Counter-Scuffle.
; (c * I'
Written by R. S.
in H 'to*
Whercunto is added
The IRISH ENTERTAINMENT.
Written by W.& G-
Dublin; Printed by Robert Tbornton% Sta¬
tioner to Their Majefties ; and are to hh
*" by the BacHellers* 1693; ^
The Counter-Scuffle.
;^,v " . v.",'. HOC: : " V ?'rf h<'. 1:1^
LEt that Majefticft P^n that Writes
of brave R his Knights^
iirid of their noble feats and fights;
' Andthofe cv ho.'te.l bt'fiiice and frcgs,
And of the SkitfflKhes afbogs, ' : ; > 1
And of fierce bears Vnd Mafi'Ve-dogs
• t • be filent.
^nd now lereach'One-lifiren we!!,
While 1 the famous bare! fell
In Woodft-esi-Counter that befel
In high Lent'
<In whipfe great &citffle-Only tivaki
Without much hurt, or being Gain,
Immortal Honour did obtain
- ^ by merit.'
One was a Ctptoivin degree,
^ftrong and lufty tMri was he,
T'other aTrades-^i'an bold and free
of fpirijf
-4nd tho he was a til a» of force,
He had a ftom&ckMJike a Horte,
And in his rage htuftio-remorfe
or pit eft
4 The CoHmer-fctiffle.
And full nimbly could he euft and clout,
And was accounted without doubt,
One of the prettieft (parks about
the City.
And at his weapon any way
He cou d perform a fingle fray
Even from the long Pike to the 7"^-
lars Bodkin.
He reckt not for his flefh a jot,
He fear'd not English-man nor Scot,
For man or monfler car'd he not
a Dodkin.
For fighting was his recreation,
And like a man in defperation,
For Law, Edift, or Proclamation
he car'd not.
And in his anger (caufe being given) , J
To lift his hand'gainft good Sir Steven,
Or any Jufticeunder Heaven
he fear'd not.
He durft his Enemy withftand,
Or at Tergoej or Calis~Sand, '/
And bravely there with fword in hand
would greet 'em.
And noble Ellis was hJs name,
Who 'roong his foes to purchafc fame
Not cared though the Devil came
to meet him.
And this brave GoUfmith was the man
Who fir ft this worthy Brawl began,
Which after ended in a can
of mild Beer
tk Cif But had you fcen him when he fought,
How eagerly for blood he fought,
There's no man but would have him thought
a wild Bear*
Imagine now you lee a fcore
Of mad-cap Gentlemen, or more,
Boys that did ufe to rant and rore,
and fwagger.
Among the which were three or four
That rui'd themlelvesby wifdomslore,
Whole very Grandlires fcarcely wore
a dagger,
A Prttfi and l.uwjtr, men will read,
In wiping fpoons and chipping bread,
And falling too, fhort Grace being led,
full roundly;
Whole hungry maws no Sallets need,
Good appetites therin to breed,
Their ftomacks without fauce could feed
profoundly.
>Twas ill that men of fober diet,
Who lov'd to fill their guts in quiet,
Were placc'd with Ruffins that to riot
Were given.
And
And (0?gre&C' wsrhorntheir food
(Their ft.ousjflrsi, .tofj/^ing ftrongstidigood)
And that (weti ^^cjCfWhertfori
be driven.
But here 'tis fitting I repeat
What food our dainty P/'ifoners eat, '
But if in pacing of tfje meat .
anddifhes,
From curious order I do fwcrve,
'lis that shv-cdelvfs^iohQoaepfcforve,
For which nor fieifi they, did.dqLf.ye,:
nor Filbes.
But lb«ie(perhrw) that Lent
Affords them not here is meet,
So much, Id good; as i hat they went
without it,
Tis, like;: hut if I add a diih
Or t * tin or three of Flefib or Fifh,
1 hey either had, or did it wiQi,
ne'r doubt it.
Then wipe your mouth while I declare '{,v
*T be gooduefs of this Lenten fare,
Which is in Prifon very rare,
I tell ye.
fturmity as fweet as any the [upper.
As good as ever fwill'd a gut,
And but ter fweet as c're was put
in belly
Aeitfooj;.
The CoitmfaSc'ffle
iWgo# tythc dozen new and good,
tib3; | Which in white (alt uprightly flood,
And meats which heat and ftir the blood
to a&iora.
As butter'd Crabs, and Lebjlers red,
Which fend the married pair to bed,
And in looie bloods have often bred
a faftion.
i Fifh butter'd to the platters brim,
And Parfnips did in butter fwim,
Strew'd o're with butter neat and trim,
fait Summon.
, Smeltscry'd, come eat me do not flay ;
Frtjh-Cod and Maids full neatly lay,
And next to thefe a lufty
Stuck thick with cloves upon the back,
'Well ftufft with Sage, and for the fmack,
Daintily ftrcw'd with Pepper black.
Soused Gurnet.
Pickrel, Sturgeon, Tench and ,
Meat far too goed for fuch a rout
To tumble, toft, and throw about,
and fpurn ic.
The next a Nexts-Tongue neatly dry'd,
Mu/ltrk and Sugar by his fide,
Roches butter'd, Flounders fry'd,
hot Cuflard.
' Eels
Midi
rve,
'■<$&?,c,
dcltfie,
4»tl«
sMi)
^ t •
nerdoiibtit
(declare
e,
'met.
in bcllj
25 The Connrtr-ScttfjU.
Eels boy I'd and broyl'd ; and next they bring
Herring^ that is the Fifhes King,
And then a Courtly Foul of Ling
and MufhtrA.
But (lay, I had almoft forgot
The flefh which (fill (lands piping hot,
Some from the (pit, (onae from the pot
new taken.
fhoulder and a leg of
As good as ever knite was put on,
,Which never was by a trpe Glutton
forfaken.
A Loyn of Veal that would have dar d
One of the ftoqteft of the Guard
-dud they fometimes will feed full hard,
like tall men.
And fuch as love the iufty Chine;
But when that 1 (hall fup or dine,
God grant they be no Gutfts of mine
of all men.
Thus the defcriptions arecompleat,
Which I have made of them and meat ?
Mars aid mc now while I repeat
the battle.
Where pots and (fools were us'd as gins
To break each others heads and (hins,
Where blows did make bones in their skins
*' to rattle.
Where
Hjjle. P
} Where men to madnefs never ceaft
Till each (furious as a beaft)
Had fpoyl'd the falhion of a Feaft
full dainty.
Whereon (had they nat been accurft)
They might have fed till bellies burft,
But ESis fhew'd himfelf the worft
of twenty.
For he began this moftrous braul,
Which afterwards incens'd them all
To throw the meat about the Hall
that even.
Jnd now give ear unto the jar
That fell between thefe men of war,
Wherein fo many harmlefs sltar
was given.
The board thus fur nifht each man late,
Some fell to feeding fometo prate,
'Mong whom a jarring queftion ftrait
was rifen.
For they grew hotly in difayte 1
What calling was of moft repute;
Twas well their wits were fo acute
in prilon.
VVhile they difcours'd, the Parfon blythe, -
Fed as he meant to have the ty the
Of every diflj, being lharpas fythe
in
But
10 j rje t oumer-jcHjjie.
But hafte fead aimoft made hirn choke,
Or eile (perhaps) he would have fpcke
In praife of his long thread-bare cloke
and breeding.
But aftera delib'rate psti'e.
The Lzwyer fpcke. aste h ed caule,
In commendation of t he
profcffion.
The J,■■ ■■'(quoth he) by a jafl doom
Doth cenfure ad that to it come,
aid ftill.defends the innocent from
oppreilion.
It favours truth, it curbs the hope
OF Vice 5 it gives allegiance fcope,
Provides a gallows and a rope
for treafon.
rhis doth the Law,and this is it
Which makes us here in Prifon fit,
IVhich grounded is on holy writ
and reafon.
'o which all men muft fubjeO: be,
is we by daily proof do fee.
3rota htgheft to the low'ft degree;
" the Scholar,
-Joble and rich it doth fubduej
The Souldier and his lwaggiring crew:
•Ut at that word the Captain grew
in choiar.
I He
He look'd full gum. k ft
Rapt out an Oath that fboo't Jxtar
And ftrack his fift that the fouhfd rcat'd
it ie thunder.
It made aH skip that ftnod him neat-,
The frighted Cuflurd tjiak'h for icar,
And thofe that heard it, ftricken Were
with wonder.
Naught did he now but frown and puff,
And having ftar'd. andfwore enough,
Thus he began in language rough,
tho cogging.
Bafe foyfting L**jtr, that doft fet
Thy mirid on nothing, but to get
Thy living by thy damned pet¬
tifogging.
A Slave, that fhall for half a Cro"n,
With Buckram Bag, and dagled Gown,
Waitiike a Dog about the Town, "
and follow
A bufinels on the Devi'Is part,
For Fees, tho not with Law nor Art,
But head as empty as thy heart
is hollow.
You ftay at home and pocket Fees,
While we abroad our bloods do leefe,
At)d then with fuch bafe terms as thefe
you wrong us;
mm v BUt
But Lawyer, it is fafgr far
,For thee to prattle at a Bar,
Than once to fhew thy face i* tffwar
among us>
Where to defend fuch thanklefs Hinds,
The Soldier little quiet finds,
But is expos'd to ftormy winds
and weathers.
j4ad oft in blood lie wades full deep,
your throats from forreign fwords to keep,
And wakes when you fccurely fleep
in feathers,
i What could your Laws and Statutes do
ijfgainft invafionsof a foe,
{Did not the valiant Soldier go
to quell 'em.
iAnd to prevent your further harms,
{With Enfign, Fife, and loud alarms,
|Ot warlike Drums, by force of .drms
repell'em.
Your Trefpafs.jl&ton will not ftand
For fetting foot upon your Land,
yVhen they in fcorn of your command
come hither*
No remedy in Court of
In Commorn PUtSy or in their
;Eoi jouling of your jobbernouls
together.
The Counter.Scuff13
VVer't not for us, thou (quoth he J
VVhere wouldft thou fog to get a fee?
But to defend fuch things as thee
'tis pity.
For fuch as thou efteem us leaft,
Who ever have been ready preft
To guard you aad your Cuckoes iieft,
the City.
That rety word made Ellis ftart,
Aad all his blood ran to his heart;
He fhook,and quak'din every part
with anger.
He lookt as if nought might affwage
The heat of his enflamed rage;
His very countenance did prefage
fome danger
A Cuckots neft.' quoth he and fo
He humm'd and held his full low,
As if diftra&ed thoughts did o-
verprefs him
At lenght,qaoth he,my Mother fed,
At Eriftow fhe was broughr.a-bed,
Aad there was Ellis born and bred,
(God blefs him,
Of London City I am free,
-<#nd there I firft my wife did fee,
And for that very caufe, quoth he,
*4 Counter-Scuffle.
And he that calls it Cuckoes neft,
Except he lays he (peaks in jeft,
He h a Villain and a Beaft,
Til prove it
This 111 maintain, nor do I care
Tho Captain, Pot-gun .ft* mp and ft a re,
And f^gger, fwear, and tear his hair
in fury
.^od with the heia ird of my b/ood,
I'll fjighc tip to the knee$ in mud,
But I / ill make my quarrel good,
allure ye
For tho I an) a ma a of Trade,
Ahd free1 of London City made, - •. *.
Ye I ule Gun, 'Bid and blade ■
I in battel
,^nd irbens, if i;eed require^ >
.1 ftemlilvesj can force the foe retire,
Wh u-ever this LowXountry Spuire
do prattle,
For we have Soldiers of our own,
yible enough to guard the Town,
And Captains of moft fair renown
' A '. / about it.
Jfanv Foeffiould fightamairi,
jJnd fet op us with all their train,
We'll make him to retire again,
ne7r doubt it.
The C Writer15
We have fought well in dangers paft,
Jnd will do while ®ur lives dq laif,
Without the help of any caft
Commander.
That hither come compell'd by want,
With rufty Swords, and Suites provanf,
VromUtricb, Ntmigutn, cr Can tit
in
The Captain could no longer hold,
But looking fiercely, plainly tpld
The Citizen, he was,too bold,
hecalPdhim.
Proud Boy, and for his fawcy fpeech,
Did vow ftortiy to whip his breech:
[Then Ellis fnatcb't the pot, with which
The Scuffle. he ma!I'd him.
He threw the Jtjgg, and therewithal
Did give the Captain >ii.ch a maul
As made him thumpagainft the wall
hucftapp??.
With rlsat the Captain took a dife
That hood brim-full of butter'd Hfh,
As good as any heart could wtfii
to Supper.
'.Aid as he threw his foot did Aide.
Which turn'd his arm and di(h afide,
-Aid all be-huttarfifhifide
Nick
; s yt—i
16 The CoHnter-fctfjjig.
And he (good man) did none difcafej
But fitting quiet, and at his eale,
With butter'd Roches thought to pleafe
his palar.
But when he felt the wrong he had,
He rag'd and fwore, and grew ftark mad ;
Some in the room been better had
without him;
For he took hold of any thing ;
And firft he caught the Pout of Ling,
Which he ctfuragioufly did fling
about him.
Out of his hand it flew apace,
And hit the Lawyer in the face,
Who at the board in higheft place
' was feated.
And as the Lawyer thought to rife,
The fait was thrown into his eyes,
Which him of fight in woful wife
' defeated.
All things near hand, Nick B threw,
At length his butter'd flew,
And hit by chance among the crew,
v v the Patient
The fauce his Coat did all bewet,
The Pritfi began to fume and fret,
The Seat was butter'd which he fee
his cn *
'ufe',
)
topkife
fc pill:
ttiai,
iwtomJ
«hid
The i Printer having a Blank Page±
thought it not amifs to Com¬
memorate the Noble March of
Gne of the moft Victorious
Generals for Liberty Europe ever
had.
*■
*»
oltct
msfaw
nta,
ityes,
iwif»
fa
'Jit threw,
He*, 1
crw, .
the h
A DIALOGUE between the.
Danube and the Rhine, on the
D U K E»s Expedition into
GERM J NT.
T H E Danube flood amaz d to fee fuch RanJks
Of unexpeded Legions on her Banks;
And asks the RHINE, Whence comes that numerous Brood, 9
That Tread and Triumph o'er my Glorious Hood, >
And Stain my Water with whole Jlreams of Blood ? 3
To whom, the Rhine ! Thel'e are Great THETl's SONS,
JchiUis, and his Warlike Myrmidons:
The Ocean's HERS, Her Children all are Free •
Her Empire fhines with Golden Liberty.
With Languid Eyes She view'd your Bleeding Land,
And for yourRefcue, fent this mighty Band 3
Pallas with Jove, did ftrive who (hould Out-doe, p
To bring the Heroeand his Arms to YOU, C
And glut your Bowels with a Hench Ragoo: 3
Like Lightning he o'er many Regions nyes,
His Dreadful Thunder Penetrates the Skies ;
Relieves your Captive Cities, Clears the Field,
And whom he does not Kill, do gladly Yield :
With Heaps of Hedoring Foes your Current Chokes,
And bravely Freed you from your Servile Yokes.
On the D U K trs going to
G E R M J N Tin a private
Capacity, 1712.
GO Mighty Prince, and thofe Great Nations fee,
Which thy Vi&onous Arms-before made free,
Vkw that fam'd Column where thy Names Ingrav'd
Shall tell then Child en who their Empire i&i'd,
Point out that Marble where thy Worth is lhown
To every Country Grateful, but thy own,
Oh ! Cenfure underferv'd, unequal Fate,
Which ilrove to lefEn him,, who made her Gdeat.
When Pamper'd witfi Sucpels, and Rich in\Fame
ExtoEd MsCgnquefts, butConderrrnM bisName,
But Vertue is a Crime, when Plac'd on High ■
Tho' all the Faults in-the Beholders Eyei
Yet he untouched, as in th$ Heat of Warrt|
Flies from no Dangers, but Inteftine Jarrs,
He Grieyes tbat-we Contemn for what he Fought,
Blufhing to lee our Blood no better Boiight.
Difdaiad in 'Factious Parties to Contend,
And ptoWSr m.Abfente moft Britani^s Friend.
So the Great SCIPIO, of Old to ftiun,
The GloridttiBn^y vvhmh his Arms had Won.
Far from his Bear, ungrateful Rome Retir'd, p
Prepared when e're his Country's Caufe Requir'd, >
To fhine" in Peace or War,: and be again Aclmir'dl 3
P i N 1 s.
The Courtier- 8c ujjle. 17
He knew not what to do pr iay,
It was in vain to Preach or Vray,
Or cry, You are all gone a ft ray
good people 2
He might as well go drive to teach
Divinuy beyond his teach ;
Or when the Bells ring outsgo preach
i'th' Steeple
At this mifchance the (illy man
Out of the Room would fain have ran,
And very angerly began
to mutter,
HI luck had he, foraftertbat
One threw the Parfnips full of fat;
Which duck like Broaches on his Hat
with butter;
.t « < - v. s,
Out of the place hefoon repairs,
And ran half headlong down the flairs,
^nd made complaint to Mr. Aires
with crying*
Up ran he to know the matter,
And found how they the things did fcatter,
Here a Trencher, there a Platter
,rr T were lying.
I dare not fay he flunk for wo,
Nor will, unteis I did it know,
BiufonteUi^rebethat dare fay fo,
that fmelt him 3
£ Nor1
} 8 T^ht£vMricr-8cnffie.
Nor Could ye blame him if he did,
For they threw difhes at his head,
-dnd did with eggs and loaves of bread ~
bepelt him
He thruft himfelf into the throng,
And us'd the vert lie of his tongue,
But what could one mans words among |
. fo many?'
The candles all were fhuffledout,
The Vitrei* flew afrefh about;
Was never fuch a combat fought
by an
Now in the dark was all the coylj
Some were bloody in the broyl,
And Tome were ftefep in Satlet-Oyl
and Muftari
The fight would make a man afear'd:
Another had a buttered bear'd,
Anothers face was all befmear'd
with Cuftard.
Others were daub'd up to the knee
With buttered Fife and Furmity ;
And fome the men could fcarceiy fee
that beat yem>
lender the board LlueMin lay,
Being fore frighted with the fray
And as the weapons flew that way
IV, llmliln a fr if oner tkre, fomstims keeper.
he eat 'eiti
The I
The Counter fctiffle. Ip
The bread ftuck in the windows ally
Like bullets in a Caftle-w^lj,
Which furious foes did feek to fcale
in battel,
Shoulders of Mutton, and Ioyns of veal
appointed tor to ferve the meal,
^bout their ears full many a peal
didratte!,
The which, when Owen El any fpy'd,
Oh, take away their arms, he cry'd,
Left fome great hurt do them betide,
One of tke Under keepers prevent it
And then away the Knave did fteal
Of food that fell, no little deal,
-^fnd in his houfe at many a meal
he fpent it.
The Captain ran the reft among,
ds eager to revenge the wrong
Done by the pot which EBis flung
fo ftoutly,
<dad angry Ellis fought about
To find rhe furious Captain outs
dt length they met, and then they fought
devoutly.
Now being met, they never lin,
Till with their loud robufbpus din
The room and all that was therein
30 i he- Cmtnier-fcujfle.
Inftead of weapons made of Steel,
1 he Captain took a falted Eel,
-4nd at each blow made reel
and tumble.
EUis a Pippin- Pye had got,
A forer weapon than the pot;
For lo, the apples being hot,
did fcald him.
The Captain laid about him ftill,
A$ if he would poor EUis bill,
And with his Eel with a good will
he mall'd him.
At length, quoth he, EUis thou art
A Fellow of a couragious heart,
Yield now, and I will take thy part
hereafter.
Quoth Ellis, much I fcorn to hear
Thy words of threat, being free from fear:
With which he hardly could forbear
from laughter, j
Togethsr then afrefh they fly,
, The Eel againft the P :'
But BUney flood there purpofely
to wateh *em.
The weapons wherewithal they fought,
Were thole for which he chiefly fought,
3\pd with an eager ftotpack thought
tocath7em.
y.
a i
liturai
■
it
xraSttri
■itch'M
igfit, F
>gl)[,D
it |
i th'4
ft
Toe Counter Jcujfl
But feap't not now fo well away
hs at the Peal and Mutton fray ;
He thought to have with fuch a prey
his jaws fed:
But all his hope did turn afide,
Helooktfor that which luck deny'd.
For Elits all be-Pippin-py d
his Calves-head.
Wo was the cafe that he was in,
The hot apples did fo fcald his skin;
His skul as it had rotten been
did qusddle.
With that one fool among the rout
Made out-cry all the houte about,
That Blaney's Brains were beaten out
his noddle.
Which Lockmocl hearing, needs would fee
What all that coyl and llir might be.
And up the flairs his guts and be
a tunkty, gat Teilm. went wadiing.
But when he came the chamber near,
Behind the door he flood to hear ;
For in he durft not come for fear
„ of.fwadling:
There flood he in a frightful cafe j
dad as by chance hp ftir'd his face,
Putl in the mhhftK'a buttered F/rff
did hit him.
31 3]
B i
;way
be Cmrier-
'Away he foeali^'ahd 'with his tongue
He lickt and fWallow'd up the wrong,
-4fld as he went the room along
be him.
For help now doth poor Lockweod cry,
O bring a Surgeon, or I die,
My guts out of my btUj fly,
come quickly,
BUnty with open mouth likewife
For prefent help of Surgeon cries ;
Fitty a man, qu6th he, that lies
fo fickly
Philips the skilful Surgeon then,
W7as cal'd, arid call'd, arid cali'd agen
If he had skill td cure thefe men,
to fhew it
At length he comes, and firft he puts
His hand's fo feel For Lockmwd's guts;
;\yhic.h came not forth fo fwee't as nuts,
ail know if.
He cries for water,, in the mean
One calls up fflajffl the
To take andflialte the iJahy clean,
arid clout it,
m
lw
lichk
bti
hik
Writ.
i,lil
Wy
Mil
fflew
m
Faft by thdndfe (he took the lqua'l, ... v
JnA led therni foftly through the Hall,
Left the perfume throu
m
S fliould /<*&
' t it
She
OyU
Whic
I
ie I
.aj,
:quJdlJ
litw it
ts
:Si 1
my
sow iv |
en, ■'
!ctafit,
w/A
otitic
Shi
7 he Counter-fcuffl 23
She turn'd his hole beneath the knee,
Nor could fhe cboofe but laugh to lee
That yellow, which was wont to be
a white breech.
She took the difli-clout off the Ihelf,
Jad with it wip'd the fii-—— eif,
Which had not wit to help it Celf,
poor — breech.
Thus leaving Lockwood all bewraid
Unto the mercy of the maid,
Who well defelerved to be paid
for taking
Such homely pains: now let us cafl
Our thoughts back oa the ftir that's paft,
And them whole bones could a®t in hafte
leave aking
y/nd, like the candles, [ball my Pen
Shew you thefe Gallants once agen,
Which now like Furies, not like men
appeared.
Frelh lights being brought t'appcafe the braH,
•Shew twenty mad men in the Hall,
With blood and laucc their faces all
belmeared
Their clothes Were rent, and foue'd in drink
Oyl, Muftard, Butter, and the ffink
Which Locktvood left, woud make one think
in ladnefs,
ill Star That
24 Ti)e ■€mnter-!>£tiffle.
f hat thefe fb monftfous creatures dwell
Either in Br'dLm or in //ell,
Or that no tongue or pen can tell
their madnefs.
They were indeed dkfigur'd fo,
Friend knew not friend, nor foe his foe ; -
For each man fea-re himfeif did know:
• . But affer
A frantick flaring round abour,
jThey fuddenly did quit their doubt,
And loudly all at once brake out
in laughter.
The heat ©f all now is allaid,
The Keepers gently do perfwade 3
And fas before) all friends are made
full kindly.
EUisthe Captain -doth imbrace,
The Captain doth return the grace,
And fo do all men in the place
as friendly.
By Jove, I love thee, Elli ry'd ;
The Captain fosn as nauch reply'd :
Thou art, quoth he, a man well try'd,
and VulcAts.
With M*trs at odds again fhall be
Ere any jars 'twixt me and thee 3
And thereupon I drink to thee
_ ?. full Can.
And
-it madi
\
efesfoe;1
I bow;
inn
I
ullM
ftmc |v
T VeCounter-^ Scuffle. 3$
And then he kneel'd upon the ground:
Drink't off (quoth Ellis) for this round
For ever {hall be held renown'd,
and never,
May any quarrel 'twixt us twain
Arife, or this renew again,
But may we loving friends remain
for ever.
Amen, cry'd the Captain, and fo did afl^
Jnd fothe Health went round the Hal;; ;
iAnd thus the famous Counter-Braid
was ended.
But hunger now did vex them more
Then all their anger did before ;
They feach'd i- th' Room how far their h®re
extended.
They want the Meat which ftole %
One find a Herring in a hole,
With durt and duft black as a cole,
and trodden
All under foot. The next in poft,
Snaps up and feeds on what was loft,
And looks not whether it were roft '
or fodden.
A third finds in another place
A piece of Ling in dirty cafe,
And muftard in his fellows face.
Another
Efpies,
^6 The 1Ct/nnier"0wjjte*
Efpies, and finds a loaf of bread,
A difh of butter all befpread,
And ftruck upon anothers head
i'th'pother.
Thus what they found, contented fome : f
At length the Keeper brings a Broom,
Meaning therewith tocieanfe the Room
with fweeping.
But under Table on the ground
Looking to fweep, by chance he found
Lluelling faining to be found-
ly fleeping.
He pull'd him out fo fwift by th' heels,
As if his bum did run on wheels,
And found his pocket ftufft with Eels .•
His cod-piece
.Did plenty of of Provifion bring,
Somewhat it held of ev\y thing,
Smelts, Flaunders, Roches, and of Ling
a broad piece.
At this difcovery each man round
Took equal flaare of what was found,
Which afterwards they freely drowrtM
in good drink.
For of good Beer there was good ftore,
Till all were glad to give it o're ;
for each man did enough and moae
that would drink.
Connitr-
Scujflt
27
And whertthey thus had drank and fed,
As if no quarrel had been bred $
They all fhook hands, and all to bed
ttpotJ did Ihuffle.
ifome Ellis, the glory of the Town,
tam With that brave Captain ofRenown
And thus I end this famous Coun-
kfrnK
V
. A
Ihe End of the Couter-Scujjle.
1)
im'
H '• • ' ,vi
The
• the
Iriih Entertainment
FRom Carried where the Noble Ormcnd met,
> fupremc Councellorsto treat
Of 1- ind's Peace ; after 1 let fly
A> the -can halbbgyi'd frclh-becf QrdVwr
All "ny'own ffiillingsTand the truth to tell \ct
One more I borrow'd of my friend $ack.Beiyt
'Twas time, I thought, to make a quick departure
With my Comrade, Ned Grffiib, to free-quarter
So calling Ned, faid I, he That long tarries
In this Town, will not find it like Beau-Mortice,
Where, when we wanted 12 d. we might dine
Zikc Dukes, and only cry, Peg, this, makes niu'vV
Here's no kind Tap-wife, nor Confiding Cook,
Will let you eat and drink, and fmoke by th' Book
k juft man fliould we grant you of that fort
Can't live by Faith here, tho there's Scripture for't
But when your pocket's empty, faith, Sir, you
Muft look your belly (feould even be fo too.
To the Country then, where we our Gcniou9 pamp
With muflard and fait beef, mutten and fampher.
And yet no Trencher (hall after a fcaft
Make us repent the fowling of the reft;
And rcafons there arc many do perfwade one,
That by our Landlord wc (hall much be made on,
Fqr my Zord Prcfidcnt hath wrote a Letter
Th&t he fliguid treat us like our felves, or better*
V X
Befitf
1)1 1
van |
m '
ri«. m
*
M, ■' Rj
joJr,
sli'Bdot- W
■
ititctot R
°u i
ms pimp'l
ipbtt,
on,
Theirrfb r.nitriatnment.
And then for certain, he's a man of bounty,
For, heark, Ned, he's High Sheriff of the County.
Bcfides, he's of the Poor's, and fo muft be
By confluence, of'our own Family.
They fay that he keeps dogs too, and win course
The Hitc mofi fiercely, but the Fox much worfc.
And, Frith, Ned thou'rt a lad whom any right
Good fellow will bid welcome at firft fight:
Thy countenance fo rofic, firaight inveaglcs,
y^nd to fay truth, we both arc pretty Beagles.
This plcas'd Nifi well, and flrait he got two able
Horfesout of my Lord Zieuteneant's Stable.
And to confine, 'cwixt dinner time and fupper
We march'd with our Portmntues at our crupper.
When we came there, wc certain ftrudtures law
-rfll perrywigg'd with rulhcs and with firaw.
So even and like, that Ned fwore by his Maker
Some LeveUorhad been the Fabricator:
So that to us 'twas not diflinguifhable
Which was the Manfion, which the Barn orStabk
Ned.. he alights, and leads (God blefs us all)
His horfeintohis Worfhip'svery HaU;
And looking round about, cries in great anger
This ftablc it hath neither rack nor manger.
Peace, Ned, quoth 1, pxethee be not fo hafty;
This Room's no Stable, tho it be as hafiy ;
1 fee a Harp and Chimney, and I dare
Say there was Fire in't before the War :
So this is no place for your horfe you fee,
' Hi for as very beafis, /'m Lure, quoth he.
I wifiVd him advis'd what he (pake there.
For fhould fuch words come to the Sheriff car,
'1'wasgoldto filvcr but he would be at us
Ere we were aware, with a Poffe Cofflmctatu's.
Out Ned went laughing:; I, as 'tis, my tai^ion,
Fell firait iuto a fcriqris.Cbritemplrgion.
If the High-Sheriff fiich a mpar^dwenihg''have,
Obonst Ohone, what/liaVlni jjtwer KnaVc/
frit
ft,
m
go 7he Irrfi Entertainment.
But fcarching farther, one, whofe unfol'd (hooes
Zikc fetters hung about his feet came toui;
And for our Horfes, faid, he'd (how a Room,
I ask'd him if he were the Sheriffs Groom .?
No, Sir, faid he, his firft-bom, and I can
For need, fupply the OfSceof his man.
I cry'd him mercy, witht him not be croft,
So off went my hat, off went his almoft.
He bid us go to that houfe, fo we took *>
Our way to th' place, Ned and his horfe miftook. -
And after we a little there had wander'd,
In came the Man which prov'd to be our Landlord
Who for his face and Garb, might pretty well
Pafs Englijb mufter for Head-Conftablr.
I with tit ceremony towards him went, ,
And gave him th' Letter from th' Zord Prefident,
He Iookt,and read it, and, for ought I know
Wc welcome were, but he ne'r told us fo:
Opening his moath at length, he ask'd us how
Corn fold beyond Seas, and if men did Plow ?
When, and for what occafion we came o're,
And if wc ever had been there before ?
1 anfwer'd fo as pleafcd him, I think ;
For ftrait he bid the Buttler bring fotne drink ;
But feeing him in half-pint di(b of wood
Sip like a Maid, thought I, this means no good
Companion, or elfc the Beer's but fmall,
Both which did prove too true, and this is all
My comfort; now I hop'd to fiod good fare,
And then for TaPle-tipple 'twas moftrare.
Now for Supper, the round board being fpread,
The ran a difli of codle'd Onions led 5
I th'body led^a faltcd tail of Samon,
And in the rear fomerank Potatoes came on.
To comfort Ned, faid I, a fhort rcpaft
Muft feivc this Wednesday night, 'caafc 'tis a faft.
But Mr. Sheriff the next meal will mend it
T© our content 5 quoth Ned, I pray God fend it-
Tfre mffr zntetrtiinmht.,
Wc fate, and foon had made an end of it, I trow,
A cle,an board, if ovfr napkins had been fo
But opening one of them, I tell you truth, /
My ftomach was got full before my mouth.
A; length it came into my fancy, that
They might be reliques oyl'd with holy fat;
And that the Apoftes when the Pafchal Zamb
Was eaten,'dipped their fingers on the fame.
Our LxndlarJ fed well, and feeing us to cat
Nothing, bid us both welcome to his meat.
And having done, he croft himfclf allo're.
His Jupper had fo done for us before.
When bed-time capr.c, he bade one with 9 light
Conduct us where wc were to lodge that nights
He had himfdf gone with us, I dare fay,
But that his Chamber did not lye that way.
So to a Room we came of which 'tis all,
I thought 'twas corrcfpondent to his Hall.
Quoth Ned, I'll not unflieath, tho I am drowfie,
Tncfe Sheets were us'd before, and may be lowfte.
What then faid I, do'ft thou not know thou noddy^
Frelh linnen is not wbolfome for the body.
And lice arc here no more an infamy
Than red-hair is the Nation's Icachcry.
So down wc fell to ficep, full well inclined,
But through the gaping Wall came fuch a Wind,
That from my head my night-C2p this is true,
To the further fide of all the Hail it blew.
And had there-been in my fantafiick pate
As many windmills as 1 faw of late
Near Wexford, 'twould have whcel'd them all about,
Aadfrom my nofe c'refincc, like a Still fpout,
Such diftillarion fell, you'd guefs by this,
My tread were what the Prophet wifhed his.
Now, 'caufc we cca'd not flecp, we fell to pray
More then we us'd,but 'twas for nought but day.
Ry the Lord, quoth Ned, the Sun, if he (hould fup
And lodge like us, at midnight would get up.
And
The h'ifij Estit
tent.
; nd I fliould tumble lefs, and flcep more, had I
I nil cad of thee, dead Ned., fome handfome body.
But there'* no night fo long but hai his morn,
And fo had this which if we had been born
Stark blind, we had not been fo glad to fee,
No alarm'd Spldier could more quick than we
Leap from his bed, and fooner drefs hirafelf ;
So down we went, and plaid till hour the twelfth. 1
Then was the Table cover d, but the fame
Linnen wc faw for Fifh and Flefli-meat came :
Platters as formerly were brought in odd,
porl^ and two boyl'd the other fod.
I'll hang for't but he thought us Scots or fern,
And brought for's not to eat but to refufe.
But wc fell on with all our main and might,
Urg'd by two reafons, hunger and defpitc.
His napkini fatnefs, leannefs of his meat,
Nor want of fait, could hinded us to eat.
Nor henceforth (hall hit Euiand Embers too,
Save him ought,for at one meal weeat two.
Devouring Swincs-flefh fo, that he fhalldrefs
Some better meat, in hopes we'll eat the lefi:
And fo live and endure till we be
Rdeafcd next general Goal-delivery.
Mean time, if .any man think I have told
More then the truth, let him come and behold J
And finding it net thus, I (hall defire
To be thought what I would, I were a Iyer.
And let that man that fhall diflike my rime,
Know that IVetnade better twenty times.
Nor was my Mufe is fault now, but the Liquor,
Has! the Ale been Wronger, th' wit had been much qfcHItf
Who drinks the fame /'ll lay my Ink and Pen on't,
He'll vrite bad 3 God bLIssny Lord lieutenm, \
FINIS.
0°) 0,3 om