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NEW COLLECTION 
 
 OF 
 
 ENIGMAS, CHARADES, 
 TRANSPOSITIONS, 8Cc. 
 
NEW COLLECTION 
 
 OF 
 
 ENIGMAS, CHARADES, 
 
 TRANSPOSITIONS, 8Cc. 
 
 A NEW EDITION". 
 
 ^ LONDON. 
 
 FRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, AND ORME, 
 
 PATZRNOSTER ROW ; 
 
 AND J. CARPENTER, NEW BOND STREET. 
 
 1806. 
 
 a. 
 

 Printed by C. IV Co. 
 
 Northumberland-court, Strand, . 
 
-I 
 
 ENIGMAS. 
 
 i. 
 
 W HAT creature's that, in Britain never rare, 
 Which to two males its mystic being owes ? 
 
 Start not, nor stand aghast, ye beauteous fair, 
 My verse no hideous, impious monster shows ; 
 
 'Tis what your lovely selves resemble most 
 In shape, complexion, features, air and mien, 
 
 What each brisk maid, each celebrated toast, 
 Views oft with ardent wishes, well I ween — 
 
 — Emblem of purity, in white array'd, 
 Some seem to think it vers'd in magic art, 
 
 With glee approach it, their desires to aid, 
 As though by touch success it could impart. 
 
 Fond fancy this, however the truth to own, 
 It yields the most exalted bliss below, 
 
 To brutes and angels equally unknown, 
 
 ? Tis all of heav'n that mortals here can know. 
 
\inhy bli irt-livM lot ; 
 
 le month be fairly o'ef, 
 1 1 utter)] 
 
 bunk in oblivion, nor thought of more. 
 
 II. 
 A Word of one syllable, easy and short, 
 
 Read back wards and forwards the same, 
 Ir expresses the sentiments warm from the heart 
 And to beauty lays principal claim. 
 
 III. 
 FORINPD long ago, yet made to-day, 
 
 Employ 'd while others sleep, 
 What few would ever give away, 
 
 Or any wisf> to keep. 
 
 IV. 
 
 Antwcr of a Lady to a Gentleman, who made Proposals of 
 
 Marriage to her. 
 
 ONE thing, kind Sir, of you I crave, 
 Which you yourself can never have, 
 \ or ever had in time that's past, 
 
 C can while time doth last ; 
 \ if yon Jove me, as you say, 
 Praj give it my — I'm sure you may. 
 
V. 
 
 PRAY ladies, who in seeming wit delight, 
 Say what's invisible, yet never out of sight ? 
 
 VI. 
 
 IN youth, exalted high in air, 
 Or bathing in the waters fair, 
 Nature to form me took delight, 
 And clad my body all in white ; 
 My person tall, and slender waist. 
 On either side with fringes grac'd, 
 Till me that tyrant man espy'd, 
 And dragged me from my mother's side. 
 No wonder now I look so thin, 
 He stripped me to my very skin ; 
 My skin he flav'd, my hair he cropt, 
 At head and foot my body lopt ; 
 And then, with heart more hard than stone, 
 He pick'd my marrow from the bone. 
 He oft employs me in disguise, 
 And makes me tell ten thousand lies : 
 From me no secret he can hide ; 
 I see his vanity and pride ; 
 And my delight is to expose 
 His follies to his greatest foes. 
 All languages I can command, 
 Yet not a word I understand. 
 B 2 
 
Without my aid, the besj dirine 
 In learning would not know a lino : 
 lawyer must forget his pleading; 
 
 The scholar Could not .show his reading. 
 
 more, my ni 
 
 ommand to kill or save ; 
 t ten thousand pounds a year, 
 And make a brat a peer. 
 
 I while I thus my lite relate, 
 I only hasten on my fate. 
 My ton -lie ifl black, my mouth is furrM ; 
 I hardly now can force a word ; 
 I die, unpitied and forgot, 
 And on some dunghill left to rot. 
 
 VII. 
 A Word there is five syllables contains, 
 Take one away, no syllable remains. 
 
 VIII. 
 BRETHREN of a wondrous kind, 
 
 All of us in one you'll find ; 
 
 among na all, no brother 
 lie tittle of the other. 
 
We in frequent councils are, 
 And our marks of things declare, 
 Where, to us unknown, a clerk 
 Sets and takes them in the dark : 
 He's the register of all 
 In our ken, both great and small ; 
 By us forms his laws and rules ; 
 He's our master, we his tools ; 
 Yet we can, with greatest ease, ' 
 Turn and wind him as we please. 
 
 One of us alone can sleep, 
 Yet the rest no watch will keep ; 
 But the moment that he closes, 
 Every brother else reposes. 
 
 If wine's brought, or victuals drest, 
 One enjoys them for the rest. 
 Pierce us ali with wounding steel, 
 One for all of us will feel. 
 Though ten thousand cannons roar, 
 Add to them ten thousand more ; 
 Yet but one of us is found 
 Who regards the dreadful sound. 
 If scents are grateful to the smell, 
 There's but ©ne of us can tell. 
 
IX. 
 
 PROTEUS, wluu in a changing mood, 
 Could take whatever form he wauM ; 
 So poets say ; but I <Ji 
 He ever changed bo of) as I. 
 
 Then an object that you've 
 
 But 1 myself at titpes have been. 
 
 No king, Prom first to latest hour, 
 Could ever bo eater pow'r ; 
 
 For lei their strength he what it wou'd, 
 By me they did or harm or good. 
 First, should I what I've been rehearse, 
 Twou'd comprehend the universe. 
 I've been a spaniel, been a hero ; 
 I've been a god, Pve been a Nero ; 
 I've been a lion, and a dove, 
 And sent on embassies of Jove. 
 Armies arc rais'd by my command, 
 And I can make them too disband. 
 No bigger than your finger's end, 
 The strongest I to prison send ; 
 And by authority of me 
 The wretch from dungeon is set free. 
 Without my aid, this I may boast, 
 King Charles his head had never lost. 
 Though all is true that I have said, 
 I'm very oft a cypher made. 
 
fi 
 
 / 
 
 X. 
 
 FROM heav'n I fall, though from earth I begin ; 
 
 No lady alive can show such a skin. 
 
 I'm bright as an angel, and light as a feather ; 
 
 But heavy and dark when you squeeze me together. 
 
 Though candour and truth in my aspect I bear, 
 
 Yet many poor creatures I help to ensnare. 
 
 Though so much of heav'n appears in, my make, 
 
 The foulest impressions I easily take. 
 
 My parent and I produce one another, 
 
 The mothecthe daughter, the daughter the mother. 
 
 XI. 
 
 A Word of three syllables, seek 'till you find, 
 That has in it the twenty-four letters combined. 
 
 XII. 
 NEVER sleeping, still awake ; 
 Pleasing most when most I speak j 
 The delight of old and young, 
 Though I speak without a tongue. 
 Nought but one t'hing can confound me, 
 Many voices joining round me, 
 Then I fret and roar and gabble, 
 Like the labourers of Babel. 
 Now I am a dog or cow ; 
 I can bark, or I can low ; 
 
8 
 
 I can bleatj or 1 can sing, 
 Like the wafolers of the spring. 
 the love-sick bard complain, 
 And 1 mourn the cruel pain : 
 Let the happy swam rejoii 
 And 1 join my helping voice, 
 Uoth arc w elcome, grief or joy, 
 
 I with cither spoil and toy. 
 
 Though a female, I am stout ; 
 Drums and trumpets bring me out : 
 Then I clash, and roar, and rattle, 
 Join in all the din of battle. 
 Jove, with all his loudest thunder, 
 When I'm vex'd, can't keep me under ; 
 Yet, so tender is my ear, 
 That the lowest voice I fear. 
 Much 1 dread the courtier's fate 
 When his merit's out of date ; 
 For I hate a silent breath ; 
 And a whisper is my death. 
 
 XIII. 
 IF you expect from me my birth, 
 I'm near as old as mother earth ; 
 But 'tis as well, you must allow, 
 To say that I am living now ; 
 
And that must every mortal find 
 
 Who dealings has with human kind 
 
 The greatest rascal owes to me 
 
 Show of respectability. 
 
 Pm often on a lover's lips, 
 
 And save a statesman when he trips. 
 
 All would-be patriots owe to me 
 
 Alone their popularity. 
 
 If any one my feature traces, 
 
 He'll surely find me with two faces. 
 
 The one is black, the other white ; 
 
 This to deceive, that to delight. 
 
 To serve the great is most my pride ; 
 
 For then I show a fair outside. 
 
 Burke always finds me at his back ; 
 
 But then indeed my face is black. 
 
 The poets love me to their heart ; 
 
 With them I play a topmost part : 
 
 Assist the orators in diction ; 
 
 Yet prove that all they say is fiction. 
 
 And last, though all join to abuse me, 
 
 You'll scarce find one asham'd to use me. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 BY something form'd, I nothing am ; 
 Yet every thing that you can name. 
 
10 
 
 III no place hare 1 ever been ; 
 Yet everj where I may !><' seen. 
 
 Iii all thin j el ata ays true ; 
 
 I'm still the s unc, but ever new. 
 
 Lifeless, lift 'a perfect form 1 wear, 
 Can sho* , tongue, <>r ear ; 
 
 Yet neither smelly see, taste, or hear. 
 
 Swiftly 1 move, and enter where 
 
 Not e'en a chink can let in air. 
 Like thought, I'm in a moment gone ; 
 Nor can I ever be alone. 
 All tilings on earth I imitate 
 Faster than nature can create. 
 Sometimes imperial robes I wear ; 
 Anon in beggar's rags appear : 
 A giant now, and straight an elf; 
 I'm every one, but ne'er myself: 
 Ne'er sad, I mourn, ne'er glad, rejoice ; 
 I move my lips, but w r ant a voice. 
 I ne'er was born, or e'er can die ; , 
 Then pry'thee tell me, what am I ? 
 
 XV. 
 
 IF it be true, as Welchmen say, 
 Honour depends on pedigi- 
 Then stand by, clear the way, 
 
 \ 
 
11 
 
 Ye sons of haughty gore, 
 And ye the seed of old Glendore, 
 And let me have fair play. 
 
 For though ye boast from ages dark 
 Your pedigree from Noah's ark, 
 
 Painted on parchment nice, 
 I'm older still, though I was there 
 As first I did appear 
 
 With Eve in Paradise. 
 
 For I was Adam, Adam I, 
 And I was Eve, and Eve was I, 
 
 In spite of wind and weather. 
 —But mark me ; Adam was not I, 
 Neither was Mrs. Adam, I, 
 
 Unless they were together. 
 
 Suppose then Eve and Adam talking : 
 With all my heart ; yet if they're walking 
 
 There ends all simile ; 
 For though Pve tongue, and often talk, 
 And legs, yet when I walk, 
 
 It puts an end to me : 
 
 Not such an end, but that Pve breath ; 
 Therefore to such a kind of death 
 I make but small objection ; 
 
For soon again I come in vil 
 And though a Christain, yet it's true 
 I die bj i "ii. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 WE are little airy creatun 
 
 Each have different forms and features; 
 
 One of us in glass is set ; 
 
 Another you will find in jet ; 
 
 A third, less bright, is set in tin ; 
 
 The fourth, a shining box within ; 
 
 And the fifth, if you pursue, 
 
 It will never fly from you. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 WHEN we our story would begin. 
 We first must trace our origin : 
 A weary task then sure is mine, 
 Who trace it from both sides the line ; 
 And true it is, I owe my birth 
 To animals, as well as earth. 
 My being to such climates owe 
 As vertal heat and endless snow. 
 Eve been a tree, Eve been a ram ; 
 Insects have made me what I am. 
 
i: 
 
 Though straight, well formed, and never sick,, 
 
 I cannot stand without a stick : 
 
 Pleasing and useful to one sense, 
 
 I to another give offence. 
 
 Vm born for a domestic use, 
 
 Yet often witness great abuse. 
 
 I villains serve to aid their flight ; 
 
 The good, to bring their deeds to light. 
 
 Jn others, lunacy is dreaded ; 
 
 But I please most when most light-headed. 
 
 XVIII. 
 BEFORE a circle let appear 
 Twice twenty-five and five in rear ; 
 One fifth of eight subjoin, and then 
 You'll quickly find what conquers men. 
 
 XIX. 
 
 BEGOTTEN and born, and dying with noise, 
 The terror of women, and pleasure of boys ; 
 Like the fictions of poets concerning the wind, 
 I'm chiefly unruly when strongest confinM. 
 For silver and gold I don't trouble my head, 
 But all I delight in is pieces of lead, 
 Except when I trade with a ship or a town, 
 Why then I make pieces of iron go down, 
 c 
 
IV 
 
 One property more 1 would have you remark ; 
 
 more fond of B spark : 
 
 Whenever 1 gel one, my soul's all on fii 
 
 1 roar out myjoy, and in transports expire. 
 
 XX. 
 I'M most conspicuous, though I'm form'd to hide; 
 I'm still of use, e'en when I'm laid aside*; 
 I aid the viewer, yet obstruct the sight, 
 And love the day, though set against the light : 
 Prom [taly I take my name and birth ; 
 And now my offering's spread o'er all the earth : 
 Though different forms I take, I'm mostly seen, 
 True to one colour, nature's favourite green. 
 
 XXI. 
 THREE fourths of a cross and a circle complete, 
 Two semicircles and a perpendicular m< 
 A triangle standing on two feet. 
 Two semicircles and circle complete. 
 
 XXII. 
 WHAT hone 
 Whose du ir ! 
 
 though Tin dr lord, 
 
 I'm grave enOUj i : 
 
15 
 
 Whether I wait in silk or woollen, 
 My lady'll now be kind, now sullen : 
 High now in favour, — straight begone ; 
 Commended now, now trampled on ; 
 Now seated by her own bedside; 
 Doom/d now the wooden horse to ride : 
 Now shook perhaps, or soundly beat ; 
 Permitted next to kiss her feet. 
 But though I've often borne disgrace, 
 What beaus have envy'd me my place ! 
 He that my mistress' favour gain, 
 Let him my name and post explain. 
 
 XXIII. 
 IN a garden w r as laid 
 A beautiful maid, 
 
 As fair as the flow'rs in the mom ; 
 The first hour of her life 
 She was made a wife, 
 
 And she dv'd before she was born. 
 
 XXIV. 
 
 A Sailor launch'd a ship of forces 
 A cargo put therein of course ; 
 No goods had he he wishM to sell ; 
 Each wind did serve his turn as well 5 
 c 2 
 
16 
 
 No pirates dreaded j l ° uu harbour bound ; 
 
 wish that he might run aground. 
 
 XXV. 
 ALL-RULING tyrant of the earth, 
 To vilest .slaves I owe my birth ; 
 How is th #J monarch Li 
 
 When in my gaudy h\er; 
 No haughty nymph has pow'r to run 
 From me or my embi m. 
 
 Stabb'd to the heai nu'd to flame, 
 
 My constancy is still the same : 
 The fav'rite messenger of Jove 
 And Lemnian god, consulting, strove 
 To make me glorious to the sight 
 Of mortals, and the gods' delight : 
 Soon would their altars' flame expire, 
 If I refus'd to lend them fire. 
 
 XXVI. 
 WHEN you and I together meet, 
 We make up six, iu house or street ; 
 When I and you do meet, once more, 
 Alas ! poor we, can make but four ; 
 And last, when you from 1 ftjre gone, 
 I make but solitary Oil 
 
17 
 
 XXVII. 
 LONG before Adam, one thefe lived, 
 And liveth still, as is believed, 
 Whose name reversed here you'll see ; 
 Ladies, pray say, who this may be. 
 
 XXVIIL 
 THOUGH I, alas ! a prisoner be, 
 My trade is prisoners to set free. 
 No slave his lord's command obeys 
 With more insinuating ways. 
 My genius piercing, sharp and bright, 
 Wherein the men of wit delight. 
 The clergy keep me for their ease, 
 And turn and wind me as they please. 
 A new and wondrous art I show 
 Of raising spirits from below ; 
 In scarlet some, and some in white, 
 They rise, walk round, yet never fright. 
 A greater chemist none than I, 
 Who, from materials hard and dry, 
 Have taught men to extract with skill 
 More precious juice than from a still. 
 Although I'm often out of case, 
 I'm not asham'd to show my face : 
 Though at the tables of the great, 
 I near the side-board take my seat ; 
 c 3 
 
18 
 
 Jfd the plain \<pm<\ when dinner's done, 
 
 b never pleas'd till 1 make one : 
 
 He kindly bids me near him stand, 
 And ofien t;ik< s inr by the hand. 
 I twice B gOj 
 
 Nor ever tail to seise my foe ; 
 And when 1 have him by the poll, 
 I drag him upwards from his hole ; 
 Though BOQIi are of such stubborn kind, 
 I'm fore'd to leave a limb behind. 
 I hourly wait some fatal end ; 
 For I can break, but scorn to bend. 
 
 XXIX. 
 
 YONDER lives a shoemaker, who works without 
 
 leather, 
 And, strange ! employs all the four elements together I 
 Of fire he makes use, of water, earth, and air, 
 And for ev'ry customer makes a double pair. 
 
 XXX. 
 THE beginning of eternity, 
 
 The end of time and spa* 
 The beginning of every ami, 
 
 And the end of every plfl 
 
19 
 
 XXXI. 
 
 THERE is a thing was three weeks old 
 When Adam was no more ; 
 
 This thing it was but four weeks old 
 When Adam was fourscore. 
 
 XXXII. 
 
 I'M up, and down, and round about. 
 
 No mortal e'er found my end out ; 
 
 Though hundreds have employ'd their leisure, 
 
 They never could disclose my measure. 
 
 I'm found in almost ev'ry garden ; 
 
 Nay in the compass of a farthing : 
 
 There's neither chariot, coach, nor mill 
 
 Can move an inch except I will. 
 
 XXXIII. 
 EVER eating, never cloying, 
 All devouring, all destroying, 
 Never finding full repast 
 Till I eat the world at last. 
 
 XXXIV. 
 
 i 1 pounds and oence two letters place, 
 Twill tell you something near his grace. 
 
\v. 
 EV'RY lady in ey'rj land 
 
 on each hand 
 Five, ami twenty on hands and feel 
 All this ia true w ithont deceit. 
 
 XXXVI. 
 WITHOUT my aid, no nymph is truly fair, 
 Nor could you ever find a happy pair ; 
 In curs'd rebellion me the head you'll find, 
 To murder, cruelty and rage inclined ; 
 Yet virtue's friend all surely must agree, 
 Since e'en religion's sell" must cease with me. 
 Thus you perceive I'm not devoid of grace, 
 Yet ne'er in heav'u or hell shall 1 have place. 
 Though in the centre of the world I'm pent, 
 Though h\ my pow'r each element, 
 
 Though on my aid myriads of worlds depend, 
 Ladies, you'll find meat your finger's end. 
 
 XXXVII. 
 A Friend and an h\<j; and a curse, 
 
 life and tak< and short, round 
 
 and scpiare, rough and smooth, straight and crooked, 
 
 hot and cold, KlOSl wanted where it is 
 
 in the greatest plenty ; it accommodates itself to all 
 
palates ; sweet and of a bad smell, strong and weak ; 
 sometimes able to bear the greatest burdens, at other 
 times will not bear a pin : for this men make long 
 journeys, though they have it in the greatest plenty at 
 home. It is subject to reflection, and has the power 
 of dissolving matrimony : it has the privilege to kiss 
 the lips of the fairest ladies, assist them in dressing, and 
 1 s highly instrumental towards improving their charms. 
 It is subservient and overbearing, death and an anti- 
 dote, causes famine and plenty, is a fluid and a solid, 
 a mountain and a valley, has a numerous offspring, yet 
 is an enemy to children : the subject of miracles, a 
 theme of poets, an improvement of music, of great use 
 in fortifications, employed in the finest paintings, And 
 produces the noblest architecture in the world. 
 
 XXXYIII. 
 ICUBYYFORME. 
 
 XXXIX. 
 
 The follcming Letters were written under the Ten Com- 
 mandments in a Welch Church, the meaning of which 
 remained undiscovered above a Century. 
 
 P.R.S.V.R.Y. P.R. F,CT,M,N. 
 Y R.K.P.T.H.S.P.R,C.P.T.ST..N. 
 
XI . 
 THERE waa a man of Adam's race 
 Who had a certain dwelling-place, 
 
 Twa plete and cover'd o'er, 
 
 No man since dwelt there or before; 
 Neither of wood oi \i made, 
 
 in the fabric brick was laid ; 
 Twaa so contrived and put together, 
 
 reen from * ind and weather; 
 
 ifl not in hcav'n, or earth, or hell; 
 
 Then tell me where this man did dwell ? 
 
 ♦ XLI. 
 A Word that's oft us'd and entail'd on mankind, 
 Not one e'er escapes it, the rich, lame, or blind ; 
 ill quench a high fever, and put out a flame, 
 To warriors and poets will give their due fame : 
 'Tis odd, yet 'tis even, and yet it is neither, 
 Exposed to all winds, and in all kinds of weather. 
 
 XLII. 
 
 THERE is a certain natural production, neither ani- 
 mal, vegetable, nor mineral ; it exists upon the surface 
 of the earth, from two feet to six; it is neither male 
 nor female, but between both ; it is often mentioned ir 
 the Old Testament, and strongly recommended in the 
 New. 
 
23 
 
 XLIII. 
 
 1. 
 
 FAIR ladies, the freedom excuse 
 
 Which presumes to desire you'll attend 
 If you relish these sports of the muse, 
 
 I hope you'll approve what Fve penned. 
 2. 
 The use that I'm of to the fair, 
 
 Is known to both foolish and wise ; 
 They employ to attach me great care, 
 
 And some men too my worth greatly prize. 
 3. 
 If I from a fair one should stray, 
 
 What confusion for her is in store, 
 Since my service she seeks all the day, 
 
 Nor without me can stir from her door. 
 4. 
 My form longitudinal, does, 
 
 When used, a circle produce ; 
 My station I must not disclose, 
 
 When you know me, you'll find my excuse. 
 5. 
 My size and complexion exceed 
 
 Mechanical pow'rs to explain ; 
 From all external ills I am freed, 
 
 But daily my bondage retain. 
 
0. 
 
 I am rarely exposed to view; 
 No more will I say :<> my feme ; 
 
 This favour, ft lair, I from you 
 
 ■ I you tell inc my name. 
 
 XLIV. 
 DREST in the gayest form I oft appear, 
 To please the fancy of the blooming fair, 
 Whom I to church, the ball and play attend, 
 Their lovely eyes from folly to defend. 
 
 youths oft wish that they like me could sip 
 The balmy nectar of a fair one's lip : 
 But I, still watchful of my lovely charge, 
 Prevent her eyes from roving out at large. 
 Surely such services, at least, might claim 
 That from oblivion they should snatch my name. 
 Alas ! a different fate attends their slave : 
 When worn with age, though still with honour brave, 
 I'm cast neglected by, perhaps in scorn, 
 To the hot flames my tender limbs are borne : 
 Can cruel acts like these become the fair, 
 To those who guard them with a mother's care 
 
 XLV. 
 READ Exodus, you'll plainly see 
 What wonders have been wrought by 
 
25 
 
 When in a holy mortal's hand, 
 
 More pow'r I had than sorcerer's wand. 
 
 King Solomon well knew my worth. 
 
 As in his writings he set forth. 
 
 To moderns too my use is known, 
 
 Much good Pve done to them they'll own : 
 
 When promises nor threats avail, 
 
 My arguments scarce ever fail ; 
 
 And when employed, I clear the skull, 
 
 And drain off all that makes it dull : 
 
 Thus I, such is my art, in fine, 
 
 Make blockheads clever, dunces shine. 
 
 XLVI. 
 
 YE who have genius ! tell my name : 
 Twin -born into the world I came; 
 I generally am found in pairs, 
 Which male as well as female bears, 
 If single, without fault in nature, 
 My name denominates a creature. 
 I, first of all, defend my parents 
 From noisy mob and their adherents. 
 But when I boldly fight and wound, 
 I'm destitute of voice and sound. 
 Oft, as my parents I survive, 
 I wondrous use from them derive : 
 I then am plainly heard from far, 
 Loud as an instrument of war, 
 
 D 
 
Oft am I plae'd in public station 
 ( )f general uegociation. 
 With me all matters circulate 
 
 In city, country, < liureh or state. 
 To my persuasions numbers yield, 
 And at my summons take the field ; 
 When, cheer'd by me, they best sustain 
 The toil and danger of the plain : 
 This done, I silent service give, 
 And troops fatigu'd, through me revive. 
 When I refreshment kind impart, 
 And with long draughts regale the heart ; 
 When sinking Phoebus yields to night, 
 And stars diffuse but feeble light — 
 Then I transmit a borrowed ray, 
 And kindle darkness into day. 
 Sometimes I cover the foundation 
 Of all the learning in the nation. 
 \ , to conclude, fair ladies, ye 
 Contribute tow'rds producing me. 
 
 XLVII. 
 LET it be known, I boast celestial birth, 
 Though oft I fix my residence on earth. 
 In Paradise I once was known to dwell 
 Ere the first pair by disobedience fell. 
 But when the horrors of their guilt they knew, 
 From the sad spot precipitate I flew. 
 
27 
 
 Once by a virtuous prince I was possest, 
 
 And liv'd the sovereign of his breast. 
 1 But now, alas ! at courts Fm seldom found ; 
 i My direst foes usurp that sinful ground. 
 -■ Like Noah's dove, I range the world's vast space, 
 
 Alike perplexed to find a resting-place. 
 
 My sex is feminine, or poets feign ; 
 ! I w r ear a placid and engaging mien : 
 \ Pm gentle, mild, benevolent, sincere; 
 
 And where I dwell d illusive smiles appear*. 
 
 All vice I hate, and malice I despise, 
 
 And ne'er am found but with the good and wise. 
 
 Take one hint more that may my name disclose; 
 
 I heighten joys, and soften human woes. 
 
 XLVIII. 
 YE riddling bards, explore my name, 
 
 And to the ladies show it ; 
 For they by me acquire much fame, 
 
 And therefore ought to know it. 
 
 My form's round, oval, long or square ; 
 
 As different are my prices ; 
 And I am always near the fair, 
 
 When first the charmer rises. 
 
 To church and playhouse I attend. 
 In a snug place secure ; 
 d 2 
 
When beans or belies I there befriend, 
 I'm found in minatui 
 
 Me, the old maid who wants a spouse, 
 Oft virus with great regard; 
 
 Pm found in almost ev'ry house, 
 And often broke, though hard. 
 
 XL1X. 
 
 WHEN first presented to the world, 
 
 Pm innocent and fair ; 
 But catch the vices of the age 
 
 Before Pve long been there. 
 
 While new my face, Pm sure to please ; 
 
 But short-livM is my sway ; 
 For scarce I'm won, e'er fickle man 
 
 Casts me with scorn away. 
 
 Not satisfied with quitting me, 
 
 To aggravate my shame, 
 When he's obtained all I can yield, 
 
 He gives me a bad name. 
 
 In vice, in virtue, folly, sense. 
 
 In wit too I abound ; 
 In short, in me variety 
 
 Of ev'ry sort is found. 
 
29 
 
 Arts, science, war, Parnassian wreaths, 
 
 Law and divinity ; 
 Actors, wits, beauties, often owe 
 
 To me celebrity. 
 
 I'm found in almost ev'ry land, 
 
 In Britain well am known; 
 A welcome guest where'er I go; 
 
 I visit e'en the throne. 
 
 Wealth, fame, and honour I dispense, 
 And sometimes cause disgrace ; 
 
 To dismal prisons some I send ; 
 To others, give a place. 
 
 In life and death too I've a hand, 
 
 These give and take away ; 
 A proof of this most men receive 
 
 On each returning day. 
 
 But though thus gifted, I, alas ! 
 
 Man's fatal victim prove, 
 Destroy'd, as oft's the case, by him 
 
 Who once professed to love. M. 
 
 L. 
 
 ERE Adam was, my being first began, 
 Pure and unspotted, till defiled by man — 
 d 3 
 
30 
 
 ]>ut stop ; I ask t! pardon Brst : 
 
 nud that woman's faults made me accurst, 
 
 And yet, lUCh km I beW U> human kind, 
 
 Their choicest bl< re through me consigned ; 
 
 Relief from pain, and balms for ev'ry ill. 
 Nor is this all : I other gifts add still. 
 
 (.old. silver, precioipa gems; they all art 1 mine ; 
 
 Which to their use J willingly resign ; 
 And, in return, the only thing I ask, 
 Is, that they tell my name, an easy task. 
 
 LI. 
 INSENSIBLE as clay, deaf, dumb, and blind, 
 1 yet possess each passion of the mind. 
 Rage, tenderness, grief, joy, soft hope, and fear, 
 Dwell in my breast, and in my words appear. 
 Nor only I possess, but can impart, 
 
 i sentiment that ever touch'd the heart. 
 At the same time, by the same means bestow 
 The height of pleasure, and abyss of woe. 
 Some at my sight you'll see with horror start, 
 While others fondly press me to their heart ; 
 The band of friendship, and the source of strife ; 
 Sometimes the comfort, then the curse of life. 
 In foreign climes I oft am seen to roam ; 
 Yet none so strange, but there I find an home. 
 Though in aught else their notions disagree, 
 In this they all unite, they're fond of me. 
 
31 
 
 But though the object of their strong desire, 
 
 Ungrateful man oft dooms me to the fire. 
 
 In different climes, a different dress I wear ; 
 
 In France, with garlands grac'd, I oft appear : 
 
 In England, black and gold my sides adorn, 
 
 And robes that rival the fair flocks just shorn 
 
 Sometimes as soon as I am born I die ; 
 
 Sometimes for centuries I death defy. 
 
 Like man, if good, my merits have this fate, 
 
 My spirit they to other realms translate. ML 
 
 LII. 
 FOUR men once sat down in a tavern to play ! 
 They play'd all the night, and part of the day. 
 Though none of them betted, no stake was put down, 
 Each found when he rose he was winner a crown. 
 
 LIII. 
 KITTY, a fair but frozen maid, 
 
 Kindled a flame I yet deplore : 
 The hood-wink'd boy I call to aid, 
 
 Though of his near approach afraid, 
 So fatal to my suit before. 
 
 At length, propitious to my pray V, 
 The little urchin willing came 
 
 From earth, I saw him mount in air, 
 
And suon ho cur'd with dcxt'rous caje 
 
 The bitter relics of my flami . 
 Say by what title, »>r what name, 
 
 1 thai] this busy youth addn i 
 Cupid and ho are not the same, 
 
 Though both can raise or quench a Same 
 Vm sure 'twill please you if you gu< 
 
 LIV. 
 
 PROUD, noble, gen'rous, handsome, free, 
 
 Few are so much earessM as me. 
 
 The statesman, wit, the prince and peer, 
 
 Full often in my train appear. 
 
 Like a first minister of state 
 
 They my important fiat wait ; 
 
 3Iy will and pleasure's oft their fate. 
 
 I thousands give ; and, in an hour, 
 
 Can take away, such is my pow'r. 
 
 But though thus by the great carest, 
 
 I'm by the lowest oft opprest. 
 
 A wretch, who is not worth a sous, 
 
 Can what he pleases make me do; 
 
 And in his hands I'm oft a tool 
 
 To make the wisest man a fool. 
 
 For e l, with all his wit, 
 
 through my means, 'tis said, been bit. 
 
 } 
 
33 
 
 Life's sad vicissitudes I know, 
 
 Am sometimes high, and sometimes low. 
 
 In early youth of servants I 
 
 Have many ; yet, before I die, 
 
 A servant do myself become 
 
 To menial slaves, such is my doom. 
 
 Yet, spite of my degraded fate, 
 
 I still can "service do the state," 
 
 The thoughts of senators convey, 
 
 Or take its enemies away. 
 
 The swain who would his mistress see, 
 
 Is oftentimes oblig'd to me ; 
 
 Physicians oft my service claim, 
 
 And subtle lawyers do the same ; 
 
 But this is when Pve lost my fame. 
 
 Once pride of Britain and of Rome, 
 
 I now neglected die, unhonourM by a tomb. 
 
 M. 
 
 LV. 
 PM rough, Pm smooth, Pm wet, Pm dry, 
 My station low, my title high ; 
 The king my lawful master is ; 
 Pm us'd by all, though only his. 
 
 I 
 
LVL 
 
 BE1 < >RE creating nature will'd 
 
 That atoms into forms should n 
 l.\ me the boundless space wis til I'd, 
 
 On me was built the first made star, 
 i will break his word ; 
 
 iJy the proud atheist I'm ador'd ; 
 At me the coward draws his sword; 
 
 A\\(\ by the hero I am fear'd. 
 Scorn'd by the meek and humble mind ; 
 
 Yt t often by the vain possest : 
 Heard by the deaf, seen by the blind ; 
 
 I'm to the troubled conscience rest. 
 Than wisdom sacred self I'm wiser, 
 
 Though yet by ev'ry blockhead known 
 I'm freely given by the miser, 
 
 Kept by the prodigal alone. 
 The king (God bless him,) as 'tis said, 
 
 By me is put into a passion : 
 Vet even him I can persuade 
 
 To act against his inclination. 
 As vice deform'd, as virtue fair ; 
 
 The courtier's loss, the patriot's gains 
 The poet's wealth, the coxcomb's care : 
 
 Read ; and you have it for your pains. 
 
35 
 
 LVIL 
 A THING without which, 'tis my real belief, 
 You seldom would choose the best way to dress beef. 
 A song, though I own it appears a strange thing, 
 No one person on earth can possibly sing. 
 'Tis the name of a man who holds a good place, 
 Though some in high station turn from him their face. 
 
 LVIII. 
 SAY, joyous riddlers, what am I? 
 You'll quickly guess, if once you try ! 
 For I am often near the breast ; 
 Yet seldom visit the distrest. 
 With happy mortals I am found, 
 And make the hearty laugh go round ; 
 Their joking sure proclaims me near, 
 From rustic clown to courtly peer. 
 Nor dwell I with mankind alone ; 
 The birds may claim me as their own : 
 And if you manage me with skill, 
 I'll tell your fortune when you will ; 
 At least as far as this be said, 
 I'll tell two folks who first shall wed, 
 And do all this without a head. 
 
 i 
 
 LIX. 
 FAIR ladies must own 
 That to them I am known, 
 

 I hem don't always mind n*> 
 For the o make, 
 
 Who perchance ham me not when they find mc 
 
 But for wn-up folk, 
 
 I a truth, and no joke, 
 1 a shame you neglect and so flout me: 
 I'm part of your creed, 
 
 your pray'rs indeed, 
 And the scripture ia nothing without mc. 
 
 So useful though thought, 
 
 Yet so oft set at nought, 
 
 'Tis no wonder I'm laid on the shelf. 
 
 But in searching take care, 
 
 For you mayn't be aware, 
 
 That my half is just double myself. 
 
 LX. 
 
 SINCE Diogenes' time, I'm the best habitation 
 That e'er was contriv'd by a civilizM nation; 
 Yet thro' regions so distant no mortal e'er strolls, 
 r I visit all nations between the two poles. 
 
 LXI. 
 FOUR things there are, all of a height, 
 of them crook'd, the rest upright. 
 
37 
 
 Take three away, and you will find 
 Exactly ten remain behind. 
 But if you cut the four in twain, 
 You'll find one half doth eight retain. 
 
 Lxn. 
 
 FROM the third Henry's reign I my pedigree trace, 
 
 Tho' some will contend that more ancient's my race. 
 
 But in those early days, my importance was small ; 
 
 I ne'er came by chance, but obey'd others call : 
 
 Now, so willing am I, no entreaties I need ; 
 
 But I tremble and fear lest I should not succeed. 
 I I'm a mere human creature, 
 i But to form me requi 
 
 And, what is more Strang 
 
 I was born among riot, and tumult, and noise, 
 
 Of a numerous family, most of them boys. 
 
 We are none of us dumb, some of language profuse ; 
 
 But two words are as many as most of us use. 
 
 One little hint further to give I think fit ; 
 
 We all of us stand before we can sit. 
 
 LXIII. 
 NO rose can boast a lovelier hue 
 Than I can, when my birth is new; 
 Of shorter date than is that flow'r, 
 I bloom and fade within an hour. 
 
 E 
 
 ear lest 1 snouia not succeed. 
 
 :reature, like you or another, } 
 
 lires neither father nor mother; v 
 
 strange, I have often a brother. I 
 
Though some in me their honour place, 
 I bear the token of disgrace : 
 Like Marplot, eager to reveal 
 The secrets I would fain conceal, 
 
 Is, coxcombs, wits, agree in this, 
 They equally destroy my peace ; 
 Though "gainst my will to stoop so low, 
 At their command I come and go. 
 
 LXIV. 
 
 BORN in a land of liberty, 
 
 No creature ever was less free ; 
 
 For soon as born, I'm close confm'd, 
 
 Where none a door could ever find. 
 
 But tho' 'twixt wooden walls thus pent, 
 
 I quiet live, and am content, 
 
 For well I figure, and pay no rent: 
 
 'Tis when my freedom I obtain 
 
 I'm first susceptible of pain. 
 
 Sometimes man's sport, sometimes his guest ; 
 
 When known to him, adieu to rest. 
 
 Man, who delights in fancies strange, 
 
 And out of nature's bounds to range, 
 
 Deprives his horse and dogs of tail, 
 
 And makes them loss of ears bewail. 
 
 Pm often by his whims abus'd ; 
 
 1 or though to walking never us'd, 
 
39 
 
 Though hands, or feet, or legs, Fve none, 
 
 Yet for his sport Fm set to run. 
 
 But when such freaks he takes, 'tis said 
 
 By some, Pve mounted to his head. 
 
 Sometimes large sums of gold he gains, 
 
 The fruit of my fatigue and pains : 
 
 And when I thus have serv'd his turn, 
 
 Me from his table oft he'll spurn ; 
 
 Though when, thus cruel, me he treats, 
 
 He his desert in general meets. M. 
 
 LXV. 
 NO mouth, no tongue, no nose, no ears have I ; 
 I neither walk, nor stand, nor run, nor fly ; 
 No sense I boast, nor of myself can harm 
 The smallest fly, or breed the least alarm ; 
 Yet when into the hands of man I come, 
 No furious fiend from Tartarus or Rome, 
 That spreads her baleful poison as she flies, 
 And with her breath contaminates the skies, 
 Can boast such mischief as takes birth from me; 
 The noble and ignoble, bond and free, 
 Alike my comforts or my terrors feel, 
 More poignant far than swords of sharpest steel. 
 'Tis I instruct and prompt the wrangling bar; 
 'Tis I forerun the miseries of war : 
 Yet sainted martyrs owe alone to me 
 Th* inspiring records of their constancy. 
 
 e 2 
 
40 
 
 friends, and friends I oft make l 
 I alike am true to tlu.se and those. 
 
 ! range, I, who can boast snch pow'r. 
 Am still dependant on the fleeting hour. 
 
 but more by use, declii, 
 My pow'rs (if ever 1 might call them mine) 
 
 i I nothing can perform — 
 ISo reason guides me, and no passions warm. 
 Till at the last, like merit scorn'd I lie, 
 Li some dark corner thrown neglected by ; 
 There lie and rot, as time and chance ag 
 To fix my lot, or date my destiny. 
 
 LXVI. 
 IF you join to five, six, with one eighth of eighteen, 
 You will know what in blockheads was never yet seen, 
 
 LXVII. 
 FROM an exalted youth my name I take, 
 
 • the difference 'twixt our shape and make. 
 forra'd like other men; 
 But • 1 never can attain : 
 
 For I've no legs, though oftentimes I move, 
 
 id many hundred miles from home I rove: 
 Nor have I always wings to aid my flight, 
 Though much by day I travel, and by night; 
 
 tho' I've sometimes wings, they give no speed, 
 lo they either much my course impede. 
 
41 
 
 My nature's stubborn ; for I never move 
 Without reluctance, or unless Fin drove. 
 In various hues Pm drest, as suits the fancy, 
 Sometimes to please Sir John, sometimes Miss Nancy, 
 ; But, ladies, pray be careful how you use me, 
 For should I be ill-used, I may abuse ye ; 
 Though if you use me with great care and skill. 
 Tis seldom that I disobey your will. 
 
 LXVIII. 
 
 I. 
 
 WITH youth and beauty blest, 
 From distant lands I came ; 
 
 Nor has the country been asham'd 
 To let me bear her name. 
 
 2. 
 No lady yet could ever boast 
 
 Complexion half so fine, 
 Though now my colour's black as those 
 
 That dig in the coal-mine. 
 
 3. 
 
 When I was young and fair, 
 
 A happy life was mine, 
 By a fond mistress was caress'd, 
 
 And in her suite did shine ; 
 e3 
 
But from the jilt pa advanc'd, 
 
 Aj I lkw thin and bid. 
 Tin- oaage thai I then receiv'd 
 You'll scarce believe when told. 
 
 5. 
 With iron pincers then she seiz'd 
 
 Upon my tender frame, 
 And fore'd me by consuming fire 
 
 To change my form and name. 
 
 6. 
 Within a dungeon, close and dark, 
 
 Unhappy I am thrown, 
 With villains, who have hearts as hard 
 
 As iron or of stone. 
 
 7. 
 Nor can I ever hope that they 
 
 Will mercy to me show, 
 When they do nothing else but give 
 
 Each other blow for blow. 
 
 8. 
 A hateful match, oh ! then she did 
 
 Most cruelly provide; 
 A circumstance I much desir'd 
 
 For evermore to hide. 
 
43 
 
 9. 
 Nor had 1 nam'd it, but I know 
 
 My fellow-pris'ners spite 
 Is such, that they would never rest 
 
 'Till I was brought to light. 
 
 LXIX. 
 
 WE are a score, nay something more, 
 
 Within a cave reside ; 
 Though we but seldom disagree, 
 
 We very oft divide. 
 
 If we fall out, it is a doubt 
 
 If e'er we meet again. 
 Both beau and belle our worth can tell, 
 
 Though oft we cause them pain. 
 
 In white array, the ladies gay 
 
 And sprightly, often show us. 
 
 From what is said, we are afraid, 
 You will too quickly know us. 
 
 LXX. 
 
 COME, seraphic Nine! from Pindus, 
 Swift as fancy's flight descend ! 
 
 Deign, blest virgins ! to befriend us, 
 And your melting numbers lend. 
 
44 
 
 In a plain, renow'd for beauty 
 
 As the fair Italian gr 
 Well we serve thee, sueh our dut) 
 
 Little, mighty, god of lo\ 
 
 Roses there, with blushes glowing, 
 
 In refulgent pride appear ; 
 There, with fairest lustre blowing, 
 
 Lilies flourish through the year, 
 
 *■ 
 
 Oft we melt with poignant anguish, 
 Sometimes glow with fury bright : 
 
 Now with tender passion languish, 
 Soon again express delight. 
 
 Though by nature's laws appointed 
 
 In our narrow sphere to move, 
 We, with nature's works acquainted, 
 it Saturn, Mars, or Jove. 
 
 Some will say, but don't believe them, 
 
 We in magic often deal: 
 Doctors find we may deceive them; 
 
 Wound too were they cannot heal. 
 
 Sylvia, now if you'll discover 
 
 What we are, and make us known, 
 
 In return, we'll show your lover 
 
 What you'd blush with shame to own. 
 
45 
 
 LXXI. 
 
 LADIES, I pray, my name declare; 
 
 For surely without me 
 You neither could be tall, nor fair, 
 
 Nor could you clearly see. 
 
 Graceful you never would be deem'd, 
 
 Nor amiable, nor smart ; 
 And tho' you might be much esteemed, 
 
 You'd never gain a heart. 
 
 To cards and dancing Pm a friend, 
 
 At balls I'm often one ; 
 And though ou vice I ne'er attend, 
 
 Virtue I always shun. 
 
 LXXII. 
 
 AS moon round-fac'd, complexion white, 
 That emulates her silver light; 
 No post I occupy, and yet 
 None can deny Pm of some weight. 
 Rich thougli I am, none call me proud, 
 Splendid sons vanity allow'd ; 
 Sometimes I help a church to build, 
 Or comfort to the wretched yield ; 
 Latin like Romish priest I speak, 
 But know no more of it than Greek. 
 From monarch's face ne'er shrink, or care 
 Though lions fierce attack my rear. 
 
46 
 
 Like Christian good, take up my cross, 
 And serve the country to my k 
 Prom foreign lands 1 hither came \ 
 And now, pray tell me, what's my name. 
 
 LXXI1I. 
 AT length, ye charming British fair, 
 Your humble servant's come t' appear 
 
 To pay you once a visit ; 
 Yuur enigmatic wit, no doubt, 
 Will quickly find the riddle out, 
 
 And show the world who is it. 
 
 First, in the bosom of the earth 
 
 A searching artist brought me forth, 
 
 And from my mother drew me : 
 CompellM I was to pass through fire, 
 Vulcanian tortures, cruel, dire, 
 
 Ere you, dear ladies, knew me. 
 
 My use and service are known well, 
 From peeress down to rustic Nell — 
 
 They all confess my worth. 
 I shield the fair from hourly harms, 
 Impede them daily from alarms, 
 
 And serve them from their birth. 
 
 A little serpent waits on me, 
 
 Who, keen o* the sport, is full of glee—* 
 
47 
 
 Pm oft compelled to kiss him : 
 But I though Holland send him tours, 
 Waft him through borders of fine flowers. 
 
 So quickly I dismiss him. 
 
 To industry I am a slave ; 
 But if my inside or concave 
 
 Is empty, useless lie : 
 Yet, when employ'd in public good, 
 Is fill'd with your dear flesh and blood — 
 
 Now, ladies, what am I ? 
 
 LXXIV. 
 
 IN places where mirth and good humour abound, 
 
 Who so welcome as I, or so commonly found ? 
 
 If I get among gamblers, I never am winner ; 
 
 Eat nothing, yet who can afford better dinner ? 
 
 At church of my privilege ne'er bate an ace ; 
 
 Not e'en to churchwarden or parson give place. 
 
 In verse or in prose, there are few who indite, 
 
 But to me they apply ere they venture to write. 
 
 In council I'm present, nor absent at tea, 
 
 Nymphs who're courted by all, come and pay court to me, 
 
 Then seek out my title, each spirited lover, 
 
 Who dares such a fav'rite rival discover : 
 
 If I move not on four, as I usually do, 
 
 You may find me on one leg, but never on two. 
 
48 
 
 LXXV. 
 
 LADIES, an humble servant see, 
 
 To whom you often bond the knee ; 
 
 But should I now attempt in verse, 
 
 My various merits to rehearse, 
 
 As, how I'm form'd, and what contain, 
 
 'T would be too much for my weak brain. 
 
 Suffice it then if I declare, 
 
 That much you trust unto my care ; 
 
 Nor was I ever thought unjust, 
 
 Or e'er betray'd this precious trust : 
 
 For though I in your chambers dwell, 
 
 What passes there I never tell. 
 
 By merchants too, my name is us'd, 
 
 Though often then I'm much abus'd. 
 
 And why ? because a distant friend 
 
 Will not accept of what I send : 
 
 Should I admit of any doubt, 
 
 A further hint I now throw out : 
 
 Reverse my name, and there remains 
 
 A just reward for all your pains. 
 
 LXXVI. 
 
 ALL hail! ye charming fair ! 
 
 Your enigmatic friend 
 Entreats that you'll declare 
 
 On what these lines are penn'd. 
 
49 
 
 My origin's not great, 
 
 My gravitation small, 
 My only useful state 
 
 Confinement I may call. 
 
 Sometimes I prove more strong 
 Than what surrounds my frame, 
 
 That in destruction's throng 
 Obtains its future fame* 
 
 By rich ones I am drawn 
 From prison without grate, 
 
 Who afterwards with scorn 
 Despise my useless state. 
 
 The vanity-struck fair 
 Convert my conic form, 
 
 And late have brought to bear 
 That I should them adorn. 
 
 Instead of being crown'd 
 With silver, plate, and ring, 
 
 My body they surround 
 With robes fit for a king. 
 
 Both rich and poor I serve, 
 To none my use deny ; 
 
 F 
 
Your favours I d< 
 
 Fair ladies, what am J I 
 
 LXXVII. 
 I HAVE two bodies to your view display'*), 
 
 Both of one substance uniformly made; 
 Alike in form, with one food only fed, 
 Nor does that food consist of meat or bread : 
 When once united, they are both supply'd 
 With food which lasts until they are destroy 'd : 
 When one has much, the other's share is small; 
 Sometimes have both alike — alternate none at all- 
 Like govern'd states, have many ups and downs; 
 But mostly stand unmov'd when midnight frowns 
 Like desperate thieves their bodies are confin'd ; 
 No pain they feel, or pain they do not mind. 
 They oft tell lies, although they have no tongue ; 
 But then the fault's not theirs when they are wrong. 
 What they do tell should be by all much prized ; 
 Instead of that, by most it is despis'd. 
 Whene'er their mov'd by man's superior pow'r, 
 Thousands, unnumber'd, fall within an hour. 
 
 LXXVIII. 
 THOUGH now I step in princely habit forth. 
 To poverty and rags I owe my birth : 
 
51 
 
 Of innocence the emblem I remained, 
 'Till man's vile art my native beauty stain'd. 
 Now, in revenge, the talents I receive, 
 'Gainst him I turn, and flatter and deceive. 
 With prudence us'd, the world may bless my pow'r ; 
 Spleen I prevent, and gild the social hour : 
 But when my votaries, without this care, "") 
 
 With me engage, retire, ye gentle fair; > 
 
 Mild joys give place to rage and fell despair. J 
 
 I neither smell, nor taste, nor hear, nor see ; 1 
 
 Of neither sex, yet either seem to be; /* 
 
 And men and maids profess their love for me : J 
 
 Nay, widows too a fond attachment own, 
 Hoping sweet solace for dear husbancj gone. 
 Possess'd you'll find me of the wanton's wiles, 
 Her patches, paint, and heart beguiling smiles : 
 My lovers now I raise, and now depress ; 
 Now kill with frowns, and now with favour bless. 
 Strange though it be, and passing strange, yet more, 
 The poor I oft make rich, the rich make poor. 
 Attire of various kinds and sorts I wear, 
 And this fantastic garb through all the year : 
 Yet though so oddly drest, admission find 
 Among the gayest circles of mankind. 
 But strange caprice ! wherever seen before, 
 So fashion rules, I find access no more. 
 f 2 
 
52 
 
 LXX1X. 
 FROM the dark and dismal cell, 
 Where subterranean beings dwell, 
 To towns and cities was I brought, 
 And rules of civil life was taught. 
 In palaces I oft reside, 
 And dwell among the sons of pride ; 
 Address the great, the rich I fear not, 
 And cringe to those for whom I care not. 
 Balls and assemblies I frequent, 
 And to the ladies I present 
 The courtly bow and compliment. 
 Thus I attain'd to lofty station, 
 High above all men in the nation; 
 And of all subjects, I alone 
 Dare to take place above the crown. 
 But, good, as well as great, I shed 
 Comfort and joy on each man's head : 
 The poor as well as rich 1 warm, 
 And guard and keep them safe from harm. 
 But such the fickleness of fate, 
 Such the false faith of man ingrate, 
 I am despis'd when I am old, 
 And perish in the rain and cold. 
 Doom'd by those ills my life to end, 
 From which I others did defend. 
 
 i 
 
63 
 
 LXXX. 
 
 Addressed to a Lady. 
 NOW you that love riddles, and guess them so well. 
 Pray tell who I am, for I know you can tell. 
 I was born before Adam, I should say the fall ; 
 For Adam, you know, ma'am, was not born at all ; 
 And can tell if the fruit was an apple or pear; 
 For, unless 'twere the devil, I only was there : 
 So mysteries, you find, are to me as well known as 
 Toother great conjurers, Breslaw or Jonas. 
 My mother's a maid, my grandmother's the same, 
 And so you would say, did I tell you my name. 
 My father's my mother ; and, now I've begun, 
 I will tell you still further, my daughter's my son. 
 I refus'd a good place of five thousand a year, 
 My conscience, forsooth, whisper'd that in my ear* 
 Now as to my person, I'm ten feet in height ; 
 And as to my bulk, am ten ton in weight ; 
 Am as ugly as Satan, and give him his due, 
 Though it oft has been said I'm as handsome as you. 
 
 LXXXI. 
 
 NO legs, no arms, no wings, have I; 
 Yet through the air I swiftly fly. 
 I cannot boast a graceful form ; 
 And dress less elegant than warm. 
 I own the soft poetic line, 
 And sweet love tales are often mine. 
 
 F 3 
 
54 
 
 I'm shallow oft, and oft profound : 
 
 Heavy and dull I'm frequent found; 
 
 Yet oft with wit and sense abound. 
 
 Of Europe I have made the tour, 
 
 And often visit Asia's shore; 
 
 I in America have been, 
 
 And Africa my form has seen. 
 
 The prince, the pedlar, mistress, maid, 
 
 Derive advantage from my aid. 
 
 Form'd ages since, yet made to-day, 
 
 Pm hourly subject to decay. 
 
 When winds blow hard, and showers fall, 
 
 Expos'd, I patiently bear all : 
 
 Yet are my sufferings hence so great, 
 
 They always expedite my fate. 
 
 To father Time, and mother Earth, 
 
 I am indebted for my birth; 
 
 And when my father's mandates come, 
 
 That I shall meet the gen'ral doom, 
 
 I, quietly to fate resigned, 
 
 Am to my mother's arms consign'd ; 
 
 And from our union often springs 
 
 What wealth and fame to Albion brings. M. 
 
 lxxxii. 
 
 MY original birth 
 
 Is derived from the earth, 
 
55 
 
 But my form is constructed by man ; 
 The return of each day 
 Sees my birth and decay ; 
 
 My limits are mark'd by a span. 
 
 No existence I have, 
 Yet life I can save ; 
 
 I'm compar'd to the pilgrim's support : 
 Not long found at home, 
 With companions I roam 
 
 To places of pleasant resort. 
 
 I keep early hours, 
 For the superior powers 
 
 Think my rising determines my worth. 
 But, may be, that thought 
 From Gallia was brought, 
 
 Whence most date my ancestors' birth. 
 
 My virtue is prov'd, 
 To those by whom lov'd, 
 
 In passing a fiery ordeal ; 
 If I don't stand the test, 
 I'm never carest ; 
 
 If I do, then my value's deem/d real, 
 
 Universally sought, 
 Tho' not worth a groat ; 
 
56 
 
 The taste of all parties I please; 
 Yet my plural makes clear, 
 What strange will appear, 
 
 The wise miss, blockheads win me with ease. 
 
 When to you I am known, 
 You'll certainly own 
 
 The learned oft seek me in vain; 
 While each knave, fool, or clown, 
 That disgraces the town, 
 
 May always my service obtain. M. 
 
 LXXXIII. 
 
 IN Moses' time there lived one, 
 
 As Scripture will declare, 
 Who spoke, and ever spoke the truth, 
 
 Which plainly will appear. 
 
 He liv'd on earth, and did not sin, 
 Guiltless he liv'd and dy'd; 
 
 And all his actions were most just, 
 And to be justified. 
 
 Yet for all this, 'tis sure in heav'n 
 He ne'er shall find a place, 
 
 Nor any of his ancestors, 
 Nor yet his future race. 
 
o? 
 
 LXXXIV. 
 
 O'ER all the world my empire I extend ; 
 And while that lasts, my reign can never end. 
 I flatter all, and almost all deceive ; 
 Yet when I promise next, they still believe. 
 To heav'n I lead, but must not enter there : 
 In hell I cannot be ; earth is my sphere. 
 If still in vain you puzzle for my name, 
 Search your own breast, for there I surely am. 
 
 LXXXV. 
 
 THO* but small my size and figure, 
 
 Yet I am in general use : 
 To ev'ry blessing I contribute, 
 
 To all happiness conduce. 
 
 No delight exists without me; 
 
 I attend each beau and belle, 
 Also grace the shepherd's cottage, 
 
 And the hermit's lonely cell. 
 
 From our gracious king I'm banish'd, 
 In his court Pm never seen ; 
 
 But I with redoubled duty 
 Daily wait upon the queen. 
 
 I belong to men of learning, 
 
 Dwell with genius, taste, and sense , 
 
58 
 
 Vet to ev'ry simple blockhead 
 I my friendly aid dispense. 
 
 I promote the noblest feelings, 
 And from virtue ne'er remove. 
 
 I was never in a passion : 
 But I always am in love. 
 
 I partake of each amusement, 
 And of pleasure have my share; 
 
 Yet am oft observM in trouble. 
 And can never fly from care. 
 
 Stranger to malicious bosoms, 
 
 Gentle breasts my influence find ; 
 
 Yet tho' in your hearts you place me, 
 1 am never in your mind. 
 
 I am ever in amazement, 
 
 Deal in wonder and surprise; 
 
 Never in your sight appearing, 
 Yet Fin here before your eyes. 
 
 LXXXVI. 
 
 FM a cold, insipid creature, 
 And to feeling have no claim; 
 
 Yet to soft impressions yielding, 
 Warm'd by a resistless flame. 
 
59 
 
 Changing then my shape and features, 
 
 Different faces I display, 
 Under various forms appearing, 
 
 Fancy's dictates I obey. 
 
 Sometimes deck'd with princely honours 
 
 Crowns and coronets I wear ; 
 Sometimes grae'd with holy mitres ; 
 
 Yet full often arms I bear. 
 
 Tho' my words are few in number, 
 They're with sentiment replete : 
 
 Oft in philosophic language 
 Moral lessons I repeat. 
 
 I assist in marriage contracts, 
 
 When all parties are agreed, 
 Ne'er my friendly aid refusing, 
 
 Useful both in will and deed. 
 
 LXXXVIL 
 
 WITH monks and with hermits I chiefly reside, 
 From camps and from courts at a distance : 
 
 The ladies, some say, can't my presence abide, 
 But to banish me join their assistance. 
 
 I seldom can flatter, tho' oft show respect 
 To the patriot, the preacher, the peer : 
 
60 
 
 But sometimes, alas ! — a sad mark of neglect — 
 I'm a proof of contempt and a sneer. 
 
 I once, as the chief of our ports record, 
 Was pleasM with the nightingale's song; 
 
 Yet, such my strange taste, 1 leave lady and lord, 
 And oft wander with thieves all night long. 
 
 By the couch of the sick I am frequently found ; 
 
 And I always attend on the dead ; 
 With patient affection I sit on the ground ; 
 
 But when talk'd of, 'tis found I am fled. 
 
 LXXXVIIL 
 
 TO various things I owe by birth, 
 
 And liv'd in earliest times on earth. 
 
 When wand'ring Eve return'd to Adam, 
 
 T first appear 'd to guilty madam ; 
 
 And she, poor soul, with small delight 
 
 Beheld the strange, unusual sight : 
 
 For know I have a pretty sister, 
 
 And Eve till then had never mist her. 
 
 For we — 'tis very odd you'll say — 
 
 Together can't agree to stay ; 
 
 When she appears, I fly away ; \ 
 
 Together never once were seen, 
 
 Though oft in the same place have been 
 
 I 
 
61 
 
 But as above all price she's rated, 
 By all that see me I am hated. 
 J\ow if you show so little wit 
 As neither of our names to hit, 
 Oh ! may you ne'er my sister see, 
 But ever, ever meet with me. 
 
 LXXXIX. 
 
 IN subterraneous caverns, dark and deep, 
 
 Where night and silence constant vigils keep, 
 
 A creature, neither male nor female's found, 
 
 Which, strange to tell, is oft in wedlock bound ; 
 
 Produces young ; well known to all mankind ; 
 
 Us'd by the young and old, e'en by the blind : 
 
 Cold to the touch, insensible of pain, 
 
 Decays with age, and then grows young again. 
 
 'Tis forniM without a soul ; yet man can give* 
 
 A virtue bright, by which 'twill seem to live. 
 
 It never yet could hear, speak, think, or know ; 
 
 Yet by its mute directions thousands go. 
 
 Fair ladies oft delighted to it sing ; 
 
 And oft for using it the thoughtless swing. 
 
 Swift messengers it often sends abroad, 
 
 And streaming blood too often marks the road. 
 
 Infinite good to man from it has sprung, 
 
 And arts and commerce long its praise has sung. 
 
 G 
 
62 
 xc. 
 
 WE are fresh, young and fair, 
 
 And twins, you may swear; 
 For never did sisters agree, 
 
 Since the world did begin, 
 
 In shape, size, and mien, 
 In features and fortunes, as we. 
 
 To give us our due, 
 
 We've been constant and true, 
 Thro' all chances and changes of weather . 
 
 Many dangers we've past, 
 
 Tho' now parted at last, 
 To maintain no more commerce together. 
 
 Both alike to be seen, 
 
 With our backs dress'd in green ; 
 On two opposite plains we abide, 
 
 As close pris'ners confin'd, 
 
 While the gay feather'd kind 
 Fly round us on ev'ry side. 
 
 As they fly though the air, 
 
 By the mirth they make there, 
 You'd suppose they no mischief intend us; 
 
 But to our great surprise, 
 
 They all peck at our eyes; 
 And we have but one couple between us — 
 
63 
 
 — Tho' for these we've a guard, 
 
 Yet our fate is so hard, 
 That our beauty can mak e no resistance ; 
 
 And the wounds they leave there 
 
 In our faces appear, 
 Like the spots in the moon at a distance. 
 
 But what we can't cure, 
 
 We with patience endure • 
 And we'll keep you no more in the dark ; 
 
 For by this borrow'd light, 
 
 You'll take your aim right, 
 And, fair ladies, you can't miss your mark. 
 
 XCI. 
 
 WHEN tempests deform the smooth face of the sky, 
 All winter neglected and naked I lie ; 
 But as soon as approaches the beautiful May, 
 When the fields and the meadows and nature looks gay; 
 'Tis then I step forth, a-la-mode like the fair, 
 With my long silken train, and all plaited my hair. 
 When thus I'm adorn'd, and drest in my fly, 
 O ! ye gods ! what a beautiful creature am I. 
 Of an object so striking, ye gazers, beware ; 
 Come not within reach of so fatal a snare; 
 For with malice prepense, and a desperate will, 
 I'm bent to destroy, and determin'd to kill, 
 s 2 
 
64 
 
 xcn. 
 
 TY'D to conditions hard and close immur'd, 
 ids and various shifts inur'd ; 
 ir reclltae, the busy world 1 shun, 
 Seldom like j Fair, by man undone. 
 
 Interiors spurn, superiors me oppress; 
 I bear it all, not subject to redress. 
 In open day-light hardly e'er remain, 
 Just peep abroad, and hide myself again : 
 Fretted with hyp, in state dependant plac'd. 
 In gloomy station ever bound to waste. 
 
 XCIII. 
 
 IN a room big enough to work, or to play, 
 
 A carpet was spread o'er a parcel of hay ; 
 
 And of neat country dancers twelve couple went on it. 
 
 Now perhaps you expect both a jig and a sonnet ; 
 
 But, alas I among these there was none to be seen 
 
 That could whistle " Mull Musk/' or " the Sweet In 
 
 dian Queen." 
 
 Near these, a great group of smart lads in their natures, 
 Stood like so many posts or indifferent spectators : 
 And no wonder that none of them join'd in the jig, 
 For, it seems, they were ev'ry one ty'd by the leg : 
 1 no wonder that none of the former could sing, 
 For they ev'ry one danc'd with their neck in a string. 
 
65 
 
 XCIV. 
 
 AN ingenious workman once made a spit, 
 
 Five hundred turkeys were roasted on it, 
 
 All well roasted, and all at one time, 
 
 All very fat, and just in their prime : 
 
 But here comes the wonder ; for, what do you think, 
 
 All our roast meat at once was turn'd into drink. 
 
 xcv. 
 
 'TIS you, fair ladies, I address, 
 
 Sent to adorn your life ; 
 And she that first my name can guess, 
 
 Shall first be made a wife. 
 
 From the dark womb of mother earth 
 
 To mortals' aid I come ; 
 But ere I can receive my birth, 
 
 I many shapes assume. 
 
 Inspired by nature, I am made 
 
 As active as the roe : 
 And oftentimes, with equal speed, 
 
 Thro' flow'ry lawns I go. 
 
 When wicked men their wealth consume, 
 And leave their children poor, 
 
 To me their daughters often come, 
 And I increase their store. 
 g3 
 
66 
 
 men of ti. kind 
 
 Have never v< t refund me ; 
 1 yet I never ooce could find 
 That maids of honour us'd me. 
 
 The lilj hand, the brilliant ey 
 
 May charm without my aid ; 
 Beauty may prompt theJover's sigh, 
 
 And celebrate the maid : 
 
 15ut let th' enchanting maid be told, 
 
 Unless I grace her life, 
 She must have wondrous store of gold, 
 
 Or make a wretched wife. 
 
 Although I never hope for rest, 
 
 With Christians I go forth ; 
 And while they worship tow'rds the east, 
 
 I prostrate tow'rds the north. 
 
 If you suspect hypocrisy, 
 
 Or think me insincere, 
 Produce the zealot who, like me, 
 
 Can tremble and adhere. 
 
 XCVI. 
 WHEN first the world from chaos sprung, 
 And man his great Creator sung, 
 
67 
 
 xrtcr earth's green bosom teenrd with fruit, 
 
 Each native appetite to suit ; 
 
 Tho' bow'd beneath its load the vine, 
 
 And flow'd the bowl with gen'rous w T ine ; 
 
 Tho' beauty, harmony, and love 
 
 DeclarM the system from above : — 
 
 The glorious plan w r as incomplete, 
 
 And mortals wanted, something yet. 
 
 I came — that something was supply'd : 
 
 I snatch/d the wreath from cloister'd pride ; 
 
 Bade knowledge ope her ample store, 
 
 And waft her sweets from shore to shore: 
 
 The poet's rudely warbl'd lay 
 
 I temper'd with my heav'nly ray ; 
 
 From monkish cell fair science drew, 
 
 And taught mankind whate'er she knew : 
 
 Religion too, divinest maid, 
 
 Had now her real charms displayed ; 
 
 Not as by superstition drawn, 
 
 With rack and fire, and tear and groan ; 
 
 But mildest mercy in her face 
 
 For all the virtuous human race : 
 
 Nor are my precepts singly told, 
 
 But multiply'd ten thousand fold ; 
 
 To ev'ry party, sect, and age, 
 
 I mark what whilom did engage : 
 
 The fond pursuits of heroes, kings, 
 
 Of cities sack'd, and other things, 
 
I 
 
 Which ne'er without mo would be known, 
 13ut into drear oblivion thrown. 
 
 \rvil. 
 
 I AM, (for the rhyme's sake) dear madarn, 
 Almost not quite so old as Adam, 
 And among mortals shall be found 
 Long as the merry world goes round ; 
 But heav'n to me will be deny'd, 
 Though virtue were herself my guide 
 To full maturity I grew; 
 But infancy I never knew. 
 I'm call'd a master, yet I have 
 Full oft the doom to be a slave ; 
 Nor honours do myself receive, 
 Altho' all honours I can give. 
 Ladies' good names I from them steal, 
 And so, belike, in scandal deal; 
 Yet Fm no friend, 1 think, to railing, 
 But often hide a sinner's failing. 
 Whene'er I marry, 'tis for life ; 
 1 never yet surviv'd my wife. 
 
 xcviir. 
 
 WHEN first Columbus left his native shore, 
 In search of worlds to us unknown before, 
 With him I went ; and first of all the crew, 
 With pleasure did the charming prospect view. 
 
69 
 
 When he return'd, I too return'd again, 
 Yet never was within the realms of Spain. 
 Tho' in all countries, in all climes Pve been.. 
 Yet in fair Europe never was I seen. 
 The beauteous nymph I never do befriend, 
 Tho' on their charms I constantly attend. 
 At court and cabinet I bear great sway — 
 Now what I am, ingenious ladies, say. 
 
 XCIX. 
 
 TO five compositors 1 owe my frame ; 
 And, what is singular, when viewed, my name 
 Forwards and backwards will be found the same 
 When Pm discover'd, you will plainly see 
 What the proud peer and peasant soon will be 
 
 C. 
 
 MY face is smooth and wondrous bright. 
 Which mostly I keep out of sight 
 Within my house ; how that is made 
 Shall with much brevity be said : 
 Compos'd with timber and with skin, 
 Cover'd with blankets warm within: 
 Here I lie snug, unless in anger, 
 I look out sharp, suspecting danger; 
 For Pm a blade of mighty wrath, 
 Whene'er provok'd, I sally forth ; 
 
 j 
 
70 
 
 Yet quarrels frequently decide; 
 
 But ne'er am know to change my side. 
 
 Tho 1 e'er bo much our parties vary, 
 
 In all disputo my point I carry. 
 
 Thousands by me are daily fed, 
 
 As many laid among the dead. 
 
 I travel into foreign parts; 
 
 But not in coach conveyed, or carts. 
 
 Ladies, for you I often war, 
 
 Then in return my name declare. 
 
 CI. 
 SPRUNG from the noblest, meanest race, 
 I being boast in ev'ry place — 
 Newcastle, Chester, London, Dover, 
 In short, the universe all over. 
 Exalted likewise is my station, 
 Fm look'd up to by all the nation. 
 Not Proteus' self had half my shapes; 
 A lion's here, and there an ape's: 
 A king sometimes I am, and throw 
 My smiles on little folks below; 
 Sometimes his consort queen I stand, 
 With flaming sceptre in my hand. 
 Fir'd with the fury of the war, 
 I now ascend Be Nona's car, 
 As Rodney or as Elliot ride, 
 With ship or cannon by my side : 
 
71 
 
 Or, mounted on the horse poetic, 
 
 Defiance dart at ev'ry critic, 
 
 In form of Shakespeare, Johnson, Pope, 
 
 Who surely never had a hope 
 
 This nether world again to rhyme in, 
 
 Or give their quills another priming. 
 
 A coach and six sometimes I run ; 
 
 At others, glow a golden sun. 
 
 Descending thence, I seek the cot 
 
 Of tinker grim, and rise a pot: 
 
 Or, friendly to the cobbler's new.?. 
 
 I stand confest a pair of shoes. 
 
 I mark a friendly invitation 
 
 To ev'ry being in the nation. 
 
 Say, reader, whence I really came., 
 
 And give my motley form a name, 
 
 CII. 
 
 LET matchless Pindar still invoke the Nine, 
 Whose lofty strains in stately numbers shine : 
 Let laureat bards attune their annual lays, 
 To him whose merits claim their warmest praise. 
 The task be mine, dear ladies, to unfold 
 What's better far, and dearer too, than gold. 
 Without my aid the pastor could not preach; 
 Without my aid the tutor could not teach; 
 Without my aid the poet could not write; 
 Without my aid the hero could not fight; 
 
life is lost : 
 
 le love-sick swain, J 
 
 •oseate chain : V 
 
 espair's keen pain. \ 
 
 Without my aid the plodder could not soWj 
 Without my aid the rustic could not mow ; 
 Without my aid the miser could not hoard 
 
 • altry pelf, with which his cotter's stor'd : 
 The soldier brave, upon the hostile plain, 
 For want of me to quell his foes, is slain ; 
 The sailor bold, when on the ocean tost, 
 For want of me to save his life is lost : 
 The faithful fair one, and the 
 Oft wish for me to fix the roseate 
 When I refuse, they feel dc^ 
 Part of mankind salute me with respect ; 
 Part of mankind pass by me with neglect; 
 
 mark, while those are recompensM with gain, 
 Lehold here these are punish'd for disdain. 
 Then fair ones mind, unto these hints attend, 
 And when you find me, treat me as a friend. 
 
 (III. 
 YE learned fair, when first I had my birth 
 I cannot say — but know I sprung from earth. 
 rm'd — Oh ! how shall I disclose 
 The dreadful tale, big with my future woes? 
 I am compell'd tho' scorching flames to go, 
 tdrechj Meshach, and Abednego. 
 gold by fire is purged from the dro 
 It gains new beauty and a brighter gloss — 
 
73 
 
 So I, when 'scaped from my curs'd retreat, 
 
 Appear unspotted 'mongst the poor and great; 
 
 But know, alas ! and 1 the truth declare, 
 
 I'm ne'er permitted to attend the fair; 
 
 Unless some threatening ills destroy their bliss, 
 
 Then from the maid I steal a balmy kiss ; 
 
 But, as if envious of her fragrant breath, 
 
 I make it noisome as the house of death. 
 
 As burning Etna and Vesuvius roars, 
 
 And cloud the skies ere they emit their stores, 
 
 So when my breath bedims the face of day, 
 
 Consuming fires upon my vitals prey, 
 
 Which in short time thro* my fair body runs, 
 
 And makes me black as Afric's sooty sons ; 
 
 Then once again Pm plunged thro' the flame, 
 
 Which for a while restores my former fame. 
 
 But oh ! ye fair, when age makes beauty fail, 
 
 Short is the time that we with art prevail ; 
 
 For like your charms mine quickly will decay, 
 
 And soon or late I meet my kindred clay. 
 
 Then, then, ye fair, my worth and splendor** o'er- 
 
 For when I fall, I fall to rise no more. 
 
 CIV. 
 
 MEN to the specious sacrifice, 
 The real disregard ; 
 
 f 
 
h glittering toy attracts their eyes, 
 And gains a false reward. 
 
 But is there none whose mental sight 
 Can dissipate the shade, 
 
 error's mist induce the light, 
 And leave the trifler's trade ? 
 
 Yes ! some there are, and these will own 
 How bright my merit shines ; 
 
 In wisdom's eyes I'm purer shown 
 Than all Golconda's mines. 
 
 By me extended commerce reigns, 
 And rolls from shore to shore, 
 
 My spirit unappalM remains 
 When the loud tempests roar. 
 
 Relying on my friendly aid, 
 
 The sailor feels no pain, 
 When clouds the blue expanse o'erspread, 
 
 And suns arise in vain. 
 
 Yet small my form, and low my birth, 
 
 No gaudy tints I show ; 
 Drawn from my fruitful mother earth, 
 
 Thro* purging firesj go. 
 
 i 
 
15 
 
 Then subject to another's will, 
 Who ties my marriage chain, 
 
 The vows of wedlock I fulfil, 
 And ever true remain. 
 
 CV. 
 
 I AM myself a perfect whole, 
 
 Although I am but half; 
 I bear of mighty names the scroll, 
 
 A sort of cenotaph. 
 
 I am both sexes, past dispute, 
 
 And still I am of neither ; 
 But am, tho* not in vast rep 
 
 Companion fit for either. 
 
 As many heads as hands have I, 
 And what may more surprise, 
 
 No smell, teeth, sight, I have, yet why I 
 I've noses, lips, and eyes. 
 
 Tho* hero bold, and goddess free, 
 
 I am held cheap and vile, 
 Some beg to have me piteously, 
 
 Yet have me all the while. 
 
 Altho' a hero, void of crime, 
 I ne'er was known to quarrej, 
 a 2 
 
1 ne'er could fight, OT sing, or rhyOM 
 Vet ever wear the laurel. 
 
 CVL 
 YOUN(» ladies now give ear,, J pn 
 
 To one the most forlorn ; 
 Tor share my hapless fate you may, 
 
 Ami grieve thnt you were born. 
 
 Your lovely image I've displayed, 
 
 Possest of life and breath ; 
 I'm flesh and blood, tho' always made 
 
 By the rude hand of death. 
 
 Now to conclude my mournful Jay, 
 
 Of mortal fame am I, 
 And feel the pangs of death I may, 
 
 Though some of us ne'er die. 
 
 era 
 
 I CHRJER tfie righteous, and the villain sting. 
 Can teach a peasant, or instruct a king; 
 I rnak <>f straw appear like down, 
 
 And plant the thorns of terror in a crown. 
 I sleep, start, wake, or terrify, or sport 
 In city, village, cottage, camp, or court; 
 In darkness hid, I oft bring things to light; 
 Correct the bad, and set the doubtful right. 
 
77 
 
 Tho' indivisible, to one place fixt, 
 
 Am split, divided, varied, twisted, mixt : 
 
 Bestowing blessings, or dispensing curses, 
 
 I sometimes fill, and sometimes empty purses. 
 
 I hold unconquer'd governmental reins 
 
 In Lapland's snows, and Lybia's burning plains ; 
 
 Preside in Zembla six months, day and night, 
 
 And rule in realms blest with diurnal light. 
 
 Whoe'er from me their due allegiance draw, 
 
 Defy terrestrial and celestial law. 
 
 But those who hail me as their iawful queen, 
 
 Sail through life's voyage with a gale serene. 
 
 Study to find me out, that done, caress me; 
 
 For happy they who quietly possess me. 
 
 CVIII. 
 
 A coufle, dear ladies, approach you with fear, 
 
 In your presence, most humbly, theybeg to appear; 
 
 Such a pair, gentle fair ones, you seldom have seen, 
 
 For since their formation at strife they have been. 
 
 No man ever treated a poor woman so ; 
 
 No termagant e'er caus'd her husband more woe. 
 
 Sometimes you would think he had slain her outright, 
 
 Yet ere you're aware she is first in the fight ; 
 
 And whene'er he advances to seize on his prey, 
 
 As quickly she tears one half of it away : 
 
 But all her endeavours are fruitless and vain, 
 
 For in spite of her teeth he still gets them again ; 
 
 H 3 
 
78 
 
 Tho' many their quarrels, and frequent their strife, 
 ^n as they're parted they're useless for life. 
 ►Ugh has been said, every woman he wise, 
 And from such dissensions learn strife to despise. 
 
 (IX. 
 THOSE who to distant regions roam, 
 Bring me and many brethren home : 
 Same a resemblance think they trace, 
 
 Of ugly monkeys in my face. 
 But tho* no outward charms I claim, 
 Pve some pretensions still to fame ; 
 At least with those who value place 
 In worth, and not in outward grace. 
 I'm small and hard, but yet supply- 
 Food when you're hungry, drink when dry g 
 And often have been known to sa\e 
 The wanderer from untimely grave. 
 To my assistance you might owe 
 In winter, summer's grateful glow ; 
 If wine or ale you wish to sip, 
 I can convey it to your lip : 
 And tho' Pve said my native shape 
 No beauty boasts, art which can ape 
 All forms, full oft bestows on me 
 What parrel a source of vanity. 
 Tho' Pve no legs, art makes me stand, 
 And shine amidst a brilliant band. 
 
79 
 
 Then ornaments my feet surround, 
 
 My head's with burnish'd silver crown'd ; 
 
 My former roughness yields its place 
 
 To polish, elegance, and grace. 
 
 Enough I've said to prove my claim 
 
 Not groundless, to some share of fame ; 
 
 And truth Pve spoken as you'll own, 
 
 When your discovery makes me known. M. 
 
 CX. 
 ENIGMATISTS try their skill, 
 How to bring me to their will, 
 Likewise farmers, tinkers, taylors, 
 Chimney-sweeps, and hardy sailors, 
 Strive alike with hearty zeal 
 My sweet influence to feel. 
 If til 'd with work, beside yon stream 
 You chance to rest in airy dream, 
 Relieved from toil, you hope that I 
 Amusement will for you supply. 
 Virtue 'tis said I oft destroy, 
 But beggars reckon me chief joy. 
 Gallant soldiers for me fight, 
 Secretaries for me write ; 
 Kings from me their comfort draw, 
 And knaves for me submit to law. 
 
80 
 
 Almighty chieftain vice am I, 
 AdorM by most, t ho' all deny 
 ih it they with me have* aught to do; 
 But tin- assertion's .seldom true. 
 
 fairs mi- u the devil, 
 ; oA on her bring evil ; 
 But la I must all confess, 
 
 I'm generally your patroness. 
 
 CXI. 
 
 AS their worth to proclaim ev'ry mortal is proi. 
 'lis but natural the wish to make my merits known; 
 When they all are related few folks will pretend, 
 Their value superior, with me to contend. 
 The world being pleasM to place virtue in birth, 
 By that 1 shall first plead pretensions to worth : 
 That 'tis ancient, by records most sacred is shown, 
 If consulted they'll prove I ere Adam was known, 
 That employ'd by the sovereign dispenser of good, 
 I assign M the first couple their dwelling and food. 
 My pedigree prov'd, I shall next make my claim 
 To properties better entitled to fame. 
 Widsom, learning and wit, virtue, piety, grace, 
 All excellence known to mankind you may trace 
 In my numerous characters, published by those 
 
 o in showing my value their own worth disclose. 
 
81 
 
 Strong judgment, with genius — assemblage so prais'd 
 
 For its scarceness — I boast, to this fame I was rais'd 
 
 By the verdict of Melmoth*, of Cowper, and Knox, 
 
 And for this also own myself debtor to Fox; 
 
 To prove I am grateful, their names Fll enroll 
 
 On the place most conspicuous of Fame's sacred scroll. 
 
 Rousseau says in use the best merit is founded ; 
 
 My value, if so, I can prove is well grounded, 
 
 For 'tis granted, the greatest advantage man knows 
 
 My pow'r universal as precious bestows : 
 
 It communicates all that existence endears, 
 
 Speeds sweet sympathy's efforts to dry sorrow's tears, 
 
 Gives wealth, fame, and honours, and oft has been 
 
 found 
 O'er life to preside ; then 'twill surely be own'd 
 That my ttse, value, pow'r, all for which I've claim'd 
 
 praise, 
 Above their true standard no plaudits can raise. 
 But though much is here said, my vast worth to unfold, 
 You may credit me half of my merit's untold; 
 Yet if all my value I have not reveal'd, 
 I must own that my errors are also conceal'd ; 
 What a wretch would you deem me, if once they were 
 
 told! 
 hen you found I could swear, lie, rave, quarrel, and 
 
 scold : 
 
 * The author of Fitz-Osbornc's Letters, &c. &<j. 
 
tploymeu 
 
 commands on lair virtue reflect. 
 
 From the boson) i II v tear 
 
 blossODQ , and plant thorns of despau 
 
 That I bring ahno>t e\ 'ry disaster on man, 
 And oppose, with malignity, wisdom's best plan. 
 Yet I hope, when 'tis known that in this I'm abus'd, 
 And compell'd thus to act, I shall then be excus'd; 
 For 'tis certain my nature ne'er leads me to ill, 
 When I err, 'tis in yielding to other folks' will. 
 Like poor seamen I into the service am prest, 
 And commanded to fight, tho' I'm minded to rest. 
 Now candidly balance my virtues and errors, 
 And tho' what is thought of me oft causes terrors, 
 In my favour I think you will pass the decree, 
 And that merit's predominant all will agree. 
 In fact I am not much afraid you should scout me, 
 Tho' sometimes perversely determined to flout me — J 
 Because, 'tis w r ell known, you cannot do without me. 
 
 M. 
 
 CXII. 
 
 AS to pow'r 'tis the rage, that all folks bend the knee. 
 'Tis much wonder more homage is not paid to me, 
 For tho' much I possess, oh, caprice of mankind ! 
 I oft laughter create, but respect never find. 
 To prove these pretensions to power well founded, 
 I now shall inform you on what they are grounded : 
 
83 
 
 You'll then certainly grant, no man in the natioa 
 
 Can boast half so much, whatever his station ; 
 
 And lest you should think that pow'r super-human, 
 
 I specify first, I was born of a woman ; 
 
 I laugh'd, cry'd, and eat pap, as most other brats do, 
 
 And from childhood to manhood, as other folks, grew. 
 
 Now, tho' strange, it is true, that throughout my whole 
 
 race, 
 No female was ever yet known to have place. 
 As we're generally silent, the wits may suppose 
 That's the cause whence this strange taciturnity flows. 
 Be that as it may, tho' our tongues rarely move, 
 In motion our limbs no deficiency prove. 
 Of words we've small need, since a wish will produce 
 Whatever we want or require for our use. 
 If town for the country we'd willingly change. 
 Midst groves, woods, and lawns in a minute we range; 
 And thousands have witnessed this truth I unfold, 
 That the seasons have e'en by my will been con- 
 trols : 
 While summer was showing the charms of her face, 
 At my mandate she yielded to winter her place. 
 Not only to this point my influence extended, 
 The gay spring of youth at that moment was ended, 
 Sweet damsels who danc'd with her swains on the green, 
 As old as their grannams were presently seen. 
 And what's stranger than even this pow'r over youth, 
 'Gainst his nature, a liar I've made speak the truth. 
 
84 
 
 But, if thro' the whole course of my woNders I run, 
 You'll bo apt to exclaim, u Will he never have doner" 
 In a few further lines then my hints I'll compn 
 Who I am they will probably lead you to guess. 
 I've declar'd that no female among us is found, 
 Yet in their soft fetters we ever are bound ; 
 To their empire we yield, and liege subjects we prove, 
 For we always are faithful, and always in love. 
 As to London, in winter great folk* all repair, 
 In that season you'll certainly meet with me there. 
 To the country I scarcely my course ever steer, 
 Because there in full glory I do not appear. 
 As enough of particulars now I've disclosed, 
 With one general hint, Til conclude as propos'd : 
 My dominion — its proof these ?ne?noirs will afford— 
 Like Prussia's great monarch's is gain'd by the sword. 
 
 M. 
 
 CXIII. 
 I'M double, I'm single, I'm good, and I'm bad 
 
 As my follow'rs abundantly prove ; 
 By a trick it is known I am oft to be had, 
 
 But am gain'd with more pleasure by lo\ e. 
 
 What strange may appear, I can give to the face, 
 At one moment, both smiles and chagrin ; 
 
 And tho' oft to mankind I bring shame and disgrace, 
 Without honour I never am seen. 
 
85 
 
 CXIV. 
 
 Addressed to a Lady. 
 WHAT beauties with a grace may do ; 
 What, when you're drest, looks well on you ; 
 What every social man would be 
 To please the present company ; 
 What master for a wife would give ; 
 On what a parson's horse may live ; 
 What misses use for similies, 
 When fingers smart or head-ach's tease ; 
 What antiquarians gladly give 
 To make the former ages live ; 
 W T hat some men never think too bold, 
 To load their chests with ill-got gold ; 
 What I with pleasure would pursue, 
 If you, my fair one, would prove true. 
 
 cxv. 
 
 Enigmatical Compliment to a Literary Character. 
 YOUR praise in letters, tivo will serve to show, 
 The figures they've long made all scholars know. 
 
 M. 
 
 CXVI. 
 
 TO nothing add ten, with three fifths of two score, 
 And let them be join'd by five hundred more ; 
 
 i 
 
8(5 
 
 Theae rightly combined, will give you the Dame 
 Oi* a city that's high in the an ime. 
 
 CXV1I. 
 
 WHEN Sol thro' Aries drives his brilliant car, 
 And hostile bosoms kindle lor the war; 
 When Bofter souls the sweeter pleasures rove, 
 And melt in raptures with Idalian love ; 
 When blooming nature to the eye displays 
 Its pleasing pride a thousand wanton ways, 
 Then longing mortals with impatience wait 
 For my approach, which is as sure as fate. 
 You'll ask from whence this expectation springs, 
 Or what the blessings that my presence brings? 
 
 Tis this when I appear they boldly lie, 
 
 And cheat each other with impunity ; 
 
 Practise strange frauds, and what you'll scarce believe, 
 
 They're thought the brightest men who most deceive. 
 
 Lo here a hapless wretch, with up-lift eyes ! 
 
 Thanks his kind stars, and grasps a tempting prize. 
 
 But oh ! what changes on our actions wait, 
 
 What sudden scenes in life's fallacious state ! 
 
 Deluded fool, the bait which looks so fair, 
 
 Now r turns to filth, or flits away like air. 
 
 Then straight a lurking crew themselves disclose, 
 
 Mock at his shame, and triumph at his woes. 
 
 But least I seem of the fictitious kind, 
 
 Or virtue, vice, or passion of the mind; 
 
57 
 
 Know Pm the eldest of a num'rous race, 
 
 And, as my birth-right, claim the leading place : 
 
 My younger brethren in a train like geese 
 
 Pursue, but keep unequal distances ; 
 
 And only one can at a time be seen, 
 
 Such an imperious curtain's drawn between. 
 
 Alike we are in shape, alike in name, 
 
 Yet no illustrious acts my brethren claim; 
 
 But passion rules with such imperious sway, 
 
 We oft change countenance ten times a day. 
 
 Sometimes a glitPring face with charms appears ; 
 
 Sometimes a lowering brow, bedewM with tears. 
 
 But hold — enough — one cries — nay, this be shown, 
 
 I'm gladly seen by all, yet felt by none. 
 
 CXVIII. 
 FROM the womb of the earth, I challenge my birth ; 
 
 From the ladies fair fingers my frame, 
 I vary as oft as Luna aloft, 
 
 Yet always continue the same. 
 In winter Pm hot, in summer Pm not, 
 
 Yet feel I no great alteration ; 
 I play'd least in sight, as full well I might, 
 
 in the time of the grand usurpation. 
 I have flesh I must own, without any bone, 
 
 I've a tongue that ne'er spoke any treason : 
 I bear excellent fruit, without any root, 
 
 And always am best in my season. 
 i 2 
 
88 
 
 Both Indies do pay, by night and by da) 
 
 Their just tribute into my cavern ; 
 In an alehouse I'm poor, a^ the wretch at your d 
 
 But always am rich in a tavern. 
 When scarce a day old, I am clammy and cold, 
 
 But when into dungeon am turn'd, 
 I never get sleep, but ever do weep, 
 
 For fear of my sides being burn'd. 
 As soon as releas'd, I away to a feast, 
 
 And drink some more wine e'er I die; 
 Then straight disappear, and come no more there ; 
 
 What a whimsical creature am I ? 
 
 CXIX. 
 
 IN a small state, not only by their stars, 
 Prone to contend, but, doom/d to civil wars, 
 I act a part ; with proper talents blest, 
 A courtier from my finery confest. 
 Long with unequal fate I sought renown, 
 A slave by turns, to fortune's smile and frown. 
 Here I engag'd with credit, there with shame, 
 Nor hop'd to share above a common fame. 
 What strange effects a slender cause aftbrds, 
 The magic force of sound and pow'r of words ! 
 Few letters, placM with art, a title give, 
 From whence I great authority derive. 
 
89 
 
 Secure of conquest, now I take the field, 
 
 At my approach the stoutest heart must yield ; 
 
 In vain the great their boasted ensigns plead, 
 
 Together fall the sceptre and the spade ; 
 
 But as no mortal glories are sincere, 
 
 And clouds obscure our brightest moments here ; 
 
 Tho' no ill thought e'er harbour'd in my breast, 
 
 Tho' to all parties Tm a welcome guest, 
 
 Tho' just applause my victories proclaim, 
 
 Yet infamy and scorn attend my name. 
 
 cxx. 
 
 FIRST in the court of kings I take my birth, 
 
 Dispatched from thence I ravage all the earth : 
 
 O'er sea and land I bear a lawless sway, 
 
 Revel in blood, make human-kind my prey, 
 
 And slay ten thousand victims in a day. 
 
 i'nder the reign of my sworn enemy 
 
 I first was born, my birth soon made her die. 
 
 Tho' love and hatred of our good and ill, 
 
 We do each other both create and kill. 
 
 Th' ingenious nymph who first reveals my name 
 
 Shall be recorded in the book of fame. 
 
 CXXI. 
 
 ROOM for your slave and engineer, the Moor 
 That ne'er appear'd in masquerade before. 
 
 i 3 
 
You know me well, a little nimble fellow, 
 
 You've seen dress'd up in blue, red, brown, or yellow, 
 
 I'm sometimes with, sometimes without a head; 
 
 champion-like, from wounds my glories spread. 
 Thus mangled as my body shorter grow >, 
 My taylor in proportion cuts my clothi 
 Which, urchin-like, hide all, except — my nose. 
 Tho' my complexion's blacker than a sloe, 
 My mistress has a skin as white as snow : 
 In > iea there each charm. 1 trace, 
 
 And mend the native beauties of her fft 
 Till a more pow'rful rival fills my place. 
 His province is to crown what I begun ; 
 I then resign the honours I have won, 
 Extinguished, like a taper in the sun. 
 Thus doom'd to silent shades my labours lie 
 EmbamVd and buried in obscurity, 
 While o'er the tomb surprising trophies rise, 
 And cheerful nature triumphs in disguise. 
 Ev'n thus provok'd my loyalty's the same, 
 Unshaken, if I win or lose the game. 
 To quit or gain my point, I ply the oar, 
 And revel like a drunken tar on shore, 
 Till by degrees I've lavished all my store. 
 Ye sons of art, that own me for their friend, 
 Discard me, when they find I've nought to spend ; 
 Tho' for their sakes I've toil'd the life of man, 
 If, as the Psalmist says, 'tis but a span 
 
 i 
 
91 
 
 CXXII. 
 NOR form, nor substance, in my being share, 
 I'm neither fire nor water, earth nor air ; 
 From motion's force alone, my birth derive, 
 I ne'er can die, for never was alive : 
 And yet with such extensive empire reign, 
 That very few escape my magic chain. 
 Nor time, nor place, my wild excursions bound, 
 I break all order, nature's laws confound : 
 Raise schemes without contrivance, or design, 
 And make apparent contradictions join ; 
 Transfer the Thames, where Ganges' waters roll, 
 Unite th' equator to the frozen pole : 
 '.Midst Zembla's ice, bid blushing roses grow. 
 And British harvests bloom in Scythian snow : 
 Cause trembling flocks to skim the raging main, 
 And scaly fishes grace the verdant plain : 
 Make light descend, and heavy bodies rise, 
 Stars sink to earth, and earth ascend the skies. 
 If nature lie defornVd in wintry frost, 
 And all the beauties of the spring be lost, 
 "Rais'd by my pow'r, new verdure decks the ground, 
 And smiling flowers diffuse their sweets around: 
 The sleeping dead ! I summon from the tomb, 
 And oft anticipate the living's doom : 
 Convey offenders to the fatal tree, 
 When law and stratagem have set them free : 
 
A\v\l by no checks, my roving flight can 80 
 
 lid imagination's active pow'r. 
 I view each country of the spacious earth, 
 Nay, visit realms that never yet had birth: 
 Can trace the pathless regions of the air, 
 And By with ease beyond the starry sphere. 
 So iwifl my operations, in an hour 
 I can destroy a town, or build a tower, 
 Play tricks would puzzle all the search of wit. 
 And show whole volumes that were never writ. 
 In Mire records my mystic power's confessM, 
 Who wrack'd with cares a haughty tyrant's breast ; 
 Charg'd in prophetic emblems to relate 
 Approaching wrath, and his peculiar fate. 
 Oft to the good by heaven in mercy sent, 
 I've arm'd their thoughts against some dire event; 
 As oft in chains presumptuous villains bind, 
 And haunt with restless fears the guilty mind. 
 
 CXXIII. 
 
 LADIES, you've seen us in an instant i 
 Perfectly form'd, and of a beauteous size; 
 Our end you've in an instant seen, 
 With countenance gay, smiling, and m 
 Our hasty births to various causes due.. 
 And what creates us of> destroys us 
 
93 
 
 Yet still with ease the bright successions flow, 
 Where numbers die, maturely numbers grow : 
 Each temperate clime this generation yields, 
 Thick as fallen leaves in Autumn strew the fields. 
 Numerous as insects at the ev'ning hours, 
 Or drops of rain in soft descending show'rs ; 
 Seldom produced on the bleak northern coast. 
 Where seas lie bound stiff in eternal frost ; 
 Our tender constitution cannot bear 
 The cold of one continued wintry year. 
 From lands far distant, o'er the briny tide, 
 In some tall vessel see us safely ride. 
 Should hurricanes now on the ocean roar, 
 And roll the deep vast mountains to the shore ; 
 Should these vast mountains dash the vessel down, 
 And mea and cargo in the ocean drown : 
 Both storms and hurricane we boldly brave, 
 And smoothly sail o'er the proud Alpine wave. 
 Now see us round with lively purple glow, 
 W r ith all the colours of the painted bow ; 
 Then see us borne on zephyr's downy wing; 
 So larks mount upwards, and essay to sing ; 
 But what avail these beauties that we boast, 
 These various dyes all in a moment lost ! 
 Ladies, 'tis wondrous strange, but surely true, 
 That oft we're seen familiarly with you ; 
 Tho' unregarded, 'tis by your command, 
 We kiss your rosy lips or touch your hand : 
 

 Then say what can the 
 
 Which cv'ry day you either toich 
 
 ( XXIV. 
 WHAT shape or figure I may wea 
 
 Is not BO easy to declare; 
 
 ften changing, nothing pki 
 Loner, I'm plagued so with disea 
 Which, as in man, can ne'er be breeding 
 Thro' luxury, or too high feeding ; 
 Whilst 1 with the cameleon live, 
 And on his airy substance thrive: 
 Yet high and lofty I am found 
 As well as low, on barren ground ; 
 And sound and rotten oft appear 
 Just as Pm cultivated there : 
 Whilst single I am very easy, 
 Who'd marry ? Double I ne'er please ) 
 And yet can make (such pow'r is given) 
 A heav'n of hell — a hell of heav'n. 
 Ladies, too hard a task for you 
 I'm deem'd, and not to be told true; 
 
 you'll say I'm p'en too plain, 
 And your bright fancy ne'er can sti 
 rhen now d< ind you'll 
 
 Or the fi will tell. 
 
95 
 
 CXXV. 
 
 AVE would not interrupt the fair, whose suit and ser- 
 vice pay us, 
 
 But only beg when this is read, that they wou'd not 
 betray us ; 
 
 Most noble animals on earth, our social brethren boast, 
 
 Whom men alone, licentious men, experience to their 
 cost. 
 
 Skulking within our den we lodge, and always wait a 
 prize, 
 
 Since herds and flocks for us are seized, and fall a sa- 
 crifice. 
 
 In equal order mostly ranged, we equal tasks pursue ; 
 
 We ravage more than Etna's mouth e'er from its en- 
 trails threw. 
 
 In equal labour tho' employ'd ('tis worth your obser- 
 vation) 
 
 One half's ne'er known to move alone, and none to 
 change their station. 
 
 We stand as guards, and keep in awe, by nature's good 
 design, 
 
 What much indulg'd will public peace, and private 
 undermine. 
 
 But when our drooping mates at last, draw nearer to 
 their end, 
 
 Oft bitter pains their latest hours, as did their first at. 
 tend. 
 
96 
 
 i, undauntedly 
 
 Hut pioneers will oft subvert, With pickwixe and with 
 crow. 
 
 In things inanimate by art, most uncontrord we 
 >way, 
 
 We urge thro* knotty rocks and oaks, through massy 
 bars our way. 
 
 While quick on earth in scenes of mirth, most visible 
 we are, 
 
 In mirth, said I, we are the same, in torture and de- 
 spair. 
 
 CXXVI. 
 
 WHEN good old Saturn sway'd the realms of Day, 
 And numerous blessings did to earth convey ; 
 In flow'ry fields I dwelt and meadows green, 
 Doubled each beauty, and improved the scene; 
 While spun- r -.nitain'd a never ending round, 
 And nymphs with innocence and beauty crown'd, 
 Sometimes I punish'd scorn and cold disdain, 
 Or sooth'd with friendly art the lover's pain. 
 But when with impious hand rebellious Jorc 
 Expel'd his father from the throne above, 
 By rural nyu ought, unknown to fame, 
 
 To court I went, and took a different name : 
 
1 
 
 97 
 
 My credit soon increased in ev'ry place, 
 
 Nor did the gods deny my form to grace • 
 
 For all my mystic pow'r to me is giv'n 
 
 By Hermes, feignM the messenger of heaven. 
 
 Pm frail by nature, and of humble race, 
 
 Yet spotless charms adorn my lovely face ; 
 
 And often naked, or but meanly dressM, 
 
 Tho' sometimes glittering in a golden vest; 
 
 To me the ladies pay the warmest zeal, 
 
 Who tell their beauties, or their faults reveal ; 
 
 To me in ev'ry exigence repair 
 
 The faithful council of the modish fair : 
 
 In short, to all my friendly aid I lend, 
 
 The beau's companion and the ladies' friend. 
 
 Ye British fair, whose piercing wits excel, 
 
 Explore my secret name, my powers mysterious tell. 
 
 CXXVII. 
 WHILE women envy and the men admire, 
 My beauty sets ten thousand hearts on fire ; 
 My name is known in ev'ry well-bred place, 
 And I direct the motions of the glass .- 
 But yet to find my name the curious must 
 Trace my original from earthly dust, 
 Where laid, I died, then swell'd, and upwards grew, 
 And multiply'd by resurrection new. 
 
 K 
 
98 
 
 To Mansfield brought, they quite destroy'd my frame, 
 And Prom a ruddy hue I pale became: 
 Mj temper $our\J by this, 1 swelPd again, 
 
 In artful cave eXDOS'd to scorching pain; 
 And yet once metre I was delightful found 
 
 By men of taste, the.' cut, and bum'd, and drown'd. 
 
 this hint more, and then the mask is gonp : 
 1'he jolly miller gave me to King John. 
 
 CXXVIIL 
 REASON and folly are the pair, to whom I owe my 
 
 birth, 
 Much of my father's pride I have, and all my mother's 
 
 mirth : 
 But of my humour or my parts, to judge what certain 
 
 rule ? 
 Since Fm with every wise man seen, and heard with 
 
 ev'ry fool. 
 Yet this distinction I shall tell, if it your judgment 
 
 betters, , 
 
 I 'scape from fools just when I will, the wise hold me 
 
 in fetters. 
 Humours and airs I can put on of difFrent men and 
 
 places, 
 Can Proteus show, or Hogarth paint, how various are 
 
 my faces ? 
 
99 
 
 All tastes I fit, sneering with wits,, with the precise 
 
 refin'd, 
 With my lord mayor and aldermen I'm jovial when 
 
 they've din'd. 
 Within the rural scene I dwell, and yet, tho' rude, 
 
 sincere ; 
 At court, like courtiers, Pm polite, for I mean nothing 
 
 there. 
 As education moulds me, or my constitution's seen, as 
 The thunderer I my empire shake, or am as soft as 
 
 Venus. 
 When seated on my damask throne, fresh beauties I 
 
 display, 
 And yet the less my throne is, more soft and sweet are 
 
 they. 
 Fair ladies, if you've found me, and the secret will dis- 
 cover, 
 You cannot do a kinder thing than show me to your 
 
 lover. 
 
 CXXIX. 
 
 WHY should we seek strange enigmatic texts, 
 For subjects fit to puzzle and perplex ? 
 When what we daily think on, nearly view'd, 
 Abounds with riddles little understood. 
 Such then am I ; nor need I a disguise, 
 Being already veil'd from human eyes : 
 k2 
 
100 
 
 i in uncr presentj always am expected, 
 
 Tho' with what's present 1 ain close connected : 
 I'm still approaching nearer, ever near. 
 Yet none of me could ever saj 'tis b 
 
 when you think you have mo, you will iind 
 I'm furthest olY, and still remain behind. 
 What I am now, what you enjoy, has been ; 
 What I shall be, is but by lew foreseen : 
 And tho' sufficient evils me attend, 
 The hopes of thousands still on me depend ; 
 While others, lost in fears and jealousies, 
 Think I can but increase their miseries. 
 For me the miser hoards up golden heaps, 
 For me the devotee pale vigils keeps; 
 For rae th' economist whom reason guides, 
 As prudent foresight dictates, still provides; 
 For me, and for himself, the sot prepares 
 The head-ach, and to me leaves all his cares. 
 Look round about you, you'll with wonder see 
 Various concerns of life referr'd to me; 
 The courtier's promises, the bankrupt's pay, 
 The idler's business, and the law 's delay ; 
 The vows of lovers, hopes of the distrest, 
 The sinner's penitence, and friendship's test. 
 A thousand doubtful cases 1 decide, 
 Which, till my coming, must remain untried, 
 Tho' I could never yel be said to be, 
 
 Yet what was ;ik. you ev'ry day v: 
 
101 
 
 This tho' a kind of paradox, is true, 
 
 To solve which, ladies, must be left to you. 
 
 cxxx. 
 
 WHEN mortals from their labour cease, 
 And all the world's at rest in peace, 
 I guard their slumbers, and in spite 
 Of ruddy morn prolong the night. 
 In vain bright Phoebus doth display 
 His piercing beams to make it day. 
 Excluded by my thicker shroud 
 He darkling lies as in a cloud, 
 While nights involving gloomy shade 
 By me is ten times darker made. 
 What need that Jupiter shou'd force 
 The fiery sun to stop his course ; 
 And fair Aurora slowly run, 
 To make three days and nights but one ; 
 When by my help, in endless night, 
 He might have been concealed from sight. 
 I once deceived, if fame says true, 
 An artist with an hidden view ; 
 Whilst with a curious prying eye, 
 What I conceal'd he thought to "spy. 
 No wonder since th/ all-seeing sun 
 Cannot thro' me perceive what's done. 
 k3 
 
CXXXL 
 
 1 II A J' I'm your countryman you 
 
 ladies, by my looks and di 
 
 ras 1 born within the sound of hell. 
 Which Whittingtbn of old explain'd so well; 
 Ami as from ^craping dirt, and cleaning sho 
 He, by degrees, to high preferment rose ; 
 So from a despicable state I climb, 
 And much resemble both his cat and him. 
 The poor insolvent's fate 1 often share, 
 ])oom\l to stone doublet, and unwholesome air. 
 
 i From confinement, with melodious tongue, 
 J sound my triumphs to the list'ning throng. 
 No golden chain I wear, or scarlet gown, 
 Yet am above the greatest man in town. 
 With fasces, consul-like, I pass the street, 
 And have due distance paid by all I meet. 
 In me the city's confidence, and trust is, 
 Alore than in all the ministers of justice; 
 And from worse foes I guard it (not to rally) 
 Than all those nightly swarms at Black-boy-alley. 
 Ladies, I'm ready still at your commands, 
 ThV you'll admit me not to kiss your hands; 
 Vet where the lovely sleeping charmer lies, 
 At morn Pm sufter'd to unclose her eves. 
 
 
103 
 
 CXXXII. 
 
 FAR in the East, where morals mix with sports, 
 And wisdom is the pleasantry of courts ; 
 Instruction e'en to kings I can dispense. 
 Reform with guile, correct without offence. 
 But here, like harlequin, in antique guise, 
 My taient's not to teach, but to surprise ; 
 Sportive, but fruitless, witty, tho' not wise. 
 In days when not one ray of wit did shine, 
 I liv'd with the dark schoolman and divine; 
 And now with sage astrologers I dwell, 
 And truths as intricate as theirs can tell. 
 Be where I will, I court the sable shade, 
 A foe to light, and skulk in masquerade. 
 As Spanish dames wear the transparent veil, 
 To invite the eye, and show what they conceal ; 
 So I th' affected modest air am taught, 
 Hide to be seen, and fly but to be caught ; 
 Yet still I shall elude your pains and cost, 
 The moment you have seiz'd me, I am lost. 
 Witlings pretend Pm of the female sex, 
 Born but to tease, to puzzle, and perplex. 
 But ladies say, who best my nature scan, 
 I'm brother to that dark dissembler, man ; 
 With borrowed features act a doubtful part, 
 Profound, mysterious, subtle as his heart. 
 But not like that vain fugitive I range, 
 Fix me but once, and I can never change. 
 
 } 
 
 in 
 
104 
 
 Till then I rove, ami cv'iy form collect, 
 Bui in disjointed limbs each form r< 
 
 ir mi be the cyliodric glas 
 itter'd rays, and face. 
 
 Or touch me gently with Ithuriel'a spear , 
 In me the airy spectre will appear; 
 
 unsubstantial thing e'er made, 
 hantom's ghost, the shadow of a shade. 
 
 CXXXIIJ. 
 0Wn r d few riddles justly claim 
 But such as equally shun each extreme : 
 And if fit subjects should be fix'd upon, 
 (For there may be improper ones, you'll own] 
 Then I'm as fit a theme as can be chose, 
 Darkness and daylight equally my i\)v^. 
 Betwixt each wide extreme I keep the middle. 
 In this the very emblem of a riddle : 
 A mere nonentity when darkened most, 
 And, if too much enlighten'd, quickly ! 
 Short are my visits in the torrid z<v 
 In northern climates I am better known : 
 The Gothic bats, and sage Athenian owls 
 1 please, as well as those sharp-sighted fowls 
 That hail my first appearance, not n 
 Still better pleas'd, when I'm gone quite av. 
 
105 
 
 Oft when in me the virgin blush appears, 
 
 'Tis deemM a frown, and sure presage of tears; 
 
 And yet that blush, when next Pm seen again, 
 
 Gives hope and comfort to the anxious swain : 
 
 But most I cheer, when venerably grey, 
 
 And, just expiring, all my brightest charms display. 
 
 CXXXIV. 
 LADIES, 'tis no hard task, my name explore, 
 When known, if wise, ne'er let me cloud your door. 
 Caution your husbands, and each hopeful scion, 
 To shun me as they would a wolf or lion : 
 For I from hell deputed first began, 
 €i The wrath of God, and misery of man." 
 
 Attentive read, weigh well th' important tale, 
 
 And first, ye fair, take notice I'm a male, 
 
 Descended from an ancient worthy race, 
 
 Whom I, each day, degenerate wretch ! disgrace ; 
 
 I jealousies foment, distribute fears, 
 
 And catch th' unwary tradesman by the ears; 
 
 First touch his cole — then o'er him cast a mist, 
 
 And lead the passive cullies where I list. 
 
 In foreign language I began to cheat, 
 
 To cover artifice, and screen deceit ; 
 
 But now familiar grown the great among, 
 
 I traffic boldly in the vulgar tongue; 
 
 
106 
 
 To vend my wares around the country stroll, 
 Ruin one part, and prejudice the whole. 
 The racking landlord takes me for his friend, 
 Tho' 1 ne'er fail to bite him in the end. 
 The tenant t- me with usage civil, 
 
 Tho 1 in his heart he hates me as the devil. 
 
 lettnH 9 the clergy, on a sly pretence, 
 That I'm the church's, and their best defence, 
 When passion prompts, or fancy moves them to't, 
 Will deign of me to purchase a new suit. 
 But longer why should I perplex your head 
 To find me out ? — If not enough is said, 
 As thieves assume two names, I wear two faces, 
 Am a grammarian too, well vers'd in cases. 
 
 exxxv. 
 
 1 AM a bitter, but a wholesome good, 
 Were but my virtues better understood ; 
 For many things, impossible to thought, 
 Have been by me to full perfection brought. 
 The daring of the soul proceeds from me, 
 With prudence, diligence, activity; 
 Shai wit, and fortitude I give, 
 
 And teach the patient man to better live. 
 When men, once strange to me, my virtues prove, 
 -elves 1 make them know, and him above. 
 
107 
 
 The flatt'rer from the friend I teach to know ; 
 In me a fair possession lies, but (Oh ! 
 The childishness of men) all me refuse, 
 Because Fm plain ; and gawdy trifles choose. 
 Pm made the scorn of ev'ry foppish fool, 
 Insulted, hated, turn'd to ridicule. 
 
 CXXXVI. 
 NEAR to the purling streams I rest, 
 
 Where I am often found, 
 Oft took up, like a wandering beast, 
 
 And put into the pound. 
 
 Sometimes I high and lofty grow, 
 
 My head I proudly rear ; 
 But seldom in a coach I go, 
 
 Tho' often in a chair. 
 
 Yet, if my merit's rightly weighed, 
 Pve no great cause for pride ; 
 
 Since Pm not only lightly made, 
 But often laid aside. 
 
 When mortals from their cares a while 
 
 A strict cessation keep, 
 The tedious minutes I beguile, 
 
 And watch them while they sleep. 
 
108 
 
 ben of old Alcmena'a son, 
 By poieon'd ihirl annoy'd. 
 So when my c<>\ 'ring is put on, 
 I by it am destroj W. 
 
 A beaaUj by sacrifice prepared, 
 
 I'm fat ten *d for the fire ; 
 And bound and stuck, and, when uprearM 
 In flames and smoke expire. 
 
 I once the oppressed relief did brin 
 
 My kind assistance gave; 
 And from the fury of a king 
 
 Did Israel's leader save. 
 
 CXXXVII. 
 I'M that which God, whose spacious eye 
 Can look thro* all eternity, 
 Ne'er yet has seen, nor ever can, 
 Tho' common to the eyes of man. 
 A king will always call me brother, 
 And yet we seldom see each other ; 
 A ploughman meets me ev'ry day, 
 And we ne'er quarrel for the way ; 
 But if a peer and I should meet, 
 Perhaps we jostle in the street. 
 
109 
 
 Youthful beauty's blooming pride, 
 My very being will deride, 
 While age and wrinkles will persist 
 They see me where I don't exist. 
 
 CXXXVIII. 
 
 YE who in riddles take delight, 
 
 Attend to me, a wondrous wight ; 
 
 All forms I take that e'er were seen, 
 
 All colours wear, red, brown, blue, green : 
 
 Sometimes all loveliness appear, 
 
 Sometimes a monst'rous figure wear ; 
 
 Yet in all forms I pleasure give, 
 
 And tho' I'm dead, I seem to live. 
 
 The hardy sailor views in me 
 
 The object of his fantasy; 
 
 He who the charms of nature loves, 
 
 My warm admirer surely proves : 
 
 The epicure's oft pleas'd to see 
 
 What gratifies his taste in me ; 
 
 But to the lover I'm most dear, 
 
 Who brings his charming mistress near. 
 
 Not always am I priz'd alike ; 
 
 This happens as the taste I strike. 
 
 Sometimes my value's thought so great, 
 
 I'm sought by peers, and live in statt ; 
 
 L 
 
110 
 
 At others it is deemM but small, 
 
 nts' hall. 
 The rich their store, 
 
 And wealth 1 ome who're poor; 
 
 When young and new Pm greatly priz'd, 
 
 generally, when old, despis'd ; 
 Yet in some cases 'tis my age 
 The admiration doth engage. 
 One further hint I'll give, then know, 
 I immortality bestow. M. 
 
 CXXXIX. 
 
 In a Letter to a Lady. 
 Madam, 
 I TAKE the liberty of sending the servant whom I 
 mentioned the other day, and think, before you retain 
 him, you should know something of his family and 
 qualities. His birth was certainly low, and he was 
 brought up among poor people; a little polishing was 
 wed upon him, which to his credit he took well : 
 he is sharp, has bright parts, and I have reason to be- 
 lieve his temper is good. He has undergone some se- 
 vere trials previous to his entering my service, which 
 have been an advantage to him. He has some skill in 
 drawing, aad if you should employ him in that way # 
 he may prove an hour's amusement to you and yc 
 
Ill 
 
 friends. He will be useful at your side-board ; yet I 
 must confess, if you cannot conrrive to keep liquor 
 from him, his head will be frequently turned ; though 
 upon such an occasion I must do him the justice to say, 
 I never knew him give offence, or in a-.iy single in- 
 stance betray his trust. You may rely on his never 
 repeating any thing that passes in the family out of 
 doors. I must not further anticipate your opinion of 
 him; will only add, I should not have patted with him 
 myself, but for the pleasure of recommending him to 
 you. 
 
 I am, Madam, &c. &c. 
 
 CXL. 
 I DESCEND from a king, and 'tis sure a strange thing 
 
 That from court I am banish'd away, 
 Array'd in silk clothes, and connected with beaus, 
 
 A long meagre form I display. 
 
 Tho' bound, I keep pace with my lord in the chace, 
 
 And follow direct in a line, 
 But when he's drest out, for a levee or rout, 
 
 The fate of the fox may be mine. 
 
 How vain to count those who my body compose, 
 Though united we're separate quite, 
 l2 
 
I 
 
 112 
 
 Sufficient to say, I exist in the day, 
 And seldom if ever at night. 
 
 Tho' I do not suppress my descent or my dress, 
 
 My name I don't choose to betray; 
 But to puzzle you more, you ne'er saw me before, 
 
 Tho' again very often you may. 
 
 CXLI. 
 
 THE mother of evil, the parent of good, 
 
 I never could eat, yet make all things my food. 
 
 I am grave, 1 am gay, I am foolish and wise, 
 
 Some men I degrade, while I make others rise ; 
 
 I cause pleasure and pain, sweet concord and strife, 
 
 All things can create, and destroy all, e'en life ! 
 
 I was found in the ark, have been known ever since — 
 
 (Men, women, and children, this truth can evince) 
 
 And ne'er shall relinquish my station on earth, 
 
 While on it are found wisdom, folly, or worth. 
 
 One hint further I'll give, then bid you adieu, 
 
 At this time I am happy in dwelling with yon. M, 
 
 CXUI. 
 
 MY body's tall and slender, smooth and gay, 
 In martial armour clad, and bright array ; 
 
i 
 
 113 
 
 Not ev'n the heroes of the Grecian host 
 
 More splendour in their spears and shields could boast. 
 
 But tho' so glorious I at first appear, 
 
 Tm such a monster in my shape, I fear 
 
 My next account will shame my character. 
 
 My head more bulky than my body grows, 
 
 If head can be without mouth, ears, eyes, nose. 
 
 No feet I have ; I'm lame as well as blind ; 
 
 Yet with two legs before, one hand behind, 
 
 I still victorious prove, to bless mankind. 
 
 Join'd by my maker in a nuptial state, 
 
 True as the cooing turtle to her mate, 
 
 In happy climes we fix our station where 
 
 Diana's sports divert us all the year. 
 
 Take a fresh tour each day with equal pace, 
 
 Nor seek in vain the fortunes of the chace. 
 
 Our rage insatiate flies at ev'ry game, 
 
 At fish and beasts and fowl, or wild or tame. 
 
 Ten more associates join to seize the prey ; 
 
 But I still claim the honour of the day, 
 
 And bear in triumph all the prize away. 
 
 Nor, ladies, are my meanest praises due, 
 
 That oft I sacrifice my spoils to you. 
 
 cxliii. 
 
 LONG my small body lay in earthen bed, 
 Till the bright sun drew forth my tender head; 
 
 l3 
 
 i 
 
114 
 
 Pleas'd with the warmth, and nourished with the 
 
 gleams, 
 I stretch'd my trunk to meet the cheering beams; 
 Extended far from small to great my name, 
 A noted sacred simile became ; 
 But age, inexorable age, drew nigh, 
 Cut down, dried up, and wither'd now I lie ; 
 My fruit torn from my body straight is stor'd 
 For man, that haughty stern devouring lord. 
 These are my strength, in those my virtue lie, 
 1 live in these, although my body die. 
 Then bruis'd, and penn'd, immur'd in walls around. 
 Close pent I lie in liquid atoms drown'd. 
 Hence I arise, with greater strength supply'd, 
 Perfect as silver in the furnace try'd ; 
 I know no danger, for I fear no foe, 
 To temp'rance I a kind indulgence show, 
 But gluttons shall my dire resentment know. 
 I bite the biter, and the stout oppose, 
 I took the mighty Marlbro' by the nose. 
 Then, ladies, name the object of your fears, 
 What taints the breath, and draws unpitied tears. 
 
 ! 
 
 CXLIV. 
 
 a magician of stupendous fame, 
 And the most pow'rful that e'er bore the name. 
 
v 
 
 115 
 
 A strong enchanted castle I do hold, 
 
 That's now above a thousand lustres old ; 
 
 Yet its foundation time could ne'er decay, 
 
 Nor yet the furious deluge wash away. 
 
 At first a glorious front attracts your eye, 
 
 Built by exactest rules of symmetry ; 
 
 All the first rooms are splendid, rich, and neat, 
 
 Contriv'd for delicacy, ease and state ; 
 
 But in remoter lodgings slaves I keep, 
 
 And fetter'd captives groan in dungeons deep ; 
 
 My fetters are invisible but sure, 
 
 And commonly as long as life endure. 
 
 Here is my citadel, secure I lie, 
 
 Aud practise charms on all that travel by. 
 
 My flattering promises all ranks ensnare, 
 
 The wise, the great, the rich, the brave, the fair. 
 
 They first approach my gates with eager joy, 
 
 Led by the pleasing curiosity; 
 
 But viewing all th' apartments, the desire 
 
 Abates, and they as gladly would retire. 
 
 But, Oh ! a potent verbal spell retains, 
 
 And holds them fetterM in its magic chains. 
 
 How many for admittance do implore 
 
 In vain, but for dismission thousands more. 
 
 CXLV. 
 
 MY head is well furnished without you will own, 
 But to tell you the truth, for brains I have none ; 
 
lib 
 
 those who're oblig'd to their wits lor their 
 bread, 
 What keeps my teeth going, still conies from my head. 
 My throat is but narrow, yet wide are my jaws, 
 I eat without chewing, my teeth are like claws; 
 As a child that is fed by its nurse, I ne'er eat 
 But when Pve another prepares me my meat ; 
 Tis true, she will taste when she feeds me — so let her, 
 For the oft'ner she does so, it goes down the better: 
 Sorry music I make, yet a flute or a fiddle 
 
 s not turn to account half so much as this riddle. 
 
 CXLVI. 
 
 LIKE modern beaus Pm tightly brae'd, 
 And firmly bound about my waist; 
 And, like the monstrous German maids, 
 My single body has two heads. 
 Pve one great eye ; but what's uncommon, 
 My inside is without th' abdomen. 
 When once I speak, whate'er I say, 
 Crowns must implicitly obey, 
 Tho' death and danger's in the way. 
 Nay, murd'rers with uplifted hands 
 Must sheath their swords at my commands. 
 But that you may discover me, 
 Know I am bang'd like walnut-tree ; 
 
 s 
 
117 
 
 And yet for blows care not a souse, 
 But sadly dread a little mouse : 
 And that I mayn't remain a wonder, 
 Tho' born of earth, like heav'n, I thunder. 
 
 CXLVII. 
 I AM of wondrous parts composed, 
 
 And of a tawny feature, 
 Set for my size in holy writ 
 
 Before a monstrous creature. 
 
 With wings and dart I'm fortify'd, 
 So arm'd with courage brave, 
 
 Was mighty Hector now on earth, 
 Some of his blood I'd have. 
 
 I soon could wound Goliath great 
 
 Of Gath, was he but here, 
 In spite of his rich coat of mail, 
 
 His helmet, plate, or spear. 
 
 Was Guy of Warwick now on horse, 
 With sword and lance so keen, 
 
 I cou'd beset, and make him taste, 
 The sharpness of my spleen. 
 
 Ten thousand valiant men I've mark'd, 
 'Tis to the world well known ; 
 
118 
 
 Yet none can say one drop of blood 
 From me was ever drawn. 
 
 CXLVIII. 
 YE charming fair, whose growing fame is hurl'd 
 Swifter than lightning thro* the learned world, 
 Whose piercing wit unfolds deep mysteries, 
 And to whose search unveiled nature lies. 
 Show to the world, ye lovely nymphs, my name, 
 For you, or none, can sure unfold the same. 
 In Paphian groves of old I fix'd my reign, 
 And little loves led on my wanton train : 
 (So sung the ancient bards) but now no more 
 I rest delighted with the Cyprian shore, 
 Since barb'rous Turks destroy'd the blissful grove. 
 Usurp'd my realm, and banish'd ev'ry love. 
 From hence expuls'd, on plumes erect I rise, 
 And now enjoy a station in the skies ; 
 Where I employ my utmost power and cam 
 To shed kind influence on the British fair: 
 Nor is my care unfruitful, for where Thames 
 Glides o'er the yellow meads with silver streams, 
 A nobler Paphos rises to my sight, 
 And softer scenes of exquisite delight : 
 There circling trees spread round their welcome 
 
 shades, 
 And smiling flow'rs glow thro' the chequer'd glades. 
 
119 
 
 On those I spread my most auspicious light, 
 And, like the moon, am only seen by night ; 
 What time queen regent of the skies I reign, 
 And usher in the bright celestial train : 
 But frequent changes in my place are found ; 
 Sometimes I seem to wear a perfect round ; 
 Then, like a silver crescent form'd, I bear 
 Amnion's stern front, whom ancient tales declare 
 To be my father : now, ye fair, I pray, 
 To the expecting world my name display. 
 
 CXLIX- 
 
 WITH so much art my tender limbs are wrought, 
 That ere my frame was to perfection brought, 
 I try'd the nicest hand and deepest thought : 
 But see what fury reigns in human breasts ; 
 How soon by man are virtuous things opprest ? 
 I'm soon confin'd within a narrow space, 
 Where I have only room to show my face ; 
 There like a branded villain must appear, 
 And large black letters on my visage wear. 
 A heavy load my new-form'd limbs sustain, 
 And bear the girding thong, or cruel chain. 
 As sharpest trials truest virtue show, 
 By this oppression I more virtuous grow, 
 To ease me of the burden I sustain, 
 I labour hard, nor should I strive in vain ; 
 
 i 
 
120 
 
 But men undo what I with pains have done, 
 
 And make my task like Sisyphus's stone. 
 
 Yet still some signal favours 1 enjoy, 
 
 My frequent repetitions never cloy ; 
 
 I twice a day repeat the selfsame thing, 
 
 Yet I each moment fresh advices bring, 
 
 Make what you've heard a thousand times amuse, 
 
 And still the same dull story pass for news : 
 
 To the devout Pm oft a friendly aid ; 
 
 I still assist in assignations made, 
 
 Send some to church, and some to masquerade. 
 
 Tho' hard I labour, yet my hands move slow, 
 
 And tho' I never stir my feet, I go : 
 
 Men to my reckoning things of value trust, 
 
 And tho' I ne'er told twenty, I can boast 
 
 No banker ever kept account more just. 
 
 Of what you spend I always give the sum, 
 
 But never tell you how much more's to come. 
 
 
 CL. 
 
 FROM pregnant waters, and from fertile earth, 
 From nitrous air, I claim my unknown birth; 
 Then rove about to persecute mankind, 
 For to no town or country Pm confined ; 
 But all the spacious land I travel o'er, 
 And visit kings and princes, rich, and poor. 
 
121 
 
 But know Ten lov'd by few, and fear'd by all, 
 So prove unwelcome wheresoever I call. 
 Yet, like a bold invader, none I fear, 
 And savage like, nor age nor sex I spare : 
 But where I entrance gain, such havock make, 
 The haughtiest humble, and the stoutest quake. 
 The mighty Whitaker, whose war-like fist 
 Ignobly slew his late antagonist, 
 If once opposed to me, must quit the field, 
 And all his glories to my power yield; 
 And in their place his savage front would bear, 
 The ghastly marks of horrid pale despair. 
 Tis with such coin I all my landlords pay, 
 Which usage makes the good old women say, 
 Tin some dire fiend, or evil spirit, sent 
 From helPs dark legions for a punishment. 
 
 ur size, j 
 
 s rise, > 
 
 surprise. J 
 
 CLI. 
 
 OUR number's small, yet smaller far our size, 
 Yet from our front such noble structures 
 As strike each ravish'd youth with glad surpr 
 Five noble chiefs, prime Lords of our train band, 
 In triumph ride, deck'd with supreme command; 
 A foreign hero, of no spurious breed, 
 With pompous train, submissive next succeed ; 
 Our captain with gigantic size complete, 
 Of ancient lineage, and by title great, 
 
 M 
 
Proudly pre-eminent, surmounts the I 
 
 Advancing, hero like, his angled CH 
 
 When marshal'd in battalions we appear, 
 
 This captain leads the van, the foreign youth the rear 
 
 Whose noble birth the ancient Grecians boast, 
 
 Tho' belt debas'd in this inferior post. 
 
 Without our chief we're abject, mean, forlorn, 
 
 And by their help the greatest acts perform. 
 
 Well disciplin'd, taught by the German sage, 
 
 Not soldier like, in rank our foes engage ; 
 
 For most disrank'd, the more our force alarms. 
 
 When pow'rful art assists our native charms ; 
 
 With strength redoubled, then attack each fort, 
 
 A sword to fools, but to the brave support. 
 
 Support to those by whom discreetly us'd ; 
 
 The dire reverse, if slighted or abus'd. 
 
 Thus rambling reign, not fearing Fortune's frown, 
 
 Strangers to some, to others we're well known ; 
 
 Known well to you, unblemish'd Nymphs, we stand, 
 
 And daily wait submiss* at your command, 
 
 To kiss your rosy cheek, and lily hand. 
 
 But should our war-like phiz infuse surprise, 
 
 Withdraw in time those lovely gems, your e\ 
 
 Such dazzling rays may scorch us, now in view, 
 
 Cease babbling muse, no more the theme pursue. 
 
 Invite with speed each beauteous Fair to name 
 
 These objects flowing from a fertile Brain 
 
 i 
 
•I 
 
 123 
 
 CLIL 
 
 ONE day to Parnassus incognito straying, 
 
 As the Muses and I at crambo were playing, 
 
 Apollo, in frolic, a word wou'd propound, 
 
 To which ail the Nine in their places chim'd round 
 
 Eut not one the mysterious couplet found. 
 
 He smil'd, and said, Girls, since the females of Bri- 
 tain 
 Enigmas delight in, and none this have hit on, 
 Here take't and disguise it, as children do babies, 
 And send it next year to your rivals, those ladies, 
 Thalia, o'er Poetry comic presiding, 
 The masquerade dress had the charge of providing. 
 
 Two horns on its head she agreeably plac'd, 
 And a neat buckle girdle affix'd to its waist. 
 A large hump on its back was like porter's pad laid, 
 In which, tho' no beauty, yet use was displayed. 
 On one side a whimsical locket was hung, 
 Which they sometimes wou'd kick, but oft' trample 
 
 upon. 
 Next its linen she put a doublet of leather, 
 Like postillion in winter, to guard 'gainst bad weather. 
 But when seasons were good or in holiday time, ") 
 'Twou'd in velvet, brocade, or embroidery shine, > 
 As gay as the best, and as splendidly fine. J 
 
 She gave it no wings, but without them 'tis found 
 To move thro' the air, and yet not touch the ground. 
 m 2 
 
191 
 
 To Britain's fair females devoted, they'll own 
 
 Its worth, and the name of their servant make known. 
 
 CLIU. 
 
 I'VE heard of one of human kind, 
 But yet without a human mind; 
 Who oft' is seen from many a plain, 
 Here and there, and here again ; 
 But chiefly when the sun from high 
 Descends and views the nether sky, 
 He with great swiftness daily moves, 
 O'er hills, and dales, and shady groves; 
 And yet this mighty man of fame 
 Is but a creature of the brain. 
 Then tell me, ladies, if you can, 
 Who is this fancy 'd, wondrous man. 
 
 CLIV. 
 
 I'M neither rich, ingenious, nor fair ; 
 My colour's coarser than e'en negroes are : 
 I'm dull and sordid, clad in base attire, 
 Which oft is cover'd o'er with dust and mire. 
 And yet more rivals for my person strive, 
 Than for the fairest noble nymph alive. 
 Th' extremes of various fortune oft' I try ; 
 Sometimes cast down, sometimes exalted high. 
 
Yet not my squalid form, or abject state, 
 
 The ardour of my lovers can abate : 
 
 For still the more I their approach elude, 
 
 With greater industry I am pursu'd • 
 
 But when obtained, so much contempt I meet, 
 
 The lover kicks and spurns me with his feet. 
 
 CLV. 
 
 COME, learn of me the force of parts alone, 
 
 And what great things by stirring may be done. 
 
 I, who was born to neither house nor land, 
 
 Have now vast heaps of wealth at my command ; 
 
 And yet to gain this power I nothing do, 
 
 But all to others active hands I owe. 
 
 I ne'er to civil or to common law was bred, 
 
 Nor taught for fees in noisy courts to plead : 
 
 Yet titles to estates are often try'd 
 
 By me, and I the doubtful case decide ; 
 
 And give such turns to things, that, 'spite of merit, 
 
 Tho' rightful heirs do an estate inherit, 
 
 Yet I to strangers hands can soon transfer it. 
 
 There's not a Term, no court In Westminster, 
 But there are those can what I say aver. 
 And yet I'm known to have no eloquence; 
 No charms of speech, or even common sense. 
 What appears of me, I must own is smooth, 
 I never hurl', but then d'ye think I'll sooth? 
 m 3 
 
 ! 
 
126 
 
 th, let sordid, cringing mortals use 
 b sneaking arts, and such moan methods choose; 
 Whose oily tongues can sleekly, smoothly glide; 
 I carry all by using my rough side. 
 Then how they storm, and damn, and swear, to 
 Themselves outdone by such an one as me! " 
 So chous'd by such an empty, brainless fool, 
 And gull'd of all, by such a worthless tool ! 
 And then, next time they chance to meet with me, 
 They seek revenge and use me barb'rouslv. 
 I have no .sight, but tho' so blind I be, 
 (To show how small advantage 'tis to see) 
 To manage those I make't my constant trade, 
 Who have eyes full as thick as Argus' head. 
 But that you may at these great wonders guess, 
 One secret truth I freely will confess: 
 Tho' wan and of a sallow hue my face is, 
 Know Pm might'ly in the ladies' graces: 
 To them I therefore for my name appeal, 
 Sure they that use me, who I am can tell. 
 
 CLVL 
 
 IN vain we stretch our thoughts to find 
 Subjects to puzzle human kind ; 
 When common objects seem to me 
 Enigmas past discovery. 
 
127 
 
 Within my body, small as 'tis, 
 Lurk many curious mysteries ; 
 Few can my genial atoms trace, 
 Or ken the progress of my race ; 
 Tho* numerous beings owe to me 
 Themselves and their posterity. 
 Of difTerent size and colour too, 
 Cameleon like, of ev'ry hue, 
 Brown, speckled, yellow, black, or blue. 
 What's yet more strange, can mak't appear 
 I ramble almost ev'ry where; 
 On earth, in air, at random play, 
 And o'er the boundless ocean stray, 
 Tho* seen by thousands ev'ry day. 
 Of old a valuable guest, 
 Sat uppermost at every feast ; 
 From whence a proverb I became, 
 For ever shall preserve my name. 
 Some ancient learned mystae tell 
 I represent the world so well, 
 Xo livelier symbol can be shown 
 Of its duration than my own. 
 Within my body central heat 
 Is fix'd my ruin to complete, 
 With difTerent strata cover'd o'er, 
 Which must in time the whole devour 
 
188 
 
 CLVH. 
 
 FIRM to our post ■ numerous band 
 
 lu martial order rang'd wc stand, 
 
 still ready upon cv'rv call 
 
 With fury on the foe to fall; 
 
 A subtle i'ov that here and there, 
 
 h\ parties rambles ov'ry where, 
 
 spoiling and defacing, 
 What they chance to liud a place in; 
 
 lurking where they light, 
 Till rais'd by us, and put to flight. 
 But, O ye powers ! (of you we crave 
 That aid the generous and brave) 
 When we the injur'd wou'd redress. 
 And succour innocent distress : 
 When with oppressors vile we strive, 
 And would them from their shelter drive, 
 
 Grant us a dry and open field 
 
 For shouM we summon them to yield, 
 
 In bogs and marshes still secure 
 
 They'd mock our vengeance, and defy our power. 
 
 CLVIII. 
 LONG undistinguish'd, as a piece of clay, 
 Regardless in the earth conceal'd I lay : 
 But now, oh wondrous change ! am rose to light, 
 Richly adorn'd with gold, in black and white : 
 
129 
 
 Now in an ancient fabric stand displayed, 
 Where by admiring eyes my form's survey'd ; 
 While some with silent grief lament to see 
 Others dissolved in tears, that here T be : 
 Yet as I'm fix'd, I shall for years remain, 
 I taste no pleasure, nor I feel no pain. 
 
 Here I resemble man that noble make, 
 There the bright figure of some lady take : 
 Here represent some venerable sage, 
 There seem an infant in its tender age. 
 
 Wonders to tell ; illiterate I be, 
 Yet ev'ry language is expressed by me. 
 I flatter, and speak truth of old and young, 
 Yet am inanimate, and have no tongue. 
 
 None ever sees me, but a conqu'ror's near, 
 Whose warlike trophies I in splendor wear; 
 He spreads his banners all around my frame, 
 While to Ihe world I celebrate his fame: 
 His praise and triumph 'tis my task to show, 
 Which all will own, when once my name they know 
 
 CLIX. 
 BEFORE the sun had found his destinM way. 
 And blest the chaos with refulgent day ; 
 Ere the pale moon reflected from on high, 
 Or starry studs had lighted up the sky, 
 
130 
 
 I chum my birth; and in dark caverns lay, 
 When no bright beam could pierce th* imper 
 
 m a\ p 
 Till some intrepid wretch, by lucre led, 
 Div'd and discover'd my benighted bed: 
 Hurry'd from lience I'm fore'd to undergo 
 The scorch of heat and scourge of souls below ; 
 Here I a second name and nature have, 
 Such as my dark discoloured maker gave. 
 As moles disjoin and perforate the clay, 
 My snout pervades and drills her fiery way ; 
 My arms compress'd, my jaws together lie, 
 But when dissever'd both expanded fly : 
 Then who or what I am, ye ladies, show, 
 For no one more than you my service know. 
 
 CLX. 
 
 IN tragic lines a dreadful tale I tell, 
 Of a fierce monster, or a fiend from hell. 
 Than sword or pestilence she more annoys, 
 And privately more subjects she destroys: 
 Some in their prime, some in their riper age. 
 Fall heedless victims to her burning rage; 
 Others are kept in rags and poverty, 
 While some in gaols do unlamcnted lie. 
 Rapine and treason, thefts and murders too, 
 Are vilely acted by h*r thoughtless crew. 
 
131 
 
 Altho' the subtile sphinx thus tyrannize, 
 And make her vassals a mere sacrifice : 
 She forceth few, but flattereth all she may, 
 And slyly steals 'em from themselves away. 
 Then she enchants 'em thro* some strange disguise. 
 As Jove did Ixon's, so she blinds their eyes, 
 And then transforms them into various shapes, 
 Some goats, some ganders, other some are apes. 
 Thus she ten thousand diff'rent changes makes, 
 And they, regardless, see not their mistakes : 
 How long she's reign'd 'tis dubious to descry, 
 But since the Deluge authors testify 
 She conquered great Philip's warlike son, 
 After the worthy wight the world had won. 
 
 CLXI. 
 FOUR faithful subjects, but of mean degree, 
 Sprung from an ancient numerous family ; 
 fall, slender, neat, polite, industrious too, 
 For favour ladies and protection sue : 
 -Nor let their first petition be denied, 
 Who've long maintain'd the poor, and rich supplied. 
 At courts of princes, once in such repute, 
 
 By got the length »f every monarch's foot; 
 And serv'd the country with incessant care, 
 fa] to man, convenient to the fair. 
 
138 
 
 kit if this grtjtdettr with their woes was weighed, 
 
 " Envy wou'd own the purchase dearly paid. ,% 
 
 Uncomiuoii sights each careful hour perplex, 
 
 And seldom want they halters round their necks. 
 
 Not quarrelsome, nor prodigal of blood, 
 
 Yet fight eacli day to do the public good : 
 
 At night in silk or cotton wrappM they lie. 
 
 And soon forget the passing misery ; 
 
 Were those the only hardships they endure, 
 
 They patiently submit, nor ask a cure : 
 
 But ah ! long since, strange politician rose, 
 
 Subtile as Machiavel, as Cromwell close, 
 
 Dispatch their business with surprising art, 
 
 Trip't up their heels, and stole their master's heart : 
 
 And they, from costly rooms and plenty fled, 
 
 In villages procur'd an humbler bed. 
 
 But as they hatch no plots, contrive no ill, 
 
 The darlings of a numerous party still. 
 
 Consider this, and to the world relate 
 
 The emblem of a favourite courtier's fate. 
 
 CLXII. 
 FROM a well manur'd earth I challenge my birth; 
 
 From a well hard en 'd metal my form ; 
 Am a right welcome guest at full many a feast, 
 
 Yet seldom am good but when warm. 
 
133 
 
 Being born to be burnt, I never can mourn't, 
 
 Nor ever repine at my fate; 
 Since the worse I am us'd, and the more I'm abus'd, 
 
 The more riches accrue to the state. 
 
 Some people I please, some people I ease, 
 
 And others again I torment ; 
 Some disorders I cure, and some I procure 
 
 To those who to conquer me meant. 
 
 Your thirst I increase, your hunger appease, 
 To the wearyM refreshment afford ; 
 
 To my lady's fair face I add no little grace, 
 But seldom Pm lik'd by my Lord. 
 
 Of lawyers, physicians, and grave politicians, 
 The thoughts I am wont to compose ; 
 
 Befriend contemplation, whet the wits o' th' nation, 
 When o'er me they fuddle their nose. 
 
 To the virtues I mention, it was my intention 
 To have added a great many more : 
 
 But I take but this one, and then FH have done, 
 Fm a cure for almost any sore. 
 
134 
 
 CLXIII. 
 MIGHT death and devastation purchase fame, 
 None can transcend m< lorious name : 
 
 They boast of Theseus, and the worthy Nine, 
 Of Philip's son, and the Caesarean line ; 
 Of modern heroes grand exploits are told, 
 Which seem to vie in glory with the old ; 
 But candid truth in my behalf declares 
 My victories claim precedence of theirs : 
 I with heroic loyalty defend 
 My prince, my country, parents, mistress, friend j 
 Fight glorious battles for religion's sake, 
 Pull down oppressors, and support the weak. 
 Yet does the world asperse my honour'd name; 
 (For all are subject to the wounds of fame) 
 They call me robber, traitor, parricide, 
 Tyrant, usurper, rebel, regicide ; 
 They say, I ever fair pretences make, % 
 But when I fight, 'tis still for int'rest sake ; 
 That from th' infernal regions I was sent, 
 That I might here be Pluto's instrument. 
 But, ladies, to your judgment I appeal, 
 Being assur'd you will with candour deal ; 
 Whether I'm worthy praise, or merit blame 
 Declare your sentiments, and tell my name. 
 
1S5 
 
 CLXIV. 
 SING, sprightly Muse ! invite the beauteous fair 
 Thy flowing lines attentively to hear; 
 From what they hear, their genius can explain 
 The dark allusions of my mystic name. 
 Obvious to all, I sport on ev'ry plain, 
 Tasteless of joy, insensible of pain ; 
 My wondrous stature oftentimes is seen 
 To cover lands, and reach from green to green : 
 Prodigious space I fill ; yet other objects may 
 Possess the same, not moving me away. 
 All other creatures from their birth enlarge, 
 And grow, 'till nature's finished her charge ; 
 But I, more strange, from my conception waste, 
 Till life's half done, and half my days are past ; 
 Then from my noon, as others from their morn, 
 I grow again, until I reach my urn. 
 No particles my wondrous corpe compose, 
 Yet 'tis from substance that my birth arose \ 
 No intellects can ray existence own, 
 Yet by instinct I move, and go alone ; 
 Amphibious is my nature ; oft I play, 
 And mock the sporting fishes in the sea ; 
 Upon the land with ev'ry object be, 
 Graze with the kine, and with the fair drink tea; 
 With op'ning dogs the circling chace renew, 
 Fly with the hare, and with the hounds pursue. 
 N 2 
 
136 
 
 Sol ne'er saw me in his bright array, 
 Nor silver Luna from her azure way, 
 Tho' you behold me twenty times a day 
 From light I fly, as from a deadly 1 
 Yet can the darkness no existence know ; 
 But further, if I should myself explain, 
 You would too easily perceive my name. 
 
 CLXV. 
 IN the dark mansions of the briny deep, 
 Uninterrupted I in safety keep ; 
 Mountainous billows often o'er me roll, 
 Yet 1 at ease can range from pole to pole ; 
 Visit those shores which yet are undescry'd, 
 And all the habitable world beside ; 
 To cities populous and great repair, 
 And am most conversant among the fair, 
 Where I grow intimate, and friendship gain, 
 DespisM by few, but what are loose and vain ; 
 The lover oft has wish'd it was his part, 
 Like me, t' embrace the charmer of his heart. 
 I in a thousand habits do appear, 
 The richest gaities of courts I wear; 
 Nor do disdain the humble rural dress, 
 Am pleas'd as well in that, as in excess. 
 
 I 
 
137 
 
 Brightly adorn'd in palaces I move, 
 And meaner clad in flow'ry fields I rove ; 
 True emblem of hypocrisy I am, 
 Disguis'd from all, to none exposM to shame ; 
 Till once my native blackness is displayed, 
 And then with scandal I aside am laid. 
 
 CLXVI. 
 FROM pole to pole, would you my footsteps trace, 
 I wildly range and glide from place to place ; 
 On wings displayed sublime I mount the sky, 
 There should I fix remote from vulgar eye, 
 For here Pm restless, light, inconstant, vain, 
 An empty thing, scarce worthy of a name. 
 A faithless tyrant, flatt'ring hypocrite, 
 A limping cripple, destitute of light: 
 An airy phantom, that weak mortals court, 
 Which renders me to wiser heads a sport : 
 Thousands I hurry headlong to their fate, 
 Witness that glorious scene in eighty-eight. 
 When Spain, the Pope and Devil all combin'd, 
 And iu one fleet their several forces joined, 
 I flush'd their sails, before their navy flew, 
 Till godlike Drake dispers'd the haughty crew ; 
 With splendid guests replenish^ Charon's boat, 
 And fill'd with jealous Dons the Stygian moat ; 
 N 3 
 
138 
 
 Their ships I left disrob'd of all their pride, 
 
 When torn, burnt, sunk, with streams of crimson dy'd, 
 
 tarnCOtt like, I creep to the conqu'ring side. 
 On land I reign, and there by different ways 
 Admittance gain, and different tempera please, 
 Grac'd with my smiles, the martial hero fights, 
 The statesman toils, the captive youth indites : 
 The miser hoards, the wealthy merchant braves 
 The blust'ring winds, and triumphs u'er the waves; 
 The'flatt'rer fawns, the beau in splendor shines, 
 And Grub-street garrets satirize the times ; 
 The client fees, the crafty lawyer pleads, 
 The holy cheat devoutly counts his beads ; 
 The pris'ner sings, the languid fair revives, 
 Belinda smiles, each anxious lover thrives, 
 And at her feet submissive ask their lives. 
 Ladies, to make me more conspicuous, know, 
 Life's purest pleasures from my influence flow ; 
 And should you cease to think me worth your care, 
 You'd soon be visited by black despair. 
 
 CLXVII. 
 ONCE most delightful to be seen, 
 
 I stood with youth and beauty crown'd, 
 Till cruel foes, with weapons keen, 
 
 First threw me prostrate on the ground ; 
 
 i 
 
 i 
 
139 
 
 There as I wounded helpless laid, 
 And rudely trod beneath their feet, 
 
 My colour chang'd, my strength decayed, 
 My body burnt with scorching heat. 
 
 At length, like corpse in hearse convey'd, 
 My scatter'd parts were hither sent, 
 
 Of which a stately pile being made, 
 Myself am my own monument. 
 
 Ponder this well, then look on me, 
 And think of man's mortality. 
 
 CLXVIIT. 
 
 Ye British wits, and lovely fair, define 
 My parents, and to theirs my name subjoin. 
 They boast of strength, are of gigantic size, 
 To a vast bulk, and w r ondrous stature rise ; 
 And beauty in deformity comprize. 
 Admir'd when rough protub'rant warts adhere, 
 Grow rich and prosper each revolving year, 
 But poverty entail on all that's near. 
 Unlike my sire, I seem of pigmy race, 
 Tho* of a beauteous texture, form and face ; 
 This difference 'twixt us also will appear. 
 He centuries survives, I scarce a year. 
 
140 
 
 Strange oppositcs concurring, jointly meet, 
 
 Distasteful bitter, and delightful sweet; 
 
 The darkest sable with th» I white, 
 
 The flexible and brittle all unit 
 
 For innate virtues oft I'm soundly bang'd, 
 
 And ere I'm born am destin'd to be hang'd ; 
 
 But when at feasts sometimes I take a place, 
 
 A pleasing ardour's seen in ev'ry face ; 
 
 By each soft hand Fm graspM with eager haste, 
 
 And by the lovely fair am close embracM : 
 
 But oh, surprising change! alternate hate, 
 
 Fm instant doom'd to suffer Sis'ra's fate; 
 
 Some bite, some scratch, some pinch and wound 1 
 
 sore; 
 Some hug me hard, and squeeze behind the door. 
 Some fiay my skin, anatomize my bones, 
 Dissect my scull, and clear my brains at once. 
 But sudden turn of fickle fate ! In fine, 
 Fm last regaFd with rich and racy wine. 
 
 CLXIX. 
 
 YOU beauteous ladies of the British isle, 
 Well skill'd in sayings dark, and problems hard, 
 Rouse up your wits, and bring me to your ken, 
 Then to the wond'ring world my name declare, 
 When first the wisest architect of heaven 
 
141 
 
 Had form'd this world by his Almighty fiat, 
 
 A work stupendous, and as good as great, 
 
 I then no being had ; how long this globe 
 
 Had on its axis whirl'd, and heavVs bright lamp, 
 
 With genial rays, produced plants, flowers and fruits, 
 
 Ere I came forth to fright and terrify, 
 
 Sages and wise men are not yet agreed. 
 
 But seeing now I am, I shall remain 
 
 Till the last fire calcines the universe. 
 
 My nature is amphibious ; lands and seas 
 
 Do me contain, or ponds, or lakes, or rivers • 
 
 In mountains high, and vales below, I dwell, 
 
 In lions fierce, and ghastly crocodiles. 
 
 Tigers me cherish, and the ravenous shark, 
 
 Well arrn'd with teeth, ten thick, and shovel nose, 
 
 And many of the land and finny kind. 
 
 Some men me love, but I by most am hated, 
 
 Who start and tremble, and at my name look pale. 
 
 But why this cause of fear ? since I am friendly, 
 
 And hospitable entertainment give. 
 
 CLXX. 
 ESTEEM'D where'er I come, my usage kind, 
 At every house I entertainment find ; 
 If at a feast I chance not to be there, 
 Jn haste for me is sent a messenger. 
 
lit 
 
 The king or emperor would uneasy be 
 
 Should be sit down without my company : 
 
 The meanest subject too, when he should eat, 
 
 If I be absent, wifl not test? hie m* 
 
 And here, per u'JI call me trencher friend, 
 
 Beceiu tartly att» 
 
 I taste your dishes all, 1 must confess, 
 
 Sometimes indeed to very great excess. 
 
 Yet this is not because I take delight 
 
 In feasts, like some base greedy parasite. 
 
 To serve and please you is my sole intent ; 
 
 For this I spend my strength, myself am spent. 
 
 In short I am an universal good, 
 
 Almost as necessary as your food ; 
 
 Fure without spot, and from corruption free ; 
 
 And saints themselves have been eompar'd to me 
 
 CLXXI. 
 PRAY, ladies, give ear to one that is come 
 From parts far remote, thro* climates docs run. 
 J Tis air gives me strength, and rags give me birth, 
 Ay, and nurs'd like a babe, I spring from the earth. 
 Decreed 'twas at first, and my humours do show, 
 1 shoot like an arrow that glides from a bow. 
 Excluded from wisdom, all homage I pay, 
 To the rich and the poor ; to |h J beauteous, I say. 
 
143 
 
 With wings as a dove; I fly like a lark, 
 In mounting the skies, and return like a dart. 
 My eyes are transparent, my body's the same, 
 In ature six feet, the Muses proclaim ; 
 M ature thus monstrous, annex'd Pve a tail. 
 When at rest round my shoulders I twine like an e«l ; 
 If mov'd by soft passion, or touch'd by the wind, 
 1 To ascend in the air, and sport Pm inclin'd. 
 What's really more strange, when this progress I make, 
 A light I can borrow, and the same with me take : 
 So by night or by day this pleasure I have. 
 That if darkened by clouds, a light thus I crave. 
 My temper's so taking, no creature me minds, 
 I humbly confess; nay, fate me confines, 
 That my master's commands I'm oblig'd to obey, 
 When I please him by night, and him humour by day. 
 Nay, further than this; 'twould expose some to laugh- 
 ter, 
 I to one renounce him, and he's my deserter; 
 This seeming is strange, yet true I protest, 
 Like a coward in battle, who thinks himself blest 
 When free from his friend, and got at some distance, 
 Then by words and by threats, he makes his resist- 
 ance : 
 A»d thus 'tis with me, when my master's far off, 
 He obstreperously threats, at my nature will scoff. 
 I've publish'd thus far, I can say no more, 
 Your aid for the rest I humbly implore : 
 
144 
 
 If of quickness j or wit, you'd merit the fame, 
 You'll gain them by presently telling my name 
 
 CLXX1L 
 
 TIIO' an odd kind of fowl, when you hit on my 
 
 name, 
 Fair ladies, you'll own me a bird of the game. 
 All my wings are well poiz'd, which in number are 
 
 four, 
 Tho' a few of my brethren are furnish'd with more. 
 They're as white as a swan ; but the wonder's the 
 
 greater, 
 When my wings must be clipp'd — to make me fly bet- 
 ter. 
 And it's strange, since my body so small and so light 
 
 is, 
 That the longer my wings are, the slower my flight isj 
 For to tell you the truth, (which must needs raise your 
 
 laughter) 
 My body flies first, and draws my wings after ; 
 And it's easy to prove that Pm right in my notion, 
 Since the heavier my bulk is, the swifter my motion. 
 Yet observe, and you'll find, that my wings, when I 
 
 rise, 
 Are before ; but I turn them behind in a trice. 
 Tho* my body's in substance as small as a wren's, 
 Yet I toil and I spin, for the good of my friends. 
 
145 
 
 But when once my skill fails me, I meet with hard 
 measure, 
 
 For I'm scornM and rejected, and trampled at plea- 
 sure ; 
 
 Tho', what cou'd their fiercest resentments do more? 
 
 For they tossM me, and thump'd me, and box'd nie 
 before ! 
 
 One hint more to prove me, we are not deceivers, 
 
 Our name-sakes you'll find if you go to the weavers. 
 
 CXXXIII. 
 OFFSPRING of an illustrious sire, 
 A swarthy negro I appear : 
 As soon as born, I post away, 
 For people curse me if I stay ; 
 A more unwelcome guest there's none ; 
 Stout men shed tears unless I'm gone : 
 Why don't they kill me ? then you'll ask, 
 No, that's too difficult a task. 
 But they my nature's frailty know, 
 Leave me to work my overthrow. 
 Such is my constitution, I 
 (Like modern libertines) soon die 
 By a full swing of liberty. 
 So men are oft at no small charge 
 To humour me to rove at large, 
 o 
 
1 10 
 
 When once jot clear, in wanton pn.lc, 
 I (like the beggar mounted) ri 
 And va, as (lid, 
 
 Yet can I in no fortn lie hid : 
 
 My dusky hue, which nc Iiange, 
 
 Beh \ 1 1 range, 
 
 E'en till my ck-a'h, which now draws nigh ; 
 speak truth, th' EphemYon fly 
 as long as 1. 
 But 'twixt us yet the difference lies, 
 lit- falls to th/ earth, I mount the skies. 
 
 ^-vvvvvw 
 
 '.LXXIY. 
 
 YE curious searchers into wonders, hear 
 The strange account of an old traveller. 
 From distant parts by sea and land I'm comr, 
 Welcome, a long expected traveller, home. 
 Cloth'd all in rags, and white with age or can , 
 The marks of time and different climes I bear. 
 Examine my improvements as you please ; 
 I speak above twelve dtiFrent languages. 
 I'll tell you truths; but if I chance to lie, 
 Allow me, pray, a traveler's liberty 
 .Ml Europe, large as 'tis, I've fraveli'd o'er, 
 Touch'd at each port of the Adriatic shore, 
 ic'd the regions of the sooty Moor. 
 
 s 
 
 i 
 
 
147 
 
 Boih Indies I have visited, and been 
 
 Where Sandys, Drake, and Dampier ne'er were seen 
 
 How oft have I been taken prisoner ? 
 
 Burnt by the Turks ! and no fictitious scar, 
 
 But real marks from barb'rous hands I wear. 
 
 How oft have been by storms and tempest tost ? 
 
 And drove by adverse winds from coast to coast ? 
 
 Shipwreck'd, wash'd overboard ; nay once, I swear, 
 
 Was taken up and carried in the air, 
 
 (I won't be positive to say how far) 
 
 And set down safe on land : what makes you smile ? 
 
 I've known it done sometime above a mile. 
 
 Of mermaids, monsters, and such sights, I don't 
 
 Think it worth while to give you an account. 
 
 Engagements, prizes, are a nobler theme > 
 
 Worth my recital, worthy your esteem. 
 
 But I should tire you, should I once begin ; 
 
 The sun wou'd set, and day-light wou'd shut in, 
 
 Ere I cou'u tell the hazards I have run ; 
 
 For what I've bore, exceeds what I have done. 
 
 Ladies, whether you know my name or no, 
 
 Yet to my case your wonted pity show. 
 
 
 CLXXV. 
 
 AN endless maze, involv'd in shades of night, 
 I am ; but all my inner parts are light. 
 
 o2 
 
US 
 
 Mac'd on my left, nine ready bank* 
 Who pay me all the sums that I demand ; 
 Intrinsically rich, as I am poor, 
 
 I with millions can inci ir store. 
 
 Tho' courts of justice pay me deference. 
 And I'm allow M by them to speak my M 
 I no precedence claim, uor meet disgrace, 
 
 I am most esteem'd when last, in place. 
 I make no figure thro' earth's spacious round, 
 Yet do 1 all the works of nature bound. 
 
 CLXXVI. 
 FROM small beginning, and extraction low, 
 
 To wealth and plenty by degrees I rose ; 
 All pleased to see me thrive and greater grow, 
 
 And none, at first, to my advancement foes. 
 
 At length, rebellious slaves who eat my bread, 
 Bound and convey'd me from my native soil, 
 
 Then, leaving me with blows and bruises dead. 
 Of all my treasure did me rudely spoil. 
 
 Such my hard fate, till some ingenious friend 
 
 Kindly contriv'd to raise me once again ; 
 
 And did both skill and pains to fit me lend, 
 
 r that high office which I now sustain. 
 
149 
 
 Have you not seen the glittering helmet ward, 
 From the brave hero's head, the hostile blow ? 
 
 Tis mine, like that, the fair from harm to guard, 
 Who never was, nor will be beauty's foe. 
 
 This task their favours gratefully requite, 
 Gay silk and ribands of their gift I wear; 
 
 And, when clear skies to pleasing walks invite, 
 I still am call'd on to attend the fair, 
 
 CLXXVIL 
 
 Y£ guardian angels of this happy isle, 
 Descend with speedy care, our fears beguile. 
 Ye beauteous females summon all your charms, 
 And save two faithful slaves from foreign arms. 
 Never did servants more deserve redress, 
 Never was industry rewarded l< 
 Think for your sakes what vast exploits we've done, 
 Contemn'd the torrid and the frigid zone ; 
 Inur'd to hardships ev'ry climate try'd, 
 Arabia's heat, and Greenland's cold defy'd. 
 Sometimes you'd swear the place wherein we dwell 
 Was ^Etna's summit or the mouth of hell, 
 And we th' infernal furies lodg'd beneath, 
 With vengeful fire-brands flaming 'twixt our teeth. 
 Anon we're cold, despis'd, devoid of care, 
 Expos'd to all th' inclemencies of air : 
 
 o3 
 
150 
 
 '« d thu> iikr 006 of earth, 
 
 We to .1 iw'ivikI prelate owe oar birth ; 
 
 And clothe the naked, and the hungry lord, 
 Relieve the needy and support their breed ; 
 
 nerousj thousands yearly we maintain; 
 So honest, all collusions we disdain. 
 Tho J chief directon of a wondrous trade, 
 
 We ne'er our neighbour's properties invade, 
 Nor plunder sharers, nor our friends forestall. 
 Nor aggrandize ourselves by others fall. 
 UnoeM to ill, not knowing to offend, 
 Only with matchless innocence contend. 
 
 CLXXVIII. 
 
 NOT far from St. Paul's a dependant on trade 
 
 To a grandee of credit his homage once paid ; 
 
 A scholar was he, and of learning profound, 
 
 And the gentleman much in his words did abound. 
 
 His friend with a nod having call'd him more near, 
 
 And whisper'd him something, not proper to hear, 
 
 He bowing march'd ofT— when, at taking a glass, 
 
 I askM who that complaisant visitor was ? 
 
 His friend' paus'd a while — then reply'd, " Sir, that man 
 
 " Is commander in chief of a numerous clan : 
 
 " Tho* I can with a look, you see, keep him in awe, 
 
 ee Pi! assure you to some he's viceroy, or bashaw. 
 
151 
 
 w His origin's Dutch, as his title displays, 
 
 " Like the states, o'er his vassals despotic he sways; 
 
 <c And without any trial, in passionate sallies, 
 
 " Sends hundreds together fast bound to the gallies : 
 
 " Having learnt long ago the chief art of a sovereign, 
 
 " As Machiavel taught him, distribute and govern. 
 
 (t Add to which, in his honour he's nice to a point, 
 
 " And can scarce bear a word that is plac'd out of 
 
 joint ; 
 tc Still full of his knowledge, impos'd on the crowd, 
 " And no man in Europe more things e'er avow'd. 
 " To hear him, you'd swear he could execute wonders, 
 " Yet no man alive is so guilty of blunders. 
 " Nay more — when the whim he takes into his head, 
 " The living he quits to Converse with the dead. 
 " Therefore, when you meet him, I'd have you be 
 
 " civil, 
 " For I can assure you he deals with the devil ; 
 M Whom he sometimes lets loose, as was evident late, 
 " When his myrmidons threaten'd the Gallican state. 
 " Such repeated deep wounds in blood red did appear 
 " As, still fresh to be seen, will to heal take a year." 
 I, who always despis'd little meanness of pride, 
 And to suffer ill usage have ever defy'd ! 
 To his friend thus rejoin'd — Sir, have patience a little ; 
 Pll correct all his faults, never fear, to a tittle. 
 
i\\I ofl by thoughtless mattei foi m 
 PbitaMphera ha\ e said ; 
 e will of n 
 M i\ be tVum nothing made. 
 
 nning have, nor cud : 
 
 iy impartial sway 
 Hie earth, with her revolving moon, 
 Uict obedience pa] , 
 
 re not the sun still in my ej 
 In wild confusion hurl'd, 
 ts from their destin'd orbs wou\l stray, 
 And world be crushed on world. 
 
 inij the father of the gods, 
 Of my command allows ; 
 Tho* some may think he stoops with age, 
 'Tis but to me he bows. 
 
 Tho s Jove who 'stride his eagle sits, 
 
 Bears thunder in his hand ,* 
 His eagle soars as I direct, 
 
 Or stoops at my command. 
 
 Mars, tho' the sturdy god of war, 
 Ne'er durst dispute my rights ; 
 
 
153 
 
 But as the vilest of paltroons 
 Most publicly submits. 
 
 Tho' ladies favours none should boast, 
 
 Yet to give praises due, 
 Venus, suspected for a jilt, 
 
 Has still to me been true. 
 
 Hermes, more fam'd for subtle tricks 
 Than Barrington e'er was, 
 
 I without irons can confine 
 To bounds he ne'er can pass. 
 
 But tho' o'er gods and mighty worlds 
 
 I such dominion have, 
 You, ladies, ne'er can wish to find 
 . A more obsequious slave. 
 
 For thro' the utmost void of space 
 
 I fly at your command ; 
 Or to your snuff-box stand confm'd, 
 
 Or at your table tend. 
 
 CLXXX. 
 
 NATURE the richest of her treasures cave, 
 The artful structure of mv frame to build ; 
 
154 
 
 STho 1 I mo proper life or tnotitri havG, 
 
 nkiml to me their awful h( fefd. 
 
 part of kings ittprison'd are by 
 
 ivl' me place they gladly think it fit; 
 When ril i\c them liberty, 
 
 They'll fight and die for fear of gaining it. 
 
 The hands that made me ne'er my right possess; 
 
 The hands that gave me ne'er my owners were ; 
 Nor they who win me hardly e'er can guess 
 
 How clearly bought their wishM-for conquests arc. 
 
 CLXXXI. 
 
 LET kings and tyrants boast no more 
 Of vassals and despotic pow'r ; 
 By nature's law to me is given 
 The greatest power under heav'n : 
 The proudest monarchs I confine, 
 Who silently themselves resign, 
 And own obedience (by a nod) 
 To me, more than a demi-god. 
 So universal is my sway, 
 That high and low my laws obey, 
 Yet least of all the industr'ous few, 
 Who' oft withhold the tribute due, 
 Yet own my pow'r and bless it too. 
 
 
 } 
 
155 
 
 When strife tumultous threatens high, 
 None can appease so well as I. 
 When arguments successless prove, 
 Nor duty, gratitude, nor love 
 The jarring contest can remove, 
 By softest means (such is my pow'r) 
 I calm the rage, and peace restore. 
 But tho' such wonders I perform, 
 (To still a tempest, lay a storm) 
 Before intemperance footing gain'd 
 My empire was where darkness reign'd ; 
 But now bright Sol, with blushing ray, 
 Is witness of my potent sway. 
 Nay more (tho' 'tis a shame to tell) 
 Pm in the temple known too well, 
 But in the playhouse seldom dwell. 
 If more of me you seek to know, 
 Inquire not of the sons of woe, 
 But of the happy, and the gay, 
 Who to me ready homage pay ; 
 Tho' while they in my pow'r remain, 
 Shou'd you inquire, 'twill be in vain. 
 
 CLXXXII. 
 W r HO is my sire ? and what am I ? 
 He ne'er was born, I never die ; 
 
 i 
 
 i 
 
156 
 
 Lthj like mortal man ; 
 ii pain secure I still remain. 
 High in the air I'm often - 
 And often on the verdant green; 
 Still, faithful, on my Bire attend, 
 And all h^ purposes befriend; 
 Till thrust out by a younger brother, 
 Then I'm compell'd to serve another; 
 To mankind, then, I yield support, 
 \\ no greatly my assistance court : 
 Nor do their secret thoughts conceal, 
 Which I, in silence, still reveal. 
 But I expose myself too bare ; 
 You may from hence my name declare. 
 
 CLXXXIII. 
 WALKING alone near the approach of night, 
 Whilst verdant beauties entertained my sight, 
 And clouds aloft with golden edgings bound, 
 The linnets fill'd the woods with tuneful sound ; 
 
 ionster strange did fancy here present, 
 A brainless tool, yet truly eloquent ; 
 Yea Mercury himself she may defy, 
 For languages in such variety. 
 At church, at mass, at courts, at balls, at plays, 
 This emissary lurks to steal their phrase, 
 And what she hears she does relate always. 
 
 } 
 
157 
 
 (Perhaps you'll think she's deaf, but I aver, 
 
 She's got more ears than months i 3 th' kalendar) 
 
 Yet condescending is this Proteus, 
 
 Where cannon's war she's all magnanimous ; 
 
 When sweet Lucinda sings, reviv'd is she, 
 
 And joins the concert in a matchless key ; 
 
 When with the learn'd her elocution flows, 
 
 Soft as the fleeces of descending snows ; 
 
 In grief she kindly bears an equal share, 
 
 When with deep sighs we mourn the absent fair, 
 
 13ut ah ! base jilt, sometimes she will depose 
 
 Uncertainties of which she nothing knows; 
 
 And to be short, if once you aggravate, 
 
 She'll never leave, but still sustain debate, 
 
 Not to be conquer'd by a Billingsgate; 
 
 Yet gives consent to all you say or do : 
 
 O ! wondrous strange, but yet as really true. 
 
 She roves around the globe with ev'ry blast, 
 
 And till its dissolution she will last. 
 
 CLXXX1Y. 
 THE bards who wrote in times of old, 
 Of many strange productions told : 
 Of broods of harpies, and the snake 
 That took its rise from Lerna Lake : 
 Of sphinxes too, and gorgons dire, 
 And fell chimeras breathing fire. 
 
 i 
 
Strange monsters ! hard to be n 
 Aught tribe o 'is\l to 
 
 01 I lerbertu they likewise tell, 
 The triple-headed dog of bell ; 
 
 , Deities enough to fright one, 
 Sylvanus, FaonUS, Pan, and Triton; 
 Triton the trumpeter, an odd-fish, 
 With human face, and tail a cod -fish. 
 Wild mixtures ! yet you may in me 
 A stranger composition see; 
 Old Chiron was half man, half hor 
 The Minotaur still something worse ; 
 To view my frame, and then judge whether 
 
 I don't exceed them both together. 
 
 In me you'll find what's worth your Boeing, 
 
 A triple, strange, compounded being. 
 
 As for the sphinx and harpy race, 
 
 Like them I boast an angel's face ; 
 
 But tho' endu'd with fire and fury, 
 
 I'm no chimera, 111 assure you. 
 
 In nature strangely I'm divid 
 
 And tho' b : 
 
 To reason I have fair pretence, 
 
 And claim a double share of sl 
 
 Yet underhand I must confess, 
 
 Tho' more than man, I'm something less. 
 
 And for the most part, needs must 
 t than an a 
 
 
159 
 
 Yet some, perhaps, would claim alliance, 
 
 But know, I bid them all defiance, 
 
 And, to exclude such vain pretenders, 
 
 Pm altogether of all genders ; 
 
 Both male, and female, common too, 
 
 A seeming paradox, but true. 
 
 Once I was rare, but now I own 
 
 Pm common and familiar grown ; 
 
 People now view me far and near 
 
 Without astonishment or fear. 
 
 For we pass over and despise 
 
 What's obvious and before our eyes : 
 
 While what we think a rare invention 
 
 Soon gains our wonder and attention. 
 
 Had I appealed at Troy, my dread 
 
 Must quickly thro* that state have spread, 
 
 For such a prodigy as I am 
 
 Had shaken the whole realm of Priam : 
 
 Whole hecatombs, in many a nation, 
 
 Had not sufficed for expiation. 
 
 — Frame to yourselves, the Poet begs, 
 
 A three-back'd monster with eight legs. 
 
 PlacM like no animal's alive, 
 
 Oil this side three on th J other five. 
 
 Then range the world, look round all nature, 
 
 And say — what prodigy is greater. 
 
 f 2 
 
160 
 
 ( IAWV. 
 COMSj Ladies, try your ikill, our aame* explore* 
 \ ou ofl ha\ e seen us u 
 
 Have Io\\l, admir'd us, pres.s'd us to youi fiBM 
 And favour'd us with many a loud embrace. 
 Like as two egga by the small pullet laid, 
 
 Two angels oppoaite with art conveyed. 
 
 Thus plae'd we most irregularly move, 
 
 can describe the aukward paths we ro\ e . 
 For in meanders intricate we stray, 
 And meet and part a hundred times a day. 
 At plays, and balls, we your diversion share, 
 With your devotion mingle, with your pray'r : 
 But, notwithstanding all this gaudy show, 
 We often prove the messengers of woe. 
 Our friendship, to no sex or age confin'd, 
 Extends its bounty to all human kind. 
 Though some have envied our delusive state, 
 The transient blisses are the sport of fate ; 
 As beauty fades, we soon become despis'd., 
 Are turn'd off penny less, no longer priz'd ; 
 Commence a state of poverty and woe, 
 
 . dless what we do or where we go; 
 Yet here we love, and, when Fate takes but one, 
 The other's void of comfort, quite undone. 
 
161 
 
 CLXXXVI. 
 LIKE the productions of the pregnant earth, 
 The jarring elements first gave me birth ; 
 And some adepts will strenuously report, 
 That stiil my parents are my chief support. 
 All o'er the surface of this earthly sphere 
 As much familiar as the clothes we wear ; 
 And mostly vary with the various climes,. 
 Affinity preserving with the times ; 
 Nor, like the prince, can I all parties please, 
 No more on land, than on the faithless seas. 
 Sometimes I smile, sometimes I weep amain ; 
 Sometimes I frown, then quickly smile again ; 
 Like blustering bullies boldly force my way, 
 Anon am passive and as meek as they. 
 .No Billingsgate e'er yet could scold so loud, 
 Nor no quack-doctor so harangue a crowd. 
 The country Farmer courts me all the year, 
 And Belles and Beaux when gay they would appear. 
 Some Virtuosos of judicial tribe,. 
 Who rules and maxims to mankind prescribe, 
 •Making their judgments of the times to conic, 
 The fall of kingdoms, or the fate of Koine, 
 Loretcl my temper, which way I incline, 
 Either when jovial, or when saturnine. 
 ]\Iy ways abstruse, my laws too intricate, 
 nurce beyond their skill to penetrate ; 
 p 3 
 
Kv2 
 bj latent causea yn unknown, 
 
 :n\l by power quite foreign to my own. 
 
 Some modern sophs licentiously compare 
 My frequent changes to th J inconstant fair. 
 
 CLXXXVIL 
 ! All: LadieSj my cotl irnish'd with hay, 
 
 With a canopy over 111 -ins in May ; 
 
 Mqreoverj my p< tho 1 very moan, 
 
 To see me ten thousand admirers have b< 
 
 Who court me with di'monds and jewels of gold, 
 
 But I will not accept them altho' I am old. 
 
 For while I to Kings can be free of access, 
 
 And Princes and Princesses aid in address, 
 
 And pleasure the Ladies, as well as the beau, 
 
 To stoop to a peasant is surely too low. 
 
 Some hundreds of slaves I daily command. 
 
 Who all in punctilio around me do sfand ; 
 
 "\\ hose clothing is gay, and they wear chains of gold, 
 
 With beautiful necks white as snow to behold; 
 
 And standing in order, and ready to fight, 
 
 They attend on their mistress by day and b\ r night. 
 
 Besides a bright army, in gallant attire, 
 
 All cloth'd are in yellow, who can but admire ? 
 
 And each has his weapon himself to defend, 
 
 Tho' all arrant sharpers, you'll find, in tJ 
 
163 
 
 CXXXVIII. 
 Alegoric Enigma. 
 A child was born, but not an infant, 
 For he upon the very instant 
 That he was born, could tell his name, 
 And make his title good to Fame. 
 Yearly eclipses he foretold 
 Before he was a twelve-month old ; 
 Glasses, of various dimensions, 
 To view the rise and the declensions 
 Of Luna, and her kindred stars, 
 Bright Venus, Mercury, and Mars, 
 He made for Newton and Descartes, 
 Philosophers of different parties, 
 Who might have puzzled on for ever, 
 Tho' they were reckon'd vastly clever, 
 But for his prism angular, 
 That shows what light and colours are. 
 He first the secret did explore 
 Of killing, quicker than before, 
 By powder, which swift death impart>, 
 Instead of lingering spears and dar 
 By his dexterity was rais'd, 
 What much posterity amaz'd, 
 The Trajan pillar. — All allow 
 He made Stone-Henge, tlio' none know how, 
 Or where materials procur'd, 
 That Live for ages past endurM. 
 
164 
 hi the mariner tin mod 
 
 id ; 
 Tum'd mills I 
 And often turnM dull thil kt ; 
 
 . and rid' 
 
 And sometimes turnM his hand to fiddles, 
 Which brought forth rach contrasted nw 
 Twuuld ma! »dl and make you too sick. 
 
 Long has he liv'd, and Jiveth Still, 
 he doubtless will. 
 If you would find him out, ye fair, 
 Seek him near Hanover's gay square. 
 
 CLXXXIX. 
 
 MOST characters two different aspects wear, 
 
 One foul as sin, and one divinely fair, 
 
 As friends or enemies reports declare. 
 
 An instance I, this general truth to prove, 
 
 Who deadly hate excite and tend'rest love ; 
 
 And as in character, in form, you'll se-e, 
 
 Complexion, dress, the same diversity. 
 
 First, you're to learn, 1 am a living creatu; 
 
 But yet observe, I don't possess one feature : 
 
 I'm black, I'm white, Fm yellow, red, and brown ; 
 
 Sometimes Fm very small, sometimes well grown : 
 
 Slender and delicate I oft appear, 
 
 And frequently a coarse plump figure wear ; 
 
 i 
 
165 
 
 In rags am seen, and such a dirty plight ; 
 
 Ail own I am not fit to come in sight : 
 
 Yet oft in gold and silver I appear, 
 
 Adorn'd with braids of lovely coloured hair, 
 
 And pearls and gems of richest lustre wear. 
 
 Now that my shape, complexion, dress, are told, 
 
 My different qualities Fll next unfold. 
 
 Vice, Folly, Vanity, from me proceed, 
 
 And I perform each prudent, virtuous deed ; 
 
 In acts of sweet humanity eniploy'd, 
 
 Yet through my means is innocence destroyed ; 
 
 The greatest earthly blessings I bestow, 
 
 And I create unutterable woe. 
 
 Proud Courtiers at my shrine submissive bend, 
 
 And love-sick swains to me petitions send : 
 
 Yet I to Courtiers often prove a foe, 
 
 And lovers' hopes as often overthrow. 
 
 Pve traveTd into ev'ry foreign land, 
 
 And can the languages of all command ; 
 
 Yet tho' so learn'd, I may be thought a dunce, 
 
 When I avow, I can't my name pronounce. 
 
 Tho' of a wondrous share of pow'r possest, 
 
 — For men with crowns and sceptres I invest, 
 
 Give wealth and titles, pensions, or a place, 
 
 Can doom to penury, or foul disgrace — 
 
 Yet, against destiny, I vainly strive, 
 
 Sp.t3 of my pow'r I've oft been burnt alive. M 
 
 i 
 
 i 
 
166 
 
 EC. 
 
 MY pedigree I trace from heav'n. 
 To mankind, by the God* was giv'n. 
 
 ■.id, and when I'm known, 
 tun I think you'll own. 
 We ey« that pel H things, 
 
 And have besides celestial wings, 
 With these I visit every place, 
 Causes, effects, and myst'ries trace. 
 I visit heaven, I visit hell, 
 
 1 secrets of the deep can tell. 
 The sweetest harmony is mine, 
 And in sublimest strains I shine ; 
 The sciences, and ev'ry art, 
 Thro* me their various pow'rs impart. 
 In politics I oft engage, 
 And war, with both sides, seem to wage* 
 With Fox and Burke Fm hand and glove, 
 And Sheridan all know I love : 
 You'd think these Patriots me engrossed, 
 But no ! I favour Pitt the most. 
 Tho* rich myself, in gen'ral I 
 My children doom to poverty; 
 And tho' I am man's greatest pride, 
 Too often I for want have dy'd. M. 
 
167 
 cxci. 
 
 A shining wit pronounc'd of late, 
 That every acting magistrate 
 Is water in a freezing state. 
 
 CXCII. 
 THE greatest wonder of the land, 
 My origin none understand, 
 Tho' to discover it, the sage 
 Kas been employ'd in many an age. 
 Yet this by all is understood, 
 That I was known before the flood. 
 None that e'er breath'd such pow'r can boast, 
 For I in all things " rule the roast." 
 The beggar I can make a peer, 
 And in a hero's heart cause fear : 
 The coward's arm with courage nen c , 
 From duty make the loyal swerve. 
 Health, peace, and ev'ry blessing g 
 And man of each of these bereave ; 
 Hope and despair I can impart, 
 And wind, as pleases me, the heart, 
 Day-light I shun, am seldom found 
 Till Luna takes her nightly round. 
 Mortals I lead where'er I will, 
 Place them in Paradise or Hell. 
 
.Murder commit without a crime, 
 Ancst the powerful band of Tin 
 ( h forward move it if I pic 
 
 In short, all things can do with east 
 
 I've more vagaries than an ape, 
 
 No mortal from my tricks can 'scape : 
 
 The heir apparent, if I choose, 
 
 Must take a cinder-wench for spouse; 
 
 The haughtiest dame throughout the land 
 
 Must to a link-boy give her hand ; 
 
 And ought to own Fm very kind, 
 
 If to Jack-Ketch she is not join'd. 
 
 I can make statues dance a jig, 
 
 Or make a jack-ass comb a wig : 
 
 When to my whims I give full scope, 
 
 Make a Chief Justice dance the rope; 
 
 And what's more wonderful than these, 
 
 Orators silence, if I please. 
 
 Tho* man I visit, yet 'tis clear 
 
 I never to his sight appear ; 
 
 One further hint, and then Fve done, 
 
 You'll have this visit, ten to one, 
 
 Before a week its course has run. 
 
 i 
 
 M. 
 
169 
 
 CHARADES. 
 
 AlY first is in the chicken's breast, 
 
 My second in the wave, 
 My third in suit of scarlet drest, 
 
 For which his life he gave. 
 
 II. 
 
 THE praise of genius and of gems 
 
 Will in my first appear; 
 A negative's reverse, you'll own, 
 
 Is in my second clear; 
 And in my third, has oft been seen 
 A beauteous dame and would-be queen. 
 
 III. 
 
 MY first doth affliction denote, 
 
 Which my second was born to endure ; 
 My third is a sure antidote 
 
 That affliction to soften and cure. 
 
w 
 
 I\. 
 
 MY I blessing and comfort through life, 
 
 I smaller you'll own in my second ; 
 The whole's a misfortune admits no relief, 
 ne greater I I <i reckon'd. 
 
 V. 
 
 MY first bears semblance to the web 
 
 Of Ithica's. chaste queen, 
 Like that, this finds each night undo 
 
 The work the day has seen. 
 
 Great William to my second 01 
 ! kingdom, fame, and crown ; 
 rriors and travellers alike 
 service grateful own. 
 
 *hird describes the peer of peers, 
 Who likes the charms of ripen* d years. M. 
 
 VI. 
 first oft hangs upon a lady's arm, 
 Yet gives a jealous husband no alarm ; 
 My second doth the place of feet supply 
 To those who neither walk, nor run, nor fly ; 
 
171 
 
 My third's the rival of each tempting toast ; 
 But when it's most caress'd, it suffers most. 
 
 VII. 
 CURSES and blessings from my first proceed, 
 As very oft in history we read ; 
 The reeling sot, with half-clos'd eyes, 
 In vain t' effect my second tries ; 
 Without my third, you'll clearly note, 
 A good Charade m seldom wrote. 
 
 VIII. 
 MY first, is the noise of each drone in the nation, 
 And, when left alone, but a bad recreation ; 
 My second, that wretch who attacks you by night, 
 Who robs you of blood, and deprives you of sight ; 
 My third, is the species of wit, we are told, 
 Which was us'd by the jesters and witlings of old. 
 
 IX. 
 BRIGHT and gloomy is my first, 
 
 Emblem of the fate of man ; 
 Thousands of my second were 
 
 Created, when my first began : 
 One will in my third appear 
 Who's born and dies within the year. M. 
 Q2 
 
 
179 
 
 \ 
 
 MY firatj From coy and cruel maids you fear; 
 M\ MTuml shun, or elae destruction*! near; 
 The whole's i blank, devoid ofall pretence 
 irl or artifice, to wif <>r new 
 
 •X^V^/VN/'WO'X/ 
 
 XIV. 
 
 HE can seldom obtain my first, who labours for my 
 >nd ; and few like to do my third. M. 
 
 XI. 
 
 Addressed by the Right Honourable Charles Fox to the 
 Duke of Northumberland. 
 I'LL employ my first in praise of my second, if 
 you'll give me my third. 
 
 XII. 
 WHAT I do, what I do not, and what vou are. 
 
 XIII. 
 MY first is, equality ; my second, inferiority ; my 
 third, superiority. 
 
 ; 
 
173 
 
 XV. 
 
 MY first is of no use without my second ; and my 
 third is to be seen every day in St. James Vstreet. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 MY first is wise and foolish ; my second, the phy- 
 sician's study; my third, the pleasant ornament of an 
 house. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 MY first communicates to the human race joy and 
 sorrow, love and hate, hope and despair ; my se- 
 cond re-tains what is gross, and rejects what is deli- 
 cate ; my third is reflective. M. 
 
 XVIII. 
 MY third is under my second, and surrounds my 
 first. 
 
 XIX. 
 
 WHEN you stole my first, I lost my second y and 
 I wish you may ever possess my third. 
 
 Q3 
 
\x. 
 
 M\ i prop, my lecond'i a prop, my third's 
 
 a prop. 
 
 XXL 
 cufc /'// the Right Honourable Charles I 
 Addrcued to < I 
 
 LIMIT me, Madam, to come uncalled into your 
 Ladyship's presence, and by dividing myself, add 
 greatly to my consequence. So exalted am 1 in the 
 character of my first, that I have trampled 00 the pride 
 of kings, and the greatest potentates have bowed 
 down to embrace me; yet the dirtiest kennel in the 
 dirtiest street, is not too foul to have me for its in- 
 mate. 
 
 In my second, what infinite variety ! I am rich as 
 the eastern nabob, yet poor as the weeping object of 
 your benevolence; I am mild and gentle as the spring, 
 yet savage and cruel as the wintry blast ; I am young, 
 beautiful, and happy, yet old, deformed, and wretch- 
 ed : 'tis from the highest authority I dare pronounce 
 myself your superior ; yet few instances are there to 
 prove it, and many are the proofs against it — But your 
 Ladyship is tired, and wishes my reunion : it is done; 
 and I have no other merit than in remaining, as be- 
 fore, 
 
 Your Ladyship's 
 
 Humble servant. 
 

 175 
 
 XXII. 
 
 B1Y second is a man of might:, who, when he is In 
 luck, may do my first ; my third bestows equal plea- 
 sure on him and a peer of the realm. M. 
 
 XXIII. 
 My first, if lost, is a disgrace, 
 
 Unless misfortune bear the blame ; 
 My second, though it can't replace 
 
 The heavy loss, will hide the shame : 
 My whole has life, and wings the air, 
 
 Delights in sweetness to repose, 
 Oftimes, unseen, attends the fair, 
 
 And sips the honey of the rose. 
 
 XXIV. 
 MY first and second are the lot 
 
 Of each delighted guest, 
 When ev'ry sorrow is forgot 
 
 At Spencer's social feast ; 
 But both, united, form a word 
 
 Which, when those hours are past, 
 We grieve to find, howe'er deferr'd, 
 
 We must pronounce at iast. 
 
176 
 xxv. 
 
 MY first is equal; second, grai 
 
 My third, most iioneri wish to have. 
 
 XXVI. 
 MY first walks weekly on the earth ; 
 
 My second doth my first unite ; 
 My third, when Been at Birmingham, 
 
 Hath caus'd to many beans affright. 
 
 XXVII. 
 IF I obtain my first, I shall be happy ; if I gain my 
 second, I shall be rich ; but the union of both (as my 
 third) would render me unhappy. 
 
 XXVIII. 
 
 MY first acknowledges you may 
 
 My proposition grant ; 
 My second does the fact deny, 
 
 Or partly says you sha'n't ; 
 And if my third you do not guess, 
 You must at least that third confess. 
 
177 
 
 XXIX. 
 
 MY first is the head of the most capital party in 
 England ; my second will be the certain consequence 
 of your not discovering the ringleader ; yet you will 
 not disclose aught of my third, by finding out my two 
 first. M. 
 
 XXX. 
 
 MY first is the beauteous parent of my second ; 
 my third is the friend of lovers. M. 
 
 XXXI. 
 
 WHEN my first arrives, as it very frequently does. 
 my second is employed; and few can rest without 
 my third. 
 
 XXXII. 
 WITHOUT my first there would be no matrimo- 
 nial happiness or misery; my second would lose his 
 title if he became a follower; and my third is princi- 
 pally engaged in all disorders. 
 
 XXXIII. 
 PROVIDENCE, knowing the various changes in- 
 cident to human life, ordained my first to soften the 
 calamities which might arise to overwhelm the mind. 
 
ITS 
 
 Though my second can \vr' rich the extremity 
 
 of the globe, yet, lik- mortality, is liable 
 
 *o be overwhelmed with Storms and tempests; and, 
 
 m ho vainly I it do. 
 
 , which vanishes < lea be perfect, it often 
 
 sinks before it reaches the distant harbour; but not 
 like once gone, never appears more. 
 
 My third is of more worth than the riches of the In- 
 dies; more difficult of attainment ; but, once truly so, 
 
 aue attention, endures even to eternity. 
 
 XXXIV. 
 MY first is universally sought, yet almost as gene- 
 rally abused : when it composes the magic chain of 
 my second, it produces, in the use made of my third, 
 the greatest happiness or misery mortals are susceptible 
 of. M. 
 
 XXXV. 
 Besses pow'r so grea', 
 The strongest bend to it as fate; 
 My second is by all despis'd, 
 And yet by all is greatly priz'd ; 
 Now sunk to earth, trod under feet, 
 Then in the most exalted seat. 
 My third has such attractive charms, 
 It wins e'en dulness to its arms. M. 
 
179 
 
 XXXVI. 
 QUAND le heros triomphe apres sa victoire, 
 Mon premier le rec,ut, et fit briller sa gloire : 
 Quand la mer est troublee par Porage, et le veni 
 Mon second scait sauver le vaisseau perissant : 
 Pour mon tout c'est la mode, on l'ecrit, on le lit, 
 Et les gens habetez me brulent par depit. 
 
 XXXVII. 
 
 REDUIT a mon premier on se croit malheureux, 
 mais si on vient a le perdre, mon second dit qui'ls sont 
 encore plus infortune, en ma troisieme on exprime 
 leur douleur. 
 
 XXXVIII. 
 
 TO make out my first, e'en Erskine would try, 
 And my second would much wish to make it; 
 
 My last I am sure of whenever you're by, 
 Aud I heartily wish you to take it. 
 
 XXXIX. . 
 
 When to my Chloe I my passion tell, 
 Her modest cheeks express my first too well; 
 My second pays no homage to a crown, 
 But preys on all alike, from king to clown. 
 
180 
 
 My tout-ensemble can no beauty boast 
 Till the bright sun has all his radiance lost. 
 
 XL. 
 
 If you were the first, and I were the whole, 
 My second might go where he'd please ; 
 
 Then I should be blest, and you'd be carest, 
 And the rest of our lives pass in ease. 
 
 XLT. 
 WHAT we adore, what we abjure, and what we 
 celebrate ? 
 
 XLII. 
 TOO much for one, enough for two, and nothing 
 for three ? 
 
 XLIII. 
 
 MY first's an Athenian philosopher's name, 
 
 ?>Iy second may serve for the devil ; 
 My third is a passion of very great fame, 
 
 Productive of good and of evil : 
 To my whole, when united, some say they're inclin'd; 
 I excludes all the senses and dwells in the mind. 
 
181 
 
 XLIV. 
 
 WHEN Strephon tells his tender tale, to Celia, young 
 and gay, 
 
 Without my first, the melting strains would die un- 
 heard away : 
 
 But if the gentle nymph inclines, his passion to ap- 
 prove 
 
 By them, ere long my second's sought, to crown their 
 virtuous love. 
 
 Possest of this, 'tis ten to one, before the year goes 
 round, 
 
 Attending near her lovely cheek, my tout-ensemble's 
 found. 
 
 XLV. 
 
 MY first was much us'd by our fathers "of old ; 
 Beware of my second, 'twill lead you to scold ; 
 Bereav'd of my whole, you might find yourself cold. 
 
 XLVI. 
 
 JE suis capitaine de vingt-quatre, sans moi Paris 
 seroit pris. 
 
 XLVII. 
 
 MY first is a preposition, 
 My second a requisition, 
 My third an acquisition^ 
 
18C 
 
 XLVIll. 
 I first you will oun's iprop 
 My second will tell all, 10; 
 My third if transcendant in worth, 
 
 uiir lolc it H ill raise abofc earth 
 
 XLIX. 
 
 MY firs! it 1 1 apital character in the annals of Par- 
 nassus ; my second is as celebrated in the annals of 
 Billingsgate ; and my third is a leader in the annals of 
 biography. 
 
 L. 
 
 .MY first is ever dull and sad, 
 
 An emblem meet of woe ; 
 My second, all in brightness clad, 
 
 A thousand things may learn and show 5 
 The whole, if nature's gift, some say, 
 
 An object is of love ; 
 But should it come another way, 
 It might, as you were grave or gay, 
 
 Or mirth or pity move. 
 
 LI. 
 
 first will show three characters of powrV, 
 n in Rome's past, and France's present hour 5 
 
183 
 
 Tho* their decrees were harsh, you'll own, I trust, 
 My second often mark'd the sentence just : 
 TV spirit of my third, by some, 'tis said, 
 In all Charades supremely is display'd. 
 
 LII. 
 
 To a Lady. 
 MY first is your slave in a very short word, 
 My second's a puppet, and you are my third. 
 
 LIII. 
 MY first I hope you are, 
 My second I see you are, 
 My third I know you are. 
 
 LIV. 
 IF my first was not a property of my second, my 
 third would be severely felt by many an honest sea 
 man. 
 
 LV. 
 
 MY first is, in winter, a warmth you desire, 
 In the gave you, my second, will touch ; 
 
 Both together are cold, yet appear all on fire, 
 Which has puzzled philosophers much. 
 r2 
 
164 
 
 I VI. 
 31 V first will I 
 
 ml tight you, 
 Third may fri 
 
 LV1I. 
 GREAT homage in my first is often shown, 
 And justice says you there will find her throne : 
 My BCCOod to in war, 
 
 And hears Britannia's fame and glory far : 
 
 grateful to each nymph and swain, 
 Tho' often it produces heart-felt pain. 
 
 LVIII. 
 MY first makes my second a warm habitation, 
 My third proves her care for a young generation. 
 
 LIX. 
 MY first's always found in a dread monarch's train ; 
 When apply'd to my second, the pride of the main ; 
 They compose in my third, what the foes of the fair, ' 
 Who delight more in fancy than truth, oft < 
 To good women, because they're proverbial 
 
 M. 
 
 ui me uicim ; 
 esof the fair, ^ 
 oft compare \ 
 rbially rare. \ 
 
185 
 
 LX. 
 
 BY the aid of my first 'tis your life is sustain'd; 
 
 If you'd ne'er had my second, that life you'd ne'er. 
 
 gain'd ; 
 My third the proud peer, and fine peeress demands; 
 Tho' 'tis known I've to do with some sad dirty hands. 
 
 LXI. 
 
 I with a housemaid once was curst, 
 
 Whose name, when shortened, forms my first ; 
 
 She an ill-natur'd jade was reckon'd, 
 
 And in my house oft bred my second ; 
 
 My third's a name all hearts revere, 
 
 Tho' few who boast it now, are found sinctre. 
 
 it3 
 
186 
 
 TRANSPOSITIONS. 
 
 ^N/W-VVW 
 
 I. 
 
 JIN eastern climes, 'where ancient Nilus laves 
 
 The neighb'ring plains with his nutritious waves, 
 
 I first appear'd on earth, and then began 
 
 To execute my vengeance upon man, 
 
 Whom I opprest with wide destroying hand, 
 
 Nor could all earthly helps my pow'r withstand. 
 
 Six letters form my name ; but what is strange, 
 
 In losing two I suffer little change ; 
 
 The difTrence only this, when six I had, 
 
 Where'er my quick destroying hand I laid, 
 
 The mortal wretch was well, was sick, w r as dead. 
 
 Possest of only four, I cannot kill ; 
 
 Yet I remain plan's sore tormentor still. 
 
 Then, what's most strange, tho' I've two letters less, 
 
 Yet I in syllables receive increase. 
 
 Let this suffice, I dare not tell you more ; 
 
 G-ucss the six letters, and you'll know the four. 
 
 ! 
 
187 
 II. 
 
 A monosyllable I am, and a reptile I vow ; 
 But cut me in twain, I form syllables two. 
 Fm English, I'm Latin, the one and the other ; 
 And what's Latin for one half, is English for t'other. 
 
 III. 
 
 IF you transpose what ladies wear, 
 'Twill plainly show what bad men are : 
 Again, if you transpose the same, 
 You'll see an ancient Hebrew's name : 
 Change it again, and it will show 
 What all on earth desire to do. 
 
 IV. 
 
 THO' Fm compos'd of only five, 
 
 I've studied how you all should live; 
 
 Then read me right, and I shall prove 
 
 A bright inhabitant above. 
 
 If to mankind my form 1 show, 
 
 Acute, obtuse I am to view : 
 
 My merit, if they ask, 'tis fact, 
 
 I am a charitable act. 
 
 Now find me out, if you are able, 
 
 And use me to bring fish to table. 
 
188 
 v. 
 
 I'M pretty and useful in variou 
 
 And by me mankind often shorten their days. 
 
 Fake one letter from me, and there will appear 
 
 What pleases the men ev'ry day of the \ < 
 
 Take two letters from me, and then, without doubt, 
 
 You'll be what remains, if you can't find me out. 
 
 VI. 
 1. 
 TO the young, or the old, 
 It need scarcely be told 
 
 That the alphabet's very perverse ; 
 For in verse, or in prose, 
 A few letters transpose, 
 
 And the meaning 'twill wholly reverse. 
 2. 
 To make the case plain, 
 The last verse will explain, 
 
 And by that you'll find out my intent ; 
 So we'll see in a trice 
 If your guess is so nice, 
 
 To discover soon what I invent. 
 3. 
 If taken aright, 
 I'm a scene of delight, 
 
189 
 
 Where the Houries for pleasure repair : 
 But while you there range, 
 Should my attitude change, 
 
 Each bramble would echo— beware. 
 
 VII. 
 
 Addressed to a young Clergyman. 
 PROFESSION chosen, now, my friend, 
 Take this advice to gain your end : 
 Five letters form your utmost aim ; 
 Mark how you may obtain the same : 
 If to my first you should incline 
 In study, you will never shine ; 
 My second, if you truly gain, 
 Expect your wishes to obtain ; 
 Easy will seem the labour past 
 When you're rewarded with my last. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 IF you a sour thing transpose, 
 A very sweet one 'twill disclose. 
 
 IX. 
 
 PART of a foot with judgment transpose, 
 
 And the answer you'll find just under your nose. 
 
 
190 
 
 \. 
 
 A well known tree transpose aright, 
 Will bring to view an useful light. 
 
 XI. 
 THO' small I am, yet, when entire, 
 I've force to set the world on fire. 
 Take off a letter, and 'tis clear 
 My paunch will hold a herd of deer : 
 Dismiss another, and you'll find 
 I once contain'd all human kind. 
 
 XII. 
 IF you view me aright, I am beauteous and just ; 
 Take a letter away, and without me you're dust. A. 
 
 XIII. 
 IF you transpose a term for low, 
 What horses have 'twill plainly show : 
 Transpose these letters yet once more, 
 What's said in churches you'll explore. 
 
191 
 
 XIV. 
 WHAT skins of oranges are eall'd. 
 
 If you transpose, will show 
 The pow'r that seems most like to deatk 
 
 Of any that we know, 
 
 XV. 
 
 DIRECT, or reverse, you may read me, ye fair, 
 The one way a number, the other a snare. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 IF you my letters place aright, 
 
 They'll tell the present hour ; 
 Change them, 'twill show the fate of Troy 
 
 When Greece was in full pow'r. 
 Transpose them once again, they'll bring to view 
 What, when we're wrong, it would be right to do. 
 
 A, 
 
 XVII. 
 WHAT all who are dancers should wish to obtain. 
 Place my letters aright, I shall quickly explain. 
 
L99 
 
 Take one. letter from me, and then I shall prove 
 What the high, and the low, and the sportsmen all love. 
 DeprivM of another, J then shall proclaim 
 Myself iav'rite of those too, whose penchant's a game. 
 
 A. 
 
 \ III. 
 
 IF ta'en in one sense 
 
 I'm employ \J as a fence ; 
 
 Again ta'en in one, 
 
 I'm a token of fun ; 
 Plac'd in another form, you'll find 
 I prove the wonder of mankind. A. 
 
 XIX. 
 
 'RANGE my letters aright 
 
 Pm a source of delight 
 In a game which fair gamesters approve : 
 
 Those letters then change, 
 
 You through England may range 
 With me, and yet never once move. A. 
 
 XX. 
 PLACED in one form, my letters tell, 
 Th* affected look of many a belle ; 
 
 „ 
 
193 
 
 Take but one from them, and you'll view 
 What gold connects, and iron too : 
 Another take, and you will find 
 What's daily us'd to tell the mind. A. 
 
 XXI. 
 
 DEAR ladies, I've a wondrous frame. 
 
 And many limbs compose it ; 
 There's just five letters in my name, 
 
 No doubt you'll soon disclose it. 
 
 We move about in curving sphere, 
 
 With Robert, James, or Sally; 
 And good Sir John will own our care 
 
 In passing through moist valley. 
 
 Thro' cities, villages, and towns 
 
 We pass, combin'd together ; 
 Or through the woodlands, plains and downs, 
 
 Ne'er minding wind or weather. 
 
 But we have useful namesakes yet, 
 
 Employ 'd by Nell or Dolly ; 
 Or by the fair industrious sit, 
 
 And something earn for Molly. 
 
 -** — -~*mi ^nTBgTmii^Mr - ^' mm *~m/c 
 
'he first letter from my name, 
 
 \nd thru I iimion ; 
 
 \ place I'm alwaya kaown to claun 
 
 woman. 
 
 The pranks and oddities I show 
 
 Would make you burst with laughter; 
 
 For where th< ml ladies go, 
 
 There I come dancing all 
 
 " What oddities are i ,ou cry, 
 
 M How must I understand them ?" 
 
 Read on, perhaps you'll then descry 
 The way to countermand them. 
 
 Another letter drop, ye fair, 
 
 Then view this new proportion ; 
 
 A creature odd you'll find appear, 
 Possess'd of life and motion. 
 
 But now a welcome guest I am 
 
 At almost ev/ry table : 
 So, lovely fair, disclose my name ; 
 
 The author hopes you're able. 
 
 W^tMmmsL __ . _j^*fllfltiME - MMi ■ • - 
 
195 
 
 XXII. 
 
 SIX letters only form my name, 
 
 Yet more than twice six words I frame. 
 
 Fm us'd, fair ladies, in your dress, 
 
 But how, I must not here express, 
 
 For fear too much I should confess. 
 
 To Britain's isle Fm a defence ; 
 
 Am sometimes substitute for sense ; 
 
 To wisdom I a guide was once, 
 
 And now perchance may guide a dunce. 
 
 To form the rainbow I assist, 
 
 And am an hateful ugly beast. 
 
 The firmament's adorn'd by me ; 
 
 And that Fm swift all will agree. 
 
 An humble vehicle am I; 
 
 And am a chariot of the sky. 
 
 Fm food, Fm raiment, show surprise, 
 
 And mark where Portsmouth harbour lies. 
 
 A tale of scandal, you will own, 
 
 Is often, through my means, made known. 
 
 Plac'd to direct ; by infants us'd, 
 
 (Then how dear ma' and pa' 're amus'd) 
 
 And ne'er by ship-builders refus'd. 
 
 These eighteen words if you make out, 
 
 You'll clever think yourself, no doubt, 
 
 s2 
 
 } 
 
 } 
 
 _ 
 
 ii i 
 
I 96 
 
 win. 
 
 ROVEB eat I 
 
 WIV. 
 RED nuts and gin. 
 
197 
 
 QUERIES, 
 
 i. 
 
 JLHERE is a word of three syllables, from which 
 if you take away five letters, a male will remain ; if 
 you take away four, a female will be conspicuous; if 
 you take away three, a great man will appear ; and 
 the whole word presents you with a great woman. 
 What is this word ? 
 
 II. 
 IF a woman were to change her sex, what religion 
 would she be of? 
 
 III. 
 WHAT thing is that which is lengthened by beini 
 cut at both ends ? 
 
 IV. 
 
 WHAT makes shoes ? 
 
 s 3 
 
 \.~ ^*. -\yammEm 
 
v. 
 WHAT it majesty depi i external*? 
 
 \ L 
 WHAT i> that which the Creator never made, tur- 
 tle! be made, yet is made, and has a soul to 
 
 VII. 
 
 WHAT was yesterday, and will be to-morrow ? 
 
 VIII. 
 WHICH has most legs, a horse or no horse r 
 
 IX. 
 WHAT is most like a horse's shoe ? 
 
 X. 
 
 WHAT is that which was born without a soul, 
 lived and had a soul, yet died without a soul ? 
 
 XI. 
 
 WHY is a glass-blower likely to teach the alphabet 
 a pace ? 
 
199 
 
 XII. 
 WHICH were made first., elbows or knees ? 
 
 XIII. 
 HOLD up your hand, and you will see what you 
 never did see, never can see, and never will see: 
 What is this r 
 
 XIV. 
 WHAT is that which we receive without thanks? 
 which we enjoy without knowing how ? which we 
 bestow on others without knowing where it is to be 
 found ? and which we lose without being sensible of 
 its loss ? 
 
 XV. 
 WHAT is the longest and the shortest thing in the 
 world ? the swiftest and slowest ? the most indivisible 
 and the most extended ? the least valued and the most 
 regretted ? without which nothing can be done 2 
 which devours all that is small, yet gives life and 
 spirit to all that is great ? 
 
 XVI. 
 WHAT creatures are those which appear closely 
 connected, yet upon examination are found to be three 
 
 
800 
 
 distinct bodies, with eight legs, five on one side, and 
 three on the other ; three mouths, two straight for- 
 wards, and the third on one side; six eyes, lour on 
 -•lie side, two on tin- other ; six ears, four on one side, 
 and two on the other ? 
 
 XVII. 
 
 3 1 have none, and yet I go and stand ; 
 -Viiil when I go I lie, witness my hand. 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 A lady being asked for a toast, gave, The fust of 
 David's third. 
 
201 
 
 SUPPLEMENT, 
 
 WITHOUT 
 
 SOLUTIONS, 
 
 I. 
 
 Jj/EAR ladies, be not in a rage, 
 If champion-like I mount the stage, 
 Pin no new upstart I protest, 
 But long have been a well-known guest, 
 For I my parentage can trace 
 Beyond Nassau or Bourbon's race ; 
 small's the honour or the fame 
 That my proverbial worth can claim. 
 In days of yore I put to stand 
 The szges of a noted land ; 
 Who full of self-conceit and pride 
 •My doubted being did deride ; 
 But yet I foil'd their boasted skill, 
 And made them own, against their will, 
 By art or chance I was not driv'n, 
 But sent a messenger from heav'n : 
 
 '-•-~ «h. ■ - - -■ - 
 
MM 
 
 ig that embassy did dread 
 
 I head, 
 But boldly stood in freedom's cause, 
 And check'd a haughty tyrant's law«. 
 
 I'll head a noble general when 
 
 He heads himself ten thousand men ; 
 
 not so proud but I can stroll, 
 And roar with beggars cheek by jole , 
 But hard indeed that some should i 
 That 'tis poor I their debts must pay. 
 
 I the perjured wretch can see, 
 Tho' cover'd with a French toupee. 
 
 I hither rave, and sometimes thither, 
 Between the zenith and the nadir. 
 Sometimes together, in a clan, 
 We pitch our tents in th' Isle of Man. 
 If after all these hints you doubt, 
 id cannot find the urchin out/ 
 Perhaps you'll see, beyond your hope, 
 Me busy dancing the slack-rope, 
 Or the pray beat the thickets well, 
 For there I'm oft'nest found to dwell. 
 
 I've us'd such freedoms, that I fear 
 
 1 break my bone* if I were near. 
 
203 
 
 II. 
 
 IN the morn when I rise, I open my eyes; 
 
 Tho' I sleep not a wink in the night; 
 If I wake e'er so soon, I still lie till noon, 
 
 And I pay no regard to the light. 
 
 I am chaste, I am young, I am lusty and strong, 
 And my habit oft change in a day : 
 
 To court I ne'er go ; am no lady or beau, 
 Tho' as frail and iantantic as they. 
 
 I travel abroad, and ne'er miss my road, 
 
 Unless I am met by a stranger. 
 If you come in my way, as you very well may> 
 
 You will always be subject to danger. 
 
 I have loss, I have gain, I have pleasure and pain, 
 And am punish'd with many a stripe; 
 
 To diminish my woe, I burn friend and foe, 
 And the evening I close with a pipe. 
 
 I live but short time, and die in my prime, 
 
 Lamented by all who possess me ; 
 If I say any more, to what's gone before, 
 
 I'm sure you'll too easily guess me. 
 
 . Jul 
 
III. 
 
 11 li I frail being thinks lii.s state the worn, 
 
 rare dependence ii the most accurst: 
 I serve I master tamM for lib'ral dm 
 Who thousands nightly guards and daily f< i 
 He on the great expensive gifts bestows; 
 To him the cottage nymph her neatness ow< 
 A pleasing, kind, a great and powerful friend, 
 Except to us who on his smiles depend. 
 With us ; now quiet, now in passion tost, 
 And scarcely ever fist but to our cost. 
 And tho' we toil, yet still we backward 
 And one false step oft proves our overthrow. 
 
 IV. 
 
 YE gentle belles that grace this happy isle,. 
 Where pleasure reigns, and all the graces smile, 
 Oft am I seen attendant on your charms, 
 When anxious Damon woos you to his arms: 
 Yet not upon your smiles alone I wait, 
 Sometimes I ride upon the storms of fate. 
 Oft have astonishM mortals trembling stood 
 When from yon heav'n I rush/d into the flood ; 
 Then proudly rising from your azure main, 
 On wings celestial mount the skies again. 
 With falchion keen, and arrows dazzling bright, 
 Oft am I seen amidst the ranks of fight : 
 
205 
 
 Oft o'er the plains I wing my easy way, 
 
 With garlands crown'd to wake the rosy May* 
 
 When golden Ceres smiles, I sink to rest, 
 
 Well pleas'd to slumber on an heavenly breast ; 
 
 But when the lightning shoots its angry glance, 
 
 Sudden I rise indignant from my trance. 
 
 To rocks, to dens, to unfrequented caves, 
 
 To charnel houses and untimely graves, 
 
 I bend my way, and frowning thro' the gloom, 
 
 Shed deeper horror over ev'ry tomb ; 
 
 Till the stern tyrant comes whom most we dread. 
 
 With ebon lance to mix me with the dead : 
 
 Then could I die, amid the wintry dew, 
 
 For ever fallen, unless revived by you. 
 
 V. 
 
 I'M a Turk and a Tartar, a Teague and a Scot, 
 Pm a bold jolly tar, Fin a tinker and sot; 
 Pm a Dane and a Dutchman, an Englishman too, 
 I'm a black and a white, a Christian and Jew ; 
 Pm a king and a queen, and a proud Spanish don, 
 Pm a beggar, a monster, an emperor's son ; 
 Pm a parson, a priest, a miser, a rake, 
 Pm a doctor, a patient, a hob at the wake ; 
 Pm a delicate princess, a cobbler, a 'squire, 
 Pm a virgin, a wife, ajid a Franciscan friar; 
 
 T 
 
 i 
 
206 
 
 I'm a printer, a poet who offers you rhimes, 
 I'm what you and I and we all are at times. 
 
 VI. 
 I'M one among a num'rous 'host, 
 And very useful in my po 
 WHO is my sire ? and what am I ? 
 He ne'er was born, I never die ; 
 He suffers death, like mortal man ; 
 From pain secure I still remain. 
 High in the air Vm often seen, 
 And often on the verdant green. 
 
 VII. 
 LADIES attend and view what's here, 
 That from your hands doth oft appear: 
 It shows the feelings of your heart, 
 And may your lover's mind impart, 
 Yet know, for contradictions, I 
 With any thing on earth may vie ; 
 Bitter as gall, as honey sweet, 
 Just this or that as seemeth meet : 
 Quite harsh, or soft, or rough, or smooth, 
 RefiVd, perhaps, or else uncouth : 
 Now long, now short, now foul, or fair, 
 Then dull, or light and debonnair : 
 
 
 - 
 
20? 
 
 In short, this whimsical yagarie 
 
 Is as your fancies please to vary : 
 
 But now, myself your friend to prove^ 
 
 I often point to you your love; 
 
 The lily hand, the snow-white neck, 
 
 The lovely bosom I may deck ; 
 
 The sparkling eye, the blooming cheek, 
 
 These charms which raptur'd lovers seek* 
 
 Without my aid, Fm sure would be 
 
 Eclipsed in dull obscurity : 
 
 Yet me you're often known to steal ; 
 
 So, ladies, pray my name reveal. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 MY shape, ye fair, is neither square nor round, 
 No legs have 1 to raise me from the ground ; 
 A nose I have, but then I have no eyes, 
 But Pve a mouth of an enormous size : 
 In this I differ much from human kind, 
 My nose goes first, but then my mouth's behind. 
 To please each fair I labour hard and much; 
 But then my business and my nature's such, 
 That I, before I work, must first be fed 
 With good substantial food, not meat or bread. 
 But a large bolus which I straight devour, 
 And then to work I go with all my pow'r. 
 t 2 
 
JOS 
 
 Hut oh ! my stomach cannot lohg contain 
 Such food as this, it » b u|> again ; 
 
 Reluctant still another meal I cat, 
 
 a my toil till 1 my task complete: 
 Both rich and poor my kind assistance own, 
 Sure then, fair ladies, by this time I'm known. 
 
 IX. 
 IN me the child of art and nature view, 
 I nio^t deceive when most you think me true ; 
 Without prolonging life, I death withhold, 
 And still become too young by growing old. 
 
 Voltaire. 
 
 X. 
 
 LOOK round the world so wide, 
 
 You'll find I am the richest bride, 
 
 A Christian is my spouse ; 
 
 If virtuous, he 
 
 Will happy be, 
 
 But Pve no soul to lose. 
 
 XI. 
 
 I am an opponent to liberty, an enemy to pleasure, 
 and yet without my assistance there is neither plea« 
 
209 
 
 sure nor happiness. I attend rich and poor, old anc| 
 young, the gay and serious, without partiality to 
 either. I am a friend and enemy to the desperate, a 
 friend and enemy to the avaricious, and often wished 
 for by the prodigal. I have been in all fashions, from 
 Adam's fall to the present degenerate age; I cause 
 thousands to weep and hundreds to rejoice ; am re- 
 ceived by some in the most affectionate manner, am 
 esteemed their best friend, by others I am pronounced 
 their worst enemy; I relieve and distress the aged, I 
 cause the young to mourn and rejoice ; am an enemy 
 to the gay and thoughtless, yet sometimes their best 
 friend. I am known in all parts of the world, and 
 have been well acquainted with all the kings and 
 queens of the earth ; am as well known by sea as 
 land. I am tranquil, serene, calm, tyrannical, cruel, 
 hardened, and revengeful. One day I am attended 
 with all the pomp and splendor of a court; the next, 
 I am poor, wretched, and forsaken. I have been at all 
 the seminaries of learning throughout the world, 
 and yet there is not a more ignorant being. I am ge- 
 nerally shunned by the learned as well as the un- 
 learned; but my power is absolute, uncontrolable, 
 and extensive, over nations, kingdoms, and dominions. 
 One hint more and I conclude ; though I am well 
 known, I am always buried in oblivion. 
 
 t 3 
 
211 
 
 SOLUTIONS. 
 
 ENIGMAS. 
 
 1 Bride 
 
 2 Eye 
 
 3 Bed 
 
 4 Husband 
 
 5 Letter I 
 
 6 Pen 
 
 7 Monosyllable 
 
 8 The Senses 
 

 9 A Seal 
 10 Snow 
 
 1 1 Alphabet 
 
 12 Echo 
 
 13 A Falsehood 
 
 14 A Shadow 
 
 15 Bedfellow 
 
 16 The Vowels 
 
 17 A Candle 
 
 18 Love 
 
 1 9 Cannon 
 
 20 Venetian Blind 
 
 21 TOBACCO 
 
 22 Stockings 
 
 23 Eve 
 Noah's Ark 
 
 25 Gold 
 
 26 VI— IV— I 
 
 27 The Devil 
 
213 
 
 28" 
 
 " Corkscrew 
 
 29 
 
 A Blacksmith 
 
 30 
 
 Letter E 
 
 31 
 
 The Moon 
 
 * 
 
 32 
 
 A Circle 
 
 33 
 
 Time 
 
 34 
 
 Lord 
 
 35 
 
 Read according to the Stops 
 
 36 
 
 Letter R 
 
 37 
 
 Water 
 
 38 
 
 I—C— U— B 
 
 
 Two Y'a for me. 
 
 39 
 
 Persevere, ye perfect men, 
 
 
 Ever keep these precepts ten. 
 
 40 
 
 Jonah in the Whale 
 
 41 
 
 Time 
 
 42 
 
 Love 
 
 43 
 
 Garter 
 
 44 
 
 A Fan 
 
A Rod 
 
 46 Horns 
 
 i J [nnocence 
 
 48 Mirror 
 
 49 Newspaper 
 
 50 The Earth 
 
 51 A Letter 
 
 52 Musicians 
 
 53 Chimney-sweeper 
 
 54 Race-horse 
 
 55 Highway 
 
 56 Nothing 
 
 57 Jack Catch (spelt as pronounced) 
 5 8 M erry-thought 
 
 59 A Colon 
 
 60 A Ship 
 
 61 XIII VIII. 
 
 62 A Member of Parliament 
 
 63 A Blush 
 
 
215 
 
 64 A Maggot 
 
 65 A Pen 
 
 66 WIT 
 
 6? Phaeton 
 
 68 Irish Cloth and Tinder 
 
 69 Teeth 
 
 70 Eyes 
 
 71 Letter A 
 
 72 A Shilling 
 
 73 Thimble 
 
 74 Table 
 
 75 Drawer 
 
 76 Cork 
 
 77 Hour-glass 
 
 78 A Pack of Cards 
 
 79 Hat 
 
 80 Nobody 
 
 81 A Trunk 
 
 82 Roll 
 
216 
 
 ; Balaam's A 
 Hope 
 
 85 Letter E 
 
 86 Sealing-wax 
 
 87 Silencv 
 
 88 A Frown and Smile 
 
 89 Gold 
 
 90 Butts 
 
 91 Fishing-rod 
 
 92 Stays 
 
 93 A Lace Cushion 
 
 94 Turkey Coflee 
 
 95 Needle 
 
 96 Printing 
 
 97 Husband 
 
 98 Letter C 
 
 99 Level 
 
 100 Sword 
 
 101 A Sign 
 
 1 
 
21' 
 
 102 
 
 Power 
 
 103 
 
 Tobacco Pipe 
 
 104 
 
 Magnetic Needle 
 
 105 
 
 Halfpenny 
 
 106 
 
 "Widow 
 
 107 
 
 Conscience 
 
 108 
 
 Scissars 
 
 109 
 
 Cocoa-nut 
 
 110 
 
 Indolence 
 
 111 
 
 Language 
 
 112 
 
 Harlequin 
 
 113 
 
 A Game of Whis 
 
 114 
 
 Any thing 
 
 115 
 
 X L (excel) 
 
 116 
 
 OXFORD 
 
 117 
 
 April 
 
 118 
 
 Mince-pye 
 
 119 
 
 Knave of Clubs 
 
 120 
 
 War 
 
 
 u 
 
218 
 
 m 
 
 Lead Pencil 
 
 
 Dreams 
 
 
 Bubbli 
 
 124 
 
 Mind 
 
 
 Teeth 
 
 126 
 
 A Gla 
 
 127 
 
 A Toast 
 
 128 
 
 Laughter 
 
 129 
 
 To-morrow 
 
 130 
 
 A Curtain 
 
 131 
 
 Chimney-sweeper 
 
 132 
 
 Enigmas 
 
 133 
 
 Twilight 
 
 134 
 
 A Pettyfogging Attorney 
 
 135 
 
 Poverty 
 
 136 
 
 A Rush 
 
 137 
 
 An Equal 
 
 138 
 
 A Picture 
 
 139 
 
 A Corkscrew 
 
 
219 
 
 140 
 
 Pig-tail, a Queue 
 
 141 
 
 Thought 
 
 142 
 
 A Fork 
 
 143 
 
 Mustard 
 
 144 
 
 Hymen 
 
 145 
 
 A Linen Wheel 
 
 146 
 
 A Drum 
 
 147 
 
 A Knat 
 
 148 
 
 The Planet Venus 
 
 149 
 
 A Clock 
 
 150 
 
 The Ague 
 
 151 
 
 The Alphabet 
 
 152 
 
 Side-saddle 
 
 153 
 
 Jack-a-Lanthern 
 
 154 
 
 Foot-ball 
 
 155 
 
 Dice 
 
 156 
 
 Eggs 
 
 157 
 
 A Broom 
 
 158 
 
 A Monument 
 
 
 U 2 
 

 159 
 
 Snuffi 
 
 [60 
 
 Drunkenni 
 
 nil 
 
 Knittia dies 
 
 162 
 
 Tobacco 
 
 163 
 
 A Sword 
 
 164 
 
 A Shadow 
 
 
 Whale-bone Stays 
 
 166 
 
 Hope 
 
 m 
 
 I lay-rick 
 
 168 
 
 Walnut 
 
 169 
 
 A Grave 
 
 170 
 
 Salt 
 
 171 
 
 A Paper Kite 
 
 172 
 
 Shuttle-cock 
 
 173 
 
 Smoke 
 
 174 
 
 A Letter 
 
 175 
 
 An Unit 
 
 176 
 
 A Straw Hat 
 
 177 Jersey Combs 
 
221 
 
 178 
 
 A Printer 
 
 179 
 
 An Ellipsis 
 
 180 
 
 A Crown 
 
 181 
 
 Sleep 
 
 182 
 
 A Quill 
 
 183 
 
 Echo 
 
 184 
 
 A double Horse 
 
 185 
 
 Gloves 
 
 186 
 
 The Weather 
 
 187 
 
 Bone-lace 
 
 188 
 
 Invention 
 
 189 
 
 The Hand 
 
 190 
 
 Genius 
 
 191 
 
 Dreams 
 
 192 
 
 Justice 
 
 V 3 
 

 CHARAD1 
 
 1 
 
 Craw-fish 
 
 2 
 
 Bright-on 
 
 3 
 
 Wo-man 
 
 4 
 
 Hope-less 
 
 5 
 
 Bed-ford 
 
 6 
 
 Muf-fm 
 
 7 
 
 Ink-stand 
 
 8 
 
 Hum-bug 
 
 9 
 
 April-fool 
 
 10 
 
 No-vice 
 
 11 
 
 Pen-sion 
 
 12 
 
 Love-ly 
 
223 
 
 IS Peer-less 
 
 14 Rest-ore 
 
 15 Chair-man 
 
 16 Book-case 
 
 17 Pen'-sive 
 
 18 Waist-coat 
 
 1 9 Heart's-ease 
 
 20 Foot-stool 
 
 21 Foot-man 
 
 22 Sup-porter 
 
 23 Ear-wig 
 
 24 Fare-well 
 
 25 Par-don 
 
 26 Shoe-string 
 
 27 Mis'-fortune 
 
 28 Can-not 
 
 29 A-miss 
 
 30 Moon-light 
 
 31 Night-cap 
 
 U 4 
 
32 Ring-leader 
 
 
 
 
 Id-ring 
 
 
 
 
 Char-ra 
 
 
 So: 
 
 
 Pit 
 
 
 Glow-worm 
 
 40 
 
 Bride-grou.il 
 
 
 t-mas 1 
 
 
 Secret 
 
 
 Plato-nic Love 
 
 
 Ear-ring 
 
 
 Car-pet 
 
 46 
 
 Letter A 
 
 
 Ad-dress 
 
 
 Pat-ten 
 
 
 A-dam 
 
 Black- 
 
225 
 
 51 Non-sense 
 
 52 I-dol 
 
 53 Well-come 
 
 54 Hard-ship 
 
 55 Glow-worm 
 
 56 Bug-bear , 
 
 57 Court-ship 
 
 58 Bird-nest 
 
 59 Black Swan 
 
 60 Nap-kin 
 
 61 Pat-riot 
 
 U5 
 

 TRANSPOSITIONS. 
 
 1 Plague-ague 
 
 S Toad 
 
 3 Veil, Vile, Levi, Live 
 
 4 Angel, Angle, Glean, Angle 
 
 5 Glass, Lass, Ass 
 
 6 Garden, Danger 
 
 7 I must not look for benefit, 
 If I my studies e'er remit ; 
 Nor from abilities V inherit 
 A title without other merit. 
 Then why consult a riddle writer. 
 How I may best obtain a mitre. 
 
 8 Lemon, Melon 
 
9 Inch, Chin 
 
 10 Palm, Lamp 
 
 1 1 Spark, Park, Ark 
 
 12 Fair, Air 
 
 13 Mean, Mane, Amen 
 
 14 Peels, Sleep 
 
 15 Ten, Net 
 
 16 Now, Won, Own 
 
 17 Grace, Race, Ace 
 
 18 Ha, ha — ha, ha, ha — Ah ! 
 
 19 Pam, Map 
 
 20 Blink, Link, Ink * 
 
 21 Wheel, Heel, Eel 
 
 22 Starch, Tar, Art, Star, Arch, Rat, Star, 
 
 Hart, Cart, Car, Char, Hat, Ah, 
 
 Chart, Chat, At, Ta, Tar 
 
 £3 Prerogative 
 
 I \ Understanding 
 

 QUERIES. 
 
 1 He, Her, Hero, Heroine 
 
 2 She would be a He'-then 
 
 3 A Ditch 
 k Straps 
 
 5 A, jest (M-ajest-y) 
 
 6 Bastard 
 
 7 To-day 
 
 8 No Horse has five 
 
 9 A Mare's 
 
 10 The Whale that swallow'd Jonah 
 
 1 1 Because he makes a D canter 
 
 12 Knees, Beasts were created before 
 
 Men 
 
229 
 
 13 That the little Finger is not so long as 
 the middle Finger 
 
 14 Life 
 
 15 Time 
 
 16 A Man and Woman on Horseback 
 
 17 A bad Clock 
 
 18 The 1st Verse of the Third Psalm of 
 David, " Lord How." 
 
ERATTA. 
 
 Page 85, Line 20,/or figures, read figure, 
 
 129, 6>/cr nor, read and 
 
 136, — 5^ for the, read in. 
 
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