V*' ;i *° £ %. -40* . jp^ C7 V*V ° a » o *o^\ ^ 4 Li. 4 4 p. TOM CRIB'S MEMORIAL TO CONGRESS. WITH & preface, NOTES, AND APPENDIX. BY ONE OF THE FANCY. AXX* «x Oia I1TKTIKH2 nAEON METEXEIV Tag nXucia; £*i- 0TOfAi ts xsi spnztfia H IIOAEMIKH2; Eyw, £$>»!. — PLATO de Rep. Lib. 4. u If any man doubt the significancy of the language, we refer , him to the third volume of Reports, set forth by the learned in the Laws of Canting, and published in this tongue." — Ben Jon son. THIRD EDITION. LONDON: J-** PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, ORME, AND BROWN, PATERNOSTER* ROW. 1819. rrr [9< PREFACE. THE Public have already been informed, through the medium of the daily prints, that, among the distinguished visitors to the Congress lately held at Aix-la-Chapelle, were Mr. Bob Gregson, Mr. George Cooper, and a few more illustrious bre- thren of The Fancy. It had been resolved at a Grand Meeting of the Pugilistic Fraternity, that, as all the milling Powers of Europe were about to assemble, personally or by deputy, at Aix-la- Chapelle, it was but right that The Fancy should have its representatives there as well as the rest, and these gentlemen were accordingly selected for b VI that high and honourable office. A description of this Meeting, of the speeches spoken, the re- solutions, &c. &c. has been given in a letter written by one of the most eminent of the profession, which will be found in the Appendix, No. I. Mr. Crib's Memorial, which now for the first time meets the public eye, was drawn up for the pur- pose of being transmitted by these gentlemen to Congress ; and, as it could not possibly be in better hands for the enforcement of every point connected with the subject, there is every reason to hope that it has made a suitable impression upon that body. The favour into which this branch of Gymnas- tics, called Pugilism, (from the Greek, ?r&£, as the Author of Boxiana learnedly observes) has risen with the Public of late years, and the long season Vll of tranquillity which we are now promised by the new Millenarians of the Holy League^ encourage us to look forward with some degree of sanguine- ness to an order of things, like that which Plato and Tom Ciub have described, (the former in the motto prefixed to this work, and the latter in the interesting Memorial that follows), when the Milling shall succeed to the Military system, and The Fancy will be the sole arbitress of the trifling disputes of mankind. From a wish to throw every possible light on the history of an Art, which is destined ere long to have such influence upon die affairs of the world, I have, for some time past, been employed in a voluminous and elaborate work, entitled " A Parallel between Ancient and Modern Pugilism," which is now in a state of considerable forwardness, and which I hope to have ready for delivery to subscribers b2 Vlll on the morning of the approaching fight between Bandall and Martin. Had the elegant author of Boxiana extended his inquiries to the ancient state of the art, I should not have presumed to interfere with a historian so competent. But, as Ills researches into antiquity have gone no farther than the one valuable specimen of erudition which, I have given above, I feel the less hesitation novos decerpere flores, Insignemque meo capiti petere inde coronam, Unde prius nulli velarint tempora Musae. * Lucret. Lib. 4. v. 3. The variety of studies necessary for such a task, and the multiplicity of references which it re- quires, as well to the living as the dead, can only be fully appreciated by him who has had the * To wander through The Fancy's bowers, To gather new, unheard-of flowers, And wreathe such garlands for my brow, As Poet never wreathed till now ! IX patience to perform it. Alternately studying in the Museum and the Fives Court— passing from the Academy of Plato to that of Mr. Jackson— now indulging in Attic flashes with Aristophanes, and now studying Flash in the Attics of Cock Court* — between so many and such various associations has my mind been divided during the task, that sometimes, in my bewilderment, I have confounded Ancients and Moderns to- gether, — mistaken the Greek of St. Giles's for that of Athens, and have even found myself tracing Bill Gibbons and his Bull in the " taurum tibi^ pulcher Apollo" of Virgil. My printer, too, has been affected with similar hallucinations. The Mil. Glorios. of Plautus he converted, the other ♦The residence of The Nonpareil, Jack Randall, — where, the day after his last great victory, he held a levee, which was attended, of course, by all the leading characters of St. Giles's. day> into a Glorious Mill; and more than once, when I have referred to Tom. prim, or Tom. quart, he has substituted Tom Crib and Tom Oliver in their places. Notwithstanding all this, the work will be found, I trust, tolerably correct; and as an Analysis of its opening Chapters may not only gratify the impatience of the Fanciful World, but save my future reviewers some trouble, it Is here given as succinctly as possible. Chap. 1. contains some account of the ancient inventors of pugilism, Epeus and Amycus. — The early exploit of the former, in milling his twin- brother, in ventre matris, and so getting before him into the world, as related by Eustathius on the authority of Lycophron, — Amycus, a Royal Amateur of the Fancy, who challenged to the scratch all strangers that landed on his shore. — XI The Combat between him and Pollux, (who, to use the classic phrase, served him out), as de- scribed by Theocritus,* Apollonius Rhodius,-f- and Valerius Flaccus. J — Respective merits of these three descriptions. — Theocritus by far the best ; and altogether, perhaps, the most scientific account of a Boxing-match in all antiquity.— Apollonius ought to have done better, with such a model before him ; but, evidently not up to the thing (whatever Scaliger may say), and his similes all slum.§ — Valerius Flaccus, the first Latin Epic Poet after Virgil, has done ample justice to this * Idyl 22. t Argonaut. Lib. 2. 1 Lib. 4. § Except one, fiarwiros oj; av»jp, M iXayxo/xa; ovo/x« kvIm qv1o; ovfcyct Tfwnole T^a/o-a;, ah i:aVt^ctg f ^oy*j XVI Chap. 5. notices some curious points of simi- larity between the ancient and modern Fancy — Thus, Theocritus, in his Milling-match, calls Amycus " a glutton" which is well known to be the classical phrase at Moulsey-Hurst, for one who, like Amycus, takes a deal of punishment before he is satisfied. Ilijjg yao fa AtOf vtog AAH$ArON ar^fa xw&iXjv. In the same Idyl the poet describes the Bebrycian hero as Tt\yycu$ jicgSywy, " drunk with blows," which is precisely the language of our Fancy bulletins ; for example, " Turner appeared as if drunk, and made a heavy lolloping hit/' &c. &c. * — The resemblance in the manner of fighting still more striking and important. Thus we find •nj g-ctcrn %ai rn twv xsiowf ava?ac"u Tiaylag «7r£xv«(e rug ctvlntateg, Themist. Orat. ntpi Eipwvg. * Kent's Weekly Dispatch. XV11 Crib's favourite system of milling on the retreat, which he practised so successfully in his combats with Gregson and Molyneux, adopted by Alcida- mus, the Spartan, in the battle between him and Capaneus, so minutely and vividly described by Statius, Thebaid, Lib. 6. sed non, taraen, immemor artis, Adversus fugit, etfugiens tamen ictibus obstat. * And it will be only necessary to compare together two extracts from Boxiana and the Bard of Syra- cuse, to see how similar in their manoeuvres have been the millers of all ages — " The Man of Colour, to prevent being Jibbed, grasped tight hold of Carter's hand^-f- — (Account of the Fight between Robinson, the Black, and Carter), which, * Yet, not unmindful of his art, he hies, But turns his face, and combats as he flies, Lewis. t A manoeuvre, generally called Tom Owen's stop. XV111 (translating Af Aajo/wvo* , " the Lily-white, " # ) is al- most word for word with the following : H70i Qy£ p£ai vi XtXaio ( i «nf *7r' lou) Y[' t a ^fpwv i(Xi yjifi fj:a yj i ^ IIX>j£*] cclncQciX'Kvjy, thIuj $i (jle i$i la^xaaon, * The Flash term lor a negro; and also for a chimney-sweeper. X1K Chap. 7. describes the Cstus, and shows that the Greeks, for mere exercise or sparring, made use of muffles or gloves as we do, which they called tasteless enough to prohibit the Fancy, (Plutarch in Vit.) — Galen in many parts of his works, but particularly in the Hortat. ad. Art. condemns the practice as ener- vating and pernicious.* — On the other side, the testimonies in its favour, numerous. — The greater * It was remarked by the ancient physicians, that men who were in the habit of boxing and wrestling became remarkably lean and slender from the loins downward, while the upper parts of their frame acquired prodigious size and strength. I couid name some pugilists of the present day, whose persons seem to warrant the truth of this observation* number of Pindar's Nemean Odes written in praise of pugilistic champions; — and Isocrates, though he represents Alcibiades as despising the art> yet acknowledges that its professors were held in high estimation through Greece, and that those cities, where victorious pugilists were born, became illustrious from that circumstance;* just as Bristol has been rendered immortal by the production of such heroes as Tom Crib, Harry Harmer, Big Ben, Dutch Sam, &c. &c. — Ammia- nus MarceUinus tells us how much that religious and pugnacious Emperor, Constantius, delighted in the Set-tos, "pugilum-f- vicissim se concidentium *Ta; t' a9\*{la$ ^"Ka^BVug, %rti tag iroXst; ovofxara; yiyvofJLsvuc; Twv vixwvJicv. Isocrat. tizpi — An oration written by Iso- crates for the son of Alcibiades. t Notwithstanding that the historian expressly says " pugiluro," Lipsius is so anxious to press this circumstance into his Account of the Ancient Gladiators, that he insists such an effusion of claret XXV perfusorumque sanguine." — To these are added still more flattering testimonies ; such as that of Isidorus, who calls Pugilism " virtus," as if par excellence ; * and the yet more enthusiastic tribute with which Eustathius reproaches the Pagans, of having enrolled their Boxers in the number of the Gods. — In short, the whole chapter is full of erudition and vs$ \ — from Z?/cophron (whose very name smacks of pugilism) down to Boxiana and the Weekly Dispatch, not an author on the subject is omitted. So much for my " Parallel between Ancient and Modern Pugilism." And now, with respect to that peculiar language, called Flash or St. could only have taken place in the gladiatorial combat. But Lip- sius never was at Moulsey Hurst. See his Saturnal. Sermon. Lib. 1. cap. 2. * Origin. Lib. 18. c. 18. XXVI Giles's Greek, in which Mr. Crib's Memorial and the other articles in the present volume are written, I beg to trouble the reader with a few observations. As this expressive language was originally invented, and is still used, like the cipher of the diplomatists, for purposes of secrecy, and as a means of eluding the vigilance of a cer- tain class of persons, called, flashice, Traps, or in common language, Bow-street-Officers, it is subject of course to continual change, and is perpetually either altering the meaning of old words, or add- ing new ones, according as the great object, secrecy, renders it prudent to have recourse to such innovations. In this respect, also, it re- sembles the cryptography of kings and ambassa- dors, who by a continual change of cipher con- trive to baffle the inquisitiveness of the enemy. But, notwithstanding the Protean nature of the XXV11 Flash or Cant language, the greater part of its vocabulary has remained unchanged for centuries, and many of the words used by the Canting Beggars in Beaumont and Fletcher, * and the Gipsies in Ben Jonsons Masque, -f- are still to be heard among the Gnostics of Dyot-street and Tothill-fields. To prig is still to steal ; % to fib, to beat ; lour, money ; duds, clothes ; § prancers, * In their amusing comedy of " The Beggar's Bush." t The Masque of the Gipsies Metamorphosed. — The Gipsy lan- guage, indeed, with the exception of such terms as relate to their own peculiar customs, differs but little from the regular Flash; as may be seen by consulting the Vocabulary, subjoined to the Life of Bamfylde-Moor Carew. X See the third Chapter, 1st Book of the History of Jonathan Wild, for " an undeniable testimony of the great antiquity of Priggism" § An angler for duds is thus described by Dekker. u He car- ries a short staff in his hand, which is called a. filch, having in the nab or head of it aferme (that is to say a hole) into which, upon any piece of service, when he goes a. filching, he putteth a hooke of iron, with which hooke he angles at a window in the dead of XXV111 horses; bouzing-ken, an alehouse; cove, a fellow; a sow's baby, a pig, &c. &c. There are also several instances of the same term, preserved with a totally different signification. Thus, to mill, which was originally " to rob," # is now u to beat or fight ;" and the word rum, which in Ben Jon- son's time, and even so late as Grose, meant fine and good, is now generally used for the very opposite qualities ; as, " he's but a rum one," &c. Most of the Cant phrases in Head's English Rogue, which was published, I believe, in 1666, would be intelligible to a Greek of the present day ; though it must be confessed that the Songs which both he and Dekker have given w T ould night for shirts, smockes, or any other linen or woollen." En- glish Villanies. • M Can they cant or mill? are they masters in their art?" — Ben Jonson. To mill, however, sometimes signified " to kill." Thus, to mill a bleating cheat, i. e. to kill a sheep. XXIX puzzle even that " Graiae gentis decus," Caleb Baldwin, himself. For instance, one of the simplest begins, Bing out, bien Morts, and toure and toure, Bing out, bien Morts, and toure ; For all jour duds are bing'd awast; The bien Cove hath the loure. To the cultivation, in our times, of the science of Pugilism, the Flash Language is indebted for a considerable addition to its treasures. Indeed, so impossible is it t6 describe the operations of The Fancy without words of proportionate energy to do justice to the subject, that we find Pope and Cowper, in their translation of the Set-to in the Iliad, pressing words into the service which had seldom, I think, if ever, been enlisted into the ranks of poetry before. Thus Pope, Secure this hand shall his whole frame confound, Mash all his bones and all his body pound. XXX Cowper, in the same manner, translates xotys h itapyw, " pasftd him on the cheek ;" and, in describing the wrestling-match, makes use of a term, now more properly applied to a peculiar kind of blow, * of which Mendoza is supposed to have been the inventor. Then his wiles Forgat not he, but on the ham behind Chopped him. Before I conclude this Preface, which has already I fear extended to an unconscionable length, I cannot help expressing my regret at the selection which Mr. Crib has made, of one of the Combatants introduced into the imaginary Set-fd * " A chopper is a blow, struck on the face with the back of the hand. Mendoza claims the honour of its invention, but unjustly ; lie certainly revived, and considerably improved it. It was prac* Used long before our time — Broughtun occasionally used it \ and Slack, it also appears, struck the chopper in giving the return in many of his battles." — Boxiana, v. 2. p. 20. XXXI that follows. That person has already been ex* hibited, perhaps, " usque ad nauseam" before the Public; and, without entering into the propriety of meddling with such a personage at all, it is certain that, as a mere matter of taste, he ought now to be let alone. All that can be alleged for Mr. Crib is — what Rabelais has said in defending the moral notions of another kind of cattle — he " knows no better." But for myself, in my edi- torial capacity* I take this opportunity of de- claring, that, as far as / am concerned, the per- son in question shall henceforward be safe and inviolate ; and, as the Covent-Garden Managers said, when they withdrew their much-hissed Elephant* this is positively the last time of his appearing on the Stage. TOM CRIBS MEMORIAL TO CONGRESS. MOST Holy, and High, and Legitimate squad, First Swells* of the world, since Boneys in quod,\ Who have everything now, as Bill Gibbons would say, "Like the bull in the china shop, all your own way" — Whatsoever employs your magnificent nobs, % Whether diddling your subjects, and gutting their fobs,— § * Swell, a great man. f In prison. The dab *s in quod ; the rogue id in prison. J Heads. § Taking out the contents. Thus gutting a quart pot, (or taking out the lining of it) i. e. drinking it off. 1 (While you hum the poor spoonies* with speeches, so pretty, 'Bout Freedom, and Order, and — all my eye, Betty) Whether praying, or dressing, or dancing the hays. Or lapping your congo-f at Lord C — stl-t-r — gh's, — J (While his Lordship, as usual, that very great dabh At the flowers of rhet'ric, is flashing his gab || ) Or holding State Dinners, to talk of the weather, And cut up your mutton and Europe together ! Whatever your gammon, whatever your talk, Oh deign, ye illustrious Cocks of the Walk, To attend for a moment, — and if the Fine Arts Of Jibbing <[[ and boring ^[ be dear to your hearts ; * Simpletons, alias Innocents. f Drinking your tea. $ See the Appendix, No. 3. § An adept. || Showing off his talk. — Better expressed, perhaps, by a late wit, who, upon being asked what was going on in the House of Commons, answered, " only Lord C, airing his vocabulary." % All terms of the Fancy, and familiar to those who read th#. Transactions c'd to sing small, f * In short, not to dwell on e^eh facer and fall, Poor Georgy was done up in no time < And his spunkiest backers were forc'd to sing 6 In vain did they try to Jig up the old lad, 'Twas like using persuaders J upon a dead prad ; § In vain |] BogyB — ck — gh — m fondly besought him, To show like himself, if not game, at least bottom ; * Some specimens of Mr. Gregson's Wrical talents are given in the Appendix, No. 4. t To be humbled or abashed. % Spurs. § Horse. |1 For the meaning of this term, see Grose. 25 While M— rl— y, that very great Count, stood de- ploring He had n't taught Georgy his new modes of boring:* All useless — no art can transmogrify truth — ■ It was plain the conceit was milled out of the youth. In the Twelfth and Last Round Sandy fetch'd him a downer, That left him all's one as cold meat for the Cr owner ; f On which the whole Populace^asAW the white grin Like a basket of chips, and poor Georgy gave in : I While the fiddlers (old Potts having tipp'd them a bandy) § Play'd "Green grow the rushes "\\ in honour of Sandy ! * " The ponderosity of Crib, when in close quarters with his opponent, evidently bored in upon him, &c." t The Coroner. % The ancient Greeks had a phrase of similar structure, iv£iow/ou, cedo. § A bandy or cripple, a sixpence ; " that piece being commonly much bent and distorted." — Grose. || The well-known compliment paid to the Em peror of all the Russias by some Irish musicians. 26 NOW, what say your Majesties ) — is n't this prime ? Was there ever French Bulletin half so sublime } Or could old NAr himself, in his glory,* have wish'd To shotv up a fat Gemman more handsomely dish'd? — Oh, bless your great hearts, let them say what they will, Nothing *s half so genteel as a regular Mill; And, for settling of balances, all I know is 'Tis the way Caleb Baldwin prefers settling his.f As for lackers, you've lots of Big->wigs about Court, That will back you — the rq^being tired of that sport, — * See Appendix, No. 5, t A trifling instance of which is recorded in Boxiana. " A fracas occurred between Caleb Baldwin and the keepers of the gate. The latter, not immediately recognizing the veteran of the ring, refused his vehicle admittance, without the usual tip ; but Caleb, finding argufying the topic would not do, instead of paying them in the new coinage, dealt out another sort of currency, and although destitute of the W. W. P. it had such an instantaneous effect upon the Johnny Raws, that the gate flew open, and Caleb rode through in triumph.'* 27 And if quids should be wanting, to make the match good, There 's B — R — ng, the Prince of Rag Rhino, who stood (T'other day, you know) bail for the seedy * Right Liners ; Who knows but, if coax'd, he may shell out the shiners ? f The shiners ! Lord, Lord, what a bounce do I say! As if we could hope to have rags done away, Or see any thing shining, while Van has the sway! L say ! "^ " \ sway!.y As to training, a Court 's but a rum sort of station To choose for that sober and chaste operation J $ * Poor. t Produce the guineas. % The extreme rigour, in these respects, of the ancient system of training may be inferred from the instances mentioned by Julian. Not only pugilists, but even players on the harp, were, during the time of their probation, o-vvvcria; aptodii; %ni amtpoi. De Ani- mal. Lib. 6. cap. 1. 28 For, as old Ikey Pig* said of Courts, " by de hea- vens, Dey're all, but the Fives Court, at sixes and sevens." What with snoozin g,\ high grubbing, J and guzzling lihe Cloe, Your Majesties, pardon me, all get so doughy, That take the whole kit, down from Sandy the Bear To him who makes duds for the Virgin to wear, I'd choose but Jack Sciioggins, and feel disappointed If Jack didn't tell out the whole Lord's Anointed ! But, barring these nat'ral defects, (which, I feel, My remarking on thus may be thought ungenteel) And allowing for delicatey0ms,§ which have merely Been handling the sceptre, and that, too, but queerly, * A Jew, so nick-named — one of the Big ones. He was beaten by Crib on Blackheath, in the year 1805. t Sleeping. $ Feeding . § Warns or fumbles, hands. I'm not without hopes, and would stand a tight bet, That I'll make something game of your Majesties yet. So, say but the word — if you're up to the freak, Let us have a prime match of it, Greek against Greek, And I'll put you on beef-steaks and sweating next I week — While, for teaching you every perfection, that throws a Renown upon milling — the tact of Mendoza — Thecharm,bywhichHuMPHRiEs*contriv'd to infuse The three Graces themselves into all his One- Two's — The nobbers of Johnson f — Big Ben's J banging brain-blows — The weaving of Sam, § that turn'd faces to rainbows — * Humphries was called " The Gentleman Boxer." He was (says the author of Boxiana) remarkably graceful, and his attitudes were of the most elegant and impressive nature. t Tom Johnson, who, till his fight with Big Ben, was hailed as the Champion of England. X Ben Brain, alias Big Ben, wore the honours of the Champion- ship till his death. $ Dutch Sam, a hero, of whom all the lovers of the Fancy speak, 30 Old Cokcoran's clicks that laid customers flat — Paddy Ryan from Dublin's* renown' d " coup de PM S " And my o wn improved method of tickling a rib, You may always command Your devoted Tom Crib, as the Swedes do of Charles the Twelfth, with tears in their eyes. * Celebrated Irish pugilists. APPENDIX. APPENDIX. No. 1. Account of a Grand Pugilistic Meeting, held at Bel- cher 's, ( Castle Tavern, Holborn) Tom Crib in the Chair, to take into consideration the propriety of sending Representatives of the Fancy to Congress. — Extracted from a letter written on the occasion by Harry Harmer the Hammerer, * to Ned Painter* AXX' uSeig to KAN Ast-^si, iwg av Toy tyy^w^sa axvs-rj TilM. t LAST Friday night a bang-up set Of milling blades at Belcher's met 5 * So called in his double capacity of Boxer and Coppersmith. t The passage in Pindar, from which the following lines of " Hark, the merry Christ Church Bells" are evidently borrowed. The devil a man Will leave his can, Till he hears the Mighty Tom. 34 All high-bred Heroes of the Ri?ig, Whose very gammon would delight one ; Who,, nurs'd beneath The Fancy's wing, Show all herjeathers — but the vohite one. Brave Tom, the Champion, with an air Almost Corinthian,* took the Chair; And kept the Coves f in quiet tune, By shewing such ajist of mutton As, on a Point of Order, soon Would take the shine from Speaker Sutton. And all the lads look'd gay and bright, And gin and genius flash'd about, And whosoe'er grew unpolite, The well-bred Champion servd him out. * ?, e. With the air, almost, of a man of rank and fashion. In- deed, according to Horace's, notions of a peerage, Tom's claims to it are indisputable. 1 ilium supcrarc pugnis Nob'Uem. t Fellows. 35 As we'd been summon'd thus, to quaff Our Deady* o'er some State Affairs, Of course we mix'd not with the raff, But had the Sunday room, up stairs. And when we well had sluiced our gobs, f 'Till all were in prime ttvig for chatter, Tom rose, and to our learned nobs Propounded thus th' important matter : — " Gemmen," says he — Tom's words, you know, Come, like his hitting, strong but slow — " Seeing as how those Swells , that made " Old Boney quit the hammering trade, " (All Prime Ones in their own conceit,) " Will shortly at the Congress meet — <€ (Some place that's like the Finish \, lads, " Where all your high pedestrian pads, * Deady's gin, otherwise, Deady's brilliant stark naked. t Had drunk heartily. $ A public-house in Co vent-Garden, memorable as one of the D 2 •36 " That have been up and out all night, " Running their rigs among the rattlers,* " At morning meet, and, — honour bright, — " Agree to share the blunt and tatlers !) f " Seeing as how, I say, these Swells cc Are soon to meet, by special summons, " To chime together, like " helVs bells,' 9 " And laugh at all mankind, as rum ones— " I see no reason, when such things " Are going on among these Kings, " Why We, who're of the Fancy lay, + " As dead hands at a mill as they, places, where the Gentlemen Depredators of tlie night (the Holy League of the Road) meet, early in the morning, for the purpose of sharing the spoil, and arranging other matters connected with their most Christian Alliance. * Robbing travellers in chaises, &c. t The money and watches. $ Particular pursuit or enterprize. Thus, " he is on the kid- lay," i. e. stopping children with parcels and robbing them— the ken-crack lay, house-breaking, &c. &c. 37 u And quite as ready, after it, " To share the spoil and grab the bit *, " Should not be there, to join the chat, " To see, at least, what fun they're at, cc And help their Majesties to find " Netv modes of punishing mankind. " What say you, lads ? is any spark " Among you ready for a lark f While showers officers told so deadly well, That the crush'd jaw-bones crackled as they fell! But firmly stood Entellus — and still bright, Though bent by age, with all The Fancy's light, * Macrobius,in his explanation of the various properties of the number Seven, says, that the fifth Hebdomas of man's life (the age of 35) is the completion of his strength ; that therefore pugilists, if not successful, usually give over their profession at that time. " Inter pugiles denique haec consuetudo conservatur, ut quos jam coronavere victorias, nihil de se amplius in incrementis virium spe- rent; qui vero expertes hujus gloriae usque illo manserunt, a pro- fessione discedant.'* In Somn. Scip. Lib. 1. f Ears and eyes. E 2 52 Hie, velut celsam oppugnat qui molibus urbem, Aut montana sedet circum castella sub armisj Nunc hos, nunc illos aditus, omnemque pererrat Arte locum, et variis assultibus irritus urget. Ostendit dextram insurgens Entellus, et alte Extulit ) ille ictum venientem a vertice velox Prsevidit, celerique elapsus corpore cessit. Entellus vires in ventum effudit, et ultro Ipse gravis graviterque ad terrain pondere vasto 53 Stoppd with a skill, and rallied with a fire Th' Immortal Fancy could alone inspire ! While Dares, shifting round, with looks of thought, An opening to the Corns huge carcase sought, (Like General Preston, in that awful hour,, When on one leg he hopp'd to — take the Tower !) And here, and there, explor'd with active^ * And skW£u\ feint, some guardless pass to win, And prove a boring guest when once let in. fin* \ win, V *. ) And now Entellus, with an eye that plann'd Punishing deeds, high rais'd his heavy hand $ But, ere the sledge came down, young Dares spied Its shadow o'er his brow, and slipp'd aside — So nimbly slipp'd, that the vain nolber pass'd Through empty air ; and He, so high, so vast, * Arm. 54 Concidit ; ut quondam cava concidit, aut Erymantho, Aut Ida in magna, radicibus eruta pinus. Consurgunt studiis Teucri et Trinacria pubes : It clamor coelo $ primusque accurrit Acestes iEqueevumque ab humo miserans attollit amicum. oo Who dealt the stroke, came thundering to the ground ! — Not B— ck — gh — m, himself, with bulkier sound,* Uprooted from the field of Whiggish glories, Fell souse, of late, among the astonish' d Tories ! f Instant the Ring was broke, and shouts and yells From Trojan Flaskmen and Sicilian Swells Fill'd the wide heav'n — while, touch'd with grief to see His pal,% well-known through many a lark and spree, § * As the uprooted trunk in the original is said to be ' ' cava," the epithet here ought, perhaps, to be " hollower sound. * f I trust my conversion of the Erymanthian pine into his L — ds — p will be thought happy and ingenious. It was suggested, indeed, by the recollection that Erymanthus was also famous for another sort of natural production, very common in society at all periods, and which no one but Hercules ever seems to have known how to manage. Though even he is described by Valerius Flac- cus as — "Erymanthaei sudantem pondere monstri." X Friend. § Party of pleasure and frolic. 56 At non tardatus casu, neque territus heros 3 Acrior ad pugnam reditu ac vim suscitat ira 5 Turn pudor incendit vires, et conscia virtus ; Prsecipitemque Daren ardens agit sequore toto ; Nunc dextra ingeminans ictus, nunc ille sinistra. 57 Thus rumly floor 'd, the kind Acestes ran, And pitying rais'd from earth the game old man. Uncow'd, undamag'd to the sport he came, His limbs all muscle, and his soul all flame. The memory of his milling glories past, The shame, that aught but death should see him grass'd, All fiVd the veteran's pluck — with fury flush'd Full on his light-limb'd customer he rush'd, Andhammering right and left, with ponderous swing,* Ruffian' d the reeling youngster round the Ring — * This phrase is but too applicable to the round hitting of the ancients, who, it appears by the engravings in Mercurialis de Art. Gymnast, knew as little of our straight-forward mode as the un- initiated Irish of the present day. I have, by the by, discovered some errors in Mercurialis, as well as in two other modern authors upon Pugilism (viz. Petrus Faber, in his Agonisticon, and that indefatigable classic antiquary, M. Burette, in his " Memoire pour servir a l'Histoire du Pugilat des Anciens") which I shall have the pleasure of pointing out in my forthcoming " Parallel." 58 Nec mora, nee requies : quam multa grandine nimbi Culminibus crepitant, sic densis ictibus heros Creber utraque manu pulsat versatque Dareta. Turn pater JEneas procedere longius iras, Et ssevire animis Entellum haud passus acerbis ; Sed finem imposuit pugnae, fessumque Dareta Eripuit, mulcens dictis, ac talia fatur. Infelix! quae tanta animum dementia cepit r Non vires alias, conversaque numina sentis ? Cede Deo. 59 Nor rest, nor pause, nor breathing- time was giveii; But, rapid as the rattling hail from heav'n Beats on the house-top, showers of Randal's shot * Around the Trojan's lugs flew, peppering hot! 'Till now jEneas, fill'd with anxious dread, Kush'd in between them, and, with words well-bred, Preserved alike the peace and Dares' head, Both which the veteran much inclin'd to break — Then kindly thus the punish* d youth bespake : " Poor Johnny Raw ! what madness could impel " So rum a Flat to face so prime a Swell? " See'st thou not, boy, the Fancy, heavenly Maid, " Herself descends to this great Hammerer's aid, ce And, singling him from all her flash adorers, " Shines in his hits, and thunders in his floorers ? " Then, yield thee, youth, — nor such a spooney be, " To think mere man can mill a Deity !" * A favourite blow of the Nonpareil's, so called. 60 Dixitque, et prselia voce diremit. Ast ilium fidi aequales, genua segra trahentem Jactantemque utroque caput, crassumque cruorem Ore rejectantem, mixtosque in sanguine dentes Ducunt ad naves. 61 Thus spoke the Chief— and now, the scrimmage o'er. His faithful pals the done-up Dares bore Back to his home, with tottering gams, sunk heart, And rnuns and noddle pink' d in every part.* While from his gob the guggling claret gush'd, And lots of grinders, from their sockets crush'd, Forth with the crimson tide in rattling fragments rush'd ! * There are two or three Epigrams in the Greek Anthology, ridiculing the state of mutilation and disfigurement to which the pugilists were reduced by their combats. The following four lines are from an Epigram by Lucillius, Lib. 2. Koo-xivov »j xf^aXjj an, AiroXhotyaveg, yeyzynrai, H twv onTOKOTttvv fivGxapuvv ret xaTw. Tpct,[A[Aalc<, twv "KvfMwV AvSia %cu *J>pi/yta. Literally, as follows : " Thy head, O A pollophanes, is perforated like a sieve, or like the leaves of an old worm-eaten book; and the numerous scars, both straight and cross-ways, which have been 62 left upon thy pate by the cstus, very much resemble the score of a Lydian or Phrygian piece of music." Periphrastically, thus : Your noddle, dear Jack, full of holes like a sieve, Is so figur'd, and dotted, and scratch'd, I declare, By your customers 9 fists, one would almost believe They had punched a whole verse of " The Woodpecker" there ! It ought to be mentioned, that the word " punching" is u*ed both in boxing and music-engraving. 63 No. 3. As illustrative of the Noble Lord's visit to Congress, I take the liberty of giving the two following pieces of poetry, which appeared some time since in the Morning Chronicle, and which are from the pen, I suspect, of that facetious Historian of the Fudges, Mr. Thomas Brown, the Younger. LINES ON THE DEPARTURE OF LORDS C — ST — R— GH AND ST — W— RT FOR THE CONTINENT. At Paris* et Fratres, et qui rapuere sub illis Vix tenuere manus (scis hoc, Menelae) nefandas. Ovid. Metam. Lib. 13. v. 202. GO 3 Brothers in wisdom — go, bright pair of Peers, And may Cupid and Fame fan you both with their pinions ! The One, the best lover we have — of his years, And the other Prime Statesman of Britain's dc« minions. * Ovid is mistaken in saying that it was " at Paris" these rapacious transactions took place— we should read " at "Vienna." 64 Go, Hero of Chancery, blest with the smile Of the Misses that love, and the monarchs that prize thee $ Forget Mrs. Ang — lo T — yl — r awhile, And all tailors but him who so well dandifies thee. Never mind how thy juniors in gallantry scoff, Never heed how perverse affidavits may thwart thee, But shew the young Misses thou 'rt scholar enough To translate " Amor Fortis" a love, about forty ! And sure 'tis no wonder, when, fresh as young Mars, From the battle you came, with the Orders you'd earn'd in't, That sweet Lady Fanny should cry out " my stars!" And forget that the Moon, too, was some way concerned in't. 65 For not the great R — g — t himself has endur'd (Though I've seen him with badges and orders all shine, Till he look'd like a house that was over insured) A much heavier burthen of glories than thine. And 'tis plain, when a wealthy young lady so mad is, Or any young ladies can so go astray, As to marry old Dandies that might be their daddies, The stars * are in fault, my Lord St — w — rt, not they ! Thou, too, t'other brother, thou Tully of Tories, Thou Malaprop Cicero, over whose lips Such a smooth rigmarole about " monarchs," and " glories," And "n^Z/f^/'fand^features/'likesyllabub slips. * u When weak women go astray, " The stars are more in fault than they." f It is thus the noble Lord pronounces the word " knowledge" — F 66 Go, haste, at the Congress pursue thy vocation Of adding fresh sums to this National Debt of ours, Leaguing with Kings, who, for mere recreation, Break promises, fast as your Lordship breaks metaphors. Fare ye well, fare ye well, bright Pair of Peers, And may Cupid and Fame fan you both with their pinions ! The One, the best lover we have — of his years, And the Other, Prime Statesman of Britain's do- minions. deriving it, as far as his own share is concerned, from the Latin, *' nullas." 67 TO THE SHIP IN WHICH LORD C — ST — R — GH SAILED FOR THE CONTINENT. Imitated from Horace , Lib. 1. Ode 3. So may my Lady's pray'rs prevail,* And C — nn-*g's too, and lucid Br — gge's, And Eld — n beg a favouring gale From Eolus, that older Bags, f To speed thee on thy destin'd way, Oh ship, that bear'st our C — st — r — gh, j * Sic te Diva potens Cypri, Sic fratres Helenae, lucida sidera, Ventorumqae regat pater, f See a description of the ac-xot, or Bags of Eolus, in the Odys- sey, Lib. 10. J Navis, quas tibi creditum Debes Virgilium. F2 68 Our gracious R — g — t's better half, * And, therefore, quarter of a King — (As Van, or any other calf, May find, without much figuring.) Waft him, oh ye kindly breezes, Waft this Lord of place and pelf, Any where his Lordship pleases, Though 'twere to the D — 1 himself! Oh, what a face of brass was his, f Who first at Congress show'd his phyz — To sign away the Rights of Man To Russian threats and Austrian juggle -, And leave the sinking African J To fall without one saving struggle — * Animae dimidium raeum. f Illi robur et aes triplex. Circa pectus erat, qui, &c. J prajcipitem Africum Decertantem Aquilonibus. 69 'Mong ministers from North and South, To shew his lack of shame and sense, And hoist the Sign of " Bull and Mouth" For blunders and for eloquence ! In vain we wish our Sees, at home * To mind their papers, desks, and shelves, If silly Sees, abroad tvill roam And make such noodles of themselves. But such hath always been the case — For matchless impudence of face, There's nothing like your Tory race ! f * Nequicquam Deus abscidit Prudens oceano dissociabili Terras, si tamen impiae Non tangenda Rates transiliunt vada. This last line, we may suppose, alludes to some distinguished Rats that attended the voyager. f Audax omnia perpeti Gens ruit per vetitum nefas. 70 First, Pitt,* the chos'n of England, taught her A taste for famine, fire, and slaughter. Then came the Doctor, f for our ease, With E — d — ns, Ch — th — MS, H — wk — b — s, And other deadly maladies. When each, in turn, had run their rigs, Necessity brought in the Whigs : J And oh, I blush, I blush to say, When these, in turn, were put to flight, too, Illustrious T — mp — e flew away With lots of pens he had no right to ! § * Audax Japeti genus Ignem fraude mala gentibus intulit- + Post macies, et nova febrium Terris incubit cohors. J tarda necessitas Lethi corripuit gradum. § Expertus vacuum Daedalus aera Pennis non homini datis, Tliis allusion to the 1200/. worth of stationary, which his Lord- ship ordered, when on the point of vacating his place, is par- ticularly happy. Ed. 71 In short, what will not mortal man do ? * And now, that — strife and bloodshed past — We've done on earth what harm we can do, We gravely take to heav'n at last $ f And think its favouring smile to purchase (Oh Lord, good Lord ! by — building churches !) * Nil mortalibus arduum est. •f* Coelum ipsum petimus stultitia. 72 No. 4. BOB GREGSON, POET LAUREATE OF THE FANCY. '■* FOR hitting and getting away (says the elegant Author of Boxiana) Richmond is distinguished ; and the brave Molineux keeps a strong hold in the circle of boxers, as a pugilist of the first class ; while the Champion of England stands unrivalled for his punishment, game, and milling on the retreat ! — but, notwithstanding the above variety of qualifications, it has been reserved for Bob Gregson, alone, from his union of pugilism and poetry, to recount the deeds of his Brethren of the Fist in heroic verse, like the bards of old, sounding the praises of their 73 warlike champions." The same author also adds,, that " although not possessing the terseness and originality of Dryden, or the musical cadence and correctness of Pope, yet still Bob has entered into his peculiar subject with a characteristic energy and apposite spirit." Vol. 1. p. 357. This high praise of Mr. Gregson's talents is fully borne out by the specimen which his eulogist has given, page 358 — a very spirited Chaunt, or Nemean ode, entitled " British Lads and Black Millers'* The connexion between poetical and pugnacious propensities seems to have been ingeniously adum- brated by the ancients, in the bow with which they armed Apollo : ot^w y«£ %ca TOHON £7ri Tgs , 7r zrm xai AOIAH. Callimaeh. Hymn, in Apollin. v. 44. The same mythological bard informs us that, when Minerva bestowed the gift of inspiration upon 74 Tiresias, she also made him a present of a large cudgel ; Awo-u; %cti MET A BAKTP0N: another evident intimation of the congeniality sup- posed to exist between the exercises of the Imagina- tion and those of The Fancy. To no one at the present day is the double wreath more justly due than to Mr. Bob Gregson. In addition to his nu- merous original productions, he has condescended to give imitations of some of our living poets — particularly of Lord Byron and Mr. Moore \ and the amatory style of the latter gentleman has been caught, with peculiar felicity, in the following lines, which were addressed some years ago, to Miss Grace Maddox, a young Lady of pugilistic cele- brity, of whom I have already made honourable mention in the Preface. To LINES TO MISS GRACE MAJDDOX, THE FAIR PUGILIST, Written in imitation of the style of Moore, BY BOB GREGSON, P. P. Sweet Maid of the Fancy! — whose ogles* adorning That beautiful cheek, ever budding like bowers, Are bright as the gems that the first Jewf of morning Hawks round Covent-Garden,, 'mid cart-loads of flowers ! ♦ Eyes. fBy the trifling alteration of " dew 1 ' into tl Jew," Mr.Gregson has contrived to collect the three chief ingredients of Moore's poetry, viz. dews, gems, and flowers, into the short compass of these two lines. 76 Oh Grace of the Graces ! whose kiss to my lip Is as sweet as the brandy and tea, rather thinnish, That Knights of the Rumpad* so rurally sip, At the first blush of dawn, in the Tap of the Finish !f Ah, never be false to me, fair as thou art, Nor belie all the many kind things thou hast said; The falsehood of other nymphs touches the Heart, But thy jibbing, my dear, plays the dev'l with the Head! Yet, who would not prize, beyond honours and pelf, A maid to whom Beauty such treasures has granted, That, ah, she not only has black eyes, herself, But can furnish a friend with a pair, too, if wanted ! * Highwaymen. f See Note, page 35. Brandy and tea is the favourite beverage at the Finish. 77 Lord St— w— rt's a hero (as many suppose) And the Lady he woos is a rich and a rare one ; His heart is in Chancery, every one knows, And so would his head be, if thou wert his fair one. Sweet Maid of the Fancy ! when love first came o'er me, I felt rather queerish, I freely confess 5 But now I've thy beauties each moment before me, The pleasure grows more, and the queerishness less. Thus a new set of darbies ,* when first they are worn, Makes the Jail-bird f uneasy, though splendid their ray 5 But the links will lie lighter the longer they're borne, And the comfort increase, as the shine fades away ! * Fetters. f Prisoner. — This being the only bird in the whole range of Ornithology, which the author of Lalla Kookh has not pressed into his service, Mr. Gregson may consider himself very lucky in being able to lay hold of it. 78 1 had hoped that it would have been in my power to gratify the reader with several of Mr. Gregson*s lyrical productions, but I have only been able to procure copies of Two Songs, or Chaunts, which were written by him for a Masquerade, or Fancy Ball, given lately at one of the most fashionable Cock-and-Hen Clubs in St. Giles's. Though most of the company were without characters, there were a few very lively and interesting maskers; among whom> we particularly noticed Bill Richmond, as the Emperor qfHayti,* attended by Sutton, as a sort of black Mr. V — ns — t— t j and Ikey Pig made an excellent L — s D — xh — t. The beautiful Mrs. Crockey,| who keeps the Great Rag Shop in Ber- * His Majesty (in a Song which 1 regret I cannot give) professed his intentions To take to strong measures like some of his kin — To turn away Count Lemonade, and bring in A more spirited ministry under Duke Gin ! f A relative of poor Oockcy, who was lagged some time since. 79 mondsey, went as the Old LadyqfThreadnecdle Street. She was observed to flirt a good deal with the black Mr. V — ns — t— t, but to do her justice, she guarded her €i Hesperidum mala" with all the vigilance of a dragoness. Jack Holmes,* the pugilistic Coach- man, personated Lord C — st — r — gh, and sung in admirable style Ya-hip, my Hearties ! here am I That drive the Constitution Fly. This Song (which was written for him by Mr. Gregson, and in which the language and sentiments of Coachee are transferred so ingeniously to the Noble person represented) is as follows : * The same, I suppose, that served out Blake (alias Tom Tough) some years ago, at Wilsden Green. The Fancy Gazette, on that occasion, remarked, that poor Holmes's face was " rendered per* fectly unintelligible." 80 YA-HIP, MY HEARTIES ! Sung by Jack Holmes, the Coachman, at a late masquerade in St. Giles's, in the character of Lord C — ST — R — GH. I first was hir'd to peg a Hack * They call " The Erin," sometime back/ Where soon I learn'd to patter Jlash>f To curb the tits J and tip the lash—*- Which pleas'd the Master of tke Crown So much, he had me up to town, And gave me lots of quids § a year, To tool |] " The Constitution" here. So, ya-hip, Hearties ! here am I That drive the Constitution Fly. * To drive a haekney coach. Hack, however,* seems in this place to mean an old broken down stage-coach. f T-o talk slang, parliamentary or otherwise. X Horses. § Money. j| A process carried on successfully under the Roman Emperors, 81 Some wonder how the Fly holds out, So rotten 'tis, within, without -, So loaded, too, through thick and thin, And with such heavy creturs In. But, Lord, 'twill last our time — or if The wheels should, now and then, get stiff, Oil of Palm's * the thing that, flowing, Sets the naves and felloes f going! So, ya-hip, Hearties ! &c. Some wonder, too, the tits that pull This rum concern along, so full, as appears from what Tacitus says of the 1t Instrumenta Regni" — To tool is a technical phrase among the Knights of the Whip ; thus, that illustrious member of the Society, Richard Cypher, Esq. says : "I've dash'd at every thing — pegg'd at ajervy — toaL'd a mail- coach." • Money. t In Mr. Gregson's MS. these words are spelled *• knaves and fellows** but I have printed them according to the proper wheel- wright orthography. G 82 Should never back, or bolt, or kick The load and driver to Old Nick. But, never fear — the breed, though British, Is now no longer game or skittish ; Except, sometimes, about their com, Tamer Houyhnhnms * ne'er were born. So, ya-hip, Hearties ! &c. And then so sociably we ride ! — While some have places, snug, inside, Some, hoping to be there anon, Through many a dirty road hang on. * The extent of Mr. Gregson's learning will, no doubt, astouish the reader; and it appears by the following lines, from a Panegyric written upon him, by One of the Fancy, that he is also a considera- ble adept in the Latin language. '* As to sciences — Bob knows a little of all, " And, in Latin, to shew that he's no ignoramus, 4t He wrote once an Ode on his friend, Major Paul, " And the motto was I\iulo majora canamus!" 83 And when we reach a filthy spot,, (Plenty of which there are, God wot) You'd laugh to see, with what an air We take the spatter — each his share! So, ya-hip, Hearties ! &c. The other song of Mr. Gregson, which I have been lucky enough to lay hold of, was sung by Old Prosy y the Jew, who went in the character of Major C — rtw — ght, and who having been, at one time of his life, apprentice to a mountebank doctor, was able to enumerate, with much volubility, the virtues of a certain infallible nostrum, which he called his Annual Pill. The pronunciation of the Jew added considerably to the effect. 84 THE ANNUAL PILL. Sung by Old Prosy, the Jew, in the character of Major C — RTW — GHT. VILL nobodies try my nice Annual Pill, Dat's to purify every ting tiashty avay ? Pless ma heart, pless ma heart, let ma say vat I vill, Not a Chrishtian or Shentleman minds vat I say ! 'Tis so pretty a bolus!— just down let it go, And, at vonce, such a radical shange you vill see, Dat I'd not be surprised, like de horse in de show, If our heads all vere found, vere our tailsh ought to be! Vill nobodies try my nice Annual Pill, &c. 85 'Twill cure all Electors, and purge away clear Dat mighty bad itching dey've got in deir hands — 'Twill cure, too, all Statesmen, of dullness, ma tear, Though the case vas as desperate as poor Mister Van's. Dere is noting at all vat dis Pill vill not reach- Give the Sinecure Ghentleman von little grain, Pless ma heart, it vill act, like de salt on de leech, And he'll throw de pounds, shillings, and pence, up again ! Vill nobodies try my nice Annual Pill, &c. 'Twould be tedious, ma tear, all its peauties to paint — But, among oder trngsfundamentally wrong, It vill cure de 'Broad Bottom * — a common complaint Among M . Ps. and weavers — from sitting too long, f * Meaning, I presume, Coalition Administrations. t Whether sedentary habits have any thing to do with thU 86 Should symptoms of speeching preak out on a dunce, (Vat is often de case) it vill stop de disease, And pring avay all de long speeches at vonce, Dat else vould,like tape- worms, come by degrees ! Vill nobodies try my nice Annual Pill, Dat's to purify every ting nashty away ? Pless ma heart, pless ma heart, let ma say vat I vill Not a Christian or Shentleman minds vat I say ! peculiar shape, I cannot determine, but that some have supposed a sort of connection between them, appears from the following remark, quoted in Kornmann's curious book, de Virginitatis Jure — *' Ratio perquam lepida est apud Kirchner. in Legato, cum natura illas partes, quae ad sessionem sunt destinatae, latiores in faeminis fecerit quani in viris, innueus domi eas manere debere. ,, Cap. 40. 87 No. 5. The following poem is also from the Morning Chronicle, and has every appearance of being by the same pen as the two others I have quoted. The Examiner, indeed, in extracting it from the Chronicle, says, " we think we can guess whose easy and sparkling hand it is." TO SIR HUDSON LOWE. EiFare causam nominis, Utrum ne mores hoc tui Nomen dedere, an nomen hoc Secuta morum regula. AUSONILS. SIR Hudson Lowe, Sir Hudson Lozv, (By name, and ah ! by nature so) As thou art fond of persecutions, Perhaps thou'st read, or heard repeated, How Captain Gulliver was treated, When thrown among the Lilliputians. 88 They tied him down — these little men did — And having valiantly ascended Upon the Mighty Man's protuberance, They did so strut ! — upon my soul, It must have been extremely droll To see their pigmy pride's exuberance ! And how the doughty mannikins Amus'd themselves with sticking pins And needles in the great man's breeches ; And how some very little things, That pass'd for Lords, on scaffoldings fGot up, and worried him with speeches. Alas, alas! that it should happen To mighty men to be caught napping ! — Though different, too, these persecutions ; For Gulliver, there, took the nap, While, here, the Nap, oh sad mishap, Is taken by the Lilliputians ! THE END. Printed by T. Davison, Whilefiiar?, London, o • * « A ;* ^ ** /•5- v to. /V £ .t.o. < ++J °c «Se. A* *4 ' * 4? &> °^ r n* . * ' • ♦ "*b ^ o ° " • -» <^ f W]