DA 
 
NARRATIVE 
 
 OF 
 
 A PRIVATE SOLDIER 
 
 IN HIS MAJESTY'S 92d REGIMENT OF FOOT. 
 
 WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 
 
 D ETA I LING 
 
 MANY CIRCUMSTANCES RELATIVE TO THE INSURRECTION IN 
 IRELAND IN 1798; THE EXPEDITION TO HOLLAND IN 
 1799; AND THE EXPEDITION TO EGYPT IN 1801; 
 AND GIVING A PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF 
 HIS RELIGIOUS HISTORY AND EXPE- 
 RIENCE. 
 
 WITH A PREFACE 
 
 BY THE REV. RALPH WARDLAW, D, D, 
 
 First American edition, 
 
 PHILADELPHIA! 
 PXTBITSFBlD for the HENEFIT of the united FOREIGN 
 
 MISSIONARY SOCIETY. 
 
 \S22. 
 

PREFACE. 
 
 Long prefaces to Narratives have seldom, I be- 
 lieve, the honour of being read through. If the 
 Narrative possess interest, a tedious recommenda- 
 tion only detains the reader from his enjoyment; 
 and if it possess none, it aggravates his disappoint- 
 ment. — I shall, therefore, be very brief. 
 
 The subject of the following Memoir has been 
 connected with the church under my pastoral care, 
 nearly since its formation, in the year 1803: — 
 and, from this, as well as from a circumstance in 
 his religious history, which the reader will dis- 
 cover towards the close of the narrative, it may 
 perhaps be thought, that my recommendations are, 
 in some degree, dictated by feelings of partiality. 
 I hope I shall never be so dead to Christian sen- 
 sibility, as to feel nothing of the peculiar interest 
 which the circumstance alluded to, is fitted to pro- 
 duce. Yet I may say with truth, that the very con- 
 sciousness of this interest has made me the more 
 jealous and scrupulous in giving the advice to 
 publish; an advice which I never should have 
 given, unless from a sincere conviction, that the 
 Narrative is fitted both to please and to profit; to 
 gratify curiosity, and, through the blessing of God, 
 to impart instruction and spiritual benefit. 
 
IV 
 
 The remarks of a private in the ranks, when he 
 is a man of any shrewdness and observation, on 
 the incidents that come within his notice, in the 
 campaigns in which he is engaged, have in them a 
 particular interest. — Whilst we are pleased with 
 the degree of intelligence which they discover, we 
 at the same time feel a satisfying confidence, that 
 they contain c a plain unvarnished tale;' unaffected 
 by any temptation, either ' in aught to extenuate, 5 
 or 4 to set down aught in malice.' 
 
 The religious experience of the writer, I con- 
 sider as especially instructive. — It sets before us, I 
 believe, in honest simplicity, the workings of a 
 sensible and thoughtful mind, and of a conscience, 
 which had never entirely lost its early impres- 
 sions; — the convictions, and distresses, and rea- 
 sonings, — the self-righteous and self confident re- 
 solutions, and the necessary failures and inconsis- 
 tencies, of an awakened but unrenewed state; — the 
 natural reluctance of man to part with self, to plead 
 guilty, and to depend on grace; and yet the entire 
 inefficacy of every thing but this grace either to 
 impart satisfactory and steadfast peace to the con- 
 science, or to produce in the heart a principle of 
 vigorous and cheerful, consistent and persevering 
 obedience. 
 
 Of this grace, although, like every other good 
 thing, it has been too often perverted and abused 
 by the self-deceiver and the hypocrite, the native 
 tendency is, to "teach" all who receive it, to 
 " deny ungodliness, and wordly desires, and to 
 " live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this pre- 
 " sent worldj" — 1 teel the delicacy of saying any 
 
thing in praise of one, whose living eye the com* 
 mendation is to meet, ami who is still, like all 
 others, the subject of remaining corruption, and in 
 danger of injury from its evil propensities; yet, as 
 it is not himself I commend, but the grace that has 
 made him what he is, and to which he owns him- 
 self an entire and humble debtor, I feel at liberty 
 to say, that the subject of the following Narrative, 
 since he was led to embrace the doctrine of the 
 cross, has been enabled, — amidst imperfections 
 and failures no doubt, of which he himself has 
 been much more sensible than others have been 
 observant, — to " walk in newness of life," and to 
 show, that " the gospel of the grace of God" has 
 been " the power of God unto salvation," when 
 every thing else had failed, and had led only to 
 despair. 
 
 With the exception of occasional corrections in 
 the use of words and in the structure of sentences, 
 unavoidable in revising for the press the manuscript 
 of one unaccustomed to composition, the style is 
 the writer's own; the work, throughout, having 
 been printed from his autograph, without tran- 
 scription: — and I pledge my word to the reader, 
 that a single additional sentiment has not been in- 
 troduced. 
 
 I commend the little volume to the candour of 
 the reader, and to the blessing of God; — not with- 
 out a pleasing hope, that while it may benefit, in a 
 temporal view, the family of one, whose wound re- 
 ceived in the service of his country, confined him 
 again, even very recently, from his daily occupa- 
 tion, for nearly four months; it may, at the same 
 1* 
 
VI 
 
 time, produce higher and more valuable effects, iti 
 the instruction, admonition, and salvation, of those 
 who peruse it. 
 
 RALPH WARDLAW, 
 
 GLASGOW. June Uth, 1819. 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT 
 
 SECOND EDITION, 
 
 The very kind reception which the public have 
 given to the first edition, has encouraged the Au- 
 thor to improve and enlarge the second. The 
 additions chiefly consist of a more detailed and 
 combined account of the Insurrection in Ireland, 
 and the Expeditions to Holland and Egypt. These 
 additions, he hopes, will make the reading of the 
 Narrative more pleasant, particularly to young per- 
 sons. He has divided it into chapters, and inserted 
 the number of the regiment he served in; but his 
 name can be of no consequence to the reader. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Cause and design of writing the Narrative. Author at- 
 tends the Sabbath School of Dr. Balfour in Glasgow, in 
 1790. Enlists into the 92dfoot, in 1796, and joins the 
 regiment in Gibraltar in 1797. Behaviour while there. 
 Returns to England in 1798. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Regiment lands at Dublin, in June, 1798. State of that city 
 during the insurrection. Conveyed in coaches to Ark- 
 low. Surprises the insurgents on the White Heaps, 5th 
 July. Particulars of the pursuit and arrival at Gorey. 
 Instances of the ferocity of civil war. Kind behaviour of 
 the regiment to the inhabitants. Deserted state of Go- 
 rey, where the Author is much in want of provisions. 
 Distressing state of the surrounding country. March to 
 Blessington, and join the brigade of Sir John Moore, and 
 encamp in the glen of Eimal. Orders against swear- 
 ing. State of the insurgents in the Wicklow Mountains. 
 March to oppose the French who had landed at Killala. 
 Lie in Athlone during the winter. The Author's reli- 
 gious experience while there. March to Cork, and 
 embark for England, June, 1799. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Join the expedition under Sir R. Abercrombie, and sail 
 for Holland, 6th August. Land near the Helder on the 
 27th. Action among the sand-hills, and capture of Hel- 
 der. Surrender of the Dutch fleet. Advance to the 
 long dyke; with a description of it, and the surrounding 
 country. Dutch method of churning butter. Action on 
 the long dyke, 10th Sept. Repulse of the Duke of 
 York and the Russians on the 19th. Action on the 2d 
 
vm 
 
 October, near Egmont. Lord Huntly wounded. Sir J. 
 Moore wounded. Singular action of cavalry. Specta- 
 cle of the dead, and severe loss of the regiment. Sin- 
 gular death of a Highlander and Frenchman. March 
 to Alkmaar. Action of the 6th. Author escorts pri- 
 soners on the 7th. Army retreats to the long dyke on 
 the 8th. Armistice and convention for leaving Holland. 
 Author takes the ague. Regiment arrives in England, 
 and goes into Chelmsford Barracks. Religious expe- 
 rience of the Author while there. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Regiment embarks at Cowes on board the Diadem, 64, and 
 Inconstant frigate, 27th May, 1800; and sails for the 
 coast of France. Anchors at the Isle of Houet, 2d June. 
 Singular occurrence on the 4th Intended attack on Bel- 
 leisle. Religious seamen on board the Terrible, 74. 
 Sails for the Mediterranean. Arrival at Minorca on the 
 21st July. Regiment leaves Minorca on board the State- 
 ly, 64. Intended attack upon Cadiz, 6th October. — 
 Dangerous storm in Tetuan bay. Touches at Minorca 
 and Malta. The fleet anchors in Marmorice Bay, pre- 
 paratory to landing in Egypt. Some account of that 
 bay and the surrounding country. Author's state of 
 mind during the passage. He is seized with an infec- 
 tious fever. His religious experience during his sick- 
 ness, and after his recovery. Sails for Egypt. Objec? 
 tion against the truth of the Scriptures. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Account of the landing -n Egypt, 8th March, 1801. Au- 
 thor seized with night-blindness. Action of the 13th. 
 Scarcity of water. Account of the position of the army 
 and Pompey's Pillar and Cleopatra's Needles. Battle 
 of the 21st, at which the Author is wounded and sent on 
 board an hospital ship. Condition and behaviour of the 
 wounded. Author removed to an hospital at Aboukir. 
 Lord Hutchison goes with a part of the army to Cairo. 
 Author's wound gets worse. Troublesomeness of flies 
 and vermin. Sirocco, or hot wind, and rapid increase 
 ef the plague. Account of_several interesting fc cases. 
 
IX 
 
 Behaviour of the wounded in A.boukir hospital, and the 
 Author's religious experience. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Author embarks for Rosetta. Dangerous passage of the 
 bar at the mouth of the Nile. Rosetta hospital. Au- 
 thor dangerously ill. Death of his comrade, &c. Inun- 
 dation of the Nile. Skin bottles. Surrender of Alex- 
 andria. Dress of the Sepoys and Egyptian peasants. 
 Manner of eating their m-als. Mahomedan mosques. 
 Gun fired at mid-day in Cairo by the rays of the sun. 
 Explosion of a powder chest kills several of the 13th 
 foot. Remarks on the state of mind in which many died. 
 Produce and manner of cultivating the Delta. Immense 
 heaps of grain. Wretchedness of the peasantry Ex- 
 tracts from Sir R Wilson and Dr. Clarke, on the diseases 
 and plagues of Egypt. The urn-voidable evils of War, 
 Author leaves Rosetta, and sails for England. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Arrival at Cork. Marches to Kilkenny. Proceeds to Lon- 
 don and admitted an out-pensiomr of Chelsea. Ar- 
 rives in Glasgow. Retrospect of his military life. Dis- 
 tressing state of mind. Obtains peace of conscience by 
 hearing the gospel in Albion-street Chapel, and joins 
 the church under the care of Dr. Wardlaw. 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 
 Consists of an Address to readers in general, and to those 
 in the army in particular, of what the Author wishes 
 them to learn from the Narrative. 
 
NARRATIVE, &c. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Dear Pastor, 
 
 I shall now, according to the best of my 
 ability, attempt to gratify the wish you several 
 years since expressed, that I would arrange into one 
 connected narrative, the various particulars I then 
 communicated to you, of my previous life, and the 
 exercises of my mind; its various workings, and 
 conflicts, until the period when I was brought to 
 the knowledge of Jesus, as the only and all-suffi- 
 cient Saviour. 
 
 in drawing up this account of myself, my mo- 
 tive is, to record the loving-kindness of the Lord 
 to me a sinner; and if you deem it proper to be 
 brought before the public in any shape, the only 
 object I would have in view, is the good of my fel- 
 low sinners, particularly such as have been, or are, 
 in situations of life, similar to those I have been 
 in, or have experienced similar exercises of mind. 
 
 Into the minutiae, of my early life, I do not in- 
 tend to enter; and 1 would make this general re- 
 mark in the outset, that my chief object is, to give 
 a history of the workings of my mind, during the 
 
12 
 
 past part of my life, rather than the particulars of 
 my life itself; but I shall narrate as much of these 
 particulars as is necessary to account for, and il- 
 lustrate, the history of my mind. 1 will also no- 
 tice, briefly, such other things as may serve to 
 entertain or inform the reader. 
 
 I was born in Glasgow, in the year 1779. — 
 When I was very young, the belief of the omnis- 
 cience of God, was frequently strongly impressed 
 upon my mind, and the thought of his all-seeing 
 eye, often checked my conscience and restrained 
 me during early life, from gratifying my own in- 
 clinations, to the extent I otherwise would have 
 done. I pretty early learned to read; and as I 
 grew older I became increasingly fond of it, even 
 indeed to excess. I read whatever came in my 
 way; but the Psalms of David in metre, in use by 
 the church of Scotland, and the Bible, being the 
 first books in which 1 learned to read, and having 
 the benefit of godly instruction and example at 
 home, religious knowledge was that with which I 
 was most acquainted. When 1 was about eleven 
 years of age, I went to the Sabbath school, belong- 
 ing to the Outer High Church parish, Glasgow. 
 then taught by Mr. Begg, (now minister of New 
 Monkland parish,) and superintended by the parish 
 minister, the late Rev. Dr. Balfour. The chief 
 exercises of the school were, reading the Scrip- 
 tures, and repeating the Assembly's Shorter Cate- 
 chism. Dr. Balfour frequently visited the school, 
 after the afternoon's service was over, and staid 
 sometimes an hour, and sometimes even to the 
 conclusion at six o'clock. When the Catechism 
 
13 
 
 was repeated, he interrogated us on the meaning of 
 the questions, and instructed us in their import 
 He questioned us upon the sermons we had been 
 hearing, and gave us doctrines to prove from scrip- 
 ture, by collecting all the passages, that we thought 
 contained these doctrines. The doctrines were 
 the fundamental articles of the Christian religion; 
 and as we read the passages, be would tell us 
 when they were in point, and when not. I was 
 an adept at repeating the Catechism; but as I had 
 no margin Bible to point out the references, I had 
 to range through the wbole scriptures, and exer- 
 cise my judgment, which of course was sometimes 
 right, and sometimes wrong. When I was shown 
 that I had brought forward a passage that did not 
 apply, it made me think better next time; the pas- 
 sages I found out I remembered where to find 
 again; and those that were brought forward by 
 others, I added to my own stock. This was an 
 exercise that did me more good, than all the other 
 exercises of the school: for, in after life, when I 
 had forgotten the Catechism, and the other things 
 I had committed to memory, I did not forget how 
 to find in the Bible, those passages I had formerly 
 known; and if I happened to be reading the Bible, 
 and came to any of those passages that had been 
 read in the school, it awakened in my mind the 
 remembrance of what had taken place there. I 
 would then recollect something of the impressions 
 that had been made at the time on my mind, and 
 endeavoured to remember what was said by the 
 minister on these occasions; but I shall notice this 
 again; in a future part of the narrative, There 
 
14 
 
 were rewards sometimes given to any who repeat- 
 ed chapters, psalms, or hymns. The most re- 
 markable instance of this kind that took place 
 while I was in the school, was a present by a gen- 
 tleman, of Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Re- 
 ligion in the Soul, and Sermons to Young Persons,* 
 to be given as a reward to the boy | it was a school 
 for boys only) who repeated best, from memory, 
 Dr. Watts' Divine Songs for Children. We re- 
 ceived copies of the hymns, and a time was fixed 
 for the trial. I was very eager to obtain the prize, 
 and even made it a matter of prayer. I wished 
 to have the book, because I had conceived to my- 
 self, that it would teach me how to get to heaven. 
 When the day of trial came, the minister was not 
 present, but we were heard by one of the elders. 
 The greater part of the children were very young, 
 and most of them had learned only a few of the 
 hymns. There were only four that could go any 
 length in them, and only three that could go com- 
 pletely through them; and their merit was so equal, 
 that it could not be said which was best. I was 
 one of those three; but as it could not be deter- 
 mined who merited the book, it was deferred until 
 next Sabbath evening, when it was expected that 
 the minister would be present. He came, and we 
 repeated the hymns to him with such equal accu- 
 
 * I have learned since the publication of the first edition, 
 thatthese Hooks were the gift of Mr. Auchincloss, a gen- 
 tleman who took a very lively interest in the Sabbath, 
 schools. He was constantly employed in visiting them, and 
 in giving rewards of various kinds to those who behaved 
 well, and repeated, from memory, psalms or chapters. 
 
15 
 
 racy, that he declared he could not give the prize 
 to one more than another; and to make us equal, 
 he procured other two copies of Doddridge's Rise 
 and Progress; but, as he could not find copies of 
 his Sermons to Young Persons, he bound in Bos- 
 ton's Fourfold State in their place, and I was put 
 in possession of one of them. 
 
 I continued in the school about two years. 
 
 In 1796, being about the age of seventeen, I 
 enlisted as a soldier in the ?OOth regiment of foot, 
 or Gordon Highlanders, commanded by the Mar- 
 quis of Huntly,* then lying in the island of Cor- 
 sica, When that island was evacuated by the 
 British, the regiment came to Gibraltar, and I, 
 along with the rest of the recruits, left Scotland 
 and went to Chatham, where we joined other par- 
 ties of recruits belonging to regiments lying in Gib- 
 raltar, for which place we embarked at Gravesend, 
 in Nov. 1796. But the convoy with which we 
 sailed, was forced, by stormy weather, to take 
 shelter in Falmouth for six weeks; after which 
 we proceeded to Lisbon, where we lay ten weeks, 
 because the Spanish fleet was at sea, and our's, 
 inferior in number, was watching it. The battle 
 of Cape St. Vincent, was fought while we lay there, 
 in which the Spanish fleet was defeated, and four 
 sail of the line taken, which were sent into Lisbon. 
 The British fleet soon followed, except a squadron 
 left to watch the Spanish fleet in Cadiz. As soon 
 as the fleet had repaired its damages, it set sail 
 for Cadiz, and we went along with it for protec- 
 
 * The number of the regiment was afterwards changed 
 to the 92d, which is the number of it at present. 
 
16 
 
 tion. We left them when we came off Cadiz, and 
 were escorted by some frigates, through the straits 
 to Gibraltar, where we landed in the beginning of 
 April, 1797, and joined the regiment. 
 
 The general character of the army, for the pro- 
 fanation of God's holy name, is well known: and 
 the temptations a young man has to encounter, 
 from the very general practice of this vice, are 
 very great. The religious instructions I had re- 
 ceived, and the knowledge I had of the Scriptures, 
 deterred me from acquiring a habit of swearing: 
 I frequently reproved my comrades for it; and 
 having done so, pride of heart also operated to pre- 
 vent me from swearing myself, lest my comrades 
 should, in ridicule, retort my reproofs upon me; 
 and this they did not fail to do, if at any time I 
 was guilty of an oath, or any thing approaching to 
 it. 
 
 Daring the time I had been a recruit, and the 
 time I was in Gibraltar, I neglected the reading of 
 the scriptures. In the regiment, I met with a va- 
 riety of characters; amongst others with Deists, 
 who attempted to shake my belief of the truth of 
 the scriptures. I was greatly disturbed and per- 
 plexed in my mind by their arguments; but I was 
 not drawn into their opinions. Yet I still neglect- 
 ed my Bible, and continued gradually losing the 
 knowledge of it I formerly bad. There was an 
 argument, which had a powerful effect upon my 
 conscience, and with which I met all the pleas and 
 excuses for swearing; — I argued, that if there was 
 no God, it was an absurd thing to swear by the 
 
17 
 
 name of a being who had no existence: and if 
 there were a God, be certainly would punish the 
 dishonour done to him, by the profanation of his 
 name. 
 
 There was a society of Methodisfs in Gibraltar, 
 chiefly composed of men belonging to the different 
 regiments in the garrison. They had a small place, 
 where they had stated meetings for prayer and ex- 
 hortation; there were a few of these Methodists in 
 our regiment. Shortly after 1 joined it, the com- 
 manding officer gave out an order for none of the 
 regiment to attend any of their meetings. What 
 effect this order had in deterring any from attend- 
 ing at the time it was issued, I know not: it had 
 not at least a permanent effect, for I know that se- 
 veral did attend afterwards, and no notice was 
 taken of it. I went to this meeting place only 
 once all the time I was in Gibraltar, and I was 
 nearly a twelvemonth in the place. This shows 
 what a careless state of mind I was in; for I may 
 say it was the only religious exercise I was at, all 
 that time. There were indeed prayers read to the 
 garrison, every Sunday morning on the grand pa- 
 rade, when the weather was dry; but the chaplain 
 was always at such a distance, that I never heard 
 a word he said. There was a chapel at the go- 
 vernor's residence, where service was performed 
 through the day, but I never was in it. 
 
 I began to fall into company which led me fre- 
 quently to get intoxicated; I did not indeed fall 
 into a habit, nor acquire an inclination for intox- 
 icating liquors for their own sake; but had the same 
 circumstances continued, I have great reason to 
 2* 
 
18 
 
 fear, that an appetite for them would have been 
 formed, and that I might have turned out a ha- 
 bitual drunkard. Gibraltar has, indeed, peculiar 
 temptations to produce a habit of drunkenness. 
 The wine is <henp; the place is warm; and in 
 time of war with Spain, there is very little fresh 
 provisions, and what is fresh, is very indifferent. 
 There is a great deal of hard labour for the sol- 
 diers, for part of which they get extra pay: by the 
 evening, many of them are fatigued, and actually 
 need a refreshment beyond their ordinary provi- 
 sions; but those who need the refreshment, are not- 
 content to go and get what they require for them- 
 selves; they often take one or two of their com- 
 rades with them, and having once sat down in the 
 wine-house, they generally sit until either their 
 money is exhausted, or their time; (for the mo- 
 ment the gun fires for the men to be in their bar- 
 racks, the wine-houses must be emptied and shut, 
 until after the new guards are marched away to 
 relieve the old ones next morning, that no soldier 
 may have it in his power to get drunk before guard 
 mounting.) Those who are treated one night, 
 treat in their turn those who treated them, when 
 they get pay for work. 
 
 Many of the barrack-rooms are uncomfortable 
 en account of their size, containing sixty or more 
 men. This greatly destroys social comfort: for 
 one or two individuals can molest all the rest; so 
 that select retired conversation can not be enjoyed. 
 Any thing of that kind is always ready to be in- 
 terrupted by the vicious and ignorant, who do not 
 fail to scoff and gibe at what they do not under- 
 
19 
 
 stand or relish themselves. Among so many men 
 too, there will always be found some who take a 
 malicious pleasure in making their neighbours un- 
 happy. This renders the barrack-room quite un- 
 comfortable during the evening; which, as the 
 greater part are employed at work, or otherwise 
 occupied during the day, is the principal time 
 when they can be together. This, along with 
 other things, induces those who have a little mo- 
 ney, to spend the evening in the wine-house with 
 their more select companions. Different sorts of 
 vermin are very plenty in the barracks; and it is 
 a common excuse for drinking, that they can not 
 get a sound sleep, unless they be half drunk. It 
 was customary at that time to settle the men's ac- 
 counts once in two months; and, as very little pay 
 was given to the soldiers over their rations during 
 the intervals, the greater part had a considerable 
 sum to receive: and then drinking was so very 
 common, that to prevent a multiplicity of punish- 
 ments, it was found necessary to have no parade, 
 excepting those for guard, in order that the money 
 might be the sooner done; and the different regi- 
 ments in the garrison, had to take different days to 
 settle their, men's accounts, that the garrison might 
 not be involved in one general state of intoxication 
 at the same time. But I hear that matters are 
 differently managed now; the men are oftener set- 
 tled with, and get a larger proportion of their pay 
 weekly, which prevents them from having so much 
 money to receive at once. The most comfortable 
 time I had, was when I was upon guard. There 
 are many very retired guard stations; some of them 
 
20 
 
 in elevated situations, on the very summit of the 
 rock, 1300 feet above the level of the sea, from 
 which the view is truly grand, and where a fine 
 opportunity is afforded for meditation. I some- 
 times took my Bible to guard with me, but I ne- 
 ver made much use of it. 
 
 We left Gibraltar, and embarked for England 
 in the beginning of March, and landed at Ports- 
 mouth, 18th May, 1798, and went into Hilsea 
 barracks. During the voyage I read something 
 more in my Bible, but much more still in any 
 other book I could find; sometimes it was a novel, 
 sometimes a history or play: sometimes it was a 
 book of a religious -cast; but this was rare: I read 
 any thing I could get, to the neglect of the Bible. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 We embarked in the beginning of June for Ire- 
 land, on board of the Europa of 60, and the Van 
 Tromp of 54 guns. We had a narrow escape 
 from running ashore amongst the rocks, in a fog, 
 upon the Irish coast: the log, however, cleared 
 away just in time for us to see our danger. A new 
 scene began to open to us: Ireland was in a state 
 of insurrection; and we were but ill informed of the 
 nature and extent of it. We were told by a pilot, 
 that we got upon the coast to conduct us into Dub- 
 lin, that the insurgents had taken Wexford. The 
 prospect of being engaged in a civil war, made me 
 thoughtful, and agitated me not a little. On the 
 
21 
 
 18th June we anchored in Dublin bay, and land- 
 ed at tiie Pigeon-house in the evening. We were 
 here met by Lord Huntly, our Colonel, who had 
 been made a Brigadier General on the Irish staff. 
 We remained on the mole near the Pigeon-house, 
 which is about three miles from Dublin, until day- 
 break next morning, and then marched into the 
 city with drums beating and colours flying, an- 
 nouncing to the sleeping inhabitants, at the early 
 hour of three o'clock, the arrival of fresh troops 
 for the support of the government. 
 
 As we now entered into a scene of civil war, I 
 will take the liberty of stating a few of the parti- 
 culars of the Irish insurrection. 
 
 The city of Dublin was under strict police: 
 patrols of cavalry paraded the streets during the 
 day to prevent crowds from assembling. Numer- 
 ous and strong guards were posted through the city 
 and suburbs, and upon all the roads leading to the 
 country. These guards were reinforced at night 
 with additional garrison troops, and large parties 
 of volunteer yeomanry, both horse and foot. Many 
 citizens of the first respectability, and not a few of 
 the nobility, were in the ranks of the yeomanry; 
 and it was not an uncommon thing for a poor 
 Highlander to have a wealthy citizen, or noble 
 lord, posted along with him on sentry. All the 
 inhabitants were ordered to be in their own houses 
 by a set time at night. Strong patrols then scour- 
 ed the streets and made prisoners of all they found 
 upon them, and entered every house where they 
 heard any disturbance. Every house had a writ- 
 ten list of the inmates upon the door, and was 
 
*>*> 
 
 liable to be visited during the night; and if any 
 one was amissing, the owner might be taken up; 
 or if any were in the house whose names were not 
 on the door, or if any one was found in his neigh- 
 bour's house, he was taken up and fined before 
 being set at liberty. Every precaution was used, 
 to prevent plots from being formed, and all means 
 was used to find them out. In such a state of so- 
 ciety, opportunity is afforded to private malice and 
 ill-will, to injure the objects of their enmity. 
 When I was upon the Grand Barrack guard, two 
 respectable old citizens were brought in prisoners. 
 They were men who were unfit, and very unlike- 
 ly to have any active hand in conspiracy against 
 the state. They were confined in the guard -room 
 all that day and night; whether they were libe- 
 rated next day after 1 was relieved, or removed to 
 some other place, I know not. While they were 
 in the guard-room, they were exposed to the inter- 
 rogatories of the ignorant and unthinking, who 
 took every such prisoner to be an insurgent. They 
 were protected, however, by the interposition of 
 the more intelligent and humane. I had a little 
 conversation with them, and they told me it was 
 their belief, that it was an apprentice of theirs with 
 whom they had a difference on account of bad be- 
 haviour, who had, out of revenge, given false ac- 
 cusation against them; such as, that they were 
 holding correspondence with the insurgents in the 
 country, &c. They told me that such cases were 
 frequent. Every person accused was taken up, 
 anu kept until the case should be examined: and 
 as this, from the great number daily apprehended. 
 
23 
 
 could not be instantly done, individuals often suf- 
 fered seriously, before they obtained their release. 
 The conduct of persons, whose political senti- 
 ments or behaviour, were in any measure suspi- 
 cious, was closely watched. And when they were 
 found transgressing any of the police rules, their 
 cases were strictly examined. I saw an instance 
 of this, in the case of a respectable gentleman, 
 who was confined in the same guard-room upon 
 another day. He had been found out of his own 
 house after the appointed time at night. He pled 
 that he was only a short time in a neighbour's 
 bouse: and that the person in whose house he was, 
 was himself a very loyal man, and a yeoman. He 
 said he had always" been a very loyal man himself, 
 He acknowledged, that at a certain public meet- 
 ing, (which had taken place some time previous to 
 this) where a certain political question had been 
 discussed, he had spoken warmly, too warmly; 
 but that that was the only thing in the course of 
 his life, that could have any tendency to create 
 any suspicion of his loyalty. He remained in the 
 common guard-room during the day, and was re- 
 moved to another place at night. He was liberated 
 next morning when I saw him, and he told me, 
 that nothing farther than his being out of his own 
 house at night was brought against him; and that 
 he had gotten his liberty on condition of paying ten 
 pounds to the fund for the relief of the widows and 
 children of soldiers who had fallen in the insurrec- 
 tion. He said that he happened to have as much 
 money upon him, and that he paid it cheerfully; for 
 those that were to get it well deserved it. I mention 
 
these cases as certain evils arising out of a state 
 of civil war. 
 
 During the time we lay in Dublin, the insurrec- 
 tion was raging in various parts of the country, and 
 much blood was shedding. Dublin itself was kept in 
 a state of tranquillity, by the vigilance of the police, 
 and the power of the military. Our stay in it was 
 short. On the 1st of July, the volunteer cavalry were 
 employed in going through the city, pressing all 
 the coaches, gigs, and other vehicles, and collect- 
 ing them in one of the squares. At six o'clock at 
 night we paraded, and went into them, and set oif 
 for Arklow. We travelled all night. We were all 
 accommodated at the outset, but fell into consider- 
 able confusion on the way, by some of the coach- 
 men getting drunk, and striving to get past one 
 another; which caused several of the carriages to 
 break down, and others, by running into ditches, 
 to upset. It was conjectured that some of the 
 coachmen did this wilfully, from aversion to the 
 service they were upon. Numbers had thus to 
 walk in the rain, which was heavy; and several 
 had their muskets damaged, by the breaking down 
 or upsetting of the carriages. One man had his 
 firelock completely bent; and when he was asked 
 by the people of the villages through which we 
 passed, what kind of a gun that was, he told them 
 it was one of a new construction, for the purpose of 
 shooting round corners. 
 
 As we advanced into the country, we began to 
 see the effects of the insurrection. Burnt houses be- 
 gan to make their appearance in the villages, and 
 their number increased as we proceeded. The 
 
coaches carried us to about three miles from Ark- 
 low, and then returned to Dublin. We entered 
 Arklow in the evening. The place had. been at- 
 tacked by a large body of insurgents a few days 
 before, who had been repulsed with great slaugh- 
 ter. They had some pieces of artillery, with which 
 they had dismounted one of the guns of the mili- 
 tary, and damaged some of the houses. They had 
 also burnt that part of the town that lay next the 
 sea-side, which w r as composed of low thatched 
 houses, and was inhabited by fishermen. It was 
 a very pitiable sight to see this scene of destruc- 
 tion; and those of my comrades who went to the 
 ground where the insurgents had stood during the 
 action, said it was disgusting. Numbers of dead 
 bodies were still unburied; some of them lying in 
 ditches, and the swine feeding on them. There 
 was a number of prisoners in the place, who had 
 been taken, whom they were trying by court-mar- 
 tial, and hangir.g; but I was not an eye-witness to 
 any executions in this place. A part of the regi- 
 ment was stationed in the church, which was not 
 a large one. This was a new kind of quarters, but 
 every part was occupied, pulpit and all; and the 
 grave stones were the place where we cleaned our 
 arms. 
 
 The insurgents were still in a body upon one of 
 the hills in the vicinity, and kept the place in 
 alarm; and we had frequently to stand to our arms 
 during the night. On the fourth of July, we pa- 
 raded in the street at 12 o'clock at night, in great 
 haste. The right wing of the regiment got three 
 days bread served out, when we marched away in 
 3 
 
26 
 
 a great hurry, without giving the left wing any. I 
 was in the left wing, and had only a kw crumbs 
 left of that day's rations. We marched very 
 quickly through by-roads; and when day began to 
 break, we made a short pause, and loaded our 
 muskets, — the first time I had done so in the ex- 
 pectation of fighting. There was a high hill before 
 us, (called White Heaps) whose top was covered 
 with mist, and that side which was next to us was 
 very steep. The insurgents were said to be on the 
 top of it. Their number, we afterwards learned, 
 was 5000; of whom 1500 had firelocks, the rest 
 pikes There were about six troops of cavalry 
 along with us: but our whole number did not 
 amount to 1200, without artillery. We ascended 
 the hill with difficulty, without being perceived 
 by those on the top, the mist concealing us from 
 each other. When we had nearly reached the 
 summit, and had entered into the mist that cover- 
 ed it, our front was challenged by the insurgent 
 sentinels, who demanded the countersign, to which 
 the Lieutenant Colonel replied, " You shall have 
 it in a minute." We moved a little further and 
 formed our line. The fog cleared up a little for a 
 minute, when we found that our left was near the 
 enemy, who were collecting themselves into three 
 bodies. The ground betwixt us and them was a 
 wet bog; and the commander of the cavalry told 
 our commanding officer, that if he advanced, the 
 cavalry would not oe able to act in such marshy 
 ground as that before us. The fog again covered 
 us, so that we could not see them, and a gust of 
 wind, with a shower of rain, induced us to stand 
 
still. The insurgents then gave a loud cheer, and 
 then a second, and they began a third; but it died 
 away, and was not so full or loud as the others. 
 We "expected to be instantly attacked, as this was 
 their signal of attack. They, however, had ima- 
 gined that we were much stronger than what we 
 were; and being terrified by the suddenness of our 
 appearance, in place of coming forward to attack, 
 they fled in great haste down the opposite side of 
 the bill. We stood in uncertainty for some time, 
 as we could see nothing; then hearing the fire of 
 two guns, we moved in that direction, and got out of 
 the fog, and descended the hill on the side opposite 
 to that which we had ascended. We then learned 
 that the insurgents had gone down the hill; and, 
 having fallen in with another division of the army, 
 had come upon them before they could get fully 
 formed, and had come close to the guns, when they 
 were fired upon and repulsed. It had been ar- 
 ranged, that different bodies of troops should have 
 mounted the hill on opposite sides at the same 
 time; but we had been sooner than the others, 
 which disarranged the plan. The insurgents con- 
 tinued to fly, the cavalry went forward in pursuit, 
 and we followed with all possible haste. When 
 we reached the foot of the hill, I saw four of the 
 insurgents Iving dead. We continued to march 
 with great haste, and frequently changed our route. 
 We heard firing at no great distance; but the par- 
 ties were always gone before we came up. The 
 road was strewed with old clothes, oatmeal, oat 
 bread, and dough, thrown away by the insurgents 
 in their flight. The dragoons killed a great uum- 
 
28 
 
 her of them in the fields. The insurgents, in their 
 flight,-fell in with some baggage belonging to some 
 of the other divisions; attacked the guard, and 
 killed and wounded several, before the rest of the 
 army could come to their assistance; the insur- 
 gents were then totally dispersed, and a great 
 many killed and wounded; but our regiment never 
 could arrive in time to take share in any of the 
 actions. Several women were among the dead, 
 who were shot in the ranks of the insurgents. We 
 had a most fatiguing march, of upwards of thirty 
 Irish miles. In the evening we arrived at the 
 town of Gorey, as did also two other divisions of 
 the army. 
 
 One thing I would particularly notice here, is 
 the ferocity of civil war; it has barbarities not now 
 practised in the national wars ol Europe. In one 
 spot, where seven had fled to a house, in which 
 they were killed, their bodies had been brought out 
 to the road side, where they lay, shamefully un- 
 covered, and some of them mangled in a manner 
 too indelicate to mention. At another place, I saw 
 an insurgent, who had been taken and dragged by 
 the hair of his head, which was long, for some 
 distance along the road, and then shot through 
 the heart. It was said, he was unwilling to in- 
 form upon the rest of the insurgents. Numerous 
 and shocking barbarities were committed on both 
 sides, sometimes originating in animosity, some- 
 times in wanton cruelty, and at other times in re- 
 taliation. 
 
 I was witness to a scene of the latter kind a 
 few days after, in the town of Gorey. A man 
 
29 
 
 was brought to the back of the camp, to be hang- 
 ed upon a tree on the road side, by a party of an 
 English fencihle regiment. The man was scarcely 
 suspended, when the officer of the party fired the 
 contents of two pistols into the body, and then 
 drew his sword and ran it into it. I then turned 
 from the sight with disgust; but those of my com- 
 rades who stayed, told me that the body was low- 
 ered down from the tree upon the road; that the 
 soldiers of the party perforated it with their bayo- 
 nets, cut off the head, cut it in pieces, and threw 
 them about, tossing them in the air, calling out, 
 " Who will have this?" They then dug a hole on 
 the opposite side of the road, and buried the body 
 and the mangled pieces of the head, in the pre- 
 sence of a few of the unhappy man's friends. I 
 was informed that he had been a judge in the in- 
 surgent army for trying their prisoners: that a bro- 
 ther of the officer of the party had been taken 
 prisoner by the insurgents, and had bten sentenced 
 by this man to be piked to death: and that this 
 was the reason why he had been so used. 
 
 Piking to death was what the insurgents prac- 
 tised upon those of the king's troops that fell into 
 their hands, particularly if they remained firm in 
 their allegiance. The common method was for 
 " two to stand behind, and two before the victim, 
 and tnrust their pikes into his body at once, and 
 raise it from the ground, holding it suspended, 
 writhing with pain, while any signs of life appear- 
 ed. At other times, two men, with pikes, would 
 come before the victim, and begin to stab him in 
 the feet, and then the legs, and thighs, and belly > 
 3* 
 
30 
 
 until they reached the heart. At other times they 
 literally perforated the body all over, with pike 
 wounds ." Such barbarities could not fail to pro- 
 duce desire of revenge. But, as our regiment had 
 not been in the country during the out-breaking of 
 the insurrection, we had received no injury to pro- 
 voke our resentment. And as we had not been 
 employed in the execution of any of the rigorous 
 measures resorted to by the government to prevent 
 the insurrection, no one had any ill will against 
 lis. We were called into the service of suppressing 
 this unhappy and calamitous insurrection, after it 
 h*»d begun to decline, and we were rather wit- 
 nesses of its ruinous and distressing effects, than 
 active hands in suppressing it by force. For it so 
 happened, that although we several times pursued 
 considerable bodies of the insurgents through the 
 mountains, and were at times pretty close upon 
 them, yet no one of us fired a musket, with the 
 exception of one or two, who did it without orders, 
 on the morning of the 5th July, on the White 
 Heaps: neither was a musket fired at us; and the 
 only loss the regiment sustained during this ser- 
 vice, occurred one morning when we were pur- 
 suing a body of insurgents among the mountains. 
 One of our men having fallen behind through 
 weakness, was met by two or three insurgents in 
 women's clothes, carrying pails of milk on their 
 heads, as if returning from milking. They offered 
 him drink; and, while he was drinking, one of 
 them seized his musket, and after threatening to 
 kill him, they allowed him to proceed to the regi- 
 ment, with the loss of his musket and ammunition. 
 
31 
 
 The sight of so many houses and villages, and 
 parts of towns, burned and destroyed, and the 
 great number of women and children, who were 
 in a destitute state, because their husbands and 
 fathers were either gone with the insurgents, or 
 were fled for safety, touched most powerfully the 
 sensibdities of our hearts, and diffused a feeling 
 of generous sympathy through the regiment. It so 
 happened at that time, that we had newly received 
 a more than ordinary balance of arrears of p ly, so 
 that every man was in possession of money, J.-ss 
 or more; and although we were very fond of milk, 
 because we had been long living upon salt provi- 
 sions, before our arrival in Ireland, yet there were 
 none who would accept of a draught of milk for 
 nothing, but would pay its price. And if the peo- 
 ple of the house would not take payment, they 
 would give the value of what milk they received 
 to the children. 
 
 As this conduct in soldiers is more rare than 
 even conspicuous courage in the field, the truth of 
 what is here asserted, may be the more ready to 
 be questioned. I shall, therefore, take the liberty 
 of inserting a quotation from Gordon's History of 
 the Irish Rebellion. The author of that work is a 
 clergyman, whose residence appears to have been 
 in the vicruity of Gorey, and who had a personal 
 knowledge of what took place there at that time. 
 That author complains of the losses sustained <w 
 the inhabitants from the insurgents and the sol- 
 diery: he says, "on the arrival of the Marqa.s of 
 Huntly, however, with his regiment of Scottish 
 Highlanders, in Gorey, the scene was totally aiter- 
 
32 
 
 ed. To the immortal honour of this regiment, its 
 behaviour was such, as, if it were universal among 
 soldiers, would render a military government 
 amiable. To the astonishment of the (until then 
 miserably harassed) peasantry, not the smallest 
 trifle, even a drink of butter milk, would any of 
 these Highlanders accept, without the payment of 
 at least the full value." — Gordon's History of the 
 Irish Rebellion, 2d edit Lond. p. 240. 
 
 When we entered the town of Gorey, it was, in 
 great part, deserted by the inhabitants. Nothing 
 was to be procured for money. After the very 
 fatiguing march we had on the day we entered it, 
 we received one biscuit and one glass of whiskey. 
 On the next day we marched to a considerable dis- 
 tance, in quest of the insurgents, and returned 
 back; we got a draught of milk, and one day's 
 allowance of boiled beef, which had arrived from 
 Arklow; but no bread. — The day was very warm, 
 and I was considerably exhausted. That day 
 passed over, and the next day, until the evening, 
 without any word of any more provisions. The 
 dread of having to pass another night in our pre- 
 sent hungry state, determined other two and my- 
 self, to go in quest of something that we could eat. 
 "We saw some who had purchased some old pota- 
 toes at the mill of the place. We made all haste 
 to the mill; but the potatoes were all sold. We 
 felt disappointed; but, observing that the mill was 
 at work, we entered it to see what was grinding. 
 We found a man attending the mill, who said he 
 was not the miller, but had just set the mill to 
 work to grind some barley. There were but a few 
 
handfuls ground; and we resolved, rather than 
 want, that we would wait until some greater quan* 
 tity was done, when we would endeavour to get it 
 cleaned, so as to be capable of being turned into 
 food. After stopping a few seconds in (he mill, I 
 began to look about, when I perceived a number 
 of sacks that were, less or more, filled with some- 
 thing: f said to my comrades, U Perlnps there may 
 be something in some of these sacks that will 
 serve us: we had better examine them and see." 
 We were indeed loath to touch any thing; but we 
 were in absolute want of food, and were willing to 
 pay for it. Observing a sack about half full, stand- 
 ing beneath another that was full, and was bent 
 over it, we thought we would see what was in the 
 broken sack first. We instantly removed the lull 
 sack, and, lo our great joy, we found the other was 
 about half full of excellent oatmeal, ready for use. 
 The miller's wife came in, in great agitation, and 
 said, that she durst not sell it, for it belonged to a 
 gentleman in the neighbourhood, who was a Cap- 
 tain of the Yeomen. I replied, that we were in 
 absolute need, and must have it; but that we would 
 pay a fair market price for it, which she could 
 give to the gentleman who owned the meal; that 
 he would likely be able to procure a sup, 
 himself elsewhere; that he perhaps was not in 
 immediate want of it, but that we were, ?,n(\ (fill 
 not know any where else to find it; and that she 
 might state this to the owner, and that would re- 
 move all blame from her. She assented to the 
 justice of this; and said, that one < ilUng and six- 
 pence was a fair price for the stone ii ht. The 
 
34 
 
 weights were quickly erected; we weighed a stone, 
 paid the price, and set out to get it cooked, leav- 
 ing a number more of our comrades, who had come 
 to the mill, to be supplied in the same way as we 
 had been. While passing along the street, looking 
 for an inhabited house, where we might get our 
 meal ccoked, w r e met other three of our comrades, 
 who had gOBe to the country in quest of provisions, 
 but could get nothing but milk, of which they had 
 their canteens full. We agreed that we would 
 give them a shore of our meal for a share of their 
 milk. We then went into a house, in which was 
 a woman with one child. She said her husband 
 was a blacksmith, and that the insurgents had 
 forced him to go with them, to forge their pikes.* 
 We told her that we wanted her to make us some 
 porridge, and that she should get a share of it 
 for her trouble. She instantly cleaned her pot, 
 (which was but a small one,) and got it on the 
 lire. We procured some wood for fuel; and, the 
 first pot full being soon made, and poured into a dish 
 to cool, we desired her to make haste and get the 
 second ready, for we were very hungry, and what 
 was in the dish would do little to fill us: we then 
 sat down, all six, to satisfy our hunger. What was 
 in the dish would have been a very scanty meal 
 for three; yet, after we had eagerly swallowed a 
 few spoonfuls, we began to slacken our speed, and 
 (although the milk and porridge were exceed- 
 ingly good) to swallow them slowly, and with dif- 
 
 * They impressed into their service all the blacksmiths 
 they could find. 
 
35 
 
 Acuity; and we were all reluctantly compelled to 
 leave off before our little mess was nearly finished, 
 and the poor woman got the remains, and the 
 second pot full for her trouble. We told her, that 
 we would call back next day after parade, to get 
 another meal. On returning to ouf quarters, we 
 found that our provisions had arrived in our ab- 
 sence; but as we could not know that they were 
 to arrive that night, we felt satisfied with what we 
 had done. We did call back at our cook's next 
 day; and, after taking a little more porridge, de- 
 sired her to make use of the rest of the meal as 
 she needed it, for that we had now got plenty of 
 other provision, and were not likely to require it. 
 
 The town and adjacent country were in a most 
 distressing state. Numbers of the cattle were 
 going through the corn-fields, and destroying- 
 more than thev were eating-. The milk-cows 
 were lowing most piteously for want of being- 
 milked. And as the town had been more than 
 once in the hands of the insurgents, the alternate 
 movements of the army and the insurgents created 
 always fresh alarm to the peaceable and helpless, 
 who were liable to suffer by every change. The 
 insurgents harassed those who did not join with 
 them; and when the insurgents had to fly, the 
 soldiers harassed those whom they found at home, 
 on pretence that they were friends or favourers of 
 the insurgents: so that it was next to impossible, 
 for even those who were unable to take any part 
 on either side, to escape being involved in the dis- 
 tresses attendant on the quarrel. 
 
 The following circumstance will in part show 
 
36 
 
 this. Three of our men went from Gorey, to the 
 country, in quest of provisions; (I think it was the 
 same three that gave us milk formerly.) They 
 went to a farm house, into which they entered, 
 but could find no one within. They went through 
 all the apartments, but could discover no one. 
 They saw that the fire was unextinguished; the 
 milk, and every thing about the house, showed 
 that the inhabitants could not be far aw r ay. When 
 they had waited a good while, in the hope that 
 some of them might make their appearance, a 
 young child came into the house. This convinced 
 tbem that the mother could not be far off. They 
 spoke kindly to the child, and gave it a penny. It 
 then left them, and in a short time reappeared 
 with its mother and the rest of the women and 
 children belonging to the house. The soldiers told 
 them that they wanted to buy some milk; to which 
 they replied, that they might take whatever they 
 wanted, and welcome. The soldiers said, they did 
 not want any thing for nothing, but would pay for 
 what they got; but the women insisted that they 
 should take freely what they wanted, and said, 
 that was not the way they had been used by the 
 soldiers that had visited them before, for they took 
 what they wanted without asking their liberty, 
 and sometimes ill used themselves; adding, M We 
 saw you coming, and we were afraid, and went 
 and hid ourselves; but when the child came into 
 cur hiding-place, and showed us a penny it had 
 got from you, this encouraged us to make our ap- 
 pearance; and God bless you, take what you want 
 freely." The soldiers got their canteens filled 
 
37 
 
 with milk, but the inhabitants had no other provi- 
 sions that they could spare. They then left them, 
 (after giving the children as many pence as they 
 thought the milk was worthj highly pleased with 
 their visit. 
 
 We stayed in the town of Gorey a fortnight, 
 during which time public confidence was greatly 
 restored The bulk of the inhabitants had return- 
 ed, and the grocers' shops began to be replenished. 
 There was no whiskey, or drink of any kind, t© 
 be had when we entered it; but whiskey was dis- 
 tilled and sold some days previous to our depar- 
 ture, which consumed the soldiers 1 money much 
 faster than the buying of milk did, although the- 
 milk was by far the preferable article, had they 
 been so wise as to have contented themselves with 
 it. We left Gorey, and had two days march to 
 Blessington, twelve miles from Dublin. Our route 
 led us through a part of the country that had suf- 
 fered severely. Almost every change of landscape 
 presented to our view the roofless walls of cabins 
 and of gentlemen's country seats, many of which 
 were spacious and elegant. The populous village 
 of Carnew, where we halted for a night, had been 
 almost totally burnt. The inhabitants had shel- 
 tered themselves within the walls of their cabins 
 the best way they could; but, in wet weather, their 
 condition was pitiful. A great part of the town of 
 Blessington had also been destroyed. We pitched 
 our tents in the rear of the Marquis of Downshire's 
 fine house, which had also been burnt. A large 
 body of military was encamped in the pleasure 
 grounds, and great openings were made in the 
 4 
 
38 
 
 walls and hedges to admit of a ready communica- 
 tion between the different parts of the camp, and 
 every thing was in a luinous state. We were here 
 put under the orders of Sir John Moore, then a 
 Major General, and in a few days he marched 
 with our regiment, and the Hompesch dragoons, 
 and two pieces of artillery, and encamped in the 
 glen of Eimal, among the mountains of Wicklow; 
 where several detached bodies of insurgents were 
 still in arms. When we entered the glen, which 
 was a fruitful valley of considerable extent, the 
 inhabitants kept their houses, because some of the 
 military, who had been there before us, had spread 
 a report that we were uncommonly ferocious. But 
 this impression was of short duration; we were 
 soon great favourites with them, and our camp 
 became a place of public resort, particularly upon 
 Sundays. The young men and women were en- 
 tertained with whiskey, music, and dancing; to 
 which exercise they were encouraged by the atten- 
 dance and approbation of a neighbouring Catholic 
 priest, who excited the young women to dance 
 with the military, even with very profane lan- 
 guage. This drew forth the remarks of the sol- 
 diers; and even the most openly profane among 
 them condemned their own sins when committed 
 by a priest. — A circumstance of a different kind 
 took place here, which was remarked as uncom- 
 mon among us. Two of the soldiers quarrelled, 
 and had a long vociferous wrangle, consisting 
 chiefly in profane oaths and curses. They were 
 not far from the Major's tent; (the Major was a 
 Catholic:) he was so disgusted at the horrid pro- 
 
39 
 
 fanity of their language, that he ordered them extra 
 drill, as a punishment, and complained to Lord 
 Hunt!y, who gave out an order prohibiting the 
 practice, and threatening to put the Articles of 
 War in force, and to fine every man in a shilling 
 for every oath. This was a temporary check to 
 the very public commission of it, but it was only 
 of short duration; for the practice was too general 
 among all ranks, and the order was soon as if it 
 had never been. 
 
 While we lay in this camp, Sir John Moore 
 marched twice with us into the interior of the 
 mountains, where the insurgents still kept in small 
 bodies. They made a show of resistance, but fled 
 when we got near them. We pursued them slowly; 
 Sir John did not allow any to fire at them, though 
 it might, at times, have been done. It appeared 
 to be his intention to intimidate them from remain- 
 ing in arms, and by showing them forbearance, to 
 induce them to return to their allegiance. This 
 wise conduct of the general, along with the con- 
 ciliatory behaviour of the soldiers, had a happy 
 effect. For, during the time that we were en- 
 camped here, the greater part of them came in and 
 delivered up their arms. The whole would have 
 submitted in the course of a day or two, if the 
 French had not landed at Killala. It was said, 
 that the only remaining leaders were in the camp, 
 and had left it to fetch in their followers the next 
 day; but that the report of the French having 
 landed* reaching them in the evening, revived 
 
 * Reports varied as to the number landed: some reports 
 made them 15,000, others, as high as 30.000. 
 
40 
 
 their hopes of a revolution: and, our marching 
 suddenly away next morning to oppose the French, 
 confirmed them in the belief that they were in 
 great force. In consequence of this, they remain- 
 ed in arms during the autumn and winter, com- 
 mitting petty depredations, and skulking among 
 the mountains. It was lamentable to see the igno- 
 rance of the people who had been in arms. They 
 were indeed no judges of political questions. Petty 
 local animosity, and an aversion to Protestants, 
 was all that operated with the great body of them; 
 and beyond these, they could not be made to look 
 by those who saw larther. 
 
 Their bigotry to the Romish religion was so 
 strong, that although their oaths, as united Irish- 
 men, bound them to " persevere in endeavouring 
 to form a brotherhood of affection among Irishmen 
 of every religious persuasion," they were no sooner 
 up in arms, than they began to show that Pro- 
 testants would not be tolerated. They put many- 
 Protestants to death, in the most cruel manner, 
 some of whom were fighting in their own ranks. And 
 had they sueceeded in overturning the government, 
 they would not have spared even those Protestant 
 gentlemen that were their chief leaders, nor yet 
 those of their own communion that were favourers 
 of toleration. Their secular leaders, whether 
 Protestant or Catholic, were soon convinced, that 
 because they did not approve of intolerance, their 
 lives would fall a sacrifice to their own party if it 
 was successful. They preferred surrendering them- 
 selves to the clemency of the government, as soon 
 as it was in their power, to staying among the in- 
 
41 
 
 surgents; for, although they had forfeited their 
 lives by their insurrection, they had a greater 
 chance of being spared by the clemency of the 
 government, than of escaping the bigotry of those 
 whom they themselves had stirred up to rise in 
 arms against it. One Garret Byrne, a Roman 
 Catholic gentleman, of landed property, surren- 
 dered after the affair of the White Heaps, and was 
 sent to our camp, and was employed by Sir John 
 Moore to guide us through the mountains, when we 
 went in pursuit of the insurgents. 
 
 Disaffection had spread among the Protestants 
 of the north, as well as among the Papists of the 
 south; but, as soon as the Protestants in the north 
 heard that the insurrection had taken a religious 
 turn in the south, they were glad to be quiet, for 
 they instantly saw that their safety (they being by 
 far the fewer number) lay in the preservation of 
 the government. This freed the government from 
 the resistance of the Protestant insurgents of the 
 north; who, from the superiority of their intelli- 
 gence, were more to be dreaded than the Catho- 
 lics of the south. Want of subordination in the 
 insurgent armies, also, contributed materially to 
 render the insurrection abortive. Their notions 
 of liberty, for which they ignorantly pretended to 
 be fighting, were of such a nature as to render 
 every attempt to train them to arms utterly vain. 
 They said, we are the sovereign people — we are 
 free — we will not be drilled like those slaves of 
 government, the red coats. To be drilled like a 
 soldier was a degree of subordination which they 
 had never been subject to; and, when they had 
 4* 
 
42 
 
 been persuaded by those who stirred them up to 
 insurrection, that they were slaves, and that they 
 would" obtain freedom by rising in arms, they could 
 not see the consistency of this, with submitting to 
 the slavery of being drilled like soldiers. Indeed, 
 their actions showed that the liberty for which they 
 were fighting, was a liberty to violate the laws of 
 God and man, and indulge in licentiousness, riot, 
 and dissipation, and the cruelties of superstition. 
 
 We had a long fatiguing march to the opposite 
 coast o f Ireland. We never came in contact with 
 the French, but we were extremely glad when we 
 heard of their surrender, as we were weary with 
 hard marching. We escorted them as prisoners 
 one day's march; their number was then, of all 
 ranks, somewhat about 800. When they landed, 
 they were 1100, (Gordon's History of the Irish 
 Rebellion, p. 294.) There were several amongst 
 them who had been prisoners in Corsica when our 
 regiment was there, and they recognised some of 
 our men as having been guards over them there. 
 
 They had brought a large quantity of arms, 
 accoutrements, and clothing, from France, to equip 
 the Irish insurgents, many of whom had joined 
 them after they had taken the town of Castlebar; 
 but the major part left them, and went away with 
 the arms, accoutrements, and clothing they had 
 received, as soon as the French began to drill 
 them. Muskets had been given to five thousand 
 five hundred in Castlebar, but there were only 
 about fifteen hundred that accompanied the French 
 on their march from that place to Ballinamuck, 
 where the French surrendered, when 500 oi them 
 
43 
 
 were killed, and the rest dispersed. They were 
 also dangerous as well as useless allies to the 
 French; tor they were not disposed to give quarter 
 to prisoners. I heard of an instance of an insur- 
 gent who killed a soldier that had been taken pri- 
 soner: one of the French cavalry instantly cut the 
 insurgent down with his sword, This restraint did 
 not suit the sanguinary temper of the insurgents; 
 but the French well knew that if their allies did 
 not give quarter, no quarter would be given to 
 them. The alliance was also very incongruous; 
 for the insurgents were all bigotted Catholics, and 
 the French enthusiastic infidels, who openly boasted 
 that they had lately driven Mr Pope out of Italy, 
 and had not expected to find him so suddenly in 
 Ireland. They smiled at the simplicity of the 
 Irish, when they heard them declare that they 
 came to take arms for France and the blessed 
 Virgin. The priests were treated with the utmost 
 contempt by the French general, although it was 
 his interest to have acted otherwise. There can 
 be no doubt that, although the French had suc- 
 ceeded in revolutionizing Ireland, their religious 
 difference would have produced a new war be- 
 tween them and the Irish. 
 
 We did not return to the Wicklow mountains; 
 but encamped during the autumn at Moat, twelve 
 miles from Athlone, which is near the centre of 
 Ireland? and, when winter set in, w r e went into 
 Athlone for winter quarters. The number of the 
 regiment was changed at this time from the 100th 
 to the 92d. 
 
 We lay there from the end of October, 1798, 
 
44 
 
 to June, 1799. In this place it pleased God to 
 lead my mind to serious and deep reflection, and 
 to begin a work of sharp conviction, such as 1 had 
 never before experienced Tbere was a Catholic 
 Chapel, an English Church, and a Wesleyan Me- 
 thodist Meeting-house in the town. In the Me- 
 thodist Meeting-house, there were always public 
 prayers evening and morning, and sermon on the 
 Lord's day, and often twice a week in the even- 
 ings. I attended the Meeting-house pretty closely, 
 and began to read my Bible with more than com- 
 mon attention. I reviewed my past life, and found 
 that I was an exceeding great sinner in the sight 
 of God: and God's goodness as my Creator, and 
 merciful Preserver, appeared to my view in a 
 much stronger light than ever it had done before. 
 I read several religious books, amongst which were 
 Baxter's Call to the Unconverted, and Young's 
 Night Thoughts. The subject of life, death, and 
 immortality, occupied my thoughts very much; the 
 conviction of my ingratitude, in sinning against 
 God, often made me weep in secret; and the fear 
 of falling into the hands of a justly offended God, 
 frequently made me shudder. The words of Scrip- 
 ture, '* Repent and turn to the Lord," were 
 strongly impressed upon my mind. I saw there 
 was no salvation without pardon, and no pardon 
 without repentance. I wept for my sins, and 
 earnestly besought God to forgive them. I read the 
 Scriptures, and found, as I imagined, pardon pro- 
 mised to the penitent. I followed, as far as cir- 
 cumstances permitted, in point of form, Baxter's 
 directions. I devoted myself to God, and vowed 
 
40 
 
 to forsake sin, and to live a godly life for the fu- 
 ture. I made this resolution in sincerity of heart, 
 my understanding being convinced that it was my 
 duty to hate sin, because God hated it; and that it 
 I regarded sin in my heart, God would not hear 
 my prayers, nor pardon my transgressions. I then 
 began to attempt the performance of what I saw 
 was my duty. I began to hunger and thirst after 
 personal holiness; but of the nature of justification, 
 by faith in the imputed righteousness of Christ, I 
 had no conception; and of the nature and design 
 of his sufferings, my ideas were very confused and 
 erroneous. It was a sense of sin that pained my 
 conscience, and I sought for relief in personal re- 
 formation, and founded my hope of pardon for the 
 past, and of eternal life, in the success of the re- 
 formation, I had now commenced. Being con- 
 vinced that I was liable to many and strong temp- 
 tations, and that the conquest of sin would be no 
 easy work, I conceived that it was my wisdom, as 
 Well as duty, to have recourse to every thing that 
 could strengthen me against temptation, and assist 
 me in the arduous task of working out what I con- 
 eeived to be my salvation. 
 
 When under this temper of mind, I happened, 
 with a number of other soldiers of the regiment, to 
 be at the meeting-house one evening; and after 
 the ordinary service of praise and prayer was over, 
 the preacher desired the soldiers to remain, inti- 
 mating that he had something to say to us. He 
 then addressed us, on the propriety of joining in a 
 class meeting, informing us how many soldiers had 
 joined in a class meeting, in a neighbouring town, 
 
45 
 
 in his circuit. He said that some of us might 
 scruple, because he was not of the same religious 
 principles as those we had been brought up in. 
 This might be true; but he remarked that we had 
 no opportunity ot joining with those, who were of 
 the principles in which we might have been edu- 
 cated, there being none in the place; that, if we 
 chose to form a class meeting, he did not require 
 that we should be of the same principles with him 
 in every thing; but that if we were concerned for 
 the salvation of our souls, it would be for our be- 
 nefit, while we were absent from home, to be unit- 
 ed together, for the purpose of social worship and 
 instruction. — I thought the proposal candid and 
 reasonable, and put down my mime, as one will- 
 ing to join in a class meeting. I thought it would 
 be a means of helping me in the work of personal 
 reformation. For a short time I went on pretty 
 well in my own estimation, abstaining from any 
 thing that was open and flagrant; but secret sins 
 overcame me, although I had set myself to resist 
 them with all my might; and this broke my peace 
 of mind. It happened, that there were a number 
 of the regiment, and amongst them some of my 
 own comrades, taken ill with dysentery; and se- 
 veral died of the disorder. This alarmed me 
 much. I began more seriously than ever, to con- 
 template the uncertainty of life. I read seriously, 
 and with great attention, those portions of Young's 
 Night Thoughts that treat on that subject. I en- 
 tered fully into the spirit of the poet, and applied 
 to my conscience his reflections. My security of 
 life was completely broken. Every night I lay 
 
47 
 
 down to sleep, I was afraid I might never awake, 
 and every morning I arose, I was afraid I might 
 die before night. I would say to myself in the 
 morning, " Some of my fellow creatures, who are 
 living at this moment, will be dead before night; 
 and how can I tell but I may be one of them!" 
 This subject never made so strong an impression 
 on my mind as at this time. I never was so much 
 afraid of death, except on occasions of evident dan- 
 ger. I could no longer place death at a distance. 
 J saw myself in danger of being snatched away 
 every moment in numberless ways, and put the 
 question to myself, " Were I to die this moment, 
 what hope have I of escaping hell and getting to 
 heaven?" and I concluded, that I had no hope of 
 heaven whatever, but every reason to fear that 
 hell should be my portion. 
 
 I then began to look around me; and compare 
 myself with the bulk of my comrades. I thought 
 I was not so bad as they were. I began to reason 
 with myself, that if God was to send me to hell for 
 my sins, surely those that were worse than I was, 
 would also be condemned; and, if that was the 
 case, how few would there be that would escape! 
 I would fondly have indulged the idea, that surely 
 God would not be so severe, as to condemn so 
 many, and would fain have cherished the hope, that 
 because I was not so bad as the major part of those 
 I knew, I should have a chance to escape. But 
 when I reviewed my past life in the light of the 
 word of God, I found nothing but condemnation; 
 for I perceived tbat that word took cognisance of 
 the quality of sin, as well as the quantity, and con- 
 
48 
 
 demned both sins secret and sins open: I began to 
 remember the means that I had enjoyed above 
 others, of religious instruction and information; 
 and the declaration of our Lord, " To whom much 
 is given, of them shall much be required," rang 
 in my ears. I remembered the impressions made 
 upon my mind by early religious instructions; I 
 recollected the resolutions I had made to forsake 
 sin, and the convictions which hail produced these 
 resolutions; I thought of my breaches of these re- 
 solutions, and my former forgetfulness and indif- 
 ference: and more particularly, my failing in 
 keeping my last most solemn vow. I began to 
 meditate and consider of God's dealings with me 
 as an individual: and of the account he would re- 
 quire of me as an individual sinner. I no longer 
 durst compare myself with other men. I knew 
 not the extent, in number and heinousness, of any 
 other man's sins. I knew not their secret sins and 
 evil purposes of heart; and as God would bring all 
 manner of sin into judgment, I durst no longer 
 think in my heart that I was a whit better than 
 the most wicked and profane person I knew; for I 
 knew more evil of myself than I had known, or 
 could know of another. This led me to look 
 more strictly into my own heart, and to examine 
 what was done in it, as I found that the word of 
 God discerned the thoughts of the heart. This 
 led me to investigate the motives of my actions, 
 and then I found that I did nothing that was pure. 
 I called to mind the past goodness of God, the 
 many mercies and deliverances he had given me; 
 I reflected on my ungrateful behaviour, and was- 
 
49 
 
 filled with wonder and astonishment that a God of 
 such awful majesty, should have spared such an 
 ungrateful and vile wretch so long; I was led afresh 
 to consider, "What shall I do to escape the just 
 vengeance of Almighty God?" and my resolution 
 was to repent afresh of my sins, and devote my 
 future life, with greater resolution to his glory. I 
 durst not delay my repentance to a more conve- 
 nient time, because the fear of death stared me in 
 the face; and I was convinced, that as death left 
 me, judgment would find me. I trembled at the 
 thought of being called, by death, before the awful 
 tribunal of God. I had nothing to look to on the 
 one hand, but a broken law; and a holy, sin- 
 avenging God on the other. This made me earn- 
 estly wish for the pardon of my sins, and i resolved 
 that I would do any thing whatever that would 
 procure it. 
 
 I read the Scriptures, but chiefly in the Old 
 Testament, often in Isaiah. To the clearer light 
 of the New Testament, I did not so much attend. 
 Its clear evangelical language did not strike my 
 mind with that force as to fix my attention upon 
 it. From those parts of the Scripture that 
 caught my attention, I formed the following- 
 opinions: — thatGod promised mercy to the peni- 
 tent returning sinner: this gave me a gleam of 
 hope, which I believe prevented me from sinking 
 into absolute despair; but I did not understand the 
 mature of evangelical repentance, or the way by 
 which the penitent should come to God, in order 
 to be accepted. The state of my mind at that 
 time was this: I thought that if I sincerely repent- 
 5 
 
50 
 
 ed of my past sins, and did not commit sin for the 
 future, God would pardon my sins. I also pro- 
 mised myself, that if I truly, and seriously, resolv- 
 ed to serve God for the future period of my life, 
 God would on this account, give me strength to re- 
 sist every kind of temptation, and to overcome 
 every desire to sin. I promised myself, that, by 
 constant endeavours, and unremitting exertions, I 
 should overcome all obstacles, and finally merit 
 eternal life. I saw that God required of the peni- 
 tent sinner, future obedience: I was convinced that 
 this was just: I thought that God did not require 
 any thing but what he had given us power to per- 
 form, if we were but willing to do so. I resolved 
 to be willing, and to try my strength to the utmost. 
 I thought that if I did meet with any thing that 
 was too hard for my present strength, God would 
 give me additional strength; but that the only way 
 to honour God was to use the power that he had al- 
 ready given me. I thought it would be affronting 
 God to ask more, until I had first proved the in- 
 sufficiency of what I now possessed: and that it 
 would be insulting to divine goodness, to be seek- 
 ing that which was already bestowed upon me. 
 Under this frame of mind, 1 set about the perform- 
 ance of religious duties. I prayed more frequently 
 and fervently; I read the Scriptures with greater 
 diligence and attention; I abstained from even- 
 thing that was in my opinion sinful. But my past 
 sins were still painful to me, because I was not 
 yet assured that they were or should be pardoned. 
 I was, however, certain that if. I continued to com- 
 mit sin 7 I should get no pardon, but if I forsook 
 
51 
 
 sin, I might obtain pardon. The spirit of my 
 prayers was, entreating God to pardon my sins, 
 and promising to lead a holy life in future. 
 
 While in this state of mind, I went one evening 
 to the meeting-house, and as I was returning to 
 the barracks, pondering in my mind my guilt, as a 
 sinner, and the goodness and sparing mercy of 
 God, the powers of my mind having been buoyed 
 up by the fervour of the exhortations and prayers I 
 had heard, a sudden emotion started all at once 
 into my mind, that my sins were pardoned by God, 
 that God had promised pardon to such as me; and 
 that all that was required was, that I should be- 
 lieve that God had pardoned my sins; that God 
 was faithful to his promise, and it would be to me, 
 even according to my faith. This emotion had a 
 powerful influence upon me. It gave peace to my 
 mind, for I took it to be one of those manifesta- 
 tions of the Spirit, spoken of by those who preach- 
 ed, exhorted, and prayed, at the meeting-house. 
 Under the impressions produced by it, I went on 
 very smoothly, abstaining from sins, to which I had 
 formerly been a slave. I now thought myself 
 happy, and promised to myself, that I would now 
 be able to live such a life, as should be pleasing to 
 God, and should procure and retain his favour. 
 
 But I must here add, that this impression that 
 my sins were actually pardoned, was not accompa- 
 nied with any increase of light to my understanding 
 of the way in which God forgives sin. I was as 
 blind to the nature of the great doctrines of the 
 justifying righteousness and atoning blood of Christ, 
 as I had been before. The views which at this 
 
• 52 
 
 time I entertained of Christ's death, were, that he 
 had died -to procure the pardon of such sins as 
 were committed by sinners, while in a state of ig- 
 norance and impenitence. I believed that had 
 Christ not died, there would liave been no pardon 
 for sin, but that his death had opened the door of 
 mercy to penitent sinners of all descriptions. I 
 thought all the design of God, was to bring men to 
 a sense of their moral duty, and to put them once 
 more in a fair way of discharging their moral obli- 
 gations to him. as their Creator and Preserver; and 
 that he had promised those who repented, his as- 
 sistance in all things that were difficult, and his 
 protection from outward danger; and that Christ's 
 death justified God, in granting pardon to penitent 
 sinners, on account of their penitence. I had some 
 faint recollection of what I had read in Boston's 
 Fourfold State, and the instructions I had received 
 in the Sabbath school, and from others, and could 
 discern that there was a difference between them 
 and the instructions I was now hearing, particu- 
 larly on the doctrine of election, and remaining 
 corruption in believers; but I had no fixed ideas 
 on these topics, only just as much as prevented me 
 from thinking that the Methodists were right, in 
 denying, that the doctrines of election, and of re- 
 maining depravity in all believers, were taught in 
 the Bible. I thought they were, but they were 
 not any part of my own fixed belief. I read Wes- 
 ley on Christian perfection, and, although I did 
 not think he gave a sound view of some Scrip- 
 ture texts,*perfection was the thing I was striving 
 io obtain; a perfect obedience to the divine law 
 
53 
 
 was what I had set out to accomplish; and the 
 following lines of one of Mr. Wesley's hymns, 
 were, for a time, very frequent in my mouth, and 
 repeated in secret prayer to God; 
 
 O grant that nothing in my heart 
 May dwell, but thy pure love alone; 
 
 and I resolved that my life should be one scene of 
 devotion and of gratitude to God. I continued to 
 go on pretty smoothly for about six weeks, and I 
 thought I had got the better of sinful inclinations; 
 but when I fancied I was strong, I soon had reason 
 to be convinced that I was weak, had I only been 
 willing to learn; for I again fell into some sins, 
 which I had flattered myself I should never more 
 be guilty of; and this broke my peace of mind, and 
 blasted all my hopes. I however found means to 
 heal the sore again, after having undergone consi- 
 derable pain of mind. I again set out by repent- 
 ing, and trusting in the mercy of God, and resolv- 
 ing on future obedience; but my conduct was not 
 regular, and secret sins, which lay at times very 
 heavy upon my conscience, would overcome me, 
 although I strove against them with all my might. 
 I continued to attend the various meetings, pub- 
 lic and private, amongst the Methodists, while we 
 lay in Athlone. My attendance among them was 
 certainly of great benefit to me, in leading to a train 
 of experience, that materially contributed to make 
 me acquainted with the deep deceitfulness of my 
 own heart. I was indeed slow to learn; but what 
 took place with me at that time, afforded matter 
 for reflection afterwards. I think upon it still, and 
 
oh 
 
 see great reason for humility on account of my" 
 blindness, in not seeing while I was there, that I 
 was without strength and without righteousness, 
 without Christ, and without hope, I can not tell 
 how far the gospel was set before me by the Me- 
 thodists; but I am pretty certain, from some ex- 
 pressions that I have still a faint recollection of, 
 that Christ was set before me in a much clearer 
 light than I at that time apprehended him; I had, 
 all the time I was there, continued in a course of 
 sinning and repenting, making resolutions and 
 breaking them; and, although I suffered great pain 
 of conscience, I succeeded in quieting it by the 
 hope of better success the next time. When we 
 came to leave the place, I felt that I should not 
 have the same privilege, of the means of instruc- 
 tion and social worship, at least for a while to come; 
 and this gave me less hope of myself, and filled 
 me with a greater degree of fear, that I should be 
 more liable to be overcome by temptation, when I 
 should not have the help of the means of grace. 
 
 I may here mention a simple incident that occur- 
 ed while I was in Athlone. One night I was placed 
 sentinel over a prisoner, in the room in which he 
 slept. He was asleep, and I did not disturb him; 
 a book lay near me; I took it up and passed the 
 two hours with it; it was a book of sermons on 
 Contentment, written by an old divine, (if I mis- 
 take not, a Mr. Taylor of London,) but it matters 
 not who the author was. He handled it in a va- 
 riety of lights, and applied the principle of con- 
 tentment to the good works of Christians. I for- 
 got all that I read but the following expressions; he 
 
55 
 
 said, that the genuine disciple of Christ was one, 
 who was willing to do every thing for the sake of 
 Christ, and, at the same time, was content to de- 
 ny all he had done for Christ's sake. The author 
 pursued his subject in a spiritual sense, and I was 
 taken with the book, although I did not understand 
 it. It was, however, written in such a strain of 
 piety, that I was struck with it; my memory kept 
 hold of the words, u do all for Christ, and deny all 
 for Christ;" and I would at times reflect upon them-* 
 as strange and mysterious. I could never under- 
 stand them, but I could not help being struck with 
 them; and when the Lord opened my eyes several 
 years afterwards, I remembered I had read them, 
 and wondered how it was I did not understand 
 them sooner; but I was then carnal; and the things 
 of the Spirit were foolishness to me, for I had not 
 spiritual discernment. 
 
 We left Athlone, and marched to Cork, in June, 
 1799, to embark for England, and join the army 
 that was forming to invade Holland. After leav- 
 ing Athlone, I began to fall off in my attention to 
 serious things. I carried Gray's Sermons in my 
 knapsack, to oblige a comrade who was a Metho- 
 dist, but who had not room for it in his. I carried 
 it to the place of our embarkation, and returned it 
 to him, without having read any part of it. I had 
 read little or nothing of my Bible either, during the 
 march. I found out the Methodist meeting at 
 Cashil, where we stopt a day, and was at worship 
 twice or thrice. 
 
 We lay several weeks encamped at a place call- 
 ed Monkton, near Cork, waiting for vessels to 
 
carry us to England. I was twice or thrice at a 
 prayer meeting during that time; but although the 
 prospect of danger was increasing, I was increas- 
 ingly remiss in attending to religious duties; and 
 this was the case with the most part of those who 
 had been joined with the Methodists. There was 
 only one man in the regiment who was uniformly 
 steady and consistent in these things-. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 I continued in a very careless and listless state 
 of mind during the passage to England. We land- 
 ed at Dover, and marched to Barham downs, 
 where we were encamped. About ten thousand 
 troops were assembled at this place in a few days, 
 and Sir Ralph Abercrombie was appointed to com- 
 mand them. Our regiment was put into a brigade 
 under the command of Sir John Moore. Lord 
 Huntly went upon the expedition as Colonel of the 
 regiment, for he was not yet a General upon the 
 English staff. We marched to Ramsgale, and 
 embarked on board of transports, on the 5th of 
 August, and sailed next day for Holland, under 
 convoy of a fleet of war ships, commanded by Ad- 
 miral Mitchell. A short time after we sailed, the 
 wind became contrary and stormy, and continued 
 so tor about three weeks, which was an uncom- 
 mon circumstance at this season of the year; so 
 that, although the distance was short, the voyage 
 was tedious. This delay allowed time for reflec- 
 
57 
 
 lion, but I did not improve it, for whatever were 
 the passing thoughts of my mind, I was not seri- 
 ously impressed until a few days before we landed. 
 The wind becoming favourable and moderate, we 
 stood in for the coast of Holland, and anchored on 
 the evening of the 24th, near the entrance to the 
 Helder, and began to prepare to land. The Dutch . 
 fleet, of eight sail of the line and three frigates, lay 
 in our sight in the outer road of the Helder; and 
 the fleet of Admiral Duncan, of about an equal 
 number, lay at anchor a few miles from them. 
 The fleet under Admiral Mitchell had an imposing 
 appearance; for it consisted of fifteen sail of the 
 line, and about fifty frigates, sloops of war, cutters, 
 and gun vessels, with about 130 transports. The 
 wind, however, became stormy again on the 25th, 
 and the fleet, under Admiral Mitchell, put to sea; 
 but it moderated during the night, and we return- 
 ed and anchored nearer the shore than before, on 
 the 26th, and prepared to land next morning. The 
 ships of war hoisted the English and Duteh flags 
 together, because the object of our intended inva- 
 sion was to expel the French and restore the for- 
 mer government. The troops on board of the ships 
 nearest the shore (of which the ship I was in was 
 one) were ordered to land first. Our danger was 
 now more imminent than ever it had been before; 
 the probability of being suddenly called from tune 
 to eternity, was more than ever apparent; and I 
 began again to pray and to meditate. We cooked 
 three days' provisions, to carry with us, and were 
 served out with ammunition on the evening pre- 
 vious to our landing; we did not go to rest that 
 
58 
 
 night, but kept on our accoutrements, to be ready 
 to go into the boats when a signal should be made. 
 Such a period is one of great agitation and anxiety. 
 The prospect of landing in the twilight of the 
 morning, on an enemy's coast, ignorant of the na- 
 ture and extent of the danger, where one can not 
 tell whether we may reach the shore, or be driven 
 back as soon as we land, or suddenly overpowered 
 before we can get assistance. These, and the 
 like, are serious considerations at a time like this. 
 During the night I was often praying in my mind 
 for mercy, that the Lord would spare me: and I 
 put on iresh resolutions, that if I was spared, I 
 would serve God with fidelity and diligence. All 
 my prayers were for the preservation of life: I 
 durst not resign myself to death, because I was 
 conscious I was not prepared for judgment. All 
 my hopes for eternity, were founded in reforma- 
 tion of character, and that I had yet to begin; for 
 had I been cut off, at that time, I had no hope of 
 heaven. 
 
 The province of North Holland is a peninsula, 
 formed by (he German ocean on the west, and the 
 Zuyder-sea on the east. The town of Helder 
 stands at the northern extremity, where the Zuy- 
 der-sea communicates with the German ocean, 
 between the Helder point and the Texel island, 
 distant about six miles. The city of Amsterdam 
 stands on the south side of the Zuyder-sea, the 
 common passage to which is by the Helder. A 
 range of sand-hills runs along the coast of the Ger- 
 man ocean, close to the beach, and the country 
 between them and the Zuyder-sea is nearly a per- 
 
51) 
 
 feet flat. Large dykes, or mounds of earth, run 
 along the shores of the Zuyder-sea to protect the 
 tide from overflowing the country, which is below 
 the level of high water. The sand-hills serve for 
 an embankment on the side of the German ocean. 
 The principal arsenal for equipping and repairing 
 the Dutch fleet is near the town of Helder, the 
 greater part of which rendezvouses there; but they 
 are built at Amsterdam and other places in the in- 
 terior, and floated down the Zuyder-sea, on ac- 
 count of the shallowness of its water, and are fitted 
 out for sea at Helder. 
 
 We embarked in the boats early in the morning, 
 and collected at the stern of a gun vessel that 
 lay nearest the shore, where we waited until day- 
 light began to make the coast visible; I continued 
 at intervals offering up ejaculatory prayers to God, 
 for preservation and deliverance. As soon as the 
 coast was discernible, the gun vessel began to fire 
 her guns upon the shore, and the boats rowed oflT, 
 giving three loud cheers. The fire of the different 
 vessels of war that lay along the shore was dread- 
 ful: but as the shot and shells were all thrown at 
 random, the enemy not being visible, it did little 
 damage; but it probably prevented the enemy from 
 appearing on the open beach, by which means we 
 got safely landed. The enemy's troops were post- 
 ed among the sand-hills at* the different points op- 
 posite to our extended anchorage, that were most 
 favourable for landing. These points were chiefly 
 at some distance to the right of the place we land- 
 ed at, where the beach, not being so favourable, 
 was not so strongly guarded. A part of his force* 
 
60 
 
 was also to our left, near the Fort at the entrance 
 to the Helder, where they had a camp. We 
 formed on the heach as we ianded, and began to 
 advance into the sand-hills. Our regiment was 
 near the left of the line; there were only a few of 
 the enemy's picquets that appeared in our front, 
 who retired as we advanced: but the troops on the 
 right had not proceeded far before they fell in with 
 a division of the enemy, when a smart action be- 
 gan. The enemy were quickly driven farther to 
 the right, but fresh columns soon arriving, the ac- 
 tion became increasingly warm, but our troops 
 continued to press upon the enemy, and took up a 
 position across the sand -hills, to cover the right of 
 the debarkation. Sir John Moore's brigade, in 
 which our regiment was, penetrated also across 
 them as soon as possible, and took up a position to 
 cover the left. 
 
 The sand-hills at this place are not of great 
 breadth; the road from Helder to the interior runs 
 along the interior side of them, the peninsula at 
 this place is narrow, and the ground between the 
 sand-hills and the Zuyder-sea is a flat, in many 
 parts swampy. As soon as the first party of our 
 regiment had reached the further side of the sand- 
 hills, they descried that part of the enemy's 
 force that had been posted on bur left, passing 
 along the Helder road to join their forces that were 
 engaged with our right. They were composed of 
 horse artillery, cavalry, and infantry. As soon as 
 they observed our advance picquets, they left the 
 road, and made a circuit through the flat ground to 
 tljeir left; and when thev were out of the reach of 
 
61 
 
 musketry ihey made a pause, and fired two field 
 pieces at us, which did us no hurt, and then pass- 
 ed on and joined their own troops The tire of 
 the ships of war that were anchored to the right 
 and left of the point of debarkation, prevented the 
 enemy from attempting to march along the beach 
 to disturb the landing. They also protected the 
 right flank of the troops that were engaged with the 
 enemy, but he attacked their front with his infan- 
 try, and their left flank with his artillery; which 
 he kept upon the flat ground, on the inside of the 
 sand-hills, protected by his cavalry. Indeed in- 
 fantry were the only troops that were capable of 
 lighting among the sand-hills. Fresh columns 
 continuing to arrive during the course of the day, 
 to the support of the enemy, he maintained the 
 contest and renewed his efforts to dislodge our 
 troops, but as they also were reinforced by those 
 that continued to land, they repulsed all his attacks 
 and gained ground; but, as we had neither artil- 
 lery nor cavalry, we dared not to attack his that 
 were posted in the plain, nor was it expedient to 
 advance far until the army should all be landed. 
 The enemy continued his efforts from five o'clock 
 in the morning till four o'clock in the alternoon, 
 when the army was nearly ail landed, and some 
 pieces of artillery were brought to bear upon the 
 enemy's cavalry and artillery. The troops then 
 charged his infantry, and drove them beyond 
 Challantes Ogg, a place where an inundation of 
 water from the Zuyder-sea contracts the peninsula 
 nearly to the breadth of the sand-hills. The ene- 
 my then retreated into the interior, and left us ia 
 6 
 
62 
 
 possession of our position, which separated hint 
 from the Helder. Another fleet of transports, with 
 five thousand additional troops from England, ap- 
 peared at sea in the afternoon, and anchored in 
 the evening. Our regiment was not engaged 
 through this day; but Sir John Moore's brigade 
 was destined to attack the batteries and town of 
 Helder next morning, if the enemy's garrison still 
 remained in them. The loss of the army during 
 this day's conflict was about a thousand men killed 
 and wounded. Our regiment lost sixteen men, 
 who were drowned in the act of landing, the boat 
 having struck on a bank at some distance from the 
 shore; the men got out of the boat, but got into 
 deep water before they reached the beach, and 
 the swell having increased at the time they were 
 landing, they, along with several seamen belong- 
 ing to the boat, were drowned. I knew most of 
 them; one of them was a particular acquaintance, 
 whose death made a strong impression on my 
 mind. 
 
 As soon as it was fully dark our brigade march- 
 ed away for the Helder There is some*hing im- 
 pressive in a march under the cloud of night, in a 
 strange land, where we can not tell the danger we 
 are in, and have to move forward in solemn 
 silence. It was ordered, that no man was to speak 
 above his breath during the march; and all orders 
 to halt, or move forward, were given the same 
 way. We had frequent stops, which made us, 
 who were not in the front, often wonder what was 
 the matter. Such a march is a service in which 
 the mind undergoes much harassing anxiety, and 
 
63 
 
 the body much fatigue. Having come near to the 
 Helder, we halted, and lay under arms, in a state 
 of great anxiety, until daylight; several of their 
 ships of war were then seen at anchor near the 
 town, but they got quickly under weigh, and their 
 whole fleet anchored in the Zuyder-sea, about 12 
 miles from the Heldrr; which was the farthest 
 distance they could go to on account of the shal- 
 lowness of the water. After waiting some time 
 we obtained information that the enemy had eva- 
 cuated the various forts and batteries about the 
 place. We sent out small detachments, who found 
 that it was so, and we then entered the place, and 
 put guards in the different works. When I reflect- 
 ed on the dangers we bad escaped, I was filled 
 with wonder; but I soon forgot them all; and 
 during the few days that we lay in the town of 
 Helder, my conduct, in place of being better, was 
 worse than ordinary. 
 
 The transports, and a number of our frigates, 
 came into the Helder next day, and the artillery, 
 cavalry, and stores, were landed in the harbour. 
 The day following the ships of the line came in, 
 and admiral Mitchel went forward to the Dutch 
 fleet, with a squadron of nine sail of the line, and 
 five frigates. The Dutch fleet then surrendered 
 without firing a shot, and hoisted the orange flag. 
 Their crews were in a state of mutiny at the time, 
 partly out of disaffection to the new republican 
 government, but more particularly for want ol pay. 
 When tiny were ordered to prepare for action 
 they refused to fight, and threw the balls and car- 
 tridges into the sea. It would, indeed, have been 
 
64 
 
 a useless waste of blood for them to have resisted, 
 for if the squadron that went to them had not 
 been sufficient to have reduced them, there were 
 more than enough of war ships, of all descriptions, 
 at hand to have completely overwhelmed them; 
 for after the batteries of the Helder were in our 
 possession, they had no way of saving their ships 
 to their country but by taking out their guns and 
 masts to lighten them, and towing them through 
 the shallow water to some of the ports in the in- 
 terior, out of our reach. And why they did not 
 do so is not easily accounted for. Besides this 
 fleet of eight sail of the line, three frigates, and a 
 sloop, there were two sail of the line, eleven 
 frigates and smaller vessels of war, and three East 
 India ships lying in the harbour, in various con- 
 ditions. A large quantity of ammunition and 
 stores, and a great number of cannon for the 
 equipment of ships, were found in the arsenal, ex- 
 clusive of the guns and mortars that were on the 
 batteries, many of which were brass. 
 
 The army lay among the sand-hills, where it 
 had fought on the day of landing, until the 1st 
 September, when the artillery and cavalry being 
 Ian ied, it moved forward into the interior of the 
 country. Our regiment left the Helder, another 
 occupying it, and joined the army, which took up 
 a position in the afternoon, upon one of those huge 
 dykes that are in Holland, which extended from 
 the German Ocean, where we posted our right, to 
 the Zuyder-sea, where we posted our left, a dis- 
 tance of about eight miles. We occupied it, at 
 all the parts that were passable, and threw up 
 
65 
 
 works upon it, particularly at the extremities. It 
 formed a most excellent position of defence in 
 such a flat country, on account of its thickness 
 and height. The top of it was so broad that any 
 carriages had full liberty to pass, and was one of 
 the best roads in the country; and it was not 
 made in a straight line, but bent in curves, like 
 the bastions of a garrison line wall. A large ditch 
 runs the whole length in front of it, with large re- 
 servoirs of water in the curves. The use of this 
 dyke was to prevent the rain that falls in the win- 
 ter, on the south side of it, from flooding the coun- 
 try on the north side, where the level is lower. 
 The reservoirs in the curves of the dyke receive 
 the water, and there are sluices that are opened to 
 allow it to pass by degrees, under the dyke, into a 
 large canal, a little in the rear of it, from whence 
 it is let out into the sea, when ihe tide is low. 
 We had no tents, but were lodged in the farm 
 houses, which, in Holland, are large, and of a 
 peculiar construction, having the byre, stable, hay- 
 loft, and barn, under one large oblong square roof, 
 made of thatch. A great number of these houses 
 were ranged at such regular distances, along the 
 banks of the canals, in the rear of the dyke, that 
 they formed convenient cantonments; and each 
 house contained from one to two hundred, who 
 slept in a loft among the hay, without any other 
 covering than their great coats and the hay. The 
 fields are all divided by broad and deep ditches, in 
 place of hedges, which are only to be seen upon 
 parts of the road sides, and round the orchards at 
 the farm houses and gentlemen's seats. All the 
 6* 
 
66 
 
 ditches have communications with the large canals 
 that communicate with the sea. A great number 
 of windmills are employed in forcing the water 
 up into the canals, which are above the level of 
 the ground in the winter time, and in forcing the 
 water into the ditches whose elevation is highest, 
 from whence it flows over locks into the lower 
 ditches in the summer season, so that the ditches 
 are always full. The apparatus of the wind-mills 
 is simple: a number of long broad paddles are 
 fixed in an axle, the lower ends of which dip into a 
 box of little more than their own breadth, into 
 which the water of the lower level flows, and the 
 rapidity with which the paddles are driven makes 
 them throw the water off their flat sides, to ail the 
 height that is needed. The country being below 
 the level of the sea, there are no spring-wells of 
 fresh water in it. The rain that falls on the roofs 
 of their houses is conveyed into a cistern, built of 
 brick, sunk in the ground at the side of the door, 
 or under one of the corners of the house, and some 
 of them have an opening into the cistern both within 
 and on the outside of the house. The Dutch are 
 proverbial for their cleanliness and ingenious in- 
 dustry. I admired, among other things, their way 
 of churning their butter. A large wheel, with a 
 broad rim, the spokes of which were fastened to 
 the one side of the rim, was fixed upon a nave in 
 the wall, at one of the corners of the house, with 
 the spokes next to the wall; small pieces of wood 
 were nailed across the inside of the rim; a belt 
 that was upon the rim turned a crank that was 
 above it; the churn stood on the floor under the 
 
67 
 
 crank which lifted the churn staff up and down; 
 there was a close !id upon the chum, with a slit 
 in the centre, in which the churn staff moved, so 
 much of which was flat as allowed it to move in 
 the slit. The wheel was turned round by a dog, 
 who was put into the inside of the rim upon the 
 open side; he catched the small cross pieces of 
 wood, that were on the inside of the fore part of 
 the rim, at some height, with his feet, and the 
 weight of his body turned the wheel. The poor 
 dog was tied by a cord round his neck at such a 
 height, to an upright post at the side of the fore 
 part of the wheel, that if he did not work he would 
 be hanged. There were generally two dogs em- 
 ployed, the one relieving the other. 
 
 The Dutchmen wear large small-clothes and 
 cocked hats; the women wear stays and hoops in 
 their petticoats, and low crowned broad brimmed 
 straw hats; but I did not see any that were gaudy, 
 or ragged, in any part of the country I was in. 
 
 On the I Oth of September, 1799, the enemy, 
 having received accessions to their number, at- 
 tacked us in our position. It was known to them, 
 that we were shortly to receive large reinforce- 
 ments; and they determined to attack us before 
 these arrived. A strong party attacked the posi- 
 tion entrusted to our regiment, which was the first 
 time that we were in actual action with an enemy. 
 The dyke sheltered us from their shot; for when 
 they drew near, we stood on the top of it and fired 
 a volley or two, which drove them back, and then 
 w T e sheltered ourselves from the fire of their artil- 
 lery by sitting down on the near side of it. The 
 
68 
 
 shot whistled over our heads, and fell, when its 
 strength was spent, on the ground in our rear, 
 The enemy was repulsed at all points with loss. 
 Our regiment's loss was small; one man killed, 
 and the captain of the grenadiers, and three men 
 wounded. General Moore was also slightly wound- 
 ed. When the main body of the enemy retreated, 
 a number of their riflemen remained behind them, 
 under the cover of a house that was near the dyke; 
 one of them came from under the cover, and ran 
 to join the main body; he was instantly fired at I 
 dare say by twenty; yet he got clear off, without 
 any appearance of being hurt. The risk that he 
 ran deterred the remainder from following him, 
 and they surrendered themselves prisoners of war, 
 in number a^out one hundred. 
 
 Shortly after the action of the 10th, a number 
 of troops arrived from England, along with the 
 Duke of York, who took the chief command of 
 the army. A large body of Russian troops also 
 joined us, which increased our number to about 
 thirty-five thousand. And on the 19th September 
 the whole moved forward to attack the enemy. 
 Sir Ralph Abercrombie, with about eight or ten 
 thousand men, of which our brigade was a part, 
 marched the preceding night past the right flank 
 of the- enemy, and took the town of Hoorn by sur- 
 prise. We were now a good way in the rear of 
 the enemy's right, and it was intended that the 
 Duke of York, with the main body of the army, 
 should dislodge the enemy from his positions, and 
 that we should then attack them on their flank and 
 rear, and cut off their retreat. 
 
69 
 
 The Duke was successful at the outset of the 
 action, but the Russians under his command fall- 
 ing into disorder, the enemy rallied upon them, 
 repulsed them, and took a great number of them 
 prisoners, which compelled the Duke to retreat. 
 We heard the firing of the cannon while we lay 
 on our arms, waiting for orders to move, but, when 
 word was brought that the Duke of York had been 
 driven back, we retired the same way that we 
 came, and were not engaged in this action. We 
 began now to say that we were a lucky regiment; 
 various expressions were used by the soldiers, 
 when speaking of our good luck, (as it was called) 
 some of them very foolish, which I do not mention. 
 Some said, that there were too many old women 
 in Scotland, praying for their children and friends, 
 to allow us to be exposed* to great danger. I began 
 to reflect seriously upon our past preservation, and 
 the bad improvement that we were making of it; 
 and the thought made me tremble: I thought, " It 
 may be, that God has been more favourable to us 
 than to others, on account of the prayers of godly 
 relatives at home; but his kindness has a claim 
 upon our gratitude, and if it does not produce gra- 
 tiude from us to him, he may be provoked to punish 
 us severely, and make his punishment in propor- 
 tion to his past kindness; and the longer that he 
 bears with us, the stroke may be the heavier when 
 it comes; and although we have as yet escaped 
 more than other regiments, in the next battle it 
 may be, that for hardening ourselves in sin, and 
 flattering ourselves with security, on account of 
 the prayers of godly relatives, we may suffer more 
 
70 
 
 severely than any others:" — and my fears were 
 not groundless. 
 
 The sand-hills which run along the sea coast 
 from Helder, terminated a little in the rear of 
 Patten, where our right was posted, and com- 
 menced again about three miles farther south, in 
 our front. An embankment of sand fills up this 
 breach, and prevents the sea from flowing over 
 the flat country. Tufts of strong straw are set in 
 the sand in regular rows, like plants in a garden, 
 the whole breadth and length of the embankment. 
 The tops of the tufts rise upwards of a foot above 
 the surface of the sand, and the sand that is wash- 
 ed up by the tide or blown by the wind, lodges 
 about their roots, and as the tufts are regularly re- 
 newed, they not only preserve this bank of light 
 sand from diminishing, 1 but also increase its size 
 and solidity. The left of the enemy's army was 
 posted at the commencement of the sand-hills. It 
 was determined that Sir Ralph Abercrombie, with 
 a division of British troops, should attack the ene- 
 my posted there, while the Duke of York, with 
 the other division of the army, should attack 
 their positions in the flat country. We left our 
 cantonments before one o'clock of the morning 
 of the 2d October, and assembled before day- 
 break on the beach in front of the enemy's 
 lines. At day-break we began to drive in their 
 outposts; and continued to advance along the sea- 
 side, while another part of the army advanced 
 along the inland side of the sand-hills, with a line 
 of communication across them. The breadth of 
 the beach along which we advanced was various: 
 
(the attack had been several days delayed, on ac- 
 count of stormy weather, which drove the sea so 
 far upon the beach, as to leave no passage betwixt 
 the sand-hills and the water:) it admitted some- 
 times of two or three companies to march abreast, 
 and sometimes scarcely of one. We had four 
 pieces of cannon in front, which fired upon the 
 enemy, who retired along the beach as we ad- 
 vanced. I passed close by a man who had been 
 struck with a cannon ball upon the knee joint; the 
 ball had carried away the joint, and left a liga- 
 ment of skin on each side of it, which held the 
 leg suspended to the thigh. A little farther, I 
 passed near a man who lay stretched upon his 
 back, dead; — his eyes and countenance had some- 
 thing in them peculiarly dreadful; yet he appeared 
 to be only shot through the thigh with a musket 
 ball: — but it was the centre of it, and it had 
 proved instantly mortal. I was so struck with this 
 man's ghastly appearance, that I thought with my- 
 self, " Were I a poet, I would choose, as my sub- 
 ject, the horrors of war, that I might persuade 
 mankind not to engage in it." — As we continued 
 to advance, the sand-hills increased in breadth, 
 which required additional troops to fill up the line 
 of communication across them; we who remained 
 upon the beach, saw nothing that was doing in 
 the interior of the sand -hills; and as the firing 
 there was only musketry, the roar of the sea upon 
 the beach prevented us from hearing it, except 
 when it was close to us. We had frequent and 
 long pauses, waiting for the movement of others. 
 There was a great deal of bloodshed in the interior 
 of the sand-hills, by the continued skirmishing, 
 
72 
 
 and detached attacks upon particular points. — 
 These sand-hills were admirably adapted for this 
 mode of warfare; the enemy would have been 
 much more easily driven out of trenches; — for the 
 sand-hills, were the same as a succession of trench- 
 es, so that when the enemy saw our troops ad- 
 vancing, they continued to fire upon us until they 
 saw that we were just near enough to allow them 
 time safely to retire to the next range of hills. The 
 sand-hills are not much unlike snow blown into 
 wreaths, by a strong wind: they are various in 
 their heights and shapes; some being conical and 
 steep, and others running in winding ridges; and 
 the sand is so light, as to be carried about with the 
 wind. It is extremely difficult to walk amongst it, 
 being like dry snow, a little hard on the surface, 
 which when once broken, is almost impassable: 
 here and there, there are chasms, and hollow flats 
 of various extents among them. 
 
 Towards the afternoon we drew near a place 
 called Egmont, a small fishing town among the 
 sand-hills, near to where the battle of Camper- 
 down vvas fought. Here the enemy had drawn a 
 number of fishing sloops and schuyts upon the 
 beach, in two lines, leaving intervals between 
 them, for their troops to pass. These formed a 
 cover to their columns from our shot, and conceal- 
 ed their cavalry from our view. During the action 
 they had receiv&i a reinforcement, which they 
 pushed along the sand-hills close to the beach. 
 The line across these, owing to their increased 
 breadth, now occupied all the regiments of our 
 division but ourselves. The enemy began to press* 
 
73 
 
 hard upon the troops that were near us, and sd 
 posted themselves as to annoy us who were stand- 
 ing upon the beach; we were a considerable time 
 exposed to this, and had a number both of officers 
 and men wounded, amongst which was Lord 
 Huntly, our Coionei, and a son of Sir Ralph 
 Abercrombie, who was at that time an ensign in 
 the regiment. A situation of this kind is the most 
 irksome for a soldier to be in; for when actively 
 engaged, the fury and bustle of action, to a con- 
 siderable degree, banishes the dread of danger from 
 the mind. 
 
 During the march along the beach, and the fre- 
 quent pauses we made, my mind had time fop 
 serious reflection; I was alive to a sense of present 
 clanger; and having no well grounded hope fop 
 eternity should death be the issue, was led to pray 
 earnestly to God for mercy. While standing ex- 
 posed to the fire of the enemy, and the balls whis- 
 tling over us and amongst us, my former sins came 
 into my mind, with all my broken vows and resolu- 
 tions; my past ingratitude stared me in the face, 
 and made me tremble, but a sense of present dan- 
 ger made me pray earnestly for mercy to pardon 
 my sins, and to preserve my life; I confessed that 
 I did not deserve what I sought, but I cast myself 
 on the mercy of God, and with increasing forti- 
 tude, as I thought, resolved once more to forsake 
 every sin, and live only to him.— The enemy 
 having increased in numbers, the troops in the 
 sand-hills next to the beach began to give way. 
 Four companies detached from our regiment, with 
 Sir John Moore at their head, went to reinforce 
 
74 
 
 them; but they were also soon overpowered; and 
 Sir John was wounded in three parts of the body, 
 and with difficulty escaped being taken prisoner; 
 the remaining six companies were then ordered to 
 form in three divisions, and march forward along 
 the beach, and then to wheel to our left, and 
 charge the enemy. I was in the front division. 
 We marched forward, and passed a number of the 
 enemy's troops, and came to a place where there 
 was a more than ordinary opening, and the sand 
 rose pretty high, in the form of a semicircle; into 
 this opening we wheeled, and were instantly ex- 
 posed to a fire upon both our flanks and front. 
 This staggered us, and we began to fire upon the 
 enemy, in place of pushing instantly forward to 
 that part of the height that was on our right, 
 driving the enemy from it, and taking up a posi- 
 tion there, from which we could have done them 
 more harm, and not have been so much exposed 
 ourselves. We continued to stand still and fire for 
 a few seconds, and then began to move forward, 
 firing as we advanced; the other two divisions had 
 wheeled into various openings in the sand-hills in 
 our rear, at the same time that we did. They 
 were strongly opposed by the enemy, who were 
 Very superior in number; but hearing the firing of 
 our division in their rear, the enemy who opposed 
 them began to retreat into the interior of the sand- 
 hills; those who opposed us did the same, and we 
 continued to pursue them; but the action soon be- 
 came on both sides quite irregular; for the sand- 
 bills separated us into parties, so that the one party 
 frequently did not see what the other was doing, 
 
75 
 
 and, in some instances, parties of our troops came 
 suddenly upon parties of the enemy. In one in- 
 stance, one of our parties having climbed to the top 
 of a sand ridge, found that a party of the enemy 
 was just beneath, and instantly rushed down the 
 ridge upon them; but the side of the ridge was so 
 steep ami soft, that the effort to keep themselves 
 from falling prevented them from making regular 
 use of their arms. They were involuntarily pre- 
 cipitated amongst the enemy, and the bottom of 
 the ridge was so narrow, and the footing on all 
 sides so soft, that neither party were able, for want 
 of room, to make use of the bayonet; but they 
 struck at each other with the butts of th< ir tire- 
 locks, and some individuals were fighting with 
 their fists. — For three quarters of an hour we 
 maintained a furious action, and drove the enemy 
 to a considerable distance; but so many had been 
 killed, and wounded, and scattered, that the offi- 
 cers could no longer collect any great number into 
 one body. We then began to retreat: the enemy 
 turned upon us, and we lost a number of men by 
 their fire during the retreat. Our previous ad- 
 vance had exhausted our bodily strength, and we 
 were much in want of water. I was very thirsty, 
 and began to grow very weak. In the course 
 of the retreat we came to a pretty steep rise of 
 sand. I felt myself unable to go over it in a straight 
 line, so had to make a circuit, to get over it where 
 it was lower; although it was almost a matter of 
 life and death with me, for a party of the enemy 
 was close behind us. As I was making this cir- 
 cuit, a party, I think in number about six or seven, 
 
76 
 
 fired at me all at once; (I was their only object;) 
 and I distinctly observed several balls strike the 
 sand ridge, both before and behind me, about 
 breast high. I really believe that had I been a 
 span- breadth farther forward or backwards from 
 the spot where I at the moment was, there would 
 have been several balls through my body. Before 
 any more fired at me, I got over the ridge, which 
 then secured me; and I joined the regiment, which 
 was near, and had taken up a position in the in- 
 terior of the sand-hills; and some fresh troops 
 arriving, the enemy was repulsed. 
 
 1 no doubt had many hair-breadth escapes 
 during the action, of which I was insensible; but 
 the one I have mentioned, appeared to me as a 
 wonderful mercy of Providence, .and I looked upon 
 it as laying me under an additional obligation to de- 
 vote my whole life to the service of God. If I was 
 bound to serve him, because he was my Creator, 
 I was now doubly bound to serve him, for my 
 wonderful preservation; and i thought that the ties 
 by which I was now bound, would undoubtedly 
 have this effect. I thought I should never indulge 
 in any thing that was sinful; but I was still blind 
 to my own weakness; I had thought the same 
 thing, and had promised accordingly, in prayer to 
 God, at the outset of the action; yet the action 
 was scarcely begun, before I joined my comrades 
 in furious, opprobrious, and profane language 
 against the enemy. Many sins were thus unob- 
 served by me, and did not affect my conscience at 
 the lime. 
 
 During the time that we w r ere engaged in the 
 
77 
 
 interior of the sand-hills, the enemy, seeing no in- 
 fantry on the beach to protect our guns, sent out 
 his cavalrv, from their covert at Egmont, to se.ze 
 them. Our cavalry had gone into the chasms of 
 the sand-hills, that were next the beach, a little in 
 the rear, to shelter themselves from the fire of the 
 enemy's cannon. They formed upon the beach, 
 and sprang forward to meet the enemy, who had, 
 by this time, reached the guns. They charged 
 the enemy briskly, and drove them back with con- 
 siderable loss, and pursued them close to Egmont. 
 But, what is something singular, the infantry par- 
 ties of French and British, that were on the sand- 
 hills next the beach, suspended, as it were by 
 mutual consent, their firing, to become spectators 
 of the cavalry, and did not commence again until 
 the contest of the cavalry was decided. 
 
 The firing ceased sometime before sunset; I was 
 much in want of water, and went along with 
 another to search for it. We found it at last, in 
 the hollow of the opening of the sand-hills, into 
 which we had wheeled when we left the beach 
 and engaged the enemy. There had been a good 
 deal of rain some days before: and the trampling 
 of our feet upon the surface of the sand had brought 
 water to it, which being observed by some who 
 came to the place afterwards, they dug a small 
 hole in the sand, and put into it the sides of an 
 empty broken ammunition box, which served for 
 cradling; and the hole was soon filled with good 
 water. A number more of such kind of wells were 
 presently made, and plenty of water got, which 
 supplied both horse and foot. We filled our can- 
 7* 
 
78 
 
 teens; and then went to look among the dead and 
 wounded, for a comrade, of whom we could get 
 no certain account. The spectacle of the dead, 
 the dying, and the wounded, greatly affected me. 
 The dead were lying stiff on the ground, in vari- 
 ous postures; but death had so altered their coun- 
 tenances, that of all that I saw, belonging to the 
 regiment, with many of whom I had been familiar, 
 I knew only two; and it was by peculiar marks, 
 such as death could not alter, that we distinguished 
 even them. The groaning of the wounded was 
 very afflicting; for they were mostly bad cases, all 
 that were able to walk or crawl having removed 
 farther to the rear; and all the assistance that 
 could be given to those who were unable to move, 
 was to carry them from the spot where they were 
 lying, to a place of greater shelter. This had been 
 in part already done, and the wounded were lying 
 in groupes, in the best sheltered hollows adjacent 
 to the beach. The universal cry of these poor men 
 was for water. I supplied them as far as I was 
 able, both enemies and friends, and amongst the 
 rest one of our own officers, who was most se- 
 verely wounded. 1 had to hold him up and put 
 the canteen to his mouth, for he was unable to 
 help himself; he died during the night. We did 
 not find the object of our search; but we got after- 
 wards certain account of his having been wounded, 
 and probable accounts of his death; and we never 
 heard more of him. 
 
 I returned to join the regiment, ruminating on 
 the affecting sight I had seen, and grieved for the 
 loss of comrades and acquaintances. When the 
 
79 
 
 regiment was mustered in the evening, about one 
 half were amissing; but about thirty joined in a 
 day or two after, who had lost the regiment. We 
 were upwards of 600 strong; and our loss in kill- 
 ed, wounded and prisoners (of whom there were 
 40), was 288. The company to which I belong- 
 ed, entered the field with 59 rank and file, and 
 three Serjeants, out of which 5 were killed on the 
 field, and 24 were wounded, 5 of whom died in a 
 few days, and three shortly after. Of the rest, 
 few recovered, so as to be fit for service. The 
 regiment had suffered this severe loss in about three 
 quarters of an hour. There was a universal gloom 
 upon every countenance, when we looked to the 
 smailness of our number, when we were mustered; 
 and there was no one, but what had lost comrades 
 and associates, and some had lost relatives. Af- 
 ter it w 7 as dark, we planted our picquets, and the 
 remainder of us lay down among the sand. I re- 
 flected upon my own escape — upon the great num- 
 ber who had already been launched into eternity, 
 and others whom I had seen groaning under the 
 pain of wounds, which would soon prove mortal to 
 many of them. I thanked God for his kindness 
 to me, and promised to keep his commandments 
 in future. 
 
 We lay three days among the sand hills: the 
 weather was cold; the nights stormy and wet. — 
 We w 7 ere waiting for the movements of the other 
 divisions of the army, in the interior of the country. 
 The day after the battle, we buried such of our 
 dead as were adjacent to us. One man belonging 
 to the company I was in, was found dead, without 
 
80 
 
 any mark of violence on his body. He was lying 
 on the ascent of a sand-ridge, and had fallen on 
 the retreat. We conjectured, that fatigue and 
 want of water h*d occasioned his death. I was 
 informed of another singular case: A Frenchman 
 and a Highlander had charged upon each othtr; 
 the Frenchman had parried the thrust of the High- 
 lander, and run him through the body; the High- 
 lander had then let go his hold of the butt end of 
 his piece with his right hand, and seized, with a 
 death-grasp, the throat of the Frenchman; who, 
 to extricate himself, had also let go the hold which 
 he had of his firelock with his right hand, and 
 seized the wrist of the Highlander, to pull it away 
 from his throat; but he had been unable: — the 
 Frenchman had then staggered backwards, and 
 had fallen on his back; and the Highlander above 
 him, still retaining hold of his throat; and, in the 
 struggle that had then taken place, the head of the 
 Highlander had projected so far over the head of 
 the Frenchman, as to bring that part of the body 
 of the former in which the bayonet was, over the 
 mouth of the latter; and in this posture both had 
 expired. Those who saw it, said, the sight was 
 truly shocking. The Frenchman was fairly stran- 
 gled; his eyes were out of their sockets; his tongue 
 was greatly swelled, and thrust far out of his 
 mouth, into which the blood from the wound of 
 the Highlander was running. Each still held a 
 firm hold of his firelock with his left hand; and 
 when the Highlander was removed from the 
 Frenchman, and laid along-side of him, he still 
 kept such a firm grasp of his throat, that he raised 
 
81 
 
 the body of the Frenchman from the ground, and 
 it was with difficulty it was extricated from the 
 hold. 
 
 The result of the battle of the 2d October com- 
 pelled the enemy to abandon his positions, and 
 evacuate the town of Alkmaar, which was his head 
 quarters, and iall back nearer to Amsterdam. — 
 Alkmaar was occupied by our troops on the 3d, 
 a-nd as our brigade had been much reduced in num- 
 ber, we were ordered to go there to term a part of 
 its intended garrison. The peninsula is here of 
 considerable breadth, and the country much supe- 
 rior to that on the north side of the long dyke, but 
 it is still intersected with deep broad ditches and 
 canals, which greatly impede military operations. 
 The rain that had lately fallen had filled the ca- 
 bals and ditches so full of water, that the edges 
 and lower parts of the roads were beginning to be 
 covered, as we passed from Esmont to Alkmaar; 
 and as the roads, for want of stone, were made of 
 earth, or a slight layer of sand upon earth or clay, 
 they were beginning to be deep. There are nar- 
 row foot-paths laid with brick, between some of 
 the towns. Alkmaar is a town of considerable 
 size, surrounded with a high mound of earth and 
 a canal; all the entrances to it are over draw- 
 bridges and through gates, the principal of which 
 have cannon mounted on them. The streets are 
 paved with whinstone in the centre, and on the 
 sides with brick or flags, and a number of large 
 canals run through the centre of the principal of 
 them. 
 
 We entered the town on the 5th, and next day, 
 
82 
 
 which was Sunday, the garrison was taken to the 
 church, to attend divine service. The Dutch con- 
 gregation had heen dismissed; but their minister, 
 and a number of others, remained, to be a witness 
 of our service. The church was large, and of 
 Gothic structure, and had the largest and most 
 highly ornamented organ I ever saw. The enemy 
 had received reinforcements the day before, and 
 he commenced an attack upon the positions of the 
 army, at the time we were in the church. The 
 prayers of the liturgy had been read, and the mi- 
 nister had begun his sermon, when we began to 
 hear the noise of cannon at a distance; by the time 
 the sermon was ended, the firing of cannon had 
 approached nearer the town and was beginning to 
 be heavy, and the musketry was heard to mingle 
 in the roar; and the large organ played Malbrouk 
 as we left the church, to repair to our alarm posts. 
 The action continued to be warmly contested, un- 
 til after it was dark; but the enemy was repulsed, 
 and fell back to his position, and one hundred and 
 eighty-eight prisoners were taken, and brought 
 into Alkmaar on the morning of the 7th. 
 
 About two o'clock in the afternoon the prisoners 
 were assembled, and a captain and forty men, of 
 whom I was one, were appointed to escort them to 
 our former head-quarters, on the north side of the 
 long dyke. Only thirty of the prisoners were 
 French; the others were Dutchmen, and had put' 
 up the orange cockade after they were made pri- 
 soners. Numbers of them had money, with which 
 they procured gin before we left the town; and 
 they drank aud sung songs (which we believed 
 
83 
 
 were in praise of their former government), as we 
 went along the road. The Frenchmen, who were 
 enthusiastic republicans, scorned the Dutch for 
 putting up the orange cockade, and kept by them- 
 selves, on the front of the party. We kept them 
 all in good humour, and until the fatigue of tra- 
 velling had exhausted our strength, the march of 
 the prisoners resembled more the merry air of a 
 wedding procession, than of that gloom which the 
 thought of their being under an escort of their ene- 
 mies, and on the way to a prison in a foreign land, 
 might naturally be expected to produce. It con- 
 tinued to rain upon us the greater part of the way, 
 this, with the deepness of the roads and the length 
 of the journey, fatigued us exceedingly, and scat- 
 tered us into parties; yet, notwithstanding of this, 
 and although a great part of the journey was per- 
 formed after it was dark, and although the prison- 
 ers were in their own country, none of them at- 
 tempted to escape. When we had delivered them 
 over to another guard, to watch them through the 
 night, we retired to rest in the expectation of re- 
 turning to Alkmaar next day. but we were sur- 
 prised to hear in the morning, that the army was 
 retreating; and in a few hours, the various divi- 
 sions arrived and resumed the positions they had 
 occupied previous to the battle of the 2d. 
 
 The reasons of this retrograde movement were 
 the badness of the roads from Helder to the inte- 
 rior. The army received its bread from the fleet, 
 and all the ammunition and military stores; the 
 roads were becoming impassable, and the farthen 
 we advanced, the difficulties of fetching our sup- 
 
8* 
 
 plies from the Helder were increasing. The 
 French armies in Switzerland, and on the Rhine, 
 had gained decisive victories, which enabled them 
 to detach large bodies ot troops, which were on 
 their way, to reinforce their army in Holland, 
 -which would then become so strong as to be able 
 to overpower us. It had, therefore, been deter- 
 mined to retreat while the roads were passable, 
 lest our retreat might be cut off. The army re- 
 tired from all its positions early in the morning, 
 and the rear guard left Alkmaar early in the day. — 
 The enemy, after being repulsed on the 6th, was 
 apprehensive that we might attack him, and was 
 prepared, in that case, to retire to Haarlem; our 
 retreating was not expected by him, and it was 
 about 10 o'clock in the forenoon before his ad- 
 vanced cavalry picquets discerned that Alkmaar 
 was evacuated, when they entered and found a 
 few drunken women and soldiers, whose intoxica- 
 tion prevented them from knowing that the army 
 had retreated. In a few days after the retreat of 
 the army, an armistice was agreed upon, the con- 
 ditions of which were, that we should evacuate 
 Holland by the end of November, and release eight 
 thousand prisoners without exchange, as a boon 
 for our being allowed quietly to re-embark. This 
 agreement put an end to hostilities, and prepara- 
 tions were made to send home the troops with all 
 possible expedition; but, before we left the country, 
 I caught the ague, and after we had arrived in En- 
 gland, in the beginning of November, 1799, I was 
 put into the hospital in Chelmsford, twenty-six 
 miles from Loudon. I was greatly reduced in 
 
83 
 
 body before I recovered, which was not until the 
 beginning of the next year, 1800. — God's mercy 
 in granting me a recovery from the ague, impressed 
 my mind with the additional obligations I was now 
 laid under to serve him: — but, as formerly, my 
 resolutions of mind were soon broken; conscience 
 soon found matter of accusation against me; I was 
 at times careless and listless, and at other times 
 thoughtful and pensive. The barracks in which 
 we lay, were about a mile from the town of Chelms- 
 ford. There was a tabernacle in the town, where 
 there was a sermon once a fortnight in the evening. 
 I went several times to it; and the sermons serv- 
 ed to awaken my religious impressions. One 
 evening, the preacher described a case of con- 
 science; which I thought not unlike my own; and 
 among other directions, he exhorted the person 
 who might be in such a case, to lay it before God 
 in prayer. After the service was over, I shunned 
 my companions; returned to the barracks alone, 
 and prayed to God for light and direction as I 
 went along the road; and I set about reforming my 
 conduct once more. But I soon fell through it, 
 and was thrown as far back as ever. — There were 
 no religious meetings in the regiment, from the 
 time we left Ireland until a good while after this. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 We left Chelmsford on the 14th of April, and 
 marched to the Isle of Wight, where we lay until 
 8 
 
8B 
 
 the 27th May. I was once in the Methodist 
 meeting house while we lay in the town of New- 
 port. On the 27th May, 1800, we embarked on 
 board the Diadem, 64 guns, and the Inconstant 
 frigate, both armed en flute (i. e. partially armed), 
 and fitted for the reception of troops. We left all 
 our women and heavy baggage in the Isle of Wight; 
 and as we were not informed where we were go- 
 ing, this circumstance led us to conjecture, that 
 we were destined for some desperate and secret 
 enterprise. We were joined by some more ships 
 with troops, and sailed down the English channel, 
 until we fell in with the Channel fleet, under the 
 command ol Sir John Jarvis. Sir Edward Pel- 
 lew, (now Lord Exmouth,) was sent along with 
 us, with a squadron of eight ships of war. It was 
 a magnificent sight to see the Channel fleet in re- 
 gular order. They were in number forty-four ships 
 of the line, (a large proportion of them three- 
 deckers) and a number of frigates. We sailed 
 along the cost of France until we came to the bay 
 of Quiberon, where we came to an anchor on the 
 2d June, near a small island called Houet, lying 
 betwixt the isle of Belleisle and the main land, 
 about four or five miles from the latter, and six or 
 seven from Belleisle. 
 
 On the. 4th, which was the anniversary of his 
 Majesty's birth, a singular occurrence took place. 
 A sloop of war, and a number of boats armed with 
 carronades, having detachments of troops in them, 
 were despatched in the morning, to attack a bat- 
 tery situated on a projecting point of the main 
 laud, where it approaches nearest to Belleisle, and 
 
87 
 
 from which ships coming to our present anchorage, 
 were liable to be fired upon. It lay about eight 
 or ten miles from us: but as the wind was light, 
 the sloop of war and the boats did not get near the 
 battery, until it was past twelve o'clock. The 
 battery then opened a fire from two 24 pounders, 
 which played briskly upon them. The day was 
 fine and clear, which permitted us to see the smoke 
 of every gun that was fired, and where the shot 
 struck the water. We looked on with eager anx- 
 iety, and observed all the movements of the sloop 
 of war and the boats. It was near one o'clock 
 before she was in a position to return the fire of 
 the battery, which she did briskly. The armed 
 boats then pulled towards the shore, under cover of 
 her fire. At one o'clock they were close to the 
 battery, and commenced a smart fire upon it from 
 their carronades, and the contest was at the hot- 
 test, just at the instant that the ships we were in, 
 were firing the salute in honour of his Majesty's 
 birth day. The enemy precipitately retired from 
 the battery, and the troops and seamen landed, dis- 
 mounted the guns, broke the carriages, and did 
 what other damege they could, and then returned 
 to the fleet. We all remarked the singularity of 
 the circumstance, that while we were saluting with 
 blank shot, they were saluting with round, double 
 headed, and grape shot, in real earnest, by which 
 several lives were lost, and some were wounded, 
 besides other damages. 
 
 We landed on the island of Houet on the Cth June. 
 It was a small place, almost destitute of cultiva- 
 tion, and onlv a little fishins village on it. Some 
 
more ships arrived from England with troops, and 
 preparations were made for attacking Belieisle. 
 On the 15th June, we were embarked on board 
 the ships of the line, in order to go near the island, 
 and make our debarkation from them, under the 
 cover of their guns. Our regiment was wholly on 
 board of the terrible, 74. We were five days in 
 this ship; and here there were a number of the 
 sailors, who were serious, and united together for 
 prayer and praise; some of them were known to 
 several of our men; the seamen were all very kind, 
 and uncommonly obliging to us; every thing was 
 orderly and quiet; religion appeared to have so far 
 prevailed in this ship, as to give a general tone to 
 the manners and conversation of the seamen; so 
 that they were not like the same kind of men that 
 we met with in other ships of war. Those men, 
 who were not religious, did not make a mock at 
 religion; and those who were serious, were in the 
 habit of having what might be called public prayers 
 between decks, at stated periods. This was inti- 
 mated through the ship, by two or more indivi- 
 duals going round and informing the sailors that 
 there were to be prayers at such a gun, say, No. 9 
 or 10, on the starboard or larboard side. At 
 these public meetings, I understood, that one or 
 other of them addressed their fellow seamen. — 
 In these practices they appeared to be pro- 
 tected by their officers; and they held a meet- 
 ing for prayer and praise, on the forecastle, 
 evening and morning: I had some conversa- 
 tion with some of them who were natives of 
 
89 
 
 Scotland; but I was never actually present at any 
 of the meetings. We were so crowded, that it 
 was with difficulty we could mote from one part 
 of the ship to another; and we durst never be any 
 time absent from the place where our arms were, 
 lest we should lose them, and not find them readily, 
 as we were under orders to be ready at a moment's 
 notice to go into the boats. Our coming to this 
 ship, was one of the steps of divine Providence for 
 my good; for seeing and hearing something of re- 
 ligion in it, awakened once more in my heart, a 
 concern for my soul; and, although it wore off, as 
 before, it was a means of preventing me from be- 
 coming confirmed in a state of careless indiffer- 
 ence. 
 
 On the 18th June, tbe Captain 74, wbile under 
 sail, happened to approach the shore, and went 
 within reach of shot. When she put about, to 
 stand out from the shore, she was fired upon from 
 several points nearly in the same instant, and re- 
 ceived some damage before she got out of reach. 
 The batteries which fired upon her were conceal- 
 ed from view; and we were informed, that the 
 shore was defended by batteries, at all the points 
 where it was convenient to land. We were wait- 
 ing for the arrival of some more troops from Eng- 
 land, which were hourly expected, but did not 
 arrive. — On the 20th, the enterprise was given up. 
 It was said, that during the hazy weather, which 
 had prevented us from seeing to any distance, re- 
 enforcements had been sent into Belleisle. We 
 returned to the isle of Houet, and to our tents, 
 which had been left standing. Our number was 
 8* 
 
<J0 
 
 said to be about 5000. On the next da)', orders 
 arrived for us to embark, which was done; and 
 we sailed on the day following under sealed or- 
 ders, and left the ships of war that belonged to the 
 Channel fleet. 
 
 We had a pleasant and quick passage to the 
 Straits of Gibraltar, where our Commodore inform- 
 ed us, that we were destined for the island of Mi- 
 norca, to join an expedition that was forming under 
 .Sir Ralph Abercrombie, to assist the Austrians in 
 Italy. We passed through the Straits, but did not 
 touch at Gibraltar. We arrived at Minorca on 
 the 21st July. We then learned, that Sir Ralph 
 Abercrombie had already been at Leghorn; but 
 that the Austrians having sustained a severe de- 
 feat from the French, under Buonaparte, had made 
 an agreement, which did not allow of British 
 troops being landed, and that Sir Ralph had 
 brought back what troops he had to Minorca, 
 We landed for refreshment and exercise on the 7th 
 of August, and the whole regiment embarked 
 again, on the 30ih, on board of the Stately, 64.. 
 We sailed on the 31st for Gibraltar, where we 
 arrived on the 14th September. We were there 
 joined by another expedition, under the command 
 of Sir James Pulteney. They had sailed from 
 England in the beginning of July, and had made a 
 descent on the coast of Spain at Ferrol, but had 
 not effected any thing, except alarming the coun- 
 try. There was now a large body of troops on 
 bo^rd this fleet; their number being about 25000 
 There were in all, upwards of 100 sail of large 
 ships; two-thirds of which were war vessels of 
 
lit 
 
 one description or other. We were in want of 
 water, to get which, we went to Tetuan bay, 
 which, is on the Barbary shore, to the south-east 
 of Gibraltar, belonging to Morocco. Here the 
 whole fleet completed their stores of provisions and 
 water. We set sail on the 27th, with an inten- 
 tion to pass the straits of Gibraltar; but the wind 
 changed, and after beating about, we put back to 
 Tetuan on the 29ih. On the 1st October, the 
 wind having become fair, we set sail, passed 
 through the Straits, and anchored next day near 
 to Cadiz in Spain. On the 3d of October we got 
 orders to be in readiness to land. A flag of truce 
 came from the shore to the Admiral on the 4th, 
 and returned back the same day. On the 6th, the 
 day being fine, we weighed anchor and stood across 
 the bay of Cadiz, with the intention of landing 
 near the town of St. Mary's. The dispositions 
 having been made for landing, the ships of war, 
 intended to cover the debarkation, were moving 
 towards the shore, and a cutter had gone so near 
 as to be fired upon. The first division of troops were 
 in the boats, and had rowed off for the shore: we 
 were all in readiness, and were receiving our am- 
 munition; I had just got mine in six parcels, of 
 ten cartridges each, when a flag of truce, which 
 we had seen coming from the harbour, reached 
 the Admiral's ship; and before I had got the half 
 of the cartridges into my pouch, a signal was made 
 by the Admiral, for the boats to return, and put 
 the troops on board their respective ships, the de- 
 sign of landing being relinquished. — We were 
 struck with the suddenness of the change. The 
 
93 
 
 flag of truce returned to the shore; and a report 
 was spread, that the place had been ransomed by 
 money; but whether there was any truth in this, 
 or whether any political concession had been 
 made, can not be; known. There was one thing, 
 however, and possibly it might be the only thing 
 that prevented our landing; the plague was raging 
 in Cadiz at the time. 
 
 I have been somewhat minute in detailing this 
 circumstance; but it has always appeared to me, 
 a very striking occurrence in Providence; for, in 
 a very few minutes, the war vessels would have 
 opened their broadsides upon the troops and bat- 
 teries on shore; the troops in the boats would soon 
 have been under the enemy's fire, and probably 
 have effected a landing; and, if hostilities had 
 once commenced, it is difficult to tell, but the en- 
 terprise might have been pushed, until Cadiz had 
 been taken, and their fleet of war-ships captured 
 or destroyed, unless the Spanish force had been too 
 strong for us. 
 
 This event once more awakened me, by a sense 
 of apparent danger. The prospect of having to 
 contend with what troops might be in the field, 
 and of having to attack fortified places, and the 
 likelihood, that desperate efforts would be made to 
 gain our purpose, before the Spaniards should have 
 time to collect a large force in the field, made me 
 apprehend that the undertaking was one of no or- 
 dinary danger. My conduct on this occasion 
 was similar to what it had been on former occa- 
 sions. I prayed for mercy and preservation. I 
 still had no hope for eternity, but what was to 
 
93 
 
 arise out of future reformation of character, a re- 
 formation which was yet to begin. As formerly, 
 I now again resolved to set about it: — but we left 
 the bay of Cadiz on the 7th, and returned to Te- 
 tuan bay on the 12th, and part of the fleet put into 
 Gibraltar: and the danger I had dreaded being thus 
 past, the resolution it had excited was soon de- 
 parted from. 
 
 But another danger of a different kind was at 
 Land. On the 15th, the north-east wind had risen 
 to a great height, so that our boats, which had 
 gone with empty casks to get water, were obliged 
 to return to the ship and leave their casks on shore; 
 and the storm kept increasing as the evening drew 
 on. At 8 o'clock at night the splice of our cable 
 slipped, and we began to drift. As we had only 
 one other anchor on board, which was not suffi- 
 cient to ride the storm with, we endeavoured to 
 put to sea. It was at a great risk that we effected 
 this. We were in the midst of a large fleet, and 
 were every moment in danger of running foul of 
 one or other of the ships. With difficulty we 
 got the fore-sail, and some of the stay-sails set, and, 
 although the night was very dark, by the goodness 
 of God, we got clear out from the fleet, and steer- 
 ed for Gibraltar. When we came there, as we 
 passed by the stern of the Admiral's ship, we 
 were ordered to pass through the Straits, and an- 
 chor on the west side of Barbary. We accord- 
 ingly put about, and passed through the Straits 
 before the wind, going at the rate of seven miles 
 an hour, under our bare poles. We had a large 
 flat bottomed - boat at our stern, which the stormy 
 
94 
 
 weather did not permit us to hoist on board; and 
 by day-light in the morning, there was nothing of 
 it remaining but the keel with the ring-bolt, by 
 which it was towed. Before day-hreak we had 
 cleared the Straits of Gibraltar. We then set 
 some sail, and stood off and on the Barbary coast, 
 until the 17th, when, the weather moderating, we 
 cast anchor. On the 18th, the weather cleared 
 up, and we perceived a number of the fleet at an- 
 chor to windward of us, nearer the shore, at about 
 20 miles distance. We weighed anchor and beat 
 to windward to join them; but the weather again 
 got squally, and about one o'clock a squall over- 
 took us, which carried away our main-top, and 
 top gallant, and mizen topgallant masts. VVe 
 shortly after came to anchor near the fleet, and 
 the weather becoming moderate, in the course of 
 next day, we got our damages pretty weil repaired, 
 and received an additional anchor from the Ajax 
 man of war. On the 23d we set sail; passed once 
 more through the Straits of Gibraltar; anchored 
 in Tetuan bay for the third time on the 26th; and 
 after having completed our water, and received 
 some more provisions, we sailed on the 8th Nov. 
 for Minorca, to get our provisions and other ship 
 stores completed. 
 
 We now began to hear that we were bound for 
 Egypt. At this we were all very sorry, not know- 
 ing when we might return, or who might have the 
 happiness of seeing their native country again. I 
 had often read and heard of the dangerous nature of 
 the climate of Egypt and of the disasters of the 
 French army there by the plague. The prospect 
 
95 
 
 now before us made a strong impression on my 
 mind. I became more serious; religion began to be 
 more attended to by several, and a party for prayer 
 and conversation was formed; but I was not one of 
 the number, being too proud to associate witb them. 
 
 We made the island of Minorca on the 16th; 
 but the wind being strong and contrary, we did 
 not get into the harbour until the 21st; and having 
 obtained what we wanted, we set sail again on 
 the 27th for Malta, where we arrived on the 6th 
 December. The day we made the island was 
 very fine, and as Malta was a place of note on 
 various accounts, and amongst others, as being the 
 place where the apostle Paul suffered shipwreck, 
 I staid upon deck from the time we came in sight 
 of it, which was in the morning, until we were 
 anchored in the harbour. As we sailed along the 
 island, I anxiously looked for the " place where 
 two seas met" As we passed by the small island 
 of Comena, the creek where the apostle says they 
 thrust in the ship, was easily discerned. It bears 
 now the name of St. Paul's bay, and the channels 
 between Comena, Goza, and Malta, meet at it, 
 which marks it as the place which Paul describes. 
 
 We left Malta on the 21st, and sailed for Mar- 
 morice bay in Asia. In our voyage, we coasted 
 along the whole length of the south side fc of the 
 island of Candia, which is ancient Crete, after 
 which we came to the isle of Rhodes, which is 
 only about 20 miles distant from the coast of Asia. 
 I felt a more than usual interest in looking at 
 those places, from what I had read of them in 
 history, particularly from what is said of them in the 
 
96 
 
 Scriptures. Little did I think, in reading of them 
 when a boy, that I should one day see them, or 
 that I should do the duty of a soldier in the land 
 of Egypt. 
 
 From Rhodes we steered direct for the opposite 
 coast of Asia, and, entering into a passage ot some 
 length, between two high hills, we wondered 
 where we were going, for we did not see any 
 place in this opening fit for ships to lie in, and the 
 Jand on both sides was rocky hills, covered with 
 wood, (except where the rocks were completely 
 bare of soil,) and appeared to be the habitations of 
 wild beasts. .When we arrived very near the head 
 of the inlet, we were surprised to see a ship that 
 was a little ahead of us, get out of our sight almost 
 in an instant; but when we had got a little far- 
 ther, we found a passage which turned to the right, 
 round a very perpendicular hill, as suddenly as if 
 it had been the corner of a street. Into this pas- 
 sage we sailed. It was but short, and in a few 
 minutes we entered into one of the largest and 
 finest bays, it is said, in the world. Here we cast 
 anchor on the 29th December, 1800, and lay until 
 the 23d February, 1801, making arrangements 
 for our attacking the French in Egypt; procuring 
 horses for the use of the artillery and cavalry: and 
 cutting wood for fuel, and for making tascines and 
 pa!lisaSe% in case they should be needed after we 
 landed. The bay is nearly surrounded with high 
 hills, which, except in and about the small town of 
 Marmorice, are covered with wood, in general 
 very thick. There are great numbers of wild 
 beasts in the woods, which make so much noise 
 
97 
 
 in the night time as to be heard over the whole 
 bay. There was a small plain on one side of the 
 bay, where we pitched tents for those that were 
 sick; but there was a necessity to have a guard, 
 to keep on fires in the rear of the tents, during the 
 night; and some nights the noise of the wild beasts 
 indicated their being so near the tents, that the 
 sentinels fired to keep them at a distance. Some 
 seamen belonging to one of the war ships, who 
 were cutting wood at one place, ventured to stay 
 all night on the shore; they were killed by the 
 wild beasts before morning. 
 
 We were not long in this place until a market 
 was erected on shore, and vessels from the adja- 
 cent coast soon found their way to it, with all 
 kinds of fruit, and sheep and goats, and other use- 
 ful articles; so that that part of the shore assumed 
 the appearance of one of our country fairs. The 
 soil around the bay is to all appearance fertile; 
 but cultivation has been on the decline for a long 
 time past, which has allowed the wood to extend, 
 in several places, to the very shores. At some 
 distant period the shores seem to have been better 
 peopled, and the wood to have been farther back. 
 I found the ruins of a house upon the top of a 
 small eminence, pretty far back in the woods. 
 The walls Were partly standing; trees were grow- 
 ing out of the floor; a plot of ground, which had 
 been levelled for a garden, still retained its shape, 
 and had a fine spring of water running through it. 
 Land turtle is in plenty in the woods. 
 
 I shall now return, to state what were the exer- 
 cises of my mind during the passage up the Medi- 
 9 
 
98 
 
 terranean, and while we lay in this bay. — A book 
 upon the first principles of astronomy fell in my 
 way. This gave me a new view of creation: and 
 at the same time a treatise on Philology came into 
 my hands, in which was a descant on the glory of 
 God in the works of nature. I had undergone 
 some very sharp convictions of sin, my mind had 
 been strongly impressed with eternal things, and 
 I had persuaded two of my comrades to join with 
 me in prayer; which we did on several occa- 
 sions, but fell off from it. After reading the above- 
 mentioned books, and several volumes of the 
 Spectator, my mind fell into a strange speculative 
 frame, on the duty of the creature to glorify its 
 Creator, let the Creator do what he will to the 
 creature. I reasoned thus with myself: — That 
 every thing that God did was wise and just, there- 
 fore it was our duty to glorify God for all that he 
 did to us, whether it was in judgment or in mercy: 
 did he deal with us in mercy — gratitude ought to 
 lead us to glorify him: did he deal with us in judg- 
 ment — it was our own sins that provoked him to 
 do it: he did no more than what was just; and we 
 were as really bound to glorify him for his justice, 
 as tor his mercy; and if we did not do so, we aug- 
 mented our guilt. By reasouing in this way, I 
 came at last to a fallacious and very dangerous 
 conclusion, under the guise of wisdom. I con- 
 cluded, that if I could not lessen what guilt was 
 already contracted, neither altogether avoid con- 
 tracting more, it would be wise to contract as 
 little additional guilt as possible; and that, should 
 God deal with me in justice, I must not complain 
 
99 
 
 and murmur; he is holy, just, and wise; he will 
 not punish me above what I deserve; whatever he 
 does with me, his creature, it becomes me to glo- 
 rify his name, by a cheertul acquiescence in his 
 divine procedure; yea, to glorify Him, should I be 
 for ever damned. By doing this, I may possibly 
 make hell more tolerable than otherwise it would 
 be: it' I can not escape his justice, by his not grant- 
 ing me mercy, let me behave in such a manner as 
 may make the consequences of his wrath sit the 
 lighter upon me. — I shudder to think on this part 
 of my experience at this day; on the pain of mind 
 with which it was accompanied, and the fallacious 
 and dangerous opiate which the conclusion con- 
 tained to lull my conscience asleep; for I did in 
 consequence fall into a careless and listless state 
 of mind. But, by the goodness of God, 1 was not 
 allowed to remain long under it It happened one 
 day shortly after, that, from eating salt provisions, 
 and from the extreme scantimss of water, I became 
 exceedingly thirsty, and with great difficulty pro- 
 cured a little to drink. A thought then shot across 
 my mind: — if I am so impatient under a tempo- 
 rary thirst, and so eager to procure relief, how 
 shall I preserve my patience in hell?— if I am so 
 unhappv under the pressure of so trivial a circum- 
 stance, how much more unhappy shall I be, if I 
 be cast into everlasting burnings, where I shall 
 not have one drop of water to cool my tongue! 
 This broke the delusion, but it did not eradicate it. 
 An infectious fever broke out among us. Il was 
 at first slow in its progress, but after a short time 
 it began to infect numbers. Our condition on 
 
100 
 
 board the Stately contributed towards it; for we 
 had no hammocks, nor beds, but only our camp 
 blankets to sleep in; we lay upon the under deck, 
 and, when the weather was stormy, so much wa- 
 ter leaked in by the edges of the ports, as made 
 the lee side of the ship very wet. When she 
 tacked, the water that was lying in the lee side 
 would then run across the whole deck; and al- 
 though we dried it the best way we could, yet we 
 were so crowded that we were often under the 
 necessity of lying down upon the damp deck. 
 This was hurtful to us, causing us to feel stiff, and 
 our bones sore; and although it did not produce 
 the fever, (for it was introduced by some recruits 
 who came on board at Malta,) it was, in my 
 opinion, one cause of its spreading so rapidly at 
 last. 
 
 I caught this fever at the time it began to 
 spread, and it was pretty severe upon me. I got 
 better, and relapsed, and the second turn of it was 
 worse than the first.* While under it I had time 
 to consider myself more fully. My present con- 
 dition was so painful, that I would have clone all 
 in my power, and given all I could possess, to be 
 free from it; and yet with my most sanguine 
 hopes, I could not expect hell to be one half so 
 tolerable. What, thought I, is the glory of God 
 to me as a creature? If that same glory only 
 renders me miserable, will the misery of my con- 
 dition* if I am sent to hell, be in any measure 
 
 * There were few of the regiment that escaped it; all 
 relapsed after the first recovery, and those who were 
 longest of catching the infection were worst.- 
 
101 
 
 alleviated, by the consideration, that the justice of 
 God is glorified by my condemnation? It is true, 
 I shall not cease to exist; but what pleasure can I 
 have in my existence, unless I reap some benefit 
 by it, by having some portion of happiness in it? 
 If I am made completely miserable, and have no 
 prospect of any portion of happiness for the future, 
 my existence must prove my greatest misery. He 
 who knows all things has said, " Good were it for 
 that man, if he had never been born." If the 
 justice of God dooms me to suffer for my sins, 
 woe is me! I now exist, and I can not annihilate 
 myself; nor can I fly from God's justice. I am a 
 sinner, and if I receive not mercy, I must be for 
 ever miserable' How awful is his justice! How 
 great is his power! How daring and delusive the 
 thought of hoping to find any portion of happiness 
 in that place, where he has declared all is perfect 
 misery; where nothing dwells but the terrors of 
 the Almighty; where the subjects of his justice are 
 a terror to themselves, and to each other; where 
 there is nothing but weeping, and wailing, and 
 gnashing of teeth! 
 
 As I began to recover, I turned my thoughts 
 more closely than before, to those places of Scrip- 
 ture which describe hell, the place of torment. I 
 examined what the Scripture has said of its awful 
 nature; that it is " a fearful thing to fall into the 
 hands of the living God;" — for " who knoweth 
 the power of his anger?" and " our God is a con- 
 suming fire." I found, also, that the Scripture 
 evidence of its being endless in its duration, was 
 
 as conclusive as that of the endless duration of the 
 9# 
 
103 
 
 happiness of heaven. He who said that the one 
 was eternal, said the same of the other. But, when 
 contemplating this awful subject, I was at times 
 tempted to think, " It may be, that although God 
 has said so, he may not intend to execute his 
 dreadful threatening to the full extent: there maj 
 be a future period, in which he will extend mercy to 
 his creatures, but which he has kept hid from them, 
 for wise purposes, that they might not presume 
 on his mercy, and spend their present lives in sin, 
 and not repent in this world, because there would 
 be an opportunity to repent in the next." — But this 
 reasoning did not long deceive me; for I continued 
 to ponder the subject, and I saw that such a notion 
 did not consist with the veracity of God. He could 
 not say one thing, while he intended another; if I 
 admitted that he said one thing and intended 
 another, with respect to the duration of punish- 
 ment iu hell, it would, with equal consistency, 
 apply to what he said of the endless happiness of 
 heaven, and so render uncertain any hope that 
 might be built upon the promise of it; and if the 
 principle were in one case admitted, it would 
 throw loose all his promises and threatenings, re- 
 specting both this world and the next; for we should 
 still have room to think, God has said so, but he does 
 not mean so. — I also reflected, if God has said., 
 that the punishment of hell shall be eternal, and 
 has a secret purpose of mercy at some distant 
 period, if this is a secret of his own, how can any 
 one know it? If he has not told it, how is it possi- 
 ble for any one to find out that which God intends 
 should be secret? Reflection upon this idea, put 
 
103 
 
 an en J to the speculation, as being a gross ab- 
 surdity. I also reflected on the nature of sin; — I 
 said to myself, " Supposing I were cast into hell 
 for the sins of my present life, would I cease to 
 commit sin when there? and if I did what was in 
 itself sinful in hell, would the torments of the 
 place excuse it? would the justice of God take no 
 cognisance of what I did there?" This was a 
 piercing exercise to my mind: but it was salutary; 
 and I believe I was indebted to what I had read 
 in Boston's Fourfold State for it, although I was 
 not aware of it at the time. I answered the above 
 queries in this way: If, when I am in a state of 
 partial sufferings here, I am not able to suffer with- 
 out being at least impatient and fretful, if I do not 
 actually complain and murmur — how can I expect 
 to behave any better in hell? My present suffer- 
 ings do not excuse the sins I commit under them; 
 I shall then, as well as now, be a subject of the 
 justice of God; and when I shall be suffering for 
 past sins, that will be no excuse for the commis- 
 sion of new ones; if I am to make the debt of sin 
 less by suffering for it, I must not contract more 
 debt at the time I am paying the old; for if I do, I 
 shall continue to be a debtor; and as long as I 
 continue to commit sin, I must continue to suffer 
 for it, for the claims of Divine justice are indis- 
 pensable. Following out these reflections put a 
 complete end to all speculation, of the probability, 
 or possibility, of ever finding any portion of hap- 
 piness, if I did not obtain the pardon of my sins, 
 and deliverance from sin itself, before I left this 
 world, and appeared in the presence of God. — 
 
104 
 
 These speculations show that my mind was ready 
 to catch at any thing, that appeared to finish the 
 least hope, however delusive it might be; for when 
 I looked forward to eternity, not having the con- 
 fidence that arises from faith in the Lord Jesus, as 
 an all-sufficient Saviour, and not discerning the 
 doctrine of his complete atonement and justifying 
 righteousness, I was glad to lay hold of any thing 
 that appeared to afford the smallest glimpse of 
 hope, rather than be without hope altogether. 
 
 Having, by the goodness of God, recovered from 
 the fever, the effect of it was to make me resolve 
 once more to devote myself to his service. Grati- 
 tude for his mercy in my recovery induced me to 
 do this; and I hoped for better success in my en- 
 deavours than heretofore: but alas! it was not long 
 before my conscience found matter of accusation 
 against me; and this threw me as far back as ever. 
 I searched for a reason why I failed in my attempts 
 to serve God; but I did not find the true one. I 
 began to lay the blame on the example and con- 
 versation of my comrades; and would fain have 
 palliated the evil of my conduct on this ground, 
 and flattered myself that God would therefore be 
 the less strict with me. But then I reflected, that 
 it would be a pernicious and fatal delusion for me, 
 to flatter myself with any thing that would not 
 stand the test of his judgment seat. I found no 
 toleration for sin, in any situation, in the word of 
 God; and my conscience charged me, not only with 
 wilful sins, for which I could devise no excuse, 
 but also with loving sin itself, which God hateth. 
 let, as experience had taught me that one thing 
 
105 
 
 led to another, I determined to keep myself as 
 much as possible out of the company of the pro- 
 fligate, and profane, and loose talkers, and to keep 
 my mind as constantly fixed as possible on serious 
 subjects. I set heaven with all its charms before 
 my mind, as the object to be gained, and hell with 
 all its terrors, as the object to be escaped. I con- 
 trasted time with eternity, and said to myself, 
 Surely eternity is of such vast importance, as to 
 be worth all the sufferings that can be endured, 
 and all the exertions that can be made, in the nar- 
 row bounds of human life. 1 again set out in a 
 new course of obedience, resolved to watch all the 
 avenues to temptation; and, under the influence of 
 this resolution, I avoided, as much as I could, in 
 my present situation, those whose conversation I 
 wished to shun; but it was impossible to be always 
 out of the hearing of it; — all I could do, was not 
 to mingle in converse with them; and I have fre- 
 quently stopped my ears with my fingers, that I 
 might not hear licentious and profane talk, when 
 I knew it was going on: but I could not do this 
 on every occasion, and when I did get it done, it 
 gave me a proof of the deceitfulness of my own 
 heart; for evil thoughts and sinful desires would 
 spring up in it even at the time when I was stop- 
 ping my ears, that I might not hear the wicked 
 conversation of others. To this, however, I was 
 not sufficiently attentive, but laid the blame, in 
 some shape or other, on the temptations with which 
 I was surrounded, as being, either directly or in- 
 directly, the cause why I was not able to keep my 
 own heart. This led me to despair of my ever 
 
106 
 
 being able to serve God aright, and obtain his 
 favour by keeping his commandments while I re- 
 mained in the army. I therefore began to wish I 
 were free of it, and placed in a situation where 
 I should have it in my power to enjoy solitude, 
 and keep out of the way of temptation. I thought 
 that of a hermit a very favourable one; not that I 
 wished to be a hermit altogether, but I fancied if 
 I were only in a situation in which I could keep 
 myself, in a great measure, secluded from the 
 world, and give myself to reading, meditation, and 
 devotion, I should then serve God in a perfect 
 manner Here again I began to reflect — What if 
 God cuts me off for my sins while I am in the 
 army? What shall become of me? Have I any 
 hope if I should die, or be slain, while in the 
 army? To this perplexing question I could give 
 no answer; all 1 could do, was to pray to God to 
 spare my life, to deliver me from the army, and to 
 bring me into a situation in which I should have 
 it in my power to serve him. But my mind soon 
 misgave me, and led me to suspect that this was 
 not right; and on examining it, I became con- 
 vinced that I was equally bound to serve God in 
 my present situation as in any other. Our Lord's 
 answer to Paul's prayer, u My grace is sufficient 
 for thee," and many other promises of God to his 
 people came into my mind; and, although I did not 
 understand them aright, yet they convinced me 
 that my situation would not be an excuse for my 
 sins; they convinced me, that if I was one of 
 God's children, his grace would be sufficient to 
 enable me to serve him acceptably, whatever situa- 
 
107 
 
 tion his providence might allot me. But knowing, 
 at the same time, that bad company had a great 
 effect in confirming evil habits, I still thought, that 
 were I but free of the army, I should have a great 
 deal less to struggle with. Before I was free of the 
 iirmy, however, experience convinced me that 
 solitude was no antidote to a deceitful heart; for 
 in the solitary hours of night, while watching and 
 on guard, and during the sleepless nights passed in 
 the hospital, I found abundance of sinful thoughts 
 and desires arise in my heart. 
 
 I next went to the opposite extreme, and ima- 
 gined a state of unremitting activity was the best. 
 I thought that were I discharged and athome, I 
 should then enjoy the means of grace on the Sab- 
 bath; that my work would occupy my mind the 
 greater part of my time through the week; and 
 that I should then have it in my power so to regu- 
 late my conduct, as to take up my whole attention 
 between lawful and serious things, and thus leave 
 no vacant room in my mind for evil thoughts, or 
 what might lead me to the commission of sin. 
 
 Under these exercises of mind I continued until 
 the time when we left Marmorice Bay, which was 
 on the 23d February, 1801, when the fleet weigh- 
 ed anchor, and were all safely collected upon the 
 coast, outside of the bay, before sun-set, and then 
 steered their course for Egypt. A Turkish Ad- 
 miral, with two or three frigates, had joined the 
 fleet. A number of Greek vessels also were with 
 us, which had been hired to transport the horses 
 that had been procured at Marmorice, for the use 
 of the artillery, cavalry, and field officers. The 
 
108 
 
 wind was brisk, but the evening was fine, and as 
 our fleet consisted of near two hundred sail, many 
 of which were large and elegant ships, it had a 
 grand and interesting appearance. This interest 
 was heightened by the consideration of the sea, 
 and the coast, that we were sailing on, for the 
 celebrated island of Rhodes was on our right, and 
 the coast of Asia Minor on our left. The various 
 nations on board of this fleet, as seamen and sol- 
 diers, was novel and striking, for there were 
 Turks, Greeks, and English, with Corsicans, and 
 a brigade of soldiers in our service, composed of 
 men from various parts of Germany, but the part 
 that the soldier was destined to act in the enter- 
 prise before us, was to him the most interesting 
 contemplation, for his personal safety was the most 
 deeply involved in the undertaking. The wind 
 continued to freshen, and " the fleet had not stood 
 long on its course before one of the Greek vessels, 
 laden with mules, foundered, and one man alone 
 was saved." The Turkish frigates and Greek 
 vessels left us, and took shelter in the nearest ports. 
 The weather was not what we considered bad, 
 but they were not good navigators: their depar- 
 ture, however, was a serious loss to the army, for 
 the want of the horses on board of them. The 
 weather became moderate, and on the 28th we 
 fell in with our squadron that was blockading 
 Alexandria, and on the 1st March discovered land 
 somewhat to the westward of that place. The 
 wind had been light through the day, but fresh- 
 ened during the night, and there were heavy 
 showers of rain. This made the soldiers remark, 
 
109 
 
 That if there was no rain in Egypt, there was rain 
 very near it- some who were of a deistical turn 
 began to insinuate that the Bible had not given a 
 correct account of Egypt; and the apparent con- 
 tradiction made some of us rather at a loss to re- 
 concile it. During the course of conversation on 
 this subject, I heard one observe, that the Bible 
 did not say directly that there never was any rain 
 in Egypt, but that when it spoke of there being no 
 rain there^ it referred to the agriculture of Egypt, 
 not depending, like that of other countries, upon 
 rain, but upon the annual inundations of the Nile.* 
 This is the fact; but it is also true, that although 
 during the winter season there are thunder storms 
 and rain on the sea-coast, yet these seldom go far 
 into the country, and at Grand Cairo rain is a 
 great rarity. After the regiment had been at that 
 city and returned, and after we left Egypt, having 
 staid in it six months, I never heard any one urge 
 the objection any more. All agreed that the 
 scripture account of Egypt was as true as general 
 expressions could describe it; so that this, like 
 many other infidel objections, was founded on an 
 apparent, not a real contradiction. The universal 
 remark upon the country was, that they believed 
 a remnant of the plagues of Moses still existed 
 in it. 
 
 * 2iech. xiv. 18. Deut xi. 10. and connexion, 
 
 10 
 
110 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 On the forenoon of the 2d March, we cast an- 
 chor in Ahoukir Bay, the place where the battle 
 of the Nile was fought. Here we lay until the 
 8th, before the weather would permit us to land; 
 a period of great anxiety, for every hour was giving 
 the enemy time to collect his forces, and prepare 
 the means of defence. This made the prospect 
 increasingly awful. Our regiment was intended 
 to have been one of those which should land first; 
 but the fever having increased so much, that about 
 one half of our number were at this time sick, we 
 were unfit to perform a regiment's part, and 
 another of equal strength was put in our place. 
 The bay was shallow, and the ships which con- 
 tained the troops being in general of a large size, 
 had to anchor at a considerable distance from the 
 shore. On the 7th, a number of smaller vessels 
 which had been loaded with provisions, but whose 
 cargoes were now nearly expended, were moved 
 to about three miles from the shore; and several 
 regiments were put on board of them, that support 
 might be quickly given to those who landed first. 
 All of our regiment fit for duty were ordered into 
 one of these vessels in the evening. The weather 
 was now favourable, and every thing indicated 
 th;*t the landing would be attempted next morning. 
 1 slept little or none during the night; but fre- 
 quently employed myself in short prayers to God 
 to be merciful to me, and to spare me and protect 
 me from danger. — I was surprised this night 
 
lti 
 
 with a want of my ordinary sight, and heard num- 
 bers of my comrades say that they did not see so 
 well as usual, and yet they had no pain in their 
 eyes. 
 
 About two o'clock in the morning the signal 
 was made for the first division of the troops to get 
 into the boats, and at three o'clock they were 
 ordered to row for their rendezvous in the rear of 
 one of the light war-vessels that was anchored 
 about a gun-shot from the shore. This was a 
 very fatiguing service to the seamen; because the 
 fleet was so widely anchored, and many of the 
 large ships so far from the shore, that it was nine 
 o'clock before they were all collected and arrang- 
 ed. The enemy could see all our movements; and 
 the unavoidable delays that took place, gave them 
 a fair opportunity to provide for their defence, for 
 they now knew the only point at which we could 
 land. I contemplated the scene with an anxious 
 aching heart. The number of troops in the boats 
 was about 5500, and the whole army about 15,000, 
 of which there were about 1000 sick at the time 
 of landing, and of these about 400 belonged to our 
 own regiment. — There were two bomb ketches 
 and three sloops of war, anchored with their 
 broadsides to the shore: on the right flank of the 
 boats there were a cutter, two Turkish gun-boats, 
 and two armed launches; and on the left flank, a 
 cutter, a schooner, one gun-boat, and two launches. 
 These light vessels were to go as near the shore as 
 the water would admit, to annoy the enemy and 
 protect the boats. 
 
 At nine o'clock the signal was made for the 
 
112 
 
 boats to advance; and the whole line advanced at 
 t!ie same instant, giving three loud cheers. u The 
 French, to the number of two thousand, were 
 posted on the top of sand-hills, forming the con- 
 cave arc of a circle on the front of about a mile, 
 in the centre of which elevated itself, a nearly 
 perpendicular height of sixty yards, apparently in- 
 accessible."* The left of this rising ground was 
 a continuation of sand-hills close to the shore, 
 gradually diminishing in their height until they 
 ended in a long flat tongue forming the entrance 
 of Lake Maadie. The ground to the right of the 
 centre height on the shore was flat, but there were 
 clusters of thick bushes, (such as form the date or 
 palm tree), which were favourable for concealing 
 the enemy; and on the extremity of the right stood 
 the castle of Aboukir, in which were several 10 
 inch mortars, and a large Martello tower, having 
 two brass 32 pounders on its top, and which, from 
 its position and height, commanded nearly the 
 whole shore. As soon as the boats set off for the 
 beach, the two bomb ketches, and the three sloops 
 of war, began to throw their shot and shells upon the 
 
 * I quote these words from Sir R. Wilson's history, which 
 contains a degree of knowledge that I could not pretend 
 to. The statements which 1 give of the strength of the 
 enemy, the number of cannon they had on the field or. 
 the different days, and what we took from them, I also 
 state upon his authority. The account of the losses of the 
 army I take from the statements in the gazettes, which I 
 believe to be pretty correct, for 1 have found that they 
 gave a true account of the loss of my own regiment, and I 
 have heard soldiers of other regiments say the same of the 
 gazette accounts of the loss of theirs. 
 
113 
 
 shore; and the light vessels, stationed to protect 
 the flanks of the boats, moved along with them 
 and began to fire. The bulk of the enemy's field 
 artillery was in the flat ground, to the right of the 
 height before mentioned, the rest was among the 
 smaller sand-hills on the left of it. As soon as the 
 boats were within the reach of their shot, they 
 opened their fire on them; and it appeared to be 
 their design, to make tnejr shot cross the boats in 
 the centre. The heavy guns on the top of the 
 tower in Aboukir castle, and the mortars, com- 
 menced, at the same time, their fire on the right 
 flank of the boats. The scene now became dread- 
 ful; the war vessels pouring whole broadsides; 
 the bomb ketches throwing shells, which, ex- 
 ploding in the air, formed numerous little clouds; 
 and the gun-boats and cutters on the flanks of the 
 boats, exerting themselves to the utmost. As none 
 of these, however, could approach the shore, so 
 near as to be within the reach of grape-shot, or 
 even to have a certain aim, their exertions were of 
 little benefit to the boats; which pursued their pro- 
 gress to wants the shore, whilst the enemy's artil- 
 lery, (12 pieces, exclusive of the large guns in 
 Aboukir castle), continued to play upon them with 
 unremitting activity. All eyes were directed to- 
 wards the boats; every flash of the enemy's artil- 
 lery was noticed; and every eye on the stretch, to 
 discern where the shot might strike the water, to 
 observe if it lighted among the boats, and if any 
 of them were damaged or sunk; and we too often 
 had occasion to picture to our minds, when we 
 saw the shot strike in the middle of them, and 
 ]0 V 
 
114 
 
 produce disorder, how many it might have killed, 
 or wounded, or drowned; tor 013 own part, although 
 I felt thankful that I was not myself in the boats, 
 yet my feelings for those that were, were nearly, if 
 not altogether, as painful, as if I had been in them; 
 and I believe that this was the case with the most 
 of the spectators. But while we were thus feeling 
 for them, we became increasingly astonished to 
 behold how the boats pressed forwards towards the 
 shore, although the wind, of which there was a 
 smart breeze, was against them; hew well they 
 preserved their order under the terrible fire of the 
 enemy's artillery; and how quickly any disorder 
 produced by the shot that fell amongst them was 
 remedied. The painful feelings of anxious ap- 
 prehension and suspense experienced by those in 
 the bouts, must have been greatly heightened by 
 the circumstance, that most of the shells and shot 
 fired by our war vessels were necessarily fired over 
 their heads, they being between the vessels and 
 the enemy: so that an ill- directed shot from their 
 own ships, was as dangerous- to them as one from 
 the shore; and when buzzing through the air over 
 them, must have been apprehended as one from 
 the enemy, about to strike destruction amongst 
 them 
 
 As the boats approached the shore, the enemy 
 moved their artillery that was on their right, and 
 drew it nearer to their centre It appeared to be 
 a part oJ their object, to keep the extreme right of 
 the boats betwixt their artillery and the war ves- 
 sels, and thus prevent the war vessels from having 
 a clear opening to direct their fire: and indeed all 
 
115 
 
 our fire, from all descriptions of vessels, did not 
 seem to interrupt for a moment that of the enemy, 
 or to silence a single gun all the time the troops 
 were rowing to the beach. When they approach- 
 ed near to it, the enemy having drawn their artil- 
 lery from the right, planted it on the top of the 
 centre height, which now appeared to look directly 
 down upon the boats: and now came the most 
 trying moment. From this elevated position they 
 poured down such a continued fire of shot, shell, 
 and grape, as made us, who were looking on, ap- 
 prehend that few would reach the shore. Some 
 disorder too appearing among the boats increased 
 our fears; but at this instant we heard them begin 
 to cheer, and saw them press forward with re- 
 doubled vigour. We soon observed the right 
 flank of the boats reach the shore under the cen- 
 tre height,* and the men form immediately on the 
 beach; while the enemy from the top of the height 
 poured down grape shot, as well as the fire of mus- 
 ketry from a line of infantry which was ranged 
 alonsr it. In a few seconds the 40th flank com- 
 panies, and the 23d regiment, were in line; and, 
 without firing a shot, ascended the height in the 
 face of the enemy. This movement was clearly 
 seen by the whole fleet, and attracted all eyes. — 
 The spectators began to tremble, lest the enemy 
 should drive them down again; but we were aston- 
 ished to see with what rapidity and order they 
 mounted the steep face of the height. They were 
 
 * The boats hat! gradually verged to the left during their 
 progress, so that this height, which before appeared to be 
 opposite their centre, was now opposite their right. 
 
US 
 
 soon close to the enemy, and charged them witb 
 loud cheers, when the enemy fled, and in an in- 
 stant both parties were out of sight. The 426 re- 
 giment, which had landed and formed, was now 
 seen ascending the left of the height, and charging 
 the enemy opposed to them, who also fled and dis- 
 appeared. We now turned our attention more to. 
 the left, where part of the troops were forming on 
 the beach; but the left of the boats had not yet 
 reached the shore. The enemy, who had been 
 posted among the smaller sand-hills, as soon as the 
 boats came near the shore, rushed down into the 
 water, fired into them, and endeavoured to pre- 
 vent their landing. A party of cavalry also charg- 
 ed those who were in the act of landing, which 
 produced a temporary confusion; but they were 
 soon wholly repulsed. All the troops were landed, 
 and the beach, and the heights that lined it, clear- 
 ed of the enemy, I believe, in less than a quarter 
 of an hour, and nothing to be seen by the specta- 
 tors, but the empty boats, hoisting their sails, and 
 proceeding with all possible speed to receive the 
 second division. Some of them soon reached the 
 ship 1 was in, and with ail haste we got into them 
 and rowed for tne shore. On the way I saw some 
 boats swamped, which had been struck with large 
 shot; but the men who were in them had been 
 picked up by the small boats, which followed those 
 that had troops in them, for this express purpose. 
 The number of boats, that were seriously damaged, 
 was small, compared with what might have been 
 expected; but they were in general less or more 
 perforated with grape shot and musketry. The 
 
117 
 
 boat in which I was had an oar broken, and was 
 otherwise damaged; but none of the men were 
 killed or seriously wounded in her. 
 
 We soon reached the shore, at a place where it 
 was deeper than common: and with a leap I land- 
 ed dry shod. The first thing I saw, as I passed 
 along the beach, was some Frenchmen lying dead 
 within the ed^e of the water. The beach was 
 strewed with dead and wounded men, with horses, 
 and artillery taken from the enemy: but the action 
 was over. We formed in a hollow on the left of 
 the centre height, where the 42d had repulsed a 
 charge of cavalry; some of the 42d, and also of 
 the cavalry, with their horses, were stretched dead 
 upon the sand: — we were soon ready, and advanc- 
 ed through the first range of sand-hills, and found 
 the first division formed with their artillery, which 
 had lauded along with tbem, and was drawn by 
 seamen. This circumstance had materially con- 
 tributed to the success of the landing; lor the 
 enemy were astonished to find that our artillery 
 was landed as soon as the troops, and began to fire 
 upon them as soon as the musketry of the infantry, 
 Eight pieces ot cannon were taken from the ene- 
 my; but the army lost in this affair, one hundred 
 and two killed, five hundred and fifteen wounded, 
 and thirty-five missing; the loss of the navy was 
 twenty-two killed, seventy-two wounded, and 
 three missing, making a total of seven hundred 
 and forty-nine, the greater part of which were kill- 
 ed or wounded in the boats, previous to landing. 
 During the course of the da;y the troops were all 
 landed; we did not however advance far that day* 
 
118 
 
 hut took up a position at no great distance from the 
 shore. Our first concern was to learn whether 
 water could he got in this sandy desert; and we 
 were glad to find that it could he obtained in the 
 hollows, by digging a little way in the sand. When 
 night came on we stationed our guards, and lay 
 upon the sand, covering ourselves with our blan- 
 kets. This night I was surprised to find that I 
 could see nothing, and I continued to be in this 
 state every night, until the night of the 20th: in 
 the day time I saw as well as ever I did, and had 
 no pain in my eyes. 
 
 On the morning of the 9th our regiment, along 
 with a party of Corsican riflemen, advanced along 
 the peninsula about three miles from where we 
 landed, to a place where it was contracted into 
 less than half a mile in breadth. Here was a re- 
 doubt and a flag-staff, for communicating signals 
 betwixt Aboukir castle and Alexandria: but the 
 enemy had left it, and thrown a large gun, intend- 
 ed to be mounted on it, into the ditch. In the 
 course of the day, the 42d regiment and others, 
 came and occupied this position, and we returned 
 to our former one, where we remained until the 
 morning of the 12th, waiting for the landing of 
 some horses, ammunition, and provisions, from the 
 fleet. We made booths of the branches of the 
 date (or palm tree), to shelter ourselves from the 
 clew, which fell very copiously, and we had some- 
 times heavy showers of rain and hail, which made 
 it pretty cold. The thermometer was frequently 
 below 50. 
 
 On the morning of the 12th, having filled our 
 
119 
 
 canteens with water, and furnished ourselves with 
 three days provisions, the whole army advanced. 
 Having proceeded a little beyond the narrow neck 
 of the peninsula, the enemy's cavalry began to 
 skirmish; our march was slow and often inter- 
 rupted; the surface of the ground being very un- 
 even, the sand very deep, and the day very warm, 
 parties were frequently sent to assist the seamen 
 with the guns, and even those guns which had 
 horses to draw them, were unable to get forward, 
 for the horses had never been used to the draught, 
 and were often unmanageable. — Before evening 
 we came within sight of the enemy's army posted 
 on a height. Their strength was about 6000 men, 
 of which 600 were cavalry, with 20 to SO pieces 
 of cannon. As it was too late to engage them that 
 night, we halted, and began to dig for water; for 
 we had made use of all that we had, and were 
 now very thirsty. The place where we began to 
 dig, was a deep soil of black earth, and below it 
 a clayish mixture. About lour or five feet from the 
 surface, water began to appear in small quantities; 
 each company dug a well; but before the one to 
 which I belonged had found water, the regiment 
 was ordered upon picquet. There was no help 
 for it. We were posted along the front of the ar- 
 my, only those who were blind were not put on 
 sentry, but left in groupes, a little in the rear. 
 There were nearly twenty of a company in this 
 condition. We felt very unhappy; for we had to 
 remain in the spot where we were, until, when it 
 was necessary to shift our position, some one who 
 had sight came to conduct us to another place: we 
 
120 
 
 then took hold of one another, and were led in a 
 string; and, had a party of the enemy made a dash 
 at the place where we were, we were unable either 
 to have resisted or fled. 
 
 On the morning of the 13th we were ordered to 
 advance in front of the army, to form, along with 
 the 90th regiment, the advanced guard. We had 
 no time to procure water, but got a little rum, and 
 began our march, leaving our knapsacks with a 
 guard. We had not advanced far, before our 
 light company, which was in front, came upon the 
 enemy's picquets, and a skirmishing began, which 
 increased as we advanced. The light company 
 was reinforced several times, the enemy's picquets 
 getting stronger as they retreated, being joined by 
 those who were in their rear. The ground through 
 which we marched was interspersed with thick 
 bushes; but we approached a rising ground, on 
 which the main body of the enemy's army was 
 drawn up in order of battle. The ascent to this 
 height was entirely bare, and also the ground to 
 the left of it, which projected to Lake Maadie. — 
 Our regiment kept to the side of the lake; the 
 90th was on our right; and the army followed us 
 in two lines. Our parties in front pressed eagerly 
 upon the enemy's picquets, which caused the re- 
 giment to march pretty quickly, in order to be 
 near them for their support; and this led us to 
 get a considerable way in advance of the army, 
 which could not follow with the same speed. — 
 There was one nine pounder field-piece, and one 
 four and a half inch howitzer, along with us; but 
 very little ammunition with them. Armed launches 
 
131 
 
 too had kept pace with the left of the army upon 
 the lake; but it was now so shallow that they 
 could not follow us farther. — As soon as the 90th 
 regiment had cleared the broken ground, and be- 
 gan to ascend the height on which the enemy's 
 army was posted, a heavy column of cavalry was 
 observed coining forward to charge them. The 
 front section of the 90th halted, and the regiment 
 formed line with all expedition. The front sec- 
 tion of the enemy's cavalry wheeled, as soon as it 
 came opposite the right of the 90th, and began to 
 form line. The two parties formed opposite and 
 very near each other, but the cavalry line was 
 formed first. The rear sections of the 90th had 
 not time to reach the extent of the line, and closed 
 upon the rear of the left, making it six or eight 
 deep, but they had a clear view of the horsemen 
 who were on higher ground. The cavalry ad- 
 vanced upon them with their swords raised; the 
 90th stood firm, until the cavalry were so near the 
 right of their line, that they were going to strike 
 at them with their swords; they then began to fire, 
 and it ran from right to left like a rattling peal of 
 thunder. It was one of the most terrible discbarges 
 of musketry I ever saw; and, from the nearness 
 of the enemy, it was dreadfully destructive. The 
 cavalry instantly retreated, and many horses ran 
 away with empty saddles. During the time of 
 this transaction, which was over in a few seconds, 
 our regiment made a momentary pause. On the 
 retreat of the cavalry we again advanced. The 
 enemy then began to open their artillery upon us 
 jrom the heights. We still pressed en; but as 
 11 
 
IBS 
 
 they saw all our movements, and perceived that 
 we were considerably advanced before the army, 
 they formed the resolution to attack us with all 
 their force; and accordingly marched to their right 
 down the height, and, when on the plain, formed 
 line, and came forward. When we perceived 
 their movement, we halted, formed five companies 
 in line; posted the other five in the rear of scat- 
 tered bushes on the left towards the lake, and 
 awaited their approach. We cannonaded them 
 with our two pieces, but our ammunition being 
 soon expended, the guns were drawn into the rear. 
 During tire time that we were advancing, I had 
 frequently and earnestly prayed to God, to spare 
 and protect me. Our present situation was one of 
 imminent danger; part of the enemy's artillery 
 were playing upon us from the rising ground to- 
 wards the right; and in front, the enemy, with 
 the rest of his artillery, was advancing in great 
 force, in a line formed like the blade of a scythe, 
 the curved point to our left on the shore of the lake, 
 and that part of it appeared to be composed of ca- 
 valry.* It seemed to be the enemy's intention to 
 come round our left, and get into our rear with 
 that part of their line, while the rest of it attacked 
 us in front, and out-flanked us on the right, by 
 which they would have completely surrounded 
 us, and either destroyed or carried us prisoners, 
 before the main body of the army could arrive to 
 assist us. This was their only object. They 
 were too weak to attack the army on level ground 
 
 * It was afterwards said that it was the dromedary corps. 
 
123 
 
 with any hope of success; but they were more than 
 competent to take or destroy our party, which did 
 not amount to 500 men. I was near the left of 
 the line, and beheld the advance of the enemy with 
 an anxious mind; but as we were standing in a 
 fixed position, I had some leisure for reflection; 
 and as death was once more staring me in the face, 
 I began to inquire " what hope have I for eterni- 
 ty, if I am cut off at this time?" I confessed my 
 sins in the words of the 51st Psalm; and besought 
 God to pardon them, and give me a new heart; I 
 then thought, " If we are mostly cut down at this 
 time, and have to appear before God, will he make 
 no difference between me and those around me, 
 many of whom, in place of catling upon him, pro- 
 fane his name?" I then endeavoured to lay hold 
 on the mercies promised to the penitent and con- 
 trite in heart. I thought I was sorry for my sins, 
 and confessed them without guile, and on this ac- 
 count I endeavoured to hope for mercy, thus rest- 
 ing partly on the difference that I conceived to be 
 between my own character and that of others, and 
 partly on my contrition and repentance before 
 God. But my mind was still dissatisfied; I stilt 
 feared the worst; I knew not the merits of a 
 Saviour's righteousness; my hope was not built 
 upon him but on myself, and could not be satisfac- 
 tory. I therefore cried to God to spare me once 
 more, and promised that my future life should be 
 devoted to his service. The Lord was pleased to 
 hear my cry, and to protect me during the awful 
 scene that was just about to commence. The 
 enemy's line had advanced within about 300 
 
1S4 
 
 yards, and brought two-field pieces in front of the 
 company 1 was in, and fired them at us. One of 
 the balls came skimming along the surface of the 
 ground. I caught a view of it at some distance, 
 and thought it was coming directly to me. It 
 grazed a small hillock of rubbish a few yards in 
 our front, and laid down the second file on my 
 right. It struck the left leg of the front rank man 
 in the centre, passing through it, and leaving a 
 part of the skin on each side. It grazed the calf 
 of the rear rank man's left leg, tearing it, and car- 
 rying part of it away. The small stones which it 
 drove from the rubbish-hillock hurt our faces, 
 and a quantity of them entered into the lacerated 
 limbs of the wounded like hail. The one whose 
 h^ was broken died some time after he had under- 
 gone amputation; the other also died some months 
 after in Rosetta. I thought that the hillock of 
 rubbish had perhaps altered the direction of the 
 ball, else it might have struck me; and while I 
 felt for my comrades, 1 thanked God that I had 
 escaped. 
 
 We were now anxious for orders to commence 
 firing, as the enemy were still marching forwards; 
 the ground in front was somewhat undulated, rising 
 a little, for about 200 yards in our front, and then 
 gently falling. Our commanding officer allowed 
 them to advance, as far as to the highest part in 
 our front; and whenever we saw their feet dis- 
 tinctly, gave orders to fire. This was eagerly done; 
 and the moment we began firing, the enemy's line, 
 in place of rushing forward, and destroying us in 
 an instant, made a halt from right to left, and 
 
123 
 
 opened their fire upon us. As we were most afraid 
 of the two pieces of artillery in front playing upon 
 us with grape-shot, those around me directed their 
 fire chiefly at them, which I believe caused them 
 to be removed to one of the flanks. We then le- 
 velled at those directly in our front; but the smoke 
 soon covered thpm so much, that a particular ob- 
 ject was not visible. We then took aim at where 
 we judged their line was; but we were not so 
 much afraid of those directly in our front, as if a 
 body which appeared to be cavalry, and which 
 threatened to come round our left into our rear. — 
 In order to keep them back; those near me di- 
 rected neariy the one half of their fire against 
 them; for we feared that those who were posted 
 in the rear of the bushes to our left, would not be 
 able to prevent them from advancing, the bushes 
 being widely scattered, so that they might have 
 been easily passed. These men, however, did 
 their duty most admirably. The enemy opened a 
 fire of grape-shot, from several pieces of artillery, 
 to dislodge them; but they bravely maintained their 
 post. Our ranks were now getting thinner; our 
 commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Erskine, 
 was severely wounded with grape shot in several 
 parts of the body.* The officer commanding the 
 company I was in, was also wounded, and many 
 more. — After we had fired about 12 rounds, whilst 
 I was in the act of loading, I was struck by a 
 musket ball in the left side, near the pit of the 
 
 * He was taken on board one of the ships in the fleet, 
 and had one of his legs amputated, but he died in a few 
 days, and was buried on shore, at. Abuukir. 
 11* 
 
120 
 
 stomach, close to the ribs, and was whirled round 
 on my heels by the force of the stroke. I was 
 stunned and felt great pain; and, concluding that 
 I was wounded, I stept into the rear and grasped 
 the place with my hand. I found the skin was 
 entire; and on shaking myself, the ball dropped at 
 my feet. I then resumed my place in the ranks, 
 and continued to fire until I had expended 22 
 rounds; when to our great joy, a party of marines, 
 doing duty on shore, arrived on our right, and 
 Dillon's regiment on our left. At the first fire of 
 these troops, the enemy retreated with great pre- 
 cipitation. We pursued them to some distance; 
 and Dillon's regiment coming up with a party of 
 them, charged, and took two pieces of cannon. — 
 The enemy was so closely pressed that he divided 
 his forces, and part of them retreated to the left, 
 through a shallow place of the Lake Maadie, the 
 other part retired direct upon Alexandria. Had 
 we had a proper proportion of cavalry, we might 
 have captured all the enemy's artillery, and even 
 have taken Alexandria itself; for we could have 
 reached it before that part of the enemy's force 
 which retreated to the left, as we were nearer it 
 than they. 
 
 The army formed in line on the heights which 
 the enemy had occupied in the morning: they 
 cannonaded us, and kept up a fire of sharp- 
 shooters, by which we lost a number of men. A 
 division of the army was detached to the left, to a 
 height near to that of Alexandria; the reserve 
 advanced on the right, and another division in the 
 centre. Our regiment was part of the division 
 
127 
 
 sent to the left. The day was warm, and we 
 suffered much from want of water. I have seen a 
 Spanish dollar offered for a draught, and in many 
 instances refused. The gunpowder which un- 
 avoidably got into our mouths by biting the ends of 
 our cartridges while loading, tended greatly to 
 augment our thirst. . 
 
 The enemy had now concentrated bis forces on 
 the heights of Alexandria. When he saw oar di- 
 vision advancing to the left, he sent a party with 
 two guns to cannonade us, and as we advanced 
 nearer, he opened upon us a heavy tire of shot and 
 shell. Our order of march was in divisions of 
 companies; and, as we drew near the height, a 
 cannon bail struck the ground, close to the right 
 of the division of the company I was in. The 
 ground happened to be soft mould; the ball lodged 
 itself in the mould, and we were covered with 
 the dust and small fragments of stones which it 
 raised. It was a great mercy that the ground was 
 not hard in that spot, as it was in the greatest part 
 of the adjacent ground; for the ball would in that 
 case have rebounded, and in all probability have 
 laid down the front rank of the division. I felt 
 thankful for deliverance, and continued to pray in 
 my heart to God to spare and protect me. — We 
 formed in close columns upon the height. The 
 bed of a canal, over which was a bridge, lay in 
 the bottom of the hollow that was betwixt us and 
 the enemy's position: the bridge was defended by 
 a party of cavalry and infantry, with two guns. 
 The 44th regiment, being sent in front, charged 
 the enemy with the bayonet, and captured the 
 
12S 
 
 bridge; and the party which defended it retired 
 into their own lines. During this operation the 
 columns advanced, and began to descend into the 
 hollow. Our regiment was in the front, the enemy 
 played upon us with his artillery, to which we 
 were now dreadfully exposed; but, after we had 
 descended some way down the height, we were 
 ordered to retire; and, as we retreated undercover 
 of tfre height, we w°re partly screened from his 
 fire. After we had remained in this position some 
 time, our regiment was allowed to retire to the 
 rear of the right of the centre division of the army. 
 This division had been formed in line on the 
 plain, and being wholly unprotected from the 
 enemy's shot, had suffered very severely. They 
 were still in this state; but they had now laid 
 down their arms, and either sat or lay on the 
 ground, by which means they were not so much 
 exposed. We took up our position, and several 
 men from each company were allowed to go in 
 quest of water. I was one of them; and, as no 
 one knew where to find it, we took different 
 routes. After travelling some distance to the rear, 
 I got information where water was to be had; and 
 having made all haste to the spot, 1 found it, and 
 instantly began to drink; but 1 thought I should 
 never be satisfied. Never was any thing so pre- 
 cious to me in all my life as this water. After 
 having drank a considerable quantity, I began to 
 fill the canteens (of which I had ten) which I had 
 brought to fetch it to those who remained; but 
 many a drink I took before I had filled them. I 
 then began to feel a little hungry, having eaten 
 
129 
 
 nothing from the preceding morning, lest it should 
 increase my thirst. I sat down and took a piece 
 of biscuit and a bit of pork, and began to eat; but 
 still every mouthful required a little of the water; 
 and I wished to be fully satisfied, before leaving 
 the place, that I might not be under the necessity 
 of drinking any of what I was carry ins: awav. 
 The water was white and muddy, but not thick; 
 it was in a part of what bad been the bed of a 
 canal, or had been hollowed out by torrents coming 
 from the heights in the winter season, across the 
 mouth of which a bank had been thrown, which 
 prevented the water from running into the lake, to 
 which it was near. Having satisfied my thirst, I 
 returned with a load of water to my comi ades, to 
 whom it was as acceptable as it had been to my- 
 self. We remained until near sun set in the same 
 position; and as the whole army was within reach 
 of the enemy's shot, he continued less or more to 
 cannonade us. When our regiment got on their 
 feet and began to move, they fired at us from two 
 of their heaviest guns. One of the balls rebounded 
 from the ground, nearly killed our Major, and 
 passed through the ranks: those opposite to it saw 
 it, and were so fortunate as to make an opening, 
 through which it passed without touching any one. 
 By sun set the army took up its position on the 
 heights from which the enemy had been driven on 
 the morning, with our right to the sea, and our 
 left to the canal that separated Lake iYlaadie from 
 the bed of Lake Marcotis. — As soon as our position 
 was adjusted, and we had liberty to pile our arms, 
 tlie cry was for more water; and as I had been 
 
130 
 
 sent for it before, and knew where it was to be 
 found, I was sent along with others. It was dusk 
 before we reached the spot, which now presented 
 a confused but interesting scene. The cavalry and 
 artillery horses, which had been all day without 
 water, were now there, &nd had gone into it with 
 their feet, where they were greedily drinking. 
 This had stirred up the mud, and made the water 
 a perfect puddle; near the e.t\^e. it was as thick as 
 paste. We had therefore to wade in among the 
 horses to where it was deeper; so that here were 
 men and horses, standing promiscuously, knee 
 deep in the water, trying as it were which could 
 drink fastest. By the time I got my canteens rilled, 
 it was pretty dark; and, owing to the confusion, 
 as I could not see, I had great difficulty in rinding 
 the regiment. 
 
 1 now lay down on the ground to take some 
 rest. I reflected seriously on the events of the 
 past day, and thanked God for having heard my 
 prayers, and for having spared and protected me. 
 I remembered the promises I had made, and my 
 conscience accused me of having broken them 
 almost as soon as made. Even during the time of 
 the action, when many were falling around me, 
 and my danger was greatest, I had made use of im- 
 proper expressions: expressions which I was not 
 guilty of using at other times, and which, on such 
 an occasion, above all others, I ought to have 
 avoided. This threw me into dejection of spirits, 
 and into a train of very serious reflections for 
 several days; reflections which were deepened by 
 my being led to see more minutely the danger I 
 
131 
 
 had escaped. Having occasion to shift my clothes, 
 1 observed that the ball which had struck me on 
 the side, had passed through my coat and cut my 
 waistcoat between the second and third button 
 from the bottom; it had then grazed my side, and 
 had been obstructed in its passage outwards by a 
 small volume of poems, containing Pope's Essay 
 on Man, Blair's Grave, and Gray's Elegy, which 
 I had in my side pocket. The corner of the bind- 
 ing next to my side was shattered, and the greater 
 part of the leaves much bruised. I now discerned, 
 that it had been the force with which the ball 
 struck the book that had wheeled me round. I 
 w r as impressed with the conviction, that if I had 
 been standing square to my front, the ball would 
 have lodged in my left side; and that even in the 
 oblique position in which I stood, had it been one 
 inch nearer the right, it would have lodged in the 
 body and proved mortal. There were few of my 
 comrades that had not their clothes cut in several 
 places; and many had received contusions that 
 would have proved mortal wounds, if the French had 
 properly loaded their pieces. It was said that they 
 did not use the ramrod in loading, which enabled 
 them to fire with greater rapidity; but the charge 
 being loose in their pieces, the shot did not fly so 
 true to its direction, and was in many cases weak; 
 making only a contusion, in place of perlorating 
 the body. This partly accounts for such a long 
 continued and tremendously superior fire, not 
 being so destructive as might have been appre- 
 hended. The regiment lost 125 killed and wound- 
 ed; but our wonder was how so many had escaped. 
 
133 
 
 The loss sustained by the army, was 156 killed, 
 1082 wounded; and of seamen and marines there 
 were 29 killed and 55 wounded, making a total 
 of 1322. Fuur pieces of cannon and some am- 
 munition were taken from the enemy. 
 
 A great part of the grape-shot and cannon balls, 
 that were tired by the French, were made of a 
 composition of brass. They had taken the cop- 
 per-sheeting and bells of a number of the ships in 
 the harbour, and the unserviceable brass guns in 
 their possession, and had melted them into balls, 
 to prevent their ammunition from being exhausted; 
 because, the blockade of Egypt by our ships of 
 war, prevented them from receiving regular sup- 
 plies Irom France. But the grape-shot of this 
 description that 1 lodged in the bodies of the wound- 
 ed, had the tendency of making the wounds foul. 
 
 1 continued to ponder over what had taken 
 place; and my mind became increasingly uneasy. 
 Conviction of sin, and a sense of ingratitude to 
 God for his mercies, drove me almost to despair. 
 I had my Bible with me, but made no use of it: 
 our duty and fatigues left almost no leisure to do 
 so, even had I been so inclined; and the dangerous 
 nature of our present situation agitated the mind, 
 and prevented the composure needful for the in- 
 vestigation of truth. One who previously knew 
 the spiritual import of the Scriptures, might have 
 made some profitable use of a Bible; but our cir- 
 cumstances were quite unfavourable ior one like 
 me. I was left to ruminate upon what occurred to 
 my memory. I recollected what Manoah's wife said 
 to her husband, when he was afraid that he should 
 
133 
 
 die because he bad seen God. " If tbe Lord were 
 pleased to kill us, he would not have received a 
 burnt-offering and a meat-offering at our hands; 1 ' 
 (Judges xiii. 23.) and was led to conclude, that I 
 ought not to give myself over to despair, seeing 
 God had yet spared my life. I had also a general 
 recollection of the following passage of Young's 
 Night Thoughts: 
 
 . Time destroyed 
 
 Is Suicide, where more than blood is spilt. 
 
 Time flies, death urges, knells call, heav'n invites, 
 
 Hell threatens; all exerts: in effort, all; 
 
 More than creation labours! — Labours more? 
 
 And is there in creation, what, amidst 
 
 This tumult universal, wing'd despatch, 
 
 And ardent energy, supinely yawns? — 
 
 Man sleeps, and Man alone; and Man whose fate, 
 
 Fate irreversible, entire, extreme, 
 
 Endless, hair-hung, breeze-shaken, o'er the gulf 
 
 A moment trembles; drops! and Man for whom 
 
 All else is in alarm! Man, the sole cause 
 
 Of this surrounding storm! and yet he sleeps, 
 
 As the storm rock'd to rest, — Throw Years away? 
 
 Throw Empires, and be blameless. Moments seize, — 
 
 Heaven's on their wing: a moment we may wish 
 
 When worlds want wealth to buy. Bid Bay stand still, 
 
 Bid him drive back his car, and re-import. 
 
 The period past; regive the given hour: 
 
 Lorenzo, more than miracles we want: 
 
 Lorenzo — O for yesterdays to come! 
 
 Such is the language of the man awake; 
 His ardour such, for what oppresses thee: 
 And is his ardour vain, Lorenzo? — No; 
 That more than miracle the gods indulge; 
 To-day is yesterday return'd; return'd 
 Full-powt-r'd to cancel, expiate, raise, adorn, 
 And reinstate us on the Rock of peace. 
 Let it not share its predecessor's fate; 
 
 12 
 
134 
 
 Nor, like its elder sisters, die a fool. 
 Shall it evaporate in fume? fly off 
 Fuliginous, and stain us deeper still? 
 Shall we be poorer for the plenty pour'd? 
 More wretched for the clemencies of heav'n? 
 
 Night Second, 
 
 While I had a general recollection of this pas- 
 sage on my mind, there were a number of its par- 
 ticular expressions very frequently in my memory. 
 When I thought on the past dangers I had come 
 through, and looked at our present hazardous 
 situation, the words 
 
 " hair-hung, breeze-shaken, o'er the gulf 
 
 *' A moment trembles," 
 
 strongly impressed my mind with a sense of the 
 critical nature of human life in general, and of 
 such a situation as I was now in, in particular; 
 and the words, 
 
 and yet he sleeps, 
 
 As the storm rock'd to rest' 
 
 with the folly of being careless and unconcerned, 
 in such a situation; and when I thought on the 
 misimprovement of past time, the words, 
 
 O for yesterdays to come!" 
 
 spoke the feelings of my heart: — but the words, 
 
 " To day is yesterday return'd; return'd 
 
 " Full-power'd to cancel, expiate, raise, adorn, 
 
 " And reinstate us on the Rock of peace," 
 
 were often in my mind, and contributed, with the 
 words of Manoah's wife, to give me a partial ease; 
 they led me to form a new resolution, of getting 
 
135 
 
 out once more in attempting to lead a godly life, 
 and keep the divine commandments. Having 
 formed this resolution, I set about the performance 
 of it with all due care, and my mind enjoyed a 
 temporary peace. I was frequent in prayer, as I 
 hoped that by this means 1 should prevent my 
 mind from wandering. I had taken my present 
 resolution so strongly, that I thought if I did not 
 keep it this time, I could never hope to keep any 
 resolution afterwards. 
 
 We now got our tents on shore, and were busily 
 employed in landing the heavy artillery, and in 
 raising breast-works and redoubts. The fatigues 
 of the army were very great; and as nearly the 
 one half were now affected with the night blind- 
 ness, they were ordered to take their turn or night 
 duties. A blind and a seeing man were put to 
 work together, to carry two-handed baskets filled 
 with earth to raise the breast-works, the seeing 
 one leading the blind; and as the seutries on the 
 out-posts were double, a blind and a seeing man 
 were also put together: the blind man was com- 
 pany to the other; for, although he could not see, 
 he could hear; and more depended upon that than 
 upon seeing for the best sight could not see an 
 object at night at any distance. When upon sentry 
 at night, I discovered that when 1 looked a good 
 while to the ground, I could discern upon it the 
 shadows of persons that were approaching me; but 
 if I lifted up my head I could not see the persons 
 themselves, though they came close to my lace. I 
 continued, when out at night, to look constantly 
 
136 
 
 to the ground, and my sight gradually got better, 
 and was quite recovered by the night of the 20th. 
 During the march of the army from Aboukir, I 
 had seen great quantities of ruins; and while em- 
 ployed in working among them, and in building 
 breast-works and redoubts with the stones of an- 
 cient palaces, and the earth that formed the banks 
 of their far-famed canals, I could not but reflect 
 on the ancient glory of Egypt, of which there were 
 so many evidences, even in the barren peninsula 
 of Aboukir. I saw in these ruins the fulfilments 
 of Jehovah's threatenings, and an evidence of the 
 truth of the Scriptures; — and from the description 
 given of "populous No," (Nahum. iii. 8, 9, 10. 
 Ezekiel xxx. 14, 15, 16, which I had frequently 
 read during the passage up the Mediterranean,) I 
 conceived that somewhere in this vicinity, such a 
 city must have stood. These reflections gave an 
 unusual degree of interest to our operations. We 
 were now upon Scripture ground: we had come 
 from a distant island of the sea, to the land of the 
 proud Pharaohs, to carry on our military opera- 
 tions where Nebuchadnezzar, and Alexander the 
 Great, had carried on theirs. The event was 
 singular and striking: and our situation novel and 
 interesting. Our camp stretched from the sea to 
 the lake; and on the lake were numerous boats, 
 bringing provisions, ammunition, and military 
 stores from the fleet; while parties of seamen and 
 soldiers were carrying or dragging through the 
 deep sand, the various articles from the landing 
 place, distant about two miles from the position of 
 the army. And within four miles of our front, 
 
137 
 
 were the heights of Alexandria, upon which the 
 enemy's troops were posted, with the various forts 
 which they had constructed for their defence. On 
 the right of their position stood the heautiful and 
 majestic column, known by the name of " Pom- 
 pey's Pillar;" and towards their left stood the 
 stately obelisk called " Cleopatra's Needle."* The 
 
 * For the information of such readers as have not access 
 to large works, 1 will take the liberty of inserting an ac- 
 count of the dimensions of these celebrated and ancient 
 monuments, from Sir R. Wilson's history. 
 
 " Pompey's Pillar is of the Corinthian order, and eighty- 
 eight feet six inches in height; the shaft formed of a single 
 block of granite, retaining the finest polish, except where 
 the wind on the north-east front has chafed the surface a 
 little; it is sixty-four feet in height, and eight feet four 
 inches in diameter. 
 
 " About thirty yards in the rear of the French intrench- 
 ments, stands Cleopatra's Needle, and one of equal magni- 
 tude is lying close by, horizontally. The form of these 
 obelisks is of considerable elegance, and their magnitude 
 is enormous, considering that each is only one piece of 
 granite; their height is sixty-eight feet three inches, and 
 their base seven feet seven inches by seven feet square; 
 their sides are covered with hieroglyphics, which, on the 
 eastern front of the one that is upright, are much effaced 
 by the wind. 
 
 " Tradition affirms that they ornamented the gate of Cleo- 
 patra's palace. From the quantity of marble, &c. &c. found 
 near the spot, probably the residence of the sovereigns of 
 Egypt was placed there. — History of the Expedition, 2d vol. 
 pp. 156,158, 159. 
 
 Dr. E D. Clark, the traveller, who has paid great atten- 
 tion to the study of the age and design of ancient monu- 
 ments, thinks that the shaft of Pompey's Pillar " is of much 
 earlier antiquity than either the capital or the pedestal." 
 He gives probable reasons to believe that the shaft was 
 made in the time of Alexander the Great, the founder of 
 Alexandria, and who was buried there, to be a sepulchral 
 pillar to the memory of that monarch; but that Julius Cxsar 
 
 12* 
 
138 
 
 old walls of Alexandria were behind them, over 
 which tiie masts of near 200 sail of ships were 
 visible, which had conveyed the army of Bona- 
 parte from France, and had been blockaded by 
 the English since that time. And in the more 
 distant view to the sea, was the Isle of Pharos, at 
 the entrance of the harbour, on which once stood 
 a light -house, mentioned by Rollin in his Ancient 
 History as one of the seven wonders of the world, 
 but which was now strongly fortified by the 
 French, for the protection of the harbour, before 
 which a squadron of our fleet was kept constantly 
 cruising. 
 
 The Arabs began to bring us sheep and young 
 onions for sale. The men of the tent I was in, 
 bought a sheep for a Spanish dollar, from an Arab, 
 whose only covering was a plaid thrown round 
 his naked body, resembling those worn by High- 
 land shepherds. But our greatest difficulty was 
 to find wood to cook it with. The bark of the 
 date tree was the only part of it that would burn: 
 its withered leaves, with the roots of a creeping 
 kind of brier, which we pulled out of the sandy 
 soil, and with difficulty got to burn, were the only 
 fuel we could find. For a few days we had far to 
 travel for water; but every regiment dug wells in 
 the flat ground, on the left of the position, where 
 
 had set it upon a. pedestal and had put a capital upon it in 
 ho- our of Pompey, whose head he caused to be burnt with 
 funeral honours, and the ashes put into an vrn, and placed 
 on the top of the pillar: but that the pillar had likely fallen 
 afterwards, and had heen restored by the emperor Ha- 
 drian.— Clarke's Travels, 4th Edit. 8vo. vol. v. ch. vii. p. 
 361, &c. 
 
139 
 
 a sufficient supply, although somewhat brackish, 
 was obtained. 
 
 Mv mind continued pretty easy for three or four 
 days; but I found that I was not fulfilling the task 
 that I had undertaken; that I was laiiing in the 
 performance of duty, and was not keeping God 
 and eternity in view, in the manner I had resolved 
 to do. This began to make me again uneasy; and, 
 as my hopes rested on my own performances, 
 when I found that these performances were not 
 what I had promised and resolved they should be, 
 these hopes were shaken. I had not, indeed, been 
 guilty of any open and notorious sins; but I had 
 not done that which I had resolved to do, and on 
 the doing of which I had hoped for the forgiveness 
 of past sins, the favour of God, and eternal life; 
 and this threw me back where I was before. 
 
 The regiment received orders on the 20th, to 
 march early next morning to Ahoukir, to do the 
 hospital duty, because we were too weak to do 
 the duty of a regiment in the line. We were ac- 
 cordingly under arms and marched off an hour be- 
 fore daylight, and left our tents standing for a 
 regiment that was to come fror. the second line 
 to occupy our place. But we had not proceeded 
 above a mile and a half, when we heard a dis- 
 charge of several muskets on the left; which 
 caused us to halt and look to the place where the 
 firing had been. In a tew seconds we saw a 
 number more muskets fired, (for the darkness 
 made the flash of even the pan of every musket 
 distinctly visible,) and alter that a field-piece, and 
 then a general discharge of about 300 muskets; 
 
410 
 
 when it ceased. We knew that there was a guard 
 of about 300 men, and a field-piece, with a work- 
 ing party of as many more, on the spot; and as the 
 firing had ceased, we thought it might be a false 
 attack to disturb the working party and alarm the 
 army. — Alter standing a little, and all continuing 
 quiet, we began with hesitation to proceed on our 
 journey: but we had not moved many steps, when 
 we heard the discharge of a musket on the right 
 of the army: this produced a voluntary halt; and 
 in a few seconds we heard the discharge of two 
 or three more. We were then ordered to return, 
 and had not proceeded f;ir, before a number more 
 discharges were heard in the same direction. This 
 Quickened our march, and we made all expedition 
 towards the tent of the commander-in-chief, which 
 was in the rear of the right of the army Before 
 we got there the firing; on the right was beginning 
 to be pretty thick. We were now ordered to re- 
 sume the position we had left. It was yet dark; 
 but the firing of musketry began to be heavy, and 
 the artillery commenced playing, with the help of 
 lighted lanterns to let them see to load. By the 
 time we got to our position, the action was close 
 air! warm on the right, and the firing of musketry 
 and artillery very heavy, which the darkness of 
 the morning made peculiarly awful. There was 
 now no doubt of a powerful and determined attack 
 from the enemy. When we arrived at our position 
 in the line, the day had begun faintly to dawn. 
 The regiment which was to have taken our place, 
 had not done it; a column of the enemy having 
 ascended the brow of the hill in our front, were 
 
141 
 
 making towards the opening in the line where we 
 should have been. The regiment on the right 
 was extending its left, and the one on the left its 
 right, and had filled up the one half of the space 
 wh p n we arrived. On our arrival a part of us 
 filled up the opening, and began to fire on the 
 enemy's column, which then retreated under the 
 brow of the hill, out of our sight and below the 
 range of shot. They left, however, a number 
 of sharp-shooters on the edge of the hill, who 
 kept up a straggling fire upon our line. The 
 regiments on the right and left now closed their 
 files, and we got ail into line, and in good order; 
 when the enemy's column, having adjusted itself 
 under the brow of the hill, showed itself anew, 
 and came forward to the attack. We again open- 
 ed our fire upon them, which they returned; but 
 after the second or third round, they again re- 
 treated as before, leaving a still greater number of 
 sharp-shooters, who ranged themselves along the 
 edge of the descent of the hill, which in part con- 
 cealed them from us, but allowed them to have a 
 fair view of our line, upon which they kept up a 
 destructive fire. We returned a straggling fire 
 upon them from the line, having no sharp-shooters 
 in front to engage them. 
 
 When on the way back to the army, previously 
 to entering upon this action, the state of my mind 
 was rather different from what it had been before. 
 I prayed earnestly for protection: but having so 
 often failed in the promises I had made, I was 
 afraid to make any more. I began to be diffident 
 of myself. I did not plead with God on the pro- 
 
142 
 
 mise of future amendment, but prayed for mercy. 
 I used indeed the name of Christ; but had no right 
 understanding, either of the true nature of the 
 atonement for the guilt of sin, by his blood, or of 
 his righteousness to justify the ungodly. My con- 
 fidence was not placed in them for acceptance 
 with God; but should death be the issue, I cast 
 myself, with trembling hesitation, on his general 
 mercy, and that with more resignation than for- 
 merly. I confessed my past failures, and prayed that 
 if God was not pleased to preserve me unhurt, but 
 if I was to be wounded, it might be in a merciful 
 way; and that, if death was to be the issue, my 
 sins might be pardoned. This was my prayer on 
 entering the action, and as we had intervals of 
 firing, I repeated it. But great as my fear of 
 death was, I never thought of attempting to avoid 
 it, by flinching from my duty as a soldier in such 
 times of danger. I looked upon such conduct as 
 sinful, and dared not seek present safety by an in- 
 crease of guilt. I was a'so convinced, that coward- 
 ice was attended with the greatest danger, and 
 that our greatest safety lay in every one doing his 
 duty with steady courage. I had fired about twelve 
 rounds, when the sun was beginning to* appear in 
 the horizon, and was in the act of ramming another 
 cartridge, when a shot from one of the sharp-shoot- 
 ers, struck upon the inner ancle bone of my left 
 foot; it turned round the back of the leg, passing 
 between the sinew of the heel and the leg bone, 
 and lodged jus? under the skin, a little above the 
 bone of the outrr ancle. It was there that I felt 
 the pain. I was stunned with the stroke; but from 
 
143 
 
 the part in which I felt the pain, I did not think it 
 was a ball, but that a large shot or shell, having 
 struck some of the stones that were lying in the 
 rear, a splinter from them had hit me in the back 
 of the leg: I loaded my piece, and then, on jilting 
 up my leg to see what was the matter, saw a 
 musket-shot hole in the half-gaiter, and some ap- 
 pearance of blood. I shouldered my •piece, but 
 the sharp-shooters directly in front of me had dis- 
 appeared. I stood a few seconds unresolved what 
 to do; but feeling the pain increase, and seeing 
 the blood beginning to appear more on the gaiter, 
 and the officer commanding the company having 
 come to the rear, and observing that I was 
 wounded, he called to me to fall out, and I was 
 induced to leave the ranks, but felt very reluctant 
 to quit my comrades beibre the battle was decided: 
 not that I loved to stay in a place of danger; but 
 I did not like to leave them in the time of it; and 
 had there been firing at the time, I should have 
 continued to fire while I was abie. As matters 
 stood, however, I conceived it to be my duty, see- 
 ing I was disabled from keeping my placein the 
 ranks, to make the best of my way," as long as I 
 was able, to a place where I might be out of the 
 reach of shot, and get my wound dressed, that it 
 might not receive injury by delay. I got as quickly 
 as I could to the rear, keeping my arms, accoutre- 
 ments, and knapsack which I had* on when wound- 
 ed. The battle at this time was raging upon the 
 right with terrible fury; and the brigade or guards 
 immediately on the right of ours, were closely en- 
 gaged. The roar of the artillery was dreadful, 
 
144 
 
 Daylight bad now made both parties visible to 
 eacb other; but the smoke of the firing obscured 
 the distant view; so that, although the scene of 
 contest was but a short way off from me, I could 
 neither see our own line nor that of the enemy, 
 all being covered with a thick cloud, through 
 which nothing was visible, but the dark red glare 
 of the flashes of the artillery. As I began to de- 
 scend the height in the rear of the army, I was in 
 imminent danger. The position of the brigade of 
 guards, (which was on the right of ours,) and of 
 the right of our own brigade, receded considerably 
 from the spot on which our regiment stood, owing 
 to the direction of the rising ground on which we 
 were posted. In consequence of this, and of the 
 positions of the enemy's columns and artillery, a 
 large proportion of his shot, that had been fired at 
 too high an elevation, fell in the rear of our regi- 
 ment's tents. As I did not at the time observe 
 this circumstance, I took the direct road from cur 
 own rear, to the landing place on Lake Maadie, 
 distant about two miles. I was led by this route 
 to cross the ran?e of the falling shot. The musket 
 and grape shot was coming down in showers, and 
 further on, the large shot was striking and re- 
 bounding offthe ground in rapid succession. I used 
 all possible exertion to get through this danger; 
 and, by the goodness of God, received no further 
 hurt; while others, who, like myself, were wound- 
 ed and retiring to the rear, did not escape. The 
 exertion I had made, with the blood I was losing, 
 which marked my steps in the sand, began to 
 exhaust me; but I had the happiness of having 
 
145 
 
 my canteen full of water at the commencement 
 of my retreat, which refreshed me. My arms, at 
 length, however, becoming too heavy for me, I 
 left my firelock in an erect posture by running 
 the bayonet into the ground, after taking the pow- 
 der out of the pan, to prevent accidents to those 
 that might find it. 
 
 When I had got near to the landing place, I 
 found several surgeons, on the outside of an hos- 
 pital tent that had been lately pitched for the sick, 
 busily engaged in dressing some of the wounded 
 that had arrived before me. I sat down to wait 
 my turn to be dressed, which was not long, for the 
 number before me was not great. When I took 
 the gaiter off* my leg, I pulled a piece of it out of 
 the wound, and as the ball appeared prominent 
 under the skin, it was easily extracted, and another 
 piece of the gaiter was taken out, which was wrap- 
 ped round it. The ball was flattened, and a part 
 of it turned over by the resistance of the ancle 
 bone; yet the bone was not broken. After I was 
 dressed. I lay down at the side of a bush, until I 
 might learn what was to be done with the wound- 
 ed. Bv this time the firing of musketry had ceased 
 on the field of battle; a cannonade alone was 
 heard; and we were all anxiety respecting the 
 success of the day, for if the army was compelled 
 to retreat, the situation of the wounded would he 
 distressing and dangerous. Great numbers of 
 wounded were now arriving to be dressed, who 
 brought different reports, some of them saying, 
 they did not think that the army would be abie to 
 keep its ground. This made us look with ajsxiety 
 13 
 
146 
 
 to the heights, to observe if any retrograde motion 
 was made; but the cannonade ceased; and we 
 were informed that the enemy had been com- 
 pletely repulsed, and had retreated back to Alex- 
 andria. The action terminated about ten o'clock, 
 A.M. 
 
 This action, though short, was severe and bloody, 
 and was sustained on our part chiefly by the right 
 wing of the army, the left having been only par- 
 tially engaged. The object of the enemy was to 
 dislodge the troops on the right, from the rising 
 ground on which they were posted, and then to 
 drive the army into Lake Maadie. He expected 
 to possess himself of the rising ground before day- 
 break; and being perfectly acquainted with the 
 place, and with the way in which we were posted, 
 he was at no loss to make his attack in the dark: 
 but as it was our practice to stand under arms from 
 three o'clock in the morning till an hour alter day- 
 break, we were not taken by surprise. The ene- 
 my's force consisted of nine thousand seven hun- 
 dred men, of which fifteen hundred were cavalry; 
 with forty-six pieces of cannon. Our army, by its 
 losses in the former actions, by parties absent at 
 Aboukir on duty, and by sickness, had been re- 
 duced to somewhat less than ten thousand, inclu- 
 ding four hundred cavalry; with thirty-six pieces 
 of cannon. When the enemy retreated, he left 
 seventeen hundred men dead and wounded on the 
 field, of whom a thousand and forty were buried 
 the first two days: he lost also four hundred horses. 
 How many wounded retired, or had been removed, 
 eould not be known; but military judges calculate 
 
147 
 
 the whole at about four thousand men, which was 
 more than a third of their whole number. We 
 had two hundred and forty-three killed, one thou- 
 sand one hundred and ninety-three wounded, and 
 thirty-two missing, and four seamen killed, and 
 twenty wounded, making a total of 1493.— Our 
 worthy commander-in-chief, Sir Ralph Abercrom- 
 bie, died on the 28th, of a wound he received in 
 the thigh, and was deeply regretted by the whole 
 army. General Moore also was again wounded, 
 but recovered in a short time and returned to his 
 duty. The loss of our regiment was forty men. 
 
 Having lain at the bush until about two o'clock, 
 I then observed a number of the wounded going 
 on board of boats to be taken to the fleet. I got 
 up and went to the landing place, and having got 
 on board one of them, arrived at the fleet in the 
 evening; where I was put on bourd a two decked 
 ship, appropriated for the reception of the wounded, 
 and got into a birth with two more of the same 
 regiment. Upwards of two hundred wounded men 
 were collected on board of this ship; and the 
 wounds of many of them being severe, numbers 
 died during the first ten days. If any one wishes 
 to know what were the topics of conversation 
 among so many men in such circumstances, it 
 pains me to state, that our conversation was about 
 any thing but that one thing which most concern- 
 ed us, and which ought to have engrossed our 
 whole attention. About that world to which so 
 many of us were daily departing, and about that 
 God before whom so many were so soon to make 
 their appearance, there was not a word to be 
 
148 
 
 heard, except it was in taking his name in vain. 
 The groans ot the dying were, to be heard in 
 various quarters of the ship, but no one either 
 asking or telling how a sinner could be saved. 
 Nor was I better than others. I did not improve 
 my mercies. I had been wounded in a compara- 
 tively merciful manner, but I forgot the God to 
 whom I had made my supplication, and neglected 
 my Bible. I conversed with one of my comrades, 
 who was a Scottish Episcopalian, upon church 
 government, and he took some pains to inform me 
 of the claims of Episcopacy, of which I was igno- 
 rant. But what did such topirs avail to dying 
 men, whose conversation ought to have been about 
 the salvation of their souls? He was badly wounded 
 in the thigh, and did not live many weeks. The 
 part of my wound where the ball entered healed 
 in about sixteen days; but the part where it was 
 extracted became inflamed, and the foot and ancle 
 swelled considerably. I was suspicious that the 
 dirty water with winch it was sometimes washed 
 was the occasion of the inflammation. An erro- 
 neous opinion was entertained, that salt water 
 would smart the wounds: and as fresh water was 
 not in plenty on board the ship, only a small quan- 
 tity oi it was allowed for washing them. A great 
 number were washed with one basin-lull, and, as 
 many of the wounds were foul, this was calculated 
 to infect those that were clean. Had salt water 
 been used, a basin of clean water might have been 
 taken to every one. I was washed with salt water 
 when in the hospital at Aboukir, and felt no dif- 
 ference between it and fresh. By the end of three 
 
149 
 
 weeks my wound began to mortify. I was then 
 put into a boat to be taken to the hospital at 
 Aboukir, along with a number more whose cases 
 were considered bad. Two were so weak that 
 they were unable to sit, and were laid upon 
 gratings in the bottom of the boat: one of them 
 died before we reached the shore, and the other 
 died upon the beach. These cases made little im- 
 pression upon my mind; death was becoming 
 familiar to me, and I looked at it with a careless 
 indifference. When the boat reached the shore I 
 was carried to the Hutts hospital; which was a 
 building upon a height, erected by the French to 
 serve as barracks to their troops stationed at 
 Aboukir. 
 
 It was formed of the trunks of date trees split 
 down the middle; the ends were sunk into the 
 ground; the flat side of one tree was turned out- 
 wards, and the flat side of the next inwards, and 
 so alternately, the round edges being made to 
 overlap each other, and the crevices filled with 
 plaister lime. It was roofed in the same manner. 
 A great many bats had formed their nests in the 
 holes, where the roof rested upon the upright 
 posts.— Here I was well taken care of; so that by 
 the mercy of God, the inflammation subsided, and 
 in sixteen days the putrid flesh was wholly cleaned 
 away, leaving a pretty large orifice. A part of the 
 tendon of the heel seemed to have been eaten 
 away by the inflammation, but the damage did not 
 appear to be very serious, and it began to heal 
 rapidly. 
 
 While in this place, a small scorpion had got 
 13* 
 
150 
 
 into my haversack, and as I put my band into it 
 to get some bread it stung me in the point of my 
 thumb. This sensation resembled that whieh is 
 produced by the sting of a bee, but the pain was 
 more violent, and lasted for twenty-four hours be- 
 fore it subsided, but was attended by no other bad 
 consequence. 
 
 The regiment to which I belonged, being at this 
 time encamped at A oukir, made an offer to 
 accommodate their own wounded men, as the 
 general hospital was crowded. This offer was 
 accepted, and those that were in a condition to be 
 moved were sent to the regimental hospital. I 
 remained a day or two there; but, being healthy, 
 and my wound likely to heal soon, I was removed 
 to the convalescent tents, which, on account of 
 some cases of fever in the regimental hospital, 
 were at some distance. There I was left to dress 
 my wound myself, which continued to mend, but 
 not so rapidly as before That dreadful calamity, 
 the plague, made its first appearance at the Hutts 
 hospital about the time that I left it; and, a few 
 days afterwards, a corporal went with a party and 
 buried a surgeon and two women in one hole, and 
 seven others in another, that had already fallen 
 victims to it. 
 
 The strength that the enemy brought to the 
 field on the 21st March, showed that they w< re 
 far more numerous in Egypt than we had been 
 led to believe. The greatest number that had been 
 calculated to be there was 15,000; but they had 
 27,000. As soon as the action of the 21st was 
 over, the army made trenches along the whole po- 
 
151 
 
 sition, and completed and increased the batteries 
 and redoubts with aii possible haste. The left 
 was the weakest part of the position. The bed 
 of Lake Mareotis was in front of it, but it was 
 nearly dry, and passable in many parts both for 
 horse and foot. Lake Maadie # was in the rear 
 of the left, being only separated trom the bed of 
 L.^ke M ireotis by the banks of the canalf of 
 Alexandria; and its waters were considerably 
 above the level of Lake Mareotis and the sur- 
 rounding country. On the 13th April a* large 
 opening was made in the banks of the canal; the 
 water rushed into Lake Mareotis with a fall of 
 six feet, and it continued to rush in for a month, 
 when it nearly found its level; but there continued 
 always a fall of about a foot, owing to the sand 
 absorbing the water. By this measure a large 
 extent of country was inundated; the front of the 
 position was contracted, and the left protected 
 from assault; and Lord Hutchison, who had suc- 
 
 * Or Sed; " sometimes called the Lake of Abouklr. The 
 passage into it at Aboukir, is about two hundred y.«rds 
 wide, and was made about the year 1782, by the sea 
 breaking down the dyke, which had been built ages back, 
 to recover from the ocean that part of the country which 
 now is Lake Maadie." History of the Expedition to Egypt s 
 p. 27. 
 
 f This canal commences at Rhamanieh, on the banks of 
 the Nile, and passes over fifteen or sixteen leagues of 
 country. The bed of it is above the level of Egypt; the 
 banks are formed of earth raised wholly above the surface. 
 There is no waier in it, but at the time of the inundation 
 of the Nile. The beds of the canals in Egypt are all above 
 the level of the country, that, when cm, the water may 
 run out of them. They are properly canals of irrigation. 
 
152 
 
 seeded Sir Ralph Abercrombie, was enabled to 
 proceed with a part of the army to Rosetta, which 
 had been previously taken by a detachment, as- 
 sisted by 4,000 Turks; General Coote being left 
 with the remainder to blockade Alexandria. The 
 force assembling at Rosetta was destined to march 
 against Grand Cairo. The Grand Vizier was 
 advancing with an army from Syria to co-operate 
 in the same object. Our regiment was ordered to 
 join the troops at Rosetta. Most of the men be- 
 longing to it, who had been left on board ship 
 sick of the fever, at the time we landed, had by 
 this time recovered, so that it was now pretty 
 strong. I continued in the convalescent tents 
 about a fortnight. To enable me, when necessary, 
 to go abroad, I procured a rough piece of wood, 
 upon which I got the head of a tent mallet fasten- 
 ed, to serve for a crutch. By the help of this, 
 and a stick in the other hand, I made a shift to 
 go out of the tent; but, not being very expert at 
 the use of the crutch, as I was going out one day, 
 the tent cords catched the lower end of it, and I 
 fell down, with the wounded leg undermost. This 
 was to me a serious accident; for my wound im- 
 mediately began to get worse, and in a few days 
 it was greatly inflamed, and discharging black 
 matter. I was then removed to the hospital tents, 
 to be near the surgeon. Orders came for the regi- 
 mental hospital to be moved to Rosetta, and such 
 cases as were not fit to be moved were sent to the 
 general hospital, which was now an extensive 
 establishment; for the sick and wounded that 
 were on board the fleet were sent on shore, and 
 
153 
 
 lodged in large sheds. Into one of these I was 
 taken, along with another, who bad bttn in the 
 same convalescent tent with me He had been 
 slightly wounded: a musket ball having grazed 
 the Iront of his leg; he was able to walk about 
 with little inconvenience, and was desired by the 
 surgeon not to confine himself close to the tent, but 
 to lake the air, and some little exercise. We were 
 not, however, aware of the extreme danger of 
 having the skin broken in Egypt, let the hurt be 
 ever so slight. His wound bad got much worse; 
 it was not to appearance so serious as mine, yet, 
 after he was a few days in the general hospital, it 
 was found necessary to amputate his leg, an ope- 
 ration which be did not survive long; for the 
 stump mortified, and he died after lingering about 
 five weeks. His case alarmed me not a little; and 
 as my wound continued for some time to get worse, 
 the inflammation spreading, the lower part of the 
 leg swelling greatly, and the pain being excessive, 
 I was the more apprehensive, and prayed earnestly 
 for mercy. Goci was pleased to hear my cry, and 
 to spare me once more. The inflammation by and 
 by subsided; the pain became moderate, my appe- 
 tite, which was lost, returned; and the wound 
 bcg*n to clean and heal. 
 
 The weather was now very warm. The shed 
 in which I was, was so constructed, as to com- 
 bine the advantages of shade and air. The roof 
 was formed of boards, | brought I suppose from 
 Marmot ice,) and was supported upon posts, made 
 of the trunks of date trees, which were sunk into 
 the ground at certain distances; boards were nail- 
 
154 
 
 ed to these posts, and about an inch left open be- 
 twixt each board, to the height of about four feet, 
 and then there was an opening of about two feet 
 to the edge of the roof. This shed was of great 
 length, and was crossed by one or two similar 
 ones. In them all there were three rows ol beds, 
 two rows with the ends of the beds to the sides of 
 the shed, and one, row set length-ways in the 
 centre. Although these structures were so open 
 in the sides we were sufficiently warm during the 
 night. We were, however, much troubled with 
 fleas, of which the sandy floor was full, so that it 
 was impossible to get rid of them. Indeed the 
 whole of the desert was full of these vermin. 
 There were also some crickets of a very large 
 size, which interrupted our sleep by the strong 
 and constant sound of their music; not unmelo- 
 dious in itself, had it not been unseasonable. The 
 flies too gave us a vast deal of annoyance through 
 the day. It was with difficulty that we could 
 keep them out of our eyes; and they were most 
 pernicious to those who had large putrid sores; 
 for, as it was impossible to keep them out of the 
 wound while it was dressing, this occasioned not 
 only present trouble, but the breeding of maggots, 
 which increased the torture of many who were 
 sinking to the grave. Even those who were well, 
 of all classes, found it needful to carry a small 
 bunch of rushes tied upon a handle, to be used 
 like a fan, to drive them away. 
 . On the 23d of May, the hot wind came on. 
 The air was darkened with mist, which was so 
 thick that it rendered breathing difficult. We 
 were glad to cover ourselves over the head with 
 
155 
 
 / bur blankets: for although the heat was intense, 
 and the blankets disagreeably warm and heavy, 
 
 - yet we found our breathing more tolerable under 
 them than when uncovered. The orderly men, 
 who had to go out of the shed for water, and on 
 other necessary business, complained of the heat 
 of the wind, saying that it blew the sand in their 
 faces as hot as fire.* Towards evening the wind 
 
 * This wind was still more dreadful in the interior of 
 the country; and at the place where the array was on its 
 march to Cairo; as appears by the following extract from 
 Sir JR. Wilson's History of the Expedition to Egypt, vol.1. 
 p. 177. 
 
 dLGUM, 23d May. 
 
 " This day will ever be remarkable to the Egyptian 
 army; a sirocco wind darkened with a burning mist the 
 atmosphere; the thermometer was at 120 in the shade; the 
 ground was heated like the floor of a furnace; every thing 
 that was metallic, such as arms, buttons; knives, &c. be- 
 came burning hot; the poultry, exposed to the air, and 
 several horses and camels died; respiration was difficult, 
 and the lungs were parched with fiery particles. Had the 
 heat continued forty-eight hours, the effect would have 
 been dreadful: but happily as night drew on, the wind 
 cooled, and at last changed to the north west. 
 
 •' At Balbeis, the thermometer was at 130; on the west- 
 ern side of the Nile 120; at Alexandria 105." 
 
 Extract from a Journal -written by one of my comrades. 
 
 " We had one day's hot wind from the south; it began 
 to blow about 9 o'clock; and wo be to him that is far from 
 shelter, as neither man nor beast can survive it three days! 
 it came from the desert as hot as the opening of an oven 
 door, bringing small sand like mist along with it. All the 
 sentinels were called in, and the cattle crept close to the 
 ground and groaned for fear. The buffaloes took to the. 
 river, covering themselves, all but the nose, in the water; 
 and no man was able to stir out of his tent until the even- 
 ing." 
 
156 
 
 blew from the sea; the air became clear; and the 
 night was about its usual coolness. But the con- 
 sequences of this wind were dreadful to the hos- 
 pital. The plague now raged with redoubled fury, 
 and made fearful havoc amon^ the nurses and 
 orderly men, and those who had slight wounds. 
 The three nurses who attended the division of the 
 shed I was in, were infected one after the other, 
 and were sent to the pest hospital; where, as I 
 afterwards heard, they died. One set of nurses 
 and orderly men followed another in rapid suc- 
 cession for some weeks. It was observed, that 
 none of those who had large sores were infected 
 by it; but such sores after this period were more 
 mortal, for mortifications now became rapid in 
 their progress, and baffled the power of medicine 
 to arrest them. Amputations were multiplied, but 
 were mostly unavailing; and even sores compara- 
 tively slight, mortified and proved fatal. Some of 
 the casrs struck me forcibly. — A sailor who had 
 a slight wound in one of his legs, and who could 
 move about, and be serviceable to those that were 
 bed-fast, went one night to the shore, which was 
 not far off, to get some drink; his leg immediately 
 got worse; in a few days the entire calf of it was 
 one putrid ulcer, with numbers of maggots; poul- 
 tices, spirits of wine, and other strong liquors, and 
 tinctures were profusely used, but in vain — he 
 died in about a week. Another, whose wound was 
 cured, and who was ordered to join his regiment, 
 absented himselJ on the night previous to thenlay 
 appointed for his departure, and that of some 
 others. In a day or two after the party was gone, 
 
157 
 
 he appeared in his place with a sore leg. It was 
 believed that he had purposely scratched his shin 
 with a stone; but whatever way he had taken to 
 make it sore, the surgeon, who had not noticed 
 his conduct, saw that it required dressing, which 
 was done without any particular inquiry; and as 
 none that knew his conduct liked spontaneously to 
 inform upon him, he was not called in qutstion. 
 It was manifest, however, that cowardice was the 
 cause of his injuring his leg, that he might remain 
 in the hospital until danger was over. But the 
 very means he took to avoid danger, to which he 
 might never have, been exposed, proved his de- 
 struction. In three or four days his leg became so 
 much inflamed, that amputation was rendered 
 necessary. This was performed above the knee, 
 but the inflammation had reached the thigh. As 
 he lay nearly opposite to me, I saw the face of the 
 stump when it was dressed. The skin never 
 united; at the second or third dressing the flesh 
 of the thigh was detached from the bone; so much 
 so, that there was a large cavity underneath the 
 bone, which made it visible almost to the joint 
 He died before next day, being about ten or twelve 
 days from the time he appeared with his leg sore. 
 At. my left hand lay a young man, a sailor belong- 
 ing to the Northumberland 74, with a large ulcer 
 in the under side of his right arm, a little below 
 the arm pit. I formed an attachment to this young 
 man; took a note of his own and his mother's 
 name, and place of residence, and of the time 
 when his wages became due; and promised, if I 
 got safe to England, to inform them of these par- 
 14 
 
158 
 
 ticulars, and of the time and circumstances of his 
 death, for he was sensible that death was near. 
 But there is one thing that gives me no small 
 pain, when I reflect upon it, to this day; that, al- 
 though I saw he was dying, I was not able, with 
 all the religion I thought I had, to point my dying 
 comrade to the Saviour. Not having found a 
 Saviour to my own sou!, whatever I might say 
 about religion or religious subjects, a Saviour, pro- 
 perly so called, was no part of my system. I who 
 never beheld Jesus, as the Lamb of God which 
 taketh away the sin of the world, could not point 
 him out, in that soul-reviving character, to others; 
 neither did there appear to be in this house of death, 
 any one that could point his dying comrades to a 
 Saviour, nor any among the dying throng, that 
 were asking after a Saviour. Whatever emotions 
 might be passing through the minds of any, the 
 question as to what became of the soul after death. 
 the hope of heaven, or the fear of hell, the way 
 to attain the one and escape the other, never be- 
 came a subject of conversation; and yet if ever 
 circumstances, (short of those of criminals con- 
 demned to die, without any hope of mercy, upon 
 a particular day,) could have forced such conver- 
 sation upon a company of sinful mortals, it must 
 have been the circumstances we were in. But 
 every one seemed to indulge the hope of life, until 
 the cold hand of death was already on his heart, 
 and left him little time to think of that world to 
 which he was going, and less ability to communi- 
 cate his thoughts to others, or to ask, or to receive 
 information. And this was the case, not in this 
 
159 
 
 hospital only, but in all the hospitals I was in, 
 both before and afterwards. I did indeed say a 
 few words to my dying comrade, about praying 
 for mercy to his soul, and made use of the name 
 of Jesus in a formal way; and he continued for 
 several days before his death, to pray very earnest- 
 ly to God for mercy, and made use of that name: 
 but whether he understood the character of Jesus 
 as a Saviour, and was led to place his dependence 
 upon his merits, is more than I can tell. It may 
 be, that the Spirit of Christ, in his sovereign 
 grace, gave him a saving knowledge of that name 
 that was used at first in ignorance, and led him to 
 trust m him lor salvation; but if this was the case, 
 it was known only to himself; he was unable to 
 make it known to others; and, although he had 
 been able to tell me if I asked, I was unable to 
 discern it; for he that has not been enlightened 
 by the Spirit of Christ himself, and brought out of 
 darkness into marvellous light, is ill qualified to 
 discern when that change takes place upon others.* 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Preparations having been made for erecting 
 a general hospital in the town of Rosetta, all that 
 were capable of being removed from Aboukir were 
 
 * The promise that I made of informing' his relatives of 
 the lime and circumstances of his death, t fulfilled when I 
 came to Ireland, for which I received a letter of thanks 
 from his brother. 
 
160 
 
 sent there. I left Aboukir, and was taken on 
 board of a Germ on the 23d June; which sailed 
 in the afternoon; and at day-break next morning, 
 we were near the entrance of the Rosetta branch of 
 the Nile. The surf on the bar, at the mouth of the 
 river, was high; but the Arabs, who navigated the 
 vessel, risked the passage. The hazard on such oc- 
 casions is considerable, owing to the surf, and the 
 shallowness of the water on the bar: for the vessel 
 is in danger of striking on the bottom between the 
 surges; and, when this takes place, the next wave 
 that comes is apt either to break over her and fill 
 her with water, or to overset her. — When we came 
 opposite that part of the bar, which the Arabs 
 thought deepest, they pointed the bow of the ves- 
 sel to it, and clued up the sails that she inight 
 have little pitch, and might float as levei as possi- 
 ble; they then got out hand poles; and, as soon as 
 she began to lose head- way, they set the poles to 
 the bottom, and pushed her forward with all their 
 power, making a great noise, until we got over 
 the bar into smooth water. There were several 
 masts of vessels visible near where we passed, that 
 had recently been swamped in this dangerous pas- 
 sage. Many British seamen lost their lives here, 
 for they were ignorant of its real danger, and 
 would hardly be convinced of it, because it had 
 not at a distance a very dangerous appearance. It 
 was not until they had actually got upon the bar, 
 that the extent and nature of the danger were per- 
 ceivable; and then, to attempt to return against 
 the wind and surge is vain; they must push 
 through or perish. At the first I wondered why 
 
161 
 
 the Arabs were making so much noise; but when 
 we came upon the bar my surprise ceased. I had 
 never seen any thing like it; yet the wind was not 
 stormy, and if such was the state of this place 
 with a moderate wind, how terrible must it be in 
 a storm. — As soon as we were in smooth water, 
 the large sails were again spread out to the wind, 
 we passed rapidly up the Nile, and in a short time 
 were at Rosetta. 
 
 I was soon taken into a large square building, 
 having a square court in the centre, and piazzas 
 round about horn the bottom to the top; the ground 
 flat, which was high in the roof, was occupied as 
 cellars, store-houses, &c. There were two flats 
 above, the various apartments of which communi- 
 cated with piazza'd passages, round the centre 
 square. This building, from the largeness of its 
 size, and the number of its apartments, accom- 
 modated a great many patients, consisting of men 
 of all the different regiments, promiscuously lodged 
 together. 
 
 In coming into a place of this kind, among so 
 many strange faces, and various and opposite cha- 
 racters, it is a matter of some consequence to meet 
 with some one previously known, to whom you 
 can talk, in whom you can place confidence, and 
 who will act the part of a comrade. In this respect 
 I was fortunate; falling in with a man of my own 
 company, whose bed was next to mine: a young 
 man of agreeable dispositions. He was the rear 
 rank man of the second file from my right, in the 
 battle of the 13th March, who got the calf of his 
 leg grazed by the cannon ball, as formerly related. 
 14* 
 
163 
 
 His leg was now in a hopeful way; and being able 
 to move about with the belj3 of a stick, he was 
 serviceable to me who was confined to bed. In 
 this building we were more cool than on the 
 sands of Aboukir; the flies were not so excessive- 
 ly troublesome through the day; and as the floor, 
 which was upon arches, was paved with flat stones, 
 or large bricks, the fleas were not so numerous. 
 But a new enemy attacked us during the night, 
 which we had not met with before — the mus- 
 quitoes. They were very troublesome; and there 
 was no way of securing ourselves from their bite, 
 which was very sharp, and for a while had an in- 
 flammatory effect; so much so, that every one for 
 some time after his arrival, resembled a person in 
 the height of the measles. Our accommodation 
 and attendance were much better here in many 
 respects. We were provided with sheets for our 
 beds, which was very agreeable; for a sheet was 
 as much as one could bear for a covering during 
 the night; nor was even that needed so much for 
 heat, as to be a partial defence against the mus- 
 quitoes. Our woollen blankets, which w ould have 
 been quite uncomfortable from their heat, were 
 very useful now to put under us; for our beds 
 being made of branches of the date tree, put across 
 each other, with a slender matt, made of a par- 
 ticular kind of rushes, laid over them to cover the 
 holes, the cross spars soon became prominent, and 
 were very uneasy to lie upon. My knapsack was 
 my pillow, and my blanket, folded four -ply, Iput 
 under me. Without it indeed, it would not have 
 been possible to lie in the beds; and even with it ? 
 
1(53 
 
 they were very uncomfortable, especially for those 
 who were long and close confined to them. 
 
 I had not been in Rosetta above a fortnight, 
 when my wound again inflamed and mortified in 
 a most alarming degree; the leg swelled excessive- 
 ly, and the wound became large and jet black, 
 with a most offensive smell. I was very much 
 alarmed; I beheld many dying, whose wounds 
 were in a similar state, and some of them 
 apparently not so bad; the severity of pain de- 
 prived me of appetite: nor could I so much as 
 drink the wine that was allowed me. The pain 
 continued to increase; the discharge from the 
 wound was great; I was reduced to a skeleton, and 
 my strength was failing fast; I was at the gates of 
 death; and, with eternity before me, I was desti- 
 tute of that discernment of the merits and grace of 
 the Great Redeemer, which alone can form a sure 
 ground of confidence, and a true source of consola- 
 tion to a poor sinner, ready to perish. I again re- 
 flected on my past life, and accused myself of want 
 of firmness in my resolutions. I thought God had 
 now athicted me in order to make me hate sin, 
 and love righteousness; and that were I again re- 
 stored to health, and free from pain, nothing in this 
 world would be able Jo make me leave my duty: 
 and I flattered myself that what I had now suffered 
 had destroyed the love of sin in my heart. Under 
 this persuasion, being in agony through the seventy 
 of pain, I exclaimed, "Lord, let it suffice thee, 
 for it is enough; take but thine hand from me 
 this once!' Although this was not a prayer be- 
 coming a sinner ready to perish, which ought to 
 have been a supplication for mercy for the sake of 
 
161 
 
 Christ; yet God was pleased in bis compassion to 
 grant me the thing I sought. He did remove his 
 hand, and spare my life; the mortification, after 
 having raged about three weeks, subsided; the 
 putrid flesh began to fall away; the burning pain 
 left the wound; and in about ten days it was clean; 
 but the mortification had detached, and wholly 
 destroyed, the greater part of the tendon of the 
 heel. I now looked upon myself as one that had 
 been rescued from the grave, and the occurrences 
 that took place immediately, tended still more 
 strongly to impress this upon my mind. The 
 wound of my comrade, who had been serviceable 
 to me when I was so iii, as I began to mend, grew 
 worse, inflamed, and in a few days, nearly the 
 whole of the calf of his leg; was one putrid mass. 
 A blood-vessel burst in it during the night; but he 
 was in such pain, that he was not sensible of the 
 bleeding, which continued until day break; when 
 the floor under and around his bed was covered 
 with blood. The surgeon was sent for, to whom 
 he said, " I bf lieve Sir, I have been bleeding to 
 death in the night time, and was not sensible of 
 it." The bleeding had now ceased, but he was 
 so weak that he was unable to speak; and he died 
 in a few hours, and was carried out and buried. 
 The Saviour's words, u One shall be taken and 
 the other left,'* struck me forcibly in these cir- 
 cumstances: when my comrade, who was so 
 shortly before in a fairer way of recovery than I 
 was, was thus cut off, and 1 was left as a monu- 
 ment of God's sparing mercy.. 
 
 His bed was not long empty. In a few days 
 
an Irish grenadier was brought to it, whose case 
 was truly hopeless. He had had a bile on the 
 lower part of the breast, which had mortified; the 
 mortification hod spread over the breast, and had 
 eaten a hole larger than a dollar into the chest, so that 
 when the dressing was off, the inside of the chest 
 was visible. Me lived in great agony for about six 
 days, and died; by which time the hole into the 
 chest was much larger. — In a few days after, the 
 same bed was filled by an artilleryman, a towns- 
 man of my own, who had got the calf of one ot liis 
 legs accidentally bruised. The leg-inflamed; am- 
 putation was resorted to; but, with all the atten- 
 tion the surgeons paid to him, he also died in a very 
 short time. My wound continued to mend; and 
 as soon as I was able to move, I got a crutch and 
 a staff, and a strap to support my leg, and go* out 
 of bed for a part of the day, after having been con- 
 fined to it nearly six months. 
 
 This was about the middle of September, be- 
 fore the Nile had attained the height of its inun- 
 dation. I passed a part of the day, sitting in one 
 of the front windows which looked to the Nile, 
 and remarked its daily progress. As I grew 
 stronger, I got upon the roof of the building, which 
 was flat, and had a view of the town and the sur- 
 rounding country. In the country, on the oppo- 
 site side of the Nile, nothing was to be seen, as 
 far as the eye could reach, but water, with the 
 trees standing in it. I travelled about too, visiting 
 my acquaintances in the hospital who belonged to 
 the same regiment with myself. 
 
 Some of the Arab watermen were employed to 
 supply the hospital with water. They brought it 
 
166 
 
 from the Nile* upon their backs, in the skins of 
 goats slung across their shoulders. The skin had 
 been sewed up after being taken off the animal, 
 and was in its natural shape; the neck part being 
 left open for filling and emptying. (This was 
 simply twisted and held together with the hand, 
 when the skin was to be immediately emptied; 
 but it might be tied, when it was to be kept full, 
 or carried to a distance.) All kinds of liquids, 
 even wine and honey are kept in these skins. — 
 This illustrates the parable of the new wine and 
 old bottles, Luke v. 37, 38. The bottles were 
 skins: and, as wine is a fermented liquor, the skin 
 bottles, once used, would be so much impregnated 
 with the wine that had been in them, that if new 
 wine were put into them, it would cause it to fer- 
 ment anew; and this would burst them. The 
 original inmates of the hospital were now greatly 
 reduced; a number having recovered, and a great 
 many. having died: but it was not allowed in any 
 part to remain empty. Grand Cairo having sur- 
 rendered to the British and Turkish forces on the 
 2 1th June, the sick of our own army were sent 
 down the Nile; and they tilled up all the vacan- 
 cies. Cases of dysentery, and sore eyes, were so 
 numerous, that a number of buildings were fitted 
 up in Rosetta for their reception. Many died of 
 the dysentery; but those afflicted with sore eyes 
 
 * During the time of t he inundation, the water in the 
 river is very thick but as much pure water as served us 
 for drinking, was procured from some private wells in the 
 town, which I suppose had a communication with the river, 
 which had the effect of filtering the water. 
 
167 
 
 were most numerous, and much to be pitied.— - 
 Their torment was excessive: the pain .in their 
 eyes was as if they had been filled with burn- 
 ing sand, they had no respite .from acute suf- 
 ferings; and many lost their sight in spite of all the 
 power of medicine. About the end of August, my 
 own eyes became dreadfully inflamed in one night. 
 The surgeon applied a very large blister in the 
 morning, and by next day the inflammation was 
 greatly subsided, but I did not get wholly free of 
 it until I left Egypt, and was several days at sea 
 on the way to Malta. The Egyptian ophthalmia 
 was one of the most dreadful calamities that ever 
 befel the British army. 
 
 The French that were in Cairo, amounting to 
 13000, were embarked and sent to France in the 
 month of August. 
 
 As my leg continued to mend, I felt grateful to 
 God for his great mercy to me; but it was not long, 
 until I had to accuse myself of having failed in du- 
 ty, and come short of my promise; and this threw 
 me into dejection of mind; which however wore 
 gradually off. As I had much leisure time, I read 
 more of my Bible than formerly; but the histori- 
 cal parts attracted my attention more than the doc- 
 trinal. Happening to read through the beginning 
 of Exodus, 1 was struck when I found, that I had 
 made use of the same words that Pharaoh used to 
 Moses, chap. ix. ver. 28, and which he afterwards 
 repeated, chap. x. ver. 17. This made me fear, 
 lest I should prove like Pharaoh; and in place of 
 being softened by mercies, and bound by gratitude, 
 become hardened by them and perish in the end. 
 1 then recollected, that I had heard Dr. Balfour 
 
. 1G8 
 
 preach, from Hebrews iii. 12, 13, I remembered 
 the words, " lest any of you be hardened through 
 the deceitfulness of sin,'"' and I turned to the pas- 
 sage and read it; It led me to ponder on the de- 
 ceitful nature, and dangerous tendency of sin; 
 which increased my fear that I might become 
 hardened, and made my mind very uneasy. I 
 would sometimes think on the instructions I had 
 got, and the tasks I had learned at the Sabbath 
 school; which I had now almost forgotten: I re- 
 membered some little of the seventeenth chapter of 
 John, for the learning of which, myself and others 
 had received a penny. This led me to read it, and 
 the fifty -third of Isaiah, which also I had learned;, 
 but I did not understand its import, although fami- 
 liar with the words. I then turned over aii the 
 parallel passages, that I had read, in proof of doc- 
 trines in the school; and although I did not under- 
 stand those that treated of the way of a sinner's 
 acceptance with God, by faith in the righteousness 
 and atonement of the great Redeemer, yet it help- 
 ed to keep the words of Scripture relative to these 
 doctrines on my memony, which was of use to 
 afterwards. But the doctrines of heaven, and hell, 
 the resurrection, and eternal judgment, are more 
 readily apprehended: and these made increasingly 
 strong impressions on my mind. 
 
 I was now pretty certain that I was unfit for mi- 
 litary service; and from Egypt, the land of bond- 
 age, I cast a longing eye to my native home, and 
 wished myself there, that I might enjoy the bene- 
 fits of a Sabbath, the instructions of religious 
 teachers, and freedom from the society ot the 
 
169 
 
 wicked. All my hopes now centered in this, and 
 had I despaired of it, I would have given myself 
 over for lost. 
 
 After the French were embarked who had sur- 
 rendered at Cairo, our troops which had been 
 there, rejoined the army that was blockading Alex- 
 andria. Several regiments had lately come from 
 England, so that it was now pretty strong. Alex- 
 andria was immediately besieged in form, and the 
 operations pushed so vigorously, that the garrison 
 was compelled to surrender on the 1st September, 
 on condition of retaining their private property and 
 being sent to France. r Their number was about 
 eleven thousand, of all descriptions. This event 
 terminated hostilities in Egypt, and our troops pre- 
 pared to leave it as soon as possible. Rosetta was 
 occupied during the siege by a division of British, 
 and Sepoys, natives of India, under the command 
 of Sir David Baird, who had come from the East 
 Indies to our assistance, with about seven thousand 
 men. They had sailed up the Red sea, and 
 marched through the desert, and arrived at Cairo 
 shortly after it bad surrendered. The Stpoys, 
 when off duty, laid aside their uniforms, and 
 walked about in the burning sun with nothing on 
 the body but a pair of very short white drawers. 
 
 The dress of men and women of the common 
 people of Egypt, consists of a blue cotton gown 
 resembling a woman's shift: some have an upper 
 and under garment. The men wear a sash or 
 girdle round the middle; a turban and slippers; 
 but no stockings. The women have no girdle 
 round the middle; they wear vails; of which those 
 15 
 
170 
 
 that I saw were of coarse net-work, resembling 
 the texture of a Serjeant's sash, and shaped like the 
 little bag nets used for catching trout in small 
 rivers. The mouth of them is put under the chin 
 and over the forehead, and is fastened behind: 
 there are two holes opposite to- the eyes, and the 
 tapering end hangs down the breast. They ap- 
 pear to think, that modesty lies in concealing from 
 public view the lower part of the face, whilst they 
 are vtry negligent in other respects, which are 
 more essential to that virtue. To Europeans the 
 appearance of their faces, and particularly the part 
 that is usually concealed, is no way interesting. — 
 Their complexion is dark; their eyes, in general, 
 are inflamed; and their cheeks and chins are 
 marked with the figures of half moons, stars, &c. 
 in the way that our sailors mark themselves. 
 
 In some of the towns, girls, 14 years old, were 
 seen going to the river for water, in a state of 
 complete nudity; and males ot all ages were seen 
 mixed together in groupes, in the same state, 
 without any sense of shame. They anoint their 
 bodies with olive oil, which prevents the sun from 
 blistering the skin. There are no stools or chair3 
 for sitting upon in Egypt; their common way of 
 sitting is upon the hams of their legs, in which 
 posture they will remain for hours, apparently as 
 much at their ease as a European upon a chair; 
 they eat their meals in a reclining posture, but 
 make no use pt knives, forks or spoons; when they 
 sup they literally " dip their hand in the dish,"* 
 
 * Matthew xxvi. 23. , 
 
171 
 
 and feed themselves with their fingers in place of 
 spoons. Tiie above customs were practised in 
 the time of Christ, and still exists through the d.st. 
 
 There are numbers of mosques, or Mahomedan 
 churches, in the towns. They have , in genera], a 
 particular kind of spires, called minarets, some of 
 which are very lofty: they are in shape at the top 
 like an onion, but have no weathercocks, nor clocks, 
 nor bells; of which latter, the Mahomedan religion 
 prohibits the use. The minarets have all one or 
 more balustrades round them, into which a man 
 ascends at the end of every watch, and walks 
 round, calling the people to pravers with as loud a 
 voice as he possibly can. In Egypt it is common- 
 ly a blind man who performs this office. 
 
 The uninterrupted sunshine at Cairo, afforded 
 the French the means of partly supplying the want 
 of clocks and bells, by ascertaining exactly when 
 it was twelve o'clock They mounted one of the 
 guns in the citadel upon a peculiar construction, 
 and put some fine brass work at the breech, in 
 which was a burning glass just over the touch 
 hole; J|y which the rays of the sun, the instant he 
 reached the meridian, kindled the powder and fir- 
 ed the gun. This is a proof that clouds and rain 
 are seldom seen at Cairo; otherwise the firing of 
 the gun couid not have been depended on. When 
 the French left the citadel, the Turks got posses- 
 sion of it; and some of them broke and stole the 
 brass work of this gun, supposing the polished me- 
 tal to be gold. 
 
 The heat of the country was very oppressive; 
 and the army that went to Cairo suffered much 
 
173 
 
 from it during their march. The perspiration 
 came through their clothes, and wetted their huff 
 belts opposite the back, just as if they had been 
 soaked in water, 
 
 About this time a very melancholy accident 
 happened to some men of the 13th regiment of 
 fqpt. Their regimental store house was in a build* 
 ing a few yards from the hospital; some of them 
 were employed sorting cartridges in a room on the 
 first floor, when one of them came in smokinr to- 
 bacco, and thoughtlessly held his head ovei an 
 open ch?st into which they were packing the car- 
 tridges; a spark fell from the pipe, and the pow- 
 der exploded and gave a violent shock to the hos- 
 pital and adjacent buildings; several men, and a 
 Serjeant's wife, were killed in the house, and I 
 think nine or ten more were much bruised and 
 dreadfully burned, and were brought into the hos- 
 pital; their condition was more pitiful than that 
 of those who were severely wounded, because so 
 much of the skin of the face and body had been 
 burned, that they had not sound skin left to lie 
 upon; five or six of them lingered about a i&eek in 
 great agony, and died. I think that twelve or 
 sixteen were killed or severely injured by this ac- 
 cident. Some who were sitting in the bottom of 
 an open window, with their legs ever the wall, 
 were blown down into the street, but were not 
 much hurt. 
 
 Towards the end of September, my wound was 
 nearly whole, but my leg was very much con- 
 tracted. I was ordered to prepare to join my regi- 
 ment at Alexandria to go home with it. But be- 
 
173 
 
 fore taking a final leave of the hospitals, I would 
 make a few further remarks upon the manner in 
 which I saw my fellow creatures depart this life. 
 And it must be confessed, that to all appearance 
 many of them died hardy; they might groan through 
 extremity of bodily pain, hut did not exhibit any 
 anguish of mind at the fear of death or judgment; 
 but I could not discern any rational ground lor this 
 apparent want of anxiety about futurity. To 
 make a merit ol meeting death bravely, when it 
 can not be avoided, is but a poor reason for a ra- 
 tional, immortal, and accountable creature, to act 
 upon. If man is a sinner, and must render an 
 account to his Maker when he dies, surely to mani- 
 fest no concern about the issue of death, is not to 
 act the part worthy of a rational creature To 
 shut out all concern about eternity, in order to act 
 the hero at the last, is liker the conduct of a blind 
 madman than a true hero; for true courage in the 
 hour of death can only be founded on the know- 
 ledge of our being happier hereafter: and this per- 
 suasion is only to be attained, by the reception of 
 the good news of salvation by Jesus Cbrist, re- 
 vealed in the Scriptures. Infidelity has said much 
 against the superstition o! the Bible; but while it 
 does this, it gives an accountable creature nothing 
 in the room ot it upon which to found a reasonable 
 hope tor eternity. Infidels have olten said that 
 the fears of bell which make men afraid to die, 
 are the produce of superstition. Were there none 
 of those whom 1 saw die, who had freed themselves 
 ol the fears produced by the Bible account of a fu- 
 ture state? It is likely that some of them had; for 
 15* 
 
174 
 
 their previous habits and behaviour were as op- 
 posite to the Scriptures, as if they had never heard 
 of such a hook; and it was as little talked of, as 
 if it had never existed. If infidelity be true, the 
 death of its disciples ought to be more dignified 
 and composed than that of any others: their future 
 prospects ought to be the most certain, intelligent, 
 and cheering to the immortal soul, when it is about 
 to take its flight into the world of spirits and re- 
 turn to God who gave it. A dying infidel, if his 
 system be truth, should be one that should rejoice 
 in death, that he had freed himself from the fears 
 produced by the Bible; he ought to be able to di- 
 rect those around his dying bed to the truth that 
 supports his mind, and show, at the same time, 
 that he has a proper discernment of his own con- 
 dition as an accountable creature, and suitable 
 conceptions of the moral character of his Maker 
 and Judge. But of all that I ever saw die, I ne- 
 ver heard any rejoicing in the assertions of infide- 
 lity: I saw many die apparently hardy; but their 
 deaths resembled more that of the beasts that per- 
 ish, than of accountable immortal creatures. I 
 have since seen Christians die, but the manner of 
 their death was very different: their conceptions of 
 the majesty and holy purity of God were exalted; 
 their sense of the evil of their own sins, and the 
 moral responsibility of their conduct, was deep; 
 but with all this full in their view, they had good 
 hope through trusting in Christ; and I never yet 
 saw or heard of a dying Christian who regretted 
 that he had truste.j too much to Christ, or thought 
 too highly of him; but the contrary, I have often 
 
175 
 
 heard them regret deeply that they had thought too 
 lowly of him, and of what he had done to save 
 sinners, and had trusted too little to him, and de- 
 pended too little on the promises of the Bible; and 
 I have heard them pray earnestly for forgiveness for 
 this, as being the most heinous of all their sins. — 
 Reader, if ever your mind has been stumbled by 
 the arguments of infidelity, try it by this test, — 
 what provision does it make for eternity, to a sin- 
 .ful and accountable creature; and you will find 
 that in this most important of all other concerns it 
 makes no provision whatever: it is revelation 
 alone that either does or can make any provision 
 for a certain ground of hope for futurity. God 
 alone can tell how he will forgive sin: he has 
 done this in the Scriptures, and there alone. O 
 be sure you examine what is revealed in them up- 
 on this subject, and build your hope for eternity 
 only upon what God has revealed to a sinner to 
 trust in, that you may not die in despair, nor be 
 deluded by a false hope, and finally be disap- 
 pointed: and for this purpose, I earnestly entreat 
 your serious consideration of what is said towards 
 the conclusion of this narrative. 
 
 Before leaving the hospital, I feel bound ingra- 
 titude to acknowledge the care and attention that 
 was paid to the sick and wounded: all things con- 
 sidered, every thing was done for them that could 
 be done, and much expense was incurred for 
 medicines, attendance, and accommodation, and 
 every exertion made to procure suitable provisions. 
 When I think upon it to this day, I feel grateful 
 for the care that was taken of the helpless, and 
 
176 
 
 those who were rendered unfit to serve their coun- 
 try any longer: by this means many were pre- 
 server! to their families and their friends, who 
 otherwise would never have returned. 
 
 On the 29th September, I embarked in a Germ 
 on the Nile, which dropped down the river, and 
 lay near the entrance, to be ready to pass the bar 
 early in tie morning, that being the most favoura- 
 ble time; lor the wind rises at sun rise, and 
 blows from the sea up the river during the day, 
 with a stead;,, and sometimes strong breeze, and 
 dies away in the evening. Vessels going up the 
 Nile e^rry a press of sail, and go at a great rate 
 during the day, and stop at night: vessels going 
 down the river lower their sails and yards, lay 
 their broadside to the stream, and drift along with 
 it. On the morning ol the 30th, tbe wind and 
 surf were so high, that it was unsafe to attempt 
 passing the bar; so that we returned to Rosetta 
 and lay tt the quay three days, waiting for mode- 
 rate weather. The Nile was still considerably 
 above its banks: the extensive fields of rice, and 
 corn, particularly on the east side, excited my ad- 
 miration. The seed had been sown previously 
 to the inundation, and had taken root and grown 
 up with the rise of the water; which made it to 
 have, a eompnet and level surface, resembling that 
 of a bowling-green, tor many miles. This erop 
 would be ripe, by the time the inundation would 
 fail within the banks of the river; and another crop 
 of wheat or barley, and one ot clover or vegetables, 
 would be produced before the return of the inun- 
 dation next year. — Water is raised by buffaloes and 
 
177 
 
 #xen from the river, into the canals;* the beds of 
 which are above the level of the country. It is 
 let out into the fields during the growth of the 
 other two crops; and when the last one is reaped, 
 this l.tbour is suspended. Then the heat of the 
 sun soon dries the ground, and rends it into nu- 
 merous and deep fissures; some of them are from 
 ten to twenty feet deep. The army experienc- 
 ed considerable difficulty from this cause, on its 
 
 * I saw the buffaloes at Ibis employment, when I sailed 
 up the river, on the 24th June, when coming to tipsetta. 
 The buffalo is much larger than the ox; his bones are un- 
 commonly large, even in comparison to the size of his body, 
 which is very lean; his strength must be much greater i ban 
 that of the ox. When he walks, he carries his head like 
 the camel, his "nose being nearly as high is his horns, and 
 is on the whole a very dull looking animal; but, notwith- 
 standing, he is capable of being trained to this work, as 
 well, if not better, than the ox* for 1 saw them keeping a 
 slow but steady pace at their work, without the immediate 
 presence of a driver. The water is raised by a wheel, 
 upon which buckets or earthen pitchers are fastened. 
 
 Since the publication of the first edition, I have seen the 
 5th vol. of Dr. Clarke's Travels in Egypt; and as his know- 
 ledge is more extensive than mine, I takt- th< liberty of 
 inserting an extract, upon the produce and manner of cul- 
 tivating the Delta. Speaking of the method of watering 
 the ground, he says, " The land thus watered, products 
 three crops in each year; the first of clover, the second of 
 corn, and the third of rice. The rice grounds are inun- 
 dated, from the time of sowing nearly to harvest. The 
 seed is commonly cast upon the water, a practice twice 
 alluded to in sacred Scripture. Balaam prophesied of 
 Israel, Numb. xxiv. 7, that " his seed should be in many 
 waters." In the directions given for charity, by the son of 
 David, it is written, Ecoles. xi. 1. " Cast thy bread (i. e. 
 bread corn) upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after 
 many days" When the rice plants ire about two feet 
 high they are transplanted.— -Vol. v\ pp. 47, 48. 
 
178 
 
 march back from Cairo; particularly at night, 
 when both men and horses were in danger of hav- 
 ing their legs broke by falling into them. 
 
 While I lay at the quay, I was astonished at the 
 great number of boats discharging cargoes of grain, 
 which was piled in huge heaps in the open air, 
 not far from the brink of the river;* a sight which 
 reminded one of the words of Jacob, u I have 
 heard that there is corn in Egypt." But, with all 
 this plenty, it is a miserable place. The common 
 people enjoy little of its abundance; their condition 
 is the most wretched I ever saw or heard of among 
 civilized nations. The houses of the peasantry 
 are mere hovels, little if any thing better than the 
 Kraals of the wild Hottentots.f The inhabitants 
 
 * The grain was measured by an Arab into baskets, 
 which were curried to the heap by others, upon their 
 shoulders. The measurer accompanied his work with a 
 song indicative of ihe quantity he put into each hasket. 
 The owner stood upon ihe quay and received a beau or 
 pf-H from the carriers as they passed by him to the heap; 
 and diis was the method by which he kept an account of 
 the quantity landed. 
 
 ■f I saw the exterior of some of these houses on the banks 
 of the Nile, but never had an opportunity of seeing their 
 interior. Sir R. Wilson says, in vol. i. pp. 156, 167, "All 
 language is insufficient to give a just idea of the misery of 
 an Egyptian village; but those who have been in Ireland, 
 may best suppose the degree, when an Irish hut is de- 
 scribed as a palace, in comparison to an Arab's stye; for it 
 can be called by no other name. Each habitation is built of 
 mud, even the roof, an resembles in shape an oven: with- 
 in is only one apartment, generally of about ten feet square. 
 The door does not admit of a man's entering upright; hut, 
 as the bottom is dug out about two feet, when in the room 
 an erect posture is possible. A mat, some large vessels to 
 hold water, which is the constant occupation of the women 
 
179 
 
 of the land of Egypt, which was the house of 
 bondage to the children of Israel, now suffer 
 bondage in their own land, little, if at all, interior 
 to that which their ancestors made the Israelites 
 suffer. The government has for a long time been 
 in the hands of Turks or Mamelukes, who are 
 always foreigners, and who rule with rigour; and 
 the inhabitants never take any interest in the 
 affairs of the government, but are entirely passive 
 to every change that takes place. The country- 
 abounds with Arabs. The Copts, its original in- 
 habitants, are the fewest in number; they profess 
 Christianity, and are the more liable, on that ac- 
 count, to be oppressed by their Mahomedan mas- 
 ters. The prediction is now fully verified, that 
 Egypt, once the first of nations, should become the 
 basest of kingdoms: Ezek. xxix. 15, 16. It is 
 sunk so low in ignorance and wretchedness, that, 
 if it were not for the many elegant ancf stupendous 
 remains of antiquity existing in the country, the 
 voice of history, strong as it is, could scarcely be 
 credited, that it was once the first of nations, and 
 the seat of the arts and sciences. It is a land of 
 pestilence and disease. " In Cairo, last year, forty 
 a thousand were supposed to be infected with the 
 " plague: and many of the French garrison died 
 u in that city, although the disease was treated in 
 
 to fetch; a pitcher made of fine porous clay, found best in 
 Upper Egypt, near Cunti, and in which the water is kept 
 very cool; a rice pan and coffee pot, are all the ornaments 
 and utensils. Here, then, a whole family eat and sleep 
 without any consideration of decency or cleanliness; being-, 
 in regard to the latter, worse even than the beasts of the 
 field, which naturally respect their own tenements. 
 
ISO 
 
 " their hospitals with the greatest ability. In 
 " Upper Egypt sixty thousand perished during the 
 w same season, 1 '* besides those who died of it in 
 other parts of the country. Among the British, the 
 plague was confined to the " hospital and troops 
 " stationary at Ahoukir, where it broke out on the 
 " 12th April, and terminated on the 26th August. 
 " Three hundred and eighty, in the course of that 
 " time, were affected with it; one hundred and 
 <v seventy-three died, and two hundred and seven 
 " recovered. The deaths chiefly fell on the order- 
 " lies, nurses, and other servants of the hospitals.! 
 "The plague raged again at Rosetta towards the 
 " fall of the year and numbers of the Sepoys died 
 " of it."$ When a person is infected with the 
 pestilence, after the manner of Egypt, (Amos iv. 
 10,) the disease is indicated by two biles which 
 are commonly in the groin. In addition to the 
 plague, '« Ltprosy of the worst species, and Ele- 
 ". phantiasis, which swells the legs larger than a 
 " common bolster," and a number of other dis- 
 eases are very general. " The number of blind is 
 " prodigious, nearly every fifth inhabitant has lost 
 " one eye, and many both. All the children have 
 w sore eyes, and Europeans do not escape better. 
 " The French at first had more than two thirds of 
 tfc their army affected with this malady; and the 
 tl English, during their short stay, had one hundred 
 u and sixty totally blind, and two hundred that 
 " lost one eye irrecoverably.''^ How many more 
 were affected with this dreadful malady among 
 
 * SirU Wilson's History, vol. ii.p. 116. 
 t Ibid. pp. 115, 132. * Ibid. p. 119. § Ibid. p. 121. 
 
181 
 
 the troops that remained in the country until the 
 following year, when it was wholly evacuated, I 
 can not tell; but have reason to believe the num- 
 ber was considerable. Children must suffer much 
 during their infancy from the flies, because they 
 are unable to drive them from their eyes. I saw 
 a woman going to the Nile for water, which she 
 carried in a pitcher upon her head: a naked child 
 sat across her shoulders; its little hands were em- 
 ployed in holding by the head of its- mother, to 
 prevent itself from tailing; its eye-lashes were 
 literally black with flies that were sucking at its 
 eyes, as they would do at sugar. They work 
 themselves into the inner coating of the eyelids of 
 infants, which no doubt causes some of them to 
 lose their sight in their tender years. In addition 
 to flies, gnats and musquitoes, all other kinds of 
 vermin are incredibly numerous and troublesome; 
 so much, so, that, although there were nothing else 
 but them, they would make Egypt an uncomfort- 
 able country to live in. Although the French used 
 all the freedom of conquerors, they were perfectly 
 sick of it. When we landed, they supposed, tfratj 
 after we had expelled them, we intended to retain 
 possession of it; and they sincerely pitied the lot 
 of their supposed successors. They fought, indeed, 
 bravely; but it was not out of love to the country, 
 but in subordination to military discipline, and for 
 the honour of their arms; but when compelled to 
 surrender on condition of being sent home to 
 France, they rejoiced in the event as a happy de- 
 liverance. Ami indeed it was no wonder; 'or, in 
 addition to the disagreeable nature of the climate, 
 1G 
 
182 
 
 many of the military posts where they did duty, 
 being in lonely sandy deserts, were so ill accom- 
 modated, and in all respects so uncomfortable, that 
 to do service at them was fitter for being a punish- 
 ment to men banished for their crimes, than for 
 those who deserved well of their country. 
 
 Dr. Clarke sailed up the Nile on the 10th of 
 August, 1801, when the river was beginning to 
 overflow the country. The following extract cor- 
 roborates all that I had heard related by my com- 
 rades, after they had returned from Cairo, and is 
 so interesting, that it will gratify such readers as 
 have not access to his work. After passing Rach- 
 manie, he says, " Villages in an almost uninter- 
 " rupted succession, denoted a much greater popu- 
 a lation than we had imagined this country to 
 " contain. Upon each side of the river, as far as 
 " the eye could reach, we saw fields of corn and 
 u rice, with such beautiful groves, seeming to rise 
 " out of the watery plains, and to shade innume- 
 " rable settlements in the Delta^ amidst never- 
 " ending plantations of melons, and all kinds of 
 " garden vegetables, that, from the abundance of 
 " its harvests, Egypt might be deemed the richest 
 " country in the world. Such is the picture ex- 
 " hibited to the native inhabitants, who are sea- 
 " soned to withstand the disorders of the country, 
 " and can bear with indifference the attacks of 
 " myriads of all sorts of noxious animals; to whom 
 " mud and musquitoes, or dust and vermin, are 
 u alike indifferent; who, having never experienced 
 " one comfortable feeling in the midst of their 
 a highest enjoyments, nor a single antidote to sor- 
 
183 
 
 " row in the deplbs of their wretchedness, vege- 
 " tate, like the bananas and sycamores around 
 " them. But strangers, and especially the in- 
 " habitants of Northern countries, where whole- 
 c * some air and cleanliness are among the neces- 
 u saries of life, must consider Egypt as the most 
 " detestable region upon earth. Upon the retiring 
 " of the Nile, the country is one vast swamp. 
 " The atmosphere is impregnated with every 
 " putrid and offensive exhalation, then stagnates, 
 " like the filthy pools over which it broods. Then, 
 u too, the plague regularly begins; nor ceases, until 
 " the waters return again.* Throughout the 
 " spring, intermitting fevers universally prevail. 
 u About the beginning of May, certain winds cover 
 " even the sands of the desert with the most dis- 
 " gusting vermin f The latest descendants of 
 
 * " General Le Grange assured us, when on board the 
 " Braakel, thai the ravages in the French army, caused by 
 " the plague, during the month of April, at one time, 
 " amounted to an hundred men in a single dav." 
 
 ■f- " Sir Sidney Smith informed the author (Dr. Clarke) 
 " that one night, preferring a bed upon the sand of the 
 *' desert to a night's lodging in the village of Etko, as 
 " thinking he should be more secure from vermin, he 
 " found himself, in the morning, entirely covered by them. 
 " Lice and scorpions abound in all the sandy desert near 
 " Alexandria." One of my comrades informed me, that 
 when some of the date trees were split at Aboxikir, for 
 making the hospital, there were so many lice in the hearts 
 of them that they might have been gathered in handfuls. 
 The frogs also were so abundant at some of the places 
 where the army halted between Rosetta and Curo, that it 
 was not possible to get at the water in the river without 
 treading upon them; and at one place, the camp ground 
 was literally covered with black beetles, to the no small 
 annoyance of the soldiers in the tents, and the bed frames 
 
184 
 
 " Pharaoh are not yet delivered from the evils 
 " which fell upon the land, when it was smitten 
 " by the hands of Moses and Aaron; the k plague 
 " of frogs,' the l plague of lice,' the l plague of 
 " flies,' the f murrain, biles, and blains,' prevail 
 u so, that the whole country is c corrupted,' and 
 u l the dust of the earth becomes lice, upon man and 
 " upon beast, throughout the land of Egypt .' This 
 " application of the words of sacred Scripture 
 " affords a literal statement of existing evils, such 
 " au one as the statistics of the country do now 
 <c warrant. Jn its justification, an appeal may be 
 <l made to the testimony of all those who have re- 
 " sidt-d in the country during the very opposite 
 " seasons of its prosperity and privation; during 
 " the inundation, and when the flood has retired, 
 " or before it takes place, in the beginning of the 
 " year. At the period of the overflow, persons 
 " who drink the water become subject to a dis- 
 " ord< r called c prickly lieat:' > this often terminates 
 " in thost dreadful wounds alluded to in the sacred 
 " writings, bv the words * biles and blains.'' During 
 " the months of June, July, and August, many in- 
 " dividuals are deprived of sight, owing to a dis- 
 " order of the eyes peculiar to this country. -Ew- 
 " ropeans, having no other name for it, have called 
 " it ophthalmia, from the organs it affects. There 
 u was hardly an individual who did not suffer, 
 " more or less, the consequences of this painful 
 *' malady. At this season, also, the dysentery be- 
 
 and mats that we got nsw in the hospital in Rost-tta in 
 the end of June, were so full of bugs by the end of Sep- 
 tember, that they were fit only to be burnt. 
 
185 
 
 a gins to number its victims; and although some 
 " be fortunate enough to escape the worst effects 
 " of this disorder, it proves fatal in many io- 
 " stances."* 
 
 Dr. Clarke's account of what he experienced at 
 Cairo, in the middle of August, is also interesting: 
 u The mercury in Fahrenheit's thermometer seem- 
 " ed at this time fixed. It remained at 90° for 
 " several days, without the smallest perceptible 
 " change. Almost every European suffered from 
 " inflammation of the eyes. Many were troubled 
 " with cutaneous disorders. The prickly heat 
 " was very common. This was attributed to 
 a drinking the muddy water of the Nile, the in- 
 " habitants having no other. Their mode of 
 " purifying it, in a certain degree, is by rubbing 
 " the inside of the water vessel with bruised 
 a almonds: this precipitates a portion of the mud, 
 " but it is never quite clear. Many persons were 
 " afflicted with sores upon the skin, which were 
 u called ' biles of the .MZe;' and dysenterical com- 
 u plaints were universal. A singular species of 
 " lizard made its appearance in every chamber, 
 " having circular membranes at the extremity of 
 " its feet, which gave it such tenacity, that it 
 4t walked upon window-panes of glass, or upon 
 " the surfaces of pendent mirrors.f This revolting 
 " sight was common to every apartment, whether 
 
 * Clarke's Travels, vol. v. pp. 56, 59. 
 
 f " A similar membrane terminates each foot of a com- 
 " mon fly: beneath which a vacuum takes place, and the 
 " animal maintains a footing upon ceiling's, owing to the 
 " pressure of the external air upon this membrane." 
 
 16* 
 
186 
 
 4 in the houses of the rich or of the poor. At the 
 4 same time, such a plague of Hies covered all 
 4 things with their swarms, that it was impossible 
 4 to eat without hiring persons to stand by every 
 4 table with feathers, or flappers, to drive them 
 4 away. Liquor could not be poured into a glass; 
 4 the mode of drinking was by keeping the mouth 
 4 of every bottle covered until the moment it was 
 4 applied to the lips: and instantly covering it 
 i with the palm of the hand, when removing it to 
 4 offer to any one else, The utmost attention to 
 1 cleanliness, by a frequent change of every arti- 
 4 cle of wearing apparel, could not repel the at- 
 4 tacks of vermin which seemed to infest even 
 4 the air of the place. A gentleman made his 
 4 appearance before a party he had invited to 
 4 dinner, with lice swarming upon his clothes. 
 4 The only explanation he could give as to the 
 4 cause, was, that he had sat for a short time in 
 1 one of the boat* upon the canal. Perhaps ob- 
 4 jeetion may be made to a statement even of 
 4 facts, which refers to no pleasing theme; but 
 4 the author does not conceive it possible to give 
 4 Englishmen a correct notion of the trials to 
 4 which they will be exposed in visiting this coun- 
 c try, without calling some things by their proper 
 4 names."* 
 
 Before losing sight of the contest that was in 
 Egypt, it may not be amiss to glance at the un- 
 avoidable evils of war. With the inhabitants we 
 had no quarrel: our sole object was to expel the 
 
 • Clarke's Travels, vol. v. pp. 78, 80. 
 
187 
 
 French. But this could not be done, without the 
 peaceful inhabitants receiving, in many cases, 
 serious injury. The roads from town to town did 
 not suit the march of the army to and from Cairo; 
 the troops generally took the direct road through 
 the corn -fields, and their encampments were some- 
 times in fields of corn, tobacco, poppies, sego, 
 melons, indigo, &c. the produce ot which, how- 
 ever valuable, was destroyed. Fuel was scarce; 
 and the soldiers were necessitated to use what- 
 ever would burn. Stalks of tobacco, bean straw, 
 and such like substances, were used to boil the 
 kettles;* and in places where dry straw was diffi- 
 cult to be had, it was necessary to place guards at 
 the entrances to the neighbouring villages or towns, 
 to prevent the soldiers from unroofing the houses 
 for wood to make fuel: and With all the attention 
 of the officers, such was the necessity of the case, 
 that injury could not always be prevented. 
 
 The discipline of the army was strict, and the 
 general behaviour of the troops good; but many 
 instances of petty depredations and pilfering took 
 place, that were not known, and could not be pre- 
 vented. Many instances occurred of inhabitants, 
 particularly Arabs, who sold bread, fruit, eggs, &c. 
 having their articles taken from them by " fellows 
 of the baser sort," without any payment, and 
 sometimes with abuse into the bargain. The 
 Arabs when so used would throw dust upon their 
 heads, and call upon God, and the Prophet, and 
 
 * When their rations happened to be salt pork, they 
 used to put a piece of it under the kettle to burn with the 
 straw. 
 
188 
 
 the Sultan. But as this usage was not general, 
 and as the army spent a considerable sum of good 
 money among them,* they were not deterred from 
 following it with whatever they had to sell, and I 
 believe many of them made more money at that 
 time, than ever they had an opportunity of doing 
 before or since. On the afternoon of the 2d Octo- 
 ber, we again left Rosetta, and lay for the night 
 near the mouth of the river. The wind was 
 moderate next morning; we passed the bar safely: 
 had a pleasant voyage across the bay of Aboukir, 
 and through Lake Maadie; passed through the cut 
 in the banks of the canal of Alexandria into Lake 
 Mareotis,f and landed not far from the place 
 
 * With the exception of gold, which was in the hands 
 of a few, the coin circulating in Egypt was made of base 
 metal, watered over with silver; and was of little or no in- 
 trinsic value. There were large pieces of this kind, some 
 of them larger than a crown, which were of different 
 values: but a small coin, called a para, about the breadth 
 of a farthing, and no thicker than the scale of a fish, was 
 the most common; of which 120, and in some places 160, 
 were given for a Spanish dollar. The money expended 
 by the army was gold and Spanish dollars. 
 
 f The inundation in this lake extended farther than the 
 eye could reach. The banks of the canal formed a road 
 for communicating with the interior of the country; a 
 bridge of boats united the banks, one of the boats being 
 moveable, for the purpose of allowing vessels to pass in 
 and out of Lake Mareotis. Before the army wholly left 
 the country, the boats forming the bridge were sunk in 
 the cut, and served for a foundation upon which the banks 
 were rebuilt. When the British took Alexandria, in March, 
 1807, a detachment was sent to take Rosetta; but they 
 were repulsed by those Turks who had accompanied the 
 army on its march to and from Cairo, and who had acquir- 
 ed a considerable portion of British discipline. The rays 
 ©f the sun had by this time so far dried up the salt water 
 
189 
 
 where the battle of the 21st of March was fought, 
 of which I had thus another view, and which I 
 never can forget. I joined the regiment on the 
 heights of Alexandria; we embarked next day at 
 Aboukir, on board of two frigates; sailed on the 
 morning of the 7th October; and lost sight of the 
 celebrated land of Egypt by 12 o'clock. None 
 regretted this. We indeed regretted our country- 
 men and comrades, who had found a grave there; 
 but the country itself had no charms to make us 
 regret leaving it. All our thoughts were now fixed 
 upon home; and we rejoiced to think, that every 
 day was bringing us nearer it. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 After a pleasant passage, having light winds and 
 fine weather, we arrived at Malta on the 23d Octo- 
 ber. Here our joy was wonderfully heightened 
 by the news of peace. The news had come from 
 France, but they were credit worthy. The only 
 cause of regret was, that such an important and 
 strongly fortified place as M:dta, where we now 
 lay, was to be given up. We did not leave Malta 
 until the 26th November, at which delay the sol- 
 diers were vexed; but the naval officers were no 
 way anxious to get home, because they knew that 
 
 in Lake Mareotis as to render it passable-, but the British 
 again cut the banks of the canal, and admit led the sea into 
 it, to protect Alexandria from being attacked by the 
 Turks. 
 
190 
 
 the ship would be paid off, and they would then 
 Jose their situations. Our own officers were ap- 
 prehensive that the regiment might be reduced, 
 which would put them on half pay; but the men 
 rejoiced in the prospect.* We had a tedious pas- 
 sage clown the Mediterranean, and did not arrive 
 at Gibraltar until the 20th December. We left 
 it on the 1st January, 1802, and arrived at the 
 Cove of Cork on the 23d, having had rough 
 weather all the way, which on two occasions in- 
 creased to a tempest, and did the ship I was in 
 considerable damage. We had to ride quarantine 
 until the 9th February. My leg had stretched 
 considerably during the passage, and I walked 
 about the deck with the help of a stick. The 
 regiment landed, and marched into Cork on the 
 12th, the wounded and baggage being conveyed 
 by water. And here I found that, although I could 
 safely walk about with a stick on the level deck 
 of a ship, my leg was not sufficiently strong to 
 travel the necessary distances on land. My wound 
 here broke out again; and when the regiment left 
 Cork for Kilkenny, although I rode upon the bag- 
 gage, yet the travelling from the places where the 
 baggage lulted to my billet, which was sometimes 
 more than a mile, was injurious to me. We came 
 to Kilkenny on the 21st, and lay in it about six 
 weeks. The regiment was inspected by the 
 General and Surgeon of the district, and a great 
 number ordered to be discharged, of which 1 was 
 one. 
 
 * The short duration of the peace, however, prevented 
 tbe fulfilment of it. 
 
iiU 
 
 My conduct in Kilkenny was not what it ought 
 to have been; not that I fell into open gross sin, 
 but I did not improve my mercies as I ought, and 
 was guilty of what I disallowed in my own con- 
 science, and felt my weakness and inability to 
 overcome the inward workings of corruption. I 
 here bought Young's Night Thoughts, that by 
 reading it, I might fortify my mind against temp- 
 tation. I placed great confidence in the power of 
 the poet's language; but it had not the effect I 
 wished and expected. I was one evening at the 
 Methodist chapel; but I did not pay that attention 
 to the Sabbath which I might have done. The 
 regiment left Kilkenny, and marched tor Belfast; 
 and when we came to Dublin, the discharged men 
 that were recommended to the benefit of Chelsea 
 Hospital, embarked for Liverpool, from which we 
 proceeded to London; where I was examined and 
 admitted an out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital, on 
 the 27th May, 1802. I left London on the 29th, 
 and took a passage in one of the Carron Com- 
 pany's brigs; landed at Queensferry on the 12th 
 of June, and arrived in Glasgow next day, happy 
 to find myself restored to my friends. — My wound 
 was still open; 1 might have gone into York Hos- 
 pital in London, and been cured, previously to 
 being discharged; and had I been wise, I should 
 have done this: but I was so anxious to be home, 
 that I did not do it, for fear it might delay me 
 some time. 
 
 My military life being now terminated, I desire 
 to bless God, with a grateful heart, for his good- 
 ness and care over me while in the army, in a 
 
19& 
 
 particular not before referred to. For during the 
 six years that I was a soldier, I was never confined 
 for any fault. My conduct was, in general, good, 
 in a military point of view; but there were times 
 that I was guilty of faults, tor which I might have 
 been punished, and which I have reason to thank 
 God for escaping. And what is a little singular, 
 I was never concerned in any court martial case, 
 nor so much as a witness against any man; on the 
 whole, I passed comparatively easy and quietly 
 through the army, and without doubt, the remain- 
 ing restraints of early and religious instruction was 
 one particular mean of preserving me from many 
 evils and dangers; and in this respect proved an 
 invaluable blessing to me, while I was a soldier. 
 I mention this particular to show what good early 
 religious instruction may do, although it may not 
 have the effect of converting the soul. 
 
 I had now attained my wishes, by being safely 
 settled at home. God had given me the desire of 
 my heart. If I did not now find ability to keep 
 the commandments of God, in the way that I pro- 
 posed to myself, and upon which I founded my 
 hope of meriting and enjoying his favour, I could 
 not expect to find any situation more favourable. 
 I called to mind all the promises I had made, and 
 reflected on all the deliverances God had gracious- 
 ly given me, and the gratitude that was due to him 
 for them. Circumstances led me to attend Mr. 
 Ewing's ministry at the Tabernacle; but, although 
 I attended divine ordinances, and read religious 
 books, I was not a whit the better. I had also 
 considerable opportunity of being alone; but where 
 
193 
 
 I thought I would be strongest, there I found I 
 was weakest; and, when removed from outward 
 temptation, inward corruption increased, and baf- 
 fled my utmost efforts. The more I strove to keep 
 my own heart and life from sin, the more sin 
 triumphed over me. I found, in my experience, 
 that 1 was a slave to sin; tor what I set myself to 
 overcome, overcame me. At the same time, the 
 spirituality of God's law increasingly opened on 
 my mind; I daily saw more of the extent of the 
 work I had assigned to myself to perform, in order 
 to obtain the favour of God; and found that my 
 practice, in place of getting nearer, was getting 
 farther from it. When I looked back on the mer- 
 cies I had received, and the promises and resolu- 
 tions I had made, I saw that I had all along been 
 mocking God, having never fulfilled any of them. 
 This broke my peace 'of mind; I became more 
 subject to the terrors of the law than I had ever 
 been; my conscience accused me of the blackest 
 ingratitude; I had no refuge to fly to; my sins be- 
 came too heavy for me; the justice of God stared 
 me in the face; and now I saw that I was a con- 
 demned criminal. I gave over all hope of obtain- 
 ing the favour of God by my own doings; I 
 resolved to mock him with no more promises of 
 amendment of life; I confessed that hell wwswhat 
 I deserved; that the law which condemned me 
 was just: and, when I did this, the importance of 
 being delivered from such a dreadful situation was 
 increasingly impressed upon my mind: but how to 
 obtain tliat deliverance I could not tell. I saw by 
 the Scriptures, that "unless a man be born again, 
 17 
 
194 
 
 lie can not enter Into the kingdom of God," and 
 that no unholy being shall enter heaven. I prayed 
 earnestly for the new heart and the right spirit, but 
 did not correctly understand in what this change 
 consisted. I passed a considerable time subject to 
 sharp conflicts in my mind, during which, the 
 stings of conscience and the terrors of the law 
 were beyond description: but all was kept within 
 my own breast, without being discerned by any 
 one. My leg continued bad until the beginning 
 of 1803, when I confined myself to bed for some 
 weeks, and had the pleasure once more of seeing 
 it heal. I felt thankful to God for this new mercy; 
 but it added fresh torment to my mind, for it fur- 
 nished my conscience with new matter of accusa- 
 tion. In perusing Boston's u Fourfold State,- ' I 
 was startled at reading how the branches are 
 taken out of the natural stock. I saw my own 
 case pretty fully described; but as I did not under- 
 stand what it was to be " apprehended of Christ," 
 and united to the vine, it only increased my un- 
 easiness. I also heard a man in conversation in 
 my company declare, that, before a sinner can be 
 brought to God, the same power behooved to be 
 exerted that converted the apostle Paul. I did not 
 assent to what he said, because I did not believe 
 it; but I marked the saying. I became increas- 
 ingly uneasy; I had no peace in my mind; eternity 
 was before me; I was without hope, and knew not 
 how to obtain it. " What" said I, " shall become 
 oj me!" I was agitated almost to despair; all that 
 prevented me from falling into it was the con- 
 sideration that I was yet in life, and that God had 
 
ID j 
 
 not forbidden me to cry for mercy: and for mercy 
 I did cry, if peradventure I might find it. 
 
 My leg now threatened to break out again. — 
 This alarmed me more, and it prevented me from 
 going, as I had done, to the Tabernacle. The 
 forenoon of the second Sabbath after Albion-street 
 chapel was opened, I passed solitary at home; but 
 I was in a most painful state of mind, of which 
 the agitations can nto be described. My convic- 
 tions of sin were so sharp as to drive me into a 
 state, which, if it was not absolute despair, could 
 hardly be distinguished from it. I could not bear 
 my own presence, and became afraid to be alone. 
 " What shall become of me!" was the unremitting 
 thought of my agitated soul. It at length drove 
 me to my knees; where, with tears, I confessed my 
 sins to God without reserve or palliation; fully 
 acknowledged the righteousness and justice of his 
 law; disclaimed all merit of my own; confessed 
 that I never had any, nor any ability to obtain it; 
 that I was totally unable to do any thing to pro- 
 cure his favour, or to recompense him for it, should 
 be bestow it; and that if I was saved from end- 
 less wo, it would be, because he would have 
 mercy on me, out of his own sovereign pleasure, 
 and not on account of any merit of mine. I cast 
 myself upon his pure mercy, and confessed that if 
 there was not pure mercy for sinners, I could have 
 no hope. — When I arose from my knees, it was 
 near the time of the afternoon's service. I felt 
 quite uneasy at home. I thought I would venture 
 as far as to Albion street chapel, because it was at 
 no great distance, and because J had heard my 
 
19(3 
 
 father speaking favourably of you as a preacher. I 
 was the more disposed too to go there, because I 
 knew you were in connexion with Mr. Evving, of 
 whom I had formed a favourable opinion. When I 
 got to the chapel, I was all attention. When you 
 prayed, I endeavoured to pray also. But nothing 
 particularly arFectev? me, until you gave out your 
 text, 1 Cor ii. 2. " For I determined not to know 
 anv thing among you, save Jesus Christ and him 
 crucified." — I was struck with the text, and be- 
 came anxiously attentive, to see if I could catch 
 any thing from the discourse which was to follow, 
 that could give ease to my troubled mind. You 
 bad preached from it the preceding sabbath, and 
 having recapitulated what you bad gone over, you 
 proceeded to the remainder of the subject; the 
 tenor of which was, the nature of the work that 
 Christ had accomplished in the room of sinners, for 
 their salvation. As you proceeded, I thought I be- 
 gan to discern something I had not seen before. — 
 But when you proved from the Scriptures, that the 
 work which Christ had finished on mount Calvary, 
 was of itself sufficient to save sinners, and that God 
 had accepted his work as satisfactory to him; that, 
 therefore, the work of Chirst being perfect, no- 
 thing could be added to it; that it was impious to 
 attempt to add any thing to it, and that sinners 
 ought to rest satisfied with that which God had 
 declared was satisfactory to him, seeing he knew 
 best what was necessary to satisfy his justice, and 
 to secure his own honour in pardoning sinners; that 
 no good works were required of the sinner by God, 
 as the ground of his acceptance with him, either in 
 
497 
 
 whole or in part, but that it was the merit of the 
 work of Christ alone, that justified sinners in the 
 sight of a holy God, and that all the praise of their 
 salvation belonged to Christ, and to the grace of 
 God in him; and that sinners should believe this 
 doctrine as good news, and put their trust in it for 
 the salvation they needed.— - You I think spoke al- 
 so of the effect which the faith of this doctrine had 
 on all them that believed it, in leading them to 
 love God, and to keep his commandments. I was 
 greatly enlightened by the whole discourse; but 
 my mind particularly catched the words, that the 
 work of Christ was of itself perfect; that nothing 
 could be taken from it, or added to it; and that it 
 was impious to attempt to add any thing to it. — 
 This doctrine appeared new to me. I thought I 
 had never heard it before. I left the chapel when 
 the service was over, repeating to myself the 
 words, " The work of Christ is perfect, sufficient of 
 itself to save a sinner;'''' and, as I repeated it, I said, 
 u This is good news if it be true." Another 
 thought now started into my mind: — If it be true 
 that nothing can be added to it, and that it is im- 
 pious to attempt it, how guilty have I been!"- — My 
 whole train of repentances, promises, resolutions, 
 and attempted reformations, has not only been sin- 
 ful in the sight of God, on account of their failures, 
 but have been impious acts of rebellion; not on 
 account of my endeavouring to forsake sin, and to 
 cultivate holiness, but on account of the motive 
 that produced them, which was a desire to work 
 out a righteousness of my own, to the rejecting of 
 the righteousness of Christ; placing my works on 
 17* 
 
198 
 
 a level with his, nay, above bis; seeking to merit 
 God's favour by my own doings; and when doubt- 
 ing of their complete sufficiency, having recourse 
 to the merits of* Christ, merely to make up the de- 
 ficiency of mine; and even this, not from volun- 
 tary choice, but from a feeling of necessity. This 
 was a new source of guilt to my conscience, which 
 bad never burdened it before. I began to ap- 
 prehend I had been guilty of the sin of unbelief, 
 so often spoken of in the Scriptures, and so strong- 
 ly condemned. But while my conscience accused 
 me of this, a gleam of hope dawned on my soul, 
 by ruminating on the sufficiency of the work of 
 Christ; and the more I pondered on the subject, 
 my hope increased, and the more my hope increas- 
 ed, the stronger my sense of the sin of unbelief 
 grew. These two things kept pace with one ano- 
 ther: and while hope cheered my heart, this new 
 sense of guilt made me humble. I did not think 
 less of the guilt of my other sins; but this sin seem- 
 ed to outweigh them all, so that I became increas- 
 ingly vile in my own sight. 
 
 I read the Scriptures, with prayer to God for 
 light and direction, that I might truly judge the 
 doctrine I had been hearing, and not be led astray 
 by that which was not his own truth. I com- 
 pared scripture with scripture; and I now found 
 the very great benefit of being acquainted with the 
 letter of the Bible, and of having much of it on my 
 memory. My meditations were greatly assisted 
 by what was stored in it; for when employed at 
 my work, I often recollected passages, and com- 
 pared them together. All the drift of my thoughts, 
 
109 
 
 was to find if there was evidence of the sufficiency 
 of the work of Christ, for a sinner's salvation; and 
 in many of these passages I found such evidence: 
 they appeared to me in a new light; and the sense 
 was so obvious, that I wondered how I had not 
 seen it before. This new discernment gradually 
 increased; and, as my wound did not break out, I 
 continued to attend Mr. Ewing's ministry, and 
 was growing in knowledge by means of his ser- 
 mons. One of them was particularly blessed to 
 me. It was an evening sermon from Matth. iii. 
 3 7. "And lo, a voice from heaven, which said, 
 This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleas- 
 ed." The moment the text was read, I catched the 
 words, u in whom I am well pleased" I saw them, 
 as containing a proof of God's satisfaction in the 
 Work of his Son on the behalf of sinners; I fol- 
 lowed the preacher through the discourse, and 
 was at no loss to comprehend his meaning; the 
 doctrine was plain and evident to me. I had still, 
 however, some perplexity in my mind, about the 
 nature of the good works to be performed after 
 believing But this was removed by a sermon 
 from Mr. Greig* from Heb. iii. 14. u For we are 
 made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning 
 of our confidence steadfast unto the end." My 
 mind now became decided; I saw that if a sinner 
 had Christ, he had all. I was sweetly constrain- 
 ed to give myself wholly up to him; to be content 
 to be saved by his merits, to the entire and eternal 
 exclusion of my own; to place my hope of ac- 
 
 * Then assistant to Mr. Ewihg; now minister of the con- 
 gregation in Crown Court, London. 
 
200 
 
 ceptance with God, both now and hereafter, solely 
 upon his perfect righteousness, and complete 
 atonement; and to commit mj polluted soul to the 
 gracious influence of his Spirit, that he might so 
 apply the blood of Christ, as to " purge it from 
 dead works, to serve the living God." I now saw 
 that deliverance from sin itself, was a part of the 
 salvation of Christ: and I was led to trust in him 
 for sanctification, as well as for righteousness and 
 redemption. I now understood clearly what had 
 puzzled me, when I read the book on Content- 
 ment, in Athlone. I was no longer at a loss to 
 understand what it was to be willing to do all 
 things for Christ, and to be willing to deny all 
 things for Christ. I saw that Christ is his people's 
 strength; that the power which enables them to 
 perform duty, to resist temptation, and to over- 
 come their spiritual enemies, is wholly derived 
 from him; that therefore when they conquer their 
 enemies, and bring forth the fruits of righteousness, 
 the glory of the conquest belongs to him through 
 whose strength they have been performed. I 
 therefore esteem it my high privilege as well as 
 duty, to " count all things but loss for the excel- 
 lency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord; 
 for whom" I trust I have, in a measure, been 
 made willing to " suffer the loss of all things, and 
 to count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 
 and be found in him, not having mine own righte- 
 ousness which is of the law, but that which is 
 through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which 
 is of God by faith." Phil. iii. 9, 10. 
 
 My next concern was ? about the question, — 
 
201 
 
 What is the proper form of church government? — I 
 had been made a little acquainted with the claims ot 
 Episcopacy, and they perplexed me a good deal. 
 Upon the general question, my stock of information 
 was small. This much I knew, that all parties refer- 
 red a good deal to the Acts of the Apostles, for proofs 
 of their respective opinions; and, as Mr. Ewing had 
 commenced a course of lectures upon that book, I 
 hoped to obtain such information, as should enable 
 me to come to a determination in my own mind. 
 I continued to hear him with a good deal of inter- 
 est, until he had gone through the fifteenth chapter. 
 I then embraced his opinions on that subject; and 7 
 feeling the want of Christian fellowship, I deter- 
 mined to make present conviction the rule of pre- 
 sent duty; and seeing that it was the will of 
 Christ that his people should be united together in 
 fellowship, I resolved to apply to Mr. Ewing, for 
 admission to the church under his care. Being at 
 a loss from my ignorance of the mode of applica- 
 tion, and entire want of acquaintance with any of 
 the members of his church, I wrote him a letter. 
 This introduced me to a conversation, with which 
 he was satisfied, cad my case was to be mention- 
 ed to the church at their next meeting. I had no 
 sooner returned home, however, than the words of 
 Jesus, John iv. 36. "And he that reapeth re- 
 ceiveth wages, and gatbereth fruit unto life eter- 
 nal; that both he that soweth and he that reapeth 
 may rejoice together,*' occurred to my mind. — 
 This led me to remember you, my dear Sir, through 
 whom I had received the knowledge of the truth, 
 and to consider whether there was not a propriety, 
 if not a duty, rather to apply to the church under 
 
203 
 
 your care, for admission, than to Mr. Swing's. I 
 determined to consider this point, and wrote to 
 Mr. Ewing, requesting him to delay mentioning my 
 case to his churchy as something had occurred to 
 my mind, which it appeared to be my duty pre- 
 viously to consider, but as soon as I should come to 
 a determination I should let him know. I then 
 attended your preaching, to see whether it would 
 be as beneficial to me as Mr. "Ewing's. You were 
 then lecturing in the forenoons through the 1st 
 Epistle of John. As I was but a babe in Christ, 
 doctrinal subjects were what I stood most in need 
 of. I found myself edified by your discourses, and 
 I felt an increasing attachment to you as my spirit- 
 ual father; and, as we were of one mind on mat- 
 ters of church order, it appeared clearly to be my 
 duty to seek for admission into your church. Every 
 tie of spiritual affection seemed to require it. You 
 had, through the blessing of the great Head of the 
 church, sowed to me the words of eternal life: I, 
 through his blessing, had reaped them; and, as 
 there was no obstacle betwixt us, love said it was 
 most proper, that he that sowed and he that reap- 
 ed should rejoice together; For where should a 
 convert to the truth seek to be, but under the care 
 of the instrument that converted him? There must 
 be a peculiarity of affection, betwixt a spiritual 
 father and his children, beyond that of others 
 placed under his care and instruction. This pe- 
 culiar affection had now begun to operate in my 
 mind; for at first I had been so much taken up 
 with the discovery of the truth itself, that I had 
 paid little attention to the instruments who preach- 
 ed it; but I now found leisure to give them a place, 
 
203 
 
 in their various degrees, in my affections, without 
 losing any regard for the truth, or for its great 
 Author and object, Jesus Christ, the Chief Shep« 
 herd of the sheep. In order therefore to strengthen 
 your hands in the work of an under shepherd, as 
 well as for my own benefit, I drew up a summary 
 narrative of my life and experience, and of the way 
 in which it had pleased the Lord to lead me to a 
 knowledge of his precious truth, and sent it to Mr. 
 Ewing, with the reasons why 1 thought it my duty 
 to apply for admission to your church. These 
 reasons Mr. Ewing approved of; he gave you 
 that narrative to introduce me to you; and I was 
 soon favoured with being admitted under your 
 pastoral care. The narrative is now greatly en- 
 larged; but before bringing it to a close I wish to 
 make a few general remarks. 
 
 I would begin with stating, that the belief ot 
 that doctrine which gave peace to my troubled con- 
 science, gave also a degree of stability to my 
 conduct, such as I had never before been able, 
 with my utmost efforts, to attain. Not but that I 
 Lave still to lament, that sin dwells in me; but, 
 by the grace of God, it does not reign over me, as 
 formerly; and the less I think of myself, and the 
 lower I estimate my own strength, and the more 
 I trust to the gracious promise of imparted strength, 
 from the compassionate and all powerful Redeemer, 
 the stronger I am. Whilst 1 rejoice in the pos- 
 session of the new man, I have still to mourn the 
 existence of the old; I find in my experience in- 
 creasing evidence of the deceitfuiness and desperate 
 wickedness of the heart, and see increasing reason, 
 
204 
 
 to be vile in my own eyes, and to pray continually 
 " God be merciful to me a sinner," but I trust in 
 his grace, that he will w fulfil in me all the good 
 pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith 
 with power," and u preserve me by his power, 
 through faith unto salvation," enabling me to 
 maintain the war of the spirit against the flesh, 
 until I get a complete and eternal victory. 
 
 And here I must express my gratitude to God, 
 for the benefit of Christian fellowship, and of pas- 
 toral care and instructions. It is now about six- 
 teen years since I first heard you preach, and 
 became a member of the church under your mi- 
 nistry. We have had our trials, to exercise our 
 forbearance and patience; but we have also had 
 our comforts. I still love the brethren, and while 
 I say, " Grace be to all them who love our Lord 
 Jesus Christ in sincerity," I wish for no other fel- 
 lowship; and while I love all who preach Christ 
 crucified, as the only ground of a sinner's accep- 
 tance with a holy God, yet I desire no other teacher 
 than he who first turned my wandering feet into 
 the way that leadeth to life. Your instructions 
 and warnings have, I trust, enabled me to keep in 
 that way with my face Zionward. May the Lord 
 grant, that we may continue to walk together, and 
 be, in our respective stations, comforts to each 
 other on the road, until we arrive at the heavenly 
 Jerusalem; — and there may I be one of those, 
 who shall be to you, " a crown of joy and rejoic- 
 ing in the presence of the Lord!" There may we 
 rejoice together, in the rich mercy of the great 
 Redeemer, and give him all the praise, for convert- 
 
205 
 
 ing and preserving grace, both in the convert and 
 in him who was the instrument of his conversion; 
 and may you have many more in whom to rejoice, 
 besides the subject of this narrative! I thank God 
 for the success with which he has been pleased to 
 bless your labours. There are not a few, who 
 now sit under your ministry, who have received 
 the knowledge of the truth by means of your 
 preaching; and others, I believe, have joined the 
 church above. May the Lord grant you increas- 
 ing success in turning sinners to God, and in edi- 
 fying saints; may he bless the labours of all his 
 servauts and people; and may his own word have 
 free course and be glorified, by the overturning of 
 the kingdom of sin and of Satan in the world; and 
 may the " kingdoms of this world soon become the 
 kingdoms of our Lord and of his Christ." Amen. 
 I remain, Dear Pastor, 
 Your Affectionate Son 
 
 In the Faith of the Gospel, 
 G.B 
 
 GLASGOW, January, 1819. 
 To the Rev. Ralph Waudlaw, 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 
 Having now finished my narrative, may I take 
 the liberty of adding a few reflections, with a view 
 to direct the minds of those who may read it, to 
 the lessons I should wish them to learn from it. 
 18 
 
206 
 
 There are two things which are conspicuous in 
 it; the first is, a sinner's weakness; the second is, 
 a sinner's blindness. — It shows how long and how 
 often I attempted to cleanse my own heart. I made 
 the effort under all the variety of circumstances I 
 have mentioned, but all in vain. I acted under 
 all the motives I could collect from a sense of the 
 glory, goodness, justice, and general mercy of God, 
 as displayed in the works of creation and provi- 
 dence; and also from what I had learned from the 
 Bible of the requirements of the moral law, which 
 was often like a fire in my conscience; and from 
 a fear of hell and eternal judgment, and a desire 
 of heaven and eternal life; and from a sense of 
 mercy to myself in being so often protected when 
 in imminent danger, delivered out of trouble, and 
 brought back from the very jaws of death in an- 
 swer to my prayers for mercy: — yet all these put 
 together were insufficient to keep me from break- 
 ing the commandments of God, and being guilty 
 of what I condemned in my own conscience. — 
 And thus it will be with every sinner, that sets 
 himself to perform the same task. I do not refer 
 to my experience, as an exclusive proof of this; 
 but I refer to it as an instance of the truth of God's 
 word, which declares that sinners are " without 
 strength" Rom. v. 6. Let any sinner undertake 
 the same task, and I can assure him from the word 
 of God, that he will come no better speed. He 
 may attempt it again and again; but every new 
 attempt will only show his weakness and blind- 
 ness; and, as he proceeds, he will find that he was 
 not aware of the ten thousandth part of the extent 
 
207 
 
 and difficulty of the task. If he persevere in it, 
 he will find it necessary, after endeavouring to re- 
 form his outward conduct, to look within* and there 
 he will discover work he was not at first aware of. 
 He will find it absolutely indispensable to watch 
 over his heart if he means to reform external con- 
 duct: for it is the heart that first yields to tempta- 
 tion. And, let his resolutions be ever so strong, 
 and his intentions ever so sincere, he will find that 
 the slightest temptations are sufficient to overcome 
 him. Nor will he be in danger from outward 
 temptatious only; for although be were in the re- 
 tirement of a hermit, and totally secluded from the 
 world, he would find temptations to sin rising spon- 
 taneously out oi that very heart which had formed 
 the resolution not to commit it; he would find 
 himself led like a captive to the commission of it, 
 and that in the face of the clear light of duty, and 
 in spite of the strongest remonstrances of con- 
 science; thus giving him the most convincing 
 evidence, if he had eyes to see it, that u the 
 heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately 
 wicked;" (Jer. xvii. 9.) that " he that commit- 
 teth sin is the servant (or slave) of sin;" ( John viii. 
 34,) and that " he that trusteth in his own heart is 
 a fool." (Prov. xxviii. 26.) So long, however, as 
 a sinner has any confidence in his own strength, he 
 will not renounce it, in order to depend upon 
 strength to be imparted from another. So long as he 
 fancies any merit in his own works, he will trust to 
 them to procure his Maker's favour. But in this he 
 only -shows his blindness that I could convince 
 any into whose hands this narrative may fall, to re- 
 
Bounce, as entirely hopeless, all such efforts; and also 
 as entirely worthless, all such attempted reforma- 
 tions; and to flee to the all-mighty and all-merito- 
 rious Redeemer! You need his perfect righteousness 
 to justify you, and his blood to atone for your sins; 
 you need the gracious influences of his Spirit to 
 purify your hearts, and to give you strength to 
 walk in the ways of God; for the motive to obe- 
 dience that alone can enable you to walk with 
 steadfastness and consistency arises out of the be- 
 lief of the love of Christ, in giving himself a ran- 
 som for the guilty. The belief of this will inspire 
 you with love to him in return; and this, ana this 
 alone, will set your souls at liberty from the slave- 
 ry of sin. It is to those who believe the love that 
 he manifested in ireely giving himself a sacrifice 
 for them, that he imparts strength to resist tempta- 
 tion; and he warns all his disciples, that "without 
 him they can do nothing." He has promised his 
 grace as sufficient for them that trust in him in the 
 most trying situations, and to perfect his strength 
 in their weakness: — nor is this an empty promise; 
 for he, to whom it was more immediately address- 
 ed, declared, that " he could do all things through 
 Christ who strengthened him;*' and the way in 
 which he obtained the power was, by being con- 
 scious of his own weakness, and trusting entirely 
 to the promised strength of the Saviour; " for," 
 says he, " when I am weak then am I strong ." 2 
 Cor. xii. 7 — 10, with Phil. iv. 13 — Go you and 
 do as he did; and you will find that Christ will 
 be the same to you that he was to him, for the 
 
209 
 
 Saviour is unchangeable; " tlie same yesterday, 
 and to day, and for ever" Heb. xiii. 8. 
 
 I have been minute in detailing the exercises of 
 my mind, much more so than some may think 
 there is need for. I have been induced to this in 
 order to show how long and how strenuously a 
 sinner may go on in that course, although his efforts 
 are constantly failing; and fail they must, so long 
 as his hopes terminate on himself, and so long as 
 he refuses to put his entire confidence in the Sa- 
 viour. He may give over the task in despair, and 
 sink into carelessness and indifference; but if, 
 whilst he finds his hopes of himself fruitless, he is 
 still convinced of the importance and necessity of 
 the salvation of his soul, and feels that he is one 
 ready to perish; then the news of a Saviour will 
 be glad tidings to him indeed; and with the death 
 of his legal hopes a life of evangelical obedience 
 will commence. I have been induced to be minute, 
 from a desire to show to others the folly of con- 
 tinuing to labour in the fire, as I did, for very 
 vanity; and that they may see the necessity of 
 fleeing directly to the Saviour. If you are saved 
 at all you must do this at the last; and why not 
 to-day as well as to-morrow, or any future period? 
 Jesus says, u To-day if ye will hear my voice, 
 harden not your hearts:" he says, u Come unto 
 me, ail ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I 
 will give you rest." And why will ye not hear 
 his voice, and accept of his invitation to-day? If 
 you reject him to-day, you may not live till to- 
 morrow. All the offers of the gospel are present 
 offers; there is no promise respecting to-morrow, 
 18* 
 
210 
 
 Jesus is as able to-day as to-morrow. He offers 
 himself to-day. His salvation is a present salva- 
 tion. " Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, 
 now is the day of salvation." 
 
 If any read this narrative who are putting off the 
 concerns of their immortal souls to a death-bed, 
 and are deluding themselves with the notion, that 
 the distress of a sick-bed and the fear of death 
 will break the power of sin in their hearts, and that 
 they will then repent and believe; while you think 
 this, you show that you do not know what repent- 
 ance and faith are; for, did you know what they 
 are, you would already have repented and believed. 
 You can not know them until you are in actual 
 possession of them. Your conduct is, therefore, 
 ignorant and presumptuous. Faith and repentance 
 are present duties; and if you will not repent of 
 your sins noio, and believe in the Lord Jesus 
 Christ for salvation, what security have you that you 
 will do so hereafter? you may be brought to a sick- 
 bed; and there the approach of death, and the fear 
 of hell, and remorse of conscience, arising out of 
 convictions of sin, may greatly alarm you; but this 
 will not change your heart, nor save your soul. 
 Such a state of mind is neither repentance nor 
 conversion. How often was I in danger, and 
 imagined I repented; and, wheu I was at the point 
 of death, I thought I had repented in truth. But 
 my conduct after I had recovered showed that I 
 had deceived myself; and had I died in the state 
 I then was in, I must have perished. When you 
 are laid on a sick-bed, you may find that you have 
 no hope of heaven if you die at present; you may 
 
811 
 
 wish to recover, that you may change your con- 
 duct; you may cry to God to spare you; but he 
 may not hear you; and when you see that death is 
 actually approaching, you may be driven to de- 
 spair, and die without hope: or, in order to Calm 
 a troubled conscience, you may persuade your- 
 selves, that you have repented, and that, as you 
 are not allowed to live, God will accept of the 
 sincerity of your repentance; and you may thus 
 u go down to the grave with a lie in your right 
 hand." But if you despise the offer of a Saviour 
 now, and put off these things to a death-bed, 
 which many never see, but are called suddenly 
 out of the world, the probability is, that when you 
 are actually laid upon it, however old you may be, 
 and however evident the approach of your latter 
 end may be to all who see you, you will not think 
 you are going to die yet, but will still indulge the 
 hope of longer life; — until death lays his cold 
 hand on your heart, and closes your eyes for ever 
 on a present world. 
 
 Should this narrative fall into the hands of any 
 who are in the army, I would earnestly entreat 
 them to lay the contents of ite seriously to heart, 
 and to beware of the delusive idea that it is not 
 needful to be religious in the army. Although you 
 are soldiers, you are still surely under the govern- 
 ment of your Creator. Your being in the army 
 will not excuse the sins you commit in it. There 
 is no article of war that commands you to swear, 
 or to get drunk, or to be guilty of uncleanness, or 
 any other sin. There is no order that prohibits 
 you from repenting of your sins, and believing on 
 
the Lord Jesus Christ for the salvation of pur in- 
 valuable souls, and living a life of faith upon the 
 Son of God; so that you are without excuse. Your 
 being in the army does not give you a greater 
 security of long life to be an excuse for delay. On 
 the contrary, you, above all men, ought to secure 
 the salvation of your immortal souls. And blessed 
 be God, that salvation is offered as freely to you 
 as to others. Jesus, the King of kings, offers you 
 his free and unmerited favour, in the same way 
 that he does toothers; and makes you as welcome. 
 Your souls are as precious to him, as those of any 
 of the human race: so that you are without excuse, 
 Beware of another delusion; — that the army is a 
 place in which it is impossible to live a godly life. 
 This is not true. However hard it is, yet it is 
 possible, and has been done. If indeed you at- 
 tempt to live a godly life in your own strength, as 
 I did, you will fail; but remember, so would you 
 in any situation in which you could be placed. 
 But if you believe in the Lord Jesus, and take 
 him for u righteousness and strength" he will fulfil 
 to you his promise, that M as your day is, so shall 
 your strength be." Remember that the way that 
 Jeadeth to eternal life is a narrow way to all; and 
 that the same grace which enables others to travel 
 that narrow way is sufficient to enable you to 
 travel it also; and that the same power which 
 brings others safely through, is able to carry you 
 also in safety to the end of the journey. Remem- 
 ber that it is the power of God and not of man 
 that enables any to persevere unto the end; and 
 will you say that it is not in the power of the 
 
213 
 
 Almighty to enable a soldier to serve him in the 
 army, and to lead a Christian life in it? The idea 
 is blasphemous; it is a delusion of Satan; and it 
 is an unjust charge upon the army, bad as it is, 
 and one of the greatest obstacles, if not the very 
 greatest, to its moral improvement; for it goes to 
 prevent the very attempt at improvement, as utterly 
 hopeless, and consequently to leave the individuals 
 who compose it to be confirmed in all their evil 
 habits. If any soldier read this, let me beseech 
 him to lay seriously to heart the immense value of 
 his soul, and to believe in the grace and power of 
 a Redeemer, and, although there should not be 
 one godly person in his regiment, let him not be 
 afraid to believe in Jesus, and to regulate his con- 
 duct by his word. Do not be afraid of the mock- 
 ing of your comrades: it is indeed not easy to 
 bear; but if you really trust in Christ, he will 
 enable you to live down their reproaches by a 
 consistent and steady course of lite. Their re- 
 proaches are not to be put in comparison with his 
 smiles; and if the King of kings smiles upon you, 
 what need you care who frowns? It will become 
 you rather to pity, than to be offended at them. 
 Seek, by constant prayer, for that prudence and 
 wisdom which will enable you so to act as to put 
 to silence their foolish scoffings; and, if you perse- 
 vere, you will extort from them so much com- 
 mendation as will repay you for all the reproaches 
 you have borne, or may still be subject to. But 
 let your faitli be constant and your practice per- 
 severing. Do not take up religion by fits and 
 starts. Those who do so show that they have not 
 
214 
 
 yet understood what it is. Unless your repentance 
 be that of the Bible, and your faith in Jesus 
 genuine, arising from a scriptural understanding 
 of your own character as a guilty and helpless 
 sinner in the sight of God, and a scriptural dis- 
 cernment of the rich grace and almighty power of 
 Christ, you will not be able to stand: for the army 
 is not a place for hypocrites, formalists, and self- 
 righteous professors, to prosper in. The profes- 
 sions of such will generally vanish like smoke. 
 The genuine believer in Jesus alone is able to 
 abide the trial; and he stands, because he is 
 upheld by the power of God through faith unto 
 salvation. Therefore, let no soldier neglect his 
 salvation, through fear that the temptations of the 
 army will be too much for him. Great as they 
 are, if he trusts in Christ, he shall be made " more 
 lhan a conqueror through him that loved him;" 
 and the more he can get his comrades to attend 
 to the same things, the temptations will diminish. 
 And the more the religion of J»sus prevails in the 
 army, and the greater the number of genuine dis- 
 ciples are in it, the greater improvement will be 
 made in its character, efficiency, and comfort. 
 
 I rejoice that the army is beginning to be more 
 attended to of late, in a religious point of view. I 
 rejoice to see Bible Societies in operation for the 
 benefit of the army and navy; and wish them an 
 increasing measure of success. The attention of 
 the religious world has not yet been sufficiently 
 drawn to the importance of the object. I hope 
 that the stimulus that has been put in motion will 
 continue to increase, and that a succession of pru= 
 
dent measures will be adopted for the promotion 
 of the fear of God in the army and navy. The 
 same means that are effectual for the attainment 
 of this great object amongst the other classes of 
 mankind will be effectual here. And what a 
 blessing would it be to the army and navy, were 
 the fear of God their prevailing character! How 
 would it promote subordination, peace, sobriety, 
 and chastity, and, in so doing, prevent the fre- 
 quency and necessity of punishments and rigorous 
 regulations, and the prevalence of those diseases 
 which break the constitutions of such numbers, 
 renders them non-effectives, and sends so many of 
 them to an early grave! — And how much benefit 
 would instantly accrue to society, in the reduction 
 of the contamination of profanity, intemperance, 
 and lewdness! How many female characters 
 would be preserved, and the consequent grief of 
 parents prevented! How much of the evil of prosti- 
 tution would it reduce, which is so dangerous to 
 youth in sea-port towns, and large cities! If my 
 feeble voice could be heard, I would add it to that 
 of those who have already appeared as advocates of 
 this cause, in supplicating British Christians to 
 prosecute this object with prudent but vigorous 
 perseverance. I rejoice to see a floating chapel 
 provided upon the Thames for the instruction of 
 seamen. This, I hope, will be followed by similar 
 measures wherever they are necessary. The wis- 
 dom that devised this, is competent to devise all 
 that is wanting for the prosecution of this great 
 cause, throughout the army and navy. And the 
 same motives are sufficient to carrv those emoark- 
 
216 
 
 ed in it forward with zeal until the fear of God 
 finally triumph. And its triumph in the army and 
 navy will remove one of the obstacles to its pre- 
 valence in the world. And who knows but that 
 genuine piety may not only prevail but even shine 
 most conspicuously in the army and navy, and that 
 the last may become first. 
 
 G.B. 
 
 THE END 
 
 \5 
 
 oi>. 
 
II 
 
 HI 
 
 020 662 051 1