"i i -i"j m"; i THE PK.^^P0BL1SHING COMPANY SHOEMAKER'S BEST SELECTIONS For Re&.dings and Recit&.tions Nos. I to 27 Now Issued Paper Binding, each number, • • • 3^ cents Cloth •• .... ... 50 cents Teachers, Readers, Students, and all persons who have had occasion to use books of this kind, concede this to be the best series of speakers published. The different numbers are compiled by leading elocution- ists of the country, who have exceptional facilities for securing selections, and whose judgment as to their merits is invaluable. No trouble or expense is spared to obtain the very best readings and recitations, and much material is used by special arrangement with other publishers, thus securing the best selections from such American authors as Longfellow, Holmes, Whittier, Lowell, Emerson, Alice and Phoebe Gary, Mrs. Stowe, and many others. The foremost Eng- lish authors are also represented, as well as the leading French and German writers. This series was formerly called *'The Elocution- ist's Annual," the first seventeen numbers being pub- lished under that title. While the primary purpose of these books is to supply the wants of the public reader and elocution- ist, nowhere else can be found such an attractive col- lection of interesting short stories for home reading. Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, or mailed upon receipt of price. The Penn Publishing Company 923 Arch Street, Philadelphia THE WHEATVILLE A Rural Political Play in Four Acts BY WARD MACAULEY Author of " EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL," "BACK TO THE COUNTRY STORE," etc PHILADELPHIA THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 1911 Copyright 1911 by The Penn Publishing Company The Wheatville Candidates CC1.D 25633 V The Wheatville Candidates CAST OF CHARACTERS Hon. Kentworth Howell . . Who knoivs the ropes Ezra Little A political novice Frank Lee Wright An editor C. A. Page Another Jeremy Lawson . , . . Postmaster and philosopher Harriet Lawson .... The sharer\>f his fortunes Edith Lawson A cause of dissensio?t KiB Lawson . A you/i^er brother Zeke Jones Half a deputy Jed Smith The other half Molly Hempstead A youthful enthusiast A. Frank Pryor . . An exemplar of practical politics Mrs. Jorkins ........ Who wants to vote Delegates, villagers ^ etc., as desired. Time of Playing : — Two hours and a half. STORY OF THE PLAY Kentworth Howell, candidate for state senator from the Wheatfield district, expects an overwhelming victory. He also looks forward to an easy conquest of Edith, daughter of Postmaster Jeremy Lawson. To his surprise, Ezra Little, a young teacher and law student, who has been nominated against Howell for a joke, makes a strong campaign, both for the senatorship and the girl, and wins both. Act I. — In front of Wheatville post-office. The rival edit- ors quarrel over "an amicable understanding." "You've been elected three times before, Kent. It'll be a cinch." Kent proposes to Edith. " Just meditate over it." Jeremy, "mighty ambitious for my Edith," favors Kent. Jed and 4 SYNOPSIS Zeke plan to share Widow Jorkins' insurance money. Ezra and Edith. " Is there any hope for a country school-teacher with a few dreams? " Wright notifies Ezra of his nomina- tion. "Oh, they only put me up for a joke." Kent's friend laughs at *' the school-teacher pohtician." Ezra sur- prises them. *' Now I'm in the fight, I stay in." Act II. — Jeremy Lawson's house. Jeremy and Ezra. *' Ain't ye resigned yet, Ezry ? " Mr. Pryor shows Ezra some " practical politics." "I wouldn't touch your dirty schemes with a forty-foot pole." Edith asks Ezra not to urge an "eight-hour law." " Father says it will ruin the International Company. Our money's all in that." " Edith, if that bill is right I must vote for it." Jed Smith's queer parliamentary law. "I got the book right here." Kent and Edith. " I'm kind of sorry to beat the boy two ways at once." "Perhaps you won't." Act III. — Same scene as Act I. Jed is despondent. " We're licked, Kent." Molly hurrahs for Little, and Kent bribes her with candy. Ezra says he'll "win if he gets enough votes." Kent wants Edith's answer — " after the votes are counted." Jeremy thinks " pohtics is skittish as women." Ezra makes his speech. " A greenhorn can fight, and he has a vote." Kent's speech. "Leave it to me, and I'll take care of you." Ezra and Edith. "Remember, if I win ! " Act IV. Same as Act I. Jed and Zeke. "We want to break up a partnership." Jeremy tears up the contracts. "Five dollars apiece, please." Mrs. Jorkms asks Jed and Zeke to her wedding. Jeremy announces the returns. Jed bets Molly a cake of soap — the loser to eat the soap. Kent's triumph proves premature. Ezra and Edith. "Have I won the prize that only you can give, Edith ? " " You know you won it long ago." SYNOPSIS Act I. — Street in Wheatville, before the post-office, after- noon in September. Act II. — Mr. Lawson's home, evening, one week later. Act III. — Same as Act I — evening. Three weeks later. Act IV. — Same as Act I. Election night. 1 COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS Howell. A self-assertive, somewhat bombastic rural politician ; state senator for several terms. Should dress in very slightly pronounced manner. Should be played by a large man, made up to look forty to forty-five years old. Ezra. A slender man of twenty-five, of modest, retiring nature, but of forceful character and kindly humor. Should be quietly dressed. W PHT ) ^^^ editors. Both should be men along p ' y toward middle age, fairly well dressed. Busi- ) ness rivalry marks their relations. Lawson. Somewhat eccentric old man. Dressed rather carelessly. Sharp spoken and opinionative. Mrs. Lawson. Typical matron of fifty years. Rural costuuie not over-emphasized. (May double with Mrs. Jorkins.) Edith. A very pretty girl of twenty. Must be becom- ingly dressed in simple style. KiB. A mischievous boy of fourteen. Ordinary boy's costume, short trousers, etc. y ^ The comic rural young men. Both should wear -r ' ' |- pronounced country clothes. One should be •' ■ J stout and short, and the other tall and thin. Molly. A lively, attractive, tomboy-like girl of fifteen, dressed attractively. Should be almost constantly in motion. Pryor. An unprepossessing type of politician. Florid style of personal appearance, loud tie, large diamond, etc. Mrs. Jorkins. Severely plain woman of about forty, dressed in plain style. (May double with Mrs. Lawson.) Villagers and delegates should be dressed in the varying shades of country village style, but none should be portrayed farcically. PROPERTIES Howell. Act I. Money, suit-case, large card with words '' Howell for Senator," tacks, hammer, envelopes. Act IV. Note-book and pencil. Ezra. Act I. Small book. Act IT. Papers. Act IIL Manuscript. Act IV. Note-book and pencil. Page. Act I. Note-book and pencil, and same in Act III. Wright. Act I. Paper, Act III. Package of sheets of paper, supposed to be printed circulars. 5 SCENE PLOTS Lawson. Act 11. Newspaper, note-book, pencil. Act IV. Megaphone. Jed. Act II. Watch, book. Act III. Banner with words " Howell for Senator." Act IV. Folded paper, with writing and large seal, cake of soap. Zeke. Act IV. Folded paper, with writing and large seal. KiB. Act III. Mouth-organ. Act IV. Several slips of paper. Edith. Act II. Plate and towel. Act III. Purse con- taining coin. Molly. Act 1. Letter, paper bag of chocolates, law book wrapped in paper. Act III. Box of candy. Mrs. Jorkins. Act I. Two letters, umbrella. Act IV. Letter. Mrs. Lawson. Act II. Potatoes, bread, dishes, etc., for supper scene. SCENE PLOTS ACTS I, III, IV //yr£/f/Ofi BACffWC tVOOD o/i nooo Oft HOt/S£ HOU Scene. — Interior of Jeremy Lawson's house. Entrances c, L., and R. Large round table, c, with four chairs. Chairs down r. and l. Screen, with chair behind it, up r. Other furnishings to make a comfortable village " sitting- room." The Wheatville Candidates ACT I SCENE. — Street in Wheatville. Afternoon of a September day. Up c. should be represented the exterior of the post-office with a practicable entrance c. In front of the post~offt,ce are chairs, boxes, etc. Sign over post-office '^y. Lawson, Grocery, Post- Office, Etc.^^ The town hall in which the convention is being held is supposed to be near by, l., and cheering and hand-clapping should be heard intermittently throughout the act. The entrances are R. {down road^j l. (up road toward town hall^, and c. {into post-0 ffice~). (As the curtain rises, Frank Lee Wright and C. A. Page walk rapidly toward each other from opposite sides of the stage. Seeing each other, each takes a wide sweep to keep as far from the other as possible. After they pass y they turn and shake fists at one atiother.^ Page {pausing). Oh, I say, Wright. Wright {loftily). Sir, do you desire to converse with me? Page. What's the use of our being on the outs ? Why not come to an amicable understanding? Wright. That's what I say — an amicable understand- ing. I'm always strong for peace. Why, I believe in the disarmament of the nations. I Page. It's a fool idea. Nations — especially civilized nations — have got to build big navies and maintain big armies so as to make the other fellows behave, and I say that the bigger the array the more chance for peace, and anybody who contradicts that is a rattle-pated imbecile and Wright. If I had no more sense than to believe such rubbish, I'd keep still and not betray my ignorance. The 9 IQ THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES smallest boy in school knows that a great world-wide peace movement is on Page. It's got to be an armed peace, I tell you. Wright. You're wrong. Page. I'm right. Wright. I say you're wrong, and that settles it. Page. You don't settle anything, not even your bills. Wright. I'll settle you Page {belligerent attitude). Come on. Wright. I'll settle you by the peaceful method of supe- rior argument in my editorial column. You show your in- feriority by desiring to descend to brute force. Page. I can lick you, physically or mentally. Wright (jvalking off ^r.). Remember, sir, I shall chas- tise you severely in the pages of the Wheatville "Gazette." Page {as a parting shot). I don't care. Nobody reads it. .{Enter Hon. Kentworth Howell, l.) Howell. Hello, Page, what are you two argufying about ? Page. Oh, Wright and I came to an amicable under- standing again. Howell. Don't bother about him. Any man who'd write the political folderol he does has something lacking. {Shouts and applause are heard from the convention hall, L.) They're making enough racket over there. I suppose they think they can nominate a man who can lick me. Page. No, they don't figure on winning, I guess, but they've got to shout for their good old principles, as they call 'em. Howell. Principles? What good are principles if you don't get elected ? Say, Page, I missed you at our conven- tion. I had to do some of the slickest wire-pulling you ever saw to get the nomination on the first ballot. Page. I wish I could have come, but it was press day. Say, Kent {jerking thumb toward convention hall, 'L.,from which shouts and applause are being heard), whom do you suppose they'll put up to run against you? Howell. Some unwilling martyr, you may be sure. Why, Page, I don't care a bean, a liftle bit of an under> sized, shrivelled-up bean who they nominate. Getting nomi- nated doesn't admit a man to the pie counter unless he gets THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES II the biggest bunch of ballots on election day — and there's only one man going to be elected state senator from this neck o' the woods in the present year o' grace, and he goes by the name of Kent Howell to folks that know him real well. Page, You've been elected three times before, Kent. It'll be a cinch. Howell. If I didn't enjoy campaigning, I'd feel per- fectly safe in going off hunting till election. Page. I wish I was as sure of my circulation. Howell. You get all the government advertising in the county. That's enough for you. { Enter 1L\^ Lawson, l., excitedly.) KiB. Oh, Mr. Howell, I sneaked in at their old conven- tion, and I heard a man get up and say you were no more fit to go to Turnersport than a scarecrow. Howell (drily). I wonder how he found it out. KiB. 1 don't know, sir. Howell. Now look here, youngster, here's a nickel. {Hands coi?i.) Go back, and when that speaker you men- tioned concludes his peroration, you yell '' Hurrah for Howell!" Peroration's the correct thing in that place, eh. Page? (Page carefully examines a much-thumbed pocket dictio7iary.) Page. I can't find it, but I guess it's c'rect, though I usually leave off the per. Howell. Per must mean a couple, I guess. Howell {running l., excitedly). Hurrah for Howell ! Who'll be elected ? Howell, Howell ! Hurrah for Howell ! {Exit, L.) Page. It's lucky he's under age, Kent. You can't be indicted for bribing a voter. Howell. Trust me for that, Page. I wasn't born yester- day, nor last week, and I want to tell you confidentially that I'm pretty near next to the big chaps at Turnersport, and I wouldn't wonder if I'd be our next candidate for — {looking cautiously around and putti7ig finger io lips) sh — governor. Page. When you get there, Kent, I hope you'll remem- ber those who stood by you. 12 THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES Howell. See here, Page, understand me. Let this percolate into your think-case — percolate's the word, I guess. I'm a self-made man. What 1 aai I did myself — you catch that? Page. Oh, most assuredly, certainly, in fact, without a doubt; but {timidly) somebody had to vote for you. Howell. Sure. Folks recognize merit when they see it. 1 produce the merit. Consequentially, I go to Turn- ersport term after term. (Noise and applause from convention hall heard.') (Enter Kib, l., on the run^ somewhat the worse for wear.) Page. Hello! What's wrong, youngster? Kib (tearfully). I yelled ** Hurrah for Howell " up there, and look what they did to me. Howell. I don't seem to be exactly popular in that quarter. Page. Kib (shrewdly). Did you say a quarter, Mr. Howell? Howell (good-naturedly handing money). Sure, a quar- ter's none too much for what you've had done to you. (Exit Kib, r., whistling.) Page. I guess Til look in at the convention. They can't keep a newspaper man out. Howell. Keep me posted up to the minute. Page. Page. I thought you didn't care whom they put up. Howell. I just want to extend my sympathy to the victim and family, if any. Say, Page, of course this thing's k cinch, but just to make assurance doubly sure, I've fixed up a little scheme. Page. It's a good one, I bet. Howell. If I put it over, it's sure to be a good one. I'm going to help 'em choose a candidate — if things work out right. One of the delegates just happens to be a par- ticular friend of mine, and if it should come to a deadlock or they can't find anybody, he's going to propose — well, who do you think he is going to propose? Page, Somebody easy, of course. Howell. Well, I thought Ezra Little'd about fit. Nice fellow, all right, but a greenhorn at politics. Page. And a youngster I Say, 1 hope that scheme goes through. It will be soft. Well, 1 must be moving. THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES I3 i^Exif, L. Howell makes notes on the back of old en- velopes, etc.') {Enter Edith Lawson, r.) Howell {effusively'). My dear Miss Lawson, good- afternoon. Have a campaign card ? {Opens a sniall suit-case and exhibits a large card.) HOWELL FOR SENATOR Edith. I don't believe I have congratulated you on your nomination, have I? (Howell tacks the card on the front of the post-office.) Howell. A mere matter of form, Miss Lawson. Edith. Have you heard who is to run against you ? Howell. I don't care a bean — the smallest, measliest — excuse me, I meant to say that the choice of the opposition is of httle interest to me. Edith. You expect to win, then ? Howell. Sure, same as usual. Sun shines when it isn't cloudy, doesn't it? Well, I can't see a cloud on my p'litical horizon just at this precise juncture. Miss Lawson. Edith. It must be interesting to be up at Turnersport, making the laws of your native land. Howell. Making 'em and breaking 'em, eh? [Laiis^hs heartily. Edith looks up astonished.^ Oh, I'm an excep- tion, of course. And interesting? Well, it's got the most exciting novel I ever read beaten, I can tell you. Say, Miss Lawson, how'd you like to get a glimpse of it? Edith {eagerly). I'd love to. Father says he's going to take me up there some session. Howell. I was thinking I might take you up, Miss Lawson. Edith {demurely). That would hardly be proper, would it, Mr. Senator ? Howell. I guess it'd be O. K., if I slipped a little shiny band on your finger before we went. 14 THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES Edith. Gracious, I believe the man is proposing ! Howell. Your conjecture is correct, Miss Lavvson. In fact, you have hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I'm generally out 'n' out in politics, and I want you to know my platform on this love question. Every plank is Edith Law- son, and you can't beat it. Edith. But, Mr. Howell, I Howell. Yes, 1 know how it is. You know your an- swer, but you want time to think it over. 1 remember once a crowd of reformers asked me how I was going to vote on a temperance bill. I couldn't tell 'em till 1 found out what the rest was going to do, so 1 told 'em to give me time to consider. Edith I hardly Howell. Not another word. I know just how you feel — kind o' flustered, like a man making his first speech, but just meditate over it, and when you get good and ready, let me know if I may count on your support — 1 mean let me have your answer, which will be favorable, I hope and trust. Edith. 1 must be going. Mrs. Jones is expecting me. Howell. Of course you must. Don't blame you a bit. Good-bye, and don't forget what I told you — meditate. (^Exit Edith, l. Howell gazes after her.) As fine a girl as ever peeled a turnip. I guess my chances in that quarter are better than average. Yes, I guess 1 can concede my election. {Enter Page, l., excitedly, almost out of breath.) Bellows need repairing. Page ? Page. No, -but say Howell. What have they done? Page. They've nominated Squire Perkins. Howell (almost falling from his box). What ! Page. Yes, Squire Perkins on the third ballot. (Howell looks up in agony.) But the squire declined. Howell {reproachfully). How could you do it. Page, how could you? Wounding so tender a flower as my heart ! You know Perkins could get elected to anything since he gave the town that free hbrary. What are they doing now? Page. Well, they've nominated a half-dozen or so, and they've all refused it. Howell {pompously). None of 'em wants to waste money getting beat. It ought to be about time that Ezra's name should be mentioned, eh ? THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES I5 Page. They've named Jim Foster, a faraier over in Beanport, and they're 'phoning to find if he'll run. Just now they're fixing up the platform. It does everything to you except apply the tar and feathers. HoviTELL. I'm glad they showed me that much Christian charity. Say, Page, I've got a few notes here for you to use in your head-lines. (^Glajices at envelopes?) <* Kentworth Howell a Philanthropist." — " Howell Makes a Hit in Speech at Blueberry Junction." Page {writing in large note- book). When do you speak at Blueberry Junction ? Howell. Next week, Thursday. {Reads.) "Howell a Great Orator, a Credit to the District." — ** Howell a Sure Winner." By the way, Page, I wish you came out daily from now till election. Page. The Wheatville ''Press" has always appeared once a week, rain or shine, barring illness or death of pro- prietor, injury to the press or other catastrophe, and that makes yours truly work hard enough, thank you. {Enter Jeremy Lawson, l.) Howell. Been up to the convention? Lawson. Yes, they threw me out. I moved they indorse the Hon. Kent Howell, and they insinyated I weren't a delegate and suggested that I remove my obnoxious pres- ence forthwith. Page. Do you think Foster'U run ? Lawson. I know Foster, and he ain't clean crazy, and so I'm countin' he won't run. They're working on the platform now, and so far they've put worse things into it than you ever heard at a ladies' aid society. Howell. Preserve us ! Lawson. They're figuring on putting that fool eight- hour day proposition in. Howell. You don't fancy that much ? {Laughs. ) Lawson. About as much as the Hon. Kent Howell. Howell. I never b'lieved in interfering with business. Lawson. 'Specially when you've got your hard-earned savin's invested in stock o' the International Manufacturing Company Howell. Sh — ^just's well not to speak haphazard about private business, Jeremy. Lawson. A still tongue in a wise head, every time. l6 THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES Howell. Say, Jeremy, the president of the International loaned me a fine new automobile to use in the campaign. Lawson. They must want you to win. Howell. It'd be just as well, but o' course he knows I've got a cinch. Page. I must be moving along. I've got a paper to get out. Howell. Better send to the city for some three-inch letters for that head-line stuff. (^Exit Page, r.) Say, Jeremy, I'm no hand to sit on the dock a half hour before getting into the water. I've got both my eyes on your daughter — have had for some time, and if I can get her to look at it sensibly, I'd be willing to take her along to Turnersport this ■ winter. Lawson. I always was mighty ambitious for my Edith. Howell. Of course you were. What father would not be? She is the apple of your eye, your one ewe lamb, your- Lawson. Abbreviate it, Kent. You aren't making a speech. Howell {laughing). That's right, Jeremy. I want to ask you, man to man, do I get your support ? Lawson. I'd like mighty well to have Edith in the swim, as they say. Howell. Being state senator may not be as far up the ladder as I'll climb, either. Lawson {loudly). Now, if you was to be governor Howell. Sh Lawson. If you was governor, mebbe Mrs. Lawson and me might spend a week at the executive mansion, and Howell {doubtfully). I suppose so. Lawson {excitedly). Guess I can visit my own daugh- ter, can't I ? Howell. Why, certainly, I Lawson {jiot placated). Even if she is the governor's wife. Howell. " We can arrange that all O. K. - Lawson. Don't you forget I'm mighty ambitious for my Edith. She's turned down three Wheatville chaps already. Howell. You're ambitious, and you're shrewd, Jeremy. The best you ever did was to divide the job of deputy be- tween Jed and Zeke. Lawson. The government wouldn't allow a deputy to a THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES 1 7 peanut office like this, but I can hire 'em cheaper than if they were regular hired men. They've got to pay for the dignity of holding a government position. Howell. You've got an eye for business. Lawson. Yes, and I've got an eye for Edith. Howell. I'll be back when the convention has had time to do its worst. (^Exit, R.) (Lawson turns toward the post-office door and enters as Molly Hempstead and Ezra Little etiter l. Ezra has a small book?) Molly. What do they do at political conventions, Mr. Little? Ezra. Now, that's a pretty hard question, Molly. I have heard sometimes that there were queer doings at them. Molly (^persistent). But what are they doing at this one? Ezra. Their principal object is to find some one to run against Mr. Howell for state senator. Molly. Oh, I wish you would, Mr. Little, and I wish you'd beat him Ezra. Me? Why, I'm a school-teacher, not a states- man. Molly. I wish you'd do it, anyway. Ezra. It isn't for me to do, you know. That would be the delegates' work. But why do you wish that I would run, Molly? Molly. 'Cause I want you to beat him. He's after your girl, too. Ezra. My girl ? Molly. Why, yes, Edith Lawson. He's buzzing around her like a bee 'round a hive. Ezra. But Miss Lawson isn't my girl, Molly. Molly. You'd like her to be, wouldn't you ? Ezra. Now, look here, Molly.' (Molly laughs. They start into the post-office and meet Lawson at the door.^ Lawson. Just a minute, Ezry. Ezra. Certainly. Get my mail, too, will you, Molly ? l8 THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES (Molly enters the post-office and Ezra and Lawson come up stage.^ Lawson. Ezry, my daughter tells me you're coming up to the house to-morrow night. You were up a couple of weeks ago. Now I'm not objecting to friendly visits — not a bit, not a mite, providin' I'm sure they're not intended for anything else — catch the point? I'm ambitious for Edith. 1 expect her to shine in social circles some day, and I don't want her to settle down in Wheatville or any of that non- sense. Turnersport, Washington, the world, is the place for a girl like Edith. Ezra (^quietly amused). She can be in only one place at a time, Mr, Lawson. Lawson. Wheatville's not the place. Write that in your little book. If you want Edilh, you'll have to be something bigger'n a school-teacher in Wheatville. Ezra. Rome wasn't built in a day. Lawson. Edith can't wait for Rome to be built. Ezra. Did it ever occur to you that somebody else be- sides you might be ambitious for Edith? Lawson. Well, let them that is sho>v it. Ambitious is as ambitious does, accordin' to the old proverb. Ezra. 1 thought it was handsome. Lawson. Same thing, anyway. The point is this, if you're after Edith, you've got to bring along something worth having. Ezra {smilins^'). I guess if Edith should care for me — mind you I'm not saying she does — wouldn't she be wiUing to give me a year or two to get started? Lawson. Mebbe. For me, I'm strong for those that have got there. Intentions is good, but the train does run off the track occasionally. You ought to break into poli- tics, Ezra. That's the way to get along. Why don't you go to the convention and look thmgs over ? Ezra. I'd like to, but I promised old Tom Moran I'd bring a book up for him to read. Now that he's laid up he's pretty lonesome. And then I must get back home to study. Lawson. I shouldn't think you'd need much studyin* to teach them youngsters their three R's. Ezra. Maybe 1 might have to study something else — • who knows? THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES I9 Lawson. Cor'spondeiice course, I'll bet. (Molly comes out with a letter ^ which she is readings and a bag of chocolates. Under her arm she has a large package^ resembling a book. She encounters Lawson entering the post- office. ) Molly. Have a chocolate, Mr. Lawson ? Oh, isn't that too bad ? Not one left. Here's your mail, Mr. Little. (Lawson enters post-office. Ezra unwraps package and produces a large law-book.^ Ezra. I'm glad to get this. I'm about ready for it. Molly. What's the name of it ? Ezra. This is a copy of Remington on Equity. (Molly sticks up her nose.') Molly. Oh, I'd rather read something by Rose Carey or Mary L, Holmes. Their stories are lovely, don't you think so? Ezra. I must confess a certain degree of ignorance re- garding those classic works. Molly. I'll lend you some. They're grand ! (^Enter Wright, l., hurriedly.) Wright. You're just the man I want to see, Ezra. I hear you've made a special study of factories, industrial conditions and the like of that. Ezra. I've read a bit along those lines, and last vaca- tion I studied the factories first hand. Wright. And you wrote an article for the ^' World Magazine " Ezra. Yes — — Wright {interrupting^). And I read it. Now, we're trying to figure out a plank on that subject. The platform's all done but that. Come over and take a look at it, won't you ? Ezra. If I can be of any service, I'll come. Molly, can you take this book over to Mr. Moran, and tell him I'll come down after supper? Molly. Of course 1 will. {Takes small book and exits R.) 20 THF WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES Wright {taking Ezra's arm as they exeunt L.j. We've got a platform that'll make the Hon. Kent Howell sit up and take notice, believe me. {Exeimty L.) (^Enter Zeke Jones and Jed Smith, noisily, from the post- office.) Jed. Seems mighty good to be off dooty. Zeke. I got a higher dooty that calls me right now. I want to ask you a special favor. Jed. Strange, by hop. 1 was a-going to ask you to do something for me. Zeke {impressively^. When the committee meets to- night 1 want you to vote for me for chairman. Jed. By hop, just what 1 was a-going to ask you to do. Zeke. last you first. Jed. But I was a-goin' to ask you. Zeke. I'd be the best man. I can make a better speech. Jed. I know, but I'm handsomer — more imposin' like. Zeke. You are pretty fair to middlin' for looks, Jed, but looks ain't what count in politics. Mebbe when women vote, the handsomest man'll win. Come on. There's a good fellow. Vote for me for chairman. Jed. I will on one condition. Zeke. Sure, anything you like. Jed, You agree to the condition ? Zeke. My word's good, ain't it? Jed. The condition is that you withdraw in my favor. Zeke. Oh, I can't do that, Jed. Jed. You agreed to the condition. Ain't you a man o' your word ? Zeke (sharply). Any one insinyate to the contrary? Jed. if you don't do what you said what kin a feller think ? Zeke. Did I specifically state I'd withdraw ? Jed. I'd affirm it on a stack of sandwiches Zeke. Then I'll do it, if Kent's satisfied. Jed {eagerly). Sure. He ast me. Zeke. He ast me, too. Say, Jed, politics is a funny game, ain't it? Jed. Yep, but which way? THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES 21 Zeke. Everybody is awful pleasant before 'lection and so turrible forgitful afterward. Jed. Howell borrowed five dollars from old Clawbuck two years ago, and when old Clawbuck ast him for it he said he thought it was a campaign contribution. Haw — haw — haw ! Zeke. Well, ain't old Clawbuck what you'd call well to do ? Jed. He's hard to do. Zeke. Say, Jed, I'm thinkin' o' runnin' for office m'self. Jed {open-mouthed'). You don't say? Zeke. I do say, and don't you conterdict me. I'm studyin' law nights now, and one o' these days I'm goin' to run for persecutin' attorney or circuit judge. Jed. I'll help you get it, Zeke, and you can appoint me your deppity. For me, I'm never looking for nothin'. I let the office seek the man. Zeke, Like you did about this chairman business, hay? ]kt> {dignified). I felt the call of duty, Ezekiel. Would you have me falter when ray country needs me? Zeke. Oh, go on. Stop ringing in Kent's campaign thunder. Jed. I wrote it for him. Zeke. Yes, you did. Jed. I did, too. I read it in volume sixteen of '' World's Greatest Or'tory "■ b'fore the publishers took 'em away. Zeke. Took 'em away? Jed. Yep; they offered 'em on ten days' free trial, and I thought I could read 'em through in them ten days — there's only twenty books — but I only got to volume sixteen and not clean through that. The publishers kicked like hop — said the pages was cut. I writ 'em back pretty sassy, you bet your Ufe, and said, '*0' course they was ; d'ye ex- pect me to peek down between 'em?" {Enter Mrs. Jorkins, r. She carries folded umbrella.) My dear Mrs. Jorkins. Zeke. My dear Mrs. Jorkins. Zeke. ) ^^^^ ^^^^ j ^^ ^^^ ^^^ p Jed. {Each takes her by the arm. She moves away from them.) Mrs. J. {hurriedly). Nothing, thanks. I'll just slip in for my mail. 22 THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES Jed. I'm awful glad that you're fixed so comfortable like. Mrs. J, {half iveepiug). Yes, dear James, he was so thoughtful — always a good provider, and the insurance money' 11 keep body and soul together a while, I guess. Zeke. That policy was quite an amount, wasn't it, Mrs. Jorkins ? Mrs. J. I guess everybody knows it was two thousand dollars, since the '' Gazette " printed it all out. Jed. You can't believe everything you read in the papers. {Exit Mrs. J. into post-office.) I'd like to win that 'ere woman, Zeke. Zeke. So'd I. Jed. I'd feel mighty bad if I should lose her. Zeke. So'id I. Jed. I tell you, I could use a little of that 'ere two thousand dollars insurance money. Zeke. Same here, Jed. 1 tell you what let's do. We'll enter a comb'nation. Whichever wins'll divvy up; that suit you ? Jed. You mean the feller that gets the widow divides up the cash ? Zeke. Prezackly. Jed. Guess I'd rather be sure of a thousand than a chance on two. I'll go you, Ezekiel Jones. Zeke. I'll draw it up legal to-night, and we'll both sign it. Jed. Fix it up so's it'll be binding. Zeke. You leave it to me. {Enter Edith, r.) Edith. Well, what is the deputy doing? Jed. We've had a nice quiet little caucus, and we unanimously and with one accord chose me for chairman of the Wheatville committee. I perdict on that account we carry this burg by one hundred majority. {Struts. Mrs. J. comes from the post-office with tivo letters.^ Zf"ke ~) -r V {to Edith). Excuse me. {They rush over to Mrs. J.) Zeke. Let me carry your umberell. THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES 23 Jed. Oh, let me carry your letter. Mrs. J. Don't be foolish. Jed. Kinder hard not to be foolish sometimes; eh, Zeke ? Zeke. Right you are, Jedediah. Mrs. J. Good-afternoon. (She bows to Edith, and exits, r. Jed and Zeke go info the post-office^ crestfallen. Edith walks toward l. and encounters Ezra enter ifig l.) Edith. Good -afternoon, Mr. Little. Ezra. It used to be Ezra. Edith. Ezra, then. Have you just been at the conven- tion ? Ezra. Yes. Wright asked me to look over the wording of the labor plank in their platform. Edith (surprised). Why, I always thought you be- longed to our party. Ezra. I'm afraid my views are more like those of our friends over yonder. (^Indicates hall.) Edith. You must have made quite a study of the subject ? Ezra. It's been kind of a hobby of mine. I spent my vacation last year going through some factories up at Turnersport, and I worked in one for a month — to get a real idea of how it goes. Edith. First thing you know, they'll want you to run for something. Ezra. Oh, I guess not. A thing like that doesn't come unless a fellow goes after it. Edith, you know I intended to come up to your house to-morrow night Edith. I remember. Ezra. Your father spoke as though he didn't exactly like it. Edith. Never mind father, Ezra. I'll expect you to- morrow night. Ezra. Edith, you know what I spoke to you about at the graduation exercises Edith. Let's see, what was it you said that night? Ezra {disappointed). You don't remember ? Edith. Wliy, of course not. Ezra. Maybe I'll say it again to-morrow night. But your father is mighty ambitious for his Edith, he says, and 24 THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES perhaps there isn't much hope for a country school-teacher with a few dreams — Edith. Sometimes dreams have come true. {Jnterruption occasioned by loud conmwtion as cofivention delegates and others pour upon stage, l., shouting and gesticulating. ) Wright. Hon. Ezra Little, our historic party in con- vention assembled has placed you in nomination for the high office of state senator. Ezra {astonished'). Nominated me? Are you in ear- nest ? Wright. Couldn't be more serious, Ezra, if I tried. Ezra. It's a big surprise to me, I can tell you. Wright {confidetitially, to Ezra). Tell 'em you'll run. Ezra. Oh, they only put me up for a joke. Wright. Joke nothing. The platform committee said you were just the man. Here's the whole platform. I guess you'll find it solid enough to stand on. {He hands the paper to Ezra, who is readitig it intently, C, while the villagers crowd aroufid him, some laughing and shouting, while the delegates are applauding. Jed, Zeke a7id Lawson have come out to see the excitement. Page enters r.) Zeke. Ha, ha ! The school-teacher politician. Jed. Nominated Ezry, eh ? Whilliger bing, we win before we start. {Goes down l.) Delegate. Better wait till the votes are counted. Any- way, I'm glad somebody was put up. I'll be home late to supper as it is. Ezra {to Wright). I'm glad you scratched that clause out. {Points.') Wright. Oh, that rip-roaring roast of Kent ? I told them you'd never stand for that. (Lawson goes to Page, doivn r.) Ezra. You're right, Frank. Kent's a decent chap, and I don't believe in that sort of tactics. Delegates (/// l. and r.). Hurrah ! Speech ! Jed. a speech from the schoolmaster ! Delegates. Keep still, can't you? THE WHEATVILLE CANDIDATES 2$ Ezra (on steps of porch, c). I'm no speechmaker, fel- lows, but I want to say this. Now I'm in the fight I stay in. 1 hope you put me up to win. I will look for the support of every one of you delegates. Delegate. Hurrah ! Page (aside to Lawson). Pretty soft, this. Ezra. Now, Howell may be the better equipped states- man Page (opening a huge note-book). Big head-lines in the Wheatville *' Press " for that testnnonial. Ezra. Yes, friends, 1 consider Howell a clean, honest man, and if that clause hadn't come out of your platform, you'd have to reconvene and choose another candidate. But on matters of policy opinions differ, I believe in the principles of this platform. {Holds up paper. Applause.) 1 shall try to carry our views to every corner of our district, and I shall expect all of you to get to work and help us win. {Applause. He steps doivn and talks to Edith, up c. ) L\ !■ {down L.). Not me. Page. Anyway, I've got it in his own words, " Howell the Better Statesman," and not another word of his speech gets into the Wheatville *■'■ Press." Lawson. It's lucky for Howell he's got such an easy opponent, because he's after Edith, and 'nless he gets elected he can't have a fond father's blessing. Zeke {crossing R.). It ain't so easy as I wish. Folks around Wheatville think a hull lot of Ezra Little, and I tell you he's apt to pull off somethmg unexpected. Lawson. Oh, back to the pond with the rest of the croakers. Zeke {stubborn). I wish they'd nominated some old chap that was going instead of coming. (Ezra ««