French's International Copyriffhted (in England, her Colonies, and ihe 
 United States) Edition of the Works of the Best Authors. 
 
 I No. 198, V t 
 
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 ^ Copyright, 1910, by Samuel French ^ 
 
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 NOTICE.— The professional acting rights of this play are 
 reserved by the publisher, and permission for such per- 
 formances must be obtained before performances are 
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 London ^ 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. /^ 
 
 STRAND ft 
 
FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA, 
 
 Price 13 Cents each.— Bound Volumei f 1.25. 
 
 VOL. I. 
 1 Ion 
 t FmIo 
 
 S Th« L»dy vf Lyons 
 4 Rich«li«u 
 ( Th«Wif« 
 • Th« Honeymoon 
 
 I Th» School for ScMid»l 
 t MoD«y 
 
 VOL. IL 
 t Th« Strangtr 
 
 10 (irkndfkthtr Whitehead 
 
 11 Richard III 
 
 H LoT«'i Sacrifice 
 
 IS The Gameiter 
 
 14 A Cure for the Heartache 
 
 1» The Hunchback 
 
 II Don Ceesar d« Baxan 
 
 VOL. III. 
 IT The Poor Gentleman 
 II Hamlet 
 1» Cbarlci II 
 
 80 Venice Preeeryed 
 31 Piiarro 
 
 92 Tlie Lore Chaee 
 33 Otbello 
 
 94 Lend me FiTe ShlUlnge 
 VOL. IV. 
 
 98 Virjiniu. 
 
 91 King of the Coinmone 
 37 Loudon Auurance 
 91 The Rent Day 
 
 99 Two Gentleuirii of Verona 
 gOThe Jealou. Wife 
 11 The Rival* 
 II Perfection 
 
 VOL. V. [Debts 
 
 81 A New Way to Pay Old 
 14 Look Before You Leap 
 
 lo King John 
 
 •4 Nervous Man 
 
 n Damon and Pvthlai 
 
 18 Clandestine Marriage 
 It William Tell 
 
 40 Day after the Wedding 
 
 VOL. VI. 
 
 41 Speed the Plough 
 41 Romeu and Juliet 
 41 Feudal Timet 
 
 44 Charlei the Twelfth 
 
 4Ii The Bride 
 
 4( The Follies of a Night 
 
 47 Iron Cliett [Fair Lady 
 
 48 Faint Heart Never Won 
 
 VOL. VIL 
 
 49 Road to Ruin 
 »0 Macbeth 
 
 6\ Temper 
 
 61 Eradne 
 
 63 Bertram 
 
 54 The Duenna 
 
 6ft Much Ado About Nothing 
 
 ftlThe Critic 
 
 VOL. VIII. 
 S7 The Apostate 
 6R Twelfth Night 
 
 19 Brutus 
 
 10 Simpion & Co 
 
 II Merchai.t of Venice 
 
 C9 Old Headsdi Young Hearts 
 
 43 Mountaineers [riage 
 
 14 Three Weeks after Mar- 
 
 VOL. IX. 
 
 IIL«T« 
 
 11 As Tou Like It 
 
 t1 The Elder Brother 
 
 M Werner 
 
 II Gistppua 
 
 TO Town and Country 
 
 Tl King Lear 
 
 T< Blue Devils 
 
 VOL. X. 
 Tl Henry VHI 
 T4 Married and lln|rl« 
 Tl Henry IV 
 Tl Paul Pry 
 TT Gay Mannartng 
 Tl Sweethearts and Wires 
 Tl Serious Family 
 10 Sbe Stoeps t* Oonqawr 
 
 VOL. XL 
 81 Julius Csesar 
 8'.' Vicar of Wakefield 
 ii Leap Year 
 84 The Catspaw 
 »5 The Passing Cloud 
 
 86 Drunkard 
 
 87 Rob Roy 
 
 88 George Barnwell 
 
 VOL, Xll. 
 
 89 Ingomar 
 
 90 Sketches in India 
 <jn Two Friends 
 9; Jane Shore 
 93 Corsican Brothers 
 64 Mind your own Business 
 95 Writing on the Wall 
 
 91 Heir at Law 
 
 VOL. xin. 
 97 Soldier's Daughter 
 9-- Douglas 
 99 Marco Spada 
 lUO Nature's Nobleman 
 
 101 Sardanapalus 
 
 102 Civiliiation 
 
 103 The Robbers 
 
 104 Katharine and Petruchio 
 VOL. XIV. 
 
 105 Game of Love 
 
 106 Midsummer Night's 
 
 107 Ernestine [Dream 
 
 108 Rag Picker of Paris 
 
 109 Flying Dutchman 
 liJ Hypocrite 
 
 111 Tberese 
 
 112 La Tour de Nesle 
 
 VOL. XV. 
 
 113 Ireland As It I* 
 
 114 Sea of Ice 
 
 115 Seven Clerks 
 
 116 Game of Life 
 
 117 Forty Thieves 
 
 118 Bryan Boroihme 
 
 119 Romance and Reality 
 
 120 Ugolino 
 
 V.L. XVL 
 
 121 The Tempest 
 
 122 The Pilot 
 
 123 Carpenter of Rouen 
 1 4 King's Rival 
 1 25 Little Trensure 
 128 Dombey and Son 
 12' Parents and Guardians 
 \ii Jewess 
 
 VOL. XVIL 
 199 Camille 
 
 130 Married Life 
 
 131 Wenlock of Wenlook 
 
 132 Rose of Etlrickvale 
 
 133 David Copperfield 
 
 134 Aline, or the Rose of 
 35 P.iuline [Killarney 
 
 136 Jane Eyre 
 
 VOL. XVIIL 
 187 Night and Morning 
 138 ^thiop 
 \^9 Three Guardsmen 
 
 140 Tom Cringle 
 
 41 Henrlette, the Forsaken 
 
 42 Eustache Baudin 
 U3 Ernest Maltravers 
 
 Bold Dragoons 
 VOL. XIX. 
 14S Dred, or the Dismal 
 
 [Swamp 
 
 141 Last Days of Pompeii 
 
 147 Esmeralda 
 
 148 Peter WilHns 
 
 149 Ben the Boitswain 
 
 150 Jonathan Bradford 
 
 151 Retribution 
 119 Mineral i 
 
 VOL. XX. 
 1 58 French Spy 
 154 Wept of Wish-ton Wish 
 151 Evil Genius 
 151 Ben Bolt 
 
 157 Sailor of FrftBce 
 
 158 Red Mask 
 
 159 Life of an Aotreit 
 1*0 Weddiuf Day 
 
 VOL. XXI. 
 
 161 All's Fair inLoTC 
 
 162 Hofer 
 
 163 Self 
 
 164 Cinderella 
 
 165 Phantom 
 
 166 Franklin [Moscow 
 
 167 The Gunmaker of 
 
 168 The Love of a Princ« 
 VOL. XXll. 
 
 169 Son of the Night 
 no Rory O'More 
 171 Golden Eagle 
 "72 Rienil 
 
 173 Broke . Sword 
 
 174 Rip V.-»n WinkU 
 
 175 Isabelle 
 
 176 Heart of Mid Lothian 
 VOL. XXIH. 
 
 177 Actress of Padua 
 78 Heating Beacon 
 
 179 Bride of Lammermoor 
 18u Cataract of the Ganges 
 181 Robber of the Rhine 
 
 82 School of Reform 
 
 83 Wandering Boys 
 S4 Mazeppa 
 
 VcTl. XXIV. 
 
 185 Young New York 
 
 186 The Victims 
 
 187 Romance after Marriage 
 
 188 Brigand 
 
 189 Poor of New York 
 
 190 Ambrose Gwinett 
 
 191 Raymond and Agnes 
 
 192 Gambler's Fate 
 VOL. XXV. 
 
 193 Father and Son 
 
 194 Massaniello 
 
 195 Sixteen String Jack 
 
 196 Youthful Queen 
 
 197 Skeleton Witness 
 
 198 Innkeeper of Abbeville 
 
 199 Miller and his Men 
 
 200 Aladdin 
 VOL. XXVL 
 
 201 Adrienne the Actress 
 
 202 Undine 
 
 203 Jesse Brown 
 
 204 Asmodeus 
 
 205 Mormons 
 
 206 Blanche of Brandywine 
 2U7 Viola 
 
 208 Deseret Deserted 
 VOL. XXVII. 
 
 209 Americans in Paris 
 
 210 Victorine 
 
 211 Wizard of the Wave 
 
 212 Castle Spectre 
 
 213 Horse-shoe Robinson 
 21. Armand, Mrs. Mowatt 
 21 Fashion, Mrs. Mowatt 
 
 216 Glance at New York 
 VOL. XXVIIL 
 
 217 Inconstant 
 
 218 Ilncle Tom's Cabin 
 
 219 Guide to the Stage 
 
 220 Veteran 
 
 221 Miller of New Jersey 
 
 222 Dark Hour before Dawn 
 
 223 Midsum'rNigbt's Dream 
 [Laura Keene's Edition 
 
 224 Art and Artifice 
 VOL. XXIX. 
 
 225 Poor Young Man 
 22S Ossawattomie Brown 
 
 227 Pope of Rome 
 
 228 Oliver Twist 
 
 229 Pauvrette 
 
 230 Man in the Iron Mask 
 
 231 Knight of Arva 
 
 232 Moll Pitcher 
 VOL. XXX. 
 
 233 Black Eyed Susan 
 
 234 Satan in Paris 
 
 235 Rosina Meadows [ess 
 286 West End, or Irish Heir- 
 2S7 Six Degrees of Crime 
 988 The Lady and the Devil 
 939 A veneer, or Moor of Sici- 
 240 Masks and Faces [ly 
 
 VOL. XXXI. 
 
 241 Merry Wives of Windsor 
 
 242 Mary's Birthday 
 
 243 Shandy Maguire 
 
 244 Wild Oats 
 
 245 Michael Erie 
 
 246 Idiot Witness 
 
 247 Willow Copse 
 
 248 People's Lawyer 
 VOL. XXXIL 
 
 249 The Boy Martyrs 
 
 250 Lucretia Borgia 
 
 251 Surgeon of Paris 
 
 252 Patrician's Daughte» 
 
 253 Shoemakur of Toul use 
 
 254 Momentous Question 
 
 255 Love and Loyalty 
 
 256 Robber's Wife 
 VOL. XXXIII. 
 
 257 Dumb Girl of Genoa 
 Wreck Ashore 
 
 259 Clari 
 
 260 Rural Felicity 
 
 261 WallHce 
 
 262 Madelalne 
 
 263 The Fireman 
 
 264 Grist to the Mill 
 VOL. XXXIV. 
 
 265 Two Loves and a Life 
 
 266 Annie Blake 
 
 267 Steward 
 
 268 Captain Kyd 
 
 269 Niik of the Woods 
 
 270 Marble Heart 
 
 27 1 Second Love 
 
 272 Dream at Sea 
 
 Vol. XXXV. 
 
 273 Breach of Promise 
 
 274 Review 
 
 275 Lady of the Lake 
 
 276 Still Water Runs Deep 
 
 277 The Scholar 
 
 278 Helping Hands 
 
 279 Faust and Marguerite 
 
 280 Last Man 
 VOL. XXXVT. 
 
 281 Belle's Stratagem 
 
 282 Old and Young 
 
 283 Raffaella 
 
 284 Ruth Oakley 
 
 285 British Sir .'e 
 266 A Life's Ransom 
 287 Giralda 
 28 Time Tries All 
 
 VOL. xxxvn. 
 
 289 Ella Rosenburg 
 
 290 Warlock of the Glen 
 
 291 Zelina 
 
 292 Beatrice 
 2^3 Neighbor Jackwood 
 ?94 Wonder 
 
 295 Robert Emmet 
 
 296 Green Bushes 
 VOL. XXXVIIL 
 
 297 Flowers ol the Forest 
 
 298 A Bachelor of Arts 
 
 299 The Midnieht Banquet 
 
 300 Husband of in Hour 
 
 301 Love's Labor Lost 
 Naiad Queen 
 
 303 Caprice 
 a04 Cradle of Liberty 
 VOL. XXXIX. 
 
 305 The Lost Ship 
 
 306 Country Squire 
 
 307 Fraud and Us Vietlmt 
 
 308 Putnam 
 King 4nd Deserter 
 
 810 La F ammina 
 111 A Hard Struggle 
 311 Gwinnette Vaughan 
 
 VOL. XL. 
 81$ The Lov. Knot [Judge 
 814 LavaUr, or Not a Bad 
 315 The Noble Heart 
 311 Coriolanus 
 317 The Winter's Tal« 
 USEveleen Wilson 
 
 819 Iranhoe 
 
 820 Jonathan In England 
 
 {FrtHcb't Standard Drama Continued oh jdpage of Cover.) 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City. 
 
 New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogfue Mailed Free on Request. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS 
 
 a flap for <(Birl^* in €l)ree 3lct^ 
 
 BY 
 
 MAXI SHERROD 
 
 Copyright, 1910, by Samuel French 
 
 New York 
 SAMUEL FRENCH 
 
 PUBLISHER 
 
 28-30 WEST 38TH STREET 
 
 London 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 
 
 26 Southampton Street, 
 
 STRAND 
 
^^ a 
 
 < 
 
 1) 
 
 7'^'^'^/^^ 
 
 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Cbaracters* 
 
 Nancie, 
 Kate, 
 
 Patty, a Personally Conducted Party of GirU 
 
 Claka, Traveling in Europe. 
 
 Mabel, 
 
 Judith, 
 
 Mrs. Barksdale. Personal Conductor of Girls. 
 
 Pandora, ^ 
 
 Athena, Kt,, ^ 
 
 ^ The Fresh Sisters. 
 Socratesia, 
 
 Aphodite, j 
 
 Maria Casterville. Chaperonne of the Fresh Sisters. 
 
 Brigida O'Briggins. The Maid. 
 
 TMP96-006727 
 
 ©CI.D 22617 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 ACT. I. 
 
 Time : Noon. 
 
 Place : An Island off the Coast of England. 
 
 Scene : Trees ^ etc. Fence with stile over it (any outdoor 
 scene will answer). Efiter Mabel, Nancie and 
 Judith, followed by Mrs. B., and carryifig baskets^ 
 pillows and mat^azines. All talking and laughing. 
 
 Mabel {looks around, drops basket and clasps her 
 hands). Oh! Isn't this perfectly lovely and romantic 
 looking ! 
 
 Nan. Yes, it's pretty, but I don't see anything ro- 
 mantic about it. (Turning to Mrs. B.) Mrs. Barks- 
 dale, can't we have our picnic here ? We won't find a 
 better place than this ; it's so nice and shady 1 
 
 Mrs. B. {removing her hat). Yes, dear, just as you 
 please. This is our last day in England and I don't 
 want you girls to go back to America thinking what a 
 grouchy old chaperon I am. So I'm going to be real 
 nice and obliging to-day and let you turn this little 
 island upside down if you wish. I only warn you not to 
 tumble in the water. You might get wet and catch 
 cold. {Girls put down things and Mrs. ^.proceeds to 
 make herself a comfortable seat with pillows. 
 
 Clara {si?tking down upon stile) I'm so tired ! I 
 shouldn't have attempted to walk this far. Really I'm 
 nearly dead. Judith {giggling). Oh, dear 1 It's too 
 
 3 
 
A THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 funnvl Vou've been on the ^vay to the grave ever 
 s^e we left America, Clara, and I'll be wilhng to bet 
 that I'll get there long before you do. 
 
 MABEL. Yes. It's queer, but y" "--■^,'=^" '!" 
 about people. I used to know two brothers. They 
 caUed one Dumplin and the other Stnng Now 
 Dumplin was as big and healthy as a Berkshire p.g, 
 but String was thin and sickly, and ancient looking 
 Honestly that boy had so many wrmkles •" h.^ Jace 
 Sat ttoked likL piece of crepe de chine. Anybody 
 would have bet ten dollars against a toothpick hat he d 
 be the first one to die, but h.s fr.ends were all disap- 
 pointed for he outlived Dumplin. Everybody loved 
 Dumplin and his funeral procession was so long that 
 youc^ouldn'tseetheendof it through a double bar- 
 relied telescope. It took the last carnage a whole day 
 to catch up with the hearse. Freddie and I were on 
 the sidewalk when the procession passed and I heard 
 a man talking to our yard boy who was mowing the 
 lawn. He sJd" Say, Jake, who's dead?" J^ke looked 
 up from his work and said, " I don't ^r'^r !';T2 
 tink it's der man in der front wagon." (G.R.^ /an^^) 
 Clara. What became of the other brother ? Is he 
 
 '"MABEf ' String? No, he died very suddenly. He 
 was in New York not long ago playing the rubber 
 plant on top of the Singer building and he tumbled oft. 
 The fall jarred him a little and he went to his room 
 He had been there about five minutes when he tell 
 asleep, rolled off the couch and broke his neck. 
 
 TuDlTH. Did it kill him ? 
 
 Mabel. Oh, no. It didn't kill him the least bit- 
 just broke his neck. I wonder where the other girls 
 
 ^"^ Nan They'll be here directly. Stopped back yon- 
 der to 'look at some bugs. Let's have dinner, Mrs. 
 BaTksdale. I'm as hungry as the little chap who gets 
 put to bed without any supper. , , 
 
 Mrs. B. So am I, Nan. Actually, I believe I could 
 almost eat a box of tacks with a relish. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 5 
 
 Clara* It would certainly be a great tax on the 
 digestive organs. 
 
 Judith {taking some newspapers out of a basket). 
 We'll have to use these papers for a table-cloth. I 
 tried my best to make that old hotel man give me one 
 but the hateful thing wouldn't do it. 
 
 Nan. You might have known that without asking 
 hirn. He's actually so stingy that he slides down the 
 baluster to keep from wearing out the carpet on his 
 steps. 
 
 Judith {giggling). How queer ! 
 
 Mabel. I'm glad he didn't give you a table-cloth. 
 It's so nice and novel to eat on newspapers. 
 
 {Enter Patty and Kate) 
 
 Patty {excitedly). Oh ! Girls, just look what I 
 found! {Girls gather aroiuid her and Mrs. B. looks 
 up from a magazine which she is reading) It's a bug — 
 almost exactly like the description of Poe's gold-bug. 
 {Holding it up) See how it shines ! It's a very valu- 
 able insect. 
 
 Mabel. How do you know ? 
 
 Patty {resentfully). How do I know? Shiverin' 
 Sardines ! Didn't I spend a whole year at school 
 studying bugology ? Hand me that string, Nan. I 
 want to tie it so it won't get away. 
 
 Mrs. B. {looking at her watch). It's after twelve, 
 girls. You'd better fix lunch and then we can admire 
 the bug when we get through. — (Girls commence tak- 
 ing things out of baskets) 
 
 Kate. I, for one, don't want to look at it. I have- 
 n't any patience with people who waste a lot of time 
 and energy chasing around after bugs. 
 
 Patty. What an abused creature I am ! Isn't it 
 awful, Mabel ? No, Katie, dear, it's a settled fact that 
 you wouldn't go bughouse about an insignificant little 
 bug. 
 
 Nan. I should say not ! You waste all your extra 
 time and energy disagreeing with people. 
 
6 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Judith. What did you do with the other basket, 
 Patty ? 
 
 Pat. Oh, I forgot all about it ! It's back there 
 where I found the gold bug. 
 
 Nan. Come on, Judith. Let's go get it. Finish 
 opening this can of lol sters. 
 
 (Patty hands ca7i to her. Exit Judith and Nan.) 
 
 Clara. Surely yo^ girls had more sense than to 
 buy canned lobsters. Thousands of people have been 
 poisoned with them. 
 
 Kate. You wouldn't consider the after effects if 
 you were hungry, Clara. But I don't believe you know 
 what hunger is. 
 
 Patty {eating a a-acker). I can tell you that. 
 Hunger is interest paid on starvation before it falls due. 
 
 Mrs. B. {throwing doum her magazifie). I've almost 
 finished paying my interest, then. Aren't you girls 
 nearly through fixing things ? {Going towards one of 
 the baskets) I s'pose I'll have to help you. — " Many 
 hands make' light work." 
 
 Pat. And too many cooks spoil the cake. {Es- 
 cortiiig Mrs. B, to her seat) Now you sit down, Mrs. 
 Barksdale, and make yourself comfortable. We'll have 
 lunch for this famishing crowd as soon as Nan and 
 Judith come back with the other basket. 
 
 Mabel. Gee-whiz ! Where did you get this cake, 
 Patty ? It looks like it's had a hard life. I suppose 
 it was beat too much. 
 
 Pat. Bought it at an auction sale for fifteen cents. 
 
 Mabel. At an auction sale ! Why, what a queer 
 place to buy a cake 1 
 
 Clara. It was certainly cheap enough. 
 
 (Enter Judith and Nan.) 
 
 Nan. What do you think, girls ? The basket's 
 gone ! We can't find it anywhere. 
 
 Judith. Isn't it the funniest thing you ever heard 
 of.? 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 7 
 
 Kate. Funny ! I don't see anything funny about 
 it. 
 
 Patty. Nan, you're joking ! 
 
 Nan No, I'm not. I'll pledge you my word as an 
 honest man The basket has just mysteriously disap- 
 peared, that's all. 
 
 Patty {woefully). Imagine a picnic without pickles. 
 Now wouldn't that jar you ? 
 
 Clara. It's a shame 1 
 
 Patty. There were two big bottles full of them, 
 and oh. Gee ! I'm just dippy about pickles. 
 
 Mabel. So am I. Let's cry about it. 
 
 Mrs. B. It's too bad about the basket, but I think 
 we have enough to eat without it. You'll have to 
 treat the crowd when we get back to town, Patty, as a 
 punishment for leaving it behind. 
 
 Pat. Treat the crowd ! Why, Mrs. Barksdale, I 
 spent my last dollar for those pickles. Honest I did. 
 And at present I'm so dead broke that if steamboats 
 were five cents apiece, I couldn't buy an interest in the 
 echo of the whistle, 
 
 (Girls laugh.) 
 
 Nan. If that's the case, then we'll have to forgive 
 you, Patty. 
 
 Pat. All right, I'm willing to bury the hatchet — 
 handle and all. 
 
 Kate {imp atie fitly). Do you girls intend to eat any- 
 thing ? If you are going to stand around talking all 
 day I 'spose I'll have to have lunch by myself. 
 
 Pat. Noble Katrina ! If your highness will pardon 
 and forgive my humble lowness for delaying this boun- 
 tiful feast, let us now proceed to eat, drink and be 
 merry, for to-morrow some of us may be too grumpy to 
 live with. 
 
 (Girls sit down on the ground and begin eating.) 
 
 Mabel. Doesn't it seem lovely to be out here ? 
 Hotel life isn't what it's cracked up to be. 
 
 Nan. I should say it isn't. I don't enjoy eating a 
 
8 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 bit. Every time you look up from your plate you see 
 a waiter staring at you with that •' I wonder how much 
 I'm going to get " expression on his face. 
 
 Kate. Pass the sandwiches, Judith. 
 
 Clara. Yes, and the fare isn't good, either. I'm 
 afraid it has helped to make me more of an invalid 
 than ever. It's sad to think that I must go home to 
 die. 
 
 Judith (giggling). Isn't it simply the funniest thing 
 you ever heard of ? 
 
 Mabel. I'm anxious to get home, but I'm expect- 
 ing to live a while after I get there. 
 
 Pat. I'll shake hands with you. My cry is now, 
 Oh, you San Antonio ! 
 
 Mrs. B. I must admit that I'm rather tired of trav- 
 eling myself. 
 
 Pat. Yes, and won't it be nice to turn a corner 
 without swinging on to a Baedeker to see what you're 
 going to bump into next ! 
 
 Judith. I'm going down to Bonn Avon to see Miss 
 Estes as soon as I strike town. 
 
 Mabel {clasping her hands). And oh, Joy ! Fred- 
 die's going to meet me at the train. 
 
 Kate {disgustedly). Yes, that's what's the matter 
 with all of you. It's not San Antonio that you're so 
 wild about. It's those little simple-minded dudes who 
 wear out the sidewalks tramping the streets from morn- 
 ing till night. Thank goodness ! I've never wasted 
 any of my valuable time thinking about them and I 
 don't intend to. 
 
 Mabel {resentfully). I don't care what you say, 
 Freddie's a dear ! And oh, girls 1 He's so crazy 
 about me ! 
 
 Judith. How do you know ? 
 
 Mabel. Why, he told me so. 
 
 Pat. Now wouldn't that jar yo*u ? 
 
 Mabel. He said he loved me more than all the 
 rest of the world put together. 
 
 Nan. You silly child ! Don't you know they all 
 tell you that ? 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 9 
 
 Mabel. Oh, but he really meant it ! I could tell 
 by his tone of voice. 
 
 (Judith starts laughing and then chokes.) 
 
 Kate {pounding her on the back). That's just like 
 you, Judith. You always did want to bite more than 
 you could chew. But I suppose it's human nature. 
 
 Pat. I have not enjoyed a meal so much in ages. 
 
 Mrs. B. {wiping her hands with paper 7iapkin). I 
 haven't either. It was great. 
 
 Elinor. Oh ! You're not through, Mrs. Barksdale. 
 You must have some of Patty's auction cake. 
 
 Mrs. B. All right. I 'spose it's my Christian 
 duty. 
 
 Clara {trying to cut cake). My, it's as hard as a 
 rock 1 Girls,, I don't think it's advisable to run the 
 risk of eating it. 
 
 Kate. You're cutting it with the wrong side of the 
 knife. 
 
 Pat. Give it here, {takes the cake) I'll cut it. 
 {Starts cutti7ig) I forgot to tell you it's a wedding 
 cake. I'll cut for all of you. Who wants the first 
 slice 1 
 
 All. I do. 
 
 Pat. I'll start with Mrs. Barkdale and go all around 
 the table. 
 
 {Hands the slices around as she cuts them.) 
 
 Nan. How did you happen to get a wedding cake 
 at an auction sale ? 
 
 Pat. Well, you see the bride ran oil with the groom 
 the day before the wedding. The cake was all made, 
 and the bride's father happened to be an auctioneer so 
 he decided to auction it off with the other things. 
 There's a thimble in it and a dime and just oodles of 
 other valuables. 
 
 Mrs. B. {tasting her cake). Ugh! It's awful? 
 The bride must have been a very sensible young lady. 
 
 Mabel {tasting her;s). Well, I think so. I'd run 
 from cake like this too. 
 
10 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Clara {making a lury face). Hand me some water 
 quick. Girls, I'm afraid this is is going to be the 
 death of us ali. 
 
 Judith {gigglhig and crmnbling up her cake). I won- 
 der where the thimble is. 
 
 Pat. {still cutting). Oh! I'll come to it after while. 
 {Excitedly^ Here's something now ! 
 
 Kate {lookifig over her shoulder). Goosie ! It's a 
 big hunk of baking powder ! 
 
 Mabel. Did you ever ! 
 
 Nan. I'm afraid that auction man made up that 
 wedding story, Patty. 
 
 Pat. Oh, no, he didn't. He said he used to be a 
 preacher. 
 
 Mrs. B. {laughing). I 'spose they asked him to re- 
 sign then. I think I'll go and pick some wild flowers. 
 
 {Take her hat and starts off the stage.) 
 Elinor. Wait a minute and I'll go with you. 
 Patty {still cutti?ig cake). You can all go if you Avant 
 
 to and Nan and I will stay here and put the things in 
 
 the baskets. It will save you the trouble of coming 
 
 back this way. 
 
 Mrs. B. {over shoulder as she goes out). All right 
 
 then. You and Nan meet us at the landing in about 
 
 an hour. 
 
 {Exit Mrs. B., Kate, Elinor, Clara, Judith and 
 Mabel.) 
 
 Nan. What's the use of cutting the rest of the cake 
 up, Patty ? 
 
 Patty {tasting it fo? the first time). Nothing in it ! 
 Why, Nan, it's half full of quinine. Shiverin' Sardines ! 
 Give me something to take the taste out. 
 
 Nan {laiighing a?id handing her a piece of candy). I'm 
 glad I did not eat any, if that's the case. I never 
 was particularly fond of quinine. 
 
 ^ Pat. Just wait till I get through with that man ! 
 I'm going down there to-morrow and tell him exactly 
 what I think of him, and it won't be anything compli- 
 mentary either. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. H 
 
 Nan {looking t/ij'ough wifigs). Say, Patty, what's this 
 coming ? 
 
 Pat {Jumping up and looking too). Petrified Pan- 
 cakes ! It's either a side show or an escaped lunatic 
 asykim 1 
 
 {E7iter Maria Casterville ridiculously dressed and 
 carrying a huge fan ivhich she constantly waves to 
 and fro. She is followed by the four Fresh Sis- 
 ters and Brigida O'Briggins. The four girls 
 wear short dresses and hair plaited dow?i their backs. 
 They are all eatifi^ pickles. Brigida is clad in a 
 bright green di'ess and her hair is scretved up in a 
 tight knot. She carries a basket. She should be 
 rather stout, with red hair.) 
 
 Pat {aside to Nan). Those are our pickles. Now 
 wouldn't that jar you ? 
 
 (Maria looks ar-ound and stops when she sees the two girls, 
 her fan suspended i7i midair for a few seconds. The 
 Fresh Sisters drop their pickles and stare. There 
 is a slight pause). 
 
 Brigida {in an astounded voice). Howling Mither of 
 Moses ! ! ! 
 
 Maria {in a slow draw li?ig voice). This is atrocious I 
 Perfectly atrocious 1 
 
 (Nan and Patty laugh.) 
 
 Pat {turning to Nan). In the name of the seven 
 sacred crocodiles, what do you think of this ? 
 
 Pandy (to Aphro). Aren't they queer-looking ? Who 
 do you suppose they are ? 
 
 Aphro. I don't know. 
 
 Athena. I wonder were they came from ? 
 
 Socrat. Perhaps they are wingless angels who have 
 drifted down from the azure dome of heaven. 
 
 Maria {indignantly to Brigida). I must see the 
 guards and have them arrested. It is an outrage ! An 
 atrocious outrage 1 Brigida, {pointifig to Nan a7id 
 
12 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Patty). Show these two creatures off the island. 
 (To the Fresh Sisters). Come, girls ! 
 
 (She gathers up her skirts and sweeps off the stage followed 
 by Pandora, Athena, Socratesia and Aphro- 
 dite, who stare at Patty and Nan over their 
 shoulders as they go out. ) 
 
 Nan. Catch me, Patty, I'm going to faint ! 
 
 Pat (to Brigiua). Fair maiden, will you kindly ex- 
 plain this mystery to us ? 
 
 Brig. I have never had such a surprise since the 
 dith of me old man Patrick. Begorra and how did ye 
 two young loidies get here ? 
 
 Nan. We came across in a boat. 
 
 Brig. Yiss, miss. Sure an' that's the only way ye 
 can come. But the guards niver let people come over 
 here. Did ye not see the guards ? 
 
 Pat Guards! I don't know any anything about 
 them ! You see there were a crowd of us girls and we 
 wanted to have a picnic. It looked so pretty over here 
 that we decided to come across. 
 
 Nan. We found a boat and there were 'two men 
 lying near it asleep. Maybe they were the guards. We 
 didn't want to disturb them so we came across in the 
 boat. Of course we'll pay them for the use of it when 
 we go back. 
 
 Brig. Then you are right, Miss. The two sleepy- 
 heads were no other than the guards themselves. Maria 
 Casterville will have them arristed for their laziness. 
 Sure and they niver did such a thing before. This 
 slice of land is one of them islands belonging to Solo- 
 mon Frish. 
 
 Nan. Who ? 
 
 Brig. Solomon Frish. An' have you niver heard 
 of him ? 
 
 Pat {surprised). You don't mean Solohen Fresh 
 the millionaire, do you ? 
 
 Brig. Sure, Miss, an' he's the same. {Noddifig her 
 head in direction of exit.) Thim were his four daugh- 
 ters. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 13 
 
 Nat. What ! The dughters of Solomon Fresh ? 
 
 Brig. Yiss, Miss, and begorra I feel sorry for the 
 poor little angels. 
 
 Pat. Why do you feel sorry for them ? They have 
 everything they want, don't they ? 
 
 Brig. Yiss, Miss, but that's not it! The poor 
 dears have niver seeri a ??ian ! 
 
 Nan. {excitedly). Never seen a man 1 ! ! 
 
 Pat. {also excited). Shiverin' Sardines! Go on! 
 Tell us all about it. 
 
 Brig, {sitting down on stile). Well, now, as ye are 
 for axin me, I'll tell ye. It's the quarest sort of a 
 proceeding ! You see Mrs. Frish died here on the 
 island when the four girls was little tots. His river- 
 ence Mr. Frish was so broke up over it that he went 
 to Africa and he's been there iver since as far as I 
 know. Sometimes I sort of wonder if he's still livin'. 
 Do ye sippose he is ? 
 
 Pat. {impatiently). I don't know. Go on 1 
 
 Brig. Yiss, Miss. He left the four children in 
 charge of that dragon — Maria Casterville, and begorra ! 
 If he didn't write a last will and testament before he 
 went, jist as if he expicted to die. The will explained 
 as how the girls would not get a cint of his money if they 
 looked at a boy. I've niver heard the loike of it. Miss. 
 
 Nan. {disgustedly). The crazy ole crank ! 
 
 Pat. He was a cruel hard-hearted old beast — that's 
 what he was. 
 
 Brig. Sure and he was a quare sort iv a father, 
 but I have me doubts. Me old man Patrick always 
 said I had curiosity enough for two people and I giss 
 I have, for I'd just loike to know exactly what that 
 will has in it. Sure 'n if I could read, I would find 
 out. That's what comes of not having an iducation. 
 It's something Maria Casterville is kaping from the 
 dear children. 
 
 Nan. Do you know where the will is ? 
 
 Brig. Yiss, Miss. Howling Mither of Moses ! {Joy- 
 fully claspi)ig her hands). I hadn't thought of it. Maybe 
 you two can read it for me. 
 
14 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Pat {eagerly). Yes, we'll be delighted ! 
 Nan. Do you really know where it is ? 
 Brig. Yiss, Miss. You're standin' right over the 
 spot where it's buried. 
 
 Girls {looking down at grou7td.) 
 
 Pat. Buried ! 1 ! Come on, let's dig it up. 
 
 Brig {moving a small stone near where they are stand- 
 ing). I put the stone there so I'd know where to find it. 
 
 Nan. How queer! What did he want to bury it 
 for? 
 
 Pat. Hurry, Nan, and get the cake-knife. We can 
 dig with that. 
 
 (Nan looks for the cake-knife^ 
 
 Brig, {getting dotvn 07i her knees and digging with her 
 hands). You see, Miss, Maria Casterville, buried the 
 will to keep me or any of the other servants from find- 
 in' it. Sure 1 And she didn't know I was watchin' her 
 from behind a tree. Give me the knife, Miss. 
 
 {Continues digging with hiife. Nan and Patty sit down 
 on ground and watch the hole eagerly ) 
 
 Pat. But I don't understand what this Casterville 
 woman didn't tear the will up or burn it if she didn't 
 want you to see it. 
 
 Brig. Sure and she was afraid to. Ye see his river- 
 ence Mr. Frish moight turn up alive at any minute and 
 ask her for it. 
 
 Nan {to Patty). Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it ? 
 
 Pat. Yes. Won't we , crow over the other girls 
 when we get to the hotel, though ? {Lookifig into the 
 hole) Oh ! You've struck something hard ! 
 
 Brig ( reaching dow?i in hole and pulling out a box). 
 Yiss, begorra, an' it's heavy. {Puts it dowft o?i ground.) 
 
 Nan {opens box and pulls out manuscript). Here's the 
 will! 
 
 Pat. But there's something else in the box. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 15 
 
 {T(xkes out another piece of paper ajid accidentaUy turns 
 the box over. A lot of gold and silver coins roll out 
 on the ground. There is a few seconds' silence). 
 
 Brig. Holy shades of old Saint Patrick ! 
 
 Pat. Petrified pancakes ! ! ! {Turning to Nan.) In 
 the name of the seven sacred crocodiles : Say some- 
 thing ! ! ! 
 
 Nan (weakly). Well, I'll be flabbergasted ! 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 Time : Evening of same day, several hours later. 
 
 Place : Girls* room in hotel at Liverpool. 
 
 Scene: Bedroofn, furnished comfortably. Whe7i curtain 
 rises Kate is sewing, Mabel ivritifig, Judith seated 
 on the bed and Mrs. Barksdale and Clara 
 standing at window looking out. 
 
 Clara. I'm awfully worried about the girls 1 
 
 Kate {lookijig up from her sewifig) Pooh! I don't 
 see anything to be worried about ! Patty and Nan 
 are both old enough to take care of themselves. 
 
 Mrs. B. But there's no telling what might have 
 happened to them. I think I'll go and look for them. 
 Will one of you girls come with me ? 
 
 Clara. Yes, I will. 
 
 Mrs. B. [with her hand on door knob). Where's my 
 hat, Mabel ? 
 
 Mabel. If it isn't on my dresser it's behind the 
 trunk. {Exit Mrs. B. and Clara). 
 
 Judith. I think we should have waited at the 
 landing for Nan and Patty. 
 
 Mabel {thoughtfully biting the end of her pencil). 
 But we naturally supposed they had left and who 
 wouldn't have thought so ? When we got across there 
 was another boat at the landing beside ours, and when 
 
1^ THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 we started back 'twas gone. But that's what's worry- 
 ing me. I'm afraid the boat turned over with them — 
 you know neither one of them can swim. 
 
 Kate. How perfectly ridiculous 1 Mrs. Barksdale 
 and Clara will find them without any trouble. 
 
 Judith {giggling). I can't help thinking about 
 those men. 
 
 Mabel. What men ? 
 
 Judith. Those two men that the boat belonged to. 
 
 Mabel. Weren't they downright mad, though ? I 
 wish I could have understood some of their gibbering. 
 
 Kate. It's a good thing you didn't. I suppose 
 they were blessing us out in gentle language. What 
 are you writing, Mabel .'' 
 
 Mabel. A letter to Freddie. 
 
 Judith {giggling). Haven't you finished that letter 
 yet ? 
 
 Mabel. Oh, yes. This is another one, but I can't 
 think of anything to say. 
 
 Kate. Tell him that for your sake I hope he has 
 undergone a transformation since I saw him last. 
 
 Mabel. Maybe j^// do hope so, but I want him to 
 stay just as he is, thank you. 
 
 Kate. Oh 1 I know that 1 You aspire to nothing. 
 I can remember you used to have a wavering flicker 
 of ambition but your beloved Freddie came along and 
 blew it out and what might have been a bright flame 
 is only a heap of charred ashes, with one image in 
 view — Freddie. 
 
 Mabel. Well, Miss Smarty, just suppose you were 
 a measly little old flame of light and a nice-looking 
 fellow came along and blew real hard — wouldn't go 
 out? If I'm a heap of ashes it's because I can't help 
 myself, but there's one thing certain — ashes are per- 
 fectly harmless and fire burns sometime:. {Ejtter 
 Patty and Nan). Where on earth have you been ? 
 
 Pat. {removing hat). Oh, we've been out on a 
 lark. 
 
 Kate. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. 
 Mrs. Barksdale is awfully uneasy about you. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 17 
 
 Judith. Yes, she and Clara have gone to look for 
 you. 
 
 Nan. Have they .'* I'm certainly sorry about it 
 but it can't be helped. 
 
 Mabel. Please tell us where you've been ? 
 
 Pat. S'pose we tell them, Nan. 
 
 Nan. All right. They'll have to know sooner or 
 later so we might just as well tell them now. 
 
 Kate. I don't see why there should be any secret 
 about it. 
 
 Mabel. Please hurry and tell us. I'm just dying 
 to know. 
 
 Pat. Well, if you'll promise not to interrupt me. 
 
 All {except Nan). We won't ! 
 
 Pat. Here goes, then. Girls, we have had the 
 most marvellous kind of an adventure and if you don't 
 consider us heroes when you hear about it, just thump 
 your heads and see how vacant they sound on the in- 
 side. You all had just left and I was still sawing 
 
 away peacefully on that bloomin' old cake when 
 
 er {a slight pause). 
 
 {A slight pause.) 
 
 Kate {impatiently). Well, go on. 
 
 Pat. Do you think we really ought to tell them^ 
 Nan? 
 
 Nan. Yes, I 'spose we must. 
 
 Pat. Well, as I was just saying when you interrupted 
 me, Kate, I had almost finished whacking that cake to 
 pieces when our attention was attracted by the sound 
 of footsteps. We looked up and saw a regular side 
 show coming down the road. There was a ridiculous 
 looking woman with a big fan followed by four girls 
 and an Irish maid. The girls were rigged out in 
 short dresses and looked slightly overgrown — But, ladies 
 end gentlemen, there is one point here which I wish to 
 stress particularly — these four girls were actually eat- 
 ing our pickles. 
 
 Together {except Nan and Patty). Our pickles 1 
 
18 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Pat. Yes. Now isn't that enough to straighten 
 your kinky hair ? 
 
 Mabel. What on earth were they doing with our 
 pickles ? 
 
 Judith. Of all the nerve ! 
 
 Pat. {rapping 071 table). Order! Order ! Ladies and 
 gentlemen, I must speak now or forever hold my peace. 
 Which shall it be ? 
 
 Mabel. We won't interrupt you any more if you'll 
 only tell us how they happened to have the pickles. 
 
 Nan. As I am a second cousin of Dr. Watson's I 
 can explain that easily, They just found the basket and 
 helped themselves like any other sane sensible minded 
 girls would have done. Go on, Patty — we're wasting 
 time. 
 
 Pat. Well, when the four girls saw us, they dropped 
 their pickles and stared. The woman with the fan 
 looked as though she could have killed us with a good 
 grace. After a few gentle explosions she picked up 
 her sKirts and swept down the road followed by the 
 four girls. The Irish maid was the only one who cond- 
 escended to remain, and it was through her that we 
 found out everything*. You see it's this way — the four 
 girls are the daughters of Solomon Fresh — 
 All {together, except Nan and Patty). Solomon Fresh ! 
 
 Pat. Nan, if anybody interrupts me again please 
 suffocate them with a pillow. You know Mr. Fresh 
 has oodles and oodles of money, but he believes that 
 every girl should show that she is capable of support- 
 ing herself before she marries. He says that he was the 
 hrst man his wife ever saw and the fatality runs in the 
 family. He feels that the girls will inherit this weak- 
 ness for the opposite sex so he wants them to make at 
 least one hundred dolh.rs apiece by their own efforts 
 before they even look at a man. If they follow his 
 instructions, his money will be equally divided among 
 them, but if they fail to come up to expectations every 
 cent will go towards aiding the perfection of the air- 
 ship. That island where we had our picnic is the prop- 
 erty of Solomon Fresh, and the home of the Fresh 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 19 
 
 Sisters. It is guarded on all sides to prevent people 
 
 from going there. 
 
 Mabel. Then those were the guards that we 
 
 Pat. When the four girls were little chaps, Mr. Fresh 
 
 left them in charge of Maria Casterville and all these 
 
 years it has been her duty to keep them from knowing 
 
 the existence of man. 
 
 Mabel {i?t a horror-stricken voice). You don't mean 
 
 to say they don't know what a man is — why if I hadn't 
 
 seen Freddie 
 
 (Nan puts a pillow over her heaJ.) 
 
 Patty. The Fresh Sisters don't know that they are 
 free to marry the man of their choice if they follow the 
 requirements of the will. Maria Casterville has never 
 told them. Her reason for keeping it a secret from 
 them has been simply this — she is paid well for what 
 she does and she wants to keep the job. Brigida O'Brig- 
 gins, the Irish maid, dug up the will for us — It was 
 buried, you know — and that's how we found out its 
 contents. With the will there was buried stacks and 
 stacks of money to be used for the girl's expenses. You 
 see Maria Casterville has been keeping it for herself. 
 Now, girls, here comes the most startling part — Nan 
 and I thought it was our duty to rescue the poor fresh- 
 ies from the clutches of Maria Casterville, so we brought 
 them along with us. 
 
 Kate. Are you out of your head, Patty ? 
 
 Pat. Oh, no — not at all. 
 
 Judith. Well, what on earth do you mean ? 
 
 Pat. I mean that we did the brave and noble act 
 and rescued the poor girls,and they're here in the hotel 
 now. Why, Judith, you're as pale as a bucket of white- 
 wash. 
 
 Nan {spri?ikli?ig water in her face). There now — 
 don't get excited ? 
 
 Kate. Is this a made up story, or have you two 
 girls lost all the sense you ever possessed .'' 
 
 Pat. Neither one of the two, and if you want to get 
 grumpy about it — just hand yourself a transfer. 
 
^0 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Kate. But how perfectly outrageous and unreason- 
 able. What in Christendom are you going to do with 
 the four creatures ? 
 
 Pat. Just take it from me, Katrina, we'll attend to 
 that all right. 
 
 Nan. Yes, you needn't bother about it, Kate. 
 
 Kate. I must admit, it's certainly the freakiest 
 thing I ever heard of. 
 
 Mabel {clasping hands). Oh, I think it's lovely. 
 It's so unusual and novel. 
 
 Kate {sarcastically). Yes, it's a little too novel to 
 suit me. 
 
 Mabel. Honestly, Kate, if I were as impolite as 
 you are I'd go way off somewhere and fade away, 
 because an impolite person isn't welcome anywhere. 
 
 Judith {giggHf^g)- I'm just crazy to see the girls. 
 
 Kate. If I may venture to ask you one question, 
 will you answer it civilly ? 
 
 Pat. Certainly. If ycu ask it civilly. 
 
 Kate. Well, now that you've gotten yourselves into 
 this mess, how do you propose to get out of it ? 
 
 Pat. Oh, we've arranged all that. There's a town 
 named Clute about fifty miles from San Antonio. 
 Ever heard of it ? (Kate shakes her head) Well, 
 the town is surrounded by a high wall and no man has 
 ever been allowed to come on the inside of it. It is 
 inhabited by man-haters — some old maids, but most 
 of them divorced women, who after giving marriage a 
 trial, have found that they don't espouse the noble 
 cause of matrimony. Now, this is our plan. We want 
 to take the four girls over there and give them a 
 chance to make their $400, before they even look at 
 a man. 
 
 Kate. It's honestly ridiculous 1 Surely you don't 
 realize what you are undertaking. 
 
 Pat. We most assuredly do and that's why we've 
 told you about it. We want you to help us. 
 
 Kate. What do you take me for ? I certainly have 
 a little sense left, and you're mistaken, Patty, if you 
 think I am going to help you make fools of yourselves. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 21 
 
 Mabel. I'll be glad to help you all 1 can. That's 
 what I call real charity. 
 
 Judith {giggH'ig)- It's about the funniest thing I 
 ever heard of, but I'm with you. 
 
 Nan. {to Kate). Now all that remains is to con- 
 vince you that you are in the wrong. Of course we 
 can get along without you, but then we'd like for you 
 to share our honors, too. 
 
 Mabel. How do you intend to keep the four girls 
 in ignorance of the existence of boys on the voyage 
 over to America ? 
 
 Pat. Oh, w^e've figured that all out. You see, 
 fortunately we sail for home to-morrow. Well, in the 
 morning before leaving. Nan and I are going to buy 
 four pairs of goggles — the kind that chauffeurs wear. 
 Then we are going to have the glasses taken out of 
 them and black glazed glass put in, so that it will be 
 impossible to see through them. We'll get a cab with 
 curtains to take the four freshies down to the steamer 
 then we are going to convince them that their eyes 
 are weak and it is necessary for them to wear goggles 
 whenever they go out of doors. You see, Mabel, Nan, 
 Judith and I can lead them along. Of course when 
 they get in their staterooms they can take the goggles 
 off, but wdienever they go out on deck they'll have to 
 wear them. 
 
 Kate. Of all the foolishness I ever heard of, this 
 is the limit. Where do you expect to get the money 
 which will be necessary to carry out your plans ? 
 
 Nan. I thought we told you that Mr. Fresh left 
 lots of money to pay the four girls' expenses while on 
 the island. And you know none of this money has 
 been touched. 
 
 Mabel. Where is the money ? 
 
 Pat. We left it with the will down at the big bank 
 on the corner. 
 
 Mabel. Does that Casterville woman know that 
 the girls are gone ? 
 
 Nan. No, but she's probably found out about it by 
 this time, and I'll bet she's raising sand too. 
 
02 THK FOtTR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Kate. Why don't you give the girls all the freedom 
 they want, going over on the boat ? They'll see 
 enough of boys in that time to know that they don't 
 want to marry. 
 
 Pat. Don't you fool yourself, Katrina. Why, 
 Gee ? If we did that, they'd all be married to sailors 
 or waiters or head cooks before we got to America. 
 Then they'd be terribly poor all the rest of their lives. 
 But with our help they'll stay single till they have ful- 
 filled the requirements of the will and then the big 
 day's coming 1 You see we'll take them to San 
 Antonio and the rest of their lives will be one great 
 big gigantic jag of joy — they'll have all the money they 
 want and they can marry whoever they please. Now, 
 what do you think of that ? 
 
 Kate. Oh, well, I suppose you think you're doing 
 right but then — er 
 
 Mabel. I sa}^, Kate, why don't you help them out ? 
 
 Kate {after considering). Well, I don't know that 
 it would be any harm. 
 
 Pat. But listen. Don't say you're going to help 
 us if you don't mean it — because whatever you do, 
 don't be a trailer — be yourself ! 
 
 Mabel. You'll help them, won't you, Kate ? 
 
 Kate. Yes, I guess so. 
 
 Nan. I thought you'd see your mistake. 
 
 Pat. I gave the girls some dresses and told them 
 to take off those ridiculous costumes Maria Casterville 
 made them wear. I will see if they are through dress- 
 ing and if they are I'll bring them in and introduce 
 them to you. 
 
 Judith. Oh, goody 1 I'm just crazy to see them. 
 
 {Exit Patty.) 
 
 Mabel. What are their names ? 
 
 Nan. Athena, Pandora, Socratesia and Aphrodite. 
 Rather queer, aren't they? 
 
 Judith {giggling). I never heard such funny names 
 in all my life. 
 
 Kate. They are unusual. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 23 
 
 Mabel. What do you 'spose Mrs. Barksdale will say- 
 when she hears about it ? 
 
 Kate. She'll be simply thunderstruck and I'm 
 afraid she won't like it, at all. It sounds so perfectly 
 impossible. 
 
 Mabel. I don't believe she'll care a bit after she 
 thinks about it a little while. You know she likes un- 
 usual things about as well as Nan and Patty do. 
 
 Nan. Please ring for some ice-water, Judith. I just 
 happened to remember that I'am awfully thirsty. 
 
 (Judith presess button. Enter Patty, folIoTved by Pan- 
 dora, Athena, Socratesia and Aphrodite.) 
 
 Pat. Now, girls, this is Athena, this is Socratesia, 
 this is Aphrodite, and here's Pandora, but we're going 
 to call her Pandy for short. 
 
 Mabel. Sit down, girls — we're so glad to have you 
 with us. 
 
 Aphro. I do believe I'm dreaming. P!^verything is 
 so strange. 
 
 Pandv. It seems so good not to have Maria Caster- 
 ville around. 
 
 Socrat. {putting one m-m arou7id Patty a7id the other 
 around Nan). And you two brave and noble girls res- 
 cued us. You will surely be rewarded for it. 
 
 Pat {ivinking at Kate). See ? 
 
 Socrat. We were like four withered flowers pining 
 for want of fresh air and you two have brought us the 
 sunshine necessary to make us lift our drooping heads 
 and take a deep breath of the fragrance of life. 
 
 Mabel {to Judith). Oh, how lovely 1 I'll bet she writes 
 poetry. 
 
 Athena {picks up pencil and paper from table and 
 turns to Mabel). Oh ! please stay just as you are. 
 You'll make a lovely picture ! {Starts drawing and 
 Mabel is immovable.) 
 
 Aphro. You see Athena is an artist. She can 
 draw pictures that look just like you. 
 
 Judith. How nice ! 
 
 Socrat. 'Tis indeed a great talent to be able to 
 
24 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 transform a lifeless piece of paper into the image of 
 a living, breathing human being. 
 
 {Somebody knocks on do oj- from outside.) 
 
 Pat. {excitedly!). Petrified pancakes ! It's the porter ! 
 {Runs to door aJid puts her 77iouth to the keyhole^ Say, 
 please go away — we don't want you. 
 
 Nan. He has some ice-water, Patty. 
 
 Pat. Oh, has he ? 
 
 ( Opens door just the least bit, takes pitcher — shuts door 
 and locks it. ) 
 
 Pandy. What is a porter ? 
 
 Kate. A porter is a boy who waits on people. 
 
 Pandy. Well, what is a boy ? 
 
 Nan {threateni7igly aside to Kate). Keep quiet, 
 Kate. 
 
 Kate. A boy is a — a — an article who thinks it is 
 everything and fails to be anything. 
 
 Pandy. What does it look like ? 
 
 Nan. Oh, it's just an ordinary looking animal. 
 
 {]\5mi:YL giggles.) 
 
 Pat. {passi?ig around 7aater). Have you finished your 
 picture, yet, Athena ? 
 
 Athena. Yes, almost. 
 
 Mabel. Let's see it. Oh, how lovely 1 I'm going 
 to send it to Freddie. 
 
 Pandy. Who's Freddie ? 
 
 Mabel. Oh, he's a boy — er — I mean she's a girl 
 friend of mine. 
 
 SocRAT. Ah ! It is the essence of pleasure to have 
 friends — is it not ? They help to smooth out the wrin- 
 kles of worry and fill the paths of joy with sunshine. 
 
 Mabel {looking out of window). Oh, here comes 
 Mrs. Barksdale and Clara. 
 
 Nan. Gracious ! What are we going to do ? 
 
 Kate, I'll fix that ! Patty, you and Nan stay here 
 and talk this matter over together. Come with me all 
 of you girls. {Tur7ii?ig to Patty a7id talking in whisper.) 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 25 
 
 I'll take these girls to their rooms and leave Mabel and 
 Judith to watch them. Then I'll go downstairs, meet 
 Mrs. Barksdale and explain matters to her. 
 Pat. Good for you, Kate. 
 
 {^Exit Kate, the fojir Fresh Sisters, Judith afid 
 Mabel.) 
 
 Pat. Kate's a trump when she wants to be, isn't she ? 
 
 Nan. She certainly is. I hope she'll make things 
 all right with Mrs. Barksdale. 
 
 Pat. I do too. If we can just get heron our side, 
 it will be clear sailing after that. 
 
 Nan. Patty, now honestly, just between me and you, 
 don't you think we've made a mistake in trying to un- 
 dertake this wild goose chase, as Kate calls it ? Do you 
 think we are going to accomplish what we want to ? 
 
 Pat. Of course we are, Nan. Surely you're not 
 going to become a backslider this late in the game ? 
 
 Nan. No, I didn't say I was, but nevertheless it's 
 going to be a lot of trouble and work. 
 
 Pat. I know it's going to be a lot of trouble and 
 you have to work to accomplish anything. Taft didn't 
 become President of the United States just thinking 
 about it. 
 
 (Somebody knocks on door. Patty opens it.) 
 
 Voice (outside). A card for you. Miss. 
 (Patty takes card and reads). 
 
 Pat. Shiverin' Sardines ! Nan, it's Maria Caster- 
 ville. 
 
 Nan. {with a low whistle of astonishment). We've 
 gotten ourselves into it now 1 
 
 Pat. (to the Porter outside). Show the lady in 
 here. (Shuts door). She'll probably blaze us out in 
 a voice full of brick-bats, so we'd better not go down 
 in the parlor. It's too public a place for a scene. 
 
 Nan. I'm frightened nearly to death, Patty. Just 
 feel my hand. It's as cold as ice. 
 
 Pat. I'm scared myself — but there's not a bit of 
 
26 T^HE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 danger. She can't do anything to us and besides we 
 have the four girls on our side. 
 
 Nan. The hateful old thing 1 I don't blame the 
 girls for wanting to get away from her. 
 
 Pat. You just wait — we'll settle her hash. 
 
 {Enter Maria C aster ville with her fan, as usual). 
 
 Maria. This is atrocious ! Contemptibly atro- 
 cious I 
 
 Patty. Is that all you have to say I I'm glad you 
 take it so calmly. 
 
 Maria, (stamping her foot). I demand the return 
 of the four Fresh sisters immediately ! 
 
 Patty. I'm sorry, but we can't part with them. 
 
 Maria {aiigrily). You contemptible young viper 
 you 1 Unless you tell me where they are, I'll report 
 you to the police and have you arrested ! 
 
 Pat. You'll change your tune when I tell you that 
 I have possession of the will of Solomon Fresh ! I / 
 
 Maria {dropping her fan and grasp ifig a chair for 
 support). The will ! Surely you haven't the will I 
 
 Pat. I certainly have. I can tell you everything 
 that's in it. You have been a false, contemptible 
 woman.. You have kept money for yourself that should 
 have been used for the expenses of the girls and you've 
 kept the requirements of the will a secret from them in 
 order to keep your position. Now contradict that if 
 you can. 
 
 Maria {starts toward door and stops). It's a lie and 
 I'll have my revenge I 
 
 Pat. {pointifig to door). There's the door. I'd ad- 
 vise you to go through it. 
 
 {Exit Maria Casterville.) 
 
 Curtain. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 27 
 
 ACT III. 
 Time : Morning. 
 Place : Clute. 
 
 Scene : Roo7n fixed up as a store^ with dififerent articles 
 for sale^ soda water, ice cream, etc., etc., with counter. 
 Athena is seated on counter, drawing. Aphrodite 
 making a soda drink, Socratesia watching her, a?id 
 Pandy wiping glasses. They ail wear aprons. 
 
 Eftter Nan. 
 
 Nan. Well, girls, how's business ? 
 
 Aphro. I'm afraid it isn't going to be good to-day. 
 
 Pandy. You see most everybody's out of town on 
 a picnic. 
 
 Aphro. Want something to drink ? 
 
 Nan {^sitting down). Yes. I have such a cold that 
 I can't taste anything, so give me whatever you have 
 the most of. What are you drawing, Athena ? 
 
 Athena {holds out picture). I'm copying a picture. 
 
 Nan. That's fine. Say, how do you girls like your 
 new occupation ? 
 
 Socrat. We're charmed with it ! Oh, it's delight- 
 ful to be able to quench the thirst of a weary woman. 
 It is a charitable calling and a noble trade. 
 
 (Nan begins drinking soda water.) 
 {Enter Mrs. R. a7id Clara.) 
 
 Mrs. B. {looks around). Good morning, girls. What 
 a nice place you have ! 
 
 Clara {sinking dow7i on stool). Really, I feel as 
 though I'm going to faint. 
 
 Mrs. B. Give her something to drink, Pandy. It 
 will do her good. 
 
 Pandy. Don't you want something too, Mrs. Barks- 
 dale? 
 
 Mrs. B. No, dear, not now. I'll take something 
 after while. 
 
28 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 {Enter Patty.) 
 
 Pat. Hello, girls I Why, how did you get here, 
 Mrs. Barksdale? 
 
 Mrs. B. Clara and I came down in Mr. Ford's 
 electric 
 
 Pat. It's the first time you've been here, isn't it ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Yes. I intended coming sooner but 
 haven't had time. 
 
 Aphro. We're so glad you came. 
 
 Nan. You'll have to take in the town. Clute's a 
 rather interesting place, you know. 
 
 Pat. Do you remember Dr. Oliver's daughter, Mrs. 
 Barksdale ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Why, of course I do. 
 
 Pat. Well, she's in San Antonio now. 
 
 Clara. Is she the one that's so rich ? 
 
 Pat. Oh, no, just wealthy enough to steer clear of 
 her poor relatives. She's kinder stingy, you know, 
 and she used to be so afraid that somebody would ask 
 her to loan them money that she went out to Colorado 
 where she didn't know anybody and lived by herself. 
 
 Socrat. Perhaps she preferred the solitude of the 
 simple life. 
 
 Pat. No, she was just downright stingy. 
 
 Nan. Maybe she was, but couldn't she give you 
 good things to eat, though ? 
 
 Pat. Please don't talk about anything good to eat, 
 Nan. I haven't had a decent square meal since Mrs. 
 Herff's luncheon at the Country Club. Shiverin' Sar- 
 dines ! But wasn't that fruit salad the best you ever 
 tasted ? 
 
 Nan. It certainly was. 
 
 Mrs. B. How do you feel, Clara ? 
 
 Clara. Really, I think I'm in a very critical con- 
 dition. 
 
 Mrs. B. I'm going to tell your mother to keep you 
 on a diet of raw eggs. I've heard of cases where they 
 proved wonderfully beneficial. 
 
 Clara. I'm afraid they wouldn't help me any. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 29 
 
 I've tried so many things and I don't seem to get any 
 better. I just can't help worrying about myself. 
 
 Nan. You ought to practice Christian Science and 
 learn that you mustn't court trouble — court a boy. 
 It's the same thing. 
 
 ( The 'phone rings.) 
 
 Pat. I'll answer it. 
 
 {Takes down receiver ^ others continue talking.^ 
 
 Mrs. B. What are you thinking about, Aphrodite ? 
 
 Aphro. I was just wishing I could see Brigida 
 O'Briggins again. 
 
 Nan. But you don't want to go back to the island, 
 do you ? 
 
 Aphro. Of course I don't want to go back, but then 
 I do get a little lonesome for the place sometimes. 
 
 Socrat. So do I. 'Tis the idealism of life to live 
 in the presence of nature — to go out into the cool 
 shady pathw^ays of the forest, to pluck the timid blush- 
 ing wild flower, to hear the brittle leaves gently crush- 
 ing beneath your footsteps, to see the startled squirrel 
 spring up the vine-clad tree, to watch the sunbeams 
 dancing in their joyful sprightliness, and at last to find 
 a mossy seat beneath some sheltering oak, to drink in 
 the fresh, cool, fragrance of the dewy atmosphere, and 
 to marvel at the wonderful mechanism of nature. 
 
 Nan. Gee ! That sounds Hke Shakespeare, doesn't 
 it? 
 
 Pat {%vho has hung up the receiver and looks slightly 
 agitated). Mrs. Barksdale, wouldn't you like to see 
 something of the town before you leave ? 
 
 Mrs. B. Yes, Patty, I certainly would. 
 
 Pat. Well, Pandy, you four girls take Mrs. Barks- 
 dale out and show her the sights. The rest of us will 
 stay here while you're gone. 
 
 Pandy. Oh, how nice of you ! I was just dying to 
 get outside. It's so nice and sunshiny. {They all 
 take off aprons except Athena and she contifiues drawiTig.) 
 
 Socrat.. Yes, it's a glorious day. All of nature's 
 children are dressed in their gayest costumes. 
 
30 
 
 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Pandy {starting towards door). Come on, Mrs. 
 Barksdale. Hurry up, Athena. 
 
 Athena. I don't want to go. I'd rather stay and 
 finish my picture. 
 
 Patty. Oh, but you must. The exercise will do 
 you good. 
 
 Aphro. You can finish drawing that when you come 
 
 back. 
 
 Athena {reluctantly taking off her apron). All right. 
 I suppose I do need a little fresh air. 
 
 Clara. I think I'll go too. I believe the walk will 
 do me good. 
 
 Mrs. B. We won't stay long, girls. 
 
 [Exit the four Fresh Sisters, Clara attd Mrs. B. 
 
 Patty. What do you think, Nan ? Maria Caster- 
 ville is in town. 
 
 Nan. Maria Casterville. 
 
 Patty. Yes, Maria Casterville. 
 
 Nan. How do you know ? 
 
 Patty. Kate juet 'phoned me that she was, and 
 that's not all, either. You remember. Nan, she told 
 me she was going to have her revenge. Well, what 
 do you 'spose she's up to ? She secretly came here to 
 Clute several days ago and she's gotten in with Mrs. 
 Orliff, the Mayor of the town, and persuaded her that 
 the place would improve lots faster if she would just 
 allow a few men to come in and build up things. Of 
 course the men are willing to come just for the fun of 
 the thing. So sometime to-night the gates are going 
 to be opened and a crowd of boys are coming out from 
 San Antonio in their machines. You see Maria Cas- 
 terville is deliberately trying to ruin our plans. Now 
 isn't that enough to give a chicken the toothache ? 
 
 Nan. It's perfectly outrageous ! The contemptible 
 old mess! I just hate her, anyway. Let's don't give 
 up, though. We've gone this far and we just must 
 succeed. It's our duty to see that those girls finish 
 making their $400 before night comes. 
 
 Pat. Yes, and we'll do it if it kills us. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 31 
 
 Nan. They've made quite a lot of money already, 
 haven't they ? 
 
 Pat. Yes, I think so, but then we want to be on 
 the safe side. Kate, Mabel and Judith will be down 
 here in a few minutes, and we're just going to buy out 
 the whole soda fountain. But won't Maria Casterville 
 be disappointed, though ! 
 
 Nan. And won't we have a grand celebration to- 
 night I Do you know I'm glad that Casterville woman 
 is going to stir up things, for it will make us get to work 
 in dead earnest. 
 
 Pat. Yes, that's the truth, because if you know you 
 just naturally have to do a thing within a certain length 
 of time, you usually end up by doing it. 
 
 Nan. Did you say Mabel was coming too ? 
 
 Patty. Yes. 
 
 Nan. By the way, did you know that she and 
 Freddie are going to be married next month ? 
 
 Pat. I'm glad to hear it. If she waits much longer 
 all her friends will be in the poorhouse. 
 
 Nan. Why ? 
 
 Pat. Because she's had only twenty linen showers. 
 Just draw your jown conclusions. 
 
 {Enter Kate, Judith and Mabel. Girls greet each 
 other effusively). 
 
 Mabel. Well, what do you girls think of Maria 
 Casterville's little game ? It looks as though she means 
 war, doesn't it ? 
 
 Pat. Yes, but the poor old girl's going to get the 
 worst of it. We'll do some tall old fighting before we 
 give up. 
 
 Mabel. I don't think there's any danger of us hav- 
 ing to give up, though. Of course they'll make the 
 $400 all right. Just think ! I told Freddie about it and 
 he said to give them an order for twenty freezers of 
 cream to be sent to him at San Antonio. He said to 
 put lots of cherries and nuts in it. You know he wants 
 it to be real expensive. I have the money here — in my 
 purse — to pay for it in advance. Isn't he a dear ? 
 
32 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Kate. That is right nice of him. 
 
 Pat. It certainly will help out a lot, but we'll 
 have to get busy anyway. You can't run anything long 
 with a force of hot air. It takes a little concentration. 
 My friend Mike Kinney says whenever nature really 
 wants to do anything she concentrates. For instance 
 take a cyclone. That is nothing but concentrated wind. 
 A gentle spring zephyr just floating around never at- 
 tracts much attention, but let a few of these zephyrs 
 get together and decide to do business — then look 
 out. 
 
 {Enter Clara and the four Ykesh Sisters who speak to 
 Girls a?td then start putting on their aprons). 
 
 Nan. You certainly did get back in a hurry. Where 
 is Mrs. Barksdale ? 
 
 Aphro. Clara was so tired that we had to bring her 
 back and Mrs. Barksdale thought she had better go 
 home as it is rather late. 
 
 Judith. We are awfully thirsty, so please give us 
 sotnething to drink. 
 
 (Aphrodite, Pandora a7id Socratesia begin mixing 
 drinks. Athena resumes her drawing). 
 
 Pat. Did you show Mrs. Barksdale the water- 
 melon patch down on the corner, Pandy ? 
 
 Pandy. Yes. 
 
 Nan. You just ought to see it, Kate. It's wonder- 
 ful how things grow down in this country. 
 
 Pat. It certainly is. Those watermelon vines 
 grow in such a hurry that all the rind gets rubbed off 
 of the little melons trailing along behind. 
 
 (Girls laugh) 
 
 Mabel. I didn't know you had a dimple, Judith. 
 Freddie says it's awfully hard for a fellow to tell when 
 a girl laughs whether she really means it or is just try- 
 ing to show off a dimple. (Judith giggles). You don't 
 keep Martinis, do you, Socratesia ? 
 
 Socrat. No. We are strictly temperate. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Mabel. Give me a lemonade, then. 
 
 Kate. There was a fellow in one of McCutcheon's 
 books who used to get his at a restaurant where the 
 waiters were all Dutch and he complained that when- 
 ever he ordered dry Martini they always brought him 
 three. 
 
 Nan. Poor fellow ! I suppose he did his complain- 
 ing after the bill came in. 
 
 Pat {sitting down luith a saucer of cream in one hand 
 and a glass of soda ivater in the other). Gee 1 but this 
 cream is good. 
 
 Judith {handing her glass to Pandy). I'll take some 
 more, Pandy. I never was quite as thirsty in my life. 
 
 Pandy {to Judith). Do you know I didn't think 
 you were a bit pretty when I first saw you, but I think 
 you're real nice-looking now. 
 
 Judith {giggling). How funny ! I'm glad you think 
 so. 
 
 Patty. That's perfectly explainable. Circumstan- 
 ces alter faces, you know. 
 
 {I)uri7ig conversation the girls are constantly having their 
 glasses afid saucers t'cfilled.) 
 
 Mabel. Yes, that is the truth, because when I first 
 met Freddie I thought he was hideous, and now; 
 
 Kate {ijiterrupting). Oh, never mind about telling 
 us what you think now. We know you think he is a 
 second Apollo, and that he ought to have his head done 
 in bronze and stuck up on every street corner in San 
 Antonio. Really, Mabel, I cannot understand how you 
 happened to fall in love with Freddie. He is such an 
 ignoramus. 
 
 Mabel. Freddie's not an ignoramus. Why, he's 
 even brighter than / am. 
 
 Kate. Well, I hope so. You don't even know the 
 seven wonders of the world. 
 
 Mabel. What will you bet that I don't ? 
 
 Kate. I won't bet anything. I'll just see. Now 
 tell us the seven wonders of the world and describe 
 each one. 
 

 34 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Mabel. Describe them ! Why, I didn't say I could 
 describe them, did I ? 
 
 Clara. Unless you know a thing thoroughly yoa 
 might as well not know it at all. 
 
 Mabel. Well, here goes then. The first wonder is 
 — er — wait a minute, let me see. Oh, yes ! The first 
 wonder is the Hanging Gardens of Doubtfulness. The 
 gardens are suspended on wire ropes and are full of 
 beautiful looking flowers, but if you examine the flow- 
 ers closely you find that it is difficult to tell whether 
 they are cultivated flowers or just common old weeds, 
 I think the gardens were built by Nebercennezer or 
 some of those fellows in the Bible. 
 
 Clara. What holds them up ? 
 
 Mabel. I told you they were suspended on wire 
 ropes. 
 
 Clara. Yes, but what holds the ropes up ? 
 
 Mabel {impatiently). Oh, slush! Anybody ought 
 to know that. Why they are hitched on to telephone 
 posts of course. Now the second wonder of the world 
 is the Labyrinth of Perplexity. It's a cave all full of 
 twists and turns and lots of people have been lost in 
 it. Next corpes the Colossus of Hope. It's a statue 
 holding a light and peering into the darkness. Then 
 comes the Temple of Love. It's a great big marble 
 palace and you have to select a guide to take you 
 through it. It's just like heaven inside. It is all full 
 of Cupids who run around and wait on you, and the 
 furniture is made in the shape of hearts. {Aside to 
 Patty.) Was that right ? 
 
 Pat. I don't know. I suppose it was. 
 
 Kate {interrupting her). Never mind about the 
 rest. You know them. 
 
 Judith. Where did you learn so much, Mabel ? 
 
 Mabel. Oh, part of it is hereditary and I learned 
 the rest at Bonn Avon. 
 
 Nan. Clara, aren't you going to drink anything 
 else ? 
 
 Clara. Of course not, and you girls are going to 
 be terribly ill if you don't stop. 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 35 
 
 Pat. {after cautiously pouring her soda water into a 
 bucket which is on the floor near her.) I haven't had 
 near enough yet. {Hands g/ass to Aphrodite) I'll 
 take a " coke " for a change, Aphy, and listen, fix me 
 up a freezer of grape sherbet. I have a sick friend in 
 San Antonio that I want to take it to. 
 
 Aphro. Can't you get it there 'i 
 
 Clara. Of course she can. They keep anything 
 you want at Wagner's. 
 
 Pat. Oh, I know — but I won't have time to stop 
 by there to-night. 
 
 Clara. I don't see why. It's all foolishness to 
 buy it here and besides there's not enough room in the 
 machine for it. 
 
 Pat. Look here, Clara, you just run your own little 
 dinky one horse peanut stand and I'll run mine. In 
 other words, 'tend to your own business. 
 
 {Enter Brigida O'Briggins, very gaudily dressed and 
 carrying a carpet bag, ivhich she drops at the door. 
 She runs up to the girls and embraces the?n very af- 
 fectionately.) 
 
 Brig. Howling Mither of Moses ! ! ! . Shure and 
 Brigida is gloid to see her own darlin' lambs once 
 more. 
 
 Pandy. When did you come .<* 
 
 Aphro. How did you get here? 
 
 Socrat. We're so glad to see you ! 
 
 Athena. Why didn't you let us know you were 
 coming ? 
 
 Brig. Shure and I'm top mixed up to answer ques- 
 tions. 
 
 Judith {giggling, aside to Mabel). Isn't she funny ? 
 
 Pat. {to Brigida). Well, come on and have a 
 drink with us, then. 
 
 Brig. No, I niver drink. Miss. I belong to the 
 Wimmin's Timperance Union. Me husband Patrick 
 drank enough to keep us both drunk all the rist of our 
 lives. Shure and he could niver tell the difference be- 
 tween a push cart and a peanut wagun. 
 
36 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 Nan {laughing and handing her a glass of soda water). 
 Oh, but this won't make you drunk. It hasn't a bit 
 of whiskey in it. It's soda water. 
 
 Brig, {tasting it). Shure and it's good. Now, me 
 angels, I'll till you how I happen to be here. Your 
 own litter arrived saying as how you were lonesome to 
 see me and I make up me moind to come to you and 
 surprise you. 
 
 Pandy. But, Brigida, where is Maria Casterville ? 
 
 Brig. Shure and she's right here in the same town 
 with you. 
 
 Aphro. What ! Maria Casterville here I 
 
 SoCRAT. Surely you must be mistaken, Brigida. 
 
 Brig. No, niver was I more certain of a thing, and 
 she's up to some divilment, too. 
 
 Athena {to Patty). Maybe she wants to get us 
 back. You won't let her take us, will you? 
 
 Pat. No, never. I'll protect you with this strong 
 right arm of mine. 
 
 Mabel. And if it's necessary to have a man to 
 protect you, I'll 'phone for Freddie to come down here. 
 
 Pandy. I'm going to ask you an honest question 
 and I want an honest answer. What is a man? And 
 who is Freddie ? (Girls look at each other in ainaze- 
 meni.) You may think I'm an idiot, but I'm not one. 
 
 Pat. The game's up, girls. We might as well tell 
 them. They'll know to-night, anyway. {Takes a 
 bunch of keys fi'om wall a7id hands them to Nan.) Here, 
 Nan, go over there and open the bank and count the 
 money. {^^^ proceeds to follow iustnictio7is.) 
 
 Judith {followifig he?-). I'll help you. 
 
 Pat. Now, Pandy, a man is — is — er — a man is a 
 fellow who takes the place of a meal ticket. 
 
 Pandy {shaking her head): I don't understand yet. 
 
 Pat. Petrified pancakes ! Tell her what a man is, 
 Kate. 
 
 Kate. A man is a human being who excels woman 
 in only one thing — his own estimation. He is a com- 
 bination of egotism and egoism and 
 
 Mabel {interrupting). Kate, how ca7i you say such 
 
THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 37 
 
 things ? There's not a word of it true, Pandy. A man 
 is the most perfectly lovable creature on earth. If you 
 could only see Freddie, you'd think so too. 
 
 Pandy. Is Freddie a man ? 
 
 Mabel. Yes, and you see Freddie loves me and I 
 love him and we both love each other so we're going 
 to be married 1 
 
 Pandy. Married 1 What does that mean ? 
 
 Pat. Marriage means getting into a lot of trouble 
 because you haven't sense enough to stay out of it. It 
 means cooking, dish-washing, house cleaning, mending, 
 darning and sewing on buttons. 
 
 {Exit Kate.) 
 
 Mabel. Patty, I'd be ashamed of myself. It doesn't 
 mean anything of the kind. It means having a nice 
 little home of your own and somebody to love you all 
 of your life. 
 
 Brig. No, Miss, you are mistaken — I lived with 
 me old man Patrick for twinty years and niver had 
 nayther av the two. 
 
 {Eiiter Kate.) 
 
 Kate {excitedly). Hurry, girls, and finish counting 
 the money. The boys have come already. I heard 
 them give nine 'rahs for Clute as they came through the 
 gate. Of course they'll come here to the drug store 
 the first thing. {Looking up from her counti?ig) Oh, 
 it will be all right. There's going to be some left 
 over. 
 
 Pat. {helping them count). But we w/zi"/ hurry and 
 get through before they come. 
 
 Clara. What's all the excitement about ? 
 
 Aphro. Why are you in such a hurry to count the 
 money ? 
 
 Judith. Here's a hundred and ten in this pile and 
 fifty in this — that makes — let me see — one hundred 
 and sixty— How much have you, Mabel ? 
 
 Mabel. A hundred and seventy-five. 
 
 Nan. And here's ^75.10. {takes pencil and piece of 
 
38 THE FOUR INNOCENTS. 
 
 paper and figures it out.) Hurrah ! That makes 
 $409.10. 
 
 Kate. We've made a success, girls — a howHng 
 success ! Just think 1 $409.10 and some left over. 
 
 Nan. I just feel like shouting! I'm afraid the 
 poor airship will never be perfected. 
 
 Mabel. If Freddie were only here ! 
 
 Pat. {holding up a glass of j'ed soda water). Here's 
 to the downfall of Maria Casterville and the success of 
 the four Freshies ! 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
J 
 
er SEND FOR A NEW DESCRIPTIVE CATALOaUB. 
 
 VOL. XLI. 
 
 321 Th« Plrate'i Lesacj 
 
 322 Th« Charcoal Burnw 
 823 AJelgitha 
 
 324 Soiior Valiente 
 825 Forest Ro3« 
 82« Duke'i Da>ight«r 
 S27 Camilla's Husband 
 328 Pure <Jold 
 
 VOL. XLIL 
 89S Ticket of Leave Man 
 830 Fool'j Revenge 
 
 331 O'lNeil tbe Great 
 
 332 Handy Andy 
 
 333 Pirate of the Isle* 
 
 334 Fanchon 
 
 335 Little Barefoot 
 338 Wild Irish GiH 
 
 VOL. XLIII. 
 
 337 Pearl of Savoy 
 
 338 Dead Heart 
 
 339 Ten Nights in a Bar-room 
 
 340 Dumb Boy of Manchester 
 
 341 Belphe^or theMounteb'k 
 
 342 Cricliet on the Hearth 
 
 343 Printer's Devil 
 
 344 Meg's Diversion 
 
 {Frenches Standard Drama Continued from 2d page of Cover.) 
 
 VOL. XLIV, 
 348 Drunkard's Doom 
 
 346 Chimney Corner 
 
 347 Fifteen Years of a Drunk 
 
 348 No Thoroughfare [ ard'i 
 
 349 Peep O' Day LLife 
 
 350 Everybody's Friend 
 
 351 Gen. Grant 
 
 362 Katlileen Mavoumeen 
 
 VOL. XLV. 
 353 Nick Whiffles 
 364 Fruits of the Wine Cup 
 35& Drunkard's Warning 
 
 356 Temperance Doctor 
 
 357 Aunt Dinah 
 
 358 Widow Freeheart 
 
 359 Frou Frou 
 
 360 Lens Strike 
 VOL. XLVI. 
 
 361 Larcers 
 Lu'ille 
 Randall's Thumb 
 
 364 Wicked WoHd 
 
 365 Two Orphans 
 
 366 Colleen B:iwn 
 
 VOL. XLVIl. 
 
 369 Saratoga 
 
 370 Never Too Late to Mend 
 
 371 Lily of France 
 
 372 Led Astray 
 
 373 Henry V 
 
 374 Unequal Match 
 76 May or Dolly'* Delusion 
 76 Allatoona 
 
 VOL. XLVIIL 
 
 377 Enoch Arden 
 
 378 Under the Gai Light 
 
 379 Daniel Rochat 
 
 380 Caste 
 
 351 School 
 
 352 Home 
 David Garrick 
 Ours 
 
 VOL. XLIX. 
 3<j5 Social Glass 
 
 386 Daniel Druca ■''' 
 
 387 Two Roses 
 Adrienne 
 
 389 Tbe Bell* 
 
 390 Uncle 
 
 367 'Twixt Axe and Crown 1.391 Courtship 
 
 Lady Claticarthy 392 Not Such a i"ooI 
 
 TOL. L. 
 
 398 Fine Feather* 
 394 Prompter's Box 
 396 Iron M.\8ter 
 896 Engaged 
 
 h97 Pygmalion & Galate* 
 3»3 Leah 
 
 399 Scrap of Paper 
 
 400 Lost in London 
 VOL. M. 
 
 401 Octoroon 
 
 402 Confederate Spy 
 
 403 Mariner's Return 
 
 404 Ruined by Drink 
 
 405 Dream* 
 
 406 M. P. 
 
 407 War 
 
 408 Birth 
 VOL. LIL 
 
 409 Nightingale 
 
 410 Progres* 
 Play 
 
 412 Midnight Charge 
 "A Confidential Clerk 
 
 414 Snowball 
 
 415 Our Reuitnenv 
 
 416 Married for Money 
 Hamlet in Three Act* 
 Guttle & Qulpit 
 
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 OF THE WORKS OF THE BEST AUTHORS. 
 
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 A Pair of spectacles, comedy in 8 Acts 
 by SvDNiiv Grundy, author of " Sowing the Wind," 
 Ac. 8 male, 3 female characters. 
 
 A POOL'S PARADISK. An original play In S 
 Acts by SvDNKv Gritm Y, author of ''Sowing the 
 Wind," Ac. 5 male, 4 fem.ile characters. 
 
 THE SILVFR SHIELD. An original comedy in 
 8 Act? by Syhnkv Grundy, author of "Sowing the 
 Wind," Ac. 5 male, 3 female characters. 
 
 THE OLAS8 OF FASHION-. An original com- 
 edy in 4 Acts bySviNfv < .rundy, author of "Sowing 
 the Wind," &c. 6 male. 5 female characters. 
 
 THE BALLOON. Farcical comedy In 8 Acts by J. 
 
 H. Darni.ky and Manville Fbnn. 6 mala, 4 female 
 
 characters. 
 MISS CLEOPATRA. Farce in 8 A«t« by Abthi/b 
 
 Shiblky. 7 male, 8 female characters. 
 SIX PERSONS. Comedy Act by I. Zangwill, 
 
 1 male, 1 female character. 
 FASHIONABLE INTELLIQINCE. Comedi- 
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 cha .acter. 
 HIOHLAND LEGACY. Comedy In 1 Act by 
 
 Brandon Thomas, author of "Charley'* Aunt." 
 
 6 male, 2 female characters. 
 
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 Baker's Reading Chib 
 
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 Costume Book* 
 Crape Hair 
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 ''•'^cutlon, Reciters and Speaker* 
 iopian Drama* 
 
 Evenins's Entertainment 
 
 Fairy and Home Vlays 
 
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 French's Editions 
 
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 French's Parlor Comedies 
 
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 French's Standard and Minor Drama, 
 
 bound 
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 Make-Up Book 
 Make-Up Box 
 Mock Trial 
 
 Mrs. Jarley's Wax Work* 
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 Webster's Acting Edition 
 
 Wigs,, etc. 
 
 {Frenches Minor Drama Continued from 4th page of Cover.) 
 
 I Love 
 [Letter 
 
 1 IK 
 
 VOL. XLT 
 
 Adventures of 
 ■ ost Child 
 Court Cards 
 Cox and Box 
 I'ortv Winks 
 Wonderful Woman 
 Curious Case 
 Tweedleton'i Tail Coat 
 
 VOL. XLIL 
 
 329 As Like as Two Peas 
 
 330 Presumptive Evidence 
 831 Happy Band 
 
 332 Pinafore 
 S33 Mock Trial 
 
 334 My Uncle's Will 
 
 335 Happy '^a^r 
 886 My Turn Next 
 
 VOL. XLHL 
 
 337 Sunset 
 
 338 For Half a Million 
 
 339 C ble Car 
 :140 Eirly Bird 
 
 341 Alumni Play 
 
 342 Show of Hands 
 
 343 Barbara 
 
 344 Who's Who 
 
 VOL. XLIV. 
 
 345 Who's To Win Him 
 
 346 Which i s Which 
 
 347 Cup of Tea 
 
 SI'S Sarah's Young Man 
 
 349 Hearts 
 
 350 In Honor Bound [Law 
 
 351 Freezing a Mother-in- 
 362 My Lord In Livery 
 
 VMUEL FRENCH, 28=30 West 38th Street, New York City. 
 
 Nenr and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue MaMed "ree on RequMt. 
 
FRENCH'S MINOR DRAMA. 
 
 Prlc« 15 C«nt« each.— Boun LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 rep- 
 
 VOL. I. 
 1 Tkt Wih Attorney 
 f Boot* lit the Swan 
 t How to P*y the lUut 
 4 Th« Loan of a L«T«r 
 t Th» Dead Shot 
 ( HU Last '■•« 
 t Th« InTU.ble Prino* 
 • The GoMen Faruisr 
 
 VOL. II. 
 t Prld« of the Markit 
 
 10 Vfd Up 
 
 1 1 Th« Irish Tutor 
 18 The Barrack Room 
 13 Luke the La 'orar 
 U Beauty and the Beait 
 16 St. Patrick's Eve 
 IS Captain of the Watch 
 
 VOL. IIL 
 IT The Secret , [pe 
 
 15 White Horte of the Pe] 
 1» The Jacobite 
 
 90 The Bottle 
 
 91 Box and Cox 
 99 Bamhooilliig 
 9S Widow'e Victim 
 94 Robert Macaire 
 
 VOL. IV. 
 91 Secret Servlc* 
 8t Omnibus 
 27 Irish Lion 
 
 88 Maid of CrolsiT 
 91 The Old Guard 
 SO Raising the Wind 
 81 Slather and Crasher 
 
 89 Naval Eng igementt 
 
 VOL. V. 
 S8 Cocknies in Calitbrula 
 34 Wlio Spe.iks First 
 3i Bombastes Furioso 
 8( Macbeth Travestle 
 
 87 Irish Ambassador 
 
 88 Delicate Ground 
 8t The Weathercock [Gold 
 
 40 All that Glitters it Not 
 
 VOL. VI. 
 
 41 Orlmthaw, Bagshaw and 
 
 Bradshaw 
 49 Rough Diamond 
 
 48 Bloomer Costume 
 U Two Bounyca^tles 
 (» Bom to Good Luck 
 t» Kiss In the Dark [jurer 
 
 47 'Twould Puiile • Con- 
 iS Kin or Cure 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 
 49 Box and Cox Married and 
 »C St. Cupid [Settled 
 61 Go-to-bed Tom 
 
 18 The Lawyers 
 
 63 Jack Sheppard 
 
 64 The Toodlet 
 
 16 The Mobcap 
 
 65 Ladies Beware 
 
 VOL. VIIL 
 »T Morning Call 
 
 68 Popping the Quettlot 
 
 69 Deaf «8 a Post 
 
 50 Ne ,T Footman 
 II Pleitsant Neighbor 
 
 48 Paddy the Piper 
 68 Brian O'LInn 
 44 Irish Assurance 
 
 VOL. IX 
 
 46 Temptation 
 44 Paddv Carey 
 
 47 Two aregorlei 
 
 48 King Charming 
 
 19 Po-ca-hon-tas 
 
 70 Clockmaker's Hat 
 
 71 Married Rake 
 79 Lore and Murder 
 
 VOL. X. 
 
 78 Ireland and America 
 74 Pr«tty Piece of Business 
 TJ Irlah Breom-maker 
 74 Te Paris and Baek foi 
 
 Five Poundi 
 77 Tkat Blessed Babv 
 fS Our Oal 
 
 79 SniH Cottage 
 
 80 YouBg Widow 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 81 O'Flanuig in and the Fal- 
 88 Irish Post [ries 
 
 88 My Neighbor'. Wife 
 
 84 Irish Tiger 
 
 85 P. P., or Man and Tiger 
 
 86 To Oblige Benson 
 
 87 StaU Secrets 
 
 88 Irish Yankee 
 
 VOL. XIL 
 39 A Good Fellow 
 90 Cherry and Fair Star 
 <tl Gale Breezely 
 
 92 Our Jemiiiiy 
 
 93 Miller's Maid 
 
 94 Awkward Arrival 
 
 95 Crossing the Line 
 98 Conjugal Lesson 
 
 VOL. XIII. 
 
 97 My Wife's Mirror 
 
 98 Lile in New York 
 
 99 Middy Ashore 
 
 100 Crown Prince 
 
 101 Two Queens 
 
 102 Thumping Legacy 
 
 103 Unfinished "-atleman 
 
 104 House Dog 
 
 VOL. XIV. 
 106 The Demon Lover 
 
 106 Matrimony 
 
 107 In and Out of Place 
 
 108 I Dine with My Motlier 
 
 109 Hi-a-wa-tha 
 
 110 Andv Blake 
 
 111 Love in '76 [tie; 
 
 112 Romance under Difflcul 
 
 VOL. XV. 
 
 113 One Coat for i Suit* 
 
 114 A Decided Case 
 
 115 Daughter [norlt\ 
 US No; or, the Glorious Mi 
 
 117 Coroner's Inquisition 
 
 118 Love in Huujble Lif« 
 
 119 Family Jars 
 
 120 I'ersonation 
 
 VOL. XVI. 
 
 121 Children in the Wood 
 
 122 Wiiminga Husband 
 ,123 Day After tlie Fair 
 
 124 Mai(j Your WilU 
 1 125 Rendezvous 
 126 My Wife's Husband 
 I J7 Monsieur Tonson 
 
 128 lUustriou* Stranger 
 
 VOL. XVII. 
 
 129 Mischief-Making [Mi ne 
 
 1 !0 A Live Woman in the 
 l:n The Corsair 
 
 132 Shylock 
 
 133 Spoiled Child 
 
 134 Evil Eye 
 
 135 Vothing to Narg« 
 
 136 Wanted »^\Mdow 
 
 VOL. XVITI. 
 
 137 Lottery Ticket 
 
 1 38 Fortune's Frolic 
 
 139 Is he Jealous! 
 
 140 Married Bachelor 
 
 141 Husband at Sight 
 
 142 Irishman In London 
 
 143 >_nlina! Ma;»netism 
 
 144 Highways and By-W ay 
 
 VOL. XIX. 
 
 145 Colutnbus 
 
 146 Harlequin Bluebeard 
 
 147 Ladie< at Home 
 
 14S I'henomenon in a Suock 
 Frock 
 
 149 Comedy and Tragedy 
 
 150 Opposite Neighbors 
 161 Dutchman's Ghost 
 152 Persecuted r>utchraan 
 
 VOL. XX. 
 1 63 Musard Ball 
 .54 Great Tragic Revival 
 155 High Low Jack A Game 
 154 A Gentleman from Ire 
 1S7 Tom and Jerry [land 
 15« Villige Lawyer 
 IM Captain's not A-miss 
 IWt Amateurs and Actors 
 
 016 103 985 8 
 
 161 Pr< 
 
 162 A 
 
 163 Mr, 
 
 164 Sh.-) 
 16i N«i 
 
 166 Lad 
 
 167 Tak 
 i68 Irisl 
 
 169 Yankee Peddler 
 
 170 Hiram Hireout 
 
 171 Double-Bedded Room 
 
 172 The Drama Deiended 
 
 173 Vermont Wool Dealer 
 
 174 Ebeneier Venture [ter 
 
 175 Principles from Charac- 
 
 176 Lady of the Lake (Trav) 
 
 VOL. XXIU. 
 
 177 Mad Dogs 
 
 178 Barney the Baron 
 
 179 Swiss Swains 
 
 180 Bachelor's Bedroum .. 
 
 181 A Roland for an Oliver 
 183 More Blunders than One 
 183 Dumb Belle 
 
 1^4 Limirick boy 
 
 VOL. XXIV. 
 1S5 Nature and Philosophy 
 ks6 Teddy the Tiler 
 187 Spectre Bridegroom 
 
 88 Matteo Falcone 
 
 89 Jenny Liud 
 190 Two Buszarde 
 
 Happy Mm 
 
 192 Betsy Baker 
 VOL. XXV. 
 
 193 No. 1 Round the Comer 
 
 194 Teddy Roe 
 
 95 Object of Interest 
 196 My Fellow Clerk 
 97 Bengal Tiger 
 
 198 Laughing Hvena 
 
 199 The Victor Vanquished 
 
 200 Our Wife 
 
 VOL. XXVI. 
 
 201 My Husband's Mirror 
 
 202 Yankee Land 
 903 Norah Creina 
 204 Good for Nothing 
 206 The First Night 
 
 206 The Eton Boy 
 
 207 Wandering Minstrel 
 
 208 Wanted, 1000 Milliner* 
 
 VOL. XXVIL 
 
 209 Poor Pilcoddy 
 
 210 The Mummy [Glass-es 
 
 211 Don't Forget your Opera 
 
 212 Love in Liverv 
 
 213 Anthony and Cleopatra 
 
 214 Trying It On 
 
 215 Stage Struck Yankee 
 
 216 Young Wife & Old Um 
 
 brella 
 
 VOL. xxvni. 
 
 217 Crinoline 
 
 218 A Fau.iiy Failing 
 
 219 AdoptedChild 
 
 220 Turned Heads 
 
 221 A Match in the Dark 
 
 222 Advice to Husbands 
 
 223 Siamese Twins 
 
 224 Sent to the Tower 
 
 VOi.. XXfX. 
 925 Somebody f-Mse 
 2 6 Ladies' liattle 
 
 227 <rt of Acting 
 
 228 The Lady of the Lions 
 2^9 The Riglits of Man 
 
 230 My Husnand's Ghost 
 
 231 Two Can Play at that 
 
 Game 
 
 232 Fighting by Proxy 
 
 VOL. XXX. 
 
 233 Unprotected Female 
 
 234 Pet of the Petticoats 
 
 235 Forty and Fifty [book 
 
 236 Wh6 Stole the Pocket 
 •'37 My Son Diana [sion 
 2'W Unwarrantable I n t 
 
 239 Mr, md M'i, Wiiite 
 
 240 A Quiet Family 
 
 [ter 
 
 249 Dr. Dllworth 
 
 250 Out to Nurse 
 
 251 A Lucky Hit 
 
 252 The Dowager 
 
 253 Metamora (Burlesque) 
 
 254 Dreams of Delusion 
 
 255 The Shaker Lovere 
 266 Ticklish Times 
 
 VOL. XXXIIL 
 /51 20 Minutes with a Tiger 
 
 258 Miralda; or, the Justice 
 
 of Tacon 
 
 259 A Soldier's Courtship 
 
 260 Servants by Legacy 
 
 261 Dying for Love 
 '26'i Alarming Sacrifice 
 
 263 Valet de Shnm 
 
 264 Nicholas Mckleby 
 VOL. XXXIV. 
 
 266 The Last of the Pigtails 
 
 266 King Rene's Daughter 
 
 267 Th« Grotto Nymph 
 
 268 A Devilish Good Joke 
 
 269 A Twice Told Tale 
 
 270 Pas de Fascination 
 ■71 Revolutionary Soldier 
 
 272 A Man Without a Head 
 
 VOL. XXXV. 
 
 273 The Olio, Part 1 
 874 Tne Olio, Part S 
 
 275 The Olio, Part 3 
 
 276 The Trumpeter's 
 
 277 Seeing Warren 
 
 278 Green Mountain Boy 
 
 279 That Nose 
 
 280 Tom Noddy's Secret 
 
 VOL. XXXVL 
 
 281 Shocking EvenU 
 
 282 A Regular Fix 
 
 283 Dick Tiirpin 
 
 284 Young Sc imp 
 
 285 Young Actrese 
 
 286 Call at No. 1— T 
 
 2,«7 One Touch of Nature 
 
 288 Two B'hoys 
 
 VOL. XXXVII. 
 
 289 All the World's a Stage 
 '^90 Quash, or Nigger Prao- 
 
 291 Turn Him Out [tiee 
 
 292 Pretty Girls of Stlllberg 
 
 293 Angel of the Attic 
 
 294 r'rcumstancesalterCases 
 
 295 Ratty O'Sheal 
 298 A Supper in Dixie 
 
 VOL. XXXVIIL 
 
 297 Id on Parle Francals 
 
 298 Who Killed Cock Robin 
 
 299 Declaration of Independ- 
 
 300 Heads or Tails [ence 
 
 301 Obstinate Family 
 
 302 My Aunt 
 
 303 That Rascal Pat 
 
 304 Don Paddy de Baian 
 
 VOL. XXXIX. [ture 
 
 305 Too Much for Good Na- 
 806 Cure for the Fidgets 
 
 307 Jack's the Lad 
 
 308 Much Ado A bout Nothing 
 
 309 Artful Dodirer 
 
 310 Winning Hazard 
 
 311 Day's Fishing [*C. 
 
 312 Did you ev r send your, 
 
 VOL. XL. 
 
 313 An Irishman's Manenver 
 
 314 Cousin Fannie 
 
 31 5 'Tif toe Darkent Hourbe- 
 
 316 Masquerade [fore Dawn 
 
 317 Crowding the Season 
 3H Good Nisrht'sRest 
 
 319 Man with theCarpetB'j 
 
 320 Terrible Tinker 
 
 (French's Minor Drama Continue.i on -fd pa^e of Cover.) 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street. New York City. 
 
 New and Explicit Descriptive Catalo§:ue Mailed Free on Request.