ublished. — "The Popular Edition" of Baker's Reading Club and ■aker. Xos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8. 50 selections each. Price 15 cents. Copyright, 1876, by George M. Baker. Mrs. Walthrop's ISacbelors. Comedy in Three Acts. Translated from German by George M, Baker. 25 cents. „ „ „ .,. , «> l The Fa irv of the Fountain. Play for Little Folks. Two Acts. By George M. Baker. SSceatt. Coupon lionds. Drama in Four Acts. By J. T. Trowbridge. 25 cents. Under a Veil. Conimedetta in One Act. By Sir Randal Roberts. 25 cents. Class Oay. Farce in One Act. ByDr.F- A.Harris. 26 cents. ¥ncle Robert. Comedy in Three Acts. 7 male, 1 female character. IS cents. ho Wife's Secret. Play in Five Acts. 9 male, 3 female characters. 15 cents. The "Vlrj^nla Veteran. Drama in Four Acts. 11 male, 4 female characters. M eeatt. Spencer's Universal Stage. A Collection o/ COMEDIES, DRAMAS, and FARCES, adapted to either Pubftc or Private performance. Containing a full description of all the necessary Stage Business. PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH, i^r No Plays Exchanged. LOST IN LONDON. A Drama in 3 Acts. 6 male, 4 female characters. NICHOLAS PLAM. A Comedy in 2 Acts. By J. B. Buckstone. 5 male, 3 female char. THE WELSH GIKL. A Comedy in 1 Act. By Mrs. Blanche. 3 male, 2 female char. JOHN WOPPS. A Farce in 1 Act By "W. E. Suter. 4 male, 2 female char. THE TTJEKISH BATH. A Farce in 1 Act. By Montague Williams and F. C Bumand. C male, 1 female char. THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. OLD HONESTY. A Comic Drama in 2 Acts. By J. M. Morton. 5 male, 2 female char. TWO Q-ENTLEMEN IN A FIX. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 2 male char. SMASHING-TON GOIT. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 3 liemale char. TWO HEADS BETTER THAN ONE. A Farce in 1 Act. By Lenox Home. 4 male, 1 female char. JOHN DOBBS. A Farce in 1 Act. ByJ.M. Morton. 5 male, 2 female char. THE DAUGHTER of the REG-IMENT. A Drama in 2 Acts. By Edward Fitzball, G male, 2 female char. AUNT CHARLOTTE'S MAID. AFarceinl Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. BROTHER BILL AND ME. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 4 male, 3 female char. DONE ON BOTH SIDES. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 2 female char. DUNDUCKETTY'S PICNIC. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 6 male, 3 female char. I'VE WRITTEN TO BROWNE. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. MY PRECIOUS BETSY. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 4 male, 4 female char. MY TURN NEXT. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. THE PHANTOM BREAKFAST. A Farce in 1 Act. By Chas. Selby. .3 male, 2 female char. DANDELION'S DODGES. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. A SLICE OF LUCK. A Farce in 1 Act. By J, M. Morton. 4 male, 2 female char. ALWAYS INTENDED. A Comedy in 1 Act. By Horace Wigan. 3 male, 3 female char. A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP. A Comedy in 2 Acts. By Charles Matthews. 6 male, 4 female char. ANOTHER GLASS. A Drama in 1 Act By Thomas Morton. 6 male, 3 female char. BOWLED OUT, AFarceinl Act ByH. T. Craven. 4 mule, 3 female char. COUSIN TOM. A Commedietta in 1 Act. By Geo. Roberts. 3 male, 2 female char. SARAH'S YOUNQ MAN. A Farce in 1 Act By W. E. Suter. 3 male, 3 female char. HIT HIM, HE HAS NO FRIENDS. A Farce in 1 Act. By E. Yates and N. H. Har- rington. 7 male, 3 female char. THE CHRISTENING. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. B. Buckstone. i> male 6 female char. A RACE FOR A WIDOW. A Farce in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 4 female char. YOUR LIFE'S IN DANGER. A Farce in 1 Act By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. TRUE UNTO DEATH. A Drama in 2 Acts. By J. Sheridan Kuowles. 6 male, 2 female char. 36. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. An Interlude in 1 Act. By W. H. Murray. 10 male, 1 female char. 37. LOOK AFTER BROWN. AFarceinl Act By George A. Stuart, M. D. 6 male, 1 female char. 38. MONSEIGNEUR. A Drama in 3 Acts. By Thomas Archer. 15 male, 3 temale char. 39. A VERY PLEASANT EVENING. A Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 3 male char. 40. BROTHER BEN. A Farce in 1 Act By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 41. ONLY A CLOD. A Comic Drama in 1 Act By J. P. Simpson. 4 male, 1 female char. 42. GASPARDO THE GONDOLIER. A Dmnia in 3 Acts. By George Almar. 10 male, 2 female char. 43. SUNSHINE THROUGH THE CLOUDS. A Drama in 1 Act. By Slingsby Lawrence. 3 male, 3 female char. 44. DON'T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES. A Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 2 female char. 45. NURSEY CHICKWEED. AFarceinl Act By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. 46. MARY MOO ; or. Which shall I Marry? A Farce in 1 Act. By W. £. Suter. 2 male, 1 female char. 47. EAST LYNNE. A Drama in 5 Acts. 8 male, 7 female char. 48. THE HIDDEN HAND. A Drama in 5 Acts. By Robert Jones. 16 male, 7 female char. 49. SILVERSTONE'S WAGER. A Commedi- etta in 1 Act By R. R. Andrews. 4 male, 3 fe- male char. BO. DORA. A Pastoral Drama in 3 Acts, By Chas. Reade. 6 male, 2 female char. 55. THE WIFE'S SECRET. A Play in 6 Acts. By Geo. W. Lovell. 10 male, 2 female char. 56. THE BABES IN THE WOOD. A Com- edy in 3 Acts, By Tom Taylor. 10 male, 3 fe- male char. 57. PUTKINS ; Heir ta Castles in the Air. A Comic Drama in i Act By W. K. Emerson. 2 male, 2 fen. ale char. 58. AN UGLY CUSTOMER. A Farce in 1 Act By Thomas J. Williams. 3 male, 2 fiemale char. 59. BLUE AND CHERRY. A Comedy in 1 Act 3 male, 2 female char. 60. A DOUBTFUL VICTORY. A Comedy in 1 Act. 3 male, 2 female char. 61. THE SCARLET LETTER. A Drama in 3 Acts. 8 male, 7 female char. 62. WHICH WILL HAVE HIM? A Vaude- ville. 1 male, 2 female char. 63. MADAM IS ABED. A Vaudeville in 1 Act 2 male, 2 female char. 64. THE ANONYMOUS KISS. A Vaudeville. 2 male, 2 iemale char. 65. THE CLEFT STICK. A Comedy in 3 Acts. 5 male, 3 female char. 66. A SOLDIER, A SAILOR, A TINKER, AND A TAILOR. A Farce in 1 Act 4 male, 2 female char. 67. GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME. A Farce. 2 male, 2 female char. 68. DAMON AND PYTHIAS. A Farce. 6 male, 4 female char. 69. A HUSBAND TO ORDER. A Strio-comio Drama in 2 Acts. 6 male, 3 female char. 70. PAYABLE ON DEMAND. A Domestic Drama in 2 Acts. 7 mole, 1 female char. Descriptive Catalogue mailed free on application to Geo. M. Baker & Co., 41-45 Franklin St., Boston, A PERSONAL MATTER, a Cometig in ©tie Set ■/ By F. E. chase. (a.C?..H BOSTON: GEORGE M. BAKER AND COMPANY, 41 FRANKLIN STREET. 1880. r Copyright, 1880, By GEORGE M. BAKER. All rights reserved* A PERSONAL MATTER. Mr. Cadwallader Tapscott. Mrs. Cynthia Tapscott. Susan. Mr. Copvwright, editor of " The Milky Way. Scene. — A breakfast-room, closed in. Double doors in fiat, backed by interior j fireplace L. ; entrances R. and L. ; wifidow R. ; breakfast-tab'e set with two chairs R. of Q.\ arm-chair by fireplace ; desk R. of D. i7i f. Mr. T. {discovered standing back to fireplace). I wonder where the deuce those morning papers are ! 1 never, some- how, get up especially early in the morning to get them, but that particular morning they are sure to be unusually late. I sometimes suspect the carrier of cherishing a tender re- gard for the housemaid in No. 23: even now he may be urging his suit in the lower porch. By Jove! it is cool of hini, — devilish cool ! {Hastily leaving fire, and examining coat-tails.) Gad ! how hot that fire is ! Upon my soul, I thought at first I was ablaze ! {Looking at watch.) Eight o'clock, and no paper yet ! I wonder if it is beneath my dignity as a family man to punch that carrier's head. I don't know that that would mend matters much, but I feel that I should derive the most exquisite satisfaction from the operation. {To easy-chai)% taking paper.) Here's that last night's paper again, continually obtruding itself upon me, and apparently glorying in its successor's delinquency. {Sits.) Hallo! what's this? I would have guaranteed my abihty to reproduce this entire sheet with photographic accuracy, and yet here is actually a paragraph which has 3 4 A PERSONAL MATTER. ' escaped me. {Reads.) " Whereas my wife, Mrs. Sloper Sachett, has left my bed and board" — m — m. Pah ! how disgusting are these quarrels between man and wife ! I con- fess my own wife is not perfect ; but, during the five years of our married life, I have warded off all unpleasantness by my imperturbable patience and self-control {rising). {Loud) D — n it all! where is that paper? {Bell outside.) Ah! the carrier, at last. The housemaid in No. 23 has either ac- cepted or rejected him ; I hope the latter. {Goes r.) Susan {ente7'ing i e. r. luith paper). 'Ere's your paper, sir; and the carrier says as 'ow No. 28 has given him a dol- lar, and Mrs. Peevey, in the corner 'ouse, two ; and, being as tomorrer's Christmas, and he's always taken pertickler pains to please you, he 'opes — Mr. T. {snatching paper). Hopes, does he? Oh, this is too much ! this is adding insult to injury. First he steals my time, and then has the impudence to signify that he'd like to do as much for my money. Tell him I've nothing for him. {Goes L.) Susan. But he's quite put himself out of his way, sir, to — Mr. T. Then ask him, as a further favor, to put himself out of my way as soon as possible, — d'ye hear? (Susan exit D. in F.) {Going C, and looking in paper.) Now for the answer to my applfcation. The dream of my life — and my wife's — has been to own a "cottage by the sea," A little while ago, a place I've had my eye on for months was offered for sale at the mere price of the land, dirt-cheap, in fact, (r.) I wanted it myself: it was a good investment, and so I negotiated for it. So much will a really good husband do to please his wife. The owner was to let me know to- day. Not by letter, — oh, no! my wife might get hold of that, — but by Personal in the paper; for all this is to be kept from her knowledge until the anniversary of our wed- ding, (l.) a surprise for her, and bought for a song, too, as the owner said ; though I told her it was right enough a " cottage by the sea " should be sold for a song. {Sits l., arfn-chair.) Let's see, — Personals, — third page — ah, here they are ! {Reads.) Mrs. T. {enters d. in F.). {Aside.) Ah, here he is ! Oh, dear! I wish I didn't feel so like a felon every time I see him. Indeed, I feel a whit-low-tx than a felon, as Caddy A PERSONAL MATTER. 5 would say, at the sight of his dear, honest face. If the pos- session of a secret so harmless as mine makes a person feel so unpleasantly, how awfully those dreadful people that I read of in the papers must feel, with their bigamies and what not ! (c.) Why, I hardly dare speak to him, for when he looks at me I know I shall look guilty. If I can only keep it from him till the anniversary of our wedding — but there ! the dear honest fellow would no more suspect me of any duphcity, than he could be fjuilty of it himself, (l., softly looking over T.'j sko7ilde?\) What can he find so interesting .'' {Kisses hifn.) Good-morning, Caddy. Mr. T. {hastily risijtg, to C). Good-morning, my dear {nervously). Just down } Mrs. T. Oh, no ! I've been here some time, but you were so engrossed in the paper that — Mr. T. I — I dare say I may have been talking to my- self just now, eh ? Perhaps you heard me talking to myself or — or — something. Mrs. T. No, dear : why .? Mr. T. Oh, nothing! Only sometimes a personal — I mean person, does, you know. You do know, don't you .? Hang it, Cynthia ! what are you staring at ? If I were really that useful but humble receptacle of tea, with whose name you are so fond of endowing me, I couldn't be insensible to the fact that your looks and manner toward me are extreme- ly pointed. {Raising voice.) And I ask you calmly {loud\ Do you see any thing peculiar about me ? Mrs. T. {going to him). Why, Caddy, what is the matter.? I wasn't conscious of staring. Come, kiss me good- morninj Mr. T. {kissing her). There, there ! {Both sit at table.) I hated to mention it, Cynthia, you know, but you were staring at me very person — I mean particularly. And of course a person — I mean — yes, person — {Loud.) Hang it ! I don't like it. {Reads.) (Susan brings in, d. in f., coffee-urn ajid letter.) Mrs. T. {aside). I wonder what makes Caddy so irritable this morning. Can he suspect any thing ? {Pouring coffee.) {Aloud.) And who was that strange-looking man I saw you with yesterday? some one in the real-estate line, I'll be bound, for he carried samples enough of that commodity about his person. {Passes cup.) Mr. T. {suspending eating). {Aside.) Real-estate look ! O A PERSONAL MATTER. I've always observed that if you have any thing on your mind, people delight in stirring you up, so to speak, and treading on your moral corns. {Aloud.) Cynthia, as a par- ticular favor, I beg you don't be absurd. That man is a millionnaire. He's as rich as — Mrs. T. As mud, you were going to say. But it really isn't fair to throw cold water on my joke. I only said he was dirty. {Eats.) Mr. T. He has his faults certainly, but they are all merely superficial. Mrs. T. And the more inexcusable on that account, sirfce soap and water would remove the most- evident of them in no time. Mr. T. And I particularly respect him as being a typical self-made man. Mrs. T. Self-made men. Ah, yes! I know them. The children of luck, who invariably disown their father; men, who. making 'prentice work of themselves, so far improve their skill in their children, that the latter feel their superiority, and despise their progenitors ; men who invariably claim to have risen from the gutter, — a boast, which, judging from appearances, is generally perfectly justified. In this case it is quite superfluous, indeed, since his origin was plainly written in his face. Bah ! canaille ! Mr. T. {jnispronouncirii^). Canal, indeed! Mrs. T. Don't try French, Caddy. Don't adorn that much-abused word with an L like the highl3-desirable cottage of the advertising-columns. (Mr. T. winces) That reminds me. Let me see the paper while you finish your breakfast. Mr. T. The paper ; ah, yes ! {Aside) There she goes again. First, real estate, then hints at cottages, and now an absurd and wholly unprecedented desire for the newspaper. But no hesitation : the man who hesitates is lost, though in my case he is rather more likely to be found — out. {Aloud., giviiis^ paper.) There is an article on personals — Personal- ities in Journalism, that I know you'll like. It's on the — Mrs. T. {turjiing paper). On the third page. It's that you M^ere reading when I came in. It must have been very interesting, judging from your — Why, Caddy, there is nothing here but advertisements. {During above Mr. T. betrays some agitation.) Mr. T. {groans). Is this fate .'' {Aloud) It's not there, A PERSONAL MATTER. / — no {rising). That reminds me : there is such a nice mur- der on the first page. {Round to her.) Let me show you. {iries to get paper^ A babe in arms murders his wife and husband with a clothes-wringer, and completes his atrocious work by sawing off his head with a violin-bow. A violint death, the reporter calls it. Pretty good, ain't it ? {Grabs at paper.) Yes ; headed "A Scene of Horror." I assure — Mrs. T. {rising). For pity's sake, Mr. Tapscott, what does ail you ? Mr. T. {braciftg up). Nothing ; I — Mrs. T. You seem to have lost your head as completely as the subject of your very disjointed remarks. One would think, from your manner, that you had a personal — Mr. T. {alarmed). Eh ? oh ! I say — Mrs. T. a personal interest in the affair. Mr. T. {aside). I breathe again. {Aloud.) Not at all, not at all. I — I only displayed the natural interest one feels in such — Mrs. T. Natural interest? What kind of principle can a man have who can derive interest from such sources ? {Goes L. tojire.) But, Caddy, how about the babe in arms (l.), — a parricide at eighteen months .<* The infant Her- cules is eclipsed. {Laughs.) Mr. T. {do7vn r., ne7'vously). Ha, ha! yes; very good. Mrs. T. You reverse Holy Writ most originally, and visit the sin of the child on the father in a very striking {laji^hs) manner. {Looks at paper ^ Mr. T. {aside, coming c). Confound it! she's at that paper again ; she's turning to that infernal third page. I can't stand this any longer. I must get it away from her. Mrs. T. How absurd these personal advertisements are, Caddy! {Bus., Mr. T.) Do you ever read— (Mr. T. makes a rush.) Why, what — {Dodging to C.) Mr. T. (l.). Oh ! I say, you mustn't — you know — Mrs. T. Mr. Tnpscott, I am astonished at you. If it weren't for implying that you ever possessed such a thing, 1 should say you had lost your senses. Mr. T. {aside). I cannot stand this. {Aloud:) Mrs. T., I ask you in the mildest manner possible {loud) to give me that paper. Mrs. T. And I refuse to do any thing of the sort. {Goes down R.) 8 A PERSONAL MATTER. Mr. T. {Imid). Don't make me lose my temper, ma'am. {To c.) Mrs. T. Oh ! you never lose your temper ; for you can't call a thing lost when you see it fifty times a day. Mr. T. As your husband, ma'am, I demand that paper. {A little down r.) Mrs. T. The supply not being likely to equal your de- mand, the price will rise accordingly. Before you get this paper, you must make me a confession. Mr. T. {retreatmg). A — a confession ? Mrs. T. A confession. You are deceiving me, sir. You have a secret, and the key to it is in this paper. Mr. T. No, no : you don't know — I — Mrs. T. You are right. I don't know; but I am in a fair way to find out. {Goes L., to fire.) Mr. T. My dear, I — Mrs. T. I assure you, I'm not at all dear. In return for this paper, my price is simply an explanation of your strange behavior. And remember, sir, that I give you this opportu- nity out of kindness ; for I can easily find out for myself. {Shows paper.) Mr. T. {down r., aside). Pooh ! she'd never find out any thing from the item. I must be bold. {Aloiid, tragically.) You wrong me, Cynthia; but I forgive you. Mrs. T. {imitating). " I love thee, Cassio : but never more be officer of mtne." Bah ! don't try blank verse, Mr. Tapscott. You will find it quite hard enough to explain matters in prose. Mr. T. {continuing). But I forgive you. Standing as I do on a pinnacle — Mrs. T. At length you have come to the point; though, judging from your recent behavior, "ragged edge" were more to the purpose. Mr. T. — a pinnacle of moral rectitude which no mere suspicion can undermine, I — Susan {entering d. in f.). Av ye please, 'ere's a person below as wants to see — Mr. and Mrs. T. {together). Me ? Susan. Yes, please. Mrs. T. {aside, putting paper on mantle). Can it be Copy- wright ? Mr. T. {up c). Any name ? A PERSONAL MATTER. 9 Susan. He didn't give no name, sir; but he said as how he come about that — (Mr. T. stops her mouth. Mrs. T. sio;nals violently for her to be silent) Susan {bewildered). He said the lady — {Bus. by both frantically repeated.) Mrs. T. {aside). This girl will ruin all. How stupid of Copywright to send a message by her ! {Goes r. to window and looks out.) Mr. T. {aside). If my wife were to hear of the widow, I should be in a \vorse box than I am now. {Lo7u to Susan.) For heaven's sake, not a word more ! Tell him to wait at the corner. Go, there's a good girl. {Exit Susan, d. in f.) {Aloud.) A — a friend on business. Mrs. T., I must be off; and I hope, Cynthia, you will have forgotten your ab- surd distrust of me before I see you again. We'll see what a few presents will do. Mrs. T. Your absence is far more acceptable to me than your presents can possibly hope to be. Mr. T. Ah, Cynthia! {Aside) She'll get over it. Wanted me to sell my secret, did she ? Well, that were better, from a commercial point of view, than to give it away, as I came very near doing. {Aloud) Ta, ta. {Exit T>. in F.) Mrs. T. {at windorv r.). It was Copywright. There he goes down the street. What could he be thinking of, to come so early? I declare, he's waiting on the corner. What an idiot! {Retreating) He actually had the impudence to blow a kiss to me. {Peeping) There, — there goes Caddy after him. What if he saw him do it? They pass each other without any recognition. Yes — why, Caddy is waiting on the corner, and looking about as if he expected to see some one. {Retreating) Come to think of it, he did expect to see some one. Thought Copywright was a friend of his. {Peeping) Why, he isn't going down town: he's taking a Chilbury Ferry horse-car. That's suspicious. {Down . c.) And how frantically he endeavored to suppress his sup- posed friend's business when Susan — Yes ; and, when Susan began about the lady, I saw him glance at me, and stop her. O Caddy, Caddy, this is far worse than I thought! Ah me I But the paper, — he has left it. Yes, here it is. {Goes i.. to fnantle, and takes it) I have a clew here. He was reading on the third page. {Opens paper) But what ? {Searches) Why, there is nothing here but advertisements lO A PERSONAL MATTER. and the Personals. Personals, — he can't have any interest in them; and yet, now I remember, every time I spoke that unfortunate word, or looked on this innocent third page, he acted in that suspicious way. Let me see. {Reads.) "Will the young lady who rode the bicycle " — No, no ; it's not that. {Reads.) " If the red-haired young man with the insinuating address" — No, nor that. Ah! {Reads.) "C T. — I cannot resist your last offer. Inclination and interest both point the same way. Lobelia is yours on your own terms. Meet me to-day at ten, to make the final arrange- ments. — T." {Drops paper, ajtd sits by fire, sobbi?ig.) Oh, oh, to think I could have been so blind ! It must be he. If it were only " C," there might be some mistake ; but " C. T." can mean nothing but Caddy Tapscott. And he has made her an offer, too, — the brute! {Sobs^ Oh, oh, I never would have believed he could be so bad as that ! Her inter- est and inchnation both point — Her interest first, no doubt, — the mercenary wretch ! And such a name, — Lo- belia I it is enough to nauseate one. I know she's horrid. {Sobs.) Oh, oh, this is cruel of him ! This is where he has gone in such a hurry. {Wipes eyes.) To think I could have loved such a brute ! {Rising.) I won't mind it : he isn't worth it. {Going c.) You have gone and taken this Lobelia, and thrown me up, have you.? Very good, Mr. Tapscott; I'll be even with you. Susan {enters d. in ¥.). 'E's 'ere, mem. Mrs. T. {dow7t C). Back again.? {Aside.) He little sus- pects I know all. Susan {tip c.) Yes, mem. And he's got a big bouquet in a box. I see it through a hole in the cover. Mrs. T. {aside). For his Lobelia, no doubt ; and covered up for fear I might see it. Ah I Mr. Tapscott, you'll find yourself in a nice box, but without any kind of hole in the cover to creep out through. {Goifig L., aloud.) Has he gone, yet.? Susan. Lor', no, mem. He's just be'ind on the stair. Mrs. T. {aside). He can't have repented, — it's nearly ten, — no, he's going to brazen it out. Very well; he'll meet with a different reception from what he anticipates. {Turns back to door, and leans on mantle.) Susan. 'Ere 'e is, mem. {Enter Copywright bowings exit Susan.) A PERSONAL MATTER. II Mrs. T. {not looking at htm). Don't speak to me, sir. Don't utter a syllable. All is discovered. CoPYWRiGHT (c). Eh ! {Drops bouquet on fable) Mrs. T. Yes, sir ; discovered. I don't wonder you have nothing to say. I know all about Lobelia. You can hardly look in the indignant eye of an outraged wife, now, sir. CoPYWRiGHT {down c). Well, madam, I must confess I can't ; at any rate, while you continue in that position. I — I can't imagine how 1 have offended — Mrs. T. {aside). Copywright ! What an absurd error! {Toe) Copywright. I assure you — I — Mrs. T. My dear Mr. Copywright, I beg your pardon. I wasn't aware that you — Copywright. I beg you won't apologize. Mrs. T. I was — I was meditating a new story. Trying to enter into the feelings of an injured wife, you know. {Goes R.) Copywright (l., aside). She certainly made a very forci- ble entry ; sort of burglary, in fact. {Aloud) Judging from the specimen, the story will be a decided success. Mrs. T. {to c, indicating chair). Pray sit down, Mr. Copywright. {Both sit, Copywright l., she at table) Copywright. Thank you, Mrs. Tapscott. Mrs. T. But how could you be so imprudent as to call so early as you did this morning? after my cautions too. Copywright. Why ! didn't you get my note .? Mrs. T. To be sure : it was brought in at breakfast ; but — I forgot all about it until now. {Takes letter from table, and opens) What apology can I make t Pray excuse me. {Reads) Copywright. As you see, I came early to get the proof- sheets of your novel, — early, because we publish a week sooner than we intended, and every thing is hurried. Pm very sorry. I hope it won't inconvenience you. You sj)oke of an anniversary, I think. Mrs. T. {rising, and dropping letter). No, no! I did care once, but not now — not noAv. {Goes r.) Copywright {rising). And I took the liberty of bring- ing a few flowers. {Handi?ig them) Mrs. T. {crossing l. with them). How good of you ! Ah, no ! I don't care now if my book never comes out. 12 A PERSONAL MATTER. COPYWRIGHT (r., aside). Novelty of authorship wearing off. Often sa Reading proof usually settles 'em, {Aloud}) By the way, I met a sort of acquaintance in your street just now. Mrs. T . {at mantle). Indeed! CoPYWRiGHT. Yes : he came up behind me as I went away from here. Mrs. T. {aside). My husband ! {Aloicd.) A sort of acquaintance : how do you mean ? CoPYWRiGHT. Why, you know, I live in Chilbury sum- mers ; and directly opposite me lives a very pretty and rather fast voung widow. Mks.T. {aside). Lobelia! {Aloud.) Well! CoPYW^RiGHT. Well, I've lately seen this gentleman go- ing there at all times of the day, and — Why, Mrs. Tai> scott, what is the matter.-* (l. to her.) Mrs. T. Nothing, nothing! I — {sits i.., aside). Oh, the villain, — a widow! COPYWRIGHT. You are fatigued. I won't bore 3'ou any longer. Have you the proofs at hand ? Mrs. T. Proofs! {Rising.) I should think I had. Oh, he shall pay for this ! {Goes r., Copywright c.) {Crash.) Mr. T. {outside). Susan, if I fall over this coal-hod again, we part. Don't bandy words with me. Mrs. T. (r., <2j-2V/6'). My husband back ! {Aloud) Come, sir, you must not be discovered here; this way, quick! {lo I E. L.) Copywright {resists). But I've done nothing to be ashamed of. I don't like this. Mrs. T. Get in, I beg you. {Pushes him., i e. l. ; aside.) After what has happened, I wouldn't let my husband know of my connection with Copywright for the world. {Crossing r.) Here he comes. {Exit i e. r.) Mr. T. {entering D. in F.). Ha, she's gone! I'm not sorry, for I'm mad. Our front entry is about equal to a coal-mine in point of illumination ; but when the resem- blance is increased by leaving buckets of coal around, it is irritating — to the ankles. {Rubs legs.) Hang it! realism is not art. {Doivn c.) That fellow wasn't for me, after all : there was nobody on the corner but a smirking scoundrel whom I caught blowing kisses to somebody in the block, so I started to keep my appointment. But I'd hardly gone two A PERSONAL MATTER. 13 blocks when it occurred to me that I'd left that paper, so back I came; and now where is it? {Looks aboitt.) She can't have had time to — {sees it) — no, here it is ! {Goes l. and picks it up.) Now I feel safe. {Rolling it tip.) She can't have been — No, no! she had no real suspicion. I suppose my reserved manner irritated her, for I was distant, yes, rather distant this morning; at least, I wished at one time I had been distant — about a mile. Poor thing! But no suspicion of the real truth — no, no ! — she is too inno- cent herself. {Going c.) Why, what the devil is this? {lakingploivej's.) I have a very vivid recollection of certain flowers of speech in our morning's conversation, but no nat- ural ones. No, they were confoundedly unnatural, coming from wife to husband ; and yet, here they are. Hallo, a let- ter ! {Drops bougnet.) {Opens and 7'eads, going r.) " My dear Cynthia." A man's handwriting! Now, I wasn't aware she was any one else's Cynthia but mine, and this is not my writing. Well, we live and learn. {Reads.) "I shall be with you earlier than usual, this morning." Than usual ! Then he is in the habit of coming here ! {Reads.) "Even at the risk of your husband's discovering our secret." Why, damme, it's a lover! {Comes c, reads.) "The sur- prise you intended for him will come a little earher than we had planned." {Grinding his teeth.) Yes, indeed : you're right, my buck, the surprise will come a devilish deal earlier than either of you anticipated. {Reads.) " The reason I " — Oh, hang your reasons ! {Reads.) " I must have all the proofs this morning, sure: so have them ready." He's afraid I might get 'em, is he? Oh, I've all the proofs I want! {Reads.) "As ever devoted to your interests. — Ed." Edl not even Ned. Is it Edwin or Edward? Ed! there isn't even an Eddy to show in what direction the cur- rent flows. {Going -L.) I see it now. It was fate brought me back here, and not the newspaper. I wish fate had told me to punch that blackguard's head that blew the kisses. He was the man, no doubt. Very good ! Mrs. T., my eyes are open ! Business may go to the devil now ! Cadwalla- der will come the Marius among the ruins of his domestic Carthage. {Sits by fire) CoPYWRiGHT {entering stealthily i E. l.). I don't hear any thing. It must have been a false alarm. {Sees Mr. T.) Hallo! {Aside.) The very man I've seen going to the widow's. 14 A PERSONAL MATTER. • Mr. T . (n'sz'ng). Hallo! (Aside.) The very ugly-looking scoundrel I met on the street just now. {Goes r.) CoPYWRiGHT {aside). Her husband, too ! What a mess I've got them into! {Aloud, going r.) This is rather awk- ward, sir. Mr. T. I should say it was, sir, — devilish awkward for you. Who are you, sir ? Copy WRIGHT. lam — {During followijtg speeches Mr. T. crowds COPYWRIGHT gradually to extre7ne L.) Mr. T. And what the devil are you doing prowling about my house, sir .'' You are a sneak-thief, sir, and you look it. COPYWRIGHT. My name is — Mr. T. Damn your name, sir! I dare say you have a hundred of them. COPYWRIGHT. My name is Copy — Mr. T. And a devilish poor copy of an honest man, sir. Well, Mr. Copy? COPYWRIGHT. Pardon me, sir, — Wright. Mr. T. I'm right, am I ? Damme, he admits it. Oh, this is too much! Now, Mr. Copy — COPYWRIGHT. Wright, if you please. Mr. T. {Ion a). Confound it, sir, I know I'm right ! don't tell me that again. COPYWRIGHT {loud). I will be heard, sir. My name is Copy Wright. Mr. T. Copywright, eh ? Very well, sir, you are copy- right secured, then; for I've got you, and you won't get away in a hurry. Now, sir, what will you call your busi- ness ? Don't hesitate : give it a name. Copywright. My business ? {Aside.) I must preserve her secret. Luckily he don't seem to suspect. Mr. T. Oh! you hesitate, do you? Come, your business? Tell me any thing that comes handy, just to keep up appear- ances. Copywright {aside). What shall I say? {Aloud.) As I was saying when you interrupted me, I'm a — Mr. T. a what, then? out with it. Copywright. A lawyer, sir. My business — Mr. T. a lawyer, — humph ! Wouldn't you like to be considered a clergyman, sir? I can believe you quite as easily. Or perhaps you'd like to identify yourself with the medical profession, sir. You will have all probabilities in your favor ; for you "don't look unlike a body-snatcher, sir. A PERSONAL MATTER. 1 5 COPYWRIGHT. A body-snatcher, sir ? Do you know — Mr. T. Don't bully me, sir. I don't doubt your famil- iarity with courts of law, but I suspect your point of obser- vation has been the dock. CoPYWRiGHT. The dock, sir ? I am as well known at the bar as — Mr. T. {well down L.). I have no doubt of it, — every bar in the city. Hence your appearance in the dock, sir. Your nose tells the story. COPYWRIGHT {well down L.). My nose, sir? {Aside.) I won't stand his bullying any longer. {Aloud.) My nose, sir.? Damme if I see any thing in your own nose so remark- ably comely as to render your visits to Mrs. Bonds particu- larly acceptable. Mr. T. {retreating). 'Sh ! I say, not so loud. (Copy- yvKiGWY gradually crowds Mr. T. to extreme l., as above.) Copy WRIGHT. Oho, sir! Who is the scoundrel now? how about body-snatchers! I am a resurrectionist, am I? Very good; I have brought about your day of judgment, at any rate. Mr. T. Not so loud ; easy, now. CoPYWRiGHT. I will be loud. You have taken tricks enough ; now you play the knave, and I take you with my " last trump." Oh ! I'm a resurrectionist. Mr. T. Consider my position. I — CoPYWRiGHT. I object to your position. You have com- mitted infringement on Copywright long enough : it is his turn now. Explain your visits to Mrs. Bonds. Mr. T. Don't make such a row. I assure you I went on business, — private business. Copywright. Business, indeed, sir ! Mr. T. a little investment in — Copywright. In Bonds? This is no time for jesting. You are a heartless scoundrel, sir. What have you done ? {Melodramatic.) Old Bonds, in whom I had the highest rate of interest, dies, and leaves Mrs. B., his young and helpless widow, alone, — a loan, thrown on the world with- out the least security against such pursuers of innocence as you, sir. The tempter comes, — you, the tempter, — though to my mind there is devilish little tempting about you, — and throws his nets over her little home. Mr. T. That's it, — her house. Don't you see? l6 A PERSONAL MATTER. COPYWRIGHT. I do see, and so shall you see — your vil- lany. {Pathetically) Before your coming, I see her sitting in her peaceful front parlor, the Madonna of private life, dandling the innocent offspring of Bonds, deceased ; her little coupons, so to speak, in whom all her interest lay. {Tragic) But soon a little cloud appears on her domestic horizon, no bigger than a man's hand. (Mr. T. makes dep- recatory gesture) And considerably smaller than the leg of mutton by whose impotent gesture you hope to stun the torrent of my virtuous indignation. A cloud appears. It is you. Small at first, because we see only your virtues, but soon enormous as the festering and swollen bulk of your vices crowds upon our perceptions. Mr. T. Damme, this is unbearable ! CoPYWRiGHT. It is, sir, and was. I saw^ the maternal instinct fade under the pestilential exhalation of your pres- ence. I saw the maternal grasp relax, and the infants roll neglected to the floor. Unheeded alike were their piteous wails and the promptings of virtue. She fell — Mr. T. But she didn't though. She held out as if she'd been in the real-estate business all her life. CoPYWRiGHT. Real estate, sir ! I blush for you. What is a piece of land to peace of mind 1 And what parallel can be drawn between a plot of ground and the plots you levelled against her? Be content with the ruin you have caused, and don't attempt to throw dirt on her reputation. Mr. T. It's all nonsense talking about ruin. I paid her a fair price, and — COPYWRIGHT. Spare me, sir, — spare me the disgusting details. Mr. T. {extre77ie R.). If you will only let me explain — COPYWRIGHT {extreme R.). Needless. I have already explained all — to your wife. I happen to stand in the most intimate and confidential relations to her — {stops confused). Mr. T. {starting, aside). Ed — found! {Aloud) Well, sir, you hesitate. To my wife, yes — {Crowds Imn up) COPYWRIGHT {to c.). I — I was hasty. I meant — Mr. T. (r.). You didn't mean, rather {with savage joy). Ha, ha! found at last! A just Heaven has delivered thee into my hands. {Produces letter) Look, scoundrel, look at this illiterate scrawl. It is yours. Don't deny it. Your A PERSONAL MATTER. If eyes are more truthful than their owner. Destroyer of my peace, explain ! {Advances.) CoPYWRiGHT {^ohtg L., aside). The secret cannot be kept longer. {Aloud.) Sir, my business will sufficiently ex- plain that note. Mr. T. (c). Your business, sir, — you are a lawyer. COPYWRIGHT {aside, c). O Lord, that unlucky lie ! Mr. T. Your being a lawyer will explain almost any vil- lany, but not this. CoPYWRiGHT. When I said I was a lawyer, I — Mr. T. When you said you were a lawyer, I respected you as a man of ready invention, but did not believe you. Some lawyers have red noses, sir ; some lawyers go prowl- ing about other people's houses, sir : but no lawyer writes any such notes as this, sir, for he knows the consequences. And you shall know 'em devilish soon ; you shall have an object-lesson directly {ritsJies L., Copywright tip c), — illus- trated with cuts, sir, gratis {up c, Copywright down r.). Copywright. Help! hallo, somebody! {To l., Mr. T. to r.) Mr. T. You spoke lightly of my hand just now; you shall have definite information as to its weight. (Copy- wright starts up C.) No, you don't. {After hitn, both col- liding with Susan, enteri^tg d. in f.) Susan. Murder ! murder ! {Screams.) Mr. T. Stop that noise, girl, and go away. Copywright {down l. hurriedly). Call the police — do ! He's mad. Mr. T. Craven, — would you? (7i? l., Copywright r.) Susan {crying, up c.). Oh, oh ! what shall I do? and the lady below ! Mr. T. (l.). Lady ! {Stops.) Susan. Well, she don't look it, sir. Mrs. — Mr. T. {anxiously). Yes, yes, what? Susan. Mrs. — something they gives you when they owes you something. Mr. T. That's a cow-hiding, scoundrel. {To r. ; Copy- wright dodges L.) Susan. Mrs. Bonds, sir: that's it. Mr. T. (r., staggers). Bonds ! O Lord, where is she ? Copywright (l., aside). This is fairly providential. Susan. She's below stairs, sir. l8 A PERSONAL MATTER. Mr. T. {7ip c, quick). I must get her away. But you won't escape me {shaking fist): I'll lock you in, sir. {Exit^ piishijig Susan before him, and locking door.) CoPYWRiGHT. Now here's a nice fix. Locked in to await the pleasure of a madman who wants to cut your throat for nothing, and give you the change ! Change ! It's the change I object to; for, without being at all vain, I am satisfied with myself as I am, and won't have any alterations if I can help it. But how to escape ! {Rjins to window R.) Lord ! thirty feet clear, and the choice of a spiked railing or a water-butt at the bottom ! It would be the end of me in either case. No, I don't believe in jumping at one's con- clusion. Ha ! why not follow Mrs. Tapscott .? {Runs to 1 E. R., and meets Mrs. T., who enters.) Hush, — he has discovered all. Mrs T. {going c). He ? Who ? CoPYWRiGHT. That madman. Mrs. T. You mean my husband. Well, we could hardly hope to keep it from him much longer. COPYWRIGHT. But that is not all. He has improved upon our little plot, by introducing a villain of his own in- vention. Mrs. T. That is, he has entered into it himself. COPYWRIGHT. With a vengeance. Literally, with a ven- geance. He has found my letter, and takes me for a lover. Mrs. T. a lover ! COPYWRIGHT. And he has so far identified me with the character, that he proposes embellishing the plot with a murder. Real blood, ma'am. He wants to cut my throat. Mrs. T. {going l.). What a situation ! COPYWRIGHT {to c). That's it: I'm not up to the situa- tion. I wish I had never been cast in the piece at all. You must save me. Mrs. T. But you don't mean to — COPYWRIGHT. To have my throat cut ? No, ma'am. Quick, hide me! he'll be back directly. (Mrs. T. Mp c.) No, no, not that way: he has locked the door. {Goes l.) Mrs. T. {down c). But this can easily be explained. COPYWRIGHT. Suppose you try : I didn't have much suc- cess. But here he comes: where shall I go? {Runs adout.) Mrs. T. {to l.). In there (i e. l.), and don't come till I call. A PERSONAL MATTER. 10 COPYWRIGHT {aside). She needn't caution me. I expect he'll murder us both. {Exit E. i L.) Mr. T. {etiteritig d. in f.). Now, scoundrel, I'm ready for you. {Sees Mrs. T.) Oh, ho, ma'am, where is he ? What have you done with him ? {Down c.) Mrs. T. (l.). He is safe. Will you hsten to reason? Mr. T. If you mean listen to you, which is quite a dif- ferent thing, I won't. He's there, I know. Let me get at him. Mrs. T. Never, sir, until you have heard the truth. Mr. T. Have you the face to defend your lover, wo- man ? r 1 i- ir Mrs. T. Mr. Tapscott, you are makmg a fool of yourself. Mr. T. Not a bit. It is your Copywright who has been making a fool of me. Mrs. T. One fool, Mr. T? He must be a bunglmg workman, for there is material enough in you for half a dozen. Give me five minutes' attention, and you will agree with me. You have found a letter addressed to me. {Little c.) Mr. T. I should think so. To Mrs. Tapscott, present; Mr. Tapscott absent being understood. Oh ! I know you. Mrs. T. That letter concerns a little surprise I had planned for the anniversary of our wedding. Mr. T. Pooh, pooh ! {Goes R.) Mrs. T. {to c). I had planned to make my first appear- ance as an authoress, with the assistance of Mr. Copywright, in the pages of " The Milky Way." This was the surprise, this the business that brought him so often to the house. Mr. T. Ingenious, very. But your publisher addresses you as his dear Cynthia : how will you explain that ? Mrs. T. Very easily. "Cynthia" is the 7iom-de-plume under which I appear. I dare say Mr. Copywright hasn't the least idea that it isn't assumed. Mr. T. If your writing is fictional, Mrs. Tapscott, I 11 guarantee its success. Pile it on. Ed is his — his what d'ye call it, I presume. , , , Mrs. T. Any ordinarily intelhgent man would have at once recognized " Ed." as the abbreviation of editor. For Mr. Copywright has that relation to the magazine. Mr. T. Go it, go it! But I tremble for your future. {Aside.) There's fitness in that though : not being more than 20 A PERSONAL MATTER. half a man, he only signs half a name. {Aloud, tf'iujnpJi) But the proofs ! {Toe.) Mrs. T. {taking them from desk up r.). Are here. Mr. T. {looking it over). A story, — a trashy novel. Mrs. Tapscott, I ask you for facts, and you give me fiction. Is this right? These are no proofs. Mrs. T. But they are. {Downi.:) The corrected proofs of my novel. Mr. T. {embarrassed). Yes — to be sure — ahem! this is plausible. {Aside., pouting manuscript 07i table) I'm afraid I may have been rather hasty. Mrs. T. Well, sir, are you satisfied ? Mr. T. Well, I may — I say I may — have been deceived in this. But soft, one thing more : perhaps you can explain his blowing kisses to you. Mrs. T, Well, there is no great harm in a kiss, I am sure ; and when it's blown, whatever warmth and vigor it once possessed must be pretty well gone. Mr. T. Mrs. Tapscott, when I married you I swore to love and to cherish. I gave bonds to — Mrs. T. Bonds indeed, sir ! It is for you to explain, now, your visits to the young and fast — yes fast — widow at Chil- bury. Your Lobelia, sir. {Going r.) How could I have so far forgotten myself as to make explanations to such a mon- ster! Mr. T. {aside). She has read the Personal. Mrs. T. {going l.). My only course is a divorce. Thank Heaven! I am not friendless ! {Calls i e. l.) Come in, Mr. Copywright. Copy WRIGHT {entering i e. l. timidly). Is he rational yet } Mrs. T. {taking his ar?n). He won't murder any one now. His fangs are drawn. Mr. T. You have completely misunderstood that cursed Personal, my dear. It was merely an answer to my offer to the widow for — Mrs. T. I know, sir. Mr. T. She has lived extravagantly — Mrs. T. I know, sir. Mr. T. Was hard up, you see. Copywright {aside). That is evident enough. Mrs. T. I knov/ that very well, sir. Mr. T. {going R.). Hang it, Cynthia ! the moon is made of A PERSONAL MATTER. 21 green cheese, do you know that? If you know every thing, how the deuce am I to explain ? Mrs. T. You can't, sir : explanation will be thrown away. COPYWRIGHT. Yes, sir, thrown away. I have told her all. Mr. T. And a great deal more. Have you told her that Lobelia Cottage has been — Mrs. T. {dropping Copy Wright's arm). Lobelia Cottage ! CoPYWRiGHT. Yes, that is the rather fanciful name" of Mrs. Bonds' residence. Mrs. T. {going c). Well, go on. Mr. T. Has been advertised for sale for some time, in consequence of Mrs. Bonds' marriage and immediate de- parture for Europe ? CoPYWRiGHT. I didn't knov/ — I — Mr. T. You are a meddlesome old ass, sir ! Here is the whole story : Mrs. Bonds, who is to be married in a week, decided to sell her present residence in Chilbury. Knowing your desire for a seaside residence, I made offers. They were accepted, and the business was to have been settled to-day — Mrs. T. Well? Mr. T. But this well-meaning old fossil has ruined all. Five minutes ago I told her it was all off. Mrs. T. And she's gone ! Mr. T. Yes, unfortunately, back to Chilbury. COPYWRIGHT {going up c'.). Til do what I can to atone for my mistake. I'll bring her back. Mrs. T. {a little l.). If you are unsuccessful, I'll never forgive you ! {Exit Copywright d. in f.) {Paused) Mrs. T. I'm so ashamed of myself, Caddy ! It was all that Personal. Mr. T. {to R. c). I was a fool to have tried such a silly means of getting an answer, but I feared a letter might fall into your hands. Mrs. T. Why, Caddy, weren't you going to tell me ? Mr. T. On the anniversary of our wedding, dear. Can you forgive me, Cynthia ? Mrs't. {to him). With all my heart. Mr. T. {kissing Jie7'). But no more blowing kisses. Mrs, T. {looking at house., and drawing away from it). 22 A PERSONAL MATTER. ] Don't, Caddy, before so many people. It is horribly bad ; taste. People don't like these family scenes. (To house, '\ timidly.) You don't, do you ? No. Then will you excuse i us if we draw the curtain on our reconciliation .? Please do. ! I hope I have some friends here — yes — then you really ' must. I make it •: \ A Personal Matter. i Always Get the Best. 50 of the Choicest Selections in the M Eeading Club and Handy Speaker. Edited by Geokge M. Bakbr. Price, cloth, 60 cents; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. The Red Jacket Old Age Mahmoud ....... The Closet Scene from " Hamlet " How he saved St. Michael's . Bamson The Story of the Bad Little Boy who didn't come to Grief. Mr. Caudle and his Second Wife . Tauler The Doorstep =..... Old Farmer Gray gets photographed . Mr. O'Gallagher's Three Roads to Learning .... The Jester's Sermon •• The Boofer Lady " Defiance of Harold the Dauntless Battle Hymn .... The Story of the Faithful Soul ♦' Curfew must not ring To-Night ' The Showman's Courtship How Terry saved his Bacon . The Senator's Pledge Overthrow of Btjshazzar The Hour of Prayer The Squire's Story . The Happiest Couple Godiva ..... Farmer Bent's Sheep-Washing The Deutsch Maud Muller . Charles Sumner The Bricklayers A Stranger in the Pew . The Mistletoe-Bough . The Puzzled Census Taker . The Voices at the Throne Hans Breitmann's Party . Rob Uoy MacGregor Der Drummer .... The Yankee and the Dutchman's Dog Popping the Question The Bumpkin's Courtship The Happy Life At the Soldiers' Graves . Nobody tliere ...» The Factory-Girl's Diary in the Tunnel . . . • " .Jones " . The Whistler .... •' Good and Better " Jakie on Watermelon Pickle . The Old Methodist's Testimony Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price. LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston. George 31. Baker, Leigh Hunt. Aldine. Mark Twain. Douglas Jerrold^a Fireside Saint* Whittier. E. C. Stedman. John U. Yates. Capt. Mtirryat. Walter Thornbxiry. Dickens's " Mutual Friend.* Scott. Korner. Adelaide Procter. Rosa Hartwick Thorpe, Artemus Ward. Charles Sumner. Barry CornwalU Mrs. Ilemans, John Phoe-nidn. Sheridan. Tennyson. Carl Pretzel. Carl Schurz. G. H. Bame». Ilatper's Mag. Bayley. J. G- Saxe J. Westioood. Charles G. LelandU Waiter Scott- Charles F. Adams. Sir Henry Wotton^ Bobert Collyer. Anonymous. Morton. Too wiU find one of your Favorites among 50 of the Choicest Selections in the M Reading Olub and Handy Speaker Edited by George M. Bakeb. Price, cloth, 60 cents; paper, 15 cents. CONTENTS. The Rescue .... The Pickwickians on Ice . • A Picture Tube's Monuiuent . . . The Two Anchors . ri-e Old Ways and the New . By the Alma River . Trial Scene from "Merchant of Venice The Sisters .... Farm- Yard Song The Fortune-Hunter Curing a Cold .... Ill the Bottom Drawer Two Irish Idyls Over the Ri^^er .... The Modest Cousin . . . Biddy's Troubles The Man with a Cold in his Head Harry and I , . . . The Shadow on the Wall The Little Puzzler , A Traveller's Evening Song . Calling a Boy in the Morning . Cooking and Courting A Tragical Tale of the Tropics The Paddock Elms . The Bobolink .... Toothache The Opening of the Piano Press On The Beauty of Youth Queen Mab .... A Militia General Address of Spottycus Our Visitor, and what he came for »* What's the Matter with that Nose? " Workers and Thinkers The Last Ride . Baby Atlas Possession , There is no Death rhe Learned Negro (l^^earer, ray God, to Thee A Short Sermon 'broin' Home To-day The Broken Pitcher k Baby's Soliloquy The Double Sacrifice Sunday Morning Che Quaker Meeting John Brownjohn. Dickens. Mrs. H. A. Bingham, Elizabeth Kilham. R. H. Stoddard. John H. Yates. Miss Miiloch. Shakspeare. John G. Whittier. John G. Saxe. Mark Twain- Alfred Perceval Grates Priest. Sheridan Knowles. Sara\ M. B. PiaU, Mrs. Hemans. Tom to Ned. B. E. Wool/ Aldine. Atlantic Monthly, Park Benjamin. Theodore Parker. Romeo and Juliet, Thomas Corwin, Our Fat Contributor, Ruskin. M>ra Perry. Oicen Meredith. Sir E. Bulicer Lytton. Congre gationalist. Sarah F. Adams. Not by a Hard- Shell Bapiigk W. 3f. C'arleton. Anonymous. Arthur William Austin. George A. Baker, jun. Samuel Lover. ffoid by all booksellers and newsdealers, or sent by mail on receipt oj He* JmEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston BETTER THAN GOLD. A Drama in Four AcU, BY GEORGE M. BAKER. PRICE, 20 CENTS. Deservedly popular as are the plays written by Mr. 0«org« M. Baker, we have never seen or read any of his works which can equal " Better than Gold," which has just been published. The play is one which will become one of the greatest favorites among amateurs, and is sufiBlciently strong to merit a season upon the professional stage. The plot is cleverly conceived, and the parts are all good ones, which in proper hands must make the performance one pleasing to any audience. The parts are: a rather foolish old lawyer who weds a young wife, and is ruled by her ; a noble-minded man who, as the yeare change, sees his fortune, his manhood, and his good name swept from him, till at last, maddened by drink, he kills big wife, the whole turning out to be but a dream c ansed by hli first drunken carouse ; a good-natured, blundering young man : a dissipated and disinherited son, who by means of wine ana gambling gains what he deems his birthright (a strong chaiv acter, if well taken); and a colored servant. The ladles' part* are: an elderly lady, the housekeeper; two parts of nearly equal importance, for the leading lady and first walking lady; and a lighter, but still important part. We give thla lijst m order that companies in search of something new and power- ful may judge of the requirements of the piece. This play if so written that the first and last acts form a very pretty little play of themselves ; and a company which would be unable to properly perform the entire play could make a aacces* In these two acts. The second and third acta are supposed to b« a dream, and the play is very good with the third act omitted. However, the third act contains a good deal of heavy acting, and the opportunity will hardly be thrown away by the betttf companies, who have strong actors among their Memb«ni-» The Amateur Theatrical JoumaL GEORGE M. BAKER & CO., Publi»ii«fn, Bosa?02sr BY CEORCE Author of "Amateur Drainas'' " The Mimic i: Room Stage," " Handy Dramas" " Tlie Exh Titles in this Type are Titles in this Type are LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 016 211 635 In Four Acts. Better Than Gold. char 7 male, 4 female In Three Acts. Our Folks. 6 male, 5 female char. . , Tile Flower of the Family. 5 male, 3 female char Enlisted for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- male characters My Brother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- male char The Little Urown Jug, 5 male, 3 female char In Two Acts. Above the Clouds. 7 male, 3 female characters One Hundred Years Ago. 7 male, 4 female cliar Among the Breakers, 6 male, 4 female char Bread on the Waters, s male, 3 female char Down by thk Sea. 6 male, 3 female char Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. The Last Loaf, 5 male, 3 female char. In One Act. Stand by the Flag. 5 male char . i . The Teniiner. 3 male, i female char. COMEDIES AND FARCES. A Mysterious Disappearance. 4 male, 3 female char Paddle Your Own Canoe. 7 male, 3 female char A Drop too Much. 4 male, 2 female characters 4 Little More Cider, 5 male, 3 fe- male char A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 female ch.ir Never Say Die. 3 male, 3 female char. Seeing the Elephant. 6 male, 3 female char The Boston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- male char Thirty Minutes for Refreshments. 4 male, 3 female char We're oil Teetotalers, 4 male, a fe- male char Male Characters Only. A Close Shave. 6 char. A Public Benefactor. 6 char A Sea of Troubles. 8 char IS COMEDIES, &c., continued. Male Characters Only. A Tender Attachment. 7 char. ... 15 Coals of Fire. 6 char, o 15 Freedom of the Press. 8 char. ... 15 Shall Our Mothers Vote ? u char. 15 Gentlemen of the Jury 12 char- - . 15 Humors of the Strike. 8 char. . . 15 My Uncle the Captain. 6 char. . . 15 New Brooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . 15 The Great Elixir. 9 char 15 The Hypochondriac. 5 char 15 The Man with the Demijohn, 4 char. . . 15 The Runaways. 4 char 15 Thk Thief of Time. 6 char. . . . 15 Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. . . > 15 Female Characters Only. A Love of a Bonnet. 5 char. . . 15 A Precious Pickle. 6 char 15 No Ci.RE NO Pay. 7 char 15 The Champion of Her Sex. 8 char. . 15 The Greatest Plague IN Life. Scha. 15 The Grecian Bend. 7 char. .... 15 The Red Chignon. 6 char. .... 15 Using the Weed. 7 char. ..... 15 ALLEGOniES. Arranged for Music and Tableaux. Lightheakt's Pilgrimage. 8 female char 15 The Revolt of the Bees. 9 female char 15 The Sculptor's Triumph, i male, 4 fe- male char 15 The Tournament of Idylcourt. 10 female char 15 The ^Var of the Roses. 8 female char. 15 MUSICAL A17D LHAMATIC. An Original Idea, i male, x female char, xs Bonbons ; or, the Paint King. 6 male, 1 female char 25 Capuletta ; or, Romeo and Juliet Restored. 3 male, i female char. . 15 Santa Claus* "Frolics. ...... 15 Snow-bound; or, Alonzo the Brave and the Fair Imogene, 3 male, x female char . as The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe. . . 15 The Pedler of Very Nice. 7 male char ;•.,;••.• *S The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertam- ment. Numerous male and female char. 15 Too Late for the Train. 2 male char. 15 The Visions of Freedom. 11 female char. 15 Geo. M. Baker & Co., 41-45 Franklin St., Boston. Baker's Humorous Dialogues. Male characters only. 25ceDts. Baker's Humorous Dialogues. Female charactem only. 25 cenU.