PS 635 .Z9S552 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS DDDDETbTlET >" ^^-^^^ : >^ » « • ^■^^4'- y *^ '^0^ -Ao^ V > "^ J. ' . . » »o C^ ♦ * e „ ' . ^ • ' ' . V °^ 5^ ^ ^•,4^ ^^. ''•T^^Vx '^ <^ ; "^o^ 'bV" * ." ^^-^K. V ^0^ ^°'*, ■. A<=i .S-. ^ C^Uo A ^OClSl, I^IOK- A COMEDY X X A SOCIAL LION. A COMEDY -BY- EUGENE SHERIDAN. ALL RIGHTS RBSER VED, t ^ New York, December, 1890, T*^^^ n ^ ^5-^" -^c^^^ Copyright, 1888, BY Eugene Sheridan. TMP96-006436 DRAMATIS PERSON^. Lord Marley Sir Harry Jenkins Charles Seymour Edward Forrest David Wii^liamson , C01.0NEL Potter „ . Mr. Graham {a Londo?i detective) Mrs. Harriet Williamson Miss Ada Williamson .'. .. Mrs. Martha Braddox Miss Snap Miss Randall Miss Edith Forrest Servant SYNOPSIS OF ACTS. Act I. Scene : House and grounds of Mr. David Williamson, Newport, "He may take back with him an American wife." " My first introduction to royalty." Sentiments not calculated to keep one from going to the poor-house. ' ' If you wish to succeed attach a handle to your name." The social lion. " Every inch a lord!" The Colonel's wooing. A scheming mother. " A title around which Ada, yes, beauty, wealth and fashion incessantly revolve." Act 2. Scene i. Lord Marley 's apartments in the Bucking- ham Hotel. The social lion in training. The pet — the dar- ling of American society. " Come along, my boy, we have struck a rich vein at last !" Act 2. Scene 2. Drawing room in Mr. Williamson's house. " A reception to Lord Marley." The ancestry of the family. "It's easier for a miser to despise gold, or tor a man three months after marriage to call his wife an angel, than for a pen- niless girl to marry a nobleman." "Suspicious as Othello and just as wrong." " It will add to the dignity of the fam- ily." " Would you marry Mr. Seymour and sink into obliv- ion ?" Social position vs. Honor. "I could cut a figure in societv that would drive all the girls frantic." The Boston dip. " What ho ! Help ! help ! The man is mad !" Act 8. Scene i. Eooni in Mr. Edward Forrest's hou.se. " Ada dead ?" Defeat. The plan of action. Act 3. Scene 3. lyibrary in Mr. David Williamson's house. "You are utterly heartless ! You should consider who I^ord Marley is." " You will have the honor to be connected with one of the first' families in England. " '' I'll see him to the devil first." " It's re-gal-ized robbery." " They come high — yes, darn high ?" " If the man were a physical, aye a mental irnbecile — yes even a knave, you would have sacrificed me to be addressed as I^ady Marley. Vulgar fellow !" Act 4. Scene i. Room in Mr. Fonest's house. "An un- worthy social ambition, a juggernaut that rides over and crushes out every pleasant relationship of life." Ossification of the heart. Quick, or it may be too late ! Act 4. Scene 2. Home of Mr. Braddox. " She was brought up in a certain fashionable set, the main chance being the prominent idea." " Considering who her father was three balls would be more appropriate " "I cannot risk a scene." " 1 would like to be in at the finish" " A less plebeian name would take half the sting out of it." ' ' He's clever" ' ' This is my faith in Lord Marley." " A vile conspiracy." A case of hysterics. Those " 75,000 pds. are all right." " What will become of me ? Amid all this glitter of rank, this fascination for title, which seems to turn people's heads and draw out their very souls and senses, leaving them mere automatons, to be swayed by him who is possessed of the same, we find some in whom reason predominates, who recognize that moral and intellectual worth count for something ; rank, position, title, for nothing when standing alone." " Bv Jove ! every inch a Lord ! Ha, ha, ha !" ACT I. Scene — Cottage and grounds ol Mr. David WilliattlsOtl, Newport, R. I. [Ada discovered making a boutonniere.] Ada. There now, I am sure he will like this ! A nice boutonniere. These flowers are just lovely and in keeping with his complexion too, and somewhat of the kind he has been sending me ; no doubt mere courtes}- on his part, — it couldn't be otherwise, I'm quite sure of that ! but still he sends them day after day, and pays me so much attention ! I wonder does lyord Marley think — No ! No ! Such thoughts are but treasou to Charles ! \_Enter Charles from House.~\ Charles. Ah, Ada ! Ada. [Startled] Oh ! Is it you ! Charles. Why, have I startled you ? Ada. Yes — somewhat. Charles. Is the sound of my voice so unfamilar to you Ada, as to give you a shock ? Ada. You know, Charles, I'm so nervous that the least noise coming upon me suddenly, quite startles me. Charles. A bouquet ? Ada. a boutonniere. Charles. And may I ask for whom ? Ada. For you, if you wish. Charles. For me, if I wish ? Ada. Certainly. Charles. But surely the acceptance of i/a's may pos.sibly deprive another of what was intended for him ! Ada. But he can have another one, — this will be for you. Charles. And may I ask who he is? Ada. Ivord Marley ! Charles. I^ord Marley ! Ada. Surely you are not astonished at that ! Charles. I confess I am not, Ada. Ada. There is a tinge of sarcasm in that replj', Charles, totally out of place ; there is nothing to warrant it, I'm sure ! Charles. No ofi^ence, dear Ada, but when one considers that it has been for some time past, nothing but " Lord Marley this, Lord Marley that," one can come to no other con- cUision than that the whole thought, — the whole object of men and women is, to laud Lord Marley. Ada. Laud Lord Marley ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! His advent here has actually developed wit and humor in you ! Laud Lord Marley ! That's very good ot you — very clever ; but seriously, dear Charles, can 3,ou blame us ? A lord is a rarity — a rara avis, if you wish. Of the commonality there are legions — of lords, dukes, earls, etc, there are but few. Of the one we see daily — of the other, once in a lifetime. Would you then deprive us of taking advantage of that once in a lifetime ? Charles. Is it possible, Ada, that the creation of an ances- try raceives more consideration at your hands, than the crea- tions of man's own individual effort — man's own worth ? Has he done anything, said anything that man's existence has been bettered, that entitles him to be aped in word and deed? Ada. Just like you ; not a bit of sentiment in your whole make up ! Charles. Sentiment! I'm possessed of it as much as any, but of that peculiar sentiment I'm glad it does not enter into m^' make up. If it did, I would change my style of dress, change my natural way of walking, my manner of speech, and affect a drawl. My treatment of men and women, when a man of title would be around, would also change, and possibly as a woman, I might be industriously engaged in making bouton- naires ! Ada {indignantly) Charles ! Enter Miss Randall. Miss R. Mr. Seymour, Col. Potter has been looking for you inside Charles- I 'U be in direct^. Ada. a boutonniere before you go. {Places boiitomiiere on coat) There now ! The contrast is so favorable — every inch a lord ! Charles. You are evidently not given to complimenting me to-day, Ada ! {Exit.) Miss R Oh, dear, isn't he splendid ! Ada. Indeed he is. 7 Miss R. Tells such droll stories, carries himself so well — perfectly charming ! Ada. Whom do you mean ? Miss R. Why, lyord Marley, of course ! Ada. I thought you had reference to Mr. Sejnnour. Miss R. How absurd ! I mean that while Mr. Seymour has all those qualities, there is a lack, not alone in him, hut in all the gentlemen, of that " nameless, indefinable something," that stamps them differently from Lord Marley. Ada. Isn't he lovely ? Miss R. Exquisitely charming, and what is more, he is not married ! Ada. He may take back with him an American wife. It seems the fashion now. Miss R. I'm sure there is not one of the girls but wishes it were true, and that one of us would be fortunate enough to have that honor. Enter Miss Snap. Ada. Here is Miss Snap. Miss S. Just think of it ! I missed the train, and had to wait an hour ! An hour of misery, but where is Lord Marley ? Pray introduce me ! Ada. He has gone with father to the stables. Miss S. Will he be back soon? I'm dying to be intro- duced ! {Goes over and looks down the road). No, not in sight ! If I were a man, when I missed that train, I'm sure I would have said something horrid. Ada. Patience, now, Miss Snap. Miss S. Is he young — handsoTie ? Oh, what foolish ques- tions ! What difference does it make anyhow ! Tell me all about him Do, do ! Ada. If I should commence, why we would have no time for anything else. So you must get your imagination to work. Miss S. Why, it has been at work ever since I received your letter ! (Listen) Footsteps ! It must be he ! [All move over towards the road.] ' Pshaw !' Only the Gardener ! Ada. Patience now, Miss Snap, you'll see him ! Miss S. A lord — a real live lord ! And on these grounds too ! My first introduction to royalty ! How shall I act ? 8 What shall I say ? I'm afraid I'll be unable to use my tongue — such introductions are so rare ! Ada. Act ! Why just as if he were an ordinary common- place man. \_Enter Edith from House.'] Edith. Why, Miss Snap, you here ! Miss S. I heard that you had a real live lord here, and naturally I came to see him. Did you see him — talk to him — and what do you really think of him — is he every inch a lord ? Edith. \_Shrugs her shoulders.] Ada. Edith didn't go into raptures over him. Miss S. Didn't! Didn't/ Edith's tastes are evidently plebeian ! Edith. If the recognition that a man's a man for all that is plebeian, I have no desire for a change ! Ada. Well ! well ! Edith, you and Mr. Seymour are well matched in sentiment ! Edith. Complimentary to me, I am sure ! Miss R. Very pretty sentiments, but I must say, ones that are not calculated to keep one from going to the poor-house. Miss S. Well, I'll give you all fair warning. I'm longing for a place among the aristocracy. I shall capture the man, if possible, who can offer me a title. I don't care whether it is Duchess this or Eady that, or not being able to catch them, why Mrs. Col. Snap, or Mrs. Eieutenant Snap will do. Miss R. Hush ! \_Goes over to the road, followed by all ex- cept Edith.] Edith. \_Aside] I would rather have the love of Mr. Sey- mour than ail the lords in creation. So sensible, so manly. Ah, but it cannot be, he's pledged to Ada, and he shall never know of my love ! Miss S. I think here they come ! Ada. Come away from there, Miss Snap ! It will not do to let him see us watching for his coming. [^Atid all move away and co7iverse in dumb show ] Miss R. Here they come ! Hush ! Miss S. What shall I say ? \_Footsteps are heard, and con- versation.] Ada. Hush ? [^All converse with backs to road.] \_Enter two stablemen, who pass down the roadJ] Miss S. Pshaw! They have gone down the road! \_All ?nove over on tip toes and look J] Why, it's only the stablemen — not he at all ! Ada He'll be here soon. Come, Edith, let's go down to the orchard. Miss S. Yes, we may meet him on the way. \^Exit all.'] [Enter Col PoTTER and Mr. Seymour.] Charles. And what, Colonel, do you propose to do ? You and youth will at some time be distant friends. Col,- F. That doesn't trouble me in the least. I recognize while there's life there's hope, you know. Just as soon as I find myself rheumatic, baldheaded, in fact after all the little youth and beauty which I possess now are gone — why I'll do it. Charles. What ! Surely you don't intend making away with yourself ! Col. p. Yes, after a fashion. The fact is, when I reach the aforesaid condition, I shall skirmish around to find some young woman who is anxious to be an old man's darling. Charles. Do you expect to have much trouble in your skirmish ? CoL- P. Trouble ! (Aside) How unsophisticated ! Not the slightest. But vou appear to be astonished. Young men like you in love generally are. Charles. But, Colonel Potter— Col. p. That will do. I have been young once upon a time, and while having all the impulsiveness of youth, had all the prudence of well settled manhood, and though I have ex- perienced slightly the tender passion, it never carried me to extremities. Charles. Extremities ! Col. p. Extremities -taat is. going to the extent of asking some fair creature whose angel she was ; but I assure you if the tender passion permeates this callous heart, I'll succumb. {Aside) It will take a fat bank account to permeate it, though. Charles. If one should judge by your attentions to Mrs, Braddox, your callous heart has been pierced. Col- p. (Aside) She's worth $200,000. No chance there. lO She's a widow, and widows are not inclined to be old men's darlings ; it's only the debutantes in the marriage line, or in other words, the unsophisticated lasses, that make old men's darlings. Ch ARISES Colonel have you met Lord Marley before this ? Col. p. Yes ; I have had that honor. Charlks. Well, what do you think of him ? Col. P- He is all the rage ! Charles- Yes ; and while here, we are nothing but wall flowers. Col- p. Naturally. But did you notice his shape ? . Why I have been practising his style ever since I met him. {Imi- tates Lord Marley.) Charles. Can it be possible, Colonel ? CoL- P- If not. why not ? I am a man of fashion, in the swim, and go with the tide. The girls dote on his shape, admire his walk, and affect his mode of .speech. Charles. And surely what the girls dote on you seek ! CoL- P- Can you blame me ? Charles. This Lord Marley may be an impostor ! CoL- P- Impostor ! Pshaw ! When he comes, just watch him ; a lord every inch. The women never hint he is an im- postor ; it's only you young fellows, seeing that homage is paid him. Charles- His title you mean ! CoL. P. Well, it's a fact that homage is paid, and if you wish for the good graces, attention, etc., from the women, I'll tell how to do it. Charles. I suppose it is to act decently, be a gentleman, treat them with the utmost respect. CoL- P- Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! How unsophisticated ! One would think that you saw very little of society — but those qualities nevertheless may succeed — but there must not be a man of title in sight. Charles. I confess that society was never sought after much by me. Col. p. No ; never until you met Miss Williamson Now don't attempt to explain anything. It's well known of your engagement. it Charles. Well, Colonel, you were about to give me a recipe for social homage. CoL- P. Yes. If you wish to succeed, attach a handle to your name, the higher the better. A general receives more attention than a captain. A captain more than a lieutenant, and so on. Its a condition that exists in all kinds of society, the upper as well as the lower strata. I saw that many years ago, and remembering I was a colonel in the militia once upon a time, attached colonel persistently to my name, and what a metamorphosis ! As plain Mr. Potter I was nobody, as Colonel Potter I was somebody. Charles. Then while Lord Marley is here we will do to fill up the vacant corners. Col. p. Yes, and it's the fashion. Charles. Where are the ladies ? Col- p. Where's Lord Marley ? Charles. Down to the stables. Col P- Come down to the stables — we will find the ladies. Charles. [Going towards the road.] So gentlemanly deportment, intellectual and moral worth will fail, but a title of any kind worked up in the proper manner gives one an ' ' open sesame ' ' to society ? Col. p. Undoubtedly. Charles. Where does the man come in ? CoL- P. Nowhere ! Charles. Where does the title come ? CoL- P. Everywhere ! [Exit both]. £nfer Lord MarlEy, Mr. and Mrs. Williamson. Lord M. 'Pon my word, Mr. Williamson, this is a perfect paradise. Ah ! it reminds me of home ! Mrs. W. We are much flattered that your lordship, who has travelled so much, who has seen such grand places in your own country, should bestow a word of praise on it. Lord M. It's perfectly charming, I assure you. In my travels I have seen very few more delightful places. Mrs. W. Talking of travels, it reminds me of my visit to Paris ! Mr. W. |[Aside] Good gracious, that visit to Paris again. Mrs. W. Sir William Black, who visited us last year tears since I heard you use such a vulgar expression. Mr VV. There is justification for it. It's the first time I have had real cause. Mrs. W. You needn't get excited over it. Mr \V. Excited ! To think of it is like taking a Turkish bath [Mops his head with a bandanna handkerchief.] Great Caesar ! I spent ten years of my life trying to scrape together $2,000 75,000 pounds, about $375,000 for his consent. Whew ! [Wipes his head.] I'll be — [Hesitates.] Mrs- W. Well, Mr. Williamson, you might as well finish it. Mr. W. Well, I'll be— dashed if I'll consent to it. Mrs. W. [Takes white handkerchief from her pocket, goes over and takes bandanna hankerchief away from him.] Here — use this. Display some taste before his lordship ! Mr. W. Taste ! This letter is a taste enough of his lord- ship for me. 54 Mrs. W. Atn I to understand then that the engagement must be broken ? Mr. W. Yes ; break it or it will break me ! He is to blame — he asks too much. Mrs. W. You should consider the ways of these people — their habits, their customs, their manner of doing things. Mr. W. Yes. I have considered their ways of doing things, and no doubt t/iey have considered the way we look at things. Mrs W. They bestow on us what wealth cannot buy. Mr. W. Usless it be by a marriage to a nobleman's son, eh? Mrs. W. Things have gone too far, now ! Mr. VV. When his lordship's lather is willing to give his consent for 75,000 pounds, I'm decidedly of that opinion. I never got a cent with you, and never expected any ! Mrs. W. The marriage has been announced. Why, we would iDe covered with everlasting ridicule ! Mr. W. You were in too great a hurry to announce Ada's engagement, and now I'm asked to settle 75,000 pounds in order that the world shall not have a chance to give vent to its ridicule. Mrs. W. Consider Ada's feelings. Mr W. [Aside. 75,000 pounds ! ] Ada's feelings? Mrs. W. Certainly ; you would not be so unfatherly as to prevent Ada from becoming I^ady Marley ? Mk. W. [Aside.] It would be cheaper to have her Mrs. Seymour. Mrs. W. Just imagine the prestige it would give us ! How everybody would stare as I^ady Marley entered. Mr. W [Aside.] Yes — at the 75,000 pounds prize beauty ! Mrs. W. Surely, you would not let 75,000 pounds put an end to the hopes, the aspirations of Ada — our only child ! The time — the opportunity is here ! Mr. W. I would not object to 10,000 pounds, but 75,000 ! Mrs. W. It's a case whether you shall ruin Ada's prospects of happiness — of my happiness. You know full well the struggle we had to gain our position in society. We have all the money we need — more than we can possibly spend, and you let me believe that you prefer that to our happiness. I cannot — I cannot believe it. [Sobs.] 55 Mr. W. Well, I'll write and tell him I'll settle 25,000 pounds on Ada. Mrs. W. Would you insult him b}' bargaining like a bidder at an auction for his son ? Mr W. But 75,000 is one-third of my fortune ! Mrs. W. I have $50,000 in my own name Ada shall have that, and besides Mr. W. No ! no ! no ! Keep that ! Mrs. W. Then whatever right I would have as a widow. I resign ! Mrs. W. Eh ! You a widow — and what would I be ! Mrs. W. You would be [hesitating] an angel, of course ! Mr. W. Then it would be paradise lost or paradise found for one of us ! Mrs. W. [Coaxingly] Come now, David, no jesting. Isn't Ada your only child ? Mr. W. Yes. Mrs. W. Isn't she my only child ? Mr. W. Yes. Mrs. W. Isn't she our only child ? Mr. W. Yes ! Yes ! Mrs. W. And shall we not make her future secure — happy ? Shall we not, David ? [Advances towards him.] Mr W. [Pausing. Aside] [If I don't, good-bye to all happiness on this earth] Well ! w^ell ! lyCt it be so ! Mrs. W. I knew when it was put in the right light, your better and generous nature would assert itself. Mr. W. [Aside] When a wife threatens to make herself a widow, prudence would dictate the advisability of consenting to anything. If this thing hadn't gone .so far, the Earl would have to look out for another father who was looking for his consent at the rate of 75,000 pounds /t'r son. They come high — yes, darn high, but we must have them ! Mrs. W. You will write at once to the Earl, David ? Mr. W. Yes — to-night. Mrs. W. I'll go and acquaint Ada with the good news ! [Exit.] Mr. W. Seventy-five thousand pounds ! I'll be hanged if I wouldn't like to see Mr. Seymour elope with Ada to-morrow ! 56 But I fear there is no hope for my 75,000 pounds in that direc- tion. Ada is determined to marry his lordship. Well ! well ! It's a case of marrying one's daughter on a royalty ! [Exit.] Enter Mrs. B. and Edith. Edith Talking of marriage, Mrs. Braddox, unless all signs fail, you certainly have made a conquest of Col. Potter. Mrs. B. Col. Potter — the confirmed old bachelor, whom no woman could interest more than a friend ! Edith. Yes — Col. Potter ! Mrs. B. That's exceedingly complimentary. Does he give any external signs ? Edith. When you enter his eyes seek you, when you retire his eyes follow. There is a brightness — a chippiness about the Colonel in your presence that can only be evidence of a more than friendly feeling. Mrs. B. Dear me ! How you young women ever interpret courtesy as a sign of love, I don't know ! Edith. Well, if Col. Potter within a short time does not be on his knees at your feet, then I'll admit I'm a poor in- terpreter. Mrs B. On his knees ! Think you that Col. Potter makes love in that way? Edith. He is a great stickler for old fashioned ways, and if he suddenly drops on his knees, don't think anything less of him His language will make up for his lack of nineteenth century methods. Mrs. B. [Aside.] As If I were not avva^e of the Colonel's love ! I'm glad you warned me I can anticipate such an action, and ~ Edith. And will not be taken by surprise? By the way, here he comes. \Enter Coiv- PoTTER a7id Chari^ES ] CoL. P. Yes ; it is true ! Charles. It sounds like a tale of the 13th century. CoE. P. Yes; but it's of the 19th It's not impossible, or improbable. The ladies will agree to that ! Mrs. B. Tell us, Colonel ! Col p. I was telling Mr. Seymour of a poor young man 57 whose only objection to marrying a wealthy young lady was — what do you think ? Mrs. B. Here's I^ord Marle}^ and Ada. Probably he can answer that. Enter I,ord Marley and Ada. Mrs. B. Come ! Come ! Lord Marley, Col. Potter is going to astonish us. Edith. [Aside] Mr. Seymour, remember — be calm. Coiv. P. Yes, a poor young man's reason for refusing to marry a wealthy young lady was Lord M. Well — let me see ! Because he was — Ah ! — Let me see ! Because he was an idiot. Ada. That's very good — and very true ! Coi.. P. No ! Mrs. B. Well, because he was too fat ! CoL- P. Fat ! That's no impediment ! Edith. Well, then, too thin ? Col. p. What ! The story ? Edith. Oh ! No, Colonel ! Lord M. That's clever ! Charles. Well, because [hesitating.] Edith. [Aside] Mr. Seymour ! Charles. Because he thought he could do better — that bigger game was his ! Col. p. No — something more romantic. The objection on the score of fatness or leanness is decidedl}^ unworldly. Mrs. W. You must confess, though. Colonel, if that were the case, it would in a great measure stimulate the develop- ment of the perfect shape — neither too fat nor too lean. Edith. I'm sure the modistes already recognize the fact, and we also. Col- P- To the objection ! Ada. Probably her wealth was so tied up that he saw not the slightest chance to get at it ! Lord M. Ah ! That's probable ! Col. P- The reasons given, while entirely probable and worldl}^, are far away. The young ^man's only objection was on account of her great wealth. Lord M. Deucedly absurd ! 58 Mrs. B. Impossible ! Ada. He must be out for an' hour or so — from paradise ! Edith. Decidedly romantic ! CoTy. P. Well, he was determined not to marry a woman who had more than he, and she, seeing with her present wealth that he would be lost to her, settled all her wealth on her re- lations, and, of course, the only objection being overcome, he married her ! IvORD M. Ah, Colonel, if you please — I'll continue. Well, you see the young man found it hard to get along, and in a fit of desperation caused by hunger, ordered his wife to try and get her wealth back from her relations. She went and she went. Her relations actually denied her, and said she must be a little touched up here. The wife soon after died, and the young man has the reputation now of being a persistent fortune hunter. Am I right, Colonel Potter ? Col. p. Well, I only got as far as the marriage. Mrs. W. When and where did all this take place ? Col. p. Last night about 12 o'clock. Edith. At 12 o'clock ! Colonel, was it a dream ? Col. p. It was. Ha ! ha ! ha ! \Enter servant announcing dinfier.'] Ada. Come, gentlemen, to dinner. [Exit all except CoL. P. ^^^Mrs. B., who delay going.'] Mrs. B. Ha ! ha ! Just like you. Colonel, always romanc- ing—always so amusing and good-humored. Col. P- I'm told that I'm just the reverse. Mrs. B. a libel. Do you know, Colonel, I never saw you otherwise than smiling ? Col. p. I never had occasion to do otherwise. Mrs. B. Probably because you never married. Col. P- It's only married people, or those who were mar- ried apparently, that can come to that conclusion. Mrs. B. [Aside] I'll draw him out. Then, Colonel, if a smile is an indication of happiness, never get married. Col. P- If I did there would be a perpetual smile on all my friends' faces, and why shouldn't I contribute to their happi- 59 ness by some sacrifice ? As a soldier, I should brave all dan- gers. Mrs. B. It's the height of selfishness for one to give no thought to any one but himself. Col. p. Ah, Mrs. Braddox, you are a woman after my own heart ! Mrs. B. Ah, Col. Potter, you are a man after mine ! Col. P. [Aside] She's hit it ! Mrs. Braddox, I have known you for quite a while. Mrs. B. Yes, Colonel, quite a while. Col. p. [Aside] Now's my opportunity. [Advances, takes her hand.] Mrs. Braddox, we have known each other for some time. Mrs. B. Yes, Col. Potter ! Col. p. I always thought that there would never be a woman possessed of sufiScient charm of mind and body to cap- tivate me, but I am mistaken. Mrs. B. [Aside] It's coming. CoL. P. And — [drops his handkerchief unnoticed by Mrs. B., and stoops to pick it up.] Mrs. B. [Aside] On his knees ? It's coming. {Enter Mfts. Williamson.] Mrs. W. Are you coming to dinner, Colonel ? Col. p. Yes ! Yes ! Mrs. B. We're coming. CoL. P. [Aside.] Hang it ! I'll have to go through the same thing again ! [Exit alL] \_E71ter Col. p. a7id Charles.] Col. p. My dear boy, if I were you, I would marry her to- morrow. Charles, Do you think Ada — Col. p. Think ! My dear boy he is making as desperate attempt to capture her heart or fortune as I am the widow's. Lord Marley has turned the headsof all the women, except Mrs. Braddox, and I hope her's is turned in my direction. CharlBS. Do you think he has succeeded ? Col. p. There is every evidence that he may. Candidly, I think Ada plays love to you in the evening after practicing all day with lyord Marley. It seems to be a settled thing, as far 6o I can see, that every woman who meets him, loses her head. ChARIvES. Be serious, Colonel ! What do you mean ? Col- P- I have seen them very frequently in the park. CHAK.LKS That's mere hospitality ! Coi.. P- Yes, hospitality. [Aside.] When he is on this earth a little longer, he will recognize the difiference between hospitality and desperate love making. Charles. I thank you, Colonel. COL- P- I never refuse assistance to the blind. CharIvES. I'm going to the ball room. Colonel. Coi<. P. This way to the ball room, my boy. CharIvES- That's the wine room ! Coiy. p. A distinction without a difiference. Chari.es. Joking again, Colonel. [Aside.] I shall see her now ! [Exit.] CoL. P. I think I did right in telling him ! He is being duped and is as blind as all true lovers are — I mean young lovers. I'm somewhat in love myself, but have not as yet lost my eyesight. I'm afraid if Lord Marley proposes to Ada, it disposes of Mr. Seymour. An aversion to royalty doesn't run in her blood. I can't trouble myself about every one's love affairs. I have all I can do to take care of my own. The case of Potter vs. Braddox. I must not let her see that I'm too anx- ious, or that I am making a dead set for her— or at least for her $200,000. She is a widow, and ordinarilj- widows to me are not quite eligible, but they become very eligible when they possess ^200,000, and are then available for matrimonial pur- poses. I must be cautious. It would be to one in my financial condition a terrible calamity to frighten her. Widows of her age, generally, do not require much energy to catch, but widows of her age and her wealth, require both tact and diplo macy to handle. I must stick close to her, and I will ! [Exit ] {JEntcr Ada.] t, Ada. [Calls] L,ord Marley ! Lord Marley ! I'm su'e he came this way ! He must have gone in the other room ! [About going out] There's Charles— Mr. Seymour ! All alone, too ! I dislike to meet him alone ! He knows noth- ing as yet of my engagement to Lord Marley, though he looks hard at me ! Why didn't ma write him at once and end 6i the matter ? [Looking] He is going awa}^ ! No— he appears to be looking for some one— probably for me ! If ma were only here! He's coming! I must not see him ! [Runs over into the ante-room.] \Enter Charles.] Charles. I cannot find her ! She is not with Lord Marley. She came this way, I'm sure. Where could .she have gone ? [Calls] Ada ! Ada ! No— not here. Strange ! Very strange ! They give me no evidence that the story is true. They receive me as of yore, but Ada seems somehow to avoid me as if she fears to meet me alone ! I fear it is but too true, and that I have been duped — if it be ! They tell me to be calm — I trust I may ! I must manage to see her ! I must ! [Exit.] \Euter Ada from room ] Ada. [Cautiously looking] He's gone. He is looking for me. He has heard something. Oh, if I can only avoid meet- ing him to-day, then father can write him, and it may keep him away. I must join them at once. [About going out, Charles passes entrance and sees Ada.] {Enter Ch ARISES.] Charles. Ada ! Ada. Oh, is it you ? Why are you not dancing ? Charles. I have lost ah interest in dancing today, Ada. Ada. I have promised Lord Marley the next dance, and no doubt he is awaiting my coming. Pray excuse me. [About retiring.] Charles. Ada, I wish to speak with you for a moment only. Ada. Some other time. I must keep my engagement. Charles. [Aside] She does not call; me by name. Ada, I would speak to you ! [Standing before her, prevents her exit.] Ada. You must excuse me. I cannot be so discourteous to Lord Marley as to geep him waiting. Charles. I have been waiting this opportunity all day. I must talk to you now I Ada. Must.' Pray let me pass ! This is exraordinary ! [About to pass, he prevents her.j Sir ! Mr. Seymour ! Charles. [Surprised.] [Aside.] Mr. Seymour ! Ah ! it's true ! 62 Ada. Allow me to pass, Mr. Se3'moiir ! Charles Mr. Seymour ! Mr. Seymour ! [Pause.] Ada — Mr. Seymour ? Mr. Seymour ? You never addressed me thus, why do you now ? Speak ! Still silent ? Ada, your looks — your silence convey some hidden meaning ! Ada I'll explain some other time. Allow me to keep my engagement ! Charles. Is it true that — Ada. I'll explain some other time. [About to pass.] Charles. [Excitedly.] No ! No ! Not until you tell me with your own lips that you have played me false. [Advances towards her.] Ada. [Retreating.] Would you do me violence ? Charles. Yes ! [Grabs her by the wrist ] No ! No ! I shall not harm you. [Pulls paper from pocket.] Is this re- port of your engagement to Lord Marley true ? Ada I,et us be friends, Mr. Seymour. It's true we have been engaged, but I confess now that I did not know my heart at the time ! Charles. Friends ! [Throws her arm away.] Friends ! This from you^yoii to whom I gave the first love of my heart — whose vows you accepted, and ere they were cold, accepted another — yon who would so ruth lejBsly sweep aside every tender feeling of n\Q.n— you who sported with a heart, and then when it suited your convenience, cast it aside and trampled it under your feet— yozi who would make a plaything of the affections of a man, and make him a subject of jest for the crowd, could, yes would come to him with careless lips and sa}' — let us be friends ! Ada. I trust Mr. Seymour, you will recognize the inevita- ble. We cannot be lovers— shall we not be friends ? [Holds out hand.] Charles. Friends ! Friends ! So this is the recompense for all my years of devotion — to be cast off — not because I have been guilty of any dishonorable or disreputable act — but for what? In order to gratify your social ambition. If the man were a physical, aye a mental imbecile — a fool — yes, even a knave — you would have sacrificed me to be addressed as Lady Marley. Ada. How dare you ? Charles. How dare I ? I who have been made a puppet 63 — a thing of convenience ! Why, I could — [Advances towards her.] Ada. [Retreating] Ma ! Ma ! Ma ! Charles. No ! no ! I shall not do you violence. \_E71ter Mrs. Wii.i- to be in at the finale. [Exit both.] i^End of Scene i, Act IV.) Scene 2. Drawing-room in Mrs. Braddox's house. Miss Randall and Miss Snap discovered seated. Miss S. Well, she got him at last ! Miss R. Yes, after a great deal of fishing ! Miss S. And Mr. Seymour was heartlessly thrown over- board. 69 Miss R. It was awfully mean,' the way^it was done|! Miss S. I'm not surprised. Miss R. Neither am I. Miss S. I always thought her somewhat giddy ! Miss R- Well, what can you expect? She was brought up in a certain fashionable set, the main chance being the prominent idea. Miss S. Did you hint to Lord Marley what Mrs. William- son's father's business was ? Miss R. Yes, and he simply said — " Ah !" Miss S. I cannot see for the life of me what he can see in her! Miss R. Oh, she's the only daughter, and her prospective wealth attracted him. If she were of a large family, she would never have got him. Miss S. I wonder what the settlement was ! Miss R. It must have been at least $300,000. Miss S. Do you think it was worth that much ? Miss R. Well, they always look for a big settlement. Miss S. I hardly think Mr. Williamson would settle that amount. Miss R. Mr. Williamson has the reputation of being some- what close, but Mrs. Williamson would live on bread and water the rest of her life, to form such a connection. Miss. S. That's so ! Why, Sir William Black visited her last year, and she did nothing but drum into every one's ear, " Mr. friend. Sir William Black." Miss R. I suppose we will be unable to stand her now ! She's satisfied ; she's got what she has been looking for ! Miss S. I met her a few days ago, and she was a little stiff. She told me .she had discharged all her help. Miss R. By the way, she has a coat of arms on her carriage — a crown, a lion, and something else. Miss S. Considering who her father was, three balls would be more appropriate. Miss R. Have you seen Mr. Seymour ? Miss S. I .saw him yesterday. We laughed and joked, but avoided the subject of Ada's marriage. His heart wasn't broken. Miss R. Dear me, one time a man threatens to kill every- 70 body, all on account of his lady love, and the next minute he hardly knows that she ever existed. Miss S, Oh, we'll never understand the men, until we marry one of them ! Miss R. Come, let us go up stairs. [Exit both.] {Enter Mrs, Braddox. Mrs. B. I do hope Mr. Seymour will not take advantage of the invitation I sent him to come here. Courtesy prompted it, though prudence should have warned me not to do so. He knows that Lord Marley will be here, and if they meet the the house may be the scene of another disturbance. Well ! Well ! He will not come, I'm sure As to Ada — what a train- ing she received. Her mother being deprived of what she called a social life, by her marriage to Mr. Williamson, deter- mined that Ada should not, and inculcated in her a desire — a love for position, and Ada now follows her early training and sacrificed a loving heart. I trust she may never have occasion to regret it — that is m the life she chooses ! {Enter Servant, anjiounces Mr. Forrest.] Mrs. B. Mr. Forrest ! What can he want here at this hour! I did not invite him — as his fiasco with Lord Marley caused them to hate each other. It must be something important or he would never call. [To servant] Show the gentleman up. [Exit servant.] {Enter Mr. Forrest.] Mrs. B. To what am I indebted, Mr. Forrest, for the pleas- ure of this call? Mr. F. You may think it strange to have a call from me at this time, but it is on business most urgent. Is there anybody here as yet? Mrs. B. Miss Randall and Miss Snap are up stairs. Mr. F. I would, Mrs. Braddox, speak to you about Lord Marley. Mrs, B. Any accident befall him ? Mr. F. No ; but there may be a serious one for him in a short time. Mrs. B. Now, Mr. Forrest, if you are going to bring up, I 71 must sa}^ yovir delusion about Lord Marley, I think we had better change the subject. Mr. F. It may be a delusion, but, with your permission, I'm about to test it. Mrs- B. I cannot allow any test to take place in this house. I must recall your last attempt. Candidly, it was most ludi- crous in some aspects, in others quite serious. You had every opportunity then, and just imagine a second edition of " What, ho, the man is mad !" Why, it would be quite ludicrous to Lord Marley to have him continually shouting, " What, ho^ the man is mad !" Mr. F. Yes, yes, I know ; but it's very important, and Ada's welfare — Ada's future — is at stake. Mrs. S. I'm sure, Mr. Forrest, I will grant anything that will tend towards Ada's welfare, but you tested it once, and were found wanting. I would not have a repetition of that scene for the world ! Mr. F. I have every reason to believe that Lord Marley is an impostor, and — Mrs. B. Bvery reason ? Mr. Forrest, I cannot entertain any- thing derogatory concerning Lord Marie}' unless it can be substantiated. " Every reason to believe " shows an element of doubt in the position 3'ou take. There is too much suspi- cion founded upon fancy — not fact. Bring me proof positive, and I would allow you to turn the house upside down, for that matter, to expose a rascal. Mr. F. As Miss Ada will be married to morrow, to save her from becoming the wife of an adventurer, I thought that, as you were her aunt, interested in her welfare, I could inter- est you ! Miss B. I'm sure I would grant you anything in reason, but you are evidently laboring under a delusion about Lord Marley. Why, Mr. Williamson, at Lord Marley' s request, cabled to Sir Harry Jenkins as to the identity of Lord Marley, and received reply which completely drove away what little mistrust your charge raised. Mr. F. But Mrs. Braddox, if you will allow me, I'm sure no harm can result from the test. I'll accept all responsibil- ities. Mrs. B. Now, Mr. Forrest, you accepted the last responsi- 72 bility, and what was the result ? A scene of confusion, and your utter discomfort. Much trouble may come from the test, lyord Marley may resent these constant, I must say, insults. Whatever proofs you have, bring them to Mr. Williamson. Mr. F But the wedding is to-morrow. The time, the op- portunitv is here, to-night. To-morrow may be too late. Ada may be the wife of an adventurer- Mrs. B. I'm sorry, but I cannot risk a scene. \^E}iter Col. Potter.] Mrs B. Ah ! Here's the Colonel ! Col. p. Good evening, Mrs. Braddox. Mrs. B. Good evening, Colonel. Col. P. What, Mr. Forrest! "What ho! The man is mad ! " Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Mr. Forrest, that scene was de- cidedly rough on you. Mistook you for a madman ! Ha ! Ha! Ha! "What ho! the man is mad!" You must have been exceedingly mad when you went out. Mr. F. Well, it wasn't very pleasant, Colonel. Col. P I should think not ! I must say, though, every time I think of it I have to laugh. Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Mrs. B. It was exceedingly comical to have Mr. Forrest mistaken for a madman. Col. p. Never did a general go into battle with more confi- dence, and never did a general Mr. F. Don't, Colonel, don't rub it in too hard. Mrs. Brad dox recalled that' scene, also, and besides, it's becoming a standing joke among my friends. They no more greet me as Edward, but when they get within hailing distance, sing out, " What ho, there ! What ho ! " Mrs. B. Spare him, Colonel, spare him ! But Mr. Forrest's cry is again, " Up, guards, and at them ! " Col. p. Oh, then, I'll let up. When the women commence, you become an object of sympathy, but it was a serio-comic affair ! Lord Marley was telling me that he really did believe you were mad, and when he returns home, it will be the great est and funniest story he will have to tell about his first visit to this country. Mr. F. Possibly, Colonel, possibly. Col- P. What ! Still doubting ? 73 MRvS. B. Yes, Colonel, still doubting, and thinks if I will allow him to put Lord Marley to some kind of a test, why Lord Marley will never have a chance to write that book — ha ! ha ! ha ! — or even repeat his " What ho" story. Coi^. P. My dear fellow, let us hear what you are going to do. You must be up and doing, or your friends will never let up that " What ho " cry. Mr. F. There is at my house a distinguished English de- tective. Mrs. B. An English detective ? Col. p. Ah — I see ! As they say, the plot thickens- Mrs- B. Pray go on, Mr Forrest. Mr. F. As Mrs. Braddox is already determined not to allow me a test to go on, it would be a waste, of time. Mrs. B. No ! no ! Mr. Forrest, go on — you said about a celebrated English detective ? Mr. F. I was all along suspicious about Lord Marley, and cabled to London, and received reply that Lord Marley was reported to have sailed on a trip around the world, and that a detective was about to start for this country in relation to the extradition of a forger, and while here he would try to identify him. He has arrived, and is at present at my house. Now, there will be a dinner here this evening, and Mr. Seymour and Edith will take advantage of your kind invitation and will bring the detective here also as one of your guests. If he can recognize him the fellow can be denounced ; if not, no harm will be done. Mrs. B. You sav Mr. Seymour will be here ? Mr. F. Yes. Mrs. B. But he and Lord Marley may quarrel ; besides he may not care to meet Ada Mr. F. I assure you there will not be the slightest danger of any trouble with Mr. Seymour. He is thoroughly recon- ciled to Ada's marriage, and bears no one ill will. Have I your permission, Mrs. Braddox ? Mrs. B. What think you, Colonel? Coiv. P. By all means. There can be no harm. Mrs. B. Well, then you have it, but be careful — there must be no mistake. Mr. F. If you would allow me, I would, after informing 74 the detective to come, like to come here and remain upstairs. I would be pleased, as thev say, to be in at the finish. Mrs. B. With pleasure. Mr. F. Good evening. Colonel — Mrs. Braddox. [Exit Mr. F.] Mrs. B. Dear me, what are we to expect next ! It seems that every one of us women are looked upon as to our wealth- producing power. L/Ove is made with the head, now-a-days — not with the heart. Col. p. Not all men look that way, Mrs Braddox, not all. Mrs. B. I must say, Colonel, that Ada has a good friend in Mr. Forrest. Coiv P. If Lord Marley developed into an impostor. Mrs. B. You mean that an impostor has developed in a lyord Marley. Coiy. P. Yes, that's it, and if he succeed in unmasking him, why he'll make not only himself, but Mr. Seymour happy. [Moves about, looking out doors.] No one arrived as yet. Mrs. B. You're the first gentleman. Colonel. Always on hand — never behind. Col. p. Probably I have called too early ? Mrs. B. Ah ! Colonel, you're welcome at all times ! Coiv- P. So, Miss Ada is to be married to-morrow ? Mrs. B. Yes; has there been much talk about the wedding? CoL. P- It's the talk of the town. The ladies have all come to the conclusion that Miss Ada is a most fortunate girl, and how proud her relatives must be ! Mrs. B. Yes, I suppose so, but if she had married Mr. Sey- mour I would be better pleased. Her home will be in this country. By the way, Colonel, have you seen Mr. Seymour ? Col.' P- I saw him yesterday. He seems to have recovered from the shock. He is a young man, you know, and youth bears its burdens lightly, but ah ! Mrs. Braddox, if it were I, I'm afraid I could not stand it. A body might be found float- ing in the placid waters of the North river- Mrs. B. Yours certainly is not an elastic nature ! Col. p. No— I think not. One love affair and disappoint- ment in that would crush all the sunshine in my nature. Mrs. B. Well, Colonel, you have my best wishes for your success if you ever have a love affair. It would be dreadful to Mrs, B. mean ? Col. P. Mrs. B. Col. P. Mrs. B. 75 have your corpse found in the placid waters of the North river. Anj'thing I could do to prevent such a catastrophe, I would do it Coiv- P. Oh ! 3'ou would make a sacrifice ! Mrs. B. Certainly — who wouldn't ? But what sacrifice, Colonel, would you expect me to make ? CoL- P. By sacrificing yourself Sacrificing myself ! Why, Colonel, what do you Sacrificing yourself by marrying me. Oh, Colonel ! Is it possible ! Is the sacrifice too great ? You have taken me at a disadvantage. I must either sacrifice myself or give you over to the placid waters of the North River ; is that it ? Col. p. Ah, Mrs. Braddox ! You are responsible for it. If there were no Mrs Braddox, there would never have been a love affair of my heart. Shall you make the sacrifice ? Mrs. B. Just to keep you from the North River, I'll make the sacrifice, Colonel. CoL- P- This is the happiest moment of my life ! I love at last and am beloved. Ah, Martha, if I had met 5-ou in my youth, I'm sure you would not be a Widow — if I could help it. I would have married you. Let me make a confession. I came here deliberately to propose marriage. I had a set speech, but didn't have a chance to fire it off. I'll deliver it now. " My dear Mrs. Braddox, I have known you for some 5^ears now, and though I always thought love and I would never commingle ; but to myjoylfind I w^as mistaken. It has, and you are mainly responsible. Ah, Mrs. Braddox, there are some men who love but once, and I'm one of that kind, and — \Enter Servant announcing L,ord MarlKY, Mr. and Mr s, Williamson.] Mrs. B. Colonel, reserve the rest for another time. Col. P. [Aside.] I began by loving her for her fortune ; I end by loving her for herself alone. Hang her fortune !] {Enter Guests^ Mrs. B. Well, you are not as prompt as usual, Mr. Will- iamson. 76 Mr. W. Don't blame me, blame my watch, [aside,] or my wife ! Ada. Pa is responsible. He would insist on having his afternoon sleep. Mrs. B. Oh, then I'll forgive him. Col. Potter, show I,ord Marley those new paintings upstairs. lyOKD M. I'm sure I would be delighted ! Col. P- Certainly. But shall you ladies miss us when we are gone ? Mrs. B. If you remain too long, we shall certainly be up after you. [Exit Coi,, P., Lord M. and Mr. W.] Mrs. B. I took the liberty, Harriet, to invite Mr. Seymour here this evening. Ada. What ! Mr. Seymour ? You really do not mean it, Aunt ? Mrs. B. Yes, but— Mrs. W. I regret, Martha, you did not tell us this before. We would never have come if we had known it. Ada. I do not .see how it is possible, under the circum- stances, that you could invite him. If he takes advantage of your invitation, I shall leave the house the moment he arrives. Mrs. B. I'll explain. S^Enter Mr. W.] Ada. Here is pa. Mrs. W. David, just think what Martha has been doing ! Mr. \V. Well, let me see. Oh, I guess she has been marry- ing the Colonel ! Mrs. B. Nonsense, David, nonsense ! Mrs- W. She has invited Mr. Seymour here this evening. Mr. W. Mr. Seymour ! Well, Martha is evidently fond of excitement. Mrs. B. Now, do let me explain ! Ada. Explain ! No explanation is necessary. You have not the slightest regard for my feelings — for Lord Marley 's feelings. You would place him in a position to be insulted. No ! I shall not stop here another moment. Come, ma, let us go ! Pa, tell Lord Marley I wish to see him at once. Mr. VV. Now, wait ! Mrs. S. Ada is unnecessarily excited. I sent Mr. Seymour 77 an invitation out of mere courtesy, just for old time's sake, be- lieving that he would not take advantageof the same, but I understand that he will be here with Edith. Ada. Then, as it is a certainty that he will be here, I shall go away at once. Pa, tell I^ord Marley I would like to see him. Mr. W. [Aside] If Mr. Seymour sees Ada they may be- come reconciled, and — and — there may be an elopement, and — and — 75^000 pounds may be saved. Oh, we are here now — let us stay. Mrs. B. Now, Ada, do listen to what I have to say ! Ada. No — I cannot — I cannot— I don't want to see him ! Will you, pa, tell Lord Marley ? Mrs. W. You have upset the dear child ! Mr. W. Now, don't get excited — Mr. Seymour will hardly come. Ada. I shall see Lord Marley myself ! [Moves towards the door.] Mrs. W. Ada, stop ! Ada. [Stopping] Well, ma ! Mrs. W. [Aside] You should not provoke your father. Remember, he has not settled on you the 75,000 pounds yet. Mrs. B. I understand there will not be the slightest chance of any trouble. Mr. Seymour is thoroughly reconciled to Ada's marriage, and I'm sure we all shall be the best of friends this evening. Mr. W. Of course, we' will ! Mr. Seymour always was a sensible fellow. Ada. Well, I shall do as pa says, though I would much prefer to be away. Mrs. W. I'm afraid, Martha, you spoiled our night's enjoy- ment. Mrs. B. Oh, I think not ! Mr. Seymour, I hear, has for- gotten and forgiven everything, and he, no doubt, will place Lord Marley and Ada at ease, and probably, before the night is over, you will be glad you came. {Enter Lord Marley.] Ada. I shall inform Lord Marley ; if he wishes to go, we shall retire. [Goes over and talks with him.] 78 Mrs. B I trust, Lord Marley, that my inviting Mr. Sey- mour here this evening will not be looked upon by you as any discourtesy. Lord M. Ah ! Mr. Seymour, the fellow that Ada. I assure you that aunt did not think he would take advantage of the invitation, or it would never have been sent. Mrs. B. He is thoroughly reconciled to Ada's marriage. Lord M. I am sure that his presence will not inconvenience me in the least, but as for Ada ! Ada. As long as his presence will not inconvenience you, why let him come. You see aunt is so kind-hearted that she lets her good nature dominate her judgment sometimes. Mrs. B. I am told you will find Mr. Seymour one of the most entertaining men in the world. He has quite forgotten his little trouble. Lord M, I'm sure that I have forgotten that little incident. [Aside.] Confound the fellow's impudence ! \E71ter Mr. Skymour, Mr. Graham a«^ Edith,] [Mr. Seymour introduces Mr. Graham.] Mr. VV. Mr. Seymour, how are you ! Mr. S. Ah, Mr. Williamson— How's the health? Mr. W. Excellent — and yours ? Mr. S. I never felt better in my life ! Mr. W. [Aside to Mr. S.] I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry that little affair took place up at the house. Mr. S. What affair ? Mr. W. Why, that affair — you know — between you and Ada. Mr. S. Really I had almost forgotten about it. Mr. W. Well, I always thought you and Ada would be married. Mr. S. I thought so, too. Mr. VV. Do you know, I would much prefer you as a brother-in-law ? Mr. S. Thanks, Mr. Williamson, but it 'is all over now — Ada is happy in her choice. Mr. W. If I were a young man and were in love, I would never say die until she was married. Then I would consider it was all over between us. 79 Mr. S. You believe what's worth having is worth fighting for ? [Aside] What is he driving at ? Mr. W. Yes. I remember when a young man, a friend of mine was in love. ^Vell, the young woman's mother deter- mined that she should marry another, and the young man was forbidden the house. It wasn't all over between them — ah, no, not much. She was worth having and was worth fighting for' and he managed to see her alone, pleaded with her, an elope- ment took place, a marriage, and she was forgiven by her parents. Now, I liked that young man more and more since that event. I would act that way myself Mr. S. [Aside ] He's hinting tor me to elope with Ada ! Mr. S. Mr. Williamson, all men are not alike. If there be not enough love in the woman for the man as to resent the forcing of a husband on her, then I would much prefer that she married the other Mr. S. [Goes over to Lord Marley.] Ah, I,ord Marley, I trust that little incident has been forgotten. Lord M. Ah — yes, quite ! Mr. S. But it was deucedly natural to act as I did, you know ! To lose such an amazing fine creature as Miss Will- iamson, is enough to make a man irresponsible for his actions. Lord M. Ah ! Mr. S. [To Ada.] Miss Ada, allow me to congratulate you. The more I think of it, I recognize that you were made to shine in a more charming circle than I could introduce you. Lord M. [Aside ] Is the fellow mocking me ? Ada. [Aside.] [I thought he would get over it !] I'm sure, Mr. Seymour, you have developed in a very short time into a consummate flatterer. Mr. S. It's but the ebulition of my feelings at seeing two natures —two hearts that were moulded for each other. [Aside.] There is no flattery in that ! Lord M. [Aside.] The fellow is deucedly friendly. There is something up ! Ada. I trust some day I may have a chance to reciprocate those kindly feelings. Mr. S. [Aside.] Yes— kindly feelings ! Mrs. W. [Coming over.] I beg to apologize, Mr. Seymour, for my harsh manner You see Ada fell in love with Lord Marley, and she didn't have the heart to tell vou. 8o Mr- S- Don't mention it, my dear Mrs. Williamson. No one more than I am pleased at the course affairs have taken. Mrs, W. [Aside ] My dear Mrs. Williamson ! He's a little too friendly. He means something.] Do you mean it ? Mr. S. Mean it ? Why, Ada was never cut out for a Mrs. Seymour ! As L^ady Marley she will find her true position. Mrs. W. Ah, thanks, Mr. Seymour. We shall always be friends. Mr. S. Yes, friends ! Mrs. W. [Aside ] I don't like his too friendly way. He never was so before, why should he be now ? [Mr. Seymour goes over to Mr. Graham and converses.] Lord M. Ada, isn't Mr. Seymour very friendly this even- ing ? Ada. Yes, somewhat. It seems strange ! Mr. S. [To Mr. Graham.] Do you recognize him ? Mr. G. No! Ed^th^ } [^^"^P"'"^-^ ^°- Mr. G. That is, not positively. There is a resemblance between him and one Smith, a notorious confidence man, but I haven't had occasion to come in contact with, professionally, for some time. I have several photographs in my pocket, and when the opportunity occurs I'll make comparisons I assure you, though, he is NOT Lord Marley. Edith. I shall engage Lord Marley in conversation. [Goes over to Lord Marley, Mrs. B., Col. P., Mr. Graham and Mr. Sevmour in one group.] Edith. What a happy couple you seem to be. Lord M. Ah, thanks, very much ! Ada. I could say the same of you and Mr. Seymour. Edith. But don't. I suppose. Lord Marlej^ you will sail soon ? Lord AL Oh, yes. My father. Earl Glenore, is very anx- ious to see my wife. [Converse in dumb show.] Mrs. B. Do you recognize him, Mr. Graham ? Mr. G. One moment. [Takes several photographs from pocket ; looks at Lord M., then at photograph ] Yes. Mr. S. Who is he ? Mr. G. One Peter Smith, a notorious confidence man. 8i Col. p. I^ef s throw him out of the window. Mrs. B. Colonel, do nothing rash— he might hurt you. We shall have dmner. You gentlemen can decide what is best to be done. {Enter servant ; announces dinner. ~\ Mrs. B. Come, I^ord Marley— Ada— to dinner. [Exit all.] {Enter Mr. Forrest.] Mr. F. I wonder what success they had This test vindi- cates me (by the way, from my poor success, I'm sadly in need of a vmdication), or relegates me to the domain of an ass. {Enter Charles.] Mr F. Well, what ^success? Is it a case of meeting the enemy and we are his, or meeting the enemy and he is ours ? Charles. All is lovely ! Mr F. Who is he?' What is he? Where did he come from ? Charles. Ah, his name is Peter ! Mr. F. Peter ! Peter ! Peter what ? Charles. Peter Smith. Mr. F. Greater Caesar !— Peter Smith ! What a fall there was, my countrymen— from Lord Marley to Peter Smith ' The blow to the Williamsons will be simply mortifying ! Charles. If his name had been Clarence Bradshaw, or some other name less plebeian than Pt.'er Smich, it would take half the sting out of it, but to find out that Ada was to marrj- a man ot such a patronymic will be simply crushing. {EntsrQoh. P, Mr. G., Mrs. F. and J^,T>iTn.'] Col. p. A1: ! Mr. Forrest, you are on hand for the grand finale Mr. F. [Looking at the top of his shoes] It looks that way ! Col. p. The points are rather sharp, and show great pene- trating power, and all for this occasion, I suppose ? Mr. F. Right you are. Colonel ! I trust I may have the pleasure of wearing down the points somewhat- 8a Mrs. B. Mr. Forrest, uo violence must be used. He must take his departure quietl5^ Mr. F. Seven dollars gone for naught ! Col. p. Oh, preserve them until you become a married man with several unmarried daughters, and then you may have a chance to bring them into requisition, and will have an oppor- tunity to wear down the points on some objectionable suitor. Mrs. B. Such advice, Col. Potter ! Edith. Col. Potter is always willing to extend to our sex every protection, even seven-dollar well-pointed shoes ! Mrs. B. Come, Edith, we shall join Ada. The gentlemen, I'm sure, will take care of his lordship. [Exit both.] Mr. F. Well, what's best to be done ? Charles. The same formula. I'll summon the household with " what ho" Expose the rascal, and that is about all we can do. In deference to the wishes of Mrs. Braddox those seven-dollar shoes cannot be brought into play. CoL. P. He comes ! [Enfer Lord Marley.] Charles. Ah, Lord Marley ! Lord M. All here ? I have been enjoying a quiet smoke. Charles. Allow me, Lord Marle3% to re-introduce to you an old friend. Lord M. [Aside.] That fellow here ! Charles Mr. Forrest is like myself; he has nothing but re- grets at his mistake. Lord M. I'm sure it was natural under the circumstances. When I return home, it will be a good story to tell, I'm sure. Mr. F. [Aside] The devil it will. Col. P. [Aside.] He's a good one ! Mr. F. Ah, Lord Marley, it was a deucedly awkward mis- take I made at that time, wasn't it ? Lord M. [Aside. Something is up !] Ah, yes, Mr. Forrest ! Charles. But he will not make that mistake again, will you, Edward ? Mr. F. Not much ! Col. p. [Aside] Give him a broadside, Mr. Seymour. Charles. [Goes over, slaps Lord M. on the back.] Don't you think so, too, Peter ? 83 Lord M. Sir ! What's the meaning of this ? Are you addressing me ? Charles. You are the only Peter in the house. Lord M. Such insolence ! Charles. Come, come, Peter, your race is run ! You're on the home stretch. Let your exit be in keeping with the dignity of your assumed title. Lord M. 'Pon my word, is it a joke, or have I fallen among madmen ? Charles. Peter — Peter — Peter Smith, it's no joke. Lord M. I shall call for assistauce. [Moves towards the door. Charles, Mr. F. and Col. P. prevent his exit] Charles. Oh, no, I cannot allow that ! At present you are our guest. Allow me ! [Calls] What ho ! what ho ! help ! help! yEnter all on a run.^ Mrs. W. Who calls ? What's the trouble ? Charles. I. It's the influence of Lord Marley's example ! Lord M. I must retire at once. The man is surely mad ! Charles. [Stopping him.] Not yet, Peter ! Ada. Mr. Seymour, are you losing your senses ? Charles. 1 11 explain. Ada. You shall do nothing of the kind. I can now see the object of your coming here was only to insult Lord Marley, and you, aunt, have been responsible for it. It's just what I expected. Come, ma, pa, let us go ! Mrs. W. Is it possible, Martha, you stand here and allow this outrage ? Are you among the plotters against your own flesh and blood ? Mrs. B. Mr. Seymour must have some justification for his action. Charles. The justification is — that man is an impostor ! Ada. It's false, and you know it ! We are not so stupid as not to comprehend your purpose. And this is your revenge ? Oh, what manliness to come here and insult Lord Marley and me before the guests ! Col. p. Miss Ada, you do Mr. Seymour injustice. Ada. And you, too. Col. Potter, sink to the level of Mr. Seymour ! 84 Mr. W. I'll not allow 1113' daughter to be insulted ! Charles. Mr. Forrest's original assertion is true. He has made an investigation, and his story was substantiated. Ada. It is not ! Oh, tell us — tell me, L^ord Marley, that it is untrue ! Lord M. I assure you it is false. It's an awkward mistake. Ada. I knew it ? Now, Mr. Seymour, are you satisfied ? Charles. Mr. Williamson, this man has assumed the title of the real Lord Marley, and as your daughter is to be married to morrow, we have taken this, our first opportunity, to expose him. We can prove everything. Ada. [Excitedly.] Well, go ahead — go ahead. Why don't you do it ? Mrs. B. Ada, allow Mr Si.vmour to proceed. Ada. Oh, I'll allow him. Mr Forre.st tried the same thing once, and j^ou know the resalt. I hope you will treat Mr. Seymour as Ma treated Mr. Forrest ! Charles. Mr. Forrest hai taken upon himself to expose this rascal, and has with mm a gentleman whose business it is to make the acquaintance of his kind. Mr. F. Mr. Graham, doy n not recognize an old acquaint- ance ? Mr. G. Ah, Peter Smith, have we not met before ? Lord M. Sir, you have the advantage of me ! Mr. G. I am glad that you recognize that I have. Lord M. 'Pou honor, another madman ! Ada Oh, your last experience, Mr. Forrest, didn't have much efiect, did it ? Mrs. W. This is the second time, sir, that you have inter- fered in our family afi^airs. Mr. F. I assure you with the best intent. Lord M. Come, Ada, let us go ! .'\da. Yes, and we shall never put our feet inside of this house again. Mrs. W. We sb.all leave at once ! This was the last thing I expected from you, Martha ! [Lord Marley and Ada move towards the door.] Mr. G. [Preventing his exit.] Not so fast, Peter. You have gone far enough — give the game up ! Ada. Who is this man ? 8s Lord M. I'm sure I don't know. Mr. G. Miss, I am an English detective, and this man is a well known English confidence man. He is well acquainted with jail life. Ada. It is not so ! He is noble and true. You have slan dered a noble gentleman ! Oh, I can see it all ! Mr. Seymour is using you as an instrument of his revenge. Come, I^ord Marley. [About to retire with Lord M] Charles Let us have the photograph, Mr. Graham. [Mr. G hands photograph.] If you will but look at this photograph and at Peter Smith, you will find they are identical. [Hands it ] Ada. [Taking it ] There ! [Throws it on the floor.] There's my judgment — this my faith in Lord Marley. [Throws arms about him.] Mr. W. [Aside ] My 75,000 pounds looks to be all right ! I Goes over, picks up photograph. Mrs. W. goes over also. Both look at the photograph and at Lord M.] Mrs. W. Oh, mercy, what is this? Mr. W. [Reads.] Peter Smith, alias Sir William Smith, alias Captain Sterling, alias Sir Charles Manning. Notorious confidence man. Served several terms in jail. Mrs. W. Oh, this is cruel ! cruel ! cruel ! Ada. [Hysterically.] But is is not true, ma ! It cannot be. I cannot believe it — 1 will not. It's a vile conspiracy. It's false — false ! It's Mr. Seymour's — Mr. Forrest's revenge — and — and you, ma, believe them ! Oh ! tell me, Lord Marley, that it is not true ! Ob, ma, ma ! [Falls fainting in Lord M 's arms ] Mrs. W. [Running over] Mv child ! My child ! Mr. S. [Aside to L- M] You rascal ! Mr. F. [Aside] Oh, if I could only use those seven dollar shoes on him ! Ada. [Recovering] Have they gone ? Mrs. B. Bear up, my dear child, under this affliction. Ada. Oh, Lord Marley. did they harm you ? Mr. S. [Grabbing him] You scoundrel, admit your ras cality ! Ada. No ! no ! you shall not harm him ! Come ! come ! come away ! [Pulls him by the arm ] Mrs. W. My child, be calm ! be calm ! Come, dear, this man has deceived us all ! 86 Ada. So you, too, are trying to steal Lord Marley from me. You, pa, aunt — all— all — all against me ! But you shall not ! Oh, you have broken my heart ! [Faints.] Mrs. W. Oh, this cruel blow will unsettle her reason ! Mrs. B. Be calm, Ada, this is for the best. Mr, \V. You rascal, if you don't end this suspense I'll — [Advances.] Mrs. B. Mr. Williamson, pray no violence ! Mr. W. Let him answer then at once ! Lord M. [Aside — The game is up.] Am I to have your protection, then ? Mrs. B. You shall — no harm shall befall you here. Lord M. Ah, yes, it's true, but don't blame me. I could not help it, I'm sure. Don't think harshly of me ; be charit- able. I was led into temptation and fell. Ada. Then it is true ! Oh ma ! Mrs. W. Arrest him ! Arrest him ! Call an officer ! Ada. Yes ! Yes — arrest him ! Mr. G. On what charge, madam ? Mrs. W. He is an impostor— a villain ! Mr. G. Has he robbed you of anything ? Mrs. W. He has broken my dear girl's heart ! M. VV. [Aside] He borrowed 5^2,000 fro m me, last week. I'll keep it quiet ! Mr. S. Nothing can be done. He has violated no law — committed no crime ! Mrs, W. Oh, you villain, why did you choose my darling as a victim ? Lord M. I'll explain ! I am a confidence man, and have always sought the easiest way to obtain a living. For some time past my success in the old country was poor. My thoughts turned towards this country, and I was led to believe it was the easiest thing in the world to succeed in the role I assumed, and I have seen nothing to change that opinion yet. I would be successful but for that deucedly unfortunate circumstance of Mr. Forrest being in England. His story was true ; Lord Marley dia sail on a trip around the world, and I took advan- tage of it. The temptation was so great, and the chances ot success so certain, that I could not resist. Don't blame me — blame yourselves ! Mr, VV [Aside] Those 75,000 pounds are all right ! 87 Miss R. [Aside to Miss S.] I thought so ! Miss S. Just as I expected ! Miss R. I had an idea all along that there was something wrong. Miss S. When you come to think of it, isn't he common looking ? Miss R. I should say so ! Miss S. I'm glad I am not Ada. Miss R. I wouldn't be her for the world ! Miss S. It will be the talk of the town ! Charles. Well, it's a candid story, and no doubt true. Mr W. Come to think of it, we were the tempters. Mrs. W. Mr. Forrest, I thank you for your disinterested- ness in Ada's behalf. Mr. W. How can I ever repay you for this great service to our family ? [Aside.] It's a lucky thing for my 75,000 pounds that there was a Mr. Forrest in the world ! What a racket the fellow would have have ! Mrs. W. I trust, Mr. Seymour, you will forgive us. Ada was fascinated by that fellow, but her heart, I'm sure, always belonged to you. Ada. Mr. Seymour, pray forgive me. Charles. Miss Ada, I do forgive you. You would indeed be a rare woman who could or would act diflferently under the circumstances, but, dear friends, amid all this glitter of rank, this fascination for title, which seems to turn people's heads, and ' ' draw out their very soul and senses, leaving them mere automatons," to be swayed by him who is possessed of the same, we find some in whom reason predominates — who recog- nize that moral and intellectual worth count for something — rank, position, title for nothing, when standing alone. Such a one I have found in Miss Edith, my afl&cianced wile. Ada. [Startled] Oh, ma, what will become of me ? Mrs. W. [Aside] My child, bear up ! Col. p. Amid all these joys, all these sorrows, I have found one who is willing to smooth my path to the grave — my angel, Mrs. Braddox. Mrs. B. Oh, Colonel Potter ! 88 Charles. Ah, dear friends, many lives are spent In frivolous thought and vain intent. Edith. To struggle for position may be worldly wise, Not honorable though, if therein honor dies. Mrs. B. Position, rank and honor are not things apart, If honorably gained by an honest heart. Col. p. The world of fashion is our thought in the main, And millions struggle to its inner circle attain. Lord M. The world is all vanity, all fashion, all pride, Upon which to affluence I thought to ride. But [Mr. S. here takes him by the arm, points to the door. They move slowly towards door.] Charles. fPointing] By Jove ! Every inch a lord ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! [END.] C 32 89 .-.-,/ "o^-^^-/ ^^Z^-',/. %'*»-- /\. °'^-" y% \w° /"\ °'^'' .'^'% -» O 0^ .. i-i^^ . /\ • ■' \,^* • 4q J.OvS j,0 v- . > ^ ^/ <^ '^<^ • ,^^ "^. 3v. -^aV o> HECKMAN 1X1 BINDERY INC. P| ^^ DEC 88 .<^^ .0'