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 ^^ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, | 
 
 
 Chap. V^'^ \ 5 r^ 
 
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 j UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 
 
 'to 
 
HINTS 
 
 FOR 
 
 THE IiaFROVXliaiII7T 
 
 OF 
 
 EARLY EDUCATION 
 
 NURSERY DISCIPLINE. 
 
 y^'^o^ 
 
 ao. \\ 
 
 Last American, from the Fifth London Edition. 
 
 SAZ.El¥r. 
 
 JAMES R. BUFFUM. 
 
 1826. 
 
n o \ 
 
 '^ I think I may sap, that, of aU the men ive meet with, 
 nine parts of ten are what they are, good or evil, useful 
 or not, by their education.'^ Locke. 
 
 "To neglect beginnings is the fundamental error into 
 which most parents fall.'^ 
 
 "Parents wonder to taste the streams bitter, tvhen they 
 themselves have poisoned the fountain. Locke. 
 
 PRINTED BY J. D. GUSHING^ 
 
 jt^ssex St. Salem. 
 
 m 
 
 
 k-J 
 
 
 iJi 
 
PREFACE TO THIS EDITION. 
 
 These "Hints," which were originally pre- 
 pared by a lady in England, have passed through 
 five editions in that country, and have been, 
 more than once, republished in ours. They are 
 now offered to the American public, in a style 
 of execution much more worthy of their intrin- 
 sic merit than any in which they have hitherto 
 appeared amongst us. This edition has been 
 carefully revised by the last London copy of the 
 work ; and no alterations have been made, v.hich, 
 as is believed, v/ould not receive the approba- 
 tion of the Author. It is not here intended, 
 for it is not thought to be necessary, to offer 
 any elaborate encomium of the treatise itself. 
 If, hovv^ever, it should be asked, what are its pe- 
 culiar claims to notice, it may be rephed, that 
 it is not embarrassed by a blind adherence to 
 any pre-conceived and artificial system of edu- 
 cation ; — that it is not rendered useless to the 
 great mass of readers by over-refined or para- 
 doxical speculation ; — that its topics are well 
 chosen 5 — that its style is very simple and plain ;-- ^ 
 
4 PREFACE TO THIS EDITION'. 
 
 that, In a word, it is distinguished by its practi- 
 col character, and by its adaptation to the real 
 objects of early education. You can scarcely 
 read a page or a paragraph, that you do not 
 perceive the results of a wise and judicious 
 mother's experience, and that they are results 
 which a wise and judicious mother would be 
 glad to profit by. It is true, that in consequence 
 of the narrow limits to which the author has 
 confined herself, that some important subjects 
 are but imperfectly treated. But her remarks, 
 as far as they extend, even with respect to 
 these, are just and true and useful. This edi- 
 tion is sent abroad under the deep conviction 
 that famihes are the first schools in the great 
 discipline of hfe, — that lessons are to be learnt 
 there w^hich can be learnt no where else, — and 
 that parents, and especially mothers, are incom- 
 parably the best and most effective instructers. 
 Children, in the providence of God, are commit- 
 ted to them, at that period of life, when the mind 
 is open to those early impressions which ordina- 
 rily sink deepest and last longest, and which, in 
 most cases, constitute the elements of the future 
 character. Mothers, moreover, are naturally 
 the objects of a peculiar preference and love 
 Avhich give to their counsels and example a most 
 persuasive influence. It is, yet further, their es- 
 pecial duty and privilege to preside habitually 
 f^vev that home which is all the v/orld to a child x 
 
PREFACE TO THIS EDITION, O 
 
 and they are enabled, in consequence, to watch 
 over that most important, but too often neglected 
 part of education, which is continually going on, 
 and is operating very powerfully in early life, 
 namely — incidental insti'uction — the instruction 
 of current events, and of the circumstances in 
 which we are placed. Let then mothers reflect 
 that their responsibihty is commensurate with the 
 peculiar opportunities which they enjoy of influ- 
 encing the minds of their children. All that is 
 sound and useful in the science and art of early 
 education, deserves their peculiar attention. And 
 if the following "Hints" should be found useful 
 to any single mother, the humble labours of the 
 editor in superintending this republication of 
 them will be fully rewarded. 
 
 .J. B. 
 
 ^ALEM, JANUARY, ^ '""^. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 Introduction 7 
 
 General Principles of Education - - - - 13 
 
 Truth and Sincerity - - - . 1'^ 
 
 Authority and Obedience 27 
 
 Rewards and Punishments 39 
 
 Temper 49 
 
 Justice -------- 55 
 
 Harmony, Generosity, &c. - - - - - 58 
 
 Tearfulness and Fortitude . - - - 67 
 
 Independence -....- ^■SG 
 
 Industry, Perseverance and Attention - - 92 
 
 Vanity and Affectation - - - - - 106 
 
 Delicacy -.-.-. . m 
 
 Manners and Order - - - - - -116 
 
 Reli'^ious Instruciion . - - . - 123 
 
 Religious Habits - - -- - -137 
 
 Conclusion - - - - - - 154 
 
 Appendix -- - ' - - " 1l5'7 
 
INTRODUCTION 
 
 It is with considerable diffidence, that the 
 Writer offers to the attention of Mothers, and 
 those engaged in the care and instruction of 
 young children, the following Remarks ; though 
 she hopes that their being the simple result of 
 experience will compensate for their im.per- 
 fections. 
 
 The origion of this little w^ork was as follows : 
 The Author having formed a few rules, as di- 
 rections for her nurse-maid, in the management 
 of her first child, committed them to paper, that 
 they might be more clearly understood and re- 
 membered ; and as she found these written 
 rules beneficial in her own nursery, she conceiv^- 
 ed they might prove useful to others. Whilst 
 attempting, however, to improve and enlarge 
 them, she was persuaded they touched upon so 
 
8 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 many important points : tliey were so closely 
 interwoven with the first principles of education: 
 that they could not, with propriety, be addressed 
 to those whose duly is more to obey than to 
 rule : and that they were most hkely to be use- 
 ful, as an assistance to a mother, in the exer- 
 cise of her own authority ; in training those 
 who are to act under her ; and in establishing 
 the discipline of a nursery. Nor was it consid- 
 ered incompatible with such an oliject to retain 
 the one chapter which treats exclusively of " the 
 motives that should influence a nurse ;" but 
 this, being in some measure unconnected with 
 the rest of the work, is placed in the Appendix. 
 Those "are the golden hours of childhood," 
 which are spent in the society of a good mother; 
 and it is evident, that a mother cannot do full 
 justice to her family, unless a considerable por- 
 tion of her time be devoted to it. But, in the 
 various engagements and duties of life, her chil- 
 dren cannot be her exclusive object ; and, as 
 an injurious influence, though but casually ex- 
 erted, may counteract the effects of continued 
 care ; it Is of no small importance that those, to 
 
INTRODUCTION. 9 
 
 whom she con^des them, luhatever be their of- 
 fice, should be fitted, as far as they are capable 
 of it, to supply her place during her absence. 
 They should therefore be chosen with caution 
 and discretion, instructed in that part of educa- 
 tion which devolves upon them, and their de- 
 fects, as far as possible, remedied. 
 
 Good education must be the result of one 
 consistent and connected system ; and both the 
 nursery and school-room will become scenes of 
 insubordination or sources of disappointment, if 
 authority be opposed to authority, and influence 
 counteract influence. A judicious mother will, 
 therefore, keep the reins in her own hands; she 
 will be the only source of power ; and her as- 
 sistants should exercise authority, whether more 
 or less, simply as derived from her, and in sub- 
 jection to her. If, at any time, they assume a 
 power which does not belong to them ; if they 
 take more than is given ; they outstep the 
 bounds of duty, and, in that proportion diminish 
 their value to the parent, and their usefulness to 
 the children. On the other hand, an assistant 
 ?hould receive the unvarying support and sanc= 
 
W INTRODUCTION'. 
 
 tion of a mother, whilst acting within the 
 prescribed Hinits and exercising that pordon 
 of authority, which has been confided to her. 
 To lay down these limits — to determine what- 
 should be this portion, requires an exercise of 
 discretion on tlie part of the mother. It must 
 depend upon the situation and character of those 
 to whom she entrusts her children, and upon 
 her own individual circumstances. 
 
 The principles touched upon in the following 
 Remarks may be apphed to education in gen- 
 eral ; although they are brought forward with a 
 more particular reference to the earlier periods 
 of childhood. It is probable that education may 
 be begun sooner than is generally supposed. 
 The sympathies, even of infants, are quick, and 
 powerfully affected by the manner, looks, and 
 tones of voice, of those about them. Something 
 therefore may, undoubtedly, be done towards in- 
 fluencing the mind in the first two or three years 
 of infancy ; but this will be effected more by 
 avoiding what is hurtful, as irritation or alarm, 
 than by aiming at premature excellence. The 
 minds of children, as their bodies, are not to be 
 
INTRODUCTION. 11 
 
 forced. We are to follow the leadings of na- 
 ture — " to go her pace" — to be ever watchful, 
 diligent, and alert, to make the best use of the 
 opportunities and advantages which she throws 
 m our way : for, it is to be remembered, that 
 nature may be cramped and forced, rather than 
 corrected and improved : and that, in every 
 doubtful case, it is wise to incline to the lenient, 
 rather than to the severe side of the question ; 
 because an excess of freedom is safer than too 
 much restraint. 
 
HINTS, &c. 
 
 GENERAL PRINCIPLES OF 
 EDUCATION. 
 
 Success in Education depends, 
 
 First, — More on Prevention than Cure ; 
 more on securing our children from injury, 
 than on forcing upon them what is right. If 
 Ave wish, for instance, to render a child coura- 
 geous, we shall effect it, not so much by urging 
 and compelling him to feats of hardihood, as by 
 guarding him from all impressions of terror, or 
 from witnessing a weak and cowardly spirit in 
 others. 
 
 Secondly, — On Example, rather than on 
 Precept and Advice. 
 
 As the bodies of children are imperceptibly 
 
 2 
 
14 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 
 
 affected by the air they breathe, so are their 
 minds by the moral atmosphere which surrounds 
 them ; that is, the tone of character and gen- 
 eral influence of those with whom they hve. 
 
 Thirdly, — On forming Habits, rather than 
 on inculcating Rules. 
 
 It is little to tell a child what to do ; we 
 must shew him how to do it, and see that it is 
 done. It is nothing to enact laws, if we do not 
 take care that they are put into practice, and 
 adopted as habits. This is the chief business 
 of education, and the most neglected ; for it is 
 more easy to command, than to teach and en- 
 force. For example ; a child will never know 
 how to write by a set of rules however com- 
 plete : the pen must be put mto his hand, and 
 the power acquired by repeated efforts and 
 contijiued practice. 
 
 Fourthly, — On regulating our Conduct, with 
 reference to the Formation of the Character 
 
OF EDUCATION. 15 
 
 when matured, rather than hy confimng our 
 Views to the Immediate Effect of our Labour. 
 
 Premature acquirements, premature quick- 
 ness of mind, premature feeling, and even pre- 
 mature propriety of conduct, are not often the 
 evidences of real strength of character, and are 
 rarely followed by corresponding fruits in fu- 
 ture hfe. 
 
 Lastly, — On bearing in mind a just sense of 
 the comparative Importance of the Objects at 
 which we aim. 
 
 As in the general conduct of life, it is the 
 part of wisdom to sacrifice the less to the great- 
 -er good ; so is this eminently the case in the 
 subject before us. Now the primary, the es- 
 sential object of education is this, — to form in 
 children a religious habit of mind, founded on 
 the divine principles of Christianity, and leading 
 to the habitual exercise of practical virtue. 
 To this, all other attainments are vv'holly subor- 
 dinate. 
 
 These points, though frequently referred to in 
 the following Observations, are thus stated sep- 
 
16 PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION. 
 
 arately, that they may the more easily be kept 
 in view, as fundamental principles of univer- 
 sal application, in executing the particular di- 
 rections that follow. 
 
TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 17 
 
 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 
 
 Nothing, perhaps, is more beautiful, or 
 more rare, than a character in which is no 
 guile : Guile insinuates itself into our hearts 
 and conduct to a degree of which we are little 
 aware. JNIany who would be shocked at an 
 actual breach of truth, are, notwithstanding, far 
 from sincere in manner or conversation. The 
 mode in which they speak of others, when ab- 
 sent, is wholly inconsistent with their profes- 
 sions to them, when present. They will relate 
 a fact, not falsely, but leaning to that side which 
 tells best for themselves ; they represent their 
 own actions in the fairest colours ; they have an 
 excuse ever ready for themselves, and, too of- 
 ten, at the expense of others. Such conduct, 
 if not coming under the character of direct false- 
 hood, is certainly a species of deceit, to be se- 
 verely condemned, and strictly guarded against, 
 not only in ourselves, but in our children : for 
 we shall find them early prone to art, and quick 
 2* 
 
iS TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 
 
 in imbibing it from others. It is not enougli. 
 therefore, to speak the truth, our whole 
 behaviour to them should be sincere, upright, 
 fair, and without artifice ; and it is experience 
 alone that can prove the excellent effects that 
 w:ill result from such a course of conduct. Let 
 all who are engaged in the care of children con- 
 sider It a duty of primary, of essential impor- 
 tance, never to deceive them, never to employ 
 cumiing to gain their ends, or to spare present 
 trouble. Let them not, for instance, to prevent 
 a fit of crying, excite expectation of a pleasure 
 which they are not certain can be procured ; 
 or assure a child that the medicine he must 
 take Is nice, when they know to the contrary. 
 If a question be asked them, which they are 
 unwilling or unable to answer, let them freely 
 confess it, and beware of assuming power or 
 knowledge which they do not possess ; for all 
 artifice Is not only sinful, but is generally de- 
 tected, even by children ; and we shall expe- 
 rience the truth of the old proverb, " a cun- 
 ning trick helps but once, and hinders ever 
 after." No one who Is not experimentally ac- 
 
TRUTH AND SINCERITY. ID 
 
 quainted with children, would conceive how 
 clearly they distinguish between truth and ar- 
 tifice ; or how readily they adopt these equiv-Q- 
 cal expedients in their own behalf, which, they 
 perceive, are practised against them. 
 
 Great caution is required in making promises, 
 and in threatening punishment ; but we must be 
 rigid in the performance of the one, and in the 
 infliction of the other. If, for example, we as- 
 sure a child unconditionally, that, after his les- 
 sons, he shall have a top or a ball, no subsequent 
 ill behaviour on his part should induce us to 
 deprive him of it. Naughty or good, the top 
 must be his ; and, if it be necessary to punish 
 him, we must do it in some other way than by 
 breach of engagement. For our word, once 
 passed, must not be broken* 
 
 We should labour to excite in children a de- 
 testation of all that is mean, cunning, or false ; 
 to inspire them with a spirit of openness, hon- 
 our, and perfect honesty ; making them feel 
 how noble it is, not merely to speak the truth, 
 but to speak the simple unakered truth, whether 
 it tell for or against themselves ; but this we 
 
^0 tRUTH AND SINCERITY. 
 
 cannot effect, unless our example uniformly 
 concur with our instructions. We should teach 
 them not only to confess their faults, but to 
 confess them freely, and entirely, without pre- 
 facing them by excuses, or endeavouring to 
 lessen their own offence, by laying blame upon 
 another. When referring to others their mutu- 
 al complaints and disputes, they should be 
 warned to relate the case honourably and fair- 
 ly ; to state both sides of the question — to be 
 wiUing to accuse themselves as well as their 
 companions. In these points even conscien- 
 tious children, who dread a falsehood, are ex- 
 tremely prone to equivocate, and to keep back, 
 at least, part of the truth. The habit of idle 
 gossipping, of seeking and dispensing amuse- 
 ment, by hearing and repeating the affairs of 
 others, is one great source of misrepresentation, 
 and not unfrequently even of direct falsehood. 
 The dawnings of such a habit are to be check- 
 ed, the meanness of tale-bearing and detraction 
 must be strongly impressed upon the mind in 
 early life, and children reminded that not only 
 duty but a sense of honour should lead us to 
 
TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 21 
 
 ypeak of others in absence as we would do in 
 their presence. 
 
 The confusion and undesigned inaccuracy, 
 90 often to be observed in conversation, espe- 
 cially in that of uneducated persons, proves 
 that " truth needs to be cultivated as a talent 
 as well as a virtue," children require not only 
 to be told to speak the truth, but taught how 
 to do it. To this end, it will be highly benefi- 
 cial to accustom them gradually and by con* 
 tinued practice, to give an accurate account of 
 what they have read or seen, and to relate cor- 
 rectly circumstances in which they have them- 
 selves been engaged ; for this perspicuity and 
 precision are commonly the result not only of 
 good principle but of intellectual cultivation. 
 Dr. Johnson observes, " Nothing but experi- 
 ence can evince the frequency of false informa- 
 tion ; — some men relate what they think as what 
 they know ; some men of confused memories 
 and habitual inaccuracy ascribe to one man what 
 belongs to another, and some talk on without 
 thought or care. Accustom your children, there- 
 fore, to a strict attention to truth, even in the 
 
22 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 
 
 most minute particulars ; if a thing happened 
 at one window, and they, when relating it, say- 
 that it happened at another, do not let it pass, 
 but instantly check them ; you do not know 
 where deviation from truth will end. It is 
 
 MORE FROM CARELESSNESS ABOUT TRUTH THAN 
 FROM INTENTIONAL LYING, THAT THERE IS SO 
 MUCH FALSEHOOD IN THE WORLD."* 
 
 On no account whatever let any thing he said 
 or done in the nursery that Mamma is not to be 
 told. 
 
 In case of any unpleasant occurrence, it is 
 the duty of a nurse to take the earliest opportu- 
 nity of informing her mistress ; and to do this, 
 when she can with propriety, in the presence of 
 the children. She is ever to enforce the same 
 habit among them, encouraging them, if they 
 have met with an accident, or committed a 
 fault, at once, (for in these cases, delays are 
 dangerous,) to go to their mother, and freely to 
 confess it to her. 
 
 * See Bosweli's Life oUchr.ooa, oct. vol. iii. pp. 2iJ), 250, 
 
TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 23 
 
 It is desirable, as far as possible, to manifest 
 confidence in the honour and veracity of chil- 
 dren ; for we should wish deceit and falsehood 
 to be considered among them as offences of 
 which we do not even suppose them capable : 
 to accuse a child falsely, breaks his spirit, and 
 lowers his sense of honour. If we have, at any 
 time, reason to suspect a child of telling a false- 
 hood, or of concealing the truth, great caution 
 is necessary in betraying that suspicion. We 
 should endeavour to ascertain the fact by our 
 own observation, or the evidence of others, 
 rather than by the common expedient of ques- 
 tioning the child himself, or strongly urging him 
 to confession ; for, in so doing, we shall often 
 lead him, if he be guilty, to repeat the false- 
 hood ; or, if innocent and timid, to plead guilty 
 to a fault which he has not committed. Be- 
 sides, no small care is necessary that we do not 
 bring children into temptation, or put too much 
 to the proof their still weak and unformed prin- 
 ciples. There are many suspicious cases, the 
 truth of which being buried in the breast of a 
 child, cannot be discovered ; and these it is 
 
24 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 
 
 .V 
 
 ^ generally wiser to leave unnoticed ; at the same 
 ii| time, the more vigilantly observing the offender, 
 and treating him with the greater strictness up- 
 on those occasions in which the truth can be 
 ascertained by positive evidence. For exam- 
 ple ; v/ere a child to assure me that he had so 
 many times read over his lesson to himself, and 
 I had reason to doubt the fact, I would let it 
 pass in silence, dreading the effects of ill-placed 
 suspicion, and knowing that, if he were guilty 
 and should choose to deny it, I had no means 
 by which to convict him. On the other hand, 
 if a child tell a nurse that his mother has desir- 
 ed she should give him fruit, or a cake, and she 
 suspect he is deceiving her, let her say nothing 
 to him at the time, but apply, without his know- 
 ledge, to the mother ; should her suspicions be 
 confirmed, the child is convicted, and the op- 
 portunity is at once afforded for reproving and 
 correcting him with decision. 
 
 If we have grounds for supposing a child 
 guilty of some common offence, although, as 
 lias before been remarked with regard to false- 
 hood, it is better to ascertain the truth by evi- 
 
TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 25 
 
 (lence, rather than by the forced confession of 
 the suspected party : yet, sometimes it may be 
 necessary to question the child himself. This 
 must be done with great caution, not with the 
 vehemence and hurry so commonly employed 
 on such occasions ; but with calmness and af- 
 fection. We should forbid him to answer in 
 haste, or without consideration ; reminding him 
 of the extreme importance and happy conse- 
 quences of truth : of our tenderness towards 
 him, and willingness to forgive, if he freely 
 confess his fault, and show himself upright and 
 honourable in his conduct ; for truth being the 
 corner-stone of practical goodness, we nmst be 
 ready, when necessary, to sacrilice to it less 
 important points ; and, for the sake of this lead- 
 ing objeat, to pass over many smaller offences. 
 I cannot close the subject before us without 
 a warning against a severe, repulsive, disheart- 
 ening, or satirical system, in the management 
 of children. Nothing is so Hkely to produce in 
 them, especially in those of timid dispositions, 
 reserve, pusillanimity, and duphcity of charac- 
 ter. On the other hand, good discipline will 
 3 
 
26 TRUTH AND SINCERITY. 
 
 greatly promote habits of integrity and open- 
 ness. But it is to be remembered, that the 
 hest discipline is always combined with free- 
 dom, mildness, sympathy, and affection. 
 
AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 27 
 
 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 
 
 All who are engaged in bringing up chil- 
 dren must, necessarily, possess a certain share 
 of authority or power over them. This power, 
 being the chief instrument in education, it is to 
 the injudicious use which is made of it, that 
 many of the prevalent defects among children 
 are to be ascribed. On the one hand, we may 
 observe self-indulgence, insubordination, and 
 disobedience : on the other, a broken and de- 
 pressed spirit, one of the most serious and least 
 curable evils which ill-management, on the part 
 of those who govern, can occasion. The for- 
 mer, arising from a weak, indecisive, and irreg- 
 ular exercise of authority ; the latter, from 
 coldness and severity. 
 
 It is our business to steer as clear as possi- 
 ble between these opposite evils — bearing in 
 mind that it is essential to the welfare of chil- 
 dren to know how to obey, to submit their wills, 
 and to bear a denial ; while at the same time, 
 
28 AUTHORITY AND OfeEDtENCEJ. 
 
 their minds should be left free and vigorous, 
 open to every innocent enjoyment, and unfet- 
 tered by the thraldom of fear. We shall best 
 unite these important advantages by an authori- 
 ty, firm but affectionate, equally free from 
 peevishness or ill temper, and an excess of in- 
 dulgence, regular and consistent, never unne- 
 cessarily called into action, but, always, with 
 effect ; exercised with a simple view to the 
 good of those under our care, according to the 
 dictates of judgment, and from the principle of 
 love ; for the reproofs, corrections, and re- 
 straints, which are necessarily imposed upon 
 children, should spring from love, as well as 
 the encouragements and indulgencies which we 
 bestow upon them : 
 
 " Such authority, in shew, 
 
 When most severe, and must 'ring all its force. 
 
 Is but the graver countenance of love ; 
 
 Whose favour, like the clouds of spring, may low'r. 
 
 And utter, now and then, an awful voice. 
 
 But has a blessing in its darkest frown, 
 
 Threat'ning, at once, and nourishing the plant.'-* 
 
AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 29 
 
 Authority thus guarded, combining in right 
 proportion, decision and mildness, will produce 
 in the subjects of it, an invaluable union of hap- 
 py freedom and ready obedience. 
 
 Decision of character is essential to success 
 in the business of education. '' Weakness in 
 every form tempts arrogance : when a firm de- 
 cisive spirit is recognised it is curious to see 
 how the space clears around a man, and leaves 
 him room and freedom. I have known seve- 
 ral parents, both fathers and mothers, v.hose 
 management of their famihes has answered this 
 description, and has displayed a striking exam- 
 ple of the facile complacency with w4iich a 
 number of persons, of different ages and disposi- 
 tions, will yield to the decisions of a firm mind 
 acting on an equitable and enlightened systemy^ 
 But while we do justice to this great and most 
 effectual quahty, it must never be forgotten that 
 decision, when untempered by affection, and 
 unpoised by a wise, considerate, generous esti- 
 
 Foster's Essay on Decision of Character. 
 
 3^ 
 
so AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 
 
 mate of the rights of others, too quickly degen- 
 erates into sternness and severity. 
 
 And is not authority, often converted into an 
 instrument of evil rather than of good, hy being 
 exerted for self-gratification, from temper, from 
 impulse, and sometimes from that love of rule 
 which closely borders upon tyranny ? 
 
 What is more common, too, than a frequent, 
 weak, irritating exercise of power, which teases 
 the child, and frets his temper, while it rarely 
 commands his obedience ? 
 
 A nurse forbids a child to meddle whh the 
 pen and ink with which he is playing, but he 
 goes on, as if deaf to her voice. She repeats 
 her prohibition, in a louder and more peevish 
 tone, " Don't do so, I will tell your papa, I 
 shall punish you if you go on." The child 
 obeys, perhaps, for a minute, but having often 
 heard the like threats, and as rarely found 
 them executed, he soon creeps to the table, 
 and again lays hold of the forbidden objects. 
 
 The nurse complains how unmanageable are 
 ber children, Httle supposing that she herself 
 h the cause ! 
 
AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 31 
 
 She should, in the first instance, with kind- 
 ness and decision, have told the child that she 
 forbad his playing with ink and pens, and 
 therefore that it must not be done. Should 
 more be necessary, let her add that, in case of 
 his once again transgressing, she shall be oblig- 
 ed to send him out of the room, or to take him 
 to his papa. 
 
 The absolute necessity of executing these 
 threats has already been remarked. 
 
 When the child sees his attendant rise to do 
 it, he will, very often, then relent, and then 
 submit, promising to repeat his offence no 
 more ; but this should make no difference ; it 
 would be merely adding to future trouble, and 
 to future disobedience. Our word, once j^ass- 
 ed, must not be broken. 
 
 Also, if a child be fretting, or crying, it will 
 Uttle avail to say that he is naughty, and to 
 order him, man)^ times, to be still. Rather let 
 him be told, that if, in five minutes, (for we 
 should allow him time to recover himself) he 
 is not perfectly quiet, he must be removed 
 from the table, or sent into the next room. 
 
32 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 
 
 In such cases, it is of comparatively little use 
 to threaten punishment, generally — we should 
 always state the particular privation which we 
 mean to impose. 
 
 It is the result of experience that authority is 
 to be estabhshed, rather by actions than words. 
 What is vulgarly called scolding, is altogether 
 unnecessary ; the government of the tongue is 
 therefore essential to those engaged in the busi- 
 ness of education. In mind and action we 
 should be firm ; in manner, mild and quiet. 
 It is a common mistake to talk too much, to 
 make too much noise, in managing children. 
 A multipHcity of words — complaints — encour- 
 agements rebukes threats but, nothing 
 
 done, nothing effected, when, probably, one 
 decided action v/ould have accomplished the 
 object without further trouble. 
 
 For example ; a child gives way to temper 
 and passionate crying at his morning dressing — 
 The nurse prolongs the evil and adds to the 
 noise, by her upbraidings and persuasions, 
 which, at the moment of irritation, of course, 
 avail nothing. She had better be silent at the 
 
AtJTHORITT ANfi OftfitHENCE* 56 
 
 time, calmly pursuing her usual course, and at 
 breakfast, should her mistress approve it, the 
 offender may be deprived of some little indul- 
 gence which the other children are enjoying. 
 Only let her take care to do this with kindness, 
 explaining the reason of her conduct, but not 
 upbraiding him with his fault ; assui ing him of 
 the pain it gives her to deprive him of any gra- 
 tification, and of the pleasure she will feel, in 
 bestowing the same upon him, when his beha- 
 viour shall deserve it. This mode of proceed- 
 ing will effect more, than an abundant repeti- 
 tion of mere admonitions and rebukes. 
 
 So, also, if a child behave unusually well, or 
 obtain some victory over himself, encourage- 
 ment will leave a more beneficial and more last- 
 ing impression, if, instead of saying any thing 
 to him at the time, we take an early opportuni- 
 ty of bestowing some favour upon him, remind- 
 ing him of the cause of this indulgence, and, 
 then, expressing our approbation of his conduct. 
 
 With children, a vigilant superintendence is 
 required, but not a frequent interference. 
 
34 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 
 
 The object of education, "is to preserve them 
 from evil, not from childishness." 
 
 We should, therefore, be very lenient to those 
 errors, which are more " the defects of the age 
 than of the individual," and which time, there 
 is little doubt, will remove, reserving our au- 
 thority to be exercised with the more effect, on 
 important occasions — such occasions, as bear 
 upon fundamental principles and moral habits. 
 
 Children must, and should be, children still, 
 and it is our duty to sympathize with them as 
 such ; to impose upon them no unnecessary re- 
 straint, to grant them every harmless gratifica- 
 tion, and, as far as possible, to promote their 
 truest enjoyment, remembering, that, although 
 the day is often cloudy, yet it is mercifully or- 
 dered that the dawn of hfe should be bright and 
 happy, unless by mismanagement, it be render- 
 ed otherwise. 
 
 It may, at first sight, appear inconsistent with 
 what has been just said, strongly to recommend 
 that the will be effectually subjected in very 
 early childhood. This object must be obtain- 
 ed, if we would proceed in the business of edu- 
 
AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 35 
 
 cation, with comfort, or ensure the welfare and 
 happiness of our children. A portion of stricter 
 discipline may, for a time, be required, but dis- 
 ciphne, be it ever remembered, is perfectly 
 compatible with the tenderest sympathy and the 
 most affectionate kindness. Many persons who 
 allow themselves to treat children, during their 
 earhest years, merely as playthings, hum.ouring 
 their caprices, and sacrificing, to present fan- 
 cies, their future welfare, when the charm of 
 infancy is past, commence a system of restraint 
 and severity ; and betray displeasure and irrita- 
 bility at the very defects, of which they them- 
 selves have laid the foundation. But if author- 
 ity has been thoroughly estabhshed in the be- 
 ginning of hfe, we shall have it the more in our 
 power to grant liberty and indulgence, and to 
 exercise a genial influence over our children, 
 when their feelings are ripening, and when their 
 affection and confidence toward their parents 
 are of increasing importance. Amidst the vari- 
 ous objects of education, the cultivation of con- 
 fidential habits is too often overlooked even by 
 affectionate and attentive parents. They are. 
 
36 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 
 
 perhaps, obeyed, respected, and beloved ; but 
 this is not sufficient. If, in addition, a parent 
 can be to her children the famihar friend, the 
 unreserved confidant, the sympathizing partner 
 in their joys and sorrows, hopes and disappoint- 
 ments, a hold on the mind is obtained, which 
 will continue when authority ceases, and prove 
 a safeguard through the most critical period 
 of hfe. 
 
 It is important, in the management of chil- 
 dren, to make but few rules, and to be unal- 
 terably firm in enforcing those which are 
 made — to give no needless commands — but to 
 see that those given are strictly obeyed. We 
 should also be cautious of employing authority 
 on occasions in which it is likely to be exerted 
 in vain ; or of commanding what we cannot en- 
 force. If, for example, we desire a child to bring 
 a book, and he refuse, we can clasp the book in 
 his hand, and oblige him to deliver it. But if 
 we have imprudently declared that he shall not 
 dine or walk till he has repeated a poem, or 
 :Spoken a particular sentence, should he choo?e 
 
AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 37 
 
 40 resist, we cannot compel him ; and this af- 
 fords an obstinate child the opportunity for ob- 
 taining a victory over those to whom he ought 
 to submh. 
 
 There are cases in which children, without 
 any ill intention, are unable to obey ; and in 
 these, also, they should not be commanded. 
 ■Of this, personal tricks are an example : — 
 " My dear, don't bite your nails," may be re- 
 peated a dozen times in the course of a lesson ; 
 but such is the force of habit, that tlie hand 
 still, involuntarily finds its way to the mouth. 
 If we are determined to overcome the propen- 
 sity, it must be done by some external re- 
 straint, as by fastening the hand in a glove, 
 he. ; — not by commands, which, as they can- 
 not be obeyed, serve only to nnpair the habit 
 of ready obedience. 
 
 It is the part of wisdom, as far as possible, 
 so to exercise authority, that it should be con- 
 sidered as inviolable, never to be disobeyed or 
 contemned with impunity. 
 
 The restraint of the tongue, which has be- 
 fore been mentioned as necessary to those who 
 4 
 
o8 AUTHORITY AND OBEDIENCE. 
 
 educate, is one of the most important habits to 
 be enforced also upon children themselves, and 
 is a great security to proper submission under 
 authority ; forming no small part of that self- 
 subjection, which is essential to true discipline. 
 Impertinent and disrespectful" language is not 
 to be allowed ; for this, once admitted, is the 
 certain harbinger of actual insubordination, and 
 a train of other evils. 
 
REWARDS, PUNISHMENTS, SiC. 39 
 
 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 
 PRAISE AND BLAME. 
 
 Rewards and punishments, praise and blame, 
 are the main supports of authority, and its ef- 
 fect will greatly depend on our dispensing these 
 with wisdom and caution. 
 
 A very frequent recourse to rewards does 
 but lessen their efTect, and weaken the mind 
 by accustoming it to an unnecessary stimulus, 
 whilst punishment, too freely administered, v/ill 
 fret the temper, or, which is worse, break the 
 spirit. 
 
 Locke remarks, "that those children, who 
 are the most chastized, rarely prove the best 
 men ; and, that punishment, if it be not pro- 
 ductive of good, will certainly be the cause of 
 much injury." 
 
 It is better, therefore, if possible, to effect 
 our purposes by encouragement and rewards, 
 rather than correction. But if this be imprac- 
 ticable, we should stih keep in view, that pun- 
 
40 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 
 
 ishment, being in itself an evil, and intended 
 simply to deter from what is wrong, and to in- 
 duce submission and penitence, ought never to 
 be extended beyond w^iat is absolutely neces- 
 sary to secure these objects, and, unless inflict- 
 ed by parents, or those who are possessed of 
 the first authority, should be of the mildest and 
 least alarming character. 
 
 Not only the rod, but severe reproaches, 
 rough handling, tying to bed-posts, the hasty 
 slap, the dark closet, and every thing that 
 might terrify the imagination, are to be ex- 
 cluded from the nursery. If a nurse be under 
 the necessity of punishing a child, she may 
 confine him for a time in a light room, remove 
 him from table, or allow him simply to suffer 
 the natural consequences of his offence. If he 
 intentionally hurt his brother with a whip, the 
 whip must for a time be taken from him. If 
 lie betray impatience and selfishness at table, 
 let him be served the last, and with the least 
 indulgence. Such gentle measures, adminis- 
 tered v/ith decision, will generally succeed, for 
 it is much more the ctrtainty and immediate 
 
PRAISE AND BLAME. 41 
 
 execution, than the severity, of punishment, that 
 will avail. A child, who is svre of being con- 
 fined a quarter of an hour, if he strike his com- 
 panion, is less likely to commit the offence 
 than another v.ho has only the apprehension 
 that he may be detained an hour ; for the hope 
 of escaping with impunity adds no little force 
 to temptation. Correction, also, is not to be 
 unnecessarily delayed or prolonged. Delay 
 renders it less effectual, and more trying to 
 the temper ; whilst any needless continuance, 
 in every way, increases the evils, and lessens 
 the benefits which might result from it. 
 
 There is much, in education, to be done by 
 watching our opportunities, by acting at the 
 right season. With most children there is an 
 era, and this often takes place as they are 
 emerging from babyhood, in which a struggle 
 is made for the mastery, — in which it is to be 
 decided who is to rule, — the child, or those 
 v.ho are placed over him. At such a junc- 
 ture, in order to determine the matter, and 
 firmly to cstabhsh authority, it will be necessa- 
 ry to employ vigorous measures, and to sup- 
 4* 
 
42 REWARDS ANB PUNISHMENTS, 
 
 press the first risings of a rebellious and diso- 
 bedient spirit, by punishment, decisive ; and 
 repeated till submission on the part of the child,- 
 and victory on that of the parent, are com- 
 pletely secured.^ So great is the importance 
 of these contests ; so great is the difficulty of 
 carrying them on with the temper, and the 
 union of firmness and affection, which they re- 
 
 * Although the use of the rod is most strictly to be 
 pfohibi^^ed to those who possess only secondary authority, 
 yet, with some few children, a parent may find it necessary 
 to employ corporal punishment in order to establish the 
 liabit of obedience, or effectually to subdue a propensity to 
 falsehood, or to any other glaring breach of moral principle. 
 Under such circumstances corporal punishment may be very 
 eflficacioas ; but to render it so, or rather to prevent its be- 
 coming a dangerous evil, it must be resorted to only as a last 
 resource on very important occasions, and administered as a 
 chastisement of the most serious nature, wiih decision, per- 
 fect serenity of temper and affection towards the offender. 
 
 It will also be found that corporal punishment, if necessa- 
 ry at all, will be most useful in the early stages of childhood ; 
 <yvery advancing year, as it should add to a child's generosi- 
 ty of feeling, and sense of honour, increa'<es the serious dis^ 
 sfdvantages which attend this mode of correctioa. 
 
^ PRAISE AND BLAME. 43 
 
 quire, that it is desirable they should be con- 
 ducted only by a parent. Punishment is more 
 often to be inflicted simply as the consequence 
 of a fault, and not with the idea, that it must 
 be prolonged till the particular action required 
 has been performed. 
 
 A child is desired, for instance, to put up his 
 play-things, and he refuses with so much self 
 will, that his attendant cannot overlook it, and 
 is under the necessity of telling him that he 
 must be confined in the next room for a quar- 
 ter of an hour ; but let her beware of adding, 
 that there he shall stay till he icill put them 
 up. This would serve merely to engage in 
 the combat his pride and his obstinacy. At 
 the end of the quarter of an hour she should 
 release him fi^om his imprisonment, without 
 waitins; to make conditions for his future obe- 
 dience. 
 
 It has been said, indeed, that submission, on 
 the part of the offender, is the object of pun- 
 ishment, and such submission as may entitle 
 him to receive complete forgiveness. When a 
 child has been corrected, we should not rest 
 
44 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 
 
 satisfied till this object has been attained ; but 
 it is not, in all cases, to be expected, either 
 during the continuance of the punishment, or 
 immediately afterwards. 
 
 A well trained child, if affectionately admon- 
 ished after correction is over, and not being irri- 
 tated at the idea that it may be continued, will 
 generally yield at once ; but it is not consider- 
 ed necessary to put this always to the proof. 
 He has committed a fault, and has suffered the 
 consequences. Here it is often wisest to leave 
 the affair for the time, choosing the earliest fa- 
 vourable opportunity, when he has more per- 
 fectly recovered himself, for receiving his sub- 
 mission, and assuring him of forgiveness. 
 
 If his attendant have conducted herself in 
 the right spirit, he will have felt the force of 
 her correction, though he may not have shewn 
 it at the time. The next day, if she desire 
 iiim to put up his play-things, he will, pretty 
 certainly, obey with more than common alac- 
 rity. 
 
 When a child has been punished, he should 
 be restored as soon as possible to favour ; and 
 
S»RAISE IKD BLAifE. 45 
 
 when he has received forgiveness, treated as if 
 nothing had happened. He may he affection- 
 ately reminded of his fauU in private, as a warn- 
 ing for the future ; but, after peace has been 
 made, to upbraid him with it, especially in the 
 presence of others, is almost a breach of hon- 
 our, and, certainly, a great unkindness. Un- 
 der any circumstances, to reproach children in 
 company is equally useless and painful to them^ 
 and is generally done from irritability of tem- 
 per, with little view to their profit. 
 
 We are to remember that shame will not ef-^ 
 fectually deter children from what is v.Tong ; 
 and that in employing it too much as an instru- 
 ment of education, we have reason to appre- 
 hend we may lead them to act from the feai" 
 of man rather than from that of God. Every 
 thing, too, which may in the least injure the 
 characters of children, is to be strictly avoided. 
 To have the name of a naughty child will pro- 
 duce so disheartening an effect upon the mind, 
 that the ill consequences may probably be felt 
 through life. It is on this account desirable, 
 chat tutors, governesses, and nurses, be cau- 
 
46 REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS, 
 
 tious of enlarging upon the faults cf those un- 
 der their care to any but the parents. 
 
 Blame, and even praise, are to be dispensed 
 with nearly as much caution as punishments 
 and rewards ; for a child may be called 
 "good," "naughty," "troublesome," "kind," 
 or " unkind," till either his temper will be kept 
 in continual irritation, or he will listen with per- 
 fect indifference. 
 
 A child must not be punished or reproved 
 from the impulse of temper ; we may regulate 
 his actions, but we cannot hope to subdue his 
 will, or improve his disposition, by a display of 
 our own wilfulness and irritability ; for our ex- 
 ample will more than counteract the good ef- 
 fects of our correction. If irritated, we should 
 wait till w^e are cool, before we inflict punish- 
 ment, and then do it as a duty, in exact pro- 
 portion to the real faultiness of the offender ; 
 not to the degree of vexation he has occasioned 
 ourselves. A child should be praised, reprov- 
 ed, rewarded, and corrected, not according to 
 the consequences, but according to the motives, 
 of his actions — solely with reference to the 
 
 I 
 
PRAISE AND ELAME. 47 
 
 I'idit or wrong intention which has influenced 
 him. 
 
 Children, therefore, should not be punished 
 for mere accidents, but mildly warned agninst 
 similar carelessness in future. Whereas some 
 people shew much greater displeasure with a 
 child for accidentally overthrowing the table, 
 or breaking a piece of china, than for telling 
 an untruth ; or, if he hang his head, and w^ill 
 not shew off in company, he is more blamed 
 than for selfishness in the nursery. But does 
 not such treatment arise from preferring our 
 own gratification to the good of the child ^ and 
 can we hope, by thus doing, to improve him in 
 the government of his temper, or to instruct 
 him in the true standard of right and wTong .^^ 
 
 Punishment, administered in anger, is no 
 longer the discipline of love, but bears too 
 much the character of revenging an injury, and 
 will certainly excite in the sufferer a corres- 
 pending temper of mind. From fear, indeed, 
 he may yield externally, but the feehngs of his 
 heart would lead him to resentment rather than 
 to penitence and submission. And let it never 
 
48 REWARDS AND PUNISHilENTS 
 
 be forgotten, that if we desire to perform our 
 duties to children, it is not to their outward 
 conduct, but to the heart, that we must direct 
 our chief attention. 
 
 To punish with effect requires decision, and 
 ;Sometimes courage. If, in addition to this, our 
 punishments carry v/ith them the stamp of love ; 
 if they are inflicted with an undisturbed serenity 
 of temper, with a simple view to the good of the 
 offender, " not for our pleasure, but for his 
 profit," they will rarely fail in accomphshing 
 the intended purpose ; for children have a 
 ruick sense of the motives that influence us, 
 and their hearts are not unfrequently as much 
 softened, and their affections as powerfully call- 
 ed forth by such correction, as by the most grati- 
 fying rewards that could be bestowed upon 
 them. 
 
TEMPER. 43 
 
 TEMPER. 
 
 On no part of the character has education 
 more influence, than on the temper ; the due 
 regulation of which is an ohject of so great im- 
 portance to the enjoyment of the present hfe, 
 and to the preparation for a better. 
 
 An authority such as has been described, 
 firm, but affectionate ; decided, yet mild ; im- 
 posing no unnecessary restraints ; but encour- 
 aging every innocent freedom and gratification, 
 exercised according to the dictates of judg- 
 ment, and supported by rewards and punish- 
 ments judiciously dispensed ; is the best means 
 of securing good temper in our children, and 
 evinces that self-subjection on our part vvhich is 
 essential to its successful cultivation on theirs. 
 This, at once, will put an end to those impul- 
 ses of temper in ourselves which are the most 
 fruitful sources of irritation to others ; for, it is 
 surprising, how quickly our own irritability will 
 be reflected in the little ones around us. Speak 
 
50 TEMPER. 
 
 to a child In a fretful manner, and we shall 
 generally find that his answer partakes of the 
 same character. We may reprove ; we may 
 punish ; we may enforce obedience ; but all 
 will done with double the effect if our own 
 temper remain perfectly unruffled ; for what 
 benefit can reasonably be expected, when we 
 recommend that by our injunctions which we 
 renounce by our example ? 
 
 The variations and inconsistency to which 
 characters of impulse are also liable, are par- 
 ticularly trying to children. There are lew 
 tempers that can resist the effect of being 
 sharply reproved at one time, for what, at 
 another, is passed over without notice ; of be- 
 ing treated one day with excessive indulgence, 
 and the next w^ith fretfulness or severity. 
 
 We all have our weak and irritable mo- 
 ments ; we may experience many changes of 
 temper and feeling ; but let us beware of be- 
 traying such variations in our outw^ard conduct, 
 if we value the good temper and respect of 
 our children ; for these we have no right to 
 expect on their part, without consistency on 
 purs. 
 
TEMPER. 5L 
 
 If a fault be glaring, it must be seriously ta- 
 ken up ; but in the management of the tem- 
 per, especially in early childhood, much may 
 be effected by a system of prevention. A ju- 
 dicious attendant may avert many an impend- 
 ing naughty fit, by change of object, gentle 
 amusement, and redoubled care to put no 
 temptation in the way, if she observe any of 
 her little ones weary, uncomfortable, or irrita- 
 ble. This, for instance, will generally be the 
 case with children when they first awake. 
 They should, therefore, then be treated with 
 more than common tenderness ; never roused 
 from sleep suddenly or violently ; nor exposed 
 to any httle trials, till they have had time 
 thoroughly to recover themselves. It is scarce- 
 ly necessary to add, how peculiarly this tender 
 consideration is required, not only in illness, 
 but under the various lesser indispositions so 
 frequent in infancy. 
 
 Children ought not to be, unnecessarily, 
 thwarted in their objects ; which, at a very 
 early age, they pursue with eagerness. Let 
 them, if possible, complete their projects with- 
 
52 vTfeMPER. 
 
 out interruption. A child, for example, be- 
 fore he can speak, is trotting after a ball ; the 
 nurse snatches him up at the moment, to be 
 washed and dressed, and tlie poor child throws 
 himself into a violent passion. Whereas, had 
 she first entered into his views, kindly assisted 
 him in gaining his object, and then gently taken 
 him up, this trial would have been spared, and 
 his temper uninjured. 
 
 We should avoid keeping children in sus- 
 jaence, which is often done from a kind mo- 
 tive, though with very ill effect. If a child 
 ask his nurse for a cake, and she can give it- 
 him, let her tell him so at once, and assure 
 him that he shall have it ; but, should she be 
 unable to grant his request, or know it would 
 be improper for him, do not let her hesitate ; 
 4o not let her say, " I will think of it, we 
 shall see," but kindly and decidedly refuse 
 him. 
 
 If he sees his mother going out, and petition 
 to accompany her, it will be better she should 
 say " No," or " Yes," at once, for he will re- 
 cisiv8 with ease an immediate^ but kind, refu- 
 
TEMPER. 53 
 
 sal ; when, probably, he would cry bitterly at 
 a denial, after his expectations had been rais- 
 ed by suspence. 
 
 When a child is to go to bed, we ought not 
 to fret him for the last half hour, by saying 
 every few minutes, " I shall soon send you to 
 bed — Now, my dear, it is time to go — Now, I 
 hope you will go" — but let him be told that, at 
 such a time, he is to go to bed, and when that 
 time arrives, no common excuse should pre- 
 vent it. 
 
 We ought also to be guarded against attach- 
 ing too much importance to trifles ; from this 
 mistake, many an useless combat arises in most 
 nurseries. How often have I observed a nurse 
 more disturbed, and a child more alarmed and 
 fretted, at a torn or dirty frock, than at a 
 breach of truth, or a want of generosity ! 
 Here the lesser good is preferred to the great- 
 er, and the primary object of education forgot- 
 ten.^ 
 
 * It is much to be regretted that dress is thus often made 
 the subject of dispute and irritation. Perr-onal cleanliness 
 
 5* 
 
54 TEMPER. 
 
 By such measures as have been recom- 
 mended, accompanied by a quick sympathy 
 with the peculiar characters, and peculiar infir- 
 mities of children, much may be done towards 
 forming among them a habit of good temper. 
 But, such is the irritabihty both of mental and 
 bodily constitution in childhood, that, with our 
 best efforts, we must not expect unvarying suc- 
 cess. 
 
 From some hidden cause, generally to be 
 traced to their bodily state, many children, per- 
 haps all occasionally, are prone to a certain fret- 
 fulness, or irritabihty, which will baffle every 
 attempt to overcome it, and which, therefore, is 
 rather to be borne with than opposed — never 
 to be humoured, but to be received with un- 
 moved serenity and patience. In such cases, 
 there appears to be no other method of pro- 
 ceeding. This, indeed, calls for great patience ; 
 but, without great patience, who can perform 
 tlie duties required towards children ^ 
 
 i'5 indeed indispensable; and children, Avhether it teaze t];eoa 
 m not, must be thoroughly washed. But their clothes 
 
JUSTICE. ^O 
 
 JUSTICE. 
 
 *' Impartiality is the life of justice, as jus- 
 tice is of all good government." It is necessa- 
 ry diligently to enforce upon children principles 
 of stricty2(5/ice, and invariably to act upon them 
 ourselves. We must have no partiahties, but 
 give to every one his due : to the elder as much 
 as to the younger, (in this a deficiency may 
 often be observed ;) to the unattractive as well 
 as to the more pleasing ; each according to his 
 deserts, and not according to his own particular 
 feelings. " On every occasion our decisions 
 are to be regulated not by the jjerson, but by the 
 cause. We are not to infringe upon the rights 
 of children ; remembering that their feelings 
 
 should be so contrived as not to interfere with their freer'om 
 and enjojr-ment, or to require any great degree of attention. 
 It is desirable to keep them as neat as the case admits of, but, 
 to this, a nurfje must take care that neither her own temper, 
 nor thcir's is sacrificed 
 
66 JUSTICE. 
 
 are a counterpart of our own, and that human 
 nature is the same at every age. It is, there- 
 fore, a great, though very common error, to sup- 
 pose, that, because they are placed under our 
 power, we are not bound by the same laws of 
 justice and honour, in our deahngs with them, 
 as with our equals. It is a well known re- 
 mark, that " the greatest respect is due to chil- 
 dren ;" and this is especially to be manifested in 
 a conscientious regard to their just and natural 
 claims. We should hold their little property as 
 more sacred than our own ; and insist upon the 
 same principle in their conduct towards each 
 other : not allowing one child to use the play- 
 things of his brother, especially in his absence, 
 without his express consent ; teaching them the 
 true import of " thine and mine ;" and making 
 it a point of honour to consider the rights of 
 others, as they would their own. 
 
 Children ought not to be ohliged to give and 
 lend : this is a very frequent mistake. One of 
 them, for example, is eating a cake, and the in- 
 fant cries for it : the nurse begs for a piece in 
 Vain ; and irritated by the unkindness of the 
 
JUSTICE. 57 
 
 6ne, and the cries of the other, she hastily 
 breaks the cake, and gratifies the desire of the 
 younger, by seizing the property of the elder. 
 The latter feels himself injured ; his anger is 
 excited towards his oppressor ; and his kind 
 feehngs towards his brother impaired : whilst 
 the former is strengthened iti the idea, that, by 
 crying and impatience, he shall obtain the grat- 
 ification of his wishes. Or, an elder child has 
 a cart ; he has played with it till he is tired : 
 the younger begs for the use of it ; the elder 
 peremptorily refuses. The nurse persuades 5 
 she complains, urges, and remonstrates, till she 
 obtains a reluctant consent : or, if not, seizes 
 the cart, and gives it to the younger. Here the 
 law of justice is broken : and the rights of the 
 elder child are violated. It is true, he was un- 
 kind and unobliging ; but the cart and the cake 
 were his own ; and by taking them from him, 
 without his free and full consent, we shall not 
 teach him generosity, but injustice. 
 
58 HARMONY, GENEFjOSTTY, &cC. 
 
 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, he. 
 
 Thoroughly to establish the prmciples of 
 strict justice in the conduct of those who rule, 
 and in that of the children, one toward another, 
 is the grand means of securing the peace and 
 good order of a nursery, and the only sure 
 ground-work of harmony, mutual generosity, 
 and, consequently, of love. The apprehension 
 lest his property should be extorted from him ; 
 the fear of having his own rights, in any way, 
 infi'inged ; the suspicion that he may not re- 
 ceive his due — renders a child irritable and 
 contentious : whilst the certainty that he him- 
 self shall be treated with entire justice aiid im- 
 partiality, satisfies his mind, composes his spi- 
 rit, and prepares him to impart, with liberality, 
 what he knows is altogether in his own power. 
 
 At the same time, the habit of nice attention, 
 on his part, to the rights of others, teaches him 
 the invaluable lesson of subduing his desires, 
 and of expecting limits to his individual gratifi- 
 
HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &tC. 59 
 
 cation. Thus the principle of justice, brought 
 into full effect, cuts off the main sources of dis- 
 ^te and contention ; prepares the way for a 
 free and liberal spirit ; is the surest preservative 
 against an envious, suspicious temper ; and is 
 the first step towards overcoming that selfish- 
 ness, which is the prevailing evil of the human 
 heart. This evil must be carefully watched, 
 and perseveringly counteracted, especially by 
 guarding against it in our own hearts and beha- 
 viour ; for, let it be remembered, that generosity 
 and affection are virtues, which, from their na- 
 ture, do not admit of being enforced by author- 
 ity. We must not attempt to command them ; 
 nor should we upbraid children for the want of 
 them, even towards ourselves, though we may 
 do much to promote their growth, by this strict 
 adherence to justice, by influence, instruction, 
 and a judicious improvement of those natural 
 feelings of kindness, which almost all children 
 occasionally display. There are few who will 
 not discover emotions of sympathy and pity at 
 the sight of any sorrow or suffering, which they 
 understand to be such ; and these are the occa- 
 
^0 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C. 
 
 sions for awakening their benevolence and coni- 
 paesion, not only toward their fellow creatures, 
 but to every living thing. We should be par- 
 ticularly careful to lose no such opportunity of 
 cultivating this tenderness of feehng among 
 themselves. If one of the little flock be ill, or 
 in pain, the others will, generally, shew an in- 
 terest and sympathy — a desire to comfort and 
 jalease him, which should be carefully cherish- 
 ed. The affections of elder children are also 
 often called forth, in a lively manner, toward the 
 younger. Now, although their attentions to the 
 little one, may at times be troublesome to the 
 attendant, she ought not hastily to suppress 
 them — rather let her commend the younger to 
 the care and protection of the elder ; ever bear- 
 ing in mind the importance of nurturing that 
 family affection, so invaluable in the progress of 
 life, and of which the foundation is generally 
 laid within the first ten years of childhood. 
 
 Elder children, are, on the contrary, some- 
 times inclined to tease, and domineer over the 
 younger ; though it is commonly those who 
 have themselves been treated with tyranny 
 
HARMONY, genehosity, hc. 61 
 
 that are most disposed, in their turn, to become 
 tyrants. This inclination is ever to be repress- 
 ed : we are to point out the meanness, as well 
 as the barbarity, of employing superior strength, 
 in opprescing, or tormenting, the weak and the 
 helpless ; and uniformly to manifest our abhor- 
 rence of cruelty and tyranny, under whatever 
 form they may appear, even when exercised to- 
 ward the most insignificant insect. Let the first 
 appearances also of a revengeful disposition 
 be especially guarded against, both in our chil- 
 dren, and in the conversation and conduct of 
 those who are about them. If a child, in infan- 
 cy, be encouraged to beat the table, against 
 w^iich he has bruised his head ; if he be allowed 
 to strike his brother, from whom he has re- 
 ceived a blovv^ ; if he hear the language of re- 
 taliation and mutual reproach among his attend- 
 ants, can we be surprised, if he display an iras- 
 cible and vindictive temper, as his will and his 
 passions are strengthened by age ? 
 
 Alihongh we are not to force upon children 
 even the best instruction, nor urge them to an 
 -exertion of self-denial and benevolence, fov 
 6 
 
(Jl2 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C 
 
 for which their minds are not ripe ; yet we 
 must remember the importance of raising their 
 views, as they are able to hear ity to the Chris- 
 tian standard of relative goodness. We may 
 gradually inculcate the invaluable precepts, that 
 we should forgive one another, as w^e hope our- 
 selves to be forgiven ; that " blessed are the 
 merciful, for they shall obtain mercy;" that " we 
 are to do to others as we would have them do 
 to us" — having compassion toward all ; being 
 pitiful and courteous; remembering " the words 
 of the Lord Jesus," that " it is more blessed to 
 give than to receive." 
 
 How many of the fairest opportunities will na- 
 turally present themselves, especially to a 
 mother, w^hen the hearts of her little ones are 
 touched, not only of inculcating these divine 
 injunctions, but which will still more Gvail, of 
 tenderly infusing the spirit they breathe, by sym- 
 pathy and influence ? Nor is it only the precepts 
 of the New Testament, which may assist us on 
 these occasions, w^e have also to point out the 
 example of Christ. We have to cultiva.te the 
 habit of contemplating his cliaracterj not only 
 
HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C. 63 
 
 to be loved and admired, as perfect in itself, 
 but as a pattern for us, as the standard at which 
 we are continually to be aiming, as that which 
 is intended to produce the strongest effects up- 
 on our hves and affections. It is to be la- 
 mented that of this perfect pattern we make so 
 little practical use, that it is so little brought to 
 bear upon the daily conduct of hfe. No reli- 
 gious instruction is better suited to the minds of 
 children, than that derived h-om the example of 
 Christ, and no part of this example more calcu- 
 lated to touch their hearts, than the compas- 
 sion, the tenderness, the consideration of the 
 wants and feelings of others, which he so per- 
 fectly displayed.* 
 
 * The compassion and tenderness of our Lord will be strong- 
 ly illustrated by contrasting them with the behaviour of the dis- 
 ciples. Excellent as they were as men, their impatience and 
 even want of charity, on many occasions, sufficiently prove, 
 liow wide i« the difference between human virtue, ar.d divine 
 perfectio.i, between that exalted standard which is set before 
 us for our imitation, and the conduct of those who have most 
 nearly app-oached to it. It was the language of the disci- 
 ples, " Send the multitude awaj that they may go into the 
 
04 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, hc. 
 
 Children may be easily trained to exercise 
 kindness and liberality towards the poor -, they 
 will experience a pleasure in relieving their 
 
 vilhges and buy themselves victuals." Jesus answered, 
 " Give ye them to eat" *« I have compassion upon the mul- 
 titude, I will nor 5erd them away fasting lest they faint by 
 the way." (Matthew xiv. and xv.) 
 
 The followers of our Lord *• char;:ed the blird man that 
 he should hold his peace." " Jesus stood still, commanded 
 him to be brought unto him saying, What wilt thou that I 
 should do unto thee 1 R eceive thy sight, thy faith hath sav- 
 ed thee." (Luke xviii.) 
 
 When parents brought their young children to Jesus that he 
 should bless them, the disciples rebuked them. "Jesus was 
 much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little childreni 
 to come unto me, and forbid them not. And he took them 
 Up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them." 
 (Markx.) 
 
 When the Samaritans refused to receive their master, the 
 di -ciples would have commanded fire to come down from 
 heave)! to consume them. Jesus answered, " Ye know not 
 what manner of spirit ye are of, the Son of man is nof come 
 to destroy men's lives, but to save them." (Luke ix.) 
 
 When his enemies surrounded our Lord with swords and 
 staves, *' Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the 
 High Priest's servant and cut off his right ear — then said 
 Jesus un-o Peter, Put up thy sword into the sl.ealh." *' And 
 Iq touched his e^ and healed it." ^^Luke xxii.— John xviii.) 
 
HARMONY, GENEROSITY, fcc. 65 
 
 wants. When old enough, the boys may be in- 
 duced to save money ; the girls, to make clothes 
 for the poor families, with whom they are per- 
 sonally acquainted. It is important that the 
 A«c^iV of giving freely should be early established; 
 for the usefulness of many characters is materi- 
 ally abridged through hfe from the want of this 
 habit. With good and benevolent intentions, 
 they know not hoio to dispense liberally, or how 
 to open their hands freely. Mutual presents, 
 if altogether voluntary, have also a happy ten- 
 dency in promoting family affection and good 
 will. But, in endeavouring to foster liberality, 
 it must never be forgotten, that kindness is not 
 to be forced. 
 
 Children, as they advance in age, should be 
 taught to distinguish between that true generos- 
 ity which involves self-denial, and that v/hicli 
 costs them nothing- — between a generosity which 
 springs from a desire of applause, and that 
 which is simply the result of benevolence and a 
 sense of duty. 
 
 It is desirable that the play-things, books, Lc. 
 of each child be marked whh his own name. 
 6* 
 
06 HARMONY, GENEROSITY, &C. 
 
 This prevents many disputes, by facilitating that 
 regard to individual property before recom- 
 mended. When the division of any common 
 treat is left to the children themselves, it is a 
 good regulation that the divider is always to 
 expect the last choice himself; and that the 
 absent are particularly to be remembered — 
 the m.ost liberal shares being reserved for them. 
 These observations may appear unnecessa- 
 rily minute ; but it is by little things that chil- 
 dren acquire habits, and learn to apply general 
 principles : " To a fond parent, who would not 
 have his son corrected for a perverse trick, but I 
 
 excused it, saying it was a small matter, Solon 
 wisely rephed, 'Aye, but custom is a great 
 
FEAHFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 67 
 
 TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 In various characters fear assumes various 
 forms. Some children who can brave an ex- 
 ternal danger will sink depressed at a reproof 
 or sneer. It is our business to guard against 
 the inroads of fear under every shape ; for it is 
 an infirmity, if suffered to gain the ascendancy, 
 mo9t enslaving to the mind, and destructive of 
 its strength and capability of enjoyment. At 
 the same time, it is an infirmity so difficult to 
 be overcome, and to which children are so ex- 
 cessively prone, that it may be doubted whether, 
 in any branch of education, more discretion or 
 more skill is required. 
 
 We have two objects to keep in view ; the 
 one, to secure our children from all unnecessa- 
 ry and imaginary fears — the other, to inspire 
 them with that strength of mind, which may 
 enable them to meet, with patience and cour- 
 age, the real and unavoidable evils of life. 
 
 For the first, there is no one who has con- 
 
68 FEARPULNESS AND FQRTITUDE. 
 
 templated the suffering occasioned, through life,, 
 by the prevalence of needless fears, imaginary- 
 terrors, and diseased nerves, but would most 
 earnestly desire to preserve their children from 
 these evils. To this end, they should be, as 
 far as possible, guarded against every thing like- 
 ly to excite sudden alarm, or to terrify the 
 Imagination. In very early childhood, they 
 ought not to be startled, even at play, by sud- 
 den noises or strange appearances. Ghost sto- 
 ries, extraordinary dreams, and all other gloomy 
 and mysterious tales, must on no account be 
 tiamed in their presence : nor must they hear 
 histories of murders, robberies, sudden deaths, 
 mad dogs, or terrible diseases. If any such 
 occurrences are the subjects of general conver- 
 sation, let them at least be prohibited in the 
 nursery. Nor is it of less importance that we 
 should be cautious of betraying alarm at storms, 
 a dread of the dark, or a fear and disgust at 
 animals. The stricter vigilance in these re- 
 spects is required, because, by a casual indis- 
 cretion on our part, by leaving about an injudi- 
 cious book, by one alarming story, by once 
 
FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 69 
 
 yielding ourselves to an emotion of groundless 
 terror, an impression may be made on the mind 
 of a ciiild that will continue for years, and m i- 
 terially counteract the eifect of habitual watch- 
 fulness. How cruel, then, purposebj to excite 
 false terrors in those under our care : as by 
 threatening them with " the black man who 
 comes for naughty children," with " gipsies," 
 *' the snake in the well," &c. ! Not that chil- 
 dren will be long deceived ; but when the black 
 man and dreadful monster shall have lost their 
 power, the effect on the imagination — a habili- 
 ty to nervous and undefined terrors will con- 
 tinue — and thus, for the trifling consideration 
 of sparing ourselves a little present trouble, we 
 entail upon those entrusted to us, suffering, and 
 an imbecility of mind, which no subsequent ef- 
 forts of their own may be able v/holly to over- 
 come. We have reason to hope, that the par- 
 ticular expedients here referred to are, in the 
 present day, excluded from most nurseries ; 
 but we may, perhaps, fall into similar errors, 
 under a more refined form — by exciting, for 
 insiance, an apprehension of immediate judg- 
 
TO TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 ments from heaven, as the consequences of iM 
 conduct. But it is to be remembered, that the 
 attempt to touch the conscience, or to enforce 
 obedience, by terrifying the imagination, is, 
 under every form, to be reprobated, as aho- 
 gether erroneous and highly injurious. This 
 mode of proceeding is, commonly, the resort 
 of v.eakness and inexperience ; for authority, 
 established on righ principles, needs no such 
 supports. Superstitious fears of every kind 
 are the more to be dreaded, and earnestly 
 guarded against, because so pecuharly apt to 
 mingle themselves with rehgion, to discolour 
 that which in its own nature is full of attraction, 
 and which, if not disguised or distorted by the 
 imagination, would appear, as it is in truth, a 
 reasonable and joyful service. 
 
 Great care is required that children do not 
 imbibe terrific and gloomy ideas of death ; nor 
 should they incautiously be taken to funerals, 
 or allowed to see a corpse. It is desirable to 
 dwell on the joys of the righteous in the pres-. 
 enre of their heavenly Father, freed from eve- 
 ry pain and sorrow, rather than on the state and 
 
TEARFULNESS AND rORTITUDE. 71 
 
 burial of the body, a subject, very likely, pain- 
 fully to affect the imagination. On this point, 
 books are often injudicious. It may be well to 
 mention, as an instance, the Lines on a Snow- 
 drop in that useful and pleasing little work, en- 
 titled, *' Original Poems." Here the poor lit- 
 tle babe, doomed forev^er to the pit-hole, would 
 leave a gloomy impression on the mind of any 
 child of quick feeling and imagination : it is 
 therefore better to make a point of cutting out 
 such passages from a nursery hbrary. 
 
 If children are naturally of a timid, nervous 
 constitution, or if, unfortunately, they have im- 
 bibed those fears from which we should most 
 wish to guard them, much may be done toward 
 restoring them to a healthful tone of mind ; — 
 but it must be effected by more than common 
 skill, and by measures the most gentle and un- 
 perceived. Direct opposition, upbraiding a 
 child for his cowardice, accusing him of fear- 
 ing the dark, of believing in ghosts, &:c., will 
 but establish, or perhaps create, the very evils 
 we desire to counteract. If a child dread the 
 (lark, he must on no account be forced into it. 
 
72 FEARFULNE3S AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 i)i' left in bed against his will without a candle. 
 We had better appear neither to see his weak- 
 ness, or consider it of importance, and for a 
 time silently to yield to it, raiher than to notice 
 or oppose it ; at the same time losing no oppor- 
 tunity of infusing a counteracting principle. He 
 may very soon be tempted to join his bolder 
 companions in a dark room at a game of play, 
 or to hunt for sugar-plums, especially if his 
 mother or nurse will join in the sport, till he 
 become accustomed to it. Well chosen stories, 
 without any apparent reference to himself, may 
 be related to him, displaying the good effects 
 of courage, as opposed to the folly and ill con- 
 sequence of cowardice. As he advances in 
 age and strength of mind, he will be able to 
 profit by some reasoning on the subject. We 
 may animate him to overcome his fears by an 
 exertion of his ow^n, encouraging him by re- 
 wards and approbation ; but let the efforts 
 which he makes be wholly voluntary, and not 
 by constraint. 
 
 It is not uncommon, with the idea of remov- 
 ing the groundless fears of children, to give 
 
FEAE.FULNESS AND FORTITUDE. To 
 
 tliem histories of strange, terrific, or perhaps, 
 ghost-hke appearances, to be in the sequel clear- 
 ed up and explained away. But experience 
 will convince us, that this is a very mistaken 
 system ; for, in childhood, the imagination is 
 quick and retentive, but the reasoning powers 
 slow and weak. The alarming image and ner- 
 vous impression may continue, whilst the subse- 
 quent explanation and practical inference will 
 most hkely be forgotten. 
 
 There are few more fruitful sources of fear- 
 fulness than mystery : it is therefore a mistake 
 to assume an air of concealment toward chil- 
 dren — to speak in their presence by hints, or in 
 a suppressed voice, on subjects unsuited to them. 
 We are apt also to forget how many things are 
 to them fearful and mysterious, which experience 
 has rendered to us familiar and simple. In the 
 course of conversation, and amidst the common 
 occurrences of hfe, many things will strike the 
 mind and even the senses of a child as strange 
 and alarming, merely because he understands 
 them but by halves ; and this not unfrequently 
 arises from the thoughtless manner in which we 
 
74 TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 are apt to speak before children of distressing 
 circumstances, as of terrible diseases and other 
 calamities. Such impressions, when perceived, 
 ought neither to be ridiculed, nor carlessly over- 
 looked. We should endeavour to ascertain 
 from what they proceed, and to state the sub- 
 ject in question in so simple and familiar a man- 
 ner as may strip it of its alarming character. 
 To succeed in this, it will be necessary to culti- 
 vate that quick penetration which readily under- 
 stands the looks and manners of children, a lan- 
 guage which often conveys more than their 
 words. I had, a few weeks since, an example 
 of this with a little boy of my own, about five 
 years old. He was walking with me in the 
 dusk of the evening ; as we passed one corner 
 of the garden, I found my hand squeezed more 
 lightly, and an inchnation to cling to my side, 
 but nothing was said ; in returning to the same 
 spot, this was again and again repeated. I was 
 certain it must arise from an emotion of fear, 
 though I could perceive nothing likely to pro- 
 duce it. I would not however pass it over, and 
 at length induced my little companion to con- 
 
FBARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 7o 
 
 fess, — "Mamma ! I think I see under that bush 
 an animal with very great ears !" I immedi- 
 ately approached the object, gently persuading 
 him to follow me, when we found to our amuse- 
 ment a large tin watering pot, and "the very 
 great ears" converted into the spout and han- 
 dle. Had the squeeze of the hand been un- 
 heeded, a fearful association with the dark, and 
 whh that spot in the garden, would, there is lit- 
 tle doubt, long have continued. 
 
 In endeavouring; to cjuard those under our 
 care from fearfulness, we are not to forget the 
 importance of inspiring them with prudence. 
 
 Fearfulness does but embitter life with the 
 useless dread of evils, which cannot or may not 
 happen — prudence promotes cur safety by 
 teaching us to use all reasonable precautions 
 against positive evils. Whilst, therefore, we do 
 our utmost to secure our children from useless 
 fears, we should strongly but coolly warn them 
 against real dangers, as those from fire, water, 
 &;c. Although prudence and fearfulness are 
 sometimes confounded, it is remarkable how of- 
 ten they act in direct opposition to each other, 
 
70 FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 the coward being hurried by his groundless or 
 imaginary terrors into actual dangers. 
 
 " Fortitude is not only essential as a Christian virtue in 
 itself, but as a guard to every other virtue."' Locke. 
 
 Although by securing our children from use- 
 less fears and alarming impressions, we gain the 
 first step toward the cultivation of courage and 
 fortitude, yet this alone is not sufficient. If we 
 would ensure the attainment of these excellent 
 endowments, it will be necessary to infuse into 
 our system of education a certain portion of 
 resolution and hardihood. We must bear in 
 mind that we have to train up those entrusted 
 to us not for a hfe of rewards, ease and pleas- 
 ure, but for a world, in Vvhich they will meet 
 with pain, sickness, danger and sorrow. That 
 we are bringing them up, not only to be useful ' 
 in the various engagements of this life ; but 
 chiefly to carry on that great work, the salvation 
 of their souls, in which fortitude and self-denial 
 are essential ! 
 
 Although we cannot be too careful to pro- 
 mo\Q the happiness of children, an object sure- 
 
TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 77 
 
 Iv too often neglected in education, yet do we 
 not defeat our purpose in proportion as we 
 unfit them for the hfe upon which they are en- 
 tering by too tender and enervating a system ? 
 By so doing, we increase their sensibihty to 
 pain, whilst w^e add nothing to their sources of 
 true enjoyment. It is the path of wisdom to 
 steer between opposite evils, avoiding on the 
 one hand every appearance of unkindness, 
 or a want of feeling and sympathy — on the 
 other, a fostering to excess an over-indulgence, 
 a morbid anxiety and sensibility. " We should 
 distinguish between the wants of nature and ca- 
 price," bringing up our children as little de- 
 pendent as possible upon bodily indulgence and 
 luxuries ; accustoming them to the plainest 
 food, to hard beds, airy rooms, and, as far as 
 their constitutions will allow of it, to hardy 
 habits. That tendency to self-indulgence, dain- 
 tiness and waste, so often to be observed in 
 those who are living in the midst of affluence, 
 is to be carefully repressed in early Hfe. — 
 Something, perhaps, may be done toward this 
 important end by positive restraints ; but how 
 
78 TEARFULNESS AND FORTltUDE. 
 
 much more effectually shall we accomplish our 
 purpose, if we can form such hahits, and esta- 
 blish such principles, as will lead children to 
 deny themselves ! Nor will it be difficult to 
 represent to them that a lavish and intemperate 
 use of the gifts of our heavenly Father is a spe- 
 cies of ingratitude to him, and of injustice to 
 those of our fellow creatures who need the 
 blessings so abundantly bestowed upon us. 
 
 We should endeavour to furnish children 
 with a shield against the lesser pains, the daily 
 portion of vexation and disappointment, from 
 which even the happiest childhood is not ex- 
 empt, and thus to prepare them for the more 
 serious trials of advanced hfe. We must be- 
 ware of giving heed to the language of mur- 
 muring or discontent, " cheering but not be- 
 moaning them" under their little misfortunes, 
 and especially discouraging the habit of crying 
 and fretting on every slight accident, and pass- 
 ing pain ; for such a habit induces effeminacy 
 of character, and the self-government requir- 
 ed to suppress complaints and tears, is strength- 
 ening to the mind, and calculated to lead on, 
 "by lesser victories, to nobler efforts hereafter. 
 
FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 79 
 
 When children are sick, or in pain, whilst 
 doing onr utmost to reheve, to solace and to 
 divert them, it is yet necessary for their saJces^ 
 hard as it may be to ourselves, to mingle 
 resolution with our tenderness — for if, by an 
 excess of indulgence, by too great a display of 
 sympathy, we weaken the mind or spoil the 
 temper ; in that proportion we add to their suf- 
 ferings ; and I believe it will generally be 
 found, as I was convinced myself by the pain- 
 ful experience of many months, that some dis- 
 cipline, combined with the tenderest attentions, is 
 as necessary for the comfort of children in sick- 
 ness as in health. It is also of importance early 
 to encourage them to submit with resolution to 
 the necessary infliction of painful remedies, and 
 to think lightly of them, as tooth-drawings taking 
 medicine, and using other means which often 
 form a considerable part of the trial of sickness. 
 
 In bringing up children at home, care is re- 
 quired that they should not imbibe a sense of 
 self-importance, and personal superiority. In 
 flomestic famihes, secluded from general socie- 
 
80 FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 ty, this is by no means an unfrequent evil. 
 The little ones being in fact the primary ob- 
 ject to their parents, imperceptibly catch the 
 feehng, and are discomposed when put out of 
 their own way, or thrown into the back ground ; 
 whereas an important branch of the hardihood 
 of mind, so much to be desired in children, is 
 that self-subjection which induces a readiness 
 *' to take the lowest place," and to yield their 
 own inclinations for the accommodation of their 
 superiors. Tiie hourly exercise of self-denial, 
 and the necessity of considering the interests 
 of others, which arise from living in a commu- 
 nity, greatly promote this invaluable temper ; 
 and if all education require *' sound wisdom 
 and discretion," a double portion is needed 
 with a single child. 
 
 We shall succeed in the early cultivation of 
 fortitude and patience, chiefly by influence, and 
 the careful formation of habits. There are cer- 
 tain principles, however, relating to the subjects 
 before us, not to be prematurely brought for- 
 ward, but ever to be kept in view, thoroughly 
 
TEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 81 
 
 to be established in our own minds, and strongly 
 impressed upon those of our children, as their 
 powers strengthen and opportunities offer. These 
 are the principles of overcoming self, of strug- 
 gling against natural infirmities, of enduring pre- 
 sent pain, for tlie sake of futm-e good, and still 
 more, of iiumble submission to the will of God, 
 receiving, as from the hand of a gracious father, 
 not only our many comforts and blessings, but 
 the portion of sorrow and disappointment which 
 he sees meet to dispense to us for our good. 
 When inculcating principles, we shall find it a 
 great assistance with children, to enforce them 
 by examples, and to engage the feelings and 
 imagination by interesting narratives, which may 
 illustrate our instructions, and elevate the mind. 
 Such, on the subject before us, are the stories 
 in Evenings at Home, on " True Heroism," 
 and " Perseverance against Fortune," — many 
 parts of Sandford and jMerton, and of " True 
 Stories for Children" — selections from the lives 
 of eminent men ; as of Howard, k,c. From 
 profane history ; as the accounts of Reguhis, 
 of the citizens of Calais, kc. From the char- 
 
82 TEARFULNESS AND FOilTITUDE. 
 
 acters of Scripture ; as Abraham's and Ell's 
 submission, Stephen's martyrdom, and above 
 all, from the life and death of him, who set us a 
 perfect " example that we should follow his 
 steps," whose history is indeed too sacred to 
 be rendered common, but must be imparted to 
 children as they are able to rehsh and to enter 
 into it. 
 
 I would venture to remind those engaged in 
 the work of education, of the necessity of prac- 
 tising themselves that fortitude and patience, 
 which they are desirous of cultivating in their 
 young charge. A mother especially, and in her 
 feelings an affectionate nurse will closely par- 
 ticipate, is vulnerable at so many points ; the 
 objects of her tenderest affection are exposed 
 to so many diseases, so many hazards, that she 
 may becom.e the prey to endless fears, equally 
 painful to herself, and injurious to her children, 
 without the habitual exercise of self-govern- 
 ment and principle — a principle founded on the 
 conviction that it is not in ourselves to preserve 
 life and health ; that with all our care and vigi- 
 
FEARFULNESS AND FOTITITLDE. 83 
 
 lance, it is comparatively little we can do, and 
 that after taking every reasonable precaution, 
 our only lasting resource is to commit ourselves, 
 and those nearest to us, to him " in whom we 
 liv^e and move, and have our being," who hath 
 numbered the very hairs of our head, and who 
 suffereth not even a sparrow to fall to the 
 ground without him. It is not sufficient barely 
 to acknowledge these divine truths ; they must 
 be " inwardly digested," and formed into prac- 
 tical principles to enable a tender parent to 
 prepare her children for " the warfare of life," 
 and to meet with composure and submission, 
 the vicissitudes and anxieties necessarily at- 
 tendant on bringing up a family. Nor is the 
 utter fruitlessness of excessive care to be for- 
 gotten : such care, by enervating the mind, and 
 weakening the body, altogether defeats its own 
 end, making way for the very evils it would 
 guard against, and what is more pitiable than 
 the state of that child, who, having imbibed his 
 mother's sensations, lives a prey to the continu- 
 al dread of the common casualties of life ^ 
 It may be well here to add a particular can- 
 
84 FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 
 
 tion to nurses, who are too often inclined in 
 times of sickness and solicitude, to give way to 
 their own feehngs, and thus to unfit themselves 
 for rendering the help and support so much 
 needed by the mother, as well as by their httle 
 patients. A tearful or melancholy countenance 
 has in itself a depressing eflect, and a steady 
 cheerful temper of mind is almost as important 
 a requisite in a nurse as tenderness and affec- 
 tion. Some minds are naturally endowed v.ith 
 such a portion of fortitude, as enables them to 
 meet with comparative ease the roughnesses and 
 trials of life ; but with most of us so invaluable 
 an attainment is to be acquired only by diligent 
 cultivation ; by little and httle, by many efforts 
 and daily practice, by previous preparation and 
 habit of mind, radier than by a sudden effort 
 at the moment of trial. It is a remark of no 
 small moment, that " health should be the pre- 
 paration for sickness, and prosperity for adver- 
 shy." We should labour, therefore, to acquire 
 an habitual composure, self-possession, and pre- 
 sence of mind, and as far as possible, to impart 
 the same to our cliildren ; to be ahvays quiet. 
 
FEARFULNESS AND FORTITUDE. 85 
 
 c[uick in applying the necessary remedies, not 
 yielding to sudden alarms and agitations ; never 
 indulging in the injurious habit of screaming or 
 uttering exclamations on the various accidents 
 of a nursery ; nor urging as a plea for such fail- 
 ures, a weakness of nerves. This, in the present 
 day, is often brought forward as a cover for in- 
 firmities, which are rather to be condemned, 
 and resolutely overcome, than palliated or in- 
 dulged. 
 
 It is desirable for parents, and those entrust- 
 ed with the care of children, to instruct them- 
 selves in the best method of proceeding, under 
 the sudden diseases, and dangers to which chil- 
 dren are the most liable, as convulsions, choking, 
 wounds, profuse bleeding, accidents from fire, 
 water,* &tc. 
 
 * See Dr. Aikin's chapter on Pi-esence of Mind in his 
 Evenings at Home. 
 
86' XNBEPENDENCE. 
 
 INDEPENDENCE. 
 
 Connected v/ltli tliat strength of character, 
 the cultivation of which has been recommended, 
 is independence. It will be of great advantage 
 to children if they are early induced to put forth 
 their powers ; to resort first to the resources 
 within themselves ; and as far as possible, to 
 obtain their objects by their own exertions. 
 Such an exercise strengthens the faculties, and 
 gradually prepares a child for acting alone ; 
 whilst the habit of having every thing done for 
 him, of depending upon others for all his enjoy- 
 ments, enervates the mind, and has a tendency 
 to weaken the active powers. The " I can't," 
 with which children are apt to reply to the com- 
 mands given to them is rarely to be admitted. 
 " I can't is too often brought forward merely as 
 an excuse for indolence, or an apology for diso- 
 bedience. Our pupils must learn that success 
 depends upon resolute exertion ; and that, un- 
 .der certain limitations, it is a truth that man can 
 
INDEPENDENCE. 87 
 
 do what he chooses to do. This conviction, 
 adopted as a practical principle, will be power- 
 ful in its effects ; and will materially contribute 
 to improve the capacities, and augment the use- 
 fulness of any character."^ Children will act 
 with prudence, will employ and take care of 
 themselves, very much in proportion as we lead 
 them to do so ; we must manifest our confi- 
 dence in them, if we would render them wor- 
 thy of it. Where can we find a being more 
 helpless, more unable to contrive for himself; 
 to guard against danger, or to escape from it 
 when it comes upon him, than a child v/ho has 
 been brought up by his mother's or his nurse's 
 side, looking to her for every enjoyment ; and 
 feeling his safety to be wholly dependent on her 
 
 * " Dr Hunter, the celebrated surgeon, being asked b;y 
 •vvhat methods he had contrived to succeed in all his various 
 tmderlakings, answered, * My rule is deliberately to consider 
 before I commence, whether the thing be practicable. If it 
 be not practicable, I do not attempt it — if it be practicable, I 
 can accomplish it, if I give sufficient pains to it — and having 
 begun, I never stop till tiie thing is done. To this rule I 
 owe all my success.' " 
 
8S INDEPENDENCE. 
 
 care ? On the other hand, it may excite sur- 
 prise to observe how much good sense and seli- 
 possession children will display, when early ac- 
 customed to depend upon themselves. This 
 object, like every other connected with educa- 
 tion, is not to be attained by great efforts, but 
 gradually, and by gentle measures. We are 
 not to impose upon children that which is be- 
 yond their strength or skill ; but we may lead 
 them to take pleasure in accomplishing their 
 objects without assistance ; to feel it a point of 
 honour to pursue them, notwithstanding some 
 difficulties ; to extricate themselves, to submit 
 to trouble, and to surmount obstacles. 
 
 As it is by the " neglect of beginnings" that 
 bad habits are contracted, we should not over- 
 look even those minor occurrences of hfe, which 
 early afford opportunities for inculcating a spirit 
 of independence ; for example : a little child 
 runs to the door, impatiently turns and twists 
 the handle, but cannot open it ; the nurse 
 springs up and does h for him. But it would 
 have been better had she kindly encouraged him 
 m exert his own skilly and, with the aid of her 
 
 I 
 
INDEPENDENCE. 89 
 
 instructions, to effect his purpose. He may by 
 degrees take care of, and put away liis own 
 play-things, dress himself, he. ; but in urging 
 him to these little efforts, care w^ill be required 
 that we do not carry it so far, as to make them 
 too serious a business, or to try his temper. 
 As he advances in age, let him in his walks 
 climb the gate and hedge alone ; attend to his 
 own garden ; saddle his own poney ; and as 
 far as he is able, find amusements for himself 
 in his play-hours. When it can be done with 
 safety, he may, occasionally, be entrusted 
 with the care of a younger brother or sister. 
 This has a tendency to endear children to each 
 other, the elder feels the younger to be under 
 his particular protection, whilst the younger 
 looks up to his brother for help and defence. 
 By cultivating these sentiments, we may check 
 the oppression, teasing, and, consequently, dis- 
 putes so common between the elder and youn- 
 ger children of a family. 
 
 It is not unfrequently the case that mothers 
 and nurses are pleased by the unquahfied de- 
 
90 INDEPENDENCE. 
 
 pendence of those under their care ; and, for 
 self-gratification, encourage it, at the expense 
 of their cliildren. They strive to retain their 
 influence, and to secure a selfish afi:ection, by 
 rendering their darlings helpless, and by foster- 
 ing their babyish habits. But it is to be remem- 
 bered that general independence and vigour of 
 character are perfectly compatible with the 
 dependence of affection. This, indeed, is an 
 object of first-rate importance, and must neces- 
 sarily spring out of that tenderest connection — 
 the connection between a mother and her chil- 
 dren ; it must be the result of those innumera- 
 ble kindnesses, of that flow of love and sympa- 
 thy, which an affectionate and judicious mother 
 cannot but uniformly display toward her chil- 
 dren. Such a mother needs not the aid of a 
 morbid dependence to retain her influence, she 
 has no occasion to nurture the infirmities of her 
 children, that she may strengthen their affec- 
 tion. It is to be desired that children should 
 possess the greatest tenderness toward a mother, 
 an enjoyment and delight in her society, a rev- 
 ^ence for her opinions, and submission to her 
 
INDEPENDENCE. 91 
 
 authority, combined with power to act alone^ 
 and to pursue their independent objects with 
 vigour and pleasure ; for it is necessary to all, 
 but more especially to boys, that they should 
 mingle strength with affection ; that they should 
 be manly^ as well as tender, and be trained to 
 help, as well as to be helped. 
 
03 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 
 
 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, AND 
 ATTENTION. 
 
 As Idleness is the inlet to most other evils, 
 so it is by industry that the powers of the mind 
 are turned to good account. That so httle is 
 effected by most people, may be attributed 
 much more to the waste and misapplication, than 
 to the want of natural powers ; and it will gen- 
 erally be found that usefulness of character de- 
 pends more upon diligence, than any thing else, 
 if we except religious principle. It is therefore 
 highly important to train up children to habits of 
 industry, application, and perseverance. They 
 should early be made sensible of the infinite 
 value of time ; they should be made to under- 
 stand that no economy is so essential as the 
 economy of time ; and that, as by squandering 
 pence, we are very soon deprived of pounds ; 
 so, by wasting minutes, we shall lose not only 
 hours, but days and months. They ought not, 
 therefore, to be allowed to remain idle, " be- 
 
AND ATTENTION. 93 
 
 cause it is not worth while" to undertake any 
 employment; for this is an excuse often brought 
 forward during those intervals of time which oc- 
 cur in the course of almost every day. We 
 mistake, if we suppose that industry is to be 
 confined to lesson hours : children may be as 
 idle when at play, as over their books : we must 
 therefore take care that the time devoted to re- 
 laxation be properly and happily employed. 
 The first dawnings of a listless, dissatisfied dis- 
 position are to be checked : such a propensity 
 will lead a child to loll in his chair — to stretch 
 on the ground, rather than trouble himself to 
 join in the games of his more active compan- 
 ions : it will lead him to seek for amusement, 
 first, in one thing — then, in another, but to rest 
 content with none. To counteract this tenden- 
 cy, it is necessary to supply children with pleas- 
 urable objects — varied, but not too numerous — 
 and to encourage a vigorous and persevering 
 pursuit of them. It is desirable, if in the coun- 
 try, that they should have gardens of their own, 
 tools, a poney, &:c. ; and we shall find it an im- 
 portant advantage, if we are able to inspire 
 
94 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 
 
 them with a taste for reading as an amusement. 
 This will be promoted by the habit of buying 
 and collecting books for themselves ; each child 
 enjoying the privilege of a httle library of his 
 own. 
 
 One of the duties of a nurse is to employ hei* 
 charges well in the absence of their parents* 
 If, for example, she provide herself with paper^ 
 pencils, paints, little pictures, &ic. to cut out and 
 paste, as employment for wet days and winter 
 evenings, many hours may be spent harmoni- 
 ously and happily, which, in an ill regulated 
 nursery, would pass in idleness, and, conse- 
 quently, quarrelling and mischief. For children, 
 who are brought up in domestic and natural 
 habits, it will not be difficult to find an abun- 
 dant variety of wholesome and simple pleasures; 
 and we should carefully avoid exciting a desire 
 for artificial amusements, which, if they pro- 
 duce no other ill consequence, are hke all unne- 
 cessary stimulants, enervating in their effects, 
 vitiating to the taste, and hkely to abate the rel- 
 ish for more common and more valuable enjoy- 
 ments. Among such objectionable amusements 
 
AND ATTENTION. 9,5 
 
 are to be ranked those of the theatre, cards, and 
 every species of infantine gaming.* 
 
 We must endeavour to inspire children with 
 the spirit inculcated in the following precept — 
 " Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with 
 thy might," Eccles. ix. 10, — to bring them gra- 
 dually *' to be a whole man to every thing." 
 This is an acquirement fraught with the most 
 important advantages, though of very difficult 
 attainment. So volatile is the mind during child- 
 hood, so averse to restraint, that it is only by 
 very slow degrees the habits, here recommend- 
 ed, can be formed. We must not expect com- 
 plete success with any children ; and, with 
 some, the difficulty will appear nearly insur- 
 mountable. Energy of mind, like poiver in 
 mechanism, if once attained, may be directed 
 and applied to a variety of objects ; but the 
 want of this energy — an indifference, a spirit- 
 lessness of character — is a defect, most difficult 
 
 * By "infantine gaming," it is intended to include o:iIy 
 tho'^e games in which children plaj'- for monev, or vrhich, at 
 ^east, may lead to their doing so at some future period. 
 
DO INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 
 
 to be overcome. Our ordinary resources are 
 apt to fail with minds of tliis cast ; for, with 
 them, the hope of obtaining a desired object ; 
 the wish for rewards ; the love of reputation, 
 and even a sense of duty, will readily yield to 
 every difKculty, and rarely triumph over that 
 aversion to labour, which, if suffered to prevail, 
 has a tendency to undermine whatever is excel- 
 lent or valuable. In the treatment ol children 
 of this character, a double portion of patience 
 and perseverance is required ; and, with all our 
 efforts, we may appear to effect very little ; but 
 that little will probably lead to more. We must 
 observe their tastes ; and, if possible, excite ac- 
 tivity, by presenting them with objects which 
 particularly accord with their inchnation. We 
 may sometimes, with those of good dispositions, 
 ac-complish our purpose, by engaging their af- 
 fections, and working upon love more than up- 
 on fear. It w^ill also be especially necessary to 
 guard against that deceit, which is too often the 
 consequence of indolence ; for a child, habitu- 
 ally indolent, will make it his object to get 
 through every employment, particularly his ie?- 
 
AND ATTENTION. D7 
 
 sons, with as little trouble to himself as possible ; 
 and the consciousness of his deficiencies — the 
 consciousness of having failed in duty, will, al- 
 most inevitably, induce him to take refuge in 
 falsehood or mean excuses. We should, there- 
 fore, as far as possible, avoid trusting such chil- 
 dren to learn their lessons alone ; for this will 
 be exposing them to temptation. Let it be an 
 object to give them employments which they 
 cannot evade — from which there are no means 
 of escaping ; — something to be done, and not 
 merely to be learnt. For instance, it will be 
 better to set them so many hues to write, rather 
 than to learn by heart. If tasks must be set, 
 they should be made as short, as defined, as 
 mechanical as possible, and learnt in the pres- 
 ence of the teacher. To all children, perhaps, 
 the rudiments of learning may be made easier, 
 by rendering them as mechanical as the sub- 
 ject admits of. It may be better not to tell a 
 little child that he shall spell his lessons till he 
 does it without a mistake, but to desire him to 
 spell it so many times over, aloud and distinct- 
 ly, as the business of the day. — Children will 
 9 
 
98 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 
 
 also learn more readily, when their lessons ar^ 
 regulated by established rules. If a child be 
 uncertain how much he is to read, he will pro- 
 bably murmur when the portion is shewn to 
 him. Rather let it be fixed, that, to read so 
 much, to spell so many words, so many times, &c. 
 is to be the regular business of every day. He 
 will then come with a prepared mind, which is 
 as important to the success and good temper of 
 children as of ourselves. On this account, a 
 daily perseverance in teaching, and regular 
 hours, are necessary. The habit of omitting 
 lessons, on every slight excuse, has an injuri- 
 ous effect ; and a child \\ ill come very unwil- 
 lingly to be tauglit, who, from his past experi- 
 ence, daily hopes that he may put off the task, 
 or escape it ahogether. 
 
 It ought to be our object, that our pupils 
 should advance surely, rather than rapidly. 
 The most impoitant advantage of lessons, — of 
 regular daily lessons, in chikihood, is this : — 
 That ihcy afford us an excellent opportunity of 
 enforcing habits of self-subjection, diligence, 
 .and attention, and an opportunity of cultivating 
 
AND ATTENTION. 99 
 
 & tasic for intellectual pursuits. In the first ten 
 years of life, it is not the quantity of knowledge 
 acquired, but the habit of learning well, that is 
 of consequence. With very young children, 
 however, even this principle is to be acted up- 
 on with moderation. It is a rule that such a 
 portion should be readj spelt, Sec. : and our 
 object is to have this portion done ivdl ; but we 
 must be prepared for constant fluctuations in 
 our Kttle pupils. The fixed portion of business 
 must, indeed, be done ; and if vre perceive a 
 spirit of self-will and disobedience, this must 
 be corrected. But that our pupils will be, at 
 one time, more industrious ; at another, lesr> 
 so ; — at one lime, vigorous ; at another, list- 
 less ; — at one time, quick ; at another, appar- 
 ently slow and dull — must be expected : it is 
 the nature, the constitution, of children. These 
 changes are to be borne with unrufiled patience 
 and quietness, and expressions of displeasure 
 carefully avoided ; for it is hurtful, and utterly 
 useless, to upbraid children with dulness and 
 inattention. Let us get through the lesson — 
 set through it as well as \\q can ; and then, if 
 
iOO INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 
 
 the child display do positive naughtiness, leave 
 it. The fixed portion of husiness being com- 
 pleted, the child is to be dismissed ; and there 
 is little doubt we shall accomplish more at some 
 future period. 
 
 But the self-love of parents and teachers is 
 Very apt to insinuate itself into this employment. 
 We do not hke that other children should read 
 and write better than ours ; we are mortified at 
 not gaining the immediate fruit of our labour — 
 that the directions given to-day are not prac- 
 tised to-day. Our pupil seldom keeps pace 
 with our impatience ; this irritates the temper^ 
 and brings down complaints and punishments 
 upon the poor child, for defects which often 
 arise more from a want of powder than from a 
 w^ant of w^ill. Thus, so painful an association 
 with his books is excited, as may prove of se- 
 rious disadvantage to him in after-life. This 
 mistake is generally to be observed in young 
 mothers, and those unaccustomed to the infir- 
 mities of childhood. It should be remember- 
 ed, that the actual result of each individual les~ 
 .son is of little importance, if no bad habits are 
 
AND ATTENTION. 101 
 
 formed or wrong tempers excited. It is by a 
 long succession of lessons that progress will be 
 perceived ; by ' line upon line, and precept upon 
 precept.' Not that we are to expect that children 
 can be properly taught without discipline, or that 
 the whole of learning can be rendered merely an 
 amusement. Some objects absolutely require 
 labour and self-subjection ; but at the same time 
 there is no doubt that a judicious teacher, with 
 many children, may excite a great deal of spirit 
 in learning, and may impart instruction on a va- 
 riety of subjects so as to interest and delight 
 rather than fatigue. If once we are able to en- 
 hst in the cause the inclination of a child, the 
 chief difficulty is removed : there will be little 
 doubt of his success, and we render him a last- 
 ing service. How careful then should we be to 
 make learning as agreeable as possible, to be- 
 ware of exciting disgust towards study, and to 
 nurture a literary taste, not only as good in it- 
 self, but as an important preservative from evil, 
 especially to boys, in future life. 
 
 It is to be regretted that the common mode 
 of teaching has more to do with the memory 
 9* 
 
102 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE^ 
 
 than the understanding. With many children 
 whose innumerable " tasks are painfully learnt 
 and darkly understood," the memory is exer- 
 cised, not to say burthened, whilst the real 
 cultivation of the mind, the improvement of the 
 reasoning powers, and the formation of good in- 
 tellectual habits, are overlooked.* Is it not to 
 this cause that often may be attributed the im- 
 perfect and superficial knowledge, the want of 
 literary taste in those who have been taught 
 merely by the common school routine ; and is it 
 not desirable that such deficiences be remedied 
 as far as possible, during the intervals of time 
 passed at home, by directing the attention to 
 Enghsh reading ; to the study of natural his- 
 tory, and other interesting pursuits f As it is 
 
 •'* See Locke on the conduct of the Understandhig, and 
 Watts on the Mind ; books, from which many excellent hints 
 may be derived on the subject of education. Of the latter. 
 Dr. Johnson remarks, " Few books have been perused by 
 me with greater pleasure than Watts' Improvement of the 
 mind. Whoever has the care of instructing others-, may be 
 charged with deficiency in his duty, if this book is not recom- 
 SI ended." 
 
AND ATTENTION. 103 
 
 sensible objects which the soonest attract atten- 
 tion in early life, the works of nature may easily 
 be rendered the medium of continual instruc- 
 tion and amusement to children. On this ac- 
 count, natural history, in its various branches, is 
 particularly useful, as both pleasure and im- 
 provement may be derived from the habit of ob- 
 serving and examining the various objects with 
 which we are surrounded.* 
 
 A high standard is desirable in intellectual 
 pursuits, as well as in those of still greater value. 
 Nothing can be less ornamental than accomplish- 
 ments performed in a poor style, and with bad 
 taste, or than that superficial and imperfect 
 knowledge which 
 
 " is proud that it has learnt so much." 
 
 But whilst w^e endeavour to inspire our children 
 with a desire to do well, v,'hatever they under- 
 
 * The advantages of such a habit are displayed in that high- 
 ly interesting work, While's Natural History of Selbourne > 
 and in the Story of Evenings at Home, entitled? •' Eyes and 
 HO Eyes." 
 
104 INDUSTRY, PERSEVERANCE, 
 
 take, whilst we endeavour to turn to the best ac- 
 count, both their time and talents, we must be- 
 ware of raising our expectations too high ; for 
 if an ambitious spirit insinuate itself into the bus- 
 iness of education, it will be a source of mortifi- 
 cation to the parent, and of irritation to the chil- 
 dren. It is but too probable that in this case 
 the latter will be over-urged by the former; and 
 thus those very objects frustrated, which have 
 been pursued with too much eagerness. 
 
 In cultivating habits of industry, application 
 and perseverance, we are to remember that 
 there is a medium to be observed in this, as in 
 every other branch of education. These qual- 
 ities are of so much value, that they demand a 
 full share of our attention : but we are not so 
 to pursue them as to infringe upon the necessa- 
 ry liberty, and the truest enjoyment of children. 
 It ought again to be repeated, that all unneces- 
 sary restraint is only so much unnecessary evil. 
 We must also treat with much tenderness that 
 lassitude and apparent indolence, which even 
 slight indisposition will occasion in children. 
 
AND ATTENTION* 105 
 
 In the short time devoted to lessons, we may 
 gradually employ a stricter discipline ; but, in 
 play-hours, although it is a poshive duty strong- 
 ly to oppose listlessness and indolence, yet, with 
 healthy and well-trained children, we shall find 
 little else necessary than to direct their activity, 
 to encourage their projects, and to add to their 
 pleasures. 
 
106 VANITY AND AFFECTATION 
 
 VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 
 
 There, are few defects Vvliich appear ear- 
 lier than vanity. Chiidren delight in being no- 
 ticed and admired, and it is therefore of impor- 
 tance, that amidst all our affectionate attentions 
 to them, all our efforts for their good and hap- 
 piness, we guard against nurturing their self- 
 love, self-importance, and fondness for admira- 
 tion. Children ought to be the objects of our 
 assiduous attention -, we should be wilhng to 
 give up our time, not only for the more serious 
 business of education, but to please, to amuse, 
 and to make them happy. This, however, 
 may be done without throwing back their atten- 
 tion on themselves. We may shew them every 
 kindness, without flattering their vanity ; but 
 here many people are apt to mistake : their no- 
 tice is bestowed in so injudicious a manner. 
 If, for instance, upon the entrance of children 
 into a room, a general whisper of approbation 
 go round the circle j if remarks are made on 
 
VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 107 
 
 their persons, their carriage, and their manner, 
 if their sayings are eagerly hstened to and rc- 
 lieaied in their presence, the ill effect is inevi- 
 table. 
 
 Praise and encouragement, judiciously and 
 sparingly administered, will have effects very 
 different from those produced by the kind of 
 notice here objected to. The one injures while 
 it pleases, leading the subjects of it to think of 
 themselves, and exciting a self-complacency, 
 which is very soon followed by display ; the 
 other is a just reward of merit, and a stimulus 
 to what is good. In bestowing praise, how- 
 ever, even when most deserved, we should bear 
 in mind the great importance of leading our 
 children to a habit of examining their motives, of 
 doing right from a sense of duty, rather than 
 from the love of applause, or the desire of ex- 
 celhng others. Whilst we stimulate to exertion, 
 care must at the same time be taken to uphold 
 the beauty of humility as the chief ornament of 
 childhood ; but unless this, in some measure, 
 exist in our own hearts, unless we ourselves are 
 iiiflueuced by that meek and quiet spirit which 
 
108 VANITY AND AFFECTATION^ 
 
 js in the sight of God of great price, there is 
 Httle hope that we shall succeed in our endea- 
 vours to foster it in others. 
 
 An excess of personal vanity is rarely to be 
 overcome by direct opposition, or positive re- 
 straint. We shall be more likely to succeed in 
 counteracting such a disposition by allowing to 
 external appearance its due value, its due share 
 of attention — by inculcating general moderation 
 in every selfish gratification, and still more, by 
 improving the tone of mind, and raising it to 
 higher tastes and better objects. Dress should 
 be treated as a matter of very secondary impor- 
 tance ; new and smart clothes ought not to be 
 offered as a reward for good conduct ; and 
 whether they are to be of one shape or another, 
 this colour or that, is never to be brought forward 
 as an affair of consequence. Too much restraint 
 on this subject, generally defeats its own end, and 
 renders dress, just what we should wish it not to 
 be, an object of unnecessary thought and at- 
 tention. The desire to please, so strongly im- 
 planted in the heart, must be allowed to have 
 
VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 109 
 
 some play, and when kept within due bounds 
 is not to be despised or treated as a fault ; 
 while we strictly avoid all that is incorrect or 
 extravagant, we should not, unnecessarily, ex- 
 pose our children to the pain and awkwardness 
 of feeling themselves singular in manner and 
 appearance. 
 
 Closely connected with vanity is affectation, 
 to which children are also extremely prone. 
 Nothing can be more delightful than the inno- 
 cent prattle and merriment of a child, when it 
 flows simply from the gaiety of his heart ; we 
 should encourage it, and be merry with him ; 
 but if w^e have the weakness, may we not say, 
 the unkindness to let him see that he is an ob- 
 ject of attention and admiration, to put him up- 
 on shewing off his pretty ways, for the amuse- 
 ment of our friends, or allow it to be done for 
 the laugh of the kitchen ; we gain our object 
 indeed, he is sprightly and talkative, but no lon- 
 ger because he is gay at heart, but because he 
 longs to be noticed and admired ; and this is af- 
 fectation. Those who are accustomed to chil- 
 dren will be able quickly to discern affectation, 
 
 not only in their words and actions, but eve.i in 
 10 
 
110 VANITY AND AFFECTATION. 
 
 their looks, and should always disappoint it-^^ 
 always receive it with coldness and disapproba- 
 tion. 
 
 We shall succeed very imperfectly in secur- 
 ing our children from vanity and affectation, un- 
 less we first set a guard upon our own conduct; 
 unless we ourselves are acting from better mo- 
 tives than the love of admiration, or the desire 
 of excelling others ; unless our own manners 
 are simple and natural. If it be the main ob- 
 ject of those who are engaged in education, 
 that themselves or their children should please 
 and excel, a similar spirit will most likely shew 
 itself in the objects of their care. If we allow 
 ourselves to speak in affected tones of voice ; 
 fondling our children to excess, and using ex- 
 travagant expressions of affection and admira- 
 tion, a defect so frequent amongst nurses, some- 
 thing answering to it will certainly appear in 
 them ; for we shall find that they are wonder- 
 fully alive to sympathy and imitation : quick in 
 discerning what passes before them, especially 
 if it regard themselves, and, when we least sup- 
 pose it, strongly affected by the conduct and 
 fcelins; of those around them. 
 
DELICACY* 111 
 
 DELICACY. 
 
 On this subject, there is little to be said, for 
 it is only those who have refined and delicate 
 feelings ; who shrink from all that is coarse or 
 impure, and who desire for themselves to be 
 "wise unto that which is good, and simple con- 
 cerning evil," who can fully appreciate so inval- 
 uable a spirit in their children, or, who would 
 know how to guard it in them as the choicest 
 plant, though of the tenderest growth. If chil- 
 dren are tempted to commit other faults, if they 
 are misled into other errors ; there is great hope 
 that the voice of conscience will be heard, and 
 bring them back to the path of duty ; but if the 
 purity of the mind be sulhed or lost, this cannot 
 be regained : the outward conduct may be cor- 
 rect ; but a beauty, a charm, a security to all 
 that is good, is gone. The necessity of giving 
 children good principles is generally acknowl- 
 edged, but the importance of inspiring them 
 v/ith good tastes is much oftener overlooked. A 
 
112 DELICACY. 
 
 correct moral taste will not only prove an inval- 
 uable aid to religious principle, but will be a 
 safe-guard against the inroads of corruption, 
 even when religion has but too little influence on 
 the heart. Purity of character is so little in uni- 
 son with the spirit of the world, that, unless 
 carefully cherished and watched over, we can- 
 not hope to retain it, and it is, on this account, 
 more than on any other, that companions for 
 children should be selected with the greatest 
 care; that unguarded intercourse with others is 
 to be dreaded ; low company prohibited, and 
 that pecuhar discernment and discretion are ne- 
 cessar}^, in tlie choice of those, to whose care 
 they are entruse;^ 
 
 During the first ten years of life, it is gener- 
 ally the case, both with bays and girls, that the 
 character is chiefly formed by female influence; 
 and how well calculated ought that influence to 
 prove, to foster the purity and innocence of 
 childhood ! It is only to be lamented that wo- 
 men, both in the higher and lower walks of 
 life, should endanger that refined delicacy, so 
 essential to their character, by ever allowing 
 
DELICACY. 113 
 
 lliemselves to treat what is impure, as a subject 
 of curiosity or amuse luent ; by admitting con- 
 versation which is not perfectly dehcate ; by 
 reading books of an improper tendency, or by 
 devouring promiscuously the contents of our 
 public papers.* 
 
 Even httle children are sometimes inclined, 
 in their measure, to indelicate conversation, and 
 will indulge in it, for the amusement of each 
 other, and to excite a laugh ; but, in nothing 
 has a licence of tongue a more corrupting ef- 
 fect ; and any tendency to indehcacy in words 
 or actions, is one of the few things in children, 
 which ought to be treated with severity. An in- 
 correct word, or an improper trick, in infancy, 
 may at the time, be amusing, as appearing to 
 spring from childish playfulness and humour; 
 but here an object of no small importance is at 
 stake : we are to manifest our disapprobation, 
 
 * Perhaps no amusement can be less suitable than this for 
 -elder children, or young people, especially girls, and it is sur- 
 prising that newspapers are so often entrusted to them. 
 
 10* 
 
114 DELICACY. 
 
 both towards the offender, and those who are 
 amused at his faidt, and we must take care that 
 our looks correspond with our conduct ; for a 
 secret smile will more than counteract the ef- 
 fect of the severest reproof. 
 
 A great deal on the subject before us, will 
 depend on the nice principles, the correct pro- 
 priety, and the constant watchfulness of a nurse : 
 for it is by a strict, and minute attention to little 
 things, that modest and refined habits are form- 
 ed, and a disgust induced at all that is improper 
 and vulgar. A nurse cannot be too much 
 guarded in what she does or says in the pres^ 
 ence of children, nor must she fancy that 
 they are always infants, or less alive than her- 
 self, to what passes before them. At the same 
 time, the precautions taken should be perceived 
 as Httle as possible, for she will defeat her end, 
 if she excite curiosity, by giving the idea that 
 there is something to be concealed. 
 
 Diligence and regular employment are great 
 safe-guards to purity, for it is the indolent and 
 vacant mind, that is the most susceptible of im- 
 proper impressions. 
 
DELICACY. 115 
 
 When cliildren ask embarrassing questions, 
 we are not to deceive them, or resort to a false- 
 hood, that we may keep them in ignorance. 
 If we receive such questions, with an unmoved 
 countenance, and seeming indifference ; without 
 the least air of mystery or concealment, and 
 with no apparent awkwardness or confusion, we 
 may answer them, with truth, though perhaps, 
 only in part, without exciting further curiosity, 
 or improperly opening their minds, and we may 
 easily prevent their pursuing the subject, by di- 
 verting their thoughts to other objects. It is al- 
 so to be remembered, that there are some 
 things, W'hich, it is safer for children to learn 
 from their parents, than from those who are less 
 judicious and less guarded ; for, in many cases, 
 it is not so much the matter of fact, as an im- 
 proper spirit in conveying it. which is injurious 
 to the mind. 
 
il6 MANNERS AND ORDER. 
 
 MANNERS AND ORDER. 
 
 Locke considers that manner is the object 
 of next importance to rehgion and virtue, to be 
 preferred to learning, and it is evident that there 
 is no passport so good in the world ; nothing 
 that adds so great a lustre to virtue, or that so 
 well brings into daily use, more sohd acquire- 
 ments. " Good manners are the blossom of 
 good sense," and may it not be added, of good 
 feeling too ? for if the law of kindness be writ- 
 ten in the heart, it will lead to that disinterest- 
 edness in little as well as in great things — that 
 desire to oblige, and attention to the gratifica- 
 tion of others, which is the foundation of good 
 manners. If, therefore, we are successful in 
 inspiring children with such a disposition, we 
 secure the most important means of rendering 
 them pleasing. We should endeavour early to 
 infuse the spirit of that precept — " Honour all 
 men ;" to teach them that kindness and civility 
 are due to all ; that a haughty, peremptory, or 
 
MARINERS AND ORDEPc 117 
 
 contemptuous manner is not only ill-bred, but 
 unchristian ; and that this is, especially, to be 
 guarded against in their behaviour to servants. 
 Nor will young people, generally, be tempted 
 to treat with unkindness those, whose services 
 claim a return of affection and gratitude, unless 
 they are led to it by the example of others. 
 
 It will, also, be necessary to guard children 
 against vulgar habits, against roughness of man- 
 ner, as weU as coarseness of mind ; as loud 
 talking and laughing, the use of violent excla- 
 mations and expressions, " shocking ! terrible ! 
 monstrous !" he. ; nor should they be allowed 
 to continue their infantine language too long : 
 the imperfect words and broken sentences of 
 an infant, w^ill be unpleasant and appear like 
 affectation, when used by elder children ; but 
 this habit is often encouraged by the affected 
 and babyish tones of voice in which their at- 
 tendants frequently address them. It is essen- 
 tial to good breeding, that children be taught to 
 express themselves well, and to speak distinct- 
 ly and grammaticall}^ 
 
 As satire and ridicule are instruments, ill cal- 
 
118 MANNERS AND ORDER. 
 
 Ciliated to be employed in education ; so any 
 tendency to these dispositions in children them- 
 selves is to be repressed 5 mimickry, also, 
 though highly amusing, ought to be discour- 
 aged ; as being likely to induce an unpleasant 
 and improper turn of mind. 
 
 Good conduct at meals, is, with children, a 
 fair criterion of good manners, and meals may 
 be made use of, as favourable opportunities for 
 inculcating propriety of behaviour. Children 
 should be taught to sit down, and rise up from 
 table, at the same time ; to wait, w^hilst others 
 are served, without betraying eagerness or im- 
 patience ; to avoid noise and conversation, and 
 if they are no longer confined to the nursery, 
 to be able to see delicacies, without expecting 
 or asking to partake of them. To know when 
 to be silent is more important to good manners 
 than is generally supposed. Speaking, when 
 it interrupts reading or conversation, and the 
 habit of contradicting others, should be check- 
 ed, as also that ill-timed garrulity, so unpleasing 
 in some children, and which, generally, springs 
 from an undesirable self-confidence and for- 
 wardness of character. 
 
MANNERS AND ORDER. 119 
 
 Nor is the person to be neglected in early 
 life ; for it will spare children many awkward 
 feelings as they grow up, if they are taught to 
 walk and to carry themselves well ; to enter, 
 leave a room, and to address others with ease 
 and propriety. With many, the acquirement of 
 this external polish will prove a very slow 
 work, and a subject of considerable difficulty 5 
 but if we see an amiable and obedient disposi- 
 tion, there is every reason to hope that rough- 
 ness of manner will be smoothed down by time 
 and the example of others. Parents ought not, 
 therefore, to allow themselves, from their own 
 irritability and impatience, to render manner, 
 as is the case in so many families, the cause of 
 daily vexation, and of continual though fruitless 
 complaints. We must receive with patience 
 and good nature numberless little failures in 
 those w^hose happiness it is to think little of the 
 effect they produce upon others ; nor is it by 
 reproofs and admonitions, showered down up- 
 on the child, at the moment in which we wish 
 him to display his good manners, that we shall 
 effect our purpose ; but by accustoming him to 
 
120 MANNEFcS AND ORDER. 
 
 exercise habitual kindness and civility towards 
 bis companions, and those with whom he lives. 
 With all our care, however, we are not to ex- 
 pect that the manners of children will be supe- 
 rior to those of the persons with whom they 
 chiefly associate ; for, in nothing is it more true 
 that " we are all a sort of camelions, and, still, 
 take a tincture from things around us." On 
 this account, as on every other, it is of impor- 
 tance that children should witness no vulgar 
 habits in the nursery, and that the conversation 
 between the nurses themselves should be guard- 
 ed and correct. 
 
 But here it must be remarked, that in our 
 earnestness to render our children pleasing, and 
 to improve their manners, care will be required 
 that we do not rob them of their chief charm — 
 the simplicity of childhood ; for how greatly 
 are to be preferred even an uncouthness of be- 
 haviour, and awkward shyness, to any thing of 
 premature forwardness, formahty, or affectation. 
 
 " Affectation is but lighting up a candle to 
 our defects, and though it has the laudable aim 
 
ORDER. 121 
 
 ^f pleasing, always misses it." * We must also 
 avoid working upon vanity to secure good man- 
 ners, lest we nurture that love of admiration 
 which is apt, but too soon, to take an overbear- 
 ing possession of the heart. 
 
 Order.- — The general order of a nurseiy 
 will be greatly promoted by early rising, by 
 regular hours for all the employments of the 
 day, and by an attention to this maxim, 
 
 " A place for every thing, and every thing in its place." 
 
 IMethod and true order are attainments of a 
 higher stamp than is generally supposed ; for 
 they are not only useful in the lesser concerns 
 of life, but necessary to success, in the most 
 important objects : it is by these that the pow- 
 ers and activity of the mind are turned to good 
 account. " Method," as Mrs. H. More says, 
 '' is the hinge of business, and there is no 
 
 * Locke. 
 11 
 
122 ORDER. 
 
 method without order and punctuahty."— — - 
 " Method is important as it gains time ; it is 
 like packing things in a box ; a good packer 
 will get in half as much more than a bad one*"* 
 
 Cecil. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION, 123 
 
 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 Religious education has been so ably and 
 salisfactorily treated of in several works already 
 before the public,* that the Author would be 
 unwiUing, even were she competent, to offer a 
 full or connected disquisition on the subject. — 
 But as she could not entirely omit that which is 
 the foundation of all good education, she has 
 slightly touched upon some points, which from 
 lier own experience she conceives to be of par- 
 ticular importance. 
 
 '' The spirit of true rehgion is dilTusive, and 
 therefore they that are actuated by it, as they 
 wish the happiness of all, so they, labour to set 
 them in the right way that leads to it, and more 
 
 '■ Monro's Pious Institution of Youth — Babington's Prac- 
 tical View of Christian Education — Doddridge's Sermons ou 
 Education ; and the Works of Mrs. Trimmer, and Mrs, H. 
 More, on the same subject. 
 
124 RELIGIOUS INSTRtJCTIOfN. 
 
 especially will they do so, with respect to thos6 
 whom the divine Providence has put under their 
 rmmedi-ate direction and conduct, whom the Fa- 
 tlier of spirits hath committed to their care as 
 30 many talents, which he expects they should 
 improve for his service and to his glory. Pa- 
 pents should remember that their children are 
 designed to be citizens of another world, and 
 tiierefore that their principal study must be 
 how to fit them for the employs of that blessed 
 state. The instincts of nature prompt parents 
 to do good to their children, but religion exalts' 
 those instincts, gives them more noble tenden- 
 cies, higher aims, and a diviner bias."* 
 
 It is the deeply-rooted conviction, that in 
 bringing up a child, we have to do with an im- 
 mortal spirit, — which can alone excite that 
 strength of feeling, and depth of interest, essen- 
 tial to the performance of our highest duties to- 
 wards him. That many well-meaning parents, 
 who take it for granted, they are bringing up 
 
 * See Monro's Piou^ iBBtitution of Yontfe- Vol. i. pp. 18. 
 19. and. 33, 
 
RELIGIOUS IN'STRUCTION. 125 
 
 their families religiously, manifest so little ear- 
 nestness in the cause : that rehgion is, in fact, 
 made so secondary an object, must, in many 
 cases, be attributed to the want of strong practi- 
 cal faith ; to the want of a real and operative 
 behef in the solemn and repeated declarations 
 of Scripture, that the present world is but a state 
 of probation, and that on the short time spent 
 here depends the everlasting condition of every 
 individual. Amidst the various cares, engage- 
 ments, and pleasures of life, there is great dan- 
 ger of neglecting those things which though 
 most important are least seen. We are called 
 upon to apply ourselves in earnest, and ".whilst 
 it is called to day," to the religious improvement 
 of our children, as those " whose time is short ;" 
 as those who remember that in this case there 
 is a double uncertainty, in the lives of their chil- 
 dren, and in their own; as those who know that 
 the present may be the only opportunity of per- 
 forming the high duties required at their hands. 
 But enlightened zeal is ever accompanied by 
 wisdom and prudence — our efforts will many, 
 times be hidden and unseen, for when outward 
 
126 KELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 exertion would be ill-timed or injudicious, maj^ 
 not a parent promote the best interests of her 
 children by that unobserved vigilance, that spi- 
 rit of the heart, which we may confidently be-* 
 lieve will not fail of its reward ? 
 
 Some parents are deficient in the religious 
 eare and instruction of their children, from the 
 false notion that as it is divine grace alone 
 which can change the heart ; so they have little 
 else to do than to sit still, and leave their chil- 
 dren to the operation of that grace ; supposing 
 that with it all will be well, arid that without it, 
 whatever they can do, is to little purpose. 
 Others fall into the contrary extreme ; and 
 confining their views to human efforts, alone of- 
 ten fail by imposing burthensome restraints, and 
 rendering religious duties laborious and weari- 
 some. But there is a happy medium between 
 these opposite errors. The behef that God is 
 pleased to work by means y — that he has gra- 
 ciously promised to bless the faithful use of 
 these means ; — that he has declared " as we soWj 
 so also we shall reap ;" — that he has commanded 
 ITS '^ to train up a child in the way he should 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION'. 127 
 
 go, and when he is old, he will not depart from 
 it ;" — this belief will stimulate to a diligence, a 
 constancy and a fervency of spirit in the reli- 
 gious education of our children. At the same 
 time, the sense of our own insufficiency — the 
 conviction, that although we may plant and wa- 
 ter, it is God alone who can give the increase, 
 will combine that moderation with our earnest- 
 ness and activity ; that calmness and quietness 
 with our zeal ; without which, they will often 
 prove ineffectual, and should lead us to implore 
 the divine aid and blessing so graciously prom- 
 ised to those who ask. 
 
 It is not to be forgotten, that as religion is the 
 most important, so also it is the most sacred of 
 all subjects ; and that although, from its impor- 
 tance, it is ever to be kept in view ; yet, from 
 its sacred character, it must not be made too 
 common or familiar. 
 
 " True religion," (a late valuable writer re- 
 marks) " may be compared to a plum on the 
 tree, cov^ered with its bloom ; men gather the 
 plum, and handle it, and turn and twist it about. 
 
128 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 till it is deprived of all its native bloom and 
 beauty." We are in danger of doing this, if we 
 impart religious instruction as a task, either to 
 ourselves or our pupils : if we attempt to teach 
 the sacred truths of Christianity, whilst we have 
 little sense of their beauty or of the savour that 
 attends them ; if we are in the habit of bringing 
 forward religion without a corresponding feel- 
 ing and reverence ; if we can talk of it with the 
 lips whilst the heart is little alive to the subject ; 
 and if we imperceptibly adopt a religious tone, 
 because it prevails amongst those about us. By 
 this mode of proceeding, we may encourage in 
 those under our influence an outward profes- 
 sion of what is good ; but we are not likely to 
 foster that substantial and practical principle, 
 which is the life of religion. 
 
 It is a very mistaken idea, and not the result 
 of experience, that regular connected teaching 
 is unnecessary on religious subjects. We have 
 the divine command, "thou shalt teach them 
 diligently." It is therefore our absolute duty to 
 obey, and to enlighten the understandings of 
 
RELIGI0U3 INSTRUCTION, 129 
 
 <$ur children in religious truth, in proportion as 
 they are able to receive it. But we are to en- 
 ter upon this work, not as we would undertake 
 the dry routine of a common lesson, but as a 
 business in which we peculiarly need that " wis- 
 dom which Cometh from above;" as a bus- 
 iness that has to do v/ith the heart more than the 
 head ; in which our chief endeavour should be 
 to engage the inclination and affections of our 
 pupils ; a business of incalculable importance as 
 regarding the most momentous interests of those 
 to whom we are bound by the tenderest ties. In 
 the study of the Scriptures, it is not enough to 
 read them as a letter ; it should be our desire to 
 imbibe ourselves, and to infuse by sympathy in- 
 to the hearts of our children, a measure of that 
 spirit which breathes throughout them. We 
 would not, for example, give them the particu- 
 lars of the life and death of the Lord Jesus, 
 merely to be accurately learnt and remembered 
 as any other subject of historical information ; 
 but it ought to be an object so to communicate 
 this most interesting of all narratives, as to ex- 
 cite in their hearts a love and gratitude towards 
 
130 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 him, as their divine and compassionate Re- 
 deemer. 
 
 Ahhough we would not lessen the value of 
 other means of instruction, it is evident that the 
 most important and purest source of religious 
 knowledge is the simple, unprejudiced study of 
 the Bible. If we take the Scriptures in their 
 regular order, omitting only those parts which 
 are above the comprehension of children, they 
 will supply " that which is able to make them 
 wise unto salvation :" every christian doctrine, 
 every important precept, will be presented in 
 succession, and will afford the most favourable 
 opportunity for useful observations and individ- 
 ual apphcation : and these will be most likely 
 to prove beneficial when they spring naturally 
 from the subject before us, and from the lively 
 feehng which it excites. Fenelon advises that 
 we should not only tell children that the Bible 
 is interesting and delightful, but make them feel 
 that it is so. We should endeavour to make 
 them feel the deep interest of the narratives it 
 contains, and the exquisite beauties with which 
 ft abounds. This cannot be accomphshed if 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 131 
 
 they read it as a task ; an historical acquain- 
 tance with Scripture is, indeed, very desirable ; 
 but it is from a taste for, and an interest in the 
 sacred writings, that the most important benefits 
 are to be derived. 
 
 As children are little capable of receiving ab- 
 stract ideas, it is probable that they will not de- 
 rive much benefit from being instructed in doc- 
 trines separate from facts — by facts we may 
 convey a strong and simple view of the most 
 important truths of Christianity. If, for exam- 
 ple, we can represent in lively colours to their 
 imaginations, the beautiful history of our Lord 
 calming the storm when " the waves beat into 
 the ship," and his voice was " mightier than 
 the noise of many waters," they will imbibe a^^X 
 stronger and more practical sense of his power, 
 than could have been imparted to them by 
 any bare statement of it. We shall also best 
 be able to impress upon their minds his in- 
 finite compassion towards us by reading or 
 relating to them, so r.s to realise the trans- 
 actions, and interest the feelings, such narra- 
 tives as those of our Lord's takino; the infants 
 
132 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 in his arms, and blessing them ; of his raising 
 the widow's son, of his healing the lunatic 
 child, and lastly, of his suffering and dying for 
 cur sakes, that we might be made the heirs of 
 eternal life. 
 
 It is of great importance that all religious in- 
 struction be given to children with reference to 
 practice. If they are taught that God is their 
 Creator and Preserver, it is that we may obey, 
 love and adore Him ; if, that Christ is their 
 Saviour, it is that they m.ay love him, give them- 
 selves up to him, and trust in the conditions he has 
 prescribed for forgiveness and salvation. If, that 
 the Holy Spirit is promised for their direction, 
 it is that they should beware of grieving that se- 
 cret guide, w hich will lead them out of evil, will 
 enable them to bring forth the fruits of righ- 
 teousness, and prepare them for a state of bless- 
 edness hereafter. The omnipresence of God 
 should, also, be strongly and practically im- 
 pressed upon the mind in early life, not only as 
 a truth peculiarly calculated to influence the con- 
 duct, but, as a continual source of consolation 
 and support in trouble and danger. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. lo3 
 
 it Is to be remembered, that religious instruc- 
 tion is not to be forced upon children ; wisdom 
 is required in eommunicating it to them, that 
 Ave may give them " food convenient" for them, 
 nourishing them, not with strong meat, but with 
 " the sincere milk of the Word, that they may 
 •grow thereby"; making the best use of the natu- 
 ral and gradual opening of their understandings : 
 and we may acknowledge, with thankfulness, 
 that there is something in the human mind which 
 answ^ers to the most simple and sacred truths; 
 the mind of man seems formed to receive the 
 idea of Him who gave it being. A premature 
 accuracy of religious knowledge is not to be de- 
 sired with children : but that the views of divine 
 truth which they receive, should be sound and 
 scriptural, and so communicated as to touch 
 the conscience. If the conscience be touched, 
 if the fear of God be excited, a fear to offend 
 hira ; a dread of sin ; there is something to 
 work upon, and a foundation is laid for advance- 
 ment in religion, as the character ripens. Bui 
 we are not to forget the general balance of 
 Scripture, or to give force to one part by over>» 
 1% 
 
134 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 looking another. Thus, in our endeavours fo 
 touch the conscience, and to excite a dread of 
 sin, we must also be careful to represent our 
 Creator as the God of love, the God of peace, 
 the Father of mercies, — to direct the attention 
 of our children to that " Lamb of God, which 
 taketh avv^ay the sin of the world ;" that the re- 
 sult of our labours may, with the divine bless- 
 ing, be an union of fear and love in the hearts 
 of our pupils : that tenderness of conscience 
 should not lead to the spirit of bondage ; nor 
 fear degenerate into religious terror, and, con- 
 sequently, superstition. 
 
 In the minds of many people, from the want 
 of this early judicious care, religion and super- 
 stition, quite unknown to themselves, have be- 
 come strangely interwoven. They surrender 
 themselves to superstitious or enthusiastic im- 
 pressions, because they do not distinguish them 
 from the voice of truth, and feelings of piety ; 
 but enhghtened religion is, in fact, in direct op- 
 position to superstition : they are as different as 
 light from darkness ; for superstition quits the 
 •solid 2;round of revealed truth, and forms concep- 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTIt)N. 12^ 
 
 lions for itself, of what the will of God may be 
 towards his creatures. But it should be our ob- 
 ject to give to children a scriptural, and there- 
 fore a reasonable and healthful view of religion; 
 to guard them against all that is erroneous and 
 morbid, and to prepare them for the reception 
 of " the spirit of power, of love, and of a sound 
 mind." 
 
 The curiosity so natural to children is not to 
 be hastily repressed, on religious subjects ; — we 
 are rather to direct than reprove it, remember- 
 ing that, within due bounds, the exercise of the 
 natural powers may be made subservient to the 
 most important ends in acquiring religious know- 
 ledge. At the same time, any tendency to a 
 critical, cavilling disposition, is to be uniformly 
 discouraged ; nor is it of small importance, that, 
 children should be guarded against the influ- 
 ence of those from whom they may imbibe such 
 a habit of mind. As their understandings im- 
 prove, they may be led to consider the infinite 
 distance between God and man, — that " He is 
 the high and lofty one that inhabiteth eternity," 
 whilst man is like " a shadow that declineth,'* 
 ^r as the grass of the field, which *• in the morn- 
 
136 HELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 ing flouiishetli and groweth up, but in the evd^ 
 ning is cut down and withereth," that we see 
 only the smallest part ol the works of God ; 
 and of that small part much is to us incompre- 
 hensible ; — but that, great as he is, his love ex- 
 tends to the meanest of his creatures j that, fop 
 man he has provided eternal happiness ; and 
 that, in the Scriptures, he has been pleased to 
 reveal all that is necessary for us to know and 
 believe, in order to attain it. That we are, 
 therefore, to approach these treasuries of heav- 
 enly knowledge, with no expectation of finding 
 every difficulty solved, or all made clear to ouf 
 weak and narrow understandings ; but, with a 
 humble and teachable disposition, for spiritual 
 food, and for spiritual hfe : knowing that " the 
 secret things belong unto the Lord our God ; 
 but those things which are revealed belong un- 
 to us and to our children for ever, that we may 
 do" them. If we attempt to explain the deep 
 mysteries of religion further than the Scripture 
 has explained them, we shall be more hkely to 
 degrade what is most sacred, and perplex the 
 mind, than to enlighten the tmderstanding, or 
 Q'levate tlie- affGctiQiis.. 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 137 
 
 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 Beside the religious instruction of children, 
 we have also to attend to the formation of reli- 
 gious habits. If these be well estabhshed in 
 early hfe, even though the heart be not always 
 engaged in them as it ought to be, yet some- 
 thing is gained. Such habits frequently be- 
 come the channels through which spiritual good 
 is conveyed — besides, whenever the vital princi- 
 ple of religion begins to operate, they render 
 the path of duty less difficuh. 
 
 Amongst the most important religious habits 
 may be ranked the daily exercises of devotion ; 
 a fixed time and plan for reading the Scriptures ; 
 a regular attendance, and serious behaviour, at 
 a place of worship ; and a practical regard to 
 the Sabbath. 
 
 Devotional Exercises. In bringing up 
 
 children to regular and stated devotional exer- 
 cises, it will also be necessary to instruct them 
 12* 
 
138 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 in the true nature of prayer ; and this may bes[ 
 be dene by examples. We may remind them, 
 that the woman of Canaan prayed, when, though 
 often rejected, she still called upon her Saviour,, 
 **Lord help me ;" — that the disciples prayed, 
 when, in the midst of the tempest, they cried, 
 " Lord save us, we perish ;" (Matt, viii.) — that- 
 the publican prayed, when he smote upon his 
 breast, saying, " God be merciful to me a sin- 
 ner ;" — that the blind man prayed, v.hen, net- 
 withstanding many discouragements, he still re- 
 peated, " Thou son of David, have mercy up* 
 on me ;" — and that these are all instances of 
 that fervent and humble prayer of the heart, 
 tvhich " avail eth much." ^' 
 
 Children may be asked, if they were hungry 
 or athirstj distressed or in danger, in what man- 
 ner they would call upon their earthly parents 
 for relief and deliverance ; and reminded, that 
 it is with the like-earnestness they should be- 
 seech their heavenly Father to pardon their 
 
 * See an excellent paper on prajer, printed bv Forbes; 
 Brighton. Eng. 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 139 
 
 Siris, to strengthen their weakness, " to deliver 
 them from evil," and to grant them "his favour, 
 which is better than hfe." Their attention 
 should be directed to the powerful and tender 
 affections of their earthly parents towards them, 
 that, from this consideration, they may be the 
 better able to comprehend the love of God, a§ 
 being infinitely greater, more tender and un- 
 changeable. They may be taught, that as God 
 heareth the ravens cry, and satisfieth the wants 
 of every living thing, much more is he ever at- 
 lentive to the feeblest desire, or tlie least sigh, 
 raised in the hearts of his children towards him : 
 that it is the prayer of the heart alone which is 
 acceptable in his sight, although a form of sound 
 words is valuable, as an assistance in raising the 
 affections and confinins; the wandering; thou2;hts. 
 But children are too often suffered to repeat 
 I heir prayers with as little reflection, and almost 
 as little reverence, as they manifest in the com- 
 mon engagements of the day. We should en- 
 deavour to bring them into a serious and tran- 
 quil state of mind before they kneel dowTi. 
 Tliey mav then be reminded of their faults with 
 
140 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 good effect ; and thus gradually accustomed td 
 unite self-examination with the duties of devo- 
 tion ; examination, not only of their outward 
 conduct, but of their motives ; a habit essential 
 to real religious advancement! 
 
 The morning and evening afford the best op- 
 portunities for devotional exercises ; and it 
 should be our earnest desire to accustom our 
 children to begin and close the day widi Him in 
 whom they "live, and move, and have their be- 
 ing ;" to accustom them " to seek first the king- 
 dom of God ;" to make it their first business, on 
 waking, to give thanks for the mercies which 
 are '^new every morning," and to seek for daily 
 strength, support and protection : that, thus, 
 when they arise, "they may still be with him ;" 
 that he may 
 
 " Guard their first springs of thought and will, 
 " And with himself their spirits fill." 
 
 In the evening, when they have prayed for 
 pardon and peace, let us endeavour to infuse the 
 spirit of that beautiful expression in the Psalms, 
 '^J will both lay me down in peace and sleep, for 
 
RELIGIOUS HABItS. 141 
 
 it is lliou, Lord, only, makest me dwell In safety.*' 
 At no time is the influence of a moilier more valu- 
 able than when her children are retiring to rest. 
 It is then, that having ceased from the business 
 and the pleasures of the day, their minds are 
 quieted, their feelings more tender, and more 
 fitted for the reception of religions impressions. 
 Happy is it if the spirit of her own heart be 
 such as to enable her to make full use of these 
 favoured moments ; to make use of them as 
 valuable opportunities for withdrawing the hearts 
 of her children " from things which are tempo- 
 ral," and of fixing deeper and more hvely im- 
 pressions of those " which are eternal." In 
 the absence of a mother, on these occasions, it 
 is the duty of an assistant, as far as possible, to 
 supply her place. When a child has repeated 
 his evening prayers, she should not allow him 
 to return to trifling conversation or common pur- 
 suits, but take him quietly to bed, and she will 
 find it beneficial and gratifying to him then, to 
 read a psalm or hymn, as the last thing before 
 slie leaves him. 
 
142 RELIGIOUS HABITS, 
 
 The prayers of children should be simple, 
 and suitable to their understandings and state 
 of mind ; we must not, however, expect that 
 they will always enter into them with the feel- 
 ing we may desire. Yet, as we are to perse-- 
 vere, through all discouragements, in the per- 
 formance of this sacred duty ourselves, must 
 we not also train up our children to it, notwith- 
 standing their great infirmities, in simple obedi- 
 ence to the express commands of God ; in hum- 
 ble rehance on his blessed promises ; and with 
 full confidence in Him who is not an ^'high priest, 
 that cannot be touched w^th the feeling of our 
 infirmities, but who ever liveth to make inter- 
 cession for us" ? and might we not hope, that 
 the prayers of our children would be less defec- 
 tive, were the spirits of those about them more 
 serious and more devotional ? 
 
 A love for the sublime and beautiful works 
 of nature should be early cultivated, not merely 
 as affording a source of pure enjoyment, but as 
 a taste, which, if properly directed, may pro- 
 mote a devotional spirit, and elevate the miad, 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 143 
 
 by raising the views through " things which are 
 seen," to Him who is invisible. 
 
 *' Happy, who walks with him ! whom what he finds, 
 Of flavour, or of scent, in fruit or flower ; 
 Or what he views of beautiful or grand 
 In nature, from the broad majestic oak 
 To rhe ^reen blade, that twinkles in the sun ; 
 Prompts with remembrance of a present God ! 
 His presence, who made all so fair, perceived. 
 Makes all still fairer." 
 
 Grace before meat. — Children should be 
 taught to receive their daily bread as from the 
 hand of God, and that excellent custom of ?race 
 before and after meat, ought, surely, to be kept 
 up in the nursery, as an open acknowledgment 
 of gratitude to the Giver of all good. 
 
 Daily study of the Scriptures. — It will 
 be of advantage if the daily portion of scriptu- 
 ral instruction can be given to children as the 
 first employment, after their morning prayers ; 
 and it is much to be desired that parents should 
 retain this part of education in their own hands ; 
 for the situation of a parent gives advantages for 
 
144 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 the performance of this duty, which are rarely 
 possessed, in an equal degree, by a tutor or 
 governess. Perhaps, the earliest scriptural les^ 
 sons are best given in conversation, assisted by 
 prints.* By this simple method, even very 
 young children, before they can read, are ca- 
 pable of understanding, and of profiting by, 
 many parts of sacred history. A reference to 
 Wallis's map of Canaan, with httle figures, and, 
 when children are old enough, to Burder's Ori- 
 ental Customs, or Calmet's Dictionary, will add 
 to the interest of the historical parts of the Bi- 
 ble, and will contribute to render the Scripture 
 lesson amusing as well as instructive. 
 
 The Saebath. — As the common business 
 
 * It is related in the life of Dr. Doddridge, prefixed to his 
 Works, that " his parents brought him up in the early know- 
 ledge of religion. Before he could read, his id other taught 
 him the history of the Old and New Testament, by the a«eist- 
 ance of some Dutch tiles in the chimney of the room where 
 they uj^uflllv sat ; and accompanied her instruc'ions v i^h '^nch 
 wise and pious reflections, as made strong and lasting impres- 
 sions upon his heart."- 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 145 
 
 of life is to be laid aside on the Sunday, so the 
 engagements of this day should be wholly of a 
 different character from those of the week ; and 
 if a practical regard to the Sabbath be early es- 
 tabhshed, and its employments, which may so 
 easily be done, are rendered attractive and in- 
 teresting, children will enter upon them from 
 choice, and neither expect, nor wish for any 
 others. 
 
 The study of the Scriptures may be agreea- 
 ably diversified, either by looking out, with the 
 assistance of marginal references and a concor- 
 dance, the various texts on one particular sub- 
 ject, as, on prayer — almsgiving — duty to parents, 
 &c. ; or by tracing the chain of prophecy re- 
 lating to the Messiah, with corresponding passa- 
 ges in the New Testament ; by studying the 
 types which beautifully illustrate his character 
 and offices — as the paschal lamb — the brazen 
 serpent — the scape goat, iSic. or by reading, with 
 a particular reference to the lives and charac- 
 ters of eminent individuals — as of Abraham, Jo- 
 seph, Moses, David, Sic. The Liturgy, as w^ell 
 as the Catechism, will also afford an excellent 
 13 
 
146 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 groimd-vvork for scriptural research ; and there 
 is no doubt but that the services of the Church 
 inigh.t be rendered more beneficial to children, 
 if previously explained to them, and illustrated 
 by those passages in the Bible from which they 
 are derived. Nor is it necessary that children 
 be confined, on the Sunday, to studying the 
 Scriptures, Catechisms, &lc. ; — there are ma^ 
 ny books suitable to the day, which will afford 
 an agreeable and useful variety, and which, if 
 laid aside in the w^eek, will be read with the 
 greater pleasure. Hymns, or a portion of 
 Scripture,'^ may also be committed to me- 
 mory ; but care will be required that these 
 be neither learnt as a common task, nor 
 repeated in a hasty or irreverent manner. 
 When children write with some facility, 
 they W'ill derive pleasure from copying out 
 liymns ; select passages from the Bible ; or 
 ihe texts they have looked for, on particular 
 subjects, in a book, kept for the purpose. — 
 
 * See Mr. Babington's excellent remarks on this subject : 
 Practical Essay, page 94, &c. 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 147 
 
 They may, besides, be formed into a class, and 
 questioned, on Sunday, in their Scriptural know- 
 ledge ; and it will add to the interest, if the 
 children of more than one family can be united 
 in this exercise. 
 
 When old enough, they may be permitted to 
 share in the labours of a Sunday school, or 
 make choice of a poor child as a private scholar. 
 Such objects are valuable, as affording suitable 
 occupation for the Sunday ; but still more so, 
 as having the tendency to foster a spirit of ac- 
 tive benevolence ; and a disposition to promote 
 the interests of others. 
 
 The engagements to which we have referred, 
 with an attendance on public worship, and ne- 
 cessary recreation and exercise, will fill up the 
 Sunday usefully and agreeably. If we enter 
 into the full meaning of these expressions — 
 *' shall call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of 
 the Lord, honourable,"^ we shall be persuad- 
 ed, that it is not sufficient to enforce a strict re- 
 
 Isaiah, Iviii. 13, 
 
148 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 gard to the Sabbath as a law ; but that we 
 should also endeavour to infuse a love for the 
 day, as one of peculiar privileges ; and parents 
 may promote this feeling, by keeping in view 
 that it is to be a time of rest, as well as of 
 religious duty, by devoting themselves more 
 than ordinarily to their children ; and by ren- 
 dering the Sunday the season for the best kind 
 of domestic enjoyment. 
 
 Public Worship. — Silence, self-subjection, 
 and a serious deportment, both in * family and 
 pubHc worship, ought to be strictly enforced in 
 early life ; and it is better that children should 
 
 * It may not be irrelevant to the subject before us to ob- 
 serve, not only the value of family worship for the sake of 
 our children, but also the importance of conducting it so as 
 to render it to them a profitable and attractive service. " Let 
 them find it short, savoury, simple, plain, tender, heavenly. 
 Worship thus conducted is an engine of vast power in a fami- 
 ly. Family religion is of unspeakable importance ; the 
 spirit and tone of your house, the bye conversations in your 
 family, wnll have great influence on your children." — CeciVs 
 Remains 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 149 
 
 not attend, till they are capable-of behaving in a 
 proper manner. But a practical respect for 
 the Sabbath, and for the services of rehgion, is 
 but an effect of that reverence for evei-y thing 
 sacred, which, it is of primary importance early 
 to establish, as a habit of mind. No subject 
 connected with religion ought to be treated 
 lightly in the presence of children. If, for ex- 
 ample, we think that we may employ the words 
 of Scripture in a jocose or trifling manner, that 
 we may make slighting remarks on the sermon 
 of the day ; that we may ridicule the voice and 
 manner of the preacher ; that we may speak 
 contemptuously of others, because their reli- 
 gious principles or habits differ from our own, 
 without injury to ourselves ; at least we are in 
 danger of leading our children to view religion 
 through a critical and satirical medium ; and 
 thus to throw in their way one of the greatest 
 hindrances to rehgious advancement. To take 
 the name of God in vain, (as, by using it in 
 common conversation, or on every emotion of 
 fear and surprise,) is an offence so glaring, that 
 a warning against it might be unnecessary, were 
 13^ 
 
150 RELIGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 it not that some, even well-meaning people, al- 
 most unknown to themselves, are apt to fall in- 
 to it, from the effect of example, and early 
 habit. Such an use of the Divine name, is not 
 only to be most seriously prohibited ; but those 
 exclamations, which, in fact, convey nearly the 
 same meaning ; as, Mercy ! Bless me ! Good 
 Heavens ! Good gracious ! he. 
 
 Firmness, and, sometimes, resolution and au- 
 thority, may be required in the first estabhsh- 
 ment of rehgious habits; and, as far as it is ne- 
 cessary, they should be exercised ; but never 
 in such a manner as to render the most sacred 
 duties a galling and burthensome yoke. An 
 excess of strictness is injurious in the general 
 management of children ; but is especially to be 
 avoided in their religious education. If, in that, 
 we drav/ the line too tight, we may not only ex- 
 cite a distaste for what is good ; but induce con- 
 cealment and hypocrisy. In religion, more 
 than in any other object, it is of the first impor- 
 tance to gain over the affections ; to draw the 
 hearts of our children by the cords of love ; that 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 151 
 
 they may know, and feel for ihemselves, that 
 " her ways are ways of pleasantness ;" and that 
 " all her paths are peace :" — 
 
 " JSTor know we any thing so fair. 
 As is the smile upon her face." * 
 
 Care must be taken not to press too closehj 
 upon children such non-essential points as form 
 the distinguishing peculiarities of the various 
 sects of Christians. It is a question worthy of 
 much serious consideration, whether such. points 
 are of a nature to be imposed as a law upon 
 those who are placed under our authority ; and 
 whether, in doing this, there may not be a dan- 
 ger of " teaching for doctrines the command- 
 ments of men," and of fettering the conscience, 
 by false associations of right and wrong ^ We 
 are more likely to prepare our children for the 
 reception of truth, if secondary distinctions are 
 not brought into prominent view, and if our ef- 
 forts are directed to the great object of leading 
 
 * Wordsvrorth's Ode to Duty. 
 
152 PtELlGIOUS HABITS. 
 
 them to that knowledge of God, and of his son 
 Jesus Christ, which alone is life eternal.* 
 
 If children live under a religious influence, 
 some vigilance will be required, lest they should 
 assume a seriousness which is not real. Eve- 
 ry tiling unnatural, every thing bordering on 
 hypocrisy, is to be most carefully checked ; 
 and that divine test deeply impressed on their 
 hearts, as on our own ; " if ye love me, keep 
 my commandments." We must not, therefore, 
 force either the feelings or expression ; satisfied 
 that, if the true principles of Christianity have 
 taken possession of the heart, it wull, necessari- 
 ly, manifest itself in something better than in 
 words or profession. 
 
 Children must, besides, be guarded against 
 placing too much dependence upon external 
 observances. We are to bring them up with a 
 reverence and a value for the ordinances of re- 
 hgion ; and to accustom them to a diligent and 
 persevering attendance upon them, as a sacred 
 
 * John xvii. 3. 
 
RELIGIOUS HABITS. 153 
 
 and important duty, to wliicb secondary objects 
 oui^ht always to yield. But, at the same time, 
 they will be able to understand that these ordi- 
 nances, of themselves, are wholly insufficient ; 
 that he is a Christian " who is one inwardly ;" 
 and that our real character is determined, not by 
 that which we may appear before men, but by 
 that which we are in his sight, who " looketb 
 on the heart." 
 
154 CONCLUSION, 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 In concluding this little Work, the Author 
 Would, once again, remind all who are engaged 
 in the care of children, that much patience and 
 much perseverance will be required in the fulfil- 
 ment of their duties towards them ; and that 
 they may hope to succeed, " not so much by 
 the vehemence, as by the constancy of their ex- 
 ertions." We must not expect to witness the 
 immediate fruit of our labour. The husband- 
 man scatters his seed, " and hath long patience 
 for it ;" and we are commanded, " in the morn- 
 ing to sow the seed ; and in the evening to with- 
 hold not our hands, for we know not whether 
 shall prosper.""^ To those who are conscien- 
 tiously employed in the business of education, 
 there is the most solid ground for encourage- 
 ment ; and it is of no small importance that 
 
 Eccles. xi. 6. 
 
CONCLUSION. 155 
 
 llicy should cherish a hopeful and cheerful tem- 
 per of mind. This will not only increase the 
 vigour of their efforts, but greatly add to the 
 probability of success. 
 
 Let us ever bear in mind the extensive bencr 
 fit which may resuh from our bringing one child 
 to ciioose and " hold fast that which is good." 
 Have we not reason to hope that it will be a 
 blessing, not only to himself, but to his children, 
 and his children's children ? Does not the re- 
 sult of universal experience, do not the records 
 of history and biography, in addition to the ex- 
 press commands of Scripture, afford abundant 
 encouragement for females diligently to exer- 
 cise their powers in the education of children — 
 powers which appear peculiarly given to fit 
 them for the performance of this important du- 
 ty ? How many eminent, how many excellent 
 men have attributed their most valuable attain- 
 ments to the impressions made en tlieir minds, 
 by the early care of female relatives, and more 
 especially by that of Mothers ! * 
 
 * Amongst the numerous instances which might be brought 
 forward to illustrate the powerful influence of Mothers, and 
 
156 CONCLUSION. 
 
 A Mother, providentially possesses advanta- 
 ges for obtaining over lier children an influence, 
 Avhich may be as powerful and durable, as it is 
 mild and attractive ; an influence, which may 
 prove to them a guide and defence through the 
 temptations and difficulties of life, when she her- 
 self, has escaped from thenvall ; and which, if 
 it do not fully accomplish the good she desires, 
 will yet " hang on the wheels of evil." It may 
 confidentially be believed, though she may have 
 to wait " many days," that her conscientious en- 
 deavours will return in blessings upon herself, and 
 upon her children ; and that the fruits, whether 
 earlier or later, will abundantly prove, " that 
 her labour has not been in vain in the Lord." 
 
 the strength of early impressions, the reader is referred 1o the 
 life of St. Augustine, in Milner's Church History.— In Word- 
 worth's Ecclesiastical Biography, to the lives of Bishop Hail, 
 Hooker, Herbert, and Philip Henry. Aho, to Lord Teign- 
 mouth's Life of Sir W. Jones ; to the Life of the Reverend 
 •Tohn Newton, written by himself ; and to that of the Rever- 
 end R. Cecil, prefixed to his V^'orks; nor should we forget 
 the example of Timothy, who, " from a child, had known the 
 the Holy Scriptures," inheriting " that unfeigned faith which 
 had dwelt first in his grandmother Lois and his mother 
 Eunice." 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 MOTIVES THAT SHOULD INFLUENCE 
 THE CONDUCT OF A NURSE. 
 
 We are taught in the Scriptures (Coloss. iii. 
 23) that " whatever we do, we are to do it 
 heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men ;" 
 that " the eyes of the Lord are in every place, 
 beholding the evil and the good," (Prov. xv. 3) 
 and that " he will bring every work into judg- 
 ment, with every secret thing, whether it be 
 good, or whether it be evil ;" (Eccles. xii. 14). 
 
 A real faith in these fundamental truths, a 
 practical sense of the immediate presence of 
 God, and of the unspeakable importance of our 
 duty to him, alone can fit us to adorn the sta- 
 tion in which we are placed, or enable us to 
 render, at the last, a good account of our stew- 
 ardship. Every other motive is variable, and 
 comparatively weak ; whether it be the desire of 
 14 
 
15S APPENDIX. 
 
 reputation and esteem, a sense of self-interest, 
 or the dictates of natural affection. These may 
 render us respectable in our outward conduct ; 
 they may produce some temporary good effects ; 
 but the foundation is wanting : the root is de- 
 fective, and so will be the fruit. Religion alone 
 can supply a principle unchanging and unceas- 
 ing ; a principle, which, depending not on the 
 approbation of man, influences as powerfully in 
 his absence as in his presence : a principle that 
 enables us still to go forward in the race set be- 
 fore us ; " not weary in well-doing," but, for 
 duty's sake, bearing trials and discouragements; 
 surmounting difficulties, and overcoming temp- 
 tations. When treating of the obligations be- 
 longing to any station, it is to this principle they 
 must be referred ; and, in bringing forward the 
 particular duties of a nurse, this it is which 
 should be strongly enforced, as the original 
 source whence they must spring, and without 
 which, a nurse will do very little, permanently, 
 for the best interests either of children or of 
 parents. The standard of Scripture concern- 
 ing the duties of servants (as expressed in Eph. 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 159 
 
 vi. 5, &LC.— Colos. iii. 22, Sic— 1 Peter, ii. 18, 
 &ic.) must be her rule of conduct. 
 
 In undertaking the charge of a nursery, al- 
 though such a situation affords pecuHar privile- 
 ges, and peculiar satisfaction ; she will meet 
 with difficulties in the discharge of her duty ; — 
 much to exercise her patience ; — many an anx- 
 ious hour ; — many broken nights, and weari- 
 some days. And will she not continually ex- 
 perience the need of a higher motiv^e than mevo 
 natural affection, or regard to worldly interest, 
 to enable her to act with unvarying integrity to- 
 wards the parents, and with an uniformly right 
 disposition towards the children, — such a dispo- 
 sition as will lead to a constant forbearance 
 -^vith them under their httle changes of temper 
 and behavioiu" ; and, on all occasions, in sick- 
 ness or health, by day or by night, to the con- 
 sideration of their real interest, rather than of 
 any self-gratification ? 
 
 Dihgent attention to the bodily safety and 
 health of children, is a duty of no small impor- 
 tance. In this, a well principled nurse will con- 
 sider herself peculiarly responsible, and will feel- 
 
ICO APPENDIX. 
 
 that she cannot be too watchful or assiduous : 
 but she will, at the same time, raise her views 
 still higher ; bearing in mind, that she is also 
 required, in dependence on the Divine aid, to 
 do all that is placed in her power, to assist in 
 training up those under her care for everlasting 
 happiness. She will best promote so invalua- 
 ble an object by keeping her own heart with all 
 diligence, by her example more than by pre- 
 cept and advice ; for " children better under- 
 stand Vv'hat they see and feel, than the rules and 
 reproofs Avhich they hear." In this view of the 
 subject, how highly important is the office of a 
 nurse ! Little aware of it, perhaps, herself, 
 she is continually acting upon " the first springs 
 of character ;" her children are hourly imbib- 
 ing the spirit that pervades her own mind. 
 Much, therefore, necessarily depends upon her, 
 but should this render her high-minded or self- 
 important ^ Has she not cause rather to suspect 
 lierself and to fear always ? Knowing that in 
 proportion as her means of usefulness are great; 
 so also is her reponsibility — so will be her cri- 
 minalitv, if slie nealect or abuse the talents com- 
 
APPENDIX. 161 
 
 mitted to her ; and should not this considera- 
 tion produce a desire to be instructed herself, 
 and a humble deportment toward her superiors? 
 Many valuable nurses are, in this point, emi- 
 nently deficient ; and their good qualities tar- 
 nished by a self-importance, and adherence to 
 their own opinions, manifested even towards the 
 Mother and her friends. Such a temper of 
 mind, by inspiring the servant with undue confi- 
 dence in her own judgment, independent of that 
 of her mistress, is very unfavourable to the fixed 
 determination which should actuate every nurse ; 
 to execute, as far as possible, the Vvill of a Mother 
 towards her children, when out of her sight; and 
 to be exactly the same to them in her absence as in 
 her presence. This is a law of primary and es- 
 sential importance ; a directing principle for 
 the management of a nursery. If a nurse, on 
 the unexpected appearance of her mistress, ex- 
 perience a secret awkwardness — if slie involun- 
 tarily change her manner or tone of voice — let 
 her carefully examine if all is quite right, and 
 set a stricter watch upon herself; let her in- 
 quire if she may not be blindly adopting wrong 
 14" 
 
162 
 
 APPENDIX. 
 
 habits, because they are the common practice, 
 and regulating her own conduct by the low 
 standard of others. 
 
 *' It is required in stewards that a man be 
 found faithful." True fidehty regards not on- 
 ly the property of employers, but the time, the 
 care, which are due to them ; and such are the 
 duties of a nurse, that they will not be faithful- 
 ly performed, unless her heart be interested in 
 their discharge. A servant who considers them 
 a task, from which she is ever glad to be freed, 
 in order to pursue other objects, is wholly unfit 
 for her station. A conscientious nurse, there- 
 fore, will be cautious lest her own interests, 
 pleasures, or even her sorrow^s, should so ab- 
 sorb the mind as to interfere with the perform- 
 ance of positive duties towards those committed 
 to her care. Their welfare will be ever kept 
 in view. She will be always unwilling to leave 
 them, for any concern of her own, without the 
 express consent of her mistress ; and will never 
 quit the nursery, if her mistress be out, for oc- 
 casions on which this w^ould not be allowed. 
 Iiad she been at home. Such a nurse is not a 
 
APPENDIX. 163 
 
 lover of pleasure, but sober-inindcd, careful and 
 discreet. In lier walks with the children, she 
 will never carry them to any place or house 
 which she is not sure would be approved by her 
 mistress ; she will avoid uniting with other ser- 
 vants and children ; and, at all times, will be 
 cautious of entering into conversation with stran- 
 gers ; she will admit no visitors into the nurse- 
 ry, wliom she would not wish her mistress to 
 see there. Whhout her advice, she will be re- 
 luctant to give any medicine to the children, 
 except in cases of absolute necessity ; and 
 would be shocked at the idea of administering 
 a quieting draught, for the sake of her own 
 ease (an offence, which, it is painful to ac- 
 knowledge, has been too often committed) at 
 the hazard of a dear child's safety ! Nor will 
 she attempt to soothe his fretfulness by bestow- 
 ing upon him sweets or other indulgencies, which 
 might be injurious to his health. If her nights 
 are disturbed by his restlessness, she will be- 
 tray no temper or discontent tow^ards her mis- 
 tress, or yield to the least impatience towards 
 the child. She will consider it her absolute 
 
164 APPENDIX. 
 
 duty to be equally diligent and affectionate in 
 her attentions to him, however painful may be 
 the effort of rousing herself when w^eary, and in 
 want of rest. It is melancholy to consider how 
 many young children have fallen a sacrifice to 
 the drowsiness and carelessness of their attend- 
 ants ; and, perhaps, no part of the business of 
 a nurse calls for a greater exercise of good 
 principle and self-denial, of tenderness and vigi- 
 lance, than the care of a httle infant by night. 
 
 The preceding examples are brought for- 
 ward as instances of religious integrity ; the 
 necessary result of those principles which have 
 before been stated as the foundation of all our 
 relative duties. 
 
 Many nurses acting thus, are ornaments to so- 
 ciety, and treasures to their employers; but that 
 a number are influenced by motives far inferior, 
 we have too much proof, not only in our nurse- 
 ries, but also in the streets and public walks. 
 Do not the showy dress ; the flippant, vain, and 
 flirting air ; the manner evidently designed to at- 
 tract notice ; the attention occupied with self; 
 the difference of demeanour in the presence and 
 
APPENDIX. 165 
 
 absence of the mother ; the rough handling, and 
 hasty words dispensed to their httle ones upon 
 every shgiit oiTence : does not such a deport- 
 ment bespeak a mind unprepared for the impor- 
 tant duties of a nurse, and looking little higher 
 than to self-intesest or pecuniary recompence ? 
 It is not intended to imply, that such servants 
 are devoid of natural affection to the objects of 
 their care, or that they would not be shocked at 
 the idea of doing them an injury ; but that nat- 
 ural affection alone will be found wholly insuffi- 
 cient ; and, when undirected by principle and 
 judgment, will not exempt, even the fondest 
 nurse, from that selfishness, thoughtlessness, 
 and ill-temper, so highly injurious to children. 
 The mere impulse of nature will never produce 
 a character essentially valuable and useful. — 
 This must be the result of religion, of self- 
 denial, diligence and patience. Can any stim- 
 ulus to such conscientious efforts, in the faith- 
 ful discharge of our duties to children, be 
 greater, than to observe, on every hand, indi- 
 viduals suffering through hfe, either in mind or 
 body, from the want of judgment, the defec- 
 
166 APPENDIX, 
 
 live principle, or the carelessness of those wh© 
 have brought them up ? Such examples suffi- 
 ciently prove, that the well-being and happi- 
 ness of children are permitted to be, in a great 
 measure, dependent upon the conduct of those 
 under whose care they are placed. Shall we 
 not, therefore, be called to account for the use 
 we have made of the power which is thus given 
 us over others f And do we not need, to di- 
 rect us in the exercise of it, that wisdom from 
 above, which is first " pure, then peaceable, 
 gende, and easy to be entreated ; full of mer- 
 cy and good fruits, without partiality, and with- 
 out hypocrisy ?" Should w^e not also find it 
 highly beneficial, to keep In view, as a guide to 
 our ignorance, the manner in which we our- 
 selves are dealt with by our heav^enly Father ? 
 to bear In mind that the children entrusted to 
 us are not born under the rigours of the law, 
 but under the merciful and fatherly discipline 
 of the Gospel ? He who set us an example 
 that we should follow his steps, took the infants 
 in his arms, and blessed them, saying, " Suf- 
 fer the little children to come unto me, and for- 
 
APPENDIX. 1G7 
 
 bid them not, for of such Is the kingdom of 
 heaven ;" (Mark x.) " He gathereih the lambs 
 with his arm, and carrieth them in his bosom." 
 (Isa. xl. 11.) May not these beautiful passa- 
 ges be applied to the subject before us as pa- 
 thetically describing the love, the care, the 
 compassion and tenderness required of us, and 
 so greatly needed by the helplessness, the de- 
 pendence, the infirmities, and wrong tempers of 
 childhood ? 
 
 It is not impossible, that some who are en- 
 gaged in the care of children, may be discour- 
 aged by what has here been insisted upon. 
 They may be tempted to say, " If these be the 
 duties incumbent upon us, how can we be suf- 
 ficient for them ?" Let such, however, remem- 
 ber that nothing unreasonable is required of 
 them ; that they will have to render an account 
 only in proportion to the talents committed to 
 their trust. It is, also, encouraging to observe 
 how often characters of small powers, under 
 good regulation, are rendered instruments of 
 great, though inconspicuous usefulness. A 
 young woman, inexperienced, and of moderate 
 
168 APPENDIX. 
 
 talents, may undertake a situation in a nursery ; 
 but, if she bring with her the foundation of re- 
 ligious principle ; a heart given up to her em- 
 ployment ; a sense of her own deficiency ; and 
 a wish to improve ; there is every reason to ex- 
 pect, that under good instruction, she will be- 
 come, a valuable servant. 
 
 We must all, indeed^ in every situation, be 
 prepared to fall short of that to which we desire 
 to attain ; but we are not to lower the standard 
 of true excellence to our own imperfection. — 
 Rather should we, notwithstanding every dis- 
 couragement, be constantly '' pressing toward 
 the mark set before us ;" bearing in mind a just 
 sense of the duties required of us, and perform- 
 ing them to the utmost of our ability. Then — 
 whether this ability be less or greater — we have 
 every reason to hope, that a blessing will attend 
 our endeavours ; for no uncommon powers, no 
 extraordinary efforts, no new systems, are need- 
 ed in the management of children ; but the dili- 
 gent, patient, persevering exercise of good prin- 
 ciple, good temper, and ordinary good sense. 
 
 THE END.