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 O,^ 
 
eat Britain c 
 
 ,.xi(ENCHB ACTING fex/muiN im 
 
 PR 6003 
 .R38 S4 
 1911 
 Copy 1 
 
 .caring off of Teddy Dawson 
 
 (HAROLD BRIGHOUSE.) 
 
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THE SCARING OFP^ OF 
 TEDDY DAWSON 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF 
 TEDDY DAWSON 
 
 A COMEDY IN ONE 
 ACT 
 
 By 
 HAROLD BRIGHOUSE 
 
 Copyright, 191 i. bv Samuel French, Ljit/riTED 
 
 New York , London 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH ! SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd 
 
 Publisher 26 Southampton Street 
 
 ■30 WEST 38TH STREET S IRANi) 
 
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 ©CI.D 1^3816 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY 
 DAWSON 
 
 Produced on April 7, 191 1, at the Dalston Theatre, London, 
 with the following cast of characters : — 
 
 Andrew Bettesworth (a Navvy) 
 Polly Bettesworth (his Wife) 
 Liza Bettesworth (his Daughter) 
 Teddy Dawson (her Lover) 
 
 The Scene is the interior of a small East End house. 
 
1 
 
 Aii iippiications respecting the peiiorniance of this 
 yhiy- — both by professional and amateur companies — 
 n list be addressed to the sole agents : — 
 
 M*;ssR*i. SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd.. 
 
 26, SOUTPIAMPTON vStREET, 
 
 Strand, London. 
 01" their authorized representatives. 
 
 The fee of fiiteen shillings for each and every ama- 
 teur representation must be paid prior to perform- 
 ances and a written autiiority obtained for the 
 production of the play. 
 
 Any costumes or wigs required in the performance 
 of " The Scaring Off of Teddy Dawson," may be 
 hired or purchased reasonably from Messrs. Chas. H. 
 Fox, Ltd., 27, Wellington Street, Strand. London. 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY 
 DAWSON ';i: ' 
 
 Living room of a small house in an East End side- street. 
 Door direct to street hack centre. Next it, ivindow. 
 Door to house l. Kitchen range r. Dres^ser with 
 crockery l. Centre is a table. Four deal chairs. 
 At the table Polly Bettesworth is ironing as the 
 curtain rises. She is no more than fifty, but a hard 
 life has aged her in appearance beyond her years. A 
 cheap serge skirt and a dark printed blouse,' ivith 
 elastic-sided boots, form her visible attire., Her 
 hMsband (Andrew) throws open the door c. and 
 enters rapidly from street. He is a noivvy, dressed in 
 corduroy, with a leather belt, and is in J:is shirt 
 sleeves, having been to ike nearest public for the 
 Slipper beer, which is in a large fug in his ■ hand 
 He is a large man, and Polly seems small by con- 
 start. It is evening, but still light. 
 
 Andrew [angrily). Where's our Liza ? 
 
 Polly. What do yer want 'er for ? 
 
 Andrew (closing door). Vm goin' to tan 'er 'ide 
 for 'er. 
 
 Polly. What's to do ? (Calmly continuing iron- 
 ing.) 
 
 Andrew (crossing to door l.). I'll put beer in back 
 to keep cool an' then I'll tell yer. (Opens left door, 
 leaves jug inside and closes door again.) Now. do yer 
 know wot I've bin 'earing in the Bluebell abart our 
 Liza ? 
 
 Polly. Tell me. 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 
 
 m 
 
 Andrew. Liza's started courtin' ! Tliat's wot 
 that whistlin's "bin as we've bin 'earing so much 
 lately. 
 
 Polly {stopping ironing). Courtin' ! At 'cr age ? 
 
 Andrew. It's Gawd's truth. Wait while I catch 
 the bloke wot's after 'er. I'll skin 'im alive. 
 
 Polly (sitting). Liza courtin' ! I don't know wot 
 things is comin' to nowadays. Young girls are 
 gettin' a set of forward hussies that haven't hardly 
 laid by their skipping-ropes afore they're thinkin' 
 they're ould enough to get wed. I fancied we'd 
 brought 'er up different to that. 
 
 Andrew. I'll fanc}^ 'er — 'er an' 'er fancy man, an' 
 all. I'll teach 'im to come round 'ere whistling for 
 our Liza. We ain't partin' with Liza yet. She's the 
 only 'un left to us now. 
 
 Polly. Yus. T'other girls went off a sight too 
 young. Fust Martha an' then Sally must be havin' 
 their blokes an' gettin' wed. But I didn't think it of 
 Liza. She's kept 'er mouth shut. Them quiet 'uns 
 are always deep. 
 
 Andrew\ Nature 'uU 'ave its ws-y with 'em so 
 what you do. (Fiercely.) But I'll spoil this chap's 
 little game. I don't like 'im, not arf like 'im I don't. 
 
 Polly. Who is 'e ? 
 
 Andrew. Teddy Dawson's 'is name. 
 
 Polly (risi^ig). Teddy Dawson ! Wild as they 
 make 'em that chap is. 'E's after no good with Liza . 
 
 Andrew. I'll mar 'is good looks if I catch 'im. 
 'E'll not be so keen On comin' an' whistlin' at street 
 corner like a canary in a fit. And I'll give Liza the 
 taste of my strap an' all. 
 
 Polly (firmly). Yer'll not touch tlie girl, Andrew. 
 
 Andrew. Who won't ? 
 
 Polly. I'll give 'er a piece of my mind. 
 
 Andrew. An' I'll give 'er a piece of my belt. 
 
 Polly. Yer won't. Me an' yer didn't arsk our 
 old 'uns for leave to start courtin'. Liza ull go the 
 way o' all flesh when 'er time comes. 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON, " 9 
 
 Andrew. Yus, but 'er time ain't come yet, not by 
 a bloomin' long chalk, an' I'll make 'er know it. 
 
 Polly. Yer leave Liza to me. Yer can do wot 
 yer loike with Teddy Dawson an' welcome. 
 
 Andrew. I'll make 'im wish 'e'd never bin born. 
 
 Polly. I dunno. Yer've tried that road twice — 
 with Martha's man an' .Sally's. 
 
 Andrew (reminiscently, gloating). I did an' all. 
 They didn't 'ave much of a larky toime courtin'. I 
 put strap abart both of 'em more than once. 
 
 Polly. An' they only came the more. 
 
 Andrew. Yus. Tliey was spunky fellows. This 
 bloke 'uU not take it that way. 'E'll cut an' run. 
 
 Polly. I'm not so sure it's the right road to 
 scare 'em off. 
 
 Andrew. It's the only rocad I knows of. Do yer 
 think yer knows a better ? 
 
 Polly. I dunno as I do. Hush ! There's Liza 
 comin' downstairs. Now, keep yer mouth shut till 
 I've had my say. 
 
 [Enter l. Liza, a girl of sixteen, with black alpaca 
 skirt to her ankles, gaudy stockings, cheap " flash " 
 shoes, a purple blouse and a hat with coster feathers.) 
 
 Polly. My word, Liza, yer do make yerself smart 
 for evenin's. Yer might be courtin' the way yer've 
 decked yerself. 
 
 Liza. There's no 'arm in puttin' on a bit of finery, 
 is there, mother ? If yer've got things, yer might as 
 well show 'em. Don't do 'em no good to lie by in a 
 drawer. 
 
 Polly. Be careful, girl. Yer'll 'ave some fellow 
 takin' a fancy to yer if yer go down the Mile End Road 
 in that gear. Foine feathers don't make foine birds. 
 (Liza tosses her head.) 
 
 Andrew. Birds ! Yus. Puts me in moind of 
 that crazed canary wot comes rahnd the 'ouse whist- 
 lin' of an evenin'. (A whistle pipes a little tune at 
 
10 THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 
 
 back.) Rot it ! There's the darned thing now. 
 (Unbuckling bell.) I'll make 'im whistle if I catch 
 'iin. (Liza runs to door c. to slop his way.) Now 
 then, Liza, out of my wa}' if yer don't want a taste of 
 this yerself. (Si^^ings strap round.) 'Ere, if yer've 
 nothin' ter do in the 'ouse get orf to bed. Yer'Il not 
 go out this night. (Exit swinging strap. Liza sits 
 with her handkerchief to her eyes.) 
 
 Polly (softly). Wot's to do with yer, Liza ? 
 Liza. Oh, 'e'll 'urt 'im. 
 Polly. 'Urt who ? Is any one there ? 
 Polly. I — I don't know. 
 
 , Polly (roughly). Yus yer do, yer young deceiver. 
 Yer think yer've got a feller — yer that's just abart 
 goin' into long skirts. I dunno w4iat the w^orld's 
 comin' to. Young girls is that forward. 
 Liza (rising). Will father 'urt 'im ? 
 Polly (grimly). Depends which on 'em's the 
 better man. 
 
 Liza (tearfully). Oh ! 
 
 Polly (kindly) . I dunno that 'e'll do 'im much 'urt . 
 'E only means to frighten 'im orf comin' rahnd tryin; 
 to court a girl that's too young to know w'ot marryin' 
 means. Yer silly girl ! Toime 'ull com.e soon enough. 
 'Ere, dry yer eyes an' come to yer mother. When 
 proper time comes, yer '11 not foind us backward at 
 lettin' yer go. It's not come yet by years. Yer taken 
 by 'is looks an' 'is bold ways. It ain't looks as make 
 a man. This 'un's one of them sort as bring woe to 
 a girl wot's fool enough to wed 'em. 'E's your fust, 
 but yer not 'is fust, not by many a one. 
 Liza (indignantly). 'E says 1 am. 
 Polly. Hark to that now^ Creditin' anytliing a 
 feller tells yer wlien 'e's lurin' yer to 'is arms. (The 
 whistle pipes l. Liza hears it and jerks up her head. 
 Polly fails to notice it.) Eh., not that I blame yer so 
 muc]', yer too young to know different. P'raps yer'd 
 best go to yer bed, as yer father said, an' 'ave yer cry 
 out. ' Yer']] Ix^ better in the mornin'. 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 1 1 
 
 Liza i(witk a quick look off L. in the direction of ihc, 
 whistling). All right, mother. (She reaches ike door; 
 losses her head defiantly and exit l. Polly gct:^ some 
 matches and is about to light the gas when Andrew 
 opens the door c. and returns buckling on his belt. 
 It is growing' gradually darker, ' PbLLY puts the' match 
 box down unused.) 
 
 Polly. Well, 'ave yer trounced 'im ? 
 
 Andrew: No. ' 'E dodg-ed me some'ow an I 'card 
 is darned whistle goin' impudent afterward J 
 'reckon 'e wants to get 'er out. but I'll watch 'im at 
 it. 
 
 Polly. Liza's goni to bed to 'ave 'er cry out. 
 She'll get over it by mornin'. Young 'uns don't take 
 love bad. (V/histle sounds off l.) 
 
 Andrew {moving to door c). Darn 'im for a piece 
 of brassen im.pudence ! If*I don't break an' spoil 'is 
 whistle for 'im, my name's not Andrew Bettesworth. 
 I'll raise a lump on 'is thick 'ead big enough for 'im' 
 to 'ang 'is 'at on. 
 
 Polly (draining Iiim with her fiand on fiis arm). 
 I'm not so sure, Andrew. I've bin thinkin' as that's 
 not right road o' dealin' with 'im. 
 
 x\ndrew. Right or wrong, 'e'll feel the weight of 
 my belt with my arm behind it wlien I catch 'ira. 
 
 Polly. I'll tell yer wot I'm thinkin. Yer leathered 
 the fellers wot cam.e after Martha an' Sally, but it, 
 didn't choke 'em orf. Made 'em all the keener.' 
 Made 'cm think the girls was jewels, or yer'd not make 
 so much fuss abart lettin' go of 'em. Let this feller 
 think the girl's a wrong 'un an' 'e'll cool orf quick 
 enough. 
 
 Andrew\ Well, so they arc je^vels, an' Liza's the 
 best of the bunch. 
 
 Polly. Yus, o' course she is, but you don't neeri 
 to let 'im know it. Make 'im think yer'd be glad to 
 ^Qt sliut of 'er. Then 'e'll start thinkin' there's some- 
 thin' wrong abart the girl an' leave er' alone. 
 
 Andrew, [shaking her off). Garn, that's all 
 
12 THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 
 
 woman's bunkum. It takes a man to d al with a 
 job like this 'ere. Wot 'e wants is a thick ear an' 
 I'll. stick it out till I catch 'im an' give it 'im an all. 
 {Unbuckling his belt and going out centre. Polly 
 removes her ironing from table. Suddenly she assumes a 
 listenin attitude, then tiptoes to the door L. and opens it 
 quieily. Tebdy and Liza, are standing just outside it. 'He 
 has his arm round her waist. He is a good looking young 
 man, short, dark, clean-shaven in a shoddy suit with 
 muffler round his neck.) 
 
 Teddy. I love yer so I could eat yer. 
 Polly. Yer'd 'ave a foine belly ache, an all, if 
 'er flesh were as sour as 'er temper. (Teddy stands 
 amazed, then begins to move away.) Yer'd never run 
 from a wom.an, would yer ? (Teddy stops.) Come 
 in. I'm sure yer welcome. (Teddy and Liza enter, 
 suspicious and reluctant. *Polly hands a chair out.) 
 Sit yer down. Don't be shy. Yer welcome to come 
 'ere if yer '11 do yer courtin' proper an' drop yer dancin' 
 abart outside with that whistle of yours. 'Ticin' 
 Liza out after she's bin sent to bed. Yer slipped out 
 ()' back door I reckon, Liza ? 
 Liza (timidly). Yus, mother. 
 Polly. I thought so. (Cordially.) Well, yer'll 
 ' ave no need to carry on that road now. We're goin' 
 tc 'ave this square an' straight. Liza, I'm sure Mr. 
 Dawscn's ready for a bit of supper. There ain't 
 ncthing like peckin' a bit together when you want to 
 get friendly. (Finishing the removal of ironing from 
 table.) Now, Liza, get a move on. Where's that 
 piece of boiled bacon as we found good chewing yester- 
 day ? Bustle rounel, girl. (Liza takes a cloth from 
 dresser, spreads on table and lays plates, etc., for two, 
 putting out the bacon, a tin loaf, and butter.) 
 
 Polly (drawing tip a chair to Teddy's confiden- 
 tially). Yer see, Mr. Dawson, I'm glad yer come in. 
 I 'aven't arf liked yer plan of workin'. Comin' 'ere an' 
 whistlin' abart the 'ouse as if yer felt feared o' bein' 
 seen. (Teddy .s7////.s uncomfortably.) But that's all 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 13 
 
 over now. We're goin' to 'ave that altered. {Look- 
 ing round at table.) Where's yer 'ead. Liza ? Do yer 
 think Mr. Dawson can face 'is supper dry? {Rising.) 
 There's some beer in the back. I'll go an' fetch it, 
 {Looking round as she reaches the door l.) It's gettin' 
 a bit dark in 'ere, Liza. Thhigs 'ull look more cheer- 
 ful with a light on. It'll give 3'er somethin' ter do 
 ter keep yer out of mischie^ while I'm gorn. {Exit 
 Polly l. Liza immediately lights the gas and puis 
 the blind down. Teddy rises.) 
 
 Teddy. Well, blime, Liza, this beats everything. 
 Wot made yer tell me they'd be against it if they 
 knew ? 
 
 Liza. I don't understand this no more than yer 
 do. They didn't set abart it this road with my 
 sisters' fellers. 
 
 Teddy. Looks like she s took a fancj^ to me, 
 Nothin' surprisin' in that neither. Yer've got a 
 sight better kind of a man than yer sisters ever 'ad. 
 
 Liza. That's right enough, Teddy, but I don't like 
 looks of this. Father used to leather Sally's 
 bloke. 
 
 Teddy. I'm not afraid of 'im so long as I'm on 
 right side of the missus. I knaw who wears 'em in 
 this 'ouse, an' it ain't the (;]d man. Yus, Liza, there 
 ain't nothin' to complain of so far. {Sitting and put- 
 ting his thumbs in his waistcoat ar^nholes.) Yer 
 never know yer luck. This 'ere weren't looked for. 
 I'll not be whistiin' out there for yer termorrer night. 
 Not csi. I'll walk in at door an' 'angmy 'at up loike 
 as if IJowned the place. {Looking round.) Tidy few 
 bits of sticks \^er've got an all, Liza. 
 
 Liza. It ain't so bad. '^ 
 
 Teddy. No. I sa}^, Liza, if the missus don't like 
 yer sisters' 'usbands she'll be glad to see yer wed a 
 man she's taken a fancy to. Fond of yer, I reckon, 
 too, eh, Liza ? 
 
 Liza. Yus. 
 
 Teddy. Yus. Too fond to part. See wot I 
 
14 THE SCARIlSrG OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 
 
 mean ? They'll arsk us to live 'ere arter we're wed. 
 Gettin' on, too, they are. Can't last for e\'er. 
 
 Liza. Wot are yer gettin' at ? 
 
 Teddy. Nothin' particklar. It just struck me 
 there's a nice pair of shoes to* step into 'ete. This is 
 goin' to be a bit of- all right,- Liza. I tjiusj: keep on the 
 sweet ' sid^. o'f yer ' mother. ' 
 
 Liza (bridling). I dunno what yer've .^ot in yer 
 'ead, Teddy DalwSoh.' I don't call to moind 'avin' said 
 I'd wed yer. I've not bin arsked that I know of. 
 
 Teddy {releasing his thumbs and coming to her). 
 I'm arskin' yer now, ain't I ? 
 
 Liza. I'm not goin' ter be arsked now. When 
 I'm arsked I'll be arsked proper, an' it'll not be in 
 between while mother fetches the beer. Yer makin' 
 a bit too sure an all, so yer can put that in yer pipe an' 
 smoke it. Don't be in too much of a 'uny abart me 
 nor them shoes of my father's wot yer mentioned 
 either. 
 
 Teddy (trying to put his arm round her). 'Ere, I 
 say, Liza, yer not offende 1 are yer ? 
 
 Liza Yer'd best be careful of yer tongue. 
 
 Teddy. Well, I'll arsk an' arsk till yer say yer'll 
 'ave me. I'm deep in love an' I'll not take no for 
 an answer. 
 
 Liza (softly). P'raps yer'll not get it neither when 
 yer arsk proper. 
 
 Teddy. That's rig]]t. Give us a kiss for a night 
 cap, Liza. 
 
 Liza (shyly). I don't think I ought. 
 
 Teddy. Why not ? Wot's come over yer ? 
 Yer've taken many a score out in the street an' giver 
 as good as yer took, an all. 
 
 Liza. I know. I dunno. Seems like street's one 
 thing an' inside's another. It don't seem same thing 
 with the gas on. 
 
 Teddy. Turn un low if yer feared o' the light. 
 
 Liza. Mother might catch us. 
 
 Teddy. That don't signify. She arsked me in 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 15 
 
 an' told me to do my courtin' proper. I don't call it 
 proper courtin' for yer to go to yer bed without a kiss 
 on yer lips fur company. 
 
 Liza. I must get used to it fust. (Teddy is 
 turning gas down.) Yer leave that gas be. I'll 
 scream out. (Teddy turns gas tip.) 
 
 Teddy. Look 'ere. Liza, yer darned stand-oftish 
 all at once. Yer weren't above kissin' me in street. 
 
 Liza {apologetically). It don't seem, same thing in 
 the 'ouse no'ow, Teddy. 
 
 Teddy. \Ye wouldn't li\-e in street if we were 
 wed. 
 
 Liza {with conviction). No. That's what keeps 
 striking me. It don't seem same fun in the 'ouse. 
 (Teddy approaches her again with resolution.) Here's 
 m,other ! (Teddy retreats. Enter Polly, with the 
 beer jug, which she puts on the table.) 
 
 Polly. 'Ere it is. Why, Liza, where's yer wits 
 bin wool-gatherin' ? Yer've put no glasses out.) 
 (Liza hurriedly puts two glasses from dresser on table. 
 Garn, yer've no need to colour up like that if yer did 
 forget 'tir. I'm not so old myself I've forgot my 
 court ii^' i\r\'-. There ain't nothink surprisin' if y^Y 
 did forget when yer lover's with yer. Well, sit yer 
 down, Mr. Dawson. 
 
 Teddy (sitting quite confidently now). Thank yer. 
 
 Polly [drawing up a chair for herself, facing him] 
 Yer'd best go to. bed, Liza ; yer've bin sent there twice 
 ternight. Don't stare like that. Me an' Mr. Daw- 
 son's got to get acquaint an' I reckon I'm old enough 
 to do without 'avin' yer for a chaperone. 
 
 Liza {reluctantly). K\\ right. Good-noight, mother. 
 
 Polly {mimicking). Good-noight, mother ! Is that 
 all yer've got ter say ? 
 
 Liza. Yus. As far as I know. 
 
 Polly. Well, if yer keep yer mouth shut the 1 kes 
 o' that when yer wed, Teddy 'ull be in clover. Wot ? 
 Oh, I see. Took yer charnce with 'im while I got beer, 
 did yer ? Righto. Sling yer 'ook. (Liza goes 
 
16 THE SCARING OFF OF TP:DDY DAWSON. 
 
 out L. under protest.) Now then. Mr. Dawson, we can 
 be comfortable. 
 
 Teddy. 'Ere, where's Mr. Bettesworth ? 
 
 Polly [assuming during the ensuing scene an air oj 
 rollicking camaraderie). 'E's all right. Out lookin' 
 for somebody, only 'e ain't lookin' in right place. 
 Don't yer worry abart 'im. Now, yer'll ave a bit of 
 bacon ? 
 
 Teddy [reassured again). I don't mind if I do. 
 
 I'OLLY [cutting and handing). Righto. Bread's 
 on yer side. (Polly helps herself to bacon and accepts 
 u slice of bread from Teddy. They eat without forks, 
 using bread instead and show no objection to putting 
 knives in their mouths.) 
 
 Polly [sarcastically). 1 didn't know yer was 
 teetotal. 
 , Teddy. I ain't. 
 
 Polly. Well, beer was brewed for drinkin', 
 (Teddy pours himself a glass and drinks modestly.) 
 
 Teddy [replacing glass). Ah ! 
 
 Polly. Sup it up. I like a man that can take 'is 
 liquor. Yer drink as if it feared yer. (Teddy 
 empties his glass.) That's better. [She passes her 
 glass, he fills it and his own.) Now, Mr. Dawson, don't 
 stint yerself. There ain't nothink like courtin' fur 
 givin' an appetite. Yer ain't got much to say for 
 yerself. I dunno. Young men don't seem so brisk 
 at their courtin' as they was when I were a girl. 
 
 Teddy [nettled). I don't think Tm pertiklar slow. 
 
 Polly. Well, I'll give yer an instance. That gas. 
 It were lighted the moment I left room. I saw gleam 
 of it under door. My old man 'ud never 'ave lit it 
 like that when 'im and me courted. 1 give yer a fair 
 chance, an all. Yer don't fancy I allays take that 
 long to pick up a jug o' beer, do yer ? 
 
 Teddy. Yus, well that 'ud go down all right with 
 some girls, but it ain't right way with Liza. 
 
 Polly. Oh, yer know yer own business best, of 
 course, i^ut yer'll. not be above takin' r. 'int from an 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 17 
 
 old woman that was courted afore yer was born. 
 Yer must make use o' yer charnces. Girls don't like 
 a slow^ lover. 
 
 Teddy. I'm not so shy, neither. 
 
 Polly. Yer not eatin' much. A feller wants a bit 
 o' somethin' as ull stick to 'is ribs when 'e's bin court- 
 in'. Don't forget yer beer. Ain't there no more in 
 jug ? (Teddy drinks up and refills.) Yer'il not get 
 boozed on a drop like that, and who's to care if 
 yer do ? Yer at 'ome 'ere. Drink up and 'ave 
 another. 
 
 Teddy (pushing plate and glass from him). I've 
 'ad enough. [He rises.) 
 
 Polly. I'll 'ave somethin' tastier in against yer 
 come termorrer night. I suppose yer'il be 'ere 
 (Polly rises.) 
 
 Teddy (sulkily). I told Liza I would, but I'm not 
 so sure if I can. 
 
 Polly. Please yerself. Only yer'il keep 'er 
 warm now yer've got so far if yer'il take my tip. 
 Don't let a girl fancy yer coolin' orf. Now, under- 
 stand, \er w^elcomc 'ere so long as ^^er break yerself 
 of that v/histlin' 'abit. We'll expect yer termorrer. 
 
 Teddy. I dunno as I'll be comin'. My mind's 
 not made up yet. 
 
 Polly. Yer mighty slow abart it. Wot's to do 
 wi' yer ? 
 
 Teddy. Nothing. (Polly puts her hand on his 
 arm in a friendly way.) 
 
 Polly. Because yer've no need to feel awkward 
 T'whole thing 'ull be straight forward now. Yer've 
 only to go in and win. 
 
 Teddy. Yer a bit anxious abart it. 
 
 Polly. No, Mr. Dawson, no. Not anxious. 
 
 Teddy (dogmatically) . Yer a sight too keen set on 
 my winnin' for my taste. 
 
 Polly (secretly rejoicing). Yus. Well, I've took 
 a fancy to yer. 
 
 Teddy (slyly). Sudden like. 'Ere, I've bin think- 
 
18 THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 
 
 in' now, yer said somethin' a while back abart Liza's 
 bein' a 'ot tempered 'un. 
 
 Polly (as if much I'aken aback). No. Did I ? 
 'Ot tempered did I say ? 
 
 Teddy. Yus. 
 
 Polly. Well, I can't deny she's a 'igh-spirited 
 i^irl. 
 
 Teddy. 'Igh-spirited, eh ? Liza didn't never 'ave 
 much ter say for 'erself out in street. 
 
 Polly (winking elaborately at him). That's 'er 
 artfulness. Trust a girl to be careful when she's got 
 'er eye on a man. 
 
 Teddy (moving towards door). I think I'll go 'ome. 
 Yer've give me a lot to think abart. 
 
 Polly. I tell you wot, Mr. Dawson, yer slip in 
 fur yer dinner on Sunday. Liza shall cook yer some- 
 thin'. She ain't much good at cookin' but you'll 
 enjoy it whatever it's loike when she's cooked it. 
 Me an' the old man 'ull 'ave a walk round Park after- 
 wards an' ver can 'ave the 'ouse to y erself with Liza. 
 See what I mean ? 
 
 Teddy. 1 don't know as I can come. 
 
 Polly (as if deeply disappointed). Yer a bit slow- 
 to my way of thinkin'. I'm doin' my best fur yer. 
 
 Teddy. Yus. That's just it. 
 
 Polly. Just what ? 
 
 Teddy. Yer a fat sight too keen to be rid of the 
 girl if yer want it straight. 
 
 Polly. Don't say that. Fm onh- tryin' to 'el]-) 
 yer. 
 
 Teddy. Yer didn't 'elp blokes wot come after yer 
 other girls only with yer old man's strap. 
 
 Polly. Oh, but yer a very different sort to them, 
 Mr. Dawson. 
 
 Teddy. That's right enough. (Door l. opens 
 softly and Liza peeps in. She leaves door ajar without 
 entering.) 
 
 Polly. Then we'll expect yer o' Sunday ? 
 
 Teddy. No. Damned if ver will. Yer s]i()\'in' 
 
THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 19 
 
 'er 'at me a sight too last. I'm thinkin' there's some- 
 thin' wrong with 'er. or yer'd not be so humble abart 
 it. Yer bally well beggin' me to 'ave 'er. I'm 'avin' 
 none of yer bad bargains, with tongues an' tempers an' 
 no good at cookin', thank yer. Yer can't fool me 
 Mrs. Bettesworth. 
 
 Polly. I'm sorry yer doubts me. Then we 
 mustn't expect yer round never no more ? 
 
 Te dy. No. I've seen through yer this time. 
 
 Polly. It's very 'ard, very 'ard it is. Wot must 
 I tell Liza ? 
 
 Teddy. It's nothin' to me wot yer tells 'er. I'm 
 goin' ome. (As he reaches the centre door, Andrew 
 opens it and enters) 
 
 Andrew [d.r awing back in amazement). Well, 
 blime ! (Liza steps into the room. Teddy looks at the 
 l. door as if to escape that ivay, hut sees her. Polly 
 moves to Andrew.) 
 
 Polly. Let 'im go, Andrew. 'E ain't worth 
 wastin' leather on 'im. 'E won't ever come 'ere no 
 more. 
 
 Andrew. 'E'll ^Qt 'isself done in if 'e docs. Clear 
 <mt. (Teddy loses no time. Andrew closes door. 
 Liza goes to Polly.) 
 
 Liza. Mother, do yer rccJly want ter get shut of 
 me ? 
 
 Polly. Oh, bin listenin' at key-'ole 'ave yer ? 
 Well, listeners don't 'ear no good o' themselves. 
 
 Liza. I couldn't go ter bed without knowin'. 
 I'd got ter come dahn ter find out wot yer an' Teddy 
 was say in'. 
 
 Polly. Yer 'card 'e'll not come back. 
 
 Liza. Yus. 
 
 Polly. Are yer sorry ? 
 
 Liza (hesitating). No — no — not if yer don't 
 want ter get rid of me. Yer don't do yer ? Eather, 
 mother, yer don't want me ter go I 
 
 Andrew. We don't that. 
 
 Liza. That's wot 'e said. 
 
20 THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. 
 
 Polly. 'E said a lot o' foolish things. No Liza 
 we don't want yer to go. Yer the Hght o' our eyes. 
 That chap 
 
 Liza (fiercely). I 'ate 'im. 
 
 Polly. Ah. See, Liza. (Takes her i hearth 
 and shows her the motto on a grocer s calendar over it.) 
 See that ? " East, West, home's best." Ain't that 
 true ? Yer stick to yer 'ome a bit longer. Yer can 
 take wings an' fly from yer nest when time comes. 
 Yer sure yer not sorry 'e's gorn ? 
 
 Liza (crying on Polly's shoulder). I want ter 
 stay with yer. 
 
 Polly (caressing her). That's right, Liza. 
 
 Andrew (angrily approaching table), ^^'ho's drunk 
 my supper beer ? 
 
 Polly. 'Im. 
 
 Andrew. Lll break 'is 
 
 Polly. Wasn't it worth it to be rid of 'im ? 
 
 Andrew\ Yus. Yer bloomin' old schemer. Yus. 
 Yer plan worked it after all. 
 
 Polly. It's bin a cure for love. 
 
X>X«a^WrXT«rG ROOWI 
 
 \ 
 
 L lu tuc laige size, dUc Ua,cK aoeae is 13 feet long and y feei biyti ctnu <^->- 
 b the Wings and Borders to 20 feet long and 11 J feet high In the centre 
 ^h window, leading down to the ground, On the left wing is a fireplace 
 ^r ahove, and on the right wing is an oil painting. The whole scene is 
 ornamented and beautifully coloured, forming a most elegunt picture. 
 /e is a representation of a box scene consisting of 38 sheets of paper, 
 sheets being used for the doors each side. 
 
 £ s. d. 
 ^k Scene, Border, and 1 Set of Wings, unmounted .. ..200 
 
 4,iiitto, mounted 4 4 
 
 Back Scene, Border, with 2 Seits of Wings as above to form Box 
 
 Scene, unmounted .. ..- ... .. .. 2 10 
 
 Ditto, mounted .. « 5 5 
 
 COTTAGE 
 
 i.-( ckxso Eept in the large size only. In the centre is a dour i a.iti t .- Mt.f 
 he left centre is a rustic fireplace, and the right centre is a window. « )u tl»* 
 gs are painted shelves, «S:c., to complete the scene. The above is a repre-en 
 m of this scene with 1 set of Wings only (not a Box Scene), but a Box Seen* 
 t>e made by purchasing the extra set of Wings. Prices and size same a? 
 ring Rooin Scene above 
 
FRENCH'S ACTING EDITION-Ts. per LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 VOLUME 160 
 aS6 The Dentist 
 «2S7 Taken for Granted 
 1238 Just an Well 
 2239 Uoguiany 
 221U Pansy 
 
 2241 A Doctor's Engage- 
 ments 
 2342 A Duet 
 
 2243 My Milliner's Bill, Is. 
 
 2244 My Aunt from Cali- 
 
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 K45 His Life for Hers 
 
 2246 'I'he Meeting 
 
 2247 The Umbrella 
 
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 2248 The Late LHiuented 
 2.i49 Woman Triumi)hant 
 226U Angelina's Lover 
 
 VOLUME 151 
 <251 OIir\«{i,nthemum« 
 
 2252 Mv First Client 
 
 2253 Punctured 
 
 2254 Old Pals 
 
 2'Lb Honeymoon Tragedy 
 22fiC Commission 
 22ft7 Hal, the Highwayman 
 2258 Dinner for Two 
 2269 Ninth Waltz 
 
 2260 Human Sport 
 
 2261 Collaborators 
 
 2262 Mere Man 
 
 2263 Packing Up 
 22(54 Paying Quest 
 2265 "Enery Brown 
 
 VOLUME 162 
 
 220fi Tlie Jilt 
 
 2207 'Op-o'-Me-Thnm«. 
 
 22G8 A Marri?ige Has Been 
 
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 2275 Bridget's Blunders 
 
 2276 That Brute Simmoi 
 
 2277 Well Matched 
 
 2278 Maker of Men 
 
 2279 Gutter of Time 
 2^80 Game of Chess 
 
 VOLUME 153 
 
 2281 Mr. Steinmann'e 
 
 Comer 
 
 2282 Ella's Apology 
 
 2283 Colour Sergeant 
 
 2284 Helpless Couple 
 
 2285 First Aid to the 
 
 Wounded 
 
 2286 Correct Thing 
 
 2287 Their New Paying 
 
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 2288 Domestic Entangle- 
 
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 2289 Salt of Life 
 
 2290 Time is Money 
 
 2291 Wally and the Widow 
 
 2292 Deceitful Miss Smiths 
 2i93 Holly Tree Inn 
 
 2294 Up to.date 
 
 2295 Bit of Jld Chelsea 
 
 014 642 885 P 
 
 Lucinda 
 2310 Uncle Dick's Darling 
 
 VOLUME 154 
 
 the 
 
 2296 Wrong Side of 
 
 Road 
 
 2297 The Open Door 
 
 2298 Prima Donna (Pem- 
 
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 2299 Lights Out(PemDerton) 
 2'00 Mirror of Time 
 
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 2325 
 
 VOLUME 155 
 
 That Horrid Major 
 Bardwell v. Pickwick 
 House of Nightingales 
 Turtle Dovee (der 
 
 Superior Miss Pellen- 
 His Good Genius 
 Martha Plays the Fa 
 Dumb Cake 
 Proposing by Pr 
 PliORnix 
 Boatswain's M 
 Final Rehears 
 Two Aunts at 
 Nelson Touci 
 Convict on t\ 
 
 VOLUMP 
 
 2326 Grey Pan 
 
 2327 Ghost of 
 
 2328 Bishop's 
 
 2329 Peacem? 
 
 2330 Chang< v • 
 
 2331 WireW ''> 
 
 2332 Pride of 
 
 2335 "1588" 
 2354 Man on thf 
 233t O'Dowd 
 
 2336 Impertinence 
 
 Creature 
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