DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 
 
 Partial U»t of Successful and Popular Plays» Large Catalogue Free. 
 
 DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
 ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 
 
 M. F. 
 
 -\aron Boggs, Freshman, 3 
 
 acts, 2H hrs (35c) 8 8 
 
 Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 arts. 
 
 2 hrs (35c) 15 
 
 After the Game, 2 acts, 1% 
 
 hrs (25c) 1 9 
 
 All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs- 
 
 (35c) 4 4 
 
 All on Account tJf Polly, 3 acts, 
 
 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 10 
 
 And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 
 
 214 hrs ....(50c) 6 6 
 
 Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2% 
 
 hrs (35c) 7 5 
 
 Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2^S 
 
 hrs (50c) 6 6 
 
 As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 
 
 2'/l hrs (35c) 9 7 
 
 At the End of the Rainbow, 3 
 
 acts, 2'A hrs (35c) 6 14 
 
 Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 
 
 (25c) . 9 3 
 
 Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 
 
 (25c) 17 
 
 Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 
 
 1^ hrs (25c) 16 2 
 
 Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 214 
 
 hrs (25c) 7 3 
 
 Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 
 
 (25c) 7 4 
 
 Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2% h. (25c) 7 4 
 Call of the Colors, 2 acts, 1^ 
 
 hrs (25c) 4 10 
 
 Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, 1^ 
 
 hrs , (25c) 10 
 
 Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 
 
 2ji hrs (35c) 8 10 
 
 Civil Service, 3 acts, 2\i hrs. 
 
 (35c) 6 5 
 
 College Town, 3 acts, 2% 
 
 hrs (35c) 9 8 
 
 Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 
 
 (35c) 5 5 
 
 Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 
 
 (35c) 6 4 
 
 Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2^ 
 
 hrs (25c) 8 4 
 
 Dream That Came True, 3 
 
 acts. 214 hrs (35c) 6 13 
 
 Editor.in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 
 
 Enchanted Wood, IH h (35c).Optnl. 
 Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1J4 h. (25c) 7 6 
 Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 
 
 hrs (25c) 4 4 
 
 For the Love of Johnny, 3 
 
 acts, 254 hrs (50c) 6 3 
 
 Fun on the Podunk Limited, 
 
 1% hrs , <oc) 9 14 
 
 Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. 
 
 (35c) 1 2 
 
 Her [lonor. the Mayor. ." '«. 
 '■ hrs (35c) 3 5 
 
 High School Freshman, 3 acts, 
 
 2 hrs. .... . (25c) 12 
 
 Indian Days. 1 hr (50c) 5 2 
 
 In Plum Valley. 4 acts, 2^ 
 
 hrs (25c) 6 4 
 
 Jayville Junction, 1% hrs. (25c) 14 17 
 Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 
 
 2% hrs (35c) 10 9 
 
 Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 
 
 acts, 2^A hrs (35c) 6 12 
 
 Laupbing Cure, 2 acts, l}i hrs. 
 
 (35c) 4 5 
 
 Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 2J4 
 
 hrs (35c) 5 4 
 
 Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 
 
 (25c) 7 4 
 
 Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 
 
 hrs (35c) 3 4 
 
 Mirandy's Minstrels. . . . (30c) Optnl. 
 Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 
 
 acts, 214 hrs (35c) 4 7 
 
 My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2}^ hrs. 
 
 (35c) 6 6 
 
 Old Maid's Club, 1^ hrs. (30c) 2 16 
 Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 
 
 hrs (25c) 8 6 
 
 Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 
 
 114 hrs (30c) 12 9 
 
 On the Little Big Horn. 4 acts, 
 
 2% hrs (25c) 10 4 
 
 Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 
 
 hrs (35c) 4 4 
 
 Prairie Rose. 4 acts, 2V$h.(35c) 7 4 
 Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 
 
 214 hrs (35c) 7 9 
 
 Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2% 
 
 hrs (35c) 10 12 
 
 Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2% 
 
 hrs (35c) 5 7 
 
 Safety First, 3 acts, 
 
 2M hrs (35c) 5 5 
 
 Southern Cinderella, 3 acts. 2 
 
 hrs (30c; 7 
 
 Spark of Life, 3 acts, 
 
 2 hrs (25c) 4 4 
 
 Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 2'/^ 
 
 hrs (35c) 10 10 
 
 Star Bright, 3 acts, 2J4 h. (35c) 6 5 
 Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 
 
 2 hrs (25c) 6 4 
 
 Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2^ 
 
 hrs (35c) 9 16 
 
 Tonv, the Convict, 5 acts, 2]/^ 
 
 hrs (25c) 7 4 
 
 Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. 
 
 (35c) 6 18 
 
 Trip to Storviand. 1% hrs. (25c) 17 23 
 Uncle Josh. 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
 Under Blue Skies, 4 acts. 2 
 
 hrs ^35c) 7 10 
 
 When Smith Stepped Oi... 3 
 
 acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 
 
 Whose Little Bride Are You?- 
 
 3 acts, 21/2 hrs (SOc) 5 5 
 
 Winn ins; Widow. ? acts, 1J4 hrs. 
 
 (2.5c) 2 4 
 
 T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,Publishers 623 S. Wabash Avf., Chicago 
 
THE 
 
 SCHOOL OF DETECTING 
 
 A RAPID-FIRE SIDEWALK SKETCH 
 
 BY 
 
 FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 "Fifty-Fifty," "Mary's Millions," "At Harmony Junction!' "The 
 Battle of RoUin' Bones," "Foiled, , by Heck!" "Good 
 Morning, Teacher" "It Might Happen," 
 "Such Ignorance" "How to Adver- 
 tise a Play," etc. 
 
 CHICAGO 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 
 
 Publishers 
 
THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 
 
 3 SIS 
 
 HEY, RUBE! 
 
 To my good friend Jimmie Barry," 
 
 "The Rube from Hensfoot Corners,". 
 
 this bit of nonsense is good-naturedly 
 
 inscribed. 
 
 R5 
 
 NOTICE 
 
 Production of this play is 
 free to amateurs, but all pro- 
 fessional rights are reserved. 
 
 OCT 22 ly21 
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY 
 FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 
 
 ©CI.0 58954 
 
 'M/- / 
 
THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 Elmer From' Cowslip Corners 
 
 Steve • . .A Glad-Hander 
 
 Place — Not for a Ministers Son. 
 
 Time — Too Late To Be Safe. 
 
 Time of Playing — About Fifteen Minutes. 
 
 TYPES AND COSTUMES. 
 
 Elmer — A gawky country lad. Wears tight-iitting suit, 
 with trousers and sleeves too short ; undersized straw hat 
 or dinky brown derby ; large shoes ; white socks ; make-up 
 ruddy, with large mouth and small eyebrows, no lining on 
 eye-lashes, vertical black line on each eyelid ; front tooth 
 blackened ; red or blond shock wig, or tousled hair ; talks 
 and moves slowly, and stutters. 
 
 Steve — Breezy and self-possessed ; a shck bunco man. 
 His work is brisk and lively, to contrast with Elmer. Good 
 business suit and hat ; flashy tie and jewelry. 
 
 PROPERTIES. 
 
 Carpet-bag. Umbrella. Large roll of stage money 
 Wallet with stage money. Tw^o tin badges. 
 
THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 
 
 Scene: A street drop in one, if available; but scenery 
 is not essential. 
 
 Enter Elmer, L. He carries an old-fashioned carpet- 
 bag and a poorly furled cotton umbrella. He walks slozvly, 
 dragging the umbrella, and looking upzvard, open-mouthed, 
 as if gazing at the high buildings. 
 
 Enter Steve, R., briskly. He extends his arms in a 
 welconie-to-our-city fashion, and before Elmer is aware of 
 his presence, grasps his hand firmly. 
 
 Steve {shaking Elmer's hand cordially). \\^ell, well! 
 When did you get to town, Silas? 
 
 Elmer.. M-m-my name ain't S-S-S- {zvJiistles) Silas. 
 
 Steve. Glad to hear it. That name's too juicy for a man 
 with your vocal delivery. When did you get in from the 
 country ? 
 
 Elmer (stuttering). Ha-ha-ha — 
 
 Steve. Are you talking, or laughing ? 
 
 Elmer. Ha-ha-how did you know I was from the c-c-c- 
 (zvJiistles) country? 
 
 Steve. Wliy, don't you remember nie ? I met you in — 
 in — now where was it? 
 
 Elmer. I ain't never been nowheres but in Cow-Cow- 
 Cow — (whistles) Cowslip Corners. 
 
 Steve. Sure. That's where it was. Cowslip Corners. 
 Well, well ! You're looking bully ! 
 
 Elmer (embarrassed). Aw, k-k-k-quit your k-k-k- 
 izvJiistles) kiddin' me! 
 
 Steve (laughing) . You're a pretty wise guy, aren't you? 
 
 Elmer. You b-b-bet your life I am ! I come to the 
 s-s-s-city to g-g-g — izvhistles) get rich quick. 
 
 Steve. Fine idea ! And I'm the man to help you. What 
 was the last thing you did on the farm? 
 
 Elmer. Workin' in f-f-f — (zMstles) father's orchard, 
 trimmin' suckers. 
 
 4 
 
THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 5 
 
 Steve. Trimming suckers, eh? Then we're both the 
 same kind of specialists. What's your name? 
 
 Elmer. Elm-Elm-Elm — 
 
 Steve. Seems to me you're a kind of a slippery elm. 
 
 Elmer. Elm-Elm — (whistles) Elmer. 
 
 Steve. Well, Elmer, I can see that you're a clever young 
 man, and I predict a brilliant future for you. Now let's 
 get to work. 
 
 Elmer. Work? S-s-say, mister, f-f-f — 
 
 Steve (putting Jiis hand before Jiis face). You ought 
 to have a safety valve put on that. 
 
 Elmer. F-f-first I got to get a job. 
 
 Steve. Got any money? 
 
 Elmer. F-f-f — 
 
 Steve. Get it adjusted for cold weather. 
 
 Elmer. F-f-f- father gave me a b-b-brindle calf, and I 
 sold it for carfare. ( Takes large roll of bills from his 
 pocket.) 
 
 Steve. You sold it for carfare, eh ? x\nd the packers 
 will sell it for minced chicken. You don't need any car- 
 fare. (Takes money from Elmer's Jiand and peels off a 
 bill.) Ten dollars of this is for me. 
 
 Elmer. H-h-hey, that's mine! 
 
 Steve (returning roll). Well, keep it. 
 
 Elm.er. B-b-but I'm t-t-t-t — (whistles) ten dollars shy. 
 
 Steve. We're always a little shy when we first come in 
 from the country. 
 
 Elmer. I d-d-d-don't believe that you're honest. 
 
 Steve. Honesty is my motto. I never take money from 
 a person without explaining why. I'll tell you a secret that's 
 worth more than ten dollars, because I'm your friend. If 
 I show you how to double your money in less than a minute, 
 can I keep the ten? 
 
 Elmer. That sounds f-f-f-f — 
 
 Steve. Propeller's out of water. Too much weight in 
 the bow of the boat. 
 
 Elmer. F-f — (wJiistles) fair enough. 
 
 Steve. Well, vou take a ten dollar bill, like this — {holds 
 
6 THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 
 
 out the bill. Elmer takes another bill off roll, and does 
 like-wise) — and then you place the corners carefully to- 
 g^ether, so — {doubles it over and Elmer does also) — and 
 then you crease it neatly, thus — (same business) — and that's 
 a quick way to double your money. (Puts bill in pocket.) 
 
 Elmer (looking at him blankly). Why, g-g-g-gosh blame 
 you, you stung me for ten dollars ! 
 
 Steve. Cheer up. I'm your friend! {Slaps him heart- 
 ily on the back.) I saved ten dollars for you. 
 
 Elmer. You're all mixed up. You s-s-s-saved ten dol- 
 lars for yourself. 
 
 Steve. Not at all. I tell you I saved ten for you. I 
 might have stung you for twenty. Ten dollars apiece. We 
 both win. Get me? 
 
 Elmer. I g-g-g-got you. But you g-g-g — (zvhistles) 
 got the ten dollars. 
 
 Steve. Well, I'm your friend. I'm going to earn that 
 ten dollars honestly. If you want to get rich, the quickest 
 way is to be a detective. 
 
 Elmer. A de-de-de-detective? 
 
 Steve. Not a dead detective. A live one. 
 
 Elmer. What's a detective? 
 
 Steve. A sleuth — a Hawkshaw — a gumshoe artist. 
 Haven't you read Sherlock Holmes? 
 
 Elmer. N-n-n-no, but I got a red undershirt. 
 
 Steve. You don't follow me. 
 
 Elmer. I can't f-f-f-follow you when you don't g-g-g — 
 (whistles) go no place. 
 
 Steve. Listen here. You're going to be a detective. I'm 
 going to teach you my course of work. 
 
 Elmer. It was c-c-c-coarse work, all right, the way you 
 t-t-t-took my t-t-t — (zvhistles) ten dollars. 
 
 Steve. You'll get your money's worth. I'm your friend. 
 A detective is a person who finds what everybody is trying 
 to hide. 
 
 Elmer. G-g-g-gosh, I'm a detective already. 
 
 Steve. How long have you been a detective? 
 
 Elmer. I b-b-b-been tryin' to find what everybody was 
 
THE SCHOOL OF DETFXTIXG 7 
 
 tryin' to hide, ever since they invented p-p-p — (whistles) 
 prohibition. 
 
 Steve. You got me all wrong. 
 
 Elmer. You g-g-got my ten dollars all wrong. 
 
 Steve. You'd better pay me attention. 
 
 Elmer. You'd better p-p-pay me the ten dollars. 
 
 Steve. There are several kinds of detectives. Do you 
 know what a spotter is? 
 
 Elmer. Sh-sh-sh-sure. 
 
 Steve. What is a spotter? 
 
 Elmer. G-g-g — (zvhistles) gravy. 
 
 Steve. Not at all! When you are after a man, it is 
 sometimes necessary to get something on him. So you 
 spot him. 
 
 Elmer. W-w-with gravy. 
 
 Steve. Yes, with — (checking himself). Of course not! 
 Mow, listen here. Suppose a man threatens to bring suit 
 against me. I hire you, because you are a detective. You 
 are supposed to spot him. How do you do it? 
 
 Elmer. W-w-with gravy. 
 
 Steve. Yes, with — (checking himself). Of course not. 
 If a man brings suit, why should you put gravy on him? 
 
 Elmer. To s-s-spoil his suit. 
 
 Steve. Don't you know what a shadow is? 
 
 Elmer. Even a s-s-sausage knows that. ' 
 
 Steve. What do you mean, even a sausage knows what 
 a shadow is? 
 
 Elmer. If a s-s-sausage s-s-sees his sh-sh-sh-shadow, it 
 means six w-w-w-weeks of w-w-w — (zvhistles) winter. 
 
 Steve. Not a sausage, you poor boob ! A ground-hog. 
 
 Elmer. Ain't a s-s-s-sausage a g-g-g — (whistles) 
 ground hog? 
 
 Steve. I'll never put any sense into you. 
 
 Elmer. You g-g-got a lot of d-d-dollars out of me. 
 
 Steve. That's all right. You're going to be a detective. 
 
 Elmer. If you d-d-don't give me them t-t-ten bucks, 
 you're going to be a c-c-corpse ! 
 
8 THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 
 
 Steve. You can't blu.€ me. 
 
 Elmer. That's what the g-g-grasshopper said to the 
 ni-m-mowin' machine. But 1-1-look what happened. 
 
 Steve. Look here, you cabbage head. Don't you want 
 to learn something? 
 
 Elmer. I've learned something already. Beware of all 
 w-w-well dressed strangers. 
 
 Steve. The principal job a detective has is to find some- 
 thing that's missing. 
 
 Elmer. I got t-t-ten dollars missing. 
 
 Steve. Or it might be a murder. 
 
 Elmer. M-m-might be? It's g-g-goin' to be, if you 
 don't give me them ten dollars ! 
 
 Steve (angrily). Look here, young fellow. You're 
 making threats. I think I'll run you in ! 
 
 Elmer (blankly). H-h-huh? 
 
 Steve (grabbing his arm, roughly). Come on. The 
 hoozgow for yours ! 
 
 Elmer (shaking him off). Leave go of me, you g-g-gol 
 durn slicker ! 
 
 Steve (throwing back coat and shozving badge). You're 
 pinched, you poor fish ! Come on ! Thirty days on the rock 
 pile, if you're lucky. 
 
 Elmer. Wh-wh-what ? 
 
 Steve. Pinched! Nipped! Nabbed! Nailed! (At each 
 zvord Elmer's licad bobs in- a startled manner and he nearly 
 loses his hat.) Don't you know nothin' but hick talk? 
 ^'ou're arrested ! You savvy, arrested ? 
 
 Elmer. Wh-wh-what? I g-g-got to g-g-go to jail? 
 i Starts to zvecp.) I ain't n-n-never been in jail in a-a-a-all 
 my life! (Weeps loudly.) 
 
 Steve. Well, cheer up. You're going to be. (Looks at 
 him shrczvdly.) Unless — 
 
 Elmer. Un-un-un-unless what? 
 
 Steve. Well, I'm your friend. (Turning azi/ay and ex- 
 tending his hand back of him.) Twenty bucks might make 
 me forget it. 
 
THE SCHOOL OF DETECTING 9 
 
 Elmer. I g-g-gave you ten dollars already ! 
 
 Steve. Shut up about that ten dollars ! (Sliozvs badge 
 threateningly.) Kick in! 
 
 Elmer (suddenly dropping all his slozmiess of speech 
 and manner and talking fast and crisply). Now, Steve 
 Carter, alias Dago Dick, I have you where I want you ! 
 Pulling the confidence game, impersonating an officer, 
 threatening illegal arrest, asking a bribe — I've caught you 
 with the goods ! That ten-dollar bill in your pocket is 
 marked money ! 
 
 Steve (astounded) . Say, mister, there must be some 
 mistake ! I — 
 
 Elmer. Come on! (Throzvs back coat and sliozvs badge.) 
 Tell it to the judge! (Grabs Jiis arm.) Come along quietly, 
 now — 
 
 Steve. A plain clothes man! (Breaking dozvn.) Well, 
 you've got the goods on me. but — (tragically) give me an- 
 other chance, won't you, officer? It's my first offence! I'll 
 go straight — honest I will! Think of my family! (Takes 
 out zvallet.) I'll make it worth your while! Don't — oh, 
 don't put me behind prison bars! Here — (Hands him zval- 
 let) take it — take it all! 
 
 Elmer (finding quantity of money in zuallet). Well — 
 (hesitates) for the sake of the wife and kiddies — (pockets 
 the bills) all right. You can go. 
 
 Steve (suspiciously). Say — is this on the level? 
 
 Elmer (reverting to original country style). It i> if 
 you're f-f-f-flat broke. 
 
 Steve. Stung ! 
 
 Elmer. N-n-n-next time you f-f-f-fish for suckers, don't 
 p-p-p-pick a country boy. 
 
 Steve. How long have you been on the force, stranger? 
 
 Elmer. N-n-n-not long. Just since I g-g-g-got out of 
 the s-s-s- (zvhistles) school of detectin' ! 
 
 Quick Curtain. 
 
 (Or may introduce comic song, ^'Oshkosh, B'Gosh!'' to close 
 
 the act.) 
 
New Blackface Series 
 
 For Minstrels and Vaudeville 
 Price, 25 Cents Each, Postpaid 
 
 THE AFRICAN GOLF CLUB.— Blackface farce, by Jeff Branen; 
 10 males, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. The rattle of the cubes, 
 the burning- of a neighboring chicken coop and the tragic loss of 
 the contraband "likker" combine to shatter the nerves of the dom- 
 ino gallopers. But they do gallant rescue work. An ideal afterpiece. 
 
 ALMOST AN ACTOR. — Coontown crossfire, by Wade Stratton; 
 
 2 males. Time, 20 minutes. A seedy manager tries to initiate a 
 station porter into the thespian art, but they find there is little 
 inspiration when hunger gnaws. This skit crackles with fresh gags 
 and comedv business. Both parts are rich. 
 
 THE BATTLE OF ROARING-BULL.— A black and copper-colored 
 massacre, by Jeff Branen; 11 or more males. Time, 30 minutes. 
 Two wandering darkies fall into the clutches of a terrible red- 
 skin tribe, with hair-raising results. Can be effectively elaborated 
 with war-dance, etc., introducing entire minstrel troupe as an 
 afterpiece. 
 
 THE BLACK VAMP.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 males, 2 fe- 
 males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam thought his wife didn't appreciate 
 him, so he got liis good friend Phil to impersonate a dusky vam- 
 pire, to liven things up. He livened things up, all right. Chance 
 for song and dance specialties. The female parts can be "doubled." 
 
 CASH MONEY. — A minstrel spree for three, by Wade Stratton; 
 
 3 males. Time, 20 minutes. Two travelers are forced to share a 
 room in a fust-class cullud boa'din' house, with almost fatal re- 
 sults. The handsome waiter is a factor in the mixup. Fine chance 
 for comedian who plays banjo, ukulele or guitar. 
 
 THE COON AT THE DOOR.— A black-and-white skit, bv Jeff 
 Branen; 3 males. Time, 20 minutes. The doctor's office boy fears 
 the man at the door is his hated rival, and his efforts to evade a 
 meeting are side-splitting. The white doctor blackens up and 
 doubles as the mysterious coon. Specialties are to be introduced. 
 
 A DARK SECRET. — Colored farce of mystery, by Jeff Branen; 
 
 4 males, 1 female. Time, 30 minutes. This screaming story of 
 the adventure of a negro detective and his dusky assistant has 
 made thousands roar when presented on the professional stage, 
 and is now available in print for the first time. 
 
 FU'ST AID TO CUPID.— Minstrel absurdity, by Wade Stratton; 
 3 males, 2 females. Time, 20 minutes. Willie, a wandering waga- 
 bond without wim, wigor, witality or wittles, who poses as a "mis- 
 ery specialist" to aid tlie course' of true love, will bring down tlie 
 house. A welcome modern adaptation of the sham doctor theme. 
 
 HITTING THE AFRICAN HARP.— Blackface skit for a banjo 
 duo, by Wade Stratton; 2 males Time. 15 minutes, or according 
 to specialties. Written as a veliicle for a lianjo playing team to 
 introduce specialties, and rich in comedy lines and business. Very 
 popular witli college banjo clubs, etc., as a novelty stunt. 
 
 KISS ME, CAM ILLE!— Blackface novelty, by Wade Stratton; 
 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Horatio, the dramatic 
 teacher, finds Lucinda a promising pupil, and they rehearse love 
 scenes with enthusiasm. But Luke McFluke. his other pupil, 
 doesn't take kindly to the course of training, and the instructor is 
 sadly out of luck. The blackface travesty on "Camille" is a scream. 
 
 THE MYSTERIOUS SUITCASE.— By Arthur Leroy Kaser; 2 
 males. Time, 15 minutes. Sam has to carry Harry's grip, and 
 both negroes have a laughable time trying to keep the mystery 
 from leaking out. The fact that they stop to rest near a cemetery 
 also gives Sam cause for serious thinking. 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S.Wabash Ave.. Chicago 
 
Denison's Vaudeville Monologues 
 
 Price, 25 Cents Each, Postpaid 
 
 HEY, RUBE! — Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 
 15 minutes. Reuben Spinach, from Yapton, visits Chicago for the 
 first time. The way he tells of the sights and what befell him 
 would make a sphinx laugh. 
 
 KILLARNEY BLARN EY.— Irish monologue, by Harry K New- 
 ton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Barney McGooggen's stories of 
 himself and his friend Casey reach the apex of Irish wit. 
 
 MARRIAGE AND AFTER.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton and 
 A. S. Hoffman; 1 male. Time,- about 10 minutes. A laugh every 
 two seconds on a subject which appeals to all. Full of local hits. 
 
 ME AND MY DOWN TRODDEN SEX.— Old maid monologue, by 
 Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 female. Time, 5 min- 
 utes. Polly has lived long enough to gather a few facts about 
 men which are told in the most laughable manner imaginable. 
 
 MRS. CLANCY'S CONFESSION.— Monologue, by Harry L. New- 
 ton; 1 female. Time, 10 minutes. Mrs. Clancy says: "Marriage 
 is a great institution — for the blind, as it opens the eyes quicker 
 than anything else in the world." 
 
 MY FRIEND FRITZ.— Dutch monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 
 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Hans Snitzer, a German but not from 
 Milwaukee, has some funny experiences. His Turkish bath story 
 will thaw out anv audience. 
 
 PETE YANSEN'S GURL'S M ODER.— Swede monologue, by Char- 
 ley Varley; 1 male. Time, 10 minutes. Yansen is "yust" from 
 "Min-ap-lis" where they make good Swede "yokes." 
 
 SI AND I. — Country girl monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 
 female. Time, 15 minutes. Samantha Simpkins of Squashville and 
 her beau. Si, visit Chicago. 
 
 SILLY SAMMY'S SECRETS.— Country kid monologue, by Harry 
 L. Newton; 1 male. Time. 10 minutes. A merry message of mirth 
 sent direct from "down on the farm." 
 
 A SUNNY SON OF ITALY.— Italian monologue by Harry L. 
 Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Dis-a country no much -a 
 good for Italian mans. German mans he make -a all de beer; 
 Jew mans he make-a all de money; Irish mans he made-a all de 
 politicians and hold-a all de soft-a snap jobs. What-a you know 
 about dat, eh? 
 
 A SWIFT PROPOSITION.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 
 male. Time, 15 minutes. There are various kinds of vehicles, but 
 "A Swift Proposition" is one which will transport any audience 
 into a realm of mirth. 
 
 A TRAMP WITH A TRAMP.— Tramp monologue, by Harry L. 
 Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Nifty Nick, a gentleman of 
 leisure, who tramps along a highway of mirth, where each "hand • 
 out" is a bunch of laughs. 
 
 THE TROUBLES OF ROZINSKI. — Jew monologue, by Harry L. 
 Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Rozinski, 
 a buttonhole maker, is forced to join the union and go on a 
 "strike." He has troubles every minute that will tickle the ribs 
 of both Labor and Capital. 
 
 UNCLE BILL AT THE VAUDEVILLE.— Rube monologue, by 
 Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Uncle Bill Bilkins, 
 a wise old Rube, attends the continuous vaudeville and sees the 
 "hull dui^n show." 
 
 WOMEN'S WAYS.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton: 1 male. 
 Time, 15 minutes. There are two kinds of women of which men 
 should beware, the married and the unmarried. Both have curi- 
 ous wavs, which are told in a most humorous manner. 
 
 WORDS TO THE WISE.— Monologue, by Harry Newton; 1 male. 
 Time, about 15 minutes. A typical vaudeville act, which is fat 
 With funny lines and rich, rare hits. 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S. Wabash Ave.. Chicago 
 
Son^ Numbers for Your Show 
 
 Make a program of live wire hits. Prices below as indicated, postpaid. 
 
 Complying- with a demand for a series of musical numbers which 
 are well adapted for interpolation in musical comedies, revues and 
 minstrel shows, the publishers are bringing out the following care- 
 fully selected songs, ideally suited to this purpose, for which they 
 were especially written. Each number is in regular sheet music 
 form, for piano and voice, with beautiful title page in colors. 
 
 CARMEN, SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY CHARMIN'.— A novelty 
 fomic number with very raggy treatment of characteristic Spanish 
 music. Splendid for ensemble as well as for solo. Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 CROONIN' NEATH THE COTTON-PICKIN' MOON.— A beau- 
 tiful southern serenade, rich in mellow chords and close harmony; 
 excellent feature for any musical comedy or minstrel show, espe- 
 cially for male quartet; includes quartet arrangement. 
 
 Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 HINDU MAN. — A cleverly worded and gorgeously harmonized 
 oriental number that carries the weird spell of mystic India in both 
 Ivric and melody. An unrivalled production number, and will fit 
 any program. Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 GOOD NIGHT, DEAR NIGHT.— An out-of-the-ordinary ballad, 
 characterized as a semi-classic, with piano accompaniment of un- 
 usual beauty. Worthy of feature position on any musical program. 
 A splendid concert number. Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 I AIN'T GOT ENOUGH TO PASS AROUND.— An irresistibly 
 funny coon song, with a blue-j^ accompaniment. Every bit as good 
 as "Constantly" and "Somebody Lied," by the same writer. Every 
 burnt cork comedian needs it. Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 OSHKOSH, B'GOSH!— A "hey rube" novelty number that is 
 crowded with wit and unexpected twists in the lyric. Charac- 
 teristic josli music that takes you right l^ack to the farm, by heck! 
 A great number for a character comedian. Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 SOON I'LL BE THE CZAR OF ZANZI BAR.— Dan McGrover was 
 a rover in his motor car. The letter that he wrote to McClusky 
 from far off Zanzibar intimated that he was sitting on the world. 
 A speedy number that will ring the bell for a laughing hit. 
 
 Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 THE SUNBEAM AND THE MOONBEAM.— A charming ballad 
 with a novel idea charmingly expressed, and a melody with a 
 haunting quality, combine to make this song appreciated by any 
 audience. Includes arrangements for male and mixed quartets. 
 
 Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 WONDERFUL.— A whimsical love song that will fit into any mu- 
 sical show, and is easily adapted as a double number for male 
 and female. Equally good for male or female solo. 
 
 Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 YOUR LITTLE GIRL.— An appealing ballad, harmonized in 
 catchy syncopated tempo. Excellent solo number, especiallv for 
 mixed or female minstrels. Includes special chorus arranirements 
 for male and mixed quartets. Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM.— This sure-fire comedv mono- 
 logue, with musical accompaniment, has been used by America's 
 foremost professional entertainers, but was never placed on general 
 sale, and is now available to amateurs for the first time. 
 
 Eleven pages, complete with descriptive music, 50c 
 
 T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, 623 S.Wabash Ave.. Chicago 
 
DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 
 
 Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Larere Catalogue Free 
 
 FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
 Price 25 Cents Each 
 
 M. F. 
 
 All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
 Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 
 
 min 1 2 
 
 Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 
 
 35 min 11 
 
 Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 
 I'onowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 
 llorrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
 Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
 
 Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 
 
 Divided Attentions, 35 min. ..14 
 I"un in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 
 Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 
 
 Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 
 
 Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 
 Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 
 
 Honest Peggy, 25 min........ 
 
 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 
 Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 
 
 Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 
 
 Men Not Wanted, 30 min.... 
 Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 
 Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 
 Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 
 Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 
 
 Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 
 
 Pat's Matrimonial ■■ enture, 25 
 
 min 1 
 
 Pfitsv O' Wang, 35 min 4 
 
 Rimmage Sale, 50 min 4 10 
 
 Sewing for the Heathen, 40 
 
 min 9 
 
 Sliadows, 35 min 3 4 
 
 ? ■ :j a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 
 Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
 Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 
 
 min 7 3 
 
 Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 
 
 min 3 
 
 Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 
 
 Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 
 
 l^nrle Dick's Mistake. 20 min.. 3 
 Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 
 Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 
 
 Spades. 40 min 3 
 
 Whole Truth. 40 min 5 
 
 Who's the Boss? 30 min 3 
 
 WiMp I'.non.eh for Two, 45 min. 5 
 Wrong Baby, 25 min 
 
 FARCES. COMEDIETAS, Etc 
 Price 15 Cents Each 
 
 April Fools, .^0 min 3 
 
 Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 
 
 Bahy Show at Pineville. 20 min. 19 
 Before the Play Begins, 15 
 
 min 2 
 
 Billv'? Mishaps, 20 min 2 
 
 C .iniii-i- liv^tire.- 1 ^ "'--i 8 
 
 Cow that Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 
 
 Familv .Strike. 20 min 3 
 
 First-Class Hotel. '0 min.... 4 
 For Love and Honor, 20 min,. 2 
 F'ulore nnd n Burelar. 1 '^ min.. 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
 Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 
 
 Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 
 
 Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 
 
 Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 
 
 Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 
 
 Please Pass the (ream, 20 min. 1 1 
 
 Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 
 
 Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 
 
 That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 
 
 Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. '4 
 Two Gentlemen in a Fix. IS m. 2 
 
 Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 1 
 
 VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
 Price 25 Cents Each 
 
 Amateur, 15 min 1 1 
 
 At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 
 Breakfist Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 
 
 Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 
 
 Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
 Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 
 
 Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 
 
 Hey, Rube! 15 min.... 1 
 
 It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 
 
 Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 
 Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 
 Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
 One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
 
 Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 
 
 Pete Yansen's Curl's Mnder, 10m. 1 
 Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min.. 4 
 
 Si and I, 15 min 1 
 
 Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 
 
 Street Faker, 15 min 3 
 
 Such Ignorance, 15 min....... 2 
 
 Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 
 
 Time Table, 20 min 1 1 
 
 Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
 Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
 Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 ' 
 
 Umbrella Mender. 15 min 2 
 
 Vait a Minute 2 
 
 BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
 Price its Cen^s Each 
 
 Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 
 
 Booster Club of Blackville, 25 
 
 min .10 
 
 Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
 Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
 Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 
 Darktown Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 
 Good Mornin' Judp'e, 35 min.. 9 2 
 
 Hungry, 15 min 2 
 
 Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 
 
 Memphis Mose. 25 min 5 1 
 
 Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 
 
 Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
 What Happened to Hannah, 15 
 
 min 1 1 
 
 a- 
 
 A great number of 
 
 Standard and Amateur Plays 
 
 not found here are listed In 
 
 Denison's Catalogue 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 
 
 1-1021 
 
POPULAR ENTERTAINI 
 
 1P«riic«. Illustrated Paper fcovers 
 
 IN this Series 
 are found 
 books touching 
 every feature 
 in the enter- 
 tainment field. 
 Finely made, 
 good paper, 
 clear print and 
 each book has 
 an attractive 
 individual cov- 
 er design. 
 A Partial List 
 
 DIALOGUES 
 
 All Sorts of Dialogues. 
 
 Selected, fine for older pupils. 
 Catchy Comic Dialogues. 
 
 Very clever; for young people. 
 Children's Comic Dialogues. 
 
 From six to eleven years of age. 
 Country School Dialogues. 
 
 brand new, original. 
 Dialogues for District Schools. 
 
 For country schools. 
 Dialogues from Dic.ens. 
 
 Thirteen selections. 
 Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 
 
 Over 60,(100 copies sold. 
 From Tots to Teens. 
 
 Dialogues and recitations. 
 Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 
 
 For older ones. 
 Little People's Plays. 
 
 From 7 to 13 years of age. 
 Lively Dialogues. 
 
 For all age^: mostly humorous. 
 Merry Little Dialogues. 
 
 Thirty-eight original selections. 
 When the Lessons are Over. 
 
 Dialogues, drills, plays. 
 Wide Awake Dialogues. 
 
 Oiiginal successful. 
 
 SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 
 
 Choice Pieces for Little People. 
 
 A child's speaker. 
 The Comic Entertainer. 
 
 Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
 Dialect Readings. 
 
 Irish. Dutch. Negro, Scotch, etc. 
 The Favorite Speaker. 
 
 Choice prose and |)ootry. 
 The Friday Afte-ncon Speaker. 
 
 For pn|iils of all ages. 
 Humorous Monologues. 
 
 Particularly for ladies. 
 Monologues for Young Folks. 
 Clever, humorous, original. 
 
 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 !l!!!!JII!l!l!!!J!i!!!!!!llil!ll!!!l!!li!!!!!i!!ll!!!llJll^ 
 
 015 938 677 6 
 
 Monologues Grave and Gay. 
 
 Dramatic and humorous. 
 Scrap. Book Recitations. 
 
 Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
 morous, descriptive, prose, 
 poetry. 15 j\os., per No. 36c 
 
 DmLLS 
 
 The Best Drill Book. 
 
 Very popular drills and marches. 
 The Favorite Book of Drills. ; 
 Drills that sparkle with originality 
 Little Plays With Drills. 
 
 For children from 6 to 11 years. 
 The Surprise Drill Book. 
 
 Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 
 
 SPECIALTIES 
 
 The^ Boys' Entertainier. 
 
 Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
 Children's Party Book. 
 
 Invitations, decorations^ games. 
 The Christmas Entertainer. 
 
 ^Novel and diversified. 
 The Days We Celebrate. 
 
 Entertainments for all the holidays. 
 Good Things for Christmas. 
 
 Recitations, dialogues, drills 
 Good .Things for Sunday Schools. 
 
 Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
 Good Thmgs for Thanksgiving. 
 
 A gem of a book. 
 Good Things for Washington 
 . ...f"! Lincoln Birthdays. 
 Little Folks' Budget. 
 
 Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
 0"e-,Hundred Entertainments. 
 
 JNew parlor diversions, socials. 
 Patriotic Celebrations. 
 
 Great /varietv of material 
 Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 
 
 Enljrely original features. 
 Pranks and Pastimes. 
 
 , Parlor games for children. 
 Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 
 
 Charades, and how to pre])are 
 Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 
 
 New and novel; for all ages. 
 Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
 
 Ing Figures. For little tots. 
 Yuletide Entertainments. 
 
 .A choice Christmas collection. 
 
 MINSTRELS, JOKES 
 
 The Black-Face Joker. 
 
 Minstrels' and end men's gags 
 A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 
 
 Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
 Laughland,vla the Ha-Ha Route. 
 
 A merry trip for fun tourists. 
 Negro Minstrels. 
 
 All about the business. 
 The New Jolly Jester. 
 
 Fu n ny^^ories^ jokes, gags, etc. 
 Large IlluatratedCataiogue Frea 
 
 T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,Publlshers,623S.Wabash Ave., Chicago