Mtttyout Olr^Ji^nttalfl 
 
 ^^ 
 
 NETTIE I. FREESE 
 
fDxthtrut OlrBriBntiala 
 
 Nettie I. Freese 
 
PECK A TMOMSOr 
 
 iQoa 
 
 J BU RN, N. Y. 
 
 LIBP'.RV otCONGflESS 
 
 Two Gocifcs Secclvea 
 
 DEC ? »303 
 
 Co;.>r'.cnt Entrv ^ 
 
 
 Copyright, 1908 bit 
 
 NETTIE I. PREESe 
 AUI. RIGHTS RESERVED 
 
Now it sometimes strang-ely happens, 
 
 On the balmy northern shore 
 Of that ice-bound land of snowdrifts 
 
 Known to Fame as Labrador, 
 That when hearts do stir in bosoms 
 
 And the lover seeks his mate, 
 That ung-racious clod, her father, 
 
 Doth nowise reciprocate. 
 
 But fond hearts have laughed at fathers 
 
 Through these many, many years ; 
 So the love-lorn swain I'm singing 
 
 Scraped away his frozen tears. 
 And as soon's the moon was hidden 
 
 In the silent western sky 
 He sought out his loved one's dwelling 
 
 And did creep in soft and sly. 
 
 Here it may be told in passing 
 
 That in 'foresaid Labrador 
 If a man but steals his dear one 
 
 She is his for evermore, — 
 Which doth spare her much expenses 
 
 For the happy tie that binds, 
 And doth save her gentle neighbors 
 
 From a-peeping through the blinds. 
 
She was lying sweetly sleeping-, 
 
 Rolled so thick in furry skin 
 That she looked like what Dame Nature 
 
 Wraps a caterpillar in ; 
 And of graceful bundles like her 
 
 There were others, three or four ; 
 But the instinct of the lover 
 
 Knows his own the wide world o'er. 
 
 So he deftly g-agged and bound her, 
 
 The sweet being- of his choice, 
 Lest she coyly rend the night-time 
 
 With her muscles and her voice. 
 Then he lovingly reflected 
 
 That a maid who's gagged and bound 
 And doth make no fuss about it 
 
 Is a treasure all around. 
 
 And he might have stood reflecting 
 
 For some sev'ral moments more, 
 With his feet quite absent-minded 
 
 Thawing dimples in the floor, 
 But he thought him of her father, — 
 
 How the fearful creature might, 
 Like the famous gourd of Jonah, 
 
 Go and spring up in the night. 
 
He that fears and does not falter 
 
 Writes his name on Bravery's scroll ; 
 And this Labradorian lover, 
 
 With fear tugging- at his soul, 
 Yet unflinching bent above her 
 
 And like Ellen's Lochinvar 
 He did clasp her to his bosom, — 
 
 Sweetly near, and yet so far ; 
 
 Though when he had wriggled with her 
 
 Through the hole that let him in 
 He did ooze cold perspiration 
 
 Thinking of what might have been, 
 And as he arranged the sledge-robes 
 
 There were chances nine to three 
 That he'd vote at next election 
 
 Solid 'gainst polygamy. 
 
 But his faithful reindeer traveled 
 
 As it ne'er before did go, 
 Safely bringing him ere morning 
 
 To his cheery hut of snow, 
 Where in grateful recognition 
 
 He caressed its steaming side 
 And did banquet it quite sumptuous 
 
 On a scrap of walrus-hide. 
 
Then he turned his fond attention 
 
 To the fig-ure in the sled, 
 And did pick up in his strong- arms 
 
 The sweet maid who'd turned his head ; 
 And the while he carried her in-doors, 
 
 His own lovely sugar plum, 
 His each raptured heart-beat told him 
 
 The Millennium had come. 
 
 Next he lit his whale-oil lantern, 
 
 Thoug-h its odor made him cough 
 And the flame so very cold was 
 
 That it kept a-breaking off ; 
 And he reached down 'mong her tongue-roots 
 
 And with much grace drew from thence 
 The restraining bunch of seal-skin 
 
 That had barred her eloquence. 
 
 Then he softly turned her hood back 
 
 To gaze down into her eyes 
 And discover what he'll feel like 
 
 When he wakes in Paradise ; 
 But some things in Fate's dark pocket 
 
 It would seem would drive us mad. 
 And his first fond, fond look showed him 
 
 That he'd run off with her dad. 
 
SpflrrttottH ntt tijt 3Fflr?gotttg 
 
 What, forsooth, should we be knowing- 
 
 Of our loved land of the free 
 If Columbus's scribe had left him 
 
 Out upon the moist green sea ? 
 So we wonder, as we listen 
 
 To the part that's left untold, 
 What the disappointed swain did 
 
 When his blood ceased running- cold. 
 
 Did he spurn the hapless parent 
 
 And neglect him, lying bound, 
 Till the thirsty reindeer ate him 
 
 Or he froze fast to the ground ? 
 Or did he at next dead midnight 
 
 Silent drop him at his door 
 And snatch up the gentle maiden 
 
 That he'd meant to snatch before ? 
 
 Or, as 'twixt the grim old father 
 
 And the charming littte witch. 
 Did he learn from his cold reason 
 
 That it made no difference which ? — 
 But it's quite extremely likely 
 
 That his grateful eyes grew dim 
 Thinking of the worseness of it 
 
 If her dad had kidnaped him. 
 
Hefprring ta Abam nnh tt|e fatnarrlia 
 
 When our first parent, Adam, was so grossly impolite 
 He ate up Eve's whole apple when she offered him a bite, 
 
 Or did beg God to exempt him 
 
 On the ground that Eve did tempt him, 
 He did bring upon his mem'ry the reproof of ev'ry class, 
 For each son of man since Adam has known how to treat a lass. 
 
 When Noah went a-sailing without any sort of sail 
 
 And Jonah went a-whaling on the wrong side of the whale 
 
 It would hardly be surprising 
 
 If they barely missed capsizing 
 Or that Noah saw his ark 'light where no current e'er had been 
 And poor Jonah had a feeling as if he'd been taken in. 
 
 When Moses's mother hid him in a basket in the Nile 
 
 'Twas good the thing that found him was no prowling crocodile ; 
 
 For it surely would have followed 
 
 That if Moses had been swallowed 
 He could not have led his people out of Egypt's awful thrall 
 To supply us clothes that fit us "like the paper on the vail." 
 
 When Samson slew much Philistines, that they might not slay him first, 
 He gave them the impression that this life is short at worst ; 
 
 And ere now he has an inkling. 
 
 Up beyond the stars a-twinkling. 
 That, inspired by his example, it at length hath come to pass 
 That we do ourselves wield nimbly the proud jawbone of an ass. 
 
When Jacob served for Rachel, and got Leah in her place, 
 It left the best girl single, as is frequently the case ; 
 
 And no doubt he told her father, 
 
 Who had caused him all that bother, 
 'Twas as if he'd ordered oysters and the waiter brought him smelts, 
 And if it should happen often he would deal with someone else. 
 
 They dyed poor Joseph's garment with the blood of some slain thing, 
 And G'liath died himself by the stone from David's sling. 
 
 There is little that's undying 
 
 But the heat where we'll be frying. 
 We have dyed when we were bald and we have bawled when others died, 
 And it's likely we shall always, while we wear our scalps outside. 
 
 The good old prophet Daniel did live in the lions' den. 
 And symp'thized ever after with the many married men. 
 
 There were patriarchs in plenty. 
 
 We could name nineteen or twenty, 
 And they ne'er could hear pork mentioned but they felt a dreadful qua'm ; 
 Though through all the generations they have rev'renced Ahva/iam. 
 
A f irtur? mh a J^ragrr 
 
 Where the pumpkin lies resplendent 
 'Mong the brown shocks of the corn, 
 
 And the red leaves of the maple 
 Laugh the lesser leaves to scorn ; 
 
 Where the happy brooklet, singing, 
 Flaunts its jewels to the sun, 
 
 Dancing, laughing, boasting ever 
 Of the glory it has won ; 
 
 Where belated birds are winging. 
 Weird against the autumn sky, 
 
 And the field-mouse stocks its burrow, 
 Knowing not the reason why, 
 
 There a little lad and lassie, 
 
 Brown and supple-limbed and strong,- 
 Just another bar of music 
 
 In sweet Nature's triumph-song, — 
 
 Walked and noted all the beauty 
 Of the toadstools and the moss, 
 
 Laughed to hear the squirrel's chiding : 
 How dared they his lawn to cross ? 
 
And to be so big and dreadful 
 That they set his heart a-chill ? 
 
 And make noises, when the woodland 
 Was but now so soft and still ? 
 
 Looked across to where the willows 
 Made the pools seem deep and dark ; 
 
 Paused to watch the brown grasshoppers 
 On the gray stump's sun-warmed bark ; 
 
 Gathered nuts beneath the beech-tree, 
 Reached and climbed for bittersweet. 
 
 And still rambled on, unheedful 
 Of the lagging of their feet, — 
 
 Trudging home behind the cattle 
 When the happy day was done. 
 
 Toward the splendid gold and crimson 
 Of the setting of the sun. 
 
 Darling little lad and lassie. 
 Nature's sweetest, dearest part ! 
 
 Thou, O gracious God of Autumn, 
 Keep the beauty in their heart. 
 
Mr. Iroitm's ing 
 
 Mr, Brown came up the back walk at dinner-time leading" a bigf 
 yellow dog". He had no use for the creature, and besides, he was 
 afraid of it, for the red flag of anarchy waved in its eye ; but he 
 had possessed himself of it, and now he had a painful duty to 
 perform, — to show it to his wife and tell her " because why." 
 
 She was not a fear- inspiring" woman, this sharer of his joys, 
 but sometimes a man's proceedings do not appeal to his wife's 
 common sense and she makes remarks ; and if in addition to her 
 common sense her sense of justice must needs be placated he may 
 well stop and consider. So Mr. Brown paused on the walk, and 
 presently he reached the foregone conclusion that if she g"ot mad 
 he would, and if she didn't he might ; it would all depend on her. 
 
 However, he resolved that whatever the end might be he would 
 begin tactfully and like a Christian ; so he led the dog up to the 
 back stoop and said to Mrs. Brown as she came to the door : ' 'Ain't 
 he a dandy? and he's clear gain ! I took him for a debt." 
 
 " What debt? " she asked, with sudden suspicion. 
 The five dollars that Jenkins owed you for embroidering his 
 wife's dress," he answered. 
 
 This fig tree might have borne thistles but that Mrs. Brown 
 caught sight of something that needed immediate attention. Her 
 husband, like the poor, she had always with her. 
 
 She came out, appearing to be mentally disturbed, and rushed 
 down the steps shouting, ' ' See that dog rolling in my geranium- 
 bed ! He'll break down every one of the plants ! " 
 
 " They'll straighten up again after a rain," said Mr. Brown 
 hastily. ' ' What he's doing is destroying the bugs. That dog has 
 a great head." 
 
" Well, he won't have it long ! " cried Mrs. Brown, and she 
 jerked the rope in a way that made her statement seem probable ; 
 and the dog came out. 
 
 " Let's tie him to the pear tree and eat dinner," said Mr, Brown 
 smoothly ; " I'm hungry. " And he added as he surveyed him, 
 tied, " He's a regular lapdog. He'll be lots of company for you 
 these long days." 
 
 " Yes," said Mrs. Brown to herself, " I'm pining for a lapdog 
 that weighs more than I do." 
 
 They went in to dinner, and presently Mr. Brown betook himself 
 out and inspired the dog to cease pawing up the choice young 
 grapevine. 
 
 Then, as an ounce of prevention, he brought the beast up to 
 tie him to a post of the stoop. Just at that moment the kitten came 
 frisking by, and the dog, thinking to roll her as a sweet morsel 
 under his tongue, frisked after her ; but with rare tact and delicacy 
 she scrambled up Mr. Brown's thin summer trousers and coat and 
 stood based (basted, it felt like) on his bald head, — looking some- 
 whatlike an unfinished halo. 
 
 Mrs. Brown came out in loyal haste with the stove-shaker to 
 throw at the cat, but Mr. Brown shouted at her to wait till he 
 stood from under, — and he mentioned to her that she must be a 
 blasted idiot. 
 
 Then he wooed the cat off, very much as he would a bumble- 
 bee, and soon she was sitting on the wood-pile washing her hands 
 of the whole disagreeable affair. 
 
 But Mrs. Brown's hands were not yet washed of it. No woman 
 is so great an idiot that she likes to be called one, — even a blasted 
 one. 
 
 Hence Mrs. Brown was ruffled, and as her husband stood gingerly 
 feeling of his scalp and hoping there was enough of it left for a 
 nest-egg, she said in a tone that he knew was coming, " Now, I'd 
 
like to know why you got that good-for-nothing dog, and what 
 you are going to do with him." 
 
 " Well," he thundered, " I made up my mind the other night 
 when I was hunting from Maine to Floridy for my undershirt that 
 I'd try and get something that you couldn't lend. ' Good-for- 
 nothing ' ! He's good for seventeen times as much as that con- 
 founded cat studded with fishhooks ! That cat's enough to break 
 up a family, and if he doesn't chew her into ribbons I will ! That's 
 a very choice kind of a dog, woman, and he'd sell for a big price 
 if anybody wanted him. But I'm not going to sell him," he 
 concluded grandiloquently ; " he's here to stay, — hey, Juno? " 
 
 "'Juno'?" exclaimed Mrs. Brown; "What do you call him 
 Juno for?" 
 
 " Because it's his name ! Do you think I call him Juno because 
 it's the place where his uncle got choked on a bone ?" 
 
 " I suppose," he continued after a pause, " there's something 
 around that you could rub on my head ? — some mustard poultice 
 or iodine or something ? ' ' 
 
 " There's * Vacuum Oil,' " she answered grimly. 
 
 Then they went in to finish their repast, and the dog pounced 
 upon a neighbor's straying chicken, and rent the air with squawks 
 and barks and flying feathers. Mr. Brown rushed out to the rescue, 
 and Mrs. Brown lent her aid by hurling at the belligerents her 
 partially gnawed ear of corn, striking Mr. Brown on the side of 
 his persecuted head. 
 
 He restored the fowl to its coveted liberty and shortened the 
 dog's rope. 
 
 There's your corn, ' ' he announced coldly as he went in, tossing 
 the half-eaten ear upon Mrs. Brown's plate, with two chicken- 
 feathers and some grass and a plum-pit adhering to it. "A body 'd 
 think to see you perform that it was my fault the dog is here, or 
 that it was I who was munching the squawking hen." 
 
 " I'm sorry, Henry," she said humbly. " Which side did it 
 strike you on? " 
 
" On the side that was toward you," he repHed savag-ely. 
 " I don't suppose that with even your style of throwing- you could 
 have hit me on the other side." 
 
 After another brief season of satisfying- his inner man Mr. 
 Brown went out to restrain the dog from gnawing the stoop post, 
 and brought him into the house. 
 
 He lay down on the floor with his head on his fore paws (the 
 dog did) and fixed his savage eyes on Mrs. Brown, and growled 
 menacingly when she moved. 
 
 At length, when she had exhausted what charity she had that 
 suffereth long and is polite, she said, " Henry, I'm in mortal fear 
 of that blood-thirsty yellow elephant, and I won't have him here." 
 
 " Well, Mary," Mr. Brown replied with unexpected mildness, 
 " you'll probably have to suffer some little annoyance of that sort 
 from him till he gets used to his new surroundings ; but when he 
 once does, you wouldn't trade him for a farm in New Guinea. 
 There won't a neighbor dare come within gun-shot of the house ; 
 nor the grocery-man, nor the mail-carrier, nor — and he's so playful 
 and gentle and kind," Mr. Brown prudently branched off. " You 
 can see for yourself, Mary, what an affectionate glimmer there is 
 in his eyes, — and look at those teeth when he growls at you ! 
 Aren't they splendid ? Why he could bite clear through you and 
 three men couldn't pull him off. And his bark is blood-curdling ! 
 And such endurance! I think," he continued after reflecting, 
 " we'll keep him out in the stall. Come on, Juno ! " 
 
 "You'll have to give him something to eat, of course," said 
 Mrs. Brown, with an expression of tone which indicated that she 
 thought Mr. Brown ought to have known that little without being 
 told. 
 
 " Something to eat ! " he shouted. " What do you propose to 
 feed him ? Why, woman, that dog'll eat as much as you would, 
 or an ox ! " 
 
' * Well, he's got to have something, ' ' replied Mrs. Brown. ' ' I 
 can't have an animal of that size starving on my conscience. And 
 besides, there isn't room enough for him in that stall ; he'll 
 stagnate." 
 
 " Stagnate ! Look at an anaconda ! " he exclaimed, thrusting 
 out his arm so unexpectedly that she cast a horrified look in the 
 direction of his gesture. ' ' Look at an anaconda ! A museum-man 
 will go out into the — desert and catch one a good deal bigger than 
 that dog is, and keep it for years in a herring-box. And as to 
 feeding it, he gives it a decent-sized horse to eat once in three or 
 four months. And does the thing suffer for lack of food and exer- 
 cise ? Not at all ! A good, healthy anaconda could knock you out 
 in one round. I'm not sure but it could make it uncomfortable 
 for me, even." 
 
 Then the dog settled the food question for the time by seizing 
 the roast of meat from the table and wafting himself and it out 
 through the window-screen. 
 
 He lay in the bed of pansies and ate his prize, and then Mr. 
 Brown took possession of him and shut him up in the barn. 
 
 In the wee, sma' hours, when his "bark," coupled with his 
 
 endurance," was making night hideous, his owner remarked 
 
 savagely : " If that brute behaves for the next few days as he has 
 
 so far, I'll take him back to Jenkins tomorrow morning ! He can 
 
 pay the five dollars for that confounded embroidery in cash." 
 
 ' I wouldn't mention it to him, if I were you," said Mrs. Brown. 
 ' He and his wife came and paid it last week. He only wanted 
 to get rid of the dog. ' ' 
 
 Then silence reigned in the sleeping-room — and out over the 
 flood of it floated the dog's staunch bark. 
 
©lie (Urowhxlt 
 
 A Tale of Distress and Disappointment 
 For the Young 
 
 Once upon a time, on a rocky pile 
 There did sit a fat old crocodile 
 A-looking 'round on the things that grew 
 And wishing much he'd a lunch or two ; 
 But the one thing handy was just a clam, 
 And its shell might puncture his diaphragm. 
 
 So he scrambled into a tall, green tree 
 To devour some peanuts ; and then he 
 Observed he'd made quite a sad mistake, 
 That threatened him with a stomach-ache ; 
 For a tree-toad said he had always found 
 That the nice fresh peanuts are under ground. 
 
 Then he clambered up far above the tree 
 
 And with patience watched to see if he 
 
 Could catch his claw in the silky fur 
 
 Of a fine, fat, juicy Skye terrier ; 
 
 But an old owl told him he'd known from birth 
 
 That Skye terriers live on the soft green earth. 
 
 Then he smiled and said that he begged to say 
 
 He had never liked them anyway. 
 
 And fluff ring down to a mossy bog 
 
 He dug down deep for a fat ground-hog ; 
 
 But a fish- worm said, with a cheerful flop, 
 
 That he'd find ground hog in a sausage-shop. 
 
 Then the croc'dile muttered with much disgust 
 
 That the English language is the wiat / 
 
 And ate a pig with a yellow spot 
 
 That went to swim when its ma said not. 
 
 And he told the good little girls and boys 
 
 That he chewed very quiet : the food made the noise. 
 
Moman a Msl^ 
 
 A man loved a maiden, as sometimes occurs, 
 And he gjacefuUy asked her if he might be hers. 
 
 She told him she'd take him to have and to hold 
 Till the sun pours forth darkness and blue flame is cold. 
 But one day she wondered, and the wondering grew, 
 If he snored like her pa and some others she knew. 
 
 She vowed if he did, even much less than those. 
 She'd return him his ring and their romance should close, 
 And he could go on, with his heart like a stone, 
 Sadly trav'ling the rest of Life's pathway alone ; — 
 Though she'd a suspicion a merciless fate 
 Would prevent her from knowing till it was too late. 
 
 He called that same evening, — so weary with toil 
 And Life's haps and its scraps and its noise and turmoil 
 That, spite of his efforts, he fell asleep soon 
 With his head on the table, his ear in a spoon, 
 And straightway he snored, without any prelude, 
 Till she thought of a menag'rie imploring for food. 
 
 And when she'd discovered his nose could give birth 
 
 To about ev'ry vocal contortion on earth 
 
 She said to herself, — and so any one might, — 
 She'd be blamed if she'd listen to //ta/ ev'ry night ! 
 
 And then he evolved such a horrible snore 
 
 That his sleep-angel, frightened, fled out of the door. 
 
 He forthwith awoke, and it seemed he might weep, — 
 
 And he told her with pain that his ear was asleep. 
 She flew to his side, and with velvety pa'm 
 She caressed it and soothed it as the sea does a clam. 
 
 And told him she'd love him forever and more ; 
 
 But no doubt she was grateful his ear did not snore. 
 
October 17, 1908.— The German balloon Plauen was 
 picked up Wednesday night in the North Sea. Cling- 
 ing to it were the two aeronauts. — Press Dispatch. 
 
 Balloons were invented for purposes of aerial navigfation, biding" 
 the time when we become ang-els. 
 
 With the spreading: of their fame Mother Goose's fashion of 
 riding- through the air on a gander fell into disfavor, — chiefly 
 because ganders cannot fly high : their sex keeps them down. 
 Furthermore, a gander when flying at a rapid rate is likely to 
 stumble and spill his rider out. 
 
 The advice, " Go up, thou bald head," which the children gave 
 to Elisha, seems to indicate that there were balloons in Bible days ; 
 and the fact that the famished bears presently ate the children 
 suggests that the latter were the inventors, for inventors are wont 
 to die of hunger. But the first balloon of modern times was made 
 in 1783, in France.by two brothers, Stephen and Joseph Montgolfier. 
 
 The Montgolfier balloons were filled with air heated by a fire 
 built beneath them, and aeronauts were obliged to supply them- 
 selves with fuel for a reheating when the balloon began to descend ; 
 but soon hydrogen gas instead came into use as a means of inflation, 
 several pounds of the latter weighing only as much as one pound 
 of air. 
 
 While those first balloons must necessarily have been crude as 
 compared with ours, they furnished the voyager one means of 
 death that in ours is hopelessly lacking. 
 
 In 1785 two men traveling in a hydrogen balloon and deter- 
 mined at all hazards to be safe, carried suspended from it a small 
 montgolfiere with its fuel, and at the proper time — if there be a 
 proper time for folly — built a fire. As they rose into thinner air 
 
the gas expanded, and forcing- its way down through the neck of 
 the balloon came in contact with the fire and ignited. The balloons 
 burned and the men hastened out. 
 
 Whatever slight disagreement aeronauts in these harrowing 
 circumstances may have as to which planet they shall start for, 
 they finally hit upon the earth. There is no place like home. 
 
 These two men hoped to reach their goal in safety by climbing 
 down along each other's body; but they found themselves to be 
 the center of so many directions that they resembled a molested 
 porcupine, and in their momentary confusion as to which direction 
 was the right one — they not having blazed any part of their trail 
 but the end — they lost their hold on the atmosphere and fell. 
 When Adam fell he " lit down " on Eve for having tempted him ; 
 but these unfortunate men struck upon the rocks, and it was ascer- 
 tained from the fragments of flesh and bone gathered up where 
 they alighted that they were dead when found. 
 
 This somewhat fatal ending dismayed other persons, — but not 
 for long. They reasoned that it was not the fault of the balloon : 
 the men would have died if they had fallen three thousand feet 
 out of a baby-carriage. There is no better use for common sense 
 than to remove prejudice with it, and indeed in the century and a 
 quarter that has passed since then fewer persons have died of 
 balloons than from all other causes combined. 
 
 Most aerial voyages have been prompted by the universal desire 
 of mortal to be alone with his conscience. A few have been made 
 in the interest of science, and men have observed that high above 
 the earth the scenery is monotonous and vegetation scarce, and 
 that the cold increases with the distance. In truth, at the height 
 of thirty-seven thousand feet — the greatest from which men have 
 returned — one of the two aeronauts froze himself helpless, and the 
 other would have done so if he had not pulled the valve-rope with 
 his teeth after his hands were stiffened by the cold. His teeth, 
 being made of bone, remained limber. 
 
Digressively, the reference to the greatest height from which 
 voyag-ers have returned brings sad wonderment as to what became 
 of those who remained. They must have grown to feel very exclu- 
 sive, — "stuck up," as it is sometimes expressed. 
 
 Considerable difficulty is experienced in breathing the very cold 
 air of the upper currents ; but presumably the difficulty of breath- 
 ing- very hot air is quite as great, — which may be what causes us to 
 stay dead so long. 
 
 At great distances from the earth the microbes of disease are 
 rare, as rare as the surrounding atmosphere, or as a properly- 
 cooked beefsteak ; the ones which aeronauts encounter oftenest 
 being those of suspended animation, with the germs of the falling- 
 sickness coming next. 
 
 It has been ascertained, too, that sounds are audible in the 
 upper regions in proportion to the amount of moisture in the air. 
 It is on record that one voyager heard at a height of two miles the 
 barking of a little dog — which may, however, have been a Skye 
 terrier. The direction from which the sound came is not specified. 
 
 Balloons have been used to some extent in warfare, — national 
 warfare exclusively ; they have not yet found a foothold in fami- 
 lies. They have been employed to advantage in observing the 
 movements of the enemy ; but probably their chief use in this 
 connection has been to enable the aeronaut to look over the side 
 of his car and wonder what would happen to him if the enemy 
 should spring upon him. 
 
 The balloon, however, is still a very unmanageable object, it 
 being impracticable for its occupant to lie on his stomach and steer 
 it with the toe of his boot. When this slight defect is remedied 
 and a good deal is accomplished in the matter of its size it will 
 afford means whereby an army may precipitate itself upon the 
 enemy with great slaughter. 
 
 Little or no improvement has been made upon the original form 
 of balloons, but at the present time common coal-gas is used for 
 
the inflation. Filling them with a substance lighter than the air 
 increases their rising power. Great fame awaits the man who 
 shall inflate a balloon with something heavy and explore the bowels 
 of the earth. 
 
 In passing through a heavy bank of clouds, or in crossing the 
 Milky Way, the weight is sometimes so much increased by moisture 
 deposited that the balloon is with difficulty prevented from violently 
 smiting the earth and jarring off some of the inhabitants. Natur- 
 ally this is a serious drawback ; but the downward tendency could 
 be offset by the aeronaut's quickly eating a quantity of anti-fat 
 equal in weight to that of the accumulated moisture. But at 
 present he carries with him ballast, to be cast out when occasion 
 demands. 
 
 The throwing out of ballast is an operation which requires much 
 tact and delicacy. If the aeronaut raises the object to the back 
 corner of his neck to throw it he is likely to be mistaken for a 
 woman and be greatly distressed for fear the missile will hit 
 somebody. 
 
 Ballast should be discharged in small quantities. An experi- 
 enced aeronaut hesitates before even letting his voice fall, or drop- 
 ping his eyes, — or his h's, if he chances to be English. 
 
 One voyager observed that the throwing out of a small bone 
 caused him to rise twenty or thirty yards. If persons falling from 
 balloons could remember this and throw out one or two of their 
 bones they might be able to remain in the air until rescued. 
 
DEC 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
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