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A COMEDIETTA, Jn (S>nt %tt I o COBBECTLT PBINTED FBOM THE PBOMPTEB S COPY, WITH THE CAST OW CHABACTEB8, COSTUMES, SCENE AND PBOPEKXr PLOTS, BELA- TIVE POSITIONS OF THE DBAMATIS PKltSONiB, SIDES OP ENTBANCE AND EXIT, DISPOSITIONS OF CHABACTEBS, ETC., ETC. NEW YORK: Copyright secured 1879, by .£»>i^ HAPPY HOURS COMPANY, No. 6 BEEKMAN STREET* ^1 HUEEAH FOE PAEISI ■!0:- SBAMATIS FEESOlTiB. M. Savigny. Bruno, Hz's Valet. Hekriette, M. Savigny's Wife, COSTUMES.— MODEEN PKOPERTIES. Curtains to French window. Screen. Piano. Round table, with cover, R. A smaller table, with handbell on it, i,. Cabinet with bric-a-brac. Easy chair, stools, and other chairs. Easel, with picture on it covered by a shawl. Small table oppo- site window. Two hats and hat-brush on it. Newspapers. Photograph in case. Another photograph the same size. Large plum bun. A pile of books and blotting- book on table. Statuette, Venice glass. Feather duster. Articles of gentlemen's wearing apparel in cabinet. Small trunk, filled with toys, discovered on stage, L. A large Polichinelle under round table R. Two letters. Account book. EXPLANATION OF THE STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means first entrance right and right. L., first entrance left and left. S.E.R., second entrance right. S.E.L., second entrance left. T.E.R., third entrance right. T.E.L., third entrance left. F.E.R., fourth entrance right. F.L.L., fourth entrance left. U.E.R., upper entrance right. U.E.L., upper entrance left. R.F., right flat. L.F., left flat. R.C., right of centre. L.C., left of centre. C, centre. CD., centre doors. C.R.v centre towards right. C.L.., centre towards left Observing you are supposed to face the s^udience. HUREAH FOE PAEIS. Scene. — A Drawing-Room. Centre doors. Doors s.e.b. and s.e.l, French xoindow, u.e.l. Screen before door s.e.l. Piano, b. at hack. liable B.C. Cabinet, toiUt bric-a-brac, l. at back. Easel in the middle of stiKje, haJfwap back; on the easel a picture covered by a shawL JEasy chair, stools, chairs, &g. Small table opposite window, L., on tohich are hats and a hat bruslu M. Satiqny discovei^ed standing before the easel ; he lifts the shawl, and looks at the portrait. Savigny. Dear little Paul ! He seems to smile at me. I am satis- fied at last. Though painted from memory, I have caught the like- ness admirably. Enter Bbuno, c. door, Savigny. Is that you, Bruno ? (Covers the picture hastily, and sits b.o. Bruno. Yes, sir, I took the liberty of bringing the newspapers. (Down ii.o. Savigny. ( Glancing at them. ) The Sylph ! Journal of Fashion 1 Brnuo, these fire for Madame. Bruno. That's true ! (Aside. J See what it is to think forever of my Adelaide. Savigny. Is Madame at the baths ? Bruno. Yes, for the last fifty-nine minutes. 4 SUEEAH rOE PAEI8 ! Savigny. How does she feel to-daj' ? Bruno. I can't say how she feels, Monsieur, but 1 feel that she la very poorly. Savigny. Why do you say that ? Bruno. Hasn't monsieur observed, as I have, that the climate of Belgium is far from beneficial to a lady of Madame's temperament ? Sdvigny. This is the first I've heard of it. Bruno. Ever since Madame came to Spa she has grown weaker and weaker ; her appetite is goue, her eyes are dim, she is very pale, she has, at times, a dry, hacking congh. Savigny. You've lost your senses, Bruno, I see none of these alarming symptoms. Bruno. Monsieur may be right, but I must say that I think the air of Paris, the good, healthy air of Paris, would be very much better for Savigny. (Laughs. ) What fee do you charge, Dr. Bruno ? Bruno. (Seriously.) None at all, sir. I give you my advice free — gratis— without charge for nothink ! (Si'ihs. Savigny. Thank you ! I am going to the studio for half an hour. I shall be back to breakfast. Give me my gray hat. (Bruno brings a black hat from the table u) My good fellow, when I want a black hat I will ask for it. (Goes himself and gels the gray hat; is about to leave the room, but returns towards Beuno. Bruno. I know what monsieur is going to say. "Bruno, don't touch the little shawl that covers the picture." Monsieur doesn't appreciate me. I'm not one of the fellows that finger everything. (Aside. ) I'd rather touch nothing. It's much less fatiguing. Savigny. Brush this hat. Bruno. ( Takes a brush from l. table, and brushing hard the wrong way.) Every morning when mousietir goes out, he says— over and over again— •« don't !" (Drops the hat. ) Madame will'be very care- ful how she uncovers this picture, after her unfortunate curiosity about the last, the one monsieur called the "Aboriginal," or some such name. He kept it veiled like this one. (Drops the hat.) Madame, a true daugliter of Eve, couldn't stand that. She'd for- gotten all iibout Bluebeard ; so, iu spite of the prohibition— probably because of it— she lifted tlie veil and saw— well, we won't say what. (Drops the hat— aside.) Hang this hat! Wasn't Monsieur angry, and w(is)i't Madame confused ! Savigny. (Picks up the hat, and takes the brush from Bruno.) Give it to me, you will never through with it. Bruuo. Is this a companion picture, sir ? (Savigny exits c, icith' out answering.) He didn't hear me. At last! Here I am alone! (Sits donm in an arm chair.) Now I can think about my Adelaide. Oli!^ (To the audience.) You don't know niy Adelaide? Well, that's a pity! Imagine an angel. I'll show you her photograph. (Takes two photographs from his pocket,- shoios one to the audiehce.) HURRAH FOB PABIS ! 5 There she is, in the costume of ft comet, just as she looked the night I took her to a masked ball, like a ray of light. Her dress had a spangled tail— there it is ! (Looks ikenderly at llie photograph. ) And here's miue (shows the other) as a Circassian nobleman. I was living then with M. Maurice (Madajiie's cousin), and I borrowed the dress of him — that is, I took it. I did look wonderfully handsome iu it. You should have seen my false beard ! In a moment of enthusi- asm Adelaide kissed me. ( Clasping his hands. ) Adelaide, oh ! And then she promised to marry me iu a month. Now, see my luck! Before the month expired Madame was taken I'll, and that idiot of a doctor sent her o£f to Spa. She couldn't go without me, of course, and here I am a hundred thousand miles from Adelaide— more or less! Oh ! ( T'tkes an enormoiis plain-hnn out of his pocket, and be- gins to eat. ) They say love is calculated to destroy one's appetite. It improves mine. ( Eating voraciously. ) This separation is killing me ! I am trying now to make them tiun me off. ( With his viouth full.) I do the most provoking things. I lose half their propert}', I break everything I touch, I'm very insolent. I never answer the bell, No u.se! You would really think that Monsieur and Madame had no eyes, no ears, nor ten:pers. I mean to bring matters to a crisis to-(iay. I've got to think of some new and intolerable perform- ance. rBe'll rings) There's Madame! (Bell again- he does not stir.) Impatient, is she? ( Bell louder than before. ) Madame was Bent to Spa to calm her nerves ! (Bed rings violently again and again.) The waters haven't done her a bit of good. (Sits in an arm-chair.) I know that from her way of ringing. Enter Heneiette, door 6.e.r. Ilenriette. (Speaks mildly.) Bruno, Bruno, are you deaf? Bruno. Not yet, madame. Henrieite. What are you doing there? You were asleep ? Bruno. Oh, no, madame. I was trying to think. ( Mysteriously pantomimes with his fingers. Henriette. What do you say ? Bruno. (Checking himself.) I said I was putting things to rights! * ( Crosses to 1.. Henriette. (Smilling at the appearance of the room.) Or wrongs! Bruno. (Testily.) I was putting things to rights as much as I can in a room where I'm forbidden to touch anything, (Aside.) She is awfully nervous. Now is the time to strike. Henriette, (R.) Help me to clear this table. Bruno. (L.) I obe)', madame, but I protest. (Takes a pile of hooks in his apron— drops half— as he picks them up, drops the other half.) Formerly, before I came to Monsieur Savignj', I lived with another painter, who had a young lady, a model, there every day — she never dared to touch Monsieur's things. Henriette. That is quite another matter. I am the wife of M. Saviguy. 6 HUBBAH FOB PA BIS I Bruno. (Aside.) That's a mighty poor reason ! Henrielte. Have my newspapers come ? Bruno. (Taking them from his pocket.) Here they are, madame, Henrietta. Jourual of Fine Arts ! The Archaeologist ! Bruno. Beg pardon, my head is tops)'-turvy. llere are madame's papers. (Giving her those which are on the table.) Madame, might I say a few words ? Henriette. What is it ? Bruno. Does madame like the way I brush her boots ? Henriette. Not very well. Here, take this blottiug-book. Bruno. Do I take proper care of Monsieur's clothes ? Henriette. Indeed you do not ; you neglect them sadly. Bruno. Don't I ? It's very sad. I have ruined your new kid boots, and as for the buttons on Monsieur's coat, I literally mow them o£f!. It's infamous — that's the word, vifamous ! Henriette. Try to do better, that's all. Pass me that statuette. Bruno. (Oiviug her the statuette. ) And the way I wait at table! It is pitiable ! Madame must remember how I smashed that pile of plates — old Sevres— just as easily as if it were earthenware ! And that macaroni I spilt on Monsieur's head ! And the curry 1 toppled over into the custard! Such a waste, too! Nobody could eat the curry, and nobody could eat the custard. If I were Monsieur and Madame I should send me flying throiigli the window. Henriette. What do you mean, Bruno ? Bruno. Why this ! That my heart is elsewhere. Question, Why did I come to live with madame ? Answer, To be near my Adelaide ! (Strikes an attilude. Henrietta. (Smiling. ) And to break my plates ? Bruno. (Absent-mindedly. ) Yes, to break your plates— that is, no, no, to see my Adelaide at all hours. She is lady's maid to the lady that lives opposite to madame. Well, what was the end of it? I'd no sooner settled myself in madame's house before madame car- ried me off to Belgium, three hundred and ninety-nine miles and a halfhom Paris. I've measured it. I want to know from madame herself how long she wants to stay at Spa. Henriette. Till I am cured. Bnmo. When will that be ? Henriette. After twentj'-two baths. Bruno. And madame has taken ? Henrietta. Seven. £nmo. Only seven ! (Aside.) Take seven from twenty-two, fif- teen remain. Condemned to fifteen more days of anguish ! I can never bear it. Three hundred and sixty-five hours before I see my Adelaide. Oh, impossible ! Tiie hairs of my heart are turning white- (Alond. ) Can't I make madame get rid of me? Henrielte. Take care of this Venice glass, I value it. Bruno. ( Taking it from Henriette. ) I am sure madame didn't pay a cent less than she could have bought it for it Paris, and the^ EUBBAH FOB PASIS I 7 the trouble of taking it home and the duties. (Drops the glass, which breaks to pieces. ) T.i-tii-tii ! Henrielle. ( Gently. ) Ob, my poor glass ! Bruno. (Viideidiy.) It wusu't my fault! The obstinate thing wonld slip Ihrougli my fingers. Madame needn't call nie an iuiot, a careless fellow! Am 1 to put up with abuse? It's too bad! I'd rather give warning at once than be treated like the yciim of the ear! Ill Htiirielie. ( Astouished. ) Do you want to leave us ? Well, then, give me your account-hook. Bruno. ( Tnkiinj it onl of his pocket.) Here it is! (Aside, joy- futh/. ) There ! Ive done it now ! I'm free, free ! lienriette. Bruno, I am sorry for you. I will overlook your con- duct. I shouM be grieved to break off your marriage. You can stay. Your Adelaide is, no doubt, an honest girl, and woidd not marry a mau dismissed from a good place. Bnuio. (Aside. ) Tiiat's true ! 1 never thought of that ! Change of base! In nautical Linguage, I'll luff! (Aloud.) Madame will please pardon a luoment of — of nervous excitement. She may be quite sure that in future Benrielte. (Smiling.) You will break rather more than usual ! Bruno. (Seriously.) That was not exactly what I meant to Bay. Henrietle. (Laughing.) I should hope not. (Begins to look over her neicspaper. Bruno. (Aside.) The wisest thing to do would be to drive inailame herself back to Paris. Difficult! More difficult than smashing china ! Henrielle. Bruno ! (Aside. ) What an odd servant ! Bruno. (Aside.) If I only knew Ijow to get at her cousin Mau- jrice, I'd let him know we were here. He'd come, fast enough. Monsieur is a little jealous of him. Oh, as jealous as Madame is of that littte actress at the Palais-Royal, Jealousy ! Ah, what a bless- ing in families. One never knows happiness until he's had the jaundice ! Henrielle. Bruno! (Aside.) He is in the clouds ! Bruno. (Aside ) Monsieur would get in a fine state of mind, and whirl us back to Paris by the first train. Yes, but how can I manage it? ( li'Jleds. ) I have it! The photograph of my Ade- laide ! Oh ! Ah. ! Here it goes into the pocket of Monsieur's over- coat ! (Puts the photograph into Vie pocket) That's enough for Madame's jealousy. Tllat's the green-eyed lobster JMadame will par- take of, as yhakespeare says. That will do her business, while my photo<.Miiph shall drive Monsieur crazy. Capital! It won't be long before the house is a lunatic asylum ! Jltnrielle. ( Looking up from her paper. ) Bruno! What are you doing ? * Bruno. I am brushing Monsieur's overcoat. (Holds the coat up» 8 BUBBAH FOR PABI8 t side down, and divers papers and the photograph fall out of the pockets and scdtler ahonl. J Well done, stupid ! Henrieite. Auother awkwarduess ! Bruno. I'm iucoriigible ! AVbat would Monsieur say if be were Lere ? Henriette. (Picking up photograph.) Whose likeness is this ? I don't know it. Bmno. Monsieur has had it some months. Henriette. ( Lookitig at it.) I can't recall the face. Bruno. (Looking over HENBiKTTJi's shoxuder, and speaking aside.) Attention! I open fire. (Aloud.) It hxiks like some celehrit}'. An actress, perhiips, at the Folies-Mariguy, or (pointedly) the PuUiis- Uuval. Henriette, (Quickly.) The Palais-Royal i Bruno. (Aside, j Lookout! Henriette. Bruno, were you ever at the Palais-Royal ? Bruno. Yes, Madame, a hundred times. Henriette. Do you know an actress named Lisa Bluet? Bruno. Yes, hut not so well as some gentlemen who Henriette. (Quickly.) Enough! Bruno, (Looking (it the photograph.) Madame is right. There is a something, hut this one is rather more — no, perhaps rather less Henriette. ( With agitation. ) He still tliinks of her ! Bruno. (Aside.) Jealousy! There's the lobster ! I told you so! (Savigny .tpeaks outside c— Aloud. ) Here's Monsieur coming in to breakfast, and I haven't brushed his overcoat. (Aside. ) The clouds are gathering, the storm's brewing! Thunder! Lightning! A blow-up ! (Exit s. e. l. Enter M. Savignt, from c. door. Henriette. (B.C., aside.) I will make him own it. Here he is ! Savigny. (l.c.) Well, my darling, why don't you kiss me for good morning? Henriette. (Aside.) Excuse me. Savigny. How are yen to-day ? Henriette. Very ill — that^s to saj', very well! Savigny. Does your head ache ? Henriette. No ! (Satigny rings the helL Re'enter Bbuno, instantly, s.e.l, Savigny. ( To Bruno. ) Has anything come for me ? Bnuio. No. monsieur, notliink ! S'lvigny. Strange ! I expected a letter. Henriette. ( Qnickhj. ) From your mother, no doubt ? S-iviyny. No, the Paris mail was in long ago. From Gaston, at Vichy. Bru7io. (Aside— a little up l.) Ho, M. Gaston is at Vichy ! I'm glad to know it ....... HUBBAH FOB PABIS ! 9 Eenriette. (Aside.) Vichy! Ah! (Aloud.) Vichy is a charm- ing place, is it jiot? iSdvigny. Chaiuiiug! Henrielie. You weut there often before our marriage, didn't you ? ISiivigvy. For the waters, yes ; bat now my health is perfect, thanks to you and Henrietle. (Nervously.) Wasn't it at Vichy that the Palais-Roj'al troupe was playing two years ago ? Sdvigny, Yes. IIe)irieUe. Did you go to the theatre ? Sdvigny. Yes. Heiirletle. Every night ? Sdvigny. Yes, Htnrielte. (More and more nervous.) Then, perhaps, you saw a certain actress named Lise Bluet, more remarkable for the innocence of her name and the beauty of her face than for her talents ? Suvigny. Yes. Heiirielle. Did you hear of a duel about this — lady, between a cele- brated literary man and a young artist who expects to be cele- brated. S(cvigny. Yes. Henrietle. Tlie artist was wounded ; but I am told he triumphed in other ways, he won the lady ? Sdvigny. Yes. Henriette. Au actress! There's a name invented, I believe, for just such actresses — women without talent, only engaged for their pretty faces? Savigny. Yes, JJenrieUe. They are called utility actresses are they not ? Sdvigny. Yes. Henrielie. Their utility is displayed in striking tableaux, is it not? In fetes, and fiery scenes. They wear strange funcy-dresses — beginning late and ending early — such as the White Cat, the Rain of Gold, a JSalad-Dressing, often a Star, a Constellation, sometimes a — Comet ! Savigiiy. Yes. Henrietle. (Showing him the photograph.) Don't you think it very like her? Savigny. No. Henriette. ( Grovcing excited. ) Why have you never taken me to the Palais-Royal ? I know young girls can't go there, but is there any reason why a married woman shouldn't enjoy good acting ? Sdvigny. No. Hoirieile. (Irritated.) Why have you never told me anything about your affairs? Wliy didn't you tell me about your duel about that lady ? Do you suppose I should be such a fool as to be jealous of the past ? Savigny. No. 10 HUBBAH FOB PABIS ! Bi'uno. Oh, no ! (Savigny turns indignantly — Bbuno turns aside.) Oh, yes! Ileurietle. (Explosively.) Then yon are much mistaken ! I am jealous, very jealous of your late romance ; simply because you never told me about it. Ah, you haven't got to the last chapter of it yet, or you wouldn't keep her photograph in your pocket next your heart ! Savigny. I don't keep her photograh for the good reason that I never had it. He^irietle. A likely story ! Savigny. It may not be likely, but it is true. Henrielte. Then njay I ask liow I happened to find it on the floor just where Bruno was brushing your overcoat? Bruno saw it too! Savigny, For heaven's sake don't bring Bruno into this discussion. C Perceives Buuno, who during this dialogue has been grinning at door, B.E.ii., u)id making signs.) What are you doing here? Brtmo. I'm waiting till monsieur tells me to go. Savigny. Begone ! Bruno. I'm gone ! ( Exit b.-e.j^. Savigny. ( To Henbiette, to/io sits doion. ) Now, Henriette, listen to me. I don't know how this picture got here, but I swear to you Henriette. That it is not the portrait of Mademoiselle Lise Bluet ? Savigny. Yes. Henriette. Well, if it is not Mademoiselle Lise Bluet, who is it then? Savig)>y. I don't know anything about it. Henriette. You are a very poor deceiver. Savigny. I'll try to improve. Henriette. I assert positively that that is the portrait of your old flame developed into a comet ! Savigny. You are mistaken, Henriehe. Prove it by giving me that photograph for my album. Savigny. To be sure, take it ! ( Gives it to her, Henriehe. I understand ! You have plenty more ! Savigny. C Inipatieidly.) Conie, put an end to tliis ! Henriehe, Oh, you are angry, are you? I've touched the right spot at last. I shall retire to my room. {Swig-hy dues not stir. ) I forbid you to follow me. (He does not move.) Ah, I will be re- venged! (ExUb.k.r. Be-enter Bbuno, s.e.l., feather-duster in hand, and pretending to dast llie furniture. Bruno. (Aside.) We are getting on finely ! That lobster's three parts cooked ! At this rate we shall be off to Paris this evening. Ah, she little knows what awaits her, my Adelaide. ( Flourishing his feathers. HUKBAH FOR PARIS ! 11 Siivigny. (Much agitated, and stalking hastily up and down, Bruno folio loing him. ) Life will be iutolerable — mukiug me such a sceue — to Die, a model Luybaud ! Bruno. (Aside, foUoiclng liirn step hy step.) Oood, I tell that to Madauje afler we get to Paris. Saviginj. ( Si ill walking.) But if I'm to have tbe odium of it, I'll make up for lost time. Bruno. (Aside, folloioing. ) I sba'n't tell that to Madame. Savigny. (Still walking.) Heiiriette is good, I kuow that, but she is passiouate aud jealous to excess. Bruno. (Aside, still following. ) He's not jealous? Oh, no ! A regular Othello, minus the blacking ! Sdvigny, ( Walking faster than, ever.) If I don't put a stop to this, our home will become a hell! Suppose, to punish her, I were to go off to Vichy with Gaston ? Bruno. (Aside. J Bless him ! Then Madame and I will go to Paris. Savigny. (Stopping sJiort and reflecting.) No! Anger is a vile counsellor. Henriette is 3'ouug and inexperienced. I ought to con- sider her jealousy a proof of love. An honest, straight-forward ex- planation is the right thing. Bnino. ( Who has stopped short behind him — Aside.) No, no, I'm opposed to that. Savigny. ( Walking again. ) I'll take the first step. She'll thank me for it. ( (joes to Henriette's door, s.e.r., and knocks. Henriette. ( Williin, s.e.r. ) I'm not at home — I'm out. Savigny. (Smiling.) Still furious ! Bruno ! Bruno ! ( Turns suddenly, and runs against Bruno. Bruno. Here I am, sir, at your heels ! Savigny. And what are you doing at my heels, sirrah ? Brxino. (R.) Waiting orders. Savigny. Well, give me somethiug to write with. (Aside.) I've been to hasty ! Half a dozen kind words, and all will be for- gotten. Bruno. (Aside.) We'll see about that ! My portrait — from Cir- cassia — will put a flea in his ear ! That will make him hop ! The male and female lobster will be at it then. Iioant to go to Paris, and I me'in to go to Paris. ( Slips Ids photograph inlo lln^Ri^TrK's hlotting-book and arraiiges it on Vie table. ) Here is all monsieur wants — pens, paper, ink — (Aside) — and a portrait which he doesu't want. Savigny. Very good ! ( Opens the blotter and sees the photograph. ) What's that? Bnino. (Aside. ) Beginning of the second chapter ! Savigny. A strange face auioug my wife's papers ! Bruno. (Aside. ) A strange face, indeed ! Not as strange as he thinks for. Attention! I'm going to charge! (Aloud.) It's a handsome gentleman disguised as a Circassian — from Gircassia. 12 BUBRAH roil PARIS I Hiisu't lilaclame got a cousin who travelled in those parts? Perhaps it's lie. Sdvigvy. You're u fool ! BrnhO. ( Aside, lauijUUKj. ) Not// ^.av'ujhy. (Aside.) The fellow umy be right, after nil! I have only seen that Maurice once, and then at a distauce, but I could Bwtar to his curroty red beard. (AloxLd.) Well, he's au ugly briile! Bniuo. (Aside, discomJiUed. ) Hang him, he is bliuded with jealousy ! Sivl'pii}. Henriette loved him before she knew me. They were eiigjiged when she was a mere girl, There's a good deal iu first love ! It's tenacious as the devil ! Brniio. (Aside. J That's the way I loved my Adelaide ! Iu her swaddling clothes, and nothing can extirpate her image from my heart ! Savifptg. But if she loves him, why ]->ut on that jealousy of me? Was it a nisei' Did she hope to drive me away? To get rid of me? Yes! Ko doubt the cousiu is here waiting a favorable moment. Bruno. (Nodding — aside.) Hi, do j'ou seethe green-eyed mon- ster hopping round ? Hi, hi— st' boy ! Saviijny. ( Turning round. ) Bruno, tell Madame I wish to speak to her at once — at once, do yon hear ? (Henriette opens door s.e.b. Bruno. Monsieur, here is Madame. Enter Henriette, door s.e.r. Sdvlgny. Very good ; begone! (Aside.) Now for a te(e-a-leete. Bruno. (Aside, pointing to the scieen. ) A triangular lete-a-tete, if you please, sir. I'm not to be left out in the cold. ( Kut s.K.L. — Comes hack instantly and slips behind the screen, ire)irieUe. (r ) I have reflected soberly. I beg you to pardon my late excitement which was hasty and ill-advised. My sense of pro- priety forbids me to place the portrait of a — Lise Bluet iu my album beside those of your mother and sister. I have, therefore, the honor to return it. Bruno. (Popping his head above the screen. ) A first-rate observa- tory ! Savlgny. (Sharply.) A good offer, madame ; we will now make an exchange. Henriette. I don't understand you. Bruno. (Aside. ) I do ! Savlgny. Give and take ! For me, that picture — for you, iliis one! ( Gives her the photograph of Bruno. Henriette. A portrait ! Whose portrait, if you please ? Savigny. You ought to know better than I do. I found it in your blotting-book. HUBBAH FOB PA BIS ! 13 Henriette. Ab, indeed! So j'ou coudesceud to spy among my papers ! Bruno. (Aside.) Pretty good that ! Savigny. By accident, I assure you. Bruno. (Aside.) Tliat's me ! I'm the accident ! Ilenrielle. I wish I could believe you, sir. The whole charge is absurd. Siivitpiy. Absurd ? Do you mean to say you deny that this photo- graph belongs to you? I might have known you would ! You liave forgotten that I atu well aware your cousin Maurice went to a bull at the Turkish Euibassy in that very dress. Bruno. (Aside.) The crash is coming ! Huviqny. (Violently.) As u Circassian, and thai is he I Bruno. (Aside.) Is U ? S(tvi(jny. It is much flattered, but I recognised it instantly. Ilenrielle^ (Looks at it sniiUnont the room and crossing to cabinet, u.e.l.) I had better make two piles, of the things tliat belong to you and the things that belong to me. Here are your colors— your easel. Savigny. (k.) Don't touch that picture ! He)irielle. ( Pointedly. ) You need not be so frightened. Here are your portfolios. Sivigny. Where are my shirts, my Henrieiie. Pardon me ! If I am no longer your wife, such things caimot be mentioned before me. Here is your — your linen, your coats, your dressing-gown (Throws everylhing in a heap on the floor. S((vigny. Would it be a liberty if I ask you to handle my things more carefully ? Henrieiie. Oh, no ! There ! Now we have onlv to divide the biic-a-brac, which we collected on our journey. Whom does this stahKtte belong to? S ivigny. To you ; yon brought it at Bmssels for sixtv francs. Henrieiie. Yes, l)Ut i had oiilv thirty francs in iny purse— you paid the rest. It belongs, therefore, to ns. What's to be done ? Savigny, (Politely,) Keep it I HUBBAH FOB PAEIS ! 15 Henrietie. ( Willi dignity. ) I wish to have what is mine, and noth- ing that is not mine. Savujny. There is one way — violent, but decisive. ( Takes a knife, and cuts the siatatte in two.) I've cut the Gordian knot. lieiirielle. Solomon himself couhlu't do better. iSuvigny. (With knife in one Juuul and statuette in the other.) "Which end will you have ? Heads or tail.s ? He)iridie, I have no preference. But time presses. (Rings the hell, Be-enter Bbuno, s.e.l, Bruno. (Aside.) Good heavens, a knife in his hand! Oh, this is going too far ! (Aloud. ) Did madame ring for help ! Henrietie. Nonsense ! Call a cab. Savitpiy. Call two. Bru)io. (Aside ) They're at daggenj drawn, and if they attempt to he reconciled, I've (slyty) got a little game. I sha'n't tell anything more. (Exit s.k.l. 8avig)!y. The bie is cast ! Hunrielte. Yes, cast. (Aside.) Not a regret I Savigny. (As