r /D-^HA/KU^T-dT^ , CdU^UL. t% CX/rxuZ-i) PRIOE, % OCT 5 J900 J5 CENTS. w'i' "GranW" Dames. di HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, NEW YORK, ACTING PLAYS t DRILLS AND MARCHES } EN TERTAINMENTS A new copyright series suitable for amateur representation, especially adapted to the uses of schools. The Plays are fresh and bright; the Drills AND Marches meet the requirements of both sexes, of various ages ; the ENTERTAINMENTS are the best of their sort. The Prices are Fifteen - Cents each, unless another price is stated. Figures in the right hand ^ columns denote the number of characters. M, male ; F, female. One=Act Farces and Comediettas (IS CENTS EACH.) m.F. An Irish Engagement (lively and laughable) 4 2 Popping the Question (always brings down the house) 2 4 Which Is Which? (graceful, comijal and bright) 3 3 Lend Me Five Shillings (provokes continuous mirth) 5 2 How to Tame Your Mbther-in-Law (extravagantly comical)... 4 2 |^ Mutcahy'S Cat (Irish low life— Harrigan style) ^ ^ i ^f. ^". :!er Family (comic Dutch character sketch) 42^ Funnibone's Fix (the woes of an Editor) 62^ A Cup of Tea (spirited and popular ; acts well) ^ ^ ^ To Let— Furnished (has a good "dude" character) 3 i # The Obstinate Family (one of the funniest of farces) 3 3^ More Blunders Than One (comic Irish character) *• "^ \ The Stage-Struck Yanlarty. Blue brocade dress. Wide lace collar. Seven brooches. Cap, shawl, calash, veil, mitts, purse. For calls. Shawl and bonnet. Gray dress. Mrs. Forester. — For party. Handsome black gown, with lace shawl, cap, and mitts. Lace at throat. Calash, veil, wrap, purse. For calls. Bonnet and shawl. 4 ''Cranfofd'* Dames. Miss Barker.— Fo;* calls. A flowered and flounced white and green muslin skirt. Purple pelisse. Mitts. Lace handkerchief. Very large and much trimmed hat. White embroidered lace veil. Fluttering ribbons. For party. Rich purple satin and velvet gown trimmed with white lace. Pink crepe turban with white pompon. Showy brooch. Martha and Peggy. — Old-style maid's gowns. White caps and aprons. Bridesmaids. — White dresses, veils, gloves, and wreaths. Bouquets. PROPERTIES. For Miss Jenkyns^s Parlor. — Old-fashioned furniture. Small table. Small dining-table. Foot-stool. Four chairs. Vase of flowers. Portraits on wall. Mirror. Hand-bell. Oranges cut so that the juice can be easily squeezed by the lips. Decanters and wine-glasses. Crackers. Two candles in candlesticks. Lamplighters. Extinguisher. A tray. Knitting and embroidery. A sealed letter. An open letter. Dessert. Table service. For Miss Barker's Parlor. — A small dog with an immense bow of ribbon. Table spread for six persons. Tea-service. Cakes. Salad. Six plain chairs. Easy-chair. Playing-cards. Tray, with decanter and glasses. Mirror. Picture-books. A large tray. Long strips of newspaper stitched together. Lighted candles on tea and card tables. Purses for the ladies. Advertis- ing card or circular. ^^CRANFORD^^ DAMES^ FIRST SCENE. Miss Jenkyns's parlor. Doors r. and l. Old-fashioned portraits on walls. Table c, wi^/i &t'// and vase of flowers. Miss Matilda Jenkyns is DISCOVERED seated r. of table, her feet on a foot-stool. Miss Mary Smith sits l. of table. Both ladies have knitting or embroidery. Miss Matilda. It is such a comfort to have you here, dear. Since my dear sister's death, I am well aware that I have no attractions to offer. It is only to the kindness of my friends that I can owe their company. Mary Smith. You know how I love dear old Cranford, and you, dear Miss Matty. Miss M. Have you bureau drawers enough? I don't know exactly how my sister used to arrange them. She had capital methods. She understood training servants, and I don't know what to do with this new girl. Did you notice how she bounced the potatoes on the table ? Miss S. She is a rough girl, but she has a good, honest face. I liked her looks the first time I saw her. Miss M. I told her she was to have no followers. And what do you think she said? "Please, ma'am, I never have but one at a time." Miss S. Of course, you told her she could not have one? Miss M. Of course. But I wish you would have a little private talk with her. I'll send her up. {Rings bell, and EXIT l.) ENTER Martha, r. Miss S. I hope you find your place comfortable, Martha. Martha. Well, ma'am, missus is very kind, and there's plenty to eat and drink, and no more work but what I can do easily, but— Miss S. But what, Martha? Martha. Why, it seems so hard of missus not to let me have any followers. There's such lots of young fellows in the town; and many a one has as much as offered to keep company with me. And I may never be in such a likely place again, and it's like 6 ** Cranford *' Dames* wasting an opportunity. Many a girl as I know would have 'em unbeknownst to missus; but I've given my word, and I'll stick to it. And it's such a capable kitchen — there's such good dark corners in it — I'd be bound to hide any one. I counted up last Sunday night — for I'll not deny I was crying because I had to shut the door in Jem Hearn's face, and he's a steady young man, fit for any girl ; only I had given missus my word. Miss S, I will speak to Miss Matty about Jem. Martha. Thank you, miss. (EXIT, r.) Miss S. What will Miss ^Matty say? She will think I have gone over to the enemy. But why shouldn't a pretty girl like Martha have her follower? ENTER Miss Matty, l. Miss M. Oh, my dear, I forgot to say that our friends have sent to inquire how you are after your journey. They will give you some rest to-morrow, but the next day, I have no doubt, they will call, so be at liberty after twelve — from twelve to three are our calling hours. And I dare say your mamma has told you, my dear, never to let more than three days elapse between receiv- ing a call and returning it, and also that you are never to stay longer than a quarter of an hour. Miss S. But am I to look at my watch? How am I to find out when a quarter of an hour has passed? Miss M. You must keep thinking about the time, my dear, and not allow yourself to forget it in conversation. ENTER IMartha, r. Martha. Miss Betty Barker is below. May she speak to the mistress? Miss M. Yes, yes; but it is not twelve yet. Wait five minutes, Martha, while I change my cap. We wear our old caps in the sanctity of home. (EXIT, l.) Miss S. Who is Miss Betty Barker, Martha? Martha. Why, miss, she used to be lady's maid to Mrs. Jamie- son, and then she and her sister set up a milliner's shop, and then her sister died and Miss Betty shut up shop and retired from business. She has set up a cow too. And she dresses finer than any lady in Cranford, for she's wearing out all the caps and bonnets she could not sell. Did you ever hear, ma'am, of Miss Betty's cow that fell into a lime pit? Miss S. No. Why, she must have been burned to death. Martha. No, she was soon taken out, but she lost all her hair. Miss Betty cried, and was thinking of giving the beast I ''Cranfofd" Dames, 7 a bath of oil; but Captain Brown, just in joke, ma'am, told her to get a flannel waistcoat and flannel drawers ; and Miss Betty did. You ought to have seen the town turn out to see that cow going to pasture dressed in dark gray flannel. ENTER Miss Matty, l., her best cap on top of her old one. Miss M. You may bring Miss Betty up, Martha. [EXIT Martha, r. Miss S. So Miss Barker is a retired milliner? Miss M. Yes, but she sold only to the elite. No caps nor ribbons to any one without a pedigree. Oh, how angry the farmers' wives used to be ! Lady Arley has sometimes lent her the pattern of a cap. ENTER Betty Barker, r. ; she courtesies. Good-morning, Miss Barker, I am very glad to see you. Miss Barker, let me introduce my young cousin. Miss Smith from Drumble. Miss S. (aside). What is the matter with Miss Matty's head? Betty B. Glad to make your acquaintance, miss. (Down stage; aside.) Drumble! Cotton mills! I hope her father has not engaged in that horrid cotton trade and dragged his family out of aristocratic society. (Miss Matty gives her a seat.) Miss Jenkyns, will you excuse my presumption? My former occupa- tion considered, will you excuse the liberty? Miss S. (aside). Oh, she has found out that double cap, and is going to rectify Miss Matty's head-dress. Betty B. I came to ask if you would do me the honor, the very great honor, to take tea at my house next Tuesday. I hope Miss Smith will accompany you. (Miss Matty bozvs.) Miss S. (aside). Oh, that cap will fall off! Betty B. Mrs. Jamieson most kindly and condescendingly said she would be happy to come. One little stipulation she made, that she should bring Carlo. I told her if I had a weakness, it was for dogs. Miss M. And Miss Pole? Betty B. I am going to ask Miss Pole. Of course, I could not think of asking her until I had asked you, madam — the rector's daughter, madam. Believe me, I do not forget the situation my father held under yours. Miss M. And Mrs. Forester, of course? Betty B. And Mrs. Forester. I thought, in fact, of going to her before I went to Miss Pole. Although her circumstances 8 "Cranford'' Dames. are changed, madam, she was born a Tyrrell, and we can never forget her alliance to the Bigges of Bigelow Hall. Miss M. She's a very good card-player. Mrs, Fitz-Adam — I suppose — ? Betty B. No, madam ; I must draw a line somewhere. Mrs. Jamieson would not, I think, like to meet Mrs. Fitz-Adam. {To Miss S.) In Cranford some may be poor, but we are all aristo- cratic. I have the greatest respect for Mrs. Fitz-Adam, but I cannot think her fit society for such ladies as Mrs. Jamieson and Miss Matilda Jenkyns. Miss M. Just a choice and select few. Betty B. May I beg you to come as near half-past six, to my little dwelling, as possible. Miss IMatilda? Mrs. Jamieson dines at five, but has kindly promised not to delay her visit beyond that time — half-past six. Good-morning, Miss Jenkyns. {Deep cour- tesies.) Good-morning, Miss Smith. {Stiff how.) Tuesday, at half-past six. (EXIT, courfesying, r.) Miss S. Why not Mrs. Fitz-Adam? Miss M. She is the sister of our surgeon. Her parents are respectable farmers, content wath their station. But their name is Hoggins. Such a coarse name ! though, as my sister Deborah used to say, it would not be much better if it were changed to Piggins. We used to hope there was a relationship between Mr. Hoggins and that Marchioness of Exeter whose name was Molly Hoggins. But the foolish man utterly denied any relationship. What could we do? Mrs. Fitz-Adam married and went off. Then her husband died — I'm sure none of us knew who he was — and then she came back, a well-to-do widow, dressed in rustling black silk. We used to think that bombazine would have shown a deeper sense of her loss. However, we all called upon her, all but Mrs. Jamieson. You know the Hon. Mrs. Jamieson, sister- in-law to the late Earl of Glenmire? Miss S. Oh, yes ; I have heard of her. And so Mrs. Fitz-Adam did get into Cranford society? Miss M. Yes, we thought she had settled in Cranford in the hope of being admitted to the society of the town, and if this had been her hope, it would be cruel to disappoint her. Besides, as Miss Pole said, as most of the ladies in Cranford were elderly spinsters or widows without children, if we did not relax a little and become less exclusive, by and by we should have no society at all. Miss S. I always understood that Fitz meant something aristo- cratic ; there was Fitz-Roy. I think that some of the king's children have been called Fitz-Roy ; and there was Fitz-Clarence, now— they were the children of dear, good King William the Fourth. ''Cranfofd" Dames, 9 Fitz-Adam ! It is a pretty name, and I think it probably means " child of Adam." No one who had not some good blood in their veins would dare to be called Fitz ; there's a deal in a name. I had a cousin who spelled his name with two little ^'s — ffoulkes — and he always looked down upon capital letters, and said they be- longed to lately invented families. I was afraid he would die a bachelor, he was so very choice. When he met a Mrs. ffarington at a watering-place, he took to her immediately; and a very pretty, genteel woman she was — a widow with a very good for- tune. And my cousin, Mr. ffoulkes, married her, and it was all owing to her two little if's. ENTER Martha, r., zvith a note, zvJiich she gives to Miss Matty. Miss M. (reads it). O, Mary, my cousin. Major Jenkyns, who has lived in India thirty years, writes that he and his wife are on their way home, and would like to spend a night in Cran- ford if it will suit me to receive them into my house. Of course, it must suit me. All Cranford knows I have a bedroom at liberty. Oh, how shall I manage? I wish he had stayed in India. Oh, no, dear, I don't mean that ! Forget that I said it. Oh, how must I manage? If Deborah had been alive, she would have known what to do with a gentleman visitor. Must I put razors in his dressing-room? Dear! dear! and I've got none. Deborah would have had them. And slippers and coat-brushes? Miss S. Probably he will bring all these things with him. Miss M. And after dinner, how am I to know when to get up and leave him to his wine? Deborah would have done it so well ; she would have been quite in her element. Will he want coffee, do you think? Miss S. I will attend to the coffee, and teach Martha how to wait on the table. Miss M. We will have her up now and teach her. Miss S. Now, Miss Matty? Miss M. Yes, nozv. I must have it off my mind. (She rings bell.) ENTER Martha, r. Miss M. (zvith great dignity). Martha, my cousin, Major Jenkyns from India, is coming here. Miss Smith will teach you how to wait. Miss S. Take the vegetables round to people and let them help themselves. Miss M. And mind you, go first to the ladies. Always go to the ladies before the gentlemen when you are waiting. to 'Xranfofd'' Dames. Martha. I'll do as you tell me, ma'am, but I like lads best. Miss M. That will do, Martha; you may go to the kitchen. (Martha starts toward r. door.) CURTAIN. SECOND SCENE. A Lapse of Three Days. Miss Barker's parlor. Doors r. and l. Tea-table spread, c, with six chairs about it. Old-fashioned mirror l. c. Easy- chair down R. Card-table up l. Miss Barker is DISCOV- ERED, kneeling l., arranging paper paths. Peggy stands R., ivith a tray in her hand. Peggy. What are you putting all this paper on the carpet for, ma'am? Miss Barker {arranging paper strips). It rained hard this morning, and I do not want my new carpet to be soiled. Peggy. I think these paths look rather queer. Miss B. (rising). That's because you have not been in society, Peggy. I heard that Miss Jenkyns once gave a party and spent the whole morning before cutting out and stitching together pieces of newspaper, so as to form little paths to every chair. (Peggy hums.) Don't sing. (Peggy drops tray on chair.) Pick up that tray. (Inspects table.) There, I believe everything is ready. Now, Peggy, remember not to talk to me when the ladies are here as you do when we are alone. If the house is on fire, don't come to me. Do you understand? Peggy. I don't know how I'll ever manage without you, ma'am. Miss B. You'll have to. Peggy. What a beautiful cap that is, ma'am ! Miss B. (goes to mirror and adjusts cap). Yes, it's just the pattern of one Queen Adelaide wore, and the king complimented her because it was so becoming. (A knock, r.) Wait, Peggy, wait till I've run upstairs and washed my hands. When I cough, open the door; I'll not be a minute. (EXIT l. A short pause, then a cough. Peggy opens the r. door.) ''Cranfofd'' Dames. it ENTER Miss Jenkyns and Miss Smith, r. They pass in front of the stage to the mirror, l. c. Miss Smith. What are those papers on the floor for? Miss Jenkyns. To protect the carpet. It is the fashion in Cranford. While they take off their wraps and fold them carefully, ENTER Mrs. Forester and Miss Pole, r. After them Mrs. Jamie- son ENTERS zvith a dog in her arms. Peggy assists the ladies, who all prink before the glass. When they are ready, the ladies say, " After you, Mrs. Jamieson," and she leads the way. Miss Barker ENTERS l. and welcomes them. Miss B. Good-evening, Mrs. Jamieson ; delighted to see you. Good-evening, Mrs. Forester; charmed to see you. Ah, Miss Jenkyns, this is kind. Happy to see you, Miss Pole. {Curtly.) Good-evening, Miss Smith. {All arc down stage. Peggy tries to approach Miss Barker.) Delightful evening after the rain, ladies. (Peggy pulls her arm; aside.) What does Peggy want? (Aloud.) As I was saying — (Peggy pulls her again; aside.) What does Peggy want? (Aloud.) As Captain Brown used to say — (another pull) — You remember — (another pull). Poor, sweet Carlo, I'm forgetting him. Come downstairs with me, poor ittie, bittie doggie, and it shall have its tea, it shall. (Takes the dog in her arms and EXIT l., follozvcd by Peggy.) Mrs. Forester. I suppose Miss Barker was thinking of Cap- tain Brown's saying that the ladies in the town wanted something to talk about. Miss Pole. I don't think they do. We have the St. James's Chronicle three times a week, and we have plenty to say. RE-ENTER Miss Barker, l. Miss B. Mrs. Jamieson, will you kindly sit here? (She draws out a chair.) And Mrs. Forester, will you sit next Mrs. Jamie- son? Miss Jenkyns, will you kindly sit next me? And Miss Pole, will you take this seat? (Shortly.) Miss Smith, will you sit there? (She draws out all chairs but Miss Smith's; smiles delightedly. The ladies seat themselves at the tea-table. Miss Barker, r., and Miss Jenkyns, l., face the audience; Mrs. Jamieson sits at Miss Barker's r., and next her Mrs. Forester; opposite them Miss Pole at Miss Jenkyns's l., and next her Miss Smith. The side of the table nearest the audience remains unoccupied.) Ah, how charming this is! Mrs. Jamieson, shall I have the honor of pouring you a cup of tea ? How do you like your tea? t2 ''Cranfofd'' Dames. Mrs. J. Sugar and no cream. Miss B. Oh, I am so sorry you will not take cream, Mrs. Jamieson ! — cream from my cow. Miss Smith, I keep a cow. Miss Smith. I think I have heard of it. Miss B. She met with a sad accident, but Captain Brown made it all right. Mrs. Forester, how do you like your tea? (Miss B. asks all the ladies, and serves them. Peggy ENTERS and passes the salad, etc., nudging the ladies if they do not help themselves.) Yes, I was speaking of Captain Brown. Miss Smith, there was a gentleman once in Cranford. He died. We all drop a silent tear when we think of him (ladies take out their handkcrcJiiefs), but since he is dead and we can't have him, we are glad there is no other gentleman in Cranford. A man is so in the way at a party. (Ladies assent.) You have to amuse him and find conversation for him. Why, what have you here, Peggy? Peggy. Why, it is the salad you made yourself in the kitchen this morning, ma'am — Miss P. It is delicious. Miss B. You are kind to say so, but nothing in the world equals Mrs. Forester's bread jelly. If we might only have the receipt for that ! Mrs. F. There is something sacred about that. I have made my will. Miss B. Your will, Mrs. Forester? Mrs. F. Oh, only about the jelly. I have left the receipt to Miss Matilda Jenkyns. After my death she may retain the secret or proclaim it to the world. I do not dictate. Miss S. How delicious these cakes are ! Miss B. They are little cupids — a dish we are very fond of in Cranford. Miss S. But are they not rather dangerous? Miss B. No, I do not think so. I have eaten them all my life and experienced no ill results whatever. Another cup of tea with cream. Miss Jenkyns? Captain Brown was always joking me about my carnivorous beast — or was it graminivorous? I always mix those words the same as I do horizontal (makes a perpen- dicular line zvith her hand) and perpendicular (makes a horizon- tal movement) . But then, you know, four-syllabled words are of no use, except to learn to spell. But you have no idea how "many yards of flannel it takes to cover a cow. I was nearly ruined. Miss S. Miss Matty was telling me you had some fears of robbers in Cranford. Miss P. Yes, we have had one or two burglaries. Miss M. We make a regular tour all round the kitchen and ** Cf anford '' Dames. J3 cellar every night. I lead the way, armed with the poker, and Mary follows with the hearth brush, and Martha carries the shovel and tongs to sound the alarm. Miss P. I suppose every one — that is, every one but me — has fears. Nonsense I call them. Miss M. I suppose it is nonsense ; but ever since I was a girl I have been afraid of being caught by my last leg just as I was getting into bed. When I was young I used to take a flying leap from a distance. Miss B. We can't do as we used to, dear Miss Matty. Oh, no ! Miss M. I don't like to think of looking under a bed and seeing a man concealed, with a great fierce face staring out at me ; so I have bethought myself of something — perhaps you have noticed that I told Martha to buy me a penny ball, such as children play with — and now I roll this ball under the bed every night. If it comes out on the other side, well and good ; if not, I always take care to have my hand on the bell-rope, and mean to call out "John" and "Harry," just as if I expected men-servants to answer my ring. All. What a capital idea ! Miss B. Miss Smith, I don't suppose you remember Napoleon Bonaparte ? Miss S. No— o— o. Miss B. I did not think you did, but I remember him. And many a night have I lain awake, thinking I heard the tramp of the French entering Cranford. Some people wanted to hide in the salt-mines, and meat would have kept capitally there, but perhaps we should have been thirsty. And your father. Miss Matty, preached two sets of sermons — one set in the morning, to spirit up the people to fight with bricks and broomsticks, and one set in the afternoon, making out that Boney — we used to call Bonaparte Boney, Miss Smith — was all the same as Abaddon and Apollyon. My father and I used to think those sermons ought to be printed ; but perhaps the parish thought it was enough to hear them once. And your brother, Miss Matty, copied all those twelve sermons. There were people who said he would rather have gone fishing. Scandal, of course. Miss M. Of course. Miss B. Here I am rattling on, and have not asked what your special fear is, dear Mrs. Forester. We know Mrs. Jamieson fears nothing. Mrs. F. I have borrow^ed a boy from one of the neighboring cottages and promised his parents a hundredweight of coals at Christmas and his supper every evening for the loan of him at nights. I instructed him in his possible duties when he first came ; H ^'Cranfofd'' Dames. and, finding him sensible, I have given him the major's sword, and desired him to put it very carefully behind his pillow at night, turning the edge toward the head of the pillow. He is a sharp lad, I am sure; for, spying out the major's cocked hat, he said, if he might have that to wear, he was sure he could frighten two Englishmen or four Frenchmen any day. But I have impressed upon him anew that he is to lose no time in putting on hats or anything else ; but if he hears any noise, he is to run at it with his drawn sword. Miss S. But are you not afraid he may rush upon Jenny getting up to wash, and run her through before he discovers that she is not a Frenchman? Mrs. F. I do not think that is likely, fer he is a very sound sleeper, and generally has to be well shaken or have cold water thrown on him before we can rouse him in the morning. I some- times think such dead sleep must be owing to the hearty suppers the poor lad eats, for he was half starved at home, and I told Jenny to see that he got a good meal at night. Miss S. But you have not told us your special timidity. , Mrs. F. Ghosts. (All start and exclaim, " Ghosts! ") ' Miss P. Nonsense ; you are troubled with indigestion or optical delusions. Miss M. I have a little leaning toward ghosts myself. Miss P. Spectral illusions ! Mrs. F. Ghosts are part of my religion, and I think that I, the widow of a major in the army, know what to be frightened at and what not. Peggy, Please, ma'am, I've seen a ghost with my own eyes in Darkness Lane. Miss P. Indigestion ! Miss B. Peggy! Mrs. F. How did the ghost look? - Peggy. All in white, ma'am, and without her head. -^ Mrs. F. There! • Peggy. She was sitting, weeping and wringing her hands. • Mrs. F. There! • Miss B. Now, ladies, to have a little more cheer, what do you say to a game of preference. There are six of us. Four can play, and two can play cribbage. Miss S. I will play cribbage. " Mrs. F. And I. "_ Miss P. And I. Miss B. No, ladies. I will play cribbage. I do not know Spadille from Manile. [The ladies sfc/^ down stage while Peggy clears and removes the ''Cranfofd'' Dames. 13 tabic and sets the card-table. Mrs. Jamieson sits in the easy-chair, r. ; the others stand, l. EXIT Peggy, r. Miss P. I suppose, Mrs. Jamieson, you have no fear of bur- glars? Mrs. J. No; with Carlo I am perfectly safe. Miss B. Carlo is such a fierce beast ! Mrs. J. But he is a gentle dog. Miss B. Oh, very gentle! Miss P. What a beautiful brooch. Miss Matty! Miss M. Yes, my cousin, Major Jenkyns, sent it to me from India. I was afraid to leave it at home, and afraid to wear it. As we came here I thought there was a man behind every tree. But you have beautiful brooches, Miss Pole. Miss P. Yes, I think I have. They are very choice, and so I wore them all. See— one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Yes, I have on seven. Miss B. But I must admire this lace, Mrs. Forester. Mrs. F. Yes, it was made by the nuns. You can't buy it now for love or money. Miss B. Now, ladies, I have a little surprise for you.^ Such a piece of gayety as has not come to Cranford since Smith's lions were here, and one of them ate a little child's arm. {Reads from an advertising card.) " Signor Brunoni, Grand Magician to the King of Delhi, the Rajah of Oude. and the Grand Khan of Thibet, will give a performance in Cranford for one night only." Now, are you not surprised? " Old Assembly Hall." Ah. that place' has its associations. Many is the minuet you have danced there, Miss Matty. You, too. Miss Pole. Miss P. But how did you know about this? Miss B. I saw the placard. You know my little maid, Peggy? She has a cousin— second cousin— who scrubs at the Hall. And, passing, I thought she would like to know how Peggy was. In I went, and saw Signor Brunoni himself. Miss P. Oh! how did he look? Miss M. Young or old? Miss S. Married or unmarried? Mrs. F. Was he handsome? Miss P. Did he have a beard? , r ,,r ^ Miss B Oh, ladies, I thought of Thaddeus of Warsaw, and the Hungarian Brothers, and Santo Sebastiani ! But he bowed me out. Such a polite bow ! In return I dropped a courtesy. Foreigners have such elegant manners. One catches somethmg of it. I went home in the greatest excitement and told Peggy to prepare me some toasted cheese. Mrs. F. Toasted cheese! All speak at once. i6 '^Cranfofd'' Dames. Miss B. Yes, nothing but toasted cheese will soothe my soul in moments like that. (Ladies sit at card-fable, c. Mrs. Jamie- son snores.) What a compliment! It is very gratifying to me, very gratifying, indeed, to see how completely Mrs. Jamieson feels at home in my poor little dwelling. She could not have paid me a greater compliment. (Gives Miss S. a seat, l., and hands her some picture-books.) I know young people like to look at pictures. These are fashion magazines of the years 1824- 1825. You may find some useful hints. {The ladies draw out their old-fashioned purses.) Miss B. Shall we play for penny or sixpenny points? All. Sixpenny. Miss B. It will be more exciting, but there will be more risk. (They play.) Miss B. Hush, ladies, if you please. Mrs. Jamieson is asleep. Mrs. Forester (deaf). What did you say? Miss B. Mrs. Jamieson is asleep. Very gratifying, indeed. I wish my sister had been alive to see this day. (Ga::es heaven- ward.) Mrs. F. Your turn. Miss Barker. AIiss B. Hush, please, do not waken her. ENTER Peggy, r., with tray, decanter, and glasses. Mrs. J. (wakes). The room was so light that I have been keeping my eyes shut ; but I have been listening with great interest to all your amusing and agreeable conversation. Miss B. Why, Peggy, what have you brought us? (Offers glass to Mrs. Jamieson. EXIT Peggy, l. ) Just a little, leetle glass, Mrs. Jamieson, after the salad, you know. Salads are sometimes thought not very wholesome. (AIrs. J. accepts; others follozu her example. Terrible coughing.) Miss P. It's very strong. I do believe there's spirit in it. Miss B. Only a little drop — just enough to make it keep. You know we put brandy-paper over preserves to make them keep. I often feel tipsy myself from eating damson tart. Mrs. J. My sister-in-law. Lady Glenmire, is coming to stay with me. All. Indeed! (Silence.) Miss M. I am afraid we must be going. I see it is nine o'clock. Miss B. Oh, ladies, do not leave me so early. (A knock.) ENTER Peggy, l. Peggy. The sedan chair has come for IMrs. Jamieson. (Peggy brings the 7vraps and helps tJie ladies put them on.) '' Cranf ord '' Dames, J7 Mrs. J. Don't you find it very unpleasant walking? Miss P. Oh, dear, no ; it is so pleasant and still at night. Mrs. F. Such a refreshment after the excitement of a party. Miss M. The stars are so beautiful. Mrs. J. Are you fond of astronomy? Miss M. Not very. Miss B. Thank you, Mrs. Jamieson, for honoring my poor house. Thank you, ladies all. (Deep courtesies to each one, except Miss Smith.) Miss M. We have had a very pleasant evening. Miss B. You are kind to say so ! [The guests EXEUNT r. door, leaving Miss Barker c. and Peggy l. CURTAIN. THIRD SCENE. A Lapse of Two Days. Miss Jenkyns's parlor, as before. The table, c, is set with dessert oranges, crackers, decanters and glasses, etc. Two candles in candlesticks, one of them lighted. Miss Matty and Miss Smith are DISCOVERED seated at the table. Miss Matty. Will you have an orange, dear? I always like to draw the juice with my lips, I do so when I am alone. But it makes one look so ! ,1.^1, Miss Smith. We might sit with our backs to each other. _ Miss M Very well ; I will try not to make the noise offensive. (Thev turn their chairs and sit back to back, each with an orange, Miss Matty, l., Miss Smith, r.) Well, the majors visit .is over, and well over. (Takes a good squeeze at her orange.) 1 think Martha attended to our directions very well. ^ Miss S Yes I was sorry to see her nudge the major when he did not help himself to potatoes while she was handing them around. (A good squeeze.) Have you had any talk with Martha about followers? ^ , , -u-r* Miss M. No, but I must now. It is a fearful responsibility. Are you sure it is right? (Squeeze.) Miss S. Oh, I am sure it is! it '*Cr2iniotd'* Dames. Martha ENTERS r. Both ladies turn their chairs about and resume their former positions. Miss M. Martha, you are young — Martha (courtesies). Yes, please, ma'am; two and twenty last third of October, please, ma'am. Miss M. And perhaps, Martha, you may some time meet with a young man you like, and who likes you. I did say you were not to have followers, but if you meet with such a young man, and tell me, and I find he is respectable, I have no objection to his coming to see you once a week. You may think it over, Martha. Martha. Please, ma'am, there's Jem Hearn, and he's a joiner, making three and sixpence a day, and six foot one in his stocking feet, please, ma'am ; and if you'll ask about him to-morrow morn- ing, every one will give him a character for steadiness, and he'll be glad enough to come to-morrow night, I'll be bound. Miss M. To-morrow night! (EXIT Martha^ r.) It's very sudden. You are quite sure it's right? I think it is time to extin- guish this candle. I was so excited, I forgot. Dear, dear, how uneven they are ! If any one were to call, they would think we burned but one candle ! Miss S. But nobody does call in the evening. Miss M. Excuse me a minute. I want to get some yarn. Miss S. Can't I go for you? Miss M. No, dear ; you could not find it. Watch the candles while I'm gone, and finish your orange if you can do both at the same time. ( EXIT, r. A short pause, during which Miss Smith is comically occupied with her orange and the candles. Miss Matty RE-ENTERS.) Miss S. What is the matter? Miss M. I am rather uncomfortable. I opened the house door for a little fresh air. I heard such a strange noise just as I was opening the door. Miss S. When? Where? Miss M. In the street, just outside. It sounded like — (hesi- tates). Miss S. Talking? Miss M. No — kissing. Miss S. Jem Hearn was not far away. ENTER Martha, r. Martha. Miss Pole is below, ma'am. Miss M. Quick, light the other candle. (Miss S. does so.) Do they look even? ''Cranford^' Dames* J9 ENTER Miss Pole, r. EXIT AIartha. Miss Pole. Good-evening, Miss Matty. Good-evening. Miss Mary. (Is seated, c.) I came to see how you are after the party. Of course, I could not call yesterday while the major was here, nor this afternoon, for I knew he wouldn't leave till four. I suppose you enjoyed his visit? (Miss Matty hesitates.) Miss S. Yes, he was very nice. He brought a Hindoo servant with him. Miss M. And he reminded me of Bluebeard. Miss P. What, the major? Miss M. Oh, no, the servant ! I thought Martha would never end staring at him, with his brown complexion and his white turban. Miss P. Did you ever see such a supper as we had at Miss Barker's? I am sure you and Mrs. Forester must have seen ghosts. I wonder what Mrs. Jamieson thought of that supper? Vulgar, I call it. She never has even seed cake in her house. Miss M. I know she does practise elegant economy, but I thought she enjoyed Miss Barker's supper very much. Miss S. I thought we all did. Miss P. By the way. you'll think I'm strangely ignorant, but do you really know, I am puzzled how we ought to address Lady Glenmire. Do you say " Your ladyship " where you would say " you " to a common person ? I have been puzzling all the morning. And are we to say " My lady " instead of " Ma'am " ? Now, you knew Lady Arley— will you kindly tell me the most correct way of speaking to the peerage? Miss M. It is so long ago. Dear, dear, how stupid I am! I don't think I ever saw her more than twice. I know we used to call Sir Peter " Sir Peter," but he came much oftener to see us than Lady Arley did. Deborah would have known in a minute. " My lady "— " Your ladyship." It sounds very strange, and as if it were not natural. I never thought of it before, but now you have named it. I am all in a puzzle. Miss P. Well. I really think I had better just go and tell Mrs. Forester about our little difficulty. One sometimes grows ner- vous, and yet one would not have Lady Glenmire think we were quite ignorant of the etiquettes of high life in Cranford. Miss M. And will you just step in here, dear Miss Pole, as you come back, please, and tell me what you decide? ^yhatever you and Mrs. Forester fix upon will be quite right. I'm sure. (EXIT Miss Pole, r.) "Lady Arley," " Sir Peter." Miss S. Who is Lady Glenmire? Miss M. Oh, she's the widow of Mr. Jamieson— that's Mrs. 20 ''Cranford'' Dames. Jamieson's late husband, you know — widow of his eldest brother. Mrs. Jamieson was a Miss Walker, daughter of Governor Walker. " Your ladyship." My dear, if they fix on that way of speaking, you must just let me practise on you. RE-ENTER Miss Pole, r. Miss P. Well, to be sure ! We are not to call on Lady Glen- mire. I met Mrs. Jamieson, and she told me. Yes, she wants to have her sister-in-law think she visits only county families. She took me so by surprise, I had nothing to say. I wish I had thought of something very sharp and sarcastic. I dare say I shall to-night. (Sits down, c.) And Lady Glenmire is but the widow of a Scotch baron, after all ! I went on to look at Mrs. Forester's " Peerage " to see who this lady was that is to be kept under a glass case ; widow of a Scotch peer — never sat in the House of Lords — and as poor as Job, I dare say ; and she — fifth daughter of some Mr. Campbell or other. You are the daughter of a rector, at any rate, and related to the Arleys ; and Sir Peter might have been Viscount Arley every one says. And I went and ordered a cap this morning, to be quite ready. Mrs. Jamieson shall see if it is so easy to get me to make fourth at pool when she has none of her fine Scotch relations with her ! Too good to be looked at, I suppose. Miss M. Martha saw her yesterday. Here she comes, and she will tell you how my lady looks. ENTER Martha, r. Martha. Well, ma'am, is it the little lady w^ith Mrs. Jamieson you mean? I thought you would like more to know how young Mrs. Jones was dressed, her being a bride — Miss P. Good gracious me ! As if w^e cared about a Mrs. Jones — the baker's bride ! Martha. The little lady with Mrs. Jamieson had on, ma'am, rather an old black silk, and a shepherd's plaid cloak, ma'am, and very bright black eyes she had, ma'am, and a pleasant, sharp face ; not over young, ma'am, but yet I should guess younger than Mrs. Jamieson herself. She looked up and down like a bird, and nipped up her petticoats when she came out, as quick and sharp as ever I see. I'll tell you what, ma'am, she's more like Mrs. Deacon at the " Coach and Horses " nor any one else. Miss M. Hush, Martha! That's not respectful. Martha. Isn't it, ma'am? I beg pardon, I'm sure; but Jem ''Cranford'^ Dames. 2i Hearn said so as well. He said she was just such a sharp, stirring sort of a body — Miss P. Lady! Martha. Lady — as Mrs. Deacon. CURTAIN. FOURTH SCENE. A Lapse of Ten Days. Mtss Jenkyns's parlor, as in the first scene. Miss Matty is DISCOVERED, seated l. Miss Smith sits r. Miss Smith. I wonder if Lady Glenmire has found the past ten days lively at Mrs. Jamieson's? Miss Matty. I had almost forgotten she was in town. The first Sunday I would not look at her, and the second I hardly remembered that there was such a person. ENTER Martha, r., with a sealed note. Martha. A note for Miss Jenkyns, ma'am. (Hands note, and EXIT.) Miss M. (opens and reads it). An invitation from Mrs. Jamie- son to take tea with her next Tuesday — a small party. I think we will have a previous engagement at home. ENTER Miss Pole, r., with an open note. Miss Pole. So ! Ah, I see you have got your note too. Better late than never. I could have told my Lady Glenmire she would be glad enough of our society before a fortnight was over. Miss M. Yes, we're asked for Tuesday evening. And perhaps you would just kindly bring your work across and drink tea with us that night. It is my usual regular time for looking over the last week's bills and notes and letters, and making candle-lighters of them. But that does not seem quite reason enough for saying I have a previous engagement at home, though I meant to make 22 ^'Cranford'' Dames. it do. Now, if you would come, my conscience would be quite at ease, and luckily the note is not written yet ! Miss P. Don't you mean to go then? Miss M. Oh, no ! You don't either, I suppose ? Miss P. I don't know. Yes, I think I do. You see, one would not like Mrs. Jamieson to think that anything she could do or say was of consequence enough to give offence ; it would be a kind of letting down of ourselves, that I, for one, should not like. It would be too flattering to Mrs. Jamieson if we allowed her to suppose that what she had said affected us a week — nay, ten days — afterward. Miss M. Well, I suppose it is wrong to be hurt and annoyed so long about anything; and perhaps, after all, she did not mean to vex us. But I must say I could not have brought myself to say the things Mrs. Jamieson did about our not calling. I really don't think I shall go. Miss P. Oh, come ! Miss Matty, you must go. You know our friend, Mrs. Jamieson, does not enter into the little delicacies of feeling you possess in a remarkable degree. Miss M. I thought you possessed them, too, that day Mrs. Jamieson asked you not to call. Miss P. I think we ought to be ready to forget and forgive. Miss M. I have nothing to forgive — but — Miss P. But you are not willing to forget. Now, I think it is your duty as the daughter of the late rector to buy a new cap and go to the party. Miss M. I think I must have a new cap. I have heard that turbans are the fashion. I know I am too old to care for dress, but yellow "is my favorite color. Miss P. And what shall we talk about? Miss M. Sugar has risen — and just at preserving time, too. Miss P. But are you sure the Peerage eat preserves? Miss S. Or know how they are made? Miss P. I shall ask her ladyship if she has been at court lately. Miss M. Capital ! I believe Lady Glenmire lives in Edinboro'. Miss P. I had an uncle who once passed a night there. Miss M. That is very pleasant. Miss S. Oh, we shall get on finely ! CURTAIN. ''Cranford'' Dames. 23 FIFTH SCENE. A Lapse of Seven Days. Miss Jenkyns's parlor, as before. Miss Matty and Miss Smith are DISCOVERED, both seated, r. Miss Matty. I think Lady Glenmire is very nice, don't you? Miss Smith. Yes, indeed. Miss M. And we passed a very pleasant evening. Miss S. Yes, but I came home pretty hungry. What thin bread and butter, and what weak tea! And Carlo had all the cream and left us the milk. (A noise is heard off r.) Miss M. Did you hear some one on the stairs? It is not twelve yet. I must change my cap. (They hurry l. as fast as Miss Matty's rheumatism will allow.) ENTER Miss Pole, hurriedly, r. Miss Pole (r.). Don't go — I can't wait— it is not twelve, I know — but never mind your dress — I must speak to you. What do you think, Miss Matty? What do you think? Lady Glenmire is to marry — is to be married, I mean — Lady Glenmire — Mr. Hoggins — Mr. Hoggins is going to marry Lady Glenmire! Miss M. j and V Marry ! Marry ! Madness ! Miss S. ) Miss P. Marry ! / said " marry ! " as you do ! And I said also, "What a fool my lady is going to make of herself!" I could have said, " Madness," but I controlled myself, for it was in a public shop that I heard of it. Where feminine delicacy is gone to I don't know ! You and I, Miss Matty, would have been ashamed to know that our marriage was spoken of in a grocer's shop, in the hearing of shopmen! (Miss Matty, Miss Smith, and Miss Pole seat themselves r.) Miss M. But perhaps we are doing her an injustice. Miss P. No. I have taken care to ascertain that. I went straight to Mrs. Fitz-Adam to borrow a cookery book which I knew she had, and I introduced my congratulations a propos of the difficulty gentlemen must have in housekeeping. And Mrs. Fitz-Adam bridled up. and said she believed it was true, though how and where I could have heard it she did not know. She said her brother and Lady Glenmire had come to an understanding at last. " Understanding ! " Such a coarse word ! But my lady 24 "Cranfofd'' Dames. will have to come down to many a want of refinement. I have reason to believe Mr. Hoggins sups on bread and cheese and beer every night. Miss M, Marry! Well, I never thought of it. Two people that we know going to marry! It's coming very near — Miss P. So near that my heart stopped beating when I heard of it, while you might have counted twelve. Miss M. One does not know whose turn may come next. Here in Cranford poor Lady Glenmire might have thought herself safe. Miss P. Bah ! Don't you remember poor dear Captain Brown's song, " Tibbie Fowler," and the lines — " Set her on the Tintock Tap, The wind will blaw a man till her"? Miss M. That was because " Tibbie Fowler " was rich, I think. Miss P. Well ! There is a kind of attraction about Lady Glenmire that I, for one, should be ashamed to have. Miss S. But how can she have fancied Mr. Hoggins? I am not surprised that Mr. Hoggins should like her. Miss M. Oh, I don't know. Mr. Hoggins is rich, and very pleasant-looking, and very good-tempered and kind-hearted. Miss P. She has married for an establishment, that's it. I suppose she takes the surgery with it. Miss M. What will Mrs. Jamieson say? Miss S. When will it take place? Miss P. Where? Miss M. How much a year has he? Miss S. Will she drop her title? Miss M. How can we teach the servants to announce a mar- ried couple as Lady Glenmire and Mr. Hoggins? Miss S. Will they be visited? Miss M. Will Mrs. Jamieson let us? Miss S. I like Lady Glenmire the best. She is bright and sociable and agreeable, and Mrs. Jamieson is — Miss M. Hush, dear. ENTER Mrs. Forester, r. Miss P. (rises). What do you think, Mrs. Forester? What do you think? Lady Glenmire is to marry. Lady Glenmire — Mr. Hoggins — Mr. Hoggins — Lady Glenmire — Miss M. What do you think? ''Cranfofd'^ Dames. 25 Mrs. Forester. Horrible ! Such conduct brings stains upon the aristocracy. I feel for my Order. (Sinks into chair, r.) Miss P. The idea of his daring to ask her ! But men will be men. Every mother's son of them wishes to be considered Samson and Solomon rolled into one — too strong ever to be beaten or discomfited — too wise ever to be outwitted — too fascinating ever to be resisted. (Seats herself, r.) Mrs. F. They are very incomprehensible, certainly. Miss P. My father was a man, and I know the sex pretty well. Miss M. I don't mean to deny that men are troublesome in a house. I don't judge from my own experience, for my father was neatness itself, and wiped his shoes on coming in as care- fully as any woman. But still, a man has a sort of knowledge of what should be done in difficulties, so that it is very pleasant to have one at hand ready to lean upon. Now, Lady Glenmire, instead of being tossed about and wondering where she is to settle, will be certain of a home among pleasant and kind people, such as our good Miss Pole and Mrs. Forester. It is fifteen years since I have heard of any of my acquaintance being married. It gives me a shock. I can't think what may happen next. [A moment's silence. The ladies, in a group dozvn r., fall into a dream. The strains of the Wedding March are heard. An effective finale can be made by a procession of Brides, thus: The rear Hat is raised or drawn off, disclosing behind it a drop curtain, which extends across the stage, somewhat in front of the rear zvall. The Brides enter from the r., pass across the stage slowly and sufficiently far apart to allow full sweep for their trains, and disappear l. They then return, behind the rear curtain, to the r. entrance and re-enter in turn, thus giving the appearance of a long procession. If a calcium light is used, lower all front lights and throw calcium upon the procession; otherwise keep all lights up. MUSIC— CURTAIN. I M. F. Drama of city life ; 3 acts ; 2% hours The great Labor drama; 3 acts; Dramas and Comedies (IS CENTS EACH.) Imogen© ! or, The Witch's Secret. Strong and realistic drama; 4 acts ; ■!% hours Crawford's "Claim "("Nugget Nell"). 4 acts; good, rattling Western drama ; 2% hours Tried and True *' Strife ! " (" Master and Men ') ■2% hours Under a Cloud. Bright and pleasing comedy-drama; 2 acts: 1% hours 5 2 Saved From the Wreck. Drama ; serio-comic ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 8 3 Between Two Fires. Drama; military plot ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 8 3 By Force of Impulse. (" Off to the War "). Comic and emotional ; 5 acts ; 2 J^ hours 9 3 The Woven Web. Drama; strong and sparkling; 4 acts; 2^^ hours... 7 3 Uncle fom S Cabin. An old favorite, re-written so that it can be played in any hall ; 5 acts ; 2% hours 7 5 My Awful Pad. A side-splitting comedy ; 3 acts , 2 hours 6 6 " Engaged. '^ Society comedy; full of burlesque fun; 3 acts; 2^^ hours.. 5 5 The Wanderer's Return (" Enoch Arden "). Drama, with a strong plot and effective characters ; 4 acts ; 2^ hours 6 4 The Cr'Cket on the Hearth. Dickens' story-dramatized; 3 acts; 2 hours. 6 6 "Single" Life. Uproariously funny comedy; bachelors and spin- sters ; J acts ; 2 hours ._ 5 5 Married Life. A companion piece, equally comic ; 5 married couples ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 5 5 "Olir Boys." Comedy ; always succeeds ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 6 4 IVTlrlam's Crime. Excellent serio-comic drama, with mirth as well as pathos ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 5 2 Meg 8 Diversion. Drama; pathetic, humorous and picturesque; 2 acts ; iK hours 5 3 A Scrap of Paper. Comedy ; full of healthy fun ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 6 6 Woodcock's Little Game. Farce-comedy ; extravagantly funny ; 2 acts ; I hour 4 Lady Aud ley's Secret. Emotional drama from Miss Braddon's novel ; 2 acts, I J^ hours , 4 Not So Bad After All (" Is Marriage a Failure ? "). Comedy ; % acts ; 2 hours ^ o , 6 Timothv Delano's Courtship. Yankee Comedy; 2 acts ;i hour 2 Sweethearts. A beautiful comedy combining fun and pathos ; a acts ; I hour 2 Uncle Jack. Drama; comic, with a good moral ; i act ; iJ^hour».... 3 Rebecca and Rowena. 'Burlesque comedy dramatized from Scott's " Ivanhoe " ; 5 acts ; i hour 3 Home. Comedy ; fresh dialogue and genuine humor combined with a very strong plot ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 4 Caste. Comedy that always delights the public ; 3 acts ; 2% hours. . . 5 The Triple Wedding. Short, excellent drama of home life; 3 acts; i'^ hours ^ All that Glitters is Not Gold (" The Factory Girl'). Comic Drama of great force ; 2 acts 6 Not Such a Fool as He Looks. Comedy; alternate sentiment and roaring fun; 3 acts ; 2j^ hours 5 Solon Shingle ("The People's Lawyer"). Yankee Comedy; 2 acts; rj/^ hours 7 2 Out in theJStreetS. Drama; always received with enthusiasm; 3 acts: iTiour 6 4 Broken Promises. 5 acts ; a strong temperance play of unflagging in- terest, relieved with much eccentric humor; labours 6 3 Ten Nights in a Barroom. 5 acts; plays 2 hours; new and simplified version of an old favorite that will draw hundreds where other plays draw dozens 7 4 HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 132 Nassau St., N. Y. ^'%/%/^'%/%>'%^^%/%/%. i Dramas and Comedies (AT 25 CENTS EACH.) M. F. Breaking His Bonds. Strong Drama with comic underplay; 4 acts; 2 hours 5 , The Jail Bird. Drama of city life, containing a vivid plot with well diversified interest ; 5 acts ; 2^ hours 6 3 Golden Gulch ("The Government Scout"). Drama that combines fun, sentiment and exciting situations ; 3 acts ; 2j^ hours n 3 The Man from Maine. Comedy-drama with a wide-awake hero from " down East " ; 5 acts ; zji hours. . . . > o » Shaun Aroon. Stirring Drama of Home Life in Ireland; 3 acts; 2 hours J 2 "The Deacon." Comedy-drama that is simply immense; old-man leading character ; 5 acts ; 2^4 hours 6 6 What's Next ? Farce-comedy ; 3 acts ; plays 150 minutes ; raises 150 laughs J 4 The New Partner. Comedy-drama ; strong plot moving episodes and roaring comedy ; 3 acts ; 2^4 hours 8 4 Josiah's Courtship. Farcical Comedy-Drama; uproarious comedy features alternate with forceful, but not heavy, pathos ; 4 acts ; 2 hours 7 4 Eyin Go Bragh. An up-to-date Irish Drama in 3 acts; plays 2 hours; both serious and comic in scope ; not sensational 5 4 Plays for Female Characters Only (15 CENTS EACH.) M. F. Who's to Inherit ? i act ; brisk and comic 9 Mrs. WIIIIp' Will, i act ; neat, funny and bright 5 My Aunt's heiress, i act ; has a " Cinderella " plot n The "Sweet" Family. Musical, wise and otherwise; will make a mummy laugh 8 A Lesson in Elegance (" The Glass of Fashion "). Society comedy ; I act 4 Murder Will Out. i act; humorous, with a moral 6 A Slight Mistake, i act ; enforces a moral in a comic way 5 Fast Friends, i act ; society quarrel and reconciliation 2 A Fair Encounter, i act ; bright, with a diamond-cut-diamond plot.. 2 Plays for Male Characters Only (15 CENTS EACH.) ^ M. F, The Lost Heir. Drama in 3 acts ; excellent plot of unflagging interest. 10 " Medlca." Roaring farce in i act ; sure to please 7 Wanted, A Confidential Clerk. Farce in i act; comic and spirited... 6 Old Cronies. Farce in i act ; rollicking fun all through 2 April Fools. Farce in i act ; brisk, bright and comic 3 The Darkey Wood Dealer. Farce in i act; always scores a success... 3 Mischievous Bob. Comic drama in i act ; good moral 6 The Wrong Bottle. Temperance sketch in i act 2 Well Fixed for a Rainy Day. Temperance Drama in i act 5 The Harvest Storm. Drama in i act ; strong in its interest, with a comic underplot 10 Furnished Apartments. Farce in x act ; very laughable in its absurd complications 5 The Widow's Proposals. A " Widow Bedott " farce in i act 3 A Manager's Trials. Farce in i act ; creates shouts of laughter 9 The Bachelor's Bedroom ("Two in the Morning"). Farce in i act .. 2 The Dutchman in Ireland. Farce in i act; good characters 3 The Nigger Night School. Farce in i act; a "screamer" with specialties 6 A Holy Terror. Farce in i act ; white or black faces ; specialties can be worked in ; uproariously funny 4 HAROLD ROORBACK, Publisher, 132 Nassau St., N. Y. i r Exhibition Drills and Marches (IS CENTS EACH.) The Bootblack Drill. A comic novelty drill for several boys or girls repre- senting bootblacks. It is a living picture from real life, don« h» motion. The Clown's Horn Drill. A fantastic drill and march for boys or young men. The performers represent clowns who go through a comical man- ual, with tin horns. Contains, also, a dumb-bell exercise which may be retained or omitted. A Dutch Flirtation. A handkerchief drill for small cirls, which carries out a clever little comedy in movement. Simple, aaa shoil enough for little folks to execute without fatigue, and is at once graceful and comical. _ The Intllan Huntresses. A bow and arrow drill for girls of any age. Pict- uresque, with graceful figures ar.d tableau effects. John Brown-'S Ten Little Injuns. A tomahawk march and drill for small boys or young men. The march, manual and chorus are all done to the old tune of the same name. Comic. The March of the Chinese Lanterns. A spectacular novelty drill and march for girls or young ladies. The drill and calisthenics are novel, and the march forms various graceful figures and pretty tableaux. IVIaud Muller Drill. A pretty pantomime drill for young ladies and gentle- men. Appropriate passages selected from Tennyson's poem are recited by a rcaaer, while the story is acted out in marches, motions and poses. Red Riding Hood Drill. A novelty story in drill and song, for little folks. The story is represented in pantomime, with various figures, poses, mo- tions and short songs. Spring Garlands. A flower drill for young people of both sexes, represent- ing maids and gallants of ye olden tyme. Graceful calisthenic poses, evolutions with garlands and pretty marching figures, make a very pict- uresque and old-time effect. The Turk-ey Drill. A nonsense comedy song-drill for boys or young men ; a suggestion of Thanksgiving Day. jk The Vestal Virgins. A spectacular taper-drill for girls or young ladies— a ^ Sybil and any number of virgins. Works out a cU»sic theme with pretty ^ effect. Interwoven are pose-studies, marching figures and a gallery of the Muses. Th« Witches' March and Broom Drill. A fantastic drill for girls or young ladies, presenting a succession of contrasts in movement and pose. It is quite novel and striking. Various Entertainments (25 CENTS EACH.) The Japanese Wedding. A pantomime representation of the wedding cere- mony as it is done in Japan. Requires 13 performers and lasts about 50 minutes. Is exceedingly effective. An Old Plantation Night. A musical and elocutionary medley for a double quartet. Is not a " minstrel " show, but represents the life of the old- time darkies, interspersed with song and story. The Gypsies' Festival. A musical entertainment for children, introducing the GLypsy Queen, Fortune-teller, Yankee Peddler, and a chorus of Gyp- sies of any desired number. The Court etVing Christmas. A Cantata for young folks, representing the Chrlstn»as nreparations in Santa Claus land. Young people, from six to sixtv, are ^ways delighted with it. King Winter's Carnival. An operetta for children^ with 10 speaking parts and chorus. The action takes place in King Winter's apartments at the North Pole. Ends in a minuet. The Fairies' TrIbimaJ. A juvenile operetta for 9 principal characters and a chorus. Interspersed are pretty motion-songs, dances and marches, a drill and some good tableaux. Entertains both old and young. HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 13a Nassau St., N. Y. A BUNCH OF ROSES A Burlesque Musical Entertainment, By W. D. Felter PRICE, 15 CENTS CASf OF Characters Mrs. Phcf.bk Ann Rose /rotn Kalamazoo Prudence Lobelia \ Polly Clorinda | Priscilla I ./ D T /■ n Pamelia f ike Bunch 0/ Roses Patience I Penelope j Lilly \ vtoLET f the Rose-buds Daisy ) Sally Sparks ivha only '"'' thinks so.''^ Matilda Jane the Hired Girl Melvin AIelrose the Only Young RIan on the Spot A burlesque musical entertainment in i act, by W. D. Felter (author of " The Sweet Family," etc.), i male, 13 female characters. Time of performance about ij^ hours. This is a miscellaneous programme rendered for the benefit of " The Free Ice Fund for the Philippine Islanders." It includes various "specialties," living pictures, Mother-Goose chorus, etc., and concludes with a burlesque operetta entitled "John- ny Jones." The Roses, the Rosebuds and the Only Young Man on the Spot make up an entertainment that cannot fail to excite continuous mirth for the better part of an evening. The author has produced this burlesque at church entertainments in many parts of the country, with unvarying success. GERTRUDE MASON, M.D. Or, THE LADY DOCTOR A Farce in One Act, for Female Characters, By L. M. C. Armstrong price, 15 cents Cast of Characters Gertrude Mason, M.D a young Physician Bertha Lawrence I / 7- • . Ella Gray \ her Friends Miss Jane SiMPKiNS a Spinster of Uncertain A ge^ Mrs. Van Style one of the'" 400'' NoR.\H D^"- Mason'' s Cook Marie « Lady's Maid Time. — The Present. Place, — New York. Time of Representation. — Thirty Minutes. An exceedingly bright piece for young ladies, in which young Dr. Gertrude, already a victim of circumstances, is made the victim of a practical joke. The scenes with Mrs. Van Style^who mistakes the doctor for a pawnbroker, and Miss Jane Sim/>kins, who brings a sick dog to be cured, are hilarious, while Nora^ an Irish cook, is deliciously droll. The cook is the star of the piece, but all the personages are vivacious and every situation bristles with fun, Harold Roorbach, Publisher, 132 Nassau Street, New York 016 102 574 4 TOWNSEND'S "AHATEUR THEATRICALS." A Practical Guide /or Amateur Actors. PRICE, 25 CENTS. This Trork, without a rival in tiie field of dramatic literature, covers the en- tire subject of amateur acting, and answers the thousand and one questions that arise constantly to v7orry and perplex both actor and manager. It tells how to select plays and what plays to select; how to get up a dramatic club— whom to choose and whom to avoid ; how to select characters, showing who should assume particular roies • how to rehearse a play properly— including stage business, by- play, voice, gestures, action, etc. ; how to represent all the passions and emo- tions, from Love to Hate (this chapter Is worth many times the price of the book, a« the same information cannot be found in any similar work); how to costume modern plays. All is told in such a plain, simple style that the veriest tyro can understand. The details are so complete and the descriptions so clear that the _ most inexperienced can follow them readily. The book is full of breezy anecdotes ( ( that illustrate different points. But its crowning merit is that it is thoroughly { PRACTICAL— it is the result of the author's long experience as an actor and man- ager. Every dramatic club in the land should possess a copy of this book, and no actor can afford to be without it. It contains so much valuable information that even old stagers will consult It with advantage. HELMER'S ACTOR'5 MAKE=UP BOOK. A Fraciical and Systematic Guide to the Art of Making-uf for the Stage. \ PRICE, 25 CENTS. Facial, make-up has much to do with an actor's success. This manual is a perfect encyclopedia of a branch of knowledge most essential to ail players. It is well written, systematic, exhaustive, practical, unique. Professional and amateur actors and actresses alike pronounce it the best make-up book ever published. It is simply indispensable to those who cannot command the services of a per- ruquier. CONTENTS. Chapter!. Theatrical Wias.— The Style and Form of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. The Color and Shading of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. Directions for Measuring the Head. To put on a Wig properly. Chapter II. Theatrical Beards.— How to fashion a Beard out of Crepe Hair. How to make Beards of Wool. The growth of Beard simulated. Chapter III. The Make-up.— A successful Character Mask, and how to make It. Perspiration during performance, how removed. Chapter IV. The Make-up Box.— Grease Paint . Grea.^e Paints In Sticks ; Flesh Cream; Face Powder; How to use Face Powder as a IJquid Cream; The various shades of Face Powder. Water Cosmetique. Nose Putty. Court Plaster. Cocoa f Butter. Crepe Hair and Prepared Wool. Grenadine. Dorin's Rouge. "Oldj Man's" Rouge. "Juvenile" Rouge. Spirit Gum. Email Noir. Bear's Grease. Eyebrow Pencils. Artist's Stomps. Powder Puffs. Hare's Feet. Camel's-hair Brushes. Chapter V. Thk Feattjkes and their Treatment.— The Eyes % Blindness, fhe Eyelids. The Eyebrows : How to paint out an eyebrow or mustache; How to paste on eyebrows; How to regulate bushy eyebrows. The Eyelashes : To alter the appearance of the eyes. The Ears. The Nose: A Roman nose; How to use the nose putty; apugnose; an African nose; a large nose apparently reduced in size. The Mouth and Lips s a juvenile mouth; an old mouth; a sensuous mouth; a satirical mouth; a one-sided mouth; a merry mouth; a sullen mouth. The Teeth. The Neck, Arms, Hands and Finger-nails: Finger-nails lengthened. Wrinkles: Piiendliness and SuUenness indicated by wrinkles. Shading. A Starving Character. A Cut in the Face. A Thin Face made Fleshy. Chapter VL Typical Character Masks— The Make-up for Youth; Dimpled Cheeks. Manhood. Middle Age. Making up as a Drunkard: One method; an- other method. Old Age. Negroes. Moors. Chinese, King Lear. Shylock. Mac- beth, Richelieu. Statuarv. Clo^vns. Chapter VIL Spkoial Hints to Ladies.— The Make-up. Theatrical Wigs and Hair Goodft, ^ J^T" Copies of the above will he mailed, post-paid, *" any address, on receipt of the annexed prices, HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 133 Nassau St., N. Y. CXjfyyJL^ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS ^S^ 016 102 574 4