PUs Zf/fm- ^6- FRES CH'S STAIS DAED DRAMA, Price 12)^ Cents each.— Bound Volnmes $1. - -^ - vol.. I. VOL. II. VOL. III. VOL. IV. 1. Ion, 9. The Stranger, 17. The Poor Gentleman, 25. Virginius, 2. Fazio, 10. Grandfather White- 18. Hamlet, 26. King of the Commons 3. The Lady of Lyons, 11. Richard III. [head, 19. Charles II. 27. London Assurance, 4. Richelieu, 12. Love's Sacrifice, 20. A'enice Preserved, 28. The Rent Day, 5. The Wife, 13. The Gamester, [ache, 21. Pizarro, 29. Two Gentlemen of 6. The Honeymoon, 14. A Cure for the Heart- 22. The Love Chase, Verona, 7. The School for Scandal 15. The Hunchback, 23. Othello, [lings, 24. Lend me Five Shil- 30. The Jealous Wife, 8. Money, 16. Don C83sar de Bazan, 31. The Rivals, "With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- 32. Perfection, moir of Mrs, A. C. moir of Mr. CHARLES moir of Mr. W. E. BUR- With a Portrait and Me- MOWATT. KEAN. TON. moir of J. H. HACKETT VOL. V. VOL. VI. VOL. VII. VOL. VIII. 33. A New Way to Pay 41. Speed the Plough, 49. Road to Ruin, 57. The Apostate, Old Debts, 42. Romeo and Juliet, 50. Macbeth, 58. Twelfth Night, 34. Look: Before You Leap 43. Feudal Times, 61. Temper, 59 Brutus, 35. King John, 44. Charles the Twelfth, 52. Evadne, 60. Simpson & Co. 36. Nervous Man, 45. The Bridal, 53. Bertram, 61. Merchant of Venice, 37. Damon and Pythias, 46. The Follies of a Night 54. The Duenna, 62. Old Heads and Young 33. Clandestine Marriage 4". The Iron Chest, 55. Much Ado About No- Hearts, 39. M'illiam Tell, 48. Faint Heart Never thing, 63. Mountaineers. 40. Day after the Wedding Won Fair Lady, 56. The Critic, 64. Three Weeks After Marriage. With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- moir of G. COLMAN, moir of E. BULWER moir of R. B. SHERI- moir of Mr. GEORGE the Elder. LYTTON. DAN. H. BARRETT. VOL. IX. VOL. X. VOL. XI VOL. XII. 65. Love, 73. Henry VIII. 81. Julius Csesar, 89. Ingomar, 66. As Yon Like It, 74. Married and Single, 82. Vicar of Wakefield, 90. Sketches in India, 67. The Elder Brother, 75. Henry IV. 83. Leap Year, 91. Two Friends, 68. Werner, 76. PaulPi-y. 84. The Catspaw, 92. Jane Shore, 69. Gisippus, 7T. Guy Alannering, 85. The P assing Cloud, 93. Corsican Brothers, 70. Town and Country. 78. Sweethearts and 86. Drunkard, 94. Mind Your Own Bus- 71. King Lear, Wives, 87. Rob Roy, iness, 72. Blue Devils, 79. Serious Family. 88. George Barnwell, 95. Writing on the Wall, 80. She Stoops to Con- 96. Heir at Law, With a Portrait and Me- quer, With a Portrait and Me- moir of Mrs. SHAW. With a Portrait and Me- moir of Mrs. JOHN With a Portrait and Me- moir of Miss C. CUSH- SEFTON. moir of Mr. THOMAS MAN. HAMBLIN. VOL, XIII. VOL. XIV. VOL. XV. VOL, XVI. 97. Soldier's Daughter, 105. Game of Love, 113. Ireland As It Is, 121. The Tempest, 93. Douglas, 106. Midsummer Night's 114. Sea of Ice. 122. The Pilot, 99. Marco Spada, Dream, 115. Seven Clerks, 123. Carpenter of Rouen, lOO. Nature's Nobleman, 107. Ernestine, 116. Game of Life, 124. King's Rival, 101. Sardanapalus, 108. Rag Picker of Paris, 117. Forty Thieves, 125. Little Treasure, 102. Civilization, 109. Plying Dutchman, 118. Bryan Boroihme, 126. Dombey and Son, 103. The Robbers, 110. Hypocrite, 119. Romance & Reality. 127. Parents and Guard- 104. Katharine and Pe- 111. Therese, 120. Ugolino, 128. Jewess. riana, truchio. 112. La Tour de Nesle, With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- With a Portrait and Me- moir of Mr. EDWIN moir of Mr. JOHN moir of Mr. BARNEY FOREST. BROUGHAM. WILLIAMS. VOL. XVII. VOL. XVIII. VOL. XIX. VOL. XX. 129. Camille, 137. Night and Morning, 145. Dred, or the Dismal 153. French Spy, 130. Married Life, 138. jEthiop, Swamp, 154. Wept of Wish-ton 131. WenlockofWenloci 139. Three Guardsmen, 146. Last Days of Pom- Wish, 132. Rose of Ettrickvale, 140. Tom Cringle, [ken. 147. Esmeralda, [peii. 155. Evil Genius, 133. David Copperfield, 141. Henriette, thePorsa- 148. Peter Wilkins, 156. Ben Bolt, 134. Aline, or the Rose of 142. Eustache Baudin, 149. Ben 'he Boatswain, 157. Sailor of France, 135. Pauline, [Killarney, 143. Ernest Maltravers, 150. Jonathan Bradford, 158. Red Mask, 136. Jane Eyre. 144. Bold Dragoons. 151. Retribution, 159. Life of an Actress, 152. MineralL 160. Wedding Day. VOL. XXI. VOL. XXII. VOL. xxni. VOL, XXIV. 161. All's Fair In Love, 169. Son of the Night 177. Actress of Padua, 185. Young New York 162. Hofer, 170. Rory O'More, 178. Floating Beacon, 186. The Victims. 163. Self, 171. Golden Eagle, 179. Bride of Lammer- 187 Romance after Mar- 164. Cinderella, 172. Rienzi. moor, [ges 180. Cataract of the Gan- 188 Brigand, [riage. 165. Phantom, 173. Broken Sword, 189 Poor of New York, 166. Franklin, 174. Rip Van Winkle, 181. Robber of the Rhine 190 Ambrose Gwinett, 167. The Gunmaker of 175. Isabelle. 182. School of Reform, 191 Raymond and Agnes, Moscow, 176, Heart of Midlothian. 183. Wandering Boys, 192 Gambler's Fate, 168. The Love of » Prince 184. Mazeppa. [ Catalogue continued on third page of cover.] 1 •%- ^ X FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA, No. CCIX. AMEEICANS II PARIS; OR, A GAME OF DOMINOES, TO WHICH ARE ADDED A d«8cr1ption of the Costume — Cast of the Characters— Entrances and Exits- Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and th-e whole of the Stage Business. AS PERFORMED AT WALLACE'S THEATRE. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1838, by Samukl Prettch, in the Clerli's Offic* of the District Court of the United States for tie Southern District of New Yorli. «^><^» NEW YORKr^;^^;^^^^^^;;^^ S A M U E L F 1-? E N C H, "'^' 122 Nassau Strrbt, (^f SxatrsO ^^^ Cast of tl)c CCijaracters. — [Americans in Paris.] Wallack's, 1858. Arthur Morris Mr. Lester Doctor Bothercr Mr. Blake Monsieur Lamouret Mr. Davenport; Colonel, De Sabres Mr. Grosvenor Ilonsieur De Lucenay Mr. Ti ee Baptiste Mr. JeflVies Joseph Mr. Parsloe Amelia, wife of Morris Mr. Hoey Annie^ wife of Dr. Botherer Miss Gannon Costume . — Present Day. Time in Representation — one hour and thirty minutes. STAGE DIRECTIONS. L. means First Entrance, Left. R. First Entrance, Right. S. E. L. Second Entrance, Left. S. E. R. Second Entrance, Right. U. E. L. Upper Entrance, Left. U. E. R. Upper Entrance, Right. C. Centre. L. C. Left Centre. 'R. C. Right of Centre. T. E. L. Third Entrance^ Left. T. E. R. Third Entrance, Right. C. D. Centre Door. D. R. Door Right. D. L. Door Left. U. D. L. Upper Door, Left. U. D. R. Upper Door, Right. *;i;* The reader is supposed to be on the Stage, facing the Audience, TMP92-008567 r AMERICANS IN PARIS. A C T I . SCENE L— Parlor in Mr. Mojris^ House. Enter Josei'H and Lamouret, l. c. Jos. Monsier Lamonret. Lavi. [^Comnig sn.] Is Madame Morris at home ? Jos. Yes, sir ; she has not yet left the table. Lam. M. Morris, then, is dining out ? Jos. I suppose so, sir. Madame waited until seven o'clock. Lam. Ha! ha! [Aside.] Then he dida't tell her. [Aloud.'] Joseph. Jos. [Going cut, but stoj)ping at the door.] Sir. Lam. I think I didn't give you your Christmas box the other day. Jos. Oh, sir, that doesn't signify. Lara. I fogot it, my man. But [puts his hand in 7ns pocket] you won't lose by that. I say, Joseph ; you like your place, I suppose? 'Jos. I've been in the family, sir, ever since they came to Paris. Lam. That's a good old-fashioned reason, but uow-a-days you might have a better. I suppose they give you good wages? Jos. Capital. Lam. Then of course you like your place ; and you must be anxious to have things go on smoothly, to have your master and mistress on the best terms with one another, and well, sometimes, / have thought that— hey? [PI gt/s with his purse. Jos. [Stupidli/.] I don't know, sir. Lam. Oh. you know what I mean. You see, I am so intimate with both Madame and Monsieur Morris, and they are here so far from home ; and — and— a — What do you think of things among you down stairs? Jos. Nothing but what is right, sir. Jjom. They never say sharp things to one another at table, I hope? Jos. I never listen, sir ; and they speak English when they are alone. ^ AMERICANS IX PARIS. thft'^sT.nf^v' ^Wlin^''^ ^^'" *^'? ''"'^ '^^" Imow-it isn't the words ;l;f1^^^;- • ' ^ IT'''' ^^'^^-'^"'^ ^'^ say provoking thin-s, sho may talk Chinese i she like-a man can't help understandino- her Jos. I never watch them, sir, when they are talking. ^Lam. [Aside, imitin shack his purse.] Then what the devil does he ^05. [Smilmg.] I will let Madame know that Monsieur is here. Lcm. There's an astute servant ! The fellow doesn't earL^his J'alt ^ind 'I'll h;;\f "''^ ?r '"> '^^'^ '^ ^'""^ ""'^ ''^ f-°^'^ Never 2 L ir , that something is wrong in the house. Not a bad iob either. Madame Morris is charming-all these New York women 'ire I dare say I should have been fool enough to marry her myself Ti hadn t been so afraid of sea-sickness that I wouldn't accept Morris' in- Ji.s nn P. ^'fn "" °'7 yonder among his Camanches and his Mis- Iha ?,. uTTV' '^^y'^^:'' l^te than never-perhaps better late than ever U I had married her she might have disaraced herself by taking a t\^ncy to Morris. Now she is married to Mori-is she may aspire th.Vw"f '' "f' ^^ ^^'b ^ '^'°"^''y '^'^''' '^'^ ''^ beginning to look that uay already, and only needs a little encouragement. Decidedly It IS my duty as a Frenchman and a gentleman to give her a lift. Enter Amelia, k. h., and Joseph, bringing a light, lohich he places on the j}W7itle, and begins to poke the fire. wifrr l^'*'''"'"f^-J ^^\ ' S'°''*^ evening, my dear Monsieur Lamouret. \Vby did you not come m a little sooner, that I might have had the plf^asure of your company at dinner? I was alone Lam [}y,tk a conceited air.] A tete-a-tete! Ah, Madame! there tuTate I^alf-a-dozen aiicides to-morrow if I had been so for- Mnlntf^rf'''^'^ T^^'i ^ ^°'' ^' '^- f^^^^"^J Joseph, did Monsieur Morns tell you when he went out that he shouldn't come in to dinner? Jos. No, Madame. Ame. Nor that he should come home late ? Jos. He left no message at all, Madame. Ame. It's very shigular. [Josepu goes out, c. SJie holes at the time-piece, and .sags, aside.] Eiglit O'clock! ''^ Mo"^'""" ^-l^^^^J There's something wrong. [Aloud] Are you uneasy, Madame j No doubt Morris has been kept down town by his business! Jme So I suppose. One can't always get away from one's office, and 1 believe there is a steamer from Havre to-morrow Lavi Ah : It's a pity, though, that one shouldn't give one's wife a word of notice, 7t ^* 4i A r\\ \ .^ 1, . , „ L^- at mantle. Ame. Oh! one cant think of everything. Lam. And husbands never think of any thing. Ame. You don't seem to have a good opinion of husbands. Lam. [Smiling.] Not I! They are abominable creatures— I have the worst possible opinion of them. Ame. And the best possible opinion of yourself, I suppose ^Lam. Undoubtedly ; and I don't marry because I don't wish to lose AMEEICAXS IN PARIS, 6 Ante. Well, I dare say yon are right, as a Frenchman particularly ; but I assure you there are some good husbands in the world. Lam. Really ! A7ne. Inline, I'or instance. Lam. Oh, heaven forbid I should question iJiaf / He is my dearest friend ; and then [boiving in an averwhehnivp tna?i}ier] he has every pos- sible excuse for declaring himself an exception to the rule. Jljne. Of course he has to devote himself to business. Life in Paris is so expensive ; and then he must Ihink of the children. But ho suffers more than I do from the restraint which his occupation imposes on our intercourse. And we have been so very happy always ; and with all your art, you Parisians have never succeeded in turning his head. We live as quietly here, almost, as in New York. Lam. That domestic "^Paradise ! Ah, Madame ! how frivolous an existence here must seem to you, accustomed, as you were, to the sobriety and economy of that Puritanic capital in which you were born ! Ame. [Simply.] I see but little of it, and my husband is so much engaged. Lam. \_Aside.] I am wrong— there is nothing the matter, Av^e. But, pray, take a chair. [Lamouret /.s about to sit doivn — Mrs. M. listens.'] Hark, a carriage ! perhaps it is M. Morris. [She opens the ivindow and looks aid. Lam. She certainly is uneasy ; she certainly has a presentiment. Lamouret, my boy, you are in the right track— attention ! [Amklia slams the uitidoro to.] All right! she is perfectly sayage. [She sits down, and snatches vp her embroidery.] Splendid ! they'll have a glorious blow-up this night ! Ame. [Compooing herself .] What have you been about this week? Any balh ? Anything new at the theatres? Lam.- Oh ! I dare say. But 1 am so weary of all that kind of thing. The heart is left unsati.>fied-— — - Ame. [Interntpting him.] I went to the last concert. Lam. With Morris? Ame. [Vexed.] No! With Doctor Botherer and his wife. Lam. Ah ! the inseparables — the Siamese couple. There is a model dove cot. Ain7e. [A little provolced.] Yes, certainly ; you never do see one of them without the other. Tiiey carry it so far that the doctor refused to be my hoy^s godfather with any other godmotlitr but his wife. Lam. What scrnpulous fidelity! It's really quite discoiJraging. Ame. Discouraging! to whom ? Lam. To all the adorers of Madame Botherer. Ame. There's you French ! E7iter Joseph, c , throiving open the door. Jos. Madame Botherer. Lam. [Rising.] Ah ! Madame Botherer. ^me. Showhurin. [Aside.] If she will only take this simpleton away ! ^ AMERICANS IN PARIS. Enta^ Anme, c Annie. Good day, my dear. . [Seeing Lamouret.] Ah ! I beg your pardon ; I interr.upt you. Ame. Not at all. This is Monsieur Lamouret, an old friend of my husband. [Lamouket and Annie exchange salutes. Annie. The doctor has just gone out to visit a patient, and I took advantage of his absence to come down and ask a favor of you. I thought you were alone. Lam. [Taking up his hat.] Secrets! then permit me to bid you good day. A7ne. What, you are not going ? Annie. Pray don't let me drive you away. La7n. By no manner of means. But I just remember an engage- ment. I will come back a little later, in the hope of finding Morris at home. A77ie. You may be sure he won't be long out. La?n. [Aside.] If I could only find out where my gay friend has been dining. I'll just reconnoitre the street as far as the CafS Anglaise. [Aloud.] Ladies, your servant. [Exit. Ame. [Crosses, l] Thank heaven, he has gone. I am infinitely obliged to you, my dear Madame. Annie. [Crosses, R.] AVhat, for driving off your adorer? Ame. For ridding me of a tedious creature, who can't utter three consecutive words of common sense. . [Cros.-ies, L. Annie. Well, my dear, if I have done you so good a turn, you surely will do me another? Ame. With all my heart. But what is it ? Annie. Just to put on a blue domino that I have prepared, all ready for you. and go with myself and Madame de Lucenay, and Madame Giraud, at midnight, to the masked bail at the opera. Ame. My dear Madame Bolheror, what on earth can you be thinking of? Annie. Why, my dnar child, I don't mean any sort of harm; I only want to amuse myself a little, and I thought, as you were a stranger, you would like to see the ball as well as me 5 and Monsieur Morris, I. am sure, won't object when he comes home, even if you ask him. Ame. I should never dare to think of asking him such a question. "Why, isn't it frightfully improper and imprudent, and Annie. [Sils.] And eytertaining. Yes, my love, it is excessively en- tertaining. e*"erybody dtclares, and I shall never have such a chance again in all my life ; for to-night the doctor is to go to the hospital at twelve o'clock, and for the first time since my marriage, I shall be left alone for three or four hours of the night. Ame [Lnterriipting.] And I wish with all my heart that I could say as much, for ]\Ir. Morris is continually leaving me alone. Annie. Now don't be troubled about that, my child. If you knew what it is to be bored to death by a devoted spouse, as .1 am! It's very odd. My husband, I suppose, treats me like an American, and yours treats you like a Frenchman, and we are neither of us satis- fied. But never mind that. We didn't make the world, and we can't AMERICANS IN PARIS. 7 mend it, and I don't find any fault with anybody. And you must come to the ball to-night. Ame. Indeed. I assure you, it is altogether out of the question, and I should never think of And where in the world can Mr. MorrLs be ? [ Walks about, very much agitated. Anjii-e. Now, my dear, do compose yourself. If you fall into such an excitement, you WtU quite get beside yourself. And when Mr. Morris d.oes come home, you will just drive him out again with a flur- ry of questions. He may hate to be questioned, and maybe he is per- fectly sick with your tears, even hate to be cried at ; and, my dear, take my advice : Cliange your tactics ; wear a pleasant and smiling face, and show by your manner that you trust and confide, and thns make his home so happy that he will always be glad to return to it. Enter Joseph, icho throws open the door. Jos. Mr. Morris. Annie. {Hurriedly.] We will talk about this another time. [Sits. r. Enter Morris. Mor. Ah, my dearest Amelia ! how excessively annoying, [Seeing Anxie.] Ah, Madame ! I am delighted to see you. I hope you have been keeping my wife company during all this time that I have beea kept away from her by a confounded bore — a man tliat I met. Ame. Ah ! a man that you met! Where did you dine, then? 3ior. We dined — we dined — at the Cafe. A7ne. [Looking at him suspiciously.'] And you dined pretty well, too, if I am to judge by your eye.s. Mor. Good, that! my dear. Judge by my eyes ! Why, so far from that, we had the simplest dinner possible — quite a parson's dinner. A mutton cbop, some codfish, and just a bottle of claret between us. Unices you see the codfish in my eyes, my dear, I am sure I don't know what you do see tliere, [Aside.] Damn that champagne ! Do what we like, it always will show ; it's as bad as segars. Ame. And pray, with whom did you eat this self-denying dinner? Mor. With whom! Oh, my dear, if I should tell you you wouldn't know. Ame. [Pefidavtlt/.] Nevermind. Who was he ? Mor. Well, then, he was — he v/as a merchant, a merchant of Buf- falo, suddenly called home from a tov.n in Palestine, by the news of the panic and the pressure in Brazil, and who want's some accommodation. A Mr. — [hesitatingly] — a Mr. — Slilfelbackenhoven. Ame. What a name ! One would really suppose you had cooked it up. Mor. Ha, ha ! very fine — very funny indeed. First you see a cod- fish in xnj eyes, and then you charge me with cooking up names. I beg leave to ask, in the most respectful manner, wliether you distinctly object to that gentleman from Buffalo bearing the name Stiffelbacken- hoven ? Annie [Laughing.] Ha. ha ! it certainly is a very droll name. Mor. [Laughing, too.] No, do you think so? It's a New Yoik name ^ A>rBRtCAX3 r>- PARIS. -a New York name. My wife ought to know it. A very respeci'a. Y^r^^^/Z^r.^.^"'^^ ^^'^^^' '''' --^ ^^^- ^^^i^ -New Ame. \ ery well ; and where have yon been all day Ion--? J^. Eh ! more questions r [Addresses Axxie.] Would you believe t, Madame, I can never go in or out of the honse without underao- befn^'o 'wh1';:'"""^^'^°- ^l^'':\^\^ you going? AV here have j^ou bmu \\ hat have you seen I And do you know, questions craze me, vexme turn me inside out, swell np my head as big as three, [jld- d^ AmriA^ VeiK Madame, I've been at the exchange. Are^ '^^i^'"^!^^^^^'^^^'^^' , IGoeslo fire-place. Annie. Of course he has. [In a law voice to Amelia.] Go and speak to him. '■ Ame. [Going vp.] And you've only been at the exchan^^e^ Mor. \V hy. certainly. ° ^ff?^. Are you sure'' IFor. The whole bles&ed long day. Arc you still out of sorts ? Ame. [Fuitinff out tier hand.] No, I am not. Mor. [Kissing her hand.] So much the better. I should have been sorry to quit you out of temper. Ame. Quit me I You are not going out attain' 2Ior. Oh! not immediately ; a quarter of "an hour or twenty min- for— '°' "^^ engagement,- some bills to draw to-night for— Ame. For Mr. Stifileblaxenbuffen. perhaps. Mor. Ex-actly ; he leaves in the steamer from Havre to-morrow. Ame. And I am to stay here alone, am 1? I shall die of ennui. But what does that matter ? Once more or less. [Crosses to l. r/ ;^^»-!.''''^^'f^•??.^'y^''^^ reaHy suppose I wanted to go out. [Aside.] Why the devil did I make such a fool of myself as to com*, Annie. [A.^deta Mmux.] Ah, my dear! would to heaven my Both- erer knew a Stifflebackenhoveu. *^ Both. [Onthe/a?u/ing.] Very well. Joseph; I don't need, by Jove, to be announced. [Enl,nng.] Friend.-^, your humble slave. nr rr> !•? ^t/-. , . [AMELIA 5o?t'S. JiJor, [J resses Aj.s- hand.] Good evening, doctor. Annie. What, back already! You didn't stay long with your two patients. ./ o j ^ Both Why should I ? Nothing the matter with No. I: No. 2 dead stone dead ; ninety-five years of age ; no fault of mine that, he died ' Jlur. [(tuiI^.] Ah, doctor! it is the exception that proves the rule. Both. Joker! [To Axxie. J Wheu I came in, they said you were here ; and so here am r. ,) u »cn? Annir?. [Aside,] Of course. Both. Allow me to embrace my wife. [Kisses her.] ^ way I have— I never enter or leave my house without this formality. I have bor- rowed the custom from my father, who never abandoned it for more than half a century. I trust to follow his example. Annie. [Aside and smiling.] There is a pleasant perspective AMEniCAKS IN PARIS. Both \To MoiiKis.] Now, then, my clear Mr. Morris, what a bit of nuick^\ii- you are. ^ What do you do ? Whore do you go ? I never stumble on you at your oiiice or at the exchange. Mor. [Buturhcd.] Why, did you go there to-day ? Boih Three timers to a.k you about those Lrie bonds of mine. Couldn^t tiad you ; supposed 'you were afraid to lace an^mdignaut Europe. , . .r. V y J' nior You didQ't look for rae, then. Ame. No you didn't look for him ; he was there all day long. S'i.'^Allow me"°it two o'clock I saw you in the Rue Jombert. Ame. The Rue Jombert ! S. Y^^^il Why, the deuce, man, I am not -ar-sighied I saw you perfectly well-you were comaig out ol No. 19. I lan alter -pnn hnt bah ! vour cab drove oft so last 1 ,, n u i ^ Ifor \ i^le 11 wish to heaven it had smashed you, you old blab r4lt^n V y yL.i recollect now; Iz... in the Rue Jombert just Lboit 1 vo o-clock I went to a banker there about some discounts So/A. Banker ! No. 19 ! There isn't the ghost of a banker there ! yime. What? i?o^A. I attend the whole liouse. r ^r Rn-mFRFK Armk \ ^Uide,] i^oor Mv. Morris ! [ Goes up L. ^°/ ^"™^^^' I'X Inrst door. M. d'llau.say, the deputy ; Second floor, M. Laix- Ytp^i ioreio'ii office : third fioor , Mo^i'bigrily.] For heaven's sake, don't make out an assessors list of tbeiuT i went to .-ee M. dHaussay. Both. Why, he's in the country ! Ame. Ill the country ! , , , Mor. No, be is.i'c ; he has come back ! B)th. Pooh! [looh! Mor. This very morning! T'[t^'{^ ^^^Ul.^} Well, what of that. Can't ^nS!:'"^;^ ■;;/"]' Eh r 'Sf ^rse, doctor, my husband is right^ Yoi i >ft- to da/ lor the country ; you come ^^^jk .'^'T/r' n ou?e iorenaturall and then, you know, a representative of tbe^^p^^^^^^^ mavverv wtll be a banker— it's not unconstitutional in i^iance, i Bupy^e'^Vough I never heard of a banker who represented the people '"^ trTTZ'id^ 1 She's making fun of me ! Can't blame her ! ^ S.TbeBlond'Haussa^^ Why, he's a chemist. A "^"Zl^^^l Why not ^ The Chemical Bank is the only bank thaf haJn;; goni in New York. He's their agent ; that's the reason I went to him. \A.-Me.] Hold your tongue! Both. [Airi'.tzcd] Eh! what! 4.nnie. \ On the other side.] Uold your tongue! Boo! \Cmfuml.\ Eh ! what ! What's the matter with them all 1 j Ame. [Amlt.] He has lied to me ! 10 AMERICAXS IN PARIS. Annie. [Aside.] ximelia will break out, and then there will be a sceae ! Enter Joseph. 3for. [To Joseph.] Well now ! What do you want? Jos. I beg pardon, -sir ; but Madame Bolherer's maid has just come down to speak with her. Annie. Ah ! yes, I know what she wants. [Aside.] That'll make a diversion. Both. What's it, my duck 1 Annie. Ob, nothing ; something about a dress. Amelia dear, will you come with me 1 Anu. [Agitated.] Yes, yes ; I will come with you. Annie. [To her husband.] You'll find me up stairs. Ame. [Looking at Iter husband.] Oh, I long to be alone with him! 3Ior. [Meeting his xvijeh eye.] Ob, Lord ! I am in for it now ! [Bxeiml Amelia and Anxie, c. 31or. [To BoTHERER.] You are charming ! you are obliging — I am highly indebted to you ! Both. Now then ! what is going onl What ails you 1 Have you a fever ] 3Ivr. Are you blind 1 Are you an owl 1 Didn't you see what I was going through with 1 Both. Now, now ! let's be calm, let's be calm, my dear friend ! One must be calm when one is undergoing a diagnosis.* [Proceeds to feel his pidse.] Where is the pain 1 Mor. Bah! I am just as well as you are! [BaxHEUER l-Toks at him, amazed.] What the devil made you tell my wiie you saw me in the Rue Jombert ] Both. Why 1 was it wrong 1 [Confused. ^ 3Ior. [r.] Yes, by Jupiter, it was wrong. If I choose to say to Ame- lia that I passed the whole day at the exchange, I should like to know why you must set about undeceiving her ? ^Both. My dear friend, I am so little accustomed to snares and de- vices and secrets 3Ior. At least, when you seen me standing there, stnpid and struck dumb, you might have tried to mend matters, and patch up the busi- ness — but no ! no ! you must go on, and on, and on ! Botli. It's true ; I went on. and on, and on. 3Ior. And, thanks to you, I shall have the cursedest row ! Both. [Goodnaiuredly.] No, no! because you went to a banker — a Chemical Bank-er! 3Ior. Good heaven ! you don't mean to say you believed thaf? Both. Why, of course ! You said so— I believed it ! 3Ior. I wish to the Lord yoa were my wife, indeed I do. She didn't believe one word of it. Both. Eh ! what ! Then you hadn't been to see M. d'Haussay '? 3[or. [Angrily.] Damn the man ! I never so much as heard of him. Both. Now ! I knew it couldn't be so. Coming back so suddenly from the country! Discount and analysis arm-inarm! Ah! it wasn't the least bit probable. AMERICAX;? IX PARIS. 11 McT. And now, when my wife demands an explanation—and she W77Z— what am I to say 1 ,., x ,, Both. \Ar>nahhj.\ Say ! Why, what should yon say % Jnst the truth. Mor. Oh yes ! that's very fine ; but there are circumstances. Boili. There are no circumstances, you will say, alter embracing her : for a kiss, you see, smooths the way ; it is an emollient, is a kiss. You will say, " My own darling, I was coming from"— [re/Zed.s] — by the way, where was you coming from '? Mor. Coming from— I was coming from— I was coming from— the third floor. Both. Ah J but the third floor is a woman. Mor. Undoubtedly! and a very charming woman ! Both. Wretched man ! I fear I am beginning to understand you. This trick, this falsehood, this third floor ! Ah ! what desperate symp- toms] Are you, then, threatened with an attack of infidelity 1 Mor. Oh. my heavens, you are stark mad. Bot h. ISeverely.] M. Morris, how do you explain your visits to that young and lovely woman '? Mor. You visit her yourself. Both. Oh, I go as her physician. 3[or. I go as her broker. Both. [Surpri.^ed.}^ Ah J Mor. Yes, I buy American stocks for her ; when you saw me there to-day, I had just been consulting with her. Both. No, really? [Takes his hand.] My dear friend, I am too gli>d to hear what you say. I was beginning to think— but since you are her broker, it changes the whole matter. Forgive me. my dear friend forgive me. . i j ^- r Mor. I^Iorcover, you knew I was acquainted with that lady, lor I have often asked you after her. Both. You are right, you are perfectly right. But my dear friend, I don't see that you shouldn't tell all that to your dear wife. Mor. Now then, you don't! I put it to yourself: When a lovely invalid sends for you, do you talk about her to Mrs. Botherer. Both. Yes. Mor. But, if it is a woman of fashion, sick with a whim, and sitting in a delicious boudoir, and supporting her pensive head upon a dim- pled hand, and burying in cushions of velvet, an exquisite arm. Do you tell all that to your wife 1 Both. Yes, I tell my wife everything ; besides exquisite arms, . dimpled hands, all that is one to me. I look at everything in a scien- tific point of view. Mor. And I look at everything in a financial point of view, but the difterence is, you see, you have a confiding wife, and I a most jeal- ous — Both. That is because you hide things from her. Now look at Annie, she is still as a toad, and yet she knows that I go to see that lady in the Rue Jombert ; that I go there very often— she is a most extraordinary patient— sends for me half a dozen times a day— now it is a headache, then neuralgia— but it don't signify— whatever else 12 A^ERfCAV.S t.V PARtS. it is, it is always her francs for me. By the way, I Just came from her. 3for. [Aatonished.] What! thisrvening. Jjok. Yes, just as I was goiog to diuner she sent for me. jyfor [Affectfd imtifirence.] And what was the matter to-night. £oth. [CrmJi/.] Oh, to-night was the turn of her headache. 3for. [Aside and vexed ] Devil! Then she cannot receire me! Both. I heard the door shut, perhaps ray wife — [Looking out.] No ; it is my dear Annie going up stairs. I'll go after her. Dear soul, she can't live without mo. Ah Morris, Morris, follow my example, give up your stratagems, your deceits. See, there you tremble like an aspea to the thought of your wife, while I march to meet mine, my heart at rest, my head up like another Bayard. Good-bye. [Exit, c. 3for. Ah, cant receive me ! Coiifcuuded headache, and yet when I left at the Cafe Vessau, ^he said this evening. How annoying it is? and yet I can't help laughing when I think of that poor Doctor Both- crer unconsciously playing the part of Cupid's post-man. Headache — can't be seen — neuralgia — I am expected 5 and he never suspects anything. [Changes tone.] What do I gain by itl In the street I am afraid somebody will see me. At home I am afraid that I shall be- tray myself. I am afraid to drink a glas^ of champagne in mine Owli house, and now that muddle-headed Botherer must come in, and stir up ray wife. Heavens ! hero she is ; the storm is about to break. Furl Bails ! and let the tempest pass over I now look out for thunder. [Sits on so/a, L. Ame. [Coming tip very gently.'] Arthur? [He looks surprised.] Give me your hand and forgive me 1 Mar. What? Forgive you! /forgive you? Ame. Just noN\' before our friends I vexed you with tears. I vexed you [MoRKis makes a sign.] Oh ! I understand you — -men do not like to render an account of their doings, and the husband who is suspected, is already almost, lost! 3for. [Rising.] Can you believe ! Ame. Dearest, henceforth I shall wait for your confidence. I shall not command it. 3for. [Aside.] Mo more questions. No more quarrels! What a. splendid operation. Ame. Now, you are not still angry with me? 3Ior. I ! C:^u you imagine it ? Ame. [Taking itp his hat from the piano.] Now that peace is made, I will not detain you. ' J^/or.. What! Ame. Did you not say that you had an engagement. My dear I ask nothing about it. Go and come home— well — as soon as you can. 3Iorris. [Aside.] Since I have no reasons for going out, sappose I make a virtue of staying at home. Ame. You do not go? Mor. No, my darling, and I shall not go ! Ame. What ! not go ? And this business ? Mor. Oh, my dear, there is no business pressing ? You are ro goctl, AMERIGAXS IN PAKIS. 13 SO sweet. I must have the pleasure of passing the evening with you. jime. Truly ? And you will make such a satMfice ? J/or. Sacrifice! not a bit of it! Awe. I am so afraid you will find it tedious. Mor. Tedious ! with you! with ray own dear wife ! Ame. Ah, how happy you make me. lAside.'\ How lucky I took Annie's advice. \_Aloud.'\ Arthur? [Morris embraces his ivife, just on the moment when Lamouret enters, 0- comes down. R. Lam. lAstonished.] Oh! [Aside.] Pretty business this! Tvo stum- bled on a making up. Mor. Ah! Lamouret. it's you, is it? Ame. Oh, yes, I had forgotten to tell you that Mr. Lamouret was here once before this evening. Mor. Indeed ! Lorn. Yes, I stopped as I was going by. jllor. But what is the matter with you ? You look troubled. Ame. Perhaps the business that took you out, awhile ago. Lam. Precisely. Ai)ie. Nothing gone wrong. I hope ? Lam. Every ihing, Madame! I have thrown away a cab fare, and an hour's time. I've lost a chance. Mor. Oh. well, you'll find another one of these days, I dare say. Lam. So I hope. [Aside.'] Where, in the devil's name, did he dine? Ame. [Aside.] Now I wonder if he is going to stay. Lvam. So. Morris, you mean to stay at home, do you ? Mor. Yes. my dear fellow, I consecrate this hour to my wife. Lam. [Forcing a smile.] Charming ! [Aside.] And I expected to find them at si.\es and sevens! Mor. \Goin(/ui}.] I'll just send for Botherer and his wife. Well have some whist.' Joseph ? Lam. And if I don"t intrude. Mor. Nonsense! I thought you always went to the club, like all the rest of the lazy men. Lam. Not till midnight. I meet some friends there— the Viscount Mangerin. Colonel de Sabres. Mor. Ah ! Colonel de Sabres. I know him, he dabbles in stocks.^ • Lam. And he dabbles in love too. [As-ide.] He's in love now with a charming widow, ih-y say, Madame Florentine. Alor. [<5i//cA-/y.] You know her? Lam. Not at 'all! [A.mk.] I only know that she lives in the Kue Jombert. Mor. [Coughing furioushj] Joseph? Enter Jcseph, o. Joseph, go for some ice creams. t Ame. What? Mor. Ice creams, my dear. You know you always like them, and though you can't by per.suaded that Tortoni's is as good as Mai l- lard'g 14 AMERICANS IX PARIS. Ame. It is very kind of you ! Lam. By Jovo ! playiug the honeymoon ! Mar. And Joseph ! go to the doctor's, and beg him and his wife to oome fvnd take a hand with us after supper. [Exit, Joseph, o. Lam. Ob, don't send Joseph. I'll take the message myself. I'm going to consult the Doctor about my palpitations. \^Lays his hand on his heart.'] This organ is so sensitive ! jUur. Pooh! stuff! nonsense! You are only hypochondriac — get married. Lam. [Going otif.'] I'll be back directly. [Aside.] Let's see "what I can do in theRue Jombert. Nothing going on here! [Exit, c. Ame. And now, dear Arthur, while we wait for our friends, come and sit by my side. [She draws an arm-chair to the fire. Mor. Just so ; let's sit down. Ame. Ab, my dear Arthur, how long it is since I have had you so to myself. Mor. [Holding out hk hand.] There is a good time coming, my dear, you know, and what is so good as to be stretched out comfortably in a good arm chair? Ame. [Taking the chair at his side.] And near one's wife. 3Ior. And near the fire. Ame. One has so many things to say. 3Ior. [Tenderly.] So many things, dearest child. [Changes his tone.] Don't you think the chimney smokes? Jime. Not at all ! 3Ior. Perhaps not, perhaps it's only a notion. Ame. [Tenderly.] Arthur ! 3Ior. [Taking up the newspaper.] Just allow me, darling, to glance at the article about these French Oliambers. Ame. Oh, what are you going to bury yourself in ! 3[or. Nothing ! nothing, only I didn't see the papers today, and it's so interesting. I can't get over my New York habits. [Tenderly.] You wouldn't have me get over my New York habits. Ame. [^Tenderly.] No. dearest, not I. Mor. But this is so odd. A "Poll tax on dogs,'' '• Belgian coals" — Ame. Now, darling, pray put it down. I don't know anything about your politics. Mor. Ab, they have killed the tax. That's all I cared to know. [ Throivs the paper down. Ame. [Joyously.] Now let us speak of ourselves — of our memories — of Mor. Of our iove. Ame. I hardly dared pronounce that word. Mor. Why so ? Ame. Why, I sometimes have thought you love me less than when — 3Ljr. Love you loss! I that am always, as much as possible, that is, at your side. I that at this moment Confound it the chimney * certainly does smoke ! Ame. [Vtxecl.] Still the chimney 1 3Ior. They can't build a chimney in France. I've sent to the land- lord at last. AMERICANS IN PAUlf?. 15 Ame. Shall I open the window ? Mor._ Oh, no, thank you. Not to freeze us — does your chimney smoke ? Ame. {Crosh^^y^ Not a bit. Mor. So much for taking a house. You preferred it, you know, dear, and here we are caught. Confounded smoke — and we were talk- ing so nicely. What were we talking about? Ame. Oh. I've forgotten. Ah, shall I play for you a little ? Mor. {Slrctcliing out in his chair.] Yes, yes, that is just the thing. Sing, dear, sing, and I will be your audience. I'll applaud you like a whole academy gallery. Ame. And I've just learned a new romance, "Thy heart to me ia closed." 3Ior. Oh, fie ! don't say that ! I prefer something gay and brilliant. {^Afiide.} It keeps me awake. Ame. Ah ! here's one — " We're all Noddin'." Mor. We're all uoddin'. I shall imagine I'm in an auction room. Ame. I'll see what else I have. \_Turns over htr music. 'Momiis meamvhile falls asleep in his chair.} Ah, here is something gay, Arthur ! Arthur ! Mor. [^Dreaming.'] Coach dan ! driver ! to the opera house. Ame. \_Coming up amazed. 1 What does he say ? Mor. To the opera ball ! Ame. Ah, he is asleep. He loves me no more. \_She dashes away a tear, at the same moment tfie door opens. Lam. [^Outside.] Come in, my dear madam, come in, you are ex- pected. Aine. [Seizing her husband by the arm.] Arthur, somebody is coming 1 Mar. [Jumping up.] "We won't go home till morning." [Aside.] I believe 1 was asleep. Enter Axxie ivith Lamouret. Annie. Ah ! what a charming idea — an improvised soiree. It was your thought, was it not, Monsieur Morris? Allow me to congratu- late you on its success! [Moiiuis goes dozen and prepares the whist table. Both. [Outside.] My wife? Where is my wife ? Annie. Now hear him. I can't once amuse myself without him. Enter Botheker, a tetter in his hand. Both. Here I am I here I am ! Whist ! Ice creams ! ab, ha ! Count us with you. Me and my wife ! Annie. Of course. Both. My own darling, I am perfectly wretched. A dreadful press of business — it will make you miserable. 1 must quit you at mid- night ! Annie. Indeed! And why? Both. [ With the letter.] My colleague, Desgranges, is ill. I must go to the hospital in bis place. Annie. Oh, what can one say ? Duty is duty. [Aside.] I knew all about it three hours ago. Both. But you are so unhappy whenever I leave you. f^am. [A.^id€.] I've tumbled iuto a dove cot, by Jove ! lb AMEracANS ix PAnJS. liolh. \_Asidt to MoKRiiJ J I gay, my friend, the broker, I've just come from the Rao Jonibert ! Mor. What! Now? Both. Yes. I'ound a note from her up stairs. '-Come, come — lam dying— quick ! •' I hurry off". Mor. Well? Biith. {Gaily.'] Headache gone! the neuralgia come on, Mor. Indeed! neuralgia? Both. Ordered some barley-water with sugar in it, and charged ten francs! 3Ior. [Aside.] Neuralgia! she expects me, and I've promised to stay here ! Ame. [From the whist tnhle ] Dear, are you coming to make the fourth Avith Dr. and Mrs. Botherer. Mor. Oh, certainly ! [Adde.] Devil take it, it might have been done on purpose. It's infernal! [Crosses, l. Enter Joseph. Ah ! Joseph, how about that ice cream ? Jos. I can't get any, sir, there are so mafiy ordered out. Mor. [Aside.] What an idea- Jos. I went too late, sir. Mor. Nonsense! it's only your ignorance; any Yankee would find, enough in tiveTninutes ! Ame. Oh. well, its a tritlo. Annie. We'll get along very well without them. Jos. And, indeed, sir, they can't be got. 3[or. [Rising] Pooh ! Y\{ bet I'll tind them. Ame, What, my dear, you don't think of going out yourself, surely? Both. And so cold as it is? Mor. Only a quarter of an hour, not a inom»'nt longer. Lamouret pray take my hand. [They all look up and remonstrate.] Nonsense, back in five minutes, with a whole Arctic region of ice creams ! [Goes Old. They take up the cards. Both. [Ri.ses and goes to u-indow. L.] I don't believe he'll be able to find the Rue Glacier. I'll see which way he goes. There — I knew it — there be goes toward the Rue Jombert. ..4m?. The Rue Jombert ! Ah ! [Fain's in chair. Both. She faints ! The sal volatde ! Quick ! [Lamouret hands a surgeon's saiv in mistake. END OF ACT I. AMERICANS IN PARIS. 17 ACT II. SCENE I. — Saloon at the Maison d'Or — Richly furnished. Colonel De Sabres, r., De Lucexat, l., Maxgerix, Lamouret, r., Grouped around a small table, and drinkijig punch. Col. Now that you've toi=secl off your punch, my dear Monsieur Laniouret. pray tops us off your story. Lam. Really ? won't it bore you ? ^ ' Col. Quite the contrary. You amuse us extremely. [Lamouret boics and drinks. Luce. By all means. We are comfortable here. The ball will keep, and as a husband I like to know what is going on. Col \_Pultlng doicn his glass.] You were saying the husband went out for some ice creams. Lam. Leaving me his substitute at the whist table. Col. Well? Luce. Then? Lam. Half an hour — an hour went by, Marlborough did not como back AIL Marlborough! Lam. The husband ! I hide the real name, you know. Col. Ah, you are very discreet, for a gossip — pray go on. Ljom. You will understand, gentlemen, that this prolonged absence began to seem suspicious. Every body was embarrassed — every body played badly — the lady of the house looked miserably at the clock, and I— I laughed in my sleeve, thinking, '-bravo! this is very fine ! this is warming up." Luce. But at last ? for, after all, a husband 7nust sooner or later come home ! Lam. When we broke up at midnight he hadn't reappeared ! .,iU. Really? Lam. Stillabsent under a pretext of buying ice cream. Col. Did he go to Norway after them? Lam. So you see ii's quite clear that here we have a husband break ing bounds. Luce. And breaking forever I should say ! Lam. Well, these are the facts. As for the fruit of them — [He trims his moustaches. Luce. [Risins: and passing to the left of Lamoure'i.] What a dangerous fellow you are ! We must look out for you ? Lam. Let the story be a warning to you, my dear de Lucenay, who have a charming wife, and pass all your nights zX the club — at the balls. Luce. {Sitting dozen again.] Oh ! my wife adores me ! Jjam. No doubt, but fhe is an ardent, passionate creature, who 18 AMERICANS IN PARIS. wouldn't easily put up with an affront, [^^slde.} And I am always ready to avenge injured innocence! Col. lSo/emlt/.'\ My dear Monsieur Lamouret, do you know that if I were the husband of whom you have been talking to us. and should get wind of your gracious projects, I should give you just so long to live, as it would take to go from your rooms to the Bois de Vincennes. Say, with a good carriage — mine for instance — ^just twenty-five minutes I Lam. By Jove! Colonel, you don't mean it. Col. {^Taking out a ciyar.'] I fall in love with a woman, and I fall out again, but I won't have any man pull me out. For instance last week I was paying court to a lady. There was a young coxcomb who undertook to cut me out. I surprised him one morning. Came in on the two. Z77??.'"And there was a dreadful quarrel ? Col' Not at all ! just these words : I said, '' Sir, my carriage is at your orders." Half an hour afterwards we were facing each other at fifteen paces. He paid no more visits. \_IIands Lamouret his cigars.] Do you smoke ? Lam. No, thank you, don't use them. [Aside.] If I got into a row with that fellow, I should inform the police. Luce. V/ell, do we sup here together ? [^Crosses to r., table. 3Ian. With all my heart ! Luce. And you Colonel ? Col. Oh, certainly ! I went to-night to the Rue Jorabert to bring a lady to the ball, but there was a neuralgia, and I saw a scene, just for a vase of flowers that the maid wished to put out on the balcony, and her mistress ran up, took the flowers away and boxed her ears. So the maid began to cry, and the mistress to scold. One " leave my house," the other " 1 will be revenged," and I took my hat, and bowed myself out ! Luce. So you are alone at the ball ? Lavi. Oh, look for a consolation! Show your skill in finding a con- quest I Col. My dear sir, pray preach by practice. You have the air of a conqueror. I'ou talk of your prowess, and you are always alone You walk about alone, you sup alone. Is it a vow you have taken? Jjam. [Disdaiiifulli/.] I scorn facile victories ! Col. [Coming toicards In'm.] Eh! we didn't make a mistake. There is no victory facile to a man who has not one, at least, of three good qualities. One must be either handsome, rich, or witty, and on these scores, my dear sir Jjam. Eh ! I don't quite see ? Luce. Handsome! Col Rich ! Luce. Or_ witty. La7n. [Vexed.] Ah, laugh away, gentlemen. I'll make a bet with you. Col. Good! What is it? Lam. Let's bet supper that before an hour's time, I shall have made a conquest. [All laughing violently. AMEniCAXS IN PARIS. 19 Col. I take the bet, however. [Baptiste comes in with anvther waiter."] I say, waiter, keep a cabinet for three o'clock, and put some cham- pagne on the ice. And now, gentlemen, to the opepa ball. I31usic strikes up a ivaltz. MouRis comes in as the Colonel and Lamouret go out, talking together, 2 D. e. Morris seeing Lamouret, wheels about and bunts his face in a newspaper, which he finds on the chimney- piece. 3Ior. [Coming down foricard.} Ccnfound that Lamouret ! What's he doing here? And that was the Colonel with him. I'm sure; and I think I saw Lucenay, the broker. Well, its all right now, and they are gone ; but I've met every body I know in Paris, to-night, at the Ball, and half of New York besides, it seems to me ! Waiter ? Bap. [R.] Sir? 3Ior. [l. To himself.'] In the boxes, in ihe corridor, every where, somebody in the way. ''Ah! how d"ye do?" and "how's your wife ? " I suppose because one's married, one mayn't go to a masked ball. Waiter ? Bap. Sir? Mor. I kept bobbing my bend about till I thought it would drop off. I flattened my uose for ten minutes against a pillar. Waiter ? [Angnly. Bap. Sir! Mor. A private room and supper for two. Bap. Oh, you needn't say that, sir? Mor. What! Bap. Gentlemen don't come here alone, sir. No dances here, sir. Mor. Very well. I don't want any of your observations. [Lower.] Have you a cabinet with a private entrance on the small stairway ? Bap. We have two. sir. No. 10, and No. 8. The famous No. 8. 3lor. Famous or infamous, I take No. 8. B(i]p. Very good. sir. Mor. At three o'clock when I come in by that door, a lady will come in by that door ! Bap. On the little stairway ? All right, sir. Mor. You will let her in ? Bap. [Mysteriously.] Sir? [Aside.] That's a married man. [Music ceases. 3Ior. Give me the bill of fare and a glaf=s of absinth. Bap. Immediately sir ! Don't they keep up their lark, though, these married men. When I save some money, I'll marry too, and have some fun. [Exit, c. .Mor. Well, what next, I wonder. Here have I begun the night by standing sentry for 2 hours in the balcony of the od floor, Rue Jora- bert, while Colonel de Sabres sat inside, with his feet at the fire mak- ing love to Madame Florentine. I was all of a shiver in the fog with- out, he all of a glow in the cozy room. [Rubs his shoulders.] That's the way people take rheumatisms, and then they go home, and say, " there was a window open behind me in the omnibus coming home," or I got my feet wet out shooting. And then there was that devilish servant girl came near opening the window with the pot of flowers. 20 AMERICANS 7N PARIS. but no. it's not my li^ck! ^'■^"' "'■•" "■■ "" ea"liq«ake - -S^r;?. [Coynes back.] Here sir is ihn h;ii r.p r -. , And if Monsieur vvi/l pass in[o ll/e fam L No'l h'^^ti f'r t^"''* and ink to order his own supper will,. ' ^"^ '''^' ^'°^ P^ns [Goes info the v.. ii. cabinet 2 ^^ t? «»^7 .7 7 ^ 3Ior. AUer all what does it s "nifv let n. ' Ir'' '^'f f^''^ ^^^• I'm sure to be scolded! Well ! Waiter, IsayT "'' ^^'^' "" '^''^' middle door, l. r i, AaiSi vlL Rnl/ "''•/"■'''^'^^'^' ^^^^ ^'^ «^ ^^'^ cles, and tiuth lus collar turned up to hide the lower part ofhlfaT ^^P^^^^9 #A.. W.J Come, doctor, come! I'saw him come S" y^ry suif. 1:f "^t^ ^l' ^^^ ^"^^^ ««re ? Quite 7 theXorl^ouse ustXn Iw^^^^^^ "?^^^ *^« P^^^^^-'e of you to take me 'ome '' ^'^'""^ "P ^^^' ^^^^'^^ ^»d asking i?o/7i. And go, shall we go home ? -4?7?6. Oh! doctor, not yet ! not yet' Both. Now,_my dear lady, allow me ! you- ^»?e. Monsieur Morris is here pertninl'^T K,if .-o i, i, w..n, here l.r some one. Ah,'S:^^^-: ^ "^ ^^^ night I have been enjoying Ih^l ^0; of foUn. n '^7^'^'"«e ^id- after your husband, by tL facdfice of my ifZ Zl f '?' ^'^^ ^"^ a physician ! ^ "'^^'^^ ^^ ^ husband and as pZ': v' - /^'' rffoach me with this service. -i^6^/*. Far from it! but Ame. To whom elsetould I apply 2 Both. I am much flattered by your choice, but ^me. ±>ut at midnight, when Arthur etm cf„ i J^otli. h\\ 1 is be a r-f)ninambulist ? ^ ' fio'''. I had just given ray farewell kiss to Annie in,l „l,nrf .1 . dear soul was putting up ber curls. I set ol"fm- ,"l bo ,^it 1 '" """ appe:rto^^o°u"!!i '"""='' o<-y«u-of your kinS^f;:.'-,-, ,„ intot^Z^rNT^vL^l'set^^oVJsist."^'"""''"^- ' ^^^ f""™ AMERICA>-S IN PARIS. 21 Am£. Ah ! if you knew what jealousy is! Both. Jealousy ? Not know what it is ! If s aa acute disease, Madame, but there's nothing iu the Materia Medica to reach it, and not much art- ylme. Hush ! he isu'i! alone ! Both. [Aside.] 1 shall never get away ! [Goes toward cabi?id, r. Anie. [Somebody's talkiug witb him. Both. [Listernm/.] It's a male voice ! .4/He. 1)0 you think so ? - Both. [Decidedly.] No female lungs there, Madame. The waiter, 1 take it, he is not a Ganymede, nor your husband a Jupiter, so 1 sup- pose you won't be jealous of the waiter. Ame. Oh these emotions are unendurable ! Both. Then, dear lady, don't endure them. Pray come away, ihe thing is clear, Mr. Morris would come to the ball, and without you. He will sup and without you. and it's atrocious I admit. No husband has a right to sup without his wife ; but he might have done worse. i:o do let's come away. Eh 1 , 'bne. Just one moment, doctor, to see his friends arrive ! Both. [AshU] Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord ! Now she must wait for the friends ! [Looks at his watch.] A quarter past two. [Aloud.] But, madam, if your husband should pass out and find himself dogged- find me at his heels. , , -, .^ i ^u i . *,. .'Iwe.' Oh, he'll never know it, he shan't know it, and thanks to this mask Both. But i'uenomask! A7ne. Oh, with those goggles, and that coat collar. Both Decidedly, madam, you are too unreasonable ! I shall go, l am a physician, madam. Think of my patients, madam, if one should die. I am a husband, I owe it to my wife. ^me. Somebody's coming—hold your tongue. [Fids on her mask. Eotheker his glasses, and they converse together. Enter MoiiTiis followed by Baptiste, R. p. Mar Now you understand, a^ three o'chclc. Oh! somebody here I [He turns up his coat cottar. ^^». rTI7H'.?j9mng Morris.] All right, sir. J/or. It seems to me I know every body I meet, and meet every bodvl know. [Goes up and then slyly tcidks around Lotherer and Amelia.] Ah ! it would appear that gentleman too is not over anxious to be recognised. Another noodle like unto myielt ! Both. [To XyiVAAx.] He's going! Ame. Let's follow him. Both. [Raising his voice.] Ah! no, indeed ! Ame. Speak low ! , . t Mor. [Stopinnn.] Eh 1 Don't I know that voice] . [He looks at Bothereu and Botherer looks at him, their eyes meet. Both. f7\) Amelia.] He's watching us! ,^ , « .i,„t Mor. [Coming doicn.] The deuce ! its very odd— that figure— that overcoat, by Jove it's he ! [Aloud.] I say, Botherer ! Both. [Involuntary.] Eh! <>f>. AMKKICAXS IX PARI,?. Mor Ab ! ha ! tny boy. I've caught you, have 1 1 Both. [Aside.] I'm caught ! Ame. [Asich.] I shall be ! Mor. Ho ! ho ! ray medical St. Anthony ! this is the way we so to an hospital.is It J Are you studying the " Mori, a Doric} from the ECientific point of view] Ha! ha! iium luy Both. {Earnestly.] I assure you Mor. l^Roaring 'with lavghter.] Ah, imposter ! imposter ! Now. don't say a word and to think how you took me in, and, as we say in New f\i i'\ ^fy'Y.''''^ ^ ^^^"^^'^ y°^ ^0 green ! oh ! oh oh I Both. But I do declare to you Aj,ie. {To BoTHEi^ER.] In the nnme of heaven, not one word. Mor Unhappy Botherer, if only your wife knew ^ hoth. My wifs ! r \,r^... 4. 7 • Mo,. Oh good gracious I didn't mean to say it. My dear doctor I am as bad as you .;^re about the Rue Jombert. [Amelia XH Just as bad. I beg a thousand pardons! And you, my dear madam Zfo :^:Z ""'' ' ''^ ''''^ '''^ ^'^'' ^^^^ ^ P«^r friend herrit^o Both. Now he's in for it ! Mor [mth cm afflicted air.] Alas! yes, my dear madam, we are married. Uou't blame us-we are very sorry for it -5oiA. Morris! '' rA\r,^TT. / ?• nr^ r rn ry -, -^ I AMELIA stop$ him. Mar. /bBoTHEREE.] Be quiet! [To himself.] I'll set it all rio-ht ' Ah madam. It you knew the misery, the monotony of married life Both. [Aside.] Go a head then! as you sav in New York thfdo,ne Xta:Jf,r:.' "'''"^^ "' '■"■ "^^ '^■'^'' """-'^ "= S'™ "> Both. [Aside.] Blockhead! blockhead! Mor. For as soon as we can break bounds, you wouldn't think us the same men. We are all life and animation. My friend the doctor here at home a very Cato, a very saint for pui'ity, once get him oft on such an expedition as this, and he becomes more amusing than a light comedian, throws up his heels like a rope dancer. Bot/i. Lonlouud his impudence ! Mor. He kicks off his respectability like a pair of boots. [Amelia can hardlrj restrain the i?idig?iation of Botuerek.I But I see I make three, so heaven forbid I should stay. I expect to be as well as your- self my gay Esculapms, at three o^ciock. [Boivs to Madame. Ame. [Aside.] Heavens! 3Ior. Couldn't we all sup together, and make a night of it 7 A7ne. [On BoTHEiiER's arm.] Ah' Both. [To Morris.] Hold your tongue, sir! If you knew before whom you were speaking "^ Alor. Oh! no offence; I can respect tbe incognito of beauty. [Boios m a conceited manner.] Madame, adieu ! [To Botherer.I Adieu, you yrn^ngnoscal [B.it, laicghin^j immoderaU, j.. v I ^l9;2e. Oh, doctor! A chair ! a chair ! Both. [Catching her as she is about to faint.] Now then ! now then' .^me. Air, air ! I am fainting ! wfter*! ^IvaU?/?"*-^ ^^''^^ '''"^' *^' ''^^"' P''^'"^* ' [^'''^''^ '^'^ ^^?M AMERICANS IX PARIS. ZO Enter Baptiste. (!. Bap. Madame ? [Dawn r« ! Both. Quick ! a private room a cabinet ! [Hands the .ml voljiUe oui of his medical bag to AyiziAA.. ' Bap. Ah ! the lady i.s unwell ! Both. What is that to you ? Be in a hurry. [Zb Amelia.] Courage ! Courao^e ! Amelia. [Rising.'] Oh. It'll be soon over! Both. Heaven grant it. My poor head is going. Bap. The room is ready, sir. Ame. [As tliey go to i/.] Oh ! why did I ever come here. [Exit, L. D. 2 E. Both. [Exasperated.'] Exactly ! why did I ever come here ! [Looks at the clock.] 20 minutes to 3. Bap. What shall I order, sir. Both. An infusion of Valerian, and be quick ! [Goes in L. Bap. An infusion o: Valerian ! why it's a dose ! fancy me .roaring down stairs, '-Infusion of Valerian for oue !" [-4s Baptiste speaks Annie comes in, in a blue dominie, looking about her.] Apart.] Ah, a lovely domino. [Aloud] Madame is looking for some one? Annie. Yes, three ladies. Bap. Three ladies ? Annie. You have not seen thera ? Bap. Three ladies dressed as firemen, in company with eight gen- tlemen ? Annie, [brightened.] Good heavens, no ! three ladies alone! Bap. Alone ? we haven't any such here, Madame ! but it's still early, Madame. Annie. I suppose I may wait ? Bap. Certainly, and what shall I bring Madame ? A Punch ? Annie. [Aside.] I must take something. [Aloud.] A Punch? No indeed I a glass of sugar and water. Bap. Infusion of Valerian ! sugar and water ! 'Voice outside. Waiter, waiter ! 3 champagne punches. Bap. [Going out c ] Ah ! there is the genuine article ! Annie. [Taking off her mask.] What a woman, to leave me alone ia that mob. Ah ! Madame Giraud I shan't forget this trick ! But what has become of them ? I can't go home alone ; I dont wan't the ser- vants to know of the matter. And there's my poor husband who thinks me sound asleep. [The door ope)is.] Heaven's, somebody's com inf. [Puis on hei' mask again. Both. [Coming out and speahing to Amelia within.] I'll fetch a cab! Eh ! what do you say. [Goes back for a moment. Annie. Why it's himself 1 It's Botherer ! It's a dream ! but no, I'm wide awake as usual. [Laughs.] Ah, Botherer that's your way of watch- ing the sick, is it ? drinking here with your colleagues, wetting your grave old whiskers with champagne, it's very odd, very lucky too— I'll just fool him a little, end then we'll go home together, or back to the ball which was so funnv. Both. [Re-enters.— To himself] She's come to her senses, she agrees to go home. [Annie takes his arm as he is going out.] I beg your pardon Madame, you've made a slight niistake. 21 AMERICANS IN PARIS, Annie. [Dissitnsing her voice.'] Oh, no ! Both. No 1 But you have though ! Do you know me ? Annie. Ah, yes! Both. [Aside.] Humph! well it's some patiiut of mine. [Almd.] I am quite sure Madame. I am cau't be of any use to you juss now. Annie. Oh, yes, you can. Both. Are you ill ? Then go home at once, and sen I for me. I don't prescribe here, and I beg you to let go my arm. If anybody should see us in this position, it would compromise me as a married man. Amiie. [Following him.] Good Botherer, always thinking of me. Both. [Trcjing to go.] Madame ! an revoir ! Arinie. [Stopping him.] Allow me ! Both. [Aside ] Some designing wretch. [Aloud] Madame, I am m baste. May I ask what you want? Annie. A service. Both.. [A^ide.] Another woman! [Aloud.] Madame, do you happen to have a husband. Annie. Yes. Both. Then I'll bet he's caracoling about at the ball. Annie. Yes, alas ! Both. Are you running after him? Annie. Exactly. Both. And you want me to travel in your caleche? Annie. You've hit it. Both. [Aside ] Upon my honor the best tjiing I can do, is to laugh at it all. [Aloud.] My angel, you must let me go, I have wasted enough time, though I am going ^or a cab. Release me, if you please. Good Lord, Madame, I say you you are pinching me. Annie, [Choking with laughter .] Monsieur, I intreat you. Both. [Aside] It's an adventuress. Let's destroy her hopes. lAloud.] Madame. I am here with a friend. Annie. [Gaily.] Ah ! Both. With a lovely friend, Madame. Annie. [Troubled] YXit Both. A lovely woman, Madame. Annie. A woman. Both. Moreover, she is as jealous, and as savage as a tigress ! Annie. [Aside.] Oh, heavens ! Both. And I'm going for a cab to take her away, sorry to be obli- ged to quit you so abruptly. Annie. [Staggering to a chair.] Oh, I shall faint. Both. [Aside.] Oh, I know all about that sort of thing ! now I'm rid of her ! this night ought to balance two nights on d«ty in the Na- tional Guard. [Exit, l. u. e. Music. Annie. [Drops her mask and falls iiito the chair u.] A woman! I shall faint. [Energetically.] No, I won't! No! [Rushes to door of cabinet L. and throws it v:ide open.] Come out Madame, Come out, I say ! I know all ! [Amelia comes out.] Heavens ! Amelia! Ame. Annie. Annie. You with my husband. AMKRTCANS IN PARIS. 25 Ame, Ob, don't bo ooncerne*, I carrier! bim off by force, alraosf, to hunt up my husband for me. My husband who is a deceiver and traitor. Aimie. Your husband. Oh, my dear, I sm so delighted to hear it. Ame. What! Annie. Oh, excuse me, I am so glad it wasn't my husband, who is a — ^me. You glad of that. You, who this very evening complained to me of I^lherer's devotion. Yv'by I thought you wanted him to run away from you. An7iie. Oh, yes, it's all very well to pay that, when one's sure that he «'o/i 7 run away. But my dear, my dear. [Takes her hand.] What have you learned ? what have you learned ? Ame. My husband is at the ball with a woman who is coming here to sup with him. [Stop music. Annie. Horrible ! Oh you must make a scandal — Ave have our rights— we must maintain them — never again shall my husband leave me /or one single, minute. Ame. But you ? Are yon right in being here ? Anuie. Oh, tkaL's Madame Giraud's fault. Ame. So I guessed. Annie. You know wiiat I said to you. Well, she came after Both- erer had gone ; she insisted, so I came, came with her friends Mes- dames Fairwell and De Lucenay, and I lost them and lost her. Only I left ! I. perfectly alone in the midst of a sea of promenaders, and they are so imprrtinent at the masked ball, you've no idea. Even Mr. Loveit was there, and would insist upon my supping with him. Av^e. Did he recognise you? Annie. Thank fortune, no ; he is such a scandal monger ! At last I got away here, when I hoped to find my party, and where I did not expect to find you. Now tell me how shall 1 get home ? Ame. I can save you I Annie. How? Ame. You really want to get away? Annie. Indeed I do! Ame. And I really want to stay. Annie. Well. — ■ — Ame. Your husband will be back in five minutes with a cab. Let us change dominos. You keep on your mask, and be miserable, cry if you can, all the way home, there the Doctor will leave you, and hurry on to his hospital. A7inie. Oh, that's delightful. Ame. Come be quick, some one's coming-. [They go into cabinet. Enter Lamoukrt and. Col. De Sabres, l. u e. Lamouret sees Anxie as she reilrts. Lam. My blue domino. [He runs after her hut lilie slams the door. Col. Well my dear Monsieur Lamouret in ten minutes you'll have lost your bet. Lam. In ten minutes I shall have won it ! Liice. Pooh, pooh ' where is your conquest? 26 AMERICAXS IN PARIS. Lam. Where ? No matter, wait a liUle, heavenly arms, blue dom- ino. Luce. [Lmighing.] Heavenly blue ? Col. I did see you talking to something of the sort, but where is Bhe now ? Lam. [Goes l.] There ! in that cabinet. Gentlemen stand aside and don't interrupt, see, she is coming out. [Amelia comes out icith the viask and domino of Anxie. Avie, [Fancyirtg lunelf ahne.'\ I heard a noise perhaps it Was Arthur. Luce. [Aside.] That domino is devilish like my wife. Ante. [Aside.] Could it have been Arthur. [Seeing Lamouret — aloud.} Oh, heavens ! Lam. So I've caught you at last, have I, angel! witch ! siren ! de- mon ! sylph. Ame. [Aside.! in fear.] Wha t will become of me ! Lam. The chase has been long, my dearest charmer but what a prize at last. Luce. [To himself .] Just my wife's height and figure. If I wasn't sure that my wife adores me ! Ame. [Aside, ?t'/u7e Lamouret makes signs to his friejids.] I shall be lost if he learns that I am here alone. Lam. [hiterrupting her.] My beauty ! to the point at once. Let us take some supper. Ame. [Terrified.] Sir! Lam. You know my sentiments already. Now try my supper. I have made a declaration to you at the ball ; I now offer you a bill of fare, to supper. Ame. Leave me, sir. Leave me. [She tries to go. Lamouret detains her. His friends all laugh.] Let me go, sir ! [At this moment 'Mokki^ ap- pears. She runs and takes his arm. Morris looks surprised.] Mar. Well now, what's the row? Lain. [Aside.] Morris ! My American paragon ! What a discovery I Morris. [Aside.] Lamouret ! Lamouret again. La7n. [Aside.] It was a preconcerted thing. I've got the clue to it though ! 3Ior. Madame I beg— Ame. [Li a luiv voice and holding his arm.] Arthur, save me. Iforris. [Aside.] Arthur, she knows me — it is Madame Florentine ! Col. [Coming forward.] I think I see Mr. Morris. Mor. [Aside and trouUed.] Colonel De Sabres! Col. Ah, Ah Mr. Morris. So you have given into our Paris cus- toms at last, have you ? 3Ior. [Aside^ How shall I get out of this business ? Lam. [Whispers to Colonel.] It's the husband who went after the ice creams. Col. [Whispers.] Ah, bah ! then no wonder he's confused. Lam. [Crossi7ig over to Lucexay and Maxgerix.] It's the ice cream man. Luce. [To himself.] I was a fool. The idea of suspecting my wife. Col. Monsieur Morris, we beg pardon for interrupting you — boreing you perhaps. AMKniCANS nr PATHS. fif-' Mor. Oh, no! oh, no! Doa't think it. [Aside.'\ What shall I do, if Le c:rows more riotous ? Col. [ Whispers to Mokris.^ A married man doesn't always care to be be recognised. [Passes vp toivards Jdsfriaid. Mor. \_Aside.'\ Ah, a capital idea strikes me. \_Low to Amelia.] Be cool, dear Florentine. Ame. \^Aside.'] Dear Florentine! Mor. IBearing Amelia L.] This lie will serve both of us. ^Aloud.] Well, gentlemen, I have come to the opera ball, and to amuse myself. I suppose a man may amuse himself, if he is a foreigner, with his wife ! All. His wife I ! Ame. \_Aside.'\ What does he mean ? Mor. My wife, whom I left here for a moment to find heron my return, the object of persecution. Col. Which we all disown, most decidedly ! Lam. [Ironically.] Certainly, I never suspected that Mrs. Morris. [Whnpers to Coloxel.] It is not his wife, I know. Col. [To Lamouuet.] I'll find out whether it is or not. [Crosses to Morris. j Monsieur Morris, since we have been so fortunate as to meet Madame and yourself, I hope you will do us the honor to sup with us us, Lara. [Aside.] Delicious! He's caught. Mor. [Aside.] Then all's up. [Aloud.] Certainly, sir, we are delight- ed — but I he fiict is — indeed — we — I have engagements— in short-^ Ame. [Aside.] Oh, yes, I know your engagements. Cul. [Boxes to Amelia.] Perhaps Madame will lend a kinder ear to us. Ame. [Rising.] Yes, sir ! we will sup with you, and with pleasure. Mor. [Siupified.] Eh? All. [Ttamder struck.] She accepts I Ame. [Aside.] Now, I've got him, and Madame Florentine shall Eup alone. 3Ior. [To Amelia.] You've ruined me ! fjom. [To his friends.] Do you see how vexed he looks. Luce, in fact it's odd. I must find out — Bap. [Comes in with champagne, and whispers to MoRRiS.] The lady is in Number 8. iJIor. [Amazed.] The lady ! What lady. Bap. What lady ! The lady you expected. [I'hints to the door and exits by another C. 3Ior. [Staring at Amelia.] What, and who in the world then is this lady? L-im. [Overhearing him, and aside.] Another 1 then there are tivo ri- vals. Another chance for me. Col. Mr. Morris, you will come with us. Mor. [Embarrassed.] Oh. yes — of course — immediately — but — exact- ly no — only I just wish to say one word to my wife. Col. We'll wait for you. [The friends enter (he middle door, but hx^omi^-v covxes softly back. JLam. I've wop my supper. ^ [Siipi into k. u. cabinet. 28 AMERTCArfS IN PAKIS. 3Ior. Now then, they're gone ! "Well Madame. [Amelia falls into a chair in a Jit of laughing.'] Well, Madiirae, I hope you Avill find all this very funny. It's infamous! It's insutFerable ! Ame. [Disr/uisinr/ her voice.} Now, why do yon put yourself into such a dreadful passion ? Afor. Wiiy ! "Why do you, Madame. Why do you accept my arm, and drag me into an awful scrape, and get me into all manner of mis- chief in return for my protection of you ! And why do you now dis- guise your voice ? A77}e. Because I don't want you to know me ! J/or. But Madame, / want to know you. I insist upon knowing you ! A7ne. Who am I ? Well, sir, since you insist upon knowing — I ara — I am the wife of a gentleman whom you have seen on the Ex- change ! Irlor. On the Exchange ? Jlmc. And who ivS in this house at this moment. Mor. [Aside] Good heavens I it is Ljiceyiay I Ame. This husband of mine, whom i love, this husband is a traitor I he deceives rac ! Mor. \_Aside ] I always suspected that Lucenay. Jime. Yes, deceives me. and for a woman, who no doubt deceives him in hia turn, and for her sake, he disturbs my home and makes me wretched. Mor. [Earnestly.] It is abominable of him ! Ame. And yet I dare say this woman is neither as young nor so good looking as myself. Itlor. [Aside.] l'\e no doubt of it, for Madame Lucenay is charm- ing. Ame. And so, sir. in my indignation, my excitem.ent, I resolved to punish this deceiver, to punish — Mor. You are quite right. Ame. Yes, to revenge myself upon him. [Rising.] and it is of you, sir, that T ask assistance in my purpose. Mor. [Delighted.] Of me? I, ^ladame ! I — I renounce all other other engagements. I will be your protector — Your Charaperon. Ame. [Aside and angrily.] The base perfidious creature ! Mor. [Taking up his hat.] Whither shall I conduct Madame. Aj7ie. Anywhere! anywhere! to your own house. ^ Mor. My own house ! and what will my wife say ! ^ey are going off, when the Colonel comes out of the cabinet, a letter in Ms hand. Col. [Coldly] Allow me, sir. 3Ior. [Aside] The devil take him ! [Aloud.] I am very sorry, but we 9irusf go. j\Iy wife has changed her mind. Col. [Coldly] Oh, I understand all about that. Be good enough to read this note, which I have just received. 3for. What do I see — an anonymous letter. My name. [Aside.] It tells the whole story of Madame Florentine. CoL It's very base I know — the pitiful revenge of some servant, 29 AMERICANS 15 PARtS. who has been tm-«ea off, or of some lover who has been snubbed, bat the fact remains. Mor. Sir? ^^onf Tiprp to nif^ht with Ma Col. Yes sir. You had an engaffeme^t here to n ^^^ ^^^ dame Florentine. [Boies to Amelia.] I ^^ow now y BO much agitated -hen .he ooked upon my fa^^^^^ Florentine. Mnr Sir YOU are deceived, inis is :r/ct -^'-iciu , S Thek will Madame oblige me by removmg her mas^. jMo'r. You have no right to request it ! Col. Then I address myself to you, sir. Mor. Just as you please. Enter Lucenay, c. CoL AndM. L"««™='?-h7J'"jfJt'f3tJ-fam2principaI here. Ko^TsL^nT r? Vv^ntSh^rishia .ehm^a that .as.. it;'4hf;Ji'e o?Monsie,,r Morris oo this occ^toa is ^y «'fi.' Col ko sir, it is Madame Florentine. i::^.\ 1° rieitl^ertL^one nor the other, but my .ife, sir's, a, I ' have said. , Luce, and Col And as we deny. Mor. Dery! Sfl' I in'i^ready, sir, to support my denial. nj And I nray. choose between us. V T vAn't choo'^e I will fight both at once, if you like. jJor. 1 won t choo^^e^l ^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^'^.^^'^^A^e Luce. [roAMEio'This^Jiingsliall not end here, Madame. [Amk- ^^^FTS^^mS, t J;^:;(l^!^ ^- io Ajjn.] Good heavens 1 luce \ Boies io Morris] Sir, I beg your pardon. CdlB^^lg to Morris.] When one is in the wrong- Luce. The duty of a gentleman- Co?. Is to recognise his fault. LAice And to repair it at once. CJ. And in the fullest manner. j5o//i. Pray sir, accept our ample.st apologies. Mor. [Amazed.] What does it a mean ? i^o//.. Let us hope the matter ^l^ '^^^.^'''I'J^^^^t you so sudden- iMor. Pray inform me gentlemen, wnat has brou^ui yvu ly to your senses ? [Boidng to the lady. Both. Madame. ^ ^ LrcEXiV e.Us by mddk d.r-,U Cotox.L ,urn. lojke .ame direction and Lamovret appears from R. H. door. Lam. [ WhL^er^ to MoRRtf^.] All's right in there. Col. There ! where ! 30 AMERICANS IN PAKIS. Lam. She^s furious, and I am to take her away. Col. [To Lamouret.] You are at supper. Lam. Yes, I've won my bet! He re-enters his cabinet— the Colonel looks in after him and starts with siirpnse. Col. Ah, ha! we shall see. \Bxit l Avxe. Well now, sir, that we are alone — ' Mar. Now that we are alone and I saved by a miracle from two duels I have to say to you Madame Florentine, that am your servant and that I renounce you forever. Ame. [Repressing her satisfaction.] Can it be ? Mor. Yes', Madame, think what you like of me, and of American gallantry, lou sha^n't complain, at least of American honesty. I shall never see you again. Ame. Sir, you don't so easily get rid of me. Mor. But I tell you, Madame. I oiean to go home at once. Ame. Very well, then I'll go with you. Mor. Madame, you forget that I am a married man. I admit that I don't behave like one, but it is true, and my wife is the best of wo- men, and the loveliest. Ame. [Iro7iiralh/.] Ah ! Mor. Yes, Madame— and I love her— and I alwas have loved her— and Tve played the fool and the mule long enough, but I will try and make amends to her, for a faul. of whicb she knows nothing. Amr. But of which she she shall know everything, and from me. Mor. Merciful heaven, are you my evil genius !" Why did I ever come to Paris. A7ne. I will tell her all. Mor. [Falls o?i his knees.] I intreat— I implore you. She is not a irench woman— she does not believe all men deceivers by nature— 8he trusts me . In heaven's name, do not destroy her confidence in me now, when I am resolved to deserve it. Ame. I will tell it all ; I have told all ; she knows all ! ,, . ,. . ,, [Takes off her ma sic. Mor. Amelia ! My wife ! [He tries to rise. ^?7ie. [Freventmg him.] No, stay where yon are— where you ouqht to be.. All ! you have been guilty, very guilty. Mor. Yes, yes, I have, and I own it, and as senseless as I have Ibeen guilty. Ame. [Looks at him and smiles.] I know how you have been tempted --how you have been misled. You are not a veri/ bad creature, though after all j and I now believe you do love me, and that does Mor. Everything? Ame. Something ! ^I^^' ^^' ^^^' ^^^ ^'^^^' ™y ^^^^' ^ear wife. A7ne. Yes, your dear wife, who has saved you from— Lntcr BoTHERER, L. , does not see Amelia. Both. Morris, vou are lost ! Mor. Eh ? how so ? AMERICANS IJX PARIS. ^^ Both. I found a cab at last, get your wife into it— b2. Yeryour wife who was then in that cabinet and I have drL ven back, still leaving my hospital, to tell yo;i she knows all. Ame r Cowes /bmw<7.] And she pardons all! Both. [Amazed.] Ah ! together. Well Madame, do I no sooner get vou in the cab, than off you come again. ^ Ame. [AsUie.-] Annie is safe. He never recognised her. Both. Now you are in blue, just now you were m black. Who the deuce did I put in ray cab ? ^ ^-^^^ l- 3 e. ^7?ie. 'Tis Annie, I changed dominoes With her. , , , ^ Mor. Annie! It's all right. Ha! ha ! ha ! I can't help laughing at the doctor's amazement as be discovers her in the cab. JEnter Botherer and Annie. Both. My dear Annie, why do I find you here ? I^in^ surely did not come here to meet your broker ? [Looking at Jlorris.] I'm atraid you . are on a bender, as they say in New York. , n . Annie. My dear husband I will tell you. From a few words of Ame- lia's which I accidenlallv overheard, 1 suspected that she was going to the Opera Ball in pursuit of her husband ; and-and— feeling much alarmed for her safety. I was induced to accept Madame Giraud s in- vitation to accompanv her to the ball, where 1 was fortunate enough to find Amelia, and you, my dear husband. [They embrace. Both Well my dear Annie, I am glad you are here, here are our friends' and since virtue is triumphant, I'll put you in your carriage and be oif to the Hospital ; and as they say in New lorii. '; never go on a bender acrain." Now, then friends, since virtue is trmmphant, rU jus nutVou in your can-iage and be off to the Hospital L p w^h your coat collar for the lasttme,Ut us hope m your life. [ToU^. Morris. J And now come. Enter Lamouret. Lam Huzza! huzza! She is perfectly fascinated. I shall win mv wacrer and now my friend, the Colonel, perhaps. ^Blj'f OhX the bye, Lamouret, that reminds me I have a message \lTl trust it's not from a lady, doctor, for really-just now- Both. Oh ! bless you, do. It's from Colonel de babres. bZ'I Y^'.^IIe says you 11 thoroughly comprehend it. First, I'm to ask you what your chance is of winning your wager. T n,„ r^nital excellent — all but certain. BoA a'aoUy-Tbm. I'm to tdl you emphatically that he is wa.t.ng for you, and that his carriage is at your service. Z,„:A,k..,! uun-eh-yes-she .s-I w,sh yo^f^^Xsl^'^ i:.^..DK Sabres, l. h., crosses to R., aad e.it-Then Ucenat sanu business. Both. Now what the deuce is the matter with him 1 However, I've 32 AMEBICANS IX PARIjS. given my message, so come let us be off, we are about the only peo" pie left here, I think. Mo7\ Not exactly. Here are a few that it would be as well, per- haps, to bid farewell to. Both. Oh, by the bye, yes, to be sure. Ladies and gentlemen, have seen us safely through our several entanglements, and we respectful- ly bid you good-night. If, however, my services will, in your opin- ion, be of any avail to any of you, I shall at all times, be happy to return. xVnd, if I am not always on the spot, there are partners of mine, who have practised with me for some years, who will do the best for your case. One thing I must mention : don't send for me in cases of neuralgia or headache, because it is very clear that one of my partners understands those complaints much more thoroughly than I do. In the meantime, as the remedy for ennui and low spirits which you have so kindly taken to-night is it's composer's first mix- ture, pray allow the old practitioner to recommend the young be- ginner to your best indulgence and consideration. THE END. [Catalogue continued from second page qf e&ver.] VOL. XXV. 193 Father and Son, 194 Massaniello, 195 Sixteen String Jack, 196 Youthful Queen, 197 Skeleton Witness, 198 Inkeep'r of Abbeville 199 Miller and his Men, 200 Aladdin. VOL. XXVI. 201 Adrienne the Actress 202 IJndine, 203 Jessie Brown, 204 Asmodeus, 205 Mormons. (wine. 206 Blanche of Brandy- 207 Viola. 208 Deseret Deserted. HAMLET, in Three Acts, condensed and adapted by Waltkb Gay. Pnoe UiU ots. GUTTLE AND GULPIT. Price 12)^ cents. Plays laj^ Cents EacK- Bound Volumes, $1. SS- Plays sent by mall, and postage pre-paid, on receipt of 12^ cents each. In money or itamns. Ten piays sent by express for one dollar. »- »" PI-AYS IN FRENCH AND ENGLISH. THE ORIGINAL FRENCH COPY WITH A LITERAL ENGLISH TRANSLATION, ADAPTED FOR SGH00L3 AND PBIVATB BBADIBO. "^^OI^UMDffi I. ANGEIiO ; or, the Tyrant of Padua. A Drama in 3 Acts. . . Rv Vin^/x= wtt^^ ?gl)grA™v^?S;,„ViS^!'.°..>.^?!-. ::^^^^•.•.•.•.•.•.■.BVMi»|i|;s HORACE AND I.'tDl A. A Comedy In 1 Act. . .V.V.'.V.'.V.V." bV P Po v. ]^n SPARROW OF LYSBIA. A Comedy In 1 Act'.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.By AiSl^ Baethe? VOLXJTVEB] II. re&'^Slesrth'an Bp^cl "''"""^"^ P"'"^^^'' ^' ^ ^""^ ^ ^'^^^^ ''' «*°^1« ^'-y^' -« now Yl^j.^l^TJi^^cl'Ll^,^^^^ «°""d' ^'^ Flexible Covers. $1 each. Single e^" Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of Price. IttASSEY'S EXHIBITION RECITER, —r^ AND DRA^WING- room: EN"TKE,TAIIsnyrK3SrTS, Bemg choice Kecitations In Prose and Verse. Together with an unique Collection of Petite Comedies, Dramas and Farces-adapted for the use of Schools and FamSies BY CHARLES M A S S E Y, Profewor of Klocation u Burilngton CoUege, N. J., and Maohanies' Society School, New To*. r„^ -E, No 1 CONTAINS ~ "^2 CONTAINS nrS J ^T^^**i. "is. Ili^toncal Drama. J-? ve and Jealousy : A Tragedy. Fv.® ^'*" Mvltb. the Carpet Bag; A The Irish Tutor; A krce. iwiTi*:^ M ^ ^^ -.^ BombastesFurloso: A Burlesque Opera cJSfcDmmr* Peppers; A Silvester Daggerwood ; Coiic Inter- ^*! V^®/**?** ' ^ Pe'i'e Comedy. Sehoiol for Orators; An Original Comedy And Twelve selected Pieces. And Eighteen Selected Pieces. St^lTcenfs^'^ Number, Paper Covers, 25 cts. each. The two Numbers bound in Cloth, School fi®" Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of Price. ^- All orders will receive prompt attention. Ji^ A New Play will be pabllsbcd every week, a. FRENCH, 122 Nassau Strebt. (np staire,) N. T. K^Importmnt change In the postage lair : AD transient matter mtist be pre-paid. ifiiftiT 016 102 173 8 01 FRENCH'S MINOR DRAMA. Price 12)^ Cents each.— Botmd Volnmes $1. VOL. I. 1 The Irish Atiomej', 2 Boots at the Swan, 8 How to Pay the Rent, 4 The Loan of a Lover, 6 The Bead Shot, 6 His Last Legs, 7 The Invisible Prince, 8 The Golden Farme • "With a Portrait and Me- moir of JOHN SEFTON. VOL. V. 83. Cocknies in California 34. Who Speaks First? 35. Bomhastes Furioso, 36. Macbeth Travestie. 37. Irish Ambassador, 38. Belicate Ground, 39. The A\'eathercock, 40. All that Glitters is not Gold. "With a Portrait and Me- moir of "R". A. GOOaLL. VOL. IX. 65 Temptation. 66 Paddy Carey, 67 Two Gregories, 68 King Charming,* 69 Po-ca-hou-tas, 70 Clockmaker's Hat, 71 Married Bake, 72 Love and Murder. VOL. xni. 97 My "Wife's Mirror, 98 Life in New York, 99 Middy Ashore, 100 Crown Prince, 101 Two Queens, 102 Thumping Legacy, 103 UnfinishedGentleman 104 House Dog. VOL. XVII. 1 129 Mischief-Making, 130 A Live Woman in the 131 The Corsair, [Mines, 132 Shylock, 133 Sooiled Child, 13i Evil Eye, 135 Nothing to Nurse, 136 "Wanted a "Widow. VOL.11. 9. Pride of the Market, 10. Vsed Up, 11. The Irish Tutor, 12. The Barrack Room, 13. Luke the Laborer, 14. Beauty and the Beast, 15. St. Patrick's Kve, 16. Captain of the Watch. With a Portrait and Me- moir of Miss C. WEM- VOL. VI. 41. <^rimshaw, Bagshaw^ and Bradshaw, 42. Koiigh Diamond, 43. Bl coiner Cnstume, 44. Two ij.innycastJes, 45. Born to Good Lnck, 46. Kiss in the Dark, 47. 'Twould Puzzle a Conjuror, 48. Kill or Cure. With a Portrait and Me- moir of F. M. KENT. VOL. X. 73 Ireland and America, 74 Pretty Piece of Busi' ness, 75 Irish Broom-maker, 76 To Paris and Back for Five Pounds, 77 That Blessed Baby, 78 Our Gal, 79 Swiss Cottage, 80 Young Widow. VOL. XIV. 105 The Demon Lover, 106 Matrimony, 107 In and Out of Place, 108 I Dine with My Mo- 109 Hi-a-wa-tha, [ther, 110 Andy Blake, 111 Love in '76, [culties 112 Komauce under Diffi- VOL. XVIII. 137 Lottery Ticket, 13S Fortune's Frolic, 139 Is he .Jealous ? 140 >farried Bachelor, 141 Husband at Sight, 142 Irishman in London. 143 Animal Magnetism, 144 Highways & By- Ways VOL. ni. 17 The Secret, [Peppers 18 White Horse of the 19 The Jacobite, 20 The BotUe. 21 Box and Cox, 22 Bamboozling, 23 Widow's "Victim, 24 Robert Macaire. With a Portrait and Me- moir of Mr. F. S. CHANFRAU. VOL. Vll. 49 Box and Cox Married 50 St. Cupid [and SetUed 51 Go-to-hed Tom, 52 The Lawyers, 53 Jack Sheppard, 54 The T oodles, 55 The Mobcap, 56 Ladies Beware. With a Portrait and Me moir of SOL. SMITH. VOL. XI. 81 O'Flannigan and the 82 Irish Post, [Faries 83 My Neighbor's Wife, 84 Irish Tiger, 85 P.P., or Man & Tiger, 86 To Oblige Benson, 87 State Secrets, 88 Irish Yankee. VOL. XV. 113 One Coat for 2 Suits, 114 A Decided Case, 115 Daughter, [Minority, 116 No ; or, the Glorious 117 Coroner's Inquisition 118 Lovejn Humble Life, 119 Family Jars, 120 Personation. VOL. XIX. 145 Columbus, [Beard, 146 Harlequin Blue 147 Ladies at Home, 148 Phenomenon in a Smock Frock, 149 Comedy and Trasiedy 150 Opposite Neighbors." 151 Dutchman's Ghost. 152 Persecuted Dutchman VOL. IV. 25 Secret Service, 26 Omnibus, 27. Iritih Lion, 28. Jlaidof Croissy, 29. The Old Guard, 30. Raising the Wind, 31. Slasher and Crasher, 32. Naval Engagements. With a Portrait aud Me- moir of Miss ROSE TELBIN. VOL. vm. 57 Morning Call, 58 Popping the Question, 59 Deaf as a Post, 60 New Footman, 61 Pleasant Neighbor, 62 Paddy the Piper, 63 Brian O' Linn, 64 Irish Assurance. VOL. XII. 89 A Good Fellow, 90 Cherry and Fair Star, 91 Gale Breezely, 92 Our Jemimy, 93 Miller's Maid, 94 Awkward Arrival, 95 Crossing the Line, 96 Conjugal Lesson. VOL. XVI. 121 Children in the Wood 122 Winning a Husband, 123 Day after the Fair, 124 Make Your Wills, 125 Rendezvous, 126 My Wife's Husband, 127 Monsieur Tonson, 128 Illustrious Stranger. VOL. XX. 153 Musard Ball. 154 Great Tragic Revival PLiAYS 13Mi CE.VTS EACH— BOUND VOLUMES, $1. B^" Plays sent by mail, an.l postage paid, on receipt of 12X cents each, in money or stamps. Ten plays sent by Express for one dollar. %* All orders will receive prompt attention. A new Play published every week. BST'An Alphabetical List of 850 Plays sent by mail on receipt of a postage stamp. SAMUEIi PREBTCH, Publisher, 12*2 Nassau St., (up stairs.) See List of Stanflard Drama on second and third pages of covers.