Book..>(^46J^_ COHRIGHT DEPOSIT. othing But The Truth iAMES MONTGOMERY AMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York Nothing But The Truth A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS, BY JAMES MONTGOMERY CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that "NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH," being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and any one presenting the play without the consent of the owners or their authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Applications for the amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th St., New York. Applications for the profes- sional rights must be made to The American Play Company, 33 West 42nd St., New York. New York: SAMUEL FRENCH Publisher 28-30 West 38th Street London : SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 26 Southampton Street Strand 7 y \ Copyright, 1914 (in Novel Form), by The Bobbs-Mer- rill Company Copyright, 1914 (under the title of "Gid Ap"), by The Bobbs-Merrill Company Copyright, 1916, by Mark E. Swan Copyright, Great Britain, 1920, by Samuel French Copyright, Dominion of Canada, 1920, by Samuel French Copyright, 1920, by Samuel French All Rights Reserved Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher, con- fers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance of it may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York. Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for profit shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or who shall knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such infringement shall be deemed guilty of a mis- demeanor, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine of not less than one hundred nor more than one thousand dollars, or both, in the dis- cretion of the court. Act of March 4, 1909. 20 ©CI.C 55160 CAST OF CHARACTERS Bob Bennett B. M. Rallston Bishop Doran Clarence Van Dusen Dick Donnelly Gwen Mrs. Ralston Ethel Mabel Sabel Martha Nothing But The Truth ACT I Scene: Interior of a broker's office in one of the principal uptown New York hotels. The fur- niture is characteristic of a prosperous broker- age firm. Arch entrance leading to hotel corridor R. ist; Door in back flat r. with in- terior backing. Double windows in back flat l. c. with street drop outside; Door to private office l. I with interior backing. Chair r. half way between door r. i and desk c. Stock ticker and hat rack between door r. i and door in back flat R. Picture of George Wash- ington on back flat between door l. and tor- menter; Flat top desk c. with chairs r v l. and c. Telephone and office material on desk. Van Dusen discovered seated l. of desk l. c. t reading the stock market quotations from the paper. (Enter Ralston from Right) Ralston. Hello, Van! (Hangs up hat up r v goes to chair back of desk) Van. Hello. Ralston. Where are those two partners of mine? Van. I don't know. 5 6 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Ralston. It's pretty soft for them to have an office in an uptown hotel with three bars — cafes. It's a shame they have to spend any of their time on business. Van. Why don't you look in the bar ? Ralston. They're not in there. Van. How do you know ? Ralston. I was in there myself. Van. You left the downtown office rather early, tHdn't you? Ralston. As soon as the market closed. Van. Market close strong? Ralston. (Going up to ticker up c.) Yes. Trade was pretty dull up here, apparently. Van. Very slow. Ralston. (Coming down l. cj Except in the cafe. (Enter Bishop Doran from r. arch. Comes to r. c.) Van. (l. to Ralston, who has his back to bishop) Who is the gentleman in the uniform? Ralston. Uniform? Ah, Bishop Doran ! Come right in, Bishop. Bishop. (Comes down r. c.) I'm glad to find you in, Mr. Ralston. Ralston, (c. standing) Our services are over for the day. Bishop, (r. c.) Oh, I'm not opposed to the stock market, Mr. Ralston — that is, when it repre- sents legitimate trading. (Latter part of this speech read directly at Van, who is extreme l. by desk.) Ralston, (c.) Mr. Van Dusen, Bishop Doran. Van. (l. Removing hat) Delighted to meet you, Bishop Doran. Bishop. Mr. Van Dusen. Ralston, (c.) Anything I can do for you, Bishop? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 7 Bishop. Your daughter is the treasurer ofthe committee of which I am chairman — the committee which it to raise by subscription the money to build an addition to the Seaside Home for Children. Ralston. (Crosses to back of table c.) Yes, I know all about it. Bishop. I notice she has not approached you on the subject, and if I may make so bold I thought I would relieve her of that. You know, sometimes we don't like to ask members of our own family for money. Ralston. (Turning to Van,) I have never noticed that my family felt that way about it. Bishop. Well, I thought maybe it would be better for it to come from me. It is your intention to give us a donation, is it not? Ralston. No, sir! Bishop. Oh, pardon me, I'm sorry. Ralston. Evidently you haven't seen my daugh- ter since yesterday afternoon. Bishop. No, sir. (Ticker) Ralston. Well, then ! Last evening she tackled me for a subscription. It seems she has to raise forty-thousand dollars or more. Bishop. We shall use all of that. '(Stop ticker) Ralston. (Crosses c.) I told her that if she raised $20,000 before the end of the month I would double it ... or that I would double anything you raised above $20,000. Bishop. Most generous, I should say ! Ralston. So you can hardly expect me to con- tribute to a sum which I shall have to double as well. Bishop. Hardly. Of course, I didn't know of that. We are very gratified I assure you. Ralston. But you remember you must raise the $20,000 within five days ! ( Goes to desk) 8 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bishop. We shall do our utmost. Ralston. (Turning to Van. Sitting) I hope he fails. Bishop. I beg your pardon? Ralston. Nothing—nothing ! I believe in help- ing those who help themselves. Bishop. A wise observation. (Ticker) Ralston. You don't really have to start build- ing at once, do you ? Won't next spring do just as well? (Stop ticker) Bishop. (Crosses to rJ Oh, no, we have started, we must push right on. Thank you, Mr. Ralston, I will report your kind offer to the com- mittee. I am a poor man, but I realize what a won- derful joy must come from giving to others. (Exits right arch) Ralston. (Sits c.) I never knew a poor man that didn't believe in giving away money. Van. Maybe that's one reason why they're poor. (Crosses to r.) Dick. (Enter r. Puts hat on rack up R.j Hello. (Crosses to desk left) Van. Hello, Dick. (Van exits r.) Ralston. Mr. Donnelly, can you spare me a moment of your valuable time? Dick. Certainly, E. M., I didn't know you were here. Ralston. Well, someone has to be in the office to attend to business. ( Ralston sees the papers in Dick's hands, which consist of a check, business statement and an inventory) (Ticker) What's that stuff? Dick. Business. Ralston. What kind of business — add or sub- tract ? Dick. A little of both. ( Stop ticker) Ralston. What's that, a check? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 9 Dick. Yes. Ralston. I'll take it. (Reaches over desk and takes it away from Dick) Dick. Just a moment, it's a mistake. Ralston. How is it a mistake? Dick. It's too much. Ralston. Is that all that's the matter with it ? Dick. Yes. Ralston. It's all right then. (Puts check in pocket) What's that? Dick. It's an agreement between the hotel peo- ple and the firm in regard to the new rugs in the corridor. Ralston. What have we got to do with it? Dick. They want you to read it. Ralston. Does it cost me anything? Dick. No. Ralston. Do we make any money out of it? Dick. No. Ralston. Then show it to me on a holiday. What do you think this is, a reading room ? What's this ? (Referring to other paper) The day's sales ? (Ticker) Dick. Yes. Ralston. Why haven't you sold any of this quick silver stock? Dick. Not a request for it. Ralston. Are you going to wait until they beg you for it? (Enter Bob Bennett, up r. c. Goes to stock ticker. Dick goes up stage and drops around L. Consults the quotation sheet down stage) Bob. Hello, E. M. Ralston. What're you doing in that other room ? Why aren't you out here attending to business? Bob. I don't want to meet Van Dusen. I hate him and I don't want to meet him. io NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Ralston. (Stop ticker) (Yells) Come here, Bennett. Bor. (Going down to R. of desk) Don't yell at me like that. Whom do you think you're talking to, Dick? Dick. What? Ralston. (To Dick ) Shut up. Why haven't you fellows sold any of this quick silver stock? Bob. Fm waiting to find out what you're going to do with it. Ralston. Waiting! iWell, I'll have to keep it if you don't sell it. Bob. I mean are you going to develop it? I wouldn't sell it to any of my customers as it stands. Ralston. That's the way you feel about it. Just because you don't own any of it yourself, you won't try to sell it. I've got a hundred thousand dollars sunk in that mine and I've got to get it out. Bob. Just a moment, E. M. Just because you lost a hundred thousand dollars on a proposition and had to foreclose, that's no reason why your partners should have to peddle it out to customers who give us their confidence. Ralston. What's confidence for if you don't make capital out of it? Dick. I'd sell it if I got a bid for it. Bob. Well, I wouldn't until I knew something more about it. Ralston. You refuse to help me to get my money back? Bob. I'll help you as soon as I get a report on the property. Ralston. You know what Quick Silver is, don't you? It's a very valuable commodity. Dick. What is it used for? Bob. In this case, it was used to borrow a hun- dred thousand dollars on. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH n Ralston. (Rising) You're a smart little fel- low, aren't you? Bob. My mother thinks so. (Goes up c.) Ralston. (Going to hat rack by door r., gets hat) I'm going to get shaved. (Turns to Bob,) You don't want to buy any of it yourself, do you? Bob. No, I don't want to change my mother's opinion. Ralston. Dick? Dick. No, I can't afford it. Ralston. (Slapping hat on head) Huh ! Busi- ness is terrible. (Exits right arch) Dick. (Sitting l. on table tl.) Do you think the old man will clear himself? Bob. I don't know. Dick. Let's help him out. We can sell some of it. Bob. I will as soon as I get a report. I've made up my mind, Dick, to sell actual values, things I believe in myself. fDiCK gives Bob a sharp look) Oh, I may not make as much money as the other fellows, but I think it will be a great deal better in the end. (Ticker) Dick. The end will come quicker than you ex- pect, if you try that method in our business. Bob. (Going up to stock ticker) I'm going to try it. Dick. Just because you're in love with the old man's daughter you can't afford to oppose him. By the way, when do you think of getting mar- ried? Bob. Constantly. (Exits up center doors. Voices off stage. Voices of the following char- acters heard outside, Mrs. Ralston, Gwen, Ethel and Van Dusen in arch) Mrs. Ralston. We can't stay but a moment. Ethel. Is Dickie here? 12 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Van. Did you motor down ? (Enter Van first, Mrs. Ralston second, Gwen thrid, and Ethel fourth) (Goes c.) I found these charming ladies in the corridor. Mrs. Ralston. Hello, Dickie. (Crosses to r. c.) Dick. How do you do, Mrs. Ralston? (Mrs. Ralston crosses to l. Dick greets Gwen, then crosses to r., meets Ethel. Gwen stays c. Van crosses tq above desk) Ethel. Hello, Dickie! Dick. Hello, Ethel! Gwen. Where's Bob? Dick. He's in the stock room. ( Gwen goes up to doors c b..) Mrs. Ralston. (Seated at l. of desk l.) Dickie, did Gwen invite you down for the week end ? Dick. Why, no. Gwen. (By doors r. upper looking out) I haven't had the opportunity until now, mother, but you know you are invited, Richard. Dick. I'll be delighted to come, thank you. Ralston, (to Van who has crossed from r. to l. above table during the general greeting) And Mr. Van Dusen, can I persuade you to come with them? Van. (Above desk) I'm hot being invited sim- ply because I happen to be around, am I ? Mrs. Ralston. You know better than that. Van. I'll come anyway, and thank you. Mrs. Ralston. We have such a delightful sum- mer colony this season. Miss Clark's father has built there. Van. Oh, J. P. Clark? Mrs. Ralston. Yes. ^ Ethel. And we have Bishop Doran in the old Curtis place. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 13 Van. The Bishop? Ethel. And the Bishop has promised to take the pulpit at our little church one Sunday for Gwen's charity. Dick. That ought to draw them in. (*..) Mrs. Ralston. I don't know. Times have changed so. You can't drive people to church dur- ing" the summer. Van. Why pick on the summer? Mrs. Ralston, (l. of desk) Yes, and we've lost our music for Sunday service. Dick. That's too bad. ( rJ Mrs. Ralston, (l. of desk) Our choir boys are all caddies on the golf links. Our organist and tenor are working in a moving picture, and our soprano is up in the city singing in a cabaret. Van. They know where the money is. Ethel. But we hope that Bishop Doran's preaching will attract the people. Van. He was just here. Mrs. Ralston. (Rises) Bishop Doran ? Where did he go? Van. He might be in the ba — cafe. Ethel. Dickie, let's try to find him. (Exit arch r.; Dick. I'm thirsty anyway. (Exit arch rJ Van. (Crosses to r.) I've been thirsty for ten years. Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to c.) The Bishop is so interested in Gwen's charity. I want to tell him that he should urge all our friends to give in pro- portion to what they have. Van. (*.) I have four dollars. " I'll give him ten per cent of that. (Exits r.) Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to r. c.) It is not the amount, but the spirit in which it is given. Are you coming, dear? 14 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Gwen. (Crosses to r. c.) No, mother, I'm go- ing to wait here for Bob. Mrs. Ralston. Very well, dear. I'll join Ethel. We must pay a great deal of attention to her. Her father is so influential. (Crosses to door. Enter Bob from stock room up c. Crosses down, greets Gwen,) Bob. Gwen ! Gwen. Robert ! Oh, mother, here's Robert. Mrs. Ralston. (Who is about to make an exit R. turns) Good afternoon, Robert. Bob. How are you, Mrs. Ralston. (Shakes hands with Mrs. RalstonJ Mrs. Ralston. Gwen, tell your father we are in the cafe. (Mrs. Ralston exits r. Gwen goes to r. arch and looks off) Bob. (r.) Don't go yet, please. Gwen (Sits in chair r. of table, pOB r. of Gwenj Oh, I'm not going. I wanted to see you alone. I need your help, Bob. Bob. (r.) I'm entirely at your service. Gwen. It's very important, and you must prom- ise me that you won't say a word about it to any- one. Bob. (r.) You know that I would not repeat anything you told me in confidence. Gwen. I want you to do me a favor. It's about business and you're the only one I can trust to help me. Bob. Of course, I'll help you, Gwen; but your father is the business man here. Gwen. I consider you the smartest man in the firm. Bob. Would you mind telling your father that? Gwen. No, I'd tell him in a minute. Bob. Well? Gwen. Father and Dick must not know that I NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 15 have talked with you. They must not dream that we are going to be partners. Bob. Oh, are we going to be partners? Gwen. Yes. (Takes ten one thousand dollar bills from her handbag) Do you see these? Bob. (Putting hand to his eyes in a dazed way) Money, isn't it? Gwen. Yes, what did you think it was? Bob. Is that a thousand dollar bill ? Gwen. Ten of them. One — two — three Bob. Don't count. We're partners. Come over to my office. Don't drop any on your way over. Pardon me, partner — (Leads Gwen from chair r. cross stage to chair r. of l. of table. Bob sits chair back of table) — for not realizing at once the importance of this conversation. Now what can I do for you? Gwen. I'm so upset I don't know what I'm doing. I've had these four days. It's been in two banks, in my safety deposit vault, under my pillow, in my stock — (Catches herself on word stocking)-*— I beg your pardon, I'm awfully worried. Bob. How can you possibly worry with ten thou- sand dollars? Gwen. It's not enough. I want you to invest it for me. Bob. No, you mean you want the firm to invest it? Gwen. No, no. I told you, father and Dick must know nothing about it. I must make a lot of money quickly and I think speculation is the best way. Bob. It is — if you win. Gwen. I must win. I can't lose, for it's not my money. Bob. Not your money? Gwen. No. 16 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. Whose money is it? Gwen. Everybody's. Bob. Everybody's? Maybe they'll worry. Gwen, where did you get this money? Gwen. Well, you see I am treasurer of the com- mittee which is to raise by subscription the money for our new seaside home for children. Bob. You have $10,000. What more do you want? Isn't that enough? Why invest it? Gwen. Because father told me if I raised $20,000 before the end of the month, and that's only five days off, he'll double it. Don't you see, I can't fail now. It would be terrible to have to return this money. Bob. Well, possibly if I invest it you won't have to return it. Gwen. Yes, that's what I thought. You see, I'm not asking very much. You'll only have to double it, that's all. Bob. Yes, that's all. Just a moment, let me see if I have this right. You spoke so rapidly I don't know whether I understood you or not. Now, as I understand it, all you want me to do is double your $10,000. Gwen. Yes. Bob. Yes, you see I was right; that's what I thought you said. Gwen. And Bob, I want you to do it as quickly as possible. Bob. I'll do it right away. Gwen. (Rises) Of course, there is one terrible aspect to it. Bob. Which one is that? Gwen. Well, it's not my money, and it's not yours, and if it's lost, we'll have to replace it out of our own pockets. Bob. I knew it was something like that. Out NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 17 of our own pockets! That's a point to consider. You may not care to incur that risk. Gwen. Ah, but if you invest it there is no risk. You're too smart to lose and you must win for my sake, Bob. Bob. Let me see if Fve got this straight? If I win this money will you let me speak to your father about us? Gwen. Yes. (Looks for money) What did I do with that money? (Sees it on desk, dashes for same) You'd better take this before I lose it. Bob. Give it to me, and let me worry. That's a lot of money to carry around. I seldom do it. (Looks at money and straightens it out. Starts to put it in pocket, stops) I hate to muss it up. (Doubles money) That's one way of doubling it. J'Gwen laughs — taking step r. Bob puts money in pants pocket. Takes a few steps toward r. to see how it feels. Takes it out. Starts to put it in other pants pocket, but doesn't, then feels in his upper right vest pocket, but doesn't, then over to left the audience can get the flash of a one dollar bill against the ten thousand; then feels in the left upper vest pocket to see if he had a hole in it. As Bob has pulled out the lining of pocket, Gwen speaks) Gwen. ( r. c.) Which pocket are you going to keep it in? Bob. (c.) I think it would look well in here, don't you? (Puts money in left upper vest pocket) Gwen. (r. c.) Yes, don't get it mixed up with your money. Bob. (c.) I won't. If I ever see this with my money, I'll recognize it. (Ready Phone) Gwen. (r. c.) Now tell me, how many days will it be before I get my twenty thousand? 18 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. ( c.) I'll have to think it over. Gwen. (r. c.) Surely, by the end of the week. It must be. Bob. (c.) Well, if it must be that's the way it will be. Gwen (l. to door r.) Now call me up the very moment you get my money for me, and oh, Bob, you don't realize how happy you have made me! ("Bob starts to embrace Gwen, just as Ralston enters from r. Ralston places his hat on the hat rack at door R. up. Bob has his arms extended in the position of an embrace. They realize that Ral- ston has caught them. Gwen quietly exits right. Bob goes up to chair r. and measures it with his arms extended, saying aloud for the audience, but presumably to himself:) Bob. I think that will be large enough. (Meas- ures it then makes an exit r. with arms still ex- tended. Ralston looks after them, humors the situation and then — PHONE BELL) Ralston. (Phone bells rings. Goes to desk) Hello! Who? J.P.Carter? Put him on. Hello, Joe. What is it? Yes — yes — yes — everything is all right. I attended to that this morning. Oh, by the way, Joe, I want to explain something to you. Has my daughter Gwen been to see you? Oh, she hasn't. Now listen, Joe. She's in a charity scheme and I have agreed to double any amount they raised over $20,000. When she gets to you just explain to her that you can't donate anything at present. I don't want to get stuck on that promise of mine. Yes, do that. All right, fine! Eh! Golf! Oh, poker! Sure, I'll play all day Sunday. Good-bye. (Hangs up receiver. Enters Dick r.) Has my wife left yet? Dick. (Crosses to desk) They are just about to leave with Bishop Doran. (Extreme L.) NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 19 Ralston. (Crosses to door l. 1) Are you going to give anything" to Gwen's charity? Dick. I'm going to give seven or eight thousand dollars. Ralston. What ? Dick. Behave (Exits Ralston l. into pri- vate office l. 1. e. Enter Mabel and Sabel r. arch) Sabel. (1st to c.) This is the place, Mabel, and here's Mr. Donnelly. Mabel. (Crossing to center, to Dick l. c. front of desk. Sabel r.) Well, if it isn't little Dickie, and you were standing right here waiting for us ! Dick. How are you? Sabel. We were in the cafe. Dick. Why didn't you send for me? Mabel. Is this a stag office? Dick. Well, not exactly, but during business hours you know Sabel. (Crosses to c.) Well, we're here on business. Mabel. I'll tell you why we called. A gentle- man friend of mine gave me a hundred shares of stock and I want to sell it to you. Dick. What is it? Mabel. It's a company that going to take gold right out of the ocean. Dick. We don't handle that style of stock, Mabel. Sabel. Well, the idea! Mabel. It's perfectly good, my gentleman friend said I'd get dividends and everything. (Enter Van r., crosses to center, sees the girls, turns and starts to exit) Van. (Crosses to r.J My mistake. Mabel. Well if it isn't Old-One-Seat-on-the- Aisle ! 20 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Sabel. Hello ! Van. Mabel and Sabel. How in the world did you get here? Aren't you working? Sabel. We never work in the summer, but we tried out a vaudeville act for next season. (Sits chair r.) Dick. How long did you play? Mabel. One night. The manager said it was too refined, but I am so glad we did it. It gave us so much confidence. (Sits on desk L.J Van. You needed that. ( c.) Dick. Mabel, bring that stock in tomorrow about noon time. Mabel. Will you be here then ? Dick. Yes. Mabel. Well, as long as this is a stag office, little Mabel is going to have a cigarette. Dick. Not here, Mabel. Mabel. Well, why not? Dick. Wait until you get back into the cafe. (Crosses back of table l.J Mabel. Indeed, I wouldn't smoke in a cafe. You never can tell what the waiters will think. (Enters Ralston from left. Sees the two girls, starts to exit h.) Sabel. (Rises) Oh, there's Mr. Ralston. I've seen your picture in the papers so many times. Mabel. THE Mr. Ralston is much older than you are. Ralston. (Crosses to l. corner of desk lJ How are you all. Mabel. I do believe you are Mr. Ralston. What do you think. They tell me I can't smoke. Ralston. Who said so? You couldn't smoke? (At desk) Mabel. Richard. Ralston. You can smoke if you want to. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 21 Mabel. Fine, have you a match? Ralston. Yes. Mabel. Would you mind lighting this for me? Ralston, (l.) Delighted. Van. I love her work. (Enters Bob from r., drops down extreme r. and sees Ralston lighting Mabel's cigarette) Sabel. (r.) Here's a customer. Van. (c.) He's only a partner. (Ready Phone) Sabel. Oh, is he? Bob. (With cigar) Not Izzie, Bob. You don't mind my smoking, ladies? Mabel. No, not at all, go right ahead. Sabel. Oh, someone ought to take us back into the cafe. We left our check on the table. (Simul- taneously Bob turns and goes up r. Dick goes up c. Ralston goes to the stock board, down L.j Mabel. I want Mr. Ralston to come with us. Ralston. Sorry, but I'm too busy. Dick. Van will take you. Van. Who must be done, must be done. Sabel. What ? Van. Come along, chick. I haven't been so ex- cited in years. (Exits with Mabel r. Mabel crosses from l. to r.) Mabel. Well, I'm sorry I'll have to walk right out of your little office. I must have at least one more dance. (Business of swaying body, hums tune la da da li la da da di) Good bye, Cutie. (Exits r., blows a kiss to Ralston and exits r.) Bob. (r. as Ralston turns he meets Bob face to face) How long has this thing been going on, Cutie? Ralston. Shut up. (Crosses to desk l.) No wonder you can't sell any stock for me. Suppose they had come in here a moment ago. 22 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Dick, (l.) That's the first time they were ever here. I met them the other night at a party. Ralston. Suppose the Bishop had been here, or my wife, Gwen or Miss Clark. You know, people are selfish, they think only of that which interests themselves. Take this quick-silver stock, for in- stance. It should be handled as though it be- longed to the firm. You two boys should help me get rid of it. Bob. Do you think it's any good? Ralston. Do you think it's any good? That isn't the question. You've got to sell it for me. Dick, (l.) Mean to. I'm after it the first thing in the morning. Ralston. Well, it's high time you did. I'll begin right now to show you how it's done. (Pause) (At phone) Get me the Harbor Trust Company, Mr. Marshall. (Hangs up receiver) You've got a lot to learn. Bob. (Crosses to r. c.) Lot to learn. He doesn't know anything. (To Dick) Ralston. Yes, and you too, Bennett. Come back here, Bennett. (Bennett starts for doors up R. c.) Come here, Bennett, I want you to hear this, too. Sit down and listen to me. I'll show you how to sell stock. (Bennett drops down and sits in chair r.J Quick-silver is a very valuable com- modity. (Short Phone) Hello. Oh, Mr. Marshall. How'd you like to make some money? Well, I thought I'd ask you, you never can tell. I have a stock that is absolutely A-i, and it's a shame to sell it to the public. It's quick-silver. (Seated back of desk) It's sure to advance in a few days and you'll double your money. It's three and a half a share now. I figured your allottment at five thousand shares. All right. I'll send your certificate over at once. Don't thank me. Good-bye. (Hangs up re- NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 23 ceiver. Turns to Dick who is at l. of table) Dick, make out this certificate. Send it over to Mr. Mar- shall, and get his check. That's the way to sell it. Tell them about it. Dick. (l. sits) You're a wonder. Ralston. (In phone) Get me Mr. Hadley. (Ready phone) Bob. (Desk) Say, E. M., do you really believe in this quick-silver mine? (Crossing to r. of desk above it) Ralston. Certainly. Bob. Do you think an investment in this stock would double itself in a few days? Ralston. It's been done. Bob. (Feeling the money that Gwen has given him) Well, I've got a little money I'd like to turn over quickly. Ralston. You mean for yourself? Bob. Yes. Ralston. Keep off of this. I don't know any- thing about it, but I've got to sell it. ( Bob drops around and sits in chair r. of desk. Dick has made out the certificate and exits r. c.) (To Bob) You don't expect to find an investment that will double your money in two or three days, do you? Bob. No, but I'd like to. Ralston. We'd all like to. Bob. You told Marshall he'd double his money. (Phone bell rings) (Short Phone) Ralston. Yes, and that's what I'm going to tell Hadley. (Ralston takes receiver off phone) (Enter Dick r. c. Comes l. of desk) Hello, Mr. Hadley. How would you like to make some money? Well, I just thought I'd ask you, you never can tell. I have a stock that is absolutely A number 1, and it's a shame to sell it to the public. Bob. It's a shame to sell it to anybody. (Ral- 24 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH ston repeats the same business of covering mouth- piece) Ralston. It's quick-silver, Sulphur Bank Mine, New Mexico, three and a half a share, now. If you'll hold the line a minute, I'll let you know how much I can let you have. (Next line spoken as if Bennett was in another room) Oh, Mr. Bennett. Bennett. Yes. Well ? Ralston. Don't sell that last block of stock, I want to hold it for Mr. Hadley. (Phone Ready) Bob. All right, I'll put it right here. (Makes movement as if he's placing stock on table — ink stand) Ralston. Hello, Mr. Hadley? I can let you have eight thousand shares, that's all, Hadley. All right, I'll send you a certificate over at once. Don't thank me. Good-bye. (Hangs tip receiver) Dick, make out this certificate. Send it over to Mr. Had- ley, and get his check. Bob. Get anything else you see around the office. Ralston. Seventeen thousand five hundred and twenty-eight thousand is forty-five thousand five hundred dollars. There's no doubt but it's a great little mine. Dick. Isn't it wonderful ? E. M. is the greatest salesman in New York. Ralston. The trouble with you boys is that you wait for your customers to figure out what they want. You should figure out what they ought to want and make them want it whether they do or not. Now, I'll sell J. P. Clark. Bob. (Disgustedly) Sell it all to him and get this off our minds. ( Dick exits r.) Ralston. (Into phone) Hello, get J. P. Clark. Say that E. M. Ralston wants to talk to him. (Hangs up) If I can sell Clark, the rest is easy. The public is crazy to follow his lead. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 25 Bob. I think it is, too. ("Dick enters, crosses to l. of desk) Ralston. He should want ten thousand shares. (Two good rings on phone) Great invention, the telephone. You don't have to look a man in the eye. (Takes up phone) Hello, is this you, Mr. Clark? (Brusquely) Oh, his secretary? Well, tell Mr. Clark that E. M. Ralston called him up. IVe got a sure thing for him. Quick-silver mine — Sulphur Bank. Bargain counter price. It's a wonderful mine. (Repeat the same business of calling to Bennett, only this time much louder) Oh, Mr. Bennett. Bob. Yes. Ralston. Don't sell that last block of stock. I want to hold it for Mr. Clark. Bob. All right. I'll put it back here. Ralston. (Into phone) I didn't intend that you should hear that, but tell J. P. I'll hold it for him anyway and have him call me up the minute he comes in. Don't forget. Good-bye. (Hangs up) He's not in, but he'll buy. See what I can do in two or three minutes ? Dick. (Left of table) It's marvelous. Ralston. I've got to do it. Bob. (Rises, goes c.) Of course you can sell it if you tell people it's a wonderful mine and that the stock is sure to go up. If they believe you are telling the truth, they'll buy. Ralston. How do you know it isn't a wonder- ful mine? How do you know the price won't ad- vance? It sells well, doesn't it? Bob. Under the conditions — Yes. (Enter Van from r. Stay R.j Ralston. Hello, Van. Dick. Did you get rid of them? Van. I'm here. 26 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. How are you, Van ? I am awfully pleased to see you back. (Bob crosses to extreme r. and shakes hands. Rubs his hands together as if to wash away the handshake. He then sits in chair R.J Ralston. (Takes check out of his vest pocket, looks at it. The intent from now on in this scene is that he is going to hook Van J Good Lord! I don't know what to do with all this money. It's signed by J. P. Clark and he's going to make a world of money out of that stock. Van. (Crosses to desk. Crossing from R. to l. c. by desk) What's Clark buying now, E. M.? Ralston. (Seated back of desk) Oh, you wouldn't be interested. Van. How do you know I wouldn't? Ralston. Well, I really don't know. Van. Is it safe? Ralston. Do you think J. P. Clark would buy it if it wasn't safe ? Van. (Crossing back to center) Of course, if you figure me the kind of a customer who is not to be let in on the good things, I suppose it's all right. Ralston. Oh, I'd like to have you in, all right, but it's a promotion stock and I didn't think that you would want it. Van. I want anything that will make money, don't I? Ralston. (Rising) Do you want to make some money ? Van. Oh, no — I came here to play marbles. Ralston. (Crosses to Van J Sulphur Bank — quick-silver mine — three and a half a share. You can have two thousand shares, no more, no less. Take it or leave it. Snap judgment. Van. I'll take it. Ralston. (Stands back of desk) All right. Sit NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 27 here. (Indicating chair R. of table l. c.) Dick, make out this certificate, seven thousand dollars. Now, Van, the only way I can guarantee you this stock, is to have your check certified. (Van gives Ralston a look) This stock is a trifle oversold, and someone is going to get left. Naturally the cash transactions come first. I just mention this to you. Van. (r. of desk — Dick l. of desk. Van has been writing out his check for $7,000, finishes) I want it if it's a protection. (Rises) I bank at the hotel, it won't take me a minute. ( Crosses to right) Bob, you're a witness to this transaction. (Exits rJ Ralston. I have been trying to hook him for five years. Bob. I don't mind what you do to him. I think it would be much better to represent the stock as it is and let the customer choose for himself. Ralston. (Coming around, and sits r. of desk) I didn't misrepresent it, did I? Bob. (Crosses to c.) Yes, you did. You told me to keep off. You told Van Dusen that Clark had bought. Ralston. Well, he will buy. Do you want to bet he won't? Bob. No. Ralston. I sold Marshall and Hadley without mentioning Clark. Bob. But you told them it was a great mine. Ralston. Well, I hope it is. I've got a hundred thousand dollars tied up in it. I've got to think it's great. If I can sell a hundred and fifty thousand dollars' worth of stock I can spend fifty thousand dollars, and maybe I'll strike it. If I do, they'll win. Bob. I know, but as it stands now, the mine is no good. 28 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Ralston. If you want to know the truth, it's no good at all. The stock isn't worth the paper it's printed on. (c, rising and coming c.) But there's quick-silver in New Mexico somewhere and some- one is liable to find it. I've told many a lie I've had come true. A lie is just as good as the truth if the result is all right. Profit is the only thing in business and in our business, and profit is imagi- nation, and imagination is seldom the truth. It's what you hope for. The world doesn't believe the truth. It didn't believe there was an America for Columbus to discover. It didn't believe that Alex- ander Bell had a telephone any more than they thought Cyrus Field could lay the Atlantic cable, and those fellows were telling the truth all the time and were considered crazy. I tell you, there are certain necessary business lies. Bob. I don't believe it. Ralston. You don't believe it? Bob. No. Ralston. Do you like Van Dusen? Bob. I hate him. Ralston. Two minutes ago you shook him by the hand and told him you were glad to see him, didn't you? Bob. Yes. Ralston. You didn't mean it, did you? Bob. No. Ralston. Then that was a lie. Bob. Well, if you call a thing like that a lie, cer- tainly. He's a customer. That's business. Ralston. That's exactly what I mean. There are certain necessary business lies. Bob. Well, I don't agree with you, E. M. I think a business man can get along just as well by telling the absolute truth. (Sits r. of desk) Ralston. You mean about everything? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 29 Bob. Yes. Ralston. All the time? Bob. Yes. Ralston. Ha, ha. My boy, there's nothing the matter with you, except you're crazy. (Enters Van right with check he has had certified. Stands down r. Bob seated in chair R. of desk) You couldn't tell the truth for one day. Van. (r.) Has he been lying again ? ("Bob bus.) Ralston. (Crosses behind desk) No, I've been telling Bob that he couldn't tell the truth, the abso- lute truth, for one day and retain any friends or do any business. Van. (Crossing to center. Ralston seated back of table) I suppose if a man set out to tell the truth for a whole day that before night someone would kill him. Bob. Yes, I think I could tell the truth indefi- nitely. Dick. (Seated on l. edge of desk) Do you mean to say you could truthfully answer every ques- tion put to you, no matter what it was? Bob. I certainly do. Van. (c.) When I was nine years old, I told my mother the truth about something that hap- pened at school. What happened at home cured me. Ralston. Why, my boy, as modern society is constituted it is as impossible to live without lying as it is to do business without deception. (On the word deception, Van hands Ralston his certified check. Ralston takes the certificate which Dick has made out and placed on the right-hand side of desk so Ralston can get it easily, hands it to Van. This piece of business must be done on the word "deception" ) Van. He's right, (c, puts certificate in pocket} 30 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Ralston. It's too bad we have to admit it, but it's the truth. Dick. I agree with you. Ralston. We're brought up that way. Parents tell their children that Santa Claus comes down the chimney — in a steam-heated flat. Little Mary is told that the stork is going to bring her a baby brother. She sits for hours at the window watch- ing for it to come, and then they tell her it came in the door while she was asleep. You meet Smith on the street in the morning. You say, "I hope you slept well?" That's a lie. You don't care a damn if he never sleeps. Bob. That may be . . . but it's not the best way or the right way. Ralston. Ah ! I didn't say it was the best way or the right way, but I did say you can't get along if you persist in telling the truth to everyone. Dick. (Sits on desk l.) The truth hurts peo- ple, an attractive lie sounds infinitely better than a mere statement of truth. Ralston. Yes. The lawyer tells his client he will win. The doctor tells his patient he'll get well. Van. The minister tells his congregation they will go to heaven. It isn't the truth, but it's what they want to hear. Ralston. And every divorce gives the lie to — "Wilt thou love, honor and cherish her, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her as long as ye both shall live." Van. I will. Ralston. That's what they all say, I will. But you'd break up the whole party if you told the truth and said I think I will. (Sits) Dick. They lie in every line of business. De- partment stores misrepresent their bargain sales, NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 31 newspapers their circulation, banks their surplus, because business demands an attactive statement. Ralston. (In chair. Van c. standing) It took old Dr. Cook just one hour to convince the King of Denmark that he had discovered the North Pole, but it required two years for Lieutenant Peary to convince the Geographical Society of the same fact, and he was telling the truth. (r. c.) And when Bryan said "Good-bye, good luck, God bless you M to Wilson, do you think he was telling the truth? Bob. Well, I'm entitled to my opinion. I still think you can tell the truth. Van. Who, me? Bob. No, I know you couldn't tell the truth. I mean that I can tell the truth. ("Van goes up stage and then drops around extreme r.) Dick. For how long? Bob. If I can tell the truth for one hour, I see no reason why I couldn't tell it for one day or one year. (Van to r. of Bob,) Ralston. You don't really believe that, do you? Bob. I do. Ralston. Did you ever try it? Bob. No. Ralston. Well, I'd be willing to bet you any- thing you like that you couldn't tell the absolute truth for twenty- four hours. Bob. (r., crosses c.) I would bet you on that. Ralston, (c, rising, coming center) Well, I'll tell you how I feel about it. I'll bet you five thou- sand dollars, ten thousand, fifteen thousand — as far as you want to go. Bob. (Hand on pocket) You mean, you'll bet me money, real money, that I can't tell the truth for twenty-four hours? Ralston. Yes, sir. Bob. You will? (Smiling) p NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Ralston. (Turns l. to Dick. Van r. stage) That's what I said. (Tarns to Dick who is in front of table down l. end. Bob takes the ten thousand dollars out of his pocket after a few moments' pause, then he starts towards Ralston, who has his back to him. Then he takes a few steps; hesi- tates, undecided, then turns and walks to l. c, think- ing it over again to be sure that he's right. He turns again, and as he does, his eye falls on the picture of Washington which is hung up c. between the two windows. He slowly walks up stage, with his back to the audience, and looks at Washington with the idea that "He did it, I can." Turns, comes down stage to c. Ralston still has his back to him in conversation with Dick. Van is over extreme r. reading over the stock certificate that Ralston has sold him. No one must look at Bob or audience during this piece of business) Bob. (Comes down r. c.) Say, E. M., if you are really serious about that proposition, I'll make you a little bet that I can tell the truth for twenty- four hours. Ralston. You will? Bob. Yes. Ralston. How much will you bet? Bob. I'll bet you — (Coughs, then whispers) — : Ten thousand dollars. Ralston. How much? Bob. I'll bet you ten — (Coughs) — ten thousand dollars. Ralston. Do you mean that? Bob. Yes. Dick. Stop it — stop it. (Walks down L. two steps) Van. He's bluffing. Ralston. Where's your ten thousand dollars? Bob. I've got it. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 33 Van. (Crossing to Bob, right of him) Where? Bob. I'll get it out — I'll get it out. (Ralston goes next to Bob at c. Dick l. of Ralston^ Ralston. I see it — I see it. Dick. Ten thousand dollars. Van. It's real, isn't it ? , Ralston, (l. c.) Just a moment, now, jus? a moment. Let me get this straight so there'll be no argument. You say you'll bet ten thousand dollars that you will tell the absolute truth for twenty-four hours ? Bob. (c. Whispers) Yes. Ralston. You will tell the truth to everyone, no matter what they ask you? Bob. Yes. Ralston, (l. c. After a long pause) All right. If you want to make that kind of a bet, I'll take it. I'll bet you ten thousand dollars you can't tell the absolute truth for twenty-four hours. Dick, (l.) And I'll bet you five thousand dol- lars more. Bob. No — I just want to bet ten thousand dol- lars. Van. Wait — I've got to have some of this. (Van crosses from r. to above table l. Dick goes to left of table. Ralston l. c. Bob c.) Dick. (Turns to desk) I'm not going to be left out. Ralston. This is my bet, I want it all. Van. I was here. Ralston. I saw him first, (c.) (Pats Bob on back. Bob smiles) Dick. (l. ) I want half of it. Van. (Back of desk) Where do I come in? Ralston, (l. c. To Dick,) Well, you can have a thousand. (To Van ) You can have a thousand. I'll take eight thousand. 34 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Van. I want five thousand. Ralston. Do you want me to give up a cinch bet? (To Bob ) Would you give up part of a bet you were sure of winning? (Bob tries to speak but can't) Neither will I. ( Bob walking toward chair R. c.) You're not going, are you? Bob. No, I only want to rest. (Sits in chair R. c.) Dick. You've got to divide it between us. Van. I want a third of this. Ralston. Well, all right, are you willing to let us split it three ways? Bob. I don't care how you split it, so long as I get the ten thousand dollars. Van. So long, ten thousand, is right. Ralston. (Crosses l. to desk) You'll get the ten thousand all right. Dick, (.l) If you tell a lie when you're away from me, you must confess. Van. (c. of desk) Don't worry, he won't get very far away from me. I'm going to sleep with him. Bob. (Rises, come J c.) Well, if you gen- tlemen want to bet, stop talking — put up your money. Ralston, (r. of desk) We will. Dick, make out your check for thirty-three hundred. Make one for me for thirty-four hundred. Van, you take thirty-three hundred. Van. Right. This is the first crooked thing I've ever done. Let's get down to terms. (Starts to write in memo book) You agree to tell the unadul- terated truth for twenty- four hours? Bob. Yes. Van. (Writing) You will answer all questions truthfully ; if you refuse, you lose the bet. Bob. Yes. * • NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 35 Van. He won't live twenty-four hours. But, however Dick. And you can't run away and hide or shut yourself up where you won't see anyone. Bob. Yes. All. WHAT? Bob. No. Ralston. We'll be with him until he loses. Van. You must go on in the even tenor of your way. Ralston. Put down "even tenor" of his way, and write "tenor" with a capital T. Bob. (l. to c.) Yes, and put down this condi- tion. Ralston. What? Is it Bob. If anyone tells of the bet, or hints of it, that side loses the bet. One lose — all lose, on your side. Dick. (Rising) What's the idea of that? Bob. If you told people about it, they'd ask me a lot of questions, which they wouldn't ordi- narily. Dick. Well, I don't know that Van. I guess we can put that in. Ralston. Put it in. Let him put his picture in. (On the word "picture'* Bob turns and takes three steps up c, looking at Washington's picture) Van. (Writing) That comes under the "even tenor" clause. Ralston. He'll know more about that to-mor- row. (Crosses to Bob,) You don't want to raise it, do you? Bob. Bet more? No, that's all I waniE to bet to-day. Ralston. Yes ? Bob. I just want to bet the ten thousand dollars. ( Ralston starts for chair r. of desk) Well, 36 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH where's your money? Remember, I want cash to cover this transaction. (All start) Ralston and Dick. Cash? Van. He talks exactly as if he was going to win. Ralston. (Sits in chair r. of desk, signs his own check, gets Dick's signed check, then hands there- to Van,) Van, you take these into your bank and have them cashed and get your money at the same time. Van. Right. (Crosses stage to right, does not speak until he gets to door) Don't ask him any questions until I get back. I want to see all of this. (Exit r.) Bob. I hate him worse than ever now. Ralston. Where did you get ten thousand dol- lars to throw away in this manner ? ( Bob in a con- fused manner walks to chair r. a, and with diffi- culty gets his foot on the rung of the chair, tries to assume a careless attitude) Bob. I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going to win this bet or die in the attempt. Ralston. That's the way to feel about it. Bob. That's the way I feel about it. Absolutely confident. I'll win, and the chances are that I will never tell another lie as long as I live. Ralston. Ha! Ha! Ha! .Bob. Ha! Ha! Ha! Dick. I suppose it's all right, if you can afford to lose ten thousand dollars. It's a lot of money. If it were someone else's coin, you might take a chance. (Bob looks worried on the last line "some- one else's coin" ) Ralston. Say, you'll talk us out of a good bet if you're not careful. If he thinks he can do it, and can afford it, it's all right. He might win. It's never been done, f>ut he might. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 37 Dick. Who is going to be stakeholder? Bob. I know who'll want to be stakeholder. (Comes c.) Van Dusen, but he won't. We will put this in an envelope and put it in the hotel safe. Dick. All right, Bob. Ralston. That's satisfactory. Van. (Enters from r. with $10,000 in hand) Here's the Do-ra-me. I'll be stakeholder. Bob. No, we had a little talk about it while you were out. We decided to put it in an envelope and place it in the hotel safe. We can trust the safe and it will only be opened when the four of us are there. Is that satisfactory? (Takes money from Van. Goes up back of desk) Dick and Ralston. Yes. Van. All right. He likes to handle it. Ralston. Here, let me count it. (Bob hands him money he got from Van J Your money, I mean. Bob. Yes, and I'll count this. (Hands money from pocket) Ralston. (Counting money) There's only nine thousand here. Ralston. (Bob starts to search in his pockets quickly. Ralston counts the money again, and then says) No, it's all right, there's ten. (Bob al- most faints. Takes out his handkerchief, wipes his forehead, then his wrists) Bob. What's the trouble, E. M., can't you count? Ten there now? Ralston. Yes. Bob. We'll see. (Counts money) Eleven. (Business Ralston drums on desk) Don't drum, don't drum. (Picks up large envelope from desk. He is so nervous from fright that he can't put the money in it. Then finally turns to E. M.j who is seated right of desk, and says) 38 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Hold that open, will you ? (Puts money in envelope as E. M. holds it open for him. As he lifts the envelope to seal it, Dick reaches out) What are you grabbing at? What do you want? I'll seal it. I'll seal it. (He licks the envelope and seals it. Makes a face as he wipes mucilage with back of his hand from his mouth. Puts the envelope on the desk and sits in chair back of desk) There you are. Here's your money. Ralston, (r. of desk) Now, we all understand the conditions. All. Yes. Bob. Yes. Ralston, (r. of desk) The absolute truth for twenty-four hours. All. Yes. Bob. Yes. Ralston. It's three minutes of four. (Every man pulls out his watch) Dick. (l. of d.) It's five minutes of four. Bob. I'm two minutes of four. Van. (r.) The right time is five minutes after four. Bob. (Picking up receiver) Give me Central, please. ('Ralston casually reaches over desk to pick up document. Bob thinks he is reaching for the money in the envelope, so he picks it up and puts it closer to him, showing that he does not trust Ralston ) Will you give me the correct time? Thank you. We're all wrong. It's four o'clock. Ralston. Well, set your watches, boys. (Pause) All set? All. Yes. Ralston. It's exactly four o'clock. The bet is on. Go. (On the word "go" Ralston slaps his hand on desk. Bob in his confusion knocks over the telephone, picks it up, adjusts it, gives Ralston NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 39 a hard look, gets up from chair, wipes his face, walks up stage, and goes to open revolving window. As he does so the shade flies up — trick shade, see diagram. Gives Bob a scare. Walks down stage, speaks, and picks up a duplicate empty envelope similar to the one that he has placed the money in. Thinks the money is gone, hastily looks through en- velope over desk and then discovers the real en- velope with money in it. Sits in swivel chair back of desk. As he does so he loses his balance, chair goes back with him, his feet strike under the desk and he just saves himself from falling. When he has come back, sits with his head leaning on his hand) Bob. As I understand it the bet started to-day at four o'clock, terminates to-morrow at four. This money ■ (Business wrong envelope or ar- ticle) Van. Say, Bob, if you do tell a lie, tell a good one, because it's going to cost you ten thousand dollars. Ralston. (To Bob ) When the car comes back for me I'm going to take you out home to stay all night. Bob. All night — if it's perfectly agreeable — I mean — I can't — I don't want to go. Ralston. You've got to go. The even tenor of your way. You have never refused before. Dick. You've got to go. And if you talk in your sleep, I'll listen to every word. Van. I'll be there. Bob. Very well, I'll go, if you insist upon it. Ralston. I do. Dick. Now, what will I ask him? Ralston. One moment, please, it's my turn. (Pause, thinking) Do you think you're good look- ing? 4 o NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. (Quickly) Yes. (Humor this as it is a growing laugh) (Ready phone) Van. You lose. Bob. No, I don't lose. That's not a lie, it's an opinion. Now, if I said — (Designating Ralston ) — You were good looking — that would be a ter- rible Ralston. (Quickly) Well, we'll let it pass. (Warn) Dick. Now, it's my turn. The other day you told me that last year you made forty thousand dollars, is that the truth? Bob. No. Dick. Well, how much did you make? Bob. Well, I think that's a personal question, Dick. Dick. Never mind about it being personal. How much did you make? Bob. Twenty-two hundred dollars. Ralston. I've got one. Where did you get this ten thousand dollars? Van. Ah! Bob. (Pause) I got it. Ralston. I asked you where you got it. Bob. (Pause) I don't think I have to answer that. Dick. You most certainly do have to answer it. Van. If you refuse to answer you lose the bet. (Long pause) Ralston. Where did you get that ten thousand dollars ? Bob. (Long pause. Bob is cornered, he is just about to give up, when telephone bell rings. He grabs the phone) Hello. Who? Mr. Clark? J. P. Clark? Sulphur Bank— Quick-silver ? It's worthless, no good. Good-bye. (Hangs up re- ceiver) NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 41 Dick What did you tell that to Clark for? Ralston. I am ruined ! How dare you tell him that? Van. (Ad lib) I've been swindled. Give me back my check. Ralston. The bet is off. Why did you say that? Curtain (NOTE — The curtain must be run just as Bob, with money in his hand, raises it up in the atti- tude of taking the oath. Be sure that the audience hear the finish of the line) CALLS : 1st — Four Men. 2nd — Four Men. 3rd — Bob Bennett. ACT II Scene: Parlor in summer home of E. M. Ral- ston, Long Island. Scene: Door r. i with interior backing; French door up Right Center with porch and awning outside, landscape drop beyond; Grandfather's clock between French door and stairway (this clock must be worked from behind by property man); Platform, one step high, at foot of stairway which runs up to door at top of flat l. with balustrade; Door L. 3 with interior back- ing; Mantle and fireplace 2. Table R. with chairs. Baby grand piano l. with settee in front of same. Telephone on piano. Furnish- ings and general scheme to be characteristic of a parlor in a wealthy country home. Discovered: Mrs. Ralston seated l. of table r. Bob seated on settee l. Dick sitting on table R. up. Ethel at piano, l. u. Curtain rises after the first bar of Ethel's song, "lust a little Love!' Clock sets at 1242. Music at rise. CLOCK. Mrs. Ralston. Exquisite, my dear, beautiful! Dick. I think it's simply immense! Ethel. (Rising and coming c.) Do you really think so? Mrs. Ralston. I most assuredly do, my dear, yowr voice has improved wonderfully. 42 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 43 Ethel. Oh, I studied — and studied! Father spent — oh, I don't know how much with my teach- ers. Mrs. Ralston. It just proves what study will do. It shows what can be done. Dick. She plays so well, too. It's fortunate you can accompany yourself. Ethel. Oh, I sing much better if I have an accompanist ! Dick. Really? Ethel. Oh, yes. Dick. I think youVe got a remarkable voice. Don't you, Bob? Bob. What? (As if Bob had been thinking of something else, but it must be obvious to the au- dience that he heard the entire conversation) Dick. I say, don't you think Miss Clark has a beautiful voice? Bob. I'm not much of a judge. Mrs. Ralston. Indeed you are. (Turning to Ethel, who is still c.) He's a very good judge of music. Dick. Now tell us truthfully what you think of Miss Clark's voice. Bob. (After a moment's hesitation) I think the same as you think. Dick (Crosses to Bob ) Never mind what I think — You tell us truthfully what you think of her voice. Bob. I think it's terrible. (Ad lib — Ethel cry- ing) Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to l. of Ethel. Ethel crosses c. This is a big situation and must be held for the laugh by Dick rJ Robert! Don't cry, Ethel, please don't cry. (Rises and quickly goes to Ethel, trying to console Ethel. Ethel is crying) Ethel. (Crying) Oh, dear. 44 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Dick. (r. c.) Ethel — you don't understand — you didn't allow Bob to finish what he intended to say. He thinks it is terrible that you should waste your voice on that song. That's what he meant to say. Mrs. Ralston, (c.) Of course, we realize Robert didn't refer to Ethel's voice. Did you? (Business Bob nods yes) You complimented her voice the last time you heard her sing, Robert. (Turning to Robert, who is sitting lJ Robert's statement sounded strange and you jumped to con- clusions too quickly. Ethel, (c.) I hope so. Dick. Won't you play and sing something else for us ? Ethel. (Who has got control of herself but still must give the impression that she is about to cry any second. Nervous, embarassed and just a trifle hysterical) No, I don't think I had better. I don't feel very well to-day and I have to stop at the Rectory for mother. Mrs. Ralston. My dear Ethel, please do not cut your visit short on account of the misunderstand- ing. Dick. You are sorry if you said anything that hurt Miss Clark, aren't you, Bob? Bob. Miss Clark, you cannot dream, you cannot realize, how sorry I am if I have offended you. Please forgive me. Mrs. Ralston, (l. of c.) There, isn't that nice. (To Ethel) We never can tell how things are going to sound, but we should weigh everything carefully before we speak. (This latter part of speech read directly at Bob) Bob. I do. (Goes up l. of settee) Dick, (c.) Now we will all forget that any- thing has happened. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 45 Ethel, (c.) Oh, I'm so quick to take things to myself. Mrs. Ralston, (c.) We all do that, dear. Now everything is all right, isn't it ? Ethel, (c.) Yes. Mrs. Ralston. ( c.) And^you don't really have to go? Ethel, (c.) Oh, maybe I can stay. Dick. (Crosses up around table to r.) Of course. Mrs. Ralston, (l. c.) Robert — Miss Clark has not seen our garden this summer. Will you show her about ? Bob. (l.) Certainly, I'd be delighted. Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to r.) Put on your hat, Ethel, the sun is very hot. ( Ethel starts for the piano which is up l. stage, to get her hat. This hat must be of a peculiar shape, an extreme style, freakish) What a pretty dress, dear — turn around. ( Ethel comes back and makes one turn for Mrs. R. Ethel is now c.) Oh, it's a pretty dress — isn't it, Dick? Dick, (r.) It's stunning. Mrs. Ralston, (l. of table) Don't you think so, Robert? Bob. (Coming down L.j Yes, I am very glad it's a pretty dress. Mrs. Ralston. And men are beginning to know, it seems. A sweet, pretty dress, dear. Ethel, (c. ) I like the dress, but I can't make up my mind about this hat. (Goes up to piano and gets hat off piano. Comes back c, puts hat on) Mrs. Ralston. Why not, dear. It's adorable, isn't it, Dick? Dick. It's a beauty, ask Bob. Ethel. Very well, just a minute — rnow, then, how do you like it? Well 46 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. Turn around so I can see the front. Ethel. This is the front. How do you like it? Dick. I'll make him tell. Tell her the truth: how do you like her hat? Bob. I think it's awful. ("Dick goes up R. laugh- ing) Mrs. Ralston. Robert Bennett, have you gone crazy ? Ethel. (Crying) Oh, dear. Mrs. Ralston. (Trying to console her) My child, Ethel ! Ethel. (Starting to go upstairs with Mrs. R. consoling her) Let me go home. I want to get away from here. Mrs. Ralston. My child, hush — dear — don't cry any — come with me. (Ad. lib.) Ethel. I'm sorry I came. (Exit with Mrs. Ral- ston upstairs L.) Bob. (Crosses to c, meets Dick J I've got a good mind to kill you. Dick. (r. c.) Is that so. Now, listen, I'll make you tell a lie if it's the last thing I do. Bob. It will be the last thing you do. (Crosses w Dick. (Follows Bob up) You'll be thrown out of the house for insulting Miss Clark. Her mother is the leader of the summer colony here. Bob. I don't think it's a fair way to win the bet. Gwen. (Enters from stairway l. u. e.) Please, I want to speak to Bob alone a moment. Dick. (Crossing from r. c. up to c. door) Cer- tainly ! Remember — Bob — remember ! (Dick exits) Gwen. (To R. c.) Mother says you insulted Ethel. I can't believe it, did you? Bob. (l. c.) Twice. Gwen. But why? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 47 Bob. I had to. Gwen. Had to? Bob. Yes, I had to tell the truth. Gwen. But there's no reason for hurting peo- ple's feelings, whether it is the truth of not. There are such things as white lies. Bob. I know, hut they are not in the conditions. Gwen. Conditions ? What do you mean by con- ditions ? Bob. I mean there is no such thing as conditional truths. The truth is the truth. (Crosses to R., makes face) Gwen. (c, coming to Bob's r.J But there are some truths that we cannot tell without getting ourselves into a lot of trouble, didn't you know that? Bob. I know it now. Gwen. Bob, why didn't you go in to business to-day ? Bob. Your father asked me to stay down here. Gwen. And Dick? Bob. He wanted Dick to remain also. Gwen. Is it a holiday? Bob. (r.) Not for me. Gwen. Then why are you here? Bob. Because your father thought it would be safer. Gwen. Safer ? There's something strange about you. Bob. I know it, I know it. Gwen. I've never noticed it before. Bob. You see, it's been a terrible day for me. And a horrible night, too. I didn't sleep a wink all night. Gwen. Weren't you tired? Bob. Yes, I was very tired. But your father 4$ NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH and Dick and Van Dusen kept me awake all night asking me questions. Gwen. (c.) About business? Bob. (r.) About everything. Gwen. Is there anything wrong with the firm? Bob.. There's a lot of things wrong with two of this firm. I'm all right, though. Gwen. Are you worried about business? Bob. No, it's not exactly business. Gwen. I didn't intend to ask you about my ten thousand dollars, but Bob. Then don't, please don't. Gwen. But I think you should be in the city watching it. When did you see it last? (Enters Dick from r. arch, walks over to table r. c. Gets newspaper) Dick. Pardon me. (Dick gives Bob a smile as if to indicate that he is watching every moment and exits through arch c.) Gwen. When did you see my money last? (Crosses to c.) Bob. (To her) Yesterday. Gwen. Where was that? Bob. (Looking around to see that Dick is not in sight) In the office. Gwen. What did you do with it ? Bob. I put it in an envelope. Gwen. What did you do with the envelope? Bob. (Go through business as if licking envelope) I sealed it up. Gwen. Then you didn't invest it? Bob. Yes, yes, I invested it. Gwen. Have you won ? Bob. No. Gwen. You haven't lost, have you? Bob. Not yet. Gwen. Not yet? Bob, what do you mean? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 49 Bob. No, no, I haven't lost it, Gwen. I haven't lost it. Gwen. Oh, how you frightened me. (Enter Dick from r. arch with paper; puts it down on table again, starts to go off. Bob watching him) Bob. Anything I can do for you? Dick. No. Bob. There's something I'd like to do to you. ( Dick exits, smiling, through r. arch) Gwen. You're not sure that you will win as you were. Bob. (Crossing from l. to l. c.) Yes I am — I'll win — I'll win for your sake. (Crosses to c L.J Gwen. Can you imagine what a dreadful thing it would be if we lost ten thousand dollars? Bob. Certainly. But don't you worry, Gwen, you'll know all about it at four o'clock. Gwen. (r. by table) But I thought the market closed at three. Bob. This one is going to stay open until four. (Goes up stage) Gwen. Bob, as soon as we get the money, I'll give it right back to you and let you double it again. Bob. No, you won't. (Goes l. in front of settee) Gwen. Do you mean that this was an excep- tional opportunity. Bob. Very; in fact, I don't think it will ever happen again. It won't in my life, I know. Gwen. We must be grateful that this oppor- tunity has come to us at all. Bob. Yes. Gwen. Bob, please try and not tell people things which will hurt their feelings. Bob. Gwen, after to-day, I'll never tell the truth to anyone. Gwen. Yes — I want you always to tell the truth to me about everything. 50 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH BoB. (Hesitatingly) Well, you might not like to hear it. Gwen. Yes, I would. Bob, I insist that you tell me the truth about myself. Bob. (c. lJ Well, if you insist — (Pause) — Gwen, I think you are the loveliest, the sweetest and the most wonderful girl in the world, and I love you more than anything else, and I want you to be my wife. Gwen. Oh! (Goes into his arms, kiss) Bob. (As he takes Gwen in his arms, after a moment he looks around at the clock, still holding Gwen in his arms) Oh, if we could only stay like this till four o'clock. Gwen. Bob, did you ever love anyone else? (Bob drops his arms from around Gwen in agony and takes a step away from her down left) Did you? Bob. (Pause) Yes. Gwen. Whom? (Steps back a step or two to c.) Bob. Maude Adams. Gwen. Everybody loves Maude Adams, but you know what I mean. Did you ever love anyone else ? You must tell me the truth. Did you ever love anyone else? Bob. Yes. Gwen. But you told me you never had. Bob. I know I did. Gwen. Who was she? Bob. A lady in a circus. Gwen. In a circus ? What did she do in a cir- cus? Bob. She was a cannon ball tosser. Gwen. Where is she now? Bob. I don't know. . * Gwen. What became of her? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 51 Bob. She married the lion tamer. Gwen. (Pause) Well, I'm glad you confessed to me. I'm glad you told me the truth. Bob. So am I. Gwen. We won't refer to this again. Let's for- get and forgive. Bob. Gwen, let's don't talk much. Gwen. (Goes to Bob, they kiss. Bob looks back at the clock again) But, Bob — ('Bob drops his arms again with an agony on his face for fear of the question) — You never kissed anyone else, did you? (Pause) Did you? Bob. Yes. Gwen. Whom? Bob. The cannon ball tosser. Gwen. Why didn't you tell me this before? Bob. I didn't have to. Gwen. Didn't have to? Bob. Now, listen. Gwen, you said you wouldn't refer to this again, why don't you forget and for- give. (Clock hands at 3 to 1) Gwen. I will, but you can't blame me for being a little — a little — (Going to Bob) — Bob! Will you always be true to me? Bob. I — think I will. (Clock hands at 2 to 1) Gwen. You think you will ? Bob. No. Gwen. Bob ! Bob. Yes. Gwen. What do you mean? Bob. Gwen, I'm so rattled, I don't know what I mean. (NOTE — From the line "I think I will" the lines to this point mean nothing, as the audience are laughing. However, the action must carry words over. Mrs. Ralston does not enter until the laugh is dying out. She comes on from stairway l. v.) 52 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Mrs. Ralston. I left Ethel on my bed crying her eyes out. A rude guest bespeaks a rude host. I am not at all certain that she will forgive me. Your conduct is unpardonable. It demands a full explanation. Her folks are the richest people in our summer colony, and you insult the daughter in my house. Bob. Honestly, Mrs. Ralston, what do you think of Ethel's voice? Mrs. Ralston. I think it's terrible myself. But you can't tell people such things. Bob. I'm sorry, but I had to tell the truth. Mrs. Ralston. I should think you did have to. And what you said to the cook about the fish — now, she's gone. (Clock at one and a half) (Crosses down r. which will feed the laugh here, then returns c.) One would think someone was standing over you with a whip saying, "Tell the truth and insult her." Do you imagine people like to hear the truth about themselves or their hats — or dresses, unless it happens to be pleasant? Bob. I thought I could do it. Mrs. Ralston. You can't do it in my house, young gentleman. That is certain. It will take many a lie to undo the wrong you have done by telling the truth. I hope you will not think I am rude, when I tell you I wish you had not come here. Bob. I didn't want to come here. Mrs. Ralston. What? Bob. I beg your pardon. Mrs ; Ralston. I should think you would. (Crossing from r. c.) Bob. Please excuse me. Mrs. Ralston. That will be easier for us than you imagine. Come, Gwen. (Gwen following mother) NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 53 Gwen. Please be careful, Bob. Bob. You bet I will. (Count seven then — clock strikes one) (Exit Mrs. Ralston and Gwen l. 2) ('Bob walks up to foot of stairs with his back to the clock. It strikes one, which frightens him, coming unexpectedly. Drops down to bench l., sits down looking at clock) A second slow. (Rises, slowly walks towards the r. 2 arch. As he is near the arch the maid enters, leaving her u. c. and Bob R.C.J Maid. (Enters c. arch) Mr. Van Dusen. Bob. Martha. Martha. Yes, sir. (Enter Dick r. 2, quietly comes behind Bob, who has back to him) Bob. Is there a safe place in the house whei^ one can hide? Martha. Hide, sir? Bob. Yes — for instance, if I didn't care to see Mr. Van Dusen. Dick. Do you want to hide? Bob. (Turns and sees Dick for the first time) Yes, but I'm not going to. Martha. Shall I show Mr. Van Dusen in? (Maid exits c. Bob slowly starts to walk down L. Dick following him closely, as they get about L. C Bob turns, very much annoyed) Bob. You're making me awfully nervous. Dick. You have just three hours more. Bob. I know it. Dick. Will you give in? Bob. No. Dick. (Crossing to rJ Do you expect me to lose my share of ten thousand dollars? (Enter Van Dusen c. with automobile coat on) Bob. I'd love to. Dick. (To Van; Did you see E. M.? (Bob sits on settee l.) 54 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Van. (c.) No one can see him. He is rushing around like a wild man. Hadley and Marshall can- celled their orders. I'm the only one he swindled because I was fool enough to give him a certified check. E. M. has got to return my money, or find me a customer for my 2,000 shares. Has he told the absolute truth all day? Dick, (r., coming to r. c.) Has he told the truth? We were out in the car with Gwen this morning. I was driving. We were pinched a mile below here and I had just talked the motor cycle cop out of it when he turned to Bob and asked him how fast we were going, and he said "Forty- five miles." (Bob gives Dick the laugh. Dick crosses back to right) Van. He must need the money. While I was waiting about the hotel for E. M. I met your two lady friends. (Crosses to table r v sits l. of it) Dick. Not Mabel and Sabel. ("Van grunts, r. of table) They weren't looking for me, were they? Van. (Sits) They were. They said you had promised to meet them and give them a dip. Dick. Great Scott! I forgot all about them. Van. I squared it for you. I told them that you were down here at your country home. Dick. At my country home? Van. Bad business, having girls of that calibre draped around the office, Dick. Dick. They wouldn't have stayed a minute if E. M. hadn't insisted upon lighting Mabel's cigar- ette for her. ("Mrs. Ralston enters on the line "draped around the office!' Comes on front L. Goes back of bench, starts to go upstairs; she reaches the first small landing when she overhears the word "E. M." and then listens to the rest of the speech. Comes down, puts her work-basket on the piano and drops c. The moment she speaks, NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 55 the men realize that she has overheard them. Van slowly rises out of his chair. Dick stands petri- fied. Bob, who is seated on the settee, edges over very quietly and rises to make a sneak-away, as he realizes he must tell the truth if called upon) Mrs. Ralston, (c.) Mabel — cigarette? Did I understand you to say my husband lit a cigarette for some woman in his office ? ("Bob had gotten up by this time and is tiptoeing up stage L. for the arch) Van. We weren't talking about your husband. Mrs. Ralston. I heard Dick say E. M. Van. You must be mistaken. He was speaking of a man named Emond. Emond. Mrs. Ralston. Dick, didn't you say E. M.? Dick. No, Emond. (By this time Bob had just reached the curtain on the arch and is about to get out) Mrs. Ralston. Robert ! (Robert staggers back into the room) Was Dick speaking of my hus- band? Bob. Yes. (Exits l. 2. On the line "was Dick speaking of my husband" Mrs. Ralston has her back to Van and Dick, and they are frantically waving to Bob to say "no" and get out, when Bob says "yes" he exits with one hand to his forehead and the other holding the back of his head) Mrs. Ralston. (Goes r., turning to Dick and Van ) Now, what have you to say? Van. Emond's my story and I'm going to stick to it. Mrs. Ralston. A pretty state of affairs, Dick! Who is Mabel? Dick. Mab—Mab— Mabel ? Mrs. Ralston. Yes, Mabel. Dick. I don't know, # 56 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Mrs. Ralston. Mr. Van Dusen, who is this Mabel? Van. Mabel? Mrs. Ralston. Yes. Van. Mabel? Mrs. Ralston, fc. Very emphatically) Yes. Van. Mabel is a customer — a customer at the office. Mrs. Ralston. Indeed! Mabel is a customer and my husband lights cigarettes for her in the office. What is her last name? Van. I don't know. Mrs. Ralston. Van, it is too late for you to shield my husband. Dick. Mrs. Ralston, you're mistaken. The en- tire incident was so trivial, so unexpected Mrs. Ralston. Most unexpected, I assure you. (Turns to speak to Robert, finds that he has gone) Do you know the young lady who smokes cigar- ettes ? Dick. I hope not. Mrs. Ralston. What? Dick. (Quickly) I think not. Mrs. Ralston. Well, rest assured, I will make her acquaintance. Maid. (Up R. c.) Bishop Doran. He wishes to see Mrs. Ralston. Van. Let's get out of here. We are just going, Mrs. Ralston. Mrs. Ralston. (Going up stage, then crossing toR.) Just a moment. (To Maid ) Tell my daugh- ter Bishop Doran is here. Maid. Yes, ma'am. (Exits l. 2 c. stairs) Mrs. Ralston. Richard! Dick. Yes, Mrs. Ralston. Mrs. Ralston. This way, Mr. Van Dusen. Van. After you, Mrs. Ralston. ("Mrs. Ralston NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 57 exits R. following Dick.) It looks like the third degree. (Crossing to the extreme right, about to exit) (Enter Bishop c.) Bishop. How do you do, Mr. — Mr. Van. Good-bye. (Exits r. c. Bishop comes c. Enters Gwen down stairs l.J Gwen. Good afternoon, Bishop. Bishop. Good afternoon, my dear. I came over to talk with you about your charity. Your father's offer to duplicate any amount we raise has greatly impressed me. For the next four days I shall de- vote all of my time to it. Gwen. Thank you, Bishop. Bishop. Do you think your father won't object? Gwen. It was his own proposition. Bishop. Now, tell me the names of those you have not approached. Gwen. There's a Mr. Marshall — Mr. Carter. Bishop. Yes, I know him. (Enter Van from going to c. arch) Gwen. And Van. I beg your pardon. Bishop. Mr. Van. (r. 2) Van Dusen. Bishop. Oh, yes, I remember you perfectly. Gwen. Have you seen Bob, Mr. Van Dusen? Van. He was here just before the — he went out somewhere. Gwen. Will you remain until father comes home, Bishop? I want to find Bob. Will you chat here with Mr. Van Dusen? ("Van drops down to L. of table R. and sits) Bishop. Yes, yes, run along, my dear, if you wish. Gwen. (Aside to the Bishop) Have you asked Mr. Van Dusen? Bishop. No, not yet. 58 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Gwen. Well, there he is. Bishop. Don't worry, I'll get some money from him. fGwEN exits c. arch to L.) Van. Are you having a pleasant summer on the Island, Bishop? Bishop. Oh, yes. Can I induce you to con- tribute to our Seaside Home for Children? Van. I haven't any children. Not now — later. Bishop. What, what? Van. I'll give you a donation later, Bishop. Later. Bishop. Thank you. Van. Just now I am pressed for cash. The market, you know. Bishop. Oh, yes, the stock market. I doubt if I could stand the strain of that life. The risk one must take. (Crosses to l.J Van. There's no risk at all. Bishop. (Crosses to c.) No risk? Not in speculation ? Van. My dear Bishop — (Rises) — There is no surer way to make money than to buy some stock which is just about to go up. Bishop. That sounds plausible. ('Van sees that the Bishop is nibbling and remembers the phoney stock that Ralston has passed on to him in Act I, and conceives the idea that he might sell it to the Bishop,) Van. Buy — it — when it's low, — hold it a day, sell it, and double your money. Bishop. Double it? Van. Or triple it. Bishop. (Wiping his face, with handkerchief) It's a bit hottish, isn't it? Van. Warmer ! Bishop, let's take a walk around the gardens. I've got a great idea, I'll explain this stock to you more thoroughly, (Takes Bishop by NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 59 arm and leads him out center arch) There are certain stocks that go up. Now it just happens, Bishop, that I have a stock which is very rare. (This last line carries them off. Exit c. to r. ) (As Van is leading the Bishop off c. Dick enters r. and Bob l. They must see Van with the Bishop ) Dick. Where is Van taking the Bishop? Bob. How do I know? Third degree over? (Maid enters from arch c.) Dick. Yes. Everything will he all right if we can only keep you out of it. (Maid hands card on silver salver to Dick) Where are they? Maid, (c.) On the veranda, sir. Dick. Don't let them in. I'll be out in a minute. Bob. Who is it? Dick. Mabel and Sabel. What will we do? Bob. What will we do? What will you do? They didn't come to see me. Dick. Bob, tell them I'm not here. Say I've gone to the city. Bob. Tell a lie? — (Crosses to r. of table r.J — I will not. Dick. I won't count this one. Bob. Yes, you would. Dick. I'm afraid to meet them. (Enter Mabel and Sabel from c.) Mabel. What's the idea of keeping us waiting? (To c. r. of DickJ Dick. (c. between the girls) Hello. Sabel. (l. c.) Van told us you'd be at your country home. I hope it's all right to call. Mabel. It's just as proper as for him to break his word to us. Dick. How did you get down here? Sabel. In a taxi. Mabel. Isn't this Dick's country home? Bob. No. 60 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Mabel. Whose home is it? Bob. Mr. Ralston's. Mabel. For heaven's sake, can't any of you men tell the truth? Bob. (Sits r. of table) I can, Mabel. Yes. Mabel. I wouldn't bet a nickel on it. Bob. I think I overplayed it a little myself. Dick. Where's your taxi, Mabel? Mabel. Are you trying to get rid of us? (En- ters Mrs. Ralston from r. 2. Drops down extreme R. She looks at Bob, does not see two girls) Mrs. Ralston, (r.) Is everyone comfortable? Bob. No. (Rises and goes up r. 2 arch) Mrs. Ralston. (Sees the girls for the first time) Oh, I didn't know we had company. Dick. The Misses Jackson — Mrs. Ralston. Mrs. Ralston. Charmed. Mabel. (Assuming a dignified attitude) Mrs. Ralston. We stopped in to see Mr. Donnelly — we were passing Mrs. Ralston. I'm so pleased that you did. (Pause) Sabel. (Very nervously) Don't you think we had better go, Mabel? (Up to c.) Mrs. Ralston. (To herself) Mabel! (Girls start to go up c. Mabel c. Sabel l. c. Bob fol- lows) Please wait. (Girls at c. arch) Robert, is that the Mabel ? Bob. (Crosses down with terrible effort) Yes. Dick. (Trying to relieve the situation and get the girls away) I'll show the young ladies around the place. Mrs. Ralston. No, I'll show the young ladies around. Will you come, Miss Mabel? The gar- den is lovely now. (Goes to the young ladies, be- tween them, and leads them off c. arch) So, you came to see Mr. Donnelly? (Exits c. to r.) (As NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 6i ladies exit, Van passes them in full view of the audience. This is important) Van. (To l. of them) How did they get in? Dick. It's all your fault. They came down in a taxi. Bob. You'd better get them away from here. Dick. I will. I suppose Van will have to take them all the way back to the city. Van. I will not. Bob. (To c.) IVe got a better scheme, then. You stay here. I can drive them back to the city, and return here by four o'clock. Dick. No you can't. You'll stay here where I can watch you. Let Van do it. Van. All right, shoot them around to the back gate. I'll send the taxi. (Van crosses to lJ (En- ter Ralston l. c. Auto coat on, highly ex- cited) Ralston. Oh, what a day. (Watches Bob's eye and slowly starts down stage towards him as if he might do him bodily harm. Bob backs away two or three steps finding himself in front of the settee) Do you know what has happened ? I have lost over fifty thousand dollars. That man Clark has told everyone on the Street that I tried to swindle him. If my wife ever hears of that! I'd give twenty thousand dollars if you had not said what you did over the phone. You'll have to square this. Bob. I had to tell the truth. Ralston. (Pause) Is that so? Has he told a lie yet? Van and Dick. (Disgustedly to r.) No. Ralston, (r. c.) He hasn't, eh? Well, I'll make him. (Removes his ulster, but keeps it in his hand for business to follow) Tell us what you told me about Dick in the cafe two days ago. Dick. Yes, and tell me the truth now. 62 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. (c.) I said if you knew twice as much as you do now, you'd be half-witted. Dick. Is that so? Just tell us what you said about Van. Bob. I said he was a little less, just a little, than the inside of a doughnut. I said if he'd close one eye, he'd look like a needle. Van. (l.) What do you think of E. M.? Bob. I think he's a great, big, overgrown, self- conceited, arrogant, four-flushing walrus. Ralston. (Throwing down coat by chair R. L. of table) That's far enough. Van. What do you think of Mrs. Ralston ? Bob. I think— Mrs. R Ralston. (Quickly) No, no, I've been married twenty-five years. I'm satisfied. Bob. Do you know what I think of Mrs. Ral- ston? Ralston. What ? Bob. I think she's one of the finest women I ever met. Ralston. That's different. Bob. And I can't understand why she ever mar- died you. Ralston. (Sudden thought. Picks up coat) I've been wanting to get a line on you for a long time and this is a good opportunity. (Pause) Did you ever — steal anything? Bob. (Pause) Yes. (All business) Dick. What did you steal? Bob. I stole some money. Ralston. Where did you steal it? Bob. From a bank. (Men all look at each other at this with amazement) Ralston. How much money was it? Bob. Half a dollar. Ralston. You stole half a dollar from a bank? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 63 Bob. Yes. Ralston. (Quickly to kill the laugh on half a dollar, so that the next line will go as the climax) What bank was it? Bob. My little brother's bank. ( Ralston takes one look at him, throws up his hands in digust, and with his ulster trailing the -floor walks up stage c. Comes back again for next question. Van and Dick must be intensely interested in this thing and on Bob's last reply, show utter disgust) Ralston. So you stole a half a dollar from your little brother's bank. Bob. That's all he had in there. Van. Did you ever get drunk? Bob. Yes — one night. Dick. Were you ever arrested? Bob. Yes. Van. When ? Bob. The same night. (Men repeat the same disgusted business, but Ralston does not go up stage this time) Van. (Pause) Did you ever kill anybody? Bob. No — but I think I'm going to. (Van steps back a few steps up stage l. as Bob looks threaten- ingly at him. Van back of settee) Ralston. Oh, what a terrible thing it must be to have to tell the truth. (Starts up stage and con- fronts Mabel and Sabel who enter c. Mabel on r. of Sabel. Ralston falls back aghast, drop- ping his ulster on chair l. of c. arch) What does this mean? My dear ladies. Don't you realize the impropriety of coming to my house? Mabel, (r. of Ralston c. r. c. Sabel c. Ralston l. c.) We came to see Mr. Donnelly. Ralston. Mr. Donnelly, eh? (Gives Dick a fierce look. Turns to Bob and Van only a step) Where's my wife? 64 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Sabel. We just left her. Ralston. What? Mabel, (c, crossing Sabel to c, which is only a few steps, and is now facing Ralston. Bob is by the settee in front of piano. Van on the other side of him down L. Dick over r. in front of table) Yes, she found out my name was Mabel, but who told her you lit my cigarette for me? Ralston. (Gives a quick turn and look at Bob,) Did you tell her? Bob. No. Ralston. Who did? Bob. (Pointing to Dick, who is much perturbed) He did. Dick. She overheard me talking about it. Ralston. Is that all you have to talk about? (To Mabel; What did you tell her? Mabel, (r. c.) I don't know — she told us to wait here. (Dick is extreme r. Bob l. c. Van l.; Ralston. What for? Mabel. I don't know. Ralston. (Turning to Bob J Bob, you'll have to square this. Tell my wife that Dick was lying. Tell her that he was playing a joke. Go on. Tell her. Bob. I cannot tell a lie. Ralston. (Desperate) This one won't count. Van. Oh, yes it will. Dick. (Crossing' from extreme R. to l. so that he is on the r. Ralston and Bob l. c.) We got to get rid of them. They must not meet Mrs. Ral- ston again. Van. If they go now she'll surely suspect some- thing. Ralston. Dick, that's so. (To BobJ Oh, if you could only tell a lie. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 65 Dick. Yes. Bob. I can fix the whole thing without telling a He. All. How? Bob. Mabel can lie. Get Mabel to deny every- thing. Dick. That's so. Ralston. Will you tell her what to say? Bob. Yes. Boys, after I do this, can I take a little nap? All. No. Ralston. (Pushing Bob toward c.) Go on and tell her. (Bob crosses to girls at r.) (Ral- ston follows and is standing next to Bob at r. c. Dick c. Van l. cj Bob. Mabel, Mr. Ralston wants you to do a favor for him. When you meet Mrs. Ralston tell her you came to the office to trade with Mr. Don- nelly. Ralston. And that you don't know me, and that I did not light your cigarette. Sabel. (Extreme r.) What are we going to get out of it? Mabel. We want you to give us a tip so we can make a lot of money. Ralston. You do this for me and I'll give you a tip to-morrow so that you can make a barrel of money. Bob. Why give them the tip? Why not give them the money? ("Ralston gives Bob a dig in the back) Ralston. Shut up. (As Bob is dug in the ribs by Ralston, he turns quickly from the force and almost falls over Mabel, coming face to face with her) Bob. How did you kick that high? Ralston. Mabel, Miss Jackson. 66 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. Now you tell Mrs. Ralston that you came to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly. Ralston. That you don't know me and that I did not light your cigarette. Mabel. I understand. Bob. Do you think you can remember that? Mabel. I'll try. Bob. Please repeat the speech just as you're going to tell it. Mabel. I came to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly. I don't know Mr. Ralston, and Mr. Ralston never lit a cigarette for me. Ralston. That's it. fDiCK and Van cross lJ Bob. Fine. We depend upon you to smooth everything over. Sabel. Don't worry about us. Mabel. I'll tell the taxi to wait. ("Mabel crosses quickly, goes up stage between the men. Sabel goes up stage extreme r v and both exit c.) Ralston. (Pushing Bob up stage) Don't let them get away. Tell the driver to say he is unable to start the car. Bob. I won't do anything of the sort. That's a lie. Don't worry, I saw the car — I don't think any- body can start it. (Exits c. to R v following girls) Ralston, (tj. c. Van and Dick over l.) Now, if she tells that story — (Sudden thought) — We've got him. We've got Bennett. Dick. What do you mean? Ralston. Here's where we kill two birds with one stone. After she tells that story to Mrs. Ral- ston, we'll collect from Bennett. Dick and Van. How? Ralston. Now, he hasn't spared us. Now we'll double cross him. Don't you see by telling Mabel NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 67 to lie, he has made himself an accessory before the fact? Dick. Of course he has. He is aiding and abet- ting a falsehood. Ralston. Certainly. Van. I'm satisfied. Ralston. (Crosses r. u. up c. d. up c.) There's no argument. The minute she tells that story he loses. Van. He gave us a run for our money, but he can't finish. (Van crosses r. c. with Dick fol- lowing as Mabel and Sabel enter from c.) Mabel, (c. l. 0/ Ralston ) It's all right. I told the taxi to wait. ("Mabel and Sabel drop down r. Sabel is R. of table, Mabel l. of it) (Van and Dick exit) Ralston, fu. c.) Mabel, I want you to tell that story exactly as Mr. Bennett told you. Mr. Don- nelly will settle with you to-morrow. (Exit) Sabel. (-r.) All we've ever got from them are promises. ("Mrs. Ralston enters from upstairs •l.) Here she is. (Quietly) Mabel, (r. c v crosses to chair l. of table) Act like a lady. Mrs. Ralston. Will you please be seated? Mabel. Yes, ma'am. (Sits in chair l. of table r. Sabel sits r. of table) Mrs. Ralston. (Stands c.) I want to ask a few important questions. I don't want you to tell me anything but the truth, and I do not expect you to go unrewarded for your honesty. If what you tell me is significant enough — (Mabel and Sabel exchange looks on the word "significant") — I will give you $100. Mabel. Yes, ma'am. Mrs. Ralston. ( c ) How long have you known Mr. Ralston? 68 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Mabel. (Rising) Oh, I guess we better Hadn't tell anything, Mrs. Ralston. Mrs. Ralston. If you tell me what I want to know, I will give you $200. Sabel. Two hundred dollars? Mrs. Ralston. Yes. Mabel. What do you want to know? Sabel. But when do we get the money? Mrs. Ralston. I understand. If you will ex- cuse me, I'll get the money now. (Starts to go up the steps) I'll make him pay for this. (Exits up- stairs) Sabel. Pay? ("Mabel takes off hat, hands on hips. Quickly crosses to steps and looks at them) Mabel. Well! Sabel. (Crossing back of table r.) Two hun- dred dollars, Mabel, let's get it. — (Goes R. of table) — What will you tell her? Mabel. I'm to tell her that I came to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly. Sabel. That isn't significant — make up some- thing. Mabel. I can't make up anything. Sabel. Tell her something you've read about. Oh, I know, tell her the speech you loved so much in our act. Mabel. The innocent girl? Sabel. That's significant. Didn't you hear the audience cry "-.he night you read that speech? Mabel. She wouldn't believe that. Sabel. Yes, she would. A jealous woman will believe anything. (Enters Mrs. Ralston from up- stairs with two hundred dollars in bills in her hand) Mabel. (Quickly) All right, I'll try it. Sabel. Sh ! Mrs. Ralston. (Sits) Now, then, we can pro- NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 69 ceed. Tell me everything. (Sits on piano bench. Sabel has seated herself r. of table) Mabel. Everything ! Mrs. Ralston. Yes. Mabel. I came to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly — I don't know Mr. Ralston. Mrs. Ralston. Stop. You are not telling me the truth. How long has this been going on ? Tell me what has happened. Mabel. Mrs. Ralston ! Mrs. Ralston. Well, you certainly cannot ex- pect me to give you two hundred dollars without you telling me something that is worth it. You've known my husband how long? ( Mabel turning to Sabel J Mrs. Ralston. Three months, at least three months, now admit it? Sabel. (Quietly to Mabel across table) Go on, admit it. Mabel. All right, I admit it. Mrs. Ralston. Then, why didn't you tell me the :ruth at once, you'll gain nothing by lying. I have here two hundred dollars for you, but you'll not get one penny unless you tell me exactly what I want to know. Now tell me the worst. Sabel. Tell her. Tell her. Mabel. All right. (Turns in chair and strikes a dramatic attitude) I was an innocent girl. Noth- ing but a kid. What did I know of the wicked city, and then — (Rise and come to c.) — he came. I didn't know he was married, I believed everything he told me. Mrs. Ralston. Yes, go on, go on. Mabel. One night — Oh, gawd — I'll never for- get that night — (Hands by side) — He gave me things to drink — there must have been something in it beside harmless booze. 70 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Mrs. Ralston. Yes, go on, go on. Mabel. When I came to Sabel. (Presumably crying softly to herself, but working it up for Mabel,) Don't say any more. Mabel. It was too late. (By chair) Mrs. Ralston. (Rising) How late was it? Mabel. Too late, I said. (Sinks in chair with her head on her arm across the table) Mrs. Ralston. This is dreadful. Here is your $200. Worse than I dreamed. You poor girl. (Gives money) I'll telephone my lawyers and have affidavits drawn up. Oh, the monster, the monster, the monster. (Exits weeping L.J Sabel. (Rises) She swallowed it. Mabel. (She cannot conceive that she got by with such a thing) Did she? Sabel. Sure she did. (With money that Mrs. Ralston had pushed into her hand at the finish of her story the exact line to place it is "The poor girl") Mabel. Two hundred dollars ! Don't you think we ought to return it ? Sabel. (To l.) Mabel, it was given to you. Mabel, (c.) You might have yellow fever given to you, but you wouldn't want to keep it. Sabel. We've had a very good day. We better leave this house. ( The girls start up c. and are met by Bob and Dick. Dick entering first) Mabel. I guess we had. Dick. Well? Sabel. Well, what? Dick. (Crosses back oj girls) Did you see her? Mabel. Yes, we saw her. Bob. Did you tell her what I told you ? Mabel. No. Sabel. Mabel didn't get a chance to say a thing, Bobbie, but we've got to get back to the city. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 71 Come on, Mabel. (Girls start to exit. Sabel does so c. to R.) Dick. But didn't she talk to you? Mabel. (In arch c.) No, she didn't say a word. Good-bye. (Kisses hand to boys. Exits after Sabel,) Bob. Let them go, let them go. Dick. I will not. You don't know what it means to me, we may need them. I'm going to keep them here. fDiCK exits c. to r v leaves Bob u. r. c.) (Enter Gwen and Ethel l. c. Gwen comes to l. c. by going above bench. Ethel comes l. to front of piano by dropping down extreme l. and crossing in front of settee) Gwen. Bob, Ethel is our secretary and I have told her in the strictest confidence that you are going to make a lot of money for me, but she won't repeat it. Ethel. (Still very much insulted and hurt in her attitude towards Bob,) Rest assured, I'll keep it secret. (Enter Bishof, c. from r. He has the stock certificate in his hand which Van has sold him. He is deeply interested and on entering the room is reading to himself, but aloud, the back of the certificate) Bishop. (Enters reading) For value received, I hereby sell and assign — (Coming c. Bob at r. Gwen and Ethel l. cj — Pardon me, I thought this was another room. Bob. It is — you were out there. Bishop. I mean — that is — I don't know exactly what I mean. I know so little about business. You know all about stocks, don't you? Bob. Hardly. There's no such thing as knowing all about them. Bishop. (Shows his stock certificate to BobJ But I refer to certain stocks which go up. J2 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bob. fBoB takes the certificate, looks at it, smiles) I know all about this stock, Sulphur Bank. Who gave you this? Bishop. (Taking the certificate quickly from Bob,) Gave it to me? Gave it to me? One doesn't have such things as this given to them. Bob. Do you mean to say that you paid money for that? ( Bishop staggers with his hand to his head. The two girls run and catch him. Ethel is r. of him, Gwen l. of him) Girls. Bishop ! Bishop. I — paid seven thousand dollars for it. Bob. To whom? Bishop. Mr. — Mr. Bob. Van Dusen? Bishop. (Wild-eyed) Yes! Yes! Bob. What did you give him in payment? Bishop. My check, sir, for seven thousand dol- lars. Bob. Where is your bank? Bishop. Seven thousand streets down — no — no — -I mean seven streets down. Is it worth much more than seven thousand dollars? Bob. No. Bishop. I'll let it go — profit and all — for what I paid for it — seven thousand dollars — eh? Bob. (r.) No. Bishop. (Turning to ladies) Ladies! Girls. No, thank you, Bishop. Bishop. (Turning to Bob,) Fourteen hundred pounds. Bob. No, no. Bishop. But he said it was very rare. Bob. It is very rare, it's raw. (^Bishop faints. Ethel holds him, while Gwen brings the chair from l. of arch c. down stage and they get the Bishop in it) NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 73 Ethel. Bishop — quick — he is fainting. Gwen. Water, Bob, quickly. (Bob turns and gets glass of water off table R.) Ethel. Here, here, the poor Bishop. Bishop. (Slowly drinks water,, opens his eyes) Sulphur, sulphur! (Bob takes the glass, smells the water) Bob. Sulphur? (Puts glass back on table) Bishop. (To Bob J Come nearer. Is it a good stock? Is it a good stock? Ethel. Tell him the stock is all right. Bishop. (In desperation) Tell me the truth, is it a good stock ? Bob. It's no good at all. Bishop. Ichabod, Ichabod, thy glory has de- parted! ( Bishop lets his head sink in his hands, he is in a weeping position) Gwen. Bob, you're heartless. Bishop Bishop. (Looking up) Buy it! Hold it! Sell it! It's going up! Sulphur! I preached against it all my life and I was right — it's hell — I beg your pardon, ladies. I don't know what I am saying. Bob. It's quite all right, Bishop. Bishop. (Picking up certificate which he has dropped on the floor in front of him when he fainted in the chair, looking at certificate) It's spurious. I have been swindled — (Rise) — Oh, my fourteen hundred pounds. I shall go mad. Gwen. Run to your bank. Bishop. I'll find the perfidious beggar and I'll tweek his nose. Hold him if you should chance to see him. Brimstone and sulphur — sulphur and brimstone. ( Bis hop works u. stage. After the line "I'll tweek his nose" the first time, so that he is right at the c. arch for the line "sulphur and brim- stone" ) (Exits c. to r.J Ethel. Isn't it a shame, the poor Bishop. 74 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Gwen. Now I'm getting worried about my in- vestment. Ethel, (c) I don't blame you. Last evening my father said Mr. Bennett was a very truthful man, but I think some people try to overdo a good thing. Suppose I said what I exactly thought of you. I don't care if Gwen likes you or not. I think you are very, very fresh. Gwen. Now please don't quarrel. Bob. I think she's right. Gwen. You're sorry you offended her, aren't you, Bob? Bob. Yes, I'm very sorry. Ethel. Then you didn't mean what you said about my hat? Bob. Oh, yes, I did. ("Ethel cries. Gwen con- soles her. Both girls are l. c.) (Enter Van c. arch from l v counting the money that he has gotten from the bank on the Bishop's check. He comes down extreme r. Bob is r. c.) Bob. Have you seen the Bishop? Van. I'm through with the Bishop. Gwen. He is going to do something terrible to you. (Enter Ralston followed by Dick from R. 2) Van. What for? Bob. That Sulphur Bank. Van. Sulphur Bank's a good stock. E. M. said it was. Ralston. (Dropping c. Bob l. of table r. Dick back of table r.) I'm glad you feel that way about that stock, Van. Hold it, my boy, it will be all right in a few days. Van. I'm out of it. Ralston. How out of it? Van. Just out. I sold it to the Bishop. Ralston. What? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 75 Ladies. Yes, yes. Ralston. Of course, he doesn't know it's no good. Bob. Yes, he does. He asked me and I told him. Ralston. (To Bob,) How dare you? (To Van ) Van Dusen, how dare you swindle the Bishop in my home? Van. How dare you swindle me in your office? (Van goes up stage r v then comes back immedi- ately) Ralston. (Going up c.) My wife will go mad. (Looking up stairs. Gwen crosses down to r. c. to l. of Bob. Ralston drops back to c. Ethel l. behind settee) Gwen. Surely, Mr. Van Dusen, you didn't sell this stock to the Bishop knowing it was worthless? Van. I had just as much faith in it as your father had when he sold it to me. Gwen. (Turning to father) Then you will surely make good to the Bishop? Van. I hope so. Gwen. Dad, you must make good. Ralston. Yes, yes, I'll smooth it out. All Bob's got to do is to say he was mistaken. Gwen. Yes, let's hurry and find the Bishop. Tell him you were mistaken. Bob. I can't do that. (Pause) Gwen. But I want you to do it for my sake. Bob. For your sake, I must not do it. Gwen. You're making yourself (Turns to father) — I'm getting worried about him. Ralston. Worried ? Gwen. I'm worrying Ralston. What about? Gwen. I gave Bob some money to invest for me yesterday. Ralston. How much money was it? 76 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Gwen. Ten thousand dollars. Ralston. Ten thousand dollars — yesterday. (It suddenly hits him that that's the money Bob bet with him, and that he not only has to double the charity money, but may lose the bet as well. He sinks back with a terrible groan. Gwen rushes to him and supports him) Gwen. Do you know? Ralston. Do I know? (Is about to say yes, if he does Bob wins). No, I don't know. (Enters Mrs. Ralston from l. 2, drops down extreme lJ Mrs. Ralston. You monster — you wretch! Ralston. Huh? What? (Situation. All turn and look at Mrs. RalstonJ ( Mrs. Ralston cross- ing l. c. Gwen goes to Ethel, who is at l. by settee) Mrs. Ralston. When I think of all the years you have been masquerading as a respectable citizen, you monster. Dick. (Over table to Bob. Quietly) Shall I get Mabel? Bob. Yes. (Exit Dick c. to r.) Mrs. Ralston. Three months! Think of it, three months, leading a double life with that inno- cent girl. (Ralston throws up his hands and says "oh," and goes up stage. Drops down again im- mediately) Deceiving your wife, and your daugh- ter, hiding from us the truth. You monster, to bring that girl into my home. Ralston. What girl? Mrs. Ralston. Mabel. Ralston. She came to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly. Mrs. Ralston. I don't believe you, I don't be- lieve you. Gwen. What has father done? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 77 Ralston. I haven't done anything. (Enter c. Mabel and Dick. They stay up stage c.) Mrs. Ralston. You haven't done anything? Deny this evidence, if you can. ("Ralston turns and sees the girls. Quickly goes to BobJ Ralston. Bob, make her tell that story. Bob. (Crossing to Mrs. Ralston ) Mrs. Ral- ston, if you won't believe your husband, will you believe the young lady herself? ("Mabel comes down c. Dick goes back of table R. Everyone watching this with intense interest) Mrs. Ralston. Yes. Bob. (Turns to Mabel, thinking, as do the other men, that she is going to say "I came to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly" etc.) Mabel, tell them your story. Mabel. I was an innocent girl — (Curtain) — Nothing but a kid Men. What? (A look of horror on all the men's faces) Curtain (NOTE — Ring curtain on the line "I was an inno- cent girl," but the action and the expression must be seen, so don't get too fast a curtain — medium fast) Second Curtain (NOTE — Go up immediately. Mabel is still in c. telling the story, the only line that is heard and must be spoken is "one night, Oh, Gawd, I'll never forget that night" as the curtain is well up all the men leave the stage, also Gwen and Ethel. Dick runs off r. 2. Van through c. Ralston following him. Mrs. Ralston 78 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH puts Gwen and Ethel off stage so they won't hear this story, l. 2. Bob goes to second step on the stairs and stands there and in gesture says "Shake her, shake her." This action is all fast. The curtain is not held for it) ACT III Same as Act II Bob enters from stairway door l. tj. Creeps downstairs, bumps into small table on landing; nearly knocks over vase. Business. He then reaches stage and looks at clock and watches it, then stamps his foot, peers around door. Ad- vances and looks carefully out door — comes back, sees Ralston coming r. arch. Bob hurries down stage end of arch, hides behind curtains. As Ral- ston appears, Bob swings to back of curtain. Ralston goes out on veranda, looks at watch, then exits l. 2 e. Bob appears, sees Dick coming. Bob hides behind door l. of arch c. Dick enters, looks about for Bob, takes out watch. Looks off r. arch, makes a hasty exit as if he had caught sight of Bob. Bob comes from behind door, heaves a sigh of re- lief. Looks off r v sees Van. Bob hides behind r. door of arch l. Van enters — comes slowly to c. Hears clock, looks about with suspicious air. Goes to clock, puts out hand to move hand. (Noise off stage scares him) (NOISE) He pauses; then moves hand to 29 minutes past three. Bob doesn't see Van do this business. Van exits c. Bob comes from behind door, shakes his head as if in deep distress, comes down stage to back of table r. Takes out watch, looks at it, then looks at clock. Shakes and places his watch to his ear to see if it has stopped. A knowing smile enlightens his face. He goes to clock and sets if to 3.25. He then smiles 79 80 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH and, as he looks away from clock, apparently hits his face on the door. He then sees the Bishop. Crosses over, hides on bench by stairway. Bishop. (Enter c. to r. Looks all around, sees Bob hiding) (Bob starts upstairs as Bishop sees him) Mr. Bennett, are you hiding? Bob. (Rising and coming to Bishop,) Yes. Bishop. It's refreshing to meet an honest man like you, Mr. Bennett. (Shakes hands with Ben- nett,) Bob. Thank you. Bishop. It is easier to speak the truth, don't you think so? Bob. No, and if you think it is, try it some time. Bishop. But you practice it. Bob. Yes. Bishop. I had occasion to preach on Truthful- ness in the city about a month ago. Were you there ? Bob. Yes, I was there. Bishop. Did you like my sermon? Bob. I liked the beginning of it. Bishop. Didn't you like the rest of it? Bob. I didn't hear the rest of it. Bishop. You didn't leave the church during my sermon ? Bob. No. I liked the beginning of it. Bishop. Then how is it you didn't hear the rest of it? Bob. I was asleep. Bishop. (Hesitates, then smiles) Well, well, I like your frankness. Bob. I am glad somebody does. Bishop, Oh, Mr. Bennett, what about the sul- phur bank stock? Mr. Van Dusen rushed off and cashed my check for seven thousand dollars. What shall I do? NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 81 Bob. I haven't the slightest idea. Bishop. Oh, dear, oh, dear, shall I have to lose seven thousand dollars? Can't I get any of my money back? Tell me the truth. Bob. You might get some of it back, if you ask Mr. Ralston for it. Bishop. Some of it? Bob. We get everything we ask for in this world, Bishop, if we ask for it in the right way. Bishop. Oh, you mean I've got to pray for it? Bob. No, don't pray for it, Bishop. Ask for it, and the louder you ask the more you will get, and if you yell loud enough you may get it all. Bishop. Yell ? Bob. (Crossing up stage and going up the stairs l. Stops in the middle) Yell, that's what I mean. (Starts up the steps again, stops) Yell. When I say yell I mean bull the market. (CLOCK) (Clock strikes the half hour 3.30. Bob refers to it) Isn't that beautiful. (Smiles and exits upstairs) Bishop. (At left center to himself ) Bull? Bull the market? (Sudden thought) Oh, yes, up and down, up and down. (Ralston enters l. 2. Comes around piano above it to l. c. Bishop at Ralston. My dear Bishop, how are you? Bishop. If you don't mind my saying so, I'm a bit wary. Ralston. Wary? Bishop. I've been swindled in your house. You see this? (Shows certificate. Hands it to Ral- ston ) Ralston. Yes. (Looks at certificate) Bishop. Your name is on it, sir. On the back of it, sir. On the back of it. Ralston. (Turning the certificate over) I see — I see 8>2 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bishop. I've been Simple Simoned under your roof, sir. (Enter Van from c. Bishop sees him) There is the imposter ! Hold him ! Ralston. Now, Bishop. Bishop. Hold him! Ralston. Now, my dear — (At c.) — Bishop, Mr. Van Dusen will not run away. Bishop. (Advancing several steps toward Van Dusen, being intercepted by Ralston ) Hold him! Van. (Coming r. c.) What's the trouble? Bishop. You know what's the trouble. He told me it would go up. He told me I would double and triple my money. Ralston. Oh ! That's the way the wind blows, eh? Now, Bishop, in fairness you must admit you were trying to make more money than is consistent with safety. You were trying to get something for nothing. Bishop. (Excitedly) Do you call $7,000 nothing ? Van. How do you know it is not good? Bishop. That honest gentleman, Mr. Bennett, told me so. He said it was no good at all. Van. What does he know about it ? Bishop. I believe him. Van. I'm afraid you believe the last thing you are told, Bishop. Ralston. Now, Bishop, this stock may turn out very well indeed. Bishop. Whistle that to the horse-marine, sir. Ralston. (Trying to pacify him) Now don't let us quarrel, Bishop. The best of friends have misunderstandings and are often better off for hav- ing them. Bishop. Better off? I'm seven thousand dol- lars out. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 83 Ralston. (Showing Bishop certificate) Now take this and hold it. Bishop. (Steps r v pushing it aside and crossing to c.) I'll have none of it. I want my seven thou- sand dollars — (To Van ) — Or I'll tweek your nose. Van. You'll what? Ralston. Sssh — they'll hear you. Bishop. (Loudly) I want them to hear me. Van. Hush ! Bishop. I will not hush. — (To Ralston ) — He bested me in your house. — (Loudly) — Oh, my four- teen hundred pounds. Ralston. Hush! ssh! Van. Soft pedal, Bishop, please. Ralston. Now, Bishop, let me reason with you. You speculated. You expected to win three times the amount of your investment. You can't expect to do that and run no risk. Bishop. I didn't want to run a risk. I want my money! (Goes up to steps l. and shouts) I've been robbed ! Ralston. (Leading him down stage, a few steps) Hush ! Hush ! Good heavens ; Here take this ! (Offers him the certificate — he pushes it aside, drops down c.) Bishop. No! No! He rushed off to my bank and cashed my check before I could tell him I had been swindled. Oh, oh, o — o Van. f Ralston puts his hand over the Bishop's "mouth to prevent the people from hearing him. Van quickly goes up stage, shuts the c. doors, then goes extreme r. ) Choke him ! Choke him ! Ralston. Please speak softly, Bishop. Bishop. I don't want to speak softly. Ralston. Wait! Wait! Let me speak to Mr. Van Dusen. ( Crosses R. to Van ) Have you got his money? 84 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Van. (Extreme r.) I've got it. Ralston. (Offering certificate to Van) Be a good fellow and buy it back. Van. No ! I bought it in good faith and I sold it. That's all there is to it. Bishop. Oh — dear — oh, dear — I want my seven thousand dollars. Ralston. Ssh ! Ssh ! Bishop. (Loudly) I want my seven thousand dollars. Oh — o — o — o — I've been swindled. Ralston, (c. Trying to quiet him) Wait — wait! I'm the one who always has to pay. (Takes check that Van has given him in Act One and cer- tificate in the other hand) Now, Bishop, I'll sell your stock for you. Understand? (Crosses R.J Bishop. Yes, I understand. Ralston. (Crossing to Van) Here's your cer- tified check — give me the money. (Van does so) Now, Bishop, the stock is sold. (Bishop goes to steps) Ralston. (Van gets back his certified check, Ralston puts certificate in pocket. Bishop goes up stage and looks up the stairs and off during this business) I charge five per cent for selling this class of stock — that's three hundred and fifty dol- lars. (Takes $350 from roll, puts in his pocket, and hands the Bishop the balance as he drops down l v leaving Ralston c.) There you are, Bishop, and no harm done. Bishop. Thank you, Mr. Ralston. Thank you very much, indeed. Ralston. Now I hope you're satisfied. (Cross- ing to Van) I'll set fire to his church. Van. (r.) Be sure he's in it. (Watching Bishop, who is over l. counting his money) I don't think he's going to swallow it. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 85 Bishop, (l.) I'm shori ("Van grunts) I'm short — $350 — 70 pounds. Ralston. Why, that commission, Bishop. Bishop. I know nothing about business — what is commission? Am I to lose $350? Ralston. It's business. Bishop (Loudly) I've been the victim of a monkey trick. Van. Soft! Soft! (Going up stage, then down) Bishop. I've been too soft, sir. I don't under- stand it. I wish I had never come here. (Loudly ad lib) I shall tell the best people in town. Ralston. Ssh! Please! Please! Bishop. I want three hundred and fifty dol- lars, seventy pounds. (Loudly) Van. (Going up stage quickly, looks up stair- way and then off arch r.) Give it to him ! Give it to him! Ralston. (At c.) Here it is! Here it is! Take it! (Gives him money) Take it — Phew! Good Lord! (Goes up c.) Van. (At r. c.) Say, are you Billy Sunday's understudy ? Bishop. No, sir, I'm a child in these matters. Van. I've noticed that. Bishop. I know nothing of sordid business af- fairs. Ralston, (c.) Well, at least everything is all right now, isn't it? Bishop. Yes. I suppose so. (Thinking — takes out check book) But it's my money. You had it, sir. You took it out of my bank. You had the use of it — I want my interest. Van. What? Ralston. Interest? Van. I didn't use your money. 86 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Bishop. That was not my fault. You had it. It was a risk. I must be paid for it. Van. (Emphatically) I'll pay you no interest. Bishop. (Starting to work up to a shout again) Oh, dear, you're cheating me because I know noth- ing about business. You're taking advantage of me because I've been reckless. I want Ralston. Please! Please! Ssh! (Trying to quiet him. But the Bishop continues) Bishop. (Ad. lib. Van and Ralston through this) You're trying things on me because I'm inno- cent looking. (Van opens door r. c.) I know nothing about business. (Bishop takes small pad and pencil from pocket. Crosses down to extreme L. and starts to figure) Seven thousand — six per cent one month is thirty-five dollars. (Turning to Ralston and Van ) I want my interest. Ralston. Hush ! I beg of you, Bishop. Bishop. (Yelling) I'll tell everyone, everyone. Van. (Going up stage, shuts the c. doors on arch, which he has opened as the Bishop is saying the preceding line — "You're trying things on me," etc.) Give it to him! Give it to him! (Comes down r. c.) Ralston. Here! (Takes out $35,) Here! Here's your $35. Quick! Take it! (Shoves the money into Bishop's hand) Whew ! You don't know a thing about business, do you ! Bishop. (Taking the money and counting it) No, sir! Van. He's as helpless as a lion. I'll hide this check before he gets it. (Puts check in pocket) Ralston. (Crossing to the Bishop who is lJ How much salary do you get a year, Bishop? Bishop. (Very quietly and dignified) Only Five thousand dollars, Mr. Ralston. Ralston. Well, if you should ever leave the NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 87 church, you're worth ten thousand dollars to me in my office. That's how much I think you know about business. Bishop. (Crossing in front of Ralston, up stage c, leaving Ralston r., Van r.) If you will excuse me, I'll go back to the bank. Van. (Going up r. of Bishop — Ralston l. of him) The bank is closed, Bishop. Bishop. They are going to keep it open for me, Mr. Clark requested them to. Ralston. J. P. Clark? Bishop. Yes. Van. Does Clark know you bought that stock? Bishop. Well — in strict confidence — I tried to sell it to him. Ralston. I'm ruined. (Groans and sinks on the settee) Van. You're what? Ralston. I'm ruined. What did he say to you? What did Clark say? Bishop. He told me to come up here and see Mr. Bennett. Ralston. You haven't seen Bennett? Bishop. Oh, yes, I saw Mr. Bennett, and I talked with him. Ralston. What did Bennett say? Bishop. He told me I would get my money back, if I yelled loud enough. Ralston. Oh — o — o — — (Holding his head) — Did Bennett say that? Bishop. Yes. Van. Listen, Bishop, if J. P. Clark asks you about that stock again, tell him I bought it back from you. , Ralston. With interest! Bishop. (Starting up to c. arch, stops, turns and comes back to Ralston, who is still seated on 88 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH bench) Oh, yes! I'd almost forgotten it. I be- lieve your daughter has at last her $20,000 charity money. ( Van sits l. of table) Ralston. It hasn't been settled yet. Bishop. (Starting to get loud) What? Ralston. (Quickly, trying to keep him from making another scene) I mean to say, it hasn't been settled how much I am to give. Bishop. Oh, we want all we can get. For we can use it — it's a very worthy charity. (Starts to go up a few steps to c. arch) Ralston. Don't overwork yourself. I think my daughter has raised enough for you. I don't want to give beyond my means, you know. Bishop. We will not allow your liberality to hide behind that plea. Well, well, I must be off. (Goes directly to c. arch, opens door which Van has closed, stops and comes back to Van, who is seated l. of table) Oh, yes, there's another thing, I'd almost forgotten. Van. Oh! (Mumbles to himself) Bishop. (Touching Van lightly on the shoul- der) You said you would give me a donation. Van. (Slowly turns in his chair and looks at the Bishop ) Did I? Bishop. Yes, sir! You told me at noon time you would subscribe. Van. Let it go until later. Bishop. Oh, dear, you promised. He promised he would give our committee some money. (Start- ing to cry again) ("Ralston starts to pacify him, also Van) Ralston. (Rises) Now, Bishop, please, please ! Bishop. I depended upon it, sir. You've broken your word to me. I shall tell everyone. (Bishop getting loud) NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 89 Ralston. Give it to him ! Give it to him ! Van. (Rising) Wait! Here's a hundred dol- lars for you. Bishop. Thank you, sir. (Bishop crosses up c. arch. Van at left of table r. Ralston l. c.) I trust this is genuine, sir. (Exits c. to r.J (Enter Dick from r. 3. Comes r c.J Ralston. Where have you been ? Dick. I've been looking for Bob. Van. They're of! all right. Ralston. Where's George Washington? Dick. I don't know. Ralston. Go and find him. Don't come back without him. Search everywhere. In the gardens. Drag the pond. (Starts up c.J Van. If he's in the pond, don't drag it. Drug it. (To r.) (Bob enters from arch c Comes down c.) Dick. (To l. c.) Come in here, Harold. Ralston. (Taking l.) Come on, hurry up. I want to talk to you. (Bob coming c. Ralston l. c. Van r. Dick l. c. Ralston in l. of DickJ You've ruined my business and wrecked my home. At least you'll tell my wife Mabel wasn't telling the truth. Bob. I think I can say Mabel exaggerated. Ralston. Exaggerated! You'll tell Mrs. Ral- ston I don't know Mabel at all. Bob. I won't tell a lie. Ralston. You won't, eh? Bob. No. Ralston. You'll set my wife against me, rather than lose? Bob. I'm very sorry, but I must win. Ralston. (Emphatically) All right, that settles it — it's gone far enough. The bet is called off. (340 Clock) 90 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Van. (r.) I'll call the bet off, if you'll tell the Bishop I'm on the square. (The attitude now of these men is that it is within twenty minutes of the time limit and they are trying to get out of the bet) Dick. Maybe we'd better call it even and drop it. Ralston, (l.) All right, it's cancelled. Now, will you tell my wife what I want you to ? Bob. (c. Joyously) You mean, I win? Ralston, (l.) No, no, it's just called off. (This line is spoken very quietly) Bob. (c.) Wait a minute. The bet is not called off. It's on — very much on. Do you think that after I've answered every crazy question for nearly twenty-four hours, I'm going to let you call the bet off? You don't know me. Van. Will you take a furlough? Bob. No. I won't take a furlough. Even if I knew what it was, I wouldn't take it. You all ridi- culed me when I made this bet — you thought I was crazy. You pitied me. Oh, I haven't forgotten that. You didn't think I had a chance to win, did you? Dick. (l. c.) We didn't think you'd sacrifice your friends and everything to win. Bob. You didn't hesitate to sacrifice me. Ralston. How much will you take to stop now? Bob. I won't bargain. I've too much at stake. I'm going to win this $20,000 legitimately. Ralston, (l.) I'll give you Bob. ( c. Quickly) You'll give me nothing. You have put every obstacle in my way. You've tried every trick to force me into a falsehood, I've been through the toughest experience I ever had in my life, but I'm going straight through to the finish. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 91 Ralston, (l. Pleading) Help us with Clark— with Marshall ? Bob. No. Van. The Bishop? Bob. No. Dick. Mrs. Ralston? Bob. No. Ralston. (Getting mad) You ingrate. I'll dis- solve our partnership. Bob. Very well, if it's necessary for me to lie to remain your partner, I might as well know it now. My self-respect is more important to me than your opinion. (Crosses to r. 3J Besides, I feel better — here. (Puts hand on heart) Ralston. How do you suppose I feel here? (Puts hand on heart) Bob. Empty! (Exits R. 3. Men all start r. ad. lib. till Mrs. Ralston speaks. Mrs. Ralston enters from l. u v comes down stairs) Mrs. Ralston. I thought you were here alone. If you have a few moments to spare, I would ap- preciate it. Dick. Pardon me, Mrs. Ralston. (Going up c.) Come, Van. ('Van going up to c. arch. Exit Van and Dick to r. Leaves Ralston right) Mrs. Ralston. I'm sorry to have to intrude upon you. Ralston. It's a pleasure, my dear, a pleas- ure. Mrs. Ralston. It is necessary for me to talk to you, and I trust you to he as truthful as it is possible for you to be. Ralston. Yes, my dear. Mrs. Ralston. I know some facts. I know the whom — where and when. I wish to arrive at an accurate conclusion of the what. Ralston. My dear, there is no what. I don't 92 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH know those girls : they are friends of that bounder, Dick. Mrs. Ralston. Well, prove it. Ralston. I will — ask Dick — ask Van. Mrs. Ralston. I wouldn't believe them on a stack of bibles. Ralston. Well, we haven't a stack of bibles. Why don't you ask me? Mrs. Ralston. I don't believe you have ever told the truth in your life. Ralston. (Takes his slap) Well, then, whom will we ask? Mrs. Ralston, (l. c.) Robert. (Ralston turns and looks off r. where Bob has gone. Point this, sure laugh) I still believe he knows the truth, and if Robert will tell me that you do not know those girls, I will believe him. I have implicit faith in him. He seems determined to tell the truth. Ralston, (r. c.) Yes. He got a reputation very quickly. Mrs. Ralston. But, until he tells me, I shall continue making plans to leave this house. Ralston. Oh, my dear. Mrs. Ralston. (Going up to the stairs) Un- less, of course, you intend to leave. (On first plat- form) Ralston. Now listen, my dear. Mrs. Ralston. Send Robert to me at once. (Starts to go upstairs, gets as far as the fourth step from the top landing) Ralston. Just as soon as I find him. ( Ralston crosses to r. of bottom stairs) Now, my dear, won't you please believe me ? You know, after all, I'm your husband. Mrs. Ralston. Yes, unfortunately. (Exits up- stairs) Ralston. Oh, great Scott! It's going to be a NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 93 close shave. (Points to clock. Crossing up to c. arch, calling off) Dick, Van! ("Ralston crosses to l. Van and Dick enter. Van first. Dick sits l. of table r. Van comes c.) You fellows don't mind letting me do all the worrying-. Dick. I'm worried enough, but what can we do? Van. This thing is getting down close and Fve got to protect my money. How does Mrs. Ralston feel now? Ralston, (l.) It's all up to Bennett. She says she will believe him. Van. Maybe we can make him tell her what we want him to. Dick. (In chair l. of table) You heard what he said about that. Van. There is one way to make him. Ralston. How ? Van. Make him lose the bet first — then he'll have no object in refusing. Dick. That's a bright idea. That's what we've been trying to do for the last twenty-four hours. Van. Yes, but we haven't been trying the right way. There is one way. Dick. How? Ralston. Make him tell her the bet. Van. He won't do that — Frame him! Dick. (Rises) What? Van. A frame-up is the hardest thing in the world to dodge. Real danger is often accomplished by certain warning signals. In a frame-up those who plan it take away the signs. Do you follow me? Ralston. Yes. Dick. As far as you've gone. Van. We've got to catch him off his guard. Dick. Who can do it? 94 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Van. Gwen. Ralston. How can she do it? Van. He is more apt to lower his guard to her, isn't he? Ralston. Yes. Dick. What will she say to him ? What will she ask him? Van. Now be patient — Gwen knows that mis- take of Mabel's — we'll call it a mistake Ralston. (Very emphatic) You know it's a mistake. Van. All right, we know it's a mistake — It has made her mother very unhappy. She doesn't know exactly what it's all about, but that is what she must ask Bob. Ralston. What do you think he'll tell her? Van. It depends upon what she asks, and how she asks it. Dick. Certainly. I can see that. What's the trouble between father and mother? What are those girls doing here? It breaks my heart to see mother so unhappy. That kind of stuff, eh? Van. That's it. "Tell me, please tell me, that my father never met them." If he's got one spark of manhood left in him, he'll lie like a gentleman. (Sure laugh, but on the business that follows, Dick and Ralston, who have been facing audience think- ing this over, turn and look at Van simultaneously on the word "gentleman" ) Any man would. Ralston. Yes, I think even he would. Dick. (Crossing down from r. c. to r. in front of table) Well, if he wouldn't he's a stony-hearted jailor. Ralston. It's a mean advantage to take of him, but it's better than letting him win. Dick. Oh, I think to let him win would be ter- rible. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 95 Van. The only way he can win is over my dead body. Ralston. He'll lie to Gwen if she asks the right question. Van. Sure! To comfort her he'll tell her that you never met them. Ralston. How will we know? Van. We will listen. We'll catch him red- handed. Dick. (Coming to Van J Who will coach Gwen? Who will tell her what to say? Van. I will. Ralston. (Gleefully) Good! Why didn't we think of this before? (Starts to go upstairs but only a step) We would never have heard the last of this, if he had won the bet. Van. (To l. of arch c.) Let's find Bob. Dick. All right. We all going to listen? (Crosses to r. near arch) Ralston. Certainly, we don't want any argu- ment. (Going up the stairs. Gets as far as the first landing) I'm going to stay right up here. Don't let's have an argument. (Takes two steps up the long stairs) Dick. I'm going to find Bob and be right out here. (Starts to exit r. As he does so — enter Ethel and Bishop from r. to u. through c. arch) Ethel. (As soon as the men hear this new char- acter they return to their positions. Ralston hides on the first landing behind the four-foot jog. Van extreme l. Dick r. Ralston does not make a move during this scene as it will detract from the plot that follows) Oh, Mr. Donnelly, where's Gwen? Dick. She's not here now. Bishop. (At c.) I'm so excited. They have heaped the measure of our request. 9 6 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Ethel. Father sent me over with these for Gwen. (Shows four checks) Dick. What are they? Ethel, Just a moment, till I get my breath. When I arrived home, I found a lot of men there. They were having such a time, laughing up- roariously. Dick. What about? Ethel. They called me in and sent me here with the Bishop. Dick. Yes, yes. But what is it all about? Ethel. You'll have to let me tell it my way. Dick. All right. Ethel. For it's so important. Dick. All right. Ethel. (Front of table) It seems that Mr. Ralston tried to sell something to father and the other gentlemen, and when they heard that he had offered to double Gwen's charity money — you don't mind my saying this, do you ? Dick. No. Go on! Ethel. Well, Mr. Marshall said, "Old Ralston Irs worked up a reputation for being charitable but he's never given a dollar, because he's offered to double a prohibitive sum. This is our chance to catch him." And they all know it's a worthy charity. Here's the checks. Father's, Mr. Mar- shall's, Mr. Hadley's, Mr. Carter's. Ten thousand dollars each. Forty thousand dollars. And with Gwen's twenty thousand it makes a grand total of sixty thousand dollars for him to double. Ral- ston gives a big groan and sinks with his head on the balustrade) ("Bishop crosses up to the left of foot of stairs) Bishop. Did you hear the glad tidings? Did you hear the glad tidings? Ralston. (On the small platform, gives the NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 97 Bishop one look, then comes down the stairs to r. c.) Yes, I heard the glad tidings. Ethel, (l. c.) Oh, Mr. Ralston, they've de- cided to call the home by your name, The Ralston Home. Ralston. ( c.) Hmm ! I'll probably have to go there to live. Ethel. (Crossing up to the stairs and going up them, followed by Bishop ) Come along, Bishop. I'm going upstairs and tell Mrs. Ralston. (Exits with Bishop up stairs) Ralston. Sixty thousand dollars — I'm the one that always has to pay. I'll make him lose that bet and save that much anyway. Let's take Van's advice and frame him. (Works up to c. arch. Looks off) There's Gwen. Van. (To Dick) Find Bob. Dick. All right. (Exits r. 2) Ralston. It's a shame to do it. We'll catch him red-handed. (Going up the stairs) Don't let's miss a word of it. I'll be right up here. (Exits up stairs) (Van to r. of settee) (Enter Gwen from c. Crosses down to settee l. in front of piano) Gwen. Mr. Van Dusen. Van. I'm waiting here to see Bob. I've been talking with your father and mother. Your mother is upstairs — she's tired, I fancy. Gwen. Yes, I'm afraid she is. Van. It's too bad. You seem worried about something. ( Van has come r. of settee and is stand- ing. Gwen seated on the settee) Gwen. Oh, no, Mr. Van Dusen. Van. Oh, yes, I don't want to intrude into a personal matter, but Mr. Donnelly invited those young ladies here. They are not friends of Bob as you think. 98 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Gwen. I didn't think so. I was under the im- pression they were Dick's — or maybe, friends of father's. Van. Your father doesn't know them — never met them. Gwen. Are you sure? Van. You ask Bob. He'll tell you all about it. Gwen. I'm going to ask him. Van. Tell him how worried you are. (Starts to cross stage to exit up c.) Make him reassure you. (Enter Bob from r v looking at his watch) Van. Why, how do you do, Robert? (Exits c. to r., sure laugh) Gwen. (Rising and coming to c.) Bob, please sit here. (Indicating l. on settee) Bob. I just want to fix this. (Starts for chair l. of table r.) Gwen. No — there (Pointing to settee again) (Bob crosses and sits on the left hand of settee) (Gwen, after Bob has seated himself, crosses over and sits r. of settee) Bob, do you really love me? Bob. Why, yes, Gwen. (Bob goes to put his arm around Gwen She gets up quickly and goes to c. When nothing is there to support Bob, he falls and his hand strikes the side of the settee. He sits up, feels his hand, takes the pillow which is on his side of the settee and places it on Gwen's side, to prevent a recurrence. After business Gwen comes back to the settee and sits) Gwen. Now, Bob, I am not going to have the other men in this house come to me, and offer me their sympathy, while you avoid me. It is your duty to explain everything to me. Bob. If you will wait just a little while, I can explain everything so easily. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 99 (NOTE — Clock now fifteen (15) minutes to four) Gwen. Why will it be easier then than now? Bob. Why? Gwen. Yes, why? Bob. Well, because later — my mind will work easier. (NOTE — During this scene Gwen must sit up- right and take the attitude of cross-examination. Bob is sparring for time and very cautions) Gwen. I think you can tell me the truth now, just as well as later. Is it any easier to tell the truth on one day than on another? Bob. Yes, very much. Gwen. What? (In working clock hand to this hour you will find that the numerous laughs will aid you greatly. However, you must use your own judgment from the fifteen minutes to the five minutes period) Bob. Now listen, Gwen, won't you please trust me? Everything that I do I am doing for you. Gwen. I don't want to appear ungrateful, but truthfully I cannot see what you are doing for me, Bob. Those girls Bob. Now, Gwen, please. Gwen. Why did they come here? Bob. I think they came here to see Dick. Gwen. Did they come here to see father? Bob. No, no, Gwen. Believe me, that is true. Gwen. I believe you. Then mother is mistaken. Bob. Yes. Gwen. Why couldn't you have told me that at once. You don't enjoy seeing me worry, do you? Bob. That would make me very miserable, Gwen. I couldn't see you worry. Gwen. Then reassure me. (Enter Ralston ioo NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH stealthily from the top stairs, comes on four steps and remains until given point to exit.) Swear to me that my father never met either of those girls. That will convince me, and I will be happy. Well—? Bob. Gwen, if I tell you I never saw your father with either of those girls, would that make you any happier? Gwen. Yes. ( Ralston's face lights up with a smile as he knows Bob is going to lie. Bob, by in- tuition, feels that there is somebody in back of him. He shows the audience with his eyes that he is conscious of what is being done to him by the three men) (Pause — for a count of ten) Why do you hesitate? Did you ever see my father with those girls ? Bob. (Quickly) Yes. (Ralston, who has been on the quiveve, grabs his head, gasps and exits up the stairs) Gwen. Where? Bob. In the office. Gwen. When ? Bob. Yesterday. (NOTE — All of Bob's replies are pulled out of him, never quick) Gwen. What were they doing? Bob. (Starts to rise) Write me a letter about it, Gwen. Gwen. (Restraining Bob,) Just a moment. What were they doing when you saw them? Bob. Talking. Gwen. Just talking? Bob. There's a chain at Tiffany's at five — : — Gwen. Just a moment. What else did you see? Bob. I saw a chair — and an ice cooler, a stock ticker (Gwen stops him before he can get any further than ice cooler) NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH lot Gwen. Bob! When you first saw my father with those girls what was he doing? Bob. He was lighting a cigarette. Gwen. But he doesn't smoke cigarettes. Bob. I know he doesn't. That's the funny part about it. Gwen, But you just said father was lighting a: cigarette. Bob. I know I did. Gwen. Oh, then, it wasn't his cigarette? Bob. No. Gwen. Then whose cigarette was it? (This line comes as a sudden thought to Gwen ) Bob. I think it was Philip Morris's. (Clock hand at five to four) (CLOCK 5 to 4) Gwen. Bob ! (After a pause) Who was smok- ing the cigarette? Answer me truthfully. Bob. (Deaf mute signs — spells "Mabel") Gwen. Mabel? Bob. (Bus. "yes") Gwen. (Rising slowly) (Walking) Father lit her cigarette ? Bob. (Business — spells "Yes") Gwen. (Turns back to Bob suddenly) Well, you ought to be ashamed of yourself for telling me such a thing. Bob. Gwen ! Gwen. And furthermore, I do not think you are telling me the truth. Bob. (In desperation) Please don't say it isn't the truth. Gwen. Because Mr. Van Dusen just told me father had never met them. (Van comes on from c. Gets half-way on the stage, as he hears this next line. He doesn't stop but turns quickly and goes right out c. again. Tremendous laugh) Bob. Van Dusen is a liar! (Exit Van) 102 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Gwen. I'd believe him. Bob. I did it all for you. Gwen. Oh! (Turns quickly and goes up the steps. As she reaches the middle, she stops) I had much rather you had spent your time telling the truth for me. (Exits up stairs) (Enter Ralston from l. c. Don't let this confuse you as he has simply come from the top stairs in another por- tion of the house, and comes around) (Dick enters from r. Van from c. They all make a ferocious movement for BobJ (Bob rises when he hears Ralston, goes c. Ralston l. c. Dick r. Van r. c.) Ralston. Leave my house. I divorce you — I mean I dissolve you — you are no longer my partner. Van. I have seen some people want to win a bet, but I've never met your equal. (Van goes up c.) (Dick crosses to Bob J Dick. To get an idea into his head you would have to drill through four inches of solid rock. Of course, if you want to quarrel with your bread and butter, it's not my affair. But you talk too much. (Crosses to r. Van comes down r. of Bob centre) Van. You should listen twice as much as you talk. That's why you were given two ears and only one mouth. Ralston. That was the psychological moment to have settled everything. Now, where are we? (Bob turns and looks at the clock, which is now three minutes to four) (3 to 4) Bob. In the stretch. Ralston. Oh, in the stretch. (This line is un- important, it is only used to allow Gwen to fill in coming down the stairs. Gwen enters as Bob's "in the stretch" Comes to c. l. of Bob,) Gwen. I'm sorry to have to speak to you again, NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 103 but I find that we have more charity money than we need. Please return my ten thousand dollars. Bob. I can't do that. Van. (Immediately sees anew avenue of escape) If he can't, ask him what he did with it. Ralston. (Gets the same idea) That's right, go on, Gwen, ask him what he did with your ten thousand dollars. Go on, my child, I'm your father — if you love me, ask him what he did with your ten thousand dollars. (Ralston looking at clock. Now one minute and a half to four) (Clock ij4 to 4) Gwen. Tell me, Bob, what did you do with it? Bob. I can't tell you. Van. You not only can, but you must. (Clock ready) Ralston. Tell her the truth, what did you do with your ten thousand dollars? Van. Ask him again, he's got to tell you. Gwen. Bob, tell me what did you do with my ten thousand dollars? Ralston. Answer her, answer her. Bob. (To Gwenj Do you really want to know? Gwen. I must know. Bob. (To Van,) And you want her to know what I did with her ten thousand dollars? Van. (Quickly) Yes. Bob. (Turning and looking at clock up stage, and stalling every second for time. The men are all cognisant of the fact and are trying to make him speak) (To Ralston ) And you want her to know what I did with her ten thousand dollars? Ralston. Yes. Bob. (Turning to Dick) And you want her to know what I did with her ten thousand Dick. Yes. (Dick doesn't allow him to finish) Bob. (To Gwen ) Well, if you really want to 104 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH know what I did with your ten thousand dollars — ask your father. (Clock one to four) (Turns to father) (CLOCK i to 4) Ralston. No, no, don't ask me, I don't know. Bob. Ask Van. Van. I don't know. Bob. Ask — Dick. Dick. I don't know anything about it. Gwen. Bob, I insist that you tell me the truth. Ralston. No evasions. Gwen. Bob, if you do not tell me what you did with my money, I will break off our engagement. (Bob cornered at last) Bob. (Anxiously) Do you mean that ? Gwen. I do. Men. Tell her. (Clock strikes four) (Four o'clock strikes) (Everybody stands perfectly still. Bob's face breaks into a smile. He goes up and kisses and pats clock) Bob. (Coming dozvn to Gwen at c. left of her) Well, I won. Van. Now that you've won, will you tell her what you did with your ten thousand? Bob. Yes. Van. (Quickly) Tell her. Bob. No, you're too anxious. You might have been up to that clock again. (Goes over to tele- phone on piano) Hello, Central. Give me the correct time, please, will you? (Pause) Are you sure? Please see that it is correct. Thank you. (Hangs up receiver. Goes to Gwen, who is now R. c.) It's all right, Gwen, I won your ten thou- sand dollars. Gwen. (Turning her back on him and talking to Dick who is l. of table r. And Van extreme R. Ralston extreme l.) Thank you. Bob. (Sees immediately that he has to lie to get NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 105 Gwen back, that she will not believe the truth) Say, listen, Gwen, don't act like that. What I said about your father wasn't true. ("Bob's first lie. As he spoke it, he pulls out his watch and turns half- way and looks at clock to be sure it is four o'clock. He is still afraid) (Gwen turns to BorJ He never met those girls. (Turning to Ralston, who is seated by this time on the settee lJ Did you? No. You know, little partner, that I didn't mean to call you a walrus. But at that minute I could not think of whale. (Ralston gives Bob a dubious look) And, Dick, you know what I said about you? (Dick nods) You know I didn't mean that, don't you? (Dick smiles) And, Van, you know what I said about you ? (Van grunts "yes") Well, I mean that. (Enter Mrs. Ralston dozvn the steps followed by Ethel and the Bishop. Mrs. Ral- ston comes c. Ethel is left c. Bob is left of Mrs. Ralston in c.) (Bishop goes over r.) Mrs. Ral- ston, there has been a very terrible mistake here. Your husband never met those girls. (Turns to Ralston, so Ethel must be l. c. but above Bob,) Ask me if he ever met those girls. Ralston. (Who has risen) Did I ever meet those girls? Bob. No, you never met those girls. (Turns and sees Ethel, smiles) Boys, isn't that a beauti- ful hat? (CURTAIN) Ethel, will you dome a favor? (Ethel is beaming. She smiles "yes." Bob is lying in beautiful form) Will you sing something for me? (Ethel nods "yes." Bob leads her up to the piano. As Ethel sits, Bob is above her, looking in her face. Ethel sings "Just a little Love, a little kiss" the same as Act II on rise, but only the chorus. On the word "a little kiss" she turns and looks in Bob's face. Bob looks up and starts to applaud her. As he does so, Gwen speaks. 106 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH The moment Gwen speaks, Ethel drops the vol- ume of the song and is simply humming it so that the audience can get the lines going on down stage) Gwen. Bob. (Bob crosses down to Gwen c.) Tell me, what stock did you put my money on? Bob. ("Bob turns, has Gwen in his arms, gives Ralston a look, says) Steel. (Embrace) Curtain PROPERTY PLOT ACT I Furniture One flat-top desk One stenographer's desk with typewriter Four armchairs Three single chairs One stenographer's chair One filing case Ice cooler with bottle Leath armchair and table in entrance r. One bench Two leather armchairs One leather couch Side Properties On Desk Telephone on desk r. (Practical) Two ink stands Letter basket One book of stocks One large check book Pens Small calendar New York newspaper (open at stock quota- tions) Letter opener 10/ io8 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH Telegrams Sealed letters Eight large envelopes Check book — Van Paper money — Gwen. io-i-iooo Paper money — Bob. One dollar Paper money — Van. io-i-iooo Cigars — Van Ma tches — Ralston Cigarettes — Mabel or Dick Legal documents. Bill of Sales — Dick Check Pictures on the wall of following: Roosevelt, Lincoln, Washington and Wilson. Large Washington picture between windows u. c v as it is symbolic with the play. Stock ticker Hat tree Filing board with stock quotations hangs on wall d. l. below door. ACTS II and III Furniture Medium-size table r. Two chairs — either side of table r. Console table against flat u. r. Console table against flat l. Settee left Baby grand piano L. Single chair r. of the stairway Two tall stands r. and l. of c. door Table off r. entrance Chair off l. entrance Wicker table and two chairs out on the veranda NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 109 Side Properties Two small lamps on stands r. and l. of doors c. Pano lamp Large jar of summer flowers on console table u. R. Large jar of summer flowers on wicker table D. R. Five books in bookstand on console table d. r. Bronze picture on console table d. r. Small silver picture on photo on table. Fifteen pillows — different colors — on the seat that extends around stairway. Magazines on table out R. Magazines on wicker table c. Telephone — practical — on small console table R. Small silver picture on console table d. r. ELECTRICAL PLOT ACT II Three sets of brackets — not practical ACT III All light up full Q. (X z* !- Ill Ul ^ (0 Eq2 irv- • ° «2 O «f> Mi -J H §i -1 a ® a P^ hen -i i IL u ' tttyH3> sI7 X h- or u x coo X