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 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 
 
FEOTH 
 
 -AND- 
 
 FOAM. 
 
 BY 
 
 Maet S. Rowley. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR. 
 
 ROCHESTER, N. T: 
 Union and Adverttseb Company, Printers, 
 

 COPYRIGHT BY 
 
 MARY S. ROWLEY. 
 1888. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 " We touch and go, and sip the foam 
 of many lives." 
 
 While the mind is undergoing the process of 
 fermentation preparatory to giving the "wine of its 
 thoughts," it must throw off the foam from the sur- 
 face, until it ceases to ferment. 
 
 I have no "wine" to offer my readers, as yet; 
 nothing but the "foam," which I expect will be pala- 
 table only to the childish taste. 
 
 MARY S. ROWLEY. 
 
CHARACTERS 
 
 Dr. Graham, a celebrated Physician. 
 Jack, his Son and Clown of the Family 
 
 Capitola \ ^^^S^^^^^ of Dr. Graham. 
 Mr. Howard, a Friend of the Doctors. 
 Mrs. Howard, an Invalid. 
 Hector Murray, Alices accepted Lover. 
 Parson Green, in love with Capitola. ' 
 Bridget Maguire, Servant to Mr. Howard. 
 
ACT I. 
 SCENE I. —Dr. Graham's Office. Jack Walk- 
 ing THE Floor. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 What I should be, I am, notwithstanding the fact, 
 
 The polish of a knave I seem to lack ; 
 
 My speech, they say, is full of thorns, 
 
 And I'm always treading on sombody's corns ; 
 
 Conventional boots fit tight, you see, 
 
 To cramp deformities, and all agree 
 
 That Honesty and Benevolence shall threadbare go, 
 
 While Selfishness shall strut, a gorgeously attired foe. 
 
 You see, I happen to belong to a race 
 
 Who consider my birth very much out of place ; 
 
 And yet, why astounded are they at the fact 
 
 That unto a physician is born a quack ? 
 
8 'FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 'Tis in the natural order of thinofs 
 
 That like begets like ; well, reputation sings 
 
 And enchants the ear of many a fool, 
 
 In most professions like the medical school. 
 
 My parent, they say, is a man of lore ; 
 
 Has practiced a score of years, or more ; 
 
 He's feasted long on medical works 
 
 And learned, withal, the professional quirks. 
 
 The doctor is very well versed in psychology, 
 
 Has also a smattering of theology, 
 
 And a bit of each day is given to prayers, 
 
 While Lucifer attends — perhaps — unawares. 
 
 He (not Satan), the doctor's of good mettle. 
 
 Constantly keeping the weak ones on nettles 
 
 With a few exceptions — these are his satellites, 
 
 Who seem to think they have inalienable rights 
 
 To be drawn by some magnetic power 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 9 
 
 And hover around a starry bower. 
 
 If man would only be satisfied 
 
 To keep in his orbit, and cease to contrive 
 
 To draw some fresh gem to his " harem of stars " — 
 
 And in his wild transit, forgetting his prayers — 
 
 And also most wickedly learning to scout 
 
 At the Commandments Moses wrote on the Mount ; 
 
 And then, with all this ostensible capital 
 
 Of beauty, love, and smiles, emblematical 
 
 Of the riches of Heaven, these earthly gods 
 
 Turn on their heel, throw their wealth " to the dogs," 
 
 As, they spy a new star of beauty arise, 
 
 And, comet-like, speed for their new-found prize ; 
 
 They brook no restraint, and have no compunction. 
 
 Whether or not they be inconjunction 
 
 With a Venus or Juno, so long as they feel 
 
 They deceive Jupiter and escape "Ixion's wheel." 
 
10 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 O restless mortals, sage and seer, 
 Deign to stoop and lend thine ear 
 To youthful prattle ; thy life is told ^ 
 In the story of the " Rainbow and Pot of Gold." 
 Enter Dr. Graham. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 Jack, here ! go order my horse ! 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I'll order the beast, O yes, of course. 
 
 \_Exit Jack. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 O dear ! ' tis nothing but toil and trouble ! 
 And cares continually boil and bubble 
 On the fretful sea of professional life, 
 Where barks are clashing in anger and strife. 
 If ever we catch a moment for dreams, 
 They are sandwiched in with practical themes. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 11 
 
 My thoughts, oft'times, take fancy's wing, 
 
 And from memory's fountain of pleasure bring 
 
 Sweet waters of joy ; and the man of three score 
 
 Is reveling in his youth once more. 
 
 I dream of starry nights of beauty. 
 
 Where all things speak of love, not duty. 
 
 And fairy forms come floating by 
 
 With garments rosy as the evening sky, [physic 
 
 When — "tingle — tingle!" Zo2tnds ! I'm a doctor of 
 
 And somebody wants me to cure the phthisic. 
 
 Where are my visions of beauty, I wonder ! 
 
 And why do dreamers make such a blunder ? 
 
 Enter Jack. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Halloo ! father ! here's the beast 
 
 At your command ! that is — at least — 
 
13 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 The harness'd one is at your door, 
 The other beast's a man of lore. 
 
 Si7igs : 
 
 A iveary traveler luorn, and sad, 
 
 Cries, ''Are the ivaters of life to be had 
 
 Here in the desert? Are there no 7'ills?''' 
 
 Quoth a magpie, ''Nothi7igbiLt pills T 
 A trozdiled soiU asks for relief, 
 With uptiLrned eyes all filled with gi'icf — 
 " What is the C2ire for mortal ills F" 
 QjLoth a magpie ''Nothing but pills f' 
 
 When sorrow drinks from szucctest hearts, 
 TJirongh many a zvound from CiLpid's darts. 
 It seeks a cure for sighs and thrills — 
 Quotha magpie, "Nothing but pills!''' 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 13 
 
 ''A ray of light and roses rare, 
 "■A sionny look and words of cheer 
 ''Are a better cure for mortal ills,'' 
 QiLoth a fiightingale, Than bitter pills ! 
 
 SCENE II. — The Sick Chamber of Mrs. Howard. 
 The Invalid Lying on a Couch. Dr. Gra- 
 ham AND Jack in an Adjoining Room. 
 
 MRS. HOWARD : 
 
 O, can we do nothing but moan and sigh ! 
 When starving, struggling, dreading to die ! 
 Asking for alms, but not for bread. 
 Yet dreading to tell of the aching head, — 
 Of the void in the heart, of the thirsty soul. 
 Of the bursts of anguish that over it roll ; — 
 Fearing to tell, lest we get for each moan 
 Nauo-ht from the selfish world but a stone. 
 
14 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM {^catcJiiiig a fciu words).'. 
 
 She's mutterinor somethinp- about ''bread'' and a ''stone,'' 
 
 When I tell her she needs only a little to7ie\ 
 
 Some trouble about the mind, I fear — 
 
 And hard to manage, 'tis very clear. 
 
 She's got the queerest notions, I'm told, 
 
 About these moonshine mystics of old 
 
 Which quacks adopt, when so shallow of brain 
 
 They fail to gain the scientific plain. 
 
 They play all the tricks of the wizards of old, 
 
 And can heal at any moment I'm told ; 
 
 Their manner of speech is quite prophetic, 
 
 And they dub their school Ecletic, or Magnetic. 
 
 Their method is "laying on of hands," 
 
 And then the spirit of healing descends — 
 
 That is, with the aid of prayer, you see. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 15 
 
 And the sick are healed, Deo volente. 
 Humph ! nothing but moonshine, I must confess, 
 And the thing, condensed, is no more nor less 
 Than psychology, or some physical attraction 
 That no doubt brings the patient great satisfaction. 
 Confound it ! I hate to make the confession, 
 But these magnetic fellows hurt our profession. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 "Magnetic fellows" — who are they ? 
 
 And how can they hurt your profession, pray? 
 
 I thought your rock of medical science 
 
 Was strong enough to bi'd defiance 
 
 To all new-fangled whimsical breezes — 
 
 I'm astonished to find your profession sneezes 
 
 In this changable weather; 'tis a stormy time. 
 
 Better secure your rock with a prop of some kind. 
 
16 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 Stuff ! nonsense ! I tell you, Jack, 
 
 You really must not uphold these quacks ; 
 
 Dont you know, you're only a beginner — 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I'm innocence in pin-feathers, born of a sinner ; 
 
 And of course I haven't learned to crow 
 
 " Zo)?; juov, odq d^^anoj." 
 
 In soft little notes one needs to smother 
 
 Under the scientific cover 
 
 Of materia 7iiedua. Well, who knows. 
 
 After one's full-fledged wisdom grows. 
 
 Innocence may perhaps play treason 
 
 And Virtue may be spiced and seasoned 
 
 To suit the scientific mind ; — 
 
 'Tis the fashion, they say, with all mankind ; 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 17 
 
 But pardon me, S' il vous plait, 
 
 And I'll sample things some future day. 
 
 \Exit Dr. Gra.ham. 
 " MaQ;"netic fellows ! " ho ! ho ! ho ! 
 Tis a well coined phrase. Apropos — 
 Now, really; what an egregious blunder — 
 I wonder not that o-ods should thunder 
 When electric currents leap into man, 
 And strike the death-blow to the scientific plan. 
 Well, who's to blame! the gods, or Franklin? 
 'Tis dangerous, they say, to tamper with lightning ; 
 Still, father is yet uninjured, I see ; 
 I suppose, because he's clothed cap-a-pie 
 In his medical armor, marked M. D. 
 'Tis a non-conductor, or sipposed to be — 
 I'm not under oath, but don't feel free 
 To " tell tales out of school, " you see 
 
18 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 So I'll " spoil my story for relation's sake," 
 
 And drop but a hint, lest the medical faculty quake. 
 
 I've accompanied father on his route 
 
 Of medical duties — ('twas an innocent scout), — 
 
 'Tis a usual thing- the husband's out — 
 
 Sometimes he happens to have the orout — 
 
 The physician attends on him, of course, 
 
 With pills from a strictly medical source. 
 
 Sometimes, — the occasions may be rare, 
 
 The wife's not a Penelope — and yet I couldn't swear 
 
 She was a modern Cressida ; at least, she's more coy 
 
 And makes less disturbance than Helen of Troy. 
 
 She seems to be a little ill ; 
 
 " Would the physician advise a pill?" 
 
 '' Why, my dear madame," he softly responds, 
 
 Then beckoning to me — '' pottr prendre congty 
 
 Of course, I obey him then and there, 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 19 
 
 So, for the life of me, I couldn't swear 
 About the prescription. 'Tis really a great fault 
 For science to turn such a somersault, 
 And especially, when a Doctor of Physic— 
 (Fiddlesticks! I can rhyme with phthisic. 
 But then, I consider, that a well-brought-up muse 
 Should know medical phrases and be able to choose 
 Appropriate words.) Well, tis strange 
 That science will take such a wide range 
 As to coax sweet Cupid to come with his quiver 
 Into the sanctum sanctorum where the skeleton and 
 
 liver 
 Play such a very conspicuous part : 
 And then to coax Cupid to use his darts 
 From a quiver on which is marked " Digitalis." 
 Egad! I think Honesty must hang on the gallows, 
 
•^0 FROTH AJ^D FOAM. 
 
 Or else it must surely be deaf to reason 
 
 Not to cry out against such treason. 
 
 SCENE III.— Dr. Graham in the Sick Room. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 Well, my dear madame, on examining your spine 
 There's a greater curvature than I expected to find; 
 And 'tis necessary now, as I told you, you know, 
 For a plaster-of-Paris jacket — you tremble; pooh! 
 You must not be frightened ; there's really no need, 
 I'm not going to torture, to blister, or bleed — 
 Be quiet, now, madame ; no occasion for sobs, 
 I'll finish this quickly, and make a good job. 
 
 \^The invalid is hung. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 21 
 
 MRS. HOWARD. 
 
 You say, do you, I must keep still ! 
 
 You tell me "you know I can if I will;" 
 
 What do you think I'm made of, I pray. 
 
 To be treated, sir, in this kind of a way ? 
 
 Hanging a woman for a crooked spine, 
 
 When, I know, in eight cases out of nine 
 
 Wives are hung for their husbands' faults ; 
 
 They sicken and "cannot earn their salt," 
 
 The men complain. " How I behave / " 
 
 Do you say? Why, I cannot but rave! 
 
 Hanging here like a silly goose 
 
 To be plastered up with all sorts of abuse! 
 
 I'll tell you now, sir, what I heard, 
 
 'Twas really most ridiculously absurd : 
 
 When my husband asked what you would do 
 
 With my case, "could you really heal? " said you — 
 
22 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 " IVhy, Jiang Jicr, sir!'' " You're a sensible man! " 
 Said my worthy spouse ; "but the wiser plan 
 Would have been to have hung her before we were 
 
 wed ! " 
 Why! good man; have you a heart of lead ! 
 Have you eyes, and have they no tears ; 
 Have you ears, and cannot they hear 
 How the spirit within us doth moan — 
 Seest thou naught but a crooked bone ? 
 Oh. sir; have pity and let me down ! 
 Do not look from me and frown ; 
 I thought, perchance, to find a glance 
 Of sympathy, sir; but woe, bechance 
 To find no pity in your face, 
 When first my husband brought my case 
 Before your observation. He, with a sneer, 
 Said to you " '^was very queer 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 23 
 
 That women were all so sickly now! ' 
 And I know he's regretted he took the vow 
 To cherish in sickness as well as in health! 
 Oh, sir; I once had a world of wealth 
 In that man's love ; but now 'tis lost, 
 And I am left all tempest-tossed 
 On an angry sea! Oh, stormy life! 
 Is there no peace? Is it all strife? 
 
 SCENE IV. — Jack and Bridget in an Adjoining 
 
 Room. 
 
 BRIDGET : 
 
 Indade ! an' it seems if me heart would break 
 To hear that poor lady undertake 
 To tell her throubles! No one 'ud belave, 
 To see her husband, so fine he'll behave, 
 
24 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 He'd thrate her so mean! Och! the knave! 
 
 To thry and make thim all belave 
 
 She's losin' her mind; jist because he's afraid 
 
 She'll tell of his bad ill-thratement to her! Indade 
 
 An' it's not the loikes of Biddy Maguire 
 
 To hould her pace if the " fat's in the fire !" 
 
 JACK : 
 
 What's the man trying to do, I wonder, 
 Torturing her in this way? Thunder! 
 He'd better murder his wife outright 
 Than to inflict slow torture, enough sight ! 
 
 BRIDGET : 
 
 Indade an it's so! bad luck to the crathure! 
 On me soul, now ; I'd loike to talk to the prature 
 That comes here so much ; an' the dacons, too! 
 They're makin' sich a great hullabaloo 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 25 
 
 About this mon, jist because he has money! 
 By the Howly Virgin! it's very funny, 
 When riches floy in the divil's face 
 He'll smirk an' smoile wid a saint-like grace, 
 An' no one can tell ; not even the praste, 
 Whither he's a foine ould saint, or a baste! 
 
 JACK : 
 They bow to mammon in great humility 
 In many a home of seeming gentility ; 
 But fraught v^ith all the devil's ability. 
 And burdens are borne with lamb-like docility. 
 Is this life a farce, or am I a fool? 
 And is wedded life much else than a school 
 Where we parse " I love," and call it bliss, 
 Not knowing the odds till we go amiss ? 
 
 BRIDGET : 
 
 Is it love that ye call it ; well thin now indade ! 
 
2g FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 It's what I call Purgatory; an' sure now. instead! 
 
 May the Virgin have mercy now on n.e soul ! 
 
 I've already mittened Patrick Magoul 
 
 Since I come to this house I 1 see sich behavior, 
 
 I can't be in love, an' thin worship me Saviour. 
 
 I've not tould ye all, an' its Biddy Maguire 
 
 That'll not hould her peace, if the " fat's in the lire !" 
 
 A bad girl it was that worked here before me, 
 
 The loikes of that girl, I niver did see ; 
 
 For she made as much throuble as the divil could do 
 
 Betwane this poor lady and the family, you know; 
 
 She'd go to the sick lady's room, this Kate, 
 
 And be so nice to her face, so pleasant and swate, 
 
 She desaved all the family with her very nice ways 
 
 An' kept up a divil of a fuss, with her lies. ■ 
 
 Och ! the spalpeen ! if the poor ladydies, 
 
 I'll expose this bad girl, I swear by me eyes ! 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 'Z7 
 
 I suppose the foine folks wouldn't listen to me, 
 
 They want me spacheless, except, you see, 
 
 Whin the company comes, and thin they must ate; 
 
 Och ! an' would they loike to be filled with decate ? 
 
 'Tis " Biddy come here ! the dacon's a'comin'", 
 
 While I belave in me soul I hear the groanin' 
 
 Of the dear swate lady alone up stairs [prayer?. 
 
 While the company's a'feastin' an' a'saying their 
 
 Och ! they crow an' cackle, an' they cackle an' crow. 
 
 But the divil an egg you'll find, you know. 
 
 (Bxz'l Bridget.) 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Ah Love ! thou camest in garb so quaint : 
 Oft thou art clothed with the light of a saint ; 
 But oftener still, in very great measure, 
 Lucifer clothes thee at his own pleasure ; 
 
28 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 And the ceaseless tide of folly and fashion 
 
 Make the ebb and flow of man's mad passion, 
 
 Leaving- Love to be constantly wrecked on the coast, 
 
 Stalking away in the form of a ghost. 
 
 O ye gods ! cannot ye divine 
 
 How "life's vinegar" can be turned into wine, 
 
 And why it is love's sweetest savor 
 
 So suddenly gets a homely flavor ? 
 
 Is there not some man of lore 
 
 That this great mystery can explore ? 
 
 'Tis time we appealed to the tribunal above, 
 
 That henceforth, in buying and selling love, 
 
 Lucifer must come with his " revenue stamp" 
 
 And paste it securely on every scamp ; 
 
 'Tis then, we'll divide the wheat from the tares. 
 
 And make many very good household repairs. 
 
^O ye gods! cannot ye divine" 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 39 
 
 ACT 11. 
 
 SCENE I. — A Room in Dr. Graham's House. 
 Alice and Capitola with a Pan of Potatoes, 
 Carving " Adam and Eve." 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 This is your first lesson in sculpture, Cap, 
 Pray now, be careful, don't have a mishap ; 
 Could we transform from a potato, a man, 
 'Twould be an improvement on the original plan. 
 And silence many an anxious query 
 In regard to this Darwinian theory. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 I'm afraid I've taken too large a slice 
 Off from the shoulder ; now could we splice 
 On a bit for the arm, d'you think ? O dear ! 
 Adam is almost ruined, I fear. 
 
30 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Slice off the other side, just so ! 
 
 Some prefer a sHm kind of a beau ; 
 
 And yet, not quite so lank and lean 
 
 As your ardent admirer. Parson Green, 
 
 Thou art a great mystery, O man, 
 
 And I would thou Avert made on a higher plan ; 
 
 But how 'twill be done, I cannot tell, 
 
 I only know that Adam fell. 
 
 And since that time, the world's grown old. 
 
 And still women love, and still they are sold. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 Now he is finished; isn't he grand ! 
 The finest potato in all the land ; 
 Those stalwart limbs, so straight and tall- 
 Wonder if he knows anything about the " fall" ? 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 31 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 " Tis not good for man to be alone," 
 
 But what shall we do, potatoes have no bone ! 
 
 Put Adam in water, lest he mortify, 
 
 And then we'll make Eve, you know, on the sly. 
 
 Woman was always a mystery to man, 
 
 For Adam slept ! 'twas the wiser plan. 
 
 Ah Love ! thou art a child of fame. 
 
 And yet thou comest only in name 
 
 And not in person ; dost thou weep alone, 
 
 Sighing for another Adam and another bone 
 
 That thou mayest find a being, as well as name, 
 
 And a local habitation ? To create gives fame ! 
 
 So we'll work away with heart and soul 
 
 Until the vegetable kingdom doth unfold 
 
 A creation of beauty ! lo, atid behold ! 
 
 Love doth take form from a beautiful mould. 
 
32 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 The work Is finished, and reaHty defies 
 All shadowy forms ! Come, Adam, Arise! 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 (9, ivhat have I done ! Alice, look quick ! 
 Eve has fallen and broken her neck ! 
 {Enter Jack.) 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Why girls, what is the matter 
 
 That you should make such a terrible clatter ! 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 O, Jack! Eve's had a fall ! 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Pshaw, girls, and is that all ! 
 
 Think you to engage in such enterprise 
 
 Without having Satan near to entice? 
 
 Six thousand years ago, or more. 
 
 And still men and women fall by the score. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 33 
 
 Let me see. girls ! show us your man ! 
 Ho-ho ! well, going to patent the plan ? 
 From man to a vegetable is a sad gradation, 
 And I think I shall snub such ereen relation. 
 Well, now, my dear little madam. 
 See if you can't find another rib in Adam. 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 This Eve was not made from a bone, 
 
 This is a woman of hieher tone ; 
 
 As to how this pair was made, I'd fain 
 
 To my learned hearers this mystery explain. 
 
 I'll say like Topsy, " I 'spect they grow'd !" 
 
 When the harvest came, and the ground was hoed, 
 
 Adam and Eve in a crude state arose ; 
 
 They both had eyes, but no fingers and toes. 
 
 They were " small potatoes and few in a hill," 
 
 Like many others in this little ville. 
 
34 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 This wonderful philosophy of the evolution of matter, 
 
 That has kept the world in such a clatter, 
 
 Is now about to be revealed ! 
 
 The book is opened, the mystery unsealed ! 
 
 Our special artist solves the riddle of life, 
 
 With a pan of potatoes and carving-knife. 
 
 SCENE II. — Dr. Graham's Office. The Doctor 
 
 Sits Reading. 
 Enter Jack. 
 
 JACK {aside) : 
 Father sits in his office, this rainy day, 
 Listening to music the elements play ; 
 And undoubtedly thinking his cloak too thin 
 To keep out either the rain, or sin; 
 He settles himself in a cosy place, 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 35 
 
 While his thoughts run off in quest of a case 
 
 That has baffled all the medical skill, 
 
 And taken all doses, from scorn, to a pill. 
 
 She's been blistered, and bled, and finally hung 1 
 
 Better say Amen ! to what they have done, 
 
 And act the "Good Samaritan's" part. 
 
 And find a balm for the wounded heart. 
 
 It's not in the medical books, I suppose. 
 
 And where 'twill be found, God only knows ; 
 
 The Bible orives some ^ood advice 
 
 That has never been "followed by men or mice;" 
 
 But then, you see, 'tis out of the question 
 
 To suppose that prayers will heal a congestion ; 
 
 There's no authority from the medical sphinx 
 
 To heal with religious winks and blinks. 
 
 Nor to doff its great professional cloak 
 
 For a bit of a threadbare pious hoax. 
 
36 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Father is feeding his brain, I see, 
 
 And is deep in the mysteries of chemistry ; 
 
 There is iron for the blood, quinine for a chill, 
 
 That says to the ague, "peace, be still!" 
 
 And by putting the bone through a chemical school, 
 
 Phosphorus will feed the brain of a fool. 
 
 Man is a mystery, I must confess, 
 
 When in all the dignity of his medical address 
 
 He meekly descends to the graves of the dead 
 
 To furnish the livine with a better head. 
 
 ( The doctor falls asleep in Jiis chair.) 
 
 Halloo ! father halts in his scientific plodding ; 
 The sage is asleep, and the dunce is nodding. 
 Gods of Morpheus, where dost thou dwell ! 
 And from whence comest thy potent spell 
 To tickle the brain with thy wonderful plan, 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 37 
 
 And make a mummy from a medical man. 
 Had I the faculty of consulting with ghosts, 
 Like these dreamy spiritual folks, — 
 (I suppose 'tis easy enough when known — 
 Just a little improvement on the telephone) ; 
 I'd ask for a gift from thy plenteous stores, — 
 Couldst thou enliorhten this man while he snores ? 
 Sown in the dark, in lig^ht revealed, 
 'Tis the law of nature never repealed. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM (zvakmg) : 
 
 Heigho ! well ! I want to know 
 If I've been asleep ! well, heigh-ho ! 
 Bad day : is storming yet, it seems. 
 Queer ! I've had the strangest dreams : 
 It seemed as real as though 'twere facts — 
 Guess I'll have to tell it. Jack : 
 
38 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 I saw a beautiful being in white, 
 
 A form not known to mortal sieht ; 
 
 With lovely face, all filled with grief, 
 
 And tearful eyes that sought relief; 
 
 " Ah me ! " she cried, " where'er I go, 
 
 " 'Tis hearts of ice, and hands of snow ! 
 
 " 'Tis pills and tonics, sharpened blades 
 
 " That pierce the flesh, then graves are made : 
 
 " Ah ! sharpened wits, with care, I ween. 
 
 " Will reach far out into the unseen, 
 
 " And find the thorns that pierce the heart, 
 
 " Where souls are quivering 'neath the smart." 
 
 With a glance that made my being burn, 
 
 She spoke in sadder tones, yet stern : 
 
 " Men must work and women must weep ! 
 
 " And medical men shonld arouse f 7' om sleep / 
 
 "■ There are broken vows and broken hearts, 
 

 ;^ 
 
 
 S 
 
 t.3 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 39 
 
 "And many a wound from the slanderer's darts ; 
 
 " Hearts that are heavy with grief and care 
 
 " Trembhn^g^ now on the verge of despair ; 
 
 " Go find the antidote for pain, 
 
 " That souls may find peace and joy again ! 
 
 " Go seek the balm for these hurt minds, 
 
 " Thou'lt help fulfill God's great designs !" 
 
 Of course this means nothing ; dreams are not facts. 
 
 But still, 'twas rather strange, don't you think, Jack ? 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Well, 'twould seem like the dream of a quack, 
 
 For, don't you see, it hasn't the smack 
 
 Of the conventional drugs, with pestle and mortar ! 
 
 The prescription that came from this ghostly quarter, 
 
 Came like a thief in the night, you see, 
 
 Came when you were not clothed cap-a-pie 
 
40 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 In all your professional paraphernalia; 
 'Twill be hard for a man, with all this regalia 
 They say, for the kingdom of heaven to tr)', 
 As for a camel to pass through a needle's eye. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 41 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 SCENE I. — The Sick Chamber of Mrs. Howard. 
 The Invalid Lying in Bed. 
 mrs. howard. 
 The day grows dark ! the wind hath a moan ! 
 It hath much meaning in its undertone ; 
 For it comes to me in the voice of a sob, 
 Filhng my heart with an anxious throb. 
 It tells the story of a broken life — 
 Perhaps an unloved, forsaken wife ; 
 A sorrow buried from human eyes, 
 Where naught but sobs from the grave arise. 
 Could I be with kindred souls in my sorrow. 
 Were my sad tale told, would another borrow 
 A fragment of comfort, a bit of bright hue [knew 
 
 From my somber garments, could they feel that I 
 The depths of unutterable woe and despair ! 
 
42 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Of a tortured, sensitive spirit laid bare ? 
 
 Friendless, forsaken! shorn of a love 
 
 That fed every heart-throb, like light from above 
 
 That greets every morning the earth with a kiss, 
 
 That nature may revel all day in bliss. 
 
 I was cast away on a merciless sea ; 
 
 But anger was swallowed! the waves pitied me; 
 
 The voice of God was heard in the deep, 
 
 " He giveth his beloved sleep!" 
 
 It crave new life — a new sense — a deep thrill ; 
 
 The waters grew calm, yet I drift, still ; 
 
 And must I never cease to roam, 
 
 Must love forever be in quest? 
 
 " Oh, who shall build unto me a home, 
 
 And where is the place of my rest ? " 
 
 O, turbulent hearts ! where the "water of life" 
 
 Is raging within in anger and strife, 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 43 
 
 Is the presence of God to be found in the sea 
 
 And not in the souls of humanity? 
 
 Oh! the stern and cold looks of the crowd! 
 
 Oh! the sombre hue of the shroud! 
 
 They are weaving for love and for truth 
 
 As she comes in her first flush of youth. 
 
 The swallow hath place to build her nest, 
 
 But love has never found her rest ; 
 
 In all the sunny spots of earth 
 
 Where homes are filled with joy and mirth, 
 
 Has she there no kith or kin ? 
 
 Then why is the heart bleeding within ? 
 
 Friends doth turn away and sigh ; 
 
 Now, where is the living God, I cry! 
 
 The Christ who came to earth and died ! 
 
 Must love again be crucified ? 
 
 Oh! the stern and cold looks of the crowd ! 
 
U FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Oh! the sombre hue of the shroud! 
 They are weaving in darkness and sin, 
 For the heart that is bleeding within! 
 
 Enter Bridget : 
 Oh, Bridget, come quick! I'm so weak all at once! 
 
 {Faints ) 
 
 BRIDGET : 
 
 An' I belave that doctor has killed her ; the dunce ! 
 MurtJier! shes dying! an' there's none in the house! 
 Och! that man of her's ought to be throunced 
 For lavin' her alone ; an' she' dyin', sure ! 
 By the Howly Virgin! there's some one at the door! 
 
 Enter Jack. 
 
 An' it's dyin' she is! qnic/c, nozv, Jack ! 
 Go after the doctor! 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 45 
 
 JACK : 
 I'll have no quack! 
 
 He's nearly finished his work of death, 
 And now we'll let her draw her last breath 
 With none but the Great Physician above 
 To deal out His mercy in justice and love. 
 
 MRS. HOWARD — {Reviving) : 
 O life! how empty, void and cold ! 
 
 Heaven! hast thou within the fold — 
 Thy pearly gates, and streets of gold, 
 Hearts that nevermore grow cold? 
 
 BRIDGET : 
 
 The dear, swate lady! an' sure it's no wonder 
 She's axin' about hearts growin' cold over yonder! 
 
 1 thrust they'll give her a bright, happy place, 
 An' they'll put that mon of her's into the blaze ; 
 Bad luck till him, there! in the fire a hissin'! 
 
4G FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 She's speaking again — hark! Listen! 
 
 MRS. HOWARD I 
 
 Their smiles are oft but a prison door, 
 We cross its threshold and return no more ; 
 And many a Penelope has watched and waited ; 
 Only with darkness and sorrow to be fated, 
 And there she sits, sadly weaving her shroud. 
 Under life's dark and heavy cloud. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 This is a mighty crooked world. 
 
 Where the banner of love is continually unfurled 
 
 Only to be torn into a thousand shreds, 
 
 And woven again, these lover's threads. 
 
 Into a shroud. Oh, quick! Bridget, quick! 
 
 She's sinking again! She speaks! Hark 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 47 
 
 MRS. ^oyNK^Y)~{Whispermg)\ 
 
 Funeral sermon — wish — could speak 
 
 Tell him— text — O, I'm so weak! 
 Text— I was sick — and ye visited — 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I see — 
 'Tis this, " I was sick and ye visited not me ! 
 I was in prison and to me ye came not." 
 I'll remember — 
 
 MRS. HOWARD : 
 
 Tell my husband — 
 JACK : 
 
 Tell him what ? 
 
 MRS. HOWARD I 
 
 Forgave him — loved him — to the last — 
 O could I see him — going — fast — 
 He — miss me — will — he sio-h — 
 
48 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Tell him— O — tell — g-ood bye! 
 
 {Dies), 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Gone at last! — to that heavenly fold ! 
 
 Gone from the hearts that are bitter and cold! 
 
 Borne on pinions of love to the blest — 
 
 Gone to that promised haven of rest ! 
 
 O God of love, of joy and peace! 
 
 May darkness flee and light increase; 
 
 May we rise from our inglorious sleep 
 
 And learn to work for those who weep ; 
 
 With balm to heal, that joy may fill 
 
 The troubled soul, saying, " Peace be still ! " 
 
 Toll! toll! ye funeral knell! 
 
 Ring out your sobs, O, bells, bells ! 
 
 The world is dead in sin — O moan 
 
 Ye bells ! ring your funeral tones! 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 49 
 
 SCENE II — Dr. Graham's Office. 
 
 The Doctor sits reading;. 
 
 Enter Mr. Howard. 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 Good morning, sir! why, are you ill ? 
 
 MR. HOWARD : 
 
 Well — yes — but perhaps a pill 
 Or two will help to give relief — 
 A slight indigestion, 'tis my belief. 
 
 (yTells symptoms^ 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 Dear sir, the stomach is not at fault; 
 No physic, with either pills or salts, 
 Can remove the cause; I think you'll find. 
 The trouble, sir, is with the mind! 
 
 MR. HOWARD: 
 
 Well, doctor, I must admit 
 
50 FROTH AND FOAM 
 
 That horrid visions seem to flit 
 
 Before my eyes, and mournful tones 
 
 Continually haunt me, like the groans 
 
 From dying" lips, that mournfully plead 
 
 I should " bind the broken heart that bleeds." 
 
 I dreamed last night, a terrible thing 
 
 The night could not bury, but daylight doth bring 
 
 The horrible scenes more distinct and clear, 
 
 The visions of death, the grave and the bier ; 
 
 I dreamed I died, and steeds all white 
 
 Did prance with the hearse, — t'was a terrible sight! 
 
 For a grinning skeleton was lying within, 
 
 And on its forehead was written " Sin." 
 
 The scene then changed — I winged my flight 
 
 Through dark, dense clouds to a place all bright; 
 
 When lo! I stood at a pearly gate ; 
 
 " 'Tis heaven!" I cried, and there did await 
 
.' u: ^j-jv^nmimms'-'^ ii uMmmi ' mmi iii mm 
 
 *^. 
 
 9M- 
 
 cool 
 
 .&>, 
 
 JjtU" --i. , ;>_ ^^, 
 
 l:v>, 
 
 Bad', stand back, with your garments of sin ! 
 None but the ransomed are pertnitted within .' 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 5L 
 
 The summons of joy : " Come ye good 
 
 And faithful servant of the Lord." 
 
 When an angel, beautiful and glorified, 
 
 Suddenly appeared, and sternly cried ! 
 
 '"'Back, stand back, with youi' garments of si?i! 
 
 None but the ra^isomed are admitted within ! " 
 
 " But," stammered I, " I'm a Christian, you know, 
 
 "And have been zealous in fighting the foe ; 
 
 "And half my worldly goods I've given, 
 
 " For the aid of the gospel, that souls might in Heaven 
 
 " Be saved ; my honest debts I've paid;" 
 
 " Your moneyed di^ls^ !" the angel said, 
 
 " But the God of justice, standing within, 
 
 'Asks you, why those stains of sin 
 
 " On hands and brow ! are you credited above 
 
 "With having paid your debcs of loveT 
 
 I hung my head. Then the angel cried 
 
53 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 "All JLidoment you have long defied ! 
 
 "Come ! step here ! a glass I'll hold, 
 
 " Where all deformities doth unfold 
 
 " Before thy vision ! and thou shalt decide, 
 
 " \Mien the voice of the 'spirit and the bride 
 
 " Say come,' if thou shalt enter within ! " 
 
 I looked, O horror / 'twas the skeleton of sin 
 
 I saw in the hearse, drinking the blood 
 
 Of a lovely being that beside him stood. 
 
 " O God, have mercy on me !" I cried, 
 
 " That beautiful creature was once my bride ! 
 
 "The one I promised to love and to cherish 
 
 " But cold neglect hath caused her to perish !" 
 
 The vision fied ; I swooned and fell, — 
 
 But was aroused by a funeral knell. 
 
 I stood and looked in the Qrlass ao-ain, 
 
 And saw that my body was covered with stains. 
 
I looked, O horfor I 'twas the skeleton of sin 
 I saw in the hearse, &c. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 53 
 
 The angel said, " there's a fountain near, 
 
 "The source is fed by anael tears ; 
 
 " Go wash thy stains in the waters, thrice; 
 
 "And if removed, thou'lt enter paradise." 
 
 I ran to the fountain with joy, yet with fear, 
 
 But alas ! they were not removed with tears. 
 
 Then spoke a voice, commanding and stern, 
 
 " Hast thou not yet my precepts learned ? 
 
 " I was hungry, and ye gave me no meat ! 
 
 " Dost thou ask forgiveness at the mercy seat.? 
 
 " When a stranger, and sick, ye took me not in, 
 
 " Nor visited me, thou child of sin ! 
 
 " My anger toward thee shall never cease ; 
 
 " For, as ye did it not unto the least of these, 
 
 " I say, ye did it not unto me; — 
 
 " Depart ! ye children of iniquity !" 
 
 Then said the angel, " go back to earth. 
 
54 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 " Go back again to th)- lonely hearth ; 
 
 "Go thou, and 'weep with those who weep,' 
 
 " For sowing in tears, in joy we reap ; 
 
 " Go bind the bruised hearts that bleed ; 
 
 " Go clothe the poor, the hungry feed , 
 
 " Thy stains shall be cleansed with these acts alone, 
 
 " These missions of love can only atone." 
 
 Then went I back to the desolate place 
 
 I once called home ; how sad had the face 
 
 Of the father grown, as he sadly moaned, 
 
 " My child has gone ! has forever flown !" 
 
 I listened for a voice — the bird sang to its mate, 
 
 " B^Lt 071 r house was left 2 into 71 s desolate /" 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 'Tis sad indeed ! but only a dream, 
 
 MR. HOWARD {exeitedly) : 
 And yet it mocks me ! and it doth seem 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 55 
 
 To be a shadow of coming ills ; 
 
 For a fast approaching terror fills 
 
 My being : Look I lizards are creeping 
 
 O'er my flesh ! What ! are you weeping ? 
 
 Tears'll not wash away the stains, 
 
 Ho / fiends ! dost think I've slain 
 
 The innocent, with these bloody hands ? 
 
 I was wedded ; did God forbid the bans ? 
 
 DR. GRAHAM : 
 
 This is terrible ! past cure, I fear — 
 Ho ! Jack, qitick ! I want you here ! 
 
 (Jack enters and assists his father iit attempting 
 to control Mr. Howard.) 
 
 MR. HOWARD {i^avi^ig) : 
 
 Back! Stajid back ! Mine are garments of sin ; 
 Bloody with the terrible deeds done within ! 
 
56 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Did'st say she forgave me ? did I kill her? No ! 
 Never ! 'twas the devil that struck the blow ! 
 O, she is weeping ! imps ! can'st thou see ? 
 Her tears are falling; she doth pity me ! 
 Hist ! ye furies with your thundering tones ! 
 Thou hast broken her heart ! O, how she moans ! 
 
 {Exit Dr. Graham y^T assistance?) 
 
 JACK : 
 
 As thou hast sown, so shalt thou reap ! 
 Judgment hath come : weep, O weep! 
 Mourn for the tempest that is raging within ! 
 Weep and mourn for the hosts of sin ! 
 Demons of darkness, steeped in the blood 
 Of purity and innocent babyhood ; — 
 From whence comest thy children of sin ? 
 What was thy birth — how did darkness begin ? 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 57 
 
 Had 'st thou a form and an artless grace, 
 Had thy youthful visage an innocent face, 
 Wast thou nestled and fondled— did a bosom all 
 white 
 
 Pillow the head of this child of the night ? 
 
 O mourn, thou man of sin, 
 
 For the tempest of sorrow begins ; 
 
 All shrouded in darkness and gloom ! 
 
 It has come, the day of thy doom ! 
 
 It has come in thy manhood and pride. 
 
 With thy heart and thy hopes at high tide ! 
 
 Thy castles were built on the sand, 
 
 And fashioned by man's cunning hand ; 
 
 When a wave from the unknown sea. 
 
 Swept down this great treachery ! 
 
 'Tis the night of thy earthly career, 
 
 'Tis the chant of the shroud and the bier ! 
 
-g FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 And thy spirit within thee doth moan, 
 As it hears but these minor tones ! 
 O soul, clothed in sackcloth and tears, 
 Hast thou not a balm for thy fears? 
 Has thy spirit no lamp for its feet. 
 Beyond where life and death meet ? 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 59 
 
 ACT IV. 
 
 SCENE I. — The Garden of Dr. Graham. Night 
 Hector Murray, sn^cnadino- Alice. 
 hector MURRAY {siuging) : 
 Come hie thee to thy lovei^' s side, 
 And szveetest fioivers shall crown my bride : 
 While brightest rays shall kiss thy cheek, 
 And whispering tones lull sorrow to sleep. 
 Ere the God of day did bid ns ''good-night,'' 
 As onward he sped on his mission of light. 
 He threw such gleams of rosy hue 
 Upon the earth, on skies so bhie ; 
 That d er her bright face stole a beautifttl blush 
 That art can ne er copy ivith palette and brush, 
 As tapeinng fingers, tipped with carmine and gold, 
 Pointed to bozvers filled zvith love untold. 
 
60 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 ' T/s tJic hour icheji nature zucaves a spell, 
 Whose mystic pozver the heart knozvs zvell ; 
 VVJicn Eros, hiding, half reveals 
 The zvitching charms tJiat daylight steals : 
 As night doth, zvhen the shadozus deepen, 
 A nd stars peep from the face of Heaven, 
 And sparkle zvith that glistening light 
 Born zuith the zvitchery of the night. 
 When fairy forms from their slumbers arise, 
 And eyes catch gleams from h^ighter eyes. 
 The stars do tzuinkle and sparkle zvith glee 
 While Love nnveils her szveet mystery. 
 Zephyr comes laden zvith her szveetest perfttme — 
 Come I hasten Love ! my soilI is in tnne. 
 
 (Jack, sitpposing the sifiger to be Parson Green, 
 throzvs,from the balcony above,a pail of zvater over himi) 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 61 
 
 JACK (singing) : 
 Come, sprites, and bring me a pail of water 
 To baptize CiLpid's sons and daughters: 
 To quench Loves thirst, aitd its ardor cool, 
 Lest it get on fire and play the fool. 
 
 (Exit Hector Murray.) 
 
 (Jack catches up a baitjo and goes to serenade 
 Parson Green; seeing a light in the window, and 
 peeping throiLgh the shutters, he discovers the Parson 
 sitting in close proximity to a widow from the neigh- 
 bor hoodi) 
 
 JACK (coj'Ztemptuotisly) : 
 
 Heigho ! the damper gave zest to his zeal ! 
 Love's ardor will hiss, then '' turn on its heel " 
 Only to seek some new-born fire 
 Where Vice doth find its full desire. 
 
62 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Shame walks in light of day, I trow, 
 With blushine face, and lowering- brow : 
 But in darkness it struts exceedingly bold, 
 And many contortions its face doth unfold. 
 
 Come hie tJiee to Love s foiintain-heaei, 
 For naugJit but floivers have a virtuous bed ; 
 Come, lay thy head on voluptuous cJieeks, 
 Where luJiispering tones lull Virtite to sleep ; 
 IVho shall sta?id, the Ozvl, cries '' who T 
 While lust and song have a lover s coo ; 
 While Vice doth flap its ivings and crow, 
 And bristles at Virtue, with her garments of S7tow. 
 (Cock crozvsi) Oo 00 oo oo 
 
 As darkness toys with moonlight rays, 
 So Vice together with Beauty plays. 
 
While Vice doth flap its wings and croiv 
 
FROTH AND FOAM, 63 
 
 Till the innocent face of purity spoils, 
 As snow thaivs on a muddy soil. 
 Who shall stand, &c. 
 
 The ivorthy parsons cloak of creeds 
 Has no affnity for the ividows weeds '^ 
 
 The crozv sings his gruff notes, " caw, caw /" 
 And echoing notes defy all law : 
 
 Who shall stand, &c. 
 Now Virtue s boat is sinking fast. 
 And demons are thundering' in the blast ; 
 
 The angry waves are of mountain height. 
 And sailors cry for a beacon light. 
 
 Who shall save, the Owl cries '' who f 
 
 While lust and sons: have a lover s coo : 
 
 While Vice doth flap its wings and C7^ow, 
 And bristles at Virttte, with her garments of snoiv. 
 (^Cock crows i) Oo oo oo oo 
 
G4 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 SCENE II. — A Dinner Party at Dr. Graham's. 
 Alice and Jack, apart from tJic guests. 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Have the guests arrived, do you know. Jack? 
 
 ■ JACK : 
 
 They have, I think, except the parson and a quack ; 
 The solemn parson, lank and lean, 
 Having the appropriate name of Green ; 
 They're only the " pork and beans " of society, 
 Where fools do feed with great sobriety. 
 And pass their life of woe and weal, 
 In only an ignominious squeal. 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Why is it. Jack, you're always so queer. 
 And speak of our friends with such a sneer? 
 Our invited guests, will. I dare say. 
 Remember this social gathering to-day. — 
 
Now Virtue s boat is sinking fast 
 And demons are thundering: in the blast. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 65 
 
 JACK. 
 
 I don't doubt it, egad ! this sort of folks 
 Won't lag in their coming, when victuals coax : 
 They'll remember the social feast, you said. 
 Humph ! about as Ixion did, 
 Who once came down from Heaven, I'm told, 
 Having supped with all the gods of old. 
 Remembered nothing, by my troth, 
 ''But the pattern of the table-cloth^ 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Well, has the Hon. Stephen O , 
 
 And the Judge arrived yet, do you know ? 
 
 JACK : 
 
 The Jzcdge, and the Hon. Stephen O ! 
 
 Who's to be judge of his honor, pooh ! 
 '' Eyes have they, but they cannot see" 
 The knave clothed with Satan's trickery ; 
 
06 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 'Tis honorable to wear a thrifty vice, 
 
 So long as we pay the devil a price 
 
 To put on the polish. Well, wrong is demolished, 
 
 When names wear H-o-n. with a flourish. 
 
 How these titles clash and clang ! 
 
 When sounded with that peculiar twang 
 
 Which beckons for homage ; and from "Vanity Fair" 
 
 Bring gifts in accordance with the glitter we wear, 
 
 Pshaiv ! '' Chaff and bran ! Chaff and bran T 
 
 Blown by adversity's winnowing-fan : 
 
 " Asses and dolts ! Crozvs and daivs /" 
 
 Chirping and picking at neighbors' flaws. 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Where, I wonder, is Hector Murray, 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Well, I declare ! there's a terrible flurry. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 67 
 
 For fear that love has taken to stihs, 
 And gone, leaving naught behind but a jilt. 
 'Tis lamentable, to think these frisky lovers, 
 Should GO early in life be weaned from their mothers ; 
 And the " milk of human kindness " steal 
 From neighboring homes, and intoxicated reel 
 On the very verge of bliss and despair ! 
 Honesty's a beggar, and piety is rare ; 
 But o'er the whole world is " Vanity Fair," 
 Where youth, and old age furrowed by care, 
 Will " trip the light fantastic toe " 
 When gifts are bought with a lover's coo. 
 (Alice and ] kck join the g2iests?) 
 (Parson Green cofwerses zvith Capitola.) 
 'parson green : 
 I think, my friend, from what I hear, 
 You're embracing too liberal notions, I fear. 
 
68 FROTH AXD FOAM. 
 
 About the monkey preceding the man, 
 Indorsed by this Darwinian clan. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 In the higher philosophy, a better truth's known, 
 
 Than of creating a woman out of a bone; 
 
 Nor do I believe in a sudden transition. 
 
 Where man took from dust an immaculate condition. 
 
 PARSOX GREEX : 
 
 This is a serious subject, you know ; 
 I hope with years your wisdom will grow. 
 You'll find in closely reading God's word. 
 This theory of yours is simply absurd ; 
 For God controls these sudden transitions 
 Without either law or condition. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 Twas a sudden thing. Lot's wife turned to salt. 
 And I think, some seem to deem it a tault ; 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 69 
 
 When 'twas only a hint of woman's worth, 
 
 For man to know she was the '' salt of the earth." 
 
 JACK : 
 
 If love is really the salt of life, 
 
 What an immensity of love Lot found in one wife I 
 
 And still, with all this quantity of bliss, 
 
 Did he never lone to oro amiss, 
 
 But found this pillar of rest to be 
 
 Not only his salt, but his affinity ? 
 
 And felt well-preserved through his earthly career ? 
 
 If so, he was a rare exception. I fear. 
 
 PARSON GREEN : 
 
 You're trifling with a serious question. 
 
 TACK : 
 Well, 'tis so ; I'll nake the confession. 
 Yo2L trifled ivitJi love — is that your profession ? 
 But then, I suppose, 'tis an age of progression ; 
 
70 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 We wing- our flight from tropical climes 
 
 And don our crarments to suit the times ; 
 
 We wear our creeds with a sober face, 
 
 And "crow" at the proper time and place ; 
 
 We plead for our sins to be abolished, 
 
 While Satan walks in, and knaves get the polish. 
 
 PARSON GREEN : 
 
 W-hy — really — 'tis ridiculous sir ! 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I handle no subject with gloves of fur : 
 And, although a person may demur, 
 Wisdom may lie in the breast of a cur, 
 And is apt to bite all meddlers, you know, — 
 Have you ever found it so ? 
 
 PARSON GREEN (aiigrtly) : 
 Yo2i, sir, are taking great liberty to-day : 
 You young stripling ; who arc y oil, I pray ! 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 71 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I'm a reincarnation of Solomon, they say, 
 Sent upon earth to keep fools at bay : 
 Seven times on earth, I've been, 
 Once a Pope, then a peddler of tin ; 
 I was once a lad, an aspiring youth, 
 Attempting to hold the banner of truth. 
 When a gust swept up from, the torrid zone — - 
 'Twas a furious tempest, a young cyclone ; 
 And truth came down with vice on a level. 
 And in a twinkling, everything went to the devil. 
 I once was born, to preach and to pray : 
 'Twas not so easily done in that day; 
 For then, you see, 'twas not the fashion 
 For piety to wink and bow to passion. 
 But sin has taken long strides, I perceive, 
 And the virtuous soul is greatly deceived ; 
 
72 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 For the " face of the times " has winks and bhnks 
 
 That might have puzzled any sphinx; 
 
 And the " beasts " do howl in louder tones, 
 
 " Holy, most holy !" around the throne. 
 
 *' Hast thou eyes of flesh, or dost thou see 
 
 *' As man seeth ?" Is the spirit free 
 
 To thrust itself at the throne of grace 
 
 With its beastly thoughts wTitten on its face ? 
 
 Shall God be mocked with this howl, 'tis said, 
 
 That " fools rush in where angels fear to tread." 
 
 Begone ! Ye traitors who come from your lairs. 
 
 To grapple at the garments His Majesty w^ears. 
 
 Art thou " dead to the world ?" and yet hast thou, 
 
 Being dead, an appetite ? I trow 
 
 Thou dost fatten on the morsels of sin, 
 
 And smack the lips when vice begins 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 73 
 
 Its sumptuous feasts. False prophet, begone f 
 
 Thou dost not to the fold of the Great Shepherd belong. 
 
 (Parson Green steals Imrriedly from the room.) 
 
 JACK {calling after him) : 
 Guess you're right about this sudden transition 
 
 Without either law or condition ; 
 
 For the strangest thing — I can but laugh — 
 
 When I see a man titrn into a calf. 
 
 SCENE in: 
 
 Alice Reading a Letter from Hector Murray. 
 ALICE {reading) : 
 My dearly loved and cherished friend, 
 It almost breaks my heart to send 
 This message ; but love is choked by pride, 
 /, having been so mortified 
 
74 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 At the treatment I received 
 
 While serenading the other eve 
 
 At your windoiv. O, hoi^' Fve sighed. 
 
 At .the thoughts of losing my promised bride ; 
 
 Btit so it must be ; I leave here to-morrozv. 
 
 But Alice, I leave less in anger than sorrozu, 
 
 For your image still haiuits me by day and by night— 
 
 ' Tiuill be long ere pride and reason can blight 
 
 The szueet love that to me zvas a foretaste of Heaven. 
 
 And nozu, Alice, farezuell I I trust I have given 
 
 A sufficie?it excuse for my absence. O never 
 
 Shall I see thee again / Farezuell, forever / 
 
 ALICE {sobbing) : 
 O, Hector / O, dear / 'Twill break my heart ! 
 What is it that caused him to say we must part; 
 O, what shall I do ! What is it he means : — 
 His pride chokes his love, he writes ; it seems 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 75 
 
 The trouble dates from the serenade : 
 Why did he not come and explain. I'm afraid 
 I never shall see him again ! 'Tis so queer — 
 O, my dear Hector : Oh / O dear ! 
 
 Enter Capitola. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 Why, what is the matter ! Alice, you're crying ! 
 What is it that's happened to cause such sighing ? 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 O, Cap, 'tis terrible ! just read what he's written. 
 Enter Jack. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Halloo ! what's the matter, Alice, got the mitten ? 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 Don't hector her. Jack! for once in your life 
 Just bridle your tongue. 
 
76 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 'Twoiild cause a great strife 
 'Twixt mind and matter ; don't Jicctor her. heigh ? 
 Can she ever be Hccto?'ed 2igmn, pray? 
 Bridle my tongue about the loss of a bridal 
 That throws love off the matrimonial saddle ! 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Why — Jack ! How did you know 
 About this trouble : 
 
 JACK : 
 
 About your beau ? 
 ''Heigh, diddle, diddled the " fat's in the fire " 
 When you turn the damper of a lover's ire ! 
 'Tis a terrible thing to trip one's fancy, 
 When it capers in moonshine around its "Miss Nancy." 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 77 
 
 CAPITOL A : 
 
 Now what in the world have you done, Jack ? 
 You've surely been playing some of your pranks ! 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I'll say to women who wish to learn, 
 And on the rostrum take their turn 
 At the A-B-C's of the wedded school, 
 To take the sage advice of a fool. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 Now Jack, do tell — 
 
 JACK : 
 
 Girls, keep cool ! 
 And I'll tell you how to make love by rule. 
 
 CAPITOLA : 
 
 Now Jack, you torment, stop that talk, 
 And tell us what — 
 
78 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 What I know about chalk ? 
 I'd rather tell what I know about Cupid, 
 It's more to the point, and not so stupid ; 
 So I'll take up the thread of my discourse- 
 I speak not from experience, of course ; 
 Life's great farce, has been, God knows, 
 Played much too long, by Heaven's foes. 
 Who strut in mimicry of marriage-rites. 
 Emblazoned before Lucifer's foot-lights. 
 The oath is taken — the farce is o'er — 
 Spare me girls, from telling more — 
 Only this, one thing is certain. 
 The play goes on behind the enrtaiu ; 
 Not much of a farce, or a harmless ruse. 
 But in good earnest they ''play the dencc !' 
 Of course, the two having no affinity, 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 79 
 
 Vengeance is sworn on some harmless divinity, 
 
 And they are sure no parson existed 
 
 Who could have tied or otherwise twisted, 
 
 The gordian-knot for Adam and Eve 
 
 At the time that Satan came to deceive. 
 
 They twist and turn all moral questions, 
 
 'Till their conscience is warped with the devil's sug 
 
 Couldn't the wedding ceremony be revised, [gestion: 
 
 And given something in this wise ? 
 
 I take this man on probation, forsooth, 
 
 I might perhaps find him very uncouth ; 
 
 And then if not tied by a Dr. of divinity, 
 
 I'd have a clear range after my affinity. 
 
 I take this woman to be my wife, 
 
 So lono- as she brines me the sunshine of life : 
 
 But in sickness, I think, I must cast her aside. 
 
 And find me a fresher and a healthier bride. 
 
80 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 (Alice and Capitola tiij'ji to leave the rooin^ 
 Dont leave the room in disgust, girls, 
 Your dutiful brother would not for the world 
 The secret keep, and your tempers wrangle. 
 Lest love mio-ht be in a bio^Qrer tano^le. 
 'Twas a little mistake — a harmless ruse, 
 That has so unluckily " played the deuce ;" 
 'Twas simply this, I made a mistake, 
 And baptized, instead of 2. parson., a rake. 
 That is, you know, I'm only a beginner, 
 And hardly know which is the biggest sinner : 
 They've both been sprinkled from some unknown 
 One with love, and the other with water; [quarter. 
 But for the life of me, I could not tell 
 Which of the two would best save from hell. 
 According to my notion, there's too much strife 
 About literal thinas, and the "water of life " 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 81 
 
 Alone can save the soul, I ween, 
 And cleanse it from all earthly sin. 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 Who cares for theories, tell what you know — 
 
 JACK : 
 
 'Tis less of religion, and more about beaux \ 
 
 'Tis the way of the world ; — cut off the spires 
 
 That loom up far above the mire 
 
 Of earthly treasures ; bring all on a level 
 
 With things which belong to the "flesh and the devil." 
 
 And here I would say, (I'll speak in a whisper, 
 
 Lest some might hear and receive a blister). 
 
 That wedlock is commonly getting to be 
 
 Rather a rusty lock, I see, 
 
 And many a thief breaks through and steals 
 
 The orlitterino- charms that love reveals. 
 
82 FROTH AXD FOAM. 
 
 Enter HectC'K Murray : 
 
 HECTOR : 
 
 My darling Alice ! Can you ever forgive? 
 
 ALICE : 
 
 O, Hector \ How could you leave — 
 
 JACK : 
 
 How could you Hector, hector and live, 
 While putting- love through such a fine sieve. 
 
 HECTOR {embracing Alice): 
 I'll never leave thee again, sweet flower, 
 I need thy presence every hour. 
 
 JACK : 
 
 I need thee, Susan, every hour, 
 To sew on the buttons, and knead the flour, 
 To wash, and bake, and scrub, and scour, 
 And to love with a Saint's angelic power. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 83 
 
 HECTOR : 
 
 O what a cruel thing I've done ! 
 
 Were these sad tears for me, sweet one ? 
 
 JACK. 
 
 Love might soon have lost its savor, 
 
 In losing salt for your behavior. 
 
 Love, like the sun's warm rays at eve. 
 
 Soon grows pale ; and moonlight rays weave 
 
 Only a shroud ! Grief sobs but an hour ; 
 
 Then like dew upon the flower, 
 
 When the sun's warm rays doth kiss. 
 
 It dries it's tears, and revels in bliss. 
 
 Ah ! sorrow doth dimple and sparkle all over, 
 
 W^hen touched by some electric quiver ; 
 
 From whence it comes, I cannot settle, 
 
 But the heart must contain some very good mettle 
 
84 FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 Copper and zinc, — but wait a spell, 
 
 Wliere's the sulphuric-acid, could Lucifer tell ? 
 
 We read in the Bible the sacred truth, 
 
 That should be pondered by every youth, 
 
 Whom God hath joined, let none put asunder ; 
 
 And I often ask, and often wonder, 
 
 How many are joined by the Father above, 
 
 How many are really innnerscd In love ; 
 
 Multitudes seem to be sprinkled yN'\\}i\ bliss, 
 
 Where the knot is tied with smiles and a kiss ; 
 
 And there scores of matches made below, 
 
 And they always savor of brimstone, you know. 
 
 I'm but a lad, not versed in lore. 
 
 Like many of the mighty men of three-score, 
 
 Who lone have drank from the flowinor bowl 
 
 Of lo^ic, reason, and the delicrht of the soul, — 
 
 Which is love poured in for a little flavor, 
 
Confound it ! I've only an awktvard muse 
 To sing my apologies and excttse. 
 
FROTH AND FOAM. 85 
 
 Which season's philosophy with a heavenly savor. 
 But I've read the thoughts which sages sing, [things \ 
 , About Psyche and the soul, psychology and such 
 And I've in my mind most firmly rooted, 
 A truth which cannot well be scouted : — 
 That the lover clothed in philosophy's robe, 
 Makes life a farce, and love a hoax ; 
 For logic will step on the skirts of bliss, 
 And smack it's lips for love's sweet kiss ; 
 Then suddenly scoff and turn on it's heel, 
 Just as heaven has deigned to set its seal. 
 Therefore, as I'm a seeker for truth, 
 I'll try and bury the dreams of youth ; 
 (Confound it ! I've only an awkward muse 
 To sing my apologies and excuse 
 For being a bachelor); 'twill do no good ! 
 I want it distinctly tmderstood, 
 
8G FROTH AND FOAM. 
 
 For women to sue ! in my plain way, 
 My words shall ever be, nay, nay ! 
 Pardon me, if I fail to smother 
 All human feelings under the cover 
 Of reason, righteousness, and of truth ; 
 The heart holds to humanity, forsooth 
 I'd little rather 'twould be my lot, 
 But Paul says, we'd better not. 
 
 THE END. 
 
MARION; 
 
 OR 
 
 The dawninq Lioht, 
 
 MARY S. ROWLEY. 
 
 FOR SALE BY 
 
 J. B. LIPPINCOTT CO. 
 
 715 Market St., Philadelphia. 
 

 
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