PRICE 15 CENTS PS 3523 .144 R3 1915 Copy 1 Rather Rough on Robert ^^^ I ^ s j^^^^^^^^^^^^^^,,, ]. W. Lincoln, and )ames Montgomery rJ POBLISHING CO Successful Rural Plays A Strong List From Which to Select Your Next Play FABM FOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur i-EWis Tubes. For five male and six female characters. Time of playing, two hours and a half. One simple exterior, two easy interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Flora Goodwin, a farmer's daughter, is engaged to Philip Burleigh, a young New Yorker. Philip's mother wants him to marry a society woman, and by falsehoods makes Flora believe Philip does not love her. Dave Weston, who wants Flora himself, helps the deception by intercepting a letter from Philip to Flora. She agrees to marry Dave, but on the eve of their marriage Dave confesses, Philip learns the truth, and he and Flora are reunited. It is a simple plot, but full of speeches and situations that sway an audience alternately to tears and to laughter. Price, 25 cents. HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur Lewis Tubes. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two hours and a half. Scene, a simple interior — same for all four acts. Costumes, modern. One of the strongest plays Mr. Tubbs has written. Martin Winn's wife left him when his daughter Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son of the man who has wronged Martin, makes love to Ruth Winn. She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. When Martin discovers who Harold is, he orders him to leave Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis- covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lost him also. Then he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. Price 25 cents. THE OLD HEW HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New England Drama in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For seven males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich in humor. Easy to act and very effective. A rural drama of the "Old Homstead" and "Way Down East" type. Two ex- terior scenes, one interior, all easy to set. Full of strong sit- uations and delightfully humorous passages. The kind of a play everybody understands and likes. Price, 25 cents. THE OliD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four fernales. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex- terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer's niece, who^e tiusband he claims to be. Her escapes from the wiles of th^ villain and his female accomplice are both starting and noveU,. 'Price, 15 cents. A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in Five Acts, by Charles Town^end. For seven males and four females, and three supers. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a country lad, twice saves the life of a banker's daughter, which results in their betrothal. A scoundrelly clerk has the banker in his power, but the White Mountain boy finds a way to check- mate his schemes, saves the banker, and wins the girl. Price 15 cents. THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY PHILADELPHIA Rather Rough on Robert A Farce in One Act By J. W. LINCOLN, and JAMES MONTGOMERY Authors of "Putting it Over on Father " PHILADELPHIA THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 1915 Copyright 191 5 by The Penn Publishing Company CI,D 41856 Rather Rough on Robert SEP 28 1915 9^mf Rather Rough on Robert CHARACTERS Robert Wallace , . , a popular play writer Jack Hart .... a friend of the Wallaces Mrs. Wallace . . . . who loves a joke Mrs. Simpkins . . . President of the Shakespeare Society for the Uplift of the Drajna Boy ...... from the tailor shop Time.— Thirty minutes. NOTE This play is published for amateur use only. Professionals may use it only with the consent of the author, who may be addressed in care of the publishers. STORY OF THE PLAY Robert Wallace, a popular play writer, has packed all his clothes for a journey and is wearing his wife's skirt until the tailor sends back his suit. Mrs, Simpkins, president of a club **for the uplift of the drayma'' and a gushing admirer of his plays, mistakes him for the maid. Rather than con- fess his predicament Wallace acts the part. Mrs. Wallace and Jack Hart, a mischievous friend, keep up the joke, and make the supposed maid dance attendance. But when the suit finally comes Robert turns the tables cleverly on the jokers. COSTUMES, ETC. Wallace. About thirty. At rise of curtain appears dressed in shirt, collar and tie, and a woman's skirt. Dur- ing play he puts on a woman's dressing sacque and an im- provised turban, posing as a maid. Afterward appears in ordinary afternoon suit, with hat and gloves. Hart. About thirty. Well dressed in business suit, with hat and light overcoat. Mrs. Wallace. Twenty-five. Street suit and hat. Mrs. Simpkins. Fifty. Elegantly dressed for the street. Carries lorgnette and a book. PROPERTIES Wallace. Woman^s dressing sacque, tidy or scarf, knit- ting, with needles, yarn, etc., tray with pitcher of lemonade and four glasses, box of cigars, mustard-pot, vinegar cruet, salt and pepper shakers, tumbler. Hart. Manuscript, package of letters tied up, poker chips. Mrs. Simpkins. Lorgnette, book, wrist watch. Boy. Pasteboard box, containing a freshly pressed suit ; box tied up with string. SCENE PLOT Interior Backing ooon SCENE — Sitting-room of the Wallace flat. Door wnth portieres up c. leads to hallway, door r. to bedroom, door L. to dining-room. Bookcase with books up r. Table and telephone up r. c. Sofa down r. Small table down r. c. Chair near screen L. On this chair are a short dressing sacque and a tidy or scarf. Desk down l. Waste-basket under or near desk. Rather Rough on Robert SCENE, — Livifig-room m the fashionable apartment of the Wallaces. Entrances^ r., l. and c (JSee See 7ie Plot.) Robert Wallace (jvithout). Adeline! Adeline! (^Efiters, R. He is dressed in wife's skirt which reaches only to Wallace's ankles » Above this are his shirt, collar and necktie.^ Adeline! Adeline! Are the trunks gone yet? Hasn't the tailor sent back my suit ? (^Looks around the room. Runs his hands through his hair.~) Great Scott ! Whtre has she gone ? {Sinks into chair by the table.) Well, 1 can't sit here all day, dolled up like a suffragette on parade in this old skirt of Adeline's. {Goes up r. to table. Siis down and lifts receiver of telephone.) Main 1350. Williams' Tailoring Shop? This is Mr. Wallace. When are you going to send back the suit 1 ordered to be cleaned ? . . . Right away? . . . Well, make it snappy. , I'm going away this afternoon and all my other clothes are packed up and the trunks are gone. I've got nothing to wear but It's none of your business what I'm wearing ! {Slams down receiver. Door -bell ri?tgs. He springs from chair. ) Suf- fering cats! What's that? {Glances wildly about room. Bell rings again. Speaks loudly.') There's no one home. ( Claps hand over mouth.) Gad ! Why didn't I keep quiet ? What an ass I am— and that's nothing to what I look. Mks. Simpkins {without^ c). Is this Mr. Wallace's apartment ? Wallace. Yes ! No ! {He dashes L. to screen. Mrs. S. peeps through portieres, looking R, Wallace fum bles at knob of door, l. Gives up attempt to open it and, seizing a short dressing sacque and a tidy which are on back of chair up L., darts behind screen. Enter, c, Mrs. S., haughtily, and surveys aparfme7tt through lorgnette. Wallace meaniiDhile is seen beJiind screen frantically taking off collar, putting on sacque and 5 6 RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT tying around waist. He fashions a ttirban fro77i tidy and puts on heady a long end hanging down his back. He dives into a pocket iii the sac que and fishes out some knittings staring at it.) Mrs. S. Ahem ! Ahem ! (Wallace comes from be- hind screen. Mrs. S. surveys him through lorg7iette.) Is Mr. Wallace in ? Wallace. Yes, I'm — er — er {Looks down at skirt and coughs.) Mrs. S. {coming down r.). Oh, you are Mr. Wallace's maid ? Of course. Is Mr. Wallace in ? Wallace {aghast). Mr. Wallace's maid ! {He looks at skirt, adopting a feminine voice which he uses through sketch, except when he forgets it.) Oh, yes — yes, ma'am. Mr. Wallace's maid. {Affects a sickly grin and attempts to knit.) Mrs. S. {severely). I asked you if Mr. Wallace were in? Wallace {down l., continui?ig to knit). Yes. No. That is, he will be back. He's just stepped out to get a drink — 1 should say he's just stepped out, ma'am. Stepped out — stepped out — stepped out. {Knits furiously and sticks his finger with knitting needle, ) Doggone ! {Sucks finger. Mrs. S. shocked.) Excuse me, ma'am. I get so in the habit of hearing Mr. Wallace that— Mrs. S. 1 hear that stage people swear dreadfully. Geniuses are so full of temperament. My husband never swears. {Sighs a7id looks up.) Tell me, have you been with Mr. Wallace long? Wallace. For thirty years — er — er — ma'am. {Enter Mrs. Wallace a7id Jack Hart, c. They stand i7t the doorway, aghast for the mo77iefit, barely restrai7iing their laughter duri7ig e7isui7ig actio7i.) Mrs. S. How extraordinary and how interesting ! Then you knew him as a baby and as a boy. You saw him blos- som into youth and into young manhood. You saw his genius straining at the leash and bursting forth. How attached you must be to him ! RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT 7 (Wallace has again been knitting furiously. Sticks him- self with needle and pops finger i?ito his mouth. Mrs. W. hides her face in kerchief and Yip^Ki stuffs portiere into his mouth as he capers madly, ^ Wallace. I never was so attached to any one in my life— er — er— naa'am ! Mrs. S. How touching. And what a lot Mr. Wallace must think of you-— er — er— what is your name ? Wallace. Rob— Roberta, (Mrs. W. whispers to Hart, points to Wallace and Mrs. S. He nods and stuffs portiere ifito his ?nouth again,) Mrs. S. {smiling graciously). And what is it you are knitting, Roberta? Wallace {holding up knitting a?id examining it, frown- ing). Doggoned if I ■— — ■ (Mrs. S. regards him severely throicgh lorgnette. Hart capers and chews at portiere.) Oh, excuse me, ma'am, Mr. Wallace does use such lan- guage. It's one of those — »er—er— doo-dads for Belgian soldiers. Mrs. S. It looks to me like a baby cap. Wallace, A baby cap ? Mrs. S. Yes. I said it looked like a baby cap. Wallace. Oh, yes, of course. A cap for Belgian sol- diers' babies. They have such cute babies^ you know. Mrs. S, Has Mr. Wallace a ba — (Mrs. W. gives Hart a little push forward. He goes down i..^ followed by Mrs, W.) Hart. Pardon me, madam, you wished to see me ? Mrs. S. (turning). Oh, you are Mr. Wallace, of course. The Mr. Wallace. (She rushes to him, takes Jmn by both hafidSf maki?ig him drop hat and coat.) I've so longed to meet the author of ** Phyllis' Purple Purity " and **The Unleashing of Woman." {Holds up book.) How your plays have thrilled me, Mr. Wallace ! So strong and yet so chaste, so broad and yet so exquisitely subtle. (Wallace goes up l.) Hart {looking up and clasping hands). Such appre- 8 RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT elation ! {Looks around toward Wallace. ) So rarely do I meet one who so thoroughly understands me (Wallace shakes fist^ as you do, my dear Mrs. — Mrs. Mrs. S. (c). Simpkins, President of the Shakespeare Society for the Uplift of the Drayma. Hart. Oh, the Mrs. Simpkins ! I hav@ heard of you so often, and your Society for the Uplift of the — er— what did you say ? Mrs. S. The drayma. Hart. How stupid of me, the drayma. Oh, yes, of course, the drayma. And now, Mrs. Simpkins, allow me to present to you the dearest little cricket — er — er — 1 mean critic in the world, Mrs. Wallace. (Mrs. W. comes down r. c.) She criticizes all my plays before 1 send them to my traducers — er — I mean producers. Her help is invaluable. While I write, she stands beside me, guiding my hand. Don't you, dear? (Wallace expresses disgust and crosses up R.) Mrs. W. \faintly). Yes, oh, yes. Hart. You may call me dear as usual ; Mrs. Simpkins won't mind. To my sweet little wife 1 owe all the success I have attained. {Bows to Mrs. W. and pats her shoulder, Mrs. S. boivs to her and she retur?is bow in bewildered manner as she withdraws a little from Hart. Wallace, behind Mrs. S., is shaking his fist at Hart, who winks at Jiini and draws Mrs. W. to him.) Mrs. W. Oh, Jack ! Mrs. S. Jack? Isn't this Mr. Robert Wallace I am speaking to ? Hart. Oh, Jack is just a little pet name. Sort of short for jackass, I'm afraid. She calls me that when I praise her as she deserves. Don't you, dearest? Mrs. W. {faintly). Yes — dear. (Wallace capers with rage and sticks himself with knitting needles,^ Mrs. S. How lovely ! What a privilege it must be, dear Mrs. Wallace, to be the constant companion of so brilliant a man as Mr. Wallace. RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT 9 (Hart looks down a?id smiles modestly, Wallace raises his clenched fists and groa7is,^ Mrs. W. But won't you sit down, Mrs. Simpkins? (Mrs. S. and Mrs. W. seat themselves on sofa dow?t r.) Jack, won't you get Mrs. Simpkins a glass of lemonade? 1 know she would like one— and I should, too. Hart (c). Robert, my dear, or I shall think you are still provoked at me for telling Mrs. Simpkins what a sweet, brainy little person you are. Mrs. W. Oh, very well, Robert. Hart {to Wallace). Roberta, bring the lemonade. (Wallace glares at him. Business of conversation bet^veen Mrs. S. and Mrs. W. j The poor old dear must be getting deaf! {Raises voice.) Roberta, bring the lemonade. (Wallace shakes fist at him then starts to exity L, He sticks Hart with ?ieedle, H. art Jumps, Wallace stum- bles over Hart's coat a?id hat lyi?ig on floor, l., givi?ig hat a kick,^ Roberta, put my hat and coat on that chair, if — you — -please. (Wallace //V/^i" tip hat and coat, givi?ig the hat a vicious punch, and flings them 071 chair down L. Exit, l. Hart, aside, grins.) Something must have gotten on Roberta's nerves. Tut, tut, tut. Such a nasty temper — such a very nasty temper. Mrs. S. Oh, Mr. Wallace, Mrs. Wallace has just been telling me about the new play you have written. I do wish you would read it before our society. It would be so up- lifting, so helpful. Hart. Nothing would give me greater pleasure {enter Wallace, l., with tray, pitcher and four glasses. He goes up c, and stands fnenacing Hart in pantoini^ne), my dear Mrs. Simpkins — than to read my new play before your very intelligent and cultured society. (Aside,) I hope the play's typewritten. Mrs. W. But — but, dear, we are going away this after- noon, you remember. (Wallace ^r/V/i-.) Hart. Oh, we'll have plenty of time for the reading. And we mustn't disappoint Mrs. Simpkins, even if we have to catch a later train, must we, dear ? Mrs. W. {icily). Of course not, — dear. (Wallace groans and rattles glasses.) 10 RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT Hart. You may bring the lemonade here, Robertae (Wallace comes down, and as he passes aims a kick at UkRT^s shin but misses. Hart grtns, W Ai.h ace pours out glasses of lemonade. He hands tray to Mrs. S., to Mrs. W. and to Hart, who take glasses.) Mrs. S. To the new play ! ( They lift glasses to the toast and drink. Wallace fills the fourth glass , and as he starts to take it from the tray, Hart, who has emptied his glass, takes the full glass from Wallace and drinks the cofitents, Wallace clutches an imaginary throat in the air. All this by- play, up c, is unobserved by Mrs. S. and Mrs. W.) Hart. And may I smoke, Mrs. Simpkins ? Mrs. S. Certainly. (Wallace //^/i" tray on table, up r. c.) Hart. Roberta, bring me my cigars. Those imported perfectos. Not the ones I give my friends. Wallace [aside). Fifty dollars a hundred ! Robber! Hart. Hurry, please. (Wallace comes down \.., goes to desk and opens bottom drawer. Hart follows him.) Glad to know where you keep them. (W ali^ace pinches Hart on the leg, which Hart hastily withdraws. Wal- lace straightens up and hands o?ie cigar to Hart. Hart takes it and puts it in his pocket.) The box, please. {Aside,) It isn't often I get a chance at fifty cent perfectos. (Wallace hands him the box. Hart takes four cigars, puts them in his pocket and, taking another, puts it in his mouth. Wallace //^/i" box under his arm. Hart lights the cigar.) Mrs. S. And now tell me about the new play, Mr. Wallace. Hart. Oh, it's merely a light, airy little thing — a trifle of nonsense. (Wallace, l. c, starts and glares at Hart, c. Hart waves his ci^ar airily and Wallace snatches it from him. Wallace puffs on the cigar furtively, watching Mrs. S.) RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT II Mrs. S. Oh, I'm sure it isn't. It's deep and pure and strong and compelling like everything you write. Do tell me about it, Mr. Wallace. I'm just dying to know some- thing of it. What is it called ? Hart. What is it called? Oh — oh, my dear {to Mrs. W., who shakes head ), what did I name it? Something beginning with a B or was it a D? I always name my plays in alphabetical order, and this is the fourth this year, so it must be D. But really, Mrs. Simpkins, 1 write so much that sometimes I forget — wretched memory. Tut, tut ! I am sure it began with a D. Mrs. S. How original ! Won't you get the manuscript and read us a scene or two, dear Mr. Wallace? I have never seen one of your manuscripts, and I should so like to. (Wallace ^^^^x up l. c.) Hart. Certainly, Mrs. Simpkins. {Aside.) If I can read the beastly scrawl. (^To Mrs. W.) Now, my dear, where do you suppose I left that manuscript? Mrs. W. {smiling). I'm sure 1 don't know. Can't you think? Hart. I know — in my desk. {Aside.) A manuscript ought to be in a desk. {He goes over (o desk, L., and rum- mages around. Fulls out a bundle of letters tied ivith blue ribbon and sniffs them.) Love letters ! My dear, your letters to me before we were married. I am half tempted to read some of them to Mrs. Simpkins, she understands us so ! (Wallace, up c. , draws back cigar box as if to hurl it at Hart.) Mrs. W. Don't you dare ! Mrs. S. {simper ingly). Oh, I'd love to hear them. They must be too cute ! Hart {^sighing). They are. {Catches sight of Wal- lace threatening him with cigar box.) Er — perhaps I'd better not. {Replaces the letters and continues rummaging.) My tailor's bill, four months old. I'd better settle that. A dun from the landlord. Some poker chips. (Mrs. W. glances accusingly at Wallace, who appears unconscious.) The manuscript's not here. {Opens desk dratvers and closes them. Tur?is out waste basket o 71 floor. Crosses up r. Goes to bookcase a7id feels behind books. Wallace looks 12 RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT 071 with a grin.) I never can remember where I put things, Mrs. Simpkins; wretched memory, wretched. Mrs. S. a sign of genius always, Mr. Wallace. Hart. Roberta, perhaps you know where it is, my latest manuscript, you know. Wallace {in a hollow voice). Look in the table drawer {aside) you blamed idiot ! Hart. Of course. In the table drawer. Why didn't I think of that ? But, Roberta, how hoarse you are ! You must have taken cold. How do you feel? Wallace {between his teeth). Fine — thank — you — sir. Hart. You must take something for that cold, Roberta, really you must. 1 insist on it. 1 know an excellent rem- edy. Bring me some mustard and salt and pepper — red pepper — hot red pepper, Roberta, and a little vinegar. We'll fix you up right aw^ay. Wallace {glari?ig). Please don't bother about me. There's nothing the matter with me. Hart. Oh, yes, there is, Roberta. Now go and get me the salt and the mustard and the vinegar and the pepper — - the reddest and the hottest you can find. (Wallace takes tray from table up r. c, and exit, L., stamping his feet. ) Mrs. S. How kind and considerate you are, Mr. Wal- lace. How grateful Roberta should be. Hart {cofning dow7i c). She is grateful, Mrs. Simp- kins. She'd do anything in the world with me. She'd walk through fire, almost, for me, wouldn't she, dearest? Mrs. W. I'm sure she would, dear. {Smiles at him.) Mrs. S. How touching a sight is a faithful old servant. (Wallace appears in the doorway, l., with tray fit II of mustard^ etc. Glares horribly at Hart and shakes his Jisl.) Hart {smiling at him). Yes, yes. Touching, most touching. We really feel that Roberta is almost one of the family. (Wallace crosses r. to table a?td tries to stamp on Hart's toe in passing. Hart draiDs tip his foot fust in time. Wallace slams tray down on table. Hart draws table c. ; mixes ingredients in glass, which he holds toward RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT I3 Wallace.) Here now, take this, Roberta. It will make you feel more like yourself. (^He offers Wallace the glass. ^ Wallace (r. c). I'm all right. 1 don't need any- thing, thank you — sir. Hart (c). Yes, you do, Roberta. Take it. Wallace (/;/ low tone). I'll die first. Hart. I'm surprised at you, Roberta. After I've gone to all this trouble to make you feel better, you must take it. (Wallace takes the glass ^ sniffs it, makes a horrible face, swallows a little and chokes ^ setting down glass.) Now, how do you feel ? V^ ALLP^C^. (choking). Awful — you— you (Coughs.) Hart. Then you must take another swallow^ Roberta. I know that will take away your hoarseness. Wallace (clutching throat and speaking in a falsetto). Oh, no, thank you, sir. I'm ever so much better. Hart. There, what did I tell you? Now, Mrs. Simp- kins, we'll read a bit from the play. (Wallace, up r., shakes his fist at Hart, who is opening drawer of table and taking out 77ianuscript. Hart conies ■ down L. Door-bell rings. Wallace goes to door and opens it, disclosijig Messenger Boy.) Boy. Suit for Mr. Wallace. From Williams' Tailor Shop. (Hands suit done up in paper box,) Wallace. Right. (Takes box. Exit Boy. Wallace shuts door.) Hart (downi..). Who's that, Roberta? Wallace {starting tozvard bedroo?n door, R.). The tailor's boy with my — your suit, sir. Hart. All right. Set it down on the table. (Points up R. Business of ladies conversing.) Wallace. I — I was going to take it to your room, sir. Hart. Leave it right there, Roberta, where I can keep my eye on it. I'm afraid I'll forget it. Wallace. Yes, sir. (Puts box down on table, up r. c, and shakes fist at Hart, who grins at him. Hart sits L. ; twists manuscript back and forth, turns it over,) 14 RATHER ROUGH ON ROBERT Hart. Let's see, where shall 1 begin ? The light's bad here. (J^ises and comes down L., holding manuscript as though to the light. His back is toward Wallace, who takes box from table and quietly slips suit out of it, keeping his eye on Hart. He lays empty box back on table?) Mrs. S. Oh, read anywhere, Mr. Wallace. (Hart is still fumbling over manuscript. Wallace quietly opens door^ R. , drops the suit into the bedroom a?id closes the door, }:iki. S., c, followed by Wallace. Wallace's ^^^r^ immediately reappears through the portieres.) Wallace. Ta-ta, children. If you need anything ring for — Roberta. {Laughs and exit.) curtain Unusually Good Entertainments Read One or More of These Before Deciding on Your Next Program GRADIJATION DAY AT WOOD HILI. SCHOOL. An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six males and four females, with several minor parts. Time of playing, two hours. Modern costu.mi2S. Simple interior scenes; may be presented in a hall without scenerj^. The unusual com- bination of a real ''entertainment," including music, recitations, etc., with an interesting love story. The graduation exercises include short speeches, recitations, songs, funny interruptions, and a comical speech by a country school trustee. Price, 15 cents. EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight male and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos- tumes, modern. Miss Marks, the teacher, refuses to marry a trustee, who threatens to discharge her. The examination in- cludes recitations and songs, and brings out many funny answers to questions. At the close Robert Coleman, an old lover, claims the teacher. Very easy and very effective. Price, 15 cents, BACK TO THE COIJNTBY STORE. A Rural Enter- tainment in Three Acts, by Ward Macauley. For four male and five female characters, with some supers. Time, two hours. Two scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with- out scenery. Costumes, modern. All the principal parts are sure hits. Quigley Higginbotham, known as "Quig," a clerk in a country store, aspires to be a great author or singer and decides to try his fortunes in New York. The last scene is in Quig's home. He returns a failure but is offered a partnership in the country store. He pops the question in the midst of a surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. Price, 15 cents. THE DISTRICT CONITENTIOM. A Farcical Sketch in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one female, or twelve males. Any number of other parts or super- numeraries may be added. Plays forty-five minutes. No special Jscenery is required, and the costumes and properties are all easy. The play shows an uproarious political nominating con- vention. The climax comes when a woman's rights cham- pion, captures the convention. There is a gre-at chance to bur- lesque modern politics and tO work in local gags. Every part will make a hit. Price, 15 Cents. SI SLOCUM'S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. Plays one hour. Interior scene, or may be played without set scenery. Costumes, modern. The rehearsal for an entertain- ment in the village church gives plenty of opportunity for specialty work. A very jolly entertainmmit of the sort adapted to almost any place or occasion. Price, 15 cents. THE PENN PUBUSHING COMPANY PHILADELPHIA Unusually Good Entertainments Read One or More of These Before Deciding on Your Next Program A SURPRISE PARTY AT BRINKLEY'S. An En- tertainment in One Scene, by Ward Macauley. Seven male and seven female characters. Interior scene, or may be given with- out scenery. Costumes, modern. Time, one hour. By the author of the popular successes, ^'Graduation Day at Wood Hill School," ''Back to the Country Store," etc. The villagers have planned a birthday surprise party for Mary Brinkley, recently graduated from college. They all join in jolly games, songs, conundrums, etc., and Mary becomes engaged, which surprises the surprisers. The entertainm.ent is a sure success. Price, 15 cents* JONES VS. JINKS. A Mock Trial in One Act, by Edward Mumford. Fifteen male and six female characters, with supernumeraries if desired. May be played all male. Many of the parts (members of the jury, etc.) are small. Scene, a simple interior ; may be played without scenery. Costumes, modern. Time of playing, one hour. This mock trial has many novel features, unusual characters and quick action. Nearly every character has a funny entrance and laughable lines. There are criany rich parts, and fast fun throughout. Price, 15 cents. THE SIGHT-SEEING OAR. A Comedy Sketch in One A.ct, by Ernest M. Gould. For seven males, two females, or may be all male. Parts may be doubled, with quick changes, so that four persons may play the sketch. Time, forty-five minutes. Simple street scene. Costumes, modern. The superintendent of a sight-seeing automobile engages two men to run the machine. A Jew, a farmer, a fat lady and other humorous characters give them all kinds of trouble. This is a regular gat- ling-gun stream of rollicking repartee. Price, 15 cents, THE CASE OF SMYTHE VS. SMITH. An Original Mock Trial in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eighteen males and two females, or may be all male. Plays about one hour. Scene, a county courtroom ; requires no scenery ; may be played in an ordinary hall. Costumes, modem. This entertainment is nearly perfect of its kind, and a sure success. It can be easily produced in any place or on any occasion, and provides almost any number of good parts. Price, 15 cents. '' THE OL® MAIDS' ASSOCIATION. A Farcical Enter-| tainment in One Act, by Louise Latham Wilson. For thirteen females and one male. The male part may be played by a female, and the number of characters increased to twenty or more. Time, forty minutes. The play requires neither scenery nor properties, and very little in the way of costumes. Can easily be prepared in one or two rehearsals. Price, 25 cents. BARGAIN BAY AT BI^OOMSTEIN'S. A Farcical Entertainment in One Act, by Edward Mumford. For five males and ten females, with supers. Interior scene. Costumes, mod- ern. Time, thirty minutes. The characters and the situations which arise from their endeavors to buy and sell make rapid-fire fun from start to finish. Price, 15 cents. THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY PHILADELPHIA Successful Plays for All Girls In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List YOUNG DOCTOR BEVINE, A Farce in Two Acts, by Mrs. E. J. H. Goodfellow. One of the most popular plays for girls. For nine female characters. Time in playing, thirty minutes. Scenery, ordinary interior. Mod- ern costumes. Girls in a boarding-school, learning that a young doctor is coming to vaccinate all the pupils, eagerly con- sult each other as to the manner of fascinating the physician. "When the doctor appears upon the scene the pupils discover that the physician is a female practitioner. Price, 15 cents. SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank DuMONT. For eleven females. Time, thirt}'- minutes. Costumes, fantastic gowns, or dominoes. Scene, interior. A grand expose of Masonry. Some women profess to learn the secrets of a Masonic lodge by hearing their husbands talk in their sleep, and they institute a similar organization. Price, 15 cents. A COMMANDING POSITION. A Farcical Enter- tainment, by Amelia Sanford. For seven female char- acters and ten or more other ladies and children. Time, one hour. Costumes, modern. Scenes, easy interiors and one street scene. Marian Young gets tired living with her aunt, Miss Skinflint. - She decides to "attain a commanding position." Marian tries hospital nursing, college settlement work and school teaching, but decides to go back to housework. Price, 15 cents. HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For ten female characters. Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy interior. (Costumes, modern. Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it's *'the deepest kind of a secret." Before announcing it they must win the approval of Harold's uncle, now in Europe, or lose a possible ten thousand a year. At a tea Mabel meets her dearest friend. Maude sees Mabel has a secret, she coaxes and Mabel tells her. But Maude lets out the secret in a few minutes to another friend and so the secret travels. Price, 15 cents. THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts, by Josephine H. Cobb and Jennie E. Paine. For eight female characters. Plays one hour and three-quarters. Scenes, inter- iors at a seaside hotel. Costumes, modern. The action of the play is located at a summer resort. Alice Graham, in order to chaperon herself, poses as a widow, and Miss Oxford first claims her as a sister-in-law, then denounces her. The onerous duties of Miss Oxford, who attempts to serve as chaperon to Miss Howe and Miss Ashton in the face of many obstacles, furnish an evening of rare enjoyment. Price 15 cents. THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY PHILADELPHIA i.?.????Y OP CONGRESS The Power of 015 939 853 5 Expression and efficiency go hand i The power of clear and forceful expression brings confi- dence and poise at all times — in private gatherings, in public discussion, in society, in business. It is an invaluable asset to any man or woman. It can often be turned into money, but it is always a real joy. In learning to express thought, we learn to command thought itself, and thought is power. You can have this power if you will. Whoever has the power of clear expression is always sure of himself. The power of expression leads to: The ability to think "on your feet" Successful public speaking Effective recitals The mastery over other minds Social prominence Business success Efficiency in any undertaking Are these things worth while? They are all successfully taught at The National School of Elocution and Oratory, which during many years has de- veloped this power in hundreds of men and women. A catalogue giving full information as to how any of these accomplishments may be attained will be sent free on request. THE NATIONAL SCHOOL OF ELOCUTION AND ORATORY Parkway Building Philadelphia