s* ... -•*■. ^<^..^^ .'}^i^'o Vc/ /,^ife'v ^^..♦^ V^ ' • o s V ^-> A ^ * O « ^ ^-0,^ ^oV^ .^•^•<*> .• ^■?-' f NO PLAY5 EXCHANGED I ■^^^Tv PRICE tS CENT.S' DENISON'S VAUDEVILLE 6 DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS. Prlc* 15 Cent* B««ta, Post|Mdd, Unless Different Price is aiven. COMEDIES, MELODRAMAS, Etc. M. r. All That Glitters is Not Gold, 2acts,2hrs 6 3 Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2y% hrs. 30min 4 5 Aunt Dinah's Pledge, temper- ance, 2 acts, 1 hr 6 3 Beggar Venus, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min (25c) 6 4 Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 9 3 Bonnybell, operetta, 1 hr.(25c) 2 5 Castfe, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min 6 3 Chas. O'Malley'sAunt, 50 min- (25c) 5 8 Chimney Corner, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 min 5 2 ^Consort of Heroines, 3 scenes, 35min 016 Cricket on the Hearth, 3 acts, Ihr. 45min 7 8 Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. . . . 7 4 Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30min (25c) 8 4 Early Vows, 2 acts, 1 hr. (25c) 4 2 Bast Lynne, 5 acts, 2 hrs 8 7 Elma, The Fairy Child, 1 hr. 45 min., operetta (25c) 6 8 Engaged Girl, 3 acts, 30 min.. 2 7 Eulalia, 1 hr. 80 min (25c) 3 6 From Sumter to Appomattox, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. . (25c) 6 2 Fruits of the Wine Qup, tem- perance, 3 acts, 1 hr 6 4 Handy Andy, Irish. 2 acts, 1 hr. 30min 8 3 Home, 3 acts, 2 hrs 4 3 Indiana Man, 4 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 6 4 Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . . (25c) 6 4 It's All in the Pay Streak, 3 acts. Ihr. 45 min (25c) 4 3 Jedediah Judkins, J. P., 4 acts, 2 hr. 30 min i25c) 7 5 Lady of Lyons, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min 8 4 Let Lore But Hold the Key, musical, 1 hr (25c) 2 2 Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2H hM. 15min (25c) 7 4 London Assurance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min 9 3 Losi in London, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 npu 6 3 Louva, the Pauper, 5 acts, 1 hr. 45 min 9 4 Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c)... 5 2 Michael Erie, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 m. 8 3 Miriam's Crime, 3 acts, 2 hrs. . . 6 2 Mitsu-Yu-Nissi, Japanese Wed- ding, 1 hr. 15 min 6 6 Money, 5 acts, 3 hrs 9 3 My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 New Woman, ;j acts, 1 hr 3 6 M. r. Not a Man in the House, 2 acts, 45 min 6 Not Such a Fool as He Looks, 3 acts, 2 hrs 6 8 Odds with the Enemy, 4 acts, 1 hr. 45 m 7 4 Only Daughter (An), 3 acts, 1 hr. 15 min 5 2 On the Brink, temperance, 2 acts, 2 hrs 12 3 Our Boys, 3 acts, 2 hrs 6 4 Our Country, 3 acts, 1 hr 10 3 Ours, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min 6 3 Out in the Streets, temperance, 1 hr. 15min 6 4 Pet of Parson's Ranch, 5 acts, 2 hrs 9 3 Pocahontas, musical burlesque, 2 acts, 1 hr 10 2 School Ma'am (The), 4 acts, 1 hr. 45 min 6 5 Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs 6 6 Sea Drift, 4 acts, 2 hrs 6 2 Seth Greenback, 4 acts, 1 hr. 15 min 7 3 Snowball, 3 acts, 2 hrs 4,3 Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 20 min 8 3 Solon Shingle, 1 hr. 30 min 7 2 Sparkling Cup, temperance, 5 acts, 2 hrs 12 4 Sweethearts, 2 acts, 35 min 2 2 Ten Nights in a Barroom, tem- perance. 5 acts, 2 hrs 7 4 Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 2hrs (25c) 6 4 Ticket of Leave Man, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 45 min 8 3 Tony, the Convict, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min (25c) 7 4 Toodles, 2 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. .. 6 2 Topp'sTwins, 4acts,2hrs.(25c) 6 4 Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 15 min (25c) 8 3 Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 1 hr. 45 min 6 4 Under the Spell, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30min (35c) 7 3 Wedding Trip (The), 2 acts, 1 hr 3 2 Won at Last, 3 adls, 1 hr. 45 min 7 3 Yaokee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 list. T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 163 Ran«iolph St., Chicago. A SUNNY SON OF ITALY AN ITALIAN MONOLOGUE HARRY L. fTEWTON AUTHOR OF 'Breakfast Food for Two," "A Bundle of Bimit Cork Comedy^^^ "A Cold Finish;' ''Doings of a Dude," ^ A Dutch Cocktail, "Fresh Timofiiy Flay," "The Heiress of Hoetown, Glickman the Gla:;ier,"'"Hey, Rube!" "Javville Junction, Marriage and After," "Mr. and Mrs. Fido," "One Szceetheart for Two," "Oshkosh Next Week," "O'Tooles Battle of Ante-Up," "Pickles for Tzvo," "I he Pooh Bah of Peacetown," ''Si and I," "A Special Sale, A Tramp With a Tramp," "The Troubles of Rocinski," "Two Jay Detectives," "Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville," and "Words to the Wise" J9^ CHICAGO T. S. DENISON, Publisher 163 Randolph Street 7y ot CfUNoH£SS< SEP 4 )^0b- A SUNNY SON OF ITALY /for CHARACTER. ^ Tony Macaroni VVhat-a You Knozv About Dat, Eh? Time — About Fifteen Minutes. COSTUME. Rough sack suit, trousers rather short ; large shoes ; blue shirt ; red bandanna handkerchief tied around neck ; black slouch hat; brass rings in ears (can be obtained at any hardware store; cut ring open and fasten over ear) ; black wig; small black mustache or smooth shaven; make-up face dark. COPYRIGHT, 1908, BY T. S. DENISON. ^ , r^ o A SUNNY SO]^ OF ITALY, Tony Macaroni. Ah, I have-a much-a de troub all de time. Dis-a country no much-a de good for Italiano man. Dis United States good for Germans, Jews and de Irish mans. German mans he make-a all de beer ; Jew mans he make-a all de money and de Irish mans he make-a all de politicians and hold all de soft-a snap jobs. Who dis-a America country belong to, eh? He belong to Italiano man. But he no got it. Christo Columbo he found it. Now who got it ? I tell-a you. When Columbo he came here de Indians owned all de land. Den purty soon de Dutch he came along and took it away from de Indians. Den purty soon again de Puritans come along and took all de land from de Dutch. Den purty soon after awhile de Jews come along and dey swipe-a de whole business and dey still got it. What-a you know about dat, eh ? A man he ask-a me what-a was de three greatest races in dis-a country today. I say to him: Irish, Jews and Italiano. He say: "No, sir." He say dat de three greatest races are de American Derby, de Oakland Sweepstakes and de Brooklyn Handicap. What-a you know about dat, eh? Den he say to me if I know Americano history. I say to him yes ; Christo Columbus he discovered America. He laugh, ha, ha ! and say : "Aw, go on ! How could-a he help discover America? America was-a here waiting to be dis- covered." I say maybe so, I think she was. What-a you know about dat, eh? Dis-a country much-a different from It. Dis-a country when a man gets a job in a bank, he has to pass de examin- ^ 3 4 A SUNNY SON OF ITALY. • ish. It is a mistake to examinish him while he is working in a bank, for after de bank goes bust it is too late. Dis-a country have-a much a charity feeling for every- body. If a man is hungry he can go to some millionaire and get a library to read, if he has money enough to pay for a building. If a man he starves to death de city will bury him for nothing. My brud he much-a good stone cutter until panic come, den he become unemployed by a fire from his boss. My brud he would-a been much-a glad to cut-a de stone, but was not required by wages -to still do, thank you ! Bime-by he begin to enjoy much-a hungry feeling in de stomach and he walk twenty-one, twenty-two miles every day look- ing for work, but he no can find no work. One-a day my brud he saw a beautiful much-a sign on a much-a de beau- tiful building. It say : ''Bureau of Organized Charities." "Ah !" my brud say, ''dat listens much-a good to me. I shall-a go in and get-a some kind charity." My brud he go in de grand building, and he see beautiful Italiano marble everywhere much. He saw also a Irishman in blue uniform, who say to my brud. "Your name, please, if-a you have it with-a you !" My brud he tell his "name and de blue man say to him: "What are suffering from, please?" My brud say: "I am enjoying much hunger." "What-a degree of hunger?" asked de blue man. "Thirty-third degree," say my brud, who was-a much sure of it. Den de man say: "Have you a doctor's certifi- cate to prove-a dat you are in dat condition of state of hunger ?" "No," my brud say, "I no-a get de certificate." "Den go and get it," de Irishman say. "Come back two weeks from next Thursday with a doctor's certificate to make-a prove dat you are still hungry and always have-a been ; also references from two, three banks and four clubs dat you are a financially responsible, and den I shall-a see what-a I can do for-a you." Den my brud go out, still with-a his stomach-a making de much-a de holler. He think den he shall join de Bank A SUNNY SON OF ITALY. 5 Burglar's Union and break in a bank — but what-a could he find in a bank nowadays if he did? {Recitation.) HOW COLUMBUS DISCOVERED AMERICA. Christo Columbo he a vera great-a man, He grinds de hand organ and he sell de bum banan ; Till von-a day America it came up to Chris, And America say : "Discover me, oh please do-a this !" So Columbo he make-a up his-a mind, and so he say, say he : "I tink dere is a country way out West and I will go to sea." So he go to Ferdinanda de King of Spain and say : *'I want a thousand dollar and I want it right away." But Ferdinanda he was-a broke, and he feel-a vera blue. So he say : ''Why should I give-a all my good-a coin to you ?" Columbo say : 'T am a discoverer and discover things for fun," Ferdinanda say : ''If you are a discoverer, go and discover de mon." So Columbo bought a dark lantern and his-a mask all right, And got a gun and sneaked in de palace dat-a night; With his lantern and his-a mask he felt right in de push, He sneaked all over de palace to try and discover some cush. Before he knew where he was at he found himself in de room Of Isabella de Queen of Spain, he thought he met his doom. De Oueen woke up and say to him : "What-a you do-a ^ here?" Columbo he was-a white in the face from trembling with-a de fear. Columbo say: "I am looking for-a de thousand dollar and I'm a crook." Isabella say : "Give-a me de lamp and I will help you-a look." Dey don't find nothing in de palace, not a single cent. De palace was on de bum and Ferd could no pay-a de rent ; But Isabelle was-a one peach and, Chris, she say to him: "You shall-a discover America if you have-a to swim." 6 A SUNNY SON OF ITALY. • She went into her room and her jewel box she unlock, But cle jewel box was empty and dere was no jewels to hock ; De crown of King it was in soak, so was her crown, dat's de truth, So to dig up de coin for Chris she hocked de crown of her tooth. So Columbo got upon de sea and went to America land, And he named it after his uncle /\mericus, who ran a banana stand. When de Indians see brave Columbo dey dance with much-a glad, Dey say: "Thank-a heaven, we are discovered, no more we will be sad." Den dey grabbed dere tomahawks and grabbed poor Co- lumbus, too, And dey shake dere tomahawks in de air and Chris was much-a blue ; Dey grabbed Chris by de hair you see and den dey scalped him wicked, He didn't pay full fare back to Spain — he went on a ''scalper's ticket." De bankers say : "Come to us and give us your money." And de peoples say : "We will," and dey do. I put-a de five hundred dollar in a bank. De bank man he hand-a me a five-a de cent book. I say to him : "What is-a dis a book?" He say to me: "Dat book is a one fine idea. Dat is to tell how much money you have-a de lost when de bank busts." What-a you know about dat, eh? De Democrats say de Republicans are thieves, and de Republicans say de Democrats are thieves. And dey are both right. I been-a married one a year two a year. One day a man he asked me if I have anything running around de house to show I have been married one-a year, two a year. I say to him dere is nothing running around de house but a picket fence. A SUNNY SON OF ITALY. 7 What-a you know about dat, eh? But one-a day de stork he came and leave-a de babe. His mother and me are much-a de glad. One-a day he is one year old and I say to his mother: "What-a business shall de little babe be in when he grows up big like ?" She say : "I don't know." So we try what-a you call de experiment. We put-a de babe in de room and give-a him a bible, a silver dollar and a nice de banan. I say if he plays with de bible we will make-a him de minister ; if he plays with de dollar we will make-a him a de banker, and if he plays with de nice banan he will be like his father a peddler. We shut-a de door and leave-a de babe with the bible, de silver dollar and de nice banan. Bime-by we open de door to see what de babe he is doing — and what you tink, eh? De babe he is sitting on de bible and he has de dollar in one hand and with his other hand he is feeding his face with de nice banan. My wife she say to me : ''What-a shall we make out of de babe now?" I say : "Dere is only de wan-a ting to make out of him. He will be a politician." Which is-a much-a plenty, eh? Dis country is what you call de patrioc. In de last war de volunteers were called for and thousands of men stood-a in de streets anxious to hold-up dis-a country's honor. Now in times of peace tink of de thousands dat stand in de streets at night waiting to hold-up de citizens. What-a you know about dat, eh? In dat place you call-a Washington, D. C, dere is a place where dey take all de old money and burn it up. Dat is-a de no much-a nice way to do with money. If dat money is too old and dirty for the politicians to handle, why don't dey give you and me a chance at it? Let us have a little money to burn. One-a day one man who run fast for President, but not-a fast quite a-plenty enough, he called on de President at de White House and he say to de President, "Mr. President, you never mind ; you can't fool all de peoples all de time." And Mr. President he say, "I no want to fool all de peoples all de time. Four years is-a much a plenty enough for me." What-a you know about dat, eh? 8 A SUNNY SON OF ITALY. Den Mr. Congress he much-a smart guy. He say we must have much-a plenty more ships. We no got ships enough. What-a we want-a more ships for because? We got ships enough. You and me are never allowed to ride in them, are we? No. Den ain't we got ships enough? I ride on street cars. Dat's de best I get. Dis-a morning I was-a riding on a car wid much-a plenty enough more peoples in it. I hang-a to a strap and close near me was some young lady girls. One of dem say: ''I wash-a my hair las-a night and I can't do a thing with it this morning." Just-a then de car he gave a quick jump and I step-a on one of de young lady girl's feet. She scowled like-a dis. I say: "Excuse-a me, but I wash-a my feet las-a night and dis morning I can't do a thing with 'em." What-a you know about dat, eh? CURTAIN. H 21/ 85 DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS. Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given. FARCES AND SKETCHES. M. F. Assessor, sketch, 10 min 3 2 April Pools, 30 min 3 Bad Job, 30 min ,.... 3 2 Eardell vs. Pickwick, 25 mm... 6 2 Beautiful Forever, 30 min 2 2 Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 Blind Margaret, musical, 30 m. 3 3 Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min... 5 Borrowing Trouble, 25 min 3 5 Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 Breezy Call, 25 min 2 1 B'^mble's Courtship, 18 min... 1 1 Cabman No. 93, 40 min 2 2 Christmas Ship, musical, 20 m. 4 3 Cobbler, 10 min 1 Convention of Papas, 25 min. . . 7 Country Justice, 15 min 8 Cow That Kicked Chicago, 20 min 3 2 Cutoff with a Shilling, 25 min. 2 1 Deception, 30 min 3 2 Desperate Situation, 25 min — 2 3 Documentary Evidence, 25 min. 1 1 Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min 5 3 FairEncounter, sketch, 20 min. 2 Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 Freezing a Mother-in-Law, 45 min 3 2 Great Medical Dispensary, 30 min 6 Hans Von Smash, 30 min 4 3 Hard Cider, temperance, 15 m.. 4 2 Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 Homoeopathv, Irish, 30 min.... 5 3 I'llStay Awhile, 20 min 4 I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25mln.. 3 2 Initiating a Granger, 25 min... 8 Jn the Wrong House, 20 min. . . 4 2 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min. . 3 3 Is the Editor in? 20 min 4 2 John Smith, 30 min 5 3 Just My Luck, 20 min 4 3 Kansas Immigrants, 20 min 5 1 Kiss in the Dark, 30 min 2 3 Larkin's Love Letters, 50 min.. 3 2 Lend MeFiveShillings,40min. 5 2 Limerick Boy, 30 min 5 2 Little Black Devil, 10 min 2 1 Love and Rain, sketch, 20 min. 1 1 Luoky Sixpence, 30 min 4 2 Lucy's Old Man, sketch, 15 m. 2 3 Madame Princeton's Temple of Beauty, 20min 6 Mike Donovan, 15 min 1 3 Misses Beers, 25 min 3 3 Mistake in Identity, 15 min... O 2 Model of a Wife, 25 min 3 2 Mrs. Gamp's Tea, sketch, 15 m. 2 My Jeremiah, 20 min 3 2 My Lord in Livery, 45 mia . 4 3 ily Neighbor's Wife, 45 min. ... 33 M. p. My Turn Next, 50 min 4 3 Narrow Escape, sketch, 15 m... 2 Not at Home, 15 min 2 Obstinate P'amily, 40 min 3 3 On Guard, 25 min 4 2 Only Cold Tea, 20 min 3 3 Outwitting the Colonel, 25 m.. 3 2 Patsy O' Wang, 3.T min 4 3 Pat the Apotliecary, 35 min 6 2 Persecuted Dutchman, 35 min. 6 3 Petsof Society, 30 min 7 Played and Lost, sketch, 15 m. 3 2 PuU-Back, 20mln 6 Quiet Family, 45 min 4 4 Realmof Time, musical, 30 min. 8 15 Regular Fix, 50 min 6 4 Rejected, 40 min 5 3 Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 Row in Kitchen and Politician's Breakfast, 2 monologues... 1 1 Silent Woman, 25 min 2 1 Slasher and Crasher, 1 hr. 15 m. 5 2 Taming a Tiger, 20 min 3 That Rascal Pat, 35 min 3 2 To Oblige Benson, 45 min 3 2 Too Much for One Head, 25 m. . 2 4 Too Much of a Good Thing, 50 min 3 6 Treasure from Egypt, 45 min.. 4 1 Trick Dollar, 30 min 4 3 Turn Him Out, 60 min 3 3 Twenty Minutes Under Um- brella, sketch, 20 min 1 1 Two Honnycastles, 45 min 3 3 Two Ga> Deceivers, 25 min 3 Two Gents in a Fix, 20 min .... 20 Two Ghosts in While, 25 min.. 8 Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 8 Two Puddlfoots. 40 min 3 3 Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 Very Pleasant Evening, 30 min 3 Wanted: a Correspondent, 1 hr. 4 4 Wanted; a Hero, 20 min 1 1 Which Will He Marry? 30 rain. 2 8 White Caps (The),miisical, 30m. 8 Who is Who, 40 min 3 2 WhoTold the Lie? 30min 5 3 Wide Enough for Two, 50 min. 5 2 Woman Hater (The), 30 min... 2 1 Wonderful Letter, 25 min 4 1 Wooing Under Difficulties, 35 min 4 3 Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 The publisher believes that he can say truthfully that Denison's list of plays is on the whole the best se- lected and most successful in the market. Netc Pi^pg will be added from time to time;". For Btliiopian Plays see Catalogue T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 163 Randolph St., Chicago. POPULAR ENTERTAINMENT ^QOKS Price, Ilhistrated Paper Covers. 25 cents each. |N this Series are found books touching every feature in the enter- tainment field. Good paper, clear print and each book has an attractive in- dividual cover desigm. DIALOGUES. All Sorts of Dialogues. Selected, fine for older pupils. Catchy Comic Dialofiues. New, clever; for young people. Children's Comic Dialogues. Brig-ht, original; for children from six to eleven years of age. DialoiJues from Dickens. Thirteen selections. The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. Twenty-five original pieces; 45,000 copies sold. From Tots to Teens. Dialogues for youths. children .little tots; pieces for special occasions. When the Lessons are Over. Dialogues, drills, plays. Wide Awake Dialogues. Brand new, original, successful. SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES. Choice Pieces for Little People. A child's speaker. The Comic Entertainer. Recitations, monologues.dialogues. Dialect Readiniis. Irish, Dutch. Negro. Scotch, etc. The Favorite Speaker. Choice prose and poetry. The Friday Afternoon Speaker. For pupils of all ages. Humorous Monologues. For amateur and professional moB* ologists. Particularly for ladies. The Patriotic Speaker. Master thoughts of master minds. The Poetical Entertainer. Choice poems for reading or speaking; fine illustrations. Pomes ov the Peepul. Wit, humor. satire; funny poems for reading or speaking; illustrated. Scrap-Book Recitations. Choice collections, pathetic, hum- orous, descriptive, prose, poetry. 14 Nos., pec No., 25c. DRILLS. The Best Drill Book. Very popular drills and marches. The Favorite Book of Drills. Drills that sparkle with originality. The Surprise Drill Book. Fresh, novel, drills and marches. SPECIALTIES. The Days We Celebrate. Entertainments for all the holidays. Good Things for Christmas. Recitations, monologues.exercises, dialofifues, drills, tableaux, etc. The LiHle Folks, or Work and Play. A gem of a book. The Little Folks* Bndtfet. Easy pieces to speak, songs. One Hundred Entertainments. New parlor diversions, socials. Pranks and Pastimes. Parlor games for children. School and Parlor Tableaux. For school, church and parlor. Shadow Pictures. Pantomimes. Charades, and how to prepare. Tableaux and Scenic ReadiniJs. New and novel. For all ages. Twinklinit Finders and Swayin({ FitJures. Finger plays, motion songs, catchy music; illustrated. HAND BOOKS. The Debater's Handbook. Bound only in cloth. 50c. Everybody's Letter Writer. A Handy ManuaL Good Manners. Etiquette in brief form. Private Theatricals. Selecting plays, cast, rehearsals, stage setting, rain, lightning, etc. Social Card Games. Complete in brief form. MINSTRELS. JOKES. Black American Joker. Minstrels and end men's gags, A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. Original cross fire conversations, monologues and stuhap speeches. Nctfro Minstrels. All about the business. The New Jolly Jester. Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc, Lartfe Illustrated Cataiarfae Frea. T. S. DENISON. Publisher. 163 Randolph St., Chicago. V *i/oL'* c- V»-'\^°' h ^.^^ •'^'- ^./ 'M^' \^^^ '* .^■^"-b %,^^ ;afiB -y ^^ f." A^' «^ o ''.^0^ -bV" J?-nK % >^^^ •'^ «l!?^ N