PS 3539 .U13 N6 1912 Copy 1 PRICE 15 CENTS Not on the Bills SHOEMAKER'S BEST SELECTIONS For Redwding(s and Recitd^tioiis Nos. I to 27 Now Paper Binding, each number, • ^ « 30 cents Cloth *• "' •• V e • 50 cent* Teachers, Readers, Students, and all persons who have had occasion to use books of this kind, concede this to be the best series of speakers published. The different numbers are compiled by leading elocution- ists of the country, who have exceptional facilities for securing selections, and whose judgment as to their merits is invaluable. No trouble or expense is spared to obtain the very best readings and recitations, and much material is used by special arrangement with other publishers, thus securing the best selections from such American authors as Longfellow, Holmes, Whittier, Lowell, Emerson, Alice and Phoebe Gary, Mrs. Stowe, and many others. The foremost Eng- lish authors are also represented, as well as the leading French and German writers. This series was formerly called 'The Elocution- ist's Annual," the first seventeen numbers being pub- lished under that title. While the primary purpose of these books is to supply the wants of the. public reader and elocution- ist, nowhere else can*T?e ifound such an attractive col- lection of interesting •sHort stories for home reading. Sold by all booksellers and newsdealers, or mailed upon receipt of price. The Penn Publishing Company 226 5. nth Street, Philadelphia Not on the Bills A Farce in One Act BY ARTHUR LEWIS TUBBS Author of "Farm Folks." "Home Ties." "Heart of a Hero.' etc. PHILADELPHIA THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 1912 -y Copyright 1912 by The Penn Publishing Company Not on the Bills ^ ©CI,D 31812 Not On the Bills CAST OF CHARACTERS LoRA Livingston the leading lady. Frederick Ainsleigh .... the leading man, and a " Matinee Idol.'' Mr. Banks the manager. Ji^isv the office boy. Time of Playing. — About thirty minutes. STORY OF THE PLAY Lora Livingston, leading lady of a theatrical company, is engaged to Frederick Ainsleigh, the leading man. She is afraid he flirts when out of her sight. To test him she dis- guises herself as " Mandy Slocum," a stage struck country girl, and completely fools Banks, her manager, and Jimsy, the office boy. «' I aim to act. I'm going to call myself ' Evelina Everglade.' " Banks doesn't want to see her act. ** Poor Juliet's been murdered so many times." Lora gets Banks to help her try it on her lover. Ainsleigh recog- nizes her, but conceals it, and pretends to be smitten with the little country girl. *' May 1 call this evening ? " He pretends to write her an address where she may find a room, then attempts to embrace her. Lora throws off her disguise and denounces him. ''So I have found you out." Ains- leigh makes her read the note he gave to \' Evelina." " You are a clever actress, Lora dear, but I 'knew you all the tim^." Lora admits she was wrong, and they make up. NOTICE:— The professional rights to this play are fully reserved. Professional actors wishing to produce it in any form or under any title are forbidden to do so with- out the consent of the author, who may be addressed in care of the publishers. COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS LoRA Livingston. A young and attractive leading woman of a slock company. She has dignity and emotional ability, but is disguised as a demure young girl from the country ; not a caricature, but an innocent, simple maid, supposedly shy and unsophisticated. She is dressed in rather countrified style ; cheap, but neat and becoming dress, straw hat with daisies or other simple flowers and ribbons for trimming ; veil which partly conceals face. Her girlish manner and voice are assumed, but should not be overdone. Frederick Ainsleigh. The typical handsome, polished young actor of the " matinee idol " sort. He is manly and sincere in his love for Lora, his lightness of manner being assumed. Wears an elegant afternoon suit. Mr. Banks. Forty-five or fifty years of age; brisk, businesslike, but shows good-nature. Neat business suit. JiMSY. Typical "smart " office boy, about twelve years old. Dark suit. PROPERTIES Papers, pen, inkstand, letter, telephone, slip of paper, pencil. Not On the Bills SCENE. — Manager's office in a theatre. Doors up c, and at L. Desk and chair r. Chair r. Posters on walls. Discover Mr. Banks, the manager^ seated at desk, r., busily engaged. (^Enter JiMSY, the office boy, c. ; stands R. C.) JiMSY. Lady wants t' see you, Mr. Banks. (^JVo reply. ^ Mr. Banks — a huiy ! Banks (^tiot looking around). Tell her I'm busy; can't see her. JiMSY. She says it's important. Says she's got t'. Banks. Huh ! Got t' ! You just tell her — what's she look like — actress looking for an engagement? Jlmsy. Well, no, sir, — not jest. Looks kind o' like she was from the country. Young, and — she says it's most im- portant, and — mebbe you'd belter see 'er, jest a minute. Banks {turning round). What's that? Maybe I'd bet- ter? How long since I've been supposed to take advice from you, young man ? Now, you clear out and tell that female, whoever she is, that I'm busy and wouldn't see the Queen of England if she was to call and offer to star for eighteen a week, {l^urns back to desk.) Jlmsy. Yes, sir. She's got a letter from Miss Livingston, though. Banks. Who has — the Queen of England ? JiMSY. No, sir; 'tain't her down there. I mean the girl what wants t' see you. Miss Livingston sent her. Banks. Did, eii? Some stage-struck damsel that's got on the soft side of her, I supj)ose. (^Impatiently.) Oh, well, — seeing Miss Livingston sent her, 1 suppose JiMSY (eagerly). Shall I show her up? Banks. OIi, — er — yes. Jlmsy {throwing open door c). She is up, sir. Here she is. 6 NOT ON THE BILLS (^Enter Lora Livingston, c, dressed as a girl fro7n the country. Her face is partly hidden by a veil, and she keeps it slightly turned away frotn Banks. She speaks in an assumed voice, ivith apparent timidity. Banks regards her with careless indijference. He is still seated at desk ; she c. ; Jimsy r. c, back?) Lora. Is — is this Mr. Banks? Banks. Yes, I'm Mr. Banks. Lora. The famous Mr. Banks — the great theatrical man- ager, of the Imperial Stock Company ? Banks. M'm — well, I'm the manager. Is there any- thing I can do for you ? {^He has risen ; stands R. c. ; she c.) Lora (^gushingly). Oh, yes, — yes, sir. 1 aim to act ! Banks. Oh, you do? Want to be an actress, eh? Lora. Yes, sir. I have lofty ambitions — even to the stars. Banks. I see. You want to shine, Miss — er Lora. Slocum — Mandy Slocum — that's my real name, but I'm going to call myself "Evelina Everglade " (Jimsy, who has stood back looking on much interested, now snickers. ) Banks. That'll do, Jimsy. You may go. Jimsy {still snickering). Yes, sir. "Evelina Ever- glade," — gee ! (Banks points to door, sternly. Lora, behind his back, motions Jimsy to go, as if there were an understanding between the?n. Exit Jimsy, c.) Lora. Yes, sir, — "Evelina Everglade." I studied it up. I think it's such a pretty name — so poetical — don't you ? Banks. Oh, yes, sure. Very. Lora. That's what I think. I thought of "Gladys Grassbrook" and "Rosabella Rosedale," but decided on "Evelina Everglade"; it seems to have such a lofty, ro- mantic sound, you know. I think there's everything in a name; don't you? And I wanted both names to begin with the same letter, like Miss Livingston's. Lora Living- ston. I always thought that such a lovely name. NOT ON THE BILLS 7 Banks. You say she sent you to me, and that you aim to act. What's your Hue ? LouA. Line? Oli, yes; I have it right here — a line from Miss Livingston. {Produces Utter.) She speaks so well of me, too. Wasn't it kind of her? She says I can act as good as she can. Banks. M'm — oh, yes. But I — I mean what line of work? Character? {Takes letter^ glances at it.) LoRA. Character? Sir, I'd have you know my charac- ter is of the best. My father is sheriff of Spruce County, and we're one of the very best families in Luluville. Char- acter, indeed ! I should think an introduction from Miss Livingston Banks. Oh, yes, it is — quite sufficient, I assure you. But — I'm sorry — I don't think we have — you see, I'm full at present LoRA {shri7iking aivay from him). Oh, — sir ? You — are ? Banks. That is, I mean — the company is. LoRA. All of them ? Mercy me, what a dreadful lot they must be. I've heard that show folks were bad, but I had no idea a whole company would get intoxicated. I'm sure Miss Livingston Banks. You misunderstand me, madam LoRA. ''Miss," please, and mean to stay so. Banks. Miss — er — *' Evergreen." LoRA. ''Glade"— ''Everglade." Banks. "Glade." What I meant was, we have no openings at present. But if you care to leave your address, why, if anything turns up Lora. Well, it needn't be your nose, 'cause I can act. I'll give you a little scene, if you want me to. {Strikes pose, as though about to begin.) Banks. Thank you, but, really, I don't think it's neces- sary. I'm willing to take your word for it. Lora. La sakes, I don't ask you to take my word. Why, Miss Livingston ain't got a thing on me, if I do say it as shouldn't. You ought to see me do Juliet — the death scene Banks. Poor Juliet, she's been murdered so many times. Lora. Murdered ? La, no — killed herself. Stabbed. All because Romeo missed the car and didn't get there just 8 NOT ON THE BILLS on the minute. Didn't you ever see that piece ? It's by Mr. Shakespeare. I can recite some of it for you. Banks. Thanks, do, — spare me — I mean Juliet ; that is, you — you needn't bother. LouA. Oh, it wouldn't be a bit of bother. I'd just as soon as not. It's real tragic. Banks. Yes, I dare say it would be. Poor Juliet, she had so much to bear. Loua. Yes, didn't she, poor dear? Her folks wouldn't let her have the fellow she'd picked out — was just goneon — and she went and got desperate. But maybe you'd raliier have me do 0|)lielia's mad scene, where she goes crazy — just raving. ''Here's rosemary, that's for remembrance." (^Acts amateurishly.) Banks. Oh, forget it ! (JiMSY has entered c, stands back, looking on, tinnoiiced, very much amused.) Lora. No, indeed, I know it all by heart. But if you'd rather have *'The Boy Stood On the Burning Deck," 1 can do that just grand. But even that don't compare with *' The Polish Boy." My! but that's tragic. " Back, ruf- fian, back, nor dare to tread," it goes — "nor dare to tread " I spoke that at the school exhibition, and put my whole soul into it. They all said it was real thrilling. "Back ! " I said, just like that. Everybody said I'd mnke a great actress — even the minister — and so I've come to let you have the chance to bring me out — all because you're Miss Livingston's manager. Banks. Thanks. It's very kind of you. I assure you, I appreciate the honor; but, really, I have nothing to offer you. Lora. But if Miss Livingston should be sick, or need a rest, or anything, I could take her place; I just know I could. (JiMSY snickers ; Lora and Banks look around at him.') Banks. Jimsy, you may go. When I want you, I'll call you. (^Turns to desk, as if to end conversation.) JiMSY. All right, sir. NOT ON THE BILLS 9 {^He motions to Lora, toward Banks, for her to persist. She gestures that she ivishes him to leave. Jimsy goes up c. After a brief pause, Lora goes and touches Banks on shoulder.^ Banks (^glancing up, then turning back to desk). You'll have lo excuse uie, niiss ; I have nolhing for you. [Exit JiMSY, c.) Lora. After I've come all the way from Luluville, to go on the stage? Witli all my talent? I'll just go and tell Miss Livingston. She won't tliink much of it. She won't act in your old company, either, if I don't. Banks {turning around). What's that? Won't act if you don't? Really, Miss — er — "Evergreen" — 1 don't understand Lora {dropping her assumed manner and voice). I should say you don't. My, but you're easy, or else I'm a belter actress than I thought I was. Banks {recognizing her, rising). What ! You — you don't mean to say — Miss Livingston ! Well, I'll be Lora. " Gumfoozled " — eh? I don't wonder. Didn't recognize your own leading lady. Think I'll strike for an increase in salary, Mr. Manager. I never engaged lo act character parts, so I think I deserve a raise. See? Banks. No, I don't see. What in — under the sun is it all about? I fail to see the joke. Lora. That's just it. It isn't a joke. It's in dead ear- nest. I was just trying it on the manager before testing the leading man. Own up, you were fooled? Banks. Weil, yes — I was. But Ainsleigh — what has he to do with it ? Lora. Everything. He says he loves me. Banks. Well? What if he does ? That's his business. Lora. Ha ! — that's it. I mean really, not on the stage. Wants me to marry him. Banks, Oh, ho! So that's it? And do you intend to do it ? Lora. M'm — I don't know. Might. But I haven't much faith in actors — as lovers and husbands, you know. They're too vain, generally, and — well, not much inclined to be constant. I'm afraid Mr. Ainsleigh is like the most of them — ^just a flirt. So I thought I'd dress up this way, see 10 NOT ON THE BILLS if he'd flirt with me, tliinking I was an innocent girl from the country, and Do you think I can fool him? Banks. I doubt it, if he really loves you. Lor A. But they say love is blind, you know. Banks. Yes ; but you must remember that Ainsleigh is inclined occasionally to take an eye-opener. Besides, he's no fool. LoRA. Thanks. I hope not — though I'll confess I'm going to try to make a fool of him, for a few minutes. Isn't this a good get-up ? Banks. It sure is, but — you see, I was pretty busy and didn't give you a good look. Didn't Jimsy know you ? LoRA. Yes, the little scamp — after a minute. But I fooled even him just at first. But he's my devoted ally. He'll never give me away. It's your help I want. . Banks. What can I do ? LoRA. Pave the way. Banks {starling). All right. I'll go and send him to you. LORA. Wait. Not so fast. You might put him wise. Send for him to come here, and I'll hide, within hearing. Just tell him a sweet little thing from the country is here — that she's dead in love with him — a dear little country flower, and all that, you know. Banks (ai desk ; taking up receiver of telephone). A regular ''daisy." {In 'phone'.) Hello! LoRA. Or a blushing wild rose — simplicity — rural charm Banks {talking in 'phone). Hello ! Is Ainsleigh down there? What? Oh, Jimsy, go and find Ainsleigh Well, try Jerry's. LoRA. I hope he'll come soon. I'm getting nervous. Banks. Cheer up, the worst is to come. (/;/ 'phone.) Yes— go tell him I want to see him in my office, right away. {Hangs up receiver.) LoRA {going L.). I'll hide here in the next room while you put a flea in his ear. Banks. Oh, I'll put a flea in, all right; trust me. A whole pack of 'em, as big as horseflies. LoRA. Now, don't you go and overdo it. You might spoil the whole thing. Banks. Never fear ; you leave it to me. There— skid- doo ! I think I hear him coming. NOT ON THE BILLS II LORA. Remember, now — a life's happiness hangs in the balance — maybe two. (^Exit Lor A, at door l., where she can listen and peer out. Banks sits at desk ; pretends to be very busy.') [Enter Jimsy, c.) Banks {^vithout looking around). Well, Ainsleigh, I JiMSY. 'Tain't him. He (^Looks at door l., where Lora's head is visible.) Banks. Oh, it's you, Jimsy? Find him? JiMSY {looking toward Lora, rniscliievously). Yes, sir. He was just goin' to his dressing-room. {Looks out c.) Here he is now. {Looks at 'LoYKk, grinning ; she f notions him not to betray her ; he shakes his head decisively, crossing his heart. She dodges back. Enter Frederick Ainsleigh, c.) {Exit Jimsy, c.) Ainsleigh {standing c). You wish to see me, Mr. Banks? Banks. M'm — yes ; on a little matter of business — or sentiment, rather. Ainsleigh. Sentiment? Why, how's that ? Of course, we're good friends, but — sentiment? Banks. You know you're a deucedly handsome fellow, Ainsleigh — a regular ''matinee idol," as they call 'em, and Ainsleigh. Ha, ha ! I'm not so sure about the '' idle " part, with six nights and two matinees a week. But — what has my looks to do with it — even if, as you say, I'm What you driving at? You didn't call me up here to tell me about my looks, nor to talk sentiment. Of course, if you have any fault to find with my work Banks. Not a bit of it. The fact is, there's a lady to see you, and I have promised her an interview. It's a case, Ainsleigh, and she's a sweet, innocent little thing. Be gentle with her, and let her down easy. Ainsleigh. Oh, say, now ; you know I can't be bothered that way. AVhy, if I answered all the letters, or saw half the No, you'll have to excuse me. 12 NOT ON THE BILLS Banks. "Bothered" — you? Tut, tut, you lady-killer. It won't be a bother when you see this one. She's a peach — a dainty little country flower. AiNSLEiGH. Oh, a peach- blossom ? Banks. Daisy, wild-rose — and all that. Wait till you see her. You may want to pluck her and wear her next your heart. AiNSLEiGH. Say, see here, Banks, what you up to? Are you trying to jolly me? If this is a joke, 1 fail to see it. Banks. Not a bit of it. You won't think so when you see her. Poor little thing, she's completely smitten with your manly charms. Wait. (^Goes L. and gets Loua, jvho shyly comes forivard, her head drooping, veil covering face. She speaks in an assumed voice, and Ainsleigh is at first deceived.) Miss Slo — ''Evergree — glade" — let me intro- duce Mr. Ainsleigh. LORA {bowing demurely). Oh, — (sighing) sir ! Ainsleigh. How do you do, Miss — m'm — Slo — " Ever- gree — glade " ? LoRA. "Evelina Everglade," please, sir. Banks. Well, I'll leave you now. I have a little busi- ness to attend to, so if you'll excuse me, why {Goes to c. D., catches Jimsy peeking in, gives him a push out of door and exits. Jimsy runs back and looks in. Lora sees him, unkfioivn to Ainsleigh, aiid fnotions'hi?n away. Jimsy disappears, with a mischievous grin.) Ainsleigh. Won't you sit down, Miss — er — " Ever- glade " ? Lora. Thank you. {She sits l., bashfully ; she keeps head partly turned away through this intervietv, so that he is u liable to get a good look at her. She also continues using an assumed voice, affecting country simplicity, though by no means ^^green- ness.'") Ainsleigh. I believe Mr. Banks said you wished to see me ? Is there anything — that is, I mean can I be of any service to you ? Lora. You are really Mr. Ainsleigh, the great actor? Ainsi,eigh {recognizing her. Aside). By Jove, it's Lora. {To Lora.) M'm — I am Mr. Ainsleigh, the actor. NOT ON THE BILLS 1 3 0|jinions might differ as to what you are kind enough to call ** great." But, of course, if m your opinion — why, I'm sure Lou A. Oh, — yes ! I have admired you so long — from afar; recognized your greatness — your genius — and so longed to meet you face to face, and AiNSLEiGH {iryifig to get a better look at Jier). Well, you can hardly call this " face to face," you know. Lor A {still turning aiuay from him). Oh, — sir ! I am overcome. 1 can scarcely jjelieve that 1 am really here with you, the idol — that is, the inspirer of my humble endeavors, the one who has — has made me long to — to let my own talent shine forth to the world. If 1 might even ever so humbly reflect the radiance of your divine fire ! AiNSLEiGH. Well, really, madam, I — I fear you put it rather too strongly. But, if I can advise you, or be of any assistance. LoKA. Oh, sir, you can ! I aim to act. If I might but be Juliet to your Romeo AiNSLEiGH. But, you see, we are not thinking of putting on Shakespeare — and we have a leading woman LoKA. Oh, in any capacity, then, only so that I might have the inspiration of your presence, the advantage of studying your great art. AiNSLEiGH. Yes, of course, but — perhaps you'd better talk to Mr. Banks, the manager. He engages the people. He's a nice man, too, and LoRA. Oh, yes, he was real sympathetic. I'm so fond of sympathetic people. Are — are you m-married ? AiNSLEiGH. Why — er — n-no, I'm not. Lor A {coquettishly). Neither am I. AiNSLEiGH {smiling). Indeed ? I am amazed. How is it that so fair a flower was not plucked long ago ? LoRA (rising). They came to woo, but I had my am- bition — my art — my ideal ! I aimed to act, to be a great actress — to shine ! My talent has won recognition. My interpretation of that tragic poem, "Back, ruffian, back, nor dare to tread ! " thrilled the audience wt our last school exhibition, and I was led to believe that 1 should give my talents to the world. I felt it within me — kindled — glow- ing ! And then I saw you. Ah, how I thrilled nnew with hope and aspiration. Oh, sir, if you but knew what it means to me to be so near to you — to H NOT ON THE BILLS (Si\^/ts, as if almost overcome. Ainsleigh 7iow pretends to be susceptible to her charms, gradually yielding, going closer to her, and assuming an affectionate manner. She still keeps face averted, etc.') Ainsleigh. I understand. You need a friend— I will be — may 1 be that friend ? LoRA. Oh, sir \ if you would. If I might lean upon you. Ainsleigh. You may. {Pauses, then, rather signifi- cantly.) Are you stopping in tlie city ? LoRA. Yes. And 1 find it so lonely. Ainsleigh. You are all alone ? LoRA. Yes, quite. Oh, sir, you are so kind and so sympathetic. Just think, you are Mr. Ainsleigh, the great actor, and I am only a poor little country girl. I do ap- preciate it so much. What can I ever do to tiiank you — to — to show my appreciation ? Ainsleigh. You might let me see your face. Lor A {bashfully, still turning aiuay). Oh, — sir ! Ainsleigh. And you might ask me to call. LoRA. But I — I have just arrived, and I have no place yet. I have to find one. Perhaps you could tell me where to go. It would be so kind. Ainsleigh. I sliould be delighted. I think I know where you could get a nice room — and then I could come to see you — and LoRA. Oh, — sir (^He still pretends to be taken in. She gradually, as she becomes convinced of his susceptibility, is overcome with genuine e^notion at what she considers his ^^ perfidy. ^^ She shows this feeling to the audience, but to him still carries out her assumed role.) Ainsleigh. May I call this evening — after the per- formance? LoRA. I — yes, I — would be pleased to see you Ainsleigh. I will give you the address of tlie place where you can get a room — it is near where I have my apartments. ( Takes pencil from pocket, goes to desk and ivrites on piece of paper ; folds it up and hands it to her. She takes the paper, not looking at it.) NOT ON THE BILLS 15 LoRA. Thank you. You are so kind. AiNSLEiGH. And you will surely see me to-night — dear ? LoRA. Oh, — sir ! AiNSLEiGH. Come— let me see your face— those eyes {^He attempts to embrace her ; she at first seefns to submit, then, suddenly throwing off her disguise, faces him fti- riously. The piece of paper on which he has written fails to the floor. He pretends to be greatly surprised and overcome at her revelation of herself ; as she speaks, he makes pleading gestures, then falls into chair at desk, burying face in hands, etc. She is deceived by his action and continues her denunciation.) LOKA. So ! I have found you out, Frederick Ains- leigh ! You are like them all ; like all the actors— a flirt, a lady-killer — vain, unprincipled— without a true beat to your false, perfidious heart. You thought you could win the innocent little country girl, — inveigle her into your net of falsity and use her as the plaything of a moment, then cast her off, as you have many others, no doubt AiNSLEiGH. Lora ! Wait — listen LoRA. No, I won't wait, I won't listen— never again. You swore you loved me — Lora Livingston — that there was no other woman in all the world for you. You asked me to be yours, to trust my life, my future happiness, to you — you, the actor, the '' matinee idol," the lover of any woman that happens to please you for the moment. But I have found you out — yes, found you out in time, thank heaven ! {^He has risen, apparently stricken with grief and remorse ; attempts to speak, but she waves him aside.) No, don't speak to me ! I can't stand it. Go ! Go, I say. I never want to see your face or hear your voice again ! {He turns his face fro?n her to conceal his smile.) AiNSLEiGH {turning to her). Lora, listen to me! For- give me. I can explain Lora. Explain ! Yes ; you can lie— lie to me, as you have all along, as you have to others. No, — no ! You would make false promises to a young and innocent girl— you would break her heart l6 NOT ON THE BILLS {She is overcome^ iveepin^, though semi-tragic in her 7nin- gled rage and grief. He asstmies a serious moody leading her on.) AiNsr.EiGH. And you — what about you ? You led me on. Vou were the Eve, I the Ad LoRA. Ha ! The same old plea — the woman's fault, of course. I offered the apple, and you AmsLKiGH. Bit. Only 1 thought it was a peach. Well, we're a pair. We were both to blame. LoRA. Both? I don't see that 1 have done anything, except find you out. If Adam had been half a man AiNSLEiGH. How could he be, when Eve was the better half? LoRA. Mr. Ainsleigh, this is no time for jesting. {At- tempts to go out c. ; he bars her way.) You will be kind enough to let me pass. Almsleigh. Sorry, but you'll have to see the manager ; he gives out the passes. (JiMSY appears in c. d., with Banks looking over his shoul- der. Lor A is turned toward L., and sJie does not see them. Ainsleigh sees them and motions them to go away. They dodge back, but keep peering out, unnoticed by Lora.) LoRA. Will you be kind enough to stand aside? Ainsleigh {reciting, in burlesque). ''Back, ruffian, back ! " LoRA. Sir ! Ainsleigh. Ma'am ? LoR.i. Mr. Ainsleigh, you are going too far. Ainsleigh. Oh, then I'll get nearer. (Approaches her.) LoRA. You will stand aside, please. 1 wish to leave the room. Ainsleigh. Do, please ; it belongs to Mr. Banks. LoRA. If you don't let me pass, I shall call for help. Ainsleigh. Sorry, but this is Thursday — the help's day out. Oh, say, Lora, hasn't this joke gone far enough? {Laughs. ) LoRA. Joke? You call it a joke? Am I to under- stand AiNsr.EiGH. 1 hope so. It's about time. You certainly don't understand at present. NOT ON THE BILLS 1 7 {They are well down c. Banks and Jimsy keep looking out c. D., listenings but dodge back so that Loka does not see them. Ainsi.eigh occasionally glares at thejn, a fid motions them to get outy but they still watch the proceed- ings.) LoRA. I understand that you are false — perfidious AiNSLEiGH {stooping and picking up the piece of paper from floor ; offering it to her). Here — read ! Iwant you to see the address 1 gave tlie country giil. LoRA {tef using paper). What! your address? Given, as you thought, to the innocent country girl whom you ex- pected to hue into your snare. AiNSLEiGH. But you must take it. I insist. {She still refuses y turning away ^ but he forces her to take the pn per ^ semi- tragically.) Read ! It contains the secret of my life. {He compels her to look at paper ; she glances at it, reading the few laords thereon ; is at first surprised, then in- credulous and angry.) LoRA. 1 don't believe it ! You — you didn't, any such thing ! AiNSLEiGH. It says so — and I wrote it. See — "You are a very clever actress, Lora, dear, but 1 knew you all the time." Lora. Oh ! How could you — how dare you play such a trick on me ? AiNSLEiGH. ''All's fair in love and" Well, I hold the winning trick. It was fighting you with your own weapons. Madam Eve, and Adam held the trump card. Lora. The idea ! You needn't flatter yourself. Be- sides, 1 knew all the time that — that you — knew all the time. AiNSLEiGH. Oh — oh — m'm — look out, Eve; no fibs. Lora. Well, anyway, you ought to be ashamed of your- self for — for letting me I'll never forgive you — never {She seems about to relent ; he makes a motion to embrace her, when Jimsy sticks head in c. ; they spritig apart, looking around.) Jimsy. Say — do you know what time it is? Banks {appearing c, pushing Jimsy back). It's most show time. Inue to make up. l8 NOT ON THE BILLS {He af/^]iusY disappear, c.) AiNSLEiGH {to LoRA, pleadlvgly). Hear that? Come, let's make up LOKA. I suppose we — we'll have to. AiNSLEiGH. But not with paint— a kiss ! {Puts his arvi around her.^ LoRA. Oh, Fred ! How can you? AiNSLEiGH. Why, — easy ! {He kisses her as they go out c.) CURTAIN DEC 28 1912 Practical Elocution By J. W. Shoemaker, A. M 300 pages Cioth, Leather Back, $1.25 This work is the outgrowth oi actual class-room experience, and is a practical, common-sense treat- ment of the whole subject. It is clear and concise, yet comprehen- sive, and is absolutely free fron:; the entangling technicalities that are so frequently found in books of this class. Conversation, which is the basis of all true Elocu- tion, is regarded as embracing all the germs ot speech and action. Prominent attention is therefore given to the cultivation of this the most common form of human expression. General prmciples and practical processes are pre sented for the cultivation of strength, purity, and flexibility of Voice, for the improvement of distinct ness and correctness in Articulation, and for the development of Soul power in delivery. The work includes a systematic treatment of Ges- ture in its several departments of position, facial expression, and bodily movement, a brief system of Gymnastics bearing upon vocal development and grace of movement, and also a chapter on Methods of Instruction, for teachers. Sold by all booksellers, or sent, prepaid, upon t^ (Seipt of price. The Penn Publishing Company 226 5. 11th Street, Philadelphia 018 482 096 1 Do you want to be an Orator Do you want to be a Teacher of Elocution Do you want to be a Public Reader Do you want to improve your conversation Do you want training in Physi- cal Culture Do you want to increase your power in any direction A CATALOGUE GIVING FULL INFORMA- MATION AS TO HOW ANY OF THESE AC COMPLISHMENTS MAY BE ATTAINED WILL BE SENT FREE ON REQUEST The National School of Elocution and Oratory Parkway Building Philadelphia LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 018 482 096 1