LIFE OF MRS CARLYLE LIFE OF JANE WELSH CARLYLE BY / MRS AI.EXANDER IRELAND K-v-CK-J • All at once they leave you ; and you know them ' Browning's Paracelsus WITH A PORTRAIT AND FACSIMILE LETTER NEW YORK CHARLES L WEBSTER & COMPANY 1891 Copyright, 1891, By CHARLES L. WEBSTER & CO. {^All rights reserved J) PllESS OF Jenkins & McCowan, HEW yoE5. 6f ^ . PREFACE I HA^E wished for some years to write about Jane Welsh Carlyle, were it only to echo from my heart the opinions of those who were privileged to know her — those whose eyes were open to her deep, isolated nature, her shining gifts, her unique charm, and her life of pain. My first step was to apply to Mr. Carlyle's literary executor, Mr. Froude, for permission to avail myself of his exhaustive volumes, without which my task could not pos- sibly have been attempted. This permission was most kindly granted me, and it must be observed that all quotations, passages from letters, &c., in this memoir — unless specially indicated as drawn from other sources — may be referred to Mr. Froude's pages. I am indebted to Mr. D. G. Ritchie, Fellow and Tutor of Jesus College, Oxford, for valuable aid. Through his courtesy I secured the consent of his publishers, Messrs. Swan Sonnenschein, to use certain passages from the 'Early Letters of Jane Welsh Carlyle.' He has kindly made the Index to the present volume. Mr. Ritchie also gave me information which resulted in my obtaining access to the hitherto unpublished letters from Mrs. Carlyle to Mrs. Dinning, the * Grace Rennie ' of the old Haddington days. For the permission to publish these letters, VI PREFA CE as well as for the sight of the originals, I am directly in- debted to Mrs. Anthony F. Nichol, of Bradford House, Belford, Northumberland. This lady is a grand-daughter of Mrs. Dinning. I have received much aid, in more directions than one, from Mr. Henry Larkin, the devoted friend of both Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle. He it is whose article, * A Ten Years' Remin- iscence ' — published some years ago in the ' British Quarterly Review' — shows such understanding and sympathy. To Mr. Larkin I also owe the letter of Mrs. Carlyle to himself, which is here given in facsimile. Mr. John Stores Smith, of The Laurels, Chesterfield, literary executor to the late Miss Jewsbury, kindly placed in my hands the letter from Mrs. Carlyle to this beloved friend of hers. The letter, though undated, and without post-mark, bears indisputable testimony as to the time at which it was written, namely within a very few months of Mrs. Carlyle's death. ^ I am also grateful to Mr, David Douglas, publisher, Edinburgh, for permission to use certain extracts of singular interest from Lieutenant-Colonel Davidson's ' Memorials of a Long Life.' The Collotype photograph has been executed by Messrs. Elliott & Fry, from a portrait of Mrs. Carlyle, taken about the year 1850. It is pronounced by one who knew her well, to be one of the most characteristic presentments possible. ANNIE E. IRELAND. May i8gi. ■ CONTENTS PART I GIRLHOOD CHAPTER I A. D. 1801-1819 PAGE Early days in Haddington — The Welsh family — Dr. John Welsh — His marriage — John Welsh of Liverpool — The home at Haddington — The only child — Her beauty and talent — The rival grandfathers — Schooldays at Haddington — Jeannie's love of danger and adventure — Edward Irvmg as private tutor — Early signs of originality in the ' only child ' i CHAPTER II A. D. 1819-1821 Strong attachment between the father and daughter — The last talk — Sudden illness and death of Dr. John Welsh — Jeannie's ' Paganism ' — Serious thoughts — ' Early letters ' to Eliza Stodart — Boarding-school in Edinburgh — Active tendencies — Teaching — Characteristics more plainly shown — The loss of the father's influence — Haddington felt to be dull — Earlv^ lovers — Power of language 16 CHAPTER III A. D. 18121 First meeting with Thomas Carlyle — Introduction by Edward Irving — The May evening — Irving's attachment to Miss Welsh — Carlyle and Margaret Gordon — Isabella Martin — George Rennie— Miss Welsh's early impressions of Carlyle — Literary ambitions and projects — Irving's engagement to Miss Isabella Martin — Miss Welsh's hesitation in accepting Carlyle as a lover — Miss Welsh's readings of Rousseau — George Rennie's departure — Visit of Carlyle to Haddington — Possibilities, ... 25 vii Vlii CONTENTS CHAPTER IV A. D. 1821-1825 PAGE Miss Welsh's German studies — Projected literary work — Irving's anxieties as to Miss Welsh's reading — Remonstrances — Ir- ving goes to London — He introduces Carlyle to the Bullers — The tutorship — More intimate correspondence between Car- lyle and Miss Welsh — Friendship the footing prescribed by Miss Welsh — Irving's marriage to Miss Martin — Continuation of the Buller engagement — Carlyle's wooing, and its results — Stoical acceptance of repulse — Dr. Fyffe — Miss Welsh's ad- miration for genius — The letter from Goethe to Carlyle — Sym- pathy on Byron's death — ' Benjamin B ' — Miss Welsh does not pay a visit to the Irvings in London , 34 CHAPTER V A. D. 1825 Carlyle in London — Thoughts of marriage — Difficulties — Mrs. Montagu — 'Barry Cornwall' — Allan Cunningham — The break- ing off of the Buller engagement — Irving's hospitality — Seri- ous reflections — Consultations with Miss Welsh — The idea of ' living on a farm ' — Miss Welsh's very different project — Car- lyle's independent spirit — Exceptional position of affairs — Miss Welsh's delicate health — The proposal to farm Craigen- puttock — Final decision left to Miss Welsh — Suspense — Dis- cussion — Modest wants of Carlyle — Miss Welsh demurs at the essential conditions, but still proffers friendship — Carlyle's renewed professions of attachment 43 CHAPTER VI A. D. 1825 Carlyle at Hoddam Hill — Miss Welsh's transference of Craigen- puttock to her mother — Carlyle's personal appearance at this time — Miss Welsh's beauty — Letter from Mrs. Montagu to Miss Welsh — Reference to Edward Irving — An independent spirit — Second letter of Mrs. Montagu — Results — Miss Welsh informs Carlyle of her old attachment to Irving — A woman's appeal — Carlyle's reply — Imperfect understanding — Exciting correspondence — Engagement of Miss Welsh and Thomas Carlyle — Visits to Hoddam Hill and Mainhill — Difficulties as to future residence — Incompatibility between Carlyle and Mrs. Vv^elsh — Misgivings — Correspondence with the Carlyle family — Their removal to Scotsbrig 60 CONTENTS IX CHAPTER VII A. D. 1825-1826 PAGE Loyalty of Miss Welsh — Her sense of being bound to the engage- ment with Carlyle — Proposal to live at Scotsbrig — The actual versus the ideal — Miss Welsh's mind made up — Carlyle's de- termination not to live in the house with Mrs. Welsh — A daughter's devotion and appeal — Renunciation of the cherished wish — The point yielded 71 CHAPTER VIII A. D. 1S2O Mrs. Welsh decides to further the marriage — Herdecision to live with her father at Templand — The Carlyle parents see the im- possibility of their son's bride living at Scotsbrig — A new home to be chosen — Impossible conditions — Blindness of Car- lyle to the actual situation — Trying uncertainty — The idea of the home at Haddington as a residence for the newly-married pair — Painful objections — The idea abandoned — Recurring failure of plans — And a dissimilarity in ideas — The proposed cottage in Annandale 77 CHAPTER IX A. D. 1826 The home at Haddington broken up — Comely Bank furnished by Mrs. Welsh — Immediate difficulty over — Miss Welsh happier — Her pride in Carlyle's genius — Her estimate of him — The marriage at Templand — Natural cravings for the affection of Carlyle on the part of his bride-elect — Her unconventionality — State of mind as to the approaching ceremony — Miss Welsh prepares to put off her mourning for the occasion — The ' three cigars ' — Good resolutions — White gowns — A post-chaise to Comely Bank 83 PART II EARLY MARRIED LIFE CHAPTER X A. D. 1826 Comely Bank — Good resolutions — Social opportunities — A wifely letter — Narrow income — Visit of Dr. John Carlyle — The daily life — The little ' Wednesday evenings ' — Friendship with CONTENTS PAGE Jeffrey — Brighter prospects — Household activities on Mrs. Carlyle's part — Renewed ideas of living at Craigenputtock — Its unsuitability to Mrs. Carlyle's needs — Carlyle visits it with his brother Alick — The tenant about to leave — Letter from Mrs. Carlyle — Loving response 95 CHAPTER XI A. D. 1827 Alexander Carlyle and his sister Mary go to live at Craigen- puttock — The visit of the Carlyles to Templand, Scotsbrig, &c. — Prospect of some professorship for Carlyle — Disappoint- ment — Decision for Craigenputtock — A sacrifice — Bleak and barren situation of the new home — Jeffrey's disapproval of the plan — Mrs. Carlyle's courage — House-moving — Carlyle's despair — Correspondence of Mrs. Carlyle with her old friend, Miss Eliza Stodart — Ideals of married life relinquished — Car- lyle's frequent depression and absorption in his work — The wife's isolation 103 CHAPTER XII A. D. 1827-1829 Cares of bread ' — The first loaf — Visit of the Jeffreys to Craigen- puttock — Mrs. Carlyle's preparatory ride to Dumfries — Friendly advice of Jeffrey to Carlyle — Invitation to Moray Place — The two mountain ponies — Mrs. Carlyle's loneliness — ' Brother Alick ' — A visit to Templand — Letter from the wife to the husband — Visit of the Carlyles to Edinburgh — 22 George Square — Return to ' The Desert ' — Serious illness of Mrs. Carlyle — Visit of Mrs. Welsh — Permanently weakened health no CHAPTER XIII A. D. 1830-1831 Alexander Carlyle leaves Craigenputtock — Second visit of the Jeffreys to the Carlyles in their solitude — Mrs. Carlyle con- fesses her unhappiness to Jeffrey — The eventless life again sets in — The Jeffreys go to London — Carlyle's generosity to his brothers — He accepts help from Jeffrey, and goes to Lon- don to push his literary enterprises — A hard and sad time for Mrs. Carlyle — Ill-health and anxiety — Her verdict on 'Sartor' — Letters from Carlyle to his wife — Irving in the region of the supernatural — Caution of publishers — Good ap- pointment for Dr. John Carlyle — Thoughts of living in Lon- CONTENTS XI PAGE don — Tender letters from Carlyle — Solitude doing its work on the delicate constitution of Mrs. Carlyle — Kindness of Carlyle's mother — Mrs. Carlyle's determination to join her husband in London — Encouragement ii8 CHAPTER XIV A. D. 1831 Mrs. Carlyle's arrival in London — Ampton Street — The Irvings — Ill-health of Mrs. Carlyle — Position with Mrs. Montagu — Meetings with congenial spirits — Carlyle still restless — Death of his father — Impending return to Craigenputtock — Mis- givings — A sad return — Solitary habits — Realisation of the actual by Mrs. Carlyle — Jeffrey's anxiety about Mrs. Carlyle. 125 CHAPTER XV A. D. 1832-1834 Carlyle's letter to his mother — Mrs. Carlyle's overstrained nerves and failing strength — Her letter to Eliza Stodart — Mrs. Welsh's delicate health — Death of Walter Welsh of Templand , — The Carlyles plan a long visit to Edinburgh — The home at 18 Carlton Street, Stockbridge — The ' disgraceful home march' — An ' angel's visit ' at Craigenputtock — Meeting of Emerson and the Carlyles — The relapse into solitude — Living in Lon- don seriously contemplated — Preparations 133 PART III LIFE IN LONDON CHAPTER XVI A. D. 1 834-1 836 The new, yet old life — Unalterable conditions — The removal to London — Leigh Hunt — John Stuart Mill — Allan Cunningham — The circle of friends — Edward Irving's visit — George Rennie and his sister — Eliza Miles — Burning of the MS. of Vol. I. of ' French Revolution ' — Wifely sympathy — ' The Sterlings ' — Sprinklings of foreigners — Domestic difficulties — Visit of Mrs. Welsh — Maternal counsels from Scotsbrig — Godefroi de Cavaignac 145 Xll CONTENT'S CHAPTER XVII A. D. I 836-1 840 PAGE Retrospect on the Scotch journey — Return to Chelsea — Mrs. Carlyle's letter to Sterling — Carlyle's supposed ' lady- admirers ' — The lectures — Success and congratulations — Second visit of Mrs. Welsh — Flight of Carlyle into Annandale — ' The bird and the watch ' — Regrets and ill-health of Mrs. Carlyle — Cheque from Emerson, being proceeds of ' French Revolution ' — John Sterling's health — Reflections thereon — Carlyle again in Scotland — Letter to John Forster : ' Why do women marry ? ' — The ' Lion's wife ! ' 154 CHAPTER XVIII A. D. I 841-1846 Trouble at Templand — Sudden alarm — Summons too late — Mrs. Carlyle receives the news of her mother's death when on her way to nurse her — Carlyle goes to Templand to wind up the estate — Mrs. Welsh buried at Crawford — Heartstricken letter to Mrs. Russell of Thornhill — Troston Rectory and the BuUers — Lady Harriet Baring — Mrs. Carlyle's return to Cheyne Row — First meeting with Miss Jewsbury and the Paulets — ' The three-cornered alliance' — Household 'earthquaking' in Cheyne Row — Mrs. Carlyle's first expressed judgment of Lady Harriet Baring — Stay at Ryde — Father Mathevv — Loss of strength — Need of a quiet place for Carlyle to write in — Failure of the attempt — Letter to John Welsh of Liverpool — Carlyle's hopefulness of his wife's health — Her visit to Liver- pool and Seaforth (the Paulets) — Visit to the Grange — Painful thoughts — ' Cromwell ' concluded 168 CHAPTER XIX A. D. 1846-1847 The dark cloud — Carlyle's anxiety — Mrs. Carlyle seeks counsel — Mazzini's honourable and noble advice — The flight to Sea- forth — Birthday gift and gentle words — Renewed counsels — Renewed bitterness — Lord Houghton's estimate of Lady Har- riet Baring — Contrasts — Sad thoughts — Clough's Poem — Visit to W. E. Forster — Again at Addiscombe — Hopeless misunder- standing — The healing of the wound rendered impossible. . . . 186 CONTENTS Xlll CHAPTER XX A. D. 1 847-1 849 PAGE Return to Cheyne Row — Renewed illness — Bitter reflections — Disappointment — Confidences to Uncle John Welsh — A win- ter's visit of Carlyle to the Barings — Mrs. Carlyle remaining at Cheyne Row — Remonstrances of Miss Jewsbury — Long illness of Mrs. Carlyle — Consultations with John Forster — Visit to Addiscombe — Death of Lord Ashburton — Carlyle's tour in Ireland — The forgotten plaid — Mrs. Carlyle visits Lady Harriet Baring (now Lady Ashburton) at Alverstoke — Bril- liant society but no sleep — Death of John Sterling — Declining health of Jeffrey — Haddington — Betty Braid, the ' old nurse' — Scenes of childhood revisited — 'Mathew Baillie ' — Mrs. Car- lyle visits her father's grave — Sunny Bank — Sad and loving meetings — ' Old Jamie ' — Manchester and Miss Jewsbury — Illness of Helen Welsh of Liverpool 197 CHAPTER XXI A. D. 1849-1851 Introduction to James Anthony Froude — Arthur Clough — Sped- ding — Froude's impressions — Mutual loneliness of the Car- lyles — Mrs. Carlyle's letter to Mrs. Aitken — Note to John Forster — Visit to the Grange by Carlyle — ' Nero ' and ' Shandy' — Nero's letter — Failing ideas — Society felt to be hard work by Mrs. Carlyle — Latter-day pamphlets concluded — Carlyle in Wales — Renewed household ' earthquakings ' at 5 Cheyne Row — Failing strength of Mrs. Carlyle — Sad thoughts — Fruit- less regrets and good resolutions 207 CHAPTER XXII A. D. 1851-1853 Carlyle's visit to the Marshalls — Tennyson and his bride — Dis- gust at the Exhibition of 1851 — Visit to Malvern — Verdict thereon — Miss Gully's letter — Mrs. Carlyle again at the Grange — Repairs at Cheyne Row — Visit to Macready — Car- lyle's ' Life of Frederick ' — He sails for Rotterdam — A seri- ous undertaking — Mrs. Carlyle visits Lady Ashburton — Car- lyle's second German tour — Discomforts — Return to 5 Cheyne Row of Mrs. Carlyle — Further ' earthquakings ' — A second visit of Mrs. Carlyle to the Lady Ashburton — Sleeplessness — Depression — The old letter — Carlyle's return — Commence- jnent of ' Frederick ' — Mrs. Carlyle with the John Carlyles at Moffat — Return to softer conditions at Chelsea 219 XIV CONTENTS CHAPTER XXIII A. D. 1853-1856 PAGE Declining health of old Mrs. Carlyle at Scotsbrig — Mrs. Carlyle hastens to her — Womanly tenderness — The danger staved off — Return to Chelsea — Death of John Welsh of Liverpool — Visit of the Carlyles to the Grange — The ' soundless ' room at Chelsea— Return of Mrs. Carlyle — Noises — Death of Helen Welsh — Death of Carlyle's mother — Wifely sympathy — Miss Jewsbury comes to live in London — Miss Fox — Mazzini's farewell — Mrs. Carlyle's Journal — Deep misery — Sympathy — Budget of a ' Femme Incomprise ' 229 CHAPTER XXIV A. D. 1856-1858 Position between Mrs. Carlyle and Lady Ashburton — The Scotch journey — Carlyle at ' The Gill ' — Mrs. Carlyle at Auchter- tool — ' Seeking and finding ' — Sunny Bank — Tender Remem- brances — The return to London — Death of Lady Ashburton — Tribute to her — Bitter reflections — Scotland again — First readings of a portion of ' Frederick ' — Wifely pride — Mrs. Carlyle's return to Cheyne Row — Discouragement — The kindness of Mr. Henry Larkin — Another visit to Germany — Mrs. Carlyle at Lann Hall — Holm Hill — Letters to Mr. Lar- kin — Cheyne Row once more — Second marriage of Lord Ash- burton — Mrs, Carlyle's thoughts of her mother — The visit to ' Humbie ' and Auchtertool — Carlyle again in Annandale with his own people 243 CHAPTER XXV A. D. 1 859-1 860 Life in Cheyne Row — Mrs. Carlyle's return — George Rennie's death — Letters of Mrs. Carlyle on the subject to Mrs. Dinning of Belford, Northumberland — Carlyle at Thurso Castle — Mrs. Carlyle, with Lady Stanley of Alderley, eji roicte for Scotland — Holm Hill — Misunderstanding as to date of Carlyle's return — Mrs. Carlyle returns to Cheyne Row unnecessarily — Car- lyle's remorse — Two servants kept 249 CHAPTER XXVI A. D. 1861-1863 Mrs. Carlyle's craving for her ' one little maid-servant ' — Death of Arthur Hugh Clough — Mrs. Carlyle's visit to Ramsgate with Miss Jewsbury — Sleeplessness — Longings to visit Mrs. CONTENTS XV PAGE Russell — Estimate of men — Miss Barnes' marriage — Deaths of dear friends — Folkestone — Mrs. Carlyle accomplishes her visit to Holm Hill and Craigenvilla — ' Old Betty' — Visit to Auchtertool — Home again — Illness of Lord Ashburton in Paris — Mrs. Carlyle's wish to go and be useful — Sad letter to ' Old Betty ' — The Carlyles at the Grange — Neuralgia or rheumatism causing Mrs. Carlyle increasing pain — The acci- dent soon after the return to Cheyne Row — Carlyle's account — Mr. Froude's account — Mr. Larkin's account 267 CHAPTER XXVH A. D. 1863-1864 Consequences — The first re-appearance of the invalid — Mr. and Mrs. Froude spend a bright evening with the Carlyles — Mr. Simmonds — Ominous signs — Death of Grace Welsh — Decreas- ing strength of Mrs. Carlyle — Passage from the ' Reminiscen- ces ' — Unaidable pain — Maggie Welsh — The strange nurse — Invitation to St. Leonarcs 278 CHAPTER XXVHI A. D. 1864 Mrs. Carlyle's resolution — Mr. Larkin — The terrible journey — Maggie Welsh — Carlyle at Chelsea — Regrets — Despair — The furnished house — Maggie Welsh recalled to Liverpool — Mary Craik — Sad bulletins — Carlyle's visits — Calls of friends — The sufferer too weak to see them — Mrs. Carlyle writes to her r^ aunts — Insomnia — Heavy days — Futile plans of change — Mrs, ^ Carlyle's horror of returning to Chelsea — Miss Bromley's kindness — Mrs. Carlyle starts for Scotland with Dr. John Carlyle — Spending a night in London on her way — Mrs. Aus- tin — Removal of Mrs. Carlyle to Holm Hill — Her dread of travelling home — The return — The worst over 285 CHAPTER XXIX A. D. I 864-1 865 The brougham — Mrs. Carlyle's joy at her husband's gift — Illness again — Visit of the Carlyles to Lady Ashburton at Seaton, Devon — Soothing impressions — Discomfort again at Cheyne Row — The 'hereditary housemaid' — At Holm Hill once more — Suffering health — Erskine of Linlathen — Home duties at Cheyne Row — Depression — Letter to Miss Jewsbury 294 XVI CONTENTS CHAPTER XXX A. D. 1865-1866 PAGE Carlyle offered the Lord Rectorship of Edinburgh University — His wife's wish that he should accept it — His election — His journey northwards with Professor Tyndall — The last parting — Professor Huxley — Mr. Erskine of Linlathen and Carlyle's brothers gathered in Edinburgh — The great day — Immense success — The telegram — The dinner at Forster's — Interview with Professor Tyndall — Excitement — The projected tea- party — The afternoon drive — Sudden death of Mrs. Carlyle — Carlyle receives the news at Dumfries — The unopened letter — Funeral at the Abbey Kirk of Haddington — Epitaph — Re- flections 301 APPENDIX I. The Welsh Ancestry 309 II. Dr. John Welsh 310 III. The Death of Dr. John Welsh 311 IV. Mrs. Carlyle and De Quincey 313 V. Carlyle's Account of the Baking of the First Loaf. . 314 VI. Verses by Mrs. Carlyle 3^5 VII. Carlyle Localities in Edinburgh 316 VIII. A Remembrance of Sunny Bank 3^9 IX. Letter to Mrs. Carlyle from her Husband 320 X. Extract from a Letter to Mr. Carlyle on his Wife's Death 321 XL Carlyle at the Grave of his Wife 323 INDEX 325 LIFE OF JANE WELSH CARLYLE PART I GIRLHOOD' CHAPTER I A. D. iSoi— i8ig Early days in Haddington — The Welsh family — Dr. John Welsh — His marriage — John Welsh of Liverpool — The home at Haddington — The only child — Her beauty and talent — The rival grandfathers — School-days at Haddington — Jeannie's love of danger and ad- venture — Edward Irving as private tutor — Early signs of orig- inality in the ' only child.' Human beings whose gifts and qualities barely reach the average level of mediocrity are, now and then, apt to acquire, during their lifetime, a factitious halo of importance or of interest, attaching to them less through any special merit of their own, than through some circumstance of a passing or local nature extraneous to their veritable character. Possibly, however, it is of more frequent occurrence that those who are really remarkable, who are undoubtedly ' giants among the pigmies' by virtue of surpassing intellectual and moral attributes, fail of a true appreciation among their fellows, or receive but partial recognition, even at the hands of those privileged to intimacy with them. It would seem that these brilliant natures, specially open to unfavourable influences as they too often are, seldom realise their own highest possibil- ities — do not come to blossoming, but, obeying an ironical 2 GIRLHOOD decree of fate, veil their bright presence in some mysterious cloud of suffering or inevitable misinterpretation, and so move amongst us, hidden from our true sight, till the end comes, when they suddenly stand revealed to our unobserv- ant eyes. Such has been the case, to a large extent, with the subject of this memoir. Nearly a quarter of a century has passed away since the death of Jane Welsh Carlyle, and, except among those who knew her intimately — a sadly-diminished number, alas! — there has been comparatively scant recognition of her brilliant powers and altogether unique and charming personality. The publication by Mr. Froude, in 1883, of the 'Letters and Memorials,' gave us a revelation. These letters, so truly remarkable for style and power, for humour, pathos and orig- inality, were read with the deepest interest. In their con- ciseness and keen intellectuality, in their vivid word-painting, in their fearless frankness, they present a Rembrandt-like portrait of a woman, touched with strongest lights and deepest tragic shades — a faithful and an unerring portrait, self- depicted. Jane Baillie Welsh was born at Haddington on July 14, 1801. Her ancestors on the father's side could be traced back to a certain famous John Welsh, minister of Ayr, who married the youngest daughter of John Knox. Then came a long line of John Welshes who, through many generations, had been lairds of Craigenputtock, that ' Hill of the Hawk ' so impressed on our minds, the high moorland farm standing bleak on the Dunscore Moors, sixteen miles from Dumfries, with its dark sheltering pines and its few acres of grass-land — a green island set in a wilderness of heathery hills, sheep- walk, and undrained peat-bog. In the rebellion of 1745, the then John Welsh, laird of Craigenputtock, was among the sympathizers, and narrowly escaped comniitting himself. The son of this same laird died young, leaving his widow at Craigenputtock with one child, another John Welsh, whom she, by-and-by, sent to a tutor Lairds of craigenputtocjc x in Nithsdale, and afterwards to Tynron school, which was in good repute in those days. But the young laird's education ended somewhat abruptly with his marriage, at seventeen years of age, to a Miss Hunter, a year younger than himself, daughter of the farmer with whom he boarded whilst attend- ing Tynron school. This girl-bride was the grandmother, in later days, of Jane Baillie Welsh, and her bridegroom was afterwards John of Penfillan — that grandfather so beloved by his bright little granddaughter. In the early days, Craigenputtock was the home of this very youthful couple. In that solid, gaunt farmhouse, with a small income and many struggles, the adventurous pair contrived to bring up their large family of fourteen children. We are not surprised that pecuniary straits compelled the young man to sell part of the estate, namely Nether Craigen- puttock, in order to pay his sister's portion, and, long years afterwards, Craigenputtock proper, to his own eldest son, John Welsh, then Dr. John Welsh of Haddington, and father of Jane Baillie Welsh.* This eldest son was born at Craigenputtock in 1776, and early went to Edinburgh University, where his intelligence and distinguished merits were not overlooked. He was ap- prenticed to one of the celebrated brothers, John or Charles Bell; Mr. Froude thinks most probably to Dr. John Bell, as Sir Charles Bell was only two years the senior of John Welsh. When but twenty years of age, the young surgeon was rec- ommended for a commission in the Perthshire Fencibles, a post which he held for two years. In 1798 he came to Had- dington, and shortly thereafter joined Mr. George Somner, a surgeon in that town, in partnership. The practice was car- ried on very successfully, under the title of Somner Welsh. Mr. Somner, however, died in June 1815, Dr. Welsh having previously assumed as a partner Mr. Thomas Howden, a former apprentice, of the firm. An annuity of 200/. a year was paid by Dr. Welsh to his retired partner for some years, * See Appendix I. 4 GIRLHOOD and on the death of Dr. Welsh, Mr. Howden assumed as a partner Benjamin Welsh, M. D., the younger brother. This partnership continued till 1826, when Dr. Benjamin Welsh died. Dr. John Welsh was a surgeon of great skill, always ready to relieve suffering humanity; he was greatly loved and esteemed by all who came in contact with him. He was a man of fine disposition, stately presence and gentle manners, unselfish and noble-minded. He rapidly made a fortune, and, as we have seen, in order to help his numerous brothers and sisters, actually purchased the family estate of Craigen- puttock before it should come to him by inheritance, paying off all incumbrances, with the intention of retiring to it him- self, on relinquishing his medical practice. He, no doubt, looked forward to carrying on the family tradition by settling in his birthplace, and in due time leaving another John Welsh there to succeed him. But this was never realised. In the year 1800 Dr. John Welsh married. He chose a wife who was also a Welsh, though the families were entirely unrelated. Miss Grace Welsh boasted as famous an ancestry as himself, if tradition could be trusted. Dr. John Welsh could trace his descent to John Knox, and the lady he mar- ried traced her pedigree, through her mother, once the beautiful Miss Baillie, back to William Wallace. Grace Welsh's father, Walter Welsh, was a prosperous stock-farmer, then living at Capelgill, on Moffat Water. When his daughter Grace, or, as the Scotch sometimes call this pretty name, 'Grizzie,' married her young doctor, and went to live at Haddington, old Walter moved into Nithsdale, and took the farm then known as Templand, near Penfillan. Thus the two grandfathers of the yet unborn Jane Baillie Welsh, connected only through the marriage of their children, became close neighbours and friends. The beautiful Miss Baillie, Walter Welsh's wife, died early. She it was who came of Wallace. It was a son of hers and THE DOCTOR AND HIS BRIDE ^ Walter's, another John Welsh, who went into business in Liverpool, where, after a time of prosperity, he fell into trouble through the dishonesty of a partner, who, alas! was also his brother-in-law-elect. Left to bankruptcy, with a debt of 12,000/., John Welsh gallantly remade his fortune, and after eight hard years' struggle invited his creditors to dinner, and each man found under his cover a cheque for the full amount of his claim. There must have been good fight- ing material, and honour withal, in the Welsh blood that came of Wallace. But let me turn to the home in Haddington, where Dr. John Welsh brought his beautiful bride; for, by all accounts, Mrs. Welsh must have been a lovely woman, 'tall, aquiline, and commanding.' In character she seems to have been emotional and sensitive, easily saddened, and variable, per- haps, in her moods. More is known of Dr. John Welsh, who must in every way have realised his wife's preconceived ideals, of which, doubtless, she had many and lofty ones. From the description of him handed down by those who knew him, he was of noble, distinguished presence, tall, highly graceful, self-possessed, dignified, strikingly handsome, with black hair, bright hazel eyes, and lively and expressive features. More noteworthy, however, were his moral charac- ter and his medical sagacity, which combined in the consist- ent and honourable man, faithful at all points, and universally esteemed. The home in Haddington was not only com- fortable and well appointed — elegance and refinement were added to ease of circumstances. Dr. Welsh led a busy life in his profession, his fatigues being much increased by the many miles of riding incidental to a country practice, which caused him to have never less than three strong saddle-horses at his command. He was punctual to a minute in the keeping of appointments, inflex- ible where right was concerned, and possessed of the strong pride of independence. He was a loving and wise husband to his beautiful Grace, and a devoted father to the one child 6 GIRLHOOD born to them — the little Jeannie, whose birth, on July 14, 1 801, has been already chronicled. This only child must have shown to the eyes of those who loved her, very early indications of her uncommon nature and qualities — points no less noticeable than, and far out- weighing in importance, the unusual beauty apparent from the beginning. She was the child of remarkable people, and traced her ancestry through generations of original and strik- ingly superior characters; it was not wonderful that she should present a remarkable, almost unique type in her own person. Her curling black hair, large black eyes, now shining with soft mockery, now softly sad; clear pale skin, broad forehead, and nose the least bit retrousse^ give us a picture of this arch, gay, mobile little creature, with her slight, airy, and graceful figure in harmony with the spiritual face. Those who knew her, speak of her as beautiful to the very end of her life. Such beauty as could call forth this uni- versal tribute must have been undeniably pronounced. Such beauty as could survive in triumph the long martyrdom of suffering to which this bright creature was predestined, must have traced its truest source to the spirit within, whence it could still shine forth amid ruins. Even in early childhood it was felt by those around her that the most remarkable gifts of this fairy-like Jeannie were those of the mind. Her ex- treme intellectual vivacity startled them all. And no wonder! It does not seem, however, that the lively child was spoiled by over-indulgence, had the mother inclined to that fault. Dr. John Welsh v/atched with ceaseless care over this pre- cious only child, and strict obedience was the rule in the Haddington household. Still, there was scope enough for natural playfulness. The nearness of two grandfathers must have offered many opportunities for the little lady, and she was a special favourite of Walter of Templand, whom she oc- casionally visited. Her Mitlle name' of 'Pen' meant ' Penfillan Jeannie," by which old Walter always called her. * See Appendix III. ./ ''P REVO CIO us CHILD 7 No doubt there was a certain rivalry between the two grand- fathers in attracting the notice of this precocious and gifted little child; a born coquette we may suppose her, even from her babyhood, with that wonderful caprice of baby-girls so intensely amusing to grown-up people, so half-pathetic and altogether human when considered from some points of view. Who has not seen the dimpled despot of a year old, safely enthroned in the arm of mother or father, give, or passion- ately refuses the kiss, contract the whole face with sudden frown, or dispense bewitching smiles, and offer or sharply withdraw the dimpled rose-leaf hand? Some such picture might be drawn of this baby Jeannie, this only one, this sole tyrant in the house at Haddington. Old Walter had certain peculiarities of speech, had a ' burr ' in pronouncing his * r,' and spoke in the old style generally, which was duly noted by the quick little child. When about six years old, her grandfather had taken her with him for a ride on a quiet little pony. When they had gone as far as was desirable, Walter, in his own characteristic dialect, said: * Now we will go back, by so-and-so, to vah-chry the shane ! ' < And where did you ride to. Pen ? ' asked the company at dinner. 'We rode to so, and then to so,' she answered punctually, ' and then returned by so to vah-chry the shane ! ' At which, no doubt, old Walter joined the general gaiety, with that laugh of his characterised later on by Carlyle as one of the prettiest laughs in the world, with ' something audible in it, as of flutes and harps, as if the vanquished themselves were invited or compelled to partake in the triumph.' Something of old Walter's nature was, undoubtedly, inherit- ed by Jeannie Welsh. He is described by Carlyle as of ' hot, impatient temper, breaking out into flashes of lightning if you touched him the wrong way; but they were flashes only, never bolts.' A lovable man he must have been, with his 'laughing eyes, beautiful, light humour, and features, mass- ive yet soft, so quickly lighted up by a bright, dimpling chuckle.' 8 GIRLHOOD Less is known of Jeannie's other grandfather, John of Penfillan, who is described as a singular and interesting man, devout, upright, honourably respected and esteemed, and cer- tainly beloved by Jeannie as she grew older. His marriage into the Hunter family had possibly failed to develop what was most attractive in him, as we are told that Jeannie never liked the Hunters, and used in later days to divide her uncles into ' Welshes ' (these were uncles on her mother's side of the house) and 'Welshes with a cross of Hunter' (these were the members of the Penfillan family). Time passed on, and Jeannie began to attend Haddington school, which stood only a furlong from her father's house. Here boys and girls were taught, but in separate school- rooms for the most part; only arithmetic and algebra, in which the little girl becam.e specially proficient, they learned together. Jeannie had many devoted slaves among the boys. But she was of a fiery temper, and could not always keep the peace. Differences arose now and then. A lad one day was impertinent. She doubled her little fist, hit him hard on the nose, and made it bleed. The penalty for fighting in school was flogging. At the noise of the scuffle the master came in, saw the marks of the fray, and asked who was the de- linquent. All were silent. The boys could not tell tales of a girl. The master threatened to thrash the whole school, when the small Jeannie looked up, and said: ' Please, sir, it was I!' The master's gravity gave way, and, laughing, he told her she was ' a little deevil,' and sent her back to the girls' room. There is a lifelike description of Jeannie about this time from Carlyle's pen. She may have been seven or eight years old, and was attending the Haddington school. Thither daily, at an early hour, might be seen my little Jeannie, tripping nimbly and daintily along, satchel in hand, dressed by her mother, who had a great talent that way, in taste- ful simplicity — neat bit of pelisse, light blue sometimes, fastened EARL V AMBITIONS 9 with black belt; dainty little cap, perhaps beaver-skin, with flap turned up, and, I think, one at least with modest little plume in it. The child was ambitious as well as keenly intelligent. She rapidly mastered the ordinary branches of learning, and demanded to 'learn Latin like a boy! ' But there was a dif- ference of opinion on the subject at home. Mrs. Welsh op- posed her; but her father, who thought well of her talents, was willing she should have her way. Jeannie took the matter into her own hands. She found out a lad in Had- dington school who taught her to repeat a Latin noun of the first declension. Armed with this weapon, she hid herself, one night when she was supposed to be in bed, under the drawing-room table. When opportunity offered, her small voice, from under the tablecover, broke silence with — ' Pemia, a pen; Fennce, of a pen,' &c. And, amid the general amuse- ment, she crept out, ran to her father, and repeated her sim- ple petition, * I want to learn Latin; please let me be a boy! * and was no doubt caught up in his arms amid kisses, which settled the Latin question. But this desire for manly learning, and this ability to dis- pense salutary chastisement with her little doubled fist, did not preclude Jeannie's very feminine qualities from early declaring themselves. It was a woman's soul, a woman's nature, essentially, in this Ariel of a child with the deep dark eyes and fiery temper. A very characteristic anecdote of her childhood finds place here. There was a dancing-school in Haddington, when Jeannie, then not more than six, had been selected to perform some ' Pas seul,' beautiful and difficult; she was anxious in her little heart to do it well. Dressed to perfection, she was carried across the muddy street in a clothes basket. All went well till her turn came. The little child stood waiting the music. Music began, Alas! the wrong music; impossible to dance that 'Pas seul!' to it. She made signs of distress — music ceased— took counsel, and began again; again wrong, helplessly, flatly impossible. lO GIRLHOOD Beautiful little Jane, alone against the world, forsaken by the music, but not by her presence of mind, plucked up her little skirt, flung it over her head, and curtseying in that veiled man- ner, withdrew from the adventure, amid general applause. There is great significance in this incident: the brave, dignified reception of defeat, the controlling of the child- heart in its bursting pain of disappointment, the ready device to hide the tears of mortification — all these were unusual signs in a child of tender years, when most youngsters would have openly blubbered. And perhaps mothers would rather see their own little ones comfort themselves thus. Jeannie Welsh could not so disburden her child-heart! Later on in her life, when its deep music went hopelessly wrong, when it became manifestly impossible to fit in its dif- ficult evolutions to any harmony of existing accompaniment, when preconceived schemes were defeated, and the eager heart could plan no more, it was granted to her, vanquished, to withdraw swiftly, silently into impenetrable shelter. Now the child-spirit was endlessly brave, and feared nothing. Very amusing is the account of her attack on a horrid and alarming turkey-cock she was apt to encounter at a gate through which she passed on her way to school. Her alarm at this hideous bird grew almost overpowering, and she hated the thought of living in fear of him. On one oc- casion, as she passed this gate, several labourers and boys were near, who seemed to enjoy the thought of seeing the ill-conducted bird run at her. Jeannie's spirit was roused. She gathered herself together, and made up her mind. The turkey ran at her, gobbling and swelling; she suddenly darted at him, seized him by the throat, and swung him round — no small feat for a slender little lady of her age. But from the first she loved a sense of danger. Near the school was the Nungate Bridge, whose arch overhangs the water at a considerable height. There was a narrow ledge on the parapet, the crossing of which was an uncommonly dangerous feat, to which the boys now and then dared one MASTER AND PUPIL 1 1 another. One fine morning Jeannie got up early, went to the Nungate Bridge, lay down on her face on this ledge, and crawled from one end to the other, at the imminent risk of breaking her neck by a fall into the river beneath. This exploit, with others like it, must be taken as plain proof of a dauntless courage which gave way only under trial of unusual severity, and presented to the end some of the old daring, which was never extinguished altogether. With such energy of character, it is not surprising that at nine years old Jeannie was reading ' Virgil.' Her first teacher was Edward Irving, the Annandale youth, whose brilliant promise was not yet darkened by the shadow of dis- aster. Irving had been sent in 1810, by two learned profess- ors, to teach school in Haddington. Fresh from collegiate honors, attractive and gifted, Irving was soon intimate in Dr. Welsh's family, which took the lead in Haddington, socially as well as intellectually. Dr. Welsh recognized Irving's fine qualities, and treated him as an elder son. He was trusted with the private education of Jeannie, as well as with the management of the school. He carefully watched over the little girl's studies, and would take her out on fine nights to show her the stars, and teach her wonderful things about them. More interesting master and pupil surely were seldom known than these two, both so ignorant of the wild and dark future looming ahead of them. These peaceful, unawakened days in sleepy little Haddington must often have come back in memory to them both in the days when the ' tangled skein of life' proved utterly confused. Edward Irving, when appointed master of what was called the mathematical school in Haddington, was, as Mrs. Oliphant tells us, between seventeen and eighteen years of age, a handsome, ruddy youth, boyish still, in spite of his inches; ardent and full of hope. His personality was at all times a striking one, his manner, in these early days, frank and win- ning; he was, indeed, singularly attractive. Born in August 1792, he had been sent when yet almost a child to the Uni- 1 2 GIRLHOOD versity of Edinburgh, and had done well; but it early became necessary that he should be placed in some position of use- fulness, and, recommended by Sir John Leslie and Professor Christison, he obtained the mastership in the new school in Haddington, his first appointment. He was well able to give what was then considered the decidedly masculine education desired by Dr. John Welsh for his only daughter. Such an education would not provoke comment in these days, when girls aspire to, and attain, university honors. It was otherwise in Jeannie Welsh's childhood, and Mrs. Welsh considered Latin and mathematics sadly out of place in the little girl's education. Herself an accomplished and somewhat intellectual woman, she had kept to the old tradi- tions, and desired nothing further for Jeannie. But the father divined his child's unusual capacity, and determined that it should have scope. The opportunity of private teach- ing from the young divinity student was all that could be desired. Irving was expected to leave a daily report of his pupil's work and progress. It is recorded that on one occa- sion, when the work had been eminently unsatisfactory, he paused remorsefully, and at last, with a pitiful look at the eager face beside him, cried, 'Jane! my heart is broken, but it must be pessinia ' — a terrible blow to the small offender, no doubt, but more j>ainful to the tutor. Edward Irving was then a young man, his pupil only a child, but doubtless those subtle links of sympathy which bound these two natures so closely together in later life were formed in those early days, when the impetuous, bright child sought her knowledge^ from the tall, handsome youth, and ripened her powers under the deep interest which entered into his teachings. Jeannie worked with eagerness and con- centration. She would rise at five in the morning to study, and in the fear of sleeping too long, would tie a weight to one of her ancles that she might awake. She was at this time a most healthy little girl, but did much to injure her health, in her zeal and her ignorance. She took greatly to THE 'PAGAN' PHASE n mathematics, and would, if undetected, sit up half the night over a problem. A story is told of her being greatly per- plexed by a proposition in Euclid, and going to bed at last in despair over it. In a dream, it is said, Jeannie got up and did it, and went to bed again. And in the morning, when the consciousness of the dream had vanished, there stood the solution of the problem as testimony of what she had done. No need to point out that Jeannie's brain, eager little soul, was too active — and such it was to the end! Under Irving's tutorship she advanced rapidly in Latin, and the effect of * Virgil ' and other studies was.^ she says in one of her old note-books, to change her religion, and make her into a sort of Pagan. It is strictly true (she says), and it was not alone my religion that these studies influenced, but my whole being was imbued with them. Would I prevent myself from doing a foolish or cowardly thing, I didn't say to myself, ' you mustn't, or if you do you will go to hell hereafter,' nor yet, ' if you do you will be whipt here'; but I said to myself, simply and grandly, 'a Roman would not have done it,' and that sufficed under ordi- naiy temptations. . , . But the classical world in which I lived and moved was best indicated in the tragedy of my doll. It had been intimated to me by one whose wishes were law [probably Edward Irving], that a young lady in 'Virgil' should, for con- sistency's sake, drop her doll. So the doll, being judged, must be made an end of; and I, ' doing what I would with my own,' like the Duke of Newcastle, quickly decided how. She should end as Dido ended, that doll — as the doll of a young lady in ' Virgil ' should end. With her dresses, which were many and sumptuous, her four-posted bed, a faggot or two of cedar allu- mettes, a few sticks of cinnamon and a nutmeg, I, noti ignara futtiri, constructed her funeral pile — sub auras, of course; and this new Dido, being placed in the bed with my help, spoke through my lips the sad last words of Dido the First, which I had then all by heart. . . , The doll having thus spoken, pallida 7norte futiira, kindled the pile, and stabbed herself with a pen- knife, by way of Tyrian sword. Then, however, in the moment of seeing my poor doll blaze up — for, being stuffed with bran, she 14 GIRLHOOD took fire, and was all over in no time — in that supreme moment my affection for her blazed up also, and I shrieked, and would have saved her, and could not, and went on shrieking till every- body within hearing flew to me and bore me off in a plunge of tears — an epitome of most of one's ' heroic sacrifices,' it strikes me, magnanimously resolved on, ostentatiously gone about, re- pented of at the last moment, and bewailed with an outcry. Thus was my inner world at that period three-fourths old Roman and one fourth old Fairy. It is hardly fair to relate this remarkable and touching story, with the addition of bitter comment added by after- wisdom and experience. Mothers, as a rule, would prefer their little girls to adopt a less heroic, simpler, and more merely mischievous method of destroying their dolls. I can- not but suppose Irving to have been the person whose wishes were law in the matter of the doll. So harsh an edict sounds less like the father than the schoolmaster. The note-book which contains this tale of the funeral pyre contains also a long story of her first child-love, told with infinite grace. When Jeannie was fourteen she wrote a tragedy, with cer- tain youthful faults, it is true, but still showing ability that was remarkable for her age. This was her only dramatic effort; but she often wrote verses, inheriting this pleasant gift from her mother. Mrs. Welsh's verses seem to have been simply soft, sweet, and musical, after the manner, per- haps, of poor ' L. E. L.*; while there was depth and power, and altogether wider intellectual range, in those of Jeannie herself. The verses written in later life, and sent to Lord Jeffrey, are perfect in literary form, and possess the higher charm of strong pathos. But there was never anything com- monplace in Jane Welsh. In considering the home influences under which she spent her early years, I cannot imagine that the relation between mother and daughter was perfectly harmonious. Mrs. Welsh was capricious and arbitrary, beautiful, impulsive, and not overwise perhaps. Her father-in-law, John of Penfillan, is FA MIL Y PEA CE DIFFICUL T 1 5 reported to have observed her * in fifteen different humours in one evening'; though this v/as, probably, to some extent, mere satirical exaggeration. Still, there was, presumably, some basis for the remark, and fewer humours than fifteen will result in collision in family life, where the elements are strong, fiery, and few. Mrs. Welsh probably shared the faults of many beautiful women — was somewhat hard to please, variable, not easy to live calmly and evenly with. And as she grew older she may have been exacting, unrea- sonable in some respects, though always of good and exem- plary conduct. When Jeannie was a girl, the two strong wills must cer- tainly have clashed now and then, and the result would hardly show itself in meek filial submission. But there was a deep, almost a passionate, attachment between the mother and daughter, a fact not in any way inconsistent with the want of perfect harmony, but rather explanatory of it: as it is only between those who love each other that such critical sensitiveness is ever developed. Indifference is an easier atmosphere in which to live at peace; and no indifference was possible between these two natures of quick affections and quick tempers. The experience is a common one, and readily understood. 1 6 GIRLHOOD CHAPTER II A. D. 1819—1821 Strong attachment between the father and daughter — The last talk — Sudden illness and death of Dr. John Welsh — Jeannie's ' Pagan- ism ' — Serious thoughts — ' Early letters ' to Eliza Stodart — Board- ing-school in Edinburgh — Active tendencies — Teaching — Char- acteristics more plainly shown — The loss of the father's influence — Haddington felt to be dull — Early Lovers — Power of language. But Jeannie's strongest attachment was to her father. Dr. John Welsh must have inspired, not only deep, admiring reverence in his child, but a love that was truly the strongest feeling in her heart, the master-passion in her young nature for many years — one of those unique sympathies, never to be replaced, even by tender ties of another kind. This loyal nature of Jane Welsh preserved through life the freshness of these natural affections; could never bear to see even the chimney-tops of Templand, after her mother had died there, and returned to mourn at her father's grave in Haddington, thirty years after his death, with all the pain and faithful love that a recent loss could have called forth. She lost her father just at the time when his influence would have been most valuable and active in forming her character. It was when Jane Welsh was little over eighteen years of age that, one September afternoon, she had an ever- memorable drive with her father, who had a distant patient to visit. It was not unusual for him to take his daughter with him on these country drives. But this was destined to be a special day; for it vras, in fact, the end of that close and loving intercourse of father and daughter, and not, as the eager girl supposed, only the beginning of a deeper and yet THE FIRST GRIEF 17 dearer link between them; for on this day the usually silent man spoke much, and long, and eloquently, to his Jeannie, and with a depth of feeling which struck her, at the time, as something new and impressive. He told her she was a good girl, capable of being useful and precious to him and the circle she would live in; that she must summon her utmost judgment and seriousness to choose her path, and be what he expected of her; that he did not think she had yet seen the life-partner that would be worthy of her — in short, that he expected her to be wise, as well as good-looking and good; all this in a tone and manner that filled her poor little heart with surprise, and a kind of sacred joy, coming from the man she, of all men, revered.* These fatherly counsels, so heartfelt, so entirely suited to Jeannie's needs, were all she ever had from that time — for ever. He had spoken his last to her; on the morrow, possi- bly on the same evening. Dr. Welsh developed symptoms of malignant typhoid fever, caught from a patient. The illness being of so deadly a kind, he at once, with a physician's in- stinct, gave orders that Jeannie should not enter his room. Unselfish to the last, he denied himself the solace of her bright presence. The girl, in her violent grief and anguish, did, however, on one occasion, force herself into the sick- room, but he ordered her to leave it, and she obeyed. But all that night she lay on the stairs, outside his door, in agony. On the fourth day he passed away. The treatment of this terrible disease was but imperfectly understood at that time, even by the best medical authorities. A brother of Dr. John Welsh, himself a medical man, was called in, and, in his anxiety to save lite, had bled the sufferer profusely, which may or may not have hastened the fatal event. Thus, at forty-three years of age. Dr. John Welsh was cut off, in Sep- tember 1819, and the home at Haddington broken and changed, f * ' Reminiscences,' II. 94. \ Appendix 3, on ' Dr. John Welsh's lUness and Death.' 1 5 GIRLHOOD Before sorrow had been tasted, the lively girl had spoken laughingly of her ' Paganism ' ; but other thoughts now quickened within her. As is often the case with bright and mobile natures, there lay in Jane Welsh a real seriousness, too deep for words, and only evident when she was stirred by passionate emotion. Writing to Mrs. Welsh of Penfillan a fortnight after Dr. Welsh's death, she says: — This has indeed been an unexpected and overwhelming blow. My father's death was a calamity I almost never thought of. If on any occasion the idea did present itself to me, it was imme- diately repelled as being too dreadful to be realized for many, many years, and too painful to occupy any present place in my thoughts. Until this misfortune fell upon me I never knew what it was to be really unhappy. . . . You, my dear grandmother, have had many trials; but, if I mistake not, you will still remember the bitterness of \.\\& first, above all others; you will still be able to recall the feeling of disappointment and despair which you experienced when calam- ity awoke you from your dream of security, and dispelled the infatuation which led you to expect that you alone were to be exempted from this world's misery. But you are good, and I am judging of your feelings by my own. When young as I am, perhaps you were not, as I am, thoughtless, and unprepared for the chastisement of the Divine Power. Here we find the little formality of expression induced by the fact of writing to an elderly relative, though the pain of the young heart, even here, speaks clearly through the careful phrases. A much more natural expression of grief is found in the first of that most valuable collection of ' Early Letters of Jane Welsh Carlyle,' edited by David G. Ritchie, fellow and tutor of Jesus College, Oxford. These letters, the bulk of which are addressed to Mr. Ritchie's great-aunt, form a most important addition to our knowledge of Jane Welsh. In fact, they represent absolutely all the actual material for any account of her during the years when most of them were written. And they are highly significant, as well as charac- teristic. A CHERISHED FRIEND 19 Miss Eliza Stodart, great-aunt of the editor, was a niece of Mr. Bradfute, a partner in the firm of Bell and Bradfute, of Edinburgh. The young lady lived with her uncle at 22 George Square, and there was a very close friendship between her and Jane Welsh. The friendship included Mr. Bradfute, who is often named ' Bradie ' in these letters, and has sundry kisses sent him in Jane's letters to Eliza, or her ' Dear Bess,' or * Dear Angel Bessy,' as she often calls her friend. It is only since the publication of the * Early Letters ' that Mr. D. G. Ritchie has received information which clears up a point that was doubtful in Jane Welsh's earlier history. A correspondent — Mr. A. K. Mackenzie, of Ravelrig, Balerno, Midlothian — places it beyond all doubt that Jane Welsh was at a boarding-school in Edinburgh. Mr. Mackenzie's wife's aunt, Mrs. Walrond, of Calder Park, (maiden name, Jane Hastings), was at Miss Hall's boarding-school in Edinburgh with Jane Welsh. * Miss Hall's,* writes Mr. Mackenzie, *was a well-known school, latterly in Great King Street; but as that street could scarcely have been built before 1820, it must have been elsewhere before that.* Here is one little point in Jane Welsh's history fortunately cleared up. Evi- dently Mrs. Welsh had been anxious that her brilliant daugh- ter should have what was then termed a '■finishing^ — an oppor- tunity, namely, of acquiring certain feminine accomplishments and elegances not easily attainable in the Haddington school, yet needful to blend with the rather masculine education she had already received. We find a confirmation of this episode of ' boarding-school ' in an allusion in a letter written by Mrs. Carlyle, and dated Craigenputtock, November, 1829. She writes to Miss Stod- art: *I liked Edinburgh last time as well as I did at sixteen! (you know how well that was), and cried as much at leaving it.' We see the reference now, and how natural it was that Jeannie Welsh, while at Miss Hall's school, may have occa- sionally gone ' to 22 George Square on Saturdays, and taken 20 GIRLHOOD her gloves and stockings to be mended,' for this was always the tradition in the Stodart family, and appears well supported by fact. This fixes the date of ' boarding-school ' as prob- ably 1817-18. No doubt those were happy days. Eliza Stodart, the recipient of Jane Welsh's early letters, was evi- dently much trusted and loved by her friend. The grief of the young is sharp and bitter. We do not wonder to find Jane Welsh cast down by her father's death, and passionately sad. She describes the first drive to Had- dington Church after the funeral; the hatefulness of the changed, yet familiar aspect of the scene. Colour and warmth had left the well-known surroundings looked on by those haggard young eyes. ' I looked out only once,' she says, ' and I thought the stones were covered with snow, everything looked so white and bleak!' And this was in early golden-autumn days. In her next letter she says, * God bless you, and preserve you from such a loss as mine.' But hers was not a nature to sink into apathy and mere selfish repining. It was not long ere her instincts of activity reasserted themselves in the efforts she made to teach her Aunt Elizabeth — French, drawing, and geography. Two other pupils, young girls, joined in receiving the lessons. Nor was the fair instructress herself idle in self-improvement, but energetically studied Italian and French, always with the sense that it was something done in memory of her ' adored father,' and 'first blessing!' Jane Welsh was keenly sensible of the advantages she owed to the sound education with which her father had pro- vided her. The habits of study in which she had been train- ed, were now priceless, and helped her to begin life without that father, whose life had such a hold upon her own. The mother and daughter continued for some time at Haddington, able to live in comfort, even with elegance. After settling a small annuity on his widow, Dr. Welsh left everything be- longing to him to his daughter. Thus she was, in a moder- DE VEL OP ME NT OF CHA RA CTER 2 I ate sense, an heiress, and the object of numberless matri- monial designs and speculations. The withdrawal of the father's influence while she was yet so young, at such a critical time of life for the development of character, was a great drawback to her. Mrs. Welsh, sunk in her own grief, possessed but little influence on her daughter, whose esprit fort rapidly asserted itself, and re- sulted in one of the most marked individualities ever clothed in delicate and fascinating exterior. The early letters to Eliza Stodart show a power of sarcasm, a caustic wit; waywardness too, and impatience. The lovely girl is sharp with her pen, presumably no less so with her tongue. She displays a strong Scotch plainness and hardness of speech, a cutting, common-sense judgment, and was not apt to attribute lofty or beautiful motives to any one, be their conduct what it might. The shrewdness and incisive wit would have been altogether detestable, taken apart from the brilliant intellectual gifts and the truly feminine charm of the lovely girl who had such an armoury of powerful weap- ons at command. It was a strange combination, one that boded ill for the future. Her uncompromising habit of denunciation was manifest even in these early days. It was at first merely that won- derful, untempered severity of youth, which disposes of the claims of others with such triumphant despatch. It might, under other auspices, have mellowed into a gentle and wise toleration; but that was not to be. Jane Welsh was effusive at times, but not tender. Her health, never robust, was always delicately balanced, her temperament too finely strung for undisturbed normal physi- cal well-being. She was fiery, quick, and keen. Her un- tried heart was ignorant as yet of the sacred strength of that love or divine charity which * beareth all things, hopeth all things, suffereth long, and is kind.' Hers was quite another idea of life and its potentialities. The world — her little world-sphere — was to be subjugated, made to bend low to 22 GIRLHOOD that imperious will of hers, and her little foot was to be firmly planted on its neck. And the thought of love and marriage was much in her mind. It is satisfactory to find, however, that the 'Robert' who is described as * looking divine ' was an uncle, not a lover. ' Benjamin B ' she calls 'one of the most frank, unaffected young men I have seen.' And a year or two later she speaks cf meeting him ' on the opposite bank of the river.' Let any human being (she says) conceive a more tantalising situation! — I saw him, and durst not make any effort to attract his attention, though, had my will been consulted in the matter, to have met him eyes to eyes and soul to soul I would have swam — ay, swam across, at the risk of being dosed with water-gruel for a month to come! . . . Providence has surely some curious design respecting this youth and me! It was on my birthday we parted — it was on my birthday we met, or (but for that confounded river) should have met again. This letter is addressed to Eliza Stodart from Templand, the home of Walter Welsh, with whom his widowed daughter was staying. Jane adds, in her plain, uncompromising frankness of language: 'I wonder what the devil keeps my mother here ! ' Years afterwards, in 1825, Jane Welsh writes to Eliza Stodart, betraying at once her feminine unstability, and her knowledge of Latin: ' " Times are changed, and we are changed in them. " Mr. Benjamin B is become the most disagreeable person on this planet.' This little episode is taken as one of many. But we return to the year 1820, when, after a journey to Liverpool, where some time was spent with her mother's brother, Mr. John Welsh, and other visits involving an ab- sence of some months, Mrs. Welsh and her daughter return- ed to their lonely home in Haddington. The restless spirit of Jane Welsh was sorely tried by this return to familiar things. Well, my beloved cousin (she writes to Miss Stodart), here EARL V DISSA 7VSFA CTIONS 23 I am once more at the bottom of the pit of dulness, hemmed in all round, straining my eyeballs and stretching my neck to no purpose. Was ever starling in a more desperate plight? But I will ^et out — by the wife of Job, I will ! An eloquent abuse of her native town is followed by: — After all, there is much in it that I love. I love the bleaching- green, where I used to caper and tumble and roll ... in the days of my wee existence; and the school-house, where I carried away prizes . . . ; and, above all, I feel an affection for a field by the side of the river, where corn is growing now, and where a hay-rick once stood. You remember it. ... I was very happy then. All my little world lay glittering in tinsel at my feet! But years have passed over it since, and storm' after storm has stripped it of much of its finer}\ We quote this to illustrate the character which, at twenty years old, could describe the scenes of her childhood as 'glit- tering in tinsel.' Why not have called them pure gold ? What a scepticism of happiness is betrayed in this expression ! what absence of the heart-free, sound, wholesome joy of life ! The passage is most significant. In this very letter the young girl's mood promptly changes, as she goes on to discuss ' my quondam lover, the " goosish " man,' whose attempt at serious wooing was met with scorn and derision. He had arrived in hot haste, ' twelve hours after he received my answer to his letter . . . and in the morning sent a few nonsensical lines to announce his nonsensical arrival.' Poor young man ! His chance was indeed small. Little wonder that, in his nervous trepidation before this beautiful young angel with the two-edged sword, his power of expression should fail him, and he should gravely announce having been at a party some days before * with his arm under his hat,' and, desperately correcting himself, ' with his head under his arm 'y the lively girl's comment being, ' it was of very little consequence zvhere his head was ! ' This ill-starred suitor found that even two waistcoats, one of 24 GIRLHOOD figured velvet, and one of sky-blue satin, failed to plead his cause. Gossamer silk hose and morocco slippers were all in vain; he departed, presumably 'a sadder and wiser man,' Jane Welsh adds: 'A visit from a man with any brains in his head would really be an act of mercy to us here.' With what emphasis that wish was presently to be granted ! We may note that the ' cousinship' with Eliza Stodart seems to have been merely a term of good-will and liking, as Jane Welsh always mentions Mr. Bradfute as ' your uncle.' It would seem that Jane Welsh was not inclined to domestic interests in these days. She manifests much impatience at being made the medium of some homely and housewifely messages from Mrs. Welsh to her * Angel Bessie.' Advice as to the quantity of sugar needful to make marma- lade, and directions with regard to the management of sick hens, cause quite an outburst of wrath in the young amanu- ensis. After the words, ' Moreover — Oh ! she has plenty of cursed, ugly, wee black " pigs " [jars for the said marmalade] at your service,' she adds, ' Not one word more will I write for her, by ! ' Even in those days this must have been unusual language for a young lady to use. And the existence of it, in many of these early letters, must guard us from supposing that Jane Welsh learned her use of expletives and her tremendous force of language from Carlyle, whom she had as yet never seen. This peculiarity of strong language, far stronger than occasion demanded, was one of those extraordinary resem- blances between these two persons, who, while presenting some noticeable points of difference, were yet strangely, altogether unaccountably alike in many ways. With them both it was \k\s. for titer in re, not the suaviter in modo, which ruled their outward manifestations. In them both lay deep tenderness — the deepest — ill-developed, and huddled into a corner, its diviner outcomes smothered and ehoked; but it was there, and at moments of strong emotion it came forth, full-grown, unmistakable in its strength and beauty. CHAPTER III A. D. 1S21 First meeting with Thomas Carlyle — Introduction by Edward Irving — The May evening — Irving's attachment to Miss Welsh — Carlyle and Margaret Gordon — Isabella Martin — George Rennie — Miss Welsh's early impressions of Carlyle — Literary ambitions and projects — Irving's engagement to Miss Isabella Martin — Miss Welsh's hesitation in accepting Carlyle as a lover — Miss Welsh's readings of Rousseau — George Rennie's departure — Visit of Car- lyle to Haddington — Possibilities. But to return to Jane Welsh. It was late in the month of May, 182 1, that Thomas Carlyle appeared on the scene. Mrs. Welsh had given Edward Irving leave to bring his gifted friend over to Haddington and introduce him. This, accordingly, was carried out by Irving on one of his occasional holiday sallies from Glasgow, now the scene of his labours. It was at Haddington he sometimes recruited his strength, and he was always a welcome guest in Mrs. Welsh's house, for the sake of old times. It all came about in the most natural manner possible. Irving was now engaged to be married: his betrothed, Miss Martin, being the daughter of the minister in Kirkcaldy, where Irving had taken an appoint- ment as schoolmaster on leaving Haddington. It was natural that Irving should wish to introduce Thomas Carlyle to these dear, valued friends of his. He knew how keenly the intellectual Miss Welsh would enjoy the original genius of his friend. And Irving was proud of Carlyle, and no doubt longed to show him off where he was sure of apprecia- tion. But let us consider the real position of these three people 25 26 GIRLHOOD — their inner standpoint, not apparent in their outward seeming. Thomas Carlyle, the rugged, fiery peasant, had passed through his one tender passage, his love for Margaret Gordon, to whom, but for the interposition of friends, he would probably have been affianced. She must have loved him. to read his powers so clearly in an exterior that ill-expressed him. 'Genius will render you great' she had written to him. ' May virtue render you beloved ! Remove the awful distance between you and ordinary men by kind and gentle manners ! ' An angel could not have counselled Carlyle better. Small wonder that, many years later, in 1840, when he met her, then Lady Bannerman, riding in Hyde Park, her eyes mutely recognized him. He seems to have had no other attachment till he met his fate in the bright eyes of Jane Welsh. He had not yet transacted what he called his ' conversion,' or ' new birth ' — had not yet ' authentically taken the devil by the nose.' 'Doubt had darkened into unbelief.' That was his own account of his state. He was indeed forlorn and needing comfort. There is no mystery whatever as to the fact that Edward Irving loved Jane Welsh, whatever his actual position with the Martins may have been. The fact of his finding an attached and amiable wife in Miss Martin, and proving a good and loving husband to her, can in no way alter what is known to have been his devoted love for his old pupil. Folded among Irving's letters to Miss Welsh is a passionate sonnet addressed to her, and on the other side of it (she had preserved his verses and so much of the accompanying letter as was written on the opposite page of the paper) a fragment, evi- dently written at this period (about 1820), in which he told her that he was about to inform Miss Martin, and possibly her father, of his feelings. We have seen how that ended. Miss Welsh nobly refused to listen to the addresses of a man who was not free; and Irving, though he afterwards confessed that the struggle had almost made his ' faith and principles to totter ' — to use his A LOVER SELF-DECEIVED 2/ own words — submitted to the inevitable. In a letter he wrote to Miss Welsh after the matter was decided he says: — My well-beloved Friend and Pupil, — When I think of you, my mind is overspread with the most affectionate and tender regard, which I neither know how to name nor to describe. One thing I know — it would long ago have taken the form of the most devoted attachment but for an intervening circumstance, and shown and pleaded itself before your heart by a thousand actions, from which I must now restrain myself. Heaven grant me its grace to restrain myself; and, forgetting my own enjoyments, may I be enabled to combine into your single self all that duty and plighted faith leave at my disposal. When I am in your company my whole soul would rush to serve you, and my tongue trembles to speak my heart's fulness. But I am enabled to forbear, and have to find other avenues than the natural ones for the overflowing of an aflfectiOn which would hardly have been able to confine itself within the avenues of nature, if they had all been opened. But I feel within me the power to prevail, and at once to satisfy duty to another and affection to you. I stand truly upon ground that seems to shake and give way beneath me, but my help is in Heaven. Edward Irving had, as we have seen, left Kirkcaldy an engaged man, pledged to Miss Isabella Martin, who after- wards became his wife. Yet was there an unsatisfied longing in his heart also, for the image of the bright, eager face of Jeannie Welsh, his former pupil, haunted his mind and thoughts, and refused to be banished. Parting from her while she was still almost a child, he had yet had oppor- tunities of seeing her while she ripened into her lovely womanhood, and he had learned to know his own heart, whose deep strong love was, alas ! given to her, and not by any means to be taken away and bestowed on Miss Martin, or any other woman. Irving knew it, blinded himself to it, perhaps, in a measure, and at one time desperately hoped against hope. But the days of hope were over before 182 1, and he knew he was only looking at the roses in another 28 GIRLHOOD man's garden. Still, he saw Jane Welsh, and time drifted on. What, then, of her, at this momentous time ? She shared the knowledge and the sorrow. The ardent girl had learned that Irving loved her; she returned his love, and no doubt blindly hoped, as he had hoped, that the Martins would set him free from his engagement. That suspense was all over now, and stern reality had looked her in the face. Proud and honourable, she had received his tale of love with the understanding that, unless he were absolutely free, there must be no such footing between them as that of lovers. And he was not free, never would be free to offer his love — and there was an end of it. There is no doubt, therefore, that a mutual attachment existed between these two young people. Yet we cannot predict that Jane Welsh would have found happiness had her fate united her to this religious and enthusiastic nature. There would probably, as she herself said in later life, have been ' no tongues' But we cannot see that there was a strong likelihood of happiness between them, as her mocking wit and fine sense of the ludicrous, would have harmonised imperfectly with his simple, devout earnestness. And she might have come to despise him for his blind faith; whilst she never could despise Thomas Carlyle. That bitterness, at least, was spared her, in the ill-prospering of her first love. So there was in her an emptiness of heart and a seeking out for some deeper interest in life, when first she met Carlyle. No wonder the proud, brilliant girl looked with immense contempt on her many would-be admirers, and thought within herself that it was all mockery and sham. It was to literature that she now looked for an opening for her ambition, and an interest that should not fail her; and it was as a literary man of genius that Carlyle was presented to her, in her then empty and dissatisfied state of mind and heart. Truly they were three remarkable personalities who met FAl'E'S GOLDEN' HOUR 29 in that drawing-room which looked out into the flower-garden, with its trim box-edgings and slender birch-trees, on that sweet May evening, so memorable a date in the lives of two, at least, of the three who formed the little company. Mrs. Welsh was now in the third year of her widowhood; *an air of deep sadness lay on her,' says Carlyle, * and she soon withdrew.' So the three craving, unsatisfied natures, the three rare in- tellects, the three who knew each other so little, and them- selves so infinitely less, spent their first hours together. * The summer twilight,' says Carlyle, 'was pouring in rich and soft; I felt as one walking transiently in upper spheres.' Probably none of the three ever forgot that hour. The memory of it was in Carlyle's mind when, not long after, he wrote that exquisite passage in * Sartor Resartus ' beginning, ' The conversation took a higher turn: one fine thought called forth another.* . . . This visit lasted three or four days. Writing of it in later times Carlyle says: 'There were others besides the one fair figure most of all important to me. We met often, in her mother's house — sat talking with the two, several hours, almost every evening. The beautiful, bright, earnest young lady was intent on literature, as the highest aim in life.' Was this so ? Was it natural that it should be so ? Was Carlyle so far deceived as to believe this astounding fiction, from the lips of the young creature, just newly blossomed into life, and ignorant of so much that goes to form happi- ness Later on, he was undeceived on one point at least — he knew from her own pen that she had loved Irving 'passion- ately,' had hidden that love, had jested at Irving's expense to mislead Carlyle and to shield her own heart — like that bird which starts up in solitary moorland places with shrill cries, hovering over the place where its nest is not, to protect the precious nook where it is ! This womanly instinct must not be harshly dealt with. It 30 GIRLHOOD bears a sacred tenderness in it, and has no real kinship with voluntary untruth or misleading. Jane Welsh, sternly hon- ourable, as she was to the last fibre in her nature, laid down this love for Irving, and gave it up, and in time it ceased to exist — as an attachment. She would not love another woman's husband. But a love such as hers had been, is not put off as we put off a garment; the nature and character receive certain undeniable impressions, and it could never be with Jane Welsh, as though she had not met Edward Irving. Many persons are disposed to say that, in this bright, quick nature of hers, whatever impression there was, must have been a transient one: that many young girls were in love with the winning young man; that, as one of them said in later life, ' Oh ! we were all in love with him ! ' It may have been so; but from the documentary evidence in existence we are forced to believe that in the case of Jane Welsh, it Vv^as a far deeper feeling at one time, and, had Carlyle been more like other men, the letter in which Miss Welsh confessed to her former feeling for Edward Irving, might certainly have made him pause in his wooing. But he was 7iot like other men, and regarded the matter with totally different judgment. It was by no means unnatural that Miss Welsh should, finally, think a marriage with Carlyle possible. She may have cherished a dream of close companionship with a brilliant mind, the realisation of a satisfied ambition fed with aliment that should not fail. She sought, perhaps, some reliable, tangible basis of happiness. Some such thoughts may have animated Carlyle at this time of first impressions; though, in truth, he hardly knew what a companionship was, and often needed, as an old friend said, *a solar system to himself — so that invisible agencies would noiselessly minister to his personal needs. On this visit, Carlyle, charged by Irving with the direction of Jane Welsh's studies, introduced some of his favourite German authors to her notice, and obtained permission to send her books now and then, which gave occasion to ' bits iNFL VENCE OF K US SEA U 3 1 of writing to and from'; and when she visited the Bradfute household, in George's Square, Edinburgh, Carlyle was allowed to call. And thus the memorable acquaintance pro- gressed. I was not her declared lover (says Carlyle), nor could she ad- mit me as such in my waste and uncertain posture of affairs and prospects; but we were becoming thoroughly acquainted with one another, and her tacit, hidden, but to me visible, friendship, for me was the happy island in my otherwise dreary, vacant, and forlorn existence in those years. The German studies were more wholesome literary food for Miss Welsh than some of the books she was reading about this time. The reading of * La Nouvelle Heloi'se ' hardly suggested valuable ideas; perhaps the least hurtful effect of such reading was to foster a contempt in Jane Welsh for the raw Scotch youths who admired her. No lover (she writes to Eliza Stodart early in 1822) will Jane Welsh ever find like St. Preux, no husband like Wolmar (I don't want to insinuate that I should like them both), and to no man will she give her heart and pretty hand, who bears to these no resemblance. George Rennie! James Aitken! Robert Mac- turk! James Baird! Robby Angus! O Lord! O Lord! Where is the St. Preux ? Where is the Wolmar ? We admire the naivete with which Jane Welsh tells her 'Angel Bessy,' commenting on Rousseau's heroine, Julie Etange, that she, Jane Welsh, 'does not wish to countenance such irregularities among her female acquaintances,' but qualifies this gentle condemnation by the admission that ' were any individual of them to meet with such a vian, to struggle as she struggled, to yield as she yielded, and to repent as she repented,' she ' would love that woman better than the chastest, coldest prude between John o' Groat's House and Land's End.' To such sentiments had she 'screwed up her violin strings' after reading the 'fatal Book.' It is amusing, too, to hear her apostrophise the race of old 32 GtRLHOOD maids as 'virtuous, venerable females,* and express pity for her aunt, who, ' poor thing ! does not understand love.' In this same letter she describes Carlyle, from whom she had just had a letter announcing a visit to Haddington. She says: — He is something liker to St. Preux than George Craig is to Wolmar, He has his talents, his vast and cultivated mind, his vivid imagination, his independence of soul, and his high-souled principles of lionour. But then — ah ! these ^^z^/j' . . . Want of elegance! Want of elegance, Rousseau says, is a defect no woman can overlook. It must be remembered that, at this time, there was a rather serious love-affair between Jane Welsh and George Rennie; it had been the most serious of the many ' affairs,' and was drawing to a somewhat unexpected close. Strange to say, in this case, from some unexplained reason, it was the gentleman who withdrew from the adventure. Carlyle speaks of him in the ' Reminiscences ' as ' a clever, decisive, very ambitious, but quite unmelodious young fellow, whom v/e knew afterwards here [in Chelsea] as sculptor and M. P.' Tender passages would seem to have taken place between this * decisive ' young man and Jane Welsh, perhaps without much depth of feeling. But she says: ' O wretch ! I wish I could hate him, but I cannot. . . . And when Friday comes, I always think how neatly I used to be dressed, and some- times I give my hair an additional brush and put on a clean frill, just from habit. Oh ! the devil take him ! ' There was certainly, at the time, some feeling on Jane Welsh's part for this ' unmelodious young fellow,' for when he was going abroad she writes to Miss Stodart: ' I had not heard his voice for many a day, but then I had heard those who had conversed with him. I had seen objects he had looked on, I had breathed the air that he had breathed.' And when the young man called to take leave of her, Jane Welsh says, ' I scarcely heard a word he said, my own heart beat so loud.' The young lady promptly discards this un- THE IDEAL AND THE REAL -^-y^ wonted mood of tenderness, and goes on, in the same letter, to describe a visit from Carlyle: — Mr. Carlyle was with us two days (she writes), during the greater part of which I read German with him. It is a noble language; I am getting on famously. He scratched the fender dreadfully ; I must have a pair of carpet-shoes and handcuffs prepared for him the next time. His tongue only should be left at liberty; his other members are most fantastically awkward. In concluding the same letter she says : ' I will be happier contemplating my beau-ideal than a real, substantial, eating, drinking, sleeping, honest husband ! ' To us, these expressions about George Rennie seem rather intended to mislead than enlighten Miss Stodart, for the name that was never written — the name of Edward Irving — was linked with a deeper, unspoken feeling; and the friend- ship for George Rennie, which outlasted time and change, was of another kind, since, many years later, when he lay dying in London, with wife and family about him, Mrs. Carlyle went, at Mrs. Rennie's wish, and watched her old companion and playfellow in his last hours on earth. This, we would affirm, she could not have done in the case of Edward Irving; and this paradox is no paradox to those who know women's hearts. But Jane Welsh was loyal, and deeply kind-hearted, and there was nothing to render that last tender and sacred office of friendship impossible. 34 GIRLHOOD CHAPTER IV A. D. 1821-1825 Miss Welsh's German studies — Projected literary work — Irving's anxieties as to Miss Welsh's reading — Remonstrances — Irving goes to London — He introduces Carlyle to the Bullers — The tutorship — More intimate correspondence between Carlyle and Miss Welsh — Friendship the footing prescribed by Miss Welsh — Irving's marriage to Miss Martin — Continuation of the Buller engagement — Carlyle's wooing, and its results — Stoical accept- ance of repulse — Dr. Fyffe — Miss Welsh's admiration for genius — The letter from Goethe to Carlyle — Sympathy on Byron's death — ' Benjamin B ' — Miss Welsh does not pay a visit to the Irvings in London. The thought of Edward Irving as a lover was put away, and in time took its place with the sad, beautiful things that were not to be — *Es war zu schon gewesen ! ' Meantime George Rennie was on the high seas, and Miss Welsh busy with her German studies, laughingly considering some liter- ary work that should tend to the ' immortalising of old maids.' She declined an offer made her by one of the editors of a proposed local magazine, and was ready to swear that the first number would be the last. The offer in question, made by Mr. George Cunningham, was that she should assist the projected literary work with her pen; and certainly she would have been a brilliant contributor, but her powers were destined to be otherwise employed. Her interest in German was very genuine. In an enforced absence from her studies she says, writing to Miss Stodart, * Oh my beloved German ! my precious, precious time ! ' These German readings with Carlyle were a source of fresh anxiety to Edward Irving. ADVANCED CULTURE 35 I would like (he writes to Thomas Carlyle) to see her sur- rounded with a more noble set of companions than Rousseau (your friend), and Byron, and such-like . . . And I don't think it will much mend the matter when you get her intro- duced to Von Schiller and Von Goethe, and your other nobles of German literature. I fear Jane has already dipped too deep into that spring, so that, unless some more solid food be afforded, I fear she will escape altogether out of the region of my sympathies, and the sympathies of honest, home-bred men. Irving also feared the influence of some of the German writers as likely to undermine Miss Welsh's religious convic- tions, which he had himself laboured to establish in what he felt more and more convinced was the only true form. It was natural, no doubt, that he should view Carlyle as a dangerous teacher; but it is no less true that Carlyle's own principles, as applied to life and morals, were as pure in their results as can be inspired by the most orthodox creed in existence. In 1822 an important change took place in Carlyle's circumstances. Since his retirement from his post of school- master in Kirkcaldy, in 1818, he had led a struggling life in Edinburgh, writing, reading, translating, at very moderate remuneration, borne down by poverty and dyspepsia. But at this time his constant friend, Edward Irving, was invited as minister to the Caledonian chapel in Hatton Garden, and his subsequent brilliant success as preacher there brought him in contact with many distinguished persons. Among these was Mrs. Charles Buller, a wealthy lady with sons. Recommended by Irving, Thomas Carlyle became tutor to two of these lads, and was at once in easy circumstances, and nobly helped his family. The correspondence with Haddington continued, and grew even more intimate. Mr. Froude says: ' The relations between tutor and pupil developed, or promised to develop, into a literary partnership.' As such it might have been a success. There was no sign of tender feeling on Jane Welsh's part, and a decided check imposed on the earliest indication of 36 GIRLHOOD gallantry. Friendship, the beautiful girl maintained, was the only footing possible between them. And Carlyle acquiesced, without a suspicion. It was, perhaps, not difificult for him to observe this wish of hers. Edward Irving was in London, out of the way, but took his trouble with him, and did, it seems, contemplate even now informing Miss Martin and her father of his feelings. But the Martins had justice and custom on their side, and, though actually appealed to, stood firm to their contract. A letter from Irving to Jane Welsh after the final decision was made is painful in its forced tone of resignation, its mixture of passionate love and religious formula — simple, true, and manly as is the attitude adhered to. Upon Irving the effect of this disappointment was un- doubted and abidmg. A few months later he married Miss Martin, and entered on a new life. His old self was left behind. As Mr. Froude says, 'the old, simple, unconscious Irving ceased to exist.' But there were other potent causes in Irving' s career from this point which rendered simplicity and unconsciousness difficult to maintain, though his married life was calm and loving; more peaceful than it could have been with the quick, fiery-hearted, brilliant Jane Welsh. And she surely would not have found her beau-ideal in Edward Irving; nor was she formed for that simple and uncomplicated happiness which suffices to so many women and wives. ' Where the light is brightest the shadows are deepest,' so say the Germans; and both were very vivid in this remarkable girl. It would be hard to say what Jane Welsh would have really considered as happiness. In any case, she now turned to her strange relation with Carlyle, which offered interest of no common kind. He wrote her his discontented and yet brilliant letters during the Buller engagement — admitted that he had ' quiet, and free air, and returning health ' — and besought her not to be in pain for him. In October 1822 he paid a hasty visit to his faithful and THE ABIDING AND THE TRANSIENT 37 beloved old mother, always dearer, practically, to him, than any one on earth. Here, in Mainhill, a most rudimentary little farmhouse, he tried to comfort his mother as to his spiritual state; no doubt, over their midnight pipes, they exchanged much earnest talk, and these must have been among the most precious hours ever spent by Thomas Carlyle. Meanwhile, the 'paragon of gifted young girls' abode with her dignified, sad, and beautiful mother, in the comfortable house at Haddington, among what Carlyle called the 'elegant whim-whams' of a refined home, fastid- ious as to the binding of her ' wee, wee Cicero,' playing the piano, singing Moore's melodies, and sending kisses to 'Brady.' There had been a visit of ' Uncle Robert,' once spoken of as 'perfectly divine,' now evidently fallen from that giddy elevation. ' There ' (she says) ' was my precious uncle, sneezing, snarling, and sometimes snoring; the Lady [her aunt] dressing, yawning, and practicing postures; our mother wearying her heart to entertain them, all in vain, and our sorrowful self casting many a wistful glance towards the little table where Schiller and Alfieri lay neglected.' Thus opened the year 1823. In May, Carlyle spent a week in Annandale, and wrote to Miss Welsh: 'Here I purpose to spend my leisure, and to think sweetly of friends that are far away.' Such thoughts must have been mostly of the charming girl he was addressing. The position could not possibly remain at a fixed point of friendship and literary sympathy. Such terms become flimsy pretences between a man and a woman unless each has some deep, abiding haven of the heart, whence, safely anchored, they can ' sport upon the shore; ' and neither Thomas Carlyle nor Jane Welsh had such abiding-place. She truly sought none such, but was amused, flattered, perhaps at times touched, to see this man of genius at her feet. And his social status seemed, no doubt, to her a very real barrier against the idea of a marriage between them. It was a temptation hard for the lively girl to resist — that of playing with the feelings of this uncouth and 38 GIRLUOOD remarkable man, and it is not to be wondered at that she should yield to it. So he was ' caressed or chidden by the dainty hand,' and was well contented. He was ever ready to listen to her lively sallies; and in the summer of 1823, when staying in some house she particu- larly disliked. Miss Welsh, dating her letter, in her forcible language, as from * Jlell,' must have somewhat overstated her gratitude for Carlyle's affection for her. She must have expressed herself with less reticence than usual, carelessly perhaps; but by Carlyle, little practised in the ways of woman, what she said was eagerly taken as a willingness on her part to become his wife. Nothing could have been further from the young lady's thoughts, and she lost no time in explaining herself, so as to do away with the effect of what she had done. My friend! (she said) I love you — I repeat it, though I find the expression a rash one. All the best feelings of my nature are concerned in loving you. But were you my brother, I should love you the same. No! Your friend I will be, your truest, most devoted friend, while I breathe the breath of life. But your wife, never! Never! not though you were as rich as Croesus, as honoured and renowned as you yet shall be! This sounds decisive, and Carlyle took it as a conclusive settling of the point, and bore it as a brave man should, replying in terms which, had Miss Welsh loved him, would indeed have broken off the intimacy once for all. ' My heart,* he said, 'is too old by almost half a score of years' (he was only twenty-eight), 'and is made of sterner stuff than to break in junctures of this kind.' One might naturally ask, In what kind of juncture, then, would his heart have broken ? But he continues: ' I have no idea of dying in the Arcadian shepherd's style for the disappointment of hopes which I never seriously entertained, or had no right to entertain seriously.' As we have said, between lovers such words as these would either have been impossible to be spoken, or impossible JiESTLESSN£SS AND GERMAN STUD Y 3g to be forgiven J but between this strange pair they produced little effect. Jane Welsh was desceuvree\ her life did not give her that whereby her eager, restless nature could live. She could not* live by bread alone.' She could not lay down the romantic idea of aiding the upward striving of this man of extraordinary genius; there were interest, excitement, occupation of thought, literary sympathy — elements which made life worth living — and the correspondence between her- self and Carlyle continued. In a letter to Miss Stodart on March 31, 1823, Jane Welsh writes: 'Often at the end of the week my spirits and my industry begin to flag; but then comes one of Mr. Carlyle's brilliant letters, that inspires me with new resolution, and brightens all my hopes and prospects with the golden hues of his own imagination.' At this time she busied herself with certain humble protege's: A beggar-boy of fifteen — taken on trust as a genius, but with an aversion to all kinds of mortal labour, which could not do away with faults of a less exalted character, such as lying and refusing to wash his face — was one of these. A second pensioner, described as being * eight years old and a few inches high,' proved more respectable and satisfactory. These benevolent occupations were supplemented by her * translating German.' * As busy at this,' she says, ' as if my fortune in this world and my salvation in the world to come depended on my proficiency in that enchanting tongue.' This devotion to German showed that she wished to please Carlyle, who was also deep in the language. Jane Welsh was sharp as ever in her sarcasm. She speaks of the ' little gunpowder-man of medicine ' (Dr. Fyffe) in sin- gularly cutting terms: — Now, when he perceives (she writes) that he may bleed or boil himself to the day of Pentecost without interesting this hard and sto7iy heart of mine the least in his favour, he is adopting another mode of attack. Instead of shaving his whiskers, and using all possible expedients to give him the aspect of a woe- begone man, he is now trying to dazzle my wits with a white hat, 40 GIRLHOOD ; silver-headed jockey whip, and bits of leggings of so bright a yellow that it does me ill to look at them. In this letter she asks her * dear, dear Angel Bessie ' to do her two tremendous favours, one behig to send a book to Dr. Carlyle's lodgings. Dr. John Carlyle was now studying medicine at Edinburgh University, and Miss Welsh had forgotten the name of the people with whom he was lodging. The other favour requested, savours of the mysterious: * You are to be so very kind as to order for me at Gibson and Craig's one of the best gentlemen's hats, of the most fashionable cut, not broad-rimmed. The outside measure is enclosed. It is to be a present to my intended husband, so do see that they send a Jemmy one.' Mr. Ritchie gives the date of this letter as doubtful, and we are inclined to think that it must have been written in 1826 when Carlyle really was Miss Welsh's * intended husband,' and she may have had some feminine view of smartening him up. Things had not gone so far as this in 1824, when Miss Welsh. tells her ' dearest Eliza' how for two weeks she never wearied of her cousin — played chess with him, strolled through the woods with him, or sat on a green bank talking sentiment with him, and, whilst admitting his nature to be most affectionate, his spirit magnificent, his intellect clear and quick, his fancy lively, and himself beau- tiful, brilliant, graceful, and courtly, yet deplored his not possessing gctiitis, that fatal gift, necessary, as she adds, to the destiny of her life. And this was evidently the fact, for, when the momentous choice was at length made, Jane Welsh elected to choose genius, without some of these gracious and attrac- tive accompaniments. Her longing after genius was a real and an unquenchable one; genius in her life-partner was her sine qua 7ion, and, for the time, at least, this longing out- weighed and dominated all other desires. And the gods heard, and she had her wish. It would seem that in 1824 Jane Welsh's decision still hung in the balance, however. ' I begin to think,' she says, A S YMPA TH Y SHA RED 4 1 * that men and women may be very charming without having any genius. Who knows but I shall grow reasonable at last, and descend from my ideal heaven to the real earth — marry — and, O Plato ! make a pudding.' But Jane Welsh acted out her ideal, and proved its real nature and consequences. Her various love-affairs ruffled, but did not stir her. She overwhelmed her unlucky suitors with satirical invective. But she could not treat Thomas Carlyle so. His hold on her lay out of the reach of her mocking spirit. In Decem- ber 1824 he sent her a letter from Goethe to himself — a copy in characters which she could read, as well as. the original. Xhis greatly pleased the ambitious young girl. 'As written to Carlyle himself, it is highly complimentary,' she writes to Miss Stodart, ' and, coming from the man whom he honours almost to idolatry, must have gratified him beyond measure.' Another yet more precious inclosure was a fragment of a letter from Byron, which affected Miss Welsh most power- fully. 'This, then,' she says, 'was his handwriting; his, whose image had haunted my imagination for years and years, whose wild, glorious spirit had tinctured all the poetry of my being.' This subject of Byron was one on which sympathet- ic utterances had been exchanged. When the fatal news had come from Missolonghi, Miss Welsh had written to Carlyle: ' I was told it all alone in a room full of people. If they had said the sun or the moon was gone out of the heavens, it could not have struck me with the idea of a more awful blank in the creation than the words, "Byron is dead!"' Carlyle had answered: 'Poor Byron! Alas! the news of his death came upon my heart like a mass of lead. . . . I dreamed of seeing him and knowing him, but the curtain of everlasting night has hid him from our eyes. We shall go to him; he shall not return to us. There is a blank in your heart and in mine since this man passed away.' How exquisite must this sympathy, thus expressed by Thomas Carlyle, on this subject, have been to the enthu- siastic young girl! What more perfect method could 42 GIRLHOOD Carlyle's good angel have suggested to him to ingratiate himself withal in this tenderly romantic heart? And the partaking of this sorrowful regret, taken in conjunction with the use of that charmed possessive pronoun, ' our,' certainly paved the way for nearer relations between these two isolated natures. Carlyle made a decided advance in Miss Welsh's good graces at this time. In April 1825, Miss "Welsh describes an amusing scene: Mr. Benjamin B called, bent on serious wooing, and found the field already occupied. Mr. Carlyle was there, a guest, in the drawing-room at Haddington. ' I kept talking,' says Miss "Welsh; 'I just kept on talking away to Hr. Carlyle about the Peak of Teneriffe.' Benjamin B must have shown much patient perseverance, for it seems he sub- sequently 'talked for two hours, with a miraculous command of absurdity.' Such was the lady's verdict on his eloquence. In the same letter to Miss Stodart occur the significant words: ' I do not go to London this season either, for rea- sons which I have not room to explain. It is not Mr. Irving's fault //^/V time! ' Mr. Froude tells us how it had been in- tended that Miss Welsh should visit Irving and his wife in London as soon as they were settled there, ' but Irving could not face the trial.' Brave and good Irving! he would not let her face the trial. He loved her better than he loved himself. Had she made that visit at that time, however, we cannot help thinking that the whole course of her own life might have been changed. For she would have gained some self-knowledge; it would have been forced on her — with a painful awakening, perhaps — but it would have prevented her, probably, from marrying as she did. Yet in saying this we are speaking in ignorance as to her having been happier either unwedded or otherwise wedded, since her nature was not easy to be made happy, and the causes which militated most strongly against her happiness were in her own nature, more than in circumstances. So, at least, we are led to think. CHAPTER V A. D. 1S25 Carlyle in London — Thoughts of marriage — Difficulties — Mrs. Mon- tagu — ' Barry Cornwall ' — Allan Cunningham — The breaking-off of the Buller engagement — Irving's hospitality — Serious reflec- tions — Consultations with Miss Welsh — The idea of ' living on a farm ' — Miss Welsh's very different project — Carlyle's indepen- dent spirit — Exceptional position of affairs — Miss Welsh's deli- cate health — The proposal to farm Craigenputtock — Final de- cision left to Miss Welsh — Suspense — Discussion — Modest wants of Carlyle — Miss Welsh demurs at the essential conditions, but still proffers friendship — Carlyle's renewed professions of at- tachment. Carlyle had sailed to London on June 5 of this same year, to continue his duties in the Buller family, and to see something of a new life. Irving had been sanguine that literary society would open its arms to a man of genius like his friend. Carlyle himself gravely doubted this, and had rather a hankering for some remote and undisturbed nook in Scotland, where he might possess his soul in peace, and devote himself to work, unmolested, at whatever the spirit might move him to do. Such rural paradise must, of course, contain some helpful and wholly unexacting human presence, which should attend to the ' cares of bread ' without troubling him in any way, yet with strict attention to his simple but pronounced needs in this direction. This rendered the plan a difficult one to arrange. Meantime he would go to London, and await a summons from the Buller family. His own description of his reception in Irving's house is characteristic. It may be read in the * Reminiscences.' In a letter to Miss Welsh, dated a few days after his arrival, he sketches some of the people he has met; notably, 43 44 GIRLHOOD Mrs. Montagu, of whom his words are, possibly unintention- ally, disparaging. It was she whom Irving always called the ' noble lady,' and to whom Carlyle, later on, addressed letters of the most affectionate cordiality; to whom, also, he was in- debted for great kindness and hospitality. Carlyle speaks of Barry Cornwall, with 'the dreamy wildness in his eye;' of Allan Cunningham, ' my most dear, modest, kind, good- humoured Allan Cunningham; ' and of many others. The uncertainty of the Bullers' movements greatly annoyed and distracted Carlyle. It ended finally in the breaking-up of the engagement with that family. Carlyle now found him- self free, and happier than he had been for some time. Irving's hospitality was immediately at his disposal. One little trait may be quoted from a letter written to Miss Welsh in October of the same year, when Carlyle was visit- ing the Irvings at Dover. Carlyle found something hugely ridiculous in the interest Irving and his wife took in their firstborn, and quotes the ' Orator,' as he oftenest styled Irving, as having said on one occasion to his wife: ' Isabella, I think I would wash him with warm water to-night;' on which Carlyle's comment to the young mother, as reported by himself, was that he, were he in her place, would wash him with oil of vitriol if he pleased, and take no one's counsel. It was, as we must remember, in absolute ignorance of the past that lay between Miss Welsh and Edward Irving, that Carlyle thus discoursed to her of the ' Orator.' ' Oh ! ' says he, ' that you but saw the giant, with his broad-brimmed hat, his sallow visage, and his sable fleece of hair, carrying the little pepper-box of a creature ! ' Yet, in the ' Reminis- cences,' he adds how Irving said to him: 'Ah ! Carlyle, this little creature has been sent to me to soften my hard heart.' And this utterance had evidently touched Carlyle's own heart, which was eminently 7iot hard. An unexpected excursion to Paris followed this holiday; after whiA Carlyle returned to London, and lived near AN INTERESTING CORRESPONDENCE 45 Irving, to finish his * Life of Schiller.' He was still sick in body and perturbed in mind; he writes with intensified bitterness of the Irving family, but says, in a letter to John Carlyle in November: * Yet were I a dog if I did not love him ! ' And here again the heart of Thomas Carlyle spoke. The correspondence with Miss Welsh continued, and she must have been the main element in the dissatisfied and ambitious man's thoughts and schemes. He began to loathe London. He had saved a little money, even after his generous help to his brothers. He felt he must seriously consult her, whose opinion was almost all-in-all to him, and who he had some reason to think might consent to marry him when once he was able to offer her a tolerably comfortable home. To such conclusion had Carlyle come after long and intimate correspondence with Miss Welsh. His own tastes were of the simplest; he concluded, with beautiful unconsciousness, that hers would also be so. His idea at this time was to take and stock a farm in Annandale, leaving his brother Alexander to manage it. Then he would have quietness to write and study, and the two sources of activity would surely realise a small but sufficient income to marry upon. It was a very simple Utopia, but as illusory as the wildest dreams of the dreamers. He tells his plans to Miss Welsh, who had evidently thought, in her inexperience, that some ready-made ' pension ' of * sinecure ' would be ready, lying at the feet of a man of such genius— something that, without effort on his part, should redeem him from the vulgar necessity of making a living. A sinecure! (he says in reply). God bless thee, my darling! I could not touch a sinecure, though twenty of my friends should volunteer to offer! . . . For affection, or the faintest imitation of it, a man should feel obliged to his very dog; but for the gross assistance of patronage or purse, let him pause before accepting them from any one. 46 GIRLHOOD And these feelings were genuine, and expressed in manly language, such as Miss Welsh could not but admire. The years during which this remarkable correspondence was going on must have been strange and unrestful years for Jane Welsh. The correspondence itself is as unlike the ordinary pre-matrimonial exchange of letters as the two writers were unlike the general run of people. There was, from the first, something altogether exceptional in the whole position of affairs — almost unprecedented. Let us here draw attention for a moment to Miss Welsh's own account of her physical health, showing, as it does, the ominous foreshadowing of a highly sensitive and too finely balanced temperament, which was to develop such cruel forms of suffering in later life. In a letter dated Templand, August 1825, Miss Welsh writes to her friend, Miss Stodart: — My life is passing on here in the usual alternating manner. One day I am ill and in bed; the next, in full puff at an enter- tainment. . . . What pains me most is, that between headaches and visiting my education is completely at a stand. . . . And, after all, I am not very blamable on the score of idleness; it is in vain to think of toiling up the steep of knowledge with a burden of sickness on one's shoulders, and hardly less difficult for a young person of my attractions to lead the life of a recluse. We here see, plainly enough, that Jane Welsh was not strong and healthy, even in those early and comparatively untried days. She suffered at times, was restless, and ill at ease. Her strongest interest at the time was undoubtedly her friendship with Carlyle — that fViendship bordering so closely on a deeper feeling. There was more than mere ambition, we think, in the attraction she felt towards Carlyle. She admired and venerated him; she felt that he was superior to any man she had ever known: and he had sympathized with her, as we have already seen. She had certainly loved Edward Irving, but that love had not been destined to fill her life. UNANSWERED QUESTIONS 47 Would it ever have filled it? We can never know; and doubtless the scent of the rose-leaves clung round that early- closed page of her life, and possibly never quite left it. But what the actual result of the union would have been we cannot guess. How that keenly awakened, mocking spirit would have taken Irving's pious phraseology, and his whole mode of thought, is beyond our power to predict. The love-story was never dragged out to its end. Irving, bound in honour, had gone his way; and though Jane Welsh could not again give that passionate youthful love which was given to him, we need not conclude that therefore she could not love at all, and was bereft of all power or wish to make a good man happy. How many marriages, and happy marriages, too, are built on the second, rather than on the first deep, beautiful outpouring of the heart? Many a man would have preferred to marry Miss Welsh with the feeling she had for Thomas Carlyle than with that which she felt for Edward Irving. We are not speaking at random; we have heard it from the lips of a good man and true, who knew her long and intimately, and understood her as few have ever done. Probably she would not have found life per- fect with an)'' man, since her own eager, restless nature bore within it so many possibilities, almost necessities of pain. Carlyle was nobly ready to relieve her from any promise to him. But she did not wish to be relieved. His proposal to farm Craigenputtock did not seem wild to hitn. His own recollections of Mainhill and the family life made it quite natural. His mother, whom he loved and venerated above all earthly beings, spent her life in a cottage, discharging the humblest of daily tasks. He saw nothing anomalous in the plan. It was merely an error in judgment, and a pardonable, and in some sense a natural one, that he should propose this solitary moorland life to Miss Welsh. He writes to her from London on January 9, 1825: — . . . You bid me tell you how I have decided — what I mean to do. It is you that must decide. I will endeavour to explain 48 GIRLHOOD to you what I wish; it must rest with you to say whether it can ever be attained. You tell me you have land which needs improvement. Why not work on that.'' In one word, then, will you go with me.? Will you be my own for ever? Say Yes, and I embrace the project with my whole heart. I send my brother Alick over to rent that Nithsdale farm for me without delay; I proceed to it the moment I am freed from my engagements here; I labour in arranging it, and fitting everything for your reception; and the instant it is ready I take you home to my hearth, never more to part from me, whatever fate betide us, I fear you think this scheme a baseless vision; and yet it is the sober best among the many I have meditated — the best for me, and I think also, so far as I can judge of it, for yourself. . . . Depend upon it, Jane, this literature, which both of us are so bent on pursuing, will not constitute the sole nourishment of any true human spirit. . . . Literature is the wine of life; it will not, cannot be, its food. . . . You, too, are unhappy, and I see the reason. You have a deep, earnest, and vehement spirit, and no earnest task has ever been assigned to it. You despise and ridicule the meanness of the things about you. To the things you honour you can only pay a fervent adoration, which issues in no practical effect. Oh that I saw you the mistress of a house, diffusing over human souls that loved you those clear faculties of order, judgment, elegance, which you are now reduced to spend on pictures and portfolios — blessing living hearts with that enthusiastic love which you must now direct to the distant and the dimly seen! All this is in you. You have a heart, and an intellect, and a resolute decision which might make you the model of wives, however widely your thoughts and your experience have hitherto wandered from that highest distinction of the noblest women. I, too, have wandered wide and far. Let us return; let us return together! Let us learn through one another what it is to live! . . . The first, the lowest, but a most essential point, is that of funds. On this matter I have still little to tell you that you do not know. Lfeel, in general, that I have ordinary faculties in me, and an ordinary degree of diligence in using them, and that SEEIOUS PROPOSITIONS 49 thousands manage life in comfort with even slenderer resources. . . . To my taste, cleanliness and order are far beyond gilding and grandeur, which, without them, is an abomination; and for displays, for festivals, and parties, 1 believe you are as indisposed as myself. . . Two laws I have laid down to myself: that I must and will recover health, without which to think, or even to live, is burdensome or unprofitable; and that I will not degener- ate into the wretched thing which calls itself an author, in our capitals, and scribbles for the sake of lucre in the periodicals of the day. . . I begin to entertain a certain degree of contempt for the destiny which has so long persecuted me. I will be a man in spite of it. Yet it lies with you whether I shall be a right man, or only a hard and bitter Stoic ! . . Speak, then! Think well of me, of yourself, of our circum- stances, and determine! Dare you trust me? dare you trust your fate with me, as I trust mine with you ? Judge if I wait your answer with impatience. I know you will not keep me waiting. Of course, it will be necessary to explain all things to your mother, and take her serious advice respecting them. For your other friends, it is not worth while consulting one of them. I know not that there is one among them that would give you as disinterested advice as even I, judging in my own cause. May God bless you and direct you! Decide as you will. This was manly and true — sure to move a nature like that of Jane Welsh. What woman could have read the letter unmoved ? But Miss Welsh was intensely practical, and saw difificulties which Carlyle could not see. She was keenly conscious of his total unfitness for the life he was proposing, and doubtless felt its extreme unsuitability, at all points, to herself. She answered his letter with a plain and unvarnished truthfulness, which would have caused any ordinary man and lover to throw up the whole project, and turn away for ever from the terribly clear-sighted and deliberate young lady. Here are passages from her reply, dated Haddington, January 13, 1825: — I little thought my joke about your farming Craigenputtock was to be made the basis of such a serious and extraordinary project. 50 GIRLHOOD . . , You have sometimes asked me, Did I ever think ? For once in my life, at least, I have thought myself into a vertigo, and without coming to any positive conclusion. However, my mind, such as it is, on the matter you have thus precipitately forced on my consideration, I will explain to you frankly and explicitly, as the happiness of us both requires. I love you, and I should be the most ungrateful and injudicious of mortals if I did not. But I am not m lore with you; that is to say, my love for you is not a passion which overclouds w/ judgment, and absorbs all my regard for myself and others. It is a simple, honest, serene afTection, made up of admiration and sympathy, and better, perhaps, to found domestic enjoyment on than any other. In short, it is a love which itifiuences, does not make, the destiny of a life. Such temperate sentiments lend no false colouring, no 'rosy light ' to your project. I see it, such as it is, with all the argu- ments for and against it. I see that my consent, under existing circumstances, would, indeed, secure to me the only fellowship and support I have found in the world, and perhaps, too, shed some sunshine of joy on your existence, which has hitherto been sullen and cheerless; but, on the other hand, that it would involve you and myself in numberless cares and difficulties, and expose me to petty tribulations which I want fortitude to despise, and which, not despised, would embitter the peace of us both. I do not wish for fortune more than is sufficient for my wants — my natural wants, and the artificial ones, which habit has rendered nearly as importunate as the others. But I will not consent to live on less; because, in that case, every inconvenience I was subjected to would remind me of what I had quitted, and the idea of a sacrifice should have no place in a voluntary union. Neither have I any wish for grandeur; the glittering baits of titles and honours are only for children and fools. But I conceive it a duty which every one owes to society, not to throw up that station in it which Providence has assigned him; and, having this conviction, I could not marry into a station inferior to my own with the approval of my judgment, which alone could enable me to brave the censures of my acquaintance. And now, let me ask you, have you any ceriai'ji livelihood to maintain me in the manner I have been used to live in ? SLXxyJixed place in the rank of society I have been born and bred in ? No! OPPOSITION 51 You have projects for attaining both, capabilities for attaining both, and much more. But as yet you have not attained them. Use the noble gifts which God has given you. You have prudence — though, by the way, this last proceeding is no great proof of it. Devise, then, how you may gain yourself a moderate but settled income. Think of some more promising plan than farming the most barren spot in the county of Dumfriesshire. What a thing that would be, to be sure — you and I keeping house at Craigen- puttock ! I would as soon think of building myself a nest on the Bass Rock. Nothing but your ignorance of the spot saves you from the imputation of insanity for admitting such a thought. Depend upon it, you could not exist there a twelvemonth. For my part, I could not spend a month at it with an angel. Think of something else, then. Apply your industry to carry it into effect; your talents to gild over the inequality of our births — and then we will talk of marrying. If all this were realised, I think I should have good sense enough to abate something of my romantic ideal, and to content myself with stopping short on this side idolatry. At all events, I will marry no one else. This is all the promise I can or will make. . . Write instantly, and tell me that you are content to leave the event to time and destiny, and, in the meanwhile, to continue my friend and guardian — which you have so long faithfully been — and nothing more ! It would be more agreeable to etiquette, and, perhaps, also to prudence, that I should adopt no middle course in an affair such as this; that I should not for another instant encourage an affection which I may never reward, and a hope I may never fulfil, but cast your heart away from me at once, since I cannot embrace the resolution which would give me a right to it for ever. This I would assuredly do if you were like the generality of lovers, or if it were still in my power to be happy independent of your affection. But, as it is, neither etiquette nor prudence can obtain this of me. If there is any change to be made in the terms on which we have so long lived with one another, it must be made by you, not by me. This remarkable letter shows something of Jane Welsh's nature. It shows distinctly that she did not wish to give up Carlyle, or to give up the hope of being his wife. It 52 GIRLHOOD shows that she was certainly attached to him, since she speaks of her friendship with him as the 'only fellowship and support' she had found in the world; and hers was a nature sorely needing both. One cannot doubt the sincerity of these words, so sacredly written — words which, were they not already before the public eye, would not have been here produced in print. The strong native Scotch prudence dis- played in the letter would not be at all disenchanting to a man like Carlyle. First of all, he was too noble to consider anything in her as mean; secondly, he had been brought up in a hard school, and knew that some consideration for ' loaves and fishes ' was inevitable in every human arrange- ment; thirdly, he loved her, and her ambitions for him were sweet in his ears. Then, had she not assured him that she would marry none other but himself ? And had she not admitted that it was no longer possible for her to live happy, independent of his affection ? This was much for any man to receive assurance of. But the rejection of his definite proposition gave him pain. He replied, assuring her that selfishness had no place in his motives — that she had imperfectly understood him. He told her of the mighty voice within him urging him to work, * to rebuild his destiny, not to die without ever having lived.* In exploring the chaotic structure of my fortunes (he writes to Miss Welsh), I find my affection for you intertwined with every part of it; connected with whatever is holiest in my feel- ings or most imperative in my duties. It is necessary for me to understand completely how this matter stands; to investigate my own wishes and power in regard to it; to know of you both what you will do and what you will not do. These things once clearly settled, our line of conduct will be clear also. Alluding to his proposition, he says; — Had you accepted it. I should not by any means have thought the battle won. I should have hailed your assent, and the disposition of mind it bespoke, with a deep but serious joy; DISAPPOINTMENT ACCEPTED 53 with a solemn hope, as indicating the distinct possibility that two true hearts might be united and made happy through each other — might by their joint, unwearied efforts be transplanted from the barren wilderness, where both seemed out of place, into scenes of pure and wholesome activity, such as Nature fitted both of them to enjoy and adorn. You have rejected it, I think wisely; with your actual pur- poses and views, we should both have been doubly wretched had you acted otherwise. Your love of me is completely under the control of judgment, and subordinated to other principles of duty or expediency. Your happiness is not by any means irre- trievably connected with mine. Believe me, I am not hurt or angry. I merely wished to know. It was only in brief moments of enthusiasm that I ever looked for a different result. And further on he says: * Alas ! without great sacrifices on both sides the possibility of our union is an empty dream.' Here one is tempted to ask what sacrifice Carlyle himself felt would be demanded of hwi in the contemplated marriage with Miss Welsh ? It was not the utterance of selfish thoughtlessness. Had he gained some knowledge of the restless spirit with which he would be linking his own for all time ? Did he realise that his part, if well and nobly played, would not be an easy one — that, possibly, the task of making this beautiful creature happy, would demand more than the spirit could give ? It is clear that Miss Welsh, in her con- fidences with him, had taught him to regard hers as an isolated and detached nature, inharmoniously placed by cir- cumstances. She must have given this impression very strongly to Carlyle, or the brave, simple man would never have dreamed of offering to fill the blank in her life. Of his own fitness to do so, of his power to carry out the wildly imaginative programme, he surely could never be expected to judge. But of mere selfishness he must be altogether acquitted. Now this (he adds) is what I would do were it in my power. I would ask a generous spirit, one whose happiness depended 54 GIRLHOOD on seeing me happy, and whose temper and purposes were kindred to my own — I would ask such a noble being to let us unite our resources; not her wealth and rank merely — for these were a small and unessential fraction of the prayer — but her judgment, her patience, prudence, her true aflfection, to mine, and let us try if, by neglecting •» 'hat was not important, and striving with faithful and inseparable hearts after what was, we could not rise above the miserable obstructions that beset us both, into regions of serene dignity, living as became us in the sight of God and all reasonable men, happier than millions of our brethren, and each acknowledging with fervent gratitude that to the other he and she owed all. You are such a gener- ous spirit. But your purposes and feelings are not such. Per- haps it is happier for you that they are not. . . . I have thought of these things till my brain was like to crack. I do not pretend that my conclusions are indubitable. I am still open to better light. But this, at present, is the best I have. Do you also think of all this — not in any spirit of anger, but in the spirit of love and noble-mindedness which you have always shown me. If we must part, let us part in tenderness, and go forth upon our several paths, lost to the future, but in possession of the past! No woman could be unmoved by such words as these. Supposing that Carlyle was deceived — self-deceived — it was yet in utter unconsciousness of the fact, that he thus tenderly, manfully pleaded. It is easy, looking back now on the strange and saddening history of his marriage, to say that he would have been better unmarried, left to wrestle out the mighty struggles and intellectual throes within him in abso- lute solitude. For his life was to be a convulsion, as it were, of spiritual forces, gathered to a climax in each of his won- derful books, and, after an interval of dissatisfied torpor, not rest — for he knew not rest — gathering again to gigantic effort and result. It is easy now, when all is over, to reason thus, with great show of truth and probability. But Carlyle had tenderer yearnings. His love for his mother showed that he had a loving heart; and, had he not felt still stronger love for Miss Welsh, he would never have A BAFFLING NATURE 55 sought to marry her. He could have developed his great powers without contracting a tie so close as that of marriage. And truly selfish men, as a rule, do not marry. Carlyle's ignorance of himself is touching, his action in the matter of his marriage based on the noblest integrity and good faith. It was impossible for him to view the matter otherwise than he did. If the hope of gaining a wife whose companionship would brighten life be selfish, then Carlyle's selfishness is shared by most men. As to his estimate of love, that was as God had given it to him. His pure life had left the shrine untouched and undesecrated. All that he had to offer, he offered out of an honest heart to Jane Welsh, and bade her accept or reject the gift as she would. The reply to this last letter was still more outspoken on the lady's part: — ... I have refused my immediate consent to your wishes (she writes) because our mutual happiness seemed to require that I should refuse it. But for the rest, I have not slighted your wishes; on the contrary, I have expressed my Vv'illingness to fulfil them at the expense of everything but what I deem essential to our happiness. And, so far from undervaluing you, I have shown you, in declaring that I would marry no one else, not only that I esteem you above all the men I have ever seen, but also that I am persuaded I should esteem you above all the men I may ever see. What, then, have you to be hurt or angry at? . . . Yet I am prudent, I fear, only because I am not strongly tempted to be otherwise. My heart is capable (I feel it is) of a love to which no deprivation would be a sacrifice — a love which would overleap that reverence for opinion with which education and weakness have begirt my sex, would bear down all the restraints which duty and expediency might throw in the way, and carry every thought of my being impetuously along with it. But the all-perfect mortal who could inspire me with a love so extravagant, is nowhere to be found — exists nowhere but in the romance of my own imagination. Perhaps it is better for me as it is. A passion like the torrent in the violence of its course might, perhaps, too, like the torrent, leave ruin and 5 6 GIRLHOOD desolation behind. In the meantime, I should be mad to act as if from the influence of such a passion, while my affections are in a state of perfect tranquillity. To an ordinary lover such language as this would be chill- ing in the extreme; but, after all, it must be admitted, that what Miss Welsh had to offer was very much what Carlyle professed to require. He did not desire a whirlwind of passionate love; he would not have known what to do with it. His own expressions of feeling were as moderate, as temperate, as those of Miss Welsh. And a young lady who could speak of a passionate love that might leave ruin and desolation behind, was presumably less entirely untried in the subject than her philosophic and simple-hearted lover, and more able to judge what she really was offering than was he to estimate it exactly as it deserved. It needed Scotch people to enter so minutely and deliber- ately into the counting of the soul's pulse in an affair of the kind. Some writer speaks of being at a ball in Scotland when, on the sudden ceasing of the music, a fair maiden was heard to say to her partner in the dance: 'What you say, my lord, may be very true when spoken of love in the abstract. This correspondence brings the matter to a very abstract position. Miss Welsh eagerly repudiates the notion that she should ' attain wealth and rank,' possibly, by an ambitious marriage. I merely wish (she writes) to see you earning a certain liveli- hood, and exercising the profession of a gentleman. . , . Nor was it wholly with a view to improvement in your external cir- cumstances that I have made their fulfilment a condition to our union, but also with a view to some improvement in my senti- ments toward you, which might be brought about in the mean- time. In withholding this matter in my former letter, I was guilty of a false and ill-timed reserve. My tenderness for your feelings betrayed me into an insincerity which is not natural to me. I thought that the most decided objection to your circum- stances would pain you less than the least objection to your- DEB A TABLE GROUND 5 ^ self; while, in truth, it is in some measure grounded on both. I must be sincere, I find, at any cost. It cannot be asserted, after reading this passage, that Miss Welsh //^^been quite fair and open with Thomas Carlyle. She herself pleads guilty to insincerity. No woman can quite honestly propose to herself to accept the addresses of a man to whom she feels a personal objection; and such is plainly acknowledged here. She was not forced to marry Carlyle; he himself left her, to the end, perfectly free to with- draw from the undertaking. She was frank enough in this letter, for she continues: — As I have said, then, in requiring you to better your fortunes I had some view to an improvement in my sentiments. I am not sure that they are proper sentiments for a husband. They are proper for a brother, a father, a guardian-spirit; but a hus- band, it seems to me, should be dearer still. At the same time, from the change which my sentiments towards you have already undergone during the period of our acquaintance, I have little doubt but that in time I shall be perfectly satisfied with them. . . . My afTection for you increases. Not many months ago I would have said it was itnpossible that I should ever be your wife. At present I consider this the most probable destiny for me. In a year or two I shall perhaps consider it the only one. Let us for a moment consider Carlyle's position in this matter. He could not, obviously, deter Miss Welsh from her wish gradually to develop towards him sentiments that should render a marriage with him the only destiny possible for her, even had he felt, as he may have done, that the great master-passion was absent altogether from her feelings tow- ards him. When he, in his doubts, spoke of their agreeing to part, she would not consent. She would not believe that he meant what he said. ' How could I,' she said, ' part from the only living one that understands me ? ' It was really she who would not set him free; and he desired no freedom from the sweet bonds which held him, save only if it were to end in a bondage no longer sweet for either of them, as he feared 58 GIRLHOOD at times. He acted with simple loyalty and directness, fol- lowing as best he could all Miss Welsh's tortuous reasonings, and arguments /rt? and con^ and marking her one determina- tion, which was — not to be set free, at any cost. 'Were you to will it,' she writes to him, 'parting would no longer be bitter. The bitterness would be in thinking you unworthy.' What wonder that Carlyle remained constant to his vows ? She was the star to which he turned; yet would he manfully have faced the starless night without her, had she been willing. But, as we have seen, she was not willing. I know not (she says in a subsequent letter) how yovr spirit has gained such a mastery over mine, in spite of my pride and stubbornness. But so it is. Though self-willed as a mule with others, I am tractable and submissive towards you. I heatKen to your voice as to the dictates of a second Conscience, hardly less awful to me than that which Nature has implanted in my breast. How comes it, then, that you have this power over me ? for it is not the effect of your genius and virtue merely. Some- times, in my serious moods, I believe it is a charm with which my good angel has fortified my heart against evil. Would any man desire a sweeter tribute from the woman he loves — a woman so eminent, too, for strength of will ? These letters, from which extracts have been given, show most convincingly how each of these people differed from the ordinary run of humanity. Had either one been wholly normal and natural, no marriage could possibly have resulted from such preliminaries. The wonderful thing is, that two such exceptional people should have met^ and formed that tie — two people with so many points in common, so much that was almost identical in their natures. There were, indeed, startling points of resemblance existing from the beginning, but developed largely as time went on. Carlyle was instinctively drawn to her, whose great power was in many ways to mould his life; she, in her turn, was persist- ently attracted to the man of genius, through whose medium THE MYSTEJ^y OF LIFE 59 she was to be moulded, by mysterious methods, to the god- like proportions not clearly visible to the world's eye. Each was to be taught much, patiently and painfully, through the other. But noble ends, pure lives, endless strivings and hopings, consecrated the way. A stony path it was, but leading to the stars. Carlyle's was essentially a lonely nature, separate from fnuch that enters into the motives and actions of ordinary men. He felt his intense solitude, and craved for a gentle and intellectual companionship. It was all very natural; and if there was self-deception in the plan, it is but such as forms no unkindly part of many human impulses, without detracting from their sincerity. As to the question whether Miss Welsh was happy in her choice, we must ask ourselves, first, whether she possessed the absolute requisites for happiness in her own nature and character, under any given circumstances and influences; and, secondly, whether we are to regard happiness as the acknowledged end and aim of life. If this latter proposition be admitted, there opens a far wider question, obviously unsuitable for discussion here. We cannot regard as failures lives which serve to bring out the noblest and highest powers. We may deplore the painful methods though which alone, from causes hidden from us, those grand qualities and elevated courses of action can be drawn forth. And these two were both noble natures. 6o GIRLHOOD CHAPTER VI A.D. 1825 Carlyle at Hoddam Hill — Miss Welsh's transference of Craigenput- tock to her mother — Carlyle's personal appearance at this time — Miss Welsh's beauty— Letter from Mrs. Montagu to Miss Welsh — Reference to Edward Irving — An independent spirit — Second letter of Mrs. Montagu — Results — Miss Welsh informs Carlyle of her old attachment to Irving — A woman's appeal — Carlyle's reply — Imperfect understanding — Exciting correspondence — En- gagement of Miss Welsh and Thomas Carlyle — Visits to Hoddam Hill and Mainhill — Difficulties as to future residence — Incompati- bility between Carlyle and Mrs. Welsh — Misgivings — Corre- spondence with the Carlyle family — Their removal to Scotsbrig. It was in March 1825 that Carlyle removed to Hoddam Hill, a farm leased for him by his father, and farmed by his brother, Alexander Carlyle. Here for a time he devoted him- self to translating from the German, relieved by vigorous exercise on his Irish horse * Larry,' and gave the rest of his time, no doubt, to love-dreams and long letters to Miss Welsh. This time was spoken of in later years by Carlyle as 'a russet-coated idyl.' The position between the two was un- usual; it was anomalous. So early as August 19, 1823, she had written to him: ' I owe you much: feelings and senti- ments that ennoble my character, that give dignity, interest, and enjoyment to my life. In return, I can only love you, and that I do from the bottom of my heart.' Still, he was ready to resign the hope of marriage. Miss Welsh, however, as we have seen, began to think it her destiny. Proud and inde- pendent, she had caused a legal deed to be executed transfer- ring to her mother, for the lifetime of the latter, the whole A CRITICAL CONFIDENCE 6 1 life-interest of Craigenputtock, some two hundred pounds a year. Determined she was that none should cast a slur on Thomas Carlyle's possible marriage with herself, and equally determined to secure the mother, whom she deeply loved, from want, whatever her own personal fate and fortunes were to be. This legal instrument, however, was supplemented by one leaving Craigenputtock to Carlyle after her own and her mother's death. It was well done, nobly done, showing the high opinion she had of Carlyle, and that she could not brook that others, in their ignorance, should think meanly of him. Carlyle was now about thirty years of age: a tall, spare, angular man, with the rugged features and intense expres- sion we know so well; his tint was ruddy, as of one much in the open air; his fine eyes a clear, deep blue — remarkable eyes, once seen, never to be forgotten; eyes that could flash forth indignation, but that could, and did, express much kindliness at times; a firm, dogged line of mouth, and an abundant shock of brown hair. Miss Welsh was something over twenty-four years of age, very beautiful, arch, and attractive, 5 feet 4 inches in height, slender, and singu- larly graceful, in the prime of womanhood. They must have been a goodly pair, and matters between them could hardly be expected to stand still indefinitely. A strange circum- stance hastened the decisive step in this matter. The impulsive Edward Irving, after first settling in London, had opened up the secrets of his heart to his valued friend, Mrs, Basil Montagu. Such confidences are critical, and though a man would naturally choose the wisest and best woman to whom to entrust them, still that same confidante may be romantic and imaginative. ' How some women love love^ says a great American writer — and so it is. The lady was profoundly interested, regarded Edward Irving as a noble martyr to duty — a sentiment we cannot endorse, as he had a good and loving wife in the lady whom, certainly, he had once desired to marry. Besides, the matter was all over and settled, and, had Irving thought fit, as a truly manly man 62 GIRLHOOD would have thought fit, to keep silence on the story of his old love, all might have ended, if not well, at least other- wise than actually fell out. For Mrs. Montagu, who corresponded occasionally with Carlyle, and had introduced herself by letter to Miss Welsh, felt irresistibly impelled to act the Dea ex machtnd, and administer some comfort to the beautiful young lady, whom she pictured to herself as pining in disappointed love for Edward Irving. But there was no balm to administer that a brave, loyal woman could take, and no wound complained of which should need such soothing. More than that, there was a proud and independent spirit, which would, in any case, have thrown aside such consolation. Mrs. Montagu had acted on what proved to be, so far as Miss Welsh was concerned, ' a foregone conclusion ' — a very unsafe thing, sure to lead to disaster. Actuated by this, and by a sincerely kind motive, she seems to have thought it politic and desirable to disparage Irving some- what, and to paint him as one not deserving of such lifelong constancy as she, no doubt, believed Miss Welsh to retain with regard to him. She therefore dwelt on his having now other interests and other ambitions, and intimated that any woman who should concentrate her heart on him would find nothing but disappointment. But it is, as we have been told by a great poet, a delicate matter to meddle with souls; and Mrs. Montagu, with all her admirable motives and well- meant efforts, doing, probably, 'as she would be done by,' made a grievous mistake. Regarding Carlyle as simply an intimate of both the young people she was interested in, she wrote also to him on the subject, assuming, with beautiful unconsciousness, that he doubtless was aware of the circum- stances; and thus Carlyle learned, for the first time, of the affection which had certainly existed at one time between Edward Irving and Miss Welsh; only he heard of it as still unextinguished, still living, and causing pain. The fact that for two years past Miss Welsh had never DEEP WA TERS STIRRED 63 mentioned Edward Irving but with bitterness and mockery in speaking of him to Carlyle, might have made an ordinary man suspicious of the relations between them. But Carlyle was not like other men, and he believed in Miss Welsh. He believed in Irving — as, at least, ahigh-souled man of honour. So he was not troubled, and, when writing to Miss Welsh, merely mentioned Mrs. Montagu's eloquent statements as a strange delusion. Mrs. Montagu, not feeling she had done her whole duty, was ready with a reply to Miss Welsh's assurance that she was in no way pining for Edward Irving, and, indeed, was about to marry Mr. Carlyle. Even this explicit statement did not quench Mrs. Montagu's determination to do^ her duty, and, in her quixotic attempt to set matters straight, and under the fatal idea that she understood the affairs of these people better than they did themselves, she, in true, kindly warm-heartedness, wrote again, adjuring Miss Welsh not to marry Carlyle if she were still attached to Irving — not, in fact, to allow a generous impulse to sway her, where only the heart's strongest feelings ought to be listened to. After the first appeal, Miss Welsh had commented to Carlyle, some days later, on the well-meant interference: ' I had two sheets from Mrs. Montagu the other day, trying to prove to me that I did not know my own heart. Mercy ! how romantic she is ! ' This was a natural result of the letter. But after the second letter. Miss Welsh certainly wrote to Carlyle in a very different strain. She felt it honourably incumbent on her to tell Carlyle that she had indeed loved Edward Irving once — passionately loved him. There was neither shame nor re- proach in the fact. If she had shown weakness in loving a man whom she knew to be engaged to another, she had at least made amends by helping to decide him to marry that other, and to save his honour from all reproach. What nobler part could a true woman take ? What else can be the result where the man is good, and the woman is good, and where it 64 GIRLHOOD is love, and not a lower feeling, which draws them together. No mystery is here that an honourable human heart cannot understand; nothing to blush for, though the angels might weep over it. Jane Welsh keenly felt the necessity of showing Carlyle, who so intensely believed in her, that she had not been with- out disguise. If now his sternly upright nature turned from her, she could but bow the head; and very touchingly, with a woman's tenderness, she added, that he had never been so dear to her as now, when both his affection and his respect for her hung in the balance. 'Woe to me ! then,' she says, * if your reason be my judge, and not your love.' This is not the language of bitterness; it is calm, reasonable, and natural — sure to appeal to a man's generosity. Carlyle replied after his own nature: 'You exaggerate this matter greatly,' he said; 'let it go to strengthen the schoolings of experience. You ask me to forgive you ! Forgiveness V . . . And again: ' Come and see, and determine. Let me hear you, and do you hear me. As I am, take or refuse me; but not as I am not^ for this will not, and cannot come to good. God help us both, and show us both the way we ought to walk in ! ' These are manly and honourable words, but they show unmistakably how little able Carlyle was to enter into and fully comprehend the ordinary feelings of human nature. He would have taken fright had he fully understood what Miss Welsh was telling him. It would have been he, and not Mrs. Montagu, who would have entreated the young girl to look well into her own heart before uniting her fate with his. All these people were blindly trying to do what was right. Mrs, Montagu, firmly believing that an impulsive, imaginative girl was about to make a mistaken and loveless marriage, tried to stave off what she felt could only end in disaster. Miss Welsh, after the fact of her attachment to Edward Irving had been told to Carlyle, in all good faith, by Mrs. Montagu, hastened honourably to admit that it had existed^ but was A BOLD STEP 65 now a thing of the past, and replaced by the strong influence of the man who understood and valued her, whose love was now all in all to her, as she believed; and Carlyle, in his honourable humility, lost no time in giving that young girl an opportunity of gravely reconsidering the whole position of affairs, and specially the step she was about to take, divesting it of all possible halo of false colouring by asking her to visit the farms of Hoddam Hill — where he was with his mother and his brother Alick — and Mainhill, where his sisters were keeping house for the father. Here Miss Welsh would see, with her quick eyes, the exact level and status of that family to which this genius, Thomas Carlyle, belonged. He was not ashamed of them. There was no cause for shame. He was proud of them and loved them truly. His relations with them were beautiful to the end. But it was a bold step to invite the elegant young lady to visit these humble homes, and Carlyle was brave and manly in taking it. Miss Welsh had been staying for a time with her grand- father, Walter Welsh, at Templand, when the time came for her to pay this memorable visit. It had been preceded by an exciting correspondence, and at last, taking the opportunity of her comparative nearness, she determined to go over and bravely to face the whole position. She was ever energetic, decisive and thorough, in all she did, to the end. Carlyle's earnest wish that she should reconsider the matter, his expressed doubt as to whether he could make her happy — all went for nothing. In September 1825 she set forth by coach, expecting Carlyle to meet her on the road; but there had been a mistake. From Kelhead Kilns, the next morn- ing, she sent him a characteristic little note, dated Friday, September 3, 1825: — Good morning, sir, — I am not at all to blame for your dis- appointment last night. The fault was partly your own. . . . In the meantime I have billeted myself in a snug little house by the wayside, where I purpose remaining with all imaginable patience till you can make it convenient to come and fetch me, 66 GIRLHOOD being afraid to proceed directly to Hoddam Hill, in case so sud- den an apparition should throw the whole family into hysterics. If the pony has any prior engagement, never mind. I can make a shift to walk two miles in pleasant company. Any way, pray make all possible despatch, in case the owner of these premises should think I intend to make a regular settlement in them. Yours, Jane. The fact of the engagement was now known to the Carlyle family, and naturally was a source of pleasure and anxiety, as the new acquisition to the family circle was felt to be a lady of somewhat different upbringing to the homely and worthy circle she was about to enter. And though for a country surgeon's daughter to marry a man of genius whose father was a stonemason, possibly presents no incon- gruity, it yet remains that the cultivation and refinement in which Jane Welsh had been reared had created a different atmosphere from that in which she found herself with the excellent people at Hoddam Hill. ' She stayed with us about a week,' Carlyle writes, ' happy, as was very evident, and making happy. . . . From the first moment all embarrass- ment, even my mother's, tremulous and anxious as she naturally was, fled away without return.' It seems that Carlyle's mother, who loved him so, was there to receive Miss Welsh in her son's home at Hoddam Hill, and afterwards accompanied her back to the family home at Mainhill, where were Carlyle's sisters and his father. The two farms seem to have been in occupation of the family at this time, the two sisters keeping home for the father at Mainhill, and the mother keeping house at Hoddam Hill for Thom.as and Alexander. We are prettily told of the reception given to the bright young lady by the family party at Mainhill, and how the father, called in from farmwork to give welcome to his son's intended wife, withdrew to wash and shave and don his Sunday clothes, before receiving the fair girl's dutiful salute. Carlyle says: ' She came to know us all, saw, face to face, us^ AN IMPORTANT CONSIDERA TlON 6/ and the peasant element and way of life we lead; and was -not afraid of it, but recognized, like her noble self, what of intrinsic worth it might have, what of real human dignity. . . .' It was, perhaps, something like Marie Antoinette's idea of country life, as realised at the Petit Trianon — as un- real, in one way, as there was an unusual exaltation present which veiled the true nature and effect of such country life from the sensitive and delicate young lady, and she saw it all like a scene in a play in which she was an actress. Carlyle was so impressed with the fact that the ' Hadding- ton element had grown dreary and unfruitful ' to Miss Welsh, that it is easily understood that he honestly believed he was offering her something better. Supposing, however, that Miss Welsh were willing to enter on this method of existence, there was yet another person to think of, and that was Mrs. Welsh, delicately nur- tured, sentimental in her ideas to the end, yet well aware that those youthful enthusiasms which run to ' love in a cot- tage ' are apt to turn out most disastrously at times. Then, she knew her child: she had studied from early childhood that finely strung, nervous organisation, so brave, yet so apt to suffer; she knew that the wearing monotony of farm-life would not minister to health and peace in this delicate frame, and she viewed with dismay the final resolution of her beau- tiful Jeannie after the visit to Hoddam Hill. It was a sad time to the two women. Miss Welsh told Carlyle of the painful interviews with her mother, and received all the comfort he could give in his answering letters. Mrs. Welsh was not attracted towards Carlyle, doubted his even- ness of temper, disliked his strong governing disposition, being herself fond of ruling, and she naturally felt an anxiety about ' ways and means,' as any mother ought to do under the circumstances. She by no means shared her daughter's unbounded faith in Carlyle' s genius. He seemed to her unfitted to fight the battle of life to practical advantage. No wonder she felt deeply concerned. 68 GIRLHOOD Carlyle writes very searchingly to Miss Welsh: — If your mind have any wavering (he says) follow the truth fearlessly, not heeding me, for I am ready with alacrity to for- ward your anticipated happiness in any way. Or, was this your love of me no girlish whim, but the calm, deliberate self-offering of a woman to the man whom her reason and her heart had made choice of? Then is it a crime in you to love me, whose you are in the sight of God and man ? There is a touching earnestness in these words of Carlyle's. What, in truth, could he honourably do but hold fast to his engagement? That Miss Welsh considered her future as finally fixed, is amply demonstrated in a letter written to Carlyle's mother in November of the same year, from George Square, Edinburgh. Indeed (she says), the more I am in the way of what is com- monly called pleasure, the more I think of the calm days I spent under your roof. I have never been so happy since, though I have been at several fine entertainments, . . . and this is in no wise strange, since affection is the native element of my soul, and that I found in your cottage, warm and pure. She was delicate, too, in those days, for she adds: — All my impatience to see Haddington failed to make the journey hither agreeable, which was as devoid of ' Christian comfort ' as anything you can suppose. Never was poor damsel reduced to such 'extremities of fate.' I was sick, woefully sick, and, notwithstanding that I had on four petticoats, benumbed with cold. To make my wretchedness as complete as possible we did not reach Edinburgh till many hours after dark. Sixteen miles more, and my wanderings for this season are at an end. Would that my trials were ended also! But no. Tell Mr. Carlyle my handsome cousin is coming to Haddington, with his sister Phoebe, and his valet Henley, and his great dog Toby, over and above Dash, Craigen, Fanny, and Frisk. My heart misgives me at the prospect of this inundation of company, for their ways are not my ways, and what is amusement to them is death to me. But I must just be patient, as usual. Verily I should need to be Job, instead of Jane Welsh, to bear these everlasting an- noyances with any degree of composure. A MARKED TEMPERAMENT 69 I quote this letter to point out, first, that, even in these early days, Miss Welsh could not. travel without serious bodily suffering; secondly, that she passionately disparages social entertainments and company; and, thirdly, that she writes with that strongly accentuated emphasis on ordinary matters, which, later in life, when she had, as the old nurses say, ^something to cry for ^ adds such painful intensity to her records of what befell her. It was a strongly dramatic gift, and Jane Welsh possessed it from the beginning, and would have manifested it under any circumstances. Carlyle possessed the same extraordinary power. It was often like using a steam-hammer to crack a hazel-nut; but, when once under- stood and recognized, the truth is less harmful than hel-pful in forming a just verdict of these very remarkable persons. In the letter here quoted. Miss Welsh continues: — Mr. Carlyle must write next week without fail to Hadding- ton, lest, in vexation of spirit, I curse God and die . . . (and she concludes), I am writing under many eyes, and in the noise of many tongues. God bless you! I am, always affectionately yours, Jane B. Welsh. There is also a kind and graceful letter to Carlyle's little sister Jean, who, from her black eyes and hair, had the pet name of the ' Craw ! ' She was the only dark-complexioned member of the family, taking after the mother; all the rest being blonde. After Miss Welsh's visit to Hoddam Hill, Carlyle con- tinued his translating, smoking a pipe of an evening with his good mother, who never wearied in the effort to keep him spiritually in a satisfactory and orthodox condition. He felt himself happy at this time, master of ' his own four walls ' and revelling in the thought, delighting to reflect on the devoted love which ever had surrounded him. ' There is no grumbling,* he says, * at my habitudes and whims. If I choose to dine on fire-and-brimstone, they will cook it for me to their best skill.' It was perhaps not the best possible 70 GIRLHOOD preparation for married life, this intense family adoration; but it was soothing, and Carlyle could value it. But changes were now impending. Differences with the landlord of the farm arose. Hoddam Hill was given up, and the lease of Mainhill, which fell in at the same time, was not renewed. The whole Carlyle family, therefore, returned to Scotsbrig — a substantial and well-sheltered farm near Ecclefechan, where in time both the parents died. CHAPTER VII A.D. 1825-1826 Loyalty of Miss Welsh — Her sense of being bound to the engage- ment with Carlyle — Proposal to live at Scotsbrig — The actual versus the ideal — Miss Welsh's mind made up — Carlyle's deter- mination not to live in the house with Mrs. Welsh — A daughter's devotion and appeal — Renunciation of the cherished wish — The point yielded. This change of plans affected the position of things between Carlyle and Miss Welsh : for he longed with a fierce longing for a home of his own, and with whom should that now be but with his promised wife ? But there were obstacles. We have seen what was Mrs. Welsh's attitude on the subject of the marriage. Mrs. Welsh, romantic in her ideas and passionately loving her child, would fain have restored the property and gone to live with her father, Walter Welsh, at Templand. But the high-spirited Jane Welsh would never hear of such a plan as this. She might herself consent to live in poverty, but her mother should be provided for; and she was inflexible. She had agreed to the visions of Carlyle of taking a small house in Edinburgh, so that Mrs. Welsh could live beside them. Even this was a change from the ideas of a year before, when it was a cottage in the country that had been held up to Miss Welsh as the only desirable home for her and him. Surely (she writes to Carlyle), you are the most tantalising man in the world, and I the most tractable woman. This time twelve months, nothing would content you but to live in the country, and, though a country life never before attracted my desires, it nevertheless became my choice the instant it seemed 71 72 GIRLHOOD to be yours. . . A change comes over the spirit of your dream. While the birds are yet humming, the roses blooming, and every- thing is in summer glory about our ideal cottage, I am called away to live in p7-ospectti in the smoke and bustle and icy cold- ness of Edinburgh. Now this I call a trial of patience and obedience — and say! could I have complied more readily though I had been your wedded wife ten times over ? And in closing her letter, she says: * But what am I talk- ing about ? As if we were not already married — married past redemption ! God knows, in that case, what is to become of us ! At times I am so disheartened that I sit down and weep.' It seems almost as though these two people were talking in different languages, and without the intervention of an interpreter. It would, perhaps, have solved matters for the moment had the three lived together — Mrs. Welsh and her daughter and Carlyle. But it would have been but the beginning of new troubles, and, if even seriously proposed, was wisely abandoned. That it was contemplated seems pretty clear. Meantime Carlyle's answer to the heart-breaking words of Miss Welsh amounted to a repetition of the offer to set her free. He is altogether enigmatical. *If you judge it fit,' he writes, ' I will take you to my heart as my wedded wife this very week. If you judge it fit, I will this very week forswear you forever.' Surely these are hard terms to offer to a woman, when a lover leaves all decision to her in so matter- of-fact a way ! Carlyle ends by assuring Miss Welsh that he is hers, at her own disposal, for ever and ever ! Never, surely was such love-making — so bereft of that blessed coukur de rose, which makes many a young life glide so easily and gently into a safe and happy haven ! But now a new idea entered Carlyle's mind. It was that Miss Welsh should marry him and join the household at Scotsbrig. This, he thought, might answer. He * would be a new man, the bitterness of life would pass away like a for- gotten tempest;' and he and she 'would walk in bright DESPERA TE FRANKNESS n weather thenceforward ! ' Here he deceived himself entirely, and lost sight of all the ' fitness of things ' — a wilder dream was never dreamed ! The whole letter is altogether remark- able, and might have been expected to deter any other woman than Jane Welsh from the thought of marrying this desperately plain-spoken lover: — If (says he) my heart and my hand, with the barren and per- plexed destiny which promises to attend them, shall, after all, appear the best this poor world can offer you, then take me, and be content with me, and do not vex yourself with struggling to alter what is unalterable — to make a man who is poor and sick, suddenly become rich and healthy. You tell me you often weep when you think what is to become of us. It is unwise in you to weep. If you are reconciled to be my wife (not the wife of an ideal me, but the simple, actual, prosaic me), there is nothing frightful in the future. I look into it with more and more con- fidence and composure, Alas ! Jane, you do not know me. It is not the poor, rejected, unknown Thomas Carlyle that you know, but the prospective rich, known, and admired. Such expressions would have caused a revulsion of feeling in any ordinary woman. That a future spent with the choice of his heart should simply escape the being called ' frightful,' is something out of all harmony with preconceived ideas and actual experience. These expressions, used at a time when merely to breathe the air breathed by the one beloved, when a chance touch even, fills the whole frame with joy — to view the fulfilling of these dear bonds with 'composure,' and assume it a virtue even to be able to do as much as that — casts a strange light on the whole circumstances of this marriage. Carlyle, in the same letter, says: 'These are hard sayings, my beloved child, but I cannot spare them.' They were indeed ' hard sayings,' and none but a dauntless heart, true as steel, would ever have made the author of them her life- companion. Loyal, brave, and faithful as she was, small wonder that she wept ! 74 GIRLHOOD But Miss Weish had answered this last letter with the assurance that her mind was made up, and she would not alter it. Upon this Carlyle immediately replied that, since this was so, ' she had better wed her wild man of the woods at once, and come and live with him in his cavern in the hope of better days.' The 'cavern ' so unattractive in contempla- tion was, of course, Scotsbrig, where the Carlyle family were now settled. It was not then the idea of two households living under one roof which repelled him, so long as one of those families was his own. Mrs. Welsh, though only one individual, was regarded as an insuperable difficulty when proposed as an inmate of the new home. Carlyle felt, per- haps, that, with that element, he would scarcely preserve the complete supremacy which he enjoyed with his own family, who truly loved him, and delighted to honour his wishes. He forgot that, into whatever inhabited or uninhabited home he should enter, he would take with him, inevitably, that fever- ous, restless nature, that spirit ill-at-ease, storm-tossed, dis- satisfied, wrestling ever with unseen foes, which would effec- tually ban what is called peace from the threshold. He could not be expected to see this fact. Miss Welsh was probably not blind to this aspect of things. Another thing she clearly saw was her duty to her widowed mother, and with much tenderness she tried to place the whole position before Carlyle, who also had a mother whom he truly loved. Miss Welsh pleaded for a united household; that Carlyle and she, after their marriage, should live in the same house with Mrs. Welsh, near Edinburgh, or where he wished; only she besought him not to ask her to forsake her mother, even though Mrs. Welsh's character was not one that ensured constant peace between the mother and daugh- ter. Though she was at times 'difficult,' still she was the mother, and earnestly did her only child desire to be a good daughter. Should I do well (she wrote) to go into Paradise myself, and leave the mother who bore me to break her heart ? She is look- A DAUGHTER'S HEART 75 ing forward to my marriage with a more tranquil mind, in the hope that our separation is to be but nominal — that by living where my husband lives she may at least have every moment of my society which he can spare. And how would it be possible not to disappoint her of this hope, if I went to reside with your people in Annandale ? . . . She would be the most wretched of mothers, the most desolate woman in the world. Oh ! is it for me to make her so ? who am so unspeakably dear to her, in spite of all her caprice ? who am her only, only child, and she a widow? I love you, Mr. Carlyle — tenderly, devotedly. But I may not put my mother away from me, even for your sake. I cannot do it ! . . . I see only one way to escape out of all these perplexities. Be patient with me while I tell you what it is. My mother, like myself, has ceased to feel any contentment in this hateful Haddington, and is bent on disposing of our house here as soon as may be, and hiring one elsewhere. Why should it not be the vicinity of Edinburgh after all } and why should not you live with your wife in your mother's house ? . . . My mother would like you, assuredly she would, if you came to live with her as her son. . . . Her maternal affection, of which there is abundance at the bottom of her heart, would of necessity ex- tend itself to him with whom I was become inseparably con- nected, and mere common-sense would prescribe a kind, motherly behaviour as the only expedient to make the best of what could no longer be helped. Possibly the doubt of Mrs. Welsh's possessing this very quality, ' mere common-sense,' was one ingredient in Carlyle's determined rejection of the plan. Else, attached as he was to his own mother, it was to be expected that he would un- derstand the love Miss Welsh bore to hers, and would have honoured her for it — and perhaps he did — whilst enabling her to act according to its dictates, which he decidedly did not. He knew he was not easy to live with, and had no idea of making conciliations which would surely be demanded of him were Mrs. Welsh a member of his household. He was too honest to professa willingness to submit his will and his ways to a mother-in-law, so he held on to his own views in the face of the tender protest made by his intended wife. He 76 GIRLHOOD stated his opinions most undisguisedly, in words which must forever ' overset the whole project.' It may be stated in a word (he wrote). The man shall bear rule m the house, attd not the woman. This is an eternal axiom, the law of nature which no mortal departs from unpunished. I have meditated on this many years, and every day it grows plainer to me. I must not, and I cannot, live in a house of which I am not head. I should be miserable myself, and make all about me miserable. Think not this comes of an imperious temper, that I shall be a harsh and tyrannical husband to thee. God forbid ! , . . Now think, Liebchen, whether your mother will consent to forget her own riches, and my poverty and uncertain — more probably my scanty — income, and consent, in the spirit of Chris- tian meekness, to make me her guardian and director, and be a second wife to her daughter's husband. Surely this was asking much — offering an unheard-of and impossible position ! ' Second wife,' the terrible term, meant only, to Carlyle, a second being, who happened to be a woman, and who should, unquestioning, bend at all times to his imperious will. The word wife had, then, that one significance ! The proposition was an astounding one, and was probably never communicated to Mrs. Welsh, certainly not in these terms. Carlyle continues: — If she can, then I say she is a noble woman, and in the name of truth and affection let us all live together, and be one house- hold and one heart, till death or her own choice part us. If she cannot, which will anything but surprise me, then also, the other thing cannot be, must not be; and for her sake, no less than for yours and mine, we must think of something else. Carlyle, then, would not have been contented with one submissive woman, attending to every wish, and observing it as a law. If another woman be of the household, she must follow suit, and be called *a noble woman' as her reward. The matter was growing desperate. Miss Welsh, seeing the absolute impossibility of carrying out any plan which should include her mother, yielded the point and agreed to the other idea — to marry Carlyle and live at Scotsbrig. CHAPTER VIII A.D. 1826 Mrs. Welsh decides to further the marriage — Her decision to live with her father at Templand — The Carlyle parents see the impos- sibility of their son's bride living at Scotsbrig — A new home to be chosen — Impossible conditions — Blindness of Carlyle to the actual situation — Trying uncertainty— The idea of the home at Haddington as a residence for the newly-married pair — Painful objections — The idea abandoned — Recurring failure of plans — And a dissimilarity in ideas — The proposed cottage in Annandale. Mrs. Welsh, now in desperation, decided that the marriage should be celebrated without delay, and the long trying indecision brought to an end. She decided to live at Temp- land with her father, old Walter, and felt some comfort in the thought that here, at last, she would be within moderate dis- tance of Scotsbrig, and could see her dear only child as often as she wished. But alas ! new difficulties arose. Carlyle, as it would seem, had not gone through the necessary formality of con- sulting his own father and mother on the proposed plan. They were fully aware of what quite escaped his perception — namely, of the extreme unsuitability of the arrangement. They well knew that their household arrangements were not such as a young lady, brought up as Miss Welsh had been, could easily accommodate herself to. ' Even in summer,' they said, ' it would be difficult for her to live at Scotsbrig, and in winter impossible.' And indeed this remote and humble farmhouse was not attractive. Then, as to Mrs. Welsh coming occasionally, as she fondly hoped to do, on little visits to her daughter, it was universally n ^8 GIRLHOOD felt by the Carlyle family as a thing out of the question — too wild an idea to be entertained. So, brick by brick the castle in the air crumbled and was demolished before the bright eyes of Jane Welsh. You have misconceived (wrote Carlyle to her) the conditions of Scotsbrig, and your only possible means of existence there ! You talk of your mother visiting us! By day and night it would astonish her to see this household. Oh! no! Your mother must not visit mine! What good were it? By an utmost exertion on the part of both they might learn, perhaps, to toler- ate each other, more probably to pity, and partially dislike each other. . . The mere idea of such a visit argued too plainly that you k7iew 7iothmg of the family circle, in which, for my sake, you were ready to_take a place. In all this Carlyle spoke without real understanding or knowledge. These two mothers had two strong bonds of union — a loved son and a loved daughter. And there was a basis of understanding and sympathy. Their best interest was to get on well together, and when actually brought into personal contact they respected each other, met kindly, and parted with an increasing and mutual regard. Carlyle did not understand the heart of woman, he never could, so we must pass over his extraordinary blindness as to the feelings of these two mothers, one of whom he loved better than all on earth. Since, then, each plan was impossible, it was plainly necessary to look out for some alternative. What a time of trying uncertainty, almost of misery, must this have been to Jane Welsh, her heart torn with conflicting emotions incomprehensible to the man with whom she elected to spend the rest of her life ! It could not be expected that Mrs. Welsh, after her daughter should have married and left her, would bear to live on in Haddington. The associations, already so sad, were rendered still more painful by the fact that the social circle in which she moved had but one opinion as to the marriage Miss Welsh was about to make. It was not approved, but regarded as offering uncertain worldly AN UNLUCKY IDEA 7g prospects, without compensating advantages. It would have been difficult, perhaps, to find a man deserving, in their eyes, of the admired and beloved Jeannie Welsh. In any case, Carlyle did not fit their preconceived idea of such a man, and no doubt they expressed what they felt. Their pity would have been intolerable, and Mrs. Welsh was proud, and did not desire their sympathy. Naturally, therefore, her one course was to leave Haddington immediately and permanently. At this juncture it occurred to Carlyle that, in this case, the house at Haddington might do well for himself and his bride. There it was, comfortable, provided with all that was necessary, and with much more, in its sober elegance. And his mind turned away from the idea of Edinburgh — which was, after all, noisy and disagreeable — whilst Haddington was quiet, and already enriched with a thousand pleasant recollections. We might have supposed that the thought of Miss Welsh having to come there as a bride, and run the gauntlet of all her old friends known to regard her marriage as an entire mistake — to say nothing of the fact that, as her new home and yet her old home, there would be quite too many sad memories there to haunt her — we might surely have supposed that such considerations as these would at once have stamped the plan as impossible at the very outset. But a strange blindness seems to have possessed Carlyle. Those clear eyes which saw through the eternities, had limited vision in the little spot of earth on which he moved, and ears which were open to the great inarticulate cry of humanity, were unaccountably deaf, at times, to the distinct voice of pain in the utterance of the heart nearest his own. What, indeed, would have been the result of a settling in the old home at Haddington ? First of all, Carlyle would have cut off all intercourse with his wife's oldest friends, who would naturally have come constantly to see their dear companion, whom they loved so well, under the new auspices. * To me,' he calmly wrote, ' among the many weightier evils and blessings of existence, the evil of impertinent visitors So GIRLHOOD and so forth seems but a small drop of the bucket, and an exceedingly little thing. I have nerve in me to despatch that sort of deer, for ever, by dozens in the day.' No doubt he had, and the closed door would have shut out from the young wife all the old associations and friends of childhood. Miss Welsh promptly and plainly negatived the plan of their living at Haddington. Yet once more the castle built up by hopes and wishes, fell to the earth in confusion and ruin. Strange that neither of these two hesitated — strange that each was not dimly aware that this marriage- scheme was not smiled upon by the Fates — the powers human or divine ! The hardihood they displayed in rebuilding the still collapsing edifice is simply astounding. In any ordinary case the thing would have long since been laid aside as totally impracticable. One of the wisest of living women, illustrious as a writer, and the widow of one whose name is still fragrant amongst us, said once in our hearing : ' When you have made an attempt to carry out a reasonable plan, and find yourself unexpectedly foiled, it is well to try again, and even a third time ; but it is well to take the third failure as an indication that, whatever it is you have been trying to compass, had best not be; and, if it is to be, it will come in its own way, and at its own time.' But these remarkable people saw no omen in the con- tinually recurring failure of their plans. Carlyle dropped the Haddington plan; but not without plainly showing Miss Welsh that he was disappointed at her want of judgment. He was annoyed and surprised. The vacant home at Haddington (he said) occurred to my recollection as a sort of godsend, expressly suited to our purpose. It seemed so easy, and on other accounts so indispensable, to let it stand undisposed of for another year, that I doubted not a moment but the whole matter was arranged, If it turned out — which I reckon to be impossible, if you were not distracted in mind — that you really liked better to front the plashes and puddles, and the thousand inclemencies of Scotsbrig through THE STRONGER WILL 8 1 winter, rather than stay another six months in the house where you had lived all your days, it was the simplest process imagin- able to stay where we were. The loss was but of a few months' rent for your mother's house, and the certainty it gave us made it great gain. Even yet I cannot with the whole force of my vast intellect understand how my project has failed ! I wish not to undervalue your objections to the place, or your opinion on any subject whatever; but I confess my inability, with my present knowledge, to reconcile this very peremptory distaste with your usual good sense. It is to be feared that prompt acquiescence in any plan of his own, would have been regarded by Carlyle as < good sense ' in a woman. Now a new plan must be made, and an Annandale cottage was once more proposed, but again the two minds went off at tangents and could by no means go in the same direction. If this was trying before marriage, what must it have been when the interests were absolutely united^ or supposed to be so ? Only between two noble and pure natures could such a marriage have held its ground, as it did, through forty years of pure and blameless conduct; but what suffering, what rending of human cords of Will and of Self, must be involved, to one or other of the parties to such a union, possibly in some degree to both ! In one of Wendell Holmes's delight- ful books, the allegory is presented of a human soul as a musical-box, giving forth certain sweet melodies- Life turns the winch, and fancy or accident pulls out the stops. I come under your windows some fine spring morning, and play you one of my adagio movements, and some of you say, ' This is good. Play us so always. ..." ' How easily this tune flows! ' you say. ' Ah ! dear friends, I will open the poor machine for you, and you shall look. Every note marks where a spur of steel has been driven in ! It is easy to grind out the song, but to plant these bristling points was the painful task of time.' These words fit the case of Jane Welsh. Many a steel point was being planted during these days of uncertainty, and we hear the piercing melody in her later tones. 8 2 GIRLHOOD Carlyle could not understand Miss Welsh's distaste for his plans. I should have 200/. to begin with (he said); many an honest couple has begun with less. I know that wives are supported, some in peace and dignity, others in contention and disgrace, according to their wisdom or their folly, on all incomes, from 14/. a year to 200,000/., and I trusted in Jane Welsh, and still trust in her, for good sense enough to accommodate her wants to the means of the man she has chosen before all others, and to live with him contented on whatever it should please Provi- dence to allot him. Jane Welsh never failed any who trusted in her; she was loyal and faithful, but she had not parted with her reason. Carlyle, in the letter just quoted from, describes the cottage and income of a labourer — Wightman — whose earn- ings of fifteen pence a day provided all that was needed to constitute one of the happiest and most enviable families on earth. But, as Mr. Froude most wisely observes — If Carlyle had looked into the economics of the Wightman household, he would have seen that the wife made her own and her husband's and the child's clothes, swept and cleaned the house that was ' tidy as a cabinet,' washed the flannels and the linen, and weeded the garden when she required fresh air — that she worked, in fact, at severe bodily labour from sunrise to sunset. And how was the delicate and sensitive young lady to view any existence that bordered on such possibilities as these ? CHAPTER IX A. D. 1826 The home at Haddington broken up — Comely Bank furnished by Mrs. Welsh — Immediate difficulty over — Miss Welsh happier — Her pride in Carlyle's genius — Her estimate of him — The mar- riage at Templand — Natural cravings for the affection of Carlyle on the part of his bride-elect — Her unconventionality — State of mind as to the approaching ceremony — Miss Welsh prepares to put off her mourning for the occasion — The ' three cigars ' — Good resolutions — White gowns — A post-chaise to Comely Bank. The long-protracted affair was at length arranged. The home at Haddington was broken up. Mrs. Welsh took a house in Edinburgh — at Comely Bank — and took her daugh- ter with her, furnishing the new home with the contents of the Haddington house; and also undertaking to pay the rent. It was settled that she should remain with her daugh- ter till near the date of the marriage, which was fixed for October. At that time Mrs. Welsh would remove to Temp- land, and finally settle with her father, in whose house the marriage would be solemnised. At Comely Bank Mrs. Welsh would be able to visit her daughter occasionally, and there was Carlyle's 200/. for immediate expenses, with such additions to it as he might be able to earn. So things looked brighter, and the terribly long period of suspense was practically over. Miss Welsh was happier and took a cheerful view of her new home and surroundings. She wrote in June: — It is by no means everything that one could wish, but it is by much the most suitable that could be got, particularly in situa- tion, being withjn a few minutes' walk of the town, and at the 83 84 GIRLHOOD same time well out of its smoke and bustle. Indeed, it would be quite country-looking, only that it is one of a range; for there is a real flower-garden in front, overshadowed by a fair spread- ing tree, while the windows look out on the greenest fields, with never a street to be seen. As for interior accommodation, there are a dining-room, and a drawing-room, three sleeping- rooms, a kitchen, and more closets than I can see the least occasion for, unless you design to be another Blue Beard. So you see we shall have apartments enough, on a small scale — indeed, almost laughably small; but, if this is no objection in your eyes, neither is it any in mine. All was now in a fair way, and Carlyle was happy and deeply contented. The manifold dillficulties had been sur- mounted. He was to have his own ' four walls,' and, within them, the being whose companionship he most desired. He wrote from Scotsbrig in July of that same year, 1826, con- gratulating himself on the solving of the great problem, and the near prospect of his new happiness. Here are two swallows (he says) in the corner of my window that have taken a house (not at Comely Bank) this summer; and, in spite of drought and bad crops, are bringing up a family together with the highest contentment and unity of soul. Surely, surely, Jane Welsh and Thomas Carlyle, here as they stand, have in them conjointly the wisdom of many swallows ! Let them exercise it then, in God's name, and live happy, as these birds of passage are doing. As time went on perhaps Carlyle was dimly sensible of the loneliness of his home. * Her little bit of a first chair,' writes the old man in his desolation forty years later, ' its wee, wee arms, &c., visible to me in the closet at this moment, is still here, and always was. I have looked at it hundreds of times, from of old, with many thoughts. No daughter or son of hers was to sit there; so it had been ap- pointed us, my darling ! ' Meantime the summer flew swiftly by, and Miss Welsh formally announced the approaching event to her relations, describing her intended husband to Mrs. George Welsh, the A FAITHFUL PORTRAIT 85 wife of her youngest uncle. She had unusual opportunities of knowing Carlyle, since he had never disguised his real character, had made no delusive professions, had almost ag- gressively presented himself as he was ! There was, then, no blindness in Miss Welsh's estimate of him. He stood before her a good man, pure and stainless in life and honour, gifted with most magnificent mental powers. A faithful and affectionate brother, an admirable son — in all private relations blamelessly innocent. He had splendid talents, which he rather felt than understood; only he was determined, in the same high spirit of duty which had governed his personal conduct, to use them well . . . never, never to sell his soul by travelling the primrose path to wealth and distinction. If honour came to him, it was to come]]unsought. We quote Mr. Froude's words, the biographer to whom it would have been so easy to turn out from these facts a perfectly conventionalised and satisfactory portrait of Carlyle. With every line smoothed, every wrinkle filled up and every wilfulness ignored, such a portrait, could Mr. Froude have sacrificed his own integrity to produce it, would probably have called forth from some other quarter an exaggerated presentation of every flaw and every deficiency, and shown us a monster, who would indeed have borne scant resemblance to the great man whose inner life was so pure, and whose reputation, take him for all in all, would emerge so triumphantly from the innermost, most remorseless inspection. The letter which the bride-elect sent in September, de- scribing her intended husband to her aunt, came into his hands after her death in 1866. What thoughts must have risen in him while he read ! ' It came to him,' he said, 'as a flash of radiance from above.' We give a brief extract: — As much breath has been wasted on my situation, I have my own doubts whether they have given you any right idea of it. They would tell you, I suppose, first and foremost, that my in- tended \s poor (for that, it requires no great depth of sagacity to discover); and, in the next place, most likely indulged in some 86 GIRLHOOD criticisms scarce flattering on his birth, the more likely if their own birth happened to be mean or doubtful; and, if they hap- pened to be vulgar fine people, with disputed pretensions to good looks, they would, to a certainty, set him down as unpolished and ill-looking. But a hundred chances to one they would not tell you he is among the cleverest men of his day — and not the cleverest only, but the most enlightened; that he possesses all the qualities I deem essential in my husband — a warm true heart to love me, a towering intellect to command me, and a spirit of fire to be the guiding star of my life. . . . Such, then, is this future husband of mine — not a great man according to the most common sense of the word, but truly great, in its natural proper sense — a scholar, a poet, a philosopher, a wise and noble man, one who holds his patent of nobility from almighty God, and whose high stature of manhood is not to be measured by the inch-rule of Lilliputs! Will you like him? No matter whether you do or not, since I like him in the deepest part of my soul. There is no mistaking the genuine ring of these glowing and sincere words. We must always remember that, though in one sense Miss Welsh belonged tea superior class, and was accustomed to refinement and elegance of which the Carlyle family never dreamed, she yet received a certain promotion in marrying Thomas Carlyle, since his literary powers opened to her a far higher sphere of society than she could have entered as the wife of a man in such a position as her father had occupied — higher indeed than could easily have fallen to her lot through the acceptance of any suitor she had, or was likely to have had. And though her grace and brilliant gifts made her an addition to the best society, it must be doubted whether, save as Mrs. Carlyle, she would have had the opportunity of meeting constantly with the most intellectual and cultivated people in London. The difificulties and prolonged suspense attending the carrying out of this marriage naturally took much of the bloom off its near contemplation. Everything had been dwelt DISILLUSION 87 on too long and too minutely, the reason had usurped the place of the heart, and hard, worldly facts had given a jaded aspect to Love's rosy wings. There was no beautiful haze of joy, and thrill of newness in the air. It seemed a worn- out story before it ever happened. We cannot tell how the beautiful Jane Welsh felt as the time approached. Carlyle had nervous misgivings, felt that he was ' a perverse mortal to deal with,' and was manifestly depressed. The betrothed pair felt it to be almost intolerable to have their names proclaimed in their respective churches, as custom in Scotland demanded. The marriage was to take place quietly at Templand, where Mrs. Welsh now lived with her father, and the newly-married pair were to go the same day to their new home at Comely Bank. Miss Welsh was cheerful and brave — I am resolved in spirit (she said) and even joyful— joyful in the face of the dreaded ceremony, of starvation, and of every horrible fate. Oh! my dearest friend, be always so good to me, and I shall make the best and happiest wife. When I read in your looks and words that you love me, then I care not one straw for the whole universe besides. But when you fly from me to smoke tobacco, or speak of me as a mere circumstance of your lot, then, indeed, my heart is troubled about many things. Prophetic words these. That the bright eager woman did come to be at times a mere circumstance in his lot was what Carlyle never knew until it was too late — never could realise until it was brought home to him in unmistakable language, when he read letters, never meant for his eye, in which the lonely woman had revealed to others something of what her life was. But in these early days it could only have been a passing cloud in her thoughts, for she loved him and craved to be loved by him— craved for it to the very end. She, as well as Carlyle, had a strong disposition and fiery temper. When provoked, she showed a thoroughly unamiable side of her nature— inflexible she was— and her words cut 88 GIRLHOOD like knives. Another element in her blood, pointed out by Dr. Japp, does much, in his idea (and I agree with him), to account for many traits in her character. It has been some- what overlooked, though told with some pride^by Mrs. Carlyle in speaking of her own ancestry, that she had a decided strain of gipsy blood. That famous gipsy chieftain, Matthew Baillie, who could steal a horse from under the owner if he liked, was yet said to be a thorough gentleman in his way. These inherited tendencies cling on in a remarkable way, and the^ daring spirit of Jane Baillie Welsh was not unworthy of her adventurous ancestor. The mystery of heredity is one that has scarcely been touched, and I entirely endorse Dr. Japp's remarks when he says, * If Jane Welsh derived from her father her serious thought, prudent decision, and settled affection for place and person . . . she as certainly derived from her mother's side a touch of waywardness, a sudden variability of mood, a half-wild originality, a love of primitive life, and a craving for the relief of fun and free- dom and banter. ' One of her oldest friends now surviving has spoken of her innate " trickiness," which showed itself in many brilliant sallies; and there is no doubt that the fetters of conventionality weighed heavily at times on her bright spirit — more heavily when the spirit was no longer bright.' She knew her own failings, and, at this momentous time, made many good resolutions. I am really going to be a very meek-tempered wife! (she wrote to Carlyle). Indeed, I am begun to be meek-tempered already! My aunt tells me she could live for ever with me without quar- relling, I am so reasonable and so equable in my humour. There is something to gladden your heart withal ! . . . Do you perceive, my good sir, the fault will be wholly your own if we do not get on most harmoniously together. She evidently presaged storms. It is amusing, it would be more amusing if it were less pathetic, to find these two people striving to encourage each other, as if on the scaffold. The wedding took place on October 17, On October 10 OMINOUS EXPRESSIONS 89 Miss Welsh had written from Templand to Carlyle — 'You desired me to answer your letter on Thursday, but I have waited another post that I might do it better, if indeed any good thing is to be said under such horrid circumstances. ' It must have been Carlyle himself who had caused Miss Welsh to regard the wedding preparations as ' horrid cir- cumstances.' No girl would so have regarded them, unless the thought were forced upon her. It is generally felt as a joyful and beautiful time, and a loving word and assur- ance from Carlyle would have made all the difference. But if he so seriously deplored it, what could Miss Welsh do but follow suit? Oh, do (she continues), for Heaven's sake, get into a more benignant humour! or the incident will not only ' wear a very original aspect,' but likewise a very heart-breaking one! I see not how I am to go through with it. . . . I expected to know last night, when my mother is to come from Edinburgh, in which case I should have been able to name some day, though not so early a one as that proposed; but, alas! alas! my mother is dilatory and uncertain as ever, and the only satisfaction I can give you at this time is to promise I will soon write again. What has taken her to Edinburgh so inoppor- tunely ? — to set some fractions of women cutting out white gowns, a thing which might have been done with all convenience when we were there last month. But some people are wise, and some are otherwise, and I shall be glad to get the gowns anyway, for I should like ill to put you to charge in that article, for a very great while. Besides, you know it would be a bad omen to marry in mourning. When I first put it on, six years ago, I thought to wear it for ever; but I have found a second father, and it were ungrateful not to show, even externally, how much I rejoice in him. These are strange expressions. We see that she had meant to wear perpetual black for that dearly loved father whom she had lost; but resolved to put it off, having now found 'a second father' in Thomas Carlyle. Few lovers would appreciate the title, however much they might like to see their brides in white, instead of mourning, garments. 90 GIRLHOOD Carlyle had evidently proposed to take the wedding journey in the coach from Dumfries — less perhaps from economy than from a general sense of protection; with the same idea he had wished his brother John to go part of the way with him and his bride. But a lady's wish at these times is law, and Miss Welsh absolutely declined the coach journey. She also adds, ' For the same reason I prohibit John from going with us an inch of the road; and he must not think there is any unkindness in this. I hope your mother is praying for me. Give her my affectionate regards. Jane Welsh.' Carlyle, who had been striving to fortify himself against what Miss Welsh called 'the odious ceremony,' by reading Kant's ' Critique of Pure Reason,' had turned in despair to Scott's novels, which cheered him somewhat. After all (he wrote), I believe we take this impending ceremony too much to heart! Bless me! have not many people been married before now? . . . To your arrangements about the journey, and the other items of the how and when, I can only answer as becomes me. Be it as thou hast said ! Let me know your will and it shall be my pleasure ! And so, by the blessing of Heaven, we shall roll along side by side with the speed of post-horses, till we arrive at Comely Bank. I shall only stipulate that you will let me, by the road, as occasion serves, smoke three cigars, without criticism or reluctance, as things essential to my perfect contentment. Yet if you object to this article, think not that I will break off the match on that account, but rather, like a dutiful husband, submit to the everlasting ordinance of providence, and let my wife have her way. You are very kind, and more just than I have reason to expect, in imputing my ill-natured speeches (for which Heaven forgive me!) to their true cause — a disordered nervous system. Believe me, Jane, it is not I, but the Devil speaking out of me, which could utter one harsh word to a heart that so little deserves it. Oh! I were blind and wretched if I could make thee unhappy! Strange words for an expectant bridegroom! uttered at that time in the history of betrothed pairs when, as a rule, EARNEST ASPIRA TIONS g I every word is a caress; and, to quote from * Sartor,' one might expect that the 'world lay all harmonious before them, like some fair royal champaign the sovereign and owner of which were Love alone! ' Here it. was not a// harmony, though there was sincere affection. As to the proclamation (he says), I protest I had rather be proclaimed in every church in the empire than miss the little bird I have in my eye, whom I see not how I am to do without. . . . (and, in conclusion, he says) Oh! we are two ungrateful wretches, or we should be happy. Write soon, and love me for ever; and so, good-night, mein Herzenskind. Thine, anf ewtg, T. Carlyle. The white gowns were made; the gloves were purchased; and the long, remarkable, and altogether unique preliminaries ended on October 17, 1826. Highly characteristic is the heading of Miss Welsh's final letter to Carlyle: ' The last speech and marrying words of that unfortunate young woman., Jane Baillie Welsh. ^ ' Truly,' answered Carlyle, * a most delightful and swan- like melody is in them; a tenderness and warm devoted trust worthy of such a maiden, bidding farewell to that unmarried earth of which she was the fairest ornament. Let us pray to God that our holy purpose is not frustrated. Let us trust in Him, and in each other, and fear no evil that can befall us.' The quiet little ceremony being over, the minister and John Carlyle being the only persons present, except the bride's family and the 'high contracting parties,' Mr. and Mrs. Car- lyle started in a post-chaise for Comely Bank. Whether the three cigars were found necessary to render the situation tolerable to the bridegroom is nowhere recorded. The deed was done. It would-be idle to speculate on the possibilities of fuller happiness for either of these truly exceptional natures, if married otherwise, to two other persons, less remarkable, and differently constituted. No romantic happiness was 9^ GIRLHOOD looked for by either of them. Thomas Carlyle was possessed of a feverish soul that struggled perpetually with minor prob- lems — he had to wrestle with the demon within himself — as well as with dyspepsia and nervous irritability. These things could not be banished by the presence of the charming woman whose bright eyes now lighted up his new home. A little less intellect, a little more mere human lovingness, would have made things easier. But we are not to dwell upon the ' might have been.' The dainty, graceful girl, with something of Ariel, something of Puck in her nature, was now face to face with her difficult task, brave in her determination to make her husband's way smooth for him, to offer up the full service of a faithful devo- tion. She thought, no doubt, as women do think, that love would make the way plain. It certainly shewed the path — from which she never flinched — but the way was ever beset with thorns. She did not fear poverty — if she were rich in love; but what constituted that most precious treasure was imperfectly understood by Carlyle. And in all marriage the human element must ever be important, it cannot be over- looked. It is still there when the white-haired venerable pair sit on either side of the hearth, watching their greatgrandchild playing on the rug; or, if no such link carries them forward, it is still there when they recall golden days of youth, and the flush tints their faded cheeks, as they recount some fragments of the tale of their springtime, of no meaning to any one but themselves. There would be no such tender memories to turn to in this case; but a correspondence, like a great legal case, a terrible dragging out of calculations and ponderings, a desperate resolve to take the final step, and many misgivings on both sides. There was, on each side, a power of severe speech, a clear insight into imperfections, hostile to perfect happiness. Then, again, there was much in common — keen intellectual sympathy, a certain likeness in views of life and its aims, a stern integrity and uprightness of character, a degree of con- A DOUBTFUL PROSPECT 93 tempt for the world's opinion. Valuable as a superstructure, provided the foundation were of the firmest, the most deeply laid, the true foundation of all lasting human ties — Love ! And here and now ended Jane Welsh's girlhood. '1 k PART II EARLY MARRIED LIFE CHAPTER X A. D. 1826 Comely Bank — Good resolutions — Social opportunities — A wifely letter — Narrow income — Visit of Dr. John Carlyle — The daily life — The little ' Wednesday evenings ' — Friendship with Jeffrey — Brighter prospects — Household activities on Mrs. Carlyle's part — Renewed ideas of living at ' Craigenputtock ' — Its unsuitability to Mrs. Carlyle's needs — Carlyle visits it with his brother Alick — The tenant about to leave — Letter from Mrs. Carlyle — Loving response. The home in which Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle began their new life was, according to Carlyle's own account to his mother, 'a perfect model, furnished with every accommodation that heart could desire.' The house was in Comely Bank, a row of houses to the north of Edinburgh; it then stood among open fields between the city and the sea. It had been beautifully fitted up by Mrs. Welsh, and must have offered every 'possibility that a mere "house can offer for perfect happiness ! Mrs. Welsh was at this time settled at Templand with her father and her youngest sister, now a woman of about thirty, the ' Aunt Jeannie ' of whom Carlyle speaks so tenderly in the * Reminiscences ' — the fair-haired gentle victim of that early love-tragedy which, as Carlyle said, 'closed her poor heart against hopes of that kind at an early period of her life.' Mrs. Carlyle was not anxious about her mother, to whom Haddington had become hateful, and who had a home 95 96 EARLY MARRIED LIFE with old Walter, and loving surroundings. She had done what she could to secure her mother's comfort, and now she turned her undivided loyal energy to the more difficult task of making Carlyle's life happy and peaceful. It is difficult for people to realise that they inevitably bring the deep essentials of their happiness or unhappiness with them into whatever atmosphere they are transplanted. It is a trite saying that we can change the sky above us, but are apt to retain the spirit with which we regard it. So, although Carlyle had won his treasure, he was still himself — still tormented by the spirit within him, which did not come out of him under the beam of his wife's bright eyes. He says to his mother: — For my wife, I may say in my heart that she is better than any wife, and loves me with a devotedness which it is a mystery to me how I have ever deserved. She is gay and happy as a lark, and looks with such soft cheerfulness into my gloomy countenance, that new hope passed into me every time I met her eye. In truth I was very sullen yesterday, sick with sleep- lessness, nervous, bilious, splenetic, and all the rest of it. The 'rest of it' was, we fear, a very irritable disposition, which showed itself evefn in those days of rosy hope. Still, Carlyle vaguely hoped to be happier. He speaks of believing he shall get '• hefted to his new situation.' He wished his brother John to come and join him in his ' solitary wanderings by the sad autumnal sea.' But he was making good resolutions, and not forgetting the tender wish to please his old mother. ' Tell my mother,' he writes to John Carlyle, ' that by Jane's express request I am to read a ser- mon, and a chapter with commentary, at least every Sabbath day, to my household. Also that we are taking seats in church, and design to live soberly and devoutly, as be- seems us.' Comely Bank enabled the Carlyles to have some society, and it must have been a pretty sight when the dainty, gifted young wife entertained, in her own house, some of the choice HAPPY HOURS 97 spirits of Edinburgh, and was herself the hght and the charm of the modest entertainments so rich in wit and intellectual surrounding. No invitation to Comely Bank was refused. These little tea-parties were an earnest of those held in later days in Cheyne Row — those never-to-be-forgotten evenings of which we have heard from those few now surviving who were privileged to attend them. Brewster (afterwards Sir David Brewster), De Quincey,* Sir William Hamilton, and many others were among the guests at Comely Bank. If Carlyle at this time had been engaged in some congenial and remunerative employment the little home would have been brighter. Mrs. Carlyle wrote to her mother-in-law on December 9, 1826: — My dear Mother, — I must not let the letter go without adding my ' Be of good cheer ! ' You would rejoice to see how much better my husband is since we came hither. And we are really very happy. When he falls on some work we shall be still happier. Indeed I should be very stupid or very thankless if 1 did not congratulate myself every hour of the day on the lot which it has pleased Providence to assign me. My husband is so kind, so in all respects after my own heart. I was sick one day, and he nursed me as well as my own mother could have done; and he never says a hard word to me unless I richly deserve it. We see great numbers of people, but are always most content alone. My husband reads then, and I read or work, or just sit and look at him, which I really find as profit- able an employment as any other. God bless you and my little Jean, whom I hope to see at no very distant date. This is a pretty and wifely letter. But money was not abundant, and work — which was almost more essential to Carlyle's well-being — kept aloof. Writing to his mother in January 1827, Carlyle mentions that Mrs. Welsh had sent sixty pounds in a letter. This was promptly returned, though the gift was felt to be both kind and handsome. The * See Appendix IV. 98 ' EARL V MARRIED LIFE good mother at Scotsbrig sent eggs from the farm and other home produce, and Mrs. Carlyle could turn her hand to the making of a dainty custard, pancakes, and the like. John Carlyle came early in that first year to stay with the pair at Comely Bank, and in February Carlyle reports of the home-life very graphically to his brother Alexander, Last week (he writes) I fairly began a book. Heaven only knows what it will turn to. . . . You would wonder how much happier steady occupation makes us, and how smoothly we all get along. Directly after breakfast the good wife and the doc- tor (John Carlyle) retire upstairs to the drawing-room, a little place all fitted up like a lady's work-box, where a spark of fire is lit for the forenoon; and I meanwhile sit scribbling and medi- tating, and wrestling with the powers of dullness till one or two o'clock, when I sally forth into the city or towards the seashore, taking care only to be at home for the important purpose of consuming my mutton chop at four. Carlyle, then, in these early days did not as a rule spend any time with his wife between breakfast time and 4 p. m. 'After dinner,' he adds, ' we all read learned languages till coffee, and so on till bedtime.' Carlyle speaks of the possibilities as to society, and of the limited degree to which they were utilised. 'Jane,' he says, ' has a circular, or rather two circulars — one for those she values, and one for those she does not value; and one or other of these she sends.' These were the replies to dinner- invitations. Thus no dinners were given or accepted. 'Only, to some three or four chosen people we give notice that on Wednesday nights we shall ahvays be at home, and glad if they will call and talk for two hours with no other entertain- ment but a cordial welcome, and a cup of innocent tea.' The entertainment was truly a royal one — and was always felt to be so — by virtue of a banquet fit for the gods. In this letter Carlyle mentions having in his pocket 'a IMTROVED PROSPECTS 99 letter of introduction to Jeffrey of the *' Edinburgh Review." ' ' It was sent me,' he says, ' from Proctor of London.' That letter was the opening of a long and interesting friendship, which was most close and warm between Lord Jeffrey and Mrs. Carlyle, whom he came to regard with a chivalrous tenderness in which almost every man who knew her must have shared. Carlyle speaks in the * Reminiscences ' of striding off, with Proctor's introduction, one evening to George Square, where he had his first interview with Jeffrey, with whose personal appearance he had been familiar some four- teen years. The interview was a successful one, resulting not only in a return of the visit, but in much literary work for Carlyle in the shape of articles for the reviews, greatly to Mrs. Carlyle's delight and pride; for she admired her husband with all her heart, and, later on, in the sad days of her broken health and joyless conditions, was often heard to wind up one of her depressing accounts of him with — ' But then, you know, he is so clever ! ' A letter from Mrs. Car/y/e to her mother-in-law, dated ' 21 Comely Bank, February 17, 1827,' gives some touching details of the life there. Speaking of the book Carlyle was engaged on — a novel, which was never finished — the young wife writes: — More contented he certainly is since he applied himself to this task, for he was not born to be anything but miserable in idleness. Oh ! that he were indeed well — well beside me, and oc- cupied as he ought. How plain and clear life would then lie before us! . . . Within doors all is warm, is swept and garnished, and without, the country is no longer winter-like, but beginning to be gay and green. Many pleasant people come to see us. . . . Alone we are never weary. If I have not Jean's enviable gift of talking, I am at least among the best listeners in the king- dom, and my husband has always something interesting and in- structive to say. Then we have books to read — all sorts of them, from Scott's Bible down to novels ; and I have sewing-needles, and purse-needles, and all conceivable implements for ladies' work. There is a piano, too, for ' soothing the savage breast,' lOO EARLY MARRIED LIFE when one cares for its charms; but I am sorry to say neither my playing nor my singing seems to give Mr. C. much delight. I console myself, however, with imputing the blame to his want of taste, rather than my want of skill. ... It is my husband's worst fault to me that I will not, or cannot, speak. Often when he has talked for an hour without answer, he will beg for some signs of life on my part, and the only sign I can give is a little kiss. ... Mrs. Carlyle's occupations at Comely Bank were by no means comprised in the small accomplishments she enumerates in this letter. Dainty in all her ways, the presence of one servant did not suffice to keep all things in the spotless order which she loved, without many little offices on her part, and her hand helped to give her dyspeptic husband a more deli- cate diet than an ordinary maid-of-all-work could provide. Her bright spirit and comparatively good health doubtless added a charm to these domesticities, and we can quite fancy her locking the kitchen door on herself, to essay her first pudding, which was to be something quite out of the common. Had but Fortune smiled more kindly on these two people, and given them a comfortable income ! But it was not so. Finances were ebbing — not fast, but surely — and the prospect was a dark one. It was natural, perhaps, that Carlyle's mind should revert at this time to his old scheme of living at Craigenputtock. His brother Alexander could farm it, and it would be a quiet, healthy, and cheap residence. Perhaps it was to some extent natural that he should forget to pause and consider whether this wild * hill of the hawk ' would be a fitting home for the fluttering dove that he had taken into his care. Perhaps he had become so entirely ' hefted to his new situation * that it seemed a matter of course. They twain being one, what was good for him must be good for her. Perhaps he thought — but it is less likely — ' she will have me.' But a wilderness (and it was little better) needs very pro- nounced conditions of bliss before it will consent to 'rejoice and blossom as the rose.' She had told him she could not live COURAGE AND TENDERNESS 101 a month at Craigenputtock ' with an angel ; ' but her faith and courage were to be put to a strong test. Writing of it afterwards, Carlyle said : ' To her it was a great sacrifice, if to me it was the reverse; but at no moment, even by a look, did she ever say so.' Brave Jane Welsh Carlyle ! But Carlyle adds with great simplicity, ' Indeed I think she never felt so at all.' One attraction this wild place presented: it was within fifteen miles of Templand, where Mrs. Welsh now lived; and the moment for the change seemed propitious, for the tenant of Craigenputtock was about to leave, and Mrs. Welsh anxiously desired to have the Carlyles there, and generously undertook much of the expense connected with the change. In April, Carlyle, with his brother Alick, went on a visit of inspection, while Mrs Welsh joined her daughter at Comely Bank. The matter was quickly arranged, and the tenant was to leave almost immediately, Carlyle to follow his brother to Craigenputtock as soon after Whitsuntide as all was in order. We must give a few sentences from the charming letter Mrs, Carlyle wrote to her husband during this, his first absence from her. The six-months wife begins with * Dear, Dear, (Cheap! Cheap!)' — This being a little fun between them as Mr. Froude tells us, in a note, how * Cheap ! Cheap ! ' had evidently been an answer which Carlyle had made to some endearment of hers : — I met the postman yesterday morning, and something bade me ask if there were any letters. Imagine my agitation when he gave me yours, four and twenty hours before the appointed time. I was so glad, and so frightened, so eager to know the whole contents, that I could hardly make out any part. ... I did at length, with much heart-beating, get through the precious paper, and found that you still loved me pretty well, and that the Craig o' Putta was still a hope; as also that, if you come not back to poor ' Goody ' on Saturday, it will not be for want of will. Ah ! nor yet will it be for the want of the most fervent 102 EARLY MA RRIED LIFE prayers to Heaven that a longing Goody can put up ; for I am sick — sick to the heart — of this absence, which indeed I can only bear in the faith of its being brief. , . My head has ached more continuously than any time these six months. But health and spirits will come back when my husband comes back with good news — or rather, when he comes back at all, whether his news be good or bad. . . . To be separated from you one week is frightful as a foretaste of what it might be; but I will not think of that, if I can help it ; and, after all, why should I think of life without you? Plainly, she thought of her father, of the wrench that death had made when she lost him. It would be idle to say Mrs, Carlyle did not love her husband — ay, to the end the love was not killed, and it would, it j?nght, have ^blossomed forth in the last years, had time been granted. The letter goes on : 'Is not my being interwoven with yours so close that it can have no separate existence ? . . . But you will be calling this " French sentimentality," I fear; and even the style of mockery is better than that. . .' Later in life Carlyle heard much of this latter style, but it was the fruit of bitterness and suffering, and did not rise to the heart of the young wife in these early, untried days. This letter contains a curious little touch of that ' tricki- ness ' which was characteristic of Mrs. Carlyle. Speaking of visitors who had called at Comely Bank during Carlyle's absence, she mentions several names ; then an evening's en- gagement to the house of a Mrs. Bruce. Being disinclined to go, she evaded it with great adroitness. ' I wrapped a piece of flannel about my throat, and made my mother carry an apology of cold. ^ The italics are our own. To this letter came a loving and worthy reply, ending with : — Oh Jeannie ! Oh my wife ! we will never part — never through eternity itself; but I will love thee, and keep thee in my heart of hearts ! — that is, unless I grow a very great fool — which, in- deed, this talk doth somewhat betoken. God bless thee ! Ever thine, T. Carlyle. CHAPTER XI A.D. 1827 Alexander Carlyle and his sister Mary go to live at Craigenputtock — The visit of the Carlyles to Templand, Scotsbrig, &c. — Prospect of some professorship for Carlyle — Disappointment — Decision for Craigenputtock — A. sacrifice — Bleak and barren situation of the new home — Jeffrey's disapproval of the plan — Mrs. Carlyle's courage — House-moving — Carlyle's despair — Correspondence of Mrs. Carlyle with her old friend, Miss Eliza Stodart — Ideals of married life relinquished — Carlyle's frequent depression and ab- sorption in his work — The wife's isolation. In the summer of 1827, Alexander Carlyle and his sister Mary entered into occupation of Craigenputtock, as had been arranged; but the Carlyles were loth to leave Edinburgh quite so soon as they had at first intended. For the prospect was somewhat brighter for Carlyle. Jeffrey could appreciate his uncommon powers, and an admission into the ' Edinburgh Review ' gave him congenial work, and hope therewith of yet wider scope of literary prosperity. There was not quite the same sympathy between Carlyle and Jeffrey as existed between Mrs. Carlyle and the * clever little gentleman;' but the introduction was a memorable event in many ways. The literary work now offered to Carlyle kept him in Edinburgh. But during the summer he and his wife spent a short holiday with the family at Scotsbrig, a few days at Templand, and took a look at the ' Hill of the Hawk.' In August they were again settled in Comely Bank. It was at this time that Carlyle began to look forward to the possibility of some permanent and honourable appoint- ment — some professorship, maybe — that should be a literary 103 I04 EARLY MARRIED LIFE haven to him. He consulted Edward Irving as to some opening in the London University, and comments on his reply- in a letter to his brother John in September. Irving, he said, had written ' in a strange, austere, puritanical, yet on the whole, honest and friendly-looking style. He advises me to proceed and make the attempt.' The plan never came to fruition. The Carlyles dined with the Jeffreys to talk the chances over. If the plan succeeded, it would at least do away with the necessity for living on the wild, bleak moors, which must have been depressing to contemplate. But the appointment was given to someone else. Other hopes, including one of a professorship in St. Andrews University, also failed, and the idea of living at Craigenputtock returned with renewed insistence, and finally shaped itself into a definite intention. The house was placed under repair, and with the early spring these remark- able people were to leave the world — as represented by the social refinement and attractions of Edinburgh — and bury themselves in the wild Dunscore moors, at a farm sixteen miles from the nearest town and the nearest doctor, in a spot where, "^through long months, winter would hold his iron reign, and almost cut off access to the outer cheerfulness of life. With a giant's stock of strength, with a help-mate strong also, and gentle and responsive, with a great share of the sweet double life which marriage sometimes brings, there is no doubt that a happy, though not a luxurious, existence might have been realised at Craigenputtock by Mrs. Carlyle. But these conditions were imperfectly fulfilled. No giant's strength was hers. Never robust, she had al- ready shown absolute delicacy of health; and her help-mate was dyspeptic, restless, troubled with sleeplessness, nervous, and possessed by some inner struggle which often made his own days hard to endure, and left him little power to make a woman's life attractive and harmonious. The house at Comely Bank was held only by the year. They must now decide whether it should be taken for another FORCED RETREAT TO THE 'DESERT' 105 twelve months, and they determined to see Craigenputtock once more together, before taking a final step. The impres- sion made on their minds cannot have been very attractive. March is a bleak month in the North, and there may have been misgivings in the minds of both husband and wife as to the severing of themselves from all the warmth and pleasant- ness of their pretty home in Edinburgh. But the decision was taken out of their hands in a manner, for, on their return from this visit, they found their landlord had actually let the house at Comely Bank to another tenant, so that at Whitsuntide they must certainly leave it, and so the question settled itself rather unexpectedly, and immediate steps were taken to render the Craig o' Putta comfortable and habitable. Carlyle wrote to his brother: 'I anticipate, with confidence, a friendly and rather comfortable arrangement at the Craig, in which, not in idleness, yet in peace, and more self-selected occupations, I may find more health, and, what I reckon weightier, more scope to improve and worthily employ myself, which either here or there I reckon to be the great end of existence and the only happi- ness.' There may be other forms of happiness known to other human beings, but it would be idle to dwell on the point. Whether this ideal of happiness included and insured the happiness of that other human being so closely linked with his life, is a question to which the answer will not tarry long. Mr. Froude's description of Craigenputtock gives a vivid idea of it: — .... The dreariest spot in all the British dominions. The nearest cottage is more than a mile from it; the elevation, 700 feet above the sea, stunts the trees, and limits the garden produce to the hardiest vegetables. The house is gaunt and hungry-looking. It stands, with the scanty fields attached, as an island in a sea of morass. The landscape is unredeemed either by grace or grandeur, — mere undulating hills of grass and heather, with peat bogs in the hollows between them. An ungentle home for the delicate woman. I06 EARLY MARRIED J.IFK Carlyle, in a letter to Goethe, describes it in much the same terms, as being. Among the granite hills and the bleak morasses which stretch westward through Galloway almost to the Irish Sea, . . . The roses, indeed, are still in part to be planted. . . . Two ponies, which carry us everywhere, and the mountain air, are the best medicine for weak nerves. . . . I came thither solely with the de- sign to simplify my way of life, and to secure the independence through which I could be enabled to remain true to myself. There must have been some sinking of Mrs. Carlyle's daunt- less spirit at the prospect of this rem.ote and lonely existence. Some such feelings on her part were evident to some of her friends. The kind-hearted Jeffrey felt really alarmed, but trusted that the experience of life in the wilderness would bring about a prompt return to the amenities of Edinburgh. Whether this attached and considerate friend foresaw any- thing of the disastrous consequences of the step, we do not know; but, finding it inevitable, he did all he could to make it easy for Mrs. Carlyle, inviting her with her husband to visit him in Moray Place, while the carts conveyed the Lares and Penates of Comely Bank into the wilds of the Dunscore moors. This change of residence was a turning-point in Mrs. Carlyle's life. Before going further, we will cite a charming passage from one of Prof. Masson's articles in * Macmillan,' December 1881. It calls to mind the words often quoted by Mrs. Carlyle in later life — And my youth was left behind For someone else to find. An old Haddington nurse, speaking to Prof. Masson of Mrs. Carlyle before her marriage, said: Ah! when she was young, she was a fleein', dancin', light- heartit thing, Jeanie Welsh, that naething would hae dauntit. But she grew grave a' at ance. There was Maister Irving, ye ken, that had been her teacher; and he cam aboot her. Then there was Maister (this name, possibly that of Irving's successor THE FLITTING I07 in the Haddington School, is not given). Then there was Maister Carlyle himsel'; and he cam to finish her off like. . . . This bright creature was not yet * dauntit,' but bravely, cheerfully set to her new task, for already it became some- thing of a task to fulfil all that the conditions demanded. The actual day came for the married pair to enter their new home. That the cottage where Alexander Carlyle was to live was attached to the premises, was a comfort to Carlyle, and, as Mr. Froude tells us, * the outdoor establishment of field, stall, and dairy servants was common to both households.' House-moving is never pleasant. Even the completeness of modern arrangements fails to redeem it from the reproach of intense discomfort attaching to it. But this must have been quite a unique * flitting.' Carlyle's despair, as witnessed by his letter to his brother John, written a week or two after the arrival at Craigenputtock, is tragic and yet amusing. He speaks of the * chaotic uproar ' of dismantling the modest house at Comely Bank, and adds: 'From all packers and carpenters and flitting by night or day, Good Lord deliver us ! ' We may be sure that the clear-headed lady at the head of affairs would reduce chaos into cosmos at the earliest pos- sible date, and in due time the Carlyles settled in the intense solitude of their new home. They had entered it about the last week in May, before the year wears its real spring smile in these northern districts. The ' cares of bread ' soon made themselves felt. On July 29 we find Mrs. Carlyle appealing once more to her 'dear, dear angel Bessy!' with a request that she would order for her, tea, coffee, sugar, &c., in Edinburgh, to be sent by carrier to Craigenputtock; all her groceries, she says, are done, and without a fresh supply she fears ' her husband would soon be done also.' In this letter she addresses Miss Stodart as ' thou arch- angel Bessy,' and wrote cheerfully enough. ' Dear Edin- burgh ! ' she says, ' I was very happy there, and shall always love it, and hope to see it again often before I die.' The Io8 :EARLY MARRIED LIFE servant, Grace Macdonald, is spoken of as excellent, and even in such desolate surroundings there was no absolute barrier to a very happy life. Here and now, however, we feel as if Mrs. Carlyle silently relinquished her ideal of married life, or at least of life with Carlyle. As in his wooing there had ever been more of the intellectual sympathy than of the passion of a lover, and as Mrs. Carlyle, who knew how a man loves, was well able to discern the tone of the attachment offered to her, it had never been expected by her that this sternly-absorbed, spirit-tormented man would be content to lie at her feet on the heather at Craigenputtock and look into her eyes for his inspirations. What she probably did expect, was — what the union naturally seemed to promise — a close intellectual com- panionship. She would fain have set her little foot on each round of the ladder beside his, and gone with him in his spirit - flights; but here the fulfilment seemed strikingly imperfect. Carlyle, often depressed or irritable from ill health and mental absorption, needed much solitude. His nervous wake- fulness necessitated his sleeping in a room alone, as the least sound drove sleep from him. He could not write to any purpose unless he were alone, and, as time went on, would even eat his dinner alone. So that his wife often saw only the lurid reflection, as it were, of what had been passing in his mind, without the interest of sharing his thoughts. In the days at Comely Bank she speaks of sometimes just sitting and looking at him; but she soon found, perhaps, that it was best to leave him to forge his thunderbolts alone, with no spectator of the fierce war of elements in his distracted mind. The marriage certainly presented some features of what the French call a solitude a deux. Doubtless the heavier share of that solitude fell on Mrs. Carlyle; but Carlyle often expressed in his journals, &c., a loneliness and isolation that ISOLA TION 109 could be felt — a separation not only from her, but from much of the living, breathing world around him. If, then, there was an element of disappointment in the lives of these two, we must remember that many very com- monplace marriages are not wholly free from that element. It may j>ass unnoticed by the outer world. In this case, how- ever, we are drawn inevitably to consider it. I lO EARL Y MARRIED LIFE CHAPTER XII A. D. 1S27-1829 ' Cares of bread ' — The first loaf — Visit of the Jeffreys to Craigen- puttock — Mrs. Carlyle's preparatory ride to Dumfries — Friendly advice of Jeffrey to Carlyle — Invitation to Moray Place — The two mountain ponies — Mrs. Carlyle's loneliness — 'Brother Alick' — A visit to Templand — Letter from the wife to the husband — Visit of the Carlyles to Edinburgh — 22 George Square — Return to ' The Desert ' — Serious illness of Mrs. Carlyle — Visit of Mrs. Welsh — Permanently weakened health. Among the sorest of Mrs. Carlyle's efforts at Craigenputtock was the clifificulty of propitiating her husband's digestion, bad at all times. At Comely Bank he could eat the baker's bread. Here, the bread manufactured by the ' active maid ' who had come with the pair from Edinburgh quite failed to meet Carlyle's requirements, and Mrs. Carlyle determined to bake some herself. It sounds simple enough, but bread-making really is a matter requiring much nicety. Mr. Froude quotes Mrs. Carlyle's own account, written nearly thirty years later, to a Miss Smith of Carlisle. The narrative is given char- acteristically, with that intensity of language which was natural to the writer, inevitable, and also admirable, if we are careful to remember that, though not the language of exag- geration, it certainly gives more emphasis than bare facts will always fully bear out. She wrote as she felt, absolutely, and as things presented themselves to her. So many talents are wasted (she writes), so many enthusiasms turned to smoke, so many lives spoilt, . . . for want of recog- nising that it is not the greatness or littleness of the duty nearest hand, but the spirit in which ojie does it, that make one's doing HOME-MADE BREAD III noble or mean, / can't think how people who have any natural ambition, and any sense of power in them, escape going mad in a world like this, without the recognition of that, , . . I had gone with my husband to live on a little estate oi peat-bog, that had descended to me all the way down from John Welsh, the Covenanter who married a daughter of John Knox. TJiat didn't, I am ashamed to say, make me feel Craigenputtock a whit less of a peat-bog, and a most dreary, untoward place to live in. ... Further, we were tiery poor, and, further and worst, being an only child, and brought up to ' great prospects,' I was sublimely ignorant of every branch of useful knowledge, though a capital Latin scholar and a very fair mathematician. It behoved me, in these astonishing circumstances, to learn to sew ! Husbands, I was shocked to find, wore their stockings into holes, and were always losing buttons; and /was expected to ' look to all that.' Also it behoved me to learn to cook ! — no capable servant choos- ing to live at such an out-of-the-way place. ... It was plainly my duty as a Christian wife to bake at home ! So I sent for Cobbett's ' Cottage Economy, ' and fell to work at a loaf of bread. But, knowing nothing about the process of fermentation, or the heat of ovens, it came to pass that my loaf got put into the oven at the time that myself ought to have been put into bed. And I remained the only person not asleep in a house in the middle of a desert. One o'clock struck, and then two, and then three, and still I was sitting there, in an immense solitude, my whole body aching with weariness, my heart aching with a sense of forlornness and degradation that I, who had been so petted at home, whose comfort had been studied by everybody in the house, who had never been required lo do anything but cultivate my mind, should have to pass all those hours of the night in watching a loaf of bread — which might not turn out bread after all ! Such thoughts maddened me, till I laid down my head on the table and sobbed aloud. It was then that somehow the idea of Benvenuto Cellini sitting up all night watching his ' Perseus ' in the furnace came into my head, and suddenly I asked myself — ' After all, in the sight of the Upper Powers, what is the mighty difference between a statue of Perseus, and a loaf of bread, so that each be the thing one's hand has found to do ! . , . . ' * * See Appendix V. 112 EARLY MARRIED LIFE No doubt Mrs. Carlyle was thoroughly tired and dis- heartened on the occasion referred to. But the ' prospects ' to which she alludes could hardly have promised an immunity from all household cares. Many a clergyman's wife, many a barrister's wife placidly darns the socks of her husband and children, and, though not actually making bread, attends actively to culinary operations now and then, should occasion require. If any 'only child' is made the first study of all the inmates of a household, that child is ill-prepared for the realities of life; and no wife would expect to go on after marriage with the cultivation of her mind as her ' sole care.' Few wives, however, pursue their domestic activities in an atmosphere so barren of life's best charm as did Mrs. Carlyle, and few were less physically able for the exertions which come lightly and pleasantly to women of more robust temper- ament. If she felt everything with the acuteness which this letter displays — and it is to be feared she did — then was her outlook into life indeed a dark one.* An event much looked for was the promised visit of the Jeffreys to Craigenputtock, which took place in October of the same year, 1828. We can fancy the big carriage stand- mg in the humble farmyard, and the altogether unwonted elements introduced on the scene. Short notice had been given to the Lady of Craigenputtock — only a day, seemingly. Carlyle speaks in the ' Reminiscences ' of his wife's gallop to Dumfries and back, on this occasion, to make her prepara- tions — ' thirty good miles of swift canter, at least,' he calls it. Carlyle himself was at Scotsbrig, and no time to be lost. Mounted on 'Harry,' her 'well-broken, loyal little horse,' she m.ade this flying journey, ' laid her plans while galloping, ordered everything at Dumfries,' says Carlyle — ' sent word to me express, and galloped home, and stood victoriously pre- pared at all points to receive the Jeffreys. The party consisted of Jeffrey, his wife and daughter, and a servant. Well might the guests learn with surprise that * See Appendix V. A TENDER SOLICITUDE I I 3 their hostess's fair hands had cooked the excellent dinner. But such violent exertion was fatally wrong for Mrs. Carlyle's health; and after those physical efforts to be for two days 'on duty ' as hostess was a strain, no doubt, though no com- plaint would be made. Jeffrey was not blind to the state of things at Craigen- puttock, and felt a genuine alarm on account of Mrs. Carlyle, whose health and well-being were always so dear to him. But Carlyle could not see through his friend's eyes, and was absorbed in quite other lines of thought. Writing from Edinburgh after his visit, Jeffrey says to Carlyle: — Take care of the fair creature who has trusted herself so entirely to you. Do not let her ride about in the wet, nor ex- pose herself to the wintry winds that will, by-and-by, visit your lofty retreat; and think seriously of taking shelter in Moray Place [Jeffrey's house in Edinburgh] for a month or two; and in the meantime be gay and playful and foolish with her, at least as often as you require her to be wise and heroic with you. You have no fnissiofi upon earth, whatever you may fancy, half so important as to be innocently happy. . . . Jeffrey was wise and kind, and well understood how things were at Craigenputtock; but such advice was useless. The first winter at the ' Devil's Den,' as Carlyle had called his home, must have been a new experience to Mrs. Carlyle. A carrier's cart made its way weekly from Dumfries, when weather permitted; thus, the solace of letters was only an occasional one. Happily, Carlyle was well employed on pay- ing work for the Reviews. Flour and oatmeal were supplied from Scotsbrig; the farm yielded milk, eggs, hams, and poultry; groceries and tobacco were almost the only requi- sites to be bought. Sometimes the husband and wife rode out together on the two ponies, 'Larry' and 'Harry;' but Carlyle's rides were too often solitary, indifferent as he was to wet and cold, courting fatigue in every weather. In November, Mrs. Carlyle writes to Miss Stodart, and speaks of ' sitting here, companionless, " like owl in desert,"' 114 EARLY MARRIED LIPE and says she is feeding poultry, galloping on a bay horse, baking bread, improving her mind, eating, sleeping, making, and mending. She writes cheerfully, and had not yet really lost her quick energy and freshness. She speaks of the Jeffrey visit, and assures her friend that never did she (Mrs. Carlyle) assist at such a talking since she came into the world. No doubt Carlyle did his share on this occasion. Mrs. Carlyle, probably, hoped to be in Edinburgh during some part of the winter. It would have been easy, had Jeffrey's invitation been accepted. But the visit did not take place. Now and then she would gallop off alone to Templand — fifteen miles— to see her mother, who was seldom able to leave the house now, in consequence, probably, of her father's ill-health. In December, Mrs. Carlyle again writes to Miss Stodart on the subject of ' groceries,' adding pens and paper to the list of purchases to be made, to say nothing of sealing-wax, and a certain brown earthenware coffee-pot; the latter need- ful because the servant, Grace Macdonald, had, in excitement at receiving a letter from her lover, dashed the existing coffee- pot to pieces by her sudden movement. Truly Mrs. Carlyle did her utmost to turn the desert to an earthly paradise. But was there not much loneliness in the life — loneliness by no means to be cured by tending pigs and poultry ? By Carlyle' s own account, he wrote hard all day, in his little library, with a clear fire and green curtains to cheer him. Spanish they read between dinner and tea — a chapter of * Don Quixote.' After tea, he sometimes wrote again, and then not unfrequently went over to his brother Alick's cottage to smoke his last pipe; whether accompanied by Mrs. Carlyle or not is left unstated. He sometimes strolled in the plan- tations with his axe, and when not writing was generally reading. But his wife was contented so that she felt she had spared him an anxiety or an attack of indigestion. At the end of that year she spent a few days with her own people at Templand, but her heart was with her husband A WIFE'S YEARNINGS II5 at Craigenputtock, A beautiful letter is given by Mr, Froude, from which I must quote a few sentences, it is so womanly, and so tender in expression. Templand: December 30, 1828. Goody, Goody, dear Goody, — You said you would weary, and I do hope in my heart you are wearying. It will be so sweet to make it all up to you in kisses when I return. You will iake me, and hear all my bits of experiences, and your heart will beat when you find how I have longed to return to you. Darling, dearest, loveliest — ' The Lord bless you ! ' I think of you every hour, every moment. As to the blessing here given, Carlyle, annotating the letter in the sad days of his bereavement, says: ' Poor Edward Irving' s practice and locution; suspect of being somewhat too solemn.' Ending her letter, she says : — Dearest, I wonder if you are getting any victual. . . I have many an anxious thought about you, and I wonder if you sleep at nights, or if you are wandering about — on — on — smoking and killing mice. Oh! if I was there, I could put my arms so close about your neck, and hush you into the softest sleep you have had since I went away. Good-night ! Dream of me ! I am, ever. Your own Goody. And so, tenderly, harmoniously, ended the year 1828. Little is recorded of the year that followed. The spirit of beauty which attended on the dainty lady of Craigen- puttock showed ever-new manifestations. A rose-garden was laid out, and many graceful home arrangements perfected. Carlyle added a gig to the establishment, and many long drives were taken in it, A visit from Margaret, Carlyle's sister, was a welcome change for Mrs. Carlyle. It was in the summer of 1829. Margaret was a most interesting and lovable woman, Carlyle was much attached to her, and deeply mourned her death, which took place in June 1830 of consumption. Il6 EARLY MARRIED LIFE It was in November of 1829 that the Carlyles visited Edin- burgh for a short time, on a visit, we conclude, to Mr. John Bradfute, at 22 George Square. It would seem that the return to the solitude of Craigenputtock was felt to be very trying by Mrs. Carlyle. She tells Miss Stodart how she had wept at leaving Edinburgh, yet assures her that, after her first affright at returning to the ' desert,' she was again con- tented. What best reconciles her to the return to the wilds, is that Carlyle always likes her best * at home ' — a pretty reason, and a good one. She assures her old friend that she never loved her more dearly than now, and adds : ' And Carlyle loves you, too, more than you are aware ! ' So the life at Craigenputtock went on in the old groove. But the second winter there proved calamitous. It was near New Year's time, a season much celebrated in Scotland. A fat goose had been killed for the New Year's feast, when the snow fell, and the frost came, and Mrs. Carlyle caught a violent sore throat, which threatened to end in diphtheria. There was no doctor nearer than Dumfries, and the road from the valley was hardly passable. Mrs. Welsh struggled up from Templand through the snowdrifts. Care and nursing kept the enemy off, and the immediate danger in a few days was over, but the shock had left behind it a sense of insecurity, and the unsuitableness of such a home for so frail a frame became more than ever apparent. These words of Mr. Froude's give the whole state of the case very clearly. Jeffrey had seen it when he visited the Carlyles, but his counsels had been rejected. Carlyle, of course, could not see it. Perhaps it was hardly to be expected that he should do so. The rigid simplicity and laborious economy of his father's household inclined him rather to consider Mrs. Carlyle's position at Craigenputtock as one of ease, if not of affluence. So there was no help for it. The wife's stern sense of duty caused her to hide her real suffer- ings from her husband, and her love for him was not of that wholly absorbing and overpowering nature which could make WEARINESS 117 such silent martyrdom a glory, or could withhold her from telling her sad tale to others as time went on, and receiving such heart-sympathy as seems the due of such overweighted and suffering humanity — the more so when the sufferer is a woman. We should doubt if Mrs. Carlyle was ever quite the same after this severe illness. Her spirits began to weary in the solitude, and the gleams of light from without were few. One memorable episode occurring in the winter of 1829-30 was the correspondence with Goethe, to whom Mrs. Carlyle sent 'an incomparable black ringlet' — ^ eine unverglekhliche schwarze Haar-locke,' to quote Goethe's own wofds. He regretted that he could not send her a lock of his own in return. I 1 8 EARLY MARRIED LIFE CHAPTER XIII A. D. 1830-31 Alexander Carlyle leaves Craigenputtock — Second visit of the Jeffreys to the Carlyles in their solitude — Mrs. Carlyle confesses her unhappiness to Jeffrey — The eventless life again sets in — The Jeffreys go to London — Carlyle's generosity to his brothers — He accepts help from Jeffrey, and goes to London to push his liter- ary enterprises — A hard and sad time for Mrs. Carlyle^Ill- health and anxiety — Her verdict on 'Sartor' — Letters from Carlyle to his wife — Irving in the region of the supernatural — Caution of publishers — Good appointment for Dr. John Carlyle — Thoughts of living in London — Tender letters from Carlyle — Solitude doing its work on the delicate constitution of Mrs. Carlyle — Kindness of Carlyle's mother — Mrs. Carlyle's determi- nation to join her husband in London — Encouragement. The year 1830 opened somewhat ominously. Alick's farming of Craigenputtock had turned out ill — another tenant must be found; and so the little family party was robbed of a bright and wholesome element. Carlyle felt his brother's absence much, and was more gloomy than before. In vain the kind Jeffrey urged the Carlyles, with every cordial expres- sion, to come and visit him at Craigcrook. He besought Carlyle to bring 'his blooming Eve out of his "blasted paradise," and seek shelter in the lower world.' To Mrs. Carlyle he promised 'roses, and a blue sea, and broad shadows stretching over the fields.' As it might not be, the Jeffreys again came to Craigen- puttock to see their friends. Carlyle was again at Scotsbrig at the critical moment. Returning (he said, September 18, 1830) late in the evening from a long ride, I found an express from Dumfries that the Jeffreys would be all at Craigenputtock that night. Of the A DREARY WINTER 119 riding and running, the scouring and scraping, and Caleb- Balder- stone-arranging my unfortunate but shifty and invincible Goody must have had, I say nothing. I set out next morning, and, on arriving here, actually found the Dean of the Faculty, with his adherents, sitting comfortably, in a house swept and gar- nished, awaiting my arrival. Again Jeffrey felt the pain of Mrs. Carlyle's position — it shocked and distressed him. He saw, only too well, what might come of it all, and had the double pain of feeling his own helplessness in the matter. Mrs. Carlyle had, naturally, confessed to him her unhappiness at Craigenputtock. No such admission was needed to one who was able to feel for the delicate woman, cut off from so much that made life pleasant, and facing another frightful winter. The Jeffreys reluctantly departed, and again the eventless life set in for Mrs. Carlyle. It was in October that Carlyle wrote to his mother: ' The wife and I are very quiet here, and accustom- ing ourselves as fast as we can to the stillness of winter, which is just coming on. These are the greyest and most silent days I ever saw. My broom, as I sweep up the withered leaves, might be heard at a furlong's distance.' So, drearily, silently the third winter at the Desert set in, and the year 183 1 began. It was marked by an important change for the Jeffreys. The Dean of Faculty went into Parliament, and was taken into the new Government, as Lord Advocate. His duties now took him to London, and his letters to Mrs. Carlyle were full of details of his new life — a contrast indeed to that of his friends at Craigen- puttock. Carlyle had made up his mind, if by utmost economy the sum of 50/. could be raised, to go to London and find a publisher for ' Sartor,' or, failing that, possibly to give lectures. His generosity to his brothers had left his own finances very low. It was a hard and a sad time for the Carlyles — hardest of all for her. And now begins the record of severe headache, which I20 EARLY MARRIED LIFE recurs so often in the sad letters she was yet to write. In a letter dated Spring 1831 to Jean Carlyle, Mrs Carlyle says: ' I was meaning to write you a long letter by Alick, but I have been in bed all day with a headache, and am risen so confused and dull that, for your sake, as well as my own, I shall keep my speculations — news I have none — till another opportunity. . , .' The financial difficulty pressed heavily. The warm, dry, summer days brought no cheering. Even Carlyle's heart failed him. The kind Jeffrey, presenting to him a list of all possible situations, asked him which he would detest the least, that he might know before applying for it. But the end of it all was his unwilling acceptance of a loan of 50/. from Jeffrey to try the fate of ' Sartor ' in London. Mrs. Carlyle's verdict, 'It is a work of genius, dear,' might cheer him on his lonely way. He wrote in 1866, speaking of that journey: — Night before going — how I still remember it! I was lying on my back, on the sofa in the drawing-room. She sitting by the table late at night — packing all done, I suppose. Her words had a guise of sport, but were profoundly plaintive in meaning. ' About to part; and who knows for how long, and what may have come in the interim.' This was her thought, and she was evidently much out of spirits. ' Courage, dear! Only for a month! ' Here are a few sentences from the letter he wrote her on August II, 183 1, a week after his departure: — 6 Woburn Buildings, Tavistock Square, Dearest, and Wife, — I have got a frank for you, and will write from the heart whatever is in the heart. A blessing it was that you made me give such a promise, for I feel that an hour's speech, in speaking with my own, will do me infinite good. It is very sweet, in the midst of this soul-confusing phantasmagoria, to know that I have a fixed possession .elsewhere; that my own Jeannie is thinking of me, loving me; that her heart is no dream. CARL YLE HOMESICK I 2 I like all the rest of it. Oh! love me, my dearest — always love me. I am richer with thee than the whole world could make me otherwise. Delightful it was ... on opening my trunk, to find every- where traces of my good ' coagitor's ' care and love! The very jujube-box, with its worsted and darning needle, did not escape me; it was so beautiful I could almost have cried over it. And again, on August 15, he writes: — Your kind, precious letter came to me on Friday like a cup of water in the hot desert. It is all like yourself, so clear, so pre- cise, loving, and true to the death. I see poor Craigenputtock through it, and the best little Goodykin sitting there, hourly meditating on me, and watching my return. Oh, I am very rich, were I without a penny in the world ! But the Herzen's Goody must not fret herself, and torment her poor sick head. I will be back to her; not an hour will I lose. Heaven knows the sun shines not on the spot that could be pleasant to me where she were not. So be of comfort, my Jeannie! . . . Again, August 22, he addresses her as ' My dearest little comforter,' with many other tender expressions: — Compose thyself, my darling (he writes) — we shall not be separated, come of it what may. And how should we do, thinkst thou, with an eternal separation ? O God! it is fearful, fearful! But is not a little temporary separation like this needful to mani- fest what daily mercy is in our lot, which otherwise we might forget, or esteem as a thing of course .'' Understand, however, once more, that I have yet taken up with no other woman , . . there has no one yet fronted me whom, even to look at, I would exchange with my own. ' Ach, Gott!' Yes, proud as I am grown (for, the more the Devil pecks at me, the more vehemently do I wring his nose), and standing on a kind of basis which I feel to be of adamant, I perceive that, of all women, my own Jeannie is the wife for me; that in her true bosom (once she were a mystic) a man's head is worthy to lie. Be a mystic, dearest; that is, stand with me on this everlasting basis, and keep thy arms around me; through life I fear nothing. 122 EARLY MARRIED LIFE It was well that Carlyle dwelt thus fondly on the remem- brance of his absent wife, for his London visit gave him little pleasure. His old friend Irving was in the ' region of the supernatural ' — very uncongenial quarters for Carlyle; Badams (another old friend), hovering on the verge of ruin from intemperance; another Craigenputtock neighbour having come out as a ' wonder-worker, and speaker with tongues.' And, on the whole, Carlyle felt that the Devil was busier than ever, and turned for healing thoughts to his wise and beautiful little Jeannie, in the lonely house on the Dun- score moors. There lay sympathy for him, and a loving heart, as he well knew; and he needed such. Publishers were cautious, and the MS. of ' Teufelsdrockh ' hung fire unaccountably. But an unexpectedly good ap- pointment for Dr. John Carlyle made things easier, as Carlyle was now repaid the money he had so generously advanced to that well-loved brother; and thus Mrs. Carlyle was able, without help from Mrs. Montagu, which had been offered and declined, to join her husband in London, and leave her snowy solitude, as it would be in a few months' time. She hailed the prospect with joy. Carlyle again wrote tender words on August 29: 'In this spectre-crowded desert I have a living person whose heart I can clasp to mine, and so feel that I, too, am alive. Do you not love me better than ever now ? I feel in my own soul that thou dost and must. Therefore, let us never mourn over this little separation, which is but to make the reunion blessed and entire.' It would seem that Mrs. Carlyle, in these lonely days, could not await the weekly carrier as postman, but took to riding to Dumfries herself, in her impatience, and calling for letters — thirty-two miles hard riding in the month of August; and Carlyle says: * Bless thee, my darling ! I could almost wish thee the pain of a ride to Dumfries weekly for the sake of such a letter. But had yow actually to faint all the way up ? Heaven forbid ! ' LEFT ALONE I 23 It is plain that the return from these frantic rides after letters were made in exhaustion, probably more than once. But we can understand the feverish eagerness after letters from her husband, for Alick Carlyle and his sister were no longer at the farm. Strangers occupied it, and the solitude was crushing — * often, for hours, the only sound, the sheep nibbling the short grass a quarter of a mile away.' The con- ditions, not realised by Carlyle, were truly almost intolerable to his wife, and absolutely harmful to an extent which can never be estimated. The kind old mother at Scotsbrig had sent Jean and Alick to the rescue, and Mrs. Carlyle thanked her for this loving care, ' without which ' she says,— I think I must soon have worked myself into a fever or other violent disorder; for my talent for fancying things . . . had so entirely got the upper hand of me, that I could neither sleep by night nor rest by day. I have slept more since they came. . . . I have news: I am going to my husband, and as soon as I can get ready for leaving. Now, do not grieve that he is not to re- turn so soon as we expected. I am sure it is for his good, and therefore for all our goods, . . . Jean is going with me to Temp- land to-day, as a sort of protection against my mother's agita- tions. Mrs. Carlyle evidently dreaded the excitability of Mrs. Welsh, and possible outbursts, and she was ill able to cope with such elements, Carlyle was becoming restless and dissatisfied in London. He wrote on September 11: ' One should actually, as Irving advises, ''pray to the Lord:" if one did but know how to do it! ' He winds up a bitter reflection of his incompatibilities with Jeffrey in the words- 'Why should a man, though bilious, never so nervous, impoverished, bug-bitten and bedevilled, let Satan have dominion over him ? Save me ! save me, my Goody. , . ,* It was no ordinary mission that the delicate lady of Craigenputtock undertook in this visit to London, no mere 124 EARLY MARRIED LIFE pleasure-trip, so to speak. It was not easy to face it all, and carry it out with high courage and spirits. She had shown signs of flagging in her letters, and no wonder. Carlyle wrote on September 23: — You are agitated, and provoked, which is almost the worst way of the two. Alas! and I have no soft Aladdin's palace here, to bid you hasten and take repose in — nothing but a noisy, untoward lodging-house, and no better shelter than my own bosom. Yet, is not this the best of all shelters for you ? — the only safe place in this wide, wide world. Thank God, this still is yours, and I can receive you there without distrust, and wrap you close with the solacements of a true heart's love! Hasten thither, then, my own wife. ... CHAPTER XIV A. D. 1831 Mrs. Carlyle's arrival in London — Ampton Street — The Irvings — Ill- health of Mrs. Carlyle — Position with Mrs. Montagu — Meetings with congenial spirits — Carlyle still restless — Death of his father — Impending return to Craigenputtock — Misgivings — A sad re- turn — Solitary habits — Realisation of the actual by Mrs. Carlyle — Jeffrey's anxiety about Mrs. Carlyle. It was on October i, 183 1, that Mrs. Carlyle arrived in London, tired with her journey, and charged with the care, not only of her personal belongings, but with substantial rein- forcements from the generous folk at Scotsbrig — oatmeal, hams, butter, &c. — towards the living-expenses of the coming winter. Comfortable rooms were found in Ampton Street, out of Gray's Inn Road, in the house of an excellent family named Miles, members of Irving's congregation. Eliza Miles was a devoted admirer of Mrs. Carlyle from the first. Friends began to flock around the gifted pair, and London society was open to them in several directions. Mrs. Carlyle was a great attraction; her light, no longer hid under a bushel, made itself apparent on all sides. The latest developments in the Irvingite congregation distressed the Carlyles sadly. Urged to go into the house while a 'meeting' was going on, the sounds they heard shocked and disgusted them both, reducing Mrs. Carlyle to the verge of fainting. Carlyle could not drag Irving back from what seemed an awful precipice, and, after one effort, tragical in its circumstances and failure, the matter was left alone. There could be no real intercourse or sympathy any more between the friends. 125 126 EARL Y MARRIED LIFE Writing to her aunt, in Maryland Street, Liverpool, in December ^of this year, Mrs. Carlyle says, speaking of London: — Nowhere have I found more worth, more talent, or more kindness; and I doubly regret the ill-health I have been suffer- ing under, since it has so curtailed my enjoyment of all this. Nevertheless, though I dare seldom accept an invitation out, I have the pleasantest evenings at home. ... I have seen most of the literary people here, and, as Edward Irving said after his first interview with Wordsworth, ' I think not of them so highly as I was wont.' In a letter of the same date, to ^ean Carlyle, she writes: — I do not forget you m London, as you predicted. . . Often, when I have been lying ill here among strangers, it has been my pleasantest thought that there were kind hearts at home to whom my sickness would not be a weariness; to whom I could return, out of all this hubbub, with affection and trust. Not that I am not kindly used here — from the ' noble lady,' down to the mistress of the lodging, I have everywhere found unlooked-for civility, and at least the show of kindness. With the ' noble lady,' how- ever, I may mention my intercourse seems to be dying an easy, natural death. Now that we k7iow each other, the ' fine en-thu- si-asm ' cannot be kept alive without more hypocrisy than one of us, at least, can bring to bear on it. These hard words came not from the heart of Jane Welsh Carlyle; they welled up from a bitter fountain, due to the in- fluence of physical suffering, perhaps, which tinctured many utterances of one who was naturally loyal, generous, and kind. Such harsh judgments must be looked on with gentleness, and largely discounted, as we consider the intense nervous suffering of the speaker, her eagle eye, and quick wit, which rendered such cutting speeches so easy to make; and, above all, when we remember the deep kindliness of heart that lay beneath the sarcastic expression. It was to Mrs. Montagu that Carlyle wrote: ' Indeed, indeed, my dear Madam, I am not mad enough to forget you. AM INJUDICIOUS OFFER \ 2 7 The more I see of the world and myself, the less tendency have I that way; the more do I feel that in this, my wilder- ness-journey, I have found but one Mrs. Montagu ! ' This was written on Christmas Day, 1826, and as late as 1830 Carlyle was writing in most cordial terms to this dear, valued friend, assuring her that he was ' in nowise of the forgetting species,' but with a heart whereon 'the love-charm and think-of-me, once written, stood ineffaceable, defying all time and weather ! ' And these words were written after the episode of Mrs. Montagu's unwise but kindly-meant inter- ference in the Edward Irving affair. Evidently Mrs. Montagu, in her kindness of heart, finding Carlyle lonely in London during the visit he was making, had, not unnaturally, offered pecuniary help to make it easy for Mrs. Carlyle to join him. It was not easy to offer such help to the Carlyles — impossible to do it without giving pain — but surely not unnatural to offer it under the circum- stances. We are left to imagine how the offer was received, but Carlyle thus alludes to it in his letter to his wife dated August 22, 1831: ' On the whole, my original impression of that *' noble lady " was the true one. . . . She goes upon words — words. . . . For trust or friendship it is now more clearly than ever a chimera. I smiled ... at her offer of "giving YOU money" to come hither. Ja/te Welsh Carlyle a taker of money in this era of the " gigmen " — niinmer und nimmermehr ! ' Friendship could not easily stand such a strain as this was on either side. But Carlyle owed much to Mrs. Montagu; and her title of 'noble lady' remains to her intact through all time. Extreme sensitiveness causes many sad perversions in human judgment. There are pleasant records of visits from Jeffrey — often in an afternoon — quick, lively, and light; of dinner with Eraser; meetings with Allan Cunningham, Hogg (the Ettrick Shep- herd), Gait, Lockhart, and others; and by-and-by the BuUers came to town, and Chirles Buller, Carlyle's former pupil, a 128 EARLY MARRIED LIFE most brilliant and lovable young man, renewed intercourse with his gifted friend. It should have been a congenial time for Carlyle. But he continued 'hag-ridden' here, as on the lonely moors. He spoke of London as * a wild, wondrous, chaotic den of discord,' but doubts not there is * a deep, Divine meaning in it, and God in the midst of it ' — this to his father, in one of the last letters he ever wrote to the old man, dated December 13, 183 1. The father's death took place in January 1832, and though unable to be present at the funeral, Carlyle wrote tenderly to his good mother — beautifully and piously, in a way that gave certain comfort to her. And now there remained but a few weeks of the London visit, and the prospect of a return to Craigenputtock loomed up on the horizon, Hope of fixed employment or literary appointment there seemed none; but editors of magazines were anxious to employ Carlyle, and, with the anxiety of his brother John quite relieved, he felt that he could look to a modest competence, and with indifference, not unmixed with scorn, he prepared for a return to the * wilderness.' Carlyle felt it a blessing to have the place to go to; but Mrs. Carlyle must have dreaded the renewal of many of the conditions in- separable from it. Travelling from Liverpool by the Annan steamer was a real martyrdom to the delicate woman. Her health was low, and the dreary shadow fell on her spirit. It was on March 25, 1832, that the homeward journey was begun, and in a few days the vision of the brilliant bit of life in London had come to look quite unreal — all was as before. Carlyle's account of this memorable London visit, as given in the ' Reminiscences,' may be quoted here. He tells how he wished to * give our brave little Jeannie a sight of this big Babel,' adding: — She came right willingly, and had — in spite of her ill-health, which did not abate, but the contrary — an interesting, cheery, and, in spite of our poor arrangements, really pleasant winter here. . . . Visitors, &c., she had in plenty: John Mill one of the J RETURN TO THE DESERT I 29 most interesting, so modest, ardent, ingenuous, ingenious, and so very fond of me, at that time. Mrs. Basil Montagu (already a correspondent of hers), now accurately seen, was another of the distinguished. Jeffrey, Lord Advocate, often came on an afternoon. ... In the evening, miscellany, of hers and mine. . . . News of my father's death came here. Oh, how good and tender she was, and consolatory by every kind of art in those black days ! I remember our walk along Holborn forward into the city, and the bleeding mood I was in, she wrapping me like the softest of bandages. . . . Nothing was wanting in her sym- pathy, or in the manner of it, as even from sincere people there often is. How poor we were, and yet how rich ! It was not a cheering beginning of the home-coming that Mrs. Carlyle should suffer from sea-sickness, so frightfully as she did, in the steamer which conveyed them from Liver- pool to Annan. There had been a few days of pleasant rest by the way at Maryland Street, with uncle John and the kindly cousins, but the voyage was a martyrdom to Mrs. Carlyle. In the 'Reminiscences,' Carlyle says, 'Sick, sick, my poor woman must have been — but she retired out of sight, and would suffer with her best grace in silence; ' and again: — At Whinniery I remember brother Alick and others of them were waiting to receive us; there were tears among us (my father gone when we returned) ; she wept bitterly, I recollect, her sym- pathetic heart girdled in much sickness and dispiritment of her own withal. . . . We returned in some days to Craigenputtock, and were again at peace there. . . . Our .summers and winters for the future (1832-1834) were lonelier than ever. The loneliness must have been overwhelming, and more terrible from contrast with the bit of social life in London. Carlyle's intense pre-occupation, of the stormy and often gloomy type, rendered him unable to endure the presence of a second person while he wrote, or wrestled with his spiritual demon. He sat alone, therefore, he also walked alone; nor could any delicate woman have tramped beside him, or after him, with benefit to her health. He often rode alone, in the 1 30 _ EARL Y MARRIED LIFE same environment of stormy thought. What he did need, now and then, was a listener; but as his style was the mono- logue, it hardly offered the attractions of what is called con- versation, and was rather a violent and drastic outpouring from his own overcharged spirit, leading to no blessed response of sympathy and wifely understanding — for it was susceptible of none ! It was not as when the tired man of business or of letters tells, in his own brief way, the causes of an anxious day, and is soothed by sympathy and under- standing — in his wife's few words and clasp of the hand, or silent caress. Carlyle, fevered, hag-ridden, fiercely self-involved, was able only for such solitary relief as we have described, and his wife quietly settled into what she now felt to be her place beside him. Her courage enabled her to hide her own suffer- ings from him, but her heart must have been heavy. Pos- sibly she felt some comfort in the correspondence with Jeffrey, to whom she wrote more freely than to any one else, for he understood, and was man enough to sympathise without pitying. Mr. Froude's estimate of a certain peculiarity in Carlyle' s character is so trenchant, so intensely true, that we quote it as containing volumes. 'If matters went well with himself, it never occurred to him that they could be going ill with any one else; and, on the other hand, if he was uncomfortable, he required everybody to be uncomfortable along with him.' This is perfect as a sketch of character. And as Carlyle was so much oftener ?/«comfortable than comfortable, some idea can be formed of Mrs. Carlyle's position on the Dunscore moor; some idea can also be formed of the agony of regret and pain with which, after her death, her husband, who really loved her in his own way, read the letters and records of the profound anguish and deep discouragement which he had never known or ministered to. Meantime, he writes in May 1832 to his mother; ' Jane is far heartier now that she has got to work — to bake.' He THE BRIGHTER SIDE OE THE PICTURE I 3 I himself was vigorous — worlcing with a ' dock-spade ' and riding on horseback; but the two sides of the picture did not correspond. Carlyle was now cutting out an original intellectual path for himself; and, but for his indigestion, which weighed perhaps more heavily on others than on himself, was well and tolerably satisfied, though never a cheerful companion. His wife, on the other hand, was realising the intense trial of solitude and shattered nerves. Resolved as she was to be a help and not a hindrance to her husband, she tnanfully, we Use the word advisedly, in its best sense, set herself to endure in silence if not in patience, and to make Carlyle' s path as smooth as she could, in the only way open to her. The daughter of the London landlady, Miss Eliza Miles, had formed quite a romantic attachment to her mother's charming lodger, and wished to go to Craigenputtock as servant to the dainty, delicate lady. But Mrs. Carlyle knew that would be a mistake and a sacrifice. Mrs. Carlyle wrote kindly to her admiring friend in June 1832: — ... I never forgot my gentle Ariel in Ampton Street; it were positive sin to forget her — so helpful she, so trustful, so kind, so good ! Besides, this is the place of all others for think- ing of absent friends, where one has so seldom any present to think of. It is the stillest, solitariest place that it ever entered your imagination to conceive, where one has the strangest, shadowy existence. Nothing is actual in it but the food we eat, the bed one sleeps on, and, praised be Heaven, the fine air one breathes. The rest is all a dream of the absent and distant, of things past and to come. . . . For my part I am very content. I have everything here my heart desires that I could have anywhere else, except society, and even that deprivation is not to be considered wholly an evil. If people we like and take pleasure in do not come about us here as in London, it is thankfully to be remembered that here ' the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at rest.' If the knocker make no sound for weeks together, it is so much the better for my nerves. My husband is as good company as reasonable 132 EARL Y MARRIED LIFE mortal could desire. Every fair morning we ride on horseback for an hour before breakfast .... and then we eat such a sur- prising breakfast of home-baked bread and eggs, &c., as might incite anyone that had breakfasted so long in London to write a pastoral. Then Carlyle takes to his writing, while I, like Eve, ' studious of household good,' inspect my house, my garden, my live stock, gather flowers for my drawing-room, and lapfuls of eggs, and finally betake myself to writing, or reading, or mending, or making, or whatever work seems fittest. After dinner, and only then, I lie on the sofa (to my shame be it spoken) sometimes sleep, but oftenest dream waking. In the evening I walk on the moor. . . . Brave Jane Welsh Carlyle! she drew a 'fair picture,' of which the reverse side looked very differently. Some touching lines, written by her at this period, dated from * The Desert,' and sent with rose-leaves along with them in a letter to Jeffrey, tell a different tale, and, we fear a truer one ! The verses are ' To a swallow building under our eaves.' The last stanza is as follows: — God speed thee, pretty bird; may thy small nest With little ones all in good time be blest. I love thee much; For well thou managest that life of thine, While I ! Oh, ask not what I do with mine ! Would I were such ! It was not to be wondered at if Jeffrey's kind heart ached now and then, as he thought of his delicate and beloved cousin's helplessness, and his own helplessness, to alter the conditions of her life ! CHAPTER XV A. D. 1832-1834 Carlyle's letter to his mother — Mrs. Carlyle's overstrained nerves and failing strength — Her letter to Eliza Stodart — Mrs. Welsh's delicate,' health — Death of Walter Welsh of Templand — The Car- lyles plan a long visit to Edinburgh — The home at r8 Carlton Street, Stockbridge — The ' disgraceful home march ' — An angel's visit at Craigenputtock — Meeting of Emerson and the Carlyles — The relapse into solitude — Living in London seriously contem- plated — Preparations. Carlyle wrote to his brother John in July 1832: — As to Craigenputtock, it is, as formerly, the scene of scribble — scribbling. Jane is in a weakly state still, but I think clearly gathering strength. Her life beside me, constantly vv^riting here, is but a dull one; however, she seems to desire no other; has in many things, pronounced the word enisagett, and looks with a brave, if with no joyful, heart into the present and the future. August in this year was marked by household trouble, the valued maid-servant had misconducted herself, and was sent away at an hour's notice. Her place could not im- mediately be filled, and all the work fell on Mrs. Carlyle. ' Oh, mother, mother ! ' exclaimed Carlyle, in telling her the story, * what trouble the devil does give us ! . . ' In this case, no doubt the heaviest share of the trouble fell on the delicate frame of Mrs. Carlyle. For accounts more or less ' mythical ' as to her active occupations during the residence at Craigenputtock, the reader is referred to Miss Jewsbury's * In Memoriam ' notice of Mrs. Carlyle in the ' Reminiscences ' and Carlyle's own commentary thereon. That Mrs. Carlyle overtaxed her physical strength and powers of endurance is beyond all doubt, and the actual cause of the over-exertion 133 134 EARLY MARRIED LIFE cannot be exactly set down in black and white. There was habitual over-strain, and a deficiency in the elements that her sensitive, and always tender, health needed for well-being. It is idle to dispute as to the detail of such deficiency. The autumn wore on, a servant was found, and things went on much as before. In a letter written to Miss Stodart early in October 1832, Mrs. Carlyle says: — In prolonged bad health, and worse spirits, I judged there could be small call upon me to be sending letters out, as it were, into infinite space, no sounds of them ever more heard. Still vainer seemed it to apply for sympathy to one who was apparently nowise concerning herself whether I remained behind in a nice flower-potted London churchyard, or returned in a state of total wreck to my own country. . . . Does your uncle ever make the smallest mention of me ? ever inquire if the mischievous creature who broke his ' folder' is still working deviltry on this planet.? Alas, no? She is sober enough now; along succession of bad days and sleepless nights have effectually tamed her. O, Bess ! for one good laugh with you, for the sake of old times ! Mrs. Welsh's health was giving her daughter uneasiness at this time, and, after a brief visit to Templand, Mrs. Carlyle went back to assure herself all was well at Craigenputtock, and again prepared to go to Templand, deploring at the same time the weak and nervous state of body which caused her to suffer for days after her so short a journey. It was towards the end of November 1832 that Walter Welsh died, and again there was need of settling on a home for Mrs. Welsh, whose own strength had visibly failed her. There was a plan for the Carlyles to spend the coming winter in Edinburgh, and inquiries had already been made as to a positive house, which must be subject to three limitations: 'First, it must be free of bugs; secondly, of extraordinary noises; and lastly, of a high rent.' Such had been Mrs. Carlyle's instructions to her old friend a few weeks before the death of Walter Welsh. The question now arose whether Mrs. Welsh would SECOND RESIDENCE IN EDINBURGH I 35 come and live with her daughter, could a suitable home be found; but it seemed unlikely, and Mrs. Welsh probably felt that the atmosphere would be overcharged with elements not soothing to her in her overwrought and nervous state. Mrs. Carlyle, too, was keenly conscious of the difficulties all round, and dreaded their own little flitting, grieved over her mother's loneliness, and was acutely sensible of her own, and ends her letter of December 5, to Miss Stodart, with significant words : ' In the meantime God help her and all of us ! Mrs. Carlyle had the comfort of having helped her mother in the nursing of good old Walter, who, as Carlyle said in a letter to his brother John, ' had the gentlest death, and had numbered four score years ! ' But for his daughter, the cessation by death of her long and tender cares, was a dreary blank, admitting scant consolation. It was determined once more to try a residence in Edin- burgh, and a small furnished house was found in Stockbridge, a part of the city lying in the valley of the Water of Leith, 18 Carlton street. Miss Stodart was to find some honest woman to put on a fire and have a kettle boiling to receive the travellers, and Mrs. Carlyle was to bring a small maid- servant with her. Mrs. Welsh, weak and depressed, would not accompany the Carlyles, but was to join them later, but it is not clear that she ever did so. This second residence in Edinburgh was not a success. Carlyle was, according to his own account, * languid, bilious, not very open to kindness.' A wretched state for him, and no less so for his wife; solitude had wearied him and palled on him. Society was barren enough to him. He was ill at ease. Neither he nor his wife could sleep for street noises after the deadly silence of Craigenputtock. Both of them suffered from catarrh. Jane in particular. *We have society enough,' says Carlyle. ' The best the ground yields. The time for returning to Puttock will too soon be here. I have not abated in my dislike for that residence, in the con- 136 EARLY MA RRIED LIFE viction that it is no longer good for me.' It was certainly no longer good for his wife — it had never been good ioxhei-; but Carlyle did not think of that just then ! Attached to the letter from which we are quoting, a letter to John Carlyle, is a postscript in Mrs. Carlyle' s hand. Excusing herself for delay in replying to her brother-in-law's letter, she says : ' In truth I am always so sick now and so heartless that I cannot apply myself to any mental effort without a push from Necessity. . . .' Carlyle became more and more embittered with Edin- burgh : 'One of the dullest, and poorest, and, on the whole, paltriest places for me.' Those last two words, ' for me,' strike the key-note of so much of Mrs. Carlyle's unhappiness. What was it for her, and to what could the nervous, shrinking, delicate woman look if Edinburgh failed ? At the end of March Carlyle writes to his brother John : ' She (Jane) bears up with fixed resolution, appears even to enjoy many things in Edinburgh, yet has grown no stronger of late.' It is during this month of March 1833 that Mrs. Carlyle speaks of such intense pain in her head that she became quite unconscious, and on the return journey to Craigen- puttock, which Mrs. Carlyle terms ' the disgraceful home- march ! ' she could get no further than Templand, suffering such misery by the way as she could not describe, and there she lay for a week, ill and helpless with a species of influenza, which also attacked Mrs. Welsh. But at last the weary pil- grimage was over and Mrs. Carlyle was again in her solitude and found all well, save for the accidental burning of a plantation of trees which had been planted by Dr. Welsh, and this misfortune gave sharp pain to the loving daughter, who could have cried over it, in the pain of seeing the work of that beloved hand destroyed. A characteristic letter, written in July 1833, to Eliza Miles, shows something of the real state of Mrs. Carlyle's mind and health at this time. We can only give a brief extract: — Visn' OF RALPH WALDO EMERSON I 37 , . . What is it, then, you will ask, that makes me fail in so simple a duty of friendship as the writing of a letter? . . . My first impulse, after reading your letter, was to sit down and answer it by the very next post. Then I thought, I will wait till the Lord Advocate's return, that he may frank it! Then troubles thickened round me : my mother's illness, my grand- father's death, gave me much fatigue of body and mind. That, again, increased to cruel height my own persevering ailments. ... I wrote to no one ; had enough to do in striving with the tempter ever present with me in the shape of headaches, heart- ache, and all kinds of aches, that I might not break out into fiery indignation over my own destiny and all the earth's. . . . So wrote the wife, while the husband was confiding to the pages of his private journal that he was ' the solitariest, stranded, most helpless creature.' Distinctly, then, it was a solitude a deux, as we have said before. But Craigenputtock was about to receive an angel's visit. An entry in Carlyle's Journal gives hint of a new-comer, a new voice, a new step on the stair. In another handwriting stand the words 'Ralph Waldo Emerson.' Emerson's health had failed him in 1832, and conscientious scruples also led to his resigning his pastorate of thp Uni- tarian church of Boston. Advised to try a sea voyage, he embarked for Europe in 1833, and made delightful pilgrim- ages to classic spots on the Continent, as well as in England. In Edinburgh he made the acquaintance of Mr. Alexander Ireland, with whom he rambled about for a few days. He spoke much of Carlyle and some of his essays which had ap- peared in ' The Edinburgh Review' and ' Foreign Review.' He expressed an ardent desire to see Carlyle face to face. He also wished to meet Wordsworth. ' Am I,' he said to Mr. Ireland, ' who have hung over their works in my chamber at home, not to see these men in the flesh and thank them, when I am passing their very door ?' He had great difficulty in finding out exactly where Carlyle lived. Mr. Ireland was able to obtain the information, and at last Emerson found his 135 EARLY MARRIED LIFE way, after many hindrances, to Craigenputtock. He had the grand American indifference as to our petty distances, in these insignificant quarters of the world, and would not be deterred by a score or so of barren miles of moorland. It may here be mentioned that Mr. Ireland's acquaintance with Emerson in Edinburgh in 1833 led to the honour and priv- ilege of a life-long friendship with the latter. One result of the intimacy was Mr. Emerson's memorable lecturing visit to England in 1847-48 which was arranged by Mr. Ireland. It is pleasant also to recall that final visit to England in 1873, when Emerson, with his daughter Ellen, spent his last two days on British ground in Mr. Ireland's home at Bowdon. In faithful fulfilment of his promise, Emerson wrote a long and deeply interesting letter to Mr. Ireland, on August 30, 1833, with details of his visit. He had, indeed, found his way, after many hindrances, to the centre of desolation, where lived Carlyle with his bright and accomplished wife. Twenty-four hours he spent there, and, in the walks over the barren moors, the pleasure of joyful acquaintance ripened quickly but surely into a deep friendship of such loyalty and beauty as were worthy of the two noble men who were parties to it. ' The Carlyles were sitting alone at dinner,' Mr. Froude tells us, 'on a Sunday afternoon at the end of August, when a Dum- fries carriage drove to the door, and there stepped out of it a young American, then unknown to fame, but whose influ- ence in his own country equals that of Carlyle in ours, and whose name stands connected with his wherever the English language is spoken.' A few sentences from Emerson's letter to Mr. Ireland may be quoted. Speaking of Carlyle he says : — I found him one of the most simple and frank of men, and became acquainted with him at once. . . . The comfort of meet- ing a man of genius is that he speaks sincerely; that he feels himself to be so rich, that he is above the meanness of pretending to knowledge which he has not, and Carlyle does not pretend to have solved the great problems. . . . He is, as you might guess THE CLOUD RETURNS 1 39 from his papers, the most catholic of philosophers; he forgives and loves everybody, and wishes each to struggle on in his own place and arrive at his own ends. . . , He talks finely — seems to love the broad Scotch, and I loved him very much at once. I am afraid he finds his entire solitude tedious, but I could not help congratulating him on his treasure in his wife, and I hope he will not leave the moors. . . . In Emerson's 'English Traits' (not published until 1856), he speaks much of this visit, and says, ' Carlyle was already turning his eyes towards London.' Years later, when Carlyle was writing to Emerson in acknowledgment of some of the never-failing kindnesses of that unselfish friend, Mrs. Carlyle adds a little postscript. '■Forgotten you V she says. — ' O no indeed! If there were nothing else to remember you by, I should never forget the visitor who, years ago in the desert, descended on us, out of the clouds as it were, and made one day there look like enchantment for us, and left me weeping that it was only one day. . . The bright ray of Emerson's visit was again sunk into darkness, and the old monotony and cloud returned. Mrs. Welsh, with a mother's anxiety, took her daughter away for a few days of change and rest, during which Carlyle wrote tenderly solicitous, saying, ' Take a little amusement, dear Goody, if thou canst get it ! God knows little comes to thee with me, and thou art right patient under it.' This was in September 1833. At the end of a fortnight Mrs. Carlyle returned from Moffat to Craigenputtock. That autumn wit- nessed the marriage of Carlyle's youngest sister, the ' Craw,' to Mr. James Aitken. His youngest brother also married, but the good old mother remained on in the homestead, loved and honoured to the end of her days. We must quote a few lines of the letter Carlyle wrote the intending bridegroom, to contrast its suggestions with the course actually followed by Carlyle himself in the matter of Mrs. Welsh; not his own mother, certainly, but the mother 140 EARLY MARRIED LIFE of his wife. Remonstrating against what he thought James's haste to marry, he says: — I understand what wonderful felicities young men like you expect from marriage; I know, too (for it is a truth as old as the world), that such expectations hold out but for a little while, I shall rejoice much (such is my experience of the world) if in your new situation you feel as happy as in the old; say nothing of happier. But, in any case, do I not know that you will never (whatever happens) venture on any such solemn engagement with a direct duty to fly in the face of? — the duty, namely, of doing to your dear mother and your dear sisters as you would wish that they should do to you. . . . These undoubtedly sincere expressions point inexorably to the conclusion that Carlyle, like many of us, was absolutely blind at times to his own actions, while so clear-sighted in respect of the duties of others in similar situations. And there is something almost pathetic in this eclipse of judgment. That winter seems to have been unusually severe — Carlyle speaks of the ' winter grimness and winter seclusion,' and says, ' nothing could exceed the violence of the December weather.' The year 1834 opened discouragingly, Jeffrey had written of late in a ' frosty ' tone. The Lord Advocate genu- inely wished to help Carlyle to a professorship, and two such had offered themselves, either of which Carlyle believed Jeffrey could have procured for him. But this was not so, and there was inevitable misunderstanding between the two men, who each resented what appeared coldness and almost ingratitude in the other. Mrs. Carlyle was in no mood to quarrel with her friend, and had given Jeffrey ' a soft answer.' Jeffrey, in return, had cordially asked the Carlyles to visit him at Craigcrook; but a harsh expression of candid opinion on the Advocate's part to Carlyle, chilled and checked any real friendship between the two, so unlike in mental and moral characteristics. The final idea of leaving Craigenputtock for London was taking shape rapidly at this time, and soon was a determina- A PA THY 141 tion. It is amusing to find Carlyle writing to his brother John of bolting out of * all these sooty despicabilities .... lying draggle-tails of byre-women, and peat-moss and isola- tion, and exasperation and confusion.' If this was his view, what must have been that of Mrs. Carlyle ? She adds a P. S, to this same letter, which is of ominous significance. Here is a new prospect (she writes) opened up to us with a vengeance ! Am I frightened ? Not a bit, I almost wish that I felt more anxiety about our future; for this composure is not courage, but diseased indifference. There is a sort of incrustation about the inward me, that renders it alike insensible to fear and to hope. ... It seems as if the problem of living would be immensely simplified to me if I had health. It does require such an effort to keep oneself from growing quite wicked, while that weary weaver's shuttle is plying between my temples ! We feel that already the brave woman had lost much of her slender stock of health, and was but ill-equipped for future unknown storms and exigencies. And now came the winding-up of affairs at Craigen- puttock, two months of what the French call de'me'nagement. While friends in London looked out for suitable houses for the Carlyles, who had an idea that in London, as in Edinburgh and Scotland generally, houses could only be let at the Whitsuntide or Martinmas term, Carlyle, unable to bear the uncertainty, rushed off to London to see about a house himself, leaving his wife to pack and arrange, and to join him in town when the new habitation should have been decided on. Thus the exile on the Dunscore moors was practically at an end. What had it left behind ? To Mrs, Carlyle remained an undermining of physical strength, a failing of many a bright hope. Contact with the almost pessimistic views of Carlyle had shaken much of the simple faith in which Mrs, Carlyle had been brought up. Yet she could not embrace the negative views in which some men, but fewer women, 142 EARLY MARRIED LIFE find satisfaction. A dull apathy began to overspread her keen spirit, and the efforts that she made were now felt to be efforts, and lacked the sweet spontaneity of earlier days. She could not accustom herself to a loneliness for which her past had ill-prepared her. She needed a brother's tender- ness to tide her over the rough places, and a man's consider- ation and tenderness to give her courage to go forth and face the unknown and the untried world before her. As Mr. Froude says: ' Carlyle himself recognised occasionally that she was not happy.' But that was not enough ! Such glimpses of so sad a truth did not avail towards removing the causes and conditions of the unhappiness. The recognition of the pain was transient, the pain itself permanent. With Mrs. Carlyle, the keen knowledge of the suffering of others was constant, and ever woke her to kindly deeds. One of the touching records of life at Craigenputtock tells of her gentle ministrations to ' old Esther,' which took place early in the Carlyles' stay on the moors. Carlyle says: — Poor old Esther sank to bed — death-bed, as my Jane, who had a quick and sure eye in these things, well judged it would be. Sickness did not last above ten days: my poor wife, zealously assiduous, and with a minimum of fuss and noise. I remember those few poor days so full of human interest to her, and through her to me, and of a human pity, not painful, but sweet and genuine. She went walking every morning, especially every night, to arrange the poor bed, &:c. . . . It was the impulse of a kind and tender heart towards the poor old creature, who would rest the softer and the sweeter for it. The instances are numerous, and we probably shall never know half of them, in which both Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle befriended and solaced those in heavy need. But they did it quietly, unostentatiously, without drums and trumpets, and without even telling each other at times, and their liberal actions ceased only with their breath. The special failure of the marriage prospect, as felt by Mrs. Carlyle, was not poverty; not forced retirement from the MUTUAL MISUNDERSTANDING 1 43 world; not a want of affection on Carlyle's part. It was the total loss of that close intellectual companionship of which she had so confidently dreamed, and for which she was so unusually fitted. Mere love and passion she had thought transitory and unfruitful; the thorn had pierced her hand in leaning on these. But in Carlyle she saw a man whose qualities would last and ripen to giant stature. Here, she thought, was no illusion, and she justly felt herself his mate. Carlyle, too, thought perhaps, ' Here is a woman unlike others, one who can value me for what I am, love the things I love, be contented with what shall content me, and, above all, spread around me a soft domestic calm, in which my spirit may wrestle undisturbed by the pettiness and friction of daily life.' A natural thought perhaps, this, but events did not justify the hopeful forecast. The position was impracticable. Each married partner remained lonely, but with an intensity of loneliness of which they had separately never dreamed, and the years at Craigen- puttock left Mrs. Carlyle with only the fixed determination of doing all she could for her husband's comfort, of provid- ing to her utmost power for his physical well-being, as she always nobly did. Things being as they were, could love do more ? It was always soqj,g^ing for him that sufficed her. Had he but shown sign of recognition, had he manifested some of the ' small sweet courtesies of life,' all had been well. But Carlyle could not shov/ such signs. Brought up in a family where demonstration and caresses were almost unknown, he was absolutely incapable of adding the vital in- gredient of personal tenderness to the life so closely linked with his own, unless, indeed, when parted from his wife, he wrote letters of truest love and regard; telling of those depths within him which found no vent in actual intercourse with the one he loved so well. When they were together, it never occurred to hirii to show these feelings, and thus his sensitive and highly-strung wife, who passionately longed for 144 EARLY MARRIED LIFE notice, with that in-born longing which is the very root of some women's natures, was left constantly unsatisfied. The leaving of Craigenputtock offered, at least, an escape from the pressing personal loneliness under which she suffered. It recommended itself to Mrs. Carlyleasa measure favourable to her husband's literary prospects, and she be- lieved in him with genuine wifely pride. It also promised some improvement in the way of congenial friends, sorely needed by them both. The experiment was to be tried. Carlyle went first, on May 19, 1834, taking up his old quarters in Ampton Street, and Mrs. Carlyle followed by steamer from Annan and coach from Liverpool, arriving on June 10 at the house, 5 Cheyne Row, Chelsea, where the remainder of their life was to be passed. Carlyle, writing at the time to his brother, says: — A hackney coach, loaded to the roof and beyond it with lug- gage and the passengers, tumbled us all down here at eleven in the morning. By all, I mean my dame and myself, Bessy Barnet (the servant), who had come the night before, and little Chico, the canary bird, who, nmlttim jactaiics, did nevertheless arrive living and well from Puttock, and even sang violently all the way by sea and land, nay ! struck up his lilt in the very London streets, whenever he could see green leaves and feel the free air. . . . So the new life began with the cheer of a bird's song, and in the quiet precincts of the densely-populated vast city the new order of things was now fairly inaugurated. PART III LIFE IN LONDON CHAPTER XVI A. D. I 834-1 836 The new, yet old life — Unalterable conditions — The removal to Lon- don — Leigh Hunt — John Stuart Mill — Allan Cunningham — The circle of friends — Edward Irving's visit — George Rennie and his sister — Eliza Miles — Burning of the MS. of Vol. L of ' French Revolution' — Wifely sympathy — 'The Sterlings' — Sprinklings of foreigners — Domestic difficulties — Visit of Mrs. Welsh — Maternal counsels from Scotsbrig — Godefroi de Cavaignac. And now the experiment of living in London was really to be tried, and the Carlyles took possession of their roomy house in Cheyne Row, with their 'romantic maid,' Bessy Barnet. The removal was soon accomplished, the few days of ' quasi-camp-life ' were soon over, all too soon perhaps, and the ' settling-down ' began, much harder to bear for Mrs. Carlyle, weary as she was, for now the old realities came in, also, with their fixed and inexorable shapes. The frequent visits of the gentle and cheerful Leigh Hunt were among the earliest welcomes. John Stuart Mill, too, would often come and discuss Carlyle* s great subject with him, namely, * The French Revolution,' with the first stormy conceptions of which he was now grappling. Allan Cunning- ham, with his fine, picturesque figure and unmistakable Scottish tongue, would ' drop in' of an evening, bringing, as it were, a veritable breath from the moors into that city drawing-room. Such visits as his must have ministered some- what to that deep, unquenchable love of Scotland and the old days, which lay so close to Mrs. Carlyle's heart. Mrs. H5 X I 46 LIFE IN LONDON Austin and Mrs. Buller kept up a kindly intercourse with Mrs. Carlyle, but the passionate attachment to her old home clung to her, to the very end, saddening, yet sustaining. Meantime the demonstrations of this tender nature grew sharp and cold, as was inevitable. Take a mountain stream, cut a channel for it, straight and even, and turn it into that, and the water will flow, it is true, but you must not expect the wild tangle of flowers, and rushes, and grasses, nor the nameless charm of nature. Novelty, gaiety, and some hopefulness may have marked these early days in Chelsea, but nothing more. Mrs. Carlyle's impressions of the London ladies whom she knew were not altogether flattering. She acknowledges thinking, 'with a chastened vanity,' of the difference between the Scotch and the English housewives, of the superiority of Scotch thrift over the English careless way of managing, and points her moral by instances of Mrs. Leigh Hunt's unbelievable 'bor- rowings ' to meet daily needs. It was in November of this year that Edward Irving made his one call on these old friends, but a few weeks before his own death. He had ridden to Cheyne Row, his strength fast failing him, and Carlyle briefly describes his visit. There was his old love, her thorny path not mercifully shortened as his was to be. Perhaps he still saw in her what others now failed to see — the gay,brightgirl of those old Haddington days. He looked round the room, 'Ah, yes,* he said, ' you are like an Eve: make every place you live in beautiful !' And so she did. And here this tall, gaunt figure of the noble, pure- minded Edward Irving vanishes from these pages. No men- tion of his name occurs in the letters of Mrs. Carlyle written about the time of the visit. The cold weather is complained of in a letter to old Mrs. Carlyle, but two friends are spoken of as living quite near, ' a brother and sister, the most intimate friends I ever had in East Lothian,' says Mrs. Carlyle. This must have been a redeeming circumstance; for the brother was George Rennie, INHERITED TENDENCIES 1 47 then a sculptor, and afterwards member of Parliament, of whom we shall have more to say in the later days. Eliza Miles,too, the daughter of the Ampton Street landlady, kept up her loving devotion to Mrs. Carlyle, and gave cheer and attachment. Still Carlyle himself did not seem to have gained much in those early times, meeting little favour from editors who had tried him, and receiving a wide berth from those who did not wish to engage him. And this told on the home atmos- phere, causing clouds and convulsions, not to be done away with by the rapid opening up of social opportunities. The great dinners to which the Carlyles were now in- vited, gave but scanty satisfaction to either of them. In February 1835, in a postscript to Carlyle's letter to Dr. John Carlyle, his brother, Mrs. Carlyle writes: 'Dearest of created doctors. ... I went the other day, distracted that I was, to a great, modern, fashionable, horrible dinner. . . . There was huge venison to be eaten, and new service of plate to be displayed; Mrs. talked about the Aarts (arts) — and the great Sir John R favoured us with " idears " on the Peel Administration. . . .' We cannot help thinking that the gipsy blood which undoubtedly ran in Mrs. Carlyle's veins was answerable for much of her wandering spirit and impatience with social amenities and town life. There seemed in her a sort of silent rebellion against many trifling restraints and limitations, and we are not alone in this opinion of her. Dr. Alex. H. Japp, author of a very admirable brief sketch of Mrs. Carlyle in * True and Noble Women,* touching on this particular point, thinks, that much of the fate of this remarkable woman's life lay in that strain of gipsy blood, combined, as it was, with undoubted genius and altogether unusual circumstances. She was certainly a ' Baillie ' and not a 'Welsh' in her character and disposition, and those who study the strange laws of heredity, may see more deeply into the matter than we ourselves can pretend to do. Certain it is that the gods did not smile propitiously on the pair at Cheyne Row. 148 LIFE IN LONDON The catastrophe of the burning of the manuscript of the completed first volume of ' The French Revolution,' was more than an ordinary misfortune. This nervous, highly wrought man, Carlyle, saw in a moment the hard brain-work of many months irretrievably torn from him and annihilated. It is an old story how, on March 6, 1835, John Stuart Mill was ushered in, deadly pale and tottering" with fear. A care- less housemaid had lighted her fires with the all-precious manuscript, entrusted to Mill for a first reading. The thing was hopeless, and, as Carlyle says in the ' Reminiscences,' It was like half-sentence of death to us both, and we had to pretend to take it lightly, so dismal and ghastly was his horror at it: and try to talk of other matters. He stayed three mortal hours or so: his departure quite a relief to us. Oh, the burst of sympathy my poor darling then gave me, flinging her arms round my neck and openly lamenting, condoling, and encouraging like a nobler second self. And again, when the pen was taken up, such reparation made by the generous Mill as Carlyle would accept, and the book at length finished, he speaks of going forth to walk in the evening * with her dear blessing upon me.' This great trouble certainly drew the two nearer together, though it wrung from Carlyle the bitter cry: <0h ! that I had faith ! Oh ! that I had ! ' It was in May of 1835 that Mrs. Carlyle, writing to her mother-in-law of an interview * with an old rejected lover,' whose attachment and thousatids had had no effect on her, says: *I continue quite content with my bargain.' She adds: * I could wish him a little less yellow and a little xi\ox^ peace- able, but that is all.' The memorable friendship with the Sterlings began in this summer of 1835, and in the first letter printed in the collec- tion of Mrs. Carlyle's correspondence, as addressed to John Sterling, is a singularly frank manifestation of one of her eminently womanly characteristics, betraying one of the in- tangible causes of her undoubted lack of happiness; we mean A IV A KENING 1 49 that longing for notice and approbation and appreciation which underlay all her daring and spirited ways. She speaks to this new-made friend of her honest efforts to annihilate her lety or Ego, or merge it in what the world doubtless con- sidered her ' better half,' and she laments that she still finds herself 'a very self- subsisting, and, alas! self-seeking nie.' It was this craving which was more or less starved in her mar- riage, and which was at the root of much of the bitter railing, in which she undoubtedly indulged at times, against the seem- ing insensibility of a husband, who yet thought her peerless among women and ever held her to be so. In time she learned to scoff at demonstration of every kind, in her anguish of loneliness, but this sense of isolation was only now truly waking up; not in the solitudes of Craigenputtock, where she felt, at least, that all she did was for her husband, but in this wider world, where understanding and sympathy came to her in every form, came even dangerously near at times. Then she began to look into her own life with different eyes. Old Mrs. Sterling and her husband were frequent visitors now, as well as the younger branches of the family, — Henry Taylor, the Wilsons, Rev. F. D. Maurice, James Spedding, and many others, with what Carlyle vaguely calls, * sprinklings of foreigners;' amongst whom, by-and-by, were the never-to- be-forgotten Mazzini, and Godefroi Cavaignac, brother to General Cavaignac, a singularly attractive and noble man, de- scribed by Carlyle as < A fine Bayard soul, with figure to cor- respond.' The friendship between him and Mrs. Carlyle was a deep one — how could it be otherwise ? — his gentle breeding and refined courtesy ministered to her natural tendencies. It was not, however, till some years after the Carlyles came to Cheyne Row that the aquaintance was made, and death soon ended it — about 1846 we believe. But we must return to 1835, when the first mention of those endless and inexplicable domestic difficulties at Cheyne Row occurs in a letter from Mrs. Carlyle to Miss Hunter of Edmonton. Here Mrs. Carlyle speaks of that 'valley ofths 1 5 O LIFE IN L OND ON shadow of char- woman,' which entered so largely into her very uncomfortable menage during succeeding years, and coupled with it, is an allusion to one of the terrible nervous headaches to which she was now too often subject. A mystery would attach to these unending household dis- comforts, were we to forget that the highly-wrought imagina- tion and cruelly overstrained nervous system of the sufferer partly created, and distinctly, though ail-unconsciously, ex- aggerated, many of them; and this was the state of things to the very end, and must be borne in mind, by no means to the exclusion of thorough sympathy that such things should be so heavy a cause of suffering, nor with an incredulity as to their being recounted exactly as they appeared to Mrs. Carlyle herself. When Carlyle speaks of these domestic troubles, after his wife's death, with praise of her reticence in not irritating him with them, and speaks of 'results quasi-perfect,' we must remember that these words were written when all was quiet for ever, and that, as a fact, there was by no means even a 'quasi-perfect' calm in that small household during many long years — however the retrospect showed the matter forth. Writing to her sister-in-law in August of this same year, Mrs. Carlyle was joyful in anticipation of a visit from her mother, and in tune with many of her surroundings. ' The people here,' she writes, ' are extravagantly kind to me,' — and speaking of the conclusion of the 'French Revolution,' or rather of the ' second first volume,' she says: 'Then we shall sing a Te Detini and get drunk.' She also recounts the names of pleasant new acquaintances: the Rev. Mr. Dunn, an Irish clergyman who had ' refused two bishopricks in the course of his life, for conscience' sake,' and sundry delightful Italian exiles, not forgetting her old lover and countryman, George Rennie. There was a gleam of sunshine in this letter, shadowed over, as most things were for her, by six weeks of continual illness following immediately, ending in a short visit to her INCOME A TIB I LI TY OF TEMPER i 5 I kind friends, the Sterlings (Mrs. Sterling's brother): 'a per- fect Paradise of a place, peopled, as every Paradise ought to be, with angels.' But she fell ill again the very day after her return, and admitted that, neither 'man nor woman lives by bread alone, nor warm milk, nor any of these things.' But her mother was now with her, and Carlyle on the eve of his departure for Scotland. During this absence of his, the mother and daughter were together, in the varying and unequal happiness of two natures that did not respond har- moniously the one to the other. It was during the latter part of this visit, probably after Carlyle's return, that a small evening party was given by Mrs. Carlyle, when Mrs. Welsh had placed more wax lights on the supper table than her thrifty daughter approved, with other arrangements thought extravagant by Mrs. Carlyle, who made alterations and took away two of the candles. Accord- ing to Miss Jewsbury's account, who had it from Mrs. Carlyle, the mother was much hurt, and shed tears over the matter ; and in her remorse for having pained that dearly loved mother, Mrs. Carlyle put away the candles with instructions that when she herself should lie in death, they were to be lighted and burned, all of which most sadly came to pass in time. We cannot wonder that Carlyle should say in a letter to his brother John, written during Mrs. Welsh's second visit to Cheyne Row: 'Quiet observation forces on me the conclu- sion that Jane and her mother cannot live together.' Mr. Froude says: ' They loved each other dearly, even passionately. They quarrelled daily and made it up again.' The two excitable women could not jog on together in the common-place * hum-drum ' of much happier and simpler natures. Mrs. Carlyle learned Italian and accomplished numberless useful and elegant tasks. Carlyle, in his con- tentment with his mother, looked perhaps with a certain feel- ing of anxious dismay on the domestic life awaiting him in Cheyne Row, where that too eager, broken spirit was still chafing at the inevitable. The servant-trouble constantly 152 LIFE IN LONDON haunted her, and Carlyle was looking out for a suitable girl and thought he had found one. To his description of the servant, his wife replied: 'Fetch her then, in God's name, and I will make the best I can of her: after all, we fret our- selves too much about little things; much that might be laughed off, if one were well and cheerful^ (The italics are our own.) It was on October 26, 1835, that Mrs. Carlyle penned the pretty letter, half in her newly learned Italian, to her husband at Scotsbrig, beginning — * Caro e rispettabile il mio Marito ' — and we feel that his response on November 2 must have struck coldly on that warm spirit, when he says, in reply to her graceful badinage, ' And thou, my poor Goody, depend- ing on cheerful looks of mine for thy cheerfulness ! For God's sake do not, or do as little as possible,' but in the same letter he says: 'My poor Goody. It seems as if she could so easily be happy, and the easy means are so seldom there.' And again in the same letter he adds a few tender words in German, entreating her not to quarrel with her mother, remind- ing how soon the visit will be over, and he ends with: * God bless thee, my poor little darling; I think we shall be happier some time.' The holiday ended, Mrs. Welsh went to her brother in Liverpool, Carlyle returned, and still happiness held aloof. Sad letters mark the coming on of that winter of 1835. Carlyle felt * sick of soul,' and wrote in the pages of his Jour- nal on December 23: 'Be silent, be calm, at least not mad;' and Mrs. Carlyle, on the same day, writing to the good old mother at Scotsbrig, speaks bitterly of her suffering health, of the blood all frozen in her brains, and her brains turned to a solid mass of ice. Her vitality failed her, and, but for the kindness of friends, notably Mrs. Sterling, Count Pepoli, and others, she would have lost heart. Meantime the mother at Scotsbrig was carefully writing her pious exhortations to her son Thomas, whose lot she must have felt was not all of roses, telling him in quaint AN- INTERESTING REPUBLICAN I53 phrase to 'wait on the Lord and be strong.' That was all very well, but the worldly prospect was pressingly discour- aging, and as the true obstacle to literary success lay in Carlyle'sown strange and impracticable nature, the hope grew faint and ever fainter that this great genius would accept the conditions which could alone promise prosperity. Patronage was intolerable to him, and a situation that was offered him by his good friend Basil Montagu — a situation which would have provided a sure and sufficient income, whilst allow- ing him ample time for his own literary labours — was re- jected as an injury. Thus the year 1836 found matters far from cheerful at 5 Cheyne Row. It was in April of that year that Mrs. Carlyle, writing to her cousin Helen Welsh, of Liverpool, describes her husband as 'anything but well, nor likely to be better, until he have finished his " French Revolution," ' and adds, with a caustic touch, 'I myself have been abominably, though not writing, so far as I know, for the press.' Worse days were at hand, however; for, soon after this date, Mrs. Carlyle became extremely ill, and felt that, ' unless sho could get out of London, she would surely die.' As Mr. Froude tells us, she fled to Scotland, to her mother, who met her at Dumfries with embraces and tears, and took her on to Templand, where love and care were with her. But she remained the victim of sleeplessness, cough, and headache, and after two months' trial, despairing of everything here below she returned to Cheyne Row in August, ' a sadder and a wiser woman' as she herself said, to find recovered health at home. It was during the freshness of these new feelings that Mrs. Carlyle mentions Godefroi de Cavaignac, of whom we have already spoken. It was the dead season in London, but this French Republican was in town, and was often in Cheyne Row. Mrs. Carlyle speaks of him as 'one who has had the glory of meriting to be imprisoned and nearly losing his head: a man with that sort of dark, half-savage beauty with which one paints a fallen angel . . . who defies all men and honours all women, and whose name is Cavaignac' 154 ^^^^ ^^^ LONDON CHAPTER XVII A. D, 1836— 1840 Retrospect on the Scotch journey — Return to Chelsea — Mrs. Carlyle's letter to Sterling — Carlyle's supposed ' lady admirers ' — The lec- tures — Success and congratulations — Second visit of Mrs. Welsh — Flight of Carlyle into Annandale— ' The bird and the watch' — Regrets and ill-health of Mrs. Carlyle — Cheque from Emerson, being proceeds of ' French Revolution ' — John Sterling's health — Reflections thereon — Carlyle again in Scotland — Letter to John Forster : ' Why do women marry ?' — The ' Lion's wife ! ' The journey to Scotland had been a mistake; and no wonder. * Caelum non animam mutant ' — change of place could do little for Mrs. Carlyle. We go back to quote a few words written to her by Carlyle during her absence: — 'No rest for the poor wearied one ! In her mother's house, too, she must wake "at four in the morning," and have fretting and annoyances ! . . , The world is so wide. And for my poor Jane, no place where she can find shelter in it ! . . , Oh, my poor lassie, what a life thou hast led ! and I could not make it other. It was to be that and not another.' And again, on August 24, he wrote: — 'Oh, my poor bairn, be not faithless, but believing ! Do not fling away life as insupportable, despicable; but let us work it out and rest it out together, like a true two, though under some obstruc- tions.' Here the "difficulty of Mrs. Carlyle's life is laid bare. It was not as tivo, but as 07ie, that his wife wished to live with him, and no tender words in letters could alter that inevitable sorrow. The pain that was given was truly such as can only exist where love exists, in some shape. But two faithful, INEXORABLE CONDITIONS I55 loyal natures, learning, side by side, yet in loneliness, to compass the hard struggle of life ; two individuals bound together, yet unable to share completely the scarce compre- hended burden; two human souls painfully moulded by adverse conditions to the god-like form destined for them — these images touch our imagination with reverence and pity: but the condition described hardly fits our ideal of marriage. ' Happy,' says Renan, < are the children who only sleep and dream!' Of these two remarkable natures one awoke too early and too fully to sharp realities, and the other, in some senses, awoke too late. To Mrs. Carlyle the awakening was a stern one. The * wind was not tempered ' to her sensitive nature. Her keen pain caused bitterness and caustic speech; which truly returns so often with added sharpness into the heart of the speaker. Then that insepa- rable companion, the body, added its ceaseless sufferings to the incurable mental ones, and she began that long course of languishing, so sad to read of, so almost impossible to bear. Yet it was borne ! She could only turn to one quarter and another for a brief respite, and was glad to return to Chelsea, with a vague hope of some alleviation. And, after all, it was home she was hastening back to, with a quickened sense of possibilities of some comfort and rest therein. It is pretty to note how she saw Carlyle trying to join her in the Chelsea omnibus, * his face, beautifully set off by a broad-brimmed white hat, gazing in at the door like the Peri, who 'At the Gate of Heaven stood disconsolate.' He had recognized her trunk, < one of the most indubitable marks of genius,' she adds, 'which he ever manifested,' and thus hastened to shorten the time of separation. The trouble seemed to be that when re-united, so little heart-happiness attended the pair who wrote with so much affection to each other, who reallyy>//itwhen absence removed the inexorable difficulties of personal contact. 156 LIFE IN L OND ON In February 1837, writing to John Sterling, then in Bordeaux, Mrs. Carlyle strangely illustrates this. Apologis- ing for long silence, she says : — * It has proceeded from some "crook in the lot," and not in the mind.' In the same letter, after pleading that she has become * too sick and dispirited ' for letter-writing, she announces the conclusion of the ' French Revolution,' adding : — * Quelle vie ! let no woman who values peace of soul ever dream of marrying an author.' But the next lines show an admirably womanly jealousy of allCarlyle's supposed ladyadmirers — from Harriet Martineau, who * presents him with her ear-trumpet with a pretty blushing air of coquetry' — to other lesser lights and attractions. The lectures on German literature which were arranged for the month of May furnished Mrs. Carlyle with a fruitful topic. ' The exhibition,' as she terms it, caused her no little anxiety, and she looked to his following up the effort by a long holiday in Scotland, 'to rest himself,' adding : — ' For my part, having neither published nor lectured, I feel no call to refresh myself. . . .' The lectures were a great success, though Carlyle pitied himself: — 'Agitated, terrified, driven desperate and furious ' (to use his own words), the financial result was satisfactory, and the enterprise, to any other than Carlyle, was a matter of congratulation. A second visit from Mrs. Welsh marked the close of the lectures, and Carlyle's own departure for Annandale, in his blind desire for 'Silence ! silence ! ' The graceful and clever dialogue of ' The Bird and^the Watch ' was written for John Sterling about this time, with the pathetic ' Remonstrance of my old Watch ' — each needless to give here but for their remarkable brilliancy, and the light they cast on the character and powers of the writer. Much can be read * between the lines.' We extract them from 'Letters and Memorials:' — A CANAR Y 'S PHILOSOPHY 1 5 7 To the Rev. John Sterlmg, Blackheath. Chelsea: Sept.-Oct. , 1837. My dear Friend, — Being a sending of more dialogue, it were downright extravagance to send a letter as well. So I shall merely say (your father being sitting impatiently beating with his stick) that you are on no account to understand that by either of these dialogians I mean to shadow forth my own personality. I think it is not superfluous to give you this warning, because I remember you talked of Chico's philosophy of life as my philos- ophy of life, which was a horrible calumny. You can fancy how one must be hurried when your father is in the case. God bless you Always yours, Jane W. Carlyle. Dialogue, The Bird and the Watch. Watch. ' Chirp, chirp, chirp ; ' what a weariness thou art with thy chirping ! Does it never occur to thee, frivolous thing, that life is too short for being chirped away at this rate .'' Bird. Never. I am no philosopher, but just a plain canary- bird. Watch. At all events, thou art a creature of time that hast been hatched, and that will surely die. And, such being the case, methinks thou art imperatively called upon to think more and to chirp less. Bz'rd. I ' called upon to think ! ' How do you make that out? Will you be kind enough to specify how my condition would be improved by thought ? Could thought procure me one grain of seed or one drop of water beyond what my mistress is pleased to give? Could it procure me one eighth of an inch, one hair's- breadth more room to move about in, or could it procure me to be hatched over again with better auspices, in fair green wood beneath the blue free sky ? I imagine not. Certainly I never yet betook myself to thinking instead of singing, that I did not end in dashing wildly against the wires of my cage, with sure loss of feathers and at the peril of limb and life. No, no. Madam Gravity, in this very conditional world, depend upon it, 158 LIFE IN LONDON he that thinks least will live the longest, and song is better than sense for carrying one handsomely along. Watch. You confess, then, without a blush, that you have no other aim in existence than to kill time ? Bird. Just so. If I were not always a killing of time, time, I can tell you, would speedily kill me. Heigh ho ! I wish you had not interrupted me in my singing. Watch. Thou sighest, ' Chico ; ' there is a drop of bitterness at the bottom of this froth of levity. Confess the truth : thou art not without compunction as to thy course of life. Bird. Indeed, but I am, though. It is for the Power that made me and placed me here to feel compunction, if any is to be felt. For me, I do but fulfil my destiny: in the appointing of it, I had no hand. It was with no consent of mine that I ever was hatched; for the blind instinct that led me to chip the shell, and so exchange my natural prison for one made with hands, can hardly be imputed to me as an act of volition; it was with no consent of mine that I was fated to live and move within the wires of a cage, where a fractured skull and broken wings are the result of all endeavour towards the blue infinite, nor yet was it with consent of mine that I was made to depend for subsist- ence, not on my own faculties and exertions, but on the bounty of a fickle mistress, who starves me at one time and sur- feits me at another. Deeply from my inmost soul I have protested, and do and will protest against all this. If, then, the chirping with which I stave off sorrow and e)i7iui be an offence to the would-be-wise, it is not I but Providence should bear the blame, having placed me in a condition where there is no alternative but to chirp or die, and at the same time made self- preservation the first instinct of all living things. Watch. ' Unhappy Chico ! not in thy circumstances, but in thyself lies the mean impediment over which thou canst not gain the mastery.'* The lot thou complainest of so petulantly is, with slight variation, the lot of all. Thou are not free? Tell me who is ! Alas, my bird I Here sit prisoners ; there also do prisoners sit. This world is all prison, the only difference for those who inhabit it being in the size and aspect of the cells ; while some of these stand revealed in cold strong nakedness for * Goethe's WUhelm Meisier, WISE COUNSELS 159 what they really are, others are painted to look like sky over- head, and open country all around, but the bare and the painted walls are alike impassable, and fall away only at the coming of the Angel of Death. Bird. With all due reverence for thy universal insight, picked up Heaven knows how, in spending thy days at the bottom of a dark fob, I must continue to think that the birds. of the air, for example, are tolerably free; at least, they lead a stirring pleasur- able sort of life, which may well be called freedom in comparison with this of mine. Oh that, like them, I might skim the azure and hop among the boughs; that, like them, I might have a nest I could call my own, and a wife of my own choosing, that I might fly away from the instant she wearied me ! Would that the egg I was hatched from had been addled, or that I had perished while yet unfledged! I am weary of my life, especially since thou hast constituted thyself my spiritual adviser. Ay de mi ! But enough of this; it shall never be told that I died the death of Jenkin's hen. ' Chico, point de faiblcsse ! ' IVaic/i. It were more like a Christian to say, ' Heaven be my strength.' Bird. And pray what is a Christian ? I have seen poets, philosophers, politicians, bluestockings, philanthropists, all sorts of notable people about my mistress; but no Christian so far as I am aware. Watch. Bird! thy spiritual darkness exceeds belief. What can I say to thee ? I wish I could make thee wiser, better! Bird. If wishes were saws, I should request you to saw me a passage through those wires; but wishes being simply wishes, I desire to be let alone of them. Watch. Good counsel at least is not to be rejected, and I give the best, wouldst thou but lay it to heart. Look around thee, Chico — around and within. Ascertain, if thou canst, the main source of thy discontent, and towards the removal of that direct thy whole faculties and energies. Even should thy success prove incomplete, the very struggle will be productive of good. ' An evil,' says a great German thinker, ' ceases to be an evil from the moment in which we begin to combat it.' Is it what you call loss of liberty that flings the darkest shadow over your soul.? If so, you have only to take a correct and philosophical view of the l6o LIFE IN LONDON subject instead of a democratic sentimental one, and you will find, as other captives have done, that there is more real freedom within the walls of a prison than in the distracting tumult without. Ah, Chico, in pining for the pleasures and excitements which lie beyond these wires, take also into account the perils and hard- ships. Think what the bird of the air has to suffer from the weather, from boys and beasts, and even from other birds. Storms and snares and unknown woes beset it at every turn, from all which you have been mercifully delivered in being once for all cooped up here. Bird. There is one known woe, however, from which I have not been delivered in being cooped up here, and that is your ab- solute wisdom and impertinent interference, from which same I pray Heaven to take me with all convenient speed. If ever I attain to freedom, trust me, the very first use I shall make of it will be to fly where your solemn prosy tick shall not reach me any more for ever. Evil befall the hour when my mistress and your master took it into their heads to ' swear eternal friendship,' and so occasion a juxtaposition betwixt us two which nature could never have meant. Watch. My ' master ? ' Thou imbecile. I own no master; rather am I his mistress, of whom thou speakest. Nothing can he do without appealing to me as to a second better conscience, and it is I who decide for him when he is incapable of deciding for himself. I say to him, ' It is time to go,' and he goeth; or, • There is time to stay,' and he stayeth. Hardly is he awake of a morning when I tick authoritatively into his ear, ' Leves-vous, monsieur ! Vous avez de grajides cJioses a /aire; ' * and forth- with he gathers himself together to enjoy the light of a new day — if no better may be. And is not every triumph he ever gained over natural indolence to be attributed to my often repeated remonstrance, ' Work, for the night cometh ? ' Ay, and when the night is come, and he lays himself down, I take my place at his bed-head, and, like the tenderest nurse, tick him to repose. Bird. And suppose he neglected to wind thee up, or that thy main-spring chanced to snap? What would follow then? Would the world stand still in consequence ? Would thy master * St. Simon (he of 1825, n. b. 1). A FAITHFUL COMPANION l6l — for such he is to all intents and purposes — lie for ever in bed expecting thy ' Levez-voits ? ' Would there be nothing in the wide universe besides thee to tell him what o'clock it was ? Impudent piece of mechanism ! Thing of springs and wheels, in which flows no life-blood, beats no heart! Depend upon it, for all so much as thou thinkest of thyself, thou couldst be done without. // ny a point de inotttre necessairc ! The artisan who made thee with files and pincers could make a thousand of thee to order. Cease, then, to deem thyself a fit critic and lawgiver for any living soul. Complete of thy kind, tick on, with infallible accuracy, sixty ticks to the minute, through all eternity if thou wilt and canst; but do not expect such as have hearts in their breasts to keep time with thee. A heart is a spontaneous, impulsive thing, which cannot, I would have thee know, be made to beat always at one measured rate for the good pleasure of any time-piece that ever was put together. And so good day to thee, for here comes one who, thank Heaven, will put thee into his fob, and so end our tete-a-tete. Watch. (With a sigh.) ' The living on earth have much to bear I ' ' J. W. C. (Mrs. Carlyle haa evidently contemplated providing herself with a new watch; her own, which had been her mother's, getting rather venerable, and perhaps not keeping such good time.) Remonstrance of my Old Watch. What have I done to you, that you should dream of ' tearing out my inside ' and selling me away for an old song ? Is your heart become hard as the nether millstone, that you overlook long familiarity and faithful service, to take up with the new-fangled gimcracks of the day ? Did I ever play thee false ? I have been driven with you, been galloped with you, over the roughest roads; have been jolted as never watch was; and all this without ' stick- ing up ' a single time, or so much as lagging behind! Nay, once I remember (the devil surely possessed you at that moment ! ) you pitched me out of your hand as though I had been a worthless pin-cushion; and even that unprecedented shock I sustained with iO^ LIFE IN LONDOI^ unshaken nerves! Try any of your new favourites as you have tried me; send the little wretch you at present wear within your waist-band smack against a deal floor, and if ever it stirred more in this world, I should think it little less than a miracle. Bethink you, then, misguided woman, while it is yet time ! If not for my sake, for your own, do not complete your barbarous purpose. Let not a passing womanish fancy lead you from what has been the ruling principle of your life — a detestation of shams and humbug. For, believe me, these little watches are arrant shams, if ever there was one. They are not watches so much as lockets with watch-faces. The least rough handling puts them out of sorts; a jolt is fatal; they cost as much in repairs every year as their original price; and when they in their turn come to have their insides torn out, what have you left ? Hardly gold enough to make a good-sized thimble. But if you are deaf to all suggestions of common-sense, let sentiment plead for me in your breast. Remember how daintily you played with me in your childhood, deriving from my gold shine your first ideas of worldly splendour. Remember how, at a more advanced age, you longed for the possession of me and of a riding-habit and whip, as comprising all that was most desirable in life! And when at length your mother made me over to you, remember how feelingly (so feelingly that you shed tears) I brought home to your bosom the maxim of your favourite Goethe, ' The wished-for comes too late.' And oh! for the sake of all these touching remembrances, cast me not off, to be dealt with in that shocking manner; but if, through the caprice of fashion, I am deemed no longer fit to be seen, make me a little pouch inside your dress, and I am a much mistaken watch if you do not admit in the long run that my solid merit is far above that of any half- dozen of these lilliputian upstarts. And so, betwixt hope and fear, I remain, Your dreadfully agitated Watch, I find so much reason as well as pathos and natural eloquence in the above that I shall proceed no further with the proposed exchange. Jane. DISCOURAGING ACCOUNTS 163 The spring of 1838 found Carlyle miserable and restless, having as yet fallen on no new work; the domestic pressure was heavy, and Mrs. Carlyle speaks plainly of her own suffer- ing — reflected, in some measure, from the state of her hus- band's mind, though indeed health had long become an im- possibility to her. ' So much to bear, for a long, long time back ! ' she writes her cousin Helen at Liverpool. It was now the time when Carlyle was delivering the second course of lectures, and Mrs. Carlyle adds : If he could get sleep at nights, while the lecturing goes forward, and if I could look on without being perpetually re- minded by the pain in my head, or some devilry or other, that I am a mere woman ... we should find this new trade rather agreeable. ... A single woman (by your leave be it said) may be laid up, with comparative ease of mind; but in a country where a man is allowed only one wife, and needs that one for other purposes than mere show, it is a singular hardship for all parties. In August of this year Carlyle was in Kirkcaldy, and his wife wrote him poor accounts of her health. Sleep was be- ginning to forsake her — three hours one night, forty minutes the next, then none at all; showing a steady decline in the healthy nervous balance so desirable to maintain. Society did little to ameliorate Mrs. Carlyle's condition, and, though she speaks of ' tea-shines,' at one of which Mr. and Mrs. Crawford, George Rennie and his wife, Mrs. Sterling, Count Pepoli, Erasmus Darwin, and Robert Barker attended, the result was apparently mere weariness of spirit and body. The first money, sent in a bill of exchange by Emerson, that came in from an American edition of the ' French Revolution ' cheered her somewhat, though it brought ' a sort of tears ' into her eyes. Perhaps there were too many painful memories con- nected, for her, with that book. And now the good, gentle John Sterling was ordered off to Italy for his health, and came to take his leave. We note 164 J-If^ I^ LONDON that Mrs. Carlyle makes one of her rare exceptions in saying, ' He looked as Edward Irving used to do.' She had, then, marked the fading life and strength of that old and attached friend, though all in silence. But the passage, so pregnant with pathos, loses its effect when she adds: 'Woe to him, if he fall into the net of any beautiful Italian. People who are so dreadfully devoted to their wives are so apt, from mere habit, to get devoted to other people's wives as well.' These words may prove a key to much that happened later on. Meantime the spring of 1838, which found Carlyle busy preparing for his third course of lectures, had left Mrs. Carlyle weakened and shaken in mind and body. No in- fluence seemed able to lift her from the growing suffering of her condition and its hopeless outlook; while her husband was confiding to the pages of his journal that he is 'tortured to death,' and feeling he must rush away from all his sur- roundings ! ' Be still, wild weak heart,' he says, ' convulsively bursting up against the bars ! ' And surely Mrs. Carlyle might have said the same, though hers was an inarticulate cry for a long time yet; when at length it, too, struggled into expression. A natural question for ordinary people to ask, is, What was this crushing and deeply-felt grief in these two hearts ? And the answer, honest and disappointing as it is, must be, that the grief which can openly be spoken of is 7iot the un- bearable grief. So the sorrow of these isolated hearts must be held sacred. The close of Carlyle' s Scotch visit found his wife some- what improved, and soon an idea of Cromwell as a subject for his next work interested him, and Mill's suggestion, that he should write an article, developed into his great under- taking. Thus his uneasy spirit found some sort of repose in work. Jeffrey was still the kindest of friends, and joined the chorus of those who openly and heartily admired Carlyle's genius. Mrs. Carlyle, in a letter to her mother-in-law, had gaily 4 WHY WOMEN MARRY 1 65 hazarded the idea that she, too, was a genius as well as her husband. She had charmed noisy neighbors into quietude -^had done away with an obstreperous parrot whose shrieks had caused her husband to cry out that he * could neither think nor live,' and in a hundred ways had made the path smooth for him. It was not 'genius' she lacked. It was during the second course of lectures that Mrs. Carlyle had seen the widowed Mrs. Edward Irving sitting opposite to her, and spoke of the coincidence with true womanly tenderness. In July the Carlyles had been in Scotland, he with his people, she partly with her mother at Templand; but the un- favourable winter spent by Mrs. Carlyle, with her ' violent chronic cold, and fiercely torturing, nervous headache, con- tinuous sometimes for three days and nights,' was a gloomy preparation for the strain of home-life in Chelsea. Her ' little Fifeshire maid,' Kirkcaldy Helen, as Carlyle calls her, was no small solace to her in these suffering days. Writing to Mrs. Aitken she says: ' When I am very bad she bends over me in my bed as if I were a little child . . . one might think one's maid's tears could do little for a tearing headache, but they do comfort a little.' A significant passage, also given by Mr. Froude, occurs in a letter to John Forster, written about this date. ' Why do women marry?' she wrote; 'God knows, unless it be that, like the great Wallenstein, they do not find scope enough for their genius and qualities in an easy life.' It would, perhaps, not be easy for us to predict what would have been an easy life for one whose highly-strung nervous temperament would have required the physique of an ox to make ordinary life bearable and pleasant. Carlyle had been mixed up with an annoying trial by jury — ' a Manchester case of patents,' as he describes it in his note on the letter from which we are about to quote — and had been in * intolerable suffering, rage, almost despair, and resolution to quit London, in consequence of these jury-summonses,' and 1 66 LIFE IN LONDON it is in reference to this that Mrs. Carlyle writes to John Ster- ling in October 1840: — My poor man of genius had to sit on a jury two days, to the ruin of his whole being, physical, moral and intellectual. . . . While I, poverina, have been reacting against his reaction, till that malady called by the cockneys ' mental worry ' fairly took me by the throat, and threw me on my bed for a good many days. And now I am but recovering, white as the paper I write upon, and carrying my head as one who has been making a failed attempt at suicide. . . . The next special burden reported as dragging down Mrs. Carlyle's v/eakened frame, is dated by her husband as falling in the autumn of the same year, 1840, when, excusing her- self for seldom writing to her mother-in-law at Scotsbrig, she says: *I should be glad enough to write a letter now and then, just to keep the devil from my elbow,' and goes on to describe the downfall of the Fifeshire maidservant, from a giving way to intemperance. She says: 'I am really much attached to the poor wretch, who has no fault under heaven but this one.' The matter ended as was inevitable; but not till after a first, second, and third forgiveness and chance to do better had been granted. Carlyle, meantime, was ' reading voraciously ' in prepara- tion for his ' Cromwell,' and growling away in the old style, to which his wife professes a certain wholesome indifference. But indifference was not in her nature, helpful as it would often have been: and the year closed in more or less of disquiet. The bitter tone which made itself felt in later days, crops up in a letter written to her friend Susan Hunter, now Mrs. Sterling, by Mrs. Carlyle, in January 1841, in words which show how little real satisfaction or happiness came to her in her new sphere of life. Her character of ' Lion's Wife,' she says, gives her enough compulsory writing to disgust even a Duchess of Orleans: * applications from young ladies for autographs; passionate invitations to dine; an- IMPERFECT UNDERSTANDING 167 nouncements of inexpressible longing to drink tea with me.* All these were a weariness to her, and she began to look on the world with a cynical distrust of its favours, and perhaps many a secret longing after that old, quiet time, when she was herself the centre of her little world, loved and watched and petted. It was not her nature to play the part of 'Lion's Wife,' small blame to her ! It would have been almost impossible to find a man to whom she could have been second; but that man did exist, and she did marry him, and there entered into her a deep and suffering dissatisfaction, traceable in all she ever wrote to those she loved and trusted, and wholly uncomprehended by the one nearest to her. She was a woman, tender and excitable, and her burst of un- accountable tears over some trifling gift from John Sterling shows a spirit pent up and ready to come forth at a touch. But that touch, to bring peace, could only come from the one man in the world; and from him, spite of a faithful attach- ment, it did not come. What more severe ordeal to a woman such as Jane Carlyle than life with a husband who writes to his brother John in 1840 : ' The absence of ill-fare and semi-delirium is possible for me in solitude only. Solitude indeed is sad as Golgotha, but it is not mad like Bedlam.' That ' solitude ' was a term strictly applied, and meant an absolute severance from the close contact of domestic life, no less than a freedom from the galling fetters of society. Carlyle was, as Mr. Froude tells us, unable to keep his discomforts to himself, and passionately dilated on them to his wife, blindly unaware of her own heavy burden of pain, so that the time they spent together was often the hardest bit of all, and her keen disposition and sharp, caustic tongue made matters no better. There was no remedy. And when we find Carlyle writing in his journal in April 1840: ' If I were a little healthier — ah me ! all were well * — we feel that only one side of the question is touched upon, 1 68 LIFE IN LONDON CHAPTER XVIII A. D. I 841-1846 Trouble at Templand — Sudden Alarm — Summons too late — Mrs. Carlyle receives the news of her mother's death when on her way to nurse her — Carlyle goes to Templand to wind up the estate — Mrs. Welsh buried at Crawford — Heart-stricken letter to Mrs. Russell of Thornhill — Troston Rectory and the Bullers — Lady Harriet Baring — Mrs. Carlyle's return to Cheyne Row — First meeting with Miss Jewsbury and the Paulets — ' The three- cornered alliance ' — Household ' earthquaking ' in Cheyne Row — Mrs. Carlyle's first expressed judgment of Lady Harriet Baring — Stay at Ryde — Father Mathew — Loss of Strength — Need of a quite place for Carlyle to write in — Failure of the attempt — Let- ter to John Welsh of Liverpool — Carlyle's hopefulness of his wife's health — Her visit to Liverpool and Seaforth (the Paulets) — Visit to the Grange — Painful thoughts — ' Cromwell' concluded. There is little to mark the year 1841, but some charming letters to John Sterling, now at Falmouth. There had been some slight misunderstanding between the two friends, and Mrs. Carlyle writes : * Had I loved you little, I should not have minded; but loving you much, I regarded myself as a femme inco7tiprise and, what was still worse, maltreated. . . .' The matter which caused the temporary coolness was purely a literary one, unnecessary to dwell on here; but Mrs. Carlyle ends with, * I care little what comes of John Sterling the poet, so long as John Sterling the man is all that my heart wishes him to be,' and no cloud ever came between them again. But a far deeper trouble was near. Mrs. Welsh's health, never strong, gave way. Some allusion, not meant as serious, in a letter from Templand had roused anxiety, and after Carlyle had written confidentially to Dr. Russell, and received a cautious though hopeful answer, the blow fell, and 'on DEATH OF MRS. WELSH 169 February 23 or 21,' Carlyle tells us, 'came tidings of "a stroke," apoplectic, paralytic; immediate danger now over, but future danger fatally evident.' Carlyle tells, in touching words, how his stricken wife hurried off by night train for Liverpool, on her way to her mother; he tells of the violent pain in which she started, 'her beautiful eyes full of sorrowful affection;' of the sad greeting at Liverpool: 'All is over at Templand, cousin; gone, gone ! ' and how with all tenderness, the pitying hands laid the bereaved woman to rest, as best she could rest in her sorrow and utter weariness. It was on Feb. 26, 1842, that Mrs. Welsh breathed her last, ' that first stroke, mercifully the last one.' Mr. Carlyle immediately went to Templand to settle affairs there, and two months passed in this sad and lonely manner, but, as he says, ' not unhappy.' The unhappiness was at Cheyne Row, where the blow that struck the quick-responsive heart of Mrs. Carlyle, stifled the powers of life. Mrs. Welsh was laid in Crawford churchyard, twenty miles from Templand. It was long before the stricken woman at Chelsea could write on the subject — we give an extract from a letter. To Mrs. Russell, Thornhill. 5 Cheyne Row, Chelsea: Tuesday, April 1842. My dear Mrs. Russell, — I sit down to write to you at last ! But how to put into written words what lies for you in my heart ! If I were beside you, I feel as if I should throw myself on your neck, and cry myself to rest like a sick child. At this distance, to ask in cold writing all the heart-breaking things I would know of you, and to say all the kind things I would say for her and myself, is indeed quite impossible for me. You will come and see me, will you not, before very long? I can never go there again ; but you will come to me ? traveling is made so easy now ! And I should feel such gratification in receiving into my own house one who was ever so dearly welcome in hers, and who, of all who loved her, was, by one sad chance and another, I 70 LIFE IN LONDON the only one whose love was any help to her when she most needed our love ! She blessed you for the comfort you gave her, and you shall be blessed for it here and hereafter. The dying blessings of such a pure fervent heart as hers cannot have been pronounced on you in vain ; and take my blessing also, ' kind, sweet woman ! ' a less holy one, but not less sincerely given ! It was not until early in May that Carlylewas able to return to his home in Chelsea, where (he says) my poor, sorrow-stricken darling, with Jeannie, her Liverpool cousin, had been all this while. ... I found her looking pale, thin, weak ; she did not complain of health, but was evidently suffering that way too ; what she did feel was of the mind, of the heart sunk in heaviness ; and of this also she said little, even to me not much. Words could not avail; a mother and mother's love were gone, irrevocably. . . . There was also in Mrs. Carlyle's heart the bitterness of vehement and fruitless self-reproach as to real or fancied shortcomings in her conduct as a daughter — a shadow which falls on the most blameless hearts, when once the object of love and duty is taken from them for ever; and Carlyle, in his own loneliness, reproached himself in his turn, possibly equally groundlessly, with an impatience of his wife's reiter- ated expressions of pain on this very subject. Mrs. Carlyle's letters to Mrs. Russell, of Thornhill, one of her best-loved friends, and wife of the physician who had attended Mrs. Welsh, are most touching in their abandon- ment of sorrow. * Think of me — pray for me ! ' she says, out of her depth of depression. The first anniversary of her birthday, in July of that year, was naturally a sad one; but Carlyle made a little gift of a smelling-bottle to his wife on that day, and never again omitted the thoughtful attention of some memento after the mother's death. The month of August was spent by Mrs. Carlyle at Troston Rectory, Suffolk, where the Rev. Reginald Buller held the living, with his father and mother as guests also. Carlyle was on the eve of a short trip to the Continent — a few THE 'LION'S' WIFE I71 days merely, with Spring Rice, on public business. Here in the peaceful country village was no peace for the agitated nerves of Mrs. Carlyle, 'dead weary* as she describes herself to have been. ' Infernal serenades of asses, braying as if the devil were in them,' with ' ever so many cocks chal- lenging each other all over the parish,' banished all hope of sleep. In this first letter from Troston we find the first mention of Lady Harriet Baring, afterwards Lady Ashburton. Mrs. Carlyle ends with : ' God bless you, my dear husband ! I hope you are rested, and going to Lady Harriet, and I hope you will think of me a great deal, and be as good to me on my return as you were when I came away. I do not desire any more of you ! Your own — J. C The Rev. Reginald does not seem to have struck Mrs. Carlyle by the intellect and power which so distinguished Carlyle's old pupil Charles, of whom Lord Houghton speaks in such warm and generous terms in his highly interesting work, ' Monographs.' But she was not in a state of health to appreciate the commonplace, and again, on August 20, bitterly complains to her husband of night-noises, of which a healthy brain and nervous system would have been more or less unconscious : ' Braying, lowing, crowing, cackling, barking, howling, &c., the like of which I have not found in Israel ! ' In thus expre;ssing herself we must bear in mind that she well knew Carlyle to be equally susceptible to the least disturbance, and could, or at least might, be expected to understand her trouble. She adds : ' In the few moments that I slept, I dreamed that my mother came to me, and said that she knew of a beautiful place where it was so quiet. . . .' This is, indeed, what Mrs. Carlyle feared would come out of her — ' the literature of desperation ; ' and we must bear in mind that, from this time forth, we are speaking of a sick woman, broken permanently in her nervous health and well- being, and seeing all things with the inevitable exaggeration 172 LIFE IN LONDON of an overworn brain and saddened hopes. That she was tragical and intense was absolutely inevitable to one in her physical state, and it would be idle to discuss so sad, so unalterably sad, a condition, in the once bright and dauntless woman. A * passing bell ' for some old parishioner who had died, rung at an untimely hour, caused acute suffering, sleepless- ness and fright to Mrs. Carlyle, who returned to Cheyne Row early in September, and again poured forth her sad- ness in letters to Mrs. Russell and Mrs. Aitken. It was true of her, as Carlyle had said of himself, that, ' sick children, who long now for this, now for that, are not well off any- where. The thing they want, I suppose, is to get to sleep well on their mother's bosom.' But that was not to be as yet. Growing popularity attracted a vast number of visitors to Cheyne Row — to see, if it might be, the author of ' Hero Worship,' * The French Revolution,' &c., the man who had wrought such a mighty upheaval in thought and literature ; and the * Lion's Wife ' had a handsome share of such rich in- comings. For among those admirers was one who came to know and to love both these remarkable people, and was Mrs. Carlyle's closest friend through life — Miss Geraldine Jewsbury, a Manchester lady, gifted, brilliant, and herself an authoress, afterwards, also, for many years, reader and re- viewer to the 'Athenaeum.' Geraldine was eager, sprightly, original, and warm- hearted — the most congenial nature Mrs. Carlyle could have met with. We, who had the privilege of knowing her in her later years, when she visited her brother, the late Mr. Frank Jewsbury, in Manchester, can never forget the quick, responsive brightness and very marked originality of Geraldine Jewsbury. There were many points of character not dissimilar between her and Mrs. Carlyle; and the friend- ship was extended to Mr. Carlyle, who received it with less of rapture, perhaps, but never failed to recognize the good A READ Y EXPEDIENT \ 73 points of Geraldine, though her impulsiveness sometimes grated on him momentarily. Miss Jewsbury was also very intimate with a Mr. and Mrs. Paulet (he, Swiss by birth ; she, an English lady), who lived at Seaforth, near Liverpool, and in time Mrs. Carlyle came to know and visit the Paulets. The husband was an estimable man, a merchant in good circumstances, and Mrs. Paulet {^Betsy, as she soon came to be called in the letters and chats of the ladies) was a charming and gifted woman, attractive in many ways. Three uncommon women like these found difficulties, no doubt, in a ' three-cornered ' friendship, irregularly unreserved and intimate, yet not altogether confidential, equally, amongst the three. From discussing literary subjects they often passed to personal ones, and, as all three were not always present,- there arose in time that little 'rift within the lute' which was natural under the circumstances. But peace came out of the agitation, and one of its terms was, that each lady returned to the other every scrap of writing which had passed between them, — so far, at least, as Mrs. Carlyle and Miss Jewsbury were concerned, whose correspondence had been voluminous ; and probably in Mrs. Paulet's case also. All three friends now having passed away, it would be worse than useless to dwell on a storm which never really affected the true heart-friendship between Mrs. Carlyle and Miss Jewsbury, which lasted till the end — in 1866. One only letter of this correspondence is in our hands, the sole repre- sentative of hundreds — it was lent most kindly by John Stores Smith, Miss Jewsbury's valued friend and literary executor. It was written at the close of Mrs. Carlyle's life, as there is abundant evidence to show, and will be given in its place. It was in July 1843 that the house in Cheyne Row needed painting and readjustment, and Carlyle had gone to Wales to be out of the annoyance, leaving his wife to look after the workmen, &c., with her maid as companion, in this uncomfortable state of things. And Mrs. Carlyle, suffering 1 74 ^IP^ I^ LONDON as much as her husband did from the smell of paint, ingeni- ously fitted up 'a sort of gipsy's tent' in the garden, with arm-chair, little table, &c. It was constructed, as she tells her husband, by her own hands, * out of the clothes' ropes and poles, and the old crumb-cloth out of the library.' We cannot but remember her gipsy blood, and feel that she unconsciously adopted a plan most congenial to her temperament, and must have thus passed some truly happy hours, for she adds, ' one has no credit in being jolly in such a pretty bower.' Here we have a reference to ' Mark Tapley,' and we may mention that Charles Dickens was now known personally to the Carlyles. Speaking of this ' tent,' Mrs. Carlyle says — 'Woman wants but little here below; ' we might add the emphatic conclusion of a venerable lady-friend : 'but that little she OT?/j-/ //0?'^ /' — and it was not always feasible. Writing to her Uncle John in Liverpool on July i8 Mrs. Carlyle speaks of her home as ' possessed by seven devils — a painter, two carpenters, a paperhanger, two nondescript apprentice lads, and a spy, all playing the devil to the utmost of their powers. . . .' Her tent, too, frail refuge, had an awkward way of falling down on her head at the least puff of wind. In fact, her vivid descriptions of this period of ' earth- quaking' are highly characteristic. Carlyle meantime visited Clifton and Chepstow, and writes to his wife: 'You are very good; write always. Except by your letters, I am, at present, disunited from all the earth.' A visit to Bishop Thirlwall was a memorable incident of this little tour. When Carlyle reflected that his wife was weak, overwrought, and suffering from the heat, he urged her to join him at a seaside lodging at Formby, near Sea- forth, where the Paulets lived; but the plan came to nothing. So Mrs. Carlyle remained at Cheyne Row, while her husband again went to Scotland, in what Mr. Froude calls 'a period of eclipse.' Helen Welsh, her cousin from Liverpool, was now with Mrs. Carlyle, and the house in Cheyne Row began to look RETURN TO CHELSEA 1 75 clean and pretty. 'Thanks,' she writes to Carlyle, 'for your constant little letters; when you came back, I do not know how I shall learn to do without them. . . . But, my dear, I must stop: you see that my head is bad, and that I am making it worse. Bless you ! ' On August 9 Mrs. Carlyle set off, with old Mr. Sterling, to spend a few days at Ryde, where her discomforts seem to have been many and acute. Here occurred the remarkable incident of her enthusiastic meeting with Father Mathew, which shows her keen and impulsive nature at its very height. We give an extract from her letter to her husband, on this subject. The date is August 9, 1843: — . . . And now let me tell you something which you will perhaps think questionable, a piece of Hero- Worship that I have been after. My youthful enthusiasm, as John Sterling calls it, is not extinct then, as I had supposed; but must certainly be immortal ! Only think of its blazing up for Father Mathew ! You know I have always had the greatest reverence for that priest ; and when I heard he was in London, attainable to me, I felt that I must see him, shake him by the hand, and tell him I loved him considerably ! I was expressing my wish to see him, to Robertson, the night he brought the Ballad Collector ; and he told me it could be gratified quite easily. Mrs. Hall had offered him a note of introduction to Father Mathew, and she would be pleased to include my name in it. ' Fix my time, then.' ' He was administering the pledge all day long in the Com- mercial Road.' I fixed next evening. Robertson, accordingly, called for me at five, and we rumbled off in omnibus, all the way to Mile End, that hitherto for me unimaginable goal ! Then there was still a good way to walk ; the place, the ' new lodging,' was a large piece of waste ground, boarded off from the Commercial Road, for a Catholic cemetery. I found 'my youthful enthusiasm ' rising higher and higher as I got on the ground, and saw the thousands of people all hushed into awful silence, with not a single exception that I saw — the only religious meeting I ever saw in cockneyland which had not plenty of scoffers hanging on its outskirts. The crowd was all in front of a narrow scaffolding, from which an American cap- I 76 LIFE IN LONDON tain was then haranguing it ; and Father Mathew stood beside him, so good and simple-looking ! Of course, we could not push our way to the front of the scaffold, where steps led up to it ; so we went to one end, where there were no steps or other visible means of access, and handed up our letter of introduction to a policeman ; he took it and returned presently, saying that Father Mathew was coming. And he came ; and reached down his hand to me, and I grasped it ; but the boards were higher than my head, and it seemed our communication must stop there. But I have told you that I was in a moment of enthusiasm ; I felt the need of getting closer to that good man. I saw a bit of rope hanging, in the form of a festoon, from the end of the boards ; I put my foot on it ; held still by Father Mathew's hand ; seized the end of the boards with the other ; and, in some, to myself (up to this moment), incomprehensible way, flung myself horizontally on to the scaffolding at Father Mathew's feet ! He uttered a scream, for he thought (I suppose) I must fall back ; but not at all ; I jumped to my feet, shook hands with him and said — what ? ' God only knows.' He made me sit down on the only chair a moment ; then took me by the hand as if I had been a little girl, and led me to the front of the scaffold, to see him administer the pledge. From a hundred to two hundred took it ; and all the tragedies and theatrical repre- sentations I ever saw, melted into one, could not have given me snch emotion as that scene did. There were faces both of men and women that will haunt me while I live ; faces exhibiting such concentrated wretchedness, making, you would have said, its last deadly struggle with the powers of darkness. There was one man, in particular, with a baby in his arms ; and a young girl that seemed of the ' unfortunate ' sort, that gave me an insight into the lot of humanity that I still wanted. And in the face of Father Mathew, when one looked from them to him, the mercy of Heaven seemed to be laid bare. Of course I cried; but I longed to lay my head down on the good man's shoulder and take a hearty cry there before the whole multitude ! He said to me one such nice thing. ' I dare not be absent for an hour,' he said ; ' I think always if some dreadful drunkard were to come, and me away, he might never muster determination per- haps to come again in all his life ; and there would be a man lost ! ' INTER VIE W WITH FA THEK MA THE VV I J J I was turning sick, and needed to get out of the thing, but, in the act of leaving him — never to see him again through all time, most probably — feeling him to be the very best man of modern times (you excepted), I had another movement of youthful enthusiasm which you will hold up your hands and eyes at. Did I take the pledge then? No; but I would, though, if I had not feared it would be put in the newspapers ! No, not that ; but I drew him aside, having considered if I had any ring on, any handkerchief, anything that I could leave with him in remembrance of me, and having bethought me of a pretty memorandum-book in my reticule, I drew him aside and put it in his hand, and bade him keep it for my sake; and asked him to give me one of his medals to keep for his? And all this in tears and the utmost agitation ! Had you any idea that your wife was still such a fool! I am sure I had not. The Father got through the thing admirably. He seemed to understand what it all meant quite well, inarticulate though I was. He would not give me a common medal, but took a silver one from the neck of a young man who had just taken the pledge for example's sake, telling him he would get him another presently, and then laid the medal into my hand with a solemn blessing. I could not speak for excitement all the way home. When I went to bed I could not sleep; the pale faces I had seen haunted me, and Father Mathew's smile; and even next morning, I could not anyhow subside into my normal state, until I had sat down and written Father Mathew a long letter — accompanying it with your ' Past and Present ! ' . . . It is to be feared that old Mr. Sterling was hardly the companion for Mrs. Carlyle. A noisy hotel had been changed for lodgings, where discomforts of a still more unbearable kind awaited the nervous and sleepless woman. A letter from Miss Jewsbury the next day, in connection with a young servant for whom Mrs. Carlyle was kindly finding a place in Manchester, gave Mrs. Carlyle the excuse for instant return to town. She speaks kindly of old Mr. Sterling, but estimates his conversational powers as low, since, in his decline and suffering, ' he cannot even talk, for every minute needing to roar out " This is torture, by Jove ! My God, 178 LIFE IN LONDON' this is agony ! " ' and she ends her letter by subscribing her- self ' bug-bitten, bedevilled, and out of my latitude.' On August 13 she has safely returned to Cheyne Row, and tells her husband, who is still at Scotsbrig, that she was, or ought to be, ' the most thankful woman in Chelsea.' But in the same letter are the words: * Oh! my mother, my own mother ! ' After a good sleep in her own * red bed,' she awoke to activity, and ' fell immediately to painting and glazing with my own hands, not to ruin you altogether,' and she ends with ' Pray for me ! ' A German governess. Miss Bolte, whose name often occurs, spent an evening with Mrs. Carlyle, who was trying to place her in a situation — ever anxious, as she was, to help others. Miss Bolte is described as 'a fine, manly little creature.' Depressing days followed, failing strength, and very unlovely household discomforts, needless to enter on here. Still were the kindly deeds never neglected: the 'five pounds for poor old Mary, before you leave the country;' the gentle reception of Garnier, a revolutionary exile, all out of tune and out of heart, whose troubled soul she smoothed with her tender womanly hand, so that, on parting, he said, ' You have made me pass one evening pleasantly, and I came very miserable.' It was towards the end of this month that Mrs, Carlyle ' realised ' the sofa, of which she writes so graphically to her husband, with the eagerness and pleasure of a child describing a new toy. There was a little disappointment at the fact of Dr. John Carlyle arriving at Cheyne Row on a visit before Carlyle's own arrival. But she bravely says: * When you come, I shall insist on going into some quiet, comfortable room with you, and locking the door till we have had a quiet, comfortable talk. . . .' These anticipations were not realised. Carlyle returned from his travels 'very bilious,' and, as a consequence, doubt- less, irritable, and all the completed labours after order and cleanliness in the house were swallowed up in one wild long- CARLYLE RETURNS TO CHELSEA I 79 ing on his part for a quiet place to write in. An ' accursed pianoforte next door ' was the deciding aggravation. Some- thing must be done, and that speedily; and many expedients were tried, but without avail, to arrange a quiet room for Carlyle to work in. Mrs. Carlyle writes to Mrs. Aitken in October 1843: My dear Jane, — Carlyle returned from his travels very bilious and continues very bilious up to this hour. The amount of bile that he does bring home to me, in these cases, is something ' awfully grand ! ' Even through that deteriorating medium he could not but be struck with a ' certain admiration ' at the immensity of needlework I had accomplished in his absence, in the shape of chair-covers, sofa-covers, window curtains, &c., &c., and all the other manifest improvements into which I had put my whole genius and industry, and so little money as was hardly to be conceived ! For three days his satisfaction over the rehabilitated house lasted ; on the fourth, the young lady next door took a fit of practising on her accursed pianoforte, which he had quite forgotten seemingly, and he started up disen- chanted in his new library, and informed heaven and earth in a peremptory manner that ' there he could neither think nor live,' that the carpenter must be brought back and ' steps taken to make him a quiet place somewhere — perhaps best of all on the roof of the house.' Then followed interminable consultations with the said carpenter, yielding, for some days, only plans (wild ones) and estimates. The roof on the house could be made all that a living author of irritable nerves could desire: silent as a tomb, lighted from above; but it would cost us 120/. ! Impossible, seeing that we may be turned out of the house any year ! so one had to reduce one's schemes to the altering of rooms that already were. By taking down a partition and instituting a fire-place where no fire-place could have been fancied capable of existing, it is expected that some bearable approximation to that ideal room in the clouds will be realised. But my astonishment and despair on finding myself after three months of what they call here ' regular mess,' just when I had got every trace of the workpeople cleared away, and had said to myself, ' Soul, take thine ease, or at all events thy swing, for thou hast carpets nailed down and furniture rubbed for many I So LIFE IN LONDON days!' just when I was beginning to lead the dreaming, reading, dawdHng existence which best suits me, and alone suits me in cold weather, to find myself in the thick of a new ' mess: ' the carpets, which I had nailed down so well with my own hands, tumbled up again, dirt, lime, whitewash, oil, paint, hard at work as before, and a prospect of new cleanings, new sewings, new arrangements stretching away into eternity for anything I see ! ' Well,' as my Helen says (the strangest mixture of philos- opher and perfect idiot that I have met with in my life), ' when one's doing this, one's doing nothing else anyhow ! ' And as one ought to be always doing something, this suggestion of hers has some consolation in it. . . . Three days of satisfaction were a scanty reward for the continuous and anxious efforts made by Mrs. Carlyle for her husband's comfort. In a letter to Mrs. Sterling she expresses herself vividly on the subject. Up went all the carpets which my own hands had nailed down, in rushed the troop of incarnate demons, bricklayers, joiners, white-washers, &c. . . . Down went a partition in one room, up went a new chimney in another. Helen, instead of exerting herself to stave the torrent of confusion, seemed to be struck [no wonder] with temporary idiotcy; and my husband himself, at sight of the uproar he had raised, was all but wringing his hands and tearing his hair. . . . Myself could have sat down and cried, so little strength or spirit had I left. . . . Sad to tell, this re-arrangement of rooms, when completed, proved an entire failure, and the distracted writer, after < shifting about in the saddest way, like a domestic wandering Jew, returned to his original library.' 'Alas!' adds his wife, * one can make fun of this on paper, but in practice it is anything but fun, I assure you. There is no help for it, however; a man of genius cannot hold his genius as a sinecure !' It was in November of this year that Mrs. Carlyle writes of her own suffering to the kind uncle John in Liverpool; piteously bewails her ' solitude ' in that bed-chamber, where she has 'transacted so many headaches, so many influenzas,' I SUFFERINGS AND PAINFUL MEMORIES l8l and says she is ' Oh ! so lonely ! as in some intermediate stage betwixt the living world and the dead ! ' For Carlyle was now buried, in his own fashion, namely in the production of his * Cromwell,' and a notable diminution ensued in the time he could spend with his wife. It was in June of 1844, that she ventured on a visit to her relatives and friends in Liverpool and that neighbourhood. The winter had again been very depressing. In the March preceding, Carlyle had anxieties about his beloved old mother, and made touching entries in his Journal as to her possible decline. The more slowly advancing decay ever beside him, he failed to see. His 'eyes were holden'! ' Jane,' he says, * gets better in the bright weather. All is bright here.* But these words were in a letter to cheer his mother. In his Journal he says on May 8: 'My progress in "Cromwell" is frightful. . . . A thousand times have I regretted that this task was ever taken up. ... I am oftenest very sad.' And so the double sadness went on in these two lives, and other hope was utterly vain. After a most trying journey Mrs. Carlyle arrived at her uncle's house in Maryland Street, Liverpool, and met the most cordial welcome, but tells her husband that, * instead of being able to feel glad to see them, something twisted itself about my throat and across my breast, as if I were going to be strangled, and I could get no breath without screaming.' It was at this house that she had met the news of her mother's death. AVith a not unnatural womanly wilfulness, Mrs. Carlyle wished her husband to miss her presence at Cheyne Row, and rejoiced at the written tokens of this, adding, ' It is curious how much more uncomfortable / feel without you ! I am always wondering, since I came here, how I can, even in my angriest mood talk about leaving you for good and all; for if I were to leave you to-day on that principle I should need absolutely to go back to-morrow to see how you were taking it.' July II found her at Seaforth House, vv'ith the Paulets, 1 8 2 LIFE IN LOND ON whence she wrote lovingly to her husband, over whose birthday gift to her she had 'cried and laughed,' longing to give him * an emphatic kiss ' by way of thanks. The end of September she was again in her Chelsea home, and Carlyle proceeded on his first visit to the Grange, where Lady Harriet Baring was staying with her father, Lord Ashburton, v/hile Mrs. Carlyle was much occupied with kindly and heroic ministrations to the unfortunate Plattnauer, an anxious guest. Her influence on this man was remark- able, though she herself barely alludes to it, and none can ever know what he owed to her. But it was a dull and joyless time for Mrs. Carlyle, unenlivened, to any appreciable extent, by all the brilliant society that now flocked around her. The visit to the Grange was soon over, and some frag- ments from her own note-books, destroyed by herself for the most part, give an idea of her life up to the summer of 1845, when she again visited ' uncle John' and the Paulets. She seems as impatient as ever with the commonplace order of things around her, complains of 'the eternal smell of roast meat ' in that hospitable household, and comforts her- self in her misery by the reflection that perhaps * others are more to be pitied that they are not miserable.' ' Somehow /, "as one solitary individual," would rather remain in hell — the hell I make for myself with my restless digghig — than accept this drowsy placidity.' This theory, Mrs. Carlyle certainly and most inevitably carried out. We would not ' hear her enemy say so,' but a more thorough and absolute judgment was never made. Her brains 'tormented her' by her own confession. '■But what to dot ^ Could Carlyle or any other have helped her materially ? We think not. Per- haps a quiet cigarette with Miss Jewsbury, who really loved her, was her greatest solace at this time. A game of chess with Mr. Paulet was also soothing, and she had still spirit enough to sign herself to Carlyle — ' Your own adorable wife.' Carlyle was now himself coming north — his wife return- ing to London. She had written him an angry letter about WOMANL Y ANGER AND REPENTANCE 1 83 his changes of plan, and had promptly repented. On August 20 she writes to him, ' husbands are so obtuse. They do not understand one's movements of impatience' want always to be treated with the respect due to genius; exact common-sense of their poor wives, rather than "the finer sensibilities of the heart;" and so the marriage state . . "has come to what ye see " — if not to immortal smash as yet, at least to within a hair's breadth of it.' By the middle of September the * Cromwell ' was finished, and Carlyle, having spent some few days at Seaforth, went to his own people, while his wife returned to Chelsea, * to meet again,' as she writes in a letter to a friend, ' when he has had enough of peat-bog, and his platonically beloved silence. . . .' Mrs. Carlyle herself returned for another of those inexplicable * household earthquakes,' so wearisome even in their mention, and for which she was so eminently unfitted in her weakened state. Her cousin, Helen Welsh, received her, and the visits of Mazzini and others helped her solitude. Her impressions of a grand amateur theatrical representation, got up by Dickens and Foster, with other distinguished co-adjutors, are most amusing, in her letter to Carlyle of September 23, though the evening was fatiguing. But next day a charming call from Alfred Tennyson, 'all to herself,' was one of the pleasant results of her presence on the occasion. The serious illness of Macready was a pain to Mrs. Carlyle, as he had been present on the said occasion, and in his usual health; and hardly less terrible, in prospect of Carlyle's return, was the re-appearance of a dog which was supposed to have been ' put down ' at Christmas. * The calmness of a great despair ' overcame the anxious wife at these unholy barks. ' Oh destiny accursed! ' she says, * what use of scrubbing and sorting ? All this availeth nothing so long as the dog sitteth at the washerman's gate.' A skilful note put down the nuisance, and peace reigned once more. 'Thank God,' she writes, * you still have quietude to return to.' The dog, set at large, ' behaved just like any other rational being.' 184 Z//^£■ IN LONDON On October 7, Mrs. Carlyle writes to her husband — ' Ah ! my dear; yes, indeed ! If I could quench the devil also, you might turn your face homewards with comparative security.' Pecuniary annoyances represent part — only a part — of the diabolic influences here alluded to, but never was more thrifty and conscientious manager than herself, and her extreme over-sensibility alone called forth this outcry. Early in December the Carlyles paid a long-promised visit to Mr. and Lady Harriet Baring at Bay House, Alverstoke, Hants, and the first impression made on Mrs. Carlyle by her brilliant hostess was evidently a favourable one. In a letter to Mrs, Russell on returning from Bay House, she describes Lady Harriet as 'the very cleverest woman, out of sight, that I ever saw in my life (and I have seen all our " distinguished authoresses "), moreover, she is full of energy and sincerity, and has, I am sure, an excellent heart.' Yet here lay the source of a bitter and terrible alienation between the two who had so faithfully hitherto stepped beside each other in sunshine and storm. But a lull came first, and in the summer of 1846 Mrs. Carlyle again visited her Lancashire friends, being joined by Carlyle in August after his six silent weeks in Annandale. 'Sad as death,' he says, in his retro- spective annotation, 'on my own and the world's confusions and perversities, and the tragedies bred there for oneself and others,' From Seaforth Mrs. Carlyle wrote in much depression to her friend, Mrs. Russell of Thornhill, and on the 14th she writes to Carlyle, who was still at Chelsea, of her ' suffocating misery ' at not having received her regular birthday letter from him. She had been to ask for the letter, and the post- mistress had said there was none that day. She had walked home ' in a tumult of wretchedness.' She tells him her tormenting thoughts: 'Were you,' she writes, 'so out of patience with me that you had resolved to write to me no more at all ? Had you gone to Addiscombe, and found no A TANGLED SKEIN 1 85 leisure there to remember my existence ? Were you taken ill, so ill that you could not write? . , .' Some explanation is needed here. There had been deep unhappiness in the little household. Carlyle had written to a dear, tr-usted friend, Erskine of Linlathen, on July 11, 'My wife went off a few days since to Lancashire. She had been in a very weakly way, . , . had much need of quiet and fresh air. ... I, too, am battered and fretted into great sorrow of heart, that will be difficult to cure in this world.* I 8 6 LIFE IN L OND ON CHAPTER XIX A. D. 1 846-1 847 The dark cloud — Carlyle's anxiety — Mrs. Carlyle seeks counsel — Mazzini's honourable and noble advice — The flight to Seaforth^ Birthday gift and gentle words — Renewed counsels — Renewed bitterness — Lord Houghton's estimate of Lady Harriet Baring — Contrasts — Sad thoughts — Clough's Poem — Visit to W. E. Fors- ter — Again at Addiscombe — Hopeless misunderstanding — The healing of the wound rendered impossible. Although Carlyle attributed his consuming and constant discontent partly to ' the nature of the beast,' we know that he had much to try him, to try any man, at this special time. A thick cloud of wretchedness had followed a visit paid by Mrs. Carlyle to Addiscombe. She had returned, as she said, 'with a mind all churned to froth,' and after most painful scenes, had fled to the Paulets at Seaforth and failed to re- port her safe arrival. Carlyle wrote in alarm: < My dear,' he said, ' I hope it is only displeasure, or embarrassed estrange- ment from me, that robs me of a note this morning. I will not torment myself. Perhaps an unfriendly letter would be worse. Never have we parted so before, and all for ?iothi?ig ! Adieu, dearest, for that is always your title, if madness prevail not. Do not doubt of me, do not yield to the Enemy of us all, and may God bless thee always ! ' But Mrs. Carlyle had been too deeply stirred, and, before leaving London, had taken the strong step of consulting a justly esteemed friend, Mazzini, at this painful crisis. His replies shew how nobly worthy he was of the critical confidence. ' Awake, arise, dear friend ! ' he writes. ' Beset by pain we must go on, with a sad smile and a practical encouragement AN HONO URABLE CO UNSELLOR 1 8 7 from one another. Your life proves an empty thing, you say ! Empty ? Have you never done good ? Have you never loved ? Think of your mother, and do good. Set the eye to Provi- dence. It is not a piece of irony that God has placed you here; can't you trust Him a little longer?' Again, on July 13, after receiving some gentle words from his wife, Carlyle wrote enclosing his faithfully-remembered birthday present, this time a little card-case with tender messages. ' Accept my little gift,' he writes, ' and kiss it as I have done.' The letter, with its enclosure, had been over- looked, and it was the delay of two hours in its delivery which called forth the painful words we have quoted. When once safely in her hand, she again writes to her husband, ' I won- der what love-letter was ever received with such thankfulness ? ' , . . ' Yes,' she continues, ' I have kissed the dear little card- case; and, now I will lie down awhile and try to get some sleep, at least to quiet myself. Oh ! why cannot I believe it, once for all, that, with all my faults and follies, I am *' dearer to you than any earthly creature"?' (this last phrase, by the way, originally quoted from one of Cromwell's letters to his wife). Mrs. Carlyle had again written to Mazzini, and again received honourable and gentle counsel. On July 15 he wrote to her: ' Yes ! Sad as death; but not basely sad. . . . You believe in God; don't you think, after all, that this is nothing but an ephemeral trial, and that He will shelter you to your journey's end under the wide wing of His paternal love ? You had, have, though invisible to the eyes of the body, your mother, your father, too. Can't you commune with them ? I know that a single moment of true fervent love for them will do more for you than all my talking ! Were they now what you call living, would you not fly to them, hide your head in their bosom and be comforted, and feel that you owe to them to be strong — that they may never feel ashamed of their own Jane ? Why, can you think them to be dead, gone for ever, their loving immortal souls annihilated ? Can you think that this vanishing 1 88 LIFE IN LONDON for a time has made you less responsible to them? Cajiyou, in a word, love them less because they are far from sight ? I have often thought that the arrangement by which loved and loving beings are to pass through death is nothing but the last experi- ment appointed by God to human love; and often, as you know from me, I have felt that a moment of true soul-communing with my dead friend was opening a source of strength for me unhoped for, down here. Did we not often agree about these glimpses of the link between ours and the superior life ? Shall we now begin to disagree ? Be strong then, and true to those you loved, and proud, nobly proud in the eyes of those you love or esteem. Some of them are deeply, silently suffering, but needing strength too, needing it perhaps from you. Get up and work; do not set yourself apart from us. When the Evil One wanted to tempt- Jesus, he led Him into a solitude. Believe me, my dear friend, ever yours, Joseph Mazzini. This sympathy could not root out the deep pain from her heart, but no words could have been wiser, had she but known. This time was an eminently dreamy one for Mrs. Carlyle. On hearing of the death of the old minister at Auchtertool, and of her cousin Walter Welsh's succession to the appoint- ment thus suddenly vacated, she writes to Mr, Carlyle — What a mighty problem we make about our bits of lives, and Death as surely on the way to cut us out of 'all that,' at least, whatever may come after . . . one may go a far way in scep- ticism; may get to disbelieve in God and the devil, in virtue and in vice, in love, in one's own soul; never to speak of time and space, progress of the species, rights of women, greatest happiness of the greatest number, ' isms,' world without end; eveiything, in short, that the human mind ever believed in, or ' believed that it believed in '; only not in death. The most outrageous sceptic even I, after two nights without sleep — cannot go ahead against that fact — a rather cheering one on the whole — that, let one's earthly difficulties be what they may, death will make them all smooth sooner or later, and either one shall have a trial at exist- ing again under new conditions, or sleep soundly through all eternity. That last used to be a horrible thought for me, but it 'KIRKCA LD Y HELEN ' 1 8 9 is not so any longer. I am weary, weary to such a point of moral exhaustion, that any anchorage were welcome, even the stillest, coldest, where the wicked should cease from troubling, and the weary be at rest, understanding both by the wicked and the weary myself. Carlyle had, as he says, left home, not guessing at all how ill she was. How should he guess ? He had no means of guessing; no clue to the desolation of that heart of hers ! From Liverpool Mrs. Carlyle went on to Miss Jewsbury's quiet place in Manchester, and this faithful friend ministered, as she best knew how, to the storm-tossed spirit and ex- hausted frame. Nor was the task an ungrateful one, for her guest writes on August 23: * It has brought back something like color into my face and something like calm into my heart. . . .' From Scotsbrig Carlyle took a short trip to Ireland, Dublin, Belfast &c., while what he calls 'a sordid form of servile chaos ' went on in the house at Cheyne Row. After eight years, the valued, though not faultless domestic, * Kirkcaldy Helen,' had left the Carlyles, and the presence of * a temporary servant ' seems to have driven the little house- hold almost to despair. The return of Helen on probation, ended in ' open and incurable drunkenness,' and once more, in December 1846, Mrs. Carlyle was wretched in her domestic arrangements, was herself three weeks ill in bed with a doctor daily attending her, and quite worn out with what she calls, in a letter to Mrs. Sterling (Susan Hunter), 'the disgusting history.' It was clearly a case wherein 'the patient must minister to herself,* and as the real cause of suffering lay deeper than in the short-comings of servant-girls; it may be well to say something here of the undoubted sorrow caused to Mrs, Carlyle by Carlyle's friendship with Lady Harriet Baring, afterwards Lady Ashburton. Carlyle was fastidious, and his most attractive opening into literary society was through the Ashburtons. Had he neglected to follow up this opportunity, London society 190 LIFE IN LONDON might, in consequence of liis own peculiarities, have been in some sense closed to him. As guest in that house, he met on equal terms many distinguished men of rank and letters, and though he may have spoken of them afterwards in ludicrously caustic and severe terms, he was perfectly alive to the advantage of meeting them. Lady Ashburton, on her part, a happy, brilliant, and ambitious woman, prominent in the best society in town, naturally courted the presence at her frequent social gatherings of Thomas Carlyle, one of the 'lions ' of the day, one whose crude and startling originality gave to her evenings a flavour unattainable elsewhere. And it was interesting and * piquant,' no doubt, to outsiders, to hear this hostess, with her own marked individuality, speak in sparkling and unfettered terms, drawing forth yet more unbridled rejoinders from Carlyle. Lord Houghton's short memorial of Lady Ashburton in * Monographs ' is most interesting to those who care about the Carlyles. Prefaced by an admirable portrait, and written with a sincere admiration and that chivalry with which the writer would be sure to treat of a woman's characteristics — it does not impress us favourably; and very little penetration is needed to convince the thoughtful reader that those two natures were antagonistic, and could by no means amalga- mate. Mrs. Carlyle had her peculiar characteristics, Lady Harriet Baring had hers. If the latter had been repressed in her childhood — as she tells Lord Houghton — the conse- quences were unfortunate, for as she frankly adds: 'I was constantly punished for my impertinence, and you see the result: / think I have made up for it si7ice !^ And if Mrs. Carlyle had been an idolised only child, as she had been, she * made up for it ' in another way, and, in her acutely sensitive state, felt pain where no pain was intended, and bitterly resented that ' demeanour of superiority ' shown by Lady Harriet Baring to others than to herself, to none, surely, in whom it evoked more irretrievable suffering. The invitations to Bath House were almost invariably to THE BEARABLE AND THE UNBEARABLE 19I the two — Carlyle and his wife — but were often only accepted by the former, who, utterly unconscious of the harm that was being done, paid a penalty out of all proportion to the fancied slight — as any one will admit who reads the letters and jour- nals of Mrs. Carlyle, written during the twelve years of this largely imaginary, or at least avoidable, grievance. That the ' King of the Forest ' should amiably show his claws and be put through his paces in the drawing-rooms of Bath House, to a crowd of admiring and sometimes curious guests, was, no doubt, very gratifying to Lady Harriet and her friends. The other side of the question, none the less natural, is, that Mrs. Carlyle, who had clung to her husband through the hard, lonely days of obscurity and non-success, having held him up by her unfailing belief in his powers, and given health and strength lavishly, to make his path smooth for him — now be- gan to feel as if, after all, it were not she who reaped the golden harvest of his rapidly growing success, but this bril- liant and fashionable lady, whom she could not feel to be her superior intellectually, and who knew none of the dark, terri- ble, sunless hours spent in the Chelsea home, when a despair of all things cast at times so real and so tangible a cloud over the married pair. Poverty had been hard, loneliness had been hard, but these she could bear, the other she could not bear. To speak of jealousy in any ordinary sense of the word, would be manifestly absurd; but the burden was heavy, and a long period of cutting sorrow ensued. We can only pity, with a true and tender pity, so much wretchedness. A less womanly woman would have suffered less, but here was one eminently feminine to the heart's core, and persistently craving those little marks of tenderness so dear to woman, so out- stripping all that the most splendid genius can do, in the way of rendering a woman's life sweet, harmonious, and altogether acceptable. We do not blame Carlyle. Even with that mother whom he so dearly loved, the intercourse was mainly composed of a 19^ LIFE IN LONDON silent sitting by the fireside of an evening, in the old ' house- place,' with a tranquillising pipe of tobacco, or of his returning from his long rambles to a simple meal, partaken of in com- parative silence; and now and then, at meeting or parting, some pious and earnest words from the good soul to her son. And how can we expect that it could dawn on him to be dif- ferent with this eager, passionate-hearted wife ! He could not know it ; and she could not teach him. At one time, dyspeptic and pre-occupied, he took to dining alone, hoping to avert digestive difificulties, but it followed that Mrs. Carlyle also dined alone — a dreary arrangement for her; for even in handing the salt to a woman, both tenderness and courtesy may be shown, which shall make that trifling action almost a caress. There is a short poem by the late Arthur Hugh Clough — that fine and gentle spirit — which has always associated it- self, to our thinking, with the position of this married pair. We quote the poem in this place as intensely expressive. Its appropriateness will at once strike the reader. Qua cwsian Ventiis. As ships, becalmed at eve, that lay With canvas drooping, side by side, Two towers of sail at dawn of day Are scarce, long leagues apart, descried; When fell the night, upsprung the breeze. And all the darkling hours they plied, Nor dreamt but each the self-same seas By each was cleaving, side by side : E'en so — but why the tale reveal Of those whom — year by year unchanged, Brief absence joined anew to feel, Astounded, soul from soul estranged ? At dead of night their sails were filled. And onward each rejoicing steered: — Ah, neither blame, for neither willed. Or wist what first with dawn appeared ! INEVITABLE BLINDNESS 1 93 To veer how vain! On, onward strain, Brave barks! In light, in darkness too, Through winds and tides^ one compass guides, — To that, and your own selves, be true. But O blithe breeze, and O great seas, Though ne'er, that earliest parting past, On your wide plain they join again. Together lead them home at last! One port, methought, alike they sought, One purpose hold where'er they fare, — O bounding breeze, O rushing seas, At last, at last, unite them there! Carlyle's unconsciousness of the actual cause of his wife's pain makes us very tender in thinking of them both. In August, 1846, writing to her from Scotsbrig, he says: * Oh, my dearest, how little I can make thee know of me ! . . . Adieu, my own Jane, whom nothing can divide from me ! " The silence on his wife's part that was causing Carlyle such pain, arose from a plan he had made to join the Barings, while in Scotland, on a few days' tour, Mrs. Carlyle being cordially invited to join the party. But she was in no mood to do so; and the five days given to the trip were anything but propitious. Carlyle deeply felt the coldness which was unaccountable to him, and when he did receive a letter from his wife, he was full of good resolutions and penitence. * Home,' he writes, * is the word, and remember one thing, to write a little oftener to me, and as near the old tone as you can come ! . . .* On August 29, he writes: ' But there will come a day when all that will be intelligible again. I should be miserable if I thought there would not ! ' There was a blindness in the eyes of both these noble natures and only Death was to remove it. It is interesting to note Mrs. Carlyle's sound and original views on ' altruism ' as given in an extract of a letter from her to her cousin Helen Welsh of Liverpool, and dated 194 LIFE IN LONDON Chelsea: Jan. 20, 1847. Dearest Helen, — One hears much fine talk in this hypocritical age about seeking and even finding one's own happiness in 'the happiness of others; ' but I frankly confess to you that I, as one solitary individual, have never been able to confound the two things, even in imagination, so as not to be capable of clearly distinguishing the diff^erence; and if every one would endeavor, as I do, to speak without cant, I believe there would be a pretty general admission on the part of sinful humanity that to eat a comfortable beef-steak when one is hungry yields a satisfaction of a much more positive character than seeing one's neighbour eat it ? For the fact is, happiness is but a low thing, and there is a confusion of ideas in running after it on stilts. When Sir Philip Sidney took the water from his own parched lips to give it to the dying soldier, I could take my Bible oath that it was not happiness he felt; and that he would never have done that much- admired action if his only compensation had been the pleasure resulting to him from seeing the dying soldier drink the water; he did it because he could not help himself; because the sense of duty, of self-denial, was stronger in him at the moment than low human appetite; because the soul in him said, do it; not because utilitarian philosophy suggested that he would find his advantage in doing it, nor because Socinian dilettanteism required of him a beautiful action ! . . . , Part of January and February of 1847 was spent by the Carlyles with the Barings at Bay House, near Alverstoke, where Mrs. Carlyle was again very ill — though still able, at times, to enjoy the bright society around her. Part of August was spent at Matlock, where W. E. Forster visited the Carlyles and shewed much kindness. Responding to his pressing wish, they spent a fortnight with him at Rawdon Hall, whence Carlyle departed for Scotsbrig. Lord Houghton remarks, with some naivete: ' It was with no disregard of her sex that Lady Ashburton (as she had then become) preferred the society of men.' Possibly, Mrs. Carlyle may have shared this preference, but the visits to the Barings certainly gave no pleasure or profit to /ler, and the long years up to 1857, when Lady Ashburton died, were among SILENCE NOT ALWA YS GOLDEN 195 the hardest in the life of Mrs. Carlyle — awakening in her a quicker sense of the want in her own life, to which Carlyle was blind, and which she felt all the more while he sought the society of Lady Ashburton, in his own simplicity and absence of all knowledge of the pain he caused. This sorrow as to the intercourse with the Baring family was a constant fret to the lonely wife. It shewed sometimes in a silent bitterness — sometimes in still more bitter utterances. It would have been as nothing had essentials been different. July 15, 1847, was another of Mrs. Carlyle's now dreaded birthday anniversaries. Gifts and loving tokens, including a brooch from Carlyle, had caused her to ' fall a-crying: ' there were too many sad associations mixed up with the little festival. She describes herself to Helen Welsh as ' unable to sleep or eat, hardly able to sit upright,' and adds that her husband urges her to try a change to Haddington, where the kind Misses Donaldson would receive her with open arms. She speaks of herself as ' already worn out * with the eifort of writing the letter. This ended in a week's visit to the Grange, where Mrs. Carlyle's health continued very feeble, and again the year ended in discouragement. Mr. Froude has told the whole story of that unhappy year with truth and , admirable delicacy, and it would be idle to do other than refer the reader to his 'Carlyle's Life in London,' vol. i., chapter xiv., where every detail is given. It only remains to say: ' Oh, the pity of it ! — the pity of it ! ' The painful subject was tacitly left, unhealed, but for the most part held in the background — no open breach of the friendly footing was admitted — but that is often the veryv worst way of curing an evil, easier at the mom.ent, possibly, but entailing untold complications later on. September, therefore, found Mrs. Carlyle at Cheyne Row again; her husband still at Scotsbrig. Old Mr. Sterling had died, and Mrs. Carlyle describes herself to John Forster as ' a sadder and a wiser woman.' So the year closed sadly enough; though the anxiety of poverty had been some time removed, 196 LIFE IN LONDON a deeper care had taken its place ! And still the kindly visits of friends failed to cheer the drooping spirit; outside sources of pleasure and interest could not lighten the cloud which weighed on Mrs. Carlyle. Lady Harriet Baring did not mend matters by well-meant assiduities: her medical emissary, Dr. Fleming, gravely assuring the delicate and suffering Mrs. Carlyle that Lady Harriet considered she had brought all her illness by * unheard- of imprudence in diet.' But this did not prevent Mrs. Carlyle 'from again visiting Lady Harriet Baring at Addiscombe, a step surely taken to please Carlyle. She returned to Cheyne Row on October i, writing to Carlyle ' before starting,' lest she should be too ill to do so immediately on her return, and knowing he would be anxious about his poor * Goody.' We cannot resist the thought that a continual correspondence fro7Ti a disiatice, during some of these sad years, would have been no imperfect substitute for personal intercourse between this married pair. Carlyle feeling that Lady Harriet was the most considerate of hostesses, must have been pained by his wife's embittered account of the short visit to that house where /le felt himself at ease. The selfish indifference of one of Lady Harriet's housemaids left Mrs. Carlyle, unable to light her bedroom fire. Chilly and feeble as she was, this was a cruel neglect. It cannot be supposed that the hostess knew anything of this discomfort, but the effect was equally painful. Lady Harriet, however, always thought Mrs. Carlyle needed * bracing,' instead of the tenderest care at all times. The delicate woman keenly felt ^hat her frequent ailing was treated as 'hypochondria,' and this was certainly an erroneous supposition, and galling to a high spirit. It is painful to find Mrs. Carlyle saying, in a letter to her husband, 'When I look at my white, white face in the glass, I wonder how anyone can believe I am fancying ! ' CHAPTER XX A. D. 1847-1849 Return to Cheyne Row — Renewed illness — Bitter reflections — Disap- pointment — Confidences to Uncle John Welsh — A winter's visit of Carlyle to the Barings — Mrs. Carlyle remaining at Cheyne Row — Remonstrances of Miss Jewsbury — Long illness of Mrs. Carlyle — Consultations with John Forster — Visit to Addiscombe — Death of Lord Ashburton — Carlyle's tour in Ireland — The for- gotten plaid — Mrs. Carlyle visits Lady Harriet Baring (now Lady Ashburton) at Alverstoke — Brilliant society but no sleep — Death of John Sterling — Declining health of Jeffrey — Haddington — Betty Braid, the ' old nurse ' — Scenes of childhood revisited — ' Matthew Baillie ' — Mrs. Carlyle visits her father's grave — Sunny Bank — Sad and loving meetings — ' Old Jamie ' — Manches- ter and Miss Jewsbury — Illness of Helen Welsh of Liverpool. Mrs. Carlyle returned home only to fall ill again, and was too weary at the end of a week's so-called * rest* to be able to bear to listen to the lengthy discussions of Mazzini and Dr. John Carlyle on the subject of ' Dante,' and speaks of * sending them both away together'; a sign that much was amiss, as the brilliant, versatile woman could certainly have turned the talk into what direction she pleased, had she not been exhausted in mind and body, disheartened, indifferent. A call from Lady Harriet Baring gave some slight satisfaction. On October 9 Mrs. Carlyle says, speaking of this visit: 'I could not but think from her manner that she had bethought her I had been rather roughly handled on my last visit.' It may have been so, but where the prosperous and the unhappy are brought into any sort of forced inter- course, every touch is a wound. In November of 1847 Mrs. Carlyle writes an unusually sharp and biting letter to John Forster. The causes of bitter- ness were various and so potent, as to draw from the writer 197 IgS LIFE IN LONDON the half-jesting determination of suiciding herself. Inability, from illness, to go to Notting Hill to see a bust of Carlyle, then in progress, makes her say, ' Unfeeling as it looked to let myself be withheld by any weather from going to see my husband's bust, I thought it would really be more unfeeling to risk an inflammation in my husband's wife's chest, which makes my husband's wife such a nuisance, as you, an unmar- ried man, can hardly figure.' Then, she writes it with tears in her eyes, she cannot go to the theatre on Monday, whither Forster was to take them, and, most serious of all, Carlyle was furious at her looking over * proofs ' of a novel by her friend, Geraldine Jewsbury, declaring fhat she did not know bad grammar when she saw it any better than Miss Jewsbury did, and that if she had any faculty, she might find better employment for it, etc. This last was hard to bear, for Mrs. Carlyle had a finished and remarkable literary style of her own, and would have made a brilliant use of it, had she not, from the first, been overshadowed by the towering genius and exacting personality of her husband. The middle of December 1847 finds her pouring out her sad thoughts and her flashing wit to her uncle, John Welsh, in Liverpool, having, as she tells him, ' coughed herself all to fiddle-strings in the course of a week,' and feeling * the family affections bloom up strong.' She speaks of Miss Martineau and mesmerism in terms more striking than com- plimentary. Animal magnetism she calls ' a damnable sort of tempting of Providence,' from which she holds herself entirely aloof. 'In January 1848,' says Mr. Froude, 'came an indispen- sable visit to the Barings. Mrs. Carlyle was to have gone, and they were to have stayed four weeks, but the winter was cold; she was feeble and afraid of a chill.' Pressing invita- tions from Lady Harriet, and urgent letters from her husband, took no effect on her determination to remain where she was. Writing on January 17 to her husband, then at Bay House, Alverstroke, she says: LINKED TOGETHER 199 I will never, with the health I have, or rather have not, engage to leave home for a long fixed period another winter. . . . Be- sides, is not home — at least, was it not, in more earnest times — ' the woman's proper sphere ' ? Decidedly, if she ' have nothing to keep her at home,' — as the phrase is — she should find some- thing, or die! . . . Amusement, after a certain age, is no go; even when there are no other nullifying conditions: it gets to be merely distraction. . . , To be sure, it is hard on flesh and blood, when one has ' nothing to keep one at home,' to sit down in honest life-weariness and look out into unmitigated zero, . . And Carlyle is writing to her, 'Why do I complain to poor thee? . . . Only, \i you had been strong I would have told you how very weak and wretched /was.' Ten days proved enough for Carlyle of the restraints of society, after which he fairly * fled home,' and soon obtained the consola- tion of glimpses of future work, his only anodyne. Mrs. Carlyle again consulted John Forster in her ' delicate embarrassment ' of not wishing Miss Jewsbury's forthcoming novel to be dedicated to herself and Mrs. Paulet, * not wish- ing,' as she wrote, ' to give pain to Geraldine, still less to give offence to my husband.' A long illness of three months closed with a visit to the Barings at Addiscombe, Carlyle being in solitude and his be- loved silence at Chelsea. How strong the link, after all, that bound this strangely assorted couple. Writing on April 13, 1848, to her husband Mrs. Carlyle says: ' I have nothing to complain of here as to diet, or hours, or noise; and I have not had one well moment, day or night, except that day you came.^ But all was sadly amiss with Mrs. Carlyle's health, and be- ing left one evening alone, unexpectedly, at Addiscombe, she describes it as ' like a morphia dream ' — the first mention of a drug to which, in after days, we know she was forced to re- sort, occasionally, under medical advice. The return for a time of the old servant Helen, promised comfort, but all Mrs. Carlyle's charitable efforts could not 200 LIFE IN LONDON rescue the girl from bad habits, which ended in ' a final crash.' She was, however, quickly and satisfactorily replaced. Mrs. Carlyle, revived in spirit, was busy making a screen covered with prints. Her fine artistic taste thus found some occupa- tion — though she complains that books ' take no hold ' on her, and that, 'being an only child,' she * never wished to sew ! ' A change had taken place at Addiscombe. The kindly old Lord had died in May, and Mr. Baring was now Lord Ashburton. It was in July of this year, 1849, that Carlyle went for a six weeks' tour in Ireland.* His wife had seen him off on his journey, then went home and cried a little, then found he had left his plaid behind in the bustle of departure. It was a chilly day, and after a frantic desire to plunge into the water and swim after him with the plaid in her mouth, she had dismissed the idea, proceeded to the kitchen, and silently boiled her strawberries, like a practical woman. She then betook herself to Bath House,f to accompany Lady Harriet, now Lady Ashburton, to Addiscombe, driving thither in an open carriage, and arriving, * shivering with cold, excessively low, and so vexed about the plaid. No sympathy there ! thank God ! . . . All day I was fancying you shivering like myself.' A brilliant house-party was now assembled at Addiscombe, none wittier among that company than was Mrs. Carlyle her- self, who paid for her bright sallies by insomnia and head- ache, and complained of the ' tearing spirits ' everyone was in ! when, her short visit over, she had some of these lively spirits in to afternoon tea. Too tired to keep another engage- ment of her own, she ' read the new Copperfield,' but had talked too much for sleep. A visit to W. E. Forster, en route for Auchtertool, occurs on July 20, and Mrs. Carlyle's account of her experiences at * Carlyle had sailed from London on June 30, 1849, ^^r Dublin on his Irish tour. \ The town-house of the Ashburtons, SHADOWS ON THE FA THWA V 20I Ben Rhydding will be read in its place. That eager, nerve- tortured frame was a bad subject for < packing.' It was on July 17, 1849, that Carlyle, then at Cork, ended a long and interesting letter to his wife: * Adieu, dear Jeannie. O adieu ! My heart and head are very weary; in all dispirit- ment I turn (as by old want) to you ! . . . This birthday I was among the Knockmeledown mountains, . . . and could send my dear Goody no gift — only wishes, wishes ! ' And only three days later his wife ended her letter to him, with the words, * God bless you ! All to be said worth the saying lies in that ! ' The shadows had begun to fall thickly on this pathway, never a sunny one ; the beloved and loyal John Sterling had died in September of 1844, and now the kind Jeffrey was fast fading away. Carlyle had spent an unsettled and mainly joyless summer, while Mrs. Carlyle had gone on from her cousin's, at Auchter- tool Manse, Kirkcaldy, to Haddington, saddest and dearest of places to her, unvisited now by her for twenty-three years; indeed, ever since her marriage. There was for her a solemn gladness in the midst of all the newly-awakened pain; but Carlyle was ' hag-ridden ' : a miserable few days at Auchter- tool, where he stopped to see his wife, was followed by a most uncomfortable visit to the Ashburtons in a Highland shooting- box. Glen Truin,* and he again fled to Scotsbrig. But even the peaceful influences there failed to give him rest, so utterly was he ' out of tune.' While he was on this visit, his wife wrote to him from the hospitable roof of the Misses Donaldson, at Sunny Bank, Haddington, and wrote of ' headache and heartache,' which attended her even in that charmed circle. The meeting between her and old Betty Braid, as given in the ' Letters and Memorials,' is most touching. It was something for the weary, sad woman to sit on her old nurse's knee and be called her * dear bairn ! ' She called also on three of her father's * Lord Ashburton's deer-hunting station, in Macpherson of Cluny's country. 202 LIFE IN LONDON sisters, Elizabeth, Ann, and Grace Welsh. Mrs. Carlyle tells us that they were ' unlike him.' She would never have admitted the claim of any mortal to be like him. But the real significance of the Haddington visit lay in Mrs. Carlyle's intensely sorrowful revisiting of old scenes of her childhood — as told in the narrative from her leaving Rawdon, when she looked so ill that W. E. Forster insisted on accompanying her to Morpeth, where she had arranged to spend the night, to her actual arrival at Sunny Bank. A new morning 'bright as diamonds,' followed the drizzling day of the journey, and in conversation with W. E. Forster, Mrs. Carlyle, in a quiet walk which rendered her 'unusually communica- tive,' spoke of the fact that her maternal grandmother was 'descended from a gang of gipsies ' — was, in fact, grand-niece to Mathew Baillie, who ' suffered at Lanark,' that is, was hanged there, and this fact, told probably in a spirit of play- fulness, was felt by Forster as ' a genealogical fact,' which made Mrs. Carlyle at length intelligible to him: 'a cross between John Knox and a gipsy.' 'By the way,' she adds, ' my uncle has since told me that the wife of that Mathew Baillie, Margaret Euston by name, was the original of Sir Walter Scott's " Meg Merrilies." ' Whatever of gipsy 'strain' was attributed to Mrs. Carlyle, and justly, as we think, she was none the less tender-hearted, loving, sensitive, to an uncommon degree. The emotions of that Haddington visit were overpowering. Arrived at her journey's end, July 25, 1849, ^^^ says: — There I was at the end of it ! Actually in the ' George Inn,' Haddington, alone, amidst the silence of death ! I sat down quite composedly at a window, and looked up the street toward our old house. It was the same street, the same houses; but so silent, dead, petrified ! It looked the old place just as I had seen it at Chelsea in my dreams, only more dream- like ! Having exhausted that outlook, I rang my bell, and told the silent landlord to bring tea and take order about my bed- room. The tea swallowed down, I notified my wish to view ' the A LONELY I'ISLT 203 old church there,' and the keeper of the keys was immediately fetched me. In my part of Stranger in search of the Picturesque. 1 let myself be shown the way which I knew every inch of, shown ' the school-house ' where myself had been Dux, ' the play- ground,' ' the boolin' green,' and so on to the church-gate; which, so soon as my guide had unlocked for me, I told him he might wait, that I needed him no further. The churchyard had become very full of graves; within the ruin were two new smartly got-up tombs. His * looked old, old ; was surrounded by nettles: the inscription all over moss, except two lines which had been quite recently cleared — ^by whom ? Who had been there before me, still caring for his tomb after twenty-nine years ? The old ruin knew, and could not tell me. That place felt the very centre of eternal silence — silence and sadness, world without end ! When I returned, the sexton, or whatever he was, asked, ' Would I not walk through the church ? ' I said ' Yes,' and he led the way, but without playing the cicerone any more; he had become pretty sure there was no need. Our pew looked to have never been new-lined since we occupied it; the green cloth was become all but white from age ! I looked at it in the dim twilight till I almost fancied I saw my beautiful mother in her old corner, and myself, a bright-looking girl, in the other ! It was time to ' come out of that ! ' Meaning to return to the churchyard next morning, to clear the moss from the inscription, I asked my conductor where he lived — with his key. 'Next door to the house that was Dr. Welsh's,' he an- swered, with a sharp glance at my face; then added gently, ' Excuse me, me'm, for mentioning that, but the minute I set eyes on ye at the " George," I jaloosed it was her we all looked after whenever she went up or down.' * You won't tell of me ? ' I said, crying, like a child caught stealing apples; and gave him half-a-crown to keep my secret, and open the gate for me at eight next morning. Then, turning up the waterside by myself, I made the circuit of The Haugh, Dodd's Gardens, and Babbie's Butts, the customary evening walk in my teens; and, except that it was perfectly solitary (in the whole round I met just two little children walking hand in hand, like the Babes of the Wood), the whole thing looked exactly as I left it twenty-three years back; * Her father's. 204 ^^^^ ^^ LONDON the very puddles made by the last rain I felt to have stepped over before. But where were all the the living beings one used to meet? What could have come to the place to strike it so dead? I have been since answered — the railway had come to it, and ruined it. At all rates ' it must have taken a great deal to make a place so dull as that ! ' Leaving the lanes, I now went boldly through the streets, the thick black veil, put on for the occasion, thrown back; I was getting confident that I might have ridden like the Lady Godiva through Haddington, with impunity, so far as recognition went. I looked through the sparred door of our old coach-house, which seemed to be vacant; the house itself I left over till morning, when its occupants should be asleep! Passing a cooper's shop, which I had once had the run of, I stept in and bought two little quaighs; then in the character of travelling Englishwoman, suddenly seized with an unaccount- able passion for wooden dishes, I questioned the cooper as to the past and present of his town. He was the very man for me, being ready to talk the tongue small in his head about his town's- folks — men, women, and children of them. He told me, amongst other interesting things, ' Doctor Welsh's death was the sorest loss ever came to the place,' that myself went away into England and — died there !' adding a handsome enough tribute to my memory. ' Yes ! Miss Welsh ! he remembered her famously, used to think her the tastiest young lady in the whole place; but she was very — not just to call proud — ^very reserved in her company.' In leaving this man I felt more than ever like my own ghost; if I had been walking after my death and burial, there could not, I think, have been any material difference in my speculations. My next visit was to the front gate of Sunny Bank, where I stood some minutes, looking up at the beautifully quiet house; not unlike the ' outcast Peri ' done into prose. How would my old godmother and the others have looked. I wondered, had they known who was there so near them ? I longed to go in and kiss them once more, but positively dared not; I felt that their demonstrations of affection would break me down in a torrent of tears, which there was no time for; so I contented myself with kissing the gate (!), and returned to my inn, it being now near dark. Surely it was the silentest inn on the planet ! not a living being, male or female, to be seen in it except when I rang A WELCOME OF TEARS 205 my bell, and then the landlord or waiter (both old men) did my bidding promptly and silently, and vanished again into space. On my re-entrance I rang for candles, and for a glass of sherry and hot water; my feet had been wetted amongst the long grass of the churchyard, and I felt to be taking cold ; so I made myself negus as an antidote, and they say I am not a practical woman ! Then it struck me I would write to Mr. Carlyle one more letter from the old place, after so much come and gone. Accordingly I wrote till the town clock (the first familiar voice I had heard) struck eleven, then twelve; and, near one, I wrote the Irish address on my letter, and finally put myself to bed — in the ' George Inn ' of Haddington, good God ! I thought it too strange and mournful a position for ever falling asleep in ; never- theless, I slept in the first instance, for I was 'a-weary a-weary,' body and soul of me ! In the earliest morning she haunted the place, finding it hard to believe the people were * only asleep, and not dead ' — ' Non omnis moriar ' — truly, while such warm emotion flowed and overflowed this tender heart, there was still vital force in the dead past, however lifeless the present had become ! The touching meeting with the old ladies at Sunny Bank came off next day, when, with heart thumping ' like, like anything,' the delicate woman went through the ordeal of a welcome of love and tears, and, finally, an attached old man- servant, once with Dr. Welsh, now ostler at the George, called to see Mrs. Carlyle. ' And I threw my arms around his neck — that did I,' says Mrs. Carlyle, while ' he stood quite passive and pale, with great tears rolling down.' And by and by the omnibus took the traveller to the railway, and she was * back into the present,' as she says, with the keen and almost disastrous emotions of the last few days left behind, and cousin Jeannie (now Mrs. Chrystal) to welcome her to Edinburgh, 10 Clarence Street, whence to her aunt's for a few days, a brief visit to Scotsbrig, and then home to Chelsea. The holiday had been unfavourable in many ways, and 206 LIFE IN LONDON from Liverpool, on her way home, Mrs. Carlyle writes to her husband on September 14 — he being still at Scotsbrig — in depressed spirits. She was, however, to have the happiness of seeing Miss Jewsbury in Green-heys, Manchester, before her actual return to Chelsea, and there would be much un- burdening of the heart in the visit. The Liverpool visit was unusually sad from the fact that Helen Welsh was in hope- lessly ill health. * She protests that she is getting better,' writes Mrs. Carlyle, 'but there is death in her face.' K CHAPTER XXI A. D. 1849-1851. Introduction to James Anthony Froude — Arthur Clough — Spedding — Froude's impressions — Mutual loneliness of the Carlyles — Mrs. Carlyle's letter to Mrs. Aitken — Note to John Forster — Visit to The Grange by Carlyle — ' Nero ' and ' Shandy ' — Nero's letter — Failing ideals — Society felt to be hard work by Mrs. Carlyle — Latter Day Pamphlets concluded — Carlyle in Wales — Renewed household ' earthquakings ' at 5 Cheyne Row — Failing strength of Mrs. Carlyle — Sad thoughts — Fruitless regrets and good reso- lutions. The month of June 1849 had been marked by a very im- portant event, which we cannot pass over here. For it was early in this year — before Carlyle's Irish tour — that Carlyle made the acquaintance of James Anthony Froude, that ac- quaintance which was so soon to ' enter the region, and take the place, with the things that cannot die.' The first intro- duction had been made through Arthur Hugh Clough, who, we believe, left Oxford about the same time as Mr. Froude, and whose poems, few as they are, remain to show how bril- liant a genius and how noble a nature were comparatively prematurely extinguished. The ' Sage of Chelsea ' was, at this time, about fifty-four years old (we quote from Mr. Froude), 'tall, upright, beard- less, the eyes, which became lighter with age, of a deep violet, with fire burning at the bottom of thein, which flashed out at the least excitement.' Mr. Froude, who was accompanied by his friend Sped- ding, describes this first visit, on a June evening, when, the talk in the garden ended, Mrs. Carlyle gave them tea indoors. Mr, Froude says, ' Her features were not regular, but I 207 2o8 LIFE IN lONDON thought I had never seen a more interesting looking woman. Her hair was raven black, her eye dark, soft, sad, with dan- gerous light in them. Carlyle's talk was rich, full, and scornful; hers delicately mocking. She was fond of Sped- ding, and kept up a quick, sparkling conversation with him, telling stories at her husband's expense, at which he laughed himself as heartily as we did.' This graphic description gives our readers the best possible account of these remark- able people, as they appeared at this time. Beneath lay the depths yet to be sounded by that friend. Carlyle, writing in his journal of that same year says, * How lonely am I now grown in the world; how hard, .... all the old tremulous affection lies in me, but it is as if frozen. So mocked, and scourged, and driven mad by contradictions, it has, as it were, lain down in a kind of iron sleep. . . . God help me ! God soften me again ! ' A piercing cry this from a man's heart. And Mrs. Carlyle, writing about the same time to the good mother-in-law at Scotsbrig, says: 'The settling down at home after all these wanderings has been a serious piece of work for both Mr. C and myself; for me, I have only managed it by a large consumption of morphia. . . - My visit to Scotsbrig was the one in which I had the most un- mixed satisfaction; for along with my pleasiire at Haddington and Edinburgh, there was almost more pain than I could bear ! ' A kind letter from Mrs. Aitken, of Dumfries, written in the same month, brought a reply which must be given here: To Mrs. Aztken, Dumfries. 5 Cheyne Row: October, 1849, My dear Jane, — Your letter was one of the letters that one feels a desire to answer the instant one is done reading it — an out-of-the-heart letter, that one's own heart (if one happen to have one) jumps to meet. But writing, with Mr. C. waiting for his tea, was, as you will easily admit, a moral impossibility; and- after tea there were certain accursed flannel shirts (Oh ! the AN UNCHANGED HEART 209 alterations that have been made on them!) to ' piece ! ' and yes- terday, when I made sure of writing you a long letter, I had a headache, and durst not either write or read, for fear of having to go to bed with it. To-day, I write; but with no leisure, though I have no ' small clothes ' to make — nor any disturbance in that line (better for me if I had); still I get into as great bustles, occasionally, as if I were the mother of a fine boisterous family. Did you hear that I found bugs in my red bed on my return ? I, who go mad where a bug is! and that bed ' such an harbour for them ' — as the upholsterer said ! Of course, I had it pulled in pieces at once, and the curtains sent to the dyeing — at immense expense — and ever since I have been lying in the cold nights between four tall, bare posts, feeling like a patient in a London hospital. To-day, at last, two men are here putting up my curtains, and making mistakes whenever I stay many minutes away from them; and as soon as their backs are turned, I have to go off several miles in an omnibus to see Thackeray, who has been all but dead, and is still confined to his room, and who has written a line to ask me to come and see him. And I have a great sympathy always with, and show all the kindness in my power to, sick people — having so much sickness myself, and knowing how much kindness then is gratifying to me. So, you see, dear, it is not the right moment for writing you the letter that is lying in my heart for you. But I could not, under any circumstances, refrain from telling you that your letter was very, very welcome ; that the tears ran down my face over it — though Mr. C. was sitting opposite, and would have scolded me for 'sentimentality,' if he had seen me crying over kind words merely; and that I have read it three times, and carried it in my pocket ever since I got it, though my rule is to burn all letters ! Oh, yes ! there is no change in me, so far as affection goes, depend upon that ! But there are other changes, which give me the look of a very cold and hard woman generally ! I durst not let myself talk to you at Scotsbrig, and, now that the opportunity is passed, I almost wish I had ! But I think it not likely, if I live, that I will be long of returning to Scotland. All that true, simple, pious kindness that I found stored up for 2 lO LIFE IN LONDON me there, ought to be turned to more account in my life. What have I more precious ? Please burn this letter — I mean, don't hand it to the rest; there is a circulation of letters in families that frightens me from writing often: it is so dificult to write a circular to one ! . . . For me, I am really better; though I may say, in pass- ing, that Mr. C.'s ' decidedly stronger' is never to be depended on in any account he gives of me, as, so long as I can stand on my legs, he never notices that anything ails me: and I make a point of never complaining to him unless in case of absolute extremity. But I have, for the last week, been sleeping pretty well, and able to walk again, which I had not been up to since my return. About the bonnet: send it by any opportunity you find, just as it is: I can trim very nicely myself, and, perhaps, might not like Miss Montgomery's colour. But I cannot have it for nothing, dear ! If Miss G. won't take money, I must find some other way of paying her. God bless you, dear Jane, and all yours ! Remember me to James: and never doubt my affection for yourself, as I shall never doubt yours for me. Ever, J. W. C* In this letter Mrs. Carlyle delineated herself truly when she said, * There is no change in me, so far as affection goes. . . . But there are other changes.' There were changes unseen by mortal eye, but telling their stern record to the Unseen Listener perhaps ! There may have been, at this time, a desperate longing after a fuller life — an impatience of discordant and hopeless realities — the * Shall I go on, or no ? ' so simply written, but the fruit of such complicated difficulties in human lives. Unchanged in her old attach- ments and her lasting powers of tenderness, she certainly was. Thackeray, who had been dangerously ill, had asked Mrs. Carlyle to come and see him; and she, sick and suffer- ing herself, was promptly setting out on the kind errand. Mrs. Aitken's letter had brought the tears to Mrs. * See ' Letters and Memorials,' Vol. II. Letter 117. SILENT PK0TES7' 2 I I Carl)'le's eyes. She spoke truly as to many outward mani- festations; but our own opinion, founded no less upon these letters than on intimate conversation with many who knew and loved her, causes us vehemently to protest against harsh judgment being formed of her. She never complained to her husband — what woman of spirit would have done so ? She fought her fight out, in more or less loneliness, 'alongside ' of a man who truly loved her, but was incapable of showing her the tenderness she needed. He himself was conscious, at times, of a want in himself, dimly and vaguely felt and never put into words. The time for deeds was past, while she, driven in on herself, was intent on doing her part, making no sign, save by scornful and bitter manifestations, which were unlikely to draw tenderness out of any man, least of all out of Thomas Carlyle ! Very characteristic is a note written by Mrs. Carlyle to John Forster in November 1849, beginning piously, * God's will be done, dear Mr. Forster,' in regard of an invitation to meet Mr. Dickens, which Mrs. Carlyle was too ill to accept. She goes on: *If one said otherwise, // tvould do itself all the same.' A book she here mentions as by a young authoress, is, presumably, * John Halifax,' whose beloved and accomplished writer, afterwards Mrs. Craik, became an in- timate friend of Mrs. Carlyle, as time went on. Mrs, Carlyle's comment on Miss Mulock's book, which we suppose to have been 'John Halifax,' is too significant to be passed over. Writing to Forster again in December 1849, after thanking him for the book, she says, 'It quite reminds one of one's own "love's young dream." I like it, and I like the poor girl who can still believe, or even "believe that she believes," all that. God help her ! . . .' About this time a much humbler element of happiness entered her saddened life, in the shape of the little dog ' Nero,' who was an attached pet of Mrs. Carlyle's, and who lies buried in the garden at Cheyne Row, after ten years of companionship, such as dogs sometimes know how to give. 2 I 2 LIFE IN LONDON In December, Mrs. Carlyle begins a note to John Forster, 'I died ten days ago, and was buried at Kensal Green — at least, you have no certainty to the contrary. . . . ' This was a reminder of an unkept promise to visit her when she needed cheering. A sad letter to Mrs. Russell, of Thornhill, marks the last day of 1849. Nervous suffering had almost conquered the brave spirit of Jane Welsh Carlyle; she had been detained in Manchester by severe illness, when anticipating a joyful though necessarily short visit to Miss Jewsbury ; and she had fallen intoa lassitude, inevitable after such prolonged suffering. The little dog 'Nero' is mentioned as a relieving novelty; but the clouds drew close about that bright personality, so ready to shine out with the smallest encouragement, under circumstances that should be congenial; too few, alas ! in that life so heavily handicapped. It was in January 1850 that Carlyle paid a short visit to The Grange, — Robert Lowe, Delane (of the * Times '), with Monckton Milnes, being the other guests. Lady Ashburton had playfully given Carlyle the designation of * Boreas ' about this time. No letter was received by him from his wife on this occasion, save the graceful and clever one written as from little Nero, which we quote from 'Letters and Memorials:' To T. Carlyle, The Grajige, Alresford, Hants. 5 Cheyne Row, Chelsea: Tuesday, Jan, 29, 1S50. Dear Master, — I take the liberty to write to you myself (my mistress being out of the way of writing to you she says) that you may know Columbine and I are quite well, and play about as usual. There was no dinner yesterday to speak of; I had for my share only a piece of biscuit that might have been round the world; and if Columbine got anything at all, I didn't see it. I made a grab at one of two ' small beings ' on my mistress's plate; she called them heralds of the morn; but my mistress said, ' Don't you wish you may get it ? ' and boxed my ears. I wasn't taken to walk on account of its being wet. And nobody came, 'NERO'S' LETTERS 213 but a man for ' burial rate; ' and my mistress gave him a rowing, because she wasn't going to be buried here at all. Columbine and I don't mind where we are buried. This is a fine day for a run; and I hope I may be taken to see Mohe and Dumm. They are both nice well-bred dogs, and always so glad to see me; and the parrot is great fun, when I spring at her; and Mrs. Lindsay has always such a lot of bones, and doesn't mind Mohe and Dumm and me eating them on the carpet. I like Mrs. Lindsay very much. Tuesday evening. Dear Master, — My mistress brought my chain, and said ' Come along with me, while it shined, and I could finish after.' But she kept me so long in the London Library, and other places, that I had to miss the post. An old gentleman in the omnibus took such notice of me ! He looked at me a long time, and then turned to my mistress, and said 'Sharp, isn't he?' And my mistress was so good as to say, ' Oh yes ! ' And then the old gentleman said again, ' I knew it ! easy to see that ! ' And he put his hand in his hind-pocket, and took out a whole biscuit, a sweet one, and gave it me in bits. I was quite sorry to part from him, he was such a good judge of dogs. Mr. Greig from Canadagua and his wife left cards while we were out. Colum- bine said she saw them through the blind, and they seemed nice people. Wednesday. I left off, last night, dear master, to be washed. This morn- ing I have seen a note from you, which says you will come to- morrow. Columbine and I are extremely happy to hear it; for then there will be some dinner to come and go on. Being to see you so soon, no more at present from your Obedient little dog, Nero. This same little dog had been lost for a day, and ' floods of tears ' shed over his absence. He and the cat, ' Colum- bine,' were a merry pair of playthings, though Mrs. Carlyle had said that Nero was, of course, neither so pretty nor so clever as ' Shandy,' of whom Carlyle had written to Miss Welsh in 1822 that he was 'a dog of worth, undoubtedly.' 2 1 4 LIFE IN LOND ON Poor Shandy is not quite forgotten, for Lieutenant-Colonel David Davidson, in his charming ' Memories of a Long Life ' (Douglas, Edinburgh, 1890), gives a portrait of the animal, the work of one of those itinerant artists so often seen in those days. This one, Brooks, had been engaged to paint the boy brothers of Colonel Davidson,* and Shandy had been borrowed of Mrs. Welsh to give effect to the group. More interesting is Colonel Davidson's vivid recollections of Mrs. Carlyle herself, as he knew her before he went to India, at the age of sixteen, she being some few years older. < I see her now,^ he says, < her raven locks and dark, liquid eyes, contrasting with her fair complexion; and features which, if not quite regular, yet flashed with bright intel- ligence, softened in tender sympathy, or sparkled with the choicest fun.' Times were changed in 1850. 'The mould was smelled above the rose,' the tint was that of long suffering and struggle. Lady Ashburton, gay and full of smartness, had given Mrs. Carlyle the name of ' Agrippina ' at this time, since Nero was her companion; but the joke must have failed to arouse much real merriment in Mrs. Carlyle, who was craving of Mrs. Russell, of Thornhill, *a slip of the Temp- land sweetbriar,' in memory of that mother whose loss was never forgotten. In March, Mrs. Carlyle spent a few days at Addiscombe, and wrote to ' Master Nero ' under cover to T. Carlyle, Esq., words half sweet, half bitter, calling him * My poor orphan ! my dear good little dog !' but adding, ' The lady for whom I abandoned you — to whoftt all family ties yield — is pretty well again, as far as I can see.' In a letter to Mrs. Aitken, written in April, she says: * My " beau-ideal " of existence this long while has been growing further and further from that ''getting on," or rather "^^/on," in society which is the aim of so much female aspiration and effort.' Here, again, she speaks of Nero, and * See Appendix. LONDON SOCIETY AND ITS LIMITATIONS 215 says she is * no longer alone any more.' But surely a closer and dearer companionship was needed by the sensitive and delicate woman, beloved whenever she was truly understood, and open to the least touch of human tenderness. Mrs. Carlyle found London society rather hard work. She would have taken much delight in the slip of Templand sweetbriar, sent duly by kind Mrs. Russell, but it was * past hope,' having ' hurried itself to put out leaves when it should have been quietly taking root — a procedure,' she adds, * not confined to sweetbriars ! * Her bitter view of London society tells of sad unhappiness at her own heart, for London society is very excellent and pleasant and desirable, to those who bring the requisite state of mind, and has as often, we sup- pose, served as a panacea and antidote, as it has caused re- vilings such as are showered upon it by this suffering lady. ' People dare not let themselves think or feel in this centre of frivolity and folly,' she writes in July 1850; 'they would go mad if they did, and universally commit suicide.' On the last day of this month, Carlyle, having finished the * Latter Day Pamphlets,' went off to Wales, ' solitary and silent,' his wife still in weak health. ' Not much of it,' she had written to Mrs. Russell, ' but I make it do !^ Her letters to her husband at this period were not enlivening, sparkling as they are with native wit and originality. Again the ' beaming spirits ' of callers are complained of, the silence and sadness of others found equally hard to bear. ' Took morphine last night,' she writes on August 4 to her husband, * and slept some. . . .' Towards the end of that month she writes to him: Yes! yes! I have composed myself — am quiet. You shall have no more wail or splutter from me on this occasion. If I had been an able-bodied woman, instead of a thoroughly broken- down one, I should surely have had sense and reticence enough not to fret you, in your seclusion, with details of my household money. ... I was really no more responsible for what I wrote than a person in a brain fever would have been. , . . 2 I 6 LIFE IN L OND ON Truly * the grasshopper had become a burden ' to Mrs. Carlyle. The house needed some ordinary cleaning, but it is not often that ' sweeps, white-washers, and carpet-beaters ' cause such distraction to the lady of the house. Mrs. Carlyle was ill, and unfit for the least annoyance. It was, literally, to her as ' the Sack of Troy,' relieved at times by the reading of new books, and successful games of chess with Anthony Sterling. The early return to town of Erasmus Darwin in September brightened her a little, and a three hours' visit from Elisabeth Pepoli soothed her, but proved a farewell — unsuspected at the time by Mrs. Carlyle, who adds later: ' Alas ! what a way to part ! ' Carlyle was now at Scotsbrig, and had innocently asked his ever-attentive wife for some ' buttons ' not attainable where he was. He had assured her that if the buttons arrived on Wednesday they would be in abundant time. To which her sharp reply is, ' I should think they would, and '' don't you wish you may get them ? " ' Two months of house- hold ' earthquaking ' had left her weak and irritable. The buttons were, no doubt, bought and sent at the earliest pos- sible moment. Carlyle was about to return from Scotland and Mrs. Carlyle going on a visit to the Grange. That she felt for his sensitiveness and what it entailed on him, is touchingly ap- parent in a letter to him, dated September 23, when he was still at Scotsbrig. Alas! dear (she writes), I am very sorry for you. You, as well as I, are too vivid; to you as well as to me has a skin been given much too thin for the rough purposes of human life. ... It does not at all raise my spirits that you are likely to arrive here (at Cheyne Row) in my absence. You may be better without me as far as my company goes. I make, myself, no illusion on that head. . . . God knows how gladly I would be sweet-tem- pered, and cheerful-hearted, and all that sort of thing, for your single sake, if my temper were not soured and my heart saddened beyond my own power to mend them. A FEMININE IMPULSE 21 7 • And Carlyle, also soured and saddened, was incapable of binding up those wounds; all his love, and he did love her in his own way, was powerless to make her happy. We think there was a deeper understanding between those two isolated natures than the world could ever know of, and that the long years of faithful holding together tell of it, to those who can enter reverently within the veil, though hardly perhaps to that much larger class who would ' rush in where angels fear to tread.' The visit to the Grange, another of those small martyr- doms undergone by Mrs. Carlyle to please her husband, began early in October; and the first sensation of the guest on arrival was a disposition to lay her head down on the table and cry; her next impulse, the wild one of taking the next train back to Chelsea and her husband. But the knowledge that either step would be thought ' ridiculous,' quenched the two longings effectually. She had some sweet thoughts in her lonely, sleepless hours. It was only in August that her husband had written to her, * Thanks to thee — oh ! know that I have thanked thee sometimes in my silent hours as no words could ! . . . . the thing that is in my heart is known, or can be known, to the Almighty Maker alone ! ' But to take real, daily human comfort from such words as these, unaccompanied by those manifestations so dear to a human heart — the look, the kiss, the touch with love in it — would have been asking too much; and the gap remained, the loneliness, the desolation; and though some of us may smile at some of Carlyle's 'miseries,' no one, we think, certainly no true woman, can see just cause for the half- pitying judgment, made by some, on the long-drawn-out mental and bodily suffering of Mrs. Carlyle. He wrote to her on his arrival at Scotsbrig that he was * a very unthankful, ill-conditioned, bilious, wayward and heartworn son of Adam.' And we can only respectfully con- clude that it was with him as he said. A short visit to friends in Cumberland brought his holiday 2 1 8 LIFE IN LONDON to a close; he had promised his wife to be as amiable as he could on his return; and in answer to her bitter regret that her company was now become so useless to him, had said, * Oh, if you could but cease being conscious of what your company is to me.' Thoughts of his ' poor Goody ' blotted out the fine scenery of the Lake district; Carlyle felt himself most miserable — begging pity and pardon from poor ' Goody, whom God bless ' CHAPTER XXII A. D. 1851-1853 Carlyle's visit to the Marslialls — Tennyson and his bride — Disgust at the Exhibition of 1851 — Visit to Malvern — Verdict thereon — Miss Gully's letter — Mrs. Carlyle again at the Grange — Repairs at Cheyne Row — Visit to Macready — Carlyle's ' Life of Frederick' — He sails for Rotterdam — A serious undertaking — Mrs. Carlyle visits Lady Ashburton — Carlyle's second German tour — Discom- forts — Return to 5 Cheyne Row of Mrs. Carlyle — Further ' earthquakings ' — A second visit of Mrs. Carlyle to the Lady Ashburton — Sleeplessness — Depression — The old letter — Car- lyle's return — Commencement of ' Frederick' — Mrs. Carlyle with the John Carlyles at Moffat — Return to softer conditions at Chelsea. It was at the Marshalls', at Coniston, that Carlyle met Tennyson, then lately married, and approved Mrs. Tennyson's wit, sense, and * glittering blue eyes;' * augured,' in fact, 'well of the adventure.' But his own faithful wife was distracted at his return in her absence. She would have rushed back from the Grange to meet him. Carlyle would not hear of this, nor would Lady Ashburton. Prepared for a lonely home, he says, ' I shall know better than ever I did what the com- fort is, to me, of being received by you when I arrive worn out, and you welcome me with your old smiles. . . .* As a compromise, Carlyle accepted Lady Ashburton's proposal that he should spend a short time at the Grange with his wife before finally settling down in Chelsea for the winter. It was an unhappy time with Carlyle, the oft-times suspected < Nadir ' of his fortunes was felt to be in full force. He felt 'lonely, shut up,' — silently prayed for ivork, his one solace on earth. It was the middle of October before the Carlyles were again at Cheyne Row. A quiet winter was marked for Mrs. 219 2 2 O LIFE IN L OND ON Carlyle by rather better health; and Christmas found her busy with kindly gifts to old servants and pensioners in Scotland; Mrs. Russell being her sympathetic almoner in these deeds of love, A painful accident, which caused her to strike her chest against the end of the sofa, caused some little dis- quietude, but the apprehension was presumably out of pro- portion to the actual injury. Early in 1851, the visit of a highly sentimental young lady, whose guardians desired to place her with the Carlyles, dis- turbed Mrs. Carlyle very much. The young lady seems to have simplified matters by making an early marriage, to the relief of perplexed guardians and friends. Mrs. Carlyle tells her uncle, John Welsh: * Indeed, you can have no notion how the whole routine of this quiet house was tumbled heels- over-head. It had been, for three days and three nights, not Jonah in the whale's belly, but the whale in Jonah's belly. . . .' In the same letter is an account of a visit to Pentonville Prison, equally inimitable in its caustic satire. The * solitary system' might not have been bad for Carlyle, who, in the spring of this same year confides to his Journal that he is * weak, very irritable too,' and that it would be best for him to be set to work * maistly in a place by himsel'.' The latter expression is quoted from a * half-mad friend of James Aitken.' Human help, as Mr. Froude says, there could be none. His disgust at the Exhibition of 1851 drove him and his wife to Malvern, where for a few weeks he was the guest of Dr. Gully — ' paid his tax to contemporary stupor, and found by degrees that water, taken as medicine, was the most destructive drug he ever tried.' A letter written many years afterwards by Miss Ellen Gully, daughter of Dr. Gully, gives some interesting personal impressions. The letter was written to the wife of a Unita- rian minister in Southport. I have been wanting to talk to you about the Carlyles (she writes), but have never had time. ... I read the * Reminis- cences,' and I thought it a melancholy production . . , it was OPINIONS OF AN ' OUTSIDER ' 22 I very interesting, and it was well to let it be known that he regretted his selfishness to his wife, but his groans (in Italian) and endearing expressions concerning her, I think it was a mistake to print. . . . Why should a spendid, bad-tempered man have all his impulsive sayings and doings criticised, while worth- less humorous fellows, whose only business is to attend to the ' etiquettes,' and who would make a faultless picture, are allowed to rest in their graves ? Many of Carlyle's sayings which I have since seen complained of as vindictive and ungrateful, were, I feel certain, said only in a humorous way to raise a laugh in which he himself would join. ... I think Carlyle ought never to have married anybody — he ought to have lived alone and had a good cook. Mrs. Carlyle was wasted on him entirely, and thrown into a sphere of life and duties for which she was quite unsuited — he, in his richest days, would never have more than one servant {this was afterwards changed), and you know how servants-of-all-work cook; and he, dyspeptic, tore his hair if the meat was tough. Their hospitality was beautiful . . . they neither of them cared a bit about food, only he could not digest common cookery! . . . I don't myself see that he had any right to indulge in the delight of a witty wife, and yet indulge in his idiosyncrasy of only having one cheap servant. ... I must admit that he was, at times, selfish and not kind to his wife, when we knew them. Totally inconsiderate of her health — I remember one or two occasions, on which she, suffering far more than he, was sent journeys by him in order to secure his comforts. . . . So much for Miss Gully's opinions, which no doubt sprang from a close and sympathetic observation. And in writing of a woman, it is well sometimes to know what another woman thinks ! The month at Malvern over, Carlyle fled to Scotsbrig, and his wife to her kind and loving friends, the Jewsburys, at Manchester; being determined to keep up some little rem- nant of * water cure ' all the same. She speaks warmly of the Gullys in her first letter to Carlyle, dated September 5, 1851. * The more I think of these people,' she says, * the more I admire their politeness and kindness to us.' December found Mrs. Carlyle again at the Grange, much 22 2 LIFE IN L OND ON depressed by three weeks' bad cold contracted there, much exercised in her mind as to customary gifts to her poor friends at Dumfries, and again turning to Mrs, Russell, of Thornhill, whose ready kindliness never failed her. It is amusing to read that Mrs. Carlyle, Avho had been seeing much of Macaulay at this time, admits that, for ' copious talk- ing, he beats Carlyle hollow,' — but not in quality, apparently. The year 1852 opened dismally enough with * repairs ' of the house in Cheyne Row. We are left to wonder why two people ' without incumbrance,' did not straightway walk into some other house, 'ready swept and garnished,' sooner than undertake what is called 'thorough repair,' when it entailed so much inevitable suffering ! But we conclude that they would rather 'dree their weird,' or that no other idea ever occurred to them. Mrs, Carlyle writes in the summer of 1852, to Mrs, Russell, of Thornhill, as to this new 'earth- quaking. She was, as she says, ' needed to keep the work- men from falling into continual mistakes,' but it was a relief to her when Carlyle went off to Mr. Erskine of Linlathen ! Mrs. Carlyle was tired out. ' If you saw me,' she writes to Mrs, Russell, ' sitting in the midst of falling bricks and clouds of lime-dust, and a noise as of battering-rams, you wouldn't wonder that I make my letter brief.' The dying off of the little Templand sweet-briar just now grieved her ! ' I am vexed,' she says, ' and can't help feeling the sweet-briar's unwillingness to grow with me; a bad omen, somehow.' Mrs. Carlyle's letters to her husband at this time have something of despair, almost of desperation, in them. Her visit to the dying Mrs. Macready is told with deep and simple pathos. The omens were not hopeful as to her own health, cheery as are her accounts of herself. The journey was a long one to Sherborne, via Frome, and Mrs. Carlyle says she rendered herself at Paddington station with a bag on one arm and her ' blessed ' (Nero) in a basket on the other. In August, Mazzini's mother died, and again the ofifice of THE PLAN OF 'FREDERICK' 223 consoler fell on her to whom it was, perhaps, one of the few consolations she was susceptible of, in her weak and weary state. And now Carlyle's mighty and restless spirit had at length conceived another design. He would write the Life of Frederick the Great, and with a view to collecting mate- rial, started from the port of Leith, on board the Rotterdam steamer en route for Bonn, and other places, on August 30, 1852. ' For Carlyle to write a book on Frederick' — as Mr. Froude justly says — 'would involve the reading of a moun- tain of books, memoirs, journals, state-papers. The work with Cromwell would be child's play to it ' — and so it proved ! That tremendous book made prolonged and entire devasta- tion of any satisfactory semblance of home-life, or home- happiness. It was in December of 1851 that Lady Ashburton asked Mrs. Carlyle to spend that month with her, Carlyle being buried in * Jomuni and the Seven Years' War.' It was not easy for Mrs. Carlyle to accept, with due graciousness, this well-meant invitation, and she took counsel with Dr. John Carlyle. 'Heaven knows,' she wrote, 'what is to be said from me individually ! If I refuse this time, she will quarrel with me outright ! That is her way, and, as quarrelling with her would involve also quarrelling with Mr. C, it is not a thing to be done lightly.' Mrs. Carlyle went, however, to the Grange, while her husband remained shut up with his preliminary work. He managed later to join his wife at the Grange, and finished the year there. Six months of comparative quiet followed before Carlyle sailed again for Rotterdam on a second German tour, in August 1852. A characteristic anecdote occurs prior to this voyage in a letter from Mrs. Carlyle to the mother at Scotsbrig. Carlyle had been suffering from indisposition, it would seem, and said to the servant, ' I should like tea for breakfast this morning, but you need not hurry* The fact was, he wished a little extra time for his ablutions, 224 LIFE IN LONDON but the servant was much agitated, and thought it such an unlikely thing for the master to say, that ' it quite made her flesh creep.' And now Carlyle was grappling with the discomforts of foreign travel, and his wife had paid another visit to Ad- discombe, returning, sleepless and fatigued, to temporary lodgings at No. 2 Cheyne Row, her weary feet finding no rest. In September, she was again in her own chaos at No. 5, and straightway took regularly ill, * in desperate agony, with a noise going on around me like the crack of doom. . . . I have passed a good many bad days in this world, but certainly never one so utterly wretched from mere physical and mental causes as yesterday.' This was her own sad account. It may be contended that mere inconvenience ought not to produce such dire consequences. In a healthy system the effects would be different, no doubt, but disease had made sad inroads on Mrs. Carlyle's nervous powers, and she simply spoke of things as she felt them, the true test of effect, and so far of absolute y^c/, in such matters. That there are people who love the sound of the * hurdy-gurdy ' at night, and of the early cock at dawn, did not prevent poor John Leech dying of London noises. It was in this year that Dr. John Carlyle was engaged to be married, and Mrs. Carlyle's comment is that, 'having known each other for fifteen years, it is possible they mayn't be marrying on a basis of fiction.' Facts were present to her, poor soul, when she lay on her back, 'in an agony,' directing and hounding on the workmen who were to make 5 Cheyne Row a comfortable and desirable residence for Mr. Carlyle on his return. On September 13, 1852, Mrs. Carlyle had been hearing from her husband, and writes, 'What a pity you can't get any good sleep,' adding, 'It is not German beds only, however, that one cannot get sleep in. Three nights ago, in despera- tion, I took a great dose of morphia for the same state of 4 A DIFFICULT QUESTION 225 things, and was thankful to get four hours of something like forgetfulness by that "questionable" means!' Thomas Erskine of Linlathen had been writing to Mrs. Carlyle that 'he loved her much, and wished he could see what God intended her for ! ' Her answer, as quoted by herself to Carlyle, is a sad one. I answered his letter (she says), begging him to tell me ' what God intended me for,' since he knew and I didn't. It would be a satisfaction even to know it. It is surely a kind of impiety to speak of God as if He, too, were ' with the best intentions always unfortunate.' Either I am just what God intended me for, or God cannot ' carry out ' His intentions, it would seem. And in that case I, for 'one solitary individual,' can't worship Him the least in the world. Some lives seem so dedicated to inevitable suffering that we can only bow the head and refrain from explanations — any mere matter-of-fact discussion on the subject is useless. Long histories of petty domestic worries, crushing enough in their way, and needless to dwell on here, fill many of these letters to Carlyle. Workmen had been dilatory, and Mrs. Carlyle says, on October 5, to her husband: 'I have not a word of comfort to give; I am wearied and sad and cross, and feel as if death had been dissolved into a liquid and I had drunk of it till I was full ! Good gracious ! that wet paint should have the power of poisoning one's soul as well as one's body ! ' It is not always thus, surely; but here was a soul and body ill-attuned, sick, sad, lonely. Turning over some boxfuls of old letters, Mrs. Carlyle came upon Dr. Welsh's ' Day-Book,' removed the cover, and found a large letter lying inside, addressed to her in her mother's handwriting — 'with three unbroken seals of her ring.' It was not, alas ! the wished-for letter of farewell,' but contained the deed making over Craigenputtock to Mrs. Welsh, executed some time before the marriage to Thomas Carlyle, to whom, on the mother's death, the prop- erty had again been legally transferred. 226 LIFE IN L OND ON A few words, only, from the mother's hand, were written in the envelope of this unexpectedly found letter. ' When this comes into your possession, my dearest child, do not forget my sister. G. W., Templand: May, 1827.' That gentle sister had long passed away — and Mrs. Carlyle could do nothing all the day after finding the letter but weep, with that saddest grief which attends the past and the irretrievable. The breaking-in of thieves into the unfinished house was quite a healthy diversion compared with such sadness — and Mrs. Carlyle's account to Dr. John Carlyle of this latter event is truly excellent reading. In December she writes, on the last day of the year: To Mrs. Russell, Thor7ihill. 5 Cheyne Row: Friday, Dec. 31, 1852. My dear Mrs, Russell, — Here is another year; God help us all ! I hope it finds you better than when I last heard of you from my friends at Auchtertool. I have often been meaning to write to you without waiting for a New Year's Day; but in all my life I never have been so driven off all letter-writing as since the repairs began in this house. There were four months of that confusion, which ended quite romantically, in my having to sleep with loaded pistols at my bedside ! the smell of paint making it as much as my life was worth to sleep with closed windows, and the thieves having become aware of the state of the premises. Once they got in and stole some six pounds' worth of things, before they were frightened away by a candlestick falling and making what my Irish maid called ' a devil of a row,' it was rather to be called ' an angel of a row,' as it saved further depredation. Another time they climbed up to the drawing- room windows, and found them fastened, for a wonder ? Another night I was alarmed by a sound as of a pane of glass cut, and leapt out of bed, and struck a light, and listened, and heard the same sound repeated, and then a great bang, like breaking in some panel. I took one of my loaded pistols, and went down- Stairs, and then another bang which I perceived was at the front TRANSIENT PEA CE 227 door. 'What do you want?' I asked; 'who are you?' 'It's the policeman, if you please; do you know that your parlour windows are both open ? ' It was true ! I had forgotten to close them, and the policeman had first tried the bell, which made the shivering sound, the wire being detached from the bell, and when he found he could not ring it he had beaten on the door with his stick, the knocker also being off while it was getting painted. I could not help laughing at what the man's feelings would have been had he known of the cocked pistol within a few inches of him. All that sort of thing, and much else more disagreeable, and less amusing, quite took away all my spirit for writing; then, when Mr. C returned from Germany, we went to the Grange for some weeks; then when I came home, and the workmen were actually out of the house, there was everything to look for, and be put in its place, and really things are hardly in their places up to this hour. Heaven defend me from ever again having any house I live in ' made habitable ! ' Carlyle had returned from Germany, in October, ' half dead . . . out of those German horrors of insomnia, indi- gestion, and continued chaotic wretchedness.' He really reminds usof a definition of the term ^ a /np/iibious,' occurrmg, we think, in one of Dickens's works — as applied to a crea- ture which ' cannot live in the water, and dies on the land.' Carlyle fled upstairs to his poor ' Heroic Helper,' and found that ' she, too, is fighting, has not conquered, that beast of a task, undertaken voluntarily for one unworthy. . . .' A short visit to the Grange ended this chaotic state of things, and, once more, 5 Cheyne Row was free of workmen and some peace was possible ! And now began the actual work of ' Frederick,' which occupied the early months of 1853, and was only completed in January 1865. In July Mrs. Carlyle had gone off to Moffat, where John Carlyle, now married, had taken a house — and, strange to say, there was still painting to be done in Cheyne Row. It was a ghastly time to the over-sensitive Carlyle — the smell of the paint and the crowing of * quite newly-invented cocks' in the long, light summer mornings ! ' And above and below 2 28 LIFE IN LONDON' all, the want of ' sweet accord ' between the married pair ! *Oh Jeannie,' he wrote to her, 'you know nothing about me just now ! . . your lynx-eyes do not reach into the inner region of me, and know not what is in my heart — what, on the whole, always was and will always be there. I wish you did ! I wish you did ! ' Sitting all alone in his Chelsea garden he meditated on his miseries; in one letter eloquently dilating on them, in the next apologising for his weakness. ' But what could I do ? ' he said, ' fly for shelter to my mammy, like a poor infant with its finger cut; complain in my distress to the one heart that used to be open to me } ' ' Greater than man, less than woman,' as Essex said of Queen Elizabeth. The cocks were locked up next door,and the fireworks at Cremorne were silent, and the rain fell and cooled the July air; and Carlyle slept, and the universe became once more tolerable.* * From Froude's Histoiy of Carlyle' s Life in London, Vol. ii. p. 131. CHAPTER XXIII A. D. 1853-1856 Declining health of old Mrs. Carlyle at Scotsbrig — Mrs. Carlyle hastens to her — Womanly tenderness — The danger staved off — ■ Return to Chelsea — Death of John Welsh of Liverpool — Visit of the Carlyles to the Grange — The ' soundless ' room at Chelsea — Return of JMrs. Carlyle — Noises — Death of Helen Welsh — Death of Carlyle's mother — Wifely sympathy — Miss Jewsbury comes to live in London — Miss Fox — Mazzini's farewell — Mrs. Carlyle's Journal — Deep misery — Sympathy — Budget of a ' Femme Incom- prise.' At this time the good old mother at Scotsbrig shev^^ed signs of fatal decline. The tidings of anxiety reached Mrs. Carlyle at Moffat, where she was still the guest of Dr. and Mrs. John Carlyle. Only a few days before she had been humor- ously complaining of being kept awake on the night of her arrival by ' a Jivoena, ' escaped from some travelling menagerie, then she had had a narrow escape of accident on the steep slope of a hill, but the greater trouble was to come. It was in a letter to Mrs. Braid (the much- loved old servant 'Betty,') dated July 13th 1853, that Mrs. Carlyle speaks of this anxiety. ' He (Carlyle),' she writes, ' is very melancholy and helpless, left alone, at the best of times; and now, I am afraid, he is going to have a great sorrow in the death of his old mother.' Mrs. Carlyle, with true womanly tenderness, hurried away from Moffat to assist in nursing, and wrote beautiful and comforting letters to her husband, which were thoroughly appreciated by him. The immediate alarm passed, and Mrs. Carlyle was able to return safely to Chelsea, breaking her 229 230 LIFE IiV LONDON journey at Liverpool, weeping much on her way thither, partly, no doubt, from over-strain and fatigue, and partly at the wrench it always gave her to leave her beloved Scotland. Carlyle in his annotation upon this letter says — ' feet bleed- ing by the way, over the thorns of this bewildered earth.' In the letter to her husband, just quoted from, Mrs. Carlyle says, ' Thanks for never neglecting ' It was in October that John Welsh of Maryland Street died, to the grief of all who knew him. Mrs. Carlyle, writing to his daughter Helen, says: ' It was well he should die thus, gently and beautifully, with all his loving kindness fresh as a young man's; his enjoyment of life not wearied out; all our love for him as warm as ever. . . .' And now came the anything but soundless building of a supposed * soundless ' room for Carlyle to write in, he having reached, on August 1853, another 'nadir' of suffering ! The Carlyles both then betook themselves to the Grange for Christmas, after occupying Addiscombe alone for some weeks previously at the kind request of the Ashburtons. The first 'silent apartment had turned out the noisiest in the house, with infernal additions of cocks and macaws.' Two days rest here, at the Grange (for Mrs. Carlyle), were cut short by an awkward accident in the shape of a blow on the head, which shocked the nerves and took away sleep, and ended, somewhat unexpectedly, in her retiring to look after the difficulties in Chelsea. The clever woman had the keepers of nuisances legally bound down to silence by means of a timely five-pound note, and a written agreement with penalty attached. But news of Helen Welsh's death arrived almost at the same time, she having survived her father but a few weeks. It was within a week of Christmas that Carlyle, still at the Grange, had distinctly worse news of his mother, and hurried away to Scotsbrig. In his Journal of January 8th, 1854, he writes: ' The stroke has fallen, my dear old mother is gone from me ! ' There was yet time for a brief farewell, tr ue s ympa th y 231 The womanly sweetness with which Mrs. Carlyle writes to her husband on this bereavement tells its own sure tale. Oh, my dear (she writes), never does one feel oneself so utterly helpless as in trying to speak comfort for great bereavements. I will not try it. . . . And yet all griefs, when there is no bitter- ness in them, are soothed down by Time. And your grief for your mother must be altogether sweet and soft. You must feel that you have always been a good son to her; that you have always appreciated her as she deserved, and that she knew this, and loved you to the last moment . . . made doubly sure to you by her last look and words. Oh! what would I have given for last words, to keep in my innermost heart all the rest of my life. . . . But the infinite distance lay between them. Carlyle, probably, felt anything but the calming assur- ance suggested by his wife. It is not natural or possible in the first days of piercing pain! but the tie between him and his mother had been no ordinary one, and there was a deep loneliness in his heart. The year 1854 was spent almost entirely in London. The book on 'Frederick' loomed, as a huge thundercloud, over that little horizon. The offer of quarters at the Grange was not favourably received, and the July heats found the Carlyles still in London. We cannot feel that Mrs. Carlyle ever took kindly to the ' purple and fine linen ' of those in more opulent circum- stances than was she herself. Muddy boots and a soaked mackintosh met a more cordial welcome from her, as a rule, than did the daintily dressed occupant of a cosy brougham, with its pair of high-stepping greys. It was not snobbish- ness, not envy; but it v/as an indubitable fact, and had its root in pride, in conscious superiority, in the sense of being the second and not the first person in some of her guests' minds. So we think. Again, there were the deep, un- quenchable attachments to old home associations, which she could share with Mrs. Russell or ' Old Betty,' but not with ^32 LIFE IN L OND ON any of the fine, fashionable folk who now surrounded her. So she was sensitive at the inhabiting of the Grange during the absence of its owners — dreaded ' the five housemaids,' and it was, after all, not very surprising that it should be so. A bright prospect was now held out in the intention of Miss Jewsbury to come and live in London, ' a real gain' as Mrs. Carlyle puts it. And it was always a refreshment, even to outsiders like ourselves, to come in contact with that bright and unique personality. The Crimean War haunted Mrs. Carlyle day and night. Near relative she had none, in danger, but there was Colonel Sterling to be thought of, and she says in November 1854 to Mrs. Russell : '■ I read the list of killed and wounded always with a sick dread of finding his name.' So Carlyle struggled through the dark, gloomy days with his '■ unexecutable book '; and Mrs. Carlyle, after vainly look- ing for a suitable seaside cottage, finally decided to remain at Chelsea, and did so, over-worn, fatigued, and sleepless ! We are forced to remember that Mrs. Carlyle could not be what is called happy anywhere, whatever may have been the impression of those who only saw this gifted pair at times and briefly. The late Miss Caroline Fox formed, at first, an impression hardly borne out by facts. ' They are a very happy pair,' she says. 'She plays all manner of tricks on her hus- band, telling wonderful stories of him in his presence, founded almost solely on her bright imagination . . . .' and as early as 1847 Caroline Fox quotes Mrs. Carlyle as saying, 'I often wonder what right I have to live at all' Now, too, she spoke of the world's hollowness, and of every year deepening her sense of this; of half a dozen real friends as far too magnifi- cent an allowance for anyone to calculate on — she would sug- gest half a one: 'those you really care about die.' Of Thomas Erskine, whom they both loved, Mrs. Carlyle said, ' He always soothes me, for he looks so serene, as if he had found peace.' She, poor woman, certainly had not done so I FAREWELL TO MAZZINI l^to In June 1849 Miss Fox 'steamed to Chelsea, and paid Mrs. Caiiyle a humane little visit.' 'I don't think,' says Miss Fox, ' she roasted a single soul or even body. She talked in rather a melancholy way of herself and of things in general, professing that it was only the Faith that all things are well put together — which all sensible people viust believe — that prevents our sending to the nearest chemist's shop for six-pennyworth of arsenic. . . .' 'We said a few modest words,' adds the gentle Quakeress, ' in honour of existence, to which she answered, '■'■ But J can' t enjoy Joy,'' as Henry Taylor says.' Miss Fox also records Mazzini's farewell words to Mrs. Carlyle on his departure at the time of the Milan insurrection. ' Mrs. Carlyle had said he took leave of her as one who never expected to see her again: he kissed her and said, " Be strong and good until I return." ' In Mazzini Mrs. Carlyle lost a true friend, strong and brave enough to see her faults, and to say a timely word. Miss Fox, too, would have been a great comforter, had circumstances cast the lot of the two women together more closely. Little real help was possible, however, at the present time, when the deep dissatisfaction of Mrs. Carlyle at her husband's repeated visits to the Ashburtons at Bath House was accentuated by all the stress of a sick body and a sick mind — past help ! We cannot but think that had it been possible for Mr. Carlyle to see clearly one fraction of the pain he was causing, he might easily have given up this friendship, all blameless as it was in itself, and let the greater supersede the less. For the peace of her, whom he had vowed to cherish, ivas, after all, the main thing, and were the wish ever so unreasonable, most men would have seen it and acted out the wife's desire. But he was not like other men, and he did not see. Had he once seen, we do not doubt the result ! As it was, the sadness became very heavy. Some extracts from a journal kept by Mrs. Carlyle shew the depth of her pain. We quote a few sentences. Oct. 22, 1855. — ' Cut short last night by Mr. C.'s return 234 Z//"ie IN LONDON from Bath House ! That eternal Bath House ! I wonder how many thousand miles Mr. C. has walked between here and there, putting it all together, setting up always another milestone and another betwixt himself and me ! ' Oct. 25. — ' . . . My heart is very sore to-night, but I have promised myself not to make this journal a " miserere," so I will take a dose of morphia and do the impossible to sleep.' Nov. I. — ' Fine weather outside, but indoors, blowing a devil of a gale. Off into space then, to get the green mould that has been gathering upon me of late days brushed off by human contact.' Nov. 6. — ' . . . They must be comfortable people who have leisure to think about going to Heaven ! My most con- stant and pressing desire is to keep out of Bedlam.' Nov. 7. — ' . . . What a sick day this has been with me ! Oh ! my mother. Nobody sees when I am suffering now.' Dec. 4. — ' Oh ! to cure anyone of a terror of annihilation, just put him on my allowance of sleep, and see if he don't get to long for sleep, sleep, unfathomable and everlasting sleep, as the only conceivable heaven ! ' March 24, 1856. — ' . . . Looking back was not intended by nature, evidently, from the fact that our eyes are in our faces, and not in our hind heads. Look straight before you then, Jane Carlyle. . . . Look, above all, at the duty nearest hand, and, what's more, do it!' March 26. — * To-day it has blown knives and files; a cold, rasping, savage day: excruciating for sick nerves. Dear Geraldine, as if she would contend with the very elements on my behalf, brought me a bunch of violets and a bouquet of the loveliest, most fragrant flowers. Talking with her all I have done, or could do. " Have mercy upon me, O Lord ! for I am weak. , . , O Lord, heal me, for my bones are vexed. My soul also is sore vexed — but Thou, O Lord! how long ? " ' If the Journal was not a ' Miserere/ it was truly a ' De Profundis.' A BRILLIANT WOMAN n^ August 1855 had witnessed a painful experiment. The Ashburtons, knowing how Cariyle needed rest, had again offered Addiscombe to him and Mrs. Cariyle, and thither they repaired. But it proved a failure, and Mrs. Cariyle went back to Chelsea with some suddenness, causing much pain to her husband, who wrote at once to her in the ten- derest terms, only wishing her to find rest if she could. Christmas of 1855 found the Carlyle's again at the Grange — but the visit was a very unhappy one for Mrs. Cariyle — sick and sad, she struggled on ! It was in the autumn of 1855 that the Journal was begun from which such sad ex- tracts have been given; the Journal from which, after her death, Cariyle first came to know how unhappy she had been, and that he had been partly the cause. Few women could have composed the sparkling and able 'Budget of a Femme Incomprise,' dated February 12, 1855 — unique amongst feminine productions. Cariyle received it with roars of laughter and promptly complied with the modest demands made on him. ' Excellent,' he says, ' my dear, clever Goody; thriftiest, wittiest and cleverest of women.' He did not feel the hidden bitterness of the whole thing. We give the ' Budget' * in full. Budget of a Femme Incomprz'se, I don't choose to speak again on the moitey questioti! The ' replies ' from the Noble Lord are unfair and unkind, and little to the purpose. When you tell me ' I pester your life out about money,' that 'your soul is sick with hearing about it,' that T had better make the money I have serve,' 'at all rates, hang it, let you alone of it ' — all that I call perfectly unfair, the reverse of kind, and tending to nothing but disagreement. If I were greedy, or extravagant, or a bad manager, you would be justified in ' staving me off' with loud words; but you cannot say that oi me (whatever else) — cannot thi7ik it of me. At least, I am sure that I never ' asked for more ' from you or anyone, not even * From Froude's History of Carlyle's Life in Londott, Vol. ii. p. 162, 236 LIFE IN LONDON from my own mother, in all my life, and that through six-and- twenty years I have kept house for you at more or less cost according to given circumstances, but always on less than it costs the generality of people living in the same style. What I should have expected you to say rather would have been: 'My dear, you must be dreadfully hampered in your finances, and dread- fully anxious and unhappy about it, and quite desperate of inaking it do, since /iyyziI7^y^ jyyh^-ty<^^^ PT-l-^^^^t-^l^-i^S '^^^cr^-^yil^ ^^^<^ '^h-u*^^ X^^^ c^:j^ t/i ^ A^ J.^ /^^^ .^Wj/ ^/'^>^^^^^^^.^^^ >^^ J^^^^-^ -^'-¥.^- ^^ /ijf^'^ ds^>^t^<^ .^i^/^^^ A^^^ i^^z-^^^a? « A WIFE'S VIEWS OF A HOME 253 which would probably have saved myself and ' others ' all further trouble with me, had it not befallen in the house of a Dr. I — the one living Doctor I know, or know of, in whom I have retained confidence. His judicious treatment and unceasing cares at the beginning, and his wife's devoted nursing, prevented the malady gaining ground, and I am up now — after only two days and a half in bed — about as well as I was before, only a little uncertain on my legs, a little confused with the effects of morphia, a little less conceited about my ' improvement,' and a great deal less impa- tient to set out for London ! Set out I must, however, as early as is consistent with ordinary prudence — for the idea of Mr. Carlyle going about at home, seeking things like a madman, and never finding them ! ' and of his depending on the tender mer- cies of Charlotte for his diet, leaves me no rest — partly on Charlotte's account, I confess, as well as on his own ! ' So far as I can make out from his programme, written in the style of The Lamentations of Jeremiah, he will arrive at Chelsea some time of Thursday. He will sail from Antwerp on Wednes- day, he says, ' if not sooner ' — and ' twenty-four hours more and then — '; 'then he will be at Chelsea,' I fancy this to mean. I write to tell you, that you may go and see after him on Friday — and be a mother to him, poor Babe of Genius, till I come, which will be in the beginning of next week, I expect — if all continue to go well with my bodily affairs. You need not give Charlotte any more board-wages — she will live with her master on tick as usual, till I come and resume the charge of that un- happy household. I calculate on leaving this on Friday — but shall be a few days amongst Mr. C's relations. Love to your mother — it has several times crossed my mind with pleasure what a beautiful pinmshion I have to go home to ! ! Yours affectionately, Jane Carlyle. An amusing incident is given by Mr, Larkin as to this home-coming of Mrs. Carlyle. She had written to him from Thornhill a most urgent note to meet her, on her arrival at Euston, and given all particulars. But Mr. Larkin met the train and saw no trace of her, waited and carefully kept a 254 Z//^£" IN LONDON sharp look out— no Mrs. Carlyle appeared ! So, in some anxiety, he returned home, and called next day at 5 Cheyne Row to find her innocently wondering why he had not met her! 'That it was a well-meant trick,' Mr. Larkin never doubted; ' nor, on consideration, do we. Carlyle had returned from Germany 'broken and de- graded ' — but the already finished volumes c^ his ' Frederick' were out of the printer's hands and were extremely suc- cessful. ^ Much babbled of in newspapers,' he says, charac- teristically, in his Journal of December 8, 1858. At this time a memorable event took place. Lord Ash- burton married again — a Miss Stuart Mackenzie — and this lady was a true and kind friend of Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle, and afterwards of him in his loneliness. No misunderstanding now clouded the intercourse with the Ashburton family. The Dowager Lady Sandwich, mother of Lady Harriet Baring, continued to be a much-loved friend of Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle — as, indeed, she had been throughout. Lord Ashburton and his new wife had, however, gone at once to Egypt, so that acquaintance had not begun (with the suc- cessor to Lady Harriet) at the time of which we write. The clean house, a little maid, radiant with ' virtue its own reward,' and a jet black kitten, failed to keep up any cheer in Mrs. Carlyle's heart. The London atmosphere, she said, weighed on her like a hundredweight of lead. Writing to Mr. J. G. Cooke on or about December 22, 1858, she says, in condolence on the death of this gentle- man's mother: 'Yes; the longer one lives in this hard world motherless, the more a mother's loss makes itself felt and understood. ... It is sixteen years since my mother died, as unexpectedly, and not a day, not an hour, has passed since that I have not missed her, have not felt the world colder and blanker for want of her. . . .' Besides the want of the mother's sympathy, there were other blanks and irretrievable causes of pain in Mrs. Carlyle's life — many lying exclusively in herself, in a temperament SEEKING OUT AFTER THE IMPOSSIBLE 255 pitiably unsuited to ' human nature's daily food,' and finding poison therein. A dreary winter, that of 1858-59, leaves little to record. It was in June 1859 that, writing to Miss Barnes, the daugh- ter of her kind doctor, she, Mrs. Carlyle, says: 'And if you will bring with you to-morrow evening whatever stock you may have of ' faith, hope, and charity,^ I have no doubt but we shall become good friends.' It had been resolved that the Carlyles should escape the heat of the London summer by a few months spent in Scot- land. Rooms had been found in the farm-house of Humbie, near Aberdour, and thither Carlyle went by steamer, with the servant, Charlotte, his horse, and 'the blessed' (Nero). Mrs. Carlyle, in very frail health, went first to Haddington and joined her husband at Humbie after a few days' rest. The visit to Humbie was not a success. Mrs. Carlyle was too weak to walk in the woods with her husband, too nervous to sit the willing horse 'Fritz,' the gift of the first Lady Ash- burton, and October found the two restless natures once more in Chelsea; not, however, before a visit had been paid at Auchtertool, whence Mrs. Carlyle had written a highly orig- inal letter of congratulation to Miss Barnes, on the an- nouncement of her approaching marriage. The letter is given here. To Miss Barnes, King's Road, Chelsea. Auchtertool House, KirkcaldyfAug. 24, 1859. My dear Miss Barnes, — How nice of you to have written me a letter, ' all out of your own head ' (as the children say), and how very nice of you to have remarked the forget-me-not, and read a meaning in it ! It was certainly with intention I tied up some forget-me-nots along with my farewell roses; but I was far from sure of your recognising the intention, and at the same time not young enough to make it plainer. Sentiment, you see, is not well looked on by the present generation of women; there is a growing taste for fastness, or, still worse, for strong-mindedness ! so a discreet woman (like me) will beware always of putting her 256 LIFE IN LONDON sentiment (when she has any) in evidence — will rather leave it — as in the forget-me-not case — to be divined through sympathy; and failing the sympathy, to escape notice. And you are actually going to get married! you! already! And you expect me to congratulate you! or ' perhaps not.' I admire the judiciousness of that 'perhaps not.' Frankly, my dear, I wish you all happiness in the new iife that is opening to you; and you are marrying under good auspices, since your father approves of the marriage. But congratulation on such occasions seems to me a tempting of Providence. The triumphal- procession-air which, in our manners and customs, is given to marriage at the outset — that singing of Te Deum before the bat- tle has begun — has, ever since I could reflect, struck me as some- what senseless and somewhat impious. If ever one is to pray — if ever one is to feel grave and anxious — if ever one is to shrink from vain show and vain babble — surely it is just on the occasion of two human beings binding themselves to one another, for better and for worse, till death part them; just on that occasion which it is customary to celebrate only with rejoicings, and con- gratulations, and trousseaux, and white ribbon! Good God! Will you think me mad if I tell you that when I read your words, 'I am going to be married,' I all but screamed .? Posi- tively, it took away my breath, as if I saw you in the act of tak- ing a flying leap into infinite space. You had looked to me such a happy, happy little girl! your father's only daughter; and he so fond of you, as he evidently was. After you had walked out of our house together that night, and I had gone up to my own room, I sat down there in the dark, and took 'a good cry.' You had reminded me so vividly of my own youth, when I, also an only daughter — an only child — had a father as fond of me, as proud of me. I wondered if you knew your own happiness. Well ! knowing it or not, it has not been enough for you, it would seem. Naturally, youth is so insatiable of happiness, and has such sublimely insane faith in its own power to make happy and be happy. But of your father? Who is to cheer his toilsome life, and make home bright for him ? His companion through half a life- time gone! his dear ' bit of rubbish ' gone too, though in a dif- ferent sense. Oh, little girl! little girl! do you know the blank you will make to him ? A DECIDED FAILURE 257 Now, upon my honour, I seem to be writing just such a letter as a raven might write if it had been taught. Perhaps the hen- bane I took in despair last night has something to do with my mood to-day. Anyhow, when one can only ray out darkness, one had best clap an extinguisher on oneself. And so God bless you ! Sincerely yours, Jane W. Carlyle. It was not at the Manse that the Carlyles were now stay- ing, but at a large comfortable house lent by a Mr. Liddell, 'where,' as Mrs. Carlyle writes to her friend Mr. George Cooke, * we should have done very well had not Mr. C. walked and rode and bathed himself into a bilious crisis, just before leaving Humbie.' She describes her position during a portion of this time, and we fear the instance was not a solitary one, as being ' more like being keeper in a mad-house, than being in the country for quiet and change ' ; and yet, at the very outset of this ill-fated holiday, Carlyle, writing to his brother John, who was to meet the weary traveller, had said: 'Be soft and good with her: you have no notion what ill any fuss or flurry does her.' The discomforts of Humbie had been too much for both hus- band and wife — they went afterwards to Auchtertool, as we have said, and Carlyle subsequently into Annandale, to his own people. 258 LIFE IN LONDON CHAPTER XXV A. D. I 859-1 860 Life in Cheyne Row — Mrs. Carlyle's return — George Rennie's death — Letters of Mrs. Carlyle on the subject to Mrs. Dinning of Bel- ford, Northumberland — Carlyle at Thurso Castle — Mrs. Carlyle, with Lady Stanley of Alderley, en route for Scotland — Holm Hill — Misunderstanding as to date of Carlyle's return — Mrs. Carlyle returns to Cheyne Row unnecessarily — Carlyle's remorse — Two servants kept. These were dreary days for the subject of this Memoir. To quote from Mr. Froude a peculiarly powerful passage in his 'Life in London,' Vol. II. p. 234: Mrs. Carlyle grew continually more feeble, continual nervous anxiety allowing her no chance to rally; but her indomitable spirit held her up. She went out little in the evenings, but she had her own small tea-parties, and the talk was as brilliant as ever. If any of us were to spend the evening there, we gener- ally found her alone; then he would come in, take possession of the conversation, and deliver himself in a stream of splendid monologue, wise, tender, scornful, humorous, as the inclina- tion took him — but never bitter, never malignant — always ge- nial, the fiercest denunciations ending in a burst of laughter at his own exaggerations. Though I knew things were not alto- gether well, and her drawn, suffering face haunted me afterwards like a sort of ghost, I felt, for myself, that in him there could be nothing really wrong, and that he was as good as he was great. This description is of high value, and gives a vivid picture of part of the home-life at 5 Cheyne Row. And now Mrs. Carlyle purposed to return all alone to Chelsea, breaking her journey at York. She writes on WEARINESS BY THE WAY 259 September 22, 1859, from Scawin's Hotel, York, to Carlyle at The Gill: ' With the recollection of the agonies of tired- ness I suffered on the journey down, and for many days after, still tingling through my nerves .... I kept determined not to expose myself to that again '; so she went home with- out hurry, and Carlyle was to spend a day or two with the Stanleys of Alderley on his homeward journey; which gave Mrs. Carlyle a little respite — not un-needed — for she was fatigued and sleepless. On September 29, she was nailing down drugget — with dis- may at seams which had 'given' in the washing — and she was neglecting her dinner and dinner-hour, and not keeping up what little strength she had brought home. By October 3, Carlyle himself had arrived, but a small though deeply felt trouble came first, which concerned the little dog 'Nero.' Just before Carlyle's arrival, * the night before,' writes Mrs. Carlyle to Mrs. Russell, ' Charlotte went to some shops, taking the dog with her, and brought him home in her arms, all crumpled together like a crushed spider.' A butcher's cart had passed over the little Nero's throat and nearly killed him. The accident distressed Mrs. Carlyle much, and, as we shall see, ended in the dog's death a few months later. It was about this time that Dr. Russell retired from active medical practice in Thornhill village, and took up his resi- dence in his pretty new home. Of this change, to the new Holm Hill, Mrs. Carlyle says to her friend: 'It will be ... . more agreeable when you have once got over the fain of change* This, in her own case, we think Mrs. Carlyle never did. There was a short visit to the Grange in January i860. It was much enjoyed by Mrs. Carlyle, but about a fortnight after the return to Cheyne Row ' Nero ' died, after much suffering. Mrs. Carlyle wrote on Feb i, to Mr. Barnes, who had evidently ministered to the poor little beast's painless removal from life: * My gratitude to you will be as long as 26o LIFE IN LONDON my life, for shall I not, as long as I live, remember that poor little dog ? Oh, don't think me absurd, you, for caring so much about a dog. Nobody but myself can have any idea what that little creature has been in my life. My insepar- able companion during eleven years; ever doing his little best to keep me from feeling sad and lonely ! ' The weary year wore on. Events there were, but some very sad ones. George Rennie, her old friend and lover, lay dying in his house at 32 York Terrace, Regent's Park. His wife had written to Mrs, Carlyle that he was at the point of death, and that she, as his oldest friend, should know it. The summons was promptly responded to, and it was the com- panion of his childhood, the love of his early manhood, who received his last breath and closed his eyes. It was another link with Haddington taken from Mrs. Carlyle, and it was keenly felt. She it was who broke the news of George Rennie's death to his aunt, Mrs. Dinning, the ' Grace Rennie ' of the dear old days. The letter, and one written a few days later, have been kindly placed in our hands, and are given here — touching in their evidence of deep feeling. It is with reverence that they have been transcribed. No. I. Copy of letter from Mrs. Carlyle to Mrs. Dinning, The Terrace, Belford, Northumberlatid. {Postmark. — March 24, i860.) 32 York Terrace, Regent's Park : Friday 23rd (March, i860). yiy ^^2lX 'Grace Re7i7iie' oi long ago, — It must be something like forty years since I saw your sweet face, or had any exchange of words with you ! Still, I recollect you well and kindly. I wonder \iyoii have any recollection of me — of the little Jeannie Welsh you were so kind to, and your nephew George so much in love with? At least you will recollect my name, and the fact of my existence, when recalled to you by this letter; and you will recollect my beautiful mother, who was fond of you, well — after all this life time, I am writing to you, not to recall myself to your mind, but to tell you what you ought to be told, not merely officially, but with some words of sympathy and detail. NOT ALTOGETHER PARTED 26 1 George— ^ ^/, 45 Scott, Thomas, Co>nmenta7-y on the Bible, 99 WAL Scott, Sir Walter, 90, 202 ' Shandy,' Jane Welsh's dog, 213, 214 Sherborne, 222 Scotsbrig, (near Ecclefechan), Carlyle's parents settle at, 70, 72, 76, 77: Mrs. Carlyle nurs- ing Carlyle's mother at, 229 Sinclair, Sir George, 264 Smith, John Stores, 173, 296, 299 Somner, George, partner of Dr. Welsh, 3, 310 Spedding, James, 149, 207, 208 Spedding [elder brother of James], 298 Spring Rice, Mr., 171 Stanley, Dean, 298 Stanleys, the, of Alderley, 259, 264 Sterling, Edward (of the Times), 175. 177. 195 Sterling, John, 148, 156, 157, 163, 166, 167, 168, 175, 201 Sterling, Mrs., 151, 152, 163 Stodart, Eliza, early friendship with Jane Welsh, 19 Tait, William, bookseller in Edinburgh, 318 Taylor, [Sir] Henry, 149, 233 Templand, home of Walter Welsh, 4, 22, 65; Jane Welsh and Carlyle married at, 87; be- comes home of Mrs. Welsh, 83, 87; visits to, 103, 114, 115, 153- 165 Tennyson, 183, 219 Thackeray, 209, 210 Thirlwall, Bishop, 174 Tulloch, Principal, 303 Twisleton, Hon. Edward, 288 Tyndall, Prof., 301, 302, 303 Virgil, read by Jane Welsh as a girl, 11; effect on her, 13 Wallace, William, Jane Welsh's mother traced her pedigree to, 4 Walrond, Mrs., at school with Jane Welsh, 19 INDEX 329 WEL Welsh family, see Appendix I., p. 309 Welsh, Ann, sister of Dr. Welsh, 202, 245 Welsh, Benjamin, brother of Dr. Welsh, 4, 310 Welsh, Elizabeth, sister of Dr. Welsh, 202 Welsh, Grace, wife of Dr. Welsh and mother of Jane Welsh, 4; her character, 5,15; references to her, 67, 71, 74, 75, 76, 77, 83, 95, 114, 123, 134, 151, 152, 153. 155; death of, 168; her grave, i6g, 270 Welsh, Grace, sister of Dr. Welsh, 202 Welsh, Helen, daughter of John Welsh of Liverpool, 163, 174, 193, 195, 206 Welsh, Jane (Aunt Jeannie), youngest sister of Mrs. Welsh, 95. 226 Welsh, 'Jeannie,' daughter of John Welsh of Liverpool, 170 Welsh, John, minister of Ayr, married daughter of John Knox, 2, III, 309 Welsh, John, name of lairds of Craigenputtock, 2 Welsh, John, of PenfiUan, father of Dr. Welsh, 3, 8 Welsh, Dr. John, father of Jane Welsh, 3-5, 6; his death, 17, 311, 312; references to, 20, 8g, 225, 241; trees at Craigenput- tock planted by, 136; Mrs. Carlyle visits his grave, 203 Welsh, Robert, brother of Dr. Welsh, 22, 37 Welsh, Walter, father of Mrs. Welsh, 4, 6, 7, 65, 71, 77, 134 Welsh, Rev. Walter, cousin of Mrs. Carlyle, minister of Auchtertool, 188, 271 Woolner, Thomas (the sculptor), 28S Wordsworth, 137 %_ -1 vii.l*