LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HoUingcr pH 8.5 MiU Run F03-2193 GTS .Hl'2- ^ f tJf ff , t(^p^(f^ Rnnk . H I 9. C^ ji^.J. Price, 10 Cents. (v'^Bqc (^HAPPAQl A \m Ef ICj By a Farmer Poet. JOHN P. JEWETT, Publisher of "Uncle Tom's Cabin," "The Lamplighter," &c. E. S. Dodge &. Co.. PriiUer^, 84 John St.. X. \'. ^Y/ ^ Kntcred according to Act of Conci'ess, in the year IH By JOHN P. JKWKTT. In the office of the lahrariiin of ConKrc>-^, :it Wa.-lii THE PRESrDEIS*rrAL VOTE.^n'' FKOM 1848 TO ISfiK. 856 Zachary Tayliir. . . Lewis Cass Martin Van Buren Franklin Pierce. . . Wiiifield Scott John P. Hale James Buchanan . . John C. Fremont . . .Slillard Fillmore.. Abrahatii Lincoln . . S. A. Douglas.... J. C. Breckenridge John Bell.. ...... Abraham Lincoln. Geo. B. McClellan. U. S. Grant Horatio Seymour. . Part\ . Whig... Democrat Free Soil. Democrat Whig Free Soil. Democrat Kepviblicar American Republican Democrat Democrat Union. . . . Republican Democrat . Republican Democrat Pol'lI.AK Vote. 1,362,242 1,223,795 231,378 1.585.545 1.383.537 157.296 1.834.337 1,341,812 873.055 1,857,610 1.365.976 847.953 590,631 2,223,035 1,811,754 3,013,188 2,703.600! 163 107 174 114 72 39 216 214 80 THE CiEEAT BOOK OF OUR TI]VrE. AND HOW TO MAKE IT. Ry h. l. reade. • '-f>rue, $:i.oO. Agents Jt anted. JOHN P. .TKWETT, Publit^her, yo. 5 JH'.y Street, Ifetv York, 3 Preface. 1. Kind reader ! here's a useful book, Wherein, if carefully you look, You'll find a statement, truly charming. About the queerest kind of farming. That ever yet, on this round earth. Has caused such roarous peals of mirth. II. But don't, I beg you, treat with fun, The plan on which this farming's done— For I can prove, beyond a doubt, That Horace knows what he's about. In putting Nature at defiance, And throttling vegetative science. III. This famous Sage at Chappaqua, Has gotten up a brand, new law, Whereby he can, as I will show, Make luscious figs on thistles grow, And sweeter grapes upon the thorn. Than you e'er saw since you were born. But read along, and get instruction. About this very green production. The Farm. I. The farm at Chappacjua is lovely. Its cultivation is most dovely. (Vood Horace takes a lot of cliaft'. And Democratic truth, (don't laugh !) Adding some seeds and roots of slavery, And germs of that infernal knavery, II. Whence sprang rebellion, war and woe. And savs that he's prepared to show, If we'll but plant these same seeds over, \\'e're sure to reap a crop of clover. And, mixing up a mess of sand. Found in abundance on his land, III. Ropes can be made, and called real leather, To hold the North and South together. Besides, a spring of blarney oil, Bubbles spontaneous from his soil. By which to grease the wheels of State, And stop all future squeak and grate. The Farm. He also, with his green cheese press, Can heal " the late unpleasantness " With our dear brethren of the South, By cramming down the Northern mouth A lot of sodder — soft and mealy. Named from himself — " A pill of Cireeley, Extract from Mr. Greeley's Speech at Corry, Penn., Sept. 25. "I think it is time for the Northern people to say to their countrymen at the South : ' We have insisted that all the blacks shall be enfranchised, and they have been enfranchised; now, then, we insist that you shall be enfranchised also.' * * I think the people ought to say in this election, and make the Southern people feel that though they had been very wrong, we have forgotten that wrong, and are now prepared to take hold with them and carry forward the destinies, to pro- mote and advance the greatness and glory of this- country as one united fraternal people. " The Fruit. The fruit of Chappaqua is good. Pleasant to see, and useful food. The grape and plum, and peach and pear. Flourish and grow abundant there. But Satan got at (ireeley's ear. Sometime within the present year, II. And made his simple soul believe, As once he did our mother Eve, That certain bubbles, filled with air. Are genuine apples, ripe and fair, The Presidential species, bright As butterflies, entranced his sight. And now, he's night and day agog, Fumbling about in mist and fog. Intent on clutching at the i)rize. Which flits before his longing eyes. Alas ! this phantom in the air. Is like a thorny, i)rickly pear, The Fruit. IV. Or So(l()ni"s api^les, gold witliout, ])Ut filled with bitterness and drought. ^'et should I raise a friendly voice. And warn him of his foolish choice, '' I think, sir, this must be a briar," He'd sharjjly answer, "You're a liar." « o Ex tract from a private letter, written at Pans a few iveeks ago, to a gentleman in N^ew York. " One of the most remarkable facts which I hear from .Vmerica is, that our old friend and admired editor, Horace Greeley, has actually been nominated as a candidate for the presi- dency, and seems as pleased as a child who reaches out its hands for a gaudy trinket. I can- not doubt Mr. Greeley's patriotic moti\es, liut it does seem strange to me that he can as))ire to a position which he knows to be so full of difficulty, and one which he is ill-fitted to sustain, in case he shall be elected." The Stables. I. Ok horses he has various breeds. Donkeys and mules and two faced steeds. I know of some he used to ride Till the poor creatures fairly died ; Vet he declared they were not dead, And still, on bran and saw dust, fed. II. A frisky team of wind in bags, Are now his favorite hobby nags. Their names, "Reform and Amnesty," I^enote their splendid destiny, Which is to run off General Grant, (Although this kind of jackass can't.) HI. Getting astride of both one day, He met a darkey on the \vay, And kindly offered him a ride ; Whereat old Sambo quick replied : " No, sah ! dis chile by instinc knows l)at drefful beast from ears to toes'. The Stables. TV. "When once he felt de Northern lasli He kicked old Slabery all to smash, And now, a-draggin on de ])ieces. He look '{juite smart ' at wooUey fleeces. Gist ride along on your old Dragon, Cuffee will stick to freedom's wagon I " Speaker James G. Blaine to Mr. Charles Sumner, July 31, 1872. "The colored men of this country are not, as a class, enlightened, but they have wonderful in- stincts, and when they read your letter they will know that at a great crisis in their fate you de- serted them. Charles Sumner, co-operating with Jefferson Davis, is not the same Charles Sumner they have hitherto idolized — any more than Horace (ireeley, cheered to the echo in Tam- many Hall, is the same Horace Greeley whom the Repul)licans have hitherto trusted." The Poultry, The geese are lean at Chappacjua, And deader ducks you never saw. Poor Horace, in his poultry culture, Has long been plagued with that great vul- The hungry Democratic party, [ture U'hich he has often cursed most hearty, For skulking round his coops and pens, And carrying off his ducks and hens. But now, he moans, with grief and tears. For having, through so many years. Misunderstood its worth and beauty, And says, it's now his bounden dutv, To let it swallow him alive — In fact — adown its throat he'll dive ! " The keepers of The V'ulture wink. And nudge each other with a blink ; And scarcely able to refrain From peals of laughter, or restrain The Poultry. IV. Their bird from tearing out his eyes. Tell him with smiles (I don't say lies,) "Our Vulture shall, this blessed fall, Gobble you down, white hat and all ! " (But when the creature comes to choke, How mad he'll be to see the joke !) A feiv months ago Mr. Greeley wrote as follows: " I saw the other day a suggestion that I would probably be the best Democratic candidate to run against General (irant for president. 1 thought that about the most absurd thing I ever heard or read. If the Democratic party were called ujjon to decide between (rrant and myself, I know that their regard for what they must call principle would induce nine-tenths of them to vote against me. Why .' I am a decided enemy of that party, even in its most respectable aspects." The Frog Pond. I. The frog pond up at Chap])aciua Beats every thing I ever saw. I noticed as I passed along. Skulking around, a slimy throng Of reptiles, toads and copperheads, Reposing in their holes and beds. II. Being afraid — half scared to death — I ran till I was out of breath. When Horace called me, with a shout, " Their teeth and fangs are all pulled out. I did it with a ' liberal ' hook, Bent to a democratic crook, III. " And covered with my sodder bait Compo-sed of — ' no more wicked hate To treachery, ku klux and disunion — Let Truth with Error have communion.' " These varmints come and smell and dribble, Then swim away, return and nibble ; 13 The Frog Pond. TV. Douhtinii; to bite, or not to liite The old hard crab they used to fight. Perhaps a dozen have been caught," (Good Greeley's votes are never bought,) And adding what he'll catch this fall, A quart tin pail should hold them all. Ml'. Garrison to J\Ir.Siiiuncr,AiLg. 2, '72 " It is exultingly announced by his organ, The Trihii)H\ that 'a few years ago, if Horace Gree- ley had ventured into (Georgia or South Carolina, he would have been hanged on the nearest lamp- post ; now his name is cheered to the echo in every Southern city, and the ex-slaveholders and soldiers of the rebellion, the men wlio always made Southern opinion, are unanimously in favor of electing him President.' A boast like this should be e(iuivalent to tying a mill-stone around his neck to drown him in the depth of the patri- otic sentiment of the country. It is rebel cun- ning and duplicity of the broadest scale." 13 The Bridges. As farmers often build a bridge Over a stream, from ridge to ridge, So Horace has a constant spasm, To arch and .span "the bloody chasm. Weeping and sad, he takes his stand, And stretches out his friendly hand. Longing to squeeze, in clasping grab, The very first rebel he can nab. He's very loving to these fellows. And says, he'll gladly blow the bellows. If they will furnish coal and ore, Of which their drills were made before. To perforate and blast the rock Of the old Ihiion — whence the shock Of war, secession, fire and flood. Which cleft and filled this gulf with blood. He also, offers to donate And build a bridge elaborate. The Bridges. Of cotton, decked with olive leaves, Being much softer, he believes, P'or tread of Southern demi-gods, Than the hard blocks and chains and rods Of Plymouth Rock and yankee knowledge, The Bible, spelling-book and college. Vh'c-P7'csident Colfax, at South Bend, Indiana, Aui^nst 3, 1872. " The staple argument of our friends on the other side is conciliation, shaking hands, &c. Now, my own motto is conciliation politically, and reconciliation nationally. We have built up our steadily-increasing majority in this coun- ty by unity and harmony, never reading any one out of the party unless he read himself, and this is a political necessity for parties in a county, state or nation, and the sure pathway to \ictory ; and I am for reconciliaton, nationally, on the only safe basis of obedience to the Constitution, the lows and t/ie guaranty of iii>erty to all, justice to all, and protectio7i to all." 15 The Grindstone. Let every man who has an axe, Bear in his mind the following facts Respecting Greeley's grindstone. Reid, Who turns it, is a friend indeed ; For any enterprising fool Who has the dullest kind of tool, II. Need only lay it on that stone, — A turn or two — the sharpening's done. Finding his wits as bright as steel. He nimbly turns upon his heel, And sallies out with lightning flash, To stab the truth, and cut and slash III. At good men's pur])ose, deed and fame, Putting the Devil himself to shame. 'I'his grindstone has a power of grit, But Fm afraid it has a split, Or something in the crank is wrong. Because The Tribune all along 16 The Grindstone. IV. My youth and riper years, was found. On most great subjects true and sound. But now, abuse and "Hes" it blends. Much to the grief of former friends. Descending, from its high estate, To deal in vengeful spite and hate. Thousands of the readers of The Tribune^ who ^^t many years have esteemed it as the best of all \ newspapers, have ceased to read it within a few weeks past. A President of a New England college once said to the writer of these lines : " I owe more to the columns of The Tribune than to all my other reading, for having trained my thoughts and sentiments in the right direction." He now deplores the tone and spirit of the paper. The Cider Mill. Thk cider mill, on Greeley's farm, Is put up only as a charm, Just while the canvass is proceeding, As apple brandy is much needing, That Horace may be made to float Adown the Democratic throat. II. The Tribune used to be severe On grog shops, rum and lager bier, But should he talk on temperance now Would'nt there be a high old row ! (iermans and Paddies in a crowd With curses deep, and long, and loud, Quicker than I can write the story. Would squelch his Presidential glory. So Horace now is quite indulgent. And goes around with smiles refulgent, And never being very proud Mingles most freely with the c:rowd. 18 The Cider Mill. IV. The Teuton roars, while coming near, " Where ish mine mug of lager bier ?" The Celt, all rolicking and frisky, " Och and be jabers ! where's the whiskey ? Poor Horace ! never in his life, Conscience with dutv had such strife ! Is it not lamentable to observe how reticent The Tribune is on the subject of Temperance, and other reforms ? It has been outspoken and bold in rebuking liquor dealers and the keepers of " Lager Bier " saloons.i. But since Mr. Greeley became a candidate' for tW fresideney what a lack of information, and reproof on the subject ! The Guests. Good Horace, having in his mind The precept to invite the bhnd, The halt, and maimed, and crippled sinner, And give them all a first rate dinner, Has gathered up a gang of loafers, Rebels and rogues and Union scoffers, II. And giving each a plate of gruel Assures them, it was very cruel, For Grant, to put in his relations Into the fat official stations, And leave the former nigger thrashers, And patriotic Union smashers, IIT. AN'ithout a paying situation. Where they again could choke the nation. Also a crowd, whose heads are sore. Come thronging at his open door. All holding out their empty dishes. Anxious to get some " loaves and fishes — " The Guests. IV. These patriots, rabid for " Reform " Around good Horace thickly swarm, While he proclaims, to all the land, That from this choice and spotless band, He means to make a cabinet Of statesmen, most immaculate. Mr. Greeley Once "Wrote Thus: '* Point wherever you please to an election dis- trict which you will pronounce morally rotten, given up in great part to debauchery and vice, whose voters subsist mainly by keeping policy- offices, gambling-houses, grog-shops and darker dens of infamy, and that district will be found at nearly or quite every election giving a majority for that which styles itself ' Democratic ' Party. Take all the haunts of debauchery in the land, and you will find nine-tenths of their master- spirits active partisans of that same Democracy. What is the instinct, the sympathetic chord, which attaches them so uniformly to this party ? Will you consider ? " 21 Wood Chopping (Sambo.) Horace has numerous colored hands Employed in clearing up his lands. One day he went among the l)ogs, To see these fellows get out logs. As they prepared and smoothed the bark. Whereon to cut his name as mark, II. He was, with horror, filled to see, How many carved it, U. S. G. He raised his voice, than thunder higher, " That's not my name, you scoundrel, ITar ! " " Why, Massa Greeley ! " Sambo said, " We black folks thought you's sartin dead I III. "Tryin' to write H. G. we can't. Cause Linkum's ghost say 'cut for Grant.' And 'sides, it 'pears dat suthin's wrong When we'm done tried de campaign song, ' Hurrah for Greeley ! ' For de Debbie He jine right in to sing de trebble ! 22 Wood Chopping (Sambo.) ■ Knowin' by dat his wicked rant, We rolls a refrain out for Grant. We bondmen love de old white coat What help us to the freeman's vote, But when dat garment turn to gray We specs de milk am gone to whey." Whoever has had an intimate accjuaintance with the Freedmen has been struck with the readiness of their perception of passing events. During the war they seemed to have an almost supernatural knowledge of what " the logic of events " was teaching. They knew their friends and enemies more readily than the white people did, and during the present canvass it is remark- able how quickly the c-olored people of both North and South apprehend the points at issue. 23 Wood Chopping (Pat.) " And how's your honor ? Glad you're here I Suddenly burst upon my ear, I turned me round, there Patrick stood Also engaged in chopping wood. Some of his logs were marked H. CI. On top, as I could plainly see. II. He whispered through his grinning teeth " They're marked ' Ulysses' underneath. And them, your Honor, on the bank Have one side marked, the other blank. Jist come and see, election day, How rollin' of logs is made to pay. Our price is marked — who pays the same. Give us a drink — up turns his name. Tammany generally gives the most, And now the cunning, cripple ghost. Has gone and told old Horace, that If he'll hold out his old white hat, Wood Chopping, (Pat.) The Emerald vote, like Autumn leaves, Will tumble in — and he believes ! But shure as he's his mother's son, He's lickin at the Blarney stone — I'he Paddy logs will turn up blank ! Roared Pat, as on the grass he sank. Nothing is more ludicrous in the pending can- vass than the readiness with which the sons of Erin promise to vote for Mr. Greeley. That many of them will fulfil that promise is most probable ; but it is pretty safe to predict they will not vote very " early " nor very " often." 25 (irnnt. •publimi.. Seymour. DennHTat- 76,366 . . . . . . 72,086 22,152 ... .... 19,078 54,592 . . . 54,078 Votes at the last Presidential Election. Sl.it.-s. .Vlabama Arkan.sas California Colorado Connecticul 50,788 47184+ Delaware 7,615 10,960 Florida ( leorjjia. . . 57ru. Died ... 1735. ,..1826 ....1743. . . . 1826 1756. . . - 1836 '756. . . . 1812 1744. ...1814 1744- . . . 1825 1782. . . . t86o 1782. . . . 1862 1780. . . . 1850 1790. ...1862 1792. . . . 1865 1800. 1786. •• 1853 1821. 1809. 1808. J823. r. S. GRAN I'. CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK. A SPRIGHTLY POEM ON THE CHAPPAaUA FARMER. I'OKTRAnS OK GEEELET, BEOWN, GEANT, AND WILSON. A LIST Ol' Presidents, Vice-Presidents, Governors, KLK( TOKAL VOTK. Population, State Capital, JsJlectioxs. ai"/ oth^r VuJ'Kitil'' LijM'ination. THIS STIRRING CAMPAIGN DOCUMENT Will be .Su]i|iliccl t.i Chlll^, or i.llior ii;inii;>. At $1 per I>o/.eii, $ti per 100. Speuimeii Coiiies lor Iwn ;i ccut Postage Si^iiiips. SOLD BY THE AMERICAN NEWS COMPANY, 1 I5--I2I Nassau Street, New York. Arid at all Ni«> .SiHiirts. Photomount Pamphlet Binder Gaylord Bros. Makers Syracuse, N. Y. PAT. JAN 21, 1908 LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS f:89 533 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 013 789 533 A HoUinger pH 8.5 MiU Run F03^2193 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS !! 013 789 533 A % Holling^r pH S.5 Mm Run F05.2193