.W5B5 1909 "^''%. >°.-^^5j;r>- /\-i.Ji!^'\ .P^'^^■^<>. .,/ » 1 1 <5^ * • I. ' -^ o • » ** • <^ ... *o •" o*' ..., % ■-#>^ c'2^ » iff .*l/.*a^., -^ v«^^ " '^o' ° /°- .^ .%. *« o • t. ' ®If ^ Stg ttrk mxh tl|^ (golf ttrk J5 3^3-/ A Ktiatk WttttttPH ta a Innat" 2011; (Eraturg Mage dnlf ^ttrk igna (§ man ; tltou UMt tenant of an l|our, il^baar^ hg alau^rg nr rnrrupt bg pnmrr, Mltn knnma th? ^ tu^ll mnst qntt tbr? «Jttt| bia^nat/* , • e a A • at Alhang, N. f. CHopBrtsIjt bg ^, S. #m?itg Albany. N. f. © AUG /^ 1^09 CI. A 2 -^ 4 1^ 4 4 AUi 10 1909 An Apnlogg liltm bits 0f ttintwttth \xn^k ar? not uStxth mttl| tl|0 t&^a tijat att abmtrtttg ttattnn mtU ?r^rt to tif? aullynr a mottum?«l for Igromr abilttg. Att ajinlogg ta nfl&rfi tn ll|0s^ wtc mlica? tjan&a it may fall, ml|0 knom vtnl BBt it. THE BIG STICK AND THE GOLF STICK a AID the great '^BIG STICK" as he stood in the hall Thickly covered \A/ith dust, and so sad withal, "To prove will I try, in this monologue; ''That the puddle should limit the size of frog; "\A/hen one's too big for the other/' quoth he, 'Tar better he leave both puddle and me. "Time was when I rul'd o'er this big, round world, "And that was the time when 'HIS NIBS' unfurl'd " A standard that flaunted this strange device : "'POLICIES— MY POLICIES,' at any price. ['Twas NOTE. — No attempt is here made to relate either in proper order or many in number of the extraordinary events that happened when the " BIG STICK " was King. Suffice it that " The King is dead — long live the King " (of good fellows). ^/^ I ^\A/AS 1 bore forth the words he wrote, I "I forced them down the people's throat ; '''Twas I vs/ho polled the largest vote; '"T\A/as 1 that blew the warning note "That hushed the world — whilst from his throat ''Issued the word 'DEE-LIGHTED/'' [The THE ''BIG STICK'' paused and gasp'd for breath. Showed his teeth, said, " Not till death "Hath closed my eyes and shut my mouth " ril cease these insults to the South, "Let negroes with all white folks dine, "Tm social law — 1 am DI-VINE/' [The THE "BIG STICK'' straightened up with pride. Swelled his chest, then ofF to ride. He rode more miles in one short day (To him it was but childish play) Than all the grizzled chiefs of war \A/ho thought it such a beastly bore [That THAT "Monkeys'' of them should be made. For war, not nonsense, they were paid. Fearing that they'd be back-number'd. Struggled on tho' much encumbered With rolls of fat that shook as jelly; Like "Santa Claus/' they'd too much belly. [The THE "BIG STICK" laughed, his heart was glad With the thoughts of the good old times he'd had When he bullied and pounded ''STANDARD OIL/' A product that grew on American soil. He fined them twenty-nine million cold, A fool of a thing — but the ''STICK" had been told That he couldn't do wrong — no more can a king. So he crowned himself one — what a \A/onderful thing; Then he said to the world, "I'm 'DEE-LIGHTED.'" [He HE a\A/oke to the fact kings do no wrong, And started a club, which didn t take long; An archery club where they draw the long bow. All members are Liars — the club rooms below. Many new ones each day it adds to the roll. They number a million, they do, 'pon m' soul; To be truly consistent and nary bit bias. They christened the club after old Ananias. [Once mm ONCE out for a walk, just a skip thro' infinity, 'Twas the caper he thought to thump once at divinity ; Loudly calling for him who makes faces and bust. Said he "Off with it, quickly, that ' In God we trust/ " Then rose up the People through all this broad land. They roared and they threaten'd and took such a stand That the pelf wanted greatly by him that doth lust Again bears the motto, that "IN GOD WE TRUST/' [Ive ^^ ""VE heard," said the "BIG STICK," "they say I 'BUTT IN/ "That I travel on ice altogether too thin, "It's no one's affair, as long as I win. 1 made the Kusse and the Japs quit their fight; "Is there aught that 1 do that isn't all right? "All mothers I've told, and others, just how "NA/ives should have child each year as does cow; " I've shown unto \A/all Street how railroads should run, " I'm jolly well heel'd, for 1 carry a gun '' To pot in the back all Spaniards who run. [Hard ARD have I tried a cannon to pocket. n "Crafty, it went overhead like a rocket, ''Whistling — 'Oh, Lord! Who — who will pre^ serve us "After we've lost the whole Secret Service/ " r ve hunted on desert — down in canebrake, "High in the mountains, for naught but the sake "To slay the dumb beasts that do little harm, "Tribute they pay to my death-dealing arm. [The THE press loudly hailed me a hellofa fellow, "Till a man \A/ith a fork discovered the yellow; ''Some thought 1 showed streak as long as an acre, ''\A/hen Miar' I branded the blind nature fakir; ''And from his mouth I took bread and butter, " Because with his lips he dared to utter "He'd knoNA/n and seen things Fd never heard of, " Nothing Fve skipped on earth or above/' [King TZ"ING ''BIG STICK'' mumbrd and grumbl'd i j this way. In a quaint monologue from day unto day. Till it happened as happen it surely must To those who make habit of busting TRUST, For scientists tell, how the octopus \A/ith its arms and tentacles SNA^allows us. It made little impress'n on the ** BIG STICK,'' Futile its efforts, his skin was too thick. But one day there strolled, down thro' the hall, A big, fat fellow, and jolly withal, [And '"^'7^ ND under his arm in a brown leathern bag J_ \. Was a bundle of sticks, that little lik'd brag. These he lustily toss'd in the corner where stood The windy old '' STICK '' that was nothing but wood; They bump'd and thump' d him so hard on the head That the knotty old "KINC fell over as dead. Not often dies King from big head and pride. As talking he liv'd, so talking he died. 'T KING ''BIG STICK'' mortuan loquiter : ^ ^ - ^ IS pity, 'tis sad, that I must die, " I that am so nobly fashion d, " Knotted and gnarled by gentle nature, "And aye so fiercely that e'en the wicked tremble "Lest I beat them to a Frazzle. "And so I die in all this ignominy "Of misspent life. But ere I go " Let all the world hear my last word, "And know — that I kno\A/ — they are well "DEE- LIGHTED." A SATIRICAL POLITICAL POEM ENTITLED Sir Cbarlie Mubibrae BEING A TKUTHFUL HISTORY OF POLITICAL EVENTS IN THE KACE-TKACK WAK OF 1908 By HAKKY KOY SWENY Secont) lEbition SMALL QUARTO, STIFF PAPER COVERS, HAND-MADE PAPER, UNCUT. ALBANY, N. Y., 1909 PRICE 50 CENTS Commendatory :6j:tract6 trom public lpre66 anD IPrivate Xettcrs Epic and Epictetus. There is a new voice in Albany. Another epic poet in the regions south of State street, which are little known to the mere inhabit' ants of the Capital city. From this obscurity a new Homer has shot forth his epic note. Having to hymn some one, moreover, he has selected the Governor to crown with his garland of verse. It is true that with unusual modesty our new poet has chosen to take refuge in parody and attempted to stifle native originality by arbitrary announcement. But although he calls his epic " Sir Charlie Hudibras," and although he makes brief reference to " the late Samuel Butler," we find imitation ends at the cover and originality begins with the opening line. — New York Sun editorial, April 2 1 . Clever Satirical Poem Has Appeared. Satirizes Governor Hughes and Others on the Race Track and Direct Nomi' nations Fights in a Parody on Butler's " Hudibras." A satirical political poem, entitled " Sir Charlie Hudibras," a parody on the "Hudi' bras " of Samuel Butler, written in the seventeenth century, and one of the classics, generally attributed to Harry R. Sweny of this city, has just made its appearance and has attracted much attention. It satirizes Governor Hughes, Colonel Treadwell, and the Governor's secretary, Mr. Fuller, with the race track and direct nominations fights as the principal themes. — Evening Jour- nal, April 21. 1? w 5 » • o. ^. * • M " ,«)> * O ' • o. *•• ^ A^ ♦ "•■ ""o /\-^;^/V oo^i^.A >v'j^'-% .0 .jO> .1^'. °-^. . *- •^An'* .'..^^©k'- 'J-oV*" 4^