/ 
 

 
 \ COMEDY, 
 
 H^y A*-*-"- 
 
 £/^CW on t&mri 
 
 IN FIVE ACTS. 
 
 AS P&FDRMKD AT THE PHILADELPHIA THEATRE. 
 
 BY FREDERICK REYNOLDS 
 
 PHILADELPHIA ; 
 
 PUBLISHED BY THOMAS H. PALMER. 
 
 1822, 
 
Harvard College L: # 
 
 \ 
 
 r P t?bATEW 
 
 T\TIS PERSONJE. 
 
 FHILADELHIA. 
 
 SirSolomon Cynic Mr. WOrrn. 
 
 Mandeville....' ^J- 
 
 Howard %ood 
 
 Veritas ^ arre '/ 
 
 Realize F ™ 1 ™ 
 
 Robert ««£•• 
 
 OldCopsley Hath-well 
 
 Servants to Sir Solomon Durang, '£c. 
 
 Albina Mandeville Mrs. Wood. 
 
 Mrs. Rigid Simpson. 
 
 Cicely Copsley Jefferson. 
 
 Deborah Franc*. 
 
 SC ENE — Devonshire . 
 
 t / 
 
 
 m*m<mmmm**mmmm 
 
 ll«MU W00f 
 
\ ^>, 
 
 THE WILL. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 scene I — the gate of Mandeville Castle^ and 
 view of surrounding country. 
 
 enter mandeville and robert. 
 
 Rob. Joy ! I give you joy, sir ! Once more 
 welcome to Mandeville Castle ! Look, sir, 
 there stands the old pile, just as we left it four- 
 teen years ago. Shall I knock at the gate ? 
 
 Mand. Lose not a moment. {Robert knocks) 
 I have travelled far to have the mystery unra- 
 velled ; and till I know why I have been thus 
 treated — why for three tedious years I have re- 
 ceived no letter from my father-— no tidings 
 of my child — the interval is insupportable ! 
 
 Rob. Pretty treatment, indeed, sir ; — to bring 
 two gentlemen from India' — all the way from the 
 shores of Bengal to the coast of Devonshire—- 
 only to get an answer to our letters ! 
 
 Mand. Didn't I write by every packet ?— - re- 
 gularly remit half my pay for the support of 
 my daughter ? — and to receive no answer ! — to 
 hear nothing from my father, or Mrs. Rigid, the 
 governess of my child ! What, what can be the 
 motive for their silence ? In India I have been 
 
4 THE WILL, [Reynolds 
 
 guilty of no vices, no extravagance ; and if be- 
 fore I went, I involved myself in pecuniary em- 
 barrassments, was it not to serve a friend ? 
 
 Rob. It was, sir. You became security for 
 the ungrateful Mr. Howard; and because he 
 took it into his head to die, and leave you res- 
 ponsible for twenty thousand pounds — 
 
 Mand. We were compelled to fly to India. 
 Well, well, blame not Howard ; if he had lived 
 he would have proved himself deserving of my 
 friendship. But now, Robert, I am here once 
 more in the centre of my creditors ; and if my 
 father has forgotten me— knock again, the sus- 
 pense is dreadfu!. 
 
 Rob, (knocks) Surely they are all run away, 
 or drowned, or hanged — hanged ! I beg pardon^ 
 sir ; I only allude to the female part of the fa- 
 mily, and I dare say many a fair neck has been 
 twisted in consequence of my absence. Not 
 come yet ! Nay, don't fret, so, sir ; the worst 
 come to the worst, we can but make the same 
 exit we did this time fourteen years. 
 
 Mand. How ? 
 
 Rob. Can't you remember our stealing out of 
 those gates in disguise ? our being found out by 
 the bailiffs, and dodging them so artfully from 
 place to place, that by the time they had taken 
 out a writ in one county, we were safely perched 
 in another ; till at last, after having outwitted 
 half the sheriffs'-oflicers and attorneys in Eng- 
 land, we secured our retreat by arriving at 
 Portsmouth late on a Saturday night, and sail- 
 ing for India early on Sunday morning. Ha \ 
 ha ! ha 1 I shall never forget the captain's smok- 
 ing us, and after dinner giving for a toast. 
 " Success to the Sunday men.'* 
 
Act I] THE WILL. 
 
 Aland. Hush ! who comes here ? Old Realize, 
 my father's steward ! Now we shall get infor- 
 mation. Observe. 
 
 enter realize and copsley. 
 
 Real. Don't talk to me, you old poacher ; 
 Hav'n't you been repeatedly warned off Sir So- 
 lomon's manor, and didn't he himself see you 
 kill the hare on his ground ? And therefore, at 
 Sir Solomon's request, I dismiss you from being 
 game-keeper to the Mandeville manors. 
 
 Co/is. Consider, consider, Mr. Realize, I am an 
 old servant, and am as innocent of poaching— 
 
 Real. You were caught in the fact, and there- 
 fore I dismiss you, and appoint in your place— 
 {Robert comes up, to him.} 
 
 Rob. Me, Mr. Steward ! honest Bob Tick- 
 well ! How are you, my old friend ? how are 
 you ? Here we are, you see— -hot from Bengal ! 
 
 Real. Why, it can't be ! — Yes, it is ! The 
 long look'd-for come at last ! Huzza ! 
 
 Mand. Realize, I am glad to see you. 
 
 Real. So am I to see you ; and so will sir 
 Solomon ; and so will all the neighbours. 
 
 Rob. There ! I said so 1 I knew we should 
 have a joyous welcome ! Come ! open wide the 
 castle gates, and prepare the wine, the venison — 
 
 Real. Open wide the prison gates, and pre- 
 pare the bread and water ! — Mr. Mandeville, {to 
 Mand.} sir, I'll trouble you for that two hun- 
 dred pounds you owe me ! 
 
 Rob. Psha ! this isn't a proper time — 
 
 Real. Where is my money, sir ? 
 
 Rob. Nonsense i His father will satisfy you ! 
 Come! we'll all pay the old gentleman a visit 
 together, (laying hold of Realize* a ami) 
 A 2 
 
6 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Real. Softly, master Robert ; you may both 
 go to the old gentleman as soon as you like ; 
 but, for me, I don't intend to pay him a visit 
 these twenty years. 
 
 Mand. No ! why where is he ? 
 
 Real. Where, I can't exactly say, only I fancy 
 you are about as far from him now as when you 
 were hot in Bengal. 
 
 Mand. What, is he gone abroad ? 
 
 Real. No ; he's gone home ; — he's dead— -de- 
 funct,— -was buried twelve months ago. 
 
 Mand. Dead ! my father dead ! I didn't ex- 
 pect this. (putting his handkerchief to his eyes} 
 
 Rob. No more did I, sir. — Oh ! h I h \ 
 
 (%vec fling violently} 
 
 Real. Why, what's the milksop crying at ? 
 
 Rob. I'm crying to think what trouble old Mr. 
 Mandeville's death will occasion to my poor 
 master ; what a fatigue it will be to collect in 
 all the rents, to pay his debts, to discharge you, 
 and appoint me steward in your place, Oh ! h ! h ! 
 
 Real. Indeed ! if that's all that afflicts you, 
 dry up your tears, booby; your master is disin- 
 herited. 
 
 Rob. Disinherited ! 
 
 Real. Cut off with a shilling. Mr. Mandeville 
 has left his whole estate to a woman 
 
 Rob. A woman ! O, the old profligate ! 
 
 Real. To your child, sir, (to Mandeville) to 
 his own grand-daughter. 
 
 Mand. To Albina ! 
 
 Rob. Bravo ! then it comes to the same point : 
 my master of course manages the property, and 
 I'm steward still. 
 
Act Ij THE WILL. 7 
 
 Real. There you're out again. I rather think 
 Mrs. Rigid will manage the property. I rather 
 imagine the young heiress will be ruled by the 
 old governess ; and as you have been no friend 
 to her, Mr. Mandeville — 
 
 Aland. No friend to her ! How ? 
 
 Real. Nay, perhaps you may call it friendship 
 to leave her to support your daughter at her own 
 expense ; perhaps you may call it friendship 
 not to write any letters, or remit any money for 
 three years together. 
 
 Mand. Go on, sir ; let me know all. 
 
 Real. Why then you may know, that Mrs. 
 Rigid informed the late Mr. Mandeville of your 
 unfatherlike conduct ; that he invited her and 
 his grand-daughter to his house, and taking a 
 fancy to Miss Albina, he made her his heiress. 
 There — now you've heard the whole story ; and 
 I shall call it friendship if you'll pay me my two 
 hundred poiinds. 
 
 Mand. Not write letters ! not remit money ! 
 hear me, sir. 
 
 Real. Not now. The heiress is expected 
 from Dover every moment, and I must go and 
 prepare the castle for her reception. Come 
 along, poacher ; come and deliver your keys to 
 your successor — I'll take out a writ directly, 
 and he sha'n't slip through my fir.gers a second 
 time — {aside) No more disguises, Mr. Mande- 
 ville ; no more Sunday-men, Mr. steward. Oh, 
 what trouble will the old gentleman's death oc- 
 casion to my poor master ! {mimicking Robert, 
 and exit with Co/isley at the castle gate) 
 
 Rob. Now all's out, sir. No wonder at our 
 not receiving answers, when they say we sent; 
 
8 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 no letters. Oh that diabolical governess ! I al- 
 ways said you were to blame, to place your only 
 child under her care ; particularly when you 
 knew she was once in love with you, and you 
 refused her, and married her cousin, Miss Her- 
 bert. 
 
 Mand. Oh, name not her ! If my Amelia had 
 survived, I should not have been doomed un- 
 heard. What? deserted! disinherited ! Is this 
 my welcome home ? Am I to find a father 
 dead, and dying full of resentment against me ? 
 a daughter prejudiced ! nay, perhaps cursing 
 my very name, and this governess — speak, sir, 
 justify your injured master. 
 
 Rob. I will with my life, sir ; but don't be 
 satisfied with Realize's story : let us get infor- 
 mation elsewhere. Yonder is the house of Sir 
 Solomon Cynic. If the old gentleman hasn't 
 fretted away his life by railing at the* follies of 
 womankind, perhaps he lives to console and be- 
 friend you. Shall we go to him, sir ? 
 
 Mand. Take me where you will, (going, stops) 
 Robert, how old was Albina when we last saw 
 her ? 
 
 Reb. About four years, sir. 
 
 Mand. And I left her in the fond hope, that 
 I might one day find in her a recompense for 
 the loss of her mother. And now if I behold her, 
 she will avoid, upbraid me ! That thought is 
 past all bearing. I'll know the worst, and then 
 my fate's decided. They may desert, but they 
 shall not despise me. [exeunt 
 
 scene ii — an afiartment in Sir Solomon's house, 
 enter sir solomon, followed by cicely. 
 'Sir Sol. I tell you it's in vain ; your applica- 
 
Act I] THE WILL. 9 
 
 lion's useless— you are useless — your whole sex 
 
 vjs useless. 
 
 ' Cic. Nay, Sir Solomon — 
 
 Sir Sol. I tell you, women are of no use — none, 
 but to nurse children, mend linen, make pud- 
 
 v dings, and beat their husbands. 
 
 ^*Cic. But consider, your honour, the hare was 
 killed by accident, not by design ; the dogs 
 chased it into your grounds ; and I hope Mr. 
 Realize won't dismiss my poor father — 
 
 Sir Sol. Keep off, keep within your magic 
 circle ; I haven't been within the reach of a wo- 
 man these twenty years ; and you are the very 
 last I'd suffer to come near me. I have often 
 observed you in my walks, often noted your 
 mischievous smiles, your penetrating eyes, and 
 I don't like them — I say I don't like them — so 
 keep your distance. I won't be made a fool of 
 
 K & second time. 
 
 ^Cic. A second time, sir Solomon ! 
 Sir Sol. Ay; I was once as much in love 
 as Mark Antony, and like him I was deserted 
 by my Cleopatra. His queen chose a mighty 
 conqueror to be false with ; but my Susannah, 
 my fantastic Susannah, fixed her affections on a 
 dancing-master, a caperer, and ever since I have 
 had such a contempt for the sex— (Cicely lays 
 hold of his hand) — Holloa ! you touched me ! I. 
 feel the shock, Ira electrified, I'm- — What sweet 
 
 £ lips the gipsey has ! 
 
 1 Cic. If you would only pay a visit to our cot- 
 tage, and be eye-witness to the distress you will 
 occasion ! Your nephew, Mr. Howard, has often 
 been there ; and if you would come and imitate 
 his charitable conduct, I and my sisters would 
 be so grateful — (still keeping hold of his hand) 
 
10 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Sir Sol. Your sisters ! pooh ! nonsense ! what 
 should I do amongst a parcel of young giddy 
 romping — hark'ye, are all your sisters as hand- 
 some as yourself ? 
 
 " Cic. Handsome ! how you flatter, Sir Solo- 
 mon ! 
 
 Sir Sol. I don't : you're the most lovely, most 
 bewitching — Susannah was a dowdy to you. 
 Look here, now, look at the omnipotence of 
 love ! a man is never secure from its influence ; 
 and if he lives independent of the sex till he is 
 so old and decrepid that he cannot stir from his 
 bed, yet then, even then, he may fall a victim to 
 'N^its power. 
 
 • Cic. ,r fis Mr. Howard ; now I'll ask him to 
 intercede for me. 
 
 Sir Sol. Howard ? so it is, and somebody 
 with him : go, don't let us be seen together — 
 I'll come to the cottage soon after sun-set ; and 
 if the hare was really killed by accident — hush ! 
 begone, no caressing, we'll reserve all that for by 
 and by — (Cicely exit) So, I have once more the 
 true Mark Antony feel. 
 
 enter mandeville and Howard. 
 
 Sir Sol. Hark'ye, George, don't let me hear of 
 your paying anymore visits at the gamekeeper's 
 cottage ; if I do, a certain young lady shall 
 know of your inconstancy, your — K sees Mand.) 
 Ha ! who's that ? 
 
 How. A stranger, sir, that — 
 
 Sir Sol. Stranger ! why it's Mandeville ! that 
 profligate Mandeville ! What brought you from 
 India, sir ? and, after what has passed, how dare 
 you show your face in my house ? 
 
THE WILL. 
 
 11 
 
 Act I] 
 
 Mand. How ! you against me too ! what have 
 I done ? 
 
 Sir Sol. What have you not done, sir? HavVt 
 you deserted your own child ? hav'n't you left 
 the governess to maintain her at her own ex- 
 pense ? A 
 
 Mand. 'Tis false : on my life rtis false ! I 
 wrote letter after letter, made'vrjepeated remit- 
 tances ; till receiving njb answer* and unable to 
 endure such torturing Buspaasev I came at all 
 hazards to England^Jto kn$>^Jwhy '.'. was so 
 harshly treated. L 
 
 (u knowVthat your father 
 
 iress, thztt she is shortly 
 
 Veritas, to this gentle- 
 
 ou ma& ^so know, that I 
 
 ischa^se the late Mr. 
 
 Sir Sol. And 
 has made Albina 
 to be married to 1 
 man's tutor, sir ; an 
 expect you instantly to 
 
 Howard's debt for ti 
 How. Mr. Howar 
 Sir Sol. Yes, sir 
 surety. I have his 
 as he ought, I'd 
 asked him fof\it 
 
 cnte 
 
 elve hundi^ 
 s debt*' 
 Ir. Iftai 
 nd ; a! 
 e died rather 
 now — ^J 
 
 vant in livery. 
 
 d pounds, 
 father's ? 
 ville was his 
 ad he behaved 
 than have 
 
 Serv. Sir, Miss Albina and her governess are 
 this moment arrived Vt the castle. 
 
 Sir Sol. Are they ? \i\ll wait upon them di- 
 rectly. Mr. Mandevilffc^ don't expect to sea— 
 your daughter : for, till she is married to the V 
 tutor, Mrs. Rigid means to seclude her from alk S^ 
 society : and for you, George Howard, youV^ry 
 must not associate with a man of his character. 
 Though your father behaved ill to him, remem- 
 ber you are not responsible for his ingratitude. 
 

 12 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Now for the castle, next for the cottage, and 
 then " All for love, or the World well lost." [exit- 
 - Mand. Then all's confirmed, and I've no hope* 
 no friend ! What's to be done ? whither shall I 
 go ? where fly ? who will receive so lost a 
 wretch as I am ? Pursued by enemies, abandon- 
 ed by a father, forsaken by my child ! who will* 
 who dare befriend me ? ^ 
 
 How. I will. 
 
 Mand. You ! 
 
 How. You have forgo{ me, Mr. Mandeville, 
 I see you have. You doi\'t recollect George 
 Howard, whom when a** boy you used to take 
 such notice of; I'm strangely altered since you 
 went to India, that is, in person only, I hope ; 
 for m mind and disposition I am still the same. 
 
 Mand. Are you \ 
 
 How. Oh, Mr. Mandevi'lle; I don't know why, 
 whether it is from the joy at seeing you, or from 
 the grief I feel at the cruej treatment you've re- 
 ceived, I don't know which it is, but I'm going 
 to be the same blubbering boy you left me. 
 
 Mand. Indeed ! 'Sdeath, this generosity af- 
 flicts me more than all their cruelty. Let me 
 go ; 1 heard your uncle's orders — " you must 
 not associate with a man of his character." Let 
 me begone. I will not involve you. 
 
 How. Not involve me ! Didn't my father in- 
 volve you I and if I've not the fortune to repay 
 the obligation, I'll prove I have the gratitude to 
 remember it. From this hour I am devoted to 
 your service : and if the friendship of the son 
 can atone for the injuries of the parent, I shall 
 be far happier in partaking your distresses than 
 in sharing my unfeeling unrle.'s richer.. 
 
Act I] THE WILL. U 
 
 *—»Mand. I am most grateful ; but I cannot con- 
 sent — 
 
 How. You must, you shall consent: come, 
 come, your case is not so lost as you imagine. 
 The governess isn't the only person who has an 
 influence over your daughter; there is another — 
 
 Mand. Who ? this tutor ? 
 
 Hotv. No; his pupil. I flatter myself Albina 
 has no slight partiality for her father's friend. 
 
 Mand. For you ! how, and where did you 
 know her ? 
 
 How. IT1 tell you. When I and my tutor ar- 
 rived from the grand tour, we found Albina and 
 the governess at Dover. Mr. Veritas and Mrs. 
 Rigid being related, we often paid them visits ; 
 and while the schoolmaster and schoolmistress 
 moralised on the miseries of the world, their two 
 scholars as naturally conversed on its pleasures. 
 In short, we soon laughed ourselves into an at- 
 tachment; which the governess perceiving, Al- 
 bina was locked up, I turned out, and the tutor 
 destined for her husband. 
 -~- Mand. Indeed 1 And did she — forgive my 
 weakness, sir — did she once name her father ? 
 
 How. Often ; but the governess has instilled 
 into her young mind such notions of your barba- 
 rity, and at the same time of her own benevo- 
 lence, that she looks on her as a parent, you as 
 an enemy. However, don't despair ; if we can 
 once gain an interview — and what say you ? 
 Shall we go to the castle directly ? 
 
 Mand. 'Twill be in vain. The gates will be 
 9hut against us. 
 
 Homo. Never mind ; we'll force them ©pen 
 Come. 
 
 B 
 
14 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 * Mand. Nay, but consider you are dependent 
 on your uncle. 
 
 How. No matter. The hope that the name of 
 Howard may still be dear to him, who now has 
 so much cause to curse it, makes me superior 
 to all selfish thoughts. 
 
 Mand. Is it possible ? You that have had a 
 fashionable education ! you that have been 
 schooled in all the arts of modern foppery, and 
 foreign folly ! you to be the only one to pity or 
 befriend me ! 
 
 How. Why, the fact is, they tried hard to 
 spoil me, but I wouldn't let them : they sent me 
 all over the continent, before I'd been half over 
 England ; taught me foreign languages before I 
 knew my own'; instructed me how to pick my 
 teeth all the morning in Bond-street ; yawn all 
 night at the opera. But I was a bad scholar, 
 Mr. Mandeville : and the satisfaction I feel at 
 this moment proves I did right to educate my- 
 self. Now then for Albina ! They may have 
 perverted my head, but I assure you, they hav'n't 
 corrupted my heart. [exeunt 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 soene I — a modern aliartment in thejcastle. 
 enter verritas and Mrs. rigid. 
 
 Mrs. R. Yes, yes: Albina already thinks me 
 the best of women, and shall soon believe that 
 you are the first of men. 
 
 Ver. Granted : but about Howard—- Is she as 
 fond of him as ever ? 
 
Act II] THE WILL. 15 
 
 Mrs. R. No; she don't like him half so well 
 as she did. Ever since he left Dover, I have 
 been undermining him, and extolling you ; and 
 in proof of my argument, Sir Solomon has just 
 told her of Howard's intimacy with a game- 
 keeper's daughter. This has roused her jea- 
 lousy, her indignation. 
 
 Ver. Indeed ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Yes ; and as he has now lost her af- 
 fections — 
 
 Ver. I may soon win them : bravo, master 
 Veritas ! you're lord and master often thousand 
 a year ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Ten thousand ? heyday ! have you 
 forgot our agreement ? Please to recollect that 
 on the day of your marriage with Albina, I am 
 to receive half. 
 
 Ver. Half? 
 
 Mrs. R. To be sure. What other motive 
 could I have for getting Mandeville disinherited ? 
 Did not Albina gain the property through my 
 management ? Did not I make a dupe of the 
 grandfather ? 
 
 Ver. You did. 
 
 Mrs. R. And why do I give you my interest ? 
 Why do I select you for her husband ? why, 
 but because you are to give me a moiety ? 
 
 Ver. Granted. We'll divide the fortune, and 
 thus I seal the bargain, thus with a righteous 
 kiss— 
 
 Mrs. R. (drawing back) How ! is the man out 
 of his senses ? Don't you recollect— 
 
 Ver. I *do. I beg pardon— you're for the 
 Platonic. 
 
 Mrs. R. I am for the Platonic system, sir, 
 
16 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 and hitherto I have not suffered my lips to be 
 profaned by man ! Never, sir ! not so much 
 from fear of the consequences to myself, as 
 from the danger in which it might involve all 
 mankind. 
 
 Ver. That's true philanthropy, Mrs. Rigid ; 
 and the longer you persevere in your system the 
 more our sex will be obliged to you. Ha ! here 
 comes Albina. Pray, is she also for the Platonic ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Sweet little innocent ! she has hard- 
 ly sense enough to discriminate one passion 
 from another. She is the most artless, lively, 
 tender-hearted creature ! Look at her, cousin. 
 Only eighteen. 
 
 enter albina. 
 
 Alb. Oh, governess ! I have been all over the. 
 castle, looking at the rooms, the pictures, the — 
 
 (seeing Veritas, she stofis) 
 
 Mrs. R. 'Tis Mr. Veritas. You saw him at 
 Dover, you know. 
 
 Alb. So I did ; he was there at the same time 
 Mr. Howard was. Oh, lord ! I'm so happy to 
 see you, sir ! I am indeed. 
 
 Ver. Granted. She loves me ! Poor pupil ! 
 poor Howard ! {aside to Mrs. Rigid) 
 
 Alb. That I am, because nowl shall hear some- 
 thing about Mr. Howard, (to Veritas) Pray, 
 Mr. Tutor — first we'll talk of his looks, if you 
 please— -Is he as handsome now, as charming as 
 ever ? 
 
 Mrs. R. For shame, Albina! After what you 
 have just heard from Sir Solomon, how can you 
 condescend to name him ? Did not he tell you 
 of his passion for a gamekeeper's daughter I 
 
 Alb. He did ; but— 
 
Act II] THE WILL. 17 
 
 Mrs. JR. What, miss ? 
 
 Alb. That passion may be only Platonic, you 
 know, governess ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Look'ye : let me hear no more of 
 Mr. Howard. If you mention his name again, 
 I'll resort to my old mode of punishment ; I'll 
 shew you I have not forgot the art of locking 
 up, miss. 
 
 Alb. There now ! I thought it would come to 
 this : the owner of this immense castle will pass 
 most of her days in one of the closets ! 
 
 Mrs. R. No murmuring, but go directly with 
 this worthy man ; walk with him to see the 
 park, the plantations. 
 
 Alb. Well, since it must be so, come, Mr. — 
 Worthy. 
 
 Ver. (aside to Albino) Mum ! I am not what 
 I seem. When we're alone, I'll communicate. 
 Cousin, we take our leave. 
 
 Alb. Madam, good day. (going) 
 
 enter sir solomon. 
 
 Alb. Oh, Sir Solomon, you're the very person 
 I wanted to see. Do you know, there's an old 
 man in the hall, who says he was servant to my 
 grandfather thirty years ; and now because his 
 dogs killed a hare on your grounds, that he is 
 dismissed from his place, and he and his family 
 must starve. Dear ! if all your game is pur- 
 chased at so high a price, I wonder you're not 
 choaked ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Go where I ordered you, miss. Sir 
 Solomon and I have business. 
 
 Alb. And, Sii*— Sir Solomon ! how came you 
 to trouble yourself about Mr. Howard's love af- 
 
 b2 
 
18 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 fairs ? I tell you what — I believe you're a great 
 poacher, and if I catch you snaring any game on 
 my manor — 
 
 Mrs. R. Begone, miss ; begone directly. 
 
 Alb. Well, I'm going, governess, I'm going. 
 Come, Mr. Tutor ; and if we meet that poor old 
 man by the way, I'll tell him he may kill ail the 
 game on my estate ; and if that won't keep his fa- 
 mily from starving, I'll bid him shoot all Sir So- 
 lomon's. I have plenty of money, and I can't dis- 
 pose of it better than in protecting an old fa- 
 vourite of him who gave it me ! Come, good 
 b'ye. [ Veritas and Albina exeunt 
 
 Sir Sol. Urn ! there's the sex, there's true wo- 
 man ! 
 
 Mrs. R. I must watch her — -her disposition 
 alters with her fortune. But, Sir Solomon, now 
 we're alone, what is the secret you promised to 
 communicate to me? 
 
 Sir Sol. I'll tell you— Mandeville is arrived— 
 I've seen him. 
 
 Mrs. R. Seen Mandeville ! 
 
 Sir. Sol. Not half an hour ago. He is now in 
 search of his daughter. 
 
 Mrs. R. Mandeville come home ! Mercy ! 
 What shall we do ? Why, if he once gets hold 
 of her, he'll persuade her to pay his debts, trick 
 her out of the whole fortune. 
 
 Sir Sol. I know it. He's a sad profligate ; 
 and therefore do you lock up Albina, and I'll 
 lock up Mandeville. We'll keep them apart, 
 till she has got a husband to protect her. I'll 
 go directly, and order Realize to take out a writ. 
 
 Mrs. R. Will you ? 
 
 ,, 
 
Act II] THE WILL. 19 
 
 Sir Sol. t will. Odsheart ! it was the wish 
 of my life that Howard should marry Albina ; 
 but his attachment to other women shows he is 
 not worthy her affections ; and his now associat- 
 ing with her father, proves he would waste every 
 shilling of the property : therefore the sooner 
 she marries Mr. Veritas the better. Adieu ! Go 
 and lock her up. 
 
 Mrs. R. I won't lose a moment. Ah, Sir So- 
 lomon, if Mr. Howard had copied the example 
 «f his uncle ! If, like you, he had never associa- 
 ted with profligate men, or low-bred women ! 
 •—You would not have fixed your affections on a 
 game-keeper's daughter ? 
 
 Sir Sol. Me ! Lord help you, how could you 
 suppose such a thing ? {confused') 
 
 Mis. R. I don't suppose it I know she is too 
 unpolished, too illiterate— 
 
 Sir Sol. Psha ! she's too young, too — too 
 every thing. No, Mrs. Rigid, if ever I again 
 become a slave to the tender passions, I should 
 select a woman of your time of life, a woman of 
 experience. Your young things take no pains 
 to please a man ; they rely on their youth and 
 beauty : but your middle-aged woman, she is so 
 industrious ; she dresses at you, talks at you, 
 glances at you — Oh, time makes women won- 
 derfully dextrous in the art of love ! 
 
 [exeunt : Mrs. Rigid ogling Sir Solomon 
 
 scene ii— a garden. 
 
 enter Veritas and albina. 
 
 Ver. Ha ! ha ! ha ! I told you I was not what 
 I seemed. It was very well to put on the mask 
 
20 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 of learning and gravity before Sir Solomon and 
 Mrs. Rigid ; but now I'll pull it off, now I'll 
 show you my real character. Bless you, I'm an 
 honest fellow ! I'm a choice spirit, a buck of 
 the first water ! 
 
 Alb. And pray, sir, what a made a man of 
 your gaiety become an usher ? 
 
 Ver. You shall hear : I finished my fortune 
 before I finished my education. At Westminster 
 school- 1 found I could keep a curricle ; at Ox- 
 ford I found I could keep a pack of hounds, and 
 in London I found — I could not keep myself. 
 So not wishing so much talent should remain in 
 obscurity, I set up for tutor, in order to disperse 
 my knowledge amongst the rising generation. 
 
 Alb. Upon my word the rising generation is 
 very much obliged to you. 
 
 Ver. Nay : if I have not done much good, I 
 have done little harm ; for with all my follies, 
 of this you may be assured, I never did right 
 without rejoicing at it, or wrong without repent- 
 ing it. This is my history. And now to apply 
 my talents to the right purpose, to love ! here's 
 Mrs. Rigid. 
 
 enter Mrs. rigid. 
 
 Mrs. R. Cousin, a word, (takes Veritas aside) 
 Mandeville is returned from India : he and 
 Howard are now in search of Ubina; and if 
 an interview takes place, we are undone. Go ; 
 and if you find Mandeville, give notice to Real- 
 ize, and he'll arrest him instantly. 
 
 Ver. Arrest him I 
 
 Mrs. R. To be sure. What does the man 
 stare at ? have you any objection ? 
 
Act II] THE WILL. 21 
 
 Ver. Why, I think when a gentleman comes 
 a long journey— 
 
 Mrs. R. Well, sir ? 
 
 Ver. That a spunging-house is a bad sort of 
 inn to put up at. 
 
 Mrs. R. How, are you only half a sinner ? do 
 you repent our bargain ? Mighty well, sir, 
 mighty well ! A fine girl and five thousand a 
 year isn't likely long to want a husband ; others 
 may be found, sir — 
 
 Ver. Granted : others may be found ; and five 
 thousand a-year is not to be despised. Besides, 
 I shall make amends by making her a good hus- 
 band. So I'll swallow my scruples, and go di- 
 rectly. Cousin, your servant. Miss Albina, adieu. 
 
 \jxii 
 
 Mrs. R. Albina, I beg you will instantly ac- 
 company me to the castle ; and, for reasons 
 which I will hereafter explain to you, I must 
 request you to live in private, neither to pay nor 
 receive visits. j 
 
 Alb. Lord ! I know your reigns well enough; 
 you want me not to see /Mr. Hfoward. Well, I 
 do love him, that's th$ tnrtshX on't : but if he 
 don't love me, what can I doyYou know ? No ! 
 I had rather not see him^ 'tjyuft remind me of 
 past happiness ; and if he\benshut out from me, 
 the more private I live the Better. Come, I'll 
 think of him no more. 
 
 Mrs. R. Spoke like a girl of prober pride and 
 exalted spirit. Now, all's safe. 
 
 (as they are going, Howard enters") 
 
 How. So, I've found you at last, Albina : I 
 called at the castle, and the servants told me 
 they had orders from Doctor Busby not to ad- 
 
22 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 mit me. — I beg pardon, Mrs. Rigid, I didn't al- 
 lude to you, I didn't mean to call you Doctor 
 Busby. 
 
 Mrs R. None of your insolence, sir I Albina 
 is no more willing to be troubled with your 
 company than I am. 
 
 Homo. Isn't she ? 
 
 Mrs. R. No : you may hear your dismissal 
 from her own mouth. Speak, child ; repeat to 
 him what you imparted to me this moment. 
 
 Alb. I can't. Do you speak for me. 
 
 Mrs. R. Repeat it, I tell you ; show him you 
 don't care for him : say you are all gaiety and 
 cheerfulness : say so, I insist. 
 
 Alb. Sir, sir, I am all gaiety and cheerfulness ! 
 I'm so happy that — Oh, oh, oh ! (bursts into 
 tears) I shall break my heart, that's what I 
 shall ! 
 
 How. So ! this is a new mode of being cheer- 
 ful. 
 
 Mrs. R. Ideot, baby ! call forth your pride : 
 remember your rank, your fortune. 
 
 Alb. Fortune ! what's the use of it, while an- 
 other is heiress to his affections ? If the game- 
 keeper's daughter will give me his heart, I'm 
 sure I'll give her my estate. Oh, Mr. Howard ! 
 
 (going uji to him J 
 
 Mrs. R. (laxjing hold of her) This isn't to be 
 borne ; come with me this moment ; stand out 
 of the way, sir. Come, I command you. 
 
 How. Hold ! (detaining Albina) It isn't on 
 my own account I thus rudely detain you ; 'tis 
 on your father's. 
 
 Alb. My father's! 
 
 How. He is arrived from India, unfortunate 
 man ! — is now in the neighbourhood. 
 
Act II] THE WILL. ^ 23 
 
 Alb. Is he ? We'll go to him directly. Come, 
 governess. 
 
 Mrs. R. Go to him ! arc you mad ? Why he'll 
 ask you to pay all his debts. 
 
 Alb. No, he won't : for I'll offer it long be- 
 fore he can ask me. Come. 
 
 Mrs R. Have a care: don't go near him: I 
 know him to be so unprincipled and so desperate, 
 that if you refuse to give him up your fortune, I 
 shouldn't be surprised if he threatened, nay ac- 
 tually took away your life. 
 
 Alb. Took away my life ! Well, he gave it 
 me, you know, governess ; and as to the fortune, 
 that certainly ought to have been his. However, 
 as I never did, nor never will disobey you, I'll tell 
 you how we'll accommodate matters : Mr. How- 
 ard will be kind enough to say that you won't al- 
 low me to see him ; but that, as to money, 
 lord ! he may have what he likes. 
 
 Mrs. R. What he likes ? 
 
 Alb. Ay : bid him draw for a good round sum 
 at once, fifty thousand to begin with. And if 
 that won't do — 
 
 Hoiu. Oh, fifty thousand will do very well for 
 a beginning ! won't it, doctor ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Hear me, Albina. Would youundo 
 yourself, and abandon me ? I who have horsed 
 you, reared you, doated on you ? I wh< 
 been a mother when he proved no father 
 ungrateful girl, give all to him who forsojgit. you, 
 and leave her who cherished you to stai^jM^nd 
 die in a prison. ^ 
 
 Alb. Die in a prison ! Leave my kind, good 
 governess to die in a prison ? Oh lord ! I can't 
 bear the thought of it ! (Mrs. Rigid iveefis ) 
 
 
 
 ; rairsed 
 lolhave 
 
 r ?• Go, 
 
24 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Nay : don't cry so, speak to me, pray speak ; 
 Dear ! what was it she said, Mr. Howard ? 
 
 How. She said you'd better give me the fifty 
 thousand directly. 
 
 Mrs. R. Millions cannot save a man so ex- 
 travagant as Mr. Mandeville. This was your 
 grandfather's opinion ; and he left you the estate 
 solely to prevent his wasting it. And now would 
 you fly in the face of your benefactor ? and for 
 what ? Only because a faithless lover takes the 
 part of a selfish parent, who, till you became af- 
 fluent, never thought or enquired after you. 
 
 Alb. That's very true — 
 
 How. It's not ; it's false ! 
 
 Alb. I know better, sir. But for this good 
 woman, I might have starved, and I'm bound 
 to fulfil the intentions of my dear grandfather ; 
 and therefore — don't take on so, my dear go- 
 verness, and I'll follow your advice in every 
 thing — don't keep twitching me, Mr. Howard ! 
 I shall do whatever she orders me. 
 
 How. You will, will you ? 
 
 Alb. Yes ; I act differently from you, sir ; I 
 always obey my tutor, and I won't — 
 
 How. And you won't skip a task, or go out of 
 bounds, for fear of being whipped, hah ! Oh, 
 the good child ! Oh, the pretty Miss Albina ! 
 She shall have cakes and toys, and — Look'ye, 
 give over this childish nonsense, and go with 
 me to.ihe game-keeper's cottage- — 
 
 Abb. The game-keeper's cottage ? 
 
 How. (taking hold of her hcmd) There your 
 father is concealed ; I left him under the care of 
 Copsley's daughter, one of the kindest, best-dis- 
 posed — - 
 
Act II] THE WILL. 25 
 
 Alb. (taking away her hand J Go, sir, I'm 
 satisfied, and I hate you, that's what I do : I 
 hate you more than ever I loved you. Come, 
 governess. 
 
 How. Why, Albina, why ? 
 
 Alb. I have as much pride as yourself, sir; 
 and since you treat me with indifference, I shall 
 treat you with scorn, with scorn, sir! Come, 
 madam. 
 
 How. 'Sdeath, what have I said ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Quite enough, sir : go to your dar- 
 ling rustic — go to your dear Mr. Mandeville ; 
 and, by way of consolation, tell him that if ever 
 you possess an estate— 
 
 How. If ever I do, madam, he shall have it 
 all. And I'll give it him, not so much from 
 motives of benevolence as of prudence ; since I 
 perceive that money can transform the most li- 
 beral to the most selfish ; and she who, without 
 a fortune, was all innocence, tenderness, and af- 
 fection, is, in affluence, suspicious, credulous, 
 and unfeeling — Farewell ! Mandeville has a 
 child still ; for, while you are a slave to your 
 governess, I'll be a son to your father. 
 
 Mrs. R. This is your resolution, is it ? 
 
 How. It is, most potent, grave, and reverend 
 doctor ! \exit 
 
 Mrs. R. Now, Albina, look at the advantages 
 of a good education : how contemptible was 
 Howard's conduct 1 how noble yours ! continue 
 to behave thus, and you shall be indulged in 
 every thing. 
 
 Alb. Ah ! I wish you would indulge me, go- 
 verness — there is a favour— 
 
 Mr*. R. l,s there ? name it* 
 C»3 
 
26 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Alb. Why, you already think me a good girl ; 
 but if I could be quite positive about Mr. How- 
 ard's inconstancy, I should be the very best girl 
 in the whole world. 
 
 Mrs. R. What, do you still doubt ? 
 Alb. How can I help it ? How can I think so 
 meanly of him or myself, as to suppose he 
 would prefer a girl that's like— in short that I 
 dare say is as unlike me as you are to Doctor 
 Busby. Come now, as he's gone to the cottage, 
 do let me follow him and be convinced. 
 Mrs. R. Follow him ? 
 
 Alb. Why not ? LoOk'ye, you and Sir Solo- 
 mon say he is guilty. Very well ! if I find him 
 so, I'll promise to marry the steward, the parson, 
 or the birch gentleman, any, or all of them if 
 you like. 
 
 Mrs R. There's no doubt of his guilt, and this 
 may complete her aversion ; therefore I'll let 
 her go. {aside) Well, on these conditions, I've 
 no objection. But how will you contrive ? 
 
 Alb. Oh, he sha'n't know me ; I'll put on 
 another dress. 
 
 Mrs. R. Another dress ? 
 Alb. Yes : I'll disguise myself as the little 
 Red Riding-hood, Little John, little Pickle, or 
 any other impudent character. Come, we'll set- 
 tle that as we go along : and if I find him inno- ' 
 cent, why you shall have one-half the estate ; 
 my father the other; and I and Mr. Howard 
 will live and die in the cottage, or any other 
 retired spot you choose to point out for us. 
 
 [exeunt 
 
Act III] THE WILL. 27 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 scene I— -view of open country , rh>er, cottage at 
 
 a distance, Ifc. 
 
 enter mandeville and Howard. 
 
 Mand. Nay, nay ; blame not Albina ; blame 
 the governess. 
 
 How. Not; blame her ! Oh, if I look, or speak, 
 or listen, or— 'sdeath you don't know half the fatal 
 consequences of her unfilial conduct ! Sir Solo- 
 mon has ordered Realize to arrest you : he and 
 bailiffs are now in search of you ; and, unless 
 you can instantly raise two thousand pound's, 
 you'll be imprison'd. 
 
 Mand. Well, I am resigned. 
 
 How. So am not I. I hate a gaol ; and as 
 I must follow you wherever you go, pray let us 
 keep in the open air as long as we can. The 
 fact is, there is no staying here without paying 
 your creditors ; therefore let's adjourn to Lon- 
 don : there we may do as we like. 
 • Mand. Do as we like ? 
 
 How. Ay : few people think of paying there. 
 Why, if every man in London were to be ar- 
 rested for the money he owed ! Mercy on us I 
 there'd be more prisons than carriages ; more 
 bailiffs than horses ; and men of fashion and 
 dashing citizens would be the two rarest com- 
 modities to be met with ! Oh, when a man is in 
 debt, the capital is the place to lie snug in ! 
 therefore let's begone directly. Stop though — 
 have you any cash ? 
 
 Mand. Not a guinea. Out of my pay as an 
 officer, I could hardly save money enough to 
 land me in mv native country. 
 
28 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 How. And I have not a shilling 1 ! and here 
 we are two hundred miles from Hyde Park cor- 
 ner, without two hundred pence to take us there. 
 What's to be done ? Will Sir Solomon advance ? 
 Not a halfpenny! Will the tutor? Notafarthing! 
 Will Realize ? 
 
 Mand. The steward ! he wouldn't give half 
 a crown to save both our lives. 
 
 How. Not half a crown to save our lives ! 
 Come, come, you wrong him there ; I'm sure 
 he'd give more to save mine. 
 
 Mand. More to save yours ! from what mo- 
 tive ? from benevolence ? 
 
 How. No : from self-interest. He has an an- 
 nuity on my life. The day I lose my existence 
 he loses a hundred a-year; and though he 
 wouldn't give a doit to save me from perdition, 
 I think he'd pay half a crown to preserve his 
 annuity. Look, here he comes : and now I think 
 on't, suppose I try to get our travelling expen- 
 ses out of him ? He is always enquiring after 
 my health, and — 
 
 Mand. 1 understand. I'll get out of the way. 
 
 How. Do. Retire behind those trees — mum I 
 Observe. {Mandeville goes behind trees) 
 
 enter realize. 
 
 Real. So, I've drawn out my forces to the 
 best advantage : two of my officers are in am- 
 bush near the castle, two are reconnoitering on 
 the London road, and two — ha ! Mr. Howard I 
 how d'ye do, Mr. Howard ? 
 
 How. Hem ! (coughing and stuffing his hand- 
 kerchief into his mouth) 
 
Act III] THE WILL. B9 
 
 Real. Have you seen any thing of Mandeville ? 
 I've two writs out against him, one on my own 
 account, the other on Sir Solomon's ; and if 
 you'll tell me where he is — {Howard coughs 
 loudly) Why, what's the matter with you ? 
 That's an ugly cough. 
 
 How. Ugly ! it's frightful, it's — hem ! Oh, 
 Mr. Realize, I'm very ill. 
 
 Real. Ill ! You were very well yesterday, and 
 the day before, and every day since you came 
 from your travels. 
 
 How. That's it : I didn't mention it before, 
 Mr. Realize, for fear of distressing you ; but, 
 during my travels — Ough ! ou ! ou ! {coughing 
 violently) I slept in the Pontine marshes ; and 
 the pestiferous dews so inflamed my lungs, that 
 ever since — Hoop ! oop ! '^coughing) I shall die, 
 that's certain. 
 
 Real. Die ! Impossible ! Die ! I've an annuity 
 on his life ! Oh, curse those Pontine marshes ! 
 
 How. It's all Sir Solomon's fault. If he'd let 
 me follow the doctor's advice, I should save my 
 life, and you your annuity. But avarice, Mr.— ■ 
 ava — Oop ! — hem ! I'm a dead man ! 
 
 Real. You're not ! Now pray live ! I'll take it 
 as a favour if you live. My dear Mr. Howard, 
 what did the doctor prescribe ? 
 
 How. Change of air and Bristol waters. 
 
 Real. Bristol waters ! 
 
 How. Yes, sir ; and because I can't raise mo- 
 ney to take me there — Oop !— because Sir Solo- 
 mon won't advance a few pounds-— 
 
 Real. I'm to lose a hunclred a year. Oh, the 
 hard-hearted savage ! Why, I'd better give the 
 money myself. I will. Here, >lr. Howard, (taking 
 
 c 2 
 
30 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 out a fiurse) I was always of a humane disposi- 
 tion, and so here's thirty — Hold, though, are 
 you sure the Bristol waters will cure you ? 
 
 How. Certain. The detergency of the atmos- 
 phere; the absorbency of the chalybeate; the 
 
 ponderosity of Hau ! au 1 — I'm convulsed ! 
 
 Support me, lay hold of me ! (in his convulsions 
 he lays hold of the hand in which Realize has the 
 fiurse) So, let me go : I'm better now — thank'- 
 ye. (takes away his hand and the fiurse with it) 
 
 Real. Better ! 'Gad, no wonder at it. The dose 
 you've taken is more likely to do you good than 
 detergency, absorbency, or all the doctors and 
 apothecaries in Europe ! However, a hundred 
 per annum is worth thirty pounds, or the devil's 
 in it ! So keep it, and good bye to you. Hark'ye, 
 though, if you see Mandeville, don't say I've 
 placed bailiffs on the London road. 
 
 How. I wont. Good bye. I hope I shall mend 
 for your sake, Mr. Realize. 
 
 Real. I hope you will. But if you do not, if 
 you find you grow worse, write me word you 
 are coming home full of health and spirits, and 
 I'll go directly to Sir Solomon, talk of the good- 
 ness of your life, and sell him the annuity at a 
 premium. That will be punishing him for his 
 stinginess, and paying me for the dose of physic 
 I've given you. Farewell! keep yourself warm, 
 and success to the Bristol waters. Oh, curse 
 those Pontine marshes. \jxit 
 
 How. O bless them, I say. Ha, ha, ha ! I'm 
 cured of my cough now— Hem ! (clearing him- 
 self) Come forth, Mr. Mandeville. (Mandeville 
 re-enters) Come and congratulate your friend 
 on the recovery of his health. Look : will you 
 go to Bristol ? 
 
 
Act lllj THE WILL. 31 
 
 Mand. No : to London. 
 
 How. Not yet ; there are enemies on the road. 
 We must wait till the pursuit is over ; and, as 
 I know no safer place than Copsley's cottage, 
 let's return there instantly. Let us go sit and 
 rail at the governess and Albina. 
 
 Maud. Never. I must still think she is my 
 daughter, and hope the time may come when she 
 will imitate her mother's virtues. Oh, Howard, 
 you should have known Amelia : she had a heart 
 as generous as your own : like you she gave up 
 all for a distressed, unhappy— 
 
 How. Nay ; no more melancholy now, Mr, 
 Mandeville. How can a man talk of distress, 
 when he sees he can raise thirty pounds the mo- 
 ment he wants it ? A slight cough and a short 
 convulsion will be at any time a bank note to us. 
 So now for the cottage ; and over a jug of old 
 Copsley's October, let us drink " Confusion to 
 our enemies and the Pontine marshes, and suc- 
 cess to ourselves and the Bristol waters." 
 
 [holding uji a purse and exeunt 
 
 scene \i~-a forward landscape. 
 
 enter albina, in the uniform of a lieutenant of 
 the navy, Mrs. rigid and realize. 
 
 Mrs. R. We won't detain you a moment, Mr. 
 Steward. Only show us the way to Copsley's 
 cottage, and you may return to your pursuit of 
 Mandeville. This young gentleman, Mr. Her- 
 bert — 
 
 Real. Herbert ! Pray is this one of the late 
 Mrs. Mandeville's nephews? 
 
:,2 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Alb. I am, sir. I am the first cousin of Miss 
 Albina, sir ; of that much wronged and most 
 beautiful creature, sir. I am lately come from 
 sea, and have been in so many fiery engagements 
 that I don't know whether I am alive or dead, 
 sir ! 
 
 Real. Po, po ! nonsense ! (fiuts on his specta- 
 cles and looks close at Albina) You been in fiery 
 engagements ! pooh ! 
 
 Mrs. R. Come, come ; Mr. Realize is too 
 well acquainted with every part of the family to 
 be imposed upon ; and therefore we may as 
 well trust him at once. It is Albina : she has 
 put on this disguise to detect Mr. Howard in his 
 love affair with the gamekeeper's daughter. 
 
 Alb. Yes, sir ; with that little coarse, tann'd 
 — Show us the way, sir ; I know Mr. Howard 
 is now at the cottage. 
 
 Real. Do you ? That's very good. Love af- 
 fair too ! ha, ha ! I wish you could prove your 
 words. 
 
 Alb. Why, sir? 
 
 Real. Because it would have saved me thirty 
 pounds. Why, poor gentleman, he is not in a 
 state to make love — 
 
 Alb. How, sir ? 
 
 Real. No ; the Pontine marshes have played 
 the devil with his lungs, and he is gone to drink 
 the Bristol waters. 
 
 Mrs. R. Gone to Bristol ! When ? 
 
 Real. Now, this very moment. 
 
 Alb. Which way ? How did he go ? 
 
 Real. How ? Why, he went with my money. 
 
 Mrs. R. Psha ! This is all an imposition ; all 
 a contrivance of Howard's to avoid detection-. 
 
Act III] THE WILL. 33 
 
 Lead on, sir ; I'm sure his lungs were sound 
 enough two hours ago. 
 
 Real. Well, have it your own way : I only 
 wish I was as sure of keeping my annuity as 
 that you won't find him at the cottage. No, 
 and what's more to the purpose, that you find 
 somebody else there. 
 
 Mrs. R. Somebody else ! Whom, sir ? 
 
 Real. No less a gentleman than Sir Solomon 
 Cynic. Not ten minutes ago I saw him hovering 
 about the spot, like an old kite over a brood of 
 chickens. 
 
 Mrs. R. Why, the man's mad. Sir Solomon 
 make love ! Show us the way, I insist, sir. 
 Come, child. 
 
 Alb. Dear ! if after all, the old woman-hater 
 should turn out to be the real poacher ! if he 
 should, governess, I'm sure you won't any longer 
 forbid me the sight of Mr. Howard. 'Tis cruel 
 to sport with the affections of a lover ; and in 
 the words of the old song, let me remind you— - 
 
 SONG. 
 
 If 'tis joy to wound a lover, 
 
 How much more to give him ease ! 
 
 When his passion we discover, 
 
 Oh, how pleasing 'tis to please ! 8cc. [exeunt 
 
 scene in — a room in Cofisley's cottage ; birds of 
 firey fiainted on the wall ; a recess, with several 
 trusses of straw in it ; before recess an old 
 green curtain, jiartly broken down ; a table and 
 two chairs ; basket with ajifiles ; jug of ale and 
 small mug. 
 
 sir solomon discovered kneeling to cicely. 
 
 Sir Sol. Oh, you loveliest of all creatures ! 
 When I railed at the sex I did not know you : 
 
34 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 you have converted me ; your charms have made 
 me a proselyte, and here I swear, here in this 
 low submissive, suppliant— Wheugh ! (whistling 
 with fiain) This it is to be out of practice ! My 
 knees are so unaccustomed to the office, that I 
 believe I'd better get up while I'm able ; (rises) 
 So, come, I'll give you a toast, my little cherub ; 
 (goes to the tableland takes up, a jug of ale) Here's 
 Cupid, victorious Cupid ! 
 
 Cic. Lord ! you're so gallant, Sir Solomon I 
 
 Sir Sol. Gallant ! I have more requisites for 
 a lover than any man since the days of Mark 
 Antony. I can write sonnets, throw glances, talk 
 nonsense, tell lies, sing, dance— no, hang it, I 
 can't dance ; if I could, I shouldn't be compelled 
 to drink " Confusion to all dancing-masters !" 
 
 (drinking) 
 
 Cic. Well ; but, your honour, I hope my poor 
 father will be restored to his situation ; I am so 
 unhappy — 
 
 Sir Sol. I see you are, and I know the cause. 
 Take comfort, I'll give you love for love. But 
 how shall we meet ? how carry on our amour in 
 a snug, private, pastoral way ? how shall I steal 
 to you unnoticed and unseen ? And now I think 
 on't— zounds ! I hope nobody's observing us — 
 if I should be found out, if / should be detected 
 in an intrigue ! 
 
 Cic. An intrigue, sir ? 
 
 Sir Sol. Hark'ye : to make all safe, we'll go to 
 London. There we may make assignations with- 
 out being talked of or interrupted. 
 
 Cic. (with anger) Indeed ! 
 
 Sir Sol. Yes. There half the town are playing 
 at the same game : but here in the country, if 
 
Act III] THE WILL. 35 
 
 one gets a sly kiss, the whole village is sure to 
 hear the smack of it. So Marybone is the mark, 
 a new house and smart liveries ; a curricle and 
 a pair of greys ; a piano-forte and a lap-dog — 
 and you shall go by another name. 
 
 Cic. What, shall I change my name ? Oh, sir ! 
 
 (curtsies very low) 
 
 Sir Sol. To be sure ; you shall no longer be 
 called Cicely Copsley. 
 
 Cic. Shall I be your wife ? Oh, dear ! (with 
 great joy ) 
 
 Sir Sol. My wife ? 
 
 Cic. Shall I be lady Cynic ? 
 
 Sir Sol. You lady Cynic ! you my — ha, ha, ha ! 
 Why, my dear girl, you misconceive ; I wish to 
 intrigue myself; I don't want to be the cause of 
 intriguing in others : marry you ! Lord help 
 you, I wouldn't take such a liberty, (knocking 
 at the door J Hah ! what, who's here ? 
 
 Cic. Heaven knows ; perhaps my father, per- 
 haps Mr. Howard, perhaps — 
 
 Sir Sol. A dancing-master ! Oh, you sorce- 
 ress, you've lured me here to expose me. 
 
 Howard, (without) Holloa, Copsley, Cicely ! 
 
 Sir Sol. Howard's voice ! mercy on me ! if 
 you don't get me off, I'll have your father hang'd 
 — I'll— -here — I'll go into this room. 
 
 Cic. Stop, that's my chamber : here, sir, go 
 into that place, (pointing to the recess) and I'll 
 draw the curtain before you. Quick, quick. 
 
 Sir Sol. This is my first amour these twenty 
 years : and if ever I come near a petticoat again 
 may Cupid fly away with me ! (he enters recess 
 and sits on a truss of straw) So, draw the cur- 
 tain. 
 
36 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Cic. I can't : you see it's broken down, and 
 — Dear, dear, how shall I fasten it ? 
 
 Sir Sol. Here, here, my cane has a sword in 
 it; (draws the sword out of the cane, and gives 
 it to Cicely) If there's a cranny in the wainscot, 
 run this through the curtain; if not, run it 
 through my body. (Cicely gets ufion a chair and 
 runs the sword through the curtain, which supports 
 it) Oh, woman, woman ! destructive, damnable, 
 deceitful woman ! (Sir Solomon is concealed, and 
 Cicely opens the door) 
 
 enter mandeville and Howard. 
 
 How. (holding the door open and looking out) 
 Look out, look out, I tell you : 'tis Realize and 
 the governess ; and by their coming this way, 
 I fear you are discovered. Hush, observe. 
 
 Mand. I do ; and see, the young naval officer 
 is advancing towards the cottage ! 
 
 How. So he is : we must avoid him. 
 
 Albina. (without) " The stormy main, the 
 wind and rain." (singing) 
 
 How. Ah, you chirruping scoundrel ! I tell 
 you what, we had better step into this apartment, 
 and let Cicely get rid of him : mind, nobody is 
 here, Cicely. That a naval officer ! pooh ! don't 
 you see through his disguise ? 
 
 Mand. Disguise ? 
 
 How. He's a bailiff: can't you discriminate 
 between the navy and the law, between a sea 
 officer and a sheriff's officer ? I know by the 
 rascal's impudent swagger that he's a bailiff. 
 Here he comes ; mum, retire. 
 
 r , exeunt at the opposite dovr 
 
Act III] THE WILL. 37 
 
 (inter albina in the uniform. 
 
 Alb. {spying and walking round the room) 
 " The stormy main, the wind and rain ["(singing) 
 I don't see Mr. Howard*-— " My ardent passion 
 prove !" He's concealed somewhere, I suppose. 
 " Lash'd to the helm" — (goes up to the curtain) 
 He's here ;-— " Should seas o'erwhelm" — 
 "> Cic. (stopping her) What do you Want, sir ? 
 
 Alb. " To think of thee, my love !" (trying to 
 undraw the curtain) 
 
 Cic. (pulling her away) There's nobody there, 
 sir. 
 
 Alb. Then they're here ; " And think of thee, 
 my love ! " (goes towards the door) Perhaps, af- 
 ter all, he is really gone to Bristol ; and his lungs 
 are so much out of order, (trying to often the 
 door, and finding it locked) Lock'd ! where's the 
 key ? Oh, oh, (stoops down) I see him through 
 the key-hole. Oh, you barbarian ! (Cicely-tries 
 to pull her away) If you toucn me, you little 
 vulgar thing, I'll cut you into atoms. I see you, 
 Mr. Howard. (hollaing throjugh the key-hole) 
 
 Cic. Sir, I beseech you-— / 
 
 Alb. (trying to pull the door open) Oh, if I 
 could but get at him ! Come out, sir, or I'll pull 
 the door — (shaking it violently) 
 
 enter Howard. 
 
 How. Well, sir, what do you want, sir ? what 
 have you to say ? 
 
 Alb. Say, sir ! I'm glad, your lungs are better. 
 
 How. (standing before the door) My lungs ! 
 Ilark've, sir, if vou want Mr. Mandeville — 
 
 D 
 
38 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Alb. I want you, and only you, sir ; my name 
 is Herbert, I am first cousin to Albina ; and if 
 you don't instantly fall on your knees, and ask 
 pardon for the insults you have put upon her, 
 I'll make you a companion for that wild goose, 
 I'll run you through the body, and pin you 
 against the wall — 'slife, now I look at you, I 
 wonder what she could see in your ugly face to 
 be so fond of you. 
 
 How. I'm glad it's not a bailiff, however, {aside) 
 Sir, if you are that lady's cousin, I must inform 
 you she isn't worth my pity, or your resent- 
 ment. She is neither faithful to her lover, nor 
 affectionate to her father ; in short, sir, I thought 
 her a child of nature, and I found her a Becky. 
 
 Alb. A Becky ! 
 
 How. Yes : a Becky, sir : and till she reforms 
 her conduct, not all the fighting men in Europe 
 shall make me alter mine. This is my determi- 
 nation, and so you may tell her, good Captain 
 Bobadil. 
 
 Alb. Bobadil! 
 
 How. Yes : Bobadil may tell Becky— 
 
 Alb. Draw, sir. (Jiulls out her sword) 
 
 Cic. Hold, I entreat you, what is the cause — 
 
 Alb. You. Come, sir. (flourishing her sword) 
 ■Cic. Me? 
 
 Alb. His love for you is the cause. Sir Solo- 
 mon told me of his falsehood, and now — 
 
 Cic. Sir Solomon told you ? — Oh ! base, slan- 
 derous man ! Love never brought Mr. Howard 
 to our cottage. No : he came from a far better 
 motive, to bring money to my father, to relieve 
 the distresses of his family : and, with gratitude 
 1 speak it, he has already saved us from ruin. 
 
Act III] THE WILL. 39 
 
 Alb. Indeed ! 
 "- Cic. Yes : but for him we should have 
 perished ; and, as a proof that I wasn't the ob- 
 ject of his affections, often and often have I 
 heard him say, that Miss Albina was the girl of 
 his heart, and that he never would or could love 
 any other. 
 
 Alb. (smiling) Oh, did you say this, Mr. 
 Howard ? 
 
 How. You have heard my determination. I 
 will not be teased with interrogatories. 
 
 Alb. (going up to him) Nay, don't be so 
 hasty, Mr. Howard. Consider, if Sir Solomon 
 has deceived me — 
 
 How. 'Tis now too late, sir : your visit, her 
 partiality for her perfidious governess, and her 
 neglect of a too liberal parent, are all, all so dis- 
 graceful, that, if ever I love again, depend on't 
 Albina won't be the object. 
 
 Alb. (sharply) She won't ! Who will then, 
 sir ? 
 
 How. W T ho, sir ! 
 
 Alb. Ay, who, sir ? will this little, coarse, in- 
 sensible peasant ? 
 
 How. Insensible! look him in the face, Cice- 
 ly : (taking her hand) tell him you would die 
 to serve your father ; and ask him if Albina 
 would shed a tear to save hers. 
 
 Alb. He presses her hand ! let it go, sir ; if 
 you value your life, take away your hand, sir. 
 
 How. Why ? she deserves it as much as your 
 cousin. 
 
 Alb. I can't bear it, take it away ! Then say 
 
 your prayers, for you hav'n't a moment to live. 
 
 (poking at him with her sword) 
 
40 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 How. Keep off, sir, you see I've no arms. 
 
 Alb. No arms ! that's a poor evasion, coward ! 
 
 How. Coward ! Oh, that I could find a wea- 
 pon ! is there no poker, no knife, no — ha, what 
 N do I see ? a sword ! Now, villain ! 
 
 Cic. Hear me, sir, don't touch it, for Heaven's 
 sake ! 
 
 Alb. Hear her, sir, don't touch it, for Heaven's 
 sake ! 
 
 How. Thus I expose folly and deception I 
 (pulls out the sword that supports the curtain, 
 it falls , and Sir Solomon is discovered sitting 1 on 
 one truss of straw, with others around him J Ex- 
 pose folly and deception indeed ! 
 
 Alb. He's innocent, he's innocent ! Oh, How- 
 *ard ! 
 
 How. What, the old woman-hater turned 
 poacher ! ha, ha, ha ! Why, uncle ! 
 
 Alb. Why, man of straw ! ha, ha, ha ! Look 
 how the old fox squats in the stubble ! Come, 
 (handing him out) what have you to say ? 
 
 Sir Sol. Nothing. I'll go home and read Pa- 
 radise Lost. 
 
 How. And curse Cupid and Mark Antony. 
 And now, sir, (to Albina) what have you to say ? 
 
 Alb. That I sincerely ask your pardon : that 
 I see you have been slandered, cruelly slandered. 
 And if Albina was before partial to you, she shall 
 now esteem you more than ever. Will you for- 
 give me, sir ? I'll tell her all that has passed, 
 every thing — no, I wont tell her you called her 
 Becky. You don't call her Becky now, do you \ 
 
 Mrs. Rigid, {without) Mr. Herbert ! Mr. Her- 
 bert ! 
 
 Alb. You hear I'm called, sir : do we part 
 friends ? 
 
Act III] THE WILL. 4i 
 
 How. We do : I'm satisfied. 
 
 Alb. And I needn't mention Becky ? 
 
 How. No, no. 
 
 Alb. Then, let my governess say what she 
 w ill, Howard is the husband for Albina ! [aside) 
 Farewell, sir, we shall meet again. Cicely, 
 there's money for you. And, Sir Solomon, the 
 next time a game-keeper catches one of your 
 hares, don't snare one of his daughters, and 
 make him starve for it into the bargain. And 
 also, to cover your own poaching practices, 
 don't slander an innocent gentleman. If you do, 
 I'll chain you to your bed of straw, depend on't. 
 Adieu, Mr. Howard. 
 
 "Lash'dto the helm, should seas o'erwhelm, 
 I'll think on thee, my love." [exit 
 
 Sir Sol. Sir, you may smile, and chuckle, and 
 triumph ; but I'll be revenged on you and Mr. 
 Mandeville yet. I know he is in that room. I 
 saw him sneak in there ; and while Realize se- 
 cures him, Veritas shall secure Albina I'll 
 overtake Mrs. Rigid, the-match shall take place 
 this very night ; and then, sir — 
 
 How. Nay ; why should you fret ? Upon my 
 soul, I think you're a very lucky fellow— if you 
 had not been in the straw, somebody else might. 
 You understand ? 
 
 Sir Sol. I do : and I've plague enough with 
 nephews without wishing for children to tor- 
 ment me. Let me go, let me follow Mrs. Rigid. 
 (Cicely sto/is him) Out of the way, jilt, sorceress, 
 Jezabel ! or, to sum up all in one emphatic 
 word-— out of the way, woman ! \_e.Scit 
 
 Mand. Qieejiing) Is the coast clear ? 
 d 2 
 
42 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Howard (opens the door,and enter Mandeville) 
 Well, have you heard what has passed ? 
 
 Island. I have. I perceive this is no longer a 
 place of safety ; and what's worse, that Albina's 
 marriage is to take place this very night ! Is 
 there no way to break it off ? Consider, for her 
 own sake, for yours, for mine, we should pre- 
 vent it, if we can. 
 
 How. Prevent it ! how ? 
 
 Mand. Have you no influence over the tutor ? 
 Has he no sense of honour ? 
 
 How. Why, if it be true, that " wine draws 
 forth the natural disposition of the heart," Ve- 
 ritas has still some virtue ; for over a bottle I've 
 seen him display most excellent qualities. I'll 
 go to him ; I'll try to delay, if not break off, the 
 marriage. In the mean time you shall take re- 
 fuge in the uninhabited part of the castle. 
 - Mand. Why there ? ^ 
 
 How. Because it is supposed to be haunted ; 
 and Realize and his followers won't come there, 
 for fear of seeing the devil before their time, 
 you know. Come, while I go to the tutor, Ci- 
 cely shall show you the place. Oh, you little 
 gleaner, if 1 had known that straw contained 
 such weighty heads of corn amongst it, how I 
 would have thresh'd it ! I'd have laid my flail 
 about its ears, till I had beat every grain of pre- 
 judice out of it, and made the old woman-hater 
 acknowledge, 
 
 That let us rail at women, scorn, and flout them, 
 We may live with, but cannot live without them. 
 
 Yexcunt 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 43 
 
 ACT IV. 
 
 scene i — a modern afiartment in the castle. 
 
 enter Howard and Veritas. 
 
 How. What, Veritas turn'd flincher I Come, 
 one more bottle, my boy. 
 
 Ver. I tell you I've had enough. I'm going 
 to be married ; and would you have me get 
 drunk before the ceremony's performed ? 
 
 How. To be sure : would a man marry in his 
 sober senses ? Come, though we're rivals, don't 
 let us be enemies ; though you've cut me out 
 with Albina, I bear you no ill will. Do let us 
 part friends. Come, one more bottle. 
 
 Ver. I would, but you know my failing, 
 George : wine makes me so cruelly sentimental, 
 it overflows my heart with sympathy, runs out 
 of my eyes in streams of sensibility ; and when 
 I'm no longer myself, I'm so moral and so 
 honest. 
 
 How. So you are. When you're not yourself, 
 you're a damn'd good sort of fellow. 
 
 Ver. Granted : I'm never so upright in my 
 conduct, as when I can't stand on my legs 1 
 Then wine always makes me speak truth; and 
 if I don't take care, I shall tell you at this mo- 
 ment, that I am a scoundrel, that the governess 
 is another, and that Albina — Good night, 
 George. After the wedding's over, I'll reform 
 and be a six-bottle man. But now, spare and 
 pity me. 
 
 How. Pity you ! why ? 
 
 Ver. Because I'm going to behave like a vil- 
 lain. 
 
44 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Honv. You're not: I'll prevent you. 
 
 Ver. 'Tis too late : the dark deed is on the 
 eve of execution. Albina's locked up in the old 
 baron's chamber — the lawyer has prepared the 
 settlement — the parson has got the license, and 
 — Damnation! what am I about — I shall confess 
 every thing— good night ! 
 
 How. Here's my uncle and the governess ! 
 What can it all mean ? look'ye, Veritas, if some 
 new act of villany is in preparation, do you think 
 I'll suffer my old fellow-traveller to be concerned 
 in it ? No : I have too much regard for your 
 honour ; and I know you are so apt to repent — 
 
 Ver. I am ; and the wine converts me already. 
 I'm a fair penitent ; and so let's go and drink 
 whole oceans — And yet, George, I don't like to 
 lose Albina : she is the only woman I shall ever 
 love. 
 
 How. Nonsense ! you've only drunk one bot- 
 tle, and therefore there's only one Albina. 
 Drink another, and there'll be a thousand Albi- 
 nas ! Come along, my fine fellow, and if wine 
 will make you moral, dam'me but you shall 
 drink honesty by hogsheads ! \_exeunt 
 
 enter sir solomon and Mrs. rigid. 
 
 Mrs. R. Don't tell me, Sir Solomon. Is she 
 to be my mistress, or am I to be hers ? Talk 
 of marrying Howard, and refusing Veritas, only 
 because you were uncurtain'd at the game-keep- 
 er's cottage. I wish you had never gone there, 
 with all my heart. 
 
 Sir Sol. So do I, with all my soul. But you 
 misconceive : I don't oppose the marriage ; I 
 only object to the manner of wooing. I don't 
 like using force. 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 45 
 
 Mrs. R. Why not, sir ? If entreaty fail, why 
 shouldn't force be employed ? Isn't it as much 
 her interest to marry a man of honour as it is 
 my duty to prevent her being united to a pro- 
 fligate ? 
 
 Sir Sol. That's true. 
 
 Mrs. R. And hasn't Mr. Veritas both your 
 promise and mine ; and would it be honourable 
 to break our word with him ? No ; I say once 
 for all, she shall be his wife this very night, 
 She is now locked up in the baron's chamber ; 
 and if she refuses, there she shall be imprison- 
 ed till she complies. She shall have no com- 
 panions but ghosts and spectres, no food but 
 bread and water, no bed but straw. 
 
 Sir Sol. Straw ! there I must intercede for 
 her : that's so bad a resting-place, that the 
 very thought of it will spoil my night's sleep 
 to a certainty. However, there is much rea- 
 son in what you say ; and if she won't select 
 a good husband, we must choose one for her. 
 So if the parson, the lawyer, and the tutor, are 
 ready, I'll join the party; and we'll proceed to 
 the baron's chamber in a body. 
 
 Mrs. R. Spoke like yourself, Sir Solomon. 
 Stay, wait here a moment, while I go and pre- 
 pare them. And if she dare be refractory — 
 
 Sir Sol. Refractory ! why a tutor and a go- 
 verness would alone terrify a girl of her age ; 
 but backed by a lawyer and a parson — Gad, I 
 should like to see any body stand up against so 
 formidable a quartette (exit Mrs. Rigid) I am 
 glad of this. Now Howard will lose Albina, 
 Mandeville will lose the estate, and the tutor 
 will be rewarded for his integrity and sobriety, 
 
46 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 (noise without) Bravo, here they come, and all in 
 high spirits for the enterprise. 
 
 enter Howard and Veritas, arm in arm, drunk. 
 
 How. Come along, pupil ; come along, ho- 
 nesty. Uncle-— how are you, uncle ? Give me 
 leave to introduce to you — a fair penitent ! 
 
 Sir Sol. Why, how did you get into the castle ? 
 Who invited you ? 
 
 How. My pupil here. Speak, suffering saint. 
 
 Sir Sol. Out of the way, sir. I'll hold no 
 conversation with drunkards and buffoons — I'll 
 talk to men of sense and gravity. Veritas, give 
 me your hand. 
 
 Ver. Granted. 
 
 Sir Sol. And now let me give it to Albina. 
 Puppy, will you be eye-witness to the marriage ? 
 Will you behold this worthy man take possession 
 of your idol and ten thousand a year ? 
 
 Ver. Look'ye, king Solomon — 
 
 How. Ay, mind, king Solomon. 
 
 Ver. If I thought Albina loved me, I'm so 
 brimful of benevolence, that I'd take her with- 
 out a guinea ; but to marry her against her in- 
 clinations ! to use force, to — I tell you it's a 
 damned rascally transaction. And if you and 
 the governess would get as drunk as I am, 
 you'd be as much ashamed of it as I am. So 
 drink, drink, and reform. 
 
 Sir Sol. I drink ! 
 
 How. Why not, uncle ? there's as much vir- 
 tue in wine as in women ! (Sir Solomon holds 
 up, his cane to strike him, Veritas interposes) What, 
 have not you had enough of that cane ? that 
 pinner-up of old curtains. Pooh, I don't value 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 47 
 
 it a straw, not a straw. So come, pupil ; you've 
 made your speech. And now let's adjourn to 
 the inn, and drink more draughts of morality. 
 
 enter Mrs. rigid. 
 
 Mrs R. All's ready, all's prepared, Sir Solo- 
 mon. Howard here ! Why, cousin, (going u/i 
 to Veritas) 
 
 How. (stofifiing her) Softly, doctor Busby, 
 you won't let me speak to your pupil, therefore 
 you must not talk to mine. He's a good boy, 
 and you may corrupt him. Keep off. 
 
 Mrs. R. They're both intoxicated : Heaven 
 defend me. Why, Veritas, are not you ashamed ? 
 
 Ver. Not a bit. There's some apology for 
 drunken honesty, but none for sober villany. So 
 drink, drink, and reform. 
 
 How. Stick to your bottle, Doctor. l In vino 
 Veritas !' (sings) 
 
 Ver. Come, George. 
 
 Mrs. R. Come ! Why, would you leave me 
 at this moment ? now, when Albina is locked 
 up, when the lawyer and the clergyman are wait- 
 ing ? What shall I do ? 
 
 How. Do ? Tell the two black gentlemen to 
 strike out the name of Veritas in their papers, 
 substitute mine in its place, and I'll return and 
 marry Albina in half an hour. No, I won't mar- 
 ry her. Till she's a good daughter, shesha'n't 
 have a good husband. So come, my boy, now 
 for the inn. I say though, isn't it a long way ? 
 
 Ver. Long ! No ; when a man's drunk, it 
 isn't the length. 
 
 How. True ; it's the width. Farewell, most 
 amiable, most Platonic pair. " To wine I flew 
 to ease the pain !" (both sing) 
 
48 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Ver. Farewell, king Solomon ! 
 
 How. Good b'ye, Doctor Busby. " To wine I 
 flew," &c. [exit with Veritas 
 
 Mrs. R. Amazing ! what does it mean, Sir 
 Solomon ? has Howard corrupted him ? 
 
 Sir SoJ. He has ; and now I'm decided : they 
 shall neither of them enter my doors again ; and 
 as for Mandeville, I'll make an example of him 
 directly. I have traced him from the cottage to 
 the back part of the castle : he is now concealed 
 amongst the ruins ; and I'll go order Realize to 
 lay hold of him this very moment. In the inte- 
 rim, do you take care of Albina. 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh, she's very safe. I have placed 
 Deborah, a steady old servant, as a guard over 
 her ; and the haunted chamber shall be her 
 abode till we find a new husband for her. Good 
 night, Sir Solomon. I couldn't have thought 
 that Mr. Veritas would have turned out such 
 a — But it's a strange world ; and we have lived 
 so long in it, that nothing ought now to perplex 
 or surprise us. 
 
 Sir Sol. Nothing ever surprises me ; and such 
 are the changes of this whirl-about life, that 
 though your system is Platonic love, and mine 
 no love at all, yet I shouldn't be astonished if 
 we were to become man and wife, and be as 
 happy a couple, Mrs. Rigid, as — No, hang it, 
 that would surprise me indeed ! 
 
 [exeunt severally- 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 49 
 
 scene II-— an old gothic chamber, with doors at 
 each wing ; in the fiat another door ; over it is 
 the portrait of a man in armour ; a state bed. 
 
 ALBINAj still in the lieutenant's uniform, disco- 
 vered writing, deborah, waiting. 
 
 Alb. Deborah, do take your hand from the ta- 
 ble, Deborah : you shake it so, I can't go on 
 with my letter. " Dear Mr. Howard," (writing) 
 
 Deb. Lord, miss, isn't it midnight ? and aren't 
 we alone in a haunted chamber ? 
 
 Alb. Haunted ! foolish nonsense. I suppose 
 you've been prying into those new romances 
 the governess bought for me, all about abbeys, 
 skeletons, rusty daggers, fat monks, and fainting 
 nuns. Pooh, it's all very well to frighten chil- 
 dren ; but for such grown-up misses as you and 
 I, Deborah — Oh, we're not afraid of the dead, 
 nothing but the living frightens us. So sit fast 
 in your chair. And now for the letter, " JDea£ 
 Mr. Howard^ theyVe locked me up in an unin- 
 habited part of the castle, and placecf an olcJL 
 mastliFover jn^pXthe castle cTdc'frsTfik'es one) 
 —ffelK There, he's coming. 
 
 Alb. Who's coming ? 
 
 Deb. The baron, the baron ! 
 
 Alb. What baron ? 
 
 Deb. Why, in days of yore, an old Norman 
 baron was murdered in that bed ; and ever since, 
 when the castle clock strikes one, that door is 
 sure to open, (pointing to it) and in he stalks in 
 black armour. 
 
 Alb. Does he indeed ? Well, I shall be very 
 glad to see him ; and that we may have a full 
 view of him, do snuff the candles. 
 
 E 
 
50 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 -*Deb. Snuff the candles, miss ? 
 
 Alb. Ay, let's see what he's made of, Deborah. 
 ~~Deb. (in her fright snuffs out one of the candles) 
 I saw the picture shake ; and that's a sure sign 
 the baron is approaching. 
 
 Alb. So it is. I'll frighten her away if I can. 
 {aside) Hark, don't you hear the rattling of ar- 
 mour ? 
 .-neb. I do. 
 
 Alb. And the clanking of chains ; and the 
 screech-owl, and the ravens, and the cats, and 
 the mice ? and — don't you hear me, Deborah ? 
 — Deb. I do. Oh, lord ! the governess may come 
 and watch you herself. I won't stay to be 
 hacked to pieces. 
 
 Alb. Hush, the door opens ; and there he is 
 as black as Beelzebub. O, dear, my courage 
 fails me. Go to him, Deborah, and while he 
 makes mince-meat of you, I shall have time to 
 run away. Pray do, Deborah. 
 -rDeb. Not I : Heaven protect you ! 
 
 [ex it, frightened 
 
 Alb. Ha, ha, ha ! what an old coward it is. 
 Now nothing ever makes me tremble, nothing. 
 O yes, the very thought of Howard makes me 
 so nervous— heigho ! I'll proceed with the let- 
 ter : (sits and writes) " and placed an old mas- 
 tiff over me," — a pretty mastiff indeed !— " be- 
 cause I won't marry the tutor. But I am a girl 
 of such pride, such spirit, such fortitude, Mr. 
 Howard,"^C(^e report of a pistol is heard) 
 What's that ? a pistol at this time of night, and 
 so near me ! Lord ! it's very alarming. Who 
 can it be ? Oh, it's the poachers firing at the 
 game. Psha, what a fool I was. Hem, (sits and 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 51 
 
 writes) " I am a girl of such pride, such spirit, 
 such forti— "%noise of forcing open a door) Well, 
 (noise again') somebody's forcing the door ! he's 
 coming ! the baron's coming. \t noise again) Oh, 
 dear, I'll run away, (tries to o/ien the door De- 
 borah went out at, but finds it fastened) Oh, she 
 has locked me in : Deborah, Deborah ! (runs 
 and hides herself behind the bed) 
 
 (the door is burst open, and mandeville enters 
 with a pistol in his hand) 
 
 Mand. Life isn't worth the struggle. How- 
 ard hadn't left me an hour amongst the ruins of 
 the castle, when Realize and his followers came 
 up with me. I remonstrated in vain. They 
 seized me ; and seeing no other mode of extri- 
 cating myself, I fired my pistol in the air, and 
 the cowards vanished. Here perhaps I may 
 rest in safety, (sits down and puts the pistol on 
 the table) How, a light ! I thought this part of 
 the castle had been uninhabited. Sure nobody 
 observes me. Ha, the curtain moves. One of 
 the villains has pursued me. Is there to be no 
 period to their persecution, (pulls forth Albino) 
 Mark me, sir, return to the agent who employed 
 you. Begone, directly, or this pistol — 
 
 Alb. Oh, lord! Deborah, Deborah !— 
 
 Mand. No noise : begone this instant. (Albi- 
 na retires up) Stop. Come back. You may 
 betray me to your curst associates : therefore re- 
 main. Sit down, (forces her into a chair) Stir 
 not, look not, breathe not. 
 
 Alb. I won't. Deborah, Debo — 
 
 Mand. Hush, or by heaven — Stay, sure I 
 should know that face. Speak, do you not re- 
 collect me ? 
 
52 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Alb. No ; but I shall never forget you. 
 
 Mand. 'Tis the youth who came to the cot- 
 tage. 'Tis Herbert ; and no doubt is on a visit 
 to his cousin. Curst infatuation ! I'm doomed 
 to be a torment. Sir, I've been mistaken ; and 
 know too well the pangs of apprehension to 
 wish to inflict it on others. Pray, pray, pardoir 
 me. {taking her hand) 
 
 Alb. True flesh and blood, I declare. I'm 
 better now. I may breathe again, I suppose. 
 Ooh, ooh ! {breathing violently) So you're not 
 an apparition then, you're only a robber ? 
 
 Mand. Robber ! Sir, I have been — Well, well, 
 it concerns not you ; else I could tell you that 
 the steward of this mansion, this reptile Realize, 
 who was about to make a prisoner of me, and to 
 whose persecution you owe my present intru- 
 sion — oh, in the lifetime of his master, the late 
 too unsuspicious Mr. Mandeville, he would not, 
 no, he dared not e'en have frowned upon me. 
 But I have done, I've already been the cause of 
 much uneasiness to you ; therefore, good night. 
 
 Alb. Stay, I must hear more. Did you know 
 Mr. Mandeville, sir ? 
 
 Mand. Know him ! 
 
 Alb. Why are you so agitated,* sir? If you 
 knew him, perhaps you also know his unhappy 
 son. 
 
 Mand. I do indeed. And if I dare reveal to 
 you — but I must not trust you, you are a friend 
 of the governess. 
 
 Alb. I am : but I am also a friend to the un- 
 fortunate. Come, you had better trust me, I 
 have great influence over Albina ; and since you 
 are the friend of Mr. Mandeville, I'll persuade 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 53 
 
 her to satisfy this steward — {Mandeville shakes 
 his head) Nay, if you think she has not a com- 
 passionate heart, you don't know her, indeed 
 you do not. 
 
 Mand. She ought to be compassionate. Her 
 mother had a heart o'erflowing with benevolence, 
 and her father— but he — he is forgotten, de- 
 serted. 
 
 Alb. Poor man : I often think of him, often 
 shed tears over his misfortunes. Where is he ? 
 Might I behold him ? {Mandeville weeps) Nay, 
 if you knew all, perhaps I have more cause to 
 weep than you have. 
 
 Mand. You cut me to the soul. I can't sup- 
 port it. Let me begone. 
 
 Realize, (without) This way, the rascal's this 
 way. 
 
 Mand. My persecutor again : what's to be 
 done ? 
 
 Alb. Stay where you are ; it's his turn now. 
 
 enter realize and two servants. 
 
 Real. There he is ; seize him, secure him, 
 while I go for officers of justice. You'll pop at 
 us like so many partridges, will you ? {servants 
 hold Mandeville) Keep him tight ; and now I 
 may safely say my troubles are at an end. 
 
 Alb. {meeting him) Rather say, your troubles 
 are going to begin. Unhand that gentleman. 
 Let him go, I insist, (servants leave Mandeville) 
 And now, Mr. steward, a word in private, if you 
 please. (Mandeville retires up) You recollect 
 me ? 
 
 Real. To be sure I do. 
 
 Alb. Then hear me, sir, I'll pay what he owes. 
 
 E 2 
 
54 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Real. You pay ! 
 
 Alb. Yes, I'll pay. Can't you understand me ? 
 Go, sir ; and for the future don't disgrace your 
 employers by acts of cruelty and oppression. 
 Why ar'n't you gone ? 
 
 Real. Urn ! before I obey the young lady, I 
 must have orders from the old one. You'll ex- 
 cuse me ; but you're not your own mistress, you 
 know, my dear. 
 
 Alb. No. But I'm yours, you know, my dear. 
 
 Real. You're not. The governess is my mis- 
 tress. Pooh, you've no will of your own. 
 
 Alb. No, but I've a will of my grandfather's ; 
 and if you don't instantly release this gentleman, 
 I'll discharge you from being my steward, my 
 steward, do you hear that, sir ? What does he 
 owe ? 
 
 Real. Why, he owes me and Sir Solomon 
 above fourteen hundred pounds ; and do you 
 think either of us will be content with the se- 
 curity of a minor ? No, no, we'll have the mo- 
 ney down. 
 
 Alb. So you shall. Take it. 
 
 Real. Take it ! Where ? 
 
 Alb. Out of my grandfather's money. 
 
 Real. Pshaw, he didn't leave so much cash 
 behind him. 
 
 Alb. Didn't he ? then he left houses, lands, 
 and woods. So go, sir, go cut down a wood di- 
 rectly. 
 
 Real. Cut down a wood ! 
 
 Alb. Ay, sir, and if that won't raise the sum, 
 cut down another, and another. It will improve 
 the prospect, and gratify Albina with the finest 
 view in the world, that of seeing an unfortu- 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 53 
 
 nate man made happy, (turning to Mandeville 
 and taking his hand) 
 
 Real. Here's a promising young heiress. 
 Without the aid of a fashionable husband, she'll 
 lay waste more wood in an hour than her grand- 
 father planted in his life-time. 
 
 Alb. What, not gone yet ? I'm out of all pa- 
 tience, (takes up the pistol) Go, sir. Begin 
 lopping and chopping with your own hands, 
 or this pistol — 
 
 Real. What a devil it is ! Come, William, 
 come, Gregory, we'll go and send the governess. 
 
 Alb. What's that you say, sir ? Mind me, if 
 you repeat one syllable of what has passed, this 
 pistol shall prove more fatal to you than the 
 Pontine marshes. It shall make as large a hole 
 in your lungs as the Bristol waters have in 
 your pocket. Go, dotard, quick, quick, (fol- 
 lows Realize and servants to the door with the 
 pistol, and forces them out) So, between swords 
 and pistols I've had a pretty hot day of it. 
 
 Aland. How am I to thank you, sir ? Till now 
 I had but one friend, one only friend ; and he in 
 poverty has proved so generous. Oh, if you 
 knew — 
 
 Alb. I wish I did know him, sir. Whoever 
 he is, if he has been kind to you, I'm sure I shall 
 esteem him. Come, though you won't mention 
 your own name, you may trust me with his. 
 Who is your friend ? 
 „ Mand. Howard. 
 
 Alb. Howard! has he, has Mr. Howard been 
 kind to you ? 
 
 Mand. He has been my companion, my bene- 
 factor. He has displeased his family to assist 
 «e ; and, what afflicts me more than all, on my 
 
56 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 account, I fear, he has offended the lady he most 
 loves. 
 
 Alb. Indeed ! And pray, who- — not that it's 
 any affair of mine, but pray, who is the lady he 
 most loves ? 
 
 Mand. Who should it be but Albina ? His 
 hand, his heart, his life is at her disposal. 
 
 Alb. His life ! she mustn't let him die then. 
 
 Tell him so, Mr. Dear ! I wish I knew your 
 
 name. You say you are the friend of Mr. Man- 
 deville, the friend of Mr. Howard; can't you con- 
 fide in me "Ijtnoise of unlocking the door) Some- 
 body's coming. The steward has betrayed us. 
 What shall we do ? I'll stand before and hide 
 you. (places herself before Mandeville) 
 
 enter deborah. 
 
 Well, Deborah, what do you want ? 
 ""Deb. The steward has been with Mrs. Rigid. 
 She is suddenly taken ill; and desires I'll bring 
 you to her own room directly. Why, what's 
 that ? somebody is behind you. 
 
 Alb. Hush, it's the baron. 
 ""Deb. The baron ! 
 
 Alb. Don't be frightened. He speaks highly 
 of you ; and though I told him it was impossible,, 
 he swears he'll make an angel of you. 
 
 Deb. Don't, pray don't let him. 
 
 Alb. Well, he sha'n't, he sha'n'tmake an an- 
 gel of you. Turn your back, and I'll lay him. 
 (Deborah turns round) You see I must leave 
 you at present, (to Mandeville) But as I cannot 
 rest till I know more of your story, don't leave 
 the castle, I entreat you. Go into that room ; 
 and, that nobody may molest you, allow me to 
 
Act IV] THE WILL. 5/ 
 
 lock you in: and, when I return — will you trust 
 me when I return ? 
 
 Maud. Most readily. 
 
 Alb. Good night. Nay, what have you to 
 thank me for ? Realize meant to make you his 
 prisoner ; and now I've made you mine, that's- 
 all the difference. Adieu. (Mandeville shakes 
 hands with her, and exit at the door ; Albina locks 
 the door and /tuts the key in her fiocket) Deborah, 
 he's gone, Deborah ! (hitting Deborah on the 
 back ; who trembles violently) 
 —Deb. Is he ! Which way did he go ? 
 
 Alb. Through the key-hole; and now we'll 
 go too. Poor gentleman ! I'll return to him as- 
 soon as I can ; for I feel interested for him be- 
 yond description. Lead on, I'll follow thee ! 
 And oh, Mr. Howard, my dear Mr. Howard, 
 your friendship for him, and love for me, prove 
 you to be a man of such taste and discrimination, 
 that, if you don't forgive me, and make me your 
 wife, why I'll live and die— a bachelor, [exeunt 
 
 ACT V. 
 
 scene i — a garden, 
 enter albina in her own dress. 
 
 Alb. I can neither sit, stand, nor walk. I can only 
 bite my fingers, beat the devil's tattoo, and sing 
 broken stanzas of despairing songs. " Ah, well- 
 a-day, Ah, lack-a-day !" Dear, now I only ask if 
 my governess oughtn't to be ashamed of herself ? 
 Without giving any reason, she has ordered me 
 
58 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 to pack up, to set out for Dover, and leave the 
 castle and Mr. Howard for ever. I begin to hate 
 her, that's what I do. Sir Solomon too, I hate 
 him : I hate all old people. I wish they'd go to 
 heaven, and leave us young ones to manage the 
 world by ourselves. 
 
 enter deborah. 
 
 <**Deb. Miss, miss, the carriage is at the door, 
 the postillions are mounting, the horses are pran- 
 cing, and Mrs. Rigid is out of all patience. 
 
 Alb. Well, I'm coming. Deborah, what is the 
 reason — nay, don't turn your back upon me, 
 don't take me for the baron, Deborah. Why 
 are we to leave the castle so unexpectedly ? 
 
 ~~Deb. I don't know : but I believe it's all owing 
 to what the steward told her. Come, be quick. 
 See now, here's Sir Solomon come to fetch you. 
 
 enter sir solomon, a letter in his hand. 
 
 Alb. Sir Solomon, I know what you're come 
 for. You mean to force me away from the castle. 
 
 Sir. Sol. I force you ! 
 
 Alb. I never disobeyed my governess in all my 
 life, but now— 
 
 Sir Sol. 'Tis high time to begin, I think. Go, 
 madam, (to Deb.) tell Mrs. Rigid, Albina sha'n't 
 go to Dover. 
 
 Alb. Not go to Dover? 
 
 Sir Sol. No. You sha'n't stir from your own 
 house ; or, if you do, it shall only be to mine. 
 
 Alb. What, will you stand up lor me, Sir So- 
 lomon ? 
 
 Sir Sol. To be sure I will. This letter has 
 opened my eyes, it proves the governess to be 
 
Act V] THE WILL. 90 
 
 the worst of hypocrites ; and therefore from this 
 hour you shall be your own mistress. 
 
 Alb. School's up ! school's up ! 
 
 Sir Sol. Why arn't you gone, Madam? Do 
 you think I'm not fit to be her champion ? Ods- 
 heart! though I'm not able to manage young 
 women, I'll show you and your mistress I can 
 be a match for old ones. 
 
 Alb. I'm my own governess now ! — go, get 
 along, Deborah ! — \jiushcs her out~\ — oh, Sir So- 
 lomon ! if you were my grandfather, I could not 
 be more grateful. 
 
 Sir Sol. Read, read that letter I—I'm sorry 
 to damp your joy, Albina. 
 
 Alb. What, does it bring bad news ? 
 
 Sir Sol. The worst in the world. — read, read I 
 'tis written by Veritas. 
 
 Alb. (reads) " Sir, I am so thorough a peni- 
 tent, that I cannot be happy till I have made a 
 full confession of my bad intentions towards Miss 
 Albina Mandeville. The truth is, I bound my- 
 self in an agreement with the governess to give 
 her half the Mandeville estate on the day of my 
 marriage. And here, sir, here was the cause of 
 the much-wronged Mr. Mandeville's ruin. To 
 obtain this property, Mrs. Rigid gave out that 
 he remitted no money for the support of his 
 child, though to my knowledge she received a 
 
 hundred and fifty pounds half-yearly." Sir 
 
 Solofiqon ! 
 
 Sir Sol. Go on. 
 
 Alb. ("reads J "This story so convinced the 
 late Mr. Mandeville of his son's inhumanity, 
 that he died disinheriting him, and Albina lives 
 to neglect the best of parents." (drofis the letter) 
 I can't read any more ; oh, my poor father ! 
 
60 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Sir Sol. You have for your excuse youth and 
 inexperience, but I to be such a dupe. 
 
 Alb. Where is he? where is my father? 
 
 Sir Sol. There again, there's another bad bu- 
 siness: he's nowhere to be found. Even How- 
 ard knows nothing of him ; for I met him just 
 now half distracted, saying Mandeville had gone 
 from the place where he left him, and, pursued 
 by his enemies, had fled either to London or the 
 continent. He called me a savage, you another. 
 
 Alb. And well he might. Let's go after him^ 
 we'll search the world over but we'll find him ; 
 come, we'll hire all the horses, servants, and 
 carriages in the county : we'll fly, we'll— -aw, 
 aw ! here's the governess : do you speak to her, 
 for I can't. 
 
 enter Mrs. rigid. 
 
 Mrs. R. Sir Solomon, how dare you counte- 
 nance my pupil in disobeying my orders ? come 
 along, Albina; be a good child, and go with 
 your best friend. Why, what's the matter with 
 you ? what does the girl make faces at ? speak, 
 are you ill. 
 
 Alb. No. (very loudly ) 
 
 Mrs R. Heyday, do you know whom you're 
 talking to ? 
 
 Alb. Yes. (loudly) 
 
 Mrs. R. Fie, fie, sir ! teach a girl to insult 
 her mother, (to Sir Solo?no?i) 
 
 Alb. Fie, fie, madam ! teach a girl to desert 
 her father. 
 
 Mrs. R. What ? 
 
 Sir Sol. (turning- her towards him) Where 
 are the letters Mandeville wrote from India? 
 
 Alb. (turning her towards her) Where is 
 the money he sent for my support ? 
 
ActV] THE WILL. 61 
 
 Mrs. R. Peace, you little insolent ! 
 
 Sir Sol. (turning her J Where is the agree- 
 ment between you and the tutor ? 
 
 Alb. (turning her) Where are a parent's af- 
 fections, a lover's heart ? 
 
 Mrs. R. Silence, or I'll so chastise you — 
 
 Alb. You chastise me ! the threats of my fa- 
 ther or Mr. Howard would frighten me, because 
 they're good people, and injured people ; and if 
 you had behaved well, I had been still afraid of 
 you. But now — oh, I wish I had a rod, I'd pay 
 you off old scores, that's what I would : come, 
 Sir Solomon, let's leave her. 
 
 Sir Sol. Ay, let us seek out the wronged, the 
 honest Mr Mandeville. 
 
 enter realize. 
 
 Real. He's not to be found ; Mandeville's not 
 to be found ; and I shall not only lose my two 
 hundred pounds, but shall also be tricked out of 
 my annuity; for yonder's Mr. Howard running 
 about like a madman ; and he swears, if he don't 
 find him, he'll put an end to his existence, (seep 
 Albino) Oh, ho ! now we shall get information 
 '—your servant, Miss, or rather Master, Albina. 
 
 Alb. Sir! 
 
 Real. Who's governess now ? Didn't I tell 
 you last night this lady was my mistress ? {Jioin- 
 ting to Mrs. Rigid) 
 
 Alb. You did. 
 
 Real. And isn't she— isn't she my mistress? 
 
 Alb. If you like it. If you prefer serving her 
 to me, I'm sure I've no objection. So I give 
 you warning, and appoint the game-keeper your 
 successor. Copsley shall be steward to the 
 young ladv* Mr. Realize to the old one. 
 
 F 
 
62 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Real. Copsley become steward ! why gover- 
 ness — mistress ! 
 
 Alb. Have you cut down that wood, sir ? — oh, 
 dear ! that puts me in mind — I declare, Sir Sol- 
 omon, I had quite forgot — there is a stranger 
 now at the castle, who can very likely give us 
 intelligence about my father. He told me he 
 was his friend ; and he is such a kind, tender- 
 hearted creature ; we'll go there first — come. 
 
 Mrs. R. Albina ! 
 
 Real. Miss Mandeville ! 
 
 Sir Sol. There, madam, read that letter; and 
 if you wish to avoid the most exemplary punish- 
 ment, lookout all Mandeville's letters, and bring 
 them to my house directly. You, also, sir, bring 
 your keys and papers at the same time. Go this 
 moment ; and while Albina's at the castle, I'll 
 wait your coming. 
 
 Real. Sir Solomon ! 
 
 Sir Sol. No reply, sir. 
 
 Real. If I'm to lose my place, I hope I'm not 
 to lose my money. There's Mr. Mandeville's 
 debt, two year's salary, and a trifle due from 
 Mr. Howard for the Bristol waters : he coughed 
 me out of a dose of physic worth thirty pounds, 
 sir. 
 
 Sir Sol. No trifling; begone, sir! Mrs. Rigid, 
 you know my determination. 
 
 Alb. Stay, this is the last time I shall ever 
 see her ; and I can't bear to leave her so unhappy. 
 Governess, though I am a much greater object 
 of pity than you are, yet if my father will for- 
 give you, I'm sure I will. At all events, while 
 I have money, you shan't want ; adieu. 
 
 Mrs. R. (zvecfiing J Farewell ! 
 
Act V] THE WILL. 63 
 
 Real. Psha ! what signifies crying ? you see 
 I'm not affected : nothing- ever excites my sen- 
 sibility but the touch of a guinea; and, thanks 
 to my stewardship and the annuity trade, I've 
 saved enough to retire and live as a gentleman 
 ought to do. And so, with many thanks for 
 favours past, your servant, young lady and old 
 gentleman. Come along, governess ; I shall 
 want a house-keeper, and since you can't be my 
 mistress, I'll be your master, [exit with Mrs. R. 
 
 Sir Sol. Ah, you two hypocrites ; begone 1 
 oh, Solomon, Solomon ! you ought to have known 
 that a woman was at the bottom of all this mis- 
 chief. Come, I'll see you to the castle, and 
 then — 
 
 Alb. I say, Sir Solomon, if we meet Mr. How- 
 ard by the way, I hope you won't let him kill 
 me! 
 
 Sir Sol. Kill you ! why ? 
 
 Alb. I know he'll be monstrous desperate. In 
 a* good cause I've a good heart; but in a bad 
 one, oh, lord ! Deborah is a lion to me. 
 
 Sir Sol. Never fear ; I'll stand by you : and to 
 prove I can be a protector, without being a poa- 
 cher, I'll not ask even a kiss, till I have delivered 
 you safe into your father's hands; no, and then 
 I won't trouble you unless you particularly de- 
 sire it. Come, I have given all that up for life ; 
 and I shall die, as I have lived, a bachelor. 
 
 Alb. Don't, I hate bachelors; I wish there 
 was a tax upon them. 
 
 Sir Sol. There ought ; for 'tis a luxury, I pro- 
 mise you. \exnni( 
 
64 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 scene iv—the Baron's chamber. Table remain* 
 ing, with pistol^ &c. 
 
 enter Howard 
 
 How. Not here, either ! iiowhere to be found! 
 what can have become of him ? Veritas detain- 
 ed me longer than I intended ; and when I re- 
 turned to the ruins, Mandeville was gone ; think- 
 ing, no doubt, that, like the rest of his unfeeling 
 friends, I had forgotten and deserted him. I am 
 the most unhappy fellow living ! (sits^ his hand 
 accidentally falls on the pistol ) What's here ? a 
 pistol ! oh, heaven ! he couldn't be so despe- 
 rate. How ! the initials of his name upon the bar- 
 rel ; it is too evident ; he has destroyed himself, 
 and died, suspecting Howard of ingratitude. I 
 shall not long survive him ; oh, Mandeville, Man- 
 deville ! 
 
 Mand. (within) Howard, Howard ! 
 
 How. What voice is that ? speak ! 
 
 Mand. 'Tis I ; 'tis your friend ! 
 
 How. He is living! (tries the door) Nay, if 
 'twere adamant, I'd split it into atoms ! (forces 
 it open) 
 
 enter mandeville. 
 
 How. (embracing him) My dear fellow ! the 
 next time you kill yourself, don't leave your 
 instrument of death behind you. The initials 
 on this barrel make the worst memento mori I 
 ever read. 
 
 Mand. Kill myself! how you misconceive, my 
 friend ; I took refuge here to avoid Realize ; and 
 meeting young Herbert, he protected me, and 
 locked me in that apartment. 
 
Act V] THE WILL. 63 
 
 How. Did he ? did Bobadil protect you ? 
 
 Mand. He was most kind to me ; and pro- 
 mised to make Albina kind to me. I wonder 
 he's not returned : 'tis a long time since he left 
 me. 
 
 How. Oh, he has a very slippery memory; 
 the young coxcomb promised to make Albina 
 kind to me ; and I've never seen nor heard of 
 him since. However, to show you how very 
 likely he is to keep his word with either of us, 
 Albina by this time has left the castle, and gone 
 to Dover. 
 
 Mand. Gone to Dover ! 
 
 How. I saw the carriage at the door an hour 
 ago. 'Sdeath ! it's only lost time to think of her 
 or Herbert ! so, let us go to London— let us es- 
 cape while we can. 
 
 Mand. Well, be it so. 'Tis plain I am for- 
 gotten ; and therefore I, like Albina, will bid 
 adieu to the castle for ever. And while she hur- 
 ries to scenes of gaiety and happiness, her father 
 shall—no, while I have yourfriendship, Howard, 
 I ought, and will defy misfortune, (noise of door 
 ojiening) We are interrupted : let us return to 
 the chamber, (exeunt at the door Mandeville 
 came from) 
 
 enter albina. 
 
 Alb. Oh, dear, I'm such a coward ! coming 
 up stairs, I thought I heard Mr. Howard's voice 
 in this room ; and I dread his reproaches, and 
 his triumph, and his anger so much, that I'd 
 rather see the old baron himself: oh, it's all 
 fancy ! he's not here, so I may open the door, 
 and venture to talk to my prisoner. Heigh ho ! 
 
 f 2 
 
66 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 the sight of people one has injured is so dread- 
 ful, that I do believe, if Mr. Howard — ( she ofie?is 
 the door) 
 
 enter ho ward. 
 
 Oh ! h I h ! (screams, and falls in his arms) 
 
 How. Holloa I what's the matter ? 
 
 Alb. (recovering) Nothing ; I'm better now ; 
 I thought — 
 
 How. Well, what did you think? 
 
 Alb. 1 thought you had been the old baron ; 
 but I see — I see — (stealing away from him by 
 degrees) good bye, Mr. Howard. 
 
 How. Your servant. 
 
 Alb. There ! I said so : I knew he'd be des- 
 perate. Good bye, sir ; I'm going; don't you 
 see I'm going ? 
 
 How. Going ! why ar'n't you gone ? 
 
 Alb. So I am; I am gone. Nay, you needn't 
 be quite in such a hurry, sir. 
 
 How. I am in a hurry ! I can't waste my time 
 on dolls and kickshaws, (turns his back to her) 
 
 Alb. Oh, I was sure this would be the case! 
 what shall I do ? I've a great mind to take cou- 
 rage — to summon up all my resolution, and go 
 boldly within ten yards of him. (she advances. 
 Howard turns andfrowns at her ; she is frightened, 
 and stops. He turns his back again, and she goes 
 nearer to him) Lord 1 he takes it very quietly : 
 I'll go closer. So ; I dare say if I were to touch 
 him he wouldn't bite my head off. Mr. Howard ; 
 how d'ye do, Mr. Howard ? (jiulls him round 
 gently) 
 
 How. Keep off ! or — 
 
 Alb. Indeed I'm very sorry— -I know I've be- 
 haved very ill ; but it was the governess's fault. 
 
Act V] THE WILL. 67 
 
 and not mine. Pray now, forgive me : look, on 
 my knees I entreat you ; forgive me this once, and 
 I'll be such a good, dear, darling girl ! I'll be 
 your slave — your doll— your kick — (Howard 
 smiles, arid Album jumps up) Oh, he smiles ! 
 you're a good-natured creature, Howard ! ha, 
 ha ! (smiles, and looks in his face) 
 
 How. I don't smile. 
 
 Alb. You do ! you do ! 
 
 How. I say I don't ! and hark'ye, if I were 
 weak enough to forgive you on my own account, 
 how, how would you apologize for your unnatu- 
 ral conduct to your father ? 
 
 Alb. I'll show you ; look ! (takes a paper out 
 of her pocket) 
 
 How. What's that paper ? 
 
 Alb. My grandfather's will ; look ! (smiling) 
 
 How. What ! do you make a display-— do you 
 boast of your ill-gotten wealth ? hear me ; (lays 
 hold of her hand with great emotion) The tutor 
 has confessed — 
 
 Alb. I know it. 
 
 How. That Mr. Mandeville— that my friend 
 remitted money from India— 
 
 Alb. I know it. 
 
 How. That the governess — that your friend 
 concealed his letters — 
 
 Alb. I know it. 
 
 How. Then how dare you insult me with this 
 ill-timed triumph ? one word more and we part 
 for ever : no chuckling ! listen ! (taking her hand 
 with great violence) if your grandfather had 
 known these facts, would he have disinherited 
 an affectionate son, only to adopt an unfeeling 
 daughter ? would he not have destroyed that 
 testament ? 
 
68 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Alb. To be sure he would ; and as he can't do 
 it himself, won't I do it for him? there, and 
 there, and there ; (tearing the will) I'm my own 
 mistress now ; and I think I can't do greater 
 honour to my grandfather's memory, than by de- 
 stroying an instrument that he would now blush 
 to sign, and I forever be ashamed to profit by. 
 
 How. Are you— how handsome she looks !— 
 are you convinced ? 
 
 Alb. I am: I hate my governess as much for 
 her unceasing enmity to my father, as I envy 
 you for your exalted friendship towards him : 
 oh, Mr. Howard ! do you think he'll ever for- 
 give me ? I'm going in search of him ; but, 
 if you should be so fortunate as to see him be- 
 fore me, pray tell him that things are now what 
 they ought always to have been ; he is the pos- 
 sessor of the Mandeville estate, and I have no- 
 thing but what results from his bounty. Fare- 
 well ! 
 
 How. Stay, 'tis my turn to kneel now ; {kneels) 
 oh, you angel ! (rises) Mandeville ! come forth, 
 Mandeville ! there is no longer any cause for 
 concealing yourself. 
 
 enter mandeville. 
 
 Look at her; look at Albina, your much-abused 
 daughter ! she has parted from her governess ! 
 she has torn her grandfather's will ! she has — 
 damn it ! why don't you speak to her ? joy choaks 
 me ! I'm dumb. 
 
 Aland, (embracing her) My child, my child ! 
 
 Alb. My father! 
 
 Mand. Have I at length a recompense ? oh, 
 Howard ! did I not say the time would come — 
 
 How. Why will you speak to me, when you 
 know I can't answer vou ? 
 
Act V] THE WILL. & 
 
 Alb. Will you forgive me, sir? can you for- 
 get— 
 
 Mand. Forget ! I never blamed you. And 
 at this moment your mother's virtues shine out 
 so brightly in your conduct, that I could wish 
 that will were still in force. I want not now 
 my father's wealth to make me happy ; my child, 
 my long-lost daughter is restored to me, and I 
 am blest, and rich beyond my hopes. 
 
 enter sir solomon, copsley, and cicely. 
 
 Sir Sol. Come, Albina, 'tis time to proceed 
 on our journey. What, Mandeville ! Howard ! 
 all together ! all reconciled ! tol de rol lol ! 
 
 How. So you're come to play the governor. 
 
 Sir Sol. Not I. I've been as great a fool as 
 any of you. I thought Mrs. Rigid a divinity ; 
 but I've found out she's a woman : Veritas has 
 converted me. I'm a fair penitent now, Howard. 
 Mandeville, you have deserved better treatment ; 
 give me your hand ; George, give me yours : 
 and now, my little fellow-traveller, give me the 
 kiss we talked of; no, hang it, 'twill be only 
 distressing you. 
 
 How. Nay, Sir Solomo^ if it will give you 
 any pleasure, I'm sure it will give me no pain. 
 
 Sir Sol. Arch rogue ! now, I'll take it by 
 proxy, on purpose to be revenged. There, 
 George, try how you can bear it. (Howard kisses 
 Albina) So, does it give you much pain ? well, 
 what say you, Mr. Mandeville ? how shall we 
 punish these two culprits ? shall we inflict ma- 
 trimony, or separation ? 
 
 How. Oh, matrimony, by all means ! don't 
 you think so, sir ? {to Mandeville) 
 
 i :• I 
 
70 THE WILL. [Reynolds 
 
 Mand. I do indeed. The day that gives Al- 
 bina such a husband, and makes me father of 
 such a son as Howard, must be the proudest 
 and happiest of my life. 
 
 Sir Sol. Say you so ? then take her, George, 
 and if the marriage state can afford happiness 
 however, we won't talk of impossibilities. 
 
 How. Now, Albina, will you ever talk of Cice- 
 ly again? 
 
 Alb. Will you ever call me Becky again? 
 
 How. Becky 1 
 
 Alb. If you do, I'll make you a companion 
 to the wild goose in the cottage. " I hope your 
 lungs are better, sir ? *' (reminding him by her 
 •voice and attitude) 
 
 How. What ! were you Bobadil ? were you 
 the little smart, well-made lieutenant ? 
 
 Alb. I was young Herbert, sir ; and I bless 
 the disguise, not only for convincing me of the 
 sincerity of my lover, but also for introducing 
 me to my father. I hope you don't blame me, 
 sir ? (to Mandeville ) 
 
 Sir Sol. He blame you ! no : Howard has 
 most reason. What will your husband say to 
 your strutting about in boy's clothes ? 
 
 How. Say ! that I w/sh all women would wear 
 the breeches before Carriage, instead of after- 
 wards. / 
 
 Co/is. Oh, madatn, how shall I thank you ? 
 you have saved me and my family from ruin, 
 
 Cic. You havei madam ; and we are all grati- 
 tude. 
 
 Alb. This is your benefactor ; you are to thank 
 mgi/athe-r, not me. If you wish to do me a fa- 
 vour, why there is one — 
 T* Cic. Oh, name it, madam ; name it ! 
 
 & 
 
Act V] THE WILL. 7 1 
 
 Alb. Why, it rather concerns Sir Solomon 
 than myself. Pray be kind encmgh to have the 
 old curtain repaired, lest he should again wish 
 to take cover behind it. And likewise, do send 
 me some of the straw : 1 mean to be married in 
 a straw hat, and I'll have one manufactured out 
 of Sir Solomon's stubble. 
 
 How. One ! we'll have a dozen ; and our chil- 
 dren shall wear them, in honour of their great- 
 uncle's gallantry ! 
 
 Sir Sol. Gallantry ! psha ! I've something bet- 
 ter to think of than women. 
 
 How. Indeed you have not. Come, come, 
 uncle, rail at the sex as much as you like, you 
 must confess that life is a blank without them ; 
 and the gaming-table, the bottle, and the sports 
 of the field, are all so many substitutes— sha- 
 dows ; woman is the true substance, after all ; 
 and, compared to her, all other objects are as 
 the glow-worm to the sun : it may dazzle the 
 sight, but it can never warm the heart ! don't 
 you think so, Albina ? 
 
 Alb. I do indeed. Women are certainly most 
 superior creatures ; and, if by accident they have 
 any faults, men ought not to see them — at least, 
 I hope that will be my case to-night. I have 
 done and talked a great many foolish things : 
 but having their hands and full pardon, (stand- 
 ing between Mandeville and Howard) let me 
 have yours, and Albina will be the happiest of 
 wives, and the most grateful of daughters. 
 
 "END OF THE WIT/I.. 
 
9 
 
 ?■</> 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 014 527 166 6 
 
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