Price, 25 Cents A Class Day Play for Girls' Schools (Female Characters) Shakespeare Up-to-date By ETHELYN SEXTON (Albert Lea College) Copyright, 1916 By March Brothers MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 208, 210, 212 Wright Ave., Lebanon, O. SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE A Class Day Play for Girls' Schools (Female Characters) BY ETHELYN SEXTON (Albert Lea College) Price, 25 Cents Copyright, 1916 By March Brothers MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 208, 210, 212 Wright Ave., Lebanon, Ohio i. ^^ CHARACTERS Hamlet [who wants to buy an automobile.] jAQUitS [zvho likes to soliloquize]. PoKTiA [a college student^ daughter of Shylock]. Ophelia [a market girl in love zmth Hamlet]. Othello [Moor of Venice, engaged to Portia]. TiTANiA [a fairy, first aid to Cupid]. SCENE Driveway near Elsinore Castle. Shrubbery at rear; rustic seat at right. If given indoors, pla- cards reading "Driveway," "Shrubbery," etc., may be hung on improvised material, thus sug- gesting the Elizabethan stage. COSTUMES Costumes are of the plays from which the .characters are taken, with the exception of Por- 'tia, who may wear middie costume, or any con- ventional college dress. TMP96-006749 n-< T (yui.U 44889 SYNOPSIS Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, wishes to buy an automobile. Portia, whose father, Shylock, is agent ^^for the Ford, asks the "melancholy Jaques" to introduce her to the Prince, that she may interest him in her father's car. Portia is engaged to Othello, the Moor of Venice, who is in America selling gondolas ; but her ardor for furthering her father's business causes her to devote too much time to Hamlet, who falls violently in love with her. Ophelia, a pretty market girl, loves Hamlet, but her love is not returned. One day, as she is coming to market with her vegetables, Othello, who is talking with Jacques, hears of Portia's fickleness. In order to console him, Jaques sug- gests that Othello pretend an affection for Oph- elia; thus making Portia jealous. Othello acts upon this advice and carries on a most successful flirtation with the pretty market girl. But, meanwhile, Hamlet has made Portia forget her vows to Othello, and she promises to elope with him. The plan is overheard by Othello, who is at first shocked. He soon realizes, how- ever, that he has a deep affection for Ophelia, and does not regret the loss of Portia. At the place and time appointed for the elope- ment, Hamlet and Portia find Othello and Oph- elia. Explanations ensue and everything is satis- factorily arranged. Portia returns a ring and Othello slips it on Ophelia's finger. All turn in gratitude to Jacques, who has unwittingly brought about this condition of affairs. He, however, turns away in disgust, when Titania enters. She imparts a word of warning to the lovers, and then laughingly consoles Jaques. SEP 14 1916 Shakespeare Up-to-date A Nonsense Play for Female Characters. By Ethelyn Sexton. Particularly adapted to girls' schools [Hamlet is discovered pacing hack and forth. 1 Ham. To buy or not to buy — that is the ques- tion. Whether 'tis nobler to sit on one's own front veranda And watch your neighbors passing by in autos, Or take your money from the First National And buy a car; To ride, to speed, to speed — 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To ride, to speed, to speed? Perchance to be arrested — Aye, there's the rub ! For if perchance I should be pulled for speeding Who is there that would come and bail me out ? Yet if 'twere done when 'twere well done, 'Twere well 'twere done quickly. 6 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. And yet, concerning tires and spark plugs, chains and carburetors, I know, alas ! so little. Soft, who comes here? It is tlie melancholy Jaques. [Enter Jaques (R.).] Greetings, Monsieur Melancholy. [Jaques does not reply.] Greetings, sirrah ! [^side.] Methinks he has a lean and hungry look. [To Jaques.] I prithee tell me what is the cause of thy sad aspect? Jaq. [Reciting]. All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many partes, His acts being seven ages — Ham. Oh, cut it out, Jaques; go hire a hall. I learned all that when I took English in 's class. Listen. I would a tale unfold. Jaq. Get busy, then. Ham. [melodramatically]. Jaques, I long to whizz through space upon the wings of the wind. I long to break all rec- ords. [Dropping his tragic air.] I am thinking of buying an automobile. SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. 7 Jaq. What kind of a car? Ham. 'Tis that which worries me. Hast thou a word upon the subject? Jaq. Here's an advertisement of the that's just about your size. [Hands him a leaflet.] [Hamlet strolls left and peruses the leaflet.] [Enter Portia, studying. Looks up and sees Jaques.] PoR. Oh, Jaques, can you tell me the theme of "Adonais"? It was written by Kelly or Sheets. Last semester I did learn, but I remember not. [Sees Hamlet.] Who is that? Jaq. That's Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. He's got the auto bug. PoR. Auto, did you say? Oh, introduce me, Jaques. Shylock, my father, is agent for the Ford. Perhaps it will fall out that I shall make a sale. [Jaques and Portl\ cross to Hamlet. Jaques touches Hamlet on the arm and speaks to Hamlet.] Jaq. Lady to meet you. This, Hamlet, is Lady Portia, daughter of Shylock. She would have pleasant speech with thee. 8 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. PoR. The quality of a Ford car is not strained. It rambleth right along, whate'er betide. It is twice blest. It blesseth him that buys and him that sells. It becomes the chauffeur better than his goggles. It is enthroned in the heart of the poor man. Ham. Methinks there is much wisdom in her sayings. Jaq. I thought you were talking about buying a car. PoR. [To Jaoues.] Who's doing this? [To Hamlet.] Shylock, my father, has a car even now in his garage. Come, I will take you for a little spin around the castle grounds. [As they go out Jaoues speaks.] Jaq. Why not try the Castle Walk ? Now for a little peace. [He strikes an attitude.] All the world's a stage, And all the men and women — [Othello enters and slaps Jaques on the back.] Oth. Salutations, Sir Poet. I am Othello, the Moor of Venice, where formerly I sold gondolas, but since the war I am forced to come to America, SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. y where I am persuading people of re- fined tastes to purchase beautiful gondolas. What more pleasant on a moonlight night than to glide across the water which ripples and shines — Jaq. Gondolas! Who wants gondolas? [Scornfully.^ Oth. I have just sold a dozen to School The maidens will receive gymnasium credits for propelling the swan-like crafts upon the lake. Now, if you don't want to buy one yourself, perchance you can tell me of some one that does. Jaq. You might get Hamlet to buy one. He was raving around here about an automobile, when along came Portia and took him out in her little old Ford. Oth. [Greatly agitated]. Portia, did you say? Why,'that girl is engaged to me by a hundred and fifty dollar ring. Jaq. She's evidently engaged to sell Fords for her father. Oth. [Wildly]. And she did love me once, and not without cause. What causeth her to leave me in this manner ? Jaq. Othello, take my advice. Never trust a woman. 10 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. Oth. But she is fair and fairer than that word. She goeth to the college on the hill ^ And inside the classic walls of Hall She learneth wandrous things. Mistress hath taught her how to cook, to broil, to sew. She knoweth English, German, French. Jaq. Who taught her how to win the hearts of men? Oth. Miss or Miss , I know not which. Jaq. See here, Othello, let me give you a little advice. Would you like to know how to make Portia fairly dote on you? Oth. Speak, I am bound to hear. Jaq. Did you ever hear of Ophelia? Oth. Ophelia? In love with Hamlet, is she not? Jaq. You are right. But Hamlet is a flirta- tious fellow ; he doesn't care for Ophelia. Now see here. You carry on a little flirtation with Ophelia. Then Hamlet will be jealous and Portia will be jealous, and you'll all live happy ever after. Oth. Are you sure it will work? Jaq. Of course ; it always does. SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. 11 Oth. Bring forth the fair OpheHa ! Jaq. She'U be going by with vegetables to market pretty soon. Step to one side and Hsten when she comes. There she is. [Both step to rear (R.) as Ophelia enters. She carries a basket of vegetables on one arm. As she speaks, tears leaves from cabbages.] Oph. He loves me! He loves me not! Oh, Hamlet ! Hamlet ! Jaq. Isn't she good looking? Oth. In sooth she is passing fair. Oph. Here's radishes ; they are good with salt on ; spinach, nice with olive oil, and all from own garden. [Jaques and Othello step forth.] Good morning, sirs ; what would you buy today ? Jaq. Let me present you to the Moor of Venice. [Ophelia courtesys]. Oth. May I perchance go walk a way with you? Oph. Surely, sir, and you may carry my basket. Oth. I will on one condition. Oph. And what is that? 12 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. Oth. That you will give me a bouquet from out your basket. Oph. Gladly. [Pins onions on his coat.] Oth. All the perfumes of Arabia can not sweeten this little herb. [He takes her basket and they go out (L.)] Jaq. At last a little peace is mine. Let me see, where was I ? Oh, yes. They have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his time plays many parts — [Voices of Hamlet and Portia heard outside. They enter. \ PoR. Sir Hamlet, how likest thou the Ford? Ham. I like it well, fair damsel, and may I make bold to say I like the driver, too? [Jaques exits.] PoR. Let's talk business, Hamlet. What dost thou think of the engine? Ham. [Perplexed]. I do not know; I did not see the engine. Methinks the engine is missing. PoR. Stupid ! How did it sound ? Ham. Oh, Portia, I listened not to the engine, but to the music of your voice. PoR. Be sensible, Hamlet. Didst like the car- buretor? SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. 13 Ham. [Pujsded]. The carburetor? Oh, yes, the carburetor doth suit me well. PoR. And tell me of the spark plugs. Ham. The spark plugs do A^ork well, but not so well as I hope they will sometime.- PoR. Hamlet, really you must remember that Othello, the Moor of Venice, hath given me this ring. Ham. Yes, fair Portia, but also heed my words. Thou goest to a women's college and know not men. For over the por- tals all men read, ''Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." PoR. Oh, yes, but the rude men do not enter; they sing beneath our windows when teachers lie asleeping. Ham. Yet I protest you know not men, not such men as I. Now / would never stand outsid^ the window. I would walk into the parlor. PoR. But the parlor throngs with maidens who dwell, you know, within the walls of the "Mansion of Aching Hearts." Ham. I fear not girls. For your sake, dearest Portia, I would brave even these. PoR. But suppose the dean of women should come in ? Ham. I would salute her fair, and she would not say me nay. 14 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. PoR. I know, then, Hamlet, that thou art truly brave — but still there is Othello. Ham. We should manifest concern about Othello ! [They go out (R.)- Enter Othello and Ophelia, talking earnestly.] 0th. Oh, Ophelia^ would that I could take you from this life of toil ! But I am be- trothed to Portia. Oph. [Sighing]. I know not why I am so sad. It wearies me ; you say it makes you tired. Oth. Cheer up, fair one; everything will come out all ri^ht ; of that I am assured. But wait, I hear voices. Let us wait until those approaching shall pass by. [They step behind the shrubbery. Hamlet and Portia enter (R.)] Ham. Since thou, fair Portia, hast given me thy word that thou wilt marry me, let's flee away and seek out a jus- tice of the peace. POR. But what will Shylock, my father, say ? Ham. Shylock will be joyful. No longer will he be compelled to pay out ducats to the college. No longer will he receive accounts from soda parlors which call for ducats — ever more for ducats. SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. 15 PoR. But there's the ring Othello gave me. Ham. Send it back to him by parcel post. And now go pack your suit case and we will hie to the corner of , there to catch the jitney which flit- teth swift as ever swallow flew. • PoR. Oh, that jitney is ever behind the hour. Come, now, I will not go unless thou buyest a Ford, and thus we will depart. Ham. So be it, gentle maiden; thou hast me in thy horsepower. Now let us hence ! I'll pay my sheckels for the Ford while thou dost pack thy suit case. Then we will meet anon at this place. PoR. Adieu, my lord. [Hamlet kneels and kisses her hand; then goes out (L.). Portia goes out (R.)- Othello and Ophelia come dozani stage.] Oth. [Greatly agitated]. That was the most unkindest cut of all. Inconstancy, thy name is woman. But come, dry those tears. Sweet are the uses of adversity, for now, Ophelia, I can truly say, I love you. Oph. Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, fare thee well. [They embrace, and do not see Jaques, zuho enters (L.), speaking]. 16 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. Jaq. Greetings, friends. [They do not hear him.] Greetings. I say, Othello, don't you think you are overdoing things ? [Othello turns and seizes Jaques by the hand]. Oth. Jaques, you have made me the happiest man in the state. Jaq. I don't get you. What's the Big Idea? Oth. Why, don't you see — [Enter Portia (R.) and Hamlet (L.), clad in automobile outfit, carrying suit cases, etc. They stop, amazed.] Well, Portia, what hast thou to say? PoR. I hast nothing to say except here's your old ring. [She crosses and stands by Hamlet. Otheli,o takes the ring and puts it on Ophelia's finger.] Jaq. And one man in his time plays many parts. Oh, day and night, but this is wondrous strange ! Ham. Jaques, you are a born match-maker. I owe you more than tongue can tell. PoR- [Going to Jaques]. And I, too, for Hamlet really bought a car, you know. SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. 17 Oph. [Going to Jaoues]. Oh, Jaques, thou hast turned my night to day. Jaq. All I have to say is ''All the world's a stage — " [All shozv signs of distress and turn azvay. Enter Titania. She dances across the stage and looks at each couple and then at Jaques, and laughingly says]. Tit. What fools these mortals be. To each a word of warning I would give. With attention let each one heed. [Turns 'to Jaques]. Jaques, be not so amazed, In the game of love there are no rules, And Cupid, taking random aim Of wise men, often maketh fools. [Turns to Portia]. Portia, thou art a fickle lass. But now you must be good and true. Hamlet, let her not in lightsome mood Sometime give back a ring to you. [Turns to Ophelia]. Ophelia, from your story let all maids a lesson take. Oph. I pray you, Titania, tell me what it is. Tit. Waste not tears on hopeless love. For love that's cold weep not nor sigh ; For every heart another beats, True love will soon come riding by. [To all] 18 SHAKESPEARE UP-TO-DATE. And now to the wedding Let us all away. Lead, Hamlet, and, Othello, ni follow — if I may. [The two couples pass off the stage howing to Titania as they leave. Jaques stands alone, zvith his head bent. Titania looks at him laughing, then running, seises his hand and drags him off.] [curtain.] ► A LARG for your LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 016 103 947 A Big Flag AT A Little Price Size 5x8 feet Price, only $1.69, Postpaid Description. Made of a strong grade of Cotton Bunting, strictly fast Government colors, machine sewed. These flags are protected from fraying or ripping at the end by turn- ing in a double thickness, stitched with four rows of stitching. Canvas headings and grommets. All flags have full number of stars sewed on both sides. They are high grade, durable and perfect. The Biggest Flag Bargain Offered. How to get one C*^,^-^^ of these big flags K iCC Your scholars will gladly contribute five cents each for the flag. Or, divide the schoo linto "teams," and have a contest to see which team can raise the most money for the flag. Or, send us thirty cents for three dozen very finelittle silk flags. These your scholars can sel J for five cents each, proceeds to go towards the purchase of a flag. Or, give an entertainment and with the proceeds buy a flag and a library. The people want you to have a flag, and they will help. Don't Delay— -Do It Now I MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 208, 210, 212 Wright Avenue, LEBANON, OHIO