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THE 
 
 MOTHER AT HOME; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE PRINCIPLES OF MATEMAL DUTY 
 
 FAMILIARLY ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 ST. JOHN S'. C. ABBOTT, 
 
 WORCESTER, MASS- 
 
 F 
 
 PUBLISHED BY THE 
 AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY, 
 
 150 NASSAU-STREET, NEW YORK. 
 
v£* n 
 
 \ 
 
 &o' 
 
 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1833, by Crocker & 
 Brewster, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 
 
 Right of publishing transferred to the American Tract Society. 
 
 By Bxct 
 Army And Navy Qiyfo 
 
 >V 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 TO MY FATHEE AND MOTHER, 
 
 This book is most affectionately dedicated. For 
 the principles here inculcated, I am indebted to the 
 instructions I received, and the scenes I witnessed, 
 at your fireside. That God may render them avail- 
 able in conferring the same joy upon other families 
 which they have so richly shed upon yours, is the 
 
 prayer of your 
 
 G-EATEFUL SON. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 The object of this book is practical utility, not 
 literary effect. It was written for mothers in the 
 common walks of life. There are many mothers, 
 in every village of our land, who are looking eagerly 
 for information respecting the government of their 
 children. It is hoped that the following treatise 
 may render them some assistance. 
 
 Some persons may object to the minuteness of 
 detail, and the familiarity of illustration, occasion- 
 ally introduced. We, however, are persuaded that 
 this objection will not be made by mothers. Edu- 
 cation consists in attention to little things. 
 
 The religious sentiments inculcated in this book 
 are those usually denominated evangelical. We 
 have proceeded upon the principle that here is the 
 commencement of eternal existence, and that the 
 great object of education is to prepare the child for 
 its heavenly home. 
 
 When a person writes upon the subject of family 
 
6 PREFACE. 
 
 government, the first thought which arises in the 
 minds of many readers, is, "We will see how he 
 succeeds in his own family." There are many 
 motives, such as indolence, false tenderness, etc., 
 operating to induce a parent to neglect known duty. 
 The principles' contained in this book may be cor- 
 rect, even though the author should fail to enforce 
 them. 
 
 This treatise was commenced with particular 
 reference to the mothers who attend my ministry. 
 That it may be of assistance to them, in their efforts 
 to lead their children to the Saviour, is the earnest 
 prayer of their friend and pastor, 
 
 JOHN S. C. ABBOTT. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 RESPONSIBILITY. 
 Anecdote. The Mother of Washington. Byron. Newton. 
 The Sailor. Consequences of a daughter's sin. The 
 Maniac. The way to avoid maternal anguish, .... 9 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 
 Necessity of obedience. What is meant by obedience. The 
 sick child. The way to obtain obedience. Scene in a farm- 
 house. Instance of maternal faithfulness. Motfiers' ex- 
 cuses. Two family scenes. A mother's power, . . 24 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MATERNAL AUTHORITY, CONTINUED. 
 
 Contests with children. Anecdote. The way to avoid con- 
 tests. Variations of feeling. Difference of natural dispo- 
 sition. Variations of punishment. Unjust punishment. 
 Illustrations. Time to commence government. Effects of 
 severity, 39 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 Necessity of self-control. Illustration. Necessity of resolu- 
 tion. The unhappy widow. Anecdote of Bonaparte. 
 Fatal indulgence of sick children. Importance of harmony 
 of views between both parents. Family saved from ruin 
 by a mother, 62 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 FAULTS AND ERRORS. 
 
 Talking about children in their presence. Anecdote. Self- 
 conceit, how produced. Injudicious remarks of visitors. 
 
8 CONTENTS. 
 
 The vain child. Making exhibitions of children's attain- 
 ments. Repeating hymns. Remarks of an English gen- 
 tleman. Secluding children from society. A family scene. 
 Loquacity. Anecdote. Deceiving children. The phy- 
 sician. Good effects of approbation. Basil Hall. Imagin- 
 ary fears. Apalling consequences of resorting to them for 
 punishment, 80 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 A mother's influence. Importance of deep devotional feeling. 
 Dying scene. The cheerful aspect in which religion should 
 be presented. Appropriate occasions for religious instruc- 
 tion. Tenderness of feeling. The storm. Sickness. The 
 death of a child. Anecdote. The summer's morning. 
 Loss of a ball. The gentleman and the cabin-boy. Inap- 
 propriate occasions. Excitement. Tedious conversa- 
 tion, 107 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION, CONTINUED. 
 
 Indefinite views of heaven. Vivid description of the inspired 
 writers. Intellectual delight. Rapture of Melody. Joy 
 of friendship. Beauty of scenery. The Saviour. Im- 
 pression a Saviour's love produces on the mind of a child. 
 Nathan Dickerman. Prayer with children. The gambler. 
 English gentleman. Teaching children to pray. Mode. 
 Anecdote. Expect success. Sources of encouragement. 
 Evil consequences of giving publicity to the hopeful piety 
 of a child, 127 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 RESULTS. 
 
 'A mother's joys. A mother's influence on future generations. 
 
 , Consequences of a father's neglect of duty. Necessity of 
 studying the subject of education. Consequences of igno- 
 rance. Keeping journals. Extracts from a mother's note- 
 book. Cessation of toil, and a heavenly home, . .149 
 
THE 
 
 OTHER AT HOME. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 A few years ago, some gentlemen who were 
 associated in preparing for the ministry, felt inter- 
 ested in ascertaining what proportion of their num- 
 ber had pious mothers. They were greatly surprised 
 and delighted in finding that out of one hundred 
 and twenty students, over a hundred had been borne 
 by a mother's prayers, and directed by a mother's 
 counsels, to the Saviour. Though some of these had 
 broken away from all the restraints of home, and 
 like the prodigal, had wandered in sin and sorrow, 
 yet they could not forget the impressions of child- 
 hood, and were eventually brought to the Saviour, 
 to be a mother's joy and blessing. Many interest- 
 ing facts have, within a few years, drawn the at- 
 tention of Christians to this subject. The efforts 
 
10 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 which a mother makes for the improvement of her 
 child in knowledge and virtue, are necessarily re- 
 tired and unobtrusive. The world knows not of 
 them ; and hence the world has been slow to per- 
 ceive how powerful and extensive is this secret and 
 Bilent influence. But circumstances are now direct- 
 ing the eyes of the community to the nursery, and 
 the truth is daily coming more distinctly before the 
 public, that the influence which is exerted upon the 
 mind during the first eight or ten years of existence, 
 in a great degree guides the destinies of that mind 
 for time and eternity. And as the mother is the 
 guardian and guide of the early years of life, from 
 her goes the most powerful influence in the forma- 
 tion of the character of man. And why should it 
 not be so ? "What impressions can be more strong, 
 and more lasting, than those received upon the mind 
 in the freshness and the susceptibility of youth ? 
 What instructor can gain greater confidence and 
 respect than a mother ? And where can there be 
 delight in acquiring knowledge, if not when the 
 little flock cluster around a mother's knee to hear 
 of God and heaven ? 
 
 "A good boy generally makes a good man." Said 
 the mother of Washington, " George was always a 
 good boy." Here we see one secret of his greatness. 
 George Washington had a mother who made him a 
 good boy, and instilled into his heart those princi- 
 ples which raised him to be the benefactor of hia 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. ll 
 
 country, and one of the brightest ornaments of the 
 world. The mother of Washington is entitled to a 
 nation's gratitude. She taught her boy the princi- 
 ples of obedience, and moral courage, and virtue. 
 She, in a great measure, formed the character of 
 the hero, and the statesman. It was by her own 
 fireside that she taught her playful boy to govern 
 himself ; and thus was he prepared for the brilliant 
 career of usefulness which he afterwards pursued. 
 We are indebted to God for the gift of Washington ; 
 but we are no less indebted to him for the gift of 
 his inestimable mother. Had she been a weak, and 
 indulgent, and unfaithful parent, the unchecked 
 energies of Washington might have elevated him 
 to the throne of a tyrant ; or youthful disobedience 
 might have prepared the way for a life of crime and 
 a dishonored grave. 
 
 Byron had a mother just the reverse of lady Wash- 
 ington ; and the character of the mother was trans- 
 ferred to the son. We cannot wonder then at his 
 character and conduct, for we see them to be the 
 almost necessary consequence of the education he 
 received, and the scenes witnessed in his mother's 
 parlor. She would at one time allow him to diso- 
 bey with impunity ; again, she would fly into a rage 
 and beat him. She thus taught him to defy all 
 authority, human and divine ; to indulge, without 
 restraint, in sin ; to give himself up to the power 
 of every maddening passion It was the mother of 
 
12 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Byron who laid the foundation of his preeminence 
 in guilt. She taught him to plunge into that sea 
 of profligacy and wretchedness, upon whose agitated 
 waves he was tossed for life. If the crimes of the 
 poet deserve the execration of the world, the world 
 cannot forget that it was the mother who fostered 
 in his youthful heart those passions which made 
 the son a curse to his fellow-men. 
 
 There are, it is true, innumerable causes inces- 
 santly operating in the formation of character. A 
 mother's influence is by no means the only influence 
 which is exerted. Still, it may be the most power- 
 ful ; for, with God's ordinary blessing, it may form 
 in the youthful mind the habits, and implant the 
 principles, to which other influences are to give per- 
 manency and vigor. 
 
 A pious and faithful mother may have a dissolute 
 child. He may break away from all restraints, and 
 God may leave him to " eat the fruit of his own 
 devices." The parent thus afflicted and broken- 
 hearted can only bow before the sovereignty of her 
 Maker, who says, " Be still, and know that I am 
 God." The consciousness, however, of having done 
 
 .one's duty ; divests this affliction of much of its bit- 
 terness. And besides, such cases are rare. Profli- 
 
 ' gate children are generally the offspring of parents 
 who have neglected the moral and religious educa- 
 tion of their family. Some parents are themselves 
 profligate, and thus not only allow their children to 
 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 13 
 
 grow up unrestrained, "but by their example lure 
 them to sin. But there are others, who are very 
 upright and virtuous, and even pious themselves, 
 who do, nevertheless, neglect the moral culture of 
 their children ; and as a consequence, they grow up 
 in disobedience and sin. It matters but little what 
 the cause is which leads to this neglect. The neg- 
 lect itself will ordinarily be followed by disobedi- 
 ence and self-will. 
 
 I Hence the reason that children of eminent men, 
 both in church and state, are not unfrequently the 
 disgrace of their parents. If the mother is unaccus- 
 tomed to govern her children, if she look to the fa- 
 ther to enforce obedience and to control, when he 
 is absent all family government is absent, and the 
 children are left to run wild; to learn lessons of dis- 
 obedience ; to practise arts of deception ; to build, 
 upon the foundation of contempt for a mother, a 
 character of insubordination and iniquity. But if 
 the children are under the efficient government of 
 a judicious mother, the reverse of this is almost 
 invariably the case. And since, in* nearly every 
 instance, the early .years of life are intrusted to a 
 mother's care, it follows that maternal influence, 
 more than any thing else, forms the future char- 
 acter. 
 
 The history of John Newton is often mentioned 
 as a proof of the deep and lasting impression which 
 a mother may produce upon the mind of her child, 
 
14 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 He had a pious mother. She often retired to her 
 closet, and placing her hand upon his youthful head, 
 implored God's blessing upon her boy. These pray- 
 ers and instructions sunk deep into his heart. He 
 could not but revere that mother. He could not 
 but feel that there was a holiness in such a charac- 
 ter, demanding reverence and love. He could not 
 tear from his heart, in after-life, the impressions 
 then produced. Though he became a wicked wan- 
 derer, though he forsook friends and home and eve- . 
 ry virtue, the remembrance of a mother's prayers, 
 like a guardian angel, followed him wherever he 
 went. He mingled in the most dissipated and dis- 
 graceful scenes of a sailor's life, and while sur- 
 rounded with guilty associates, in midnight revelry, 
 he would fancy he felt the soft hand of his mother 
 upon his head, pleading with God to forgive and 
 bless her boy. He went to the coast of Africa, and 
 became even more degraded than the savages upon 
 her dreary shores ; but the soft hand of his mother 
 was still upon his head, and the fervent prayers of 
 his mother still thrilled in his heart. And this"' influ- 
 ence, after the lapse of many guilty years, brought 
 back the prodigal a penitent and a child of God, 
 elevated him to be one of the brightest ornaments of 
 the Christian church, and to guide many sons and 
 daughters to glory. What a forcible comment is 
 this upon the power of maternal influence ; and what 
 encouragement does this present to every mother to 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 15 
 
 be faithful in her efforts to train up her child for 
 God. Had Mrs. Newton neglected her duty, had 
 she even been as remiss as many Christian mothers, 
 her son, to all human view, might have continued 
 in sin, and been an outcast from heaven. It was 
 through the influence of the mother that the son 
 was saved. Newton became afterwards a most suc- 
 cessful preacher of the gospel, and every soul which 
 he was instrumental in saving, as he sings the song 
 of redeeming mercy, will, through eternity, bless 
 God that Newton had such a mother. 
 
 The influence thus exerted upon the mind in 
 early childhood, may, for many years, be apparently 
 lost. When a son leaves home, and enters upon 
 the busy world, many are the temptations which 
 come crowding upon him. If he leaves not his 
 mother with established principles of religion and 
 self-control, he will most assuredly fall before these 
 temptations. He may indeed fall, even after all a 
 mother has done, or can do ; and he may become 
 deeply involved in guilt. But he may apparently 
 forget every lesson he learnt at home, while the 
 influence of a mother's instructions and a mother's 
 prayers is yet working powerfully and effectually 
 in his heart. He will think of a mother's tears 
 when remorse keeps him awake at midnight, or 
 when danger threatens him with speedy arraign- 
 ment at the bar of God. The thoughts of the sa- 
 credness of home will often throw bitterness into his 
 
16 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 cup of guilty pleasure, and compel him to sigh for 
 the virtue and the peace he has forsaken. Even 
 though far away, in abodes of infamy, degraded and 
 abandoned, he must occasionally think of a broken- 
 hearted mother. Thus may he, after many years, 
 perhaps long after she has gone down to the grave, 
 be led by the remembrance of her virtues to forsake 
 his sins. 
 
 A short time since, a gentleman in one of our 
 most populous cities was going to attend a sea- 
 man's meeting at the mariner's chapel. Directly 
 opposite the chapel there was a sailor's boarding- 
 house. In the door-way sat a hardy, weather-beat- 
 en sailor, with arms folded, and smoking a segar, 
 watching the people as they gradually assembled 
 for the meeting. The gentleman walked up to him 
 and said, "Well, my friend, wont you go with us 
 to the meeting?" "No," said the sailor, bluntly. 
 The gentleman, who, from the appearance of the 
 man, was prepared for a repulse, mildly replied, 
 "You look, my friend, as though you had seen hard 
 days ; have you a mother?" The sailor raised his 
 head, looked earnestly in the gentleman's face, and 
 made no reply. 
 
 The gentleman continued : " Suppose your moth- 
 
 'er were here now, what advice would she givo 
 
 you?" The tears rushed into the eyes of the poor 
 
 sailor ; he tried for a moment to conceal them, but 
 
 could not ; and hastily brushing them away with 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 17 
 
 the back of his rough hand, rose and said, with a 
 voice almost inarticulate through emotion, " I'll go 
 to the meeting." He crossed the street, entered the 
 door of the chapel, and took his seat with the as- 
 sembled congregation. 
 
 What afterwards became of the man is not known. 
 It is however almost certain that he must have had 
 a mother who had given him good instruction ; and 
 when the gentleman appealed to her, hardened as 
 the sailor was, his heart melted. It is by no means 
 improbable that this interview may have checked 
 this man in his sins, and led him to Christ. At any 
 event, it shows the strength of maternal influence. 
 It shows that years of wandering and of sin cannot 
 erase from the heart the impression which a mother's 
 instructions and a mother's prayers have left there. 
 
 It is a great trial to have children undutiful when 
 young ; but it is a tenfold greater affliction to have 
 a child grow up to maturity in disobedience, and 
 become a dissolute and abandoned man. How many 
 parents have passed days of sorrow and nights of 
 sleeplessness in consequence of the misconduct of 
 their offspring. How many have had their hearts 
 broken, and their grey hairs brought down with sor- 
 row to the grave, solely in consequence of their own 
 neglect to train up their children in the nurture and 
 admonition of the Lord. Your future happiness is 
 in the hands of your children. They may throw 
 gloom over all your prospects, imbitter every enjoy- 
 
 Mother at Home. o 
 
18 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ment, and make you so miserable, that your only 
 prospect of relief will be in death. 
 
 That little girl whom you now fondle upon your 
 knee, and who plays, so full of enjoyment, upon 
 your floor, has entered a world where temptations 
 are thick around. What is to enable her to resist 
 these temptations, but established principles of 
 piety ? And where is she to obtain these principles, 
 but from a mother's instructions and example ? If, 
 through your neglect now, she should hereafter yield 
 herself to temptation and sin, what must become of 
 your peace of mind ? 0, mother, little are you 
 aware of the wretchedness with which your loved 
 daughter may hereafter overwhelm you. 
 
 Many illustrations of the most affecting nature 
 might be here introduced. It would be easy to ap- 
 peal to a vast number of living sufferers, in attesta- 
 tion of the woe which the sin of the child has occa- 
 sioned. You may go, not only in imagination, but 
 in reality, to the darkened chamber where the moth- 
 er aits weeping, and refusing to be comforted, foi 
 a daughter is lost to virtue and to heaven. Still, 
 no person can imagine how overwhelming the ago- 
 ny which must prey upon a mother thus dishonored 
 and broken-hearted. This is a sorrow which can 
 only be understood by one who has tasted its bitter- 
 ness and felt its weight. We may go to the house 
 of piety and prayer, and find the father and mother 
 with countenances emaciated with suffering ; not a 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 19 
 
 smile plays upon their features, and the mournful 
 accents of their voice tell how deeply seated is their 
 sorrow. Shall we inquire into the cause of this 
 heart-rending grief ? The mother would only reply 
 with tears and sobs. The father would summon all 
 his fortitude, and say, " My daughter" — and say no 
 more. The anguish of his spirit would prevent the 
 further utterance of his grief. 
 
 Is this exaggeration ? No. Let your lovely daugh- 
 ter, now your pride and joy, be abandoned to infa- 
 my, be an outcast from society, and you must feel 
 v/hat language cannot express. 
 
 This is a dreadful subject, but it is one which 
 the mother must feel and understand. There are 
 facts which might here be introduced, sufficient to 
 make every parent tremble. We might lead you 
 to the dwelling of the clergyman, and tell you that 
 a daughter's sin has murdered the mother, and sent 
 paleness to the cheek, and trembling to the frame, 
 and agony to the heart of the aged father. We 
 might carry you to the parlor of the rich man, and 
 show you all the elegance and the opulence with 
 which he is surrounded ; and yet he would tell you 
 that he was one of the most unhappy of the sons 
 of affliction, and that he would gladly give all his 
 treasures if he Could purchase back a daughter's 
 virtue ; that he could gladly lie down to die, if he 
 could thus blot out the remembrance of a daugh* 
 ter's infamy. * 
 
20 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 No matter what your situation in life may. be, 
 that little child, now so innocent, whose playful en- 
 dearments and happy laugh awaken such thrilling 
 emotions in your heart, may cause you years of 
 most unalleviated misery. 
 
 And, mother, look at that drunken vagrant, stag- 
 gering by your door. Listen to his horrid impreca- 
 tions, as, bloated and ragged, he passes along. That 
 wretch has a mother. Perhaps, widowed and in 
 poverty, she needs the comfort and support of an 
 affectionate son. You have a son. You may soon 
 be a widow. If your son is dissolute, you are doubly 
 widowed ; you are worse, infinitely worse than child- 
 less. You cannot now endure even the thought 
 that your son will ever be thus abandoned. How 
 dreadful then must be the experience of the reality ! 
 
 I once knew a mother who had an only son. She 
 loved him most ardently, and could not bear to deny 
 him any indulgence. He, of course, soon learned 
 to rule his mother. At the death of his father, 
 the poor woman was left at the mercy of this vile 
 boy. She had neglected her duty when he was 
 young, and now his ungovernable passions had be- 
 come too strong for her control. Self-willed, turbu- 
 lent, and revengeful, he was his mother's bitterest 
 curse. His paroxysms of rage.at times amounted 
 almost to loudness. One day, infuriated against his 
 mother, he set fire to her house, and it was burned 
 to the ground with all its contents, and she was 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 21 
 
 left in the extremest state of poverty. He was im- 
 prisoned as an incendiary, and, in his cell, he he- 
 came a maniac, if he was not such hefore, and madly 
 dug out his own eyes. He now lies in perpetual 
 darkness, confined hy the stone walls and grated 
 bars of his dungeon, an infuriated madman. 
 
 how hard it must be for a mother, after all 
 her pain and anxiety and watchings, to find her 
 son a demoniac spirit, instead of a guardian and 
 friend ! You have watched over your child through 
 all the months of its helpless infancy. You have 
 denied yourself, that you might give it comfort. 
 When it has been sick, you have been unmindful of 
 your own weariness and your own weakness, and 
 the livelong night you have watched at its cradle, 
 administering to all its wants. When it has smiled, 
 you have felt a joy which none but a parent can 
 feel, and have pressed your much-loved treasure to 
 your bosom, praying that its future years of obe- 
 dience and affection might be your ample reward. 
 And now, how dreadful a requital, for that child to 
 grow up to hate and abuse you ; to leave you friend- 
 less, in sickness and in poverty ; to squander all his 
 earnings in haunts of iniquity and degradation ! 
 
 How entirely is your earthly happiness at the dis- 
 posal of your child. His character is now, in an 
 important sense, in your hands, and you are to form 
 it for good or for evil. If you are consistent in your 
 government, and faithful in the discharge of your 
 
22 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 duties, your child will probably through life revere 
 you, and be the stay and solace of your declining 
 years. If, on the other hand, you cannot summon 
 resolution to punish your child when disobedient ; 
 if you do not curb his passions ; if you do not bring 
 him to entire and willing subjection to your author- 
 ity, you must expect that he will be your curse. 
 In all probability, he will despise you for your 
 weakness. Unaccustomed to restraints at home, he 
 will break away from all restraints, and make you 
 wretched by his life, and disgraceful in his death. 
 
 But few parents think of this as they ought. 
 They are not conscious of the tremendous conse- 
 quences dependent upon the efficient and decisive 
 government of their children. Thousands of parents 
 now stand in our land like oaks blighted and scathed 
 by lightnings and storms. Thousands have had 
 every hope wrecked, every prospect darkened, and 
 have become the victims of the most agonizing and 
 heart-rending disappointment, solely in consequence 
 of the misconduct of their children. And yet thou- 
 sands of others are going on in the same way, pre- 
 paring to experience the same suffering, and are 
 apparently unconscious of their danger. 
 
 It is true that there are many mothers who feel 
 their responsibilities perhaps as deeply as it is best 
 they should feel them. But there are many others, 
 even of Christian mothers, who seem to forget 
 that their children will ever be less under their 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 23 
 
 control than they are while young. And they are 
 training them up, by indecision and indulgence, 
 soon to tyrannize over their parents with a rod of 
 iron, and to pierce their hearts with many sorrows. 
 If you are unfaithful to your child when he is young, 
 he will he unfaithful to you when he is old. If you 
 indulge him in all his foolish and unreasonable 
 wishes when he is a child, when he becomes a man 
 he will indulge himself; he will gratify every desire 
 of his heart ; and your sufferings will be rendered 
 the more poignant by the reflection that it was your 
 own unfaithfulness which has caused your ruin. 
 If you would be the happy mother of a happy child, 
 give your attention, and your efforts, and your pray- 
 ers, to the great duty of training him up for God 
 and heaven. 
 
24 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 
 
 I have thus endeavored to show the mother how 
 much her happiness is dependent upon the good or 
 bad character of her children. Your own reflections 
 and observations have, doubtless, impressed this 
 subject most deeply upon your heart. The question 
 has probably often presented itself to your mind, 
 while reading the previous chapter, "How shall 1 
 govern my children, so as to secure their virtue and 
 happiness ?" This question I shall now endeavor 
 to answer. 
 
 1. Obedience is absolutely essential to propel 
 family government. Without this, all other effort* 
 will be in vain. You may pray with, and for your 
 children; you may strive to instruct them in relig 
 ious truth ; you may be unwoaried in your efforts tc 
 make them happy, and to gain their affection; but 
 if they are in habits of disobedience, your instruc- 
 tions will be lost, and your toil in vain. And by 
 obedience, I do not mean languid and dilatory yield- 
 ing to repeated threats, but prompt and cheerful 
 , acquiescence in parental commands. Neither is it 
 enough that a child should yield to your arguments 
 and persuasions. It is essential that he should sub- 
 mit to your authority. 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 25 
 
 I will suppose a case in illustration of this last 
 remark. Your little daughter is sick ; you go to 
 her with the medicine which has been prescribed 
 for her, and the following dialogue ensues. 
 
 "Here, my daughter, is some medicine for you." 
 " I don't want to take it, mamma." 
 "Yes, my dear, do take it, for it will make you 
 feel better." 
 
 "No it wont, mother, I don't want it." 
 "Yes it will, my child; the doctor says it will." 
 ""Well, it don't taste good, and I don't want it." 
 The mother continues her persuasions, and the 
 child persists in its refusal. After a long and wea- 
 risome conflict the mother is compelled either to 
 throw the medicine away, or to resort to compulsion 
 and force down the unpalatable drug. Thus instead 
 of appealing to her own supreme authority, she is 
 appealing to the reason of the child, and, under 
 these circumstances, the child of course refuses to 
 submit. 
 
 A mother, not long since, under similar circum- 
 stances, not being able to persuade her child to take 
 the medicine, ana* not having sufficient resolution to 
 compel it, threw the medicine away. When the 
 physician next called, she was ashamed to acknow- 
 ledge her want of government, and therefore did not 
 tell him that the medicine had not been given. The 
 physician finding the child worse, left another pre- 
 scription, supposing the previous one had been prop- 
 
26 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 erly administered. But the child had no idea of 
 being convinced of the propriety of taking the nau- 
 seous dose, and the renewed efforts of the mother 
 were unavailing. Again the fond and foolish, but 
 cruel parent threw the medicine away, and the 
 fever was left to rage unchecked in its veins. Again 
 the physician called, and was surprised to find the 
 inefficacy of his prescriptions, and that the poor lit- 
 tle sufferer was at the verge of death. The mother, 
 when informed that her child must die, was in an 
 agony, and confessed what she had done. But it 
 was too late. The child died. And think you that 
 mother gazed upon its pale corpse with any common 
 emotions of anguish ? Think you the idea never 
 entered her mind that she was the destroyer of her 
 child ? Physicians will tell you that many children 
 have been thus lost. Unaccustomed to obedience 
 when well, they were still more averse to it when 
 sick. The efforts which are made to induce a stub- 
 born child to take medicine, often produce such an 
 excitement as entirely to counteract the effect of the 
 prescription ; and thus is a mother often called to 
 weep over the grave of her chilcf, simply because 
 she has not taught that child to obey. 
 
 It is certainly the duty of parents to convince 
 their children of the reasonableness and propriety 
 of their requirements. This should be done to in- 
 struct them, and to make them acquainted with 
 moral obligation. But there should always he 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 27 
 
 authority sufficient to enforce prompt obedience, 
 whether the child can see the reason of the require- 
 ment or not. Indeed, it is impossible to govern a 
 child by mere argument. Many cases must occur, 
 in which it will be incapable of seeing the reasona- 
 bleness of the command; and often its wishes will 
 be so strongly opposed to duty, that all the efforts 
 to convince will be in vain. The first thing there- 
 fore to be aimed at, is to bring your child under 
 perfect subjection. Teach him that he must obey 
 you. Sometimes give him your reasons; again 
 withhold them. But let him perfectly understand 
 that he is to do as he is bid. Accustom him to 
 immediate and cheerful acquiescence in your will. 
 This is obedience. And this is absolutely essential 
 to good family government. Without this, your 
 family will present one continued scene of noise and 
 confusion ; the toil of rearing up your children will 
 be almost insupportable, and, in all probability, 
 your heart will be broken by their future licentious- 
 ness or ingratitude. 
 
 2. We come now to the inquiry, How is this 
 habit of obedience to be established ? This is not so 
 difficult a matter as many imagine. It does not 
 require profound learning, or a mysterious skill, 
 which pertains but to the few. Where do you find 
 the best regulated families ? Are they in the houses 
 of the rich ? Do the children of our most eminent 
 men furnish the best patterns for imitation ? Obvi- 
 
28 ' THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ously not. In some of the most humble dwellings 
 we find the beautiful spectacle of an orderly and well 
 regulated family. On the other hand, in the man- 
 sions of the wealthiest or most eminent men of our 
 country, we may often find a family of rude girls 
 and ungovernable boys, a picture of wild misrule. 
 It is not greatness of talent, or profound learning, 
 which is requisite to teach a child obedience. The 
 principles by which we are to be guided are very 
 simple and very plain. 
 
 Never give a command ivhich you do not intend 
 shall be obeyed. 
 
 There is no more effectual way of teaching a 
 child disobedience, than by giving commands which 
 you have no intention of enforcing. A child is thus 
 habituated to disregard its mother ; and in a short 
 time the habit becomes so strong, and the child's 
 contempt for the mother so confirmed, that entrea- 
 ties and threats are alike unheeded. 
 
 "Mary, let that book alone," says a mother to her 
 little daughter, who is trying to pull the Bible from 
 the table. 
 
 Mary stops for a moment, and then takes hold of 
 the book again. 
 
 Pretty soon the mother looks up and sees that 
 .Mary is still playing with the Bible. "Did not you 
 hear me tell you to let that book alone?" she ex- 
 claims: "Why don't you obey?" 
 
 Mary takes away her hand for a moment, but is 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 29 
 
 soon again at her forbidden amusement. By and 
 by, down comes the Bible upon the floor. Up jumps 
 the mother, and hastily giving the child a passionate 
 blow, exclaims, " There, then ; obey me next time." 
 The child screams, and the mother picks up the 
 Bible, saying, " I wonder why my children do not 
 obey me better." 
 
 This is not a very interesting family scene, but 
 every one of my readers will admit that it is not an 
 uncommon one. And is it strange that a child, 
 thus managed, should be disobedient ? No. She is 
 actually led on by her mother to insubordination; 
 she is actually taught to pay no heed to her direc- 
 tions. Even the improper punishment which some- 
 times follows transgression, is not inflicted on ac- 
 count of her disobedience, but for the accidental 
 consequences. In the case above described, had the 
 Bible not fallen, the disobedience of the child would 
 have passed unpunished. Let it be an immutable 
 principle in family government, that your word is 
 law. 
 
 I was once, when riding in the country, overtaken 
 by a shower, and compelled to seek shelter in a farm- 
 house. Half a dozen rude and ungovernable boys 
 were racing about the room, in such an uproar as 
 to prevent the possibility of conversation with the 
 father, who was sitting by the fire. As I, however, 
 endeavored to make some remark, the father shouted 
 out, " Stop that noise, boys." 
 
30 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 They paid no more heed to him than they did to 
 the rain. Soon again, in an irritated voice, he 
 exclaimed, 
 
 " Boys, be still, or I will whip you ; as sure as 
 you are alive, I will." But the hoys, as though 
 .accustomed to such threats, screamed and quarrelled 
 without intermission. 
 
 At last the father said to me, "I believe I have 
 got the worst boys in town ; I never can make them 
 mind me." 
 
 The fact was, these boys had the worst father in 
 town. He was teaching them disobedience as di- 
 rectly and efficiently as he could. He was giving 
 commands which he had no intention of enforcing, 
 and they knew it. This, to be sure, is an extreme 
 case. But just so far as any mother allows her 
 authority to be disregarded, so far does she expose 
 herself to the contempt of her children, and actually 
 teaches them lessons of disobedience. 
 
 And is there any difficulty in enforcing obedience 
 to any definite command? Take the case of the 
 child playing with the Bible. A mild and judicious 
 mother says distinctly and decidedly to her child, 
 "My daughter, that is the Bible, and you must not 
 touch it." The child hesitates for a moment, but 
 'yielding to the strong temptation, is soon playing 
 with the forbidden book. The mother immediately 
 rises, takes the child, and carries her into her cham- 
 ber. She sits down and says calmly, "Mary, I told 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 31 
 
 you not to touch the Bible, and you have disobeyed 
 me. I am very sorry, for now I must punish you." 
 
 Mary begins to cry, and to promise not to do so 
 again. 
 
 "But, Mary," says the mother, "you have dis- 
 obeyed me, and you must be punished." 
 
 Mary continues to cry, but the mother seriously 
 and calmly punishes her. She inflicts real pain — 
 pain that will be remembered. 
 
 She then says, "Mary, it makes mother very un- 
 happy to have to punish you. She loves her little 
 daughter, and wishes to have her a good girl." 
 
 She then perhaps leaves her to herself for a few 
 minutes. A little solitude will deepen the impres- 
 sion made. 
 
 In five or ten minutes she returns, takes Mary in 
 her lap, and says, "My dear, are you sorry that you 
 disobeyed mother ?" 
 
 Almost any child would say, "Yes." 
 
 "Will you be careful and not disobey me again?" 
 
 "Yes, mother." 
 
 " Well, Mary," says her mother, " J will forgive 
 you, so far as I can ; but God is displeased ; you 
 have disobeyed him as well as me. Do you wish 
 me to ask God to forgive you ?" 
 
 "Yes, mother," answers the child. 
 
 The mother then kneels with her daughter and 
 offers a simple prayer for forgiveness, and the return 
 of peace and happiness. She then leads her out, 
 
32 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 humbled and subdued. At night, just before she 
 goes to sleep, she mildly and affectionately reminds 
 her of her disobedience, and advises her to ask God's 
 forgiveness again. Mary, in childlike simplicity, 
 acknowledges to God what she has done, and asks 
 him to forgive her, and take care of her during the 
 night. 
 
 When this child awakes in the morning, will not 
 her young affections be more strongly fixed upon her 
 mother, in consequence of the discipline of the pre- 
 ceding day ? As she is playing about the room, 
 will she be likely to forget the lesson she has been 
 taught, and again reach out her hand to a forbid- 
 den object? Such an act of discipline tends to es- 
 tablish a general principle in the mind of the child, 
 which will be of permanent operation, extending its 
 influence to every command, and promoting the 
 general authority of the mother and subjection of 
 the child. 
 
 I know that some mothers say they have not 
 time to pay so much attention to their children. 
 But the fact is, that not one third of the time is 
 required to take care of an orderly family, which is 
 necessary to take care of a disorderly one. To be 
 faithful in the government of your family, is the 
 •only way to save time. Can you afford to be dis- 
 tracted and harassed by continued disobedience ? 
 Can you spare the time to have your attention called 
 away every moment from the business in which 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 33 
 
 you are engaged, by the mischievousness of your 
 wilful children? 
 
 Look at the parent surrounded by a family of 
 children who are in the habit of doing as they please. 
 She is very busy, I will suppose, upon some article 
 of dress, which it is important should be immediately 
 finished. Every moment she is compelled to raise 
 her eyes from her work, to see what the children are 
 about. Samuel is climbing upon the table ; Jane is 
 drawing out the andirons ; John is galloping about 
 the room upon the tongs. The mother, almost deaf- 
 ened with noise, wonders what makes her children 
 so much more troublesome than other people's. 
 
 "Jane, let those andirons alone," she exclaims. 
 Jane runs away for a moment, chases Charles 
 around the room, and returns to her mischief. 
 
 " Charles, put up those tongs." Charles pays no 
 heed to the direction. 
 
 The mother, soon seeing how he is wearing the 
 carpet and bruising the furniture, gets up, gives 
 Charles a shake, and places the tongs in their prop- 
 er situation; but by the time she is fairly seated, 
 and at her work again, Charles is astride the shovel, 
 and travelling at the top of his speed. 
 
 I need no* continue this picture. But every one 
 knows that it is not exaggerated. Such scenes do 
 often occur. Thousands of immortal spirits are 
 trained up in this turbulence and anarchy and 
 noise, for time and for eternity. Now this mother 
 
 Mother at Home. 3 
 
34 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 will tell you that she has not time to "bring her 
 children into subjection. Whereas, had she been 
 faithful with each individual child, she would have 
 saved herself an immense amount of time and toil. 
 
 We will suppose the case of another mother, who 
 has the same work to perform. She has taught her 
 children prompt and implicit obedience. She gives 
 three of them perhaps some blocks, in one corner of 
 the room, and tells them that they may play " build 
 houses," but that they must not make much noise, 
 and must not interrupt her, for she wishes to be 
 busy. The other three she places in another corner 
 of the room, with their slates, and tells them that 
 they may play "■make 'pictures." The children, 
 accustomed to such orderly arrangements, employ 
 themselves very quietly and happily for perhaps 
 three quarters of an hour. The mother goes, on 
 uninterrupted in her work. Occasionally she raises 
 her eyes and says an encouraging word to her chil- 
 dren, now noticing the little architects in the corner, 
 and now glancing her eye at the drawings upon the 
 slates; thus showing the children that she sympa- 
 thizes with them, and takes an interest in their 
 enjoyments. The children are pleased and happy. 
 The mother is undisturbed. 
 
 She does not let them continue their amusements 
 till they are weary of them. But after they have 
 played perhaps three quarters of an hour, she says, 
 
 " Come, children, you have played long enough ; 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 35 
 
 you may take up all your little blocks and put them 
 away in the drawer." 
 
 <£ 0, mother," says Maria, " do let me play a little 
 while longer, for I have got my house almost done." 
 
 "Well, you may finish it," says the judiciously 
 kind mother, "but tell me as soon as it is done." 
 
 In a few minutes Maria says, "There, mamma, 
 see what a large house I have built." The mother 
 looks at it, and adds a pleasant word of encourage- 
 ment, and then tells them to put all their blocks in 
 the proper place. She tells the children with the 
 slates to hang them up, and to put away their pen- 
 cils ; so that the next day, when slates and blocks are 
 wanted, no time may be lost in searching for them. 
 
 Now, which mother has the most time ; and which 
 mother has the happiest time ? And which mother 
 will find the most comfort in the subsequent char- 
 acter and affection of her children? 
 
 Perhaps some one will say, This is a pleasing 
 picture, but where are we to look for its reality? 
 It is indeed to be regretted that such scenes are of 
 so unfrequent occurrence. But it is far from being 
 true that they do not occur. There are many such 
 families of happy parents and affectionate children. 
 And these families are not confined to the wealthy 
 and the learned. It requires not wealth, and it 
 requires not extensive learning, to train up such a 
 family. The principle of government is simple and 
 plain. It is to begin with enforcing obedience to 
 
36 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 every command ; it is to establish, the principle that 
 a mother's word is never to be disregarded. Every 
 judicious parent will indeed try to gratify her chil- 
 dren in their reasonable wishes. She will study to 
 make them happy ; but she will never allow them 
 to gratify themselves in contradiction to her wishes. 
 ! f To illustrate this, let us refer to the children play- 
 ing with the blocks. The mother tells them to put 
 up the blocks. Maria asks permission to play a 
 few moments longer, till she can finish her house. 
 The mother, desirous of making her children as 
 happy as she can, grants this reasonable wish. Here 
 is a judicious indulgence. But suppose, again, that 
 the children had continued playing without regard 
 to their mother's command. They intend perhaps 
 to continue their amusement only till they complete 
 the pile then in progress. Here is an act of direct 
 disobedience. The children are consulting their 
 own inclinations instead of the commands of their 
 mother. A judicious parent will not allow such an 
 act to pass unnoticed or unpunished. She may 
 perhaps think, considering the circumstances of the 
 case, that a serious reprimand is all that is required. 
 But she will not fail to seize upon the occasion to 
 instil into their minds a lesson of obedience. 
 
 Is it said that by noticing such little things, a 
 mother must be continually finding fault ? But it 
 is not a little tiling for a child to disobey a mother's 
 commands. This one act of disregarding authority 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 37 
 
 prepares the way for another. It is the commence- 
 ment of evil which must he resisted. The very first 
 appearances of insubordination must he checked. 
 There are doubtless cases of trifling faults occur- 
 ring, which a wise parent will judge it expedient 
 to overlook. Children will be thoughtless and inad- 
 vertent. They will occasionally err from strict 
 propriety without any real intention of doing wrong. 
 Judgment is here requisite in deciding what things 
 must be overlooked ; but we may be assured, I think, 
 that direct and open disobedience is not, in any case, 
 to be classed among the number of trifling faults. 
 The eating of an apple banished our first parents 
 from paradise. The atrocity of the offence consisted 
 in its disobedience of a divine command. 
 
 Now, every mother has power to obtain prompt 
 obedience, if she commences with her children when 
 they are young. They are then entirely in her hands. 
 We have endeavored to show, by the preceding illus- 
 trations, that the fundamental principle of govern- 
 ment is, when you do give a command ', invariably 
 enforce its obedience. And God has given every 
 mother the poiver. He has placed in your hands a 
 helpless babe, entirely dependent upon you ; so that 
 if it disobeys you, all you have to do is to cut off its 
 sources of enjoyment, or inflict bodily pain so stead- 
 ily and so invariably, that disobedience and suffer- 
 ing shall be indissolubly connected in the mind of 
 the child. What more poiver can a parent ask for 
 
38 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 than God has already given? And if we fail to 
 use this power for the purposes for which it was 
 bestowed, the sin is ours, and upon us and upon our 
 children must rest the consequences. The exercise 
 of discipline must often "be painful; but if you 
 shrink from duty here, you expose yourself to all 
 that sad train of woes which disobedient children 
 leave behind them. If you cannot summon suffi- 
 cient resolution to deprive of enjoyment and inflict 
 pain when it is necessary, then you must feel that 
 a broken heart and an old age of sorrow will not 
 be unmerited. And when you look upon your dis- 
 solute sons and ungrateful daughters, you must 
 remember that the time was when you might have 
 checked their evil propensities. If you love mo- 
 mentary ease better than your children's welfare 
 and your own permanent happiness, you cannot 
 murmur at the lot you have freely chosen. And 
 when you meet your children at the bar of God, 
 and they point to you and say, "It was through 
 your neglect of duty that we are banished from 
 heaven, and consigned to endless woe," you must 
 feel what no tongue can tell. Ah, it is dreadful for 
 a mother to trifle with duty. Eternal destinies are 
 committed to your trust. The influence you are 
 now exerting will go on unchecked by the grave or 
 the judgment, and will extend onward through those 
 ages to which there is no end. 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 39 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MATERNAL AUTHORITY— CONTINUED . 
 
 Upon the subject of obedience, there are a few 
 other suggestions of importance to be made. 
 
 1. First, then, there is a very great diversity in 
 the natural dispositions of children. Some are very 
 tender in their feelings, and easily governed by affec- 
 tion. Others are naturally independent and self- 
 willed. Sometimes a child gets its passions excited 
 and its will determined, and it cannot be subdued 
 but by a very great effort. Almost every faithful 
 mother is acquainted with such contests, and she 
 knows that they often form a crisis in the character 
 of the child. If the child then obtain the victory, 
 it is almost impossible for the mother afterwards to 
 regain her authority. The child feels that he is 
 the victor, and his mother the vanquished; and it 
 is with very great difficulty that he will be com- 
 pelled to renounce his independence. If, on the. 
 other hand, the mother conquer, and the child is 
 subdued, he feels that the question is settled, and 
 he has but little disposition to resume hostilities 
 with one who has proved herself superior. I have 
 known many such contests, severe and protracted, 
 which were exceedingly painful to a parent's feel- 
 ings. But when once entered upon, they must be 
 
*0 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 continued till the child is subdued. It is not safe, 
 on any account, for the parent to give up and retire 
 vanquished. 
 
 The following instance of such a contest occurred 
 a few years since. A gentleman sitting by his fire- 
 side one evening with his family around him, took 
 the spelling-book and called upon one of his little 
 sons to come and read. John was about four years 
 old. He knew all the letters of the alphabet per- 
 fectly, but happened at that moment to be in rather 
 a sullen humor, and was not at all disposed to grat- 
 ify his father. Very reluctantly he came as he was 
 bid ; but when his father pointed with his knife to 
 the first letter of the alphabet, and said, ''What 
 letter is that, John?" he could get no answer. John 
 looked upon the book, sulky and silent. 
 
 " My son," said the father, pleasantly, "you know 
 the letter A." 
 
 " I cannot say A" said John. 
 
 " You must," said the father, in a serious and 
 decided tone. " What letter is that?" 
 
 John refused to answer, the contest was now 
 fairly commenced. John was wilful, and deter- 
 mined that he would not read. His father knew 
 that it would be ruinous to his son to allow him to 
 'conquer. He felt that he must, at all hazards, sub- 
 due him. He took him into another room, and pun- 
 ished him. He then returned, and again showed 
 John the letter. But John still refused to name it. 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 41 
 
 The father again retired with his son, and punished 
 him more severely. But it was unavailing; the 
 stubborn child still refused to name the letter, and 
 when told that it was A, declared that he could 
 not say A. Again the father inflicted punishment 
 as severely as he dared to do it, and still the child, 
 with his whole frame in agitation, refused to yield, 
 The father was suffering from the most intense 
 solicitude. He regretted exceedingly that he had 
 been drawn into the contest. He had already pun- 
 ished his child with a severity which he feared to 
 exceed. And yet the wilful sufferer stood before 
 him sobbing and trembling, but apparently as un- 
 yielding as a rock. I have often heard that parent 
 mention the acuteness of his feelings at that mo- 
 ment. His heart was bleeding at the pain which 
 he had been compelled to inflict upon his son. He 
 knew that the question was now to be settled, who 
 should be master. And after his son had withstood 
 so long and so much, he greatly feared the result. 
 The mother sat by, suffering of course most acute- 
 ly, but perfectly satisfied that it was their duty to. 
 subdue the child, and that in such a trying hour a 
 mother's feelings must not interfere. With a heavy 
 heart the father again took the hand of his son, to 
 lead him out of the room for further punishment. 
 But to his inconceivable joy, the child shrunk from 
 enduring any more suffering, and cried, " Father, 
 I'll tell the letter." The father, with feelings not 
 
42 THE MOTHER AT HOME 
 
 easily conceived, took the book and pointed to the 
 letter. 
 
 " A" said John, distinctly and fully, 
 
 " And what is that ?" said the father, pointing to 
 the next letter. 
 
 " B," said John. 
 
 " And what is that ?" 
 
 " C," he continued. 
 
 " And what is that?" pointing again to the first 
 letter. 
 
 " A," said the now humbled child. 
 
 " Now carry the book to your mother, and tell 
 her what the letter is." 
 
 "What letter is that, my son?" said the mother. 
 
 "A," said John. He was evidently perfectly 
 subdued. The rest of the children were sitting by, 
 and they saw the contest, and they saw where was 
 the victory. And John learned a lesson which he 
 never forgot — that his father had an arm too strong 
 for him. He learned never again to wage such an 
 unequal 'warfare ; he learned that it was the safest 
 and happiest course for him to obey. 
 
 But perhaps some one says it was cruel to punish 
 the child so severely. Cruel ! It was mercy and 
 love. It would indeed have been cruel had the 
 'father in that hour been unfaithful and shrunk 
 from his painful duty. The passions he was then, 
 with so much self-sacrifice, striving to subdue, if 
 left unchecked, would in all probability have been 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 43 
 
 a curse to their possessor, and have made him a 
 curse to his friends. It is by no means improbable 
 that upon the decisions of that hour depended the 
 character and happiness of that child for life, and 
 even for eternity. It is far from improbable, that 
 had he then conquered, all future efforts to subdue 
 him would have been in vain, and that he would 
 have broken away from all restraint, and have 
 been miserable in life, and lost in death. Cruelty ! 
 The Lord preserve children from the tender mercies, 
 of those who so regard such self-denying kindness. 
 It is always best, if possible, to avoid such collis- 
 ions. Many children are taught implicit obedience, 
 without ever entering into such a contest with their 
 parents. And it is certainly preferable to govern a 
 child by the mild procedure of ordinary discipline, 
 rather than enter into such a formidable conflict, 
 where great severity is often required. Wisdom, 
 therefore, teaches us to guard against giving a child 
 an opportunity of summoning all its energies to 
 disobey. They are peculiar occasions, and peculiar 
 moods of mind, which generally elicit this strength 
 of rebellious feeling. A little foresight will often 
 enable us, without surrender of authority, to calm 
 the rising feeling, instead of exciting it to its utmost 
 strength. We may sometimes, by judicious manage- 
 ment, check the rebellion in its first appearance, 
 before it has gained sufficient strength to call all 
 our power into exercise to put it down. 
 
44 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 As an illustration, let us suppose that James and 
 Mary are playing together in the evening, and 
 James gets vexed and strikes his sister. He has 
 done this without provocation, and ought to be 
 punished, and to ask his sister's forgiveness. But 
 the mother has perceived that, during the whole 
 day, James has manifested a very unpleasant dis- 
 position. He has been irritable and unyielding. 
 She sees that now he is excited and angry. Every 
 parent knows that such variations of feeling are not 
 uncommon. One day a child is pleasant and affec- 
 tionate ; the next every thing seems to go wrong ; 
 little things vex, and the whole disposition seems 
 to be soured. The mother perceives that her son is 
 in this frame of mind. He has done wrong, and 
 ought to ask his sister's forgiveness. But she knows 
 that in this excited and unamiable state of mind, 
 he will be strongly tempted to resist her authority. 
 Unreasonably vexed as he is, it would be one of the 
 hardest acts of submission for him to ask the for- 
 giveness of his sister, If the mother tells him to do 
 so, the temptation to refuse is so strong, that, in 
 all probability, he will decline obeying. She must 
 then punish him. And here comes the contest, 
 which must be continued, if it is commenced, till 
 'the child submits. Now, how is this contest to be 
 avoided? By overlooking the fault? Most cer- 
 tainly not. The mother rises, takes James by the 
 hand, and s'ays, " My son, you have been doing very 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 45 
 
 wrong; you are ill-humored, and must not stay 
 with us any longer ; I will carry you to bed." She 
 accordingly leads him away to his chamber. 
 
 Just before leaving him for the night, she tells 
 him in a kind, but sorrowful tone, how much she is 
 displeased, and how much God must be displeased 
 with his conduct. As usual, she hears him say his 
 prayers, or kneels by the bedside, and prays that 
 God will forgive him. She then leaves him to his 
 own reflections and to sleep. 
 
 He is thus punished for his fault. And as he 
 lies in his bed, and hears his brothers and sisters 
 happy below stairs, he feels how much wiser and 
 better it is to be a good boy. In the morning he 
 awakes. Night has given repose to his excited 
 feelings. He thinks how unhappy his yesterday's 
 misconduct made him, and resolves to be more upon 
 his guard for the future. All his rebellious feelings 
 are quelled by the soothing influence of sleep. His 
 passions are not aroused. The mother can now 
 operate upon his mind without any fear of having 
 a contest with a determined and stubborn will. 
 
 When the children come down in the morning, 
 she calls James and Mary before her. Taking the 
 hand of each, she mildly says, "My son, you made 
 us all unhappy last night by striking your little 
 sister; I hope you are sorry for what you did." 
 "Yes, mother, I am," says James; being led easily 
 now to the feelings of penitence and submission, to 
 
46 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 which, during the moments of irritation and excite- 
 ment, he could not, at least without great difficulty, 
 have heen driven. Thus, by judicious management, 
 the desired object is attained, and perfectly attained, 
 while the contest is avoided. The fault is not over- 
 looked, and James is humbled. But, had the 
 mother, regardless of the child's peculiar state of 
 feeling, commanded him immediately to ask for- 
 giveness of his sister, it would, in all probability, 
 have led to a scene actually painful to both mother 
 and son. And the final effect of the discipline 
 would, perhaps, have been less beneficial upon the 
 mind of the child. But cases will sometimes occur 
 when it is not possible thus to wave the strife. 
 When such an emergency arises, it is the duty of 
 the parent boldly and resolutely to meet it. If, 
 from false feeling, you then shrink, you are recreant 
 to the sacred trust which God has committed to 
 your care. Is it kindness for a mother to let her 
 child die, rather than compel it to take the bitter 
 prescription which is to restore it to health and 
 strength ? And is it kindness to let those passions 
 conquer, which, unsubdued, will be, for time and 
 eternity, a scourge to their possessor ? If there be 
 any cruelty in the world which is truly terrific, it 
 Is the cruelty of a falsely indulgent and unfaithful 
 parent. 
 
 Let it be particularly understood, however, that 
 all we here inculcate is firmness in the discharge of 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 47 
 
 parental duty, in those cases where such collisions 
 between parents and children are unavoidable. 
 They can, however, in most cases, be avoided. If, 
 for instance, a child disobeys you, you can simply 
 punish it for the act of disobedience, and there let 
 the difficulty end. It is not necessary that you 
 should always require that the thing at first com- 
 manded should be done. You direct a little girl to 
 give a book to her sister. She refuses ; and you 
 may take two distinct courses to maintain your 
 violated authority. You may go and take the book 
 yourself and give it to the sister, and then inflict 
 such a punishment upon the disobedient one as the 
 offence deserves. Or, you may insist upon obe- 
 dience ; and to enforce it, enter upon a contest 
 which may be long and painful. Now, whichever 
 of these plans you adopt, be firm and decided in the 
 execution of it. The former is, however, in almost 
 all cases, the wisest and best. 
 
 In the above remarks allusion has been made to 
 the variations of feeling to which children are sub- 
 ject. No one who has had any thing to do with 
 education, can have failed to observe this. Almost 
 every individual is conscious of seasons when he 
 seems to be afflicted with a kind of morbid sensi- 
 tiveness. Our spirits often rise and fall with bodily 
 health ; and he has gained a great victory over his 
 body, and a great triumph of mind, who can inva 
 riably preserve the same calm and cheerful spirit, 
 
48 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 undisturbed by harrassing cares, or the irritations of 
 a diseased frame. The nervous system of some 
 individuals is so delicately constructed, that an east 
 wind, or a damp day, will completely unhinge the 
 mind. When we see some of the wisest and best of 
 men oppressed with these infirmities, we must learn 
 forbearance and sympathy with children. At such 
 times, a judicious mother, knowing that the irrita- 
 bility is as much a bodily as a mental infirmity, 
 will do all in her power to calm and soothe. She 
 will avoid everything calculated to jar the feelings, 
 and will endeavor, by mild amusements or repose, 
 to lull these feelings asleep. By this method she 
 will save the child much unhappiness, and will 
 promote an amiable and sweet disposition. Proba- 
 bly many children have had their feelings perma- 
 nently soured by utter disregard of these variations 
 of mind. The disposition of a child is of too 
 delicate a texture to be handled with a rough and 
 careless grasp. Its affectionate and gentle feelings 
 should be elicited by maternal sympathy and love. 
 And we should endeavor to assuage its occasional 
 irritability, by calling away the mind from objects 
 of unpleasant excitement, and alluring it to cheer- 
 ful contemplations. 
 
 ' It is clear that there is a striking difference in 
 the natural dispositions of children; but nothing 
 can be more evident than that a good disposition 
 may be soured by mismanagement, and that a child 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 49 
 
 of naturally unamiable feelings may, by judicious 
 culture, become mild and lovely. The cultivation 
 of the disposition is an important part of education. 
 Hence the necessity of studying the moods and the 
 feelings of the child, and of varying the discipline 
 to meet these changes. Cases will undoubtedly 
 arise, when the parent will find it difficult to judge 
 what is duty. Such cases will, however, be unfre- 
 quent. The obvious general policy is, when a child 
 is in this excited state, to remove him as much as 
 possible from the power of temptation. And if he 
 commits a fault which it is necessary to notice, let 
 the punishment be of such a kind as is" calculated 
 to soothe him. For instance, give him a comfortable 
 seat by the fire, and tell him that he must not leave 
 the chair for half an hour. Place in his hand some 
 pleasing book, or some plaything which will 'amuse 
 him. In this way let the. punishment be adapted to 
 the peculiarity of the moral disorder. 
 
 This is not the mockery of punishment which it 
 may seem. The child feels it to be real, and it is 
 of a nature to operate beneficially. Some faults, 
 however, he may commit, which, under the circum- 
 stances of the case, it may be inexpedient to notice. 
 He may speak peevishly to his sister. The mother 
 does not appear to notice it ; she, however, sees the 
 importance of immediately allaying this peevish 
 spirit, and she endeavors to plan some amusement 
 which will promote good-humor. Perhaps sh8 lays 
 
 Mother at Home. 4 
 
50 TILE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 down her work and joins the children in their amuse- 
 ments, till, through her happy influence, cheerful- 
 ness and good-humor are restored. 
 
 "Here, my son," perhaps she says, " I should like 
 to have you take your slate, and sit down in your 
 chair, and see if you can draw some animal so cor- 
 rectly that I can tell what it is. And Maria, you 
 may take your slate and chair, and sit by his side, 
 and do the same." 
 
 The children are quite animated with their new 
 play. They are soon busily at work, and whispering 
 together, that their mother may not hear what 
 animals they are drawing. By this simple artifice, 
 the little cloud of irritated feeling which was rising, 
 is entirely dispelled. Had the mother, on the other 
 hand, punished the child for the incidental peevish- 
 ness of remark, the mind would not have been so 
 speedily or so pleasantly brought into its desired 
 state. Or, had the mother taken no notice of the 
 occurrence, the disposition of the child would have 
 been injured by the allowed increase of the ill- 
 humor, and, in all probability, a quarrel might soon 
 have ensued. Constant watchfulness on the part 
 of the mother will soon enable her to foresee many 
 dangers, and prevent many difficulties. 
 
 2. Never punish when the child has not intention- 
 ally done ivrong. Children are often very unjustly 
 punished. Things which are really wrong are over- 
 looked, and again, punishment is inflicted on ac 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY . £J 
 
 count of some accident, when the child is entirely 
 innocent. Such a course of procedure not only 
 destroys, in the mind of the child, the distinction 
 between accident and crime, but is in itself abso- 
 lutely iniquitous. The parent has all the power, 
 and she may be the most relentless tyrant, and the 
 child can have no redress. There is no oppression 
 more cruel than that often thus exercised by pas- 
 sionate parents over their children. It is not unfre- 
 quently the case that a mother, who does not intend 
 to be guilty of injustice, neglects to make a proper 
 distinction between faults and accidents. A child 
 is playing about the room, and accidentally tears 
 its clothes, or breaks a window with the ball which 
 it is allowed to bounce upon the floor. The moth- 
 er, vexed with the trouble it will cause her, hastily 
 punishes the poor child. A child may be careless, 
 and so criminally careless as to deserve punishment. 
 In that case, it ought not to be punished for the 
 accident, but for the carelessness, which is a fault. 
 This injustice is far more extensively practised than 
 is generally imagined. The most common cause of 
 unjust punishment, is confounding the accidental 
 consequences of an act with the real guilt which a 
 child incurred while performing that act. We are 
 all too much inclined to estimate guilt by conse- 
 quences. A child who has been permitted to climb 
 upon the chairs, and take things from the table, 
 accidentally pushes off some valuable article The 
 
52 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 mother severely punishes the child. Now, where 
 did this child do wrong ? You never taught him 
 that he must not climb upon the table. Of course, 
 in that there was no disobedience, and he was not 
 conscious of doing any thing improper. If merely a 
 book had fallen, probably no notice would have been 
 taken of it. But the simple fact that one thing fell 
 instead of another, cannot alter the nature of the 
 offence. If it had been the most valuable watch 
 which had fallen, and thus had been entirely ruined, 
 if it had occurred purely through accident, the 
 child deserves no punishment. Perhaps some one 
 says, there is no need of arguing a point which is so 
 clear. But is it not clear that such acts of injustice 
 are very frequent ? And is not almost every mother 
 conscious that she is not sufficiently guarded upon 
 this point ? A mother must have great control over 
 her own feelings — a calmness and composure of 
 spirit not easily disturbed — or she will be occasion- 
 ally provoked to acts of injustice by the misfortunes 
 of which her children are the innocent cause. 
 
 Does any one ask what should be done in such 
 cases as the one referred to ? The answer is plain. 
 Children ought to be taught not to do what will 
 expose property to injury ; and then, if they do what 
 is thus prohibited, consider them guilty, whether 
 injury results or not. If the child, in the above- 
 named case, had been so taught, this would have 
 been an act of direct disobedience. And a faithful 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 53 
 
 mother would probably pursue some such course as 
 this. Without any manifestation of anger, she 
 would calmly and seriously say to her son, 
 
 " My son, I have often told you that you must not 
 climb upon the table. You have disobeyed me." 
 
 " But, mother," says the son, " I did not mean to 
 do any harm." 
 
 " I presume you did not, my son ; I do not accuse 
 you of doing harm, but of having disobeyed me. 
 The injury was accidental, and you are not account- 
 able for it ; but the disobedience was deliberate, and 
 very wrong." 
 
 " I am very sorry to punish you, but I must do it. 
 It is my duty." 
 
 She would then punish him either by the inflic- 
 tion of pain, or by depriving him for a time of some 
 of his usual privileges or enjoyments. The punish- 
 ment, however, would be inflicted for the disobedi- 
 ence, and not for the accident which attended the 
 disobedience. The child could not but feel that ho 
 was justly condemned. 
 
 But the question still remains, "What is to be donej 
 upon the original supposition that the child had 
 never been taught that it was wrong to climb upon 
 the table, or to throw his ball about the room? In 
 that case, the mother has manifestly no right to 
 blame the child. The fault is hers, in not having 
 previously taught him the impropriety of such con- 
 duct, All she can now do, is to improve the occa 
 
54 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 sion to show him the danger of such amusements, 
 and forbid them in future. 
 
 If the child be very young, the mother will find 
 it necessary occasionally to allude to the accident, 
 that the lesson may be impressed upon the mind. 
 If she did not do this, the occurrence might soon 
 pass from his memory, and in a few days he might 
 again, through entire forgetfulness, be engaged in 
 his forbidden sports. 
 
 Allowance must also be made for the ignoranco 
 of a child. You have perhaps a little daughter 
 eighteen months old, who often amuses herself in 
 tearing to pieces some old newspaper which you 
 give her. It is, to her, quite an interesting experi- 
 ment. Some day you happen to have your atten 
 tion particularly occupied for a length of time, and 
 at last raise your eyes to see what keeps her so quiet 
 upon the floor. Behold, she has a very valuable 
 book in her hand, which she has almost entirely 
 ruined ; and your first impulse is to punish her, or 
 at least, severely to reprove her for the injury. But 
 has she really been doing any thing deserving of 
 punishment or censure? Certainly not. How can 
 she know that it is proper for her to tear one piece 
 of paper, but wrong for her to tear another? She 
 'has been as innocently employed as she ever was 
 in her life. The only proper thing to be done, in 
 such a case, is to endeavor to teach the child that 
 a book must be handled with care, and must not be 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 55 
 
 *orn. But how can she be taught this without pun- 
 ishing her ? She may he taught by the serious tone 
 of your voice, and the sad expression of your coun- 
 tenance, that she has been doing something which 
 you regret. In this way, she may be easily taught 
 the difference between a book and a newspaper. 
 
 A little boy about two years old was in the habit 
 of amusing himself by scribbling upon paper with 
 a pencil. The father came into the room one day, 
 and found that the little fellow had exceedingly 
 defaced a new book. The marks of his pencil were 
 all over it. Perfectly unconscious of the mischief 
 he was doing, the child continued his employment 
 as the father entered. In many cases the parent, 
 in irritation would have roughly taken the book 
 away, and inflicted a severe blow upon the cheek of 
 the child. I thought I perceived that this was the 
 first emotion in the mind of this parent, though he 
 was of an unusually calm and collected spirit. If 
 it was, however, he immediately saw its impropri- 
 ety; for approaching his child, he said, in a per- 
 fectly mild and pleasant tone, 
 
 " 0, my son, my son, you are spoiling the book." 
 
 The child looked up in amazement. 
 
 " That is a book, my son ; you must not scribble 
 upon that. See here," turning over the leaves, 
 "you will spoil father's book. Here is some paper 
 for you. You may write upon this, but you never 
 must write in the book." 
 
56 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 The father then took the book, injured as it was, 
 and laid it aside without any exhibition of excited 
 feeling. Now, how manifestly is this the proper 
 course to pursue in such a case ; and yet how few 
 children are there who, in such circumstances, 
 would have escaped undeserved punishment. 
 
 These illustrations are sufficient to show the im- 
 portance of making allowance for ignorance and 
 for accidents. And they also show how frequently 
 children suffer when they are not to blame. If a 
 child is punished when innocent as well as when 
 guilty, the distinction between right and wrong is 
 obliterated from his mind. Hence it becomes an 
 important rule in family government, never to 
 punish when the child has not intentionally done 
 wrong. 
 
 3. Never think that your child is too young to 
 obey. We are ingenious in framing excuses for neg- 
 lecting our duty with our children. At one time, 
 they are too young ; again, they are too sick. Some 
 parents always find an excuse, of one kind or an- 
 other, for letting their children have their own way. 
 A child may at a very early age be taught obedi- 
 ence. We can easily teach a kitten, or little dog, 
 that it must not touch the meat which is placed 
 'before the fire, that it must leave the room when 
 bidden, and a thousand other acts of ready obedi- 
 ence. 
 
 A Frenchman has recently collected a large num« 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 57 
 
 ber of Canary-birds for a show. He has taught 
 them such implicit obedience to his voice, as to 
 march them in platoons across the room, and directs 
 them to the ready performance of many simple 
 manoeuvres. 
 
 Now, can it be admitted that a child fifteen 
 months, or two years of age, is inferior in under- 
 standing to a Canary-bird ? And must the excuse 
 be made for such a child, that he does not know 
 enough to be taught obedience? A very judicious 
 mother who has brought up a large family of chil- 
 dren, all of whom are now in situations of respect- 
 ability and usefulness, remarked that it was her 
 practice to obey her children for the first year of 
 their life, but ever after she expected them to obey 
 her. She of course did not mean by this remark, 
 that the moment the child was one year of age a 
 sudden and .total change took place in her manage- 
 ment. During the early months of its infancy, she 
 considered it to be her duty to do every thing in her 
 power to make the child comfortable and happy. 
 She would endeavor to anticipate all its wants. 
 She would be obedient to the wishes of the child. 
 But by the time the child was one year of age, she 
 considered it old enough to be brought under the 
 salutary regulations of a well- disciplined family. 
 
 I am aware that many parents will say, that this 
 is altogether too early a period to commence the 
 government of a child ; and others equally numer- 
 
58 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ous, perhaps, will say that it is too late — that a 
 beginning should be made at a much earlier period. 
 In fact, the principle which really ought to guide 
 in such a case, is this, that the authority of th6 
 mother ought to be established over the child as 
 soon as it is able to understand a command or pro- 
 hibition expressed by looks and gestures. This is 
 at a much earlier period than most parents imagine. 
 Let the mother who doubts it try the experiment, 
 and see how easily she can teach her child that he 
 must not touch the tongs or andirons; or that, 
 when sitting in her lap at table, he must not touch 
 the cups and saucers. A child may be taught obe- 
 dience in such things then, as well as at any period 
 of its life. And how much trouble does a mother 
 save herself, by having her child thus early taught 
 to obey. How much pain and sorrow does she save 
 her child by accustoming it, in its most tender years, 
 to habits of prompt obedience. 
 
 4. Guard against too much severity. By pursu- 
 ing a steady course of efficient government, severity 
 will very seldom be found necessary. If, when 
 punishment is inflicted, it is done with composure 
 and with solemnity, occasions for punishment will 
 be very unfrequent. Let a mother ever be affec- 
 tionate and mild with her children. Let her sym- 
 pathize with them in their little sports. Let her 
 gain their confidence by her assiduous efforts to 
 make them happy. And let her feel, when they 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 59 
 
 have done wrong, not irritated, but sad; and punish 
 them in sorrow, but not in anger. Fear is a useful 
 and a necessary principle in family government. 
 Grod makes use of it in governing his creatures. 
 But it is ruinous to the disposition of a child exclu- 
 sively to control him by this motive. How unhappy 
 must be that family where the parent always sits 
 with a face deformed with scowls, and where the 
 voice is always uttered in tones of severity and 
 command! Such parents we do see. Their chil- 
 dren fear them. They are always under restraint 
 in their presence; and home becomes to them an 
 irksome prison, instead of the happy retreat of 
 peace, and joy. But where the mother greets her 
 children with smiles, and rewards their efforts to 
 please her with caresses, and addresses them in 
 tones of mildness and affection, she is touching those 
 chords in the human heart which vibrate in sweet 
 harmony — she is calling into action the noblest and 
 the loveliest principles of our nature. And thus 
 does she prepare the way for every painful act of 
 discipline to come with effectual power upon the 
 heart. The children know that she does not love 
 to punish. In all cases in which it can be done, 
 children should thus be governed by kindness. But 
 when kindness fails, and disobedience ensues, let 
 not the mother hesitate for a moment to fall back 
 upon her last resort, and punish as severely as is 
 necessary. A few such cases will teach almost any 
 
60 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 child how much better it is to be obedient than 
 disobedient. 
 
 By being thus consistent and decided in govern- 
 ment, and commencing with the infancy of each 
 child, in all ordinary cases great severity may be 
 avoided. And it is never proper for a parent to be 
 harsh and unfeeling and forbidding, in her inter- 
 course with her children. The most efficient family 
 government may be almost entirely administered by 
 affection, if it be distinctly understood that disobe- 
 dience cannot pass unpunished. I cannot but pity 
 those unhappy children who dare not come to their 
 parents in confidence and love ; who are continually 
 fearing stern looks and harsh words ; and who are 
 consequently ever desirous to get away from home, 
 that they may enjoy themselves. Every effort 
 should be made to make home the most desirable 
 place; to gather around it associations of delight," 
 and thus to form in the mind of your child an 
 attachment for peaceful and purifying enjoyments. 
 This will most strongly fortify his mind against vice. 
 And when he leaves the paternal roof, he will ever 
 look back with fond recollections to its joys, and 
 with gratitude to those who made it the abode of 
 so much happiness. In future years, too, when your 
 children become the heads of families, they will 
 transmit to their children the principles which you 
 have implanted. Thus may the influence of your 
 instructions extend to thousands yet unborn. 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 61 
 
 How little do we think of the tremendous respon- 
 sibilities which are resting upon us ; and of the 
 wide influence, either for good or for evil, which 
 we are exerting. We are setting in operation a 
 train of causes which will go down through all 
 coming time. Long after we have gone to our eter- 
 nal home, our words and our actions will be aiding 
 in the formation of character. We cannot then 
 arrest the causes which our lives have set in prog- 
 ress, and they will go on elevating immortals to 
 virtue and to heaven, or urging them onward ha 
 passion and sin and woe. 
 
62 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 The remarks which have already been made are 
 so obvious, that one is led to inquire, "Why is family 
 government generally so defective ? Why do so few 
 succeed in obtaining prompt obedience ? There are 
 many causes operating to produce this result. The 
 rules of discipline may be simple and plain, and yet 
 many motives may influence us to shrink from en- 
 forcing them. 
 
 1. One great obstacle is the ivant of self control on 
 the part of parents. How few persons are there 
 who have gained that conquest over self, which 
 enables them to meet the various vicissitudes of life 
 with calmness and composure. How few are there 
 who are not, occasionally at least, thrown off their 
 guard, and provoked to the exhibition of excited 
 and irritated feeling. And can a mother expect to 
 govern her child when she cannot govern herself? 
 Family government must most emphatically begin 
 at home. It must begin in the bosom of the parent. 
 She must learn to control herself, to subdue her 
 own passions ; she must set her children an example 
 of meekness and of equanimity, or she must reason- 
 ably expect that all her efforts to control their 
 passions will be ineffectual. A child gets irritated 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 63 
 
 and strikes his sister ; and the mother gets irritated 
 and whips the child. Now, both mother and child 
 have been guilty of precisely the same crime. They 
 have both been angry, and both in anger have struck 
 another. And what is the effect of this sinful pun- 
 ishment ? It may make the child afraid to strike 
 his sister again ; but will it teach that child that 
 he has done wrong — that it is wicked to be angry 1 
 Can it have any salutary effect upon his heart ? 
 He sees that his mother is irritated, and thus is he 
 taught that it is proper for him to be angry. He 
 sees that when his mother is irritated she strikes; 
 and thus is he taught that the same course is proper 
 for him. The direct effect of the punishment is to 
 feed the flame and strengthen the inveteracy of 
 passion. In such a course as this there is no moral 
 instruction, and no salutary discipline. And yet a 
 mother who has not conquered self, who cannot 
 restrain the violence of her own passions, will often 
 thus punish. When we see such a mother with 
 passionate and turbulent children, no second ques- 
 tion need be asked why they are not gentle and obe- 
 dient. And when we reflect how very seldom it is 
 that we see an individual who may not be occasion- 
 ally provoked to act from the irritation of the mo- 
 ment, we cannot wonder that the family so often 
 presents a scene of uproar and misrule. 
 
 This self-control at all times, and under all cir- 
 cumstances, is one of the most important and most 
 
64 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 difficult things to be acquired. Many parents have 
 from infancy been unaccustomed to restraint, and 
 they find a very great struggle to be necessary to 
 smother those feelings which will sometimes rise 
 •almost involuntarily. But we should ever remem- 
 ber that this must be done, or we cannot be faithful 
 to our children. "We must bring our own feelings 
 and our own actions under a system of rigid disci- 
 pline, or it will be in vain for us to hope to curb 
 the passions and restrain the conduct of those who 
 are looking to us for instruction and example. 
 There will many cases occur which will exceedingly 
 try a mother's patience. Unless naturally blest 
 with a peculiarly quiet spirit, or habituated from 
 early life to habits of self-government, she will find 
 that she has very much to do with her own heart. 
 This point we would most earnestly urge, for it is 
 of fundamental importance. Anger is temporary 
 insanity. And what can be more deplorable than 
 to see a mother, in the paroxysm of irritation, taking 
 vengeance on her child ? Let a mother feel grieved, 
 and manifest her grief when her child does wrong ; 
 let her, with calmness and reflection, use the disci- 
 pline which the case requires ; but never let her 
 manifest irritated feeling, or give utterance to an 
 angry expression. If her own mind is thus kept 
 serene and unimpassioned, she will instruct by 
 example as well as precept. She will easily know, 
 and more judiciously perform her duty. And the 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 65 
 
 superiority of her own conduct will command the 
 respect and the admiration of her children. And 
 until this is done, it will be impossible for a mother 
 to enforce the rules of discipline, simple and obvious 
 as those rules are. 
 
 2. Another great obstacle in the way is the want 
 of resolution. It is always painful to a parent's 
 feelings to deprive a child of any reasonable enjoy- 
 ment, or to inflict pain. Hence we are ingenious 
 in framing apologies to relieve ourselves from this 
 duty. Your child does wrong, and you know that 
 he ought to be punished ; but you shrink from the 
 duty of inflicting it. Now, of what avail is it to be 
 acquainted with the rules of discipline, if we cannot 
 summon resolution to enforce those rules ? It will 
 do no good to read one book and another upon the 
 subject of education, unless we are willing, with 
 calm and steady decision, to punish our children 
 when the occasion requires. It is this weak indul- 
 gence, this wicked refusal to perform painful duty, 
 which has ruined thousands of families. A mother 
 will sometimes openly remonstrate with a father for 
 punishing a stubborn child. She will call him cruel 
 and unfeeling, and confirm her child in his wilful- 
 ness, by her wicked sympathy and caresses. 
 
 What can be expected from such a course as 
 this ? Such a mother is the most cruel and merci- 
 less enemy which her child can have. Under such 
 an influence he will probably grow up in wretched- 
 ly other at Home. . o 
 
66 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ness, not only to curse the day in which he was 
 born, but to heap still bitterer curses upon the moth' 
 er who bore him. You can do nothing more ruinous 
 to your child ; you can do nothing which will more 
 effectually teach him to hate and despise you ; you 
 can do nothing which will, with more certainty, 
 bring you in sorrow and disgrace to the grave, than 
 thus to allow maternal feelings to influence you to 
 neglect painful but necessary acts of discipline. 
 
 I would ask the mother who reads this book, if 
 Bhe has not often been conscious of a struggle be- 
 tween the sense of duty and inclination. Duty has 
 told you to punish your child. Inclination has 
 urged you to overlook its disobedience. Inclination 
 has triumphed ; and your child has retired victorious, 
 and of course confirmed in his sin. Be assured that 
 thus in your own heart lies one of the greatest 
 obstacles to your success ; and until this obstacle 
 be surmounted, every thing else will be unavailing. 
 It would by no means be difficult to fill this volume 
 with cases illustrative of this fact, and of the awful 
 consequences resulting. 
 
 A few years since, a lady was left a widow, with 
 several little sons. She loved them most devotedly. 
 The affliction which she had experienced in the loss 
 of her husband, fixed her affections with more in- 
 tensity of ardor and sensitiveness upon her children. 
 They were her only hope. Sad and joyless as she 
 was, she could not endure to punish them, or to 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 67 
 
 deprive them of a single indulgence. Unhappy 
 and misguided woman ! Could she expect to escape 
 the consequences of such a course ? She was living 
 upon the delusive hope that her indulgences would 
 insure their love. And now one of these sons is 
 seventeen years of age, a stout and turbulent and 
 self-willed "boy. He is altogether beyond the influ- 
 ence of maternal restraint. He is the tyrant of the 
 family, and his afflicted mother is almost entirely 
 broken-hearted by this accumulation- of sorrow, 
 The rest of the children are coming on in the same 
 path. She sees and trembles in view of the ca- 
 lamity which it is now too late to avert. It would 
 be far happier for her to be childless, as well as a 
 widow. Her children are her oppressors. She k> 
 their slave. It is impossible now to retrace her 
 steps, or to retrieve the injury she has done her 
 children and herself. Hardly any .situation can 
 be conceived more truly pitiable. And what has 
 caused this magnitude of sorrow? Simply the 
 mother's reluctance to do her duty. She looked 
 upon her poor fatherless children with all the tender 
 emotions of a widowed mother, and could not bear 
 to throw around them necessary restraint, and insist 
 upon obedience to her commands. She knew per- 
 fectly well, that when they were disobedient, they 
 ought to be punished — that it was hf*r duty to 
 enforce her authority. It was not hei ignorance 
 which caused this dreadful wreck of happiness ; it 
 
68 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 was the want of resolution — that fond and foolish 
 and cruel tenderness, which induced her to consult 
 her own feelings rather than the permanent welfare 
 of her children. 
 
 The reader will, perhaps, inquire whether this 
 statement is a true account of a real case. It is a 
 true account of a thousand cases all over our land. 
 Mothers, we appeal to your observation, if you do 
 not see, everywhere around you, these wrecks of 
 earthly hopes. Have we not warnings enough to 
 avoid this fatal rock ? And yet, it is the testimony 
 of all who have moved about the world with an 
 observing eye, that this parental irresolution is one 
 of the most prominent causes of domestic afflictions. 
 
 There must be energy of character, or acts of 
 discipline will be so inefficient as to do more harm 
 than good. The spirit will be irritated, but not 
 subdued. Punishment becomes a petty vexation, 
 and its influence is most decidedly pernicious. It 
 is of the utmost importance, that when it is inflicted, 
 it should be serious and effectual. And it is certain 
 that the mother who adopts prompt and decisive 
 measures, will go forward with far less trouble to 
 herself and her child, and will on the whole inflict 
 far less pain than the one who adopts the feeble and 
 dilatory measures which we so often see. While the 
 one must be continually threatening, and inflicting 
 that mockery of punishment which is just enough to 
 irritate the temper and spoil the disposition; the 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 69 
 
 other will usually find her word promptly obeyed, and 
 will very seldom find it necessary to punish at all. 
 
 But few persons have obtained a more correct 
 knowledge of human nature than Bonaparte; and 
 but few have ever acquired such a control over the 
 human mind. It is said that there was once a 
 formidable mob rioting in the streets of Paris, and 
 carrying devastation wherever they went. One of 
 his generals was sent out with a body of infantry to 
 disperse the mob. He read the riot act. They 
 laughed at it. He threatened to fire upon them. 
 They defied him. He opened upon them a fire 
 with blank cartridges. As volley after volley was 
 discharged, and not a man fell, the mob laughed to 
 scorn their impotent efforts. At last the general 
 was compelled to load with ball. But by4;his time 
 the passions of the mob were so excited, and they 
 had become so familiar with the harmless discharge 
 of musketry, that they stood firm when the ball 
 came. They were gradually prepared for it. A 
 pitched battle was the result ; and it was not till 
 after an immense massacre that the infuriated popu- 
 lace were dispersed. 
 
 At another time, when the ravages of a Parisian 
 mob were scattering terror through the city, Bona- 
 parte led on at a quick step several companies of 
 artillery. Immediately upon arriving at the scene 
 of devastation, the soldiers, retiring to the right and 
 left, opened upon the riotous multitude the formida- 
 
70 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ble cannon. Not a word was said ; not a moment 
 of hesitation intervened ; but at once the voice of 
 Bonaparte was heard in the thunders of the artil- 
 lery, and the compact mass of the multitude was 
 ploughed through by the cannon-ball. The mob, 
 unprepared for such decisive measures, and terrified 
 at the havoc, fled with the utmost precipitancy in 
 every direction. Then did he pour in his blank 
 cartridges. Peal after peal thundered through 
 the streets, a ding to the consternation of the af- 
 frighted multitude, and in less than five minutes 
 scarce a solitary straggler was to be seen. Such 
 were the measures which this extraordinary man 
 adopted, and which gave him an ascendency over 
 the public mind almost unparalleled in the history of 
 man. Some one afterwards suggested to him that it 
 might have been more merciful, if he had first tried 
 the effect of blank charges, and then, if necessary, 
 had proceeded to extremities. But he very justly 
 replied, that by such tardy measures the mob would 
 have had time to collect their courage, and many 
 more would have fallen before they would have 
 fled. The principle illustrated in this anecdote is 
 of universal application. Real benevolence prompt? 
 to decisive measures. The mother who first coaxes, 
 then threatens, then pretends to punish, then pun- 
 ishes a little, is only making trouble for herself 
 and sorrow for her family. But on the other hand, 
 if she meets acts of disobedience promptly and with 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 71 
 
 firmness, and inflicts necessary punishment de- 
 cidedly and at once, she is, in the most effectual 
 way, promoting her own happiness and the "best 
 welfare of her child. 
 
 A parent is much more prone to be thus fatally 
 indulgent, if a child is of a feeble and sickly consti- 
 tution. Such children are very generally spoiled. 
 How strange, when G-od, in his mysterious provi- 
 dence, lays his hand upon some little one, and causes 
 it to languish in weakness and in suffering, that the 
 parent on that very account should neglect that 
 child's welfare, and allow its passions to grow un- 
 checked, its will to be stubborn and unsubdued. 
 The mother perhaps is willing to do her duty with 
 her more robust son. She will do all in her power 
 to control his passions, and make him a good and 
 happy boy. But the poor little sufferer she will 
 indulge in all its caprices, till passion is strong, and 
 irritability is unconquerable, and the deeper sorrows 
 of the mind are thus added to the pains and weak- 
 ness of the body. how much cruelty there is in 
 the world which goes by the false name of tender- 
 ness or love ! Mother, have you a sick and suffering 
 child? You are to that child a guardian angel, if 
 with mild and affectionate decision you enforce your 
 authority. Punish that child if it be necessary to 
 teach him habitually and promptly to obey. If you 
 do not do this, you are the -bitterest enemy your 
 child can have. You are doing that which has the 
 
72 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 most direct tendency to perpetuate its feebleness 
 and to promote its misery. And yet I know that 
 some mothers will still say, " What, speak authori- 
 tatively, and even punish a poor little child when 
 sick ? How unfeeling !" There, there is the diffi- 
 culty. Unkind, to do all in your power to make 
 your child patient and happy ! A little girl, we will 
 suppose, cuts deeply her hand. Her mother is so 
 kind that she will not let a physician be called, for 
 fear he should hurt her daughter in probing and 
 dressing the wound. Day after day this kind 
 mother beholds the increasing and extending in- 
 flammation. She strives in her ignorance to assuage 
 the agony of the wound, till, after many days of 
 excruciating suffering, the physician is called to save 
 her daughter's life by amputating the limb. When 
 the accident first occurred, a few moments of atten- 
 tion and trifling pain would have prevented all 
 these dreadful consequences. 
 
 But the conduct of that mother is far more cruel, 
 who will allow the mind's inflammation to increase 
 and extend unchecked; who, rather than inflict the 
 momentary pain which is necessary to subdue the 
 stubborn will, and allay irritation, will allow the 
 moral disorder to gain such strength as to be incura- 
 ble. The consequences thus resulting are far more 
 disastrous. They affect man's immortal nature, 
 and go. on through eternity. There is no cruelty so 
 destructive as this. 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 73 
 
 Yet let it not be supposed that austerity is recom- 
 mended. This is unnecessary, and is always to "be 
 avoided. Let the tones of the voice be affectionate 
 and soothing. Let the mother sympathize with her 
 whole heart in the trials and sufferings of her child. 
 Let her be ingenious in devices for its amusement. 
 But let her not'ruinher precious treasure by indulg- 
 ing it in peevishness or disobedience. Your child 
 cannot possibly be happy, unless taught to subdue 
 his passions and to be obedient to your will. We 
 would have kindness and gentleness and love ever 
 diffusing joy through the family circle. But if you 
 would see your children happy, and be happy your- 
 self, you must, when your children are in sickness, 
 as well as when they are in health, summon suffi- 
 cient resolution to insure propriety of behavior and 
 obedience to your commands. 
 
 Be firm then in doing your duty invariably. Nev- 
 er refrain from governing your child because it is 
 painful to maternal feelings. It is certainly wisely 
 ordered by Providence that it should be painful to 
 a parent's heart to inflict suffering upon a child. 
 He who can punish without sympathy, without emo- 
 tions of sorrow, cannot punish with a right spirit. 
 Even our Father in heaven does not willingly afflict 
 his children. But does he on that account with- 
 hold his discipline, and allow us to go on in sin 
 unpunished? We must, in earnest prayer, look to 
 him for strength and wisdom, and religiously do our 
 
74 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 duty. We must be willing to have our own hearts 
 bleed, if we can thus save our children from the 
 ravages of those passions which, unchecked, will 
 ruin their usefulness and peace. 
 
 A child, a short time since, was taken sick with 
 that dangerous disorder, the croup. It was a child 
 most ardently beloved, and ordinarily very obedient. 
 But in this state of uneasiness and pain he refused 
 to take the medicine which it was needful without 
 delay to administer. The father finding him reso- 
 lute, immediately punished his sick and suffering 
 son. Under these circumstances, and fearing that 
 his son might soon die, it must have been a most 
 severe trial to the father. But the consequence was, 
 that the child was taught that sickness was no ex- 
 cuse for disobedience. And while his sickness con- 
 tinued, he promptly took whatever medicine was 
 prescribed, and was patient and submissive. Soon 
 the child was well. Does any one say this was 
 cruel ? It was one of the noblest acts of kindness 
 which could have been performed. If the father 
 had shrunk from duty here, it is by no means im- 
 probable that the life of the child would have been 
 the forfeit. And this is the way to acquire strength 
 of resolution, by practising strength of resolution 
 > in every case. We must readily and promptly do 
 our duty, be it ever so painful. 
 
 3. Another great obstacle in the way of training 
 up a happy and virtuous family, is the occasio?tal 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. -75 
 
 want of harmony between parents, on the subject of 
 education. Sometimes, when a father is anxious to 
 do his duty, the mother is a weak and foolish 
 woman, who thinks that every punishment and 
 deprivation of indulgence is cruelty to her children. 
 And when any one of them is punished, she will, 
 by her caresses, do away the effect of the discipline 
 and convey to the mind of the child the impression 
 that his father is cruel and unjust. A man who 
 has formed so unhappy a connection is indeed in 
 a deplorable condition. And if his wife is incapa- 
 ble of being convinced of the ruinous consequences 
 of such a course, he must take upon himself the 
 whole duty of government. But as I am not now 
 writing to fathers, I must turn from this case to 
 another. 
 
 It not unfrequently happens that a judicious and 
 faithful mother is connected with a husband whose 
 principles and example are any thing but what she 
 could desire. In such cases, not only does the 
 whole government of the family devolve upon the 
 mother, but the influence of the father is such as 
 in a great degree to counteract all her exertions. 
 This is indeed a trying situation. It is, however, 
 far from being a hopeless one. You must not give 
 up in despair, but let the emergencies of the case 
 rouse you to more constant watchfulness, and more 
 persevering and vigorous effort. If a wife be judi- 
 cious and consistent in her exertions, a father, in 
 
76 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 almost all cases, will soon feel confidence in hex 
 management of her family, and will very gladly 
 allow her to bear all the burden of taking care of 
 the children. Such a father is almost necessa- 
 rily much of the time absent from home, and when 
 at home, is not often in a mood to enjoy the 
 society of his family. Let such a mother teach her 
 children to be quiet and still when their father is 
 present. Let her make every effort to accustom 
 them to habits of industry. And let her do every 
 thing in her power to induce them to be respectful 
 and obedient and affectionate to their father. This 
 course is indeed the best which can be adopted to 
 reclaim the unhappy parent. The more cheerful 
 you can make home to him, the stronger are the 
 inducements which are presented to draw him away 
 from scenes into which he ought not to enter. 
 
 It is true there is no situation more difficult than 
 the one we are now describing. But that even 
 these difficulties are not insurmountable, facts have 
 not unfrequently proved. Many cases occur, in 
 which the mother triumphantly surmounts them all, 
 and rears up a virtuous and happy family. Her 
 husband is most brutally intemperate ; and I need 
 not here depict the scenes through which such a 
 mother is called to pass. She sees, however, that 
 the welfare of the family is dependent upon her, and 
 accordingly nerves her heart resolutely to meet 
 her responsibilities. She commences in the earliest 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 77 
 
 infancy of her children, teaching them implicit obe- 
 dience. She binds them to her with those ties from 
 which they never would be able or desirous to break. 
 The most abundant success rewards her efforts. 
 The older her children grow, the more respectful 
 and attentive they become, for the more clearly 
 they see that they are indebted to their mother for 
 salvation from their father's disgrace and woe. 
 Every sorrow of such a mother is alleviated by the 
 sympathy and affection of her sons. She looks 
 around upon them with feelings of maternal grati- 
 fication which no language can describe. They 
 feel the worth and the dignity of her character. 
 Though her situation in life may be humble, and 
 though her mind may not be stored with knowledge, 
 her moral worth and her judicious government 
 command their reverence. 
 
 In a family of this sort, in a neighboring state, 
 one cold December night, the mother was sitting 
 alone by the fire, between the hours of nine and ten, 
 waiting for the return of her absent husband. Her 
 sons, fatigued with the labors of the day, had all 
 retired to rest. A little before ten, her husband 
 came in from the neighboring store, where he had 
 passed the evening with his degraded associates. 
 He insisted upon calling up the boys at that unsea- 
 sonable hour, to send into the wood-lot for a load 
 of wood. Though there was an ample supply of 
 fuel at the house, he would not listen to reason, but 
 
78 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 stamped and swore that the hoys should go. The 
 mother, finding it utterly in vain to oppose his 
 wishes, called her sons, and told them that their 
 father insisted upon their going with the team to 
 the wood-lot. She spoke to them kindly ; told them 
 she was sorry they must go ; but, said she, " Remem- 
 ber that he is your father." Her sons were full- 
 grown young men. But at their mother's voice 
 they immediately rose, and, without a murmur, 
 brought out the oxen, andwent to the woods. They 
 had perfect confidence in her judgment and her 
 management. While they were absent, their moth- 
 er was busy in preparing an inviting supper for 
 them upon their return. The drunken father soon 
 retired. About midnight the sons finished their 
 task, and entering the house, found their mother 
 ready to receive them with cheerfulness and smiles. 
 A bright fire was blazing on the hearth. The 
 room was warm and pleasant. With keen appe- 
 tites and that cheerfulness of spirits which gene- 
 rally accompanies the performance of duty, those 
 children sat down with their much-loved parent to 
 the repast she had provided, and soon after all 
 were reposing in the quietude and the silence of 
 sleep. 
 
 Many a mother has thus been the guardian and 
 the savior of her family. She has brought up her 
 sons to industry, and her daughters to virtue. And 
 in her old age she has reaped a rich reward for all 
 
THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 79 
 
 her toil, in the affections and the attentions of her 
 grateful children. She has struggled in tears and 
 discouragement, for many weary years, till at last 
 God has dispelled all the gloom, and filled her heart 
 with joy in witnessing the blessed results of hex 
 fidelity. Be not, therefore, desponding. That which 
 has once been done, may be done again. 
 
 From what has been said in this chapter, it ap- 
 pears that self-control and resolution are the two all- 
 important requisites in family government. With 
 these two qualifications, which a person is inexcus- 
 able in not possessing, almost every other obstacle 
 may be surmounted. Without these, your toil and 
 solicitude will, in all probability, be in vain. 
 
 Your faithful exertions, attended with God's or- 
 dinary blessing, will open to you daily new sources 
 of enjoyment in the unfolding virtues and expand- 
 ing faculties of your children. Your decisive gov- 
 ernment will, most undoubtedly, be rewarded with 
 the affection and respect of those whom you are 
 training up to usefulness and happiness. Arid when 
 old age comes, your children will welcome you to 
 their homes, and rejoice to give you a seat by their 
 fireside, and by unremitted attentions will do all in 
 their power to prove how deeply they feel that debt 
 of gratitude which never can be fully repaid. Such 
 joys will obliterate the remembrance of all present 
 toils and sorrows. Let these hopes cheer you to go 
 on rejoicing in the path of duty. 
 
gO THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 FAULTS AND ERRORS 
 
 There are many faults in family government 
 which have been handed down from generation to 
 generation, and have become almost universally 
 diffused. They are so general, and we have been 
 so long accustomed to them, that their glaring im- 
 propriety escapes our notice. The increasing inter- 
 est now felt in the subject -of education, by leading 
 parents to read and to think, has taught many to 
 avoid those errors which still very generally pre- 
 vail. There are many parents who have not facili- 
 ties for obtaining books on this subject, and who 
 have not been led to reflect very deeply upon their 
 responsibilities. Some of these errors are such, 
 that an apology seems almost necessary for caution- 
 ing mothers against them, since common-sense so 
 plainly condemns them. But let it be remembered, 
 how large a portion of the mothers of our land are, 
 by their situation, deprived of those sources of in 
 formation and excitements to thought, whch God 
 has conferred upon others. 
 
 1. Do not talk about children in their 'presence, 
 We are very apt to think that children do not un- 
 derstand what we say to one another, because they 
 are unable to join in the conversation themselves 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 81 
 
 But a child's comprehension of language is far in 
 advance of his ability to use it. I have been much 
 surprised at the result of experiments upon this 
 subject. A«little child creeping upon the floor, and 
 who could not articulate a single word, was re- 
 quested to carry a piece of paper across the room 
 and put it in a chair. The child perfectly compre- 
 hended the direction, and crept across the room, 
 and did as he was bidden. An experiment or two 
 of this kind will satisfy any one how far a child's 
 mind is in advance of his power to express his ideas. 
 And yet, when a child is three or four years old, 
 parents will relate in their presence shrewd things 
 which they have said and done ; sometimes even 
 their acts of disobedience will be mentioned with 
 a smile. The following conversation once passed 
 between a lady and a mother, whose child, three 
 years of age, was standing by her side. 
 
 "How does little Charles do?" said the lady. 
 
 "0," replied the mother, with a smile, "he is 
 pretty well, but he is the greatest rogue you ever 
 saw; I can do nothing with him." 
 
 "Why?" said the lady; "he does not look like a 
 stubborn child." 
 
 "No," the mother replied, he has not a bad dis- 
 position, but," she continued, smiling, "he is so 
 fond of mischief that I can never make him mind 
 me. He knows that he must not touch the andirons, 
 but just before you came in he went and put one of 
 
 Mother at Home. 6 
 
82 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 his fingers on the brass, and looked me directly in 
 the face. I told him he must take off his hand ; 
 and he put another finger on. I tried to look cross 
 at him ; hut he, instead of stopping* rubbed his 
 whole hand over the brass, and then ran away, 
 laughing as heartily as he could. He did it, I 
 suppose, on purpose to plague me, he is such a 
 rogue." 
 
 We insert this rather undignified story, that the 
 mothers who may read this chapter may know 
 exactly what we mean by the caution we are urging. 
 Now, to say nothing of that maternal unfaithfulness 
 which would permit such acts of disobedience, how 
 ruinous upon the mind of the child must be the 
 effect of hearing his conduct thus spoken of and 
 applauded. This perverse little fellow was more 
 interested in the narration than either mother or 
 visitor, and the impression produced upon his mind 
 was stronger. The child was taught a lesson of 
 disobedience, not soon to be forgotten. 
 
 There are many little artifices which a child will 
 practise, which are decidedly to be discountenanced, 
 but at which a parent can scarce refrain from smil- 
 ing. These proofs of mental quickness and ingenuity 
 are gratifying to parental feelings. They give 
 promise of a mind susceptible of a high degree of 
 cultivation, if properly guided and restrained. And 
 there are playful and affectionate feats of childhood 
 which are pleasing on every account. They show 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 83 
 
 good feelings, as well as an active intellect. Parents 
 will speak to one another of those innumerable 
 little occurrences which are daily gratifying them. 
 But if these things are mentioned in the presence 
 of the child, and applauded, its little heart is puffed 
 up with vanity. How slight a degree of flattery 
 will often awaken emotions of the most disgusting 
 self-conceit, even in individuals of mature minds. 
 How few persons are there who can bear praise 
 Vanity is almost an universal sin. None are so low, 
 and none are so high, as to be freed from its power, 
 And can a child bear, uninjured, that praise which 
 has ruined so many men? Here lies one cause of 
 the self-conceit so often visible in the nursery. We 
 flatter our children without being conscious that 
 they are so greedily drinking in the flattery. We 
 do not give them credit for the amount of under- 
 standing they actually possess. It is true, almost all 
 children are regarded by their parents as unusually 
 intelligent. This arises from the fact, that we are 
 daily observing the unfoldings of the minds of the 
 little ones who surround our firesides, while we have 
 no opportunity of noticing the mental developments 
 of others. Bat notwithstanding all this strength of 
 parental partiality, we ordinarily consider children 
 far less intelligent than they in reality are ; and a 
 mother will often talk as unguardedly in the pres- 
 ence of her child who is three or four years of age, 
 as she did in the presence of her infant of so many 
 
84 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 months. The necessity o.f caution upon this subject 
 will be obvious to every parent upon a moment's 
 reflection. Let nothing be said in the hearing of a 
 child that would tend to excite its vanity. Guard 
 against the possibility of his supposing that he does 
 and says remarkable things, and is superior to other 
 " children. 
 
 But though a parent may restrain her own tongue, 
 it is more difficult to restrain the tongues of others. 
 Many visitors make it a constant habit to flatter the 
 children wherever they go. Regardless of the ruin- 
 ous effects upon their tender and susceptible minds, 
 they think only of pleasing the parents. Beautiful 
 children are thus peculiarly exposed. How com- 
 mon is it for a child of handsome countenance to 
 have a spoiled temper. This is so frequently the 
 case, that many persons have supposed that " spoiled 
 beauty" are words never to be separated. I once 
 knew a little boy, of unusually bright and animated 
 countenance. Every one who entered the house, 
 noticed the child and spoke of his beauty. One 
 day a gentleman called upon business, and being 
 engaged in conversation, did not pay that attention 
 to the child to which he was accustomed, and which 
 he now began to expect as his due. The vain little 
 fellow made many efforts to attract notice, but not 
 succeeding, he at last placed himself full in front 
 of the gentleman, and asked, ""Why don't you see 
 now beautiful I be ?" The feeling, it is true, is not 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 85 
 
 often so openly expressed, but nothing is more com- 
 mon than for it to be excited in precisely this way. 
 
 It is surely a duty to approve children when they 
 do right, and to disapprove when they do wrong. 
 But great caution should be used to preserve a child 
 from hearing any thing that will destroy that most 
 lovely trait of character, an humble spirit. It is, 
 on this account, often a misfortune to a child to be 
 unusually handsome or forward. It is so difficult 
 to preserve it from the contaminations of flattery, 
 that what might have been a great benefit, becomes 
 a serious injury. 
 
 2. Do not make exhibitions of your cJiild?"en , s 
 attainments,. And here we must refer again to the 
 danger of exciting vanity. There is no passion 
 more universal, or with greater difficulty subdued. 
 An eminent clergyman was once leaving his pulpit, 
 when one of his parishioners addressed him, highly 
 commending the sermon he had just uttered. " Be 
 careful, my friend," said the clergyman, "I carry a 
 tinder-box in my bosom." And if the bosom of an 
 aged man of piety and of prayer may be thus easily 
 inflamed, must there not be great danger in shoioing 
 off a child to visitors, who will most certainly flatter 
 its performance ? You have taught your daughter 
 some interesting hymns. She is modest and unas- 
 suming, and repeats them with much propriety. 
 A friend calls, and you request the child to repeat 
 her hymns. She does it. Thus far there is, per 
 
86 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 haps, no injury done. But as soon as she has fin- 
 ished, you»r friend begins to flatter. Soon another 
 and another friend calls, and the scene is continually 
 repeated, till your daughter feels proud of her per- 
 formance. She becomes indeed quite an actress. 
 And the hymn which was intended to lead her 
 youthful heart to God, does but fill that heart with 
 pride. Must it not be so ? How can a child with- 
 stand such strong temptations? Parents may show 
 their children that they are gratified in witnessing 
 their intellectual attainments. And this presents 
 a motive sufficiently strong to stimulate them to 
 action. But when they are exposed to the indis- 
 criminate and injudicious flattery of whoever may 
 call, it is not for a moment to be supposed that 
 they will retain just views of themselves. It must 
 however be allowed, that with some children the 
 danger is much greater than with others. Some 
 need much encouragement, while others need con- 
 tinual restraint. Who has not noticed the thousand 
 arts which a vain child will practise, simply to 
 attract attention ? Who has not seen such a spoiled 
 one take a book and read, occasionally casting a 
 furtive glance from the page to the visitor, to see if 
 the studious habit is observed? And can such a 
 child be safely exhibited to strangers? It may, 
 perhaps, at times be an advantage to a modest child 
 to repeat a hymn, or something of that nature, to 
 a judicious friend. If your pastor feels that inter- 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 87 
 
 est in children which he ought to cherish, he will 
 regard all the little ones of his congregation with 
 parental affection. He ought not to be considered 
 as a stranger in the family. Children may appear 
 before him with confidence and affection, and if he 
 has the spirit of his Master, he will cautiously 
 guard against flattery, and endeavor to improve 
 the occasion by leading the mind to serious thoughts. 
 But the practice of making a show of children, of 
 exhibiting their little attainments, is certainly 
 reprehensible ; and it is, we fear, not only common, 
 but increasing, The following remarks upon this 
 subject are from the pen of an individual who com 
 bines much shrewdness of observation with exten- 
 sive experience. 
 
 "I always felt pain for poor little things set up 
 before company to repeat verses, or bits of plays, at 
 six or eight years old. I have sometimes not known 
 which way to look, when a mother — and too often 
 a father — whom I could not but respect on account 
 of her fondness for her child, has forced the feeble- 
 voiced eighth wonder of the world to stand with its 
 little hand stretched out, shouting the soliloquy of 
 Hamlet, or some such thing. I do not know any 
 thing much more distressing to the spectators than 
 exhibitions of this sort. Upon these occasions' no 
 one knows what to say, or whither to direct his 
 looks. If I had to declare, on my oath, which have 
 been the most disagreeable moments of my life, I 
 
88 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 verily believe, that after due consideration, I should 
 fix upon those in which parents whom I have re- 
 spected, have made me endure exhibitions like these ; 
 for this is your choice, to be insincere, or to give 
 offence. The plaudits which the child receives in 
 such cases puff it up in its own thoughts, and send 
 it out into the world stuffed with pride and insolence, 
 which must and will be extracted from it by one 
 means or another. Now parents have no right thus 
 to indulge their own feelings at the risk of the hap- 
 piness of their children." 
 
 Scenes similar to those above described will at 
 once occur to the recollection of the reader. And 
 the fact that such are the feelings of many strangers, 
 in general, is of itself amply sufficient to discoun- 
 tenance the practice. 
 
 There are two extremes which it is necessary tc 
 avoid. The one is, that of secluding children alto- 
 gether from society ; the other is, of wearying our 
 friends by their presence and their ceaseless talk 
 If we consider our children as troubles, to be kept 
 out of the way whenever we wish for social enjoy- 
 ment ; if the entrance of a few friends to pass the 
 evening is the signal for their immediate departure 
 to another room, how can we expect them to im- 
 prove, or to become acquainted with the proprieties 
 of life ? They must listen to the conversation and 
 observe the manners of their superiors, that their 
 minds and their manners may be improved. Not 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 89 
 
 long since, I heard a gentleman speaking of an un- 
 usually interesting family he had just visited. It 
 was known that he was coming to pass the evening. 
 As he entered the room he saw three little children 
 sitting quietly and silently hy the fire. The mother 
 was sitting hy the table with her sewing. The 
 father was rising to receive him. The children 
 remained for an hour or more, listening with inter- 
 est to the conversation which passed between their 
 parents and the gentleman. They made not the 
 least interruption, hut by their presence and cheer- 
 ful looks contributed much to the enjoyment of the 
 evening. At eight o'clock the mother said, "Chil- 
 dren, it is eight." Without another word, they all 
 rose and left the room. The mother soon followed, 
 and after being absent a few moments, returned. 
 Now, how much enjoyment is there in such a family 
 as this. And how much improvement do the chil- 
 dren derive from being accustomed to the society of 
 their superiors. In this way they are taught hu- 
 mility, for they see how much less they know than 
 others. They gain information, and their minds 
 are strengthened by the conversation they hear. 
 Their manners are improved, for children learn 
 more by example than precept. If you would en- 
 joy these pleasures, and confer upon your children 
 these benefits, it is indispensable that they be habit- 
 ually well governed. Nothing can be more hope- 
 less than to expect that children will conduct prop* 
 
90 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 erly when company is present, if at other times 
 they are uncontrolled. 
 
 Some parents, feeling the importance that their 
 children should enjoy good society, and at the same 
 time having them under no restraint, deprive them- 
 selves and their visitors of all enjoyment, and their 
 children of all benefit. We do not like, even in 
 imagination, to encounter the deafening clamor of 
 such a scene. Some are lolling about the stranger's 
 chair, some crying, some shouting. The mother is 
 pulling at the gown of one, and scolding at another. 
 The visitor, distracted with the noise, endeavors in 
 vain to engage in conversation. The time and 
 attention and patience of the parents are absorbed 
 by their lawless family. The visitor, after endur- 
 ing the uproar for half an hour, is happy in making 
 his escape. Where can there be pleasure, and 
 where can there be profit in such a scene as this ? 
 
 There are many advantages in encouraging an 
 inquisitive spirit in a child. It has entered upon a 
 world where every thing is new and astonishing. 
 Of course it is hourly meeting with objects upon 
 which it desires information. But as soon as a 
 child finds that his parents encourage him in asking 
 questions, he begins to think that it is a very pretty 
 thing. He will be incessantly presenting his inquir- 
 ies. His motive will cease to be a gratification of 
 a reasonable and commendable curiosity, and he 
 will desire merely to display his skill, or to talk for 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 91 
 
 the sake of talking. It is very necessary to restrain 
 children in this respect. Their motives are gen- 
 erally distinctly to be seen. And if the motive 
 which prompts the question he improper, let the 
 child receive marks of disapprobation, and not of 
 approval. 
 
 "Mother, what is the coffee-pot for?'' said a child 
 of three years, at the breakfast-table. 
 
 "It is to put the coffee in," said the mother. 
 - - And why do you put the coffee in the coffee-pot ?" 
 "Because it is more convenient to pour it out." 
 " And what," said the child, hesitating and look- 
 ing around the table to find some new question ; 
 "And what — are the cups for?" 
 "They are to drink from." 
 "And why do you drink out of the cups?" 
 In this manner the child, during the whole time 
 allotted for the breakfast, incessantly asked his 
 questions. The mother as continually answered 
 them. She had adopted the principle, that her child 
 must always be encouraged in asking questions. 
 And by blindly and thoughtlessly following out this 
 principle, she was puffing up his heart with vanity, 
 and making him a most unendurable talker. The 
 common-sense principle, to guide us upon this sub- 
 ject, is obvious. If the motive be good, and the 
 occasion suitable, let the child be encouraged in his 
 inquiries. If otherwise, let him be discouraged. A 
 child is sitting at the breakfast-table with his father 
 
92 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 and mother. The mother lifts the top of the coffee- 
 pot, and the child observes the contents violently 
 boiling. 
 
 "Mother," says the little boy, "what makes the 
 coffee bubble up so?" 
 
 Here the motive is good, and the occasion is prop- 
 er. And one of the parents explains to the child 
 the chemical process which we call the boiling. 
 The parents have reason to be gratified at the ob- 
 servation of the child, and the explanation commu- 
 nicates to him valuable knowledge. But perhaps 
 a stranger is present, with whom the father is en- 
 gaged in interesting conversation. Under these 
 circumstances the child asks the same question. It 
 is, however, unseasonable. He ought to be silent 
 when company is present. The mother accordingly 
 replies, "My son, you should not interrupt your 
 father. You must be perfectly silent, and listen to 
 what he is saying." 
 
 She does not, however, forget the question, but 
 embraces some opportunity of again alluding to it. 
 She gives him an answer, and shows him that it is 
 very impolite to interrupt the conversation of others, 
 or to engross attention when company is present. 
 Much pleasure is destroyed, and much improvement 
 prevented in permitting the conversation of friends 
 to be interrupted by the loquacity of children. 
 
 -Some parents, to avoid this inconvenience, imme- 
 diately send their children from the room when 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 93 
 
 visitors arrive. This is treating" children with 
 injustice, and the parents must reap the mortifying 
 consequences in their uncultivated manners and 
 uncultivated minds. Hence, in many gentlemen's 
 families, you find awkward and clownish children. 
 If children are banished from pleasing and intelli- 
 gent society, they must necessarily grow up rude 
 and ignorant. The course to he pursued, therefore, 
 is plain. They should he often present when friends 
 visit you. But they should be taught to conduct 
 properly — to sit in silence and listen. They should 
 not speak unless spoken to. And above all, they 
 should not be thrust forward upon the attention of 
 visitors, to exhibit their attainments, and receive 
 flattery as profusely as your friends may be pleased 
 to deal it out. 
 
 3. Do not deceive children. Many are unaware 
 of the evil consequences which result from this 
 common practice. A physician once called to ex- 
 tract a tooth from a child. The little boy seeing 
 the formidable instruments, and anticipating the 
 pain, was exceedingly frightened, and refused to 
 open his mouth. After much fruitless solicitation, 
 the physician said, "Perhaps there is no need of 
 drawing it. Let me rub it a little with my hand- 
 kerchief, and it may be all that is necessary; it 
 will not hurt you in the least. The boy, trust- 
 ing his word, opened his mouth. The physician, 
 concealing his instrument in his handkerchief, seized 
 
94 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 hold of the tooth and wrenched it out. The parents 
 highly applauded his artifice. But the man cheat- 
 ed the child. He abused his confidence ; and he 
 inflicted an injury upon his moral feelings not soon 
 to be effaced. Will that physician get his handker- 
 chief into the mouth of the child again ? Will he 
 believe what the physician may hereafter say? 
 And when told that it is wicked to say that which 
 is not true, will not the remembrance of the doc- 
 tor's falsehood be fresh in his mind? And while 
 conscious that his parents approved of the decep- 
 tion, will he not feel it to be right for him to deceive, 
 that he may accomplish his desires? This prac- 
 tice is attended with the most ruinous consequences. 
 It unavoidably teaches the child to despise his par- 
 ents. After he has detected them in one falsehood, 
 he will not believe them when they speak the truth. 
 It destroys his tenderness of conscience; and it 
 teaches arts of deception. And what are the advan- 
 tages? Why, in one particular instance, the point 
 is gained. . 
 
 Let compulsion be resorted to when necessary, 
 but deception never. If a child cannot place impli- 
 cit confidence in his parent, most assuredly no con- 
 fidence can be reposed in the child. Is it possible 
 for a mother to practise arts of deception and false- 
 hood, and at the same time her daughter be forming 
 a character of frankness and of truth ? Who can for 
 a moment suppose it ? We must be what we wish 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 95 
 
 our children to be. They will form their characters 
 from ours. 
 
 A mother was once trying to persuade hei little 
 son to take some medicine. The medicine was very 
 unpalatable, and she, to induce him to take it, de- 
 clared it did not taste bad. He did not believe her. 
 He knew, by sad experience, that her word was not 
 to be trusted. A gentleman and friend who was 
 present, took the spoon and said, 
 
 "James, this is medicine, and it tastes very 
 badly. I should not like to take it, but I would, ii 
 necessary. You have courage enough to swallow 
 something which does not taste good, have you 
 not?" 
 
 "Yes," said James, looking a little less sulky; 
 "but that is very bad indeed." 
 
 "I know it," said the gentleman, "I presume you 
 never tasted any thing much, worse." The gentle- 
 man then tasted the medicine himself, and said, 
 "It is really very unpleasant But now let us see 
 if you have not resolution enough to take it, bad as 
 it is." 
 
 The boy hesitatingly took the spoon. 
 
 "It is, really, rather bad," said the gentleman, 
 "but the best way is to summon all your resolution, 
 and down with it at once, like a man." 
 
 James made, in reality, a great effort for a child, 
 and swallowed the dose. And who will this child 
 most respect„ his deceitful mother, or the honest- 
 
96 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 dealing stranger ? And whom will he hereafter most 
 readily believe ? It ought, however, to be remarked, 
 that had the child been properly governed, he would 
 at once, and without a murmur, have taken what 
 his mother presented. It is certainly, however, a 
 supposable case, that the child might, after all the 
 arguments of the gentleman, still have refused to 
 do his duty. What course should then be pursued ? 
 Resort to compulsion, but never to deceit. We can- 
 not deceive our children without seriously injuring 
 them, and destroying our own influence. Frank 
 and open dealing is the only safe policy in family 
 government, as well as on the wider theatre of life. 
 The underhand arts and cunning manoeuvres of tho 
 intriguer are sure, in the end, to promote his own 
 overthrow. Be sincere and honest, and you are 
 safe. The only sure way of securing beneficial re- 
 sults, is by virtuous and honorable means. 
 
 4. Do not be continually finding fault. It is at 
 times necessary to censure and to punish. But very 
 much may be done by encouraging children when 
 they do well. Be even more careful to express 
 your approbation of good conduct, than your disap- 
 probation of bad. Nothing can more discourage a 
 child than a spirit of incessant fault-finding, on the 
 part of its parent. And hardly any thing can exert 
 a more injurious influence upon the disposition both 
 of the parent and the child. There are two great 
 motives influencing human actions, hope and fear. 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 97 
 
 Both of these are at times necessary. But who 
 would not prefer to have her child influenced to 
 good conduct by the desire of pleasing, rather than 
 by the fear of offending ? If a mother never express 
 her gratification when her children do well, and is 
 always censuring when she sees any thing amiss, 
 they are discouraged and unhappy. They feel that 
 there is no use in trying to please. Their disposi- 
 tions become hardened and soured by this ceaseless 
 fretting. At last finding, that whether they do 
 well or ill they are equally found fault with, they 
 relinquish all efforts to please, and become heedless 
 of reproaches. 
 
 But let a mother approve of her child's conduct 
 whenever she can. Let her show that his good 
 behavior makes her sincerely happy. Let her re- 
 ward him for his efforts to please, by smiles and 
 affection. In this way she will cherish in her 
 child's heart some of the noblest and most desirable 
 feelings of our nature. She will cultivate in him 
 an amiable disposition and a cheerful spirit. Your 
 child has been, during the day, very pleasant and 
 obedient. Just before putting him to sleep for the 
 night, you take his hand and say, " My son, you 
 have been a very good boy to-day. It makes me 
 very happy to see you so kind and obedient. Gcd 
 loves little children who are dutiful to their parents, 
 and he promises to make them happy." This ap- 
 probation from his mother is, to him, a great reward. 
 
 Mother at Home. 1 
 
98 THE MOTHER AT HOME 
 
 And when, with a more than ordinarily affectionate 
 tone, you say. " Good-night, my dear son," he leaves 
 the room with his little heart full of feeling. And 
 when he closes his eyes for sleep, he is happy, and 
 resolves that he will always try to do his duty. 
 
 Basil Hall thus describes the effects produced on 
 board ship, by the different modes of government 
 adopted by different commanders. 
 
 "Whenever one of these commanding officers 
 came on board the ship, after an absence of a day 
 or two, and likewise when he made his periodical 
 round of the decks after breakfast, his constant 
 habit was to cast his eye about him in order to dis- 
 cover what was wrong ; to detect the smallest thing 
 that was out of its place ; in a word, to find as many 
 grounds for censure as possible. This constituted, 
 in his opinion, the best preventive to neglect, on the 
 part of those under his command ; and he acted in 
 this crusty way on principle. The attention of the 
 other officer, on the contrary, appeared to be directed 
 chiefly to those points which he could approve of. 
 For instance, he would stop as he went along, from 
 time to time, and say to the first lieutenant, ' Now, 
 these ropes are very nicely arranged; this mode of 
 stowing the men's bags and mess-kids is just as I 
 wish to see it;' while the officer first described 
 would not only pass by these well-arranged things, 
 which had cost hours of labor to put in order, quite 
 unnoticed, but would not be easy till his eye had 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 99 
 
 caught hold of some casual omission which afforded 
 an opening for disapprobation. 
 
 " One of these captains would remark to the first 
 lieutenant, as he walked along, 'How white and 
 clean you have got the decks to day. I think you 
 must have been at them all the morning, to have 
 got them into such order.' The other, in similar 
 circumstances, but eager to find fault, would say, 
 even if the decks were as white and clean as drifted 
 snow, 'I w^sh you would teach these sweepers to 
 clear away that bundle of shakings,' pointing to a 
 bit of rope-yarn, not half an inch long, left under 
 the trunk of a gun. It seemed, in short, as if no- 
 thing was more vexatious to one of these officers, 
 than to discover things so correct as to afford him 
 no good opportunity for finding fault ; while, to the 
 other, the necessity of censuring really appeared a 
 punishment to himself. 
 
 "Under the one, accordingly, we all worked with 
 cheerfulness, from a conviction that nothing we did 
 in a proper way would miss approbation. 
 
 "But our duty under the other, being performed 
 in fear, seldom went on with much spirit. We had 
 no personal satisfaction in doing things correctly, 
 from the certainty of getting no commendation. 
 
 "The great chance, also, of being censured, even 
 in those cases where we had labored most indus- 
 triously to merit approbation, broke the spring of all 
 generous exertion, and by teaching us to anticipate 
 
100 TEE MOTHER AT. HOME. 
 
 blame as a matter of course, defeated the very pur- 
 pose of punishment when it fell upon us. The case 
 being quite hopeless, the chastisement seldom con- 
 duced either to the amendment of an offender, or to 
 the prevention of offences. But what seemed the 
 oddest thing of all was, that these men were both 
 as kind-hearted as could be ; or, if there were any 
 difference, the fault-finder was the better natured, 
 and, in matters not professional, the more indulgent 
 of the two. 
 
 " The line of conduct I have described was purely 
 a matter of official system, not at all of feeling. 
 Yet, as it then appeared, and still appears to me, 
 nothing could be more completely erroneous than 
 the snarling method of the one, or more decidedly 
 calculated to do good than the approving style of 
 the other. It has, in fact, always "appeared to me 
 an absurdity, to make any real distinction between 
 public and private matters in these respects. 
 
 "Nor is there the smallest reason why the same 
 principle of civility, or consideration, or by what- 
 ever name that quality be called, by which the 
 feelings of others are consulted, should not modify 
 professional intercourse quite as much as it does 
 that of the freest society, without any risk that the 
 requisite strictness of discipline would be hurt by 
 an attention to good manners. 
 
 "The desire of discovering that things are right 
 and a sincere wish to express our approbation, are 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 101 
 
 habits which, in almost every situation in life, have 
 the best possible effects in practice. 
 
 " They are vastly more agreeable certainly to the" 
 superior himself, whether he be the colonel of a 
 regiment, the captain of a ship, or the head of a 
 house, for the mere act of approving seldom fails to 
 put a man's thoughts into that pleasant train which 
 predisposes him to be habitually pleased, and this 
 frame of mind alone, essentially helps the propaga- 
 tion of a similar cheerfulness among all those who 
 are about him. It requires, indeed, but a very lit- 
 tle experience of soldiers or sailors, children, ser- 
 vants, or any other kind of dependents, or even of 
 companions and superiors, to show that this good- 
 humor, on the part of those whom we wish to influ- 
 ence, is the best possible coadjutor to our schemes 
 of management, whatever these may be." 
 
 The judicious exercise of approbation is of the 
 first importance in promoting obedience, and in cul- 
 tivating in the bosom of your child affectionate and 
 cheerful feelings. Let your smiles animate your 
 boy's heart, and cheer him on in duty. When he 
 returns from school with his clothes clean and his 
 countenance happy, reward him with the manifesta- 
 tion of a mother's love. This will be the strongest 
 incentive to neatness and care. An English gen- 
 tleman used to encourage his little children to early 
 rising, by calling the one who first made her ap- 
 pearance in the parlor in the morning, Lark. The 
 
102 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 early riser was addressed by that name during the 
 day. This slight expression of parental approval 
 was found sufficient to call up all the children to 
 the early enjoyment of the morning air. A child 
 often makes a very great effort to do something to 
 merit a smile from its mother. And most bitter 
 tears are frequently shed because parents do not 
 sufficiently sympathize in these feelings. 
 
 The enjoyment of many a social circle, and the 
 disposition of many an affectionate child, are spoiled 
 by unceasing complainings. Some persons get into 
 such a habit of finding fault, that it becomes as nat- 
 ural to them as to breathe. Nothing pleases them. 
 In every action, and in every event, they are search- 
 ing for something to disapprove. Like venomous 
 reptiles, they have the faculty of extracting poison 
 from the choicest blessings. Children are, very 
 much, creatures of sympathy. They form their 
 characters from those around them. And we must 
 cherish in our own bosoms those virtues we would 
 foster in theirs. If we would give them calm and 
 gentle and friendly feelings, we must first show 
 them, by our own example, how valuable those 
 feelings are. 
 
 5. Never punish by exciting imaginary fears. 
 There is something very remarkable in the univer- 
 sal prevalence of superstition. Hardly an indi- 
 vidual is to be found, enlightened or unenlightened, 
 who is not, in a greater or less degree, under tha 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 103 
 
 influence of these irrational fears. There is, in the 
 very nature of man, a strong susceptibility of im- 
 pression upon this subject. A ghost-story will be 
 listened to with an intensity of interest which hardly 
 any thing else can awaken. Persons having the 
 care of children not unfrequently take advantage 
 of this, and endeavor to amuse by relating these 
 stories, or to govern by exciting their fears. It 
 surely is not necessary to argue the impropriety of 
 such a course. Every one knows how ruinous must 
 be the result. Few parents, however, practise the 
 caution which is necessary to prevent others from 
 filling the minds of their children with superstition. 
 How often do we find persons who retain through 
 life the influence which has thus been exerted upon 
 them in childhood. It becomes to them a real ca- 
 lamity. Much watchfulness is required to preserve 
 the mind from such injuries. 
 
 There is a mode of punishment not unfrequent, 
 which is very reprehensible. A child is shut up in 
 the cellar, or in a dark closet. It is thus led to 
 associate ideas of terror with darkness. This effect 
 has sometimes been so powerful, that hardly any 
 motive would induce a child to go alone into a dark 
 room. And sometimes even they fear, after they 
 have retired for sleep, to be left alone without a 
 light. But there is no difficulty in training up chil- 
 dren to be as fearless by night as by day. And you 
 can find many who do not even dream of danger in 
 
104 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 going anywhere about the house in the darkest 
 night. If you would cultivate this state of mind 
 in your children, it is necessary that you should 
 preserve them from ideas of supernatural appear 
 ances, and should never appeal to imaginary 
 fears. Train up your children to he virtuous and 
 fearless. Moral courage is one of the surest safe- 
 guards of virtue. 
 
 An English writer gives a most appalling account 
 of two instances in which fatal consequences at- 
 tended the strong excitement of fear. Says he, " I 
 knew, in Philadelphia, as fine and as sprightly and 
 as intelligent a child as ever was horn made an 
 idiot for life, by being, when about three years old, 
 shut into a dark closet by a maid-servant, in order 
 to terrify it into silence. The thoughtless creature 
 first menaced it with sending it to 'the bad place? 
 and at last, to reduce it to silence, put it into the 
 closet, shut the door, and went out of the room. 
 She went back in a few minutes, and found the 
 child in a. Jit It recovered from that, but was for 
 life an idiot. When the parents, who had been out 
 two days and two nights on a visit of pleasure, 
 came home, they were told that the child had had 
 a Jit, but they were not told the cause. The 
 girl, however, who was a neighbor's daughter, 
 being on her death-bed about ten years afterwards, 
 could not die in peace without sending for the 
 mother of the child and asking forgiveness of her. 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 105 
 
 Thousands upon thousands of human beings have 
 been deprived of their senses by these and similar 
 means. 
 
 "It is not long since that we read, in the news- 
 papers, of a child being absolutely killed — at Bir- 
 mingham, I think — by being thus frightened. The 
 parents had gone out into what is called an evening 
 party. The servants, naturally enough, had their 
 party at home ; and the mistress, who, by some 
 unexpected accident, had been brought home at an 
 early hour, finding the parlor full of company, ran 
 up stairs to see about her child, about two or three 
 years old. She found it with its eyes open, but 
 fixed; touching it, she found it inanimate. The doc- 
 tor was sent for in vain ; it was dead. The maid 
 affected to know nothing of the cause ; but some 
 one of the parties assembled discovered, pinned up 
 to the curtains of the bed, a horrid figure, made up 
 partly of a frightful mask. This, as the wretched 
 girl confessed, had been done to keep the child quiet 
 while she was with her company below. "When 
 one reflects on the anguish that the poor little thing 
 must have endured before the life was quite fright- 
 ened out of it, one can find no terms sufficiently 
 strong to express the abhorrence due to the perpe- 
 trator of this crime, which was, in fact, a cruel 
 murder ; and if it was beyond the reach of the 
 law, it was so, and is so, because, as in the cases 
 of parricide, the law, in making no provision for 
 
106 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 punishment peculiarly severe, has, out of respect 
 to human nature, supposed such crimes to be im- 
 possible.'" 
 
 I have in this chapter alluded to some of the 
 most common and prominent faults in education. 
 They cannot all, however, be particularly men- 
 tioned. The faithful mother must have continually 
 a watchful eye ; she must observe the effect of her 
 own practices. She must carefully search out every 
 little defect and trifling error. We must think and 
 observe for ourselves. It is in vain to hope to make 
 attainment in any thing valuable without effort. 
 The views of others may be of essential aid in lay- 
 ing down general principles, in exciting our own 
 thoughts, and in stimulating us to resolution and 
 fidelity. But, after all, unless we are willing to 
 think ourselves; to study the dispositions of our 
 children ; to watch the influence of the various 
 motives we present to their minds, many faults will 
 pass undetected, and we shall lose many advan- 
 tages we might otherwise have obtained. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 107 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 RELIG-IOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 1. Very great success has attended the efforts 
 which have been made to collect children in Sab- 
 bath-schools for religious instruction. Maternal 
 associations have been of inestimable value. But 
 nothing can supersede the necessity of effort and 
 instruction at the fireside. The mother must col- 
 lect her little flock around her, and take upon her- 
 self the responsibility of their religious education. 
 She may find enjoyment and improvement in asso- 
 ciating with others for prayer ; and if she be faith- 
 ful, she will see that her children are punctual 
 attendants of the Sabbath-school. But she will 
 not regard these as exonerating herself in the least 
 degree from responsibility. The influence of Sab- 
 bath-schools has undoubtedly been to awaken more- 
 general interest at home in behalf of the spiritual 
 welfare of children. Still, there is danger that some 
 parents may feel that the responsibility is trans 
 ferred from themselves to the Sabbath-school teach- 
 ers ; and that they accomplish their duty in seeing 
 them punctually at school with their lessons well 
 committed. It is, however, of the first importance 
 that home should be the sanctuary of religious in- 
 
108 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 struction. The mother must be the earnest and 
 affectionate guide to the Saviour. She must take 
 her little ones by the hand and lead them in the 
 paths of piety. 
 
 No one else can possibly have the influence which 
 a mother may possess, or the" facilities which she 
 enjoys. She knows the various dispositions of her 
 children ; their habits of thought ; their moods of 
 mind. Thus can she adapt instruction to their 
 wants. She alone can improve the numberless 
 occurrences which open the mind for instruction, 
 and give it susceptibility to religious impression. 
 She is with them when they are in sickness or pain. 
 She can take advantage of the calm of the morning, 
 and of the solemn stillness of the evening. In 
 moments of sadness she can point their minds to 
 brighter worlds, and to more satisfying joys. God 
 has conferred upon the mother advantages which no 
 one else can possess. With these advantages he 
 has connected responsibilities which cannot be laid 
 aside, or transferred to another. At home, and by 
 the parents, the great duty of religious education 
 must be faithfully performed. The quiet fireside 
 is the most sacred sanctuary ; maternal affection is 
 the most eloquent pleader, and an obedient child is 
 the most promising subject of religious impressions. 
 Let mothers feel this as they ought, and they will 
 seldom see their children leave the paternal roof un- 
 fortified with Christian principles and sincere piety. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 109 
 
 2. Parents must have deep devotional feelings 
 themselves. It is certainly vain to hope that you 
 can induce your children to fix their affections upon 
 another world, while yours are fixed upon this. 
 Your example will counteract all the influence of 
 your instructions. Unless Christian feelings ani- 
 mate your heart, it is folly to expect that you can 
 instil those principles into the hearts of your chil- 
 dren. They will imitate your example. They 
 confide in your guidance. That little child which 
 God has given you, and which is so happy in your 
 affection, feels safe in cherishing those feelings 
 which it sees you are cherishing. And, mother, 
 can you look upon your confiding child and witness 
 all her fond endearments and warm embraces, and 
 not feel remorse in the consciousness that your ex- 
 ample is leading her away from God, and consign- 
 ing her to ceaseless sorrow? 
 
 You love your child. Your child loves you, and 
 cannot dream that you are abusing its confidence, 
 and leading it in the paths of sin and destruction. 
 How would it be shocked in being told that its 
 mother is the cruel betrayer of its eternal happi- 
 ness. You. are wedded to the world. You have 
 not. given your heart to God. Not content with 
 being the destroyer of your own soul, you must 
 carry with you to the world of woe, the child who 
 is loving you as its mother and its friend. there 
 is an aggravation of cruelty in this which cannot 
 
110 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 be described. One would think that every smile 
 would disturb your peace ; that every proof of affec- 
 tion would pierce your heart; that remorse would 
 keep you awake at midnight, and imbitter every 
 hour. The murderer of the body can scarce with- 
 stand the stings of conscience. But 0, unchristian 
 mother, you are the destroyer of the soul. And of 
 whose soul ? The soul of your own confiding child. 
 We cannot speak less plainly on this topic. We 
 plead the unparalleled wrongs of children, betrayed 
 by a mother's smile and a mother's kiss. Satan 
 led Adam from Paradise. Judas betrayed his Mas- 
 ter. But here we see a mother leading her child, 
 her own immortal child, far from God and peace, 
 to the rebellion of worldliness and the storms of 
 retribution. That little child following in your foot- 
 steps is the heir of eternity. It is to survive the 
 lapse of all coming years; to emerge from the cor- 
 ruptions of the grave ; to expand in spiritual exist- 
 ence, soaring in the angel's lofty flight, or groping 
 in the demon's gloom. Thou, mother, art its 
 guide to immortality, to heaven's green pastures, 
 or to despair's dreary wastes. If you go on in un- 
 repented sin, your child, in all probability, will go 
 with you. 
 
 We have heard of a child, upon her dying bed, 
 raising her eyes to her parents and exclaiming, in 
 bitterness of spirit, " 0, my parents, you never told 
 me of death, or urged me to prepare for it ; and 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. HI 
 
 now," said she, bursting into an agony of tears, " 1 
 am dying, and my soul is lost." She died. Her 
 sun went down in darkness. What were the feel- 
 ings of those parents ? What agony must have rent 
 their bosoms ! How must the spectre of their ruined 
 daughter pursue them in all the employments of the 
 day, and disturb their slumbers by night. But you 
 must meet your children again. The trump of 
 judgment will summon you to the bar of Christ. 
 How fruitless would be the attempt to describe 
 your feelings there. 
 
 " That awful day will surely come ; 
 The appointed hour makes haste." 
 
 Death is succeeded by judgment, and judgment by 
 eternity. If you are the destroyer of your child, 
 through eternity you must bear its reproaches. You 
 must gaze upon the wreck of its immortal spirit, 
 while conscience says, that if you had been faithful, 
 yourself and your child might have been reposing 
 in heaven. Think not that you can go in one path, 
 and induce your child to walk in another. You 
 must not only "point to heaven," but "lead the 
 way." The first thing to be done, is for a mother 
 to give her own heart to God. Become a Christian 
 yourself, and then you may hope for God's blessing 
 upon your efforts to lead your child to the Saviour. 
 We do entreat every mother who reads these pages, 
 as she values her own happiness and the happiness 
 of her children, immediately to surrender her heart 
 
112 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 to God. Atoning blood has removed every diffi- 
 culty from the way. The Holy Spirit is ready, in 
 answer to your prayers, to grant you all needful 
 assistance. Every hour that you neglect this duty, 
 you are leading your children farther from God, 
 and rendering the prospect of their return more 
 hopeless. 
 
 3. Present religion in a cheerful asjject. There 
 is no real enjoyment without piety. The tendency 
 of religion is to make us happy here and hereafter ; 
 to divest the mind of gloom, and fill it with joy. 
 Many parents err in this respect. They dwell too 
 much upon the terrors of the law. They speak 
 with countenances saddened and gloomy. Religion 
 becomes to the child an unwelcome topic, and is 
 regarded as destructive of happiness. The idea of 
 God is associated with gloom and terror. Many 
 parents have, in their latter years, become con- 
 vinced of the injudicious course they have pursued 
 in this respect. They have so connected religious 
 considerations with melancholy countenances and 
 mournful tones of voice, as to cause the subject to 
 be unnecessarily repugnant. 
 
 We may, indeed, err upon the other extreme. 
 The nature of sin, and the justice of God, and the 
 awful penalty of his law should be distinctly ex- 
 hibited. The child should be taught to regard God 
 as that being who, while he loves his creatures, 
 cannot look upon sin but with abhorrence. If we 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 113 
 
 speak to children simply of the Creator's goodness, 
 as manifested in the favor,s we are daily receiving, 
 an erroneous impression of God's character will he 
 conveyed. It is to he feared that many deceive 
 themselves in thinking they love God. They have 
 in their minds a poetic idea of an amiable and sen- 
 timental being, whose character is composed of 
 fondness and indulgence. Such persons are as far 
 from worshipping the true God as is the Indian 
 devotee, or the sensual Moslem. God must be rep- 
 resented as he has exhibited himself to us in the 
 Bible and in the works of nature. He is a God of 
 mercy and of justice. He is a God of love, and a 
 consuming fire. He is to be regarded with our 
 warmest affections, and also with reverence and 
 godly fear. Let, therefore, children distinctly un- 
 derstand that sin cannot pass unpunished. But it 
 should also be understood that judgment is God's 
 strange work. Ordinarily speak of his goodness. 
 Show his readiness to forgive. Excite the grati- 
 tude of the child by speaking of the joys of heaven. 
 Thus let the duties of religion ever be connected 
 with feelings of enjoyment and images of happiness, 
 that the child may perceive that gloom and sorrow 
 are connected only with disobedience and irreligion. 
 There is enough in the promised joys of heaven to 
 rouse a child's most animated feelings. This sub- 
 ject has more to cheer the youthful heart than any 
 other which can be presented. Appeal to gratitude. 
 
 Mother at Home. ft 
 
114 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Excite hope. Speak of the promised reward. Thus 
 may you most reasonably hope to lead your child to 
 love its Maker, and to live for heaven. Reserve 
 the terrors of the law for solemn occasions, when 
 you may produce a deep and abiding impression. 
 If you are continually introducing these motives, 
 the mind becomes hardened against their influence, 
 religion becomes a disagreeable topic, and the in- 
 veteracy of sin is confirmed. 
 
 4. Improve appropriate occasions. "We all know 
 that there are times when there is peculiar tender- 
 ness of conscience and susceptibility of impression. 
 These changes come over the mind sometimes from 
 unaccountable causes. One day the Christian will 
 feel a warmth of devotional feeling and elevation 
 of spiritual enjoyment, which the next day he in 
 vain endeavors to attain. The man whose affec- 
 tions are fixed upon the world, at one time will be 
 almost satisfied with the pleasure he is gathering. 
 The world looks bright ; hope is animated ; and he 
 rushes on with new vigor in his delusive pursuits. 
 The next day all his objects of desire appear as 
 perfect shadows. He feels the heartlessness of his 
 pleasures ; his spirit is sad within him ; and he is 
 almost resolved to be a Christian. With these 
 changes nearly all are familiar. Sometimes they 
 may be accounted for from known external causes 
 At other times the causes elude our search. 
 
 A mother should ever be watchful to improve 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. H5 
 
 such occasions. When she sees her child with an 
 unusually tender spirit, with a pensive countenance 
 and subdued feelings, let her then look to Grod in 
 fervent prayer, and with all the persuasions of a 
 mother's love endeavor to guide her child to the 
 Saviour. "When the Kind is in such a state as this, 
 it is prepared for religious instruction. It then can 
 be made to feel how heartless are all joys but those 
 of piety. Its hold upon the world is loosened, and 
 it may more easily be led to wander in those illimita- 
 ble regions where it may hereafter find its home. 
 how sweet a pleasure it is to present the joys of 
 religion to a child whose feelings are thus chastened ; 
 to behold the tear of feeling moistening its eye ; to 
 see its little bosom heaving with the new emotions 
 which are rising there ! If there be a joy on earth, 
 it is to be found in such a. scene as this. The hap- 
 py mother thus guiding her young immortal to its 
 heavenly home, experiences a rapture of feeling 
 which the world knows not of. Such occasions 
 are not unfrequently arising, and the mother should 
 endeavor always to have her heart warm with love 
 to Christ, that in such an hour she may communi- 
 cate its warmth to the bosom of her child. 
 
 There are certain seasons also which are pecu- 
 liarly appropriate for guiding the thoughts to heav- 
 en. Our feelings vary with the scenes around us. 
 Upon some dark and tempestuous night you lead 
 your little son to his chamber. The rain beats 
 
116 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 violently upon the windows. The wind whistles 
 around the corners of the dwelling. All without is 
 darkness and gloom. The mind of the child is 
 necessarily affected "by this rage of the elements. 
 You embrace the opportunity to inculcate a lesson 
 of trust in God. "My son," you say, "it is God 
 who causes this wind to blow, and the rain to fall. 
 Neither your father nor I can cause the storm to 
 cease, or increase its violence. If God wished, 
 he could make the wind blow with such fury as to 
 beat in all the windows and destroy the house. 
 But God will take care of you, my son, if you sin- 
 cerely ask him. No one else can take care of you. 
 I hope that you will pray that God will protect 
 you, and your father, and me, to-night. When God 
 commands, the storm will cease. The clouds will 
 disappear ; all will be calm. And the bright moon 
 and twinkling stars will shine out again." 
 
 In some such manner as this the child may be 
 taught his entire dependence upon God. He can- 
 not fail of obtaining a deep impression of the power 
 of his Maker. You may say that God is omnipo- 
 tent, and it will produce but a feeble impression. 
 But point to some actual exhibition of God's power, 
 and the attention is arrested, and the truth is felt. 
 When the mother leaves the room, and her son re- 
 mains alone and in darkness, listening to tie roar 
 of the storm, will not his mind be expanded with 
 new ideas of the greatness and the power of his 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. H7 
 
 Maker ? Will lie not feel that it is a fearful thing 
 to offend such a being ? And if he has been rightly 
 instructed to place his trust in God, the agitation 
 of the elements will not trouble the serenity of his 
 heart. He will feel, that with God for his protector, 
 he need fear no evil. Some such simple occurrence 
 as this may often be improved to produce an impres- 
 sion which never can be forgotten. Such thoughts as 
 these, introduced to the mind of a child, will enlarge 
 its capacities, give it maturity, lead it to reflection, 
 and, by the blessing of God, promote its eternal well- 
 being. One such transient incident has a greater 
 effect than hours of ordinary religious conversation. 
 One of the most important duties of the mother 
 is to ivatchfor these occasions and diligently to im- 
 prove them. Any parent who is faithful will find 
 innumerable opportunities which will enable her 
 to come into almost immediate contact with the 
 heart of her child. The hour of sickness comes. 
 Your little daughter is feverish and restless upon 
 her pillow. You bathe her burning brow and 
 moisten her parched tongue, and she hears your 
 prayer that she may be restored to health. At 
 length the fever subsides. She awakes from re- 
 freshing sleep, relieved from pain. You tell her 
 then, that if God had not interposed, her sickness 
 would have increased till she had died. By point- 
 ing her attention to this one act of kindness in God, 
 which she can see and feel, you may excite emotions 
 
118 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 of sincere gratitude. You may thus lead her to real 
 grief that she should ever disobey her heavenly 
 Father. 
 
 A child in the neighborhood dies. Your daugh- 
 ter accompanies you to the funeral. She looks 
 upon the lifeless corpse of her little companion. 
 And shall a mother neglect such an opportunity to 
 teach her child the meaning of death ? When your 
 daughter retires to sleep at night, she will most cer- 
 tainly think of her friend who has died. As you 
 speak to her of the eternal world to which her 
 friend has gone, of the judgment-seat of Christ, of 
 the new scenes of joy or woe upon which she has 
 entered, will not her youthful heart feel ? And will 
 not tears of sympathy fill her eyes ? And as you tell 
 your daughter that she, too, soon must die, leave all 
 her friends, appear before Christ to be judged, and 
 enter upon an eternal existence, will not the occur- 
 rence of the day give a reality and an effect to your 
 remarks which will long be remembered? There 
 are few children who can resist such appeals. The 
 Saviour, who took little children in his arms and 
 blessed them, will not despise this day of small 
 things, but will cherish the feelings thus excited, 
 and strengthen the feeble resolve. We have every 
 encouragement to believe that God, who is more 
 ready to give his Holy Spirit to them that ask him, 
 than a mother to feed a hungry child, will accom> 
 pany these efforts with his blessing. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. H9 
 
 A father once led his little daughter into the 
 graveyard, to show her the grave of a playmate, 
 who, a few days before, had been consigned to her 
 cold and narrow bed. The little .girl looked for 
 some moments in silence and sadness upon the 
 fresh mound, and then looking up, said, "Papa, I 
 now know what is meant by the hymn, 
 
 'I, in the burying-place, may see 
 Graves shorter there than I.' 
 
 My grave would be longer than this." This dear 
 little child now lies by the side of that grave. 
 But her parents can smile through their tears, as 
 they believe that her spirit is in heaven. It is by 
 introducing children to such scenes, and seizing 
 upon such occasions, that we may most successfully 
 inculcate lessons of piety. One such incident en- 
 ters more deeply into the heart than volumes of 
 ordinary conversation. 
 
 You are perhaps riding with your son. It is a 
 lovely summer's morning. The fields lie spread 
 before you in beauty. The song of the bird is heard. 
 All nature seems uttering a voice of gladness. As 
 you ascend some eminence which gives you a com- 
 manding view of all the varied beauties of the 
 scene — of hill and valley, rivulet and forest, of 
 verdant pastures and lowing herds — can you fail to 
 point the attention of your son to these beauties, 
 and from them to lead his mind to Him whose word 
 called them all into being ? And may you not thus 
 
120 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 most effectually carry his thoughts away to heaven? 
 May you not lead his mind to the green pastures 
 and the still waters, where there is sweet repose 
 for ever? May you not introduce him to that kind 
 Shepherd who there protects his flock, gathering 
 his lambs in his arms, and folding them in his 
 bosom? May not a mother's or a father's tongue 
 here plead with an eloquence unknown in the 
 pulpit ? 
 
 By carefully improving such occasions as these, 
 you may produce an impression upon the mind, 
 which all future years cannot remove. You may 
 so intimately connect devotional feelings with the 
 ever-varying events and changing scenes of life, 
 that every day's occurrences will lead his thoughts 
 to God. The raging storm, the hour of sickness, 
 the funeral procession, the tolling bell, will, in all 
 after-life, carry back his thoughts to a mother's 
 instructions and prayers. Should your son here- 
 after be a wanderer from home, as he stands upon 
 the Alps, or rides upon the ocean, his mind will 
 involuntarily be carried to Him who rules the 
 waters and who built the hills. With these occa- 
 sions, which produce so vivid an effect upon the 
 mind, endeavor to connect views of God and 
 heaven. 
 
 I can never forget the impression produced upon 
 my own mind by a very simple remark, which, 
 under ordinary circumstances, would not have been 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 121 
 
 remembered an hour. The good illustration it 
 affords of the principle we are now considering, 
 has overcome the reluctance I feel in appealing to 
 personal experience. One day in the very early 
 stages of my childhood, my father gave me a little 
 ball covered with leather, such as boys usually play 
 with. Saturday morning, while playing with it at 
 school, it was accidentally thrown over tKe fence 
 and lost. We searched for it a long time in vain. 
 The loss to me was about as severe as it would be 
 for a man to part with half his fortune. I went 
 home and unbosomed my grief to my mother. She 
 endeavored to console me, but with what effect I can- 
 not now remember. The next day was the Sabbath. 
 T passed the day with more than ordinary propriety. 
 My customary Sabbath hymn was perfectly com- 
 mitted. Seated in my little chair by the fire, I 
 passed a quiet and happy day in reading, and the 
 various duties appropriate to holy time. My con- 
 duct was such as to draw expressions of approbation 
 from my parents, as with a peaceful heart I bade 
 them good-night, to retire to rest. The next day, 
 as usual, I went to school. The lost ball occupied 
 my mind as I walked along. Upon climbing over 
 the fence into the field where I had so long and so 
 fruitlessly searched on the preceding Saturday, 
 almost the first object upon which my eye fell was 
 the ball partially concealed by a stone. Child as I 
 was, my joy was very great. At noon I ran hastily 
 
122 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 home to inform my mother, knowing that she would 
 rejoice with me over my recovered treasure. After 
 sympathizing with me in my childish happiness, 
 she remarked that Sir Matthew Hale had said that 
 he never passed the Sabbath well without being 
 prospered the succeeding week. "You remember, 
 my son," she continued, "that you were a good boy 
 yesterday. This shows you, that if you would be 
 happy and prosperous, you must remember the Sab- 
 bath-day, and keep it holy." Whether this remark 
 be unexceptionably true, it is not in place now to 
 inquire. That it generally is true, but few will 
 doubt. But the remark, in the connection in which 
 it was made, produced an impression upon my mind 
 which will never be effaced. All the other events 
 of that early period have long since perished from 
 my memory ; but this remains fresh and prominent. 
 Often has it led me to the scrupulous observance 
 of the Sabbath : even to the present day I can dis- 
 tinctly perceive its influence. The connection in 
 my mind between God's blessing and the observ- 
 ance of the Sabbath is so intimate, that scarcely 
 does a Sabbath morning arrive in which it is not 
 involuntarily suggested. Probably every reader 
 can recall to mind some similar occurrence which 
 has fixed an indelible impression. If a mother will 
 be ever vigilant to improve such opportunities, she 
 will avoid the danger of making religion a weari 
 Borne and unpleasant topic. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 123 
 
 There is hardly any person so reckless of eter- 
 nity, so opposed to piety, who will not at times listen 
 to religions conversation. A Christian gentleman 
 was once a passenger on board a vessel where his 
 ears were frequently pained by the profane language 
 of a rude and boisterous cabin-boy. He resolved to 
 watch for some opportunity to converse with him. 
 One evening the gentleman was lying, wrapped in 
 his cloak, upon the quarter-deck, with a coil of ropes 
 for his pillow, feasting upon the beauties of ocean 
 scenery. A gentle breeze was swelling the sails 
 and bearing them rapidly over the undulating wa- 
 ters. The waves were glittering with their phos- 
 phorescent fires, and reflected from innumerable 
 points the rays of the moon. Not a cloud obscured 
 the thousands of lights which were hung out in 
 "nature's grand rotunda." The cabin-boy hap- 
 pened to be employed in adjusting some ropes near 
 the place where the gentleman was reclining in 
 the rich enjoyment of his wandering thoughts. A 
 few words of conversation first passed between them 
 upon some ordinary topic. The attention of the 
 boy was then, by an easy transition, directed to the 
 stars. He manifested increasing interest, as some 
 simple but striking remarks were made upon the 
 facts which astronomy has taught us. From this 
 the mind of the boy was led to heaven.* He stood 
 gazing upon the stars, as the gentleman spoke of 
 the world of glory and the mansions which Christ 
 
124 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 has gone to prepare. He listened with subdued 
 feelings and breathless attention, as he had unfold- 
 ed to him the awful scene of judgment. By this 
 time his mind was prepared for direct allusion to 
 his own sins. He was attentive and respectful, 
 while he was kindly but most earnestly entreated 
 to prepare to meet Christ in judgment. The effect 
 produced upon the mind of this wicked lad was 
 evidently most powerful. Whether it were lasting 
 or not, the gentleman had no opportunity to ascer- 
 tain. But by taking advantage of the stillness of 
 the evening, and the impressiveness of the scene, 
 the turbulent spirit of that boy was, for the time at 
 least, quelled. Religious instruction was commu- 
 nicated to his tviUing mind. And probably he wiL 
 often, while a wanderer upon the ocean, gaze upon 
 the stars in his midnight watches, and think of 
 judgment and of heaven. 
 
 How often can a mother seize upon some similar 
 occasion, and instruct, while at the same time she 
 most deeply interests and most effectually impresses 
 the mind of her child. 
 
 5. Avoid inappropriate occasion?,. There are 
 times when serious injury is done by urging the 
 claims of religion. Your child is angry. His flush- 
 ed cheek and violent motions show the sinful irri- 
 tation of his mind. Shall the mother now converse 
 with him upon the wickedness of these feelings and 
 God's displeasure? No. It is unseasonable, It 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. ' 125 
 
 would be as unavailing as to converse with, a mad- 
 man, or one intoxicated. Punish him for his irrita' 
 tion in some way which will soothe his feelings and 
 lead him to reflection. But wait till these passions 
 have subsided before you attempt to reason with 
 him upon their impropriety, and to lead him to 
 evangelical repentance. Kneel by his bedside in 
 the silence of his chamber, and in the pensive hour 
 of evening. When his mind is calm, and passion 
 is not triumphing over reason, he will hear you, 
 and may be melted to contrition. When Peter 
 denied his Master, he did it with cursing and 
 swearing. But when" his fears had subsided, and 
 the hour of reflection came, with a sad heart he 
 entered the hall of Pilate. Then did a single glance 
 from the Saviour pierce his heart, "and he went 
 out and wept bitterly." 
 
 A child is highly excited with pleasurable emo- 
 tions. His attention is so highly engrossed by the 
 immediate object of his enjoyment, that it is almost 
 impossible to draw his thoughts to any other subject. 
 If, under these circumstances, an effort is made to 
 convince him of the uncertainty of human enjoy- 
 ments, of his own sinfulness, of the need of a 
 Saviour, the effort will not only, in all probability, 
 be unavailing, but the subject will be so unwel 
 come as to excite disgust. There are times when 
 the mind is prepared with gratitude to receive re- 
 ligious instruction. Let such be improved. There 
 
126 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 are others when the mind is manifestly so engrossed 
 in one all-absorbing subject that it is in vain to 
 present any other. If you would not connect 
 religion with unpleasant associations, and excite 
 repugnance, do not on such occasions obtrude this 
 subject. 
 
 If a gunner should enter a forest and walk along 
 loading and firing at random, he might accidentally 
 get some game, but most assuredly he would fright- 
 en away far more than he would secure. If a 
 parent, with blind and unthinking zeal, is inces- 
 santly throwing out random remarks, she may by 
 chance produce the desired effect. She will, how- 
 ever, more frequently excite opposition, and confirm 
 rebellion, than lead to penitence and prayer. 
 
 Guard against long and tedious conversations. 
 The mind of a child cannot be fixed for any great 
 length of time upon one subject without exhaustion. 
 Every word that is uttered after there are manifesta- 
 tions of weariness, will do more harm than good. 
 If a mother will exercise her own judgment, and 
 gather wisdom from her own observation, she will 
 soon acquire that facility in adapting her instruc- 
 tions which will have the best tendency to improve 
 her child. No rules can supersede the necessity of 
 personal watchfulness and reflection. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 127 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 REIIG-IOUS INSTRUCTION— CONTINUED. 
 
 The views which are generally entertained of 
 heaven are far more indefinite than they need be- 
 This home of the blessed is described in the Bible 
 with the most magnificent imagery nature affords. 
 Heaven is spoken of as having a distinct locality, 
 just as much as is London or Paris, or any place on 
 earth. We hear of the splendor of the golden city, 
 adorned with every beauty with which the hand of 
 Omnipotence can embellish it; of the mansions 
 glittering with architectural magnificence. We are 
 informed of the social enjoyments of that world. 
 The Christian is introduced to the society of angels ; 
 converses with them; unites in their enjoyments; 
 becomes a loved member of their happy community. 
 We are informed of the active delights of heaven. 
 Angel bands fly to and fro, the rejoicing messengers 
 of God. They unfold their wings and take their 
 rapid flight where all the glories of the universe 
 allure their curiosity, and where no darkness suc- 
 ceeds the splendor of ceaseless day. The joys of 
 sense are described. The eye gazes full and im- 
 dazzled upon the brightness of God's throne. The 
 ear is charmed with melody. The body of the 
 
128 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Christian is to arise from the grave, incorruptible 
 and immortal. There is the union of soul and body 
 in that happy world. There we meet our Christian 
 friends; recognize them; rejoice in their love 
 Thus we pass our eternity with songs, and ever- 
 lasting joy upon our heads, where sorrow and sighing 
 for ever flee away. 
 
 How vivid and impressive are the views which 
 the pen of inspiration gives of the Christian's future 
 abode. Yet the very common idea entertained of 
 heaven is, that it is a vast aerial expanse, where 
 shadowy and unsubstantial spirits repose in myste- 
 rious and indefinable enjoyment. There is, indeed, 
 with many individuals, an impression that it is 
 almost wicked to associate ideas of joy with which 
 we now are familiar with that celestial abode. But 
 is it not safe, is it not a duty, to be guided in our 
 instructions by the Bible? Admitting that the de- 
 scriptions of the Bible are figurative, as they of 
 necessity must be, still these are the figures which 
 God has employed to convey to our minds an idea 
 of the joys of heaven. And-God would surely select 
 the most appropriate figures and those which most 
 nearly resemble the enjoyments to be illustrated. 
 
 1. Therefore it is our privilege and our duty to 
 describe heaven to our children as God has described 
 it to us. Thus may we give it vividness in their 
 minds. Thus may we excite in their youthful 
 bosoms the most intense desire to enter that happy 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 129 
 
 world. And why has God unfolded its glories but 
 to allure to holiness and entice us home ? Your son 
 has an unusual thirst for knowledge. His curiosity- 
 is ever on the alert. He is prying into nature's 
 mysterious movements, and asking questions which 
 the human mind cannot answer. Tell him that 
 there are no limits to human improvements; that 
 the grave cannot enchain the energies of mind ; 
 that time cannot circumscribe its range ; that eter- 
 nity cannot weary its powers ; that it will advance 
 in its acquisitions, and soar in its flight, long after 
 suns and moons and stars shall have waxed old 
 and decayed. Tell him that in heaven he shall 
 understand all the wonders of God's works, and 
 experience the most exquisite delight as he looks 
 into and comprehends all the machinery of nature. 
 And then you can tell him of the Saviour, who 
 died that he might introduce him to this happy 
 world. Your daughter has an ear charmed with 
 the melody of sound. Music is to her a source of 
 exquisite enjoyment. Is there no music in heaven ? 
 Is there no melody in the "chorus of the skies?" 
 Is there nothing enrapturing to the soul while unit- 
 ing with angel hands in their hallelujahs? God 
 has thus described heaven to us. Why should we 
 not then animate our children with the same de- 
 scription? You may in familiar language carry 
 the thoughts of your daughter away to companies 
 of happy angels, with celestial harps and divine 
 
 Mother at Home. 9 
 
130 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 voices rolling their notes of joy through heaven's 
 wide concave. Thus will she have some definite 
 idea of the enjoyments to which she is invited. 
 The joys of heaven will be to her intensely allur- 
 ing ; and she will he led to inquire more earnestly 
 into the way of salvation, and with more fervor to 
 implore God's aid to overcome sin and prepare her 
 for a heavenly home. 
 
 Your child has an affectionate disposition, a heart 
 open to receive friendship, and to pour forth its love 
 Tell him of the love of heaven, of God, of the 
 angels. Tell him of the love which animates the 
 bosoms of those noble spirits who have not a single 
 fault to repel attachment. Tell him of again meet- 
 ing all his friends who love the Saviour, in that 
 world where an unkind word, or an unkind look, or 
 an unkind thought is unknown. And as you dwell 
 upon the proofs of a Saviour's love, his heart may 
 be melted. 
 
 Is your child passionately fond of nature's scene- 
 ry ? Does he look with a poet's eye upon the ocean, 
 upon the starry canopy, upon the gilded clouds of 
 sunset ? There surely is magnificence in the scene- 
 ry of heaven. There is splendor worth beholding 
 in the visions of angels, the throne of God, the 
 wide-spread universe of countless worlds. What is 
 the ocean but a drop sprinkled from the almighty 
 hand ? What is Niagara, to us so magnificent, but 
 a tiny rivulet rippling over its pebbly channel ? 
 
 / 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 131 
 
 Animate your child with the description of those 
 glories of heaved, before which all the sublimity 
 of earth sinks to insignificance. Fear not that this 
 will extinguish in his bosom a taste for nature's 
 beauties. It will, while increasing the enjoyment 
 he derives from these sources, refine and elevate his 
 mind, and give him ardent desires to be prepared 
 for this world of glory. Fear not that this will 
 strengthen in his heart the principles of selfishness 
 instead of leading him to piety. If God had felt 
 mch fears, he never would have presented us the 
 allurements of heaven, or the terrors of hell. Pre- 
 sent these joys, that your child may be induced by 
 them to repent of sin, to trust in the Saviour, and 
 to consecrate life to his service. 
 
 These descriptions are necessarily in some degree 
 figurative, and we must so instruct our children. 
 But we must not neglect the use of these figures, 
 for they convey to the mind the most correct con- 
 ception that can be attained of the enjoyment of the 
 future world. The fact that God has selected them, 
 proves that no other language can be equally appro- 
 priate. They describe, as perfectly as human lan- 
 guage can describe, the nature of heaven's enjoy- 
 ments. But they do not come up to the reality ; 
 for eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor human 
 heart conceived, the joys which God has prepared 
 for those who love him. 
 
 God knows how to adapt instruction to the hu- 
 
132 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 man mind. We must imitate his example. And 
 we must present heaven to our children as God has 
 presented it to us, crowded with images of delight. 
 The purest and noblest joys we experience on earth 
 will be found again in that world, only infinitely 
 elevated and refined. And he must adopt singular 
 principles of interpretation, who does not read in 
 the Bible, that in heaven we shall find splendor of 
 scenery, harmony of music, congeniality of com- 
 panions, ardor of love, delight of active motion, 
 mansions of glory, and homes of never- failing bliss. 
 Let us urge these views upon our children till their 
 hearts are warmed by them. Nothing can have a 
 stronger tendency to convince of the folly of laying 
 up treasures upon earth. And this will lead them 
 to listen with interest, to learn how salvation is to 
 be obtained. 
 
 2. Divell particularly upon the Saviour. The 
 Scriptures declare that the preaching of Christ 
 crucified is the powerful instrument which God uses 
 in convincing of sin, and leading to penitence and 
 gratitude. And the history of the church in all 
 ages has shown that the history of a Saviour's love 
 and death will awaken contrition and melt the 
 heart, when all other appeals are in vain. Your 
 child will listen, with tearful eye, while you tell 
 of the Saviour's elevation in heaven, of his becom- 
 ing man, of the sufferings and persecution of his 
 life, and of his cruel death upon the cross. And 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 133 
 
 when you tell your child that it was God who thus 
 became manifest in the flesh, and suffered these 
 indignities that he might redeem his sinful crea- 
 tures from woe, you will convey to the tender mind 
 such an idea of God's kindness, and the ingratitude 
 of sinners, as nothing else can produce. The phi- 
 losopher may admire the nohle conception of the 
 eternal, incomprehensible, invisible Spirit; but it 
 is God, as manifested in the compassionate, gentle, 
 and suffering Saviour, who attracts the sympathies 
 of the heart. A definite idea is introduced to the 
 youthful mind, when you speak of him who took 
 little children in his arms and blessed them. Every 
 Christian can judge, from the effect produced upon 
 his own heart by the recital of a Saviour's love, of 
 the tendency it has to awaken in the bosom of a 
 child the deepest emotions of contrition and grati- 
 tude. It is very observable, in all the accounts of 
 youthful piety, that the Saviour is the prominent 
 object of affection. 
 
 Any person will be interested in turning over the 
 pages of almost any pious child's biography, to wit- 
 ness how strong the impression which a Saviour's 
 love produces upon the heart. Even under the 
 most adverse circumstances, the youthful heart has 
 found its way to him. Not a few instances have 
 occurred, in which parents, who have not been 
 accustomed to give prominency to the Saviour in 
 their instructions, have been surprised to find that 
 
134 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Jesus Christ is the sympathizing friend to whom a 
 child, in sickness and in suffering, has most affec- 
 tionately clung. God in Christ has attractions 
 which nothing else can have. 
 
 When little Nathan Dickerman was asked, 
 " What do you love to think ahout most when you 
 are in pain?" 
 
 "The Lord Jesus Christ," he answered. 
 
 At another time his biographer records, "Nathan 
 is very sick to-night. His heart is beating most 
 violently and rapidly, while the pulse can hardly 
 be perceived at the wrist. But he says he is more 
 happy than usual. I asked him why. He replied, 
 
 "'Because my Saviour is nearer.' 
 
 "Being asked which was his favorite hymn; he 
 thought a moment, and repeated, 
 
 "'One there is above all others 
 
 Well deserves the name of friend; 
 His is love beyond a brother's, 
 Costly, free, and knows no end. 
 
 Which of all our friends, to save us, 
 Could or would have shed his blood? 
 
 But this Saviour died to have us 
 Reconciled in him to God.' 
 
 "The remembrance of what the Saviour suffered 
 sustained him in all his sufferings. Redeeming 
 love was the theme of his sweetest meditations. 
 
 "One day, some one was mentioning in the room, 
 that his disease was of such a nature that he would 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 135 
 
 probably die suddenly. Nathan heard it, and rising 
 ap in the bed, clasped his hands together, and re- 
 peated the verse, 
 
 " 'Jesus can make a dying bed 
 
 Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
 While on his breast I lean my head, 
 And breathe my soul out sweetly there.' 
 
 "And after sitting a few moments in silence, he 
 added another : \J 
 
 "'Jesus, my God, I know his name, 
 His name is all my trust ; 
 Nor will he put my soul to shame, 
 Nor let my hope be lost.' 
 
 '"Isn't that a good hope, Ma?' " 
 
 We might open to almost any memoir of early 
 piety, in illustration of this principle. And indeed 
 every one who is familiar with the characteristics 
 o£ devotional feeling, as they are exemplified in the 
 mind of a child, must have observed the wonderful 
 adaptation of religious truth to our weakness and 
 frailty. 
 
 Let parents, therefore, imitate the apostles, and 
 preach to their children a suffering Saviour. Show 
 them God in Christ, reconciling the world to him- 
 self. This is the simplicity of the gospel. Indeed, 
 we can hardly conceive it possible for the affections 
 of a child to cling with ardor to any object, of 
 which it cannot form some definite conception. 
 Tell your child of Christ, who created him ; of 
 
136 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Christ, who became man, and suffered and died to 
 save him; of Christ, before whose judgment-seat 
 he must soon appear ; of Christ, whose praises the 
 Christian will sing in heaven, ages without end. 
 Thus is God, if I may so express it, simirtified to 
 the comprehension of the child. The mother who 
 does not often present this Saviour, and dwell upon 
 the story of his sufferings and death, has not yet 
 learnt the simplicity and power of the gospel. All 
 other motives are feeble, compared with this. You 
 may search the world of fact and of imagination in 
 vain for any motive calculated to produce so deep 
 an impression upon the mind. And every thing in 
 this astonishing occurrence has -a tendency to pro- 
 mote humility and penitence and love. I dwell 
 the more earnestly upon this point, for it appears 
 to me of primary importance. It is the all-avail- 
 ing instrument which God has given to subdue the 
 power of sin in the heart. 
 
 3. Pray ivith you?- children. It is not only the 
 duty of a mother to pray for her children, but when 
 they are young, to pray with them. Let them hear 
 your fervent supplications that God will make them 
 his friends. Let them see that your desires are 
 intense that they may be preserved from sin, and 
 prepared for heaven. The feelings which animate 
 the bosom of the mother will, by sympathy, in 
 some degree be transferred to the bosoms of the 
 children. These scenes of devotion will long be 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 137 
 
 remembered. And if your efforts and your prayers 
 are not answered with the early evidences of your 
 children's piety, these hours of devotion will leave 
 a trace upon the memory never to he effaced. 
 Through all succeeding years they will operate as 
 restraints from plunging into guilty excess, and as 
 monitions of conscience calling loudly to repent- 
 ance and virtue. 
 
 It is reported of a man eminent for his talents, 
 his elevated situation in life, and his dissipation, 
 that one evening, while sitting at the gaming-table, 
 he was observed to be unusually sad. His asso- 
 ciates rallied him upon his serious aspect. He 
 endeavored, by rousing himself, and by sallies of 
 wit, which he had always at command, to turn 
 away their attention, and throw off the transient 
 gloom. Not many moments transpired before he 
 seemed again lost in thought, and dejected by some 
 mournful contemplations. This exposed him so 
 entirely to the ridicule of his companions, that he 
 could not defend himself. As they poured in upon 
 him their taunts and jeers, he at last remarked, 
 "Well, to tell the truth, I cannot help thinking, 
 every now and then, of the prayers my mother, 
 used to offer for me at my bedside when I was a 
 child. Old as I am, I cannot forget the impressions 
 of those early years." Here was a man of highly 
 cultivated mind, and of talents of so high an order 
 as to give him influence and eminence, notwith- 
 
138 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 standing his dissolute life, and yet neither lapse oi 
 years, nor acquisitions of knowledge, nor crowding 
 cares, nor scenes of dissipation could obliterate the 
 effect which a mother's devotions had left upon his 
 mind. The still small voice of a mother's prayers 
 rose above the noise of guilty revelry. The pious 
 mother, though dead, still continued to speak in 
 impressive rebuke to her dissolute son. Many facts 
 might be introduced illustrating the importance of 
 this duty. The following is so much to the point, 
 and affords such cheering encouragement, that I 
 cannot refrain from relating it. 
 
 A few years since, a gentleman from England 
 brought a letter of introduction to a gentleman in 
 this country. The stranger was of accomplished 
 mind and manners, but in sentiment an infidel. 
 The gentleman to whom he brought letters of in- 
 troduction, and his lady, were active Christian 
 philanthropists. They invited the stranger to make 
 their house his home, and treated him with every 
 possible attention. Upon the evening of his ar- 
 rival, just before the usual hour for retiring, the 
 gentleman, knowing the peculiarity of his guest's 
 sentiments, observed to him that the hour had ar- 
 rived in which they usually attended family prayers ; 
 that he should be happy to have him remain and 
 unite with them, or, if he preferred, he could retire. 
 The gentleman intimated that it would give him 
 pleasure to remain. A chapter of the Bible was 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 139 
 
 read, and the family all knelt in prayer, the stranger 
 with the rest. In a few days the stranger left this 
 hospitable dwelling, and embarked on board a ship 
 for a foreign land. In the course of three or four 
 years, however, the providence of God again led 
 that stranger to the same dwelling. But 0, how 
 changed ! He came the happy Christian, the hum- 
 ble man of piety and prayer. In the course of the 
 evening's conversation he remarked, that when he, 
 on the first evening of his previous visit, knelt with 
 them in family prayer, it was the first time for 
 many years that he had bowed the knee to his 
 Maker. This act brought to his mind such a crowd 
 of recollections, it so vividly reminded him of a 
 parent's prayers which he had heard at home, that 
 it completely absorbed his attention. His emotioi? 
 was so great that he did not hear one syllable of 
 the prayer which was uttered, from its commence- 
 ment to its close. And God made this the instru- 
 ment of leading him from the dreary wilds of infi- 
 delity to the peace and the joy of piety. His par- 
 ents, I believe, had long before gone home to their 
 rest ; but the prayers they had offered for and with 
 their son, had left an influence which could not die. 
 They might have prayed ever so fervently for him, 
 but if they had not prayed with him, if they had not 
 knelt by his side and caused his listening ear to hear 
 their earnest supplications, their child might have" 
 continued through life unreconciled to his Maker. 
 
140 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 There is efficacy in prayer. God hears and 
 answers our requests. But he does this in accord- 
 ance with the laws which he has estahlished. It 
 is presumption to expect that he will interrupt the 
 harmony of those laws. He acts through them. 
 And we should endeavor to accommodate all our 
 efforts to the known habits of mind — to present those 
 motives which have a tendency to influence. God 
 answered the prayers of these pious parents, but he 
 did it through the instrumentality of the very effort 
 they were making in asking him to bless their son. 
 
 4. Teach your children to pray themselves. It 
 may be very useful to teach a child the Lord's 
 prayer and other simple forms. And a child may 
 thus really pray — give utterance to his own feelings 
 in the language of another. But this cannot super- 
 sede the necessity of teaching him to go and thanl 
 God for all the nameless enjoyments of the day, and 
 to ask forgiveness for the various faults he may 
 have committed. The minds of children dwell 
 upon particulars. They are not in habits of gen- 
 eralizing. It requires but little feeling to confess 
 that we are sinners ; but to specify individual acts 
 of wickedness demands a much greater exercise of 
 humility. And a general recognition of God's good- 
 ness affects the mind very differently from the enu- 
 meration of particular mercies. It is therefore 
 important that your child should be taught to 
 review the events of each day at its close. He 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 14] 
 
 should be reminded of the mercies received, and 
 the faults committed ; and he taught to express 
 gratitude for the one, and implore pardon for the 
 other. The return of a father from a journey has 
 given your children an evening of very unusual 
 enjoyment. When they retire for the night, allude 
 to the happy evening they have passed. Tell them 
 it was God who preserved their father's life, and 
 , returned him safely home. And having thus ex- 
 cited real gratitude in their hearts, lead them to 
 express this gratitude in their own simple and art- 
 less language. By thus pointing their attention to 
 prominent facts and individual blessings, they will 
 not only acquire facility in prayer, but be most 
 effectually taught their entire dependence upon God. 
 Care should also be taken not to overlook the ordi- 
 nary blessings of life. It is a rainy day. Show 
 God's goodness in sending the rain. Let them see 
 distinctly, that their Father in heaven does it that 
 his children may have food to eat. It is night. 
 Show them the consequences which would result 
 if God should never again cause the sun to rise and 
 shine upon them. They have received some need- 
 ful clothes. Show them how God makes the wool 
 grow, that they may be warm. Every mother can 
 present innumerable such contemplations, which 
 will enlarge their field of thought, increase their 
 knowledge of God, promote gratitude, and give a 
 facility in prayer which will be to them a perma- 
 
142 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 nent and valuable acquisition. Let it not be said 
 that this requires a degree of knowledge and skill 
 which but few parents possess. The chief difficulty 
 to be surmounted is the feeling which so many 
 parents entertain that they have not time. But 
 the mother who feels the importance of this sub- 
 ject as it deserves to be felt, will find time to be 
 faithful with her children, whatever else she may 
 be under the necessity of neglecting. The same 
 course should be pursued in confession of sin. By 
 pointing to these mercies you may easily convince 
 your child of its want of suitable gratitude. Per- 
 haps he has, during the day, been guilty of falsehood, 
 or disobedience, or anger. Point to the definite 
 case, and lead your child to confess it before God, 
 and ask forgiveness. "VYe will suppose that your 
 son has been irritated, and struck his sister. Be- 
 fore he falls asleep, you remind him of his sin, 
 Show him how wicked it was, and how displeased 
 God must be. Tell him that when he is asleep he 
 will die, unless God keeps him alive. Under such 
 instructions almost every child would desire to ask 
 forgiveness, and probably would offer some such 
 prayer as this: "0 God, I am very wicked. 1 
 struck my sister. I am very sorry, and will never 
 do so again. God, forgive me, for Jesus Christ's 
 sake." This would be prayer, if offered from the 
 heart ; and if, after it had been offered, the mothei 
 should kneel by the bedside, and confess the sin oi 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 143 
 
 her child, and pray that God would forgive him, in 
 all probability the intended effect of prayer would 
 be accomplished. The offender would be penitent, 
 and the sin forgiven. For these reasons, it is a 
 most obvious duty to teach children to express their 
 own feelings in their own language. And the care- 
 ful mother may make this exercise one of the most 
 efficient instruments in teaching her child obedience 
 here, and in training it up for holiness and happi- 
 ness hereafter. 
 
 Parents are apt to smile at the childish expres- 
 sions which children make use of in prayer, and 
 sometimes fear that their language is irreverent. 
 But God looks simply at the sincerity of the peti- 
 tion, at its importance in the mind of the petitioner. 
 A little child of two and a half years prayed, 
 "Lord, help me to laugh and not to cry when 
 mother washes me in the morning." And does not 
 God look with as kind a regard upon the humble 
 request of this little child, as he does upon the 
 fervent petitions of the man who implores support 
 under some painful operation, or strength to over- 
 come an irritable spirit? Such a request, coming 
 spontaneously from the heart of a child, is genuine, 
 prayer, and it shows a state of feeling which ought 
 at all times to be cherished. 
 
 5. Expect that your child will become a Christian, 
 That heart which is susceptible of sorrow and 01 
 love, is capable of evangelical repentance and love 
 
144 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 to God No one can doubt but that, at a very 
 early period in life, a child has all the powers 
 which are employed in the exercise of true religion. 
 Neither can there be any doubt that at that early 
 period the mind is more susceptible of impression, 
 the hold of the world is more feeble, and the current 
 of affection may be more easily turned to God. 
 And facts do hold forth most abundant encourage- 
 ment. How many little memoirs have recently 
 been issued from the press, which have told the 
 affecting tale of youthful piety. Children of five 
 or six years of age have given the most gratifying 
 evidence of attachment to the Saviour. They have 
 endured pain, and met death, sustained by the con- 
 solations of religion. Such facts have been too 
 numerous and too decisive to allow unbelief to be 
 longer excusable. And yet it is to be feared that 
 many parents do not feel their immediate responsi- 
 bility. They still cherish the impression that their 
 children must attain maturity before they can be 
 decidedly penitent for sin, and the friends of God. 
 But the ^mother who entertains such feelings as 
 these, is guilty of the most cruel injustice to her 
 child. It is almost impossible that she should be 
 vigilant and faithful in her efforts, unless she ex- 
 pects success. Every mother ought to engage in 
 the duties of religious instruction, with the con- 
 fident expectation that God will accompany her 
 exertions with his blessing. She ought even to feel 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 145 
 
 that if her child does not give early evidence of 
 piety, much of the blame rests with her. The 
 Christian experience of the child will undoubtedly 
 differ from that of the man who has passed many 
 years in sin, whose habits are firmly fixed, and 
 whose affections have long been flowing in the 
 channel of worldliness. With such a person the 
 struggle of turning to holiness will often be great, 
 and the sense of sin distressingly intense. But the 
 period of your child's conversion may be at so early 
 a stage of its existence as to leave no trace by which 
 the time of the change can be remembered. The 
 struggle will be comparatively feeble, and penitence 
 will be manifested by the tearful eye and the sad 
 heart, and not always by that deep agony of spirit 
 which not unfreqnently marks the change of those 
 who have grown old in sin. 
 
 Much injury is often done by laying stress upon 
 the time when one becomes a Christian. Past feel- 
 ings are at best but an uncertain test of Christian 
 character. The great object of inquiry should be 
 as to present feelings and conduct. Is the life now 
 in accordance with the requirements of the gospel ? 
 Is the heart now affected with humility and peni- 
 tence and gratitude ? Is the resolution now strong 
 to live for God ? If the sun is shining warmly upon 
 us, it is of but little consequence at what moment 
 it arose. There are many Christians who cannot 
 recollect the time when they became subjects of the 
 
 Mother at Hosae. 1 
 
146 THE MOTHER AT HOME 
 
 new birth. Be not, therefore, anxious on this point. 
 Indeed, by directing the attention of your child to 
 any particular time when it became a Christian, 
 there is danger of leading the mind to rely upon 
 the supposed experience of that moment, rather 
 than upon continued penitence and devotion. And 
 therefore let every mother do all in her power to 
 awaken in the bosoms of her children emotions of 
 sorrow for sin, and reliance upon Christ. And 
 when she finds these feelings in the heart, and con- 
 trolling the life, let her thank God and take cour- 
 age. She must watch with maternal solicitude, 
 that temptation be avoided, and that the feeble 
 flame burn brighter and brighter. Christ has in- 
 trusted this beloved object to your guardianship. 
 Why should not a mother confidently expect this 
 result to follow her efforts ? Has not God encour- 
 aged her thus to hope, by promising to aid with his 
 blessing? Has he not encouraged, by again and 
 again crowning such efforts with success? Away 
 then with unbelief. To doubt is to distrust the 
 promise of God. Instruct your child, and pray for 
 your child, and look for an immediate blessing. 
 Thus, in all probability, will your heart be made 
 glad by the fruits of early piety at your fireside ; 
 grateful children will honor you through life, and 
 the joys of heaven will be enhanced by meeting 
 your loved ones there. 
 
 6. Do not speak to others of the piety of yout 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 147 
 
 child. Great injury is thus often done. A child 
 becomes deeply interested in the subject of religion, 
 and his friends are encouraged to hope that he has 
 really become a Christian. They speak of it to 
 others. It is soon publicly known. He receives 
 much attention; is caressed and flattered. Thus 
 is this little child thrown at once into the ver) 
 hottest furnace of temptation. "We might refer to 
 many painful illustrations of this truth in the me- 
 moirs of early piety. 
 
 Says the biographer of little Nathan Dickerman, 
 " His feelings were often wounded by the injudicious 
 conversation which was too often held in his pres- 
 ence. 
 
 "Kind friends indulged in what were perhaps 
 well-meant, though sadly ill-judged, remarks in his 
 presence. And it is most deeply to be regretted 
 that parents and friends so often, inconsiderately 
 no doubt, speak before children in praise of thoir 
 persons, in a manner that inevitably fosters vanity, 
 which injures their usefulness and happiness as long 
 as they live. 
 
 "Nathan's ear was often greeted with, Beautiful 
 boy ! Remarkable boy ! What a fine countenance ! 
 Certainly the most wonderful case I ever heard of! 
 The half had not been told me." 
 
 It is remarkable that while exposed to such 
 temptations, real humility could have been pre« 
 served. And though the grace of God sustained 
 
148 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 this lovely child, but few would have escaped un- 
 injured. 
 
 How often is even the Christian minister sensibly 
 affected by flattery ! And can a child safely receive 
 such marked attentions? An honest development 
 of facts upon this subject would be exceedingly 
 painful. Humility is one of the cardinal virtues of 
 Christianity. The moment an impression is con- 
 veyed to the mind that there is something remark- 
 able and meritorious in penitence for sin and love 
 for God, the heart is elated with pride. And then 
 things are said, and actions performed, to attract 
 attention. Prayers are offered, and feelings of piety 
 expressed, from the love of ostentation; and the 
 child is "spoiled." Preserve your child from these 
 temptations by giving no publicity to his feelings. 
 Carefully cherish at home the flame which is kin- 
 dled in his bosom. Under your protection, let him 
 acquire strength of principle and stability of char- 
 acter. Gradually introduce him to the more public 
 duties of the Christian life. Teach him humility. 
 Preserve his childlike spirit. In this manner you 
 may lead him along to be a humble, and at the 
 same time an active and ardent follower of Christ. 
 
RESULTS. J49 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 RESULTS. 
 
 Frequent allusion has been made in the preced- 
 ing chapters, to the fatal consequences which must 
 attend the neglect of duty. In view of this, some 
 parents may have been oppressed and dejected. It 
 is most surely true that the misconduct of children 
 subjects parents to the utmost intensity of suffer- 
 ing. But it must be remembered, that when paren- 
 tal faithfulness is attended with its usual blessing, 
 joys nearer akin to those of heaven than of earth 
 are the result. The human heart is not susceptible 
 of more exquisite pleasures than the parental rela- 
 tion affords. Is there no joy when the mother first 
 presses her infant to her heart ? Is there no delight 
 in witnessing the first placid smile which plays upon 
 its cheek? Yes ; the very earliest infancy of the 
 babe brings "rapture a mother only knows." The 
 very care is a delight. And when your little son 
 has passed through the dreamy existence of infancy, 
 and is buoyant with the activity and animated 
 with the intelligence of childhood, are not new 
 sources of pleasure opened to your mind ? Are there 
 no thrilling emotions of enjoyment in hearing the 
 hearty laugh of your happy boy ; in witnessing the 
 
150 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 unfoldings of his active mind ; in feeling his warm 
 kiss and ardent embrace? Is there no delight in 
 seeing your boy run to meet you, with his face full 
 of smiles and his heart full of love ; and in hearing 
 him, in lisping accents, call you mother? As you 
 receive daily new proofs of his affection and obedi 
 ence, and see that his little bosom is animated with 
 a generous and a noble spirit, you feel repaid a 
 hundred-fold for all your pain, anxiety, and toil. 
 After a few years your children arrive at maturity, 
 and with that divine blessing which we may expect 
 to accompany our prayerful efforts, they will be 
 found with generous affections and established prin- 
 ciples of piety. With what emotions do parents 
 then look around upon their happy and prosperous 
 family. They are receiving the earthly recompense 
 of reward. What an affecting sight it is, to see an 
 aged and widowed mother leaning upon the firm 
 arm of her son, as he accompanies her to the house 
 of God. And how many parents have had their 
 declining years cheered by the affectionate atten- 
 tions of a daughter. Who will so tenderly watch 
 over you in sickness as a daughter whose bosom is 
 animated by the principles of piety which you have 
 inculcated? Among the sweetest earthly joys to 
 be experienced in old age, is the joy of looking 
 around upon happy and grateful children. The 
 marks of esteem and love you receive from them, 
 will daily be rewarding you for all your toil. And 
 
RESULTS. 151 
 
 when your children's children cluster around you, 
 giving unceasing tokens of respect and affection, 
 you will find in their caresses the renewal of your 
 youth. When all other earthly joys have faded, 
 you will find in the little prattlers of the fireside 
 untiring enjoyment. 
 
 But there is a scene of still brighter happiness. 
 The Christian family will meet again. Parents 
 and children will be associated in heaven. And 
 when the whole household are happily assembled 
 there ; when they sit down together in the green 
 pastures and by the still waters ; when they go in 
 and out at the mansions which God has prepared 
 for them, then, and not till then, will they expe- 
 rience the fulness of the enjoyment with which 
 God rewards parental fidelity. How full of rap- 
 ture is the thought, that the whole family may 
 meet again in the world of songs and everlasting 
 joy, where sorrow and sighing shall for ever flee 
 away. As from that happy state of existence you 
 look back upon your pilgrimage on earth, you can 
 never regret any amount of labor you have ex- 
 pended, any sacrifices you have made, any suffer- 
 ings you have undergone, to train up your children 
 to be with you the heirs of a glorious immortality. 
 there is enough, abundantly enough to encourage 
 every parent to unwearied exertions. As with the 
 deep emotions of parental love, you look upon the 
 obedient and affectionate children who surround 
 
152 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 your fireside, your thoughts may be carried away 
 to enjoyments infinitely richer, and for ever endur- 
 ing, in the world to come. 
 
 We may be called upon to follow our children to 
 the grave. And heart-rending is such an affliction. 
 But if we have reason to believe that they have 
 gone to the mansions which the Saviour has pre- 
 pared, much of the bitterness of the affliction is 
 taken away. They have gone home before us. 
 They are sheltered from every storm. They are 
 protected from every sorrow. Soaring in angelic 
 flights, and animated with celestial joys, they are 
 ready to welcome us when God in his own good 
 time shall give us entrance to those happy worlds. 
 A gentleman was once asked if he had lost any of 
 his children. "No," he replied; "I have two in 
 heaven, but have lost none." To a truly Christian 
 family, the death of any one of its members is but a 
 temporary absence, and not an eternal separation. 
 
 2. Mothers have as powerful an influence over 
 the tcelfare of future generations, as all other earthly 
 causes combined. Thus far the history of the world 
 has been composed of the narrations of oppression 
 and blood. War has scattered its unnumbered woes. 
 The cry of the oppressed has unceasingly ascended 
 to heaven. Where are we to look for the influence 
 which shall change this scene, and fill the earth 
 with the fruits of peace and benevolence ? It is to 
 the power of divine truth, to Christianity, as taught 
 
RESULTS. 153 
 
 from a mother's lips. In a vast majority of cases 
 the first six or seven years decide the character of 
 the man. If the boy leave the paternal roof un- 
 controlled, turbulent, and vicious, he will, in all 
 probability, rush on in the mad career of self-indul- 
 gence. There are exceptions, but these exceptions 
 are rare. If, on the other hand, your son goes 
 from home accustomed to control himself, he will 
 probably retain that habit through life. If he has 
 been taught to make sacrifices of his own enjoy- 
 ment that he may promote the happiness of those 
 around him, it may be expected that, he will con- 
 tinue to practise benevolence, and consequently will 
 be respected, and useful, and happy. If he has 
 adopted firm resolutions to be faithful in all the 
 relations in life, he, in all probability, will ' be a 
 virtuous man, an estimable citizen, and a bene- 
 factor of his race. 
 
 When our land is filled with pious and patriotic 
 mothers, then will it be filled with virtuous and 
 patriotic men. The world's redeeming influence, 
 under the blessing of the Holy Spirit, must come 
 from a mother's lips. She who was first in the 
 transgression, must be yet the principal earthly 
 instrument in the restoration. Other causes may 
 greatly aid. Other influences must be ready to 
 receive the mind as it comes from the mother's 
 hand, and carry it onward in its improvement. But 
 the mothers of our race must be the chief instru- 
 
154 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ments in its redemption. This sentiment will bear 
 examining ; and the more it is examined, the more 
 manifestly true will it appear. It is alike the dic- 
 tate of philosophy and experience. The mother 
 who is neglecting personal effort, and relying upon 
 other influences for the formation of virtuous char- 
 acter in her children, will find, when it is too late, 
 that she has fatally erred. The patriot, who hopes 
 that schools, and lyceums, and the general diffusion 
 of knowledge will promote the good order and hap- 
 piness of the community, while family government 
 is neglected, will find that he is attempting to purify 
 the streams which are flowing from a corrupt foun- 
 tain. It is maternal influence, after all, which must 
 be the great agent, in the hands of God, in bringing 
 back our guilty race to duty and happiness. 
 that mothers could feel this responsibility as they 
 ought. Then would the world assume a different 
 aspect. Then should we less frequently behold un- 
 happy families and broken-hearted parents. A new 
 race of men would enter upon the busy scene of life, 
 and cruelty and crime would pass away. mothers, 
 reflect upon the power your Maker has placed in 
 your hands. There is no earthly influence to be com- 
 pared with yours. There is no combination of causes 
 so powerful in promoting the happiness or the mis- 
 ery of our race, as the instructions of home. In a 
 most peculiar sense, God has constituted you the 
 guardians and the controllers of the human family. 
 
RESULTS. 155 
 
 3. Perhaps some one asks, "Is there nothing for 
 fathers to doV There certainly is much, very 
 much. But this treatise is prepared to impress upon 
 the mind the duties of mothers. Yet, lest it should 
 be inferred from what has been written, that the 
 whole duty of family government rests upon the 
 mother, I would briefly remark, that no father can 
 be excusable for releasing himself from a full share 
 of the responsibility. A father will often make 
 many excuses to release himself from his duty; 
 but alas, he cannot release his children from the 
 ruin, or himself from the woe, which his neglect 
 occasions. It will be a poor solace to him, as he 
 goes in shame and sorrow to the grave, to reflect 
 that he was busily engaged in other employments 
 while leaving his children to mature for ignominy 
 and disgrace. What duties can be paramount to 
 those we owe our children? A clergyman some- 
 times says he has so much to do, his time is so fully 
 occupied, that he is compelled to neglect his chil- 
 dren. And who has the first claim upon his atten- 
 tion, his congregation or his children? God has 
 placed him over a congregation, and has also made 
 him the father of a family, and which duty does 
 God regard as most imperative ? And yet not a 
 few instances might be pointed out, in which cler- 
 gymen of devoted piety and extensive usefulness, 
 have given their whole attention to the labors of the 
 study and public duties, and have left their unhappy 
 
156 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 children to grow up unchecked and vicious. No 
 one can enjoy the privilege of being a father, with- 
 out having duties to perform which will require 
 time and care. And can any time be more usefully 
 employed than that which is passed in training up 
 a family of children, who shall remain to do good 
 in the world long after we are silent in the grave ? 
 Can we have any influence equal to that of pious 
 sons and daughters ? Can we bequeath the world 
 a richer legacy than the fervent piety and active 
 usefulness of a numerous offspring? there i« no 
 sin which reaches so far, and extends such wide- 
 spreading desolation, as parental neglect. No fa- 
 ther can be guiltless in retiring from these respon- 
 sibilities. The first duty enjoined upon us, is to 
 keep our oivn hearts with diligence; the second, 
 to lead our families to God; the third, to consult 
 for the spiritual welfare of our neighbors; the 
 fourth, to do all in our power to evangelize the 
 world. And yet, how many Christian ministers 
 have paralyzed their influence, destroyed their 
 peace of mind, and broken their hearts, by neglect- 
 ing the duties they owe their children. 
 
 Many of the most eminent statesmen are thus 
 afflicted and dishonored. And the affliction must 
 be aggravated by the consciousness that they are 
 reaping as they have sown. I would not willingly 
 inflict a pang upon the heart of any parent who 
 reads these pages, but I cannot refrain from raising 
 
RESULTS. 157 
 
 a warning voice, in view of the destruction which 
 has gone forth, and is still going forth, from the cause 
 we are now contemplating. The temptation is very 
 great for men who are engaged in literary pursuits, 
 and overwhelmed with public cares, to neglect 
 their domestic duties. But how ruinous. is this to 
 usefulness and happiness. It is better to be a poor 
 man, and it is better to be a humble man, than to 
 be disgraced in life by the profligacy of those who 
 call us father,, and to have a dying pillow planted 
 with thorns by our children's hands. Every man, 
 whatever be his situation in life, is bound to re- 
 gard the duties he owes his children as among the 
 most sacred he has to discharge. If he neglect 
 them, he must reap the bitter consequences. 
 
 One other remark I must here make, as ,it is 
 intimately connected with a mother's duty. A 
 father should always endeavor to teach his children 
 to honor their mother. If the father does not do 
 this, the difficulties of the mother will be vastly 
 increased. But where harmony of design is seen 
 to v exist between the parents, authority is strength- 
 ened. There is something in loving and revering 
 a mother, which exerts a delightful influence upon 
 the heart; it refines and elevates the character, 
 and is a strong safeguard against degrading vice. 
 Boys in particular will not long respect a mother, 
 if they see that their father does not treat her with 
 attention. You can hardly find a dissolute young 
 
158 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 man, who has been accustomed from infancy to 
 look to his mother with respect and love. It is in 
 disobedience to a mother that the career of crime 
 generally commences. The way is thus prepared 
 for the disregard of all parental authority. And 
 then the progress is rapid to the boldest defiance of 
 all the laws of God and man. Many an unhappy 
 criminal has, from the gallows, "traced back his 
 course of guilt to the early periods of childhood, 
 when he commenced with disobedience to a moth- 
 er's commands ; and he has felt and acknowledged, 
 that had he then been habituated to obey, his whole 
 succeeding course had probably been different. It 
 is therefore of the first importance that nothing 
 should be omitted tending to give the mother great 
 and unceasing influence over the minds of her 
 children. 
 
 4. The subject of education must be attended to 
 with persevering study. • And yet how many parents 
 neglect this duty. Nothing surely can be of greater 
 importance to the parents and child, than a correct 
 system of family government. Every mother ad- 
 mits her need of information. There are many 
 valuable books easy of access, which will afford 
 great assistance. A mother should consider it one 
 of her first duties to inform herself upon this subject, 
 as far as her means will admit. The art of influ- 
 encing and guiding the youthful mind is susceptible 
 of almost boundless improvement, and we are un- 
 
RESULTS. 159 
 
 faithful to our children if we do not become familiar 
 with the results of the experiments of others. We 
 ought not to stumble in darkness, when light is 
 shining around us. There are fundamental princi- 
 ples in operating upon the human mind, as well as 
 in any other science. And many an anxious mother 
 has committed error to the serious injury of her 
 children, which she might have avoided, had she 
 consulted the sources of information which are at 
 every one's hand. 
 
 How great must be the affliction of that mother 
 who, in consequence of neglect, has been unsucces^ 
 ful with her family. She looks upon her ruined 
 sons, and reproaches herself with the just reflection, 
 that if she had pursued a different course they 
 might have been her joy and blessing. Perhaps 
 even they throw reproaches upon her, and attribute 
 all their guilt and wretchedness to her bad govern- 
 ment. But few more miserable men have passed 
 through the world than Lord Byron; and he has 
 distinctly attributed the formation of his character, 
 and consequently all his crime and woe, to his 
 mother's unrestrained passions, and neglect of proper 
 government. How must such a crimination from 
 a dissolute son pierce the heart of a pious mother. 
 Knowledge of duty might have been attained, but 
 she neglected to attain it, and through inexcusable 
 ignorance ruined her child. An affectionate mother 
 would be overwhelmed with anguish, if she had 
 
160 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ignorantly administered some poisonous drug, and 
 had seen her child in consequence expiring in agony ; 
 but how much more dreadful is it to see moral ruin 
 caused by our own criminal ignorance. Who would 
 not rather see a son or a daughter lie down in the 
 grave than see them in the wretchedness and dis- 
 grace of profligacy ? If we would preserve our 
 children, we must seek information respecting our 
 duties. 
 
 Reading, however, of itself is not sufficient. 
 There must be the expenditure of our own thoughts, 
 and the vigilance of personal observation. I once 
 knew a mother who kept a constant journal of the 
 progress of her child from his earliest infancy. She 
 careful] y noted down her more important acts of 
 discipline, and observed the effect which her course 
 produced upon the character of her child. With 
 more solicitude and vigilance than the physician 
 watches the effect of his prescriptions, did she watch 
 the effect of her moral remedies and antidotes. 
 His opening faculties, the developments of his affec- 
 tions, his constitutional temperament, his prominent 
 foibles, were made the subject of continued delib- 
 eration. They were committed to writing. Thus 
 was this mother gaining information more rapidly 
 than she could possibly gain it in any other way. 
 She was accustoming her own mind to independent 
 investigation and thought. Every day she was 
 gaining knowledge of the effect of different motives 
 
RESULTS. 161 
 
 upon the mind. And her influence over her child 
 was every day increasing. Now this looks like ma- 
 ternal fidelity. It shows that the mother feels her 
 need of information, and is anxious to acquire it. 
 And it shows that she is willing to make intellectual 
 effort herself, that she may be able to discharge 
 her duties. 
 
 Let any mother adopt such a course as this, and 
 she must be most rapidly advancing in the know- 
 ledge of guiding the youthful mind. When her 
 child first manifests irritation, let her write down 
 the course she pursued to allay that irritation, and 
 the success which attended her efforts. 
 
 I will give a specimen of what I suppose would 
 be the general character of such a journal. 
 
 Jan. 10, 1833. To-day Charles became very 
 angry with his sister and pushed her down. As a 
 punishment, I gave Mary an apple, and gave 
 Charles none. But I thought Charles seemed, 
 instead of being subdued, to be more envious and 
 vexed with his sister. 
 
 Jan. 15. Mary to-day treated her brother unkindly 
 I thought I would try a different course from that 
 I pursued with Charles. I called them both to me 
 and said, "Mary, God is displeased when he sees you 
 indulging such feelings. And now how can you ask 
 God to-night to take care of you, when you have 
 been disobeying him to-day ?" Having talked with 
 Ler a little while in this strain, she burst into tears 
 
 Mother at Home. 1 1 
 
162 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 and asked her brother's forgiveness. They were 
 soon playing again as happy and affectionate as 
 ever. Before Mary went to sleep to-night she asked 
 God's forgiveness, and promised that she would try 
 never to be angry again. I cannot but hope that 
 an impression was produced upon both their minds, 
 which will not soon be forgotten. 
 
 Jan. 18. Charles to-day accidentally broke a 
 valuable lamp. I fear that I unjustly blamed him. 
 I must endeavor to have my feelings under more 
 perfect control. 
 
 Jan. 22. Mary is beginning to manifest improper 
 fondness for dress. We have had much company 
 lately, and many have spoken to her about her 
 beautiful gown. I must dress her in such a manner 
 that she will not attract attention. 
 
 If some such course as this is pursued with per- 
 severance, great skill will certainly be acquired in 
 the art of governing. The mother must, in some 
 way, direct the energies of her own mind to this 
 subject. She must watch the peculiarities of the 
 dispositions of her children. She must think and 
 experiment for herself. 
 
 After writing the above, the following communi- 
 cation was placed in my hand. As it was written 
 by a mother who has long piactised upon the plan 
 here recommended, and who from her numerous 
 cares might, with more propriety than almost any 
 other parent, claim exemption from this duty, I with 
 
RESULTS. ]63 
 
 great pleasure insert it. It is the testimony of suc- 
 cessful experiment. 
 
 "Perhaps to some mothers it may at first appear 
 impossible to carry on, with any degree of system 
 or accuracy, any thing like a regular journal. It 
 is true, it would at first require some effort ; hut if 
 it would aid a mother in discharging her duties, 
 where is the conscientious parent who would shrink 
 from such an effort? There are many benefits to 
 be expected from such a record, and it should per- 
 haps be merely a record or note-book, that it may 
 not encroach too much upon the time of those 
 mothers who are obliged to devote a great propor- 
 tion of their time in attending to the domestic duties 
 of their families. 
 
 " The first benefit resulting to the mother herself, 
 would be the necessity of making some regular men- 
 tal effort. A young mother, surrounded with family 
 cares and duties, may feel at first as if she had no 
 time for mental and intellectual labor ; but ten 
 minutes every day devoted to such a purpose, would 
 soon convince her that her other duties are proba- 
 bly the better performed for such a diary. Her 
 duties to her children certainly will not be attended 
 to with less interest; and she is gradually fitting 
 herself, by such discipline, however trifling, to be 
 their teacher and guide. 
 
 "The habit of keeping such memoranda also 
 induces a mother to look with greater scrutiny into 
 
164 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 her own motives of action, into her principles of 
 family government, and to govern her own heart 
 and conduct, and cultivate more of a spirit which 
 every mother needs — a spirit of prayer. 
 
 " I am confident that, would mothers do this, mu- 
 tual benefit and assistance would be given to that 
 class of society to whom we must look for much of 
 the future happiness of the community. And many 
 a young parent would feel her hand strengthened, 
 and her heart lightened, in the cause of infant 
 instruction. 
 
 "The plan I would suggest might be something 
 like the following. 
 
 " 1. Notice the earliest developments of temper, 
 and give the result of simple experiments made to 
 subdue and conquer it. 
 
 " 2. Remark what things peculiarly interest your 
 child, and describe how you improve the oppor- 
 tunity of giving the child a moral and religious 
 lesson drawn from the object of interest. Show 
 the effect and result of such an impression. 
 
 "3. Describe the course pursued to insure obedi- 
 ence. State the difficulties, and how overcome. 
 * "4. Describe the course of first religious instruc- 
 tion, and what generally excites the strongest inter- 
 est in your child's mind. 
 
 "In this way you may assist many a trembling 
 mother in doing her duty ; and the result of an expe- 
 rience which perhaps it costs you but a few min* 
 
RESULTS. 165 
 
 utes of time to throw into a suitable form on paper, 
 will, through the pages of some religious magazine, 
 be circulated to the farthest parts of our country, 
 and be exerting a powerful influence on the hearts 
 of mothers — an inestimable one on the prospects, 
 both for time and eternity, of the rising generation." 
 
 The following is an extract from such a note- 
 book kept by a mother, and written without any 
 reference to its insertion here. 
 
 "Perhaps there are few dispositions which require 
 more judicious, firm, and steady management, in a 
 child, than that which is often ranked under obsti- 
 nacy or stubbornness. There is certainly no fault, 
 which if neglected, or allowed to gain strength, is 
 more likely to bring down the heart of a parent with 
 sorrow to the grave, and to insure to the child a 
 youth and manhood of wretchedness. It 'grows 
 with the growth, and strengthens with the strength.' 
 Yet I have heard more than one mother say, ' That 
 child is very obstinate ; he will have his own way, 
 and I suppose he is too young to understand now, 
 and frequent punishment only hardens the heart.' 
 A child cannot be too young to learn; that is, as 
 soon as a child begins to notice and watch the tones 
 of the voice and the expression of the countenance, 
 it is of an age to receive moral lessons. It is un- 
 doubtedly true, that in administering punishment, 
 care should be taken to do it in such a way that it 
 shall tend to soften and subdue the heart, not irri- 
 
166 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 tate it. Yet the child must be made to feel that 
 its spirit must yield to paternal authority. For 
 instance, your child is playing with some forbidden 
 article. You tell it gently, but firmly, to put it 
 down — it refuses. If you rise and take it by force, 
 the child cries — it is vexed and disappointed. In- 
 stead of this, if you say, pointing to the article, 
 'You ?nust put it down,' and it refuses, a second 
 command in the voice of seriousness and authority 
 will seldom fail of insuring obedience. The child 
 should then see an approving look or smile, and if 
 taken up and amused by something which you are 
 sure will interest, it will not forget the lesson, par- 
 ticularly if pains is taken to associate the forbidden 
 thing with something which produces a sensation 
 of pleasure. Return to it and say, 'You must not 
 touch that ; no, no,' and repeat it two or three times. 
 Then give the child something which is not so 
 familiar as to be worthless, and say, 'You may 
 have this.' A child of ten or twelve months may 
 soon be taught, in this way, distinct lessons of obe- 
 dience. If it refuses to yield, some slight punish- 
 ment should be inflicted, which shall connect the 
 idea of bodily suffering or inconvenience ; but care 
 should be afterwards taken to interest the child, 
 and your countenance should evince no anger or 
 irritability. 
 
 "A child of less than three years was often 
 troublesome by the unyielding disposition he mani- 
 
RESULTS. 167 
 
 fested. He had been severely punished for his fault, 
 though never unless the danger of omitting it made 
 the risk to the child's future happiness very great. 
 Once, after a very decided case of obstinacy had 
 occurred, it became necessary to punish him. After 
 it was over, he said he was not sorry for the fault. 
 He had never been shut up in the dark as a punish- 
 ment, because with very young children the conse- 
 quences are sometimes hazardous ; but it was known 
 that in this case the child was not afraid, and I 
 desired to know the effect of it, in connection with 
 religious considerations. The following experiment 
 was tried; and the conversation is here precisely as 
 it occurred. 
 
 "Mother. I am sorry you are so naughty. I 
 must put you into a dark closet, where no body can 
 see you. 
 
 " Child. I don't want to get up and be good, 
 (very deliberately.) 
 
 " I kept my word, saying at the same time, ' "When 
 you are a good boy, you may call me, and I will 
 open the door ; but now you must be quiet, and not 
 touch any thing.' He remained perfectly still more 
 than ten minutes, then knocked loudly on the door. 
 
 " M. Are you good now ? 
 
 " Ch. Wot if I come out there. 
 
 " M. What are you knocking for ? 
 
 " Ch I want to get out. 
 * M. If you are good, I will open the door ; but 
 
168 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 you have been very naughty, and troubled me. 
 Are you going to be good ? 
 
 " Ch. No, I a'n't good and sorry — I don't want 
 to come out. 
 
 "M. I am very sorry that my little boy is 
 naughty. He is in the closet, where it is very 
 dark, and mother cannot see him, but God can see 
 him. God is displeased with you. I want my 
 little boy to think. Can you think of God, and ask 
 him to take care of you, while you are so cross and 
 ill-humored ? 
 
 "He was still for about a minute, and then 
 said, in a pleasant, subdued tone, ' I am good now, 
 ma.' He came out and went to his play, as if 
 nothing had occurred to disturb his tranquillity. I 
 have not the least doubt that this occurrence will 
 have a strong and lasting impression, and save a 
 mother's heart many a pang in time to come, and 
 prevent the necessity of severe punishment." 
 
 There is an impression upon the minds of many, 
 that skill in governing must be instinctive ; that it 
 is an original and native talent, and not to be ac- 
 quired by information or thought. But look at 
 those parents who have been most successful in 
 family government, and they will be found to be 
 those who have most diligently and uniformly 
 attended to the subject. You may go into the 
 family of some man of celebrity, in one of the 
 learned professions, and, as you look upon his law- 
 
RESULTS. 169 
 
 less children, you are perhaps discouraged. You 
 say, if this man, with his powerful and highly cul- 
 tivated mind, cannot succeed in family government, 
 how can I expect success ? But a little observation 
 will satisfy you, that this man is giving his time 
 and attention to other pursuits. He is neglecting 
 his children and they are forming precisely those 
 characters we should expect from the influences to 
 which they are exposed. 
 
 No course of procedure, without the blessing of 
 God, will result in the piety of the child. But if 
 we go on in our attempts to govern without sys- 
 tem, or thought, or care, we shall undoubtedly reap 
 most bitter consequences. The mother must study 
 her duty She must carefully observe the effect 
 produced by her mode of discipline. There is but 
 little advantage to be derived from books, unless 
 we revolve their contents in our own minds. Oth- 
 ers may suggest the most valuable ideas ; but we 
 must take those ideas and dwell upon them, and 
 trace out their effects, and incorporate them into 
 our minds by associating them with others of our 
 own. .We must accustom ourselves to investiga- 
 tion and thought. The mother who will do this, 
 will most certainly grow in wisdom. She will daily 
 perceive that she is acquiring more facility in form- 
 ing in her child the character she desires. And the 
 increasing obedience and affection she will receive, 
 will be her constant reward. Care and labor is 
 
170 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 necessary in training up a family. But no other 
 cares are rewarded with so rich a recompense ; no 
 other labors insure such permanent and real enjoy- 
 ment. You, mothers, have immortal souls in- 
 trusted to your keeping. Their destiny is in a great 
 degree in your hands. Your ignorance or unfaith- 
 fulness may be the means of sinking them to the 
 world of woe. Your fidelity, by the blessing of God, 
 may elevate them to the mansions of heaven. You 
 and your children may soon be ranging with angel 
 wings the realms of blessed spirits, if here you are 
 faithful in prayer and effort to train them up for 
 heaven. 
 
 END- 
 
BY A FAVORITE AMERICAN AUTHORESS. 
 
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