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GREELEY,n72 
 HOFFMAN in'76 
 
 THE RING 
 
PRESIDENT GREELEY, 
 
 PRESIDENT HOFFMAN, 
 
 AND THE 
 
 RESURRECTION OF THE RING. 
 
 A HISTORY OF THE NEXT FOUR YEARS. 
 
 BY 
 
 PHARAOH BUDLONG. 
 
 AVRITTEN IN THE SECOND WEEK OF NOVEMBER, 1876. 
 
 FROM ADVANCE SHEETS. 
 
 looo 
 
 "Veels vithin veels." — Mr. S^mukl Weller. 
 
 BUDLONGTOX : 
 PRINTED FOR THE PURCHASERS. 
 1876. zJ 
 
 The Trade supplied by The New Engla>d News Compant, Boston. 
 

 Entered according to Act of Congress, In the year 1872, 
 
 By PHARAOH BUDLONG, 
 
 In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 
 
President Greeley, President Hoffman, 
 
 AND THE 
 
 Eesurrection of the El\g. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 CONCEPTION. 
 
 BUDLONGTON, NOVEMBER 15X11, 18 K^" 76. 
 
 Well : John T. Hoffman is the Centennial President of the 
 United States, — for the four years of their second century, end- 
 ing March 4th, 1881, and William M. Tweed is to be his Sec- 
 retary of the Treasury, just as I said four years ago, wlien the 
 late Horace Greeley was elected. See my communications to 
 the press at that time (strictly anonymous, however), pr/ssun. 
 Nobody believed me. I said also that Mr. Greeley would use 
 his whole first term in manoeuvering for a re-election, and that 
 if he didn't get it, it would kill him. Nobody believed that, 
 either. We do now, however, I suppose, having in our hands 
 Hoffman's eloquent funeral oration, and also the touching 
 obituary discourse delivered in his place in the Senate by 
 Senator Jefferson Davis of ^lississippi, well known to have 
 been Mr. Greeley's chief political adviser; and knowing as we 
 do that Gratz Brown is at this moment President of the United 
 States, and will be so for the coming tliree months and a half. 
 
 Now that things have come out as I said, however, I shall 
 just set down a brief record of the Greeley administration, its 
 conception, birth, life, and death. It's as good as a play, besides 
 beinor a useful contribution to historv, and a convenient 
 manual for politicians. I having been Private Secretary to a 
 prominent member of one of the National Party Tommittees 
 during the past four years, I know whereof I athrm ; and if 
 I should be called a traitor or any of those things for unbag- 
 ging such a covey of cats, all I have to say is, that I haven't 
 
 3 
 
4 President Greeley, President Hojfnian^ 
 
 had the consulship to Timbuctoo that was promised me. I 
 want to know if any thing more was required to justify me in 
 telling all I knew, and all I didn't know too, if I liked, about 
 ererybody in the (political) world ? 
 
 Everj^body knows that presidential nominations are arranged 
 by a few wise men in advance of the formal proceedings of 
 conventions. It is needless to explain this particularly, since 
 the terrible exposure which President Greeley's organ, " The 
 New- York Tribune," has publislied (occupying three whole 
 pages), of what it calls the Infamous Treachery of the Hoif- 
 manites. No wonder the venerable Greeley was smitten to 
 the very heart by such faithlessness ; for it is absolutely 
 proven that not less than three hundred and eleven of those 
 who voted to nominate Hoffman at the Peoria Convention had 
 been positively pledged to vote for Greeley by name, first, last, 
 and all the time. 
 
 True, these Judases said they had been convinced that " Old 
 Greeley" could not.be chosen, and that Hoffmann could; and 
 they said they'd done just what the great Greeley himself did 
 four years ago, and sacrificed their principles and promises for 
 the good of the nation. But '' The Tribune " has pretty 
 plainly shown that ever so many of them were further con- 
 vinced by the prospects of good things in the future, — little 
 pocket Canaans, so to speak, into which they were let peep 
 from some Pisgah in some hotel parlor before the crossing of 
 that nominating Jordan, the Convention. It is no wonder, I 
 say, that such awful wholesale Iscariotry should have been 
 fatal to our revered number two Franklin ; should have 
 broken him down, — should have left him, in fact, a mere 
 Pranklin — Stove ! 
 
 But let me get to my facts, or I shall never be through com- 
 menting on them. 
 
 Various stories used to be flying about, as to Mr. Greeley's 
 bargains with people in New York State, in October of 1871, 
 and divers other months, for his nomination at Cincinnati, in 
 June, 1872. Nonsense. Mr. Greeley's chief bid was that for 
 the Southern white vote. He knew very well that if he could 
 conciliate the ex-rebels, he might be sure of the Northern 
 Democrats. That was the object of liis Southern tour in 1871. 
 That was the arrangement decided upon in fifteen minutes' 
 talk with Jeff. Davis at Memphis. But it was a very risky, 
 nitro-glycerine sort of secret, and was handled with corre- 
 sponding care, and not handled at all unless absolutely neces- 
 sary. Not more than three or four of the leading Southern 
 
and the Resjirrection of the Ring. 5 
 
 managers knew of it, an<l about as many of the Tammany 
 men, up to the February before the nominiition. Ytni see, ar- 
 ran<'enu'nts like tliat must not be touclied otV until the right 
 time, and when they're started they mu.^tu't stop. 
 
 The Greeley presidential cunipaign was finally phiniied at 
 a meeting in New York in the end of February, 1S7U, at 
 which I was present. It was a very interesting occasion, and 
 as soon as I had got away I made a full record of all the proceed- 
 ing's. j\Iy experience as a reporter enables me to vouch for 
 the account as verbatim or else better. 
 
 The meeting had been called in tlie quietest possible man- 
 ner, and not one human soul knew of it except those invited. 
 No reporters knew of it. Not even a surmise that there was 
 to be or was or had been any such meeting ever got into print 
 until this day ; which shows that a secret can be kept. The 
 process is simple, — don't mention the secret, and don't men- 
 tion that there is a secret. 
 
 Hon. Jefferson Davis, the senior politician present, called 
 the meeting to order, and took the chair, informally but de- 
 cidedly, and spoke as follows : — 
 
 Gentlemen : This meeting is informal and for business only. 
 I shall be as brief as possible. To prevent any misunderstand- 
 ing, I will state the points as to this meeting as plainly and 
 shortly as I can. The gentlemen invited to this meeting have 
 been selected as representing four classes of influential politi- 
 cians, to wit : — 
 
 First. Conservative or regular Democratic managers, in- 
 cluding the Southern men. 
 Second. Progressive Democratic managers, or "New De- 
 parture " men. The fact is, not one of these gentlemen 
 has accepted; but no Democrat will feel troubled by this: 
 every one of them will fall into line at the proper tmie. 
 Third. Republican managers dissatisfied with the present 
 
 administration. 
 FoxLHh. Rising newspaper men. For these are the "fourth 
 estate" in politics as well as in administration. 
 
 [As this neat and original classitication was stated, I looked 
 around with a smile. Sure enough, that was the arrangement. 
 Either three or four of each of these descriptions were present; 
 and every one, like myself, was smiling. The venerable 
 Chairman smiled too, but only for a moment, and went on :J 
 
 Now, gentlemen, further: Unless a complete mistake has 
 been made, the single political object of each man present is 
 1* 
 
President Greeley^ President Ifoffmany 
 
 SUCCESS. 
 
 [The word was spoken as I have printed it, — in small capi- 
 tals, with the letters distinct, and in the middle of a consid- 
 erable blank space. A consciousness of what that one word 
 meant — and of what it didn't mean too — thrilled through 
 the company as the professor used to thrill a ring of us boys 
 with a charge of electricity. There was a kind of voiceless 
 response, — if one may say so, an immense, silent Hooray ! ] 
 
 Of course (continued the speaker), every man here is abso- 
 lutely safe, — absolutely safe. I say this only that all the 
 points may be brought before yoxx, gentlemen, not because it 
 is supposed to be necessary. But our consultation and its 
 results must be as dead a secret until after the election of 
 1876 [Sensation.] — Yes, gentlemen, I mean it — until after 
 the election of 1876 — as the purpose of calling this meeting 
 has been ever since Mr. Greeley's tour in the South. 
 
 [At these weighty words, it was beautiful to see the gentle- 
 men getting new light. A species of transfiguration took place 
 in some of them, so did their faces shine with the brilliancy of 
 the prospect thus opened up, like a hollowed pumpkin with a 
 lighted candle suddenly put inside ; and even the less fore- 
 sighted partook of the exultant glow of their neighbors, al- 
 though they could not say why. You see, those last thirty- 
 odd words unveiled the whole plan, — Greeley in 1872, a Reg- 
 ular Democrat in 1876. But it was long ago remarked that 
 at Waterloo, the plan of battle of each of the great command- 
 ers there was extremely simple. Mr. Davis, looking around 
 him with perceptible satisfaction, went on :] 
 
 I see, gentlemen, that you take me. Well, then, there is the 
 less need of m}^ saying any more. I shall, therefore, only add 
 a suggestion for the sake of facilitating business. I shall sug- 
 gest a plan, and shall then request your views on it, or any 
 alternative. This is a much clearer mode than to ask each 
 man for a plan. And I assure jou that I am perfectly ready 
 to abandon the scheme I shall suggest for a more hopeful one. 
 I desire success only. 
 
 My plan is this : First, Let there be a concert of action be- 
 tween the disaffected Kepublicans and the Democrats, by means 
 of a Reform movement irrespective of mere politics. This, I 
 may observe, gentlemen, is already agreed on, although it 
 may be given up, of course. 
 
 Second, Let the first nominating convention be ostensibly 
 by Reform Republicans; and let it nominate Horace Greeley. 
 
and the Resurrection of the Ring. 7 
 
 Third, Let the regular Democratic convention nominate 
 him also. 
 
 Fourth, Let the Democracy then use the Federal patron- 
 age, and reconstruct their own political organization as to 
 nominate and elect in 1876 — John T. Hoffman. 
 
 [Absolutely irrepressible applause, which became almost 
 frantic as Mr. Davis, stepping across the room, shook hands 
 with Goveriior Hoffman across the bloody chasm. AVhen there 
 was a little quiet, Mr. Davis stepped back and sat down, only 
 saying:] 
 
 There, gentleman : now, will you please to offer ? I reckon 
 we shall not disagree as to the first speaker. 
 
 Loud cries (of course) of '' Hoffman ! Hoffman ! " 
 
 The governor, thus called upon, proved himself equal to the 
 occasion, and followed suit, thus : — 
 
 "Gentlemen, thank you very much. I should like to be 
 President. I believe my nomination in 1876 will carry New 
 York. I know of no other way to reconstruct the frame of the 
 Democratic party. And I believe that any required amount 
 of funds will be forthcoming to carry out this plan. Hay, 
 Mr. Tweed?'' 
 
 " You know how it is yourself, Johnny," said Mr. Tweed, 
 with his usual affable smile. "That's so, every time. The 
 rocks is ready for that are plan, by God ! and I don't know of 
 a damned cent for no other plan, nuther, by God Al- 
 mighty ! That's what's the matter. Put it right there, 
 governor ! " 
 
 And Gov. Hoffman and Mr. Tweed shook hands across 
 the bloody chasm. 
 
 The following gentlemen now gave in their cordial adhesion 
 to Mr. Davis's plan, mostly with a few words of admiration for 
 its simplicity and evident effectiveness : namely, Mr. Charles 
 A. Dana, Mr. Benjamin Gratz Brown, and Mr. Eobert 
 Toombs ; and the same interchangeably shook hands across the 
 bloody chasm. 
 
 " What do you say. Senator Fenton ? " asked Mr. Jeffer- 
 son Davis, as there was a sort of pause. 
 
 " Why, to be sure," said Mr. Fenton, "' I hardly know — 
 it's so sudden, and so great an undertaking — I should hardly 
 feel free " — 
 
 And he paused, and ended with an agreeable smile, bestowed 
 upon the company at large. 
 
 "Very good," observed Mr. Davis, in his decided way, 
 "this plan is the plan of the Hon. Reuben E. Fenton, 
 
1 
 
 8 President Greeley, President Hoffman, 
 
 stock, lock and barrel. !Mr. Fenton sent Mr. Greeley on his 
 tour to tiie South ; he gave nie every one of the points I have 
 laid before you. He has arranged the preliminary organization 
 of the disaffected K«'puhlicans. Unto Mr. Fenton, in short, be 
 the glory I You slidll have it," he continued, in reply to a 
 deprecating look and gesture from the New- York statesman ; 
 "you »h<dl have it. This is the Palace of Truth. Not that 
 we couldn't tell a lie if we tried, any of us. But, for the 
 success of our present enterprise, it is an absolute necessity 
 that there should be the fullest and most perfect jilainness of un- 
 derstanding among ourselves as to all matter of fact. The 
 whole plan is Mr. Fenton's. I suggested a point or two of 
 secondjiry importance, and I claim the credit of appreciating 
 it, and accepting it, and setting to work on it : no small 
 credit, in my opinion. AVhat ^Ir. Fenton |>roposes to have 
 is the Secretaryship of State under President Greeley." 
 
 And Mr. Davis and Mr. Fenton shook hands across the bloody 
 chasm ; although I could see that the latter gentleman was 
 not without some discomposure at the use of such immense 
 plainness of speech. 
 
 There were now raised some objections. It is with reluc- 
 tance that I expose my own weakness: but the truth must 
 be told : I made, I am afraid, the only really silly suggestions 
 of the occasion ; unless those by the gentleman after me be 
 also so considered. 
 
 " Mr. Chairman," I ol»sorved, " it appears to me tliat ^Ir. 
 Greeley, so far as the management of pul>lic affairs and inter- 
 course with gentlemen is concerned, is a hog and a fool. He 
 will therefore do a great deal of harm, I fear, if made Presi- 
 dent." 
 
 " My dear young friend," said ^Tr. Davis, with the utmost 
 blandness, ''that's exactly what we want. All the good he does, 
 if he should blunder into any, we Democrats will take care to 
 get the credit of. All the evil we will see charged over to liis 
 former political friends and principles and practices. Let him 
 jump. He's like a horse in a mill. Tf«' must grind our 
 grist." 
 
 " lUit," I persisted, "Mr. Greeley is so obstinate that no- 
 body will be able to manage him." 
 
 At this, there was a great shout of laughing. Everybody, 
 even (h-mure ^Ir. Fenton, I believe, fairly bawled. 
 
 "Allow me to ask," rejoined Mr. Davis, " if my young 
 friend has had the advantage of Mr. Greeley's personal ac- 
 quaintance ?" 
 
" No," I Mui.l. 
 
 " Ah I why, hh\'*s your lirart, t)»«'r«''H two .ihsohitolv contain 
 ways oi inaiia.ifinj; Mr. (JnM'h'y. Voii ran hiilly fiiiii with 
 «'a.Ho, ifyoudo it judirioti.Hly ; ami you can flatter and cajolo 
 him into any thin^ whatever." 
 
 I^y tliis tiino I lM>;;an to undprstand that I nii)^ht ax woU 
 iiold my tongue in that Hanh«Mlrini of na^cH, and I Haid no 
 mon-. Thank (lod, I'm n«»t t<»o proud t4> learn: I'd rather 
 h'arn tlian talk any time 
 
 Mr. ThiMxlore Tilton s|M)ko noxt» heginning pretty nearly as 
 follow.: — 
 
 ''Mr. Chairman: I havo long hem an intimate p<*rM>nal 
 friend and uncpialirnMl ailmirer of the great and goo«l man" — 
 
 ** lMeas»« Im' as hrirf as |>ossiMo, Mr. Tilton," int«Trupt«-d Mr. 
 Davis: *• we cunt havo anv thiuLT hwt l>u.-*in» ss ; we can'fj 
 really." 
 
 Mr. Tilton rather gol»l»l«'<l in his tiiroat for a few ni - 
 
 upon this hruscpie intimation : he seemed to stniggh- . - 
 press an immense (piantity of utterances that wanted to get 
 out. Finally he hei^an again : — 
 
 '* It is with great s;u-rifiees of personal preference," he re- 
 ■-iinied, *'that I am constrained to protest against the proposeU 
 nomination.'' 
 
 Here every man j>rieke<l up his ears; for every man believed 
 that this rising newspaper man, so hi'^hly valued for t;u:t and 
 giK>d management, w:ts tin tlw point of - ing some im- 
 
 j)ortant omission in the edifice al>out to h. ~. i ..p. 
 
 *' I prot«'st, Mr. Chairman and gentlemen," continutnl this 
 impit'isionejl young speaker, ** because the proj)osed plan ia 
 mA Kn;nr I'' 
 
 Here the Hon. Reuben 1'.. Fenton arose promptly, and 
 hauled Mr. Tilton to one side by main force, lie drew him, 
 :is it h:ippenetl, into a eorner do.se brhind my chair. Of his 
 briif dis«our>ing to the young patriot I caught these wonU, 
 — "every gentleman here" — "most influential and lucn^ 
 tive" — *' your w»ll-known rommaniling talents and im|x>r- 
 tant an»l intluential position " — "very high j>ost." 
 
 During this '* buzzing," as I Indieve such atirocess istemitMl 
 by the best authorities, Mr. TwimmI, I obs«-r\'«'.i, won* a - 
 
 i;rin, and winked at (Jov. Hoffman, who, howrvrr. <! 
 wink in reply, nor Rp^^'lk with his feet, nor tea4-li with iiis fin- 
 gers either. As all the^e habits are in<*ltided in Solomon's 
 diagnosis of the wicke<l man, I s.iy (Jov. Hoffman is not 
 wicked. The process was concludetl by Mr. Tilton's answer. 
 
10 . Presidc7it Greeley, President Hoffman, 
 
 which was in a somewhat less guarded tone than Mr. Fenton's, 
 insomuch tliat I heard him say: 
 
 ''The position you have named is satisfactory. It appeals 
 to an honorahh; j)ride ; for I feel myself Born to be a Com- 
 mander of Men." 
 
 ]\rr. Tilton now roturne(l to his place, and, expressincj his 
 gratitude to his friend ^Ir. Fenton fur enliLchtennitMit, gave in 
 his unqualilied adhesion to the pLan : while Mr. Tweed grinned 
 harder than ever, and so indeed, I lu'licve, did ever}' other 
 man in tlie room. As for the post, I wavered, as I remember, 
 in my own mind between a wardenship of a State's Prison 
 and the Generalship in Chief of the armies of the United 
 States ; as these confer a sort of autliority much of the same 
 magnificent and despotic kind implied by Sultan Tilton's lofty 
 boast. It does not appear to me that suljsequent develop- 
 ments have entirely borne out the promises of Mr. Fenton. 
 
 The remainder of the proceedings on this occasion were of 
 subordinate interest, as relating mostly to matters of detail or 
 of mere management, sucli as apj)ointment of officers and so 
 on. 1 may observe, howevi-r. tliat tlie plan so ver}" ably con- 
 ceived and stated l>y Mr. Davis was adopted with but little 
 furtlier remark, and tlie cliief practical rules were laid down 
 upon which the campaign was to be conducted, and the whole 
 plan followed out to eoinpletion. For instance, it was agreed 
 that a certain number of Democratic paj)ers should assert the 
 continued existence of that party, — enough to keep up what 
 lawyers call a " continual claim," and keej) life in the title; 
 but that the principal outcry during the campaign should be, 
 that both the old parties were dead, and tliat the Greeley 
 movement was not a part}' one at all — indeed not j)olitiral 
 even, so much as ])atriotic — a shaking hands across the bloody 
 chasm, in fact; the si)ontaneous uprising of all good men in 
 order to put the best representative of American intelligence 
 and virtue into tlie ])lace of a Ijrutal and ignorant despot, and 
 to purify every stream of j)olitical activity and public business 
 from the fountain to the sea. A fine j)icture ! 
 
 I shall add, for my own part, what the meeting principally 
 taught me, myself. It was a coujde of definitions ; and 1 well 
 remember thinking them over as I walked home the evening 
 after the meeting. 
 
au(i tJii- Resurrection of the Rifi^. 
 
 II 
 
 1. A POLITICIAN IS FIKST OK ALL A MAN WITllnlT ANY 
 
 '' •'''rhc Govornment of the United States is not in the 
 vot''ers;n..rintherresi.lent un.l CouKn-ss; nor m the noini- 
 nating conventions; but in tlie party managing commit- 
 tees. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 IlIKTH. 
 
 It wm.l.l W entirely superfluous to tell aRuin thf ""cWnt 
 o.,,1 f,<l, like tale of the Ciiicinoati Convention. Huh Ijorty 
 vo V d eou:iy registerea the .lecree. «hieh ha.l been prepare, 
 
 TonT^f 7 tore^n-^a '.lelegates .hrew.l,y.o..serv..a .-jest 
 cluZa the Cincinnati eol.l vit.les ""^l ^^^^ .^^^ ^H 
 
 dentiAl campaign, ridiculous and monstrous 
 
 mine. 
 
 7^i{()FiT AND Loss. 
 
 Dr 
 
 S 
 
 Bv sftvinp the countn* once 
 inun-. to balance in ndl, 
 uf CUUTbC 
 
 To hu*inc?<5 flnt all the year, 
 To ca>h paid, pnrty expenses, 
 To >anu'. other i)arty. 
 To l.-itimate cost of i-lection, 
 To time lost. 8.000,000 v.>ien5, 
 
 oa»h one day, 
 Totiiue ln<t.heann- speeches, 
 
 " proce>hing," <lic., 
 
 X,.„e wa. the -^ H-^^'^/riX^.'S^ A 
 
 i:f,.:::u:tre:ch ol thr'wir:;^..., and'e^h of the edito., 
 
12 President Greeley y President Hoffma7t, 
 
 who assisted in the great work, is of opinion that he individu- 
 ally was the main cause of Mr. Greeley's success. 
 
 / know better. Xapoleon himself put the imperial crown 
 on his own head on his coronation day. Mr. Greeley himself 
 derided the election. I cannot but feel proud of being able to 
 throw so much light on the truth of American politics as this 
 little book affords. And as the act in question is a brilliant 
 proof of those very " executive qualities " in Mr. Greeley 
 which ill-wishers of his have most vociferously denied him, I 
 should be inexcusable if I concealed it. It was in itself deci- 
 sive evidence of broad views not only in politics but in reli- 
 gion ; of self-sacrifice ; of absolute genius in devising expedi- 
 ents ; of the promptest energy in applying them; in short, 
 of all the principal merits of the imperial prototype already 
 named, and whose statesmanlike management of the Egyptian 
 INIoslem doubtless gave Mr. Greele}" the hint. 
 
 Thus it was : When the furious and exhausting canvass 
 of 1872 was drawing to a close, the managers on the part of 
 Mr. Greeley, in making up the final balance-sheet of States, 
 came to a conclusion, not then for the first time reached in 
 presidential campaigns, — that if Mr. Greeley could carry the 
 two great States of Pennsylvania and Xew York, his election 
 was certain ; that if he gained one and lost the other, it w^as 
 doubtful ; that if he lost both, he must lose the election. I 
 myself footed up the two columns of votes for and against, 
 which indicated this result, and I remember very well the 
 quiet way in which Senator Fenton said, — 
 
 " Yes, — exactly so. Now let us canvass those States, and 
 see how they stand." 
 
 AVe went over them accordingly, town by town, by the re- 
 ports of the local committees ; added the two couples of long 
 columns ; and our problem converged. It was plain that if 
 Mr. Greeley should carry the cities of New York and Phila- 
 delphia, he would carry the two States, — if not, not. 
 
 " Well," said the Senator again, in his quiet, pleasant way, 
 "let's go over the two cities once more." And he added, 
 under his breath, ''Confound that registration ! " 
 
 Governor Hofi'man, who sat by, r(H-ited softly, — I didn't 
 know before that the Governor knew his Shakspeare so well, — 
 
 " The fjocis arc just, and of our pleasant vices 
 Make instruments to scourge us." 
 
 But Mr. Fenton only shook his head, with an air of depre- 
 
and the RcsiinrctioJi of the Ring. 1 3 
 
 cation, and turned to the canvassincf reports aj^iiin. Tlie third 
 exjiininiition resulted not precisely like the others: it .showed 
 sums total so evenly halaiicecl that unforeseen accidents might 
 obviously exhaust the small margin which must be all that 
 could be allowed on either side. One judicious poster on the 
 morning of the election might decide it, — one single loud lie 
 well told. It was a fearfuf exigency. Long did the commit- 
 tee ponder and discuss ; but like the devils in I'andemonium, 
 
 they — 
 
 " Founil no end, in wandering mazes lost." 
 
 As they were breaking up for the day, in came ]Mr. Greeley, 
 to see what the day had brought forth. They laid the «iues- 
 tion before the sage. 
 
 '' Well, rrentlemen," observed the moon-faced man of Chap- 
 paqua, ''I've thought of just that thing. I'm going to carry 
 New York and riiiladelphia, myself, individually, by the Mor- 
 mon vote." 
 
 At this entirely original suggestion in American politics we 
 
 all opened our eyes. 
 
 "The Mormon vote, Horace ?" said that familiar person, 
 Theodore Tilton, " What can you mean?" 
 
 " Mean, you damned fool I " said the indignant^ sage, " I 
 mean that I've been doing a little arithmetic. Your stuff 
 about the vote is all very well as far as it goes. But I didn't 
 know there was so much ignorance of real statistics in the 
 whole world as there is in this room, or was before I came in. 
 Every child of two years old knows that the census of 1S70 
 showed the number of ^Mormons in New York City alone to 
 be 3,247, — no, 3,240; and in Philadelphia 2,3(v). Comments 
 by the — I mean, all I have to do is to bring in their vote. 
 I made up my mind to do it three weeks ago. They are 
 damned intelligent, those Mormons ; and they don't waste their 
 time voting at all, as a general thing. lUit I can fetch every 
 man jack 'of them. I'm nin«'-tenths of a Mormon myself, 
 already, as a Universalist. We don't believe in the divinity 
 of ('hrist, they and I; and such a community of belief goes a 
 great way. It's just got me the public indorsement of Mr. 
 Barnum.^ In short, gentlemen, I'm above prejudices in mat- 
 ters (d' religion; ancl we all worship one connnon Father, as 
 Napole(.n observed to the muftis of Cairo. I have resolved to 
 join the Mormon communion. \ would have Young for 
 Se(^retary of State too, if necessary ; and I have trustworthy 
 information of three ladies that t can have sealed to me at 
 
14 President Greeley, President Hoff^nan, 
 
 fifteen minutes' notice ; Mrs. Woodhull, Mrs. Dr. Mary Walker, 
 and Mrs. Josephine McCarty, who shot at Thomson at Utica 
 the other day. She's editing a paper now : she would do as 
 managing editor of ' The Tribune/ if necessary." 
 
 CHAPTEE III. 
 
 LIFE. 
 
 Such was the real means by which our first Mormon president 
 was elected. The country remembers well enough the able 
 editorial which he recited as an inaugural ; nor would it be 
 useful, nor is it a part of my plan, to repeat such formalities 
 as lists of cabinet appointments, and the like. But it will in- 
 terest all believers in true friendship and disinterested benev- 
 olence to know what was to have been Mr. Greeley's own 
 cabinet. Tlie list lies at this moment before me in his own 
 handwriting. As the great and good calligraphist himself is 
 no more, I shall present to an afflicted public this irrefragable 
 proof of his thorough goodness of heart, and profound discrim- 
 ination of character, in a fac-simile of his well-known and 
 much-lamented script, as on the opposite page. 
 
 Whatever may be thouglit by mere partisans of the merits 
 of this cabinet, or of that which was, in fact, appointed, I sup- 
 pose there will be no doubt in any sane mind that the loss of 
 such a spectacle as the operations of a band of such statesmen 
 as those, under the leadersliip of Mr. Greele}^, is a loss that 
 can never be entirely made up. 
 
 The names of these mighty men, chosen out of the whole 
 nation by the nation's chosen ruler, suggest many enticing 
 speculations. Who would not fain have seen the prowess in 
 his new field of that mighty man of war from his youth up, 
 Mr. John Morrissey, — a champion equally valiant in the tiger- 
 haunted jungle, or in the twenty-four-toot ring? If Mr C. 
 Vanderbiit, jun., should manage the navy as ably as his father, 
 the commodore, used to manage his navy, who knows whether 
 the young gentleman might not one day have his own '• ship 
 come in," and be able to repay to his trustful chief that thirteen 
 
and the Resurrection of the Ring. IS 
 
 ^"^"^ >- -C^ 
 
 ^^^^cy 
 
 
 ^ @^_ , ^^ 
 
 
1 6 President Greeley , President Hoffman^ 
 
 thousand and odd dollars, money loaned ? With what watch- 
 ful interest should we not observe tlie management of the 
 United States treasury by him who might well be called, as 
 the poet long ago called his namesake river, the Silver Tweed? 
 And only think of the state paper of a Jewett, and the way in 
 what the Great American Traveller would circulate about the 
 Interior, and the colossal opinions tliat would be drawn up by 
 his Lordship Jones I As for a full cabinet meeting of all these 
 wondrous men, it would be like a congress of six lirst-class 
 meteors, presided over by the great comet of 184.'j. (I be- 
 lieve that bad the most remarkable tail and conietary structure / 
 generally, of all known comets. ^Ir. Hind, the eminent as- 
 tronomer, says that the brilliant iijjpendage in ipu-stion was 
 two hundred million miles long.) 15ut perhaps tlie human 
 mind, as at present constituted, is incapable of receiving such a 
 conception as this; and therefore, and in i)art also because 
 the little aftair did not come oft", I forbear to describe it. I 
 have been told that a good deal of trouble was had before Mr. 
 Greeley could be made to give up this plan, and to accept that 
 which his managers had made for him. 
 
 I must not omit one minor but significant trait. It will be 
 remembered that when Mr. CJreeley received the news of his 
 nomination, lie is reported to have said, ''AVell, that's funny!'' 
 Kow. he «lid say so, it is true ; but he said something more, 
 which his guardians thought best to suppress at the time. It 
 will do no harm to mention it now ; and it undoubtedly bints at 
 one of the chief joys to Mr. Greeley, of his occupancy of the 
 "White House. What he really said on that occasion was 
 this, — 
 
 *• Well, that's funny! Guess J^re (jot Seward and Weed 
 iioii- ! " 
 
 To eome to the main subject of this chapter, — the life of 
 the Greeley administration. This life, being therein an image 
 of limnan life generally, was double. It had an outwanl antl 
 visible sign, — an apparent ])hase; and an in wanl or spiritual 
 grace, — an interior or r»'al ])hase. In the former sense, its 
 chief features, as is well knt»wn. have been for four years con- 
 sistently represented l»y the self-styled '• lu'publican '' news- 
 papers as one series of disgraces, — 
 
 " Slmpcs hut fnjiu Tartarus, all >hamcs aiul rriines." 
 
 l>ut there is a far difbrcnt interprelat i«»ii, which I shall give 
 in its propiT place. At present I shall reca[)itulate the items. 
 
and the Resurrection cf tJic Rini^. ij 
 
 Not tliat my readers liavc f(jr<;<)tten tluMu; but earh touch is 
 rcMjuisiti' to the full strength and liarniony of tin* wliole pic- 
 tun*, wliosf nieaniii}^ can thus be made (|uite clear by an inter- 
 pretation of the whole toj^'ether. 
 
 J\'rhaps the most striking — it «'ertaiidy wa.s tlie iiio>t 
 noisy — sin<^le phenomenon of this whole four years, all thin^j« 
 considered, was, the enormous yell of exultation and deli^dit 
 from I he whole Democratic press of the S(»uth, and most of that 
 of the North. These two win^s of one ho>t slnK(k hands aerosi* 
 the bloody chasm with an endless ecstasy as intense as if thev 
 liad not done exactly the same all the time that the <hasm was 
 dij^ging ami tlie blood being shed into it. This monstrou.n 
 outcry is just at this present writing (Nov. 15, 1.S76) lomb-r 
 than ever, since the culmination of all their wishes* in the 
 election of Hot^'man, and, it woidd seem, the detinite ri»- 
 establishment in power of the same old Democratic ma- 
 chine. 
 
 Tiiere went along with all tliis glory and deligljt a v«ry dif- 
 ferent undertone. This was not very loud, but it was pretty 
 grievous. It was the expression, so far as any expression wa» 
 permitted, of the pain and sorrow of the negro |M>pulation of 
 the South at the absolute paralysis, political ami mental, which 
 struck them as if by lightning, tlie instant Mr. (ireeley waa 
 chosen. The whites of the South liave always deliglited in 
 secret societies, and have long pre.'«t rved tlieir favorite |HiliticaI 
 objects by means of them. Such were the organizations known 
 as the Order of the Lone Star, the lHue Lodges, and ."O on, 
 for the purpose of di-aling with Cuba, Kansas, &c. Such wa^ 
 the so-calltMl Ku-Klux, which was so active soon after the He- 
 bellion. This secret society seemed to wholly di.<:appear from 
 about the time when Mr. (Jreeley's n(»mination was tirst seri- 
 ously intended. I>ut almost instantly after his election, they 
 broke into a greatly increa.-ed activity, pervading the South in 
 all diriM-tions, and tpiickly obtaining Nxhat amounted to a com- 
 plete and systematic military contnd of the countrj* South. 
 No laws could be pa>s«Ml by tln' State autboritii'S f. t 
 
 the edu<ation or the franchi>e of the negnus, for the 1 h 
 
 Amendment prevented. Hut so long a.s teai-hing school or at- 
 tending s( hool ; >o long as voting any ticket not D« ■ .-. 
 and often voting or (►tiering to vote at all, was n, .. nt 
 to the moral certainty of being whip|K'd, mutilated, violnted. 
 or shot dea<l. as the age or sex of the victims .•»h«.uld .•'Uggi-st : 
 so long ;is this system was industriously upheld, it was of 
 small concern to the negroes whether one or another law was 
 
1 8 President Greeley, Preside7it Hoffman, 
 
 or was not passed. And while tliese tilings were done, the 
 Democratic press^ with one vociferous accord, denied their ex- 
 istence, hooted and jeered at the very idea, and swore all 
 to<^ether that such scoundrelly stories were manufactured 
 out of whole cloth merely to deceive the people and re-estab- 
 lish the vile and unprincipled domination of the Eepublican 
 party. 
 
 The extinction of several branches of industry which Free- 
 Traders are in the habit of calling "artificial" and "mon- 
 opolies," also took place during Mr. Greeley's presidency, 
 tliou_c,di not quite so promptly as the extinction of negro civili- 
 zation. 
 
 The first House of Representatives chosen after his election 
 had a small but (with careful management) a sufficient Demo- 
 cratic majority ; and the more persistent Republican ascend- 
 ency in the Senate disappeared more rapidly than was expected, 
 as vacancies were filled by Democratic State legislatures, 
 and various inducements and arrangements were brought to 
 bear upon one and another who held over but did not hold out. 
 The full-blooded Free-Trade Tariff of 1874-5 was then passed, 
 in conformity with President Greeley's promise in his inau- 
 gural, that he would acquiesce in whatever decision of this ques- 
 tion should be made by Congress, the chosen representative of 
 the American people. As this result had been anticipated of 
 course, all those employed in the iron business, in shipping, 
 in textile and metallic manufactures of all kinds, and in all 
 other industries where European employers pay smaller wages 
 to their workmen than Anu-rican employers do, had set about 
 closing up their concerns as fast as possible. This, of course, 
 in some measure diminished the severity of the consequent 
 crisis. But it was a mere matter of course that the bankrupt- 
 cy and other financial misfortunes of the year 1875 were far 
 more serious and injurious than those of 1857, and were far 
 greater in absolute extent than those of 1837, although the 
 greater capital and strength of tiie country rendered them 
 relatively less. 
 
 As the customs revenue was thus given up, tlu' odious in- 
 come tax was revived, together with excises and the like. The 
 measure of exacting a real direct tax was not ventured upon ; 
 but it is well understood that the coming Congress (the first 
 under President Hoffman) will be strongly urged in the message 
 and otherwise to establish such a tax, mainly on the ground 
 that it will be better on the whole than to permit the continu- 
 ance of so much dissatisfaction, false swearing, dishonesty, 
 
aiui tJie Rcsurrcctiofi of the Ring. iq 
 
 corruption, and resistance of ever}- Idiul to tlu- rcvcime depart- 
 ment, as has now prevailed for two ^'ears. 
 
 The husiness enisli of 1S74-5 was greatly lidjud forward 
 by I'resident Cireeh-y's iiiitoitiinate measure of stripping tlie 
 National Treasury of the ^'old reserve which Secretary houtwell 
 had so steadily kejtt on liand in it. Every one reniendters 
 Mr. Greeley's slogan in ''The Tribune," " The way to Kesunii>- 
 tion is to Resume," and his persistent summonses to Mr. 
 Bout well to sell oiV this money. One of liis first measures as 
 President was to insist on the whole of this gold being thrown 
 into the market, and to recommend tlie law which liis first 
 Congress passed, ordering that the United States (Jovernment 
 resume specie pa^-ments on the first da}' of July, 1S73, being 
 the first beginning of a fiscal 3'ear after the new I'resident's 
 message. It was so done. AVlien the gold had been sold, of 
 course the Government had nothing to resume specie pav- 
 ments with. The gold which the Treasurv put into the 
 market of course carried its price down, so that it brought only 
 ab(jut seven per cent above par in pa[»er. (iold IxMug thus 
 plenty, there was an immediate great increase in tluMpiantity 
 of foreign goods imported ; an increase, as always happens in 
 such cases, very much greater than this cheapness of goM 
 justified, even could it have remained permanent. Little ex- 
 cuse is ever needed for extravagance. 
 
 Well, in a few da^-s the Treasury had to go to work to 
 buy gold to begin its specie payments with; for the ordinary 
 receijits were far from sufficient. Did the Wall-street nu-n 
 who had paid seven per cent for the Treasury's gold, a 
 little before, sell it back again at that rate? Not they; that is 
 not their style. They live by hard bargains, not by making 
 presents to a government. The price of gold jumped up at once 
 to eleven, fourteen, seventeen, twenty, twenty-five, thirr^'-three 
 per cent, — as high as it had been in liS(>7. whi'U Mr. iJout- 
 well's steady management had not much more than begun its 
 intende<l reform of the finances, — a reform now so sudd* nly 
 strangled. It is true, the Government. re>umed. Uut tli-- 
 United States did not resume. Not one bank, not one ])rivate 
 citizen in tlie country, paid specie. Kven President Gred. y 
 did not venture to recommend a law for enfon-ing timt. 1 1" 
 miglit as well have asked a law that water should run up liill. 
 C)f course, every bank and speculator who could get any «liie <>r 
 ov?'r-due government securities crowded tln-ni into tbe treas- 
 ury : the treasurer bought gold faster than ever, and ha<l to 
 negotiate the well known Redemption Loan, so-<-alled, to get 
 
20 President Greeley, President Hoffman^ 
 
 the means of doing so ; the same being placed on harder terms 
 for the United States than any loan made since those of Mr. 
 Buchanan's administration. 
 
 Of course, this tempest of speculation inflated and disar- 
 ranged all business to a most unhealthy extent ; and Avhen the 
 troubles of 1874-5 began, the whole of this unsound business, 
 
 — excessive imports unpaid for, a paper currency almost as 
 much depreciated as during the rebellion, and false financiering 
 at Washington, — "svas a t(?rrible dead weight piled on top of the 
 troubles from the free-trade measures and their associated laws 
 and operations above mentioned. 
 
 Mr. Hoffman's friends are just now loudly promising that 
 when once a real Democratic government shall be establi:<hed, 
 all these difficulties shall be cured. There is something colos- 
 sal in the assurance and unanimity of the single voice with 
 which all their newspapers are imputing these troubles, not 
 to the Democratic advisers of the late Mr. Greeley, who helped 
 him into them, but to Mr. Greeley's Kepublicanism. An odd 
 Republicanism this, which consisted in smashing to atoms the 
 whole financial policy that the administration had been build- 
 ing up so laboriously for four years. 
 
 Another measure which President Greeley and his partisans 
 carried through Congress, after a most furious struggle, was 
 that for a commission to prepare for repaying the South its 
 losses in the rebellion, from the national treasury. The main 
 arguments used by the President and his allies are well known, 
 
 — first, that it was best to shake hands across the bloody 
 chasm; second, that the ex-rebels were American citizens, and 
 that if any American citizens were entitled to re-imbursement 
 of losses by war, they all were. Our later Franklin did not 
 quote at this time the apologue of the earlier Franklin on a 
 similar occasion, about the man who was refused permission to 
 stick a red-hot poker down his neighbor's throat, and there- 
 upon demanded that at least he should be paid for his services 
 in heating the poker. It is true that the attempt, in its first shape 
 of an actual provision for payment on the decision of the com- 
 missioners without further legislation, failed ; the signs of poj^- 
 ular wrath were too many and too powerful to be disregarded. 
 But even the appointment of the commissjon and its beginning 
 operations was enough to greatly re-enforce the other influences 
 which were disturbing the finances of the country. As is well 
 known, the commission had within two months after its ses- 
 sions began, received regularly attested claims for losses dur- 
 ing the rebellion, including the three heads of slave property, 
 
and tJie Resurrection of the Ring, 21 
 
 "Confederate" money and other public securities, and real 
 estate and other personal property lost, destroyed, used, or dam- 
 aged, amounting in all to a total of nearly thirty-seven hundred 
 million dollars. The commission is still in session, and is yet ex- 
 amining and registering classes of claims. It is perhaps not 
 entirely certain that any of these claims will ever be paid. 
 But the existence of such a mass of mere claims even is 
 enough to throw a very sickly shade over the complexion of 
 our public funds and private industries too. 
 
 As for President Greeley's office-holders, both at home and 
 abroad, I suppose that his own MS. list, on a previous pao-e, of 
 his own proposed cabinet, is altogether too fair a specimen, 
 namely : out of six men, four fools, and only one scoundrel and 
 one bully. About six scoundrels and three fools to each half 
 dozen of President Greeley's nominations would too often be 
 nearer the truth. But I shall say little on this point. The 
 country is sick unto death. of it already. There has been no 
 sucli era of dedications, abuses, corruption, neglect, and blun- 
 dering, since that lively period made illustrious by the great 
 names of Swartwout and Eoorback. And we all know that of 
 the two chief chapters of promises which have done so much 
 to induce the nation to elect Hoffman, one has been a promise 
 of financial reform, and the other a promise to resuuie tliat 
 Civil Service E-eform which Gen. Grant began, and which 
 Mr. Greeley dropped so instantaneously. 
 
 The experiences of Mr. Greeley's sort of foreign representa- 
 tives is no better. I shall refer to but one instance out of 
 many. It is easy enough to imagine our "' later Franklin," 
 as Mr. Whittier must have surnamed him from his not pos- 
 sessing amenity of manners, suavity of discourse, and unfail- 
 ing skill in avoiding to make enemies, — it is easy enough, I 
 am sorry to say, to imagine this later Franklin insulting Eng- 
 land, or indeed insulting anybody. But who would ever have 
 thought of his exposing this country to the disgrace of being 
 angrily snubbed for a diplomatic insult, without the possibility 
 of resentment, explanation, or excuse ? England is unpopu- 
 lar in America, no doubt, — and everywhere else, for that 
 matter. Her dealings with Ireland are, no doubt, almost as 
 bloody and black a chapter as her dealings with India and 
 China. But the truer this is, the more necessary was it tliat 
 in our diplomatic intercourse with her we should heedful ly 
 keep ourselves in the right, should maintain international de- 
 corum and our own self-respect, and this most of all in what- 
 ever should relate to her chief internal shame, the Irish can- 
 
22 President Greeley ^ President Hoffman, 
 
 cer. And lo and behold, in the face of all this, Mr. Greeley 
 sends a notorious Fenian to the Court of St. James ! Of 
 course the Fenian was summarily kicked out. Of course the 
 British minister was instantly recalled from Washington. Of 
 course it was intimated that a proper explanation was expected 
 by the British Court, in order to the resumption of the ordi- 
 nary amicable intercourse. And of course, as anybody who 
 knew Mr. Greeley would have foretold at this stage of the pro- 
 ceedings, he would neither acknowledge, explain, nor apolo- 
 gize. Editorial experience does not train men to admit that 
 they are in the wrong, nor to apologize for doing wrong. 
 Probably no experience could have trained Mr. Greeley to 
 any thing which requires what is called honor, or what is called 
 justice. 
 
 Unfortunately, he w^as born without those sentiments. And 
 while experience and training may develop capacities that do 
 exist, even if they are small, neither^thos emeans nor any others 
 will add to a human soul capacities which it never had. In 
 the mean while, this irritating condition of affairs was main- 
 tained with obstinacy, until the President's death. It was 
 not from any disrespect to the memory of the dead, but from 
 the plainest common sense, that President Brown's very first 
 measure of importance was to direct steps to be taken to set 
 ourselves right in this matter; and, in consequence, friendly 
 forms of intercourse have been resumed. The increase of 
 mutual unfriendly feeling it will take a far longer time to 
 cure. 
 
 The same circumstances which have enabled me to give 
 authentic details in other parts of this memoir, have put it 
 into my power to give a thoroughly trustworthy account of 
 that notorious affair, the so-called Yerger Assault. As is well 
 known, Mr. Kust, an Arkansas member of Congress, once pum- 
 melled Mr. Greeley for calling names at him, instead of call- 
 ing names back again. It must be that there is some pre- 
 existent discord between Mr. Greeley's ways of talking and some 
 people's views of civilitj^ The Yerger assault, although more 
 directly provoked, w^as provoked by a much grosser offence 
 than that against Rust ; but both the punishments were in- 
 ffieted -by Southern men. It is fortunate, I suspect, for Mr. 
 Gr-^el«y,' that/Northern people have not such very violent senti- 
 'tfl^fe^alioilit'-^b^illg'.told -that they lie, or are damned fools ; for, 
 if >ttfery;;had^o:^ith^rii|\r;if,{iGi'kley have long ago been 
 
 ^Sit'^ri'^i'^c^tMsi^itrciiaiblkoTn^worldj o^^ would have had, 
 -Y\M ^fc^'^efitl^iiJ^^^vhQfiljoajjdediwifch.theLJbold-JBuccleugh, to 
 have — 
 
a7id the Resurrection of the Ring. 2;^ 
 
 " Carved at the meal in gloves of steel, 
 And drank the red wiue [if at allj through the helmet barred." 
 
 It is hardly worth while to consider the third alternative of 
 his acquiring the manners and habits of a gentleman. 
 
 However, the occurrence in question was as follows : Xot 
 long after Mr. Greeley's inauguration, Mr. Yerger (already 
 favorably known as a murderer of much energy and success), 
 together with a personal friend of his, Major Harry Gilnior of 
 Maryland, called on the President for the purpose of arian- 
 ging about a trifling matter of political interest, — in short, to 
 ascertain exactly what appointment was to be conferred on 
 Mr. Yerger in recompense for his efficient activity in securing 
 the nomination and election of Mr. Greeley. Upon being an- 
 nounced, the two gentlemen were requested to walk into the 
 President's private room ; which they did, and found him bus- 
 ily occupied in writing. In this occupation — intrinsically a 
 laudable and useful pursuit, though, like all other human 
 employments, capable of being pursued at wrong times 
 — he persevered with great zeal, without raising his head, 
 speaking, or in any way recognizing the presence of the two 
 visitors. 
 
 This went on for a number of minutes. Some people are 
 very squeamish about forms and ceremonies. I regret to state 
 that this conduct on the part of the Executive greatly dis- 
 obliged Mr. Yerger and his friend, who stood hat in hand, and 
 had expected a courteous reception. 
 
 " I assure you," said Mr. Yerger in his account of the busi- 
 ness, — for this narrative was from his own mouth, — "I 
 assure you, I don't know why I should have expected courtesy 
 from that quarter : there must have been some mistake in my 
 bringing up, or else in his. But I did !" 
 
 After waiting until they were tired. JNIr. Yerger got angry, 
 and, as he said, "quite forgot his political expectations," in his 
 indignation at finding himself "waiting there like a nigger 
 boy behind his master." So he stepped around to where the 
 President sat, and said, — 
 
 "Mr. President, as you have sent for us to come in, have 
 the goodness to stop writing a moment and attend to us." 
 
 There was too much anger in his voice for any mistake now ; 
 andiMr. Greeley laid down his pen, and said peevishly, "What 
 the devil do you want, I should like to know ? " 
 
 This quite overcame Yerger, who replied, — 
 
24 President Gi'eeley, President Hoffman, 
 
 " The first thing I want is a proper apology for your per- 
 sonal rudeness to Major Gilnior and to me." 
 
 To tliis the reply was still briefer, to wit : 
 
 " Go to hell." 
 
 Yerger instantly slapped Mr. Greeley across the face with 
 his open hand, giving him so smart a blow that it knocked 
 his head against the back of the high cliair in which he 
 sat. He drew back his hand to strike again, but restrained 
 himself. He did, however, hold his clenched fist close 
 under the President's nose, in the manner of a bouquet, and 
 said, — 
 
 " If you were not too old, and a lout at that, that knows no 
 better, I would whip you into apologizing. I am staying at 
 the Ebbitt House. You will find I am there as usual, sir. 
 Come, Gilmor! " 
 
 And the two deliberately retired, and left the White House 
 without interruption ; nor was any legal notice taken of the 
 affair. Nor did Yerger find that any attempt was made from 
 any quarter to impede his subsequent appointment as Deputy 
 Collector at New Orleans, where he is still serving, apparently 
 very acceptably. 
 
 The amiable disposition to overlook such peccadilloes as 
 slaps, blows, horse-whippings, spittings and the like, having 
 been a trait common to Mr. Greeley and to Mr. Bennett, it 
 is possible that it belongs to the qualities necessary for the 
 higliest rank in journalism. The ineff"able glory which the 
 Cliurch holds to be the just reward of the martyr's pains is an 
 analogy which seems to uphold this view. The only difficulty, 
 if there is any, will be in finding so great a contrast between 
 the stripes and slaps of the editors on one hand, and a Pre- 
 sidency or a large bank-account on the other, as there exists 
 between the insults and tortures of the martyr and the 
 throiies and treasures which repay him in heaven. 
 
 Mr. Greeley, however, is at least consistent in his reluctance 
 to punish. He does not believe in retribution, either in this 
 world or the next, — unless it be through an editorial in "The 
 Tribune." He never wants any criminals punished in any 
 way. His disgust at the idea of so disposing of murderers 
 that they cannot go on murdering is well known. It is almost 
 equally well known, that of all the convicts who were in prison 
 at Mr. Greeley's inauguration, or who were afterwards put in, 
 under sentences of United States Courts for crimes against 
 the Federal laws, every single one has been pardoned out by 
 this merciful chief magistrate. Indeed, the Federal prosecut- 
 
and the Resurrection of the Ring. 2$ 
 
 ing officers liave been for the lust two years quietly delaying 
 all the indictments they could, simply because they had not 
 the least hope of getting any criminal punished until ]\Ir. 
 Greeley's term was over. And there is, at this very moment, 
 a corresponding pressure of delayed cases urged for speedy 
 trial on the criminal docket of every United States District 
 Court in the country. 
 
 This list would be inexcusably incomplete without some re- 
 ference to President Greeley's relations with his child, his 
 favorite, his organ, his monument, "' The New York Tribune." 
 His intimates know that he really expected by the help of his 
 paper to convert the Democratic Free Trade party to Repub- 
 lican and Protectionist principles. How vain the hope, is ob- 
 vious now, and, one would think, was obvious then. The 
 Democrats, a good many of them, can't read, and a good 
 many of the rest won't ; and those who can and will won't 
 read any thing on the other side. This notion, therefore, was 
 the merest fancy. There can be no doubt, also, that Mr. 
 Greeley considered and was glad of the necessary enhance- 
 ment of the money value of his paper from having a President 
 as its chief owner and editor. This was natural enough. 
 The value of one share of '"Tribune" stock rose accordingly 
 from §10,000 (its par is $1,000) to $25,000 ; and even at that 
 price it was soon impossible to buy one, particularly after the 
 King proprietorship to be mentioned in the next chapter. ^Ir. 
 Greeley constantly wrote for the paper, just as the first Napo- 
 leon used to write for ''The Moniteur.'' I have at this mo- 
 ment in my possession his own copy, all ready for publication, 
 of his first message, on slips of writing paper, interlined here 
 and there with the familiar \_Comments hij The Tribune], 
 and the last handful of remarks signed by him in his usual 
 manner, " h. g." But the publication of this, which would 
 of course have been improper^ was prevented by Mr. Greeley's 
 shrewd advisers. 
 
26 President Greeley, Presidejit Hoffinan, 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 DEATH AND RESURRECTION. 
 
 The historical facts narrated in the preceding pages are 
 given as specimens only ; they are by no means a complete 
 account. I have already referred to their double meaning. 
 They had, indeed, a triple one, as Mr. Swedenborg's followers 
 say the Bible has. For, as I said before, many persons 
 considered them one series of disgraceful follies and blunders. 
 They were looked upon in a different way by Mr. Greeley. 
 That great, well-meaning, and misguided man believed them the 
 links of a chain that bound the Democrats irresistibly to the 
 work of re-electing him. It was for that sole purpose that he 
 had acceded to them, and had brought the whole enormous 
 influences of the Executive power and patronage to force them 
 one after another upon the country. He knew perfectly well 
 that the Democrats had made him President once, and, he 
 believed, not only could do it again, — which is, I suppose, 
 possible, for we are told that all things are possible with God, 
 — but also that they would do it again ; which is, I suppose, 
 not possible. It is not possible to conceive it intended by 
 the Democratic managers, for it would have been throwing 
 away a political advantage. And it may without irreverence 
 be assumed to be impossible for God, for it would have been 
 a monstrous absurdity ; and an absurdity, if any thing, is that 
 which is not possible for Him. 
 
 As regards this belief of re-election, Mr. Greeley was like 
 the first Napoleon, as described by the late Charles Phillips, — 
 J' Grand, gloomy, and peculiar, wrapt in the solitude of his own 
 individuality." Yes, indeed, gloomy enough. That two fools 
 as colossal as that could be found in one world no bigger than 
 this, is a prospect of the present state of human civilization 
 altogether two gloomy for contemplation. 
 
 Mr. Greeley himself never said in so many words that he 
 desired or intended his re-election. But neither did he ever 
 say in that manner that he meant to be President. But the 
 course of his actions through one series of years proved his 
 
and the Rcsurrcctioji of the Rifig: 27 
 
 purpose in one case, and throupjli another series in anotlier 
 case; nor would liis positive denial make any difference witli 
 the facts. As well might Joab be believed, should he say that 
 he was really interested to find Amasa's health good as he 
 smote him in the fifth rib. 
 
 While all these measures were thus on iV[r. Greeley's part 
 so many advance payments on account of the second term, 
 they were looked upon from still another — a third — point of 
 view by the Democratic managers who dictated them. These 
 shrewd and practical i)ersons in all such matters dealt exactly 
 as they had proposed to deal in the secret conmiittee of Februar}'-, 
 1872. The measures were put forth as the hunter shot in the 
 storj", — to hit if it was a deer, and to miss if it was a calf If 
 any of them succeeded, the Democracy was to liave the credit ; 
 if not, the Republicans were to have the blame. Heads I win, 
 tails you lose. Only, it was a surer policy to have things go 
 wrong ; for men are far readier to impute evil than good : and 
 a series of public misfortunes and failures which could be 
 charged to Republicans was the best possible preparative for 
 the proposed open re-establishment in power of the Democratic 
 
 This way of reasoning was not patriotic, but it was extreme- 
 ly shrewd, and it proved perfectly just ; for the popular and 
 electoral majority which has carried Hoffman into office, in- 
 stead of turning upon such a minute pivot as that on which 
 balanced Mr. Greele3''s fortunes, was the fourth largest (pro- 
 portional) presidential majority ever received. 
 
 The melancholy and fatal effect upon l^resident Greeley of 
 the nomination at Peoria in June, 1S7G, has already been re- 
 ferred to. The announcement came upon him with a perfectly 
 stunning effect; for the plans of the Hoffman leaders had 
 been concerted with the same absolute secrecy and cool 
 cunning that had served Mr. Greeley once, and now served 
 against him exactl}^ as well, like a good gun, which will l>low 
 out its owner's brains as readily as any one's else. Only, as 
 one of the gentlemen of the national committee said to me, it 
 was doubly wearisome in one particular, because they had 
 first to go thrcmgh a great deal of their committee-work be- 
 fore "the old man," and tluMi d<^ it jiretty much all over again 
 without him, for the real purpose. 
 
 However, the l)low came. ^Ir. Greeley was in the telegraph 
 office on the eventful day. The preliminary work of the (Con- 
 vention had been done, the jdatform read and adopted, and 
 so on, and the first ballot came over the wires : — 
 
28 President Greeley, President Hoffman^ 
 
 "Whole number of votes, 672 ; necessary to a choice, 337. 
 Greeley, 311 ; Hoffman, 300 ; all the rest scattering." 
 
 Mr. Greeley, upon receiving the slip, read it, and made ex- 
 actly the same remark as on receiving the news of his nomi- 
 nation in 1872. 
 
 " Well, that's funny ! " Had he fully comprehended, he 
 would possibljT' have cried with the startled King of Israel, 
 "There is treachery, O Ahaziah ! " But Mr. Greeley never 
 was much of a quoter of Scripture, and he did not at the mo- 
 ment fully comprehend. Tlie clicking far-writer quickly 
 spoke again : "Second ballot immediately taken." 
 
 Then there was a pause, during which the unsuspicious vic- 
 tim beguiled the time by noting for the entertainment of his 
 friends his own estimate of what the figures would be. They 
 were these : 
 
 " Greeley, 671 ; scattering, 1 ; vote made unanimous by ac- 
 clamation." And he added, " I shall have to offer Hofiman 
 the Secretaryship of State : that's what that means." 
 
 Hush ! 
 
 Click, click, click ! 
 
 " My God ! " says the operator under his breath, and he 
 turns as white as a sheet ; for he feels that the news will hurt. 
 But he instinctively hands the strip of paper, not directly to 
 the President, but to one of the others, who passes it without 
 reading at once to Mr. Greeley. 
 
 " Hell ! " says the Executive, and the paper drops from his 
 fingers. The next man snatches it up and reads, — 
 
 " Second ballot. Whole number of votes, 671. Necessary 
 to a choice, 336. Hoffmann, 671." 
 
 "It's a damned lie!" cries out the unhappy President. 
 " Kepeat it, you rascal ! " 
 
 The operator repeated accordingly ; but, instead of a damned 
 lie, it was a damning truth. Mr. Greelej' saw that he had 
 been fooled. Without uttering one single word more, he arose 
 and departed. 
 
 All those who knew him at all had long been aware of the 
 profound and intense political ambition which devoured Mr. 
 Greeley, and which, with a few volcanic exceptions, such as 
 the Seward letter of 1854, he had hidden with such immense 
 perseverance from almost all the world. But one more sur- 
 prise — a very sad one — was left for the cotemporaries of this 
 remarkable man. Not all, even of those most intimate with 
 him, had fully understood his ambition ; not one single one of 
 all, — not even himself, — however, imagined that together 
 
and the Resurrection of the Ring: 29 
 
 with Daniel Webster's inexpressible longing to be President, 
 Mr. Greeley possessed tlie same perilous susceptibility to dis- 
 appointment. The less could any dan<;er have been imagined 
 possible from snch a reason, since he had, in fact, gained the 
 prize. Yet so it was. Hardly had the President reached home 
 before he retired to his bed. Next morning he was roused with 
 difficulty. He could scarcely be brouglit to transact the most 
 necessary formal business ; and upon a careful medical consulta- 
 tion which was at once held, it was decided that he had <*x- 
 perienced a mild though delinite apo[)lectic stroke, but — what 
 was far more serious — that there were also evident signs of a 
 softening of the l)rain, which must liave been for some time 
 coming on. It was necessary, they added, that he should at 
 once discontinue all mental exertion whatever. 
 
 The melancholy scene was, however, soon mercifully closed. 
 Mr. Greeley gradually sank, and after about three weeks, dur- 
 ing which he slept all the time, and only spoke once, died 
 quietly and without pain, at the White House. A little before 
 his diarh there was, as so often happens, a brief partial return 
 of intelligence. He moved in the bed, partly opened his 
 eyes, and articulated with difficulty the words, " I'm going 
 West." 
 
 It lends a touching significance to these words to remember 
 that it is a constant tradition of the Indian tribes, that their 
 Hap])y Hunting (Jrounds lie beyond the setting sun. This 
 coincidence, it will be remi'mbered, was used with atfecting skill 
 by Senator Davis in his obituary speech. 
 
 The Resurrection named in the heading of this cha]>ter is 
 that named on my title-page, the "Resurrection of the Ring." 
 Whether the same will be a resurrection into official life at 
 Washington, as the Ring itself evidently intends, or such a 
 resurrection as people used to bestow on a vampire, when 
 they dug him np, drove a stake through his heart, and buried 
 him once more for good and ad, remains to be seen. I^nt it is 
 generally known in well-informed business and political <'ircles, 
 that Mr. Hofihian, Mr. Tweed, Mr. Sweeney, and Mr. Oakey 
 Hall, were, at the time of Mr. Greeley's «leath, possessed of 
 more than half of the hundred shares of whi<h '• The Tribune " 
 stock consists, and that they controlled, and do still control, the 
 course of that paper. If it b(» asked why they should have per- 
 niitteil "The Tribune'' to insert the exposure of the '' Hotl'man- 
 ite Treachery " ret'erre<l to in the early part of this a<-count, 
 the answer is plain. They «lid so as an excellent measure 
 towards hiding the fact of their ownership. As for its doing 
 
30 Preside7tt Greeley, President HoffmaHf 
 
 them any harm, they are not in the habit of troubling them- 
 selves about what a newspaper says; for they know very well 
 that they can get some other paper, — and very often the same 
 one, — to say the opposite thing. And, besides, they did not 
 know that Mr. Greeley was going to die; for this was just 
 a week after the Peoria Convention. In accordance with 
 these views, " The Tribune," immediately after Mr. Greeley's 
 death, became an earnest advocate of Gov. Ploffman, and was 
 generally supposed to have been a powerful promoter of his 
 election. 
 
 A more dangerous circumstance, however, is this : a secret, 
 for obvious reasons still more carefully guarded than the 
 ownership of " The Tribune " shares, and one which only my own 
 exceptional advantages have revealed to me, that IVIessrs. 
 Tweed, Sweeney, «& Co. have quietly managed to become the 
 real owners of more than half the Southern claims pending 
 before the Southern Compensation Commission. It is needless 
 to enlarge upon the danger to the Treasury of the United 
 States from a combination like that ; when the worst and 
 strongest members of the old Tammany King, with their most 
 dangerous, because most respectable, pal in the President's 
 chair, controlling not merely the largest and most extensively- 
 read newspaper in the United States, but the enormous power 
 of the Executive patronage, — now reaching a total of seventy- 
 two thousand appointees, — are moving directly forward to 
 repeat, in the great arena of Federal power and wealth, the 
 same infamies which, six years ago, made the great city of 
 New York to stink in the nostrils of the whole world ! 
 
 And this the voters of the United States have accomplished 
 by putting Horace Greeley into the Presidential chair in 1872 : 
 truly a proud achievement ! 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 
 One word about m3^self. If President Hoffman should wish 
 to communicate with me on any subject, the jjublishers will 
 readily put him in communictation with me at any time. Any 
 suggestions from him. of a proper nature, will be favorably 
 considered. He will do well, I will add, however, to recollect 
 that, as Dryden sent word to the disobliging })aymaster, Tonson, 
 along with half a lampoon, "He who wrote these can write 
 more." 
 
and the Resurrection of the Ring. 31 
 
 And one word to the voters of the United States. Gentle- 
 men, you see what you luive done. It is idl your fault: every 
 thing that goes wrong in the Government, in fact, is all your 
 fault. For it is your duty to take all the pains that are necessary 
 to acquaint yourselves with the real characters of candidates. 
 And I counsel you all to remember one single nde that would 
 have kept out of office every bad man that you have ever put 
 in — which is a great many. That rule is this : Ciioost: no 
 
 CANDIDATE AVIIO WTSIIKS FOR OFFICE. 
 
 K. 15. — For my own part, I despise office-holding and office- 
 holders with all my heart. 
 
V 
 
 
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 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
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