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AMES' SERIES OF rANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, ^ -p 161 Dora v -:v T -;: in o m Driven to the Wall 10 a 1.V2 Driven from Home < + 17:1 East Lynne.. » ' 143 Emigrant's Daughter » 176 Factory Girl 11 162 Fielding Manor....... 255 117 207 52 76 141 26 191 194 3 1) 9 6 Gertie's' Vindication 3 3 Hal Hazard, 25c I" •; Heroic Dutchman of 16 8 o Henrv Granden 4 s How He Did It 3 2 Hidden Treasures 4 I Hunter of the Alps 9 4 Hidden Hand ■• • ■!•' ' Lights and Shadows of the (Treat Rebellion, 25c ]0 '■} Lady of Lyons I- •'> Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 Lost in London h 4 6 .12 46 .-Man and Wife >27 Maud's Peril .Midnight .Mistake Millie, the Quadroon Miriam's Crime Michael Erie Miller of Derwent Water Mistletoe Bough Mountebanks (The) Old Honesty old Phil's Birthday Outcast's Wife Out on the World £ Oath Bound 6 Painter of Ghent ■} Poacher's Doom ° Phyllis, the Beggar Girl 6 Reverses 12 Lock Allen 5 Spy of Atlanta, 25c If Simple Silas <' Sweet brier 1' Thekla ■] The False Friend <» The Fatal Plow 1 The Forty-Niners 1<> 211 251 16S 91 36 34 22. * 223 81 85 83 196 29 lii 15 119 NO. M. b. 242 The Dutch Recruit 25c If 3 '.i2 The Gentleman in Black 9 4 112 The New Magdalen 71 The Reward of Crime 5 3 105 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 201 Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 193 Toodles 7 2 277 The Musical Captain 15 2 200 Inclc Tom's Cabin 15 1 121 Will-o'-the-Wisp, 9 4 41 Won at Last i •'> 192 Zion 7 * TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 73 At Last 7 1 75 Adrift 5 4 187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 6 3 254 Dot; the Miner's Daughter... 9 5 202 Drunkard [The] 13 5 185 Drunkar Ps Warning »> 3 189 Drunkard's Doom 15 5 LSI Fifteen Years of a Drunk- ard's Life 13 4 183 Fruits of the Wine Cup 6 3 104 Lost 2 14t; Our Awful Aunt 1 4 53 Out in the Streets 6 4 51 Rescued •"> 3 59 Saved 2 3 102 Turn of the Tide - 4 63 Three Glasses a Day i>2 Ten Nights in a Par-Room... 7 3 AS Wrecked 9 3 COMEDIES. A Pleasure Trip A L« ral Holiday 5 3 An Afflicted Family > •> ('aught in the Act '■'< Cai. tared Paste : ' ; ; Home 3 ;; Love's Labor Not Lost 3 •; New Years in X. V ■ ~ ,; Not So Pad After All 6 5 Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 ■' Pis 136 124 237 2 is 178 [99 174 149 3,7 237 126 265 111 264 219 239 221 262 S7 249 Our Daughters Pug and the Baby Passions s Prof. James' Experience Teaching Country School 4 Pairs and Bottles 4 with Sharps and Flats.. 3 Solon Shingle If Two Pad Boys < The Piter Pit $2,000 Reward - TRAGEDIES. The Serf fk __r€ THE GENERAL MANAGER, OK, A Shot From the Kitchen Range. A MUSICAL FARCE-COMEDY, IN THREE ACTS. BY "Walter J. Echols. TO WHICH IS ADDED — A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES— CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. Entered according to the act of Congre s in the year 1892, by AMES' PUBLISHING CO., in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. CLYDE, OHIO : / ^ j £ £ i AMES' PUBLISHING CO. \ X <0 B THE GENERAL MANAGER, y^f^s \& CAST OF CHARACTERS. o Sampson Swelson, ( mild mannered in n -m Simox Bacon, (his footman) Christopher Wise, (Professor of music) Jack Bright, ( Mr. Green's footman) , Steele Flash, (a servant) Mrs. Swelson, (an extravagant wife) Catharine, (her daughter, with a romantic tendency) Sally, ( domestic) Polly, (domestic) * Babette, (a jewel of honesty) o PRINTED FROM THE AUTHOR'S ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT. o COSTUMES. Swelson. Act I. Dark coat and vest, light trousers with black stripe, red necktie, gray wig and side whiskers. Act II. Evening costume. Act III. Dark coat and vest, light trousers. Simon. Act I. Blue coat with brass buttons, dark pants, red wig. Act II. Same. Act III. Evening costume, enormous red tie. Wise. Black dress suit, black hat, black wig. Bright. Act I. Light brown coat, light pants, white hat. Act II. Same. Act III. Evening costume, enormous white tie. Flash. Act I. Blue coat with brass buttons, light pants. Act II. Same. Act III. Evening costume, enormous black tie. Mrs Swelson. Art I. Fashionable walking dress. Act II. Evening costume. Act III. Same as Act I. Catharine. Act I. Silk dress. Act II. Same. Act III. Fash- ionable walking dress. Babette. Act I. Servants dress, white apron. Act II. Same. Act III. Extravegant ball costume. Sally. ) >• Two dresses of the same character to contrast with Bab- Polly. ) ette. PROPERTIES. Coffee pot and cups, milk-pitcher, rose, coat and clothes brush, market basket, two bell-pulls, kettle of hot water, book, purse, trayt tumblers, napkin, glasses, several small parcels, music-roll, dinner service, perfume, bottles of wine, beef's tongue, cigars, money. TIME— TWO HOURS. STAGE DIRECTIONS. r„ means Right; l„ Loft; R. h., Right Hand; h. h., Left Hand; c. Centre; s. B., 2d B.J Second Entrance; u. K., Upper Entrance; M. d., Middle Door; p., the Flat, D. f., l)oor in Flat; r. c, Right of Centre; l. c, Left of Centre. R. R. C. C. L. C. L. *** The reader is supposed to be upon the stage faoing the mi Henc^. TMP 96-007258 The General Manager. ACT I. SCENE — Kitchen, door r., a stove l., door L. 2 e., door leading to servants entrance, r. 2 e., dresser r. 1 e., table c, chairs, etc. Milk pitcher on table. Enter Simon, l. 2 e. Simon. Half-past nine and old Swelson is not through breakfast yet. I am getting tired of waiting on him every morning. I have been up since five o'clock and haven't had a bite to eat yet. He will have to change his style, for 1 won't stand this any longer. Enter Babette, r. 2 e. Sim. Well, Babette. he is not through breakfast yet. Babette. What, and its after nine o'clock? Well, I can't wait on him any longer. Sit down and eat your breakfast; it will soon be time for dinner. (bell rings violently, l. Sim. Botherism ! There he is, ringing for more coffee. I never saw such an elephant He has consumed five cups already. Bab. Make haste and drink your coffee, and when you have fin- ished he can have his. Sim. (looking into milk pitcher) But, Babette. Bab. What? Sim. The milk is nearly all gone ! Bab. That's nothing, we can soon milk the cow. (goes to dresser, puts water into milk) There, now, take it to him before the creamy appearance goes off. (gives milk pitcher, bell heard, l. Sim. What, again! What's the matter with the old heast? (look- ing into pitcher) There's a good deal of the chalk farm about this, but if he doesn't like it he can do without. (bell heard l., he exits l. 2 e. Bab. Pshaw! I wonder what's the matter with him. He doe^ nothing but ring that bell all day long. lam tired of hearing it! (knock heard r. 2 e.) Oh ! I expect that's Jack. Enter Jack, r. 2 e., followed by Steele, Sally and Polly, Sally with basket. Jack. Ah! Babette. Only one— allow me. (presents her with rose Bab, You're always gallant, Mr. Bright. A THE GENERAL MANAGER. Jack. It's mixing with the aristocracy that does it. But, Bab- ette, this is my particular night off. The fact of the matter is, Green's going with some friend-, and I thought you would like to go to the ball at Grand View; Steele. < -'^y and Polly are going, and we are going to have a glorious tune. Won't you come? Bab. I would go anywhere for a dance, (hesitates) But — Jack. You don't mean to say old Swelson has stopped you going out nights? Bab. No, but he has done something just as bad; he has asked company to dinner. Jack. The old blackguard! Well, I call that ungentlemanly conduct. Can't you make up some excuse? Bab. I will try. I'll go and tell misses about my poor aunt be- ing so ill. ; Jack. Is she ? Bab. Not a bit, except when I want her to be. Didn't I go to the circus last week on the strength of bronchitis, and hadn't she rheumatism when I was out with my cousin at the pic-nic! Jack. Ha! ha! Capital! It does you credit. Enter Simon, l. 2 e., with a coat and clothes brush. Sim. Here! I'll not stand this any longer — I'd as soon be a monkey in Barnum's menagerie. Jack. Hello! Simon Sim. Hello yourself ! (brushes coat Bab. What's the matter with you ? Sim. Matter with Swelson, you mean ! He worries the life out of me with his old clothes. Jack. Indeed? Sim. First I brush them too much, then too little; then I brush them the wrong way, then the brush is too hard, then it's too soft, then the dust comes out and the hairs stay in, then the hairs come out and the dust stays in! There's no pleasing him ! Damn the clothes! (throuos down coat and brush Jack. Ha ! ha ! Well, is he often given to that sort of thing ? Sim. It's his little game every day, seven times a week. Jack. Because you don't manage him properly. You should see the splendid training I've got Green in. You never hear him com- plain to me about his clothes; we just reverse things in my estab- lishment. If there is any complaining I do it. I don't permit him to do anything without consulting me. Sim. (amazed) Wonderful ! wonderful ! How in the world do you manage it? Jack. I'll put you up to a dodge, my boy. (slowly) Now mark me, our masters and missuses are'exactly what we make them. Sim. How? Jack. All we've to do is to profit by their weaknesses and theii vices. Sim. And when they haven't any vice? Jack, (deliberately) Then you must find them one. Sim. Give me your hand ! [shake hands) If I can find a vice for Swelson I'll promise you that my rights shall be recognized in ihe future. Swelson. (outside, l. 2 e., rings bell and calls!) Simon ! Simon ! Sim. He's at it again ! ((joing to l. 2 e. Jack, (c, to Babette) I say, Babette, we must arrange for THE GENERAL MANAGER. i this evening. Ah! excellent! I'll ask Simon to come with us. (calls) Simon, one moment. Sim. (stops) What is it? Jack. Babette, Polly, Sally, Steele and myself, have made up our minds to go to a ball this evening. Will you join us? Sim. But I don't know whether Swelson will let me go. Bab. Say your uncle's worse. Jack. Nonsense ! You must go ; we shall be all right for a quard- rille if you will come with Sally, (dances) Fol rol de ral ! (bell rings violently, l. Sallg. They will break that bell directly. Sim. There's my tormentor again! Bab. (to Sally "and Polly) It's agreed then for this evening, say ten o'clock. Sally. I've no objection, I can get off. Polly. I know I can! Steele. So can I. Swelson. (outside, l. 2 e., calling) Simon! Simon! Jack. Here's somebody coming! We had better be leaving. Good bye, Babette ! (exeunt Sally, Polly, Steele, Jack, r. 2 e. Enter Swelson, l. 2 e., in shirt sleeves, carries two bell pulls, which he hides behind his back— furiously . Swelson. Hallo! More slamming of doors. This place is like a public house. I won't have it, I say. (Simon picks up coat and brush and commences brushing Bab. It's only the milk, sir. Swel. Milk, indeed ! I don't know who gets that luxury then, I'm sure we don't, (to Simon) And my coat, sir, am I to wait all day for it ? Sim. It will be ready in a second, sir. Swel. Well hurry up, sir. I've no time to waste on you. (to Babette) Who were those people who entered the back door a few moments ago? Bab. Only a few friends, sir, who brought a message from my poor aunt. Swel. (crosses to c.) Your kitchen always has a crowd in it; one would think this was a free-and-easy instead of a gentleman's private kitchen, (sees basket Sally left on table) Ah! they have left one of their baskets. No doubt they would have carried away all the potatoes if I hadn't entered ! You would never have said a word, (to Simon) And why in the devil didn't you come when I rang ? Sim. (l., innocently) Did you ring, sir? I didn't hear the bell! Bab. I' m s u re I didn't ! Swel. Now, 'pon my life, this is too bad. "Did I ring?" Look here ! (produces bell-pulls) I shall deduct this from your wages ! I'll hnve the pull of you, sir. Sim. But, sir Swel. Not a word, sir! I'll have you understand that I am not going to stand this any longer. I don't pay you to stand around here as an ornament ! You have got to earn your salary, sir ! Sim. I do earn it, sir? won Swel. I say you don't, confound you ! Don't contradict me, I on't stand it. (to Babette) Where is the hot water 'i € TEE GENERAL MANAGEB. Bab. Hot water, sir! (takes kettle of hot water from stov6 Swel. (takes it, burns fingers) Oh ! oh ! Why the deuce didn't yon say it was hot! (Simon laughs, Swelson turns and sees him) If I thought you were snivelling at me. 1\! — Make haste with that coat, you rascal ! (going ) What a house ! What a house ! (exit, l. 2 e., growling Sim. Old dromedary I'm getting sick of this. I wish I could find him a vice! Bab. (busy at stove) Perhaps you can if you keep on the watch out! Sim. I intend too! If I get control of him once I'll make him re- gret the day he was born. " (bell heard l. 2 e.) Oh! murder! there he goes again. Bab. Take him his coat, he will get the rheumatism and then we will have to nurse him ! Sim. (wipes feet on coat— picks it up) I'm thinking it will be to his interest to dust his clothes himself hereafter. (exit, l. Bab. Oh! I do hope I can get off this evening. If missus will only consent I'll borrow Miss Catharine's best dress and go and have a glorious time. (Song can be introduced, entitled u That Little Black Mustache." Enter Catharine, l. 2 e., with book. Catharine. Babette ! Bab. Yes, miss! Cath. Have you been to market this morning! Bab. Not yet, miss. Cath. When jou go change this book and bring me the "En- chanted Lover, or a Feather from Cupid's Wing." It is a beautiful ttory, describing love, the brightest, purest joy. Bab. Indeed ! Cath. Yes, Mr. Wise recommends it as being elevating and in- structive ! Bab. What! Mr. Wise, the little music teacher? Cath. Don't you think him charming? Bab. I think he would look considerable better if he'd get a suit of decent clothes. He looks as if he had been fed on music paper, and the black dots had disagreed with him. Cath. He has a noble nature that opened my eyes and awakened me to existance. When his voice breathes out the song of love he carries me away. Bab. (aside) I expect he will soon ! Cath. Yes, I hear angels singing to harps the midnight melody of mournful love. Bab. Well, I shouldn't have thought it. Wonderful! Here comes your mamma. Cath. Pray hide the book. (Babette puts it in basket Enter Mrs. Swelson, l., in bonnet, putting on her gloves. Mrs. S. Catharine, I won't have you here; the kitchen is no pi ce for a young lady — go! (Catharine exits, l. Bab. (aside) There's trouble in the air. Mrs. S. Babette, I'm going out. Bab. So am I, ma'ain^ going to market, and as we've company what would you wish ordered for dinner? THE GENERAL MANAGER. ? Mrs, S. Mr. Swelson will attend to that. If you need anything at present you can get it at the grocers opposite. Bab. All right, ma'am ! Mrs. S. If Mr. Swelson asks for me tell him I'll be back in a few minutes. {goes to r. Bab. All right, ma'am, {stopping her) Can I say a word in a 'am ? Mrs. S. What is it? Bab. My poor aunt, (cries) She's very bad again. Mrs. S. Your aunt again ? Bab. Yes, ma'am, awful bad. I thought perhaps you would let me run out and see her about ten o'clock/ Mrs. S. Girl! are you mad? A dav when we have company. I shouldn't think of such a thing! Bab. (aside) It's no use asking her while she's in this humor. (sobs) My poor aunt! (exit, r., with basket Mrs. S. Oh ! dear, what am I to do? I can never ask Mr. Swel- son for more money, and that wretched jeweller threatens to pres- ent his bill to my husband — I wouldn't have him know of my ex- travagance for worlds. It was only last month he gave me a check for one hundred and fifty dollars. Dear, dear, this concealment is cruel! I must call on Mrs. Bragg at once. A hundred dollars to her is a mere bagatelle ; she surely won't refuse an old friend— this suspense is killing me. Enter Swelson, l. 2 e., in great rage. Swel. Where the devil is that fellow Simon? (seeing Mrs. Swel- son) Ah! Harriet, going out? Mrs. S. For a few minutes. Swel. By the way, Harriet, did you mention to Catherine that Greenwas coming to dinner,and I hope you've given her instructions not to make herself ridiculous by striking some absurd attitude. Where the deuce she got her romance from I don't know; there's nothing of that sort about me. Of course you are aware Green's fortune is gigantic, besides he is the general manager of one of the wealthiest . ailroads in the country. Mrs. S. I know. Swel. There doesn't seem to be any vice about him ! Bragg as- sured me he is most correct,and I've no doubt with a little judicious management— Eh ! my dear; you seem quite indifferent, I declare! Mrs. S. No, dear, I'm fatigued! Swel. I don't wonder at it, late hours— there, don't let me detain you. Mrs. S. (aside) I am in a fever of dread. (exit, R. Enter Simon, l. 2 e., wiih tohite apron on. Sim. (aside) What vice can I find for Swel. Simon ! Sim. Sir! Swel. Where in thunder have you been ? Half of my time is oc- cupied in chasing you about the premises! Sim. The whole of it, I think! Swel. Take off your apron and run out and get me a pair of kid gloves, camel color! Si77i. (takes off apron) Where must I get them, sir? Swel. Why at the glove shop ! Sim. Wouldn't you prefer the Temple of Economy ? 8 THE GENEBAL MANAGER. Swel. "The Temple of Economy !— Oh ! I see you know where I purchase them, Simon ? Sim. At the Temple of Econony glove and perfume shop. Swel. (with enthusiasm) Just so, where the pretty dark girl is! Sim. (eagerly) Large black eyes, and such a figure ! (with gusto) Admiratious! Swel. Just so ; raven locks, pearly teeth ! (extravagant gesture of admiration Sim. Excuse me, sir, repeating it, she is an out-and-out young lady. Swel. She is, Simon! (aside) Confound it, this fellow has some taste. Sim. (aside) Now to find him a vice! (aloud) She is — is— (hesitates) always asking about you, sir! Swel. Ah, indeed ! Sim, Yes, sir; no holding that young lady when she talks about your figure and appearance ! Swel. (flattered) You don't say so! (stops) But, Simon, you never mentioned this before! Sim. Because I have a very poor memory, sir; and then you know how you treat me, always yelling at me about your clothes! Swel. Singular! What did she say about me, Simon? Si7n. (aside) He's a nibbling. (a'oud) I wouldn't like to tell all, sir; but she said you were one of the handsomest gents out! Swel. (excited) And what did you say, Simon? (aside) This is getting exciting. Sim. Of course I lied a good deal, because you know you are ilways complaining and singing out after ine. 1 wish i was a dog sometimes. Swel. Well, its your fault, you seem to take a fiendish delight in exciting my naturally calm disposition. Sim. You are always jumping around, calling Simon here and Simon there! Once 1 wished 1 was a horse! Swel. Never mind being ambitious — tell me what she said about my figure ! Sim. (aside) He's nibbling again. Well, sir — (stops Swel. Go on ! Sim. Its just this ; the young lady — (stops Swel. (clutching him excitedly) Make haste! Sim. (aside) He's on the hook solid, (aloud) It's no use de- ceiving you, sir; the truth is, she is just dying to make your ac- quaintance! Swel. Dying to make my acquaintance! (flattered) Nonsense, and at my age, too! Sim. That's nothing, sir, when you are buckled up and have your clothes brushed, like I brush them, nobody would take you lor more than — (reflecting) sixty ! Swel. (quickly) I am not fifty-five yet! Sim. (aside) I've done it now ! Swel. Everybody knows that delightful creature! What a thing it is to be } r oung and good looking. Sim. (going) Can I say a word for you, sir? Swel. No, no, decidedly not! On reflection I'll go mvself. Go aid bring me my overcoat. Sim. (aside) I think I'm solid for the ball to-night! (exit. l. THE GENERAL MANAGER. 9 Sivel. Now who would have thought it? Dying to make my ac- quaintance. Ha, ha! There's no use talking, they can't resist us old boys ! Tra la la ! (exit, r. Enter Babette, c, with basket carrying vegetables, etc. Bub. I have ordered three turkeys for dinner, so we won't run short in the kitchen. Enter Cathakine, l. 2 e. Cath. Oh ! Babette, where's my novel ? Bab. In the basket! I paid fifty-cents subscription, miss ! Cath. I'm sorry for that. I dare not ask mamma for money just now. I know she is fearfully annoyed about some money she already owes— I think I heard her say it was a hundred dollars! Bab. A hundred dollars! (aside) It's as well to know that; I have just that amount saved up. Cath. Hush ! she is coming! (takes book and exits, l. Enter Mrs. Swelson, r., appears much embarrassed. Mrs S. Refused! What shall I do? I am in a terrible predica- ment ! Bab. (approaching) Excuse me, ma'am, I was going to ask your advice, (aside) This will end in a blow-up, I see. Mrs S. My advice ! Bab. Well, perhaps, I had better put it off until another time, when you ain't so worried ! Mrs S. What is it? Let me know at once! Bab. If you please, ma'am, I was going to say — (stops) Oh! never mind. I won't trouble you now! Mrs S. Why do you hesitate? Let me know at once. Bab. Well, ma'am, I've got a few savings Mrs S. (aside) Fortunate girl ! (aloud) You have a few sav- ings? Bab. A few dollars left by my mother, and a few earnings since I've been out to service, and I thought perhaps you'd be kind enough to take charge of them and put them in the stocks, or some place where they will be safe, for I don't like putting my money in banks, they were the ruin of my Aunt Matilda; she put all her money in a bank and it was so full it busted. Mrs S. Babette, hovv much have you managed to save? Bab. Not very much, ma'am, only a hundred dollars! (aside) I'll take good care to have an acknowledgement, though ! Mrs S. (hastily) A hundred dollars! (aside) The very sum refused me by Mrs. Bragg. Bab. You will be doing me a favor, ma'am, to take charge of it. Mrs S. (aside) What! borrow money of my servants — humilia- tion indeed. Bab. I hope you won't refuse me, ma'am ! Mrs S. (quickly No, give me the money ! Bab. I'm very much obliged, I'm sure. I'll run to my room and get it. Mrs S. Babette, if I can't find a suitable investment I shall re- turn the money in a few days. Bab. Thank you. Mrs S. (aside) Saved ! Bab. (aside) It strikes me I shall go to the ball this evening! (exit, r. 2 e. 10 TEE GENERAL MANAGER. Enter Swelson, l., fashionable walking suit. Swel. Ah ! my dear, I have been looking for you. Mrs S. One would imagine you were bound on a captivating ex- pedition, if you were a few years younger! Swel. (aside) What the deuce does she mean by a few years younger? Enter Simon, l. 2 e. Sim. Mr. Wise, the music teacher. Swel. Go and see him, Harriet; I don't admire his manner to- wards Catherine — somebody should be in the room with them. Mrs S. Yes, I've noticed it. I'll see him at once, (aside) His bill must be settled first. Enter Babette, r., with purse. Bab. Here's the money, ma'am; thank you, I'm much obliged. Mrs. Swelson exits, l. Swel. (to Simon) Is my tie all right? Sim. Splendid ! You look like a robin red-breast! Swel. Now then on the wings oflove, love, love! (skips off R. 'Sim. (imitating him) He's swallowed hook and all, all, all ! (dances off R. Enter Jack, Steele, Sally and Polly, r. 2 e. Jack. Well, Babette, is it a 1 right? Bab. I think my leave is certain. Sim. (returns r., rubbing his hands) I shall have mine! Jack. Nonsense! You don't mean to say the governor has \ en in Sim. (crosses to c.) No, but I've found his vice! Bab. His vice? All. (surrounding him eagerly) Well, what is it? Sim. Pretty dark girls ! (all laugh END OF ACT I. ACT II. SCENE — Dining room; a cupboard c, a door l. 1 e. leading into Mrs. Swelson's room; door l. 2 e. leading into Mr. Swelson's room ; door l., door r. 2 e. to kitchen; side-board r., against flat; tables and chairs r. c. Enter Wise, l. Wise. I've looked all over the house for Miss Catharine, but I can't rind her. I wonder where shecan be. It is time for her music lesson. I am afraid her rascally old father has discovered we love each other and is trying to separate us. If that is the case I'll de- nounce him at the first opportunity. Ah ! here comes Miss Cathar- ine at last. THE GENE HAL MANAGE It. 11 Enter Miss Catharine l. 1 e. Wise. Ah! Catherine, my darling — Cnth. Hush! mamma is coming! Christopher, you must fly ! Wise, (kneels and grasps Catherine's hand) Before I go, Cath- arine, let me hear you say I may hope. Cath. (romantically) Yes. "Hope on; the brightest flower's may decay, But love bids you hope on, I say." (Mrs. S. speaks outside Cath^. Gracious, I hear mamma's voice, quick! Fly! (drags him up) You can comeback later with some dance music for this even- ing. Go ! (he goes off l., Catharine starts off r» Enter Mrs. Swelson, l. 1 e. Mrs S. Catharine! Cath. (stops) Mamma. Mrs S. (aside) How excited she appears. (aloud) Was that Mr. West who just left? Cath. Yes, mamma! Mrs S. (aside) I shall certainly write him a note to say his ser- vices can be dispensed with. (aloud) My dear Catharine, I have a communication of some importance to make to you directly— await me in your room. Cath. But what means this mystery? Mrs S. Later, my dear child, you shall know all, but rest as- ured your happiness is my chiefest care. Now go. (leading her towards door, l. 2 e. Cath. (going) To be sacrificed, perhaps. Oh! Christopher! Christopher ! ( exit L . i E< Mrs iS. (rinas bell and calls) Babette ! Babette ! Enter Babette, r, 2 e. Bab. Yes, ma'am. Mrs S. How dare you leave Miss Catharine alone with her music teacher when I gave you particular instructions to be present? Ee- member I won't tolerate it, and unless I see a decided improvement, Bab. Oh! that's it, is it? There, then ! somebodv else can cook the dinner. (takes off apron and throws it down Mrs S. What, leave me on the very day Mr. Green is coming to dinner. One musn't say a word to you or you liy into a pet! °I'm sure I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. (picks up apron) Now, no nonsense, Babette. (she puts apron on Babette' Bab. (aside) I'm sure of my leave to-night. Takes strings of apron Mrs. Swelson has passed around and ties them. 3Irs S. I suppose you've been worried with the cooking? Bab. Yes, and my poor aunt's so ill, I can scarcely manage the cooking thinking about it. Mrs 8. (aside) She musn't spoil the dinner upon which perhaps the happiness of Catharine depends, (aloud) Babette, when the work is well over 12 THE GENERAL MANAGER. Bab. If you'd allow me to run out about ten o'clock, ma'am. {sobs) Hi, hi, hi! Poor aunt! Mrs 8. There, don't cry, you may go, but you must not say anything about it to Mr. Swelson. {aside) ; After all, Simon will be here. Bab. I'm very much obliged, ma'am, (aside) I knew I could manage it. {exit, R. 2 e. Enter Swelson, l. Swel. Come back my dear, you see Mrs S. Why, Sampson, you have the air of a conquerer. Swel. (aside) She doesn't know how near the truth she is! {aloud) Can't account for it, myjdear; the contemplation of Cath- arine's prospects, perhaps! By the way, did you mention to her that Mr. Green Mrs S. Yes, I hinted that Swel. Why don't you tell the child plainly without mincing the matter ? Mrs S. I'll speak to her at once. (exit, l. 1 e. Enter Simon, r. 2 e., with tray, on which are tumblers, napkins and glasses — comes to Swelson. Sim. Seen her, sir ? Swel. ' Hush! (looks to see if Mrs. Swelson is gone Sim. (whispering) How is she? places tray on table Swel. Well, Simon, I've seen her — spoken to her — a perfect di- vinity ! Sim. She is. (aside) He's been and gorged himself! Swel. Confound it, the store was full of customers — she didn't have an opportunity of sajang much, but she looked. Ah! she looked Sim. You don't say so! It's your appearance that done it! Swel. No doubt about it, Simon ; I've made some investments, in fact I bought a lot of things I didn't want, (takes parcels from pock- ets) Perfume, toilet soap, that's eye-wash, wrinkle-water, neck- ties, gloves, more perfume, collars, handkerchiefs— total ; thirteen dollars and seventy-five cents. Sim. Why, she couldn't help admiring you. Swel. Yes, I think I did the correct thing; now if I could only manage to say a word to her this evening, but this confounded din- ner Sim. That's nothing, you could slip out about ten o'clock; no- body would ever miss you. See, you'd be sure to find her alone. Swel. Eh! What? Let me 'think, (aside) Egad! I might manage it. Sim. (boldly) Then you won't need me here? Swel. What — not need you? Sim. Well, sir, as you are going out, I thought I might be able to get away for an hour or two. Swel. What for, pray ? Sim. Why, I've promised to meet the young lady I keep com- pany with. Hwel. Indeed! Sim. You see, because I'm a servant, that's no reason I shouldn't THE GENERAL MAX AG EM. 13 have an attachment, just a little one, you know. Of course, sir, its nothing like yours. Swel. (aside) He's making capital out of me. I guess I'd better let him go. {aloud) Well, Simon, on condition yon say nothing about it, I consent to your leaving at ten. (aside) After all, Bab- ette can bring up the refreshments, (gives him the parcels) Put these in my room; and Simon, there won't be any necessity to call Mrs. Swelson's attention to them. Sim. Of course not; muni's the word. Everything between you and me is between us two. (pokes him in ribs and exits l., carrying parcels Swel. I think I've made an ass of myself— taking that fellow in- to my confidence. Curse him, he's abusing it already ! Enter Catharine from l. 2 e., crying. Cath. He! he! he! (sobs Swel. What's the matter with you ? Cath. The silken skeins of sacred love are to be snapped. Oh. clear, my heart will break ! (sobs Enter Babette, r. 2 e. Bab. (crossing to L.) What, crying, Miss Catharine? Cath. (l.) Yes, the tears of despair. Oh! Babette, they're go- ing to marry me — (sob)— to a man I don't know — a Mr. Green. (softs) These are the bub — bub — bles of a bur — bursting heart. Bab. (aside) Mr. Green, why that's Jack's master. Swel. Now did anybody ever see such a little idiot! Cath. I'll never marry Mr. Green, never! Bab. -And quite right, too! Swel. (to Babette) Nobody appealed to you, young woman? (to Catharine) As for you, I'm ashamed of you ; you'll love him bye-and-bye ! ' Cath. Never! Love is the union of two sympathizing souls, and these two souls, like twin harps, must give out the s.uue sound or love's harmony is destroyed. Swel. Now di'i anybody ever hear such rubbish? Why, love is the union of two fortunes, and unless they give out a good metalic sound there's no harmony, that's what you mean. As for loving him look at me, your mother never loved me when she married meT I don't know whether she even didn't think I was repulsive. Bob. (at side-board) That's very likely ! 8weK I wasn't addressing you, young "woman ! (to Catharine) And I maintain without money mere's no happiness. Nothing like a metalie alliance for comfort and contentment. Bab. Pretty principles, indeed ! Swel. (to Babette) Will you keep quiet once for all? Bab. Yes, we poor servants know the end of such matches; they're brimstone owes, or silent deceivers every one of them — there ! Steel. That girl will drive me mad. (looks at watch) Time to put on the swallow-tail, (to Catharine) I'll stand no more of this nonsense; go to your room and remember the duty of a daugh- ter is to obey. .Cath. I will go, but I shall resist to the last. True love will give me strength ! (exit, l. 1 k. U THE GENEHAL 21 AN AGE fl. Swcl. Hereafter, young raoinan, I want you to mind your own business. I won't stand this again. Now go into the kitchen where you belong! Bab. Every word I said was the truth and you know it! Sicel. I don't eare if it is; hold your tongue. Go to the kitchen. (Babette arranges table as if unconscious of Swelson's presence) Do you hear me? Go to the kitchen! I say for you to go in the kitch- en ! Well, confound it, stay where you are then ! Bab. Ha! ha! ha! I'm going into the kitchen, but not on ac- count of you, old bear ! {exit R. 2 e. Sivel. "Old bear ! There's got to be a change made in this house ; somebody is trying to cause me trouble, and I believe the "some- body" is that little rascally music teacher. The next time I see him around here I'll discharge him. I have had enough of his nonsense. {exit, l. 2 e. Enter Wise, l., with music roll. Wise. I've brought the music— Ah ! Miss Catharine not here! I wonder how I can manage to see her. Ah ! I have it, I'll announce myself. {song Bab. I thought I heard— (sees Wise) Oh! so it's you who was making all the noise. Wise, (l.) Ah ! Babette, tell me where is Catharine? Boo. In her room. But say, you've lost your chance, they're going to marry her! Wise. Marry her ! Marry Catharine? Bab. Yes, she is to meet her proposed husband to-day ! Wise. What! And does she consent? Bab. No. She says she will resist to the last! If I was you I would get her to elope, for her father is determined she shall marry Mr. Green. Wise. But how can I see her? Bab. Very easily — take away that music and bring it again. No- Dody has seen you come, and I'll tell her so she can meet you. Wise. Excellent. {takes the music Bab. I hear some one coming — fly ! You musn't be seen. (Wise exits l. Enter Jack, r. 2 e., followed by Simon, Steele, Sally and Polly. Jack. I'm furious, Babette! Green is going to dine here and I didn't know it. This state of affairs can't last. Bob. Yes, and be is going to marry Miss Catharine! Jack. 1 shall never consent to it. Sim. (l.) Why, what's that to do with you? Jack. (C.) Do with me, dolt? Don't you know I've made him do as I like, and if he marries won't I have to do as she likes, so all the education I've given him would be thrown away. Now I ap- peal to you all, is it fair? All. Certainly not! Jack. And you will assist me in preventing it? All. We will ! we will ! Jack. That's right. Bab. And more— she shall marry the man she likes, little Wise, ;he music-teacher, TEE GENERAL MANAGER. U Jack, Music-teacher. That little curiosity ? Bab. Well, he can't help that; he's to be pitied for it* Jack. I'm clone, Babette. Since you guarrantee she shall marry him ; I put it to a vote. All. She shall ! she shall ! Enter Mrs. Swelson, l. 2 e., in evening costume. Mrs S. What, Babette, chatter, chatter again? What are all these people doing here ? Enter Swelson, l. 2 e., in full-dress suit. Swel. (crosses toe.) Holloa! strangers again, confound it Si- mon, I won't have it ! Bab. (r. ) A few friends of mine who came in to help us with the dinner. Gives Jack, Steele, Simon, Polly and Sally plates to clean, R. at back, supplies them with napkins, they work vigorously. Swel. Friends, indeed ! You have an army of them. Bab. Where a dinner is ordered in a hurry its not easy work for two. Swel. Don't talk to me, you impudent young Mrs S, (stopping him — aside) Don't aggravate her. Bab. (presents Jack, r.) Mr. Green's footman, ma'am. Swel. (patroniziny — crosses to r.) Oh! young man, so you're Mr. Green's servant? Jack. I have that honor. (bell rings Swel. That's him in all probability. Jack. ( aside) No fear, I've locked up all his clothes! Swel. Harriet, my dear, we had better go and meet our guest. (exeunt, l. Jack, (to Babette) I am going into the kitchen to write a letter. There's no fear of Green coming. Bab. Ah ! if all the servants were like Jack. Jack. What a nice time their master's would have. ( bell rings l. exit R. 2 e. Sim. Confound the bells; I'm always running after them. Bab. Oh, let the bells go; I'm going to sing a song and I want you all to join in the chorus. All. All right ! (Babette song ivith chorus — all exit r. 2 e. Enter Swelson, l., comes down C, looks at watch. Swel. Forty minutes pa?t the time and no signs of Mr. Green. I consider it very bad taste to keep us waiting. I can't understand it — this conduct is strange. Bragg assured me he was a desirable young man, but still— confound it, I've a good mind — I will too. (calls) Babette! Babette! Enter Babette, r. 2 e., with tray, on which are knives, forks, spoons, etc., and places it on sideboard. Bab. Sir ! Swel. Come here. I want to ask you a few questions. Did you ever hear Mr. Green's servant speak about his master? Bab. (goes to R. of table a,\d arranges napkins , etc.) Oh ! Jack is 16 THE GENERAL MANAGE!}. a deal too well brought up to say anything about his mastei\ Swel. {eagerly) Then there is something bad to say — Bab. Weil, I don't like to tell you, but people will talk, you know. The other day at the grocers opposite, I heard — the knives, please — ( points to them on sideboard Swel. (l. of table, he gets knives and hands them to her) Eh! what did you hear? Bab. I don't like to tell you, sir, for its awful. Sioel. Tell me exactly what you heard ! Bab. Well, then, they said — Swel. (eagerly) Yes. Bab. That Mr. Green— give me the spoons, please. (same business Swel. The spoons Where ? Ah ! (gives them) So they said that Mr. Green — Bab. Wasn't the lamb he looked ! Swel. Excitable, is he? Bab. Sir, that's no name for it. Swel. Violent? Bab. Worse — he's a tiger, a blood-thirsty eagle. Why, it was only last week he nearly murdered his tailor. Swel. (alarmed) Murdered his tailor? Bab. And that isn't all — those glasses! (same business Swel. Babette, it strikes me you take me for Simon? Bab. Well, if you keep on bothering me I shall never finish my work. Swel. (aside) Very true, she's quite right, (goes to side-board and brings tray, on which are forks, knives, etc., takes them to table and arranges them, as if unconscious of his position — Babette seeing him so well occupied sits on chair R. of table and crosses her awns) Only to think what a villian he must be. I shall ask Bragg what he mentis by introducing him here. Murder his tailor! Why, a man who would do that would manslaughter his wife. Bab. Yes, and enjoy it. Well, I would rather have a brutal hus- band than-a — Swel. [going to Babette) Inconstant — you don't say that Mr Green — Bab. (rising) Between us two he's a Bluebeard! Swel. Ah ! they say that, do they? Bab. Well, the grocer opposite, he sees all the goings on — he says he's worse than two Bluebeards. Swel. And to think that fellow Bragg should mislead me in this manner; assured me he was mildness itself, and as rich as a Both- child. Bab. Rich ! ha, ha, ha ! Why his house is like a regular syna- gogue. The Jews running in and out all day lending him money. Swel. Jews? Bab. Oh ! I wouldn't say a word for the world, but the grocer opposite, you know. Swel. I've a good mind to— what the devil does Bragg mean by imposing on me — egad, it's lucky I haven't gone further in this af- fair. Bab. But you have invited him here to dinner. Swel. Dinner, indeed ! No, no; but he shall have his desert. I'll show him what it is to rouse the blood of a Swelson, but I'll dine first. Yes, it's cowardly to attack a man on an empty stomach,. THE GENERAL MANAGER. 17 and I've a natural aversion to punch anybody's head until the port has been around six or seven times. Confound him, I say — murder his tailor, (walks stage in great rage) I'll dine at my club — nobody shall dine here ! Enter Mrs. Swelson, l., followed by Jack. Mrs S. Sampson, I consider this message of Green's little short of an insult. Swel. What is the matter, my dear? {to Jack) What's your business, young man? Jack. Simply to deliver Mr. Green's message, and to say he can't come. Swel. (shouting) Bravo! (dances with joy) Not coming! hurrah ! Mrs S. Why, Sampson, you must be mad. (to Jack) You can tell Mr. Green for me thai I consider his conduct unbecoming a gentleman. Swel. (furiously) And you can tell him for me that — (stopping — aside) Never mind, he murdered his tailor! Jack. I shall convey your opinion of Mr. Green to Mr. Green. (exit, l. Mrs S. I must say, Mr. Swelson, you take this extraordinary conduct of Mr. Green's in a very cool manner. Swel. Yes I do, and I'm devilish glad he isn't coming. Mrs S. What on earth do you mean ? Swel. Why, he is a Turk, a Bluebeard, a — demon, ray dear — narems. I'll tell you all bve-and-hye. I'm glad we haven't gone further in this matter. Dine here, indeed! Nobody shall dine here. Mrs 8. Perhaps you'll allow me to have a voice in this matter. Swel. Harriet, my dear, this has dashed my spirits, (aside) If that young man delivers ray message to his master the house even mightn't be safe, (aside) There's a blight over this confounded dinner, a blight over the apartment; let us get out of it. I'll tell you what I'll do — I'll give you and Catharine a dinner at Delmoni- co's an< I take you to the opera. Mrs S. But, Sampson, my dear — Swel. Not another word — I'll tell you all about it after dinner. Babette, order a cab, we are going to the opera and shan't be back till midnight, (calls) Simon! Simon! Wh"re the devil is Simon? Mrs S. What explanation can I give Catharine? (Babette exits, l. Swel. Don't give her any — get ready, my dear, at once. Let us get cut of the house, (aside) Murdered his tailor! (calls) Sim- on! Simon ! (Swelson exits l. 2 e., Mrs. Swelson exits l. 1 e. Enter Simon, l., carrying several parcels which he places on table. Sim. Well, I like the violet pretty good, but the wrinkle- water is not a bit of use. (Swelson heard l. calling Simon!) Comlng,sir. (puts perfume on his hair) I knew that little music teacher was go- ing it too fast; and now Mrs. Swelson has stopped Miss Catharine's lessons. 1 don't blame her, either, the young lady does nothing hue read novels and stab herself with a paper knife— practicing it iu front of a looking glass. Its awful. 1S THE GENERAL MANAGE E* Swel. {outside — calling) Simon, my brushes and perfume ! Sim. In a moment, sir. (takes bottle and reads label) Odors from Rosamond's bower, (reads others) Sighw from the Seraglio — let's have a sigh or two. (saturate* ■'■ •■ ' ' "ndkerehief — smelling it) Ah! splendid! Ah ! ah! It goes up to one's brain, (empties bottle) I'll take some of this to the ball and saturate my clothes with it so the girls can't resist me. Enter Swelson, l. 2 e., in dressing gown. Swel. Confound it, Simon, this is too bad. Sim. (aside) Nipped, and no mistake ! (aloud) What, sir? Swel. (seizing bottle) Damn it, you've been using my perfume. Sim. It was only a little drop, just a smell you know. (wrings out handerchief Swel. (going to table) And my pomatum — you've been at that, too, you rascal. Sim. Beg pardon, sir — bear's grease, certainly not. Swel. But I say you have; don't contradict me — I was wonder- ing how my perfume disappeard so rapidly. Sim. 'Pon my honor, sir, first time. Swel. (angrily) Don't talk to me about first time, you've been using it for the last week — whew! whew! you smell like a barn- yard now — you must have emptied the bottle. Sim. (pathetically) And I've done all this to oblige you. Swel. To oblige me? Sim. Yes, sir, and I've done it at an alarming: sacrifice. Natur- ally I hate perfumes — what I've suffered since I've taken to them you don't know, (aside) And I'm blowed if I can tell you. Swel. Then what the devil possessed you to use them ? Sim. (mysteriously) Because I was determined to serve you, sir. Swel. Serve me? Sim. Yes, and I've done it ; but since you accuse me I will speak. Miss Kitty — Swel. Kitty at the glove shop? Sim. Yes, she's always imploring me to use them. I know I've been stinking like a pole-cat all this week, but I promised her I'd do it and I've done it, but it's playing thunder with my constitution ! Swel. She asked you! She! What for? Sim. Why for love — Swel. I can't understand you ! I think it has played thunder with your brains as well as your constitution. Explain. Sim. It's as clear as mud in a wine glass, (sloioly) The faster the scent goes the sooner you come. Swel. (flattered) Oh ! I see— just so — little divinity. Sim. She bothers the life out of me, and very natural, too. She wants to see you oftener. Swel. Now really, Simon, can this be? Sim. True, on my buttons. If I was you I'd run over and see her to-night, as Green isn't coming. Swel. To-night! Impossible! I'll go over and see her to-mor- row, sure. Sim. Oh, she may be deal by then, die of n broken heart. I tell you, sir, you are not treating. the young lady right. Swel. But Mrs. SwHson — ah! (aside) I know what I'll do, supper is ready here ; Harriet and Catharine can wait and go to the THE GENEEAL MANAGER. 10 opera to-morrow night. I'll go over and see the young lady now while I have a chance. Mrs iS. (speaks outside l.) Swel. Great Cea-ar! here Comes my wife! I must hurry, (aloud) Simon, I've decided to go over and see the young lady. I have promised to take Mrs. Swelson to the oppra to-nijht, but, when she comes looking for me tell her I have gone over to Mr. Green's to de- mand an explanation for his conduct. I'll hide in the cupboard now, while you so to mv room and bring me my hat and coat. Make haste— here she comes now. (exit Swelson in cupboard Sim. By jingo, here's a go. Hiding in the cupboard to escape taking his wife^to the opera and to see another girl. There's no danger of me eating snow-balls this winter. {exit l. 2 e. Enter Mrs. Swelson, l. 1 e. Mrs S. Why. Sampson not ready yet? I wonder what detains him? (rings bell) Babette! Enter Babette, r. 2 e. ~ Bab. Ma'am ! Mrs S. Is Miss Catharine ready? Bab. I'll see, ma'am ! (exit l. 1 e. Mrs S. I see it was qui' e time for me to stop Mr. Wise's visits here; that stupid girl Catharine seems infatuated with him— I won- der what Sampson heard about Mr. Green; I am determined he shall tell me before dinner. Enter Catharine, l. 1 e. Cat Ik (with a mournful dejected air) Mamma, I am ready for the sacrifice — lead on ! Mrs S. I wish you would get rid of that dejected air. How can you ever expect to get a husband if you go around like a mourner? Cath. 1 don't want a husband— I never mean to marry ! Mrs 8. Don't be silly. (aside) She can't be thinking of that Mr. Wise — impossible. Enter Babette, l. 1 e. Mrs S. Bnbette, step to Mr. Swelson's room and tell him to make haste. It is getting late. Bub. Yes, ma'am, (goes to door l. 2 e., opens it and looks in) Master is not in his room, ma'am. Mis S. What, not in his room ! Where is he then ? (noise in cupboard, pause, and dishes heard falling Enter Jack, Steele, Polly and Sally, r. 2 e. Simon enters l. 2e. with Swelson's hat and coat. Mrs S. Great heavens! what is the meaning of that noise? Re-enter Swelson, c.,from cupboard; torn clothes, face bloody, cov- ered with pans, dishes, etc. They laugh at him. END OF ACT II. tO TEE GENERAL MANAGER. ACT III. SCENE — Parlor, large door c, with curtains draped back; door L. 2 e.. door R. 3 e., piano r. 1 e., mantel l. 1 e., with fireplace, chan- delier^ c, stand of flowers against flat, r. oj door; table and chairs, L. C. Enter Simon, c. Sim. I wonder where Babette is. It is a settled fact we don't go to the ball this evening. Swelson is in his room nursing a broken nose, and is as mad as a hornet; I wish that 1 had known that he was going to take his wife to the opera before I mentioned the per- fnme-shop girl to him, We could have gone to the ball, had a good time and got back without them knowing anything about it. Enter Babette, l. 2 e. Bab. Oh ! Simon, it's all right. Sim. What's all right? Bab. The ball. Master has decided to take missus to the opera after all. It's rather late, but they will have time if they hurry, and they won't be back till midnight. Sim. They won't — hurrah! I thought it was all up with us. Bab. So did I, but it ain't. What do you think I've done? Sim. Can't say. Bab. Invited Jack, Steele, Polly and Sally to spend the evening here. Sim. You don't say so. Then I'll go and get out Swelson's best suit before he locks his wardrobe. Let me know when they arrive. (exit r. 3 e. Bab. Oh, this beautiful room shall be ours until midnight. Shan't we have a charming evening? Enter Wise, c. from l., comes down cautiously. Bab. (turning) Oh! Mr. Wise, is that you? Wise. You know my sad case, Babette? Bab. Yes, I know — "played too fast, out of time, got dismissed. But your case will be a good deal sadder if master finds you here. Wise. I care not what happens; and I walk as if I was doing the "Dead March in Saul !" Bab. Indeed ! What can I do for you? Wise. Would you give this to Miss Catherine? (offers note Bab. Consider my principles! (reflecting) Well, give it here! (takes letter) Good-bye, I'm in a burr}'. Wise. When may I come for the answer? Bab. (aside) Stop, let me see — (aloud) Come back in half an hour, (aside) He may be useful. Enter Swelson, c. from r., with plaster across his nose, and bandage around his head. Swel. Helloa ! Wise. Oh! I'm lost! (exit, r. 3 e. Swel. Confound that little monkey's Impudence. If I ever find him around here again I'll break every bone in his body, (to Bab- ette) Hello! what are you doing here? Did he give you that letter ? THE GENERAL MANAGER. 21 Bab. No, sir. (hides letter behind her Swel. He didn't, eh ? I know better— I saw him give it to you ! Now hereafter if you want to meet anybody, name some other place. This is not a public house. Bab. I know that ; but I don't have to hide in a cupboard when E want to meet anyone. Ha ! ha ! (exit, l. 2 e. Swel. I'll bet everybody in this neighborhood knows that I hid in that cupboard. What a fool I've made of myself. If my wife learns the truth I'll be in a nice predicament. 1 told her that I was in there after my hat, but I couldn't explain how my hat got in there. Whether she believes me or not I can't tell, but I'm hoping and praying that she does. I don't feel like going to the opera after that fall, but I guess I'll have to; it's so seldom that I ask Harriet to go to the opera that she won't let this chance go by. Enter Mrs. Swelson and Catharine, l. 2 e., followed by Babette. Mrs S. Well, Sampson, are you ready now? Swel. Quite readv, my dear — let us go. Mrs S. (going) Kemember, Babette, what I said about not wait- ing up. Swel. (going) Tell Simon to go to bed early, (to Catharine) Come. Cath. (going— mournfully) To be sacrificed at last. My poo heart. (exit Sampson, Mrs. Swelson and Catherine, e. to l. Enter Jack, r. 3 B. Jack. Has the governor gone, Babette? Bab. Yes, he's just left. Jack. Hurrah! Where is Simon? Bab. He's selecting. Jack. By-the-way, Babette, how do I look? Bab. Magnificent! Is that your last investment? Jack. Yes, and Green hasn't bad taste, has he? Bab. No, it looks like it was made to order. I shall leave you to do the honors while I dress. Jack. If you want a lady's maid, my services you know are — Bab. Ah ! naughty creature ! (exit l. 2 e. ( loud laughter heard off l. u. e. Enter Steele, Sally and Polly, c. from l. Steele. This way, my ladies? Jack. Ah ! so you all managed to get off, did you ? Steele. Yes; we tried to get some friends to join us but they couldn't get away. There's not many of us but I guess we can have quite a pleasant evening. Jack. Can't fail to have one. Steele. I have a little contribution to make, (pulls two bottles from pocket) Burgundy! They've been in our cellar ever so long —Bragg don't seem to wan't them, and if he does he won't get them, that's all. (pulls out parcel) And here's a tongue. Jack. A tongue that won't be likely to tell any lies about the matter. Steele, (pulls out two more bottles) Champagne! Jack, That will come m uaeiui for the ladies. 8& THE GENERAL MANAGER. Steele. Bragg gave me particular instructions to put it in a dry place. Jack. Well, I don't know any dryer place than a fellow's throat when he has been dancing. Steele, (pulls out another parcel) There's a chicken in that! Jack. Champagne and chicken ain't bad. (takes out two bottles) Madiera! I'll answer for that liquor — Green paid a big sum for it — he'll be glad of your opinion, {takes out cigars) Cigars — Steele. Cigars ! Jack. Yes, none of your penny Pickwicks. (Steele smell them -to girls) Now, girls, take these things and put them on the table, while we illuminate. Two girls arrange table, bottles, etc. Jack jumps on chair and lights chandeliers. Steele. That chair won't be improved that way. Jack. It doesn't belong to me, you muff. Steele. I forgot, no more it does. (lights candles on piano Jack. I call this doing the right thing, and very gratifying it would be to Old Swelton to see us — regular wax ones, these. Sally. The rable is all ready. Jack, (jumping off chair) And the saloon's illuminated, (lights up} Hurrah! Sally. Where's Simon and Babette? Jack. Ah! here they come, (goes to door c. and announces in pompous tones) Mr. and Mrs. Swelson. Enter Babette, c. from l., in extravagant ball costume, followed by Simon in full evening dress, etc. Babette imitates manner of fash- ionable lady. Bab. Ten thousand pardons, dear friends. Sam.- (grand tone) Always the way with that damn hair-dresser, never comes on time, (aside) I think that will astonish them, (to Jack) Don't my get-up alarm you? Jack. Ha ! ha ! it's rather short in the waist ! Sim. That's Swetson's fault; I shall speak to him about it! If I'm going to wear his clothes I can't have my figure spoilt! Sally. Suppose we have supper. Jack. Excellent! (addressing Simon and Steele in grand style) Chairs! (they all place chairs around table (Medley.) Enter Wise, c. from l., Babette advances to him. Bah. (to Wise) Make yourself at home ! Wise, (l., astonished) Servants! Bab. (to her guests) Ladies and gentlemen I present the orches- tra, (introduces Wise All. The orchestra? Bab. Mr. Wise, professor of music, I'm sure he will be delighted to plav while we arrange a quadrille. Wise, (astounded) Play for them— servants, too! Bab. Well, alter what I've done for you. Wise, (aside) If I don't oblige her good-bye to my letter for Catharine! THE GENERAL MANAGE11. it Bah. Now than, Mr, Wise, piano if you please. All. Music, music! Jack. Now then, young trombone, music! Strike up. Babette leads him to piano, and Simon and Steele remove table to side, l. Wise, (bewildered) The depths of humiliation ! Jack. Take your place for the quadrille. {they form set Wise plays quadrille, they dance grotesquely — at the end of the first figure. Bab. (fills glasses, goes towards Wise) Don't let us forget! Sim. {taking it from her and carrying it to him) Ah ! don't let us forget the orchestra. Wise, {taking it) I drink to my humiliation. (they commence the second figure — in the middle of it Enter Mr. and Mrs. Swelson and Catharine, c. from l. Swel. {aghast) Damn it, why — why, what's all this? Mrs S. A supper! Servants! A ball ! My drawing room ! Swel. Helloa ! Music played on a little — all the servants run of c. in confusion; Wise suddenly turns around and sees the state of affairs, buries his face in his hat ;by mistake runs into Miss Swelson's room, l. 2 e. Simon and Babette stand confused. Swel. (furiously) An orgie ! a bachnalian meeting! a free-and- easy — my servants, too! Damn it! (stamps and raves Mrs S. This passes all bearing. Bab. {confusedly) It's my birthday, ma'am ! Mrs S. And I declare the girls got on Catharine's best dress. Swel. (to Simon) Confound it, you rascal, you've been helping yourself to my wardrobe, and a pretty figure you've made of your- self. Sim. Allow me to — Swel. Not a word — you leave to-morrow. Mrs S. (to Babette) And you, miss, to-night ! Babette weeping, takes out handkerchief, and in doing so Wise's note falls out, Mrs S. False creature! I'm not to be deceived again, and my best handkerchief! I declare the creature's crying in it! Bab. (sobbing) Mistake in the wash! Swel. (picking up letter) What's this? Bab. (aside) Gracious, Mr. Wise's letter! {tries to regain it Swel. Why it's for mv daughter. Mrs S. For Catharine? Cath. For me, ma'ma? Bab. In spite of everything Mr. Wise would give it to me. Mr. and Mrs. Swel. and Cath. Mr. Wise! Swel. {reading) What the deuce does he mean ? He talks about carrying her oft ! Mrs S. The wretch ! Cath. Be careful, mamma, how you abuse him— and if you sep- »rate us — Swel. Well, what then? Cath. (with energy) Then the consequence be on your heads— U THE GENERAL MANAGER. remember an irritated and oppressed woman is capable of anything — mark, I repeat — anything ! Wise comes out l. 2 e. and rushes to Catharine. Wise. Of course she is — noble girl ! Swel. What, you here ? Mrs S. And in my daughter's room ! Steel, (to Wise) Perhaps, sir, it's your intention to create a scandal ! Enter Jack, c. from l. Sivel. (seeing him) What, more of them ! What do you want, sir! Jack. Beg pardon, sir. Mr. Green put his money on the wrong horse — that 'ere prophet turned out a loss, and Hermit, who ought to have been attending to his chopling led the van — so Mr. Green is ruined ; all he possesses now is a position as "General Manager" of a railroad that is worthless, and I thought perhaps a snug corner might be found for me in the kitchen. Swel. Mr. Green ruined ! This is no time for hesitation, besides 1 don't half like the expression in the eye of that minstrel, (in great rage) Sir, I shall defeat your abominable scheme. Confound it. sir, you shall marry her ! Cath. These are tidings to wash the eyes of a monarch ! Mrs S. (to Swelson) But, my dear — Swel. Enough, Mr. Wise shall marry her— I'll make him. (to Simon) As for you, pack up your traps at once! Mrs S. (to Babette) You can do the same. Eab. (whispering) Perhaps you'll be kind enough to pay my iittle amount over, or I shall hand the acknowledgment to master. Mrs S. (aside) Impossible! Gracious, I never thought of that! (Mrs. S. signals her to keep quiet Swel. (to Simon) Here are your wages, sir! (gives money Sim. (taking money ) Well, sir, you've been a good master, and the secret about the perfume girl shall die with me! Swel. What the devil does he mean? (aside) I wish he wouldn't speak so loud ! Sim. And I hope you won't accuse me if any letter on the sub- ject should ever be sent to your wife. Swel. If my wife, finds this out I shall never smile on this side of the tomb ! Mrs S. (embarrased) What a position to be in. Cath. Mamma, I must beg their forgiveness. Swel. and Mrs S. (aside) Saved ! Swel. (eagerly) Well, if they will promise not to do so again ! Mrs S. (eagerly) They never will ! (Swelson looks at Mrs. S. suspiciously Sim. and Bab. Never — this has been a lesson to us! Swel. Then you are forgiven. (Babette goes to door c. and mo- tions for the servants who ran off to return — they all enter and take their positions for the end) And I shall say to you — (to audience) — take my word, and after no great experience, there's no shot like a hot one from the kitchen range when fired at the target of our weaknesses, but may I venture to hope that whatever their short- comings may have been your approval may be the signal for their re-appearance in the "GENERAL MANAGER." CURTAIN, y i5_niBs> Plays — G nntinuBii. ^ NO. M F FARCES & COMEDIETTAS. 129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 132 Actor and Servant 1 1 12 A Capita .Mutch 8 2 166 A Texan Mother-in-Law 4 6 30 A Day Well Spent 7 5 169 A Regular Fix 2 4 so Alarmingly Suspicious 4 8 78 An Awful Criminal 3 3 ()■"> An Unwelcome Return 8 1 31 A Pet of the Public 4 2 21 A Romantic Attachment 3 3 123 A Thrilling Item 8 1 20 A Ticket of Leave 3 2 175 Betsey Baker '..... 2 2 S Better Half 5 2 86 Black vs. White 4 2 2- Captain Smith .. 8 3 8.4 Cheek Will Win 3 lipids Capers 4 4 49 Der Two Surprises 1 1 72 Deuce is in Him .i 1 19 Did Dream it 4 3 12 Domes ric Felicity 1 1 188 DMtch Prize Fighter 3 22i' D ii tchy vs. Nigger 3 14a Eh? W at Did You Say 3 1 218 Everybody Astonished 4 224 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 233 Freezing a Moiher-in-Law... 2 1 154 Fun in a Post Office 4 2 184 Family Discipline.: 1 274 Family Jars 5 2 2n;> Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 13 Give Me Mv Wife 3 8 66 Hans, the Dutch J. P 3 1 271 Hans Drummers Cafe 5 116 Has 4 2 120 H. M. S. Plum I 1 103 How Sister Paxey got her Child Baptized 2 1 50 How She has Own Way 1 8 14H How He Popped the Quest'n. 1 1 74 How to Tame M-in- Law 4 2 35 How Stout Your Getting 5 2 17 In the Wrong Box 3 95 In the Wrong Clothes 5 3 11 John Smith 5 3 !•!» Jumbo Jum 4 3 82 Killing Time 1 1 182 Kittie's Wedding Cake I 8 127 Lick Skillet Wedding 2 2 228 Lauderbach's Little Surprise 3 106 Lodgings for Two '■> 139 .Matrimonial Bliss 1 1 231 Match for a other-Miu-Law.. 2 2 23") More Blunders than one 4 8 69 .Mother's Fool ti 1 158 Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 1 23 My Heart's in Highlands I 8 208 My Precious Betsey 4 4 212 Mv Turn Next 4 3 32 M. Wife's Relations 4 4 NO, k 186 .My Day and Novv-a-Days 1 278 .My Neighbor's Wife 3 3 44 Obedience 1 2 244 Old Clothes 3 33 <)u the Sly _ 3 2 246 Othello 4 1 57 Paddy Miles' Boy 5 2 217 Paten' Washing Machine 4 1 165 Persecuted Dutchman 6 3 195 Poor Pilicody 2 3 258 Prof. Bones'Latest Invention 5 159 Quiet Family 4 4 171 Rough Diamond 4 3 180 Ripples o 267 Kooni 44 2 48 Schrmps ill 138 Sewing Circle of Period 5 115 S. II. A. M. Pinafore 3 3 55 Somebody's Nobody 8 2 24 1 Sports on a Lark 8 232 Stage Struck Yankee 4 2 238 Strawberry Shortcake 2 270 Slick and Skinner 5 1 Slasher and Crasher 5 2 137 Taking the Census 1 1 4n Tint Mysterious B'dle 2 2 245 Ticket Taker 3 88 The Bewitched Closet 5 2 131 The Cigarette 4 2 101 The Coming i\ an 3 1 167 Turn Him Out _ 3 2 08 The Sham Professor 4 54 TheTwoT.J's 4 2 253 The Best Cure 4 1 28 Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 2 142 Tit for Tat 2 1 276 The Printer and His Devils.. 3 1 263 Trials of a Country Editor.... 6 2 7 The Wonderful Telephone.... 3 1 269 Unjust Justice 6 2 213 Vermont Wool Dealer 5 8 151 Wanted a Husband 2 1 56 Wooing Under Difficulties 5 3 70 Which will he Marry 2 8 135 Widower's Trials 4 5 147 Waking Him Up 1 2 155 Why they Joined the Re- beccas 4 111 Yankee Duelist 3 1 157 Yankee Peddler 7 3 ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 204 Academy of Stars 6 15 An Unhappy Pair 1 1 172 Black Shoemaker 4 2 98 Black Statue 4 'J. 222 Colored Senators 8 p 211 Chops :: 145 Cuff's Luck 2 i 190 Crimps Trip 5 q 249 Double Election \ 27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 p 230 Hamlet the Dainty (i i 158 Haunted House 2 p rE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS Fa niBS Plays LO 016 >V JLLL±JJLLLKU. NO. "• t- ETHIOPIAN FARCES-CONT'UED. 24 236 247 77 88 256 128 259 90 61 234 150 11)9 134 177 96 107 133 179 94 25 92 241 ID 64 252 122 Handy Andy 2 Hypochondriac The - " Incompatibility of Temper... 1 2 Joe's Vis t 2 1 Mischievous Nigger 4 2 Midnight Colic 2 1 Musical Darkey 2 Nobody's Moke 5 No Cure No Pay 3 Not as Deaf as He Seems 3 Old Dad's Cabin 2 OldPompey 1 Other People's Children 3 Pomp's Pranks Quarrelsome Servants.. Rooms to Let School Seeing Bosting Sham Doctor 16,000 Years Ago Sport with a Sportsman Stage Struck Darkey... Struck by Lightning 2 Stocks Up, Stocks Down 2 That Boy Sam 3 That Awful Carpet Bag 3 The Select School 5 NO. M. K. lis The Popcorn Man 3 ! 6 The Studio 3 108 Those Awful Hoys 5 o 4 Twain's Dodging 3 1 197 Tricks 5 2 198 Uncle Jeff 5 2 170 U.S. Mail „ 2 2 216 Vice Versa :'. 1 206 Villkens and Dinah 4 1 210 Virginia Mummy ti 1 203 Who Stole the Chickens 1 1 205 William Tell 4 156 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 GUIDE BOOKS. 17 Hints on Elocution 130 Hints to Amateurs CANTATA. 215 On to Victory 4 Fi TABLEAUX. 250 Festival of Days PANTOMIME. 260 Cousin John's Album MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS! PREPARED WOOL. PREPARED WOOL IS AN ARTICLE THAT E VEP Y ONE, WITHOUT ANY EXPERIENCE, CAN MAKE INTO WIGS ! BEARDS! MUSTACHES ! ETC.. ETC. AT VERY LITTLE COST AND WILL BE SURE TO GIVE SATISFACTION. -<** PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE. &+>- AMES' PUBLISHING CO., LOCK DON 152. CLYDE, OHIO 3i rfi