DDnMDTMCCC Infilling all orders is always a feature of our busi- ly Mil III I I llr^O n ess. Catalogues sent free. Any Play, Dialogue Book, l I ■ W ■■■ l ■ iiuwv Speaker, Guide Book, Wigs and Beards— in fact any- thing you want will sent by AMES' PUBLISHING CO., Clyde, Ohio- 5T ^ AMES 1 SERIES OF STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, No. 393. ^Andy Fpeekles.4^ iFARCE. WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE 8 DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND THE WHOLE OF STAGE BUSINESS; CAREFULLY MARKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED ACTING COPY. s^r^ -7 PRICE 15 CENTS. CLYDE, OHIO : AMES' PUBLISHING CO, No goods sent C. 61 D. Money MUST accompany all orders. B* ALPHABETICAL LIST OP ^ .H-mes' Edition of Plays. 4 k-v92^ *■ FIFTEEN GENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE HARKED. 294 2 164 39 43 100 125 350 89 113 226 14 321 272 160 268 310 161 60 342 343 152 279 173 143 162 255 300 357 311 283 117 52 76 HI 26 191 362 337 194 S 9 330 261 335 349 355 46 227 251 163 91 36 34 9i. DRAMAS. Arthur Eustace, 25c 10 4 A Desperate Game 3 2 After Ten Years 7 5 A Life's Revenge 7 5 Arrahdo Baugh 7 5 Aurora Floyd : 7 2 Auld Robin Gray 25c 13 8 By Force of Love 8 3 Beauty of Lyons 11 2 Bill Detrick 7 3 Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 4 Brigands of Calabria 6 1 Broken Links 8 4 Beyond Pardon 7 5 Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 3 Clearing the Mists 5 3 Claim Ninety-Six (96) 25c_.... 8 5 Dora 5 2 Driven to the Wall 10 3 Defending the Flag U 3 Daisy Garland'.^ Fortune 5 5 Driven from Home 7 4 Dutch Jake 4 3 EastLynne 8 7 Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 Fielding Manor 9 6 Gertie's Vindication 3 3 Grandmother Hildebrand's London Assurance 9 3 Legacy, 25c 5 i Gyp, The Heiress, 25c 5 4 Haunted by a Shadow 8 2 Hal Hazard, 25c 10 3 Henry Granden 11 8 How He Did It 3 2 Hidden Treasures 4 2 Hunter of the Alps 9 4 Hidden Hand 15 7 Josh Winchester 5 3 Kathleen Marourneen 12 4 Lights and Shadows ot the Great Rebellion, 25c 10 5 Lady of Lyons 12 5 Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 Little Goldie, 25c 11 3 Lost in London 6 3 Miller's Daughter, 25c 7 6 Mrs. Willis' Wd! J MyPard , 6 5 Man and Wit 12 6 Maius Peril 5 7 Midnight Mistake 6 3 Millie, the Quadroon 5 2 Miriam's Crime 5 6 Michael Erie 8 2 Miller of Derwent Water 5 3 Mistletoe Bough 7 2 Mountebanks (The) 6 3 New York Book Agent 7 2 NO. M. P. C47 Our Country Aunt 4 223 Old Honesty 81 Old Phil's Birthday 333 Our Kittie 85 Outcast's Wife 83 Out on the World 331 Old Wayside Inn, The 1% Oath Bound G 2 29 Painter of Ghent : 10 3 **1 Pel eg and Peter. 25c 4 2 18 Pojioher's Doom 8 3 280 Pheelim O'Ronkes' Curse. 5 Phyllis, the Beggar Girl 6 3 110 Reverses 12 6 45 Rock Allen 383 Stub 8 3 79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c 14 3 275 Simple Silas 266 Sweetbrier 11 5 mire's DaughW 5 3 351 The Winning Hand 144 Thekla 318 The Adventuress 8 6 284 The Commercial Drummer. 212 The Dutch Recruit 2 r .o 14 3 07 The False Friend 97 The Fatal Blow 7 1 119 The Forty-Niners 10 4 304 The Gene ral M an ager 93 The Gentleman in Black 9 4 314 The Haunted Mill 112 The New Magdalen 322 The Rbw Recruit 6 71 The Reward of Crime 5 3 306 The Three Hats 105 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 201 Ticket, of Leave Man 293 Tom Blossom 193 Toodles 7 2 277 The Musical Captain 15 2 om's Cabin 2:0 Will Mab 121 Will -o'-the- Wisp 41 Won at Last 192 Zion ..... TEMP2KA&CE PLAYS. 73 At Last 7 1 75 Adrift 5 4 187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 254 Dot; the Miner's Daughter 202 Drunkard [The] runkard's Warning 189 Drunkard's Doom 181 Fifteen Years of a Drui ard's Life 183 Fruits of the Wine «'• 104 Lost sb PS 2676 • R4 fl8 Copy 1 f Freckles, the Mischievous Boy. FARCE COMEDY IN ONE ACT. — BY — Bfirt C. Rawlnv, Author of "An Aristocratic Gent,'" "Trixie," "Badly Mixed" "Our Summer Hoarders," " Deacon Jones' Wife's Ghost," "Stupid Cupid," etc., etc. TO WHICH IS ADDKD A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. Entered according to act of Conarsa in the year 1898 by AMES' PUBLISHING CO., in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. AMES' PUBLISHING CO. CLYDE, OHIO: TMJS MISCHIEVOUS BOY. ;R4 ' C4£!Z T OjP characters, Ferdinand Freckles, J. P Member of the Frcckleville Cornet Band Andy Freckles, His beloved son, full of mischief Rev. Shadrach Smiley, Keeps an eye on Lucinda Willie B. Allbright, A dude Amanda Freckles, Tired ofihcd infernal looiin Adelaide Freckles, Mr. Freckles' daughter Lucinda Mason, ...... .Has a kind regard for Shadrach 2580 g. TIME OF PLAYING— 30 minutes. COSTUMES.— Modern. PROPERTIES. Chairs, sofa, table, music rack, sheet music, musical in- strument, paper and pencil for Andy, staffed mouse. STAGE DIRECTIONS. r., means Right; l, Left; R. H., Right Kami; l. ii. , Left Hand; c, Centre; s. e., (2d e.) Second Entrance; u. e. Upper Entrance; M. D., Middle Door; F. ; the Flat; d. f., Door in Flat; R. c, Right of Centre; l. c, Left of Centre. R. R. C. C. L. C. L. ^^Reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing audience. Andy Freckles, tha Mischievous Boy. SCENE — A richly furnished room in the residence oj Ferdinand Freckles — sofa upL. c, tables, c, chairs it. and l., c. E., curtained, r. and l. entrance — as cur- tain rises, Ferdinand is seated c, playing on a horn, music rack wrfh sheet music directly in front of him. Ferdinand, (blows in hiyhkey) Sufferin' Jehosapliat, but that goes clear out of my jurisdiction. The "Devils Galop" indeed, I declare, he must have been wind broken. A nice appropriate piece to render at a donation party, and only one night to learn the blam d thing in. Weil, if first you don't succeed, try again, so here goes. (plays discordantly Enter, Andy, r. e., throws cap on sofa. Andy. Say pa, ma says if you'll stop that infernal tootin' till she gets gone to the quiltin' bee, she'll buy you a new tin cuspidor for Christmas. Ferd. Oh she did, eh! Such geneosity is entirely uncalled for,. my boy. You can see that her musical edu- cation has been neglecteJ. I have heard your mother hum for hours over the dish pan; perhaps she would style that music, but I declare it was not tit for cannibals to listen too. You may inform my beloved helpmate that I am capable of minding my own affairs. Andy. I did pa, and she told me that you minded every- boly elses, too. (winks at audience Ferd. (jumps up) She did, eh! AVonclerful foresight I declare. My son, a mother who desires to instruct a son 4 ANDY FRECKLES, in the pathway that leads to true nobility, should never class the father with such notorious scoundrels. Minding other folkses business, indeed, and now she's goin' to that infernal quiltin' bee to gossip and talk about the neigh- bors. I tell you, my noble boy, people who live in glass houses, should not throw stones. Andy. But then ma says you ain't allers to blame. She says you were allers, more or less, of a nervous dispo- sition. Ferd. Nervousness, eh? Your mother is indeed very much acquainted with my anatomical construction. ( blows. a few discordant blasfs on instrument, stops abruptly) Nervous, eh! It's a pity your mother wasn't born tougue tied, hair lipped or some other infernal thing. Andy, (laughs) Now pa, that's the very thing she said about you this very morning, (aside) My, what a whopper ! Ferd. (rises qu icldy ) What ! The woman I call wife ; the woman I have professed to love, to utter such insane insinuations. My son, it's unbearable, (walks around room rapidly, carrying horn) My noble boy, let not her idle talk turn you from the path of rectitude. I confess it is enough to turn your head. Oh! (blows shrill blast en horn, walks about wildly Enter, Amanda Freckles, l. e., in street attire, Amanda, (stops c. ) Well, I declare, Ferdinand, is that piece you are playing, a wedding march or a descrip- tive fantasia. It is beautiful beyond description, a few plaintive strains preceded by the shrill toots of a locomo- tive and the creaking of a cellar door. Do you call that music Ferd. (stops suddenly) Indeed! Madam, it is plain to be seen that the roar of artillery and the music rendered by a brass band are one and the same to you. Amanda. You are mistaken, Mr. Freckles, I am an excellent judge of good music, but the blood curdling blasts, which issue from that brass instrument, would drive a Zulu frantic, and I have begun to think, Ferdnand, candidly speaking, that the Freckleville Band has one too many members. Ferd. (angrily) And "that one too many," I suppose, is myself. Thoughtless woman. Are you not aware that THE MISCHIE VO US BOY. 5 lam the most influential member of that organization; that without me it would be a complete failure — in fact, could not exist. My belbve 1 helpmate, my nervous dis- position wil] never lead me to accede to your wishes in this case. (Ferdinand sits at music rack, looks over music Amanda. Very well. Blow to your heart's content, but when it comes election day and you find you have been beaten in the race for Justice of the Peace, you may be sure that the male members of the community have had their revenge. (Ferdinand turns music furiously Andy, (coming down) Say, ma, how is the Donation progressin' ? Sam Bloodgood and I are planum' for a big time. Ferd. I hope the durn thing will be a grand fizzle. Amanda. I'm afraid your hopes will be blasted. Every thing is progressing finely, my son, and we expect a select company, as it will be an invited one. Ferd. Humph! Who's doing the inviting? Amanda. The honor was conferred upon me, Mr. Freckles, and by the way, I do not know whether it is best to invite Lucinda Mason or not. Ferd. (jumps up) Well. I guess yes. Why do you hesitate ? Amanda. Well — well you see, Ferdinand, I thought as how Lucinda used to be your old sweet heart, and I did not know — Ferd. Oh, is that so! Now look here, madam, if Lucinda stays at home, I stay at home. I've alius had a tender feeling in my heart toward her, and I'm not going to see her slighted on this occasion . Andy. Pa, did you used to spoon Lucinda? Ferd. Well, I should snicker, and for brain and com- mon sense, Lucinda has a larger stock than some other folks that I know. Amanda. That's straight to the point, Mr. Freckles. Everybody knows Lucinda Mason, and I shall see that she is made the subject of comment at the quiltin' bee this afternoon, so there now! (exit, u. e. Ferd. Now you see, my son, your mother does not practice her preaching, she's off to that infernal quilting bee, simply to drag the character of a superior being into the dust, and yet that organization is run in connection with the church, (jumps up) I say, darn the quilting 6* ANDY FRECKLES, bee, and (Shadrach Smiley appears at c. D. ) darn the church that tolerates such an institution. Enter, Shadrach Smiley, c. e. Shadrach. (holding up hands) Why the idea, Mr. Freckles, I am surprised, indeed I am ! (Ferdnand drops in chair, fingers over music Andy, (aside, R.) Now for a thunder storm. Shad. It pains me to hear the church condemned by one who's influence for the right has been felt throughout the entire community. I hope you have not back slidden, Mr, Freckles. Andy. Now what does back slidden mean, Mr. Smiley? Shad, (brings chair down to c. beside Andy) Only too- glad to explain, my boy. You see, we are not led to be- lieve that "Once in grace, always in grace." When a man confesses his sins and lays them aside, with the resolve to live a christian life, he is considered, in grace. (Ferdinand steals to c. e., shakes fist, exit, c. e. ) Frequently the world and it's allurements influence the man and he falls again into his sinful ways, and we class him a back slider. Andy. Do you think pa has slid, Mr. Smiley ? Shad, (looks around, misses Ferdinand) The situa- tion presents that aspect, my boy. Evil spirits are cer- tainly exeitiug a deadly influence over him. Andy. The only spirits, I know of about this house are confined in a barrel of cider down cellar, and pa is pretty intimate with them, (aside) Another whopper. Shad, The idea! I never knew that your father in- dulged in intoxicating drinks. Oh! this is horrible! Andy. Oh! y?s, pa alius liked cider, and Deacon Lotus swears he can drink twice as many glasses as pa, an' I see 'em drink five glasses apiece the other day. Pa was sick all next day. and Deacon Lotus, you know when he was sick with lumbago for 'bout a week, 'twas nothin' only the cider. Pa tells ma that he takes it for indigestion, but he can't pull the wool over my eyes. Shad, (rising, aside) Is it possible that the two most influential members of my church are wine bibers. (aloud ) My boy, it pains me to hear this dreadful news. I will see your father this very day, and beg of him to desist from this terrible habit. Good day, my boy. (exit, c. e. Andy, (laughs) I'd give a nickle to see pa when he THE MISCHIE 1 r US BOY. 7 speaks to him about the cider. We ain't had a barrel of cider in the cellar since I can remember. As to-day is April fool's div, I've made up my mind to give pa another grand surprise. I alias thought pa cared more for Lucinda Mason than he did for ma, and so I've made up my mind to cure him of this foolish infatuation and have a little fun in the bargain, (takes paper and pencil from pocket) I'm just goin' to write Lucinda a nice little note and sign pa's name to it, so here goes, (writes and reads ) "Dear Lucinda, as I write this note, my mind is wandering back to the time when you w T as my sweetheart. Darling, let us leave this place and flee to other shores, where we may live in happiness. Answer soon. Your loving Ferdi- nand Freckles. P. 8. — Meet me to-night at old place." There, if that won't work mischief, I'm a spring chicken. And now I'll mail it and await results. (exi f , it. E. Enter, Ferdinand, followed by Shaduach, c. e. Shad. Yes, Mr. Freckles, 1 have noticed that your pew in church has been vacant for the past two or three Sabbaths at both services. Ferd. (grumpily) Well, does that infer that I am such a bad man? Shad. I acknowledge that there are other tendencies, which induce men to rail agains L the church, for instance, when under the influence of some intoxicant — perhaps cider, (aside) A broad hint indeed. Ferd. Y r ou don't mean to say that I indulge in that sour slop. SJiad. Mr. Freckles, I mean no offense, but I feel that I must speak. To-day I have been informed that a frequent glass of the intoxicant cider, passed your lips. Perhaps Deacon Lotus can also enlighten you on this subject. Ferd. {angry ) Undoubtedly. So you and Deacon Lotus have taken the personal pains to inquire into this matter. Let me inform you and your beloved Deacon Lotus, that the whole story is false. Shad. But Deacon Lotus perhaps is better informed — Fad. {};cJls) Xo doubt. The baldheaded old cur- mudgeon, I thought he was my friend, but now I see my mistake. (walks stage Shad. But my dear Mr. Freckle, he is your friend— 8 ANDY FRECKLES, Ferd. Do you think I am blind. Never let him cross my threshold. Shad. Do not work yourself into a passion, Mr. Freckles. Ferd. I don't mean to, sir! Hard cider soaker, eh! This is too much! I'll killthe first man who dares to in- sinuate it. Shad. You are excited, Mr. Freckles. Ferd. Excited, eh! Who's business is it? Cider sip- per! I'll not be called ihat in my own house, and I'll never turn a man out, so I'll go myself. (going Shad, (stops him) No, no! Mr. Freckle;-, I'll retire myself. Calm yourself, I will earnestly pray for you. (exit, c. E. Ferd. Cornstalks and bean poles, was ever man so tormented? I believe I am possessed of the devil. Every thing has gone wrong this day. But that cider business completely overwhelms me. (Willi •: Allbight appears at c. E., Ferdnand jumps up ) Oh! I'm desperate! I'll kill the first man I come across. (goes toward c. e. Enter, Willie Allbright, c. e., on a run. Willie. That's not — aw — right, doncher — aw — know? A w — aw — I'm — not — dangerous — doncher know. Ferd. (comes to c.) Say, young fellow, you had better let some doctor look in your mouth. I think you have iD growing teeth. Willie. No — no — aw — all right doncher know v only — aw — a vewy — aw — peculiar accent to my speech, doncher know? Tisn't — aw — natural doncher know, just — aw — put on. Ferd. Well, if you have any respect for humanity, take it off. Well, how did you happen to fly in here? Willie. You — aw — are the father of the — aw — beautiful Adelaide, I believe ? Ferd. Supposed to be, yes. Oh! yes, I see now, per- pectly plain. You are one of these French Counts a searchin' for an heiress. Well, you've lit in the wrong brush heap. She'll only inherit fifty cents, so you might as well flit to some other nest. Willie, (laughs) Well — aw — aw — I declare — you — aw — make me laugh. Ferd, Singular, I can't see anything to laugh at. THE MISCHIE TO US BOY. 9 Adelaide appears at door, e., she rushes into Willie's arms. Willie. Well, Addie, I have found you at last. Ferd. (backs to l. ) Jupiter and Mars! Love at first sight. Say young fellow, be" careful how you handle that gal. (they converse in undertone) Break away there, I say! It is evident that he is dead gone, (goes over, pulls him away) You don't need ter stand quite so close, sir! unless you are rear sighted. Adelaide. Father, what do you mean by such rude treatment? Ferd. The same as any father would, who found a stranger a huggin' the life out of his daughter, and I've a mind to show him the door. Adelaide, (stands in Jvont of Willie) Oh! no you won't papa, I'll shield him. Ferd. Well I declare Adelaide, you make me sick. Adelaide. Oh! do I? I'm sorry, but I'll not see my company treated in so rude a manner. Come Willie, we'll go into the parlor. {exit, Adelaide and Willie, l. e. Ferd. Why the idea, taking that tongue-tied freak right into the parlor. I'll keep my eye on him. (sits c. Enter, Amanda, c. e. Amanda. Well, my dear Mr. Freckles, Lucinda Mason has been weighed in the balance and found wanting. . Ferd. Indeed? When does the inquisition convene again? Perhaps I may be able to scrape up another victim. (picJxS up newsjjctj e ■ ) Well, one of your rela- tives is in the parlor with Adelaide. Amanda. Oh! then he has arrived, has he? Good, I have longed to sse him. Ferd. You expected him then. Who in tophet is he? Amanda. Why, Adelaide's beau, of course. Ferd. (jumps) What! I'll beau him. No such a freak can beau my daughter. (starts toicard l., Amanda stops him. Amanda. No! no, Ferdnand, do not interrupt them. Think how long it's been since they saw each other. Ferd. That don't cut any ice. That feller is no good on earth. (Adelaide screams off L.) There! There, do you hear that? Perhaps he's murderin' her. (tries to go l.. she holds him back 10 ANDY FRECKLES, Enter, Willie, l. e., running). Willie. Aw — a glass of — aw water quick, doncher know. Ferd. A glass of nothin' you murderin' sn ak. (exit, Amanda, l. e. 1 1 r illie. Aw— but she is — Ferd, Yes, I expect you've killed her. I've seen such fellers as you before. There is the door; now git! Willie. Aw — but — Fcrd. No buts about it. Git! (exit, Willie, g. e.) There, we're rid of him. I wonder what the next will be? Enter, Amanda and Adelaide, l. e. Amanda. She had fainted, that's all. Adelaide. Has it gone, father? Ferd. Yes, I just kicked it out of doors. Adelaide. The horrid creature, it frightened me out of my wits. Ferd. Oh! well, don't worry now, it's gone. Adelaide. Yes, but it may come again. Haven't you a trap, perhaps we could catch it. I shall not feel safe a moment until it is captured. Ferd. What kind of a trap? Adelaide. Why a mouse trap, of course. The horrid little creature, I can see it now, as it ran across the floor. A nasty little mouse. Ferd. Mouse! (aside) It begins to dawn upon me, that I've made a fool of myself. Til fix this up as quick as possible. (starts toward c. E. Amanda. Where are you going, husband ? Ferd. (ate. E.) Going to find Willie, I kicked him out! (exit, c. e. Adelaide, (laughs) Poor Willie. How could father he so cruel? Amanda. He was rather hasty my child, but he will make it all right. Come now, we will go and pick some geraniums to send to poor Mrs. Ross. Adelaide. Very well, but if poor Willie is hurt, papa will have to suffer the consequences. (exeunt, R. E. Enter, Andy, c. e. Andy. My April fool joke is progressing finely, sooner than I expected, for Lucinda and the parson are coming toward the house on a keen jump. I'll drop on the lounge THE MISCHIEVOUS BOY. It and pretend I am asleep, and watch proceedings. (lays on lounge Enter, Lucinda and Shadrach, c. e. Shad. Yes, my dear Miss Mason, I consider it an out- rageous insult. I think the man must be taking leave of his senses. Lucinda. Oh! Shadrach, it is unbearable. (sobs Shad. Ah! Lucinda — Miss Mason — you know not how I have longed to hear you utter that name. Lucinda. Oh! — Mr. — Shadrach — this is so sudden — I — I— Shad. Doubt not my sincerity, Lucinda. I have kept my secret long and faithfully. Oh! Lucinda, do you not — have you not seen that I cared for you? Lucinda. Oh! Shadrach, this is indeed so sudden, I hardly know what to say. Shad. Say that you will name the happy day, that you will become the future Mrs. Shadrach Smiley. Say this and make me the happiest of mortal men. Lucinda. Well, Shadrach — yes, if your happiness de- pends upon it. Shad. God bless you ; but my dear, we forgot our mission, (looks!,.) Ah! here comes Mrs. Freckles. Enter, Amanda, l. e. Amanda. How-de-do, Mr. Smiley! Shad, (botes) Is Mr. Freckles at horned Amanda. I guess so. Hell be in, in a minute. Shad, (uneasy) Ahem! Mrs. Freckles, haven't— haven't you noticed that your husband has been rather wild and reckless, so to speak, of late? Amanda. Sir! Is this the object of your visit. Eerd. (outside) Hang yer hat on the peg. You'll find Addie some where about the establishment. Enter, Ferdinand, c. e. ' I found him, Handy, if I did have to walk two miles. Hello! got company, (offers hand to Lucinda, tcho re- fuses it) Why, how-de-do, Lucinda, I haven't seen you in a dog's age. What, refuse to shake hands with your old beau. Well I declare, Mandy, she ain't very tickled to see me. Well, why don't you all take chairs. 12 ANDY FRECKLES, Shad. We Lave not long to stay, Mr. Freckles. The business which we are about to transact, concerns the welfare and goo:l name of a lady. Ferd. That's a good cause, 1 declare, and if I can be of any service, I'm willing. Shad. I refer to Miss Lucincla Mason, soon to be Mrs. Shadrach Smiley. Ferd. Jehosaphat! you and Lucinda going to couple up. Good enough, Lucinda. I did awfully hate to see you live and die an old maid, and Shadrach, yon both have my best wishes, and I shall expect an invite to die wedding. Lucinda. Not until this disgraceful affair has been settled. I have been greviously insulted, sir! and — Fe; d. By whom? Show him to me and I'll thrash him. Lucinda. Ah! Ferdinand Freckles, don't play the in- nocent. It is by you that I have been insulted, and I de- mand a satisfactory explanation. Amanda. Ferdinand, what is the meaning of this? Ferd. Connundrum, Amanda, I'm all in the dark. Lucinda. Here Shadrach, read this communication, perhaps it will brighten his memory. Shad, (fakes paper, reads note writienby Andy) You underst nd the object of this visit now, I believe, Mr. Freckles. Amanda. Ferdinand Freckles, you are in big business, I. declare, I wouldn't mind if she'd horse whip you. Ferd. I'll take my oath that I never saw that letter. There's some big mistake, I'll bet. Let me see it. (takes paper, looks edit, looks up, laughs) Why, that's Andy's writing, or I am a goose. Shad. Don't implicate the boy, Mr. Freckles, unless he is guilty. Amanda. Here is Andy, ask him. (goes to lounge, rouses Mm up and brings him to c. Ferd. Kemember George Washington, my boy, when you answer the question I am about to ask you. Did you write and send that letter to Miss Lucincla Mason? Andy, (imitating Lucinda) Oh! this is so sudden- yes, I did it with my little hatchet, Ferd. Do you know what the penalty for such an act is, sir! A good sound thrashing. Shad. Did you not know, my boy, that it was wicked to bring such disagreeable acts upon the shoulders of your THE M ISC HIE VO US BO K IS parents? Andy. Well, I had a right to, to-day. Enier, Adelaide and Willie, c. e. Adelaide, (r. c.) Oh! mother, this is April Fool's day, and I haven't bien fooled once to-day. Andy Oh! you're off. How about the mouse. I carry him around in my pocket", just to frighten such timid girls as you. (shows s luffed mouse with thread attached Shad. I see through the whole arrangement, Mr. Freckles. It's all a joke, gotten up by Andy, at our ex- pense. Perhaps you think we placed the blame to heavily upon your shoulders, but as it is, it is simply a huge joke. Lucinda. Yes, Andy, you have fooled us and I think we appreciate it. Adelaide. What, more jokes? Oh! you wicked boy. Ferd. Yes, my daughter, and a real smart one, too. I won't relate it now, for it will prove more interesting some other time. We've all been big fools to-day, and 1 think I have been about the biggest one. Now a little introduc- tion is in order, I guess, (introduces Willie to Shade ach aud Lucinda) Willie is all right too, Shadrach, although lie's been badly misused. Shad. Well friends, the day is drawing to a clcse, and now that every thing has ended harmoniously, we'll take leave, hoping to meet again, under more favorable circum- stances. Ferd. Very well, but I forgot something. Willie in- forms me that he can 'speak in seventeen different lan- guages, and knows Websters unabridged by heart, and he's promised to entertain us for a half hour, with a sort of Choctaw medley at the Donation party, immediately after which the Freckleville Cornet band will discourse music never heard before outside of Freckleville, and this is no April Fool joke either. (all laiujh CURTAIL. THE END. FUN! FUN!! FUN!!! THE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET— JUST PUBLISHED, ENTITLED *** GAPTURED; & OR, The Old Maid's Triumph, Four Acts— Four Male, Five Female Characters. Scenery Easily Managed. Costumes Modern. Characters all Good- Telling Situations. Susan Tabitha (the old Maid) takes the Audience by Storm, as she tries to marry every man she meets; if he don't propose she does; final success of Susan. If you want a play that is full of fun, and sure to please you, order a copy of CAPTURED. PBICE 15 CENTS. Act I. — Home- of the Windchester's — Frank Westfield — Arrival of the '-Old Maid" ; "I'm tickled een-a-most to death to see you !" ''Mother Goose's Melodies"— Susan's experience in the stage coach. "Only twenty-four, brother." — Christopher Columbus! where am I going?"— "I see you, Frankie." — Susan's opinion of Jane.— Polly- Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield — his aston- ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms.— Tableau. Act II. — Susan's explanation. — "Slang Debolishers Union" — "Yon'd better begin at home!"— A widower — "Good land! if I could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn't feel fit to soar to the land of milk and honey 1"— Sam Sly, Polly's lover, who is a widower.— "If he does not propose, 7 will!" — Susan and Sam Sly. — Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. Her anger, and fall.— Susan and Sly loose their wigs. Act III.— Joshua Pratt.— Susan's fear of men.— "Help! help!" Discovers Joshua — Kidiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. "There's nothing half so sweetin life, as love's young dream. "-Rats. "Help! thieves!"— "It might run up my leg!" — The rescue- Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and get married. — The departure. Act IV. — Home of Susan Tabitha — Sallie — Discovery of Joshua's poverty—Susan's anger and disappointment— "Can we get up ?"-Susan cuffs Joshua's ears— Dinner— "Can we eat dinner?" — Susan relates her experience to Sallie— Telegram— Arrival and cool reception of Charles Westfield and wife— Joshua sleeps— Susan knocks over his chair, pulls his hair— A bank check— Susan's promise.— Happy ending. JUST OUT— A New Temperance Play ! ■ » ■ Hot; the IVIiner's UaughtBr, or, DnE Glass nf Wins. IN FOUR ACTS. DRAMATIS PEBSONjE. David Mason A farmer. Herbert Mason David's son— just from college. Royal Meadows Foster-son of Mrs. Clifton. Arthur Floyd A villain. George Clifton A returned Californian. Parson Swift An astonished clergyman. Bill Torry A boatman — Floyd's confedeiate. Brewster Police officer. Ebony A colored individual. Mrs. Mason David's wife — a good adviser.- Dolores ? The miner's daughter. Mrs. Clifton George Clifton's deserted wife. Winxifred Clifton Mrs. Clifton's daughter. Hapzibah A lady of color. Festival nf Days. A NEW AND ORIGINAL SERIES OF TABLEAUX. It is especially designed for Amateur Companies, as it re- quires only a platform, no seenery being necessary for its production. Mirth, and Sadness are well combined. Costumes Modern. Time one hour. The following are the days represented. Price 15 Cents— Order a Copy. characters. Reader. New Year Chorus of girls in white. Washington's Birthday George Washington. Valentine's Day Maiden and lover. St. Patrick's Day Chorus of boys. Washing Day Girls at tubs. House-Cleaning Day Man and woman. April Fool's Day Old maid, and little boy. Ash Wednesday Monk. Good Friday Women at cross. Easter Chorus of girls in white. May Day May queen, chorus of children. Memorial Day Two soldiers. July Fourth Uncle Sam, boys. Emancipation Day Darkey. Hallowe'en Group of girls. Thanksgiving Day Man, little girl. Christmas Group of children. =«HAZEL ADAMS. 1 A Drama in 3 acls by Clifton B. Jordan, for 6 male and 3 female characters. Costumes modern. Time of playing 1 hour and 45 minutes. -^Pi SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. f=^r~ ACT I. — Mr. Adam's southern home — Mr. Adams lays down the law to Hazel — The quarrel — Mrs. Adams and Hazel — Chloe objects to being called a little coon — Basil Northcote and Hazel — The stolen kiss — Joe appears — The threat — "Would you murder me?" — Hazel in trouble — Joe's soliloquy — Trouble between Joe and Northcote — Moze and Joe— '"Jesus loves me dis I know. He will wash me white as snow," Joe doubts it — Moze and Joe arrange to whip Northcote — John Esterbrook alias George Beatty, the detective, and Mr. Adams, George's opinion of Northcote — Hazel interrupts the conversation — "I will never marry Northcote" — Moze and Joe, the stolen chicken — "Africa at Avar with herself. ACT II. — Mrs. Adams and Hazel waiting the return of Mr. Adams — The approaching storm — Arrival of Mr. Adams and Basil North- cote — The marriage license — "Oh! father, what does this mean?" — Mrs. Adams pleads for Hazel, but in vain — Anger of Mr, Adams — Hazel driven from home with a father's curse — Storm increases — The stolen papers — Mr. Adams discovers the thief — "Basil Northcote, you are a villain" — "Sign those papers, or they shall be stained with your life's blood" — Death of Mrs. Adams. ACT III. — Home of John Esterbrook and Hazel in the North— Moze arrives — The surprise — Bad tidings from the old home — Mr. Adams escapes from Northcote* and* is a wanderer — The villain in pursuit — Joe and John Esterbrook shadow the villain — Mr. Adams, as a beggar, half crazed, comes to Hazel's door during a storm — Hazel forgives him— Northcote discovers Mr. Adams— The attempted murder is foiled by the detective — Joe on guard — Arrest of North- cote — Happy reunion. "We's goin' back, we's goin' back, We's goin' whar de sweet magnolia blooms, We's goin' back, we's goin' back, We's goin' to our dear old Southern home." Price 1 5 cents. .ELmes' Plays — G antiniiBd. W). 146 53 51 59 102 63 62 58 324 136 168 124 257 248 178 176 207 199 174 158 149 37 237 338 265 114 264 219 239 221 262 131 210 16 Our Awful Aunt 4 Out in the Streets 6 Rescued ~ 5 Saved 2 Turn of the Tide 7 Three Glasses a Day 4 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 Wrecked 9 COMEDIES. A Day In A Doctor's Office... 5 A Legal Holiday » A Pleasure Trip 7 An Afflicted Family 7 Caught in the Act 7 Captured 6 Caste 5 Factory Girl 6 Heroic Dutchman of '76 8 Home 4 Love's Labor Not Lost 3 Mr.Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 New Years in N. Y 7 Not So Bad After All 6 Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 OurBtys 6 Our Daughters 8 Pug and the Baby 5 Passions 8 Prof. James' Experience Teaching Country School 4 Rags and Bottles 4 Scale with Sharps and Flats.. 3 Solon Shingle 14 Two Bad Boys 7 The Biter Bit 3 The Cigarette 4 $2,000 Reward 2 TRAGEDIES. The Serf 6 FARCES & COMEDIETTA S . 129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 132 Actor and Sorvant 1 1 316 Aunt Charlotte's Maid 3 3 289 A Colonel's Mishap 5 12 A Capital Matt-h..., 3 2 303 A Kiss in the Dark 2 3 166 ATexan Mother-in-Law 4 2 30 A Day Well Spent 7 5 169 A Regular Fix 2 4 286 A Professional Gardener 4 2 80 Alarmingly Suspicious 4 3 320 Allln A Mud.le 3 3 78 An Awf id Criminal 3 3 313 A Matchmaking Father 2 2 A Pet of the Public 4 A Romantic Attachment 3 rh Thrilling Item 3 1 Ticket of Leave 3 2 329 A Valets, Mistake 5 4 324 A Day in a Doctors Office 5 1 175 Betsey Baker 2 2 22 84 2H7 225 317 249 49 72 19 220 188 42 148 218 224 233 1.54 184 274 209 13 307 271 116 120 50 140 74 35 247 95 305 599 11 323 99 82 182 127 228 302 106 28S 139 231 235 69 23 208 212 32 186 273 296 259 .110 334 44 33 v. r. Better Half 5 2 Black vs. Whit« 4 2 Captain Smith .. 3 3 Cheek Will Win 3 Cousin Josiah 1 1 Cupids Capers 4 4 Cleveland's Reception Party. 5 3 Double Election 9 1 Der Two Surprises 1 1 Deuce is in Him 5 1 Did I Dream it 4 3 Dutchy vs. Nigger 3 Dutch Prize Fighter 3 Domestic Felicity 1 1 Eh? What Did You Say 3 1 Everybody Astonished 4 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 Fun in a Post Office 4 2 Family Discipline 1 Family Jars 5 2 Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 Give Me My Wife 3 3 Hallabahoola, the Medicine Man 4 S Hans, the Dutch J. P 3 1 Hans Brummel's Cafe 5 Hash 4 2 H. M.S. Plum 1 1 How She has Own Way 1 3 How He Popped the Quest'n. 1 1 How to Tame M-in-Law 4 2 How Stout Your Getting 5 2 lncompatibilitv of Temper... 1 2 In the Wrong Clothes 5 S Jacob Shlaff's Mistake 3 2 Jimmie Jones :. 3 2 John Smith 5 3 Johnnes Blatz's Mistake 4 3 Jumbo Jum 4 3 Killing Time 1 Kittie r s Wedding Cake...... 1 3 Lick Skillet Wedding 2 2 Laudorbach's Little Surprise 3 Locked in a Dress-maker's Room 3 2 Lodgings for Two 3 Love in all Corners 5 8 Matrimonial Bliss 1 1 Match for a other-Min-Law.. 2 2 More Blunders than one 4 3 Mother's Fool 6 1 My Heart's in Highlands 4 3 My Precious Betsey 4 4 My Turn Next 4 3 My Wife's Relations 4 4 My Day and Now-a-Days 1 My Neighbor's Wife 3 3 Nan ka's Leap Year Venture.. 5 2 Nobody's Moke 5 2 Our Hotel 5 3 Olivet 3 2 Obedience 1 2 On the Sly 3 2 rn LIBRARY OF CONGRESS NO. 57 217 165 195 159 171 180 267 309 48 138 115 55 327 232 241 270 1 326 339 137 328 252 315 40 38 101 167 291 308 285 68 295 54 28 292 142 276 263 7 281 312 269 170 213 332 151 56 70 135 li7 155 111 157 215 Paddy Miles' Boy 5 2 Patent Washing Machine 4 1 Persecuted Dutchman 6 3 PoorPilicody 2 3 Quiet Family ... 4 4 Rough Diamond 4 3 Ripples 2 Room 44 2 Santa Claus' Daughter 5 4 Schnaps 1 1 Sewing Circle of Period 5 S. H. A. M. Pinafore 3 3 Somebody's Nobody 3 2 Strictly Temperance 2 2 Stage Struck Yankee 4 2 Struck by Lightning 2 2 Slick and SkinDer 5 Slasher and Crasher 5 2 Too Many Cousins 3 3 Two Gentlemen in a Fix 2 Taking the Census 1 1 The Landlords Revenge 3 That Awful Carpet Bag 3 3 That Rascal Pat 3 2 That Mysterious B'dle 2 2 The Bewitched Closet 5 2 TheComingMan 3 1 Turn Him Out... 3 2 The Actor's Scheme 4 4 The Irish Squire of Squash Ridge 4 2 The Mashers Mashed 5 2 The Sham Professor 4 TheSpellin' Skewl 7 6 The Two T.J's 4 2 Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 2 Tim Flannigan 5 Tit for Tat 2 1 The Printer and His Devils.. 3 1 Trial? of a Country Editor... . 6 2 The Wonderful Telephone.... 3 1 Two Aunt Emilys 8 Uncle Ethan 4 3 Unjust Justice 6 2 U.S. Mail .. 2 2 Vermont Wool Dealer 5 3 Which is Which 3 3 Wanted a Husband 2 1 Wooing Under Difficulties 5 3 Which will he Marry 2 8 Widower's Trials 4 Waking Him Up 1 2 Why they Joined the Re- beccas 4 Yankee Duelist 3 1 Yankee Peddler 7 3 GUIDE BOOKS. Hints on Elocution Hints to Amateurs CANTATA. On to Victory 4 f> NO. If. F. ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 204 Academy of Stars 6 A Coincidence 8 An Unwelcome Return 3 1 An Unhappy Pair 1 1 Black Shoemaker 4 2 Black Statue 4 2 Colored Senators 3 Chops 3 Cuff's Luck 2 1 Crimps Trip 5 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 Haunted House 2 Hamlet the Dainty 6 1 How Sister Paxey got her Child Baptized 2 Handy Andy. 2 Hypochondriac The 2 In For It 3 In the Wrong Box 3 Joe's Visit 2 Mischievous Nigger 4 Midnight Colic 2 Musical Darkey 325 65 15 172 98 22 214 145 190 27 153 230 24 236 319 47 77 256 128 90 61 244 234 150 246 109 297 134 258 177 96 107 1S3 179 94 243 25 92 238 10 64 253 282 122 118 6 108 245 4 197 198 216 206 210 203 205 156 No Cure No Pay 3 Not as Deaf as He Scesas 3 Old Clothes 3 Old Dad's Cabin 2 OldPompey 1 Othello .. 4 Other People's Children 3 Pomp Green's Snakes 2 Potnn's Pranks 2 Prof. Bones'Latest Invention 5 Quarrelsome Servants 3 Rooms to Let 2 School 5 Seeing Bosting 3 Sham Doctor 3 3 16,000 Years Ago 3 Sports on a Lark 3 Sport with a Sportsman 2 Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 Strawberry Shortcake 2 Stocks Up, Stocks Down 2 That Boy Sam 3 1 The Best Cure 4 1 The Intelligence Office 3 The Select School The Popcorn Man 3 1 The Studio 3 Those Awful Boys 5 Ticket Taker 3 Twain's Dodging 3 1 Tricks 5 2 Uncle Jeff 5 2 Vice Versa 3 1 Villkcns and Dinah, 4 1 Virginia Mumir*-, 6 1 Who Stole the Cnickens 1 1 William Tell 4 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 Happy Franks Songter 3i The LittlelGem Make-Up Box. Prioe 50 Cents.