Liliput 
 
 Philosophers 
 
 B Y 
 
 H. W. DUSZOWSKI, A.M., M.D 
 
 NEW YORK, 1882. 
 
LiLiPUT Philosophers, 
 
 HTW. DUSZOWSKI, A.M., M.D. 
 
 so...S:.t^ ''^A' 
 
 Printed for the Author by 
 
 W. B. SMITH & CO., 
 
 27 Bond Street, Nhw Youk. 
 
 , i. 
 

 Copyright, 1882. 
 
 BY 
 
 H. W. DUSZOWSKI, NEW YORK. 
 
Dedication. 
 
 Literary works are generally dedicated to some 
 great or good man. 
 
 This production shall make an exception, for the 
 author dedicates the same 
 
 All Who are Wise in Their Own Conceit. 
 
 H. W. D. 
 
 (6) 
 
Introduction. 
 
 Things cannot be laughed away ; and, say or do 
 what you like, the world will be full of fools. 
 
 This is very true, but no argument against the 
 efforts of a reformer. 
 
 Satire is certainly one of the strongest weapons in 
 the hands of those who are trying honestl}^ to spread 
 light in this benighted valley of death, and then 
 especially, when ridicule is accompanied by sound 
 argument. 
 
 If satire has for its object to show the ignorant the 
 folly of his ways, then indeed it has accomplished 
 much ; but it must never omit to give to the erring 
 something that he will value more than precious gold. 
 
 Infidelity has from times immemorial heaped ridi- 
 cule and scorn upon the revelation of truth. And 
 why has not keenest witticism, and bitterest satire, 
 been able to wipe out Christianity? Simply because 
 it has not substituted anything better for it. 
 
 There is a war going on between revelation and 
 science. No, never. For revelation and true science 
 are both divine ; but scientists, that is, such who lay 
 claim to profound wisdom without possessing it, are 
 constantly striving against revelation's light. 
 
 To chastise such, and to open the eyes of those 
 who but too readily follow a self-instituted leader, and 
 also to point them to the source of true wisdom, the 
 folio win o^ lines have been written. 
 
 If this object is reached, small as the result maybe, 
 the author w^ill feel encouraged to proceed on the path 
 which has given to his mind comfort and peace. 
 
 New Yokk, January, 1882. 
 
 (fi) 
 
LiLiPUT Philosophers, 
 
 I think 'tis great presumption on man's part, 
 That he declares himself to be 
 Sole arbiter of science aucl of art, 
 And ruler of the land and sea. 
 
 "My brains gave me the power to think," says he, 
 
 " To me belongs the realm of thought ; 
 
 No other creature has tlie })ower to see 
 
 How nature's mysteries are wrought ; 
 
 For I alone on reason's wings can rise. 
 
 To me Minerva tends the lustrous prize 
 
 Of wisdom, honor and renown." 
 Hush, silly man, thy boasted reason 
 Has often been but basest treason. 
 Has often led thee to conclusions 
 Which have been nought but sore confusions. 
 Thy divings into depths of physics. 
 Thy searchings through the glass of optics, 
 
 (7) 
 
8 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHIES. 
 
 Have neither brought the heavens nearer 
 Nor made unsolved problems clearer. 
 
 Philosophy and Geology, 
 
 Astronomy and Cosmology, 
 
 Not mentioning Meteorology, 
 
 Neither speaking of Theology ; 
 
 All these have been perused by thee with care, 
 
 They were thy aim, thy very heart's delight ; 
 
 And yet they were thy stumbling block and snare. 
 
 Because thou hast not studied them aright. 
 
 To show how man from truth has gone astray 
 By trusting only to these noble arts ; 
 How he has fallen into folly's way, 
 How he has wounded many noble hearts. 
 The tale that follows will be simply told. 
 'Twill show that folly never, never dies. 
 New garbs are put on theories of old ; 
 New truths are oft but old repeated lies. 
 
 On a branch of a lofty tree 
 
 Which stands in Washington, D. C. 
 
LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 9 
 
 There sat a sober-looking fly 
 And viewed the capitol and sky. 
 
 Flies, we know, will be always found 
 
 In filthy haunts, on sacred ground. 
 
 In church, in schools, in dining halls. 
 
 In circus tents, on college walls. 
 When Congress meets, with closed doors, 
 When thieves will hide their secret stores, 
 When lovers think there is no spy, 
 Be sure there is a buzzing fly. 
 
 No wonder then, they so much know 
 
 Of things above, of things below. 
 
 Their constant buzzing plainly shows 
 
 The depth and wisdom of their thoughts. 
 The fly we spoke of, sat amazed ; 
 For on yon structure he had gazed 
 With eyes of wisdom, for we hear 
 His voice resounding far and near : 
 " Pondering over a proper and truthful solution 
 Touching the capitol's origin ; I have come to the con- 
 clusion. 
 That there is no truth in man's strange and highly 
 conceited assertion, 
 
10 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 
 
 Saying that architects raised that building. This 
 foolish delusion 
 
 Must be combated with weapons of scorn, and palpa- 
 ble reason. 
 
 Come then, ye children of men, I will show you the 
 truth bright as noon-day. 
 
 Fighting against it, rejecting the same, would be high- 
 handed treason ; 
 
 Safety, however, and comfort, will give you this truth 
 on your pathway. 
 
 In the beginning the whole space with myriads of 
 atoms was filled ; 
 
 Each of these particles moved in his sphere, yet in 
 some way it happened, 
 
 How, we can't say, but it happened, that two of these 
 atoms collided. 
 
 Strengthened by union of forces, they sooner we think 
 of attracted 
 
 More of their neighbors, and thus the centripetal force 
 was created. 
 
 Other such centres had formed themselves, and others 
 resisted. 
 
LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 11 
 
 Forced by centrifugal impulse ; and thus these two 
 
 forces combined 
 Formed this world with yon capitol, ourselves, and all 
 
 we think of." 
 
 Three times three cheers, cries the public 
 
 Of this wonderful Republic ; 
 
 For an oracle has spoken, 
 
 Truth and wisdom are his token. 
 
 Antiquated Bible teachings, 
 
 Faith and heart's contrition preachings. 
 
 Can withstand the test no longer ; 
 
 For this science' light is stronger. 
 
 ATOMIC science is our light 
 
 All other ken is dark as night. 
 
 Whilst our fly was making preparation 
 
 For his stupendous mass of information ; 
 
 From Potomac's waters a mosquito rose, 
 
 For on yonder tree he wanted to repose. 
 
 He had heard the grandiloquent, wondrous speech 
 
 Of yon fly, and his audacity to teach. 
 
12 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 
 
 "Pshaw! What twidle, twadle nonsense!" he ex- 
 claimed. 
 ''Listen but to me, and all will be explained. 
 
 Who can tell what to-morrow will be ? 
 
 Who of us the future can foresee ? 
 
 Thus on things to speculate is vain, 
 
 CHANCE is ruler of the world — 'tis plain. 
 
 Chance, mere chance, has brought me here to-day, 
 
 Chance will tell me whether I may stay ; 
 
 Chance will tell me where to get a bite ; 
 
 Chance brings tears, and chance may bring 
 delight. 
 
 Atoms are nought but creatures of chance, 
 
 Chance has made them in the sunbeam dance ; 
 
 Chance has brought them together — you see ; 
 
 Chance has ever ruled you and me." 
 
 This wondrous speech came to a sudden close ; 
 
 For lo, a jackass by a horrid bray 
 
 Told he would take his noonday's sweet repose, 
 
 And rest his weary, lazy bones to-day. 
 
 He swung his tail, and shook his graceful ears, 
 
 Knew not that a mosquito and a fly 
 
LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS, 13 
 
 Were only waiting to excite his fears, 
 
 To drink his blood, and would his patience try. 
 
 But reader, are you not amazed to see 
 Such teachers stooping to so mean a feast ? 
 Be not astonished ; for 'tis fate's decree, 
 That all such fools, from greatest to the least, 
 On asses and on filth should ever live ; 
 That haunts of darkness. should be their delight; 
 That fools' applauses should them pleasure give. 
 And though they search, should never find the light; 
 And critics, who had lauded to the sky 
 The fly, when he his theory proclaimed. 
 They now the stinger praised and scorned the fly, 
 
 "'Tis chance that rules the world," they now 
 exclaimed. 
 The speakers from their bloody feast arose, 
 Their belly full, but with a duller brain. 
 Their silly quarrel to renew, they chose 
 And would for certain have each other slain ; 
 But lo, a common enemy appeared. 
 Their war of words came to a sudden end ; ' 
 
14 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 
 
 They both, to lose their laurels sadly feared. 
 Their hatred in their mutual foe did blend. 
 
 A butterfly in gorgeous robes attired 
 Came fluttering from the flowery beds below ; 
 By cups of nectar was his soul inspired, 
 Which he to mortals wanted to bestow. 
 Moses' account of creation, 
 Prophets and their revelation. 
 Apostles and their holy creed, 
 And all who follow in their lead. 
 Must hang their heads in utter shame. 
 It would be folly and in vain 
 Against this birdlet's clearest light 
 To shut your eye, to strive to fight. 
 He is the nineteenth cent'ry star 
 Eclipsing all the rest by far. 
 Just listen to his wisdom's word, 
 He'll teach you how this wondrous world 
 From Alpha to Omega rose. 
 And what will be its final close. 
 "Look up to me," he cried. "Look up to me. 
 The gorgeous beauty of my wings you'll see : 
 
LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 15 
 
 The red, the azure and the genuine gold 
 
 And all my other qualities untold, 
 
 Are clearly seen by an enlightened eye. 
 
 It makes me shudder when I think that I 
 
 Originated from a tiny egg. 
 
 From which I rose, and had myself to drag 
 
 From leaf to leaf, a hideous worm, 
 
 And called a chrysalis, before I came 
 
 To this my present, perfect state and name. 
 
 But what was the law, which made that change. 
 And who did this succession thus arrange ? 
 Did a creative power, a will supreme 
 Direct this change, and all that can be seen? 
 All this is clear to me, 
 And blind must be 
 Who can not see. 
 Nor does agree with me. 
 
 This present form of our creation, 
 
 Is owed to many a transformation, 
 
 And science knows this revolution 
 
 Is brought about by EVOLUTION. 
 
 'Tis evolution which has made 
 
 These changes, putting into shade 
 
16 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 
 
 Old rusty doctrines of the past ; 
 But this will all of them outlast. 
 The facts I speak of you'll find 
 As clear as noon-day to your mind." 
 
 A mouse will soon become a rat ; 
 
 When wings were added, 'twas a bat. 
 
 A tiger was one day a cat. 
 
 This meek and purring pussy cat 
 
 May one day be a lion bold, 
 
 And what all else cannot be told. 
 
 What Evolution may yet do 
 
 'Tis not for me to say nor you. 
 
 An oyster may become a whale, 
 
 An owl, a charming nightingale ; 
 
 A rattlesnake may have been a snail ; 
 
 And a baboon without a tail 
 
 Is man " 
 
 Ah reader mine, old -^sop was no fool, 
 When he the story told about that frog, 
 Who wanted to be as big as Mr. Bull. 
 To live no more he wanted in a bog, 
 
LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 17 
 
 But walk about on meadows and on fields, 
 So he to Evolution's doctrine yields ; 
 Inflates and puffs himself, far more he durst, 
 And oh ! poor silly frog, at last he burst. 
 
 But what did critics say of this new light ? 
 Ah friend, the less they knew, the more they wrote. 
 And spoke, and preached of it, and well they might ; 
 For a benio^hted wanderer ofttimes thouo^ht 
 Will-o*-the- wisps, which rose from marshy ground. 
 Were true and friendly lights, and guiding stars ; 
 But soon, they to their shame and sorrow found, 
 That they had trusted to an idle farce. 
 
 Each speaker, armed his doctrine to defend. 
 
 Arose. All listeners wondered what would be the end. 
 
 When lo ! the earth beneath the tree upheaved. 
 
 It trembled, groaned, and shook, and all believed 
 
 That an event terrific would take place. 
 
 Each heart stood still, and pale became each face. 
 
 But in the mound was formed a little hole 
 
 And out of it came forth an aged mole. 
 
18 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 
 
 "I've heard," says he, "dear sirs, your vain 
 
 attempt 
 To solve creation's problem by a word. 
 Your talk, my sirs, has shown a deep contempt 
 Of things, of which, may be, you've never heard. 
 But I, who have spent ray life from early youth 
 In careful explorations of the deep, 
 I, I can teach you, where to find the truth, 
 And where you may true wisdom's harvest reap. 
 What happened in a prehistoric age, 
 GEOLOGY alone can solve and find. 
 What heretofore the most enlightened sage 
 Couldn't see, is clear and plain to every mind. 
 Who but a keen geologist could tell 
 What rocks from Pluto's fiery region rose. 
 Or which have sprung from Neptune's watery dell ? 
 Those horrid craters from which lava flows 
 He has explored. No mountain is too high 
 For his research ; no ocean's bed too deep ; 
 For nought escapes his searching, watchful eye. 
 He brought to light what in oblivion's sleep 
 Has slept for ages past. He writes his name 
 On rocks ; he names the monsters of the past ; 
 His works, his thoughts, decrees and lofty fame, 
 Don't wonder, sirs, all others will outlast. 
 
LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS. 19 
 
 These strata can but I to you explain ; 
 And as you know that figures do not lie, 
 You must concede, that it is clear and plain 
 That billion years have passed beneath the sky 
 Since this creation " 
 
 Poor blinded mole ! His voice was swiftly hushed. 
 
 The cruel gardener's spade descending crushed 
 
 His head ; for in his blind and fiery zeal 
 
 He had no eye to see the deadly steel. 
 
 " Ah, self-conceited beast ! " the man exclaims, 
 " He for himself all truth and wisdom claims ; 
 All he has done is surface-work at best ; 
 All he explored is but the outside crust. 
 And he presumes to talk such lofty words, 
 As if the earth, and all the other worlds, 
 According to his laws, by him were made." 
 
 The tragic end of that poor silly mole. 
 
 Who had come forth from his cavernous hole, 
 
 Had been no warning to the buzzing fly, 
 
 Nor to the " skeeter," nor the butterfly. 
 
 They rose with angry words and fiercer hearts, 
 
 To slay each other by their fiery darts. 
 
 And as they fluttered round and fiercely fought. 
 
 They not as heroes fell — they all were caught 
 
20 LILIPUT PHILOSOPHERS, 
 
 In H malicious spider's web and snare 
 
 vYho made their limbs secure with greatest care. 
 
 The end of our tale is told, 
 Will you, my reader, call me bold 
 If I request you not to pause 
 Until you've read the parting clause ? 
 Think not that science has declared a war 
 
 'Gainst revelation's light. 
 'Tis scientists, who with half knowledge mar 
 
 What's true and what is bright. 
 The book of nature and the holy book 
 
 How could they disagree? 
 God wrote them both, and if you'll only look, 
 
 This truth you'll plainly see. 
 Man knows but little here below, 
 
 Nor knows that little well ; 
 If we in faith, and hope, and love will grow 
 
 In glory we shall dwell. 
 Our deepest ken is but a feeble spark 
 
 Of God's eternal light ; 
 All we conceive is doubtful, false, or dark 
 
 And patchwork in His sight. 
 Where science ends, there glorious faith will rise 
 
 Which will in patience wait, 
 'Till God, the great, the good, the just, the wise 
 
 Will ope' His mansion's gate. 
 
22 SUPPLEMENT. 
 
 Supplement. 
 
 The following lines were written about Ave years later than the 
 foregoing. 
 
 The folly of spiritualism, and the retined wickedness hiding her- 
 self under the veil of a beautiful word, have given rise to the sen- 
 timents that are expressed. 
 
 They are published by an urgent request of several friends of the 
 author. 
 
 Dedicated 
 
 TO THOSE WHO DO NOT WALK ON TERRA FIRM A 
 BUT IN THE CLOUDS. 
 
 And shall we close our record now 
 Without a notice of that patient beast 
 Who deep in thoughts with knitted broAV 
 Had listened to the greatest and the least? 
 
 They call him jackass, and we say 
 
 That thought and logic are not in his brain, 
 
 That all he utters is a stupid bray, 
 
 That we would look for wisdom all in vain. 
 But look at him, he's clad in gray, 
 Which proves his simple, modest, humble mind ; 
 The cross upon his back does say 
 That he is pious, virtuous, meek and kind. 
 
 To heaven do point his graceful ears ; 
 
 Abuses, kicks he bears without complaint, 
 
 Is not offend( d by our sneers ; 
 
 And does not all this prove him as a saint? 
 
SUPPLEMENT. 2d 
 
 An Epicure he puts to shame, 
 For on a thistle he can dine ; 
 He does not care for worldly fame, 
 Far loftier things he's trying to divine. 
 The spirit world he for his province claims, 
 The worldly pomp he does despise, 
 His thirsty soul to higher objects aims, 
 On dreamland's fields he claims to win a prize. 
 He thinks of that great venerable sire, 
 In Bileam's times, who spake in human voice, 
 When spirit's vision did his soul inspire. 
 To win a greater tame that's now his choice. 
 Spirits, goblins, imps and witches, 
 Will-o'-the-wisps, and all that twitches, 
 Creeps and lurks around by midnight. 
 This, he thinks, he sees m daylight. 
 Table rappings. 
 Spirits' tappings 
 Enigmatic perorations, 
 Psychometric dissertations. 
 Medium's mad and foolish preaching 
 Is what donkey wants be teaching. 
 Writers of the present have for him no charm, 
 Simple Bible precepts, thinks he, will but harm. 
 Logic's plainest teachings will his bram not reach. 
 Hear, O gentle reader, to his wondrous speech ! 
 "O listen ! Ye spirits, ye dwellers of Hades, 
 We mortals implore ye to lift up the cover 
 Which darkens our vision and blinds our reason. 
 By rappings, and buzzings, and scribbliiigs reveal us 
 
24 SUPPLEMENT. 
 
 What books will not teach us. O Socrates, hear us ! 
 Demosthenes, Cicero, Homer and Plato, 
 Seneca, and all ye who lived when darkness 
 Was covering the earth, and gross darkness the people. 
 In God's revelation the light has appeared ; 
 But we do not want that, and rather would listen 
 To ravings of weak-headed simpletons, or else 
 To oily and spicy enigma of cunning 
 And artful old hags, or be caught in the meshes 
 Of maidens, whose fame at best is doubtful. 
 O ! sweet is the seance, where gathered together 
 Around an old table, when fools can be led to 
 Believe that things wonderful just now would happen. 
 What bliss is it when the two sexes, with hands clasped 
 Are sitting together in darkened apartments, 
 And whispering soft words of enticing endearment ! 
 O ! come then, and join us ! We call ye, the aged, 
 And also the young, for here is true wisdom 
 And thorough enjoyment just now and forever." 
 '' Well, did you ever hear the like !" 
 The gardener said, and lifted up the spade 
 With which the mole he just did strike. 
 "This puts all I have heard in deepest shade. 
 To hell he goes in search of light. 
 And gropes in thickest darkness all his day, 
 Whilst noonday's sun is shining bright 
 He does not know true wisdom's way. 
 
 Away ! Away ! " The gardener cries. 
 " No more of this thy nonsense do I want, 
 And none of thine accursed lies." 
 And so he drove the jackass to his haunt. 
 
LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 
 
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