635 6 NO PLAYS EXCHANGCI^. BnHnR'5 Edition orPL7\Y>3^^ Special Delivery Price, 15 Cents sasas: TflE AMAZONS ^»r«e^ Three Acts. Seyen males, five iemaies. Costumes, modem ; scenery, not difficult. Plays a full evening. THE CABINET MINISTER Farcem Four Acts. Tenmales,mne females. Costumes, modem society ; Bcenety, three interiorso Plays a full evening. DANDT DICK ^"*'® *^ Three Acts. Seven males, four femaies. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. PlayE two hours and a half, TflE GAT LORD ODEX ^^o^^edy in Four Acts. Four males ten ^ females. Costujnes, modem ; scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. flIS HOUSE IN ORDER ^^^^^y in Four Acts. Nine males, foiiT females. Costumes, modern 5 scenery^ three interiors. Plays a full evening. THE HOBBT HORSE ^**™®'^y "* Three Acts. Ten males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. IRIS ^'^*™* ^ ¥iY& Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumeflj modem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. LADT BODNTIk^DL ^^^ *" ^"'^ '^*'*^° lS.\g^t males, seven fe- males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- teriors, not easy. Plays a full evening. LETTY ■''^'^*™* ^ Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five fe- males. Costumes, modem ; scenery complicated. Plays a full eventagc Sent prepaid on receipt of price by Wmzt i^» Bafeeu d Company NOo 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts wsm Special Delivery A Farce in One Act By D. M. HENDERSON BOSTON WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 1911 Special Delivery ^ >j^^4 1 CHARACTERS Mr. Allen Fortescue. Major Coggins, a post-office inspector, A Postman. Miss Margery Portwaite. Aunt Kizzie, an old negro servant* Copyright, 1911, by, Walter H. Baker & Co. iCLD 25iJc;5 special Delivery SCENE. — The action occurs in the reception room of Mr. John Portwaite" s home. The room is furnished with a rug, a table, a screen, a telephone, and several chairs. The entrances are R. and L. The time of the action is five p. m. (Mr. Allen Fortescue has fust handed Aunt Kizzie his card at rise of curtain.') Aunt K. I'se gwine take dis kyard to Miss Margery, Marse Allen, but I knows purzackly what she gwine say. She's done tole me 'spressly dat she ain't gwine to be at home to you. For. Auntie, tell her I've got to see her ! She'll drive me crazy if she keeps on in this way ! Tell her that if she don't come down, I'm going up ! Aunt K. Go long, Marse Allen ! Won't her eyes snap fire when I tells her dat ! \^Exit, L. For. (taking a letter from his breast pocket). How can I persuade Margery to drop these ridiculous notions? If these are the things women's colleges teach, no wonder the marriage rate among their graduates isn't high. {Reads.) "I can't marry a man content to live solely on inherited money ! I can't marry a non-producer ! I've talked it over with dad, and I think he agrees — dear old dad, who slaved so for what he's gotten ! You remember what Carlyle says : ' Produce ! Produce ! Were it but the pitifuUest, infinitesimal fraction of a product, produce it, in God's name ! ' Show me that you can earn your living by hard work ; — then Until you bring such proof, I think it best, for peace of mind, not to see you." Aunt K. {entering l.). Miss Margery tole me to ax if you'd brung her dat proof? For. Hang it ! No ! Aunt K. Den I'se to inform you dat you can't see her. An' she says, " Jes' let him try to come up ! " Clar to good- ness, Marse Allen, you better not try ! 4 SPECIAL DELIVERY For. {approaching door- r.). Guess I'd better take your advice. I see it's me for overalls and a dinner pail ! I'd like to have old Carlyle by the neck ! ( Glances through the door.') Wait ! That's a special delivery postman coming up the steps ! Quick, Auntie, bring him in here ! I've a notion that this will give me a chance to see her. (Aunt K. leaves, R., and reenters, a moment later, with Postman. For., to Postman.) I see you've a special delivery letter. For Miss Portwaite, I presume. Postman. Miss Margery Portwaite, sir. Fob. You require her signature ? Postman. If possible. For. I want you to let me deliver that letter — in your uniform ! Postman. Not on your life ! What are you trying to get me into ? For. Oh, I know it's surprising, and against Uncle Sam's rules ! But no one will hear of it ; no harm will come of it ; and I'll pay you what you think it's worth ! Postman. It's worth fifty, and a heap more if I get in a fix through it ! For. {counting out bills). There's the fifty, and you'll get what you ask if the other thing happens. Step behind this screen. Auntie, stand guard ! {They go behind the screen. Aunt K. stands before it, arms outstretched.) Aunt K, Lawdy ! Marse Allen's gittin' dis ole woman into a bar'l of trubble 1 S'pose ole Marse John was to come home now ! S'pose Miss Margery took a notion to git some- fin' in dis room ! (For. and Postman reappear, each wearing the other's clothes. ) For. Good fit, eh, Auntie? {To Postman.) And now, would you mind taking a walk around the block ? Postman. If it'll suit you, I'll slip home and get my supper. I meant to do that before I went back to the office. I won't be long. For. It suits me to a T. Give the bell a ring as you leave. Auntie, show the gentleman out. {Exeunt, R., Aunt K. and Postman ; a bell rings ; Aunt K. returns.) And now, Auntie, I'm ready for Miss Portwaite's signature ! SPECIAL DELIVERY 5 Aunt K. Yas, suh ! But doan' yo' let on, Marse Allen, dat I had anything to do wif dis hocus-pocus ! {^Exit, L. For. (^pulling his cap over his face). It'll be just my luck if she asks to have my receipt book sent up ! (^Glances through the door.) No ! She's coming ! Enter Miss Margery Portwaite, l. J Miss P. You've a letter for me ? For. Yes, miss ! (Miss P.' takes the letter and signs the book. As she re- turns the book, For. seizes her hand and kisses it.) Miss P. {snatching her hand away). You wretch — how dare you ! For. (removing his cap). I'll dare your lips next ! Miss P. Allen ! You a postman ? Oh, I see ! You've gone to work ! You're earning that thousand ! For. No, dear. I'm a postman for a half hour only. This was just a ruse I used to see you. But Gad, if you stick to your word I guess I might as well be a postman as anything else ! I wonder if these fellows have to pass a stiff exam ? Miss P. (stiffly). Whatever you do, Mr. Fortescue, you'll not gain much by starting with a policy of deception. (Starts to leave and drops the letter.) For. Please, Margery, be reasonable ! I