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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 017 199 372 6 •* 
 
 HoUinger 
 
WANTED-A PARTNER 
 
 a DauOevUlc SFictcb In Owe Bet 
 
 BY 
 
 FLOE BAKER 
 
 Copyright 1912, by Samuel French 
 
 NOTICE — The Professional acting rights of this play are reserved by 
 the publisher, and permission for such performances must be ob- 
 tained before performances are given. This notice does not apply 
 to amateurs, who may perform the play without permission. AH 
 professional unauthorised productions will bo prosecuted to the 
 full extent of the law. 
 
 PRICE 2 5 CENTS 
 
 New York 
 SAMUEL FRENCH 
 
 PUBLISHER 
 
 28-30 WEST 38th STREET 
 
 London 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 
 
 26 Southampton Street, 
 
 STRAND 
 

 t'^y 
 
 WANTED A PARTNER 
 
 Scene. — Hotel Parlor. 
 
 Characters: 2 males, 1 female. 
 
 EvKLYN LaPoint Actrcf^s, irlio lias advertised for 
 
 partner for Vaudeville Act 
 
 Fritz Meyers A German Musician and applicant 
 
 for the partnership iritli Evelyn 
 
 Heine IIoffendixger A German singer and 
 
 dancer. Also applicant 
 for partnership. Made 
 up identical. 
 
 ©CI.D ^14ai 
 
WANTED A PARTNER 
 
 (At opniiiKj of Act KvKLYN' is diffcovprpd seated at 
 piano.) 
 
 E. (after finish of son(j) (Jcol but this is a 
 
 sleepy town, T liave liad an ad in the paper for a 
 Vaudeville partner for two days and haven't re- 
 reived a sin«rle application, (picks up paper and 
 reads) Wanted — A CJerman Comedian to take part 
 in Vaudeville Act. Must be able to do specialties, 
 a])p]y in porson to Miss Evelyn LaPoint, (local 
 hotel). If I don't have an ajiplicant to-day, I shall 
 begin to think they don't know what a Oernian Come- 
 dian is around here, (crosses from piano to table as 
 she (/ires last lines and sits with head on hands in a 
 vert/ thoughtfid mood) Poor Old Jack, if he liad 
 only lived. For nearly two years we were together, 
 and in those two years we had some mi;;hty hard 
 times, I'll tell you. Put Jack always stuck to me all 
 throuirh our hard luck, like the ;rood old pal that he 
 was, and just when thinfrs were be;,nnnin<j to look 
 hriirhter — just when we were makinjx ?ood, the final 
 curtain was runij down on poor Jack, for one evenin<j 
 just before the performance, he was hroui^ht to my 
 dressincr room dead. TTad been struck by an auto- 
 mobile. Tf he had onlv lived evervthinir would have 
 been different. But Oh! Pshaw! what is the use 
 thinking of how tilings might have been, (crosses to 
 
 3 
 
4 WANTED-A PARTNER 
 
 piano, begins to hum some tune and accompaniment, 
 thoughtfully) 
 
 (Noise heard outside as of someone in argument.) 
 
 I wonder what all this noise is about, {rises and 
 starts toward center door) 
 
 {Enter Hoffkxdixgeh hacl-irards, still in argument 
 irith someone on the outside.) 
 
 IT. Go on, there, you great big — vot you t'ink I 
 
 am? Try to tell me I don't know — etc. {I urns and 
 sees EvELYx) Say, vot you t'ink of that feller try'n' 
 to tell me I look like (some notable local character). 
 
 E. {laughs) Well, you do resemble him some, 
 
 but say, who are you and what are you doing here? 
 
 H. Xy I'm Heine Hoffendinger, der great 
 
 German impersonater. {pulU paper from his pocl-et) 
 Say, are you der lady vot wants a German Comedians 
 vor a partner? 
 
 E. T am Miss Evelyn LaPoiiit, the lady who in- 
 serted that advertisement in the paper for a German 
 Comedian to do specialties in mv Vaudeville Act. 
 
 H. Veil, I'm it. 
 
 E. Your what? 
 
 H. Vot 3^ou said. 
 
 E. Oh! you are a German Comedian, are you? 
 
 IT. Dot's vot I am. 
 
 E. Well, what can you do, Dutchy? 
 
 IT. Veil, I can drink beer, unt eat sauerkraut, 
 
 unt limberger cheese, unt 
 
 E. {interrupting him) Xo ! No! I mean 
 
 what can you do on the stage. Can you sing? 
 
 H. Yah ! I can sing unt tance, unt spooch 
 
 poultry. 
 
 E. You mean speak poetry. 
 
 H. Yah ! dot's it. 
 
 E. Well, let's hear you sing, Dutchy. 
 
 H. {facing audience down in one) Ladies 
 
WANTED A IWRTXKIl 5 
 
 unt what canu' init yon. I \ill siiiL^ t>> yuii a very 
 peautiful liddlo ballad, woid hy (hxnl tjrod'nj firm) 
 unt nioosir by (JomJ liardirnrr) entitled — Ven your 
 money is ijone I'll still lo\e you, but I can't be niit 
 you. (parodf/ accompanied hy K. SJiorf dnnrr fol- 
 lowing paroclj/) 
 
 E. ( after (Inner runs in wltrrr 11. i".s- a ml .shnk-C'i 
 
 him hi/ the hand) Say, Dutcby, you are all right. I 
 tliink you will do very well for the Act. Xow listen ! 
 You fi^o in that room and get those clothes ofT. You 
 will find a eostume in there, put it on and come back, 
 then we will reh.earso our Act. ITurry now. (r.rif IT. 
 L. 2 E.) At last I have another partner. While he is 
 changing T will run over that new son?: T received 
 to-day. (.9f7.<? at piano and hcgins to sinn. Ilinq at 
 door hrlJ) Xow, T wonder who that can be? (rros.scs 
 io door) 
 
 (Enter Meyers.) 
 
 E. (tools- from him (o I., 'i v..) Where did you 
 
 come from, ar.d how did you /ret in here? 
 
 ^r. Troo der door. TTow did you expect T come 
 
 in here, down der chimney? 
 
 E. Didn't T tell vou to go in the other room 
 
 and get those clothes ofT? 
 
 ^\- (friqhtenrd) A^.t ? Cet my clothes ofT? 
 
 (aMde fo audience) Say, dot vomans is crazy. 
 
 E. TTurry up n(»w. and do a< 1 tell you or we 
 
 won't have time for rehearsal, (starts fo push him 
 towards L. 2 e.) 
 
 M. (tryinq to stop her) A'ait a minute (nulls 
 
 paper from pocket) Are you der vomans \<>t adver- 
 tised vor a rierman specialist to do comedian? 
 
 E. T told you once before that T was the lady 
 
 who inserted that ad in the paper. 
 
 'S\. (aside) She told me vonce pefore. Dot 
 
 vomans is getting crazier all the tinu*. (to F*.) Say, 
 
6 WANTED-A PARTNER 
 
 vomans, der must be some mistake here^ you didn't 
 tell me nothin'. 
 
 E, Who are you? Isn't your name Hoffen- 
 
 dinger ? 
 
 M. Vy no, my name is Fritz Meyers, dot great 
 
 Germain Musicianer. I'm a cousin to John Philip 
 Susan. 
 
 E. (sits to piano) Oh, a great musician, eh? 
 
 Well, what can you play? 
 
 M. Shoost wait a minute, I vill show you. 
 
 (pulls trombone from trouser poclcets, one piece at a 
 time) 
 
 E. Oh ! I see a trombone Soloist. Say, Dutchy, 
 
 where did you get that diamond shirt stud? 
 
 M. Yell, you see mine brudder diet last week. 
 
 E. Your brother died? 
 
 M. Yes, unt shust before he diet he called me 
 
 to his petside und he says: Fritz, I am apout to tie. 
 I t'ink I can trust you to see that I am buried all 
 right. I only haf fife hundret tollars. Here it is. 
 I want 3'OU to take, it unt go py a stone mit it. 
 
 E. Well? 
 
 M. Yell, dot's de stone. 
 
 (Trombone solo accompanied by E. After solo, enter 
 IToEFE^^DixGER from L. 2 E., spcalcing as he 
 enters.) 
 
 IT. (lias corset in Ids hand) Say, is dis der 
 
 30stum vat you wanted me to put on ? 
 
 (HoFFEN^DiNGER and Meyees see each other at the 
 same time. Stare steadily at each other for 
 short time, then start towards each other cau- 
 tiously, both spealdng at the same time.) 
 
 M. and H. — —Say, am I you or are you me. 
 'N'o. Then who the devil are you? I don't know. 
 (short pause, each of them pinched himself to see if 
 he is dreaming) 
 
WANTED— A PARTNER 7 
 
 M. (hoastingly) Vy, Meyers is my name, I 
 
 am der great German Mucicianer vot di lady haf en- 
 geged for her Act. 
 
 H. (same tone) I peg your pardon, but der 
 
 young lady haf alreaty sphoken to me to take the 
 part. 
 
 E. Well, boys, we will easily settle that dispute. 
 
 I have decided to use you both in my Act, Now I 
 am going to go in the next room and dress for the 
 Act, and then we will have a rehearsal. In the mean- 
 time you boys make yourselves right at home, and 
 amuse yourselves until T return, (exit l. 2 e. Busi- 
 ness of flirting with them as she exits) 
 
 M. and H. Toodle — oo — Oh you kid — etc., etc. 
 
 H. Veil, Meyers, can you tance? 
 
 M. Can T tance? Slioost vatch mo. (rloes 
 
 funny dance across the stage) How vas dot? 
 
 H. Pooty goot. Let's try dis von togcdder. 
 
 TEAM DAXCE. 
 
 (After dance, enter E. l. 2 e., does dance across the 
 stage.) 
 
 E. Well, boys, what do you think of me now? 
 
 (funny hiz of looldng at short sl-irts. Both try to 
 emhrace her at once) 
 
 E. (stopping them) No! No! Xone of that, 
 
 boys. Come now and help me with this song 
 
 SONG FOLLOWED BY TRIO DAXCE. 
 
 Time, 18 Minutes. 
 
 Bv Floe Baker. 
 
NOV 21 1912 
 
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