PS 635 
 .Z9 
 11434 
 Copy 1 
 
 
 Living - Statue, 
 
 A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS, 
 
 Adapted from the German. 
 
 ... BY- 
 ANTHONY MATRE, 
 
 Teacher of St. Philomena's School, CINCINNATI, O. 
 
 \ 
 
 AUTHOR OF... 
 
 CINCIN^ 
 
 
•••• 1 he •••• 
 
 Living - Statue^ 
 
 A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS, 
 
 Adapted from the German. 
 
 ...BY... 
 
 ANTHONY MATRB, 
 
 Teacher of St. Philomena's School, CINCINNATI, O. 
 
 ...AUTHOR OF... 
 
 'St. Lawrence," "Tarcisius," "St. Philomena," 
 
 'Rome under Valerian," "The Grecian Princess," 
 
 "Fabiola," Etc. 
 
 CINCINNATI, O. 
 Jos. Berniug Printing Co., 431 Main Street. 
 
 i8q8. 
 
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 ji?>itii\tf\>Afe\t>\^v*/\i)>\ii<^ 
 
 COPYKIGHT 
 
 BY 
 
 ANTHONY MATRE, 
 
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 TWO COPIES «ECEIVEO. 
 
Cast of Characters. 
 
 PLETZER, German Burgomaster of Dingsda. 
 
 ALOYS, his son. 
 
 O'KEEFE, Irish Police Officer. 
 
 SEVENSHOE, A Fake Artist. 
 
 SCHMITT, a Cook, formerly in Pletzer's employ. 
 
 FIRST COUNCILMAN, ] 
 
 SECOND COUNCILMAN, 
 
 THIRD COUNCILMAN, 
 
 FOURTH COUNCILMAN, J 
 
 COURIER, from the Chief of Police. 
 
 STEIGER, a Farmer. 
 
 Police, Farmers, Populace. 
 
 - of Dingsda. 
 

ACT I, 
 
 AN APARTMENT IN PLETZER'S HOUSE. 
 
 Plktzer. {Reads; stops suddenly.) Pshaw, 
 these stringent times will soon cause my death. 
 A fortnight has elapsed since my fellow-citizens 
 have elected me burgomaster of this thriving 
 little city Dingsda, and I feel very proud of the 
 distinction. Since I am in office I have been 
 thinking of a plan how I could undertake some- 
 thing which would benefit my sixhundred Dingsda 
 friends, and which would make me renowned in 
 all the world.— Just as Macedonia was too small 
 for Alexander the Great, so is Dingsda too small 
 for all ray plans. — Columbus and I, Dingsda and 
 America] — More I need not say. But in spite 
 of this ungrateful world, I will try to become the 
 Columbus of Dingsda and immortalize my name. 
 
— 6 -= 
 
 But how? That's the serious question. i^He 
 meditates; then takes paper and reud^:) 
 
 Krautwinkel, Feb. 25, 1853, 
 
 Fellow-citizens : 
 
 A mass-meeting will be 
 held at the town-hall next Thursday to 
 make plans and accept contributions for 
 the erection of a suitable monument in honor 
 of our distinguished feJlow-companion, the 
 world renowned shoemaker and editor, Col. 
 Flinzer, who for twenty long years edited 
 the Sulsbacher Calendar, and who died 
 recently, leaving his family in destitute 
 circumstances. It now remains, fellow- 
 citizens, for you to show your esteem and 
 veneration for the works and merits of this 
 great Krautwinkler genius. To show our 
 gratitude, it will be advisable to erect a 
 grand monument of sandstone in honor of 
 the deceased, which shall serve as a maik 
 of generosity to our present and future 
 generation. All communications may be 
 addressed to the office of this paper. — 
 
 {Pletzer rises ent/itisiastica/iy} 
 
1 have it ! I have it ! What Krautwinkel can 
 do, Dingsda can more than accomplish. And if 
 the people of Krautwinkel intend to use sand- 
 stone for their statue we will erect one of granite 
 and gain a European fame. The statue must be 
 a life sized one and represent a person on a horse 
 or mule. A beautiful iron fence must surround 
 it. — — ( Walks up and down the stage.) 
 
 Eitter O' Keefe. (Comical Irishman.) 
 O'Keefe. i^Out of breath. He tries to speak?^ 
 
 Pletzbr. O'Keefe. O'Keefe, at last I have 
 found it; I have found \\\ 
 
 O'Keefe.. {Opens his mouth, but can' t utter a 
 
 wora) 
 
 Pletzer. O'Keefe a great thought just 
 entered my mind; we must erect a statue on 
 the market place. 
 
 O'Keefe. { foyfuHy.) That is indeed — a 
 great thought — Lord burgomister. — Yes, we 
 must erect a statue — in Dingsda. — That will 
 make our iiames immortal. {P/etzer bows.) Our 
 names will be recorded in history ; our names 
 will be placed in the cornerstone; yes, all papers 
 will speak and write of us. Hurrah ! 
 
Plktzer. Yes, just think of the honor that 
 will be in store for us ! Our little town will 
 improve ; the statue will attract many strangers ; 
 Dingsda will be chosen as a convention place for 
 artists, tourists, and professors; it will be found 
 necessary to build a railway to our town ; I will 
 be obliged to rebuild my humble inn into a large 
 hotel ; you, O'Keefe, will be the city's professional 
 guide and earn many an extra dollar. — 
 
 O'Kekfe. Lord Pletzer, a great thought also 
 entered my mind, — a thought that seconds and 
 fully coincides with yours,— a thought which will 
 make our town still more famous. 
 
 Pletzer. {Looks 2it him as if to ask a question^ 
 
 O'Keefe. The statue must be made by a 
 native artist ; by an artist born in Dingsda. 
 
 Pletzer. {^Looking doubtfully^ 
 
 O'Keefe. But, Lord Pletzer, are you so 
 forgetful? Don't you recollect that three years 
 ago the young Sevenshoe was sent to Munich, 
 at the expense of our good town, to 
 learn sculpturing? He surely must be far ad- 
 vanced in the art by this time, and can easily 
 gratify our demands. 
 
— 9 - 
 
 Pletzer. Oh yes, I well remember him now* 
 The young Sevenshoe who showed such great 
 talent in drawing; and who went to school with 
 
 my Aloys ; and played so many tricks 
 
 {In thoughts?) Yes, yes, this young Sevenshoe 
 must be recalled. It is now his turn to show 
 his gratitude to our citizens for the great favors 
 shown him. — An excellent idea ! — Yes, yes, a 
 child of Dingsda must make our first statue. — 
 
 O'Keefe. {Bows pleasantly?) 
 
 Pletzer. I shall write to Sevenshoe at once. 
 Ere his arrival, however, I will consult with the 
 town council ; state to them our plans and views, 
 and they will, without doubt, agree with us so 
 that we will be enabled to carry out our intentions 
 without further delay. — I, for my choice, would 
 like the statue to represent a rider sitting on a 
 mule. That would make an immense and novel 
 showing, and cause our Krautwinkel friends to 
 become intensely jealous. 
 
 O'Keefe. Ah, yes, a rider statue! {Speaks 
 hesitatingly.) But, pray tell me, Lord Pletzer, 
 whom shall our statue represent ? 
 
 Pletzer. {At loss.) 
 
 O'Keefe. I mean in whose honor shall we 
 erect the statue ? 
 
=— 10 — 
 
 PlETZER. {Dumfoimded ; but speaks very de- 
 termined.) In whose honor the statue shall be 
 erected, you will learn later. Go, and attend to 
 your business, and withhold our plans from the 
 people until I grant you permission to make 
 them public. Do you hear ? 
 
 O'Keefe. Exit. 
 
 Pletzer. {Sits and meditates.) How can it 
 be possible— to erect a statue and not know for 
 whom or in whose honor. The thought of 
 erecting a monument so enthused my mind that 
 I never thought for whom the same should be 
 made ! This, however, shall not banish my 
 great plans and hopes. No, I will consult the 
 old records of Dingsda where I might be able to 
 find a wise, learned, brave, courageous, pious, 
 and heroic Dingsdaer personage. {Goes to the 
 library.) L,et me see-^my predecessor's name 
 was Huber. I will look for his name {Opens 
 a large book.) H, h, h, where is "h'' anyway ; — 
 ah, here it is! {Reads.) Hair, Horn, Horn, 
 Holber, Huber ; Ah {reads:) Casper Huber, 
 born 29th of February, 1804 at Dingsda; died 
 A. D. 1853. He was a fine shoemaker and a 
 good burgomaster. His wife's name was Anna, 
 Marie, Anas*asia. Kunigunda Huber, ;/<f<? Fuchtel; 
 
— II — 
 
 she had six children, — Joseph Huber — _ -^. 
 
 No, for making shoes we can't erect a statue ; 
 that would be going a little too far. {Turns the 
 leaves of the book and read^) Maeher, Mayer, 
 chimney sweeper of Dingsda — {reads a number 
 of names ifi a scarcely audible tone ) No, this 
 book does not contain a single prominent 
 personage, {lakes another book from the shelf) 
 Twelfth Century. {Opens book; reaas qu-etly; 
 turns the pages rapidly, and casts the book aside) 
 Pshaw ! during the entire tweltth century 
 nothing happened save that an old lady poisoned 
 her husband and was hung for the crime. 
 {Looks at other vohivies ; opens several; reacts 
 softly to himself. Finally, vpo7i ope7iing one book, 
 a paper clipping falls o?it : he picks it up a7id 
 reads :) Ah, what's this! 
 
 Algeria. 
 
 In the decisive battle fmght 
 between the Stranger-legion and tht- Arabs,' 
 a battalion of German farmers fought 
 bravely and heroically. The bravest of the 
 brave was a certain Mr. Schmilt. His 
 heroism actually won the battle. The 
 Stranger-legion was about on the point of 
 surrendering when the said Schmitt, grasp- 
 ing the banner from a dead soldier and 
 
— 12 — 
 
 waving it over his head, led the Legion 
 against the Arabs a second time. The fight 
 which ensued was a terrific one; but the 
 German soldiers with their new leader soon 
 predominated and routed the entire Arabian 
 army. After the battle the heroic Schmitt 
 could nowhere be found, and it is supposed 
 that he was killed in the thickest of the 
 fight and lies buried beneath the ruins. He 
 deserves to be prominently mentioned with 
 the names of Alexander, Washington, and 
 Constantine. — 
 
 {Pietser places his hand on his forehead.) 
 
 How did this paper find its way into this 
 volume? What relation has this great deed 
 with 
 
 {Turns the leaves of a volume and finally reads?) 
 
 Frederick Schmi.t, born November 23, 
 1830, at Dingsda ; was baptized December 2; 
 attended the public school here, but excelled 
 neither in diligence nor in good conduct. 
 * After the completion of his school term he 
 entered into the services of councilman 
 Pletzer as a waiter at the latter's inn. He 
 was soon after promoted to chief cook, but 
 
— 13 — 
 
 for some reason or other he was dismissed 
 from service and mysteriously disappeared 
 from Dingsda. It is supposed that he 
 joined the Stranger- legion and went to 
 Africa. — 
 
 At last I have him ! {Closes book.) At last 
 I found a renowned character who is more than 
 worthy to have a monument erected in his 
 honor! — {Smiling.) Who would have ever 
 dreamt it ; this Schmitt whose sponsor I am ; 
 whom I dismissed for putting too much Spanish 
 pepper in the sauce. He, however, persisted 
 that this Spanish pepper was very healthy, but 
 my guests were not of the same opinion, and 
 many of them complained of feeling ill after 
 each meal. I endeavored to persuade Schmitt 
 to stop using the strong spice, but in vain. 
 Finally I was obliged to discharge him. — Well, 
 well, what singular things come to pass ! I am 
 really the prime cause of all of Schmitt's great 
 deeds of heroism ; for had I not dismissed him 
 from my service, he would not have gone to 
 Africa ; and had he not gone to Africa he would 
 not have become a hero, and no monument 
 would be erected in his honor.— If I had known 
 those days how famous a man Frederick Schmitt 
 would some day be, I surely would not have 
 
— 14 — 
 
 treated him so harshly and forbidden him to 
 play with my son Aloys. Who ever dreamed 
 that Frederick Schmitt would some day become 
 the model for a memorial ! I wonder what 
 Mrs. Brummelberger will say when she learns 
 that her nephew will be so highly honored. — I 
 will go immediately to consult the Town Council 
 regarding the matter, and I am satisfied that my 
 plans and views will receive their favorable 
 consideration. 
 
 {Puts on his coat. Exit.) 
 
 {Calls) O'Keefe, O'Keefe ! {O'Keefe enters) 
 O'Keefe, follow me to the town hall, where I 
 must consult with the Town Council on the 
 statue matter. Right about, face, march ! 
 
 END OF ACT I. 
 
15 
 
 ACT IL 
 
 MARKET PI.ACE IN DINGSDA. 
 
 Pletzer's Inn is on the right side of the street, in 
 
 front of which are small tables and 
 
 several chairs. 
 
 Pletzer is standi?ig i7i the doorway, wearing a 
 long white apron; several councilmen are grouped 
 around him. 
 
 First Councilman. Well, Lord Pletzer, 
 when will the statue be placed upon the pedestal ? 
 
 Second Councilman. How will the unveil- 
 ing be celebrated ? 
 
 Third Councilman. Have you seen the 
 statue already ; is it beautiful ? 
 
— i6 — 
 
 Fourth CounciIvMAn. lyord burgomaster, 
 you have a wise head ; you will become a 
 famous man ; may we ask you for a description 
 of Dingsda's famous work of art? 
 
 PletzEr. {Feels flattered) Oh, gentlemen, 
 dear gentlemen, do not question too much ! Be 
 patient ! I have promised the artist Sevenshoe 
 not to reveal anything, and a man in my stand- 
 ing must keep his promise. The time of the 
 unveiling of the statue will be announced to you 
 in due time ; therefore be patient ! I am the 
 superintendent of the whole undertaking, and 
 believe me, dear gentlemen, the work is in com- 
 petent hands. 
 
 First CounciIvMAn. Excuse me, my Lord, 
 for asking : will the Schmitt monument be made 
 after one of his recent portraits? 
 
 PlETzer. Patience, patience, my dear sub- 
 jects ! Place your confidence in my intelligence. 
 I am doing everything possible to achieve an 
 artistic success for Dingsda, and I will succeed. 
 
 First Councilman. Oh, if only the statue 
 were completed ! I am so anxious to see it ! 
 
 Second Councilman. I hope the weather 
 will be favorable on the unveiling day. 
 
— 17 — 
 
 Third Councilman. Yes, I hope so too. 
 And may the day be very hot, so that the re- 
 freshing beer will flow freely. 
 
 Fourth Councilman. If only the Kraut- 
 winklers will not complete their statue before 
 ours. 
 
 First Councilman. Bah ! These stupid 
 Krautwinklers with their ignorant Flinzer, the 
 almanac maker ! 
 
 Second Councilman. They are foolish for 
 erecting a monument in honor of a crazy book 
 maker. 
 
 Third Councilman. But who dares to call 
 the Dingdaers foolish? A man like Schmitt 
 really deserves more than a monument. He was 
 a second Washington, a second Columbus, a sec- 
 ond Napoleon ! 
 
 Third Councilman. Three cheers for Fritz 
 Schmitt the Great of Dingdsa. Hurrah ! 
 
 {They cheer. The town clock strikes 9.) 
 
 Pletzer. {Rising) Fellow citizens ! {Ap- 
 plause) I have the great honor to notify you 
 that in our to-day's session we will discuss mat- 
 
— 18 — 
 
 ters pertaining to the celebrated Schmitt statue. 
 {Applause) Just wait a moment till I take off 
 my apron and put on my burgomaster coat. I'll 
 return immediately. {Exit) 
 
 (Guests rise. The Councihnen form into groups 
 and discuss matters among themselves. O'Kee/e 
 and Pletzer enter)) 
 
 Pi^ETZER. {Stamps with his cane.) Gentle- 
 men, I now call this meeting to order. 
 
 First Councilman. But where shall we sit 
 down? 
 
 Aiviy. Yes, where shall we sit down ? 
 
 PiyETZER. Silence, you have nothing to say 
 here! Am I not the burgomaster of Dingsda? 
 
 AivL. Yes, yes ! Certainly ! 
 
 Pletzer. Well, then! (Hawks) Fellow- 
 citizens and members of the town council ! 
 Great Applause. 
 
 PleTzER {Loud) Silence I We live in a 
 time — 
 
 All. Very good, very good ! 
 
 Pletzer. If you interrupt me again, I will 
 not say another word ! 
 
Second Councilman. Well, I'm sure we are 
 allowed to say something too ! What are we 
 councilmen for ! 
 
 Pletzer. You may talk as much as you 
 please when I have finished. But I must and 
 will have silence when I am speaking. Do you 
 hear? 
 
 All. Yes, yes ! You are right, Mr. Burgo- 
 master ! He's allright ! {Applause) 
 
 Pletzer. ( Very angry) Silence ! You get 
 me all confused; what was I going to say yet — 
 
 Third Councilman. Pardon me, Mr. Pletzer, 
 but you said something about a speech ! 
 
 All. Yes, a speech, a speech ! 
 
 O'Keefe. Please do me the favor and give 
 us a speech. (^Applause) 
 
 Pletzhr. Potz Donner ! I must have 
 silence ! Who is the king of Dingsda, you or I ? 
 
 All. Pletzer is our king. ( Applause) 
 
 Pletzer. Silence! Fellow- citizens, I herewith 
 open the discussion of the unveiling of the 
 S'^hmitt monument to be erected in Dingsda. 
 OflBcer O'Keefe will now read to you the letter 
 received from the sculptor Sevenshoe. 
 
— 20 — 
 
 O'Keefe. {Has his back turned to the audience 
 and reads) To the wise and esteemed council 
 of Dingsda, Greeting ! 
 
 Great Applause. 
 
 PLtETZer. {Stamping with his cane?) For the 
 third and last time, silence! — Continue, O'Keefe. 
 
 O'Keefe. {Reads.) The undersigned hereby 
 notifies a highly esteemed burgomaster 
 and a wise council, that the Schmitt 
 memorial cannot be finished by next Sunday 
 the 13th, but that four more weeks will be 
 required to complete the great masterpiece. 
 The esteemed council will fully comprehend 
 that such a colossal undertaking which shall 
 adorn the city for ever, ought not be over- 
 hastened. I desire to make for Dingsda a 
 statue, that will excel the finest one on the 
 globe, but in order to do this and to evade 
 all future criticism, I am necessitated to ask 
 for a prolonging of one more month. 
 
 Respectfully, 
 
 Caspar Sevenshoe. 
 
 PlETzer. {After a pause. ) Gentlemen, what 
 remains to be done ? 
 
— 2t — 
 
 FiRS^ CoUNCiivMAN. My opinion is to let 
 the Sevensleeper 
 
 Pi^ET^ER. {Stamps.) Sevenshoe? 
 
 First Councii^man. Oh, I beg pardon, Mr. 
 Pletzer ; I mean Sevenspoon — no Sevencoon — 
 Great Jupiter, what's his name, anyway ? 
 
 All. {Scream.) Sevens/ioeJ 
 
 First CotrNCiLMAN. O, yes, Sevenshoe, — 
 to come at once ; perhaps we can reason with 
 him and induce him to finish the job in two 
 weeks. 
 
 PivETZER. {Angry Speuks to him se //.) 
 Blockhead] That this thought did not enter my 
 mind ere this I 
 
 I'^iRST Councilman, Blockhead 1 Do y o u 
 perhaps mean me, Mr. Pletzer? Or do any of the 
 gentlemen present feel guilty? {A'l shake their 
 •heads?) What, no one has a word to say? — Very 
 well, then I am the blockhead — O'Keefe, put 
 the blockhead in your minutes, 
 
 0'KiiE;^E. {Writes.) 
 
 Pletzer. Silence, silence! I call you to order ! 
 I am the presiding officer of this meeting, and 
 
— 22 — 
 
 everything must go according to my desire- 
 {All grumble) Where is my respect as burgo-* 
 master. Am I the blockhead or the burgomaster? 
 
 All. Fletzer is our burgomaster \ He^s all 
 right ! 
 
 PlETZER. {Shakes handwilh First Cmincilfnan) 
 I beg your pardon for calling you a blockheads 
 But now to business f 
 
 All. Yes, yesy to business, to business f 
 
 PlBTzer. The motion of Councilman Berger 
 to request the artist Sevenshoe to come at once 
 to Dingsda is now brought before the meeting. 
 All in favor of this motion will signify it hf 
 stepping with me to the right. 
 
 {Pletzer gaes to the right. All follow and stamp 
 with their canes.) 
 
 Pletzer. The motion is unanimously 
 accepted. But not to prove that the motion was- 
 fully understood, I req^uest all those who do noi 
 favor the same to go with me to the left side. 
 
 {All follow Pletser to the left.) 
 
 Pletzer. Unanimously rejected!' Now:, 
 gentlemen^ this will not do ! We must csst ^ 
 
Vole pier acclamation : Shall the sculptor 
 Seven shoe be summoned before the council or 
 ^ot? 
 
 Ai.L. Ves, yes ; sure, sure ; certainly ] 
 
 PI.KTZER. O'Keefe, go and seek Sevenshoe, 
 and bring him here. i^O'Keefe exit) Another 
 question to be discussed is : What festivity shall 
 take place in <:onnection with the unveiling of 
 the Schmitt statue. 
 
 First Councilman. I think we ought to in- 
 vite all the emperors and kings of the world \ 
 
 Second Councii^man, And have twenty 
 young ladies dressed in white ! 
 
 Third CoCtncilman. All the school children 
 should sing a national hymn 1 
 
 Fourth Councilman. One million pro- 
 grammes should be printed and scattered all 
 •over the world ! 
 
 First Councilman. Splendid, splendid! I 
 
 think our burgomaster ought to write to the 
 
 President of the United States and ask him to 
 attend ! 
 
 Second Councilman. And all the houses, 
 
— 24 — 
 
 barns, and stables of Dingsda should be decor- 
 ated with flags and bunting ! 
 
 Third Councii^man. And Belstead's Mili- 
 tary Band ought to be engaged ! 
 
 Fourth Councilman. Yes ; and Mr. Pletzef 
 ought to deliver an address of welcome ! 
 
 Plktzer. {^Holds his hands before his eyes and 
 stamps with his Jeet) Silence, silence ! For 
 heaven's sake ! Oh, how my eyes pain me ! I 
 wish the unveiling day was over already. 
 
 {Enter G' Keefe with Setfenshoe.) 
 
 Pletzer. Ah, here you are, my dear Severn- 
 shoe I But now tell me : When will the statue: 
 be completed ? 
 
 All. Yes, yes. When will it be unveiled ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Gentlemen, I am extremely 
 sorry for being obliged to ask your kind indulg- 
 ence, for you readily understand that to completer 
 a work of art requires ample time. I absolutely 
 need more time. 
 
 Pletzer. But, my dear Mr. Sevenshoe, will 
 you not permit me to take at least one glance in 
 your sanctum ? You have up to date not pej^ 
 
--25 — 
 
 mitted atiyone to see the nearly dotnpleted 
 statue ; even I myself, the ruler of Dingsda, have 
 been deprived of this singular honor ; but my 
 patience is now giving out, and I ask you, deaf 
 Mr. Sevenshoe, to permit me to see the wonder^ 
 ful statue, so that 1 may satisfy these dispairing 
 minds and hearts. 
 
 Sevenshoe* {Makes a refusing motion with 
 his hand.) 
 
 PI.ETZKR. Then you should bear in mind that 
 you ought to be grateful towards me for entrust- 
 ing you with a work which is causing your fame, 
 and that 1 can compel you to show me the pro- 
 gress of your undertaking. 
 
 Sevenshoe. I am indeed Very sorry, Lord 
 Burgomaster, for being obliged to disappoint 
 you ; and I must refer you to one point of our 
 contract, which reads \ ''No person shall be per- 
 mitted to see the statue previous to its unveil- 
 ing," for this may cause disastrous results and 
 the complete discouragement of the young 
 artist. 
 
 PtETZiiR. Well, if that's the case, 1 will not 
 molest you ; but I want you to promise me faith* 
 fully to have the statue completed within a fort- 
 
2b -^ 
 
 biglit, as it is impossible for me to defer tke 
 unveiling any longer. 
 
 Seven SHOE. ( Walking np and d'Otvn in medi'i 
 Nation) Well, lUl see what I can do. But yoti 
 Well understand that if I am requested to do a 
 two days' task in one day I must necessarily 
 have more strength '; therefore I request you to 
 give me during the comiUg two weeks daily' 
 Ten extra bottles of beer, four bottles of cham- 
 |)agne, a splendid dinner and supper with chicken 
 and oysters, also some fine imported cigars. Do 
 .you unanimously agree to do this ? 
 
 Ali.. Ves, yes ; we do ! 
 
 Pletzer. Well, Mr. Sevenshoe, if this neW 
 bill of fare will cause you to complete the statue 
 fourteen days earlier, I will also say y-es ! and 
 you may be my constant guest during the coming 
 two weeks. 
 
 Sevenshoe. Good. The bargain then is 
 struck I Here is my hand. ( Pletzer shakes hs 
 'hand.) 
 
 All. Three cheers for Mr. Sevenshoe ! 
 
 ( They cheer and then take Se-venshoe upon theif 
 "shoulders and earry him ucr-oss the stage. Cur- 
 ¥,ai7i.) 
 
 END OF ACT IL 
 
2f 
 
 ACT III 
 
 Market PtAcK in dingsdA. 
 
 Pletzer's Inn is on the right side of the street, iih 
 
 fro7it of zvhich are small tables a7td 
 
 several chaif-s. 
 
 The houses are decorated with flags d?td wreaths^ 
 Crowds of people pass to and fro.) 
 
 O'Keefe. {Enters hastily!) What's the mat-^ 
 ter here ? Leave this place instantly. The 
 assembly of mote than one person is not per- 
 mitted here [ 
 
 {People grumble) 
 
 Steiger {a citiBen) What are you talking 
 about ? The invitation reads that everyone 
 should be present, and that we are allowed tc 
 assemble bere,- 
 
^28 — 
 
 O'Keefe. That's all right I All may assett!" 
 ble, but everyone for himself, not all together* 
 
 {People laugh a?id giggle.) 
 
 BcHAi^STALL {a fatmer) Don't get angry, 
 friend O'Keefe ; we are guests of Dingsda today, 
 therefore you ought not to get angry. But stay, 
 O'lteefe, is the statue beautiful? 
 
 O'Kke^K. I can't tell— no one has ever seen 
 it. But I am informed that the statue excels any 
 upon the world. 
 
 Steiger. Ah, ha ! we are curious to see it I 
 We knew this Schmitt quite Well. 
 
 {Se'Venshoe approaches in the background, 
 O^Ketfe sees him, raises his hat and shouts) 
 
 O'Keei^E. Three cheers for our great Dings- 
 da artist the eminent Sevenshoe — hurrah — 
 again, hurrah — again, hurrah ! 
 
 {People join in and swing their hats) 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Comes forth i)ery modestly and 
 fnakes a bow) I thank you heartily, my dear 
 friends and fellow citizens, {People shout agaiyi) 
 My dear Mr. O'Keefe, have you seen our Burgo- 
 master Pletzer today ? 
 
— 29 — 
 
 O'Kkkfe. He is still at the town hall, but he 
 instructed me to superintend the transportation 
 of the statue on the pedestal. Can it be removed 
 pretty soon, Mr. Sevenshoe ? The unveiling, as 
 you well know, takes place in two hours. 
 
 Sevenshoe. (Gives a deep, despairing sigh.) 
 
 Steiger. Truly, dear sir, it must displease 
 you very much to see so many ignoramuses 
 standing around anxious to see your creation. 
 
 Ai,!.. Unveil it, unveil it ! 
 
 O'Keefe. Dear Sevenshoe, will no one get 
 to see the statue before its unveiling? 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Smilingly shakes his head.) Do 
 not trouble yourself, for all has been attended to. 
 
 Exit amid the cheers of the populace. 
 
 O'Keefe returns to the town halL The people 
 disperse after teasing two policemen^ who run 
 after some boys, and remain behind the scene. A 
 man i7i disguise enters. It is Schmitt. He looks 
 about in amazeme7it. 
 
 Schmitt. What's the matter here? Why 
 these decorated houses ? These flags and 
 buntings. This private box in the middle of the 
 
street? Is to-day the king's birthday? Wait, I 
 will look in my day book. 
 
 He takes a book from his pocket, supports his 
 body on a cane and reads. Seven shoe, not noticing 
 hi?n, passes behhid him, strikes against the cane, 
 and causes Sevens hoe to fail to the ground. 
 
 Seven SHOE. Well, well, you crazy fool, this 
 is no dancing platform, this is a public street. 
 
 ScHMiTT. Oh, beg pardon a thousand times, 
 I did not mean to hurt you ; it was quite acci- 
 dental. But, who is this speaking to me if I 
 may ask ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Aside.) This fellow delights 
 me. I will answer him, he may be of some 
 service to me. {Loud.) I am glad to meet you ; 
 my name is Sevenshoe and I am here on an 
 artistic tour. 
 
 ScHMiTT. Ah well, that is delightful ! So you 
 are a travelling artist? Then you and I are 
 companions. I have been traveling for the past 
 four weeks without a cent of money ; is'nt that 
 an artistic tour? — 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Aside.) I am getting to like 
 this fellow more and more. {Loud.) You 
 
__3i — 
 
 interest me exceedingly, sir. May I ask from 
 whence you came and with what I can serve you ? 
 
 SCHMITT. O my, that is a long, long story. 
 Here, don't you wish to take a seat ? ( Takes off 
 his coat, spreads it upon the floor ^ sits down upon 
 it, and requests Seve7ishoe to sit down also. The 
 latter complies with his wishes.) Now you see, I 
 come direct from Paprica. 
 
 Sevknshob. You mean Africa, I presume: 
 but how in the world did you get there ? 
 
 ScHMiTT. That is a still longer story which I 
 shall endeavor to relate now. But do not inter- 
 upt me, for if you do, I will not utter another 
 word. 
 
 SevenshoE. Well, then, go on ! 
 
 ScHMiTT. Once upon a time there was 
 
 Sevenshoe. O my ! {gaps ) 
 
 ScHMiTT. Pst ! {He relates very emphatically) 
 Once upon a time it happened that I joined the 
 stranger legion and went to Africa. Then I was 
 taken prisoner and made the cook of a sheik. 
 One time it happened that I put too much 
 Spanish pepper in the sauce and this should have 
 caused the death of an Arab. Others learning 
 
— 32 - 
 
 this persecuted me and even sought my life. — 
 I escaped, on my arrival in America 
 
 Pletzer. ( Without) O'Keefe, ha, ha, ha — 
 
 Sevens hoe in the memitime went to sleep and 
 begifis to snore. Schmitt notices this and taps him 
 on the shoulder and tries to wake him, but in vain. 
 The burgomaster's voice is heard in the back of 
 the sce?ie.) 
 
 Pletzer. This is the long sought-for day, 
 O'Keefe ; the greatest one Dingsda -will ever see. 
 
 O'Keefe. You are quite right, Lord Burgo- 
 master ! 
 
 Schmitt. (To himself) Why, that is my 
 friend's voice. I wonder if he still remembers 
 me. What is he talking about at any rate ? 
 
 {Rises, stujnbles over Sevens hoe, who on hearing 
 the noise ?nake a hasty exit. Schmitt, however, 
 remaiyis on the scene to ascertain what Pletzer and 
 O'Keefe are talking about.) 
 
 Pletzer. ( Enters with O'Keefe ) Is the 
 statue on the pedestal already, O'Keefe ? 
 
 O'Keefe. ( Very a7igry) Well, well ; what 
 does Sevenshoe think of anyway? Such a statue 
 
-33- 
 
 can not be placed on a pedestal like a candle 
 upon a table ! 
 
 ( Schmitt approaches the speakers^ 
 
 Pletzer. {To O' Keefe) Go to Sevenshoe 
 and bring him here at once. Do you hear ? 
 
 O'Keefe. I go, my lord. {Gives salute to 
 Pletzer, and in making a military turn he collides 
 with Schmitt, and cries) Be Gorrah ! Get oflf 
 the earth, you fool ! 
 
 Schmitt. ( Trembling.) 
 
 Pletzer. Make haste, O'Keefe ! 
 
 O'Keefe. {To Schmitt) How did you get 
 here j^ou good-for-nothing rascal ? You seem to 
 be a hard case ! Did you hear me ? 
 
 PivETZER. {Impatient) Well, well, O'Keefe, 
 make haste and bring young Sevenshoe before 
 me. 
 
 O'Keefk. {Staring at Schmitt) I'll keep an 
 eye on you — take care. Have your papers ready 
 by the time I return ! 
 
 Pletzer. {Angry) Will you get now ! 
 
 O'Keefe. I go at once ! {Looks afigrily at 
 Schmitt till he is off the stage.) 
 
— 34 — 
 
 SCHMITT. {Recovering from his fright ap- 
 proaches and addresses Pletzer) Excuse me, dear, 
 esteemed sir, you are celebrating a great festival 
 today, I presume ? 
 
 PlKTzkr. Well, well ; you must indeed have 
 come a great distance if you don't know anything 
 about it. 
 
 ScHMiTT. Yes — indeed — I — I came from a 
 great distance — and will you be so kind and tell 
 me what celebration takes place here today ? 
 
 PivKTzER. The reigning burgomaster, whom 
 you behold before you {very dig7iijied), will today 
 unveil a statue erected in honor of a Dingsda 
 child. The unveiling takes place at 12 o'clock. 
 
 SCHMITT. {Astonished) A statue ! A Dingsda 
 child ! And pray tell me, who was this heroic 
 child? 
 
 P1.HTZKR. The celebrated Schmitt. 
 
 SCHMITT. Schmitt! Schmitt! What Schmitt? 
 
 PivKTZER. ( Very tragic) There is but one 
 Schmitt of Dingsda. Who ever would have 
 thought of it, my dear friend ! Why, I chased 
 him away for always putting red pepper into the 
 
— 35 — 
 
 sauce. After leaving Dingsda he joined the 
 Stranger-legion and went to Africa — 
 
 ScHMiTT. Hm, hm ! {Coughs. Aside) Great 
 heavens, why I am that Schmitt ; how is it pos- 
 sible that they erect a statue in my honor, for I 
 am still among the living, 
 
 Pletzer. {Aside) My statements must have 
 made a deep impression on the stranger. {Loud 
 to Schmitt) And this Schmitt breathed his last 
 on the burning sands of Algeria ! 
 
 Schmitt. {Aside) Ah, ha ! so I am con- 
 sidered dead ! But I can't understand why the 
 people want to erect a statue in my honor. 
 
 PivETzER. {Interrupting) And in remem- 
 brance of his great deeds, we will today unveil a 
 rider statue in his honor ; but since the horse 
 would have cost too much we concluded to erect 
 only the rider's figure. 
 
 Schmitt. {Shaking his head dotibtful/y) But 
 — if I am permitted to ask — what did this re- 
 nowned Schmitt do at any rate to receive such 
 distinction ? 
 
 Pletzer. He performed the noblest deeds of 
 bravery ; he excited the greatest admiration 
 
-36- 
 
 throughout Europe ; he fought until the last for 
 the sake of civilization ; he — 
 
 ScHMiTT. (^Aside) This is very good. They 
 mean, undoubtedly, my collegian Schmid, from 
 Krautwinkel, whose name ends in d. 
 
 PlkTzer. What are you saying ? Are those 
 not splendid deeds ? 
 
 ScHMiTT. {Smiling) Exceedingly splendid ! 
 Exceedingly splendid ! And how about the 
 statue ; is it already completed ? 
 
 Plktzer. {Do7ibtfuliy.{ Well, if the same 
 shall be unveiled at 12 o'clock it surely must be 
 completed. But these artists are queer fellows. 
 Just think of it ! Our artist, a man by the name 
 of Sevenshoe, also a child of Dingsda, would not 
 allow anyone, for the past ten months, to view 
 his creation ; not even me, the political head of 
 this great city. 
 
 ( The town-clock strikes eleven) 
 Pletzer. {Aroused) Eleven o'clock already! 
 ( Wipes the perspiration from his brow) Eleven 
 o'clock, and O'Keefe has not yet returned. It 
 seems as though I am betrayed and kept for a 
 fool. Pardon me, my dear sir ; I am obliged 
 ;o leave you now, for I will be very busy during 
 
— 37 — 
 
 the next hour. First of all I must find young 
 Sevenshoe, therefore farewell. Or do you desire 
 to accompany me ? You may stop at my hotel, 
 "Hotel of the Golden Ox," a first class house 
 with a fine location to view the unveiling ; well, 
 vshall we go ? 
 
 ScHMiTT. With the greatest of pleasure, Lord 
 Governor. 
 
 They cross to the hotel opposite arm in arm. 
 Aloys runs to meet his father. 
 
 P1.KTZER. {To Aloys) Aloys, have you seen 
 Mr. Sevenshoe ? 
 
 Ai,OYS. No, father, I have not seen him to- 
 day. You know he very seldom comes early, 
 since we tap the first keg of beer at noon. 
 
 Pletzer. {Angry) What ! You have not 
 seen him today yet ! And O'Keefe does not re- 
 turn ! Well, I guess I'll have to go and look for 
 them. {Is about to depart when he turns sud- 
 denly) Aloys, I nearly forgot to tell you. This 
 stranger wishes a room toward the front, and a 
 good breakfeast. You may also prepare for him 
 for dinner. ( Whispers to Aloys) The gentle- 
 man comes from a great distance and is traveling 
 
-38- 
 
 incognito. {To Schmitt) Farewell, niy deaf sir? 
 
 {Exit) 
 
 Aloys. {Aside) This is a nice incognito 1 I 
 will ask him a few questions. {Loud) Please 
 take a seat. You come from a great distance, I 
 presume. 
 
 Schmitt. {Boies assent) 
 
 Aloys. You just came in due time to take 
 active part in today's great festival. Poor 
 Schmitt I 
 
 Schmitt. You surely feel sad over the fate 
 of Schmitt. 
 
 Aloys. Indeed, I do. We grew tip together;; 
 that is, he was grown up already when I was- 
 born. He liked me very much, and used to tell? 
 me beautiful staries and give me fine cakes and 
 eatables — for be was our nurse-girl, cook, cham- 
 bermaid, hostler, porter, baker, scrub- and wash- 
 woman, and everything else. O, how I long to^ 
 see his face once more. 
 
 Schmitt, (To24ched) This will please poor 
 Schmitt very much if be hears of it. 
 
 Aloys. How ? What do you say ? He died 
 a long time ago. Did you know him t 
 
^39- 
 
 ScHMiTT. Why, he was my best friend. 
 
 AloVs. Then you must have been with him 
 in Africa! O, please tell me something about 
 him. 
 
 ScHMiTT. 1 will tell you all after breakfast. 
 But permit me to state that he spoke very highly 
 of you and your father. He often told me that 
 he loved you as well as he did his ov^n brother, 
 
 Aloys. (Takes Schrditt by th€ hand) O, then 
 you must be my friend and I will instruct my 
 father to treat you royally. Poor Mrs. Brummel- 
 berger ! She surely would have died much 
 •easier had she only heard one word from her 
 lamented nephew. 
 
 ScHMiTT. What? Mrs. Brummelberger dead? 
 
 Aloys. Yes, sir! She died, leaving her 
 •entire estate to Hans Schmitt. But, alas, the 
 poor fellow departed this life without enjoying 
 these earthly treasures, 
 
 Schmitt. (Trmmphantly) Hurrah, hurrah ! 
 Mrs. Brummelberger is dead! {Stops siidde^ily) 
 Lord have mercy on her poor soul ! 
 
 Aloys. {Astonished.) Well, well, why are 
 you jubilant? What inter-ests you so much sir? 
 
— 40 — 
 
 Is it perhaps the death of Mrs. Brummelberger ? 
 You are not 
 
 SCHMITT. {Takes Aloys' hand) Why certainly 
 I am. Who else. Don't you know — {At this 
 juncture Pletzer calls in back of scene: O' Keefe ! 
 aKeefe!) 
 
 SCHMITT. {Lets go of Aloys' hand and runs 
 towards the housed Will you please serve my 
 breakfast now ? 
 
 A1.0YS. {Aside) I cannot understand this 
 person. {Bewildered) 
 
 Exit: 
 
 PlETzkr. {Enters, holding O'Keefe by the coat 
 collar) Where have you been loafing about? I 
 have been searching for you for the past hour ! 
 Where is young Sevenshoe? Did you find him? 
 Speak, or I will break your right leg ! 
 
 O'Keefe. I could not find Sevenshoe any- 
 where. The whole affair looks very suspicious 
 to me. 
 
 P1.ETZER. {Lets go of O'Keefe) What do you 
 mean to say? Express yourself more clearly. 
 Speak ! 
 
— 41 — 
 
 O'Kkefb. Listen ! As I passed the town-hall 
 in search of Sevenshoe, I met a soldier who was 
 sent by the king. "O'Keefe," said he, in a very 
 excited tone of voice, " a suspicious looking 
 individual is loafing about this town. I am sent 
 by the Royal chief of police to notify all guardi- 
 ans of the peace to be on the alert and arrest all 
 suspicious looking characters on sight." Then 
 he spurred his horse and hastily departed. 
 
 Pi^KTZER. Well, what has this to do with 
 young Sevenshoe ? 
 
 O'Keefe. Nothing at all. I don't refer to 
 him ! 
 
 Pletzer. Well, whom do you refer to then, 
 you blockhead ! 
 
 O'Keefe. Thanks for the compliment. I 
 refer to the person with the long beard. 
 
 {Aloys appears at the door) 
 
 Pletzer. {To Aloys) Where is the stranger, 
 Aloys ? 
 
 Aloys. He is eating his breakfast, father ! 
 
 O'Keefe. ( Runs toward the door ) Ah, ha, 
 I'll make him show his papers. 
 
PtETZKR. {Holds O'Keefe by the coat tail) 
 O'Keefe, don't arrest him until he has paid for 
 his breakfast! Do you understand? 
 
 O'itKEi^E. Allright, tord Pletzer. But I will 
 go in and watch him closely. {Exit in house) 
 
 I'leT^ER- I am almost frantic ! Young 
 Sevenshoe has been seen nowhere ! What re- 
 mains to be done? l^he only course left open 
 for me is to force the door leading to. his studio. 
 
 AloVs. But, father, you know that he has 
 expressly forbidden for any one to enter his 
 studiO) therefore you better wait a few moments; 
 perhaps he will come. 
 
 {Sevenskoe eyiters thoughtlessly hut recedes 
 upon beholding Pletzer) 
 
 Pletzer. No, no, t can*t wait any longer, 
 ta half an hour the unveiling shall take place, 
 and it would be a great wrong to disappoint the 
 assembled people. Adieu, Aloys ! I will cause 
 the door to be burst open and order the statue to 
 be placed upon the pedestal. {Exit) 
 
 {Sei)enshoe again enters, makes a nose a( 
 Pletzer y arid 2imlks towards Aloys) 
 
- 43 - 
 
 AtOvSi. My God, Mr. Sevenshoe, where haVe 
 you been all morning. My father has been 
 looking for 5'ou \ he Just left this motnent 5 
 hasten, and you will yet catch him* 
 
 Sevenshoe^ O dear youg Plet^er, 1 can't run 
 after your father, for a great secret burdens my 
 heart ; will you not aid me ? 
 
 A1.0YS. A secret ? I shall aid you ? Why, 
 nian you are talking nonsence or else jesting. 
 
 Sevenshoe. No, no, dear Aloys, I am not 
 talking nonsecse nor am I jesting. Oh I am in 
 a terrible predicament— I oweyour father so much. 
 
 Ai^OYS. Be calms my dear sir; you owe my 
 father nothing ! He, in fact, owes you a great 
 deal for making the statue. 
 
 Sevenshoe. O Aloys, have mercy on one 
 who is given to despair. 
 
 AloVs. (Aside) Well, now, this is a nice 
 how-d'-do ! I wonder what ails him anyway^ 
 {Loud) Mr. Sevenshoe, please tell me what is 
 marring your happiness on this great festive day ? 
 Have you perhaps received bad news ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Bear with me, dear Aloys, 
 whilst I speak, and do not judge me too severely, 
 
— 44 — 
 
 You will remember that when I attended school 
 at the old log cabin, back of your father's farm, I 
 was so fascinated with drawing that my teacher 
 told me that I had great genius and ought to 
 devote all my spare time in cultivating this art. 
 I did so, and my drawings were eagerly sought 
 by all the pupils at the oid school. 
 
 Aloys V'es, I know that, Mr. Sevenshoe; for 
 do you remember the picture you drew repre- 
 senting Moses in the bullrushes ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Yes, quite well 
 
 Ai,OYS. Well, that picture is now in my pos- 
 session, and adorns the wall of my bedroom. 
 But, Mr. Sevenshoe, what have these drawings to 
 do with your sadness? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Very much, dear Aloys. For 
 when I left school I was engaged by Mr. Dauber, 
 the painter, and worked at his studio as an ap- 
 prentice for some time, but received no pay. 
 This caused me to give up my position — and 
 then my misfortune began. Oh, do not judge 
 me too severely after you have heard my tale — 
 
 Aloys. Go on, Mr. Sevenshoe. 
 
 Sevenshoe. Well, Aloys, I will tell you all. 
 
— 45 — 
 
 — You know that some time ago I was sent to 
 Munich, at the city's expence, to learn the art of 
 sculptoring 
 
 . Aloys. Well, well, and 
 
 Sevenshoe. Well, I can't say that I lost all 
 my time, but instead of learning the art of 
 sculpturing I spent most of my time in playing 
 billiards and poker. 
 
 Aloys. Then you did not learn the sculptor's 
 art ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Sadly) No, I know nothing of it. 
 
 Aloys. And how about the statue? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Alas ! I have none to show. 
 
 Aloys. Why, Sevenshoe. you art- a fraud ! 
 
 Sevenshoe. Well, just as you say. 
 
 Aloys. I never thought that you were so 
 impertinent. By your actions you have not only 
 deceived my father but the entire city of Dingsda. 
 
 Sevenshoe. Pardon me, Aloys, but I must 
 say that I did not deceive the city ; I only 
 promised in my contract to fu^uish a statue, not 
 to make one and was always in hopes that some 
 
-46- 
 
 day one might be found, but, alas, none has yet 
 turned up. 
 
 Aloys. {Meditatmg) But, pray tell me, how 
 can I be of assistance to you ? 
 
 Skvenshoe. Very easily. You knew Schmitt, 
 my supposed model quite well, in fact, you 
 resemble him greatly. Perhaps you can find 
 some of his old clothes and put them on 
 
 {Aery ^/ " Help, Help" is heard from 
 
 t/ie hotel. A/oj's a?td Sevenshoe listen; 
 
 Doors are heard slammed; chairs a?id 
 
 tables are upset, dishes and glasses 
 
 broken ; foot steps are heard, 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Bezvildered) Please, Aloys, 
 consider the matter and save me ! I will bear 
 all responsibilities. {Exit to back of scene) 
 
 Schmitt. {Enters upon the scene screaming. 
 He has been ordered out of the hotel by O'Keefe) 
 Save me, dear Aloys, save me ! 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Peeps from behind the scene and 
 sees Schmitt?) 
 
 Aloys. {To Schmitt) Have you finished 
 your breakfast already ? 
 
— 47 -- 
 
 ScHMiTT. {Excited) No, no, that's just what 
 worries me the most. As I was enjoying my 
 breakfast, the police sergeant came in, took a 
 seat opposite mine, and watched me intently. 
 All of a sudden he sprang to his feet like a 
 maniac ; caught me by the coat-collar and began 
 abusing me. I jumped up and hit him in the 
 face with my egg-cup which stunned him. This 
 gave me an opportunity of running out of doors. 
 But this wild man may appear at any moment 
 and arrest me; therefore save me, dear friend 
 save me ! 
 
 AivOYS. But, sir, are you a criminal ? 
 
 SCHMITT. {Takes off his false bcaj-d) No, no, 
 I am Schmitt ! 
 
 Aloys. What ! Is it possible? You are — 
 
 Schmitt. Hans Schmitt of Dingsda, and 
 come direct from Africa. 
 
 Aloys. Great heavens ! But, pray tell me, why 
 are you a criminal ? 
 
 Schmitt. In a very innocent way. Soon 
 after joining the Stranger- Legion in Africa, I was 
 taken prisoner and then made cook of a sheik. 
 One time it happened that I put too much 
 
- 48- 
 
 Spanish pepper in the sauce and this should have, 
 caused the death of an Arab. Others, learning 
 this, persecuted me and even sought my life. I 
 escaped. On my arrival in America I learned 
 that word had been received from Arabian head- 
 quarters to arrest me. Police officer O'Keefe 
 tried to do so ; he is still in the hotel, but may 
 appear on the scene at any moment, and then 
 "farewell" dear Hans. 
 
 While Aloys extends to him his hand Sevenshoe 
 rushes forward and pulls Schmitt away. 
 
 Aloys. {Excited) What are you doing, Mr. 
 Sevenshoe ; surely you do not intend to betray 
 this unhappy man ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. No, indeed ; just the contrary. 
 
 Schmitt. {Astonished) You are very kind, 
 dear sir, but - 1- I - do not quite understand 
 
 Sevenshoe. Follow me, and I will lead you 
 to a place where neither police nor detectives 
 will ever discover you. Come, come, make 
 haste. 
 
 {He takes Schmitt by the hand. The 
 latter follows relucta?itly ) 
 
— 49 — 
 
 Aloys {Alone) Well, well, this proceeding 
 really dumbfounds me. I wonder what he in- 
 tends to do with poor Hans ! I almost believe 
 that Mr. Sevenshae has lost his reason ! Perhaps 
 he intends to betray vSchmitt and thereby save 
 himself. 
 
 Paces up and down shaking his head doubt- 
 fully. Pletzer enters, out of breath and 
 bewildered. 
 
 Aloys. My God, father, what has happened? 
 
 Plktzer. Get away from me, Aloys ; I've got 
 the hydrophobia ! Oh, that confounded, good- 
 for nothing Sevenshoe ! If only the rats would 
 eat him : 
 
 Aloys. {Pretending) Why, father, what has 
 happened ? 
 
 Pletzer. I just came from Sevenshoe's work- 
 shop. I had the door broken open ! And found 
 no sculptor and no statue ! 
 
 Aloys. {Preie?iding) And nothing else ? 
 
 Pletzer. (Angry) And nothing else? Is 
 that not enough? What shall I tell the people ? 
 In twenty minutes the unveiling is supposed to 
 
— 50 — 
 
 take place ! Oh, donner und blitzen ; what shall 
 I do ; what shall I do ! 
 
 Paces up and down pulling his hair. O'Keefe 
 rushes madly otit of the hotel. 
 
 Pletzer. O'Keefe, where is young Seven- 
 shoe ? Have you seen the swindler ? 
 
 O'Keefe. What does young Sevenshoe con- 
 cern me? I am looking for the other fellow — 
 the fellow with the beard ! I can assure you, 
 Lord Pletzer, he is a criminal of the worst type- 
 I will have no rest until I bring him behind the 
 bars. 
 
 Pletzer. What do I care for the man with 
 the beard ? Bring me the sculptor ; bring forth 
 the statue, and I will reward you richly. 
 
 O'Keefe. ( still speaking of Schmitt) I 
 noticed the first time I saw him that he was an 
 escaped criminal, but, just as I say, I'll find him, 
 and then look out, look out ! 
 
 Aloys exit. Pletzer aiid O'Keefe are very 
 excited; they pace up and down. Seven- 
 shoe ejiters unconcernedly a?id crosses 
 the stage. Pletzer is dumb 
 founded; finally he pushes 
 O' Keefe agaiyist Sev- 
 enshoe 
 
-~5i — 
 
 Pletzer. In the name of the law, arrest that 
 man ! 
 
 Seven SHOE. {Smiling) You desire to arrest 
 me, Lord Pletzer ! What for, my dear sir? 
 
 PletzeR' ( Taking out his watch and holding 
 it under Sevenshoe s nose) Tremble, wretch ; 
 tremble ! Only ten minutes of twelve 1 I come 
 from your workshop ! 
 
 Sevenshoe. (Smiling) And, pray tell me, 
 what did this visit reveal ? 
 
 Pletzer. I looked for the Schmitt statue ! 
 
 Sevenshoe. Why, I am really sorry that you 
 have troubled yourself in vain. My statue went 
 out for a walk ; it went out to get good and dry. 
 
 Pi.ETZER> ( Very excited) Sir, do you think 
 you can keep me for a fool? 
 
 Sevenshoe. I don't intend to do anything of 
 the kind. {Pretends to be sad) No, no ; I never 
 thought that I would receive such treatment on 
 the very day on which I am to present my 
 native city a work of art of my own creation. 
 
 Pletzer. {Astonished) Speak ; what do you 
 mean ? I don't quite understand. 
 
— 52 — 
 
 Sevknshoe. You know, without doubts 
 something about "synkocrasy"? 
 
 PlETzer. {Look very wise) Why, certainly. 
 {Hawks) But I would be pleased to hear your 
 opinion of it. 
 
 SevENSHOE. {Very dignified) Synkocrasy 
 is that process which gives marble such a natural 
 aspect and color that nature itself could not make 
 it appear more human. 
 
 PlETzER. Meditates for a brief time; then 
 speaks excitedly) Nonsense, nonsense ; you are 
 only keeping me for a fool. I ask you now for 
 the last time : Where is the statue ? 
 
 SevEnshoe. {Seemingly insulted) Why, it 
 is where it belongs. 
 
 Plet^er. On its pedestal ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Why, most assuredly ; where 
 else could it be ? 
 
 PiyETZER. Then prove it to me this very 
 instant ! Come with me and show me the 
 statue ? I will not believe you until I have 
 seen it. 
 
— 5i — 
 
 SkVENshoe. I will show it to you with the 
 greatest of pleasure. Why, I have been looking 
 for you everywhere in order to get your opinion 
 of the statue ere its unveiling. Come, follow me i 
 
 {Esiii arm in arm.) 
 
 BND OF ACT IIL 
 
S4 — 
 
 ACT IV. 
 
 Opeji place m Dings da. Street background. In 
 the center is a pedestal enclosed by curtains. On 
 this pedestal stands Schmitt, without beard, 
 and his face well powdered. He is attired 
 171 a white costume, holding hi his right 
 hand a large spoon. Sevenshoe is lean- 
 ing against the pedestal and is smil- 
 ing. Pletzer holds the curtain of 
 tent apart so that the audience 
 gets a view of the iyiterior. 
 Pletzer and C Keefe gaze 
 upon the statue in 
 amazement. 
 
 PivETZER. Donner und blitzen, what a fine 
 likeness of our hero Schmitt ! 
 
 Skvknshoe. {Makes a complimentary bow). 
 
 Pletzer. Especially the right leg and arm* 
 His face is also very good. 
 
— 55 — 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Seniles and holds his handker- 
 chief before his J ace ^ 
 
 O'Kekfk. {Looks wildly at the statue.) 
 
 Pi^ETZER. But what a peculiar costume you 
 gave him ! I'm sure you don't call that dress a 
 soldier's uniform ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. Most assuredly ! That is the 
 uniform of the soldiers of the Stranger Legion — 
 all white on account of the severe heat in Africa, 
 
 Pletzer. Remarkable ! Why, the costume 
 looks for all the word like the dress of a serv- 
 ant — white coat, white pants, white apron, white 
 cap. And what a peculiar weapon he holds in 
 his hand ! Why, it looks more like a frying-pan 
 than like a yatagan. 
 
 Sevenshoe. Indeed it does, for the African 
 weapons have a very striking resemblance to our 
 kitchen utensils. But, My Lord, I would be 
 pleased to ascertain whether you are satisfied 
 with my efforts. 
 
 PivETZER. I am perfectly pleased with the 
 statue, and herewith congratulate you. {Shakes 
 his hand) At the dinner to be given at the town 
 hall I will express my feeling in more appropri- 
 
- 56 - 
 
 ate words. I must now hasten to put on another 
 coat and tie before the unveiling begins. Good 
 bye! Come along, O'Keefe. 
 
 O'Keefe. {Stares at the statue). 
 
 Pletzer. Don't you hear me, O'Keefe; you 
 should follow me. (Angry.) 
 
 O'KEEFii. {Gives the statue an enraged glance, 
 ihc7i follozvs Pletzer hesitatingly) 
 
 ScHMiTT. {After Pletzer ayid O'Keefe are off) 
 O, God be praised that they are gone ! I could 
 not have stood still much longer. That con- 
 founded O'Keefe made me nervous. 
 
 Shvenshoe. Well, make yourself comfort- 
 able now, my dear Schmitt, and gain new 
 strength and courage for the unveiling, so that 
 you will not make a botch of the whole affair. 
 
 ScuMiTr. I'll promise that I'll do my very 
 best, and if the affair does not last too long my 
 services will be gratis. 
 
 Sevenshoe. Adieu, noble 'work of art." 
 We shall soon meet again. Farewell until the 
 unveiling. {Closes the curtai?i and advances 
 toward the hotel, but 7S intercepted by Aloys). 
 
- 57 — 
 
 Aloys. Ah, did I find you at last ; tell me 
 immediately : What did you do with Schmitt ? 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Smiting) I petrified him ; 
 that is, turned him into marble. 
 
 Aloys. Leave your jokes aside, Sevenshoe. 
 I must know where my friend Schmitt is at once, 
 or else I will reveal all I know ! 
 
 Sevenshoe. {After some hesitmicy) Well, 
 if you insist upon seeing him then follow me. 
 
 Takes Aloys behi)id the curtain. Schmitt 
 is standing motio7iless on the pedes- 
 tal as doth enter. 
 
 Aloys. {Shrieks, then calls to Schmitt) Well, 
 well, so he has hidden you here ! 
 
 ScHMiTT. And is not the attitude I am re- 
 quested to assume a peculiar one ? 
 
 Aloys. Well. I should say so. I am positive 
 the people will detect this is not a monument. 
 
 Shvenshoe. Oh, no, my dear Aloys ; my 
 statue has already stood a severe test ; your 
 father nearly went into ecstacy on beholding my 
 wonderful statue. 
 
 Aloys. {Shakes his head doubtfully) 
 
-58- 
 
 Skvenshoe. ( With kindness to Aloys) ''The 
 moment decides over the life of man and over 
 his aptness," says Goethe. Reflect upon the 
 truth of this inspired enunciation, and make it 
 the rule of all your undertakings. Dear Aloys, 
 my fate rests in your hands. Solicit for me the 
 pardon of your father for my fraudulent trick, 
 and you shall have the |^2,ooo reward which the 
 state offers to the person who will cause the 
 apprehension and arrest of this criminal and 
 murderer. {Poijits to Schmitt.) 
 
 ScHMiTT. {From pedestal) Don't do it, 
 dearest Aloys ; don't do it ! 
 
 Skvenshok. Do not listen to the pleadings 
 of this lifeless statue ; it is a mere humbug. 
 
 Schmitt. Don't let me hear any more of 
 your insulting remarks, Mr. Sevenshore, or else 
 this lifeless statue will give you a sample of its 
 strength. {Makes Jists.) 
 
 Skvenshoe. You have nothing to say, you 
 good-for nothing rascal ; you murderer ; you — 
 
 Schmitt. {Very angry) Now, that's just 
 enough ! 
 
— 59^ 
 
 {Smith throws the spoon or pan aside ; 
 jwnps from the pedestal and fights 
 with Sevenshoe. Aloys tries to 
 part them. Schmitt gives 
 a sudden scream and 
 runs in the back- 
 ground. 
 
 AtOYS AND Sevenshoe. What's the matter ? 
 
 Schmitt. {Hold his nose) Oh, I got a severe 
 blow on my nose I See how it is bleeding ! 
 {Weeps). 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Excited) Oh, this is fateful ! 
 I have destroyed my own work of art 
 
 ( Voices are heard without). 
 
 Aloys. List ! That is my father's voice 1 I 
 must hide myself. Help yourself as well as you 
 <:an. {Exit in back of scene). 
 
 {Pletser enters. Sevenshoe stands at the 
 entrance of the tent holding the cur- 
 tain so that Pletzer cannot see 
 the supposed statue). 
 
 Pletzer. In a few moments the unveiling 
 will begin. Mr. Sevenshoe you will stand be- 
 side the statue, so that the people may also be- 
 
_6o — 
 
 hold the artist. Now I will deliver my address. 
 When I say in fiery tones : "Behold our hero 
 Schmitt," you will let the curtain drop, and the 
 people will shout and hail. 
 
 Sevenshoe. Very welly my lord, all is ready* 
 You may begin your address. 
 
 ( The tow7i clock chimes 12. Part of Or- 
 chestra comes on stage and plays. 
 People come from all sides. 
 O'Keefe and other officers 
 are busy keepiyig back 
 the crowd) . 
 PivETZER. {Standing on a box, searches all his 
 pockets) My goodness, I've lost my address. 
 O'Keefe, O'Keefe you speak ; I am all confused. 
 
 O'Keefe. Three cheers for Lord Pletzer, our 
 burgomaster. Hurrah ! Hurrah !! Hurrah !!f 
 {All cheer. Musicians cheer ; no music). 
 
 ( The statue is unveiled. Schmitt again 
 poses 071 the pedestal, but his back 
 turned toward the audience. Cheer- 
 ing is heard from all sides. Plet- 
 zer and O'Keefe are co7ifou7id 
 ed and are scaring at Schmitt 
 who holds his handker- 
 chief before his nose. 
 
- 6i - 
 
 PlvETZER. {^After some deliberation) Why, 
 how is this. Mr. Sevenshoe ? Before, as you 
 showed us the statue, its face looked toward the 
 east, and now it is looking west. 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Smiling) Why, Lord Pletzer, 
 that is a secret joke of mine. I have, namely, 
 arranged a turn table on the pedestal so that the 
 statue can be turned at pleasure. 
 
 Pletzer. Ha, ha, ha ! That's very practical 
 indeed. But what caused you to turn its back 
 toward the audience at its first unveiling ? 
 
 Sevenshoe Because I wish to surprise them 
 all the more afterward. 
 
 Pletzer. {Impatieiit) Well, you better turn 
 the statue now, I think it is the highest time. 
 
 Sevenshoe. {Embarrassed) The cheering 
 of the back view has not yet subsided. Lord 
 Pletzer, so we had better wait until we have 
 gained the entire success of the one side ere we 
 expose the other ; are you not of the same 
 opinion my dear sire ? 
 
 Pletzer. Very well, just as you think best. 
 But I for myself want to gaze once more upon 
 the interesting face of my idol. 
 
_62 — 
 
 (//<? walks around the stahie, but Schmiti 
 
 turns just as Pletzer walks, so that 
 
 his back is always turned to 
 
 ward the latter). 
 
 PivETZER Ah, ha ; now he is turning. That's 
 Wonderful ! That's wonderful ! 
 
 ( When Schmitt {the statue)^ faces the 
 
 populace they scream, laugh and cheer. 
 
 At this instance Sevenshoe trips 
 
 Pletzer^ who falls to the floor. 
 
 The artist? then quickly closes 
 
 the curtain. The people 
 
 scream at the top of their 
 
 voices, and want to take 
 
 the statue by storm; 
 
 suddenly a coiirier 
 
 enters with a 
 
 telegram. 
 
 Courier. Where is Burgomaster Pletzer? 
 t have an important telegram for him. 
 
 {Pletzer steps forward, takes the message 
 and reads it in a subdued tone). 
 
 People. {Crowd around Pletzer and shout) 
 Read aloud ! Read ! Read ! 
 
-63- 
 
 {In the meayitime Sevenshoe is trying to 
 
 make his escape, but is detained by 
 
 some bystanders. After Pletzer 
 
 has read a few lines he 
 
 drops the message and 
 
 stares upon the 
 
 floor. 
 
 Aloys. What's the matter father ? Are 
 3'ou ill ? 
 
 Pletzer. O misery, misery ! Our rejoicing 
 turns into deep sorrow ! 
 
 People. How so ? What's the matter ? Is 
 some one dead ? Perhaps the Prince of Wales ? 
 
 Pletzer. {A?igry) No, no ; nobody is dead ! 
 That's the trouble — he lives, he livts ! 
 
 People. Who lives, who, who ! The Prmce 
 of Wales ? 
 
 Pletzer. No, no ; the good ibr-nothing 
 Schmitt ! 
 
 O'Keefe. Why, that must be a mistake ! It 
 can't be possible ! 
 
 People. Read, read ! 
 
 Pletzer. {Reads) From the Chief of Police : 
 
-64- - 
 
 "It has been discovered that the vagabond 
 of whom I have already notified the guard- 
 ians of the peace is a certain Frederick 
 Schmitt of Dingsda. He has been seen by 
 some persons strolling through the streets 
 of your city with a false beard as a disguise, 
 for he has been accused of poisoning a man, 
 and on that account his arrest is demanded.'' 
 
 O'Kekfe. ( foyi ully) I have it ! I have it ! 
 
 {Forces hrs way into the tent). 
 
 Pletzer. He is not dead — and I had a statue 
 erected in his honor ! Oh, that is awtul ; that is 
 terrible ! But I must have my revenge, my 
 revenge ! 
 
 {He grasps the cane of o?ie of the bystanders ; 
 gives the te7it a push — it falls. Schmitt, 
 however, had previously escaped in the 
 background. Pletzer is dunibfouyided, 
 and staiids i?i a ^nationless attitude 
 with his cane uplifted. The peo- 
 ple are amazea and shout. Noise 
 is heard in the background. 
 O'A'eeJe inters having 
 Schmitt by the coat col- 
 lar. 7' hey go to the 
 for eg round. 
 
65- 
 
 Pkople. There's the statue 1 There's the 
 statue ! 
 
 O'Keefk. Yes ; a nice statue ! It is Schmitt 
 of Dingsda ; the same rascal who used to be 
 cook at Lord Pletzer's hotel. 
 
 Pletzer. (Angry) Wretch, why did you 
 not die in Africa ! Now you will end your mis- 
 erable existtnce on the gallows. Here, read 
 this. 
 
 {Gives Schmitt the telegram.) 
 
 Schmitt. {Trembling, and acts very much 
 frightened. He reads the message to himself., 
 then brightens up and looks courageous). 
 
 People. What's the matter ? What's the 
 matter ? 
 
 . Pletzer. {Takes the letter out of Schmitfs 
 hands) Let me see, I forgot to read the closing 
 lines. 
 
 {Reads). 
 
 ' When the said Schmitt is discovered, he 
 should be informed that he has nothing more 
 to fear. The analysis of the sauce which 
 should have caused the death of the Arabian 
 
— 66 — 
 
 Abdul Kaban showed ihat it only contained 
 a strong dose of Spanish pepper, and not 
 poison, as was at first suspected." 
 
 PiiOPLE. {Laugh and shout). 
 
 Pletzer. {To Sevens hoe) Sir, you shall suf- 
 fer for all this ! You shall be punished to the 
 full extent of the law ! 
 
 Seven SHOE, {/umps upon the empty pedestal 
 and says) Sch — sch. Deep silence Jollows). 
 
 {He addresses the multitude). 
 
 •'Highly esteemed citizens ! You will 
 surely pardon the joke which our worthy 
 and renowned Burgomaster Pletzer has this 
 day played on you especially because the 
 joke was such a great success in all its de- 
 tails. I desire to remind you that today is 
 Mardi Grass, a day on which a joke cannot 
 be taken amiss by such an intelligent class 
 of people as I have the honor to address. 
 You all know that our esteemed burgomas- 
 ter is noted fcr his highly amusing tricks, 
 and now, since the capital joke is over, I 
 invite you one and all to dine and drink at 
 your heart's desire at the hotel of The 
 Golden Ox. at our burgomaster's expense. 
 
-^ 67 - 
 
 and after feasting to enjoy dancing until late 
 in the morning. High live our grand, emi- 
 nent, illustrious, esteemed, intelligent, and 
 renowned Burgomaster Pletzer." 
 
 People. Hurrah ! Hurrah ! Hurrah ! 
 
 Pi^aTZER. {Aside to Sevens hoe) You are a 
 rascal, but I thank you for your grand arrange- 
 ments. ( To the people) Dear citizens, Mr. 
 Seven.*^h()e has spoken the truth, the whole truth 
 and nothing but the truth. Hoping that the 
 joke will not displease you, I invite you to my 
 hotel across the way, where we shall drink and 
 feast on the welfare of our living statue. 
 
 {All cheer and leave the stage in procession). 
 
 FINIS. 
 
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