COUNT DE 
 GRAMMONT 
 

 
 
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COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
Beaujc and I3eile$ of Cnglana 
 
 Nell Gwyn, by Peter Cunningham. 
 
 Beau Brummell, by Captain Jesse, 2 vols. 
 
 Peg Woffington, by J. Fitzgerald Molloy, 2 vols. 
 
 Count de Grammont, by Count Anthony Hamilton. 
 
 Horace Walpole, by L. B. Seeley, M.A. 
 
 Fanny Burney, by L. B. Seeley, M.A. 
 
 Captain Gronow, Autobiography, 2 vols. 
 
 Mrs. Mary Robinson, Autobiography. 
 
 Mrs. Sarah Siddons, by James Boaden, 2 vols. 
 
 Lord Chesterfield, by W. Ernst, 2 vols. 
 
 Lady Blessington, by J. Fitzgerald Molloy. 
 
 The Sheridans, by Percy Fitzgerald, 2 vols. 
 
 Lady Hamilton and Lord Nelson, by John Cordy 
 
 Jeaffreson, 2 vols. 
 Mrs. Dorothy Jordan, by James Boaden, 2 vols. 
 Beau Nash, by Oliver Goldsmith. 
 Mary Wortley Montagu, Arthur R. Ropes, M. A. 
 Colley Cibber, Autobiography, 2 vols. 
 Laurence Sterne, by Percy Fitzgerald, 2 vols. 
 
 athenaeum ftes 
 
 publishers * * >= * STcto gorfc 
 
Grammont Gains Experience 
 
 Etched by L. Boisson after painting by Delort 
 
Beaux and Belles 
 of England 
 
 (Enmtt to (Sratmtumt 
 
 Written by 
 
 ANTHONY HAMILTON 
 
 ATHENAEUM PRESS 
 Publishers New York 
 
QrtH4 
 
 V 
 
 Bequest 
 
 Albert Adsit demons 
 
 Aug. 24, 1938 
 
 (Not available for exchange) 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 Biographical Sketch of Anthony Hamilton . . ix 
 Epistle to the Count de Grammont. . . . xxix 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 Grammont and his servant are introduced i 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Arrival of the Chevalier de Grammont at the siege of 
 Trino, and his general life 6 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Experience and adventures of the Chevalier de Grammont 
 before his arrival at the siege of Trino . . . .14 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 His arrival at the court of Turin and description of how he 
 passed his time 36 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 His return to the court of France. His adventures at the 
 siege of Arras. His response to Cardinal Mazarin and 
 his exile from the court of France 73 
 
 v 
 
vi CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 His arrival at the court of England. Character of the 
 personages composing the court 103 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 He falls in love with Miss Hamilton, describes various ad- 
 ventures at a ball to the queen, and the curious journey 
 of his valet to Paris 146 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 The burlesque story of his Chaplain Poussatin. Descrip- 
 tion of the siege of Lerida. Marriage of the Duke of 
 York with Miss Hyde and other particulars of the 
 court of England 191 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Various intrigues and love-affairs of the court of England . 241 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 Other intrigues and love-affairs of the court of England . 318 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Return of the Chevalier de Grammont to the court of 
 France, his reminiscences of the English court, and 
 various intrigues and love-affairs of some of the per- 
 sonages mentioned in his memoirs, and of the court 
 generally 390 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Grammont Gains Experience . . Frontispiece - 
 Anthony Hamilton . . . . . . i- 
 
 The Queen Embraces Grammont before the 
 
 Court 94 
 
 Miss Jennings and Miss Price Disguised as 
 
 Orange Girls . 353 
 
BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 ANTHONY HAMILTON 
 
 JF Anthony Hamilton, the celebrated 
 author of the Grammont * " Memoirs," 
 much cannot now be with certainty 
 known. The accounts prefixed to the different 
 editions of his works, down to the year 1805, 
 are very imperfect ; in that year a new and, in 
 general, far better edition than any of the pre- 
 ceding ones was published in Paris, to which a 
 sketch of his life was also added ; but it contains 
 rather just criticisms on his works than any very 
 novel or satisfactory anecdote concerning himself. 
 It is not pretended here to gratify literary curi- 
 osity as fully as it ought to be with regard to 
 this singular and very ingenious man ; some effort, 
 however, may be made to communicate a few more 
 particulars relative to him than the public has 
 hitherto, perhaps, been acquainted with. 
 
 Anthony Hamilton was of the noble family of 
 that name : Sir George Hamilton, his father, was 
 a younger son of James, Earl of Abercorn, a 
 
 1 For uniformity's sake the writer of this sketch has followed 
 the " Memoirs " in the spelling of this name ; but he thinks it 
 necessary to observe that it should be Gramont, not Grammont. 
 
x BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 native of Scotland. His mother was daughter of 
 Lord Thurles, and sister to James, the first Duke 
 of Ormond ; his family and connections therefore, 
 on the maternal side, were entirely Irish. He 
 was, as well as his brothers and sisters, born in 
 Ireland, it is generally said, about the year 1 646 ; 
 but there is some reason to imagine that it was 
 three or four years earlier. The place of his 
 birth, according to the best family accounts, was 
 Roscrea, in the county of Tipperary, the usual 
 residence of his father when not engaged by mili- 
 tary or public business. 1 It has been always said 
 that the family migrated to France when Anthony 
 was an infant ; but this is not the fact : " Sir 
 George Hamilton," says Carte, "would have ac- 
 companied his brother-in-law, the Marquis of Or- 
 mond, to France, in December, 1650 ; but, as he 
 was receiver-general in Ireland, he stayed to pass 
 his accounts, which he did to the satisfaction of 
 all parties, notwithstanding much clamour had 
 been raised against him." When that business 
 was settled, he, in the spring of 165 1, took Lady 
 
 1 In September, 1646, Owen O'Neale took Roscrea, and, as 
 Carte says, "put man, woman, and child to the sword, except 
 Sir George Hamilton's lady, sister to the Marquis of Ormond, 
 and some few gentlewomen whom he kept prisoners." No fam- 
 ily suffered more in those disastrous times than the house of 
 Ormond. Lady Hamilton died in August, 1680, as appears 
 from an interesting and affecting letter of her brother, the Duke 
 of Ormond, dated Carrick, August 25th. He had lost his noble 
 son, Lord Ossory, not three weeks before. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xi 
 
 Hamilton and all his family to France, and resided 
 with Lord and Lady Ormond, near Caen, in Nor- 
 mandy, 1 in great poverty and distress, till the 
 Marchioness of Ormond, a lady whose mind was 
 as exalted as her birth, went over to England, 
 and, after much solicitation, obtained two thousand 
 pounds a year from her own and her husband's 
 different estates in Ireland. This favour was 
 granted her by Cromwell, who always professed 
 the greatest respect for her. The marchioness 
 resided in Ireland, with the younger part of her 
 family, from 1655 till after the Restoration ; while 
 the Marquis of Ormond continued for a consider- 
 able part of that period with his two sisters, Lady 
 Clancarty and Lady Hamilton, at the Feuillatines, 
 in the Faubourg St. Jacques, in Paris. 
 
 It appears from a letter of the marquis to Sir 
 Robert Southwell, that, although he himself was 
 educated in the Protestant religion, not only his 
 father and mother, but all his brothers and sisters, 
 were bred, and always continued, Roman Cath- 
 olics. Sir George Hamilton also, according to 
 Carte, 2 was a Roman Catholic ; Anthony, there- 
 fore, was bred in the religion of his family, and 
 
 1 Hence possibly Voltaire's mistake in stating that Hamilton 
 was born at Caen, in his " Catalogue des Ecrivains du Siecle de 
 Louis XIV." 
 
 2 That historian states that the king (Charles I.) deprived 
 several papists of their military commissions, and, among others, 
 Sir George Hamilton, who, notwithstanding, served him with 
 loyalty and unvarying fidelity. 
 
Xii BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 conscientiously adhered to it through life. He 
 entered early into the army of Louis XIV., as 
 did his brothers George, Richard, and John, the 
 former of whom introduced the company of Eng- 
 lish gens d'armes into France in 1667, according 
 to Le Pere Daniel, author of the "History of 
 the French Army," who adds the following short 
 account of its establishment : Charles II., being 
 restored to his throne, brought over to England 
 several Catholic officers and soldiers who had 
 served abroad with him and his brother, the 
 Duke of York, and incorporated them with his 
 guards ; but the Parliament having obliged him 
 to dismiss all officers who were Catholics, the 
 king permitted George Hamilton to take such as 
 were willing to accompany him to France, where 
 Louis XIV. formed them into a company of gens 
 d'armes, and being highly pleased with them, 
 became himself their captain, and made George 
 Hamilton their captain-lieutenant. 1 Whether An- 
 thony belonged to this corps I know not; but 
 this is certain, that he distinguished himself par- 
 ticularly in his profession, and was advanced to 
 considerable posts in the French service. 2 
 
 Anthony Hamilton's residence was now almost 
 constantly in France. Some years previous to 
 
 1 They were composed of English, Scotch, and Irish. 
 
 2 It is not to be forgotten that, at this time, John Churchill, 
 afterward Duke of Marlborough, served under Marshal Turenne, 
 in the same army. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xiii 
 
 this he had been much in England, and, toward 
 the close of Charles II.'s reign, in Ireland, where 
 so many of his connections remained. 1 When 
 James II. succeeded to the throne, the door being 
 then opened to the Roman Catholics, he entered 
 into the Irish army, where we find him, in 1686, 
 a lieutenant-colonel in Sir Thomas Newcomen's 
 regiment. That he did not immediately hold a 
 higher rank there may perhaps be attributed to 
 the recent accession of the king, his general ab- 
 sence from Ireland, the advanced age of his uncle, 
 the Duke of Ormond, and, more than all, perhaps, 
 to his Grace's early disapprobation of James's con- 
 duct in Ireland, which displayed itself more fully 
 afterward, especially in the ecclesiastical promo- 
 tions. 
 
 Henry, Earl of Clarendon, son to the lord chan- 
 cellor, was at that time Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, 
 and appears, notwithstanding his general distrust 
 and dislike of the Catholics, to have held Anthony 
 Hamilton in much estimation : he speaks of his 
 knowledge of, and constant attention to, the duties 
 of his profession ; his probity, and the dependence 
 that was to be placed on him, in preference to 
 others of the same religious persuasion, and, in 
 October, 1686, wrote to the Earl of Sunderland 
 
 1 Hamilton had three sisters : the Countess of Grammont ; 
 another married to Matthew Forde, Esq., of the county of Wex- 
 ford ; and another to Sir Donogh O'Brien, ancestor to the pres- 
 ent Sir Edward O'Brien, a branch of the Thomond family. 
 
xiv BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 respecting him as follows : " I have only this one 
 thing more to trouble your lordship with at pres- 
 ent, concerning Col. Anthony Hamilton, to get 
 him a commission to command as colonel, though 
 he is but lieutenant-colonel to Sir Thomas New- 
 comen, in regard of the commands he has had 
 abroad : and I am told it is often done in France, 
 which makes me hope it will not be counted an 
 unreasonable request. I would likewise humbly 
 recommend to make Col. Anthony Hamilton a 
 privy councillor here." ' Lord Clarendon's recom- 
 mendations were ultimately successful : Hamilton 
 was made a privy councillor in Ireland, and had a 
 pension of ^200 a year on the Irish establish- 
 ment ; and was appointed governor of Limerick, 
 in the room of Sir William King, notwithstanding 
 he had strongly opposed the new modelling of the 
 army by the furious Tyrconnel. In the brief ac- 
 counts which have been given of his life it is said 
 that he had a regiment of infantry ; but though 
 this is very probable, there is no mention what- 
 ever of his commanding a regiment in the lists 
 published of King James's army, which are sup- 
 posed to be very accurate ; he is indeed set down 
 among the general officers. Lord Clarendon, in 
 one of his letters to the lord treasurer, states : 
 "That the news of the day was that Colonel 
 Russell was to be lieutenant-colonel to the Duke 
 of Ormond's regiment, and that Col. Anthony 
 1 Chapel-Izod, July n, 1686. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xv 
 
 Hamilton was to have Russell's regiment, and 
 that Mr. Luttrell was to be lieutenant-colonel to 
 Sir Thomas Newcomen, in the place of Anthony 
 Hamilton." * 
 
 It is not known whether Anthony was present 
 at the battle of the Boyne, or of Aughrim ; his 
 brother John was killed at the latter ; and 
 Richard, who was a lieutenant-general, led on 
 the cavalry with uncommon gallantry and spirit 
 at the Boyne : it is to be wished that his candour 
 and integrity had equalled his courage; but he 
 acted with great duplicity, and King William's 
 contemptuous echoing back his word to him, 
 when he declared something on his honour, is 
 well known. 2 He is frequently mentioned by 
 Lord Clarendon, but by no means with the same 
 approbation as his brother. After the total over- 
 throw of James's affairs in Ireland, the two 
 brothers finally quitted these kingdoms, and re- 
 tired to France. Richard lived much with the 
 Cardinal de Bouillon, who was the great protector 
 of the Irish in France, and kept (what must have 
 been indeed highly consolatory to many an emi- 
 grant of condition) a magnificent table, which 
 has been recorded in the most glowing and grate- 
 ful terms, by that gay companion and celebrated 
 lover of good cheer, Philippe de Coulanges, who 
 occasionally mentions the "amiable Richard 
 
 1 Dublin Castle, October 23, 1686. 
 
 2 This anecdote has been erroneously recorded of Anthony. 
 
xvi BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 Hamilton " ' as one of the cardinal's particular 
 intimates. Anthony, who was regarded particu- 
 larly as a man of letters and elegant talents, re- 
 sided almost entirely at St. Germain : solitary 
 walks in the forest of that place occupied his 
 leisure hours in the morning, and poetical pur- 
 suits, or agreeable society, engaged the evening ; 
 but much of his time seems to have rolled heavily 
 along, his sister, Madame de Grammont, living 
 more at court, or in Paris, than always suited his 
 inclinations or his convenience. His great re- 
 source at St. Germain was the family of the 
 Duke of Berwick (son of James II.) ; that noble- 
 man appears to have been amiable in private life, 
 and his attachment to Hamilton was steady and 
 sincere. The Duchess of Berwick was also his 
 friend. It is necessary to mention this lady par- 
 ticularly, as well as her sisters ; they were the 
 daughters of Henry Bulkeley, son to the first 
 viscount of that name : their father had been 
 master of the household to Charles, their mother 
 was Lady Sophia Stewart, sister to the beautiful 
 Duchess of Richmond, so conspicuous in the 
 Grammont " Memoirs." The sisters of the Duch- 
 ess of Berwick were Charlotte, married to Lord 
 Clare, 2 Henrietta and Laura. They all occupy a 
 considerable space in Hamilton's correspondence, 
 
 1 So Coulanges calls him. 
 
 2 (O'Brien) ancestor to Marshal Thomond. Lord Clare was 
 killed at the battle of Ramillies. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xvii 
 
 and the last two are the ladies so aften addressed 
 as the Mademoiselles B. ; they are almost the 
 constant subjects of Hamilton's verses, and it 
 is recorded that he was a particular admirer of 
 Henrietta Bulkeley ; but their union would have 
 been that of hunger and thirst, for both were very 
 poor and very illustrious ; their junction would, 
 of course, have militated against every rule of 
 common prudence. To the influence of this lady, 
 particularly, we are indebted for one or two of 
 Hamilton's agreeable novels ; she had taste 
 enough to laugh at the extravagant stories then 
 so much in fashion, "plus arabes qu en Arable," ' 
 as Hamilton says. And he, in compliance with 
 her taste, and his own, soon put the fashionable 
 tales to flight, by the publication of the " Quatre 
 Facardins," and, more especially, " La Fleur d' 
 lipine." Some of the introductory verses to 
 these productions are written with peculiar ease 
 and grace, and are highly extolled, and even imi- 
 tated, by Voltaire. La Harpe praises the " Fleur 
 d'^pine," as the work of an original genius ; I do 
 not think, however, that they are much relished 
 in England, probably because very ill translated. 
 Another of his literary productions was the novel 
 called " Le Belier," which he wrote on the fol- 
 lowing occasion : Louis XIV. had presented to 
 
 1 They were wretched imitations of some of the Persian and 
 Arabian Tales, in which everything was distorted, and rendered 
 absurd and preposterous. 
 
xviii BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 the Countess of Grammont (whom he highly 
 esteemed) a remarkably elegant small country 
 house in the park of Versailles ; this house be- 
 came so fashionable a resort, and brought such con- 
 stant visitors, 1 that the Count de Grammont said, 
 in his usual way, he would present the king with 
 a list of all the persons he was obliged to entertain 
 there, as more suited to his Majesty's purse than 
 his own ; the countess wished to change the name 
 of the place from the vulgar appellation of "Le 
 Moulin eau " into that of " Pentalie : " and Hamil- 
 ton, in his novel, wrote a history of a giant, an 
 enchantment, and a princess, to commemorate 
 her resolution. It has, however, happened that 
 the giant " Moulineau " has had the advantage in 
 the course of time ; for the estate, which is sit- 
 uated near Meudon, upon the Seine, retains its 
 original and popular designation. 
 
 About the year 1704, Hamilton turned his at- 
 tention to collecting the memoirs of his brother- 
 in-law, the Count de Grammont, as we may con- 
 jecture, from an epistle 2 beginning " Honneur des 
 
 1 " Le bel air de la cour est d'aller a la jolie maison, que le roi 
 a donnee a la Comtesse de Gramont dans le Pare de Versailles. 
 C'est tellement la mode, que e'est une honte de n'y avoir pas ete. 
 La Comtesse de Gramont se porte tres-bien : il est certain que le 
 roi la traite a merveille. Paris, le 5 Aout, 1703." — Lettre de 
 Madame de Coulanges d Madame de Grignan. 
 
 2 A translation of this epistle, which is a complete sketch of 
 the Grammont "Memoirs," is subjoined to this biographical 
 sketch of the author. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xix 
 
 rives iloignies" being written toward the close of 
 the above year ; it is dated, or supposed to be so, 
 from the banks of the Garonne. Among other 
 authors whom Hamilton at first proposes to Gram- 
 mont as capable of writing his life (though, on re- 
 flection, he thinks them not suited to it) is Boileau, 
 whose genius he professes to admire ; but adds 
 that his muse has somewhat of malignity ; and 
 that such a muse might caress with one hand and 
 satirise him with the other. This letter was sent 
 by Hamilton to Boileau, who answered him with 
 great politeness ; but, at the same time that he 
 highly extolled the epistle to Grammont, he, very 
 naturally, seemed anxious to efface any impression 
 which such a representation of his satiric vein 
 might make on the count's mind, and accordingly 
 added a few complimentary verses to him ; this 
 letter is dated Paris, 8th February, 1705. About 
 the same time, another letter was written to Ham- 
 ilton on the subject of the epistle to Grammont, 
 by La Chapelle, who also seemed desirous that his 
 life should be given to the public, but was much 
 perplexed which of the most celebrated ancients 
 to compare the count to. Maecenas first presented 
 himself to his imagination : absurdly enough, in 
 my opinion ; for there was not a trace of simili- 
 tude between the two characters. This, however, 
 afforded him some opportunity, as he thought, of 
 discovering a resemblance between Horace and 
 Hamilton, in which he equally failed. Petronius 
 
xx BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 is then brought forward as affording some com- 
 parison to the count : a man of pleasure, giving 
 up the day to sleep, and the night to entertain- 
 ment ; but then, adds La Chapelle, it will be sug- 
 gested that, such is the perpetual activity of the 
 Count of Grammont's mind, he may be said to 
 sleep neither night nor day, and if Petronius died, 
 the count seems determined never to die at all. 
 (He was at this time about eighty-five years of 
 age.) It may well be supposed that all this, 
 though now perfectly vapid and uninteresting, 
 was extremely flattering to Grammont ; and the 
 result was that he very much wished to have his 
 life, or part of it, at least, given to the public. 
 Hamilton, who had been so long connected with 
 him, and with whose agreeable talents he was now 
 so familiarised, was, on every account, singled out 
 by him as the person who could best introduce 
 him historically to the public. It is ridiculous to 
 mention Grammont as the author of his own 
 " Memoirs : " his excellence, as a man of wit, was 
 entirely limited to conversation. Bussy Rabutin, 
 who knew him perfectly, states that he wrote 
 almost worse than any one. If this was said, and 
 very truly, of him in his early days, it can hardly 
 be imagined that he would, when between eighty 
 and ninety years of age, commence a regular, and, 
 in point of style, most finished composition. Be- 
 sides, independent of everything else, what man 
 would so outrage all decorum as to call himself 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xxi 
 
 the admiration of the age ? For so is Grammont 
 extolled in the "Memoirs," with a variety of other 
 encomiastic expressions ; although, perhaps, such 
 vanity has not been without example. Hamilton, 
 it is true, says that he acts as Grammont's secre- 
 tary, and only holds the pen, whilst the count dic- 
 tates to him such particulars of his life as were the 
 most singular and least known. This is said with 
 great modesty, and, as to part of the work, per- 
 haps with great truth ; it requires, however, some 
 explanation. Grammont was more than twenty 
 years older than Hamilton ; consequently, the 
 earlier part of his life could only have been 
 known, or was best known, to the latter from 
 repeated conversations, and the long intimacy 
 which subsisted between them. Whether Gram- 
 mont formally dictated the events of his younger 
 days, or not, is of little consequence ; from his 
 general character, it is probable that he did not. 
 However, the whole account of such adventures 
 as he was engaged in, from his leaving home to 
 his interview with Cardinal Mazarin (excepting 
 the character of Monsieur de Senantes, and 
 Matta, who was well known to Hamilton), the 
 relation of the siege of Lerida, the description of 
 Gregorio Brice, and the inimitable discovery of 
 his own magnificent suit of clothes on the ridicu- 
 lous bridegroom at Abbeville ; all such particulars 
 must have been again and again repeated to Ham- 
 ilton by Grammont, and may therefore be fairly 
 
xxii BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 grounded on the count's authority. The charac- 
 ters of the court of Charles II., and its history, 
 are to be ascribed to Hamilton : from his resi- 
 dence, at various times, in the court of London, 
 his connection with the Ormond family, not to 
 mention others, he must have been well ac- 
 quainted with them. Lady Chesterfield, who 
 may be regarded almost as the heroine of the 
 work, was his cousin-german. 1 But, although the 
 history altogether was written by Hamilton, it 
 may not perhaps be known to every reader that 
 Grammont himself sold the manuscript for fifteen 
 hundred livres ; and when it was brought to Fon- 
 tenelle, then censor of the press, he refused to 
 license it, from respect to the character of the 
 count, which, he thought, was represented as that 
 of a gambler, and an unprincipled one, too. In 
 fact, Grammont, like many an old gentleman, 
 seems to have recollected the gaieties of his youth 
 with more complaisance than was necessary, and 
 has drawn them in pretty strong colours in that 
 part of the work which is more particularly his 
 own. He laughed at poor Fontenelle's scruples, 
 and complained to the chancellor, who forced the 
 censor to acquiesce. The license was granted, 
 and the count put the whole of the money, or the 
 best part of it, in his pocket, though he acknowl- 
 edged the work to be Hamilton's. This is exactly 
 
 1 She was born at the castle of Kilkenny, July, 1640, as ap- 
 pears from Carte's life of her father, the Duke of Ormond. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xxiii 
 
 correspondent to his general character : when 
 money was his object, he had little, or rather 
 no delicacy. 
 
 The history of Grammont may be considered as 
 unique ; there is nothing like it in any language. 
 For drollery, knowledge of the world, various 
 satire, general utility, united with great vivacity 
 of composition, " Gil Bias " is unrivalled ; but, as a 
 merely agreeable book, the " Memoirs of Gram- 
 mont " perhaps deserve that character more than 
 any which was ever written ; it is pleasantry 
 throughout, and pleasantry of the best sort, un- 
 forced, graceful, and engaging. Some French 
 critic has justly observed, that, if any book were 
 to be selected as affording the truest specimen of 
 perfect French gaiety, the " Memoirs of Gram- 
 mont " would be selected in preference to all 
 others. This has a Frenchman said of the work 
 of a foreigner ; but that foreigner possessed much 
 genius, had lived from his youth, not only in the 
 best society of France, but with the most singular 
 and agreeable man that France could produce. 
 Still, however, though Grammont and Hamilton 
 were of dispositions very different, the latter must 
 have possessed talents peculiarly brilliant, and 
 admirably adapted to coincide with, and display 
 those of his brother-in-law to the utmost advan- 
 tage. Gibbon extols the "ease and purity of 
 Hamilton's inimitable style ; " and in this he is 
 supported by Voltaire, although he adds the cen- 
 
xxiv BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 sure, that the Grammont " Memoirs " are, in point 
 of materials, the most trifling; he might also in 
 truth have said, the most improper. The man- 
 ners of the court of Charles II. were, to the 
 utmost, profligate and abandoned ; yet in what 
 colours have they been drawn by Hamilton ? 
 The elegance of his pencil has rendered them 
 more seductive and dangerous than if he had 
 more faithfully copied the originals. From such 
 a mingled mass of grossness of language, and of 
 conduct, one would have turned away with disgust 
 and abhorrence ; but Hamilton was, to use the 
 words of his admirer, Lord Orford, " superior to 
 the indelicacy of the court," whose vices he has so 
 agreeably depicted ; and that superiority has shel- 
 tered such vices from more than half the oblivion 
 which would now have for ever concealed them. 
 
 The Count de Grammont died in 1707. Some 
 years after the publication of his "Memoirs," 
 Hamilton was engaged in a very different work ; 
 he translated " Pope's Essay on Criticism " into 
 French, and, as it should seem, so much to that 
 great poet's satisfaction, that he wrote a very po- 
 lite letter of thanks to him, which is inserted in 
 "Pope's Correspondence." Hamilton's "Essay" 
 was, I believe, never printed, though Pope warmly 
 requested to have that permission. The reign of 
 Louis XIV. had now ceased, and, for several years 
 before his death, the character of the old court of 
 that prince had ceased also : profligacy and gaiety 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xxv 
 
 had given way to devotion and austerity. Of 
 Hamilton's friends and literary acquaintance few 
 were left : the Duke of Berwick was employed in 
 the field, or at Versailles ; some of the ladies, 
 however, continued at St. Germain, and in their 
 society, particularly that of his niece, the Countess 
 of Stafford (in whose name he carried on a lively 
 correspondence with Lady Mary Wortley Mon- 
 tagu), he passed much of his time. He occasion- 
 ally indulged in poetical compositions of a style 
 suited to his age and character ; and when he was 
 past seventy, he wrote that excellent copy of 
 verses, X( Sur l'Usage de la Vie dans la Vieillesse," 
 which, for grace of style, justness and purity of 
 sentiment, does honour to his memory. 
 
 Hamilton died at St. Germain, in April, 1720, 
 aged about seventy-four. His death was pious 
 and resigned. From his poem, entitled " Reflec- 
 tions," 1 he appears, like some other authors, to 
 
 1 Voltaire, upon slight evidence, had imputed to him, at an 
 earlier period, sentiments of irreligion similar to his own : 
 
 " Aupres d'eux le vif Hamilton, 
 Toujours arme d'un trait qui blesse, 
 Medisait de l'humaine espece, 
 Et merae d'un peu mieux, dit-on." 
 
 But whether Voltaire had any better foundation for insinuating 
 this charge than the libertine tone of Hamilton's earlier works, 
 joined to his own wish to hold up a man of genius as a partisan 
 of his own opinions, must remain doubtful ; while it is certain 
 that Hamilton, in his latter years, sincerely followed the Chris- 
 tian religion. 
 
xxvi BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 have turned his mind, in old age, entirely to those 
 objects of sacred regard, which, sooner or later, 
 must engage the attention of every rational mind. 
 To poetry he bids an eternal adieu, in language 
 which breathes no diminution of genius, at the 
 moment that he for ever recedes from the poetical 
 character. But he aspired to a better. The fol- 
 lowing lines are interesting, for they evidently 
 allude to his own situation ; and may every one. 
 who, from a well-directed, or mistaken, but pure 
 and generous zeal, is, through the course of a long 
 life, assailed by the temptations of poverty, find 
 that consolation in an innocence of manners, 
 which Hamilton so well invoked, and, it is to be 
 hoped, not altogether in vain : 
 
 " Fille du ciel, pure Innocence ! 
 Asile contre tous nos maux, 
 Vrai centre du parf ait repos ! 
 Heureux celui, dont la Constance, 
 Vous conservant dans l'abondance, 
 Ne vous perd point, dans les travaux 
 D'une longue et triste indigence ! " 
 
 Whatever were Hamilton's errors, his general 
 character was respectable. He has been repre- 
 sented as grave, and even dull, in society ; the 
 very reverse, in short, of what he appears in his 
 " Memoirs ; " but this is probably exaggerated. 
 Unquestionably, he had not the unequalled vivac- 
 ity of the Count de Grammont in conversation ; 
 as Grammont was, on the other hand, inferior, in 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON xxvii 
 
 all respects, to Hamilton when the pen was in his 
 hand ; the latter was, however, though reserved 
 in a large society, particularly agreeable in a more 
 select one. Some of his letters remain, in which 
 he alludes to his want of that facility at impromptu 
 which gave such brilliancy to the conversation of 
 some of his brother wits and contemporaries. But, 
 while we admit the truth of this, let it be remem- 
 bered, at the same time, that when he wrote this, 
 he was by no means young ; that he criticised his 
 own defects with severity ; that he was poor, and 
 living in a court which itself subsisted on the alms 
 of another. Amidst such circumstances, extem- 
 porary gaiety cannot always be found. I can sup- 
 pose that the Duchess of Maine, who laid claim 
 to the character of a patroness of wit, and, like 
 many who assert such claims, was very trouble- 
 some, very self-sufficient, and very exigeante, 
 might not always have found that general superi- 
 ority, or even transient lustre, which she expected 
 in Hamilton's society ; yet, considering the great 
 difference of their age and situation, this circum- 
 stance will not greatly impeach his talents for 
 conversation. But the work of real genius must 
 for ever remain ; and of Hamilton's genius, the 
 Grammont " Memoirs " will always continue a 
 beauteous and graceful monument. To that 
 monument may also be added, the candour, in- 
 tegrity, and unassuming virtues of the amiable 
 author. 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE 
 GRAMMONT 
 
 By ANTHONY HAMILTON 
 
 IN HIS OWN AND HIS BROTHER'S NAME* 
 
 Oh I thou, the glory of the shore, 
 
 Where Corisanda 2 saw the day, 
 The blessed abode of Menodore ; 
 
 Thou whom the fates have doom'd to stray 
 
 Far from that pleasant shore away, 
 On which the sun, at parting, smiles, 
 
 Ere, gliding o'er the Pyrenees, 
 
 Spain's tawny visages he sees, 
 And sinks behind the happy isles ; 
 Thou, who of mighty monarchs' court 
 
 So long hast shone unerring star, 
 Unmatch'd in earnest or in sport, 
 
 In love, in frolic, and in war ! 
 
 To you, sir, this invocation must needs be 
 addressed ; for whom else could it suit ? But you 
 may be puzzled even to guess who invokes you, 
 since you have heard nothing of us for an age, and 
 since so long an absence may have utterly banished 
 
 1 It is dated from Grammont's villa of Semeat, upon the 
 banks of the Garonne, where it would seem Philibert and 
 Anthony Hamilton were then residing. 
 
 2 Corisande and Menadaure were both ancestresses of the 
 Count de Grammont, and celebrated for beauty. 
 
xxx EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 us from your recollection. Yet we venture to 
 flatter ourselves it may be otherwise. 
 
 For who was e'er forgot by thee ? 
 
 Witness, at Ldrida, Don Brice, 1 
 
 And Barcelona's lady nice, 
 Donna Ragueza, fair and free ; 
 Witness too Boniface at Breda, 
 
 And Catalonia and Gasconne, 
 
 From Bordeaux walls to far Bayonne, 
 From Perpignan to Pueycreda, 
 
 And we your friends of fair Garonne. 
 
 Even in these distant and peaceful regions, we 
 hear, by daily report, that you are more agreeable, 
 more unequalled, and more marvellous than ever. 
 Our country neighbours, great newsmongers, 
 appraised by their correspondents of the lively 
 sallies with which you surprise the court, often 
 ask us if you are not the grandson of that famous 
 Chevalier de Grammont, of whom such wonders 
 are recorded in the " History of the Civil Wars ? " 
 Indignant that your identity should be disputed in 
 a country where your name is so well known, we 
 had formed a plan of giving some faint sketch of 
 your merits and history. But who were we, that 
 we should attempt the task ? With talents nat- 
 urally but indifferent, and now rusted by long 
 interruption of all intercourse with the court, how 
 were it possible for us to display taste and polite- 
 
 1 Don Brice is celebrated in the " Memoirs," but Donna 
 Ragueza does not appear there. 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT xxxi 
 
 ness, excelling all that is to be found elsewhere, 
 and which yet must be attributes of those fit to 
 make you their theme ? 
 
 Can mediocrity avail, 
 
 To follow forth such high emprise? 
 
 In vain our zeal to please you tries, 
 Where noblest talents well might fail ; 
 Where loftiest bards might yield the pen, 
 
 And own 'twere rash to dare, 
 'Tis meet that country gentlemen 
 
 Be silent in despair. 
 
 We therefore limited our task to registering all 
 the remarkable particulars of your life which our 
 memory could supply, in order to communicate 
 those materials to the most skilful writers of the 
 metropolis. But the choice embarrassed us. 
 Sometimes we thought of addressing our " Mem- 
 oirs" to the Academy, persuaded that as you 
 had formerly sustained a logical thesis, 1 you must 
 know enough of the art to qualify you for being 
 received a member of that illustrious body, and 
 praised from head to foot upon the day of admis- 
 sion. Sometimes, again, we thought, that, as, to 
 all appearance, no one will survive to pronounce 
 your eulogium when you are no more, it ought to 
 be delivered in the way of anticipation by the 
 reverend Father Massillon or De La Rue. But 
 we considered that the first of these expedients 
 did not suit your rank, and that, as to the second, 
 * I presume, when he was educated for the Church. 
 
xxxii EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 it would be against all form to swathe you up 
 while alive in the tropes of a funeral sermon. 
 The celebrated Boileau next occurred to us, and 
 we believed at first he was the very person we 
 wanted ; but a moment's reflection satisfied us 
 that he would not answer our purpose. 
 
 Sovereign of wit, he sits alone, 
 
 And joys him in his glory won ; 
 
 Or if, in history to live, 
 
 The first of monarchs' feats he give, 
 
 Attentive Phoebus guides his hand, 
 
 And Memory's daughters round him stand ; 
 
 He might consign, and only he, 
 
 Thy fame to immortality. 
 
 Yet, vixen still, his muse would mix 
 
 Her playful but malicious tricks, 
 
 Which friendship scarce might smother. 
 So gambols the ambiguous cat, 
 Deals with one paw a velvet pat, 
 
 And scratches you with t'other. 
 
 The next expedient which occurred to us was, 
 to have your portrait displayed at full length in 
 that miscellany which lately gave us such an ex- 
 cellent letter of the illustrious chief of your house. 
 Here is the direction we obtained for that purpose : 
 
 Not far from that superb abode 
 
 Where Paris bids her monarchs dwell, 
 Retiring from the Louvre's road, 
 
 The office opes its fruitful cell, 
 
 In choice of authors nothing nice, 
 
 To every work, of every price, 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT xxxiii 
 
 However rhymed, however writ, 
 
 Especially to folks of wit, 
 
 When by rare chance on such they hit. 
 From thence each month, in gallant quire, 
 
 Flit sonneteers in tuneful sallies, 
 
 All tender heroes of their allies, 
 By verse familiar who aspire 
 To seize the honour'd name of poet. 
 
 Some scream on mistuned pipes and whistles, 
 
 Pastorals and amorous epistles ; 
 Some, twining worthless wreath, bestow it 
 
 On bards and warriors of their own, 
 
 In camp and chronicle unknown. 
 Here, never rare, though ever new, 
 
 Riddle, in veil fantastic screening, 
 Presents, in his mysterious mask, 
 A useless, yet laborious task, 
 To loungers who have nought to do, 
 
 But puzzle out his senseless meaning. 
 'Tis here, too, that in transports old, 
 
 New elegies are monthly moaning ; 
 Here, too, the dead their lists unfold, 
 
 Telling of heirs and widows groaning ; 
 Telling what sums were left to glad them, 
 And here in copper-plate they shine, 
 Showing their features, rank, and line, 
 
 And all their arms, and whence they had them. 
 
 We soon saw it would be impossible to crowd 
 you, with propriety, into so miscellaneous a mis- 
 cellany ; and these various difficulties at length 
 reconciled us to our original intention of attempt- 
 ing the adventure ourselves, despite of our in- 
 sufficiency, and of calling to our assistance two 
 
xxxiv EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 persons whom we have not the honour to know, 
 but some of whose compositions have reached us. 
 In order to propitiate them by some civilities, one 
 of us (he who wears at his ear that pearl, which, 
 you used to say, his mother had hung there out of 
 devotion) began to invoke them, as you shall hear. 
 
 Oh ! thou of whom the easy strain 
 
 Enchanted by its happy sway, 
 Sometimes the margin of the Seine, 
 Sometimes the fair and fertile plain, 
 
 Where winds the Maine her lingering way; 
 
 Whether the light and classic lay 
 Lie at the feet of fair Climene; 
 
 Or if, La Fare, thou rather choose 
 
 The mood of the theatric muse, 
 
 And raise again, the stage to tread, 
 
 Renowned Greeks and Romans dead; 
 
 Attend ! — And thou, too, lend thine aid, 
 
 Chaulieu! on whom, in raptur'd hour, 
 
 Phoebus breath'd energy and power ; 
 
 Come both, and each a stanza place, 
 
 The structure that we raise to grace ; 
 
 To gild our heavy labours o'er, 
 
 Your aid and influence we implore. 
 
 The invocation was scarce fairly written out, 
 when we found the theatric muse a little mis- 
 placed, as neither of the gentlemen invoked ap- 
 peared to have written anything falling under her 
 department. This reflection embarrassed us ; and 
 we were meditating what turn should be given to 
 the passage, when behold ! there appeared at once, 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT xxxv 
 
 in the midst of the room, a form that surprised 
 without alarming us : it was that of your phi- 
 losopher, the inimitable St. Evremond. 1 None of 
 the tumult which usually announces the arrival 
 of ghosts of consequence preceded this apparition. 
 
 The sky was clear and still o'erhead, 
 
 No earthquake shook the regions under, 
 No subterraneous murmur dread, 
 
 And not a single clap of thunder. 
 He was not clothed in rags, or tatter'd, 
 
 Like that same grim and grisly spectre, 
 Who, ere Philippi's contest clatter'd, 
 
 The dauntless Brutus came to hector: 
 Nor was he clad like ghost of Laius, 
 
 Who, when against his son he pled, 
 
 Nor worse nor better wardrobe had, 
 Than scanty mantle of Emseus : 
 
 Nor did his limbs a shroud encumber, 
 Like that which vulgar sprites enfold, 
 When, gliding from their ghostly hold, 
 
 They haunt our couch, and scare our slumber. 
 
 By all this we saw the ghost's intention was not 
 to frighten us. He was dressed exactly as when 
 we had first the pleasure of his acquaintance in 
 London. He had the same air of mirth, sharp- 
 ened and chastened by satirical expression, and 
 
 1 With whom, as appears from the " Memoirs," the count, 
 while residing in London, maintained the closest intimacy. St. 
 Evremond was delighted with his wit, vivacity, and latitude of 
 principle : he called him his hero ; wrote verses in his praise ; 
 in short, took as warm an interest in him as an Epicurean 
 philosopher can do in any one but himself. 
 
xxxvi EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 even the same dress, which undoubtedly he had 
 preserved for this visit. Lest you doubt it, — 
 
 His ancient studying-cap he wore, 
 Well tann'd, of good Morocco hide ; ■ 
 
 The eternal double loop before, 
 That lasted till its master died : 
 
 In fine, the self-same equipage, 
 As when, with lovely Mazarin, 
 
 Still boasting of the name of Sage, 
 
 He drowned, in floods of generous wine, 
 
 The dulness and the frost of age, 
 And daily paid the homage due, 
 To charms that seem'd forever new. 
 
 As he arrived unannounced, he placed himself 
 between us without ceremony, but could not for- 
 bear smiling at the respect with which we with- 
 drew our chairs, under pretence of not crowding 
 him. I had always heard that it was necessary to 
 question folks of the other world, in order to en- 
 gage them in conversation, but he soon showed 
 us the contrary ; for, casting his eyes on the paper 
 which we had left on the table, " I approve," said he, 
 " of your plan, and I come to give you some advice 
 for the execution ; but I cannot comprehend the 
 choice you have made of these two gentlemen as 
 assistants. I admit, it is impossible to write more 
 beautifully than they both do ; but do you not see 
 
 1 One of St. Evremond's peculiarities was, that, instead of a 
 wig, the universal dress of the time, he chose to wear his own 
 gray hair, covered with the leathern cap described in the text. 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT xxxvii 
 
 that they write nothing but by starts, and that 
 their subjects are as extraordinary as their caprice? 
 
 " Love-lorn and gouty, one soft swain 
 Rebels, amid his rhymes profane, 
 
 Against specific water-gruel ; 
 Or chirrups, in his ill-tim'd lay, 
 The joys of freedom and tokay, 
 
 When Celimena's false or cruel: 
 The other, in his lovely strain, 
 Fresh from the font of Hippocrene, 
 
 Rich in the charms of sound and sense, 
 Throws all his eloquence away, 
 And vaunts, the livelong lingering day, 
 
 The languid bliss of indolence. 
 
 " Give up thoughts of them, if you please ; for 
 though you have invoked them, they won't come 
 the sooner to your succour : arrange, as well as 
 you can, the materials you have collected for 
 others, and never mind the order of time or events. 
 I would advise you, on the contrary, to choose the 
 latter years of your hero for your principal sub- 
 ject : his earlier adventures are too remote to be 
 altogether so interesting in the present day. Make 
 some short and light observation on the resolution 
 he has formed of never dying, and upon the power 
 he seems to possess of carrying it into execution. 1 
 
 1 The Count de Grammont, in his old age, recovered, contrary 
 to the expectation of his physicians, and of all the world, from one 
 or two dangerous illnesses, which led him often to say, in his lively 
 manner, that he had formed a resolution never to die. This dec- 
 laration is the subject of much raillery through the whole epistle. 
 
xxxvni EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 " That art by which his life he has warded, 
 And death so often has retarded, 
 'Tis strange to me, 
 The world's envy 
 Has ne'er with jaundiced eye regarded 
 But, mid all anecdotes he tells 
 Of warriors, statesmen, and of belles, 
 
 With whom he fought, intrigued, and slept, 
 That rare and precious mystery, 
 His art of immortality, 
 Is the sole secret he has kept. 
 
 " Do not embarrass your brains in seeking orna- 
 ments, or turns of eloquence, to paint his char- 
 acter : that would resemble strained panegyric ; 
 and a faithful portrait will be his best praise. 
 Take care how you attempt to report his stories, 
 or bons mots ; The subject is too great for you. 1 
 
 1 Bussy Rabutin assures us, that much of the merit of Gram- 
 mont's bons mots consisted in his peculiar mode of delivering 
 them, although his reputation as a wit was universally established. 
 Few of those which have been preserved are susceptible of 
 translation ; but the following may be taken as a specimen : 
 
 One day when Charles II. dined in state, he made Grammont 
 remark, that he was served upon the knee ; a mark of respect 
 not common at other courts. " I thank your Majesty for the 
 explanation," answered Grammont ; " I thought they were beg- 
 ging pardon for giving you so bad a dinner." Louis XIV., play- 
 ing at tric-trac, disputed a throw with his opponent. The 
 bystanders were appealed to, and could not decide the cause. It 
 was referred to Grammont, who, from the farther end of the 
 gallery, declared against the king. " But you have not heard 
 the case," said Louis. "Ah, Sire," replied the count, "if your 
 Majesty had but a shadow of right, would these gentlemen have 
 failed to decide in your favour? " 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT 'DE GRAMMONT xxxix 
 
 Try only, in relating his adventures, to colour 
 over his failings, and give relief to his merits. 
 
 " 'Twas thus, by easy route of yore, 
 My hero to the skies I bore.* 
 For your part, sketch how beauties tender, 
 Did to his vows in crowds surrender : 
 Show him forth-following the banners 
 
 Of one who match'd the goddess-born: 
 Show how in peace his active manners 
 Held dull repose in hate and scorn : 
 
 1 St. Evremond, whose attachment to Grammont amounted to 
 enthusiasm, composed the following epitaph upon him, made, 
 however, long before the count's death, in which he touches 
 many of the topics which he here is supposed to recommend to 
 Hamilton : 
 
 " Here lies the Count de Grammont, stranger! 
 Old Evremond's eternal theme : 
 He who shared Conde's every danger, 
 
 May envy from the bravest claim. 
 Wouldst know his art in courtly life ? 
 It match'd his courage in the strife. 
 Wouldst ask his merit with the fair ? — 
 Who ever lived his equal there ? 
 His wit to scandal never stooping; 
 His mirth ne'er to buffoon'ry drooping! 
 Keeping his character's marked plan, 
 As spouse, sire, gallant, and old man. 
 But went he to confession duly ? 
 
 At matins, mass, and vespers steady ? 
 Fervent in prayer ? — to tell you truly, 
 He left these cares to my good lady. 
 We may once more see a Turenne; 
 
 Coride himself may have a double ; 
 But to make Grammont o'er again, 
 
 Would cost dame Nature too much trouble." 
 
xl EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Show how at court he made a figure, 
 Taught lessons to the best intriguer, 
 Till, without fawning, like his neighbours, 
 His prompt address foil'd all their labours. 
 Canvas and colours change once more, 
 
 And paint him forth in various light: 
 The scourge of coxcomb and of bore ; 
 Live record of lampoons in score, 
 
 And chronicle of love and fight ; 
 Redoubted for his plots so rare, 
 By every happy swain and fair ; 
 Driver of rivals to despair; 
 
 Sworn enemy to all long speeches ; 
 Lively and brilliant, frank and free ; 
 Author of many a repartee : 
 Remember, over all, that he 
 
 Was most renown'd for storming breaches. 
 Forget not the white charger's prance, 
 
 On which a daring boast sustaining, 
 He came before a prince of France, 
 
 Victorious in Alsace campaigning. 1 
 Tell, too, by what enchanting art, 
 Or of the head, or of the heart, 
 
 If skill or courage gain'd his aim; 
 
 When to Saint Albans' foul disgrace, 
 
 Despite his colleague's grave grimace, 
 
 And a fair nymph's seducing face, 
 
 He carried off gay Buckingham* 
 
 1 Grammont had promised to the Dauphin, then commanding 
 the army in Alsace, that he would join him before the end of 
 the campaign, mounted on a white horse. 
 
 2 Grammont is supposed to have had no small share in de- 
 termining the Duke of Buckingham, then Charles the Second's 
 favourite minister, to break the triple alliance ; for which pur- 
 pose he went to France with the count, in spite of all that the 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT xli 
 
 Speak all these feats, and simply speak — 
 To soar too high were forward freak — 
 
 To keep Parnassus' skirts discreetest ; 
 For 'tis not on the very peak 
 
 That middling voices sound the sweetest. 
 Each tale in easy language dress, 
 
 With natural expression closing ; 
 Let every rhyme fall in express ; 
 Avoid poetical excess, 
 
 And shun low miserable prosing : 
 Doat not on modish style, I pray, 
 
 Nor yet condemn it, with rude passion ; 
 There is a place near the Marais, 
 Where mimicry of antique lay 
 
 Seems to be creeping into fashion. 
 This new and much admired way, 
 
 Of using Gothic words and spelling, 
 Costs but the price of Rabelais, 
 
 Or Ronsard's sonnets, to excel in. 
 With half a dozen ekes and ayes, 
 Or some such antiquated phrase, 
 At small expense you'll lightly hit 
 On this new strain of ancient wit." 
 
 We assured the spirit we would try to profit by 
 this last advice, but that his caution against falling 
 into the languor of a prosing narration appeared 
 to us more difficult to follow. " Once for all," 
 said he, " do your best ; folks that write for the 
 Count de Grammont have a right to reckon on 
 some indulgence. At any rate, you are only 
 
 other English ministers, and even his mistress, the celebrated 
 Countess of Shrewsbury, could do to prevent him. 
 
xlii EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 known through him, and, apparently, what you 
 are about will not increase the public curiosity on 
 your own account. I must end my visit," he con- 
 tinued, "and by my parting wishes convince my 
 hero that I continue to interest myself in his 
 behalf. 
 
 " Still may his wit's unceasing charms 
 
 Blaze forth, his numerous days adorning ; 
 May he renounce the din of arms, 
 
 And sleep some longer of a morning : 
 Still be it upon false alarms, 
 
 That chaplains come to lecture o'er him ; * 
 Still prematurely, as before, 
 That all the doctors give him o'er, 
 
 And king and court are weeping for him. 
 May such repeated feats convince 
 
 The king he lives but to attend him ; 
 And may he, like a grateful prince, 
 
 Avail him of the hint they lend him : 
 Live long as Grammont's age, and longer, 
 
 Then learn his art still to grow younger." 
 
 Here ceased the ghostly Norman sage, 
 A clerk whom we as well as you rate 
 
 The choicest spirit of his age, 
 And heretofore your only curate : 
 
 Though not a wight, you see, his spectre 
 
 Doth, like a buried parson's, lecture. 
 
 1 De Grammont having fallen seriously ill, at the age of 
 seventy-five, the king, who knew his free sentiments in religious 
 matters, sent Dangeau to give him ghostly advice. The count, 
 finding his errand, turned to his wife, and cried out, " Countess, 
 if you don't look to it, Dangeau will cheat you of my conversion." 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT xliii 
 
 Then off he glideth to the band 
 
 Of feal friends that hope to greet you, 
 But long may on the margin stand, 
 
 Of sable Styx, before they meet you. 
 No need upon that theme to dwell, 
 Since none but you the cause can tell ; 
 Yet, if, when some half century more, 
 In health and glee, has glided o'er, 
 You find you, maugre all your strength, 
 Stretch'd out in woful state at length, 
 And forced to Erebus to troop, 
 There shall you find the joyous group, 
 
 Carousing on the Stygian border; 
 Waiting, with hollo and with whoop, 
 
 To dub you brother of their order: 
 There shall you find Dan Benserade, 
 
 Doughty Chapelle and Sarazine. 
 
 Voiture and Chaplain, gallants fine, 
 And he who ballad never made, 
 
 Nor rhymed without a flask of wine. 
 Adieu, sir count, the world around 
 
 Who roam'd in quest of love and battle, 
 
 Of whose high merits fame did tattle, 
 As sturdy tilter, knight renown'd. 
 Before the warfare of the Fronde, 
 Should you again review Gironde, 
 
 Travelling in coach, by journeys slow, 
 
 You'll right hand mark a sweet chateau, 
 
 Which has few ornaments to show, 
 But deep, clear streams, that moat the spot, 
 'Tis there we dwell — forget us not ! 
 
 Think of us then, pray, sir, if, by chance, you 
 should take a fancy to revisit your fair mansion of 
 Semeat. In the meanwhile, permit us to finish 
 
xliv EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 this long letter; we have endeavoured in vain to 
 make something of it, by varying our language 
 and style — you see how our best efforts fall 
 below our subject. To succeed, it would be 
 necessary that he whom our fictions conjured up 
 to our assistance were actually among the living. 
 But, alas ! 
 
 No more shall Evremond incite us, 
 
 That chronicler whom none surpasses, 
 Whether his grave or gay delight us ; 
 
 That favourite of divine Parnassus 
 Can find no ford in dark Cocytus : 
 
 From that sad river's fatal bourne, 
 
 Alone De Grammont can return. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 ^S those who read only for amusement are, 
 in my opinion, more worthy of atten- 
 tion than those who open a book merely 
 to find fault, to the former I address myself, and 
 for their entertainment commit the following 
 pages to press, without being in the least con- 
 cerned about the severe criticisms of the latter. 
 I further declare, that the order of time and dis- 
 position of the facts, which give more trouble to 
 the writer than pleasure to the reader, shall not 
 much embarrass me in these " Memoirs." It being 
 my design to convey a just idea of my hero, those 
 circumstances which most tend to illustrate and 
 distinguish his character shall find a place in these 
 fragments just as they present themselves to my 
 imagination, without paying any particular atten- 
 tion to their arrangement. For, after all, what 
 does it signify where the portrait is begun, pro- 
 vided the assemblage of the parts forms a whole 
 
2 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 which perfectly expresses the original ? The cele- 
 brated Plutarch, who treats his heroes as he does 
 his readers, commences the life of the one just as 
 he thinks fit, and diverts the attention of the other 
 with digressions into antiquity, or agreeable pas- 
 sages of literature, which frequently have no refer- 
 ence to the subject ; for instance, he tells us that 
 Demetrius Poliorcetes was far from being so tall 
 as his father, Antigonus ; and afterward, that his 
 reputed father, Antigonus, was only his uncle ; 
 but this is not until he has begun his life with a 
 short account of his death, his various exploits, 
 his good and bad qualities ; and at last, out of 
 compassion to his failings, brings forward a com- 
 parison between him and the unfortunate Mark 
 Antony. 
 
 In the " Life of Numa Pompilius," he begins by 
 a dissertation upon his preceptor Pythagoras ; and, 
 as if he thought the reader would be anxious to 
 know whether it was the ancient philosopher, or 
 one of the same name, who, after being victorious 
 at the Olympic games, went full speed into Italy 
 to teach Numa philosophy, and instruct him in 
 the arts of government, he gives himself much 
 trouble to explain this difficulty, and, after all, 
 leaves it undetermined. 
 
 What I have said upon this subject is not meant 
 to reflect upon this historian, to whom, of all the 
 ancients, we are most obliged ; it is only intended 
 to authorise the manner in which I have treated 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 3 
 
 a life far more extraordinary than any of those 
 he has transmitted to us. It is my part to 
 describe a man whose inimitable character casts 
 a veil over those faults which I shall neither palli- 
 ate nor disguise ; a man distinguished by a mix- 
 ture of virtues and vices so closely linked together 
 as in appearance to form a necessary dependence, 
 glowing with the greatest beauty when united, 
 shining with the brightest lustre when opposed. 
 
 It is this indefinable brilliancy, which, in war, 
 in love, in gaming, and in the various stages of a 
 long life, has rendered the Count de Grammont 
 the admiration of his age, and the delight of every 
 country wherein he has displayed his engaging 
 wit, dispensed his generosity and magnificence, or 
 practised his inconstancy ; it is owing to this that 
 the sallies of a sprightly imagination have pro- 
 duced those admirable dons mots which have been 
 with universal applause transmitted to posterity. 
 It is owing to this that he preserved his judgment 
 free and unembarrassed in the most trying situa- 
 tions, and enjoyed an uncommon presence of 
 mind and facetiousness of temper in the most 
 imminent dangers of war. I shall not attempt to 
 draw his portrait ; his person has been described 
 by Bussi and St. Evremond, 1 authors more enter- 
 
 1 Voltaire, in " The Age of Louis XIV.," chapter 24, speaking 
 of that monarch, says : " Even at the same time when he began 
 to encourage genius by his liberality, the Count de Bussi was 
 severely punished for the use he made of his ; he was sent to 
 
4 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 taining than faithful. The former has represented 
 the Chevalier Grammont as artful, fickle, and even 
 somewhat treacherous in his amours, and indefati- 
 gable and cruel in his jealousies. St. Evremond 
 has used other colours to express the genius and 
 describe the general manners of the count ; whilst 
 both, in their different pictures, have done greater 
 honour to themselves than justice to their hero. 
 
 It is, therefore, to the count we must listen, in 
 the agreeable relation of the sieges and battles 
 wherein he distinguished himself under another 
 hero ; and it is on him we must rely for the truth 
 of passages the least glorious of his life, and for 
 the sincerity with which he relates his address, 
 
 the Bastile in 1664. 'The Amours of the Gauls' was the pre- 
 tence of his imprisonment ; but the true cause was the song in 
 which the king was treated with too much freedom, and which, 
 upon this occasion, was brought to remembrance to ruin Bussi, 
 the reputed author of it. 
 
 " Que Deodatus est heureux, 
 De baiser ce bee amoureux, 
 Qui d'une oreille a l'autre val ** 
 
 " See Deodatus with his billing dear, 
 Whose amorous mouth breathes love from ear to ear! 
 
 " His words were not good enough to compensate for the 
 mischief they did him. He spoke his own language with purity ; 
 he had some merit, but more conceit ; and he made no use of 
 the merit he had, but to make himself enemies." Voltaire adds : 
 " Bussi was released at the end of eighteen months ; but he was 
 in disgrace all the rest of his life, in vain protesting a regard for 
 Louis XIV." Bussi died in 1693. Of St. Evremond, see note, 
 postta. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 5 
 
 vivacity, frauds, and the various stratagems he 
 practised either in love or gaming. These express 
 his true character, and to himself we owe these 
 memoirs, since I only hold the pen, while he 
 directs it to the most remarkable and secret pas- 
 sages of his life. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 [N those days affairs were not managed 
 in France as at present. Louis XIII. 1 
 then sat upon the throne, but the Cardi- 
 nal de Richelieu 2 governed the kingdom ; great 
 men commanded little armies, and little armies did 
 great things : the fortune of great men depended 
 
 1 Son and successor of Henry IV. He began to reign 14th 
 May, 1 610, and died 14th May, 1643. 
 
 2 Of this great minister Mr. Hume gives the following char- 
 acter : " This man had no sooner, by suppleness and intrigue, 
 got possession of the reins of government, than he formed at 
 once three mighty projects: to subdue the turbulent spirits of 
 the great; to reduce the rebellious Huguenots ; and to curb the 
 encroaching power of the house of Austria. Undaunted and 
 implacable, prudent and active, he braved all the opposition of 
 the French princes and nobles in the prosecution of his ven- 
 geance ; he discovered and dissipated all their secret cabals and 
 conspiracies. His sovereign himself he held in subjection, while 
 he exalted the throne. The people, while they lost their liberties, 
 acquired, by means of his administration, learning, order, disci- 
 pline and renown. That confused and inaccurate genius of 
 government, of which France partook in common with other 
 European kingdoms, he changed into a simple monarchy, at the 
 very time when the incapacity of Buckingham encouraged the 
 free spirit of the commons to establish in England a regular sys- 
 tem of liberty." (" History of England," vol. iv., p. 232.) Cardi- 
 nal Richelieu died 1642. 
 
 6 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 7 
 
 solely upon ministerial favour, and blind devotion 
 to the will of the minister was the only sure 
 method of advancement. Vast designs were then 
 laying in the heart of neighbouring states the 
 foundation of that formidable greatness to which 
 France has now risen : the police was somewhat 
 neglected ; the highways were impassable by day, 
 and the streets by night ; and robberies were com- 
 mitted elsewhere with great impunity. Young 
 men, on their first entrance into the world, took 
 what course they thought proper. Whoever would, 
 was a chevalier, and whoever could, an abbe : I mean 
 a beneficed abbe : dress made no distinction between 
 them ; and I believe the Chevalier Grammont was 
 both the one and the other at the siege of Trino. 1 
 This was his first campaign, and here he dis- 
 played those attractive graces which so favourably 
 prepossess, and require neither friends nor recom- 
 mendations in any company to procure a favourable 
 reception. The siege was already formed when 
 he arrived, which saved him some needless risks ; 
 for a volunteer cannot rest at ease until he has 
 stood the first fire : he went therefore to recon- 
 noitre the place. Prince Thomas 2 commanded the 
 generals, having no occasion to reconnoitre the 
 army ; and as the post of lieutenant-general was 
 not then known, Du Plessis Pralin 3 and the famous 
 
 1 Trino was taken 4th May, 1639. 
 
 * Of Savoy, uncle of the reigning duke. He died 1656. 
 
 3 Afterward Marshal and Duke de Choiseul. He retired 
 
S COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Viscount Turenne * were his majors general. 
 Fortified places were treated with some respect, 
 before a power which nothing can withstand had 
 found means to destroy them by dreadful showers 
 of bombs, and by destructive batteries of hundreds 
 of pieces of cannon. Before these furious storms 
 which drive governors under ground and reduce 
 their garrisons to powder, repeated sallies bravely 
 repulsed, and vigorous attacks nobly sustained, 
 signalised both the art of the besiegers and the 
 courage of the besieged ; consequently, sieges were 
 of some length, and young men had an opportunity 
 of gaining some knowledge. Many brave actions 
 
 from the army in 1672. Monsieur Henault, in his " History of 
 France," under that year, says : " Le Marechal du Plessis ne fit 
 pas cette campagne a cause de son grand age ; il dit au roi, qu'il 
 portoit envie a ses enfans, qui avoient l'honneur de servir sa ma- 
 jeste, que pour lui il souhaitoit la mort, puisqu'il n'etoit plus bon 
 a rien : le roi l'embrassa, et lui dit : ' M. le Markhal, on ne tra- 
 vaille que pour approcher de la reputation que vous avez acquise: 
 il est agriable de se reposer apres tants de victoires.' " 
 
 1 This great general was killed July 27, 1675, by a cannon- 
 shot, near the village of Salzbach, in going to choose a place 
 whereon to erect a battery. " No one," says Voltaire, " is igno- 
 rant of the circumstances of his death ; but we cannot here re- 
 frain from a review of the principal of them, for the same reason 
 that they are still talked of every day. It seems as if one could 
 not too often repeat, that the same bullet which killed him, hav- 
 ing shot off the arm of St. Hilaire, lieutenant-general of the 
 artillery, his son came and bewailed his misfortune with many 
 tears ; but the father, looking toward Turenne, said : * It is not 
 I, but that great man, who should be lamented.' These words 
 may be compared with the most heroic sayings recorded in all 
 history, and are the best eulogy that can be bestowed upon 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 9 
 
 were performed on each side during the siege of 
 Trino ; a great deal of fatigue was endured, and 
 considerable losses sustained ; but fatigue was no 
 more considered, hardships were no more felt in 
 the trenches, gravity was at an end with the gen- 
 erals, and the troops were no longer dispirited 
 after the arrival of the Chevalier Grammont. 
 Pleasure was his pursuit, and he made it universal. 
 Among the officers in the army, as in all other 
 places, there are men of real merit, or pretenders 
 to it. The latter endeavoured to imitate the Chev- 
 alier Grammont in his most shining qualities, but 
 without success ; the former admired his talents 
 
 Turenne. It is uncommon, under a despotic government, where 
 people are actuated only by their private interests, for those who 
 have served their country to die regretted by the public. Never- 
 theless, Turenne was lamented both by the soldiers and people; 
 and Louvois was the only one who rejoiced at his death. The 
 honours which the king ordered to be paid to his memory are 
 known to every one ; and that he was interred at St. Denis, in 
 the same manner as the Constable du Guesclin, above whom he 
 was elevated by the voice of the public, as much as the age of 
 Turenne was superior to the age of the constable." 
 
 In former editions, the quotation from Voltaire was yet longer. 
 It is more germane to the present matter to observe, that it ap- 
 pears, from the " Memoirs of St. Hilaire," where Voltaire found 
 his anecdote, that Count Hamilton was present at the death of 
 Turenne. Monsieur de Boze had twice sent to Turenne, to beg 
 him to come to the place where the battery was to be erected, 
 which Turenne, as if by presentiment, declined. Count Hamil- 
 ton brought the third anxious request from De Boze; and in 
 riding to the place where he was, Turenne received his death- 
 blow. The horse of Montecuculi, the opposite general, was, in 
 the course of the same day, killed by a cannon-shot. 
 
io COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 and courted his friendship. Of this number was 
 Matta : ' He was agreeable in his person, but still 
 more by the natural turn of his wit ; he was plain 
 and simple in his manners, but endued with a quick 
 discernment and refined delicacy, and full of can- 
 
 1 Matta, or Matha, of whom Hamilton has drawn so striking a 
 picture, is said to have been of the house of Bourdeille, which 
 had the honour to produce Brantome and Montresor. The com- 
 bination of indolence and talent, of wit and simplicity, of blunt- 
 ness and irony, with which he is represented, may have been 
 derived from tradition, but could only have been united into the 
 inimitable whole by the pen of Hamilton. Several of his pons 
 mots have been preserved ; but the spirit evaporates in transla- 
 tion. " Where could I get this nose ? " said Madame D'Albret, 
 observing a slight tendency to a flush in that feature. " At the 
 sideboard, madame," answered Matta. When the same lady, in 
 despair at her brother's death, refused all nourishment, Matta 
 administered this blunt consolation : " If you are resolved, 
 madame, never again to swallow food, you do well ; but if ever 
 you mean to eat upon any future occasion, believe me, you may 
 as well begin just now." Madame Caylus, in her " Souvenirs," 
 commemorates the simple and natural humour of Matta as ren- 
 dering him the most delightful society in the world. Mademoi- 
 selle, in her " Memoirs," alludes to his pleasantry in conversation, 
 and turn for deep gaming. When the " Memoirs "of Grammont 
 were subjected to the examination of Fontanelle, then censor of 
 the Parisian press, he refused to license them, on account of the 
 scandalous conduct imputed to Grammont in this party at 
 quinze. The count no sooner heard of this than he hastened to 
 Fontanelle, and having joked him for being more tender of his 
 reputation than he was himself, the license was instantly issued. 
 The censor might have retorted upon Grammont the answer 
 which the count made to a widow who received coldly his com- 
 pliments of condolence on her husband's death : " Nay, madame, 
 if that is the way you take it, I care as little about it as you do." 
 He died in 1674. " Matta est mort sans confession," says 
 Madame Maintenon, in a letter to her brother. (Tome I., p. 67.) 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT n 
 
 dour and integrity in all his actions. The Chevalier 
 Grammont was not long in discovering his amiable 
 qualities ; an acquaintance was soon formed, and 
 was succeeded by the strictest intimacy. 
 
 Matta insisted that the chevalier should take up 
 his quarters with him ; to which he only consented 
 on condition of equally contributing to the expense. 
 As they were both liberal and magnificent, at their 
 common cost they gave the best designed and most 
 luxurious entertainments that had ever yet been 
 seen. Play was wonderfully productive at first, 
 and the chevalier restored by a hundred different 
 ways that which he obtained only by one. The 
 generals, being entertained by turns, admired their 
 magnificence, and were dissatisfied with their own 
 officers for not keeping such good tables and at- 
 tendance. The chevalier had the talent of setting 
 off the most indifferent things to advantage ; and 
 his wit was so generally acknowledged, that it was 
 a kind of disgrace not to submit to his taste. To 
 him Matta resigned the care of furnishing the table 
 and doing its honours ; and, charmed with the 
 general applause, persuaded himself that nothing 
 could be more honourable than their way of living, 
 and nothing more easy than to continue it ; but 
 he soon perceived that the greatest prosperity is 
 not the most lasting. Good living, bad economy, 
 dishonest servants, and ill luck, all uniting to- 
 gether to disconcert their housekeeping, their 
 table was going to be gradually laid aside, when 
 
12 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the chevalier's genius, fertile in resources, under- 
 took to support his former credit by the following 
 expedient. 
 
 They had never yet conferred about the state of 
 their finances, although the steward had acquainted 
 each, separately, that he must either receive money 
 to continue the expenses, or give in his accounts. 
 One day, when the chevalier came home sooner 
 than usual, he found Matta fast asleep in an easy 
 chair, and, being unwilling to disturb his rest, he 
 began musing on his project. Matta awoke with- 
 out his perceiving it ; and having, for a short time, 
 observed the deep contemplation he seemed in- 
 volved in, and the profound silence between two 
 persons who had never held their tongues for a 
 moment when together before, he broke it by 
 a sudden fit of laughter, which increased in pro- 
 portion as the other stared at him. " A merry 
 way of waking, and ludicrous enough," said the 
 chevalier ; " what is the matter, and whom do you 
 laugh at ?" "Faith, chevalier," said Matta, "I am 
 laughing at a dream I had just now, which is so 
 natural and diverting, that I must make you laugh 
 at it also. I was dreaming that we had dismissed 
 our maitre d' hotel, our cook, and our confectioner, 
 having resolved, for the remainder of the cam- 
 paign, to live upon others as others have lived 
 upon us ; this was my dream. Now tell me, cheva- 
 lier, on what were you musing ? " " Poor fellow ! " 
 said the chevalier, shrugging up his shoulders, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 13 
 
 "you are knocked down at once, and thrown into 
 the utmost consternation and despair at some silly 
 stories which the maitre d hotel has been telling 
 you as well as me. What ! after the figure we have 
 made in the face of the nobility and foreigners in 
 the army, shall we give it up, and like fools and 
 beggars sneak off, upon the first failure of our 
 money ! Have you no sentiments of honour ? 
 Where is the dignity of France ? " " And where 
 is the money ? " said Matta ; " for my men say, 
 the devil may take them, if there be ten crowns in 
 the house ; and I believe you have not much more, 
 for it is above a week since I have seen you pull 
 out your purse, or count your money, an amuse- 
 ment you were very fond of in prosperity." " I 
 own all this," said the chevalier, "but yet I will 
 force you to confess, that you are but a mean- 
 spirited fellow upon this occasion. What would 
 have become of you if you had been reduced to 
 the situation I was in at Lyons, four days before I 
 arrived here ? I will tell you the story." 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 t HIS," said Matta, "smells strongly of 
 romance, except that it should have 
 been your squire's part to tell your 
 adventures." "True," said the chevalier; "how- 
 ever, I may acquaint you with my first ex- 
 ploits without offending my modesty; besides, 
 my squire's style borders too much upon the 
 burlesque for an heroic narrative. 
 
 " You must know, then, that upon my arrival at 
 Lyons — " "Is it thus you begin ? " said Matta. 
 " Pray give us your history a little farther back. 
 The most minute particulars of a life like yours 
 are worthy of relation ; but, above all, the manner 
 in which you first paid your respects to Cardinal 
 Richelieu : I have often laughed at it. However, 
 you may pass over the unlucky pranks of your 
 infancy, your genealogy, name, and quality of 
 your ancestors, for that is a subject with which 
 you must be utterly unacquainted." 
 
 "Pooh!" said the chevalier; "you think that 
 all the world is as ignorant as yourself ; you 
 think that I am a stranger to the Mendores and 
 the Corisandes. So, perhaps I don't know that it 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 15 
 
 was my father's own fault that he was not the 
 son of Henry IV. The king would by all means 
 have acknowledged him for his son, but the traitor 
 would never consent to it. See what the Gram- 
 monts would have been now, but for this cross- 
 grained fellow ! They would have had precedence 
 of the Caesars de Vendome. 1 You may laugh, if 
 you like, yet it is as true as the gospel ; but let us 
 come to the point. 
 
 " I was sent to the college of Pau, 2 with the 
 intention of being brought up to the Church ; but 
 as I had quite different views, I made no manner 
 of improvement ; gaming was so much in my head, 
 that both my tutor and the master lost their labour 
 in endeavouring to teach me Latin. Old Brinon, 
 who served me both as valet de chambre and gov- 
 ernor, in vain threatened to acquaint my mother. 
 I only studied when I pleased, that is to say, 
 seldom or never ; however, they treated me as is 
 customary with scholars of my quality : I was 
 raised to all the dignities of the forms, without 
 having merited them, and left college nearly in 
 the same state in which I entered it ; neverthe- 
 
 1 Caesar, Duke de Vendome, was the eldest son of Henry IV., 
 by the celebrated Gabrielle d'Estrees. He died in 1665. 
 
 2 Pau was the capital of the principality of Bearne, and lies 
 on an eminence on the Gave Bearnois, being indeed small and 
 well built, and formerly the seat of a parliament, a bailiwick, and 
 a chamber of accounts. In the palace here was born Henry IV. 
 Exclusive of an academy of sciences and liberal arts, there was 
 in it a college of Jesuits, with five convents and two hospitals. 
 
1 6 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 less, I was thought to have more knowledge than 
 was requisite for the abbacy which my brother 
 had solicited for me. He had just married the 
 niece of a minister to whom every one cringed ; 
 he was desirous to present me to him. I felt but 
 little regret to quit the country, and great im- 
 patience to see Paris. My brother having kept 
 me some time with him, in order to polish me, let 
 me loose upon the town to shake off my rustic air, 
 and learn the manners of the world. I so thor- 
 oughly gained them, that I could not be persuaded 
 to lay them aside when I was introduced at court 
 in the character of an abbe. You know what 
 kind of dress was then the fashion. All that they 
 could obtain of me was to put a cassock over my 
 other clothes, and my brother, ready to die with 
 laughing at my ecclesiastical habit, made others 
 laugh too. I had the finest head of .hair in the 
 world, well curled and powdered, above my cassock, 
 and below were white buskins and gilt spurs. The 
 cardinal, who had a quick discernment, could not 
 help laughing. This elevation of sentiment gave 
 him umbrage ; and he foresaw what might be 
 expected from a genius that already laughed at 
 the shaven crown and cowl. 
 
 " When my brother had taken me home, ' Well, 
 my little parson,' said he, 'you have acted your 
 part to admiration, and your parti-coloured dress 
 of the ecclesiastic and soldier has greatly diverted 
 the court ; but this is not all : you must now 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 17 
 
 choose, my little knight. Consider then, whether, 
 by sticking to the Church, you will possess great 
 revenues, and have nothing to do ; or, with a 
 small portion, you will risk the loss of a leg or 
 arm, and be the fructus belli of an insensible 
 court, to arrive in your old age at the dignity of a 
 major-general, with a glass eye and a wooden leg.' 
 ' I know,' said I, • that there is no comparison 
 between these two situations, with regard to the 
 conveniences of life ; but as a man ought to secure 
 his future state in preference to all other consider- 
 ations, I am resolved to renounce the Church for 
 the salvation of my soul, upon condition, however, 
 that I keep my abbacy.' Neither the remon- 
 strances nor authority of my brother could induce 
 me to change my resolution ; and he was forced 
 to agree to this last article in order to keep me at 
 the academy. You know that I am the most 
 adroit man in France, so that I soon learned all 
 that is taught at such places, and, at the same 
 time, I also learnt that which gives the finishing 
 stroke to a young fellow's education, and makes 
 him a gentleman, viz., all sorts of games, both 
 at cards and dice ; but the truth is, I thought, at 
 first, that I had more skill in them than I really 
 had, as experience proved. When my mother 
 knew the choice I had made, she was inconso- 
 lable ; for she reckoned that, had I been a clergy- 
 man, I should have been a saint ; but now she was 
 certain that I should either be a devil in the world, 
 
18 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 or be killed in the wars. And indeed I burned 
 with impatience to be a soldier; but being yet 
 too young, I was forced to make a campaign at 
 Bidache ' before I made one in the army. When 
 I returned to my mother's house, I had so much 
 the air of a courtier and a man of the world, that 
 she began to respect me instead of chiding me for 
 my infatuation toward the army. I became her fa- 
 vourite, and finding me inflexible, she only thought 
 of keeping me with her as long as she could, 
 while my little equipage was preparing. The 
 faithful Brinon, who was to attend me as valet de 
 chambre, was likewise to discharge the office of 
 governor and equerry, being, perhaps, the only 
 Gascon who was ever possessed of so much gravity 
 and ill-temper. He passed his word for my good 
 behaviour and morality, and promised my mother 
 that he would give a good account of my person 
 in the dangers of the war ; but I hope he will 
 keep his word better as to this last article than he 
 has done as to the former. 
 
 " My equipage was sent away a week before 
 me. This was so much time gained by my mother 
 to give me good advice. At length, after having 
 solemnly enjoined me to have the fear of God 
 before my eyes, and to love my neighbour as 
 myself, she suffered me to depart, under the pro- 
 tection of the Lord and the sage Brinon. At the 
 
 1 A principality belonging to the family of the Grammonts, in 
 the province of Gascony. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 19 
 
 second stage we quarrelled. He had received 
 four hundred louis d'or for the expenses of the 
 campaign ; I wished to have the keeping of them 
 myself, which he strenuously opposed. 'Thou 
 old scoundrel,' said I, ' is the money thine, or was 
 it given thee for me ? You suppose I must have 
 a treasurer, and receive no money without his 
 order.' I know not whether it was from a pre- 
 sentiment of what afterward happened that he 
 grew melancholy ; however, it was with the great- 
 est reluctance and the most poignant anguish 
 that he found himself obliged to yield. One 
 would have thought that I had wrested his very 
 soul from him. I found myself more light and 
 merry after I had eased him of his trust ; he, on 
 the contrary, appeared so overwhelmed with grief, 
 that it seemed as if I had laid four hundred pounds 
 of lead upon his back, instead of taking away these 
 four hundred louis. He went on so heavily, that 
 I was forced to whip his horse myself, and turning 
 to me now and then, ' Ah ! sir,' said he, ' my lady 
 did not think it would be so.' His reflections and 
 sorrows were renewed at every stage ; for, instead 
 of giving a shilling to the postboy, I gave him 
 half a crown. 
 
 " Having at last reached Lyons, two soldiers 
 stopped us at the gate of the city, to carry us 
 before the governor. I took one of them to con- 
 duct me to the best inn, and delivered Brinon into 
 the hands of the other, to acquaint the comman- 
 
20 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 dant with the particulars of my journey, and my 
 future intentions. 
 
 "There are as good taverns at Lyons as at 
 Paris ; but my soldier, according to custom, car- 
 ried me to a friend of his own, whose house he 
 extolled as having the best accommodations, and 
 the greatest resort of good company in the whole 
 town. The master of this hotel was as big as a 
 hogshead, his name Cerise ; a Swiss by birth, a 
 poisoner by profession, and a thief by custom. 
 He showed me into a tolerably neat room, and 
 desired to know whether I pleased to sup by 
 myself or at the ordinary. I chose the latter, on 
 account of the beau monde which the soldier had 
 boasted of. 
 
 " Brinon, who was quite out of temper at the 
 many questions which the governor had asked 
 him, returned more surly than an old ape ; and 
 seeing that I was dressing my hair, in order to go 
 down-stairs : ' What are you about now, sir ? ' said 
 he. ' Are you going to tramp about the town ? 
 No, no; have we not had tramping enough ever 
 since the morning? Eat a bit of supper, and go 
 to bed betimes, that you may get on horseback by 
 daybreak.' 'Mr. Comptroller,' said I, 'I shall 
 neither tramp about the town, nor eat alone, nor 
 go to bed early. I intend to sup with the company 
 below.' ' At the ordinary ! ' cried he ; « I beseech 
 you, sir, do not think of it ! Devil take me, if 
 there be not a dozen brawling fellows playing at 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 21 
 
 cards and dice, who make noise enough to drown 
 the loudest thunder ! ' 
 
 " I was grown insolent since I had seized the 
 money ; and being desirous to shake off the yoke 
 of a governor, ' Do you know, Mr. Brinon,' said I, 
 'that I don't like a blockhead to set up for a 
 reasoner ? Do you go to supper, if you please ; 
 but take care that I have post-horses ready before 
 daybreak.' The moment he mentioned cards and 
 dice, I felt the money burn in my pocket. I was 
 somewhat surprised, however, to find the room 
 where the ordinary was served filled with odd- 
 looking creatures. My host, after presenting me 
 to the company, assured me that there were but 
 eighteen or twenty of those gentlemen who would 
 have the honour to sup with me. I approached 
 one of the tables where they were playing, and 
 thought I should have died with laughing : I 
 expected to have seen good company and deep 
 play ; but I only met with two Germans playing 
 at backgammon. Never did two country loobies 
 play like them ; but their figures beggared all 
 description. The fellow near whom I stood was 
 short, thick, and fat, and as round as a ball, with a 
 ruff, and prodigious high-crowned hat. Any one, 
 at a moderate distance, would have taken him for 
 the dome of a church, with the steeple on the top 
 of it. I inquired of the host who he was. ' A 
 merchant from Basle,' said he, ' who comes hither 
 to sell horses ; but from the method he pursues, I 
 
22 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 think he will not dispose of many ; for he does 
 nothing but play.' 'Does he play deep?' said I. 
 * Not now,' said he ; • they are only playing for 
 their reckoning, while supper is getting ready ; 
 but he has no objection to play as deep as any 
 one.' 'Has he money?' said I. 'As for that,' 
 replied the treacherous Cerise, ' would to God you 
 had won a thousand pistoles of him, and I went 
 your halves ; we should not be long without 
 our money.' I wanted no further encouragement 
 to meditate the ruin of the high-crowned hat. I 
 went nearer to him, in order to take a closer sur- 
 vey ; never was such a bungler ; he made blots 
 upon blots ; God knows, I began to feel some 
 remorse at winning of such an ignoramus, who 
 knew so little of the game. He lost his reckon- 
 ing ; supper was served up, and I desired him to 
 sit next me. It was a long table, and there were 
 at least five and twenty in company, notwith- 
 standing the landlord's promise. The most exe- 
 crable repast that ever was begun being finished, 
 all the crowd insensibly dispersed, except the little 
 Swiss, who still kept near me, and the landlord, 
 who placed himself on the other side of me. 
 They both smoked like dragoons ; and the Swiss 
 was continually saying, in bad French, 'I ask 
 your pardon, sir, for my great freedom,' at the 
 same time blowing such whiffs of tobacco in my 
 face as almost suffocated me. Mr. Cerise, on the 
 other hand, desired he might take the liberty of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 13 
 
 asking me whether I had ever been in his country, 
 and seemed surprised I had so genteel an air, with- 
 out having travelled in Switzerland. 
 
 " The little chub I had encountered was full as 
 inquisitive as the other. He desired to know 
 whether I came from the army in Piedmont ; and 
 having told him I was going thither, he asked me, 
 whether I had a mind to buy any horses ; that he 
 had about two hundred to dispose of, and that he 
 would sell them cheap. I began to be smoked 
 like a gammon of bacon, and being quite wearied 
 out, both with their tobacco and their questions, 
 I asked my companion if he would play for a 
 single pistole at backgammon, while our men were 
 supping ; it was not without great ceremony that 
 he consented, at the same time asking my pardon 
 for his great freedom. 
 
 " I won the game ; I gave him his revenge, and 
 won again. We then played double or quit ; I 
 won that too, and all in the twinkling of an eye, 
 for he grew vexed, and suffered himself to be taken 
 in so that I began to bless my stars for my good 
 fortune. Brinon came in about the end of the 
 third game, to put me to bed ; he made a great 
 sign of the cross, but paid no attention to the 
 signs I made him to retire. I was forced to rise 
 to give him that order in private. He began to 
 reprimand me for disgracing myself by keeping 
 company with such a low-bred wretch. It was in 
 vain that I told him he was a great merchant, that 
 
14 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 he had a great deal of money, and that he played 
 like a child. ' He a merchant ! ' cried Brinon. 
 1 Do not believe that, sir ! May the devil take me, 
 if he is not some conjurer.' ' Hold your tongue, 
 old fool,' said I ; ' he is no more a conjurer than 
 you are, and that is decisive ; and, to prove it to 
 you, I am resolved to win four or five hundred 
 pistoles of him before I go to bed.' With these 
 words I turned him out, strictly enjoining him not 
 to return, or in any mariner to disturb us. 
 
 " The game being done, the little Swiss unbut- 
 toned his pockets, to pull out a new four-pistole 
 piece, and presenting it to me, he asked my pardon 
 for his great freedom, and seemed as if he wished 
 to retire. This was not what I wanted. I told 
 him we only played for amusement ; that I had no 
 design upon his money ; and that, if he pleased, I 
 would play him a single game for his four pistoles. 
 He raised some objections ; but consented at last, 
 and won back his money. I was piqued at it. I 
 played another game ; fortune changed sides ; the 
 dice ran for him, he made no more blots. I lost 
 the game ; another game, and double or quit ; we 
 doubled the stake, and played double o quit 
 again. I was vexed ; he, like a true gamester, 
 took every bet I offered, and won all before him, 
 without my getting more than six points in eight 
 or ten games. I asked him to play a single game 
 for one hundred pistoles ; but as he saw I did not 
 stake, he told me it was late, that he must go and 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 25 
 
 look after his horses, and went away, still ask- 
 ing my pardon for his great freedom. The coo] 
 manner of his refusal, and the politeness with 
 which he took his leave, provoked me to such a 
 degree, that I could almost have killed him. I 
 was so confounded at losing my money so fast, 
 even to the last pistole, that I did not immediately 
 consider the miserable situation to which I was 
 reduced. 
 
 " I durst not go up to my chamber for fear of 
 Brinon. By good luck, however, he was tired with 
 waiting for me, and had gone to bed. This was 
 some consolation, though but of short continuance. 
 As soon as I -was laid down, all the fatal conse- 
 quences of my adventure presented themselves to 
 my imagination. I could not sleep. I saw all the 
 horrors of my misfortune, without being able to 
 find any remedy ; in vain did I rack my brain ; it 
 supplied me with no expedient. I feared nothing 
 so much as daybreak ; however, it did come, and 
 the cruel Brinon along with it. He was booted 
 up to the middle, and cracking a cursed whip, 
 which he held in his hand. 'Up, Monsieur le 
 Chevalier,' cried he, opening the curtains; 'the 
 horses are at the door, and you are still asleep. 
 We ought by this time to have ridden two stages ; 
 give me money to pay the reckoning.' ' Brinon,' 
 said I, in a dejected tone, 'draw the curtains!' 
 ' What ! ' cried he, ' draw the curtains ! Do you 
 intend, then, to make your campaign at Lyons ? 
 
26 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 You seem to have taken a liking to the place. And 
 for the great merchant, you have stripped him, I 
 suppose ? No, no, Monsieur le Chevalier, this 
 money will never do you any good. This wretch 
 has, perhaps, a family ; and it is his children's 
 bread that he has been playing with, and that 
 you have won. Was this an object to sit up all 
 night for ? What would my lady say, if she knew 
 what a life you lead ? ' ' M. Brinon,' said I, 'pray 
 draw the curtains.' But instead of obeying me, one 
 would have thought that the devil had prompted 
 him to use the most pointed and galling terms to a 
 person under such misfortunes. 'And how much 
 have you won ? ' said he ; ' five hundred pistoles ? 
 What must the poor man do ? Recollect, Monsieur 
 le Chevalier, what I have said ; this money will 
 never thrive with you. It is, perhaps, but four 
 hundred ? three ? two ? Well, if it be but one hun- 
 dred louis d'or,' continued he, seeing that I shook 
 my head at every sum which he had named, ' there 
 is no great mischief done ; one hundred pistoles 
 will not ruin him, provided you have won them 
 fairly.' ' Friend Brinon,' said I, fetching a deep 
 sigh, ' draw the curtains ; I am unworthy to see 
 daylight.' Brinon was much affected at these 
 melancholy words, but I thought he would have 
 fainted, when I told him the whole adventure. 
 He tore his hair, made grievous lamentations, 
 the burden of which still was, 'What will my 
 lady say ? ' And, after having exhausted his un- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 27 
 
 profitable complaints, 'What will become of you 
 now, Monsieur le Chevalier ? ' said he ; ' what do 
 you intend to do ? ' ' Nothing,' said I, ' for I am fit 
 for nothing.' After this, being somewhat eased 
 after making him my confession, I thought upon 
 several projects, to none of which could I gain his 
 approbation. I would have had him post after my 
 equipage, to have sold some of my clothes. I was 
 for proposing to the horse-dealer to buy some 
 horses of him at a high price on credit, to sell 
 again cheap. Brinon laughed at all these schemes, 
 and after having had the cruelty of keeping me 
 upon the rack for a long time he at last extricated 
 me. Parents are always stingy toward their poor 
 children ; my mother intended to have given me 
 five hundred louis d'or, but she had kept back 
 fifty, as well for some little repairs in the abbey, 
 as to pay for praying for me. Brinon had the 
 charge of the other fifty, with strict injunctions 
 not to speak of them, unless upon some urgent 
 necessity. And this you see soon happened. 
 
 " Thus you have a brief account of my first 
 adventure. Play has hitherto favoured me ; for, 
 since my arrival, I have had, at one time, after 
 paying all my expenses, fifteen hundred louis d'or. 
 Fortune is now again become unfavourable : we 
 must mend her. Our cash runs low ; we must, 
 therefore, endeavour to recruit." 
 
 "Nothing is more easy," said Matta ; "it is 
 only to find out such another dupe as the horse- 
 
28 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 dealer at Lyons ; but now I think on it, has not 
 the faithful Brinon some reserve for the last ex- 
 tremity ? Faith, the time is now come, and we 
 cannot do better than to make use of it." 
 
 " Your raillery would be very seasonable," said 
 the chevalier, "if you knew how to extricate us 
 out of this difficulty. You must certainly have an 
 overflow of wit, to be throwing it away upon every 
 occasion as at present. What the devil ! will you 
 always be bantering, without considering what a 
 serious situation we are reduced to ? Mind what 
 I say : I will go to-morrow to the headquarters, 
 I will dine with the Count de Cameran, and I 
 will invite him to supper." " Where ? " said Matta. 
 " Here," said the chevalier. " You are mad, my 
 poor friend," replied Matta. "This is some such 
 project as you formed at Lyons : you know we 
 have neither money nor credit ; and, to reestablish 
 our circumstances, you intend to give a supper." 
 
 " Stupid fellow ! " said the chevalier, " is it pos- 
 sible, that, so long as we have been acquainted, 
 you should have learned no more invention ? The 
 Count de Cameran plays at quinze, and so do I ; 
 we want money ; he has more than he knows what 
 to do with ; I will bespeak a splendid supper, he 
 shall pay for it. Send your maitre cT hotel to me, 
 and trouble yourself no further, except in some 
 precautions, which it is necessary to take on such 
 an occasion." " What are they ? " said Matta. " I 
 will tell you," said the chevalier ; " for I find one 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 29 
 
 must explain to you things that are as clear as 
 noonday. 
 
 " You command the guards that are here, don't 
 you ? As soon as night comes on, you shall order 
 fifteen or twenty men, under the command of your 
 Sergeant La Place, to be under arms, and to lay 
 themselves flat on the ground, between this place 
 and the headquarters." " What the devil ! " cried 
 Matta, " an ambuscade ? God forgive me, I be- 
 lieve you intend to rob the poor Savoyard. If 
 that be your intention, I declare I will have noth- 
 ing to say to it." " Poor devil ! " said the cheva- 
 lier, " the matter is this : it is very likely that we 
 shall win his money. The Piedmontese, though 
 otherwise good fellows, are apt to be suspicious 
 and distrustful. He commands the horse ; you know 
 you cannot hold your tongue, and are very likely 
 to let slip some jest or other that may vex him. 
 Should he take it into his head that he is cheated, 
 and resent it, who knows what the consequences 
 might be ? For he is commonly attended by eight 
 or ten horsemen. Therefore, however he may be 
 provoked at his loss, it is proper to be in such 
 a situation as not to dread his resentment." 
 
 " Embrace me, my dear chevalier," said Matta, 
 holding his sides and laughing ; " embrace me, for 
 thou art not to be matched. What a fool I was 
 to think, when you talked to me of taking pre- 
 cautions, that nothing more was necessary than to 
 prepare a table and cards, or perhaps to provide 
 
30 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 some false dice ! I should never have thought 
 of supporting a man who plays at quinze by a 
 detachment of foot : I must, indeed, confess that 
 you are already a great soldier." 
 
 The next day everything happened as the Chev- 
 alier Grammont had planned it ; the unfortunate 
 Cameran fell into the snare. They supped in the 
 most agreeable manner possible ; Matta drank five 
 or six bumpers to drown a few scruples which 
 made him somewhat uneasy. The Chevalier de 
 Grammont shone as usual, and almost made his 
 guest die with laughing, whom he was soon after 
 to make very serious ; and the good-natured Cam- 
 eran ate like a man whose affections were divided 
 between good cheer and a love of play ; that is to 
 say, he hurried down his victuals, that he might 
 not lose any of the precious time which he had 
 devoted to quinze. 
 
 Supper being done, the Sergeant La Place posted 
 his ambuscade, and the Chevalier de Grammont 
 engaged his man. The perfidy of Cerise, and the 
 high-crowned hat, were still fresh in remembrance, 
 and enabled him to get the better of a few grains 
 of remorse, and conquer some scruples which 
 arose in his mind. Matta, unwilling to be a spec- 
 tator of violated hospitality, sat down in an easy 
 chair, in order to fall asleep, while the chevalier 
 was stripping the poor count of his money. 
 
 They only staked three or four pistoles at first, 
 just for amusement ; but Cameran having lost 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 31 
 
 three or four times, he staked high, and the 
 game became serious. He still lost, and became 
 outrageous ; the cards flew about the room, and 
 the exclamations awoke Matta. 
 
 As his head was heavy with sleep, and hot with 
 wine, he began to laugh at the passion of the 
 Piedmontese, instead of consoling him. " Faith, 
 my poor count," said he, "if I were in your place, 
 I would play no more." " Why so ? " said the 
 other. "I don't know," said he, "but my heart 
 tells me that your ill-luck will continue." " I will 
 try that," said Cameran, calling for fresh cards. 
 " Do so," said Matta, and fell asleep again. It 
 was but for a short time. All cards were equally 
 unfortunate for the loser. He held none but tens 
 or court-cards ; and if by chance he had quinze, he 
 was sure to be the younger hand, and therefore 
 lost it. Again he stormed. " Did not I tell you 
 so?" said Matta, starting out of his sleep. "All 
 your storming is in vain ; as long as you play you 
 will lose. Believe me, the shortest follies are the 
 best. Leave off, for the devil take me if it is 
 possible for you to win." " Why ? " said Cameran, 
 who began to be impatient. "Do you wish to 
 know?" said Matta ; "why, faith, it is because we 
 are cheating you." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was provoked at 
 so ill-timed a jest, more especially as it carried 
 along with it some appearance of truth. " Mr. 
 Matta," said he, "do you think it can be very 
 
32 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 agreeable for a man who plays with such ill-luck 
 as the count to be pestered with your insipid jests ? 
 For my part, I am so weary of the game that I 
 would desist immediately, if he was not so great 
 a loser." Nothing is more dreaded by a losing 
 gamester than such a threat ; and the count, in a 
 softened tone, told the chevalier that Mr. Matta 
 might say what he pleased, if he did not offend 
 him ; that, as to himself, it did not give him the 
 smallest uneasiness. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont gave the count far 
 better treatment than he himself had experienced 
 from the Swiss at Lyons ; for he played upon 
 credit as long as he pleased, which Cameran took 
 so kindly, that he lost fifteen hundred pistoles, and 
 paid them the next morning. As for Matta, he 
 was severely reprimanded for the intemperance of 
 his tongue. All the reason he gave for his con- 
 duct was, that he made it a point of conscience not 
 to suffer the poor Savoyard to be cheated without 
 informing him of it. " Besides," said he, " it 
 would have given me pleasure to have seen my 
 infantry engaged with his horse, if he had been 
 inclined to mischief." 
 
 This adventure having recruited their finances, 
 fortune favoured them the remainder of the cam- 
 paign, and the Chevalier de Grammont, to prove 
 that he had only seized upon the count's effects by 
 way of reprisal, and to indemnify himself for the 
 losses he had sustained at Lyons, began from this 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 33 
 
 time to make the same use of his money that he 
 has been known to do since upon all occasions. 
 He found out the distressed in order to relieve 
 them ; officers who had lost their equipage in the 
 war, or their money at play ; soldiers who were 
 disabled in the trenches ; in short, every one felt 
 the influence of his benevolence ; but his manner 
 of conferring a favour exceeded even the favour 
 itself. 
 
 Every man possessed of such amiable qualities 
 must meet with success in all his undertakings. 
 The soldiers knew his person and adored him. 
 The generals were sure to meet him in every 
 scene of action, and sought his company at other 
 times. As soon as fortune declared for him, his 
 first care was to make restitution, by desiring 
 Cameran to go his halves in all parties where the 
 odds were in his favour. 
 
 An inexhaustible fund of vivacity and good 
 humour gave a certain air of novelty to whatever 
 he either said or did. I know not on what occa- 
 sion it was that Monsieur de Turenne, toward the 
 end of the siege, commanded a separate body. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont went to visit him in 
 his new quarters, where he found fifteen or twenty 
 officers. M. de Turenne was naturally fond of 
 merriment, and the chevalier's presence was sure 
 to inspire it. He was much pleased with this 
 visit, and by way of acknowledgment, would have 
 engaged him to play. The Chevalier de Gram- 
 
34 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 mont, in returning him thanks, said, that he had 
 learned from his tutor that, when a man went to 
 see his friends, it was neither prudent to leave his 
 own money behind him, nor civil to carry off 
 theirs. " Truly," said Monsieur de Turenne, "you 
 will find neither deep play nor much money among 
 us ; but, that it may not be said that we suffered 
 you to depart without playing, let us stake every 
 one a horse." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont agreed. Fortune, 
 who had followed him to a place where he did not 
 think he should have any need of her, made him 
 win fifteen or sixteen horses, by way of joke ; but 
 seeing some countenances disconcerted at the loss, 
 " Gentlemen," said he, " I should be sorry to see 
 you return on foot from your general's quarters ; it 
 will be enough for me if you send me your horses 
 to-morrow, except one, which I give for the cards." 
 
 The valet de chambre thought he was bantering. 
 " I speak seriously," said the chevalier, " I give 
 you a horse for the cards ; and, what is more, take 
 whichever you please, except my own." "Truly," 
 said Monsieur de Turenne, " I am vastly pleased 
 with the novelty of the thing ; for I don't believe 
 that a horse was ever before given for the cards." 
 
 Trino surrendered at last. The Baron de Batte- 
 ville, 1 who had defended it valiantly, and for a long 
 
 1 This officer appears to have been the same person who was 
 afterward ambassador from Spain to the court of Great Britain, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 35 
 
 time, obtained a capitulation worthy of such a 
 resistance. I do not know whether the Chevalier 
 de Grammont had any share in the capture of this 
 place ; but I know very well that, during a more 
 glorious reign, and with armies ever victorious, his 
 intrepidity and address have been the cause of 
 taking others since, even under the eye of his 
 master, as we shall see in the sequel of these 
 memoirs. 
 
 where, in the summer of 1660, he offended the French court by 
 claiming precedence of their ambassador, Count d'Estrades, on 
 the public entry of the Swedish ambassador into London. 
 On this occasion the court of France compelled its rival of Spain 
 to submit to the mortifying circumstance of acknowledging the 
 French superiority. To commemorate this important victory, 
 Louis XIV. caused a medal to be struck, representing the Span- 
 ish ambassador, the Marquis de Fuente, making the declaration 
 to that king, " No concurrer con los ambassadores des de 
 Francia," with this inscription, " Jus praecedendi assertum," and 
 under it, " Hispaniorum excusatio coram xxx legatis principum, 
 1662." A very curious account of the fray occasioned by this 
 dispute, drawn up by Evelyn, is to be seen in that gentleman's 
 article in the " Biographia Britannica." Lord Clarendon, speak- 
 ing of Baron de Batteville, says he was born in Burgundy, in 
 the Spanish quarters, and bred a soldier, in which profession he 
 was an officer of note, and at that time was governor of St. 
 Sebastian, and of that province. He seemed a rough man, and 
 to have more of the camp, but, in truth, knew the intrigues of a 
 court better than most Spaniards ; and, except when his passion 
 surprised him, was wary and cunning in his negotiation. He 
 lived with less reservation and more jollity than the ministers of 
 that crown used to do, and drew such of the court to his table 
 and conversation as he observed to be loud talkers and confident 
 enough in the king's presence. — Continuation of Clarendon, 
 p. 84. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 |ILITARY glory is at most but one-half 
 of the accomplishments which distin- 
 guish heroes. Love must give the fin- 
 ishing stroke, and adorn their character by the 
 difficulties they encounter, the temerity of their 
 enterprises, and finally, by the lustre of success. 
 We have examples of this, not only in romances, 
 but also in the genuine histories of the most 
 famous warriors and the most celebrated con- 
 querors. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont and Matta, who 
 did not think much of these examples, were, how- 
 ever, of opinion that it would be very agreeable to 
 refresh themselves after the fatigues of the siege 
 of Trino by forming some other sieges, at the 
 expense of the beauties and husbands of Turin. 
 As the campaign had finished early, they thought 
 they should have time to perform some exploits 
 before the bad weather obliged them to repass the 
 mountains. 
 
 They sallied forth, therefore, not unlike Amadis 
 de Gaul or Don Galaor after they had been dubbed 
 knights, eager in their search after adventures in 
 36 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 37 
 
 love, war, and enchantments. They were greatly 
 superior to those two brothers, who only knew 
 how to cleave in twain giants, to break lances, 
 and to carry off fair damsels behind them on 
 horseback, without saying a single word to them ; 
 whereas our heroes were adepts at cards and dice, 
 of which the others were totally ignorant. 
 
 They went to Turin, met with an agreeable 
 reception, and were greatly distinguished at court. 
 Could it be otherwise ? They were young and 
 handsome ; they had wit at command, and spent 
 their money liberally. In what country will not 
 a man succeed possessing such advantages ? As 
 Turin was at that time the seat of gallantry and 
 of love, two strangers of this description, who 
 were always cheerful, brisk, and lively, could not 
 fail to please the ladies of the court. 
 
 Though the men of Turin were extremely 
 handsome, they were not, however, possessed of 
 the art of pleasing. They treated their wives with 
 respect, and were courteous to strangers. Their 
 wives, still more handsome, were full as courteous 
 to strangers, and less respectful to their husbands. 
 
 Madame Royale, 1 a worthy daughter of Henry 
 
 1 Christina, second daughter of Henry IV., married to Victor 
 Amadeus, Prince of Piedmont, afterward Duke of Savoy. She 
 seems to have been well entitled to the character here given of 
 her. Keysler, in his " Travels," vol. i., p. 239, speaking of a 
 fine villa, called La Vigne de Madame Royale, near Turin, says : 
 " During the minority under the regent Christina, both the 
 house and garden were often the scenes of riot and debauchery. 
 
38 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 IV., rendered her little court the most agreeable 
 in the world. She inherited such of her father's 
 virtues as compose the proper ornament of her 
 sex ; and with regard to what are termed the 
 foibles of great souls her highness had in no wise 
 degenerated. 
 
 The Count de Tanes was her prime minister. 
 It was not difficult to conduct affairs of state dur- 
 ing his administration. No complaints were al- 
 leged against him ; and the princess, satisfied with 
 his conduct herself, was, above all, glad to have 
 her choice approved by her whole court, where 
 people lived nearly according to the manners and 
 customs of ancient chivalry. 
 
 The ladies had each a professed lover, for fash- 
 ion's sake, besides volunteers, whose numbers 
 were unlimited. The declared admirers wore 
 their mistresses' liveries, their arms, and some- 
 times even took their names. Their office was 
 never to quit them in public and never to ap- 
 proach them in private ; to be their squires upon 
 all occasions, and in jousts and tournaments to 
 adorn their lances, their housings, and their coats 
 with the ciphers and the colours of their dulcineas. 
 
 On this account, in the king's advanced age, when he was, as it 
 were, inflamed with an external flame of religion, with which 
 possibly the admonitions of his father-confessor might concur, 
 this place became so odious to him, that, upon the death of 
 Madame Royale, he bestowed it on the hospital." She died in 
 1663. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 39 
 
 Matta was far from being averse to gallantry ; 
 but would have liked it more simple than as it 
 was practised at Turin. The ordinary forms would 
 not have disgusted him ; but he found here a sort 
 of superstition in the ceremonies and worship of 
 love, which he thought very inconsistent ; however, 
 as he had submitted his conduct in that matter to 
 the direction of the Chevalier de Grammont, he 
 was obliged to follow his example and to conform 
 to the customs of the country. 
 
 They enlisted themselves at the same time in 
 the service of two beauties, whose former squires 
 gave them up immediately from motives of polite- 
 ness. The Chevalier de Grammont chose Mile, 
 de Saint Germain, and told Matta to offer his ser- 
 vices to Madame de Senantes. Matta consented, 
 though he liked the other better ; but the Chev- 
 alier de Grammont persuaded him that Madame 
 de Senantes was more suitable for him. As he 
 had reaped advantage from the Chevalier's talents 
 in the first projects they had formed, he resolved 
 to follow his instructions in love as he had done 
 his advice in play. 
 
 Mile, de Saint Germain was in the bloom of 
 youth ; her eyes were small, but very bright and 
 sparkling, and, like her hair, were black ; her 
 complexion was lively and clear, though not fair ; 
 she had an agreeable mouth, two fine rows of 
 teeth, a neck as handsome as one could wish, and 
 a most delightful shape ; she had a particular ele- 
 
40 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 gance in her elbows, which, however, she did not 
 show to advantage ; her hands were rather large 
 and not very white ; her feet, though not of the 
 smallest, were well shaped ; she trusted to Provi- 
 dence, and used no art to set off those graces 
 which she had received from nature ; but, notwith- 
 standing her negligence in the embellishment of 
 her charms, there was something so lively in her 
 person that the Chevalier de Grammont was 
 caught at first sight ; her wit and humour corre- 
 sponded with her other qualities, being quite easy 
 and perfectly charming ; she was all mirth, all life, 
 all complaisance and politeness, and all was natu- 
 ral and always the same without any variation. 
 
 The Marchioness de Senantes' was esteemed 
 fair, and she might have enjoyed, if she pleased, 
 the reputation of having red hair had she not 
 rather chosen to conform to the taste of the age in 
 which she lived than to follow that of the ancients ; 
 she had all the advantages of red hair without any 
 of the inconveniences ; a constant attention to her 
 person served as a corrective to the natural defects 
 of her complexion. After all, what does it signify 
 whether cleanliness be owing to nature or to art ? 
 It argues an invidious temper to be very inquisi- 
 tive about it. She had a great deal of wit, a good 
 memory, more reading, and a still greater inclina- 
 tion toward tenderness. 
 
 1 Lord Orford says the family of Senantes still remains In 
 Piedmont, and bears the title of Marquis de Carailles. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 41 
 
 She had a husband whom it would have been 
 criminal even in chastity to spare. He piqued 
 himself upon being a stoic, and gloried in being 
 slovenly and disgusting in honour of his profession. 
 In this he succeeded to admiration, for he was 
 very fat, so that he perspired almost as much in 
 winter as in summer. Erudition and brutality 
 seemed to be the most conspicuous features of his 
 character, and were displayed in his conversation, 
 sometimes together, sometimes alternately, but 
 always disagreeably ; he was not jealous, and yet 
 he was troublesome ; he was very well pleased to 
 see attentions paid to his wife, provided more were 
 paid to him. 
 
 As soon as our adventurers had declared them 
 selves, the Chevalier de Grammont arrayed himself 
 in green habiliments, and dressed Matta in blue, 
 these being the favourite colours of their new 
 mistresses. They entered immediately upon duty : 
 the chevalier learned and practised all the cere- 
 monies of this species of gallantry, as if he always 
 had been accustomed to them ; but Matta com- 
 monly forgot one-half, and was not over perfect in 
 practising the other. He never could remember 
 that his office was to promote the glory, and not 
 the interest, of his mistress. 
 
 The Duchess of Savoy gave the very next day 
 an entertainment at La Venerie, 1 where all the 
 
 * This place is thus described by Keysler, " Travels," vol. i., 
 p. 235 : " The palace most frequented by the royal family is La 
 
42 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ladies were invited. The chevalier was so agree- 
 able and diverting, that he made his mistress 
 almost die with laughing. Matta, in leading his 
 lady to the coach, squeezed her hand, and at their 
 return from the promenade he begged of her to 
 pity his sufferings. This was proceeding rather 
 too precipitately, and although Madame de Se- 
 nantes was not destitute of the natural compassion 
 of her sex, she nevertheless was shocked at the 
 familiarity of this treatment ; she thought herself 
 obliged to show some degree of resentment, and 
 pulling away her hand, which he had pressed with 
 still greater fervency upon this declaration, she 
 went up to the royal apartments without even 
 looking at her new lover. Matta, never thinkjng 
 that he had offended her, suffered her to go, and 
 went in search of some company to sup with him : 
 nothing was more easy for a man of his disposi- 
 
 Venerie, the court generally continuing there from the spring to 
 December. It is about a league from Turin : the road that 
 leads to it is well paved, and the greatest part of it planted with 
 trees on each side : it is not always in a direct line, but runs a 
 little winding between fine meadows, fields, and vineyards." 
 After describing the palace as it then was, he adds : " The 
 palace garden at present consists only of hedges and walks, 
 whereas formerly it had fine water-works and grottos, besides 
 the fountain of Hercules and the temple of Diana, of which a 
 description may be seen in the Nouveau Theatre de Piedmont. 
 But now nothing of these remains, being gone to ruin, partly by 
 the ravages of the French, and partly by the king's order that 
 they should be demolished, to make room for something else ; 
 but those vacuities have not yet, and probably will not very soon 
 be filled up." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 43 
 
 tion ; he soon found what he wanted, sat a long 
 time at table to refresh himself after the fatigues 
 of love, and went to bed completely satisfied that 
 he had performed his part to perfection. 
 
 During all this time the Chevalier de Grammont 
 acquitted himself toward Mile, de Saint Germain 
 with universal applause ; and without remitting 
 his assiduities, he found means to shine, as they 
 went along, in the relation of a thousand enter- 
 taining anecdotes, which he introduced in the gen- 
 eral conversation. Her Royal Highness heard 
 them with pleasure, and the solitary Senantes like- 
 wise attended to them. He perceived this, and 
 quitted his mistress to inquire what she had done 
 with Matta. 
 
 "I ! " said she, " I have done nothing with him ; 
 but I don't know what he would have done with 
 me if I had been obliging enough to listen to his 
 most humble solicitations." 
 
 She then told him in what manner his friend 
 had treated her the very second day of their 
 acquaintance. 
 
 The chevalier could not forbear laughing at it ; 
 he told her that Matta was rather too uncere- 
 monious, but yet she would like him better as 
 their intimacy more improved, and for her consola- 
 tion he assured her that he would have spoken in 
 the same manner to her Royal Highness herself ; 
 however, he would not fail to give him a severe 
 reprimand. He went the next morning into his 
 
44 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 room for that purpose ; but Matta had gone out 
 early in the morning on a shooting party, in which 
 he had been engaged by his supper companions in 
 the preceding evening. At his return he took 
 a brace of partridges and went to his mistress. 
 Being asked whether he wished to see the marquis, 
 he said no ; and the Swiss telling him his lady was 
 not at home, he left his partridges, and desired 
 him to present them to his mistress from him. 
 
 The marchioness was. at her toilet, and was 
 decorating her head with all the grace she could 
 devise to captivate Matta, at the moment he was 
 denied admittance ; she knew nothing of the 
 matter ; but her husband knew every particular. 
 He had taken it in dudgeon that the first visit was 
 not paid to him, and, as he was resolved that it 
 should not be paid to his wife, the Swiss had 
 received his orders, and had almost been beaten 
 for receiving the present which had been left. 
 The partridges, however, were immediately sent 
 back, and Matta, without examining into the 
 cause, was glad to have them again. He went to 
 court without ever changing his clothes, or in the 
 least considering he ought not to appear there 
 without his lady's colours. He found her becom- 
 ingly dressed ; her eyes appeared to him more than 
 usually sparkling, and her whole person altogether 
 divine. He began from that day to be much 
 pleased with himself for his complaisance to the 
 Chevalier de Grammont ; however, he could not 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 45 
 
 help remarking that she looked but coldly upon 
 him. This appeared to him a very extraordinary 
 return for his services, and, imagining that she was 
 unmindful of her weighty obligations to him, he 
 entered into conversation with her, and severely 
 reprimanded her for having sent back his par- 
 tridges with so much indifference. 
 
 She did not understand what he meant ; and 
 highly offended that he did not apologise, after 
 the reprimand which she concluded him to have 
 received, told him that he certainly had met with 
 ladies of very complying dispositions in his travels, 
 as he seemed to give to himself airs that she was 
 by no means accustomed to endure. Matta de- 
 sired to know wherein he could be said to have 
 given himself any. " Wherein ? " said she ; " the 
 second day that you honoured me with your atten- 
 tions, you treated me as if I had been your humble 
 servant for a thousand years ; the first time that 
 I gave you my hand you squeezed it as violently 
 as you were able. After this commencement of 
 your courtship, I got into my coach, and you 
 mounted your horse ; but instead of riding by the 
 side of the coach, as any reasonable gallant would 
 have done, no sooner did a hare start from her 
 form, than you immediately galloped full speed 
 after her ; having regaled yourself, during the 
 promenade, by taking snuff, without ever deigning 
 to bestow a thought on me, the only proof you 
 gave me, on your return, that you recollected me, 
 
46 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 was by soliciting me to surrender my reputation in 
 terms polite enough, but very explicit. And now 
 you talk to me of having been shooting of par- 
 tridges and of some visit or other, which, I sup- 
 pose, you have been dreaming of, as well as of all 
 the rest." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont now advanced, to 
 the interruption of this whimsical dialogue. Matta 
 was rebuked for his forwardness, and his friend 
 took abundant pains to convince him that his con- 
 duct bordered more upon insolence than familiar- 
 ity. Matta endeavoured to exculpate himself, but 
 succeeded ill. His mistress took compassion upon 
 him, and consented to admit his excuses for the 
 manner, rather than his repentance for the fact, 
 and declared it was the intention alone which 
 could either justify or condemn, in such cases ; 
 that it was very easy to pardon those transgres- 
 sions which arise from excess of tenderness, but 
 not such as proceeded from too great a presump- 
 tion of success. Matta swore that he only 
 squeezed her hand from the violence of his pas- 
 sion, and that he had been driven, by necessity, to 
 ask her to relieve it ; that he was yet a novice in 
 the arts of solicitation ; that he could not possibly 
 think her more worthy of his affection, after a 
 month's service, than at the present moment ; and 
 that he entreated her to cast away an occasional 
 thought upon him when her leisure admitted. 
 The marchioness was not offended ; she saw very 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 47 
 
 well that she must require an implicit conformity 
 to the established rule of decorum, when she had 
 to deal with such a character ; and the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, after this sort of reconciliation, 
 went to look after his own affair with Mile, de 
 Saint Germain. 
 
 His concern was not the offspring of mere good 
 nature, nay, it was the reverse ; for no sooner 
 did he perceive that the marchioness looked with 
 an eye of favour upon him, than this conquest, 
 appearing to him to be more easy than the other, 
 he thought it was prudent to take advantage of 
 it, for fear of losing the opportunity, and that he 
 might not have spent all his time to no purpose, 
 in case he should prove unsuccessful with the little 
 Saint Germain. 
 
 In the meantime, in order to maintain that 
 authority which he had usurped over the conduct 
 of his friend, he, that very evening, notwithstand- 
 ing what had been already said, reprimanded him 
 for presuming to appear at court in his morning 
 suit, and without his mistress's badge ; for not 
 having had the wit or prudence to pay his first 
 visit to the Marquis de Senantes, instead of con- 
 suming his time, to no purpose, in inquiries for 
 the lady ; and to conclude, he asked him what the 
 devil he meant by presenting her with a brace of 
 miserable red partridges. " And why not ? " said 
 Matta; "ought they to have been blue, too, to 
 match the cockade and sword-knots you made me 
 
48 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 wear the other day? Plague not me with your 
 nonsensical whimsies : my life on it, in one fort- 
 night your equal in foppery and folly will not be 
 found throughout the confines of Turin ; but to 
 reply to your questions, I did not call upon Mon- 
 sieur de Senantes, because I had nothing to do 
 with him and because he is of a species of animals 
 which I dislike, and always shall dislike. As for 
 you, you appear quite charmed with being decked 
 out in green ribands, with writing letters to your 
 mistress, and filling your pockets with citrons, 
 pistachios, and such sort of stuff, with which you 
 are always cramming the poor girl's mouth, in 
 spite of her teeth ; you hope to succeed by chant- 
 ing ditties composed in the days of Corisande and 
 of Henry IV., which you will swear yourself have 
 made upon her; happy in practising the cere- 
 monials of gallantry, you have no ambition for the 
 essentials. Very well ; every one has a particular 
 way of acting, as well as a particular taste : yours 
 is to trifle in love; and, provided you can make 
 Mile, de Saint Germain laugh, you are satisfied. 
 As for my part, I am persuaded that women here 
 are made of the same materials as in other places, 
 and I do not think that they can be mightily 
 offended, if one sometimes leaves off trifling, to 
 come to the point ; however, if the marchioness is 
 not of this way of thinking, she may e'en provide 
 herself elsewhere, for I can assure her that I shall 
 not long act the part of her squire." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 49 
 
 This was an unnecessary menace ; for the 
 marchioness in reality liked him very well, was 
 nearly of the same way of thinking herself, and 
 wished for nothing more than to put his gallantry 
 to the test. But Matta proceeded upon a wrong 
 plan ; he had conceived such an aversion for her 
 husband that he could not prevail upon himself 
 to make the smallest advance toward his good 
 graces. He was given to understand that he 
 ought to begin by endeavouring to lull the dragon 
 to sleep, before he could gain possession of the 
 treasure ; but this was all to no purpose, though, 
 at the same time, he could- never see his mistress 
 but in public. This made him impatient, and as 
 he was lamenting his ill fortune to her one day, 
 "Have the goodness, madame," said he, "to let 
 me know where you live : there is never a day 
 that I do not call upon you, at least, three or four 
 times, without ever being blessed with a sight of 
 you." " I generally sleep at home," replied she, 
 laughing, "but I must tell you that you will 
 never find me there, if you do not first pay a visit 
 to the marquis : I am not mistress of the house. 
 I do not tell you," continued she, "that he is 
 a man whose acquaintance any one would very 
 impatiently covet for his conversation ; on the 
 contrary, I agree that his humour is fantastical, 
 and his manners not of the pleasing cast ; but 
 there is nothing so savage and inhuman which a 
 little care, attention, and complaisance may not 
 
50 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 tame into docility. I must repeat to you some 
 verses upon the subject. I have got them by 
 heart, because they contain a little advice, which 
 you may accommodate, if you please, to your own 
 case." 
 
 "RONDEAU. 
 
 " Keep in mind these maxims rare, 
 You who hope to win the fair; 
 Who are, or would esteemed be, 
 The quintessence of gallantry. 
 
 " That fopp'ry, grinning, and grimace, 
 And fertile store of commonplace ; 
 That oaths as false as dicers swear, 
 And iv'ry teeth, and scented hair ; 
 That trinkets, and the pride of dress, 
 Can only give your scheme success. 
 
 Keep in mind. 
 
 " Hast thy charmer e'er an aunt? 
 Then learn the rules of woman's cant, 
 And forge a tale, and swear you read it, 
 Such as, save woman, none would credit: 
 Win o'er her confidante and pages 
 By gold, for this a golden age is ; 
 And should it be her wayward fate, 
 To be encumbered with a mate, 
 A dull, old dotard should he be, 
 That dulness claims thy courtesy. 
 
 Keep in mind." 
 
 " Truly," said Matta, " the song may say what 
 it pleases, but I cannot put it in practice. Your 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 51 
 
 husband is far too exquisite a monster for me. 
 Why, what a plaguey odd ceremony do you 
 require of us in this country, if we cannot pay 
 our compliments to the wife without being in love 
 with the husband ! " 
 
 The marchioness was much offended at this 
 answer ; and as she thought she had done enough 
 in pointing out to him the path which would con- 
 duct him to success, if he had deserved it, she did 
 not think it worth while to enter into any further 
 explanation ; since he refused to cede, for her 
 sake, so trifling an objection, from this instant 
 she resolved to have done with him. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont had taken leave of 
 his mistress nearly at the same time : the ardour 
 of his pursuit was extinguished. It was not that 
 Mile, de Saint Germain was less worthy than 
 hitherto of his attentions ; on the contrary, her 
 attractions visibly increased. She retired to her 
 pillow with a thousand charms, and ever rose from 
 it with additional beauty ; the phrase of increasing 
 in beauty as she increased in years seemed to 
 have been purposely made for her. The cheva- 
 lier could not deny these truths, but yet he could 
 not find his account in them. A little less merit, 
 with a little less discretion, would have been more 
 agreeable. He perceived that she attended to 
 him with pleasure, that she was diverted with his 
 stories as much as he could wish, and that she 
 received his billets and presents without scruple ; 
 
52 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 but then he also discovered that she did not wish 
 to proceed any farther. He had exhausted every 
 species of address upon her, and all to no pur- 
 pose : her attendant was gained ; her family, 
 charmed with the music of his conversation and 
 his great attention, were never happy without 
 him ; in short, he had reduced to practice the 
 advice contained in the marchioness's song, and 
 everything conspired to deliver the little Saint 
 Germain into his hands, if the little Saint Germain 
 had herself been willing ; but, alas ! she was not 
 inclined. It was in vain he told her the favour 
 he desired would cost her nothing ; and that since 
 these treasures were rarely comprised in the for- 
 tune a lady brings with her in marriage, she would 
 never find any person who, by unremitting tender- 
 ness, unwearied attachment, and inviolable secrecy, 
 would prove more worthy of them than himself. 
 He then told her no husband was ever able to 
 convey a proper idea of the sweets of love, and 
 that nothing could be more different than the 
 passionate fondness of a lover, always tender, 
 always affectionate, yet always respectful, and the 
 careless indifference of a husband. 
 
 Mile, de Saint Germain, not wishing to take the 
 matter in a serious light, that she might not be 
 forced to resent it, answered, that since it was 
 generally the custom in her country to marry, 
 she thought it was right to conform to it, without 
 entering into the knowledge of those distinctions, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 53 
 
 and those marvellous particulars, which she did 
 not very well understand, and of which she did not 
 wish to have any further explanation ; that she 
 had submitted to listen to him this one time, 
 but desired he would never speak to her again in 
 the same strain, since such sort of conversation 
 was neither entertaining to her, nor could be 
 serviceable to him. Though no one was ever 
 more facetious than Mile, de Saint Germain, she 
 yet knew how to assume a very serious air, when- 
 ever occasion required it. The Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont soon saw that she was in earnest ; and finding 
 it would cost him a great deal of time to effect a 
 change in her sentiments, he was so far cooled in 
 this pursuit that he only made use of it to hide 
 the designs he had upon the Marchioness de 
 Senantes. 
 
 He found this lady much disgusted at Matta's 
 want of complaisance ; and his seeming contempt 
 for her erased every favourable impression which 
 she had once entertained for him. While she was 
 in this humour, the chevalier told her that her re- 
 sentment was just ; he exaggerated the loss which 
 his friend had sustained ; he told her that her 
 charms were a thousand times superior to those 
 of the little Saint Germain, and requested that 
 favour for himself which his friend did not deserve. 
 He was soon favourably heard upon this topic ; 
 and as soon as they were agreed, they consulted 
 upon two measures necessary to be taken, the one 
 
54 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 to deceive her husband, the other his friend, which 
 was not very difficult ; Matta was not at all sus- 
 picious, and the stupid Senantes, toward whom 
 the chevalier had already behaved as Matta had 
 refused to do, could not be easy without him. 
 This was much more than was wanted ; for as 
 soon as ever the chevalier was with the mar- 
 chioness, her husband immediately joined them 
 out of politeness, and on no account would have 
 left them alone together, for fear they should 
 grow weary of each other without him. 
 
 Matta, who all this time was entirely ignorant 
 that he was disgraced, continued to serve his mis- 
 tress in his own way. She had agreed with the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, that to all appearance 
 everything should be carried on as before ; so that 
 the court always believed that the marchioness 
 only thought of Matta, and that the chevalier 
 was entirely devoted to Mile, de Saint Germain. 
 
 There were very frequently little lotteries for 
 trinkets ; the Chevalier de Grammont always 
 tried his fortune, and was sometimes fortunate ; 
 and under pretence of the prizes he had won, he 
 bought a thousand things which he indiscreetly 
 gave to the marchioness, and which she still 
 more indiscreetly accepted ; the little Saint Ger- 
 main very seldom received anything. There are 
 meddling whisperers everywhere ; remarks were 
 made upon these proceedings, and the same 
 person that made them communicated them like- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 55 
 
 wise to Mile, de Saint Germain. She pretended 
 to laugh, but in reality was piqued. It is a maxim 
 religiously observed by the fair sex, to envy each 
 other those indulgences which themselves refuse. 
 She took this very ill of the marchioness. On the 
 other hand, Matta was asked if he was not old 
 enough to make his own presents himself to the 
 Marchioness de Senantes, without sending them 
 by the Chevalier de Grammont. This roused 
 him ; for of himself, he would never have per- 
 ceived it. His suspicions, however, were but slight, 
 and he was willing to have them removed. " I 
 must confess," said he to the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, "that they make love here quite in a new 
 style ; a man serves here without reward : he 
 addresses himself to the husband when he is in 
 love with the wife, and makes presents to another 
 man's mistress, to get into the good graces of his 
 own. The marchioness is much obliged to you 
 for — " "It is you who are obliged," replied 
 the chevalier, "since this was done on your 
 account. I was ashamed to find you had never 
 yet thought of presenting her with any trifling 
 token of your attention. Do you know that the 
 people of this court have such extraordinary 
 notions as to think it is rather owing to inad- 
 vertency that you never yet have had the spirit 
 to make your mistress the smallest present ? 
 For shame ! how ridiculous it is, that you can 
 never think for yourself ! " 
 
56 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Matta took this rebuke, without making any 
 answer, being persuaded that he had in some 
 measure deserved it ; besides, he was neither 
 sufficiently jealous, nor sufficiently amorous, to 
 think any more of it ; however, as it was neces- 
 sary for the chevalier's affairs that Matta should 
 be acquainted with the Marquis de Senantes, he 
 plagued him so much about it, that at last he com- 
 plied. His friend introduced him, and his mistress 
 seemed pleased with this proof of complaisance, 
 though she was resolved that he should gain 
 nothing by it ; and the husband, being gratified 
 with a piece of civility which he had long expected, 
 determined, that very evening, to give them a 
 supper at a little country-seat of his, on the banks 
 of the river, very near the city. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, answering for 
 them both, accepted the offer ; and as this was 
 the only one Matta would not have refused from 
 the marquis, he likewise consented. The marquis 
 came to convey them in his carriage at the hour 
 appointed, but he found only Matta. The cheva- 
 lier had engaged himself to play, on purpose that 
 they might go without him. Matta was for wait- 
 ing for him, so great was his fear of being left 
 alone with the marquis ; but the chevalier having , 
 sent to desire them to go on before, and that he 
 would be with them as soon as he had finished his 
 game, poor Matta was obliged to set out with the 
 man who, of all the world, was most offensive to 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 57 
 
 him. It was not the chevalier's intention quickly 
 to extricate Matta out of this embarrassment ; he no 
 sooner knew that they were gone, than he waited 
 on the marchioness, under pretence of still find- 
 ing her husband, that they might all go together 
 to supper. 
 
 The plot was in a fair way, and as the mar- 
 chioness was of opinion that Matta's indifference 
 merited no better treatment from her, she made 
 no scruple of acting her part in it. She therefore 
 waited for the Chevalier de Grammont with inten- 
 tions so much the more favourable, as she had for 
 a long time expected him, and had some curiosity 
 to receive a visit from him in the absence of her 
 husband. We may therefore suppose that this 
 first opportunity would not have been lost, if 
 Mile, de Saint Germain had not unexpectedly 
 come in, almost at the same time with the 
 chevalier. " 
 
 She was more handsome and more entertaining 
 that day than she had ever been before ; however, 
 she appeared to them very ugly and very tiresome. 
 She soon perceived that her company was disagree- 
 able, and being determined that they should not 
 be out of humour with her for nothing, after hav- 
 ing passed above a long half-hour in diverting 
 herself with their uneasiness, and in playing a 
 thousand monkey tricks, which she plainly saw 
 could never be more unseasonable, she pulled off 
 her hood, scarf, and all that part of her dress 
 
58 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 which ladies lay aside, when in a familiar manner 
 they intend to pass the day anywhere. The 
 Chevalier de Grammont cursed her in his heart, 
 while she continued to torment him for being in 
 such ill humour in such good company. At last 
 the marchioness, who was as much vexed as he 
 was, said rather drily that she was obliged to wait 
 on her Royal Highness. Mile, de Saint Germain 
 told her that she would have the honour to ac- 
 company her, if it would not be disagreeable ; 
 she took not the smallest notice of her offer, 
 and the chevalier, finding that it would be 
 entirely useless to prolong his visit at that time, 
 retired with a good grace. 
 
 As soon as he had left the house, he sent one 
 of his scouts to desire the marquis to sit down to 
 table with his company without waiting for him, 
 because the game might not perhaps be finished 
 as soon as he expected, but that he would be with 
 him before supper was over. Having despatched 
 this messenger, he placed a sentinel at the mar- 
 chioness's door, in hopes that the tedious Saint 
 Germain might go out before her ; but this was 
 in vain, for his spy came and told him, after an 
 hour's impatience and suspense, that they were 
 gone out together. He found that there was no 
 chance of seeing her again that day, everything 
 falling out contrary to his wishes ; he was forced, 
 therefore, to leave the marchioness, and go in 
 quest of the marquis. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 59 
 
 While these things were going on in the city, 
 Matta was not much diverted in the country : as 
 he was prejudiced against the marquis, all that he 
 said displeased him ; he cursed the chevalier heart- 
 ily for the tete-a-tete which he had procured him, 
 and he was upon the point of going away when he 
 found that he was to sit down to supper without 
 any other company. 
 
 However, as his host was very choice in his 
 entertainments, and had the best wine and the 
 best cook in all Piedmont, the sight of the first 
 course appeased him, and eating most voraciously, 
 without paying any attention to the marquis, he 
 flattered himself that the supper would end with- 
 out any dispute ; but he was mistaken. 
 
 When the Chevalier de Grammont was at first 
 endeavouring to bring about an intercourse be- 
 tween the marquis and Matta, he had given a very 
 advantageous character of the latter, to make the 
 former more desirous of his acquaintance ; and in 
 the display of a thousand other accomplishments, 
 knowing what an infatuation the marquis had for 
 the very name of erudition, he assured him that 
 Matta was one of the most learned men in Europe. 
 
 The marquis, therefore, from the moment they 
 sat down to supper, had expected some stroke of 
 learning from Matta to bring his own into play ; 
 but he was much out in his reckoning ; no one 
 had read less, no one thought less, and no one had 
 ever spoken so little at an entertainment as he 
 
60 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 had done : as he did not wish to enter into con- 
 versation, he opened his mouth only to eat, or ask 
 for wine. 
 
 The other, being offended at a silence which 
 appeared to him affected, and wearied with hav- 
 ing uselessly attacked him upon other subjects, 
 thought he might get something out of him by 
 changing the discourse to love and gallantry ; and 
 therefore, to begin the subject, he accosted him in 
 this manner : 
 
 " Since you are my wife's gallant — " " I ! " 
 said Matta, who wished to carry it discreetly ; 
 
 "those who told you so, told a d d lie." 
 
 "Zounds, sir," said the marquis, "you speak in 
 a tone which does not at all become you, for I 
 would have you to know, notwithstanding your 
 contemptuous airs, that the Marchioness de Se- 
 nantes is perhaps as worthy of your attentions as 
 any of your French ladies, and that I have known 
 some greatly your superiors, who have thought 
 it an, honour to serve her." "Very well," said 
 Matta, " I think she is very deserving, and since 
 you insist upon it, I am her servant and gallant, 
 to oblige you." 
 
 "You think, perhaps," continued the other, 
 "that the same custom prevails in this country 
 as in your own, and that the ladies have lovers, 
 with no other intentions than to grant them 
 favours ; undeceive yourself, if you please, and 
 know, likewise, that even if such events were 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 61 
 
 frequent in this court, I should not be at all un- 
 easy." " Nothing can be more civil," said Matta ; 
 " but wherefore would you not ? " " I will tell you 
 why," replied he ; "I am well acquainted with 
 the affection my wife entertains for me; I am 
 acquainted with her discretion toward all the 
 world ; and, what is more, I am acquainted with 
 my own merit." 
 
 "You have a most uncommon acquaintance, 
 then," replied Matta; "I congratulate you upon 
 it ; I have the honour to drink it in a bumper." 
 The marquis pledged him ; but seeing that the 
 conversation dropped on their ceasing to drink, 
 after two or three healths, he wished to make a 
 second attempt, and attack Matta on his strong 
 side, that is to say, on his learning. 
 
 He desired him, therefore, to tell him at what 
 time he thought the Allobroges came to settle 
 in Piedmont. Matta, who wished him and his 
 Allobroges at the devil, said that it must be in 
 the time of the civil wars. " I doubt that," said 
 the other. " Just as you like," said Matta. " Under 
 what consulate ? " replied the marquis. " Under 
 that of the League," said Matta, "when the Guises 
 brought the lansquenets into France ; but what 
 the devil does that signify ? " 
 
 The marquis was tolerably warm, and naturally 
 savage, so that God knows how the conversation 
 would have ended if the Chevalier de Grammont 
 had not unexpectedly come in to appease them. 
 
62 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 It was some time before he could find out what 
 their debate was, for the one had forgotten the 
 questions, and the other the answers, which had 
 disobliged him, in order to reproach the chevalier 
 with his eternal passion for play, which made him 
 always uncertain. The chevalier, who knew that 
 he was still more culpable than they thought, bore 
 it all with patience, and condemned himself more 
 than they desired ; this appeased them, and the 
 entertainment ended with greater tranquillity than 
 it had begun. The conversation was again re- 
 duced to order ; but he could not enliven it as 
 he usually did. He was in very ill humour, and, 
 as he pressed them every minute to rise from the 
 table, the marquis was of opinion that he had lost 
 a great deal. Matta said, on the contrary, that he 
 had won, but for want of precautions had made, 
 perhaps, an unfortunate retreat, and asked him if 
 he had not stood in need of Sergeant La Place, 
 with his ambuscade. 
 
 This piece of history was beyond the compre- 
 hension of the marquis, and, being afraid that 
 Matta might explain it, the chevalier changed 
 the discourse, and was for rising from the table, 
 but Matta would not consent to it. This effected 
 a reconciliation between him and the marquis, 
 who thought this was a piece of civility intended 
 for him ; however, it was not for him, but for 
 his wine, to which Matta had taken a prodigious 
 liking. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 63 
 
 The duchess, who knew the character of the 
 marquis, was charmed with the account which 
 the Chevalier de Grammont gave her of the en- 
 tertainment and conversation ; she sent for Matta, 
 to know the truth of it from himself. He con- 
 fessed that, before the Allobroges were mentioned, 
 the marquis was for quarrelling with him, because 
 he was not in love with his wife. 
 
 Their acquaintance having begun in this man- 
 ner, all the esteem which the marquis had formerly 
 expressed for the chevalier seemed now directed 
 toward Matta ; he went every day to pay Matta 
 a visit, and Matta was every day with his wife. 
 This did not at all suit the chevalier ; he repented 
 of his having chid Matta, whose assiduity now 
 interrupted all his schemes. And the marchioness 
 was still more embarrassed. Whatever wit a man 
 may have, it will never please where his company 
 is disliked, and she repented that she had been 
 formerly guilty of some trifling advances toward 
 him. 
 
 Matta began to find charms in her person, and 
 might have found the same in her conversation, 
 if she had been inclined to display them ; but it 
 is impossible to be in good humour with persons 
 who thwart our designs. While his passion in- 
 creased, the Chevalier de Grammont was solely 
 occupied in endeavouring to find out some method, 
 by which he might accomplish his intrigue ; and 
 this was the stratagem which he put into execu- 
 
64 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 tion to clear the coast, by removing, at one am 
 the same time, both the lover and the husband. 
 
 He told Matta that they ought to invite the 
 marquis to supper at their lodgings, and he would 
 take upon himself to provide everything proper 
 for the occasion. Ma\ta desired to know if it was 
 to play at quinze, and assured him that he should 
 take care to render abortive any intention he 
 might have to engage in play, and leave him alone 
 with the greatest blockhead in all Europe. The 
 Chevalier de Grammont did not entertain any 
 such thought, being persuaded that it would be 
 impossible to take advantage of any such oppor- 
 tunity, in whatever manner he might take his 
 measures, and that they would seek for him in 
 every corner of the city rather than allow him the 
 least repose ; his whole attention was therefore 
 employed in rendering the entertainment agree- 
 able, in finding out means of prolonging it, in 
 order ultimately to kindle some dispute between 
 the marquis and Matta. For this purpose he put 
 himself in the best humour in the world, and the 
 wine produced the same effect on the rest of the 
 company. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont expressed his con- 
 cern that he had not been able to give the marquis 
 a little concert, as he had intended in the morning ; 
 for the musicians had all been preengaged. Upon 
 this the marquis undertook to have them at his 
 country house the following evening, and invited 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 65 
 
 the same company to sup with him there. Matta 
 asked what the devil they wanted with music, and 
 maintained that it was of no use on such occasions 
 but for women who had something to say to their 
 lovers, while the fiddles prevented them from 
 being overheard, or for fools who had nothing to 
 say when the music ended. They ridiculed all 
 his arguments ; the party was fixed for the next 
 day, and the music was voted by the majority of 
 voices. The marquis, to console Matta, as well 
 as to do honour to the entertainment, toasted a 
 great many healths. Matta was more ready to 
 listen to his arguments on this topic than in a dis- 
 pute ; but the chevalier, perceiving that a little 
 would irritate them, desired nothing more ear- 
 nestly than to see them engaged in some new con- 
 troversy. It was in vain that he had from time 
 to time started some subject of discourse with 
 this intention ; but having luckily thought of ask- 
 ing what was his lady's maiden name, Senantes, 
 who was a great genealogist, as all fools are who 
 have good memories, immediately began by trac- 
 ing out her family, by an endless, confused string 
 of lineage. The chevalier seemed to listen to 
 him with great attention ; and perceiving that 
 Matta was almost out of patience, he desired him 
 to attend to what the marquis was saying, for that 
 nothing could be more entertaining. "All this 
 may be very true," said Matta ; "but for my part, 
 I must confess, if I were married, I should rather 
 
66 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 choose to inform myself who was the real father 
 of my children, than who were my wife's grand- 
 fathers." The marquis, smiling at this rudeness, 
 did not leave off until he had traced back the 
 ancestors of his spouse, from line to line, as far as 
 Yolande de Senantes ; after this he offered to 
 prove, in less than half an hour, that the Gram- 
 monts came originally from Spain. " Very well," 
 said Matta, " and pray what does it signify to us 
 from whence the Grammonts are descended ? Do 
 not you know, sir, that it is better to know nothing 
 at all, than to know too much ? " 
 
 The marquis maintained the contrary with great 
 warmth, and was preparing a formal argument to 
 prove that an ignorant man is a fool ; but the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, who was thoroughly ac- 
 quainted with Matta, saw very clearly that he 
 would send the logician to the devil before he 
 should arrive at the conclusion of his syllogism ; 
 for which reason, interposing as soon as they 
 began to raise their voices, he told them it was 
 ridiculous to quarrel about an affair in itself so 
 trivial, and treated the matter in a serious light, 
 that it might make the greater impression. Thus 
 supper terminated peaceably, owing to the care he 
 took to suppress all disputes, and to substitute 
 plenty of wine in their stead. 
 
 The next day Matta went to the chase, the 
 Chevalier de Grammont to the bagnio, and the 
 marquis to his country house. While the latter 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 67 
 
 was making the necessary preparations for his 
 guests, not forgetting the music, and Matta pur- 
 suing his game to get an appetite, the chevalier 
 was meditating on the execution of his project. 
 
 As soon as he had regulated his plan of opera- 
 tions in his own mind, he privately sent anonymous 
 intelligence to the officer of the guard at the palace 
 that the Marquis de Senantes had had some words 
 with Monsieur de Matta the preceding night at 
 supper ; that the one had gone out in the morning, 
 and the other could not be found in the city. 
 
 Madame Royale, alarmed at this advice, imme- 
 diately sent for the Chevalier de Grammont ; he 
 appeared surprised when her Highness mentioned 
 the affair ; he confessed, indeed, that some high 
 words had passed between them, but that he did 
 not believe either of them would have remembered 
 them the next day. He said that if no mischief 
 had yet taken place, the best way would be to 
 secure them both until the morning, and that if 
 they could be found, he would undertake to recon- 
 cile them, and to obliterate all grievances ; in this 
 there was no great difficulty. On inquiry at the 
 marquis's they were informed that he was gone to 
 his country house ; there certainly he was, and 
 there they found him. The officer put him under 
 an arrest, without assigning any reason for so 
 doing, and left him in very great surprise. 
 
 Immediately upon Matta's return from hunting, 
 her Royal Highness sent the same officer to 
 
68 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 desire him to give her his word that he would not 
 stir out # that evening. This compliment very 
 much surprised him, more particularly as no 
 reason was assigned for it. He was expected at 
 a good entertainment, he was dying with hunger, 
 and nothing appeared to him more unreasonable 
 than to oblige him to stay at home, in a situation 
 like the present ; but he had given his word, and 
 not knowing to what this might tend, his only 
 resource was to send for his friend ; but his friend 
 did not come to him until his return from the 
 country. He had there found the marquis in the 
 midst of his fiddlers, and very much vexed to find 
 himself a prisoner in own house on account of 
 Matta, whom he was waiting for in order to feast 
 him. He complained of him bitterly to the Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont ; he said that he did not believe 
 that he had offended him, but that, since he was 
 very desirous of a quarrel, he desired the chevalier 
 to acquaint him, if he felt the least displeasure on 
 the present occasion, he should, on the very first 
 opportunity, receive what is called satisfaction. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont assured him that no 
 such thought had ever entered the mind of Matta ; 
 that, on the contrary, he knew that he very greatly 
 esteemed him ; that all this could alone arise from 
 the extreme tenderness of his lady, who, being 
 alarmed upon the report of the servants who 
 waited at table, must have gone to her Royal 
 Highness, in order to prevent any unpleasant con- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 69 
 
 sequences ; that he thought this the more probable, 
 as he had often told the marchioness, when speak- 
 ing of Matta, that he was the best swordsman in 
 France. 
 
 The marquis, being a little pacified, said he was 
 very much obliged to him, that he would severely 
 chide his wife for her unseasonable tenderness, 
 and that he was extremely desirous of again en- 
 joying the pleasure of his dear friend Matta's 
 company. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont assured him that 
 he would use all his endeavours for that purpose, 
 and at the same time gave strict charge to his 
 guard not to let him escape without orders from 
 the court, as he seemed fully bent upon fighting, 
 and they would be responsible for him ; there was 
 no occasion to say more to have him strictly 
 watched, though there was no necessity for it. 
 
 One being thus safely lodged, his next step was 
 to secure the other. He returned immediately to 
 town, and as soon as Matta saw him, " What the 
 devil," said he, " is the meaning of this farce which 
 I am obliged to act ? For my part, I cannot under- 
 stand the foolish customs of this country ; how 
 comes it that they make me a prisoner upon my 
 parole ? " "How comes it ? " said the Chevalier 
 de Grammont. " It is because you yourself are far 
 more unaccountable than all their customs ; you 
 cannot help disputing with a peevish fellow, whom 
 you ought only to laugh at ; some officious foot- 
 
70 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 man has no doubt been talking of your last night's 
 dispute ; you were seen to go out of town in the 
 morning, and the marquis soon after ; was not this 
 sufficient to make her Royal Highness think her- 
 self obliged to take these precautions ? The mar- 
 quis is in custody ; they have only required your 
 parole ; so far, therefore, from taking the affair in 
 the sense you do, I should send very humbly to 
 thank her Highness for the kindness she has 
 manifested toward you in putting you under arrest, 
 since it is only on your account that she interests 
 herself in the affair." 
 
 Matta charged him not to fail to express to her 
 Royal Highness the grateful sense he had of her 
 favour, though in truth he as little feared the 
 marquis as he loved him ; and it is impossible to 
 express the degree of his fortitude in stronger 
 terms. 
 
 As soon as the Chevalier de Grammont per- 
 ceived that everything coincided with his wishes, 
 and that toward the end of the entertainment the 
 toasts went merrily around, he knew he was sure 
 of his man till next day; then taking him aside 
 with the permission of the company, and making 
 use of a false confidence in order to disguise a real 
 treachery, he acquainted him, after having sworn 
 him several times to secrecy, that he had at last 
 prevailed upon the little Saint Germain to grant 
 him an interview that night ; for which reason he 
 would take his leave, under pretence of going to 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 71 
 
 play at court ; he therefore desired him fully to 
 satisfy the company that he would not have left 
 them on any other account, as the Piedmontese 
 are naturally mistrustful. Matta promised he 
 would manage this point with discretion ; that he 
 would make an apology for him, and that there 
 was no occasion for his personally taking leave ; 
 then, after congratulating him upon the happy 
 posture of his affairs, he sent him away with all 
 the expedition and secrecy imaginable, so great 
 was his fear lest his friend should lose the present 
 opportunity. 
 
 Matta then returned to the company, much 
 pleased with the confidence which had been placed 
 in him, and with the share he had in the success 
 of this adventure. 
 
 It was late at night before the company broke 
 up, and Matta went to bed, very well satisfied with 
 what he had done for his friend ; and, if we may 
 credit appearances, this friend enjoyed the fruit of 
 his perfidy. The amorous marchioness received 
 him like one who wished to enhance the value of 
 the favour she bestowed; her charms were far 
 from being neglected ; and if there are any cir- 
 cumstances in which we may detest the traitor 
 while we profit by the treason, this was not one of 
 them ; and however successful the Chevalier de 
 Grammont was in his intrigues, it was not owing 
 to him that the contrary was not believed ; but, be 
 that as it may, being convinced that in love what- 
 
72 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ever is gained by address is gained fairly, it does 
 not appear that he ever showed the smallest de- 
 gree of repentance for this trick. But it is now 
 time for us to take him from the court of Savoy, 
 to see him shine in that of France. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 HE Chevalier de Grammont, upon his 
 return to France, sustained, with the 
 greatest success, the reputation he had 
 acquired abroad : alert in play, active and vigilant 
 in love ; sometimes successful, and always feared, 
 in his intrigues ; in war alike prepared for the 
 events of good or ill fortune ; possessing an inex- 
 haustible fund of pleasantry in the former, and 
 full of expedients and dexterity in the latter. 
 
 Zealously attached to the Prince de Conde ' 
 from inclination, he was a witness, and, if we may 
 
 1 Louis of Bourbon, Duke d'Enghien, afterward, by the death 
 of his father in 1656, Prince de Conde\ Of this great man 
 Cardinal de Retz says : " He was born a general, which never 
 happened but to Csesar, to Spinola, and to himself. He has 
 equalled the first ; he has surpassed the second. Intrepidity is 
 one of the least shining strokes in his character. Nature had 
 formed him with a mind as great as his courage. Fortune, in 
 setting him out in a time of wars, has given this last a full extent 
 to work in ; his birth, or rather his education, in a family devoted 
 and enslaved to the court, has kept the first within too straight 
 bounds. He was not taught time enough the great and general 
 maxims which alone are able to form men to think always con- 
 sistently. He never had time to learn them of himself, because 
 he was prevented from his youth, by the great affairs that fell 
 unexpectedly to his share, and by the continual success he met 
 with. This defect in him was the cause, that with the soul in 
 73 
 
74 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 be allowed to say it, his companion, in the glory 
 he had acquired at the celebrated battles of Lens, 
 Norlinguen, and Fribourg ; * and the details he so 
 frequently gave of them were far from diminishing 
 their lustre. 
 
 So long as he had only some scruples of con- 
 science, and a thousand interests to sacrifice, he 
 
 the world the least inclined to evil, he has committed injuries; 
 that with the heart of an Alexander, he has, like him, had his 
 failings ; that with a wonderful understanding, he has acted im- 
 prudently ; that having all the qualities which the Duke Francis 
 of Guise had, he has not served the state in some occasions so 
 well as he ought ; and that having likewise all the qualities of 
 the Duke Henry of Guise, he has not carried faction so far as he 
 might. He could not come up to the height of his merit ; 
 which, though it be a defect, must yet be owned to be very un- 
 common, and only to be found in persons of the greatest abili- 
 ties." — Memoirs, vol. i., p. 248, edit. 1723. He retired from the 
 army, soon after the death of Turenne, to Chantilly, "from 
 whence," says Voltaire, " he very rarely came to Versailles, to 
 behold his glory eclipsed in a place where the courtier never 
 regards anything but favour. He passed the remainder of his 
 days, tormented with the gout, relieving the severity of his pains, 
 and employing the leisure of his retreat in the conversation of 
 men of genius of all kinds, with which France then abounded. 
 He was worthy of their conversation, as he was not unacquainted 
 with any of those arts and sciences in which they shone. He 
 continued to be admired even in his retreat; but at last that 
 devouring fire, which, in his youth, had made him a hero, im- 
 petuous, and full of passions, having consumed the strength of 
 his body, which was naturally rather agile than robust, he de- 
 clined before his time ; and the strength of his mind decaying 
 with that of his body, there remained nothing of the great Conde 
 during the last two years of his life. He died in 1686." — Age of 
 Louis XIV., chap. II. He was aged 66 years. 
 
 1 These were fought in the years 1648, 1645, an ^ 1644. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 75 
 
 quitted all to follow a man whom strong motives 
 and resentments, which in some manner appeared 
 excusable, had withdrawn from the paths of recti- 
 tude. He adhered to him in his first disgrace, with 
 a constancy of which there are few examples ; but 
 he could not submit to the injuries which he after- 
 ward received, and which such an inviolable at- 
 tachment so little merited. Therefore, without 
 fearing any reproach for a conduct which suffi- 
 ciently justified itself, as he had formerly devi- 
 ated from his duty by entering into the service 
 of the Prince de Conde, he thought he had a right 
 to leave him to return again to his duty. 
 
 His peace was soon made at court, where many, 
 far more culpable than himself, were immediately 
 received in favour, when they desired it ; for the 
 queen, 1 still terrified at the dangers into which the 
 
 1 Anne of Austria, daughter of Philip III. of Spain, widow 
 of Louis XIII., to whom she was married in 161 5, and mother 
 of Louis XIV. She died in 1666. Cardinal de Retz speaks of 
 her in the following terms : " The queen had more than anybody 
 whom I ever knew of that sort of wit which was necessary for 
 her not to appear a fool to those that did not know her. She 
 had in her more of harshness than haughtiness ; more of haughti- 
 ness than of greatness ; more of outward appearance than reality ; 
 more regard to money than liberality ; more of liberality than 
 of self-interest ; more of self-interest than disinterestedness : she 
 was more tied to persons by habit than by affection ; she had 
 more of insensibility than of cruelty ; she had a better memory 
 for injuries than for benefits; her intention toward piety was 
 greater than her piety ; she had in her more of obstinacy than 
 of firmness ; and more incapacity than of all the rest which I 
 mentioned before." — Memoirs, vol. i., p. 247. 
 
76 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 civil wars had plunged the state at the commence- 
 ment of her regency, endeavoured by lenient meas- 
 ures to conciliate the minds of the people. The 
 policy of the minister ' was neither sanguinary nor 
 revengeful ; his favourite maxim was rather to ap- 
 pease the minds of the discontented by lenity than 
 to have recourse to violent measures ; to be con- 
 tent with losing nothing by the war, without being 
 at the expense of gaining any advantage from the 
 enemy ; to suffer his character to be very severely 
 handled, provided he could amass much wealth, 
 and to spin out the minority to the greatest pos- 
 sible extent. 
 
 1 Cardinal Mazarin, who during a few of the latter years of 
 his life, governed France. He died at Vincennes the 9th of 
 March, 1661, aged 59 years, leaving as heir to his name and 
 property the Marquis de la Meilleray, who married his niece, and 
 took the title of Duke of Mazarin. On his death, Louis XIV. 
 and the court appeared in mourning, an honour not common, 
 though Henry IV. had shown it to the memory of Gabrielle 
 d'Estrees. Voltaire, who appears unwilling to ascribe much 
 ability to the cardinal, takes an opportunity, on occasion of 
 his death, to make the following observation : " We cannot 
 refrain from combating the opinion, which supposes prodigious 
 abilities, and a genius almost divine, in those who have gov- 
 erned empires with some degree of success. It is not a 
 superior penetration that makes statesmen ; it is their char- 
 acter. All men, how inconsiderable soever their share of sense 
 may be, see their own interest nearly alike. A citizen of Bern 
 or Amsterdam, in this respect, is equal to Sejanus, Ximenes, 
 Buckingham, Richelieu, or Mazarin; but our conduct and our 
 enterprises depend absolutely on our natural dispositions, and 
 our success depends upon fortune." — Age of Louis XIV., 
 chap. 5. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 77 
 
 His avidity to heap up riches was not alone 
 confined to the thousand different means with 
 which he was furnished by his authority and the 
 situation in which he was placed ; his whole pur- 
 suit was gain ; he was naturally fond of gaming ; 
 but he only played to enrich himself, and there- 
 fore, whenever he found an opportunity, he cheated. 
 
 As he found the Chevalier de Grammont pos- 
 sessed a great deal of wit, and a great deal of 
 money, he was a man according to his wishes, and 
 soon became one of his set. The chevalier soon 
 perceived the artfulness and dishonesty of the 
 cardinal, and thought it was allowable in him 
 to put in practice those talents which he had 
 received from nature, not only in his own defence, 
 but even to attack him whenever an opportunity 
 offered. This would certainly be the place to 
 mention these particulars ; but who can describe 
 them with such ease and elegance as may be ex- 
 pected by those who have heard his own relation 
 of them ? Vain is the attempt to endeavour to 
 transcribe these entertaining anecdotes ; their 
 spirit seems to evaporate upon paper; and in 
 whatever light they are exposed the delicacy of 
 their colouring and their beauty is lost. 
 
 It is, then, enough to say, that upon all occa- 
 sions where address was reciprocally employed, 
 the chevalier gained the advantage ; and that, if 
 he paid his court badly to the minister, he had 
 the consolation to find that those who suffered 
 
78 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 themselves to be cheated in the end gained no 
 great advantage from their complaisance ; for they 
 always continued in an abject submission, while 
 the Chevalier de Grammont, on a thousand dif- 
 ferent occasions, never put himself under the 
 least restraint. Of which the following is one 
 instance : 
 
 The Spanish army, commanded by the Prince 
 de Cond6 and the archduke, 1 besieged Arras. 
 The court was advanced as far as Peronne. 2 The 
 enemy, by the capture of this place, would have 
 procured a reputation for their army of which they 
 were in great need, as the French, for a consider- 
 able time past, had evinced a superiority in every 
 engagement. 
 
 The prince supported a tottering party, as far 
 as their usual inactivity and irresolution permitted 
 him ; but as in the events of war it is necessary 
 to act independently on some occasions, which, 
 if once suffered to escape, can never be retrieved, 
 for want of this power it frequently happened that 
 his great abilities were of no avail. The Spanish 
 infantry had never recovered itself since the battle 
 of Rocroy ; 3 and he who had ruined them by that 
 victory, by fighting against them, was the only 
 
 1 Leopold, brother of the Emperor Ferdinand III. 
 
 2 A little but strong town, standing among marshes on the 
 river Somme, in Picardy. 
 
 3 This famous battle was fought and won 19th May, 1643, five 
 days after the death of Louis XIII. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 79 
 
 man who now, by commanding their army, was 
 capable of repairing the mischief he had done 
 them. But the jealousy of the generals, and the 
 distrust attendant upon their counsels, tied up his 
 hands. 
 
 Nevertheless, the siege of Arras ' was vigor- 
 ously carried on. The cardinal was very sensible 
 how dishonourable it would be to suffer this place 
 to be taken under his nose, and almost in sight of 
 the king. On the other hand, it was very hazard- 
 ous to attempt its relief, the Prince de Conde being 
 a man who never neglected the smallest precau- 
 tion for the security of his lines ; and if lines are 
 attacked and not forced, the greatest danger 
 threatens the assailants. For, the more furious 
 the assault, the greater is the disorder in the 
 retreat ; and no man in the world knew so well 
 as the Prince de Conde how to make the best 
 
 1 Voltaire observes that it was the fortune of Turenne and 
 Conde to be always victorious when they fought at the head of 
 the French, and to be vanquished when they commanded the 
 Spaniards. This was Conde's fate before Arras, August 25, 
 1654, when he and the archduke besieged that city. Turenne 
 attacked them in their camp, and forced their lines ; the troops 
 of the archduke were cut to pieces ; and Conde, with two regi- 
 ments of French and Lorrainers, alone sustained the efforts of 
 Turenne's army ; and, while the archduke was flying, he defeated 
 the Marshal de Hoquincourt, repulsed the Marshal de la Ferte, 
 and retreated victoriously himself, by covering the retreat of 
 the vanquished Spaniards. The King of Spain, in his letter to 
 him after this engagement, had these words : " I have been in- 
 formed th?«- everything was lost, and that you have recovered 
 everything." 
 
80 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 use of an advantage. The army commanded by 
 Monsieur de Turenne was considerably weaker 
 than that of the enemy ; it was, likewise, the only 
 resource they had to depend upon. If this army 
 was defeated, the loss of Arras was not the only 
 misfortune to be dreaded. 
 
 The cardinal, whose genius was happily adapted 
 to such junctures, where deceitful negotiations 
 could extricate him out of difficulties, was filled 
 with terror at the sight of imminent danger or of 
 a decisive event ; he was of opinion to lay siege 
 to some other place, the capture of which might 
 prove an indemnification for the loss of Arras ; 
 but Monsieur de Turenne, who was altogether of 
 a different opinion from the cardinal, resolved to 
 march toward the enemy, and did not acquaint 
 him with his intentions until he was upon his 
 march. The courier arrived in the midst of his 
 distress, and redoubled his apprehensions and 
 alarms ; but there was then no remedy. 
 
 The marshal, whose great reputation had gained 
 him the confidence of the troops, had determined 
 upon his measures before an express order from 
 the court could prevent him. This was one of 
 those occasions in which the difficulties you en- 
 counter heighten the glory of success. Though 
 the general's capacity, in some measure, afforded 
 comfort to the court, they nevertheless were upon 
 the eve of an event, which in one way or other 
 must terminate both their hopes and their fears. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 81 
 
 While the rest of the courtiers were giving various 
 opinions concerning the issue, the Chevalier de 
 Grammont determined to be an eye-witness of it, 
 — a resolution which greatly surprised the court ; 
 for those who had seen as many actions as he 
 had seemed to be exempted from such eager- 
 ness ; but it was in vain that his friends opposed 
 his resolutions. 
 
 The king was pleased with his intention, and 
 the queen appeared no less satisfied. He assured 
 her that he would bring her good news ; and she 
 promised to embrace him, if he was as good as his 
 word. The cardinal made the same promise. To 
 the latter, however, he did not pay much atten- 
 tion ; yet he believed it sincere, because the 
 keeping of it would cost him nothing. 
 
 He set out in the dusk of the evening with 
 Caseau, whom Monsieur de Turenne had sent 
 express to their Majesties. The Duke of York x 
 and the Marquis d'Humieres 2 commanded under 
 the marshal ; the latter was upon duty when the 
 chevalier arrived, it being scarce daylight. The 
 Duke of York did not at first recollect him ; but 
 
 1 Priorato, in his " Memoirs of Cardinal Mazarin," mentions 
 other Englishmen besides the Duke of York being present ; as 
 Lords Gerrard, Barclay, and Jermyn, with others. — Memoirs, 
 i2mo, 1673, tome i., part 3, p. 365. 
 
 1 Louis de Crevans, Marechal of France. He died 1694. 
 Voltaire says of him, that he was the first who, at the siege of 
 Arras, in 1658, was served in silver in the trenches, and had 
 ragouts and entremets served up to his table. 
 
82 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the Marquis d'Humieres, running to him with 
 open arms, "I thought," said he, "if any man 
 came from court to pay us a visit upon such an 
 occasion as this, it would be the Chevalier de 
 Grammont. Well," continued he, "what are they 
 doing at Peronne ? " "They are in great con- 
 sternation," replied the chevalier. " And what do 
 they think of us ? " " They think," said he, " that 
 if you beat the prince, you will do no more than 
 your duty ; if you are beaten, they will think you 
 fools and madmen, thus to have risked everything, 
 without considering the consequences." "Truly," 
 said the marquis, " you bring us very ccmfortable 
 news. Will you now go to Monsieur de Turenne's 
 quarters, to acquaint him with it ; or will you 
 choose rather to repose yourself in mine? for 
 you have been riding post all last night, and per- 
 haps did not experience much rest in the preced- 
 ing." "Where have you heard that the Chevalier 
 de Grammont had ever any occasion for sleep?" 
 replied he. " Only order me a horse, that I may 
 have the honour to attend the Duke of York ; for, 
 most likely, he is not in the field so early, except 
 to visit some posts." 
 
 The advanced guard was only at cannon-shot 
 from that of the enemy. As soon as they arrived 
 there, " I should like," said the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, "to advance as far as the sentry which is 
 posted on that eminence. I have some friends and 
 acquaintance in their army, whom I should wish to 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 83 
 
 inquire after ; I hope the Duke of York will give me 
 permission." At these words he advanced. The 
 sentry, seeing him come forward directly to his 
 post, stood upon his guard ; the chevalier stopped 
 as soon as he was within shot of him. The sentry 
 answered the sign which was made to him, and 
 made another to the officer, who had began to 
 advance as soon as he had seen the chevalier come 
 forward, and was soon up with him ; but seeing 
 the Chevalier de Grammont alone, he made no 
 difficulty to let him approach. He desired leave 
 of this officer to inquire after some relations he 
 had in their army, and at the same time asked if 
 the Duke d'Arscot was at the siege. " Sir," said 
 he, "there he is, just alighted under those trees, 
 which you see on the left of our grand guard ; it 
 is hardly a minute since he was here with the 
 Prince d'Aremberg, his brother, the Baron de 
 Limbec, and Louvigny." " May I see them upon 
 parole ? " said the chevalier. " Sir," said he, " if I 
 were allowed to quit my post, I would do myself 
 the honour of accompanying you thither ; but I 
 will send to acquaint them that the Chevalier de 
 Grammont desires to speak to them ; " and, after 
 having despatched one of his guard toward them, 
 he returned. " Sir," said the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, " may I take the liberty to inquire how I 
 came to be known to you ? " " Is it impossible," 
 said the other, " that the Chevalier de Grammont 
 should forget La Motte, who had the honour to 
 
84 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 serve so long in his regiment ? " " What ! is it 
 you, my good friend, La Motte ? Truly, I was to 
 blame for not remembering you, though you are in 
 a dress very different from that which I first saw 
 you in at Bruxelles, when you taught the Duchess 
 of Guise to dance the triolets ; and I am afraid 
 your affairs are not in so flourishing a condition as 
 they were the campaign after I had given you the 
 company you mention." They were talking in 
 this manner, when the Duke d'Arscot, followed by 
 the gentlemen above mentioned, came up on full 
 gallop. The Chevalier de Grammont was saluted 
 by the whole company before he could say a word. 
 Soon after arrived an immense number of others 
 of his acquaintance, with many people, out of curi- 
 osity, on both sides, who, seeing him upon the 
 eminence, assembled together with the greatest 
 eagerness ; so that the two armies, without design, 
 without truce, and without fraud, were going to 
 join in conversation, if, by chance, Monsieur de 
 Turenne had not perceived it at a distance. The 
 sight surprised him ; he hastened that way ; and 
 the Marquis d'Humieres acquainted him with the 
 arrival of the Chevalier de Grammont, who wished 
 to speak to the sentry before he went to the head- 
 quarters. He added that he could not comprehend 
 how the devil he had managed to assemble both 
 armies around him, for it was hardly a minute 
 since he had left him. " Truly," said Monsieur de 
 Turenne, " he is a very extraordinary man ; but it 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 85 
 
 is only reasonable that he should let us now have 
 a little of his company, since he has paid his first 
 visit to the enemy." At these words he despatched 
 an aid-de-camp, to recall the officers of his army, 
 and to acquaint the Chevalier de Grammont with 
 his impatience to see him. 
 
 This order arrived at the same time, with one 
 of the same nature, to the enemy's officers. The 
 Prince de Conde, being informed of this peaceable 
 interview, was not the least surprised at it, when 
 he heard that it was occasioned by the arrival of 
 the Chevalier de Grammont. He only gave Lus- 
 san orders to recall the officers, and to desire the 
 chevalier to meet him at the same place the next 
 day ; which the chevalier promised to do, provided 
 Monsieur de Turenne should approve of it, as he 
 made no doubt he would. 
 
 His reception in the king's army was equally 
 agreeable as that which he had experienced from 
 the enemy. Monsieur de Turenne esteemed him 
 no less for his frankness than for the poignancy of 
 his wit. He took it very kindly that he was the 
 only courtier who came to see him in a time so 
 critical as the present. The questions which he 
 asked him about the court were not so much for 
 information, as to divert himself with his manner 
 of relating their different apprehensions and alarms. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont advised him to beat 
 the enemy, if he did not choose to be answerable 
 for an enterprise which he had undertaken without 
 
86 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 consulting the cardinal. Monsieur de Turenne 
 promised him he would exert himself to the ut- 
 most to follow his advice, and assured him that, 
 if he succeeded, he would make the queen keep 
 her word with him ; and concluded with saying 
 that he was not sorry the Prince de Conde had 
 expressed a desire to see him. His measures 
 were taken for an attack upon the lines. On this 
 subject he discoursed in private with the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, and concealed nothing from him 
 except the time of execution ; but this was all to 
 no purpose ; for the chevalier had seen too much, 
 not to judge, from his own knowledge, and the 
 observations he had made, that from the situation 
 of the army the attack could be no longer deferred. 
 He set out the next day for his rendezvous, 
 attended by a trumpet, and found the prince at 
 the place which Monsieur de Lussan had described 
 to him the evening before. As soon as he alighted, 
 " Is it possible," said the prince, embracing him, 
 " that this can be the Chevalier de Grammont, and 
 that I should see him in the contrary party ? " " It 
 is you, my lord, whom I see there," replied the 
 chevalier, "and I refer it to yourself, whether it 
 was the fault of the Chevalier de Grammont, or 
 your own, that we now embrace different inter- 
 ests." "I must confess," said the prince, "that 
 if there are some who have abandoned me like 
 base, ungrateful wretches, you have left me, as I 
 left myself, like a man of honour, who thinks him- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 87 
 
 self in the right ; but let us forget all cause of 
 resentment, and tell me what was your motive for 
 coming here, you, whom I thought at Peronne with 
 the court ? " " Must I tell you ? " said he ; " why, 
 faith then, I came to save your life. I knew that 
 you cannot help being in the midst of the enemy 
 in a day of battle; it is only necessary for your 
 horse to be shot under you, and to be taken in 
 arms, to meet with the same treatment from this 
 cardinal as your uncle Montmorency ' did from the 
 other. I come, therefore, to hold a horse in readi- 
 ness for you in case of a similar misfortune, that 
 you may not lose your head." " It is not the first 
 time," said the prince, smiling, "that you have ren- 
 dered me this service, though the being taken pris- 
 oner at that time could not have been so dangerous 
 to me as now." 
 
 From this conversation they passed to more en- 
 tertaining subjects. The prince asked him many 
 questions concerning the court, the ladies, play, 
 and about his amours ; and returning insensibly to 
 the present situation of affairs, the chevalier hav- 
 ing inquired after some officers of his acquaintance, 
 who had remained with him, the prince told him that 
 if he chose he might go to the lines, where he would 
 have an opportunity not only of seeing those whom 
 he inquired after, but likewise the disposition of 
 
 1 Henry, Duke of Montmorency, who was taken prisoner first 
 September, 1692, and had his head struck off at Toulouse in the 
 month of November following. 
 
88 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the quarters and entrenchments. To this he con- 
 sented, and the prince having shown him all the 
 works and attended him back to their rendezvous, 
 "Well, chevalier," said he, "when do you think 
 we shall see you again ? " " Faith," replied he, 
 "you have used me so handsomely that I shall 
 conceal nothing from you. Hold yourself in 
 readiness an hour before daybreak ; for, you may 
 depend upon it, we shall attack you to-morrow 
 morning. I would not have acquainted you with 
 this, perhaps, had I been entrusted with the secret, 
 but, nevertheless, in the present case you may 
 believe me." "You are still the same man," said 
 the prince, again embracing him. The chevalier 
 returned to Monsieur de Turenne's camp toward 
 night ; every preparation was then making for the 
 attack of the lines, and it was no longer a secret 
 among the troops. 
 
 " Well, Monsieur le Chevalier, were they all very 
 glad to see you ? " said Monsieur de Turenne ; " the 
 prince, no doubt, received you with the greatest 
 kindness, and asked a great number of questions ? " 
 " He has shown me all the civility imaginable," re- 
 plied the chevalier ; " and, to convince me he did 
 not take me for a spy, he led me around the lines 
 and entrenchments, and showed me the prepara- 
 tions he had made for your reception." " And 
 what is his opinion ? " said the marshal. " He is 
 persuaded that you will attack him to-night, or 
 to-morrow by daybreak ; for you great captains," 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 89 
 
 continued the chevalier, " see through each other's 
 designs in a wonderful manner." 
 
 Monsieur de Turenne, with pleasure, received 
 this commendation from a man who was not in- 
 discriminately accustomed to bestow praise. He 
 communicated to him the disposition of the attack ; 
 and at the same time acquainted him that he was 
 very happy that a man who had seen so many 
 actions was to be present at this ; and that he 
 esteemed it no small advantage to have the ben- 
 efit of his advice, but as he believed that the 
 remaining part of the night would be hardly suf- 
 ficient for his repose, after having passed the 
 former without any refreshment, he consigned 
 him to the Marquis d'Humieres, who provided 
 him with a supper and a lodging. 
 
 The next day the lines of Arras were attacked, 
 wherein Monsieur de Turenne, being victorious, 
 added additional lustre to his former glory ; and 
 the Prince de Conde, though vanquished, lost 
 nothing of his former reputation. 
 
 There are so many accounts of this celebrated 
 battle, that to mention it here would be altogether 
 superfluous. The Chevalier de Grammont, who, 
 as a volunteer, was permitted to go into every part, 
 has given a better description of it than any other 
 person. Monsieur de Turenne reaped great advan- 
 tage from that activity which never forsook the 
 chevalier either in peace or war ; and that pres- 
 ence of mind which enabled him to carry orders, 
 
9° COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 as coming from the general, so very apropos, that 
 Monsieur de Turenne, otherwise very particular 
 in such matters, thanked him, when the battle 
 was over, in the presence of all his officers, and 
 despatched him to court with the first news of his 
 success. 
 
 All that is generally necessary in these expedi- 
 tions is to be accustomed to hard riding, and to be 
 well provided with fresh horses, but he had a great 
 many other obstacles to surmount. In the first 
 place, the parties of the enemy were dispersed 
 over all the country, and obstructed his passage. 
 Then he had to prepare against greedy and officious 
 courtiers, who, on such occasions, post themselves 
 in all the avenues, in order to cheat the poor cour- 
 ier out of his news. However, his address preserved 
 him from the one, and deceived the others. 
 
 He had taken eight or ten troopers, commanded 
 by an officer of his acquaintance, to escort him 
 half-way to Bapaume, 1 being persuaded that the 
 greatest danger would lie between the camp and 
 the first stage. He had not proceeded a league 
 before he was convinced of the truth of what he 
 suspected, and turning to the officer, who followed 
 him closely, " If you are not well mounted," said 
 he, " I would advise you to return to the camp ; for 
 
 1 A fortified town in Artois, seated in a barren country, with- 
 out rivers or springs, and having an old palace, which gave rise 
 to the town, wijh a particular governor of its own, a royal and 
 forest court. In 1641 the French took it from the Spaniards. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 91 
 
 my part, I shall set spurs to my horse, and make 
 the best of my way." " Sir," said the officer, " I 
 hope I shall be able to keep you company, at 
 whatever rate you go, until you are out of all 
 danger." " I doubt that," replied the chevalier, 
 " for those gentlemen there seem prepared to pay 
 us a visit." "Don't you see," said the officer, 
 " they are some of our own people who are graz- 
 ing their horses?" "No," said the chevalier; 
 " but I see very well that they are some of the 
 enemy's troopers." Upon which, observing to 
 him that they were mounting, he ordered the 
 horsemen that escorted him to prepare themselves 
 to make a diversion, and he himself set off full 
 speed toward Bapaume. 
 
 He was mounted upon a very swift English 
 horse ; but having entangled himself in a hollow 
 way where the ground was deep and miry, he soon 
 had the troopers at his heels, who, supposing him 
 to be some officer of rank, would not be deceived, 
 but continued to pursue him, without paying any 
 attention to the others. The best mounted of the 
 party began to draw near him ; for the English 
 horses, swift as the wind on even ground, pro- 
 ceeded but very indifferently in bad roads ; the 
 trooper presented his carbine, and cried out to him, 
 at some distance, " Good quarter." The Chevalier 
 de Grammont, who perceived that they gained 
 upon him, and that, whatever efforts his horse 
 made in such heavy ground, he must be overtaken 
 
92 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 at last, immediately quitted the road to Bapaume, 
 and took a causeway to the left, which led quite a 
 different way ; as soon as he had gained it, he drew 
 up, as if to hear the proposal of the trooper, which 
 afforded his horse an opportunity of recovering 
 himself ; while his enemy, mistaking his intention, 
 and thinking that he only waited to surrender, 
 immediately exerted every effort, that he might 
 take him before the rest of his companions, who 
 were following, could arrive, and by this means 
 almost killed his horse. 
 
 One minute's reflection made the chevalier con- 
 sider what a disagreeable adventure it would be, 
 thus coming from so glorious a victory, and the 
 dangers of a battle so warmly disputed, to be taken 
 by a set of scoundrels who had not been in it, and, 
 instead of being received in triumph, and embraced 
 by a great queen for the important news with 
 which he was charged, to see himself stripped by 
 the vanquished. 
 
 During this short meditation, the trooper who 
 followed him was arrived within shot, and still pre- 
 senting his carbine offered him good quarter, but 
 the Chevalier de Grammont, to whom this offer 
 and the manner in which it was made were equally 
 displeasing, made a sign to him to lower his piece ; 
 and perceiving his horse to be in wind he lowered 
 his hand, rode off like lightning, and left the 
 trooper in such astonishment that he even forgot 
 to fire at him. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 93 
 
 As soon as he arrived at Bapaume he changed 
 horses ; the commander of this place showed him 
 the greatest respect, assuring him that no person 
 had yet passed ; that he would keep the secret, 
 and that he would retain all that followed him, 
 except the couriers of Monsieur de Turenne. 
 
 He now had only to guard against those who 
 would be watching for him about the environs of 
 Peronne, to return as soon as they saw him, and 
 carry his news to court, without being acquainted 
 with any of the particulars. He knew very well 
 that Marshal du Plessis, Marshal de Villeroy, and 
 Gaboury, had boasted of this to the cardinal before 
 his departure. Wherefore, to elude this snare, he 
 hired two well-mounted horsemen at Bapaume, and 
 as soon as he had got a league from that place, 
 and after giving them each two louis d'ors, to se- 
 cure their fidelity, he ordered them to ride on 
 before, to appear very much terrified, and to tell 
 all those who should ask them any questions, 
 " that all was lost, that the Chevalier de Grammont 
 had stopped at Bapaume, having no great inclina- 
 tion to be the messenger of ill news ; and that as 
 for themselves, they had been pursued by the 
 enemy's troopers, who were spread over the whole 
 country since the defeat." 
 
 Everything succeeded to his wish : the horsemen 
 were intercepted by Gaboury, whose eagerness had 
 outstripped the two marshals ; but whatever ques- 
 tions were asked them, they acted their parts so 
 
94 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 well that Peronne was already in consternation, and 
 rumours of the defeat were whispered among the 
 courtiers, when the Chevalier de Grammont arrived. 
 
 Nothing so enhances the value of good news as 
 when a false alarm of bad has preceded ; yet, 
 though the chevalier's was accompanied with this 
 advantage, none but their Majesties received it with 
 that transport of joy it deserved. 
 
 The queen kept her promise to him in the most 
 fascinating manner : she embraced him before the 
 whole court ; the king appeared no less delighted ; 
 but the cardinal, whether with the view of lessen- 
 ing the merit of an action which deserved a hand- 
 some reward, or whether it was from a return of 
 that insolence which always accompanied him in 
 prosperity, appeared at first not to pay any atten- 
 tion to what he said, and being afterward informed 
 that the lines had been forced, that the Spanish 
 army was beaten, and that Arras was relieved, 
 " Is the Prince de Conde taken ? " said he. " No," 
 replied the Chevalier de Grammont. " He is dead, 
 then, I suppose ? " said the cardinal. " Not so, 
 neither," answered the chevalier. " Fine news 
 indeed ! " said the cardinal, with an air of contempt ; 
 and at these words he went into the queen's cabi- 
 net with their Majesties. And happy it was for 
 the chevalier that he did so, for without doubt he 
 would have given him some severe reply, 1 in resent- 
 
 1 This spirit seems not always to have attended him in his 
 transactions with the cardinal. On the occasion of the entry of 
 
THE QUEEN EMBRACES GRAMMONT BEFORE THE COURT 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 95 
 
 ment for those two fine questions, and the conclu- 
 sion he had drawn from them. 
 
 The court was filled with the cardinal's spies. 
 The chevalier, as is usual on such an occasion, was 
 surrounded by a crowd of courtiers and inquisitive 
 people, and he was very glad to ease himself of 
 some part of the load which laid heavy on his 
 heart, within the hearing of the cardinal's crea- 
 tures, and which he would perhaps have told him 
 to his face. " Faith, gentlemen," said he, with a 
 sneer, "there is nothing like being zealous and 
 eager in the service of kings and great princes ; 
 you have seen what a gracious reception his Maj- 
 esty has given me ; you are likewise witnesses in 
 what an obliging manner the queen kept her 
 promise with me ; but as for the cardinal, he has 
 received my news as if he gained no more by it 
 than he did by the death of Peter Mazarin." ' 
 
 This was sufficient to terrify all those who were 
 sincerely attached to him, and the best es- 
 tablished fortune would have been ruined at some 
 period by a jest much less severe ; for it was de- 
 
 the king in 1660, " Le Chevalier de Grammont, Rouville, Belle- 
 fonds, and some other courtiers, attended in the cardinal's suite, 
 a degree of flattery which astonished everybody who knew him. 
 I was informed that the chevalier wore a very rich orange- 
 coloured dress on that occasion." — Lettres de Maintenon, tome 
 i., p. 32. 
 
 1 Peter Mazarin was father to the cardinal. He was a native 
 of Palermo in Sicily, which place he left in order to settle at 
 Rome, where he died in the year 1654. 
 
96 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 livered in the presence of witnesses, who were 
 only desirous of having an opportunity of repre- 
 senting it in its utmost malignancy, to make a 
 merit of their vigilance with a powerful and 
 absolute minister. Of this the Chevalier de 
 Grammont was thoroughly convinced ; yet, what- 
 ever detriment he foresaw might arise from it, 
 he could not help being much pleased with what 
 he had said. 
 
 The spies very faithfully discharged their duty ; 
 however, the affair took a very different turn from 
 what they expected. The next day, when the 
 Chevalier de Grammont was present while their 
 Majesties were at dinner, the cardinal came in, 
 and coming up to him, everybody making way 
 for him out of respect, " Chevalier," said he, 
 " the news which you have brought is very good, 
 their Majesties are very well satisfied with it ; 
 and to convince you it is more advantageous to 
 me than the death of Peter Mazarin, if you will 
 come and dine with me we will have some play 
 together ; for the queen will give us something 
 to play for, over and above her first promise." 
 
 In this manner did the Chevalier de Grammont 
 dare to provoke a powerful minister, and this was 
 all the resentment which the least vindictive of all 
 statesmen expressed on the occasion. It was in- 
 deed very unusual for so young a man to rever- 
 ence the authority of ministers no further than as 
 they were themselves respectable by their merit ; 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 97 
 
 for this, his own breast, as well as the whole 
 court, applauded him, and he enjoyed the satis- 
 faction of being the only man who durst preserve 
 the least shadow of liberty in a general state of 
 servitude ; but it was perhaps owing to the cardi- 
 nal's passing over this insult with impunity that 
 he afterward drew upon himself some difficulties, 
 by other rash expressions less fortunate in the 
 event. 
 
 In the meantime the court returned. The car- 
 dinal, who was sensible that he could no longer 
 keep his master in a state of tutelage, being him- 
 self worn out with cares and sickness, and having 
 amassed treasures he knew not what to do with, 
 and being sufficiently loaded with the weight of 
 public odium, he turned all his thoughts toward 
 terminating, in a manner the most advantageous 
 for France, a ministry which had so cruelly shaken 
 that kingdom. Thus, while he was earnestly lay- 
 ing the foundations of a peace so ardently wished 
 for, pleasure and plenty began to reign at court. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont experienced for a 
 long time a variety of fortune in love and gaming. 
 He was esteemed by the courtiers, beloved by 
 beauties whom he neglected, and a dangerous 
 favourite of those whom he admired ; more success- 
 ful in play than in his amours ; but the one in- 
 demnifying him for want of success in the other, 
 he was always full of life and spirits ; and in all 
 transactions of importance, always a man of honour. 
 
98 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 It is a pity that we must be forced here to 
 interrupt the course of his history, by an interval 
 of some years, as has been already done at the 
 commencement of these memoirs. In a life where 
 the most minute circumstances are always singular 
 and diverting, we can meet with no chasm which 
 does not afford regret ; but whether he did not 
 think them worthy of holding a place among his 
 other adventures, or that he has only preserved 
 a confused idea of them, we must pass to the 
 parts of these fragments which are better ascer- 
 tained, that we may arrive at the subject of 
 his journey to England. 
 
 The peace of the Pyrenees, 1 the king's mar- 
 riage, 2 the return of the Prince de Conde, 3 and 
 the death of the cardinal, gave a new face to the 
 state. The eyes of the whole nation were fixed 
 upon Louis XIV., who, for nobleness of mien, and 
 gracefulness of person, had no equal ; but it was 
 not then known that he was possessed of those 
 superior abilities, which, filling his subjects with 
 admiration, in the end made him so formidable 
 to Europe. Love and ambition, the invisible 
 springs of the intrigues and cabals of all courts, 
 attentively observed his first steps ; pleasure prom- 
 
 1 This treaty was concluded 7th November, 1659. 
 
 * Louis XIV. with Maria Theresa of Austria. She was born 
 20th September, 1638, married 1st June, 1660, and entered 
 Paris 26th August following. She died at Versailles, 30th July, 
 1683, and was buried at St. Denis. 
 
 * nth April. See De Retz's " Memoirs," vol. iii., p. 119. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 99 
 
 ised herself an absolute empire over a prince who 
 had been kept in ignorance of the necessary rules 
 of government, and ambition had no hopes of 
 reigning in the court except in the minds of those 
 who were able to dispute the management of affairs ; 
 when men were surprised to see the king on a 
 sudden display such brilliant abilities, which pru- 
 dence, in some measure necessary, had so long 
 obliged him to conceal. 
 
 An application, inimical to the pleasures which 
 generally attract that age, and which unlimited 
 power very seldom refuses, attached him solely 
 to the cares of government. All admired this 
 wonderful change, but all did not find their ac- 
 count in it ; the great lost their consequence 
 before an absolute master, and the courtiers ap- 
 proached with reverential awe the sole object of 
 their respects and the sole master of their for- 
 tunes ; those who had conducted themselves like 
 petty tyrants in the provinces, and on the frontiers, 
 were now no more than governors ; favours, accord- 
 ing to the king's pleasure, were sometimes con- 
 ferred on merit, and sometimes for services done 
 the state ; but to importune, or to menace the 
 court, was no longer the method to obtain them. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont regarded his mas- 
 ter's attention to the affairs of state as a prodigy. 
 He could not conceive how he could submit at his 
 age to the rules he prescribed himself, or that he 
 should give up so many hours of pleasure, to 
 
ioo COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 devote them to the tiresome duties and laborious 
 functions of government ; but he blessed the Lord 
 that henceforward no more homage was to be 
 paid, no more court to be made, but to him alone, 
 to whom they were justly due. Disdaining as he 
 did the servile adoration usually paid to a minis- 
 ter, he could never crouch before the power of the 
 two cardinals who succeeded each other ; he neither 
 worshipped the arbitrary power of the one, nor 
 gave his approbation to the artifices of the other ; 
 he had never received anything from Cardinal 
 Richelieu but an abbey, which, on account of his 
 rank, could not be refused him ; and he never 
 acquired anything from Mazarin but what he won 
 of him at play. 
 
 By many years' experience under an able general 
 he had acquired a talent for war ; but this during 
 a general peace was of no further service to him. 
 He therefore thought that, in the midst of a court 
 flourishing in beauties and abounding in wealth, he 
 could not employ himself better than in endeavour- 
 ing to gain the good opinion of his master, in 
 making the best use of those advantages which 
 nature had given him for play, and in putting in 
 practice new stratagems in love. 
 
 He succeeded very well in the first two of these 
 projects, and as he had from that time laid it down 
 as the rule of his conduct to attach himself solely 
 to the king in all his views of preferment, to have 
 no regard for favour unless when it was supported 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 101 
 
 by merit, to make himself beloved by the courtiers 
 and feared by the minister, to dare to undertake 
 anything in order to do good, and to engage in 
 nothing at the expense of innocence, he soon 
 became one in all the king's parties of pleasure, 
 without gaining the ill-will of the courtiers. In 
 play he was successful, in love unfortunate ; or, to 
 speak more properly, his restlessness and jealousy 
 overcame his natural prudence, in a situation 
 wherein he had most occasion for it. La Motte 
 Agencourt was one of the maids of honour to the 
 queen dowager, and, though no sparkling beauty, 
 she had drawn away lovers from the celebrated 
 Meneville. 1 It was sufficient in those days for 
 the king to cast his eye upon a young lady of 
 the court to inspire her with hopes, and often 
 
 1 These two ladies at this period seem to have made a 
 distinguished figure in the annals of gallantry. One of their 
 contemporaries mentions them in these terms : " In this case, 
 perhaps, I can give a better account than most people ; as, for 
 instance, they had raised a report, when the queen-mother ex- 
 pelled Mile, de la Motte Agencourt, that it was on his score, 
 when I am assured, upon very good grounds, that it was for 
 entertaining the Marquis de Richelieu against her Majesty's ex- 
 press command. This lady, who was one of her maids of honour, 
 was a person whom I was particularly acquainted with ; and that 
 so much, as I was supposed to have a passion for her. She was 
 counted one of the finest women of the court, and therefore 
 I was not at all displeased to have it thought so ; for except 
 Mile, de Meneville (who had her admirers), there was none that 
 could pretend to dispute it." — Memoirs of the Comte de Roche- 
 fort, 1696, p. 210. See also Anquetil, " Louis XVI. sa Cour 
 et le Regent," tome i., p. 46. 
 
102 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 with tender sentiments ; but if he spoke to her 
 more than once, the courtiers took it for granted, 
 and those who had either pretensions to, or love 
 for her, respectfully withdrew both the one and the 
 other, and afterward only paid her respect ; but the 
 Chevalier de Grammont thought fit to act quite 
 otherwise, perhaps to preserve a singularity of 
 character, which upon the present occasion was 
 of no avail. 
 
 He had never before thought of her, but as 
 soon as he found that she was honoured with the 
 king's attention, he was of opinion that she was 
 likewise deserving of his. Having attached him- 
 self to her, he soon became very troublesome, 
 without convincing her he was much in love. She 
 grew weary of his persecutions, but he would not 
 desist, neither on account of her ill-treatment nor 
 of her threats. This conduct of his at first made 
 no great noise, because she was in hopes that 
 he would change his behaviour, but finding him 
 rashly persist in it, she complained of him ; and 
 then it was that he perceived that if love renders 
 all conditions equal, it is not so between rivals. 
 He was banished the court, and not finding any 
 place in France which could console him for what 
 he most regretted, — the presence and sight of his 
 prince, — after having made some slight reflections 
 upon his disgrace, and bestowed a few impreca- 
 tions against her who was the cause of it, he at 
 last formed the resolution of visiting England. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 ;URIOSITY to see a man equally famous 
 for his crimes and his elevation, had 
 once before induced the Chevalier de 
 Grammont to visit England. Reasons of state 
 assume great privileges. Whatever appears ad- 
 vantageous is lawful, and everything that is neces- 
 sary is honourable in politics. While the King of 
 England sought the protection of Spain in the Low 
 Countries, and that of the States-General in Hol- 
 land, other powers sent splendid embassies to 
 Cromwell. 
 
 This man, whose ambition had opened him a 
 way to sovereign power by the greatest crimes, 
 maintained himself in it by accomplishments 
 which seemed to render him worthy of it by 
 their lustre. The nation, of all Europe the least 
 submissive, patiently bore a yoke which did not 
 even leave her the shadow of that liberty of which 
 she is so jealous ; and Cromwell, master of the 
 Commonwealth, under the title of Protector, feared 
 at home, but yet more dreaded abroad, was at his 
 highest pitch of glory when he was seen by the 
 Chevalier de Grammont ; but the chevalier did 
 i°3 
 
104 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 not see any appearance of a court. One part of 
 the nobility proscribed, the other removed from 
 employments ; an affectation of purity of manners 
 instead of the luxury which the pomp of courts 
 displays, all taken together, presented nothing but 
 sad and serious objects in the finest city in the 
 world ; and therefore the chevalier acquired noth- 
 ing by this voyage but the idea of some merit in 
 a profligate man, and the admiration of some con- 
 cealed beauties he had found means to discover. 
 
 Affairs wore quite a different appearance at his 
 second voyage. The joy for the restoration of 
 the royal family still appeared in all parts. The 
 nation, fond of change and novelty, tasted the 
 pleasure of a natural government, and seemed to 
 breathe again after a long oppression. In short, 
 the same people who, by a solemn abjuration, 
 had excluded even the posterity of their lawful 
 sovereign, exhausted themselves in festivals and 
 rejoicings for his return. 1 
 
 1 Bishop Burnet confirms this account. " With the restora- 
 tion of the king," says he, " a spirit of extravagant joy spread 
 over the nation, that brought on with it the throwing off the 
 very professions of virtue and piety. All ended in entertain- 
 ments and drunkenness which overrun the three kingdoms to 
 such a degree that it very much corrupted all their morals. 
 Under the colour of drinking the king's health, there were great 
 disorders, and much riot everywhere ; and the pretences of reli- 
 gion, both in those of the hypocritical sort, and of the more 
 honest, but no less pernicious enthusiasts, gave great advantages, 
 as well as they furnished much matter to the profane mockers of 
 true piety." — History of his Own Times, vol. i., p. 127, 8vo. edit. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 105 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont arrived about two 
 years after the restoration. The reception he met 
 with in this court soon made him forget the other ; 
 and the engagements he in the end contracted in 
 England lessened the regret he had in leaving 
 France. 
 
 This was a desirable retreat for an exile of his 
 disposition. Everything flattered his taste, and 
 if the adventures he had in this country were 
 not the most considerable, they were at least 
 the most agreeable of his life. But before we 
 relate them it will not be improper to give 
 some account of the English court as it was at 
 that period. 
 
 The necessity of affairs had exposed Charles II. 
 from his earliest youth to the toils and perils of a 
 bloody war. The fate of the king, his father, had 
 left him for inheritance nothing but his misfor- 
 tunes and disgraces. They overtook him every- 
 where ; but it was not until he had struggled with 
 his ill-fortune to the last extremity that he sub- 
 mitted to the decrees of Providence. 
 
 All those who were either great on account of 
 their birth or their loyalty had followed him into 
 exile ; and all the young persons of the greatest 
 
 Voltaire says King Charles " was received at Dover by twenty 
 thousand of his subjects, who fell upon their knees before him ; 
 and I have been told by some old men who were of this number, 
 that hardly any of those who were present could refrain from 
 tears." — Age of Louis XIV., chap. 5. 
 
106 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 distinction, having afterward joined him, composed 
 a court worthy of a better fate. 
 
 Plenty and prosperity, which are thought to 
 tend only to corrupt manners, found nothing to 
 spoil in an indigent and wandering court. Neces- 
 sity, on the contrary, which produces a thousand 
 advantages whether we will or no, served them 
 for education, and nothing was to be seen among 
 them but an emulation in glory, politeness, and 
 virtue. 
 
 With this little court, in such high esteem for 
 merit, the King of England returned two years 
 prior to the period we mention, to ascend a throne 
 which, to all appearances, he was to fill as worthily 
 as the most glorious of his predecessors. The 
 magnificence displayed on this occasion was re- 
 newed at his coronation. 1 
 
 The death of the Duke of Gloucester, 2 and of 
 
 1 There is some reason to believe that the Count de Gram- 
 mont, whose circumstances at his first arrival at the court of 
 Britain were inferior to his rank, endeavoured to distinguish 
 himself by his literary acquirements. A scarce little book, in 
 Latin and French, upon the coronation, has been ascribed to 
 him with some probability. 
 
 2 This event took place September 3, 1660. He died of the 
 smallpox. " Though mankind," as Mr. Macpherson observes, 
 " are apt to exaggerate the virtues of princes who happen to die 
 in early youth, their praises seem to have done no more than 
 justice to the character of Gloucester. He joined in himself the 
 best qualities of both his brothers : the understanding and good 
 nature of Charles to the industry and application of James. The 
 facility of the first was in him a judicious moderation. The ob- 
 stinacy of the latter was in Gloucester a manly firmness of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 107 
 
 the princess royal,' which followed soon after, 
 had interrupted the course of this splendour by a 
 tedious mourning, which they quitted at last to 
 
 mind. Attached to the religion, and a friend to the constitution, 
 of his country, he was most regretted, when his family regarded 
 these the least. The vulgar, who crowd with eminent virtues 
 and great actions the years which fate denies to their favourites, 
 foresaw future misfortunes in his death ; and even the judicious 
 supposed that the measures of Charles might have derived solid- 
 ity from his judgment and promising parts. The king lamented 
 his death with all the vehemence of an affectionate sorrow." 
 The Duke of York was much affected with the loss of a brother, 
 whose high merit he much admired. " He was a prince," says 
 James, "of the greatest hopes, undaunted courage, admirable 
 parts, and a clear understanding." He had a particular talent 
 at languages. Besides the Latin, he was master of the French, 
 the Spanish, the Italian, and Low Dutch. He was, in short, 
 possessed of all the natural qualities, as well as acquired accom- 
 plishments, necessary to make a great prince. — Macphersoris 
 History of Great Britain, ch. i. Bishop Burnet's character of 
 this young prince is also very favourable. See " History of his 
 Own Times," vol. i. p. 238. ' 
 
 1 Mary, eldest daughter of Charles I., born November 4, 
 1626, married to the Prince of Orange, 2d May, 1641, who died 
 27th October, 1650. She arrived in England, September 23d, 
 and died of the smallpox, December 24, 1660, — according to 
 Bishop Burnet, not much lamented. " She had lived," says the 
 author, " in her widowhood for some years with great reputation, 
 kept a decent court, and supported her brothers very liberally, 
 and lived within bounds. But her mother, who had the art of 
 making herself believe anything she had a mind to, upon a con- 
 versation with the Queen-mother of France, fancied the King of 
 France might be inclined to marry her. So she wrote to her to 
 come to Paris. In order to that, she made an equipage far 
 above what she could support. So she ran herself into debt, 
 sold all her jewels, and some estates that were in her power as 
 her son's guardian ; and was not only disappointed of that vain 
 
108 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 prepare for the reception of the Infanta of Portu- 
 gal.' 
 
 It was in the height of the rejoicings they were 
 making for this new queen, in all the splendour of 
 a brilliant court, that the Chevalier de Grammont 
 arrived to contribute to its magnificence and 
 diversions. 
 
 Accustomed as he was to the grandeur of the 
 court of France, he was surprised at the politeness 
 and splendour of the court of England. The king 
 was inferior to none, 2 either in shape or air ; his 
 
 expectation, but fell into some misfortunes that lessened the 
 reputation she had formerly lived in." — History of kis Own 
 Times, vol. i. p. 238. She was mother of William III. 
 
 '"The Infanta of Portugal landed in May (1662) at Ports- 
 mouth. The king went thither, and was married privately by 
 Lord Aubigny, a secular priest, and almoner to the queen, ac- 
 cording to the rites of Rome, in the queen's chamber; none 
 present but the Portuguese ambassador, three more Portuguese 
 of quality, and two or three Portuguese women. What made 
 this necessary was, that the Earl of Sandwich did not marry her 
 by proxy, as usual, before she came away. How this happened, 
 the duke knows not, nor did the chancellor know of this private 
 marriage. The queen would not be bedded, till pronounced 
 man and wife by Sheldon, Bishop of London." — Extract 2, from 
 King James II.'s Journal. — Macphersorts State Papers, vol. i. 
 In the same collection is a curious letter from the king to Lord 
 Clarendon, giving his opinion of the queen after having seen her. 
 
 2 Charles II. was born 29th May, 1630, and died 6th February, 
 1684-85. His character is very amply detailed and accurately 
 depicted by George Saville, Marquis of Halifax, in a volume 
 published by his granddaughter, the Countess of Burlington, 
 8vo., 1750. See also Burnet, Clarendon, and Sheffield, Duke of 
 Buckingham. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 109 
 
 wit was pleasant, his disposition easy and affable ; 
 his soul, susceptible of opposite impressions, was 
 compassionate to the unhappy, inflexible to the 
 wicked, and tender even to excess ; he showed 
 great abilities in urgent affairs, but was incapable 
 of application to any that were not so ; his heart 
 was often the dupe, but oftener the slave, of his 
 engagements. 
 
 The character of the Duke of York ' was en- 
 tirely different : he had the reputation of undaunted 
 
 1 James, Duke of York, afterward King James II. He was 
 born 15th October, 1633; succeeded his brother 6th February, 
 1684-85; abdicated the crown in 1688 ; and died 6th September, 
 1 70 1. Bishop Burnet's character of him appears not very far 
 from the truth. " He was," says this writer, " very brave in his 
 youth, and so much magnified by Monsieur Turenne that, till 
 his marriage lessened him, he really clouded the king, and passed 
 for the superior genius. He was naturally candid and sincere, 
 and a firm friend, till affairs and his religion wore out all his first 
 principles and inclinations. He had a great desire to understand 
 affairs, and in order to that he kept a constant journal of all 
 that passed, of which he showed me a great deal. The Duke of 
 Buckingham gave me once a short but severe character of the 
 two brothers. It was the more severe, because it was true : the 
 king (he said) could see things if he would, and the duke would 
 see things if he could. He had no true judgment, and was soon 
 determined by those whom he trusted, but he was obstinate against 
 all other advices. He was bred with high notions of kingly 
 authority, and laid it down for a maxim, that all who opposed 
 the king were rebels in their hearts. He was perpetually in one 
 amour or other, without being very nice in his choice : upon 
 which the king once said, he believed his brother had his mis- 
 tresses given him by his priests for penance. He was naturally 
 eager and revengeful : and was against the taking off any that 
 set up in an opposition to the measures of the court, and who by 
 
no COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 courage, an inviolable attachment for his word, 
 great economy in his affairs, hauteur, application, 
 arrogance, each in their turn ; a scrupulous ob- 
 server of the rules of duty and the laws of justice. 
 He was accounted a faithful friend, and an impla- 
 cable enemy. 
 
 His morality and justice, struggling for some 
 time with prejudice, had at last triumphed, by 
 his acknowledging for his wife Miss Hyde, 1 maid 
 
 that means grew popular in the House of Commons. He was for 
 rougher methods. He continued many years dissembling his 
 religion, and seemed zealous for the Church of England, but it 
 was chiefly on design to hinder all propositions that tended to 
 unite us among ourselves. He was a frugal prince, and brought 
 his court into method and magnificence, for he had ;£ 100,000 
 a year allowed him. He was made high admiral, and he came 
 to understand all the concerns of the sea very particularly.'' 
 
 1 Miss Anne Hyde, eldest daughter of Lord Chancellor Clar- 
 endon. King James mentions this marriage in these terms : 
 " The king at first refused the Duke of York's marriage with 
 Miss Hyde. Many of the duke's friends and servants opposed 
 it. The king at last consented, and the Duke of York privately 
 married her, and soon after owned the marriage. Her want of 
 birth was made up by endowments, and her carriage afterward 
 became her acquired dignity." Again : " When his sister, the 
 princess royal, came to Paris to see the queen-mother, the Duke 
 of York fell in love with Mrs. Anne Hyde, one of her maids of 
 honour. Besides her person, she had all the qualities proper to 
 inflame a heart less apt to take fire than his : which she man- 
 aged so well as to bring his passion to such an height, that, be- 
 tween the time he first saw her and the winter before the king's 
 restoration, he resolved to marry none but her, and promised 
 her to do it ; and though, at first, when the duke asked the king 
 his brother for his leave, he refused, and dissuaded him from it, 
 yet at last he opposed it no more, and the duke married her 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT iii 
 
 of honour to the princess royal, whom he had 
 secretly married in Holland. Her father, 1 from 
 that time Prime Minister of England, supported 
 by this new interest, soon rose to the head of 
 affairs, and had almost ruined them ; not that 
 he wanted capacity, but he was too self-suffi- 
 cient. 
 
 The Duke of Ormond 2 possessed the confidence 
 and esteem of his master; the greatness of his 
 
 privately, owned it some time after, and was ever after a true 
 friend to the chancellor for several years." — Macpherson's State 
 Papers, vol. i. 
 
 1 Edward Hyde, Earl of Clarendon, " for his comprehensive 
 knowledge of mankind, styled the chancellor of human nature. 
 His character, at this distance of time, may and ought to be 
 impartially considered. Designing or blinded contemporaries 
 heaped the most unjust abuse upon him. The subsequent age, 
 when the partisans of prerogative were at least the loudest, if 
 not the most numerous, smit with a work that deified their mar- 
 tyr, have been unbounded in their encomium." — Catalogue of 
 Noble Authors, vol. ii. p. 18. Lord Orford, who professes to steer 
 a middle course, and separate his great virtues as a man from his 
 faults as a historian, acknowledges that he possessed almost 
 every virtue of a minister which could make his character vener- 
 able. He died in exile, in the year 1674. 
 
 2 James Butler, Duke of Ormond, bom 19th October, 1610, 
 and died 21st July, 1688. Lord Clarendon, in the " Continuation 
 of his Life," observes that " he frankly engaged his person and 
 his fortune in the king's service, from the first hour of the 
 troubles, and pursued it with courage and constancy, that when 
 the king was murdered, and he deserted by the Irish, contrary to 
 the articles of peace which they had made with him, and when 
 he could make no longer defence, he refused all the conditions 
 which Cromwell offered, — who would have given him his vast 
 estate if he would have been contented to live quietly in some 
 
it* COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 services, the splendour of his merit and his birth, 
 and the fortune he had abandoned in adhering to the 
 fate of his prince, rendered him worthy of it, nor 
 durst the courtiers even murmur at seeing him 
 grand steward of the household, first lord of the 
 bedchamber, and Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. He 
 exactly resembled the Marshal de Grammont, in 
 the turn of his wit and the nobleness of his man- 
 
 of his own houses, without further concerning himself in the 
 quarrel, — and transported himself, without so much as accept- 
 ing a pass from his authority, in a little, weak vessel into France, 
 where he found the king, from whom he never parted till he 
 returned with him into England. Having thus merited as much 
 as a subject can do from a prince, he had much more credit and 
 esteem with the king than any other man." — Continuation of 
 the Life of Lord Clarendon, p. 4, fol. edit. Bishop Burnet says 
 of him: "He was a man every way fitted for a court; of a 
 graceful appearance, a lively wit, and a cheerful temper ; a man 
 of great expense ; decent even in his vices, for he always kept 
 up the form of religion. He had gone through many transac- 
 tions in Ireland with more fidelity than success. He had made 
 a treaty with the Irish, which was broken by the great body of 
 them, though some few of them adhered still to him. But the 
 whole Irish nation did still pretend, that though they had broke 
 the agreement first, yet he, or rather the king, in whose name he 
 had treated with them, was bound to perform all the articles of 
 the treaty. He had miscarried so in the siege of Dublin, that it 
 very much lessened the opinion of his military conduct. Yet 
 his constant attendance on his master, his easiness to him, and 
 his great suffering for him, raised him to be lord steward of the 
 household, and Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. He was firm to the 
 Protestant religion, and so far firm to the laws, that he always 
 gave good advices ; but when bad ones were followed, he was 
 not for complaining too much of them." — History of his Own 
 Times, vol. i. p. 230. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 113 
 
 ners, and like him was the honour of his master's 
 court. 
 
 The Duke of Buckingham * and the Earl of St. 
 Albans 2 were the same in England as they ap- 
 peared in France : the one full of wit and vivacity, 
 dissipated, without splendour, an immense estate 
 upon which he had just entered ; the other, a man 
 of no great genius, had raised himself a consider- 
 able fortune from nothing, and, by losing at play, 
 and keeping a great table, made it appear greater 
 than it was. 
 
 1 The Duke of Buckingham is again one hundred and forty 
 thousand pounds in debt ; and by this prorogation his creditors 
 have time to tear all his lands to pieces. — Andrew MarvelVs 
 Works, 4to edit., vol. i. p. 406. 
 
 2 Henry Jermyn, Earl of St. Albans, and Baron of St. Ed- 
 mond's Bury. He was master of the horse to Queen Henrietta, 
 and one of the Privy Council to Charles II. In July, 1660, he 
 was sent ambassador to the court of France, and, in 167 1, was 
 made lord chamberlain of his Majesty's household. He died 
 January 2, 1683. Sir John Reresby asserts that Lord St. Albans 
 was married to Queen Henrietta. " The abbess of an English 
 college in Paris, whither the queen used to retire, would tell 
 me," says Sir John, " that Lord Jermyn, since St. Albans, had 
 the queen greatly in awe of him ; and indeed it was obvious that 
 he had great interest with her concerns ; but that he was married 
 to her, or had children by her, as some have reported, I did not 
 then believe, though the thing was certainly so." — Memoirs, p. 4. 
 Madame Baviere, in her letter, says : " Charles the First's widow 
 made a clandestine marriage with her chevalier d'honneur, Lord 
 St. Albans, who treated her extremely ill, so that, whilst she had 
 not a fagot to warm herself, he had in his apartment a good fire 
 and a sumptuous table. He never gave the queen a kind word, 
 and when she spoke to him he used to say, Que me veut cettt 
 
 femme ? " Hamilton hints at his selfishness a little lower. 
 
ii4 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Sir George Berkeley, 1 afterward Earl of Fal- 
 mouth, was the confidant and favourite of the 
 king ; he commanded the Duke of York's regi- 
 ment of guards, and governed the duke himself. 
 He had nothing very remarkable either in his wit 
 or his person, but his sentiments were worthy of 
 the fortune which awaited him, when, on the very 
 point of his elevation, he was killed at sea. Never 
 did disinterestedness so perfectly characterise the 
 greatness of the soul ; he had no views but what 
 tended to the glory of his master, his credit was 
 never employed but in advising him to reward ser- 
 vices, or to confer favours on merit ; so polished 
 in conversation, that the greater his power, the 
 greater was his humility, and so sincere in all his 
 proceedings, that he would never have been taken 
 for a courtier. 
 
 The Duke of Ormond's sons and his nephews 
 had been in the king's court during his exile, and 
 
 1 This Sir George Berkeley, as he is here improperly called, 
 
 was Charles Berkley, second son of Sir Berkley, of Bru- 
 
 ton, in Gloucestershire, and was the principal favourite and 
 companion of the Duke of York in all his campaigns. He was 
 created Baron Berkley of Rathdown, and Viscount Fitzharding 
 of Ireland, and Baron Bottetort and Earl of Falmouth in Eng- 
 land, 17th March, 1664. He had the address to secure himself 
 in the affections equally of the king and his brother at the same 
 time. Lord Clarendon, who seems to have conceived, and with 
 reason, a prejudice against him, calls him "a fellow of great 
 wickedness," and says, "he was one in whom few other men 
 (except the king) had ever observed any virtue or quality, which 
 they did not wish their best friends without." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 115 
 
 were far from diminishing its lustre after his re- 
 turn. The Earl of Arran ' had a singular address 
 in all kinds of exercises, played well at tennis and 
 on the guitar, and was pretty successful in gal- 
 lantry ; his elder brother, the Earl of Ossory, 2 was 
 not so lively, but of the most liberal sentiments, 
 and of great probity. 
 
 The elder of the Hamiltons, their cousin, was 
 the man who of all the court dressed best ; he 
 was well made in his person, and possessed those 
 happy talents which lead to fortune, and procure 
 
 1 Richard Butler, Earl of Arran, fifth son of James Butler, the 
 first Duke of Ormond. He was born 15th July, 1639, and 
 educated with great care, being taught everything suitable to his 
 birth, and the great affection his parents had for him. 
 
 * Thomas, Earl of Ossory, eldest son of the first, and father 
 of the last Duke of Ormond, was born at Kilkenny, 8th July, 
 1634. At the age of twenty-one years he had so much distin- 
 guished himself that Sir Robert Southwell then drew the follow- 
 ing character of him : " He is a young man with a very handsome 
 face ; a good head of hair ; well set ; very good-natured ; rides 
 the great horse very well ; is a very good tennis-player, fencer 
 and dancer ; understands music, and plays on the guitar and 
 lute ; speaks French elegantly ; reads Italian fluently ; is a good 
 historian; and so well versed in romances that if a gallery be 
 full of pictures and hangings, he will tell the stories of all that 
 are there described. He shuts up his door at eight o'clock in 
 the evening and studies till midnight ; he is temperate, cour- 
 teous, and excellent in all his behaviour." His death was 
 occasioned by a fever, 30th July, 1680, to the grief of his family 
 and the public. Lord Ossory married, in 1659, Emile de Nassau, 
 eldest daughter of Louis de Nassau, Lord Beverwaert, in Hol- 
 land, the acknowledged but not legitimate son of Maurice, Prince 
 of Orange. A sister of this lady married Lord Arlington ; see 
 note to Lord Arlington, infra. 
 
n6 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 success in love ; he was a most assiduous courtier, 
 had the most lively wit, the most polished man- 
 ners, and the most punctual attention to his master 
 imaginable ; no person danced better, nor was any 
 one a more general lover : a merit of some account 
 in a court entirely devoted to love and gallantry. 
 It is not at all surprising that, with these qualities, 
 he succeeded my Lord Falmouth in the king's 
 favour ; but it is very extraordinary that he 
 should have experienced the same destiny, as if 
 this sort of war had been declared against merit 
 only, and as if this sort of combat was fatal to 
 none but such as had certain hopes of a splendid 
 fortune. This, however, did not happen till some 
 years afterward. 
 
 The beau Sydney,' less dangerous than he 
 appeared to be, had not sufficient vivacity to 
 support the impression which his figure made ; but 
 little Jermyn was on all sides successful in his 
 intrigues. The old Earl of St. Albans, his uncle, 
 had for a long time adopted him, though the 
 youngest of all his nephews. It is well known 
 what a table the good man kept at Paris, while 
 the king, his master, was starving at Brussels, and 
 the queen dowager, his mistress, 2 lived not over 
 well in France. 
 
 1 Robert Sydney, third son of the Earl of Leicester and 
 brother of the famous Algernon Sydney, who was beheaded. 
 
 • To what a miserable state the queen was reduced may be 
 seen in the following extract from De Retz : " Four or five days 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 117 
 
 before the king removed from Paris, I went to visit the Queen of 
 England, whom I found in her daughter's chamber, who hath 
 been since Duchess of Orleans. At my coming in she said : 
 ' You see I am come to keep Henrietta company. The poor 
 child could not rise to-day for want of a fire.' The truth is, that 
 the cardinal for six months together had not ordered her any 
 money toward her pension ; that no tradespeople would trust her 
 for anything ; and that there was not at her lodgings in the 
 Louvre one single billet. You will do me the justice to suppose 
 that the Princess of England did not keep her bed the next day 
 for want of a fagot ; but it was not this which the Princess of 
 Conde meant in her letter. What she spoke about was, that 
 some days after my visiting the Queen of England, I remem- 
 bered the condition I had found her in, and had strongly repre- 
 sented the shame of abandoning her in that manner, which 
 caused the Parliament to send 40,000 livres to her Majesty. 
 Posterity will hardly believe that a Princess of England, grand- 
 daughter of Henry the Great, had wanted a fagot, in the month 
 of January, to get out of bed in the Louvre, and in the eyes of a 
 French court. We read in histories, with horror, of baseness 
 less monstrous than this ; and the little concern I have met with 
 about it in most people's minds has obliged me to make, I 
 believe, a thousand times, this reflection : that examples of times 
 past move men beyond comparison more than those of their 
 own times. We accustom ourselves to what we see ; and I have 
 sometimes told you, that I doubted whether Caligula's horse 
 being made a consul would have surprised us so much as we 
 imagine." — Memoirs, vol. i. p. 261. As for the relative situa- 
 tion of the king and Lord Jermyn (afterward St. Albans), Lord 
 Clarendon says that the " Marquis of Ormond was compelled 
 to put himself in prison, with other gentlemen, at a pistole a 
 week for his diet, and to walk the streets a-foot, which was no 
 honourable custom in Paris, whilst the Lord Jermyn kept an 
 excellent table for those' who courted him, and had a coach of 
 his own, and all other accommodations incident to the most full 
 fortune; and if the king had the most urgent occasion for the 
 use of but twenty pistoles, as sometimes he had, he could not 
 find credit to borrow it, which he often had experiment of." — 
 U'story of the Rebellion, vol. iii. p. 2. 
 
n8 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Jermyn, 1 supported by his uncle's wealth, found 
 it no difficult matter to make a considerable figure 
 upon his arrival at the court of the Princess of 
 Orange. The poor courtiers of the king, her 
 brother, could not vie with him in point of equi- 
 page and magnificence; and these two articles 
 often produce as much success in love as real 
 merit. There is no necessity for any other example 
 than the present ; for though Jermyn was brave, 
 and certainly a gentleman, yet he had neither 
 brilliant actions nor distinguished rank to set him 
 off; and as for his figure, there was nothing 
 advantageous in it. He was little ; his head was 
 large and his legs small ; his features were not 
 disagreeable, but he was affected in his carriage 
 and behaviour. All his wit consisted in expres- 
 sions learnt by rote, which he occasionally em- 
 ployed either in raillery or in love. This was the 
 whole foundation of the merit of a man so formi- 
 dable in amours. 
 
 The princess royal was the first who was taken 
 
 1 Henry Jermyn, youngest son of Thomas, elder brother of 
 the Earl of St. Albans. He was created Baron Dover in 1685, 
 and died without children, at Cheveley, in Cambridgeshire, 
 April 6, 1708. His corpse was carried to Bruges, in Flanders, 
 and buried in the monastery of the Carmelites there. St. Evre- 
 mond, who visited Mr. Jermyn at Cheveley, says, " We went 
 thither, and were very kindly received by a person who, though 
 he has taken his leave of the court, has carried the civility and 
 good taste of it into the country." — St. Evremond's Works, 
 vol. ii. p. 223. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 119 
 
 with him. 1 Miss Hyde seemed to be following the 
 steps of her mistress ; this immediately brought 
 him into credit, and his reputation was established 
 in England before his arrival. Prepossession in 
 the minds of women is sufficient to find access to 
 their hearts ; Jermyn found them in dispositions 
 so favourable for him, that he had nothing to do 
 but to speak. 
 
 It was in vain they perceived that a reputation 
 so lightly established was still more weakly sus- 
 tained. The prejudice remained. The Countess 
 of Castlemaine, 2 a woman lively and discerning, fol- 
 
 1 It was suspected of this princess to have had a similar 
 engagement with the Duke of Buckingham as the queen with 
 Jermyn, and that was the cause she would not see the duke on 
 his second voyage to Holland, in the year 1652. 
 
 2 This lady, who makes so distinguished a figure in the annals 
 of infamy, was Barbara, daughter and heir of William Villiers, 
 Lord Viscount Grandison, of the kingdom of Ireland, who died 
 in 1642, in consequence of wounds received at the battle of 
 Edgehill. She was married, just before the restoration, to 
 Roger Palmer, Esq., then a student in the Temple, and heir to a 
 considerable fortune. In the thirteenth year of King Charles 
 II. he was created Earl of Castlemaine in the kingdom of Ire- 
 land. She had a daughter, born in February, 1661, while she 
 cohabited with her husband; but shortly after she became the 
 avowed mistress of the king, who continued his connection with 
 her until about the year 1672, when she was delivered of a 
 daughter, which was supposed to be Mr. Churchill's, afterward 
 Duke of Marlborough, and which the king disavowed. Her 
 gallantries were by no means confined to one or two, nor were 
 they unknown to his Majesty. In the year 1670 she was created 
 Baroness of Nonsuch, in Surrey, Countess of Southampton, and 
 Duchess of Cleveland, during her natural life, with remainder to 
 
izo COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 lowed the delusive shadow ; and, though unde- 
 ceived in a reputation which promised so much, 
 and performed so little, she nevertheless continued 
 in her infatuation. She even persisted in it, until 
 she was upon the point of embroiling herself with 
 the king; so great was this first instance of her 
 constancy. 
 
 Such were the heroes of the court. As for the 
 beauties, you could not look anywhere without 
 seeing them. Those of the greatest reputation 
 were this same Countess of Castlemaine, after- 
 ward Duchess of Cleveland, Lady Chesterfield, 
 Lady Shrewsbury, 1 the Mrs. Roberts, Mrs. Mid- 
 
 Charles and George Fitzroy, her eldest and third sons, and their 
 heirs male. In July, 1705, her husband died, and she soon 
 after married a man of desperate fortune, known by the name of 
 Handsome Fielding, who, behaving in a manner unjustifiably 
 severe toward her, she was obliged to have recourse to law for 
 her protection. Fortunately, it was discovered that Fielding had 
 already a wife living, by which means the duchess was enabled 
 to free herself from his authority. She lived about two years 
 afterward, and died of a dropsy, on the 9th of October, 1709, in 
 her sixty-ninth year. Bishop Burnet says : " She was a woman 
 of great beauty, but most enormously vicious and ravenous ; 
 foolish, but imperious ; very uneasy to the king, and always 
 carrying on intrigues with other men, while yet she pretended 
 she was jealous of him. His passion for her, and her strange 
 behaviour toward him, did so disorder him that often he was not 
 master of himself, nor capable of minding business, which, in so 
 critical a time, required great application." — History of his 
 Own Times, vol. i. p. 129. 
 
 1 Anna Maria, Countess of Shrewsbury, eldest daughter of 
 Robert Brudenel, Earl of Cardigan, and wife of Francis, Earl 
 of Shrewsbury, who was killed in a duel by George, Duke 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 121 
 
 dleton, the Misses Brooks, 1 and a thousand others, 
 who shone at court with equal lustre ; but it was 
 Miss Hamilton and Miss Stewart who were its 
 chief ornaments. The new queen gave but little 
 additional brilliancy to the court, 2 either in her 
 person or in her retinue, which was then com- 
 posed of the Countess de Panetra, who came 
 over with her in quality of lady of the bed- 
 chamber ; six frights, who called themselves 
 maids of honour, and a duenna, another monster, 
 who took the title of governess to those extraordi- 
 nary beauties. 
 
 Among the men were Francisco de Melo, 
 
 of Buckingham, March 16, 1667. She afterward remarried 
 with George Rodney Bridges, Esq., second son of Sir Thomas 
 Bridges, of Keynsham, in Somersetshire, knight, and died April 
 20, 1702. By her second husband she had one son, George 
 Rodney Bridges, who died in 1751. This woman is said to have 
 been so abandoned as to have held, in the habit of a page, her 
 gallant the duke's horse, while he fought and killed her hus- 
 band; after which she went to bed with him, stained with her 
 husband's blood. 
 
 1 One of these ladies married Sir John Denham, and is men- 
 tioned hereafter. 
 
 2 Lord Clarendon confirms, in some measure, this account. 
 " There was a numerous family of men and women, that were 
 sent from Portugal, the most improper to promote that con- 
 formity in the queen that was necessary for her condition and 
 future happiness that could be chosen ; the women, for the most 
 part, old and ugly, and proud, incapable of any conversation 
 with persons of quality and a liberal education ; and they 
 desired, and, indeed, had conspired so far to possess the queen 
 themselves, that she should neither learn the English language 
 nor use their habit, nor depart from the manners and fashions 
 
122 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 brother to the Countess de Panetra ; one Taurau- 
 vedez, who called himself Don Pedro Francisco 
 Correo de Silva, extremely handsome, but a 
 greater fool than all the Portuguese put together. 
 He was more vain of his names than of his per- 
 son ; but the Duke of Buckingham, a still greater 
 fool than he, though more addicted to raillery, gave 
 him the additional name of Peter of the Wood. 
 He was so enraged at this, that, after many fruit- 
 less complaints and ineffectual menaces, poor 
 Pedro de Silva was obliged to leave England, 
 while the happy duke kept possession of a Por- 
 tuguese nymph more hideous than the queen's 
 maids of honour, whom he had taken from him, as 
 
 of her own country in any particulars ; which resolution," they 
 told, " would be for the dignity of Portugal, and would quickly 
 induce the English ladies to conform to her Majesty's practice. 
 And this imagination had made that impression, that the tailor 
 who had been sent into Portugal to make her clothes could 
 never be admitted to see her or receive any employment. Nor 
 when she came to Portsmouth, and found there several ladies of 
 honour and prime quality to attend her in the places to which 
 they were assigned by the king, did she receive any of them till 
 the king himself came ; nor then with any grace, or the liberty 
 that belonged to their places and offices. She could not be 
 persuaded to be dressed out of the wardrobe that the king had 
 sent to her, but would wear the clothes which she had brought, 
 until she found that the king was displeased, and would be 
 obeyed; whereupon she conformed, against the advice of her 
 women, who continued their opiniatrety, without any one of 
 them receding from their own mode, which exposed them the 
 more to reproach." — Continuation of Clarendon's Life, p. 168. 
 In a short time after their arrival in England they were ordered 
 back to Portugal. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 123 
 
 well as two of his names. Besides these, there 
 were six chaplains, four bakers, a Jew perfumer, 
 and a certain officer, probably without an office, 
 who called himself her Highness's barber. Kath- 
 erine de Braganza was far from appearing with 
 splendour in the charming court where she came 
 to reign ; however, in the end she was pretty suc- 
 cessful. 1 The Chevalier de Grammont, who had 
 been long known to the royal family, and to most 
 of the gentlemen of the court, had only to get ac- 
 quainted with the ladies ; and for this he wanted 
 
 1 Lord Clarendon says : " The queen had beauty and wit enough 
 to make herself agreeable to him (the king) ; and it is very cer- 
 tain, that, at their first meeting, and for some time after, the 
 king had very good satisfaction in her. . . . Though she was 
 of years enough to have had more experience of the world, and 
 of as much wit as could be wished, and of a humour very agree- 
 able at some seasons, yet she had been bred, according to the 
 mode and discipline of her country, in a monastery, where she 
 had only seen the women who attended her, and conversed with 
 the religious who resided there, and, without doubt, in her in- 
 clinations, was enough disposed to have been one of that num- 
 ber; and from this restraint she was called out to be a great 
 queen, and to a free conversation in a court that was to be upon 
 the matter new formed, and reduced from the manners of a 
 licentious age to the old rules and limits which had been ob- 
 served in better times, to which regular and decent conformity 
 the present disposition of men or women was not enough in- 
 clined to submit, nor the king enough disposed to exact." — Con- 
 tinuation of Lord Clarendon's Life, p. 167. After some struggle, 
 she submitted to the king's licentious conduct, and from that 
 time lived upon easy terms with him until his death. On the 
 30th March, 1692, she left Somerset House, her usual residence, 
 and retired to Lisbon, where she died, 31st December, 1705, 
 N. S. 
 
124 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 no interpreter. They all spoke French enough to 
 explain themselves, and they all understood it 
 sufficiently to comprehend what he had to say to 
 them. 
 
 The queen's court was always very numerous ; 
 that of the duchess was less so, but more select. 
 This princess ' had a majestic air, a pretty good 
 shape, not much beauty, a great deal of wit, and 
 so just a discernment of merit, that, whoever of 
 either sex were possessed of it, were sure to be 
 distinguished by her. An air of grandeur in all 
 her actions made her be considered as if born to 
 support the rank which placed her so near the 
 throne. The queen dowager returned after the 
 
 1 " The Duchess of York," says Bishop Burnet, " was a very 
 extraordinary woman. She had great knowledge, and a lively 
 sense of things. She soon understood what belonged to a 
 princess, and took state on her rather too much. She wrote 
 well, and had begun the duke's life, of which she showed me a 
 volume. It was all drawn from his journal, and he intended to 
 have employed me in carrying it on. She was bred in great 
 strictness in religion, and practised secret confession. Morley 
 told me he was her confessor. She began at twelve years old. 
 and continued under his direction till, upon her father's disgrace, 
 he was put from the court. She was generous and friendly, but 
 was too severe an enemy." — History of his Own Times, vol. i. 
 p. 237. She was contracted to the duke at Breda, November 24, 
 1659, and married at Worcester House, 3d September, 1660, in 
 the night, between eleven and two, by Dr. Joseph Crowther, the 
 duke's chaplain, the Lord Ossory giving her in marriage. — 
 Kennefs Register, p. 246. She died 31st March, 167 1, having 
 previously acknowledged herself to be a Roman Catholic. See 
 also her character by Bishop Morley. — Kennefs Register, p. 385, 
 390- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 125 
 
 marriage of the princess royal, 1 and it was in her 
 court that the two others met. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was soon liked by 
 all parties ; those who had not known him before 
 were surprised to see a Frenchman of his disposi- 
 tion. The king's restoration having drawn a great 
 number of foreigners from all countries to the 
 court, the French were rather in disgrace ; for, 
 instead of any persons of distinction having ap- 
 peared among the first who came over, they had 
 only seen some insignificant puppies, each striv- 
 ing to outdo the other in folly and extrava- 
 gance, despising everything which was not like 
 themselves, and thinking they introduced the bel 
 air, by treating the English as strangers in their 
 own country. 
 
 1 Queen Henrietta Maria arrived at Whitehall, 2d November, 
 1660, after nineteen years' absence. She was received with accla- 
 mations, and bonfires were lighted on the occasion, both in 
 London and Westminster. She returned to France with her 
 daughter, the Princess Henrietta, 2d January, 1660-61. She 
 arrived again at Greenwich, 28th July, 1662, and continued 
 to keep her court in England until July, 1665, when she em- 
 barked for France, " and took so many things with her," says 
 Lord Clarendon, " that it was thought by many that she did not 
 intend ever to return into England. Whatever her intentions at 
 that time were, she never did see England again, though she 
 lived many years after." — Continuation of Clarendon's Life, p. 
 263. She died at-Colombe, near Paris, in August, 1669, and 
 her son, the Duke of York, pronounces this eulogium on her : 
 " She excelled in all the good qualities of a good wife, of a good 
 mother, and a good Christian." — Macphersoris Original Papers, 
 vol. i. 
 
126 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, on the contrary, 
 was familiar with everybody. He gave in to their 
 customs, eat of everything, and easily habituated 
 himself to their manner of living, which he looked 
 upon as neither vulgar nor barbarous ; and as he 
 showed a natural complaisance, instead of the im- 
 pertinent affectation of the others, all the nation 
 was charmed with a man who agreeably indemni- 
 fied them for what they had suffered from the 
 folly of the former. 
 
 He first of all made his court to the king, and 
 was of all his parties of pleasure ; he played high, 
 and lost but seldom ; he found so little differ- 
 ence in the manners and conversation of those 
 with whom he chiefly associated, that he could 
 scarcely believe he was out of his own country. 
 Everything which could agreeably engage a man 
 of his disposition presented itself to his different 
 humours, as if the pleasures of the court of 
 France had quitted it to accompany him in his 
 exile. 
 
 He was every day engaged for some entertain- 
 ment ; and those who wished to regale him in 
 their turn were obliged to take their measures in 
 time, and to invite him eight or ten days before- 
 hand. These importunate civilities became tire- 
 some in the long run ; but as they seemed 
 indispensable to a man of his disposition, and as 
 they were the most genteel people of the court 
 who loaded him with them, he submitted with a 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 127 
 
 good grace, but always reserved to himself the 
 liberty of supping at home. 
 
 His supper hour depended upon play, and was 
 indeed very uncertain ; but his supper was always 
 served up with the greatest elegance, by the assist- 
 ance of one or two servants, who were excellent 
 caterers and good attendants, but understood cheat- 
 ing still better. 
 
 The company at these little entertainments was 
 not numerous, but select. The first people of the 
 court were commonly of the party ; but the man, 
 who of all others suited him best on these occa- 
 sions, never failed to attend : that was the cele- 
 brated Saint Evremond, who, with great exactness 
 but too great freedom, had written the history of 
 the treaty of the Pyrenees, an exile like himself, 
 though for very different reasons. 
 
 Happily for them both, fortune had, some time 
 before the arrival of the Chevalier de Grammont, 
 brought Saint Evremond ' to England, after he 
 
 1 Charles de St. Denis, Seigneur de Saint Evremond, was 
 born at St. Denis le Guast, in Lower Normandy, on the 1st of 
 April, 16 1 3. He was educated at Paris, with a view to the pro- 
 fession of the law ; but he early quitted that pursuit and went 
 into the army, where he signalised himself on several occasions. 
 At the time of the Pyrenean treaty, he wrote a letter censuring 
 the conduct of Cardinal Mazarin, which occasioned his being 
 banished France. He first took refuge in Holland; but in 1662 
 he removed into England, where he continued, with a short 
 interval, during the rest of his life. In 1675, tne Duchess of 
 Mazarin came to reside in England ; and with her St. Evremond 
 passed much of his time. He preserved his health and cheerful- 
 
128 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 had had leisure to repent in Holland of the beau- 
 ties of that famous satire. 
 
 The chevalier was from that time his hero ; they 
 had each of them attained to all the advantages 
 which a knowledge of the world and the society of 
 people of fashion could add to the improvement 
 of good natural talents. Saint Evremond, less 
 engaged in frivolous pursuits, frequently gave little 
 lectures to the chevalier, and by making observa- 
 tions upon the past endeavoured to set him right 
 for the present, or to instruct him for the future. 
 "You are now," said he, "in the most agreeable 
 way of life a man of your temper could wish for ; 
 you are the delight of a youthful, sprightly, and 
 gallant court ; the king has never a party of pleas- 
 ure to which you are not admitted. You play 
 from morning to night, or, to speak more properly, 
 from night to morning, without knowing what it is 
 
 ness to a very great age, and died 9th of September, 1703,* aged 
 ninety years, five months, and twenty days. His biographer, 
 Monsieur Des Maizeaux, describes him thus : " M. de St. Evre- 
 mond had blue, lively, and sparkling eyes, a large forehead, 
 thick eyebrows, a handsome mouth, and a sneering physiog- 
 nomy. Twenty years before his death a wen grew between his 
 eyebrows, which in time increased to a considerable bigness. 
 He once designed to have it cut off, but as it was no ways 
 troublesome to him, and he little regarded that kind of deform- 
 ity, Doctor Le Fevre advised him to let it alone, lest such an 
 operation should be attended with dangerous symptoms in a man 
 of his age. He would often make merry with himself on account 
 of his wen, his great leather cap, and gray hair, which he chose 
 to wear rather than a periwig." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 129 
 
 to lose. Far from losing the money you brought 
 hither, as you have done in other places, you have 
 doubled it, trebled it, multiplied it almost beyond 
 your wishes, notwithstanding the exorbitant ex- 
 penses you are imperceptibly led into. This, 
 without doubt, is the most desirable situation in 
 the world ; stop here, chevalier, and do not ruin 
 your affairs by returning to your old sins. Avoid 
 love by pursuing other pleasures ; love has never 
 been favourable to you. You are sensible how 
 much gallantry has cost you ; and every person 
 here is not so well acquainted with that matter as 
 yourself. Play boldly ; entertain the court with 
 your wit ; divert the king by your ingenious and 
 entertaining stories ; but avoid all engagements 
 which can deprive you of this merit, and make 
 you forget you are a stranger and an exile in this 
 delightful country. 
 
 " Fortune may grow weary of befriending you 
 at play. What would have become of you if your 
 last misfortune had happened to you when your 
 money had been at as low an ebb as I have known 
 it ? Attend carefully, then, to this necessary deity 
 and renounce the other. You will be missed at 
 the court of France before you grow weary of 
 this ; but be that as it may, lay up a good store 
 of money ; when a man is rich he consoles himself 
 for his banishment. I know you well, my dear 
 chevalier. If you take it into your head to seduce 
 a lady, or to supplant a lover, your gains at play 
 
130 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 will by no means suffice for presents and for 
 bribes. No, let play be as productive to you as it 
 can be, you will never gain so much by it as you 
 will lose by love, if you yield to it. 
 
 " You are in possession of a thousand splendid 
 qualifications which distinguish you here, — gener- 
 ous, benevolent, elegant, and polite, and for your 
 engaging wit, inimitable. Upon a strict examina- 
 tion, perhaps, all this would not be found literally 
 true ; but these are brilliant marks, and since it is 
 granted that you possess them, do not show your- 
 self here in any other light ; for in love, if your 
 manner of paying your addresses can be so denom- 
 inated, you do not in the least resemble the picture 
 I have just now drawn." 
 
 " My little philosophical monitor," said the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, " you talk here as if you 
 were the Cato of Normandy." "Do I say any- 
 thing untrue ? " replied Saint Evremond. "Is it 
 not a fact, that as soon as a woman pleases you 
 your first care is to find out whether she has any 
 other lover, and your second how to plague her ; 
 for the gaining her affection is the last thing in 
 your thoughts. You seldom engage in intrigues, 
 but to disturb the happiness of others ; a mistress 
 who has no lovers would have no charms for you, 
 and if she has she would be invaluable. Do not 
 all the places through which you have passed 
 furnish me with a thousand examples ? Shall I 
 mention your coup d'essai at Turin ? the trick you 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 131 
 
 played at Fontainebleau, where you robbed the 
 Princess Palatine's courier upon the highway ? and 
 for what purpose was this fine exploit but to put 
 you in possession of some proofs of her affection 
 for another in order to give her uneasiness and 
 confusion by reproaches and menaces which you 
 had no right to use ? 
 
 "Who but yourself ever took it into his head to 
 place himself in ambush upon the stairs to disturb 
 a man in an intrigue, and to pull him back by the 
 leg when he was half-way up to his mistress's 
 chamber ? yet did you not use your friend, the 
 Duke of Buckingham, in this manner when he was 
 
 stealing at night to , although you were not 
 
 in the least his rival ? How many spies did not 
 you send out after D'Olonne ? ' How many tricks 
 frauds, and persecutions did you not practise for 
 
 1 Mile, de la Loupe, who is mentioned in De Retz's " Mem- 
 oirs," vol. iii. p. 95. She married the Count d'Olonne, and 
 became famous for her gallantries, of which the Count de Bussi 
 speaks so much in his " History of the Amours of the Gauls." 
 Her maiden name was Catherine Henrietta d'Angennes, and she 
 was daughter to Charles d'Angennes, Lord of la Loupe, Baron 
 of Amberville, by Mary du Raynier. There is a long character 
 of her by St. Evremond in his works, vol. i. p. 17. The same 
 writer, mentioning the concern of some ladies for the death of 
 the Duke of Candale, says : " But his true mistress (the Countess 
 d'Olonne) made herself famous by the excess of her affliction, 
 and had, in my opinion, been happy if she had kept it on to the 
 last. One amour is creditable to a lady; and I know not 
 whether it be not more advantageous to their reputation than 
 never to have been in love." — St. Evremond'' s Works, vol. ii. 
 p. 24. 
 
132 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the Countess de Fiesque, 1 who perhaps might 
 have been constant to you if you had not yourself 
 forced her to be otherwise ? But to conclude, for 
 the enumeration of your iniquities would be end- 
 less, give me leave to ask you how you came here ? 
 Are we not obliged to that same evil genius of 
 yours which rashly inspired you to intermeddle 
 even in the gallantries of your prince ? Show 
 some discretion, then, on this point here, I be- 
 seech you. All the beauties of the court are 
 already engaged, and however docile the English 
 may be with respect to their wives, they can by 
 no means bear the inconstancy of their mistresses, 
 nor patiently suffer the advantages of a rival ; 
 suffer them therefore to remain in tranquillity, and 
 do not gain their ill-will for no purpose. 
 
 " You certainly will meet with no success with 
 such as are unmarried ; honourable views, and 
 good landed property, are required here, and you 
 possess as much of the one as the other. Every 
 country has its customs : in Holland, unmarried 
 ladies are of easy access, and of tender dispo- 
 sitions, but as soon as ever they are married, 
 
 1 This lady seems to have been the wife of Count de Fiesque, 
 who is mentioned by St. Evremond as "fruitful in military 
 chimeras ; who, besides the post of lieutenant-general, which he 
 had at Paris, obtained a particular commission for the beating up 
 of the quarters and other rash and sudden exploits, which may 
 be resolved upon whilst one is singing the air of La Barre, or 
 dancing a minuet." — Si. Evremond's Works, vol. i. p. 6. The 
 count's name occurs very frequently in De Retz's " Memoirs." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 133 
 
 they become like so many Lucretias ; in France, 
 the women are great coquettes before marriage, 
 and still more so afterward ; but here it is a miracle 
 if a young lady yields to any proposal but that 
 of matrimony, and I do not believe you yet so 
 destitute of grace as to think of that." 
 
 Such were St. Evremond's lectures ; but they 
 were all to no purpose : the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont only attended to them for his amusement, 
 and though he was sensible of the truth they con- 
 tained, he paid little regard to them ; in fact, being 
 weary of the favours of fortune, he had just 
 resolved to pursue those of love. 
 
 Mrs. Middleton was the first whom he attacked. 
 She was one of the handsomest women in town, 
 though then little known at court ; so much of the 
 coquette as to discourage no one ; and so great 
 was her desire of appearing magnificently, that she 
 was ambitious to vie with those of the greatest 
 fortunes, though unable to support the expense. 
 All this suited the Chevalier de Grammont ; there- 
 fore, without trifling away his time in useless cere- 
 monies, he applied to her porter for admittance, 
 and chose one of her lovers for his confidant. 
 
 This lover, who was not deficient in wit, was at 
 that time a Mr. Jones, afterward Earl of Ranelagh ; " 
 
 1 Richard, the first Earl of Ranelagh, was member of the 
 English House of Commons, and Vice-Treasurer of Ireland, 1674. 
 He held several offices under King William and Queen Anne, 
 and died 5th January, 171 1. Bishop Burnet says: "Lord Rane- 
 
134 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 what engaged him to serve the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont was to traverse the designs of a most dan- 
 gerous rival, and to relieve himself from an expense 
 which began to lie too heavy upon him. In both 
 respects the chevalier answered his purpose. 
 
 Immediately spies were placed, letters and pres- 
 ents flew about ; he was received as well as he 
 could wish ; he was permitted to ogle ; he was 
 even ogled again ; but this was all : he found that 
 the fair one was very willing to accept, but was 
 tardy in making returns. This induced him, with- 
 out giving up his pretensions to her, to seek his 
 fortune elsewhere. 
 
 Among the queen's maids of honour there was 
 one called Warmestre ; ' she was a beauty very 
 
 lagh was a young man of great parts, and as great vices ; he had 
 a pleasantness in his conversation that took much with the king, 
 and had a great dexterity in business." — History of his Own 
 Times, vol. i. p. 373. 
 
 1 Lord Orford observes that there is a family of the name of 
 Warminster, settled at Worcester, of which five persons are 
 interred in the cathedral. One of them was dean of the church, 
 and his epitaph mentions his attachment to the royal family. 
 Miss Warminster, however, was probably only a fictitious name. 
 The last Earl of Arran, who lived only a short time after the 
 period these transactions are supposed to have happened, asserted 
 that the maid of honour here spoken of was Miss Mary Kirk, 
 sister of the Countess of Oxford, and who, three years after she 
 was driven from court, married Sir Thomas Vernon, under the 
 supposed character of a widow. It was not improbable she then 
 assumed the name of Warminster. In the year 1669, the follow- 
 ing is the list of the maids of honour to the queen: I. Mrs. 
 Simona Carew. 2. Mrs. Catherine Bainton. 3. Mrs. Henrietta 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 135 
 
 different from the other. Mrs. Middleton ' was 
 well made, fair, and delicate, but had in her 
 behaviour and discourse something precise and 
 affected. The indolent, languishing airs she gave 
 herself did not please everybody ; people grew 
 weary of those sentiments of delicacy, which she 
 endeavoured to explain without understanding them 
 herself, and, instead of entertaining, she became 
 tiresome. In these attempts she gave herself so 
 much trouble that she made the company uneasy, 
 and her ambition to pass for a wit only established 
 her the reputation of being tiresome, which lasted 
 much longer than her beauty. 
 
 Miss Warmestre was brown ; she had no shape 
 at all, and still less air ; but she had a very lively 
 complexion, very sparkling eyes, tempting looks, 
 which spared nothing that might engage a lover, 
 and promised everything which could preserve 
 him. In the end it very plainly appeared that her 
 consent went along with her eyes to the last 
 degree of indiscretion. 
 
 It was between these two goddesses that the 
 inclinations of the Chevalier de Grammont stood 
 wavering, and between whom his presents were 
 
 Maria Price. 4. Mrs. Winifred Wells. The lady who had then 
 the office of mother of the maids, was Lady Saunderson. See 
 " Chamberlayne's Angliae Notitia," 1699, p. 301. 
 
 1 Mrs. Jane Middleton, according to Mrs. Granger, was a 
 woman of small fortune, but great beauty. Her portrait is in 
 the gallery at Windsor. 
 
136 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 divided. Perfumed gloves, pocket looking-glasses, 
 elegant boxes, apricot paste, essences, and other 
 small wares of love, arrived every week from 
 Paris, with some new suit for himself ; but, with 
 regard to more solid presents, such as earrings, 
 diamonds, brilliants, and bright guineas, all this 
 was to be met with of the best sort in London, 
 and the ladies were as well pleased with them as 
 if they had been brought from abroad. 
 
 Miss Stewart's ' beauty began at this time to 
 be celebrated. The Countess of Castlemaine per- 
 ceived that the king paid attention to her ; but, 
 instead of being alarmed at it, she favoured, as far 
 as she was able, this new inclination, whether from 
 an indiscretion common to all those who think 
 themselves superior to the rest of mankind, or 
 whether she designed, by this pastime, to divert 
 the king's attention from the commerce which she 
 
 1 Frances, Duchess of Richmond, daughter of Walter Stewart, 
 son of Walter, Baron of Blantyre, and wife of Charles Stewart, 
 Duke of Richmond and Lennox ; a lady of exquisite beauty, if 
 justly represented in a puncheon made by Roettiere, his Majesty's 
 engraver of the mint, in order to strike a medal of her, which 
 exhibits the finest face that perhaps was ever seen. The king 
 was supposed to be desperately in love with her, and it became 
 common discourse that there was a design on foot to get him 
 divorced from the queen, in order to marry this lady. Lord 
 Clarendon was thought to have promoted the match with the 
 Duke of Richmond, thereby to prevent the other design, which 
 he imagined would hurt the king's character, embroil his affairs 
 at present, and entail all the evils of a disputed succession on 
 the nation. Whether he actually encouraged the Duke of 
 Richmond's marriage doth not appear, but it is certain that he 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 137 
 
 held with Jermyn. She was not satisfied with 
 appearing without any degree of uneasiness at a 
 preference which all the court began to remark ; 
 she even affected to make Miss Stewart her 
 favourite, and invited her to all the entertainments 
 she made for the king, and, in confidence of her 
 own charms, with the greatest indiscretion she 
 often kept her to sleep. The king, who seldom 
 neglected to visit the countess before she rose, 
 seldom failed likewise to find Miss Stewart in bed 
 with her. The most indifferent objects have charms 
 in a new attachment ; however, the imprudent 
 countess was not jealous of this rival's appearing 
 with her in such a situation, being confident that 
 whenever she thought fit, she could triumph over 
 all the advantages which these opportunities could 
 afford Miss Stewart ; but she was quite mistaken. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont took notice of this 
 conduct, without being able to comprehend it ; 
 
 was so strongly possessed of the king's inclination to a divorce 
 that, even after his disgrace, he was persuaded the Duke of 
 Buckingham had undertaken to carry that matter through the 
 Parliament. It is certain, too, that the king considered him as 
 the chief promoter of Miss Stewart's marriage, and resented it in 
 the highest degree. The ceremony took place privately, and it 
 was publicly declared in April, 1667. From one of Sir Robert 
 Southwell's despatches, dated Lisbon, December ^, 1667, it 
 appears that the report of the queen's intended divorce had not 
 then subsided in her native country. — History of the Revolutions 
 of Portugal, 1740, p. 352. The duchess became a widow in 1672, 
 and died Oct. 15, 1702. See "Burnet's History," "Ludlow's 
 Memoirs," and Carte's " Life of the Duke of Ormond." A figure 
 in wax of this duchess is still to be seen in Westminster Abbey. 
 
138 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 but, as he was attentive to the inclinations of the 
 king, he began to make his court to him, by 
 enhancing the merit of this new mistress. Her 
 figure was more showy than engaging ; it was 
 hardly possible for a woman to have less wit, or 
 more beauty ; all her features were fine and regu- 
 lar, but her shape was not good ; yet she was 
 slender, straight enough, and taller than the gen- 
 erality of women ; she was very graceful, danced 
 well, and spoke French better than her mother 
 tongue ; she was well bred, and possessed, in per- 
 fection, that air of dress which is so much 
 admired, and which cannot be attained, unless it 
 be taken when young, in France. While her 
 charms were gaining ground in the king's heart, 
 the Countess of Castlemaine amused herself in 
 the gratification of all her caprices. 
 
 Mrs. Hyde ' was one of the first of the beauties 
 who were prejudiced with a blind prepossession in 
 favour of Jermyn. She had just married a man 
 whom she loved ; by this marriage she became 
 sister-in-law to the duchess, brilliant by her own 
 native lustre, and full of pleasantry and wit. 
 However, she was of opinion that, so long as she 
 was not talked of on account of Jermyn, all her 
 
 'Theodosia, daughter of Arthur, Lord Capel, first wife of 
 Henry Hyde, the second Earl of Clarendon. 
 
 [There was another Mrs. Hyde, — Mrs. Laurence Hyde (a 
 brother of Henry Hyde), — a woman of exemplary virtue; her 
 husband was, on the death of Wilmot, created Earl of Rochester, 
 and was lord high treasurer under James II.] 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 139 
 
 other advantages would avail nothing for her 
 glory ; it was, therefore, to receive this finishing 
 stroke, that she resolved to throw herself into his 
 arms. 
 
 She was of a middle size, had a skin of a daz- 
 zling whiteness, fine hands, and a foot surprisingly 
 beautiful, even in England ; long custom had given 
 such a languishing tenderness to her looks, that 
 she never opened her eyes but like a Chinese, and, 
 when she ogled, one would have thought she was 
 doing something else. 
 
 Jermyn accepted of her at first ; but, being soon 
 puzzled what to do with her, he thought it best to 
 sacrifice her to Lady Castlemaine. The sacrifice 
 was far from being displeasing to her ; it was much 
 to her glory to have carried off Jermyn from so 
 many competitors ; but this was of no consequence 
 in the end. 
 
 Jacob Hall (the famous rope-dancer) 1 was at 
 that time in vogue in London ; his strength and 
 agility charmed in public, even to a wish to know 
 what he was in private ; for he appeared, in his 
 tumbling dress, to be quite of a different make, 
 
 1 " There was a symmetry and elegance, as well as strength 
 and agility, in the person of Jacob Hall, which was much ad- 
 mired by the ladies, who regarded him as a due composition of 
 Hercules and Adonis. The open-hearted Duchess of Cleveland 
 was said to have been in love with this rope-dancer and Good- 
 man the player at the same time. The former received a salary 
 from her Grace." — Granger, vol. ii. part 2, p. 461. In refer- 
 ence to the connection between the duchess and the rope-dancer, 
 
140 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 and to have limbs very different from the fortu- 
 nate Jermyn. The tumbler did not deceive Lady 
 Castlemaine's expectations, if report may be be- 
 lieved, and as was intimated in many a song, much 
 more to the honour of the rope-dancer than of the 
 countess ; but she despised all these rumours, and 
 only appeared still more handsome. 
 
 While satire thus found employment at her cost, 
 there were continual contests for the favours of 
 another beauty, who was not much more niggardly 
 in that way than herself ; this was the Countess of 
 Shrewsbury. 
 
 The Earl of Arran, who had been one of her 
 first admirers, was not one of the last to desert 
 her. This beauty, less famous for her conquests 
 than for the misfortunes she occasioned, placed 
 her greatest merits in being more capricious than 
 any other. As no person could boast of being 
 the only one in her favour, so no person could 
 complain of having been ill received . 
 
 Jermyn was displeased that she had made no 
 advances to him, without considering that she had 
 no leisure for it ; his pride was offended ; but the 
 
 Mr. Pope introduced the following lines into his " Sober Advice 
 from Horace : " 
 
 : What pushed poor E s on th' imperial 
 
 'Twas but to be where Charles had been before. 
 The fatal steel unjustly was apply'd, 
 When not his lust offended, but his pride : 
 Too hard a penance for defeated sin, 
 Himself shut out, and Jacob Hall let in." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 141 
 
 attempt which he made to take her from the rest 
 of her lovers was very ill-advised. 
 
 Thomas Howard, brother to the Earl of Car- 
 lisle, 1 was one of them ; there was not a braver, 
 nor a more genteel man in England ; and though 
 he was of a modest demeanour, and his manners 
 appeared gentle and pacific, no person was more 
 spirited nor more passionate. Lady Shrewsbury, 
 inconsiderately returning the first ogles of the 
 invincible Jermyn, did not at all make herself more 
 agreeable to Howard ; that, however, she paid little 
 attention to ; yet, as she designed to keep fair with 
 him, she consented to accept an entertainment 
 which he had often proposed, and which she durst 
 no longer refuse. A place of amusement, called 
 Spring Garden, 2 was fixed upon for the scene of 
 this entertainment. 
 
 As soon as the party was settled, Jermyn was 
 privately informed of it. Howard had a company 
 in the regiment of guards, and one of the soldiers 
 of his company played pretty well on the bag- 
 pipes ; this soldier was therefore at the entertain- 
 
 1 Thomas Howard, fourth son of Sir William Howard. He 
 married Mary, Duchess of Richmond, daughter of George Vil- 
 liers, Duke of Buckingham, and died 1678. See "Madame 
 Dunois's Memoirs of the English Court," 8vo, 1708. 
 
 a This place appears, from the description of its situation in 
 the following extract, and in some ancient plans, to have been 
 near Charing Cross, probably where houses are now built, 
 though still retaining the name of gardens. Spring Garden is 
 the scene of intrigue in many of our comedies of this period. 
 
142 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ment. Jermyn was at the garden as by chance, and, 
 puffed up with his former successes, he trusted to 
 his victorious air for accomplishing this last enter- 
 prise ; he no sooner appeared on the walks, than 
 her ladyship showed herself upon the balcony. 
 
 I know not how she stood affected to her hero, 
 but Howard did not fancy him much ; this did not 
 prevent his coming up-stairs upon the first sign 
 she made to him, and, not content with acting the 
 petty tyrant, at an entertainment not made for 
 himself, no sooner had he gained the soft looks of 
 the fair one, than he exhausted all his common- 
 place, and all his stock of low irony, in railing at 
 the entertainment, and ridiculing the music. 
 
 Howard possessed but little raillery, and still 
 less patience ; three times was the banquet on the 
 point of being stained with blood, but three times 
 did he suppress his natural impetuosity, in order 
 to satisfy his resentment elsewhere with greater 
 freedom. 
 
 Jermyn, without paying the least attention to 
 his ill-humour, pursued his point, continued talk- 
 ing to Lady Shrewsbury, and did not leave her 
 until the repast was ended. 
 
 He went to bed, proud of his triumph, and was 
 awakened next morning by a challenge. He took 
 for his second Giles Rawlings, a man of intrigue 
 and a deep player. Howard took Dillon, who was 
 dexterous and brave, much of a gentleman, and, 
 unfortunately, an intimate friend to Rawlings. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 143 
 
 In this duel fortune did not side with the 
 votaries of love ; poor Rawlings was left stone 
 dead, and Jermyn, having received three wounds, 
 was carried to his uncle's, with very little signs of 
 life. 
 
 While the report of this event engaged the 
 courtiers according to their several interests, the 
 Chevalier de Grammont was informed by Jones, 
 his friend, his confidant, and his rival, that there 
 was another gentleman very attentive to Mrs. 
 Middleton ; this was Montagu, 1 no very dangerous 
 rival on account of his person, but very much 
 to be feared for his assiduity, the acuteness of his 
 wit, and for some other talents which are of 
 importance, when a man is once permitted to 
 display them. 
 
 There needed not half so much to bring into 
 action all the chevalier's vivacity, in point of 
 competition ; vexation awakened in him whatever 
 expedients the desire of revenge, malice, and expe- 
 rience could suggest, for troubling the designs of 
 a rival, and tormenting a mistress. His first 
 
 1 Ralph Montagu, second son of Edward, Lord Montagu. 
 He took a very decided part in the prosecution of the popish 
 plot, in 1678, but on the sacrifice of his friend, Lord Russell, he 
 retired to Montpelier during the rest of King Charles!s reign. 
 He was active at the Revolution, and soon after created Vis- 
 count Month ermer and Earl of Montagu. In 1705 he became 
 Marquis of Monthermer, and Duke of Montagu. He married 
 the widow of the Duke of Northumberland at Paris. He died 
 7th March, 1709, in his seventy-third year. 
 
144 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 intention was to return her letters, and demand 
 his presents, before he began to tease her ; but, 
 rejecting this project, as too weak a revenge for 
 the injustice done him, he was upon the point of 
 conspiring the destruction of poor Mrs. Middleton, 
 when, by accident, he met with Miss Hamilton. 
 From this moment ended all his resentment 
 against Mrs. Middleton and all his attachment to 
 Miss Warmestre ; no longer was he inconstant, 
 no longer were his wishes fluctuating ; this object 
 fixed them all, and, of all his former habits, none 
 remained except uneasiness and jealousy. 
 
 Here his first care was to please ; but he very 
 plainly saw that, to succeed, he must act quite in 
 a different manner to that which he had been 
 accustomed to. 
 
 The family of the Hamiltons, being very numer- 
 ous, lived in a large and commodious house, near 
 the court ; the Duke of Ormond's family was 
 continually with them, and here persons of the 
 greatest distinction in London constantly met. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was here received in 
 a manner agreeable to his merit and quality, and 
 was astonished that he had spent so much time in 
 other places ; for, after having made this acquaint- 
 ance, he was desirous of no other. 
 
 All the world agreed that Miss Hamilton * was 
 
 1 Elizabeth, sister of the author of these " Memoirs," and 
 daughter of Sir George Hamilton, fourth son of James, the 
 first Earl of Abercorn, by Mary, third daughter of Thomas, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 145 
 
 worthy of the most ardent and sincere affection ; 
 nobody could boast a nobler birth, nothing was 
 more charming than her person. 
 
 Viscount Thurles, eldest son of Walter, eleventh Earl of 
 Ormond, and sister to James, the first Duke of Ormond. She 
 married Philibert, Count of Grammont, the hero of these " Me- 
 moirs," by whom she had two daughters. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 !HE Chevalier de Grammont, never satis- 
 fied in his amours, was fortunate without 
 being beloved, and became jealous with- 
 out having an attachment. 
 
 Mrs. Middleton, as we have said, was going to 
 experience what methods he could invent to tor- 
 ment, after having experienced his powers of 
 pleasing. 
 
 He went in search of her to the queen's 
 drawing-room, where there was a ball ; there 
 she was, but, fortunately for her, Miss Ham- 
 ilton was there likewise. It had so happened 
 that, of all the beautiful women at court, this was 
 the lady whom he had least seen, and whom he 
 had heard most commended ; this, therefore, was 
 the first time that he had a close view of her, and 
 he soon found that he had seen nothing at court 
 before this instant. He asked her some questions, 
 to which she replied ; as long as she was dancing, 
 his eyes were fixed upon her ; and from this time 
 he no longer resented Mrs. Middleton's conduct. 
 Miss Hamilton was at the happy age when the 
 charms of the fair sex begin to bloom ; she had 
 146 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 147 
 
 the finest shape, the loveliest neck, and most 
 beautiful arms in the world ; she was majestic and 
 graceful in all her movements ; and she was the 
 original after which all the ladies copied in their 
 taste and air of dress. Her forehead was open, 
 white, and smooth ; her hair was well set, and fell 
 with ease into that natural order which it is so dif- 
 ficult to imitate. Her complexion was possessed of 
 a certain freshness, not to be equalled by borrowed 
 colours ; her eyes were not large, but they were 
 lively, and capable of expressing whatever she 
 pleased ; her mouth was full of graces, and her 
 contour uncommonly perfect ; nor was her nose, 
 which was small, delicate, and turned up, the least 
 ornament of so lovely a face. In fine, her air, her car- 
 riage, and the numberless graces dispersed over her 
 whole person, made the Chevalier de Grammont not 
 doubt but that she was possessed of every other 
 qualification. Her mind was a proper companion 
 for such a form : she did not endeavor to shine in 
 conversation by those sprightly sallies which only 
 puzzle, and with still greater care she avoided that 
 affected solemnity in her discourse, which produces 
 stupidity ; but, without any eagerness to talk, 
 she just said what she ought, and no more. She 
 had an admirable discernment in distinguishing 
 between solid and false wit, and far from making 
 an ostentatious display of her abilities, she was 
 reserved, though very just in her decisions ; her 
 sentiments were always noble, and even lofty to 
 
148 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the highest extent, when there was occasion ; 
 nevertheless, she was less prepossessed with her 
 own merit than is usually the case with those who 
 have so much. Formed as we have described, 
 she could not fail of commanding love ; but so far 
 was she from courting it, that she was scrupulously 
 nice with respect to those whose merit might 
 entitle them to form any pretensions to her. 
 
 The more the Chevalier de Grammont was con- 
 vinced of these truths, the more did he endeavour 
 to please and engage her in his turn ; his enter- 
 taining wit, his conversation, lively, easy, and 
 always distinguished by novelty, constantly gained 
 him attention, but he was much embarrassed to 
 find that presents, which so easily made their way 
 in his former method of courtship, were no longer 
 proper in the mode which, for the future, he was 
 obliged to pursue. 
 
 He had an old valet de chambre, called Termes, 
 a bold thief, and a still more impudent liar ; he 
 used to send this man from London every week, 
 on the commissions we have before mentioned, 
 but after the disgrace of Mrs. Middleton, and the 
 adventure of Miss Warmestre, Mr. Termes was 
 only employed in bringing his master's clothes 
 from Paris, and he did not always acquit himself 
 with the greatest fidelity in that employment, as 
 will appear hereafter. 
 
 The queen was a woman of sense, and used all 
 her endeavours to please the king, by that kind. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 149 
 
 obliging behaviour which her affection made natural 
 to her : she was particularly attentive in promoting 
 every sort of pleasure and amusement, especially 
 such as she could be present at herself. 
 
 She had contrived, for this purpose, a splendid 
 masquerade, where those, whom she appointed to 
 dance, had to represent different nations ; she 
 allowed some time for preparation, during which 
 we may suppose the tailors, the mantua-makers, 
 and embroiderers were not idle. Nor were the 
 beauties, who were to be there, less anxiously 
 employed ; however, Miss Hamilton found time 
 enough to invent two or three little tricks, in a 
 conjuncture so favourable, for turning into ridicule 
 the vain fools of the court. There were two who 
 were very eminently such ; the one was Lady 
 Muskerry, 1 who had married her cousin german, 
 and the other a maid of honour to the duchess, 
 called Blague. 2 
 
 1 Lady Margaret, only child of Ulick, fifth Earl of Clanricade, 
 by Lady Anne Compton, daughter of William, Earl of North- 
 ampton. She was three times married: 1. To Charles, Lord 
 Viscount Muskerry, who lost his life in the great sea-fight with 
 the Dutch, 3d June, 1665. 2. In 1676, to Robert Villiers, called 
 Viscount Purbeck, who died in 1685. 3. To Robert Fielding, 
 Esq. She died in August, 1698. Lord Orford, by mistake, 
 calls her Elizabeth, daughter of the Earl of Kildare. See Note 
 on vol. ii. p. 210. 
 
 * It appears, by " Chamberlayne's Anglias Notitia," 1669, that 
 this lady, or perhaps her sister, continued one of the duchess's 
 maids of honour at that period. The list, at that time, was as 
 follows: 1. Mrs. Arabella Churchill. 2. Mrs. Dorothy Howard. 
 
150 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 The first, whose husband most assuredly never 
 married her for beauty, was made like the gen- 
 erality of rich heiresses, to whom just nature 
 seems sparing of her gifts, in proportion as they 
 are loaded with those of fortune : she had the 
 shape of a woman big with child, without being 
 so ; but had a very good reason for limping, for, 
 of two legs uncommonly short, one was much 
 shorter than the other. A face suitable to this 
 description gave the finishing stroke to this 
 disagreeable figure. 
 
 Miss Blague was another species of ridicule ; her 
 shape was neither good nor bad ; her countenance 
 bore the appearance of the greatest insipidity, and 
 her complexion was the same all over, with two 
 little hollow eyes, adorned with white eyelashes, 
 as long as one's finger. With these attractions 
 she placed herself in ambuscade to surprise un- 
 
 3. Mrs. Anne Ogle. 4. Mrs. Mary Blague. The mother of the 
 maids then was Mrs. Lucy Wise. Miss Blague performed the part 
 of Diana, in Crown's " Calisto," acted at court in 1675, ar, d was 
 then styled late maid of honour to the queen. Lord Orford, how- 
 ever, it should be observed, calls her Henrietta Maria, daughter of 
 Colonel Blague. It appears she became the wife of Sir Thomas 
 Yarborough, of Snaith, in Yorkshire. She was also, he says, 
 sister of the wife of Sydney, Lord Godolphin. That nobleman 
 married, according to Collins, in his peerage, Margaret, at that 
 time maid of honour to Katherine, Queen of England, fourth 
 daughter, and one of the co-heirs of Thomas Blague, Esq., 
 groom of the bedchamber to Charles I. and Charles II., colonel 
 of a regiment of foot, and governor of Wallingford during the 
 civil wars, and governor of Yarmouth and Languard Fort after 
 the Restoration. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 151 
 
 wary hearts ; but she might have done so in vain, 
 had it not been for the arrival of the Marquis de 
 Brisacier. Heaven seemed to have made them for 
 each other ; he had in his person and manners 
 every requisite to dazzle a creature of her char- 
 acter : he talked eternally, without saying anything, 
 and in his dress exceeded the most extravagant 
 fashions. Miss Blague believed that all this finery 
 was on her account ; and the marquis believed that 
 her long eyelashes had never taken aim at any but 
 himself ; everybody perceived their inclination for 
 each other, but they had only conversed by mute 
 interpreters, when Miss Hamilton took it into her 
 head to intermeddle in their affairs. 
 
 She was willing to do everything in order, and 
 therefore began with her cousin Muskerry, on 
 account of her rank. Her two darling foibles 
 were dress and dancing. Magnificence of dress 
 was intolerable with her figure ; and though her 
 dancing was still more insupportable, she never 
 missed a ball at court, and the queen had so 
 much complaisance for the public, as always to 
 make her dance ; but it was impossible to give 
 her a part in an entertainment so important and 
 splendid as this masquerade. However, she was 
 dying with impatience for the orders she expected. 
 
 It was in consequence of this impatience, of 
 which Miss Hamilton was informed, that she 
 founded the design of diverting herself at the 
 expense of this silly woman. The queen sent 
 
152 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 notes to those whom she appointed to be pres- 
 ent, and described the manner in which they were 
 to be dressed. Miss Hamilton wrote a note ex- 
 actly in the same manner to Lady Muskerry, with 
 directions for her to be dressed in the Babylonian 
 fashion. 
 
 She assembled her council to advise about the 
 means of sending it ; this cabinet was composed 
 of one of her brothers and a sister, who were glad 
 to divert themselves at the expense of those who 
 deserved it. After having consulted some time, 
 they at last resolved upon a mode of conveying it 
 into her own hands. Lord Muskerry was just going 
 out, when she received it. He was a man of honour, 
 rather serious, very severe, and a mortal enemy to 
 ridicule. His wife's deformity was not so intoler- 
 able to him, as the ridiculous figure she made upon 
 all occasions. He thought that he was safe in the 
 present case, not believing that the queen would 
 spoil her masquerade by naming Lady Muskerry 
 as one of the dancers ; nevertheless, as he was 
 acquainted with the passion his wife had to expose 
 herself in public, by her dress and dancing, he had 
 just been advising her very seriously to content 
 herself with being a spectator of this entertain- 
 ment, even though the queen should have the 
 cruelty to engage her in it. He then took the 
 liberty to show her what little similarity there was 
 between her figure and that of persons to whom 
 dancing and magnificence in dress were allowable. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 153 
 
 His sermon concluded, at last, by an express prohi- 
 bition to solicit a place at this entertainment, which 
 they had no thoughts of giving her ; but far from 
 taking his advice in good part, she imagined that 
 he was the only person who had prevented the 
 queen from doing her an honour she so ardently 
 desired, and as soon as he was gone out, her de- 
 sign was to go and throw herself at her Majesty's 
 feet to demand justice. She was in this very dis- 
 position when she received the billet ; three times 
 did she kiss it, and without regarding her hus- 
 band's injunctions, she immediately got into her 
 coach in order to get information, of the merchants 
 who traded to the Levant, in what manner the 
 ladies of quality dressed in Babylon. 
 
 The plot laid for Miss Blague was of a different 
 kind : she had such faith in her charms, and was 
 so confident of their effects, that she could believe 
 anything. Brisacier, whom she looked upon as 
 desperately smitten, had wit, which he set off with 
 commonplace talk, and with little sonnets ; he 
 sung out of tune most methodically, and was 
 continually exerting one or other of these happy 
 talents. The Duke of Buckingham did all he could 
 to spoil him, by the praises he bestowed both upon 
 his voice and upon his wit. 
 
 Miss Blague, who hardly understood a word of 
 French, regulated herself upon the duke's author- 
 ity, in admiring the one and the other. It was 
 remarked that all the words which he sung to her 
 
154 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 were in praise of fair women, and that, always tak- 
 ing this to herself, she cast down her eyes in ac- 
 knowledgment and consciousness. It was upon 
 these observations they resolved to make a jest 
 of her the first opportunity. 
 
 Whilst these little projects were forming, the 
 king, who always wished to oblige the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, asked him if he would make one at 
 the masquerade, on condition of being Miss Ham- 
 ilton's partner ? He did not pretend to dance 
 sufficiently well for an occasion like the present ; 
 yet he was far from refusing the offer. " Sire," 
 said he, " of all the favours you have been pleased 
 to show me, since my arrival, I feel this more 
 sensibly than any other ; and to convince you of 
 my gratitude, I promise you all the good offices 
 in my power with Miss Stewart." He said this 
 because they had just given her an apartment sep- 
 arate from the rest of the maids of honour, which 
 made the courtiers begin to pay respect to her. 
 The king was very well pleased at this pleasantry, 
 and having thanked him for so necessary an offer, 
 " Monsieur le Chevalier," said he, " in what style 
 do you intend to dress yourself for the ball ? I 
 leave you the choice of all countries." "If so," 
 said the chevalier, " I will dress after the French 
 manner, in order to disguise myself ; for they 
 already do me the honour to take me for an 
 Englishman in your city of London. Had it not 
 been for this, I should have wished to have ap- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 155 
 
 peared as a Roman ; but for fear of embroiling 
 myself with Prince Rupert, 1 who so warmly 
 espouses the interests of Alexander against Lord 
 Thanet, 2 who declares himself for Caesar, I dare 
 no longer think of assuming the hero : neverthe- 
 less, though I may dance awkwardly, yet by ob- 
 serving the tune, and with a little alertness, I hope 
 to come off pretty well ; besides, Miss Hamilton 
 will take care that too much attention shall not 
 be paid to me. As for my dress, I shall send 
 Termes off to-morrow morning ; and if I do not 
 show you at his return the most splendid habit 
 you have ever seen, look upon mine as the most 
 disgraced nation in your masquerade." 
 
 Termes set out with ample instructions on the 
 subject of his journey, and his master, redoubling 
 his impatience on an occasion like the present, 
 before the courier could be landed, began to count 
 
 1 Grandson of James the First, whose actions during the civil 
 wars are well known. He was born 19th December, 1619, and 
 died at his house in Spring Gardens, November 22, 1682. Lord 
 Clarendon says of him, that " he was rough and passionate, and 
 loved not debate ; liked what was proposed, as he liked the per- 
 sons who proposed it ; and was so great an enemy to Digby and 
 Colepepper, who were only present in the debates of the war 
 with the officers, that he crossed all they proposed." — History of 
 the Rebellion, vol. ii. 554. He is supposed to have invented the 
 art of mezzotinto. 
 
 2 This nobleman, I believe, was John Tufton, second Earl of 
 Thanet, who died 6th May, 1664. Lord Orford, however, im- 
 agines him to have been Nicholas Tufton, the third Earl of 
 Thanet, his eldest son, who died 24th November, 1679. Both 
 these noblemen suffered much for their loyalty. 
 
156 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the minutes in expectation of his return ; thus 
 was he employed until the very eve of the ball, 
 and that was the day that Miss Hamilton and her 
 little society had fixed for the execution of their 
 project. 
 
 Martial gloves were then very much in fashion : 
 she had by chance several pairs of them ; she sent 
 one to Miss Blague, accompanied with four yards 
 of yellow riband, the palest she could find, to 
 which she added this note : 
 
 " You were the other day more charming than 
 all the fair women in the world : you looked yes- 
 terday still more fair than you did the day before ; 
 if you go on, what will become of my heart ? But 
 it is a long time since that has been a prey to 
 your pretty little young wild boar's eyes. 1 Shall 
 you be at the masquerade to-morrow ? But can 
 there be any charms at an entertainment at which 
 you are not present ? It does not signify ; I shall 
 know you in whatever disguise you may be, but I 
 shall be better informed of my fate by the present 
 I send you ; you will wear knots of this riband in 
 your hair, and these gloves will kiss the most 
 beautiful hands in the universe." 
 
 This billet, with the present, was delivered to 
 Miss Blague, with the same success as the other 
 
 1 Marcassin is French for a wild boar : the eyes of this crea- 
 ture being remarkably small and lively, from thence the French 
 say, " des yeux marcassins" to signify little, though roguish, 
 eyes ; or, as we say, pigs' eyes. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 157 
 
 had been conveyed to Lady Muskerry. Miss 
 Hamilton had just received an account of it, 
 when the latter came to pay her a visit ; some- 
 thing seemed to possess her thoughts very much, 
 when, having stayed some time, her cousin desired 
 her to walk into her cabinet. As soon as they 
 were there, " I desire your secrecy for what I am 
 going to tell you," said Lady Muskerry. " Do 
 not you wonder what strange creatures men are ? 
 Do not trust to them, my dear cousin ; my Lord 
 Muskerry, who, before our marriage, could have 
 passed whole days and nights in seeing me dance, 
 thinks proper now to forbid me dancing, and says 
 it does not become me. This is not all ; he has 
 so often rung in my ears the subject of this mas- 
 querade, that I am obliged to hide from him the 
 honour the queen has done me in inviting me 
 to it. However, I am surprised I am not in- 
 formed who is to be my partner ; but if you knew 
 what a plague it is to find out, in this cursed town, 
 in what manner the people of Babylon dress, you 
 would pity me for what I have suffered since the 
 time I have been appointed ; besides, the cost 
 which it puts me to is beyond all imagination." 
 
 Here it was that Miss Hamilton's inclination to 
 laugh, which had increased in proportion as she 
 endeavoured to suppress it, at length overcame 
 her, and broke out into an immoderate fit ; 
 Lady Muskerry took it in good humour, not 
 doubting but it was the fantastical conduct of 
 
158 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 her husband that she was laughing at. Miss 
 Hamilton told her that all husbands were much 
 the same, and that one ought not to be concerned 
 at their whims ; that she did not know who was 
 to be her partner at the masquerade, but that, as 
 she was named, the gentleman named with her 
 would certainly not fail to attend her, although 
 she could not comprehend why he had not yet 
 declared himself, unless he likewise had some 
 fantastical spouse, who had forbid him to dance. 
 
 This conversation being finished, Lady Mus- 
 kerry went away in great haste, to endeavour to 
 learn some news of her partner. Those who were 
 accomplices in the plot were laughing very heartily 
 at this visit, when Lord Muskerry paid them one 
 in his turn, and taking Miss Hamilton aside, " Do 
 you know," said he, "whether there is to be any 
 ball in the city to-morrow ? " " No," said she ; 
 " but why do you ask ? " " Because," said he, " I 
 am informed that my wife is making great prepa- 
 rations of dress. I know very well she is not to 
 be at the masquerade : that I have taken care of ; 
 but as the devil is in her for dancing, I am very 
 much afraid that she will be affording some fresh 
 subject for ridicule, notwithstanding all my pre- 
 cautions. However, if it was amongst the citizens 
 at some private party, I should not much mind 
 it." 
 
 They satisfied him as well as they could, and 
 having dismissed him, under pretence of a thou- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 159 
 
 sand things they had to prepare for the next day, 
 Miss Hamilton thought herself at liberty for that 
 morning, when in came Miss Price, one of the 
 maids of honour to the duchess. 1 This was just 
 what she was wishing for. This lady and Miss 
 Blague had been at variance some time, on account 
 of Duncan, 2 whom Miss Price had drawn away 
 from the other ; and hatred still subsisted be- 
 tween these two divinities. 
 
 Though the maids of honour were not nomi- 
 nated for the masquerade, yet they were to assist 
 at it, and, consequently, were to neglect nothing 
 to set themselves off to advantage. Miss Hamil- 
 ton had still another pair- of gloves of the same 
 sort as those she had sent to Miss Blague, which 
 she made a present of to her rival, with a few 
 knots of the same riband, which appeared to have 
 been made on purpose for her, brown as she was. 
 Miss Price returned her a thousand thanks, and 
 promised to do herself the honour of wearing them 
 at the ball. " You will oblige me if you do," said 
 
 1 Our author's memory here fails him : Miss Price was maid 
 of honour to the queen. Mr. Granger says, there was a Lady 
 Price, a fine woman, who was daughter of Sir Edmond Warcup, 
 concerning whom see Wood's " Fasti Oxon," ii. 184. Her 
 father had the vanity to think that Charles II. would marry her, 
 though he had then a queen. There were letters of his wherein 
 he mentioned, that " his daughter was one night and t'other with 
 the king, and very graciously received by him." — History of 
 England, vol. iv. p. 338. 
 
 2 I believe this name should be written Dongan. Lord Orford 
 says, of this house were the ancient Earls of Limerick. 
 
160 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Miss Hamilton ; " but if you mention that such a 
 trifle as this comes from me, I shall never forgive 
 you. But," continued she, "do not go and rob 
 poor Miss Blague of the Marquis Brisacier, as you 
 already have of Duncan. I know very well that 
 it is wholly in your power ; you have wit ; you 
 speak French ; and were he once to converse with 
 you ever so little, the other could have no preten- 
 sions to him." This was enough. Miss Blague was 
 only ridiculous and coquettish ; Miss Price was 
 ridiculous, coquettish, and something else besides. 
 
 The day being come, the court, more splendid 
 than ever, exhibited all its magnificence at this 
 masquerade. The conjpany were all met except 
 the Chevalier de Grammont. Everybody was as- 
 tonished that he should be one of the last at such 
 a time, as his readiness was so remarkable on 
 every occasion ; but they were still more surprised 
 to see him at length appear in an ordinary court 
 dress which he had worn before. The thing was 
 preposterous on such an occasion, and very ex- 
 traordinary with respect to him. In vain had he 
 the finest point lace, with the largest and best 
 powdered peruke imaginable ; his dress, magnifi- 
 cent enough for any other purpose, was not at all 
 proper for this entertainment. 
 
 The king immediately took notice of it. " Chev- 
 alier," said he, "Termes is not arrived, then?" 
 " Pardon me, Sire," said he, " God be thanked ! " 
 " Why God be thanked ? " said the king ; " has 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 161 
 
 anything happened to him on the road ? " " Sire," 
 said the Chevalier de Grammont, "this is the his- 
 tory of my dress and of Termes, my messenger." 
 At these words the ball, ready to begin, was sus- 
 pended ; the dancers making a circle around the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, he continued his story in 
 the following manner : 
 
 " It is now two days since this fellow ought to 
 have been here, according to my orders and his 
 protestations ; you may judge of my impatience all 
 this day, when I found he did not come. At last, 
 after I had heartily cursed him, about an hour ago 
 he arrived, splashed all over from head to foot, 
 booted up to the waist, and looking as if he had 
 been excommunicated. ' Very well, Mr. Scoun- 
 drel,' said I, 'this is just like you; you must be 
 waited for to the very last minute, and it is a 
 miracle that you are arrived at all' 'Yes, faith,' 
 said he, 'it is a miracle. You are always grum- 
 bling. I had the finest suit in the world made for 
 you, which the Duke de Guise himself was at the 
 trouble of ordering.' 'Give it me, then, scoun- 
 drel,' said I. ' Sir,' said he, ' if I did not employ a 
 dozen embroiderers upon it, who did nothing but 
 work day and night, I am a rascal ; I never left 
 them one moment.' 'And where is it, traitor?' 
 said I. ' Do not stand here prating, while I 
 should be dressing.' ' I had,' continued he, 
 ' packed it up, made it tight, and folded it in such 
 a manner that all the rain in the world could never 
 
1 62 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 have been able to reach it ; and I rid post, day 
 and night, knowing your impatience and that you 
 were not to be trifled with.' ' But where is it ? ' 
 said I. ' Lost, sir,' said he, clasping his hands. 
 1 How ! Lost ? ' said I, in surprise. ' Yes, lost, 
 perished, swallowed up ; what can I say more ? ' 
 ' What ! was the packet-boat cast away, then ? ' 
 said I. ' Oh ! indeed, sir, a great deal worse, as 
 you shall see,' answered he. ' I was within half 
 a league of Calais, yesterday morning, and I was 
 resolved to go by the seaside, to make greater 
 haste ; but, indeed, they say very true that nothing 
 is like the highway, for I got into a quicksand, 
 where I sunk up to the chin.' 'A quicksand,' 
 said I, 'near Calais?' 'Yes, sir,' said he, 'and 
 such a quicksand that the devil take me if they 
 saw anything but the top of my head when they 
 pulled me out. As for my horse, fifteen men 
 could scarce get him out ; but the portmanteau, 
 where I had unfortunately put your clothes, could 
 never be found ; it must be at least a league 
 underground.' 
 
 " This, Sire," continued the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, "is the adventure, and the relation which 
 this honest gentleman has given me of it. I 
 should certainly have killed him, but I was afraid 
 of making Miss Hamilton wait, and I was desirous 
 of giving your Majesty immediate advice of the 
 quicksand, that your couriers may take care to 
 avoid it." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 163 
 
 The king was ready to split his sides with 
 laughing, when the Chevalier de Grammont, re- 
 suming the discourse, "Apropos, Sire," said he, 
 " I had forgot to tell you, that, to increase my ill 
 humour, I was stopped, as I was getting out of my 
 chair, by the devil of a phantom in masquerade, 
 who would by all means persuade me that the 
 queen had commanded me to dance with her ; and 
 as I excused myself with the least rudeness pos- 
 sible, she charged me to find out who was to be 
 her partner, and desired me to send him to her 
 immediately ; so that your Majesty will do well to 
 give orders about it, for she has placed herself in 
 ambush in a coach to seize upon all those who 
 pass through Whitehall. However, I must tell 
 you that it is worth while to see her dress ; for she 
 must have at least sixty ells of gauze and silver 
 tissue about her, not to mention a sort of a pyra- 
 mid upon her head, adorned with a hundred 
 thousand baubles." 
 
 This last account surprised all the assembly 
 except those who had a share in the plot. The 
 queen assured them that all she had appointed 
 for the ball were present ; and the king, having 
 paused some minutes, " I bet," said he, "that it 
 is the Duchess of Newcastle." 1 "And I," said 
 
 1 This fantastic lady, as Lord Orford properly calls her, was 
 the youngest daughter of Sir Charles Lucas, and had been one 
 of the maids of honour to Charles the First's queen, whom she 
 attended when forced to leave England. At Paris she married 
 
164 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Lord Muskerry, coming up to Miss Hamilton, 
 " will bet it is another fool ; for I am very much 
 mistaken if it is not my wife." 
 
 The king was for sending to know who it was, 
 and to bring her in. Lord Muskerry offered him- 
 self for that service, for the reason already men- 
 tioned, and it was very well he did so. Miss 
 Hamilton was not sorry for this, knowing very 
 well that he was not mistaken in his conjecture ; 
 the jest would have gone much farther than she 
 intended, if the Princess of Babylon had appeared 
 in all her glory. 
 
 The ball was not very well executed, if one may 
 be allowed the expression, so long as they danced 
 only slow dances ; and yet there were as good 
 dancers, and as beautiful women in this assembly, 
 as were to be found in the whole world ; but as 
 their number was not great, they left the French, 
 and went to country dances. When they had 
 danced some time, the king thought fit to introduce 
 his auxiliaries, to give the others a little respite ; 
 
 the Duke of Newcastle, and continued in exile with him until 
 the Restoration. After her return to England, she lived entirely 
 devoted to letters, and published many volumes of plays, poems, 
 letters, etc. She died in 1673, an d was buried in Westminster 
 Abbey. Lord Orford says there is a whole length of this 
 duchess at Welbeck, in a theatrical dress, which, tradition says, 
 she generally wore. She had always a maid of honour in wait- 
 ing during the night, who was often called up to register the 
 duchess's conceptions. These were all of a literary kind, for her 
 Grace left no children. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 165 
 
 the queen's and the duchess's maids of honour were 
 therefore called in to dance with the gentlemen. 
 
 Then it was that they were at leisure to take 
 notice of Miss Blague, and they found that the 
 billet they had conveyed to her on the part of 
 Brisacier had its effect. She was more yellow 
 than saffron ; her hair was stuffed with the citron- 
 coloured riband, which she had put there out of 
 complaisance, and, to inform Brisacier of his fate, 
 she raised often to her head her victorious hands, 
 adorned with the gloves we have before mentioned ; 
 but, if they were surprised to see her in a head- 
 dress that made her look more wan than ever, she 
 was very differently surprised to see Miss Price 
 partake with her in every particular of Brisacier's 
 present. Her surprise soon turned to jealousy ; 
 for her rival had not failed to join in conversation 
 with him, on account of what had been insinuated 
 to her the evening before, nor did Brisacier fail to 
 return her first advances, without paying the least 
 attention to the fair Blague, nor to the signs which 
 she was tormenting herself to make him, to inform 
 him of his happy destiny. 
 
 Miss Price was short and thick, and consequently 
 no dancer. The Duke of Buckingham, who brought 
 Brisacier forward as often as he could, came to 
 desire him, on the part of the king, to dance with 
 Miss Blague, without knowing what was then pass- 
 ing in this nymph's heart. Brisacier excused him- 
 self, on account of the contempt he had for country 
 
1 66 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 dances ; Miss Blague thought that it was herself 
 that he despised, and seeing that he was engaged 
 in conversation with her mortal enemy, she began 
 to dance, without knowing what she was doing. 
 Though her indignation and jealousy were suffi- 
 ciently remarkable to divert the court, none but 
 Miss Hamilton and her accomplices understood 
 the joke perfectly ; their pleasure was quite com- 
 plete, for Lord Muskerry returned, still more con- 
 founded at the vision, of which the Chevalier de 
 Grammont had given the description. He ac- 
 quainted Miss Hamilton that it was Lady Muskerry 
 herself, a thousand times more ridiculous than she 
 had ever been before, and that he had had an im- 
 mense trouble to get her home, and place a sentry 
 at her chamber door. 
 
 The reader may think, perhaps, that we have 
 dwelt too long on these trifling incidents ; perhaps 
 he may be right. We will therefore pass to others. 
 
 Everything favoured the Chevalier de Grammont 
 in the new passion which he entertained ; he was 
 not, however, without rivals, but, what is a great deal 
 more extraordinary, he was without uneasiness ; he 
 was acquainted with their understandings, and no 
 stranger to Miss Hamilton's way of thinking. 
 
 Among her lovers, the most considerable, though 
 the least professedly so, was the Duke of York ; 
 it was in vain for him to conceal it, the court was 
 too well acquainted with his character to doubt of 
 his inclinations for her. He did not think it proper 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 167 
 
 to declare such sentiments as were not fit for Miss 
 Hamilton to hear ; but he talked to her as much 
 as he could, and ogled her with great assiduity. As 
 hunting was his favourite diversion, that sport 
 employed him one part of the day, and he came 
 home generally much fatigued, but Miss Hamil- 
 ton's presence revived him, when he found her 
 either with the queen or the duchess. There it 
 was that, not daring to tell her of what lay heavy 
 on his heart, he entertained her with what he had 
 in his head, telling her miracles of the cunning of 
 foxes and the mettle of horses, giving her accounts 
 of broken legs and arms, dislocated shoulders, and 
 other curious and entertaining adventures ; after 
 which, his eyes told her the rest, till such time 
 as sleep interrupted their conversation, for these 
 tender interpreters could not help sometimes com- 
 posing themselves in the midst of their ogling. 
 
 The duchess was not at all alarmed at a passion 
 which her rival was far from thinking sincere, and 
 with which she used to divert herself, as far as 
 respect would admit her ; on the contrary, as her 
 Highness had an affection and esteem for Miss 
 Hamilton, she never treated her more graciously 
 than on the present occasion. 
 
 The two Russells, uncle * and nephew,* were two 
 
 1 Russell, third son of Francis, the fourth Earl of Bedford, and 
 colonel of the first regiment of foot-guards. He died unmarried, 
 in November, 1681. 
 
 2 William, eldest son of Edward Russell, younger brother of 
 
1 68 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 other of the Chevalier de Grammont's rivals ; the 
 uncle was full seventy, and had distinguished him- 
 self by his courage and fidelity in the civil wars. 
 His passions and intentions with regard to Miss 
 Hamilton, appeared both at once ; but his magnifi- 
 cence only appeared by halves in those gallantries 
 which love inspires. It was not long since the 
 fashion of high crowned hats had been left off, in 
 order to fall into the other extreme. Old Russell, 
 amazed at so terrible a change, resolved to keep a 
 medium, which made him remarkable ; he was still 
 more so, by his constancy for cut doublets, which 
 he supported a long time after they had been uni- 
 versally suppressed ; but, what was more surprising 
 than all, was a certain mixture of avarice and liber- 
 ality, constantly at war with each other, ever since 
 he had entered the list with love. 
 
 His nephew was only of a younger brother's 
 family, but was considered as his uncle's heir, and 
 though he was under the necessity of attending to 
 his uncle for an establishment, and still more so of 
 humouring him, is order to get his estate, he could 
 not avoid his fate. Mrs. Middleton showed him a 
 sufficient degree of preference, but her favours 
 could not secure him from the charms of Miss 
 Hamilton. His person would have had nothing 
 disagreeable in it if he had but left it to nature, 
 
 the above John Russell. He was standard-bearer to Charles II., 
 and died unmarried, 1674. He was elder brother to Russell, 
 Earl of Orford. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 169 
 
 but he was formal in all his actions, and silent even 
 to stupidity, and yet rather more tiresome when he 
 did speak. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, very much at his 
 ease in all these competitions, engaged himself 
 more and more in his passion, without forming 
 other designs, or conceiving other hopes, than to 
 render himself agreeable. Though his passion was 
 openly declared, no person at court regarded it 
 otherwise than as a habit of gallantry, which goes 
 no farther than to do justice to merit. 
 
 His monitor, Saint Evremond, was quite of a 
 different opinion, and finding that, besides an im- 
 mense increase of magnificence and assiduity, 
 he regretted those hours which he bestowed on 
 play, that he no longer sought after those long 
 and agreeable conversations they used to have 
 together, and that this new attachment everywhere 
 robbed him of himself : 
 
 " Monsieur le Chevalier," said he, " methinks 
 that for some time you have left the town beauties 
 and their lovers in perfect repose. Mrs. Middleton 
 makes fresh conquests with impunity, and wears 
 your presents under your nose, without your taking 
 the smallest notice. Poor Miss Warmestre has 
 been very quietly brought to bed in the midst of 
 the court, without your having even said a word 
 about it. I foresaw it plain enough, Monsieur le 
 Chevalier, you have got acquainted with Miss 
 Hamilton, *and, what has never before happened to 
 
170 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 you, you are really in love ; but let us consider a 
 little what may be the consequence. In the first 
 place, then, I believe, you have not the least inten- 
 tion of seducing her ; such is her birth and merit, 
 that if you were in possession of the estate and 
 title of your family, it might be excusable in you 
 to offer yourself upon honourable terms, however 
 ridiculous marriage may be in general ; for, if you 
 only wish for wit, prudence, and the treasures of 
 beauty, you could not pay your addresses to a more 
 proper person, but for you, who possess only a very 
 moderate share of those of fortune, you cannot pay 
 your addresses more improperly. 
 
 " For your brother Toulongeon, whose dispo- 
 sition I am acquainted with, will not have the 
 complaisance to die, to favour your pretensions; 
 but suppose you had a competent fortune for you 
 both, — and that is supposing a good deal, — are 
 you acquainted with the delicacy, not to say ca- 
 priciousness, of this fair one about such an en- 
 gagement ? Do you know that she has had the 
 choice of the best matches in England ? The 
 Duke of Richmond paid his addresses to her 
 first ; but though he was in love with her, still 
 he was mercenary. However, the king, observing 
 that want of fortune was the only impediment to 
 the match, took that article upon himself, out of 
 regard to the Duke of Ormond, to the merit and 
 birth of Miss Hamilton, and to her father's ser- 
 vices ; but, resenting that a man, who pretended 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 171 
 
 to be in love, should bargain like a merchant, and 
 likewise reflecting upon his character in the world, 
 she did not think that being Duchess of Richmond 
 was a sufficient recompense for the danger that 
 was to be feared from a brute and a debauchee. 
 
 " Has not little Jermyn, notwithstanding his 
 uncle's great estate, and his own brilliant reputa- 
 tion, failed in his suit to her ? And has she ever 
 so much as vouchsafed to look at Henry Howard, 1 
 who is upon the point of being the first duke in 
 England, and who is already in actual possession 
 of all the estates of the house of Norfolk ? I con- 
 fess that he is a clown, but what other lady in all 
 England would not have dispensed with his stu- 
 pidity and his disagreeable person to be the first 
 duchess in the kingdom, with twenty-five thousand 
 a year ? 
 
 " To conclude, Lord Falmouth has told me him- 
 self, that he has always looked upon her as the 
 only acquisition wanting to complete his happiness ; 
 but that even at the height of the splendour 
 of his fortune, he never had had the assurance 
 to open his sentiments to her; that he either 
 felt in himself too much weakness, or too much 
 
 'This was Henry Howard, brother to Thomas, Earl of 
 Arundel, who, by a special act of Parliament, in 1664, was 
 restored to the honours of the family, forfeited by the attainder 
 of his ancestor, in the time of Queen Elizabeth. On the death 
 of his brother, in 1667, he became Duke of Norfolk, and died 
 January n, 1683-84, at his house in Arundel Street, aged fifty- 
 five. 
 
172 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 pride, to be satisfied with obtaining her solely by 
 the persuasion of her relations ; and that, though 
 the first refusals of the fair on such occasions are 
 not much minded, he knew with what an air she 
 had received the addresses of those whose persons 
 she did not like. After this, Monsieur le Chev- 
 alier, consider what method you intend to pursue ; 
 for, if you are in love, the passion will still in- 
 crease, and the greater the attachment, the less 
 capable will you be of making those serious re- 
 flections that are now in your power." 
 
 "My poor philosopher," answered the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, "you understand Latin very well, 
 you can make good verses, you understand the 
 course, and are acquainted with the nature of the 
 stars in the firmament ; but, as for the luminaries 
 of the terrestrial globe, you are utterly unac- 
 quainted with them ; you have told me nothing 
 about Miss Hamilton but what the king told me 
 three days ago. That she has refused the savages 
 you have mentioned is all in her favour; if she 
 had admitted their addresses, I would have had 
 nothing to say to her, though I love her to distrac- 
 tion. Attend now to what I am going to say : I 
 am resolved to marry her, and I will have my 
 tutor Saint Evremond himself to be the first man 
 to commend me for it. As for an establishment, I 
 shall make my peace with the king, and will solicit 
 him to make her one of the ladies of the bed- 
 chamber to the queen; this he will grant me. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 173 
 
 Toulongeon will die, without my assistance," and 
 notwithstanding all his care ; and Miss Hamilton 
 will have Semeat, 2 with the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, as an indemnification for the Norfolks and 
 Richmonds. Now, have you anything to advance 
 against this project ? For I will bet you an hun- 
 dred louis that everything will happen as I have 
 foretold it." 
 
 At this time the king's attachment to Miss 
 Stewart was so public, that every person per- 
 ceived, that if she was but possessed of art, she 
 might become as absolute a mistress over his con- 
 duct as she was over his heart. This was a fine 
 opportunity for those who had experience and 
 ambition. The Duke of Buckingham formed the 
 design of governing her, in order to ingratiate 
 himself with the king ; God knows what a gov- 
 ernor he would have been, and what a head he 
 was possessed of, to guide another. However, he 
 was the properest man in the world to insinuate 
 himself with Miss Stewart ; she was childish in 
 her behaviour, and laughed at everything, and 
 her taste for frivolous amusements, though unaf- 
 fected, was only allowable in a girl about twelve 
 or thirteen years old. A child, however, she was, 
 
 1 Count de Toulongeon was elder brother to Count Gram- 
 mont, who, by his death, in 1679, became, according to St. 
 Evremond, on that event, one of the richest noblemen at court. 
 — See " St. Evremont's Works," vol. ii. p. 327. 
 
 2 A country-seat belonging to the family of the Grammonts. 
 
174 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 in every other respect, except playing with a doll ; 
 blind man's buff was her most favourite amuse- 
 ment ; she was building castles of cards, while the 
 deepest play was going on in her apartments, 
 where you saw her surrounded by eager courtiers, 
 who handed her the cards, or young architects, 
 who endeavoured to imitate her. 
 
 She had, however, a passion for music, and had 
 some taste for singing. The Duke of Bucking- 
 ham, who built the finest towers of cards imagi- 
 nable, had an agreeable voice ; she had no aversion 
 to scandal, and the duke was both the father and 
 the mother of scandal ; he made songs and invented 
 old women's stories, with which she was delighted ; 
 but his particular talent consisted in turning into 
 ridicule whatever was ridiculous in other people, 
 and in taking them off, even in their presence, 
 without their perceiving it ; in short, he knew how 
 to act all parts with so much grace and pleasantry, 
 that it was difficult to do without him, when he 
 had a mind to make himself agreeable, and he 
 made himself so necessary to Miss Stewart's 
 amusement, that she sent all over the town to 
 seek for him, when he did not attend the king 
 to her apartments. 
 
 He was extremely handsome, 1 and still thought 
 
 'George Villiers, the second Duke of Buckingham, was born 
 30th January, 1627. Lord Orford observes : " When this extraor- 
 dinary man, with the figure and genius of Alcibiades, could 
 equally charm the Presbyterian Fairfax and the dissolute Charles ; 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 175 
 
 himself much more so than he really was ; although 
 he had a great deal of discernment, yet his vanity 
 made him mistake some civilities as intended for 
 his person, which were only bestowed on his wit 
 and drollery. In short, being seduced by too good 
 
 when he alike ridiculed that witty king and his solemn chancel- 
 lor ; when he plotted the ruin of his country with a cabal of bad 
 ministers, or, equally unprincipled, supported its cause with bad 
 patriots, — one laments that such parts should have been devoid 
 of every virtue ; but when Alcibiades turns chemist, when he is 
 a real bubble and a visionary miser, when ambition is but a 
 frolic, when the worst designs are for the foolishest ends, — con- 
 tempt extinguishes all reflection on his character." 
 
 " The portrait of this duke has been drawn by four masterly 
 hands. Burnet has hewn it out with his rough chisel ; Count 
 Hamilton touched it with that slight delicacy that finishes while 
 it seems but to sketch ; Dryden caught the living likeness ; Pope 
 completed the historical resemblance." — Royal Authors, vol. ii. 
 p. 78. 
 
 Of these four portraits, the second is in the text ; the other 
 three will complete the character of this extraordinary nobleman. 
 
 Bishop Burnet says, he " was a man of noble presence. He 
 had a great liveliness of wit, and a peculiar faculty of turning all 
 things into ridicule, with bold figures, and natural descriptions. 
 He had no sort of literature, only he was drawn into chemistry ; 
 and for some years he thought he was very near finding the 
 philosopher's stone, which had the effect that attends on all such 
 men as he was, when they are drawn in, to lay out for it. He 
 had no principles of religion, virtue, or friendship, — pleasure, 
 frolic, or extravagant diversion was all that he laid to heart. He 
 was true to nothing ; for he was not true to himself. He had 
 no steadiness nor conduct ; he could keep no secret, nor execute 
 any design without spoiling it. He could never fix his thoughts, 
 nor govern his estate, though then the greatest in England. He 
 was bred about the king, and for many years he had a great as- 
 cendency over him ; but he spake of him to all persons with that 
 
176 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 an opinion of his own merit, he forgot his first 
 project and his Portuguese mistress, in order to 
 pursue a fancy in which he mistook himself ; for 
 he no sooner began to act a serious part with Miss 
 Stewart, than he met with so severe a repulse that 
 
 contempt, that at last he drew a lasting disgrace upon himself. 
 And he at length ruined both body and mind, fortune and reputa- 
 tion equally. The madness of vice appeared in his person in 
 very eminent instances, since at last he became contemptible 
 and poor, sickly, and sunk in his parts, as well as in all other 
 respects ; so that his conversation was as much avoided as ever 
 it had been courted." — History of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 137. 
 Dryden's character of him is in these lines : 
 
 " In the first rank of these did Zimri stand ; 
 A man so various, that he seem'd to be 
 Not one, but all mankind's epitome : 
 Stiff in opinions, always in the wrong ; 
 Was everything by starts, and nothing long. 
 But, in the course of one revolving moon, 
 Was chemist, fiddler, statesman, and buffoon ; 
 Then all for women, painting, rhyming, drinking, 
 Besides ten thousand freaks that died in thinking. 
 Blest madman, who could every hour employ 
 With something new to wish or to enjoy ! 
 Railing and praising were his usual themes, 
 And both, to show his judgment, in extremes , 
 So over violent, or over civil, 
 That every man with him was god or devil. 
 In squandering wealth was his peculiar art; 
 Nothing went unrewarded but desert. 
 Beggar'd by fools, whom still he found too late ; 
 He had his jest, and they had his estate : 
 He laugh'd himself from court, then sought relief 
 By forming parties, but could ne'er be chief ; 
 For, spite of him, the weight of business fell 
 On Absalom and wise Achitophel : 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 177 
 
 he abandoned, at once, all his designs upon her. 
 However, the familiarity she had procured him 
 with the king opened the way to those favours to 
 which he was afterward advanced. 
 
 Lord Arlington 1 took up the project which the 
 
 Thus wicked but in will, of means bereft, 
 He left not faction, but of that was left." 
 
 — Absalom and Achitophel. 
 
 Pope describes the last scene of this nobleman's life in these 
 lines : 
 
 " In the worst inn's worst room, with mat half hung, 
 The floors of plaster, and the walls of dung, 
 On once a flock-bed, but repaired with straw, 
 With tape-tied curtains, never meant to draw ; 
 The George and Garter dangling from that bed, 
 Where tawdry yellow strove with dirty red, 
 Great Villiers lies : — alas ! how chang'd from hira, 
 That life of pleasure, and that soul of whim 1 
 Gallant and gay, in Clieveden's proud alcove, 
 The bower of wanton Shrewsbury and love ; 
 Or, just as gay, at council, in a ring 
 Of mimic'd statesmen, and their merry king. 
 No wit, to flatter, left of all his store ! 
 No fool to laugh at, which he valued more. 
 There, victor of his health, of fortune, friends, 
 And fame, this lord of useless thousands ends." 
 
 — Moral Essays, Epist. iii. 1. 299. 
 
 He died 16th April, 1688, at the house of a tenant, at Kirby 
 Moor Side, near Helmsley, in Yorkshire, aged 61 years, and wat> 
 buried in Westminster Abbey. 
 
 1 Henry Bennet, Earl of Arlington, principal secretary of 
 state, and lord chamberlain to King Charles II. ; a nobleman 
 whose practices, during that reign, have not left his character 
 free from reproach. Mr. Macpherson says of him, that he " sup- 
 
r78 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Duke of Buckingham had abandoned, and en- 
 deavoured to gain possession of the mind of the 
 mistress, in order to govern the master. A man 
 of greater merit and higher birth than himself 
 might, however, have been satisfied with the for- 
 tune he had already acquired. His first negotia- 
 tions were during the treaty of the Pyrenees, and 
 though he was unsuccessful in his proceedings for 
 his employer, yet he did not altogether lose his 
 time, for he perfectly acquired, in his exterior, 
 the serious air and profound gravity of the Span- 
 iards, and imitated pretty well their tardiness in 
 business. He had a scar across his nose, which 
 
 plied the place of extensive talents by an artful management of 
 such as he possessed. Accommodating in his principles, and easy 
 in his address, he pleased when he was known to deceive ; and 
 his manner acquired to him a kind of influence where he com- 
 manded no respect. He was little calculated for bold measures, 
 on account of his natural timidity ; and that defect created an 
 opinion of his moderation that was ascribed to virtue. His facil- 
 ity to adopt new measures was forgotten in his readiness to 
 acknowledge the errors of the old. The deficiency of his in- 
 tegrity was forgiven in the decency of his dishonesty. Too weak 
 not to be superstitious, yet possessing too much sense to own his 
 adherence to the Church of Rome, he lived a Protestant in his 
 outward profession, but he died a Catholic. Timidity was the 
 chief characteristic of his mind; and that being known, he was 
 even commanded by cowards. He was the man of the least 
 genius of the party, but he had most experience in that slow 
 and constant current of business, which, perhaps, suits affairs of 
 state better than the violent exertions of men of great parts." — 
 Original Papers, vol. i. Lord Arlington died July 28, 1685. 
 See a character of him in Sheffield, Duke of Buckingham's 
 Works. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 179 
 
 was covered by a long patch, or rather by a small 
 plaster in form of a lozenge. 
 
 Scars in the face commonly give a man a cer- 
 tain fierce and martial air, which sets him off to 
 advantage ; but it was quite the contrary with him, 
 and this remarkable plaster so well suited his mys- 
 terious looks, that it seemed an addition to his 
 gravity and self-sufficiency. 
 
 Arlington, under the mask of this compound 
 countenance, where great earnestness passed for 
 business, and impenetrable stupidity for secrecy, 
 had given himself the character of a great poli- 
 tician ; and no one having leisure to examine him, 
 he was taken at his word, and had been made min- 
 ister and secretary of state, upon the credit of his 
 own importance. 
 
 His ambition soaring still above these high sta- 
 tions, after having provided himself with a great 
 number of fine maxims, and some historical anec- 
 dotes, he obtained an audience of Miss Stewart, in 
 order to display them ; at the same time offering 
 her his most humble services, and best advice, to 
 assist her in conducting herself in the situation 
 to which it had pleased God and her virtue to 
 raise her. But he was only in the preface of his 
 speech, when she recollected that he was at the 
 head of those whom the Duke of Buckingham 
 used to mimic ; and as his presence and his lan- 
 guage exactly revived the ridiculous ideas that had 
 been given her of him, she could not forbear 
 
180 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 bursting out into a fit of laughter in his face, so 
 much the more violent as she had for a long time 
 struggled to suppress it. 
 
 The minister was enraged ; his pride became his 
 post, and his punctilious behaviour merited all 
 the ridicule which could be attached to it. He 
 quitted her abruptly, with all the fine advice he 
 had prepared for her, and was almost tempted to 
 carry it to Lady Castlemaine, and to unite himself 
 with her interests, or immediately to quit the 
 court party, and declaim freely in Parliament 
 against the grievances of the state, and particu- 
 larly to propose an act to forbid the keeping of 
 mistresses ; but his prudence conquered his resent- 
 ments, and thinking only how to enjoy with pleas- 
 ure the blessings of fortune, he sent to Holland 
 for a wife, 1 in order to complete his felicity. 
 
 Hamilton was, of all the courtiers, the best 
 qualified to succeed in an enterprise in which the 
 Duke of Buckingham and Lord Arlington had 
 miscarried ; he was thinking upon it, but his 
 natural coquetry traversed his intentions, and 
 
 1 This lady was Isabella, daughter to Lewis de Nassau, Lord 
 Beverwaert, son to Maurice, Prince of Orange, and Count 
 Nassau. By her, Lord Arlington had an only daughter, named 
 Isabella, who married, August i, 1672, Henry, Earl of Euston, 
 son to King Charles II., by Barbara, Duchess of Cleveland, 
 created afterward Duke of Grafton ; and, after his death, to Sir 
 Thomas Hanmer, Bart. She assisted at the coronation of King 
 George I., as Countess of Arlington, in her own right, and died 
 February 7, 1722-23. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 181 
 
 made him neglect the most advantageous pros- 
 pects in the world, in order unnecessarily to attend 
 to the advances and allurements thrown out to 
 him by the Countess of Chesterfield. This was 
 one of the most agreeable women in the world. 
 She had a most exquisite shape, though she was 
 not very tall ; her complexion was extremely fair, 
 with all the expressive charms of a brunette ; she 
 had large blue eyes, very tempting and alluring ; 
 her manners were engaging, her wit lively and 
 amusing ; but her heart, ever open to tender senti- 
 ments, was neither scrupulous in point of con- 
 stancy, nor nice in point of sincerity. She was 
 daughter to the Duke of Ormond, 1 and Hamilton, 
 being her cousin german, they might be as much 
 as. they pleased in each other's company without 
 being particular ; but as soon as her eyes gave him 
 some encouragement, he entertained no other 
 thoughts than how to please her, without con- 
 sidering her fickleness, or the obstacles he had to 
 encounter. His intention, which we mentioned 
 before, of establishing himself in the confidence 
 of Miss Stewart, no longer occupied his thoughts. 
 She now was of opinion that she was capable of 
 being the mistress of her own conduct ; she had 
 done all that was necessary to inflame the king's 
 passions, without exposing her virtue by granting 
 
 1 And second wife of the Earl of Chesterfield. She survived 
 the adventures here related a very short time, dying in July, 
 
 1665, at the age of 25 years. 
 
i82 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the last favours ; but the eagerness of a passionate 
 lover, blessed with favourable opportunities, is 
 difficult to withstand, and still more difficult to 
 vanquish, and Miss Stewart's virtue was almost 
 exhausted, when the queen was attacked with a 
 violent fever, which soon reduced her to extreme 
 danger. 
 
 Then it was that Miss Stewart was greatly 
 pleased with herself for the resistance she had 
 made, though she had paid dearly for it. A thou- 
 sand flattering hopes of greatness and glory filled 
 her heart, and the additional respect that was 
 universally paid her contributed not a little to 
 increase them. The queen was given over by her 
 physicians ; • the few Portuguese women that had 
 not been sent back to their own country filled the 
 court with doleful cries ; and the good nature of 
 the king was much affected with the situation 
 in which he saw a princess, whom, though he did 
 not love her, yet he greatly esteemed. She loved 
 him tenderly, and thinking that it was the last 
 
 1 This happened in October, 1663. Lord Arlington, in a 
 letter to the Duke of Ormond, dated the 17th of that month, 
 says : " The condition of the queen is much worse, and the 
 physicians give us but little hopes of her recovery ; by the next 
 you will hear she is either in a fair way to it, or dead : to-morrow 
 is a very critical day with her. God's will be done. The king 
 coming to see her this morning, she told him she willingly left 
 all the world but him ; which hath very much afflicted his 
 Majesty, and all the court with him." — Brown's Miscellanea 
 Aulica, 1702, p. 306. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 183 
 
 time she should ever speak to him, she told him, 
 that the concern he showed for her death was 
 enough to make her quit life with regret, but that 
 not possessing charms sufficient to merit his 
 tenderness, she had at least the consolation in 
 dying to give place to a consort who might be 
 more worthy of it, and to whom Heaven, perhaps, 
 might grant a blessing that had been refused to 
 her. At these words, she bathed his hands with 
 some tears, which he thought would be her last ; 
 he mingled his own with hers, and, without sup- 
 posing she would take him at his word, he con- 
 jured her to live for his sake. She had never 
 yet disobeyed him ; and, however dangerous 
 sudden impulses may be, when one is between 
 life and death, this transport of joy, which might 
 have proved fatal to her, saved her life, and the 
 king's wonderful tenderness had an effect for 
 which every person did not thank Heaven in the 
 same manner. 
 
 Jermyn had now for some time been recovered 
 of his wounds ; however, Lady Castlemaine, find- 
 ing his health in as deplorable a condition as ever, 
 resolved to regain the king's heart, but in vain ; 
 for notwithstanding the softness of her tears and 
 the violence of her passions, Miss Stewart wholly 
 possessed it. During this period the court was 
 variously entertained. Sometimes there were 
 promenades, and at others the court beauties sal- 
 lied out on horseback, and to make attacks with 
 
184 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 their charms and graces, sometimes successfully, 
 sometimes otherwise, but always to the best of their 
 abilities ; at other seasons there were such shows on 
 the river as the city of London alone can afford. 
 
 The Thames washes the sides of a large though 
 not a magnificent palace of the kings of Great 
 Britain. 1 From the stairs of this palace the court 
 used to take water in the summer evenings, when 
 the heat and dust prevented their walking in the 
 park ; an infinite number of open boats, filled with 
 the court and city beauties, attended the barges, 
 in which were the royal family ; collations, music, 
 and fireworks completed the scene. The Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont always made one of the com- 
 pany, and it was very seldom that he did not add 
 something of his own invention, agreeably to sur- 
 prise by some unexpected stroke of magnificence 
 and gallantry. Sometimes he had complete con- 
 certs of vocal and instrumental music, which he 
 privately brought from Paris, and which struck up 
 on a sudden in the midst of these parties ; some- 
 times he gave banquets, which likewise came from 
 France, and which, even in the midst of London, 
 surpassed the king's collations. These entertain- 
 ments sometimes exceeded, as others fell short of 
 his expectations, but they always cost him an 
 immense deal of money. 
 
 1 This was Whitehall, which was burnt down, except the 
 banqueting-house, 4th January, 1698. — See Harleian Miscel- 
 lany, vol. vi. p. 367. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 185 
 
 Lord Falmouth was one of those who had the 
 greatest friendship and esteem for the Chevalier 
 de Grammont. This profusion gave him concern, 
 and as he often used to go and sup with him with- 
 out ceremony, one day finding only Saint Evre- 
 mond there, and a supper fit for half a dozen 
 guests, who had been invited in form, " You must 
 not," said he, addressing himself to the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, " be obliged to me for this visit. 
 I come from the king's coticher, where all the dis- 
 course was about you ; and I can assure you that 
 the manner in which the king spoke of you could 
 not afford you so much pleasure as I myself felt 
 upon the occasion. You know very well that he 
 has long since offered you his good offices with 
 the King of France ; and for my own part," con- 
 tinued he, smiling, "you know very well that I 
 would solicit him so to do if it was not through 
 fear of losing you as soon as your peace is made. 
 But, thanks to Miss Hamilton, you are in no great 
 haste. However, I am ordered by the king, my 
 master, to acquaint you that while you remain 
 here, until you are restored to the favour of your 
 sovereign, he presents you with a pension of fif- 
 teen hundred Jacobus's. It is indeed a trifle, con- 
 sidering the figure the Chevalier de Grammont 
 makes among us ; but it will assist him," said he, 
 embracing him, " to give us sometimes a supper." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont received as he 
 ought the offer of a favour he did not think proper 
 
1 86 COUNT DE GtfAMMONT 
 
 to accept. " I acknowledge," said he, "the king's 
 bounty in this proposal, but I am still more sen- 
 sible of Lord Falmouth's generosity in it, and I 
 request him to assure his Majesty of my perfect 
 gratitude. The king, my master, will not suffer 
 me to want, when he thinks fit to recall me ; and 
 while I continue here, I will let you see that I 
 have wherewithal to give my English friends now 
 and then a supper." 
 
 At these words, he called for his strong box and 
 showed him seven or eight thousand guineas in 
 solid gold. Lord Falmouth, willing to improve to 
 the chevalier's advantage the refusal of so advan- 
 tageous an offer, gave Monsieur de Comminge, 1 
 then ambassador at the English court, an account 
 of it ; nor did Monsieur de Comminge fail to rep- 
 resent properly the merit of such a refusal to the 
 French court. 
 
 Hyde Park, every one knows, is the promenade 
 of London. 2 Nothing was so much in fashion 
 
 1 This gentleman was ambassador in London, from the court 
 of France, during the years 1663, 1664, and 1665. Lord Claren- 
 don, speaking of him, describes him as something capricious in 
 his nature which made him hard to treat with, and not always 
 vacant at the hours himself assigned ; being hypochondriac, and 
 seldom sleeping without opium. — Continuation of Clarendon's 
 Life, p. 263. 
 
 2 The writer already quoted gives this description of the 
 entertainments of the place at this period : 
 
 " I did frequently, in the spring, accompany my lord N 
 
 into a field near the town, which they call Hyde Park. The 
 place is not unpleasant, and which they use as our course, but 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 187 
 
 during the fine weather as that promenade, which 
 was the rendezvous of magnificence and beauty. 
 Every one, therefore, who had either sparkling eyes 
 or a splendid equipage constantly repaired thither, 
 and the king seemed pleased with the place. 
 
 Coaches with glasses 1 were then a late invention. 
 The ladies were afraid of being shut up in them ; 
 
 with nothing of that order, equipage, and splendour ; being such 
 an assembly of wretched jades and hackney-coaches, as, next a 
 regiment of car-men, there is nothing approaches the resemblance. 
 This park was (it seems) used by the late king and nobility for 
 the freshness of the air and the goodly prospect ; but it is that 
 which now (besides all other excises) they pay for here in Eng- 
 land, though it be free in all the world besides, every coach and 
 horse which enters buying his mouthful, and permission of the 
 publican who has purchased it, for which the entrance is 
 guarded with porters and long staves." — A Character of Eng- 
 land as it was lately presented to a Nobleman of France, 1 2mo, 
 1659, p. 54. 
 
 1 Coaches were first introduced into England in the year 1564. 
 Taylor, the water poet (" Works," 1630, p. 240), says : " One 
 William Boonen, a Dutchman, brought first the use of coaches 
 hither ; and the said Boonen was Queen Elizabeth's coachman ; 
 for, indeed, a coach was a strange monster in those days, and the 
 sight of them put both horse and man into amazement." Doc- 
 tor Percy observes they were first drawn by two horses, and 
 that it was the favourite Buckingham, who, about 1619, began to 
 draw it with six horses. About the same time he introduced 
 the sedan. "The Ultimum Vale of John Carleton," 4:0, 1663, 
 p. 23, will, in a great measure, ascertain the time of the introduc- 
 tion of glass coaches. He says : " I could wish her (i.e., Mary 
 Carleton's) coach (which she said my lord Taff bought for her in 
 England, and sent it over to her, made of the new fashion, with 
 glasse, very stately ; and her pages and lacquies were of the same 
 livery) was come for me," etc. 
 
1 88 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 they greatly preferred the pleasure of showing 
 almost their whole persons to the conveniences of 
 modern coaches. That which was made for the 
 king not being remarkable for its elegance, the 
 Chevalier de Grammont was of opinion that some- 
 thing ingenious might be invented, which should 
 partake of the ancient fashion and likewise prove 
 preferable to the modern ; he therefore sent away 
 Termes privately with all the necessary instructions 
 to Paris. The Duke of Guise was likewise charged 
 with this commission ; and the courier, having by 
 the favour of Providence escaped the quicksand, in 
 a month's time brought safely over to England the 
 most elegant and magnificent calash that had ever 
 been seen, which the chevalier presented to the 
 king. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont had given orders 
 that fifteen hundred louis should be expended 
 upon it ; but the Duke of Guise, who was his 
 friend, to oblige him laid out two thousand. All 
 the court was in admiration at the magnificence of 
 the present ; and the king, charmed with the 
 chevalier's attention to everything which could 
 afford him pleasure, failed not to acknowledge it. 
 He would not, however, accept a present of so 
 much value but upon condition that the chevalier 
 should not refuse another from him. 
 
 The queen, imagining that so splendid a carriage 
 might prove fortunate for her, wished to appear in 
 it first, with the Duchess of York. Lady Castle- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 189 
 
 maine, who had seen them in it, thinking that it 
 set off a fine figure to greater advantage than any 
 other, desired the king to lend her this wonderful 
 calash to appear in it the first fine day in Hyde 
 Park ; Miss Stewart had the same wish, and re- 
 quested to have it on the same day. As it was 
 impossible to reconcile these two goddesses, whose 
 former union was turned into mortal hatred, the 
 king was very much perplexed. 
 
 Lady Castlemaine was with child, and threat- 
 ened to miscarry, if her rival was preferred ; Miss 
 Stewart threatened that she never would be with 
 child, if her request was not granted. This men- 
 ace prevailed, and Lady Castlemaine's rage was so 
 great that she had almost kept her word ; and it 
 was believed that this triumph cost her rival some 
 of her innocence. 
 
 The queen dowager, who, though she had no 
 share in these broils, had no objection to them, 
 and as usual being diverted with this circumstance, 
 she took occasion to joke with the Chevalier de 
 Grammont, for having thrown this bone of con- 
 tention among such competitors ; and did not fail 
 to give him, in the presence of the whole court, 
 those praises which so magnificent a present 
 deserved. " But how comes it," said she, " that 
 you have no equipage yourself, though you are at so 
 great an expense ? For I am told that you do not 
 keep even a single footman, and that one of the 
 common runners in the streets lights you home 
 
190 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 with a stinking link." "Madame," said he, "the 
 Chevalier de Grammont hates pomp ; my link- 
 boy, of whom you speak, is faithful to my service, 
 and besides, he is one of the bravest fellows in the 
 world. Your Majesty is unacquainted with the na- 
 tion of link-boys ; it is a charming one, I can assure 
 you. A man cannot step out in the night without 
 being surrounded by a dozen of them. The first 
 time I became acquainted with them, I retained 
 all that offered me their services, so that when I 
 arrived at Whitehall, I had at least two hundred 
 about my chair ; the sight was new, for those who 
 had seen me pass with this illumination, asked 
 whose funeral it was. These gentlemen, however, 
 began fighting about some dozen shillings I had 
 thrown among them then ; and he whom your 
 Majesty mentions, having beaten three or four of 
 his companions, I retained him for his valour. As 
 for the parade of coaches and footmen I despise it : 
 I have sometimes had five or six valets de chambre 
 at once, without having a single servant in livery, 
 except my chaplain Poussatin." " How ! " said the 
 queen, bursting out laughing, " a chaplain in your 
 livery ! He surely was not a priest ? " " Pardon me, 
 Madame," said he, " and the first priest in the world 
 for dancing the Biscayan jig." "Chevalier," said 
 the king, " pray tell us the history of your chaplain 
 Poussatin." 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 JlRE," said the Chevalier de Grammont, 
 "the Prince de Conde besieged Ler- 
 ida ; ' the place in itself was nothing, 
 but Don Gregorio Brice, who defended it, was 
 something. He was one of those Spaniards of 
 the old stamp, as valiant as the Cid, as proud as 
 all the Guzman s put together, and more gallant 
 than all the Abencerrages of Grenada. He suf- 
 fered us to make our first approaches to the place 
 without the least molestation. The Marshal de 
 Grammont, 2 whose maxim it was, that a governor 
 who at first makes a great blustering, and burns 
 his suburbs in order to make a noble defence, gen- 
 erally makes a very bad one, looked upon Gregorio 
 de Brice's politeness as no good omen for us ; but 
 
 1 This was in 1647. Voltaire says : " He, Conde, was accused, 
 upon this occasion, in certain books, of a bravado, in having 
 opened the trenches to the music of violins ; but these writers 
 were ignorant that this was the custom of Spain." — Age of 
 Louis XIV., ch 2. 
 
 2 Anthony, Marechal of France. He appears to have quitted 
 the army in 1672. " Le Due de la Feuillade est colonel du regi- 
 ment des gardes sur la demission volontaire du Marechal de 
 Grammont." — Henaulfs History of France. He died 1678. 
 
 191 
 
192 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the prince, covered with glory, and elated with thft 
 campaigns of Rocroy, Norlinguen, and Fribourg, 
 to insult both the place and the governor, ordered 
 the trenches to be mounted at noonday by his own 
 regiment, at the head of which marched four and 
 twenty fiddlers, as if it had been to a wedding. 
 
 " Night approaching, we were all in high spirits : 
 our violins were playing soft airs, and we were 
 comfortably regaling ourselves ; God knows how 
 we were joking about the poor governor and his 
 fortifications, both of which we promised ourselves 
 to take in less than twenty-four hours. This was 
 going on in the trenches, when we heard an omi- 
 nous cry from the ramparts, repeated two or three 
 times, of, * Alerte on the walls ! ' This cry was 
 followed by a discharge of cannon and musketry, 
 and this discharge by a vigorous sally, which, 
 after having filled up the trenches, pursued us as 
 far as our grand guard. 
 
 " The next day Gregorio Brice sent by a trumpet 
 a present of ice and fruit to the Prince de Cond6, 
 humbly beseeching his Highness to excuse his not 
 returning the serenade which he was pleased to 
 favour him with, as unfortunately he had no vio- 
 lins ; but that if the music of last night was not 
 disagreeable to him, he would endeavour to con- 
 tinue it as long as he did him the honour to remain 
 before the place. The Spaniard was as good as 
 his word ; and as soon as we heard, ' Alerte on 
 the walls,' we were sure of a sally that cleared our 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 193 
 
 trenches, destroyed our works, and killed the 
 best of our officers and soldiers. The prince 
 was so piqued at it, that, contrary to the opinion 
 of the general officers, he obstinately persisted 
 in carrying on a siege which was like to ruin his 
 army, and which he was at last forced to quit in a 
 hurry. 
 
 "As our troops were retiring, Don Gregorio, 
 far from giving himself those airs which governors 
 generally do on such occasions, made no other 
 sally than sending a respectful compliment to the 
 prince. Signor Brice set out not long after for 
 Madrid, to give an account of his conduct, and to 
 receive the recompense he had merited. Your 
 Majesty perhaps will be desirous to know what 
 reception poor Brice met with, after having per- 
 formed the most brilliant action the Spaniards 
 could boast of in all the war, — he was confined 
 by the inquisition." 
 
 " How ! " said the queen dowager, " confined 
 by the inquisition for his services ? " " Not alto- 
 gether for his services," said the chevalier; "but 
 without any regard to his services, he was treated 
 in the manner I have mentioned for a little affair 
 of gallantry, which I shall relate to the king 
 presently. 
 
 " The campaign of Catalonia being thus ended, 
 we were returning home, not overloaded with 
 laurels ; but as the Prince de Cond6 had laid up a 
 great store on former occasions, and as he had 
 
194 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 still great projects in his head, he soon forgot 
 this trifling misfortune. We did nothing but joke 
 with one another during the march, and the prince 
 was the first to ridicule the siege. We made 
 some of those rhymes on Lerida, which were sung 
 all over France, in order to prevent others more 
 severe ; however, we gained nothing by it, for 
 notwithstanding we treated ourselves freely in our 
 own ballads, others were composed in Paris in 
 which we were ten times more severely handled. 
 At last we arrived at Perpignan upon a holy day. 
 A company of Catalans, who were dancing in the 
 middle of the street, out of respect to the prince 
 came to dance under his windows. Monsieur 
 Poussatin, in a little black jacket, danced in the 
 middle of this company, as if he was really mad. 
 I immediately recognised him for my countryman, 
 from his manner of skipping and frisking about ; 
 the prince was charmed with his humour and 
 activity. After the dance, I sent for him, and 
 inquired who he was. ' A poor priest at your ser- 
 vice, my lord,' said he. ' My name is Poussatin, 
 and Beam is my native country. I was going into 
 Catalonia to serve in the infantry, for, God be 
 praised, I can march very well on foot ; but since 
 the war is happily concluded, if your lordship 
 pleases to take me into your service, I would fol- 
 low you everywhere, and serve you faithfully.' 
 ' Monsieur Poussatin,' said I, ' my lordship has no 
 great occasion for a chaplain ; but since you are 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 195 
 
 so well disposed toward me, I will take you into 
 my service.' 
 
 "The Prince de Cond6, who was present at 
 this conversation, was overjoyed at my having a 
 chaplain. As poor Poussatin was in a very tat- 
 tered condition, I had no time to provide him with 
 a proper habit at Perpignan, but, giving him a 
 spare livery of one of the Marshal de Grammont's 
 servants, I made him get up behind the prince's 
 coach, who was like to die with laughing every 
 time he looked at poor Poussatin's uncanonical 
 mien in a yellow livery. 
 
 " As soon as we arrived at Paris, the story was 
 told to the queen, who at first expressed some 
 surprise at it. This, however, did not prevent her 
 from wishing to see my chaplain dance ; for in 
 Spain it is not altogether so strange to see eccle- 
 siastics dance, as to see them in livery. 
 
 "Poussatin performed wonders before the 
 queen ; but as he danced with great sprightliness, 
 she could not bear the odour which his violent 
 motions diffused around her room. The ladies 
 likewise began to pray for relief ; for he had al- 
 most entirely got the better of all the perfumes 
 and essences with which they were fortified. 
 Poussatin, nevertheless, retired with a great deal 
 of applause, and some louis d'or. 
 
 " Sometime afterward I procured a small bene- 
 fice in the country for my chaplain, and I have 
 since been informed that Poussatin preached with 
 
196 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the same ease in his village as he danced at the 
 wedding of his parishioners." 
 
 The king was exceedingly diverted at Poussa- 
 tin's history, and the queen was not much hurt at 
 his having been put in livery. The treatment of 
 Gregorio Brice offended her far more ; and, being 
 desirous to justify the court of Spain, with respect 
 to so cruel a proceeding, "Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont," said she, " what heresy did Governor 
 Brice wish to introduce into the state ? What 
 crime against religion was he charged with, that 
 he was confined in the inquisition ? " " Madame," 
 said he, " the history is not very proper to be re- 
 lated before your Majesty. It was a little amor- 
 ous frolic, ill-timed indeed ; but poor Brice meant 
 no harm ; a schoolboy would not have been 
 whipped for such a fault in the most severe col- 
 lege in France, as it was only for giving some 
 proofs of his affection to a young Spanish fair one, 
 who had fixed her eyes upon him on a solemn 
 occasion." 
 
 The king desired to know the particulars of the 
 adventure, and the chevalier gratified his curiosity 
 as soon as the queen and the rest of the court 
 were out of hearing. It was very entertaining to 
 hear him tell a story, but it was very disagree- 
 able to differ with him, either in competition, or 
 in raillery. It is true that at that time there 
 were few persons at the English court who had 
 merited his indignation. Russell was sometimes 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 197 
 
 the subject of his ridicule, but he treated him far 
 more tenderly than he usually did a rival. 
 
 This Russell was one of the most furious 
 dancers in all England ; I mean for country dances. 
 He had a collection of two or three hundred in 
 print, all of which he danced at sight, and to 
 prove that he was not an old man, he sometimes 
 danced until he was almost exhausted. His mode 
 of dancing was like that of his clothes, for they 
 both had been out of fashion full twenty years. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was very sensible 
 that he was very much in love, but though he saw 
 very well that it only rendered him more ridicu- 
 lous, yet he felt some concern at the information 
 he received of his intention of demanding Miss 
 Hamilton in marriage ; but his concern did not 
 last long. 
 
 Russell, being upon the point of setting out on 
 a journey, thought it was proper to acquaint his 
 mistress with his intentions before his departure. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was a great obstacle 
 to the interview he was desirous of obtaining of 
 her ; but being one day sent for, to go and play 
 at Lady Castlemaine's, Russell seized the oppor- 
 tunity, and addressing himself to Miss Hamilton, 
 with less embarrassment than is usual on such 
 occasions, he made his declaration to her in the 
 following manner : " I am brother to the Earl of 
 Bedford ; I command the regiment of guards ; 
 I have three thousand pounds a year, and fifteen 
 
198 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 thousand in ready money, all which, madame, I 
 come to present to you, along with my person. 
 One present, I agree, is not worth much without 
 the other, and therefore I put them together. I 
 am advised to go to some of the watering-places 
 for something of an asthma, which, in all proba- 
 bility, cannot continue much longer, as I have had 
 it for these last twenty years. If you look upon 
 me as worthy of the happiness of belonging to 
 you, I shall propose it to your father, to whom 
 I did not think it right to apply before I was 
 acquainted with your sentiments. My nephew 
 William is at present entirely ignorant of my 
 intention ; but I believe he will not be sorry for 
 it, though he will thereby see himself deprived of 
 a pretty considerable estate, for he has great 
 affection for me, and besides, he has a pleasure in 
 paying his respects to you since he has perceived 
 my attachment. I am very much pleased that he 
 should make his court to me, by the attention he 
 pays to you ; for he did nothing but squander his 
 money upon that coquette Middleton, while at 
 present he is at no expense, though he frequents 
 the best company in England." 
 
 Miss Hamilton had much difficulty to suppress 
 her laughter during this harangue. However, she 
 told him that she thought herself much honoured 
 by his intentions toward her, and still more obliged 
 to him for consulting her before he made any 
 overtures to her relations. " It will be time 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 199 
 
 enough," said she, "to speak to them upon the 
 subject at your return from the waters, for I do 
 not think it is at all probable that they will dis- 
 pose of me before that time, and in case they 
 should be urgent in their solicitations, your 
 nephew William will take care to acquaint you; 
 therefore, you may set out whenever you think 
 proper; but take care not to injure your health 
 by returning too soon." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, having heard the 
 particulars of this conversation, endeavoured, as 
 well as he could, to be entertained with it ; though 
 there were certain circumstances in the declaration, 
 notwithstanding the absurdity of others, which did 
 not fail to give him some uneasiness. Upon the 
 whole, he was not sorry for Russell's departure ; 
 and, assuming an air of pleasantry, he went to relate 
 to the king how Heaven had favoured him by de- 
 livering him from so dangerous a rival. "He is 
 gone, then, chevalier," said the king. " Certainly, 
 Sir," said he ; "I had the honour to see him em- 
 bark in a coach, with his asthma, and country 
 equipage, his perruque a calotte, neatly tied with 
 a yellow riband, and his old-fashioned hat covered 
 with oil-skin, which becomes him uncommonly 
 well. Therefore, I have only to contend with Will- 
 iam Russell, whom he leaves as his resident with 
 Miss Hamilton, and as for him, I neither fear him 
 upon his own account, nor his uncle's ; he is too 
 much in love himself to pay attention to the inter- 
 
200 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ests of another, and as he has but one method of 
 promoting his own, which is by sacrificing the 
 portrait, or some love-letters of Mrs. Middleton, 
 I have it easily in my power to counteract him in 
 such kind of favours, though I confess I have 
 pretty well paid for them." 
 
 " Since your affairs proceed so prosperously with 
 the Russells," said the king, "I will acquaint you 
 that you are delivered from another rival, much 
 more dangerous, if he were not already married ; 
 my brother has lately fallen in love with Lady 
 Chesterfield." " How many blessings at once ! " 
 exclaimed the Chevalier de Grammont ; " I have 
 so many obligations to him for this inconstancy, 
 that I would willingly serve him in his new amour, 
 if Hamilton was not his rival, nor will your Maj- 
 esty take it ill, if I promote the interests of my 
 mistress's brother, rather than those of your Maj- 
 esty's brother." " Hamilton, however," said the 
 king, "does not stand so much in need of assist- 
 ance, in affairs of this nature, as the Duke of 
 York ; but I know Lord Chesterfield is of such 
 a disposition, that he will not suffer men to quarrel 
 about his wife, with the same patience as the com- 
 plaisant Shrewsbury, though he well deserves the 
 same fate." Here follows a true description of 
 Lord Chesterfield. 1 
 
 1 Philip, the second Earl of Chesterfield. He was constituted, 
 in 1662, lord chamberlain to the queen, and colonel of a regiment 
 of foot, June 13, 1667. On November 29, 1679, ne was appointed 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 201 
 
 He had a very agreeable face, a fine head of 
 hair, an indifferent shape, and a worse air ; he was 
 not, however, deficient in wit ; a long residence in 
 Italy had made him ceremonious in his commerce 
 with men, and jealous in his connection with 
 women. He had been much hated by the king, 
 because he had been much beloved by Lady Cas- 
 tlemaine. It was reported that he had been in her 
 good graces prior to her marriage, and as neither 
 of them denied it, it was the more generally 
 believed. 
 
 He had paid his devoirs to the eldest daughter 
 of the Duke of Ormond, while his heart was still 
 taken up with his former passion ; the king's love 
 for Lady Castlemaine, and the advancement he 
 expected from such an alliance, made him press 
 the match with as much ardour as if he had been 
 passionately in love. He had therefore married 
 Lady Chesterfield without loving her, and had 
 lived some time with her in such coolness as to 
 leave her no room to doubt of his indifference. 
 As she was endowed with great sensibility and 
 delicacy, she suffered at this contempt ; she was 
 at first much affected with his behaviour, and after- 
 lord warden and chief justice of the king's forests on this side 
 Trent, and sworn of the Privy Council, January 26, 1680. On 
 November 6, 1682, he was made colonel of the third regiment 
 of foot, which, with the rest of his preferments, he resigned on 
 the accession of James II. He lived to the age of upward of 
 eighty, and died January 28, 17 13, at his house in Bloomsbury 
 Square. 
 
202 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ward enraged at it, and, when he began to give 
 her proofs of his affection, she had the pleasure 
 of convincing him of her indifference. 
 
 They were upon this footing, when she resolved 
 to cure Hamilton, as she had lately done her hus- 
 band, of all his remaining tenderness for Lady 
 Castlemaine. For her it was no difficult under- 
 taking. The conversation of the one was disagree- 
 able, from the unpolished state of her manners, 
 her ill-timed pride, her uneven temper, and ex- 
 travagant humours. Lady Chesterfield, on the 
 contrary, knew how to heighten her charms with 
 all the bewitching attractions in the power of a 
 woman to invent who wishes to make a conquest. 
 
 Besides all this, she had greater opportunities of 
 making advances to him than to any other ; she 
 lived at the Duke of Ormond's, at Whitehall, where 
 Hamilton, as was said before, had free admittance 
 at all hours. Her extreme coldness, or rather the 
 disgust which she showed for her husband's re- 
 turning affection, wakened his natural inclination 
 to jealousy ; he suspected that she could not so 
 very suddenly pass from anxiety to indifference for 
 him, without some secret object of a new attach- 
 ment, and, according to the maxim of all jealous 
 husbands, he immediately put in practice all his 
 experience and industry, in order to make a dis- 
 covery which was to destroy his own happiness. 
 
 Hamilton, who knew his disposition, was, on 
 the other hand, upon his guard, and the more he 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 203 
 
 advanced in his intrigue, the more attentive was 
 he to remove every degree of suspicion from the 
 earl's mind ; he pretended to make him his confi- 
 dant, in the most unguarded and open manner, of 
 his passion for Lady Castlemaine : he complained 
 of her caprice, and most earnestly desired his 
 advice how to succeed with a person whose affec- 
 tions he alone had entirely possessed. 
 
 Chesterfield, who was nattered with this dis- 
 course, promised him his protection with greater 
 sincerity than it had been demanded. Hamilton, 
 therefore, was no further embarrassed than to 
 preserve Lady Chesterfield's reputation, who, in his 
 opinion, declared herself rather too openly in his 
 favour. But whilst he was diligently employed 
 in regulating, within the rules of discretion, the 
 partiality she expressed for him, and in conjuring 
 her to restrain her glances without bounds, she 
 was receiving those of the Duke of York, and, 
 what is more, made them favourable returns. 
 
 He thought that he had perceived it, as well as 
 every one besides ; but he thought, likewise, that 
 all the world was deceived as well as himself. 
 How could he trust his own eyes, as to what those 
 of Lady Chesterfield betrayed for this new rival ? 
 He could not think it probable, that a woman of 
 her disposition could relish a man whose manners 
 had a thousand times been the subject of their 
 private ridicule ; but what he judged still more 
 improbable was, that she should begin another 
 
204 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 intrigue before she had given the finishing stroke 
 to that in which her own advances had engaged 
 her. However, he began to observe her with more 
 circumspection, when he found by his discoveries, 
 that if she did not deceive him, at least the desire 
 of doing so was not wanting. This he took the 
 liberty of telling her of, but she answered him in 
 so high a strain, and treated what he said so much 
 like a phantom of his own imagination, that he 
 appeared confused without being convinced. All 
 the satisfaction he could procure from her, was 
 her telling him, in a haughty manner, that such 
 unjust reproaches as his ought to have had a better 
 foundation. 
 
 Lord Chesterfield had taken the same alarm, 
 and being convinced, from the observations he had 
 made, that he had found out the happy lover who 
 had gained possession of his lady's heart, he was 
 satisfied ; and without teasing her with unnecessary 
 reproaches, he only waited for an opportunity to 
 confound her, before he took his measures. 
 
 After all, how can we account for Lady Chester- 
 field's conduct, unless we attribute it to the dis- 
 ease incident to most coquettes, who, charmed 
 with superiority, put in practice every art to rob 
 another of her conquest, and spare nothing to 
 preserve it. 
 
 But before we enter into the particulars of this 
 adventure, let us take a retrospect of the amours 
 of his Royal Highness, prior to the declaration of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 205 
 
 his marriage, and particularly of what immediately 
 preceded this declaration. It is allowable some- 
 times to drop the thread of a narrative, when real 
 facts, not generally known, give such a variety 
 upon the digression as to render it excusable. Let 
 us see then how those things happened. 
 
 The Duke of York's marriage, 1 with the chan- 
 cellor's daughter, was deficient in none of those 
 circumstances which render contracts of this na- 
 ture valid in the eye of heaven ; the mutual inclina- 
 tion, the formal ceremony, witnesses, and every 
 essential point of matrimony, had been observed. 
 
 Though the bride was no perfect beauty, yet, 
 as there were none at the court of Holland who 
 eclipsed her, the duke, during the first endear- 
 ments of matrimony, was so far from repenting of 
 it, that he seemed only to wish for the king's 
 restoration that he might have an opportunity of 
 declaring it with splendour ; but when he saw him- 
 self enjoying a rank which placed him so near the 
 throne ; when the possession of Miss Hyde af- 
 forded him no new charms ; when England, so 
 abounding in beauties, displayed all that was 
 charming and lovely in the court of the king, his 
 brother ; and when he considered he was the only 
 
 1 The material facts in this narrative are confirmed by Lord 
 Clarendon. — Continuation of His Life, p. 33. It is difficult to 
 speak of the persons concerned in this infamous transaction 
 without some degree of asperity, notwithstanding they are, by a 
 strange perversion of language, styled all men of honour. 
 
206 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 prince, who, from such superior elevation, had 
 descended so low, he began to reflect upon it. On 
 the one hand his marriage appeared to him par- 
 ticularly ill suited in every respect ; he recollected 
 that Jermyn had not engaged him in an intimacy 
 with Miss Hyde, until he had convinced him, by 
 several different circumstances, of the facility of 
 succeeding ; he looked upon his marriage as an in- 
 fringement of that duty and obedience he owed to 
 the king ; the indignation with which the court, 
 and even the whole kingdom, would receive the 
 account of his marriage, presented itself to his 
 imagination, together with the impossibility of ob- 
 taining the king's consent to such an act, which 
 for a thousand reasons he would be obliged to 
 refuse. On the other hand, the tears and despair 
 of poor Miss Hyde presented themselves ; and still 
 more than that, he felt a remorse of conscience, 
 the scruples of which began from that time to rise 
 up against him. 
 
 In the midst of this perplexity, he opened his 
 heart to Lord Falmouth, and consulted with him 
 what method he ought to pursue. He could not 
 have applied to a better man for his own interests, 
 nor to a worse for Miss Hyde's, for at first, Fal- 
 mouth maintained not only that he was not mar- 
 ried, but that it was even impossible that he could 
 ever have formed such a thought ; that any mar- 
 riage was invalid for him, which was made without 
 the king's consent, even if the party was a suitable 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 207 
 
 match, but that it was a mere jest even to think 
 of the daughter of an insignificant lawyer, whom 
 the favour of his sovereign had lately made a peer 
 of the realm, without any noble blood, and chan- 
 cellor, without any capacity ; that as for his 
 scruples, he had only to give ear to some gentle- 
 men whom he could introduce, who would thor- 
 oughly inform him of Miss Hyde's conduct before 
 he became acquainted with her, and provided he 
 did not tell them that he really was married, he 
 would soon have sufficient grounds to come to a 
 determination. 
 
 The Duke of York consented, and Lord Fal- 
 mouth, having assembled both his council and his 
 witnesses, conducted them to his Royal Highness's 
 cabinet, after having instructed them how to act ; 
 these gentlemen were the Earl of Arran, Jermyn, 
 Talbot, and Killegrew, all men of honour, but 
 who infinitely preferred the Duke of York's in- 
 terest to Miss Hyde's reputation, and who, besides, 
 were greatly dissatisfied, as well as the whole court, 
 at the insolent authority of the prime minister. 
 
 The duke having told them, after a sort of pre- 
 amble, that although they could not be ignorant 
 of his affection for Miss Hyde, yet they might be 
 unacquainted with the engagements his tenderness 
 for her had induced him to contract ; that he 
 thought himself obliged to perform all the prom- 
 ises he had made her ; but as the innocence of 
 persons of her age was generally exposed to court 
 
208 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 scandal, and as certain reports, whether false or 
 true, had been spread abroad on the subject of her 
 conduct, he conjured them as his friends, and 
 charged them upon their duty, to tell him sincerely 
 everything they knew upon the subject, since he 
 was resolved to make their evidence the rule of 
 his conduct toward her. They all appeared rather 
 reserved at first, and seemed not to dare to give 
 their opinions upon an affair of so serious and deli- 
 cate a nature ; but the Duke of York having 
 renewed his entreaties, each began to relate the 
 particulars of what he knew, and perhaps of more 
 than he knew of poor Miss Hyde, nor did they 
 omit any circumstance necessary to strengthen the 
 evidence. For instance, the Earl of Arran, who 
 spoke first, deposed, that in the gallery at Hons- 
 laerdyk, where the Countess of Ossory, his sister- 
 in-law, and Jermyn, were playing at ninepins, Miss 
 Hyde, pretending to be sick, retired to a chamber 
 at the end of the gallery ; that he, the deponent, 
 had followed her, and having cut her lace, to give 
 a greater probability to the pretence of the vapours, 
 he had acquitted himself to the best of his abili- 
 ties, both to assist and to console her. 
 
 Talbot said, that she had made an appointment 
 with him in the chancellor's cabinet, while he was 
 in council ; and that, not paying so much atten- 
 tion to what was upon the table as to what they 
 were engaged in, they had spilled a bottle full of 
 ink upon a despatch of four pages, and that the 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 209 
 
 king's monkey, which was blamed for this accident, 
 had been a long time in disgrace. 
 
 Jermyn mentioned many places where he had 
 received long and favourable audiences. However, 
 all these articles of accusation amounted only to 
 some delicate familiarities, or, at most, to what is 
 generally denominated the innocent part of an in- 
 trigue ; but Killegrew, who wished to surpass 
 these trivial depositions, boldly declared that he 
 had had the honour of being upon the most in- 
 timate terms with her. He was of a sprightly and 
 witty humour, and had the art of telling a story in 
 the most entertaining manner, by the graceful and 
 natural turn he could give it. He affirmed that he 
 had found the critical minute in a certain closet 
 built over the water, for a purpose very different 
 from that of giving ease to the pains of love ; that 
 three or four swans had been witnesses to his hap- 
 piness, and might perhaps have been witnesses to 
 the happiness of many others, as the lady fre- 
 quently repaired to that place, and was particu- 
 larly delighted with it. 
 
 The Duke of York found this last accusation 
 greatly out of bounds, being convinced he himself 
 had sufficient proofs of the contrary ; he therefore 
 returned thanks to these officious informers for 
 their frankness, ordered them to be silent for the 
 future upon what they had been telling him, and 
 immediately passed into the king's apartment. 
 
 As soon as he had entered the cabinet, Lord 
 
2io COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Falmouth, who had followed him, related what 
 had passed to the Earl of Ossory, whom he met in 
 the presence-chamber. They strongly suspected 
 what was the subject of the conversation of the 
 two brothers, as it was long ; and the Duke of 
 York appeared to be in such agitation when he 
 came out, that they no longer doubted that the 
 result had been unfavourable for poor Miss Hyde. 
 Lord Falmouth began to be affected for her dis- 
 grace, and to relent that he had been concerned 
 in it, when the Duke of York told him and the 
 Earl of Ossory to meet him in about an hour's 
 time at the chancellor's. 
 
 They were rather surprised that he should 
 have the cruelty himself to announce such a 
 melancholy piece of news. They found his Royal 
 Highness at the appointed hour in Miss Hyde's 
 chamber; a few tears trickled down her cheeks, 
 which she endeavoured to restrain. The chan- 
 cellor, leaning against the wall, appeared to them 
 to be puffed up with something, which they did 
 not doubt was rage and despair. The Duke of 
 York said to them, with that serene and pleasant 
 countenance with which men generally announce 
 good news : " As you are the two men of the 
 court whom I most esteem, I am desirous you 
 should first have the honour of paying your com- 
 pliments to the Duchess of York : there she is." 
 
 Surprise was of no use, and astonishment was 
 unseasonable on the present occasion ; they were, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 2n 
 
 however, so greatly possessed with both surprise 
 and astonishment, that in order to conceal it, 
 they immediately fell on their knees to kiss her 
 hand, which she gave to them with as much 
 majesty as if she had been used to it all her 
 life. 
 
 The next day the news was made public, and 
 the whole court was eager to pay her that respect, 
 from a sense of duty, which in the end became 
 very sincere. 
 
 Thepetits maitres who had spoken against her, 
 seeing their intentions disappointed, were not a 
 little embarrassed. Women are seldom accus- 
 tomed to forgive injuries of this nature, and, if 
 they promise themselves the pleasure of revenge, 
 when they gain the power, they seldom forget 
 it ; in the present case, however, the fears of 
 these petits maitres were their only punishment. 
 
 The Duchess of York, being fully informed 
 of all that was said in the cabinet concerning 
 her, instead of showing the least resentment, 
 studied to distinguish, by all manner of kindness 
 and good offices, those who had attacked her in 
 so sensible a part ; nor did she ever mention it 
 to them but in order to praise their zeal, and 
 to tell them "that nothing was a greater proof 
 of the attachment of a man of honour, than his 
 being more solicitous for the interest of his friend 
 or master, than for his own reputation," a re- 
 markable example of prudence and moderation, 
 
212 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 not only for the fair sex, but even for those 
 who value themselves most upon their philosophy 
 among the men. 
 
 The Duke of York, having quieted his con- 
 science by the declaration of his marriage, thought 
 that he was entitled, by this generous effort, to 
 give way a little to his inconstancy ; he there- 
 fore immediately seized upon whatever he could 
 first lay his hands upon. This was Lady Carnegy, 1 
 who had been in several other hands. She was 
 still tolerably handsome, and her disposition, 
 naturally inclined to tenderness, did not oblige 
 her new lover long to languish. Everything 
 coincided with their wishes for some time. Lord 
 Carnegy, her husband, was in Scotland ; but his 
 father dying suddenly, he as suddenly returned 
 with the title of Southesk, which his wife de- 
 tested, but which she took more patiently than 
 she received the news of his return. Some pri- 
 vate intimation had been given him of the honour 
 that was done him in his absence ; nevertheless, 
 he did not show his jealousy at first, but, as he 
 was desirous to be satisfied of the reality of the 
 fact, he kept a strict watch over his wife's actions. 
 The Duke of York and her ladyship had for some 
 time been upon such terms of intimacy as not 
 to pass their time in frivolous amusements ; how- 
 ever, the husband's return obliged them to main*- 
 
 1 Anne, daughter of William, Duke of Hamilton, and wife of 
 Robert Carnegy, Earl of Southesk. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 213 
 
 tain some decorum. He therefore never went to 
 her house, but in form, that is to say, always 
 accompanied by some friend or other, to give his 
 amours at least the appearance of a visit. 
 
 About this time Talbot J returned from Por- 
 tugal ; this connection had taken place during 
 his absence, and without knowing who Lady 
 Southesk was, he had been informed that his 
 master was in love with her. 
 
 A few days after his arrival, he was carried, 
 merely to keep up appearances, to her house, by 
 the duke ; and after being introduced, and some 
 compliments having been paid on both sides, he 
 thought it his duty to give his Royal Highness 
 an opportunity to pay his compliments, and ac- 
 cordingly retired into the antechamber, which 
 looked into the street, and placed himself at the 
 window to view the people as they passed. 
 
 He was one of the best meaning men in the 
 world on such occasions, but was so subject 
 to forgetfulness, and absence of mind, that he 
 once forgot, and left behind him at London, a 
 complimentary letter which the duke had given 
 him for the Infanta of Portugal, and never recol- 
 lected it till he was going to his audience. 
 
 He stood sentry, as we have before said, very 
 attentive to his instructions, when he saw a coach 
 stop at the door, without being in the least con- 
 cerned at it, and still less at a man whom he 
 
 1 Afterward Duke of Tyrconnel. 
 
214 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 saw get out of it, and whom he immediately 
 heard coming up-stairs. 
 
 The devil, who ought to be civil upon such 
 occasions, forgot himself in the present instance, 
 and brought up Lord Southesk in propria per- 
 sona. His Royal Highness's equipage had been 
 sent home, because my lady had assured him that 
 her husband was gone to see a bear and a bull 
 baiting, an entertainment in which he took great 
 delight, and from whence he seldom returned until 
 it was very late, so that Southesk, not seeing any 
 equipage at the door, little imagined that he had 
 such good company in his house ; but if he was 
 surprised to see Talbot carelessly lolling in his 
 wife's antechamber, his surprise was soon over. 
 Talbot, who had not seen him since they were 
 in Flanders, and never supposing that he had 
 changed his name, " Welcome, Carnegy, welcome, 
 my good fellow," said he, giving him his hand ; 
 "where the devil have you been, that I have 
 never been able to set eyes on you since we were 
 at Brussels ? What business brought you here ? 
 Do you likewise wish to see Lady Southesk? 
 If this is your intention, my poor friend, you may 
 go away again ; for I must inform you, the Duke 
 of York is in love with her, and I will tell you in 
 confidence, that, at this very time, he is in her 
 chamber." 
 
 Southesk, confounded, as one may suppose, had 
 no time to answer all these fine questions. Talbot, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 215 
 
 therefore, attended him down-stairs as his friend ; 
 and, as his humble servant, advised him to seek 
 for a mistress elsewhere. Southesk, not knowing 
 what else to do at that time, returned to his 
 coach, and Talbot, overjoyed at the adventure, 
 impatiently waited for the duke's return, that he 
 might acquaint him with it ; but he was very 
 much surprised to find that the story afforded 
 no pleasure to those who had the principal share 
 in it, and his greatest concern was, that Carnegy 
 had changed his name, as if only to draw him into 
 such a confidence. 
 
 This accident broke off a commerce which the 
 Duke of York did not much regret ; and indeed 
 it was happy for him that he became indifferent ; 
 for the traitor Southesk meditated a revenge, 1 
 whereby, without using either assassination or 
 poison, he would have obtained some satisfaction 
 
 1 Bishop Burnet, taking notice of the Duke of York's amours, 
 says : " A story was set about, and generally believed, that the 
 Earl of Southesk, that had married a daughter of the Duke 
 of Hamilton, suspecting some familiarities between the duke 
 and his wife, had taken a sure method to procure a disease 
 to himself, which he communicated to his wife, and was, by 
 that means, sent around till it came to the duchess. Lord 
 Southesk was, for some years, not ill pleased to have this 
 believed. It looked like a peculiar strain of revenge, with 
 which he seemed much delighted. But I know he has, to 
 some of his friends, denied the whole of the story very sol- 
 emnly." — History of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 319. It is 
 worthy of notice that the passage in the text was omitted 
 in most editions of Grammont, and retained in that of Straw- 
 berry Hill,, in 1772. 
 
216 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 upon those who had injured him, if the connection 
 had continued any longer. 
 
 He went to the most infamous places, to seek 
 for the most infamous disease, which he met with ; 
 but his revenge was only half completed, for after 
 he had gone through every remedy to get quit of 
 his disease, his lady did but return him his present, 
 having no more connection with the person for 
 whom it was so industriously prepared. 
 
 Lady Robarts ' was then in the zenith of her 
 glory ; her beauty was striking ; yet, notwithstand- 
 ing the brightness of the finest complexion, with 
 all the bloom of youth, and with every requisite 
 for inspiring desire, she nevertheless was not at- 
 tractive. The Duke of York, however, would prob- 
 ably have been successful if difficulties almost 
 insurmountable had not disappointed his good 
 
 1 Lord Orford says this lady was Sarah, daughter of John 
 Bodville, of Bodville Castle, in Caernarvonshire, wife of Robert 
 Robarts, who died in the lifetime of his father, and was eldest 
 son of John, Earl of Radnor. This, however, may be doubted. 
 There was no Earl of Radnor until the year 1679, which was 
 after the date of most, if not all, the transactions related in this 
 work ; consequently, no other person, who could be called Lord 
 Robarts, than John, the second lord, who was created Earl of 
 Radnor, with whose character several of the qualities here enu- 
 merated, particularly his age, moroseness, etc., will be found to 
 agree. Supposing this to be admitted, the lady will be Isabella, 
 daughter of Sir John Smith Knight, second wife of the above 
 John, Lord Robarts, whose character is thus portrayed by Lord 
 Clarendon : " Though of good understanding, he was of so mo- 
 rose a nature, that it was no easy matter to treat with him. He 
 had some pedantic parts of learning, which made his other parts 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 217 
 
 intentions. Lord Robarts, her husband, was an 
 old, snarling, troublesome, peevish fellow, in love 
 with her to distraction, and, to complete her misery 
 a perpetual attendant on her person. 
 
 She perceived his Royal Highness's attachment 
 to her, and seemed as if she was inclined to be 
 grateful. This redoubled his eagerness, and every 
 outward mark of tenderness he could possibly 
 show her ; but the watchful husband redoubling 
 his zeal and assiduity, as he found the approaches 
 advance, every art was practised to render him 
 tractable. Several attacks were made upon his 
 avarice and his ambition. Those who possessed 
 the greatest share of his confidence insinuated to 
 him that it was his own fault if Lady Robarts, 
 who was so worthy of being at court, was not re- 
 ceived into some considerable post, either about 
 
 of judgment the worst. He was naturally proud and imperious, 
 which humour was increased by an ill education ; for, excepting 
 some years spent in the Inns of Court, he might very justly be 
 said to have been born and bred in Cornwall. When lord dep- 
 uty in Ireland, he received the information of the chief persons 
 there so negligently, and gave his answers so scornfully, that they 
 besought the king that they might not be obliged to attend him 
 any more. But he was not a man that was to be disgraced and 
 thrown off without much inconvenience and hazard. He had 
 parts, which in council and Parliament, were very troublesome ; 
 for, of all men alive, who had so few friends, he had the most 
 followers. They who conversed most with him knew him to have 
 many humours which were very intolerable ; they who were but 
 little acquainted with him took him to be a man of much knowl- 
 edge, and called his morosity gravity." — Continuation of Clar- 
 endon, p. 102. 
 
218 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the queen or the duchess ; he was offered to be 
 made lord lieutenant of the county where his es- 
 tate was, or to have the management of the Duke 
 of York's revenues in Ireland, of which he should 
 have the entire disposal, provided he immediately 
 set out to take possession of his charge ; and hav- 
 ing accomplished it, he might return as soon as 
 ever he thought proper. 
 
 He perfectly well understood the meaning of 
 these proposals, and was fully apprised of the ad- 
 vantages he might reap from them. In vain did 
 ambition and avarice hold out their allurements ; 
 he was deaf to all their temptations, nor could 
 ever the old fellow be persuaded to be made a 
 cuckold. It is not always an aversion to, or a 
 dread of this distinction, which preserves us from 
 it ; of this her husband was very sensible, there- 
 fore, under the pretence of a pilgrimage to Saint 
 Winifred, the virgin and martyr, who was said to 
 cure women of barrenness, he did not rest, until 
 the highest mountains in Wales were between his 
 wife and the person who had designed to perform 
 this miracle in London, after his departure. 
 
 The duke wa's for some time entirely taken up 
 with the pleasures of the chase, and only now and 
 then engaged in those of love ; but his taste hav- 
 ing undergone a change in this particular, and the 
 remembrance of Lady Robarts wearing off by 
 degrees, his eyes and wishes were turned toward 
 Miss Brook ; and it was in the height of this pur- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 219 
 
 suit that Lady Chesterfield threw herself into his 
 arms, as we [shall see by resuming the sequel of 
 her adventures. 
 
 The Earl of Bristol, 1 ever restless and ambitious, 
 had put in practice every art to possess himself of 
 the king's favour. As this is the same Digby 
 whom Count Bussy mentions in his annals, it will 
 be sufficient to say that he was not at all changed. 
 He knew that love and pleasure had possession of 
 a master, whom he himself governed, in defiance 
 of the chancellor; thus he was continually giv- 
 ing entertainments at his house ; and luxury and 
 elegance seemed to rival each other in those 
 nocturnal feasts, which always led to other en- 
 joyments. The two Miss Brooks, his relations, 
 
 * George Digby. The account here given of the practices of 
 this nobleman receives confirmation from Lord Clarendon, who 
 observes of him, " that he had left no way unattempted to ren- 
 der himself gracious to the king, by saying and doing all that 
 might be acceptable unto him, and contriving such meetings and 
 jollities as he was pleased with." — Continuation of his Life, p. 
 208. Lord Orford says of him, that " his life was one contra- 
 diction. He wrote against popery and embraced it; he was a 
 zealous opposer of the court, and a sacrifice to it; was con- 
 scientiously converted in the midst of his prosecution of Lord 
 Strafford, and was most unconscientiously a prosecutor of Lord 
 Clarendon. With great parts, he always hurt himself and his 
 friends ; with romantic bravery, he was always an unsuccessful 
 commander. He spoke for the Test Act, though a Roman 
 Catholic, and addicted himself to astrology on the birthday of 
 true philosophy." — Catalogue of Royal and Noble Authors, vol. 
 ii. p. 25. The histories of England abound with the adventures 
 of this inconsistent nobleman, who died, neither loved nor re- 
 gretted by any party, in the year 1676. 
 
220 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 were always of those parties ; they were both 
 formed by nature to excite love in others, as 
 well as to be susceptible of it themselves. They 
 were just what the king wanted : the earl, from 
 this commencement, was beginning to entertain a 
 good opinion of his project, when Lady Castle- 
 main e, who had lately gained entire possession of 
 the king's heart, was not in a humour, at that 
 time, to share it with another, as she did very 
 indiscreetly afterward, despising Miss Stewart. 
 As soon, therefore, as she received intimation of 
 these secret practices, under pretence of attending 
 the king in his parties, she entirely disconcerted 
 them; so that the earl was obliged to lay aside 
 his projects, and Miss Brook to discontinue her 
 advances. The king did not even dare to think 
 any more on this subject ; but his brother was 
 pleased to look after what he neglected ; and 
 Miss Brook accepted the offer of his heart, until 
 it pleased Heaven to dispose of her otherwise, 
 which happened soon after in the following 
 manner. 
 
 Sir John Denham, 1 loaded with wealth as well 
 as years, had passed his youth in the midst of 
 
 1 That Sir John Denham " had passed his youth in the midst 
 of those pleasures which people at that age indulge in without 
 restraint," all his biographers seem to admit ; but if our author 
 is to be relied on, Wood's account of the date of his birth, 1615, 
 must be erroneous. He was not loaded with years when he died, 
 if that statement is true ; and so far from being seventy-nine 
 when he married Miss Brook, he had not attained the age of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 221 
 
 those pleasures which people at that age indulge 
 in without restraint ; he was one of the brightest 
 geniuses England ever produced, for wit and 
 humour, and for brilliancy of composition. Satir- 
 ical and free in his poems, he spared neither 
 frigid writers, nor jealous, husbands, nor even 
 their wives ; every part abounded with the most 
 poignant wit, and the most entertaining stories ; 
 but his most delicate and spirited raillery turned 
 generally against matrimony ; and, as if he wished 
 to confirm, by his own example, the truth of what 
 he had written in his youth, he married, at the age 
 of seventy-nine, this Miss Brook of whom we are 
 speaking, who was only eighteen. 
 
 The Duke of York had rather neglected her 
 for some time before ; but the circumstance of 
 so unequal a match rekindled his ardour, and she, 
 on her part, suffered him to entertain hopes of an 
 approaching bliss, which a thousand considerations 
 had opposed before her marriage. She wished to 
 belong to the court ; and for the promise of being 
 made lady of the bedchamber to the duchess, she 
 was upon the point of making him another 
 promise, or of immediately performing it, if re- 
 quired, when, in the middle of this treaty, Lady 
 Chesterfield was tempted by her evil genius to 
 
 more than fifty-three when he died. In this particular I am in- 
 clined to doubt the accuracy of Wood, who omits to mention that 
 Sir John had a former wife, by whom he had a daughter. Sir John 
 died 19th March, 1668, and was buried in Westminster Abbey. 
 
222 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 rob her of her conquest, in order to disturb all the 
 world. 
 
 However, as Lady Chesterfield could not see 
 the Duke of York except in public assemblies, 
 she was under the necessity of making the most 
 extravagant advances, in order to seduce him from 
 his former connection ; and as he was the most 
 unguarded ogler of his time, the whole court was 
 informed of the intrigue before it was well begun. 
 
 Those who appeared the most attentive to 
 their conduct were not the least interested in it. 
 Hamilton and Lord Chesterfield watched them 
 narrowly ; but Lady Denham, vexed that Lady 
 Chesterfield should have stepped in before her, 
 took the liberty of railing against her rival with 
 the greatest bitterness. Hamilton had hitherto 
 flattered himself that vanity alone had ^engaged 
 Lady Chesterfield in this adventure ; but he was 
 soon undeceived, whatever her indifference might 
 have been when she first commenced this intrigue. 
 We often proceed farther than we at first in- 
 tended, when we indulge ourselves in trifling 
 liberties which we think of no consequence ; for 
 though perhaps the heart takes no part at the 
 beginning, it seldom fails to be engaged in the 
 end. 
 
 The court, as we have mentioned before, was 
 an entire scene of gallantry and amusements, with 
 all the politeness and magnificence which the in- 
 clinations of a prince naturally addicted to tender- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 223 
 
 ness and pleasure could suggest ; the beauties were 
 desirous of charming, and the men endeavoured to 
 please. All studied to set themselves off to the 
 best advantage ; some distinguished themselves 
 by dancing, others by show and magnificence ; 
 some by their wit, many by their amours, but few 
 by their constancy. There was a certain Italian 
 at court, famous for the guitar; he had a genius 
 for music, and he was the only man who could 
 make anything of the guitar : his style of play 
 was so full of grace and tenderness that he would 
 have given harmony to the most discordant instru- 
 ments. The truth is, nothing was so difficult as 
 to play like this foreigner. The king's relish for 
 his compositions had brought the instrument so 
 much into vogue that every person played upon 
 it, well or ill, and you were as sure to see a guitar 
 on a lady's toilet as rouge or patches. The Duke 
 of York played upon it tolerably well, and the 
 Earl of Arran like Francisco himself. This Fran- 
 cisco had composed a saraband, which either 
 charmed or infatuated every person ; for the 
 whole guitarery at court were trying at it, and 
 God knows what an universal strumming there 
 was. The Duke of York, pretending not to be 
 perfect in it, desired Lord Arran to play it to 
 him. Lady Chesterfield had the best guitar in 
 England. The Earl of Arran, who was desirous 
 of playing his best, conducted his Royal Highness 
 to his sister's apartments ; she was lodged at 
 
224 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 court, at her father's, the Duke of Ormond's, 
 and this wonderful guitar was lodged there too. 
 Whether this visit had been preconcerted or not, 
 I do not pretend to say, but it is certain that 
 they found both the lady and the guitar at home ; 
 they likewise found there Lord Chesterfield, so 
 much surprised at this unexpected visit, that it 
 was a considerable time before he thought of 
 rising from his seat to receive them with due 
 respect. 
 
 Jealousy, like a malignant vapour, now seized 
 upon his brain ; a thousand suspicions, blacker 
 than ink, took possession of his imagination, 
 and were continually increasing, for, whilst the 
 brother played upon the guitar to the duke, the 
 sister ogled and accompanied him with her eyes, 
 as if the coast had been clear, and no enemy to 
 observe them. This saraband was at least re- 
 peated twenty times. The duke declared it was 
 played to perfection ; Lady Chesterfield found 
 fault with the composition ; but her husband, 
 who clearly perceived that he was the person 
 played upon, thought it a most detestable piece. 
 However, though he was in the last agony at 
 being obliged to curb his passion while others 
 gave a free scope to theirs, he was resolved to 
 find out the drift 'of the visit ; but it was not in 
 his power, for, having the honour to be chamber- 
 lain to the queen, a messenger came to require 
 his immediate attendance on Her Majesty. His 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 225 
 
 first thought was to pretend sickness : the second 
 to suspect that the queen, who sent for him at 
 such an unseasonable time, was in the plot ; but 
 at last, after all the extravagant ideas of a sus- 
 picious man, and all the irresolutions of a jealous 
 husband, he was obliged to go. 
 
 We may easily imagine what his state of mind 
 was when he arrived at the palace. Alarms are 
 to the jealous what disasters are to the unfortu- 
 nate ; they seldom come alone, but form a series 
 of persecution. He was informed that he was 
 sent for to attend the queen at an audience she 
 gave to seven or eight Muscovite ambassadors. 
 He had scarce begun to curse the Muscovites 
 when his brother-in-law appeared, and drew upon 
 himself all the imprecations he bestowed upon the 
 embassy ; he no longer doubted his being in the 
 plot with the two persons he had left together, 
 and in his heart sincerely wished him such recom- 
 pense for his good offices as such good offices 
 deserved. It was with great difficulty that he 
 restrained himself from immediately acquainting 
 him what was his opinion of such conduct. He 
 thought that what he had already seen was a suf- 
 ficient proof of his wife's infidelity ; but before 
 the end of the very same day, some circumstances 
 occurred which increased his suspicions, and per- 
 suaded him that they had taken advantage of his 
 absence, and of the honourable officiousness of his 
 brother-in-law. He passed, however, that night 
 
226 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 with tranquillity ; but the next morning, being re- 
 duced to the necessity either of bursting or giving 
 vent to his sorrows and conjectures, he did noth- 
 ing but think and walk about the room until park- 
 time. He went to court, seemed very busy, as if 
 seeking for some person or other, imagining that 
 people guessed at the subject of his uneasiness. 
 He avoided everybody, but at length meeting with 
 Hamilton, he thought he was the very man that 
 he wanted ; and, having desired him to take an 
 airing with him in Hyde Park, he took him up in 
 his coach, and they arrived at the Ring, without a 
 word having passed between them. 
 
 Hamilton, who saw him as yellow as jealousy 
 itself, and particularly thoughtful, imagined that 
 he had just discovered what all the world had 
 perceived long before ; when Chesterfield, after 
 a broken, insignificant preamble, asked him how 
 he succeeded with Lady Castlemaine. Hamilton, 
 who very well saw that he meant nothing by this 
 question, nevertheless thanked him ; and as he 
 was thinking of an answer, "Your cousin," said 
 the earl, " is extremely coquettish, and I have 
 some reason to suppose she is not so prudent as 
 she ought to be." Hamilton thought the last 
 charge a little too severe ; and as he was en- 
 deavouring to refute it, "Good God!" said my 
 lord, "you see as well as the whole court, what 
 airs she gives herself ; husbands are always the 
 last people that are spoken to about those affairs 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 227 
 
 that concern them the most, but they are not 
 always the last to perceive it themselves. Though 
 you have made me your confidant in other mat- 
 ters, yet I am not at all surprised you have con- 
 cealed this from me ; but as I flatter myself with 
 having some share in your esteem, I should be 
 sorry you should think me such a fool as to be 
 incapable of seeing, though I am so complaisant 
 as not to express my sentiments ; nevertheless, I 
 find that affairs are now carried on with such bare- 
 faced boldness, that at length I find I shall be 
 forced to take some course or other. God forbid 
 that I should act the ridiculous part of a jealous 
 husband ; the character is odious ; but then I do 
 not intend, through an excess of patience, to be 
 made the jest of the town. Judge, therefore, 
 from what I am going to tell you, whether I ought 
 to sit down unconcerned, or whether I ought to 
 take measures for the preservation of my honour. 
 " His Royal Highness honoured me yesterday 
 by a visit to my wife." Hamilton started at this 
 beginning. "Yes," continued the other, "he did 
 give himself that trouble, and Lord Arran took 
 upon himself that of bringing him ; do not you 
 wonder that a man of his birth should act such a 
 part ? What advancement can he expect from one 
 who employs him in such base services ? But we 
 have long known him to be one of the silliest 
 creatures in England, with his guitar, and his 
 other whims and follies." Chesterfield, after this 
 
228 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 short sketch of his brother-in-law's merit, began 
 to relate the observations he had made during the 
 visit, and asked Hamilton what he thought of his 
 cousin Arran, who had so obligingly left them 
 together. "This may appear surprising to you," 
 continued he, " but hear me out, and judge 
 whether I have reason to think that the close of 
 this pretty visit passed in perfect innocence. Lady 
 Chesterfield is amiable, it must be acknowledged, 
 but she is far from being such a miracle of beauty 
 as she supposes herself ; you know she has ugly 
 feet, but perhaps you are not acquainted that she 
 has still worse legs." " Pardon me," said Hamil- 
 ton, within himself. And the other continuing the 
 description, "Her legs," said his lordship, "are 
 short and thick ; and, to remedy these defects 
 as much as possible, she seldom wears any other 
 than green stockings." 
 
 Hamilton could not for his life imagine the drift 
 of all this discourse, and Chesterfield guessing his 
 thoughts, " Have a little patience," said he ; "I 
 went yesterday to Miss Stewart's after the audi- 
 ence of those d d Muscovites ; the king arrived 
 
 there just before me ; and as if the duke had 
 sworn to pursue me wherever I went that day, he 
 came in just after me. The conversation turned 
 upon the extraordinary appearance of the ambas- 
 sadors. I know not where that fool Crofts had 
 heard that all these Muscovites had handsome 
 wives ; and that all their wives had handsome legs. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 229 
 
 Upon this the king maintained that no woman 
 ever had such handsome legs as Miss Stewart ; 
 and she, to prove the truth of his majesty's asser- 
 tion, with the greatest imaginable ease, immedi- 
 ately showed her leg above the knee. Some were 
 ready to prostrate themselves, in order to adore its 
 beauty ; for indeed none can be handsomer ; but 
 the duke alone began to criticise upon it. He 
 contended that it was too slender, and that as for 
 himself, he would give nothing for a leg that was 
 not thicker and shorter, and concluded by saying 
 that no leg was worth anything without green stock- 
 ings. Now this, in my opinion, was a sufficient 
 demonstration that he had just seen green stock- 
 ings, and had them fresh in his remembrance." 
 
 Hamilton was at a loss what countenance to 
 put on during a narrative which raised in him 
 nearly the same conjectures ; he shrugged up his 
 shoulders, and faintly said that appearances were 
 often deceitful ; that Lady Chesterfield had the 
 foible of all beauties, who placed their merit on 
 the number of their admirers ; and whatever airs 
 she might imprudently have given herself, in 
 order not to discourage his Royal Highness, there 
 was no ground to suppose that she would indulge 
 him in any greater liberties to engage him ; but in 
 vain was it that he endeavoured to give that con- 
 solation to his friend which he did not feel himself. 
 Chesterfield plainly perceived that he did not 
 think of what he was saying ; however, he thought 
 
230 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 himself much obliged to him for the interest he 
 seemed to take in his concerns. 
 
 Hamilton was in haste to go home to vent his 
 spleen and resentment in a letter to his cousin. 
 The style of this billet was very different from 
 those which he formerly was accustomed to write 
 to her ; reproaches, bitter expostulations, tender- 
 ness, menaces, and all the effusions of a lover who 
 thinks he has reason to complain, composed this 
 epistle, which, for fear of accidents, he went to 
 deliver himself. 
 
 Never did she before appear so lovely, and never 
 did her eyes speak so kindly to him as at this 
 moment ; his heart quite relented ; but he was 
 determined not to lose all the fine things he had 
 said in his letter. In receiving it, she squeezed 
 his hand ; this action completely disarmed him, 
 and he would have given his life to have had this 
 letter again. It appeared to him at this instant 
 that all the grievances he complained of were 
 visionary and groundless ; he looked upon her 
 husband as a madman and an impostor, and quite 
 the reverse of what he supposed him to be a few 
 minutes before ; but this remorse came a little too 
 late. He had delivered his billet, and Lady Ches- 
 terfield had shown such impatience and eagerness 
 to read it as soon as she had got it that all cir- 
 cumstances seemed to conspire to justify her, and 
 to confound him. She managed to get quit, some 
 way or other, of some troublesome visitors, to 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 231 
 
 slip into her closet. He thought himself so cul- 
 pable that he had not the assurance to wait her 
 return ; he withdrew with the rest of the com- 
 pany ; but he did not dare to appear before her the 
 next day, to have an answer to his letter. How- 
 ever, he met her at court ; and this was the first 
 time, since the commencement of their amour, that 
 he did not seek for her. He stood at a distance, 
 with downcast looks, and appeared in such terrible 
 embarrassment that his condition was sufficient to 
 raise laughter or to cause pity, when Lady Ches- 
 terfield, approaching, thus accosted him : " Con- 
 fess," said she, " that you are in as foolish a 
 situation as any man of sense can be ; you wish 
 you had not written to me ; you are desirous of an 
 answer ; you hope for none ; yet you equally wish 
 for and dread it. I have, however, written you 
 one." She had not time to say more ; but the 
 few words she had spoken were accompanied with 
 such an air, and such a look, as to make him 
 believe that it was Venus with all her graces who 
 had addressed him. He was near her when she 
 sat down to cards, and as he was puzzling himself 
 to devise by what means he should get this 
 answer, she desired him to lay her gloves and fan 
 down somewhere. He took them, and with them 
 the billet in question ; and as he had perceived 
 nothing severe or angry in the conversation he had 
 with her, he hastened to open her letter, and read 
 as follows : 
 
232 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 " Your transports are so ridiculous that it is 
 doing you a favour to attribute them to an excess 
 of tenderness, which turns your head ; a man, 
 without doubt, must have a great inclination to be 
 jealous, to entertain such an idea of the person 
 you mention. Good God ! what a lover to have 
 caused uneasiness to a man of genius, and what a 
 genius to have got the better of mine ! Are not 
 you ashamed to give any credit to the visions of 
 a jealous fellow who brought nothing else with 
 him from Italy ? Is it possible that the story of 
 the green stockings, upon which he has founded 
 his suspicions, should have imposed upon you, 
 accompanied as it is with such pitiful circum- 
 stances ? Since he has made you his confidant, 
 why did not he boast of breaking in pieces my 
 poor harmless guitar ? This exploit, perhaps, 
 might have convinced you more than all the rest ; 
 recollect yourself, and if you are really in love with 
 me, thank fortune for a groundless jealousy, which 
 diverts to another quarter the attention he might 
 pay to my attachment for the most amiable and 
 the most dangerous man of the court." 
 
 Hamilton was ready to weep for joy at these en- 
 dearing marks of kindness, of which he thought 
 himself so unworthy. He was not satisfied with 
 kissing, in raptures, every part of this billet ; he 
 also kissed several times her gloves and her fan. 
 Play being over, Lady Chesterfield received them 
 from his hands, and read in his eyes the joy that 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 233 
 
 her billet had raised in his heart. Nor was he 
 satisfied with expressing his raptures only by 
 looks ; he hastened home, and wrote to her at 
 least four times as much. How different was 
 this letter from the other ! Though perhaps not 
 so well written ; for one does not show so much 
 wit in suing for pardon as in venting reproaches, 
 and it seldom happens that the soft, languishing 
 style of a love-letter is so penetrating as that of 
 invective. 
 
 Be that as it may, his peace was made ; their 
 past quarrel gave new life to their correspond- 
 ence, and Lady Chesterfield, to make him as easy 
 as he had before been distrustful, expressed on 
 every occasion a feigned contempt for his rival, 
 and a sincere aversion for her husband. 
 
 So great was his confidence in her, that he 
 consented she should show in public some marks 
 of attention to the duke, in order to conceal as 
 much as possible their private intelligence. Thus, 
 at this time nothing disturbed his peace of mind, 
 but his impatience of finding a favourable oppor- 
 tunity for the completion of his desires ; he thought 
 it was in her power to command it, but she ex- 
 cused herself on account of several difficulties 
 which she enumerated to him, and which she was 
 desirous he should remove by his industry and 
 attentions. 
 
 This silenced his complaints ; but whilst he was 
 endeavouring to surmount these obstacles, still 
 
234 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 wondering how it was possible that two persons 
 who were so well disposed to each other, and who 
 were agreed to make each other happy, could not 
 put their designs in execution, accident discovered 
 an unexpected adventure, which left him no room 
 to doubt, either of the happiness of his rival, or 
 of the perfidy of his mistress. 
 
 Misfortunes often fall light when most feared ; 
 and frequently prove heaviest when merited, and 
 when least suspected. Hamilton was in the middle 
 of the most tender and passionate letter he had 
 ever written to Lady Chesterfield, when her hus- 
 band came to announce to him the particulars of 
 this last discovery ; he came so suddenly upon 
 him, that he had only just time to conceal his 
 amorous epistle among his other papers. His 
 heart and mind were still so full of what he was 
 writing to his cousin, that her husband's com- 
 plaints against her at first were scarce attended 
 to ; besides, in his opinion, he had come in the 
 most unfortunate moment on all accounts. 
 
 He was, however, obliged to listen to him, and 
 he soon entertained quite different sentiments ; he 
 appeared almost petrified with astonishment, while 
 the earl was relating to him circumstances of 
 such an extravagant indiscretion, as seemed to 
 him quite incredible, notwithstanding the par- 
 ticulars of the fact. " You have reason to be 
 surprised at it," said my lord, concluding his 
 story ; " but if you doubt the truth of what I tell 
 
'COUNT DE GRAMMONT 235 
 
 you, it will be easy for you to find evidence that 
 will convince you ; for the scene of their tender 
 familiarities was no less public than the room 
 where the queen plays at cards, which, while her 
 Majesty was at play, was, God knows, pretty well 
 crowded. Lady Denham was the first who dis- 
 covered what they thought would pass unperceived 
 in the crowd ; and you may very well judge how 
 secret she would keep such a circumstance. The 
 truth is, she addressed herself to me first of all, 
 as I entered the room, to tell me that I should 
 give my wife a little advice, as other people might 
 take notice of what I might see myself, if I pleased. 
 " Your cousin was at play, as I before told you ; 
 the duke was sitting next to her; I know not 
 what was become of his hand, but I am sure 
 that no one could see his arm below the elbow. 
 I was standing behind them, just in the place 
 that Lady Denham had quitted ; the duke, turning 
 around, perceived me, and was so much disturbed 
 at my presence, that he almost undressed my lady 
 in pulling away his hand. I know not whether 
 they perceived that they were discovered ; but of 
 this I am convinced, that Lady Denham will take 
 care that everybody shall know it. I must con- 
 fess to you, that my embarrassment is so great, 
 that I cannot find words to express what I now 
 feel. I should not hesitate one moment what 
 course to take, if I might be allowed to show my 
 resentment against the person who has wronged 
 
236 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 me. As for her, I could manage her well enough, 
 if, unworthy as she is of any consideration, I had 
 not still some regard for an illustrious family, 
 that would be distracted were I to resent such an 
 injury as it deserves. In this particular you are 
 interested yourself ; you are my friend, and I 
 make you my confidant in an affair of the greatest 
 imaginable delicacy ; let us then consult together 
 what is proper to be done in so perplexing and 
 disagreeable a situation." 
 
 Hamilton, if possible, more astonished, and more 
 confounded than himself, was far from being in 
 a proper state to afford him advice on the present 
 occasion. He listened to nothing but jealousy, and 
 breathed nothing but revenge ; but these emotions 
 being somewhat abated, in hopes that there might 
 be calumny, or at least exaggeration in the charges 
 against Lady Chesterfield, he desired her husband 
 to suspend his resolutions, until he was more fully 
 informed of the fact ; assuring him, however, that 
 if he found the circumstances such as he had 
 related, he should regard and consult no other 
 interest than his. 
 
 Upon this they parted ; and Hamilton found, on 
 the first inquiry, that almost the whole court was 
 informed of the adventure, to which every one 
 added something in relating it. Vexation and 
 resentment inflamed his heart, and by degrees 
 extinguished every remnant of his former passion. 
 
 He might easily have seen her, and have made 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 237 
 
 her such reproaches as a man is generally inclined 
 to do on such occasions ; but he was too much 
 enraged to enter into any detail which might 
 have led to an explanation. He considered him- 
 self as the only person essentially injured in this 
 affair ; for he could never bring his mind to think 
 that the injuries of the husband could be placed 
 in competition with those of the lover. 
 
 He hastened to Lord Chesterfield, in the trans- 
 port of his passion, and told him that he had heard 
 enough to induce him to give such advice, as he 
 should follow himself in the same situation, and 
 that if he wished to save a woman so strongly 
 prepossessed, and who perhaps had not yet lost 
 all her innocence, though she had totally lost her 
 reason, he ought not to delay one single instant, 
 but immediately to carry her into the country 
 with the greatest possible expedition, without 
 allowing her the least time to recover her surprise. 
 
 Lord Chesterfield readily agreed to follow this 
 advice, which he had already considered as the 
 only counsel a friend could give him ; but his 
 lady, who did not suspect he had made this last 
 discovery of her conduct, thought he was joking 
 with her, when he told her to prepare for going 
 into the country in two days ; she was the more 
 induced to think so as it was in the very middle 
 of an extremely severe winter ; but she soon per- 
 ceived that he was in earnest. She knew from the 
 air and manner of her husband that he thought 
 
238 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 he had sufficient reason to treat her in this im- 
 perious style ; and finding all her relations serious 
 and cold to her complaint, she had no hope left 
 in this universally abandoned situation but in the 
 tenderness of Hamilton. She imagined she should 
 hear from him the cause of her misfortunes, of 
 which she was still totally ignorant, and that his 
 love would invent some means or other to prevent 
 a journey which she flattered herself would be 
 even more affecting to him than to herself; but 
 she was expecting pity from a crocodile. 
 
 At last, when she saw the eve of her departure 
 was come, that every preparation was made for a 
 long journey; that she was receiving farewell 
 visits in form, and that still she heard nothing 
 from Hamilton, both her hopes and her patience 
 forsook her in this wretched situation. A few 
 tears perhaps might have afforded her some relief, 
 but she chose rather to deny herself that comfort 
 than to give her husband so much satisfaction. 
 Hamilton's conduct on this occasion appeared to 
 her unaccountable ; and as he still never came 
 near her, she found means to convey to him the 
 following billet : 
 
 " Is it possible that you should be one of those, 
 who, without vouchsafing to tell me for what crime 
 I am treated like a slave, suffer me to be dragged 
 from society ? What means your silence and 
 indolence in a juncture wherein your tenderness 
 ought most particularly to appear, and actively 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 239 
 
 exert itself? I am upon the point of departing, 
 and am ashamed to think that you are the cause 
 of my looking upon it with horror, as I have 
 reason to believe that you are less concerned at it 
 than any other person. Do, at least, let me know 
 to what place I am to be dragged ; what is to be 
 done with me within a wilderness ; and on what 
 account you, like all the rest of the world, appear 
 changed in your behaviour toward a person whom 
 all the world could not oblige to change with re- 
 gard to you, if your weakness or your ingratitude 
 did not render you unworthy of her tenderness." 
 
 This billet did but harden his heart, and make 
 him more proud of his vengeance ; he swallowed 
 down full draughts of pleasure in beholding her 
 reduced to despair, being persuaded that her grief 
 and regret for her departure were on account of 
 another person ; he felt uncommon satisfaction in 
 having a share in tormenting her, and was par- 
 ticularly pleased with the scheme he had contrived 
 to separate her from a rival upon the very point, per- 
 haps, of being made happy. Thus fortified as he 
 was against his natural tenderness, with all the 
 severity of jealous resentment, he saw her depart 
 with an indifference which he did not even en- 
 deavour to conceal from her. This unexpected 
 treatment, joined to the complication of her other 
 misfortunes, had almost in reality plunged her 
 into despair. 
 
 The court was filled with the story of this 
 
240 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 adventure ; nobody was ignorant of the occasion 
 of this sudden departure, but very few approved 
 of Lord Chesterfield's conduct. In England they 
 looked with astonishment upon a man who could 
 be so uncivil as to be jealous of his wife ; and in 
 the city of London it was a prodigy, till that time 
 unknown, to see a husband have recourse to vio- 
 lent means, to prevent what jealousy fears, and 
 what it always deserves. They endeavoured, how- 
 ever, to excuse poor Lord Chesterfield, as far as 
 they could safely do it, without incurring the 
 public odium, by laying all the blame on his bad 
 education. This made all the mothers vow to God 
 that none of their sons should ever set a foot in 
 Italy, lest they should bring back with them that 
 infamous custom of laying restraint upon their 
 wives. 
 
 As this story for a long time took up the atten- 
 tion of the court, the Chevalier de Grammont, 
 who was not thoroughly acquainted with all the 
 particulars, inveighed more bitterly than all the 
 citizens of London put together against this 
 tyranny ; and it was upon this occasion that he 
 produced new words to that fatal saraband which 
 had unfortunately so great a share in the adventure. 
 The chevalier passed for the author ; but if Saint 
 Evremond had any part in the composition, it cer- 
 tainly was greatly inferior to his other perform- 
 ances, as the reader will see in the following 
 chapter. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 [VERY man who believes that his honour 
 depends upon that of his wife is a fool 
 who torments himself, and drives her to 
 despair ; but he who, being naturally jealous, has 
 the additional misfortune of loving his wife, and 
 who expects that she should only live for him, is 
 a perfect madman, whom the torments of hell 
 have actually taken hold of in this world, and 
 whom nobody pities. All reasoning and observa- 
 tion on these unfortunate circumstances attending 
 wedlock concur in this, that precaution is vain and 
 useless before the evil, and revenge odious after- 
 ward. 
 
 The Spaniards, who tyrannise over their wives, 
 more by custom than from jealousy, content them- 
 selves with preserving the niceness of their honour 
 by duennas, grates, and locks. The Italians, who 
 are wary in their suspicions, and vindictive in their 
 resentments, pursue a different line of conduct ; 
 some satisfy themselves with keeping their wives 
 under locks which they think secure, others by 
 ingenious precautions exceed whatever the Span- 
 iards can invent for confining the fair sex ; but 
 241 
 
242 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the generality are of opinion, that in either un- 
 avoidable danger or in manifest transgression, the 
 surest way is to assassinate. 
 
 But, ye courteous and indulgent nations, who, 
 far from admitting these savage and barbarous 
 customs, give full liberty to your dear ribs, and 
 commit the care of their virtue to their own dis- 
 cretion, you pass without alarms or strife your 
 peaceful days, in all the enjoyments of domestic 
 indolence ! 
 
 It was certainly some evil genius that induced 
 Lord Chesterfield to distinguish himself from his 
 patient and good-natured countrymen, and ridicu- 
 lously to afford the world an opportunity of exam- 
 ining into the particulars of an adventure which 
 would perhaps never have been known without the 
 verge of the court, and which would everywhere 
 have been forgotten in less than a month ; but 
 now, as soon as ever he had turned his back, in 
 order to march away with his prisoner, and the 
 ornaments she was supposed to have bestowed 
 upon him, God only knows what a terrible attack 
 there was made upon his rear. Rochester, Mid- 
 dlesex, Sedley, Etheredge, 1 and all the whole 
 
 'John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester, — " a man," as Lord 
 Orford observes, " whom the Muses were fond to inspire, and 
 ashamed to avow ; and who practised, without the least reserve, 
 that secret which can make verses more read for their defects than 
 for their merits" ("Noble Authors," vol. ii. p. 43), — was born, 
 according to Burnet and Wood, in the month of April, 1648; 
 but Gadbury, in his almanac for 1695, fixes the date on A P ri ^ 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 243 
 
 band of wits, exposed him in numberless ballads, 
 and diverted the public at his expense. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was highly pleased 
 with these lively and humourous compositions, and 
 wherever this subject was mentioned, never failed 
 to produce his supplement upon the occasion. " It 
 is strange," said he, "that the country, which is 
 little better than a gallows or a grave for young 
 
 I, 1647, from the information of Lord Rochester himself. His 
 father was Henry, Earl of Rochester, better known by the title 
 of Lord Wilmot. He was educated at Wadham College, Oxford, 
 and, in 1665, went to sea with the Earl of Sandwich, and dis- 
 played a degree of valour which he never showed at any period 
 afterward. Bishop Burnet says, he " was naturally modest, till 
 the court corrupted him. His wit had in it a peculiar brightness, 
 to which none could ever arrive. He gave himself up to all 
 sorts of extravagance, and to the wildest frolics that a wanton 
 wit could devise. He would have gone about the streets as a 
 beggar, and made love as a porter. He set up a stage as an 
 Italian mountebank. He was for some years always drunk ; and 
 was ever doing some mischief. The king loved his company, for 
 the diversion it afforded, better than his person ; and there was 
 no love lost between them. He took his revenges in many libels. 
 He found out a footman that knew all the court ; and he fur- 
 nished him with a red coat and a musket, as a sentinel, and 
 kept him all the winter long, every night, at the doors of such la- 
 dies as he believed might be in intrigues. In the court, a sentinel 
 is little minded, and is believed to be posted by a captain of the 
 guards to hinder a combat ; so this man saw who walked about 
 and visited at forbidden hours. By this means Lord Rochester 
 made many discoveries ; and when he was well furnished with 
 materials, he used to retire into the country, for a month or two, 
 to write libels. Once, being drunk, he intended to give the king 
 a libel that he had written on some ladies ; but, by a mistake, he 
 gave him one written on himself. He fell into an ill habit of 
 body, and, in set fits of sickness, he had deep remorses , for he 
 
244 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 people, is allotted in this land only for the unfortu- 
 nate, and not for the guilty ! Poor Lady Chester- 
 field, for some unguarded looks, is immediately 
 seized upon by an angry husband, who will oblige 
 her to spend her Christmas at a country-house, a 
 
 was guilty both of much impiety and of great immoralities. But 
 as he recovered, he threw these off, and turned again to his for- 
 mer ill courses. In the last year of his life, I was much with 
 him, and have written a book of what passed between him and 
 me. I do verily believe, he was then so changed, that, if he had 
 recovered, he would have made good all his resolutions." — His- 
 tory of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 372. On this book, mentioned 
 by the bishop, Doctor Johnson pronounces the following eulo- 
 gium : that it is one " which the critic ought to read for its 
 elegance, the philosopher for its arguments, and the saint for 
 its piety. It were an injury to the reader to offer him an 
 abridgment." — Life of Rochester. Lord Rochester died July 
 26, 1680. 
 
 At this time the Earl of Middlesex was Lionel, who died in 
 1674. The person intended by our author was Charles, then 
 Lord Buckhurst, afterward Earl of Middlesex, and, lastly, Duke 
 of Dorset. He was born January 24, 1637. Bishop Burnet says, 
 he " was a generous, good-natured man. He was so oppressed 
 with phlegm, that, till he was a little heated with wine, he scarce 
 ever spoke ; but he was, upon that exaltation, a very lively man. 
 Never was so much ill nature in a pen as in his, joined with so 
 much good nature as was in himself, even to excess ; for he was 
 against all punishing, even of malefactors. He was bountiful, 
 even to run himself into difficulties, and charitable to a fault ; for 
 he commonly gave all he had about him when he met an object 
 that moved him. But he was so lazy, that, though the king 
 seemed to court him to be a favourite, he would not give him- 
 self the trouble that belonged to that post. He hated the court, 
 and despised the king, when he saw he was neither generous 
 nor tender-hearted." — History of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 370. 
 Lord Orford says of him, that " he was the finest gentleman of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 245 
 
 hundred and fifty miles from London ; while here 
 there are a thousand ladies who are left at liberty 
 to do whatever they please, and who indulge in 
 that liberty, and whose conduct, in short, deserves 
 a daily bastinado. I name no person, God forbid 
 
 the voluptuous court of Charles the Second, and in the gloomy 
 one of King William. He had as much wit as his first master, 
 or his contemporaries, Buckingham and Rochester, without the 
 royal want of feeling, the duke's want of principles, or the earl's 
 want of thought. The latter said with astonishment, ' that he 
 did not know how it was, but Lord Dorset might do anything, 
 and yet was never to blame.' It was not that he was free from 
 the failings of humanity, but he had the tenderness of it too, 
 which made everybody excuse whom everybody loved ; for even 
 the asperity of his verses seems to have been forgiven to 
 
 " • The best good man, with the worst-natured muse.' " 
 
 — Noble Authors, vol. ii. p. 96. Lord Dorset died January 19, 
 1705-6. 
 
 Sir Charles Sedley was born about the year 1639, and was 
 educated at Wadham College, Oxford. He ran into all the 
 excesses of the times in which he lived. Burnet says, " Sedley 
 had a more sudden and copious wit, which furnished a perpetual 
 run of discourse ; but he was not so correct as Lord Dorset, nor 
 so sparkling as Lord Rochester." — History of his Own Times, 
 vol. i. p. 372. He afterward took a more serious turn, and was 
 active against the reigning family at the Revolution ; to which 
 he was probably urged by the dishonour brought upon his 
 daughter, created Countess of Dorchester by King James II. 
 Lord Rochester's lines on his powers of seduction are well 
 known. He died 20th August, 1701. 
 
 Sir George Etheredge, author of three comedies, was born 
 
 about the year 1636. He was, in James the Second's reign, 
 
 employed abroad ; first as envoy to Hamburgh, and afterward 
 
 ft as minister at Ratisbon, where he died, about the time of the 
 
 Revolution. 
 
246 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 I should ; but Lady Middleton, Lady Denham, the 
 queen's and the duchess's maids of honour, and a 
 hundred others, bestow their favours to the right 
 and to the left, and not the least notice is taken 
 of their conduct. As for Lady Shrewsbury, she is 
 conspicuous. I would take a wager she might 
 have a man killed for her every day, and she 
 would only hold her head the higher for it ; 
 one would suppose she imported from Rome 
 plenary indulgences for her conduct ; there are 
 three or four gentlemen who wear an ounce of 
 her hair made into bracelets, and no person finds 
 any fault ; and yet shall such a cross-grained fool 
 as Chesterfield be permitted to exercise an act of 
 tyranny, altogether unknown in this country, upon 
 the prettiest woman in England, and all for a mere 
 trifle. But I am his humble servant ; his precau- 
 tions will avail him nothing; on the contrary, 
 very often a woman, who had no bad intentions 
 when she was suffered to remain in tranquillity, 
 is prompted to such conduct by revenge, or re- 
 duced to it by necessity. This is as true as the 
 gospel ; hear now what Francisco's saraband says 
 on the subject : 
 
 " ' Tell me, jealous-pated swain, 
 
 What avail thy idle arts, 
 
 To divide united hearts ? 
 
 Love, like the wind, I trow, 
 
 Will, where it listeth, blow; 
 So, prithee, peace, for all thy cares are vain. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 247 
 
 " * When you are by, 
 
 Nor wishful look, be sure, nor eloquent sigh, 
 
 Shall dare those inward fires discover, 
 
 Which burn in either lover : 
 Yet Argus' self, if Argus were thy spy, 
 
 Should ne'er, with all his mob of eyes, 
 Surprise. 
 
 " ' Some joys forbidden, 
 Transports hidden, 
 Which love, through dark and secret ways, 
 Mysterious love, to kindred souls conveys.' " 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont passed for the 
 author of this sonnet ; neither the justness of 
 the sentiment, nor turn of it are surprisingly- 
 beautiful, but as it contained some truths that 
 flattered the genius of the nation, and pleased 
 those who interested themselves for the fair sex, 
 the ladies were all desirous of having it to teach 
 their children. 
 
 During all this time the Duke of York, not 
 being in the way of seeing Lady Chesterfield, 
 easily forgot her ; her absence, however, had some 
 circumstances attending it which could not but 
 sensibly affect the person who had occasioned 
 her confinement ; but there are certain fortunate 
 tempers to which every situation is easy ; they 
 feel neither disappointment with bitterness, nor 
 pleasure with acuteness. In the meantime, as 
 the duke could not remain idle, he had no sooner 
 forgotten Lady Chesterfield, but he began to 
 
248 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 think of her whom he had been in love with 
 before, and was upon the point of relapsing into 
 his old passion for Miss Hamilton. 
 
 There was in London a celebrated portrait- 
 painter, called Lely, 1 who had greatly improved 
 himself by studying the famous Vandyke's pic- 
 tures, which were dispersed all over England in 
 abundance. Lely imitated Vandyke's manner, and 
 approached the nearest to him of all the moderns. 
 The Duchess of York, being desirous of having 
 the portraits of the handsomest persons at court, 
 Lely painted them, and employed all his skill in 
 
 'Sir Peter Lely was born at Soest, in Westphalia, 1617, and 
 came to England in 1641. Lord Orford observes; "If Van- 
 dyke's portraits are often tame and spiritless, at least they are 
 natural; his laboured draperies flow with ease, and not a fold 
 but is placed with propriety. Lely supplied the want of taste 
 with clinquant ; his nymphs trail fringes and embroidery through 
 meadows and purling streams. Add, that Vandyke's habits 
 are those of the times; Lely's a sort of fantastic nightgowns, 
 fastened with a single pin. The latter was, in truth, the ladies' 
 painter; and whether the age was improved in beauty or in 
 flattery, Lely's women are certainly much handsomer than 
 those of Vandyke. They please as much more as they evi- 
 dently meant to please. He caught the reigning character, 
 and 
 
 " ' . . . on the animated canvas stole 
 
 The sleepy eye, that spoke the melting soul.' 
 
 I do not know whether, even in softness of the flesh, he did not 
 excel his predecessor. The beauties at Windsor are the court 
 of Paphos, and ought to be engraved for the memoirs of its 
 charming biographer, Count Hamilton." — Anecdotes of Paint- 
 ing, vol. iii. p. 27. Sir Peter Lely died 1680, and was buried 
 in St. Paul's, Covent Garden. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 249 
 
 the performance ; nor could he ever exert himself 
 upon more beautiful subjects. Every picture ap- 
 peared a masterpiece, and that of Miss Hamilton 
 appeared the highest finished ; Lely himself ac- 
 knowledged that he had drawn it with a particular 
 pleasure. The Duke of York took a delight in 
 looking at it, and began again to ogle the original ; 
 he had very little reason to hope for success ; and 
 at the same time that his hopeless passion alarmed 
 Chevalier de Grammont, Lady Denham thought 
 proper to renew the negotiation which had so 
 unluckily been interrupted : it was soon brought 
 to a conclusion ; for where both parties are sin- 
 cere in a negotiation, no time is lost in cavilling. 
 Everything succeeded prosperously on one side ; 
 yet I know not what fatality obstructed the pre- 
 tensions of the other. The duke was very urgent 
 with the duchess to put Lady Denham in posses- 
 sion of the place which was the object of her 
 ambition ; but, as she was not guarantee for the 
 performance of the secret articles of the treaty, 
 though till this time she had borne with patience 
 the inconstancy of the duke, and yielded submis- 
 sively to his desires, yet, in the present instance, 
 it appeared hard and dishonourable to her, to 
 entertain near her person a rival, who would 
 expose her to the danger of acting but a second 
 part in the midst of her own court. However, 
 she saw herself upon the point of being forced 
 to it by authority, when a far more unfortunate 
 
250 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 obstacle for ever bereft poor Lady Denham of the 
 hopes of possessing that fatal place, which she 
 had solicited with such eagerness. 
 
 Old Denham, naturally jealous, became more 
 and more suspicious, and found that he had suffi- 
 cient ground for such conduct. His wife was 
 young and handsome, he old and disagreeable; 
 what reason then had he to flatter himself that 
 Heaven would exempt him from the fate of hus- 
 bands in the like circumstances? This he was 
 continually saying to himself ; but when compli- 
 ments were poured in upon him from all sides, 
 upon the place his lady was going to have near 
 the duchess's person, he formed ideas of what 
 was sufficient to have made him hang himself, if 
 he had possessed the resolution. The traitor 
 chose rather to exercise his courage against 
 another. He wanted precedents for putting in 
 practice his resentments in a privileged country. 
 That of Lord Chesterfield was not sufficiently 
 bitter for the revenge he meditated ; besides, he 
 had no country-house to which he could carry 
 his unfortunate wife. This being the case, the 
 old villain made her travel a much longer journey 
 without stirring out of London. Merciless fate 
 robbed her of life, 1 and of her dearest hopes, in 
 the bloom of youth. 
 
 1 The lampoons of the day, some of which are to be found 
 in Andrew Marvell's Works, more than insinuate that she 
 was deprived of life by a mixture infused into some chocolate. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 251 
 
 As no person entertained any doubt of his 
 having poisoned her, the populace of his neigh- 
 bourhood had a design of tearing him in pieces, 
 as soon as he should come abroad ; but he shut 
 himself up to bewail her death, until their fury 
 was appeased by a magnificent funeral, at which 
 he distributed four times more burnt wine than 
 had ever been drunk at any burial in England. 
 
 While the town was in fear of some great 
 disaster, as an expiation for these fatal effects 
 of jealousy, Hamilton was not altogether so easy 
 as he flattered himself he should be after the 
 departure of Lady Chesterfield. He had only 
 consulted the dictates of revenge in what he 
 had done. His vengeance was satisfied ; but 
 such was far from being the case with his love, 
 and having, since the absence of her he still 
 admired, notwithstanding his resentments, leisure 
 to make those reflections which a recent injury 
 will not permit a man to attend to, " And where- 
 fore," said he to himself, " was I so eager to make 
 her miserable, who alone, however culpable she 
 may be, has it in her power to make me happy ? 
 Cursed jealousy!" continued he, "yet more cruel 
 to those who torment than to those who are tor- 
 mented ! What have I gained by having blasted 
 the hopes of a more happy rival, since I was not 
 able to perform this without depriving myself, 
 
 The slander of the times imputed her death to the jealousy 
 of the Duchess of York. 
 
252 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 at the same time, of her upon whom the whole 
 happiness and comfort of my life was centred ? " 
 
 Thus, clearly proving to himself, by a great 
 many reasonings of the same kind, and all out 
 of season, that in such an engagement it was 
 much better to partake with another than to have 
 nothing at all, he filled his mind with a number 
 of vain regrets and unprofitable remorse, when 
 he received a letter from her who occasioned 
 them, but a letter so exactly adapted to increase 
 them, that, after he had read it, he looked upon 
 himself as the greatest scoundrel in the world. 
 Here it follows : 
 
 " You will, no doubt, be as much surprised 
 at this letter as I was at the unconcerned air 
 with which you beheld my departure. I am led 
 to believe that you had imagined reasons which, 
 in your own mind, justified such unseasonable 
 conduct. If you are still under the impression 
 of such barbarous sentiments, it will afford you 
 pleasure to be made acquainted with what I suffer 
 in the most horrible of prisons. Whatever the 
 country affords most melancholy in this season, 
 presents itself to my view on all sides. Sur- 
 rounded by impassable roads, out of one window 
 I see nothing but rocks, out of another nothing 
 but precipices ; but wherever I turn my eyes 
 within doors I meet those of a jealous husband, 
 still more insupportable than the sad objects that 
 encompass me. I should add to the misfortunes 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 253 
 
 of my life that of seeming criminal in the eyes of 
 a man who ought to have justified me, even 
 against convincing appearances, if by my avowed 
 innocence I had a right to complain or to expos- 
 tulate ; but how is it possible for me to justify 
 myself at such a distance ? And how can I flatter 
 myself that the description of a most dreadful 
 prison will not prevent you from believing me ? 
 But do you deserve that I should wish you did ? 
 Heavens ! how I must hate you, if I did not love 
 you to distraction. Come, therefore, and let me 
 once again see you, that you may hear my justifi- 
 cation ; and I am convinced that if after this visit 
 you find me guilty, it will not be with respect 
 to yourself. Our Argus sets out to-morrow for 
 Chester, where a lawsuit will detain him a week. 
 I know not whether he will gain it ; but I am sure 
 it will be entirely your fault if he does not lose 
 one, for which he is at least as anxious as that 
 he is now going after." 
 
 This letter was sufficient to make a man run 
 blindfold into an adventure still more rash than 
 that which was proposed to him, and that was rash 
 enough in all respects ; he could not perceive by 
 what means she could justify herself, but as she 
 assured him he should be satisfied with his journey, 
 this was all he desired at present. 
 
 There was one of his relations with Lady Ches- 
 terfield, who, having accompanied her in her exile, 
 had gained some share in their mutual confidence : 
 
254 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 and it was through her means he received this 
 letter, with all the necessary instructions about 
 his journey and his arrival. Secrecy being the soul 
 of such expeditions, especially before an amour is 
 accomplished, he took post, and set out in the 
 night, animated by the most tender and flattering 
 wishes, so that in less than no time almost, in com- 
 parison with the distance and the badness of the 
 roads, he had travelled a hundred and fifty tedious 
 miles. At the last stage he prudently dismissed the 
 postboy. It was not yet daylight, and therefore, 
 for fear of the rocks and precipices mentioned in 
 her letter, he proceeded with tolerable discretion, 
 considering he was in love. 
 
 By this means he fortunately escaped all the 
 dangerous places, and, according to his instructions, 
 alighted at a little hut adjoining to the park wall. 
 The place was not magnificent, but, as he only 
 wanted rest, it did well enough for that. He did 
 not wish for daylight, and was even still less de- 
 sirous of being seen ; wherefore, having shut 
 himself up in this obscure retreat, he fell into a 
 profound sleep, and did not wake until noon. As 
 he was particularly hungry when he awoke, he ate 
 and drank heartily ; and, as he was the neatest 
 man at court, and was expected by the neatest lady 
 in England, he spent the remainder of the day in 
 dressing himself, and in making all those prepara- 
 tions which the time and place permitted, without 
 deigning once to look around him, or to ask his 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 255 
 
 landlord a single question. At last the orders he 
 expected with great impatience were brought him, 
 in the beginning of the evening, by a servant, who, 
 attending him as a guide, after having led him for 
 about half an hour in the dirt, through a park 
 of vast extent, brought him at last into a garden, 
 into which a little door opened ; he was posted 
 exactly opposite to this door, by which in a short 
 time he was to be introduced to a more agreeable 
 situation, and here his conductor left him. The 
 night advanced, but the door never opened. 
 
 Though the winter was almost over, the cold 
 weather seemed only to be beginning; he was 
 dirtied up to his knees in mud, and soon perceived 
 that if he continued much longer in this garden it 
 would all be frozen. This beginning of a very 
 dark and bitter night would have been unbearable 
 to any other ; but it was nothing to a man who 
 flattered himself to pass the remainder of it in the 
 height of bliss. However, he began to wonder at 
 so many precautions in the absence of a husband. 
 His imagination, by a thousand delicious and tender 
 ideas, supported him some time against the tor- 
 ments of impatience and the inclemency of the 
 weather ; but he felt his imagination, notwithstand- 
 ing, cooling by degrees, and two hours, which 
 seemed to him as tedious as two whole ages, hav- 
 ing passed, and not the least notice being taken of 
 him, either from the door or from the window, he 
 began to reason with himself upon the posture 
 
256 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 of his affairs, and what was the fittest conduct fot 
 him to pursue in this emergency. "What if I 
 should rap at this cursed door?" said he; "for if 
 my fate requires that I should perish, it is at least 
 more honourable to die in the house than to be 
 starved to death in the garden ; but then," con- 
 tinued he, "I may, thereby, perhaps, expose a 
 person whom some unforeseen accident may, at 
 this very instant, have reduced to greater perplexity 
 than even I myself am in." This thought supplied 
 him with a necessary degree of patience and forti- 
 tude against the enemies he had to contend with ; 
 he therefore began to walk quickly to and fro, 
 with resolution to wait, as long as he could keep 
 alive, the end of an adventure which had such an 
 uncomfortable beginning. All this was to no pur- 
 pose ; for though he used every effort to keep 
 himself warm, and though muffled up in a thick 
 cloak, yet he began to be benumbed in all his 
 limbs, and the cold gained the ascendency over all 
 his amorous vivacity and eagerness. Daybreak 
 was not far off, and judging now that, though the 
 accursed door should even be opened, it would be 
 to no purpose, he returned, as well as he could, to 
 the place from whence he had set out upon this 
 wonderful expedition. 
 
 All the fagots that were in the cottage were 
 hardly able to unfreeze him. The more he reflected 
 on his adventure, the circumstances attending it 
 appeared still the more strange and unaccountable ; 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 257 
 
 but so far from accusing the charming countess, 
 he suffered a thousand different anxieties on her 
 account. Sometimes he imagined that her hus- 
 band might have returned unexpectedly ; some- 
 times, that she might suddenly have been taken 
 ill ; in short, that some insuperable obstacle had 
 unluckily interposed, and prevented his happi- 
 ness, notwithstanding his mistress's kind intentions 
 toward him. "But wherefore," said he, "did she 
 forget me in that cursed garden ? Is it possible 
 that she could not find a single moment to make 
 me at least some sign or other, if she could neither 
 speak to me nor give me admittance ? " He knew 
 not which of these conjectures to rely upon, or 
 how to answer his own questions ; but as he flat- 
 tered himself that everything would succeed better 
 the next night, after having vowed not to set a foot 
 again into that unfortunate garden, he gave orders 
 to be awakened as soon as any person should in- 
 quire for him. Then he laid himself down in one 
 of the worst beds in the world, and slept as sound 
 as if he had been in the best. He supposed that he 
 should not be awakened, but either by a letter or a 
 message from Lady Chesterfield ; but he had scarce 
 slept two hours, when he was roused by the sound 
 of the horn and the cry of the hounds. The hut 
 which afforded him a retreat, joining, as we before 
 said, to the park wall, he called his host to know 
 what was the occasion of that hunting, which made 
 a noise as if the whole pack of hounds had been in 
 
258 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 his bedchamber. He was told that it was my lord 
 hunting a hare in his park. " What lord ? " said 
 he, in great surprise. "The Earl of Chesterfield," 
 replied the peasant. He was so astonished at this 
 that at first he hid his head under the bedclothes, 
 under the idea that he already saw him entering 
 with all his hounds ; but as soon as he had a little 
 recovered himself, he began to curse capricious 
 fortune, no longer doubting but this jealous fool's 
 return had occasioned all his tribulations in the 
 preceding night. 
 
 It was not possible for him to sleep again, after 
 such an alarm ; he therefore got up, that he might 
 revolve in his mind all the stratagems that are 
 usually employed either to deceive, or to remove 
 out of the way, a jealous scoundrel of a husband, 
 who thought fit to neglect his lawsuit in order to 
 plague his wife. He had just finished dressing 
 himself, and was beginning to question his land- 
 lord, when the same servant who had conducted 
 him to the garden delivered him a letter and dis- 
 appeared, without waiting for an answer. This 
 letter was from his relation, and was to this effect : 
 
 " I am extremely sorry that I have innocently 
 been accessary to bringing you to a place to which 
 you were only invited to be laughed at. I opposed 
 this journey at first, though I was then persuaded 
 it was wholly suggested by her tenderness ; but 
 she has now undeceived me ; she triumphs in the 
 trick she has played you. Her husband has not 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 259 
 
 stirred from hence, but stays at home, out of com- 
 plaisance to her ; he treats her in the most affec- 
 tionate manner, and it was upon their reconciliation 
 that she found out that you had advised him to 
 carry her into the country. She has conceived 
 such hatred and aversion against you for it, that 
 I find, from her discourse, she has not yet wholly 
 satisfied her resentment. Console yourself for the 
 hatred of a person whose heart never merited your 
 tenderness. Return ; a longer stay in this place 
 will but draw upon you some fresh misfortune. 
 For my part, I shall soon leave her ; I know her, 
 and I thank God for it. I do not repent having 
 pitied her at first, but I am disgusted with an 
 employment which but ill agrees with my way of 
 thinking." 
 
 Upon reading this letter, astonishment, shame, 
 hatred, and rage, seized at once upon his heart ; 
 then menaces, invectives, and the desire of ven- 
 geance, broke forth by turns, and excited his 
 passion and resentment ; but, after he deliberately 
 considered the matter, he resolved that it was now 
 the best way quietly to mount his. horse, and to 
 carry back with him to London a severe cold, 
 instead of the soft wishes and tender desires he 
 had brought from thence. He quitted this per- 
 fidious place with much greater expedition than he 
 had arrived at it, though his mind was far from 
 being occupied with such tender and agreeable 
 ideas ; however, when he thought himself at a 
 
260 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 sufficient distance to be out of danger of meeting 
 Lord Chesterfield and his hounds, he chose to 
 look back that he might at least have the satis- 
 faction of seeing the prison where this wicked 
 enchantress was confined, but what was his sur- 
 prise, when he saw a very fine house, situated on 
 the banks of a river, in the most delightful and 
 pleasant country imaginable. 1 Neither rock nor 
 precipice was here to be seen, for, in reality, they 
 were only in the letter of his perfidious mistress. 
 This furnished fresh cause for resentment and 
 confusion to a man who thought himself so well 
 acquainted with all the wiles, as well as weak- 
 nesses, of the fair sex, and who now found him- 
 self the dupe of a coquette, who was reconciled to 
 
 1 This was Bretby, in the county of Derby. A late traveller 
 has the following reflections on this place : " Moving back again 
 a few miles to the west, we trace, with sad reflection, the mel- 
 ancholy ruins and destructions of what was once the boasted 
 beauty of the lovely country, viz., Bretby, the ancient seat of the 
 Earls of Chesterfield. Nothing scarce is left of that former 
 grandeur, those shades, those sylvan scenes that everywhere 
 graced the most charming of ail parks; the baneful hand of 
 luxury hath, with rude violence, laid them waste. About ten 
 years ago, the venerable and lofty pile was standing, and 
 exhibited delightful magnificence to its frequent visitors; its 
 painted roofs and walls, besides a large collection of pictures, 
 afforded much entertainment to the fond admirer of antique 
 beauties, and the whole stood as a lasting monument of fame 
 and credit to its lordly owner. Would they were standing now ! 
 But that thought is vain; not only each surrounding monument, 
 but the very stones themselves, have been converted to the 
 purpose of filthy lucre." — Tour in 1787 from London to the 
 Western Islands 0/ Scotland, i2mo, p. 29. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 261 
 
 her husband, in order to be revenged on her 
 lover. 
 
 At last he reached London, well furnished with 
 arguments to maintain that a man must be ex- 
 tremely weak to trust to the tenderness of a 
 woman who has once deceived him, but that he 
 must be a complete fool to run after her. 
 
 This adventure not being much to his credit, he 
 suppressed, as much as possible, both the journey 
 and the circumstances attending it ; but, as we 
 may easily suppose, Lady Chesterfield made no 
 secret of it, the king came to the knowledge of 
 it, and, having complimented Hamilton upon it, 
 desired to be informed of all the particulars of the 
 expedition. The Chevalier de Grammont hap- 
 pened to be present at this recital, and, having 
 gently inveighed against the treacherous manner 
 in which he had been used, said : "If she is to be 
 blamed for carrying the jest so far, you are no 
 less to be blamed for coming back so suddenly, 
 like an ignorant novice. I dare lay a hundred 
 guineas, she has more than once repented of a 
 resentment which you pretty well deserved for the 
 trick you had played her ; women love revenge, 
 but their resentments seldom last long, and if you 
 had remained in the neighbourhood till the next 
 day, I will be hanged if she would not have given 
 you satisfaction for the first night's sufferings." 
 Hamilton, being of a different opinion, the Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont resolved to maintain his asser- 
 
262 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 tion by a case in point, and, addressing himself to 
 the king, "Sir," said he, "your Majesty, I sup- 
 pose, must have known Marion de l'Orme, the 
 most charming creature in all France. Though she 
 was as witty as an angel, she was as capricious as 
 a devil. This beauty having made me an appoint- 
 ment, a whim seized her to put me off, and to give 
 it to another ; she, therefore, wrote me one of the 
 tenderest billets in the world, full of the grief and 
 sorrow she was in, by being obliged to disappoint 
 me, on account of a most terrible headache, that 
 obliged her to keep her bed, and deprived her of 
 the pleasure of seeing me till the next day. This 
 headache coming all of a sudden, appeared to me 
 very suspicious, and, never doubting but it was her 
 intention to jilt me, 'Very well, mistress coquette,' 
 said I to myself, 'if you do not enjoy the pleasure 
 of seeing me this day, you shall not enjoy the 
 satisfaction of seeing another.' 
 
 " Hereupon, I detached all my servants, some of 
 whom patrolled about her house, whilst others 
 watched her door ; one of the latter brought me 
 intelligence that no person had gone into her house 
 all the afternoon, but that a footboy had gone 
 out as it grew dark ; that he followed him as far as 
 the Rue St. Antoine, where this boy met another, 
 to whom he only spoke two or three words. This 
 was sufficient to confirm my suspicions, and make 
 me resolve either to make one of the party, or to 
 disconcert it. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 263 
 
 " As the bagnio where I lodged was at a great 
 distance from the Marais, as soon as the night set 
 in I mounted my horse, without any attendant. 
 When I came to the Place Royale, the servant, 
 who was sentry there, assured me that no person 
 was yet gone into Mile, de l'Orme's ' house. I 
 rode forward toward the Rue Saint Antoine, and, 
 just as I was going out of the Place Royale, I 
 saw a man on foot coming into it, who avoided 
 me as much as he possibly could ; but his en- 
 deavour was all to no purpose ; I knew him to be 
 the Duke de Brissac, and I no longer doubted 
 but he was my rival that night. I then approached 
 toward him, seeming as if I feared I mistook my 
 man, and, alighting with a very busy air, 'Bris- 
 sac, my friend,' said I, ' you must do me a service 
 of the very greatest importance. I have an ap- 
 pointment, for the first time, with a girl who lives 
 very near this place, and, as this visit is only to 
 concert measures, I shall make but a very short 
 stay ; be so kind, therefore, as to lend me your 
 cloak, and walk my horse about a little, until I 
 return ; but, above all, do not go far from this 
 place. You see that I use you freely like a friend ; 
 but you know it is upon condition that you may 
 
 1 Marion de l'Orme, born at Chalons, in Champagne, was 
 esteemed the most beautiful woman of her times. It is believed 
 that she was secretly married to the unfortunate Monsieur 
 Cinqmars. After his death, she became the mistress of Cardinal 
 Richelieu, and, at last, of Monsieur d'Emery, superintendent of 
 the finances. 
 
264 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 take the same liberty with me.' I took his cloak, 
 without waiting for his answer, and he took my 
 horse by the bridle, and followed me with his 
 eye ; but he gained no intelligence by this, for, 
 after having pretended to go into a house opposite 
 to him, I slipped under the piazzas to Mile, de 
 l'Orme's, where the door was opened as soon as 
 I knocked. I was so much muffled up in Bris- 
 sac's cloak that I was taken for him ; the door 
 was immediately shut, not the least question asked 
 me, and having none to ask myself, I went straight 
 to the lady's chamber. I found her upon a couch 
 in the most agreeable and genteelest dhhabille 
 imaginable. She never in her life looked so hand- 
 some, nor was so greatly surprised ; and, seeing 
 her speechless and confounded, « What is the 
 matter, my fair one ? ' said I ; ' methinks this is a 
 headache very elegantly set off ; but your head- 
 ache, to all appearance, is now gone ? ' ' Not in 
 the least,' said she, ' I can scarce support it, and 
 you will oblige me in going away, that I may go 
 to bed.' 'As for your going to bed, to that I 
 have not the least objection,' said I, 'but as for 
 my going away, that cannot be, my little princess ; 
 the Chevalier de Grammont is no fool ; a woman 
 does not dress herself with so much care for 
 nothing.' 'You will find, however,' said she, 'that 
 it is for nothing ; for you may depend upon it 
 that you shall be no gainer by it.' ' What ! ' said I, 
 'after having made me an appointment!' 'Well,' 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 265 
 
 replied she, hastily, « though I had made you fifty, 
 it still depends upon me, whether I chose to keep 
 them or not, and you must submit if I do not.' 
 ' This might do very well,' said I, ' if it was not 
 to give it to another.' Mile, de l'Orme, as haughty 
 as a woman of the greatest virtue, and as passion- 
 ate as one who has the least, was irritated at a 
 suspicion which gave her more concern than con- 
 fusion ; and seeing that she was beginning to put 
 herself in a passion, • Madame,' said I, ' pray do 
 not talk in so high a strain ; I know what per- 
 plexes you. You are afraid lest Brissac should 
 meet me here ; but you may make yourself easy 
 on that account. I met him not far from this place, 
 and God knows that I have so managed the affair 
 as to prevent his visiting you soon.' Having 
 spoken these words in a tone somewhat tragical, 
 she appeared concerned at first, and, looking upon 
 me with surprise, ' What do you mean about the 
 Duke de Brissac ? ' said she. ' I mean,' replied I, 
 'that he is at the end of the street, walking my 
 horse about ; but, if you will not believe me, send 
 one of your own servants thither, or look at his 
 cloak, which I left in your antechamber.' Upon 
 this she burst into a fit of laughter, in the midst 
 of her astonishment, and, throwing her arms 
 around my neck, ' My dear chevalier,' said she, 
 ' I can hold out no longer ; you are too amiable 
 and too eccentric not to be pardoned.' I then 
 told her the whole story. She was ready to die 
 
266 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 with laughing; and, parting very good friends, 
 she assured me my rival might exercise horses 
 as long as he pleased, but that he should not set 
 his foot within her doors that night. 
 
 " I found the duke exactly in the place where 
 I had left him. I asked him a thousand pardons 
 for having made him wait so long, and thanked 
 him a thousand times for his complaisance. He 
 told me I jested, that such compliments were 
 unusual among friends ; and to convince me that 
 he had cordially rendered me this piece of service, 
 he would, by all means, hold my horse while I 
 was mounting. I returned him his cloak, bade 
 him good night, and went back to my lodgings, 
 equally satisfied with my mistress and my rival. 
 This," continued he, " proves that a little patience 
 and address are sufficient to disarm the anger of 
 the fair, to turn even their tricks to a man's ad- 
 vantage." 
 
 It was not in vain that the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont diverted the court with his stories, instructed 
 by his example, and never appeared there but to 
 inspire universal joy ; for a long time he was the 
 only foreigner in fashion. Fortune, jealous of the 
 justice which is done to merit, and desirous of 
 seeing all human happiness depend on her caprice, 
 raised up against him two competitors for the 
 pleasure he had long enjoyed of entertaining the 
 English court ; and these competitors were so 
 much the more dangerous, as the reputation of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 267 
 
 their several merits had preceded their arrival, 
 in order to dispose the suffrages of the court in 
 their favour. 
 
 They came to display, in their own persons, 
 whatever was the most accomplished either among 
 the men of the sword, or of the gown. The one 
 was the Marquis de Flamarens, 1 the sad object of 
 the sad elegies of the Countess de la Suse, 2 the 
 other was the President Tambonneau, the most 
 humble and most obedient servant and admirer 
 of the beauteous Luynes. As they arrived to- 
 gether, they exerted every endeavour to shine 
 in concert. Their talents were as different as 
 
 1 A Monsieur Flamarin, but whether the same person as here 
 described cannot be exactly ascertained, is mentioned, in Sydney's 
 letters, to have been in England at a later period than is com- 
 prehended in these " Memoirs." " Monsieur de Flamarin hath 
 been received at Windsor as seriously as if it had been believed 
 the Queen of Spain's marriage should not hold unless it were 
 here approved; and the formalities that are usual with men of 
 business having been observed to him, he is grown to think he 
 is so." — Sydney's Works, p. 94. 
 
 2 This lady was the daughter of Gaspar de Coligni, Marshal 
 of France, and was celebrated in her time for her wit and her 
 elegies. She was one of the few women with whom Christina, 
 Queen of Sweden, condescended to become intimate. Though 
 educated a Protestant, she embraced the Roman Catholic re- 
 ligion, less from a motive of devotion, than to have a pretence 
 for parting from her husband, who was a Protestant, and for 
 whom she had an invincible abhorrence; which occasioned the 
 queen to say: "The Countess of Suse became a Catholic, that 
 she might neither meet her husband in this world nor the next." 
 — See Lacombe's Life of Queen Christina. The countess died 
 in 1673. 
 
268 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 their persons. Tambonneau, 1 who was tolerably 
 ugly, founded his hopes upon a great store of wit, 
 which, however, no person in England could find 
 out ; and Flamarens, by his air and mien, courted 
 admiration, which was flatly denied him. 
 
 They had agreed mutually to assist each other, 
 in order to succeed in their intentions; and there- 
 fore, in their first visits, the one appeared in state, 
 and the other was the spokesman. But they found 
 the ladies in England of a far different taste from 
 those who had rendered them famous in France : 
 the rhetoric of the one had no effect on the fair 
 sex, and the fine mien of the other distinguished 
 him only in the minuet, which he first introduced 
 into England, and which he danced with tolerable 
 success. The English court had been too long 
 accustomed to the solid wit of Saint Evremond, 
 and the natural and singular charms of his hero, 
 to be seduced by appearances ; however, as the 
 English have, in general, a sort of predilection 
 in favour of anything that has the appearance of 
 bravery, Flamarens was better received on account 
 of a duel, which, obliging him to leave his own 
 country, was a recommendation to him in England. 
 
 Miss Hamilton had, at first, the honour of being 
 distinguished by Tambonneau, who thought she 
 possessed a sufficient share of wit to discover the 
 delicacy of his ; and, being delighted to find that 
 
 1 1 find this person mentioned in " Memoirs of the Court of 
 France," 8vo, 1702, part ii. p. 42. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 269 
 
 nothing was lost in her conversation, either as to 
 the turn, the expression, or beauty of the thought, 
 he frequently did her the favour to converse with 
 her ; and, perhaps, he would never have found out 
 that he was tiresome, if, contenting himself with 
 the display of his eloquence, he had not thought 
 proper to attack her heart. This was carrying 
 the matter a little too far for Miss Hamilton's com- 
 plaisance, who was of opinion that she had already 
 shown him too much for the tropes of his harangues. 
 He was therefore desired to try somewhere else the 
 experiment of his seducing tongue, and not to lose 
 the merit of his former constancy by an infidelity 
 which would be of no advantage to him. 
 
 He followed this advice like a wise and tract- 
 able man ; and some time after, returning to his 
 old mistress in France, he began to lay in a store 
 of politics for those important negotiations in 
 which he has since been employed. 
 
 It was not till after his departure that the 
 Chevalier de Grammont heard of the amorous 
 declaration he had made ; this was a confidence 
 of no great importance ; it, however, saved Tam- 
 bonneau from some ridicule which might have 
 fallen to his share before he went away. His 
 colleague, Flamarens, deprived of his support, 
 soon perceived that he was not likely to meet in 
 England with the success he had expected, both 
 from love and fortune ; but Lord Falmouth, ever 
 attentive to the glory of his master, in the relief 
 
270 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 of illustrious men in distress, provided for his 
 subsistence, and Lady Southesk for his pleasures ; 
 he obtained a pension from the king, and from 
 her everything he desired ; and most happy was 
 it for him that she had no other present to bestow 
 but that of her heart. 
 
 It was at this time that Talbot, whom we have 
 before mentioned, and who was afterward created 
 Duke of Tyrconnel, 1 fell in love with Miss Hamil- 
 ton. There was not a more genteel man at court ; 
 
 1 Richard Talbot, the fifth son " of an Irish family, but of 
 ancient English extraction, which had always inhabited within 
 that circle that was called the ' Pale,' which, being originally an 
 English plantation, was, in so many hundred years, for the most 
 part degenerated into the manners of the Irish, and rose and 
 mingled with them in the late rebellion ; and of this family there 
 were two distinct families, who had competent estates, and lived 
 in many descents in the rank of gentlemen of quality." Thus 
 far Lord Clarendon ; who adds, that Richard Talbot and his 
 " brothers were all the sons, or the grandsons, of one who was a 
 judge in Ireland, and esteemed a learned man." — Continuation 
 of Clarendon. Of the person now under consideration the same 
 writer appears, and with great reason, to have entertained a 
 very ill opinion. Dick Talbot, as he was called, " was brought 
 into Flanders first by Daniel O'Neile, as one who was willing to 
 assassinate Cromwell ; and he made a journey into England 
 with that resolution, not long before his death, and after it 
 returned into Flanders, ready to do all that he should be 
 required. He was a very handsome young man, wore good 
 clothes, and was, without doubt, of a clear, ready courage, which 
 was virtue enough to recommend a man to the duke's good 
 opinion ; which, with more expedition than could be expected, 
 he got, to that degree, that he was made of his bedchamber; 
 and from that qualification embarked himself, after the king's 
 return, in the pretences of the Irish, with such an unusual con- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 271 
 
 he was indeed but a younger brother, though of a 
 very ancient family, which, however, was not very 
 considerable either for its renown or its riches ; 
 and though he was naturally of a careless dispo- 
 sition, yet, being intent upon making his fortune, 
 and much in favour with the Duke of York, and 
 fortune likewise favouring him at play, he had im- 
 
 fidence, and, upon private contracts, with such scandalous 
 circumstances, that the chancellor had sometimes, at the 
 council-table, been obliged to give him severe reprehensions, 
 and often desired the duke to withdraw his countenance from 
 him." — Continuation of Clarendon. It is to be remembered 
 that he was one of the " men of honour " already noticed. On 
 King James's accession to the throne, he was created Earl of 
 Tyrconnel, and placed, as lieutenant-general, at the head of the 
 Irish army, where his conduct was so agreeable to his sovereign, 
 that he was, in 1689, advanced to the dignity of Duke of Tyr- 
 connel. He was afterward employed by the king in Ireland, 
 where his efforts were without effect. The Duke of Berwick 
 says : " His stature was above the ordinary size. He had great 
 experience of the world, having been early introduced into the 
 best company, and possessed of an honourable employment in 
 the household of the Duke of York ; who, upon his succession 
 to the crown, raised him to the dignity of an earl, and, well 
 knowing his zeal and attachment, made him soon after Viceroy 
 of Ireland. He was a man of very good sense, very obliging, 
 but immoderately vain, and full of cunning. Though he had 
 acquired great possessions, it could not be said that he had 
 employed improper means ; for he never appeared to have a 
 passion for money. He had not a military genius, but much 
 courage. After the Prince of Orange's invasion, his firmness 
 preserved Ireland, and he nobly refused all the offers that were 
 made to induce him to submit. From the time of the battle of 
 the Boyne, he sank prodigiously, being become as irresolute in 
 his mind as unwieldy in his person." — Memoirs, vol. i. p. 94. 
 He died at Limerick, 5th August, 1691. 
 
272 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 proved both so well that he was in possession of 
 about forty thousand pounds a year in land. He 
 offered himself to Miss Hamilton, with this for- 
 tune, together with the almost certain hopes of 
 being made a peer of the realm, by his master's 
 credit ; and, over and above all, as many sacrifices 
 as she could desire of Lady Shrewsbury's letters, 
 pictures, and hair ; curiosities which, indeed, are 
 reckoned for nothing in housekeeping, but which 
 testify strongly in favour of the sincerity and 
 merit of a lover. 
 
 Such a rival was not to be despised ; and the 
 Chevalier de Grammont thought him the more 
 dangerous, as he perceived that Talbot was des- 
 perately in love ; that he was not a man to be 
 discouraged by a first repulse ; that he had too 
 much sense and good breeding to draw upon him- 
 self either contempt or coldness by too great 
 eagerness ; and, besides this, his brothers began 
 to frequent the house. One of these brothers 
 was almoner to the queen, 1 an intriguing Jesuit, 
 and a great match-maker ; the other was what was 
 called a lay monk, 2 who had nothing of his order 
 but the immorality and infamy of character which 
 
 1 This was Peter Talbot, whose character is drawn by Lord 
 Clarendon in terms not more favourable than those in which his 
 brother is portrayed. — See Continuation of Clarendon, p. 363. 
 
 2 Thomas Talbot, a Franciscan friar, of wit enough, says Lord 
 Clarendon, but of notorious debauchery. More particulars of 
 this man may be found in the same noble historian. — See Con- 
 tinuation of Clarendon, p. 363. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 273 
 
 is ascribed to them, and withal, frank and free, and 
 sometimes entertaining, but ever ready to speak 
 bold and offensive truths, and to do good offices. 
 
 When the Chevalier de Grammont reflected 
 upon all these things, there certainly was strong 
 ground for uneasiness. Nor was the indifference 
 which Miss Hamilton showed for the addresses 
 of his rival sufficient to remove hfs fears ; for, 
 being absolutely dependent on her father's will, 
 she could only answer for her own intentions. 
 But Fortune, who seemed to have taken him 
 under her protection in England, now delivered 
 him from all his uneasiness. 
 
 Talbot had for many years stood forward as the 
 patron of the distressed Irish. This zeal for his 
 countrymen was certainly very commendable in 
 itself ; at the same time, however, it was not alto- 
 gether free from self-interest, for, out of all the 
 estates he had, through his credit, procured the 
 restoration of to their primitive owners, he had 
 always obtained some small compensation for him- 
 self ; but, as each owner found his advantage in it, 
 no complaint was made. Nevertheless, as it is 
 very difficult to use fortune and favour with 
 moderation, and not to swell with the gales of 
 prosperity, some of his proceedings had an air of 
 haughtiness and independence which offended the 
 Duke of Ormond, 1 then Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, 
 
 1 A very exact account of this transaction is given by Lord 
 Clarendon, by which it appears that Talbot was committed to 
 
 v 
 
274 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 as injurious to his Grace's authority. The duke 
 resented this behaviour with great spirit. As 
 there certainly was a great difference between 
 them, both as to their birth and rank, and to 
 their credit, it had been prudent in Talbot to 
 have had recourse to apologies and submission ; 
 but such conduct appeared to him base, and un- 
 worthy for a man of his importance to submit 
 to; he accordingly acted with haughtiness and 
 insolence. But he was soon convinced of his 
 error, for, having inconsiderately launched out 
 into some arrogant expressions which it neither 
 became him to utter nor the Duke of Ormond 
 to forgive, he was sent prisoner to the Tower, 
 from whence he could not be released until he 
 had made all necessary submissions to his Grace. 
 He therefore employed all his friends for that pur- 
 pose, and was obliged to yield more to get out of 
 this scrape than would have been necessary to 
 have avoided it. By this imprudent conduct he 
 lost all hopes of marrying into a family, which, 
 after such a proceeding, was not likely to listen 
 to any proposals from him. 
 
 It was with great difficulty and mortification 
 that he was obliged to suppress a passion which 
 had made far greater progress in his heart than 
 this quarrel had done good to his affairs. This 
 being the case, he was of opinion that his presence 
 
 the Tower for threatening to assassinate the Duke of Ormond 
 — Continuation of Clarendon, p. 362. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 275 
 
 was necessary in Ireland, and that he was better 
 out of the way of Miss Hamilton, to remove those 
 impressions which still troubled his repose ; his 
 departure, therefore, soon followed this resolution. 
 Talbot played deep, and was tolerably forgetful. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont won three or four 
 hundred guineas of him the very evening on which 
 he was sent to the Tower. That accident had 
 made him forget his usual punctuality in paying 
 the next morning whatever he had lost overnight ; 
 and this debt had so far escaped his memory, that 
 it never once occurred to him after he was en- 
 larged. The Chevalier de Grammont, who saw 
 him at his departure, without taking the least 
 notice of the money he owed him, wished him a 
 good journey ; and having met him at court, as he 
 came to take his leave of the king, " Talbot," said 
 he, " if my services can be of any use to you dur- 
 ing your absence, you have but to command them. 
 You know old Russell has left his nephew as his 
 resident with Miss Hamilton ; if you please, I will 
 act for you in the same capacity. Adieu, God 
 bless you. Be sure not to fall sick upon the road ; 
 but if you should, pray remember me in your 
 will." Talbot, who, upon this compliment, imme- 
 diately recollected the money he owed the chev- 
 alier, burst out a-laughing, and embracing him. 
 " My dear chevalier," said he, " I am so much 
 obliged to you for your offer, that I resign you my 
 mistress, and will send you your money instantly." 
 
276 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont possessed a thousand 
 of these genteel ways of refreshing the memories 
 of those persons who were apt to be forgetful in 
 their payments. The following is the method he 
 used some years after with Lord Cornwallis. 1 This 
 lord had married the daughter of Sir Stephen 
 Fox, 2 treasurer of the king's household, one of the 
 richest and most regular men in England. His 
 son-in-law, on the contrary, was a young spend- 
 thrift, was very extravagant, loved gaming, lost as 
 
 'Charles, the third Lord Cornwallis, born in 1655. * He mar- 
 ried, December 27, 1673, Elizabeth, the eldest daughter of Sir 
 Stephen Fox, knight, and afterward, in 1688, the widow of the 
 Duke of Monmouth. Lord Cornwallis died April 29, 1698. 
 
 2 This gentleman is said to have been of a genteel family, 
 settled at Farley, in Wiltshire, and was the architect of his own 
 fortune. Lord Clarendon says, in his " History of the Rebel- 
 lion," that he was entertained by Lord Percy, then lord chamber- 
 lain of the king's household, at Paris, about the year 1652, and 
 continued in his Majesty's service until the Restoration. On 
 that event he was made clerk of the green cloth, and afterward 
 paymaster-general of the forces in England. On the 1st July, 
 1665, he was knighted. In 1680, he was constituted one of the 
 lords commissioners of the treasury. On the accession of James 
 II., he was continued first clerk of the green cloth ; and in 
 December, 1686, was again appointed one of the commissioners 
 of the treasury. At the revolution he concurred in voting the 
 throne vacant ; and, on 19th March, 1689, was a third time ap- 
 pointed to the treasury, which place he held until he retired from 
 public business, in 170 1. By his first lady he had seven sons 
 and three daughters ; and by his second, whom he married in the 
 year 1703, when he was seventy-six years of age, he had two 
 sons, who both afterward became peers, — Stephen, Earl of 
 Ilchester, and Henry, Lord Holland, — and two daughters. He 
 died in the year 17 16, at Chiswick, in his eighty-ninth year. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 277 
 
 much as any one would trust him, but was not 
 quite so ready at paying. His father-in-law dis- 
 approved of his conduct, paid his debts, and gave 
 him a lecture at the same time. The Chevalier 
 de Grammont had won of him a thousand or twelve 
 hundred guineas, which he heard no tidings of, 
 although he was upon the eve of his departure, 
 and he had taken leave of Cornwallis in a more 
 particular manner than any other person. This 
 obliged the chevalier to write him a billet, which 
 was rather laconic. It was this : 
 
 " My Lord : — Pray remember the Count de 
 Grammont, and do not forget Sir Stephen Fox." 
 
 To return to Talbot. He went away more con- 
 cerned than became a man who had voluntarily 
 resigned his mistress to another. Neither his stay 
 in Ireland, nor his solicitude about his domestic 
 affairs, perfectly cured him ; and if at his return he 
 found himself disengaged from Miss Hamilton's 
 chains, it was only to exchange them for others. 
 The alteration that had taken place in the two 
 courts occasioned this change in him, as we shall 
 see in the sequel. 
 
 We have hitherto only mentioned the queen's 
 maids of honour, upon account of Miss Stewart 
 and Miss Warmestre ; the others were Miss Bel- 
 lenden, Mile, de la Garde, and Mile. Bardou, all 
 maids of honour, as it pleased God. 
 
278 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Miss Bellenden was no beauty, but was a good- 
 natured girl, whose chief merit consisted in being 
 plump and fresh-coloured, and who, not having 
 a sufficient stock of wit to be a coquette in form, 
 used all her endeavours to please every person by 
 her complaisance. Mile, de la Garde, and Mile. 
 Bardou, both French, had been preferred to their 
 places by the queen dowager. The first was a 
 little brunette, who was continually meddling in 
 the affairs of her companions, and the other by 
 all means claimed the rank of a maid of honour, 
 though she only lodged with the others, and 
 both her title and services were constantly 
 contested. 
 
 It was hardly possible for a woman to be more 
 ugly, with so fine a shape ; but as a recompense, 
 her ugliness was set off with every art. The use 
 she was put to was to dance with Flamarens, and 
 sometimes, toward the conclusion of a ball, pos- 
 sessed of castanets and effrontery, she would 
 dance some figured saraband or other, which 
 amused the court. Let us now see in what 
 manner this ended. 
 
 As Miss Stewart was very seldom in waiting 
 on the queen, she was scarcely considered as a 
 maid of honour ; the others went off almost at the 
 same time, by different adventures, and this is the 
 history of Miss Warmestre, whom we have before 
 mentioned, when speaking of the Chevalier de 
 Grammont. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 279 
 
 Lord Taaffe, eldest son of the Earl of Car- 
 lingford, 1 was supposed to be in love with her ; 
 and Miss Warmestre not only imagined it was 
 so, but likewise persuaded herself that he would 
 not fail to marry her the first opportunity ; and in 
 the meantime she thought it her duty to enter- 
 tain him with all the civility imaginable. Taaffe 
 had made the Duke of Richmond 2 his confidant. 
 These two were particularly attached to each 
 other, but still more so to wine. The Duke of 
 Richmond, notwithstanding his birth, made but an 
 
 1 Nicholas, the third Viscount Taaffe, and second Earl of 
 Carlingford. He was of the Privy Council to King James II., 
 and, in 1689, went as envoy to the Emperor Leopold. He lost 
 his life the next year, 1st July, at the battle of the Boyne, com- 
 manding at that time a regiment of foot. This nobleman, al- 
 though he succeeded his father in his title, was not his eldest 
 son. King Charles appears to have had a great regard for the 
 family. In a letter from Lord Arlington to Sir Richard Fan- 
 shaw, dated April 21, 1664, that nobleman says: "Col. Luke 
 Taaffe (a brother of my Lord Carlingford's) hath served his 
 Catholic Majesty many years in the state of Milan, with a stand- 
 ing regiment there ; which regiment he desires now to deliver 
 over to Capt. Nicholas Taaffe, a younger son of my Lord 
 Carlingford's, and the colonel's nephew, who is now a captain of 
 the regiment; and His Majesty commands me to recommend to 
 your Excellency the bringing this to pass, for the affection he 
 hath to the family, and the merit of this young gentleman." — 
 Arlington's Letters, vol. ii. p. 21. 
 
 1 Charles Stewart, Duke of Richmond and Lennox. He was 
 afterward sent ambassador to Denmark, and died at Elsinore, 
 December 12, 1672. Burnet says he " was sent to give a lustre 
 to the negotiation, which was chiefly managed by Mr. Henshaw." 
 — History 0/ his Own Times, vol. i. p. 425. 
 
2 So COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 indifferent figure at court, and the king respected 
 him still less than his courtiers did ; and perhaps 
 it was in order to court His Majesty's favour that 
 he thought proper to fall in love with Miss 
 Stewart. The duke and Lord Taaffe made each 
 other the confidants of their respective engage- 
 ments ; and these were the measures they took to 
 put their designs in execution. Little Mile, de la 
 Garde ' was charged to acquaint Miss Stewart that 
 the Duke of Richmond was dying of love for her, 
 and that when he ogled her in public it was a cer- 
 tain sign that he was ready to marry her, as soon 
 as ever she would consent. 
 
 Taaffe had no commission to give the little am- 
 bassadress for Miss Warmestre, for there every- 
 thing was already arranged ; but she was charged 
 to settle and provide some conveniences which 
 were still wanting for the freedom of their com- 
 merce, such as to have free egress and regress to 
 her at all hours of the day or night ; this appeared 
 difficult to be obtained, but it was, however, at 
 length accomplished. 
 
 The governess of the maids of honour, who for 
 the world would not have connived at anything 
 
 1 Daughter of Charles Peliot, Lord de la Garde, whose eldest 
 daughter married Sir Thomas Bond, comptroller of the house- 
 hold to the queen-mother. Sir Thomas Bond had a considerable 
 estate at Peckham, and his second son married the niece of Jer- 
 myn, one df the heroes of these " Memoirs." — See " Collins's 
 Baronetage," vol. hi. p. 4. She became the wife of Sir Gabriel 
 Silvius, and died 13th October, 1730. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 281 
 
 that was not fair and honourable, consented that 
 they should sup as often as they pleased in Miss 
 Warmestre's apartments, provided their intentions 
 were honourable, and she one of the company. 
 The good old lady was particularly fond of green 
 oysters, and had no aversion to Spanish wine : she 
 was certain of finding at every one of these sup- 
 pers two barrels of oysters ; one to be eaten with 
 the party, and the other for her to carry away ; as 
 soon, therefore, as she had taken her dose of wine, 
 she took her leave of the company. 
 
 It was much about the time that the Chevalier 
 de Grammont had cast his eyes upon Miss War- 
 mestre, that this kind of life was led in her cham- 
 ber. God knows how many ham pies, bottles of 
 wine, and other products of his lordship's liberality 
 were there consumed ! 
 
 In the midst of these nocturnal festivals, and of 
 this innocent commerce, a relation of Killegrew's 
 came up to London about a lawsuit ; he gained 
 his cause, but nearly lost his senses. 
 
 He was a country gentleman, who had been a 
 widower about six months, and was possessed of 
 fifteen or sixteen thousand pounds a year. The 
 good man, who had no business at court, went 
 thither merely to see his cousin Killegrew, who 
 could have dispensed with his visits. He there 
 saw Miss Warmestre, and at first sight fell in love 
 with her. His passion increased to such a degree 
 that, having no rest either by day or by night, he 
 
282 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 was obliged to have recourse to extraordinary rem- 
 edies ; he therefore, early one morning, called upon 
 his cousin Killegrew, told him his case, and de- 
 sired him to demand Miss Warmestre in marriage 
 for him. 
 
 Killegrew was struck with wonder and astonish- 
 ment when he heard his design, nor could he cease 
 wondering at what sort of creature, of all the 
 women in London, his cousin had resolved upon 
 marrying. It was some time before Killegrew 
 could believe that he was in earnest ; but when he 
 was convinced that he was, he began to enumerate 
 the dangers and inconveniences attending so rash 
 an enterprise. He told him that a girl educated 
 at court was a terrible piece of furniture for the 
 country ; that to carry her thither against her in- 
 clination would as effectually rob him of his hap- 
 piness and repose as if he was transported to hell ; 
 that if he consented to let her stay, he needed only 
 to compute what it would cost him in equipage, 
 table, clothes, and gaming-money, to maintain her 
 in London according to her caprices, and then to 
 cast up how long his fifteen thousand a year would 
 last. 
 
 His cousin had already formed this computa- 
 tion, but, finding his reason less potent than his 
 love, he remained fixed in his resolution ; and 
 Killegrew, yielding at length to his importunities, 
 went and offered his cousin, bound hand and foot, 
 to the victorious fair. As he dreaded nothing 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 283 
 
 more than a compliance on her part, so nothing 
 could astonish him more than the contempt with 
 which she received his proposal. The scorn with 
 which she refused him, made him believe that she 
 was sure of Lord Taaffe, and wonder how a girl 
 like her could find out two men who would ven- 
 ture to marry her. He hastened to relate this 
 refusal, with all the most aggravating circum- 
 stances, as the best news he could carry to his 
 cousin. But his cousin would not believe him ; he 
 supposed that Killegrew disguised the truth, for 
 the same reasons he had already alleged, and not 
 daring to mention the matter any more to him, he 
 resolved to wait upon her himself. He summoned 
 all his courage for the enterprise, and got his com- 
 pliment by heart ; but as soon as he had opened 
 his mouth for the purpose, she told him he might 
 have saved himself the trouble of calling on her 
 about such a ridiculous affair ; that she had al- 
 ready given her answer to Killegrew; and that 
 she neither had, nor ever should have, any other 
 to give; which words she accompanied with all 
 the severity with which importunate demands are 
 usually refused. 
 
 He was more affected than confounded at this 
 repulse ; everything became odious to him in Lon- 
 don, and he himself more so than all the rest ; he 
 therefore left town, without taking leave of his 
 cousin, went back to his country-seat, and thinking 
 it would be impossible for him to live without the 
 
284 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 inhuman fair, he resolved to neglect no opportunity 
 in his power to hasten his death. 
 
 But whilst, in order to indulge his sorrow, he 
 had forsaken all intercourse with dogs and horses, 
 that is to say, renounced all the delights and en- 
 dearments of a country squire, the scornful nymph, 
 who was certainly mistaken in her reckoning, took 
 the liberty of being brought to bed in the face 
 of the whole court. 
 
 An adventure so public made no small noise, as 
 we may very well imagine. All the prudes at court 
 at once broke loose upon it ; and those principally, 
 whose age or persons secured them from any such 
 scandal, were the most inveterate, and cried most 
 loudly for justice. But the governess of the maids 
 of honour, who might have been called to an ac- 
 count for it, affirmed that it was nothing at all, 
 and that she was possessed of circumstances which 
 would at once silence all censorious tongues. She 
 had an audience of the queen, in order to unfold 
 the mystery ; and related to Her Majesty how 
 everything had passed with her consent, that is to 
 say, upon honourable terms. 
 
 The queen sent to inquire of Lord Taaffe, 
 whether he acknowledged Miss Warmestre for his 
 wife ; to which he most respectfully returned for 
 answer, that he neither acknowledged Miss War- 
 mestre nor her child, and that he wondered why 
 she should rather father it upon him than any 
 other. The unfortunate Warmestre, more enraged 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 285 
 
 at this answer than at the loss of such a lover, 
 quitted the court as soon as ever she was able, 
 with a resolution of quitting the world the first 
 opportunity. 
 
 Killegrew, being upon the point of setting out 
 upon a journey when this adventure happened, 
 thought he might as well call upon his afflicted 
 cousin in his way, to acquaint him with the cir- 
 cumstance ; and as soon as he saw him, without 
 paying any attention to the delicacy of his love, or 
 to his feelings, he bluntly told him the whole story : 
 nor did he omit any colouring that could heighten 
 his indignation, in order to make him burst with 
 shame and resentment. 
 
 We read that the gentle Tiridates quietly ex- 
 pired upon the recital of the death of Marianne ; 
 but Killegrew' s fond cousin, falling devoutly upon 
 his knees, and lifting up his eyes to heaven, 
 poured forth this exclamation : 
 
 " Praised be the Lord for a small misfortune, 
 which perhaps may prove the comfort of my life ! 
 Who knows but the beauteous Warmestre will 
 now accept of me for a husband ; and that I may 
 have the happiness of passing the remainder of 
 my days with a woman I adore, and by whom I 
 may expect to have heirs ? " " Certainly," said 
 Killegrew, more confounded than his cousin ought 
 to have been on such an occasion, "you may de- 
 pend upon having both ; I make no manner of 
 doubt but she will marry you as soon as ever she 
 
286 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 is recovered from her lying-in ; and it would be a 
 great ill-nature in her, who already knows the way, 
 to let you want children ; however, in the mean- 
 time, I advise you to take that she has already, till 
 you get more." 
 
 Notwithstanding this raillery, all that was said did 
 take place. This faithful lover courted her, as if 
 she had been the chaste Lucretia, or the beauteous 
 Helen ; his passion even increased after marriage, 
 and the generous fair, first out of gratitude, and 
 afterward through inclination, never brought him 
 a child of which he was not the father ; and 
 though there have been many a happy couple 
 in England, this certainly was the happiest. 
 
 Some time after, Miss Bellenden, not being terri- 
 fied by this example, had the prudence to quit the 
 court before she was obliged so to do ; the dis- 
 agreeable Bardou followed her soon after, but for 
 different reasons. Every person was at last com- 
 pletely tired of her saraband, as well as of her 
 face ; and the king, that he might see neither of 
 them any more, gave each a small pension for her 
 subsistence. There now only remained little Mile. 
 de la Garde to be provided for. Neither her vir- 
 tues nor her vices were sufficiently conspicuous to 
 occasion her being either dismissed from court or 
 pressed to remain there. God knows what would 
 have become of her, if a Mr. Silvius, 1 a man who 
 
 1 Afterward Sir Gabriel Silvius. In Chamberlayne's " An- 
 gliae Notitia," 1669, Gabriel de Sylviis is put down as one of the 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 287 
 
 had nothing of a Roman in him except the name, 
 had not taken the poor girl to be his wife. 
 
 We have now shown how all these damsels 
 deserved to be expelled, either for their irregular- 
 ities, or for their ugliness ; and yet, those who 
 replaced them found means to make them re- 
 gretted, Miss Wells only excepted. 
 
 She was a tall girl, exquisitely shaped ; she 
 dressed very genteel, walked like a goddess ; and 
 yet, her face, though made like those that gener- 
 ally please the most, was unfortunately one of 
 those that pleased the least. Nature had spread 
 over it a certain careless indolence that made her 
 look sheepish. This gave but a bad opinion of 
 her wit, and her wit had the ill-luck to make 
 good that opinion ; however, as she was fresh 
 coloured, and appeared inexperienced, the king, 
 whom the fair Stewart did not render over nice as 
 to the perfections of the mind, esolved to try 
 whether the senses would not fare better with 
 Miss Wells's person than fine sentiments with her 
 understanding. Nor was this experiment attended 
 with much difficulty ; she was of a loyal family ; 
 and her father having faithfully served Charles 
 
 carvers to the queen, and Mrs. de Sylviis, one of the six cham- 
 briers or dressers to the queen. He was afterward knighted, 
 and, 30th February, 1680, was sent ambassador to the Dukes of 
 Brunswick and Lunenburgh. Lord Orford says he was a native 
 of Orange, and was attached to the process royal, afterward to 
 the Duke of York. He also says he was sent ambassador to 
 Denmark. 
 
288 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the First, she thought it her duty not to revolt 
 against Charles the Second. But this connection 
 was not attended with very advantageous circum- 
 stances for herself ; some pretended that she did 
 not hold out long enough, and that she surrendered 
 at discretion before she was vigorously attacked ; 
 and others said, that his Majesty complained of cer- 
 tain other facilities still less pleasing. The Duke 
 of Buckingham made a couplet upon this occasion, 
 wherein the king, speaking to Progers, the confi- 
 dant of his intrigues, puns upon the name of the 
 fair one, to the following purport : 
 
 " When the king felt the horrible depth of this Well, 
 Tell me, Progers, 1 cried Charlie, where am I ? oh, tell ! 
 Had I sought the world's centre to find, I had found it, 
 But this Well ! ne'er a plummet was made that could sound 
 it" 
 
 1 Edward Progers, Esq., was a younger son of Philip Progers, 
 Esq., of the family of Garreddin, in Monmouthshire. His father 
 was a colonel in the army, and equerry to James I. Edward 
 was early introduced to court, and, after having been page to 
 Charles I., was made groom of the bedchamber to his son, while 
 Prince of Wales, jle attached himself to the king's interest 
 during the war with the Parliament, with laudable fidelity. The 
 following letter, from which antiquaries may derive the minute 
 information that Charles II. did wear mourning for a whole 
 year, for his father, serves to show the familiar style which 
 Charles used to Progers, as well as his straitened circumstances 
 while in the island of Jersey : 
 
 " Progers, I wold have you (besides the embroidred sute) 
 bring me a plaine ridding suite, with an innocent coate, the suites 
 I have for horsebacke being so spotted and spoiled that they are 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 289 
 
 Miss Wells, notwithstanding this species of ana- 
 gram upon her name, and these remarks upon her 
 person, shone the brightest among her new com- 
 panions. These were Miss Levingston, Miss 
 Fielding, and Miss Boynton, who little deserve to 
 be mentioned in these memoirs ; therefore we 
 shall leave them in obscurity until it please for- 
 tune to draw them out of it. 
 
 This was the new establishment of maids of 
 honour to the queen. The Duchess of York, 
 nearly about the same time, likewise recruited 
 hers ; but showed, by a happier and more brilliant 
 choice, that England possessed an inexhaustible 
 stock of beauties. But before we begin to speak 
 of them, let us see who were the first maids of 
 
 not to be seene out of this island. The lining of the coate, and 
 the petit toies are referred to your greate discretion, provided 
 there want nothing when it comes to be put on. I doe not 
 remember there was a belt, or a hat-band, in your directions for 
 the embroidred suite, and those are so necessarie as you must 
 not forget them. 
 
 "Jearsey, 14th Jan. old stile, 1649. Charles R. 
 
 " For Mr. Progers." 
 
 By a letter from Cowley to Henry Bennet, dated 18th No- 
 vember, 1650, Mr. Progers appears to have been then active in 
 his master's service. — Brown's Miscellanea Aulica, 1702, p. 153. 
 In the lampoons of the times, particularly in those of Andrew 
 Marvell, Mr. Progers is described as one devoted to assist his 
 master's pleasures ; for which reason, perhaps, he was banished 
 from the king's presence in 1650, by an act of the estates of 
 Scotland, " as an evil instrument and bad counsellor of the 
 king." He is said to have obtained several grants to take effect 
 upon the Restoration; but it does not appear that they took 
 
290 COUNT DE GRAMMON1 
 
 honour to her Royal Highness, and on what 
 account they were removed. 
 
 Besides Miss Blague and Miss Price, whom we 
 have before mentioned, the establishment was 
 composed of Miss Bagot and Miss Hobart, the 
 president of the community. 
 
 Miss Blague, who never knew the true reason 
 of her quarrel with the Marquis de Brisacier, 
 took it up upon that fatal letter she had received 
 from him, wherein, without acquainting her that 
 Miss Price was to wear the same sort of gloves 
 and yellow riband as herself, he had only compli- 
 mented her upon her hair, her fair complexion, 
 and her eyes marcassins. This word she imagined 
 must signify something particularly wonderful, 
 
 effect. In 1660, he was named, says Lord Orford, one of the 
 Knights of the Royal Oak, an order the king then intended to in- 
 stitute. By the same authority we are informed that he had per- 
 mission from the king to build a house in Bushy Park, near 
 Hampton Court, on condition that, after his death, it should 
 revert to the Crown. This was the house inhabited by the late 
 Earl of Halifax. He represented the county of Brecon in Par- 
 liament for seventeen years, but retired in 1679. On the death 
 of his master he retired from public life. Mr. Progers died, says 
 Le Neve, "December 31st, or January 1, 1713, aged ninety-six, 
 of the anguish of cutting teeth, he having cut four new teeth, 
 and had several ready to cut, which so inflamed his gums that he 
 died thereof." He was in low circumstances before his death, 
 and applied to King James for relief, with what effect is not 
 known. Mr. Progers had a family by his wife, Elizabeth Wells ; 
 and the scandal-bearers of the time remarked, that his eldest 
 daughter, Philippa, afterward Mrs. Croxel, bore a strong resem- 
 blance to Charles II. — Monumenta Atiglicana, 17 17, p. 273. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 291 
 
 since her eyes were compared to it ; and being 
 desirous, some time afterward, to know all the 
 energy of the expression, she asked the meaning 
 of the French word marcassin. As there are no 
 wild boars in England, those to whom she ad- 
 dressed herself told her that it signified a young 
 pig. This scandalous simile confirmed her in 
 the belief she entertained of his perfidy. Brisa- 
 cier, more amazed at her change than she was 
 offended at his supposed calumny, looked upon 
 her as a woman still more capricious than insignifi- 
 cant, and never troubled himself more about her ; 
 but Sir Yarborough, of as fair a complex- 
 ion as herself, made her an offer of marriage in 
 the height of her resentment, and was accepted. 
 Chance made up this match, I suppose, as an 
 experiment to try what such a white-haired union 
 would produce. 
 
 Miss Price was witty ; and as her person was 
 not very likely to attract many admirers, which, 
 however, she was resolved to have, she was far 
 from being coy when an occasion offered : she did 
 not so much as make any terms ; she was violent 
 in her resentments, as well as in her attachments, 
 which had exposed her to some inconveniences ; 
 and she had very indiscreetly quarrelled with a 
 young girl whom Lord Rochester admired. This 
 connection, which till then had been a secret, she 
 had the imprudence to publish to the whole world, 
 and thereby drew upon herself the most dangerous 
 
292 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 enemy in the universe. Never did any man write 
 with more ease, humour, spirit, and delicacy ; but 
 he was at the same time the most severe satirist. 
 
 Poor Miss Price, who had thus voluntarily pro- 
 voked his resentment, was daily exposed in some 
 new shape ; there was every day some new song 
 or other, the subject of which was her conduct, 
 and the burden her name. How was it possible 
 for her to bear up against these attacks, in a court 
 where every person was eager to obtain the most 
 insignificant trifle that came from the pen of Lord 
 Rochester ? The loss of her lover, and the dis- 
 covery that attended it, was only wanting to com- 
 plete the persecution that was raised against her. 
 
 About this time died Dongan, 1 a gentleman of 
 merit, who was succeeded by Durfort, afterward 
 Earl of Feversham, 2 in the post of lieutenant of 
 
 1 The only notice of this person I have anywhere seen, is in 
 the following extract of a letter from Sir Richard Fanshaw to 
 Lord Arlington, dated 4th June, 1664: "I ought not, in justice 
 to an honourable person, to conclude before I acquaint your 
 Honour, that I have this day seen a letter, whereby it is certified, 
 from my Lord Dongan (now at Heres), that, if there were any 
 ship in Cadiz bound for Tangier, he would go over in her, to do 
 his Majesty what service he could in that garrison ; which, he 
 saith, he fears wants good officers very much." — Fanskaw's 
 Letters, vol. i. p. 194. 
 
 2 Louis de Duras, Earl of Feversham, a native of France, be- 
 ing son of the Duke de Duras, and brother to the last duke of 
 that name, as also to the Duke de Lorge. His mother was 
 sister to the great Turenne, of the princely house of Bouillon. 
 After the Restoration he came to England, was naturalised, and 
 behaved with great gallantry in the sea-fight with the Dutch, in 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 293 
 
 the duke's life-guards. Miss Price having tenderly 
 loved him, his death plunged her into a gulf of 
 despair ; but the inventory of his effects had 
 almost deprived her of her senses. There was in 
 it a certain little box sealed up on all sides ; it 
 was addressed in the deceased's own handwriting, 
 to Miss Price, but instead of receiving it, she had 
 not even the courage to look upon it. The gov- 
 erness thought it became her in prudence to re- 
 ceive it, on Miss Price's refusal, and her duty to 
 deliver it to the duchess herself, supposing it was 
 filled with many curious and precious commodities, 
 of which, perhaps, she might make some advan- 
 tage. Though the duchess was not altogether of 
 the same opinion, she had the curiosity to see 
 
 1665. When he first came to England, he bore the name of 
 Durfort, and the title of Marquis of Blancfort. In the 24th 
 Charles II., he was created Baron Duras of Holdenby, in the 
 county of Northampton ; and, having married Mary, the eldest 
 daughter and co-heir of Sir George Sondes, of Lees Court, in the 
 county of Kent, who had been created Earl of Feversham, the 
 same title was limited to him, and he succeeded to it on the death 
 of his father-in-law. Besides these honours, King Charles pre- 
 ferred him to the command of the third troop of horse-guards, 
 afterward promoted him to the second, and then to the first. In 
 1679, fte was made master of the horse to Queen Katherine, and 
 afterward lord chamberlain to her Majesty. Upon King James's 
 accession he was admitted into the Privy Council, and was com- 
 mander-in-chief of the forces sent against the Duke of Mon- 
 mouth. After the revolution, he continued lord chamberlain to 
 the queen dowager, and master of the royal college of St. 
 Katherine's, near the Tower. He died April 8, 1709, aged 68, 
 and was buried in the Savoy, in the Strand, London ; but re 
 moved, March 21, 1740, to Westminster Abbey. 
 
294 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 what was contained in a box sealed up in a 
 manner so particularly careful, and therefore 
 caused it to be opened in the presence of some 
 ladies, who happened then to be in her closet. 
 
 All kinds of love trinkets were found in it, and 
 all these favours, it appeared, came from the 
 tender-hearted Miss Price. It was difficult to 
 comprehend how a single person could have fur- 
 nished so great a collection ; for, besides counting 
 the pictures, there was hair of all descriptions, 
 wrought into bracelets, lockets, and into a thou- 
 sand other different devices, wonderful to see. 
 After these were three or four packets of letters, 
 of so tender a nature, and so full of raptures and 
 languors so naturally expressed, that the duchess 
 could not endure the reading of any more than 
 the two first. 
 
 Her Royal Highness was sorry that she had 
 caused the box to be opened in such good com- 
 pany, for, being before such witnesses, she rightly 
 judged it was impossible to stifle this adventure; 
 and, at the same time, there being no possibility 
 of retaining any longer such a maid of honour, 
 Miss Price had her valuables restored to her, with 
 "orders to go and finish her lamentations, or to 
 console herself for the loss of her lover, in some 
 other place. 
 
 Miss Hobart's character was at that time as 
 uncommon in England, as her person was singu- 
 lar, in a country where to be young, and not to be 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 295 
 
 in some degree handsome, is a reproach. She had 
 a good shape, rather a bold air, and a great deal of 
 wit, which was well cultivated, without having 
 much discretion. She was likewise possessed of 
 a great deal of vivacity, with an irregular fancy. 
 There was a great deal of fire in her eyes, which, 
 however, produced no effect upon the beholders, 
 and she had a tender heart, whose sensibility some 
 pretended was alone in favour of the fair sex. 
 
 Miss Bagot * was the first that gained her 
 tenderness and affection, which she returned at 
 first with equal warmth and sincerity ; but per- 
 
 1 Elizabeth, daughter of Hervey Bagot, second son of Sir 
 Hervey Bagot. She married first Charles Berkley, Earl of Fal- 
 mouth, and, after his death, Charles Sackville, who became the 
 first Duke of Dorset. From the pen of a satirist much depend- 
 ence is not to be placed for the truth of facts. This lady's 
 character is treated by Dryden and Mulgrave with very little 
 respect, in the following lines, extracted from " The Essay on 
 Satire:" 
 
 " Thus Dorset, purring like a thoughtful cat, 
 Married ; but wiser puss ne'er thought of that 
 And first he worried her with railing rhyme, 
 Like Pembroke's mastiffs at his kindest time 
 Then for one night sold all his slavish life, 
 A teeming widow, but a barren wife ; 
 Swell'd by contact of such a fulsome toad, 
 He lugged about the matrimonial load ; 
 Till fortune, blindly kind as well as he, 
 Has ill restored him to his liberty ; 
 Which he would use in his old sneaking way, 
 Drinking all night, and dozing all the day; 
 Dull as Ned Howard, whom his brisker times 
 Had famed for dulness in malicious rhymes," 
 
296 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ceiving that all her friendship was insufficient to 
 repay that of Miss Hobart, she yielded the con- 
 quest to the governess's niece, who thought her- 
 self as much honoured by it as her aunt thought 
 herself obliged by the care she took of the young 
 girl. 
 
 It was not long before the report, whether true 
 or false, of this singularity, spread through the 
 whole court, where people, being yet so uncivilised 
 as never to have heard of that kind of refinement 
 in love of ancient Greece, imagined that the illus- 
 trious Hobart, who seemed so particularly attached 
 to the fair sex, was in reality something more than 
 she appeared to be. 
 
 Satirical ballads soon began to compliment her 
 upon these new attributes ; and upon the insinua- 
 tions that were therein made, her companions 
 began to fear her. The governess, alarmed at 
 these reports, consulted Lord Rochester upon the 
 danger to which her niece was exposed. She 
 could not have applied to a fitter person ; he 
 immediately advised her to take her niece out of 
 the hands of Miss Hobart, and contrived matters 
 so well that she fell into his own. The duchess, 
 who had too much generosity not to treat as 
 visionary what was imputed to Miss Hobart, and 
 too much justice to condemn her upon the faith 
 of lampoons, removed her from the society of the 
 maids of honour, to be an attendant upon her own 
 person. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 297 
 
 Miss Bagot was the only one who was really pos- 
 sessed of virtue and beauty among these maids of 
 honour. She had beautiful and regular features, 
 and that sort of brown complexion, which, when in 
 perfection, is so particularly fascinating, and more 
 especially in England, where it is uncommon. 
 There was an involuntary blush almost continu- 
 ally upon her cheek, without having anything to 
 blush for. Lord Falmouth cast his eyes upon 
 her ; his addresses were better received than those 
 of Miss Hobart, and some time after Cupid raised 
 her, from the post of maid of honour to the 
 duchess, to a rank which might have been envied 
 by all the young ladies in England. 
 
 The Duchess of York, in order to form her new 
 court, resolved to see all the young persons that 
 offered themselves, and, without any regard to 
 recommendations, to choose none but the hand- 
 somest. 
 
 At the head of this new assembly appeared 
 Miss Jennings and Miss Temple ; and, indeed, 
 they so entirely eclipsed the other two, that we 
 shall speak of them only. 
 
 Miss Jennings, 1 adorned with all the blooming 
 
 'This lady was one of the daughters and co-heiresses of 
 Richard Jennings, Esq., of Sundridge, in the county of Hertford, 
 and elder sister to the celebrated Duchess of Marlborough. Her 
 name was Frances. She married George Hamilton, mentioned 
 in these "Memoirs ; " and after his death, took to her second 
 husband, Richard Talbot, already mentioned, created Duke of 
 Tyrconnel by James II., whose fortunes he followed. Lord 
 
298 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 treasures of youth, had the fairest and brightest 
 complexion that ever was seen ; her hair was of 
 a most beauteous flaxen. There was something 
 particularly lively and animated in her counte- 
 nance, which preserved her from that insipidity 
 which is frequently an attendant on a complexion 
 so fair. Her mouth was not the smallest, but it 
 was the handsomest mouth in the world. Nature 
 had endowed her with all those charms which 
 cannot be expressed, and the graces had given 
 the finishing stroke to them. The turn of her 
 face was exquisitely fine, and her swelling neck 
 was as fair and as bright as her face. In a word, 
 
 Melfort, secretary to that prince, appears to have conceived no 
 very favourable opinion of this lady ; for in a letter to his master, 
 dated October, 1689, he says : " There is one other thing, if it 
 could be effectuated, were of infinite use ; which is the getting 
 the Duchess of Tyrconnel, for her health, to come into France. 
 I did not know she had been so well known here as she is; but 
 the terms they give her, and which, for your service, I may 
 repeat unto you, is, that she has (T&me la plus noire qui se puisse 
 concevoir). I think it would help to keep that peace so neces- 
 sary for you, and prevent that caballing humour which has very 
 ill effects." — Macpherson's State Papers, vol. i. In 1699 she is 
 mentioned, in a letter from the Earl of Manchester to Lord 
 Jersey, as one of the needy Jacobites of King James's court, to 
 whom 3,000 crowns, part of that monarch's pension, had been 
 distributed. — Coles's State Papers, p. 53. In 1705 she was in 
 England, and had an interview with her brother-in-law, the Duke 
 of Marlborough, with whose family she seems not to have lived 
 in any terms of cordiality. — Macpherson, vol. i. In the latter 
 part of her life she resided in Ireland, and died there, 6th March, 
 1730-31, at a very advanced age. She was buried in the 
 Cathedral of St. Patrick's. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 299 
 
 her person gave the idea of Aurora, or the god- 
 dess of the spring, " such as youthful poets fancy 
 when they love." But as it would have been 
 unjust that a single person should have engrossed 
 all the treasures of beauty without any defect, 
 there was something wanting in her hands and 
 arms to render them worthy of the rest. Her 
 nose was not the most elegant, and her eyes gave 
 some relief, whilst her mouth and her other 
 charms pierced the heart with a thousand darts. 
 
 With this amiable person she was full of wit 
 and sprightliness, and all her actions and motions 
 were unaffected and easy ; her conversation was 
 bewitching, when she had a mind to please, pierc- 
 ing and delicate when disposed to raillery ; but as 
 her imagination was subject to flights, and as she 
 began to speak frequently before she had done 
 thinking, her expressions did not always convey 
 what she wished, sometimes exceeding, and at 
 others falling short of her ideas. 
 
 Miss Temple, 1 nearly of the same age, was 
 brown compared with the other. She had a 
 good shape, fine teeth, languishing eyes, a fresh 
 
 'Anne, daughter of Thomas Temple, of Frankton, in the 
 county of Warwick; by Rebecca, daughter of Sir Nicholas 
 Carew, of Beddington, in Surrey, knight. She afterward 
 became the second wife of Sir Charles Lyttelton, by whom she 
 had five sons and eight daughters. She was grandmother of 
 the first Lord Lyttelton, and died 27th August, 1718. Her 
 husband, Sir Charles Lyttelton, lived to the advanced age of 
 eighty-six years, and died at Hagley, May 2, 17 16. 
 
300 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 complexion, an agreeable smile, and a lively air. 
 Such was the outward form ; but it would be diffi- 
 cult to describe the rest, for she was simple and 
 vain, credulous and suspicious, coquettish and 
 prudent, very self-sufficient and very silly. 
 
 As soon as these new stars appeared at the 
 duchess's court, all eyes were fixed upon them, 
 and every one formed some design upon one or 
 other of them, some with honourable, and others 
 with dishonest intentions. Miss Jennings soon 
 distinguished herself, and left her companions no 
 other admirers but such as remained constant 
 from hopes of success. Her brilliant charms 
 attracted at first sight, and the charms of her 
 wit secured her conquests. 
 
 The Duke of York, having persuaded himself 
 that she was part of his property, resolved to 
 pursue his claim by the same title whereby his 
 brother had appropriated to himself the favours 
 of Miss Wells ; but he did not find her inclined 
 to enter into his service, though she had engaged 
 in that of the duchess. She would not pay any 
 attention to the perpetual ogling with which he at 
 first attacked her. Her eyes were always wander- 
 ing on other objects, when those of his Royal 
 Highness were looking for them ; and if by chance 
 he caught any casual glance, she did not even 
 blush. This made him resolve to change his man- 
 ner of attack ; ogling having proved ineffectual, 
 he took an opportunity to speak to her ; and this 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 301 
 
 was still worse. I know not in what strain he 
 told his case ; but it is certain the oratory of the 
 tongue was not more prevailing than the elo- 
 quence of his eyes. 
 
 Miss Jennings had both virtue and pride, and 
 the proposals of the duke were consistent with 
 neither the one nor the other. Although from 
 her great vivacity one might suppose that she was 
 not capable of much reflection, yet she had fur- 
 nished herself with some very salutary maxims for 
 the conduct of a young person of her age. The 
 first was, that a lady ought to be young to enter 
 the court with advantage, and not old to leave it 
 with a good grace ; that she could not maintain 
 herself there but by a glorious resistance, or by 
 illustrious foibles ; and that, in so dangerous a 
 situation, she ought to use her utmost endeavours 
 not to dispose of her heart until she gave her 
 hand. 
 
 Entertaining such sentiments, she had far less 
 trouble to resist the duke's temptations than to 
 disengage herself from his perseverance. She 
 was deaf to all treaties for a settlement, with 
 which her ambition was sounded, and all offers of 
 presents succeeded still worse. What was then 
 to be done to conquer an extravagant virtue that 
 would not hearken to reason ? He was ashamed 
 to suffer a giddy young girl to escape, whose in- 
 clinations ought in some manner to correspond 
 with the vivacity that shone forth in all her 
 
302 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 actions, and who nevertheless thought proper to 
 be serious when no such thing as seriousness was 
 required of her. 
 
 After he had attentively considered her obsti- 
 nate behaviour, he thought that writing might 
 perhaps succeed, though ogling, speeches, and 
 embassies had failed. Paper receives everything, 
 but it unfortunately happened that she would not 
 receive the paper. Every day billets, containing 
 the tenderest expressions and most magnificent 
 promises, were slipped into her pockets, or into 
 her muff. This, however, could not be done un- 
 perceived, and the malicious little gipsy took care 
 that those who saw them slip in should likewise 
 see them fall out, unperused and unopened ; she 
 only shook her muff, or pulled out her handker- 
 chief; as soon as ever his back was turned, his 
 billets fell about her like hailstones, and whoever 
 pleased might take them up. The duchess was 
 frequently a witness of this conduct, but could not 
 find in her heart to chide her for her want of 
 respect to the duke. After this, the charms and 
 prudence of Miss Jennings were the only subjects 
 of conversation in the two courts. The court- 
 iers could not comprehend how a young creature, 
 brought directly from the country to court, should 
 so soon become its ornament by her attractions, 
 and its example by her conduct. 
 
 The king was of opinion that those who had 
 attacked her had ill concerted their measures, for 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 303 
 
 he thought it unnatural that she should neither be 
 tempted by promises, nor gained by importunity ; 
 she, especially, who in all probability had not im- 
 bibed such severe precepts from the prudence of 
 her mother, who had never tasted anything more 
 delicious than the plums and apricots of Saint 
 Albans. 1 Being resolved to try her himself, he 
 was particularly pleased with the great novelty 
 that appeared in the turn of her wit and in the 
 charms of her person ; and curiosity, which at 
 first induced him to make the trial, was soon 
 changed into a desire of succeeding in the experi- 
 ment. God knows what might have been the 
 consequence, for he greatly excelled in wit, and, 
 besides, he was king, two qualities of no small 
 consideration. The resolutions of the fair Jen- 
 nings were commendable and very judicious ; but 
 yet she was wonderfully pleased with wit, and 
 royal majesty prostrate at the feet of a yoimg per- 
 son is very persuasive. Miss Stewart, however, 
 would not consent to the king's project. 
 
 She immediately took the alarm, and desired his 
 Majesty to leave to the duke, his brother, the care 
 of tutoring the duchess's maids of honour, and 
 only to attend to the management of his own 
 flock, unless his Majesty would in return allow her 
 to listen to certain proposals of a settlement which 
 she did not think disadvantageous. This menace 
 
 1 This town is in the neighbourhood of Sundridge, where 
 Miss Jennings's family resided. 
 
304 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 being of a serious nature, the king obeyed, and 
 Miss Jennings had all the additional honour which 
 arose from this adventure. It both added to her 
 reputation and increased the number of her ad- 
 mirers. Thus she continued to triumph over the 
 liberties of others without ever losing her own. 
 Her hour was not yet come, but it was not far 
 distant, the particulars of which we shall relate as 
 soon as we have given some account of the con- 
 duct of her companion. 
 
 Though Miss Temple's person was particularly 
 engaging, it was nevertheless eclipsed by that of 
 Miss Jennings ; but she was still more excelled 
 by the other's superior mental accomplishments. 
 Two persons, very capable to impart understand- 
 ing had the gift been communicable, undertook at 
 the same time to rob her of the little she really 
 possessed. These were Lord Rochester and Miss 
 Hobart. The first began to mislead her by read- 
 ing to her all his compositions, as if she alone had 
 been a proper judge of them. He never thought 
 proper to flatter her upon her personal accomplish- 
 ments, but told her that if Heaven had made him 
 susceptible of the impressions of beauty, it would 
 not have been possible for him to have escaped 
 her chains ; but not being, thank God, affected 
 with anything but wit, he had the happiness of 
 enjoying the most agreeable conversation in the 
 world without running any risk. After so sincere 
 a confession, he either presented to her a copy of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 305 
 
 verses or a new song, in which whoever dared 
 to come in competition in any respect with Miss 
 Temple was laid prostrate before her charms, 
 most humbly to solicit pardon. Such flattering 
 insinuations so completely turned her head that it 
 was a pity to see her. 
 
 The duchess took notice of it, and well knowing 
 the extent of both their geniuses, she saw the 
 precipice into which the poor girl was running 
 headlong without perceiving it ; but as it is no less 
 dangerous to forbid a connection that is not yet 
 thought of than it is difficult to put an end to one 
 that is already well established, Miss Hobart was 
 charged to take care, with all possible discretion, 
 that these frequent and long conversations might 
 not be attended with any dangerous consequences. 
 With pleasure she accepted the commission, and 
 greatly flattered herself with success. 
 
 She had already made all necessary advances to 
 gain possession of her confidence and friendship ; 
 and Miss Temple, less suspicious of her than of 
 Lord Rochester, made all imaginable returns. 
 She was greedy of praise, and loved all manner of 
 sweetmeats as much as a child of nine or ten years 
 old. Her taste was gratified in both these re- 
 spects. Miss Hobart having the superintendence 
 of the duchess's baths, her apartment joined them, 
 in which there was a closet stored with all sorts of 
 sweetmeats and liqueurs. The closet suited Miss 
 Temple's taste as exactly as it gratified Miss 
 
306 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Hobart's inclination to have something that could 
 allure her. 
 
 Summer, being now returned, brought back 
 with it the pleasures and diversions that are its 
 inseparable attendants. One day when the ladies 
 had been taking the air on horseback, Miss Tem- 
 ple, on her return from riding, alighted at Miss 
 Hobart's in order to recover her fatigue at the 
 expense of the sweetmeats, which she knew were 
 there at her service ; but before she began she 
 desired Miss Hobart's permission to undress her- 
 self and change her linen in her apartment, which 
 request was immediately complied with. " I was 
 just going to propose it to you," said Miss Hobart ; 
 "not but that you are as charming as an angel in 
 your riding-habit, but there is nothing so comfort- 
 able as a loose dress, and being at one's ease. 
 You cannot imagine, my dear Temple," continued 
 she, embracing her, " how much you oblige me by 
 this free, unceremonious conduct ; but, above all, 
 I am enchanted with your particular attention to 
 cleanliness. How greatly you differ in this, as in 
 many other things, from that silly creature, Jen- 
 nings ! Have you remarked how all our court 
 fops admire her for her brilliant complexion, which 
 perhaps, after all, is not wholly her own ; and for 
 blunders, which are truly original, and which they 
 are such fools as to mistake for wit. I have not 
 conversed with her long enough to perceive in 
 what her wit consists : but of this I am certain, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 307 
 
 that if it is not better than her feet, it is no great 
 matter. What stories have I heard of her slut- 
 tishness ! No cat ever dreaded water so much as 
 she does. Fie upon her ! Never to wash for her 
 own comfort, and only to attend to those parts 
 which must necessarily be seen, such as the neck 
 and hands." 
 
 Miss Temple swallowed all this with even 
 greater pleasure than the sweetmeats ; and the 
 officious Hobart, not to lose time, was helping 
 her off with her clothes, while the chambermaid 
 was coming. She made some objections to this 
 at first, being unwilling to occasion that trouble 
 to a person, who, like Miss Hobart, had been 
 advanced to a place of dignity ; but she was over- 
 ruled by her, and assured that it was with the 
 greatest pleasure she showed her that small mark 
 of civility. The collation being finished, and Miss 
 Temple undressed, "Let us retire," said Miss 
 Hobart, "to the bathing-closet, where we may 
 enjoy a little conversation secure from any imper- 
 tinent visit." Miss Temple consented, and both 
 of them sitting down on a couch, "You are too 
 young, my dear Temple," said she, "to know the 
 baseness of men in general, and too short a time 
 acquainted with the court to know the character 
 of its inhabitants. I will give you a short sketch 
 of the principal persons, to the best of my knowl- 
 edge, without injury to any one, for I abominate 
 the trade of scandal. 
 
308 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 " In the first place, then, you ought to set it 
 down as an undoubted fact that all courtiers are 
 deficient either in honesty, good sense, judgment, 
 wit, or sincerity ; that is to say, if any of them by 
 chance possess some one of these qualities, you 
 may depend upon it he is defective in the rest ; 
 sumptuous in their equipages, deep play, a great 
 opinion of their own merit, and contempt of that 
 of others, are their chief characteristics. 
 
 "Interest or pleasure are the motives of all 
 their actions ; those who are led by the first 
 would sell God Almighty, as Judas sold his mas- 
 ter, and that for less money. I could relate you a 
 thousand notable instances of this, if I had time. 
 As for the sectaries of pleasure, or those who pre- 
 tend to be such, for they are not all so bad as they 
 endeavour to make themselves appear, these gen- 
 tlemen pay no manner of regard either to prom- 
 ises, oaths, law, or religion ; that is to say, they 
 are literally no respecters of persons ; they care 
 neither for God nor man, if they can but gain their 
 ends. They look upon maids of honour only as 
 amusements, placed expressly at court for their 
 entertainment ; and the more merit any one has, 
 the more she is exposed to their impertinence, if 
 she gives any ear to them ; and to their malicious 
 calumnies, when she ceases to attend to them. 
 As for husbands, this is not the place to find 
 them ; for unless money or caprice make up the 
 match, there is but little hopes of being married ; 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 309 
 
 virtue and beauty in this respect here are equally 
 useless. Lady Falmouth is the only instance of 
 a maid of honour well married without a portion ; 
 and if you were to ask her poor weak husband for 
 what reason he married her, I am persuaded that 
 he can assign none, unless it be her great red ears 
 and broad feet. As for the pale Lady Yarbor- 
 ough, who appeared so proud of her match, she is 
 wife, to be sure, of a great country bumpkin, who, 
 the very week after their marriage, bid her take 
 her farewell of the town forever, in consequence of 
 five or six thousand pounds a year he enjoys on 
 the borders of Cornwall. Alas ! poor Miss Blague ! 
 I saw her go away about this time twelvemonth, in 
 a coach with four such lean horses, that I cannot 
 believe she is yet half-way to her miserable little 
 castle. What can be the matter ! all the girls 
 seem afflicted with the rage of wedlock, and how- 
 ever small their portion of charms may be, they 
 think it only necessary to show themselves at 
 court in order to pick and choose their men ; but 
 was this in reality the case, the being a wife is the 
 most wretched condition imaginable for a person 
 of nice sentiments. Believe me, my dear Temple, 
 the pleasures of matrimony are so inconsiderable 
 in comparison with its inconveniences, that I 
 cannot imagine how any reasonable creature can 
 resolve upon it ; rather fly, therefore, from this 
 irksome engagement than court it. Jealousy, for- 
 merly a stranger to these happy isles, is now com 
 
310 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ing into fashion, with many recent examples of 
 which you are acquainted. However brilliant the 
 phantom may appear, suffer not yourself to be 
 caught by its splendour, and never be so weak as 
 to transform your slave into your tyrant ; as long 
 as you preserve your own liberty, you will be mis- 
 tress of that of others. I will relate to you a very 
 recent proof of the perfidy of man to our sex, and 
 of the impunity they experience in all attempts 
 upon our innocence. The Earl of Oxford ' fell in 
 love with a handsome, graceful actress belonging 
 to the duke's theatre, who performed to perfection, 
 particularly the part of Roxana, in a very fash- 
 
 1 This was Aubrey de Vere, the last Earl of Oxford of that 
 name, and the twentieth and last earl of that family. He was 
 chief justice in eyre, and in the reign of Charles II., lord of the 
 bedchamber, privy-councillor, colonel of the royal regiment of 
 horse guards, and lord lieutenant of the county of Essex ; and 
 lieutenant-general of the forces in the reign of William III., 
 and also Knight of the Garter. He died March 12, 1702, aged 
 eighty years and upwards, and was buried in Westminster 
 Abbey. The author of a " History of the English Stage," pub- 
 lished by Curl, 1741, 8vo, says, that Mrs. Marshall, a celebrated 
 actress, more known by the name of Roxana, from acting that 
 part, was the person deceived by the Earl of Oxford in this 
 manner. The particulars of the story, as there related, do not 
 materially vary from the present account of the transaction. A 
 more detailed narrative of this seduction is given in Madame 
 Dunois's "Memoirs of the Court of England," part ii. p. 71. 
 Mrs. Marshall, who was the original Roxana in Lee's " Rival 
 Queens," belonged not to the duke's, but the king's theatre. 
 Lord Orford, I know not on what authority, has given the 
 name of Mrs. Barker to this lady ; a name totally unknown, I 
 believe, in the annals of the stage. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 311 
 
 ionable new play, insomuch that she ever after re- 
 tained that name ; this creature being both very 
 virtuous and very modest, or, if you please, wonder- 
 fully obstinate, proudly rejected the addresses and 
 presents of the Earl of Oxford. This resistance 
 inflamed his passion ; he had recourse to invec- 
 tives, and even to spells ; but all in vain. This 
 disappointment had such an effect upon him that 
 he could neither eat nor drink ; this did not sig- 
 nify to him ; but his passion at length became so 
 violent, that he could neither play nor smoke. In 
 this extremity love had recourse to Hymen ; the 
 Earl of Oxford, one of the first peers of the realm, 
 is, you know, a very handsome man ; he is of the 
 Order of the Garter, which greatly adds to an 
 air naturally noble. In short, from his outward 
 appearance, you would suppose he was really 
 possessed of some sense ; but as soon as ever 
 you hear him speak, you are perfectly convinced 
 of the contrary. This passionate lover presented 
 her with a promise of marriage, in due form, signed 
 with his own hand ; she would not, however, rely 
 upon this, but the next day she thought there 
 could be no danger, when the earl himself came 
 to her lodgings attended by a clergyman, and 
 another man for a witness. The marriage was 
 accordingly solemnised with all due ceremonies, 
 in the presence of one of her fellow players, who 
 attended as a witness on her part. You will sup- 
 pose, perhaps, that the new countess had nothing 
 
312 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 to do but to appear at court according to her rank, 
 and to display the earl's arms upon her carriage. 
 This was far from being the case. When exami- 
 nation was made concerning the marriage, it was 
 found to be a mere deception ; it appeared that 
 the pretended priest was one of my lord's trum- 
 peters, and the witness his kettle-drummer. The 
 parson and his companion never appeared after 
 the ceremony was over ; and as for the other 
 witness, they endeavoured to persuade her, that 
 the Sultana Roxana might have supposed, in some 
 part or other of a play, that she was really mar- 
 ried. It was all to no purpose that the poor crea- 
 ture claimed the protection of the laws of God and 
 man, both which were violated and abused, as well 
 as herself, by this infamous imposition ; in vain 
 did she throw herself at the king's feet to demand 
 justice; she had only to rise up again without 
 redress, and happy might she think herself to 
 receive an annuity of one thousand crowns, and 
 to resume the name of Roxana, instead of Count- 
 ess of Oxford. You will say, perhaps, that she 
 was only a player ; that all men have not the same 
 sentiments as the earl ; and that one may at least 
 believe them, when they do but render justice to 
 such merit as yours. But still do not believe 
 them, though I know you are liable to it, as you 
 have admirers ; for all are not infatuated with Miss 
 Jennings : the handsome Sidney ogles you ; Lord 
 Rochester is delighted with your conversation ; 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 313 
 
 and the most serious Sir Lyttelton forsakes 
 
 his natural gravity in favour of your charms. As 
 for the first, I confess his figure is very likely to 
 engage the inclinations of a young person like 
 yourself ; but were his outward form attended 
 with other accomplishments, which I know it is 
 not, and that his sentiments in your favour were 
 as real as he endeavours to persuade you they are, 
 and as you deserve, yet I would not advise you to 
 form any connections with him, for reasons which 
 I cannot tell you at present. 
 
 " Sir Lyttelton ' is undoubtedly in 
 
 earnest, since he appears ashamed of the condition to 
 which you have reduced him ; and I really believe if 
 he could get the better of those vulgar chimerical 
 apprehensions, of being what is vulgarly called a 
 cuckold, the good man would marry you, and you 
 would be his representative in his little govern- 
 ment, where you might merrily pass your days 
 in casting up the weekly bills of housekeeping 
 and in darning old napkins. What a glory would 
 it be to have a Cato for a husband, whose speeches 
 are as many lectures, and whose lectures are com- 
 posed of nothing but ill nature and censure ! 
 
 " Lord Rochester is, without contradiction, the 
 most witty man in all England ; but then he is 
 likewise the most unprincipled, and devoid even 
 of the least tincture of honour ; he is dangerous 
 to our sex alone ; and that to such a degree that 
 
 1 Sir Charles Lyttelton, of whom see note on p. 299. 
 
314 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 there is not a woman who gives ear to him three 
 times but she irretrievably loses her reputation. 
 No woman can escape him, for he has her in his 
 writings, though his other attacks be ineffectual ; 
 and in the age we live in, the one is as bad as the 
 other in the eye of the public. In the meantime 
 nothing is more dangerous than the artful, insin- 
 uating manner with which he gains possession 
 of the mind. He applauds your taste, submits to 
 your sentiments, and at the very instant that he 
 himself does not believe a single word of what 
 he is saying, he makes you believe it all. I dare 
 lay a wager, that from the conversation you have had 
 with him, you thought him one of the most honour- 
 able and sincerest men living. For my part I can- 
 not imagine what he means by the assiduity he pays 
 you ; not but your accomplishments are sufficient 
 to excite the adoration and praise of the whole 
 world, but had he even been so fortunate as to 
 have gained your affections, he would not know 
 what to do with the loveliest creature at court, 
 for it is a long time since his debauches have 
 brought him to order, with the assistance of the 
 favours of all the common street-walkers. See 
 then, my dear Temple, what horrid malice pos- 
 sesses him, to the ruin and confusion of innocence ! 
 A wretch ! to have no other design in his ad- 
 dresses and assiduities to Miss Temple, but to 
 give a greater air of probability to the calumnies 
 with which he has loaded her. You look upon 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 315 
 
 me with astonishment, and seem to doubt the 
 truth of what I advance ; but I do not desire you 
 to believe me without evidence. Here," said she, 
 drawing a paper out of her pocket, "see what a 
 copy of verses he has made in your praise, while 
 he lulls your credulity to rest, by flattering speeches 
 and feigned respect." 
 
 After saying this, the perfidious Hobart showed 
 her half a dozen couplets full of strained invective 
 and scandal, which Rochester had made against 
 the former maids of honour. This severe and 
 cutting lampoon was principally levelled against 
 Miss Price, whose person he took to pieces in 
 the most frightful and hideous manner imaginable. 
 Miss Hobart had substituted the name of Temple 
 instead of Price, which she made to agree both 
 with the measure and tune of the song. This 
 effectually answered Hobart's intentions. The 
 credulous Temple no sooner heard her sing the 
 lampoon, but she firmly believed it to be made 
 upon herself ; and in the first transports of her 
 rage, having nothing so much at heart as to give 
 the lie to the fictions of the poet, " Ah ! as for 
 this, my dear Hobart," said she, "I can bear it 
 no longer. I do not pretend to be so handsome 
 as some others ; but as for the defects that villain 
 charges me with, I dare say, my dear Hobart, 
 there is no woman more free from them : we are 
 alone, and I am almost inclined to convince you 
 by ocular demonstration." Miss Hobart was too 
 
316 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 complaisant to oppose this motion ; but, although 
 she soothed her mind by extolling all her beauties 
 in opposition to Lord Rochester's song, Miss 
 Temple was almost driven to distraction by rage 
 and astonishment, that the first man she ever 
 attended to should, in his conversation with her, 
 not even make use of a single word of truth, but 
 that he should likewise have the unparalleled 
 cruelty falsely to accuse her of defects ; and not 
 being able to find words capable of expressing 
 her anger and resentment, she began to weep like 
 a child. 
 
 Miss Hobart used all her endeavours to comfort 
 her, and chid her for being so much hurt with 
 the invectives of a person whose scandalous im- 
 postures were too well known to make any impres- 
 sion. She, however, advised her never to speak 
 to him any more, for that was the only method 
 to disappoint his designs ; that contempt and silence 
 were, on such occasions, much preferable to any 
 explanation, and that if he could once obtain a 
 hearing, he would be justified, but she would be 
 ruined. 
 
 Miss Hobart was not wrong in giving her this 
 counsel. She knew that an explanation would 
 betray her, and that there would be no quarter 
 for her if Lord Rochester had so fair an oppor- 
 tunity of renewing his former panegyrics upon 
 her ; but her precaution was in vain. This con- 
 versation had been heard from one end to the 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT , 317 
 
 other by the governess's niece, who was blessed 
 with a most faithful memory ; and having that 
 very day an appointment with Lord Rochester, 
 she conned it over three or four times, that she 
 might not forget one single word, when she should 
 have the honour of relating it to her lover. We 
 shall show in the next chapter what were the 
 consequences resulting from it. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 [HE conversation before related was 
 agreeable only to Miss Hobart ; for if 
 Miss Temple was entertained with its 
 commencement, she was so much the more irri- 
 tated by its conclusion ; this indignation was suc- 
 ceeded by the curiosity of knowing the reason why, 
 if Sidney had a real esteem for her, she should not 
 be allowed to pay some attention to him. The 
 tender-hearted Hobart, unable to refuse her any 
 request, promised her this piece of confidence, as 
 soon as she should be secure of her conduct 
 toward Lord Rochester ; for this she only desired 
 a trial of her sincerity for three days, after which 
 she assured her she would acquaint her with 
 everything she wished to know. Miss Temple 
 protested she no longer regarded Lord Rochester 
 but as a monster of perfidiousness, and vowed, by 
 all that was sacred, that she would never listen to 
 him, much less speak to him, as long as she lived. 
 As soon as they retired from the closet, Miss 
 Sarah came out of the bath, where, during all this 
 conversation, she had been almost perished with 
 cold, without daring to complain. This little gipsy 
 318 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 319 
 
 had, it seems, obtained leave of Miss Hobart's 
 woman to bathe herself unknown to her mistress ; 
 and having, I know not how, found means to fill 
 one of the baths with cold water, Miss Sarah had 
 just got into it, when they were both alarmed with 
 the arrival of the other two. A glass partition 
 enclosed the room where the baths were, and 
 Indian silk curtains, which drew on the inside, 
 screened those that were bathing. Miss Hobart's 
 chambermaid had only just time to draw these 
 curtains, that the girl might not be seen to lock 
 the partition door, and to take away the key be- 
 fore her mistress and Miss Temple came in. 
 
 These two sat down on a couch placed along 
 the partition, and Miss Sarah, notwithstanding her 
 alarms, had distinctly heard, and perfectly retained 
 the whole conversation. As the little girl was at 
 all this trouble to make herself clean, only on 
 Lord Rochester's account, as soon as ever she 
 could make her escape she regained her garret ; 
 where Rochester, having repaired thither at the 
 appointed hour, was fully informed of all that had 
 passed in the bathing-room. He was astonished 
 at the audacious temerity of Hobart in daring to 
 put such a trick upon him ; but, though he rightly 
 judged that love and jealousy were the real 
 motives, he would not excuse her. Little Sarah 
 desired to know whether he had a real affection 
 for Miss Temple, as Miss Hobart said she sup- 
 posed that was the case. "Can you doubt it," 
 
320 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 replied he, "since that oracle of sincerity has af- 
 firmed it ? But then you know that I am not now 
 capable of profiting by my perfidy, were I even to 
 gain Miss Temple's compliance, since my de- 
 bauches and the street-walkers have brought me 
 to order." 
 
 This answer made Miss Sarah very easy, for 
 she concluded that the first article was not true, 
 since she knew from experience that the latter was 
 false. Lord Rochester was resolved that very 
 evening to attend the duchess's court, to see what 
 reception he would meet with after the fine por- 
 trait Miss Hobart had been so kind as to draw of 
 him. Miss Temple did not fail to be there like- 
 wise, with the intention of looking on him with 
 the most contemptuous disdain possible, though 
 she had taken care to dress herself as well as she 
 could. As she supposed that the lampoon Miss 
 Hobart had sung to her was in everybody's posses- 
 sion, she was under great embarrassment lest all 
 those whom she met should think her such a mon- 
 ster as Lord Rochester had described her. In the 
 meantime, Miss Hobart, who had not much con- 
 fidence in her promises never more to speak to 
 him, narrowly watched her. Miss Temple never 
 in her life appeared so handsome ; every person 
 complimented her upon it, but she received all the 
 civilities with such an air, that every one thought 
 she was mad ; for when they commended her 
 shape, her fresh complexion, and the brilliancy of 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 321 
 
 her eyes : " Pshaw ! " said she, " it is very well 
 known that I am but a monster, and formed in no 
 respect like other women ; all is not gold that 
 glisters, and though I may receive some compli- 
 ments in public, it signifies nothing." All Miss 
 Hobart's endeavours to stop her tongue were in- 
 effectual ; and continuing to rail at herself ironic- 
 ally, the whole court was puzzled to comprehend 
 her meaning. 
 
 When Lord Rochester came in, she first blushed, 
 then turned pale, made a motion to go toward him, 
 drew back again, pulled her gloves one after the 
 other up to the elbow ; and after having three 
 times violently flirted her fan, she waited until he 
 paid his compliments to her as usual, and as soon 
 as he began to bow, the fair one immediately 
 turned her back upon him. Rochester only smiled, 
 and being resolved that her resentment should be 
 still more remarked, he turned round, and posting 
 himself face to face, " Madame," said he, "nothing 
 can be so glorious as to look so charming as you 
 do, after such a fatiguing day : to support a ride 
 of three long hours, and Miss Hobart afterward, 
 without being tired, shows indeed a very strong 
 constitution." 
 
 Miss Temple had naturally a tender look, but 
 she was transported with such a violent passion at 
 his having the audacity to speak to her, that her 
 eyes appeared like two fireballs when she turned 
 them upon him. Hobart pinched her arm, as she 
 
322 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 perceived that this look was likely to be followed 
 by a torrent of reproaches and invectives. 
 
 Lord Rochester did not wait for them, and de- 
 laying until another opportunity the acknowledg- 
 ments he owed Miss Hobart, he quietly retired. 
 The latter, who could not imagine that he knew 
 anything of their conversation at the bath, was, 
 however, much alarmed at what he had said ; but 
 Miss Temple, almost choked with the reproaches 
 with which she thought herself able to confound 
 him, and which she had not time to give vent 
 to, vowed to ease her mind of them upon the 
 first opportunity, notwithstanding the promise 
 she had made, but never more to speak to him 
 afterward. 
 
 Lord Rochester had a faithful spy near these 
 nymphs ; this was Miss Sarah, who, by his advice, 
 and with her aunt's consent, was reconciled with 
 Miss Hobart, the more effectually to betray her. 
 He was informed by this spy, that Miss Hobart's 
 maid, being suspected of having listened to them 
 in the closet, had been turned away ; that she had 
 taken another, whom in all probability she would 
 not keep long, because, in the first place, she was 
 ugly, and, in the second, she eat the sweetmeats 
 that were prepared for Miss Temple. Although 
 this intelligence was not very material, Sarah was 
 nevertheless praised for her punctuality and atten- 
 tion ; and a few days afterward she brought him 
 news of real importance. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 323 
 
 Rochester was by her informed, that Miss Ho- 
 bart and her new favourite designed, about nine 
 o'clock in the evening, to walk in the Mall, in the 
 park ; that they were to change clothes with each 
 other, to put on scarfs, and wear black masks ; 
 she added, that Miss Hobart had strongly opposed 
 this project, but that she was obliged to give way 
 at last, Miss Temple having resolved to indulge 
 her fancy. 
 
 Upon the strength of this intelligence, Rochester 
 concerted his measures ; he went to Killegrew, 
 complained to him of the trick which Miss Hobart 
 had played him, and desired his assistance in order 
 to be revenged ; this was readily granted, and 
 having acquainted him with the measures he in- 
 tended to pursue, and given him the part he was 
 to act in this adventure, they went to the Mall. 
 
 Presently after appeared our two nymphs in 
 masquerade ; their shapes were not very different, 
 and their faces, which were very unlike each other, 
 were concealed with their masks. The company 
 was but thin in the park ; and as soon as Miss 
 Temple perceived them at a distance, she quick- 
 ened her pace in order to join them, with the 
 design, under her disguise, severely to reprimand 
 the perfidious Rochester, when Miss Hobart stop- 
 ping her, "Where are you running to?" said 
 she ; " have you a mind to engage in conversation 
 with these two devils, to be exposed to all the 
 insolence and impertinence for which they are so 
 
324 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 notorious ? " These remonstrances were entirely 
 useless. Miss Temple was resolved to try the 
 experiment, and all that could be obtained from 
 her was, not to answer any of the questions 
 Rochester might ask her. 
 
 They were accosted just as they had done 
 speaking ; Rochester fixed upon Hobart, pretend- 
 ing to take her for the other, at which she was 
 overjoyed, but Miss Temple was extremely sorry 
 she fell to Killegrew's share, with whom she had 
 nothing to do. He perceived her uneasiness, and, 
 pretending to know her by her clothes, "Ah! 
 Miss Hobart," said he, "be so kind as look this 
 way, if you please. I know not by what chance you 
 both came hither, but I am sure it is very apropos 
 for you, since I have something to say to you, as 
 your friend and humble servant." 
 
 This beginning raising her curiosity, Miss 
 Temple appeared more inclined to attend him, 
 and Killegrew, perceiving that the other couple 
 had insensibly proceeded some distance from them, 
 "In the name of God," said he, "what do you 
 mean by railing so against Lord Rochester, whom 
 you know to be one of the most honourable men 
 at court, and whom you nevertheless described as 
 the greatest villain to the person whom of all 
 others he esteems and respects the most ? What 
 do you think would become of you if he knew that 
 you made Miss Temple believe that she is the 
 person alluded to in a certain song, which you 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 325 
 
 know as well as myself was made upon the clumsy 
 Miss Price, above a year before the fair Temple 
 was heard of ? Be not surprised that I know so 
 much of the matter, but pay a little attention, 
 I pray you, to what I am now going to tell you 
 out of pure friendship. Your passion and inclina- 
 tions for Miss Temple are known to every one but 
 herself ; for whatever methods you used to impose 
 upon her innocence, the world does her the justice 
 to believe that she would treat you as Lady Fal- 
 mouth did if the poor girl knew the wicked designs 
 you had upon her. I caution you, therefore, against 
 making any further advances to a person too mod- 
 est to listen to them. I advise you likewise to 
 take back your maid again, in order to silence her 
 scandalous tongue, for she says everywhere that 
 she is with child, that you are the occasion of her 
 being in that condition, and accuses you of behav- 
 ing toward her with the blackest ingratitude upon 
 trifling suspicions only. You know very well these 
 are no stories of my own invention, but that you 
 may not entertain any manner of doubt that I had 
 all this from her own mouth, she has told me your 
 conversation in the bathing-room ; the characters 
 you there drew of the principal men at court ; your 
 artful malice in applying so improperly a scandal- 
 ous song to one of the loveliest women in all Eng- 
 land ; and in what manner the innocent girl fell 
 into the snare you had laid for her, in order to do 
 justice to her charms. But that which might be 
 
326 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 of the most fatal consequences to you in that long 
 conversation is the revealing certain secrets, which, 
 in all probability, the duchess did not entrust you' 
 with, to be imparted to the maids of honour ; 
 reflect upon this, and neglect not to make some 
 
 reparation to Sir Lyttelton, for the ridicule 
 
 with which you were pleased to load him. I know 
 not whether he had his information from your 
 femme de chambre, but I am very certain that he 
 has sworn he will be revenged, and he is a man 
 that keeps his word ; for after all, that you may 
 not be deceived by his look, like that of a Stoic, 
 and his gravity, like that of a judge, I must ac- 
 quaint you that he is the most passionate man 
 living. Indeed, these invectives are of the blackest 
 and most horrible nature ; he says it is most infa- 
 mous that a wretch like yourself should find no 
 other employment than to blacken the characters 
 of gentlemen to gratify your jealousy ; that if you 
 do not desist from such conduct for the future, he 
 will immediately complain of you, and that if her 
 Royal Highness will not do him justice, he is 
 determined to do himself justice, and to run you 
 through the body with his own sword, though you 
 were even in the arms of Miss Temple ; and that 
 it is most scandalous that all the maids of honour 
 should get into your hands before they can look 
 around them. 
 
 " These things, madam e, I thought it my duty to 
 acquaint you with ; you are better able to judge 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 327 
 
 than myself whether what I have now advanced 
 be true, and I leave it to your own discretion to 
 make what use you think proper of my advice ; 
 but were I in your situation, I would endeavour 
 to reconcile Lord Rochester and Miss Temple. 
 Once more I recommend to you to take care that 
 your endeavours to mislead her innocency, in order 
 to blast his honour, may not come to his knowl- 
 edge ; and do not estrange from her a man who 
 tenderly loves her, and whose probity is so great 
 that he would not even suffer his eyes to wander 
 toward her, if his intention was not to make her 
 his wife." 
 
 Miss Temple observed her promise most faith- 
 fully during this discourse ; she did not even utter 
 a single syllable, being seized with such astonish- 
 ment and confusion that she quite lost the use of 
 her tongue. 
 
 Miss Hobart and Lord Rochester came up to 
 her, while she was still in amazement at the won- 
 derful discoveries she had made ; things in them- 
 selves, in her opinion, almost incredible, but to the 
 truth of which she could not refuse her assent, 
 upon examining the evidences and circumstances 
 on which they were founded. Never was confu- 
 sion equal to that with which her whole frame was 
 seized by the foregoing recital. 
 
 Rochester and Killegrew took leave of them 
 before she recovered from her surprise ; but as 
 soon as she had regained the free use of her 
 
328 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 senses, she hastened back to St. James, without 
 answering a single question that the other put to 
 her ; and having locked herself up in her chamber, 
 the first thing she did was immediately to strip 
 off Miss Hobart's clothes, lest she should be con- 
 taminated by them, for after what she had been 
 told concerning her, she looked upon her as a mon- 
 ster, dreadful to the innocence of the fair sex, of 
 whatever sex she might be ; she blushed at the 
 familiarities she had been drawn into with a crea- 
 ture, whose maid was with child, though she never 
 had been in any other service but hers ; she there- 
 fore returned her all her clothes, ordered her ser- 
 vant to bring back all her own, and resolved never 
 more to have any connection with her. Miss 
 Hobart, on the other hand, who supposed Kille- 
 grew had mistaken Miss Temple for herself, could 
 not comprehend what could induce her to give 
 herself such surprising airs since that conversa- 
 tion, but being desirous to come to an explanation, 
 she ordered Miss Temple's maid to remain in her 
 apartments, and went to call upon Miss Temple 
 herself, instead of sending back her clothes ; and 
 being desirous to give her some proof of friend- 
 ship before they entered upon expostulations, she 
 slipped softly into her chamber, when she was in 
 the very act of changing her linen, and embraced 
 her. Miss Temple finding herself in her arms 
 before she had taken notice of her, everything 
 that Killegrew had mentioned appeared to her 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 319 
 
 imagination ; she fancied that she saw in her 
 looks the eagerness of a satyr, or, if possible, 
 of some monster still more odious, and disengag- 
 ing herself with the highest indignation from her 
 arms, she began to shriek and cry in the most 
 terrible manner, calling both heaven and earth to 
 her assistance. 
 
 The first whom her cries raised were the gov- 
 erness and her niece. It was near twelve o'clock 
 at night ; Miss Temple in her shift, almost fright- 
 ened to death, was pushing back with horror Miss 
 Hobart, who approached her with no other intent 
 than to know the occasion of these transports. 
 As soon as the governess saw this scene, she 
 began to lecture Miss Hobart with all the elo- 
 quence of a real duenna. She demanded of her 
 whether she thought it was for her that her 
 Royal Highness kept the maids of honour ; 
 whether she was not ashamed to come at such 
 an unseasonable time of night into their very 
 apartments to commit such violences ; and swore 
 that she would, the very next day, complain to the 
 duchess. All this confirmed Miss Temple in her 
 mistaken notions, and Hobart was obliged to go 
 away at last without being able to convince or 
 bring to reason creatures whom she believed to 
 be either distracted or mad. The next day Miss 
 Sarah did not fail to relate this adventure to her 
 lover, telling him how Miss Temple's cries had 
 alarmed the maids of honour's apartment, and 
 
330 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 how herself and her aunt, running to her assist- 
 ance, had almost surprised Miss Hobart in the 
 very act. 
 
 Two days after, the whole adventure, with the 
 addition of several embellishments, was made 
 public. The governess swore to the truth of it, 
 and related in every company what a narrow 
 escape Miss Temple had experienced, and that 
 Miss Sarah, her niece, had preserved her honour, 
 because, by Lord Rochester's excellent advice, 
 she had forbidden her all manner of connection 
 with so dangerous a person. Miss Temple was 
 afterward informed that the song that had so 
 greatly provoked her alluded to Miss Price only ; 
 this was confirmed to her by every person, with 
 additional execrations against Miss Hobart for 
 such a scandalous imposition. Such great cold- 
 ness, after so much familiarity, made many believe 
 that this adventure was not altogether a fiction. 
 
 This had been sufficient to have disgraced Miss 
 Hobart at court, and to have totally ruined her 
 reputation in London, had she not been, upon the 
 present, as well as upon a former occasion, sup- 
 ported by the duchess. Her Royal Highness 
 pretended to treat the whole story as romantic 
 and visionary, or as solely arising from private 
 pique. She chid Miss Temple for her imperti- 
 nent credulity, turned away the governess and her 
 niece, for the lies with which she pretended they 
 supported the imposture, and did many improper 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 331 
 
 things in order to reestablish Miss Hobart's hon- 
 our, which, however, she failed in accomplishing. 
 She had her reasons for not entirely abandon- 
 ing her, as will appear in the sequel. 
 
 Miss Temple, who continually reproached her- 
 self with injustice with respect to Lord Roch- 
 ester, and who, upon the faith of Killegrew's 
 word, thought him the most honourable man in 
 England, was only solicitous to find out some 
 opportunity of easing her mind by making him 
 some reparation for the rigour with which she 
 had treated him. These favourable dispositions, 
 in the hands of a man of his character, might have 
 led to consequences of which she was not aware, 
 but Heaven did not allow him an opportunity of 
 profiting by them. 
 
 Ever since he had first appeared at court, he 
 seldom failed being banished from it at least 
 once in the year ; for whenever a word presented 
 itself to his pen or to his tongue, he immediately 
 committed it to paper, or produced it in conversa- 
 tion, without any manner of regard to the conse- 
 quences ; the ministers, the mistresses, and even 
 the. king himself, were frequently the subjects of 
 his sarcasms, and had not the prince, whom he 
 thus treated, been possessed of one of the most 
 forgiving and gentle tempers, his first disgrace 
 had certainly been his last. 
 
 Just at the time that Miss Temple was desirous 
 of seeing him, in order to apologise for the un- 
 
332 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 easiness which the infamous calumnies and black 
 aspersions of Miss Hobart had occasioned both of 
 them, he was forbid the court for the third time. 
 He departed without having seen Miss Temple, 
 carried the disgraced governess down with him 
 to his country-seat, and exerted all his endeavours 
 to cultivate in her niece some dispositions which 
 she had for the stage ; but though she did not 
 make the same improvement in this line as she 
 had by his other instructions, after he had en- 
 tertained both the niece and the aunt for some 
 months in the country, he got her entered in the 
 king's company of comedians the next winter, and 
 the public was obliged to him for the prettiest, but 
 at the same time the worst actress in the kingdom. 1 
 
 1 Though no name is given to this lady, there are circum- 
 stances enough mentioned to fix on the celebrated Mrs. Barry 
 as the person intended by the author. Mrs. Barry was intro- 
 duced to the stage by Lord Rochester, with whom she had an 
 intrigue, the fruit of which was a daughter, who lived to the age 
 of thirteen years, and is often mentioned in his collection of 
 love-letters, printed in his works, which were written to Mrs. 
 Barry. On her first theatrical attempts, so little hopes were en- 
 tertained of her that she was, as Cibber declares, discharged 
 from the company at the end of the first year, among others that 
 were thought to be a useless expense to it. She was well born, 
 being daughter of Robert Barry, Esq., barrister at law, a gentle- 
 man of an ancient family and good estate, who hurt his fortune 
 by his attachment to Charles I., for whom he raised a regiment 
 at his own expense. Tony Aston, in his " Supplement to Cib- 
 ber's Apology," says she was woman to Lady Shelton of Nor- 
 folk, who might have belonged to the court. Curl, however, 
 says she was early taken under the patronage of Lady Davenant. 
 Both these accounts may be true. The time of her appearance 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 333 
 
 About this time Talbot returned from Ireland. 
 He soon felt the absence of Miss Hamilton, who 
 was then in the country with a relation whom we 
 shall mention hereafter. A remnant of his for- 
 mer tenderness still subsisted in his heart, not- 
 
 on the stage was probably not much earlier than 1671, in which 
 year she performed in " Tom Essence," and was, it may be con- 
 jectured, about the age of nineteen. Curl mentions the great 
 pains taken by Lord Rochester in instructing her, which were 
 repaid by the rapid progress she daily made in her profession. 
 She at last eclipsed all her competitors, and in the part of Moni- 
 mia established her reputation. From her performance in 
 this character, in that of Belvidera, and of Isabella, in the 
 " Fatal Marriage," Downes says she acquired the name of the 
 famous Mrs. Barry, both at court and in the city. " Mrs. Barry," 
 says Dryden, in his preface to " Cleomenes," " always excellent, 
 has in this tragedy excelled herself, and gained a reputation 
 beyond any woman I have ever seen on the theatre." " In 
 characters of greatness," says Cibber, " Mrs. Barry had a presence 
 of elevated dignity ; her mien and motion superb, and gracefully 
 majestic; her voice full, clear, and strong, so that no violence of 
 passion could be too much for her ; and when distress or tender- 
 ness possessed her, she subsided into the most affecting melody 
 and softness. In the art of exciting pity, she had a power 
 beyond all the actresses I have yet seen, or what your imagination 
 can conceive. In scenes of anger, defiance, or resentment, while 
 she was impetuous and terrible, she poured out the sentiment 
 with an enchanting harmony, and it was this particular excel- 
 lence for which Dryden made her the above-recited compliment, 
 upon her acting Cassandra in his ' Cleomenes.' She was the 
 first person whose merit was distinguished by the indulgence of 
 having an annual benefit play, which was granted to her alone in 
 King James's time, and which did not become common to others 
 till the division of this company, after the death of King William 
 and Queen Mary." — Cibber's Apology, 1750, p. 133. She died 
 7th November, 17 13, and was buried at Acton. The inscription 
 over her remains says she was fifty-five years of age. 
 
334 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 withstanding his absence, and the promises he had 
 given the Chevalier de Grammont at parting ; he 
 now, therefore, endeavoured to banish her entirely 
 from his thoughts by fixing his desires upon some 
 other object ; but he saw no one in the queen's 
 new court whom he thought worthy of his at- 
 tention. Miss Boynton, 1 however, thought him 
 worthy of hers. Her person was slender and 
 delicate, to which a good complexion and large 
 motionless eyes gave at a distance an appearance 
 of beauty, that vanished upon nearer inspection ; 
 she affected to lisp, to languish, and to have two 
 or three fainting-fits a day. The first time that 
 Talbot cast his eyes upon her she was seized with 
 one of these fits ; he was told that she swooned 
 away upon his account ; he believed it, was eager 
 to afford her assistance, and ever after that acci- 
 dent showed her some kindness, more with the 
 intention of saving her life than to express any 
 affection he felt for her. This seeming tenderness 
 was well received, and at first she was visibly 
 affected by it. Talbot was one of the tallest men 
 in England, and in all appearance one of the most 
 robust ; yet she showed sufficiently that she was 
 willing to expose the delicacy of her constitution 
 to whatever might happen, in order to become his 
 wife, which event, perhaps, might then have taken 
 
 1 Daughter of Matthew Boynton, second son of Sir Matthew 
 Boynton of Barmston, in Yorkshire. The sister of this lady 
 married the celebrated Earl of Roscommon. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 335 
 
 place, as it did afterward, had not the charms of 
 the fair Jennings at that time proved an obstacle 
 to her wishes. 
 
 I know not how it came to pass that he had not 
 yet seen her, though he had heard her much 
 praised, and her prudence, wit, and vivacity 
 equally commended; he believed all this upon 
 the faith of common report. He thought it 
 very singular that discretion and sprightliness 
 should be so intimately united in a person so 
 young, more particularly in the midst of a court 
 where love and gallantry were so much in fash- 
 ion ; but he found her personal accomplishments 
 greatly to exceed whatever fame had reported 
 of them. 
 
 As it was not long before he perceived he was 
 in love, neither was it long before he made a dec- 
 laration of it ; as his passion was likely enough to 
 be real, Miss Jennings thought she might believe 
 him, without exposing herself to the imputation of 
 vanity. Talbot was possessed of a fine and bril- 
 liant exterior, his manners were noble and majes- 
 tic ; besides this, he was particularly distinguished 
 by the favour and friendship of the duke, but his 
 most essential merit, with her, was his forty thou- 
 sand pounds a year, landed property, besides his 
 employments. All these qualities came within 
 the rules and maxims she had resolved to follow 
 with respect to lovers ; thus, though he had not 
 the satisfaction to obtain from her an entire decla- 
 
336 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ration of her sentiments, he had at least the pleas- 
 ure of being better received than those who had 
 paid their addresses to her before him. 
 
 No person attempted to interrupt his happiness, 
 and Miss Jennings, perceiving that the duchess 
 approved of Talbot's pretensions, and after having 
 well weighed the matter, and consulted her own 
 inclinations, found that her reason was more fa- 
 vourable to him than her heart, and that the most 
 she could do for his satisfaction was to marry 
 him without reluctance. 
 
 Talbot, too fortunate in a preference which no 
 man had before experienced, did not examine 
 whether it was to her heart or to her head that 
 he was indebted for it, and his thoughts were 
 solely occupied in hastening the accomplishment 
 of his wishes. One would have sworn that the 
 happy minute was at hand ; but love would no 
 longer be love, if he did not delight in obstruct- 
 ing, or in overturning the happiness of those who 
 live under his dominion. 
 
 Talbot, who found nothing reprehensible either 
 in the person, in the conversation, or in the repu- 
 tation of Miss Jennings, was, however, rather 
 concerned at a new acquaintance she had lately 
 formed ; and having taken upon him to give her 
 some cautions upon this subject, she was much 
 displeased at his conduct. 
 
 Miss Price, formerly maid of honour, that had 
 been set aside, as we have before mentioned, upon 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 337 
 
 her leaving the duchess's service, had recourse to 
 Lady Castlemaine's protection. She had a very 
 entertaining wit, her complaisance was adapted 
 to all humours, and her own humour was pos- 
 sessed of a fund of gaiety and sprightliness which 
 diffused universal mirth and merriment wherever 
 she came. Her acquaintance with Miss Jennings 
 was prior to Talbot's. 
 
 As she was thoroughly acquainted with all the 
 intrigues of the court, she related them without 
 any manner of reserve to Miss Jennings, and her 
 own with the same frankness as the others. Miss 
 Jennings was extremely well pleased with her 
 stories ; for though she was determined to make 
 no experiment in love, but upon honourable terms, 
 she however was desirous of knowing from her 
 recitals all the different intrigues that were carry- 
 ing on ; thus, as she was never wearied with her 
 conversation, she was overjoyed whenever she 
 could see her. 
 
 Talbot, who remarked the extreme relish she 
 had for Miss Price's company, thought that the 
 reputation such a woman had in the world might 
 prove injurious to his mistress, more especially 
 from the particular intimacy there seemed to exist 
 between them ; whereupon, in the tone of a guard- 
 ian rather than a lover, he took upon him to chide 
 her for the disreputable company she kept. Miss 
 Jennings was haughty beyond conception, when 
 once she took it into her head ; and as she liked 
 
338 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Miss Price's conversation much better than Tal- 
 bot's, she took the liberty of desiring him "to 
 attend to his own affairs, and that if he only came 
 from Ireland to read lectures about her conduct, 
 he might take the trouble to go back as soon as 
 he pleased." He was offended at a sally which 
 he thought ill-timed, considering the situation of 
 affairs between them, and went out of her pres- 
 ence more abruptly than became the respect due 
 from a man greatly in love. He for some time 
 appeared offended ; but perceiving that he gained 
 nothing by such conduct, he grew weary of acting 
 that part, and assumed that of an humble lover, 
 in which he was equally unsuccessful ; neither his 
 repentance nor submissions could produce any 
 effect upon her, and the mutinous little gipsy was 
 still in the pouts when Jermyn returned to court. 
 
 It was above a year since he had triumphed 
 over the weakness of Lady Castlemaine, and 
 above two since the king had been weary of his 
 triumphs. His uncle, being one of the first who 
 perceived the king's disgust, obliged him to absent 
 himself from court, at the very time that orders 
 were going to be issued for that purpose; for 
 though the king's affections for Lady Castle- 
 maine were now greatly diminished, yet he did 
 not think it consistent with his dignity that a mis- 
 tress, whom he had honoured with public distinc- 
 tion, and who still received a considerable support 
 from him, should appear chained to the car of the 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 3$$ 
 
 most ridiculous conqueror that ever existed. His 
 Majesty had frequently expostulated with the 
 countess upon this subject, but his expostula- 
 tions were never attended to ; it was in one of 
 these differences that he, advising her rather to 
 bestow her favours upon Jacob Hall, the rope- 
 dancer, who was able to return them, than lavish 
 away her money upon Jermyn to no purpose, since 
 it would be more honourable for her to pass for 
 the mistress of the first, than for the very humble 
 servant of the other, she was not proof against his 
 raillery. The impetuosity of her temper broke 
 forth like lightning ; she told him " that it very ill 
 became him to throw out such reproaches against 
 one who, of all the women in England, deserved 
 them the least ; that he had never ceased quar- 
 relling thus unjustly with her, ever since he had 
 betrayed his own mean, low inclinations ; that to 
 gratify such a depraved taste as his, he wanted 
 only such silly things as Stewart, Wells, and that 
 pitiful strolling actress, 1 whom he had lately intro- 
 duced into their society." Floods of tears, from 
 rage, generally attended these storms ; after which 
 resuming the part of Medea, the scene closed with 
 menaces of tearing her children in pieces and set- 
 ting his palace on fire. What course could he 
 pursue with such an outrageous fury, who, beauti- 
 ful as she was, resembled Medea less than her 
 dragons, when she was thus enraged ! 
 1 Probably Nell Gwyn. 
 
340 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 The indulgent monarch loved peace ; and as he 
 seldom contended for it on these occasions without 
 paying something to obtain it, he was obliged to 
 be at great expense, in order to reconcile this last 
 rupture ; as they could not agree of themselves, 
 and both parties equally complained, the Chevalier 
 de Grammont was chosen, by mutual consent, 
 mediator of the treaty. The grievances and pre- 
 tensions on each side were communicated to him, 
 and what is very extraordinary, he managed so as 
 to please them both. Here follow the articles of 
 peace which they agreed to : 
 
 " That Lady Castlemaine should for ever abandon 
 Jermyn ; that as a proof of her sincerity, and the 
 reality of his disgrace, she should consent to his 
 being sent, for some time, into the country ; that 
 she should not rail any more against Miss Wells, 
 nor storm any more against Miss Stewart ; and 
 this without any restraint on the king's behaviour 
 toward her ; that in consideration of these con- 
 descensions, his Majesty should immediately give 
 her the title of duchess, 1 with all the honours and 
 privileges thereunto belonging, and an addition to 
 her pension, in order to enable her to support the 
 dignity." 
 
 As soon as this peace was proclaimed, the polit- 
 ical critics, who, in all nations, never fail to censure 
 all state proceedings, pretended that the mediator 
 
 1 The title of Duchess of Cleveland was conferred on her 3d 
 August, 22 Charles II., 1670. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 341 
 
 of this treaty, being every day at play with Lady 
 Castlemaine, and never losing, had, for his own 
 sake, insisted a little too strongly upon this last 
 article. 
 
 Some days after, she was created Duchess of 
 Cleveland, and little Jermyn repaired to his coun- 
 try-seat ; however, it was in his power to have 
 returned in a fortnight, for the Chevalier de 
 Grammont, having procured the king's permission, 
 carried it to the Earl of St. Albans. This revived 
 the good old man; but it was to little purpose 
 he transmitted it to his nephew, for, whether he 
 wished to make the London beauties deplore and 
 lament his absence, or whether he wished them 
 to declaim against the injustice of the age, or rail 
 against the tyranny of the prince, he continued 
 above half a year in the country, setting up for a 
 little philosopher, under the eyes of the sportsmen 
 in the neighbourhood, who regarded him as an 
 extraordinary instance of the caprice of fortune. 
 He thought the part he acted so glorious, that 
 he would have continued there much longer had he 
 not heard of Miss Jennings. He did not, however, 
 pay much attention to what his friends wrote to 
 him concerning her charms, being persuaded he 
 had seen equally as great in others. What was re- 
 lated to him of her pride and resistance appeared 
 to him of far greater consequence, and to subdue 
 the last, he even looked upon as an action worthy 
 of his prowess ; and quitting his retreat for this 
 
342 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 purpose, he arrived in London at the time that 
 Talbot, who was really in love, had quarrelled, in 
 his opinion, so unjustly with Miss Jennings. 
 
 She had heard Jermyn spoken of as a hero in 
 affairs of love and gallantry. Miss Price, in the 
 recital of those of the Duchess of Cleveland, had 
 often mentioned him, without in any respect dimin- 
 ishing the insignificancy with which fame insinu- 
 ated he had conducted himself in those amorous 
 encounters ; she nevertheless had the greatest 
 curiosity to see a man, whose entire person, she 
 thought, must be a moving trophy, and monument 
 of the favours and freedoms of the fair sex. 
 
 Thus Jermyn arrived at the right time to satisfy 
 her curiosity by his presence ; and though his bril- 
 liancy appeared a little tarnished by his residence 
 in the country, though his head was larger and 
 his legs more slender than usual, yet the giddy 
 girl thought she had never seen any man so per- 
 fect ; and yielding to her destiny, she fell in love 
 with him, a thousand times more unaccountably 
 than all the others had done before her. Every- 
 body remarked this change of conduct in her with 
 surprise ; for they expected something more from 
 the delicacy of a person who, till this time, had 
 behaved with so much propriety in all her actions. 
 
 Jermyn was not in the least surprised at this 
 conquest, though not a little proud of it ; for his 
 heart had very soon as great a share in it as 
 his vanity. Talbot, who saw with amazement the 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 343 
 
 rapidity of this triumph, and the disgrace of his 
 own defeat, was ready to die with jealousy and 
 spite ; yet he thought it would be more to his 
 credit to die than to vent those passions unprofit- 
 ably ; and shielding himself under a feigned indif- 
 ference, he kept at a distance to view how far 
 such an extravagant prepossession would proceed. 
 
 In the meantime Jermyn quietly enjoyed the 
 happiness of seeing the inclinations of the prettiest 
 and most extraordinary creature in England de- 
 clared in his favour. The duchess, who had taken 
 her under her protection ever since she had de- 
 clined placing herself under that of the duke, 
 sounded Jermyn's intentions toward her, and was 
 satisfied with the assurances she received from a 
 man, whose probity infinitely exceeded his merit 
 in love ; he therefore let all the court see that he 
 was willing to marry her, though, at the same time, 
 he did not appear particularly desirous of hastening 
 the consummation. Every person now compli- 
 mented Miss Jennings upon having reduced to this 
 situation the terror of husbands, and the plague 
 of lovers ; the court was in full expectation of this 
 miracle, and Miss Jennings of a near approaching 
 happy settlement. But in this world one must have 
 fortune in one's favour, before one can calculate 
 with certainty upon happiness. 
 
 The king did not use to let Lord Rochester 
 remain so long in exile ; he grew weary of it, and 
 being displeased that he was forgotten, he posted 
 
344 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 up to London to wait till it might be his Majesty's 
 pleasure to recall him. 
 
 He first took up his habitation in the city, 
 among the capital tradesmen and rich merchants, 
 where politeness indeed is not so much cultivated 
 as at court, but where pleasure, luxury, and abun- 
 dance reign with less confusion, and more sincerity. 
 His first design was only to be initiated into the 
 mysteries of those fortunate and happy inhabitants ; 
 that is to say, by changing his name and dress, 
 to gain admittance to their feasts and entertain- 
 ments ; and, as occasion offered, to those of their 
 loving spouses ; as he was able to adapt himself 
 to all capacities and humours, he soon deeply 
 insinuated himself into the esteem of the substan- 
 tial wealthy aldermen, and into the affections of 
 their more delicate, magnificent, and tender ladies. 
 He made one in all their feasts, and at all their 
 assemblies ; and whilst, in the company of the 
 husbands, he declaimed against the faults and 
 mistakes of government, he joined their wives in 
 railing against the profligacy of the court ladies, 
 and in inveighing against the king's mistresses ; 
 he agreed with them that the industrious poor 
 were to pay for these cursed extravagances ; that 
 the city beauties were not inferior to those of the 
 other end of the town, and yet a sober husband 
 in this quarter of the town was satisfied with one 
 wife ; after which, to outdo their murmurings, 
 he said, that he wondered Whitehall was not yet 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 345 
 
 consumed by fire from heaven, since such rakes 
 as Rochester, Killegrew, and Sidney were suffered 
 there, who had the impudence to assert that all 
 married men in the city were cuckolds, and all 
 their wives painted. This conduct endeared him 
 so much to the cits, and made him so welcome at 
 their clubs, that at last he grew sick of their 
 cramming and endless invitations. 
 
 But, instead of approaching nearer the court, he 
 retreated into one of the most obscure corners 
 of the city ; where, again changing both his name 
 and dress, in order to act a new part, he caused 
 bills to be dispersed, giving notice of "The recent 
 arrival of a famous German doctor, 1 who, by long 
 application and experience, had found out wonder- 
 ful secrets, and infallible remedies." His secrets 
 consisted in knowing what was past, and foretelling 
 what was to come, by the assistance of astrology ; 
 and the virtue of his remedies principally con- 
 
 1 Bishop Burnet confirms this account. " Being under an 
 unlucky accident, which obliged him to keep out of the way, he 
 disguised himself so, that his nearest friends could not have 
 known him, and set up in Tower Street for an Italian mounte- 
 bank, where he practised physic for some weeks, not without 
 success. In his latter years he read books of history more. He 
 took pleasure to disguise himself as a porter, or as a beggar, 
 sometimes to follow some mean amours, which, for the variety 
 of them, he affected. At other times, merely for diversion, he 
 would go about in odd shapes; in which he acted his part so 
 naturally, that even those who were in the secret, and saw him 
 in these shapes, could perceive nothing by which he might be 
 discovered." — Burnet's Life of Rochester, ed. 1774, p. 14. 
 
346 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 sisted in giving present relief to unfortunate young 
 women in all manner of diseases, and all kinds of 
 accidents incident to the fair sex, either from too 
 unbounded charity to their neighbours, or too great 
 indulgence to themselves. 
 
 His first practice, being confined to his neigh- 
 bourhood, was not very considerable ; but his 
 reputation soon extending to the other end of 
 the town, there presently flocked to him the 
 women attending on the court, next the chamber- 
 maids of ladies of quality, who, upon the wonders 
 they related concerning the German doctor, were 
 soon followed by some of their mistresses. 
 
 Among all the compositions of a ludicrous and 
 satirical kind, there never existed any that could 
 be compared to those of Lord Rochester, either 
 for humour, fire, or wit ; but, of all his works, the 
 most ingenious and entertaining is that which 
 contains a detail of the intrigues and adventures 
 in which he was engaged while he professed medi- 
 cine and astrology in the suburbs of London. 
 
 The fair Jennings was very near getting a place 
 in this collection ; but the adventure that pre- 
 vented her from it, did not, however, conceal from 
 the public her intention of paying a visit to the 
 German doctor. 
 
 The first chambermaids that consulted him 
 were only those of the maids of honour, who 
 had numberless questions to ask, and not a few 
 doubts to be resolved, both on their own and their 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 347 
 
 mistresses' accounts. Notwithstanding their dis- 
 guise, he recognised some of them, particularly 
 Miss Temple's and Miss Price's maids, and her 
 whom Miss Hobart had lately discarded. These 
 creatures all returned either filled with wonder 
 and amazement, or petrified with terror and fear. 
 Miss Temple's chambermaid deposed that he as- 
 sured her she would have the small pox, and her 
 mistress the great, within two months at the 
 farthest, if her aforesaid mistress did not guard 
 against a man in woman's clothes. Miss Price's 
 woman affirmed that, without knowing her, and 
 only looking in her hand, he told her at first sight, 
 that, according to the course of the stars, he per- 
 ceived that she was in the service of some good- 
 natured lady, who had no other fault than that of 
 loving wine and men. In short, every one of 
 them, struck with some particular circumstance 
 relating to their own private affairs, had either 
 alarmed or diverted their mistresses with the 
 account, not failing, according to custom, to em- 
 bellish the truth, in order to enhance the wonder. 
 Miss Price, relating these circumstances one 
 day to her new friend, the devil immediately 
 tempted her to go in person, and see what sort 
 of a creature this new magician was. This enter- 
 prise was certainly very rash ; but nothing was too 
 rash for Miss Jennings, who was of opinion that a 
 woman might despise appearances, provided she 
 was in reality virtuous. Miss Price was all com- 
 
348 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 pliance, and thus having fixed upon this glorious 
 resolution, they only thought of the proper means 
 of putting it into execution. 
 
 It was very difficult for Miss Jennings to dis- 
 guise herself, on account of her excessive fair and 
 bright complexion, and of something particular in 
 her air and manner ; however, after having well 
 considered the matter, the best disguise they 
 could think of was to dress themselves like 
 orange-girls. 1 This was no sooner resolved upon, 
 
 1 These frolics appear to have been not unfrequent with 
 persons of high rank at this period. In a letter from Mr. Hen- 
 shaw to Sir Robert Paston, afterward Earl of Yarmouth, dated 
 October 13, 1670, we have the following account : " Last week, 
 there being a faire neare Audley-end, the queen, the Duchess of 
 Richmond, and the Duchess of Buckingham, had a frolick to dis- 
 guise themselves like country lasses, in red petticotes, wastcotes, 
 etc., and so goe see the faire. Sir Barnard Gascoign, on a cart 
 jade, rode before the queen ; another stranger before the Dutch- 
 ess of Buckingham ; and Mr. Roper before Richmond. They had 
 all so overdone it in their disguise, and looked so much more like 
 antiques than country volk, that, as soon as they came to the 
 faire, the people began to goe after them ; but the queen going 
 to a booth, to buy a pair of yellow stockings for her sweet hart, 
 and Sir Bernard asking for a pair of gloves sticht with blew, for 
 his sweet hart, they were soon, by their gebrish, found to be 
 strangers, which drew a bigger flock about them. One amongst 
 them had seen the queen at dinner, knew her, and was proud of 
 her knowledge. This soon brought all the faire into a crowd 
 to stare at the queen. Being thus discovered, they, as soon as 
 they could, got to their horses ; but as many of the faire as had 
 horses got up, with their wives, children, sweet harts, or neigh- 
 bours, behind them, to get as much gape as they could till they 
 brought them to the court gate. Thus, by ill conduct, was a 
 merry frolick turned into a penance." — Ive's Select Papers, p. 39. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 349 
 
 but it was put in execution. They attired themselves 
 alike, and, taking each a basket of oranges under 
 their arms, they embarked in a hackney-coach, and 
 committed themselves to fortune, without any other 
 escort than their own caprice and indiscretion. 
 
 The duchess was gone to the play with her 
 sister ; Miss Jennings had excused herself under 
 pretence of indisposition. She was overjoyed at 
 the happy commencement of their adventure, for 
 they had disguised themselves, had crossed the 
 park, and taken their hackney-coach at White- 
 hall gate, without the least accident. They mutu- 
 ally congratulated each other upon it, and Miss 
 Price, taking a beginning so prosperous as a good 
 omen of their success, asked her companion what 
 they were to do at the fortune-teller's, and what 
 they should propose to him. 
 
 Miss Jennings told her that, for her part, curi- 
 osity was her principal inducement for going 
 thither ; that, however, she was resolved to ask 
 him, without naming any person, why a man, who 
 was in love with a handsome young lady, was not 
 urgent to marry her, since this was in his power 
 to do, and by so doing he would have an oppor- 
 tunity of gratifying his desires. Miss Price told 
 her, smiling, that, without going to the astrolo- 
 ger, nothing was more easy than to explain the 
 enigma, as she herself had almost given her a 
 solution of it in the narrative of the Duchess of 
 Cleveland's adventures. 
 
35© COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Having by this time nearly arrived at the play- 
 house, Miss Price, after a moment's reflection, 
 said, that since fortune favoured them, a fair op- 
 portunity was now offered to signalise their cour- 
 age, which was to go and sell oranges in the very 
 playhouse, in the sight of the duchess and the 
 whole court. The proposal being worthy of the 
 sentiments of the one, and of the vivacity of 
 the other, they immediately alighted, paid off their 
 hack, and, running through the midst of an im- 
 mense number of coaches, with great difficulty 
 they reached the playhouse door. Sidney, more 
 handsome than the beautiful Adonis, and dressed 
 more gay than usual, alighted just then from his 
 coach. Miss Price went boldly up to him, as he 
 was adjusting his curls, but he was too much 
 occupied with his own dear self to attend to any- 
 thing else, and so passed on without deigning to 
 give her an answer. Killegrew came next, and 
 the fair Jennings, partly encouraged by the 
 other's pertness, advanced toward him, and of- 
 fered him her basket, whilst Price, more used to 
 the language, desired him to buy her fine oranges. 
 " Not now," said he, looking at them with atten- 
 tion, "but if thou wilt to-morrow morning bring 
 this young girl to my lodgings, I will make it 
 worth all the oranges in London to thee ; " and 
 while he thus spoke to the one he chucked the 
 other under the chin, examining her bosom. 
 These familiarities making little Jennings forget 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 351 
 
 the part she was acting, after having pushed him 
 away with all the violence she was able, she told 
 him with indignation that it was very insolent to 
 dare — " Ha ! ha ! " said he, " here's a rarity in- 
 deed ! a young , who, the better to sell her 
 
 goods, sets up for virtue, and pretends inno- 
 cence ! " 
 
 Price immediately perceived that nothing could 
 be gained by continuing any longer in so danger- 
 ous a place ; and, taking her companion under the 
 arm, she dragged her away, while she was still 
 in emotion at the insult that had been offered 
 to her. 
 
 Miss Jennings, resolving to sell no more 
 oranges on these terms, was tempted to return 
 without accomplishing the other adventure ; but 
 Price having represented to her the disgrace of 
 such cowardly behaviour, more particularly after 
 having before manifested so much resolution, she 
 consented to go and pay the astrologer a short 
 visit, so as they might be enabled to regain the 
 palace before the play was ended. 
 
 They had one of the doctor's bills for a direc- 
 tion, but there was no occasion for it ; for the 
 driver of the coach they had taken told them 
 he knew very well the place they wanted, for he 
 had already carried above an hundred persons to 
 the German doctor's. They were within half a 
 street of his house, when fortune thought proper 
 to play them a trick. 
 
352 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Brounker ' had dined by chance with a mer- 
 chant in that part of the city, and just as he was 
 going away they ordered their coach to stop, as 
 ill luck would have it, just opposite to him. Two 
 orange-girls in a hackney-coach, one of whom 
 appeared to have a very pretty face, immediately 
 drew his attention ; besides, he had a natural 
 curiosity for such objects. 
 
 Of all the men at court, he had the least regard 
 for the fair sex, and the least attention to their 
 reputation. He was not young, nor was his per- 
 son agreeable ; however, with a great deal of wit, 
 he had a violent passion for women. He did 
 himself justice respecting his own merit, and, be- 
 ing persuaded that he could only succeed with 
 those who were desirous of having his money, 
 he was at open war with all the rest. He had 
 a little country house four or five miles from Lon- 
 
 1 Gentleman of the chamber to the Duke of York, and 
 brother to Lord Viscount Brounker, president of the Royal 
 Society. Lord Clarendon imputes to him the cause of the 
 great sea-fight, in 1665, not being so well improved as it might 
 have been, and adds. " nor did the duke come to hear of it till 
 some years after, when Mr. Brounker's ill course of life, and his 
 abominable nature, had rendered him so odious that it was 
 taken notice of in Parliament, and upon examination found 
 to be true, as is here related ; upon which he was expelled 
 the House of Commons, whereof he was a member, as an 
 infamous person, though his friend Coventry adhered to him, 
 and used many indirect acts to have protected him, and after- 
 ward procured him to have more countenance from the king 
 than mast men thought he deserved." — Continuation of Claren- 
 don's Life, p. 270. 
 
MISS JENNINGS AND MISS PRICE DISGUISED AS ORANGE GIRLS 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 353 
 
 don, always well stocked with girls ; ' in other 
 respects he was a very honest man, and the best 
 chess-player in England. 
 
 Price, alarmed at being thus closely examined 
 by the most dangerous enemy they could en- 
 counter, turned her head the other way, bid her 
 companion do the same, and told the coachman 
 to drive on. Brounker followed them unperceived 
 on foot ; and the coach having stopped twenty or 
 thirty yards farther up the street, they alighted. 
 He was just behind them, and formed the same 
 judgment of them which a man much more chari- 
 table to the sex must unavoidably have done, con- 
 cluding that Miss Jennings was a young courtesan 
 upon the lookout, and that Miss Price was the 
 mother-abbess. He was, however, surprised to 
 see them have much better shoes and stockings 
 than women of that rank generally wear, and 
 that the little orange-girl, in getting out of a 
 very high coach, showed one of the handsomest 
 legs he had ever seen ; but as all this was no 
 obstruction to his designs, he resolved to purchase 
 her, at any rate, in order to place her in his 
 seraglio. 
 
 He came up to them as they were giving their 
 baskets in guard to the coachman, with orders 
 to wait for them exactly in that place. Brounker 
 
 1 " Brounker, Love's squire, through all the field array'd, 
 No troop was better clad, nor so well paid." 
 
 — Andrew MarvelVs Poems, vol. ii. p. 94. 
 
354 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 immediately pushed in between them. As soon as 
 they saw him, they gave themselves up for lost, 
 but he, without taking the least notice of their 
 surprise, took Price aside with one hand, and 
 his purse with the other, and began immediately 
 to enter upon business, but was astonished to 
 perceive that she turned away her face, without 
 either answering or looking at him ; as this con- 
 duct appeared to him unnatural, he stared her full 
 in the face, notwithstanding all her endeavours 
 to prevent him ; he did the same to the other, 
 and immediately recognised them, but determined 
 to conceal his discovery. 
 
 The old fox possessed a wonderful command of 
 temper on such occasions, and having teased them 
 a little longer, to remove all suspicions, he quitted 
 them, telling Price, "that she was a great fool 
 to refuse his offers, and that her girl would not, 
 perhaps, get so much in a year as she might with 
 him in one day; that the times were greatly 
 changed since the queen's and the duchess's 
 maids of honour forestalled the market, and were 
 to be had cheaper than the town ladies." Upon 
 this he went back to his coach, whilst they 
 blessed themselves, returning Heaven their most 
 hearty thanks for having escaped this danger with- 
 out being discovered. 
 
 Brounker, on the other hand, would not have 
 taken a thousand guineas for this rencounter. He 
 blessed the Lord that he had not alarmed them 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 355 
 
 to such a degree as to frustrate their intention ; 
 for he made no doubt but Miss Price had man- 
 aged some intrigue for Miss Jennings. He there- 
 fore immediately concluded, that at present it 
 would be improper to make known his discovery, 
 which would have answered no other end but to 
 have overwhelmed them with confusion. 
 
 Upon this account, although Jermyn was one 
 of his best friends, he felt a secret joy in not 
 having prevented his being made a cuckold before 
 his marriage ; and the apprehension he was in of 
 preserving him from that accident was his sole 
 reason for quitting them with the precautions 
 aformentioned. 
 
 Whilst they Were under these alarms, their 
 coachman was engaged in a squabble with some 
 blackguard boys who had gathered round his 
 coach in order to steal the oranges ; from words 
 they came to blows ; the two nymphs saw the 
 commencement of the' fray as they were returning 
 to the coach, after having abandoned the design 
 of going to the fortune-teller's. Their coachman 
 being a man of spirit, it was with great difficulty 
 they could persuade him to leave their oranges 
 to the mob, that they might get off without any 
 further disturbance. Having thus regained their 
 hack, after a thousand frights, and after having re- 
 ceived an abundant share of the most low and in- 
 famous abuse applied to them during the fracas, they 
 at length reached St. James's, vowing never more to 
 
356 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 go after fortune-tellers, through so many dangers, 
 terrors, and alarms, as they had lately undergone. 
 
 Brounker, who, from the indifferent opinion he 
 entertained of the fair sex, would have staked his 
 life that Miss Jennings did not return from this 
 expedition in the same condition she went, kept 
 his thoughts, however, a profound secret ; since it 
 would have afforded him the highest satisfaction 
 to have seen the all-fortunate Jermyn marry a little 
 street- walker, who pretended to pass for a pattern 
 of chastity, that he might, the day after his mar- 
 riage, congratulate him upon his virtuous spouse ; 
 but Heaven was not disposed to afford him that 
 satisfaction, as will appear in the sequel of these 
 memoirs. 
 
 Miss Hamilton was in the country, as we before 
 mentioned, at a relation's. The Chevalier de 
 Grammont bore this short absence of hers with 
 great uneasiness, since she would not allow him 
 permission to visit her there, upon any pretence 
 whatever ; but play, which was favourable to him, 
 was no small relief to his extreme impatience. 
 
 Miss Hamilton, however, at last returned. Mrs. 
 Wetenhall ' (for that was the name of her relation) 
 would by all means wait upon her to London, in 
 
 1 Elizabeth, daughter of Sir Henry Bedingfield, and wife of 
 Thomas Wetenhall, of Hextall Court, near East Peckham, in the 
 county of Kent. — See Collins 's Baronetage, p. 216. The family 
 of Whetenhall, or Whetnall, was possessed of the estate of 
 Hextall Court from the time of Henry VIII. until within a few 
 years past, when one of them, Henry Whetenhall, Esq., alienated 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 357 
 
 appearance out of politeness ; for ceremony, car- 
 ried beyond all bearing, is the grand characteristic 
 of country gentry ; yet this mark of civility was 
 only a pretence to obtain a peevish husband's 
 consent to his wife's journey to town. Perhaps 
 he would have done himself the honour of con- 
 ducting Miss Hamilton up to London, had he not 
 been employed in writing some remarks upon the 
 ecclesiastical history, a work in which he had long 
 been engaged. The ladies were more civil than 
 to interrupt him in his undertaking, and besides, 
 it would entirely have disconcerted all Mrs. We- 
 tenhall's schemes. 
 
 This lady was what may be properly called a 
 beauty ; entirely English, made up of lilies and 
 roses, of snow and milk, as to colour, and of wax, 
 with respect to the arms, hands, neck, and feet, 
 but all this without either animation or air ; her 
 face was uncommonly pretty, but there was no 
 variety, no change of countenance in it. One 
 would have thought she took it in the morning 
 out of a case, in order to put it up again at night, 
 without using it in the smallest degree in the day- 
 time. What can I say of her ? Nature had formed 
 her a baby from her infancy, and a baby remained 
 till death the fair Mrs. Wetenhall. Her husband 
 
 it to John Fane, Earl of Westmoreland. Of this family was 
 Edward Whetenhall, a celebrated polemical writer, who, in 1678, 
 was consecrated Bishop of Corke and Ross. — See Wood's Athena 
 Oxoniensis, vol. ii. p. 851, 998. 
 
358 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 had been destined for the Church ; but his elder 
 brother dying just at the time he had gone through 
 his studies of divinity, instead of taking orders, he 
 came to England, and took to wife Miss Beding- 
 field, the lady of whom we are now speaking. 
 
 His person was not disagreeable, but he had a 
 serious, contemplative air, very apt to occasion dis- 
 gust ; as for the rest, she might boast of having 
 one of the greatest theologists in the kingdom for 
 her husband. He was all day poring over his 
 books, and went to bed soon, in order to rise early ; 
 so that his wife found him snoring when she came 
 to bed, and when he arose he left her there sound 
 asleep. His conversation at table would have been 
 very brisk, if Mrs. Wetenhall had been as great a 
 proficient in divinity, or as great a lover of contro- 
 versy, as he was ; but being neither learned in the 
 former, nor desirous of the latter, silence reigned 
 at their table as absolutely as at a refectory. 
 
 She had often expressed a great desire to see 
 London ; but though they were only distant a very 
 short day's journey from it, she had never been 
 able to satisfy her curiosity ; it was not therefore 
 without reason that she grew w%ary of the life she 
 was forced to lead at Peckham. 1 The melancholy, 
 
 1 " Peckham is about ten miles off Tunbridge Wells. Sir 
 William Twisden has an ancient mansion here, which has been 
 long in that family." — Burr's History of Tunbridge Wells, 8vo, 
 1766, p. 237. Mr. Hasted says, the estate was purchased by Sir 
 William Twisden of Henry Whetenhall, Esq. — Hastens Kent, 
 vol. ii. p. 274. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 359 
 
 retired situation of the place was to her insupport- 
 able, and as she had the folly, incident to many 
 other women, of believing sterility to be a kind of 
 reproach, she was very much hurt to see that she 
 might fall under that suspicion ; for she was 
 persuaded that, although Heaven had denied her 
 children, she nevertheless had all the necessary 
 requisites on her part, if it had been the will of 
 the Lord. This had occasioned her to make some 
 reflections, and then to reason upon those reflec- 
 tions ; as, for instance, that since her husband 
 chose rather to devote himself to his studies, than 
 to the duties of matrimony, to turn over musty old 
 books, rather than attend to the attractions of 
 beauty, and to gratify his own pleasures rather 
 than those of his wife, it might be permitted her 
 to relieve some necessitous lover, in neighbourly 
 charity, provided she could do it conscientiously, 
 and to direct her inclinations in so just a man- 
 ner, that the evil spirit should have no concern 
 in it. Mr. Wetenhall, a zealous partisan for the 
 doctrine of the casuists, would not perhaps have 
 approved of these decisions, but he was not 
 consulted. 
 
 The greatest misfortune was, that neither soli- 
 tary Peckham, nor its sterile neighbourhood, pre- 
 sented any expedients, either for the execution of 
 the aforementioned design, or for the relief of poor 
 Mrs. Wetenhall. She was visibly pining away, 
 when, through fear of dying either with solitude 
 
360 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 or of want, she had recourse to Miss Hamilton's 
 commiseration. 
 
 Their first acquaintance was formed at Paris, 
 whither Mr. Wetenhall had taken his wife half a 
 year after they were married, on a journey thither 
 to buy books. Miss Hamilton, who from that very 
 time greatly pitied her, consented to pass some 
 time in the country with her, in hopes by that 
 visit to deliver her, for a short time at least, out 
 of her captivity ; which project succeeded accord- 
 ing to her wish. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, being informed of 
 the day on which they were to arrive, borne on the 
 wings of love and impatience, had engaged George 
 Hamilton to go with him, and meet them some 
 miles out of London. The equipage he had pre- 
 pared for the purpose corresponded with his usual 
 magnificence, and, on such an occasion, we may 
 reasonably suppose he had not neglected his per- 
 son ; however, with all his impatience, he checked 
 the ardour of the coachman, through fear of acci- 
 dents, rightly judging that upon a road prudence 
 is preferable to eagerness. The ladies at length 
 appeared, and Miss Hamilton being in his eyes 
 ten or twelve times more handsome than before 
 her departure from London, he would have pur- 
 chased with his life so kind a reception as she gave 
 her brother. 
 
 Mrs. Wetenhall had her share of the praises, 
 which at this interview were liberally bestowed 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 361 
 
 upon her beauty, for which her beauty was very 
 thankful to those who did it so much honour ; and 
 as Hamilton regarded her with a tender attention, 
 she regarded Hamilton as a man very well qualified 
 for putting in execution the little projects she had 
 concerted with her conscience. 
 
 As soon as she was in London, her head was 
 almost turned, through an excess of contentment 
 and felicity ; everything appeared like enchant- 
 ment to her in this superb city ; more particularly, 
 as in Paris she had never seen anything farther 
 than the Rue Saint Jacques, and a few book- 
 sellers' shops. Miss Hamilton entertained her at 
 her own house, and she was presented, admired, 
 and well received at both courts. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, whose gallantry 
 and magnificence were inexhaustible, taking occa- 
 sion, from this fair stranger's arrival, to exhibit his 
 grandeur, nothing was to be seen but balls, con- 
 certs, plays, excursions by land and by water, 
 splendid colktions, and sumptuous entertainments. 
 Mrs. Wetenhall was transported with pleasures, of 
 which the greatest part were entirely new to her ; 
 she was greatly delighted with all, except now and 
 then at a play, when tragedy was acted, which she 
 confessed she thought rather wearisome ; she 
 agreed, however, that the show was very interest- 
 ing, when there were many people killed upon the 
 stage, but thought the players were very fine hand- 
 some fellows, who were much better alive than dead. 
 
362 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 Hamilton, upon the whole, was pretty well 
 treated by her, if a man in love, who is never 
 satisfied until the completion of his wishes, could 
 confine himself within the bounds of moderation 
 and reason. He used all his endeavours to deter- 
 mine her to put in execution the projects she had 
 formed at Peckham. Mrs. Wetenhall, on the other 
 hand, was much pleased with him. This is the 
 Hamilton who served in the French army with 
 distinction ; ' he was both agreeable and handsome. 
 All imaginable opportunities conspired to favour 
 the establishment of an intimacy, whose com- 
 mencement had been so brisk, that in all proba- 
 bility it would not languish for a conclusion ; but 
 the more he pressed her to it, the more her reso- 
 lution began to fail, and regard for some scruples, 
 which she had not well weighed, kept her in 
 suspense. There was reason to believe that a 
 little perseverance would have removed these 
 obstacles; yet this at the present time was not 
 attempted. Hamilton, not able to conceive what 
 could prevent her from completing his happiness, 
 since in his opinion the first and greatest difficul- 
 ties of an amour were already overcome, with 
 respect to the public, resolved to abandon her to 
 her irresolutions, instead of endeavouring to con- 
 quer them by a more vigorous attack. It was 
 
 1 1 apprehend he is the same George Hamilton already 
 described, who married Miss Jennings, and not the author of 
 this work, as Lord Orford supposes. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 363 
 
 not consistent with reason to desist from an 
 enterprise, where so many prospects of success 
 presented themselves, for such inconsiderable 
 obstacles ; but he suffered himself to be intoxi- 
 cated with chimeras and visions, which unseason- 
 ably cooled the vigour of his pursuit, and led him 
 astray in another unprofitable undertaking. 
 
 I know not whether poor Wetenhall took the 
 blame upon herself ; but it is certain, she was 
 extremely mortified upon it. Soon after being 
 obliged to return to her cabbages and turkeys 
 at Peckham, she had almost gone distracted ; 
 that residence appeared a thousand times more 
 dreadful to her, since she had been initiated into 
 the amusements of London ; but as the queen 
 was to set out within a month for Tunbridge 
 Wells, she was obliged to yield to necessity, and 
 to return to the philosopher, Wetenhall, with the 
 consolation of having engaged Miss Hamilton to 
 come and live at her house, which was within 
 ten or twelve miles of Tunbridge, as long as the 
 court remained there. 
 
 Miss Hamilton promised not to abandon her in 
 her retirement, and further engaged to bring the 
 Chevalier de Grammont along with her, whose 
 humour and condescension extremely delighted 
 her. The Chevalier de Grammont, who on all 
 occasions started agreeable raillery, engaged on his 
 part to bring George Hamilton, which words 
 overwhelmed her with blushes. 
 
364 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 The court set out soon after ■ to pass about two 
 months in the place of all Europe the most rural 
 and simple, and yet, at the same time, the most 
 entertaining and agreeable. 
 
 Tunbridge is the same distance from London 
 that Fontainebleau is from Paris, and is, at the 
 season, the general rendezvous of all the gay and 
 handsome of both sexes. The company, though 
 always numerous, is always select ; since those 
 who repair thither for diversion, ever exceed the 
 number of those who go thither for health. 
 Everything there breathes mirth and pleasure ; 
 constraint is banished, familiarity is established 
 upon the first acquaintance, and joy and pleasure 
 are the sole sovereigns of the place. 
 
 The company are accommodated with lodgings 
 in little clean and convenient habitations, that 
 lie straggling and separated from each other, a 
 mile and a half all around the Wells, where the 
 company meet in the morning. This place con- 
 sists of a long walk, shaded by spreading trees, 
 under which they walk while they are drinking the 
 waters. On one side of this walk is a long row of 
 shops, plentifully stocked with all manner of toys, 
 lace, gloves, stockings, and where there is raffling, 
 as at Paris, in the Foire de Saint Germain. On 
 the other side of the walk is the market ; and, as it 
 
 1 This was in 1664, probably as soon as the queen was suf- 
 ficiently recovered from the illness previously mentioned. — See 
 Burr's History of Tunbridge Wells, p. 43. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 365 
 
 is the custom here for every person to buy their 
 own provisions, care is taken that nothing offen- 
 sive appears on the stalls. Here young, fair, fresh- 
 coloured country girls, with clean linen, small 
 straw hats, and neat shoes and stockings, sell 
 game, vegetables, flowers, and fruit. Here one 
 may live as one pleases ; here is, likewise, deep 
 play, and no want of amorous intrigues. As soon 
 as the evening comes, every one quits his little 
 palace to assemble at the bowling-green, where, in 
 the open air, those who choose, dance upon a turf 
 more soft and smooth than the finest carpet in 
 the world. 
 
 Lord Muskerry ' had, within two or three short 
 miles of Tunbridge, a very handsome seat called 
 Summer-hill ; Miss Hamilton, after having spent 
 eight or ten days at Peckham, could not excuse 
 herself from passing the remainder of the season 
 at his house ; and, having obtained leave of Mr. 
 Wetenhall that his lady should accompany her, 
 they left the melancholy residence of Peckham, 
 
 1 Eldest son to the Earl of Clancarty ; " a young man," says 
 Lord Clarendon, " of extraordinary courage and expectation, 
 who had been colonel of a regiment of foot in Flanders, under 
 the duke, and had the general estimation of an excellent officer. 
 He was of the duke's bedchamber; and the earl (i. e., of Fal- 
 mouth) and he were, at that time, so near the duke, that his 
 Highness was all covered with their blood. There fell likewise, 
 in the same ship, and at the same instant, Mr. Richard Boyle, a 
 younger son of the Earl of Burlington, a youth of great hope." 
 — Continuation of Clarendon's Life, p. 266. 
 
366 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 and its tiresome master, and fixed their little court 
 at Summer-hill. 1 
 
 They went every day to court, or the court 
 came to them. The queen even surpassed her 
 usual attentions in inventing and supporting enter- 
 tainments ; she endeavoured to increase the nat- 
 ural ease and freedom of Tunbridge, by dispensing 
 with, rather than requiring, those ceremonies that 
 were due to her presence ; and, confining in the 
 bottom of her heart that grief and uneasiness she 
 could not overcome, she saw Miss Stewart tri- 
 umphantly possess the affections of the king, 
 without manifesting the least uneasiness. 
 
 Never did love see his empire in a more flourish- 
 ing condition than on this spot ; those who were 
 
 1 Lord Orford supposes this place came to Lord Muskerry 
 through the means of his elder brother; but in this he is mis- 
 taken, as it belonged to him in right of his wife, the only daugh- 
 ter of Lord Clanrickard. This seat is about five miles from the 
 Wells, and was once the residence and property of Sir Francis 
 Walsingham, from whom it descended to his daughter Frances, 
 who married first Sir Philip Sydney ; secondly, the unfortunate 
 Robert Devereux, Earl of Essex ; and lastly, Richard de Burgh, 
 Marquis of Clanrickard. In " Walker's History of Independ- 
 ence," we are told, that " Somer-hill, a pleasant seat, worth one 
 thousand pounds a year, belonging to the Earl of St. Albans 
 (who was also Marquis of Clanrickard), is given by the junta to 
 the bloodhound Bradshaw. So he hath warned the Countesse 
 of Leicester, who formerly had it in possession, to raise a debt 
 of three thousand pounds, pretended due to her from the said 
 earle (which she had already raised fourfold), to quiet the 
 possession against our Lord's day next." At the Restoration it 
 seems to have returned to its original owner. — History of 
 Kent, vol. ii. p. 341. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 367 
 
 smitten before they came to it, felt a mighty aug- 
 mentation of their flame ; and those who seemed 
 the least susceptible of love laid aside their natural 
 ferocity, to act in a new character. For the truth 
 of the latter, we shall only relate the change 
 which soon appeared in the conduct of Prince 
 Rupert. 1 
 
 1 Lord Orford's contrast to this character of Prince Rupert is 
 too just to be here omitted. " Born with the taste of an uncle 
 whom his sword was not fortunate in defending, Prince Rupert 
 was fond of those sciences which soften and adorn a hero's 
 private hours, and knew how to mix them with his minutes of 
 amusement, without dedicating his life to their pursuit, like us, 
 who, wanting capacity for momentous views, make serious study 
 of what is only the transitory occupation of a genius. Had the 
 court of the first Charles been peaceful, how agreeably had 
 the prince's congenial propensity flattered and confirmed the 
 inclination of his uncle ! How the muse of arts would have 
 repaid the patronage of the monarch, when, for his first artist, 
 she would have presented him with his nephew ! How different 
 a figure did the same prince make in a reign of dissimilar com- 
 plexion ! The philosophic warrior, who could relax himself into 
 the ornament of a refined court, was thought a savage mechanic, 
 when courtiers were only voluptuous wits. Let me transcribe a 
 picture of Prince Rupert, drawn by a man who was far from 
 having the least portion of wit in that age, who was superior to 
 its indelicacy, and who yet was so overborne by its prejudices, 
 that he had the complaisance to ridicule virtue, merit, talents. 
 — But Prince Rupert, alas ! was an awkward lover ! " Lord 
 Orford here inserts the character in the text, and then adds : 
 " What pity that we, who wish to transmit this prince's resem- 
 blance to posterity on a fairer canvass, have none of these 
 inimitable colours to efface the harsher likeness I We can but 
 oppose facts to wit, truth to satire. — How unequal the pencils I 
 Yet what these lines cannot do, they may suggest; they may 
 induce the reader to reflect, that if the prince was defective in 
 
368 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 He was brave and courageous, even to rash 
 ness, but cross-grained and incorrigibly obstinate; 
 his genius was fertile in mathematical experiments, 
 and he possessed some knowledge of chemistry ; 
 he was polite even to excess, unseasonably, but 
 haughty, and even brutal, when he ought to have 
 been gentle and courteous ; he was tall, and his 
 manners were ungracious ; he had a dry, hard- 
 favoured visage, and a stern look, even when he 
 wished to please, but when he was out of humour, 
 he was the true picture of reproof. 
 
 The queen had sent for the players, either that 
 there might be no intermission in the diversions 
 of the place, or, perhaps, to retort upon Miss 
 Stewart, by the presence of Nell Gwyn, part of 
 the uneasiness she felt from hers. Prince Rupert 
 found charms in the person of another player 
 called Hughes, 1 who brought down and greatly 
 subdued his natural fierceness. From this time, 
 adieu alembics, crucibles, furnaces, and all the 
 black furniture of the forges, a complete farewell 
 to all mathematical instruments and chemical spec- 
 
 the transient varnish of a court, he at least was adorned by the 
 arts with that polish which alone can make a court attract 
 the attention of subsequent ages." — Catalogue of Engravers, p. 
 135, 8vo ed. 
 
 1 Mrs. Hughes was one of the actresses belonging to the 
 king's company, and one of the earliest female performers. 
 According to Downes, she commenced her theatrical career after 
 the opening of Drury Lane Theatre, in 1663. She appears to 
 have been the first female representative of Desdemona. By 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 369 
 
 ulations ; sweet powder and essences were now 
 the only ingredients that occupied any share of 
 his attention. The impertinent gipsy chose to be 
 attacked in form ; and proudly refusing money, 
 that, in the end, she might sell her favours at 
 a dearer rate, she caused the poor prince to act 
 a part so unnatural, that he no longer appeared 
 like the same person. The king was greatly 
 pleased with this event, for which great rejoicings 
 were made at Tunbridge ; but nobody was bold 
 enough to make it the subject of satire, though 
 the same constraint was not observed with other 
 ridiculous personages. 
 
 There was dancing every day at the queen's 
 apartments, because the physicians recommended 
 it, and no person thought it amiss ; for even those 
 who cared the least for it, chose that exercise 
 to digest the waters rather than walking. Lord 
 Muskerry thought himself secure against his lady's 
 rage for dancing ; for, although he was ashamed 
 of it, the Princess of Babylon was, by the grace 
 of God, six or seven months advanced in preg- 
 
 Prince Rupert she had a daughter, named Ruperta, married to 
 Lieutenant-General Howe, who survived her husband many 
 years, dying at Somerset House, about the year 1740. For Mrs. 
 Hughes, Prince Rupert bought the magnificent seat of Sir 
 Nicholas Crispe, near Hammersmith, now the residence of the 
 Margrave of Brandenburgh, which cost ^25,000 the building. 
 From the dramatis persona to " Tom Essence," licensed 1676, we 
 find Mrs. Hughes was then on the stage, and in the duke's 
 company. 
 
37° COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 nancy ; and to complete her misfortune, the child 
 had fallen all on one side, so that even Euclid 
 would have been puzzled to say what her figure 
 was. The disconsolate lady, seeing Miss Hamil- 
 ton and Mrs. Wetenhall set out every morning, 
 sometimes on horseback and sometimes in a 
 coach, but ever attended by a gallant troop to 
 conduct them to court, and to convey them back, 
 she fancied a thousand times more delights at 
 Tunbridge than in reality there were, and she did 
 not cease, in her imagination, to dance over at 
 Summer-hill all the country dances which she 
 thought had been danced at Tunbridge. She 
 could no longer support the racking torments 
 which disturbed her mind, when relenting Heaven, 
 out of pity to her pains and sufferings, caused 
 Lord Muskerry to repair to London, and kept him 
 there two whole days ; as soon as ever he had 
 turned his back, the Babylonian princess declared 
 her resolution to make a trip to court. 
 
 She had a domestic chaplain who did not want 
 sense, and Lord Muskerry, for fear of accidents, 
 had recommended her to the wholesome counsels 
 and good prayers of this prudent divine ; but 
 in vain were all his preachings and exhortations 
 to stay at home ; in vain did he set before her 
 eyes her husband's commands, and the dangers 
 to which she would expose herself in her present 
 condition ; he likewise added that her pregnancy, 
 being a particular blessing from Heaven, she ought, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 371 
 
 therefore, to be so much the more careful for its 
 preservation, since it cost her husband, perhaps, 
 more trouble than she was aware of, to obtain it. 
 These remonstrances were altogether ineffectual ; 
 Miss Hamilton, and her cousin Wetenhall, having 
 the complaisance to confirm her in her resolution, 
 they assisted in dressing her the next morning, 
 and set out along with her. All their skill and 
 dexterity were requisite to reduce her shape into 
 some kind of symmetry ; but, having at last 
 pinned a small cushion under her petticoat on 
 the right side, to counteract the untoward appear- 
 ance the little infant occasioned by throwing itself 
 •on the left, they almost split their sides with 
 laughter, assuring her, at the same time, that 
 she looked perfectly charming. 
 
 As soon as she appeared, it was generally be- 
 lieved that she had dressed herself in a farthin- 
 gale in order to make her court to the queen ; but 
 every person was pleased at her arrival. Those 
 who were unacquainted with the circumstances 
 assured her in earnest that she was pregnant with 
 twins ; and the queen, who envied her condition, 
 notwithstanding the ridiculous appearance she 
 then made, being made acquainted with the mo- 
 tive of her journey, was determined to gratify her 
 inclinations. 
 
 As soon as the hour for country dances arrived, 
 her cousin Hamilton was appointed her partner. 
 She made some faint excuses at first on account 
 
372 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 of the inconvenient situation she was then in, but 
 soon suffered them to be overcome, in order, as 
 she said, to show her duty to the queen ; and 
 never did a woman in this world enjoy such com- 
 plete satisfaction. 
 
 We have already observed that the greatest 
 prosperity is liable to the greatest change. Lady 
 Muskerry, trussed up as she was, seemed to feel 
 no manner of uneasiness from the motion in dan- 
 cing ; on the contrary, being only apprehensive of 
 the presence of her husband, which would have 
 destroyed all her happiness, she danced with un- 
 common briskness, lest her ill stars should bring 
 him back before she had fully satisfied herself 
 with it. In the midst, therefore, of her capering 
 in this indiscreet manner, her cushion came loose, 
 without her perceiving it, and fell to the ground 
 in the very middle of the first round. The Duke 
 of Buckingham, who watched her, took it up in- 
 stantly, wrapped it up in his coat, and, mimicking 
 the cries of a new-born infant, he went about in- 
 quiring for a nurse for the young Muskerry among 
 the maids of honour. 
 
 This buffoonery, joined to the strange figure of 
 the poor lady, had almost thrown Miss Stewart 
 into hysterics ; for the princess of Babylon, after 
 this accident, was quite flat on one side and im- 
 moderately protuberant on the other. All those 
 who had before suppressed their inclinations to 
 laugh now gave themselves free scope, when they 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 373 
 
 saw that Miss Stewart was ready to split her 
 sides. The poor lady was greatly disconcerted. 
 Every person was officious to console her ; but the 
 queen, who inwardly laughed more heartily than 
 any, pretended to disapprove of their taking such 
 liberties. 
 
 Whilst Miss Hamilton and Mrs. Wetenhall en- 
 deavoured to refit Lady Muskerry in another room, 
 the Duke of Buckingham told the king that, if the 
 physicians would permit a little exercise imme- 
 diately after a delivery, the best way to recover 
 Lady Muskerry was to renew the dance as soon 
 as ever her infant was replaced ; this advice was 
 approved, and accordingly put in execution. The 
 queen proposed, as soon as she appeared, a second 
 round of country dances ; and Lady Muskerry ac- 
 cepting the offer, the remedy had its desired effect, 
 and entirely removed every remembrance of her 
 late mishap. 
 
 Whilst these things were passing at the king's 
 court, that of the Duke of York took a journey on 
 the other side of London. 1 The pretence of this 
 
 'In Sir John Reresby's "Memoirs," 8vo, 1735, P- IJ > suo 
 anno 1665, it is said, Aug. 5th : " His Royal Highness the duke 
 and his duchess came down to York, where it was observed that 
 Mr. Sidney, the handsomest youth of his time, and of the duke's 
 bedchamber, was greatly in love with the duchess; and indeed 
 he might well be excused, for the duchess, daughter to Chan- 
 cellor Hyde, was a -.very handsome personage and a woman of 
 fine wit. The duchess, on her part, seemed kind to him, but 
 very innocently; but he had the misfortune to be banished the 
 
374 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 journey was to visit the county whose name he 
 bore ; but love was the real motive. The duchess, 
 since her elevation, had conducted herself with 
 such prudence and circumspection as could not be 
 sufficiently admired. Such were her manners, 
 and such the general estimation in which she was 
 held, that she appeared to have found out the 
 secret of pleasing every one, a secret yet more 
 rare than the grandeur to which she had been 
 raised. But, after having gained universal esteem, 
 she was desirous of being more particularly be- 
 loved ; or, more properly speaking, malicious Cupid 
 assaulted her heart in spite of the discretion, pru* 
 dence, and reason with which she had fortified it. 
 
 In vain had she said to herself a hundred times 
 that if the duke had been so kind as to do her 
 justice by falling in love with her, he had done 
 her too much honour by making her his wife ; 
 that with respect to his inconstant disposition, 
 which estranged him from her, she ought to bear 
 it with patience, until it pleased Heaven to produce 
 a change in his conduct ; that the frailties on his 
 part, which might to her appear injurious, would 
 never justify in her the least deviation from her 
 duty ; and, as resentment was still less allowable, 
 she ought to endeavour to regain him by a con- 
 court afterward, for another reason, as was reported." Burnet 
 mentions this transaction, and insinuates that to this cause is 
 to be ascribed the duchess's conversion to popery. — See Bur- 
 nefs History of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 318. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 375 
 
 duct entirely opposite to his own. In vain was it, 
 as we have said before, that she had long resisted 
 Love and his emissaries by the help of these max- 
 ims. How solid soever reason, and however ob- 
 stinate wisdom and virtue may be, there are yet 
 certain attacks which tire by their length, and, in 
 the end, subdue both reason and virtue itself. 
 
 The Duchess of York was one of the highest 
 feeders in England. As this was an unforbidden 
 pleasure, she indulged herself in it, as an indemni- 
 fication for other self-denials. It was really an 
 edifying sight to see her at table. The duke, on 
 the contrary, being incessantly in the hurry of 
 new fancies, exhausted himself by his inconstancy, 
 and was gradually wasting away, whilst the poor 
 princess, gratifying her good appetite, grew so fat 
 and plump that it was a blessing to see her. It is 
 not easy to determine how long things would have 
 continued in this situation if Love, who was re- 
 solved to have satisfaction for her late conduct, so 
 opposite to the former, had not employed artifice 
 as well as force to disturb her repose. 
 
 He at first let loose upon her resentment and 
 jealousy two mortal enemies to all tranquillity and 
 happiness. A tall creature, pale-faced, and noth- 
 ing but skin and bone, named Churchill, 1 whom 
 
 1 Miss Arabella Churchill, daughter of Sir Winston Churchill 
 of Wotton Basset, in the county of Wilts, and sister to the cele- 
 brated John, Duke of Marlborough. She was born 1648. By 
 the Duke of York, she was mother of, 1, James, Duke of Ber- 
 
37 6 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 she had taken for a maid of honour, became the 
 object of her jealousy, because she was then the 
 object of the duke's affection. The court was 
 not able to comprehend how, after having been in 
 love with Lady Chesterfield, Miss Hamilton, and 
 Miss Jennings, he could have any inclination for 
 such a creature ; but they soon perceived that 
 something more than unaccountable variety had 
 a great share in effecting this conquest. 
 
 The duchess beheld with indignation a choice 
 which seemed to debase her own merit in a much 
 greater degree than any of the former ; at the very 
 instant that indignation and jealousy began to pro- 
 voke her spleen, perfidious Cupid threw in the 
 way of her passions and resentments the amiable, 
 handsome Sidney, and, whilst he kept her eyes 
 fixed upon his personal perfections, diverted her 
 attention from perceiving the deficiency of his 
 mental accomplishments. She was wounded be- 
 fore she was aware of her danger ; but the good 
 opinion Sidney had of his own merit did not suffer 
 him long to be ignorant of such a glorious con- 
 wick ; 2, Henry Fitz- James, commonly called the Grand Prior, 
 born 1673, wno was > after the revolution, created by his father 
 Duke of Albemarle, and died 1702 ; 3, Henrietta, born 1670, 
 married to Lord Waldegrave, and died 1730. Miss Churchill 
 afterward became the wife of Charles Godfrey, Esq., clerk-comp- 
 troller of the green cloth, and master of the jewel office, by 
 whom she had two daughters ; one, Charlotte, married to Lord 
 Falmouth, and the other, Elizabeth, to Edmund Dunch, Esq. 
 Mrs. Godfrey died in May, 1730, at the age of eighty-two. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 377 
 
 quest ; and, in order more effectually to secure it, 
 his eyes rashly answered everything which those 
 of her Royal Highness had the kindness to tell 
 him, whilst his personal accomplishments were 
 carefully heightened by all the advantages of dress 
 and show. 
 
 The duchess, foreseeing the consequences of 
 such an engagement, strongly combated the in- 
 clination that hurried her away ; but Miss Hobart, 
 siding with that inclination, argued the matter 
 with her scruples, and, in the end, really van- 
 quished them. This girl had insinuated herself 
 into her Royal Highness's confidence by a fund 
 of news with which she was provided the, whole 
 year round. The court and the city supplied her ; 
 nor was it very material to her whether her stories 
 were true or false, her chief care being that they 
 should prove agreeable to her mistress. She 
 knew, likewise, how to gratify her palate, and 
 constantly provided a variety of those dishes and 
 liquors which she liked best. These qualifica- 
 tions had rendered her necessary ; but, desirous 
 of being still more so, and having perceived both 
 the airs that Sidney gave himself, and what was 
 passing in the heart of her mistress, the cunning 
 Hobart took the liberty of telling her Royal High- 
 ness that this unfortunate youth was pining away 
 solely on her account ; that it was a thousand 
 pities a man of his figure should lose the respect 
 for her which was most certainly her due, merely 
 
378 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 because she had reduced him to such a state that 
 he could no longer preserve it ; that he was gradu- 
 ally dying away on her account, in the sight of 
 the whole court ; that his situation would soon be 
 generally remarked, except she made use of the 
 proper means to prevent it ; that, in her opinion, 
 her Royal Highness ought to pity the miserable 
 situation into which her charms had reduced him, 
 and to endeavour to alleviate his pain in some way 
 or other. The duchess asked her what she meant 
 by " endeavouring to alleviate his pain in some 
 way or other." " I mean, madam e," answered 
 Miss Hobart, "that, if either his person be dis- 
 agreeable, or his passion troublesome, you will 
 give him his discharge ; or, if you choose to retain 
 him in your service, as all the princesses in the 
 world would do in your place, you will permit me 
 to give him directions from you for his future 
 conduct, mixed with a few grains of hope, to pre- 
 vent his entirely losing his senses, until you find 
 a proper occasion yourself to acquaint him with 
 your wishes." "What ! " said the duchess, "would 
 you advise me, Hobart, — you, who really love 
 me, — to engage in an affair of this nature, at the 
 expense of my honour, and the hazard of a thou- 
 sand inconveniences ! If such frailties are some- 
 times excusable, they certainly are not so in the 
 high station in which I am placed ; and it would 
 be an ill requital on my part for his goodness who 
 raised me to the rank I now fill, to — " "All 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 379 
 
 this is very fine," interrupted Miss Hobart, "but 
 is it not very well known that he only married you 
 because he was importuned so to do ? Since that 
 I refer to yourself whether he has ever restrained 
 his inclination a single moment, giving you the 
 most convincing proofs of the change that has 
 taken place in his heart, by a thousand provoking 
 infidelities. Is it still your intention to persevere 
 in a state of indolence and humility, whilst the 
 duke, after having received the favours, or suf- 
 fered the repulses, of all the coquettes in England, 
 pays his addresses to the maids of honour, one 
 after the other, and at present places his whole 
 ambition and desires in the conquest of that ugly 
 skeleton, Churchill ? What ! Madame, must then 
 your prime of life be spent in a sort of widowhood, 
 in deploring your misfortunes, without ever being 
 permitted to make use of any remedy that may 
 offer ? A woman must be endowed with insuper- 
 able patience, or with an inexhaustible degree of 
 resignation, to bear this. Can a husband, who 
 disregards you both night and day, really suppose, 
 because his wife eats and drinks heartily, as, God 
 be thanked, your Royal Highness does, that she 
 wants nothing else than to sleep well too ? Faith, 
 such conduct is too bad. I, therefore, once more 
 repeat that there is not a princess in the universe 
 who would refuse the homage of a man like 
 Sidney, when her husband pays his addresses 
 elsewhere." 
 
380 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 These reasons were certainly not morally good ; 
 but had they been still worse the duchess would 
 have yielded to them, so much did her heart act 
 in concert with Miss Hobart, to overthrow her 
 discretion and prudence. 
 
 This intrigue began at the very time that Miss 
 Hobart advised Miss Temple not to give any 
 encouragement to the addresses of the handsome 
 Sidney. As for him, no sooner was he informed 
 by the confidante Hobart that the goddess ac- 
 cepted his adoration than he immediately began 
 to be particularly reserved and circumspect in his 
 behaviour, in order to divert the attention of the 
 public ; but the public is not so easily deceived as 
 some people imagine. 
 
 As there were too many spies, too many inquisi- 
 tive people and critics, in a numerous court, 
 residing in the midst of a populous city, the 
 duchess, to avoid exposing the inclinations of her 
 heart to the scrutiny of so many inquisitors, en- 
 gaged the Duke of York to undertake the journey 
 before mentioned, whilst the queen and her court 
 were at Tunbridge. 
 
 This conduct was prudent ; and, if agreeable to 
 her, was far from displeasing to any of her court, 
 except Miss Jennings. Jermyn was not of the 
 party ; and, in her opinion, every party was insipid 
 in which he was not one of the company. He 
 had engaged himself in an enterprise above his 
 strength, in laying a wager which the Chevalier 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 381 
 
 de Grammont had laid before, and lost. He 
 betted five hundred guineas that he would ride 
 twenty miles in one hour upon the same horse, in 
 the high road. The day he had fixed upon for his 
 race was the very same in which Miss Jennings 
 went to the f<jrtune-teller's. 
 
 Jermyn was more fortunate than her in this 
 undertaking. He came off victorious ; but as his 
 courage had far exceeded the strength of his con- 
 stitution in this exertion to win the wager, he got 
 a violent fever into the bargain, which brought 
 him very low. Miss Jennings inquired after his 
 health ; but that was all she dared to do. In 
 modern romances, a princess need only pay a 
 visit to some hero, abandoned by his physicians, 
 a perfect cure would be wrought in three days ; 
 but since Miss Jennings had not been the cause 
 of Jermyn's fever, she was not certain of relieving 
 him from it, although she had been sure that a 
 charitable visit would not have been censured in 
 a malicious court. Without, therefore, paying any 
 attention to the uneasiness she might feel upon 
 the occasion, the court set out without him. She 
 had, however, the gratification to testify her ill 
 humour throughout the whole journey, by appear- 
 ing displeased with everything which seemed to 
 afford satisfaction to all the rest of the company. 
 
 Talbot made one of the company ; and flatter- 
 ing himself that the absence of a dangerous rival 
 might produce some change in his favour, he was 
 
382 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 attentive to all the actions, motions, and even 
 gestures, of his former mistress. There was cer- 
 tainly enough fully to employ his attention. It 
 was contrary to her disposition to remain long in 
 a serious humour. Her natural vivacity hurried 
 her away, from being seemingly lost in thought, 
 into sallies of wit, which afforded him hopes that 
 she would soon forget Jermyn, and remember that 
 his own passion was the first she had encouraged. 
 However, he kept his distance, notwithstanding 
 his love and his hopes, being of opinion that it ill 
 became an injured lover to betray either the least 
 weakness, or the smallest return of affection, for 
 an ungrateful mistress who had deserted him. 
 
 Miss Jennings was so far from thinking of his 
 resentments, that she did not even recollect he 
 had ever paid his addresses to her; and her 
 thoughts being wholly occupied upon the poor 
 sick man, she conducted herself toward Talbot as 
 if they never had anything to say to each other. 
 It was to him that she most usually gave her hand, 
 either in getting into or out of the coach ; she 
 conversed more readily with him than any other 
 person, and, without intending it, did everything 
 to make the court believe she was cured of her 
 passion for Jermyn in favour of her former lover. 
 
 Of this he seemed likewise convinced, as well 
 as the rest ; and thinking it now proper to act 
 another part, in order to let her know that his 
 sentiments with respect to her were still the same, 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 383 
 
 he had resolved to address her in the most tender 
 and affectionate manner upon this subject. For- 
 tune seemed to have favoured him, and to have 
 smoothed the way for this intended harangue : he 
 was alone with her in her chamber, and, what was 
 still better, she was rallying him concerning Miss 
 Boynton, saying, "that they were undoubtedly 
 much obliged to him for attending them on their 
 journey, whilst poor Miss Boynton had fainting 
 fits at Tunbridge, at least twice every day, for love 
 of him." Upon this discourse, Talbot thought it 
 right to begin the recital of his sufferings and 
 fidelity, when Miss Temple, with a paper in her 
 hand, entered the room. This was a letter in 
 verse, which Lord Rochester had written some 
 time before, upon the intrigues of the two courts ; 
 wherein, upon the subject of Miss Jennings, he 
 said "that Talbot had struck terror among the 
 people of God, by his gigantic stature, but that 
 Jermyn, like a little David, had vanquished the 
 great Goliath." Jennings, delighted with this 
 allusion, read it over two or three times, thought 
 it more entertaining than Talbot's conversation, at 
 first heartily laughed at it, but soon after, with a 
 tender air, " Poor little David ! " said she, with a 
 deep sigh, and turning her head on one side during 
 this short reverie, she shed a few tears, which as- 
 suredly did not flow for the defeat of the giant. 
 This stung Talbot to the quick, and seeing him- 
 self so ridiculously deceived in his hopes, he went 
 
384 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 abruptly out of the room, vowing never to think 
 any more of a giddy girl, whose conduct was 
 regulated neither by sense nor reason ; but he did 
 not keep his resolution. 
 
 The other votaries of love, who were numerous 
 in this court, were more successful, the journey 
 being undertaken solely on that account. There 
 were continual balls and entertainments upon the 
 road ; hunting, and all other diversions, wherever 
 the court halted in its progress. The tender 
 lovers flattered themselves with the thought of 
 being able to crown their happiness as they pro- 
 ceeded in their journey ; and the beauties who 
 governed their destiny did not forbid them to hope. 
 Sidney paid his court with wonderful assiduity ; 
 the duchess made the duke take notice of his late 
 perfect devotion to his service ; his Royal High- 
 ness observed it, and agreed that he ought to be 
 remembered upon the first opportunity, which hap- 
 pened soon after. 
 
 Montagu, as before mentioned, was master of 
 the horse to the duchess ; he was possessed of a 
 great deal of wit, had much penetration, and loved 
 mischief. How could she bear such a man near 
 her person, in the present situation of her heart ? 
 This greatly embarrassed her ; but Montagu's 
 elder brother having, very apropos, got himself 
 killed where he had no business, 1 the duke ob- 
 
 1 Montagu's elder brother was killed before Bergen, about 
 August, 1665. See Arlington 's Letters, vol. ii. p. 87. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 385 
 
 tained for Montagu the post of master of the horse 
 to the queen, which the deceased enjoyed, and the 
 handsome Sidney was appointed to succeed him 
 in the same employment to the duchess. All this 
 happened according to her wish ; and the duke 
 was highly pleased that he had found means to 
 promote these two gentlemen at once, without 
 being at the least expense. 
 
 Miss Hobart greatly applauded these promo- 
 tions ; she had frequent and long conversations 
 with Sidney, which, being remarked, some did her 
 the honour to believe it was upon her own account, 
 and the compliments that were made her upon the 
 occasion she most willingly received. The duke, 
 who believed it at first, observed to the duchess 
 the unaccountable taste of certain persons, and 
 how the handsomest young fellow in England was 
 infatuated with such a frightful creature. 
 
 The duchess confessed that taste was very ar- 
 bitrary ; the truth whereof he himself seemed to 
 be convinced of, since he had fixed upon the beau- 
 teous Helen for his mistress. I know not whether 
 this raillery caused him to reflect for what reasons 
 he made his choice, but it is certain he began to 
 cool in his affections for Miss Churchill ; and per- 
 haps he would entirely have abandoned this pur- 
 suit, had not an accident taken place, which raised 
 in him an entirely new inclination for her. 
 
 The court having halted for a few days in a fine 
 open country, the duchess was desirous of seeing 
 
386 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 a greyhound course. This diversion is practised 
 in England upon large downs, where the turf, 
 eaten by the sheep, is particularly green, and won- 
 derfully even. She was in her coach, and all the 
 ladies on horseback, every one of them being at- 
 tended by her squire ; it therefore was but reason- 
 able that the mistress should likewise have her 
 squire. He accordingly was at the side of her 
 coach, and seemed to compensate for his defi- 
 ciencies in conversation, by the uncommon beauty 
 of his mien and figure. 
 
 The duke attended Miss Churchill, not for the 
 sake of besieging her with soft flattering tales of love, 
 but, on the contrary, to chide her for sitting so ill 
 on horseback. She was one of the most indolent 
 creatures in the world ; and although the maids of 
 honour are generally the worst mounted of the whole 
 court, yet, in order to distinguish her, on account of 
 the favour she enjoyed, they had given her a very 
 pretty, though rather a high-spirited horse ; a dis- 
 tinction she would very willingly have excused them. 
 
 The embarrassment and fear she was under had 
 added to her natural paleness. In this situation, 
 her countenance had almost completed the duke's 
 disgust, when her horse, desirous of keeping pace 
 with the others, set off in a gallop, notwithstand- 
 ing her greatest efforts to prevent it, and her en- 
 deavours to hold him in firing his mettle, he at 
 length set off at full speed, as if he was running a 
 race against the duke's horse. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 387 
 
 Miss Churchill lost her seat, screamed out, and 
 fell from her horse. A fall in so quick a pace 
 must have been violent ; and yet it proved favour- 
 able to her in every respect, for, without receiving 
 any hurt, she gave the lie to all the unfavourable 
 suppositions that had been formed of her person, 
 in judging from her face. The duke alighted, in 
 order to help her ; she was so greatly stunned, 
 that her thoughts were otherwise employed than 
 about decency on the present occasion, and those 
 who first crowded around her found her rather in 
 a negligent posture. They could hardly believe 
 that limbs of such exquisite beauty could belong 
 to Miss Churchill's face. After this accident, it 
 was remarked that the duke's tenderness and af- 
 fection for her increased every day, and, toward 
 the end of the winter, it appeared that she had 
 not tyrannised over his passion, nor made him 
 languish with impatience. 
 
 The two courts returned to London much about 
 the same time, equally satisfied with their respect- 
 ive excursions ; though the queen was disap- 
 pointed in the hopes she had entertained of the 
 good effects of the Tunbridge waters. 
 
 It was about this time that the Chevalier de 
 Grammont received a letter from the Marchioness 
 de Saint-Chaumont, his sister, acquainting him 
 that he might return when he thought proper, 
 the king having given him leave. He would have 
 received this news with joy at any other time, 
 
388 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 whatever had been the charms of the English 
 court ; but, in the present situation of his heart, 
 he could not resolve to quit it. 
 
 He had returned from Tunbridge a thousand 
 times deeper in love than ever ; for, during this 
 agreeable excursion, he had every day seen Miss 
 Hamilton, either in the marshes of melancholy 
 Peckham or in the delicious walks of cheerful 
 Summer-hill, or in the daily diversions and enter- 
 tainments of the queen's court ; and whether he 
 saw her on horseback, heard her conversation, or 
 observed her in the dance, still he was persuaded 
 that Heaven had never formed an object in every 
 respect more worthy of the love, and more deserv- 
 ing of the affection, of a man of sense and deli- 
 cacy. How then was it possible for him to bear 
 the thoughts of leaving her ? This appeared to 
 him absolutely impracticable ; however, as he was 
 desirous of making a merit with her of the deter- 
 mination he had made to neglect his fortune, 
 rather than to be separated from her charms, he 
 showed her his sister's letter ; but this confidence 
 had not the success he expected. 
 
 Miss Hamilton, in the first place, congratulated 
 him upon his recall ; she returned him many 
 thanks for the sacrifice he intended to make 
 her; but as this testimony of affection greatly 
 exceeded the bounds of mere gallantry, however 
 sensibly she might feel this mark of his tender- 
 ness, she was, however, determined not to abuse 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 389 
 
 it. In vain did he protest that he would rather 
 meet death than part from her irresistible charms ; 
 and her irresistible charms protested that he 
 should never see them more, unless he departed 
 immediately. Thus was he forced to obey. How- 
 ever, he was allowed to flatter himself that these 
 positive orders, how harsh soever they might 
 appear, did not flow from indifference ; that she 
 would always be more pleased with his return 
 than with his departure, for which she was now 
 so urgent ; and having generously given him assur- 
 ances that, so far as depended upon herself, he 
 would find, upon his return, no variation in her 
 sentiments during his absence, he took leave of 
 his friends, thinking of nothing but his return, at 
 the very time he was making preparations for his 
 departure. 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 HE nearer the Chevalier de Grammont 
 approached the court of France, the 
 more did he regret his absence from 
 that of England ; not but that he expected a gra- 
 cious reception at the feet of his master, whose 
 anger no one provoked with impunity, but who 
 likewise knew how to pardon in such a manner 
 as to make the favour he conferred in every 
 respect to be felt. 
 
 A thousand different thoughts occupied his 
 mind upon the journey ; sometimes he reflected 
 upon the joy and satisfaction his friends and rela- 
 tions would experience upon his return ; some- 
 times upon the congratulations and embraces of 
 those who, being neither the one nor the other, 
 would, nevertheless, overwhelm him with imperti- 
 nent compliments. All these ideas passed quickly 
 through his head ; for a man deeply in love makes 
 it a scruple of conscience not to suffer any other 
 thoughts to dwell upon his mind than those of the 
 object beloved. It was then the tender, endearing 
 remembrance of what he had left in London that 
 diverted his thoughts from Paris ; and it was the 
 390 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 391 
 
 torments of absence that prevented his feeling 
 those of the bad roads and the bad horses. His 
 heart protested to Miss Hamilton, between Mon- 
 treuil and Abbeville, that he only tore himself 
 from her with such haste to return the sooner; 
 after which, by a short reflection, comparing the 
 regret he had formerly felt upon the same road, in 
 quitting France for England, with that which he 
 now experienced in quitting England for France, 
 he found the last much more insupportable than 
 the former. 
 
 It is thus that a man in love entertains himself 
 upon the road ; or rather, it is thus that a trifling 
 writer abuses the patience of his reader, either to 
 display his own sentiments, or to lengthen out a 
 tedious story ; but God forbid that this character 
 should apply to ourselves, since we profess to 
 insert nothing in these memoirs, but what we 
 have heard from the mouth of him whose actions 
 and sayings we transmit to posterity. 
 
 Who, except Squire Feraulas, has ever been able 
 to keep a register of all the thoughts, sighs, and 
 exclamations of his illustrious master? For my 
 own part, I should never have thought that the 
 attention of the Count de Grammont, which is at 
 present so sensible to inconveniences and dangers, 
 would have ever permitted him to entertain amo- 
 rous thoughts upon the road, if he did not himself 
 dictate to me what I am now writing. 
 
 But let us speak of him at Abbeville. The post- 
 
392 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 master was his old acquaintance ; his hotel was 
 the best provided of any between Calais and 
 Paris ; and the Chevalier de Grammont, alighting, 
 told Termes he would drink a glass of wine dur- 
 ing the time they were changing horses. It was 
 about noon, and, since the preceding night, when 
 they had landed at Calais, until this instant, they 
 had not eat a single mouthful. Termes, prais- 
 ing the Lord that natural feelings had for once 
 prevailed over the inhumanity of his usual impa- 
 tience, confirmed him as much as possible in such 
 reasonable sentiments. 
 
 Upon their entering the kitchen, where the 
 chevalier generally paid his first visit, they were 
 surprised to see half a dozen spits loaded with 
 game at the fire, and every other preparation 
 for a magnificent entertainment. The heart of 
 Termes leaped for joy ; he gave private orders 
 to the hostler to pull the shoes off some of the 
 horses, that he might not be forced away from 
 this place before he had satisfied his craving 
 appetite. 
 
 Soon after a number of violins and hautboys, 
 attended by all the mob of the town, entered the 
 court. The landlord, being asked the reason of 
 these great preparations, acquainted the Chevalier 
 de Grammont that they were for the wedding of 
 one of the most wealthy gentlemen in the neigh- 
 bourhood with one of the handsomest girls in the 
 whole province ; that the entertainment was to be 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 393 
 
 at his house ; and that, if his lordship chose to stop, 
 in a very short time he would see the new-married 
 couple arrive from the church, since the music 
 was already come. He was right in his conjec- 
 tures, for these words were scarce out of his 
 mouth, when three uncommon large coaches, 
 loaded with lackeys, as tall as Swiss, with most 
 gaudy liveries, all covered with lace, appeared in 
 the court, and disembarked the whole wedding 
 company. Never was country magnificence more 
 naturally displayed ; rusty tinsel, tarnished lace, 
 striped silks, little eyes, and full swelling breasts, 
 appeared on every side. 
 
 If the first sight of the procession surprised the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, faithful Termes was no 
 less astonished at the second. The little that was 
 to be seen of the bride's face appeared not with- 
 out beauty ; but no judgment could be formed of 
 the remainder : four dozen of patches, at least, and 
 ten ringlets of hair, on each side, most completely 
 concealed her from all human eyes ; but it was 
 the bridegroom who most particularly attracted 
 the Chevalier de Grammont's attention. 
 
 He was as ridiculously dressed as the rest of 
 the company, except a coat of the greatest mag- 
 nificence, and of the most exquisite taste. The 
 Chevalier de Grammont, walking up to him to 
 examine his dress, began to commend the em- 
 broidery of his coat. The bridegroom thought 
 himself much honoured by this examination, and 
 
394 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 told him he bought it for one hundred and fifty 
 louis, at the time he was paying his addresses to 
 his wife. " Then you did not get it made here ? " 
 said the Chevalier de Grammont. " No," replied 
 the other, " I bought it of a London merchant, 
 who had ordered it for an English lord." The 
 Chevalier de Grammont, who now began to per- 
 ceive in what manner the adventure would end, 
 asked him if he should recollect the merchant if he 
 saw him again ? " Recollect him ! " replied the 
 other, " I surely ought ; for I was obliged to sit 
 up drinking with him all night at Calais, as I was 
 endeavouring to beat down the price." Termes 
 had vanished out of sight as soon as ever this coat 
 appeared, though he little supposed that the cursed 
 bridegroom would have any conversation concern- 
 ing it with his master. 
 
 The chevalier's thoughts were some time waver- 
 ing between his inclination to laugh, and a desire 
 of hanging Master Termes ; but the long habit of 
 suffering himself to be robbed by his domestics, 
 together with the vigilance of the criminal, whom 
 his master could not reproach with having slept in 
 his service, inclined him to clemency ; and yielding 
 to the importunities of the country gentleman, in 
 order to confound his faithful servant, he sat down 
 to table, to make the thirty-seventh of the company. 
 
 A short time after he desired one of the waiters 
 to call for a gentleman whose name was Termes. 
 He immediately appeared, and as soon as the mas- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 395 
 
 ter of the feast saw him, he rose from table, and 
 offering him his hand, " Welcome, my friend," said 
 he ; " you see that I have taken good care of the 
 coat which you sold me with so much reluctance, 
 and that I have kept it for a good purpose." 
 
 Termes, having put on a face of brass, pre- 
 tended not to know him, and pushed him back 
 with some degree of rudeness. " No, no ! " said 
 the other ; " since I was obliged to sit up with 
 you the whole night, in order to strike the bargain, 
 you shall pledge me in the bride's health." The 
 Chevalier de Grammont, who saw that Termes was 
 disconcerted, notwithstanding his impudence, said 
 to him, with a smile : " Come, come, my good Lon- 
 don merchant, sit down, as you are so civilly in- 
 vited ; we are not so crowded at table but that there 
 will be room enough for such an honest gentle- 
 man as yourself." At these words five and thirty 
 of the guests were in motion to receive this new 
 visitor ; the bride alone, out of an idea of decorum, 
 remained seated ; and the audacious Termes, hav- 
 ing swallowed the first shame of this adventure, 
 began to lay about him at such a rate, as if it had 
 been his intention to swallow all the wine provided 
 for the wedding, if his master had not risen from 
 the table as they were taking off four and twenty 
 soups, to serve up as many other dishes in their 
 stead. 
 
 The company were not so unreasonable as to 
 desire a man who was in such haste to temain to 
 
396 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the end of a wedding dinner ; but they all got up 
 when he arose from table, and all that he could 
 obtain from the bridegroom was that the company 
 should not attend him to the gate of the inn. As 
 for Termes, he wished they had not quitted him 
 till the end of their journey, so much did he dread 
 being left alone with his master. 
 
 They had advanced some distance from Abbe- 
 ville, and were proceeding on in the most profound 
 silence, when Termes, who expected an end to it 
 in a short time, was only solicitous in what man- 
 ner it might happen, whether his master would 
 attack him with a torrent of invectives, and cer- 
 tain epithets which were most justly his due, or 
 whether, in an insulting, ironical manner, he might 
 make use of such commendations as were most 
 likely to confound him; but finding, instead of 
 either, that he remained in sullen silence, he 
 thought it rather prudent to prevent the speech 
 the chevalier was meditating than to suffer him 
 to think longer about it, and accordingly, arming 
 himself with all his effrontery, « You seem to be 
 very angry, sir," said he, "and I suppose you think 
 you have reason for being so ; but the devil take 
 me, if you are not mistaken in reality." 
 
 " How, traitor ! in reality ? " said the Chevalier 
 de Grammont. "It is then because I have not 
 had thee well thrashed, as thou hast for a long 
 time merited." "Look ye, sir," replied Termes, 
 " you always run into a passion, instead of listen- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 397 
 
 ing to reason ! Yes, sir, I maintain that what I 
 did was for your benefit." "And was not the 
 quicksand likewise for my service ? " said the 
 Chevalier de Grammont. " Have patience, if 
 you please," pursued the other. " I know not 
 how that simpleton of a bridegroom happened 
 to be at the custom-house when my portmanteau 
 was examined at Calais; but these silly cuckolds 
 thrust in their noses everywhere. As soon as 
 ever he saw your coat, he fell in love with it. I 
 immediately perceived he was a fool ; for he fell 
 down upon his knees, beseeching me to sell it him. 
 Besides being greatly rumpled in the portman- 
 teau, it was all stained in front by the sweat of 
 the horses. I wonder how the devil he has man- 
 aged to get it cleaned ; but, faith, I am the great- 
 est scoundrel in the world, if you would ever have 
 put it on. In a word, it cost you one hundred and 
 forty louis d'ors, and seeing he offered me one 
 hundred and fifty for it, 'My master,' said I, 'has 
 no occasion for this tinselled bauble to distinguish 
 him at the ball ; and, although he was pretty full 
 of cash when I left him, how know I in what situa- 
 tion he may be upon my return ? There is no cer- 
 tainty at play.' To be brief, sir, I got ten louis 
 d'ors for it more than it cost you ; this you 
 see is all clear profit ; I will be accountable to 
 you for it, and you know that I am sufficiently 
 substantial to make good such a sum. Confess 
 now, do you think you would have appeared to 
 
398 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 greater advantage at the ball, if you had been 
 dressed out in that damned coat, which would 
 have made you look just like the village bride- 
 groom to whom we sold it ? And yet how you 
 stormed at London when you thought it lost ; 
 what fine stories you told the king about the 
 quicksand ; and how churlish you looked, when 
 you first began to suppose that this country 
 looby wore it at his wedding ! " 
 
 What could the chevalier reply to such uncom- 
 mon impudence ? If he indulged his resentment, 
 he must either have most severely bastinadoed 
 him or he must have discarded him, as the easiest 
 escape the rogue could expect ; but he had occasion 
 for him during the remainder of his journey, and, 
 as soon as he was at Paris, he had occasion for 
 him for his return. 
 
 The Marechal de Grammont had no sooner 
 notice of his arrival than he went to him at the 
 hotel ; and, the first embraces being over on both 
 sides, " Chevalier," said the marechal, " how many 
 days have you been in coming from London hither ? 
 For God knows at what a rate you travel on such 
 occasions." The chevalier told him he had been 
 three days upon the road, and, to excuse himself 
 for making no more haste, he related to him his 
 Abbeville adventure. "It is a very entertaining 
 one," said his brother, "but what is yet more 
 entertaining is, that it will be your fault if you do 
 not find your coat still at table, for the country 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 399 
 
 gentry are not accustomed to rise very soon from 
 a wedding dinner." And then, in a very serious 
 tone, told him, " he knew not who had advised him 
 to this unexpected return, which might probably 
 ruin all his affairs, but he had orders from the 
 king to bid him go back again without appearing 
 at court. He told him afterward that he was very 
 much astonished at his impatience, as, till this 
 time, he had conducted himself uncommonly well, 
 and was sufficiently acquainted with the king's 
 temper to know that the only way to merit his 
 pardon was to wait until it freely came from his 
 clemency." 
 
 The chevalier, in justification of his conduct, 
 produced Madame de Saint Chaumont's letter, 
 and told the marechal that he would very willingly 
 have spared her the trouble of writing him such 
 kind of news to occasion him so useless a journey. 
 " Still more indiscretion," replied his brother ; " for 
 pray, how long has our sister been either secretary 
 of state or minister, that she should be employed 
 by the king to make known his Majesty's order ? 
 Do you wish to know the real state of the case ? 
 Some time ago the king told Madame ' how you 
 
 1 Henrietta, youngest daughter of Charles the First, born 
 at Exeter, 16th June, 1644, from whence she was removed to 
 London in 1646, and with her governess, Lady Dalkeith, soon 
 afterward conveyed to France. On the Restoration, she came 
 over to England with her mother, but returned to France in 
 about six months, and was married to Philip, Duke of Orleans, 
 
400 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 had refused the pension the King of England 
 offered you ; he appeared pleased with the man- 
 ner in which Comminges had related to him the 
 circumstances attending it, and said he was pleased 
 with you for it. Madame interpreted this as an 
 order for your recall, and Madame de Saint Chau- 
 mont being very far from possessing that wonder- 
 ful discretion she imagines herself mistress of, she 
 hastened to despatch to you this consequential 
 order in her own hand. To conclude : Madame 
 said yesterday, when the king was at dinner, that 
 you would very soon be here, and the king, as 
 soon as dinner was over, commanded me to send 
 you back as soon as you arrived. Here you are ; 
 set off again immediately." 
 
 This order might have appeared severe to the 
 Chevalier de Grammont at any other time, but in 
 
 only brother of Louis XIV. In May, 1670, she came again to 
 Dover, on a mission of a political nature, it is supposed, from 
 the French king to her brother, in which she was successful. 
 She died, soon after her return to France, suddenly, not without 
 suspicion of having been poisoned by her husband. King James, 
 in his diary, says : " On the 22d of June, the news of the Duchess of 
 Orleans's death arrived. It was suspected that counter-poisons 
 were given her ; but when she was opened, in the presence of the 
 English ambassador, the Earl of Ailesbury, an English physician 
 and surgeon, there appeared no grounds of suspicion of any foul 
 play. Yet Bucks talked openly that she was poisoned, and was 
 so violent as to propose to foreign ministers to make war on 
 France." — Macpherson's Original Papers, vol. i. At the end of 
 " Lord Arlington's Letters " are five very remarkable ones from a 
 person of quality, who is said to have been actually on the spot, 
 giving a particular relation of her death. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 401 
 
 the present state of his heart he soon resolved 
 upon obeying. Nothing gave him uneasiness but 
 the officious advice which had obliged him to leave 
 the English court, and being entirely unconcerned 
 that he was not allowed to see the French court 
 before his departure, he only desired the marechal 
 to obtain leave for him to stay a few days to col- 
 lect in some play debts which were owing him. 
 This request was granted, on condition that he 
 should not remain in Paris. 
 
 He chose Vaugirard for his retreat. It was 
 there that he had several adventures which he so 
 often related in so humourous and diverting a man- 
 ner that it would be tedious to repeat them ; there 
 it was that he administered the sacrament in so 
 solemn a manner, that, as there did not remain 
 a sufficient number of Swiss at Versailles to guard 
 the chapel, Vardes was obliged to acquaint the 
 king that they were all gone to the Chevalier de 
 Grammont, who was administering the sacrament 
 at Vaugirard. There likewise happened that won- 
 derful adventure which threw the first slur upon 
 the reputation of the great Saucourt, when, having 
 a tite-a-tete with the gardener's daughter, the 
 horn, which was agreed upon as the signal to 
 prevent surprises, was sounded so often, that the 
 frequent alarms cooled the courage of the cele- 
 brated Saucourt, and rendered useless the assigna- 
 tion that was procured for him with one of the 
 prettiest girls in the neighbourhood. It was, like- 
 
402 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 wise, during his stay at Vaugirard, that he paid 
 a visit to Mile, de l'Hopital, at Issy, to inquire 
 into the truth of a report of an amour between 
 her and a man of the long robe ; and it was there 
 that, on his arriving unexpectedly, the President, 
 de Maisons was forced to take refuge in a closet, 
 with so much precipitation that half of his robe 
 remained on the outside when he shut the door, 
 while the Chevalier de Grammont, who observed 
 it, made his visit excessively long, in order to keep 
 the two lovers upon the rack. 
 
 His business being settled, he set out for Eng- 
 land on the wings of love. Termes redoubled his 
 vigilance upon the road. The post-horses were 
 ready in an instant at every stage ; the winds and 
 tides favoured his impatience, and he reached 
 London with the highest satisfaction. The court 
 was both surprised and charmed at his sudden 
 return. No person condoled with him upon his 
 late disappointment, which had occasioned him to 
 come back, as he testified no manner of uneasiness 
 concerning it himself; nor was Miss Hamilton in 
 the least displeased at his readiness in obeying the 
 orders of the king, his master. 
 
 Nothing new had happened in the English court 
 during his short absence, but it assumed a differ- 
 ent aspect soon after his return ; I mean with 
 respect to love and pleasure, which were the most 
 serious concerns of the court during the greatest 
 part of this gay reign. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 463 
 
 The Duke of Monmouth, 1 natural son to Charles 
 the Second, now made his first appearance in his 
 father's court. His entrance upon the stage of 
 the world was so brilliant, his ambition had occa- 
 sioned so many considerable events, and the par- 
 ticulars of his tragical end are so recent, that it 
 were needless to produce any other traits to give 
 a sketch of his character. By the whole tenor of 
 his life he appeared to be rash in his undertakings, 
 irresolute in the execution, and dejected in his 
 misfortunes, in which, at least, an undaunted reso- 
 lution ought to equal the greatness of the attempt. 
 
 His figure and the exterior graces of his person 
 were such, that nature perhaps never formed any- 
 thing more complete. His face was extremely 
 handsome ; and yet it was a manly face, neither 
 inanimate nor effeminate, each feature having its 
 beauty and peculiar delicacy. He had a wonderful 
 
 1 James, Duke of Monmouth, was the son of Charles II., by 
 one Lucy Walters. He was born at Rotterdam, April 9, 1649, 
 and bore the name of James Crofts until the Restoration. His 
 education was chiefly at Paris, under the eye of the queen- 
 mother, and the government of Thomas Ross, Esq., who was 
 afterward secretary to Mr. Coventry during his embassy in 
 Sweden. At the Restoration he was brought to England, and 
 received with joy by his father, who heaped honours and riches 
 upon him, which were not sufficient to satisfy his ambitious 
 views. To exclude his uncle, the Duke of York, from the 
 throne, he was continually intriguing with the opposers of gov- 
 ernment, and was frequently in disgrace with his sovereign. On 
 the accession of James II. he made an ineffectual attempt to 
 raise a rebellion, was taken prisoner, and beheaded on Tower 
 Hill, 15th July, 1685. 
 
404 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 genius for every sort of exercise, an engaging as- 
 pect, and an air of grandeur ; in a word, he pos- 
 sessed every personal advantage ; but then he was 
 greatly deficient in mental accomplishments. He 
 had no sentiments but such as others inspired him 
 with ; and those who first insinuated themselves 
 into his friendship took care to inspire him with 
 none but such as were pernicious. The astonish- 
 ing beauty of his outward form caused universal 
 admiration. Those who before were looked upon 
 as handsome were now entirely forgotten at court ; 
 and all the gay and beautiful of the fair sex were 
 at his devotion. He was particularly beloved by 
 the king, but the universal terror of husbands and 
 lovers. This, however, did not long continue, for 
 nature not having endowed him with qualifications 
 to secure the possession of the heart, the fair sex 
 soon perceived the defect. 
 
 The Duchess of Cleveland was out of humour 
 with the king, because the children she had by 
 his Majesty were like so many little puppets, 
 compared to this new Adonis. She was the more 
 particularly hurt, as she might have boasted of 
 being the queen of love, in comparison with the 
 duke's mother. The king, however, laughed at 
 her reproaches, as, for some time, she had cer- 
 tainly no right to make any ; and, as this piece 
 of jealousy appeared to be more ill-founded than 
 any she had formerly affected, no person approved 
 of her ridiculous resentment. Not succeeding in 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 405 
 
 this, she formed another scheme to give the king 
 uneasiness. Instead of opposing his extreme ten- 
 derness for his son, she pretended to adopt him in 
 her affections, by a thousand commendations and 
 caresses, which she was daily and continually in- 
 creasing. As these endearments were public, she 
 imagined they could not be suspected ; but she 
 was too well known for her real design to be mis- 
 taken. The king was no longer jealous of her, 
 but, as the Duke of Monmouth was of an age 
 not to be insensible to the attractions of a woman 
 possessing so many charms, he thought it proper 
 to withdraw him from this pretended mother-in- 
 law, to preserve his innocence, or at least his 
 fame, uncontaminated ; it was for this reason, 
 therefore, that the king married him so young. 
 
 An heiress of five thousand pounds a year in 
 Scotland, 1 offered very apropos. Her person was 
 
 1 This was Lady Anne Scott, daughter and sole heiress of 
 Francis, Earl of Buccleugh, only son and heir of Walter, Lord 
 Scott, created Earl of Buccleugh in 1619. On their marriage the 
 duke took the surname of Scott, and he and his lady were 
 created Duke and Duchess of Buccleugh, Earl and Countess 
 of Dalkeith, Baron and Baroness of Whitchester and Ashdale 
 in Scotland, by letters patent, dated April 20, 1673. Also, two 
 days after, he was installed at Windsor, the king and queen, the 
 Duke of York, and most of the court being present. The next 
 day, being St. George's day, his Majesty solemnised it with a 
 royal feast, and entertained the knights companions in St. 
 George's Hall in the castle of Windsor. Though there were 
 several children of this marriage, it does not appear to have 
 been a happy one, the duke, without concealment, attaching 
 himself to Lady Harriet Wentworth, whom, with his dying 
 
406 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 full of charms, and her mind possessed all those 
 perfections in which the handsome Monmouth was 
 deficient. 
 
 New festivals and entertainments celebrated this 
 marriage. The most effectual method to pay court 
 to the king was to outshine the rest in brilliancy 
 and grandeur ; and whilst these rejoicings brought 
 forward all manner of gallantry and magnificence, 
 they either revived old or established new amours. 
 
 The fair Stewart, then in the meridian of her 
 glory, attracted all eyes, and commanded universal 
 respect and admiration. The Duchess of Cleve- 
 land endeavoured to eclipse her at this fete, by a 
 load of jewels, and by all the artificial ornaments 
 of dress ; but it was in vain. Her face looked 
 rather thin and pale, from the commencement of 
 a third or fourth pregnancy, which the king was 
 still pleased to place to his own account ; and, as 
 for the rest, her person could in no respect stand 
 in competition with the grace and beauty of Miss 
 Stewart. 
 
 It was during this last effort of her charms, 
 that she would have been Queen of England had 
 
 breath, he declared he considered as his only wife in the sight 
 of God. The duchess, in May, 1688, took to her second hus- 
 band, Charles, Lord Cornwallis. She died Feb. 6, 1731-32, in the 
 eighty-first year of her age, and was buried at Dalkeith in Scot- 
 land. Our author is not more correct about figures than he 
 avows himself to be in the arrangement of facts and dates ; the 
 duchess's fortune was much greater than he has stated it to have 
 been. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 4°7 
 
 the king been as free to give his hand as he was 
 to surrender his heart ; for it was at this time that 
 the Duke of Richmond took it into his head either 
 to marry her, or to die in the attempt. 
 
 A few months after the celebration of the Duke 
 of Monmouth's nuptials, Killegrew, 1 having noth- 
 ing better to do, fell in love with Lady Shrews- 
 bury ; and, as Lady Shrewsbury, by a very 
 extraordinary chance, had no engagement at that 
 time, their amour was soon established. No one 
 thought of interrupting an intimacy which did 
 not concern any one ; but Killegrew thought 
 proper to disturb it himself. Not that his hap- 
 piness fell short of his expectation, nor did pos- 
 session put him out of love with a situation so 
 enviable ; but he was amazed that he was not 
 envied, and offended that his good fortune raised 
 him no rivals. 
 
 1 Thomas Killegrew was one of the sons of Sir Robert Kille- 
 grew, chamberlain to the queen, and was born at Hanworth, in 
 the county of Middlesex, in the month of February, 1611. He 
 seems to have been early intended for the court, and to qualify 
 him for rising there, every circumstance of his education appears 
 to have been adapted. He was appointed page of honour to 
 King Charles I., and faithfully adhered to his cause until the 
 death of his master, after which he attended his son in his exile, 
 to whom he was highly acceptable, on account of his social and 
 convivial qualifications. He married Mrs. Cecilia Crofts, one 
 of the maids of honour to Queen Henrietta. In 165 1 he was 
 sent to Venice, as resident at that state. He died at Whitehall, 
 19th March, 1682, bewailed, as it is said, by his friends, and 
 truly wept for by the poor. 
 
408 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 He possessed a great deal of wit, and still more 
 eloquence, which most particularly displayed itself 
 when he was a little elevated with the juice of the 
 grape ; he then indulged himself in giving luxuri- 
 ous descriptions of Lady Shrewsbury's most secret 
 charms and beauties, which above half the court 
 were as well acquainted with as himself. 
 
 The Duke of Buckingham was one of those who 
 could only judge from outward appearances, and 
 appearances, in his opinion, did not seem to 
 promise anything so exquisite as the extravagant 
 praises of Killegrew would infer. As this indis- 
 creet lover was a frequent guest at the Duke of 
 Buckingham's table, he was continually employing 
 his rhetoric on this subject, and he had full oppor- 
 tunity for his harangues ; for they generally sat 
 down to dinner at four o'clock, and only rose just 
 in time for the play in the evening. 
 
 The Duke of Buckingham, whose ears were 
 continually deafened with descriptions of Lady 
 Shrewsbury's merits, resolved at last to examine 
 into the truth of the matter himself. As soon as 
 he had made the experiment, he was satisfied ; 
 and, though he fancied that fame did not exceed 
 the truth, yet this intrigue began in such a 
 manner that it was generally believed its dura- 
 tion would be short, considering the fickleness of 
 both parties, and the vivacity with which they had 
 engaged in it. Nevertheless, no amour in England 
 ever continued so long. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 409 
 
 The imprudent Killegrew, who could not be 
 satisfied without rivals, was obliged, in the end, 
 to be satisfied without a mistress. This he bore 
 very impatiently ; but so far was Lady Shrews- 
 bury from hearkening to, or affording any redress 
 for the grievances at first complained of, that she 
 pretended even not to know him. His spirit 
 could not brook such treatment, and, without 
 ever considering that he was the author of his 
 own disgrace, he let loose all his abusive elo- 
 quence against her ladyship. He attacked her 
 with the most bitter invectives from head to foot. 
 He drew a frightful picture of her conduct, and 
 turned all her personal charms, which he used to 
 extol, into defects. He was privately warned of 
 the inconveniences to which these declamations 
 might subject him, but despised the advice, and, 
 persisting, he soon had reason to repent it. 
 
 As he was returning, one evening, from the 
 Duke of York's apartments at St. James's, three 
 passes with a sword were made at him through 
 his chair, one of which went entirely through his 
 arm. Upon this he was sensible of the danger 
 to which his intemperate tongue had exposed him, 
 over and above the loss of his mistress. The 
 assassins made their escape across the park, not 
 doubting but they had despatched him. 
 
 Killegrew thought that all complaints would 
 be useless ; for what redress from justice could 
 he expect for an attempt of which his wounds 
 
41 o COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 were his only evidence ? And, besides, he was 
 convinced that if he began a prosecution founded 
 upon appearances and conjectures, the parties 
 concerned would take the shortest and most 
 effectual means to put a stop to all inquiries 
 upon the subject, and that their second attempt 
 would not prove ineffectual. Being desirous, 
 therefore, of deserving mercy from those who 
 had endeavored to assassinate him, he no longer 
 continued his satires, and said not a word of the 
 adventure. The Duke of Buckingham and Lady 
 Shrewsbury remained for a long period both 
 happy and contented. 1 Never before had her con- 
 stancy been of so long a duration, nor had he ever 
 been so submissive and respectful a lover. 
 
 This continued until Lord Shrewsbury, who 
 never before had shown the least uneasiness at 
 his lady's misconduct, thought proper to resent 
 this ; it was public enough, indeed, but less dis- 
 honourable to her than any of her former in- 
 trigues. Poor Lord Shrewsbury, too polite a 
 man to make any reproaches to his wife, was 
 resolved to have redress for his injured honour ; 
 he accordingly challenged the Duke of Bucking- 
 
 1 In a letter from Andrew Marvell, dated August 9, 1 671, he 
 says : " Buckingham runs out all with the Lady Shrewsbury, 
 whom he believes he had a son (by), to whom the king stood 
 godfather ; it died young Earl of Coventry, and was buried in 
 the sepulchre of his fathers." — MarveWs Works, vol. i. p. 406. 
 The duel in which the Earl of Shrewsbury was killed by the 
 Duke of Buckingham happened 16th March, 1667. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 411 
 
 ham, and the Duke of Buckingham, as a reparation 
 for his honour, having killed him upon the spot, 
 remained a peaceable possessor of this famous 
 Helen. The public was at first shocked at the 
 transaction ; but the public grows familiar with 
 everything by habit, and by degrees both decency 
 and even virtue itself are rendered tame and over- 
 come. The queen was at the head of those who 
 exclaimed against so public and scandalous a 
 crime, and against the impunity of such a wicked 
 act. As the Duchess of Buckingham ' was a 
 short, fat body, like her Majesty, who never had 
 any children, and whom her husband had aban- 
 doned for another, this sort of parallel in their 
 situations interested the queen in her favour, but 
 it was all in vain ; no person paid any attention to 
 them ; the licentiousness of the age went on 
 uncontrolled, though the queen endeavoured to 
 raise up the serious part of the nation, the 
 politicians and devotees, as enemies against it. 
 The fate of this princess was in many cases 
 
 •Mary, Duchess of Buckingham, was the only daughter of 
 Thomas, Lord Fairfax, and Anne, the daughter of Horace, Lord 
 Vere, a most virtuous and pious lady in a vicious age and court. 
 If she had any of the vanities, she had certainly none of the 
 vices of it. The duke and she lived lovingly and decently 
 together ; she patiently bearing with those faults in him which 
 she could not remedy. She survived him many years, and died 
 near St. James's, at Westminster, and was buried in the vault of 
 the family of Villiers, in Henry VII.'s Chapel, anno 1705, tztat 
 66." — Brian Fairfax's Life of the Duke of Buckingham., 4to, 
 I75 8 > P- 39- 
 
412 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 truly melancholy. The king, indeed, paid her 
 every outward attention; but that was all. She 
 easily perceived that the respect he entertained 
 for her daily diminished, in proportion as the 
 credit of her rivals increased. She saw that the 
 king, her husband, was now totally indifferent 
 about legitimate children, since his all-charming 
 mistresses bore him others. As all the happiness 
 of her life depended upon that blessing, and as 
 she flattered herself that the king would prove 
 kinder to her if Heaven would vouchsafe to grant 
 her desires, she had recourse to all the celebrated 
 secrets against sterility ; pious vows, nine days' 
 prayers, and offerings having been tried in all 
 manners, but all to no purpose, she was at last 
 obliged to return to natural means. 
 
 What would she have given on this occasion 
 for the ring which Archbishop Turpin wore on 
 his finger, and which made Charlemagne run after 
 him, in the same manner as it had made him run 
 after one of his concubines, from whose finger 
 Turpin had taken it after her death ! But it is 
 now many years since the only talismans for 
 creating love are the charms of the person be- 
 loved, and foreign enchantments have been looked 
 upon as ineffectual. The queen's physicians, men 
 of great prudence, sagacity, and wisdom, as they 
 always are, having duly weighed and considered 
 that the cold waters of Tunbridge had not suc- 
 ceeded in the preceding year, concluded that it 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 413 
 
 would be advisable for her to try the warm baths 
 at Bristol. 1 This journey was therefore fixed for 
 the next season, and in the confidence of its 
 proving effectual, this excursion would have 
 afforded her much pleasure if the most danger- 
 ous of her rivals had not been one of the first that 
 was appointed to attend the court. The Duchess 
 of Cleveland being then near her time, there 
 was no uneasiness on her account ; the common 
 rules of decency required a little attention. The 
 public, it is true, was not either more or less 
 acquainted with the circumstances of her situa- 
 tion, by the care which she now took to conceal it ; 
 but her appearing at court in her present condition 
 would have been too great an insult to the queen. 
 Miss Stewart, more handsome than ever, was 
 appointed for this excursion, and began to make 
 magnificent preparations. The poor queen durst 
 
 1 1 believe that Bath, not Bristol, is the place intended by the 
 author. Queen Katherine's visit to the former place was earlier 
 than to Tunbridge, being about the latter end of September, 
 1662- — See Wood's Description of Bath, vol. i. p. 217. I do not 
 find she ever was at Bristol but at the time mentioned in the 
 following extract : 
 
 " 1663. Sir John Knight, mayor. John Broadway, Richard 
 Stremer, sheriffs. 
 
 "The 5th of September, the king and queen, with James, 
 Duke of York, and his duchess, and Prince Rupert, etc., came 
 to Bristol, and were splendidly received and entertained by the 
 mayor, at a dinner provided on the occasion. They returned to 
 Bath at four o'clock. One hundred and fifty pieces of ordnance 
 were discharged in the Marsh, at three distinct times." — Barrett's 
 History, etc., 0/ Bristol, p. 692. 
 
41 4 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 say nothing against it, but all hopes of success 
 immediately forsook her. What could the baths, 
 or the feeble virtue of the waters perform against 
 charms that entirely counteracted their effects, 
 either through the grief and uneasiness they 
 occasioned her, or by their still more powerful 
 consequences ? 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, to whom all 
 pleasures were insipid without the presence of 
 Miss Hamilton, was yet unable to excuse him- 
 self from attending the court ; the king delighted 
 too much in his sprightly conversation to leave 
 him behind, and however pleasing his company 
 might have been in the solitude occasioned by 
 the absence of the court, Miss Hamilton did not 
 think it right to accept his offer of staying in 
 town, because she was obliged to remain there. 
 She, however, granted him the permission of 
 writing her an account of any news that might 
 occur upon the journey. He failed not to make 
 use of this permission, in such a manner as one 
 may imagine ; and his own concerns took up so 
 much space in his letters, that there was very 
 little room left for other subjects during his stay 
 at the baths. As absence from the object of his 
 affections rendered this place insupportable, he en- 
 gaged in everything that might dissipate his im- 
 patience, until the happy moment of return arrived. 
 
 He had a great esteem for the elder of the 
 Hamiltons ; no less esteem, and far more friend- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 415 
 
 ship for his brother, whom he made the confidant 
 of his passion and attachment for his sister. The 
 chevalier was also acquainted with his first en- 
 gagements with his cousin Wetenhall ; but being 
 ignorant of the coldness that had interrupted a 
 commerce so brisk in its commencement, he was 
 surprised at the eagerness he showed upon all 
 occasions to please Miss Stewart. His assiduity- 
 appeared to the Chevalier de Grammont to exceed 
 those civilities and attentions that are usually paid 
 for the purpose of making court to the favourites 
 of princes. He observed him more strictly, and 
 soon perceived that he was deeper in love with 
 her than was consistent either with his fortune 
 or his repose. As soon as the remarks he made 
 had confirmed him in his suspicions, he resolved 
 to use his endeavours to prevent the consequences 
 of an engagement pernicious in every respect ; 
 but he waited for a proper opportunity of speak- 
 ing to him upon the subject. 
 
 In the meantime, the court enjoyed every kind 
 of diversion, in a place where amusement is sought 
 with avidity. The game of bowls, which in France 
 is the pastime of mechanics and servants only, is 
 quite the contrary in England, where it is the 
 exercise of gentlemen, and requires both art and 
 address. It is only in use during the fair and dry 
 part of the season, and the places where it is prac- 
 tised are charming, delicious walks, called bowling- 
 greens, which are little square grass-plots, where 
 
4i 6 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the turf is almost as smooth and level as the 
 cloth of a billiard-table. As soon as the heat 
 of the day is over, all the company assemble 
 there ; they play deep, and spectators are at 
 liberty to make what bets they please. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, long before ini- 
 tiated in the English games and diversions, had 
 been engaged in a horse-race, in which he was 
 indeed unsuccessful ; but he had the satisfaction 
 of being convinced by experience, that an English 
 horse can go twenty miles upon the high road in 
 less than an hour. He was more fortunate at cock- 
 fighting, and, in the bets he made at the bowling- 
 green, the party he betted upon never failed to win. 
 
 Near all these places of diversion there is 
 usually a sort of inn, or house of entertainment, 
 with a bower or arbour, in which are sold all 
 sorts of English liquors, such as cider, mead, 
 bottled beer, and Spanish wines. Here the rooks 
 meet every evening to drink, smoke, and to try 
 their skill upon each other, or, in other words, 
 to endeavour to trick one another out of the 
 winnings of the day. These rooks are, properly 
 speaking, what we call capons or piqueurs in 
 France ; men who always carry money about 
 them, to enable them to lend to losing gamesters, 
 for which they receive a gratification, which is 
 nothing for such as play deep, as it is only two 
 per cent., and the money to be repaid the next 
 day. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 417 
 
 These gentlemen are so nice in their calcula- 
 tions, and so particularly skilful in all manner 
 of games, that no person would dare to enter 
 the lists with them, were they even assured that 
 no unfairness would be practised. Besides, they 
 make a vow to win four or five guineas a day, 
 and to be satisfied with that gain ; a vow which 
 they seldom or never break. 
 
 It was in the midst of a company of these 
 rooks that Hamilton found the Chevalier de 
 Grammont, when he called in one evening to 
 get a glass of cider. They were playing at 
 hazard ; and as he who holds the dice is supposed 
 to have the advantage, the rooks did the Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont that honour out of compliment. 
 He had the dice in his hand when Hamilton came 
 into the room. The rooks, secure of their odds, 
 were betting against him at a high rate, and he 
 took all. 
 
 Hamilton could hardly believe his eyes, to see 
 a man of his experience and knowledge engaged 
 in so unequal a contest ; but it was to no purpose 
 that he informed him of his danger, both aloud 
 in French, and in private by signs ; he still dis- 
 regarded his warnings, and the dice, that bore 
 Caesar and his fortunes, performed a miracle in 
 his favour. The rooks were defeated for the 
 first time, but not without bestowing upon him 
 all the encomiums and praises of being a very 
 fair and honourable player, which they never fail 
 
418 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 to lavish upon those whom they wish to engage 
 a second time ; but all their commendations were 
 lost, and their hopes deceived. The Chevalier 
 was satisfied with the first experiment. 
 
 Hamilton, when the king was at supper, related 
 to him how he found the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont rashly engaged with the rooks, and in what 
 manner he had been providentially preserved. 
 " Indeed, sir," said the Chevalier de Grammont, 
 "the rooks were discomfited for once," and 
 thereupon related the adventure to his Majesty 
 in his usual way, attracting the attention of all 
 the company to a circumstance trifling in itself 
 but rendered interesting by his humour. 
 
 After supper Miss Stewart, in whose apartment 
 there was play, called Hamilton to her to tell the 
 story. The Chevalier de Grammont, perceiving 
 that she attended to him with pleasure, was fully 
 confirmed in the truth of his first conjectures ; 
 and, having carried Hamilton home with him to 
 supper, they began to discourse freely together 
 as usual. " George," said the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, " are you in any want of money ? I know 
 you love play ; perhaps it may not be so favour- 
 able to you as it is to me. We are at a great 
 distance from London. Here are two hundred 
 guineas ; take them, I beseech you ; they will do 
 to play with at Miss Stewart's." Hamilton, who 
 littje expected this conclusion, was rather discon- 
 certed. " How ? at Miss Stewart's ! " " Yes, in 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 419 
 
 her apartments. Friend George," continued the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, " I have not yet lost my 
 eyes : you are in love with her, and, if I am not 
 mistaken, she is not offended at it ; but tell me 
 how you could resolve to banish poor Wetenhall 
 from your heart, and suffer yourself to be infatu- 
 ated with a girl who, perhaps, after all, is not 
 worth the other, and who, besides, whatever 
 favourable dispositions she may have for you, 
 will undoubtedly in the end prove your ruin. 
 Faith, your brother and you are two pretty 
 fellows in your choice. What ! can you find no 
 other beauties in all the court to fall in love with 
 except the king's two mistresses ! As for the 
 elder brother, I can pardon him ; he only took 
 Lady Castlemaine after his master had done with 
 her, and after Lady Chesterfield had discarded 
 him ; but, as for you, what the devil do you 
 intend to do with a creature on whom the king 
 seems every day to dote with increasing fond- 
 ness ? Is it because that drunken sot Richmond 
 has again come forward, and now declares him- 
 self one of her professed admirers ? You will 
 soon see what he will make by it ; I have not 
 forgotten what the king said to me upon the 
 subject. 
 
 " Believe me, my dear friend, there is no play- 
 ing tricks with our masters ; I mean, there is no 
 ogling their mistresses. I myself wanted to play 
 the agreeable in France with a little coquette 
 
42 o COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 whom the king did not care about, and you know 
 how dearly I paid for it. . I confess she gives you 
 fair play, but do not trust to her. All the sex 
 feel an unspeakable satisfaction at having men in 
 their train, whom they care not for, and to use 
 them as their slaves of state, merely to swell their 
 equipage. Would it not be a great deal better to 
 pass a week or ten days incognito at Peckham, 
 with the philosopher Wetenhall's wife, than to 
 have it inserted in the Dutch Gazette, We hear 
 from Bristol that such a one is banished the court 
 on account of Miss Stewart, and that he is going 
 to make a campaign in Guinea * on board the fleet 
 that is fitting out for the expedition, under the 
 command of Prince Rupert?" 
 
 Hamilton, who was the more convinced of the 
 truth of this discourse, the more he considered it, 
 after musing some time, appeared to wake from a 
 dream, and addressing himself with an air of grati- 
 tude to the Chevalier de Grammont, " Of all the 
 men in the world, my dear friend," said he, " you 
 have the most agreeable wit, and at the same time 
 the clearest judgment with respect to your friends ; 
 what you have told me has opened my eyes. I 
 began to suffer myself to be seduced by the most 
 ridiculous illusion imaginable, and to be hurried 
 away rather by frivolous appearances than any real 
 
 *This expedition was intended to have taken place in 1664. 
 A full account of it, and how it came to be laid aside, may be 
 •een in the " Continuation of Clarendon's Life," p. 225. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 421 
 
 inclination ; to you I owe the obligation of having 
 preserved me from destruction at the very brink 
 of a precipice. This is not the only kindness you 
 have done me, — your favours have been innumer- 
 able, and, as a proof of my gratitude for this last, 
 I will follow your advice, and go into retirement 
 at my cousin Wetenhall's, to eradicate from my 
 recollection every trace of those chimeras which 
 lately possessed my brain ; but so far from going 
 thither incognito, I will take you along with me, 
 as soon as the court returns to London. My 
 sister shall likewise be of the party, for it is pru- 
 dent to use all precautions with a man who, with 
 a great deal of merit, 'on such occasions is not 
 overscrupulous, if we may credit your philoso- 
 pher." " Do not pay any attention to that pedant," 
 replied the Chevalier de Grammont ; " but tell me 
 what put it into your head to form a design upon 
 that inanimate statue, Miss Stewart ? " " How 
 the devil should I know?" said Hamilton; "you 
 are acquainted with all her childish amusements. 
 The old Lord Carlingford ' was at her apartment 
 one evening, showing her how to hold a lighted 
 wax candle in her mouth, and the grand secret 
 consisted in keeping the burning end there a long 
 time without its being extinguished. I have, 
 
 1 Sir Theobald Taaffe, the second Viscount Taaffe, created 
 Earl of Carlingford, in the county of Louth, by privy seal, 17th 
 June, 1661, and by patent, 26th June, 1662. He died 31st 
 December, 1677. 
 
422 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 thank God, a pretty large mouth, and, in order 
 to outdo her teacher, I took two candles into my 
 mouth at the same time, and walked three times 
 around the room without their going out. Every 
 person present adjudged me the prize of this illus- 
 trious experiment, and Killegrew maintained that 
 nothing but a lanthorn could stand in competition 
 with me. Upon this she was like to die with 
 laughing, and thus was I admitted into the famil- 
 iarity of her amusements. It is impossible to 
 deny her being one of the most charming creatures 
 that ever was. Since the court has been in the 
 country I have had a hundred opportunities of 
 seeing her, which I had not before. You know 
 that the dishabille of the bath is a great conve- 
 nience for those ladies who, strictly adhering to all 
 the rules of decorum, are yet desirous to display 
 all their charms and attractions. Miss Stewart is 
 so fully acquainted with the advantages she pos- 
 sesses over all other women, that it is hardly 
 possible to praise any lady at court for a well- 
 turned arm, and a fine leg, but she is ever ready 
 to dispute the point by demonstration ; and I 
 really believe that, with a little address, it would 
 not be difficult to induce her to strip naked, with- 
 out ever reflecting upon what she was doing. 
 After all, a man must be very insensible to remain 
 unconcerned and unmoved on such happy occa- 
 sions ; and, besides, the good opinion we entertain 
 of ourselves is apt to make us think a woman is 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 423 
 
 smitten as soon as she distinguishes us by habitual 
 familiarity, which most commonly signifies noth- 
 ing. This is the truth of the matter with respect 
 to myself. My own presumption, her beauty, the 
 brilliant station that sets it off, and a thousand 
 kind things she had said to me, prevented me 
 from making serious reflections ; but then, as some 
 excuse for my folly, I must likewise tell you that 
 the facility I found in making her the tenderest 
 declarations by commending her, and her telling 
 me in confidence a thousand things which she 
 ought not to have entrusted me with, might have 
 deceived or infatuated any other man as well as 
 myself. 
 
 " I presented her with one of the prettiest horses 
 in England. You know what peculiar grace and 
 elegance distinguish her on horseback. The king, 
 who, of all the diversions of the chase, likes none 
 but hawking, because it is the most convenient 
 for the ladies, went out the other day to take this 
 amusement, attended by all the beauties of his 
 court. His Majesty having galloped after a falcon, 
 and the whole bright squadron after him, the 
 rustling of Miss Stewart's petticoats frightened 
 her horse, which was at full speed, endeavouring 
 to come up with mine, that had been his compan- 
 ion ; so that I was the only witness of a disorder 
 in her clothes, which displayed a thousand new 
 beauties to my view. I had the good fortune to 
 make such gallant and flattering exclamations upon 
 
42 4 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 that charming disorder as to prevent her being 
 concerned or out of countenance upon it ; on the 
 contrary, this subject of my admiration has been 
 frequently since the subject of our conversation, 
 and did not seem to displease her. 
 
 "Old Lord Carlingford, and that mad fellow, 
 Crofts ' (for I must now make you my general 
 confession), those insipid buffoons, were frequently 
 telling her some diverting stories, which passed 
 pretty well with the help of a few old threadbare 
 jests, or some apish tricks in the recital, which 
 made her laugh heartily. As for myself, who know 
 no stories, and do not possess the talent of im- 
 proving them by telling, if I did know any, I was 
 often greatly embarrassed when she desired me 
 to tell her one. « I do not know one, indeed,' said 
 I, one day when she was teazing me on the sub- 
 ject. 'Invent one, then,' said she. 'That would 
 be still more difficult,' replied I ; 'but if you will 
 give me leave, madam, I will relate to you a very 
 extraordinary dream, which has, however, less ap- 
 pearance of truth in it than dreams generally have.' 
 This excited her curiosity, which would brook no 
 denial. I therefore began to tell her that the most 
 
 1 William, Baron of Crofts, groom of the stole, and gentleman 
 of the bedchamber to the Duke of York ; captain of a regiment 
 of guards of the queen-mother, gentleman of the bedchamber to 
 the king, and ambassador to Poland. He had been sent to France 
 by the Duke of York, to congratulate Louis XIV. on the birth of 
 the dauphin. See Biog. Brit, old ed., vol. iv., p 2738, and " Con- 
 tinuation of Clarendon," p. 294. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 425 
 
 beautiful creature in the world, whom I loved to 
 distraction, paid me a visit in my sleep. I then 
 drew her own portrait, with a rapturous description 
 of all her beauties ; adding, that this goddess, who 
 came to visit me with the most favourable inten- 
 tions, did not counteract them by any unreasonable 
 cruelty. This was not sufficient to satisfy Miss 
 Stewart's curiosity. I was obliged to relate every 
 particular circumstance of the kindness I experi- 
 enced from this delicate phantom ; to which she 
 was so very attentive that she never once ap- 
 peared surprised or disconcerted at the luscious 
 tale. On the contrary, she made me repeat the 
 description of the beauty, which I drew as near 
 as possible after her own person, and after such 
 charms as I imagined of beauties that were 
 unknown to me. 
 
 " This is, in fact, the very thing that had almost 
 deprived me of my senses ; she knew very well 
 that she herself was the person I was describing. 
 We were alone, as you may imagine, when I told 
 her this story ; and my eyes did their utmost to 
 persuade her that it was herself whom I drew. I 
 perceived that she was not in the least offended 
 at knowing this ; nor was her modesty in the least 
 alarmed at the relation of a fiction, which I might 
 have concluded in a manner still less discreet, if I 
 had thought proper. This patient audience made 
 me plunge headlong into the ocean of flattering 
 ideas that presented themselves to my imagination. 
 
426 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 I then no longer thought of the king, nor how pas- 
 sionately fond he was of her, nor of the dangers 
 attendant upon such an engagement ; in short, I 
 know not what the devil I was thinking of ; but 
 I am very certain that, if you had not been think- 
 ing for me, I might have found my ruin in the 
 midst of these distracted visions." 
 
 Not long after, the court returned to London ; 
 and from that time, some malevolent star having 
 gained the ascendent, everything went cross in 
 the empire of Love : vexation, suspicions, or jeal- 
 ousies first entered the field, to set all hearts at 
 variance ; next, false reports, slander, and disputes 
 completed the ruin of all. 
 
 The Duchess of Cleveland had been brought to 
 bed while the court was at Bristol ; and never be- 
 fore had she recovered from her lying-in with such 
 a profusion of charms. This made her believe that 
 she was in a proper state to retrieve her ancient 
 rights over the king's heart, if she had an oppor- 
 tunity of appearing before him with this increased 
 splendour. Her friends being of the same opin- 
 ion, her equipage was prepared for this expedition ; 
 but the very evening before the day she had fixed 
 on to set out, she saw young Churchill,' and was 
 
 1 Afterward the celebrated Duke of Marlborough. He was 
 born midsummer day, 1650, and died June 16, 1722. Bishop 
 Burnet takes notice of the discovery of this intrigue. "The 
 Duchess of Cleveland, finding that she had lost the king, aban- 
 doned herself to great disorders ; one of which, by the artifice 
 of the Duke of Buckingham, was discovered by the king in per- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 427 
 
 at once seized with a disease, which had more 
 than once opposed her projects, and which she 
 could never completely get the better of. 
 
 A man who, from an ensign in the guards, was 
 raised to such a fortune, must certainly possess an 
 uncommon share of prudence not to be intoxicated 
 with his happiness. Churchill boasted in 3II places 
 of the new favour he had received. The Duchess 
 of Cleveland, who neither recommended to him 
 circumspection in his behaviour nor in his conver- 
 sation, did not seem to be in the least concerned 
 at his indiscretion. Thus this intrigue was be- 
 come a general topic in all companies, when the 
 court arrived in London, and occasioned an im- 
 mense number of speculations and reasonings. 
 Some said she had already presented him with 
 Jermyn's pension and Jacob Hall's salary, because 
 the merits and qualifications of both were united 
 in his person. Others maintained that he had too 
 indolent an air and too delicate a shape long to 
 maintain himself in her favour ; but all agreed that 
 a man who was the favourite of the king's mistress, 
 
 son, the party concerned leaping out of the window." — History 
 of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 370. This was in 1668. A very 
 particular account of this intrigue is to be seen in the " Ata- 
 lantis " of Mrs. Manley, vol. i. p. 30. The same writer, who had 
 lived as companion to the Duchess of Cleveland, says, in the 
 account of her own life, that she was an eye-witness when 
 the duke, who had received thousands from the duchess, refused 
 the common civility of lending her twenty guineas at basset. — 
 The History of Rivella, 4th ed. 1725, p. 33. 
 
428 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 and brother to the duke's favourite, was in a fair 
 way of preferment, and could not fail to make his 
 fortune. As a proof, the Duke of York soon 
 after gave him a place in his household. This 
 was naturally to be expected ; but the king, who 
 did not think that Lady Cleveland's kindness to 
 him was-a sufficient recommendation to his favour, 
 thought proper to forbid him the court. 
 
 This good-natured king began now to be rather 
 peevish ; nor was it altogether without reason. 
 He disturbed no person in their amours, and yet 
 others had often the presumption to encroach 
 upon his. Lord Dorset, first lord of the bed- 
 chamber, had lately debauched from his service 
 Nell Gwyn, the actress. 1 Lady Cleveland, whom 
 
 1 On this passage, the first translator of this work, Mr. Boyer, 
 has the following note : " The author of these memoirs is some- 
 what mistaken in this particular, for Nell Gwyn was my Lord 
 Dorset's mistress before the king fell in love with her ; and I was 
 told by the late Mr. Dryden, that the king, having a mind to get 
 her from his lordship, sent him upon a sleeveless errand to 
 France. However, it is not improbable that Nell was afterward 
 kind to her first lover." Of the early part of Nell's life, little is 
 known but what may be collected from the lampoons of the 
 times, in which it is said that she was born in a night-cellar, sold 
 fish about the streets, rambled from tavern to tavern, entertain 
 ing the company after dinner and supper with songs (her voice 
 being very agreeable) ; was next taken into the house of Madame 
 Ross, a noted courtesan, and was afterward admitted into the 
 theatre, where she became the mistress of both Hart and 
 Lacey, the celebrated actors. Other accounts say she was born 
 in a cellar in the Coal-yard in Drury Lane, and that she was first 
 taken notice of when selling oranges in the playhouse. She be- 
 longed to the king's company at Drury Lane, and, according to 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 429 
 
 he now no longer regarded, continued to disgrace 
 him by repeated infidelities with unworthy rivals, 
 and almost ruined him by the immense sums she 
 lavished on her gallants ; but that which most 
 sensibly affected him was the late coldness and 
 
 Downes, was received as an actress a few years after that house 
 was opened in 1663. The first notice I find of her is in the year 
 1668, when she performed in Dryden's play of " Secret Love," 
 after which she may be traced every year until 1672, when I con- 
 jecture she quitted the stage. Her forte appears to have been 
 comedy. In an epilogue to "Tyrannic Love," spoken by her, 
 she says : 
 
 "... I walk, because I die 
 
 Out of my calling in a tragedy." 
 
 And from the same authority it may be collected that her person 
 was small, and she was negligent in her dress. Her son, the 
 Duke of St. Albans, was born before she left the stage, viz., 
 May 8, 1670. Bishop Burnet speaks of her in these terms: 
 " Gwyn, the indiscreetest and wildest creature that ever was in a 
 court, continued, to the end of the king's life, in great favour, 
 and was maintained at a vast expense. The Duke of Bucking- 
 ham told me that when she was first brought to the king, she 
 asked only five hundred pounds a year, and the king refused it. 
 But when he told me this, about four years after, he said she 
 had got of the king above sixty thousand pounds. She acted 
 all persons in so lively a manner, and was such a constant diver- 
 sion to the king, that even a new mistress could not drive her 
 away ; but, after all, he never treated her with the decencies of 
 a mistress." — History of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 369. The 
 same author notices the king's attention to her on his death-bed. 
 Cibber, who was dissatisfied with the bishop's account of Nell, 
 says : " If we consider her in all the disadvantages of her rank 
 and education, she does not appear to have had any criminal 
 errors, more remarkable than her sex's frailty, to answer for; 
 and if the same author, in his latter end of that prince's life, 
 
43° COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 threats of Miss Stewart. He long since had 
 offered her all the settlements and all the titles 
 she could desire, until he had an opportunity more 
 effectually to provide for her, which she had pre- 
 tended only to decline, for fear of the scandal they 
 
 seems to reproach his memory with too kind a concern for her 
 support, we may allow it becomes a bishop to have had no eyes 
 or taste for the frivolous charms or playful badinage of a king's 
 mistress. Yet, if the common fame of her may be believed, 
 which, in my memory was not doubted, she had less to be laid to 
 her charge than any other of those ladies who were in the same 
 state of preferment. She never meddled in matters of serious 
 moment, or was the tool of working politicians; never broke 
 into those amorous infidelities which others, in that grave 
 author, are accused of, but was as visibly distinguished by her 
 particular personal inclination to the king as her rivals were by 
 their titles and grandeur." — Cibber^s Apology, 8vo, p. 450. One 
 of Madame Sevigne's letters exhibits no bad portrait of Mrs. 
 
 Gwyn: " Mademoiselle de K (Kerouaille, afterward Duchess 
 
 of Portsmouth) has not been disappointed in anything she pro- 
 posed. She desired to be mistress to the king, and she is so. 
 He lodges with her almost every night, in the face of all the 
 court. She has had a son, who has been acknowledged and 
 presented with two duchies. She amasses treasure, and makes 
 herself feared and respected by as many as she can. But she 
 did not foresee that she should find a young actress in her way, 
 whom the king dotes on; and she has it not in her power to 
 withdraw him from her. He divides his care, his time, and his 
 health between these two. The actress is as haughty as made- 
 moiselle. She insults her, she makes grimaces at her, she 
 attacks her, she frequently steals the king from her, and boasts 
 whenever he gives her the preference. She is young, indiscreet, 
 confident, wild, and of an agreeable humour; she sings, she 
 dances, she acts her part with a good grace. She has a son by 
 the king, and hopes to have him acknowledged. As to made- 
 moiselle, she reasons thus : This duchess, says she, pretends to 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 431 
 
 might occasion on her being raised to a rank 
 which would attract the public notice ; but since 
 the return of the court she had given herself other 
 airs. Sometimes she was for retiring from court, 
 to appease the continual uneasiness her presence 
 
 be a person of quality. She says she is related to the best fami- 
 lies inTrance ; whenever any person of distinction dies, she puts 
 herself in mourning. If she be a lady of such quality, why does 
 she demean herself to be a courtesan ? She ought to die with 
 shame. As for me, it is my profession ; I do not pretend to any- 
 thing better. He has a son by me. I pretend that he ought to 
 acknowledge him ; and I am well assured he will, for he loves 
 me as well as mademoiselle. This creature gets the upper hand, 
 and discountenances and embarrasses the duchess extremely." — 
 Letter 92. Mr. Pennant says : " She resided at her house, in 
 what was then called Pall Mall. It is the first good one on the 
 left hand of St. James's Square, as we enter from Pall Mall. 
 The back room on the ground floor was (within memory) entirely 
 of looking-glass, as was said to have been the ceiling. Over the 
 chimney was her picture, and that of her sister was in a third 
 room." — Lo7idon, p. 101. At this house she died, in the year 
 1691, and was pompously interred in the parish church of St. 
 Martin's in the fields, Doctor Tennison, then vicar, and after- 
 ward Archbishop of Canterbury, preaching her funeral sermon 
 This sermon, we learn, was shortly afterward brought forward at 
 court by Lord Jersey, to impede the doctor's preferment ; but 
 Queen Mary, having heard the objection, answered, " What 
 then ? " in a sort of discomposure to which she was but little 
 subject; " I have heard as much. This is a sign that that poor 
 unfortunate woman died penitent ; for, if I can read a man's 
 heart through his looks, had not she made a pious and Christian 
 end the doctor could never have been induced to speak well of 
 her." — Life of Dr. Thomas Tennison, p. 20. Cibber also says 
 he had been unquestionably informed that our fair offender's 
 repentance appeared in all the contrite symptoms of a Christian 
 sincerity. — Gibber's Apology, p. 451. 
 
432 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 gave the queen ; at other times it was to avoid 
 temptations, by which she wished to insinuate that 
 her innocence was still preserved. In short, the 
 king's heart was continually distracted by alarms, 
 or oppressed by humour and caprice. 
 
 As he could not for his life imagine what Miss 
 Stewart wished him to do, or what she would be 
 at, he thought upon reforming his establishment 
 of mistresses, to try whether jealousy was not the 
 real occasion of her uneasiness. It was for this 
 reason that, after having solemnly declared he 
 would have nothing more to say to the Duchess 
 of Cleveland since her intrigue with Churchill, he 
 discarded, without any exception, all the other 
 mistresses which he had in the various parts of 
 the town. The Nell Gwyns, the Misses Davis, 1 
 and the joyous train of singers and dancers in his 
 Majesty's theatre were all dismissed. All these 
 
 1 Mrs. Mary Davis was an actress belonging to the duke's 
 theatre. She was, according to Downes, one of the four female 
 performers who boarded in Sir William Davenant's own house, 
 and was on the stage as early as 1664, her name being to be seen 
 in "The Stepmother," acted in that year. She performed the 
 character of Celia in " The Rivals," altered by Davenant from the 
 "Two Noble Kinsmen" of Fletcher and Shakespeare in 1668; 
 and in singing several wild and mad songs so charmed his Maj- 
 esty that she was from that time received into his favour, and 
 had by him a daughter, Mary Tudor, born October, 1673, mar- 
 ried in August, 1687, to Francis Ratcliff, Earl of Derwentwater. 
 Burnet says Miss Davis did not keep her hold on the king long, 
 which may be doubted, as her daughter was born four years 
 after she was first noticed by his Majesty. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 433 
 
 sacrifices were ineffectual. Miss Stewart con- 
 tinued to torment and almost to drive the king to 
 distraction ; but his Majesty soon after found out 
 the real cause of this coldness. 
 
 This discovery was owing to the officious 
 Duchess of Cleveland, who, ever since her dis- 
 grace, had railed most bitterly against Miss Stew- 
 art as the cause of it, and against the king's 
 weakness, who, for an inanimate idiot, had treated 
 her with so much indignity. As some of her 
 Grace's creatures were still in the king's con- 
 fidence, by their means she was informed of the 
 king's uneasiness, and that Miss Stewart's be- 
 haviour was the occasion of it ; and as soon as 
 she had found the opportunity she had so long 
 wished for, she went directly into the king's 
 cabinet, through the apartment of one of his 
 pages called Chiffinch. This way was not new 
 to her. 
 
 The king was just returned from visiting Miss 
 Stewart in a very ill humour ; the presence of the 
 Duchess of Cleveland surprised him, and did not 
 in the least diminish it. She, perceiving this, 
 accosted him in an ironical tone, and with a smile 
 of indignation. " I hope," said she, " I may be 
 allowed to pay you my homage, although the 
 angelic Stewart has forbid you to see me at my 
 own house. I will not make use of reproaches 
 and expostulations, which would disgrace myself ; 
 still less will I endeavour to excuse frailties which 
 
434 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 nothing can justify, since your constancy for me 
 deprives me of all defence, considering I am the 
 only person you have honoured with your tender- 
 ness, who has made herself unworthy of it by ill 
 conduct. I come now, therefore, with no other 
 intent than to comfort and condole with you upon 
 the affliction and grief into which the coldness or 
 new-fashioned chastity of the inhuman Stewart 
 have reduced your Majesty." These words were 
 attended by a fit of laughter, as unnatural and 
 strained as it was insulting and immoderate, 
 which completed the king's impatience. He had, 
 indeed, expected that some bitter jest would follow 
 this preamble, but he did not suppose she would 
 have given herself such blustering airs, consider- 
 ing the terms they were then upon ; and as he was 
 preparing to answer her, " Be not offended," said 
 she, "that I take the liberty of laughing at the 
 gross manner in which you are imposed upon. I 
 cannot bear to see that such particular affectation 
 should make you the jest of your own court, and 
 that you should be ridiculed with such impunity. 
 I know that the affected Stewart has sent you 
 away, under pretence of some indisposition, or 
 perhaps some scruple of conscience, and I come to 
 acquaint you that the Duke of Richmond will 
 soon be with her, if he is not there already. I 
 do not desire you to believe what I say, since it 
 might be suggested either through resentment or 
 envy ; only follow me to her apartment, either 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 435 
 
 that, no longer trusting calumny and malice, you 
 may honour her with a just preference, if I accuse 
 her falsely, or, if my information be true, you may 
 no longer be the dupe of a pretended prude, who 
 makes you act so unbecoming and ridiculous a 
 part." 
 
 As she ended this speech, she took him by the 
 hand, while he was yet undecided, and pulled him 
 away toward her rival's apartments. Chiffinch • 
 being in her interest, Miss Stewart could have no 
 warning of the visit, and Babiani, who owed all to 
 the Duchess of Cleveland, and who served her 
 admirably well upon this occasion, came and told 
 her that the Duke of Richmond had just gone 
 into Miss Stewart's chamber. It was in the 
 
 1 The name of this person occurs very often in the secret 
 history of this reign. Wood, in enumerating the king's supper 
 companions, says they meet " either in the lodgings of Lodovisa, 
 Duchess of Portsmouth, or in those of Cheffing (Chif- 
 finch), near the back stairs, or in the apartment of Eleanor Quin 
 (Gwyn), or in that of Baptist May; but he losing his credit 
 
 Cheffing had the greatest trust among them." — Athence 
 
 Oxon, vol. ii. 1038. So great was the confidence reposed in 
 him, that he was the receiver of the secret pensions paid by the 
 court of France to the King of England. See the " Duke of 
 Leeds's Letters," 1710, pp. 9, 17, 33. 
 
 Chiffinch's more important duties are intimated in the begin- 
 ning of a satirical poem of the time, entitled " Sir Edmondbury 
 Godfrey's Ghost." 
 
 " It happen'd, in the twilight of the day, 
 As England's monarch in his closet lay, 
 And Chiffinch stepp'd to fetch the female prey, 
 The bloody shape of Godfrey did appear," etc. 
 
436 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 middle of a little gallery, which, through a private 
 door, led from the king's apartments to those of 
 his mistresses. The Duchess of Cleveland wished 
 him good night, as he entered her rival's chamber, 
 and retired, in order to wait the success of the 
 adventure, of which Babiani, who attended the 
 king, was charged to come and give her an 
 account. 
 
 It was near midnight. The king, in his way, 
 met his mistress's chambermaids, who respect- 
 fully opposed his entrance, and in a very low voice 
 whispered his Majesty that Miss Stewart had been 
 very ill since he left her ; but that, being gone to 
 bed, she was, God be thanked, in a very fine 
 sleep. " That I must see," said the king, pushing 
 her back, who had posted herself in his way. He 
 found Miss Stewart in bed, indeed, but far from 
 being asleep. The Duke of Richmond was seated 
 at her pillow, and in all probability was less in- 
 clined to sleep than herself. The perplexity of 
 the one party, and the rage of the other, were 
 such as may easily be imagined upon such a 
 surprise. The king, who, of all men, was one of 
 the most mild and gentle, testified his resentment 
 to the Duke of Richmond in such terms as he had 
 never before used. The duke was speechless, and 
 almost petrified. He saw his master and his king 
 justly irritated. The first transports which rage 
 inspires on such occasions are dangerous. Miss 
 Stewart's window was very convenient for a sud- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 437 
 
 den revenge, the Thames flowing close beneath 
 it. He cast his eyes upon it, and, seeing those 
 of the king more incensed and fired with indigna- 
 tion than he thought his nature capable of, he 
 made a profound bow, and retired, without reply- 
 ing a single word to the vast torrent of threats 
 and menaces that were poured upon him. 
 
 Miss Stewart, having a little recovered from her 
 first surprise, 1 instead of justifying herself, began 
 to talk in the most extravagant manner, and said 
 everything that was most capable to inflame the 
 king's passion and resentment ; that, if she were 
 not allowed to receive visits from a man of the 
 Duke of Richmond's rank, who came with honour- 
 able intentions, she was a slave in a free country ; 
 that she knew of no engagement that could pre- 
 vent her from disposing of her hand as she 
 thought proper; but, however, if this was not 
 permitted her in his dominions, she did not believe 
 that there was any power on earth that could 
 hinder her from going over to France and throw- 
 ing herself into a convent, to enjoy there that 
 tranquillity which was denied her in his court. 
 The king, sometimes furious with anger, some- 
 times relenting at her tears, and sometimes terri- 
 fied at her menaces, was so greatly agitated that 
 he knew not how to answer, either the nicety of a 
 creature who wanted to act the part of Lucretia 
 
 1 See Bishop Burnet's account of Miss Stewart's marriage in 
 his " History of his Own Times," vol. i. p. 353. 
 
438 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 under his own eye, or the assurance with which 
 she had the effrontery to reproach him. In this 
 suspense, love had almost entirely vanquished all 
 his resentments, and had nearly induced him to 
 throw himself upon his knees and entreat pardon 
 for the injury he had done her, when she desired 
 him to retire, and leave her in repose at least for 
 the remainder of that night, without offending 
 those who had either accompanied him, or con- 
 ducted him to her apartments, by a longer visit. 
 This impertinent request provoked and irritated 
 him to the highest degree. He went out abruptly, 
 vowing never to see her more, and passed the 
 most restless and uneasy night he had ever expe- 
 rienced since his restoration. 
 
 The next day the Duke of Richmond received 
 orders to quit the court, and never more to 
 appear before the king ; but it seems he had not 
 waited for those orders, having set out early that 
 morning for his country-seat. 
 
 Miss Stewart, in order to obviate all injurious 
 constructions that might be put upon the adven- 
 ture of the preceding night, went and threw her- 
 self at the queen's feet ; where, acting the new 
 part of an innocent Magdalen, she entreated her 
 Majesty's forgiveness for all the sorrow and un- 
 easiness she might have already occasioned her. 
 She told her Majesty that a constant and sincere 
 repentance had induced her to contrive all possible 
 means for retiring from court ; that this reason 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 439 
 
 had inclined her to receive the Duke of Rich- 
 mond's addresses, who had courted her a long 
 time ; but since this courtship had caused his 
 disgrace, and had likewise raised a vast noise and 
 disturbance, which perhaps might be turned to 
 the prejudice of her reputation, she conjured her 
 Majesty to take her under her protection, and 
 endeavour to obtain the king's permission for her 
 to retire into a convent, to remove at once all 
 those vexations and troubles her presence had 
 innocently occasioned at court. All this was 
 accompanied with a proper deluge of tears. 
 
 It is a very agreeable spectacle to see a rival 
 prostrate at our feet, entreating pardon, and at 
 the same time justifying her conduct. The 
 queen's heart not only relented, but she mingled 
 her own tears with those of Miss Stewart. After 
 having raised her up, and most tenderly embraced 
 her, she promised her all manner of favour and 
 protection, either in her marriage or in any other 
 course she thought fit to pursue, and parted from 
 her with the firm resolution to exert all her 
 interest in her support. But, being a person of 
 great judgment, the reflections which she after- 
 ward made induced her to change her opinion. 
 
 She knew that the king's disposition was not 
 capable of an obstinate constancy. She therefore 
 judged that absence would cure him, or that a new 
 engagement would by degrees entirely efface the 
 remembrance of Miss Stewart ; and that, since 
 
44° COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 she could not avoid having a rival, it was more 
 desirable she should be one who had given such 
 eminent proofs of her prudence and virtue. Be- 
 sides, she flattered herself that the king would 
 ever think himself eternally obliged to her, for 
 having opposed the retreat and marriage of a girl 
 whom at that time he loved to distraction. This 
 fine reasoning determined her conduct. All her 
 industry was employed in persuading Miss Stewart 
 to abandon her schemes ; and what is most ex- 
 traordinary in this adventure is that, after having 
 prevailed upon her to think no more either of the 
 Duke of Richmond, or of a nunnery, she charged 
 herself with the office of reconciling these two 
 lovers. 
 
 Indeed it would have been a thousand pities if 
 her negotiation had miscarried, but she did not 
 suffer this misfortune ; for never were the king's 
 addresses so eager and passionate as after this 
 peace, nor ever better received by the fair 
 Stewart. 
 
 His Majesty did not long enjoy the sweets of a 
 reconciliation, which brought him into the best 
 good humour possible, as we shall see. All 
 Europe was in a profound peace since the treaty 
 of the Pyrenees. Spain flattered herself she 
 should be able to recruit, by means of the new 
 alliance she had contracted with the most formi- 
 dable of her neighbours ; but despaired of being 
 able to support the shattered remains of a declin- 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 44 1 
 
 ing monarchy, when she considered the age and 
 infirmities of her prince, or the weakness of his 
 successor. France, on the contrary, governed 
 by a king indefatigable in business, young, vigi- 
 lant, and ambitious of glory, wanted nothing but 
 inclination to aggrandise herself. 
 
 It was about this time that the King of France, 
 not willing to disturb the tranquillity of Europe, 
 was persuaded to alarm the coasts of Africa by an 
 attempt, which, if it had even been crowned with 
 success, would have produced little good ; but 
 the king's fortune, ever faithful to his glory, has 
 since made it appear, by the miscarriage of the 
 expedition of Gigeri, 1 that such projects only as 
 were planned by himself were worthy of his 
 attention. 
 
 A short time after, the King of England, having 
 resolved also to explore the African coasts, fitted 
 out a squadron for an expedition to Guinea, which 
 was to be commanded by Prince Rupert. Those 
 who, from their own experience, had some knowl- 
 edge of the country, related strange and wonder- 
 
 1 Gigeri is about forty leagues from Algiers. Till the year 
 1664 the French had a factory there; but then attempting to 
 build a fort on the seacoast, to be a check upon the Arabs, they 
 came down from the mountains, beat the French out of Gigeri, 
 and demolished their fort. Sir Richard Fanshaw, in a letter to 
 the deputy governor of Tangier, dated 2d December, 1664, 
 N. S., says : " We have certain intelligence that the French 
 have lost Gigheria, with all they had there, and their fleet come 
 back, with the loss of one considerable ship upon the rocks near 
 Marseilles." — Fanshaw 's Letters, vol. i. p. 347. 
 
442 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 ful stories of the dangers attendant upon this 
 expedition ; that they would have to fight not only 
 the inhabitants of Guinea, a hellish people, whose 
 arrows were poisoned, and who never gave their 
 prisoners better quarter than to devour them, but 
 that they must likewise endure heats that were 
 insupportable, and rains that were intolerable, 
 every drop of which was changed into a serpent ; 
 that, if they penetrated farther into the country, 
 they would be assaulted by monsters a thousand 
 times more hideous and destructive than all the 
 beasts mentioned in the Revelations. 
 
 But all these reports were vain and ineffectual ; 
 for so far from striking terror into those who 
 were appointed to go upon this expedition, it 
 rather acted as an incentive to glory, upon those 
 who had no manner of business in it. Jermyn 
 appeared among the foremost of these ; and, with- 
 out reflecting that the pretence of his indisposition 
 had delayed the conclusion of his marriage with 
 Miss Jennings, he asked the duke's permission and 
 the king's consent to serve in it as a volunteer. 
 
 Some time before this, the infatuation which 
 had imposed upon the fair Jennings in his fa- 
 vour had begun to subside. All that now inclined 
 her to this match were the advantages of a set- 
 tlement. The careless indolence of a lover, who 
 faintly paid his addresses to her, as it were from 
 custom or habit, disgusted her ; and the resolution 
 he had taken, without consulting her, appeared so 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 443 
 
 ridiculous in him, and so injurious to herself, that, 
 from that moment, she resolved to think no more 
 of him. Her eyes being opened by degrees, she 
 saw the fallacy of the splendour, which had at 
 first deceived her ; and the renowned Jermyn was 
 received according to his real merit when he came 
 to acquaint her with his heroical project. There 
 appeared so much indifference and ease in the 
 raillery with which she complimented him upon 
 his voyage, that he was entirely disconcerted, and 
 so much the more so, as he had prepared all the 
 arguments he thought capable of consoling her, 
 upon announcing to her the fatal news of his 
 departure. She told him " that nothing could be 
 more glorious for him, who had triumphed over 
 the liberty of so many persons in Europe, than to 
 go and extend his conquests in other parts of the 
 world ; and that she advised him to bring home 
 with him all the female captives he might make 
 in Africa, in order to replace those beauties whom 
 his absence would bring to the grave." 
 
 Jermyn was highly displeased that she should 
 be capable of raillery in the condition he supposed 
 her reduced to ; but he soon perceived she was in 
 earnest. She told him that she considered this fare- 
 well visit as his last, and desired him not to think 
 of making her any more before his departure. 
 
 Thus far everything went well on her side. 
 Jermyn was not only confounded at having re- 
 ceived his discharge in so cavalier a manner ; but 
 
444 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 this very demonstration of her indifference had 
 revived, and even redoubled, all the love and affec- 
 tion he had formerly felt for her. Thus she had 
 both the pleasure of despising him, and of seeing 
 him more entangled in the chains of love than he 
 had ever been before. This was not sufficient ; 
 she wished still further, and very unadvisedly, to 
 strain her resentment. 
 
 Ovid's Epistles, 1 translated into English verse 
 by the greatest wits at court, having lately been 
 published, she wrote a letter from a shepherdess 
 in despair, addressed to the perfidious Jermyn. 
 She took the epistle of Ariadne to Theseus for 
 her model. The beginning of this letter con- 
 tained, word for word, the complaints and re- 
 proaches of that injured fair to the cruel man 
 by whom she had been abandoned. All this was 
 properly adapted to the present times and circum- 
 stances. It was her design to have closed this 
 piece with a description of the toils, perils, and 
 monsters that awaited him in Guinea, for which 
 he quitted a tender mistress, who was plunged 
 into the abyss of misery, and was overwhelmed 
 with grief and despair; but not having had time 
 to finish it, nor to get that which she had written 
 transcribed, in order to send it to him under a 
 feigned name, she inconsiderately put this frag- 
 ment, written in her own hand, into her pocket, 
 
 1 This is the translation of Ovid's Epistles published by Mr. 
 Dryden. The second edition of it was printed in 1671. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 445 
 
 and, still more giddily, dropped it in the middle 
 of the court. Those who took it up, knowing her 
 writing, made several copies of it, which were cir- 
 culated all over the town ; but her former conduct 
 had so well established the reputation of her vir- 
 tue, that no person entertained the smallest doubt 
 but the circumstances were exactly as we have 
 related them. Some time after the Guinea expe- 
 dition was laid aside for reasons that are uni- 
 versally known, and Miss Jennings's subsequent 
 proceedings fully justified her letter ; for, not- 
 withstanding all the efforts and attentions Jer- 
 myn practised to regain her affections, she would 
 never more hear of him. 
 
 But he was not the only man who experienced 
 the whimsical fatality, that seemed to delight in dis- 
 uniting hearts, in order to engage them soon after 
 to different objects. One would have imagined 
 that the God of Love, actuated by some new 
 caprice, had placed his empire under the domin- 
 ion of Hymen, and had, at the same time, blind- 
 folded that god, in order to crossmatch most of 
 the lovers whom we have been speaking of. 
 
 The fair Stewart married the Duke of Rich- 
 mond ; the invincible Jermyn, a silly country 
 girl; 1 Lord Rochester, a melancholy heiress; 2 
 
 1 Miss Gibbs, daughter of a gentleman in the county of 
 Cambridge. 
 
 2 Elizabeth, daughter of John Mallet, of Enmere, in the 
 county of Somerset. 
 
446 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 the sprightly Temple, the serious Lyttleton ; 
 Talbot, without knowing why or wherefore, took 
 to wife the languishing Boynton ; ' George Hamil- 
 ton, under more favourable auspices, married the 
 lovely Jennings ; and the Chevalier de Grammont, 
 as the reward of a constancy he had never before 
 known, and which he never afterward practised, 
 found Hymen and Love united in his favour, and 
 was at last blessed with the possession of Miss 
 Hamilton. 2 
 
 1 After the deaths of Miss Boynton and of George Hamilton, 
 Talbot married Miss Jennings, and became afterward Duke of 
 Tyrconnel. 
 
 *"The famous Count Grammont was thought to be the 
 original of ' The Forced Marriage.' This nobleman, during 
 his stay at the court of England, had made love to Miss Hamil- 
 ton, but was coming away for France without bringing matters 
 to a proper conclusion. The young lady's brothers pursued him, 
 and came up with him near Dover, in order to exchange some 
 pistol-shot with him. They called out, ' Count Grammont, have 
 you forgot nothing at London?' 'Excuse me,' answered the 
 count, guessing their errand, ' I forgot to marry your sister ; so 
 lead on, and let us finish that affair.' By the pleasantry of the 
 answer, this was the same Grammont who commanded at 
 the siege of a place, the governor of which capitulated after 
 a short defence, and obtained an easy capitulation. The gov- 
 ernor then said to Monsieur Grammont, 'I'll tell you a secret — 
 that the reason of my capitulation was, because I was in want 
 of powder.' Monsieur replied, ' And secret for secret — the 
 reason of my granting you such an easy capitulation was, 
 because I was in want of ball.' " — Biog. Gallica, vol. i. p. 202. 
 
 Count Grammont and his lady left England in 1669. King 
 Charles in a letter to his sister, the Duchess of Orleans, dated 
 24th October, in that year, says : " I writt to you yesterday, by 
 the Compte de Grammont, but I believe this letter will come 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT 447 
 
 sooner to your handes ; for he goes by the way of Diep, with his 
 wife and family ; and now that I have named her, I cannot 
 chuse but againe desire you to be kinde to her ; for, besides the 
 merrit her family has on both sides, she is as good a creature as 
 ever lived. I beleeve she will pass for a handsome woman in 
 France, though she has not yett, since her lying-inn, recovered 
 that good shape she had before, and I am affraide never will." 
 
 — Dalrymple's Memoirs, vol. ii. p. 26. 
 
 " The Count de Grammont fell dangerously ill in the year 
 1696; of which the king (Louis XIV.) being informed, and 
 knowing, besides, that he was inclined to libertinism, he was 
 pleased to send the Marquis of Dangeau to see how he did, and 
 to advise him to think of God. Hereupon Count de Grammont, 
 turning toward his wife, who had ever been a very devout lady, 
 told her, ' Countess, if you don't look to it, Dangeau will juggle 
 you out of my conversion.' Madame de l'Enclos having after- 
 ward written to Mon. de St. Evremond that Count de Gram- 
 mont was recovered, and turned devout, — « I have learned,' 
 answered he to her, ' with a great deal of pleasure, that Count 
 de Grammont has recovered his former health, and acquired a 
 new devotion. Hitherto I have been contented with being 
 a plain honest man ; but I must do something more ; and I only 
 wait for your example to become a devotee. You live in a 
 country where people have wonderful advantages of saving their 
 souls ; there vice is almost as opposite to the mode as to virtue ; 
 sinning passes for ill-breeding, and shocks decency and good 
 manners, as much as religion. Formerly it was enough to be 
 wicked ; now one must be a scoundrel withal, to be damned in 
 France. They who have not regard enough for another life 
 are led to salvation by the consideration and duties of this.' " 
 
 — " But there is enough upon a subject in which the conversion 
 of the Count de Grammont has engaged me. I believe it to be 
 sincere and honest. It well becomes a man who is not young, to 
 forget he has been so." — Life of St. Evremond, by Des Mar- 
 zeaux, p. 136 ; and St. Evremond' s Works, vol. ii. 431. 
 
 It appears that a report had been spread that our hero was 
 dead. St. Evremond, in a letter to De l'Enclos, says, " They 
 talk here as if the Count de Grammont was dead, which touches 
 .lie with a very sensible grief." — St. Evremond 's Works, vol. iii. 
 
448 COUNT DE GRAMMONT 
 
 p. 39. And the same lady, in her answer, says, " Madame de 
 Coulanges has undertaken to make your compliments to the 
 Count de Grammont, by the Countess de Grammont. He is so 
 young, that I think him as light as when he hated sick people, 
 and loved them after they had recovered their health." — Ibid., 
 
 P- 59- 
 
 At length Count de Grammont, after a long life, died, the 
 10th January, 1707, at the age of eighty-six years. 
 
 See a letter from St. Evremond to Count de Grammont on 
 the death of his brother, Count de Toulongeon. — St. Evre- 
 mond's Works, vol. ii. p. 327. 
 
 THE END. 
 

 
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