ni > PS 3509 j.B5 P6 |1912 Copy 1 Copyright 1912 by A. B. EBIN "PORTIA IN POLITICS" A PLAY IN THREE ACTS By A. B. EBIN Author of "Roosevelt," Mariageables," "Fedia," "Arbitration,' "The Compromising Photo," Etc., Etc. CHARACTERS 1. The President of the United States. [Known as the Colonel after the first act.] 2. Secretary to the President. 3. Major [Military Secretary and Door-keeper at the White House]. 4. Senator from New York. 5. Marquis Maurice De Leville. 6. Democratic Reporter. 7. Republican Reporter. 8. Independent Democratic Reporter. 9. Progressive Republican Reporter. 10. Thomas, Butler at Portia's. 11. And PORTIA. TIME— The Present. First Act — President's Ofifice, Washington, D. C, 1903. Second Act — Portia's House, New York, June, 1910. Third Act — Portia's House, New York, November 8, 1910. Notice. — The parts of Major and Thomas can easily be doubled. The first act of this play can be produced very ef- fectively with seven people and as a complete work by itself. "PORTIA IN POLITICS" Act One The President's office at the White House, Washington, D. C. Facing audience C. are three windows, looking South, decorated with olive curtains. A leather carved divan un- derneath the windows and mahogany chairs at its sides. Through the windows are seen the whitehouse grounds, the top of the monument in the distance, over the back screen of a tennis court. Sliding doors R. & L. U. E. A flat top desk with drawers on both sides centre lower stage, chair with a rather low back near it. On the desk an Abraham Lincoln inkstand. an art nouveau lamp ; blotting pad, folded documents, and a few books at the other end of desk. On the right of desk, facing audience is a fire-place, mantel above it, a few logs of wood near it, poker, tongs, etc. In the corner there is an old rifle and next to it an imposing globe. On the mantel a tiny clock, a framed autograph of the sonnet "Opportunity" and a photo of a bear on its R. and Left. On the wall above mantel a framed oil painting of Abraham Lincoln. A leather covered rocking chair not far from the globe. Connecting with this room on the right is the cabinet room. Through the folding doors when open is seen the head of the great table around which the President's advisers as- semble. The President's fauteuil taller than the rest is more conspicuous than the other chairs. Electric light bulbs on the walls and a cluster of electric lights in the middle of the ceiling. The walls are covered with dark olive burlap and the wopd- work is ivory. [See photos on hand to assure correct historical accuracy.] "The room contains no emblems of office, and on the whole 'CI.D 31724 >i ACT ONE '^ <^i3 this room of about 30 feet long and wide is striking in its '^^v -^simplicity and lack of decorations. V-) "^ It is a scene of democratic setting, in keeping with the spirit of its occupant. As the curtain rises the sliding doors are closed, curtains drawn and room empty. The room is in semi-darkness. [Enter Major — Door L. U. E.] A tall man, over six feet, about fifty-five years old, in uni- form and eyeglasses, conscious of his importance; three medals on his breast, watchfulness in his eyes, and two big bunches of American Beauties in his hands ; as he enters the room placing them on the President's desk. Replacing the books on table to their respective positions and putting the finishing touches to the room generally. Drawing the curtains and opening the windows, letting in the light and sunshine. Places the flowers, one bouquet on the President's desk, the other in a glass of water on mantel ; moves towards exit Left, as the SECRETARY ENTERS The Secretary is a well groomed man of about thirty. He looks more of a gentleman than a business man, and more of both than the typical private Secretary. Like the Major and his Chief, he is another chartered member of the Eye- glass Fraternity. Carries several folded documents and open letters which he places C. of President's desk, then handing a printed list of appointments for the day to the Major. MAJOR [Glancing through the list — worried]. This prom- ises to be a busy forenoon, every minute accounted for by a definite appointment. . .Yet the crowd on the outside is very large. There are all sorts and conditions of men in the long line outside, from the ends of the earth and the islands of the sea. .. [Pause] What am I to do with them? SECRETARY. Send them away. .. [emphatically] .. .all of them. These raiders upon the President's treasury of favors. PORTIA IN POLITICS MAJOR [Protestingly . Many of them are men and women exalted with patriotic enthusiasm and sentiment. I love to watch the expression of their faces as they clasp his warm hand and look into his smiling eyes. SECRETARY. They will have to excuse us for once, and if you are called down, as you will be, well. .. [pause] blame it on me. . .1 will take what comes— soothing syrup or dynamite. MAJOR [Good-naturedly]. Blame it on the Secretary, as usual, as usual... Well, my job is not easy, but I don't envy you yours. .. [pause] at least, I know that I could not hold it for a single day. I will send them away and [gaining courage] shoulder the responsibility. . . [Aside] I dare say it will be dynamite. [Moves towards exit then returns]. There is one unlisted visitor to whom I take exception ... a Correspondent of the Associated Press of Europe, who is most emphatic in de- manding an audience. SECRETARY [With a politeness which is natural to him]. Any other day we shall be most happy, but to-day. . . to-day. . . [pause], tell her that I have her credentials, but to- day the President. . .the President... MAJOR [Plaintively]. I know, I know, I have tried it on and it doesn't work, I have tried everything. SECRETARY [Annoyed]. [Bus.] Very well [bus.], me for a grilling by the wrinkled old woman... say that the President is out, but. . .[Rising in his seat and placing himself in attitude, sardonically] if his Secretary wUl do, I shall be most happy. [Resuming fin- gering the papers on table as Major exits.] [The Major reappears at the door.] [Enter Portia.] [She is a beautiful woman of about twenty-eight, making demands on one's curiosity, one of the exceptions of her sex who combine rare beauty and intellect; the joy of life smile of youth, the keen eye of experience, possessing all the necessary qualifications of the trained Interviewer.] ACT ONE SECRETARY [Leisurely lifting his eyes from his paper, then promptly rising to receive her, her card in his L. hand, shaking hands, motioning her to a chair and seatmg himself in another nearest to desk. With a twinkle of the eye.] Your journalistic reputation has preceded you all the way from England, well, this is courageous, and it is indeed a pleasure, a very great pleasure. Anything I can do to assist you in your work to study the methods of our government, 1 shall be only too glad. PORTIA [Glancing about the room, evidently comparing ir her own mind this simplicity of surroundings with the pomp and glitter of European courts— bowing in acknowledgment.] You have made me very happy. . .1 know I shall need your help. [Reflectively]. You see in England with all the glitter which accompanies Court functions, the King is but a nonentity with hardly power enough to name his own household ser- vants Here, in soite of your democratic surroundings, we are told that your President controls 200,000 government em- ployees, receiving an annual salary of over two hundred mill- ion dollars. Your President is absolute Commander of the Army and Navy, his vote is equal to two-thirds of Congress and every government department is under his thumb, so to speak. SECRETARY [Reflectively]. The power of our Presi- dent is undoubtedly great, yet it is not without its checks and limitations... [Consulting the printed list of engagements be- fore him ] The President lives in a glass house, he can hardly blow his nose, nor go out to lunch without exciting impatient criticism. PORTIA [Pleasantly]. This of course is merely a figure of speech. Surely, in a democracy like yours, everybody is free and his movements are unchecked, particularly the President. SECRETARY [Earnestly]. My remarks are not figura- tive but absolute... [displaying his printed list of engage- ments ] To illustrate, today the President will lunch with a man by the name of Washington, a gentleman of refinement and national reputation, but whose skin is a shade darker than that of the average Southerner [pointing to letters before him] Already letters in abundance are accumulating from Southerners who raise a storm of protest and indignation. PORTIA [Laughing] . I can well understand it. Northerners, I am sure, quite the contrary, with admiring hands, will throw boquets at his feet for this very same action, and ail hats are up for the President. SECRETARY. True, colored people. .. [pause] .. .who do work, take a day off for general rejoicing and the excite- ment is general. 6 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA: I see, one of the most natural and unstudied things which the President has ever done, called forth a storm of national consequences. Well, this is indeed amusing!. .. [Pause] .. .Tell me, what other consequences can there be? In the afternoon the luncheon will be over, and I dare say, by three o'clock forgotten. SECRETARY [Earnestly.] Forgotten? Never! PORTIA [Playfully.] I suppose that for years to come all busi- ness men who make a distinction between races, will try to attribute their troubles and damage suits to this move of the President. SECRETARY [His right hand to his forehead.] It has cost me my sleep for some nights past. Fortunately, the President is of a stronger caliber. [Major presents himself at the door, showing in the Senator from New York.] [The Senator is a man of about 45 in frock coat, an original pin in his tie; smooth face and polished manner; a man of the world with a soft spot in his heart for American women.] SENATOR [To Secretary— playfully]. Isn't it a shame that I a Senator of the United States, should have to waste his time waiting for a mere President? SECRETARY. Take it easy. Senator, you know how little good your grumbling will do. [To Portia]. Ah. here is the very man whom above others you should meet. [Introducing] The Senator from New York— Miss Portia. [Turning to Senator.] Miss Portia has come all the way from England to study our social, economic, and political conditions m the interest of the European Press. SENATOR. [Watching her closely.] Indeed ! Well, if you want to profit from your visit, study our national prosperity; study the great deeds of the Republican Party, our wonderful revenue producers who open the road to better things SECRETARY [To Portia]. The Senator is the one man who above all other Republicans is responsible for the framing of our tariff. PORTIA [Inquiringly]. Is it true. Senator, that the tariff has be- come a system of favors, purporting to keep the rich manufacturers of the country m a good humor with the Republican party, is dictated by a group^ of domestic producers for their personal enrichment and granted in exchange for party support ? SENATOR. [Emphatically.] Certainly, certainly, certainly not The tariff is based on the difference between the cost of production here and abroad. We are as free from absolute free trade as we are free from the Chinese wall. Each has had its day and gone its way ACT ONE 7 The abolition of the protective tariff would plunge this country into the most widespread industrial depression we have yet seen. PORTIA [At her ease]. Possibly, possibly, but the interests im- properly favored by over-protection have made tariff abuses clearly recognizable and the day of a long-rolling tariff must end. The people will no longer stand for a tariff which is a bundle of preferences given to favored individuals and a thorough radical change in the methods of tariff-making will surely be insisted upon. SENATOR [Indignantly]. I guess not. . .Our entire business life has been built up upon tariff schedules. PORTIA. True, the business of your country has been built up upon tariff schedules and its foundations must not be too radically or too suddenly disturbed. But it is claimed by your opponents who insist upon a downward revision of the tariff, that schedules are being used to kill competition and raise prices arbitrarily; that it transformed your laws of taxation into a system of governmental patronage, the charges falling on those who feel the burden the most and that it is directly responsible for the development and growth of your monopolies and trusts. SENATOR. [Pointedly.] It is on account of the trusts that our nation as a nation has grown very rich. Great combinations effect great economies in administration. The public is losing nothing from the increased efficiency of simplified and perfected organization... PORTIA [sharply.] But has it gained anything from this vast wealth unevenly distributed, if indeed it is distributed at all? Is it easier for the working people to live under the existing conditions, when prices climb faster than earnings, and high wages, even when earned cannot buy as much as when the earnings were less ? . . . [Playfully.] Do you get me Steven?... If the people at large have benefited but little from said charges— If your tariff duties have not been a means of setting up an equitable system of protection, they have been the means and ways of fostering special privilege and noth- ing else. SENATOR. [Excitedly, but not entirely at his ease.] The tariff has brought prosperity to all, to the wage worker, the ordinary con- sumer, and the small producer. I am responsible for the framing of our tariff laws and proud of it ! ... I will not apologize, no apology is needed. It is the best revenue producer ever put on the statute books. PORTIA. [Earnestly.] But the high cost of living. . . SENATOR. [Emphatically, as he picks up a document from the table absent-mindedly.] The high cost of loving [correcting himself] of living is due to our prosperity — the real and only cause. Take for example, the high cost of living at Newport — one hundred thousand 8 PORTIA IN POLITICS dollars for a Fish ball. What else, then, prosperity is its real cause? SECRETARY. [Comes up to Senator and relieves him of the document as he is about to tear it.] [To Portia.] The Senator is right, there is no tariff on ice, and yet the price, as you know. . .[pause] .. .well, ask any housewife. [Re- placing document to its former position.] PORTIA. [Playfully.] I see, your ice is not all it is cracked up to be. . . [Lifting herself in her seat and producing a portfolio.] Pardon me [returning portfolio to Secretary] I was sitting on your state secrets. [The Secretary opens portfolio, placing some of its contents on the President's table— bows and exits.] It is not for me, a casual observer, to determine whether or not the tariff is responsible for the growth of the trusts, or the trusts for the overgrown tariff. I am here to get whatever authoritative informaton I can about your American civilization and the lack of it. . .What are the causes responsible for the high cost of living? SENATOR. [Airily.] You are a charming woman— put it down to prosperity, my dear, and you will not go wrong. The country never enjoyed such prosperity, and it is all due to the tariff. PORTIA. The practice of revising tariffs by the rule of the thumb, the perpetual ferment of nervous apprehension regarding coming changes accompanied by a violent convulsion of business are too much for the nervous system of the average person. [Regretfully.] Ah, Senator, the relations of industry to the tariff, the coddling of some mdividuals at the expense of their neighbors is a pretty complicated subject at its best. It is the one thing responsible for keeping more women out of politics, than all other things combined. Senator. [Playfully.] A good thing too. .. [smiling broadly]... What would you think of a woman constructing a tariff, totally ignor- ant about the things on which she is fixing the duties? [Laughs- Portia joining him.] [Admiringly.] I am glad you are such a sensible person. . .|pause] . . . At first, you know, I thought you were another of those eccentric suffragettes who have Votes for Women printed on their checks in the hope that when the checks are satisfactory they will find the sentiment also endorsed. They pester the life out of lis and come here demanding " Votes for Women." [Sneeringly.] Votes for Women! Behold, the uneasy woman laying siege to man's kingdom. PORTIA. [Playfully.] Why not "Votes for Women," Mr. Senator from New York? The American government is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people, and arn't your women one- half of the people? [Pointedlv.] The Declaration of Independence makes no distinction of sex. Who gave you men tlie ri -ht to assume ACT ONE 9 to be all the people? Don't your women pay taxes just the same as the men? Your forefathers revolted from England on account of taxation without representation, why expect your women to be more lenient towards you, than you were yourselves under similar condi- tions? Under your laws of enfranchisement suffrage has been ex- tended to the ignorant negroes of the South, are they beter than your women? SENATOR. [Gallantly.] It is our sacred duty to protect women from the temptations of politics, the burden of active participation in the government and the rest of it. [Looking lovingly a her.] . . .The name of woman is sacred to me. . .1 would willingly give women the right to vote as a matter of politeness, but believe me women wiU do well to keep out of the political limelight, they think they want what they do not want. . .They know much about dress and hats, the rela- tive values of ice cream, bon-bons and water ices — they master to perfection the ethics of bridge, euchre and whist, and no mere man can compete with them at a social tea, but they understand little or nothing of the large questions and problems of the day. Their civic education has been terribly neglected and for this reason womens place is the home. PORTIA. [Playfully.] Yes, the home, but for the woman forced to earn her own living, the home has gone out of the house. For her the right to vote means, not merely responsibility, but opportunity. SENATOR. [Softly.] Women rule the world by sweetness, while politics, my dear, is modified warfare. There is bitterness, struggle and strife all the time — everything in fact which is adverse to the true character of women. Women in strife become hard, harsh, un- lovable, repulsive, ugly. PORTIA. True, but is there more strife in politics than in the strife and struggle for daily bread to which modern men have forced women?... Is there more bitterness in politics than in working at a dollar a day in a match factory ?.. .The household may be the true throne for the comfortably married woman, but what about the mil- lions of industrial women workers, for whom, as I said, the home has gone out of the house. SENATOR. [Sympathetically.] I will not deny that under modern conditions life for some women is very hard indeed. But my dear, woman's suffrage is bad form, it betokens a great want of culture and refinement. It is putting the ballot against the home in the majority of cases, political activity against the degeneration of her finer in- fluences. Politics will roughen women ; it will brush the bloom off the flovvcrs. 10 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. The pitch in politics, to which you allude, makes it all the more necessary for us women to enter the field, not merely as a question of right, but infinitely more so, as a matter of duty. Who but women should make and regulate the laws for the millions of women employed in your factories and sweatshops? Who but women should be entrusted with regulating the liquor interests of the coun- try? Who but women could be relied upon so admirably and so well to do away with gambling and the White Slave traffic, and to increase educational appropriations? [Touching him on the shoulder.] I appeal to your sense of manhood, your love of fair play. SENATOR. [Electrified by the touch, showing a change of expres- sion.] You are charming [taking her hand] and your hand, your touch would electrify even the Gods... No wonder the British prime minister looks under the bed every night to see if there is a suffra- gette. Your powers, the powers of your sex are wonderful, and, to be candid. . . [Bus.] I will not deny that the reason why we are against Woman's Suffrage is that we are afraid of you !. . .Afraid that you will be a little too active in some particular branches of our Legislature. . . PORTIA. True, woman intends to be active, we want to help you clean the augean stables, for we know what a failure man's sole con- trol of government has been. We see that your crops have failed and want to help you begin over again, plow deeper, sow better, let in more sunshine, and assure a better harvest. We believe that a nobler and more vigorous type of woman Avill be developed after her com- plete political equality has been recognized, but above all, it will benefit you men. SENATOR. [Looking lovingly at her.] You are a very charming woman, and your eyes are simply ripping. . .1 will confide in you. . . You have undoubtedly read, that as goes New York, so goes the nation, and in a measure it is true, but it is equally true that New York goes as I go. Our millions of voters are nothing more nor less than just so many rubber stamps to carry out my wishes, for it is I and not the people at large who do the nominating. [Waving his hand.] Now, my dear, I will fool the average good natured American year in and year out and enjoy the game, but there is something cowardly in getting out of bed early in the morning your wife, sister, and mother, and other men's sisters and mothers on what might rightly be called a fool's errand. . .No, I draw the line at fool- ing women . . . PORTIA. [Artfully.] It is a pleasure, a very great pleasure to talk to a man who is at once both very powerful and at the same time most considerate. You need not have any scruples about getting us women out of bed early in the morning, for in this, you will never ACT ONE 11 succeed. No other inducement can ever succeed where double trading stamps offered by the department stores have miserably failed. As to the rest. .. [pause] .. ., we will win the nominating power away from you as we keep on fighting. The American ballot will be of the worth while kind by the time the Eastern women get the right to use it. SENATOR. [Gallantly.] Let me assure you that although all powerful in my party, and no man will willingly yield power, I am exceptionally deferential to women. I will support gladly anything which is deemed to be of real benefit to woman, but [pause] . . .there are the Democratic leaders, they are harder, with them you will never succeed. PORTIA. [Artfully placing her hand on his shoulder.] Since you are convinced that the Democrats will vote against it, why not vote for it and induce your other Republican friends of the Senate to act likewise? [The Senator eyeing her curiously.] [Portia nudging him as she proceeds.] You will gain a great point, you will show the world the chivalry and liberality of the Republican Party, and in the end, it will cost you nothing. SENATOR. [Admiringly.] This is true statesmanship, and the kind of liberality I never allow myself to miss. . . [pause] . . .1 will do it! [Walking about, then facing her, his face radiant, waiving his hat.] Capital! What a lark it will be on the leaders of the Demo- cratic party ! PORTIA. [Humoring him.] Yes, wouldn't it? [Both laughing.] SENATOR. [Sitting down — smiling broadly.] And now that we have the same interest at heart, will you give me a few pointers as to the most effective way for framing the bill? [Taking out paper and pencil and watching her expression as he is about to write. Laughing and waving the pencil in the air.] I am just longing to see the faces of the Democratic leaders when, after a heated discussion and op- position they get on to our little game. PORTIA. [Reflectively, talking as she proceeds.] "Admitting that they who share in the labor and duties are also entitled to share in the privileges of men, we, the Senators of the United States in body assembled, separately and jointly resolve: [The Senator's pencil suspended in his hand, moment of repose.] "That suffrage should be given to women as their permanent and ir- revocable possession." [Passing her hand over her head.] I believe this will do. . . [play- fully] . . .comrade of all who labor, brother of all who serve. . . SENATOR [Replacing note-book and pencil]. My heart is in the right place... If I were only a single man, I would propose to you, 12 PORTIA IN POLITICS right here and now; I admire you. [Hesitatingly.] But I am afraid of you. . .Supposing you warn the Democratic leaders in advance that we Republicans intend to make political capital of this resolution, and induce them to join in the vote [pause] . . .then it will go through. . . [unnerved] . . .You are a very clever woman, but I must think it over. PORTIA [Placing her hand on his shoulder and advancing towards centre of stage, looking straight at him]. And wouldn't you be proud of your part in this affair when the bill does go through?. . .We rise to higher things through mistakes and admitting that you were wrong is but saying, in other words, that you are wiser to-day than you were yesterday. You will find that "suffrage will tend toward an increas- ing' number of ideal homes, an increase in the sense of co-partner- ship between the man and woman, and make each think more of the rights of the other than of his or her own rights. Just as a man can do better work for others if he is a free man, so a woman can do better work for others if she is a free woman." Woman will retain all her womanly charms, and will take a broader view of life and its relations. She will be a better citizen, because a more thoughtful, intelligent individual, when she is eventually transformed from a subject into full-fiedged citizenship. Take my advice, dear Senator, don't wait until suffrage has become fashionable and the victory is won without you. Join us while we still need you, and remember that on the great clock of time there is but one word — nozv. SENATOR [Reflectively] . . .One can hardly call you a member of the fair sex, you take me all by storm. [Turning at the door, facing her.] I will do it. I am all yours !. . . [Exits.] [Enter Secretary, bringing with him additional documents, letters and open telegrams, which he places on the President's desk.] SECRETARY. [Gallantly.] Pardon my seeming negligence, but I was unavoidably detained by an overwhelmingly large crowd of raiders upon the President's treasury of favors. . .[Pause] .. .Con- scious as I am of my duties and jealous of the nation's time, the de- sire to be near you, to talk to you was irresistible. [Reassuring him- self that they are alone, he unwraps a bouquet of violets, handing it to her, gallantly, Partia taking it.] PORTIA. [Flattered.] W^ell, well! I declare!. .. [Pause] .. .And this from the man who refused to honor my credentials! [Pause] Tell me, are all your government officials as chivalrous ? SECRETARY. [Gallantly.] They would be in your presence. [Enter four reporters, all of them smooth-faced men, but of differ- ent temperaments and sizes The Republican reporter is very tall ; the Democratic, very fat ; Independent Democratic, very lean ; and the Progressive, very small.] ACT ONE 13 REPUBLICAN. [Pointing to companion.] Our fat friend wants a statement explaining the President's position on the Panama con- troversy. PROGRESSIVE & IND. DEMOCRATIC. [Together.] So do we. SECRETARY. [Confidingly.] I have heard nothing, and know no more than yourselves. REPUBLICAN. [Inquiringly.] Who— in particular,— whose ef- forts — have finally succeeded in combatting the sentiment of Con- gress in favor of the Nicaraguan Canal route as against the Panama route, — that is what I want to know. DEMOCRAT. Whose masterful mind, sharpened on the grind- stone of corporate cunning, connived and carried it out?... Who is responsible for the forming of an important minority, which refused to join the other members of the Committee, and in this way pre-* vented the Nicaraguan bill passing? PROGRESSIVE. Who inspired the bill advocating the Panama project, as introduced by Senator Spooner in the Senate? INDEPENDENT DEM. [Placing himself in attitude.] Who are the people whose constant care and varied eflforts have evidently con- tributed in no small degree to this result? Who are the people placed in such intimate relations with the House of Congress ? SECRETARY. [Playfully.] You will learn nothing from me. [Pause.] You know more than I do. . .who has influence over public men in political life. . . [Introducing Portia.] This is Portia, a newspaper correspondent who has come all the way from England to study our government. [The reporters bow respectfully.] [To Portia.] These four gentlemen represent the army of strong columns and good leaders, that overwhelming power called the Ameri- can Press. REPORTERS. [Each in turn coming forward and offering her his card.] So you are the lady all Washington talks about! [PORTIA takes the cards and makes for her bag, where she evi- dently intends to place them, the bag drops to the floor. Instantly the four reporters and Secretary make for the floor to pick it up. . . .[PICTURE] PROGRESSIVE. [Returning the bag.] Welcome, welcome, com- rade, to our land, of conspicuous waste and made dollars, the paradise of ragtime kings and the serious student's purgatory; the land where through inadequate laws a few men have secured the results of the toil of all the people. 14 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. [Her arm on Progressive's shoulder, sympathetically.] Yours is the happiest nation on earth, you wouldn't say it, friend, if you were more familiar with conditions in Europe, its social dis- tinctions and classes. IND. DEMOCRAT. [Quickly.] Quite true, there the classes are many, while here in America there are only two [pause], those who succeeded and those who have failed. PORTIA. [Pointedly.] To the American, failure is a mere in- centive to success. [Playfully.] We Europeans have a great admira- tion for everything American, particularly for the brightness and vi- vacity of your women. No country owes more to its women than America in all that is best in social life and institutions. PROGRESSIVE. Quite true — Our American self-made men are fond of boasting, while our self-made women are very modest about it. PORTIA. [Playfully.] Don't you speak against the American women. The whole world agrees that they are America's best pro- duct. SECRETARY. [Gallantly.] On behalf of the American women I thank you. The American is a pretty good fellow, but his wife is even better. PORTIA. [To Secretary.] The average literary taste and influence of American women is higher than that of Europeans. The provi- sion for women's education is more ample and better than that made in European countries. PROGRESSIVE. In no country in the world are women so much made of. The world's at their feet. We all bend our comforts to the young girl's wishes. PORTIA. [To Progressive, artfully.] I admit there are rumors abroad that the statute of Liberty is wearing blue spectacles now, her torch turned into a candle, and that she goes to bed punctually at nine in the evening with her hair in curl papers. PROGRESSIVE. [POINTEDLY.] You wouldn't think so if you followed the reports of the daily newspapers on our police graft and gam^bling scandals [playfully] believe me. New York is some town. PORTIA. [Admiringly.] Ah, yours is a wonderful country! As to your railways, they simply take my breath away. PROGRESSIVE. [As he exits, accompanied by companion, bowing gallantly.] They do more, they take away our money. DEMOCRAT. [From hall.] Her looks; her smile, I will never forget. [Major at the door showing in the Marquis Maurice De Leville.] ACT ONE 15 [Maurice is a handsome Frenchman of about thirty-five, with all the characteristics typical to stage characters of his nationality, is well dressed and carries himself with dignity — pronounces th as d andz.] [The Secretary rises to meet him. Portia hides the features of her face in an open book before her.] SCERETARY. [Shaking hands.] Ah, Marquis, welcome, trice welcome! The President is anxious for your report, and, like my- self, he will be delighted to see you. [Maurice bows in acknowledgment.] [Introducing Portia.] This is Portia, a visitor from England, the most accomplished newspaper woman of England, visiting the United States in the interest of the Associated Press of Europe, who might also be interested in your findings on the Isthmus. [Startled by the mere mention of Portias' name, Maurice walks backwards and for- ward, both sides of her, trying to see the face — [Picture.] [Reluctantly uncovering her face.] Portia, what happiness! [Makes a movement toward her.] PORTIA. [To Maurice, excitedly, waving him aside.] We have never met!... [To Secretary.] Take him away, Mr. Secretary, and introduce me to a practical man. ..[Gesticulating.] God, how I wish we had never met! The very sight of him fills me with indigna- tion!... Only think of Providence creating such a splendid human animal without a practical mental balance ! . . . SECRETARY. [Quickly.] We hold diametrically opposite views at the White House about the Marquis. .. [Pause] .. .and you may trust to the beter judgment of the President. [Maurice bows in ac- knowledgment.] PORTIA [Sardonically.] Indeed?. . .Well it does not speak much in the President's favor. . . [Pause], after all, perhaps, he knows him better. . .1 confess I knew him so little that I was engaged to marry him. MAURICE. Oui, oui! [we, we.] SECRETARY. [Playfully, changing his facial expression.] Oh, old friends, I see. [To Maurice, nudging him.] A lover's quarrel ! MAURICE. [Walks up behind Portia's seat, mimicking to the Secretary to leave the room — bus.] True, I don't deserve her, but now dat we have met again, I shall never let her go. SECRETARY. Right Marquis!. .. [Pause] .. .Can you spare me for a few minutes? [Exits]. PORTIA. [Finding that they are alone.] And so you are as deter- mined as ever?. . .[Pause] .. .in spite of all my refusals. .. [Soften- ing.] Have I changed much, Maurice? 16 PORTIA IN POLITICS MAURICE. [Fondly.] Yes, and for de beter. You are beauti- ful!. . .Oh, Portia, Portia! I am just crazy about you! Ever since you drew me over, you were so much in my doughts dat I was almost out of dem...Oh, why, did you break it off? Why didn't you answer my last leters, why, why? PORTIA. [Distantly.] Panama, Panama is the reason, the worth- less Panama Canal Co. shares which father bought at your solicita- tion and advise have undermined his health and he died of a broken heart ... Mother committed suicide shortly afterwards... MAURICE. [Hands to his forehead, frantically!] Mon dieu, Morr dieu ! . . . PORTIA. [Avoiding his look.] Since then my heart was broken and life a blank. It was not easy for me, a queen and social leader of society to be reduced to the condition of an outsider, attending third- rate balls and receptions on behalf of a Weekly Home Journal, sitting up late nights describing the curves and folds in the dresses of eleven stone dames ... All the same I was only too glad to do it wRen the chance came with a salary of six pounds per. [Facing him.] Now, do you still wonder why I didn't want to see you, yon the cause of it all!... MAURICE. [Gesticulating.] Mon dieu, if I had only known, how glad I would be to help you. PORTIA. [Indignantly.] Do you suppose for one moment that I would, that I . . . MAURICE. Don't tell me I have lost when I've won. [Pleadingly.] Is de life happiness of us both to be blotted out on account of my one mistake? [Touching her on the shoulder.] "Be reasonable. . .We have known each other since childhood, and I loved you from de moment I first looked into your eyes. [Earnestly.] I love you; you know I love you. I would sooner have removed my right hand, cut out my tongue, opened- up my art- eries and let de blood of my heart go, den intentionally ill-advise de fader of my Portia. [His hands on his heart.] Woman, don't you know dat you are and always have been everyding, moder, sister, friend, my life, my sunshine, my daylight, de sum of all loving care. [Coming up closer to her.] I need you as one needs food and air, morning, noon and night, my only dought is Portia. De flowers bloom, Portia, and de birds are singing, Portia — I love you wid a love dat passes all understanding. All dat I can do to atone for de past will be done willingly, gladly. Forgive, forgive me de misery I caused you!. . .To me you are the all in all which makes life worth living — my life is yours. I cannot, will not part from you. ACT ONE ' 17 You say I have ill-advised your fader— True, but have I done it in- tentionally, and have I spared myself? [Gesticulating.] Every dollar I have in de world is invested in de Panama Canal Company!. . . PORTIA. [Moved.] This hardly makes our position more hopeful. [Excitedly.] Oh, Maurice, how could you be so stupid as to throw away your fortune and the fortunes of those nearest and dearest to you on such a pest-hole?. .. [Gesticulating.] Panama !... The Great International Ditch which has ruined so many lives in the loss of so many fortunes. Panama, that festering pest-hole of the world, which has its grave yards on every European stock exchange. Panama, a project which has grown so large that it is good for nothing, an undertaking which was hopeless— senseless from its inception, a chimera, a mirage ! . . . MAURICE. [In a quieter tone.] I am only human, we are all liable to error. I admit, as it stands de result is a bitter mortification to stockholders and investors everywhere. But, dear, sweet, charming, brilliant woman dat you are, you are wrong suggesting dat de project is in itself a delusion. .. [Excitedly, his blood up]... I tell you der never was a commercial project of such far reaching importance and significance, so lofty and so practical. [Walking about too and fro.] It will make New York nearer to China dan Liverpool and bring Japan two dousand miles nearer, and it will unite all de American people not merely in name, but in fact. Drough de Panama Canal. .. [Inter- rupted] . . . PORTIA. [Sympathetically, her hand on his shoulder.] Why specu- late further? Columbia is the government in possession of the Isthmus, and they refuse to carry out the treaty on which their representatives agreed, nor will they permit the work to proceed; this makes your machinery and our stock practically worthless. MAURICE. It is not de people of de Isthmus, but de group of bandits who have usurped de power from de people who are against us and by whom we are held up. I am just returning from de place where I have been digging for public sentiment and found aplenty. Far from being against us or being indifferent, de people are alive to de fact dat deir interest is being flagrantly disregarded. I tell you dat on the Isthmus of Panama revolution is in de air. PORTIA. I know that the organizing of South American revolu- tions has become a regular industry and manufacturing public opinion has been reduced to a science, but. . . [Impatiently] . .what of it?. . . One discordant note and the orchestra is mere noise... One move from the American government and all your fuses are stamped out. . . MAURICE. [Excitedly.] True, only too true, but dis must be prevented. [Excitedly.] We must beat it. 18 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. There is but one ray of hope and that is to convince the United States government that if it permits Columbia to prevent the building of the Panama Canal it will be derelic to its own in- terests and duty. MAURICE. If only Uncle Sam can be persuaded to refrain from sending his Navy against us, victory is ours ... Everything is ready for the great revolution ; de date is fixed, and in my pocket [display- ing document] I have de Declaration of de Independence of Panama carefully written out and ready for de proper signatures. PORTIA. [Pressing Maurice's hand and giving him a warm kiss on the lips, which is all the more appreciated because it comes unex- pectedly, bus.] [Major and Secretary show themselves at the door.] [Enter president.] [The Major withdraws, but the Secretary enters bowing before the President.] [The President is a man about forty-five, full of energy of mind and phenominal physical power in the pink of condition. Dressed in a frock coat, light waistcoat and striped trousers, low collar, a four- in- had tie with a pin of questionable value. He wears pince nez. A statesmen, man of Letters and of action, concentration, earnestness and quick decision. Nature has cast him in an uncommon mold. He is well built, well groomed, well preserved, and very active — a human machine of tremendous capacity, geared to the habits of the utmost efficiency. He has clear, blue eyes which look at you with the steady light of a fixed star, and nature has filled them with a wide angle lens, kindly expression of face which lights up when he smiles, ruddy neck and cheeks, closely clipped hair and moustache and hair of an unde- terminate color. On the smallest finger of the left hand there is a conspicuous ring with a seal on it. There is nothing lacking in his manner that would detract from the dignity of his reputation. PRESIDENT. [Joining Maurice, placing his hand on his shoul- der.] A lady is waiting, but, by George, Marquis, you are the man I have got to see. I am tremendously interested in the advance in^ formation which you submitted to the Department, and want to know more. I have an infinite passion for facts. [Lays right hand on his left shoulder.] The papers are full with accounts about the disturb- ance on the Isthmus, but this does not necessarily prove it false ! . . . Let me once lay hands on the details, master the facts and I will do anything that can be done legitimately. MAURICE. [Excitedly, bowing low.] Merci, Merci! PRESIDENT. [Eyeing Portia.] The lady there is getting impatient, do excuse me for a few minutes. ACT ONE 19 [Walks up to Portia offering hand in a friendly, disarming, neigh- borly way.] My dear young lady, I have your credentials, but there is no need for them. I knew your late father, our former Ambassador; knew him well — that is why instructions have been given to have your very reasonable request complied with ! . . . Well, well, well, I am glad to see you ! . , . I am glad to see my administration graced by the presence of such a clever, serious woman. . . [pause] . . .And so you have come all the way from Europe to see with what lack of wisdom the Sates of the world are governed. [Playfully, motioning her to a chair. Portia insisting on his sitting down first; seeing that she is determined, he sits down.] [Maurice walks into the cabinet room during the following inter- view.] PORTIA. [Sitting down, admiringly.] The greatest ambition of my life is now realized. It is worth my whole trip to America to have had the privilege of these few minutes. .. [Pause] .. .Wasn't it ^bold of me to come and interview the greatest of living American States- men, whose name and fame belong not to him but to the entire world ? PRESIDENT. [Playfully.] I commend it in the highest degree; now that you are here, find the worst thing in America and tell us about it so that we may correct it. PORTIA. I am visiting America rather to find the best things, that I may take them back to Europe. Like you, the Europeans are ever eager to learn. PRESIDENT. [Inquiringly, displaying his teeth.] Have jou seen much of our great country? We have such tremendous works of nature, surpassing even Switzerland and the Nile. PORTIA. [Playfully, more at ease.] I saw two — Niagara Falls — and the other is now before me. .. [pause] ... [lowering her eyes]. Rumor for once has not exaggerated. PRESIDENT. [Playing with his watch chain.] I see you know how to turn a compliment, but we must be considerate of the people's time. I have a very pressing engagement with the gentleman who is waiting. . .Now, what is there in connection with our government affairs that you particularly wish to know? PORTIA. [Excitedly.] I realize that I am robbing the greatest ruler of the greatest nation on earth of much of his valuable time, but I am just dying to know some of the things that are accomplished by a Democratic Congress. PRESIDENT. [Hands to his eyeglasses.] With a Republican President in the White House, the accomplishments of a Democraitc 20 PORTIA IN POLITICS Congress generally consists. . .of. . .preventing the President from do- ing anything ! . . . [Picking out an especially pretty American Beauty rose 'from the boquets on his table, and offering it to her.] PORTIA. [Taking rose.] Ah, my favorite flower! [Rising.] Must I go ? The Marquis is my intended, and . . . and ... I am so full of anticipation. PRESIDENT. [Beckoning to Marquis, who comes forward.] This admirable young lady tells me that you are engaged and that she is with us at heart. MAURICE. [Bows.] Oui, Oui, Mr. President. PRESIDENT. Well then, to business; have you prepared your written report ? . '* o [Maurice takes out a folded document, handing it to the President.] PRESIDENT. [Taking document.] I thank you for your kind consideration of men and the nations time. [Opens document and reads, moment of silence.] The attitude of the Columbian govern- ment shows clearly the capacity of the human mind to resist intelli- gence. It was at their initiative that the negotiations were pressed upon our government until they were finally acceped.. .. [Pause] .. j Even the terms were made public. We were to pay ten million dol- lars cash and one hundred thousand dollars a year rental for a strip of land not over 30 miles, but now there is a hold-up. [His face energized from the base of the neck to the roots of the hair.] Every effort has been made by the government of the United States to per- suade Columbia to follow a cause which is essential, not only to our interest and to the interest of the world, but to the interest of Colum- bia itself, but all efforts have failed. PORTIA. [Excitedly.] Columbia is governed by successive bands of adventurers. The fifty-three revolutions which have taken place there during the past fifty-seven years prove it. PRESIDENT. [Helping himself to ice-water.] True, for many years past, the maintenance of order on the Isthmus was the exception and war the rule. Only the active influence of the United States has enabled Columbia to preserve her sovereignty, and now, when for the first time, they are given the opportunity to reciprocate, they show their base ingratitude. PORTIA. [Pleadingly.] Mr. President, knowing the kind of men the Columbian government consists of, and your sympathy with the people of Panama in their aspiration for independence, why not sup- port them... [at a severe look from the President] ... why not join hands with the revolutionists The United States is in itself a country, a great nation founded by a revolution ! ACT ONE 21 PRESIDENT. [Proudly, his arms gesticulating, his whole being radiating force.] For over fifty years the United States has patiently and in good faith carried out its obligations under the treaty of 1846 [clinching his fist]. I am the President of the United States and a loyal citizen of the Republic. We cannot, we will not give any official aid to a revolutionary enterprise. [Busies himself with replacing his pince nez which have dropped down, and in doing so regains much of his former composure.] PORTIA. [Plaintively.] The question at issue, Mr. President, is not that of inciting revolution, but of permitting it. Great ventures should not stop at small morals. You admit that the control of Colum- bia over the Isthmus of Panama could not be maintained without the armed intervention and assistance of the United States, and you can- not deny that as it stands the interests of the United States and the people of Panama are identical. Now Mr. President, since no blood- shed could occur on account of the revolution, unless you permit Columbian troops to land, why abandon a people who are your friends, and permit a people who are your foe to perpetuate their despotism? Come, Mr. President, doesn't the end justify the means, to stand by your friends? PRESIDENT. [Deeply touched, talks with his whole being, each organ taking its mobile part.] I am with you heart and soul, if only I could find a basis upon which to act. But. .. [picking up copy of treaty with Columbia and punching it], we are bound hand and foot by the treaty. [Reading] : " The protection of free, neutral transit acioss the Isthmus and the guarantee of the sovereignty of land against alien aggression." [Getting up and walking about, with his hands in the air.] Oh, it is hopeless, absolutely hopeless ! PORTIA. [Aggressively.] Mr. President, you admit that the con- dition of affairs has become intolerable. You know that this Canal cannot be built by private enterprise or by any other nation than the United States. You are known as the man of action, the man who puts action against lethargy, human justice against technical stolidity, the equal opportunity of every man against special interests, and yet you can do nothing— you, who are worshipped politically ! Surely a territory fraught with such peculiar capacities as the Isthmus in ques- tion carries with it obligations to mankind. A project of such incalculable possibilities for the good of^ the world should not be held up to gratify the whim of foreign politicians. What is the use of holding a big public office, if one isn't taking advantage of the opportunities this office offers to do some big thing that ought to be done and is worth doing? Aren't the recent develop- 23 PORTIA IN POLITICS merits sufficient to change the heart of the American government in this matter? PRESIDENT. [Admiringly.] You are a brilliant woman, the most brilliant woman I know, but you seem to forget that I am not the entire government of the country, much as I sometimes wish I had that power. [Extending his hand with second finger in a pointing position.] There is Congress and Uncle Joe. [Pause.] Let me see, did I mention Congress first? [Displaying a document which he takes out from his drawer.]. Here is a rough draft of a message, my recommendation to Congress that we should proceed with the work on the Canal, in spite of Columbia's opposition, but, I have my ways of finding out in advance, the feeling of Congress, which way the pendulum is striking, and... it has remained in my drawer. . .There are a thousand reasons why the Canal should be built, but not one which would give us a stand- ing in international law ! , . . [Lifting both hands in the air as an expression of excitement.] I give it up [desperately], the situation is hopeless, hopeless! MAURICE. [Moved to the verge of tears.] Den we are bankrupt, bankrupt. . .Noding left for me to do but engage as a waiter. La, la, la, la, la! PORTIA. [Picking up copy of treaty from President's table, pon- dering over it, then aloud] : "And the guarantee of the sovereignty of land against alien aggression "... [Pause.] . . ."Against alien aggres- sion ", . .yes, but Mr. President, the treaty says nothing about protect- ing Columbia against local and domestic revolutions!. . .Now that the Isthmus is seething with revolutionary spirit, why not change your policy and give the people of Panama a chance to act in a way which will make your task easier? MAURICE. [Hesitatingly.] Oui, oui! PRESIDENT. [Regaining his spirits.] The Canal shall not be dropped on account of the difficulties confronting us. The Canal shall be a lasting monument to mankind, and you have shown me the way to do it. [Rings bell for Major who enters.] [To Major.] Tell the Press Committee to come in and send the Secretary this way. [The Major bows himself out.] [Enter Secretary followed by the above four correspondents who behave as reporters should in the presence of the first Executive of the nation.] PRESIDENT. [To Portia, introducing the reporters in his turn] : These gentlemen represent the combined influence of our American Press. [Admiringly.] The tongue of our great country. " No other ACT ONE 23 body of our community wield as extensive an influence as those who write for the daily and periodical press." They are our pathfinders, pointing to the rocks one should flee, and the land where real promise lies. In our country nothing is so mighty as the pen. PORTIA. [Playfully.] Each and every country gets the press it deserves and America undoubtedly has the best. REPORTERS. [Bowing in acknowledgment to Portia.] IND. DEMOCRAT. [Comes forward.] The country is in a state of unparalleled expectancy. PROGRESSIVE. [Admiringly.] And as usual, all eyes are turned upon the President. DEMOCRATIC. [Excitedly.] The treatment Uncle Sam is re- ceiving from Columbia is simply outrageous. What is the world com- ing to ? . . . REPUBLICAN. [Pointedly.] It hurts us as a party to allow the United States to be held up in this way by the Columbian grafters. PRESIDENT. [Facing the Reporters.] I have listened with inter- est to your observations. All insinuations of complicity by the Ameri- can government in the revolutionary movement on Panama are desti- tute of foundation and propriety, but the American people will no longer uphold the hands of their enemies against their personal inter- ests ... My mind is made up, and it is in full accord with the prevail- ing public sentiment of the moment. [Dictating.] " To the Com- mander in Charge of the Isthmus : Maintain free and uninterrupted transit. If interruption is threatened by armed force, occupy line of raihoad; prevent landing of any armed force with hostile intent." [Exit Secretary.] [Reporters waving their hats in excitement.] DEMOCRATIC. The President has great powers and he is using them. REPUBLICAN. [Tapping Progressive on the shoulder.] What a stroke of genius! [Hand to his forehead.] IND. DEMOCRAT. [To Democratic] What masterful states- manship ! . . . PROGRESSIVE. [To Republican.] Only to think that the pro- moters of the French Company were honest all the time, and they did not know it. PORTIA. [Admiringly, to Reporters.] Trust to the integrity of the worthy President to shoulder the responsibility and give the Ameri- can people the benefit of the doubt, to use for the good of the people the great powers of his great office. [Enter Secretary with telegram; the President reads it carefully, signs it and is about to replace the pen, as Portia, all excitement, comes forward. 2i PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. [With outstretched arms, reverently.] Mr. President, Mr. President, my Hfelong reverence and devotion for this pen, the pen which, on this occasion, has proved to be mightier than the sword, not merely in word but in deed. PRESIDENT. [Handing her the pen, gallantly.] I willingly offer you for nothing what is worth as much. [PICTURE.] PORTIA. [Contemplating the pen, which is extended in her right hand.] All the gold in the world couldn't re-purchase this pen! [Placing herself in attitude.] I see in this act the first practical move towards an achievement of which the whole world will be proud, a lasting monument to the progress of nations. [Holding the pen with both hands.] No where on earth has ever been witnessed a scene of such Democratic surroundings and enactment, significant of such far- reaching results. It is almost beyond comprehension, that this simple note to the Navy prevents bloodshed, destruction of property, and gives the world a new Republic. [Contemplating the pen.] PRESIDENT. [Playfully.] Ever since Admiral Dewey delivered America's naval souvenirs to Spain, we have had no further demand from other nations for additional testimonials. MAURICE. [Jubilant.] Oui, oui, Mr. President! PRESIDENT. [His hand on Portia's shoulder.] You have shown me the way to the new Republic ; you are an empire builder, and I am proud of you, my Portia. MAURICE. [Worked up to the highest pitch of excitement, grasp- ing the President's hand.] I kiss de President's hand! [Walking up to Portia and kissing the pen.] I kiss de mighty pen. [Kissing Portia.] I kiss my Portia! [Then attempting to kiss the Reporters who resent the attempt.] I kiss de whole world ! Long live he Presi- dent! Ra! Ra! Ra!... [The Reporters join in the excitement, waving their hats, etc.] AS THE CURTAIN FALLS. ACT TWO 23 "PORTIA IN POLITICS" Act Two New York City, June 18th, 1910 A large living room in Portia's house, attractively furnished and decor- ated ; two windows C, facing the street, curtains, etc. A perspec- tive view of the buildings opposite through the windows. Doors R, and L, U, E, draped with portieres; round table and chairs lower stage. This scene lends itself to much original treatment. During this entire act, as the action advances, the noise of a holiday crowd in the street, bells, rattles and horns ,music bands and bugles, laughter, shouting and singing are heard from time to time. Discovered Thomas standing near the table, C, which is covered with breakfast things — rolls and fruit, s'hining silverware and flowers, everything in good taste. [Thomas puttinir finishing touches to the breakfast table, draws the portieres, etc.] ^fHOMAS. Breakfast is ready — [Enter Maurice, in a velvet coat.] THOMAS [Bowing]. Good morning, sir ! MAURICE [Airily, placing himself in attitude]. Good morning, Thomas. . .1 see you are ripe and ready. [Excitedly,— glancing about the room and the table.] But, where are de flowers, de flowers— La! La ! La ! La ! La ! — never since our marriage has my Portia missed dem for a single day. [Gesticulating, walking about excitedly to and fro.] How careless you have grown since we arrived in New York. [Impatiently.] La! La! La! La! La! THOMAS [Reassuring, as he rearranges the things on table]. They will come. The florist promises to be punctual in the future, but to-day. to-day he would make no guarantee as to the exact time of delivery. [Enter Portia, dressed neatly in a morning gown.] THOMAS [Bowing low]. Good morning, m'me— [Maurice greet- ing her affectionately, but unnoticed by her he displays in the air his empty hands, looking daggers at Thomas.] [Bus.] PORTIA [Taking .her seat at the table, C, facing audience] Punctual, as usual, Thomas. [Thomas bows and exits.] [Maurice seats himself on the right of Portia, his right hand on her wrist.] PORTIA [Making an effort to free her arm]. If you will only free my hand, my dear, I will pour out another cup of coffee for you. MAURICE [Retaining his hold, fondly]. Never mind the coffee! . . . [Dreamily.] Darling, you don't know how refreshing it is after 26 PORTIA IN POLITICS all de months of toil, of nights under canvas, of feverish gallops over sands and swamps, to spend dis hot season in our own city home, to hear your sweet voice, to see your beautiful face ! PORTIA [Withdrawing her arm and helping him to more coffee] . You talk as if we had been separated. [Fondling him.] Haven't I been with you through all your travels on the Isthmus, helping to solve the problems of keeping the 35,000 employees in order, caring for their welfare and contentment. MAURICE [Getting hold of her arm again]. True, I don't know what we would have done without you. It is easy for us men to prosecute what has already been determined for us. We are used to de rushing dirt trains, de shriek of steam whistles and de clang of iron on iron all day long. Wid transit and chain we are contentedly laying out drainage ditches and de roar of dynamite blasts has become a sort of music to our ears, but how many of us could hold out against de voice of a disgruntled and dissatisfied wife at home? To you, my dear, belongs de credit for making de women on de canal contented wid deir surroundings, glad to make Panama deir home. PORTIA [Passing the rolls]. And it was a labor of love, I assure you; the canal is the most stupendous work that man ever dared to undertake, the greatest engineering triumph of the century, and I was more than glad, my dear, to add my little mite to assist United Col- lective Action. The engineering work of " Gatun Dam " and locks, the " Culebra Cut " are wonderful. [Dreamily.] How great are thy works, oh. Uncle Sam!. . . MAURICE [Getting hold of her arm]. How overwhelming dy influence, oh, woman! De smile which invigorates, de magic touch which restores. I wish I had words strong enough to tell you how much in particular I love you. In your presence I can see noding, dink of noding but you. PORTIA [Passing the fruit]. Better think of the cause which has brought us East, all the way from Panama, of the Colonel's return from the most extraordinary individual pilgrimage of modern days. MAURICE. No, I haven't forgotten de Colonel. No one in dis great RepubHc rejoices more at his safe return, but [taking out a jewel box from his pocket, opening it, and handing it to her] I passed by Tiffany's store last night, just as dey were closing and saw a bracelet, which I dought would just fit dis electric arm of yours. PORTIA [Contemplating the bracelet]. Maurice, you are a dear- it's just the thing I was longing for. How the beautiful things sparkle. [Embracing.] [Enter Senator.] [Somewhat confused, but radiant, they return to their former positions.] ACT TWO 27 SENATOR [To Portia, extending hand]. My dear Marchioness, more charming than ever, you are positively getting younger, how ever do you manage it? [Unwrapping a bouquet which he hands to Portia.] On a day like this I would take no chances with the florist's messenger. [To Maurice.] How is our toy Republic? How is the climate? MAURICE [Pointedly]. The climate does not bodder us married men. PORTIA [Playfully]. Maurice maintains that the bachelors on the job after a year or so of work become despondent, depressed and visions of Chicago and New York with familiar scenes and fond asso- ciations begin to float out on the curling wreaths of smoke from their pipes, cigars and cigarettes. MAURICE [Excitedly]. I tell you, Senator, dat in each and every instance where a man remained steady on de job for two years de influence can easily be traced to some good woman who kept him dere, and de medal given by de government on such occasions right- fully belongs to de woman, not to de man, but dis is not de only ding where correction is wanted at de works. SENATOR [Consulting his watch, nervously]. We are assigned to the same carriage, Marquis, and time is pressing. You wouldn't like to miss the procession after traveling all the way from Panama exclusively for it, yet, this is exactly What will happen, if— [interrupted.] PORTIA [Playfully]. Nonsense, Senator, it's only 9:30; come, sit down and join us to a cup of cofifee. SENATOR [Gallantly]. No, thank you— I hate the very name— MAURICE [Excitedly]. He says yes, my dear. [To Senator.] Be not agitated, be not agitated. .. [Consulting his watch in turn.] We have ample time; do stay; I shall be glad to relieve my mind before de Senator, who, of all oders, can give us a helping hand. [Portia pours out cofifee for him, and Maurice forces him into a seat.] De copper trust has put so much iron in our screens dat dey fall to pieces wid rust in no time ! De beef trust's meat are tainted. [Ges- ticulating.] La! La! La! La! La! Again de red tape of de com- mission makes me tired ... I lose my temper every time I speak about it. De canal is being built by administrative evasion. [Gesticulating.] If it were not for dis, heaven only knows when it would be finished. [His fist on the table.] I tell you, Senator, many of de obstacles due to existing stringent, uncalled-for laws will have to be eliminated . . . [Hand in the air.] I am de man on de job, and I tell you... [Interrupted.] PORTIA [Pours out cofifee for the Senator]. True, Senator, the Panama situation to-day requires skilled diplomats even more than, that of trained engineers. 28 PORTIA IN POLITICS SENATOR [Taking coffee]. We will talk about Panama as we go. I see you haven't been out, while I have. The streets are a packed mass of cheering humanity, and the police are inadequate to cope with the situation. They are not used to such crowds [drinking]. MAURICE [As he exits]. I will not be long... Once de subway express is reached, de Battery is not far off, and dere we are. SENATOR [Gesticulating]. Yes, there we are. Wait until you see the thousands who are ahead of you... [To Portia.] Even the Hudson looks black-covered with countless steamboats heavily crowded with spectators, steaming up behind the parading fleet, nearly two hundred strong. It is a reception the like of which has never been recorded in history. PORTIA. I am glad New York is doing its best as a host in behalf of the nation. SENATOR [Gallantly, returning his cup to the table]. The coffee was just what I needed. You must let me come in the evening in my touring car and show you Chinatown. Fifth Avenue, with its decor- ated clubs looks like a veritable sea of stars and stripes, but it is in the foreign quarters that the color scheme is at its best. PORTIA [Tapping his shoulder]. Talk to my husband — I shall be glad to go. [Amiably.] My opinion about you has materially improved since your conversion to the cause of Woman Suffrage. The right to vote is never so earnestly claimed by those who are happy in this world as by the others; it is for these others it is demanded, and through this it is sacred, SENATOR. Woman's suffrage has passed the stage of argument. As far as I am concerned, I am ashamed I ever opposed it. [Play- fully,] I am all for you. Politicians are no longer able to evade the question of votes for women. It has become a great problem, both social and national. As for you, personally, if you were not married, I would tell you all the ideas in my head, PORTIA [Playing with her fan], I am heartily glad you are with us in our struggle for emancipation, and against the narrow interpre- tation of the declaration of the rights of man. It is not enough for us women to exert an influence, we want to exert our direct action ; we want to act. to struggle, to vote in the government as in the home, and we shall triumph because we must, [Enter Maurice in his out-of-door clothes, the Senator joining him.] SENATOR. Help me persuade the Marchioness to join us for the evening parade. MAURICE [Kissing his wife and studying her expression]. Cer- tainly, Senator, we shall be delighted. PORTIA [To Maurice]. When I first met your wife in Washing- ACT TWO 29 ton, I admired her from a distance ; to-day, I was glad of the oppor- tunity to tell her so personally. [Both exit.] [Portia busies herself for sometime with the newspapers on the table, consulting only the first pages in each instant, particularly those with the Colonel's photograph on the title page — then walks over to piano, singing and playing, selection.] [Enter Thomas, bringing with him a florist's box tied up with a pink ribbon.] THOMAS [Handing box to Portia]. This box has just arrived. [Busies himself with clearing the table.]. [Aside.] If it had only arrived an hour sooner! PORTIA [Taking box, opening it and examining bouquet] From Maurice — his usual offering. It's not every woman who can boast of receiving such original bouquets [pause] from her own husband. [Smelling the flowers, continues her playing and singing.] [Thomas, with all the silverware and other breakfast things on his tray, walking toward the door. . .Suddenly there is a roar of thunder, a quiver of the earth and Portia has difficulty in holding on to her stool, supporting herself on the piano, her singing and playing stop abruptly. Thomas drops to the floor in a sitting position and the things on his tray scatter all over the room.] [PICTURE] THOMAS [Frightened and unnerved, making the sign of the cross]. The world is coming to an end. ..Oh, my God!. ..Why did we ever leave Panama I ... I will rather face the Banana Knives of Panama than be shot to pieces under the Con-sti-too-tion ! . . . PORTIA [Completely recovered and smiling broadly]. Don't talk nonsense, Thomas ; this was the salute of our 31 guns to the returning hero. He has arrived ! He has arrived ! My out-of-door clothes, — I will not deliberately miss this sight ! [Exit Thomas, hurriedly, taking the tray with him, also the silver- ware, 'but leaving some food scattered on the floor. Portia shortly follows.] [The room remains empty; the noise in the street is at its height, horns, rattles and all kinds of noise-making devices are in full play, also music of passing troops.] [The street bell rings. Thomas shows himself at the door. Enter the four Reporters, hats in hand. As they are left alone, the Progres- sive and Independent Democratic Reporters wipe the prespiration from their faces, etc.] INDEPENDENT DEM. [His right hand to his collar]. My collar is on the blink. PROGRESSIVE [Taking out two soft collars from his pocket]. 30 PORTIA IN POLITICS So is mine — so is mine. [Reassuring himself that they are alone, he helps himself to one of the collars, replacing the old one, handing the other to the Independent Democrat.] INDEPENDENT DEM. [Removing his old collar and disappointed at finding the new collar too small for his neck] . . . [Bus.] . . .The Re- publican Reporter, noticing the situation, lends him a pocket knife in dumb show. The buttonhole is then enlarged and the new collar used. [Picture.] IND. REP. [Noticing the rolls scattered all over the floor]. Food! Food! [Placing hat on table, picking up a roll and devouring it greedily.] I have been up since five this morning and didn't eat since last night ! . . . REPUBLICAN [Picking up in turn another roll and biting into it, after some hesitation]. I've read your story and description of the parade [taking out newspaper from his pocket and reading] : " From every conceivable makeshift pinnacle, roofs, windows, barrels and boxes, men, women and children greet the hero with cheers of welcome waving of handkerchiefs, umbrellas and canes." This edition was for sale in the streets five minutes after the Colonel landed. It couldn't have been written then, and if prepared in advance, you might have written it six weeks ahead. . . [pause]. You see my point — there was no need for your getting up at five o'clock in the morning to do it ! . . . [The Independent, Democratic and Progressive join in the laugh as they help themselves to fruit, the Independent to an apple and the Progressive to a banana.] DEMOCRAT [Indignantly]. True, my copy was prepared in ad- vance, and in anticipation of what was most likely to happen. I remained on my job to the last minute, watching the streets and the crowds, and if further developments didn't warrant it, the entire edi- tion would have been withdrawn!. . .But what about you? [Taking out copy of Republican's paper from his pocket and reading] : " East and West, North and South, the entire city is decked with flags and banners. [Emphatically.] Chinatown is ablaze with lighted red, white and blue lanterns, the lighted electric bulbs in all colors, the fruit of the delicate electric vines are lacing the tenements in a bond of sympathy." [Punching the paper.] Now, my friends, you know perfectly well that the lanterns in Chinatown will not be lighted until this evening. [Independent and Progressive join in the laugh.] REPUBLICAN [Plaintively]. I admit to have written it, but it is still in my pocket!. .. [Hands to his pockets, taking out paper and unfolding it.] But where did you get a copy? ACT TWO 31 DEMOCRAT. [Pointing to column in newspaper before him.] Here it is as large as life, and as foolish as your head. REUPBLICAN. [Taking the newspaper from his companion, and a written paper from his pocket, reading his written copy] : "The home made banners on the East side fire escapes fastened with clothes-pins, add much to the picturesque color scheme of the nation [pointing to paper] .. .Now, this is what I intended for the morning edition. DEMOCRATIC. You did, did you ? REPUBLICAN. [Reflectively.] Oh, I see it now, well, what do you think!. . .in the hurry. . .looking into a candy store window dis- playing paper lions and tigers leaping amid candy jungle, grass and flags, I placed my hand in the wrong pocket and gave the office boy the evening copy instead. [Noise in the street below makes itself heard.] IND. DEMOCRAT. [His R hand on the Republican's L shoulder.] Friends, there is nothing to quarrel about ; your reports are far from exaggeration. Both the parades on land as well as on sea were most successful. [Walking towards C] No circumstance appropriate to a triumphal entry was wanting; if anything, your description falls way behind, compared with what really happened. PROGRESSIVE. [Biting into an apple.] The crowd's, bands and the shouting were good in their place, 'but above all, there was a sincere heartiness of greeting vv'hich could not be duplicated and that is the thing which has impressed me most. DEMOCRATIC, [Joining them, centre.] True, it was a country- wide rejoicing at his safe and sound return. IND, DEMOCRAT, [Eating,] You are right,.., the demonstration comes from the heart, as if he were a favorite son returning from his wanderings, and the crowd a collective mother. REPUBLICAN. [Excitedly.] Representing practically every im- portant State and large city in the country, there were over 30,000 people in the procession. PROGRESSIVE. [Reflectively.] I wonder if he fully realized what it all means when he stepped ashore and looked into the thousands of citizens faces, gathered in good-will to do him honor? [To Republican.] Tell me, friend, how did you first meet the Colonel ? REPUBLICAN. When his regiment of Rough Riders was or- ganized . , , He understands how to accept honors, and knows equally as well how to rough it, for he didn't have an easy time then. Like the rest of us, he carried his own bed and his own dinner on his own back. . .our food and shelter being identical. Like us he unrolled his 32 PORTIA IN POLITICS blanket and lay upon it on the damp ground at night, pounding his own coffee in his cup early in the morning. IND. DEMOCRAT. [Joining them.] Do you remember how, against orders he removed us from underneath the shadow of the military baloon which had been sent up right above the army? The Spaniards concentrated their fire in the direction of our baloon, and were it not for the Colonel's independence of thought and action, neither of us would have been alive to-day to tell this story. DEMOCRATIC. For or against instructions, and whether it was a question of saving life or risking it, his orders were always obeyed. Didn't his regiment follow him to a man when he ad>vanced on St. Juan Hill? PROGRESSIVE. His handkerchief became the battleflag of St. Juan Hill when the astonished darkies split and let him pass through their ranks, and mark my word, it will not be the last time When his red bandana will figure in the making of modern American history. REPUBLICAN. You are right. His shoulder straps have been alto- gether too light to crush out this powerful man's initiative. He knows what he wants, and I have never met another man who was willing to work so hard' to get it. I have carefully examined many of the interesting things he reclaimed from the heart of the wilderness, as well as some of his momentos from the capitals of the mightiest and most highly polished civilizations. IND. DEMOCRAT. His African expedition was a huge success, as big indeed as everything he has ever undertaken, and his chief weakness, if he has any, seems to be no other but his cruel strength. His past, present, and future are summed up in the one word, success. [Repeated shouting in the street below, horns, bells, rattles and all other kinds of noise making devices making themselves heard. Music etc., followed by cries.] Long live our hero!. . . [Enter Portia.] [She is in out of door clothes and hat, looking her prettiest in a different gown, shaking hands with each one separately, smiling into their faces, as she meets them in turn. PORTIA. [To the Democratic reporter.] I am glad to see you. [To the Republican.] Delighted to see you. [To Independent Democrat.] Welcome, very welcome!. . . [To Progressive.] Charmed, charmed!... [To all of them, as she stops to take up her out of door things.] This is a pleasant surprise, welcome, boys, welcome to my home ! It's a long time since we last met in Washington. [The Reporters group around her, anxious to make themselves useful. She hands her gloves to the Democratic Reporter, allows Progressive to pull off sleeve of R. arm and the Independent Democrat ACT TWO 33 the left sleeve. The Republican Reporter comes in for the hat; the reporters smiling and nodding to her as she talks, relieving each in turn of her things.] [To Democrat, getting her gloves and placing them on chair.] Thank you . [To Republican, relieving him of her hat.] Thank you very much. [To Independent Democrat, relieving him of coat.] You are very kind. [To Progressive, giving him a squeeze of the arm.] I am simply delighted to see you again. [Replacing things on chair.] Reporters [together.] So very glad you have returned. PORTIA. What a splendid, what a brilliant reception for our na- tional hero, how every one of his movements was watched and every glance studied [pausing for breath.] How heavenly it must be to be great, to have all the world heralding your name and fame. DEM. REPORTER [to Republican— aside.] How handsome she is! PROGRESSIVE to Portia. [Yes, we all love [pause] him and our love is without an end. REPUBLICAN. [Proudly.] We are the four Americans who were first in greeting the Colonel upon his return to civilization. PROGRESSIVE. Ours were the first four hats which were waved frantically to greet him with a home-made American flag at our mast head. DEMOCRATIC. We were the first to receive the swing of his olive green helmet in response. IND. DEMOCRAT. The first to press his outstretched hand, the first to receive his smile of welcome— the first vanguard of the civiliza- tion he left. REPUBLICAN. [Placing himself in attitude.] And what a time we have had, racing eight thousand miles to the other end of the worid to reach him, to see him, to bring tidings of him to his people. DEMOCRATIC. [Nudging the Republican Reporter.] What keen rivalry in the effort of reaching him first. IND. DEMOCRAT. [Boastfully.] Realizing the interest of the American people in knowing every detail of his experiences, time, money and distance didn't count. PROGRESSIVE. That, trip will live forever in the memory of all participants. We have followed him through many lands, where kings and presidents, governments and municipalities were rivaling each other for his entertainment. DEMOCRATIC. Yes, it was a duty which was a privilege. Talk of American enthusiasm, you should have seen Europe. 34 PORTIA IN POLITICS IND. DEMOCRAT. The character of the reception he received abroad made us realize the unequally high position America holds in the world's affairs, and the high regard in which he is held personally. PORTIA. I am glad that we are all equally enthusiastic for hmi. but all ithe more confused why at this of all times you should call upon me, instead of shouting in the streets with the rest. To what am I m- debted for this great pleasure. PROGRESSIVE. [As they all make for the newspapers in their pockets.] Our work in the street started at day break, and [pointmg to the copies] it's finished. DEMOCRATIC. [Replacing his papers.] As to this particular visit, you owe it to yourself and your intimate acquaintance with the condi- tions at Panama. REPUBLICAN. [Waiving his paper in the air.] Of course you realize that on this of all days the public interest in his favorite child, the Panama canal, is intense. PORTIA. [Rings the bell for Thomas, who enters.] Bring some refreshments, Thomas. [Exit Thomas— returning shortly with tray of soft drinks, and exits.] PORTIA. [As she fills the glasses.] You will not say no to re- freshments, boys. I had a hard time pushing through the crowds and can imagine how thirsty you must be. . . [To Republican Reporter.] What will you have? Republican. [Bowing low.] Thank you, nothing!... DEMOCRATIC. [Catching her look, absent mindedly.] I will have the same. IND. DEMOCRAT. [Taking some lemonade.] You are very con- siderate. ROGRESSIVE. [Accepting some seltzer.] You are very kind. PORTIA. [To the Republican Reporter.] Can't I induce you to take something? [Noticing the change of expression.] Do it for my sake ! DEMOCRATIC. My editor thinks that the canal will never be finished, and even if it is, a thousand and one little things will creep up which will prevent it from being used. PORTIA. [As she passes lemonade to the Rep. Reporter.] The canal, my friends, has already taken definite shape, even the uninitiated can see the grandeur of its conception, intricacy of detail and eflfi- ciency of execution. [Offering lemonade to democratic reporter who is dying to take it. but still insists on ceremony.] ACT TWO 35 Great strides have been made in all directions. These have been busy years of marked progress [a glass suspended in her hand], soon, very soon, the ships of the world will be passing through it... The American Eagle will spread and flap his wings, and the biblical ex- pression, "The Spirit of God ever moving upon the face of the waters" will become a visible reality, a tangible fact, uniting the two oceans for the navigation and commerce of all nations. REPUBLICAN) ,^ , ^ ^ DEMOCRATICC [together.] The work then is booming; it's success is assured. PORTIA. [Emphatically.] Thoroughly and absolutely !.. .To the Colonel will belong the credit for this greatest undertaking of the age, for this achievement without parallel. . .the dreams of the past have be- ■ come the realities of the present and the hopes for the future. If Columbus came to life to-day, he would find his many attempts and failures crowned with success at last. [Placing herself in attitude.] The hundred and twenty five square miles lake laughed at as pre- posterous as late as 1897, when the International Congress met in Paris ... is a practical reality now and sixty per cent, of the con- crete on the locks is already in place. There is no temptation to gamble with our machinery and men on the job, they are sure winners both. REPUBLICAN. [Returning his emptied glass.] What is the aver- age horse power at which the work of men and machines is carried out on the canal ? PORTIA. [Replacing empties on tray.] It's impossible to calculate the horse-power represented by the terrific forces of dynamite which tear down loose the ribs of the mountain, crushing the hills to bits. Again the monsters of steel, whose food is fire, and whose breath is alternate steam and black smoke are actually accomplishing v^^onders. DEMOCRATIC. [Extending his glass for more lemonade and getting it.] How is the new force of collective activity progressing? PORTIA. [Busy with the refreshments.] It has developed with amazing success, and is well worth considering as a means of solving our problems at home [pause] . . .We may well be proud of the canal as a nation. It is something we have done by ourselves, but not en- tirely for ourselves. The Panama canal is quickly developing as the father of the waters. DEMOCR.\TIC. [Playfully.] Yes, and as the mother too, the mother of apropriations. PORTIA. [Now, friends, I am just dying to know the new impres- sions of your travel. [To Progressive, nudging him.] Tell me, tell me something about your European excitements and experiences. 36 PORTIA IN POLITICS PROGRESSIVE. Speaking strictly for myself, the feeling is similar to that of returning from seeing Coney Island on a combina- tion ticket. REPUBLICAN. [Approvingly.] True, uppermost in my mind are camels, and speeches, marching regiments, and statutes, missionaries, and deserts, pyramids, and dinners. IND. DEMOCRAT. But as to the Colonel, he is the premier Am- erican whose influence upon the old world has been most beneficial. The deep impression his personality, character, aim, and methods as a civil and social reformer have made upon the world is proved by the unequaled reception accorded him by the great rulers of Europe. His journey leaves behind it a shining track of friendship and inspira- tion. DEMOCRATIC. I admire his courage, his excellent common sense, and regard him as a prophet to the great family of nations. As to his reception in Europe, never have kings or emperors attracted so much attention. No other living man has touched the imagination of the world in anything like the same degree. He has taken Europe by storm, and Europe was glad to be so taken. REPUBLICAN. Before his personality, the world's aristocrats have unbent. He has strengthened the esteem in which Americans will henceforth be held abroad. PROGRESSIVE. On the Continent, he occupied a place quite unique. People regard him as something more than a king. I have watched his marvelous progress at all times, everywhere, and am de- lighted. IND. DEMOCRAT. Europe no longer considers an order or a college degree of real value unless he condescends to accept it. PORTIA. Many good people are so very uninteresting, and again, many interesting people are anything but good; he is both thoroughly good, and thoroughly interesting. [Enter Maurice.] MAURICE. [Greeting the reporters, and shaking hands cordially.] Dere was de greatest collection of picked human flowers ever assembled in one procession, and officials were as thick as huckleberries. La, La, La, La, La! What a glorious reception for our friend, de Colonel! What enthusiasm! Why should dis man exercise such an influence everywhere? Is he a Moses, or a Napoleon, dey ask? PORTIA. [Playfully.] Making no allowances for the elapse of time, I would say he is more. It has taken Moses forty years to travel a distance of but 180 miles, and he never addressed a larger audience than a tribe of Jews in the forest. The Colonel traveled five thousand miles in five weeks, and his audiences which embody kings and emperors, may be counted by millions, everything he says being immediately translated into all languages, everywhere. As to Napoleon ACT TWO 37 . . . Napoleon in his insolence and exaggerated vanity made his way over broken promises and seas of blood. He was a hero of massacres ; the Colonel is a hero of liberty. MAURICE. Dis was some demonstration ! La, la, La, la, la what a crowd ! What style ! . . . I regret dat I did not succeed to get near de Colonel!. . .Dignitaries and officers of state were as dick as huckle- berries and no individual did really count. PROGRESSIVE. [Sympathetically.] That is indeed disappointing after all the trouble you have taken to come all the way from Panama. PORTIA. [Helping Maurice to lemonade.] Among the 30,000 in line there were a good many visitors from the further States of the Union, whose visit was accompanied with greater hardships than ours. .. [pause] .. .It was different though when the Colonel visited Panama. MAURICE. [Dreamily, after drinking.] Dere it was my Portia who has made de flags flying, de trumpets blowing, and de bands play- ing. Dere she was indeed de' front and rear of de procession. . . [Spills some on the Progressive's coat.] Pardon, pardon!. . . PORTIA. [Helping to dry the reporters coat.] Take it from me, boys, it isn't the feeling that I... that we' have been neglected ... It is the regret of being unable to do more at this moment of national rejoicing that worries me. REPORTERS [Sympathetically.] Yes, Marchioness, we under- stand you perfectly. MAURICE. [The telephone bell rings, Maurice walks up leisurely and removing receiver, holds it in his hand while talking, absent- mindedly forgetting to place it near his ear. Bus.] I tell you, my friends, if ever I felt like a small potato this was the day! [Placing receiver near ear, as the bell continues to ring.] Hello — yes, he is in, but he is very busy. . .yes. . .busy, [winking to the reporters while again removing receiver, as above.] [To Portia.] Small potato hardly expresses it... a toothpick, a broken, discarded toodpick is nearer my mark. [Listening at 'phone and changing his expression to extreme excitability.] Will you kindly repeat it?. . .Yes. ..Yes, I am de Marquis. . .Oh, indeed .... Honored, delighted, charmed ! . . . .charmed .... Goodbye. [Hangs up receiver,] [Excitedly.] My darling, my friends, I have just been surprised wid de announcement dat we are to have a visitor. . .de distinguished visitor wid us. REPORTERS. [Excitedly.] Well, well, well! PORTIA. [Uneasy.] Well, I declare! [Pausing for breath.] You don't mean to tell me that they, that he. . . [nervously examining her appearance before the mirror.] 38 PORTIA IN POLITICS MAURICE. [Pointing in the direction of telephone, then waving his hands in the air,] Exactly, de Colonel is on his way here. We must show all honor to de distinguished guest. REPORTERS. [Getting ready to go.] Well this is practically an order for us to go. [Regretfully, fixing their gaze on Portia.] But what an opportunity for a brilliant write-up ! PROGRESSIVE. [Reflectively.] A chance of a life time, upon my •word! A kingdom, a kingdom for a bunch of flowers! [To his com- panions.] Is there a way to get it somehow. . .borrow it, steal it?. . . PORTIA. [Bringing forward boquet given to her by the Senator; unfastening it and distributing the flowers carelessly among the re- porters, to their amazement as she proceeds.] I am so excited at the unexpected honor! Wait, boys, let me think, let me think! [To Maurice, pointing to her dress.] Is this the proper dress, my dear? [Placing her things on chair in a better position.] MAURICE. [Nervously.] Your dress is all right, but how are you going to receive him? Let's put our heads together. La, La, la la la. [The reporters, unaware of the other bouquet quickly club together their flowers and all together work at putting the wire together and fastening it into a bouquet again.] [Picture.] PORTIA. [Bringing forward her other bouquet, contemplating the flowers.] These flowers, boys, are yours [pointing to buttonholes]. We will present him with this bouquet, as a present from the repre- sentatives of the Press. . . REPORTERS, together. [Clapping their hands.] Capital; splendid! Bully! Excellent!. . . PROGRESSIVE. [Examining bouquet.] I call it ripping!... PORTIA. [Excitedly.] Bring in the Colonel's portrait, Maurice, the flags and decorations. .. [To Reporters as Maurice exits.] Bring the table up to the centre wall, boys please. . . [The reporters do so hurriedly, placing chair on the table, the fat Democratic Reporter jumps on the chair anxious for the opportunity of arranging the decorations, as Maurice returns, portrait and flage in hand. MAURICE. [Excitedly, as he studies the position of portrait on wall, which is a little one s;ided.] La, la, la la la, dis will never do, come down... [The fat reporter has more difficulty in coming down than he had in jumping up and is carried down by his companions, as Maurice mounts the chair, correcting the positions of portrait and flags. The Reporter and Portia each in turn helping with the decorations, re- placing of table, chair, etc. [Picture.] As he comes down Maurice treads on his right toe with his left foot. [Bus.] ACT TWO 39 DEMOCRATIC. [To Portia.] If we want this thing to go off right, we'd better rehearse before hand, to get it perfect. PORTIA. [Taking kindly to the suggestion.] Undoubtedly, re- hearsing will assist our doing it decently. DEMOCRATIC. [With swelled chest and outstretched R. arm, holding a newspaper behind him in his L., addressing himself to Portia as if she were the Colonel.] Welcome, trice welcome to your native land and your home town ! We are more glad than we can say to see you home again! [Stealthily bringing forward the hand holding the newspaper, turning and looking at it, then replacing it to its former position.] We have watched with delight every inch of progress made during your travels in foreign lands [consults paper again as above.] The honors showered upon you by the leading nations of the world, and have gloried in it all. [At this, he drops the newspaper to the floor be- hind him, bending down and picking up the bouquet, is about to ofifer it to Portia.] We are glad, heartily glad to welcome you ! . . . [The Republican reporter picks up the newspaper, the Independent Democrat intercepts the flowers.] PROGRESSIVE. [Excitedly.] This will never do, why it's ridicul- ous, [sneeringly], and this is the best that can be done by one of the most brilliant journalists before the public. MAURICE. [Excitedly.] Pardon, pardon, I rader liked it. PORTIA. [Waving hand to Democratic reporter.] So do I, I think it will do nicely. PROGRESSIVE. [Taking the newspaper from the Republican, placing his finger on the exact spot where the Mayor's speech is printed.] Yes, yes. Marquis, it has done nicely when it was deHvered by the Mayor this morning. MAURICE. [Threateningly to Democratic reporter.] La, la, la la la! DEMOCRATIC. [Replacing bouquet.] It's quite true, but I hoped to paraphrase it, so that it would not be noticed. Oh, you critics!. . . PROGRESSIVE. [Taking the position formerly occupied by Democratic, his shoulders well thrown back, head erect, chin level, arms loosely at the sides, speaking with energy, life and force, as he starts] : Colonel, Master, Sir: You are the chosen messenger of destiny to emancipate nations and races, the man who is scattering sunshine royally. [Bows slightly and gracefully from the waist.] To few men has it been given to render such services as you rend- ered to the world. [Clears throat and wipes mouth with handker- chief.] 40 PORTIA IN POLITICS You are to the people what the sun is to the universe, you are the embodiment of new hope for men. [Pushing back his hair with a slow and graceful movement.] You have always labored for the country's good, and we as the representatives of the American people delight to do you honor. [Stretching out his hands and getting hold of bouquet.] You have made the American people think, and will make them think with good results to the nation, [Nervously plucking the petals of the flowers, confused.] We are. . .your are. . . [Wipes prespiration from forehead.] iG)Ionel, Master, Sir... [With swelled chest and outstretched arms prepared for a further flow of oratory which does not come.] Isn't it frightfully hot!. .. DEMOCRATIC. [Sardonically.] Yes, roasting! Sit down, you have just finished, my friend. You have finished ; you may not know it, but you have. PORTIA. [Sympathetically.] It was all right, as far as it went. REPUBLICAN. [Protestingly.] So he did, so he did, but the trouble with these enthusiasts is they don't know when to stop. [All excitement.] INDEPENDENT DEMOCRAT. [Regretfully.] I am truly sorry. This is a momentous occasion, and he is not to be trusted. I am sorry but he has only himself to blame. MAURICE. [Coming to the rescue.] My darling and friends, I will pay my respects to de Colonel ! . . . I will do de talking. . .La, la, la la la ! Where is de bouquet? [Finding it and placing himself in a grotesque position.] [Picture.] PORTIA. [Kindly.] Darling, whoever taught you to pose like this?... MAURICE. [In a more pleasing position, but does not exactly know what to do with his hands, beginning in a high nervous voice, of rapid fire delivery, suggesting an earthquake announcing its exit from the bowels of the earth, with accent on the e, in the word Colonel.] Colonel, Colonel, Colonel: When you speak de world listens, de people of all nations are your audiences, and your popularity is gain- ing constantly by the flight of time. Colonel, Colonel, Colonel — [In- terrupted.] PORTIA. [Pointedly.] This address, my dear, is to be not in- ternational but local, try another key, darling. . . MAURICE. [Confused at first, then more composed.] You are regarded as America's greatest apostle of justice in public life; no President could have stood nearer de people, or been more approach- able. ACT TWO 41 PORTIA. [Clapping her hands.] This is better, much better. MAURICE. [Gaining courage.] You are de observed of all ob- servers, eclipsing in popular interests all the crowned heads of Europe. [Bringing bouquet forward.] You are a statesman whose intimate as- sociation wid de rulers of Europe make him de leading statesman of de new world. PORTIA. [Critically.] I am sorry to interrupt you. darling, but you are branching out into internationalism again. MAURICE. [Excitedly, dropping bouquet, picking it up and re- placing on table.] Mon die, mon die! [To the reporters.] Could any man make a good speech wid his wife around? No, no, I shall not speak, I am out of it, do what you like, I have finished!. . . PORTIA. [To Republican reporter, encouragingly.] Here, my friend, you look the part. . .1 can see in your face that you know ex- actly what we want and how it is wanted [handing him the bouquet as a sign to proceed.] REPUBLICAN. [With a self satisfied expression, but in a rather husky voice at the start.] We are delighted to add the homage of our acclaim to the man whose methods as a reformer have made a deep impression upon the world. . .Our hearts beat high in your pres- ence when confronted with the vitalizing qualities of your moral earnestness. . . PORTIA. [To Maurice.] This is just how it should be, it's the right key. MAURICE. [Protestingly.] La, la, la la la! It's not any more local dan what I said. DEMOCRATIC. [Excitedly.] Go ahead, friend, finish it, finish it, finish it. REPUBLICAN. [Resuming former position.] You have arrested the evil tendencies of the age and awakened the public conscience. You have [interrupted] ... PROGRESSIVE. [Protestingly.] Wait a minute; this is my copy slightly altered. ..[to the others] isn't it the very things which I said?. . . REPUBLICAN. No, no; besides, I will cut the last sentence out. . . [Sneeringly] You should be proud that at least something of what you said could be put to practical use. . .Where was I. . . [Nerv- ously, his face worn and paler, waving his R hand before him.] We are delighted to add the homage of our acclaim [his hand to his forehead] . . .We are delighted. . . DEMOCRATIC. [Pointing with his R hand.] You said that at the beginning, friend. MAURICE. [Sharply.] Yes. comrade, at de very beginning. 43 PORTIA IN POLITICS REPUBLICAN. [Tangled.] Did I ?. . .so I did, so I did. [Nervous- \y.] Isn't it funny how a trifle like this can knock one completely off his feet. [Replaces bouquet and shamefacedly retires.] IND. DEMOCRAT. [Placing himself in attitude.] My three news- paper friends who have spoken are considered the most brilliant writers on the force [pause], but when it comes to extemporaneous public speaking, it's an entirely different matter. PROGRESSIVE. [To Independent Democrat.] True, but you are the exception which proves the rule. [To Portia.] He talks his very tallest !... Once get him talking and nothing on earth will ever upset this man. PORTIA. [Handing bouquet.] And so the victors laurels are indisputably yours. This may or may not be the opportunity of a life-time, but it is not the kind of chance a newspaper man gets every day. IND. DEMOCRAT. [Taking bouquet.] I admit it is mighty diffi- cult to say something new after all the extras which our papers printed this morning every minute, twice. Nothing can be said on this sub- ject which has not been said hundreds of times before [pause] but. . , [In a posing position, pointing with the bouquet.] Dear Colonel, you are a many sided statesman, full of surprising bigness and genius. Your words cut like swords through the passionate popular emotions, you have produced a revolution in American sentiment, manners and morals and broadened the social conscience of the American people. You are the whirlwind of America's social purification, you. . . [inter- rupted]. PORTIA. [Applauding.] This sounds good to me. It is clean, direct and sinewy, yet flurd and eloquent at the same time. IND. DEMOCRAT. You have cleaned many of our augean stables and seek to destroy nothing but evil. Through your effort the gulf stream between labor and capital has been reduced, and your reforms are practical, silent revolutions that cannot go backward. [Extending bouquet.] You have reached the crowning point of human ambition, passing swiftly from high to highest, your exceptional career justifying this exceptional recognition. MAURICE. [Encouragingly.] Dis is de real stuff. [To Portia.] I told you he's de boy to do it. IND. DEMOCRAT. [Resuming his speech.] Now and always you have carefully studied the greatest good to the greatest number with equal justice to all and rightly your greatest testimonials have come direct from the people. PORTIA. [Approvingly.] Well done!... ACT TWO 4^ IND. DEMOCRAT. [Losing his grip.] Possibly, possibly, but not at this late hour of the day, he will never have the time to listen to it all!... , ,^ , , [Thoughtfully.] My idea is that the Marchioness should speak tor us. You\now her style, boys, from the good old days A few words spontaneously spoken by her will, I am sure, prove to be more appro- priate than all our speeches. PROGRESSIVE. Right! REPUBLICAN. What our friend said, I most warmly reecho. It's the best idea which ever came to light from this mahogany topper of yours. [To Portia.] I don't see how the Marchioness could refuse our pressing invitation. •,, r • PORTIA. [All excitement.] If it is all up to me, we will elimmate the speech making. I will hand him the bouquet and promise to mail him the speech I would have made, if given the necessary time for preparation. [Pause.] The shortest and most successful speech I ever made was when as a perfect stranger, I called at the Editor's office m London. "Young, lady," he said, "I can't place you." "Well, Mr. Editor that's what I am here for," I replied. He looked at me again and I got my job. [The reporters applaud.] MAURICE. [To Portia.] You will have to hurry my dear, he may arrive at any moment. [To reporters.] If dere are to be no speeches it alters my plans for the reception. [Pointing to adjoining rooms.] Boys, make yourselves at home in dere for a little while. My wife and I will meet him alone. PORTIA. [Tidying herself before the mirror.] Curl up your moustach, Maurice, it makes you look so much more dignified and im- posing... MAURICE. [Curling mustach.] You dink so, darling? PORTIA. [Excitedly.] I hear footsteps, our guest is here, and I have not had a chance to do anything. [The reporters disperse to separate entrances and disappear, as the Colonel enters.] [The Colonel's face is brown, expressing cheerfulness and strength, in pink of condition. He is accompanied by his former Secretary, who looks more manly and prosperous.] THOMAS. [Announcing.] His Honor, the Colonel!. .. [Backs out as he exits.] COLONEL. [Greeting Portia and Maurice, who bow and courtesy in turn.] I feel a deep inward satisfaction at the quahty of my wel- come by the city and nation, but am equally pleased to have succeeded at last to hide where no one can find me. [The reporters heads are peeping out from all directions.] 44 PORTIA IX POLITICS [Facing Maurice and Portia.] I am eager and anxious for all first hand information you can give me about my favorite child, the Repub- lic of Panama and the big jc^b. [Maurice nudging his wife to do the talking — bus.] PORTIA. [Courtesies.] The lock job is stupendous, and, as you undoubtedly know, it's nearing completion. In the three steps in the flight of locks, the upper one is completed. One has only to imagine it full of water to comprehend what it will look like from the rail of a passing steamer, COLONEL. [Placing his hand on Maurice's shoulder.] And the working force, are they contented? MAURICE. De provisions for entertainment, bowling alleys, pic- tures and concerts, as provided by de government 'have done a great (deal in dis direction. PORTIA. [Facing the Colonel.] The Panama Canal, your child, has grown so big that it is to compete with the wonders of creation with the secret relations of the great trinity of nature — sea, earth and mountain. It is the greatest engineering work ever performed by men — the biggest gift bestowed upon the world by any nation, and never again will an American battleship be forced to sail round South Am- erica in times of peace or war. Your Panama is changing the map of the world more thoroughly and permanently than it has ever been accomplished by any conqueror. But it is in constructive statesmanship that you have excelled most in the past and where you can serve the American people best in the future. This great and wonderful country of ours is to-day nothing more nor less than a country of the vested interests by the vested interests and for the vested interests and nothing but the leadership of a man who can kindle the people with the fire of their own burning souls will — can — save them. Our older men find business more and more difficult to renew and the doors of opportunity are practically closed to the young... the rank and file of our people finding life very difficult to sustain. You are the skillful helmsman to direct into the port of safety the spirit and purpose of the progresive movement; the leader best qualified to interpret their visions of inspired idealism into determined action; the one man around whom the progressive movement can best unite and organize. . .More than any other living man you are best qualified to protect the plain American people from the combined on- slaught of special privilege and political corruption from glorified piracy and legalized larceny, from the vampires who are crucifying the nation on their cross of gold ! . . . ACT Tiro 45 [Handing him bouquet.] On behalf of this plain people I offer their united compliments and best of good wishes with the accom- panying bouquet, to you, the standard bearer of America's progres- sive moods and ambitions, — ^the greatest living American of our gen- eration — the man whose voice re-echoes around the world ! . , . [The Colonel takes the bouquet and looks his thanks to her, cor- dially presing her R. hand as he replaces bouquet to his left. [The reporters waving their hats in the air and saluting, Maurice ju'bilant at his wife's success and the former Secretary at his Chief's reception.] As the Curtain Falls. 46 •'PORTIA IN POLITICS'' Act Three. NewYork City, November 8th, 1910. A room in Portia's home, same as Act 2, only differently furnished and arranged. In the centre replacing table, there is a flat top desk with a telephone attachment at the side ; two chairs near C. & R. of C. On the desk three maps are displayed — one of New York City and its districts, another of all other states of the Union, and a third that of all New York Counties — A map with imposing headlines : ''New York State Vote for Governor" is in the centre. An attractive inkstand and writing materials complete the desk outfit. On the left upper entrance a stock ticker under a glass cover. A long, narrow waste paper basket containing tape near it. At the extreme R. a "Nezvs Ticker;" many printed pages hang- ing at the side of ticker. In the centre of the room up stage, a large blackboard with many diagrams upon it, viz: the names of all New York State Counties, New York City Districts, as well as of all States of the Union, They are in three separate columns, one next the other, and arranged in alphabetical order. [See Diagram.] Above the blackboard in the centre of the wall hangs the por- trait of H. L. Stimson, decorated with American flags at the sides and the inscription of "Our Next Governor" underneath. Electric lights above the black-board and in other parts of the room where practicable. Mats on the floor. The weather outside is very stormy, regular London weather for the time of the year, which is very irregular for New York. As the curtain rises, the Colonel is discovered sitting near desk C. ; A small American flag and a Stimson button pinned on his coat. He is engrossed in the maps and copy 'before him, watching the course of events with the greatest anxiety, shrugging his shoulders, evidently impatient and dissatisfied; peruses the tape and news sheets before him in turn, correcting maps as he goes along with the reading of the tape and news sheets. PORTIA. [Decorated elaborately with election flags, buttons, etc., is busily engaged on the blackboard, trying hard to keep pace in her corrections with the news ticker and the tape ; walking repeatedly too and from the above and the blackboard, brush and chalk in hand. Through the partly opened window the noise and horns of celebrat- ing election crowds make themselves heard. Closes the window and the noise subsides. She then takes several ACT THREE ^^ sheets from the news ticker, walks up to the stock ticker cutting up another piece of tape, placing them both before the Colonel. She be- trays the fever of unrest that comes to the young warrior on the night of a battle. Colonel. [As he surveys the new copy placed before him.] Thank you, my dear... It was good and considerate of you turning your house into a temporary political headquarters for me. At my own office, I could never have succeeded in getting a moment to myself. My picture has been taken several thousand times during the day, and I haven't even changed my hat. PORTIA. [Cordially.] The privilege is all mine, Colonel, all mine [pause] . . .My only regret is the bad weather. Rain, rain, rain every- where ! . . . Rain and tempest ! . . . COLONEL. [Examining critically and quickly the new copy.] Yes, the country districts are unmanageable. . .Where it does not ram, there is snow and gale! [Making several new corrections on the maps before him.] PORTIA. [The telephone bell rings— takes up receiver.] Hello, yes, yes ! [Getting more and more interested, then repeating message] : Westchester is safe in the Republican column— good— I am glad to hear it!. . .Wait!. . .What is our plurality ?... [Pause] .. .Four thou- sand three hundred [discouraged], well this is not so good. It was nearly eight thousand last election!. . .What?. . .It rains, rains hard- Well this is too bad!... Hold the wire just a moment the Colonel -wants to speak to you. [Turning over receiver to the Colonel.] COLONEL. [Taking receiver.] Tell the boys to get busy; a lot can be done yet to get the vote out !... [Hangs up receiver. Pacing about the room.] Westchester's plurality 3,500 short !.. .Where will I make up for it? [Pause] . . .Not in the Tammany districts. PORTIA. [Comes up to him.] When I think of the nine meet- ings a day in the city, the country and state, the thousands upon thousands who were so anxious to see you— to hear you speak [look- ing lovingly into his eyes], I feel, I know, that in your vocabulary there is no such word as fail. COLONEL. A good many Americans in this election use an en- tirely diflFerent dictionary. PORTIA. [Despondently.] True, people do not always vote as they cheer. [Walking about.] A city crowd easily loses its good sense. If only, if only it did not rain! [Entering on black-board a Demo- cratic victory of 1778 in Chemung.] Scientists know how to bring dbout artificial rain, but no one is powerful enough to prevent it . . . This tempest is worse than the most damaging explosive. It is annihilating your stronghold — the rural dis- 48 PORTIA IN POLITICS tricts. [The telephone bell rings again.] Hello, [listening]. Yes, yes [brightening up]. Good for you, Monroe, this is bully! I can hear your heart beat through the telephone!. . .5,300 Republican plurality, you said — Well, this is at any rate twice as good as in 1906 [pause] . . . Considering the rain, it is rather good. . .Keep your nerve! [Hangs up receiver.] COLONEL. [Consulting the New. York County Map on table.] Another 2,000 shortage on the last election results. [Waving his hand.] I have had enough of those reports!. . . PORTIA. [Sympathetically.] What is to be done?. . .The country roads are almost impassible keeping thousands of Republican voters away from the polls. [Pacing about the room and glancing through the window.] An unequaled, unparallelled national reputation of over thirty years may be wiped out in one half day of rain, like a child's snowball and the Russian navy. Mother Nature can be very hard sometimes and this secret chills I. . . [Enter Maurice, laboring under a serious nervous strain.] MAURICE. [Noticing that the Colonel is absorbed in his. work.] Why Iboder about dese details, Colonel? For many years de world has learned to regard your name and victory as one and inseparable! Aldough de results are not yet generally known, your victory is a foregone conclusion. COLONEL. [Encouraged.] You think so? PORTIA. [Examining the figures on board.] See for yourself — out of sixty counties, many are already in the Republican column with a majority of thousands in your favor. [Counting the counties sep- arately] : Saratoga, 1,400; Westchester, 4,300; Washington, 1,900; and even 1,200 majority in Little Broome [pause] .. .Ah, you will sweep the country like a broom, that's my prophesy ! COLONEL .[Absorbed in thought — ^then examining the maps be- fore him.] Yes, our country majorities are great, but they used to be greater [Pause] and we need more. This rain has upset every- thing. Our last plurality in Orange was more than five times the present 500 mark. PORTIA. [Examining the black-board.] Green is Democratic [pause], that's because it is green. . .[gXancmg again at the black- board] . . .sorry that Orange makes such a poor showing this season. COLONEL. [Correcting the position of his eye-glasses.] Yes, and Ulster is as bad — 375 Democratic majority — nearly; both Demo- cratic — Ulster and Duchess. MAURICE. [Quickly.] Duchess, but not de Marchioness,... she swears by you as de champion of all Americans. ACT THREE 49' PORTIA. [Admiringly.] You are the giant of action who knows all the roads to victory, always pointing to them with a sovereign finger. MAURICE. True, de weader isn't as good as it might have been, but [waving his hand], to you a few drops of rain more or less could hardly matter. COLONEL. [Extending the second finger of his right hand as he pauses in his walk.] Ah, my boy, it does matter! It matters a great deal, PORTIA. [Placing hand on Maurice's shoulder.] You are a French- man, Maurice, and should know that if it had not rained on the night between the 17th and 18th of June, 1815, the future of Europe would have been changed. It was just a little rain, a cloud crossing the sky at a season when rain was not expected which has overthrown Napoleon's Empire and made him oscillate. MAURICE. Why de rain?. . . PORTIA. [Pointedly.] Napoleon had two hundred and forty guns against Wellington's One hundred and fifty-nine, but the ground was moist and it was absolutely necessary for it to become firmer be- fore Napoleon's artillery could maneuver. COLONEL. [Walking up to stock-ticker, examining the figures, then changing them on the maps before him.] MAURICE. [Excitedly.] La, la, la la la ! Now I understand why de battle of Waterloo was delayed until eleven thirty. PORTIA. It was this, this alone, that gave Blucher time to come up, this alone has won the day for the allies. COLONEL. On account of the deluge we may fail to get out our country votes which this time we need badly. MAURICE [Puzzled.] It rains for Democrats and Republicans alike, why worry more dan your opponent? COLONEL [Walking up towards news ticker, then changing some figures on his map]. In this election it is the farmer's vote upon which my success largely depends. It is our only hope, in fact. PORTIA. [Her arm on Maurices shoulder.] You see, my dear, the parts of our State least contaminated by the machine politicians are the country districts, and it is both machines that the colonel is fighting in this election. Great congested centres are always the stronghold of machine control through the corrupt combination of big business with the municipal graft. [Correcting the (blackboard.] In the country there are no powerful corporations with extensive interests depending on the administration ; there material plunder is trivial, and the machine necessarily frugal. MAURICE [Surprised]. Now, I understand. 50 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. We are ashamed to admit it, but our government has gradually changed from a representative democracy into a political oligarchy, dominated by finance and wealth, powers that look only to the enrichment of the few at the expense of the many. MAURICE. [Sympathetically.] I am sure you have done what you could to arouse de American manhood of its citizens. COLONEL. [Clinching his fist.] This rain is worse than fire— the hail up state worse than bullets. I have faced both fire and bullets and conquered, but against the forces of nature, I am powerless... [Exits.] MAURICE [To Portia]. Dis is more serious dan I dought. La, la, la, la, la. PORTIA [Watching the departing figure of the Colonel, then agam examines the stock and news tickers in turn ; changes several figures on the blackboard, showing an overwhelming Democratic majority in the city. MAURICE. [Examining tape in hands, pausing near the black- board]. I see which way the pendulum is striking. .. [Throws the tape on the floor, and placing his arm on her waist, walking towards exit.] Come, my dear, forget it for awhile, forget it!... We may have better luck when we return. [Both exit.] [The room remains empty, and for a minute the ticking of the stock and news tickers is all that is heard, but this sound is quickly deadened by the noise and racket of election crowds in the street below.] [Then the door is partly opened by Thomas, who admits reporters. All the reporters are in their overcoats.] THOMAS. [As he opens the door.] The Colonel was here, he may or may not return, you can wait, if you like. DEMOCRATIC REPORTER. [Taking in with a glance the ar- rangement of the room.] Well, boys, we found the new headquarters, but we missed our man. PROGRESSIVE REPUBLICAN. [Hopefully.] He may yet re- turn. .. [pause] .. .Let us take charge of this magnificent outfit and bring it up to date. Help, everybody ! Boys, if you please, if we can get this black-board up to date, we practically have all the information we want right here ! . . . Now ! [All the reporters accept his view, relieving themselves of their overcoats as they go to work on the black-board, etc.] [Their overcoats are baptizes in confetti, flour, etc., and as they re- move the coats some of the reporters give them a good beating, ap- parently forgetful of their surroundings. In the street below there is one great, big, laughing, shouting, singing, merry-go-round crowd of humanity. Horns, bells, rattles and all other kinds of noise-making ACT THREE 51 devices intermingled. Some of the reporters present use ticklers, con- fetti and flour in play upon their more serious companions. [Picture.] [From the opposite side of the room, the reporters are shouting the news each in turn as he gets it over the wire, while others brush and chalk in hand make corrections and new entries.] PROGRESSIVE REPUBLICAN. [Jubiliant.] Ra! Ra! Ra! Chenango — 718 for Stimson ! [He is applauded by companion.] DEMOCRATIC. [Triumphant.] Erie 3121 for Dix. Hip, hip hurrah! [Is joined by Republican and other Democratis reporters.] PROGRESSIVE. [Pleased.] Jefferson, 1750 for Stimson, for Stimson and Victory ! DEMOCRATIC. [Delighted.] Richmond, 2978 for Dix. Hip, hip! [Joined by other reporters as above.] PROGRESSIVE. [Placing himself in attitude.] Cortland, 1106 for Stimson—Fine ! Splendid! I say, boys, we are getting on. [Sup- ported by nods of approval from companion.] DEMOCRATIC. Oneida 1180 for Dix. Hip! hip! [Supported as above.] PROGRESSIVE. [Waving his hat in the air.] Chatauqua, 5172 for Stimson! Pretty good, my friends, pretty good! DEMOCRATIC. Queens, 8342 for Dix. Hip ! hip ! Well, well ! [Em- bracing companion.] REPUBLICAN. [Rushes to Independent.] This is getting too much for one man ; come, friend, and give me a helping hand. INDEPENDENT. [Joining him, taking up chalk and brush.] PROGRESSIVE. [Jubilant— spinning around the chair near him.] Sixth Assembly District New York, 2234, for Dix ; 2472 for Stimson. Ra, Ra, Ra; [Makes the entry and delighted with the news shakes hands with companion.] DEMOCRATIC. [Getting up and standing on his chair; jubilant.] Borough of Richmond, Stimson, 5032; Dix, 8031 [humming] "For he is a jolly good fellow, for he is a jolly good fellow," etc. PROGRESSIVE. [Mounting chair at opposite end, gesticulating.] Listen to this, boys, hsten to this ... Washington, 1973 for Stimson. I know one man who if he were here, he would clap his hands and say : "It is bully !" DEMOCRATIC. [On his chair.] Kings, Dix plurality 25,372. [Makes the entry, then embraced by companions, they all display a great deal of emotion, singing:] And this is what he said . . . And this is what he said. . . I can't get to Brooklyn to-night. . . The Democrats would not let me . . . 5:e PORTIA IN POLITICS Get to Brooklyn! j Ironically] Why, listen to this, boys: Queens Democratic by eight thousand! Ta, ra, rum, turn, turn, etc. PROGRESSIVE. [With a shade less confidence.] Fifth Assembly District of Brooklyn— Dix 4409 ; Stimpson 4799 ! Delighted !. . . Clinton, Columbia and Cortland, Franklin, Fulton and Hamilton, all Republican. [Using a tickler.] We beat you Democrats two to one up State — two to one, and don't you forget it, my friend, don't you forget it. DEMOCRATIC. [Watching the news ticker.] And Albany— Al- bany, Democratic too, upon my word! Well I declare! PROGRESSIVE. [Getting the figures together.] Stimson's plur- ality up State over 42,000 ! Not bad in such miserable weather — not at all bad; Three cheers for Stimson! Hip, hip, hurrah! [Doing some figuring of his own.] Dix — New York City plurality over sixty thousand! Strike up, boys, strike up!. . . [At this the reporters of the Democratic newspapers display their enthusiasm to the point of madness. From' respectable officers in the Metropolitan newspaper army of good columns and excellent lead- ers, they quickly turn into cowboys of the wildest wild west kind; hats are thrown in the air, and forgetful of their surroundings, they yell, stamp their feet and clap their hands. REPORTERS, Together. Ra, ra, ra ! Hip, hip, hurrah ! Three cheers for the conquering hero ! DEMOCRATIC. [Displaying a red, white and blue pencil, to A'hich he ties his handkerchief, the resourceful democratic reporter mounts the flat top desk, holding this symbol of victory high up in his right hand. His left foot touches the extreme left of the desk, his right slightly bent touches the extreme right, while the arm holding the flag is extended to its limits.] The victory is ours ! Ours is the victory ! Strike up, boys, strike up!. . . [Joined by the orchestra.] IND. DEMOCRAT. [Inspired by the leadership of his companion, the Independent instantly cuts up a large piece of the news ticker, the size of a large white ribbon, and mounting his chair [R] places it gallantly on Democrat's breast.] To a worthy member of the brotherhood who did so much and so well to capture the stronghold of the enemy — as a token of esteem and worth!. . . [Joined by the orchestra playing The Conquering Hero.] REPUBLICAN. [Also equal to the occasion, cutting up a narrow piece of tape of equal size from news ticker, he mounts the chair op- posite, repeating the inauguration with even greater ceremony.] Wear it with honor, worthy comrade, wear it with .honor ! You are the only person honored with such a decoration ! [Enter Portia.] ACT THREE 53 [The merrymaking stops abruptly, the reporters promptly dismount and the flag of victory is unhauled, dismembered and replaced to vari- ous pockets. The attitude of all but the Progressive reporter is that of school boys caught in the act of mischief making by their elders.] [The Democratic reporter ill at ease relieves himself of his decora- tions during the following scene, trying to hide them in his pockets, etc. — Bus.] PROGRESSIVE. [Pointing regretfully to his companions.] For- give them, Marchioness, for their rudeness and forgetfulness of sur- roundings, the victory was so unexpected that they have lost their heads completely. PORTIA. [Waving her hand. ] Let them celebrate. . .It matters little now when it is all over. The entire country, Democratic. [Dis- couraged.] There were as many brands of weather to-day as there were candidates; snow, rain, sleet and wind; anything but sunshine, and it costs us Republicans a great many votes in our strongholds, the rural districts. The impassable roads prevented many from exercising their lead pencils, [Horn tooting and merry making in the street below repeated.] [Rolling up into a ball one of Democrat's ribbons of honor and throwing it into the waste paper basket.] There is no denying the rain and snow of to-day have worked hand in hand with the Democratic party. [Picking up the second paper ribbon with which the Democratic reporter was decorated and tearing it into little bits as she talks.] The abstention of Republican voters in the country districts is the real cause of our defeat and not you [sneeringly] Democrats... [throwing the torn pieces into the waste paper backet.] [Disheartened.] The loss of New York is a decided blow. ..to re- form, I am truly sorry. DEMOCRATIC. [Jubiliant.] [Eyeing the black-board.] The Colonel announced that he would fight to the last [pause], well boys, this is the last ! . . . PORTIA. [Doing some quick figuring, and pointing to her slate.] Nonsense, a change of about 2 per cent, in the total vote would have elected Stimson. [Glad to see them sobered down.] The careers of Moses, Napoleon and the Colonel upon the world stage are widely differentiated, and their relative activities in the great drama of nations are widely apart yet it is interesting to note that in upholding the hands of the former, and checking the activities of the latter, providence has used the same means, viz: just a little water!. .. 54 PORTIA IN POLITICS PROGRESSIVE. Quite true, Moses might have shared the fate of Napoleon at Waterloo and the Colonel at the present election, if his calculation as to the high and low tide of the waters had by chance miscarried... And what's more, the Jews would probably award their discarded leader a less promising place than St. Helena. PORTIA. The Colonel beaten and aroused will do more for his people than the Colonel at the height of his glory. The rain is a de- feat which will spur him on to other victories, victories of the worth while kind. . . [Playfully.] And take it from me, boys you may depend upon it, he will not copy Moses in keeping his people in the wilderness for forty years waiting. DEMOCRATIC. [Consulting his watch. This promises to be a long wait, and my Editor is impatient. REPUBLICAN. [Meaningly.] No canned interviews nor advance copy this time [emphatically] every word has to be written between now and midnight. PORTIA. [Resting her eyes on the Democratic reporter.] If you promise to behave yourselves, you may stay and prepare your copy here. I am an old member of the fraternity, and my sympathies are yours, make yourselves at home. REPORTERS [Together.] A thousand thanks f You are very kind ! It's awfully good of you ! [Portia doing her own figuring and writing.] DEMOCRATIC. [Taking out notebook, writing and reading aloud — with sprightliness] : "The Colonel's candidate "Beaten to a Frazzle" — joined with aproving glances by the other friendly reporters] "From all over the land comes an emphatic denunciation, with the Empire State's voice the loudest of all." [Noises in the street repeated.] REPUBLICAN. [Reading aloud.] "Democrats make a clean sweep of the nation." "Congress Democratic too." "Democrats control the next house." "Not a crumb of comfort anywhere for the beaten Republicans." [Singing in the street below.] * IND. DEMOCRAT. [With liveliness.] The Republican party has gone to pieces and suffered a frightful defeat all along the line — Democrats sweep country; win Congress, many states; New York, New Jersey, Ohio, Massachusetts, Indiana and Connecticut carried. Not a Republican Congressman saved in New York County." [Horn blowing, etc., in the street.] ACT THREE ^^ PROGRESSIVE. [Heart broken but truthful to the last.] "Dix carries State; plurality 65,935. Remainder of Democratic ticket also elected." [Blowing his nose to suppress emotion.] "Republicans lose Legislature." It never occurred to me earlier m the evening that I will have to write all this. DEMOCRATIC. [Reading as he writes.] ''The Colonel's Congress- man among the missing. [Gaily] "Democrats will be in control of new Congress." "Democratic Governors elected everywhere. ' Latest returns of the Democratic success." [Noise in street as above.] IND. DEMOCRAT. [Placing himself in attitude.] I always thought there was some thing in mental suggestion, now I am sure of it. [Get- ting the boys around him.] You see throughout the States the Colonel told all the voters that he has no power but what they chose to give him of their own free will, and [boastfully] Pla, ha, ha... With our American craze for excitement and change [digging Democrat in the ribs] the people thought they will experiment and see. PORTIA. [Indignantly.] When the attention of Maximillien M. I. de Robespierre, conspicuous as the first man of France at that time, was called to the escort of the National Guards, and the thousands upon thousands of citizens who have turned out in his honor, anxious to hear his voice, or merely to look at him, he replied, "There will be as many again to see me hanged." But after 30 years of faithful public service, the Colonel had the right to regard the demonstration in his honor more seriously. [Reflectively.] Do you remember how you have pestered his life for "News" throughout Europe and upon his return home? He should have told you that big daily headlines about him when there was nothing to write about, would soon make it difficult for you to serve him when your service would really mean something to him and his cause. . , ixr 1 PROGRESSIVE. [Pointedly.] Ah, but it was tempting! We only had to print his name in the headlines and all the world was agape. PORTIA. [Disheartened.] It is the usual thing with our American enthusiasm. Like the burning straw on thick ice, it is very beautiful while it lasts, but it does not last long. [Noise in the street repeated.] In the calendar of time called the history of nations, it was but a moment ago, when at your own initiative, annihilating time and space and regardless of expense, you have all raecd to the other end of the world eager and anxious for every word of good tidings you coivld cable home to our American people of our greatest living hero. PROGRESSIVE. Here, here! 56 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. It was less than a moment ago in the calendar of time, when at breakneck speed, our ships raced to the extreme end of our harbor, displaying their flags of "Welcome Home" and "Delighted" to the, greatest living American. The Rough Riders and the rough writers were all in line and at hand, cheering, rejoicing and celebrating, the people lining the streets, thron§;ing the sidewalks, windows and roofs. [Coming up close to the reporters.] The Press [pointing] you, you, and you, all of you have written and printed new extras, every minute, twice! [Waving her hand.] There were no headlines large enough, nor columns long enough to express your high regard, and together with the twenty-one guns, you have fired a salute which has instantly re- echoed around the world. PROGRESSIVE. | Reflectively.] It was the greatest enthusiasm of the greatest nation, which it has ever been my good fortune to wit- ness. He was standing then before the whole world with the doors into the Hall of Fame wide open. PORTIA. [Pointedly.] He has taken the demonstrations in his be- half and his pledges to the American people seriously. He has thrown himself heart and soul, into the burning issues of the day, and this, this alone is the error which our combined financial and political interests could neither overlook nor pardon. PROGRESSIVE. Right, unvarnished, (but true ! PORTIA. I dont blame you 'for the headlines which you have just written, I know but too well that it is your jobs or the headlines. But don't be carried away to the extent of actually believing in them yourselves when you see them in print. [Embittered.] Emerson says; "Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of everyone of its members. For non-conformity the world whips you with its displeasure." And none are evidently excepted. "The sour faces of the multitude, like their sweet faces have no deep cause, disguise no god, but are put on and oflf as the wind blows, and our newspapers direct." DEMOCRATIC. [Jubiliant.] Don't excite yourself, Marchioness, the victory is unquestionably ours. PORTIA. Tell me, boys, how could you and your editors har- monize the present attitude with that of but a few months ago? ^^ REPUBLICAN. [Waving his hand.] It harmonizes perfectly, "with consistency a great man or a great newspaper have absolutely nothmg to do. One may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. We speak what we think to-day in words as hard as cannon balls, and to-morrow we speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words agam, although it may contradict everything we said to-day. ACT THREE • 57 PORTIA. [Knowingly.] At any rate the contradicting part of the argument is not disputed. . .The modern American newspaper is a dark lantern, throwing light in front and concealing the man who holds it. There is much truth and sound reasoning in your statement, but it would be more convincing if the people at large knew the names of all the stockholders, the predatory interests who own newspapers, the men who employ brilliant editors to assassinate the character of men who try to serve the public ; protecting their betrayers, shielding them- selves all the time behind a cloak of impenetrable darkness!. . . PROGRESSIVE. [Earnestly.] This is what I call hitting the nail on the head ! . . . Here in New York the press interests are concentrated and consolidated. They live on publicity. No individual has a home too sacred for the newspapers to investigate. No life can escape their scanning. Why not let the people know who owns them?. , . REPUBLICAN. This reform would probably have been introduced long ago were it not for the dummy directors of our corporations, behind whom the Law cannot penetrate and before whom the Investi- gating Committees are generally helpless. DEMOCRATIC [Cunningly.] The discovery that there is such a thing as a money power in America is not yours, nor the Colonel's. Every victory he has won in the past has been won with the assistance of that power. If ever he comes to the front again, it will be in co- operation with and not in opposition to the great money power and nearly all his former heads of departments are the faithful servants of that power. PORTIA. [Defiantly.] I disagree with you absolutely! But, by all means, print your headlines ! In the long run it is bound to do our cause nothing but good. You will never shake the confidence of his admirers, and the more his opponents will think that he is a man easy to beat, the less they will oppose us at a renomination. REPUBLICAN. In this country, power always did and always will pass from man to man ; here nothing is permanent but change. PORTIA. Here as everywhere else in nature and history, the law of the survival of the fittest is supreme! [Getting agitated.] Have we produced a greater living statesman? Emphatically.] No! Have we another living man who is as known the world over? Again the reply is, and must be — No! Well, then, the inevitable conclusion is that soon, very soon, you will find him as ever before, nay, more than ever before the centre figure; as ever before, We will be eagerly watching and waiting for his opinion. This one man is of more ac- count than all the politicians of the day. DEMOCRAT. [Protestingly.] Oh, no, we have completely an- nihilated this erratic and irresponsible force ! " [Noise in the street repeated.] 58 PORTIA IN POLITICS PORTIA. [Smiling broadly.] Completely annihilated?. . .Have the rain and tempest ever affected permanently the wing of the eagle? [Sternly.] Can the passing cloud affect seriously the shining of the sun? [Pause.] Well, then expect nothing more from your to-morrow's headlines. . .His international glory will not be dimmed by the present defeat. I have studied the political situation of the country, and have watched the political activities of this masterful man. It is not the first time that he has been the cause of his complete undoing. [Laughing.] It happened to him regularly; at least once a season dur- ing the past thirty years. . .but he always falls on his heels; just as a rubber ball, the harder it is hit, the higher it rebounds. The Colonel has always succeeded to mount a step higher on the ladder of activity and usefulness. He is a man of abundant vitality and unflinching courage. His personality is the one pivot around which American politics evolves. DEMOCRATIC. [Protestingly.] These are your opinions, not mine, the crowd outside is getting impatient for the glorious news. The Colonel's defeat gladdens the heart and is cause for general re- joicing. Sensation, sensation sensation — that's what we live on. REPUBLICAN. [Jubiliant.] Well, boys, I am off! He is not likely to return to-night; he has lapsed into a strenuous silence. Con- sider him gone. PORTIA. While the American nation lasts, the Colonel can never IND. DEMOCRAT. [Sarcastically.] The man whom the people would most gladly hear, to-day has lost his power of speech. PORTIA. [Reflectively.] His power of speech has not diminished, although I am afraid he may keep you cooling your heels for some- time before giving you new copy. [The reporters without further comment, advancing towards the door — assisting each other in putting on their overcoats, hats, etc.] DEMOCRATIC. [His arm on the Ind. Democratic reporter.] This is no time for the lamp of reason, but for the torchlight of unthinking enthusiasm, politics replacing manhood, muckraking the only brother- hood. [Enter Colonel.] [Hats are instantly removed — all resuming a respectful attitude, grouping around him. The Colonel, facing them, playing in turn with the right and* left sides of his watch chain.] PORTIA. [Encouragingly. Tennessee went Republican, Colonel, also Minnesota and New Hampshire, and we have an up-state plurality in New York of over forty-two thousand. COLONEL. [Displaying his teeth and retaining his composure.] It's of little consequence when my opponent gets a plurality of 100,- ACT THREE : ^^ 000 in the city. [To the others.] Pardon me, boys, for keeping you waiting, but at a time like the present, it is wiser to think twice before speaking. [Pause.] A chain of unforseen accidents governed this campaign, and we have lost. Naturally it spurns me on to greater and harder work for the future. PORTIA. [Her hand grasping that of the Colonel, in reverence and sympathy.] During the last fifty years, Americans concerned themselves with the accumulation of wealth, now we realize that the equitable distribution of wealth is the main thing needful. [Gesticulat- ing.] The civic conscience has been aroused, and it will condemn dis- honesty in every form and in every man high or low. The forces striving for social and economic betterment are certain to find an out- let. COLONEL. [Lifting both hands as an expression of extreme ex- citement.] The fight for progressive popular government has merely begun, and will certainly go on to a triumphant issue in spite of initial checks and irrespective of the personal success or failure of individuals. [Portia an,d Progressive applaud vigorously.] [Tapping his R knee with R hand ; an unmistakable atmosphere of intellect and worth about him.] I value this battle lost in the interest of progress, more than my previous public triumphs ! COLONEL [Bows, and moves towards door.] [Pausing in his walk, then turning around, facing the reporters.] An election has been lost, but I have had a good tifne anyway!... [Pause] From now on my hat is in the ring, and I am in the fight to stay. [He is applauded as he exits.] PROGRESSIVE. [Hopefully, admiring the departing figure of Colonel.] His bonnet is in the circle, that means that soon, very soon, there will be something doing, PORTIA. [Admiringly.] This man who is called hasty and unsafe has done more for the permanent peace of the world than all the diplomats of the day. He is the first American President who suc- ceeded in turning the operations of the national government from a dark professional secret to a matter of full-throated publicity and ruled your very newspapers from their front pages. Having almost albsolute power he has never abused it except on the side of righteousness. Like Lincoln he possesses incomparable moral courage and impeachable integrity [placing her self in attitude]. When the political dust of this overheated campaign settles, and the people are sobered down, you will see that he has lost nothing by speakirig out. "There is too much waste and too little efficiency in our national life. The waste in politics is worse than all, for it perpetuates all other wastes by blocking the road to better things." t)U PORTIA IN POLITICS This defeat will not drive him back, but on and on with higher re- solve and the democracy of the printing press will not go back upon its founder. Out of office the Colonel will prove himself to be even a greater public servant than in office. The first thing he will do will be to help tear down all the machinery which the politicians have built up be- ttveen the machines and the voters and bring the citizens and officials face to face. He will get the government as close to the people as possible, do away with conventions which are operated by the few and for the few, organized wealth buying political independence. REPUBLICAN. [Playfully.] You mean, he will try!... At no time in our history has the power of bosses been so strong, nor the baneful influence of amassed wealth so great, their bribes are large enough to make virtue pale. PORTIA. This is a radical age and at no time in recent history has the progressive movement secured the great influence of so strong a champion. He knows that in an aggressive movement, as in a revo- lution, those who go farthest are apt to fare best and he will not be afraid to speak out. When the underwriting syndicates for the next presidential candi- dates start their underwriting, before their candidates are offered to the general public he will surely be discounted as the nation's best asset. [Placing herself in attitude.] Mark my words, it's better, far bet- ter for the progressive movement to have lost the first battle and secured the leadership of this masterful man than to win the first battle under inadequate leadership and lose it afterwards for good and all. In all recent revolutions, the prospects were great, but the final results mighty small. [Noticing that the reporters expect her to be more explicit.] Take for example the recent Russian revolution, where blood like water flooded the streets of the capitals under inadequate leadership. [Wav- ing her hands.] What are the net results to the masses of the nation to-day? Nothing, worse than nothing in many respects. I tell you, my friends ,that such a leader as we have now secured for our forces is of more value to our cause than a victory. [Pointing with second finger.] Let this be entered by the future historian as the first real victory of the progressive movement in recent years. Give the Colonel time to pause. He will strike the bell with all his might and you will hear the metal ringing before the next National Convention comes around. [Placing herself in attitude.] Here and everywhere systematized privilege is at war with Democracy, and nothing but the highest kind of ACT THREE 61 systematized leadership will ever accomplish anything for the struggl- ing classes. REPUBLICAN. [Reflectively.] When the next convention comes, our reactionary and financial interests will fight you hard and high and will beat you. If you lose, and they will see to it that you do lose, well, they will have accomplished their purpose ! . . . PORTIA. Not so fast, my friend. ..under adequate leadership, if we fail at the Convention, we will refuse to be bound any longer by the shackles of the past, and will refuse to obey the party lash! We will appeal to all radical elements of all parties to unite, to do away forever with 'Sectionalism — making a square break with both reactionary machines. The country is bowed down by the shame and misdeeds of those in powder in both parties, men who should be its pride, the crooks of destiny who have thrown the crown of American manhood into the mire of monopolistic debauchery. It is this corrupt billions piled up like mountains that are matched igainst the lives of the people, man, women and children. Party loyUty is being used by a coterie of bosses to serve corrupt ends, and government by the few has become in fact government by the sordid interests that control the few. In their base hands, even the Constitution of the United States, instead of re- maining an instrument of Justice, is being ingeniously devised, ab- solutely to prevent justice and the square deal. "Through repeated betrayals, the power of the crooked political "bosses and of the privileged classes behind them is so strong in the "two old party organizations that no helpful movement in the real "interests of our country can come out of either." The time is ripe for concentrated united action to "strike in efficient fashion, not "merely pretend to strike — at the roots of privilege in the "world of industry no less than in the world of politics." — to repudiate the old leaders and change the old order for a new dispensation. "The time has come for a national progressive movement — a nation "wide movement — on non-sectional lines, so that the people may be served in sincerity and truth by an organization unfettered by obliga- "tion to conflicting interests." A party of to-day and the future, not a party that lives on traditions of the past. PROGRESSIVE. [Dreamily.] We will start with a clean slate... What a sweeping victory it will be if we win the Independent Demo- crats over! DEMOCRATIC [Harshly]. But you wouldn't. We are going to give you some fight and split the royalties on the fight films!. . . It is a long time since, as a party, we had a taste of the Presidency. INDEPENDENT DEMOCRAT. We will adopt the most progres- sive platform ever presented to the country ; speaking out plainly and 63 PORTIA IN POLITICS strongly on every, important question. Our presidential candidate will be a man who will inspire confidence among the men of all parties and whose fighting qualities have been tested. We will oppose the princi- pal of private monopoly in no uncertain words and make a record for progressiveness. [Smiling broadly.] As to purging political par- ties of the corrupt elements., it will probably be reached in God's own time, but during our lifetime self-interest will always predominate. REPUBLICAN. Have you ever seen a new house which was en- tirely free from insects?. . . DEMOCRATIC. Have you ever read a political party platform when you did not feel that the fog horns should b^ blowing? You are an Idealist, my friend, while we are practical players at the game, we will stop at nothing to bur>' grievances and present a united party. Again, your hero will find it extremely difficult to reconcile his trust backing, and enormous campaign expenditures with his pious preten- tions. PORTIA. [Playfully.] All the same, I hope to see you defeated at the polls in November of* 1912. The Progressive movement con- sists of millions of thoughtful citizens, drawn together by common principles, which will permit of no compromise with special interests. It has a great force behind it, and a great fighting man to lead it. Ours will be a party of the present and future, not of the past — ^the young heart of 'humanity beating through the ages. We will redeem demo- cracy, and restore the government to the people [nudging him]. It will not be our fault if. by that time, you are not in the small potato class. INDEPENDENT DEMOCRAT. It is not the custom of Ameri- cans to entrust the government of the country to a new party on its first appearance. As to your leader, it is an open secret that some of the greatest protectors of crooked business and crooked politics in the history of this country have graduated direct from his own former cabinet. PORTIA. [Her hand on his shoulder.] My friend, would you judge the twelve apostles by Judas Iscariot? DEMOCRATIC. The American people are not likely to place a new lease of power into the hands of the hottest headed men who have ever undertaken the guidance of a republic. [Bowing low.] On the political stage, I am your biterest enemy — outside of politics, I am and always will be your devoted admirer — your slave, and in your power. Don't ask me to do anything for you, for if you do, T am sure to do whatever you ask, and get myself into trouble. PORTIA. [Her hand on his shoulder.] How delightful, how gal- lant. This is real Twentieth Century chivalry !... [Nudging him.]. I do ask for yotir help, even at the risk of getting into trouble. What if ACT THREE ^o you do get into difficulty with your party and your editor? A man's real value to the world can be measured by the amount of the struggle and personal disadvantages he encountered, and his public usefulness generally begins where selfishness ends. [Enter ^^iaurice.] [Her hands widely extended.] Come, give me your hands and join our cause, onward, onward together for the union of all who love in the service of all who suffer. [Her hands on the reporters' shoul- ders both sides of her.] Let us rise above the surrounding iniquities and a'bominations. for the new birth of freedom. The time has come, the»day is at hand. [Her eyes full of life and fire, the entire body radiating determina- tion and force.] "Ring out the old, ring in the new. Ring out the false, ring in the true." From now on, let this be our watchword : PROGRESSIVES OF ALE PARTIES, UNITE^uniie in sin- cerity and truth, on .new lines and under adequate leadership. [The reporters form a circle around her clasping hands.] MAURICE. [Excitedly, waving his hand to quiet them down.] Your advice my dear is good, but it is old, very old, as old indeed as ze prophets demselves and as hopeless in our time as it was den.. . . [Gesticulating in his peculiar way.] Ze working class wants to own ze tools, zey work wid and in (lis way secure for demselves all ze profits, all ze wealth zey produce . . . ze capitalist class is organized politically and economically to perpetuate itself as ze ruling class and keep ze order in subordination. . .Each ridicules ze views of ze oder as to de ownership of de sources and the means of wealth. Der is a chasm between dem which will be bridged over some day, my dear, not wid ballots, but bullets; oui, oui, my dear bullets and plenty of dem!. . . PORTIA. [Placing her R hand on Maurice's shoulder and quieting him down.] My dear, excitable, rebellious Maurice. We do not pro- pose to deliver the kingdom of a political heaven by return mail after the ballot in our favor is cast, nor to solve by the mere pressing of a button all the burning issues and problems of the day, but merely to climb a step higher on the ladder of social usefulness and regeneration. In union there is strength and at no other, time in American history was there a greater oportunity for a new party, catering to the greatest good of the greatest number, a party boss-ridden and nation-wide, a party of the people, by the people, and for the people, far from pre- judice or favor of what is or has been. . . PROGRESSIVE. [Applauding vigorously.] Right you are: fine; splendid, bully ! 64 PORTIA IN POUT 015 905 333 ■g" DEMOCRATIC. [Sneeringly.j You will find the following of your new party largely composed of disappointed office seekers and their followers, political vagrants and riff raff, all of them. REPUBLICAN. [Pointing to Maurice.] The Marquis is perfectly right; a new party could no longer be a friend of both sides of capital and labor alike, than you could hitch together two horses running in oposite directions. IND. DEMOCRAT. [To Portia, cordially.] I admire the excellent qualities of your observations, but admiration does not mean affiliation. I tell you the political winds are blowing a black huricane towards democracy. MAURICE. [Playfully petting her.] Dere is never a rush my dear, to get aboard a new ship before its stability is assured and exact des- tination^ known particularly tvhen dere are so many oder regular liners fiying de "Homeward bound" [gesticulating] and wid crews and officers enthusiastic. Dey will call it the chaff of Socialism, the un- certain by-ways of emotional morality. [Gesticulating.] A crazy-quilt platform!. . . PORTIA. [Taking out handkerchief from Maurice's upper coat pocket, wiping the perspiration off her hands, then returning hand- kerchief to its former position emphatically.] Let them. Our cause is right, and our party will soon enshrine itself in the nation's heart haloed with its devotion, love and respect as a party seeking modern methods for modern people, believing in sincerety, honesty and sim- plicity in government affairs. As a party, standing for the preserva- tion of good and elimination of evil wherever they exist, being explicit • and direct on what it proposes to do, whose keynote will be service to mankind and love of country its burning fire. [Slaping Maurice on the back, then facing reporters.] [Bus.] We realize that we have a hard fight ahead of us, but the harder the fight the sweeter will be our victory. [Reporters deeply impressed, come forward shaking hands and bowing respectfully as they exit.] PROGRESSIVE. [As he exits.] Good luck to our prospective political baby ! [The three others together, shouting as they exit.] GOOD LUCKr * * * * -**** + * Convincing Iierself that they are alone, and thoroughly exhausted from the strain of the evening, Portia buries her head on her husband's chest, her hands on his shoulders, as the curtain slowly falls. / "015 905 339 8 ^j HoUinger Corp. pH 8.5