il MijI'il i ' i /iniMlj ' i iilii r i rifl'h rl . hliiill i ii li f .i i i| r nnVd i rt i il l i r LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, 'VSf6'79 ©1^ dcj^ujiiijlli !f 0. Shelf".. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Cy"' ..0 PEDANTIC VERSICLES i/ ISAAC FLAGG 3.-®iC BOSTON PUBLISHED BY GINN, HEATH, & CO. 1 88.^. 7S ini Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year i88j, by ISAAC FLAGG, In tlie Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Waslungiou. J. S. Gushing & Co., Printers, Boston. CONTENTS PAGE Versicles 3 Paraphrases 23 Hylethen . , 49 Songs of Eros 59 Symposium Metricum ........ 77 VERSICLES Ha ! — ^/lerc V a double meaning in that. Shakespeare. TO A REVOLVING BOOKCASE. TIJ^RIEND of mc bookworm, more than double- faced, — Thereby above duplicity, — whose four Broadsides sahite me, offering each a score (Handy at this perusing elbow placed, To serve, by turns, its indolence or haste) Of tomes replete with my peculiar lore : Not thy ingenuousness concerns me more, — Beholding thus the phases of my taste Successively revealed — grammar awhile, Then sentiment (alas ! not less profound), And so forth ; — no regards of mood or style Outweigh a problem I would fain propound To men of cipher, — how much, by the mile. Thou savest me a year, in going round ! Versicles. TO AN OIL-STOVE. Now Heaven assist me to amass Thy attributes beneath one name, Imp of the evil eyes in glass, Gleaming with doubly wicked flame Thou, though of base metallic birth, And fed with watery fuel, won From the cold breast of mother earth. Dost warm me like some little sun. Such thy vile origin, no doubt To be blown up I well avoid, As I proceed to blow thee out, Tinny petroleasteroid ! Vcrsiclcs. 7 TO A STAINED-GLASS WINDOW. Soft-blinking transom, from a crude outdoors Letting a dim, if not religious, ray In on the cultured drone — yet who, that sees Through thy desigUj much-pitted board, could doubt Its holiness ? Ah no ! there is a whole Gospel of sweetness, mazy polychrome, In those weird conic sections, jigsaw-limned, And secondary colors (all of prime Importance to aesthetic nerves), ranged not With stale, Philistine symmetry of pattern, To pall on the cloyed sense. What meant the churl Who glazed thee and confined thee in the socket. When, in thin tones, with grin heretical, He asked me if I 'd have it upside-down, Or downside-up .-* Blind scoffer, he shall have His labor for his panes — a putty man, To chaffer lewdly with a child of light ! 8 Versifies. ULYSSES' WINE. {Abroad.) Cyclops, here 's wine ; prithee wash down the sickening Meal of man's flesh behind that ruthless jaw. See what' a drink I boast; an find'st it quickening, Grant I sail home, and not descend thy maw. Man, that is wine ! — scarce from Cyclopean presses Flowed the rich nectar each immortal sips, — Warm as far Phoebus' ray the glebe caresses, — Sweet as a kiss from Cytherea's lips ! Fill here again : marry, I bear no malice Toward the fair pourer ; tell thy wretched name. — Now, by my eye, great Bacchus tipped that chalice ! — Zounds ! and my namesakes touched it with their flame ! Vcrsiclcs. 9 Noman ? More, more ! — Last, but not least, I guzzle No-man ! — Heigh ho, my head ! Pluck off this wreath ! Weighs I'k' old bristly Etna ; w' 're 'av'n' a tussle ; • H-he 's on t'-top, 'nd I 'm-m-m-underneath. ^ O .ri lO Versiclcs. CALYPSO'S WHINE. {Strophe.^ Strange mortal, whom Poseidon Of troubles turned high tide on, Because Kyklops, one fine dawn, Woke up and found his eye gone : Why can't you stay witji me more? Not, moping by the seashore, Tears for Penelope pour ? You 're certainly a new man, To set an earthly woman Above a super-human ! You stick to one as few can. I don't know what I had done. If fate had made me that one. And, if before 't was sad fun. This almost makes me mad run. It tears my very tissues, To cut from hopes of bliss loose. And let you go on this cruise ! O, what a tyrant is Zeus — How might I, might I bis choose ! O, terrible odd issues, Odysseus ! Vers if Its. (^Aniist raphe.) Goddess, — if it beseem us To speak of that extreme muss We had with Polyphemus, I 'd rather hear the knave yell, From now till half his cave fell, Than in this living grave dwell. Dubbed of the sea the navel. If any country, save Hell (You know I had to brave Hell), Will let a man behave well, I think I 'd better go there, And not be hid in nowhere By sweethearts, never so fair. And now, unless a low snare Is laid by Zeus, I do swear (You needn't bite your lip so), I shan't propel that ship slow ! Slip, slap — my heart and ribs go, Tears on excursion-trips flow. In spite of memet ipso, To get apo-calypse, O Kalypso ! II 1 2 Vcrsicles. CIRCE'S SWINE. {Porcellian Chorus.) Circe, Circe, Circe ! Thirst we, thirst we ! First me ! First me ! First me ! Circe feed me, Circe heed me ; Circe, white Circe, Circe seated there. Folded hands, flowing hair : Of that wand behind thee Is no want to bind me ; Who could, who could fly From the sty in Circe's eye ? Not I ! Not I ! Harming charmer, sorceress ; "Charming harmer, not the less : Who wins of Circe's wine, Is won of Circe's wine ! Wins a curse he, what the worse he ? What the worse, worse we, Versi, versi, vej'sif Mercy, mercy ! Circe, Circe, Circe ! Versiclcs. 13 ULYSSES' WINE. {^At home.) High-flickering fagots streaked the walls Of lost Ulysses' shadowy halls. Late sprawling at his regal board, Revelled the suitors' noisy horde. They gorged his cuts of beeves and swine, They crunched his bread, they gulped his wine. Liodes, deemed of bad the best ; Antinous, Polybus, and the rest. The aged bard who praised his house They made rehearse to their carouse. His costly fare they spilled and spurned ; No morsel to the gods they burned. They tossed his cups with scoff and leer. They pulled his maids who brought the cheer. They threw their thoughts where lay his bride, And vowed right soon to clasp her side. 14 Versiclcs. With belch and shout, in ribald jest, Oft thus the one the other addressed : ' Mine host, boys, seems inclined to stay ; Let 's hope him back by judgment-day!' ' Ay, that 's when madam means to stop, And let this weaving-business drop ! ' ' O, curse her! — she's a pretty thing, To keep us waiting for a string ! ' 'That web, ha ha! for grandpa's shroud: Big enough soon to cover a crowd ! ' ' Let her hang off ; we 're like to thrive, At this rate, till our turn arrive ! ' ' Enough said, and here 's to three in one : The drowned father, grandfather, and the son ! ' ' All in one boat, and that upset : We '11 have the lad with his governor yet!' ' Tune up that turtle-shell, old boy ; Give us the taking-doivn of Troy !' Vers ides. 15 ' How now, my filly ? — not quite so cross ! Don't prance away from the wooden horse ! ' ' What 's that, daddy Catgut, to spice a spree ? Give us a Hymen Hymenee ! ' ' Pe/etis and TJiet!' ' TJieseus and Ary ! ' Give us tJie widozv ivJio never ivonld marry ! ' 'That 's what 's the matter! — come down here Pen!' 'And show yourself to the gentlemen!' ' All down the centre ! ' ' Every couple go in ! ' ' Gee out ! ' ' Who said so ? ' ' Mind your taps ! ' ' Who threw that mug ? ' ' No, that 's too thin ! ' ' Get off ! ' ' Not much ! ' 'We '11 see '— ' Per-haps ! ' ' Give us the Centaurs and the Laps ! ' ' Take off his shoes ! ' ' You can't spell able ! ' ' Is this a window ? ' 'Is this the floor ? ' ' Give us the Calydo7iian boar ! ' ' Who 's he ? ' ' What made her ? ' ' Hold up that table ! ' 1 6 Vers teles. 'Just so!' 'All night!' 'Bring me one more!' ' He 's coming ! ' ' How many ? ' ' Who keeps this stable ? ' ' Don't shoot ! ' ' Can't swim ! ' ' What 's got me, boys ? ' ' Who doused — that glim ? ' ' Where 's all that — noise ? ' Veisicles. \ y CABALLATION. Exclaimed a fractious steed one day i You say, Be hitched, but I say — Nay ! Hold out that corn, if you see fit ; But mind now, I don't take — a bit ! Touching those things we might term gallers, Old man, I can receive no — callers. In fact, you 'd best give over reaching That buggy, lest I stave a — breach in. And cast, of straps if I find traces. Your lines in quite unpleasant places ! Old horse, quoth man, this may be so ; But you '11 be hitched, for ivJicel or whoa ! And first, — while home the whaling went, — Will you take that as punnish meant ? ? Vcrsicles. EPILOGUE. Reader, who standeth under jokes, — To waste no word on tipsy folks, Who feel their conscious knees dissolving Before a bookcase stops revolving ; — But ye who steered erect and slow 'Twixt versicles and vertigo. That is (and no schoolmaster's squib this). Steady 'twixt Scylla and Charybdis : — Ye boys and girls who know what fun comes From Greek and Latin and conundrums : Who counts me, for professors' wages, The precious puns in these few pages ? No escapade escape your eyes, Italic set or otherwise. And proper forfeiture be paid For sally found where none was made. Hand in a full classification (Missing no hit at derivation) : Vei'sicles. 19 How many sing-, how many double, How many trip-, how many trouble ; The hard, the soft, the gay, the sad ones, And — now be careful, girls! — the bad ones. Be careful too (beware the dog !) And glean out well the epilogue. That lad or lass shall be my pride, who Knows better what I do than I do. 20 Versicles. EPIGRAMS. Dear boys, precociously inclined To teach your tutors their remissness : That student busies best his mind, Who studies most to mind his business. Which tougher builds the student bone, Platonic Greek, or mathematics i* — Antics of quantities unknown, Or quandaries of knowing Attics .'' Strive on indifferent, charming girl, to seem ! That moves me not in different wise to dream : Though your indifference were in me amiss, Here 's room for hope — in difference such as this. Versicles. 2 1 What dolts as partners of their lives Fine women take ! has oft been said : These might rejoin, What frights of wives Wise men are satisfied to wed ! Not rhyme, but reason genius shows ! — Brays many a bungler, in his season ; Then prints — what was not meant for prose, But leaves the world to guess the reason. Who slights that tongue yclept the mother, Shall win no favors from another. PARAPHRASES YleXoTTouvaaicrTl \aXev/ii6