I Mr. 3C 
 
 11 4 I T<>rapermif« Doetflr, • - ly 
 
 
 NO. CCXXXVI. 
 
 FRENCH S STANDARD DRAMA. 
 
 PR 4161 
 .B2 VI4 
 Copy 1 
 
 C^e feting 6bition. 
 
 jilSx JEND 
 
 OK, 
 
 THE IRISH HEIRESS. 
 
 % Comeirg, in Jfibe ^cts. 
 
 BY 
 
 ION BOURCICAULT, ESQ 
 
 TO WHICH AKK AUDKU 
 
 A I^ription of the Costume— Cast of the Cinracters -Eiitruaces and Exit* — 
 
 Relative Positions of the Performers on the S^ge, and 
 
 the whole of the Stage Business. 
 
 KOW PERFORMED AT THE PRINOIPAJL ENGUSH 
 AND AMERICAN THEATRES. 
 
 NEW YORK : 
 
 i^muel French &. Son, ., 
 
 ri'BLISHEBS, 
 
 Sast 14th St.; Usloa SqiiacOi 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 Samuel French, 
 
 FVBIilSHEK, 
 
 8e STRAND. 
 
 I'S vJClT^E; or, Hovrto Uet ud Home Thea'riCiils and to Actinthem. with Ruies, By*, 
 ted Scenes, Plays aud other uaefu^intoruiatioulor Am»i.eur oooieties. Prtco S30 uttt> 
 
 \ty nn.k rt.iii.-i ^^•%\ k i^\-*^ *r .....a. . iim ikr.'. a-cw^iv^i t K. .»..«.*. 
 
 \5 
 
IPSS" 
 
 I FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAM/ 
 
 '' > Price 15 Cents each.— Botmd Voliizixes $1. 26. 
 
 ▼oiu I. 
 
 J Ion 
 
 ; I The [.aiily of l^j^nM 
 
 ' i EichftUaa 
 4 The Wife 
 iTbe HuQ«jQ>ooo 
 * The Souool for Aev^AaX 
 
 VOL. II. 
 » The Sthvuger 
 
 10 GriLndfkther Wbivbead 
 
 11 Blebjkrd III 
 
 i3 Love's Saeriflee 
 
 15 Thb Oftmeater 
 
 \4 A Cure fur t^e HekrUMbe 
 
 16 The BanuMbwk 
 
 (• I>oP> Csenar de Buan 
 
 VO»^ HI. 
 iT Th^ Poor aenUeman 
 IS Hamlet 
 19 Charles II 
 10 V».»tce Pr«»erT«<i 
 21 PUarro 
 23 The Love Chase 
 <3 Othello 
 ii Lead me Fi<« ShUUngf 
 
 VOL. IV. 
 1( Vlr«(lnlu8 
 
 ;S Klni( -i)f the Commona 
 il Loadoo Aaaurauoa 
 2S The Rent Day 
 i* Two Oe»>tien»eD«fVe»«j»» 
 10 The Jea(oua ^\tm 
 tl Tne RiTols 
 
 13 ferfectiofl 
 
 V06. V. (Prt's 
 «S A New W»» to >*ay >lrt 
 U Look Hefore Toa Leap 
 15 King John 
 (6 Mt^rrout Maa 
 *7 t)*mou apcl r7»H»s 
 4S Claud^suv^ \i''irfiaga 
 »9 WiUJ»in ftd 
 M Oa* attnr the Woddiog 
 
 VOL. Ki. 
 41 ppeed tbe i'k'tgh 
 
 12 Rome J an<< 17111181 
 *3 Feudal T>»>«v« 
 
 U Ohk-^les *he Twelfth 
 i6 Th«« Brid*' 
 <« T»>'^ Fo'lJes of a Night 
 iT UoBV-ysii.x IPatr \.»dy 
 4* Faiut Heart VartMr Wuu 
 
 vo»' ni. 
 
 «# B<M^ to Kute 
 
 M> W»4o«th 
 
 M Tvmper 
 
 (3 STadna 
 
 U Benram 
 
 U Tha Oue»nA 
 
 (6 Woah A.d« A)>*at Hothlng 
 
 M Tha Cnua 
 
 VO'L vin, 
 \1 Thf Apoxtate 
 V Fwalfth Alight 
 \% BmtTu 
 40 Sianctaon ft Co 
 SI Me'ahaotof Vaai*« 
 •3 01<i He«kAs& Touog^earU 
 SS Ub4Qi».Qaers lr>»^<t 
 
 StXhrca W^eeks afta^' Mar- 
 
 VOL. IX. 
 «5ta»a 
 
 66 A* "on Like Tt 
 
 67 Tae iCIder Bratiter 
 4» Weruer 
 
 69 Glsippus 
 
 TO Towo and Oauntxj 
 
 tl Clog Lear 
 
 73 Blue Devila 
 
 VOL. X. 
 78 Henry VIIT 
 
 14 Married and Blagla 
 
 T5 Kenry IV ^ 
 
 76 Paul Pry ^ 
 
 77 Gay Mannerlnii; 
 
 78 S»»eetbeartt a>. Wlvea 
 
 •0 She 8*oops to Oooquer 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 81 Julius Oxsar 
 S3 Vicar or W akeflald 
 
 83 Leap Tear 
 
 84 The Catspaw 
 
 85 The Passiag Cloud 
 
 86 Drunkard 
 
 87 Rod Roy 
 S8 Oeorge Barnwell 
 
 VOL. XII. 
 89 Tneomar 
 M) Sketches in India 
 )t\ Two /rieajt 
 93 Jane Shore 
 
 93 Corsioan Brother* 
 
 94 Mind your own Business 
 9.'> Writing or uie WaU 
 
 96 Heir at Law 
 
 VOL. xin. 
 
 97 Soldier s daughter 
 93 Douglas 
 99 Uarco Spada 
 
 .100 Vature's Nobleman 
 
 101 Sardanapalua 
 
 102 Civilization 
 
 103 The Robbers 
 
 104 Katharine and Petruehio 
 
 VOL. XIV. 
 103 Game of Love 
 
 106 Midsummer Night's 
 
 107 Braestina [Dream 
 
 108 Riig Picker of Paris 
 
 109 H'lying Dutchman 
 
 110 Hypocrite 
 
 111 Thgrese 
 113 Lirrour de Nesle 
 
 VOL. XV. 
 
 113 Ireland As It Is 
 
 114 lea of Ice 
 na Seven Clerks 
 116 Osme of Life 
 117. Forty Thieves 
 
 118 Brrau Ror-ihmb 
 
 119 Romance aud Reality 
 1:^ UgoUno 
 
 VOL. XVL 
 
 121 The Tempest 
 
 122 The Pilot 
 
 123 Carpenter of Rouen 
 lz4 King B Rival 
 125 Little Treasure 
 
 120 Dombey and Sou 
 l'.^7 Parents aud Uuardlans 
 138 Jewess 
 
 VOIuXVII 
 
 129 Camille 
 
 130 Married Life 
 
 131 Wenlock of Wenlock 
 
 132 Rose of Ettrickvale 
 
 133 David Co^perlleld 
 
 134 Aline, or thu Rose of 
 1.35 Pauliue IKillaruey 
 
 136 Jane Eyre 
 
 VOL. XVTTI. 
 
 137 Night Slid Morning 
 
 138 ^thiop 
 
 139 Three Ouardsmen 
 
 140 Tom Cringle 
 
 141 Henriette, the Forsaken 
 
 143 Eustaebe Baudin 
 14J Ernest .vialtravera 
 
 144 Bold Dragoons 
 
 VOL. XIX. 
 ?45 Dred, or tha DUmal 
 
 I .Swamp 
 
 146 iA\*X Days of Pompeii 
 
 147 fameral'da 
 144 Pet«,r Wilkins 
 
 149 Ben (he Boatswain 
 
 150 Jonavhan Bradford 
 
 151 Retribution 
 
 152 Uinerali 
 
 VOL. XX. 
 
 153 French Spy 
 1j4 Wept of Wish-ton Wish 
 
 155 Kvil Genius 
 
 156 Ben Bolt 
 
 157 Sailor of Franee 
 
 158 Red Mask 
 
 159 Life ef an Actress 
 
 160 Wedding Day 
 
 VOL. XXI. 
 
 161 All's Fair in Lot* 
 
 162 Hofer 
 
 163 Self 
 
 164 Cinderella 
 16o Phantom 
 
 166 Franklin [Uoaoow 
 
 167 The Oonmaker of 
 
 165 The Lore of a rrlnea 
 
 VOL. xxn. 
 
 169 Son of the Night 
 
 170 Rory O'Mora 
 
 171 Golden Eagle 
 
 172 Rlensi 
 
 173 Broken Sword 
 
 174 Rip Van Winkl* 
 
 175 (sabeUa 
 
 176 Heart of Mid Lothian 
 VOL. XXIII. 
 
 17T Aotrsss of Padua 
 
 178 Floating Beacon 
 
 179 Bride of Lamermoor 
 
 180 Cataract of the Ganges 
 
 181 Robber of the Rhine 
 183 School of Reform 
 
 183 Wanderini^ Boys 
 
 184 Maieppa 
 VOL. XXIV. 
 
 185 Young New York 
 
 186 The Victim* 
 
 187 Romance after Harriage 
 
 188 Brigand 
 »o9 Poor of New York 
 
 190 Ambrose Owinett 
 
 191 Raymond and Agnes 
 193 Gambler s Fate 
 
 VOL. XXV. 
 
 193 Father and Son 
 
 194 Mansaniello 
 
 195 Sixteen String Jack 
 
 196 Youthful Queen 
 
 197 Skeleton Witness 
 
 198 Innkeeprr of Abbeville 
 
 199 UlllerandhisMea 
 
 200 Aladdin 
 VOL. XXVI. 
 
 201 Adrienne the Actress 
 132 Undine 
 
 203 Jessie Brown 
 
 204 Asmodeus 
 /U5 tformons 
 
 206 Blanche of Brandrwine 
 
 207 Viola 
 
 208 Deseret Deserted 
 VOL. XvVII. 
 
 209 Americans In Paris 
 
 210 Victorine 
 311 W izard of the VTava 
 
 212 Castle Spectre 
 
 213 Horse-shoe ttobinson 
 
 214 Armand, Mrs Mpwatt 
 
 215 Fashion, Mrs Mowatt 
 ii6 Glai-3« at New York 
 
 VOL. XXVUI. 
 
 217 InconMant 
 
 218 Uncle Tom's Cabin 
 2i9 Guide to the Stage 
 
 220 Veteran 
 
 221 Miller of New Jersey 
 
 222 Dark Hour before Dawn 
 
 223 Hidsum'r Night s Dream 
 I Laura Keene s Edition 
 
 224 Art and Artifice 
 VOL. XXIX 
 
 225 Poor Young Man 
 
 226 Ossawattomie Brown 
 
 227 Pope of Rome 
 2S Oliver Twist 
 
 229 Pauvrette 
 
 230 Kan in the Iron Mask 
 
 231 Kni|$nt of Arva 
 ,i3? Moll Pitcher 
 
 VOL. XXX. 
 
 233 Black Eye<^ Susan 
 
 234 Satan in Paris 
 j35 Rosins Mea^'^^s [ess 
 236 W«>«* r^u, or Irish Heir- 
 217 Six Degrees of Crime 
 
 238 I'he Lady and the Devil 
 
 239 Avenger.or .Moorof hici- 
 40 .Viasks and Faces )ly 
 
 VOL. XXXI. 
 241 Merrv Wlveo of % 
 342 MarysBirthda; ; 
 
 243 Shandy Maguir«( 
 
 244 Wild Oats 
 
 245 Michael Erie 
 
 246 Idiot Witness 
 347 Willow Copse 
 243 People's F^awyer 
 
 VOL. XXXII, 
 
 349 The Boy Martyrs 
 
 350 Lucretia Borgia 
 251 Surgeon of Parfii 
 353 Patrician's Dau^1 
 353 Shoemaker of T( 
 254 Momentous Quv- 
 353 Lore and Loyalty 
 356 Bobber's Wife 
 
 VOL. X' 
 
 257 Dumb O 
 
 258 Wreck . 
 
 259 Clc 
 360 B 
 
 261 ■ . 
 
 262 Madei__ \ 
 
 263 The i^lrer ' 
 364 Grl^i .u . 
 
 VOL 
 
 265 Two Lf 
 
 266 AnL ., X. Ij 
 '2H7 Steward I 
 
 268 Captain Ky(V I 
 
 269 Nick of tb- 1 
 
 270 Marble H 
 
 271 Sec one ' 
 273 Dree 
 
 273 Bret. 
 
 274 Revie 
 27o Lady o. 
 
 276 .«"M1 Wat 
 
 277 The So 
 ■278 Helpii.. 
 
 279 Faust and ^i> 
 
 280 L»'t »tan 
 
 281 Belle's 
 '282 Old anu 
 
 283 RaffaeP 
 
 284 Ruth ' 
 
 285 British .a • 
 2Sfi A Life's :| 
 ■287 Giralda ! 
 383 Time Tri • 
 
 VOL. 
 
 289 Ella Trsr 
 
 290 Wa 
 
 291 Zeh. 
 
 292 Bea 
 
 293 Nei( 
 
 294 Wo 
 ■295 Kobei 
 
 396 Green Bust . 
 VO:.. XXX 
 -297 Flowers of t' 
 298 A Bacbe'or c 
 •299 The .Miduigh- 
 
 300 Husband of 
 
 301 Loveo ' 
 
 302 Naiad 
 
 303 Caprice 
 3U4 Cradle . 
 
 VOL. X.. 
 
 305 The Lost Shij. 
 
 306 Country Squii 
 
 307 Fraud and its 
 
 308 Putnam 
 
 309 King and Deat 
 
 310 La Fiammiiia 
 
 311 A Hard Stiug 
 
 312 Gwinnette Va. 
 VOL. XI. 
 
 313 The Love Ku : 
 
 314 Lavater, or 
 .'15 The Nob'iHei 
 3i6 Coriolauus 
 
 317 Th'' "Vinter'jl 
 
 318 "^ .en W'^- 
 
 319 Ivanhoe 
 
 320 Jonathan ' 
 
 (Catalogue contiiw^fi on third page <>/ cover.) 
 
EST END; 
 
 OR, 
 
 TIE IRISH HEIRESS 
 
 g. dLonubn. — 1« Jibegids. 
 
 BY 
 
 prON L. BOURCICAULT, Esq., 
 
 Mon Assurance," "The Phantom," "Jessie Brown," "Old tie«4* 
 noting Hearts," " Andy Blake," "Pauline," " The Octoroon," 
 " Colleen Bawn," " Lover by Proxy," 
 "The Willow Copse'" 
 etc. etc. 
 
 A Dm 
 
 Casts, Costumes, and all the Staje Business, as rnatked 
 J. B. Wright, Stage Manager of the Holiday Street 
 Theatre, Baltimore^ 
 
 NEW YORK • LONDON . 
 
 Samuel French &. Son, Samuel French, 
 
 PUDLISnERS, j runLisiiER, 
 
 io. 132 Nassau Street. I so ST-RAJ1STT>. 
 
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 EST. OF J H. CORNING 
 JUNE 20. 1940 
 
WEST END. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 A MAYFAIR MENAGE, OE BACHELORS AT HOME. 
 
 A Dressing-room in Earl of Stanmore's House, in Park-street. — 
 Breakfast is laid c. — The furniture, ^c, of the apartment betoken 
 elegance, taste, and ease, without being rich. — Two easy chairs 
 on either side of table, covered with flower chintz. — Postman^s 
 knock heard, l. k. 
 
 SOFA. 
 
 CHEVAL GLASS. 
 ESSIXO TABLE. 
 
 DOORS. 
 
 SOFA. 
 
 '1^ 
 
 a 3 
 
 EASY CHAIR. 
 
 BREAKFAST TABLE. 
 
 
 
 KASr CHAIB. 
 
 y^ BOOT RACK AND BOOTS. 
 
 BELL ROPE. 
 R. H. 1 E. 
 
 L. H. 1 B. 
 
 Enter Lenoir, ivith letters on a salver, d. l. h. 
 
 Lenoir {seating himself ) . Lord Stanmore n'est pas encore get ups ! 
 Half past ten ! Oh, mais ! but I wish I was again in France. I 
 always dream of Paris ; and when I wake, diable ! I find myself in dis 
 miserable London. I nevair see place so sans sentiment, point de 
 morale. I love de morale ! Par example, milor owe me twelve years' 
 vages ; still I remain his valet, — voila le sentiment. lie never con- 
 
4 WEST END ; OR, [ACT 
 
 sidei' how I am to live ; and it is as much as I never can do to make 
 an honest livelihood out of the loose change he leave in his pockets, — 
 voila la morale ! — n'iraporte, — virtue is its own reward. I nevair 
 complain. Oui, honesty is de bess politics ! 
 
 Enter Earl Stanmore, c. d. — Lenoir arranges lahUy ^-c, and 
 offers newspapers. 
 
 Bon jour, monsieur. 
 
 Sianmore. Any letters? {Yawning) Aw — aw — 
 
 Le. Three, monsieur. 
 
 Stan, {sitting down to breakfast). Read them. 
 
 Le. {ojyens one, and reads). " Sir, I have called several times on 
 you " — 
 
 Stan. Ah ! I know what's coming. 
 
 Le. {reading). " Without receiving the amount of my small 
 nil" — 
 
 Stan. Tradesmen were created for our sins ! 
 
 Le. {reading). *^ Having a large sum. to make up by next " — 
 
 Stan. That will do. — Go on with the next. Stay; who is that 
 from ? 
 
 Le. Kersey & Seame, your lordship's tailors. 
 
 Stan. It would appear they had called before. 
 
 Le. Oh, oui, — twenty times. Now that I begin to know their 
 knocks, 1 nevair answer them. 
 
 Stan. And pi'ay, sir, why were they not shown up? Do you wish 
 io ruin my reputation? 
 
 Le. " Shown up ! " I^t I thought milor had no — money. 
 
 Stan. "What has that to do with it? Lenoir, Lenoir, I fear you 
 are getting into low habits. Are you so ignorant of your duty and 
 my respectability as to permit any tradesmen to leave my door unsatis- 
 Jied ? Have all my lessons been thrown away upon you ? 
 
 Le. Pardon, milor ; but I — 
 
 Stan. Listen, sir, and remember. "Whenever you owe a debt, never 
 shirk your creditor ; — seek, rather than shun him. Entreat, nay, 
 command him to send in his account. He won't ; then go and abuse 
 him for his negligence ; — say you never run bills, &c. &c. "When he 
 discovers all this (which in time he will), and you have good grounds 
 to suppose that he intends to present his bill — cork him with a large 
 order. Now you may go on with the next. 
 
 Le. "What beautiful natural philosophy ! I shall cork my tailor. 
 
 Stan. I 've made man, in his creditorial capacity, a careful study. 
 Proceed. 
 
 Le. I am a child in the hands of milor. {Opens another letter, 
 and reads) '■^ My dearest William'* — 
 
 Stan, {starting up). Prom Kate ! "What can she mean by thus 
 annoying me? 
 
 Le. She has too much sentiment, and too little moralite. 
 
 Stan, {taking letter, and reading). ^'My dearest V/illiam, lohy 
 did you promise to return, without the slightest intention of keeping 
 your word? Do you quite forget one luho has sacrificed all, all, for 
 your sake?" My poor Kate! Forget you! — would to Heaven I 
 eould ! {Reads) '^.My father, whom I hare not seen for some years^ 
 
BOENE I.] THE IRI8H HEIRESS. 5 
 
 has suddenly reques'ed my presence in Londoj}. What shall 1 do? I 
 dare ndt meet him, if you still persist in keeping our vuirriage secret. 
 To-morrow I will set out for town. Expect me in Park-street by ten 
 o''clock. Be there to meet mCy dearest William! The children long 
 to see you, but not more eagerly than your offcctionate wife, Kathe 
 rine Davcntry.'" My poor Kate ! fate compel? me to desert you. 
 
 Le. Oui, milor, it is all dat dam ^'fate's " fault. 
 
 Stan. Lenoir, you must await this lady's arrival, and conduct her 
 to apartments as tar from this as possible. Make some excuse for my 
 absence: say I am — I — oh, I rely on your moralite to invent some 
 rascally lie ; — only keep her away ; for her presence just now would 
 be destruction to my dearest hopes ! 
 
 Le. I will tell her she is too much — de trop — she is one over — 
 
 Stan. No ; for remember, she imagines herself to be my wife — 
 
 Le. Diable ! c'est vrai. 
 
 Stan. Measures must be taken to get her out of London again, as 
 soon as possible. In the mean time, what 's in that third envelope? 
 
 Le. {opening a third letter, and reading). ^*Crochford''s, half 
 past four, morning " — 
 
 Stan, {taking letter, and reading). ^^My dear Stanny, I have the 
 most particular busi?iess to consult you upoii. Be at home at twelve 
 o'clock this morning; — mind, be sure. Yours, very muzzy, Percy 
 Arde7it." How very awkward ! — I expect Supple, my man of busi- 
 ness, every moment. I despatched him to Ireland, to sell the goods 
 and movables of my estate there. I expect him every moment, with 
 the proceeds. Perhaps I can get rid of him before Ardent's arrival. 
 {Ji knock, L. H.) There he is. lExil Lenoir, d. l. h. 
 
 Money ! money ! it flies quicker than love. Five years ago my father 
 died, leaving me heir to a veiy gentlemanly set of tradesmen, the com- 
 pound interests of his debts, and his blessing. However, I was deuced 
 glad to merge the tottering credit of the young Viscount Daventry in 
 the Earldom of Staumore ; and amongst other conveniences appertain- 
 ing to my change of name, it may enable me to escape detection by 
 Kate. She will not know me, in my new robes and title. 
 
 Reenter Lenoir, d. l. h. 
 
 Le. Mr. Supple, milor. \^Exit, d. l. u. 
 
 Enter Supple, d. l. h. 
 
 Supple (l. h., bowing low). May I venture to hope that your lord- 
 ship is quite well? 
 
 Stan. {r. u.) Quite well. Have you break fisted ? 
 
 Sup. Thank you, I never mix business and pleasure. 
 
 Stan. Pray take a seat. 
 
 Sup. Your lordship does me too much honor. {They sit at table ; 
 Supple ivitk servility.) 
 
 Stan. Now, then, what did the property fetch? 
 
 Sup. Nothing, my lord. 
 
 Stan. How? 
 
 Sup. Gently ; I thought it better to consult, before I sold — 
 
 Stan. Consult ! 
 
 Sup. Before I sold what did not quite belong to your lordship. 
 1* 
 
6 "WEST END ; OR, [aOT L 
 
 Stan. ^Vhat do you mean? 
 
 Sup. Permit me to entreat your patience. 
 
 Stan. The Daventry Estates not mine! Pooh! — nonsense! — 
 Whose, then? 
 
 Sup. You will perceive it, if I may take the liberty — 
 
 Stan. Proceed. 
 
 Sup. With submission, always — 
 
 Stan. I '11 excuse your deference, for brevity. 
 
 Sup. {taking out and referring to pocket-book). I was deputed by 
 yott to dispose of — 
 
 Stan, {impatiently). I know, I know. Come to the point at once 
 
 Sup. My dear lord, the law never does. On arriving on the prem- 
 ises, I proceeded to examine the goods, chattels, &c. &c. Every 
 chamber was shown to me, without reserve or hesitation, but your 
 father's, which was locked. I demanded the key ; it could not be 
 found. The door was accordingly broken open, and amongst its con- 
 tents, was an Indian cabinet — 
 
 Stan. Ay, I remember it. 
 
 Sup. Locked, also ; in which, on opening, I discovered, partly by 
 chance, a secret drawer, containing a packet of letters from Lady 
 Daventry, your mother, to your father — 
 
 Stan. You read them ? 
 
 Sup. You desired me to examine everything. 
 
 Stan. Well? 
 
 Sup. They contained a full and complete avowal — pardon me — 
 of your illegitimacy. 
 
 Stan. What, mine? Impossible! 
 
 Sup. The sweetest proofs I ever read ! — as clear as the Bill of 
 Rights. 
 
 Stan. I 'm thunderstruck ! Where are these letters? 
 
 Sup. I crave pardon once again. I restored them to the cabinet, 
 and obeying strictly your commands (finding that, although the title 
 and estate descended to the real heirs, the goods and chattels were left 
 to you, especially, by will), I sold them by auction. 
 
 Stan. And who bought the cabinet? 
 
 Sup. I did, and all that it contained. 
 
 Stan. I see. {They eye each other significantly). 
 
 Sup. Your father, the old earl, had a twin-brother, Loi'd Daventry, 
 who was disowned for marrying a Miss O'Connor ; and being driven 
 by necessity from this country, he assumed his wife's name, and ac- 
 cepted a commission in the Bengal army, in which service he died, 
 leaving his widow and one child. Miss Norah O'Connor. Now, as 
 your title and estates descend by the female line, this child, your 
 tirst cousin, is heiress-at-law to your father, and Countess of Stan- 
 more in her own right. 
 
 Stan. And you mean to proclaim it, I suppose ? 
 
 Sup. Nay, I am your lordship's most devoted servant to command, 
 and need never discover the existence of such papers in my cabinet, 
 till you desire it. {A pause.) 
 
 Stan. For what sum will you destroy them ? 
 
 Sup. 'T would be a felony. 
 
 Stan. True ; I had forgotten {Aside) What shall I do ? I '11 try 
 
KC£NE I.] THE IRISU IIE1KE3S. 7 
 
 a ruse. Well, sir, I must see these documents ; and should they prove 
 genuine I shall feel in honor bound to surrender a title to which I can 
 have no right ; and no longer retain estates to which I never had a 
 claim. That is mj decision, — my fixed determination. {A lomj 
 pause. — Supple exainines Stanmore's /ace intently, and gradually 
 relaxes into a smile. Aside) The rJiscal knows me ! {Aloud) Ahem I 
 where is this girl? 
 
 Sup. On her mother's late death she was left to the guardianship 
 of ner cousin, Sir William Daventry, with whom she now resides. 
 
 Stan. Indeed ! I saw Lord Daventry at a ball, last night, and he 
 did not mention it or introduce me. To be sure, he was so absorbed 
 in his new and young wife's flirtations. {A double knock, l h. ) 
 That 's Ai-dent. Pardon me, my dear sir ; — I am unavoidably en- 
 gaged. We will talk over this point another time. (Rint/s bell, 
 K. wing. Aside) And it will give me time to consider. 
 
 Sup. You will find I have lodged eight hundred pounds to your 
 credit, at your banker's. I wish you a vei'y good morning. 
 
 [Exit, D. L. II. 
 
 Stan. Now, am I not an unlucky devil ? What 's to be done? My 
 debts are twenty thousand, and my credit — eight hundred. That 's 
 two-pence in the pound. Then, illegitimate ! If Supple will only 
 keep it quiet I might retrench. Ay, but where? Could I put down 
 my cab, — enter a drawing-room out of a patent-safety, with a sur- 
 reptitious straw turning king's evidence, in one's strap ? Jamais I — 
 I could sell this house and furniture. No, I forgot, — I 've done that 
 already. Well, no matter, — I 've not paid for them ; so the second 
 purchaser will get quite as much as the first. These are desperate ex- 
 pedients ; but what 's to be done? Oh, I see what it will all end in ; 
 
 — I shall become reckless ; — I shall lose all kind of moral feeling, 
 and in a moment of temporary insanity I shall marry. Marry 1 — 
 why should I not marry Norah herself? Egad ! I '11 try, under any 
 circumstances. Let me see ; — there 's Mrs. Comfort, a rich widow, 
 
 — worth a plum ; but she has had one husband, and looks a long- 
 liver. Oh, that I could stumble on something rich and consumptive ! 
 I 'd take it to winter in Norway. 
 
 Enter Ardent, hastily, d. l. h. — He throws himself into a chair, 
 
 out of breath. 
 
 Now, then, what scrape has your hothead run you into? — anything 
 berious? 
 
 Ardent. My dear fellow, I want your assistance and advice. 
 
 Stan. You shall have them. Any quarrel? 
 
 Ar. You were at Lady Melton's, last night? 
 
 Stan. Well. 
 
 «/2r. You saw her there ? 
 
 Stan, llev ! Who? — that black-eyed girl you were whisking 
 lound the room all night ? 
 
 Ar. Exactly. You remember her? 
 
 Stan. Well, what of her? 
 
 Ar. I 'm done up, Stanmore, seriously. 
 
 Stan. How so? 
 
 Ar, Look here ! {Pulls out a letter.) Here 's a signal gun to her. 
 
$ WEST EAD ; OR, £aCT I. 
 
 Stan. What, to a girl you saw for the first time last night ! 
 Jlr. Oh, she 's one of those that don't want to be known long. Bat 
 never fear ; you '11 find I 've made up for the brevity of our acquaint- 
 anceship, by a squeeze of respect. Listen. Ahem! {Reails) ''Crock- 
 ford's. Madam" — That 's distant. (Reads) '^ You will doubt- 
 less be surprised, but I hope not offended, by receiving this deferential 
 address, from one ichom you cannot but look vpon as a stranger. If 
 unacceptable, pardon it as a mere madness, rather than condemn it 
 as a wanton insult." You perceive that 's an offshot of the sublime 
 and beautiful. Now I glide out of that style, and you '11 find I get a 
 little warmer. {Reads) ^'Loveliest of created beings, I adore you to 
 distraction! " Oh! what a relief it was when I came to that! 
 (Reads) ''Give me back my heart, or, as you have it, keep it now, 
 and take the rest " — 
 
 Stan. A rat ! a rat I *' Maid of Athens," Byron ! 
 Ar. What! you've found it out, have you? Well, but wait 
 (Reads) "How helplessly I yield it up to you ! I would say more 
 if I had more to say." All that's mine, and quite original 
 (Reads) "Your devoted arid distracted Percy Ardent." Now, I 
 want your candid opinion on that. Stay, shall I read it again? 
 Stan. No ; first tell me, who is the lady? 
 Ar. Eh? 
 
 Stan. What 's her came? 
 
 Ar. Her name ! — a — she did n't mention that. 
 Stan. But you were introduced ? 
 
 Ar. Oh! — formally! — yes, I introduced myself; but it neve? 
 occurred to me to ask her name. 
 Stan. Where does she live ? 
 Ar. Don't know. 
 
 Stan. Write a letter, without knowing where it 'a to go, or who it 
 is to ! 
 
 Ar. Well ! now I come to think — ha ! ha ! — it does appear odd ; 
 but the instant I saw her I rushed up, — said something ! Ah I — 
 Stan. Passionately, I '11 be sworn. 
 
 Ar. I think she observed it was very warm ; so I volunteered to 
 procure an ice — got a smile — hazarded my arm — 't was taken — 
 found she was Irish — a delicious little brogue — enough to swear by. 
 Such naivete — such wit — such — such everything ! Oh! (Falls 
 back in ecstasies.) I say, Stan, this is the real thing, isn't it? I 'm 
 in for it in earnest, this time, eh? 
 
 Stan. I fear so. Go on, and don't be violent ; — calm your ex- 
 pressions. 
 
 Ar. I can't, I can't ; — I would if I could ; but T can't ! I danced 
 with her — it was a waltz — oh ! where was I ? — it 's half way to 
 heaven, the very thinking of it ! I can hardly recollect anything, but 
 that she breathed love ! — and, heavens to think ! I had my arm 
 round her waist for two minutes ! 
 Stan. Twenty ! 
 
 Ar. Was it? Seemed two ; and oh ! such a waist ! — ye gods ! - 
 not a pair of fctays and a brickbat ; but yielding, heaving life ! And 
 then, her hair ! — all the women abused her hair ; so you may srf^l- 
 Bwear it was superb ; — not a plastered dab on each cheek; but s v<- 
 
BCiLNE I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 9 
 
 feet Niagara of curls, black as Erebus, and softer than the sighs I 
 breathed upon them I — lovely forehead, and such eyes! — oh! I 
 thought I could look right into her heart, through those deep wells of 
 liquid light. But her nose ! — here, lend me a pencil, and I '11 draw 
 you her nose. 
 
 Stan. Hum ! — has she money ? 
 
 ■Ar. Money I Dam'me, Stanmore, what a fellow 3'ou are ! I never 
 thought of asking ; — no, I did nothing but look, listen, and love ! 
 
 Stan. Pooh ! you ai'e young. I see you have not been long in 
 London. 
 
 Jlr. Three weeks, yesterday, I was weaned from Alma Mater ; — 
 left St. John's with honors, and entered St. James's with glory ! 
 
 Stan. The most recherche and aristocratic saints in the calendar ! 
 AVell, during three weeks, there's not a pretty woman, from Regent 
 Street to Hyde Park, who does not with justice boast a slice of your 
 heart, and whom you have not been running after, crying out " Stop 
 thief!" 
 
 Ar. I! — 
 
 Stan. They say you 've married the sex, and sent round your 
 heart in little bits, instead of bride-cake. 
 
 Ar. But I say, about this girl, though. 
 
 Stan. Well, we must discover who and what she is, and get an in- 
 troduction formally ; but pray do nothing rashly. 
 
 Ar. There 's a good fellow — 
 
 Enter Lenoir, d. l. h. 
 Le. Major Fuss. {Exit, d. l. u. 
 
 Enter Fuss, d. l. n. 
 
 Fuss. Ah, boys, how are ye? (x to c.) I 'm in a devil of a hurry. 
 Never mind ; — you haven't heard, have ye? — no, of course ; how 
 could ye, ha ? Can either of you tell me where I can get a — 
 
 Stan. By the way, major, were you at Lady Melton's last night? 
 
 Fuss. Melton's ; I 've no doubt I was. Any relation to Melton 
 Mowbray? Oh no, I forgot ; that's a town. 
 
 Stan. Who was that girl Ardent was flirting with so eternally ? 
 
 Ar. Ay, Fuss, do you know her name? 
 
 Fuss. Oh yes, I know her. Who is she? 
 
 Ar. Delicious hair ; — dressed in white ; — splendid figure ! 
 
 Fuss. Splendid figure ! You mean Mrs. Comfort ? 
 
 Ar. Did you ever see me Ayaltzing with an hour-glass? 
 
 Fuss. She doesn't belong to the — no. Oh ! I know,— an Irish 
 girl. 
 
 Ar. Exactly ! very Irish. 
 
 Fuss. Oh, her name is — ah — um — oh ! — 
 
 .Jir. Yes, yes. 
 
 Fuss. She is related to a Lord Somebody Something, of Somewhere. 
 
 Ar. But her name? 
 
 Fuss. Her name isn't Vandelear? nor Twiddy? nor What-d' ye- 
 Ball-'em ? nor — 
 
 Ar. Damn it, Fuss, I don't want to knovr what it isn't, but what 
 it is I 
 
 Fuss. Precisely ; but you will never fini it, if you rummage my 
 
10 WEST END ; OS, [ACT I. 
 
 memory in that cari.'less way. Patience ; I must turn over every 
 name that I 've heard since hers — a — I have it ! 
 
 Ar. Have you? 
 
 Fuss. Very nearly ; — I had a nibble — a — Rorah — Norah — 
 
 Stan. O'Connor? 
 
 Fuss. That 's it ! — Norah O'Connor ! Somebody told you, 
 
 Stan, {starling forward). Impossible ! 
 
 Fuss. I 'm certain. 
 
 Stan, (aside). The devil it is ! I was going to help him to the very 
 girl 1 intend for myself ! 
 
 Funs. Stay ! Now I think of it, I have her in my pocket, — that 
 is, her last dying — no, I mean her birth, parentage, and education. 
 They are usually mixed up somehow. Here it is. {Pulls out a satin 
 reticule.) Here ! — No ! I am commissioned to get this embroidered 
 for Lady Gay Frippery. {Pulls out two fans.) Those are — let me 
 gee — no matter ; — remind me to remember {pulls out a shoe and a 
 flower) I 'm to get one of these modelled in wax for somebody — I for- 
 get who ; and whether it is the shoe or the flower I can't at all remem- 
 ber. {Pulls out a pocket-book.) Here we are ! Now, then. 
 
 Stan, {aside). This alarms me. {Aloud) Pray what induced you 
 to make such particular inquiries? 
 
 Fuss. Mrs. What 's-her-name asked me to procure some informa 
 tion on the point, very fresh ; and here it is — a — um — 
 
 A r. {snatching the book). Here, allow me. {Reads) **MissJVorah 
 O'' Connor, only daughter of Lord Edward Daventry and Miss 
 O^ Connor. Edward was disinherited — went off suddenly at Burth- 
 port, in the East Indies, of having his brains blown out, which killed 
 him. She is second cousin and ward of Sir William Daventry, of 
 Greenoaks ; and first cousin to" — 
 
 Fuss. No, no! Permit me — cousin — to — to the Earl of 9tan« 
 more — 
 
 Ar. Your cousin, Stan, — first cousin. 
 
 Fuss. I 'm just going to ride out there, and give them a call. They 
 live at a villa at Fulham ; and as I am going to a breakfast at Twick- 
 enham, to-night, at eight o'clock — 
 
 Ar. Why, Stanny and I are invited. I drive him down in my cab. 
 
 Fuss. I '11 take the Daventrys on the road. 
 
 Ar. Then, major, oblige me by delivering this letter, there's a 
 good fellow. {Gives letter.) I '11 do as much for you another time. 
 
 Fuss. What the deuce do you take me for, — a drunken orderly or 
 a postman ? Don't be mean ; — pay it ; it is only a penny. 
 
 Ar. But this contains so much that I fear to trust it to such a 
 chance. 
 
 Fuss {taking it). Why, what 's in it? 
 
 Ar. My heart — my soul — my love — ray all ! 
 
 Fuss {weighing it). 'Tis under the half-ounce. 
 
 Stan, {aside). It has no direction. 
 
 Ar. Take the first private opportunity to give it to her. 
 
 Stan, {aside). He has never told him who it is for. Ten to one 
 Fuss will make some stupid blunder. 
 
 Enter LcxoiRi d. l. h. 
 
 Le. Sir William Daventry ! [Exit;, D. L. B-. 
 
SCENE I.J THE IRISH HEIRESS. H 
 
 Enter Sir William DavExNTry, l>, l. ii. 
 
 Daventry. Alia! Stanmore, lad, I've found you out, you see. 
 How are ye? How d' ye do, Fuss? 
 
 Stan, (x to Daventry). Permit me to introduce you to Percy Ar- 
 dent. Sir William Daventry, Percy Ardent, my fi-iend — my cousin 
 Daventry. ( They bow.) liy the way, how 's my lady cousin ? 
 
 Bav. Eh? 
 
 Stan. I forgot to offer you niv congratulations. 
 
 Dav. "What for? 
 
 Stan. Your marriage. 
 
 Dav. (l. c. ) Ahem ! — thank ye — same to you. 
 
 Stan. (r. c.) Indeed ! on what? 
 
 Da V. On your celibacy, you dog ! 
 
 Fuss (r. h.) Why now, Daventry, you are the last man I should 
 have sus2:)ected of committing matrimony. 
 
 Dav. Possibly. I never suspected it myself till I saw my pipe at 
 the back of the tire, my kennel sold, and my hunters turned to hacks. 
 
 Ar. (l. II.) I wouldn't have stood that. 
 
 Fuss. Nor I, by the eighteenth of June, eighteen hundred and 
 fifteen ! 
 
 Dav. Would n't you ? Wait till a woman comes wheedling round 
 you, with a face like a sieve of corn, and a halter behind her back. 
 She slips it over your head in a jiffy, and then it 's no use kicking. 
 
 Stan. But how did it happen ? 
 
 Fuss. Ay, how were you caught ? 
 
 Dav. I haven't the remotest conception. People have been telling 
 me, for the last thirty years, I ought to marry ; but somehow it 
 slipped my memory, till Kate Savage put me in mind of it. I don't 
 know how it happened. — I have a confused recollection of blushes, 
 and churches, and lawyers, and ale, and parsons, and punch, mixed 
 up, till I could n't tell which was which. All I know is, I got very 
 drunk, and very pathetic, and awoke the next morning with a devil 
 of a headache, and — a wife. 
 
 Stan. But what on earth brought you to town ? 
 
 Dav. My better half. Lady Daventry having heard me swear at 
 a groom, and kick him oiit-o'-doors, discovered that I had a genius 
 for Parliament. Didn't see it myself, but to satisfy Kate I put up 
 for my own borough ; and though there was no opposition, she in- 
 sisted that it was necessary for me to have a poll, k) give the indepen- 
 dent electors the opportunity of getting drunk in the cause of liberty, 
 and breaking one another's heads, for the general good, according to 
 immemorial custom. 
 
 All. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 
 Stan. How do you like London? 
 
 Dav. The place is well enough, but the people — 
 
 Ar. Well — 
 
 Dav. I'll leave them alone, and hope that they will return the 
 compliment. 
 
 Fuss. Matrimony does not seem to agree with you. 
 
 Dav. I have one poor consolation : it can only happen once in my 
 life. 
 
 ^tan. Perhaps twice. 
 
12 WEST E-ND ; OR, [ACT 1 
 
 Dav. No, impossible ; fov I 've given my solicitor a power of attor- 
 ncy to take out a Avrit de lunatico inquircndo, if he ever liear of my 
 doing so again. 
 
 Stan. Why didn't you introduce mc to my cousin Norah, last 
 night ? 
 
 Dav. 'Pon my life, I can't remember. 
 
 Fasi. That 's my way. I always — what d' ye call it — 
 
 Dav Ah ! there 's a little emerald. If you had seen her when she 
 came to Greenoaks, from Ireland ! — as wild as an unbroken Arab ! — 
 free as the wind, and as lovely as — as herself ! She beats everything 
 else in nature, by — by — 
 
 Ar, The loveliest neck I ever looked at ! 
 
 Dav. Nature seemed to have made her out of an April day. — 
 There 's daylight in her smile, and evening's softest tinge sleeps on 
 her cheek ! 
 
 Jlr. Hear ! hear ! hear 1 Sir William, you '11 be a great speaker ! 
 Just my feelings ! 
 
 Dav. You admire my little Norah? Sir, give me your hand. — 
 You are a devilish good-looking fellow, and a man of taste ! ( They 
 shake hands.) 
 
 Ar. I am ; and you are a man of discretion. 
 
 Dav. Let me tell you, sir, her heart is as good 35 her face ! 
 
 Ar. Better ! better ! 
 
 Dav. Ah ! I only wish my wife was like her. 
 
 Stan. Take care Mrs. Comfort does not hear yot. say so. 'T would 
 be all over town that Lady Daventi-y was a wretched, ill-used woman. 
 Remember, this place is a perfect hive of scandal ! 
 
 Ar. And Mrs. Comfort aspires to the dignity of Queen Bee. 
 
 Stan. She flies round, full of buzz and honey. 
 
 Dav. And with enough sting for the whole hive. 
 
 Enter Lenoir, d. l. ii. 
 
 Le. The Honorable Mrs. Bolton Comfort. 
 
 Dav. Let me out ! (x l. h.) 
 
 Stan. I 'm not at home ! 
 
 Le. She is waiting below, milor, in her carriage, for Major Fuss. 
 
 Dav. Hallo, major ! \_Exit Lenoe, d. l. h. 
 
 Stan. Oh ! I had forgotten. — She is a flame of Fuss's ! 
 
 Ar. Now, my man of war ! 
 
 Dav. To her ! 
 
 Ar. Never say die ! 
 
 Stan. Down with you. Fuss. Two to one on the widow ! Come, 
 Fuss, no shirking. {Pushes him to Ardent, l. h.) 
 
 Ar. No hedging here ! — A direct challenge I — No apology ! 
 {Pushes him to l. ii. — Fuss has tea-pot in his hand. — Wishes to 
 retwn and replace it, hut the party thrust him off l. ii., iciih it siili 
 in his hand.) 
 
 Dav. Go and be comforted ! 
 
 All three. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 
 Ardent. Stanmore. Daventry 
 qiticx drop. — end of .\ct i. 
 
8CEXK I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 18 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 A BOUDOIR.— THE MAID, THE WIFE, AND THE WIDOW. 
 
 Lady Patentry's Boudoir. — c. doors, practical. — Boor n. n. 2 e. 
 — Door L. n. 2 e. 
 
 Enter Lady and Sir William Davemry, d. r. ii. 2 e. 
 
 Lady Daventry. Sir William Daventry, do you wish to make me 
 (he ridicule of all London? Dine at two o'clock 1 — Absurd ! {Sits.) 
 
 Dav. But, my dear Kate, will you listen lo reason? 
 
 Lady If. No ! 
 
 Dav. I 'm hungry ! — I 'm starving ! 
 
 Lady D. Order lunch. 
 
 Dav. A water-biscuit and a calfs-foot jelly ! 
 
 Lady D. You Goth ! what brought you to town ? 
 
 Dav. You did. 
 
 Lady D. Yes ; but I never brought your boorish habits. I won- 
 der you don't know better than to be hungry at such an hour ! 
 
 Dav. I beg pardon. I sinned innocently. I wasn't aware that 
 fashion had repealed the laws of nature. 
 
 Lady D. There are some other matters in which you require re- 
 form. 
 
 Dav. Always delighted, my love, to — 
 
 Lady D. There ! there ! that 's it. 
 
 Dav. What, my soul? 
 
 Lady D. For Heaven's sake, let me entreat you not to '* my love " 
 and " my soul " me about the town. 'T is never done. 
 
 Dav. What, is connubial affection contraband, and seized at Hj'de 
 Park corner, as an illegal import ? 
 
 Lady D. Yes. Oh ! now I think of it, never ask me to dance, aa 
 you did last night. {Eying him through her glass.) 'Pon my life, 
 you 're an original. Ha ! ha ! But, apropos, allow me to abuse your 
 toilette. Who 's your operator ? {Rises.) 
 
 Dav. My valet, Bob. Old Bob has dressed me these I don't know 
 how many years. 
 
 Lady D. We '11 discharge him. 
 
 Dav. No, damn me if 1 do ! not for all the fashion in the world ! 
 
 Lady D. Well, take another peruquicr, and don't swear; it's 
 coarse ! 
 
 Dav. Bob will do 
 
 Lady D. Bob ! How often have I told you to call the servants by 
 Jheir surnames ? 
 
 Dav. 'Pon my life, I did n't know they ever had any. 
 
 Lady D. Euston is his name. Your hair is worse than a corn- 
 field, after a hurricane ; and look at your cravat, — for all the world 
 like a fancy halter ; and your clothes — horrible ! vile I 
 
 Dav. Good gracious ! — dear me ! — am I indecently clad ? 
 
 Lady D. Worse, if possible. Your coat looks as if it had been cut 
 out with a knife and fork, and thrown on with a shovel ; and you 're 
 not a bad figure, when *' bicn mis." Yom* trowsers shamefully sculp- 
 
14 WEST EKD ; OK, [aCT II. 
 
 tureii ; — altogether, such a vulgar redundancy of cloth, that — ha ' 
 ha ! — it really becomes a matter of curious speculation in what cor- 
 ner of that mis-shapen mass — ha ! ha ! that chaos ! — the body of 
 Sir William Daventry may be concealed. 
 
 Dav. Perhaps your ladyship can recommend me a tailor. 
 Lady D. I will make inquiries. In the meanwhile, have yc u 
 carefully perused the book I gave you, — " Hints on Etiquette," — 
 by some Latin or Greek man? 
 
 Dav. Yes, by a Go-Gos. It 's Greek. 
 Ladxj D, Well, let him be your master. 
 Dav. I have found a better. 
 Lady D. Indeed ! Whom? 
 
 Dav. Nature ! nature ! who taught me that true politeness consists 
 simply in true feeling ; for a man who has a gentle heart himself will 
 never wound his neighbor's wantonly. 
 
 Lady D. Hear ! hear ! hear ! I would retail that at the next lite- 
 rary conversazione, if I could remember it. 
 
 Dav. Keep it for home use ; and believe me, those who possess the 
 old-fashioned piece of human furniture need not the study of a book 
 to teach them kindly thoughts. Those who have it not of r^ourse must 
 iearn the rules by rote. 
 
 Lady D. That sounds well. 
 
 Dav. It does, and like a good instrument it will improve by prac- 
 tice. But now tell nie, is there any other part of me v/hich might 
 provoke a critical censure from your ladyship? {Tarns round 
 slowly, while Lady Daventky eyes him, through her glass, and walks 
 round him.) 
 
 Lady D. You will require complete regeneration. There is much 
 to be done ; though I fear you are too old to learn. One can't expect 
 fifty years' country rust to be rubbed off by a week's town polishing. 
 Dav. (seriously). Kate, that is the most undeserved and unkindly 
 word you have uttered since our marriage. I don't need your cool 
 taunt to feel aware I am double your age. My mirror hourly says as 
 much. Remember that you married me from choice ; at least you said 
 so ; and the fault, if fault there be on either side, must be on yours ; 
 for years are no reproach, unless ill-spent. {He turns away, and sits 
 R. H. — A pause. — She approaches and puts her arm round his 
 neck.) 
 
 Lady D. Have I offended you ? 
 
 Dav. No ; you have hurt me. I love you too well to take offence. 
 Lady D. I entreat your pardon, love. I would not wound your 
 feelings for worlds ; indeed, indeed, I would not ! I only spoke for 
 your own sake. There 's a little difference between our ages, as you 
 well know there always should be, — always ten years, at least i -r- 
 tifteen I think better. Now, as I am twenty-eight — 
 Dav. No ; twenty-two. 
 
 Lady D. No, really ; — and you are forty-five — 
 Dav. Fifty ! fifty ! every hour ! 
 Lady D. You are not. 
 Dav. I am. 
 
 Lady D. I say you ai'e not ! 
 
 Dav. {atide). She has a good heart, anil damn me, they shan't 
 spoil it ': (Rises.) 
 
SCENE 1.] THE IlllSlI UEIRES3. 15 
 
 Lady D. Well, I would not have that difference, trifling as it may 
 be, remarked or pointed at. 
 
 Dav. AVlio cares? Let them point. 
 
 Lady D To oblige me. 
 
 Dav. My own dear — (Catchiriff himself.) Beg pardon ! 
 
 Lady D. Call me Kate, or what you please. 
 
 Dav. Well then, Kate, I have a favor to ask of you. 
 
 Lady D. It shall be granted. 
 
 Dav. May I request that you will not waltz? 
 
 Lady D. Not waltz ! — what I — why not ? 
 
 Dav. Why, you see — after all — when you come to consider that 
 I — you — {Breaking out) Damn me! I don't like to see another 
 man with his arms round my wife's waist, whisking round, to an in- 
 fernal see-saw, donkey-braying tune ! 
 
 Lady D. Are you mad? 
 
 Dav. No, but I thought you were. 
 
 Lady D. Give me patience ! Sir William Daventry, you 're a 
 fool! 
 
 Dav. Perhaps I am, Lady D. ; and better that than — 
 
 Lady D. What, sir? 
 
 Dav. Ahem ! No matter ; only I should like to remain as nature 
 made me, — that 's all. (x io l. ii.) 
 
 Lady D. Dine at one, dress like a Quakeress, and not waltz ! — I 
 should like to know what Mrs. Comfort would say ? 
 
 Dav. Confound that horrid woman ! 
 
 Lady D. Horrid woman, Sir William ! She is the Lady-patroness 
 of Almack's, and haut ton ! She keeps two secretaries and a pub- 
 lisher ; writes novels, bound in peach-colored silk, and a wreath of 
 laurel, — "Deprivation, or Tears from a Widow!" She is creme 
 de la creme. Moreover, she has a hundred thousand pounds ! 
 
 Enter Euston, d. l. ii. 2 e. 
 
 Euslon. Mrs. Bolton Comfort. \_Exil, d. l. u. 2 e. 
 
 Dav. Now for a flood of hyperbolics ! She will distrain heaven it- 
 self to furnish her greeting ! (x to B. ii. ) 
 
 Enter Mrs. Comfort, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 Mrs. C. My beautiful angel ! you look lovelier than youi-self, this 
 morning ! and last night I should have deemed that impossible. Ah I 
 Sir William Daventry, I hear of you everywhere I The town is on the 
 qui vive to hear you in the House ! On what question do you come 
 out? St. Stephen is in a fever ! But, dear me ! where is Fuss? H« 
 arrived with me. 
 
 Lady D. Apropos, who is Fuss ? 
 
 Mrs. C. Ay, who is Fuss? Every one has asked the same ques- 
 tion for the last hundred years ! Everybody knows him. He had a 
 cornetcy in the Guai'ds during the Middle Ages ; exchanged it for ma- 
 jority, in the North-east Bungay Indefencibles, or Indispensables, I 
 forget which ; so does he, I believe — ha ! ha ! Poor dear old soul .' 
 I pet him ; he has two thousand a year ! 
 
 Dav. Ah ! that 's a yery redeeming quality ! 
 
16 IVEST END ; OR, [ACT II. 
 
 Enter Fuss, d. l. ii. 2 e. 
 
 Mrs. C. Yco, lie 's a horrible bore! — but you know I am good- 
 natured to a fault — Ah ! (x to L. c. ) My dear major ! we were 
 just saying Avhat a delightful acquisition you are, now you are become 
 one of us. 
 
 Fuss. I 'm overwhelmed ! Lady Daventry, I still live the most 
 prostrate of your incalculable adorers ! Bless me, what a lovely spot ! 
 — quite a paradise I — as if created for its lovely mistress ! 
 
 Z^at?. {aside). More honey for the hive. 
 
 Fuss. Here's an exquisite spot! Ah! rather far from town, 
 though ; (aside) and just outside a three-penny turnpike ! 
 
 Lady D. It is Sir AVilliam's choice. 
 
 Fuss. Which must be super-excellent I else had you not been the 
 lovely Lady Daventry. 
 
 Dav. {aside). That fellow is a perfect bombshell of sweet noth- 
 ings. 
 
 Mrs. C. I was just remarking to Sir William Daventry, major, 
 that he is quite a lion, since he has become one of us. 
 
 Dav. One of us ! What a horrid expression ! Such a regimental 
 idea. Does she belong to us? Is she of ours? This morning, as I 
 was walking in the garden, I saw my next door neighbor, over the 
 paling; so I said, "How d'ye do? Fine morning. Good day." 
 That was all. Well, my Lady D., there, overheard me, and I got 
 half an hour's lecture; and why ? Because he didn't "belong to 
 us." 
 
 Mrs. C. What a droll man you are ! You amuse me, positively. 
 
 Enter Eustox. n. l. ii. 2 e. 
 Eus. Earl of Stanmore and Mr. Ardent. [Exit, d. l. n. 2 e. 
 
 Enter Staxmore and Ardent, d, l. ii. 2 e. 
 
 SITUATIONS. 
 B. n. Sir fViUiam. Lady D. Mrs. C. Fuss. Stan. Ardent. h, E. 
 
 Stan. My lovely cousin, your devoted. 
 
 Dav. Katherine, Mr. Ardent. {Introduces them.) 
 
 Lady D. {aside to Mrs. Comfort). Do you know him? 
 
 Mrs. C. Intimately ; he has eight thousand a year. 
 
 Lady D. He is decidedly handsome. 
 
 Ar. But where is Norah ? 
 
 Stan, {aside). Keep quiet. 
 
 Ar. I '11 attack her ladyship, and get a general invitation to the 
 house. 
 
 Lady D. By the bye, where is Noi'ah? 
 
 Ar. Ah ! to be sui-e, by the bye, just what I was saying, — where 
 is Norah ? 
 
 Lady D. I was not aware, Mr. Ardent, that you knew Miss 
 O'Connor. 
 
 Ar. yes, I was introduced last night. 
 
 Mrs. C. By whom ? 
 
BCENE I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 17 
 
 Ar. By "whom, did you say? By -whom? {Aside to Stak- 
 more) By whom, eh? 
 
 Sta?}. (aside). Say,Fuss. 
 
 Ar. 0, ay — by Fuss. 
 
 Dav. By you, major ? 
 
 Fuss. By me ? Eh ! did I ? — I forgot — oh yes, yes — certainly 
 
 Mrs. C. I did n't know you were acquainted with her. 
 
 Fuss. No more I am. 
 
 All. Ha, ha, ha ! — Well done, major ! 
 
 Mrs. C. Lady Paventry, my dear, remember that I came at your 
 request, to take Norah to the breakfast at Twickenham, this evening. 
 She is not ready, and I can't wait. ( Goes up.) 
 
 Ar. There 's my cab, outside, that she can have, with pleasure. 
 
 Stan, (aside). Are you mad ? What are you about? 
 
 Ar. (aside). But if she goes in Mother Comfort's trap, I can't see 
 her, or chat on the road. Stop, I have it ; I 'II send for my horse ; 
 t'len I can ride beside her. Splendid idea ! 
 
 Lady D. Euston ! ' 
 
 Enter Euston, d. l. it. 2 e. 
 
 Lady D. Where is Miss O'Connor? 
 
 Eus. She is dressing. 
 
 Mrs. C. Beg her to make haste. 
 
 Lady D. Order the phaeton round in twenty minutes, 
 
 Ar. And be so good as to tell my boy to drive home, leave the cab, 
 and bring back my bay mare. Stay, 1 '11 write an order, for fear of 
 any blunder. Stanmore, have you a slip of paper about you ? 
 
 Stan. Will the back of this do ? ( Gives a letter. Aside) A billet- 
 doux from my tailor. 
 
 Ar. Ha, ha ! 
 
 Dav. Come, Stanmore ; while Norah is dressing, I will ask your 
 judgment on a brace of pointers I bought at Tattersall's, this morning. 
 This way. 
 
 &tan. With pleasure. (Aside) I must direct Ai'dent's attack from 
 Norah, by putting Daventry against him. I can easily make Fuss 
 swear to all I say ! (Aloud) Fuss, will you join us ? Let us explore. 
 
 \_Exit Stanmore, Fuss, and Daventry, C. d., talking and laughing. 
 
 Ar. Here, you sir, give my boy this, and bid him touch and go. 
 
 {^Exit Euston, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 But stay, what is this ? (Reads) "My dearest William, why did yon 
 -promise to return, without " — And signed Kate Daventry. Really, 
 I beg your ladyship's pardon. I see it is from you, to Sir William. 
 
 Lady D. Impossible, sir. I never had occasion to write to him. 
 
 Ar. Convince yourself. (Gives letter, and exit, c. d.) 
 
 Lady L>. What can this mean? (Reads) "My dearest Wil- 
 liam " — Her dearest William ! This can't be intended for him. 
 
 Mrs. C. Oh yes, it is. Where 's the direction ? Torn otf. Ah ! 
 for fear of accidents. Go on, love. 
 
 Lady D. Do you mean to say — 
 
 Mrs. C. I do. Go on. — I see it all ; — the dear old man has been 
 a little gay. Ah ! husbands will be husbands. Read ou. 
 
 Lady D. Do I dream ? 
 2* 
 
18 WEST END ; OB, [ACT II. 
 
 .Mrs. C. Oh no, you are quite awake, my dear — ahem ! and so am 
 I. Never mind it. " Bless you, when my late poor dear Comfort used 
 to visit his relations, fur a week or two, I never, troubled myself about 
 the gender of his host, — never. But let us hear what the woman 
 creature says. It may elicit an idea for my next work, — " Woman 
 as she shouldn't be, or the Fatal Gift." 
 
 Lady D. {readini/). *'Mij dearest William, why did you promise 
 io return, withovt ike slightest intention of keeping your icord ? Bo 
 you quite forget her who has sacrificed all, all, for your sake " — 
 
 Mrs. C. Dear, dear ! how it puts me in mind of poor departed 
 Comfort ! Ah, well ! I 've done my duty. It cost me five hundred 
 pounds to put him in the family vault ; and that was a great relief to 
 my feelings. But I beg pardon, — how does the letter work up ? 
 Lady D. Is this possible ? 
 
 Mrs. C. Possible ! I '11 show you a muff-case full of Comfort's ccr- 
 x'espondence, which I keep as sad mementos of my loss. 
 
 Lady D. The wretched reprobate I let him look to himself ! 
 
 Mrs. C. I 'd make him pay dearly for it. 
 
 Lady D. t will ! I '11 be horribly revenged ! 
 
 Mrs. C. Do ; — demand a swingeing check, at once. He won't re- 
 fuse it. Make him suffer, dear. Oh, how cautious poor dear Com- 
 fort became, in his latter days ! But I retard the denouement. — 
 There 's more, I hope. 
 
 Lady D. Merciful heavens ! I am lost ! — he is married ! 
 
 Mrs. C. What! 
 
 Lady D. {reading). '■'■If you persist in keeping our marriage se- 
 cret''— 
 
 Mrs. C. Oh ! Comfort never went so far as that. 
 
 Lady D. I 'm fainting ! 
 
 Mrs. C. It will be thrown away, love. The men are not hero 
 
 Lady D. Read, read ! I cannot see ! 
 
 Mrs. C. Poor dear ! I foretold this, all along. Let me see — a - 
 a — urn. Comes to town to-morrow — meets him at ten o'clock, in 
 Park-street. How odd I that was Comfort's street. 
 
 Lady D. And that was the reason the wretch would not take a 
 house in town. 
 
 Mrs. C. A — urn. It seems he has a family — a — a — 
 
 Lady D. A what? 
 
 Mrs. C. Nothing ; only a family, dear. But with that you have 
 nothing to do. 
 
 Lady D. William I 
 
 Mrs. C. Why, you don't mean to say that you are in love with the 
 man? 
 
 Lndy D. No, I 'm not exactly. 
 
 Mrs. C. The ugly — 
 
 Lady D. He 's not ! No, he 's a brute, but he 's not ugly. 
 
 Mrs. C. Old — 
 
 Lady D. Not forty. 
 
 Mrs. C. Why, he 's as gray as Chinchilla. 
 
 Lady D. That 's in his family. His hair turned at twenty. 
 
 Mrs. C. lou foolish child, you do love him. 
 
 Lady I), {haughtily). Mrs. Bolton Comfort, that's an insnlt ! 
 
SCENE I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 19 
 
 Mrs. C. I beg your pardon, and withdraw the vile accusation. 
 How odd I the letter is ^signed " Kate Daventry." 
 
 Ldiiy I). Has the wretch married two Kates? 
 
 Mrs. C. {lookiiuj at the letter). Can I believe my eyes? The num- 
 ber in Park-street mentioned here is Stanmore's house ! 
 
 Lady D. Would Lord Stanmore lend himselr to such an act? 
 
 Mrs. C. Here he cumes. We shall see. 
 
 Enter StaNiMORE, c. d. l. ii. 
 
 Lady D. Lord Stanmore, have you given permission to my husband 
 to make your house the rendezvous for a disgraceful assignation ? 
 
 Stan. My house I — never! Assignation! with whom? 
 
 Lady D. Some person with whom he was acquainted previous to 
 our marriage. 
 
 Stan. Sir William Daventry? Impossible! You wrong him. 
 
 Lady D. I have proofs. 
 
 Stan. My dear madam, they must be false. 
 
 Lady D. Are they? Read that. {Places letter before his eyes.) 
 
 Stan. The devil ! (Feeling in pocket, draws out another letter, 
 and looks at it. Aside) I gave Ardent the wrong letter, by Jove ! 
 
 Lady D. Read it. 
 
 Stan, {looking at letter). Dear me ! who would have thought it? 
 
 Lady JD. Must not the object of that letter be a villain? 
 
 Stan. Horrible ! {Puts it in his pocket.) 
 
 Lady D. No, give it back again, if you please. {Takes letter.) 
 Thank you. Now, my husband will ask you for the loan of your 
 house. Oblige me by giving it. 
 
 Mrs. C. What then? 
 
 Lady D. If he has dared to wrong me, as I suspect, I am deter- 
 mined to get fi-om him — 
 
 Mrs. C. Damages ! 
 
 Lady D. A deed of separation. 
 
 Mrs. C. You are mad, my love. Separation ! What good will 
 that do? You'll be allowed five hundred a year. Comfort would 
 have given his eyes to have pensioned me off ; but I knew better ; ha, 
 ha I Why, now, observe; — 3'ou are separated; good. Do you 
 think the woi'ld will inquire whose fault it is? Pooh ! not a bit of 
 it. Besides, you are young and lovely ; he is shady ; that will look 
 odd. So your carriage, your diamonds, your pin-money, and all the 
 rest of jour appurtenances, too tedious to mention, go to the un- 
 lawful usurper. Pooh, pooh ! I know the law on that point back- 
 wards. Bless your little puzzled head ! don't put it into the noose. — 
 That 's just what he 'd like. 
 
 Lady D. What can I do? Shall I show him the letter at once, and 
 confound him? 
 
 Stan. On no account, my dear cousin. That would gain no end. 
 He would deny it altogether, perhaps. 
 
 Mrs. C. Of coui'se he would. Comfort always did. 
 
 Lady L>. W^hat shall I do? — what shall I do? Advise something 
 horrible ; because I feel as if I could do it. 
 
 Mrs. C. I don't altogether like that pretty Irish cousin of his, 
 Cousins on a visit ; — never knew good come of it. 
 
20 WEST END ; OR, [ACT H, 
 
 Lady D. i'ou dou't mean to assert — 
 
 Mrs. C. No ; but hint, my love ; merely hint. If I were in your 
 place I would request her to seek another asylum. 
 
 Lady 1). But what cause can I give for abandoning the poor 
 girl? 
 
 Mrs. C. Is she poor ? 
 
 Lady D. Penniless. 
 
 Mrs. C. Oh ! then you need not give her any cause at all. Poor ! 
 (SiK William and Ardent lavgh without, c. d. l. h.) Hush ! here 
 comes Sir William. I will undertake to break the matter to dear 
 ISorah. She can go as governess or companion. I know a family in 
 Baker-street that give thirty pounds per annum, and find new mourn- 
 ing twice a year. 
 
 Lady D. I don't know what I 'm doing, (x r. c.) 
 
 Stan, {aside). If all comes out, she can't say I joined in this de- 
 ceit. No, but I could not criminate myself by owning the letter. 
 
 Enter Sir William Daventry and Ardent, c. d. l. h. — Enter 'Ev!3- 
 TOxV, d. l. h. 2 E. 
 
 Eus. Your ladyship's phaeton is ready ; Miss O'Connor waits in 
 Mrs. Comfort's carriage ; and Mr. Ardent, your horse has arrived. 
 
 I Exit, D. L. u. 2 E. 
 
 Lady D. Come, Mrs. Comfort. 
 
 Dav. Permit me to escort — 
 
 Lady D. {drawing herself up). Sir ! 
 
 Dav. My love ! 
 
 Lady D. {aside to him). Your love ! Ila, ha ! I despise a second 
 hand affection ! (x to l. h.) 
 
 Lav. Why, Kate ! 
 
 Lady D. Lady Daventry, sir ! 
 
 At. {aside). I '11 off to Norah. 
 
 Lady D. Mr. Ardent, oblige me with your arm. 
 
 Ar. Eh? Oh! {Giving it. Aside) How damned annoying ! 
 
 Lady D. As you are going to the fete, 1 '11 drive you in my phae- 
 ton. 
 
 Ar. I shall feel delighted ! {Aside) I 'm agonized ! {Aloud) Then, 
 Stanmore, as I brought you down in my cab, I leave my horse to you. 
 At your ladyship's service. {Aside) I hope she will upset me. 
 
 [Exit, with Lady Daventry, d. l. ii. 2 e. 
 
 Mrs. C. She '11 do. The girl has spirit. 
 
 Dav. Mrs. Comfort, might I ask what 's the matter ? 
 
 Mrs. C. We must leave an impression, without committing her. 
 A little mystery will tell well here. {Turns round, and looks sadly.) 
 
 Lav. Ah! yes, I see. (Mrs. Comfort shakes her head.) "Well? 
 
 [ Exit Mrs. Comfort, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 Will anybody tell me what has happened? 
 
 Stan. I would not let her drive him, if I were you. 
 
 Dav. Why not? 
 
 Stan. Are you not aware he is called Lady Daventry 's coach-dog? 
 
 Dav. No ! 
 
 Stan. Follow her phaeton, passing. 
 
 Dav. Eustou ! (x to l. h.) 
 
SCENE I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 21 
 
 Enter Euston, d. l. h. 2 h. 
 Dav. Order me a horse ! — order me two horses ! 
 
 [Exit EUSTOX, D. L. H. 2 E. 
 
 I '11_I 'll_oh ! I knew what would be the consequences of coming 
 up to town ! {Exit, D. L. n. 2 e. 
 
 Stan. Where the deuce is Fuss? Oh, he has been left somewhere, 
 and has forgotten himself. Well, I will take his seat beside Norah. 
 Euston ! 
 
 Enter Euston, d. l. k. 2 e. 
 
 Tell Major Fuss my horse is at his service. {Exit, r. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 E7iter Fuss, c. d. l. h. 
 
 Eus. Sir, your horse waits. 
 
 Fuss. My horse ? You mean Mr. Ardent's or Lord Stanmore's. 
 
 Eus. No, sir ; his lordship has gone in Mrs. Comfort's cari-iage. 
 
 Fuss. In my seat ! The devil he has ! 
 
 Eus. And requests you '11 make any use of Mr. Ardent's horse you 
 please. 
 
 Fuss. Use ! A major in the standing army outflanked by a fellow 
 who doesn't know a bombshell from a squib ! Make any use of him 
 I please ! I '11 ring his metal ! And the rascal has forgot to leave 
 me the ticket of the turnpike. A premeditated insult. I '11 have him 
 out ! I 'II make him apologize, or, what d' ye call it. 
 
 {Exit, D. L. u. 2 Ti.jfolloiced by Euston, 
 
 QUICK DROP. — END OF ACT II. 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 THE FETE CHAJIPETKE. — LOYE IN AN ARBOR. 
 
 The Banks of the Thames, at Twickenham, discovering a set Villa, 
 IR. 11., and grounds laid out and illuminated for a fete chamj)ttre. 
 — Richmond Hill is seen at a distance. — Characters, guests, ^c, 
 promenading. — Music behind, on n. u., playing a quadrille.— 
 Garden-seat on l. ii. 
 
 Enter Stan more, //*07« pavilion, r. ii. 
 
 Stan. Matters are becoming more serious than I intended. Lady 
 Daventry's open flirtations with Ardent are the talk of every one. 
 Bir William is nearly at his wits end. I never foresaw this. How- 
 ever, what 's done is done ; and I must back it up. Poor Percy, in 
 an agony, watched Norah whisking round the room, in the rapid 
 walti,, in every man's arms but his. {Music ceases.) By .Jove! 
 here lie comes. How has he got rid of her ladyship ? 
 
 Enter Ardent, //•o/h pavilion, r. u. 
 jir. Where is she? 
 Stan. Who? Lady Daventry ? 
 
22 -WEST END ; OB, [ACT III. 
 
 Ar. 'Pou my life, it "was too bad of you. Why didn't you come 
 and pick me up ? She has kept me all this time in a coiner, pegging 
 away at me with her matrimonial miseries, asking me if she wasn't 
 an angel, and — 
 
 Stan. Well? 
 
 Ar. Oh, of course I said yes, and wished her in heaven, with all 
 my heart. Quadrille began at last ; so I said I was engag.ed, and left 
 her with an unfinished tale of her sorrows, "to be continued in our 
 next," as the magazines have it. I say, what were you pouring into 
 Norah's ear so passionately? I won't have it. Fair play. If you 
 are going to enter the lists, and run for the Norah stakes, no sneak- 
 ing. 
 
 Stan. I was raising you in her estimation, till you were neai'ly out 
 of sight. 
 
 Ar. Oh ! How do I stand ? 
 
 Stan. The favorite ; but she is as wild as an Arab. 
 
 Ar. Exactly; — stops for a moment — snuffs tlie air — tosses up 
 her head, and on she goes again. I 've hopes, though. 
 
 Stan. Yes, but you are too modest. 
 
 Ar. Do you think so? 
 
 Staji. By half. Let me be your agent. 
 
 Ar. Thank ye all the same ; but I like my love homo-made. 
 
 Stan. As you please ; but I thought a mutual confidant prevents 
 quarrels, or cures them. Eh? I could prepare the way for you. 
 How do you feel ? 
 
 Ar. Like a boy lending another his apple, for a bite ; — you might 
 take a mouthful too much. 
 
 Stan. Did n't I introduce you ? 
 
 Ar. You did, thank you ; and you 've made me very miserable. 
 
 Stan. Why so? 
 
 Ar. I don't know, and I 'm out of breath with trying to find out. 
 I 'm pent up, and yet free. I possess all the restrained agony, and 
 wild, headlong temper of an indignant bottle of soda-water. I want 
 to get out. 
 
 Stan. You are mad ! 
 
 Ar. I look with fury on the passive indifference of humanity. The 
 world is half asleep, and forgets to turn quick enough. I should like 
 to see the sun running a race with its own shadow, and giving long 
 odds and a start, — something whiz — quick ! In fact I want a regu- 
 lar off-hand row in nature, to keep time with that in my heart ! 
 
 Stan. (L. II.) What does Norah say to all this ? 
 
 Ar. (r. II.) Oh, with her I am as tame as a pet poodle, and as 
 grave as a parrot. (Music behind n. ii. — waltz, very piano.) 
 
 Stan. Then here she comes, to take you down a peg. 
 
 Ar. Leave us, that 's a good fellow. I'll do as much for you, 
 another time, (x to l. h.) 
 
 Stan, {aside). I fear I have no chance. I '11 do the magnanimous. 
 — I '11 send Mrs. Comfort. I know she is anxious to tell Norah Lady 
 Daventry's wishes. As I see Norah is in love with Percy, I '11 give 
 her up to him. Ah ! I am too good-natured for this world ! {He 
 (joes lip, and exit n, H., into pavilion.) 
 
 Enter Noraif, r. ii. 2 e. 
 
SCENE I.] THE imSII HEIEESS. 23 
 
 Ar. My dear Miss O'Connor ! I was seeibg JM. 
 
 JVorah. Well, here I am. What do you want? 
 
 Ar. Nothing particular. 
 
 JVor. Then you ai*e easily satisfied. 
 
 Ar. You are fond of waltzing. 
 
 j\or. It depends upon whom I am waltzing with. At present, I 
 think this place cooler and pleasanter. (Aside) I could give another 
 reason. — I 'd rather walk here with him than waltz with a dozen al! 
 at once. But however, I '11 keep that to myself. 
 
 Ar. May I hope you will favor me with the next ? 
 
 JVor. Oh yes, two or three, if you like. But let us walk a minute, 
 to rest ourselves. {Music ceases.) 
 
 Ar. You seem fond of society. (They icalk.) 
 
 J^''or. Yes, it is only within the last two or three days that it has 
 become endurable. 
 
 Ar. (aside). Just the time she has known me ! (Aloud) Look 
 now at the ball-room. — The old ladies stuck against the walls, like 
 placards ofiering rewards for matrimony and an establishment. The 
 young ones like a flock of sheep, hustling over one another, round a 
 butcher's door, wondering who '11 be taken off first. Then come your 
 professed dancers, genei'ally roues, un peu passe. 
 
 JYor. I saw an old gentleman, just now, tottering across the room, 
 with difficulty. I ran to help him to a chair. Bless you, the poor 
 dear old man wanted me to waltz. Ha, ha ! Oh well, commend me 
 to Kilkenny, before St. James's. 
 
 ..?/•. I never was there. 
 
 ./^''or. Indeed ! 
 
 Ar. Never in my life. 
 
 A'or. Then you will never know what living is, till you do go 
 there. The sky is bluer ; the grass is greener ; it never rains but 
 when you want it ; the ditches are wider, and the foxes have longei 
 brushes than in any other county in Ireland ! Oh I you must go 
 there. You will never come out of it alive. 
 
 Ar. That 's a very strong recommendation. 
 
 ATir. You '11 be killed by the height of good living. If you at- 
 tempt to leave the place before Heaven takes you, there 's not a man, 
 woman, or child there who would not consider himself, herself, or it- 
 self personally insulted. Only take care and don't get shot before 
 you 're tired of it. 
 
 Ar. Shot ! what for? 
 
 J\'or. Oh, twenty things ; — accident, or diversion, or — 
 
 Ar. Thank you ; I prefer a natural death. 
 
 J\''or. Sure isn't that a natural death? Where 's the good of dy- 
 ing of a fever? Faith, if you did, maybe they'd hold, an inquest 
 over you ; it is so mighty rare. Say no more, now. To-morrow I '11 
 write to Pierce Delaney, and bid him expect you. I '11 tell him to 
 give you my horse. White Lightning. Oh, he's a beauty ! — bright 
 bay, and black legs. To get on him is impracticable, and Vi'heu 
 mounted, to keep him down upon the earth impossible. 'T was Pierce 
 und the boys taught me to ride. 
 Ar. Boys ! Are they young men ? 
 J^or. Oh, pretty fair ; — from fifty to seventy. When I was ten 
 
21 WEST EXD •, OE, [ACT HL 
 
 years old he put me on the back of a hunter, bid me hold fost by my- 
 self, and keep on tight ; so that by the time I was fifteen there wasn't 
 a quadruped in the five counties, possessed of a back, that I feared to 
 run at a six-foot stone fence, — ay, and lend him a fifth leg to help 
 him over it, if necessary. Oh I you will enjoy it. 
 
 Ar, But I should like some kind of an introduction. 
 
 JVb?*. You are your own introduction. The Delaneys' door has 
 Jain open since the days of Brian Boroihme, and wouldn't shut now, 
 if he wanted it. There 's the cup and the trencher, hand and heart, 
 and cead mile failte for all ; and if you choose to live there forever, 
 why what would prevent ye? And when, after you're dead, is not 
 Kilkenny church the oldest and finest in Ireland ? And would n't the 
 Delauey give you your choice of the best of it ? Ah, be sure he would, 
 and welcome. 
 
 Ar. I '11 buy an estate there directl3^ 
 
 JVor. Do; there's plenty to sell — more 's the pity. But when 
 you 've got it, take my advice — keep it. 
 
 Ar. I 'd place a lady as steward. She would be lenient, (jf 
 \}ause — walking. ) 
 
 J^''or. Yes, too lenient. 
 
 A r. How so ? 
 
 JVor. It 's not much rent you 'd get out of it. Ila, ha ! 
 
 Ar. "Why not? 
 
 JSTor. Oh, you don't know the Kilkenny boys. After half an 
 hour's comedtherin, as they call it, the poor girl would imagine her- 
 self paid, and give a quittance into the bargain. 
 
 Ar. Indeed ! I must take a lesson in that art. 
 
 JCor. It 's all taught in one word. 
 
 Ar. And what's that? 
 
 JVor. Blarney. 
 
 Ar. Ha, ha ! (Aside) Now's my time. My soul's in arms, and 
 eager for the fray. I '11 try a little ruse first. {Aloud) How grieved 
 I am that I shall be obliged to curtail our acquaintanceship. 
 
 JVbr. Oh ! why? why? 
 
 Ar. 1 leave England to-morrow. 
 
 J\or. Nonsense ! 
 
 Ar. Business of importance, 
 
 JVor. 0, I 'm so sorry ! Can't you send ? 
 
 Ar. No. 
 
 J^^'or. Well, that 's always my luck. — The instant I find any one I 
 care for, they 're sure to be olF. There was poor Terence Fita- 
 gerald — 
 
 Ar. But had he business of very great importance ? 
 
 JVoj". Yes, very, — he died. 
 
 Ar. One thing would induce me to stop. 
 
 J\ror. "What is it? 
 
 Ar. If you would ask me to remain. 
 
 JVor. Oh, sure I have ! I do ! Stop — do stop ! 
 
 Ar. For your sake ? 
 
 JVor. Eh? 
 
 Ar. {draivinr; nearer). Say remaic f:r rzy sal:; 
 
 JS'hr. I don't understand you. 
 
SCENE 1.] THE misn HEIRESS. 25 
 
 Ar. (aside). What naivete ! Another girl wculd have ordered a 
 trousseau and printed cards, for half as much. (Aloud) Must I be 
 explicit? Dearest Norah ! you are the only inducement I have to re- 
 main in London. Had I not adiope — 
 
 J\''or. (quidlxj, and half aside). Oh ! I understand you now. ^ 
 
 Ar. I love you, Norah, passionately ! — with such an adoration as 
 a nature wild as mine is only capable of conceiving 1 Speak ; — you 
 are your own mistress. 
 
 JVcr Ah ! Do you know I am penniless and an orphan ? 
 
 Ar. A double reason to accept my wealth and protection. 
 
 JSTor. (with naivett). Are you sure you know what you are about? 
 
 Ar. Do not hold me in suspense ! Give me — 
 
 JVor. Sure, I have nothing to give. 
 
 Ar. Your heart. 
 
 J^or. That 's yours already. 
 
 Ar. I 'm in heaven ! (Kisses her.) 
 
 JS'or. No ; husli ! you are in Twickenham (Music, piano, he- 
 hind R. H.) 
 
 Enter Mes. Co'sitojx.t, from pavilioii, r. ii. 
 
 Mrs. C. Oh, dear ! dear ! how grieved I am ! I '11 speak another 
 time. I — (Going.) 
 
 JVor. Star ! 
 
 Mrs. C. (R. H.) I saw nothing, mind, — positively nothing ! How 
 cruel was I to interx'upt the gentleman in the freshness of his ardor ! 
 
 JVbr. (c.) His ardor will keep, ma'am, longer than your silence. 
 
 Mrs. C. You may confide in my discretion. 
 
 JVor. But we have nothing to confide. 
 
 Mrs. C. Oh ! I crave a moment of your dear time. Ahem ! it is 
 rather a delicate subject. 
 
 JVb?-. Then pray end it as soon as possible. 
 
 Mrs. C. You may have observed that Lady Daventry is of rather 
 a fickle temper ? 
 
 JVor. So it has often struck me. 
 
 Mrs. C. Sir William Daventry is anything but an ill-looking 
 man. 
 
 J\''or. So it has often struck me. 
 
 Mrs. C. And you are very pretty. 
 
 JVor. So it has often str — I mean, that 's a matter of taste. 
 
 Mrs. C. Lady Daventry has become ridiculously jealous of her old 
 husband. 
 
 Ar. (l. n.) Do you mean that she is jealous of old Greenoaks and 
 Norah ? that is, I — Miss O'Connor? 
 
 JVor. Never mind ; tell me at once ; — does Lady Daventry con- 
 eider me an intruder in her house ? 
 
 Mrs. C. My dear love, a few words apart will explain her reason 
 for jealousy. ( Music ceases. ) 
 
 J\"or. No, T want no reason. You have said enough. 
 
 Mrs. C. But, my dear — 
 
 JVor. I will seek Sir William. (Going up, R. h.) 
 
 Ar. So will I. 
 
 Afrs. C. But he doesn't know a word of it. 
 3 
 
I 
 
 26 "WEST END ; OS, [A.CT IIL 
 
 J\''or. Faith, then he shall I {Exit into pavilion, R, H 
 
 jjr. Yes, he shall ; — (x c.) — faith, then he shall ! {MusiCfpi- 
 atiOf behind k. n.) 
 
 Enter Stanuore, front pavilion, b. h. 
 
 Oh, Stanmore, "will you ask Fuss to return the letter I gave him this 
 morning. Get it from him, will you? thank you. 
 
 {Exit into pavilion, B. H 
 
 Enter Sir William Daventry and Fuss, r. n. 2 e. 
 
 SITUATIONS, 
 it. H. stanmore. Fuss. Sir William. Mrs. Comfort. L. H. 
 
 Bav. I am determined to do something horrible, to somebody. 
 Things cannot continue in this state. I cannot remain in the room, a 
 witness to her outrageous conduct. 
 
 Mrs. C. It c€f tainly is flagrant. 
 
 Stan. Fuss, Ardent says you need not deliver that letter he gave 
 you this morning. {Music ceases.) 
 
 Fuss. Letter, letter ; oh yes ! Ton my life, I had quite forgotten 
 it! Here it is. Let me see, who was it intended for? — someone 
 here ; yes. Oh ! Lady Daventry, wasn't it? 
 
 Mrs. C. Lady Daventry ! 
 
 Fuss. He said take the first opportunity to deliver it. Soldo — 
 there it is. {Gives it to Sir William.) 
 
 JDav. Wrote to my wife I 
 
 Stan, {aside). Ha, ha ! this is Fuss's perfection of a blunder ! 
 
 Mrs. C. What can it contain? 
 
 Fuss. I think he mentioned — a — urn — oh yes, it contains his 
 lieart — his soul — his all ! 
 
 Dav. The devil it does ! Then by your leave — {Opens it^ and 
 reads) ^^Madam, you will doubtless be surprised, but I trust not Of- 
 fended, by receiving this deferential address, from one -whom you 
 cannot look on but as a stranger.''^ Oh ! 
 
 Fuss. Ah! 
 
 Dav. I thought there was something at the bottom of it. 
 
 Stan, {aside). And a confounded deal moi-e than you suspect. 
 
 Dav. {reading). '*If unacceptable, pardon it as a mere madness, 
 rather than condemn it as a wanton insult." Now, that 's remark- 
 ably elegant and respectful ! 
 
 Mrs. C. Very! Goon. {Looks over his shoulder, with anxiety.) 
 
 Dav. " As a wanton insult ! " I admire that excessively 1 
 
 Mrs. C. Pray go on I 
 
 Dav. " Wanton insult ! " Eh ? — what? . Oh Lord ! 
 
 Stan. Now for it. 
 
 Dav. {reading). ^'Loveliest of created beings, I adore you to dis- 
 traction ! " 
 
 Fuss. That 's rather strong. 
 
 Dav. {reading). ^^jYow you have stolen nry heart, give it me back, 
 or take the rest.'" Where am I? 
 
 Mrs. C. I hope Lady Daventry has given him no encouragement. 
 
 JDav. She has ! sb* has ! Oh, my head is getting giddy I 
 
BOENE 1.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 27 
 
 Fuss. Never mind that, if it gets nothing else. 
 
 Dav. My dear friend, lend me your advice. 
 
 Funs. Lend ! I despise the word, sir ! I '11 give it you. 
 
 Dav. Thank you. 
 
 Fuss. Don't mention it ; you are quite welcome. I have more than 
 I want, and it never was of the slightest use to me. 
 
 Dav. My wife must have encouraged him, or he never would have 
 dared to write that. {Music, piaiio, behind R. u.) 
 
 Mrs. C. Here she conies. Perhaps you 'd {ylancing at Sir Wil- 
 liam) like to speak to her? AYho is she looking for? Oh, Mr. Ar- 
 dent, I suppose. How very indiscreet, I must say ! Major, am I not 
 engaged to you? 
 
 Fuss. I quite forgot. Yes ; allow me. 
 
 \_Exeunt Mrs. Comfort and Fuss, into pavilion, b. h. 
 
 Dav. I see Ardent coming. Keep him off, Stanmore ; and tell him 
 if he does not desist from his obvious flirtatious with my wife, that — 
 
 Slan. He must take the consequences. 
 
 Dav. Exactly. 
 
 Enter Ardent, //•o??i pavilion, r. n. 
 
 Ar. (c.) My dear Stanmore ! I cannot escape that devil of a 
 woman, Lady Daventry 1 She meets me at every corner, while Norah 
 is invisible. 
 
 Enter Lady 'DxyEJUiHY, from pavilion, r. h. 
 
 Here she is again, by Jove I 
 
 [Exeunt Stanmore and Ardent, into pavilion, b. h. 
 
 Dav. There she is. {Music ceases.) How lovely she looks ! I 
 will not show her Ardent's letter. It might put her on her guard. 
 
 Lad^j D. Well, Sir William, have you quite concluded your flirta- 
 tion with Miss O'Connor? 
 
 Dav. Don't be ridiculous. 
 
 Lady D. (R. ii.) Sir William Daventry. 
 
 Dav. Ma'am. 
 
 Lady D. Will you answer me one question? 
 
 Dav. To the best of my powei'. 
 
 Lady D. Do you consider me a fool, or worse ? 
 
 Dav. Candidly? 
 
 Lady D. Candidly ! 
 
 Dav. Well then, candidly — I consider you worse. 
 
 Lady D. Not so blind but I can see through your iniquities. 
 
 Dav. Good gracious! I've been doing something horrible, and I 
 tlon't know what it is I 
 
 Lady D. I pity the victims of your wickedness, and despise you ! 
 
 Dav. You are very kind. 
 
 Lady D. Do you dare to look me in the face ? 
 
 Dav. Yes ; and a very good looking face it is. Rather cloudy just 
 now, though. 
 
 Lady D. {aside). I will give him a hint. Listen, sir ! I 've found 
 you out. {Whispers.) 
 
 Dav. Have you? {Whispers.) 
 
 Lady D. I don't wish to make your horrid atrocities public 
 
2b WEST EXD ; OR, [ACT III. 
 
 Dav. Thank you. 
 
 Lady D. Hush ! 
 
 JDav. Eh? 
 
 Lady D. She has come to town. ( Whisper ii^.) 
 
 Lav. {whispering in same manner). Has she, though? Well, you 
 do astonish me. 
 
 Lady D. And I know it. Now, Sir William, what have you to 
 say? 
 
 Dav. I hope she 's well. 
 
 Lady D. (aside). I see, I see ; he'll brazen it out. Nothing but 
 iny going to Lord Stanmore, and convicting him to his face, will make 
 him own the truth. He is case-hardened. Oh ! that I could retali- 
 ate in any way, and make him jealous by any means ! 
 
 Lav. And now. Lady Daventry, that you have emptied that pack 
 of nonsense out of your temper, permit me to speak, and to inform 
 you, definitively, that I will not sanction your intimacy with Mr. 
 Ardent. 
 
 Lady D. (aside). It is coming, I do believe. (Aloud) Nor I yours 
 with iNliss O'Connor. 
 
 Lav. Pooh ! she is a little girl ! 
 
 Lady D. And he is a little boy, if you come to that. 
 
 Dav. Yes, madam ; but little boys are frequently very dangerous 
 members of society. 
 
 Lady D. And so are old men, sir. 
 
 Dav. In short, I shall forbid him the house. 
 
 Lady D. And I '11 do the same by Norah. 
 
 Dav. Dare you? 
 
 Lady D. Ay, Sir William, anything I You do not know me yet, I 
 Bee. 
 
 Dav. I see I don't. I only wish I had known as much three months 
 ago. 
 
 Lady D. (aside). If I can only keep cool, now. 
 
 Dav. You are the common point and talk of the town already. 
 
 Lady D. Talk of the town ! Explain yourself ! 
 
 Dav. Well, if you will have it out, 1 say that if that young scamp 
 does n't follow up the hint that you have given to him, why he 's a 
 cooler blooded man than I was at his age ; and now you have it, Lady 
 Daventry. 
 
 Lady D. (aside). He's getting too hot. (Aloud) Do you dare to 
 suspect my honor? 
 
 Dav. Honor ! Ha, ha ! 
 
 Lady D. I dare you to prove your words ! 
 
 Dav. Oh ! Lady Daventry, the woman who outrages every feeling 
 of love to her husband, and respect to herself ; who flirts, who ogles, 
 and lives upon the very brink of shame, lacks but an object to plunge 
 headlong into eternal ruin ! ( Waltz, piano, behind R. h.) 
 
 Lady D. (aside). Now, doesn't that sound like innocence? 'Pon 
 my life, it 's wonderful ! I hear a waltz commencing. (Aloud) Mr. 
 Ardent has what you want, to appreciate me properly, — he has 
 brains. 
 
 Dav. Has he? Then he shan't have 'cm long, if there 's a pistol 
 to be had. Damme, but I '11 equalize our pretensions in that respect. 
 
JJCKNfc I.] TlIK IRISH HEIRESS. 29 
 
 Lady D. (uside). I Tvish I could see Ardent. No matter; I'll 
 pretend. {Aloud) Ali, Mr. Ardent ! I had forgotten my engagement. 
 What a delicious thing a waltz is ! {Aside) That 's severe. {Aloud) 
 Have I kept you waiting? I 'm very sorry. {Music ceases.) 
 
 [Exit into pjvilion, R. n. 
 
 Dav. What can she mean by her inuendoes : "I know all" — 
 "she has come to town" — "my depravities"? It's that horrid 
 woman, again. That Mrs. Comfort has been snivelling at her, for a 
 wretched woman, and she believes it. I 'II go and explain. No, hang 
 me if I do ! I 'm the oifended party. I '11 watch her closely. ( Waltz ^ 
 very piano, behind R. ii.) I •would scorn to play the spy ; but where 
 is she ? Hallo ! there she is, waltzing in the arms of a ten- foot guards- 
 man. What a disgraceful position for a married woman ! I say, you 
 sir, I 'm in a fever ! I wonder if he has a wife. I '11 find out ; and 
 if h3 has, I 'II — I 'II — I 'II waltz with her, and be revenged ! 
 
 Enter ^TAnmoREf from pavilion, r. h. 
 
 You have told Ardent that I consider his flirtations with my wife in- 
 Bulting? 
 
 Stan. (r. h.) I did. He laughed, and sung something about kiss- 
 ing and prattling with fifty fair maids. 
 
 Dav. Let him keep to his maids, then, and leave my wife alone. 
 However, we shall see if the young gentleman can fight, as well aa 
 sing. Request him to name his time, place, and weapons. 
 
 Stan. I think it right to inform you that he has some deep scheme 
 afoot with respect to your ward. 
 
 Dav. What the devil ! — both at once ! 
 
 Stan. I fear that Lady Daventry has become jealous of his atten- 
 tions to Norah. 
 
 Enter Ardent, hastily and out of breath, from pavilion, n. h. 
 
 Ar. I 've had three hair-breadth escapes from that imminently 
 deadly woman. Beg pardon; — never mind. Here's a letter from 
 Norah — I mean Miss O'Connor. {Gives letter to Davehthy, and 
 goes up.) 
 
 Dav. {opening letter , and reading). ^^Mydear Sir William, Lady 
 Daventry has intimated to vie that she considers my presence under 
 her roof as an intrusion. 1 have therefore withdrawn, Mrs. Com- 
 fort having kindly offered me the use of hers. Do not blame Kate. 
 Your affectionate JVorah." What can this mean? 
 
 Stan. Ask Mr. Ardent to explain it. 
 
 Dav. What shall I do ? Norah must return. 
 
 Stan. On no account. Let me remain here in her place, and my 
 house in town is at her service. Mrs. Comfort can live there with 
 her, for propriety's sake, until this quarrel is made up. 
 
 Dav. Stay ; I '11 put Kate to the test. I will tell her that it is my 
 intention to accompany my ward back to Ireland. I will give her 
 full scope with that young scamp, while I, quietly domiciled in your 
 house, may watch the efl'ects. 
 
 Stan. Excellent! 
 
 Ar. Here she comes again ! {Runs doxon, r. ii.) This is too 
 
30 WEST END ; OR, [AOT IT. 
 
 bad I Staa, protect me ! Sir William, I promised Miss O'Connor to 
 get an answer. {Exeunt Akdent and Stanmore, into pavilion^ r. h. 
 
 Enter Lady Daventry, r. h. 2 e. 
 
 Bav. Read that letter. 
 
 Lady D. {looking over letter). Well? 
 
 Dav. I leave this house to-night, to conduct that ill-used girl to 
 the home in Ireland where she was beloved as she ought to be. 
 
 Lady D. Yes ; and you will lead her from the home in England 
 where she was beloved as she ought not to be. 
 
 Dav. Will you recall my ward ? 
 
 Lady D. No ! 
 
 Dav. Nor ask her pardon? 
 
 Lady D. Never ! 
 
 Dav. Then mark me : here we separate forever ! 
 
 Lady D. Very well ; — very well, sir. {Aside) Ah ! what have I 
 done? 
 
 Dav. (l. h.) The deeds shall be prepared. 
 
 Lady D. Be it so. Ha, ha ! 
 
 Dav. If I leave you now, it is never to return ! 
 
 Lady D. (r. h.) Go ! 
 
 Dav. You have said it. [Exit, l. h. u. e. 
 
 (Lady Daventry' attempts to speak, but falls fainting on a scat, with 
 face to L. u.) 
 
 Reenter Ardent, e. h. 2 e. 
 
 Jir. {going to her). Did you call me? {She turns round, hastily 
 and haughtily. — Ardent runs oJfR. u. 2 e., alarmed.) 
 
 QUICK drop. — end of ACT III. 
 
 ACT IV. 
 
 THE APPOINTMENT. 
 
 Jl Dining-room in Stanmore's House. — Tormentor-door, practical, 
 R. H. 1 e., with key in it. — Tormentor-door, practical, l. n. 1 e., 
 to open on stage. — Door, practical, r. h. 2 e., with key in it. — 
 Door, practical, l. ii. 2 e. — An interior room, icith massive console 
 table, chandeliers, and sofa, is seen through large folding doors, c. 
 — Stanmore and Daventry discovered at table, in front, over 
 their wine, taking it very easy, with their legs reposing on chairs, 
 from which the ladies are supposed to have just withdrawn. 
 
 Dav. {partially intoxicated). Pass the wine. 
 
 Stan. We shall have to adjourn presently to Mrs. Comfort and Miss 
 O'Connor. Allow me to prescribe moderation. 
 
 Dav. Suppose we brew. Let 's have punch. After Madeira like 
 this I 'm wonderful. But you never saw me after punch. The ef- 
 fects are supei'natural. Ring for the causes. 
 
 Stan No, no. 
 
BCENE I.] THK IRISH IIEIRESS. 81 
 
 Dav. Do see me after punch ! — do ! 
 
 Stan. "lis getting late ; time flies ! 
 
 Dav. Does he? I wish time would take my wife with him. I suy, 
 Stanny, do you think she suspects that I am here in London, and in 
 your house 't 
 
 Stan. Has not the remotest idea of it. She imagines you are in 
 Dublin by this time. 
 
 Dav. And Norah ? 
 
 Stan. Is with you. 
 
 Dav. Can we rely on Mrs. Comfort's silence? 
 
 Stan. Implicitly. 
 
 Enter Lexoir, d. l. h. 1 e. 
 
 Lc. Madame Comfort and Miss O'Connor say coffee is waiting, my 
 lors. 
 
 Stan, (aside). Thank heaven ! Come, Daventry. 
 
 Dav. Shall I? 
 
 Stan. If you can. 
 
 Dav. That Madeira is superb ! One more glass, I '11 go. (At- 
 tempts to rise, but fails.) It 's diflBcult. 
 
 Stan. It is, very. Take my arm. (Coming forward xciih Dav- 
 entry.) 
 
 Dav. (r. II.) I hate a man who gets drunk. 
 
 Stan. (l. II.) So do I. 
 
 Dav. Why doesn't he stop, when he can't go on? 
 
 Stan. Exactly. 
 
 Dav. You have taken too much, Stanny. 
 
 Stan. No. 
 
 Dav. You have, you dog ! — you have ! Let me advise you 
 against it, my dear boy, Stanny. I love you — but don't stagger — 
 hold fti-st by me — there. Here's a fellow that positively wanted 
 punch — punch - 
 
 Stan, (aside). I fear he is too far gone for the ladies. 
 
 Dav. Go to bed, and I '11 apologize for you to the coffee ; or, if you 
 will go into the room, don't speak to the women. Sit down ; I '11 
 carry it off for you. 
 
 Stan, (aside). He 's in a very high state of preservation. 
 
 Dav. Did you ever hear me speak ! Mr. Chairman ! — Mr. Chair- 
 man ! (trying to get vp), I rise with great hesitation and difficulty, 
 and a degree of backwardness — (Staggering.) 
 
 Stan. This way. 
 
 Dav. (suddenly becoming pathetic). I 'ra a villain ! 
 
 Stan. You are. Come. 
 
 Dav. We are all a set of villains ! 
 
 Sta7i. We are ! we are ! — yes. 
 
 Dav. Stanny, I don't know how it is, but somehow after dinner, 
 which I look upon as the most philosophical era in the day, when the 
 Internal man is well packed, and incapable of containing any more, 
 the ideas get on the top, and, taking a bird's-eye view of humanity, 
 they begin to perceive the utter futility of all mundane things. Do 
 you know, I can distinctly perceive the rotation of the globe on its owt 
 «.i|«— ■^' " \ctly. 
 
82 WEST EAD ; OR, [act IV. 
 
 Stan. How odd ! Hold fast, there, or it may carry you away. 
 
 Bav. Who cares if it did, so it didn't carry me to my wife. How 
 pitifully pathetic I feel I — how sadly affectionate ! Poor Kate ! — dear 
 Norah ! — adored Stanny ! I'm but a man, after all. I could cry 
 now at anything. Give me something to cry at. I could shed tears 
 on the spot. 
 
 Stan. Could you? 
 
 Dav. Show me anything — I don't care what it is — and I '11 cry 
 at it. 
 
 Stan. Here, Lenoir, the sofa. {Points c. — Lenoir runs up /o 
 O. p.) Lie down there, for half an hour. 
 
 Dav. I will. 
 
 Stan, And dream of your wife. 
 
 Dav. Ah ! isn't she a devilish nice woman? What a lovely crea- 
 ture she is, eh ! ( Goes up 7vilh Stanmore to c, d. ) 
 
 Stan. Beautiful! {Puts Sir William on sofa, c, a^id closes 0, 
 doors.) 
 
 Dav. Stanny, my boy — {dropping ciff") — Stanny. 
 
 Stan, {opening c. doors). Eh? 
 
 Dav. Pass the wine — and let's have punch — {softer) — punch 
 . — {softer) — punch I 
 
 Stan. He's off! {Closes c. doors.) 
 
 Dav. {louder). Stanny ! 
 
 Stan, {opening c. doors). Ah I 
 
 Dav. Punch — punch. 
 
 Stan. That was only the last flash. He is out. 
 
 Le. Oui, milor, punch is go out. {Closes c. doors.) 
 
 Stan. (l. h., advancing). Good ! And now, Lenoir, did you meet 
 that — you know who — Kate ? 
 
 Le. (r. h.) Oui^ milor. 
 
 Sta7i. You have prevented her from coming here for the present, I 
 hope. She has no suspicion? 
 
 Le. No more than Sir William, there, vid de punch. 
 
 Sta7i. I don't think she can well discover me, under my change of 
 name, which, luckily, she has been kept in ignorance of. You should, 
 however, to save chance, have put her on the wrong tack. 
 
 Le. Oui, milor, I did. I told her you was abroad in China, fight- 
 ing for tea. She leave de house weeping ; — beautifully I — with two 
 little childs ! What sentiment ! — what moralite ! 
 
 Stan. Where has she gone? 
 
 Le. Into apartment vich I procure for her. 
 
 Stan. She did not recognize you ? 
 
 Le. I think she remember my face. 
 
 Stan. It would be difficult to forget such a rascally — 
 
 Le. Milor is always right. Monsieur Supple has been waiting for 
 long time, down in your study. He wish to see you. 
 
 Stan. Supple, at this hour ! W^hat can he want? Show him up. 
 
 Le. Oui, milor. (x to l. h.) 
 
 Sit an. Stay. 
 
 Le. Oui, milor. 
 
 Stan. Lenoir, you know I have always promised that when I mar» 
 ried I would provide for you. 
 
5CI;NJ5 I.] THE IRISU HKIRESS. 08 
 
 Le. Lord Stanmore's promises are never forgot — by mc. 
 
 Stan. I am about to wed. 
 
 Le. Vraiment ! 
 
 Stan. I intend to give you five liundred pounds. 
 
 Le. A sentiment worthy of monsieur alone. 
 
 Stan. But you must leave this country. Look you, this present 
 wife of mine may interfere with my interests. Now, as you have per- 
 suaded her of my absence from Europe, on pretence of following me, 
 you must convey her to India. A vessel sails from Portsmouth in four 
 days. I will remit regularly to her there, and she can marry if she 
 pleases. She will have numerous offers, and rich ones, I have no 
 doubt. But remember, Lenoir, break the news of our false marriage 
 to her by degrees, and treat her with all respect. Play none of your 
 tricks upon me. I '11 have eyes upon you. You know me. 
 
 Le. But, milor, five hundred is so leetle to take care of madame. 
 Oh ! and dere are two little childs. 
 
 Stan, (aside). Humph ! I had forgotten the children ! 
 
 Le. I have a wife in La belle France, which I must leave behind, 
 which I have not seen, since two months after marriage, for twelve 
 yeai'S — pauvre Angelique ! Five hundred pounds is too little. Say 
 one hundred pounds for throw in each of de leettle childs. 
 
 Stan. Well, well ! 
 
 Le. Seven hundred pounds, for tons les trois ! Eh, bien ! j'ac- 
 cepte I ma pauvre Angelique ! you will break your little heart. Your 
 Francois has had more love to serve monsieur dan to return to you. 
 
 {Exit, D. L. u. 1 E. 
 
 Stan. Now, if Supple will undertake to see this affair through, I 
 shall rid myself of Lenoir, 
 
 Reenter Lenoir, showing in Supplk, d. l. u. 1 e., and exit t>. l. h. 1 e. 
 
 Stan. My dear sir ! I am delighted to see you. How 's your ami* 
 able family ? 
 
 Sup. I am not married, my lord. 
 
 Stan. Oh! I forgot. However, that might not follow. I — no 
 mattei'. To what may 1 ascribe the pleasure of your visit? 
 
 Sup. Hush ! Excuse me. {He steps lightly to door, l. h. 1 e., 
 which he throws open suddenly, and Lenoir tumbles in on his face.) 
 
 Le. Sacre bleu ! Be dam ! what betise ! 
 
 Stan. What were you doing, sir? 
 
 Le. I was preventing rascal from listening at the door, of course. 
 
 Stan. By stopping up the key-hole with your own ear. 
 
 Le. Can milor' suspect my morale ? Bah ! what horrible ! — 
 ventre bleu ! 
 
 Stan. Leave the room ; and remember, if I suspect again that any 
 one is near that door, I warn you I will practise with my pistols at 
 the key-hole. 
 
 Le. Bah ! what betise to open the door like dat ! What a dam non- 
 sense. [Exit, D. L. H. 1 E. 
 
 Stan. Now proceed. Can I do anything to serve you? 
 
 Sup. Materially. Can you oblige our firm with five thousand 
 pounds? 
 . Stan.: You take my breath away ! 
 
84 Vest e>d ; or, [act iv. 
 
 Sup. We can mortgage. 
 
 Stan. I dare say you can. 
 
 Sup. In short, you see, it must be had. 
 
 St(m. Must! 
 
 Sup. Yes ; I 'm very particular in a careful selection of words ; as 
 in affairs of importance I conceive them to be of as much consequence 
 as a careful choice of actions. 
 
 Slan. You mean that I am in your power? 
 
 Sop. A harsh expression. 
 
 Stan. Well, to be brief, there is some private business which I 
 want executed ; and if you will consent to do it, and give up to me tho 
 documents relative to my — 
 
 Sup. Exactly — 
 
 Stan. I will give you fifteen thousand pounds. 
 
 Sup. My dear lord, now you take away my breath I Proceed. 
 Oh ! that every client had such a profundity of sound sense. You 
 are a loss to the bar. 
 
 Stan. I must tax your patience with a history. 
 
 Sup. All in the way of business. What are the facts? 
 
 Stan. Look you ; five years ago, while on a grouse shooting excur 
 Bion in the Highlands, with some friends, a sudden storm drove me to 
 seek shelter in a cottage, in the mistress of which I beheld the loveliest 
 creature the warmest fancy could picture. I continually visited the 
 spot. I fell in love with her, and she returned my passion. I would 
 have gladly made her my wife, but she was not eligible ; so — 
 
 Sup. You deceived her. 
 
 Stan. No ; she was immaculate ; till by a counterfeit marriage — 
 
 Sup. I know the rest. 
 
 Stan. Now, this person may annoy me. But I think I have hit 
 on a plan of inducing her to leave the country. She imagines that I 
 am abroad. Lenoir has consented to accompany and protect her ; but 
 I want some one to see the affair through. Now j'ou are in possession 
 of all the facts, you will know how to act. 
 
 Sup. Allow me time to consider. 
 
 Stan. Fifteen thousand pounds — 
 
 Sup. It is great — 
 
 Stan. Put out on bills at thirty per cent — 
 
 Sup. Too great — 
 
 Stan. Is four thousand five hundred a year. 
 
 Sup. Give me her name. 
 
 Stan. There 's her address. ( Gives card.) 
 
 Sup. {reading). ^^ Catherine Grahame! " {Falls back into a 
 chair.) 
 
 Stan. What's the matter? Are you ill? 
 
 Sup. A fit only. I have them often. No matter ; 't is past. 
 
 Stan. How pale you look ! 
 
 Sup. So do you. 
 
 Enter Le^'Oir, d. l, h. 1 e. 
 
 Le. Mr. Ardent. 
 
 Sup. Where is she? (Looks at card.) I see, I see. I wish you a 
 good evening. [Exit, d. l. n, 1 b 
 
SCENE I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. 3fi 
 
 Le. Milor, I think we must get another sofa for Mr. Ardent. 
 Stan. Wh-at 's the matter with him? 
 
 Enter Ardent, half tipsy ^ and equipped for travelling, u. l. h. 1 e. 
 
 Ar. I know what you are going to say. I have heard all at thfl 
 elubs. They talk of nothing else but Norah's elopement with Sir Wil- 
 liam. I 've just a minute to say farewell. 
 
 Slan. Where the deuce ai-e you off to ? 
 
 Ar. To Ireland, in pursuit of Norah. Goodbye! 
 
 Stan. Stay, I intreat you, you hot-headed fellow ! 
 
 Ar. I can't. The mail-train starts in eleven minutes. (Pulls out 
 watcK) 
 
 Sian. Hear me for five. 
 
 Ar. Give you two and a half. Fire away. 
 
 Stan. Have you made love to Norah? 
 
 Ar. I have. One gone. 
 
 Stan. And she has accepted you ? 
 
 Ar. Of course. Two. 
 
 Stan. I pity you ! 
 
 Ar. And a half. Pity me because I shall have the loveliest woman 
 in London for my wife ! I 'm off. Keep your pity to curl your hair 
 with. Good bye ! 
 
 Stan. Stay ; she is in this house. 
 
 Ar. Who? Norah? Impossible I What do you mean ? 
 
 Stan. Listen with patience, for one moment. Sir William has con- 
 fided the whole affair to me. 
 
 Ar. Can I believe my senses? 
 
 Stan. Norah is now within that room. (Points l. h. 2 E.) Nei- 
 ther he nor she have left the country. 
 
 Ar. I *m paralyzed ! Look you, Stan, you know who you are deal- 
 ing with. If this be not true — 
 
 Stan. If you doubt me I will send her to you ; and then you can 
 form your own conclusions. (Aside) Now he will do something rash ; 
 her Irish blood will fire up and consume their acquaintance, and then 
 I shall have a chance. \^Exit, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 A r. (sitting down). Where am I? I'm stunned. ( <Sccs Lenoir.) 
 Oh ! are you there ? Come here, you rascally French box of lies. 
 (Seizes him.) Now look ; if you dare to conti'adict me, or tell me a 
 falsehood , I '11 throw you out of the wiqdow ! Do you hear ? 
 
 Le. Oui, monsieui". 
 
 Ar. Is there a lady in the house ? 
 
 Le. Oui, monsieur. 
 
 Ar. False! 
 
 Le. Oui, monsieur. 
 
 Ar. Is Miss O'Connor here? 
 
 Le. Oui, monsieur ; here she comes. 
 
 Ar. The devil ! Bring me a bottle of soda-water. 
 
 Le. Oui, monsieur. \_Exitt d. l. h. 1 e. 
 
 Ar. Can it be possible — that she — my Norah — can be so 
 wretchedly deceitful as to accept the last flicker of the light of thar 
 rMcars love, when here / am blazing a perfect illumination t 
 
86 WKST KND ; OR, [act IV 
 
 Enter Norau, d. l. ii. 2 e. 
 
 Oh, what a deceitful thing human nature is ! — the lovely Norali ! 
 
 J\''or. Meaning nie. 
 
 .^r. My dearest Norah ! {starling up) then you have not deserted 
 me? 
 
 JS''or. Deserted ! What do you mean? 
 
 ^r. Why was I kept in the dark ? 
 
 JVor. I don't know, I 'm sure. Maybe you forgot to ring ibr 
 candles. 
 
 A>\ Let us leave this place. 
 
 J\^o): What for? 
 
 ^r. Let us fly. 
 
 JS'or. Are you mad ? 
 
 Ar. Will you not leave this miserable old wretch who has brought 
 you to this house ? 
 
 jS^^or. Miserable old wretch ! Good gracious ! 
 
 Ar. All that I have, consider as your own. I love — adore you ! 
 {^Attempts to embrace her.) 
 
 JVor. Thank you. Oblige me by loving me in that chair, and adore 
 me a little further off. ( Getting a table between them.) I say, have 
 you dined ? 
 
 Ar. I have. 
 
 JVor. I thought so. 
 
 Ar. Adorable creature ! (chases her round table, and sits on chair, 
 E. H.) my sole sorrow is that I cannot offer you my hand with honor 
 to myself or my fomily. Your connection with Sir William Daventry 
 has precluded that. 
 
 JYor. Mr. Ardent ! are you sober, sir ? 
 
 Ar. As you are lovely. 
 
 JVor. Then take this answer : You are not so little yourself — so 
 intoxicated — but you could remember to respect me. There is no 
 man to whom I can look, to chastise you. Go, you paltry coward ! 
 Oh, I only wish I was my big brother, that 's all ! I 'd — I 'd — oh ' 
 I 'd — But no ; you 'd disgrace the mouth of an honest pistol. 
 
 Ar. This is but natural. You are nettled, — disappointed. 
 
 JVor. I am, sir. Why wouldn't I, sure? (Sits, k. h. q/" Ardent.) 
 I took you for an honest, open-hearted, generous, handsome fellow ; 
 and I see you are a mean, pitiful, ugly villain ! Go ! I wish that I 
 could hate you, I do. 
 
 Ar. (c.) You don't. (Sir William appears listening, c. d.) 
 
 JVor. {more softly). I do. Don't touch me. (Falls on his shoul- 
 der.) I detest you ! Ah, Percy ! you are a brute, faith you are ! 
 
 Ar. I am ; I know I am ! Come, Norah, don't weep. 
 
 JK'^or. (looking vp in his face). Say you were jesting. 
 
 Ar. No, but — 
 
 JSt^or. Leave me ! do you hear? I '11 call. 
 
 Ar. Nonsense ! . 
 
 JS'br. I. will ! (Sir Wilxtam /cr/ics a decanter from table, c.) Let 
 me go ! You hurt me ! Sir William Daventry ! here ! 
 
 Ar. (r. II.) It's of no use calling. [Exit Norah, D. l. h fJ e 
 
 Dav. (l. K.) Isn't it? you young I eprobatc! ; 
 
BCENE I.] THE IRISH HEIRESS. * 37 
 
 Enter Stanmore, d. l. h. 2 e., who holds his arm, and prevents his 
 throwing decanter. 
 
 Let me get at him ! Damme, let me get at him ! (Stanmore turns 
 him round to L. H.) Sir, consider your brains knocked out ! Con- 
 sider yourself kicked ! 
 
 Slan. What is the matter ? 
 
 Dav. Matter ! You may well ask ! 
 
 Stan. What has happened? 
 
 Dav. Happened ! Why, if I had n't just woke up in time to knock 
 that rascal down, I can't exactly calculate what would not have hap- 
 pened. Pistols, Stanmore, and we '11 have it out comfortably. 
 
 Stan. Here, Ardent, go into that room. {Points d. r. h. 2 e. 
 Aside to him) Devilish unfortunate ! You went to far. 
 
 jir. I 'm bewildered I (Stanmore j9us/ies him into door n. h. 2 e., 
 and locks it.) 
 
 Dav. Keep him fast, till I tell Norah not to be alarmed. [Exit, c. ix 
 
 Enter Lenoir, d. l. h. 1 e. 
 
 Le. Miladi Daventry is arrived down below. 
 
 Stan. Lady Daventry ! The devil ! By Jove, it ia that infernal 
 letter ! She expects to detect her husband in an intrigue. What an 
 ass I was, not to have foreseen this ! What is to be done? 
 
 Le. Major Fuss is with Madame Comfort. ^Exit, t>. l, h. 1 e. 
 
 Stan. Fuss ! He will remember the mistake of the letter, and I 
 shall be discovered ! 
 
 Enter Fuss, d. l. u. 1 e. 
 
 Fuss. Eh I oh ! my dear Stanmore ! I 'm delighted to find you ! 
 am rather conglomerated about this affair ! I know it is a splendif 
 story, if I could only catch it ; but it slips about in my memory in a 
 aiost tantalizing manner ! What a fortunate thing it is that men arc 
 born without reputations ! Saves a great deal of trouble. But who 
 is the sinner ? 
 
 Stan. If you will just step into my dressing-room, here, {points 
 R. ir. 1 e.) you will overhear all. 
 
 Fuss. Thank you. (x to r. h.) Bless me ! a private box. 
 {Opens door, R. u. 1 E.) 
 
 Stan. Make haste ! 
 
 Fuss. If any one fights, don't let them fire in this direction. 
 
 \_Exity D. R. II. 1 e. 
 
 Stan. Hush! {Shuts Mm in , v. ^. \i. lis..) 
 
 Fuss, {putting his head out). You couldn't oblige me with pen 
 and paper, to make a few ** observations fi-om an eye-witness " ? 
 
 Stan.: {shutting door R. h. 1 e., aiid locking it). If I could but 
 keep Ardent out of the way, I might effect a reconciliation between Sir 
 William and his wife. How unfortunate, how unfortunate that they 
 should both call here at the same moment ! But I fear that hot- 
 headed fool will not leave the place quietly. I '11 tell him Lady Dav- 
 entry is here, and that Norah is ready to forgive him, if he will quit 
 the house».- She must return to Mrs. Comfort's; foi if her ladyship 
 discovers her, London would not hold them. [Exit, d. r. h. 2 e. 
 
 4 
 
88 • WEST END ; OR, [ACT IV. 
 
 Enter Sir WiLLrAM, c. d., and Lenoir, d. l. rr, 1 e. 
 
 Dav Now, sir, I am ready to — Eh ! where 's that young 
 rascal ? 
 
 Le. Which, milor ? 
 
 Dav. Mr. Ardent. 
 
 Le. He is trying to escape with Miladi Daventry, in dat room. 
 
 Dav. Lady Daventry ! 
 
 Le. Oui ; miladi chose him, you know, her cavalier servante. — 
 Miladi jealous — find him out — follow him here ; because she tink he 
 go to Ireland, after Ma'mselle Norah. C'est natural ! 
 
 Dav. So, she forbade her my house, from jealousy of Ardent's at- 
 tentions. 
 
 Le. Miladi is coming up. 
 
 Dav. Oh ! if I could but conceal myself, and burst in upon them ! 
 If I — She imagines that I am out of the country. That closet. 
 {Trying door R. n. 2 E.) 'Tis locked. What 's to be done? I have 
 it. Close those doors. (Lenoir closes c. doors, then exit d. l. h. 1 e.) 
 Must I witness this? (Bloics out candles, on table in C. — Lights 
 down.) Here's a situation for three months after marriage ! What 
 matrimonial almanac could have foretold such a storm in my con- 
 nubial climate, after the change of the honeymoon ? 
 
 Enter Stanjigre, leading Ardent, d. r. h. 2 e. 
 
 Ar. (r. h., whispering). My dear Stanmore ! I owe you a thousand 
 obligations ! But where the deuce are the lights ? 
 
 Stan. {l. II.) Nevermind. My sole desire is to reconcile Daventry ; 
 that 's my object. They are both in the house ; so remain quiet here, 
 while I see if the road is clear. [^Exity c. d. l. h. 
 
 Dav. (up C, at table.) I hear a buzzing. 
 
 Enter Lady Daventbt, d. l. h. 1 e. 
 
 Lady D. Oh, gracious ! the room *s quite dark. I can't find him 
 anywhere. Have I been misled ! 
 
 Ar. I hear the whisk of a petticoat. Hist ! is that Norah? 
 
 Lady D. There he is. Oh, the wretch ! 'tis Norah he expects. 
 
 Ar. You have forgiven me. 
 
 Lady D. (seizing him. Aloud) And so, sir, so ! this is the way 
 you treat me ! — this is the return I have earned ! 
 
 Ar. (r. h., struggling). Lady Daventry, by Jove ! 
 
 Lady D. (L. H.) No, you shall not escape me yet." Promise me 
 yOu won't go to Ireland. Oh ! how can you treat me so? I that 
 have loved you through all ! You pretended to think my love was not 
 entirely yours. Base man ! Oh, you '11 break my heart ! 
 
 Dav. (up c, at table; aside, and feeling about). I'd break his 
 head, if I knew whex'e abouts it was. 
 
 Ar. (aside). It 's devilish lucky Sir William does n't hear all this. 
 
 Lady D. Why do you not answer me ? You dare not speak. 
 
 Ar. (aside). 'Pon my soul, she 's right ! 
 
 Lady D. Have you nothing to extenuate your faithless conduct ? 
 
 Ar. (r. h., aside). Sir William has been a rascally old sinner, it 
 esema. I must redeem his character. (Embraces her .) If he only 
 
BCEMK L] the IRISU HE1RES3. 39 
 
 knew all I was suffering for the sake of his reputation ! ( Turnt 
 round to L. ii., embracing, and does not leave Lady Daventry till Q. 
 doors are opened.) 
 
 Lady D. Don't embrace me ! Don't ! 
 
 Dav. Damme, I can't stand that ! Hallo! — Stanmore ! — lights! 
 — lire ! (Staxmore opens c. doors, from the inside. — The room is 
 lighted by chandeliers at back. — Lights up.) 
 
 Lady D. (r. c.) Mr. Ardent ! 
 
 Dav. {down L. H.) Lady Daventry. 
 
 Lady D. I 'm bewildered ! What can this mean ? 
 
 Stan, {down R. ii.) What the devil have you been about now? 
 
 Ar. (c.) Kang me if I know. 
 
 Dav. Perhaps you have something to extenuate this conduct, 
 madam ? 
 
 Lady D. I have been deceived ! I did not expect to find Mr. Ar- 
 dent here, (x to k. h.) 
 
 Dav. Who then? 
 
 Lady D. (R. H.) You and Norah. 
 
 Dav. Pooh ! you are well aware that Miss O'Connor is in Dublin 
 by this time ; but — 
 
 All. Oh! 
 
 Enter Norah, d. l. ii. 2 e., coming down, l. corner. 
 
 Lady D. (r. h.) Is she, indeed? Then this is an unexpected re- 
 turn, I suppose. 
 
 JVor. What's the matter? (Fuss begins to hammer at door, b. ii. 
 1e.) 
 
 Fuss, {without, R. n. 1 e.) Let me out ! — let me out! (Stan- 
 more unlocks door, b. h. 1 e.) 
 
 Lady D. What 's that ? — who 's there ? 
 
 Enter Fuss, d. r. h. 1 e. 
 
 i^uss. (r. II.) The North Ef\st Bungays ! Stay, Sir William ! Stop, 
 Lady Daventry ! You are all wrong, and you are all right ! I re- 
 member now, I made a mistake in the delivery of a letter. I '11 set it 
 all straight again. I can clear up everything. Let me see — some- 
 body gave me a letter — a love letter ! 
 
 SITUATIONS. 
 
 R. H. Fuss. Stan. Lady D. Sir JVilliam. Ardent. Norah. i.. H. 
 
 Ar. {aside). I dare not speak ! 
 
 Fuss. Some one gave me a letter for — for — Miss Norah O'Con- 
 nor. Now I have it ! 
 Lady D. Who gave it? 
 
 Fuss. Let me see — a — '■ um — it was Sir William Daventry ! 
 Dav. I! 
 
 J^or. He ! {xfrom l. to Sir William, c.) 
 Fuss. Yes, and I hope that will clear up the misunderstanding. 
 Ar. Oh, Norah ! 
 
 Lady D. Now, Sir William, what have you to say? 
 Dav. It is false ' 
 
JO -WEST END ; OR, [ACT V 
 
 Fuss. False ! 
 
 Stan. This is too much. Come. 
 
 Lady D. For Heaven's sake ! — Stanmore ! — they will fight ! 
 
 Fuss. False ! You shall hear from me ! 
 
 Dav. You are all in an infernal plot together ! 
 
 JVor. Cousin ! this Avay ^^^ j^,^^^ ^^_ 
 
 Bav. A set of scoundrelly — rascally— } npfi.o,. nnirklv 
 
 Lady D. He 's mad ! 
 
 Ar. You shall apologize ! 
 
 Dav. I '11 fight every one of you ! 
 (NoRAH up with Sir William. — Stanmore forces Ardent up. — 
 Lady Daventry interposes with Fuss. — Sir William seizes decanter 
 from table, c, and presents threateningly, " cormne fusil, ^' at Fuss. 
 — Ardent kisses Norah. — Animated Tableau.) 
 
 (/ether, quickly. 
 
 
 
 
 
 TABLE. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 o 
 
 
 
 tc^' 
 
 \>i^^ 
 
 t,.''^^'^"- 
 
 g^-^viMORE. Sir WiLLj^^ 
 
 *"*•'». 
 
 '^**>. 
 
 s. 
 
 H. 
 
 QUICK 
 
 DROP. 
 
 — KKD Oy ACT 17. 
 
 
 L. H. 
 
 ACT V. 
 
 SEPARATION AND REPARATION. 
 
 A Drawing-room in Sir William Daventry's House. it the back 
 
 is seen a large archway, or window, opening into a conservatory. 
 — Set door r. h. 2 e. — Set door l. h. 2 e. — Table and chairs on 
 R. c, with writing materials^ taper, Ǥ-c. 
 
 Enter Sir William Daventry and Noraii, d. r. h. 2 e. 
 
 Dav. Spare yourself and me the pain of a refusal. 
 
 JSTor. Ah, now do show yourself what you are : a dear, good, noble- 
 hearted — 
 
 Dav. Old ass ! 
 
 JVbr. I merely ask of you to seek an explanation. 
 
 Dav. To what end ? 
 
 Ab?*. There must be a mistake somewhere. 
 
 Dav. There is ; and I made it by marrying her. I was old enough 
 to know better. 
 
 JSTor. What has age to do with love? 'Faith, I 'd marry Methuse 
 lah himself, if I liked him. 
 
 Dav. Can I blame her? No ! My age pleads for her. Does it 
 not say, " How could you expect a young and lovely thing; just bud- 
 
8CEN& 1.] TUE IRISH UEIRES3. 41 
 
 ding into the May of life, to waste the odor of its youth upon a 
 withered, sapless bough, already in the sear and yellow leaf ? _ How 
 could you hope it, you ugly, grizzled oaf? IIow could you think of 
 it for a moment, you damned old fool ! Three months ago, Hir Wil- 
 liam Daventry, of Greenoaks, bachelor, on the one part, signed a con- 
 tract of marriage with Kate Sophia Savage, spinster, on the other 
 pra-t ; and now, after ninety days of not uninterrupted happiness, the 
 aforesaid parties are about to ixassemble, to conclude a second deed, 
 which shall sever them for life. 
 
 J\'or. And I, Norah O'Connor, spinster, had all but concluded a 
 deed with Percy Ardent, bachelor, and got no value received, but 
 half a dozen hours of continually interrupted bliss. 
 
 Dav. The — the scoundrel ! the rascal ! My heart breaks out at 
 Ills name. 
 
 JK'or. The wretch ! So does mine. 
 
 Dav. Oh ! if I only had him here ! 
 
 jYor. Oh I if you only had ! 
 
 JDav. (musing). They say he is a dead shot, but guilt will unnerve 
 liis hand. 
 
 J\'o)'. You don't intend to fight? Oh, my dear cousin ! no,'no 1 
 It was no fault of his ; it was yours — no, it was mine — or anybody's. 
 Oh, he 's mighty wicked ; and may be if he were shot now and then, 
 it might teach him to know better. 
 
 Dav. What would you say, if, after all, I blew his brains out ? 
 
 A'^or. Oh, for my sake, don't try, don't ! 
 
 Dav. "Why not ? 
 
 JVor. If you aim at his head {hiding her face on his shoulder) sure 
 you will hit my heart. 
 
 Dav. Hallo ! Why you have been swearing all this morning that 
 you hated him. 
 
 JVor. So I do ; but I didn't swear. You did enough for both. But 
 then I 'm naturally soft-hearted, and he 's naturally young ; and — 
 and — I see there 's a deal of room for improvement in the soil of his 
 heart ; and I 've a wonderful turn for all kinds of agricultural specu- 
 lations. 
 
 Dav. I 'm petrified ! Did n't he insult you ? 
 
 J\''or. He did, the villain ! 
 
 Dav. Did n't I find you — in — ay, in his very arms ? 
 
 JVor. You did. {Aside) Ay, and I almost wish you had left me 
 there. 
 
 Dav. Did n't I see him give you a kiss ? 
 
 JSTor. No ; but you would if you had waited. 
 
 Dav. And for all this — 
 
 JVor. 1 'd give him absolution. 
 
 Dav. You forget and forgive like an angel. 
 
 J\'or. No ; I remember and foi'give like a woman. Ah, cousin, wo 
 easily pardon any insult that flatters our vanity. Had it been any 
 other woman that he had tried to kiss, sure you might have shot him 
 and welcome. 
 
 Dav. Did he not make dishonorable proposals to you ? 
 
 ^''or. He did ; but they disgraced him ; — they did not affect me. 
 I '11 give him tim^e to think twice. I think he was misled — deceived. 
 4* 
 
42 WEST EXD ; OR, [act v. 
 
 I know he was very much in love. I '11 pass that over ; and I have 
 reason to imagine he was rather happy. 
 
 Dav. (L. H.) Happy? 
 
 JVor. (r. II.) Elevated. 
 
 J)av. Eh, eh! — oh! ah! — I see ; when a gentleman makes a 
 beast of himself he's happy. Yes ; but when his servants indulge 
 they become drunken vagabonds, I perceive. A delicate distinction, 
 that. 
 
 JSTor. Remember it well. You may want it. 
 
 Dav, What? Eh, Norah, do you mean to insinuate that I — eh, 
 ever ? 
 
 JVor. Oh no, never ; only it 's handy ; and you might lend it to a 
 friend. Do so now to Percy. 
 
 Z)flr. Do you set the example ? 
 
 JVor. Wiiy, after all, when a gentleman sends his brains down 
 stairs in an empty bottle, where are you to look for reason or respon- 
 sibility iu anything he says or does ? 
 
 Dav. Well, well, if I can avoid him consistently with honor I will 
 do so. 
 
 Enter EusTON, d. l. ii. 2 e. 
 
 Eus. Lord Stanmore has arrived, sir. Mr. Supple waits in the 
 parlor. » [Exity d. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 Dav. He brings the deeds of separation. Is it so near, then ? I 
 never thought it would come to this. I won't yield. It will be a hard 
 struggle. {Appears moved. — x io a. ii.) 
 
 JVor. (l. h.) My dear cousin ! 
 
 Dav. (r. ii.) Ah, Norah ! I dare say you think me an absurd old 
 fool. My child, the love of youth has many blossoms ; — wild with 
 its very sweets, it blooms, and casts a thousand odors to the winds, it 
 is so free. But when the seed of first affection falls on a heart way- 
 worn by the heavy foot of Time, it strikes a root fast as the mountain 
 pine. No storm can tear away its sinewy clutch. The soil may groan, 
 as now it does ; but still it holds, till death shall loose the gripe. Be 
 it so ! I will sign. Ay, I grieve for her ; for she was a glorious crea- 
 ture ! — too good for me ! — too good for me I [Exit, d. k. n. 2 e. 
 
 JVor. My poor cousin ! my heart weeps for him. Hush ! I hear 
 Stanmore. I suspect he has more to do with this quarrel between my 
 cousin and Kate than he will own. I know he belied me to Percy. I 
 will avoid him ; but how ? That way — no, it leads to Sir William's 
 rooms. The conservatory. I '11 just step iu here for a moment. 
 
 l^Exit, c. 
 
 Elder Stanmore and Lenoir, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 Sian. Who is in the house at present? 
 
 Le. Sir William Daventry and Mam'selle O'Connor. 
 
 Stan. So, then ; show Mr. Supple here, and wait in the ante-room 
 till I call. Allez ! [Exit Lknoir, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 The crisis is approaching. Here comes Supple. I must not appear 
 too anxious about the success of his mission. 
 
 Reenter Lexoir, showing in Supple, d. j.. u. 2 k, who looks pale, bn( 
 detcrmincil. — Staxmore appears conftisnd. — Bttit Lexoik, d. l. 
 H. 'J v.. 
 
80ENE I.] THE IIUSU HEIKESS. 43 
 
 Those papers? Ah ! the deed of separation of my unhappy relatives. 
 Sir William Daventry makes a settlement, doubtless? Sad business, 
 my dear sir. Separations always are. 
 
 Sup. There may be worse, my lord. 
 
 Stan. Yes, marriages. Oh yes, it is a wicked woi'ld, as your 
 practice must have proved. 
 
 Sup. (s/teeri/i{/ly). Oh, sir, you do me too much honor ! I should 
 have thought your own practice, now, could tell more tales of it. 
 
 Stan. How, sir? 
 
 Sup. Have you forgotten Catherine Grahame? 
 
 Stan. (usi'Je). Would to Heaven I had ! (jIIow^, and carelessly) 
 Poor Kate ! the girl loved me. But hang it, Supple, am I to be made 
 an example of for a chance that happens daily? 
 
 Sup. Its frequency does not palliate its atrocity. 
 
 Stan. Atrocity ! What have I done, more than other men of 
 fashion ? 
 
 Sup. Oh, sir, fashion, like charity, coveretb a multitude of sins. 
 
 Stan. Pei'haps so. But to the point ; did Kate yield to you? 
 
 Sup. At a word. 
 
 Stan. How? 
 
 Sup. I related to her a very simple tale. 
 
 Stan. (r. h.) That is so like her I She was always fond of novels 
 at breakfast. 
 
 Sup. Listen, sir ! These were my words : when a young man, 
 about your own age, I was sent to a distant part of France. 
 
 Stan. Indeed ! 
 
 Sup. I met a young, lovely, innocent French peasant girl ; I loved 
 her ; she was proof against my prayers ; I married her by the rites of 
 her belief alone, taking advantage of a mere incompletion of a formula. 
 I deceived, disowned, deserted her ; she died broken-hearted, leaving 
 me her blessing and a daughter. That child I do believe to be the 
 only thing in this wide world that loves me for myself alone ! (Stan- 
 more smiles). You smile. — Y^ou think me weak. Perhaps I am. — 
 I do adore my poor wronged child ! 
 
 Stan. How did this affect her ? 
 
 Sup. Thus: for years I worked — I toiled — I sinned; for what? 
 myself? No ; but for my idol. Unknown, unnoticed, I watched the 
 seedling of my guilt — rooted in my heart — spring up into a tendril ; 
 Bo clinging round my very life that it shut out the thought of age. 
 Now listen ; I, her father, found one day a painted viper nestled in my 
 daughter's breast, which her young blood had warmed to life. Where 
 - I looked for innocence I found his fangs ; for love, his poison. I saw 
 my poor Kate's heart torn, crushed by this reptile ; while I, her own 
 father — 
 
 Stan. How — 
 
 Sup. I was sent to trample on the remnant be had left ! 
 Sla7i. Kate ! Can it be ? 
 
 Sup. Yes ; j'our victim ! 
 Stan. Kate Grahame ! {Starts up.) 
 Sup. Is my child I {Sinks into a chair.) 
 
 Stan. The devil ! My dear fellow, surely you will acquit me of 
 any intent to wro5»g you. Had I but known — upon my soul, I pity 
 you ! 
 
44 WEST END ; OR, [act V 
 
 Sup. Pity, my lord ! Will your pity fiud lier lost honor ? 
 
 Stan. Well, I 'm sorry — devilish sorry. 
 
 Sup. Will your sorrow meud my poor child's broken heart? 
 
 Stern. What can I do? 
 
 Sup. Marry her ! 
 
 Slan. Why — you see — I cannot exactly. 
 
 Sup. Look you, Mr. Baventry, wed my daughter, and I will de 
 liver up to you all the correspondence revealing the secret of your 
 Lirth. 
 
 Stan. Where is Kate now ? 
 
 Sup. In my house. 
 
 Slan. Hem ! I accept your oiler. 
 
 Sup. Here is the contract, ready drawn and well secured ; and 
 here the correspondence. 
 
 Stan. Where shall I write ? 
 
 Sup. Will you not read it first ? 
 
 Stan. Oh, I rely implicitly on the well-known integrity of my dear 
 father-in-law. {Signs at table, r. c.) 
 
 Sup. Good ! and now, sir, these are the papers. 
 
 Stan. Oblige me by riging that bell. (Supple j}ulls hell-rope, l. h. 
 1 E. — Stanmore lights a taper at table.) My dear sir, I should wish 
 this marriage to be as private as possible. 
 
 Sup. Most considerate. 
 
 Stan. So, if you please, Lenoir can conduct Kate to my house, 
 where she will be treated as Lady Stanmore. 
 
 Sup. I did not give you credit for so much love for her, although 
 she did. 
 
 Enter Lenoir, ». l. h. 2 e. 
 
 Stan. Write a line, desiring her to trust herself to Lenoir's guid- 
 ance. 
 
 Sup. With pleasure. (Goes vp to table and writes.) 
 
 Stan, (aside to Lenoir). Now lose no time. Here is a check. — 
 My carriage is at the door. You understand me. 
 
 Sup. (giving letter). That will serve. 
 
 Stan, (reading). *^ Gray's Inn." Away with you, Lenoir. 
 
 [Exit Lenoir, d. l. h. 2 e. 
 
 Stan. (l. c.) And now to business. 
 
 Sup. (r. h.) Nay, 'tis done. (About to take iJie settlements.) 
 
 Stan. Not quite. (Puts his hand on them.) I believe, Mr. Sup- 
 ple, you are aware that I seldom trifle. 
 
 Sup. What do you mean, sir? 
 
 Stan. I would not do a rascally act ; but when it is the only thing 
 I can do it must be the best. 
 
 Sup. Lord — I mean Mr. Daventry — you alarm me. You can- 
 not mean that you refuse to wed my daughter ? 
 
 Stall. 'Tis not in my power. 
 
 Sup. You will not withhold the letters, then ? 
 
 Stan. No, not from the flames ? 
 
 Sup. And Kate 1 — my child ! What have I done? I will pursue 
 that villain ! It may not be too late 1 (Starts up.) 
 
 Stan, (locking door, L. ii. 2 e.) It is ! By this time she is on her 
 
SCENE I.] TUB IRISU HEIRESS. 45 
 
 road from England — by your own order. (Norah, u^hj has been 
 watching the whole scene from conservatory, c, steps out, end stands 
 at the table, e. c.) 
 
 Sup. Would you detain me? We shall see. 
 
 Stan. Nay, then no time is to be lost. I'll burn — {Turns 
 round, and sees Noraii.) Norah ! 
 
 Sup. Miss O'Connor ! (Norah takes deeds from STxyi^WRE, with 
 right hand, at back, of table. — Picture and pause.) 
 
 JS'^or. Are you aware that you are about to do what in Ireland we 
 would call a very dirty bit of villainy? 
 
 Stan. Ahem ! {Aside) This is devilish awkward. Nay, madam, 
 I can explain. 
 
 Sup, Miss O'Connor, believe not but he is a villain ! 
 
 JSTor. Mr. Supple, he is my father's brother's son. If you have 
 been wronged by him, he is a Daventry, and will right you. — la 
 Daveiitry, say it. {Aside to Stanmore) I have heard all. — I know 
 all. I do not covet either your wealth or your title. Do but justice to 
 yourself, and I am satisfied. 
 
 Stan. 'T is too late. 
 
 Enter Sir William, d. r. h. 2 e. 
 
 JVor. Oh, Sir William ! what is to be done? (x m. h.) 
 
 Dav. What is the matter? 
 
 Sup. Simply this, Sir William : If you will inspect the papers 
 which Miss O'Connor — 
 
 J^or. 'T is unnecessary — 
 
 Sup. You will find that they deprive that person {pointing to Sian- 
 more) of his title and estates. Nay, more — 
 
 jYb?\ Is not that enough? 
 
 Dav. Pray explain this. 
 
 jYor. Whj', Mr. Supple has discovered some little irregularity in 
 the ftimily records, which shows that the estates of Stanmore devolve 
 on me. 
 
 Dav. But the title? 
 
 J\*or. Descends by the female line. 
 
 Dav. I 'm in the dark still. Then if he is not, who the deuce is 
 Earl of Stanmore ? 
 
 J\'or. I am. 
 
 Ar. {without, L.«n.) Come along ! 
 
 JVor. That 's Percy's voice ! Bless him for this interruption ! 
 
 Le. {without, l. h.) Ventre saint gris ! You will pulls my head 
 off! 
 
 Enter Ardent, d. l. h. 2 e., ivifh his hand tivisted into Lenoir's 
 
 7ieckcloth. 
 
 situations. 
 E. I.. Sir WilUam. Norah. Supple. Stanmore. Ardent. Lenoir, i,. h. 
 
 Ar. Now, you kidnapping rascal ! down on your knees, and con- 
 fess the truth, — the truth, if you can ! or I'll pulverize you, and 
 have you shaken carefully through a sieve, but I will get at it ! 
 
 Le. You will cut off my troat ! Please to don't, and I will tell all. 
 
 Dav. What rfoes this mean ? 
 
46 WEST END ; oa, [act v 
 
 Jlr. Why, I saw this scoundrel cashing a very large cheque at 
 my bankers'. Naturally supposing it was either forged or stolen, I 
 tracked him to a house in Gray's Inn — Stanmore's carriage in wait- 
 ing — learned from the coachman its destination was Portsmouth — 
 followed him in — listened — overheard him telling a poor girl the 
 square full of lies : saying his master was in China, and persuading 
 her to accompany him thither — she hesitated — he pressed — I en- 
 tered — he bullied — I knocked him down, doubled him up, put him 
 into my cab, and here he is ! 
 
 Swp. And the lady, sir, the lady? 
 
 At\ Is quite safe, sir. Now confess ! 
 
 Stan, {down R. of Ardent). No, that is for me to do. Release 
 him, ardent. He was but a minion in my hands. (Ardent releases 
 L"ENOiR, who looks, and sneaks off D. L. u. 2 E.) I alone am guilty. 
 Sir William Daventry, your wife is innocent of the slightest suspicion 
 of falsehood towards you. 
 
 £>av, Kate ! 
 
 Stan. I have been the cause of this unhappy quarrel. I do not 
 ask for pardon. (Sir William stands transfixed.) Mr. Supple, I 
 have injured you. 1 wronged your child. She has deserved a more 
 worthy love than mine ; but still I vow she shall be made my wife by 
 every law, human or divine ! Norah, what the sharpest reproaches 
 of the world could never have effected, your simple generosity has 
 wrung from me : sorrow for my sin, not for my failure. Farewell. 
 
 [Exit, D. L. II. 2 E, 
 
 JVo?'. Eh? Well, I don't think that you will be wanted, after all, 
 Mr. Supple. (Supple x to l. h.) 
 
 j5r. Stay ! ( Whispers Norah.) 
 
 J\/''or. That's a pretty piece of modesty, after all that you have 
 done! 
 
 Ar. May I see him to-morrow about it? 
 
 ^or. No. 
 
 j3r. Exactly. Then between ten and eleven — 
 
 Sup. I understand. I shall be too happy. [Exit, D. L. H. 2 B. 
 
 Duv. (absorbed). Can I have wronged her? 
 
 Ar. Hei'c comes Lady Daventry. 
 
 J\^or. Shan't we be de trop? 
 
 Ar. That conservatory looks cool. 
 
 Alor. Very ; but have you dined? 
 
 Ar. I '11 never dine again till you forgive me ! 
 
 A^or. There, (giving her hand) the Lent of your love shall not be 
 long. But stay ! (assuming gravity, and pointing to Sir William) 
 young man, look there. That may be your case three months hence. 
 There are long matrimonial quarrels. 
 
 Ar. And short reconciliations, which make up for it. 
 
 JVor. So there are. Ah I I see the Shannon would n't put you out. 
 (They retire into the conservatory , c.) 
 
 Dat. She is there ! What shall I do? If I tell that I am alone to 
 blame, I could not outlive the day. How shall I Taegin? • Hush ! I 
 hear her — Niagara in miniature — a distant rumble. 
 
 JBn/er Lady Datentrv, d. r. ii. 2 e. — She approaches him^ and 
 
 sinks at his feet. 
 
SCENE I. THE IRISH HEIRESS. i7 
 
 Now her eyes are fixed on me like basilisks ! Aliem ! she 's devilish 
 quiet ! I '11 have a peep. {He turns slowly round, looks vp, and at 
 last discovers her.) Kate at my feet ! 
 
 Lady D. (r. h.) I will ask Norah to remain. 
 
 Dat;. (L. H.) No, no, no ! No you shan't. Ha, ha ! {raisivg her) 
 my own Kate ! I 'm the happiest old villain unhung fur my brutali- 
 ties to an angel of a wife. 1 '11 turn everybody out of the house you 
 please. Pla, ha ! 
 
 Lady D. I will never speak of the poor girl again. 
 
 Dav. Poor girl ! 
 
 Lady D. I will be blind, deaf, dumb, lame — anything, rather 
 than miserable ! If j'ou were a little wild — 
 
 Dav. I wild ? I never was wild in all my life ! 
 
 Lady D. Permit me to return you this love-letter, my dear. 
 
 Dav. Allow me to restore you this, my love. ( They eye the letters, 
 and then each other; they then exchanrje, and read. — Ardent a?2^ 
 NoRAii come down from conservatory.) 
 
 SITUATIONS, 
 ii. K. Norah. Ardent. Lady Daientry. Sir William. i.. H. 
 
 JSTor. (r. n.) Wonderfully quiet, considering — 
 
 Ar. (r. c.) The calm after a storm. 
 
 Dav. {reading). ^'Dearest William — promise to return — con- 
 ceal our marriage — fond wife! " Why, I never saw a line of this 
 before ! 
 
 Lady D. {reading). "Loveliest of created beings ! I adore you to 
 distraction ! " 
 
 Ar. Hallo I that 'a not original. I remember that Ime somewhere. 
 Permit me. ( Taking letter.) That is my letter ! 
 
 Lady D. Explain it. 
 
 Ar. Nay, I leave that for the eloquent lips of Miss O'Connor. 
 {Gives it.) 
 
 Dav. What, is this yours too? Oh, take your wife and family too. 
 (x C, giving letter.) 
 
 Ar. Allow me. {Looks at letter.) Stanmore gave me that. 
 
 J\"or. I see it all ! — the identity of names. 
 
 Lady D. What a fool have I been ! 
 
 Dav. No you haven't. 'T was I ; — I am a fool. 
 
 Lady D. 'T was all my fault. 
 
 Dav. No, it was not. 
 
 Lady D. Yes, it was. 
 
 Dav. I say it was not I And damme, but I '11 quarrel all over 
 again, if you won't let it be my fiult. And was it all for jealousy of 
 me? Oho ! ha, ha ! 
 
 Lady D. Would you laugh at me ? 
 
 Dav. No ; but jealous of me I What a delicious idea ! How she 
 must have loved me, to hate me so damnably ! Ha, ha ! 
 
 Enter Euston, d. l, h. 2 e. 
 
 Eus. Mrs. Comfort and Major Fuss. {Exit, d. l, h. 2 b. 
 
 JS'or. She has come to witness the deed of separation. 
 
48 WEST E?fD ; OR, [act V 
 
 Dav. She 'II never survive this scene. Verdict — died of stagnant 
 malice. We 'II make common cause. 
 Ar Yes, a common cause. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Comfort and Fuss, d. l. n. 2 e. 
 
 Mrs. C. (x to Lady Daventrt). My dear Lady Daventry, how 
 shocked I am to hear of this disgraceful separation ! Allow me to say 
 tliat an entire explanation — even a remission of his sins — is better 
 than separation. People ^alk so. (x to L. ir.) 
 
 Dav. She has anticipated your advice. {Puts his arm round Lady 
 Davextry's xcaist. Aside) This must be torture to her. And now 
 — {kisses her) — that 's wormwood. 
 
 Ar. {kissi}i(/ 1soB.Au). Yes, that 's wormwood. IIow do you like 
 wormwood ? 
 
 JNOir. What's that? 
 
 Ar. Hush ! It 's only wormwood, to annoy her. Look, now — 
 see — watch. ( Kisses her. ) 
 
 JVor. Percy I 
 
 Ar. It's all in the common cause. Nice wormwood. 
 
 Mrs. C. Why, major, there 's a — um — seems to be a common 
 cause. 
 
 Fuss. Does it? (^ Looks round.) Ay, so it does. 
 
 Mrs. C. (aside). I see ; he can't remember. {Aloud) Why, you 
 all seem to be kissing at me. One would think you imagined this 
 reconciliation annoyed me. Bless you all, I love to see a good mak- 
 ing-up, as well as a fine quarrel. It gives one something to talk 
 about. Do you think I would have permitted this separation, for the 
 honor of our sex ? No. Come, Sir William, your ward seems to be 
 reconciled, as well as you. 
 
 Dav. Ay — can I do anything to make you two miserable ? ( Get- 
 tint/ Ardext towards r. h., and x between him and Norah.) 
 
 A'^or. (r. II.) No, thank you, cousin. As we thought you had 
 enough to manage, we have settled all that very comfortably without 
 you. 
 
 Dav. (r. c.) Oh ! have you? Are you aware, sir, that I am that 
 young lady's guardian ? 
 
 Ar. (c.) Am I aware? 
 
 ./\^or. Is he aware? My dear cousin ! Why, he means you to 
 give the breakfast. 
 
 Dat!. Oh ! you have settled that. 
 
 Ar. Yes ; and we 'U borrow Greenoaks afterwards. 
 
 Dav. Ha, ha! Well. {To Ardent) Come here, you young 
 thunderbolt; {to Norah) and you, you flash of lightning. — You 
 will have a hurricane for your son and heir. {Joins their hands, and 
 gets L. q/" Ardent.) 
 
 Fuss {aside to Mrs. Comfort, on l. it., to ichom he has been whis- 
 periny). ^\vx\\l1 I will. Ahem! (^/ou(i) Mrs. Comfort thinka -- 
 {Join hands, and x to Lady Daventry.) 
 
 Mrs. C. No I don't. 
 
 Fuss. Don't you? I thought you did. 
 
 Mrs. C. (l. c.) No ; you — you. 
 
 Fuss. (l. H.) Oh yes — I forgot. I — I — what d'ye call it?-- 
 that as there will be two ni;irriages — there might be one ceremony. 
 
tOEKK X.] THE IKISB HEIRESS. 49 
 
 5--} Ho. sot 
 
 Fuss. Dear me ! I quite omitted. Permit me to introduce you to 
 the future Mrs. — a — a — Major — what 's my name ? 
 
 Mrs. C. Fuss. 
 
 Fuss. Oh ! ah ! yes ; so it is. I thought it vras Comfort. I '11 in- 
 troduce you to Mrs. Major Fuss. 
 
 jir. Capital! One ceremony. It will double the joy. 
 
 Fuss. Yes ; and it will halve the expense. When shall it be ? 
 
 Ar, Ay ; the sooner the better. 
 
 JVbr. Come, Mrs. Comfort, make the major happy. 
 
 Fuss. Name the very earliest day ? 
 
 J\frs. C. Ah, major ! it is an extremely delicate subject. 
 
 Fuss. Not a moment is to be lost. 
 
 Mrs. C. Not before to-morrow, surely ? 
 
 Fuss. To-morrow ! (Aside) That 's double quick time. 
 
 J\ror. Major, I congratulate you. 
 
 Fuss. Oh, spare my blushes ! 
 
 JVor, Upon what? (Poitj^s /o Mrs. Comfort.) 
 
 Mrs. C. But a marriage in the middle of the season is not quite en 
 regie, is it ? 
 
 JSTor. Why not? 
 
 Mrs. C. To give up the opera, Almac's, and Ascot, for solitude, 
 Tunbridge Wells, and donkeys ! 
 
 Fuss. No sacrifice, dear, to give up donkeys. Have you not me ? 
 
 Lady D. Besides, Norah, you have not been to court yet. 
 
 .N'or. I rather think I have ; and here 's the consequences. {Slip* 
 her arm through Ardent's.) 
 
 Dav. Well, take 'em, and this piece of advice : remain in town ; 
 for believe me, the pure flame of love is often smothered by that fatal 
 folly of its first excess — the honeymoon. Ladies, be wise, and con- 
 tent to know that there is one realm bequeathed to you by Nature, 
 where you have ever held sole sway: 'tis Home, — a simple word, 
 unknown in any language but our own. Ah ! may we never lose it, 
 — 'T is your title-deed to our aflFections ; for amidst the toil of trade, 
 the labors of state, ay, and amidst the very lures of dissipation, th« 
 heart-strings are still held by the patient, lovely watcher who sits b* 
 her husband's fireside. 
 
 situations. 
 ■• h' curtain. i- «. 
 
ifiaialogtte continued jrom second ^u^e a^f mver.) 
 
 VOL. xu. 
 21 The Pirates Legacj 
 32 The Charcoal Burner 
 
 ^$ Adelgitha 
 
 24 Sea or Vs!iente 
 
 25 Forest Rose 
 
 •16 Duke 8 Daaghter 
 
 27 Camilla's HusbaBd 
 
 28 Pure Gold 
 
 VOL. XLII. 
 329 Ticket of Leave Man 
 S30 Fool's Revenge 
 
 331 O' Neil the Ureat 
 
 332 Handy Andy 
 
 iSi Pirate of the Islea 
 
 334 Fanchon 
 
 335 Little Barefoot 
 
 336 WUd Irish Qirl 
 
 VOL. XLIIL 
 337 Pearl of avoy 
 838 Dead Heart 
 
 339 Ttn Mghta 'ii a Bar-room 
 
 340 Damb Buy 1 1 Manchester 
 Ml Belphegurthi Mountebank 
 Hi Crick«?toii tbv Hearth 
 343 Printer s Devil 
 
 ^^44 Meg 8 Diversion 
 
 VOL, XLIV. 
 biS X^mnkard's Doom 
 346 Chimney Comer 
 S47 Fifteen Tears of a Dnimfe> 
 
 348 No Thoroughfare fard'f 
 
 349 Peep O' Day I LUn 
 550 Everybody's nC<jrf 
 ^BBlet, M Three Asia 
 Ciutttu & Qalpit 
 
 Cta. 
 
 THE GREAT SECRET OF SHADOW 
 PANTOMIMES; or. Harlequin In the Shades. 
 Euw t I get them up and huw to act them. With 
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 ►ARL.OR TABLEAUX : or. Animated Pic- 
 tures, for the use of Families, Bcbools, aud Public 
 Exhibitions. By Tony Dknier. Price 26 
 
 lMATEUR'S guide TO HOME THE- 
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 act la them; to which is added, " Huw to get ap 
 Theatricals In a Couutry House," with By-Lawa, 
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 the information of amateur societies. Price 25 
 
 HE GUIDE TO THE STA GE. by Lemajt 
 Thom.&8R£DE. Containing clear and full direc- 
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 complete aud valuable instructiuns for beginners, 
 relative to salaries, rules, manner of going through 
 Rehearsals, securing proper Dresses, conduct at a 
 first appearance, &c., &c. Price 15 
 
 HE ART OP ACTING; or. Guide to the 
 Stage. In which the Dramatic Passions are de- 
 fined, analyzed, and made easy of acquirement; 
 also the requisites necessary for performers of buth 
 sexes, heroes, gentlemen, lovers, tradesmen, 
 downs, heroines, fine ladies, ho} ^eas. characters 
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 MASSEY'S EXHIBITION HECITBR 
 AND DRA"WING-BOOM ENTER- 
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 prose and verse. Together with an unique eelleo- 
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 numbers per number, M 
 
 The two numbers, bound in oloth, School style. ... 34 
 
 THE OliTO; or Speaker's Companion. A eoi- 
 lection of Recitations in Prose and Verse, Dia- 
 logues and Burlesques, compiled for the use of 
 Schools, Thespian .Societies, etc., and for Publi« 
 Declamation or Reading. In three parts. . .each, IS 
 
 DRAMAS FOR THE DRAAVINQ- 
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 PLAYS FOR THE PARLOR. By Miss 
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 ACTING JHARADES. By Miss PiCKKr- 
 isG 4« 
 
 COMIC DRAMAS, for College, Camp, or Cabia 
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 DRAMAS FOR BOYS (Male Characters only), 
 by Miss Reatiko 40 
 
 HOME PLAYS FOR LADIES (Pemal« 
 Characters only), complete in ttiree parts.. . . eaoh, M 
 
 AN EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT, 
 an original Comedy, a Burlesque and Faroe 40 
 
 THE ETHIOPIA]^ DRAMA. 
 
 (NEW SERIES.) 
 
 Blinks and Jinka 
 Lucky Number 
 Homebody s Coat 
 Trip to P aris 
 Arrival of Dickens 
 Black Ole Bull 
 Blackest Tragedy of All 
 
 >. 
 
 Robert Make- Airs 
 Box and Cox 
 Mazeppa 
 
 United States Mail 
 The Coopers 
 Old Dad 8 Cabin 
 The Rival Lovers 
 The Sham Doctor 
 Jolly Millers 
 ViNiklDB and his Dinah 
 The Quack Doctor 
 The Mystic Spell 
 The Black Statue 
 Dncle Jeff 
 
 The Mischieyous Nigger 
 The Black Shoemaker 
 
 NO. 
 
 8 Tom and Jerry, and Who's 
 
 betn Here 
 
 9 No rator. or Man Pish 
 
 10 Who Stole the Chickens 
 
 1 1 Upper Ten I'housand 
 
 12 Hip Van Winkle 
 
 NO. 
 
 13 Ten Days in the Tomba 
 
 14 Two Pompeys 
 
 16 Running the Blotikade 
 
 16 Jeemes the Poet 
 
 17 IntelUganee Uffloe 
 
 18 Kobo Band 
 
 NO. 
 
 19 Deserters 
 
 20 Deaf as a Post 
 
 21 Dead Alive 
 
 22 Cousin Joe's Visit 
 
 23 Boarding School 
 
 24 Academv of Star* 
 
 1 7 The Magic Penny 
 
 18 The Wr^ck | ny Cupids 
 
 19 »hHu8hIorTheVlrgin- 
 
 20 The Portrsit Painter 
 
 21 The Hop of Fashion 
 
 22 done Squash 
 
 23 The Virginia Mummy 
 
 24 Thieves at the Mill 
 2f Comedy of Errors 
 2( Les Miserables 
 
 2 New Ye. r'8 Calls 
 
 2i Troublesome Servant 
 
 24 Great Arrival 
 
 31) Rooms to Let 
 
 3) Black Crook Burlesque 
 
 3i. Ticket Taker 
 
 NO. 
 
 33 Hypochondris 
 S4 William TeU 
 So Rose Dale 
 
 36 Feast 
 
 37 Fenian 
 
 38 Jack's the 
 89 Othello 
 
 40 Camille 
 
 41 Nobody's Son 
 
 42 Sports on a Lark 
 
 43 Actor and Singer 
 
 44 Shy lock 
 
 45 Quarrelsome Servants 
 
 46 Haunted House 
 
 47 NoOvre, No Pay 
 
 Tony Denier'g Parlor Pantomimes.— In Ten Parts, ^? Cta. each. 
 
 'o. I.— A Memoir or the Author. By SylvestT 
 Bleeker, Esq. How to ExpiiE.S8 the Various 
 PA88io-«a. Actions. etc. The Four Lovers; or, 
 Les Rivales' Rendezvous. The Frisky Cobbi,er ; 
 or, The Rival Artisans. 
 
 o. II.— The Rise and Prooh3S3 of Pantomime. 
 The ScHOoUMASTH R ; or the School in an Uproar. 
 BtLLK or Madhid; or, a Muleteer's Bride. La 
 Statue Bi.anchk ; <^r. The Lovers' Stratagem. 
 
 o. III.— M. Dechalumeau ; or, The Birthday 
 Pete. The Dimon Lovta; or, The Frightened 
 Family. Robert Macaire ; or, LesDeuxFugitlfs. 
 
 o. rv.— Jocko the Brazilian Ape; or. The 
 Mischievous Monkey. The Oonscript; or, H»w to 
 Avoid the Draft. Thb Magic Flute ; or, The Ma- 
 Klolaa'B SpeU. 
 
 No. v.— The Viyandieri!; , or. The Dangbter of tb» 
 
 Regiment. Damb Tkot and hrr Coiucax. CaV; 
 
 or, The Misfortunes of Johnny Oreene. 
 No. 'VI.— GoDENSKi ; or, The Skaters of Wilnac 
 
 The E.vchavtilD Horn ; or, The Witches' Gift. 
 No. VII.— The Soldier for Love ; or, A Hero la 
 
 Spite of Himself. Simeo-'^'s Mishaps; or, Ttm 
 
 Hungarian Rendezvous. 
 No. VIII.— The Village Ghost; or, Love abS 
 
 Murder both Found Out. The Fairies' Frolio; 
 
 or. The Goo£ Wife s Three Wishes. 
 No. IX.— The Rose or Sharon ; or, The Vnlvekjr 
 
 Fisherman. Pox go, the I.NTKLLiGeNT Ape, and 
 
 the Unfortunate Overseer. 
 No. X.— Mons. TouPET the Danoino Barber; 
 
 or. Love and Lather. Vol au Vknt asd tk* 
 
 MiLLKRS ; or, A Night's Adventarea- 
 
 48 Fighting for the Unlott 
 
 49 Hamlet the Dainty 
 
 50 Corsican Twins 
 
 51 Deaf- in a Horn 
 ^2 Challenge Dance 
 
 63 De Trouble begirs atNte* 
 
 54 Scenes at Gurney's 
 
 55 16,000 Years Ago 
 
 56 Stage- struck Darkey 
 
 57 Black Mail |CIothe£ 
 
 58 Highest Price for Old 
 
 59 Howls from the Owl Train 
 
 60 Old Honks 
 
 61 The Three Black Smiths 
 
 62 Turkeys in Season 
 
 Samuel French, PubUsher, 
 
 ay of the above sent by Mall or Express, on receipt of price. 
 
 122 Nassau Street (Up Stalmv ! 
 
 fttf" New asd Explicit Desct^tpttte rATALooTTK Afmlfd Free on Request. 
 
•w na e au—^ \m* va ime w«o»^>iia usio^fotiB ran uo*^ iw^ . 
 
 FRENCH'S MIN^^ ^- . .. . 
 
 Price 16 Cents each.-Bou LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 
 
 1 "Fhe Irish Attonio/ 
 
 3 Boots ftt tbe »w«n 
 8 How tc pay the Rent 
 
 4 The Lo&Q of A LoT«r 
 6 Tbo Dead Shot 
 
 5 His Last Legs 
 1 The Inv'«lble Prince 
 
 8 The Goldeu Farmer 
 
 VOL. TI. 
 
 9 Pride orthellarket 
 
 10 Used Up 
 
 11 The Irish Tutor 
 
 13 The Barrack Boom 
 IS Luke ths Laborer 
 
 14 Beanty and th* Beast 
 
 15 8t. Patricks Ere 
 
 16 Ce.i>tain uf the Watoh 
 
 VOL. in. 
 
 17 The Secret (p«rs 
 
 18 White Horse of the Pcp- 
 1» The Jaoobiie 
 30TheBottI« 
 21 Box and Coz 
 32 Bamboozliug 
 JS Widow 8 VlcHm 
 %i Bobert Macaire 
 
 VOL. IT. 
 35 Secret Service 
 38 (>mQibus 
 27 Irish Lion 
 29 Vaid of Croits/ 
 291 ho Old Guail 
 
 80 Raising the W'itia 
 
 81 »la>her and Crasher 
 81 Naral Eiigagemeubi 
 
 VOL. V. 
 
 83 Oocknies in CalifomiA 
 
 84 Who Spealts First 
 y> Boinoastes Purioso 
 ?f> Ms.cbeth Travestie 
 ST Irish Ambassadcr 
 
 88 Delicate tlround 
 
 89 The \S eatberc«.>ck fGoldll lO Andy Blake 
 40 AU that Gliuera U ^ut|Ml Love in '76 
 
 VO, VT. 
 il Grlmshaw, ^agshaw a-nd 
 Braddbaw 
 
 42 Roogh Diamond 
 
 43 Bioomer Costume 
 
 44 Two Bonnycast ^s 
 4.'»B. rn toOor>d Li^* 
 46 Kiss lu the Dark [jurer 
 
 VOL. X. I 
 
 T8 Ireliind and America 1145 Col 
 
 74 Pretty Piece of Bu»in«8i!l46 Hai 
 
 75 Irish Broom-maker |I47 Lad 
 
 76 To Paris aud Back fori 148 Pbe 
 Five Pounds 
 
 77 That Blessed Baby 
 7« Our Gal 
 
 79 Swiss Cotta?e 
 
 80 Young WiduTT 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 
 P 
 
 149 Con 
 
 150 Opp 
 
 151 Dut. 
 
 152 ifersecuced Dutchman 
 VOL. XX. 
 
 014 386 551 4 
 
 161 Promotion fnal 
 
 162 A Fascinating Indlrid- 
 
 163 Mrs. Caudle 
 
 164 Shirkspeare's Dream 
 
 165 Nepiiune's Dcfpat 
 
 166 Lady of Bedchamber 
 
 81 O'Flannigaa and the Pa.il53 Mtisard Ball 
 821ri8hPost ^j.jg^ .../-.-.-. m_.„= 
 
 83 My Neighbor'* "Wife 
 
 84 Iriah Tiger 
 
 85 P . P . , or Man and Tiger 
 
 86 To (iblii;e Beoaon 
 
 87 Stat* Secrets 
 
 88 Irish Yankee 
 
 VOL. XII. 
 
 89 A Good Fellow 
 
 90 Che.ry and Fair Sta* 
 
 91 Gale Breezely 
 9^ Our Jemimy 
 93Miner\:Mtid 
 
 94 Awkward ArrlTal 
 
 95 Crossing the Line 
 
 96 Conjugal Lesson 
 
 VOL. XIII. 
 
 97 My Wife's Mirror 
 9S Life in New Yoik 
 99 Middy Ashore 
 
 I'JO Crown Pricoe 
 
 101 1 wo Queens 
 
 102 Thumping Legacy 
 
 103 Uuf)nis^led OeutlemMa 
 
 104 House Dug 
 
 VOL. XIV. 
 
 105 '''he D-moa Lover 
 ll>b Matrimony 
 
 107 1 a aud Out of Place 
 
 108 I Dine with My Mother 
 
 109 Hi-awa-fha 
 
 VOL. XXIX 
 
 225 Somebody Else 
 
 226 Ladies Battle 
 
 104 Groat Tragic Revival |2.7 Art of Acting 
 
 105 High Low Jack <fc Game 2';8 The Lady of the ties 
 
 156 A Gentleman from lr>.'-l2.9 The Rights of Man 
 
 157 Tom aud Jerry llandl*30 My Husbaud » Ghog 
 i:,8 Village Lawyer 231 Two Can Play at i 
 109 Captain's not A-mise Game 
 160 Azuatfurs and Actora |233 Fighting by Proxy 
 
 VOL. XXI. VOL. XXX. 
 
 233 TTnprotected Female 
 
 234 Pet of the P<»tticoai« 
 
 235 Fjrty and Fifty | b 
 
 236 Who Stole the Pool 
 2!*^ My Son Diana [i 
 238 Unwarrantable In t 
 
 [ties 
 
 167 Take Care of Lmie'239 Mr. and Mrs. White 
 240 A Quiet Family 
 VOL. XXXI. 
 341 Cool as Cucumber 
 242 Sudden Thoughts 
 213 .Tuiiiho Jum 
 2U A Blighted Belnj 
 215 Little 'J oddleklnn 
 
 168 Irish Widow I Charley 
 VOL. xxii. 
 
 169 Yankee Peddlar 
 
 170 Hiram Hircont 
 
 171 Doulle-Bedded Room 
 
 172 The Drama Defended 
 
 173 Vermont Wool Dealer 
 
 174 Ebenezer Venture | ter 246 A Lover by Proxy (> 
 
 175 Principles 'rom Charac-1247 M»Jd with the Mnv 
 
 176 Lady of the Lak9 (Trav) l'i*8 Perplexin"Prod 
 
 "POL. xxm. 
 
 m 5Iad Dofw 
 
 178 Barney the Baroa 
 
 179 Swiss Sw<iin8 
 
 180 Bachelor 8 Bedroom 
 ISl A Roland for an Oliver 
 182 More Blunder* than On4 
 133 Dumb Belle 
 
 112 KoHxauce under Dlfficul-i^'** Lunerick Boy 
 
 VOL.xvr. VOL. XXTV 
 
 lis One Coat for 2 Suita 
 
 1 14 A Decided Case 
 
 115 Daughter (nority 
 n6No; or, the fJlorious Mi- 
 1 17 Coror.er'3 Inquisiiion 
 lis Love in Humble Life 
 
 47 'Twould ''uzzle .i'coull I'J Paraily Jars 
 43 Kill or Cure [I'SO Personation 
 
 VOr.. VII. VOL. XVI. 
 
 ♦9 Box and CoxMam«yaud')2l Children in the Wood 
 60 St. Cupid [Settled i22 Winning a Husbaud 
 
 51 no-to-bed Tom ^ 
 
 62 T e Lawyers 
 6 3 Jack Sheppdid 
 
 64 f he Toodiea 
 
 65 'The Mobcap 
 
 66 Ladies Beware 
 
 VOL. VIII. 
 67Mor»iiigCall 
 
 68 Pop piug the Qneatiea 
 
 69 Deaf as a Post 
 CO New Footman 
 
 hi Pleasant Neighbor 
 
 62 Paddy the Piper 
 
 63 Brian OLina 
 
 64 Irish Assuranoe 
 
 VOL, IX 
 
 65 Temptation 
 
 66 Paddy Carey 
 
 67 Two Gregorica 
 
 68 King Charming 
 
 69 Po-ca-hon-tas 
 70Clockmaker'sHM 
 Tl Married Rake 
 
 72 Love and Marder 
 
 VOL. XXXVIl. 
 SM All the World * a 8tai|;<« 
 SrO Quaxo, or . I'ger Practio* 
 «91 Turn Him </.t 
 tn PreitjOiTUof Stimwrg 
 t9S Angelo/ the Altie 
 194 CirrDm.5t9nrei«itorC»»«» 
 t^5 Katiy <l Sh««l 
 tJf- A B upper to DizU 7 
 
 123 Day after the Fair 
 
 124 Make Your WilU 
 
 125 Rendezvous 
 
 126 My Wife s Husband 
 
 127 aionsieur Tonson 
 
 128 Illustrious Stranger 
 
 VOL. XVII 
 
 129 Mischief-Making [Mines; 
 
 130 A Live Womau in the 
 
 131 The Cowair 
 
 132 ShTlock \ 
 
 133 Spoiled Child "^ 
 
 134 Evil Eye 
 
 135 Nothing to Nurse 
 
 136 Wanted a Widow 
 
 VOL. XVIIL 
 187 Lottery Ticket 
 1S8 Fortune's Frolio 
 
 139 Is he Jealous t 
 
 140 Marrief" ^sachelor 
 
 141 Husuand at Sight 
 14' irishman in Londoa 
 
 143 Anirtal Magnetism 
 
 144 Highways a:.d By- Way! 
 I VOL. XXXVIII. 
 
 297 tc) (m Parle Fraocaia 
 2<'8 WhoKiUedCock KoMn 
 
 299 DcclaiAtioo of iDdepewUB 
 
 300 Bead* er Tails 
 
 301 Obatinale Family 
 S03 My Aunt 
 
 303 That Ratcat Pat 
 
 304 Dan Faddj de Baua 
 
 185 Nature and Philosophv 
 lS6Ted(iy the Tiler 
 187 Spectre Bridgroijm 
 1x8 Matteo Falcone 
 le>9Jenuy Lind -^ 
 
 i:>0 Two Buzzards 
 191 Happv Man 
 1S(2 BetBy" Baker 
 
 VOL. XXV. 
 
 195 No. 1 Round the Comer 
 194 Teddy Roe 
 135 Ohji ct of Interest 
 
 196 My Fellow Clerk 
 
 197 beng.il Tiger 
 
 198 Laughing Hyena 
 l'^9 The Victor Vauqulsbed 
 
 200 Our Wife 
 
 VOL. XXVI. 
 
 201 My Hurband s Mirror 
 
 202 Yankee .^and. 
 
 ,OL. XXXII. 
 
 249 Dr. DilwortU 
 
 250 Out to Nurse 
 
 251 A Lucky Hit 
 
 252 The Dowager 
 
 253 Metamora (Burieftrm" 
 
 254 Dreams of Delui.1. i 
 
 255 1 bo SbaS fer Lov«,r« 
 
 256 Ticklish Times 
 
 VOL. XX sTir. 
 
 257 20Miuulea W;th' ' 
 
 258 Mlriilda: or, the 
 
 of Taeon 
 
 259 A Soldier 8 Conr 
 
 260 Servants by I^g- 
 
 261 Dyicg for Love 
 2B2 AiaruiJng SaoriS<.3 
 26S V'lletdeSham 
 
 264 Nicholas Nicklety 
 VOL. XXXIA 
 
 265 The Last of the ; 
 King Rene'j Da' 
 
 267 The Grotto Ny.i 
 
 268 A Devilish Goo 
 209 A Twice Told T_ 
 
 270 Pasde Fascinati ,a 
 
 271 Revolutionary hi id^" 
 
 272 A Man Without a. He . 
 VOL. XXXV. 
 
 J73 The Olio. Parti 
 
 274 The Olio, Par i 
 
 275 The Olio, Part. | 
 
 276 TheTrurapttcr'.i i)s-' 
 
 277 Seeing Warren 
 
 278 Green Mouuiain Bof 
 2" 9 That Nose 
 280 Tom Noddy's Seer* 
 
 VOL. XXX v. 
 
 203 Norah Creina 
 
 204 Good for Nothing 
 
 205 The First Night 
 
 206 The Emn Boy 
 
 207 Wandering Minstrel 
 
 208 Wanted, lOOO Milliners 
 
 VOL. XXVII. . 
 30£. Poor Pllcoddy _ «. . , 
 
 210 The Mummy iGla8S8Bl28I Shocking Even. 
 
 211 Don'tForgetyour Opera 282 AReguUr Fix 
 
 212 Love in Liverv 283 Diok T jryin 
 
 213 Anrhony and fileopatra (284 Young fee'' ^ 
 
 214 Trying It ( 'n. 1285 Young Act.«!8S 
 
 215 Stage Struck Yankee 286 Call at No, 1-7 
 
 216 Young Wife <k Old Um- 287 One Touch of N».tni: 
 brr"^ '288 Two B' hoys 
 
 VO'L. XXIX. [tnre 
 306 Too M irh for G^odNa- 
 
 ■ 06 Cure for the Fidgets 
 
 SOI Jark'sthfLfd 
 
 3(i.S MuchAdoabuut Nothing 
 
 SOQArtfnlDodpir 
 
 310 Winnlrg Hazard 
 
 .^1 1 In v'bI itl^irg [Ac. 
 
 31 3 Did you everst?nd your, 
 
 VOL. XXX. 
 
 313 An Irishman's Rlanj' 
 3l4<.'ousioFar.nie 
 SlS'TiatbeDarieslHoi 
 '16 M 'qnerade [I' r. ;. 
 317Crowdinethe.c. i.so' 
 SMGo.dNi'jht'sEfl 
 i9Manwith t'rCurp-;; 
 320 Terrible Tinker | 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH & .SON", 128 Nassau .Stukk.. .\t;w