PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PLAYS FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY J5 CENTS EACH p CRANFORD DAMES. 2 Scenes; \y% hours 8 GERTRUDE MASON, M. D. 1 Act; 30 minutes 7 CHEERFUL COMPANION. 1 Act; 25 minutes 2 LESSON IN ELEGANCE. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 3 Acts; \y± hours 6 MURDER WILL OUT. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 ROMANCE OF PHYLLIS. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 1 Act; 45 minutes 5 OUTWITTED. 1 Act; 20 minutes 8 WHITE DOVE OF ONEIDA. 2 Acts; 45 minutes.. 4 SWEET FAMILY. lAct;lhour 8 BELLES OF BLACKVILLE. lAct;2hours 80 PRINCESS KIKU. (2 5 cents) .' 13 RAINBOW KIMONA. (So cents.) 2 Acts; 1^ hours...... 9 MERRY OLD MAIDS. (2 cents.) Motion Song. ... . 11 PLAYS FOR MALE CHARACTERS ONLY J5 CENTS EACH H APRIL FOOLS. 1 Act; 30 minutes 8 BYRD AND HURD. 1 Act; 40 minutes 6 DARKEY WOOD DEALER. 1 Act; 20 minutes 8 WANTED, A MAHATMA. 1 Act: 30 minutes 4 HOLY TERROR. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 MANAGER'S TRIALS. 1 Act; 1 hour 9 MEDICA. lAct; 35 minutes 7 NIGGER NIGHT SCHOOL. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SLIM JIM AND THE HOODOO. 1 Act; 30 minutes 5 WANTED. A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SNOBSON'S STAG PARTY. 1 Act; 1 hour. 12 PICKLES AND TICKLES. 1 Act; 20 minutes 6 HARVEST STORM. 1 Act; 40 minutes v 10 CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKI. Mock Trial; 2 hours....' 28 DARKEY BREACH OF PROMISE CASE. Mock Trial. 22 GREAT LIBEL CASE. Mock Trial; 1 Scene; 2 hours 21 RIDING THE GOAT. Burlesque Initiation; 1 Scene; 1^ hours 24 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y. MY SON ARTHUR A Comedy in One Act By MARY F. KINGSTON Copyright 1916 by Dick & Fitzgerald NEW YORK DICK & FITZGERALD 18 ANN STREET MY SON ARTHUR CHARACTERS Arthur The son Mrs. Appleby A doting mother Jane Perry An athletic girl Evelyn Hays A dance devotee Sally Lewis A student Marie Ogden Stage struck Elsie Jenkins With a susceptible heart Mrs. Pry The hotel gossip Jennie The unexpected guest Hotel Clerk Time. — The present. Locality. — A country town. Time of Playing. — About forty-five minutes. COSTUMES Jane wears a tennis suit, and other characters wear appropriate summer dresses. INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES A book for Sally. Tennis racket for Jane. Paper, envelope, fountain pen and glasses for Mrs. Pry. Mag- azine and box of chocolates for Elsie. STAGE DIRECTIONS As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audience, r. means right-hand, l., left-hand. c. center of stage. d. c, door at center; d. r., door at right, up, means toward back of stage; down, toward footlights. yC"* 2 £ 6 +**~ SEP 12 1916 0cLD 4 %7i IS* I . MY SON ARTHUR SCENE. — Office of a summer hotel. Morning. Desk with hotel register in prominent place, mail box, post cards, candy boxes, etc. Door at center back leading into the hotel. Door at right leading to porch. A rocker and several chairs placed conveniently about the room. At rise of curtain Sally is DISCOVERED absorbed in a book, and the Hotel Clerk is in back of the desk. ENTER Jane, d. c, with tennis racket. Gets mail from clerk. Jane (turns and sees* Sally). Hello, Sally: What? A book so early in the morning? This isn't college — it's a vacation! Sally. I know. That's the reason I'm reading. I don't have any time at college. Jane. All right, you old bookworm, go ahead. I'll read my mail. (Opens a letter and reads with great interest) Sally (looking up and noticing Jane's absorption). From the interest you give that letter, it must be from Dick. Jane (enthusiastically). It is! Sally. Poor Dick. Jane (quickly). Why, what's the matter with him? Sally. Nothing yet. I was thinking how awful it would be if Mrs. Appleby's son should cut him out. Jane (puzzled). Mrs. Appleby? Mrs. Appleby? Oh, yes, I know now the one you mean — that woman who was talking to me last night about her wonderful son. Sally. Yes. Jane. Say, I wonder what sort of a " Triple X" par- agon "My Son Arthur" is, anyway. According to his mother, there isn't a single thing in the world he doesn't 3 4 My Son Arthur excel in, and yet — yea verily — we have never before heard his name spoken of. Amen. Sally (reprovingly). Jane! Don't get sacrilegious! Every time you say a thing like that, the thought track in your brain deepens and makes it easier for you to say such things again. Jane. That's your old psychology! It makes me sick, anyway. I wouldn't study it for a farm. (Disgustedly) The idea of getting ruts in your head every time you think. No, thank you, I'd rather play tennis. (Makes stroke with racket) ENTER Evelyn d. c. She shows her love of dancing in her walk. Evelyn. Whoever saw such a combination — an athlete and a bookworm! Jane. Sally's teaching my tennis racket the latest style in brain cells. Come on and hear. Evelyn (disregarding this remark). Girls, do either of you know Mrs. Appleby? < Jane. "On with the dance!" What's your trouble? Evelyn. None — far from it — it's good news. Mrs. Appleby's son is coming today and she says he dances wonderfully. I'll be so glad, for there isn't a man here who does. But, do you think she might be a little bit preju- Jane (shrugging her shoulders). Such things have hap- pened. His mother told me that he has won six thousand and forty tennis tournaments — or something like that. If she weren't his mother, you'd think she was his matri- monial agent. Sally. Why Jane, what do you mean? Jane. Just this. Do you know Mrs. Pry? That funny little woman who can trace everybody's ancestors from the original monkey? Well, she told Mrs. Hart that she be- lieved that Mrs. Appleby was a shrewd business woman and that she was bound that her son should marry money. Of course it may not be so, it makes (Stops short cls Mrs. Appleby appears at d. k.) Mrs. Appleby. Ah, good morning, girlies. What a My Son Arthur 5 charming picture you make! My son Arthur should be here now. (ENTERS d. r., goes over to the girls, who re- ceive her politely but without enthusiasm, and sits in rocker. She directs her attention to Jane, excluding the other two, who talk in pantomime.) Tennis again? I am so anxious to have you play with Arthur. He just loves tennis! Jane. Is that so? (Strolls over to the hotel register and reads it. Mrs. Appleby turns to Evelyn. Sally reads her book) Mrs. Appleby (to Evelyn). I did so enjoy seeing you dance last night. You are the soul of motion, my dear. I can hardly wait to see you dance with my son Arthur. He is Jane (interrupting). Good-bye people, I'm going down to the courts. (Evelyn starts after her) Coming, Evelyn? Excuse us, Mrs. Appleby. [EXIT Jane and Evelyn, d. r. Mrs. Appleby (turning to Sally, who is reading in- tently). Aren't they charming girls? Which is your favorite? I can't seem to make up my mind which I like the better. Sally (looking up abstractedly). Beg pardon. Did you speak to me? Mrs. Appleby. Yes. I said the girls were charming. Sally (with enthusiasm). Indeed they are — they're splendid! Mrs. Appleby (having gotten Sally's attention). Rather frivolous, though. / prefer a serious girl, one who reads and thinks. So does my son Arthur. I do so hope he will marry a serious girl. Sally (uncomfortably). Yes? Mrs. Appleby (looking at Sally's book). But I am in- truding. Go right on with your reading. I wouldn't interrupt such delight. Sally. I think if you will excuse me, I'll go get another book. Mrs. Appleby. Go right along, my dear. (EXIT Sally c. d. Mrs. Appleby rocks rapidly, drumming on the chair arm) 6 My Son Arthur ENTER Mrs. Pry, d. c. carrying paper, envelope and fountain pen. Sits in chair vacated by Sally. Mrs. Pry (briskly). Fine day, Mrs. Appleby. Mrs. Appleby. It is, indeed. (With quick change to earnestness) Mrs. Pry, who told you that every girl in this house was an heiress? Why, I never knew it until yester- day morning! Mrs, Pry. I've known it for years. You see, Mrs. Waterbury is a friend of mine, and she is related to Jane Perry. Her mother's second cousin's husband was an uncle of Mrs. Perry's niece by marriage, so of course she knows all about them. Mrs. Appleby. How was that? Mrs. Pry. Mrs. Waterbury's mother's second cousin's husband was an uncle of Mrs. Perry 's niece by mar- riage. Mrs. Appleby. You say that Mrs. Waterbury's niece Mrs. Pry. No, no. Mrs. Waterbury's mother's second Mrs. Appleby (cutting in). Oh yes, to be sure. And that's the way you know the Perry s are rich? Mrs. Pry. Yes. I know for a fact that Mr. Perry is worth a million. He made it himself, in copper. His parents were farmers — fine people, but no money. Mr. Perry is a born business man. His wife has always had money. She's the daughter of "Old Sawyer" — you know him, "Old Sawyer of Wall Street." Fine old man, they said, but a perfect wizard at making money. He must have inherited it, for they say he is a direct descendant of Croesus — and you know who Croesus was! Mrs. Appleby. Oh yes — but Jane? Is she Mrs. Pry. No. You'd never know from Jane that they had a cent. She cares more for tennis than for dollars. Mrs. Appleby. And are the others just as rich? Mrs. Pry. Mrs. Waterbury says they are, and as she's a relative of the Perry s', she ought to know. Mrs. Appleby (almost smacking her lips). Ummm! All rich! Ummm! My Son Arthur 7 ENTER Marie d. c. She goes to desk, buys candy, and gets mail. Mrs. Pry {nodding toward Marie). Now there's Marie Ogden. She's another who isn't satisfied with money alone. She wants a career. Wants to go on the stage, but her mother won't let her. Mrs. Appleby. Is her mother a puritan? Mrs. Pry. Oh dear, no. It isn't that — only she thinks it is absolute foolishness to work if one isn't forced to do it. Between you and me, the Ogclens would never have had their money if it had been left to Mrs. Ogden to make it. She was one of the Joneses from Dover and her people never had a cent. Why, her brother is so shiftless that he wouldn't walk if he could get somebody to carry him. Mrs. Waterbury says that all Mrs. Ogden's relations are like that. Why one of her nieces had a husband whose brother's wife's sister was a perfect lazybones, so you can see that it runs in the family. But don't tell anybody I said that, for I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was criticising! Well, I must go finish a letter to my husband. I feel that it is my duty to write to him once in a while when he is down in the hot city all alone. (EXIT Mrs. Pry d. r. Marie leaves the desk and tries to avoid Mrs. Ap- pleby) Mrs. Appleby. My dear, are you in too much of a hurry to talk to a lonely old woman for a minute. Marie. Of course not. Mrs. Appleby. I've been hearing great things about your dramatic talent. {Pinches Marie's cheek playfully) I never dreamed we had an actress in our midst. Marie. Oh, I'm not a real actress — I only wish I were. I think it must be the most wonderful thing in the world. Mrs. Appleby. But why don't you go on the stage? Marie. My mother won't let me. Mrs. Appleby. Then why not marry? Now if you would only marry a man like my son Arthur, you could have your career and a devoted husband, as well. Arthur just dotes on the stage. (Marie is nonplussed at this extravagance and is about to protest) 8 My Son Arthur ENTER Mrs. Pry d. r. with letter, which she mails. Marie. Excuse me. [EXIT d. c. Mrs. Pry. Well, that letter is written and my con- science is clear for another week. The worst part of leaving your husband for the summer, is writing letters to him. Mrs. Appleby. Yes, I find it convenient to be a widow. ENTER Elsie d. r., with a magazine and a box of chocolates. She sits in a comfortable chair and begins to eat and read. Mrs. Appleby. Who is that girl? Mrs. Pry. That's Elsie Jenkins. She's a nice little thing but without an overabundance of brains. Good hearted, though, and so trusting it's funny. She takes it honestly enough. Her mother was just the same, they say. She married ever so young and died when Elsie was a little baby. They say she was just like Elsie is. Her father was a minister. They say that he was related to our pastor. I think his wife was our pastor's wife's uncle's cousin. I'm not quite sure, but I think that is the way it was. Elsie comes from a fine family, and she is so good hearted. Her only drawback is that she stutters. Mrs. Appleby. I think I'd like to meet her. Have they lots of money? Mrs. Pry. More than they can spend. They say that Mr. Jenkins lies awake nights, wondering how to use it. Mrs. Appleby. Call her over and introduce us, won't you? Mrs. Pry. Elsie, come here a moment. I want to present you to Mrs. Appleby. (They exchange courtesies. Mrs Pry picks up Elsie's magazine) Mrs. Appleby (to Elsie). My dear child, this hotel is wonderful. Each girl I meet is lovelier than the last. I can't wait until my son Arthur comes. Elsie (stuttering). Your s-s-s-son? W-w-when is he coming? Mrs. Appleby. Very soon, now. Elsie. How p-p-perfectly 1-lovely. W-what is he like? My Son Arthur 9 Mrs. Appleby (with feigned modesty). How can I say. Love's spectacles magnify. Elsie. How b-b-beautifully you talk. (Sadly) But maybe he won't notice me. Mrs. Appleby. Oh yes he will. Leave that to me. You can't tell, it might be a case of love at first sight. Elsie (in raptures). Oh, I sh-sh-should p-perfectly 1-love it. Mrs. Appleby. You dear enthusiastic child! Arthur loves enthusiasm. Maybe you two were made for each other. Elsie. H-how w-w-wonderful! P-p-papa would be so p-pleased. Mrs. Appleby. Yes? Elsie. You see, m-my mother is d-dead and I am the only ch-child, and our house is so dull. N-nothing in it but s-servants. And p-papa is so anxious to have me get married. Mrs. Appleby (with suppressed excitement). Servants? Ummm! Er — how many have you, dear? Elsie. I-I-I don't kn-know. I n-never counted them. But I know one th-th-thing, when I g-get a home of my own, I w-wont have one! I'll sc-sc-scrub and sw-sw-sweep, and everything. Mrs. Appleby. Oh, my dear, no. That would be foolish. Just think of the people who would love to have servants. Elsie. They w-wouldn't if they loved h-housework and never had a chance to d-do any. Mrs. Appleby. You funny child. Why don't you get married and do as you like? Elsie. G-g-getting married w-wouldn't help any, for I'd have to 1-live home with pa-papa and all those s-s-ser- vants, for p-papa will take my h-husband into the bu-busi- ness with him. Mrs. Appleby (admonishingly) . My darling child! Don't tell that to everybody, for some mothers would try to make a match between you and their sons. You may tell me, for it is all right. Do you know, you are just ex- actly the kind of a girl I would like to see my son Arthur marry. 19 My Son Arthur Elsie. Am I, r-r-really? How p-perfectly d-d-divine! Mrs. Pry (looking up from the magazine and interrupt- ing). Well, I think I'll go down to the tennis courts and watch them play. Do you care to come, Mrs. Appleby? Mrs. Appleby. Thank you, I think I will. (To Elsie) Good-bye, my dear. Be sure you are around so that I may present Arthur to you. (EXIT Mrs. Pry and Mrs. Ap- pleby d. r. Elsie sighs happily, takes a large chocolate and opens her magazine) ENTER Jane and Evelyn d. c. Jane (looking around) . I wonder where Cupid has gone? My, how I don't like that woman! She's too ikky sweet. Evelyn (charitably). That's just her manner, I think. Jane. Then it's her manner that I don't like. I feel sure I'd never care for her as a mother-in-law. Evelyn (quickly). What do you mean? Jane. She has kindly invited me to throw myself at the head of "My Son Arthur" that's all. Of course I've never seen her little boy so I have nothing against him. Just the same, I'm not going to have him, or anybody else, thrust at me by some matchmaker. Evelyn. I can't imagine what you mean. Jane. Well, at first she literally made me promise to play tennis with him. That isn't so bad, for he'd have to stay on the other side of the net, anyway — but when Mrs. Appleby tells me how anxious she is to have her son marry a tennis playing mate, I feel that it is time to look out. Evelyn (getting interested). What did she say to you? Jane. Oh, a lot of stuff — mainly that her dear son loved tennis so well that he would be sure to love me for loving it. I don't remember all she said, for that was the order of it. Evelyn. How funny! Why she said almost the same thing to me only it was about dancing instead of tennis. Jane. She did? Great Scott, let's look at the register. Perhaps they're Mormons! (They dash over to the register. Elsie looks up from her magazine. They turn and catch her eye) My Son Arthur 11 Jane. Do you know where Sally is, Elsie? Elsie. Out on the p-p-porch. I'll t-tell her you want her. [EXIT Elsie d. r. ENTER Sally d. r. Sally. Elsie says you want me. Jane. I do. Sally, do you want to marry Mrs. Apple- by's son? Sally. Don't talk foolishness, Jane. I thought you wanted me for something. Jane. This is certainly something — and something serious. Do you want to marry "My Son Arthur?" Sally. Of course I don't — and you know it. Jane. Then join the union, or you may get caught. I'm going to do all I can to save my friends from a plain, unvarnished conspiracy. Sally {sedately). Jane, you sound like a trashy novel. Jane. Just the same I'm deadly in earnest. I have reason to believe that Mrs. Appleby is here to marry one of us to this son of hers. Now, I have decided to form a " Society for the Prevention of Undesirable Matrimony," and you've got to join. Listen. Has Mrs. Appleby ever said anything to you about how much she would like it if her son Arthur should fall in love with a girl who was always reading? Sally. Yes, she did say something like that. Evelyn (looking at Jane). What do you think of that? Jane (with decision). Now I'm sure. We'd better settle this thing right away. I'll go get the other girls. You wait here. [EXIT Jane d. r. Evelyn. Isn't Jane a dear? She's lots more worried over us than she is herself. Sally. Yes — it seems as if she were always looking after us. ENTER Jane, Elsie and Marie d. r. Jane (to Elsie and Marie). Will you girls answer any question I ask? 12 My Son Arthur Elsie. Oh, I've pl-pl-played this g-g-game before. I th-th-thought you were going to t-talk about s-s-something r-real. Evelyn (impressively). Don't worry — it's real enough. Jane (to Elsie). Elsie, has Mrs. Appleby ever told you that you would make a perfect wife for her son Arthur? Elsie. I'm n-not g-g-going to tell you, Jane P-P-Perry. It was all c-c-c-confidential. Jane (to Marie). Marie, does this sound familiar? (Imitating Mrs. Appleby) "My dear, if you would only marry my son Arthur, you could go on with your career and become a wonderful actress. You should marry him, my dear." Marie (almost out of sorts). Where were you? Jane (pretending not to understand). Where was I? When? Marie. When Mrs. Appleby said those things to me! (Laughing) But what difference does it make, I'd have told you anyway. Yes, it does sound very familiar. Jane. Now listen to me, girls, if you don't want to get caught by a regular matrimonial agent of a mother, avoid Mrs. Appleby! Elsie. J-J-Jane, that is the first c-c-catty thing I ever heard you say. Mrs. Appleby is 1-1-lovely, and I won't have her insulted even b-by my b-b-best friends, so there! Jane. All right, Elsie — you don't have to join the union. All we ask is that you will listen to our meeting, and keep it a secret. But you must listen. This morning, Mrs. Appleby kept harping on how her son loved tennis, and how she hoped that he would marry a tennis player, and all that sort of thing. From what you girls have ad- mitted I find that she has said practically the same thing to you, only with the words dancing, books, home-life, theatre, as the case might be. Elsie (almost tearfully). It d-doesn't seem p-p-pos- sible! Jane. What shall we do with the audience? It is talk- ing back! Sally. If I were you, I'd listen to her story if she will tell it. My Son Arthur 13 Elsie. T-t-tell it? I'm b-b-bursting! That five-faced woman! And I've m-made an appointment to m-m-meet her old son! Sally (gently). Don't feel badly, dear. She almost hood-winked us all. Evelyn. Not all — Jane was awake. Jane. But now the question is, what are we going to do? Sally. What can we do? Evelyn (hopelessly). I haven't an idea. Marie (dramatically). Let's kill the villain with dirks! Elsie. L-1-let's all g-g-go home. Jane. No, let's all make him propose, and we'll all accept him. He can't marry us all, and just see the pickle he will be in. Elsie (whose heart is soft). I w-wonder if h-he's hand- some? Jane. Never mind if he is. Don't you dare like him! Remember, when you are pleasant to him you will only be acting a part, and if you dare get serious, we'll all disown you for a friend. Oh, I see chaos ahead! Elsie. P-p-perhaps he will be ugly, and then it w-won't be h-hard. Jane. Now look here, Elsie, if there's going to be any danger, we'll lock you in your room. Sally (gently). You stay with me, Elsie. I won't let you fall in love, really. ENTER Mrs. Appleby d. c. Mrs. Appleby. Ah, here you are — all together. How glad I am, for my son is coming any minute and you will all be here to meet him. Isn't that charming? (To Elsie, aside) Of course, I am anxious to have Arthur meet all of your friends, but I am sure he will like you best. Sally (seeing trouble ahead). Elsie — pardon me, Mrs. Appleby — did you find the handkerchief I put on your bureau? Elsie (not understanding). Wh-wh-what handkerchief? Sally. One I borrowed. (Shakes her head warningly at Elsie^ 14 My Son Arthur Mrs. Appleby. I believe they are coming. (Hurries over to d. r. The girls preen themselves) ENTER d. r. Arthur, a sad imitation of a man, a weakling and a sissy — but girlishly pretty. Mrs. Appleby rushes up to him and throws her arms around his neck. The girls are in a state of silent excitement. Jane ivants to laugh; Elsie to cry; and Marie to faint. They do some pan- tomime work. Arthur. Hullo, mamma! (Goes to desk and registers) Mrs. Appleby (to Arthur). I am so glad you have come. I have never seen so many lovely girls — lovely and rich!! Arthur (absently). Y' don't say so. Mrs. Appleby (with suppressed excitement) . And every one an heiress, so you can take your pick. Arthur (uninterestedly) . That so! I'll go to my room now, mamma. Mrs. Appleby. No, wait. Miss Jenkins! (Elsie leaves the group of girls and goes over) I want to present My Son Arthur. Excuse me, and I'll go get the other girls. (She leaves them alone) Elsie (waiting for him to speak). H-h-have you ever b-b-been here b-b-before? Arthur (with embarrassment). No, that is, yes, er, — I beg your pardon, what was it you said? Elsie. I asked you i-if you h-h-had ever been h-here before. It's a lovely place. Don't you like it? Arthur. No, that is, er, yes. I think I'll go to my room now. (Turns to go out but is confronted with his mother and Sally) Mrs. Appleby (gushingly). And now, Arthur dear, I want to present you to Miss Lewis — a wonderful student. Arthur. How do you do, Miss Lewis. I am going to my room now, mamma! Mrs. Appleby (dolefully). But the others will be so disappointed. Why, they've been waiting around all the morning to meet you. Come, dear, and I'll present you. (They go over to the group and Arthur is presented in pan- tomime) My Son Arthur 15 Elsie (to Sally). I-Isn't he rather — Arthur (to group)* Glad to know you. I'll go to my room now, mamma. (Hurried EXIT at d. c., followed by Mrs. Appleby. The girls look at each other aghast) Jane. Cordial sample, isn't he? Elsie. Maybe it's bec-c-cause he's b-b-bashful. I think he h-h-has a lovely f-f-face. All. Elsie!!! Elsie. I-I-I'm sorry for h-him. Jane (getting alarmed). Now, Elsie, you can't like him — ■ even if you should want to. Remember how lonely you would be at college if we all stopped being your friends. Elsie. Oh, of c-c-course I'll do my p-part, but I f-feel like an awful s-sneak. Jane. Well, you needn't — for you are just acting a part. We'll all help you. {Turning to group) Imagine his playing tennis! I believe I could beat him with my arms tied behind me. Come on, let's go get some air. [EXIT Sally, d. c, other Girls d. r. ENTER d. r. Mrs. Pry, who seeks the register. Mrs. Pry (adjusting her glasses and reading). Arthur Claude Appleby! Ugh, writes like a knock-kneed jelly fish!! (She looks up) ENTER Arthur and Sally d. c. Sally (talking rapidly) . I am so glad you like psychol- ogy. Your mother told me how interested you were in the subject, and it is so hard to get anybody here to talk about it. Arthur (stupidly). Ah ah yes. Sally. Do you believe that hypnotism is a scientific benefit or a pernicious practise? Arthur (in a maze). Yes, I do. Sally. You do what? Arthur (hopelessly). What you said. Sally. I'm so glad. It is certainly difficult to get an opinion like that from most people. 16 My Son Arthur ENTER Marie d. r. Marie. Oh, Mr. Appleby, your mother has told me how fond you are of the theatre, and I wanted to ask you which you thought the better actress, Sarah Bernhardt or Eva Tanguay? Arthur. Ah, that is, er, I really don't know. I never saw either of them. ENTER other girls d. r. They form a group around Arthur, and talk in pantomime. ENTER Mrs. Ap- pleby, d. c. Mrs. Appleby (rushing up) . Ah, there you are. Come, young folks, they are just going to start a baseball game. Don't you want to come out and see it? All (except Arthur). Oh, yes. [EXIT All d. r. RE-ENTER Arthur d. r., followed closely by Elsie. Arthur turns and looks around for a place of escape. Elsie (with reproach). W-w-why did you r-run away? Arthur (petulantly). I don't want to see their old game. Elsie. But y-you w-w-wouldn't spoil everything, would you? Arthur. No. Go ahead and watch — you don't have to stay here. Elsie. After w-w-waiting all d-day for you to c-c- come! ENTER Evelyn d. r. Evelyn. I wondered what had become of you, Mr. Appleby, for I thought if you did not care for the ball game, you might come out on the porch and teach me the dances that have come out since I have been up here. You don't mind, do you Elsie? (Puts her arm through Arthur's and they EXIT d. r. Elsie looks after them re- gretfully) My Son Arthur 17 ENTER Mks. Appleby d. r. Mrs. Appleby. What, my dear, sitting here all alone? Where's Arthur? Elsie. H-he's j-j-just gone out on the p-p-porch. Mrs. Appleby. I'm afraid Arthur is not well today. You wait until you see him at his best. Do you know, I believe that he does like you best of all! Elsie. R-r-really? But I d-don't dare 1-like him. If I d-did, my fr-fr-friends Mrs. Appleby (interrupting). I know, but he can't marry them all, so it is all right for me to be glad that you are the one. I am sure it is a love match. (Elsie plainly in raptures) ENTER d. r. Jane who suspects what is going on. Jane. Elsie, we've been looking all over for you. You're missing the whole game, (EXIT Jane and Elsie d. r. Mrs. Appleby nods her head in emphatic approval at Elsie's departing figure) ENTER Arthur d. r. He appears much dejected. Mrs. Appleby. Having a good time, darling? Arthur. No. Mrs. Appleby. What? Arthur (correcting himself). No, mamma! Mrs. Appleby. What's the matter? Can't you decide which one of the girls you like best? Arthur. I don't like any of them, mamma. Mrs. Appleby (severely). You don't? What do you think I spent all that money to bring you up here, for? You've got to like one of them. Haven't I told you that they are all rich? ENTER Jane d. r. Jane. Oh, Mr. Appleby, we're going to have a game of charades now that the ball game is over. Our side is going 18 My Son Arthur to give the word decipher and we want you to represent the cipher. (Arthur tries to protest, but she drags him off) [EXIT Jane and Arthur d. c, followed by Mrs. Appleby. ENTER Sally d. r. She drops into a chair and is soon lost in her book. Then ENTER Elsie d. r. Looks around in a guilty fashion. She startles the usually placid Sally. Sally (jumping). Goodness, how you scared me. I be- lieve this intrigue is making me nervous. Elsie. I-I'm not g-g-going to do it any m-more — for really, I th-think Mr. Appleby is q-q-quite nice. Sally. Suppose he is? You dear, silly girl, I believe you've begun to romance. You'd better not let Jane know it. Elsie. I-I-I don't like the w-w-way Jane is acting, anyway. Honest, Sally, d-d-don't you think he has 1-lovely eyes? ENTER other girls d. r. Jane. Where's Arthur? I've lost him again. Elsie. I th-th-think he's gone out, and I don't b-b- blame him. Jane. But we've just begun. Elsie. I-I've st-st-stopped. I like Mr. Appleby, so there. (EXIT Elsie d. c. hastily. The girls look at each other) Sally. Don't you think we'd better stop? I'm afraid we are making Elsie feel that Mr. Appleby needs a cham- pion. Jane. For goodness' sake, who would have ever ex- pected this? I can't understand Elsie! Sally. That's because you have never been starved by loneliness. You leave Elsie to me. And if I were you, I wouldn't say any more about our intrigue to her. Jane. We're going on with it just the same. I'm not going to let that woman get the best of Brandford College! Evelyn. Of course, we will stand by you, Jane. My Son Arthur 19 ENTER Mrs. Appleby d. c. Mrs. Appleby. My dear girls! It looks as though you were planning some delightful scheme. Won't you tell me, too? I wish Arthur were here to listen to it, but I think (Meaningly) that he has gone off to decide a big question. Mrs. Pry said he went over to the railroad station, but he may be back any minute. Come now, tell me what you were plotting, (turning) Oh, here's Arthur, now. ENTER Arthur d. r. Jane (aside to Marie). See how guilty he looks. Per- haps he has decided to accept one of us, after all. Marie. Shhh ! Listen ! ! Mrs. Appleby. Well, Arthur, have you made up your mind? Arthur. What about, mamma? Mrs. Appleby (in an undertone). About getting mar- ried. Arthur (uneasily). Yes, mamma. Mrs. Appleby (looks around the group appraisingly and beckons Elsie to her side) . Girls, Arthur is going to tell us something so interesting that I want to share it with you. Go on, Arthur. Arthur. I have decided that as long as you were so anxious to have me get married, I'd better do it. Mrs. Appleby (gushingly). My dear boy! Arthur. You don't know how hard it was for me to choose, but as long as you are always keeping at me to get married, I have chosen the girl I like best. (Beckons toward d. r.) I hope you will be pleased, mamma. (EN- TER Jennie, the Unexpected Guest, d. r,) This is Jennie. She used to work in the Bee Hive Store, but I married her yesterday. Go kiss mamma, Jennie. (Jen- nie starts toward Mrs. Appleby. Mrs. Appleby stares at her, speechless. The girls are amazed.) CURTAIN COMEDIES AND DRAMAS BISCUITS AND BILLS A comedy in 1 act, by O. B. DuBois. 3 male, 1 female character. Modern costumes. 1 easy interior scene. Time, about lj hours. Prom start to finish there is not a dull moment in this little comedy; it is brimful of fun, of rapid action, and of sparkling dialogue, and when played with the " dash " it requires, is sure to be a success. 2, PRICE 25 CENTS SIMPKINS' LITTLE BREAKFAST PARTY A farce in 1 act, by Charles S. Bird. 4 male, 3 female characters. Cos- tumes modern. 1 plain interior scene. Time, l£ hours. Simpkins, having inherited a fortune, is spending a winter in New York, leaving his fiancee in his small home city. He becomes enamoured of an actress and invites her to a little breakfast at his apartments. She accepts with the under* standing that she be accompanied by her father, a widower, who proves to be an old flame of the widowed mother of Simpkins' fiancee. For reasons Which soon become obvious, the major sends her a hint of Simpkins' gay life, and suggests her presence in the city to investigate. She decides ac- cordingly, and the inopportune arrival of herself and daughter causes com- plications of the most ludicrous and comical variety. m PRICE 25 CENTS LODGERS TAKEN IN* A comedy in 3 acts, by Levin C. Tees. 6 male, 4 female characters, also 2 supernumeraries. 1 interior scene. Time, about 2\ hours. Costumes of to-day. A husband with a strong case of the " green-eyed monster " taking a trip abroad with his wife, places his home in charge of his ne'er-do-well nephew. By connivance the valet of the house and the nephew rent the rooms to a very mixed class of tenants, whose diversified characters present great opportunity for comedy acting. The dialogue is very bright, the ac- tion continuous and the situations most laughable. This is adapted from the same work upon which William Gillette's famous " All the Comforts of Home " is based, with all the comedy parts retained, but the remainder brought down for a smaller cast and shorter time. PRICE 25 CENTS J THE NEW PASTOR Vaudeville sketch in 1 act, by Willis N. Bugbee. 2 male, 2 female char- acters. 1 easy interior scene. Time, if played straight, about 30 minutes; specialties to suit may be introduced. The New Pastor and Miss Colton meet accidently at Deacon Brown's house and, much to the surprise of the deacon, he learns that at one time they were good friends on the vaudeville stage. What the result is, is told in the climax. Good parts throughout. m PRICE 15 CENTS STANDING ROOM ONLY A comedy in 1 act, by Dwight S. Anderson. 3 male, 1 female character. 1 very simple interior scene. Time, about 35 minutes. An exceedingly clever and vivacious sketch with plenty of humor. The cast contains a crabbed father; his son, a collegian; abutter, and a very superior juvenile female lead. All character parts and all good. PRICE 15 CENTS A STORMY NIGHT A comedy In 1 act, by Katharine Kavanaugh. 3 male, 1 female character. 1 interior scene. Time, about 40 minutes. All the parts are good, especially that of Mrs. Bobinson. The dialogue is crisp, up-to-date, and somewhat on the order of a cross-fire sketch. As a bright and witty little comedy, highly recommended. PRICE 15 CENTS MILITARY PLAYS 25 CENTS EACH H. BY THE ENEMY'S HAND. 4 Acts; 2 hours 10 EDWARDS, THE SPY. 5 Acts; 2V£ hours 10 PRISONER OF ANDERSON VILLE. 4 Acts; 234 hours.. 10 CAPTAIN DICK. 3 Acts; 1% hours 9 ISABEL, THE PEARL OF CUBA. 4 Acts; 2 hours 9 LITTLE SAVAGE. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 4 BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. (15 cents.) 5 Acts; 2^ hours 9 BETWEEN TWO FIRES. 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(15 cents) 11 8 COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 25 CENTS EACH M. 7. BREAKING HIS BONDS. 4Acte;2hours 6 3 BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE. 3 Acts; 2J^ hours 11 6 COLLEGE CHUMS. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 9 3 COUNT OP NO ACCOUNT. 3 Acts; 2^ hours 9 4 DEACON. 5 Acts; 2}^ hours... 8 6 DELEGATES PROM DESTEB. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 3 10 DOCTOR BY COURTESY. 3Acts;2hours 6 5 E ASTSIDERS, The. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 8 4 ESCAPED FROM THE LAW. 5 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 GIRL FROM PORTO RICO. 3 Acts; 2^ hours 5 3 GYPSY QUEEN. 4 Acts; 2}4 hours 5 3 IN THE ABSENCE OF SUSAN. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 6 JAILBIRD. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 6 3 JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP. 4 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 MY LADY DARRELL. 4Acts; 2^hours 9 6 MY UNCLE FROM INDIA. 4 Acts; 2V$ hours 13 4 NEXT DOOR. 3Acts;2hours 6 4 PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 REGULAR FLIRT. 3Acts;2hours 4 4 ROGUE'S LUCK. 3 Acts; 2 hours 5 3 SQUIRE'S STRATAGEM. 6 Acts; 2^J hours 6 4 STEEL KING. 4 Acta; 2^ hours 5 3 WHAT'S NEXT? & Acts; 2J* hours 7 4 WHITE LIE. 4 Acts; 2V6 hours 4 8 WESTERN PLAYS 25 CENTS EACH ROCKY FORD. 4 Acts; 2 hours. 8 3 GOLDEN GULCH. 3 Acts; 2»4 hours 11 3 RED ROSETTE. 3 Acts: 2 hours 6 3 MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. 4 Acts; 2^ hours... 5 8 STUBBORN MOTOR CAR. 8 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 CRAWFORD'S CLAIM. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 2)4 hours. 9 8 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publisher*, 18 Ann Street,'N. Y. $$$ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 017 400 749 4