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B-IF 
 
 A PARODY 
 
 By GEORGE H BUCHANAN 
 
 Published by 
 ARNOLD AND COMPANY 
 
 Philadelphia 
 
Copyrigfht, 1911 
 By Arnold and Company, Philadelphia 
 
 I V" V 
 
 ©C1.A292630 
 
If you can keep your hair 
 upon your head 
 
 While other men you know 
 are losing theirs, 
 
 If you can trust to credit 
 for your bread 
 
 And deave that knowledge 
 safely to your heirs; 
 
i 
 
 
 If you can stop the wild 
 beats of your heart 
 
 When next you gaze upon 
 a pretty face, 
 
 And say *'be still/' and play 
 a Spartan part — 
 
 Why, you're a wonder of 
 the human race. 
 
■ 
 
 If you can eat Welsh rare- 
 bit late at night 
 
 And not have lurid visions 
 in your dreams, 
 
 If you can poker play 'till 
 morning light 
 
 And not make inroads on 
 your slender means; 
 
 
m 
 
 If you can smoke, and drink 
 all kinds of drink 
 
 From champagne cup to 
 Pilsner beer in stein, 
 
 And steady keep, nor care 
 what friends may think— 
 
 You're in a class all by 
 yourself — not mine. 
 
 1 
 
If you can make the world 
 believe you're pious, 
 
 While inwardly you're 
 wicked as **01d Sam," 
 
 If you can daily lie like 
 Ananias 
 
 And never lose the faith of 
 any man ; 
 
m 
 
 If you can graft, and keep 
 the secret hidden, 
 
 And stow the filthy lucre 
 in your bank. 
 
 Then turn upon your tools 
 when you are bidden— 
 
 You'll make a politician of 
 highest rank. 
 
If you can go through Hfe 
 without an aim 
 
 And shirk the work God 
 gives all men to do, 
 
 If you can tread the paths 
 of sin and shame 
 
 And think you'll never have 
 to pay your due; 
 
 Ml 
 
 
If you can cheat, and fill 
 each golden minute 
 
 With deeds of vice instead 
 of honors won, 
 
 Yours is the Earth— at least 
 that part of it 
 
 On which the county jail 
 is built — my son ! 
 
JUL 21 mt 
 
One copy del. to Cat. Div. 
 
 JUl 2t 19li