■ ■■■ MB 1BJ 1BJJ row WORDS WITH THE PARENT. WORDS WITH THE PARENT 0¥ FAMILY TRAINING. • BY REV. W. A. NICHOLS, Principal of the Brookfield Family School. "That oar sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace." Kisg David. BOSTON: S. K. WHIPPLE & C 0. 1853. .Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1853, hy W. A. Nich- ols, in the Clerk's office of the District Court of Massachusetts. Worcester: Printed by Henry J. Howland. TO MY RESPECTED PATRONS, THE FATHERS AND MOTHERS OF THE BROOKFIELD FAMILY SCHOOL THIS LITTLE VOLUME IS GRATEFULLY INSCRIBED NOTE. Those who read these pages will find, not the details, but the principles, in accordance with which the pupils of the family mansion are instructed and trained. They are set forth in this public form, with the humble hope, that what- ever has been found useful here, may be usefully employed by others. The author embraces this opportunity, cordially to express his sense of obligation, especially, to his early patrons whose permanent patronage, through a series of years, sustained this nursery institution, while it was acquiring a name and a reputation beyond the limits of the Commonwealth. Num- bers of those children, now advanced to manhood, have freely expressed their indebtedness to this early household training. These expressions, the teachers would now reciprocate with parental affection ; while they sincerely hope, that the mature age of no one will have suffered from this early relation. BrooTcfield, Nov. 1852. CONTENTS I. Introductory, 9 II. Self-Control, a Eeqnisite in Family Training, - 12 HI. Father and Mother constitute the Social Head of the Family, 25 IV. Family Training includes Discipline and Instruction, 34 V. Words respecting the Subject of this Training, - 38 VI. The Divine Government as a Model for the Parent, 45 VII. Features in the Divine Government, which are applicable to Family Training, ... 52 VEH. More Features in the Divine Government Illustrated, 64 IX. Proper Training requires Time, - 72 X. Too much Government Hurtful, .... 84 XI. Yes or No, 89 XII. Period of Training, 94 Xm. Physical Training, 103 Vlll CONTENTS. XIV. Physical Training, 109 XV. Physical Training. — Hints and Cautions, - - 117 XVI. Moral Instruction, 125 XVII. Moral Instruction, 131 XVIII. Early Piety, ----.-- 139 XIX. Early Piety : — Its Loveliness and Value, - - 145 XX. Growth of Early Piety, 153 XXI. Juvenile Eeading, 161 XVII. Youthful Amusements, 174 XXin. Juvenile Beneficence, - - - - - 188 FAMILY TRAINING. i. INTRODUCTORY. A rising family is a scene of rare beauty ; — es- pecially, when the natural relation of parents and children is thoroughly understood, and harmoni- ously sustained. -Here is more than a scene for the painter. It is a charming reality, which no truly social heart can fail to enjoy. It has beau- ties which no pencil can portray,* and, in the home bosom, it will find responses which no lan- guage can adequately express. Indeed, if there could be perfect happiness anywhere this side of a heaven of perfect holiness, I should feel inclined to seek it first, in a well trained and well regula- ted pious family. For sure I am, that no com- bination of society is more wisely adapted to secure true enjoyment to its members. % 10 FAMILY TRAINING. At the suggestion of some kind friends, I pro- pose to offer some practical thoughts respecting the training of children. It has been suggest- ed, that I might very naturally do this from the position which I have for some time occupied in society. I have been a father; and have felt, what none but a parent knows, a new fountain of being, as it were, developed within me, and gush- ing forth to meet and receive the new being pre- sented, as the gift of God, in a darling child. But, with me, these objects were destined to a brief continuance ; — -perhaps I should rather say to a speedy change. For I am inclined to be- lieve, that no true parent loves his darling any the less, because removed from his sight by the hand of the Benevolent Giver. And since those little ones, who used to climb my knees and say, " My own Dear Father," have been transferred, my experience in family training has not been less full and constant; and I am now writing with no less than twenty-five around me, who look this way for protection and care, — to whom, from my intimate relations, I owe a good exan> INTRODUCTORY. 1 1 pie, and the best training my humble ability can secure. If I do not bring to this subject an ex? perience so protracted as that which many others have enjoyed, still with me, the experience of many years has been concentrated into a few. Though I cannot offer the very desirable certifi- cate of hoary locks and a wrinkled brow, I would respectfully suggest the authority of no inconsid- erable number of facts, extending over such vari- ety of observation, as should, to some extent, form the basis of correct conclusion. I shall talk freely with my readers, as an honest man talketh with his friend, on matters of no trivial importance, In discussing the moral bearings of this sub- ject^ the Bible will be my leading text-book. From it, I shall endeavor to ascertain the mind of the Great Teacher; and hope that all matters, which lie above the common range of human opinion, will be cheerfully submitted to the obvk ous decisions of God's Word. I shall mainly discuss principles, from which the detail may be inferred by the aid of due re- 12 FAMILY TRAINING. flection; and any suggestions, as to modes and rules for household use, will be deductions from known principles of the human mind, established by facts, gathered by observation. In short, it will be my object to write from the bosom of a real home, — one that is loved and enjoyed ; be- lieving also that I write for the responsible in- mates of other real homes of a similar character ; and that we all may be made happier and better by renewed contemplations of our duty, and by a renewed perseverance in our practice. II. SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE IN FAMILY TRAINING. I presume on the hearty concurrence of my readers who may be parents, when I say that self-control in the parent, is eminently conducive to success in family government. You know, that in estimating the probable success of any performance, the fitness of the instrument is to SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 13 have no small share of consideration. As tem- perature and atmosphere do much to crown the efforts of the husbandman with satisfactory re- sults, so the spirit and manner of prosecuting this work, will essentially modify the issues. We know that a concord of sweet sounds is never drawn from a set of ill-adjusted strings ; so neith- er do the fruits of well-adjusted harmony arise from spasmodic and variable movements in the directive influence of a family. The most beau- tiful and delicate flower does not develop its rich folds to perfection, under the rapid alternations of excessive heat and cold. Surely the laws of na- ture must be more uniform in their operations, else their products will be more imperfect and less valuable. But equanimity of temper and carriage is no less valuable in training " the olive- plants " which spring up around your table, and fire-side. Indeed, you will allow me to say, that self-government in the parent, is absolutely essen- tial to any tolerable success with the children. On the contrary, wherever this control is perse- veringly exercised, in connection with a tolerable 14 FAMILY TRAINING. degree of good sense, we hardly anticipate a seri- ous failure. Self-control is especially needed to secure the requisite degree of equanimity in the varied move- ments towards the child. Without some degree of this, we cannot even commence in a proper manner. We know that the husbandman, the mechanic, and the artist, place great reliance upon the uni- formity of natural laws, for success in prosecuting their several departments of enterprise. If these laws were not substantially true to themselves, no definite results could be predicated, when they were laid under contribution for a definite object. And equanimity in the parent, is hardly less es- sential to the successful training of the child. This position will doubtless suggest the case of more than one parent, whose theory of family government looks well enough on paper; and there is no lack of desire to put this theory into successful practice. These parents show suffi- cient solicitude for the welfare of those dear ones committed to their charge. If theory, and SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 15 desire, and solicitude, could of themselves accom- plish the work, the character of the child would not want for excellence. But so variable are the feelings, and in many instances, so uncontrollable is the impulse, and consequently so irregular and inconstant is the treatment, that the child can predicate no certainty as to what direction the administration of the government he is under will next take ; or what phase of it, his present conduct will bring up on the side next to him. While, from the movements of almost everything else around him, he learns to associate more or less definitely, an appropriate effect with a given cause, the treatment of his parent seems to form an exception to this general order. Threats and promises, rewards and punishments, instead of following the merits of the case, are either sub- stituted, the one for its opposite, or carried to ex- tremes now in this direction, and now in that, too much as momentary impulse may direct. What- ever may be well done on one occasion, is liable to be weakened or counteracted on another. As almost every movement takes type and coloring 16 FAMILY TRAINING. from the momentary impulse, it follows almost as a matter of certainty, that the child who is subject to these variable influences, will soon learn to act the philosopher, as the only resort for self-protection and defence ; and instead of grow- ing up under the equable and wholesome manage- ment of the parent, become himself a consum- mate manager, under the ever-shifting modes of the parent. So far is he from submitting to in- fluences which should mould him, he, as it were, instinctively, grows into a system of manceuver- ing, by which he controls the influences which should form him. Hence spring up, in early life, the many forms of artifice, of intrigue and of falsehood; which, taking strong root in the character thus early, prevent the subsequent growth of excellence. Such a parent will some- times say, in his or her haste, that her children are worse than other people's. No doubt they are worse than many others ; and, for the plainest of all reasons. The government under which they develop, is such, that they cannot be as promising as others, unless by the intervention of SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 17 some supernatural cause; and they have every prospect of becoming worse than they now are. This the parent often sees, and bitterly grieves over the growing defects of the darling child ; and yet a little reflection would show that his own deficiency in self-government is the prolific source of the evils he deplores. As I have al- ready suggested, his own variable impulses have necessarily created a manager of the child ; and, until he commences the work of self-reform, he must continue to mourn over the certain evi- dence of fickleness and duplicity in his offspring. If you have not already anticipated, you will I trust, coincide with me in the position, that the patience and 'perseverance arising from self-con- trol, are also requisites to the successful training of families. Not a few address themselves to this work with correct opinions; nor are they wanting in purpose ; and yet they accomplish but little for want of perseverance. Many a good work is commenced, and, anon, abandoned ; eith- er because it brings with it too severe a trial for the susceptibilities of the parent, or, it may be, 18 FAMILY TRAINING. success is not experienced so rapidly as desired. When a case of contumacy becomes protracted a little beyond what was anticipated, perhaps the parent yields instead of the child ; or, at least, the retreat on the side of authority is so covered by some substitute in the treatment, as to show a seeming victory, while no submission is felt on the part of the child ; and the scene closes with a show of achievment on the side of authority, but with a conscious triumph with the other par- ty ; a consciousness which matures the purpose for subsequent resistance. In all such trials, pa- tience must have its perfect work in the mind of the parent, or nothing will be perfected in the character of the child. He who would rule his own house well, must first acquire rule over his own spirit. If he fails of control over the ele- ments of his own bosom, he will often fall short of his aim, through lack of perseverance. Some- times the most important work will be left half finished, and the result prove more undesirable, than if nothing had been commenced. The want of self-control will be a constant temptation SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 19 either to press the case unduly for the sake of de- spatch or to substitute some easier process, which will really abridge the needful work, and relieve the parent by releasing the child. I need not say that either of these deviations from the calm, the thorough and persevering course, will result in a loss of the main object, and perhaps in such a loss as will be irreparable. The leading object of the parent's present ef- fort, is not always an immediate result ; but the perfection of that result is more often remote. And hence, I may be allowed to say, that in or- der to secure the successful development of the child, two considerations are of especial impor- tance. The peculiar qualities and characteristics of the child's mental and 'physical constitution should be the subject of constant attention. For, one child differs from another, almost as much as the hard granite differs from the Parian marble ; or as that marble differs from the most unsubstan- tial sandstone. Now while the skilful artist would apply the general principles of sculpture to all alike, he will not have the same model pre- 20 FAMILY TRAINING. cisely to guide him in the design of each, nor would he in each case address himself to his work precisely in the same manner ; hut, with a knowledge of his different materials, he would have before him a model, adapted to each kind ; and he must endeavor to make each piece of work perfect after its kind ; and, with this intention, he will employ the means which in his wisdom are best adapted to secure the end. So the reflecting parent, while he does not even hope to bring all the members of the -family precisely to the same standard, will constantly study the susceptibilities of each child, as embracing a body and a mind ; and then keep as constantly before his own men- tal vision, a model suited to the material upon which he labors ; and every stroke of deliberate effort is aimed more or less directly, with the in- tention to bring out a finished character from the undeveloped elements. As the sculptor, whose scientific eye sees the perfect statue, while yet in the centre of the marble block, and directs the first stroke of his chisel, no less than the last, to bring out and exhibit that perfection; so the SELF-COffTROL, A REQUISITE. 21 clear-sighted parent sees the finished man or wo- man, through the more rude and outer coatings of the child • and that foresight brings from the future some of the most important and powerful motives, to influence his present movements. But when, losing sight of these, he is governed main- ly by the convenience of the passing moment, he will most surely fail of his grand mission, as a parent. For there is a very important sense, in which the parent must keep in view the end from the beginning of his labor upon the child. But he cannot do this, unless he has first learned to keep in some good degree of subjection, the disturbing forces in his own mind. In the loss of self-control, you will also have noticed the certain loss of dignity. And when the requisite dignity of a governor is gone, a prime element of good influence over others is wanting. Dignity is a quality, or, rather, a joint influence of many qualities, for which there can be no substitute. A loss of self-control, is, as it were, a disbanding of those united qualities, whose associated influence make us worthy the 22 FAMILY TRAINING. respect and regard of others. So long as these qualities are combined in harmonious office, they constitute after their measure, a commanding in- fluence, which, within its appropriate sphere, may be irresistible ; when disbanded, or set one against another, as they sometimes are by a sudden im- pulse of anger, or a panic of impatience, no one of them is able to command alone. And while this anarchy of the mental forces is continued, there is within the man, no influence which is adequate to go forth and control abroad. For the time being, there is a positive dethronement of power. For the mind which is distracted in its own movements, cannot be respected by other minds, much less can it command them. After all, the great work of family training is, to teach the young the art, and secure for them the practice, of self government. Very little of substantial value is secured, until some degree of progress is made in this department. When fam>- ily government is solely administered by the force of absolute law, the law-giver must ever be near with a rigorous enforcement of sanctions, TJntii SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 23 he can succeed in writing some salutary and bind- ing laws in the minds and upon the consciences of his children, which will remain there, as a law unto themselves, to control them inwardly, and hold them to some degree of duty in the absence of all external command — until something of this is secured, obedience, however perfect in the let- ter, will have but little reality in the spirit ; and the movements to duty will be, mainly, up-hill work. But in teaching self-government, doubt- less, no lessons are more influential than those of example. While, ,on the other hand, our train- ing with the view to secure self-government in our children, must have a feeble influence, so long as it is seen by them, that we do not govern ourselves. The instinctive retort will come home, with a cutting power, when by their looks and actions they seem to say, " Physician, heal thy- self." If we freely practice what we strenuous- ly endeavor to eradicate in the conduct of our children, we shall be liable to increase the very evil we wish to cure. He who governs by impulse, or caprice, must 24 FAMILY TRAINING. often undo his imprudent acts, by retraction, or suffer their mal-influence to prey upon the wel- fare of his offspring ; and whoever is obliged to retract his movements often, and thus frequently acknowledge, practically, that he has done wrong, cannot long retain the confidence of those who are to suffer from his imprudence. I have extended this number to a much great- er length than I intended, and hope I may re- ceive pardon for the trespass, in consideration of the importance attached to the subject. Where the social head of a family have little rule over their own spirits, the dependent members, how- ever interesting in other respects, will be much like a city that is broken down and without walls ; while such as can and do sway an even and safe rule over themselves, are, so far, qualified to do a greater work on the rising generation, than the captor of the strongest castle. THE SOCIAL HEAD. 25 III. FATHER AND MOTHER CONSTITUTE THE SOCIAL HEAD OF THE FAMILY. It seems appropriate, that a few words should be said, before proceeding with other topics, as to the proper sources of discipline and instruction in a course of family training. We sometimes hear it said of a family, that the father has all the government of the. children j and of another, that the mother is almost the sole manager and in- structress of those who also look to her for fa- vors. Some, who speculate on these subjects, think the father ought to rough-hew the charac- ter, as it were, and leave the rest to his fair con- sort. In many books, a mother's influence is of- ten alluded to, in connection with high attain- ments in subsequent life, in such a manner, that the reader might infer, that a great and good man could be easily made, almost without any father, provided his early years were blest with a good 3 26 FAMILY TRAINING. mother. Not a few would point out what they suppose the middle and safer way ; that is, to let father manage the boys, and mother the girls. Now I apprehend, that none of these views are in the highest degree practical. The truth is, it takes both father and mother to make one head of a family. And the question, as to which must do the most, is not a practical one. Each must do what the Creator has assigned to each, and this is just what the other cannot do, except imperfectly. To me nothing seems clearer than this position \ and some of the reasons for it are obvious. The father and mother, for instance, are con- stituted the social head. This relation is funda- mental in the family institution. In this united capacity, they are God's appointed officers, to preside over, to rule and guide the household. And under this appointment, neither one, can safely, nor lawfully, transfer the whole or even a part of the labor, or responsibility, to the other. It is doubtless true, in many instances, that one of the parents may be better qualified, both by THE SOCIAL HEAD. 27 nature and education, to perform his or her part of family training. But this superior qualification does not fit the one to perform, as perfectly, the duties assigned to the other. I shall readily con- cede that superior fitness, on one side, may he some compensation for deficiency on the other. But every child needs the whole of a father, and the whole of a mother. And the father must be a real man, and the mother a real woman ; — mas- culine and feminine, not merely in their physical structure, but truly such in their intellectual, so- cial and moral endowments. A masculine wo- man, however well she may be qualified to sua- i;ain offices of state, can never discharge to per- fection the duties of a mother at home ; and a feminine man, however excellent in other re? spects, will make but an indifferent father, while endeavoring to exert the influence which GrO(J. fcas assigned to that office. While the Creator has made the two and kindly united them, as in* separable parts of a unit, in their relation to the family, he has not made them interchangeable. Indeed the specific influence which each should 28 FAMILY TRAINING. exert on the family, is hardly less distinct than are the sexes themselves, and hence the absence of either side, is a loss to the family, for which there can be no perfect substitute by the other* "And these are no more twain, but one flesh," saith our Lord ; and this unity has, perhaps, a more important reference to the children, than to anything else to which it can relate. But how greatly is this divinely constituted unity pervert- ed, when the parents essentially disagree as to the principles of governing, and the modes of train- ing the family ; especially when the contradicto- ry peculiarities of each are carried into practice towards the children. We are not to anticipate that the individuals of the social head will never differ on specific points of action. Human im- perfection does not allow us to look for this, without more or less of exceptions. Bat in all well regulated families, this difference will be discussed in private, until the parties are, at least, qualified to act in concert ; and the two systems will not be allowed to clash in their operation on the same subject. I am sure I shall not offend, THE SOCIAL HEAD. 29 when I say, it is only among the lowest forms of family government, that one of the parents sides openly with the child, and directly interferes with a process of discipline commenced by the other. It is readily conceded by all who think on this subject, that every son needs especially the in- fluence of a mother; and no assertion perhaps contains more practical truth. And so does every daughter need the influence of a father as really, if not equally. It was once replied by a shrewd and intelligent young woman, that no lady wish- ed to find in a gentleman the peculiar character- istics of her own sex j and this I suppose is the spontaneous feeling which the Creator has plant- ed in the heart of every true woman ; and for the wisest of reasons. So that every female mind needs a masculine influence to aid in forming it, as truly as it relishes the society after the charac- ter is formed. The veriest nun may, no doubt, be trained to a strict sense and practice of justice, as also to the kind and benevolent feelings. Bat to affirm that a complete woman can be formed in this 30 MMILY TRAINING. way, where every influence but that of female has been entirely excluded, implies a practical paradox. And it is equally safe to assert, that no monk, merely as such, ever arrived any nearer the standard of a real man. Where the child is edu* cated, either wholly or mainly, by its own sex, it will be prone to the extreme tendency on its own side. The girl is liable to become sensitive and fastidious to a fault, in that very direction in which a proper degree forms the peculiar excel- lence and charm of her sex. The boy, when surrendered wholly, or mainly, to the moulding influence of men, becomes, almost as a matter of course, too masculine, when the sterner and more rugged elements of character overgrow and crush the finer and more delicate sensibilities, which should ever be present in full proportion, to blend with, to enliven and grace the more sturdy ele- ments of manly bearing. Nor are these the only dangers which arise from a one-sided influence in training. For as in nature, so in education, one extreme is ever liable to be followed by the other. A boy whose nature has been tortured THE SOCIAL HEAD. 31 into a semi-barbarism by a one-sided education, if that nature has enough of elasticity left to spring back towards its natural position, as action and reaction are equal, will have a strong liability to fly to the opposite extreme, and while, forever destitute of the nice sensibilities of a well-bal- anced training, may have a passionate fondness for the other sex, which so far from elevating and refining, may speedily plunge him into the vortex of the direst dissipation. And a girl who be- comes girlish in the extreme by a disproportionate female influence, if she ever breaks away from the shackles which will spoil her unless broken, will be more like to become a " gal boy," as our grandmothers used to call it ; in which case, the loss will be still greater than if she remained a very prude. Hence, in order to educate one child into a true woman, and another into a real man, such as In- finite Wisdom designed, and for which he has laid a foundation in our natures, each character requires to be constantly wrought upon, by an influence from the opposite sex; that is, father 32 FAMILY TRAINING. and mother must both labor to mould the boys, and both also to give proper shape to the charac- ter of the girls. This cross-influence , constantly- exerted in due proportions of the proper quality, will prevent divergence, and cause the two lines of character to run parallel, each in its own sphere j and each fulfil the circle marked by Heaven. Whether either branch of the family govern- ment should have the decisive authority in ex- treme cases, and where a harmony of views does not exist, I leave for each social organization to determine for themselves; since, in this day of many words on the subject of various rights, it hardly becomes an obscure writer to publish an opinion even to his friends. This, however, you may readily concede, that the masculine qualities of the father qualify him to manage the more difficult cases of the sons, especially of those in advanced years. While every son and daughter ought to be so disciplined and instructed, in in- fancy, and childhood, that occasions requiring transfer from the feminine to the masculine branch, will be rare. THE SOCIAL HEAD. 33 Every father should most studiously avoid ev- ery movement which will have the least tendency to weaken the authority or diminish the influence of the mother. Whenever an exigency requires a transfer of agency, the work should be perform- ed in behalf of the mother. Obedience and res- toration should be secured for her, so that the en- tire result, so far as possible, shall be the same as though the entire case had been adjusted by her alone. Anything less than this, will rapidly di- minish maternal authority, and reduce the best of mothers to the servile subjection of domineering children. In closing this number, I was upon the point of saying, that the influence of father and mother should be as perfectly interwoven upon the child as the warp and woof of the best proportioned fabric. But this in one respect is too coarse a figure ; that is, it leaves the separate portions of influence too far apart, and too isolated, each from the other. The joint influence should rather be compared to the most perfect mixture of the ma- terials, where each is separately dyed in the wool ; 34 FAMILY TRAINING. and then so intermingled, as to result in a com- plexion perfectly distinct from either, through a compound of both. This evidently is the Crea- tor's plan ; and those who carry out the plan most nearly to perfection, will doubtless be blest with the highest degree of success. IV. FAMILY TRAINING INCLUDES DISCIPLINE AND IN- STRUCTION. Solomon says, — " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not de- part from it." In the first clause of the verse we have a specific direction for practice. The latter clause implies, that faithful and persevering effort shall not go unrewarded. While the hearts of our children are in the hands of the Lord, we feel that good results will as surely flow from faithful efforts, as that any effect will flow from its appropriate cause. The experience of ages has tested the soundness of this position. Fami- \ DISCIPLINE AND INSTRUCTION. 35 ly training involves two distinct considerations — discipline and instruction. And though distinct, they are most intimately related. No child can proceed far in the journey of life with profit, un- less assisted from both these departments of cul- ture. Nor can either of them do much for him, without the assistance of the other. You will allow me to call them the two guardian helpers of the child, in a difficult course toward an hon- orable and useful manhood. The Father of Mer- cies has given these twin auxiliaries a home in the bosom of every discreet parent ; thence to go forth to their work on the rising character, at the bidding of chastened affection and a conscien- tious sense of duty. Through the natural solici- tude and rational love of the parent, these two departments of training were designed to act up- on the child's welfare ; and, lest they should fail wholly, or in part, even when aided by these fa- cilities, he has added the clear instructions of his own Inspired Word. The instructions of the Bible are the most full and clear on those very points, where human weakness would be the 36 FAMILY TRAINING. most liable to err. The Divine Author well knew that our natural affection, under the influ- ence of imperfect natures, would need line upon line, touching specific duty, to prevent our re- lapse into an irrational fondness, whose perverted action would defeat the very object it was inten- ded to secure. Natural affection must be strong and tireless, in order to undertake and carry out successfully the momentous interests of the child, and this very essential strength will sometimes cause it to fail in securing the object, if sober reason and Revelation are not often called in as counsellors. I say this very intensity, under the guidance of false principles, will defeat its own aims. The parent may, and often does, love his child to destruction, both temporal and eternal. Hence, all judicious training involves both disci- pline and instruction. But in treating these spe- cific topics, you will not require that I should al- ways keep them distinct. It will be more natu- ral, and often more convenient, to intermingle the two, as they stand in practical life. There they must go hand in hand, one preparing the way for DISCIPLINE AND INSTRUCTION. 37 the other, and also working with it, to render the whole substantial. Discipline, when not attended by wholesome instruction, is often like "vinegar upon nitre." It excites a strong effervescence of passion, which, being under no guiding, controlling influence, is not directed to secure any valuable end. The discipline makes no advance upon the character ; and often leaves the last state of the child worse than the first. Discipline, without kind and wholesome instruction, is too often the offspring of rashness ; and when it is so, becomes in turn the prolific source of disaffection and obstinacy. And if you set instruction alone to guide and form the expanding nature, you will fail almost as surely as you undertake. For in this case, in- struction as tutor, will often be so far in advance of the pupil as not to be a guide. The intellect may be kept full of the most wholesome pre- cepts, and yet be almost as constantly leaking out, as it were, through the loose propensities and un- trained habits. Unless healthful discipline be always v. tin call, and ready to minister salutary 38 FAMILY TRAINING. aid, when needed, much good instruction will go for nothing. According to the suggestion of good Robert Cecil, — Our children will make up their minds to follow our instructions; but unless we strengthen and guard these good resolutions with persevering care, their bodies, uiider the influence of the appetites and passions which dwell in them, will be ever neutralizing the best inclina- tions and the strongest purposes. V. WORDS RESPECTING THE SUBJECT OF THIS TRAINING. The subject of this training is your child. The first recognition it made of you, as father and mother, was a moment of inexpressible interest. This recognition implies that you are to perform the most decided and important part in giving direction to its impulses; — in cutting deep the channels for its joy or sorrow. You, with a bless- ing on your fidelity, or a frown on your neglect, are to determine, more than any other created WORDS RESPECTING THIS TRAINING. 39 being, whether he shall be useful or worthless. Whether he shall make his father glad, or bring his mother to shame, will, to a great extent, de- pend on the manner you discharge parental duty. You have doubtless regarded any action in rela- tion to such interests as serious business, while neglect of action, you may be sure, is the worst kind of agency. How important that your earliest movements be the product of sound wisdom. Your child commences being in great feeble- ness. It has the merest germ of a mind in a very delicate body ; and God has given it an in- stinct which calls on you to supply its deficien- cies. Those puny hands are almost useless, ex- cept when extended to you for assistance. Its tottering steps seek support just where the Crea- tor has lodged the requisite care and ability. To find it hands and feet and muscles, while its own are in embryo, are the parent's duty in this de- partment. Air and nourishment and rest and ex- ercise, in such proportions and degree as will de- velop this germ according to the Maker's plan, are also yours to superintend. The successful 40 FAMILY TRAINING. exercise of a physical nature which is to be the temporary home of a human soul, affords large scope for the exercise of enlightened common sense. God indeed has laid the foundation, and is himself the master-workman ; and yet he has in no small degree, left the care of developement to his human auxiliaries. As such, it deeply be- comes parents so to consider their employment as not to mar his handiwork. It is also to be considered that your child has entered upon his career in great ignorance. This ignorance has reference not only to his own con- dition and character, it has almost equal reference to every other subject of knowledge. His em- bryo faculties, which at first seem less perfect than what the brute possesses, lie, as it were, coiled up within a very small compass ; and yet are susceptible of an infinite expansion. Within this undeveloped coil is a heart, or moral nature^ with affections and a will, whose exercise and decisions are to fix his true glory or shame, — his joy or sorrow, through everlasting ages. Again, you cannot safely overlook the fact, WORDS RESPECTING THIS TRAINING. 41 that your child is to develop in a world full of evil example. You do not claim perfection for yourself. Some of your own acts you would like to veil, though you cannot. And yet your personal influence upon the child is but a fraction of the whole which is to press upon his plastic mind. If your actions, therefore, were only good, your influence would be constantly weak- ened by counter-influences. The community in which you live, though it affords not a few models of excellence, abounds with noxious examples; and your children can hardly be anywhere, and not come in contact with some of them. Were they sent to your care as pure as the first man, when the Creator pronounced him very good, they would not go far in life, before the forbidden fruit would be held out to them by human hands ; and human tongues would suggest many specious reasons for compliance. But, in addi- tion to the many seductive influences from with- out, your children enter the world with A NATIVE BIAS FOR EVIL. To most of you, at least, this truth has long 3 42 FAMILY TRAINING. been an established article of belief. If any who may read this article have doubted on this point, it were, perhaps, a fruitless task to undertake a removal of these doubts, since all have an open Bible whose instructions on this point are as clear as they need be, if the Inspired Word were writ- ten expressly to announce this fact. As a confir- mation of revealed truth, your own eyes and ears have been open to see and hear for your- selves j and if you are old enough to be a parent, you must have learned that your children are naturally inclined to go astray. Whatever may be said about this, either in the Scriptures or out of them, with you this truth has become a palpa- ble matter of fact ; if your children are little an- gels, as many are pleased to call them, you know they must be fallen angels. Children are prone to evil ; and this, too, despite of constant precept and example to the contrary. If one were pass- ing through some extended valley, traversed by some noble river, whose current should be ob- structed every few miles by an embankment, and yet the water leaping over it j — the dam always WORDS RESPECTING THIS TRAINING. 43 constructed to prevent the flow of the stream in a certain direction, and the water always rushing over in that direction, surely he would not ask which way the river run. Nor need any one be in any more doubt, as to the native tendency of human inclination. Indeed, all men practical- ly agree in this position. The whole structure of society is planned with reference to this truth ; and it is rarely, if ever denied, unless denial is jequisite to support some favorite theory which practice will always refute. Your child, therefore, ?not only commences being with everything to learn, but in the process of learning, both from books and example, many things of an evil ten- dency will be pressed upon his attention. And these multiform inducements appeal to a heart naturally inclined the wrong way. Endowed with these capacities and possessing these tenden- cies, the child is committed, by the eternal pur^ pose of his Maker and your Maker, for guardian* ship and training. To facilitate such a work, you have given you, natural affection, reason, a jtnoral nature, and, above all, a divine revelation^ 44 FAMILY TRAINING. to which you may at all times repair for aid. With these helps constantly at command, and other things heing equal, you are the best qualifi- ed for this work. If you can find others whom you deem more competent to finish it, you must commence it yourself ; and the manner in which you lay the foundation will essentially determine the character of the superstructure. If you build in, at this period, as it were, hay, wood, and stubble, you will not be surprised to find the structure comparatively worthless. If, as first, you embed the changeless principles of the Bible as adapted to human wants and human weal, you may cherish strong hopes that your offspring will honor you and his Maker with usefulness here, and be fitted hereafter to shine as the bright- ness of the firmament, and as the stars forever and ever. A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 45 VI. THE DIVINE GOVERNMENT AS A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. As I have undertaken to address hints to the governors of a small social compact, they may naturally anticipate some views, as to the particu- lar form of government they are to exercise. Shall the fireside community constitute a democ- racy, a republic, or a monarchy ? I would say, neither of these exactly, nor all of them com- pounded. It should be a Christian patriarchal government, so far modified by the matriarchal, that, as I have said, the father and mother shall form the social head. And they united in one, should study to imitate, so far as practicable, the government of God. True it is, that none by searching can find out the Almighty to perfection ; and yet some very important parts of his ways are very evi- dent, even to the ordinary student of the Bible ; and I apprehend that the Scriptures clearly set 46 FAMILY TRAINING. forth the general principles on which God gov- erns his creatures. Many of these principles are illustrated with more or less of distinctness in the life of almost every one, before he is old enough to be a parent ; and many of these ways of God to man are so plain, that common reflection will readily digest their import. To the writer, noth- ing has afforded greater pleasure, in his duties as a family governor, than the study of the divine government as a model for his own imitation. As I have introduced this subject with a firm persuasion of its great practical use, I shall be al- lowed to give some reasons for my suggestions. I would have the parent occupy, not the place of God, but the place which the Creator has as- signed him, both in his relations to the child, and to Himself, their common Father. I presume we shall not disagree, that, in a very important sense, the parent is God's vice-gerent to the child ; and a vice-gerent is certainly one who is appointed to carry out the administration of the supreme ruler, in some particular department of the government. In some sense, every parent is an appointed offi- A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 47 cer in the divine government j and, as such, he is solemnly bound by the conditions of his paren- tal relation, to administer, on the divine plan, so far as he knows it, and so far as his ability will allow. And he is also under obligation to qualify himself with a knowledge of this plan, before he assumes the office. You will see additional rea- sons for this position, when you duly consider, that the superintendence of the parent over the child, is over the same mind and the same body that God governs ; and as the divine Lawgiver is also the Creator of the subject of that law, we cannot doubt, that the kind and the mode of the divine administration, are the most perfectly adapt- ed to the wants and welfare of the being who is the subject of it. So far then, as we can under- stand the divine mode, in its application to men in this life, and so far as our ability will allow, we are the most safe, and may hope to meet with the greatest success in adopting that mode as our model. The reason for adopting this as a model, so far as it is applicable, will still further appear from 48 FAMILY TRAINING. the obvious truth, that the leading object of pa- rental training should be the same as that of the Creator. Your leading object in training your children cannot be different from his and be right. So far as you depart from him, in your ulti- mate design, so far will you mar and pervert the workmanship which he has himself commenced, and now partially committed to you, to mould and perfect for his purposes. Since then, in your labors, you are to have constantly in view the same leading object which God has, you will the most successfully prosecute that object, by falling in with his plans and modes, so far you know them. Again, your rightful authority over the child is directly delegated by God. You may say it arises from your indissoluble relation to him, as your offspring ; but this is only another form of saying the same thing. Who is the author of this relation ? The marriage relation is of God's appointment, and the family is his early and dear- ly cherished institution. It is older than the A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 49 state, or the church ; and if your authority does come through natural relations, it proceeds none the less directly from the Divine Giver. The fact also, that God has especially appointed you, in the teachings of his Word, is additional proof that your government over your child, is to resemble his. This appointment he has ratified on your part, by solemnly commanding you to " Train them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord;" and as solemnly on the part of the children, by the repeated injunctions to honor their parents, and pbey them in all things. When he commands them to obey them in all things, it is done on the supposition that you direct them according to the divine precepts. You are to fol- low the revealed plan in giving directions, and they are bound to follow the same plan in com- plying with your requests. One other important consideration is this. So far as God has given specific directions for family government, they are in perfect accordance with his own mode of governing the same subjects. And this is what every reflecting mind would anticipate. For it 50 FAMILY TRAINING. would be a wonderful digression, not to say an impeachment of Divine Wisdom, if God should govern his intelligent and moral creatures, by one class of principles, and place another and opposite set in the hands of his vice-gerent, to administer to the same subjects ; and this too, when the pa- rents are to prosecute and to aim at the same re- sults as the great King himself. You will not, I am sure, charge him with such a mistake ; and, therefore, while his specific di- rections are infinitely better than any you can substitute from your own wisdom, for the same end, you may also adopt with the best results, such courses as may be fairly inferred from God's general dealings with his creatures. His dealings are freely developed in sacred history, especially during the Jewish Theocracy. You will also find many important facts clearly developed in civil history, both as they respect nations and in- dividuals, though drawn perhaps with less dis- tinctness than those revealed in Holy Writ. You have also the current developments of providence, as they came forth under the direc- A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 51 tion of the Great Ruler. In studying the gov- ernment of God, in the Theocracy of the Jews, we are to consider the points of difference be- tween that community and our own; and this difference, does, doubtless, allow of specific mod- ifications. It may not be dictation to suggest, that God, if standing directly at the head of this state as he did in the Hebrew Commonwealth, would vary his specific modes of governing us. But the specific modifications, would not alter the general principles j hence, while the ancient forms have passed away, the principles remain to us in their full value. I see but one difficulty in studying the divine model of government, as developed in civil history, and in daily provi- dence. It may often be difficult to give the right interpretation to God's providences, both as re- vealed in history, and as they appear in passing events. In consequence of this difficulty, there would be danger of drawing general conclusions too hastily, and, of course, incorrectly. And yet Providence as developed by History and Biography, and as constantly passing before 52 FAMILY TRAINING. us, are all volumes of the same book, as really designed by their Author for the study of the human family, as is the Inspired Word ; especially for those members, who are to shape the mind and character of others. VII. FEATURES IN THE DIVINE GOVERNMENT, WHICH ARE APPLICABLE TO FAMILY TRAINING. In the government of God, every creature and everything is placed under law. In accordance with this feature, the movement of the heavenly bodies constitutes the "music of the spheres." The growth and decay of animal and vegetable organizations, are alike under the control of law. And there is still clearer evidence that the human intellect and heart have not been overlooked in this general plan. Law is alike the parent and guardian of order. The great Author of perfec- tion in order, has extended law, in some form, over the minutest particles of matter. And the FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 53 universal prevalence of this fact, under the direc- tion of the Supreme Ruler, is a significant index to all his human deputies in authority, whether raised aloft as the rulers of nations, or stationed at home as the guides of households. I do not sympathize in those views which regard law, in families, as not congenial to its highest welfare, but on the whole as rather a disturbing force. These views cannot be correct. For, if the Supreme cannot proceed as well without law as with it, finite and changeable man certainly can- not. To an imperfect ruler in any sphere, system is essential to prevent jarring irregularities, and secure a constancy in his own movements. The wisest and most prudent must adhere to general and established rules of action, to prevent often falling into the most hurtful inconsistencies. In- deed wisdom and prudence necessarily involve the idea of system and plan. But society also abounds in proof that a family which has no rule over it, " is like a city that is broken down and without walls." The question of pursuing rule, or next to no rule, is by no means the most diffi- 54 FAMILY TRAINING. cult one for the parent to settle. But how mi- nute and how complicated may a good system be, under a given class of circumstances ? How much of this in detail, may be published to the household, and how much should be strictly re- served as the personal property of the parent? How far should the general principle which is to run through all without change, so as to sustain all our movements, in harmony, be evolved and spread out in specific items ? Too much harness encumbers the steed and reduces the power of his muscles. Too little does not sufficiently connect him with the weight to be put in motion. In either case, there is a loss of efficiency, either wholly or in part. In like manner, many parents are prone to be on the extreme right or the extreme left ; either to load the child down with specifications, when the elastic spirit becomes confused and restive under its burdens ; or to throw loose reins upon the neck of volatile habits, and unformed principles, and leave direction to almost any and every im- pulse which may act upon the character. With FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 55 these dangers in the path of duty, the discretion of every parent will grow wiser by a careful study of God's government, in these same partic- ulars. If you examine the divine proceeding, you will find that his published laws are few, and general. He does not with his own ringer en- grave upon tables of stone every minute form and every specific application, and hang them up where every one who runs must read, whether he will or not. And yet he does ever give the general law, embracing the general principle that will apply to every particular belonging to the class. And this general law is so framed that the accountable subject can always ascertain the particular appli- cation, whenever he studies it with a proper de- sire to know. While the spirit of the general law extends much farther than, at first thought it appears to, yet so natural is the relation of the specific case to the general rule, that the moral agent who searches with a mind willing to obey, will in most cases readily trace the specific to the 56 FAMILY TRAINING. general ; and under it, find the specific action or feeling enjoined or prohibited. The ten com- mandments afford the most perfect illustration of this plan in the government of God. They oc- cupy only a part of a single page of the Bible ; and yet they contain in summary, the whole duty of man. Now he who would conform his heart and life to the letter of the law, must study out the relations of his conduct to the law, by the various means which God has given him. While this necessity in parental government affords a wide scope for the study, the reflection, and moral decision of the child, thus placing along the path of his duty, the best source of moral and natural discipline, it enables the law- giver to take the negligent and careless violater at unawares, and so learn him to fear, or cause him unexpectedly to suffer what he was too negligent to foresee, and provide for; that he may grow wise by what he suffers, and dutiful by shunning the hard path of transgressors, and happy by re- vering the laws which are over him. And this plan, which is so instructive and cor- FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 57 rective to the wayward, is the most interesting and gratifying to all the true lovers of obedience. To all such, every specific development opens in the direct line of their duty and their pleasure ; so that, as soon as they see what it is, they are conscious that it is just what they would have it. Each specific requisition, which they discover in the path of duty, becomes an additional guide for future practice. So where the heedless trans- gressor in the family, stumbles and falls over the less prominent barriers of law, where he rises and frets at mysteries and seeming contradictions in the rule which is over him, and all this only to be bruised and chafed again, by his next heed- less step, the filial and patient student of the same government finds in the new cases of spe- cific application, neither "pit falls" nor "sloughs of despond." He meets them as so many sweet fountains, by which his spirit is refreshed ; and the eyes of his understanding are enlightened to dis- cover new beauties and greater excellence in the path of obedience. Let us now apply this theology of the Bible 5 58 FAMILY TRAINING. more directly to the practice of the nursery and play-ground, in the routine of daily life ; and I must say that no part of my labor in the training of children, has afforded more pleasure, or more profit, than this study and this practice. We see in this marked feature of the divine plan, that we should also make the household rules which we publish for our children, general, rather than particular ; comprehensive, rather than specific. So far as the circumstances will allow, we must reserve the minute detail for them to study out. Indeed, this study is God's own pro- vision for the exercise of their moral powers and for the perfection of their common sense. While this course creates a distinct barrier, far this side of gross disobedience, it leaves the ordi- nary field of duty more open to the exercise of free and accountable agency, and calls, on the part of the child, for the constant exercise of common sense. It would be impossible to have specific rules for every act, even were it desirable, since nothing short of absolute foreknowledge would be adequate to this provision. And if the FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE, 59 requisite knowledge were in the parent's possess- ion, its use in the manufacture of specific rules would be as undesirable as it is now impossible. The Creator has a foreknowledge which is abso- lute and perfect ; and yet the moral law which he has given, is summarily contained in compara- tively a few words. But the duties which these enjoin, are enough to occupy every moment of the longest life. No family government can serve its fullest use, when made so specific and individual, as to su- percede the study of principles and the exercise of a practical judgment, on the part of the child. The object of all family government should be ? to train the child in such a manner, that subset quently he will be able and disposed, to govern himself, according to the few great principles of the moral law ; and this object can never be ser cured unless the child is put upon a judicious, and yet, with certain limits, a free scope for the exercise of his own judgment. This process of self-training is to be under the careful supervision of the parent or teacher, who shall always be 60 FAMILY TRAINING. ready to correct the erroneous conclusion, — al- ways ready to make straight the crooked path, and always patient in allowing, and even requir- ing the child to "try again," and " try again," until he has learned the true relation between the specific action and the general principle which involves it. Some readers of this sentiment may express surprise, that a child should be considered capable of referring specific conduct to general principles. But no reader who has carefully studied the phi- losophy of the human mind, or the developments of human practice as presented in a child, will experience this surprise. For all such know, that classification in some form, is one of the earliest exercises of the budding intellect. And though this exercise is commenced among materi- al objects, it is soon carried into the province of intellect and emotion. These embryo philoso- phers and moralists, are not skilled in the forms and technicalities of literature and science; but intentions and reasonings they have, which are far more comprehensive than many suppose, and FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 61 conclusions they have too, which "hit the nail" more fairly than some others who have gone farther up into life. And the only way to edu- cate and strengthen this embryo power of refer- ring facts and feelings to general principles, is to give it constant exercise. This, as every other faculty, is to be ripened and perfected by having a full measure of its proper work to do; and every parent can furnish his children with an abundance of this work, and that too, which is of the most practical character, if he makes his household commandments few in number, gener- al and comprehensive ; and then trains his children to ascertain their specific duties from these few commands, by study, by observation, and experi- ence. I see most clearly, that this is the divine plan ; and the results of it when fairly tried and fully proved, are of a character the most salutary and gratifying. This course, judiciously, and perseveringly carried out, not only secures the best element in family training, but secures many other excellences for future use and advantage. Other things being equal, it does more to make a 62 FAMILY TRAINING. whole man and a whole woman for posterity, than any other element of family training. And I believe that one reason why the ability to trace specific cases to general laws, appears, often less perfect in the young man, than in the child, is, that this faculty which God had given for a most important purpose, is not sufficiently brought into early exercise, and therefore, instead of growing, pines away in its strength, and loses power of discrimination. If the parent deals wholly or mainly, in specific items, whether of things required or prohibited, the child will have his best privilege taken away. He will not learn to trace the relation of parts to the whole, as almost every child is capable of doing. Through lack of proper stimulus, he will neglect to grow inwardly j and depending on the direction of others for individual acts, he becomes little more than a living machine, which certainly will not always work well, as it cannot always be looked after. But a worse result from this mode is, that it offers the child a constant temp- tation to evade the spirit of the command, while FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 63 he seems to retain the letter. As a specific act only is forbidden, it is easy to find other things sufficiently like, which violate the spirit of re- quirement, and yet, at the same time keep the letter. To illustrate : — -a mother tells her boy not to go to the river, and, in order to have his own way, and mind his mother too, he goes to the brook, where he is equally exposed. Going to the brook is the next thing forbidden; and some frog-pond is soon found to answer all the purposes ; and so the reservoir and the pump must pass one by one under interdict, until the child has really disobeyed as many times as there are places and forms of water within his reach, and at last, justifies himself in each successive act. Every family and every school are more or less full of incidents illustrating the principle. In all these instances, a general direction can be easily given, which will cover all the cases; and the child who is required to refer them, each to its proper class, will have a most salutary exercise, both for his intellect and heart. It is on this principle, that the moral law says, " Thou shalt 64 FAMILY TRAINING. not kill ;" and Christ tells us, that hatred is mur- der. The law says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery;" and from it, we are to understand that the lustful look is a violation. One command covers a broad field of duty. So God governs ; and it is evidently his will, that in this respect, parents should follow his example. VIII. MORE FEATURES IN THE DIVINE GOVERNMENT ILLUSTRATED. While the Creator has placed His subjects un- der laws which are general in their announcement, he requires strict obedience in the particulars. And this truth should be emphatic instruction to every parent who intends to train his family in the way they should go. No advance is made in fam- ily government, where implicit obedience is not secured in the smaller items. Again, it cannot have escaped the notice of the reflecting parent, that God often tests the obedience MORE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 65 of his subjects by circumstances seemingly small. We have a striking illustration of this, in the in- junction laid upon our first parents. It was sim- ply prohibition from the fruit of one tree. And this was enough ; since adherence to this, involved the entire principle of obedience. If they could keep this seemingly little commandment, they could more easily keep what they would regard of greater importance. And so it is with children under the government of their natural parents. The most valuable tests of filial obedience consist in little things. r Acts of disobedience which are very obviously serious in their immediate conse- quences, carry, on their very face, some degree of security against commission. An act which will surely draw after it self-mortification, and proba- bly disgrace, will be shunned, not from the pure strength of virtuous principle, but from considera- tions of a policy wholly selfish and grovelljng.. But in little things, as they are called, it is differ- ent. Here the consequences appear so trivial, and the comparative wrong so light, that the child will proceed with the impression, that the act will not 66 FAMILY TRAINING. be noticed. Hence, there is no certainty that the principle of obedience is established in any mind, until compliance is implicitly rendered in little things. When it is fairly secured here, it is sub- stantially gained for the whole field. Little things in a family, make up by far the greater sum of importance, and, therefore, it is of the first mo- ment that wholesome rule be not only extended to these ; it should commence and be especially thorough here. We notice again, that the sanctions of law in the government of God, are rewards and punish- ments. Not rewards merely, — not punishment alone, but rewards and punishments; and both these in a great variety of forms. And I do not hes- itate to say, that no family government can have much respect, or exhibit much efficiency for any length of time, without these. They should, of course, be in forms and degrees varying as widely as the circumstances which call for them. We know, indeed, that the Creator has made these, to a great extent, inseparably connected with obedi- ence and disobedience. So that the conduct, as a MORE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 67 cause, will draw after it legitimate results ; and this marked feature in his great plan is a clear in- dex of the manner in which we, as parents, should proceed in the detail. Jehovah has declared, that in His government " The way of transgressors is hard ;" and both His wisdom and justice stand pledged to make it so. Also, "Say ye to the righteous, it shall be well with them ; for they shall eat the fruit of their doings." This grand principle running through the divine government should be copied by every parent, so far as his knowledge and ability will allow. And as the Creator has laid a foundation in human nature for the prosecution of this plan, the judicious father or mother may naturally and easily fall into it. But the adoption of a different system will, ordi- narily, be attended with difficulty and peril, both to the success of the parent and the welfare of the child. I am safe in saying, we can neither mend the divine mode nor improve upon it ; while in departing from it, we may wear ourselves out with trial, and, as the fruit of our toils, secure the perdition of our children. The watchful parent, 68 FAMILY TRAINING. who has the skill arising from an ordinary amount of intelligence and common sense, may readily instruct the child to see and feel the connection between disobedience and a want of happiness. By patient instruction and a careful observation of the child's experience, he may so educate the conscience, that falsehood will be its own worst punishment ; and every form of disobedience may be more or less armed with an adaptation to self- infliction. Even where the moral sensibilities are so callous, that the parent must directly inter- pose with some form of punishment, to make the connection between disobedience and suffering more strongly felt, a link so essential in so impor- tant a chain of cause and consequence should not be withheld by father and mother. And ordina- rily, if this link of parental discipline is supplied seasonably and discreetly, the child may be led to feel that this agency of his parent, is by God's direction ; and that all he experiences, he receives as coming from God. When the parent can so stand in the line of God's direction, that his per- sonal discipline shall be regarded as only a part MORE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 69 of the Heavenly Father's, then does that parent reveal the hiding of his power. Then does the child feel that he stands awfully near the great source of all authority. It is hy thus striking with the plan of Jehovah, and by proceeding ac- cording to the instructions of his Word, that our government becomes almost divine, in its influ- ence on the child. Let not punishment seem too harsh a term to stand in contrast, on this subject ; for God Himself has fixed the relation, and it does not become us to modify it. The special attention of the child should be early called to the unalterable connection between obedience and happiness. And where this rela- tion does not seem so clear to the youthful mind, the parent should make it more palpable by some judicious means of gratification from his own provision, accompanied with such instructions as may lead the pupil ultimately to feel, that doing right is its own reward. Every form of encour- agement to right doing should be directed to this result: — a result for which conscience and the Bible lay a broad foundation. 70 FAMILY TRAINING. The sanctions of family government should not be so stereotyped in their dispensation, that the subject of them can distinctly foresee the precise time and the exact mode of them. This would be departing from God's plan, who has not made known to us the set times and the exact modes of his visitation. The general announcement shows that the connection between disobedience and misery is certain, while the detail of minis* tration is reserved in the treasury of Infinite Wis- dom, to be developed by Providence as that wis- dom shall direct. And what better can the pa- rent do in the use of rewards and punishments, than to follow the divine example? For then the coming consequence in some form will be so certain as to allow no hope of failure ; and yet not so definite, either as to time or mode, as to su- persede caution and watchfulness on the part of the offender. If there be such a sameness in the parent's treatment of wrong doing, that the child may always know the precise form and time of the adjustment, this knowledge, instead of restrain- ing, will most certainly harden ; and, instead of MOKE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 71 caution to avoid the fault, will inspire hardiness to brave the consequences. But the opposite course is too indefinite to allow the youthful spir- it to arrange a preconcerted resistance, and yet too certain as a final result, to allow any feeling of safety while the fault remains unconfessed and unforgiven. A frequent issue of this treatment will be a frequent voluntary disclosure of wrong, and sincere acknowledgements on the part of the child, even before the parent is aware of the de- linquency. In this way, often, the misconduct will so grate upon the sensibilities, that the suf- ferer will find no relief, and seek for none, except in a frank disclosure, and a free forgiveness. And the happiness which he feels in having been the voluntary agent in his restoration to parental favor, will be the highest security against the commis- sion of similar offences in future. Do not meas- ure your discipline mathematically, nor publish it beforehand with such minuteness that your chil- dren can count the periods from the Almanac ; lest, if you do not destroy all moral sense, you do at least transform a nicely susceptible nature to a 72 FAMILY TRAINING. living machine, which will work little good ex- cept as coerced by another.. And, in the use of rewards, do not make the bestowment until duty, heartily performed, has rendered it safe and con- sistent. Do not rule the little fellow with a roll of candy, putting this sceptre into his hands as a magic wand to help him through with your com- mandment. Learn him heartily to trust your good, though sovereign pleasure, even after his filial conduct has fully traced the line of duty j and then be sure you so meet his expectations, as not to flatter his vanity, but strengthen his virtues. IX. PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. He who would advance rapidly in the business of Family Training, must "make haste slowly." The work requires more than the few moments of time, afforded at the intervals of secular em- ployment. As we often say in regard to other PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 73 things, whole, or unbroken time, must not be considered too precious for this duty ; and I may- add, we should ever be ready to devote any amount of time which the circumstances of the case require. In a previous number, I endeavored to show that a family could not be properly conducted, under the impulses of passion; and I now affirm as strongly, that it cannot be done by odd moments. The actual failures which occur in this work, through haste, are both many and sad. Many commence too hastily, and spend themselves be- fore the work is fairly begun. Others commence with moderation, and leave off quite too soon, because portions of the duty are found to be un- pleasant. You need often give yourself time to consid- er; for while the leading characteristics of the child may not essentially vary hi successive peri- ods, yet the time, the place and the circumstances of the conduct are ever varying ; and this fact is worthy your constant attention. The child's physical condition, of strength or weakness, of 6 74 FAMILY TRAINING. nervous irritation or uniform calmness, may have much to do with the shades of his conduct. And while a fixed plate of stereotype may be a good adjustment for printing standard books, this is the last form which is likely to succeed in im- pressing good character upon the minds and hearts of children. While the general treatment should be uniform, it must vary in particular modes and shades, to meet the ever-varying phases of suc- cessive occasions ; and we must take the requisite time to consider what our movements should be, and how we may direct them with the clearest prospect of success. The child also often needs time to consider both his relations to his parents and to God. Not that every case should be brought formally into the court of the child's conscience. For this monitor, often too inactive, will, sometimes, be dull to pronounce decision against self; and especially slow to publish that decision by a hear- ty acknowledgement. Nor is the child to discuss the merits of every yes or no of the parent, be- fore compliance ; but one thing you may con in PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 75 your note book and wait to see it verified. Ex- cept in extraordinary cases, which, from their very nature, require despatch, and such cases will fall to the lot of almost every parent, excepting these, you will never gain in time nor execution, by pressing difficult cases much in advance of the admissions of conscience. You may seem to force on the will ; but if you have not the hearty approval of conscience to follow up and bind your work as you advance, if you have not the child's consent to block the wheel at the intervals of rest, in the progress, the movement will pro- gress heavily; and whatever is gained in the effort, will be liable to fly back so soon as the pressure motive is taken off. You may secure a promise ; but unless it is based upon some good measure of conviction, it will secure no advance in the character. In all such cases., to make haste slowly, is the proper course. The law of inertia, which holds true in matter, universally obtains, to some extent, in mind ; and hence whoever un- dertakes to move by sudden impulses in difficult cases, will, almost invariably, meet with the law 76 FAMILY TRAINING. of repulsion. When you make a sudden onset upon the will, where there is a strongly obstinate tendency, if action and re-action do not become equal, leaving the object without any advance, progress will, at least, be much more tardy than it would have been, had a little more time been allowed for yielding. I am not now speaking of the ordinary commands of the parent; for the child should be so trained from the first, that no hesitation could ordinarily be anticipated. Prompt, implicit obedience should ever be the prevailing law, as I shall endeavor to show in a subsequent number. And yet there will be instances in al- most every family, where achievement does not depend upon, either exhortation or command. The mind of the child is sometimes, and from some cause, under such a degree of excitement, that the best, if not the only successful work, is to reduce it to tranquillity. And if at the same time the parent feels conscious of any undue excitement, he should certainly wait, if the emer- gency will allow, until perfect self-possession re- turns. There are instances, as I have intima- PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 77 ted, where there may be a degree of persistence in a course of disobedience, such that coercion in some way is the only practical consideration. The child must be restrained before reflection can have the least exercise, while yet the course of things is rapidly working towards the most seri- ous results. These cases may be rare in small families, but the writer has seen them sufficiently often to know their nature and their tendency. In these instances, procrastination is more than the "thief of time." The child may persist in the presence of other children, where his persis- tence, if allowed, will undo, by example, what many efforts will not repair. But these are ex- treme cases, and, in well regulated families, do not often occur ; and where they do not, it is better to wait until calm reflection has had time both to shape the purposes of the parent, and cor- rect the views and quell the emotions of the child. It is often well, merely to call attention to a subject which needs treatment, and then remit it for future consideration, and proceed with ordina- ry duties, as though nothing had occurred. In 78 FAMILY TRAINING. most cases, where the child is susceptible of re- flection, nothing more will be needed. The de- linquent will often come voluntarily and confess his fault, when, if the case were pressed at the moment, it would provoke resistance, secret if not open, and defeat a satisfactory result. But the future consideration to which the child is referred, should never be allowed to pass finally unnoticed. A future consideration may be referred to a spe- cific time, but usually it will be better to leave it to the future indefinite. This impression is the result of observation. Indefinite time may al- ways be nearer, and, with the certainty that it will come soon, its consequences, as more imme- diately pending, will more strongly impress the attention. The importance of making haste slowly, will be farther seen from the fact that thoughtless- ness, under the impulses of youthful ardor, is one prolific source of wrong doing ; and an op- portunity for reflection, with the certain prospect that the subject will be called up in due time for thorough adjustment, will often move the child PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 79 to accomplish the work more effectually than the parent could, under any other circumstances. It may sometimes be well to let a subject, which needs attention, pass without even noticing it at the time, provided the delay be not attended with bad influences upon other members of the family. This course is especially attended with good re- sults when the child is confidently anticipating an immediate correction, and is nerving his purposes for corresponding resistance. Let it pass until he supposes you do not intend to notice it, and when he has least reason to anticipate, call attention to the circumstance, calmly but fully ; and often a few words taken entirely at unawares, will effect all that is desirable. Bat a more especial result is this, — it leads the offender to feel there is no safety but in doing right. The child is impressed with a sense of searching scrutiny in the parent. It also leaves full play for the workings of con- science, under a sense of wrong doing. In this mode of treatment, justice does not tread directly upon the heels of transgression; but the certainty that it will come, becomes a sort 80 FAMILY TRAINING. of omnipresence, which allows of no relief until the wrong is acknowledged. By such a course you will often find your child anticipating you, and sometimes will even surprise you, by an ac- knowledgment of faults of which you were en- tirely ignorant. The practice of constantly mak- ing a full adjustment of every delinquence, the moment it transpires, begets in the child the habit of constantly calling up the amount of resistance requisite to meet the case. Nay ; he learns natur- ally to count the cost while premeditating the act. And as your stereotype course gives the requisite data, the child soon learns to provide himself with the requisite amount of bravery to meet your treatment, and thus prevent it from working any good result. For in this way, often, discipline becomes disarmed and powerless. A child may be easily trained to prefer a set punishment, that he may not have the trouble to think of his fault, and be dismissed with clear papers, to make ready for the next opportunity to transgress. And this preference is one reason why the child should so often be disappointed, that he can form no certain PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 81 rule as to the time and manner of meeting his faults. "Come, mother, whip me and put me to bed," was the cool request of a little boy, whose excellent parent was so scrupulous to have every- thing that had been wrong during the day fully adjusted at night, that the little fellow as much expected a dressing down with the rod, as to be dressed up in his night-gown j that is, if conscious that he had done any wrong thing during the day. And, as a matter of course, he had come to receive one kind of dressing as indifferently as the other. In a word, whenever discipline comes to be worked in a " strait jacket," it defeats its own end. These suggestions, I consider as in accordance with the plan of God's government in this respect ; under which there is no security any where, either now or hereafter, except in obedience. And if your children are like mine, you will find that the plan works well. It may be you will sometimes feel, as many have said, that you have neither time nor patience to go into all these things. I know it is often con- sidered impracticable to protract a single case into 82 FAMILY TRAINING. a day, or even a few hours ; and the idea of a sys- tem of movements which shall embrace, as parts of a whole, a longer period, is quite intolerable to not a few. Be it so, then ; you can certainly choose for yourself, and practice at your pleasure ; but after practice you cannot interchange results, even should you desire. Whatever you will sow, you must reap, whether you will or not; and your children must eat of the same, though it be to your present mortification, and their future sor- sow. I know there is reason to fear, that some, if they should adjourn a case over night, would be very sure never to resume it again ; and the child might safely predict that any such suspension would amount to indefinite postponement. Such, according to the old proverb, must " strike while the iron is hot," or never. But the most favora- ble time to shape this kind of metal is, when both it and the agent who shapes, are especially cool. Some have been heard to say, in self compliment, that they could never keep angry over night ; this, if it means any thing, doubtless implies a PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 83 good quality. But when the head of a family cannot renew a process of needful discipline, af- ter a visitation from "nature's sweet restorer," there is reason to fear they were moved to com- mence at first, only by feelings improperly exci- ted ; and if so, the sooner they sleep the better, both for them and for the children. The most important work for which you have been consti- tuted parents, is to train your children in the way they should go. And surely that which is great- est and most important, should, when its success requires, lay the greatest tax upon your attention and time. In this work we shall show the great- est economy, if, in doing each piece of work, we take time enough to do it well. 84 FAMILY TRAINING. X. TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT HURTFUL. We cannot be too deeply impressed with the importance of sufficient time, and a due consider- ation, for training promptly and thoroughly ; and yet there may be danger that some will have too much government, or that others, who really have too little, will make too much show of what they have. Government, as well in the family as in the State, may be so cumbrous as to break itself down and substantially defeat its own ends. The more simple family government is, the better, pro- vided it possesses the requisite efficiency. In all movements, simplicity reduces friction, and dimin- ishes the number and amount of things to be kept in order : so that, other things being equal, there is more force remaining for direct accom- plishment \ and there are fewer delays from de- rangement. We have been in some families, where the fruits of good government, were only as a few shrivelled specimens on the topmost branches, TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT HURTFUL. 85 hardly discernible j and yet we were made pain- fully sensible of machinery sufficient, so far as it related to quantity, to carry forward anything. Indeed there was any amount of movement, but no progress ; action enough, but no achievement. The excess of noise, and much ado about little or nothing, confounds the whole into a congeries of indiscriminate jargon. The counteraction arising from the ill adjustment of the parts, makes little more than a neutrality of the whole. Too much of a good thing is good for nothing ; and a fami- ly literally loaded down with an ostentatious and wordy government, is a doleful illustration of this truth. Now, rule in a family should not appear like the huge beams, posts and joists, standing out in the rooms of the houses which our forefathers tenanted ; but like the more finished style of the moderns, those massive elements which secure strength and permanence, should be covered up by an exterior which is comely and agreeable. The well-constructed edifice, which only shows its paint and varnish to the eye of the passer-by, shows also the hiding of its strength, when it 86 FAMILY TRAINING. stands erect, and as immovable before the blast, as though nothing moved around it. So the bone and musele of family government should lie con- cealed under the mild and agreeable exterior of parental character, and only show itself by what it can do, and do easily, when really called for. The child should never be allowed to learn the fullest strength of the government, only when he makes the most obstinate trial of it. So the per- fection of this art is, to have it so simple and com- plete that its existence shall hardly be apparent. Again, when a flourish of government must en- velop every movement of the child, however trivial or plain, there is no privilege left him, to exercise self-control and self-guidance. If all the paths and by-paths which he is to take are pre- cisely marked, if every angle he is to turn, has a given number of degrees, which he must be sure and observe, under the sanction of pains and pen- alties, he will be directed out of all self-respect and flat down into an instrument which only works as it is worked by another ; or he will be- come nervous and strongly tempted to disobey TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT HURTFUL. 87 from the mere excess of orders given. " O dear ; I wish mother would not tell me so much, just as though I did'nt know anything," said a bright and noble little fellow, when he had been charged with more specific directions, than a lawyer could remember, and then charged again not to forget one of them. The child only needed to be point- ed in the right direction, and his own judgment would have filled out the particulars on the spot, and that to much better advantage, than the pa- rent could foresee. Every child has an inward law which is to be developed and perfected, so at length he may be- come a law unto himself. But wherever this in- ward law is buried up, and, as it were, blocked in by an excess of outward commandments, he will always be a child on some important points, be- cause the man can never find a place to get out of him, and have an opportunity to show his real self. The object of every command should be to draw out the embryo man, which is lodged in every boy, and develop him in such proportions that he shall, when set to go entirely alone, be 88 FAMILY TRAINING. Strong for duty and efficient in usefulness. Eve- ry parent should have a system of government whose nature and operations he understands. There should be an unyielding purpose to apply that system in developing the character of the child ; and yet it is not ordinarily wise to make this pictorially larger than life, in the view of the children. Too great a show of apparatus and too much noise in working it, will invariably re- tard the progress of salutary training. It will often require so much power to work the machine, that small force will remain to press on the character. Dr. Bellamy said, when he was young, he thought it was the thunder that killed people ; but as he advanced in life, he found it was the lightning; and therefore came to dread the thunder less and fear the lightning more. This is natural ; and if some excellent parents, of a verbose but hollow government, would take a hint from this, and add a higher degree of silent efficiency to a less amount of display, they would doubtless be cheered by advancing success in their appropriate work. YES OR NO. 89 XL YES OR NO. Those parents who have fully learned the dif- ference between yes and no in their relations to family government, surely have reached one im- portant attainment ; for much depends on the man- ner they pronounce these monosyllables, — wheth- er cheerfully or reluctantly, whether emphatically or with a faltering tongue. If almost every re- ply to the child's request is partly yes and partly no, the young inquirer will understand that you are undecided ; and that he can have his own way by a little importunity. But this, ordinarily, is poor management. The word of the parent should be law to the child. So the Bible teaches ; and so observation confirms. Nor must your words of law so bear upon your child's wishes, as to allow of alteration or amendment, whenever the gratify cation of those wishes shall seem to require it. I do not say that you shall never reverse a decision: .- — since you are bound to do this, whenever ad^- foerence will lead you to an act .of injustice, or to 7 90 FAMILY TRAINING. any injurious result. But a decision should nev- er be reversed, merely because the child desires it. The substantial reasons for the change should be independent of this. If your yes and no are al- ways prompt and hearty, if one is pronounced with as much good will as the other, the child will soon come to be nearly, if not fully as well satisfied with the one as the other. But if your decisions are so made as to encourage importunity, you will get little credit even for your best inten- tions. When you allow yourself to be teased in- to an affirmative, the petitioner will thank, not you, but his own skill as an advocate. If, after all, you deny him, your indecision will, ordinari- ly, prevent a filial submission on his part. Teas- ing, therefore, should never be allowed. Nor is it, ordinarily, safe to give the reason of the denial at the time. When the prompt and significant rejoinder is, " why not sir?" the pru- dent father will say, because i" do not think it best; and this should put an end to controversy. For you will notice that the child does not ask, that he may be satisfied with a reason. He asks, that YES OR NO. 91 he may refute with better reasons to the contrary. You may, and ought, occasionally, to give the reasons subsequently, especially if the child be in a proper mental state to appreciate them, and also occasionally at the time, if sure that they are re- quired from proper motives. If you give them under proper circumstances, the child will see that you have reasons even when you do not give them. And this will incline him to submit cheer- fully in future without reasons. Rarely lay yourself under specific obligation to your children, by an absolute promise which is to be redeemed unconditionally. If you do, you will often find yourself between the horns of a dire dilemna; and escape you cannot, without a grazing either from one side or the other. For you will sometimes find it needful to break your promise, on the principle that a "bad promise is better broken than kept;" and so you will un- dermine the confidence which your children ought to repose in you. If it will be better to fulfill, the fulfillment may encourage a license which will make your family like a "city that is broken 92 FAMILY TRAINING. down, without walls." Now just withhold your specific promise ; and, at most, make it condition- al, as God does His ; and proceed on the general principle, that obedience and fidelity are to be re- warded in some way, if they be not their own reward. Teach your children to confide in your goodness to do what is suitable, so that they will have a cheerful satisfaction, in feeling that it is sufficient that father and mother know how the case is to issue, and you will be relieved from many harrassing reflections, and secure to your family an unfailing source of enjoyment. This reserved privilege of bestowing at discretion, is often the secret of parental power. It often ena- bles one to surprise the child with unexpected fa- vors, causing an overflow of gratitude, which gratitude does more than anything beside, to strengthen the filial relation. But that must ever be an uncomfortable child, who is so managed, as to keep his parent under an acknowledged obliga- tion to him. Those parents who train their children to a habit of prompt and cheerful obedience, are doing YES OR NO. 93 much for the salvation of their offspring ; and through them, very much, prospectively, for the kingdom of Christ. Filial submission is almost an essential stepping stone toward that higher sub- mission to God, as enjoined in the Gospel. When you see a yomig man, or young woman, who wan- tonly repudiates parental authority, he is pretty sure to say also, in his practice, " There is no God." The inculcation of obedience is essential to se- cure the respect of the child. Though many pa- rents take the opposite course to secure this ob- ject, yet in nothing can they be more certain of defeat. It is the child left to himself, that despi- ses his mother, and those only who are corrected betimes, give them true pleasure. The prosperity of the State owes more to wholesome family training, than to almost any other source. Come, father and mother, let us double our diligence and lengthen our persever- ance in this good work. The nation needs our humble efforts, to secure subordination to its wholesome laws. The ways of Zion mourn, be- 94 FAMILY TEAINING. cause so few of our sons are growing up in their youth, as plants of renown ; and because, in the family circle, no more of our daughters become as polished stones, polished after the similitude of a palace. XII. PERIOD OF TRAINING. The period of infancy, embraces the first six or seven years of the child's life. And I know there are those, who think that parents have little to do for their offspring during this period, except to feed, to clothe and protect them from physical harm. These are often regarded as of too young and tender an age, to come under any system of regimen. Should they form some bad habits during this season, it is argued that they will readily cast them off again, so soon as they be- come old enough to see their evil tendency. But whoever imbibes these views and shapes his prac- tice accordingly, will sooner or later reap disap- PERIOD OF TRAINING. 95 pointment, if not sorrow, as the legitimate fruit of false views, and a bad practice. For the ear- liest years of a child's life, are evidently by far the most susceptible. He doubtless receives more new things, and fixes more new ideas during the first seven years, than in the eight years which next succeed. This rapid influx of new thoughts, and new impressions, accounts for the great in- quisitiveness during this period. Every observ- ing child asks more questions between the ages of three and eight years, than during any other three of his life. And you will have noticed that these questions are not merely for idle talk. They are usually the language of earnest simplicity. They result from a simple desire to know ; and the inquiry is not merely after facts, but after principles and modes of action. How important therefore, since the child commences in the cra- dle to build his own character, and store it with furniture, how important, that the responsible work of superintendence and direction should commence there also. I do not believe that we have a blank placed 96 FAMILY TRAINING. in our hands, at the birth of a child; — a blank which We may fill out at such discretion, that we need not commence writing, till the seventh or eighth page is turned. For I have no evidence, either from Scripture or observation, that God ever sent such a blank to us, in the form of a human being. I would rather follow the analogies of nature, and the teachings of truth, and select the figure of a living germ, infolding all the rudiments of future being ; and while these press outward and upward towards maturity, by the internal force of intellect and heart, the parent, like the skillful gardener, as "a workman that needethnot to be ashamed," is set to train the rising plant of beauty, of excellence and renown. But the wise and successful gardener is at his appointed work, so soon as the germ appears upon the bosom of its mother earth. To watch, to weed and water, is his appropriate work ; and he knows right well, that the earlier he commences in the season, the more successful will be his summer toil — the rich- er and more perfect the fruits of autumn. So will it be in that richer garden of olive-plants, in PERIOD OF TRAINING. 97 your own loved home, and around your own ta- ble ; — those who are to be reared for the vineyard of the Lord, and the field of usefulness, which is the world. Every wise gardener acts on the principle of prevention. The noxious weeds, whose seeds and germs are in the soil ready to spring up eve- ry where, must not be allowed to strike and spread their roots. Much less must their ascending stalks be suffered to mature, until the ripened seed shall begin to fall from them. So neither should the germs of inordinate desire, and evil habit, which are native to the human heart, be allowed to root and spread. And yet they will certainly do this, unless they receive the early and assiduous atten- tion of the parent. Only neglect this watchful- ness and care to keep down the spontaneous ten- dencies of the heart to evil, and you may be sure the virtues and the graces will not assume that prominence, which must shape a truly desirable character. Good principles and virtuous habits early established, will be the strongest safeguard against temptation, and the best help to success in every good enterprise. 98 FAMILY TRAINING. Again; you will have gained immensely for the child, if you can do up the more serious work of discipline so early, that the facts of it will be buried in oblivion, while the salutary results of it enter into the foundation of a noble character. That child who is yielding all the fruits of filial obedience, while he does not remember any of the mortifying struggles against the submission which has led to it, has, so far, a happy outset of existence. I know you will often hear it said by very re- spectable people, that there is no use in taking great pains to correct the wrong bias and the early faults of a child. " Let the little fellow have his own way now, since he enjoys it. He will cor- rect himself when his reason is sufficiently mature to rule." And so perhaps he might, to some ex- tent, were it not for the cardinal fact, that habit, if first allowed to grow, almost invariably be- comes stronger than reason ; so that when reason would take the throne and rule over the man, as lawful heir, it finds a usurper in the form of con- firmed evil habit ; and so fairly seated, that there PERIOD OP TRAINING. 99 is little hope that any other will obtain rule over the spirit. Good early habits seem to stand in the place of regents substituted during the time being, for the protection of the mind during its minority. And these early habits duly fastened and matured, instead of claiming unlawful dominion, and in- stead of causing the heart to become like a city that is broken down, will become the true allies and strongest prime ministers of reason. They will compose, as it were, the body-guard of prin- ciple and practice. But a child left, at this early period, to form such habits and to indulge in such practices as his impulses will dictate, will bring his father more or less of shame, and often be a grief to her that bore him. The influence of an unpropitious spring-time prevents the growth of summer, and sends down to the autumn of age, the withered fruit of a bad- ly managed life. If reason and conscience in the man, do get somewhat the control of habits formed in childhood, it often takes the last half of life to undo the follies of the first half; so that when the man gets ready to live, it is time to die. How 100 FAMILY TRAINING. many a noble ship have we seen plowing the ocean of life, stern foremost, pushing and butting against the billows of adverse circumstances, at the greatest disadvantage, and all this because she was not trimmed and manned with good habits and good principles at the outset of her voyage. Whoever would, therefore, in subsequent life, reap the fruits of early parental hope, must com- mence the work of training at the beginning of life. Secure obedience so early that the child will not remember when the struggles against sub- mission ceased. Let good habits be established so early that their fruits will seem the natural product of the child's being. You will have the native bias of your offspring to oppose your ef- forts ; you may have your own imperfections to retard your progress ; but persevere, relying on the aid promised from above, and though you may not secure all you desire, you will hardly fail of a good measure of success. But, connected with this subject, there is another evil which I have seen under the sun ; and often it greatly endan- gers the ultimate success of parental efforts. PERIOD OF TRAINING. 101 The period of training in many instances, ter- minates too early ; so that where there is a good beginning, there is often a bad end, because the work is left unfinished. The whole is essential- ly weakened or entirely lost for want of comple- tion. In these days, many children seem to leap the age of youth, and from being little children, become at once men and women, at least in their own estimation; and too often also in the treat- ment of their parents. In these cases too, the child becomes the " father of the man " in a dif- ferent sense from what the poet intended j since the parents, instead of being the directors, sub- mit to the dictation of their children. I have heard more than one father suggest, in relation to sons twelve or fourteen years of age, that it is dif- ficult to tell which is the nearest right, the parent or the child, in their views of conduct at that ear- ly period. Verily, such things ought not to be. Parents should be able to decide for all children at this age. Bat where they must discuss every subject with the children, to obtain the requisite light to act, in far the larger number of instances 102 FAMILY TRAINING the little folks will prove the better advocates, and, right or wrong, get the case decided in their favor. The whole period of minority is the proper peri- od for parental direction. So says the civil law, and it does not secure the agency of children as responsible in matters of finance until their age has exceeded this limit. And surely, the forma- tion of character is not a subject of less impor- tance than the transaction of secular business. More things should be left discretionary, as the child advances. In later years, the previous la- bors need consolidation. The parts must knit and grow with each other, until there shall be a permanent symmetry. And during this process, the character, however excellent in its outlines, often needs touching in different parts, and should be under the direction of those who are qualified to finish, as well as to commence the work. PHYSICAL TRAINING. 103 XIII. PHYSICAL TRAINING. Every child has a body, which, though it be the rough outer coating of the whole person, is yet most intimately connected with the delicate and indwelling spirit. The body is the house of the soul, fearfully and wonderfully made. To neg- lect the body, is to abuse the soul which tenants it. For the illustrious occupant is worthy of a good house, and the Master Builder is not pleased that we should neglect his own handiwork. The human body is a system of organs, serving the highest use of any material thing which God has made, and for this reason, it should have the most care. It also has a direct influence upon the mind in many ways ; so that, other things being equal, the inner man will flourish, much as the outer is taken care of. The body is to transmit health or disease to future generations. The imbecility or strength of those who are to live after both us and our children, will depend in no small degree, 104 FAMILY TRAINING. upon the manner in which we conduct this part of family training. And, as the physical must ever modify the metaphysical of human being, we are at work also for the future minds of the world, while taking care of the present bodies. With such facts in view, most evidently, duty must supersede inclination, in this work; and ev- ery parent who would faithfully address himself to the physical training of his family, must not only make up his mind to the theory of the busi- ness, he must also move the powers of his body, .to work these theories out into practice. For, it may be truly said in this department of human duty, that while the spirit is willing, the flesh is often emphatically weak. Duty must also super- sede fashion. For while the fashions of this world pass rapidly away, the effects of our physi- cal training, good or bad, abide often, not only through our own lives, but from generation to gen- eration after. A sense of duty should overcome the fear and opinion of society, wherever that opinion is false. Physicians, as the physical doc- tors of the land, ought, emphatically, to be phys-* PHYSICAL TRAINING. 105 leal teachers on this subject ; declaring the whole truth and nothing but the truth, whether men and women will hear, or forbear to hear. If a D. D. who suppresses and tempers the truth to suit the fastidious ears of his audience, is unworthy of his office, why should an M. D., be considered a faith- ful servant if he withholds truth which might have prevented what he is called upon to cure ? As every child has a body, so every body needs support. Nature teaches that the food, especially of children, should be simple and nutritious, but not exciting. Condiments in the youthful system, not merely perform a work of supererogation, they are the bane of health. Most children are native- ly supplied with sufficient pepper and ginger. Ordinarily, their animal natures need no other stimulants than what belong to them. If to these you add artificial, you are in danger of getting up more sail than ballast, and if you do not upset the system, you fit it to become the wreck of subse- quent disease. Children require a larger amount of wholesome food than many suppose, because they are to sup- 8 106 FAMILY TRAINING. ply both for waste and growth. And, judging from the amount of exercise they are naturally inclined to take, the waste cannot be small. I need not say that the times of taking food should be regular. Hardly anything is more prej- udicial to the health of children, than irregular and promiscuous eating. When the raw material is pitched into the stomach oftener, or in larger quantities than the organs of digestion can dis- pose of, the nerves and blood-vessels immediately report the abuse to the brain ; and there result, both derangement of body and confusion of mind. Many children are strongly inclined to neglect the wise provision which the Creator has made for the mastication of food ; and instead of a mill, or at least cracking machine, use the mouth only as the hopper of the stomach ; and when this is filled almost to suffocation, instead of allowing the saliva to mingle with the mass, — nature's pro- vision to aid deglutition and promote digestion, — a flood of water is forced in to float the whole down the sesophagus in the most summary manner. The stomach justly recoils at the ungracious task PHYSICAL TRAINING. 107 of grinding up and diluting such huge morsels, and calls on the brain for sympathy. Now the child does not look well, and must take some " belladonna," or other good medicine, to cure a sleepy head-ache. The almost unremitted sucking of confectione- ry is a practice so injurious both to the health of the body and elasticity of the mind, that it need only be mentioned to have its influence avoided. Every child has a body which needs to be clad. This involves several particulars which I can bare- ly touch upon. The person of a child is to be kept warm at one time and cool at another. It is a growing and forming body which you clothe, and physical nature here, as human nature else- where, is very desirous of having her own way. If you cut the jacket too strait, or draw the lac- ings too tight, upon the expanding form, nature will be avenged for your unlawful interference.. Boys stand in less danger from .this source than girls. But caution is needful in regard to both. That young man cannot go lame, because he is crippled in both feet, and this makes them "equal." 108 FAMILY TRAINING. He wanted very tight fits in shoes and boots, be- cause they look so sleek and pretty ; and now, if he walk a mile or two he must stop by the road- side and pare down the little horny protuberances upon his locomotives, in order to proceed with any comfort. Mother, who was that 7iaked woman, once said our little son, not five years old, on returning from a wedding where a " would be " lady of fashion had offended his simple, unsophisticated taste, with her bare arms, bare chest, bare shoulders, to go no farther with the truth. This was the se- verest criticism I ever heard upon this extreme of dress ; and the stricture was all the more severe, because it was really one which the Creator him- self made through those unvitiated instincts which he had created for a sure guide in taste. So much for the appearance. But what can we say of such a dress as protection against the chill damps of evening, or any of the rigors of a New England climate ? We laugh at the little feet of the Chi- na women, as ridiculous ; and they truly are so. But with their roomy and comfortable dressing in PHYSICAL TRAINING. 109 other respects, they have a right to cast the ridi- cule back in our teeth, for compressing other and more vital portions of the youthful form. XIV. PHYSICAL TRAINING. Every child has a body which needs fresh air. The subject of ventilation has, for some years past, received much more attention than formerly. Our public school edifices, in country as well as town, are becoming more spacious and princely. As the little, low, square knowledge-boxes have, like the generation who built them, been vanish- ing away, the hand of improved science has sup- plied the new with a better architecture ; insert- ing many articles for convenience, for comfort, for health ; and all composing a much better appara- tus for developing a full proportioned man from the rude elements of the boy. But the work of reform is not yet complete. Even our own loved 110 FAMILY TRAINING. New England is yet dotted over with not a few of the merest boy cages ; where close and impure air induces a soggy brain, and a dull intellect, which ordinarily yields too large an amount of idleness and mischief; "grating harsh discord'- upon the efforts of a faithful teacher, who is do- ing the best he can, with nerves unstrung and a temper rendered fretful, from the same causes which make the children so naughty. I say these local influences are passsng away ; and yet far too many of them remain, for the good of the rising generation, especially in the smaller country towns. When a lad, I went to school in a room which was often crammed with more than one hundred scholars, with two teachers. And only last au- tumn, when I visited the old homestead, and took another peep into that old school-room, which had been the scene of so much suffering and dread, that thirty-five years have hardly blunted the keen edge of the recollections of headache and weariness, which made each hour a day, and each day almost insupportable; I found the identical PHYSICAL TRAINING. Ill old school-house yet there, with no alteration or amendment, except in the order of the seats.* It still remains with open jaws and small capacity, to gorge the successive generations of children. And though I am happy to say, it does by no means succeed in making very blockheads of the entire number it receives, yet I dare say, it con- tinues, as formerly, in doing all it can to cramp the budding genius, and fetter the free action of juvenile thought. Since God has made a world full of good air, and ordained wise laws to keep it fresh for use, why may not all have as much as they want of it to breathe ? There are chil- dren whose parents would think it unpardonable, should their little ones become slightly bronzed by vernal suns and equinoxial winds. Their del- icate feet and hands must never touch the fresh dirt, lest they become barbarously defiled. And yet these may, perhaps, be crowded into a small, low, tight room, with door closed and windows down ; with not a breath of air except the roomful which is shut in with them for the night, unless * A new one is now going up. 112 FAMILY TRAINING. small portions may enter somewhere in defiance of the mechanic's art. In much this condition, night after night, year in and year out, these forms of susceptible texture must literally inhale over and, over the filth of their own persons. Na- ture is constantly blowing off in efforts at purifi- cation. And art is as constantly condensing back into the system the enfeebling elements of its own effusion. Why inflict such a penance on a child — a penance which God does not require, and which nature abhors ? Truly, such as practice in this way may keep clean the outside of the child's clay tabernacle, and yet they provide for the worst kind of physical impurities within. Every child has a body which ought to he ipro- vided toith sufficient exercise. And the more of this you can give them in the open air, the bet- ter, provided their persons are suitably protected. Some kind of useful employment is ordinarily the best kind of exercise. Careful observation has shown that almost every child has a native taste for utility ; though this taste is often destroyed in early life, for want of proper cultivation, During PHYSICAL TRAINING. 113 a course of years in which the writer's whole time has bee'? employed with children and youth, he has found but few among the many, who would not willingly leave their play to do some- thing useful. Many lads have, perhaps, more fre- quently asked for something to do in the form of work, than for anything beside. There is evi- dently a distinct element in human nature, which can only be developed by some form of utility ; and by an appeal to this element, in securing need- ful exercise, we do, as the old adage has it, "kill two birds with one stone." We secure the exer- cise which is needful for present health and vigor ; and also cultivate a love of industry and a habit of being useful. Labor, however, must not con- stitute the whole of juvenile exercise. Certainly, it must not be pressed as a task for the whole. And your prudence should ever be on guard, lest your child be supplied with too large a portion of this good thing ; though, in most cases, the great- er danger lies in the opposite extreme. Children should certainly have play enough, if not provi- ded with work. And in this department, I have 114 FAMILY TRAINING. invariably found, that nothing is entered into by them with so much life and spirit, as something they get up themselves. Something original, which embraces both mental skill and physical activity, will continue fresh and impart a strong stimulus, long after a set game would become dull and in- sipid. If you are in the free and open country, when your boys have become tired of the gym- nasium, of " tag " and " pealaway," and with the various forms of ball, give them a pile of old brok- en rails, or other farm-yard fragments, — a heap of stones ; or turn them out upon a road bank, skirt- ed with green turf, and you will see new foun- tains of enterprise, gushing up in many novel forms, where you thought all was exhausted. In- vention and practice, afford the double pleasure of mental and physical activity. " Guarded ex- posure in all weathers," was the oft-repeated ad- vice of a venerable professor to his pupils. And this rule is, probably, about as nearly right as you can get any general one. Frosty locks and cold fin- gers, snow forts and ice railways, are the very best states and employments of school boys in winter. PHYSICAL TK AINING. 115 And these will do more than anything else exter- nal, to secure a sound mind in a sound body. But daughters have constitutions to develop, and systems to invigorate, as well as sons. And it is believed they much oftener suffer, through lack of the proper means. The same elements in them, require the same air and exercise. It is believed that many excellent families in the com- munity, greatly err on this point, and that too, to the great detriment of health and vigor. True, the daughters ought not, and cannot en- ter into all the masculine sports adapted to boys ; and yet they must have free and stirring exercise in the open air. No in-door preparation, either of work or play, can be a substitute for this. Romps, perhaps, is not the most proper term to designate the needful out-door exercise of girls; and yet I would much rather have them, in suitable pla- ces and at suitable times, coast down hill, slide on the ice, and even climb apple-trees, than have them always housed up in tight rooms, and com- pelled to breathe close air. Indeed you can nev- er develop a truly elegant form, and a vigorous 116 FAMILY TRAINING. constitution, by the " hot bed" and straight-jack- et process. Every child has a body which should be kept clean. Filth, be there more or less of it, has a two-fold tendency. It degrades and enfeebles the persons, by its enervating influence. It also has the power of striking in, and inherently af- fects the intellectual and moral natures. We of- ten notice a strong similarity between the out- ward and the inward of a man. What otherwise might have been mental gold, and moral purity, is often tarnished, and turned to corrosion, by the slovenly encasement of the body. Figuratively speaking, many bright thoughts are scared away from the intellect, and many noble resolves die in the soul, because they can pass neither in nor out, without coming in contact with an unclean person. PHYSICAL TRAINING. 1 1 7 XV. PHYSICAL TRAINING.— HINTS AND CAUTIONS.* A new period in the life of a child, brings new joys ; and often, also, new dangers, and new tri- als. As the boy, more especially, approaches the age of puberty, a new class of impulses begin to stir, preparatory to a new development; a new bodily appetite gradually grows into being ; and youthful ardor receives an additional stimulus, from new ideas respecting the reciprocal relation of the sexes. Considering the unbalanced con- dition of the forces of fallen humanity, the peri- od from twelve to fifteen or sixteen years of age, may be considered the season most fruitful of danger. This, physically, is the transition period from the child, to manhood. During this brief s For valuable information on the subject of this number, the reader is referred to the following little works. " Hints to the young," &c, by Samuel B. Woodward, M, D. " True relation of the Sexes," by John Ware, M. D. " An hour's con- ference with the young," by Charles V. Bell. 118 FAMILY TRAINING. season, physical habits are often formed, which determine the whole future of the man, both men- tally and physically. Says a living writer, " It seems unfortunate, that the propensity of our natures, which it seems hnost difficult to control, and which, when uncon- trolled, is the sure source of the greatest physical and moral evils, is that whose regulation is left most completely to chance j or at least to the in- fluence of circumstances in the progress of life, that we can do very little to modify." All know what turn this propensity often takes in our large cities. It involves an evil which is very ancient. The Wise man hath told, in Prov- erbs, of one who sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city, to call passengers who go right on their ways. To him that wanteth understanding, she saith, stolen wa- ters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleas- ant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell. Surely in these latter days, she hath no need to sit and woo thus publicly j for many be the fair PHYSICAL TRAINING. 119 youth who go and search diligently for her, even in dark and lonesome places. Time has not dried up these stolen waters : nor have those who go on their way ceased to turn in as they pass along; and yet many would pass by without stopping, had they received from parental lips, and parental watchfulness, the requisite instruction and train- ing soon enough. But the city is not alone in danger from the in- fluence of ungoverned appetite. There is anoth- er habit than the one described by Solomon ; and as involving an earlier practice, is perhaps uniform- ly the precursor to the one already noticed. It is more solitary and requires no companionship for its perpetration. Its prevalence in the community, among both high and low, constitutes, there is rea- son to fear, too extensively the primary school of sensuality. I know that all parents would be hap- py to believe their sons and daughters were en- tirely ignorant both of the habit and its practice ; but the late Samuel B. Woodward, M. D., has said, that after all his investigation, he had never found a boy over twelve years of age, who did not 120 FAMILY TRAINING* know of the habit, and was not familiar with the common names by which it passes among boys. It is a false delicacy by which intelligent parents feign an ignorance and an indifference in regard to an evil which stands in such proximity to the vital interest of the child ; especially when nearly all the work which can be done by way of pre* vention, must be done in the family, and can be most effectually done by the parents. The young- er generation of children, are initiated by those a few years in the advance ; and thus the evil is perpetuated. The habit is established by the in- fluence of example, often before any harm or wrong is thought of. It does not require any hardness in vice to commence this habit ; for the innocent are almost equally liable to become its victims. But when the habit is once established, though new light be thrown upon the darkness, yet the power of an active conscience, and the dread of coming evil, is not always sufficient to secure restraint. The unhappy captive of his own tyrant passion, haunted with remorse for the past, and threatened with defeat in the future, PHYSICAL TRAINING. 121 truly suffers all the anguish of forlorn hope, ad- ded to the active misery of his desperate vice ; and yet multitudes who have suffered in this way, might have been saved from the first violation, and have avoided all that has followed, had they received the kindly vvatch, and the friendly in- etructiorij at the right time. ■Some. of the effects of this habit, I will give in the language of Dr. John Ware, to whom the reader has been referred. "In ordinary cases we notice an impaired nutrition of the body ; a dim- inution of the rotundity which belongs to chil- dren and youth ; a general lassitude and languor, with weakness of the limbs and back; indisposi- tion and incapacity for study or labor ; dullness of apprehension, a deficient power of attention,- diz- ziness; headaches; pains in the sides, back, and limbs ; affection of the eyes. In cases of extreme indulgence, these symptoms become more strong- ly marked, and are followed by others. The emaciation becomes excessive ; the bodily powers become more completely prostrated ; -the memory and the whole mind partake in the ruin; and 9 122 FAMILY TRAINING. idiocy or insanity in their most intractable form, close the train of evils." I am fully aware that this is not the place to detail upon a subject so delicate ; and yet, words with the parent would close too soon, without some allusion to this subject. I have referred to some of the best little works, where the subject is treated in an able manner, by members of the medical profession. In regard to remedies, the homely adage will undoubtedly hold truer here, than in most cases, that a an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure." Among the means of preven- tion are, L A degree of moral and mental cultivation, which may lead the youth, as it were, instinctive- ly, to recoil at the thought of a habit so low and filthy ; a high and elevated sense of moral purity, is the main rock of safety, from this engulphing Whirlpool of perverted appetite. 2. In close alliance with this elevated purity of sentiment, is parental vigilance. This should be so timely and persevering and judicious, as PHYSICAL TRAINING. 123 never to communicate a knowledge of this vice to the youth, until sure that he has acquired some knowledge from some other source ; nor would it hardly be pardonable to neglect the welfare of the child, so as to allow of such an indulgence to pass unnoticed for any length of time, without full and faithful instruction as to its moral and physical bearing. 3. Uniform purity of speech, and cleanliness of person, are essential helpers in the means of prevention. " That which cometh out of the heart, defileth the man j" and the outward filth of an unclean person, will, ordinarily, so strike inward, as to create an impure mind. We are told on the best authority, that there is positively no cure, while the indulgence is contin- ued. Be the subject willing or unwilling, the ex- istence of the cause will ensure the effect. The constitution may be strong enough, in many ca- ses, to hold out with considerable balance, after great losses ; and yet the individual can never be what he might have been, under the more whole- some law of temperance; and the results of the 124 FAMILY TRAINING. transgression may be perpetuated in the iniquities of the fathers, upon the children, to the third and fourth generation. The books to which reference has been made at the head of this number, are, ostensibly written for youth ; and yet, with my experience in family training, I could not advise to the indiscriminate reading of them by children. It will be more safe, if the parents become famil- iar with their contents. Let the facts and princi- ples first pass through the crucible of their own thoughts, and thence, modified and prepared by paternal interest, pass to the children, as circum- stances and prudence may suggest. If concern and effort were directed to this subject, and the means applied as perseveringly to prevent, as oth- er means are, to prevent and eradicate the habits of falsehood and profanity, I am sure there would be much greater success ; and this cause dimin- ished, there would be less to make this fair earth a vale of tears ; less to supply it with weeping travellers. MORAL INSTRUCTION. 125 XVI. MORAL INSTRUCTION. Every kind of morality not founded on the Bible, is at least a cheap article ; and often entire- ly useless. Morality, as one part of the world has it, is little more than a false politeness, which sits merely upon the surface ; — a sort of fitness of words and actions to circumstances ; — an effort to make all appear smooth, whether it be so or not. It has forms, and airs, and expressions even, which are sometimes well-nigh ecstatic. But after all, it lacks "one thing." It has no live heart. It has no real pulse to prove its vitality. It teaches, indeed, that the liar is no gentlemen, and will, in the end be a loser, when he comes not to be be- lieved, though he tells the truth. The highest notch of this morality, is just balanced by its own golden rule, that " Honesty is the best policy ;" not discerning that no such policy, merely as such, can ever make an honest man. But this rule of policy is a perfect embodiment of this whole sys- 126 FAMILY TKAININO. tern of morals. It is all policy, and nothing else. So much for the principles. Now let us glance at the practice. All policy, in this sense, is, more or less, directly aimed at personal advantage, as a result ; and that too, irrespective of the abstract right or wrong of the matter. It may be found convenient to proceed upon right principles ; and then the act is innocent. When wrong principles are deemed better suited to the end, this policy makes no scruple to employ them. " The end sanctifies the means," if any sanctification is deem- ed needed to justify them. Hence, this politic morality appears pretty well, when the profit and loss in the case are favorably adjusted. It sits quite comely on the character, as a kind of Sun- day dress, and often makes an admirable appear- ance in company. In very refined society, so called, it occasionally seems to eclipse the sterner kind, in its own shadowy substance. And yet it always appears to the best advantage " in fair weather." Indeed, it does not well endure the storms of life. When right practice requires strong self-denial, it bends in accommodation to circum- MORAL INSTRUCTION. 127 stances. It will never bind a child firmly to truth while falsehood promises a much better success. It has no charm against the use of oaths and vul- garity, where profanity and obsceneness are popu- lar. Constructed mainly, to go with the tide of human affairs, it makes a feeble resistance against the popular current, turbid though that current be with false principles and bad actions. Every parent, therefore, who would train his child in the way he should go, must take the Bi- ble as his leading text-book in morals. You must put God, the Supreme, the holy, just and good, in the centre of your system. Let your creed put in His hand the sceptre of dominion, and con- cede to Him the sovereign right of universal gov- ernment. To this Supreme, let your child's thoughts be directed. Teach him early to ascribe every thing in creation and providence, to God as Maker, Disposer, and Ruler, until his own bud- ding intellect and expanding heart, shall come to do it as by instinct. Instil into his mind the deep and settled conviction that God is everywhere present j — that everything is said and done under 128 FAMILY TRAINING. his immediate inspection. Commence this instruc- tion so early, that in subsequent life, it shall seem to have been an inseparable part of his nature ; and yet a part which mature reason will cherish and confirm ; so that what your child can never remember to have learned, because he knew it so early, he shall find taught everywhere in the Bi- ble, and freely endorsed by the noblest faculties of the soul. I know you cannot forestall depravity. And yet, you may so early surround it with the sun- shine of heaven, as to wither some of its bitterest fruits in the bud, and thus render your subsequent labor more hopeful. This religious habit is not piety; though it is worth everything else below itself. It can never, in itself, be a substitute for piety, though it prepares a soil upon which piety will be more likely to grow. The fact, that our children are natively de- praved, and must be born again before they can see the kingdom of heaven, does not excuse us from early and strenuous efforts to cultivate such a morality as the Bible teaches. On the contrary, MORAL INSTRUCTION. 129 it greatly increases the obligation to diligence. For, if the garden-soil is full of noxious seeds, the hand of cultivation must be nerved in early spring-time, in order to anticipate a hopeful au- tumn. Verily, you must not allow the suscepti- ble soil of the heart to be overrun, if you would have the good seed of the Word take root and flourish subsequently. That error of a liberalized Christianity, which regards these religious habits as piety, we must re- ject. And that other extreme idea, which asks what these modes and habits are good for, if they are not piety, we must reject also. For this moral condition keeps the heart, in a measure, clear of the thistles of prejudice ; it keeps the susceptibili- ties, in some degree, delicate to the impressions of truth and duty. It encloses the heart with good principles, and makes it something safer than the unprotected way-side, where many temptations, like "fowls of the air," devour the good seed, be- fore even the first blade of promise appears. As depravity relates more to the will, than to any other faculty, children may understand their 130 FAMILY TRAINING. obligations, and feel them too, in some good de- gree, long before the will bows in submission. So, if they do not become christians early, there is an important moral process advancing as pre- paratory. The perfect standard of morals, must ever be held up as the only true one, so the child's felt deficiencies may ever grate upon his sense of duty, till he is led to seek the needed help, where alone it can be found. Such morality is the most highly practical, for the present time. It refers all judicious rule from the parent, directly back to the great source of all authority ; to a being of awful majesty, and in- finite goodness, who is viewed as sitting above the parent and directing him how to proceed. Through the same medium also, that authority descends to visit the child with precepts, and bow his will to parental love. If the parent truly feels the force of this relation, and has properly in- structed his offspring in the same, it will not be difficult to make the child see, that parental agen- cy is only a medium link in conveying the disci- pline of Jehovah directly to himself. With such MORAL INSTRUCTION. 131 impressions of God so perfectly around and above him, — with the realized presence of his providen- tial and disciplinary care, most children will not long resist parental authority, or refuse parental instruction. XVII. MORAL INSTRUCTION. Every child thinks on moral subjects, and feels moral influences ; and some feel much more than parents apprehend. And, as We are in a great measure responsible for the subjects, and right di- rection of their thoughts, in our attention to these matters, we should by no means overlook the furniture of the nursery. A child's playthings and amusements may have an influence upon his moral nature, which will affect his whole subse- quent character. The instinctive tastes of a child are often more correct, than they ever are subse- quently. The first truly beautiful things, wheth- 132 FAMILY TRAINING. er physical or moral, fill the mind with delight, while deformities almost as invariably disgust. Yet here often, as elsewhere, familiarity with the thing once loathed, secures for it approbation, and approbation paves the way for complaisance. All pictures and images afford pleasure, principally from one or two considerations. The first is the resemblance of the imitation to the original, the second is a marked dissimilarity where resem- blance was anticipated. Pleasure of the first kind arises in accordance with a correct and healthful taste ; the second is mostly connected with a false or vitiated. All "comic pictures" and gro- tesque images come under the second class of sources of pleasure ; and are doing an immense injury, by creating and confirming a morbid taste among the young. The sight of them is only defiling to the susceptible mind of any youth. Not a few have very justly set forth the influence of bad books, while the influence of these de- formed pictures is doing the preparatory work of pollution, even more effectually. For the sight of the eye affects the heart more deeply, than a MORAL INSTRUCTION. 133 written description of the same object ; and these vitiating pictures are capable of doing their worst, before the mind is sufficiently mature to be much affected by a written narrative. And they are rendered more dangerous, from the fact, that many parents who will not harbor a bad book, do not hesitate to spread before the tender mind, every grade and character of comic picture. What though these do not speak in language ? Yet they do most powerfully impress the whole plastic nature of the child, and often transform it •into a corruptible thing after its own image. Give that beautiful boy, who discovers a taste for drawing, a pencil and paper ; and what is most likely in these days, to come forth from the darling's brain? Not a virgin, blue-eyed and beautiful, as that which leaped from the gash made in Jupiter's cranium. No ; but "monstrum Iwrrendum /"—and really revealing a morbid taste which is forming within. A taste which, unles s checked in the bud, may soon become too arti- ficial to relish anything real. Alas ! how much of good influence, — of Baptismal dedication, of 134 FAMILY TRAINING. Maternal Meetings and Sabbath School instruc- tion, is daily swept away by these "besoms of destruction." When will the devoted father and mother stop deliberately sowing the worst of tares in their own precious wheat-fields ? Purity of speech is a fundamental considera- tion in forming the morals of a child. Words take their complexion from the moral state of the heart. So, if profane or obscene words, in any form, are allowed, they will always increase the vicious propensity, through the well-known law that practice generates strength. But words them- selves when once spoken, react upon the moral feelings. So every foul-mouthed boy, not only poisons the surrounding atmosphere with his tongue, he at the same time corrupts inwardly. There are many profane and foolish talkers in these days, who are not regarded, generally, as such. Many children swear by almost every ex- istence except the Deity, and think it no harm. Why should they? When, perhaps, their parents daily do the same ; or, if not their parents, many others who are esteemed as genteel and polite. MORAL INSTRUCTION. 135 / was only fooling him. This is no infrequent expression of youth, after having so fairly deceiv- ed a fellow, as to win his credence, and thereby, bring him to some unpleasant issue. But if the Scriptures are to be our guide, the fool made in this way, is the deceiver rather than the one who believed the lie and suffered by it. Much immo- rality comes of this practice; and every such fool-maker must, before long, feel the smartings of such folly. There is hardly a more pitiable object in society, than a man who has cut him- self off from all human confidence by an habitu- al abuse of language. With his own tongue he has branded his forehead as a liar, and the burn- ing shame will never heal over. Truthfulness is a corner stone in character, and if it be not firmly laid in youth, there will ever after be a weak spot in the foundation. There are many other evils which insensibly spring up as the offshoots of a depraved heart. You must not let them alone in childhood. How appropriate the injunc- tion of the Bible on this point. "Line upon line, precept upon precept." "These shalt thou 136 FAMILY TRAINING. teach diligently to thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sitest in thine house, and when thou risest up." The Spirit of God who revealed this passage, alone knows the full extent of its importance ; and no language could more forcibly convey to us the import of the work. Perhaps the exercise of no faculty presents greater obstacles to the culture of morals, than that of a perverted imagination. This is, as it were, the messenger faculty, and goes forth at the bidding of the will, or without command, and brings in from creation, or calls up from non- entity, objects of contemplation, When inno- cently indulged, it is one of the most efficient agents of human enjoyment. But, as the swift- est angel of light becomes the blackest fiend of darkness, when fallen, so the imagination, when perverted by unlawful indulgence, becomes a more perfect and constant tormenter, than any other faculty can. When the imagination is allowed to roam among unseemly and defiling objects, — when it brings them into the heart for the affections to MORAL INSTRUCTION. 137 caress and revel among, then the virtues of that heart begin to decline. They cannot live long under the influence of these impurities. And if this faculty be allowed to pursue its unchaste employment, it becomes itself morbid, and has little relish for anything but filth. Now it is un- fitted to be the minister of the virtues ; and they, one after another, become sickly and die of star- vation. Meanwhile, the more tolerable, and next the more loathsome vices begin to breed and gather strength from the nutriment offered. And, unless the progress be arrested, who can tell the mental and physical suffering which may ensue. Once, this imagination was a prime minister to an innocent gratification ; and now he is the will- ing slave to its tormenting inflictions. Look once more. On the drawing table of a chaste daughter, lies a book in three volumes ; or, it may be, in pamphlet form with yellow covers. The book has few attractions for an unsullied im- agination, and is, perhaps, commenced, to .lease a false friend. But when commenced , uncon- scious, though strong excitement carries the reader 10 138 FAMILY TRAINING. forward till the last page is turned; and then she tries to recollect her thoughts, " And nothing finds, but dreary emptiness." And yet her imagination has received a taint from which it will never recover. It has found a new element, and been poisoned by it. That poison creates a morbid relish for an additional supply. The additional supply infuses a new poison, until the almost raving mind is gratified with nothing real, and satisfied with nothing ficti- tious. Her imagination once chaste and leading forth the thoughts to the possession of an inno- cent enjoyment, now debased, shuts out from the mind the bright images of God's creation, and mainly feeds it with the very festerings of evil. Truly, the heavenly wisdom is profitable to di- rect every parent in the selection of books for his children. EARLY PIETY. 139 XYIII. EARLY PIETY. Some excellent parents appear to regard young children as incapable of permanent religious im- pressions; and, acting in full accordance with this view, impart very little direct religious in- struction during the early period of the child's life. And yet, the grace and providence of God are constantly producing facts to prove the con- trary. There are true and faithful witnesses, both inspired and uninspired, who can testify, that very young children do comprehend enough of God for all the purposes of true reverence and worship. They can know enough of their own destitution to feel the need of prayer ; enough of their desperate condition as it is by nature, to look to another for rescue. They can understand enough of the Savior, to exercise a living faith in Him. There is nothing in the Bible, and nothing in the manifestations of the child, which 140 FAMILY TRAINING. should lead any to regard him so purely an ani- mal, as really to have no available religious sensi- bilities j nor can we persuade ourselves, that the Savior regarded in any such light, the little chil- dren whom he took in his arms. To treat them, therefore, as not capable of receiving salvation by grace, until they have nearly or quite reached their " teens," is manifestly, violence done to God's plan, and great injustice to the essential rights which every child inherits by his birth in a christian community. If you delay personal efforts for the salvation of your child until reason has attained the matur- ity of incipient manhood, depravity, often, will have so matured the evil propensities and passions, as greatly to diminish the prospects of conversion. For, the religious sensibility, so far from com- mencing at this period, is often well nigh extin- guished, by an overgrowth of depraved inclina- tions; leaving scarcely enough of susceptible soil, even to lay the foundation of hope. I know there are parents who say, their children are not old enough to comprehend religious truth, when EARLY PIETY. 141 applied to their condition as sinners ; and yet, these same children have enough of comprehension, to pursue with profit, the studies of Latin, Greek and Algebra. And the parents would consider them slandered, if told they were incapable of understanding many other subjects, which appro- priately belong to maturer years. Still, they are waiting for a maturity of judgment, which may render profitable any direct and personal efforts for the child's conversion. Such would do well to consider, that, before this fancied period shall have arrived, the passions may have become a despot, and reason a captive ; wholly under the power of inordinate desire; when the most favor- able period for conviction and conversion shall have passed, if there be not increasing evidence, that the soul once susceptible, is going over to hardness of heart — to be given up to believe a lie, and consequently be lost. But a merciful God does not shut up any to such a course. The gospel teaches, that we labor and pray for early conversions ; and all who follow the divine precept, may hope for such results. 142 FAMILY TRAINING. To this end the child should be early taught that he is a sinner, and unfit for heaven until re- newed ; and his moral delinquencies should be so exposed to his comprehension, as to illustrate this fact. The need of divine help should be im- pressed upon his mind so early, that, in maturer years, he will not be able to remember when he did not feel this dependence, and heartily ac- knowledge it in prayer. This, indeed, will not be piety ; but, under the Spirit's influence, it will at least be the solemn conviction, that there is no safety, and no permanent source of comfort with- out piety j that there is no way to please God, but to love and obey Him. This abiding and unavoidable impression, will so whet the edge of conscience, that sins, even little sins, will grate harsh discord on the soul, and leave it no peace, till it is sought and found in Jesus. If parents will commence this work judicious- ly, and with a proper reliance on the needed helps, God will help them. He has formed and adjust- ed the faculties of the mind to be wrought upon and moulded in this way. The natural depen- EARLY PIETY. 143 dence which every little child feels upon his earthly parents, may easily be made a stepping- stone to those higher relations which he holds to his Father in heaven. Every case of reproof and discipline, for obstinacy and disobedience, may be turned into an impressive commentary upon God's displeasure of all sin, until the child shall feel that "sin is exceeding sinful." We are not, however, to look for, in a child, the deep convictions of a full-grown sinner. In- deed, other things being equal, he cannot have these; nor are we to anticipate, ordinarily, the strength, and clearness of view, which is often expressed, when one of mature age is renewed, and turns to God. We should be satisfied with a single ray at the commencement, provided we have evidence that it is so much of the true light dawning on the soul. The commencement of this new being, must, of course, be after the measure of a chili; but, if the germ, however delicate, be from the true grain of seed, it is the first putting forth of an infinite expansion. There is a rising light, which will never fade, but bright- en into perfect day. 144 FAMILY TRAINING. At this early stage, the confirmation of hope, is quite an object of secondary importance. Only cultivate the proper spirit, and keep the graces in lively exercise, and hope will take care of itself; it will come, as a natural consequence, in due time. The christian meekness of a little child, is one of the most charming exhibitions in the moral world. All which approaches to cant and formal- ism, and technicalities, disappears ; and the trans- parent simplicity of the soul glows forth uncheck- ed, and unrestrained by artificial incumbrances ; and it is all so evidently Christ dwelling in, and beaming from, an unsophisticated heart, that one feels in the presence of an influence, truly, not of earth, and in no way dependant on the stiff for- mulas of human device, to show its loveliness. It is the stream gushing from the rock, which has been opened by the rod of the Good Shepherd, — the stream, limpid and pure, and, as yet, unstain- ed by long contact with the base soil of a pollu- ted world. It has been the writer's privilege, to witness EARLY PIETY. 145 at least one such exhibition of youthful piety ; and though appearing in the artless thoughts and words of a little child, it was more instructive and richer than all the dogmas of the schools ; for it was God's own work, undressed by man ; like every other heaven-born virtue, "when una- dorned, adorned the most." XIX. EARLY PIETY :-^ITS LOVELINESS AND VALUE. It has been truly said that " christian is the highest style of man;" and the earlier this ele- ment becomes incorporated with the character, the more finished and perfect will this style of manhood be. The Scriptures abound in marked examples, illustrating the loveliness of early piety. Look at a single case. Young Abijah lived at a period when Israel were wading through the abysses of idolatry ; and irreligion was doubtless as popular as it could well be, with a people who 146 FAMILY TRAINING. had been formerly taught to believe in, and rev- erence Jehovah. And yet, when the youthful and pious Abijah died 3 all Israel mourned for him. All stupid and prejudiced as they were against everything of a serious character, they could not repress their respect and admiration for a consis- tently pious young man. When they laid him in the grave, they seemed to have felt that Israel had lost a jewel. The common sense of the people was blunted by almost everything defiling ; yet they recognised in him a young man of true worth. There was found in him some good thing toward the Lord his God; and they all mourned for him, because there is a savor of loveliness, there is a dignity of excellence in un- pretending, youthful piety, which challenges re- spect, even from the bad. When adorned with the meekness of humility, when guarded by cir- cumspection and redolent of benevolence, its charms are well nigh irresistible. The vain and irreligious throng will reject the principles, and some of them will sneer at the practice of a pious young man. But inwardly they will approve of EARLY PIETY. 147 a worth which themselves do not possess ; and, should he die young, they cannot withhold the tacit acknowledgement that they have lost a friend, though, while living, they may have treat- ed his friendship with unkindness. Youthful piety is not only more lovely, but other things being equal, it is far more valuable than that which commences at an advanced peri- od of life ; because it pre-occupies the susceptible soil of the heart, with its pure sentiments and af- fections. It appropriates this ground before the noxious seeds of actual transgression have so deeply taken root for their own support. Piety which commences late in life, often seems to do little more than keep, in tolerable check, the bad propensities which have been indulged and strengthened in previous years. In such cases, the latter half of life is often required to unlearn the faculties, and subdue the force of propensities which have acquired strength during the young and susceptible years of transgression. The aged convert is a christian; — his purposes are strong, and his efforts strenuous for a life of holi- 148 FAMILY TRAINING. ness ; and he duly estimates the value of divine grace, to render his efforts effectual. But the wind and tide of character have been so long setting in an opposite direction, and so deeply worn are the channels of habit, that, ordinarily, neither conscience nor grace will secure the amount of effort requisite to overcome and en- tirely reverse the motion at once. A change of purpose, and a change of moral affection, does not at once repair the dreadful ravages which a course of fictitious and vile reading has committed upon the imagination. The morbid faculty will have its unseemly images ; and the irresistible ex- citement which these produce, will prey upon the sensibilities often for a long time, despite of pur- pose to the contrary. The tastes long vitiated by unwholesome ailment, will undervalue, if they do not have feeble relish for the " sincere milk of the word." When, by divine grace, the confirmed sceptic turns to God, his confirmed habits of caviling are, in his mind, like one of those strong currents setting across the ship's path in the ocean, which EARLY PIETY. 149 throws the mariner into perplexity when he finds his vessel so far from her course, though sure that his principles of reckoning are true. I have seen a converted infidel thirsting for knowledge at the fount of truth, and drinking religious instruction with a keen relish ; yet, actually clogging up the pure stream which was flowing into his soul, by his petty cavils and small objections ; and all this from the force of previous habit. But when a child, or a youth, is converted, and turns to the proper cultivation of his heart, though the change is essentially the same, still there are not so many things added to nature by practice, to be resisted and overcome. There are fewer evils wrought in and confirmed by habit; and the soul when healed of its malady by the Great Physician, may grow into greater excellence and will exhibit a higher degree of symmetry, and possess greater value. In the youthful mind, sin has not blasted so many things which are lovely in native ckarar'rr; and this native loveliness, when early brought under the cultivation of grace, will exhibit 150 FAMILY TRAINING. charms, which, humanly speaking, never can be superinduced even by grace, after they have been once destroyed by sin. A native sweetness of temper, enriched by habitual submission to God, is a possession which a fiend might admire, though many excellent christians do not possess it. A native generosity, brought early under the train- ing of christian benevolence, makes the true phil- anthropist. But let these native qualities be first long trained under the influence of unsanctified affections ; — let the heart indulge suspicion, — let jealousy and hate corrode it,— -let an all-absorbing selfishness rule, until the sinews of a native gen- erosity, now reversed, have grown into the strength of a miser's arm, and become endowed with the tenacity of a miser's grasp, and though grace may change the principles and the purpose, and to some degree the practice, yet neither nature nor grace can make that heart what it might have been, by the early cultivation of supreme love to God, and genuine good will to men. "Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots ? Then may ye also do good that are ac- EARLY PIETY. 151 customed to do evil." This strongly figurative language does not, perhaps, express an absolute impossibility ; because, with God's help, all things are possible. But it does show the obstinate, and humanly speaking, the resistless power of early habit j and with the same force does it recom- mend early piety as the best and only means of securing the purest loveliness, and the highest excellence. Piety contains a priceless value for the young, because it is the only means which will keep them from falling under many of the temptations to which they are exposed. We can easily infer from the influence it had upon the youthful Abi- jah. Almost every moral light in his father's corrupt court was a treacherous one. The mo- tives held out as inducements to action, were such as would naturally prompt to supreme selfishness and pride. But this noble youth, planted on that lone rock , — implicit trust in God, stood firm amid the raging sea of evils. No doubt the billows of temptation often broke over him ; but, as his foundation was steadfast, the billows passed on ; 152 FAMILY TRAINING. and then the bright sunshine of divine favor was all the more cheering for this previous drenching in the flood of trial ; and so it will ever be where youthful piety is genuine and active. While he who is dazzled by the false lights of greatness, and who embarks upon life with the treacherous maxims of human invention for his guide, will be dashed either on the shoals of time or on the shores of eternity, and thrown up a wreck to perish, that other youth who early takes the Bi- ble for his guide, and a living faith for his anchor, will safely outride every storm; and in port, find his Father's house, with its mansions prepared for him. The fair-weather disciple will often flee before the least storm of opposition; nor be seen again in his professed character, until the danger of conflict is past. But he who truly loves his Master, and has pledged fidelity to his cause on the strength of divine help, will stand by that cause in storm, no less than sunshine, until he sees that very Master walking on the troubled elements to calm its surges, and give him peace. When youthful character is thus allied, all foes GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 153 are weak, and all opposition harmless ; the strength which is with the confiding christian youth, is greater than any can be against him. XX. GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. That deep anxiety and holy wrestling in prayer and labor, which should always be felt for the conversion of the young, is but the dictation of the Spirit who takes these precious interests of Christ and shows their importance to the christian parent. But if we would hear and obey all which the Spirit says unto the churches, we shall not omit our watching and wrestling, when evidence is gained that a child is converted from the error of his ways. So far from this, our anxiety will be rather increased than diminished. For it is not difficult to show that the chief revenue of glory to God, and of usefulness among men, re- sult from growth after conversion. And what is 11 154 FAMILY TRAINING. more, the gracious bestowment has really enhanc- ed the true value of the soul, and hence brought upon those entrusted with its training, increased responsibility. The introduction of grace to the heart has been fitly represented by a grain of seed j and guided by this representation, we know that of all things in the kingdom of nature which are susceptible of growth, their value depends mainly upon that growth j and doubtless the Great Teacher intended to show that the kingdom of grace would follow the same general order. The grain must be perfect in its kind, and every way adapted as a seed to accomplish the ultimate end of the designer; and yet, until ex- pansion commences, it neither is, nor can be, any- thing more than a seed. No space of time, how- ever long, can make it even a seedling, unless it grow during that time. So long as it remains a grain, it can perform none of the functions of a fruit-bearing tree. So our Great Teacher would seem to say, the simplest principles, in the fee- blest form of piety, may exist in a heart, and as GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 155 such indeed, reflect the wisdom and the benevo- lence of God ; but until these principles expand and strengthen, — until they acquire some degree of activity, so they may exert an influence over the individual, and through him, on others, they are like the grain of seed, possessing, indeed, the simplest form of vitality, but destitute of efficien- cy. Such piety may promise fruit hereafter; but before this promise can be redeemed, it must have some degree of expansion : it must be cultivated and exercised in ways and modes which are fitted to impart strength and activity. The infant may have in embryo all the ele- ments of the future man. But age, simply, can never make him a man. He must grow in all directions before he can be essentially more than an infant. What could a township of infants gf boys do, to fill the places in a community whose duties require the maturity of manhood? And how much more can the "babes in Christ" do for his kingdom ? When a soul is newly bom 3 there is a change which could result from a cause no less than Almighty power; and yet natural 156 FAMILY TRAINING. infancy is the type best fitted to represent this newly-created being. Conversion is first in the order of nature, while growth is not second in its relation to the kingdom of Christ. And yet, how many seem in a good degree satisfied for their children, when a meagre hope is gained that they have crossed the line which divides a state of moral death from spiritual life. As though to be saved, barely, with the loss of all which a faithful obedience would have secured, were abundantly satisfactory ; as though the low- est condition of security from positive infliction exhausted the practical value of Christ's king- dom ; as though the grain of seed had accom- plished the utmost of its destiny, when it has given evidence of the lowest form of life, though even that form is entirely out of sight, perfectly shut up within its small encasement; just as a christian hope often is in the soul. Alas ! the ways of Zion do mourn, because often a hope of conversion is made so nearly the sum total of value, and christian growth is comparatively thought so little of. GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 157 The apostle says to the young converts, who indulged hope under his ministry, Ye are babes in Christ ; and as such, of how many things is recent piety destitute ? And if the plan of the kingdom contained no provisions for subsequent growth, how destitute, and by consequence, how inefficient must it remain ! As a babe in Christ, how ignorant is the young convert, respecting the nature of the kingdom to which he has been introduced. The blessed Comforter, has, as yet, taken but a few of the things of Jesus, and shown them unto him. When once translated to the kingdom of light, the soul can say, Whereas, I was once blind, I now see ; though, in regard to many things, the young convert still sees men as trees walking. Surprising progress in the knowledge of God's Word has often been made, under the continued illuminations of the Spirit. To those who follow on to know the Lord, these truths have assumed a richness and value, which the growing soul can admire, though not able to describe. New and exalting views of Christ break upon the mind of 158 FAMILY TRAINING. the humble learner at his feet ; and. this too, after many years of watchfulness, of study, and of contemplation. What advancing ideas of duty often lead on the man, both to a more compre- hensive system of christian action, and to deeper conflicts with self. As a babe in Christ, the young convert is feeble as well as ignorant, — -feeble in faith, feeble in pa- tience ; and it enters into the plan of his new being, that he grow stronger by the use of proper means. To the young convert it does not appear what he may be, even in this life. There is a degree of spiritual vigor, of fortitude and of per- severance, which he knows not of, except as it is revealed to him in the lives of others, and in the promises of God. The crown in prospect draws nearer, and discovers a richer value, as the soldier advances in his warfare, and becomes more suc- cessful in his contests with the lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eye and the pride of life. But if there be no warfare, there surely can be no achievement ; and the virtues do not strengthen without exercise. We cannot avoid the painful GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 159 conviction that the terms conflict and warfare, so familiar and practical with the sacramental host in all ages, are becoming obsolete in these days of a more fashionable piety. With too many, there is too much reason to fear that personal safety is the great idea in religion; and hence, too often a hope of pardon and a christian profes- sion are the chief articles of value. With such, the leading argument in support of any course to which inclination leads, is, "I do not see any hurt in it." These seem to live in anticipation that death will so neutralize the distinctions, and equalize the possessions of the saints, that all will be set upon an equal footing of rewards and fa- cilities in the future world. As though the slug- gard might reap as plentiful a harvest, as the dili- gent and persevering husbandman ; as though the veriest drone in our Master's vineyard might ac- quire possessions, which he was too indolent to desire ; as though the professing christian, who is never known as such, except at the communion table, might divide equally with the world in its avarice and follies; and to all appearance, live in 160 FAMILY TRAINING. Satan's kingdom as a loyal subject, till death shall qualify him for the rewards of the faithful. But if such can be saved, even as by fire, yet the Master calls for a different class of servants in the work of redeeming this lost world ; and who can tell the prospective difference between a shriv- elled piety, choked round with unlawful cares and deceitful riches, scorched to the extreme of dryness, by the heat of divers lusts and posses- sions ; who can tell the difference between this, and a piety which grasps the immutable throne with its faith, and embraces a world and its love and obedience ? Which class of piety will the christian parent labor to secure in his child, whose young heart is now giving the first evidences of renewal ? JUVENILE BEADING. 161 XXL JUVENILE READING. The leading sources of knowledge to which a child has access, are observation, experience, oral instruction, and reading. The three first have been indirectly touched upon at various points, in the preceding numbers of this series. The influ- ence of reading should by no means be overlooked in the training of a child for usefulness and hap- piness. A proper taste for reading should be ear- ly cultivated. Such a taste affords employment for many a half hour, which would otherwise be tedious to the child, and troublesome to the parent. Hardly anything is more agreeable than the sight of a little boy or girl, seated in a little chair, and read- ing aloud his new book. Every faculty is fully awake at the novel business of combining letters into words, giving the words articulate sounds, and from these sounds, receiving new ideas. How gratifying this to the fond mother, as she 162 FAMILY TRAINING. plies her busy care, and turns occasionally to help her darling over a hard word, or explain a senti- ment which his young ideas can hardly grasp. How different this from another scene, where no effort is made to cultivate this early taste; but where the children, it may be, are pulling each other's hair, and are in almost any other kind of mischief; to regulate which, requires most of the mother's time, when through much vexation and weariness, she can only keep the rising excesses in tolerable check. A taste for reading, when properly directed, is a healthful source of amusement. Not that it can supply all which a child needs in this depart- ment ; yet it will do much in this way, and that too, in the best manner. The mind is so consti- tuted, that when properly trained, it takes the highest pleasure in its own exercise ; and this fact holds quite as true of children, as of adults. I have eeen the bright boy, seated with his new year's gift, a nice, clean book, suited to his years ; I have marked his features, radiant with the pleas- ure rising from his young heart, at the reception JUVENILE READING. 163 of new ideas from the printed page ; when, ever and anon, he would call out, " Mother, do just hear this : " and then read on with the double sat- isfaction, that he is both receiving and giving pleasure. Such a youthful taste is of great value as a source of amusement. When properly directed, such a taste is an equal source of improvement. Ideas from the printed page, cultivate the power of abstraction, and thus help preserve a just balance between sense and reason. The book of nature is fully open to the senses, where the eye rests on a bril- liant surface, and the thoughts often penetrate no further. The book of letters is open more direct- ly to the meditative faculties; and hence, ideas received in this form, though not so striking at first, often make a much more lasting impression upon the thoughts, and through these upon the character. All who have attentively studied the thoughts and modes of little children, will have noticed that the juvenile reader is far better qual- ified to improve from observation, than another youth of equal capacity who is not a reader. To 164 FAMILY TRAINING. the juvenile reader, the facts and phenomena of nature are proofs and illustrations of the principles and statements he has met with in his reading j and the discovery of coincidence between the facts of creation and the teaching of books, af- fords an additional pleasure and profit, which the merely sight-gazer can never experience. This statement is not simply a theory ; for the writer has lively proof to the contrary, — proof drawn not from the figments of the imagination, but from the memory of facts. It is but living some delightful portions of the past over again, to recal the rides and rambles with a little boy, who would often say, " Father, this is just what it says in the book you gave me," as some object of nature, or some work of art, might attract especial attention, as we passed along. And when no visible object attracts, how pleasing to see him fall back upon the simple resources gathered from his little books, from which he has treasured up a little world of ideas ; and into this, when he does not live through the senses without, he will invite you, by a thou- sand questions, which he will propound with the JUVENILE READING. 165 most artless simplicity j and yet they are questions requiring answers which, perhaps you never thought of before, and upon some of them you must think long, before you can give a reply which will satisfy yourself. Juvenile reading should be so directed, that its character and quality will keep pace with the ad- vancing development of the child's capacities. No one, perhaps, will doubt but the first books of juvenile literature to be placed in the hands of a child, should be the most simple and easy, both in the choice of words and the structure of sen- tences, as well as' in the style of thought. But from these primary forms, there should be some direct progress. If the character of the reading should never be in the advance of the child's ca- pacity, it should always follow closely in the rear. But the prevailing fault is, that the child not only commences, but too often continues the smallest kind of reading, during quite too long a period. The mind is so long retained on what should be merely the beginning, that the taste and mental habits become fixed in their confined 166 FAMILY TRAINING. condition, and there is no relish for advance ; or, if the inherent force actually breaks over, the sub- sequent advance is much Jess than it otherwise would have been ; it must, from necessity, be of a diminished measure and rate. As a result of this faulty course, a great loss of discipline is experienced. Nor is this all ; for if the current reading is in books which are de- cidedly below the mental capacity, the effect on the intellect is actually dissipating j and the mind thus treated for a length of time, will certainly come to reluctate against the reception of more substantial aliment. Many a child by reading simple books until, to him, they should have ap- peared relatively silly, has in early life, circum- scribed his powers within a narrow circle which they never broke through in after life. If a taste for reading continues with such through life, it settles down upon the story-telling kind — a class which conveys no information and imparts no mental strength. In these instances there is no relish for sober, matter-of-fact history, and very little for biography, unless it is so strongly spiced JUVENILE READING. 167 with extravagance as to render the facts improba- ble ; and usually in these cases, there is as little capacity to improve from solid reading, as there is disposition to engage in it. The whole object of such reading is merely pastime ; and instead of laying a tax upon mental effort, it must be of such a character as to pay a tribute to sloth, — to help on the easy process without effort. Another sore evil resulting from this state of things is, that it creates a strong disrelish for a 'persevering and accurate course of study. There is too great a disparity between the substance and texture of a cob-web fairy tale, or a story-telling book, and the severer studies of the school-room, to allow one to be compatible with the other in the same mind. I am sure there is hardly a foe so formidable to mental progress as continuous, light-reading. It renders the conceptive faculties obtuse by giving them nothing to do ; it annihil- ates the power of concentration, by never requir- ing a focus of thought, and often creates a mor- bid taste, which repudiates everything that is not absolutely worthless. 168 FAMILY TRAINING. This superficial propensity so thoroughly per- vades the mind, that there comes to be a fixed in- ability to study or reading, thoroughly, should there subsequently be a disposition. Apply such a mind to the perusal of sober history, and a vol- ume of Rollin will be dispatched perhaps in two hours, and Prescott's Mexico be run over in about three evenings ; and yet, the mind which profes- ses to have gorged so much valuable literature in so short a time, will be found as void of real val- ue, as an empty flour barrel is of bread stuff. Hardly anything in my experience of training youth, has been more painful than my ineffectual efforts with this mental dissipation. Some parents have introduced their sons, with a prefatory no- tice that they were, probably, smart boys, because very fond of reading. But in these days, every experienced teacher will receive this notice as doubtful evidence, until he knows how the lad reads, and what he has read. The child should advance in the character of his reading, as he does in his physical growth, and mental progress. He should no more be allowed JUVENILE READING. 169 to tarry in the alphabet of literature, than in the alphabet of letters. He may, very profitably commence with the Rollo Books. But these, and books like these, he must finish while the dew of early youth is yet upon him. He must pas? to those excellent abridgements of history by the same author, as a transition to more extended and stately works ; else he will grow up to his statu r< of manhood ; and mentally, be only a Little Jons: on a Farm. And here, I may be allowed to say that, of all merely secular reading, authentic and chastely written history and impartial biographv are probably the most improving. These approac I nearer to God's own book, than any other. Poi though not inspired, they are, in one sense, trtu revelations of the works and ways of the grea Author and Governor of all. They, more fu than any other uninspired book, exhibit His • signs and agency among the nations, and \\ providence over individuals. Cultivate in the family circle, a taste for re ing history, as early as practicable : let it be in connection with the study of geography, the 12 170 FAMILY TRAINING. your children may learn to live in all ages, and, in a sense, to feel at home in all places. Then will their views of men and things become ex- pansive and noble. Thought and feeling will not be graduated on the supposition, that the vis- ual line which girds a native home, is the border of the world. And as the columns of our sub- stantial periodicals are, to passing events, what faithful history is to the past, every young person will enlarge and enrich his own individuality, if he acquires the taste and tact of reading the pass- ing world through the current journals. He need not read everything in every paper; he must not read many things in many papers, unless he in- tends to lose sight of his object, and lose him- self, he knows not where ; because many things in many papers, are the mere flood-wood lodged in the medium, through which the current of news brings to us the real world as it is. Now, to bathe in the stream, and grow strong by imbibing its waters, without getting injured by the flood- wood, is an exercise which secures mental disci- pline, while it brings profitable knowledge. A JUVENILE READING. 171 youth may learn to keep " posted up" on the world's great movements, without any injury to his school-room employments. I know it to be a fact, because I have seen it tried to a most grati- fying extent j and this ledger, so made out, will multiply himself many fold. The parent who aims at such a result, will of course reject from his table, the whole tribe of romance, and fun pedlars. I invariably drive all these from my dwelling, as the patriarch David would chase a liar from his sight. A company of youth who are accustomed to read the real world as it passes, will have topics of conversation for their social gatherings, better than the village gossip, or the popular scandal. The young christian, who is earnest for a life of usefulness, will read the daily journal with the same motives, though not with the same reverence, that he does his Bible. For he desires to know, both what God and man are now doing in the great drama which is acting upon this footstool, which is deciding the destiny of nations for time, and the condition of individuals for eternity, We all desire that our 172 FAMILY TRAINING. children would read these facts which make up the world's history, with christian eyes, though they may not, as yet, have pious hearts. Youthful reading should be so directed, as to prevent an undue excitement of the imagination. This faculty, as all may know, has no need of stimulants, at this period of life, since its natural tendency is to excess ; and this natural tendency may be easily stimulated to a state of morbid and ruinous action. It would be out of place here, to descant upon the dreadful ravages produced by this employment. And yet, when the moral at- mosphere is saturated with this pestilent influence, every one who has the oversight of the youthful mind has need of caution. The world is surely full enough of human nature, and that too, in forms suited to excite sufficient pathos, so as not to require the mock imitations of which the mor- bid brains of novel writers are so prolific. But if they will continue to bring forth this dire progeny } let those only read, who know no other aim in life, than to kill time, waste existence, and ruin their souls. Let these, if they must, cultivate a JUVENILE READING. 173 philanthropy which will exhaust itself in weep- ing over the misfortunes of a drowning fly ; let them in their day dreams, suffer martyrdom in rescuing some visionary lover from a fatal catas- trophe; but let those who would live for God and mankind, and enjoy the luxury of true be- nevolence, cultivate sympathies more in union with Him who went about doing good. To this end, let the moral heroes of the Bible, and the truly good and great men of other times, be pre- sented as the leading models of the child ; so his tears of compassion may flow where real suffer- ing is to be relieved ; and his ardor, should it rise even to consuming, — let it consume a sacrafice which will be well pleasing to God. 174 FAMILY TRAINING xxn. YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. The mind and body both require relaxation. The bow that is never unstrung, whether of wood or steel, loses its elasticity. Some among the greatest of the sons of men, have owed their suc- cess, in a degree at least, to this practice. Among these may be classed the late lamented Daniel Webster. His agricultural and rural pastimes, im- parted a mental tone which secured some of his most masterly efforts. But relaxation, simply, is not always sufficient. Diversion must sometimes be added to relaxation. The bow long bent, must even be bent in the opposite direction, in order to recover its full power ; and the mind has need, not simply to be unstrung from a severe and continued effort; it must be entirely taken off and diverted, and if the physical and mental pow- ers can recover their highest elasticity in no other way, amusements, within the limits of safety, be- come lawful and expedient. The right kind of YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 175 amusements are those which will best accomplish the objects, and do no injury, either to body or mind. They must afford pleasure, else they will not relax sufficiently; if they are too exciting, they will spend upon the very energies they are intended to invigorate. It may then be well to inquire, 1. How far it is economical to carry a system of amusements, considered as an invigorating stimulant. They are evidently economical, so far as they will increase the powers of body and mind, for useful activity, provided they do not weaken the relish for this activity, in its appropriate season. To the youthful student, a degree of it seems as important as his study : because it is essential to his greatest success. It may be that a wise teacher, will not often insist upon play, because coercion in this matter will neutralize the element most useful in relaxation ; and yet, if his plans do not essentially incorporate more or less of it, he has at least, an obscure title to the attribute of wisdom. 176 FAMILY TRAINING. Within safe limits, a child must often be left as free as the mountain air j let him forget for the hour, that books were ever made, or that tasks were ever thought of. Let him in his young glee effervesce and throw off, until every pore of interest is fully open, and every secretion of childish enterprise is freely flowing, and the whole being is in a pleasurable glow. There is a bless- ing in this, when the indulgence, is indirectly, in view of the right object ; and does not itself become the main end ; but it is never economical to go so far in amusements, that the extent, at whatever distance, only creates an increased crav- ing for advance ; since that amount is already de- feating lawful ends of amusement. When one iegree of recreation clamors more loudly for two, md two are more imperious in demanding four, ts relation to healthful utility is destroyed. It becomes itself a leading object j and as such, it 'an never satisfy itself; for it is constantly crea- ting a demand beyond the utmost ability to supply. 2. Amusements evidently become immoral in YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 177 their tendency, when they create a permanent dis- relish for the sober and useful duties of life. No body and soul can long be kept together in harmonious union, by following amusements as a leading employment. Utility in some form is the end for which every human being was made ; all the faculties and powers, until perverted, are adapted to give pleasure in the prosecution of this object ; and anything which creates a disrel- ish for useful pursuits, mars the workmanship of God and contradicts his will. 3. When amusements run so nearly parallel to the open forms of vice, that the transition to positive wickedness, is natural and imperceptible they become immoral in their tendency. Card-playing, simply for amusement, may be in itself, as harmless as any other game of skill ; and yet its affinities with positive gambling, and the kindred vices, are so close, that " touch not, handle not," seems to be the only safe injunction. When, a few years since, eighty-four young men, and many of them from respectable families, were taken from a gambling nest, and marched through 178 FAMILY TRAINING. the streets of New England's metropolis, in irons, it is more than possible that many of them took their first lessons in this art of destruction, at games of whist around their father's table. Inordinate pleasure rarely warns the devotee of her legitimate end ; but those who are made re- sponsible for the conduct of others, should be slow to make a beginning, which so often ends in misery. Is not this recreation too near the open jaws of temptation, for the safe indulgence of any child. So powerful are the laws of association, that the things handled in innocent amusement, have often conducted the agent in a natural course, to scenes which the daylight would blush to behold. That amusement which may offer no tempta- tion to a parent in his riper years, and maturer judgment, may completely overpower the child, whose propensities are ardent, and whose resis- tance is feeble. Dancing is a recreation whose movements are professedly designed to secure a healthful exercise, and promote ease and elegance ; and if the nat- YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 179 ural and established tendencies never went beyond these proper objects, it might be perfectly safe to indulge in the recreation. But who does not know that the tendencies of social dancing lead directly on to the exposures of the ball-room, late hours, and the night debauch? Not that every one reaches the extreme stage, not that a majority ever will be ruined ; and yet every one who commences is liable to exceed the bounds of propriety ; and many will rush over the brink of ruin. The transition from one stage to another, is so natural and easy, that there is no definite stopping place between the commencement and the end. The objection is not that this is hurt- ful in itself; and yet there are so many substitutes which are safer, that this will most safely be dis- pensed with. More than one young man. in ruins, has quoted the improper dress and the indecent movement of the ball-room, as the primal cause of all his woe. And this allows of the assertion that all amuse- ments which directly or indirectly suggest improp- er thoughts, are immoral. There are plays and 180 FAMILY TRAINING. scenes in excessive social life, which involve a practice of fondling and embracing, whose influ- ence upon the passions, is directly inflammatory, as the experience of many young persons will confirm. In the language of the late Dr. Wood- ward, these should be discountenanced and aban- doned. 4. When any form of amusement contradicts the plain instructions of the Bible, it is positively sinful ; and no reasons can justify it. The Author of the Bible, is also the author of the human powers ; and there is no need for a collision between the uses of the latter, and the teachings of the former. If you are obliged to walk over the Scriptures, or set aside any passage of them, in order to reach the indulgence afforded in a given amusement, you are surely in the wrong. If your excuse is, that you do not see any harm in the practice of that which the Scriptures forbid, your fault, then surely is, that you have blinded your eyes, or that you will not come to the light of truth, "lest your deeds should be reproved." YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 181 Some, indeed, have suggested, that it is not worth while, to let the adversary have all the good things ; but there is no danger of this. He does not want them ail ; and there are many he could not use, if he had them : but, when he gets an engine, or a train, so adapted to his purposes, that nearly all who volunteer to work it, are in- jured, and many of them destroyed; it is far bet- ter that the lovers of moral virtue let it alone, and safer, that christian teachers do not advise to it. Surely there is a better way to get the advantage of the " father of lies ;" let the family instructors so cultivate the minds and hearts of the rising generation, that they will have no relish for divi- ding spoils with him. I hardly have need to notice the danger arising from the theatre ; since very few who patronize this wide gate and broad way " to the pit," will ever notice this humble article; and of these, fewer still, will probably be influenced, by any- thing 1 may say on the subject, I have heard the fable of a young lady, who frequented the play-house, till finally, she was ru- 182 FAMILY TRAINING. ined. When her friends thought hardly, that so fair a flower should he so withered by the destroy- er, the Arch Fiend replied, that he found her on his own ground j — he had not sought her beyond his appropriate limits, and, therefore she was his lawful prey ; — none had a right to complain ; and if there can be a truly prayerful father and moth- er, who will lead their children thus deliberately into temptation, they have no right to anticipate an answer to their prayers for their safety. This palpable transgression of the divine law, forfeits the protection of the Law-giver. Those amusements are sinful, which lead to the neglect of christian duty. The main plea for indulgence in them, by adults, is, that they furnish the mind and body for the better discharge of duty, and so far as this extends, it is a valid reason j and yet none can be proper for this reason, which disqualify, for the most important of all duties. 5. How far are profitless amusements need- ful? I refer to those which yield no profit, except YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 183 merely to recreate : and the answer to this ques- tion, I am aware, will seem to depend very much on habit and education. Those who are early educated to regard amusements as the main-spring of life, will early come to pay an exorbitant tax for the working of this engine. A repetition of an inordinate indulgence, grows into a habit, and this habit confirms an artificial law, whose de- mands will be increasingly imperious. Where the structure of society is so artificial that the main pursuit of life is pleasure, amusement often becomes like the two daughters of the horse-leech, "crying give, give;" and yet there can never be enough. These artificial desires of the mind, fol- low the same law as the morbid appetites of the body. Once allow the propensities to play truant beyond the limits which the Creator has set to their healthful recreation, and they will never af- ter, be satisfied within bounds ; and no circum- ference beyond, is quite far enough ; when once that limit is reached. Nothing will quite satisfy, but a little more than the present amount. This increasing demand, however, is no reason why it 1 84 FAMILY TRAINING. should be gratified, any more than that the drams of the inebriate should be doubled and trebled, to satiate his burning thirst. The increase of fuel, only increases the intensity of the flame ; and so it is often with the advancing stages of amuse- ment, when they have surpassed the limits of a healthful influence. Under a more quiet and natural mode of train- ing, change of useful employment is often a salu- tary recreation. " Variety is the spice of life;" and the varied forms of useful employment will yield much of this spice in stimulating the pow- ers for useful activity. All the faculties of body and mind, afford a direct and decided pleasure by their own exercise ; and, ordinarily, this pleasure is increased, in proportion as the exercise is ac- complishing something useful. There is given to most minds a bias for utility; and this natural stimulus will go far to supersede the need of arti- ficial. This healthful pleasure, may be far ex- tended into the domain of usefulness, with de- signed recreation. The element of direct value, will operate as a life-preserver, to prevent the YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 185 character from sinking in the boiling flood of a measureless frivolity. Sweet home may be fitted up with many things that will amuse ; and at the same time instruct. There, around the family hearth-stone, parents may very lawfully, and du- tifully, engage in many little games and sports with their children ; and, by stopping at the right stage, early teach them to be moderate, and satis- fied within due bounds. A prevailing error with parents is this; because a moderate indulgence seems to make the child happy in one degree, the inference is that an increase of indulgence will enhance the enjoyment in the same propor- tion j whereas in truth, restraint is the secret which gives to moderate indulgence its power to afford pleasure; but if there is too much indulgence, this secret main-spring loses its elasticity, and in- dulgence, becoming disproportionate, creates a bur- den, instead of lightening one. Children have ordinarily more correct ideas, on many other subjects, than of what makes them truly happy. They think it is the indulgence, whereas it is the restraint which prepares them to 13 186 FAMILY TRAINING. enjoy license; and could they have their own way, often would they annihilate their pleasure by using up the sources of it. The volatile, the pleasure-seeking French, are often cited as worthy models for the American people, in the art of social enjoyment ; but with all due deference to the French character in other respects, it is not wisdom to copy them in this ; for with all their glee and gaiety and fun, there is not so much social and personal wretchedness in any other nation, possessing the refinements of civiliz- ation ; and it is this very practice, which is recom- mended for our imitation, that makes them so. Facts will fully show, that no where is there so much suicide ; — so many tired of life and ready to throw it away, before their days are half expended. Multitudes close up the courses of time, and become their own executioners, because existence here, is not considered worth having; and really it is not, as many of them spend it ; and yet they are set forth as models of the way to enjoy life. What numbers exhaust themselves in a grand frolic; and wind up, by leaping from YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 187 the sunny shores of time, into the dark ocean of eternity. This is unnatural j and will rarely be perpetrated, until great and repeated violence has been done to the elements of social character. But the simple truth is, that violence is done, and often repeated upon the social elements. Their whole system of high pressure spreeing, is but an accelerated series of violence ; and this is an adequate and evident cause of the appaling re- sults ; and yet multitudes of the American people are zealously writing out the frivolous copy which France is setting them ; and that too, with fair prospects of the same dismal issue. In regard to this recommended imitation, we can only say, let those who will, study and prac- tice the art of French happiness ; though many a sorrowful experience, will at last find that bitter as wormwood, which was enchantingly sweet to the taste ; but let such as prefer the precepts which recommend the substantial employments of real life, hold fast the form of sound words, on this subject ; then may they hope to enjoy the fruits of a correct practice. 188 FAMILY TRAINING. XXIII. JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. Benevolence is good will to others. Benefi- cence is the development of good will in the prac- tice of good deeds. I. This subject is eminently practical. It is enjoined in the Scriptures, that we do good unto all men as we have opportunity. Our Lord him- self directs all to seek first the kingdom of heav- en and its righteousness ; and a leading trait in the subjects of this kingdom, is beneficence. He who came to set up this kingdom, pleased not himself; and during his ministry, never remitted his self-denial for the welfare of others. What He did as our example, he would have all men do after their measure. It is certain that we can secure no better earthly portion for our children, than the luxury of doing good. We are engaged in a truly be- nevolent work, while we labor to install them earlv in this possession. If early initiated, they JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 189 will become better subjects of the kingdom when fully adopted. They will lay up a better foun- dation for themselves against the time to come ; and, as it were, lay a firmer hold on eternal life. God has furnished ample means for the early cul- ture of beneficence. He has endowed the young heart with susceptibilities to care for, and relieve the distressed, and help the destitute. Few are destitute of these aids to well doing, until de- prived of them by abuse. The teachings of Christ show clearly, how full the world is of ob- jects suited to call these feelings into activity. "The poor," He says, we always have with us; and we may do them good whenever we will. There is no want of subjects ; and we are taught to look for them, even among those of for- eign nations, and different religions. This natur- al sympathy, which lays a foundation for the cul- ture of beneficence, needs attention in the germ ; lest the over-growth of selfishness, turn the melting heart to stone. Let it have real work to do. Proper exercise will strengthen and mature it. Repetition will mature a habit; and habit 190 FAMILY TRAINING. will more abundantly bless both him that does the good, and him that receives the fruit of the well doing. This virtue, if properly cultivated, and in due season, will open a source of the pur- est pleasure ; and it does not simply constitute its own reward, but affords protection and safety, for the future, where, otherwise, the conduct might run into many evils, and leave the charac- ter to suffer beyond recovery. The child who prefers to part with his quarter, for the relief of suffering, rather than spend it for confectionery, has the same amount of money left. In addition, he has secured a positive bles- sing for a fellow creature ; and perhaps has effect- ually closed the door of temptation to a leading source of dissipation. Juvenile beneficence is em- inently a practical virtue. II. It is also a virtue of superlative importance. 1. It is important to the child in the forming years of life ; and for this reason, the parent should give it an early and careful attention. We must trace the line, where we would have the future channel, while the current of propensity is feeble* JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 191 and easily directed. If we neglect to do this, the wayward tendencies will cut one for themselves, in any direction, but the right one. The little rill upon the mountain top, can be turned with the foot j while the leaping, foaming torrent, far adown the steep, little heeds the restraint of any barrier to its force ; and yet, it is only the same rill in progress. If turned upon the mountain top, it may be directed to much useful service. If left to its own course, it may spend its useless violence; carry no blessing in its course, and leave only devastation behind it. So the early culture of beneficence, may alter the whole future of the child's being. Educate him to do good at the expense of self denial, and the whole current of his thoughts, desires and actions, will flow in a channel directly the opposite of the one, cut by consuming everything upon his selfishness; — as opposite as life is from death, — as ultimate happi- ness is from ultimate misery. 2. Youthful beneficence is of prime impor- tance, to the common welfare of society. As a social ingredient where selfishness super^ 192 FAMILY TRAINING. abounds, it will make many a rough place in the journey of life smoother; it will erect many an arbor along the hill sides of difficulty, in which the worn and weary will refresh themselves, and bless the providence which reared their comforts. The influence of a warm young heart, through the deeds of willing hands, will often reduce the friction, and prevent the harsh grating of more rigid souls. Surely the milk of human kind- ness, when reduced to practice, produces the very cream of life; and many more would yield it, if parents would look after this vital interest in season. 3. The Christian enterprise needs all the be- neficence which the most effectual training can secure. Christians have it in charge, to teach all nations the principles and the practice of the Gospel ; a work which is to empty every heathen temple, — demolish every idol, — do away all oppressions, and every where transform the lion of depravity, to the lamb of love. This commission, sealed with the divine promise, "Lo I am with you JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 193 always," is to be executed by agents of carnal propensities, and human training ; and how can a ministry, fully competent to such a work, ever be secured, until directly or indirectly, the young are trained to it, from early childhood? until, like Timothy, from a child, they are taught the prin- ciples and the practice of doing good on the Gos- pel plan? The Bible contains illustrious exam- ples of men, who were set apart for divine service and consecrated from birth ; but as we are not to look for this, though living, if possible in an age of larger enterprise, parents are to do their utmost, to commence as early as possible. Other things being equal, the truest heroes in the sacramental host, will be those who drink in the requisite spirit from parental lips, almost as soon as they draw physical nourishment from those who bear them. But on this point, the children of this world are wiser in their generation, than the pro- fessed children of light ; and the heathen them- selves may instruct many in the Christian church. We are told that the mothers in the South Sea Islands, even before the birth of their children, 194 FAMILY TRAINING. go to the temples with the requisite offerings where the priest performs the ceremony of infus- ing the spirit of the god into the child. After its birth, the same rite is repeated. They also thrust gravel stones down the throats of their little ones, to give them hard hearts, and make them daunt- less warriors. Would that christian parents, un- der the surer guide of Revelation, were fully in earnest that their children should be filled with the Spirit which will make their stony hearts soft with love to Christ, and their hands active in some department of His cause. 4. Humanly speaking, an early training is the only way to meet the emergencies of Christ's king- dom ; for, if all the world were nominally Chris- tian, and all of these exhibited a beneficence equal to the average in the present Church, we should not then witness the Millenium, foretold in the Scrip- tures ; for in too many cases, the clutching pro- pensities of the wolf, would hardly coalesce with the defenceless nature of the kid ; the lamb could not lie down with the lion, without sometimes feeling a serious grip from his rapacious paw. s JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 195 As things now are. large numbers become the hopeful children of God so late in life, that in practice, divine Grace hardly gains the ascendant over the long cherished habits of selfishness ; and hence, the present tone of piety is not profound enough, were it universally diffused. In far too many cases, its entire strength is required to main- tain the outward form ; so it leaves nothing to ad- vance upon the work beyond a personal interest. What, though the soul of the miser be transformed in middle life, he will not readily relinquish his clutch upon the idol possessions, which he has held so long and lovingly. God does not at once, so entirely reverse the force of his nature, as to make giving, solely for the good of others, free and easy. No ; he must first unshakle all his for- mer habits, — unnerve his long cherished propensi- ties, and go back to the simplicity of a little child, before he can really commence the great work of his new life. How much better for him and the world, had he commenced, when a little child, and grown up directly to the full stature of a be- 196 FAMILY TRAINING. neficent man ! Then all would have been com- paratively natural and easy. III. Some of the means for cultivating juve- nile beneficence are evident. 1. It is not difficult to teach an ordinary child that all he receives comes from God ; — that home and friends, and light and food and breath, are as really the gifts of his beneficence, as though he were disposing the gifts with a visible hand. Only impress intelligently and forcibly on the young mind, " Freely ye have received," and you have most surely wakened some natural sense of obligation to give freely, from that which has been gratuitously bestowed. But if this young suscep- tibility is allowed to callous over, uuder the re- peated practice of undisturbed selfishness, Jeho- vah may exhaust himself in giving; and yet create no sense of obligation, to" give, in return. The soul that has long grown selfish by practice, may become like the bottomless reservoir, which though it receive the universe as favor, will return nothing as gratitude. Therefore JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 197 2. Commence early. The Hindoo learns his little son to pull on the rope which moves the car of Juggernaut, while his strength is feeble ; and so he comes to "pull with a will" at mature age. Are you waiting for your child to become a de- cided Christian, before you commence the culti- vation of this virtue? Then you may delay till you are removed from your stewardship; and your child is sealed for perdition. But if Infinite Mercy should at length snatch him as a brand from the burning, it may not be until so late a period, that the remainder of life will be required to overcome the evils already established; — so, by the time the instrument is fitted for use, it is falling to decay. The child who possesses a moral and rational nature, has all the elements, with which to com- mence the culture of beneficence; and such a commencement may forestall a thousand dangers which threaten the welfare of the child. It will render the subject vastly more hopeful as the fu- ture disciple of Christ. 3. The cultivation of beneficence, must be a 198 FAMILY TRAINING. leading object in the education of the child. And yet who can believe such a sentiment, if the cur- rent practice, even of the Church, is taken as the true standard ? The salvation of the soul, is to be sought, as much for the good it can do, as for the safety it will secure by renewal ; and perhaps even more ; for what is a soul really worth even after it is regenerated, if it can do nothing for Him who has redeemed it ? and how few think any thing as much of the service the renewed soul can render to Christ, as they do of the personal safe- ty it will obtain. Early piety often accomplishes very little, because it is not set to work in the Master's service. The single pound which grace originally gives, is not expected to gain five ; or even two ; but to be hid up in a napkin to enter heaven with ! Says a living writer, " If the con- duct of parents, is a key to their feelings, the most, even of those desiring the salvation of their children, make their temporal welfare the first ob- ject, the salvation of their souls the secondary, while the object of fitting them for eminent use- fulness, is sunk almost out of sight. In selecting JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 199 their places of education, their trades and profes- sions, parents usually regard chiefly, if not solely, the temporal welfare of their children. Not only the child's usefulness and his conversion, but even his moral character is made secondary to the re- gard to worldly advantage. The maxims on which parents educate their children, are the max- ims of the world; whatever their precepts, they insensibly accustom them to be influenced prima- rily by a regard to worldly acquisitions, to worldly honor and popularity. Truth compels the declar- ation in regard to the majority." If this is not first in their avowal, " it is first in their thoughts and first in their plans. Truth equally demands the declaration, that he who educates his ehild on these principles, is recreant to his Maker, — false to his trust, faithless to his child, regardless of his vows, and his duty to the world." This is strong language; and yet who will say it is stronger than facts and the truth will sustain ? 4. If parents would establish their children in this virtue, they must set the example. Nothing will profit more by a living illustration, than this 200 FAMILY TRAINING. department of character. So long as the law of covetousness blinds our own eyes, we cannot see clearly to pull out the growing mote of selfishness from the eyes of our children. Precept, most of all in this direction, must have bright reflectors of the living grace ; — it must have impressive exam- ples of the excellence of doing good, or it will not guide the young mind into a practice of the truth. He who cannot show in his own experi- ence, that " It is more blessed to give than to re- ceive," will put his young learners on their guard against the practice. Only let it be seen that you hold on as long as you can, — that you part with a sigh, when argument and decency fail to sus- tain you, and you will effectually scare the ten- der feelings of your little ones, back into the deep recesses of their native selfishness. Surely God loveth a cheerful giver ; the world hath full need of such ; and there might be many more of these, if parents would be more careful to have their example confirm the sincerity of their precepts. 3477 <4\ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 020 975 984 6 ■BO— ■ isibhh IHHH 8HH 1 HHH DHL g HftiBfl B fl Mia ■P M H IHhI EB8H9BHH pfflH wB JHWliffiH innH mnr ■■0