^SSJKC 
 
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 ARMY PARODIES 
 by Private MORRIS GOLDMAN 
 
 Co. 1, 102nd U. S. Infantry Regiment, 26th Division 
 
 Private MORRIS GOLDMAN 
 The Yankee Division Song Writer 
 
 PRICE - TWENTY-FIVE CENTS 
 
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 Let us be Soldiers Always, All-Ways 
 
 To be always ready, and willing to fight 
 against weakness, and injustice wherever 
 we may find it. And in this great and 
 noble cause, let us begin with ourselves. 
 
 JUN k7 1919 
 
There's Lots of Little Cooties in the Army 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 
 (Tune) Chorus of There Must Be Little Cupids in the Sea 
 
 I 
 
 I 
 
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 There's lots of little cooties in the army, 
 There's lots of little cooties over sea, 
 Every man is surely got his share 
 Every man has got at least a pair, 
 There's lots of little cooties in the army 
 Doing squads right and left merrily, 
 And the fellows v^rithout any 
 Are not very, very many. 
 For there's lots of little cooties over sea. 
 
 II 
 (This verse was written before Cootie inspection) 
 
 Every man must leave the cooties in the army, 
 
 Every man must leave the cooties over sea, 
 
 Every man is surely got his share 
 
 Every man must leave at least a pair 
 
 Every man must leave the cooties in the army, 
 
 Doing squads right and left merrily. 
 
 For the fellows without any 
 
 Are not very, very many 
 
 They must leave the little cooties over sea. 
 
 Ill 
 (This verse was written after Cootie inspection) 
 
 There are no more little cooties in the army 
 
 There are no more little cooties over sea. 
 
 Every man has surely had his share 
 
 Every man has left at least a pair 
 
 There are no more Httle cooties in the army. 
 
 Doing squads right and left merrily. 
 
 And the fellows that have any 
 
 Are not very, very many, 
 
 There are no more little cooties over sea. 
 
The Mess Line 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — Keep Your Head Down, Fritsy Boy 
 
 1 
 
 While standing in the line, 
 
 Your bean bag tells you its feeding time, 
 
 Every morning you get rice, 
 
 If you kick you get it twice: 
 
 So stop your kicking soldier boy. 
 
 2 
 
 If your food is only half done. 
 
 It gives your bean bag a chance for fun, 
 
 To the sick call you just go 
 
 When you hear the bugle blow 
 
 And get your C. C. pill, soldier boy. 
 
 3 
 If your Boston beans are burned 
 It's nothing new so we all have learned. 
 The sergeant stands there with a grin 
 When for seconds we fall in, 
 So stop your kicking, soldier boy. 
 
 4 
 If your slum contains too much salt. 
 It's not always the K. P.'s fault, 
 They just had a little gin 
 When the salt was shoveled in. 
 So stop your kicking, soldier boy. 
 
 5 
 Stop your pushing in the line. 
 You'll all get your slum in time. 
 There is slum enough for all 
 When you hear the bugle call. 
 So stop your pushing, soldier boy. 
 
Noble Men 
 
 of Y. D. the Nation Gives 
 Thanks to Thee 
 
 Its 
 
 By 
 
 Private Morris Goldman 
 
 
 (Tune) 
 
 — The Sunshine of Your Smile 
 
 
 While the words 
 
 of this song is dedicated to the 
 
 Y. D. 
 
 (The Yankee 
 
 Division), the same sentiments apply to | 
 
 all the noble 
 
 men and women over here, and 
 
 "Over 
 
 There" who did their share to prove "that right 
 
 makes 
 
 might," and right will always win. 
 
 Noble men of Y. D., you certainly can be proud. 
 The splendid work you did is told with praises loud, 
 Your bravery, has made those Germans flee. 
 At Chateau Thierry, you paved the way, for victory. 
 
 Chorus 
 So come all you Y, D. 
 And have a drink with me. 
 
 You turned the trick and made those Germans sick, 
 Noble sons of Y. D. the nation gives its thanks to thee, 
 You saved the world, for all humanity. 
 
 To Sergeant Roberts, of Co. I 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — Chorus of It's a Long Way to Tip O'Rary 
 
 There's a sergeant whose name is Roberts 
 
 He is always full of fun 
 
 Just as soon as he enters the billet, 
 
 He keeps every man on the run. 
 
 For tricks of all kinds and a sunny nature 
 
 He surely can't be beat, 
 
 There's a sergeant whose name is Roberts 
 
 And his company is a treat. 
 
The Ride in the Box Car 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — Some One Thinks of Some One 
 
 Packed In a box car 
 
 We had to ride very far, 
 
 Soon everyone w^anted to sleep, 
 
 It didn't take long, 
 
 You could hear one's sweet song 
 
 When the men on each other did creep; 
 
 Say, con't you look out? 
 
 You could hear them all shout 
 
 As mad as the devils could be, 
 
 But the creepers replied, 
 
 It's in a box car we ride 
 
 Packed forty, instead of twenty-three 
 
 Chorus 
 So some men had to stay awake all night. 
 Some men had to shiver and freeze, 
 Because there wasn't enough room 
 To sit or bend the knees; 
 The cars were meant for twenty, 
 And we were packed in double that amount 
 But we were only a bunch of privates 
 And privates' comfort is of no account. 
 
Old Glory Must Win So Humanity May Live 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — My Country 'Tis of Thee 
 
 1 
 We were forced into this war, 
 Compelled to make our cannons roar, 
 For the land we love; 
 We tried our best for peace 
 So that this war would cease 
 The call of Uncle Sam to please, 
 Our great God, above. 
 
 2 
 
 We'll fight for all we're, worth 
 To restore peace on earth, 
 Then we'll be through; 
 Our great love for liberty, 
 Will make all nations free, 
 In every land and sea. 
 We'll bring justice too. 
 
 3 
 We must and will win the war, 
 Fight as we never fought before. 
 Old glory must win; 
 Oppression has had its day, 
 Freedom must come to stay, 
 We'll drive its foes away. 
 Eternal peace we'll bring in. 
 
 4 
 
 America has always stood, 
 For love and brotherhood, 
 For these we live; 
 We fight for our ideals 
 To cure the world's ills. 
 We believe our God so wills. 
 So humanity may live. 
 
We Are Back to the U. S. A. and WeVe 
 Going to Stay 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — Keep the Home Fires Burning 
 
 We are through with mud and water, 
 
 And the sunny land of France, 
 
 We are through with blood, and slaughter 
 
 We licked the Hunny with our glance, 
 
 Now good-bye to you dear shell holes 
 
 For we surely won't miss you, 
 
 We no longer shall have death tolls 
 
 And we're through with darkness too. 
 
 Chorus 
 
 So good-bye France and mud dear, 
 Good-bye rain every day in the year, 
 Good-bye beans and hard tack too 
 We are through with you. 
 Good-bye cold and hunger. 
 We'll know you no longer, 
 For we're back to the U. S. A. 
 And we're going to stay. 
 
 We are through with carrying full packs 
 And we're through with double time, 
 Many loads we carried on our backs 
 Heavy enough to break your spine. 
 We are through with doing squads right, 
 And with you dear K, P. too, 
 No more riding box cars air tight. 
 And being put on details too. 
 
Farewell to France 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — A Perfect Day 
 
 Dear France, we paid our debt to you 
 
 And now we're going back; 
 
 No longer shall free nations mourn 
 
 And its people be dressed in black. 
 
 For Uncle Sam is the friend of every man 
 
 And the nations who fight for right, 
 
 We have proved that rule by might has passed 
 
 And that only right makes might. 
 
 Now the sun is shining everywhere, 
 
 And the hearts of all are glad, 
 
 We are going back to God's country 
 
 Where the loved ones we left were sad, 
 
 Can you picture the joy in each mother's heart? 
 
 When the Y. D. comes marching home, 
 
 And the joy it will bring to each sweetheart 
 
 Who 'til now was left all alone. 
 
LET'S ALL HELP THE SALVATION 
 ARMY 
 
 By Private Morris Goldman 
 (Tune) — Glory, Glory, Halleluyjah 
 
 The Salvation Army helped the brave lads "Over There, 
 
 Serving hot coffee, and doughnuts 
 
 While shells were busting in the air, 
 
 They banished fear and, spread good cheer, 
 
 Wherever they would go. 
 
 We want the people all to know. 
 
 • • Chorus 
 
 Let's all help the Salvation Army. 
 
 They did splendid work, to keep all nations free. 
 
 With an open heart 
 
 They did their part. 
 
 To scatter sunshine everywhere. 
 
 They were mothers to the boys "Over There." 
 
 The Salvation Army went as far as they could go. 
 
 They helped to ruin the Kaiser 
 
 For they proved that he was slovv, 
 
 His submarines were only dreams, 
 
 Of a brain that couldn't think, 
 
 So we put him on the blink. 
 
ADDITIONAL COPIES 
 
 of this booklet will be mailed post paid, to 
 any part of the United States for 25 Cents. 
 Send coin or postage stamps. 
 Write your name and address plainly. 
 
 MORRIS GOLDMAN 
 3103 Third Ave. Bronx, N. Y. City 
 
 ^ihl ^ It" 
 
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 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 I Hill III niii mil mil Hill iMii III 
 
 021 gas'S'""™'""* III 
 
 GET THE HABIT 
 
 Get the habit, look at the bright side of things 
 
 Encourage the writer, and the man who sings, 
 
 Every one of us have our ups and downs 
 
 And only melancholly is the reward, of the man 
 who continually frowns. 
 
 So throw out your belly, pardon me, I meant 
 your chest, 
 
 Wear a smile and success will be, your eternal 
 rue St. 
 
 ^c 
 
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