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[ENINQ PARTY 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN 
 
 AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 A COMPLETE MANUAL OF HOME AMUSE- 
 MENTS. 
 
 EMBRACING 
 
 Fireside Games, Card Tricks, Dramas, Dialogues. 
 Etc.. Etc. 
 
 . lilkJ.. 
 
 
 NEW YORKl 
 
 TOU8EY & SMALL, Publishers. 
 
 1 1 6 Nassau Street. 
 
 <Via^ 
 

 Emtsbsh according to Act of Uongress in the year 1878, by 
 
 TOUSEY & SMALL, 
 In the Office of th© Librarian of Congress, at Washington, 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PABTY. 
 Introductory. 
 
 Here we are at our party. All around are bright faces and spark- 
 ling eyes, fair girls and bold boys, with a good sprinkling of the old 
 folks. 
 
 But there seems to be a sort of cessation in the mirth and jollity. 
 
 What's the matter? 
 
 Over in one corner we hear a whisper, " what shall we do next?" 
 It comes from the young hostess, and her pretty brows are knit with 
 trouble. 
 
 We have danced till we are tired. Supper won't be ready for au 
 hour. What shall w e do? 
 
 "Games!" suddenly exclaims a jolly gentleman, and straightway 
 he proceeds to start a series of the most interesting and ludicrous 
 games ever played or witnessed. 
 
 "Where did you learn all of them?" asks a breathless blonde, as 
 she gracefully, blushingly sinks down on the pillow and kisses him 
 through the key. 
 
 " Out of ' How to Entertain an Evening Party,' " he says; " that 
 little book is worth its weight in gold." 
 
 ONE OLD OX OPENING OYSTERS. 
 This is a capital round game, and will tax the memory and 
 the gravity of the youngsters. The company being seated, the 
 fugleman says: " One old ox opening oysters" which each 
 must repeat in turn with perfect gravity. Any one who in- 
 dulges in the slightest giggle is mulcted of a forfeit forthwith. 
 When the first round is finished, the fugleman begins again: 
 "Two toads, totally tired, trying to trot to Troy;" and the 
 others repeat in turn, each separately: " One old ox opening 
 oysters; Two toads, totally tired," etc. The third round is, 
 4 ' Three tawny tigers tickling trout," and the round recom- 
 mences: " One old ox, etc.; Two toads, totally, etc.; Three 
 tawny tigers, etc." The fourth round, and up to the twelfth 
 and last, given out by the fugleman successively and repeat- 
 ed by the other players, are as follows: " Four fat friars fan- 
 ning a fainting fly; Five fair flirts flying to France for faslir 
 
4 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 ions; Six Scotch salmon selling six sacks of sour-krout; Seven 
 small soldiers successfully shooting snipe; Eight elegant ele~ 
 phants embarking for Europe; Nine nimble noblemen nibbling 
 nonpareils; Ten tipsy tailors teasing a titmouse; Eleven early 
 earwigs eagerly eating eggs; and Twelve twittering tomtits on 
 the top of a tall tottering tree.'''' Any mistake in repeating 
 this legend, or any departure from the gravity suitable to the 
 occasion, is to be punished by the infliction of a forfeit ; and 
 the game has seldom been known to fail in producing a rich 
 harvest of those little pledges. Of course, a good deal depends 
 on the serio-comic gravity of the fugleman. 
 
 MYSTIC MUSIC. 
 
 One of the players is sent out of the room, and a handker- 
 chief, a pair of gloves, a brooch, or other small article, is hid- 
 den in some cunning nook. The signal is then given for the 
 banished one to return; and a lady or gentleman acquainted 
 with music takes up a position at the piano. It is for the 
 musician to indicate, by the strains of the piano, when the 
 seeker is approaching the object hidden. As he recedes from 
 it, the music falls to a low tone, and a mournful cadence; as 
 he approaches it, the notes swell out loud and clear, and bursts 
 into a triumphal strain as he lays his hand on the prize. If 
 properly managed, the mystic music may be made to have al- 
 most magnetic power in drawing the seeker toward it. 
 
 Another way of playing the game, and an improved one, is 
 to set the seeker some task to perform, instead of finding the 
 handkerchief. Say, for instance, he is to take a book from a 
 bookcase, and present it to a lady. As he walks around the 
 room, the music increases in sound as he approaches the book- 
 case, but falls as he passes it. This tells him in what locality 
 his task is. He takes a book, and the music sounds loudly and 
 joyously. He begins to read — no! the music falls at once; he 
 is faltering in his task. He carries the book around the room. 
 As he approaches the lady, the notes burst forth loudly again, 
 concluding with a triumphant flourish as he presents the 
 volume to her with a gallant bow. In case of failure, a forfeit 
 is exacted, and each player must have a task set him, or her, in 
 turn. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 5 
 SPINNING THE PLATTER. 
 
 The players sit or stand around a table covered with cloth, 
 find one of them takes up a wooden or metal plate, which sits 
 on its edge, and gives it a spin. As he does this he names some 
 one of the players, who is obliged to catch it before it has done 
 ■spinning, or to pay a forfeit. The player so called on sets the 
 ; plate spinning in turn, calling upon some other player to stop 
 it, and so on around, 
 
 HOW DO YOU LIKE IT ? WHEN DO YOU LIKE IT ? 
 AND WHERE DO YOU LIKE IT ? 
 
 This is a guessing game. One of the company retires, while 
 the rest fix on some article or object — for instance, light, an 
 apple, money, etc. The person who has gone out is then re- 
 called, and proceeds around the circle, asking each player in 
 succession: "How do you like it?" Supposing the thing 
 thought of to be money, the first may answer: "In abund- 
 ance;" the second: " Ready," and so on. The questioner tries 
 to gain from the answers thus given some clew to the nature 
 of the thing thought of. The second question: " When do you 
 like it?" will probably help him. One of the players may re- 
 ply: " When I have to pay my bills;" another, " When I want 
 a new coat," and so on. The third question is almost certain 
 to help a judicious questioner out of his puzzlement: " Where?" 
 " In my pocket," one of the players will reply; another, "At 
 my banker's," and so on. Some one is almost sure to drop a 
 hint which will set the guesser on the right track. Three 
 guesses are allowed him. If he succeeds, he must point out 
 the player whose answer gave him the clew, and the latter 
 pays a forfeit and goes out to be puzzled in his turn. Failing 
 to guess in three trials, the first player must try another ques- 
 tion. The art of the game consists in choosing words with 
 more meanings than one, such as cord (chord) ; for then the 
 answers may be varied in a very puzzling manner. One will 
 like a cor d around his box; another a c(h)ord in a piece of 
 music; another on the piano, etc. ; thus key {quay), bark, ves- 
 sel, are good words to choose. 
 
6 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 ITALIAN BLIND-MAN'S BUFF. 
 
 In order to play this game, the company arrange themselves 
 in a circle upon chairs which are placed very near together. 
 The person chosen by lot, or who voluntarily offers to play the 
 part of the blind man, allows a handkerchief to be bound over 
 his eyes by a lady, if the p!ayer is a gentleman, and by a gen- 
 tleman, if it is a lady who undertakes this part. 
 
 When all are certain that the blind man cannot discern the 
 objects which surround him, the players hastily change their 
 places in order to baffle his sagacity. Then he approaches the 
 circle without groping, for this is expressly forbidden, and 
 seats himself in the lap of the first person he comes across, 
 and without employing the sense of touch, but simply by lis- 
 tening to the stifled laughter around him, to the rustling of 
 the robes, the sound of which often discover the wearer, or 
 perhaps by a fortunate guess, he is enabled to tell the name of 
 the player upon whose lap he is seated, and in case he is unac- 
 quainted with the personage, describe her in such a manner 
 that she can be recognized. 
 
 If the blind man guesses correctly, the person discovered 
 takes his place, puts on the bandage, and performs the same 
 part. If, on the contrary, he is mistaken, the company clap 
 their hands to inform him of his error, and he renews the ex- 
 periment in the same manner, and without employing any 
 other means than those authorized by the game. 
 
 It is customary for the company, in order to prevent the 
 blind man from recognizing persons so readily, to resort to 
 various little stratagems, as for instance, some spread over 
 their laps the skirts of their neighbors' dresses, others cover 
 theirs with the cushions of the chairs. The ladies who are 
 dressed in silk, place then- shawls over their laps; in fine, all 
 try to disguise themselves in the best manner possible. 
 
 BLIND-MAN'S BUFF BY THE PROFILE. 
 
 When this game is played in a proper manner it is very en- 
 tertaining. The following is the method of playing it. 
 
 In this game the blind man's eyes are not bandaged, but he 
 is, notwithstanding, obliged to exercise all his penetration. A 
 piece of white and rather fine linen is stretched upon a frame 
 like a screen, in the same way as when exhibiting a magic Ian- 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 7 
 
 tern. The blind man is seated upon a stool, so low that his 
 shadow is not represented upon the linen, which is spread over 
 the screen. Some distance behind him a single lighted taper 
 is placed upon a stand, and all the other lights in the room are 
 extinguished. 
 
 When these arrangements are made, the rest of the com- 
 pany form a kind of procession, and pass in single file, between 
 the blind man (who is expressly forbidden to turn his head) 
 and the table upon which the light is placed. This produces 
 the expected effect; the light of the candle, intercepted by 
 each of the company in turn, as he passes before it, casts upon 
 the piece of white linen a succession of shadows quite accur- 
 ately defined. 
 
 As the shadows move before him, the blind man is obliged 
 to name aloud the person who he supposes is passing at the mo- 
 ment, and the errors into which he falls cause shouts of laugh- 
 ter, more or less prolonged. 
 
 It is hardly necessary to say that each one, as he passes be- 
 fore the light, tries to disguise his hight, his gait, to prevent 
 his being recognized. 
 
 It is not usual to give forfeits in this game, still it would 
 seem proper to demand them of those who are discovered. In 
 this way it would probably afford entertainment to a greater 
 number of players. 
 
 BLIND-MAN'S BUFF WITH THE STICK. 
 
 Blind-Man's Buff with the stick is a game well adapted for 
 the parlor. 
 
 The blind man, with his eyes covered with a bandage, is 
 placed in the middle of the room, and a long stick is put into 
 his hands. The rest of the company join theirs, and forming 
 a circle, wheel around him, at the same time singing some 
 lively air, in which they all join. 
 
 When the song is finished, they stop, and the blind man, ex- 
 tending his stick, directs it, by chance, towards one of the 
 company, who is obliged to take hold of it by the end present- 
 ed to him. Then the blind man utters three cries, which the 
 other must repeat in the same tone. If the latter does not 
 know how to disguise his voice, he is easily guessed, and takes 
 the blind man's place; otherwise the circle wheels around 
 him, stops again, and so on as before. 
 
8 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 COPENHAGEN. 
 First procure a long piece of tape or twine, sufficient to go 
 around the whole company, who must stand in a circle, hold- 
 ing in each of their hands a part of the string — the last takes 
 hold of the two ends of the tape. One remains standing in the 
 center of the circle who is called "the Dane," and who must 
 endeavor to slap the hands of one of those who are holdirg the 
 string, before they can be withdrawn. Whoever is not suffici- 
 ently alert, and allows the hands to be slapped, must take the 
 place of the Dane, and in his turn, try to slap the hands of 
 some one else. 
 
 THE CAT AND THE MOUSE. 
 Let all the company join hand in hand in a circle, except one 
 who is placed inside, called the Mouse, and another outside, 
 called the Cat. They begin by running around, raising the 
 arms; the Cat springs in at one side and the Mouse jumps out 
 at the other; they then suddenly lower the arms so that the 
 Cat cannot escape. The Cat goes around mewing, trying to 
 get out; and as the circle must keep dancing around all the 
 time, she must try and find a weak place to break through. As 
 soon as she gets out she chases the Mouse, who tries to save 
 herself by getting within the circle again. For this purpose 
 they raise their arms. If she gets in without being followed 
 by the Cat, the Cat must pay a forfeit, and try again; but if 
 the Mouse is caught she must pay a forfeit. Then they name 
 who shall succeed them ; they fall into the circle, and the game 
 goes on as bef ore* 
 
 HUNT THE HARE. 
 The company all form a circle, holding each other's hands. 
 One, called the Hare, is left out, who runs several times 
 around the ring, and at last stops, tapping one of the players 
 on the shoulder. The one tapped quits the ring and runs after 
 the Hare, the circle again joining hands. The Hare runs in 
 and out in every direction, passing under the arms of those in 
 the circle until caught by the pursuer, when he becomes Hare 
 himself. Those in the circle must always be friends to the 
 Hare, and assist its escape in every way possible. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 9 
 
 THE KEY SPORT. 
 This game may be played by any number of persons, who 
 should all, except one, seat themselves on chairs placed in a 
 circle, and he should stand in the center of the ring. Each 
 sitter must next take hold, with his left hand, of the right 
 wrist of the person sitting on his left, being careful not to ob- 
 struct the grasp by holding the hands. When all have, in this 
 manner, joined hands, they should begin moving them from 
 left to right, making a circular motion, and touching each 
 other's hands, as if for the purpose of taking something froni 
 them. The player in the center then presents a key to one of 
 the sitters, and turns his back, so as to allow it to be privately 
 passed to another, who hands it to a third; and thus the key is 
 quickly handed around the ring from one player to the other ; 
 which task is easily accomplished, on account of the continued 
 motion of the hands of all the players. Meanwhile, the player 
 in the center, after the key has reached the third or fourth 
 player, should watch its progress narrowly, and endeavor to 
 seize it in its passage. If he succeed, the person in whose hand 
 it is found, after paying a forfeit, must take his place in the 
 center, and give and hunt the key in his turn; should the 
 seeker fail in discovering the key in his first attempt, he must 
 continue to search until he succeeds. When a player has paid 
 three forfeits, he is out. 
 
 CHASE THE SLIPPER. 
 This is usually an in-door game, although there is no other 
 objection to its being played on a dry piece of turf than that 
 the slipper cannot be heard, when struck by its momentary 
 possessor, when passing around the joyous ring. Several 
 young persons sit on the floor in a circle, a slipper is given to 
 them, and one, who generally volunteers to accept the office in 
 order to begin the game, stands in the center, whose business 
 it is to " chase the slipper by its sound." The parties who are 
 seated, pass it around so as to prevent, if possible, its being 
 found in the possession of any individual. In order that the 
 player in the center may know where the slipper is, it is occa- 
 sionally tapped on the ground, and then suddenly handed on 
 to the right or left. When the slipper is found in the posses- 
 sion ©f any one in the circle, by the player who is hunting it, 
 
10 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING; PARTY. 
 
 the party on whom it is so found takes the latter player's' 
 place. 
 
 PROVERBS. 
 
 One of the company who is to guess the proverb leaves the 
 room; the remaining players fix upon some proverb, such as: 
 " All is not gold that glitters," "A bird in the hand is worth 
 two in the bush," " Birds of a feather flock together," " Train 
 up a child in the way he should go," " A miss is as good as a 
 mile." A proverb being chosen, the words are distributed in 
 rotation through the company, each player recefving a word 
 which he must bring in in the answer he gives to any question 
 asked by the guesser. We will suppose the proverb, "Train 
 up a child in the way he should go," to have been chosen. The 
 first person will receive the word "train," the second "up," 
 the third "a," the fourth "child," the fifth "in," the sixth 
 "the," and the seventh " way," and so on. The person who 
 has gone out is now called in, and begins his questions with the 
 first player, something in the following manner: Q. "Have 
 you been out to day?" A. "No; I must train myself to like 
 walking better than I do." He turns to the second player. 
 Q. "Are you a member of the National Guard?" A. "No; I 
 gave it up some time ago." The third player has an easy task 
 to bring in the word a, but the fourth, with the word child, 
 finds his work more difficult. Q. " Are you fond of reading?" 
 A. "Any child might answer that question." Now, the guesser, 
 if he be a sharp reasoner, will see that this answer is evasive, 
 and only given to bring in the word child ; he will, perhaps, 
 guess the proverb at once ; but if he is a cautious personage he 
 will go on, and finish the round of questions before committing 
 himself by a guess, for he is only allowed three. If he suc- 
 ceeds in guessing the proverb, he has to point out the person 
 whose answer first set him on the right track, who must then 
 pay a forfeit, and go out in his turn to have his powers tested. 
 
 THE EMPEROR OF MOROCCO. 
 This is one of those games in which the art consists in pre- 
 serving an immutable gravity, under every provocation to 
 laugh. In "The Emperor ©f Moreceo," tw© ©f the players, 
 
nOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 11 
 
 generally one of each sex, advance with measured steps into 
 the middle of the room, and ceremoniously salute each other, 
 and the following dialogue takes place, the speakers being com- 
 pelled to look one another full in the face: 
 
 First Player. The Emperor of Morocco is dead. Second 
 Plater. I'm very sorry for it. First Plater. He died of 
 the gout in his left great toe. Second Plater. I'm very sorry 
 for it. First Plater. And all the court go into mourning, 
 and wear black rings through their noses. Second Plater. 
 I'm vert sorry for it. They then bow again and retire to 
 their places, while another pair comes forward to go through 
 the same impressive dialogue; and so on, till the game has 
 gone all around the circle, a forfeit being the penalty for the 
 slightest approach to a giggle. 
 
 BUFF SAID BAFF 
 Is a similar game to the last. One of the players comes for- 
 ward armed with a poker, which he taps on the floor — knock, 
 knock, knock. " Whence come you?" asks one of the com 
 pany. "I come from poor Buff, full of sorrow and care.* 
 "And what said Buff to you?" is the next question. The in- 
 truder replies: 
 
 " Buff said, ■ Baff !' 
 And he gave me this staff, 
 And he bade me not laugh 
 Till I came to Buff's house again." 
 
 And with this he delivers the poker to his questioner, and 
 marches out. But in the meantime the spectators have been 
 trying their best, by grimaces and droll remarks, to overset? 
 the gravity of the emissary of the respectable Buff. One 
 says: "Just look at him; he is going to laugh!" Another: 
 " He hasn't a staff at all — it's a poker!" " Don't he look as if 
 he wanted his dinner!" and any other facetious remarks that 
 may suggest themselves on the spur of the moment. 
 
 Sometimes the formula is changed, and Mr. Buff's allocution 
 is as follows: 
 
 " Buff says Buff to all his men, 
 And I say Buff to you again ; 
 Buff he neither laughs nor smiles. 
 In spite of all your cunning wiles; 
 
IS HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 But keeps his face with a very good grace, 
 And carries his staff to the very next place." 
 
 THE FAMILY COACH. 
 
 Each person in company represents something connected 
 with a family coach; one is the harness, another the horses, a 
 third the coachman, a fourth the footman, a fifth, sixth, and 
 seventh, the pole, whip, drag, and so on, till each player has a 
 representative office. One of the company begins to relate an 
 anecdote, and each time he mentions the " family coach," all 
 the players must rise from their seats and turn around. When 
 he mentions harness, or wheels, or pole, or any other part of 
 the equipage, the persons representing those parts must rise, 
 each at the mention of his name, and turn around. Failing to 
 do this, they pay a forfeit. The story itself will be something 
 in the following way: 
 
 " You must all have heard, at some time or other, of my 
 friend, Mr. Timothy Tapertit. He lived in a capital house at 
 Hackensack, with Mrs. Tapertit, and all the little Tapertits, 
 who all had snub noses and crooked legs, and were considered 
 very like their father. He was a very comfortable sort of 
 man, Mr. Tapertit, and liked to have a good establishment 
 about him, a steady coachman (coachman rises and turns 
 around), a tall footman (footman does likewise), and every- 
 thing comfortable and handsome; but the thing he prided him- 
 self on most of all, was his family coach (all the players rise 
 and turn around). This family coach (all turn around again) 
 was a very complete machine in its way. It had real wheeU 
 (wheels turn around), and a pole (pole turns), and there was a 
 good set of harness, and a pair of horses, and a drag, and 
 everything complete; in fact, it was a famous family coach." 
 Then he proceeds to describe Timothy Tapertit ordering out 
 this famous vehicle for a drive ; and an accident that takes 
 place, involving endless difficulties with the coachman, foot- 
 man, harness, horses, and every part of the turn-out, ending 
 with the expression of a fixed determination on the part of 
 Mr. Tapertit to get rid of his equipage as soon as possible, and 
 to be bothered no more with the family coach. If well man- 
 aged, this game cannot fail to produce plenty of fun and 
 forfeits. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 13 
 
 THE THREE ELEMENTS. 
 One of the players is furnished with a handkerchief, which 
 he throws suddenly and unexpectedly at another, crying out 
 the name of "earth," "air," or "water," whichever he likes, 
 and then counting ten as rapidly as he can. Before he has 
 come to ten, the person at whom the handkerchief is thrown 
 must name a creature that inhabits the element thus mention- 
 ed, or, failing to do this, pays a forfeit. Thus, suppose the 
 thrower of the handkerchief says water — one, two, three, four, 
 five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, the person challenged must 
 call the name of some fish; if air, the name of a bird; or, if 
 earth, that of a quadruped. If the question is put very abrupt- 
 ly, and the number quickly counted, the players will often be 
 unable to get out their reply quickly enough, and the forfeits 
 come in merrily. The best way is, to look at one person, and 
 then unexpectedly throw the handkerchief at another. 
 
 WHAT THE BELLS SAID. 
 A good children's game. Two of the players take each 
 other's hands and hold them up in the form of an arch (as in 
 the " Sir Roger de Coverly " dance), and the others, taking hold 
 of each other's coats and dresses, pass under the arch one after 
 the other, while the archway players chant the following dit- 
 ty: 
 
 " Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St. Clements. 
 
 You owe me five farthings, say the bells of St. Martin's. 
 
 When will you pay me? say the bells at the Old Bailey. 
 
 When I grow rich, say the bells at Shoreditch. 
 
 When will that be? say the bells at Stepney. 
 
 I don't know, says the great bell at Bow. 
 
 Here comes a candle to light you to bed, 
 
 And here comes a chopper to chop off the last, last, last man's 
 head.*' 
 
 And as the last man comes to the arch, it descends like a port- 
 cullis, and cuts him off from his companions. His captors then 
 ask him if he prefers oranges or lemons, and according to his 
 reply he is sent into the right or the left corner of the room; 
 the chant then recommences, and continues till all the last 
 men's heads have been duly cut off, and the players are divided 
 into two parties on opposite sides. They then take hold of each 
 
U BOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 other around the waist, and the foremost players grasp each 
 other by the hands. The party that can drag the other across 
 the room wins. 
 
 VERY FLY. 
 The players are seated at a table, and each puts his two fore- 
 fingers on the board before him. The leader cries out: " Pig- 
 eons fly!" and suddenly lifts his hands in the air to imitate the 
 action of flying; all the players have to do likewise. The lead- 
 er raises hands each time he calls out a name; but the others 
 must only remove their hands from the table at the names of 
 such creatures as really fly. The leader's object is to entrap 
 them into incurring forfeits by lifting their hands at the wrong 
 time, which, under judicious management, some of them are 
 sure to do. Thus, the leader cries in rapid succession: " Crows 
 fly! — Eagles fly! — Gnats fly! — Sparrows fly! — Horses fly!" In 
 the excitement of the game, some are sure to lift their hands 
 from the table, oblivious of the fact that horses do not fly, and 
 they pay forfeits accordingly. 
 
 RED-CAP AND BLUE-CAP 
 Is a good game, and used to be very popular at sea, in the 
 olden times, among the little middies. The penalty of a mis- 
 take was cobbing with knotted handkerchiefs; but, of course, 
 in polite society, this part of the ceremony is dispensed with — 
 a forfeit, or something similar, being substituted. The players 
 sit around in a circle, and represent tailors. Each has a name, 
 and one is the master. One man takes the name Blue-cap, an- 
 other is Red-cap, a third Yellow-cap, a fourth Black-cap, and 
 so on, through as many colors as there are players. The lead- 
 er then pretends to examine the work, and says: "Here's a 
 false stitch; who made it, Blue-cap?" Blue-cap immediately 
 answers: "Who, sir? — I, sir?" "Yes, you, sir!" "Not I, sir." 
 "Who, then, sir?" "Yellow-cap, sir." Yellow-cap must at 
 once take up the word, and the same dialogue is repeated. 
 "Who, sir? — I, sir?" etc., another workman being named as the 
 delinquent. Any one who fails to answer to his name pays a 
 forfeit. If briskly kept up, the game is a thoroughly good one. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 15 
 
 SPANISH BLIND MAN. 
 In this game, instead of blindfolding one of the players, his 
 hands are tied behind him, and in that difficult way he must 
 endeavor to catch one of his companions, who must, when 
 caught, submit to the same restraint. 
 
 THE RIBBONS. 
 
 Each person in the company takes a ribbon, and holds it by 
 one end. The other ends are all united in the hand of the one 
 who leads the game, and who, consequently, is placed in the 
 middle of the circle. 
 
 When he says: " Pull" they must let go; when he says: " Let 
 go," they must pull the ribbon which they hold. It is aston- 
 ishing how many forfeits are won at this simple game. 
 
 THE DOWN FLIES. 
 
 One of the players takes a flake of cotton or a bit of down, 
 which he casts into the air in the midst of a circle formed by 
 those present who are seated close together. He at once puffs 
 with his breath to keep it floating in the air, and the one to- 
 wards whom the flake takes its course must puff in the same 
 way to keep it from falling on his lap, which would cost him a 
 forfeit. 
 
 Nothing is more amusing than to see ten or twelve people, 
 with upturned faces, blowing and puffing, each in bis own 
 way, to send from one to the other this flake of cotton. 
 
 Sometimes it happens that as one cannot laugh and puff at 
 the same moment, the tuft of cotton falls into the mouth of 
 one of the company, who in vain tries to find breath enough to 
 blow it away. This excites the laughter of the other players, 
 who demand from him a forfeit for his gluttony. 
 
 THE HUNTSMAN. 
 
 This game is one of the liveliest winter evenings' pastimes 
 that can be imagined. It may be played by any number of 
 persons above four. One of the players is styled the " Hunts- 
 man," and the others must be called after the different parts 
 ©f the dress or accoutrements of a sportsman, thus: one is the 
 
16 HO W TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 coat, another the hat, while the shot, shot-belt, powder, pow- 
 der-flask, dog, and gun, and every other appurtenance belong- 
 ing to a huntsman has its representative. As many chairs as 
 there are players, excluding the Huntsman, should next be 
 ranged in two rows, back to back, and all the players must 
 then seat themselves ; and being thus prepared, the Huntsman 
 walks around the sitters, and calls out the assumed name of 
 one of them; for instance: " G-un !" when that player immedi- 
 ately gets up, and takes hold of the coat-skirts of the Hunts- 
 man, who continues his walk and calls out all the others one 
 by one; each must take hold of the skirts of the player before 
 him, and when they are all summoned, the Huntsman starts 
 off running around the chairs as fast as he can, the other play- 
 ers holding on and running after him. When he has run 
 around two or three times, he shouts out " Bang!" and imme- 
 diately sits down on one of the chairs, leaving his followers to 
 scramble to the other seats as they best can. Of course, one 
 must be left standing, there being one chair less than the num- 
 ber of players, and the player so left must pay a forfeit. The 
 game is continued until all have paid three forfeits, when they 
 are tried, and the punishments or penances declared. The 
 Huntsman is not changed throughout the game, unless he gets 
 tired of his post. 
 
 ARMY EXERCISE. 
 This game furnishes a good joke, but must be played cir- 
 cumspectly, that no offense may be given, and no unpleasant 
 consequences arise. The company are drawn up in line, with 
 a sergeant and captain — the former standing at the head of the 
 line, the latter in front of the regiment, to give the word of 
 command. The two officers must be in the secret, and act in 
 concert. The captain gives the order, and puts his men through 
 their drill, they taking the time from the sergeant. After a 
 few ordinary commands, such as: "Heads up." "Eyes 
 right," etc., the word is given to "ground right knees," where- 
 upon all the men kneel down on the right knee. Then comes: 
 " Right hands forward," whereupon the sergeant stretches out 
 his right arm and hand horizontally in front of him, at full 
 length. " Left hands backward," and the left arms are thrust 
 back as nearly horizontal as possible with the shoulders. N»w 
 
HO W TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 17 
 
 cpmes the word: "Fire!" at which the sergeant gives his neigh- 
 bor a push; he, taken unawares, tumbles against the next man, 
 and down goes the whole row like a house of cards. 
 
 YES AND NO. 
 One of the players thinks of any person or thing, and the 
 rest sit around and ask him questions about it, which he an j 
 swers with "yes" or "no," taking care to give no other explana- 
 tions. From the information thus gained, each gives a guess 
 as to what the thought was. If the questions are ingeniously 
 framed, the solution is generally discovered, unless the 
 " thought " be peculiarly abstruse. The game is a very good 
 one, and we herewith emphatically recommend it, particularly 
 as affording an opportunity of "cooling down " after a romp. 
 
 THE STICK. 
 This game consists in forming a double circle, the players 
 placing themselves two by two, so that each boy, by holding a 
 girl in front of him, makes what is called a stick. It is neces- 
 sary that the players should be of an even number. The cir- 
 cles being formed, two persons are chosen, the one to catch 
 the other. When the person who is pursued does not wish to 
 be overtaken (which would oblige him to take the place of the 
 pursuer), and at the same time desires to rest, he places him- 
 self in front of any one of the sticks he chooses, but within the 
 circle, so that this stick is then composed of three persons, 
 which is contrary to rule. Then the third one, who is on the 
 outside of the circle, must at once run, to avoid being caught. 
 If he is caught, he takes the place of the pursuer, who, in his 
 turn, starts off, or, if he prefers it, enters into the circle, and 
 places himself before one of the sticks, thus obliging a new 
 player to run like the former one; this one himself can at once 
 oblige another player to run, by placing himself, in his turn, 
 before a stick, and it is this which gives life to the game, pro- 
 vided the players have a fair share of spirit and agility 
 
 THUS SAYS THE GRAND MUFTI. 
 In this game one of the company sits in a chair, and is called 
 the Mufti ©r the Grand Mufti. Ho makes whatever grimace 
 
18 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 or motion he pleases, such as putting his hand on his heart, 
 winking, sneezing, coughing, stretching out his arm, smiting 
 his forehead, etc. At each movement he says: "Thus says 
 the Grand Mufti," or "So says the Grand Mufti." When he 
 says: "Thus says the Grand Mufti," every one must make 
 just such a motion as he does; but when he says: " So says 
 the Grand Mufti," every one must keep still. A forfeit for a 
 mistake is exacted. 
 
 ACROSTIC AUCTION. 
 
 This is an excellent game for young persons, stimulating their 
 inventive talents, and is a good exercise in spelling. The per- 
 son who opens the game announces that he has just returned 
 from the city, where he purchased an article, which he names, 
 the name containing just as many letters as the number of the 
 company assembled to play the game. He further states that 
 he is willing to barter the article for as many other articles as 
 the company, excluding himself, number; but the initial letter 
 of each article offered must be in regular succession the letters 
 composing the article bartered. Furnished with a pencil and 
 paper, the seller notes down the offers of the buyers, and, when 
 correctly completed, he reads them aloud ; and in an affected, 
 pompous manner, though quite impromptu, declares what he 
 intends to do with the articles thus acquired. For example, in 
 a company composed of eleven persons, the seller says: 
 
 "I have just returned from the city, where I purchased a 
 pianoforte, but I wish to barter it — speaking to the first per- 
 son—what will you give me for the first letter, P?" The first 
 person and the other nine, make consecutively their offers, and 
 the seller carefully records them, after which he says: 
 
 " You propose to barter for my 
 
 P a Pen. 
 I an Inkbottle. 
 A an Anchor. 
 N a Newspaper. 
 O an Orchard. 
 
 F a Fan. 
 
 O an Oar. 
 
 R a Ruby. 
 
 T a Teacup. 
 
 E an Evergreen. 
 
 "I accept the offer, and this is the way I intend to use the 
 articles so acquired. 
 
 " The Ruby I will have mounted in a ring, and will ever trea- 
 sure it in remembrance of the donor. The Fan I will present 
 to a certain lady, who, at present, shall b© nameless. Then I 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY, 19 
 
 will ride into the country, where, sitting in my Orchard, I 
 will read my Newspaper, and with my Pen and Inkbottle, 
 write letters to you, my dear friends, from whose agreeable 
 society I shall then be absent. When tired of writing, I will 
 proceed to the river, where, with my Oar, I will row on the 
 water till evening, then Anchor the boat; and after taking tea 
 from my Teacup, will go into the garden, and superintend the 
 planting of my Evergreen." 
 
 This relation being terminated, the ten other players become 
 the sellers of various articles in the same manner. Forfeits are 
 levied when articles are offered for sale containing more or less 
 letters than the number of purchasers, or for any error in the 
 spelling of the articles offered in exchange. 
 
 THE TRADES. 
 
 A GAME OP PANTOMIME. 
 
 Each one of the company chooses a trade, which he exer' 
 cises in the following manner: 
 
 The shoemaker mends shoes. 
 
 The washerwoman washes clothes. 
 
 The painter paints portraits. 
 
 The cook kneads the bread. 
 
 The locksmith hammers upon an anvil. 
 
 The spinner turns her wheel, etc., etc., etc. 
 
 One of the players acts as king or queen, and commences 
 the game by working at his own trade. In the meanwhile all 
 the others must make the movement appropriate to theirs. If 
 the king suddenly changes his trade, and takes up that of one 
 of the company, all the rest must remain inactive except the 
 player whom the king is imitating, and he must at once take 
 up the king's trade, until the latter is pleased to adopt anoth- 
 er ; then that player in his turn takes the king's trade, and all 
 the rest remain idle until the king returns to his original trade, 
 which is the signal for all present to recommence their own. 
 
 If any one of the company makes a mistake he pays a for^ 
 feit. 
 
 CHANGEABLE. 
 This game is but a variation of the preceding one, and is 
 thought to b© more entertaining. 
 
30 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 All the company form a circle in the apartment. The per- 
 son who leads the game takes his place in that part of the cir- 
 cle where he is most easily visible to all. When the other 
 players have each chosen their trades, they must perform the 
 gestures suited to them to the best of their ability — for exam- 
 ple, the writer by writing and folding a letter, the painter by 
 sketching upon the wall, and so on. 
 
 Then he who leads the game moves his finger as if playing 
 upon the flageolet, and may if he chooses at the same time 
 sing some well known song. 
 
 As soon as he ceases and takes up the trade of one of the 
 players, the latter must play the flageolet in his turn, moving 
 his fingers as if he had the instrument in his hand, without, 
 however, being obliged to sing, but when the leader of the 
 game resumes the flageolet, or takes up the trade of another 
 of the players, he who is playing the flageolet must at once re- 
 turn to his own trade; if he fails to do so he pays a forfeit to 
 the leader of the game. 
 
 It is evident that this game requires much attention, for 
 when the leader of the game possesses address and quickness, 
 it is in his power to obtain a great many forfeits. 
 
 THE PAINTER AND THE COLORS. 
 
 One of the party assumes the character of a Painter, the 
 other players adopt the names of the various colors. The 
 Painter pretends that he is employed to paint a picture, and 
 when he mentions the word palette, all the rest of the players 
 cry "colors." If he mentions the word colors, they all cry: 
 " Here we are." If he says pencil, they answer " brush." If 
 he asks for his brush, they cry " easel." If the painter men- 
 tions any color by name, the person who represents that color 
 cries out the name of another color, and then the player re- 
 presenting the last named color says: " There you are, Mr. 
 Painter." 
 
 Any deviation from these rules incurs a forfeit, and the 
 principal fun of the game is in the color cited by the Painter, 
 naming a color ridiculously unfit for the purpose required. 
 For example: 
 
 Painter. At last my talents have been recognized, and I 
 may now consider my fortune made, when a nobleman of 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN- AN EVENING PARTY. 21 
 
 great taste has commissioned me to paint him a picture repre- 
 senting Anthony and the beauteous Cleopatra. I now pro- 
 ceed to charge my palette. 
 
 All the Colors. Colors — colors! 
 
 Painter. The most beautiful colors. 
 
 All. Here we are! 
 
 Painter. I can't use you all at once; my pencil. 
 
 All. Brush — brush! 
 
 Painter. True, I will give you the brush. 
 
 All. Easel! 
 
 Painter. Silence, or I will not employ any of you. Now 
 I commence the hair of my Cleopatra, which must be black. 
 
 Black. Red— red! 
 
 Red. There you are, Mr. Painter. 
 
 Painter. The eyes must be blue. 
 
 Blue. Yellow— yellow! 
 
 Yellow. There you are, Mr. Painter. 
 
 Painter. For the cheeks I will have a superb vermilion. 
 
 Vermilion. Green — green! 
 
 Green. There you are, Mr. Painter. 
 
 Painter. All the colors 
 
 All. Here we are — here we are ! 
 
 Painter. Will find their places, thanks to the delicacy of 
 my pencil. 
 
 All. Brush — brush! (Great confusion.) 
 
 POKER AND TONGS; OR, HOT BOILED BEANS. 
 This is decidedly about as noisy a game as can well be im- 
 agined, but it also has the merit of being equally simple. Some 
 small article is to be hidden, the party, whose business it is to 
 discover it, being sent out of the room while that is being 
 done. Another of the players now takes a pair of tongs in one 
 hand, and a poker in the other. The seeker of the hidden 
 treasure is then called in, and begins to hunt for the concealed 
 article. While he is at a distance from the spot where it has 
 been placed, the poker, which is held between the legs of the 
 tongs, is made to strike them alternately with a slow motion, 
 so as to produce a kind of melancholy music. But *»s he ap- 
 proaches the concealed treasure, the music becomes more live- 
 ly, and as he recedes from it, more slow and solemn; but when 
 
22 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 his hand is placed on the spot where the article is to be found, 
 the musician plays a loud and noisy tune on his uncouth in- 
 strument. In cases where the rough music produced by the 
 poker and tongs is offensive to the ears of invalids or others, 
 the progress of the player in his search may be announced by 
 assuring him that he is " very cold," " rather warmer," " very 
 hot," or " burning his fingers," as he approaches or recedes 
 from the hidden object. This game is sometimes called Magic 
 Music. 
 
 CUPID'S BOX. 
 
 This game, invented to compel forfeits, is played in the fol- 
 lowing manner: 
 
 The one who commences offers a box to his right-hand 
 neighbor, and says: " I sell you my Cupid's box, which con- 
 tains three phrases — To Love, to Kiss, and to Dismiss. The 
 neighbor answers: " "Whom do you love? whom do you kiss? 
 whom do you dismiss?" 
 
 At each of these questions, which are put separately, the 
 person who has given the box names some individual present 
 whom he Loves, Kisses, or Dismisses. The person whom he 
 kisses must in reality kiss him, and the One that he dismisses 
 pays a forfeit. A player may Love, Kiss, or Dismiss several, 
 or even all of those present, but this is permitted only once 
 during the game — a regulation which brings it to a termin- 
 ation. 
 
 THE INTERRUPTED REPLY. 
 
 The company place themselves in a circle. The one who 
 commences says in a whisper to his right-hand neighbor, " Of 
 what use is a book?" (or any other article he may select). 
 
 His neighbor must answer, correctly, "It is of use to read," 
 and then ask another question of his right-hand neighbor — for 
 instance, " Of what use is a goblet?" 
 
 The art in this game consists in so framing one's questions, 
 that they will produce answers altogether unsuited to the pre- 
 ceding question. If the answer is, " It is of use to drink from," 
 a laughable consequence ensues; for, when the round is fin- 
 ished, or in other words, when the person who has commenced 
 the game has been questioned in his turn, the questions and 
 
HO W TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 23 
 
 answers are repeated aloud, by taking the answer of the 
 person on the player's right as a reply to the question of the 
 person on his left, it follows, that to the question, " Of what 
 use is a book?" one of the company has answered, " It is of use 
 to drink from;" and so on with the rest of the questions and 
 answers. 
 
 SCISSORS CROSSED OR NOT CROSSED. 
 
 Each player in his turn passes to his neighbor a pair of 
 scissors, or any other object, saying—" I give you my scissors 
 crossed (or not crossed.") 
 
 If the former, the player, as he utters the words, must cross 
 his arms or feet in a natural manner. If the latter, he must be 
 careful to keep them separate. The person who receives the 
 scissors must be careful to imitate this action. Many persons, 
 from mere want of attention, render themselves liable to for- 
 feits in this game, and without knowing why — their surprise 
 producing the chief part of the- amusement. 
 
 THE MOLE CATCH. 
 
 This simple game consists merely in saying to one of the 
 players: 
 
 " Have you seen my mole?" 
 
 The latter answers: " Yes, I have seen your mole." 
 
 " Do you know what my mole is doing?" 
 
 " Yes, I do know what your mole is doing." 
 
 " Can you do as it does?" 
 
 The person who replies must shut his eyes at each answer ; if 
 he fails to do so he pays a forfeit. 
 
 I HAVE JUST COME PROM SHOPPING. 
 The company form a circle, and one of the party who com- 
 poses it says to her right hand neighbor: " I have just come 
 from shopping." " What have you bought?" rejoined the lat- 
 ter. "A robe, a vest, stockings, flowers;" in fine, anything 
 that comes into the purchaser's head, provided that in uttering 
 the words she can touch an object similar to the one she names. 
 Those who neglect to do this must pay a forfeit; a forfeit can 
 
34 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 be required also from any one who names an object which has 
 been named by any player previously, 
 
 THE PEAS. 
 
 The leader of the game must put the following question to 
 his right hand neighbor, and also to all the players in suc- 
 cession: 
 
 " My cook likes no peas — what shall I give her to eat?'' 
 
 If any player replies: " Potatoes, parsnips," the other an- 
 swers: " She does not like them; pay a forfeit." 
 
 But if another says: " Onions, carrots, veal, chickens," she 
 likes them, and consequently no forfeit is required of the 
 player. 
 
 The trick of this game is evident. It is the letter P that must 
 be avoided. Thus, to escape the penalty of a forfeit, it is 
 necessary that the players should propose some kind of vege- 
 table or food in which the letter Pdoes not occur, such as beans, 
 radishes, venison, etc., etc. 
 
 THE DIVINER. 
 The point of this game consists in divining a word which is 
 named together with several others. Two of the players com- 
 monly agree between themselves to place it after an object 
 that has four legs, for instance, a quadruped, a table, etc., etc. 
 
 EXAMPLE. 
 
 If Emily wishes to have Henry guess a word which Susan 
 has secretly told her, she says to him: " Susan has been shop- 
 ping; she has bought a rose, a dress, some jewelry, a table, a 
 bonnet, a shawl " 
 
 Harry of course will easily guess that the object in question 
 is a bonnet, for the word " table,' 1 ' 1 which precedes it, has four 
 legs. 
 
 MY AUNT'S GARDEN. 
 The company form a circle, and the one who understands 
 the game best, turns to his next neighbor and speaks as fol- 
 lows; 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 25 
 
 " I come from my aunt's garden! In my aunt's garden are 
 four corners." 
 
 Each of the players repeats in succession the same phrases 
 without adding or leaving out a syllable, under penalty of a 
 forfeit, and at the same time losing his turn to complete the 
 sentence, when the one who is next to him takes it up without 
 giving him time to correct himself. 
 
 When the turn comes again to the first speaker, he repeats 
 what he has just said, and adds: " In the first corner there is 
 a geranium." 
 
 The others then in their turn repeat, not only this phrase, 
 but that which they have already repeated, paying a forfeit 
 for the least mistake. 
 
 This round finished, the leader of the game repeats the whole, 
 and adds: " In the second corner there is a rose; I would like 
 to kiss you, but I dare not." 
 
 After the third round he adds: " In the third corner there 
 is a lily of the valley; tell me your secret." 
 
 Then each player after having repeated the whole of these 
 phrases in his turn, whispers a secret into the ear of his next 
 neighbor. 
 
 At the end of the fourth repetition, the chief player adds: 
 " In the fourth corner there is a poppy — that which you told 
 me in a whisper repeat aloud." 
 
 In proportion as the discourse, which has now arrived at its 
 climax, passes around the circle, each player finds himself 
 obliged to divulge the secret which he has confided to his com- 
 panion, causing often considerable embarrassment to those 
 who had not expected the game to take this turn, and to find 
 themselves laid under this obligation. 
 
 CUPID'S COMING. 
 A letter must be taken, and the termination " ing." Say, 
 for instance, that P is chosen. The first player says to the 
 second: "Cupid's coming." "How is he coming?" says the 
 second. " Playing," rejoins the first. The second then says to 
 the third: " Cupid's coming." " How?" "Prancing," and so 
 the question and reply go around, through all the words be- 
 ginning with P and ending with ing — piping, pulling, pining, 
 
36 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 praising, preaching, etc. Those who cannot answer the ques- 
 tion on the spur of the moment pay a forfeit. 
 
 CROOKED QUESTIONS AND CROSS ANSWERS. 
 The company sit around, and each one whispers a question 
 to his neighbor on the right, and then each one whispers an 
 answer ; so that each answers the question propounded by some 
 other player, and of the purport of which he is, of course, ig- 
 norant. Then every player has to recite the question he re- 
 ceived from one player and the answer he got from the other, 
 and the ridiculous incongruity of these random cross questions 
 and crooked answers will frequently excite a good deal of 
 sport. One, for instance, may say: " I was asked ' If I con- 
 sidered dancing agreeable?' and the answer was: ' Yesterday 
 fortnight.'" Another may declare:, "I was asked 'If I had 
 seen the comet?' and the answer was: 'He was married last 
 year!' " A third: " I was asked ' What I liked best for dinner?' 
 and the answer was: ' The Emperor of China!' " 
 
 CONSEQUENCES. 
 This is a round game, to play at which the company must be 
 seated at a table. Each player has before him, or her, a long, 
 narrow piece of writing paper and a pencil. At the top of the 
 paper each writes a quality of a gentleman. " The fickle," for 
 instance, or "the insinuating," or "the handsome," "the 
 ugly," or any epithet, in fact, that may occur to the mind at 
 the moment. But nobody may see what the neighbors to the 
 right and left have written. The top of each paper is then folded 
 down, so as to hide what has been written, and each one passes 
 his paper to his neighbor on the right, so that every player has 
 now a new paper before him. One this he writes a gentleman's 
 name; if that of one of the gentlemen in the company, so 
 much the better. Again the papers are passed to the right af- 
 ter being folded over; the beauty of the game being that no 
 one may write two consecutive sentences on the same paper. 
 The quality of a lady is now written. Fold, and pass the pa- 
 per — The lady's name — then where they met — what he said to 
 her — what she said to him, — the consequence — and what ths 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 37 
 
 world said. The papers are now unfolded in succession, and 
 the contents read, and the queerest cross questions and crooked 
 answers are almost sure to result. For instance, the following 
 will be a specimen: — "The conceited Mr. Jones (one of the 
 company) and the accomplished Miss Smith met on the top of 
 an omnibus. He said to her: ' Will you love me then as now?' 
 She said to him: 'How very kind you are;' the consequence 
 was, 'they separated forever,' and the world said: 'Serve 
 them right.' " Another strip, on being unfolded, may produce 
 some such legend as this: — " The amiable Artemus Ward and 
 the objectionable Mrs. Grundy met on the mall at the Central 
 Park. He said to her: ' How do I look?' She said to him: ' Do 
 it;' the consequence was 'a secret marriage,' and the world 
 said: ' We knew how it would be.' " 
 
 I LOVE MY LOVE WITH AN A 
 Is a well-known game, but it must be kept up briskly; for if 
 too much time be allowed the players for deliberation, the in- 
 terest flags at once, and the sport becomes dull. "The very 
 defect of the matter," as Launcelot Gobbo would say, lies in 
 quickly finding epithets beginning with any given letter of the 
 alphabet, such as A, B, or C, and the penalty for failure is a 
 forfeit. The company sit around, and each has to love nis or 
 her love with a different letter. The first (we will say a lady) 
 begins — " I love my love with an A, because he's amiable. I 
 hate him with an A, because he's arrogant ; he took me to the 
 sign of the ' Artichoke,' and treated me with apples and ale." 
 "Hove my love with a B," continues the second, "because 
 she's beautiful. I hate her with a B, because she's bounceable. 
 I took her to the sign of the ' Brown Bear,' and treated her 
 with bread and butter, and beer." "I love my love with a 
 C," says a third, " because he's candid. I hate him with a C, 
 because he's captious. He took me to the sign of the ' Cart- 
 horse,' and treated me to curds and cream." And so the game 
 goes on through all the letters of the alphabet, with the excep- 
 tion of poor X, for the very good reason that no English word 
 begins with that unfortunate letter. Instead of going regu- 
 larly around the circle, it is better that each player should 
 have the power, after "loving his love," to call upon any one 
 of the rest to continue the game. % 
 
88 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 COMPLIMENTS. 
 
 A circle is formed; a gentleman and lady sitting alternate- 
 ly. Politeness demands that the game should be commenced 
 by a lady. 
 
 "I should like," she says, " to be such or such an animal." 
 (The more abject or disgusting this animal is, the more dif- 
 ficult is it to invent the compliment which the lady has the 
 right to expect.) 
 
 Suppose, for example, she has chosen the hornet. She in- 
 quires of her left hand neighbor if he knows why she has made 
 so strange a choice. 
 
 The latter, who is not expected to pay her a compliment, re- 
 plies simply, from the well known nature of the animal : ' ' Be- 
 cause you wish that all living beings should avoid the place 
 where you have chosen your abode." 
 
 The lady inquires of her right hand neighbor: " What ad- 
 vantage would I find in this transformation?" 
 
 Answer. That of escaping from a crowd of admirers whom 
 your modesty makes you look upon as importunate. 
 
 If the gentleman first addressed pays the lady a compliment, 
 or if the second fails to do so, both pay a forfeit. 
 
 Then it becomes the turn of him who pays the compliment to 
 form a wish. 
 
 He expresses, for example, a desire to be a goose. Then he 
 asks the lady whom he has just complimented if she can divine 
 what can be his motive? "It is," she replies, "that you may 
 inhabit indifferently either the land or the water." Then ad- 
 dressing himself to the lady on his right hand, he says: " What 
 advantage would I find in such a metamorphis?" " The hope 
 so dear to your heart of one day saving your country, as the 
 geese of the capitol once saved Rome." 
 
 One round is enough at this game, because nothing is more 
 tiresome than compliments, when prolonged, however much 
 they may be merited. It is necessary, however,, to com- 
 plete the entire round, in order to deprive no one of his or 
 her turn, as the little part each plays is always flattering to 
 the vanity, even of those among the company the least sus- 
 ceptible of it. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. S9 
 THE THREE KINGDOMS. 
 
 The player who has proposed the game withdraws into an 
 adjoining chamber, while the rest of the company agree 
 upon an object that he must guess. 
 
 When the word is agreed upon they recall him ; he has the 
 right to ask twelve questions, which refer at first to the king- 
 dom to which the object belongs that is expressed by the word 
 [ selected, upon the present condition of this object, the country 
 i where it is most frequently found, and finally, upon the 
 metamorphosis which it has undergone, its use and its quali- 
 ties. 
 
 The players should answer in a manner calculated to describe 
 the object, yet not too plainly. But, on the other hand, those 
 who give false notions of the object are liable to the penalty of 
 a forfeit. The questioner, who, after twelve answers which 
 are recognized as satisfactory by the company, fails to guess 
 the object, pays a forfeit in his turn, and withdraws a second 
 time, while the rest of the players agree upon another word, 
 which he must try to guess in the same manner. 
 
 EXAMPLE. 
 
 The questioner, having heard the signal, re-enters, and 
 directs his questions somewhat in this manner: 
 
 1. " To what kingdom does the object thought of belong?" 
 One of the players answers: "To the Vegetable Kingdom, 
 
 and no other." 
 
 2. "Is it growing at present, or put to use?" 
 "Put to use." 
 
 3. "Is it an article of furniture?" 
 "No." 
 
 I 4. " What use is it commonly put to?" 
 
 " It is commonly covered, at regular intervals, with a fluid 
 of a color completely opposite to its own." 
 
 5. "In what places is it most commonly produced?" 
 " In New England, New York, and New Jersey." 
 
 6. " Ah, I know that it is not linen, for neither of these states 
 is celebrated for that article." 
 
 "No, but linen had something to do with it." 
 
 7. " What metamorphosis has it undergone?" 
 
 " A very great one. It has been cast into the water, beaten, 
 
SO HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 crushed, reduced to pulp, and then, reunited into a solid body, 
 such as we see it every day." 
 
 8. "It is Paper, then?" 
 
 " You have guessed it." 
 
 The player whose answer leads the questioner to guess the 
 riddle, then pays a forfeit, and becomes the questioner in his 
 turn. 
 
 Let us suppose that he is endeavoring to divine the object 
 next thought of, he begins with the same question as his pre- 
 decessor. 
 
 1. "To what kingdom does it belong?" 
 " To the three kingdoms." 
 
 2. "Is it put to use then?" 
 "Yes." 
 
 3. " Is it an article of furniture?" 
 ^Portable furniture." 
 
 4. " What is its ordinary use?" 
 " To guard against dampness." 
 
 One player here makes the observation fchat this reply is not 
 exact, and that the respondent owes a forfeit. 
 
 The latter replies: 
 
 " Why, if I said it shielded from the rain, he would guess it 
 without difficulty." 
 
 The questioner replies hastily: 
 
 " It is an umbrella." 
 
 " There ! I could not save my forfeit; it is very annoying." 
 
 " Go — go into the next room; it is your turn to guess." 
 
 The umbrella, in truth, belongs to the animal kingdom by 
 its silk covering and its whalebone frame, to the mineral king- 
 dom by its fastenings of copper and of steel wire, and to the 
 vegetable kingdom by its handle, of what wood soever it may 
 be made. 
 
 Paper made of old rags is of the vegetable kingdom purely, 
 since the linen is made of hemp or flax, and muslin and calico 
 &re made of cotton, which belong to the vegetable kingdom. 
 
 THE TRAVELER'S JOURNEY. 
 This game may be played by any number of persons. 
 One of the party announces himself the traveler, and about 
 to make a little tour. He calls upon any of the party for in- 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 31 
 
 formation respecting the objects of the greatest interest to ba 
 noticed in the different towns and villages through which he 
 intends passing. 
 
 He is given an empty bag, and to each of the persons joining 
 in the game are distributed sets of counters with numbers on. 
 Thus, if twelve persons were playing, the counters required 
 would be up to number twelve, and a set of ones would be giv- 
 en to the first person, twos to the second, threes to the third, 
 and so on. 
 
 When the traveler announces the name of the place he in- 
 tends stopping at, the first person is at liberty to give any in- 
 formation, or make any remark respecting it ; if he cannot do 
 so, the second person has the chance, or the third, or it passes 
 on until some one is able to speak concerning it. If the trav- 
 eler considers it correct information, or worthy of notice, he 
 takes from the person one of his counters, as a pledge of the 
 obligation he is under to him. The next person in order to the 
 one who spoke last is to proceed, so as not each time to begin 
 with number one. If no one of the party speaks the traveler 
 may consider there is nothing worthy of notice at the place he 
 has announced, and he then passes on to another. 
 
 After he has reached his destination, he turns out his bag to 
 see who has given him the greatest amount of information, and 
 that person is considered to have won the game, and is entitled 
 to be the traveler in the next game. 
 
 If it should happen that two or more persons should have 
 given the same number of counters, those persons are to be al- 
 lowed in succession to assist the -traveler and deposit their 
 pledges, until one alone remains. 
 
 FORFEITS. 
 
 1. POETIC NUMBERS. 
 
 Repeat a passage of poetry, counting the words aloud as 
 you proceed, thus: 
 
 Full (one) many (two) a (three) flower (four) is (five) born 
 (six) to (seven) blush (eight) unseen (nine) and (ten) waste 
 (eleven) its (twelve) sweetness (thirteen) in (fourteen) the (fif- 
 teen) desert (sixteen) air (seventeen) ! This will prove a great 
 puzzle to many, and afford considerable amusement. 
 
S3 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 2. BABY MINE. 
 
 ■ Yawn until you make several others in the room yawn. 
 
 [This can be done well by one person who can imitate yawn- 
 ing well, and it will afford indescribable mirth. It should be 
 allotted to one of the male sex, with a large mouth, and a 
 somber or heavy appearance, if such a one can be found in 
 the party.] 
 
 3. THE MENDICANT. 
 
 A penance to be inflicted on gentlemen only. The penitent 
 takes a staff, and approaches a lady. He falls on his knees be- 
 fore her, and thumping his staff on the ground, implores 
 "Charity." The lady, touched by the poor man's distress, 
 asks him: "Do you want bread?" "Do you want water?" 
 " Do you want a half -cent?" etc., etc. To all questions such as 
 these the Beggar replies by thumping his staff on the ground 
 impatiently. At length the lady says: "Do you want a kiss?" 
 At these words the Beggar jumps up and kisses the lady. 
 
 4. THE PILGRIM. 
 
 The Pilgrim is very like the Beggar. A gentleman conducts 
 a lady around the circle, saying to each member of it, if a 
 gentleman, " A kiss for my sister, and a morsel of bread for 
 me." If a lady, "A morsel of bread for my sister, and a kiss 
 for me." The bread is of no particular importance, but the 
 kiss is indispensable. 
 
 5. THE EGOTIST. 
 
 Propose your own health in a complimentary speech, and 
 sing the musical honors. 
 
 6. OLD GIMP. 
 
 Hold one ankle in one hand, and walk around the room. 
 [This is suited only to gentlemen.] 
 
 7. THE MIMICRY. 
 
 If a gentleman, he must put on a lady's bonnet, and imitate 
 the voice of the lady to whom it belongs; if a lady, then a 
 gentleman's hat, etc. Sometimes these imitations are very 
 humorous. A sentence often used by a person imitated should 
 be chosen. 
 
 8. GOING TO WORK. 
 
 Go to service; apply to the person who holds the forfeits for 
 a place; say, " as maid of all work." The questions then to be 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 88 
 
 asked are: " How do you wash?" "How do you iron?" "How 
 do you make a bed?" " How do you scrub the floor?" "How 
 do you clean knives and forks?" etc., etc. The whole of these 
 processes must be imitated by motions, and if the replies be 
 satisfactory-, the forfeit must be given up. 
 
 9. KISSING THE CANDLESTICK. 
 
 When ordered to kiss the candlestick, you politely request a 
 lady to hold the candle for j^ou. As soon as she has it in her 
 hand, she is supposed to be the candlestick, and you, of course, 
 kiss her. 
 
 10. THE DISAPPOINTMENT. 
 
 A lady advances towards the penitent, as if to kiss him, and 
 when close to him, turns quietly around and allows the expect- 
 ed kiss to ba taken by her nearest neighbor. 
 
 11. THE GARDENER'S PICK. 
 
 Choose three flowers. Example: Pink, Fuchsia and Lily. 
 Two of the party must then privately agree to the three per- 
 sons of the f orf eiter 's acquaintance to be severally represented 
 by the flowers. Then proceed: What will you do with Pink? 
 Dip it in the water! What with the Fuchsia? Dry it, and 
 keep it as a curiosity ! What with the Lily? Keep it until it 
 is dead, and then throw it away! The three names identified 
 by the flowers are now to be told, and their fate will excite 
 much merriment. 
 
 12. THE FOOL'S LEAP. 
 
 Put two chairs back to back, take off your shoes, and jump 
 over them. (The fun consists in the mistaken idea that the 
 chairs are to be jumped over, whereas it is only the shoes.) 
 
 13. TO KISS THE ONE YOU LOVE BEST WITHOUT ITS BEING NOTICED. 
 
 Kissing all the ladies in the company one after another with- 
 out any distinction. 
 
 11. THE TWO GUESSES. 
 
 Place your hands behind you and guess who touches them. 
 You are not to be released until you guess right. 
 
 The person who owns the forfeit is to be blindf old ; a glass of 
 water and a teaspoon are then to be got, and a teaspoonful 
 given alternately by the members of the company until the per- 
 son blindf olded guesses aright. 
 
34 MOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 15. THE BANISHED ONE. 
 
 The penitent sent into exile takes up his position in the part 
 of the room the most distant from the rest of the company — 
 with whom he is forbidden to communicate. From there he is 
 compelled to fix the penance to be performed by the owner of 
 the next forfeit, till the accomplishment of which he may on 
 no account leave his place. This may be prolonged for several 
 turns. The last penitent, as soon as he has acquitted himself 
 satisfactorily, takes the place of the exile and passes sentence 
 on the next. 
 
 16. the "b" hive. 
 
 Repeat, without stopping, " Bandy-legg'd Borachio Musta- 
 chio Whiskenfusticus the bold and brave Bombardino of Bag- 
 dad helped Abemilique Blue Beard Bashaw of Babelmandeb to 
 beat down a bumble-bee at Balsora." 
 
 17. THE FAVORITE FORFEIT. 
 
 Kneel to the wittiest, bow to the prettiest, and kiss the one 
 you love the best. 
 
 18. JINGLE- J ANGLE. 
 
 Repeat the following: 
 
 " Robert Rowley rolled a round roll round, 
 
 A round roll Robert Rowley rolled round, 
 
 Where is the round roll Robert Rowley rolled round f 
 
 . 19. THE IMAGE OF LOVE. 
 
 The player who owns the forfeit cried, takes a candle in his 
 hand and is led by another U, one end of the room, where he 
 must stand and represent the image of love ; one of the players 
 now walks up and requests him to fetch some lady, whose 
 name he now whispers in love's ear; the image, still holding a 
 candle, proceeds to execute his commission, and brings the 
 lady with him ; she in turn desires him to fetch some gentle- 
 man, and so it continues, till all have been summoned. The 
 players brought up by love must not return to their seats, but 
 stand in a group around love's standing-place, until he has 
 brought the last person in the company, when they hiss him 
 most vigorously, and the forfeit terminates. 
 
 30. THE CHANCE KISS. 
 
 The penitent takes from a paek of cards the four kings and 
 
HO W TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 36 
 
 the four queens, shuffles them, and, without looking at them, 
 distributes them to a proportionate number of ladies and gen- 
 tlemen. The gentleman finding himself possessed of the king 
 of hearts kisses the lady holding the queen, and so on with 
 
 the rest. 
 
 21. THE BLIND QUADRILLE. 
 
 This is performed when a great number of forfeits are to be 
 disposed of. A quadrille is danced by eight of the company 
 with their eyes blindfolded, and as they are certain to become 
 completely bewildered during the figures, it always affords in 
 finite amusement to the spectators. 
 
 22. THE TURNED HEAD. 
 
 This penalty should be imposed upon a lady. The fair one, 
 whose head is to be turned, is invested with as many wrappings 
 as possible, but every cloak, shawl, victorine, etc, is to be put 
 on hind side before, so as to present the appearance of " a 
 turned head." She should be furnished with a muff, which she 
 must hold behind her as much as possible in the usual manner, 
 but her bonnet must be put on in the usual way. Thus equip- 
 ped, she must enter the room walking backwards, and until 
 her punishment is at an end, must continue to move in the same 
 way. 
 
 23. POPPING THE QUESTION. 
 
 The gentleman condemned to this penalty must place him- 
 self upon his knees before the lady, who is pointed out to him, 
 or whom he loves the best, and declare hi3 passion for her in 
 inpromptu verses. 
 
 Example. 
 
 In spite of your coldness, 
 
 I love you, my dear; 
 If love is a crime, 
 
 See the guilty one here. 
 
 24. THE COMPARISON. 
 
 As a penalty a person is directed to compare any of the 
 company to some object or other, and then to explain in what 
 he resembles this object, and in what he differs from it. 
 
 A lady compares a gentleman to a sheet of white paper. 
 
 He resembles it in the facility with which he receives the 
 first impression ; he differs from it in the readiness wit»k which 
 
33 MOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 he receives a crowd of impressions, in succession, which efface 
 each other in their turn. 
 
 A gentleman compares a lady to a clock ; like this piece of 
 furniture, she adorns the place which she occupies ; she differs 
 from it in rendering us forgetful of the hours which it recalls. 
 
 25. THE SIGN. 
 
 It differs from the comparison in this, that it offers an intel- 
 lectual resemblance only between the person and the object. 
 
 A young gentleman names the Salamander as the emblem 
 for a lady. "Why?" asks the latter. "Because you live 
 tranquilly amid the flames which devour all that approach 
 you." 
 
 A lady gives a Well as an emblem of a learned man who is 
 somewhat uncommunicative. " It is deep," she says, " but it 
 is necessary to draw from it what it contains." 
 
 26. THE SPIRIT OF CONTRADICTION. 
 
 To perform this penalty it is necessary to execute the reverse 
 of the orders received from the company. Happy the man 
 to whom the ladies say, that they don't want to kiss him. 
 
 27. THE TRIP TO PARIS. 
 
 A gentleman holding a white handkerchief in his hand is led 
 around the circle by the person paying the forfeit, who holds 
 in his hand a lighted candle. 
 
 The gentleman holding the handkerchief kisses all the ladies 
 in turn, and with an air of great politeness, wipes the lips of 
 his guide, who remains an idle spectator of a scene not a little 
 vexatious to him. 
 
 28. BROKERAGE OF KISSES. 
 
 This penalty should be inflicted upon a lady. She who is di- 
 rected to perform it chooses a female friend ; she then presents 
 herself to a gentleman who kisses her, and she then carries 
 the kiss to her companion. This may be repeated as many 
 times as there are gentlemen in the company. 
 
 29. SHOOT THE ROBIN. 
 
 This is done by blindfolding the owner of the forfeit, and 
 leading him to a part of the room where a sheet of paper or a 
 handkerchief has been pinned to the wall. He is directed then 
 to shoot th© robin, which he must do by starting forward, ex- 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY, 87 
 
 tend his right arm, and pointing his finger so as to touch the 
 sheet of paper. Whenever he succeeds in doing so, his forfeit 
 is restored. His finger had better be blackened with a coal, or 
 burnt cork, or something that will leave a mark on the paper. 
 
 30. THE IDIOTIC KISS. 
 
 Kiss both the inside and the outside of a reticule, without 
 f opening it. This can only be done when the drawing string 
 of the reticule is some distance from the top, and when the 
 lining appears above it. When you kiss the lining of the flaps 
 or scollops at the top of the reticule, then you may be said to 
 kiss the inside ; or hang the reticule against the wall, and kiss 
 the side that is out and the side that is in, or next the wall. 
 
 CARD AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 HOW TO NAIL A CARD TO THE WALL BY A 
 PISTOL SHOT. 
 A card is desired to be drawn, and the person who chooses 
 it is requested to tear off a corner and to keep it, that he may 
 know the card — the card so torn is then burnt to cinders, and 
 a pistol is charged with gunpowder, with which the ashes of 
 the card are mixed. Instead of a ball a nail is put into the bar- 
 rel, which is marked by some of the company. The pack is 
 then marked by some of the company. The pack is then 
 thrown up into the air, the pistol is fired, and the card appears 
 nailed against the wall — the bit of the card is then compared 
 with it, and is found exactly to fit, and the nail which fastens 
 it to the wall is recognized by the person who marked it. 
 
 EXPLANATION. 
 
 When the performer sees that a corner has been torn from 
 the chosen card, he retires, and makes a similar tear on a like 
 card. Returning on the theater, he asks for the chosen card, 
 and passes it to the bottom of the pack, and substitutes expert- 
 ly in the place the card which he has prepared, which he burns 
 instead of the first. When the pistol is loaded he takes it in his 
 hand under the pretence of showing how to direct it, etc. He 
 avails himself of this opportunity to open a hole in the barrel 
 near the touch-hole, through which th© nail falls by its own 
 
38 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 weight into his hands; having shut this passage, he requests 
 one of the company to put more powder and wadding into the 
 pistol; whilst this is doing, he carries the nail and card to his 
 confederate, who quickly nails the card to a piece of square 
 wood, which stops, hermetically, a space left open in the par- 
 tition, and in the tapestry, similar to the rest of the room, and 
 by which means, when the nailed card is put in, it is not per- 
 ceived ; the piece of tapestry which covers it, is nicely fastened 
 on, the one end of which the confederate holds in his hand. As 
 soon as the report of the pistol is heard, the confederate draws 
 his thread, by which means the piece of tapestry falls behind a 
 glass — the card appears the same that was marked — and with 
 the nail that was put in the pistol. It is not astonishing that 
 this trick, being so difficult by its complexion to be guessed at, 
 should receive such universal applause. N. B. — After the pistol 
 has been charged with powder, a tin tube may be slipped upon 
 the charge, into which the nail being rammed along with the 
 wadding, by inclining it a little in presenting to one of the 
 spectators to fire, the tube and contents will fall into the per- 
 former's hand to convey to his confederate. If any one sus- 
 pects that the nail has been stolen out of the pistol, you persist 
 to the contrary, and beg the company at the next exhibition 
 to be further convinced; you then are to show a pistol, which 
 is marked by some person in confederacy with you, or you 
 show it to many people on purpose to avoid its being marked. 
 In this case the card is nailed with another nail, but to persuade 
 the company that it is the same, you boldly assert that the 
 nail was marked by several persons, and you request the spec- 
 tators to view it, and be convinced. 
 
 CHANGING A CARD BY WORDS. 
 You must have two cards of the same sort in the pack, say 
 the king of spades. Place one next the bottom card (say seven 
 of hearts) and the other at the top. Shuffle the cards without 
 displacing those three, and show a person that the bottom 
 card is the seven of hearts. This card you dexterously slip 
 aside with your finger, which you have previously wetted, and 
 taking the king of spades from the bottom, which the person 
 supposes to be the seven of hearts, laying it on the table tell- 
 ing him to cover it with his hand. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. & 
 
 Shuffle the cards again without displacing the first and last 
 card, and shifting the other king of spades from the top 
 to the bottom, show it to another person. You then draw 
 that privately away, and taking the bottom card, which will 
 then be the seven of hearts, you then lay that on the table and 
 tell the second person (who believes it is the king of spades) to 
 cover it with his hand. 
 
 You then command the cards to change places; and when 
 the two parties take off their hands and turn up their cards, 
 they will see, to their great astonishment, that your commands 
 are obeyed. 
 
 TO MAKE A CARD WHICH A PERSON HAS DRAWN 
 DANCE ON THE WALL. 
 
 One of the company is desired to draw a card, which you 
 shuffle again with the others ; and it not being found in the 
 pack, you then order it to appear on the wall. The very card 
 which was drawn instantly obeys ; then advancing by degrees, 
 and according to orders, it ascends in a straight line from right 
 to left, and disappears on top of the wall. 
 
 Soon after it appears again and continues to dance on a hori- 
 zontal line. (See explanation to the card secured in a box.) 
 TO CHANGE A CARD SECURED IN A BOX. 
 
 You ask a person to give you any card he pleases out of the 
 pack, and you let him put it into a box which is locked up be- 
 fore the company. You then take a few cards and desire an- 
 other to draw one and remember it, which he does, and the 
 cards are laid aside. You now unlock the box and the card 
 which the second person drew is in the box instead of the one 
 which is locked up. 
 
 EXPLANATION. 
 
 A box must be made on purpose with a double bottom; on 
 the false one is laid the card which the first person chose. 
 
 In locking the box, by a secret spring, the false bottom is 
 raised with the card, and firmly united to that part where the 
 hinges are. On the real bottom lies another card, which had 
 been previously and secretly deposited there. 
 
 In making a person draw a card a duplicate of this is forced 
 upon him ; for if he attempts to draw another, under some 
 pretence you shuffle the cards again, till at last he takes the 
 
49 ROW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 very card you intend for him. This card you know by feeling 
 it, it being purposely longer than any of the rest, and is in fact 
 a conjurer's secret card. You must never let one of those par- 
 ticular or brief cards remain in a pack when you give it to bo 
 examined. 
 
 N. B. This trick may be varied. A dollar bill can be changed 
 into a five dollar bill, etc. , but it ought to be something which 
 will lie in a narrow compass, in order that the false bottom 
 may fall closely into its place. Formerly bird seed was con- 
 verted into a living bird by false lids, but these are more liable 
 to detection than false bottoms ; on the false lid bird seed was 
 glued, and the box when shown to the company appeared to 
 be full thereof. By drawing up the false lid close to the real 
 one, a bird which had been previously placed there is then dis- 
 covered. The false bottoms are certainly preferable. 
 
 TO TELL THE NAMES OF ALL THE CARDS IN THE 
 PACK BEFORE YOU SEE THEM. 
 Take a pack of cards, and after you have shuffled them, lay 
 them down on the table with the backs uppermost, then say: 
 " Now I will tell you the names of all the cards in the pack, 
 except one, before I see them." Having said so, draw off the 
 uppermost card and say: " This is my partner. This is he by 
 whose assistance I shall discover all the rest of the cards in the 
 pack." Then put him to your mouth, as though you charmed 
 him, and repeat some magic words ; and taking off the next 
 card from the pack, say: " there is my partner," naming the 
 Jack of clubs or any other card laid down, and thus proceed 
 until you tell each card in the pack before you see them. 
 
 THE KNAVES AND THE CONSTABLE. 
 Select the four knaves from a pack of cards, and either of 
 the kings to act as constable. Conceal one of the knaves at 
 the bottom of the pack, and lay the other three with the con- 
 stable down upon the table. Then say: " Three knaves went 
 to rob a house; one got in at the parlor window" (putting one 
 knave at the bottom of the pack, taking care not to lift the 
 pack so high that the knave already at the bottom can be 
 seen), "one got in the first floor window" (putting another 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 41 
 
 knave into the middle of the pack), " and one got in at the gar- 
 ret window" (putting the third knave in at the top of the 
 pack.) "The constable, being determined to capture them, 
 closely follows the last knave" (putting the king also upon the 
 top of the pack.) You then direct as many of the company 
 to cut the cards as you please, and you state that you have no 
 doubt the constable has succeeded in catching them, which 
 will be evident upon your spreading out the pack in your 
 hands, as the king and three knaves will be found together. A 
 very little dexterity only is necessary to enable you to convey 
 a knave secretly to the bottom of the pack. 
 
 TURN-OVER FEAT. 
 When you have found a card chosen, which you have pre- 
 viously forced, or any card that has been drawn, and which 
 you have discovered by the means before described, in order 
 to finish your trick cleverly, convey the card privately to the 
 top of the pack; get all the other cards even with each other, 
 but let the edge of your top card project a little over the rest; 
 hold them between your finger and thumb, about two feet 
 from the table ; let them drop, and the top card (which must 
 be, as we have said, the one drawn) will fall with its face up- 
 permost, and all the rest with their faces towards the table. 
 
 BLIND INTUITION. 
 Take twenty -one cards, and lay them down in three rows, 
 with their faces upward ; i. e. , when you have laid out three, 
 begin again at the left hand, and lay one card upon the first, 
 and so on to the right hand ; then begin on the left hand again, 
 and so on until you have laid out twenty -one cards in three 
 heaps, at the same time requesting any one to think of a card. 
 When you have laid them out, ask him which heap his card is 
 in ; then lay that heap in the middle between the other two. 
 This done, lay them out in three heaps as before, and again re- 
 quest him to notice where his noted card goes, and put that 
 iheap in the middle as before. Then, taking up the cards with 
 their backs towards you, take off the uppermost card, and 
 reckon it one ; take off another, which reckon two ; and thus 
 preeeed until yeu eeme te the eleventh, whieh will invariably 
 
43 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 be the card thought of. You must never lay out your cards 
 less than three times, but as often above that number as you 
 please. This trick may be done without your seeing the cards 
 at all, if you handle and count them carefully. To diversify 
 the trick, you must use a different number of cards, but the 
 number chosen must be divisible by three, and the middle 
 card, after they have been dealt thrice as directed, will always 
 be the one thought of; for instance, if done with fifteen cards, 
 it must be the eight, and so on ; when the number is even, it 
 must be the exact half; as, if it be twenty-four, the card 
 thought of will be the twelfth, etc. 
 
 THE SECRET SEVEN. 
 Desire a person to remember a card and its place in the 
 pack; then, in a dexterous manner, convey a certain number 
 of cards from the top to the bottom, and subtract them, in 
 3 r our mind, from the number of the pack ; for example, the 
 pack consists of fifty-two cards, and you have conveyed seven 
 to the bottom ; tell the person the card he has thought of will 
 be the forty-fifth, reckoning from the number of the card, 
 the place of which he has to name; thus, if he says it is the 
 ninth, you go on counting nine, ten, eleven, etc., and the card 
 he thought of will be exactly the forty-fifth as you announc- 
 ed. 
 
 THE CHOSEN ONE OF FORTY-EIGHT DISCOVERED. 
 
 Take forty-eight cards, and beginning at the left top corner, 
 deal them out in six rows of eight each ; then, as they lie upon 
 the table, there will be eight lines of six each the one way, and 
 six of eight each the other way. The first we will call lines, 
 and the other rows ; and this distinction being clearly under- 
 stood, we may now begin " to show the trick." Ask one of the 
 company to choose a card. This done, ask which line it is in. 
 When answered, be particular to remember the top card of the 
 line, for this one card is the key to the whole trick — so " don't 
 forget it." The cards are now to be taken up exactly in the 
 reverse order to that in which they were laid down. That is, 
 you begin at the right bottom comer, picking the cards up to 
 the right top corner. This done, the pack must be again dis- 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 43 
 
 tributed in the same order as before, and the question: " Which 
 line is the chosen card in?" repeated. Receiving the reply, you 
 can instantly fix on the chosen card. The explanation is this: 
 Remember the top card of the line the card is stated to be in. 
 Then, when the pack is again laid out, it will be observed that 
 all the cards that previously were in a line, one under the 
 other, are now all in a row, side by side of each other. Now, 
 seeing the position of the key card, that is, the one you had 
 specially to remember, you will know that all the cards be- 
 longing to the line of which it was the topmost, now follow it 
 in a row ; consequently, the six cards that were in one line, are 
 now distributed or divided into six lines, one of its cards falling 
 into each of the following lines. When the reply is given to the 
 second interrogation, the card thought of can be instantly pick- 
 ed out, because the line now given only contains one that was 
 in the original line ; consequently, the card that is now in it, 
 and which also formed part of the original line, must be the 
 one chosen. After a little practice, half-a-dozen people may 
 each choose a card at the same time, and you will be perfectly 
 able to reveal all. 
 
 Observe — that (after the cards have been arranged the second 
 time) when the line containing the chosen card is on the right 
 of the key card, the chosen card will be in the row above the 
 key card. But when the chosen card is to the left of the key 
 card it will be found in the same row. 
 
 TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON DRAW THE CARDS YOU 
 DESIRE. 
 
 Take the cards, shuffle them, and spread them out, face 
 downwards, upon the table, without entirely separating them. 
 Before doing this, however, you must carefully note the bottom 
 card. 
 
 You now say to the person to whom you wish to display 
 your skill: " I will now ask you to give me certain cards, 
 which I will name to you beforehand. The cards which I ask 
 for, you must give me from this heap, the faces of which neith- 
 er you nor I have seen, and yet in the end I shall have all the 
 cards that I direct you to give me." 
 
 The person you address will, of course, be very much aston- 
 
44 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 Ished at this, and will refuse to believe you. You assume a 
 confident air, however, saying: " Look sharp!" 
 
 You then call for the card which you know is the undermost 
 one, say the seven of hearts. Suppose, now, the person gives you 
 the queen of spades, you boldly call out for your next card: 
 "Queen of spades!" the other not knowing that you have it 
 already in your hand. He gives you, perhaps, the king of 
 hearts, and you at once ask for this as your next card. He now 
 gives you the ace of clubs. In this way you can ask for any 
 number of cards, but these are enough for explanation. Now 
 you say: " The last card that I want is the ace of clubs, but 
 this I will find out for myself, by means of my very nice sense 
 of smell." v 
 
 Hereupon, with a grave face, you commence shuffling around 
 among the cards, until you reach the bottom one, which is the 
 seven of hearts. This you take from the table, place it first in 
 order among the cards in your hand, and you are now able to 
 display all the cards that you have directed him to give you. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 45 
 
 Dramas for Home Amusement, 
 
 Among the best ways of amusing an evening party is by 
 social dramas, requiring little or no scenery, and scarcely any 
 expenditure in the way of stage setting or costumes. 
 
 Any room may be turned into a family theater, by simply 
 placing a curtain across it arranged to run on a wire, this 
 serving as a dividing line between the stage and the audience. 
 
 As to instructions in regard to make up and expression of 
 passions, we believe in leaving the amateur actor to his own 
 resources, as all have more or less ideas in regard to the mat- 
 ter. 
 
 If, however, any of the readers choose to pursue the matter 
 further, they will find complete instructions in " On the Stage; 
 or, How to Become an Actor," published by us at the small 
 price of fifteen cents. 
 
 With this brief preface we place before our readers a few 
 carefully selected dramas, dialogues and stump speeches for 
 home delineation. 
 
 MAD WITH A METHOD. 
 
 A Farcical Sketch for the Drawing-room and Variety 
 Stage. 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 Lucy Lawton — opera mad. George Melville — artist mad. 
 Servant — invisibly mad. 
 
 Scene — Drawing-room,— pretty furniture. Table and Chair 
 R., same L. 
 
 (Lucy speaks without, C) 
 Lucy. I won't, ma; I declare it's just too mean. There! 
 [Enter Lucy,C. D., elegantly dressed.] I do think that of 
 all horrid creatures an artist is the very worst. Bah! I know 
 he's after the money poor, dear papa left me; and just because 
 his late father was an old sweetheart of mama's, she's made up 
 her mind that I shall marry him, and I've made up mine not 
 to do anything of the sort. Just imagine my marrying a man 
 I have never seen. I don't want to wed; and, least of all, 
 
46 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 George Melville. I mean to die an old maid if I can't be an 
 opera singer. I can almost fancy I am one now. [Rushes fra n- 
 tically into an operatic scene — burlesquing the acting and sing- 
 ing at the top of her voice.] It's just too mean for a girl with 
 all my talent to be hidden away in private lif e, and least of all, 
 with a poor painter. I wish I knew some way to disgust him. 
 [Thinking.'] I have the very plan at my fingers' ends. [Quickly.] 
 I'll frighten the brute so he'll never come here again. 
 
 Servant. (Without.) Mr. George Melville ! 
 
 Lucy. (In a flutter.) Oh, dear! I declare he's here, and ma's 
 gone out. What shall I do? My first plan! — there's no one to 
 tell him any different. I'll be raving, distracted mad. I'll be 
 a lunatic — that's what I will ! 
 
 [Exit Lucy hastily, L. 1 E. Enter very slowly and deliber- 
 ately George Melville, CD. He has a satchel in his hand, and 
 a dressing gown thrown over his arm.] 
 
 George. (Coming down C.) Halloo! no one here to receive me. 
 Nice company! [Bowing to the furniture, with mock gravity.] 
 Good evening, Miss Chair ; you are looking better than ever I 
 saw you before. Madame Table, you are coming along nicely. 
 Dreadful accident over at our house — your sister had her leg 
 amputated. [Laughs.] Egad! this is a jolly way to treat a fel- 
 low, I think. Wonder where the young lady is? [Makes a 
 grimace.] Pah! hope she won't show up at all; I'd feel a great 
 deal better towards her. My mother has got it into her head 
 that I must marry Miss Lucy Lawton ; whereupon her dutiful 
 son gets it into his head that he will do nothing of the sort. Of 
 course to declare this openly would bring down a storm of 
 wrath; so I've settled upon another plan: I'll make believe I'm 
 tearing mad — a lunatic ! then, of course she'll refuse to marry 
 me, and I shall go to Rome and complete my studies, for an 
 artist I am bound to be ! I've brought my duds along with me, 
 and now to lay the corner stone to my triumph. 
 
 [Brings in an easel and a painting from, CD. Takes paint 
 box from satchel, and lays them upon table, R. TJirows off 
 coat and hat, puts on dressing gown, draws up chair to the 
 easel, R., and begins to paint. 
 
 George. Now I am happy. 
 
 [Enter Lucy E. 1 L., dressed all in white, bearing a guitar. 
 Very romantic air — a la prima donna Italian opera. 
 
 Lucy. L. I'll be even with the wretch; he'll find no honey in 
 this beehive, but a raving, mad woman. [Sees him.] There he 
 is. [Starts.] Ah, I feel so frightened! Oh— oh! 
 
 [George turns and sees her start. 
 
 George. Phew! there she is. Oh, law! now for it. 
 
 [Begins painting furiously, making passes in the air with 
 the brush, but occasionally looking quickly over his shoulder 
 at Lucy, who sings softly and does the same business. As 
 their eyes meet, both start and turn away their heads. This 
 little piece of business can be made very telling in competent 
 hands, but should not be kept up too long to tire the audience 
 of it. 
 
 Lucy. (Aside.) I wonder what's the matter with him? 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 47 
 
 George. {Aside.) I'd like to know what ails her. 
 
 Lucy. (Aside.) He acts very strangely. 
 
 George. (Aside.) Don't she caper queerly? Now for it. 
 
 Lucy. (Aside.) Now I'm going to rave. 
 
 [George raises from his chair pretending madness; makes a 
 pass as painting a phantom picture in the air, and backing 
 looking at Lucy, to the center of the stage, while she does the 
 same, playing the guitar, singing and acting wildly. 
 
 George. Hush-sh-h! No — no — no! Armand, do not give it 
 to the world, let it die — die — die! [Aside.'] How is that for 
 high? [Aloud again.] It is my secret — mine! Down — down to 
 blazes, and sav I sent thee there; down — down — down! ha-ha- 
 ha! 
 
 [Strikes his back against Lucy's.] Ouch, the devil! 
 
 Lucy. Jimhry, he's crazy ! 
 
 George. (Turning quickly.) Crazy — ay, that's the word. 
 Crazy! Mad! — ha — ha — ha! [A side.] Jingo ! she believes I am 
 mad. You shall know all — all. 
 
 [Approaching her wildly, she suddenly lays down the guitar , 
 starts, and makespasses in the air. 
 
 Lucy. No — no — no — Cora, I will not give him up ; I love him, 
 he is mine— mine! Ha — ha— ha — mine! Off, wretch, off — off — 
 ha — ha — ha! 
 
 [Drops into chair L. George, horrified, falls into chair R. 
 This action can be so well acted as to be irresistibly funny, but 
 needs caref id practice and study. 
 
 George. Jumping bullfrogs — she is mad! Oh, this is no 
 joke. Here I am, playing mad to a crazy woman. [Begins 
 pjainting, furiously.] I wish I was out of this! 
 
 Lucy. Oh, my! here I am, pretending I am crazy to a real, 
 live lunatic. I'll have to keep it up. I've heard that lunatics 
 sympathize with one another; but I wish I could get out. 
 
 George. I suppose I had better keep up the madness, then she 
 won't harm me, and it may pacify her a little. [Peeping at 
 her.] I never saw such staring eyes. How strange madness 
 affects some people. Mother told me she was good-looking. 
 
 Lucy. Isn't it terrible? I never would have believed that 
 lunacy could make a man so wretchedly ugly . Why, ma actu- 
 ally said that he was handsome. His mouth looks like a clam- 
 shell. 
 
 George. Phew! stag the windmill ears! She's a blooming 
 beauty to be called pretty. Wonder if she scratches? 
 
 Lucy. I'd like to laiow if he bites. What shall I do? I must 
 humor him or he'll rave. 
 
 George. If I don't have another fit, she won't think me crazy. 
 
 [Takes a mouthful of water, but does not swallow it. lie 
 prances around the stage, making wild antics, and then paus- 
 es C. , with his left arm out straight towards Lucy and the 
 right pointing towards the audience.] 
 
 Lucy. (Horrified.) Laws sake ! the man actually believes he's 
 a pump! Oh, dear! I must humor him. 
 
 [Goes to L. E.; gets a pail; crosses to George, C; hangs it 
 upon his right arm, seizes the left as the handle of a pump, 
 
48 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 and begins working it up and down. George glances horri- 
 fied, first at the audience then at Lucy, and squirts the wai- 
 ter from his mouth into the pail. She screams lightly, takes 
 it away, and puts it L. E. 
 
 George. This is the worst case I ever heard of. The woman 
 thinks me a pump! Terrible; and, after all, she is pretty. 
 
 Lucy. Oh! this is fearful! Poor fellow! he is so handsome, 
 too. Oh, dear — oh, dear! I feel as if I should like to scream! 
 
 [Gives a suppressed scream. George starts and turns to 
 her. She begins humming and playing an imaginary piano. 
 
 George. Eh? the woman really believes she's a musical in- 
 strument. If I don't humor her she may tear me to pieces. 
 
 [Takes a paint brush, crosses cautiously to Lucy, and sticks 
 one end in her ear and blows furiously upon the other, work- 
 ing his fingers as upon a fife.'] 
 
 Lucy. He thinks I'm a musical instrument ! 
 
 [Imitates a bagpipe playing a Scotch air, and glances over 
 her shoulder in fright at him. He shivers and gets into all 
 sorts of ludicrous positions while blowing. 
 
 George. This is terrible. Oh, if she were not mad, I'd marry 
 her at once. 
 
 Lucy. Poor fellow! if you were only sane, I know I should 
 love you. 
 
 George. {Hearing her). Sane! 
 
 {She screams and runs to chair, L. 
 
 Lucy. Oh, dear! 
 
 George. Sane! Why [Looks at her steadily. 
 
 Lucy. Yes. [Repeats the action. 
 
 George. She's not mad. Madame, you have been acting! 
 You are 
 
 Lucy. Not mad! [Drops into chair, L. 
 
 George. By Jingo? [Repeats the business into chair, R. 
 
 Thank Heaven, it has only been a ruse, [rises and comes td 
 C, extends arms] and if you can forgive it, Lucy 
 
 [She runs into his embrace.] I think, now, that neither you, 
 myself nor my kind friends in front will be sorry that we both 
 went mad— — 
 
 [Lucy. (Holding up her finger and smiling.) With a 
 method. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 49 
 
 POLITICS. 
 
 A Rattling Irish Farce. 
 
 characters. 
 
 Patrick Grady. Denis Halorahan. 
 
 Bbidget Grady. 
 
 Scene. — Ordinary room. Tables and chairs, L. Washtub, 
 
 C. by door. Cradle, R, and chum. Curtain rises. Dis- 
 , closes Bridget at table, 
 
 Bridget, Shure, an' it's the terrible loife I'm lading. There's 
 me husband, Patrick Graay, always off av a night to Casey's 
 getting blind drunk, an' rowlin' an' cavortin' home in the 
 morning, swearing that he's in wid the gang, an' that they're 
 goin' for to run him for alderman. A foine alderman it is that 
 he will make, with his shirt paping out av his coat, an' diYil a 
 sock to his f ut. Faith, I b^lave he's goin' ter the bad intirely. 
 He's gettin' so mighty high-choned av late, that he'll soon bea 
 riding down town in a stage, instead av standing on the 
 rear end av a truck. Oh, bad cess to the day that iver I 
 married him. 
 
 Enter Denis. 
 
 Denis. Well, Bridget? 
 
 Brid. Tt isn't well at all, brother Denis. 
 
 Den. "Where's Patrick? 
 
 BHd. Ax me something aisier. Down to Casey's. I suppose, 
 setting on top av a beer keg, an' swaring that he s the man 
 that's going to put Hayes out av the White House. 
 
 Den. On a drunk again? 
 
 Brid. Whin isn't he on a drunk? Shure, I'd be afther fear- 
 ing that he was ill if he should come home sober. 
 
 Den. It's a bad business, Bridget. 
 
 Brid. Ye are right. Ye see he's got his head crammed wid 
 politics. 
 
 Den. Pohtics, is it? 
 
 Brid. Yis ; he went an' pawned the stove to raise a banner 
 wid. Shure he thinks that he'll be a Congressman afore long, 
 an' ruin the prospects ov his childer intirely. 
 
 Den. Will he be home soon? 
 
 Brid. I'm expecting him every moment. Oh, Denny, I wish 
 ye wud rayson wid him. 
 
 Den. So I will, Bridget. His conduct, be Heaven, is scan- 
 dalous in the extreme ! 
 
 Brid. But don't be too hard wid him. Patrick manes well. 
 
 Den. I'll thrate him dacent. [Aside.] I'll kick the devil's left 
 lung out av him if he gives me any av his unpolite conversa- 
 tion. 
 
 Noise outside. Enter Patrick, staggering. Throws hat on 
 floor, and reels front. 
 Pat. May I inquire, Missus Grady, who's been putting 
 grease on the front piazzy? 
 
80 MOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 Brid. Nobody, Patrick. 
 
 Pat. (Severely.) Don't ye lie to me, Missus Grady. I may 
 be suffering undher a fit av despair, but I am not drunk, and 
 I have me feelings. Shure, an' I fell complately down on 
 that front piazzy. 
 
 Brid. Ye don't know what ye are saying, Patrick. 
 
 Pat. (Looking at Denis.) How long since you have been 
 buying cigar signs to stick up in your drawing-room, Missus 
 Grady? 
 
 Brid. Why, that's my brother Denis. 
 
 Pat. (Advancing.) Faith, an' it is! Denny, me boy, give me 
 your flipper. Have ye a Henry Mud consaled wid you? 
 
 Den. I don't smoke. 
 
 Pat. Yer don't? Yer a Murphyite, are ye? An' may I ax 
 what sent ye here? 
 
 Brid. He heard what a drunken husband his sister had, and 
 he came down to see about it. 
 
 Pat. Ah — ha! he did? Well, it's my opinion, Missus Grady, 
 that he's as drunk as an owl himself, and isn't agreeable com- 
 pany for gintlemin like meself . 
 
 Den. I never drink, and it would be better, Patrick, if you 
 never touched the whiskey. 
 
 Pat. Nayther I do. It's a nob that I am. A gallon bottle 
 of damshame, an' put it down on the slate. 
 
 Den. Well, I mane it would be a dale better if ye let alcoholic 
 stimulants alone. 
 
 Pat. Alcoholic stimulants, is it? Missus Grady, are ye aware 
 that yer brother spakes Frinch? It is the great temperance 
 man that he is who preaches for love an' not money. 
 
 Den. But, Patrick, think of the shame it causes your wife 
 to walk home intoxicated every night av your life. 
 
 Pat. I niver walk home. Bedad, Assemblyman Murphy 
 pushed me around to me residence this avening in his barouche 
 — he peddles oranges out av it in the day-time. Ah, the As- 
 semblyman's a great man. He's got a pull in the ward, and 
 he's going to get me a political job a kaping the sparrows from 
 flying away wid the City Hall. 
 
 Den. But your wife and children are a-starving in the mane- 
 while. 
 
 Brid. That's so, Patrick. 
 
 Pat. Will yer shut up, Bridget? Yer want ice-crame and 
 sponge cake for lunch, I suppose. The next thing yer'll be 
 sinding out after broiled quail in a box afther yer get to bed. 
 It's too toney you're getting, intirely. 
 
 Den. Is that the way to spake to your wife? 
 
 Pat. Who's wife is she? 
 
 Den. Yours, worse luck ; but she's my sister. 
 
 Pat. Shure, it wasn't her fault, poor thing. Perhaps yer 
 would be plased to have me buy her a pianny, and get her a 
 velocipede to amuse herself wid while I'm at work. 
 
 Den. You're drunk, Patrick, and yer can't see me argu- 
 ment. 
 
 Brid. That's thrue. 
 
EOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 51 
 
 Pat. Will ye be still, Bridget. I'm drunk, am .1, Mister Hal- 
 lorahan? Av coorse I am ; it's elated wid joy, that I am, be- 
 cause of the war in Europe. It's agoin' to mend the times in 
 this country, an' we'll all git paid for being gentlemen, every 
 man av us. Oh, I have the head for a senator. 
 
 Brid. You're looney, Pat. 
 
 Pat. Missus Grady, if ye don't shut up I'll be forced to be 
 on the lookout fur another wife on account av yer suddent 
 death. 
 
 Brid. Patrick, your cruel words will drive me wild with 
 grief. 
 
 Pat. Thin we'll send ye to play Hamlet along wid the Count 
 Joannes. 
 
 Den. Talk gently to your wife, Pat; she's a woman. 
 
 Pat. Yer don't mane it ! Well, did yer imagine I didn't know 
 that? I have frequent opportunities av seeing women afore. 
 There's Widow Leary, for occasion. 
 
 Brid. Widdy Leary ; she's a fine crathur ! A female skele- 
 ton that paints herself up like a brick house, an' hasn't the 
 shape av a barrel. 
 
 Pat. The Widow Leary recognizes a fine man when she sees 
 him. She tould Father Riordan that I had the natest fut av 
 any man for blocks around. 
 
 Brid. She did, did she? 
 
 Pat. I'm a giving it to ye wid directness, Bridget. 
 
 Brid. Whin I catch her I'll kill her. Thrying to intice me 
 lawful wedded husband away, the cork-legged ould scare- 
 crow. 
 
 Pat. That will do. Ye ought to be elated to think that ye 
 have such a voluptuous-appearing husband, and ought to be 
 continted to humor him, especially whin he's got sich influence 
 wid the b'ys. Do ye know the ' Garvey Musketeers,' Denis? 
 
 Den. Yis. 
 
 Pat. Shure they've axed me to turn out wid them to carry 
 their target instead of a nagur. Perhaps yer would conde- 
 scind to ax me for a place in the post office now? 
 
 Brid. Are ye goin' to turn out wid those blaggards? 
 
 Pat. Don't yer be after alluding to the Garvey Musketeers 
 as blaggards, Missus Grady. They are gintlemen; divil a wan 
 av them works for a living. 
 
 Brid. They're not off av the Island long enough. 
 
 Pat. Perhaps they are not choney enough for yer. 
 
 Brid. They're a lot of rowdies, Pat. Why don't you join 
 the Father Matthy's? 
 
 Pat. Would ye hear the woman? she's putting on frills 
 enough for an inspector's wife. Wouldn't yer like me to buy 
 meself a little white apron an' turn out wid the masons? 
 
 Den. Pat, can't you listen to rayson? 
 
 Pat. Av coorse. 
 
 Den. Is it sensible or raysonable for you to be flying around 
 wid the boys and laving your poor wife at home? Suppose 
 gome man should run off wid her. 
 
52 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 Pat. Begorra, I'd jump on his chest till he spit blood, so I 
 would. 
 
 Den. Now promise me you'll stay at home more nights. 
 
 Brid. Yes, Pat, do, and jine the T. A. B's. 
 
 Pat. Shure, Casey would drape his saloon in black if I did. 
 
 Brid. The curse of St. Patrick light on Casey. [She rises 
 and approaches Pat, tickles him under the chin.] Then, Patsey, 
 darlint, sign the pledge. 
 
 Pat. But it will spoil me hould in the ward. Who ever heard 
 av a temperance politician. 
 
 Den. Drop politics' an' stick to bricklaying, Pat. 
 
 Pat. Well, I believe I will. From this hour, Patrick Grady, 
 Iskwire, drinks no more! [Aside — at his own expense.] 
 Bridget, shoulder that broom an' we'll give the leddies an' jin- 
 tlemen in front, "Sons of Temperance," T. A. B., and ye, 
 Denis, jine in the chorus. 
 
 [All form group at front of stage, and sing Harrigan and 
 Hart's T. A. B. song, which can be obtained at any large music 
 store. At end of song flat closes in. 
 
 [CURTAIN.] 
 
 MATRIMONIAL FELICITY. 
 
 A Musical Burletta for the Drawing-Room and Private 
 Theatricals. 
 
 characters. 
 
 Mr. Algernon Ross. Mrs. Algernon Ross. 
 
 Scene. — An ordinary apartment. At rising of curtain Mr. 
 R. discovered seated at table. Rises and looks at watch. 
 
 Mr. R. Seven o'clock and my wife not home yet! This is 
 nice; this is lovely; this is one of the joys of married life. I tell 
 you what, it braces up a man to come home after a hard day's 
 work and find nothing for supper. If he's hungry, why, he 
 can chew on the furniture or eat a coal scuttle or two. [Listens.] 
 Ah — ha, there is my wife now — won't I give her a setting out ! 
 
 Enter Mrs. R. L. 1 E. 
 Mrs. R. Home already, Atev? 
 
 Mr. R. Home already? Well, what time do you desire me to 
 come home; at midnight or five o'clock in the morning? 
 
 Mrs. R. Why, you're in a bad humor. 
 
 Mr. R. I think that I have enough to put me in a bad humor. 
 Where have you been! 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh, I've been: [Sings: 
 
 1 Walkingdown Broadway — walking down Broadway, 
 The O. K. thing on a Saturday, 
 Is walking down Broadway.' 
 
BOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 53 
 
 Mr. R. You have, eh? "Who was with you, may I ask? 
 Mrs. R. There was: 
 
 1 Captain John McCarthy and Sergeant Donohue, 
 
 They are the boys who make the noise 
 
 In the Regular Army, ohf 
 
 Mr. R. Nice company. I suppose that their conversation 
 was very interesting? 
 Mrs. R. Oh, very. 
 Mr. R. What did they say? 
 Mrs. R. They said: 
 
 4 Ta— ta, my baby dear, 
 I'll meet you in the park 
 When the weather is clear, 
 I'll strike you with a feather, 
 I'll buy for you some moss, 
 The pet of all the mashers 
 Is pretty Mrs. Ross.' 
 
 Mr. R. That is nice language to address to a married wo- 
 man. 
 Mrs. R. Why, Algy? 
 
 Mr. R. I should think that you would understand why? 
 Mrs. R. Now don't get mad: 
 
 ' They all do it! they all do it! 
 Though sometimes they rue it; yet they all do it I 
 
 They all do it! they all do it! 
 And will keep on doing it to the end of the world!' 
 
 Mr. R. They do, eh? Well, just allow me to remark: 
 
 ' Young lady, you're too fresh, 
 Young lady, you're too fresh, 
 It strikes me very forcibly — 
 Young lady, you're too fresh.' 
 
 Mrs. R. That's nice language to your own little wife. 
 
 Mr. R. Well, you've brought it on yourself. 
 
 Mrs. R. Before we got married you never used to treat me 
 so. Then you would walk eight miles in a hail storm to buy 
 me a spool of silk. 
 
 Mr. R. I was a confounded fool then ! 
 
 Mrs. R. I know you used to be. Don't you remember when 
 we went to Rockaway that moonlight night? What did you 
 say then? 
 
 ' Wait till the moonlight falls on the water, 
 
 Then take your sweetheart out for a walk, 
 Mind what you say, boys, that's how to court her, 
 
 Promise that you'll marry her when the days grow short.' 
 
 Mrs. R. Then you asked me for a kiss, and I blushed and bit 
 my shawl, and said : Now, Algy, don't you, 
 
54 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PAETT. 
 
 ' For the man in the moon is looking, love, 
 He is winking, love — he is blinking, love; 
 And each little star can tell where we are, 
 For the man in the moon is looking!' 
 
 Mr. E. And I replied: 
 
 ' There is no harm in kissing, 
 By moonlight on the beach; 
 Those rosy lips were made to sip 
 When no one's near to peach.' 
 
 Mrs E. (Sighing.) Those good old times will never come 
 again. Don't you remember, Algy, when you used to call me: 
 
 'Mollie, dearest, sweetest, fairest! 
 Look up, love, and tell me this, 
 If you love me, Mollie Darling, 
 Let your answer be a kiss!' 
 
 Mr. E. I must have been a raving lunatic. 
 
 Mrs. E. No, you wasn't. You was a real nice, good boy. 
 You wasn't so cross as you are now. 
 
 Mr. E. I wasn't married then. I was free from care and 
 trouble, and I could come into the house, upset the stove, kick 
 over a chair and raise as much racket as I wanted to, without 
 hearing half a dozen voices exclaim: 
 
 ' Don't make a noise 
 
 Or else you'll wake the baby 
 
 Don't make a noise 
 
 Or you'll disturb the child.' 
 
 Ah! those were the jolly days. 
 
 Mrs. E. Then you're sorry that you've married me, Algy? 
 Think how many I rejected for you. Why, I might have 
 had: 
 
 4 Sid Bum, the whiskey brewer, 
 
 Dionysius Carrahull, 
 They made love to me so sweetly, 
 
 Sunday night when the parlor's full.' 
 
 Mr. E. I wish to the Lord you had taken them. 
 Mrs. E. I don't. You know, Algy, that I love none but 
 you: 
 
 ' Oh, Algy, sweet Algy, 
 
 I hope you'll never die, 
 I hope you'll live forever, 
 
 The apple of my eye!' 
 
 Mr. E. Mrs. Boss, what are you giving me? It looks as if 
 you loved me, doesn't it, to go gadding around the street until 
 seven o'clock at night and no supper ready. 
 
 Mrs. E. Well, you see, Algy, I got talking with Mrs. Brown, 
 and she asked me what your business was. I told her that you 
 did: 
 
HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. SS 
 
 ' Something in the city, 
 Something in the city, 
 They don't know quite — they think they're right, 
 Something in the city.' 
 
 Mr. R. I'm glad you gave her such a definite answer. She's 
 an old meddlesome fool, anyhow. By the way, I nearly mar- 
 ried her daughter. 
 
 Mrs. R. You did? 
 
 Mr. R. Only one thing prevented it. She ran off with a 
 soap-fat man. ^ 
 
 ' She was as pretty as the flower I named her after, 
 And the mem'ry of her beauty haunts me yet! 
 
 There was a band of opera music in her laughter, 
 And I christened her my darling mignonette.' 
 
 Mrs. R. But you loved me better, didn't you, Algy? 
 Mr. R. Well, yes. 
 
 Mrs. R. And you always used to tell me nights, when I'd 
 say that I was tired, you'd reply: 
 
 ' Come sit by my side, little darling, 
 And lay your fond head on my breast, 
 
 While the angels of twilight around us 
 Are singing the flow'rets to rest.' 
 
 Mr. R. Then you'd whisper: 
 
 ' Mother says I musn't; 
 
 Mother says I musn't; 
 
 Oh, George, oh, George, 
 
 Not just yet a while.' {Repeat. 
 
 Well, after all, Mollie, you're a nice little wife, and I won't 
 scold you, if you promise not to stay out so late again. 
 
 Mrs. R. I will, Algy. 
 
 Mi\ R. Then we'll go right off and get something to eat. But 
 our kind friends in front? 
 
 Mrs. R. Oh, we'll meet them [Duet 
 
 " In the sweet by-and-by, 
 
 We shall meet on that beautiful shore, by-and-by, 
 
 In the sweet by-and-by. 
 
 We shall meet on that" beautiful shore." 
 
 [CURTAIN.] 
 
 COSTUMES. 
 Mr. R. Ordinary evening dress. 
 Mrs. R. Street costume. 
 
m HO W TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 PRACTICE VS. PREACHING. 
 A Lively Ethiopian Interlude. 
 
 characters. 
 
 Bad Bartholomew Bucktooth. Ike. 
 
 Pomp. Jake. 
 
 Bill. Jim. 
 
 Julius. 
 
 Mrs. Bartholomew Bucktooth. 
 
 Scene. — Interior of store. Counter R. Barrels, boxes, etc., 
 set R. and L. At rising of curtain, all the male characters 
 except Bartholomew discovered seated on counter, barrels 
 and boxes. Pomp gets off counter and yavms. 
 
 Pomp. Well, dis yere am dull. Rain outside, derefore no 
 trade inside, an' no fun anywhar. 
 
 Bill. Can't we make a little fun? 
 
 All. How? 
 
 BUI. Got youse banjo wid youse, Pomp? 
 
 Pomp. Right under de counter, Bill. 
 
 Bill. Den gib us a little hymn— some nigger psalm or 'nuder. 
 
 Pomp. Pshaw, chile, I can't play good nuff. 
 
 Bill. Oh, yes, youse kin. Git de African piano an' start de 
 melody. 
 
 Pomp. Well, den I s'pose dat I done hab fo' to do it. But 
 when youse gits puzzled, gemmen, jess gib me de signal. 
 
 Bill. Oh, dat's all right. [Goes behind counter and gets 
 banjo.'} Heah's de instrument, Pomp, make her talk. 
 
 Pomp. Youse'U all jine in de chorus, gemmen? 
 
 All. Of course. 
 
 Pomp. Pen we'll get de steam up ; off wid de brakes and heah 
 we go. [Plays prelude on banjo> and then sings: 
 
 ROBINSON CORKSCREW. 
 
 When I was a small nig 
 
 I was not very big, 
 I lived in de state of Carlina; 
 
 In love dar I fell 
 
 Wid a sweet yaller gal, 
 And her name it was Blubber-heel Dinah. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Oh, poor Robinson Corkscrew, 
 Oh, poor Robinson Corkscrew, 
 We'll jump up and wake, and we'll keep up the shake, 
 And we'll sing about Robinson Corkscrew. 
 
 Oh, de money's so scarce, 
 And de times dey is worse, 
 Aad d© streets ©f New York am so dusty; 
 
MOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 57 
 
 My cash am all spent, 
 
 And I ain't got a cent, 
 But de nigger feels awfully thirsty. 
 
 Oh, poor, etc. 
 
 Den der's Johnny Bull, 
 
 He of fighting am full; 
 But Johnny am not to be trusted; 
 
 If he comes over here, 
 
 Uncle Samuel to skeer, 
 By golly he'll get his head busted. 
 
 Oh, poor, etc. 
 
 Bart. (Outside.) You leabe me, woman— you leabe me ! Jess 
 youse go youse own way — go right back home, or I'll walk up 
 vour back, and dance on your neck till you froth at de mouf . 
 You heah dat? 
 
 Ike. What's dat? 
 
 Bart. Take care, wench, I hab a razor. You keep your 
 peace, or I'll gash your thigh— yes, I will, I'll gash your thigh! 
 
 Pomp. It's a crazy man. 
 
 Jul. Let's go out and see. 
 [All make a move for the door, C. As they do so, door 
 opens, and Bart, appears. 
 
 Bart. Ebening, gemmen. - 
 
 Pomp. Good-ebening, sah. 
 
 Bart. Be a clear night if it wasn't rainin'. 'Scuse me, gem- 
 men ; did youse heah any one whispering outside? 
 
 Ike. Dere was some bad nigger out dere talkin' cuss words. 
 
 Bart. Dat was me. 
 
 Ike. You? 
 
 Bart. Yes; you see I is a married man, and once in de while 
 when my wife f oilers me,. I hab to gib her a little love poetry. 
 'Spect some ob youse married? 
 
 Jxd. Most ob us can confess to de soft impeachment. 
 
 Bart. Ah, h'm — now I don't want to be pussonal. 
 
 Pomp. (Aside.) What ails that nigger — hab he de choleric 
 Bonfanti? what can he be dribing at, anyhow? [Aloud.] Cer- 
 tainly not. 
 
 Bart. Nor do I want to articulate anything dat will cause a 
 gemman to feel down inter his shoe fo' his shot-gun. 
 
 All. Oh, no! 
 
 Bart. Den I want to ax you one question. Sometimes your 
 wife will deject to youse staying out ob nights— sorter ob 
 kicks. Wants to remobe de frecMes off ob your face wid de 
 red hot stove; put youse to bed wid most ob de crockery, an' 
 otherwise make you tink what a treasure man had in a loving 
 wife. Ain't dat so? 
 
 Bill. (Ruefully.) Dat's sort ob my experience. 
 
 Bart. Den sometimes, gemmen, doan't your wives get de 
 upper dog of you. Leabs you stayin' in de house in a pair of 
 busted pants an' a chest protector, while she sweeps up de 
 avenue in a bran new pah* ob sealskin socks an' a mono^am 
 bustle? 
 
58 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 Pomp. Dat's sort ob true, too. 
 
 Bart. Ob course it is, but it hadn't ought to be. Man is de 
 gay buffalo rooster dat ought to rule dis univarse, not woman. 
 When your wife begins to get camels on her back, when her 
 dandruff arises, don't hit her — nebber hit a woman — jess kick 
 her under de chin an' sit the pianner on her. You heah dat, 
 gemmen? 
 
 All. Yes. 
 < Bart. Den 'member it, an' put it in practice. I had de time 
 ob it with my wife. 
 
 Pomp. Did she hab a temper? 
 
 Bart. Temper; I should murmur to blush. You see she was 
 an only chile. 
 
 Pomp. Yes. 
 
 Bart. Her old man was rich, used ter pass de plate in church, 
 an' she had all de modern improvements. If she cried for de 
 moon dey'd tell her to wait till dey sent a man up with an ele- 
 vator to get it. 
 
 Pomp. I understand. 
 
 Bart. But in an evil moment I married her. I was poor but 
 not honest, an' we got spliced. But she had a temper. 
 
 Pomp. She did? 
 
 Bart. De fust night she persisted that we put de light out in 
 our room, but I tole her " no." I had alius been used to repos- 
 ing wid a light, an' I was gwine to hab a light or death. So 
 we grappled. 
 
 Pomp. What! 
 
 Bart. "lis true, Cassius. But I treated her kindly. I re- 
 cumlected dat my father was a woman, an' I only hit her in 
 de face. Bime-by she gib up, after I had knocked her down 
 wid de bureau, an' put de refrigerator on her lubbly brow. 
 " Kin I have a light, lub?" asked I. ♦ 
 
 Pomp. What did she say? 
 
 Bart. "Ducky," said she, "you — you can illuminate de 
 house, an' hab a bon-flre in de back-yard if youse wish." 
 
 Pomp. Dat was a triumph. 
 
 Bart. You kin bet. Now, when I come home nights, full ob 
 fight-water, an' wipe my feet on de door-bell, an' ring de mat, 
 what do you suppose dat she does? 
 
 Jake. Leans out ob de fourth story windows, and cools 
 youse heated brow wif hot water. 
 
 Julius. Frows de parlor organ down at you. 
 
 Bill. Gits down in de airy, and dusts yer clothes with the 
 ash-barrel. 
 
 Bart. No, sah; she dumps me in de dumbwaiter, pulls me up 
 herself to de top stoiy, and tucks me away in de bed widout 
 even saying a word. 
 
 Ike. {Sighing.) Dat must be hebben. 
 
 Bart. Well, youse can all do it. Now, s'pose'n dat my wife 
 should dare to come into dese festiv e halls. Do youse know 
 what I'd do? 
 
 Bill. What? 
 
 Bart. I'd je«s risa up and say : ' Woman, flee !' 
 
SOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. S9 
 
 Ike. Suppose dat she obsistehtly refused to flee? 
 
 Bart. Den I'd take her by de bustle and bounce her. Oh, 
 Vm a hard-hearted husband, I am; a little nigger Bluebeard on 
 wheels. I'd like to see any woman boss me; I'd dig her wind- 
 pipe out, and use it for a putty blower ; I'd 
 
 'Voice Outside. Bartholomew Bucktoothl 
 
 Bart. Dere's somebody fo' me. 
 
 Voice. Bartholomew Bucktooth, if you don't come out heah 
 right away I'll break your dog-goned back! 
 
 Pomp. Dat's a woman's voice. 
 
 Bart. It's — it's my wife. 
 
 Jut. Why doan't youse go out an' kill her? 
 
 Bart. {Trembling.) She's — she's weak. Got corns on her 
 lungs; I can't hit her. 
 
 Voice. If you ain't heah, you bald-headed old liar, in one 
 minute, I'll come in an' tie my shoes on your eyebrow. 
 
 Bart. Yes, my angel, I's coming. Oh, if dat wench was only 
 well, I'd go right out an' pat her with a lamp-post till you 
 could fold her up in a band-box. 
 [Door opens, and Mrs. Bartholomew appears. Rushes across 
 
 stage and catches Bartholomew by the throat, and hits him 
 
 udth umbrella. 
 
 Mrs. B. Oh, you miserable liar, coming 'round heah half 
 drunk, an' gibbing folks taffy 'bout bossing women. I'll show 
 youse who is de boss ob dis family. 
 
 [Gets him down on floor, pounds him with umbrella. Other 
 characters all posture around, and flats close on tableau. 
 
 [CURTAIN.] 
 
 DE MUSS IN EUROPE. 
 
 AN ORIGINAL, STUMP SPEECH. 
 
 Belubbed Brudden: I come before you dis ebening becos it 
 is de only place I could come widout de sheriff callin' on me. 
 My friends, I am glad dat I lib in dis free and glorious E Plu- 
 ribus Unum, beneaf de star-spangled pull-back ob de Goddess 
 ob Liberty.* I am an American, a sun-burnt American, an' I 
 lub my country a good deal better dan my country lubs me; 
 or why dis shrunk-up swaller-tail, dese Dolly Varden pants, 
 dis noble hat, which looks like a bandbox struck by a masked 
 battery. My hearers, when I visited de Plymouth Rock, an' 
 saw where de Pilgrims planted dere gravel mashers, I wept. 
 To tink dat dose good old fellers nebber libbed to see de Centen- 
 nial, low necked shoes, striped stockin's, de Whiskey Ring, 
 Bill Tweed, cardinal-red petticoats, bell-punches, an' all de od- 
 der glorious products ob our civilized equality ob liberty. 
 
 Liberty, belubbed listeners, is a great ting to hab. When a 
 man sits in de lonely prison cell, a frowin' his shoes at de ran:- 
 blin' bed bugs, an' hears de sentry outside a whistling: " Oh, 
 Charleston Gals, can you come out to-night*" he feels like cut- 
 
60 HOW TO ENTERTAIN AN EVENING PARTY. 
 
 tin' his throat wif de water-pitcher. I have been dere myself, 
 an' I kin sympathize wid you, bruddern. 
 
 De fault, ladies an' gemmen, ob dis here age is extravagance. 
 Most ob us are endeavorin' ter lead ten dollar lives on seben 
 dollars. An' what is de result. De result is dat we am a bust- 
 ed nation, an' de Bird of Freedom is reluctantly compelled to 
 pawn his tail feathers to buy fresh fish wif. 
 
 Derefore we must reform. Let dose who hab smoked ten 
 cent cigars, smoke five ! let dose who hab smoked five, smoke 
 three, an' dose who hab smoked three, let dem suck onter lead 
 pencils. 
 
 But, deah fellow-creatures, what hab all dis to do wid de 
 war in Europe? Nuffin, friends, nuffin. Derefore .1 will 
 continue. I know all about Europe myself Last night I 
 was in Greece. Dat is to say, I slept in a soap factory. 
 
 I know dat all ob you depreciate dis disco'se. Folks gener- 
 ally do. De other night I spoke it in Paterson, New Arkansas, 
 an' dere wazn't a dry eye in de house. Dere wuzn't a wet 
 one either. Everybody went outside an' left me alone. But 
 dey waited for me. De manager tole me arterwards dat if I 
 hadn't a-gone home ober de fences, dere would hab been anud- 
 der Bulgarian massacre. 
 
 De sight ob so many young couples here reminds me paw- 
 fully ob de time when I was engaged. Oh, she wuz a stun- 
 ner! but she went back on me. Said dat my head looked like 
 Mount Jimsuvius in corruption, an' dat I had freckles on my 
 feet. 1 tole her dat I didn't care, her gran'mother was no gen- 
 tleman, anyhow. Den she got mad, picked up an ax, an' sed 
 we must part. I parted just where she hit me with the ax. 
 De doctor used four spools of thread a-sewing me togedder, 
 an' sed dat he guessed he had got me on a big string! 
 
 I see, though, friends, dat you am aweary. Those of you 
 who am not 'sleep, am snoring. Derefore, I will conclude. De 
 muss in Europe is a great ting, an' I hope dat youse all tink 
 likewise. Good-night, ladies an' gemmen, an' dose two young 
 fellers dat I tole to frow de bouquets dat I gib dem at me, will 
 please frow dem now. Au revoir. 
 
HOW TO BECOME 
 
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