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 1 
 
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 |LIl]RAliY OF CONGRESS. 
 
 Jl'NITRD STATES OP AMKRIl'A. 
 
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ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 7 
 
 "Except a corn of wheat f:dl into the ground aii.l die, 
 It abideth alono; but if it die, it briugeth forth much 
 fruit." — John lii. 24. 
 
 Ih 
 
 BOSTON: 
 
 MASSACHUSETTS SABBATH SCITOOL SOCIETY, 
 
 Depositokv Xo. 13 Cornhill. 
 
E5I3 
 
 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 18G2, by 
 
 The Massachusetts Sabbath School Society, 
 
 in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District <rf 
 
 Massachusetts. 
 
 RIVERSIDE, CAMBRIDGE: 
 STEREOTYPED AND PRINTED BY H. 0. HOXJeHTON. 
 
TO THE 
 
 C? a 1 1 a n t a n ^ K o i) I e €: o nnn a n ti e r , 
 Col. Wm. S. CLAEK: 
 
 TO THE RESOLUTE AND PATRIOTIC OFFICERS AND PRIVATES 
 OF THE 21ST REGIMENT OF MASS. VOLUNTEERS; 
 TO THE BRAVE CITIZEN AND REGULAR SOL- 
 DIERS OF THE GREAT ARMY OF THE 
 UNITED STATES; AND TO ALL YOUNG 
 MEN OF LOFTY AIMS AND EN- 
 DEAVORS EVERYWHERE; THIS 
 BRIEF MEMORIAL OF A 
 YOUNG OFFICER IS 
 RESPECTFULLY 
 INSCRIBED, 
 
 BY ins FATHER. 
 
ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 
 
 When a young man of promise has sud- 
 denly fallen in tlie presence of the nation 
 and in defence of its liberties, and all hopes 
 of his future usefulness, in ordinary ways, 
 have been destroyed ; if there was anything 
 in his character and life or in the circum- 
 stances of his death which, if known, might 
 be of benefit to the world, that sensitiveness 
 of friendship could hardly be justified which 
 should withhold from youno; men of his own 
 age, and es})ecially from his fellow-soldiers, 
 some fitting memorial of him. Here is the 
 reason, if any apology is needed, why the 
 following biographical notices of Adjutant 
 Stearns are submitted to the public. It 
 
b ADJUTANT STEARXS. 
 
 might be thought they woiikl come witli 
 better grace from some one whose intimacy 
 of relationship might not be suspected of 
 giving too high a coloring to the narrative. 
 But if proper allowance is made for paren- 
 tal partiality and tenderness, perhaps, in the 
 case of one so early called away, no person 
 could give a better impression of his real 
 life and motives than his father. 
 
 Frazar Augustus Stearns, who fell in 
 the battle of Newbern, March 14th 1862, 
 was born in Cambridge, Mass., on the '21st 
 day of June, 1840, and was twenty-one 
 years and about eight months old when he 
 died. 
 
 He was carried to the house of God, on 
 the afternoon of the Sabbath, Auirust 1st, 
 of the same year, and, unconscious himself 
 of the great transaction, was solemnly bap- 
 tized into the nama of the Father and of 
 the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Parents 
 often enter into engagements for their chil- 
 dren with men, why should they not with 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 7 
 
 God? Many Christians take great delight 
 in such consecrations. They lay their child, 
 in the opening of his immortal being, upon 
 the arms of eternal love, and ever after, 
 pleading the Covenant for him, when the 
 dark days of his history come, they look 
 upon his baptism as the bow of promise 
 which spans the cloud. 
 
 Of the christian names given him on that 
 occasion, Frazar was the maiden name of 
 his mother, Rebecca Alden Frazar, daugh- 
 ter of Samuel Alden Frazar, Esq., of Dux- 
 bury, Mass. 
 
 Frazar, the subject of this notice, was a 
 descendant of " the Pilgrims." Among his 
 ancestors were Governor Thomas Dudley, 
 and Captain Edward Johnson, the author of 
 that quaint old history entitled " The Won- 
 der-workino; Providence of Zion's Saviour 
 in New England." Of the blood of the 
 young Plymouth pilgrim, John Alden, 
 three currents flowed in his veins. 
 
 While a child, Frazar gave indications 
 
8 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 of some of those traits of cliaracter which 
 were conspicuous in his after life. He was 
 uncommonly truthful, conscientious, and hioh 
 minded. Though of a sensitive and impul- 
 sive nature, with quick, strong passions, he 
 was filial and affectionate in disposition, 
 kind and amiable among his associates, and 
 generally magnanimous in his treatment of 
 them. 
 
 When a small boy, under the influence 
 of parental teaching and the unconscious 
 education of a Christian home, he became 
 the subject of deep religious experiences. 
 After much reflection for one so young, he 
 made up his mind, not only to trust in 
 Christ as his Saviour, but to serve him 
 henceforth with entireness of heart. With 
 characteristic earnestness and decision, he 
 repeatedly signified to his parents his de- 
 sire to confess Christ before men. On ac- 
 count of his extreme youth, he was kept 
 back for a time; but as his purposes seemed 
 fixed, and his conduct not more inconsist- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 9 
 
 ent than that of the majority of older pro- 
 fessors, it was thought that the risk of 
 denying him longer, would be greater than 
 that of complying with his request. After 
 careful instruction, he was accordingly, on 
 the first Sabbath of September, 1852, ad- 
 mitted to the full fellowship of the Church, 
 in which he had been baptized in infancy. 
 It was an impressive scene and drew tears 
 from many eyes, when that small boy — no 
 older than his Saviour was when he heard 
 the doctors in the Temple and asked them 
 questions, — stood up with a few older per- 
 sons, in the presence of a large congrega- 
 tion, and entered into covenant with God 
 and the Church. 
 
 The independence of the child, whose 
 modesty and natural reserve no one would 
 call in question, seemed the more remark- 
 able, as his older brother and sister, though 
 not unthoughtful, had never at that time 
 felt prepared to own in public the God of 
 their fathers. His feelings on the subject 
 
10 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 appear, in part, from a little note which 
 he handed to his sister some weeks before 
 he joined the Church, and which happens 
 to have been preserved. The grammar will 
 be excused as he was then only twelve years 
 of ao:e. 
 " Dear E. : — 
 
 " Father told me, some time ago, that he 
 supposed you was without any good hope 
 in Christ ; and I write to you that I may 
 if possible help you. Do give your heart 
 to God, if you have not already ; read your 
 Bible much, and pray for a new heart, and 
 ask ' Him who rules all things ' to create 
 in you a right spirit. If you felt you 
 wanted advice, I advise you to go to fa- 
 ther ; for I have, and he has done me a 
 great deal of good. He says he wants 
 Willie and you and myself, when I join, 
 to join the Church together; and he has 
 been waiting for that time to come. Re- 
 member me in your prayers, and I shall 
 remain your aftectionate brother, 
 
 " F. A. S." 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 11 
 
 The expediency of admitting persons so 
 young into tlie full fellowship of the Church 
 must be judged of by circumstances. It 
 can be done safely only after much in- 
 struction and much pmyer. The danger is 
 that they may not understand themselves, 
 or may not have that " faith," as well as 
 knowledge, which is necessary " to discern 
 the Lord's body," or may become the oc- 
 casion of scandal, by those youthful incon- 
 sistencies which will be likely sooner or 
 later to appear. But our Saviour gives a 
 caution also, in the other direction : " Take 
 heed that ye despise not one of these little 
 ones." "And whoso shall receive one such 
 child in my name receive th me." Doubt- 
 less the lambs are safest in the fold, if only 
 lambs they are, and you can depend on 
 the discretion and fidelity of the shepherds 
 who have the immediate guardianship of 
 them. 
 
 His early education was derived chiefly 
 from the common schools and the High 
 
12 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 School of Cambridge, to which, in some 
 respects, no schools in the world were prob- 
 ably superior. The zeal of some of his 
 teachers, in imparting to him the first ru- 
 diments of knowledge, especially in ele- 
 mentary arithmetic, when he was not more 
 than six or seven years okl, and which in- 
 spired him with a taste for mathematics, and 
 laid the foundation of his after success in 
 the study of them, will always be remem- 
 bered by his friends, as it was by himself, 
 with gratitude. In these schools, his pro- 
 ficiency gave satisfaction, and he left them, 
 after having completed their courses, in 
 August, 1854. 
 
 In the. early winter of that year, Frazar 
 removed with his parents to Amherst, Mas- 
 sachusetts. Not long after this event, sep- 
 arated from his old companions and some 
 of the relifTious influences which had been 
 
 o 
 
 around him, though his conduct as a Chris- 
 tian had not seemed particularly defective, 
 he became for a short season the subject 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 13 
 
 of religious depression. The following note 
 will explain his feelings. He was now in 
 his fifteenth year. 
 "Dear Father, — 
 
 " I cannot live any longer in such a con- 
 dition. I must do something — I know not 
 what. O what would not I give, if I only 
 had a Christian's hope ! but I am afraid all 
 is lost. I have strayed and wandered far 
 from God, and I fear. IIow can I be saved 
 after what I have done ? I have solemnly 
 avouched the Lord to be my God. I have 
 covenanted in the presence of many wit- 
 nesses to live no longer for the world, but 
 for Christ above ; and how have I fulfilled 
 that vow ? What have I lived for ? I have 
 given up to the enjoyment of this world, and 
 to its temptations. I have made, at times, 
 resolutions ; but these have been broken ; and 
 last of all I have been a disgrace to the 
 Church and to Christ. How then can I be 
 saved ? Could I but have a hope in Christ, 
 I would devote myself forever to his ser\ace ; 
 
14 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 but I am afraid all is lost. Do tell me wliat 
 
 I must do ? Pray for me, and ask God to 
 
 grant me a hope in him. 
 
 " Your affectionate son, 
 
 " Frazar." 
 
 On conversing with him, it appeared that 
 while he had not wholly neglected religious 
 duties, he had become remiss in them, had 
 failed " to be watchful," had not lived in his 
 religion, had given away in some instances 
 to temptation, and was wholly dissatisfied 
 with himself. Of such a state of mind, the 
 Christian, who has often felt himself like 
 Paul to be the chief of sinners, needs no 
 explanation. But if any read these lines 
 who are ignorant of the Christian's hidden 
 life, let them understand. It is not the ex- 
 perience of Christians that the soul leaps, at 
 once, to its highest sanctification ; " the old 
 man," especially in the child, must have its 
 development as well as " the new man," and 
 these will be repeated, and perhaps severe 
 conflicts between them, and alternations of 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 15 
 
 success, till " the new man " gets the final 
 victory and " he that overcometh inherits 
 all things." It was only after he had been 
 through the Slough of Despond, and held fast 
 in Doubting Castle, and suffered the oppres- 
 sions of Giant Despair, that Bunyan's Pil- 
 grim reached '' the land of Beulah, where the 
 air is sweet, and where the sun shineth night 
 and day." So " the peace of God, which 
 passeth all understanding," is rarely enjoyed 
 as a permanent state by any Christian till he 
 has passed through many inward conflicts 
 and perhaps discomfitures. 
 
 About midsummer of this year, 1855, an 
 event occurred than which hardly anything 
 could have distressed him more deeply. It 
 was the death of his mother. A woman of 
 a strong mind and a large and loving heart, 
 lier influence over her children, and espe- 
 cially over Frazar, who inherited her quick 
 sensibilities, was of course very great. As 
 he loved her exceedingly, her long sickness 
 and uncommon sufferings, though submis- 
 
16 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 sively borne, were a constant source of de- 
 pression to him. And when she gave him 
 her parting counsels and a mother's last kiss, 
 and he saw her dying, though with the peace 
 of God in her soul, it was almost more than 
 his young spirit could endure. For a long 
 time afterward the sadness of his desolated 
 home oppressed him. 
 
 The next spring, he was sent to Pliillips' 
 Academy, in Andover, to prepare for col- 
 lecre. His desires for a more extended edu- 
 cation than he had yet obtained had become 
 strong, indeed, at times, intense. The fol- 
 lowincr notes reveal his feelino;s on the sub- 
 ject, and give some glimpses of the intensity 
 of his character. 
 "Dear Father, — 
 
 " I want to make a request of you, and I 
 do it in writing because I can better tell you 
 all the whys and wherefores. 
 
 " In regard to my studying, I feel as I 
 never have before ; something within me 
 says, Act; and as Sheridan said, 'It is in 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 17 
 
 me and must come out.' I feel more and 
 more, every day, the truth of the saying, 
 ' Knowledge is power.' I am determined 
 yet to make ' something or nothing : ' that 
 is my motto, and, father, you shall yet hear 
 from me in other ways than as your son. 
 
 " Tiie other night you asked me how I 
 should like to go to Andover. I jumped at 
 the thought, my heart leapt within me. I 
 resolved soon to let you know. It is not a 
 thing I have hastily thought of; but I have 
 thought it over and over and over again. 
 For more than a month before, I had thought 
 of it and turned it over in my mind. I have 
 weighed it in every scale, and have long since 
 come to the determination, if 3^ou will send 
 me to Andover two years, to go to college." 
 
 Speaking of some difficulties in the way, 
 and how he had planned to overcome them, 
 he continues : 
 
 " Havn't other folks done so ? and can't 
 I do the same? I will do the same, can't or 
 no can't. It ivill be done, it shall be done. 
 
18 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 Where there's a will, there's a way. I have 
 the will ; the way will follow." 
 
 A little time after, he writes : 
 "Dear Father, — 
 
 " I canH study here. I can't do it. You 
 don't know how much I have tried, but it is 
 no go ; do let me go to Andover, and you 
 will be thanked by me. Here I have all the 
 interruptions you can imagine. Oh, father, 
 father, my heart aches and is weary. Per- 
 haps I have kept a merry face, — a merrier 
 face than any of the rest ; but I have often 
 done so when within all was loneliness and 
 sadness. I did not like to let you know that 
 I was discontented or unhappy, but I am 
 sick at heart, my heart gnaws after knowl- 
 edge, and I must have it ; but I can't get it 
 here, at home. I must go to Andover. I 
 must have knowledge ; and if you wish to 
 make me happy, send me." 
 
 His cours^. at Andover, though pleasant 
 
ADJUTANT STEAENS. 19 
 
 to himself and profitable, was short. On 
 account of over-exertion, with some other 
 students of the Academy, in an effort, un- 
 der a fever of young patriotism, to procure 
 from the woods and erect a liberty pole — 
 followed by a rapid walk to Boston to at- 
 tend the celebrations of the Fourth of July 
 
 and of a cold which supervened — his 
 
 health was so much impaired that, at the 
 end of three months after he left home, he 
 was obliged to suspend his studies and re- 
 turn to Amherst. 
 
 After several interruptions in his studies 
 at home, he so far completed his prepara- 
 tory course as to be admitted into Amherst 
 College as a member of the Freshman class, 
 in August, 1857, at the age of seventeen. 
 
 From the time he united with the Church 
 in Cambridge, in 1852, till lie entered col- 
 leo-e, his moral and religious life was marked 
 with but few noteworthy indications. Not- 
 withstanding some afflictions, he seemed 
 generally happy. He entered with great 
 
20 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 avidity into youthful sports, without being 
 addicted to the vices which are often con- 
 nected with them. While he was sensitive 
 and proud-spirited, and could not brook an 
 insult, his fiHal and affectionate nature could 
 be appealed to with success, and the law of 
 parental control was never resisted. Every- 
 / 'thing low and mean was his abhorrence, and, 
 even from his earhest boyhood, he always 
 expressed the utmost indignation at vulgar- 
 ity and profaneness. 
 
 As, owing to special circumstances, he 
 had entered college after preparations too 
 hastily and imperfectly made, he did not 
 reach his ideal, in the craSsics, during the 
 Freshman year. " Indeed," says Professor 
 Tyler, from whose address at the funeral I 
 am allowed to quote, " his taste was rather 
 for the mathematical and physical sciences 
 and their practical applications. He began 
 early to collect minerals, and under the per- 
 sonal influence and friendsliip of the accom- 
 plished Professor in that department, he not 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 21 
 
 only studied tliem scientifically, but admired 
 these exquisite productions of Nature's handi- 
 work as an amateur. He was particularly 
 fond of chemistry, and it was in the labora- 
 tory that he first formed that attachment 
 for the Professor, afterwards his Major and 
 Colonel, which grew with every subsequent 
 year, and ended only in that gallant charge 
 which cost one of them his life and the 
 other a pang little short of that which 
 separates soul from body." 
 
 In the winter and spring of 1858,^ during 
 that remarkable revival of religion which 
 followed the great financial crash of 1857, 
 when the whole country was roused to re- 
 flection, and as the result of which more 
 than ninety-six thousand hopeful conver- 
 sions to Christ were enumerated, Am- 
 herst, in common with other colleges, and 
 Frazar, in common with his fellow-students, 
 was deeply moved. In the early part of 
 that season, he not only seemed to partici- 
 pate personally in the religious quickening, 
 
22 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 but to take the deepest interest in its in- 
 fluence ui)on others. As the work went 
 forward and lie was led to examine more 
 searchingly the foundations of his own hope 
 in Christ, he began to doubt whether he 
 had really experienced that great change 
 which the New Testament speaks of as a 
 new birth, a new creation, a resurrection 
 from ^the dead. The suspicion that he 
 might have deceived himself, and have 
 been living in a delusion, excited and 
 grieved him, and awakened in him some 
 terrible doubts respecting the genuineness 
 of revivals and even of Christianity itself. 
 This state of mind was not a little afforra- 
 vated by the influence of one or two some- 
 what talented but sceptically inclined asso- 
 ciates, who had learned enough of panthe- 
 istic speculation to complicate themselves in 
 its meshes, but not enough to detect its 
 sophistries or turn back again to the old 
 foundations of Christian peace. His scep- 
 tical questionings were not, however, wel- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 23 
 
 corned and rejoiced in, as they often are by 
 irreligious men ; but they took the form 
 of fear approaching desperation, not unat- 
 tended by rebelHon of spirit, lest he might 
 be disappointed in all that he had hoped 
 and believed. His relimous life was like a 
 harp not broken and destroyed, but un- 
 strunor and discordant. All the dangers 
 of " drawing back unto perdition " which 
 the Apostle foresaw when he said, " Cast 
 not away therefore your confidence," now 
 threatened him. Nor was it till sometime 
 afterward, when he had been taught by ex- 
 perience " that there is small chance of 
 truth at the goal, when there is not child- 
 like humility at the starting-post," that he 
 was enabled to escape the regions of unrest 
 and plant his feet on the firm earth again. 
 All this, however strange it may seem to 
 the mere worldling, will be understood by 
 the Christian who has learned in the school 
 of a divine discipline that the crown of 
 thorns precedes the crown of glory. 
 
24 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 Towards the close of his first year in col- 
 lege, he was visited with a grief which, 
 though for the most part hidden in his 
 heart, made an ineffaceable impression up- 
 on it. It was the death of a young friend 
 with whom he had been as intimate from 
 his early childhood as a brother with a sister. 
 Beautiful and interesting, — an only child, 
 — consumption had marked her for a victim. 
 She died at the age of eio;hteen in sweet sub- 
 mission to the Divine will, peacefully trust- 
 ino; in Jesus, and lookino; forward with confi- 
 dence and joy to the heavenly rest. Though 
 she had never been to him, perhaps, much 
 more than as a sister, when she was gone 
 and her society could not be had, a sense of 
 bereavement came over him, and the nio;ht- 
 shades often afterwards hung upon his spirit ; 
 and when the fii^t days of mourning were 
 over, like Dante's Beatrice, she became a 
 sort of pure angelic presence to him, strength- 
 ening his faith and hallowing his life. 
 
 An event occurred early in his Sophomore 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 25 
 
 year which was neither particularly credit- 
 able to himself nor to other parties con- 
 cerned in it, though it grew out of honor- 
 able feelings and a hio;h-minded intention. 
 He had always expressed the greatest con- 
 tempt for that petty tyranny which is so 
 often practised by Sophomores upon Fresh- 
 men. Most of his classmates, actuated by 
 the same spirit, with more magnanimity of 
 intention than wisdom in the manner of ex- 
 ecution, had undertaken with him to break 
 down the prestige of this old custom of bar- 
 barism. In carrying out their plans, as 
 might have been anticipated, they came into 
 collision with the class above them. " A 
 point of honor " was in question ; and on 
 this the college spirit effervesced. Many 
 of both classes were, for a time, not only 
 strangely excited, but greatly imperilled. 
 One of the wildest storms ever known in 
 Amherst College was raging, when a col- 
 lege officer appeared on the ground and 
 secured a calm. 
 
26 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 Sometime afterwards, for his heroism in 
 defending what they considered " their hon- 
 or," on this occasion, at the hazard of his 
 life, his classmates proposed to present him 
 an elegantly mounted revolver ; but he de- 
 clined the perilous gift. They gave him a 
 beautiful writing-desk, which he gratefully, 
 but reluctantly acce])ted. He never, how- 
 ever, looked upon it with entire complacency, 
 as it reminded him of a scene which he was 
 only too willing to forget. He used to say 
 that " he should thank God to the latest day 
 of his life '' that in the great excitement of 
 that hour " he was withheld from committing 
 any act of violence." 
 
 About the middle of the first term of the 
 Sophomore year, he was attacked by one of 
 those long and dangerous typhoid fevers 
 which, when not fatal, often seem to wreck 
 both body and mind. In one of its crises, 
 the physician, though he expressed himself 
 hopefully, was constrained to say that he 
 ehould not be surprised if he were entirely 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 27 
 
 prostrstted before noon, and dead before night. 
 Those who know the hearts of Christians will 
 not wonder that enough of his dano;erous 
 condition should have been intimated to 
 him, to open the way for free conversation 
 as to his hopes of the future. Nor will they 
 think it strano-e that such hearts should be 
 filled wdth gratitude to God when they found 
 him then in full possession of his reason, 
 calm, sustained by a firm trust in Christ, and 
 something like "an assurance of hope." The 
 way thus opened, select passages of Scrip- 
 ture and hymns which contain tlie essence 
 of the Gospel, in its simplest form, such as, 
 
 " Just as I am, without one plea," 
 were read to him ; prayers also w^ere offered 
 occasionally with him, and conversations fol- 
 lowed, which not only gave much consola- 
 tion to anxious hearts of love, but seemed to 
 inspire him with fresh courage and peace. 
 It is pleasant to remember that amidst the 
 mental wanderings of that long sickness, the 
 unconscious revelations which he then made 
 
28 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 of his character, were all elevated and beau- 
 tiful. He was forming patriotic plans for 
 the pacification of the country, and the re- 
 moval of the evils which even then seemed 
 impending ; he was engaged in important 
 mechanical inventions ; he was composing 
 music ; he was discovering splendid miner- 
 als ; he was making vast sums of money, not 
 so much for himself as for richly endowing 
 and furnishing the college and making pres- 
 ents to his friends. At one time, he thought 
 that he had delivered an address which was 
 received with approval. " Father," he said, 
 " how did you like it ? " Being answered 
 somewhat evasively, but in the line of his 
 own fancies, he responded, " I always 
 thought I should do something to please 
 you." 
 
 On religious subjects, he was trustful and 
 submissive. " What are those words,'* said 
 he to his sister, durinor the sufferino;s of a 
 very sick night ; " They shall hunger no 
 more, nor thirst ; what are they ? " The 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 29 
 
 passage was repeated to him. " They^shall 
 hunger no more, neither thirst any more ; 
 neither shall the sun light on them, nor any 
 heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst 
 of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead 
 them unto living fountains of waters : and 
 God shall wipe away all tears from their 
 eyes." " Beautiful, beautiful," said he in 
 a voice sweetly subdued, " I almost wish I 
 was there." 
 
 This protracted sickness not only pros- 
 trated his physical nature, but after a while 
 enfeebled his mind. He became in some re- 
 spects almost a child again, and could best 
 be entertained with hearino; the books which 
 he had read in his childhood, and in listen- 
 ing to childish tales which had long since 
 ceased to interest him. 
 
 At this point the pen stops, and the writer 
 asks himself, with surprise at the exhibitions 
 he has given, — Was this opening life, which 
 had seemed generally so joyous, the subject 
 of uncommon trials ? And the answer must 
 
30 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 be, that while there was much youthful hap- 
 piness in it, there was also the discipline of 
 much sorrow. It was a mixed scene, — 
 great gorgeous clouds, black and golden. 
 
 Nor was this lot, though hard, to be de- 
 precated. Suffering, when not too mighty 
 for us, is educational. Great characters are 
 rarely formed without it ; great Christian 
 attainment is usually conditioned upon it. 
 Though a happy young life may seem most 
 pleasant to us, difficulty and affliction are 
 doubtless its best teachers. We admire the 
 wheat in its greenness, still more when its 
 heads bend together with ripened grain ; but 
 it must be cut and threshed and ground 
 and bolted before it is fitted for its highest 
 use. 
 
 After he was supposed to have recov- 
 ered from this sickness, in the words of 
 Professor Tyler's address, " he attempted 
 to resume his studies ; but he could not 
 command his faculties. For once and for 
 a season, his will was baffled, and that in 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 31 
 
 the realm of his own mind. He returned 
 to his favorite pursuits in the laboratory 
 and the mineral kingdom ; but these did 
 not satisfy; he must have a complete col- 
 lege education. He took to horticulture ; 
 and succeeded admirably in raising vegeta- 
 bles, but not in restoring his health." 
 
 After several eflPorts at study, as a last 
 experiment, Professor Henshaw of Rutger's 
 College, then at By field, Mass., was in- 
 duced to undertake to aid him in reviving^ 
 his lost knowledge and preparing him to 
 reenter college. Though several months 
 had now passed since he began to call him- 
 self well, he was really unfit for study. 
 His mind was often in a whirl of confu- 
 sion. His plans of life were unsettled, and 
 his religion, just now, did not sustain him. 
 
 Indeed, while at By field, he went through 
 another of those terrible experiences which 
 had so strongly shaken him in 1858. Much 
 may be attributed to imperfect health, but 
 much more to the workings of an earnest 
 
32 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 religious nature, in the earlier conflicts 
 of its sanctification. God ploughs deep fur- 
 rows, when he would produce great sheaves. 
 Had he been older and known more of 
 Christian experience, he might have con- 
 demned liimself less bitterly for unwelcome 
 doubts, and have waited more calmly, in 
 the way of obedience and prayer, for light. 
 His state of mind was thus expressed : 
 "You say," he writes, "I have no better 
 friend on earth than my fiither. If I 
 thought otherwise I would not tell you 
 what I am going to now. I am very 
 unhappy, and have been for some time. 
 Those old doubts have been coming up in 
 my mind, and until they are solved I shall 
 be unhappy. You tell me to ' rejoice ever- 
 more,' and ' pray without ceasing.' I can 
 do neither, for I seem to believe nothing. 
 O ! the misery, — the agony I endure you 
 cannot imagine ; and sometimes I wish I 
 had died when I thought I believed, rather 
 than live to become (as I fear I shall) an 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 33 
 
 infidel. I would like to believe if I could. 
 I know some will call me fickle, change- 
 able, and ridicule me ; but I am coming 
 home to you like the prodigal son, and 
 hope that you, at least, will not reproach 
 me. Meanwhile, ask the Saviour you be- 
 lieve in, if he be true, to convince me.'* 
 
 Professor Henshaw writes concernins him, 
 " Ilis mind, I should think, is in a very 
 nervous, excitable condition. I have had 
 several conversations with him on his re- 
 ligious state, and find him troubling him- 
 self with doubts regarding the truth of 
 Christianity and the reality of Christian ex- 
 perience. Perhaps his troubles are mainly 
 owing to his sickness, his depressed feel- 
 ings, and the absence of his former lively 
 joy in Christ. I think, however, he has 
 been affected somewhat by the freely ex- 
 pressed doubts of some of his associates in 
 college and other places. I think he is hon- 
 est in his doubts, and I have striven to aid 
 him in resolvino; them. He seems to be now 
 
34 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 taking the right direction, but is in a very 
 dangerous state of mind. I can but hope 
 the result will be a deeper experience, a 
 more thorouo-h knowlediie of himself and of 
 the de(;eptiveness of the heart, and higher 
 Christian faith and joy. He has evidently 
 had seasons of deep depression, increased 
 by his lonely situation hene ; and I should 
 not be surprised if he had manifested a 
 good deal of the hero in his struggles 
 against them." 
 
 This state of mind could not lonor con- 
 tinue. The letter to his father marked a 
 crisis in his feelings. He had hardly ex- 
 pressed them when he began to find relief. 
 And though he did not immediately reach 
 the firmest rock of faith, he ceased to sink 
 in the slough of unbelief. 
 
 His second letter, written but a few days 
 after the first, reveals the point of transi- 
 tion from conflict and trouble to the be- 
 ginnings of peace. 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 35 
 
 "Dear Father, — 
 
 " Ere this you will doubtless have re- 
 ceived a letter from me written while I 
 was in a most intense agony. I say ag- 
 ony, for until a person feels that he has 
 nothing to live for, that he has no God, no 
 religion, he does not know what agony is. 
 This you will readily see has been my 
 trouble — has caused these fluctuations — has 
 made me discontented and unhappy. But 
 it was more than I could bear, or any one, 
 for any length of time. I thought once 
 that I was going crazy. I truly thought 
 so. What I could do I did not know; for 
 I liad nothing to live for, and wished only 
 that I might die. I began to grow scepti- 
 cal as I grew better from my sickness, until 
 at last I seemed to believe nothing of the 
 Bible, except that a God exists. I began 
 to investigate the matter, and finally came 
 to the conclusion that although I mio-ht be 
 rejected, although I might be cast off, yet 
 while life sJiould last I would in future do all 
 
36 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 in my power to advance Christ's kingdom. 
 I found tliat I never should be liappy 
 as long as I disbelieved the Gospel ; and 
 may God forgive me for doing as I have 
 done I Why, I have been in a perfect liell 
 for hours at a time, when, as I say, I be- 
 gan to think I should go mad. I do not 
 think I shall ever be troubled so ao-ain, for 
 in future, I am resolved to carry all my 
 doubts to the Lord. I will studv as hard 
 as I can, and at the same time keep in 
 good health. 
 
 " This I am resolved upon, — that if 
 prayers to God, and effort to do the will of 
 God, are powerful with Ilim, they shall no 
 more be neglected by me ; and although 
 there are many things which I can't ex- 
 plain even now, I can say, * Lord, I be- 
 lieve, help thou mine unbelief You, I 
 feel assured, will pray for me ; pray es- 
 pecially that God will give me strength 
 and grace to overcome temptation, — that 
 He will give me love to Him, and a desire 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 37 
 
 and willingness to do his commands. I 
 can't say that I feel full of religious faith 
 and hope ; but a strong, earnest purpose to 
 do the will of God, I do feel. 1 had rather 
 liave the smallest hope I ever had that I 
 was a Christian, than to live my life over 
 again for a month past. 
 
 " Can you wonder I was unable to de- 
 cide upon anything? How could I? — for 
 I had no God to go to. And may He be 
 merciful to me as I need mercy ! Please 
 write me when you find it convenient, and 
 remember me in your prayers." 
 
 It had been made evident by repeated 
 experiments that successful study could not 
 be realized in him without some radical 
 revolution of his physical system. Accord- 
 ingly a sea voyage was planned for him to 
 Bombay, in which city his elder brother 
 had previously established himself in busi- 
 ness. Frazar entered into this arrange- 
 ment with great delight. He sailed from 
 Boston, in The Sabine, Captain Hendee, on 
 
38 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 the 15tli of October, 1859, just one year 
 after his attack of fever, and landed in 
 Bombay, March 6th, I860,, having been 
 out 144 days, or nearly five months. This 
 long voyage did for him more than the 
 most sanguine of his friends had dared to 
 hope. It completely renovated his con- 
 stitution, and established his health. It 
 restored and strengthened his intellectual 
 powers, and almost new-created his moral 
 and spiritual being. It was not a voyage 
 of idleness. Though he had shipped as a 
 cabin passenger, he preferred to participate 
 in the work of the vessel ; and no man on 
 board, the captain said, worked harder. 
 He studied the vessel in all its parts and 
 powers. He made himself master of all 
 the routine duties of the sailor. He stud- 
 ied navigation, and learned as an officer to 
 work the ship. He kept a nautical jour- 
 nal with scientific accuracy and fullness. 
 Partly to perfect his knowledge of the ship 
 and partly for the exercise of his median- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 39 
 
 ical talents, in this and on the return voy- 
 age, he constructed a model vessel, which 
 he afterward bequeathed to his father as a 
 keepsake, and which is a beautiful memo- 
 rial of industry, ingenuity, and filial affec- 
 tion. 
 
 But the spiritual advantages of the voy- 
 age were far greater than all the others. 
 He liad time for reflection, he had time 
 for the study of the sacred Scriptures, he 
 had time for prayer, and under the Divine 
 teaching his mind worked itself clear of 
 those old terrific doubts, and his heart 
 opened itself to the full sunshine of God's 
 love. Out in the solemn solitudes of the 
 ocean, where he could often be alone with 
 the great deep, and the clouds, and the 
 blue expanse, and the starry night, and 
 the storms, and the Maker of them all, he 
 consecrated himself anew to Christ, and 
 learned that " believing was simply trust- 
 incr." The 2;reat battle with unbelief was 
 fought out, — the enemy in his heart had 
 
40 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 been effectually routed. He moved ever 
 afterward, in the spiritual realm of his be- 
 ing, comparatively speaking, as a conqueror. 
 Not that the Christian warfare had ended, 
 for that ends rarely except with life ; but 
 the hostile forces gained no more import- 
 ant victories, and could not longer greatly 
 disturb his peace. 
 
 In mid-ocean, he writes to his sister, 
 January 4th, 1860. 
 
 " Let us both look forward to the time 
 when you and I shall meet again, not 
 merely as brother and sister, but as fellow- 
 laborers in Christ. I might have been far 
 different from what I hope I am, if you 
 had treated me differently. Thanks be to 
 God, I hope and believe that here amid 
 the endless strife and wild confusion of the 
 ocean. He has opened my eyes. And my 
 daily prayer is, to be made more sensible 
 of my utter sinfulness and my entire de- 
 pendence on Hiyn. 
 
 " I do not know whither the Lord is di- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 41 
 
 reeling me. But wherever He says, I will 
 go, with His grace to help me." 
 
 After reaching Bombay, he writes again : 
 
 "As for riiyself, I hope I have found the 
 way to eternal life. As yet it seems faint, 
 and the light but very feeble ; but I do 
 not deserve any more, and am thankful for 
 only a little. I have been searching for a 
 long time for what is the easiest thing in 
 the world to find, and I hope to come all 
 right and grow in grace." 
 
 His brother and sister in Bombay were 
 greatly surprised by his altered appearance. 
 His robust, sound health, his spirit and cour- 
 age, his manly bearing, his elevated views, 
 and most of all his unpretending but earn- 
 est piety, delighted them. He spent two 
 months in India, where everything was 
 new and strange to him, with the greatest 
 pleasure and profit. Soon after he had 
 shipped for home, his brother writes : — 
 
 " We easily imagine your anxiety, foi 
 ^we had a brother once,' and never shall 1 
 
42 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 forget his smiling face when he first made 
 his appearance with us. He has left, too, 
 such pleasant remembrances, such gladsome 
 feelings, — for we are sure that Frazar is 
 fast anchored to that Rock from which 
 there is no parting asunder again. You 
 cannot realize the holi/^ happy change in 
 him. As father says, God did have a 
 'plan,' and has carried him safely through 
 the Slough of Despond." 
 
 As he was about leaving Bombay for 
 the home voyage he writes : 
 "My Dear Father, — 
 
 " I start on or about April 15th. But, 
 taking example of so worthy a person as 
 my father, I shall divide my letter into 
 several topics. 1st. Health ; it was never 
 better, and I, with the blessing of God, 
 shall come back a strong, healthy man. 
 2d. Spirits, — not ardent spirits, but men- 
 tal. My spirits never were better. I am 
 no longer of a dull, moping disposition, but 
 am disposed to see the world as it is, and 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 43 
 
 to make the best of everything. 3d. 'My 
 plans for the future are what I told you 
 in my last letter, subject, of course, to the 
 will of God. Lastly. I hope I am at last 
 all rio-ht in relio;ious matters. I trust I 
 have learned to put faith in Christ and 
 God, whicli is in truth believing. I have 
 the greatest faith that I shall be able to 
 rely wholly on Him, for consolation here 
 below and mercy above." 
 
 His voyage out was attended with one 
 of the heaviest gales ever known in the 
 Indian Ocean; and a storm, if possible, still 
 more terrific struck the ship on its return, 
 a few days before reaching its American 
 port. But these perils of the deep were 
 among his pastimes, and gave health to 
 his body and sublimity to his thoughts. 
 He was welcomed home, about the last 
 of August, 1860, to overflowing hearts 
 of love, and with profound gratitude to 
 God. 
 
44 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 " On renewing their acquaintance with 
 him after his return," says Professor Tyler^ 
 " his teachers and friends were not more 
 delighted with his manifest physical reno- 
 vation than with the scarcely less visihle 
 enlargement of his mind, elevation of his 
 views and improvement of his character, 
 thus forming at least one exception to the 
 maxim of the Latin poet, ' Qui trans mare 
 currunt, locum, non animum mutant.'' 
 
 " During an absence from them of two 
 years, he had almost forgotten his classics. 
 But he resumed the study of them with 
 the resolution to make himself a scholar. 
 Greek now became to him another lan- 
 guage from what it ever seemed before. 
 Not content with the studies and instruc- 
 tions of the regular course, he had com- 
 menced some private lessons with the Pro- 
 fessor, with the intention of laying broader 
 and deeper the foundations of his knowl- 
 edge of that wonderful language. And 
 though he had to begin almost at the be- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 45 
 
 ginning again, I have no doubt, he would 
 have mastered the difficulties had not the 
 call of his country soon filled his ear and 
 rendered him deaf to the remonstrances of 
 the Muses. 
 
 " I cannot bring this brief record of his 
 college life to a conclusion," he adds, " with- 
 out adverting to ^n incident which marked 
 its close, and formed a fit transition to the' 
 career of honor and self-sacrifice upon which 
 he was soon to enter. Having been appoint- 
 ed one of the speakers from the Sophomore 
 class in the prize declamations at Commence- 
 ment, he won the first prize. A classmate 
 who was poor, not only gained no prize, but 
 in consequence of having labored to the very 
 last moment, in lighting the audience-room, 
 lost his memory, and broke down in the 
 midst o£ his piece. Stearns insisted that 
 but for the exhaustion consequent upon 
 this exertion, his classmate would have 
 been a promising competitor for the honor, 
 and so constrained him to receive the prize. 
 
46 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 This fact was confided at the time only to 
 a single friend, and probably never would 
 have gone further, had it not been for the 
 young hero's early death. 
 
 " The fall of Fort Sumter," continues the 
 narrator, " which roused the nation from 
 its fatal slumber, startled young Stearns, 
 like the sound of a trumpet ; and on that 
 dark and portentous Sunday, when so many 
 ministers preached and so many congrega- 
 tions heard the Word under the fearful 
 foreboding that the flag of secession al- 
 ready darkened the capitol, the ardent and 
 generous young men of the college thought 
 it no breach of the Sabbath to enroll a 
 company, if needed, for the defence of 
 Washington ; and at the head of this list 
 of young patriot warriors, was wi-itten in 
 his own hand, the name of Ei'azar A. 
 Stearns. With the passing away of the 
 immediate danger ceased the call for imme- 
 diate action ; and the students consented to 
 relinquish the proposed military company, 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 47 
 
 for a general drill of the college. But 
 Steams never ceased to revolve the ques- 
 tion of duty to 'his country; and after the 
 disaster at Bull Run, he came to his father 
 with the news, saying : ' We have been 
 beaten, and now there is a call for Frazar 
 Stearns.' His father of course counselled 
 against precipitation, and expressed his be- 
 lief that the time had not come for young 
 men to enlist, who were in a course of 
 education. Frazar acquiesced for a. season; 
 but the fire only burned in his bones. As 
 he conversed from time to time upon the 
 subject, his arguments grew clearer and his 
 convictions deeper ; till at length his father 
 and friends were constrained to feel that 
 he had a call from God which they dared 
 not resist, and to give him the hand, say- 
 ing : ' If such are your motives and con- 
 victions, go, and God be with you ! ' 
 
 " A fact, mentioned by his physician, 
 illustrates the spirit with which he went to 
 the war, and his intention to go, not merely 
 
48 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 to hold office and win renown, but to make 
 himself useful in every possible way to the 
 men under his care. Not dong before his 
 departure, he came to the doctor and spent 
 hours in talking with him about the wounds 
 and diseases of the soldier, his fatigues on 
 the march, and his dangers in the camp, 
 as well as the various forms of death or 
 wounds in battle ; and he went to the war 
 with a knapsack of medicines, and what is 
 better, with a head fidl of practical wis- 
 dom, as well as a heart full of sympathy, 
 full}^ resolved, when necessary, to be the 
 medical as well as the military and moral 
 adviser of the men who should be intrusted 
 to his char2:e. 
 
 " It should be added, that his patriotism 
 was not a sudden impulse produced by the 
 excitement of the war. From early youth 
 he had taken a deep interest in the history 
 and prosperity of his country. And as 
 those perilous times drew near, which fore- 
 shadowed the rebellion and the war, his 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 49 
 
 mind dwelt so mucli upon those perils, that 
 amidst the dreamy wanderings of his long 
 sickness in 1859, he proposed plans, not 
 unworthy of a sound and mature under- 
 standing, for the national safety. Especially 
 he urged with great earnestness ' that his 
 father should write articles for the most 
 patriotic papers, and to the most judicious 
 men of the country ; not the extreme or the 
 party men, but to the honest, fair-minded, 
 and good, to brino; them too-ether for con- 
 sultation, and try to have the right men 
 sent to Congress, who would take up the 
 slavery question honestly and kindly, and 
 propose that the government and the na- 
 tion should offer to bear a reasonable part 
 of the expense of emancipation.' Thus 
 ready and anxious for peace, and even 
 compromise, was he then, who, when the 
 rebellion broke out and the time for com- 
 promise was over, drew his sword and 
 threw away the scabbard. 
 
 " He hoped and expected to return. But 
 
60 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 distinctly contemplating the more than pos 
 sibility of a different issue, he arranged all 
 his letters and papers, made an inventory 
 of all articles of value or interest, and left 
 written directions for their disposition if 
 he should be killed in battle. Meanwhile 
 he had been most assiduously training 
 himself in Amherst and Boston in the use 
 of the bayonet and the revolver, and in the 
 sword exercise, that he might be fitted for 
 any emergency and all his military du- 
 ties.'^ 
 
 During the year thus hastily reviewed, 
 Frazar seemed, for the most part, a singu- 
 larly happy man. His health was good ; 
 his mind sound and growing ; his heart 
 and conduct mainly right. His old relig- 
 ious doubts were gone; a final conquest had 
 been achieved, in this part of his being. 
 Whatever he might do, how much soever 
 he might wander, there could be no more 
 darkness impenetrable, for Christianity is 
 true, and Christ is the light of the world, 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 51 
 
 and there would always be hope in him 
 for the penitent. Conscious of being essen- 
 tially at peace with God, his days passed 
 pleasantly along, and the sunshine was 
 within and all about him. Notwithstand- 
 ing his excitable temperament, it is not re- 
 membered in the family that he so much 
 as once lost his temper or uttered an un- 
 kind word. Though he would express in- 
 dignation towards mean conduct, when he 
 met with it, he was generously forgiving, 
 and his charity seemed Christlike. He was 
 so gentle, too, in his bearing, that except 
 for a certain determination in his look, a 
 stranger would hardly suspect that the war- 
 rior was in him. Nor "did the condition of 
 the country, and the question of his own 
 duty in reference to it, greatly disturb his 
 composure. It gave depth, earnestness, and 
 power to his spirit, roused his anxieties, and 
 nerved him to high resolves, but did not 
 depress him. His friends at home will 
 never forget how much they enjoyed hia 
 
52 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 society that year, how much they confided 
 in him, hoped for him, and loved him ; — 
 they will only wonder that a life so beau- 
 tiful should not have conveyed' to them a 
 more distinct presentiment of its brevity. 
 
 It must not be supposed, however, that 
 he had no inward conflicts, tliat there 
 were no outward compliances, and no oc- 
 casions for self-reproof. In a strong nature 
 like his, when the ideal standard .of duty 
 is bright and high, and the conscience is 
 quick and exacting, the temperament sus- 
 ceptible, and its impulses imperious, there 
 must be many battles and perhaps some 
 reverses before the crown of final victory 
 is obtained. 
 
 A few extracts from a correspondence 
 with an intimate friend will show some- 
 thing of his ideal of goodness, his strug- 
 gles to reach it, and his bitter self-condem- 
 nation when he failed of it. 
 
 " I cannot be satisfied mth being part 
 good and the rest had. I must be good, 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 53 
 
 all good, wholly given up to the interests 
 of eternity, or had^ growing worse as I 
 grow older. But, thank God ! I am never 
 happy when doing wrong, never satisfied, 
 but there is always a longing, groaning in 
 me after something better, purer, holier ; 
 something which shall be to me in place 
 of friends, riches, worldly honor. I may be 
 saved so as by fire ; but nevertheless I be- 
 lieve I shall be saved, and God is only trying 
 me for my own good and his glory." 
 
 " I pray God, — first, that I may obey 
 Him; next, that I may gratify the highest 
 expectations of my friends for their sakes. 
 There are great temptations in college; but 
 none too strong for Jesus to overcome for 
 us." 
 
 Speaking of his intention to study closely, 
 he says : " If I cannot get excitement from 
 my books, I'll get it somewhere else, for my 
 nature craves it. But I find I am all ridit 
 
 o 
 
 when I can trust God and make Him supe- 
 rior to everything else." 
 
54 ADJUTANT STKAKNS. 
 
 " ' A man's foes are they of his own 
 household.' My greatest stiimbhng-blocks 
 are my best friends, in college." 
 
 Communion — "I felt as an outcast — as 
 one who had no right to be there. But God 
 is merciful, and He must hear me at last, if 
 I only keep trying. I have always known 
 my duty, and' wlien I have sinned, it was 
 against greater light than most. God grant 
 that I may overcome, and make Him the first 
 object of my choice ! " 
 
 " Do not think I am so good. It makes 
 me feel mean^ as though I ought to let you 
 know how wicked I am. I am a i)oor fel- 
 low, at the very best, continually shifting 
 around, inconsistent and unsteady." 
 
 " The students here are getting more 
 sober, /think, than they have been ; and I, 
 for one, hope great things for myself and 
 others in the day of prayer. Pray for me : 
 pray that I may feel my need of a Saviour ; 
 not only become intellectually but spiritually 
 convinced. Pray that I may have strength 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 55 
 
 given me to break away from every evil 
 habit, and tnist in Jesus Christ. It's a lono- 
 time, now, since I had anything to do with 
 ' those fellow\s,' to associate with whom is 
 for me spiritual death. Don't misunderstand 
 me, or think that I am now what I ouo-ht 
 to be. Far from it ; but I know that I 
 never can be a true Christian while I asso- 
 ciate with them." 
 
 "Our prayers must be answered ; for 
 what says the holy Word of God ? and, as 
 a friend once remarked to me, God's word 
 never fails. No ; ' God's word never fails,' 
 but is the same monument of love it was 
 thousands of years ago, and will continue 
 to be till God shall call his children home. 
 
 " I can't tell you how I lojig, sometimes, 
 to see my blessed mother. Many a time, the 
 thought of how sweetly she died has kept 
 me from distrusting God. And yet I know 
 that my mother was as quick in her feelings 
 as myself — impulsive and outspoken. But 
 it is God that works in us ; and I am not at 
 
56 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 all afraid but if we really trust Him, we shall 
 come out all straight. The trouble is, we 
 don't really trust God ; we only think we 
 do." 
 
 " I've been a poor ' wandering sheep ' all 
 my days. Continually, I am making up my 
 mind to try and do nearer the right ; and 
 every day and hour, I seem to be doing 
 nearer what is wu'ong. I know that for 
 me to serve God, I must do so with my 
 whole heart ; and yet I only give Him a 
 small part of my thoughts. How shall I 
 ever become a minister ? is the question 
 I often put to myself; and then tlie old 
 temptations to make money and to do 
 anything rather than be a minister, are 
 constantly coming up. Shall I ever con- 
 quer ? " 
 
 It may here be said that his mind was 
 for a while gi'eatly exercised by the ques^ 
 tion of a profession. He was never much 
 encouraged by his friends to choose the min- 
 istry, from the conviction that his tastes, 
 
ADJUTANT STEAENS. 57 
 
 temperament, health, required for him some 
 more active, physical employment. But it 
 was a question which he had to decide for 
 himself, and at one time he had nearly made 
 up his mind to enter the ministry. Yet it 
 was with gi-eat self-distinist as to his abihty 
 for this high calling, and a deep sense of 
 unworthiness. He writes : " I am going to 
 try to be a minister, and you can imagine 
 with what humiliation I say this. / a 
 minister ! " 
 
 "I've always been unhappy, when I 
 have determined not to be a minister ; and 
 in every case when I have broken away 
 from my covenant vows, I can see a rea- 
 son. A minister's life is a hard one, as a 
 friend of mine remarked the other day, 
 a thankless one. But it is a happy life. It 
 is just as plain to me as anything can be, 
 that by being a minister I shall serve God 
 and be happy ; otherwise, I shall be wretched 
 all my days. And if I pray and trust in 
 God, however much I may have wandered 
 
58 ADJUTANT STEARNS. , 
 
 from him, I know he will help me. I have, 
 as I hope, given myself heartily and en- 
 tirely up to Him, and mean to try and ob- 
 tain his blessing. I am determined to let 
 nothing stand between me and serving God. 
 If I thought that anything, however dear, 
 would interfere with my hope in Christ, I 
 would pray God to give me strength to 
 cast it from me." 
 
 " I have great hopes for Amherst Col- 
 lege. God grant we may have a powerful 
 revival ! I am selfish in this wish, for I need 
 quickening and sanctifying." 
 
 " I hope ' the boys ' will come back 
 from vacation steady and determined to do 
 well. College is a hard place, at best, to 
 keep straight in ; and when the ' Christians ' 
 get ' fast,' what can you expect the rest will 
 do ? I think that professors of religion in 
 college can't be too careful of their actions 
 and words. Many is the time I have wished 
 I could undo the past. But past is past ; 
 and all that is in our power is to try and do 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 59 
 
 riglit every day. I often think, if my mother 
 had lived I should be a much better fellow 
 than I am, and should have avoided many 
 sins. Don't you think it is hard to do right? 
 But one feels so much better when he knows 
 he is doing his duty." 
 
 " You see how hot-headed and hasty I 
 am. I am a poor stray sheep, at best, as 
 I often say ; and I sometimes think if I 
 get to heaven, it will be because God is 
 merciful, and I am to be taken away when 
 I ' have a fit ' of serving Him. Don't think 
 I mean to speak irreligiously, but that is 
 just the expression of my actions." 
 
 The extracts which follow express some 
 of his tastes and feelings with regard to his 
 studies. One of them will show also that 
 the old question of the ministry still troubled 
 him. 
 
 " I am beginning to be very fond of 
 Greek. You know I used to hate it ; but 
 now I like what was once a tedious 
 study." 
 
60 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 " I am writing on the poetry of mathe- 
 matics. Do you like mathematics ? If not 
 you must think this absurd. It is one of my 
 weaknesses to be fond of mathematics and 
 the sciences." 
 
 " I thouglit I had settled the old ques- 
 tion that has been troubling me all my life, 
 four weeks ago. I thought, vainly as it 
 seems, that I had fought the battle and 
 conquered. Alas ! I trusted too much in 
 my own strength, and find the battle is only 
 half fought, and the toughest of it is yet to 
 come. You won't think me eo^otistical if I 
 tell you just what I think. 
 
 " The great barrier to my religious hap- 
 piness has always been a desire to be a scien- 
 tific m.an ; and when I shall have graduated 
 to devote my life and all my energies to 
 chemistry. I can't explain to you how 
 passionately fond of it I am ; not as a 
 person is fond of music, or as many say 
 they are fond of languages, history, mathe- 
 matics ; but as a part almost of my very 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 61 
 
 existence. I feel as if I could do anything, 
 bear anything for its sake. 
 
 " My ambition has not been to be a Pro- 
 fesspjc Jn some college, or a lecturer, or a 
 writer on the subject ; but I have thought 
 I would give my whole life to it, and try 
 to he something in chemistry. Would to 
 God I could see my way clear I How 
 many times I have wished I could know it 
 to be my duty to be a chemist. This is the 
 question I thought I had decided, — to he a 
 minister, I knew I wasn't good enough , 
 and I knew, too, if I waited until I was, 
 I should never be one. So I made up my 
 mind, as I thought, trusting in God. I fear 
 I didn't trust Him enough. Chemistry has 
 been a golden stumbling-block to me, not 
 one year, or two, but five. I love the sci- 
 ence with no boyish enthusiasm ; but foi 
 its own sake, — for itself. Sometimes I al 
 most feel as though I could pray God to 
 let me become a chemist. Am I wrong to 
 feel s-^?" 
 
62 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 His views in reference to the war and his 
 own duty respecting it, were remarkable for 
 a young man, hardly twenty-one. He not 
 only had clear notions of the great national 
 issues, of the importance of a nation, and the 
 tern Die consequences of successful rebellion, 
 but felt that he himself had a special call to 
 fight, and die, if necessary, for his native 
 land. He revolved the matter and con- 
 versed upon it, in a calm, cheerful, but 
 earnest and martyr-like spnut. He took up 
 the dread work of war, not for honor, not 
 for pay, not for adventure, but animated by 
 a sublime patriotism, under the influence of 
 those high inspirations which stirred the 
 hearts of the old warriors of Israel, and 
 which, under Providence, " organize vic- 
 tories." A certain sacred enthusiasm, which 
 seemed to come in upon him from without, 
 bore him on steadily from the beginning till 
 it ha,d conducted him up to the altar of sac- 
 rifice. 
 
 No opposing argument could be advanced 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 63 
 
 which he had not considered. He studied 
 himself, and beh'eved that he had adapta- 
 tions for the military life ; that he had cour- 
 age, self-control, power of command and in- 
 fluence over men, and that he could inspire 
 them, at least some of them, with elevated 
 sentiments of patriotism, and perhaps with 
 something like sacred enthusiasm. He 
 thought the country was in need of edu- 
 cated men, of moral and religious men, of 
 officers who would act from principle, who 
 would feel for the privates and take care 
 of them, who would work hard to make 
 them soldiers, and perhaps Christian sol- 
 diers. These views often came out in con- 
 fidential conversations. When asked how 
 he felt in view of the possibility that a 
 cannon-hall might send him into eternity in 
 an instant, he answered, " I hope of course 
 to escape and to return home ; but I have 
 .thought of all this, and if it should be God's 
 will, I think I am ready." When younp- 
 Ellsworth was killed, he said, " It is a glc 
 
64 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 rious death. I should be wUHno; to have 
 stood in his place, if I could save the 
 country." 
 
 Extracts from his letters will show some 
 of his views on this subject, and exhibit his 
 character in other respects. 
 
 " About going to the war — at present 
 there is no necessity, for troops are vol- 
 unteering faster than they can be supplied, 
 or officered, or sent off. But when there is 
 need of 77ie, I shall not hesitate to go at a 
 moment's warning. I think it will be my 
 duty. 
 
 " If God tells me to go and fight, oi 
 even die, for my country, would you tell 
 me not to go ? It is not such an awful 
 thing to die, though to the flesh it may 
 seem hard. The end of life is not to live, 
 but to do what God wants us to do ; and 
 it matters not whether He wishes one to 
 die here, or abroad, or on the battle field, 
 or at- home, so long as one is doing his 
 duty." 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 65 
 
 " The question is coming nearer and near- 
 er to one^ — will you go and do your duty 
 to your country ? The news to-day, though 
 not of a positive character, looks very^ very 
 dark. God grant the future may brighten ! 
 But we must not disguise the fact from 
 ourselves, that this is to be a lono- war. 
 Neither can we look away from the fact 
 that, as time rolls by and the war pro- 
 gresses, the troops will become 'disabled, 
 and there will be a call for more men. 
 Where are they to come from? My trust 
 is not in Abraham Lincoln, not in General 
 Scott, but in God, for the right must win. 
 But young as I am, I foresee a long and 
 tedious and bloody war. Remember me in 
 your prayers. Pray God to give me a 
 trustino; and believino; heart." 
 
 "I am very wicked, and God only knows 
 the extent of it. It seems as if I was liv- 
 ing wholly for self, without any considera- 
 tion of those around me. Oh ! that I had 
 never uttered an expression but of loyalty 
 
66 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 to God ! But I have often, and do still, by 
 mj example deny Christ. May God in his 
 infinite mercy help me to see my way clear 
 through all this trying time ! I am going 
 to try and trust God as I never did be- 
 fore. I hope you will pray ve'n/ earnestly/ 
 for me, that he will come and bless me 
 now. I cannot stand this pressure of ex- 
 citement ; something must give way, and, 
 if' it cd!itinues, God only knows what ; 
 still I shall be prepared to go whenever 
 my country calls me." 
 
 " When I am called I shall 20 : but 
 I hope most devoutly now, that I shall 
 not be called till I have graduated at Am- 
 herst." 
 
 " I fear the worst is not yet come. 
 We may expect gloomy times before long, 
 and I, for one, am going to put myself in 
 training, so as to serve my country when 
 the time comes for it. 
 
 " Have you heard the war news ? I'm 
 sure you have, and of the fighting too. I 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 67 
 
 can think of nothing else ; and I hope God 
 will give me grace to go and fight, if it 
 be His will. You ask me, if I am tired 
 of life ? No ! not quite yet ; but if I 
 could be assured of falling at peace with 
 Heaven, I would be willing to go notv.^^ 
 
 Having received a commission as 1st 
 Lieut, of Company I, in the 21st Regi- 
 ment of Massachusetts Volunteers, he was 
 ordered on the 21st of August, with his 
 regiment, to Washington, and was soon 
 stationed at Annapolis. While at Annap- 
 olis, he attracted the attention of Gen. 
 Reno, who offered him a position as aid- 
 de-camp. But after reflecting on the sub- 
 ject of his duty in reference to it, he 
 politely, but firmly, declined the flattering 
 offer. He said in his letters, home, that he 
 had made up his mind to stick by the 
 regiment ; that his company actually need- 
 ed him in it ; that he was determined to 
 fight for his country ; to deserve promo- 
 tion- before receivino; it. He adds: — "I 
 
68 . ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 have left everything to fight for my coun- 
 try. If, in the course of events, I should 
 prove a good soldier, fit to command men, 
 and an ahle officer ; . and if God in his 
 great mercy should spare my life, my suc- 
 cesses would then, of course, he measured, 
 at least in some degree, hy my advance- 
 ment. A good officer is always known ; 
 and if you will excuse me for saying so, 
 the qualifications of a good officer are, 
 besides courage, intelligence, energy, good 
 breeding, and a certain knack and power 
 in commandincr men." 
 
 A portion of his correspondence while at 
 Annapolis may be of interest. 
 
 "Naval Academy, Annapolis, Sept. 4th, 1861. 
 "My Dear Father, — 
 
 " Yours of the 30th ult. came to hand 
 last night, just as I was preparing to turn 
 in. I assure you 3-our letters are hailed 
 with the greatest interest, and read over 
 and over again. When you have five 
 minutes leisure, remember that you have 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 69 
 
 a son who has left a good home and 
 everything which can make hfe pleasant, 
 for the discomforts of tlie camp. Remem- 
 ber that he is comparatively among stran- 
 gers and in the midst of proflinity and vice. 
 Remember that he has gone to save his 
 country, and, that there are chances that 
 you all will never see him again, or be 
 able to minister to his comfort, other than 
 by writing a line now and then. I don't 
 w^rite with the blues. I havn't them. I'm 
 twice the man I was when I left you ; but 
 I do anticipate news from home, and I say 
 then, if you have time, write me if it be 
 every day. 
 
 " I am getting along finely, and the men 
 appear to like me. I am very pleasant, 
 but not familiar off duty, and very strict 
 on duty. The men take an interest in 
 drilling, Avith one or two exceptions, and 
 those I " put tlirougli.^^ You know me 
 well enougli to know that I can tolerate 
 anything but indifference and laziness." 
 
70 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 " Sept. 14th. 
 " What win become of our country, is a 
 question which I ask myself daily, hourly. 
 To this there seems at present no solution ; 
 no one but the Almighty can foresee the re- 
 sult. I am glad I came here, glad for many 
 reasons. I am glad because I hold it to 
 be my duty to fight for and devote all my 
 energies to my government. When I left 
 home I thought it was not the duty of stu- 
 dents to enlist. I can't say I think so now. 
 We are in absolute need of more men at 
 once, and to the number of 200,000. How 
 shall we get them ? By raising three regi- 
 ments in Massachusetts, another in Rhode 
 Island, two or more in Connecticut, and 
 waiting the pleasure of the people to en- 
 list ? No ! We have had play long en- 
 ough. If we ever expect to overcome, 
 we must gird on the sword. I believe it 
 to be the duty of every^ man wdio is fit to 
 bear arms, to come forward and offer him- 
 self to the government. The old excuse 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 71 
 
 is no longer valid. There are not enough 
 men. Our cities are menaced, and our 
 very homes threatened, merely because we 
 are willing to pay money but not enlist 
 ourselves. I want to see the North 
 aroused. God grant it may be so." 
 
 " Tank Station, Annapolis, Sept. 25th. 
 "My Dear Father, — 
 
 " I have received all your letters and am 
 very^ very grateful to you all for writing so 
 often to me. I am daily greeted by a letter 
 as the cars pass by my picket, which I take 
 to my tent and eagerly devour. Monday we 
 received information that a troop of thirty 
 cavalry were coming down from Baltimore 
 to try and cross our pickets. Of course it 
 put us on the ' qui vive ; ' and, after giving 
 out thirty rounds of ammunition, I told the 
 men they would be obliged to be awake all 
 night, and if we had a fight I expected every 
 man would stand by me. I told them to be 
 cool and not get excited, and obey every 
 order implicitly ; that, while I expected every 
 
72 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 man would do his duty, and not flinch, the 
 first man whom I detected turnino; his back 
 I would shoot. If the cavalry had come our 
 company would have done themselves credit. 
 But farewell to all hopes of glory. They 
 didn't come, and I must say I was very much 
 dlsaiypointed^ for I expected a fight. I hadn't 
 the least fear, and never went into a thing 
 more coolly in my life. I had everything so 
 arranged that I could tell by means of scouts 
 when the enemy were withlji two miles. 
 And if the signal had been given, I was 
 going to barricade the road, put six men to 
 cut off their retreat, the rest behind trees, 
 &c., where they couldn't be seen, and I am 
 confident we should have captured the whole 
 of them. At any rate, they wouldn't have 
 gone by easily. I am not boasting ; not a 
 bit of it. A man ought not to be cowardly 
 in such a cause ; and how can you terrify 
 one who can look death in the face, and 
 has made up his mind that his life is his 
 country's, and expects death at every turn ? 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 73 
 
 If I can save my country better by dying 
 now than living, I am ready for it. 
 
 " Meantime pray for me without ceasing, 
 not that I may return safely, but that God 
 may bless me spiritually." 
 
 " Tank Station, Oct. 3d. 
 "Dear Father, — 
 
 " I received yesterday two letters, one 
 
 from you, the other from N ^, dated 
 
 September 30th. N says she don't be- 
 lieve I appreciate your letters half as much 
 as you do mine. If anybody could see me 
 watching for the mail train and see the ex- 
 pression of my countenance when I get a let- 
 ter, I think that idea would be speedily done 
 away with. I frequently walk a mile and one 
 half for the sake of getting the letters two 
 hours sooner. But I don't think it necessary 
 to tell jovl that I like letters from home; you 
 all know it, and I am sure will w^rite to me 
 as often as you can. 
 
 " I think we shall winter at Annapolis. 
 On many accounts I am glad, and on others 
 
74 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 soriy, — glad, for we shall then be in a con- 
 dition to do good service, and shall not be 
 likely to get cut to pieces, — sorry, because 
 we shall not see fighting until Spring. I 
 would give anything to be in the coming 
 campaign. But cid hono ? I must accept 
 the cross and do my duty here. 
 
 " Now why I advocate and call so loudly 
 for everybody, particularly the best portion 
 of our community, to enlist and come down 
 here is, 1 believe that under God, this war is 
 to be virtually decided in one year's time : of 
 course it will take longer to right everything, 
 but it will be a war, not only with arms, but 
 to be waged with words. And the more 
 Northerners that can pour down here, and 
 the better their position, so much the quick- 
 er shall we reassure the South and save our 
 country. That's the reason I say to one and 
 all, ' Come and lielj) us.' Come and let the 
 South know who you are, and by demonstrat- 
 ing the utter absurdity of their fears, save 
 the Union. If all the colleges would organ- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 75 
 
 ize themselves into a brigade, and their presi- 
 dents go as diaplains, and their professors as 
 officers or privates, the effect throughout the 
 Soutli would be electrical. Thousands would 
 spring up to welcome them, and some iopray 
 with them on Southern soil. And now, my 
 dear father, let me say to you, I think, under 
 God, you have a duty to perform : when the 
 call comes, do you set the example and go 
 as chaplain of some regiment. Thousands 
 would follow you into the field ; and, whether 
 you should live or die, your name would as- 
 cend on the lips of the nation, and your soul 
 would go up to God filled with his Holy 
 Spirit. 
 
 " Said a gentleman to me the other day, 
 one of the most influential men in the State, 
 ' Mr. Stearns, I was really sorry when I heard 
 that Massachusetts men were coming to guard 
 this road. I thought them the worst people 
 in the workl, and I was actually dreading 
 their approach. But,' he says, ' so far from 
 realizing our expectations, we have found 
 
76 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 them the best men, — gentlemen^ Jcind, social, 
 full of fiyie feelings, higlily mindful of our 
 feelings, respecting our py^operty ; and I know 
 of three or four gentlemen who have com- 
 pletely changed their opinions on their ac- 
 count.' Said he, ' We don't know you, and 
 I want, when you go back to Massachusetts, 
 that you should remember us and we you." 
 
 '' Tank House Station, Oct. 6th. 
 "My Dear Mother, — 
 
 " I have just received a letter from father, 
 dated October 3d, also his sermon. I hope 
 that he will continue to preach such sermons 
 until the North become sensible of their dan- 
 ger. Preach, I say, at all times and in every 
 pulpit. Preach that the great mass of the 
 Northern people must become aroused before 
 they can hope to compete with the South and 
 the leaders of Secession. Let every man and 
 boy who can, take up arms and go to the 
 war, trusting to the God of Abraham, Isaac, 
 and Jacob. Oh, that I could see the coun- 
 try awake to their danger ; that I could see 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 77 
 
 them all on their knees praying to God to 
 forgive their sins and help them in the right ! 
 As father says, the North can never succeed 
 until they humble themselves before God. 
 Would that I had the pen of an angel to 
 write and stir up the people ! Would that 
 any poor words of mine could induce any 
 one, large or small, high or low, to join in 
 the struo^o;le ! 
 
 " The war now before us is not like that 
 of the Revolution. We must give, not only 
 our treasures and our sons, but ourselves. 
 I want to see the whole country awake. It 
 seems as though they were all dead or asleep. 
 Fremont is in Missouri, and the cry comes 
 from there, ' more men.' Anderson is in 
 Kentucky, and the cry comes from there, 
 ' more men,' notv at once. From all sides 
 comes the cry, ' more men, more men of self- 
 sacrificing spirit, — men wlio hioiv lioio to die.'' 
 No ! they prefer to fight by sitting in their 
 arm-chairs, by drawing around their chim- 
 ney-fires, by poring over books and clas- 
 
78 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 sics, by making money, by encouraging 
 trade, by self-indulgence and not by self- 
 denial, by anything, in short, but* giving 
 themselves up to the struggle, body and soul^ 
 saying, ' Lord, what wilt thou have me to 
 do ? ' What would rouse the country quicker 
 to a sense of its danger tlian to see all its 
 educated men going to fight the battles of 
 the Lord? God grant something may be 
 done by somebody and that speedily ! " 
 
 Li answer to the suggestion of some one 
 that many soldiers, perhaps most who die, 
 may die ingloriously, he adds ; 
 
 " I am very sure I am quite ready to die 
 an ir/nominioas death, as a private or officer, 
 or do anything for our beloved country." 
 
 » Tank House Station, Oct. 21st. 
 "My Dear Father, — 
 
 " I thank you for the good opinion you 
 entertain of me. I shall strive never to 
 disgrace you ; but just now what I want is 
 ' grace,' and I ask you all not to pray 
 that I may return safely, but that I may 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 79 
 
 C.nd God as I have never done before, that 
 I may depend on Him in all my ways, 
 that I may learn of Him, go to him with 
 all my troubles and perplexities. I feel the 
 need of God, and I know I have not yet 
 found Him as I can if I have faith given 
 me to pray. I cannot bear all my cares 
 alone. I must have some sustaining hand 
 to guide me. I am searching after God. 
 T want you to tell me how to find Him. 
 Write me a good long flitherly letter, and 
 let it be soon. I feel with the strength 
 He can give us, we can all go forward, 
 whether in battle or otherwise, our lives 
 beino; in the hands of God." 
 
 " November 1 7tb. 
 "My Dear Father, Mother, Sisters and 
 Brother, — 
 " I must write, I think, to you in a body, 
 until we go off; for you must know that I 
 am going off, on the next expedition under 
 Gen. Burnside. Last ni^ht Col. Morse in- 
 formed us that we had received orders to 
 
80 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 go : we were perfectly crazy. Gen. Burn- 
 side is a splendid man, and I can go any- 
 where with him ; we are to have rifles and 
 everything which heart could desire. In 
 fine we are to be admirably accoutred in 
 every respect, and are all of us wild with 
 delight. We shall have some fighting in 
 old Carolina. Six months hence, if I live, 
 I shall have passed through stirring events. 
 Much love to all." 
 
 " Annapolis, Dec. 22d. 
 " My Dear Father, — 
 
 " I have received all your letters, and 
 thank you for writing so frequently and 
 giving me such good advice. I left off, I 
 think, in E.'s letter telling her about our 
 new guns, and how proud our poor fellows 
 are of them. They have served longer 
 than any regiment about here, and know 
 pretty well how to take care of guns. I 
 am sm-e they will use them well ; for they 
 know how, and are proud of them. I have 
 a Frenchman in the company. ' Oh ! ' he 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 81 
 
 says to me, ' mon fusil est tres jolV Well, 
 I am getting to be a boy myself with talk- 
 ing about the guns. The fact is, I am de- 
 lighted, and as much of a boy as any of 
 them. I have had foreboding-s about our 
 going into battle with bad guns. I have 
 seen our regiment cut up terribly as those 
 at Ball's Bluff. I have seen them fightinor 
 nobly, thvwing away their lives, for those 
 abominable rebels. But, thank God ! we 
 shall at least die like men. Burnside's ex- 
 pedition is to sail in a week or two ; and 
 he says, whoever goes with him will see 
 hard fighting. Why canH you come and 
 see me hefore I go. You have only one 
 son fighting for his country. You knoio 
 the chances — perhaps I may never see you 
 again. It will take only four days. 
 
 " Your affectionate son." 
 
 " Annapolis, Dec. 29th. 
 My Dear Father, — 
 
 We are just this minute in receipt of ex- 
 citing orders from Gen. Burnside. They are 
 
82 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 — the colonels of the different regiments 
 will be prepared to march with three days* 
 provisions, at twelve hours' notice. We are 
 on the eve of great events. At any rate, I 
 will venture to say that we are being in- 
 troduced into new things, and we shall see 
 what will astound the world. A great na- 
 tion, free and independent^ literally so, will 
 be born, and the world shall rejoice." 
 
 The request of Dec. 22d, " Come and 
 see me before I go," could not be de- 
 nied. Though the journey, undertaken in 
 ill health, was the occasion of a fever and 
 many weeks of nervous prostration, it will 
 of course never be regretted. It gave op- 
 portunity^ not only of witnessing something 
 of camp life and the movements of a divi- 
 sion, but for conversations and sympathies, 
 and last words, not then known to be 
 the last — which can never be forgotten. 
 These were brought to a close by the or- 
 dering of the regiment, to go on board The 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 83 
 
 Northerner, wliicli they did on the 6th of 
 January, 1862. 
 
 Lieut. Stearns, who had now been pro- 
 moted to the office of acting adjutant, 
 writes again : 
 
 " Off Hatteras Inlet, Jan. 15th. ^^ 
 
 " My time is greatly occupied. My du- 
 ties are constant and heavy. We are 
 going into North Carohna. You may ex- 
 pect great events in the next two or three 
 weeks." 
 " Steamer Northerner, at' Hatteras, Jan. 21st. 
 
 " If I am spared, expect me home to 
 graduate. If not, remember that I could 
 not possibly have an easiei' or more glori- 
 ous death.' 
 
 The public have all heard of the severe 
 trials of this expedition on its way to the 
 field of action. The terrific gale — the al- 
 most impossibility of getting over the bar — 
 the wreck of several vessels. The steamer 
 Northerner was at one time aground, and 
 
84 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 twelve others with her. She was also 
 twice badly stove by other vessels running 
 mto her. This caused tlie young Adjutant 
 great care and labor, and excited in him 
 for a short time, the fear that the expedi- 
 tion might fail to realize the expectation 
 of the public. But his confidence soon 
 returned, and he used it efficiently to aid 
 the courage of others, and to help on 
 the important results which soon fol- 
 lowed. 
 
 When the news of the battle of Roanoke 
 Island reached his friends, they examined 
 the papers, in common with thousands of 
 other families, with palpitating hearts. Not 
 finding his name among the list of the dead 
 or wounded, they breathed more freely for 
 a time. The next day, the papers said : 
 " Adjutant Stearns, in. the head, slightly ; " 
 " Adjutant Stearns, in the head and neck, 
 not badly." Hopefully, but very anxiously, 
 more definite information was waited for. 
 At length, nearly a week later, came a 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 85 
 
 hurried line, in pencil, from his own well- 
 known hand. 
 
 "Februaiy 10th, 1862. 
 " Dear Father, — 
 
 " We are in possession of Roanoke Is- 
 land. I am well, though slightly wounded. 
 I shall be over it in a few days. I received 
 a ball, in my forehead and in my neck, 
 both slight. I was very fortunate. 
 
 " Your affectionate son, 
 
 " Frazar." 
 
 His conduct in this battle was the sub- 
 ject of commendation by his superior of- 
 ficers and by the press. Lieut. Col. Maggi, 
 commanding the 21st, says of him, in his 
 official report, after complimenting the whole 
 regiment in the highest terms : " I shall men- 
 tion two — Capt. T. S. Foster and Lieut. F. 
 A. Stearns, acting adjutant — not because 
 they fought more bravely, but because they 
 were, by the force of circumstances, obliged 
 to stand for a longer time in a more dan- 
 gerous position than any others. 
 
86 ADJUTANT STKAKNS. 
 
 " The last two had been, durmo; all the 
 fight, coolly and bravely at my side, from 
 the begmning till the end. Both have been 
 wounded : the first, by a bullet in the left 
 leg, and the second slightly, in the right 
 temple and in the neck." 
 
 The special correspondent of " The N'ew 
 York Tribune," in his account of the bat- 
 tle, says : " Gen. Reno mentions with great 
 praise the behavior of Lieut. Stearns, of the 
 21st Massachusetts, who, wounded twice, in 
 the head, each time returned to the field, 
 and in this condition fouMit with his recri- 
 ment till the end of the day." 
 
 Some days later than this. Major Clark, 
 who had been promoted, and was now the 
 lieutenant colonel commanding, writes of 
 him : " Lieut. F. A. Stearns is acting as my 
 adjutant, and is a very valuable oflScer, — 
 intelligent, faithful, and brave as the brav- 
 est. In the battle of the 8th February, 
 he was prostrated by a bullet which struck 
 the visor of his cap and his forehead ; but 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 87 
 
 immediately sprang to his feet, the bloQd 
 streaming down his face, and iTished for- 
 ward with his comrades to the charge upon 
 the battery. During the same terrific vol- 
 ley from the enemy, a rifle ball passed over 
 his rioht shoulder and throuo-h his coat col- 
 lar, cutting a shallow wound, about three 
 inches in length, on the back of his neck."% 
 
 His own account of this battle will be 
 read with interest : 
 
 " This is the first opportunity I have had 
 to write a letter, having been somewhat used 
 up by the fatigue and exposure consequent 
 on the battle of the 8th inst. I am happy 
 to begin by telling you all at home, dear 
 ones, whom I think of so often, that I am 
 now in my usual good health. 
 
 "Friday, the 7th of Feb., early in the 
 morning, we were ordered to be in readi- 
 ness to embark on board The Patuxent, 
 which is a fight-draft vessel, drawing only 
 about six feet. At about 12 a. m., we were 
 on board, after filling our haversacks with 
 
88 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 three days' provisions, and our stomachs 
 witli a good dinner. The men were in fine 
 order, gay, lively, even frolicsome ; every 
 gun ready, and in good order, and, above all, 
 a good colonel at our head. The gunboats 
 had been shelling tlie fort on Roanoke Island 
 all the morning. We passed by Gen. Burn- 
 ^side's boat, and our men gave him three 
 rousing cheers with a good will. The pik)t 
 guided us skilfully and carefully to the land. 
 The boat glided up a cove, until we ran 
 aground only a boat's length from shore. 
 We brought up a boat and made a bridge, 
 and all our men passed safely over on to the 
 land, without wetting a foot. The Colonel 
 immediately placed one of our skirmisli com- 
 panies in advance, and then ordered the reg- 
 iment to be formed upon the shore, which 
 was a marsh like those in Duxbury. We 
 were the only regiment which formed reg- 
 ularly on the shore. The 2oth was already 
 there, and also part of one brigade. This 
 was about 4 p. m. of the 7th inst. After we 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 85 
 
 had landed, Gen. Reno, our brigadier-gen- 
 eral, came up, and said : ' Cul. Maggi, you 
 will go ahead and take possession of the road 
 leading to the batteries of the enemy, and 
 your regiment will be on picket to-night.' 
 So forward we went, and advanced up the 
 road, which led us through a dense wood 
 of pine and cypress and tangled under- 
 growth, throwing out our advanced guard 
 on either flank. At last, we came to a 
 pond, by which we could not pass. It was 
 here that one of Company G was shot by 
 a rebel picket, at about 7 p. m. We found 
 the enemy were near, and concluded it was 
 best to stop for the night. So Gen. Foster, 
 of the 1st, and Gen. Reno, of the 2d Brig- 
 ade, coming up at this time with a battery 
 and one piece, we posted ourselves for the 
 night, within sight of the rebel camp-fires. 
 Being on picket, not one of the regiment 
 could sleep. No fires could be built, and 
 beside these discomforts, a heavy rain con- 
 tinued to fall at intervals during the whole 
 
90 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 night. The men never so much as com- 
 plained, nor did they act imprudently, but 
 were as silent as they should have been in 
 the presence of the enemy. At light, on 
 Saturday morning, the 8th inst., we began 
 to build fires, and soon came an order from 
 Gen. Burnside to allow the 1st Briiiade 
 to pass our lines. This made us feel very 
 unpleasantly, because it always belongs to 
 the regiment which has stood on picket to 
 first have the honor of engaging the enemy. 
 But of course we had to submit, and Gen. 
 Foster passed through at the head of his 
 brigade. Soon the fire opened, and we 
 could hear the shots right in advance, and 
 see the wounded being borne back. Our 
 men never flinched. Gen. Reno came to 
 Col. Maggi, and pointing to a dense, almost 
 impenetrable cypress swamp, said : ' Col- 
 onel, you must flank the battery.' Col. 
 Maggi led the way ; I followed ; then Capt. 
 Foster, leading his company. After an hour 
 of almost superhuman effort, cutting bushes 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 91 
 
 with our swords, and wading to our mid- 
 dle in bogs and water, two companies 
 got on to the flank of tlie battery, and 
 beo-an the fire. Our Colonel was every- 
 where cool as he is sometimes excitable, 
 and as brave as a lion. Seeing the men 
 were shooting to little purpose, he ordered 
 them to cease firing, and then in a loud 
 voice told them to fire only when they 
 could see theii' mark. 
 
 " For two hours and a half, these two com- 
 panies kept up a scattering but well-directed 
 fire. At about Ij- A. M., Major Clark came 
 up with the rest of the regiment, and Gen. 
 Reno ordered us to charge bayonets. We 
 did so, crossing over one hundred yards of 
 exposed ground. It was here the bullets 
 poured in like rain. We were ordered to 
 halt, fire, and, lying down behind a little 
 natural elevation, to load. Then we were 
 ordered to charge bayonets, and rising up, 
 we could see the enemy running. I never 
 in my life saw a sight so magnificent. I 
 
92 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 
 
 never was so thrilled. As our noble men 
 advanced with bayonets fixed, at a short 
 quick step, a low involuntary cry burst from 
 their lips. It was no war-cry ; it was a 
 cry of exultation, of joy, which came leap- 
 ino; from a thousand hearts, swellincr into 
 a perfect storm of cheers as we entered the 
 battery, which consisted of two thirty-two 
 pounders and one twelve pounder, supported 
 by about 1500 men. The 51st Regiment 
 was close behind ; also Hawkins's Zouaves. 
 But WE turned the battery, and Gen. Burn- 
 side said so to Col. Mai]^o;i. Old Massachu- 
 setts' flag was soon floating on the battery, 
 and with proud hearts we once more formed 
 into line to pursue the enemy. 
 
 " It was during that murderous volley 
 that most of our men were killed ; and I 
 received two slio-ht wounds, one in the neck 
 and one in the forehead, which knocked 
 me over. But I was soon up, rejoicing at 
 my good fortune, and never felt the wounds 
 till twenty-four hours after." 
 
f 
 
 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 9^ 
 
 "Feb. 19th. 
 "My Dear All: — 
 
 " I left off in my last letter just where w^ 
 entered the battery of the enemy. Then 
 were three guns, two of them twenty- foui 
 or tliirty-two pounders, the other a sixteer 
 pounder, — all brass pieces. After a few 
 moments *of congratulations, we formed litie 
 and started in pursuit of the enemy. AL 
 along the road was strewed in confusion, 
 guns, knapsacks, blankets, canteens, and 
 everything which belongs to the equipments 
 of a soldier. We sent out skirmishers, but 
 the enemy were too much demoralized to 
 make a stand. After marchino; about four 
 miles, we came to a large open space, and 
 sent out a detachment to reconnoitre a farm- 
 house a few rods distant. There we took 
 about eight or ten prisoners, — one of them 
 an aid of Gov. Wise's son. After restinor 
 
 o 
 
 here about an hour, and drying our clothes, 
 which were soaked throuo;h and through, 
 we started again. We took about one hun- 
 
M ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 dred prisoners on the way, dressed In gray 
 coats, some of them wounded, others hmp- 
 incr. After a march of about three niiles 
 more, we came to a row of barracks, and 
 then found that the whole of the forces on 
 the island had surrendered, — some two 
 thousand in number. This number was 
 after increased to some three tHbusand or 
 more, by the gun-boats and detachments 
 comino; over from the main land. You 
 may imagine that we were well satisfied 
 with our undertaking. You may well be- 
 lieve that, tired though we were, and wet 
 and hungry, our hearts were full. About 
 forty-four of our regiment were killed or 
 wounded, — five killed, and the rest wound- 
 ed, of whom two have since died. 
 
 " I cannot but hope God will grant that 
 I may return in safety home, and live to 
 praise His name in Amherst. The bullets 
 whistled all around me, — the cannon shots 
 flew over me, — and yet none hit me until 
 the very last. Then, as if God wished to 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 95 
 
 sliow me how kind lie was to me, I was lilt 
 twice, first by a ball which passed within one 
 Fourth of an inch of my spine, made a little 
 furrow in my neck, and passed through my 
 shirt, vest, coat, and overcoat. The other, 
 a buck-shot, entered my cap, passed through 
 and hit me on the right forehead. A stun- 
 ning sensation, a feeling of faintness, and I 
 sank down on the ground. Then I revived, 
 and crawling a few steps, I found I was all 
 right, though the blood was streaming down 
 my face. I thank God that I was permitted 
 that day to do something for my country. 
 
 " I never felt my wound until twenty-four 
 hours after the battle, when it caused me 
 some trouble for two or three days ; but it 
 is now quite well. God grant I may see 
 you all, dear ones, again, and that together 
 we may thank Him for preserving you from 
 any harm, and me from the bullet and can- 
 non-shot, and more still, from the moral pes- 
 tilence of camp-life. Pray for me that my 
 faith may be strengthened, — that my pur- 
 
 L- 
 
96 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 poses may all be changed for righteous- 
 ness. 
 
 " Elizabeth City, has been taken by our 
 forces, and we are now awaiting orders. 
 
 " We hope to go soon to Newbern, or 
 somewhere in the vicinity, but cannot tell 
 as to our whereabouts. But remember one 
 thing, wherever I go I am in God's hands ; 
 and though I have been very remiss in the 
 past, I cannot but hope He will forgive my 
 short-comings, and guard me in future, spir- 
 itually as well as physically. 
 
 " Our men, although up all Friday night 
 before the battle, fouo;ht like timers. ' The 
 reason was : 1st. Because every officer 
 knew his duty and did it. 2d. Because 
 the men were well fed and care taken of 
 them. 3d. Because they had a Colonel 
 who knew what he was about, and is a 
 gentleman besides. God grant this unhappy 
 war may cease ! He seems to be doing the 
 work now, and I must hope that He will 
 achieve the victory for us ; but we must give 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 97 
 
 Him the credit. As when He told Gideon 
 to leave most of his men behind, so now He 
 seems to be working for us. He is our best 
 Major-General ; and where can the enemy 
 find such an one, though educated at West 
 Point and trained by years of actual expe- 
 rience ? " 
 
 Writing to his little brother, he says : — 
 
 " I am well, and thank God for it. When 
 we first arrived I was very, very tired. It 
 was Saturday night of the 8th February. I 
 was wet^ hungry^ dirty. After building up a 
 roaring fire, and pulling off my boots, — 
 which came off rather hard, for you must 
 remember that I had stood in the swamp 
 three and a half hours, over my boots in 
 mud and water, — I turned in, with hardly 
 a thing to eat, and slept pretty well. In 
 the morning I felt stiff and sore, and very 
 much perplexed to find that my boots were 
 as stiff as shingles, and one of the boot-legs 
 nearly burned off. 
 
98 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 "I hope to see you all again, but not 
 before this terrible war is finished. Then^ 
 if God spares my life, I hope to live at 
 home once more, and graduate. I have a 
 contraband, — a first-rate boy, — who re- 
 fused to go off with his master when taken 
 prisoner. Poor negroes ! I cannot but pity 
 them. Let us settle this war, and then by 
 some method free the slaves. I have more 
 faith in God every day, and less in man. 
 He can bring us out of all this trouble, and 
 He alone. I don't put my trust in men ; 
 but I hope I do in God. He must prevail. 
 It is an axiom. How can God's word fail ? 
 Be a good boy, W. Remember to read 
 your Bible every day, and pray every morn- 
 ing and night. You want to be a brave 
 boy, I know. Well, you can be as brave 
 and braver than any who fought on Roan- 
 oke Island on the 8th. It takes more cour- 
 age to say No, when a naughty boy asks 
 you to do wrong, oftentimes, than to face a 
 battery. Good night. God bless you all. A 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 99 
 
 kiss for each of the girls and mother. Love 
 to father. 
 
 " Your affectionate brother, 
 
 " Frazar." 
 
 Writing to one of his sisters, he says : — 
 
 "March 8th. 
 
 "Our arms are all victorious, and our 
 cause just and holy ; while the enemy are 
 dispirited, tired of fighting, and begin to see 
 that they are in the wrong. Give God the 
 glory, for He has done it. We shall rise 
 out of our ashes a greater and nobler nation 
 than ever before. 
 
 " My love to all. If I ever see you again, 
 how many things I shall have to tell you ! 
 But if not, God grant I may fall fighting 
 bravely, our arms victorious to the last ! 
 Love to all my friends. I prophesy that 
 four months from now, — by the 4th of 
 July, — peace will be proclaimed ; and I 
 hope that soon after I may thank God with 
 you for our success." 
 
100 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 The following is the last letter the young 
 officer ever wrote to his friends at home. 
 It breathes the same spirit of courage, gen- 
 erosity, and resignation which has appeared 
 so characteristic of him. It was written on 
 board The Northerner, only five days before 
 the fatal battle at Newbern : — 
 
 " Steamer Northerner, oflf Roanoke Island, 
 
 "March 9th. 
 "My Dear Mother, — 
 
 " The bearer of this note is , a pri- 
 vate of Company H, who is on a furlough of 
 sixty days, on account of a wound received 
 at Roanoke Island on the 8th February. 
 You will, I know, take good care of him, 
 and do everything possible, for my sake. 
 Just think you are helping me, and I know 
 you will try and do everything in your 
 power for him. He will tell you all about 
 the fight at Roanoke, and the particulars of 
 that glorious day. 
 
 " We are going to-morrow morning at 
 daylight somewhere, — where, exactly, I 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 101 
 
 don't know. If Newbern, we shall prob- 
 ably meet with resistance ; and the same 
 if our destination is Weldon, or Winton, or 
 any of those places in the vicinity of the 
 railroad in the northern part of North Car- 
 olina. 
 
 " I am well provided for in every respect, 
 and am as comfortable as can be ; and thank 
 God for it ! My health is very good, and I 
 am taking good care to keep it so* God 
 only knows what a day may bring forth. 
 He only can tell what may happen to me 
 on the morrow ; but always remember that 
 any hour or any moment may bring you news 
 that I am killed or dangerously wounded. 
 If either, then God's will be done ; and I 
 hope I may always be prepared for any 
 issue. 
 
 " These are horrible times, when every 
 man's hand is against his neighbor. But I 
 have hope. Let the North pray more ; let 
 them give the glory to God and not to man, 
 and these days which are rolling by shall be 
 
102 ADJUTAl^T STEARNS. 
 
 full of glorious victories, which are soon, 
 very soon, to bring on peace." 
 
 When the news of his death reached 
 Amherst, by telegraph, March 18th, his 
 friends were all taken by surprise. Of 
 course they had feared such a result, and 
 had supposed it might come suddenly. But 
 he had just passed through the exposures 
 and perils of Roanoke. It was thought, 
 also, that the same regiment would not 
 immediately be put foremost again. No 
 rumors of the battle of Newborn had been 
 made public. Letters of a hopeful character 
 had been received from him the evening 
 before. Anxious hearts of love were just 
 then beo-innino; to beat with more than com- 
 mon freedom. The news, prudently and 
 tenderly announced by Professor Tyler, 
 broke upon them like a thunderbolt. But 
 God sustained them. How the dear boy 
 had met his death, — whether instantly, or 
 after protracted agonies, — whether life had 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 103 
 
 rushed out through ghastly wounds, or had 
 flowed gently away, — whether there were 
 dying messages, or no parting words, — 
 could not be known for some days- longer. 
 There was room for excited imagination to 
 depict scenes which cut the heart. But 
 help was divinely given. God be praised ! 
 It had been the prayer of the winter, 
 throuo-h wearisome weeks of sickness and 
 anxiety, " to be strengthened with all 
 might, according to His glorious power, 
 unto all patience and long-suffering, v/ith 
 joyfulness." While prayer for the preser- 
 vation of the child could not be heard, since 
 God, in his wisdom, had better purposes, 
 prayer for inward strength was signally an- 
 swered ; for, " when sufferings abounded, 
 consolations did much more abound." In- 
 deed, the religion of Jesus furnishes but 
 little encouragement to prayer against afflic- 
 tions, but much for power to bear them. 
 When Paul besought the Lord thrice that 
 the thorn in his flesh mio;ht be removed, the 
 
104 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 answer was : " My grace shall be sufficient 
 for thee." And when one greater than Paul 
 prayed, with an earnestness reaching to ago- 
 ny, that*the cup might pass away from him, 
 that bitter cup would not pass away, but 
 an angel was sent to strengthen him. 
 Christ himself said to his followers : " In 
 the world ye shall have tribulation, but be 
 of good cheer ; I have overcome the world." 
 If men were wise they would pray less for 
 preservation from trouble, and more for 
 cheerful submission and power to endure 
 it. A German poet has said : " The way 
 to Heaven lies over Golgotha." We must 
 take the way if we would reach the city. 
 By higher authority we learn of the white- 
 robed ones above, — that " these are they 
 who came out of great tribulation." 
 
 We have now reached a point where the 
 pen of filial and fraternal love will help us in 
 our descriptions no more. The spirit which 
 directed its movements has passed away. 
 There is an inward history of last hours 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 105 
 
 which can never be wi'itten. The antici- . 
 pation of the battle, — the struggle against 
 sickness, — the degree of the presentiment 
 of what was coming, — the preparation for 
 any event, — the excitement of the conflict, 
 — the sudden bullet-shock, — the fall, — 
 rushing memories, — thoughts of dear ones 
 at home, of heaven, of sainted spirits already 
 there, of Jesus as the Saviour, — thoughts 
 of God the Father, and the breathing out 
 of the soul into His bosom, — all this, with 
 the first openings of eternity, may be imag- 
 ined; but nothing of it can be known. 
 
 The remains reached home, under the 
 care of Lieut. Sanderson, on the afternoon 
 of March 19th ; and the funeral solemnities 
 were attended, on the following Saturday, 
 at the village church. 
 
 "From every town in this vicinity," says 
 our weekly journal, " people came to wit- 
 ness the last rites of sepulture to the brave 
 young officer. Long before the hour ap- 
 pointed, the church was filled to overflowing 
 
106 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 excepting tlie reserved seats. . . . Rev. Pro- 
 fessor Tyler pronounced the discourse, and 
 Rev. Professor Seelye offered the funeral 
 prayer. . . . The body was inclosed in a 
 black casket, which was draped with the 
 American flacr, and his sword rested acrainst 
 it. Beautiful evergreens and flowers nearly 
 covered the coffin, — the tribute of class- 
 mates and distant friends. The exercises 
 were listened to with breathless silence by 
 the large congregation ; and each one seemed 
 to feel that they had an interest in the sad 
 bereavement." 
 
 The tidings of his death, as they flew over 
 the country, not only called forth much sym- 
 pathy and mourning, but many testimonials 
 of his bravery and moral worth. A few of 
 these will be <riven. 
 
 " The battle had raged," says the corre- 
 spondent of the New York Tribune, "for 
 something less than an hour, when the 21st 
 lost one of its noblest officers, in the person 
 of Adjutant Frazar A. Stearns, the young 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 107 
 
 man who bore himself so bravely in the 
 difficult and dangerous charge on the right 
 of the enemy's battery on Roanoke Island. 
 Poor Stearns received a bullet in his right 
 breast, and fell dead in his place. He was 
 the son of the President of Amherst Col- 
 lege, and possessed the love of his com- 
 manding officer and the whole regiment. 
 Lieut. Col. Clark, who is in command of 
 the 21st, was affected to tears when relating 
 the circumstances of his untimely death, for 
 he felt almost the love of a father for the 
 young man." 
 
 "It was during this charge," says the 
 Amherst Express, "that Adjutant Stearns 
 fell. He was near Col. Clark, and received 
 a bullet in his right breast. Edward Welch, 
 a corporal, immediately went to his assist- 
 ance, and raised his head. He called for 
 water twice, which Welch administered to 
 him from his canteen, and with the words 
 " My God ! " upon his lips, breathed forth 
 his spirit. Thus died one of the most gal- 
 
108 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 lant and heroic officers of the 21st, — one 
 who had distinguished himself by his bravery 
 on ail occasions, — who was universally be- 
 loved and esteemed by officers and men, — 
 a noble Christian hero and soldier. Col. 
 Clark was affiicted to tears, and was almost 
 unable to proceed in his charge for the 
 moment; but the soldier triumphed over 
 the heart, and we doubt not that his feel- 
 ings in his successful charge were animated 
 somewhat by his bitter sense of loss. Youno- 
 Stearns was a professing and practical Chris- 
 tian, and entered on his calling from a sense 
 of duty, beHeving that in this sphere he 
 could do more for his country and his fellow- 
 men than in any other. He was beloved in 
 college and in the regiment. He was dig- 
 nified, kind, and gentlemanly. With no 
 inflated ideas of his own importance, he 
 nevertheless occupied an important position, 
 and so executed his trust as to receive the 
 repeated praise of his superior officers. Our 
 town has lost one whom they were proud to 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 109 
 
 honor. His family have lost a faithful and 
 dutiful son, a loving brother ; the church a 
 consistent member, and the army a noble 
 oflScer." 
 
 " The most serious loss to our reo-iment," 
 says the correspondent of the Boston Tran- 
 script, "was that of our Adjutant, F. A. 
 Stearns, of Amherst, of whom I can truly 
 say, a braver soul, or a more noble-hearted, 
 high-minded man, never fell in battle. Just 
 budding into manhood, with the flusk of 
 youth still on his cheek, he offered his life 
 in behalf of his afflicted country, and to-day 
 the 21st Regiment of Massachusetts mourns 
 the sudden death of one whom they loved, 
 not only as an officer, but as a brother." 
 
 " The son of President Stearns, of Am- 
 herst," says Rev. Horace James, Chaplain 
 of the 25th, in the Boston Congregationalist, 
 "a brave, accomplished, and enthusiastic 
 officer, fell early in the fight. His sun goes 
 down in splendor ; but his regiment and all 
 his friends will feel most sadly fis loss." 
 
110 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 
 
 The following is from the New York 
 Binghamton Democrat : — " Adjutant F. 
 A. Stearns, killed at the battle near New- 
 bern, North Carolina, was one of the noblest 
 offerings on our country's altar which this 
 war has called forth. In presenting himself 
 for service, he seemed actuated by the tru- 
 est patriotism, — the settled conviction that 
 this crisis demanded sacrifices, and that he 
 was ready to be offei'ed. 
 
 " Lieut. Stearns was prominent in the 
 attack on Roanoke Island, and thouoh twice 
 wounded, refused to leave his post during 
 the whole day, participating in the brilliant 
 charge which decided the conflict. For his 
 gallantry he received the highest compli- 
 ments of his superior officers. At the battle 
 of Newbern we find him with his reo-iment, 
 leadino; the advance of the flankincr column 
 on the enemy's batteries. 
 
 " Thus ever brave men die, — always in 
 the advance, courting danger, forgetful of 
 self, thinkir^ only of success. How full of 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. Ill 
 
 results was this young hero's life ! — how 
 much more was it filled up with usefulness 
 and duty than the lives of most who reach 
 man's maximum ! There was no affectation 
 in his fervid patriotism, no absorbing ambi- 
 tion for military renown in his desire to 
 meet the foe ; but a quiet determination 
 and an iron firmness wonderful in his years. 
 He went to the war because he felt it his 
 duty, — because he could not stay away, — 
 and brought to the service talents of the 
 highest order, and a character mellowed and 
 controlled by religious culture. He was a 
 Christian officer, loving the approval of 
 conscience more than the plaudits of men. 
 He has gone in the freshness of early man- 
 hood ; but his memory will be precious. 
 Beside the names of Mlsworth, Wi7ithroj), 
 and Hidden^ his own shall stand recorded. 
 His death is a national loss, but his example 
 a national blessing. His spirit shows the 
 worth of liberty, and his silent corpse its 
 price." 
 
112 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 The Newark Daily Advertiser says of 
 him : — " Lieut. F. A. Stearns was a young 
 man of rare excellence and promise, char- 
 acterized by great firmness and energy, a 
 dauntless courage which never calculated 
 danc^er when a duty was to be performed, 
 a high sense of right and unflinching ad- 
 herence to its obligations, intellectual en- 
 dowments of a superior order, and social 
 qualities which won the affection and ad- 
 miration of all his associates. He was, 
 withal, a truly devoted and exemplary 
 Christian." 
 
 The following extract from the sermon 
 of Rev. Mr. Murray, of Cambridge, the 
 Sabbath after the funeral, is taken from the 
 Cambridge Chronicle : — " Adjutant Stearns 
 has had a brief career as a soldier; but 
 thinking of this, we are only moved to 
 say, — ' So short, and yet so glorious ! So 
 soon ended, but so well ended ! ' He had 
 left academic shades for the tent and the 
 bivouac, the teachings of calm philosophy 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 113 
 
 for the stern lessons of war. Those of his 
 early mates and school-fellows here, who 
 knew him best, testify that there were in 
 liis make, and were there conspicuously, 
 that higli, generous bearing, that spirited 
 and manly tone, which in the soldier are 
 fundamental traits, as they are crowning 
 ornaments ; not only the pedestal on which 
 the military character must stand in col- 
 umnar erectness, but the Corinthian capital 
 which shall adorn the column. At Roanoke 
 his soldierly bearing, his personal valor, his 
 service in the field, were so marked as to 
 draw attention and commendation from his 
 superiors. Struck down by missiles from 
 the foe, he sprang to his feet with only a 
 more resolute soul and a more gallant bear- 
 ing, to lead forward his men into the deadly 
 breach. He bore honorable wounds into 
 the battle of Newbern, where he fell almost 
 within the intrenchments of the enemy. 
 No lingering hours of torture were ap- 
 pointed him. Death did its work speedily, 
 
114 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 and spared his friends the agony of knowing 
 or fearing that he had undergone long, long 
 hours of intolerable, hopeless suffering, un- 
 cheered by any voice from home, untended 
 by any sister's hand, unwatched by any 
 father's eye. And it were better so, if fall 
 he must, that he should fall when honor 
 crowned that brow most thickly, and when 
 death had fewest pangs. 
 
 " I recall to-day, with strange and mourn- 
 ful interest, the charge his father gave me, 
 when, nearly a year since, I assumed the 
 pastorate of this church and society. As 
 if urged by some presentiment that himself 
 should stand in sore and bitter need of the 
 consolations of the Gospel, he charged me 
 to bear on my heart, as its peculiar care, 
 those households who had parted with sons 
 or brothers for the service of their country 
 on the field or on the quarter-deck." 
 
 Commemorative resolutions were passed 
 by several societies and public bodies with 
 whicli he was connected ; but our limits 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 115 
 
 will allow only of a single extract from a 
 memorial adopted by the class in college of 
 which he died a member : — '' The class- 
 mate whose loss we mourn was one whose 
 career in life it afforded us peculiar pride 
 and interest to trace. As a student, he 
 was an eminent scholar, and was distin- 
 guished by a strong, practical mind, which 
 won for him an extraordinary degree of 
 respect and influence in the college com- 
 munity. He was characterized by a liber- 
 ality of heart, an integrity of purpose, and 
 above all, by a pious zeal, which attracted, 
 strengthened, and secured the affection of 
 the worthy and the esteem of all. On 
 leaving the scene of his college distinction, 
 he entered the service of his country with 
 the most honorable motives and the most 
 noble heroism, carrying with him the best 
 wishes and the highest liopes of those who 
 are now called to lament the death of him 
 who was to his college so bright an orna- 
 ment, to his country so devoted a soldier. 
 
116 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 Upon those who were united to liim by the 
 strongest bonds of relationship, the severest 
 blow has fallen. Though we would not 
 invade the sanctuary of domestic grief, nor 
 for a moment check the flow of tears, 
 made sweet by the valor and virtues of 
 the departed, yet we feel that their loss 
 is our own, for the angel of death has 
 taken from us our most beloved and ad- 
 mired member." 
 
 Monday morning, March 24th, 1862, in 
 the Senate of Massachusetts, Mr. Dodge, 
 of Middlesex, offered the following resolu- 
 tions : — 
 
 " Resolved, That the thanks of the people 
 of Massachusetts are due, and through the 
 Senate and House of Representatives in 
 General Court assembled are gratefully ten- 
 dered, to the officers and soldiers of the 
 21st, 23d, 24th, 25th and 27th Regiments 
 of Massachusetts Volunteers, for their he- 
 roic deeds at the battle and victory of 
 Newbern. In the hands of these men 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 117 
 
 the honor of Massachusetts will always be 
 safe. 
 
 ''Resolved, That we deplore the irrepar- 
 able loss of Lieut. Col. Henry Merritt and 
 Adjutant Stearns, and the gallant men, 
 their companions in arms, who on the field 
 of that victory laid down their lives to 
 save the life of the nation. The people 
 of Massachusetts will imitate their virtues. 
 In all our hearts their memories will ever 
 be cherished." 
 
 In support of the resolves, Mr. Dodge 
 addressed the Senate as follows: 
 
 " Mr. President, — I can speak from 
 personal acquaintance of only one of the 
 noble men commemorated by the resolutions 
 I have offered. Adjutant F. A. Stearns- was 
 for many years a resident of Cambridge. 
 At the time of his death he was twenty-one 
 years of age, and a member of the Junior 
 Class of Amherst College. He was the son 
 of the President of that institution. When 
 news came of the fall of Fort Sumter, he 
 
118 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 desired to enter the service of the country, 
 "with the volunteers then called for ; but as 
 more were offering than could be received, 
 the sacrifice seemed to his friends not then 
 necessary; and he yielded his wishes to 
 theirs, and remained at his studies until the 
 disastrous defeat at Bull Run. His resolu- 
 tion was then taken. He became, with the 
 consent of the friends who had before ob- 
 jected, a member of the 21st Regiment. 
 The spirit in which he took the sword is 
 shown by a remark made by him at the 
 time. A friend *said to him : ' You may 
 fall in battle, as others have done.' He 
 replied : ' If I knew I should fall it would 
 not change my determination ; what is my 
 life compared with the life of the nation ? ' 
 He was with Gen. Burnside at the taking 
 of Roanoke Island, and was present and 
 assisted in the bayonet charge upon the fort 
 which resulted in its capture. He was 
 slightly wounded in that battle, and his 
 name was mentioned with honorable dis- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 119 
 
 tinction in the report of his superior officer, 
 as Senators will remember. At Newbern 
 he fell, while again aiding in a bayonet 
 charo;e. 
 
 " He was a man of singular nobility of 
 character; noble in daily life, in purpose, and 
 in aspiration. He has fallen in the morning 
 of life, with all life's highest hopes opening 
 before him. Lovino; hearts were waiting' for 
 him at his home ; but the doors of that home 
 were to open for him again only to receive 
 his lifeless remains. Now, as we are speak- 
 ing, the last offices of affi2ction are being per-' 
 formed. Kindred and friends, with hearts 
 wellnigh broken, are following him to the 
 grave. May God console them in their great 
 sorrow, for no earthly consolation is ade- 
 quate ! Mr. President, this war is fearfully 
 costly, — costly in treasure ; but how vastly 
 more so in the lives of our young men, free- 
 ly offered up to sustain it. But it will be 
 sustained. The people of these States are 
 descended from heroic ancestors ; they have 
 
120 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 heroic blood in their veins, and are capable 
 of heroic deeds. We have heard, all our 
 lives, of the spirit of '76 ; but it is surpassed 
 by the spirit of '62. ■ The war will be sus- 
 tained at whatever cost. If more lives are 
 demanded, we may be assured from the past 
 they are ready to be offered. Tlie govern- 
 ment our fathers left us will be upheld at 
 whatever loss of treasure or life is necessary 
 for the purpose." 
 
 The following is from the official return 
 of Lieut. Col. Clark, who commanded the 
 21st in the deadly fight at Newbem, and 
 gives a clear and graphic account of the 
 battle : — 
 
 "Headquarters, 21st Regiment, Mass. Vols.,"! 
 Camp Reno, near Newbern, N. C, J- 
 March 16, 1862. J 
 
 " Capt. Edward M. Neil, Ass't Adjt.-General, 2d 
 Brigade. Capta^tx : — 
 
 " About nine o'clock on the mornino; of 
 the 13th inst., the 21st Massachusetts Volun- 
 teers, seven hundred and forty-three strong, 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 121 
 
 landed at the mouth of Slocum's Creek, and 
 bj order of Gen. Reno, advanced about two 
 miles through the pine woods along the south 
 bank of the river Neuse, toward Newbern. 
 Coming out upon a large open field, the regi- 
 ment stacked arms to await the arrival of the 
 General with the rest of the brigade. Com- 
 pany G, under Lieut. Taylor, formed the 
 advanced guard, and discovered, a short 
 distance into the woods beyond the cleared 
 space, a large number of wooden barracks, 
 which had been evacuated about two hours 
 before by rebel cavalry, whose equanimity 
 had been disturbed by shells from the o-un- 
 boats. An advance of some four miles 
 brought the regiment to Croatan, where 
 we found a very extensive earthwork run- 
 ning at right angles to the highway, one 
 thousand rebel infantry having just deserted 
 it. The colors of the 21st were placed 
 without opposition upon the parapet and 
 lieartily cheered by officers and men. Near 
 this work a halt of an hour was made for 
 
122 . ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 dinner, during which the pioneers tore up 
 the track of the raih'oad connecting New- 
 bern with Beaufort. From this point the 
 regiment was ordered to move forward upon 
 the raih'oad track, and Company D, under 
 Lieut. Barker, was sont forward as advanced 
 guard. About a mile of advance brought 
 the regiment to a place where the highway 
 crosses the railroad, and a half a mile to the 
 right of the latter, on the river Neuse, a de- 
 serted earthwork was discovered by Lieut. 
 Reno, aid-de-camp to the General. Compa- 
 ny H, under Capt. Frazer, with the colors, 
 was detached from the regiment, and under 
 charge of Gen. Reno, visited the work, and 
 waving the Star Spangled Banner bearing 
 the honorable inscription, " Roanoke, Feb- 
 ruary 8, 1862," and the spotless white col- 
 ors of Massachusetts, with the noble motto, 
 " Ense 2)etit placidam sub Ubertate quietem,^^ 
 gave three hearty cheers and hastily rejoined 
 the advancing regiment. Proceeding along 
 the railroad about a mile further, the ad- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. • 123 
 
 vancecl guard came upon a building contain- 
 ing several tents, a complete set of artillery 
 harness, and a few boxes of ammunition for 
 six and twelve pounder guns. Lieut. Bar- 
 ker, with Adjutant Steams, then made a re- 
 connoisance to the right of the railroad and 
 found an extensive encampment also recent- 
 ly evacuated by rebel cavalry. Here were 
 large quantities of clothing, commissary and 
 hospital stores, over which a guard was 
 placed. One mile further on the regiment 
 biouvacked for the night, throwing out a 
 picket guard of two companies on the front 
 and left, the right being guarded by the 24th 
 Massachusetts Volunteers, and the rear by 
 tho 61st New York Volunteers. The rain 
 which commenced to fall about ten o'clock 
 of the 13th inst., continued in showers 
 through the night, and on the morning of 
 the 14th inst., mist and fog enveloped every- 
 thing. Notwithstanding every precaution on 
 the part of both officers and men, very many 
 of the rifles were rendered quite unserviceable 
 
124 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 by the moisture. In some tlie powder became 
 too wet to ignite, and in very many of the 
 Enfield rifled muskets the rammers were 
 almost immovable from the swelling of the 
 stocks. It is a great defect in this weapon 
 that the friction of the wood along the 
 whole length of the rammer is relied upon 
 to keep it in place ; since it is quite impossi- 
 ble that the rammer be well secured when 
 the musket is dry, and sufficiently loose for 
 service when wet. 
 
 " It is a noteworthy evidence of discipline 
 and courage on the part of the men, that 
 more than fifty of them went into the bat- 
 tle having only their bayonets to work with ; 
 and it was very hard to hear them in the 
 thickest of the fight, while standing helpless 
 in their places, beg their officers to give 
 them serviceable muskets, and to see them 
 eagerly seize the weapons of their comrades 
 as fast as they fell beneath the leaden storm 
 from the enemy's earthworks. Private Shee- 
 han of Company E, left his company to se- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 125 
 
 cure the musket of a man whom he saw 
 killed in Company K, and when asked by 
 Major Rice, why he did not take the gun of 
 one who had been shot in his own company, 
 replied, that it was like his own, good for 
 nothing. About seven o'clock, a.m., Gen. 
 Reno ordered his brigade forward, the 21st 
 Massachusetts in the van. The advanced 
 guard, consisting of Company G, was led 
 by Corporal Stratton, who deserves much 
 credit for his coolness and intrepidity in 
 pushing on through swamps and thickets 
 and along the track of the railroad, both 
 on the 13th and 14th inst., every moment 
 exposed to be fired upon by a concealed foe. 
 Adjutant Stearns directed the movements of 
 the first two squads of the advanced guard 
 in the most admirable manner durino; the 
 entire march from the place of landing to 
 the field of battle. As it was known that 
 the defences of the enemy were thrown 
 across the highway to the right of the rail- 
 road, the regiment proceeded cautiously 
 
126 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 through the woods on the left of the rail- 
 road and parallel with it. After advancing 
 about half a mile, a locomotive was seen 
 coming down the road, and Gen. Reno at 
 once ordered us to file to the left and ad- 
 vance into the forest, which was no longer a 
 level, open, pine wood, but the ground was 
 broken into hills, separated by deep ravines, 
 and the timber was of oak, white-wood, and 
 and other decidious trees, and of the largest 
 description. The 1st Brigade, under Gen. 
 Foster, having advanced on the highway, 
 came first upon the enemy ; and the battle 
 was now raging fiercely upon our right and 
 alonff the whole line of the earthworks from 
 the river to the railroad. The smoke from 
 the rapid firing of more than thirty cannon 
 and several thousand muskets was driven 
 down upon us by the wind, and mingling 
 with the dense fog, so completely shut out 
 the light of day (never more anxiously 
 longed for,) that it was impossible to de- 
 rive any information respecting the position 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 127 
 
 of the rebels, except where it was indicated 
 by the noise of battle. Our skirmishers now 
 reported that we were opposite the right 
 flank of a battery resting at this point on 
 a deep cut in the railroad, and upon several 
 buildings and brick walls in Wood's brick- 
 yard, which was across the road from our 
 position a few hundred yards distant. The 
 reo-iment was at once ordered to form in hue 
 
 to 
 
 of battle facing the railroad, and Company 
 C, under Capt. J. M. Richardson, was sent 
 forward to reconnoitre. As rapidly as the 
 difficult nature of the ground would allow, 
 ^ the other companies formed on the right by 
 file into line, and as soon as the remaining 
 companies of the right wing were ready, I 
 moved forward Avith the colors to the sup- 
 port of Company C, who were already en- 
 o-aoino- the rebel riflemen in the trench upon 
 tlie opposite side of the deep cut in the rail- 
 road. At the moment of their arrival at 
 the cut, the enemy were busily engaged in 
 mounting two thirty-two pounder pivot guns 
 
128 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 to command the railroad, and in removing 
 amnuniition from the cars wliich had just 
 come in from Newbern. with reinforcements. 
 At the first volley from Company C, the 
 enemy in great astonishment fled from the 
 road and the trench to a ravine in the rear 
 of the brickyard. Gen. Reno now ordered 
 the color-bearer, Sergt. Bates, to ])lant his 
 flag upon the roof of a building within the 
 enemy's entrenchments. He immediately 
 rushed forward several rods in advance of 
 his company, and amid a perfect shower 
 of Minnie balls clambered to the roof and 
 waved the Star Spangled Banner presented 
 to the regiment by the ladies of Worcester. 
 At this moment, the noblest of us all, mv 
 brave, efficient, faithful adjutant, 1st Lieut. 
 F. A. Stearns, of Company I, fell mortally 
 wounded, the first among the twenty-five 
 patriotic volunteers of the 21st who laid 
 down their lives for their country at the 
 battle of Newbern. As he was cheerino; on 
 the men to charge upon the enemy across 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 129 
 
 the railroad, he was struck by a ball from 
 an Eno-lish rifle fired from a redan at the 
 rio"ht and rear of the central breastwork on 
 which we were advancing. The fatal mis- 
 sile entered his left side, and passing through 
 his lungs went out just below the collar- 
 bone on the right breast. Corporal Welch, 
 of Company C, noticing his fall, returned 
 and remained with him durino; the battle. 
 He lived about two and a half hours, though 
 nearly unconscious from the loss of blood, 
 and died without a struggle a little before 
 noon. 
 
 " Gen. Reno, with companies C, A, B, 
 and H, of the right wing, dashed across the 
 railroad up the ste<?p bank and over the rifle 
 trench on the top into the brickyard. Here 
 we were subject to a most destructive cross 
 fire from the enemy on both sides of the 
 railroad, and lost a large number of men 
 in a very few minutes. The General sup- 
 posing we had completely flanked the ene- 
 my's works, returned across the road to 
 9 
 
130 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 bring up the rest of his brigade, but just at 
 this time a tremendous fire of musketry and 
 artillery was opened from the redans hitherto 
 unseen and which were thirteen in number, 
 extendino; from the railroad more than a 
 mile to the right into the forest. The 
 General being now obliged to devote his 
 attention to the enemy in front of his bri- 
 gade, ordered the left wing of the 21st, un- 
 der the command of Major Rice, not to cross 
 the railroad, but to continue firing upon the 
 rebel infantry in the first two redans, with 
 whom they were already engaged. These 
 consisted of the 33d and 16th North Caro- 
 lina regiments, and were the best armed and 
 fought the most gallantly of any of the ene- 
 my's forces. Their position was almost im- 
 pregnable so long as their left flank, resting 
 on the railroad, was defended, and they kept 
 up an incessant fire for three hours, until 
 their ammunition was exhausted and the re- 
 mainder of the rebel forces had retreated 
 from that portion of their works lying be- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. iSl 
 
 fcween the river and the railroad. Having 
 been ordered into the brickyard and left 
 there with my colors and the four compa- 
 nies above named, and finding it impossible 
 to remain there without being cut to pieces, 
 I was compelled either to charge upon Capt. 
 Brem's battery of flying artillery, or to re- 
 treat without having accomplished anything 
 to compensate for the terrible loss sustained 
 in reaching this point. Accordingly, I formed 
 my handful of men, about two hundred in 
 number, in line, the right resting on the 
 breastworks of the enemy, and commenced 
 firing upon the men and horses of the first 
 piece. Three men and two horses having 
 fallen and the other gunners showing signs 
 of uneasiness, I gave the command ' charge 
 bayonets,' and went into the first gun. 
 Reaching it, I had the pleasure of mount- 
 ing upon the first of the Newbern guns sur- 
 rendered to the Yankees. It was a six- 
 pounder brass field-piece, manufactured at 
 Chicopee, Mass., brought from Fort Ma- 
 
132 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 con and marked U. S. Leaving this in the 
 hands of Capt. Walcott and private John 
 Dunn, of Company B, wlio cot away the 
 horses and attempted to load and turn it 
 upon the enemy, I proceeded to the sec- 
 ond gun, about three hundred paces from 
 the brickyard. By tliis time the three regi- 
 ments of rebel infantry who had retreated 
 fi'om the breastworks to a ravine in the rear 
 when we entered the brickyard, seeing that 
 we were so few and received no support, 
 rallied and advanced upon us. The 35th 
 and 37th North Carolina regiments, sup- 
 ported by the 7th North Carolina, came up 
 from the ravine in splendid style, with their 
 muskets on their right shoulder, and halted. 
 Most fortunately, or rather providentially for 
 us, they remained undecided for a minute or 
 two, and then I'esolved on a movement which 
 saved us from destruction. Instead of giv- 
 ing us a volley at once, they first hesitated 
 and then charged upon us without firing. I 
 instantly commanded my men to spring over 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 133 
 
 the parapet and ditch in front, which Avas 
 ten feet wide and five feet deep and half full 
 of water, and retreat to the raih'oad, keep- 
 ing as close as possible to the ditch. As the 
 enemy could not fire upon us to any advan- 
 tage until they reached the parapet, nearly 
 all of those who obeyed my orders escaped 
 unharmed, though thousands of bullets whis- 
 tled over us. On the raih'oad I found Col. 
 Hodman, with the 4th Rhode Island, waiting 
 for orders, and informed him of the situation 
 of things in the entrenchments of the enemy 
 and urged him to advance at once and 
 charge upon their flank, as I had done. 
 Soon after, Col. Harland, with tlie 8th Con- 
 necticut, came up ; and then the two regi- 
 ments advanced along the railroad to the 
 brickyard and charged by wing. As soon 
 as the enemy saw them within their lines, 
 they instantly retired again to the ravine 
 without firincr a £!;un. It is some satisfac- 
 lion to those wdio were obliojed to retreat 
 from the battery after once driving the ene- 
 
134 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 my from it, that no one of the five brass 
 pieces stationed in this part of their works 
 were ever fired by them after our charge." 
 Col. Clark also writes, — 
 
 "Headquarters, 21st Mass. Volunteers, ^ 
 Camp Andrew, near Newbern, N. C., V 
 March 23d, 18G2. J 
 " President W. A. Stearns, D. D. : — 
 
 " Rev. AND Dear Sir, — Ten days have 
 passed since the death of our beloved Frazar, 
 and I have had neither time nor heart to 
 write you. Yet I have done respecting him 
 and his friends just what I would have had 
 done for me and mine, if I had been in his 
 stead. His noble and manly body was pre- 
 pared and packed in the best manner our 
 circumstances would allow, and sent by the 
 first steamer to Amherst, under the charge 
 of his friend and brother officer, Lieut. 
 Sanderson. 
 
 " By the last steamer, I sent to the Col- 
 lege, in charge of Capt. Frazer, a beauti- 
 ful brass cannon, — the identical one upon 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 135 
 
 which I mounted when we drove the rebels 
 from their battery with two hmidred men, 
 putting three thousand to flight. 
 
 " The following order respecting it was 
 issued by Gen. Burnside; — 
 
 'Headquarters, Department of North Carolina, 
 'Newbern, March 16th, 1862. 
 * Special Order, No. 52. 
 
 ' The commanding General directs that 
 the six-pounder brass gun taken in the 
 battery where Adjutant Stearns, of 
 the 21st Massachusetts Volunteers, met his 
 death, while gallantly fighting at the battle 
 of Newbern, shall be presented to his regi- 
 ment, as a monument to the memory of 
 a brave man. 
 
 ' By command of 
 
 'Brig.-Gen. a. E. Burnside. 
 
 ' Lewis Richmond, 
 * Assistant Adjutant-General. 
 * LiEUT.-CoL. Clark, commanding.* 
 
 " Frazar conducted himself with admi- 
 rable prudence and bravery on the fatal 
 
136 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 day, as lie had on tlie preceding day and 
 at Roanoke, tliongh at the latter place he 
 was unnecessarily exposed. He never re- 
 covered entirely from the excessive fatigue 
 and excitement through which he passed at 
 Roanoke, and at the time of our landing 
 here was scarcely fit to leave the ship. I 
 advised him to remain behind, but he would 
 not think of it." After speaking of his 
 being unwell the night before the battle, 
 Col. Clark proceeds : " The next morning 
 he seemed quite refreshed, and started out 
 resolutely to meet the rebels, who were 
 already opening the fight. As he was about 
 to go forward with the advance-guard, I 
 rode up to him and gave him positive orders 
 not to expose himself unnecessarilj^, and not 
 to get in front of the second line of skir- 
 mishers, so that he might not come within 
 gunshot of the enemy until the battle was 
 fairly begun. He was shot while passing 
 in front of a breastwork, behind which 
 were concealed three hundred riflemen. 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 137 
 
 upon the very spot over whicli Gen. Reno 
 and myself, with two hundred men, went 
 into the central portion of the fortifications. 
 There was at this place a perfect storm of 
 bullets, as it was the key to the enemy's 
 entire works, and they did not like to lose 
 it. 
 
 " Ever since the battle of Roanoke Frazar 
 has been, up to the time of his death, unusu- 
 ally serious, and spoke as if he expected to 
 be killed in the next fight. He even went 
 so far as to prepare a statement of the duties 
 of his office, and gave it to me, sa^^ng : 
 'When I am 'dead, this will save you and 
 the next adjutant much trouble.' All his 
 papers were also arranged with special care, 
 and his things packed as for a journey. Of 
 course we all hoped better things ; and as he 
 had been wounded, and so narrowly escaped 
 with his life, on the 8th of February, we 
 thought it would be the turn of some other 
 officer, before him, to suffer. Alas ! ' Death 
 loves a shining mark ! ' and took from us the 
 
138 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 one most universally and most highly es- 
 teemed. 
 
 " He set us an almost perfect example in 
 all his conduct. His faithfulness, efficiency, 
 and bravery, were only surpassed by. the 
 spotless purity and complete correctness of 
 his private lifei He never uttered an oath, 
 nor a word of a low or indelicate character ; 
 he abstained habitually from tobacco in every 
 form, and from ardent spirits, wine, and beer. 
 In short, he always behaved like a real gen- 
 tleman and a sincere Christian. To me the 
 loss is quite irreparable. However, I sur- 
 rendered myself, my family, my friends, my 
 all, to the disposition of the Great Ruler, 
 who directs us in all our ways, when I left 
 my peaceful and happy home to fight the 
 battles of freedom, and I will trust Him to 
 the end. 
 
 " And who shall estimate your loss ? But 
 your consolations are neither few nor small. 
 Your son lived and died a Christian, in the 
 full assurance of hope and faith. He fell 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 139 
 
 while fighting gallantly in the act of charg- 
 ing upon the enemy, in a most severely con- 
 tested battle, and on a field where the Union 
 forces won a most glorious victory. . . . 
 " With the greatest regard, 
 
 4 4 Very respectfully yours, 
 
 " W. S. Clark." 
 
 In a subsequent letter. Col. Clark says : ^ — 
 " Gen. Reno esteemed our beloved Frazar 
 as highly as we all did, and more than once 
 the tears have rolled down his cheeks as we 
 have spoken together concerning his spotless 
 character and noble conduct, and remem- 
 bered that we should not look upon his like 
 again. I send you an official copy of that 
 portion of his report relating to Frazar. 
 You will recollect that the General is a 
 man of few words, and that individuals are 
 rarely named in such reports." 
 
 These are the words: — "It is with the 
 deepest regret that I have to announce the 
 death of 1st Lieut. Stearns, Acting Adju- 
 tant of the 21st Massachusetts, — one of 
 
140 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 the most accomplished and gallant officers 
 in the army." 
 
 The extract which follows is from, a letter 
 of an Irish private of the 21st, to a country- 
 man of his in Amherst, and is the sponta- 
 neous outgushing of a large, Irish heart, 
 who could have had no expectation that 
 such words of his would come under the eye 
 of the relatives of his admired officer : — 
 
 " Among the dead is our 1st Lieutenant, 
 F. A. Stearns, the noblest soldier that the 
 world ever afforded ; I fear too brave for 
 his own good. He was beloved by all that 
 knew him in his own regiment, and in fact 
 as far as he was known in the arm}'. I am 
 sorry to say that I have lost the best friend 
 that I had in the army. I carried him off 
 
 the battle-field. I tell you, Mr. , that 
 
 that was a hard thing for me. I carried 
 him to the beach, to go on board of the boat 
 to go home. I carried him over a river, 
 where I was up to my arms in water. The 
 rest of the boys were strangers; and I tell 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 141 
 
 you that I was not, for when he was Hvmg 
 he was a dear friend to me. Lieut. Sander- 
 son is gone home with him. Gen. Burnside 
 presented the 21st Regiment with a cannon, 
 for great valor on the battle-field. We send 
 it home, to be erected as a monument over 
 Lieut. Stearns, the star of the regiment." 
 
 Another private of the 21st, a stranger, 
 — God bless him for his tender thouMitful- 
 ness — says : 
 
 " In helping to arrange the body of your 
 brave and noble son who fell at Newbern 
 on the 14th inst., in order that it might be 
 sent home, it occurred to me that a lock 
 of his hair would be prized highly by his 
 mother^ if by no one else. I, therefore, have 
 cut a lock, and in this you will no doubt find 
 it. Words cannot express the great esti- 
 mation in which your son was held by the 
 officers and men of the entire remment. 
 We all sympathize with you in your great 
 affliction." 
 
 The following is a simple but touching 
 
142 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 memorial from the pen of a colored boy, 
 who had formerly lived with the deceased 
 as a servant in his father's family, but was 
 at this time servant of the Assistant Surireon 
 of the 21st Reo-iment : 
 
 o 
 
 " The death of my brave young master 
 has prevented me from gi^'ing you the par- 
 ticulars until the present time. I say that 
 he was brave, because I know it. 
 
 " After I came out here, a strono; friend- 
 ship grew between us, and I came to the 
 determination to do everything in my power 
 to promote his happiness ; but this resolve 
 never did him much good. 
 
 " On the morning of the battle of Ro- 
 anoke, I met him in the gangway of the 
 boat ; we shook hands. He says, ' Charlie, 
 we shall have a hard fight to-day.' I looked 
 up in his face ; all I saw Avas a pleasant 
 smile. I turned away, thinking he was a 
 brave man. In the battle of Roanoke, he 
 was wounded. I saw him the next day, and 
 asked him how he felt durinor the en- 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 143 
 
 gagement. He said, ' I liacl no time to 
 
 " The morning before the battle of New- 
 bern, we walked out on the guard of the 
 boat. I said, ' Mr. Frazar, suppose you 
 should be killed ? ' He took my hand and 
 said, ' Charlie^ I sJiall.^ I could not stand 
 this, and turned to go, but I felt the pressure 
 grow stronger, and stopped. My throat was 
 full of something hard. My eye fell when 
 I looked at him, and he let me go. I think 
 he had something to say, but he never said 
 it to me. . . . When the sad tidino-s came 
 to me that he was shot, I took lint, band- 
 ages, and wine, &c., and ran to the spot 
 where he was, but all was over. A corporal 
 of Company C attended him as long as he 
 lived. He was conveyed to a shed adjoining 
 the hospital. It is useless to tell the many 
 attempts I made to restore him to life, but 
 all proved fruitless. I closed his eyes, and 
 pressed that cold hand to my lips. I can 
 say no more; but I send you this to let 
 
144 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 
 
 you know that liis old servant closed his 
 eyes. 
 
 '' P. S. I send his Testament, that his 
 father gave him, hy this mail." 
 
 Capt. J. D. Fraser, who came to Amherst 
 with the hrass gun given by Gen. Burnside 
 to the regiment of Adjt. Stearns as " a monu- 
 ment to his memory," and who saw the body 
 soon after the battle, said, " I never saw such 
 a beautiful countenance on a person who was 
 dead before. As I looked upon him, I told 
 Col. Clark that I should have been willing 
 to have died in his stead." 
 
 Rev. George S. Ball, the Chaplain of the 
 21st, writes : 
 
 " He died, let me say, as he had lived, 
 without a stain on his honor. 
 
 " There was not a religious service which 
 he did not encourage. When I distributed 
 among the men religious books, he always 
 received them gladly, and often spoke of 
 them afterwards, showing that he not only 
 took them but read them. 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 145 
 
 " In speaking of his wonderful escape at 
 Roanoke, said he, ' If it had been God's will 
 that the ball had gone nearer my brain, I 
 should not have rebelled^ for I believe in 
 Providence.' 
 
 " His life was an example to all, officers 
 and men. He was not angry ever, though 
 sometimes exceedingly tried. He never ut- 
 tered a profane word. His language was 
 gentlemanly to all, and his bearing full of 
 the dignity of a soldier and the affability of a 
 comrade and brother. 
 
 " Our greatest loss in the battle at New- 
 bern is that of your son. He had the fresh- 
 ness and ardor of youth, with all the courage 
 of a veteran. The whole regiment mourn a 
 brave officer lost, a loved brother dead. But 
 his memory will be kept green in the hearts 
 of us all." 
 
 Among numerous letters of sympathy, 
 
 several have been received from strangers 
 
 who became acquainted with him while he 
 
 was engaged on picket duty in Maryland, 
 
 10 
 
146 • ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 all bearing witness to the excellence of his 
 character, " so moral and dignified in his de- 
 portment, so energetic and faithful in dis- 
 charging his duties ; " " the uprightness of 
 his life, and the goodness of his heart, and 
 his frank, gentlemanly bearing, won the best 
 wishes of all who knew him ; " " whose 
 memory will be ever held sacred and whose 
 loss mourned as a brother;" "who was a 
 gentleman, a Christian, and a soldier;" "for 
 whose safety," a little girl " of only four 
 years scarcely suffered a night to pass with- 
 out offering up her prayers ; " and whose 
 " death drew tears from many eyes." One 
 gentleman writes : " I cannot say that I was 
 not fearful of what has taken place. Your 
 son was brave, and, as I often heard him say, 
 was willing to die in defence of his country. 
 I felt satisfied he would be foremost in de- 
 fence of that flacr he loved so much." 
 
 " I am reminded," he continues, " of the 
 most feeling and appropriate speech made by 
 him on the nio-ht of his initiation in our 
 
ADJUTANT STEAPwNS. 147 
 
 division of the Sons of Temperance. He 
 alluded to his friends at home, to the relig- 
 ious training he had received at your hands, 
 and the great temptations to which he was 
 subjected in the army ; he said that he had 
 united with us as a protection from the pre- 
 vailing vice around him ; that, exposed to 
 danger, and liable at any moment to be 
 called to appear before his Maker, he had 
 committed his soul into his keeping and 
 had put his trust in God. He exhorted the 
 young men to avoid every wicked practice, 
 especially gambling and taking the Lord's 
 name in vain. He made a request that if 
 any of us should ever visit the place of his 
 home, whether he should live to be there or 
 not, we would call at his father's house and 
 tell him that we were his friends, and a cor- 
 dial welcome would be extended to us." 
 
 " My only object in addressing you," he 
 concludes, " is to express my admiration of 
 the character of your son, and our sincere 
 sorrow and sympathy." 
 
148 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 After what has been said, any extended 
 analysis of character will be unnecessary. 
 " That character," says Professor Tyler, 
 " shone in every feature of his tall, erect, 
 and manly form. It acted itself out without 
 disguise or concealment, in all the incidents 
 of his short but noble and heroic life. It 
 breathes in gentle yet lofty tones from his 
 confidential letters to his friends. It speaks 
 louder than words, more touching and elo- 
 quent than actions from his early death, a 
 willing sacrifice on the altar of his country." 
 
 There was, it may be added, a marked 
 variety in the leading characteristics of 
 his mind and heart. Mechanical tastes 
 and ingenuity, an enthusiastic fondness for 
 the natural sciences, a love of the math- 
 ematics, but chiefly for their useful ap- 
 plications, might seem to designate him as 
 an eminently practical man. The ardor, 
 too, with which he studied the arts and 
 science of war, the hiiih ideals which 
 he had of military drill and discipline, 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 149 
 
 and tlie zeal and patient labor wliicli he 
 brought to the work of securing sol- 
 dierly proficiency, in himself and others, 
 would indicate more of an outward than 
 an inward life. But in contrast with this 
 there was, in his nature, a deep well of 
 emotions and affections. This may be 
 partly illustrated in his love and practice 
 of music. He was susceptible to its power 
 as early as he could distinguish sounds. 
 When not more than four years old he 
 would i)ick out the notes of simple tunes, 
 on the piano, with delight. Before he was 
 six, an accomplished German teacher, who 
 had noticed his musical susceptibilities and 
 aptitudes, begged the privilege of giving 
 him gratuitous instruction, saying often, 
 perhaps, with the hyperbole of favoritism, 
 ' that child has more musical talent than I 
 have yet found in any person in America.' 
 Under such zealous instruction, continued 
 at intervals, for years, he added proficiency 
 to talent, and would touch the piano with 
 
150 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 an emphasis, patlios, and power which not 
 only moved the less cultured, but attracted 
 the admiration of amateurs. Thouoh he 
 had been subjected to the drill of exercises, 
 and had his favorite pieces, he generally 
 preferred, "whether in social circles or in 
 private, to improvise his music. When the 
 inspiration was upon him, he would express 
 in subdued or stirring chords, the mood of 
 the hour. One might learn from the sweet, 
 sad sounds of his piano, or its semitonic in- 
 tervals, or from its jubilant notes, or its slow 
 and solemn measures, the otherwise hidden 
 emotions of his heart. Poetry, too, and 
 passages of eloquent oratory, and works of 
 art, gave him superior pleasure. 
 
 His temperament was sanguine, his feel- 
 ings quick and strong, though he had un- 
 common mastery over them. He was im- 
 pulsive, not to say changeable, till he had 
 become settled in his convictions and fixed 
 in his determinations, after which, as in his 
 patriotism, and his religion during the last 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 151 
 
 year or two of his life, he was immovable. 
 He had a remarkable conscience, both in 
 foretokenino; wrono; and aveno-ino; it when 
 committed. This, in his strong nature, laid 
 the foundation for severe inward conflicts 
 till the grace of God had secured him final 
 victory. Sensitive to the slightest imputa- 
 tion of self-approval, rarely alluding to good 
 qualities in himself even among confidants, 
 he was severe upon his own faults, often 
 magnifying them and always condemning 
 them without mercy. Still he was proud, 
 self-respecting, and aspiring. Quick in his 
 resentments, strong in his prejudices, frank 
 anti outspoken, he was equally ready to ac- 
 knowledge a wrong when convinced of it, 
 and to formve a wrono; when it was con- 
 fessed. The la.st year of his life was char- 
 acterized by a large charity for all sins but 
 treachery and meanness. It was from a 
 hearty sympathy that he admired and often 
 called attention to that beautiful passage in 
 the story of Le Fevre, where Uncle Toby, 
 out of the tenderness of his heart, was sur- 
 
152 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 
 
 prised into tlie use of a liard word, — " Tlie 
 accusing spirit which flew up to Heaven's 
 chancery with the oatli bhished as he gave 
 it in, and the Recordintj An<iel as lie wrote 
 it down dro[)ped a tear on the word and 
 blotted it out forever." 
 
 The generosity of his heart was always 
 greater than his ability to meet its demands. 
 One of the last things which he said to his 
 father on leaving home, after a few days' 
 furlough in November, which had been 
 granted for attending the remains of a 
 brother officer to their last resting place, 
 was, " I shall now be ccettino; a ^rood salarv, 
 and I am determined when I ixo back to 
 economize as closely as I can in my ex- 
 penses, and educate the two little boys 
 
 Lieutenant 's death has left orphans. 
 
 Acts have come recently to light which 
 show that to bless the poor was one of 
 the habits and luxuries of his life. A very 
 intimate associate of his says, he used to 
 have more plans for doing good, in such 
 ways, than any man I ever knew. 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 153 
 
 Naturally reserved except among a few 
 chosen intimates, and not particularly trans- 
 parent in his character to ordinary observ- 
 ers, his truthfulness could never be called 
 in question. So many fathers say this that 
 the world look upon it as a commonplace, 
 and smile at parental incredulity. But per- 
 haps the suspecting may believe that a high 
 degree of veracity marked his life, when it 
 is asserted that while he knew how to keep 
 a secret as well as any other man, no mem- 
 ber of his father's family can recollect an 
 instance in which he was ever even sus- 
 pected of a falsehood. 
 
 Every one gave him the credit of a 
 strong desire to do right, however much 
 he might fail, in practice. Writing to a 
 sister asking his advice, he says, " Do just 
 exactly what your conscience tells you is 
 right. There is only one right and one 
 wrong to anything ; and you must decide 
 it for yourself, by the help of God. We 
 cannot be too careful in these matters about 
 doing right. Every wrong makes it all the 
 
154 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 harder to do right next time. Do, then, 
 just what your conscience tells you is right, 
 and that will be approved by us.'' 
 
 The most prominent trait of his char- 
 acter has been supposed to be courage. If 
 this be so, it was moral couraoje rather than 
 natural ; not the courage of brute violence, 
 not the courage of indifference to danger, 
 but the courage of ])rinciple and ^cill. He 
 once said, *' I hardly know whether I have 
 courao-e or not. I cannot o-o into danger 
 without excitement, though I never shrink 
 from it. I once read of a soldier, who, 
 pale and trembling as he marched firmly 
 on right up to the cannon's mouth, was 
 pointed out to Napoleon for his timidity. 
 ' Not so,' said the Emperor, * he is a brave 
 fellow : he both knows his danger and does 
 his duty.' If anything like that is courage, 
 I have it." Is it not, indeed, the highest 
 form of courage ? Such a person is a reso- 
 lute soldier rather than a blindly daring one. 
 When the young Adjutant went to his last 
 battle, he seems to have expected death, but 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 155 
 
 did not flinch. Had that suspicion been 
 changed into a certainty, it would probably 
 have made no difference with him. He 
 would freely have laid down his life on the 
 altar of his country, and as he did, would 
 have died for it. 
 
 This is courage ; and Professor Tyler 
 says justly, while " all admired his courtesy, 
 kindness, and magnanimity, perhaps noth- 
 ing was so entirely characteristic of his 
 noble nature as courao;e and a hio;h sense 
 of honor. Few persons of his age have 
 ever won a better title to the description of 
 the chevalier, who was known as the knight 
 without fear and without reproach." 
 
 It is not necessary to say much more of 
 his religious spirit. Deep and powerful, 
 thoucrh for a lono; time militant, in what 
 might seem to the inexperienced a doubt- 
 ful struggle, when it came to predominate 
 in his character, it gave it strength and 
 balance. It enlarged his life and gave 
 breadth to his views. It inspired him with 
 a heavenly charity, for learning his own 
 
156 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 weaknesses, he knew how to pity those of 
 others. It was the inspiration of his patri- 
 otism, the enthusiasm of his soldiership, his 
 courage in the day of battle. It made him 
 faithful in his duties as an officer, and gave 
 him a fraternal interest in all the privates of 
 the regiment, and especially of the men un- 
 der his care. 
 
 The New Testament was the daily com- 
 panion of his life in camp; and .the little 
 pocket edition of it, new when he left 
 home, now thoroughly worn by use, bears 
 testimony how often and earnestly he pe- 
 rused it. And its precious promises doubt- 
 less cheered him when he breathed out his 
 spirit, and began to be realized by him 
 when that spirit entered on its eternity. 
 
 In concluding this notice, the Massachu- 
 setts 21st will bear with a stricken father, 
 in saying a word in his own person more 
 directly to them. I visited Annapolis on 
 the first day of the opening year. It 
 was at the suggestion of my child, who 
 wrote to me, " Father, you know the 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 157 
 
 chances of war." I saw you all once and 
 again, on parade, and admired your pro- 
 ficiency. I also saw much of your young 
 officer, who was so soon to fall. He seemed 
 to care little for himself, but took the deep- 
 est interest in you. He had just declined 
 the honorable position of aid-de-camp that 
 he might " stick by the men." I saw him 
 last on the 6th of January, the day you 
 went on board The Northerner. As he 
 marched that morning up and down the 
 whole lencrth of the remment, his beardless 
 cheeks 2;lowino; in the keen mornina; air, 
 you will not wonder that he should seem to 
 the eye of parental pride, as he did to oth- 
 ers, a truly accomplished and noble officer. 
 When you were drawn up on the wharf, 
 just before your departure, having been in- 
 troduced to you by Lieut. Col. Maggi, in 
 his interesting Italian way, as '' The Papa 
 of our Adjutant," it was my privilege to of- 
 fer a prayer with you to the God of armies 
 and of battles. Since that day I have often 
 heard of your good conduct and your bra- 
 
158 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 
 
 very ; and have felt personally honored in 
 your praises. I liad hoped that my boy 
 might be spared ; but I gave him up to 
 God and his country when he left my 
 house. He fell doing his duty as a Chris- 
 tian soldier, and I am satisfied. It is said, 
 that after the battle of Newbern, as soon 
 as the smoke had cleared away, and the 
 roar of the cannon had ^ceased, and silence 
 had taken the place of excitement and con- 
 fusion, a beautiful bird rose and hovered 
 over your camp, and sang in a strain of 
 the sweetest melody. Thus calmly rise the 
 spirits of Christian soldiers from the awful 
 din of the battle-field, singing with a clearer, 
 more joyous, and more entrancing note, as 
 they ascend to heaven. And why should 
 not fi'iends be satisfied, when their fallen 
 sons and brothers have died trustinor in 
 God and doing their duty ? 
 
 To your gallant Commander, my large- 
 hearted friend and almost brother, Lieut, 
 Col. Clark ; to the soldier who kindly min- 
 istered to the necessities of my dying child ; 
 
ADJUTANT STEARNS. 159 
 
 to another who bore his dead body away, in 
 his strong arms, with many tears ; to an- 
 other who took a precious lock from his 
 head and sent it home in tender tlioiight- 
 fulness of his mother ; to another who gath- 
 ered a wreath of wild-flowers and placed 
 them on his pulseless breast ; to the colored 
 young man who closed the eyes of his old 
 master after he had tried every art to bring 
 him back to life ; to all who performed kind 
 offices for him while still living, and after he 
 was dead ; to the regiment whom he loved 
 so sincerely, and who seem to have loved 
 him in return, — I take this opportunity to 
 express my grateful and hearty thanks. God 
 bless them, and reward them a thousand-fold. 
 Soldiers of the 21st, your young officer 
 died honorably. His character attracted ad- 
 miration. That character was matured and 
 formed by the religion of the New Testa- 
 ment. The Gospel sanctified its virtues, 
 and gave it breadth, power, and beauty. 
 He was indebted to it for much of his 
 bravery, faithfulness, generous interest in 
 
160 ADJUTANT STEARXS. 
 
 others, and his cheerful readiness for self- 
 sacrifice. The gospel not only affords soft 
 pillows for dying heads, but has a strength 
 for living men which is above all other 
 streno-th. It is also full of motives and 
 inspirations to noble deeds. If my child 
 could speak out to you from the silence 
 of eternity, I have no doubt that he would 
 ask you to stiidf/ it. There is nothing which 
 he used to lament so deeply as the profane- 
 ness which is common in our cam[)s. God 
 is good and merciful, but He is great and 
 awful, and will not '* hold us guiltless, if 
 we take His name in vain." There are 
 laro-e numbers of the bravest officers and 
 men in our armies who get along without 
 swearing. Why should not the 21st banish 
 it from among them ? As for myself, I shall 
 never forget your noble regiment, nor the 
 hundreds of thousands of patriotic soldiers 
 who are fighting our battles for us, so long as 
 I remember the name of Frazar Augustus 
 Stearns. 
 
 THE END.