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CROCKERY'S MISFORTUNES, 
 
 OR 
 
 &Vffl!&W#¥tfit&nM 
 
 0. 
 
 p ' 
 
 ABURLETTA 
 
 IN ONE ACT, 
 
 S PERFORMED At <THE 
 
 ROYAL COBOURG THEATRE. 
 
 NEW-YORK : 
 
 PUBLISHED BY E. M. MURDEN, 
 
 Circulating Library and Dramatic Repository, 
 
 NO. 4 CHAMBER-STREET, 
 
 Aug* 1322, 
 
DRAMATIS PERSONM 
 
 Rowland, Mr. Sheppard, 
 
 Crockery, Sloman. 
 
 ilr. Poplin, Gallott. 
 
 Livery Servant, Cooper. 
 
 Watchman, George. 
 
 Gentlemen, Watchmen, Mob, &c. 
 
 Molly Lapstone, Mis. Smith. 
 
 Scene in London— Time, nine in the eicning. 
 
o 
 
 % 
 
 
 CROCKERY'S MISFORTUNES, 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 SCENE L— A Street—Lights partly down. 
 Enter Rowland. 
 
 How. Where the devil is my stupid booby of a 
 servant! I gave him a Ieter to put in he post 
 and he has kept me waiting full half an hour. 
 
 (Looks at his watch, 
 Livery Servant crosses the stage. 
 Halloo young man — have you met with a fat 
 Jump of a fellow, waddling down the street with 
 his hands in his breeches pockets ? 
 
 Ser. Yes. sir, I have just past a person of that, 
 description, sitting on Ihe :,tep of a door, and cry- 
 ing as il his heart would break — when I asked 
 liim what was the matter, he said there was * 4 no- 
 thin% but halterations " Exit. 
 
 Row. Curse him, he's the plague of my life : 
 ever since we have returned from India that has 
 been hi^cry. If a barber's pole is moved from 
 the side of a house, or an spp'e-stall taken away, 
 it costs him as many tears as if he hud his mouth 
 full of mustard. I don't like to discharge the 
 poor fellow, for he has no friends in London, and 
 indeed I don't know who else would be troubled 
 with hrm ; but I have learut to put up with his 
 little failiugs, for after all he has a good heart. 
 
 (Crockery calls behind. 
 
 Crock. Oh dear ! a 2 
 
A CROCKERY'S MISTORTUNfeS. Anon, 
 
 B.07V. Here he comes ! at last ! was there 
 ever such a snivelling fellow seen ? 
 Enter Crockery crying, and stands at the first 
 
 wing with his hands in his breeches pockets. 
 
 Crock. Oh dear! 
 
 Row. What's the matter now, Crockery ?— 
 Did you put the letter in the post ? 
 
 Crock. No — no — oh — nothing; but halteration ; 
 formerly they used to give letters to a postman, 
 now they put them in a lion's mouth. 1 was 
 afraid he'd bite my fingers. Oh lord ! they charge 
 three pence for the twopenny post letters now. 
 
 Row. Poh ! where have you been all this 
 while ? 
 
 Crock. I lost my way—the streets are so trans- 
 mogrified there is no finding any place that von 
 vants— there's old Lapstone, thecobler, an honest 
 painstaking man, who used to live in St. Martin's- 
 le-grand, in the city, and vas just getting up in 
 the vorld, ven I vent to Hingy, is gone Lore} 
 knows where. Oh, dear I they've pulled his stall 
 down. 
 
 Row. Well, you booby, need that trouble 
 you ? 
 
 Crock. Yes. 
 
 How. Why? 
 
 Crock. Because his darter Molly vas mysweet- 
 heart, afore I vent to Hitigy—l gied her a ring, 
 and promised to ved her ven 1 returned — Oh 
 dear ! 
 
 Row. Well don't you let it give you auy con- 
 cern — you shall advertise her in the newspapers, 
 Jiere — (gives money) go to the Morning Fost'm 
 the Strand, and make haste back, I want to send 
 *ou with a message. 
 
Anon. crockery's misfortune?, $ 
 
 Crock. Are you going back to the Hot-lull? 
 
 Row. Yes. 
 
 Crock. Oh ! 
 
 Row. Weil, go, and eee that you make no 
 blunder. 
 
 Croclc. Yes — I came past Vcstminsier-hall, just 
 row— they've pulled down the pretty himagcs \o% 
 stood at the door vithout any noses, and are go- 
 ing to give them new faces. Oh dear i 
 
 Exit. 
 
 Row. Poor fellow — he's misery personified — 
 a perfect Niobe — all tears — but I can"t be an- 
 gry with him — I wonder whether he'll find his 
 way — he wanders about the metropolis like a 
 stray sheep — the boys hoot at him — the passen- 
 gers laugh, and he snivels. (A laugh behind. 
 
 Crock. (Calls without-) Oh, dear ! 
 Enter Crockery, covered with mud. 
 
 Row. What now ? 
 
 Crock. Oh, Lord — here's a misfortin ! 
 
 Row. How the devil came you in such a pickle ? 
 
 Crock. A horse knocked me down in the mud 
 — nothingbut halterations — there used to be ou!y 
 live horses and jackasses, now they've got vooden 
 vons, \ot goes upon vheels. 
 
 Row. Why didn't you look about you ? 
 
 Crock. I couldn't. 
 
 Row. You couldn't? 
 
 Crock. No. 
 
 Row. Why ? 
 
 Crock. Because my hyes were full of tears to 
 
 think of the changes of Lunnun, since I vent to 
 
 Ilingy. Nothing is called by the right name 
 
 now. I met a gcatleman as I ccrced along, drest 
 
 a 3 
 
8 CROCKERY'S MISFORTUNES. Anon. 
 
 in a new suit of black, and vould you believe it 
 they said he'd been vile-vashed ? 
 
 Ron). Well, go and get yourself scraped, mate 
 haste, or you will not be at the office time enough 
 to have the advertisement inserted. (Crockery 
 sniffs his nose.) What does the booby stand 
 there for cocking up his nose, like a pig in the 
 wind ? 
 
 Crock. Don't you smell a stench, master t 
 
 Row. It's the gas, you stupid follow. 
 
 Crock. Oh dear, there vasn't no gash afore I 
 vent to llinpy. ExiL 
 
 Row. Well, I must back to my lodgings, its 
 getting late, and T ordered dinner at five — after 
 which 1 shall loiter away half an hour in the club 
 room, 'twill amuse the time till Crockery returns 
 from the Morning Post ofike. Exit. 
 
 SCENE II.— Another Street.— Street lamps 
 lighted. 
 Enter crockery. 
 Crock. Oh dear !— vat a vonderful place js this 
 Lutinun —but then vot changes have taken place 
 — it's enough to make von's heart bleed — there's 
 the gentlemen vat used to vear beautiful flower- 
 ed vaistcoats down to their knees, now vears 
 stays, sham collars, and boots with rewohvmg eels 
 — every thing is changed — eveo Lambeth Mush 
 is haltered, for they've built a Cobourg playhouse 
 there, vot the big playhouses vants to put down, 
 and made a bridge over the vater, vere they 
 charges a penny a piece for going through a vir- 
 
 J^ig.— -Oh dear ! 
 
Anon. crockery's misfortunes. 7 
 
 SONG — Crockery; 
 Tune.— : ' the roast beef of Old England/ 1 
 
 From Hi.vgy 1 came, with my master, oh, dear! 
 JJut Luantin is not. like the «;.me place that's clear, 
 it has nigh broke my heart since 1 have been here. 1 
 Oh, the old times of Old England, 
 Oil dear, the good English olu times. 
 
 The town is so changed that 1 don't know a spot, 
 The times are so hard there's no vork to be got, 
 And fnr porter they charges you tip-pence a pot. 
 Oh, the old times, ike. 
 
 Then the sides of the houses are stuck full of bills, 
 About blacking, mock auctions and vonderful pili», 
 But for von that they cures a hundred they kills. 
 Oil, the old times, ike. 
 
 There's the names nre all halter'd verever I goes, 
 And the people all laughs at the cut of my close * 
 The men -j.w tnrn'd s&x -.:>-— the belles aieturu'd beaux # 
 Oh the old times, &.c. 
 
 Ven I vent bout to Htngy if any one died, 
 A good vooden coffin they used to provide ; 
 But huk'x vons now keep the poor voims aorTSiDE^ 
 Oh the oid times, &c. 
 
 There's the Lancaster schools now all over the land, 
 Vot teaches the children to scribble ov saVb, 
 And a hum. y Bosass*s votlive^in the Strand. 
 Oh, the new times of Old England &c. 
 
 There's a new :.ux preserver with-vich you can't 
 
 drown, 
 J\nd a new kind of soVrEJGw's just come into town. 
 One is worth a found note, and the otbera crown. 
 Oh, the new times, &c. 
 
S crockery's misfortunes, Anon. 
 
 The 'play-bills have hart! vords vot I cannot speak, 
 And the organs play's nothing but Latin anil Grfek, 
 And — it's rain'd evert day now for more than a 
 
 VEEK. 
 
 Oh, the new times, ^c. 
 
 There's a man valks on vater and dont vet nis feet,, 
 And a patent steam kitchen vot cooks all your meat, 
 And Epp's ham and beef shop in every street. 
 Oh the new times, &c. 
 
 I valks up and down with the tears in my hye, 
 Vot they vonce called a vaggon they now call a fly, 
 And the boys points their fingers and calls me a guv. 
 Oh the old times or old England, 
 Oh dear ! the good English old times. 
 
 Crock. Oh clear i it's getting dark, and I've 
 lost my vay — here's some gentlemen, I'll axe 
 them — 
 
 Enter Two Gentlemen, arm in arm conversing 
 — the handkerchief of one hangs out of his 
 pocket — Crockery takes hold of it to attract 
 his attention ; the Gentlemen ivalk on and 
 exiU — the handkerchief remains in the hand 
 of Crockery. 
 
 lie von ? t speak 1 — (Sets the liandker chief in his 
 hand.) — Hallo ! — I've got his haudkerchicf — 
 (Examines i/.J— my hye ' its a Hingy von — I 
 must go artur him — but they valks so quick I 
 shall not be able to overtake them — (Noise of 
 rattles.)— .Vol's the matter now : more misfei* 
 tune I 
 
Alton. CltocKEiir's misfortune's. § 
 
 ('Ik is waldl'mg across— when Watchmen 
 spring limr rattles mat Enter.) 
 
 Watch. What we've caught 3*011 my ccrcy ? 
 Crock. Oh dear, I'm not a covey; I' m looking 
 for my swee'heart Dolly Lapslone, I'm goiii" to 
 put her in thttppst. 
 
 ("He attempts to run off—ilir. Watchmen seize 
 
 him hi; the tail of his coat which tears off— 
 
 a chare round the stage ensues — they hit Mm 
 
 with tttiir slides, he Jails-— and kicks tfiem— 
 
 they bring him forward rearing and rutting 
 
 h imsclf — Crowd enter.) 
 
 Creek. Oh lord ! — [ only wish my master, Mr. 
 
 iUwknd vas lure, he vound't suffer me to be 
 
 Topp'fl in this here manner. 
 
 W&tch* Search fiim— search him J — I saw him 
 pick thegnimnan's pocket— (In his fright Crock- 
 try has ]jut ike handkerchief in lis waistcoat, 
 which tkegen&lemmn who has entered with the crowd 
 recognises. ) 
 
 GmL This is my handkerchief ! I'll swear to it. 
 Hatch. Away with him to the watch-house — 
 the cabe is plain— property found in his posses* 
 Bion. 
 
 Creek, Here's a balte ration !— my heart vill 
 break! — Ch dear ! — vere's my tail ? — 
 
 (Feels behind.) 
 Hatch. Away with him ! 
 Crock. Here's a go \ — ah deer? — 
 
 (They first him <ff 
 
 A 5 
 
10 CROCKERY'S MI£FORTUl*E?& AcCll. 
 
 SCENE llL—TkcClub-Rccni at &e TiM. 
 
 Mr. Poplin in IheChair.— Mr. Kowla: id, rtarf 
 several Gentlemen drinking (d a l$&k, dis- 
 covered* — Candles lighted on tabic. 
 
 GLEE— Webbs. 
 
 To me the waVitoh girls insult ittg say 
 Here in (his glass thy failing bloom survey, 
 Just pn the verge of life — 'tis equal quite, 
 Whether n:y locks arc black or silver while, 
 Hoses around my fragrant brows I 1 !! twine, 
 And dissipate anxieties in wine. 
 
 Pop. Bravo, Bravo, well now in rill my tr: 
 1 never heard u better glee. — Gout'lense-ia, ill 
 jour glasses. 
 
 How. Very p;oor!, Mr. Poplin, btrf. yctt talk of 
 your travels, this is the first time 1 bare heard 
 you were ever out of London. 
 
 Pep. Oh bless you, my acquaintance call bw 
 the travelling genius, thb' I never yet turned my 
 observation of the world to any accoeat — bat I 
 intend wery shortly to publish them in a I 
 quarto, eurich'd with a likeness of myself, in si 
 morning gown and a pen in my hand. 1 doubt 
 it will be eagerly sought after by the fashionables 
 at the vest end of the town. 
 
 Horn. What rue the principal countries, in 
 which you have made your researches, Mr. Pop- 
 lin ? 
 
 Pop. Oh bless you; down in the Vest to Ham- 
 mersmith, Kensington, Turnbam Green and Rich- 
 mond — as far North as ilolloway, liighgate, and 
 ^ tttlt! Bridge— Eastward to Belbnal Green, and 
 
Anon. CKOCKERY^S misfortune's ]V 
 
 Ropemaker's Fields ; — and South, to Grinnsge 
 Hill and Deptibrd. 
 
 Row. I wonder you could ever find leisure to 
 go so far from your business. 
 
 Pop. O bless you, I always made the most of 
 my time: I only vishyou had seen my pocket- 
 book, the last holiday 1 had afore I came out o£ 
 my 'preuticeship villi oU\Ellvulc. — Vhy do you 
 know I filled every page of a four-penny book 
 vot I bought of a Jew, from beginning to eud 
 villi my remarks. 
 
 Row. No doubt they were very scientific. 
 
 Pop. Oh bless you, wery scientific — vhy do you 
 know I got a know Sedge of botomy from the Lady's 
 Magazine, I used to take it in vhen I vasa 'pren- 
 tice — I only vish you saw my answer to the Co- 
 mtndrum's last month — do you know, I siguid 
 myself Sharprvil, for fear of old Ellwide find- 
 ing me out. 
 
 Rc7V. A very good idea, Mr. Poplin — your old 
 master would never expect to find you by the 
 appellation of Sharpwii. 
 
 Pop. Decfi ! — vasn't it ? 
 
 Row. Very — but Mr. Poplin you have not yet 
 given us the song you promised. 
 
 Crowd. Aye, aye, the sortg by all means. 
 
 Pop. Vhy I should be wery happy to oblige 
 you in my small vay, but at present I have a ter- 
 rible CGld and hoarseness vich X caught last week 
 up the New River, sniggling for eels. 
 
 1st Gent. Come, come, Mr. Poplin, we'll have- 
 up excuses. 
 
 no Gent, Fill Mr. l\ a bumper, 'twill dear h 
 III rust. 
 
12 crockery's misfortune's. Anon, 
 
 Pop. Vol sort of a song would you Jllic ? — a 
 tragic song — a comic sons;, a hunting song, or — . 
 
 Row. Oh sing what is most convenient to your- 
 self, sir. 
 
 Pop. Did you ever hear my sons, vot I made 
 vhen I belonged to the Ciiy Vils in Bow Lane ? 
 
 How. I never had that pleasure, tir. 
 
 Pop. Veil then I'll attempt it ; but I give you 
 varning afore I begin 'tis rather tragical — hut ifs 
 quite true — hem ! — h^m ! — (Clears his throat.) 
 —I used to sin<i it in H flat, but I don't know 
 whether I shall be able to hit it without R pitch- 
 fork — Oh — ah — q*x— (Junes his voice.) — thai'* 
 somewhat about it. 
 
 SONG— Poplin. 
 
 Tune. — "Riley and his dear Colinhand" 
 Come here ye lovyers ;i!l now and listen to ray tale, 
 'Tis of von Sammy Sujjnrpluinb vot lov*<! a drapofalej 
 lie courted Podt Chitterlings, the Porkrr.au d daVtui 
 
 sveet, 
 Vot iU"d Id Mutton Latse,'twixt Saffron hi 1.1 and Turn 
 mill street. 
 
 Ri to! de rol, &c. 
 
 It vos von Vilsun Monday he made Miss Podl his bride. 
 He took her in a von horse shay all fnr to have a ride ; 
 P>ut ven the\ did return at ni-tit it vns a- dark a 1 - pitch, 
 And Sam beiu? blind with drinking ale drove vo;> iruo 
 a ditch. 
 
 Ri to>l de rol, &c. 
 
 Miss Podl s neck vos broke in two— poor Sam vos 
 
 bruised sore, 
 He puITd Miss Podi from the mud who never spoke 
 
 no more ; 
 lie look her up a pick-a-pnek and put her in the shay. 
 Then hi:: the one a deuce of a vack and gallop: 
 
 away, 
 
 Ri to] de rol, &c. 
 
Anoo. crockery's misfortune's. 33 
 
 It was a sight all for to see vot vould have freez'd 
 your blood, 
 
 Poor Fodl's little button mouth vos plastered up wit'. 
 mud ; r 
 
 JIerIovH>littlesatin s hoe S ,andbonneilin'dwithpin'K 
 > at Sam had Otry'd the day afore vos now as black as 
 ink'. 
 
 Iti tol de rol, &c. 
 
 Her ghost appeared to him at night, and this to him did 
 say, 
 
 " Oh Sammy, Sammy, Sugarplumb.all cold now is mv 
 
 clay ; 
 My ghost vill haunt you day and night, till you are 
 
 robb'dlife. of 
 For veil you know Sam Sugarplumb, vot I'm your law- 
 
 ful wife." J 
 
 Ri tol de rol, &c. 
 
 Poor Sammy soon he lost his fits, and then von morn- 
 
 ing, he 
 Vas foujHd a hanging by the neck all from a villow tree • 
 Their gnosis appear to travellers who're riding out that 
 
 way, * 
 
 Each Vitsuoiide, by Ornsey Vood, all in a ahorse 
 
 shay. 
 
 Fi tol de rol, Ac, 
 
 §0 now ye Iovyers high and low, take varning by their 
 
 fa ! . ' , 
 Don't guzzle ale, or if y* d , oh do not stay out la(e ; 
 « Sam had been ;> ?ober man and still behav'd a, stch,' 
 His bride, poor i J odl, vouidn't have been smotherMia 
 
 a ditch. 
 
 Ri toj dc rol, &e, 
 
 Qmncs! Bravo! Bravo 1 
 
 (Crockery behind.) 
 
 Crock. Cli dear ! 
 
 Bow. Oh here's (bat booby Crockery, grumb- 
 Hag up stairs, as usual. 
 
t4 CROCKER V-S 31I3F0RTUNe's. AdOD. 
 
 Enter Crockery. 
 Why, Crockery, what's the matter now? — 
 Where's the tail of your coat, and where have 
 you been all this while ! — You see I have done 
 dinner long ago. 
 
 Crock. Oh lord ! — I don't know whether you 
 have done your dinner, but I knows vot I'm dish'd 
 — nothing hut misfortius ! — Oh dear ! 
 
 Row Will you leave ofTy our infernal oh dears, 
 and tell me in plain English what has happened: 
 Have you been to the office ? 
 
 Crock. No. 
 
 Row. Did you lose your way ? 
 
 Crock. Yes. 
 
 Row- Where is the money I gave you ? 
 
 Crock. Gone. 
 
 Row. Have you lost it ? 
 
 Crock. No. 
 
 Row. Have you been robbed? 
 
 Crock. No. 
 
 (During this dialogue, Rowland works him- 
 self into a passion, Crockery meantime be- 
 comes more affected, till at last he bursts into 
 a roar. J 
 
 Row. (Collars him.) You infernal rascal, if 
 you don't leave off your noes and tell nit the whole 
 siil'air, I'll strangle you. 
 
 Crock. Oh lord, vot am I to do vithout a nose £ 
 —my hyes ! — vot a halteratiou. 
 
 Row. Will you be explicit ? (Shakes him.) 
 
 Crock. Yes ! I'll he any thing if you vou't tear 
 fiy coat. I vent clown the street ven you left 
 roe, and feeling wery dry, I axed a gentleman 
 vere I could get a little porter — so he took me 
 down a court to a short hmnpback'd fellow, vhh 
 
Anoa. crockery's misfortunk's 15 
 
 a knot on his shoulder, and said I vanted him, 
 and vhen I said it vas beer vot I vanted, they set 
 to and vopped me. Oh lord ? 
 
 Row. Well ? 
 
 Crock. No. it vasn't veil, for I lost my vay, 
 and then I axed a gentleman vich vas the vay to 
 the Post — my hye ! — he gied me sich a shove 
 agen von at the corner of the street, as knocked 
 all the vind out of my belly. 
 
 Row. Go on. 
 
 Crock. I did go on, and a pretty go I made on 
 it — for I vent to speak to another gentleman and 
 lie vent on, and left his hankercher in my hand. 
 
 Row. Well, you returned it to liiui ? 
 
 Crock, No, I didn't. 
 
 Row. Why ? 
 
 Crock. Cause I couldn't. 
 
 Rom. Damn it, fellow, will you come to the 
 end of your history in a few words ? 
 
 Crock. Yes, if you von'i snub me so. The 
 vatchmen runned on, and 1 got took to the vatch- 
 house for a thief. I never vas took for a Uiicf 
 afore I vent to Hingy— and then they laughed and 
 called my boots buckets, and said, I should be 
 hanged in 'em — then, a man in a harm chair axed 
 me vhere I corned from — ven I said the hot-hell 
 they laughed agen, and axed vho vas my master, 
 and ven I said a hold gentleman, my hye !— they 
 laugh'd ready to split their sides. Oh dear ! — ■ 
 and said you vas old nick. 
 
 Row. Poh, you're a fool. How did you get 
 out of the watchhouse ? 
 
 Crock. Vhy, I said you vas Mr. Rowland, and 
 a gentleman said vot he know'd you, and vonldn i 
 
16 crockery's misfortune's: Anon. 
 
 do nothing to hurt me, so they let me off— (but 
 they made me treat the vatchman first) and told 
 me to go home and say my prayers, for I had a 
 squeak, and that's all. 
 
 Row. Well, Crockery, -you must be more cau- 
 tious for the future. 
 
 Poplin. (Looks athis watch. J Law bless me,how 
 late it is ! — I vonder my nousekeeper han't been 
 here yet with the key of the street-door: — if she 
 forgets to leave it, and goes to sleep, I shall have 
 to valk the streets all night, for the devil himself 
 can't vake her vhen vonce she gets into a doze, 
 and snores — lord, how she does snore ! 
 
 Crock. Master, do you know they've got a scaf- 
 folding up Saint Pauls — they say they're going to 
 put a lamp a top to shew the cockneys their vay 
 home. 
 
 Pop. Cockneys ! — Yat do you mean by cock- 
 neys, sir ? 
 
 (Poplin hits Crockery a terrible slap on the 
 face — he falls down.) * 
 
 Crock. Oh dearl 
 
 Row. Oh never mind him, Mr. Poplin, he 
 didn't mean to insult you, 
 
 (A rap at the room door.) 
 
 Pop. I dare say its my nousekeeper. 
 
 Row. Come in, 
 
 Enter Molly Lafstone, 
 
 Molly. I've brought the key, sir. 
 Crock. (Rubbing himself.) I shall have a vhite 
 s veiling. 
 
 Row. Crockery, you're a fool. 
 
Anon, crockery's misfortune's 17 
 
 Molly, Crockery ! 
 
 Crock. (Looking at her. J Vhy it isn't !— that 
 woice ! — yes, it is 1 — my eyes !— Vet Molly Lap- 
 stone ! 
 
 (They rush into each others arms and embrace 
 
 Crock. Oh dear! 
 
 Pop. Hollo, you sir, I don't allow any liberties 
 villi my Housekeeper. 
 
 Crock. Lord, lord, to think that you vos that 
 ere pretty girl vot I knowed thirty years ago, 
 afore I vent to Hingy — vot a halteration. Ah 
 Molly, there's nothiug but changes — (They burst 
 into tears.) 
 
 Pop. Tins is a wery affecting scene. I must 
 enter it in my memorandum book. 
 
 (Wi/ics his eyes — takes ont his pocket book and 
 writes.) 
 
 Molly. Ah Crockery, and do you love me as 
 
 dearly as ever ? 
 
 Crock. Do I love you ? — my bye ! — vot a ques- 
 tion I Aye, that I do — and if master vill gie me 
 leave, I'll 30 and put up the banns directly. 
 
 Molly. Mr. Poplin, mind I give you warning to 
 quit — 1 am going to get married, and don't mean 
 to have any more sitting up o'nights. 
 
 Pop. Here'? a prettv mess, vhy, vhat am I to 
 do vithout a Housekeeper te!s me that? 
 
 Crock. You rant get von at the liecko office ; 
 there vasn't no Heckc, cjftce? afore i vent to Hingy. 
 Do you know, master, thej mAz patent crumpets 
 now, there va&n't none thirty years ago. I shall 
 be a bridegroom at last. Oh dear 1 there's a 
 change. 
 
 Row. Aye, Crockery, and as you have saved a 
 
3 8 crockery's misfortune's Anon, 
 
 s;ood sum of money in my service, snap your fin- 
 ders at the world and its changes— look on the 
 bright side of the prospect — leave offsniveling-— 
 and endeavour to make yourself comfortable for 
 the rest of your days. 
 
 Crock. Veil, you have been a good master to 
 me, Mr. Rowland, so if youhavrrt no objection, 
 I'll still keep my place, for I likes to be employed, 
 and then of a hevcniriq- 1 cau sit down by the fire- 
 side vith Molly and the little vons, if ve have any, 
 and talk of the times vhen l used to play at mar' 
 Iocs mivvijs in the court, and puddle, puddle, pud- 
 dle at the innocent old pump, vith all the little 
 boys. Ah, them there vas the good old times 1 
 
 Row. Very likely, Crockery ; but you may now 
 cease to grumble, for if you don't find any alter- 
 ation here, you will have no cause to regret the' 
 transmogrifications of London. 
 
 Crock. Oh dear ! 
 
 F 7 A' ALE. 
 
 Then while our friends continue to cheer, 
 Our hearts with approbation j 
 
 We shall not be inclin'd to fear, 
 Another alteration. 
 
 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
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