jN(nv ^ READY, (A THRILLING ITE^J — Farce, 3 m Price -I SEEING BOSTING — Farce, 3 males. laks, 1 female. AMES' SERIES OF STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. 6^6- NO. 135. Z^I17 44. ^ THE WIDOWER'S TRIALS. H>2 ^ r-J WITH OAST OP CHARACTRRS, RNTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COS- -^l TUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, ^ CAREI'ULLY MARKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED ACT- ING COPY. 5 S " ^=5 PRICE 15 CENTS CLYDE, OHIO: A. D. AMES, PUBLISHER OUK CATALOGI E FEEE TO AXY OKE AMES' SERIES OF ACTING PLAYS. PRICE FIFTEEN CENTS EACH-CATALOGUES FREE. ^•» NO. X. 7. 12 A Capital Match, farce, 1 act, by J. M. Morton ^ 3 3 30 A Day Well Spent, farce, 1 act, by John Oxenford 7 5 2 A Desperate Game, comic drama, 1 act, by Morton 3 2 75 Adrift, temperance drama, 3 acts, by C W. 13abcock, M. D 6 4 80 Alarmingly yuspicious, comedietta, 1 act, J, P. Simpson 4 3 39 A Life's Revenge, drama, 3 acts,- by W. E. Suter 7 5 78 An Awful Criminal, furcc, 1 act, by J. Palgrave Simpson 3 3 15 An lliihappy Pair, cthiopian farce, 1 act, by G. W. H. Griffin 1 1 G5 An Unwelcome Return, com. inti'd, 1 act, by George A. Munson 3 1 31 A Pet of the Public, farce, 1 act, by Edward Sterling 4 2 21 A Romantic Attachment, comedietta, 1 act, by Arthur Wood 3 3 43 Arrali DeBaugh, drama, 5 acts, by F. C. Kinnaman 7 5 123 A Thrilling Item, farce, 1 act, by Newton Chisnel 3 1 73 At Last, temperance drama, 3 acts, by G. C. Vautrot 7 1 20 A Ticket of Leave, farce, 1 act. by Watts Phillips 3 2 V2o Auld Robin Gray, emo. drama, 5 acfs, Malcolm Stuart Taylor, 25 cents 13 3 100 Aurora Floyd, dVama, 2 acts, by W. E. Suter 7 3 89 Beautv of Lyons, dom. drama, 3 acts, by W. T. Moncriefl 11 2 8 Bett^ f Half, comedietta, 1 act, by T. J. Williams 5 2 98 Black Statue, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by C White 3 2 113 Bill Detrick, melodrama, 3 acts, by A.Newton Field 6 4 86 Black vs. White, farce, 1 act, by George S. Vautrot 4 2 14 Brigands of Calabria, rom, drama, 1 act, W. E. Suter 6 1 22 Captain Smith, farce, 1 act, by E. Berrie 3 3 84 Cheek will Win, farce, 1 act, by W. E. Suter 3 49 Der two Surprises, Dutch farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. Clifton 1 1 72 Deuce is hi Him, farce. 1 act, by R. J. Raymond 5 1 19 Did I Dream it ? farce, 1 act, by J. P. Wooler 4 3 42 Domestic Felicity, farce, 1 act, by Hattie L. Lambla 1 1 60 Driven to the Wall, play, 4 acts, by A. D. Ames 10 3 27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend, ethiopean farce 2 13 Give me my Wife, farce, 1 act, by W. E. Suter 3 3 117 Hal Hazard, military drama, 4 acts, by Fred. G. Andrews 8 3 50 How She Has Her Own Way, sketch m 1 act, by Ida M. Buxton 1 3 24 Handy Andy, ethiopean farce, 1 act 2 66 Hans, the Dutch J. P., Dutch farce. 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 3 1 116 Hash, farce, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins 4 2 52 Henry Granden, drama, 3 acts, by Frank L. Bingham 11 8 17 Hints on Elocution and how to become an Actor 103 How Sister P. got Child Baptized, ethiopean farce, 1 act i.. 2 1 76 How He Did It, comic drama, 1 act, by John Parry 3 2 74 How to Tame Your Mother-in-law, farce, 1 act, by H. J. Byron 4 3 ,35 How Stout You're Ge ting, farce, 1 act. by J. M. Morton 5 2 26 Hunter of the Alps, drama, 1 act, by Wm. DJmoud 9 4 47 In the Wrong Box, cthiopian farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. Clifton 3 95 In the Wrnig Clothes, farce, 1 act 5 3 77 Joe's Visit, Ethiopian farc«r, 1 act. by A. Leavitt and H. Eagan 2 1 11 John Smith, farce, 1 act, by W. Hancock 5 3 99 Jumbo Jum, farce, 1 act 4 3 82 Killing Time, farce, 1 act 1 1 9 Liidy Audlcy's Secret, drama, 2 acts, by W. E. Suter 6 4 3 Lady of Lyons, drama, 5 acts, by Bulwer 12 5 101 Lost, temperance drama, 3 acts, by F. L. Cutler 6 2 106 Lodgings for Two, comic sketch, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 3 46 Man and Wife, drama, 5 acts, by II. A. Webber 12 7 91 Michael Erie, drama, 2 acts, by Egerton Wilks 8 3 36 Miller of Dcrwent Water, drama, 3 acts, by E. Fitzball 5 2 88 Mischievous Nigger, Eihioi)ian farce, 1 act, by C. White ; 4 2 34 Mistletoe Bougii, melodrama, 2 acts, by C. Somerset : 7 3 i>, ^" Catalogue continued on next page of cover. _^ THE WIDOWER'S TRIALS. A SKETCH FBOM BEAL LIFE^ IN TWO ACTS, — BY— JAMES M. DOW. Entered according io act of Congress, in the ymr IS84, "by A. D. AMES, in the office of the Librarian, of Congress, at Washington^, ^ CLYDE, OHIO. A. D. AMES, PUBLISHER The Widower's Trials. fo^^ A^ CHARACTERS. . COLONEL JACKSON", the Widower. PAT, an Irishman full of fun and in love with Mollle, MR. DIXON, one of the obliging ones. TRAISTK BROWN, an incorrigible youth, almost a nuisance* i]MMA WATKINS, a loveable yonng lady. 3ERTHA MORGAN, not in love with the Colonel. ylOLLIE, in love with Pat. \IRS. COLONEL JACKSON, the ColoneVs wnfe, JTTLE GIRL, her daughter. C0STU31ES— .41) LTBITUM. TIME OF PERF0B2IANCE—TITIBTY MINUTES, ItiB Widower's Trials. ACT I, SCENE I. — Parlor in Col, Jacksoji's residence. iSoh Jackson discovered reading paper. Col J. [laying paper on table) Well, Well, this living a widower's life is fettiug rather monotonous — it is nearly a year since my dear companion left me, and it is high time that I found some one to fill her place. 01 course it will not be a very difficult job to get me a wife, as almost any of the girls would jump at an offer from me. 'Tis true I am well along in years, but I do not show my age so very much, and then, look at the position that I hold. I am Justice of the Peace, Notary Public, Insurance Agent, e c. I have about twenty-five thousand dollars at my disposal, but if I paid my debts with it, I must say I would find myself about twenty-five thousand dollars behind. But let me once get married, and I can place the money in my wife's hands, and they can'tcollect a cent. I believe that is the easiest way to pay my debts and I think I will do it. Now let me see who bad I better have for my wife. There is Emma "VVatkins, she is a fine appearing young lady, and would make me a good wife, and then old Wat- kins is pretty well off and if I should happen to get short of funds I could borrow of the old man. 1 believe that I will take a walk down that way and propose the matter and have it settled at once. {rings the bell Enter Mollie, l. ■*=-My hat and cane, Mollie. Mollie. Yee, sir. Exit) I,.'— re- enters bringing hat and cane, — Here they are. Col J. If any one should call while I am absent, tell them I am away upon some very important business, and may not return till late, {exit, r Mollie. Shure an' he will stay till late, an' I believe I'll sind for Pat, and have him come to tay, an' won*t itbefoine to have the house alltoour- Bilves. An' then I can give Pat some of the Colonel's sherry wine. Och! but won't he think that's a treat, {looks o-ff k.) Faith an' there goes Pat how. {calls) Here, Pat, Pat ! Fat. {outside) An' shure Mollie darlin' did ye spake tome? Mollie. Yis Pat, come in, the Colonel is away an' we can have the whole house to oursilves. 4 TEE WIDOWER'S TRIALS, Enter Fat, b. Pat. An' whin will the old Colonel be back ? Mollie. Shure an' he said he was goin' out on particular business an* wouldn't be back till late. An' now, Pat, sit down while I gitthetay riddy. Pat. But Mollie darlin', hadn't I better go down in the kitchen wid ye? Mollie. No Pat, we have everything to oursilves to-day, an' I'm goin' to intertain ye i^ the best of style. An' now Pat, amuse yoursilf lookin' at the pictures an^ things, while I fix up a bit an' sit the table. {exit, L. Pat. Well'now, this is snug indade, I don't git intertained in such a foine manner every day. I wonder where this door goes to. {opens door) Faith an' this door goes to a closet — well it may come handy if 1 should have to hide. Well now, some of them pictures are pirty foine — that one there is pirty nigh as good as the one Mrs. McSpilkins got with the "Farra and Fireside." I'll bet it cost as much as fifteen cents. I wish she would hurry up, for I am gettin' hungry as a whale. Enter Mollie, l. Mollie. Come Pat, everything's all riddy, an' I got some of the Colonel's best sherry for ye. Pat. Sherry did ye say ? be jabbers an' I'll be after a thunkin that I am the President of the United States. Och, Mollie but you are a darlin' in- deed, {exit bothf L. SCENE II.— Street, 1st. grooves. Enter Colonel Jackson, r. Col J. It 13 only a few steps to her house now — yes I can see it through the trees and shrubbery yonder. Some way I do not feel quite so confident of a favorable reply as 1 did. She thinks no doubt I am worth the twenty- five thousand dollars, and that together with the fact that I am not so bad looking, will doubtless have an influence in my favor. I declare I do not have as much courage as 1 thought I had. I am all in a perspiration. How* ever I must face it. For shame, Colonel, for shame — brace up. {conUnues as he exits, L. SCENE III.— Parlor as before. Enter Pat and Mollie, l. Pat. Shure Mollie an' its your precious silf as is fit to intertain a queen, Mollie. Now Pat, sit down and make yoursilf aisy, while I clear up the dishes. {exit, h. Pat. Now that girl is a darlin', sure an' its me ownsilf as will be the happiest mon in this blessed counthry, whin we get hitched up in double harness an' travel down through the path of life together. Enter Mollie, l. Mollie. Och Pat, an' the colonel is a comin*, he is just at the door, what will we do, he'll turn me off I know he will. Pat. Bejabers an' I'll have to hide, I'll jest step in here, {opens door to closet) An' then you sind him after something, an' I'll be after takin' a French leave. {exit into closet Enter Colonel Jackson, r. Col J. Mollie, take ray hat and cane. THE WID TVER 'S TRIALS. S Mollie. Yia, sir. {asidei^ He'il find Pat, I know he will ! oh, dear, what shall I do? Col J. Well I'm surprised — Pat. {looking out) Faith an' so am I. Col J. Who would have thought that she would refuse me, a man in my position, and then upon my way back, I stopped and saw Miss Jones, but she could not think of getting married at the present, and then I went across the street and saw Miss Smith, but she said that she was too young to get married. In fast, I went all around and they all had some excuse. I suppose I will marry Mollie yet. Pat. Jerusalem! Then what will I do f Col J. {looking out, R.) Weil I declare, if their isn't Miss Morgan going by, she has come home for a visit, and there is still another chance left. Pat. To get the mitten. ColJ. There goes her cousin, Charlie Dixon, I'll call him in and see what he thinks about the matter, {goea to door) Hello, Dixon ! won't you come in for a momenl? I wish to speak to you upon some very important business. Enter Dixon, r. Dixon. Certainly, Colonel Jackson I am one of the obliging sort, and if there is any thing I can do for you, I will do it most willingly. Col J. There is lean assure you, Mr. Dixon. You see 1 am in a dilemma and I wish to ask your advice, and perhaps your assistance. Dixon. Very well. Colonel, as I said before, if there is any thing lean do for you I will do it with pleasure. Col J. I sep, Dixon, that your cousin Bertha Morgan is at home. Is she married, engaged, or any thing of that sort? Dixon, (aside) I wonder if he thinks there is a chance for hira. (aloud) Well Colonel to the best of my knowledge she is not, but why do you ask ? Pat. (looking out — aside) He wants to get the mitten again. Col J. Well, Dixon, I will tell you. You know that my wife has been dead about a year, and it is about time that I was getting another one. Now I could get almost any of the girls around — Pat. I guess that's so. Col J. But you see, I don't intend to stay in this place after I get mar- ried, but will go to some one of the cities to live, and I want a wife who eaa go out in society with me. Pat. Better take Mollie then. Col J. And I know that Bertha can do so. So I thought I would ask you what you thought about the matter. Dixon. Well Colonel, I don't know what cousin Bertha would think. The best way would be for you to call and see her, and find out lor yourself. Col J. Do you think that she will be at home this evening? Dixon. I think that she will. If you wish, I will tell her that you in- tend to call. Pat. (aside) I'll bet he'll never call again. Col J. Thank you, thank you, Dixon, you will oblige me greatly by so doing. Dixon. Very well, this evening then — but look out that you don't get stuck in the mud, it is fearfully muddy up our way. " (exit, r. Pat. Yis, hi had better stay at home. Col J. Woii now, I'll take a nap as I shall be up late to-night without doubt. Pat. Yis, an' if you ain't, you won't sleep much I'll bet. (Colonel Jackson lies down upon a lounge, and is soon asleep. Pat, {coming from closet) Be jabers, now is a good time for me to get out of this. S THE WID WER ' >S' TMIALJS. Watches the Colonel as he is edging towards door, stumbles over chairs and wakes htm. Col J. "What the deuce ! Who are you, and what are you doing here ? Fat. Bejabers 1 called hereon some very important business, but T saw you were asleep, an' so I thought that I would* tell it to Mollie an' let her tell it to you whin you woke up. Col J. Important busi'uess did you say? what important business have you, I'd like to k^iow. Pat. Share an' Mr. Dixon wanted rae to caH and te41 you that i«t was all right. Col J. Did he tell you what it was tliat was all right? Fat. He just Ba,id,tel'4 the Colonel that it is all right. Col J. All right my good fellow, here is a shilling for your trouble. Pat. Thank'ee sir. Thank'ee sir. (aside) . Be jabers I wonder if he thinks that will pay me for ail the trouble I've had. {exit, r. Col J. {rubbivg his hands in high glee) "Well, I guess I'm all right this time, Dixon has it all fix^ed up for me, and she is wiiiing or he never would have sent that fellow .to tell me it is all right. Oh, my fine girJs, you did me a great favor when you refused my offer. I shall now have a wife who can take the shine off from all of you. But I must make ready and away t^ the house of my future bride. {exit, l. CUKTAIN. ACT II. SCEl^E I. — Parlor at the residence of Mr. Morgan, Bertha seated upon sofa reading. Enter Dixon, b. Dixon. Well, Bertha, I have some splendid news for you, there is a gentle- man in the village, who wishes to be united to you in the holy bonds of matrimony, and is going to call this evening to see about the aiatter, and he wished me to ask you to be a't home. Bertha. Well, Charlie, I must say this is an unlocked for honor. Who is the gentleman, if I may inquire? Dixon. His name is Colonel Jackson. You know he lost his wife about a year ago, and he thinks you are just the person to fill the vacancy. Bertha. I feel very much flattered indeed. 1 wonder if he thinks that I am fool enough to marry a man who is old enough to be my grandfather? Dixon. I don't know, I'm sure, but it seems that he is going to find put any how. Bertha. Charlie, 1 want you to be in the room when he calls, and not leave it u>ntil he is gone. Dixon. Oh, you must get rid of him without any of my assistance. Bertha. What shall I do ? Why didn't you tell him that it would do him no good to call. Dixon. Because I did not know whether it would or not. . Bertha. You might have known. Oh, dear! Dixon. Well, Berfeha, if you do not wish to refuse him, you must keep him from asking, that is all I have to say. {exit, b. Bertha, {covers her face loith hands) Oh, dear, what shall I do, what shall [do! Enter Frank, l. Frank. What's the matter now, Bertha? THE WIDOWER'S TRIALS. 7 Bertha. Matter enough I should say. Colonel Jackson is going to call this evening. Frank. Well, I don't see what there is about that to make you feel bad. Bertha, (snappishly) Well I do if you don't ! Say Frank, you love your sister don't you? Frank. Why, of course I do. Bertha. And you n-ould help her out of trouble, if you could ? Frank. Why of course 1 would. Bertha. Well then, I want you to be in the room when Colonel Jackson calls, and not go out of it until he leaves. You will do that, won't you Frank? Frank. I guess so, if you want me to. Bertha, ytooks off, R.) There he comes now. Now you sit down there and don't you move until he goes. {Franks sits in chair— knock, R., Bertha goes to door Col J. Good evening, Miss Morgan. I understood that you were at home, and thought that I would call this evening, and — Bertha. Oh, certainly, certainly, Colonel Jackson. Fray be seated. Did you not find the walks very muddy? Col J, It is very muddy indeed, but I rode up in the hack, so you see I did not have it to contend with. Bertha. Oh yes, I see. Frank if you hear the hack when it goes back you must tell Mr. Jackson, for it would be too bad for him to be compelled to walk back through all this mud. Frank. All right. I'll listen for it. Col J. (dside) Confound that boy, I wonder if he will sit there all the evening, (aloud) J'rank, what is the matter with your neck? Frank. \'ve got a darned old carbuncle as big as your fisi. Bertha. Frank, you shouldn't say darned, it is not polite. Frank. I don't care, it hurts like thunder.' Bertha. Hurts very badly, you mean, Frank. Frank. No I don't. I mean it hurts like — Bertha. Frank! (to Odonel Jackson) Mr. Jackson, you must excuse Frank's impoliteness, he is very much out of humor this evening. Col J. (aside) You'd better send him to bed then, (aloud) Oh well, I suppose that cnrbunclea are not very pleasant things to have, and I don't know as I blame him. Frank. If you ever have one as big as mine, you'll think every time you move that your darned old head's com in' off. Bertha. Frank 1 You must not talk so, Frank. I don't care. He will — Col J. (aside) That's right, keep it up my boy, and your sister will send you out the first thing you know. Bertha. 1 understand, Colonel Jackson, that you have lost your wife, since I went away, and I must say, that you have my sympathy. Col J. (aside) She is all right, but confound that boy, why don't she send him out. {aloud) Miss Morgan, I am happy to'know that there is one, who sympathizes with me in my affliction. It was a hard blow to have my dear companion token away from me, and I don't know as I ever will get over it, I have been advised to get married again, but there are few, if any, who can fill the place of the departed. Bertha, (aside) I suppose I am one of them, (aloud) Oh, well, Colonel Jackson, perhaps you can find some one, who can make the remainder of your life happy. I hope so at least. Col J. (aside) Well, I must say that looks favorable, (aloud) Perhaps I can, but they are few indeed, {aside) I must get that boy out some way. (aloud) Frank, whore is your father ? Frank, Oh, he's out in the kitchen, makin' sausages. Col J. Won'*; you please tell him, I wish to see him before I g6? i THE WID WER 'S TRIALS. Frank. Oh, he said before you came, that he would come in as soon ftfl he got the sausage made. (JoLJ. Ob, very well, (aside) Is there no way to get rid of that boy? (aloud to Bertha) As I said before, there are fcAv who can fill her place. And then, there is no objection to my getting married again. I should not want to stay in this place, but would want to go to some one of the large cities to lire — you know, one can support a wife in good style, in the city upon twenty-five thousand dollars. Bertha, (aside) Oh, what an inducement I Frank, (aside) He ain't worth twenty-five cents, (aloud) Say Colonel Jackson, there's the hack a comin'. Col J. (afside) Confound that boy, confound him ! (aloud) Is it? I wonder where I left ray rubbers. (.0. ks around for them. Frank. There they are, upon the door mat. Col J. Oh, yes, so they are. (aside) Curse that boy. (puts on rubbers, and goes to door, n.) Well now, that is too bad — the hack has gone. Bertha. Oh, I'm so sorry, it is such bad walking, and you will be all tired out. Col J. (sitting down again) Well, I suppose that I will have to make the best of it. Mr. M. (looks in, h.) Colonel, you will have to excuse me, as I am very busy making sausage. Col J. Oh, certainly, certainly, I am doing very well as I am. (aside) If it wasn't for that infernal boy. Col J. (to Bertha) As I said before, there are very few who can fill my dead wife's place. In fact, I know of but one, and that one — Frank. . Oh, say, Bertha, won't you play 4.hat new waltz (or Colonel Jack- Bon? I know he would like to hear it. Bertha. Certainly, if he wishes me to. Col J. Indeed, Miss Morgan, I would be delighted to hear it., (aside) And I would be delighted to wring that boy's stiff neck for him. Bertha goes to organ and plays a lOaltz. Colonel Jackson looks savagely upon Frank. Frank. There Colonel, ain't that boss, would'nt you like to hear another 7 Col J. Very much indeed, Frank, but really it is so late that I must be going, (rises and takes hat) Good evening, Miss Morgan, perhaps I may call again before you go back. Bertha. Good evening, Mr. Jackson, I am very sorry you have so far to walk in the mud. Col J. Oh, I will live through it, never fear, (aside) Why don't she ask me to come again ? (boivs, and exit, e. Bcrthot Thank goodness he'fl gone, and he must not come again. (exit, Frank and Bertha, L., change to SCENE II.— Street, Enter Dixon, B., and Brown, l. Brown. Hallo, Dixon! (they shake hands) Have you heard the news ? ^ Dixon. No, I have heard of nothing so very wonderful. What might it be? Brown. Why, Colonel Jackson expects to receive an appointment as Gov- ernor of one of the Territories, and has gone to Washington to see about the matter. He has been gone for several days, and should be back by to- night or to-morrow I think. Dixon, (aside) Oh, Bertha, Bertha, what have you lost ! (aloud) Utah I suppose where it is not such hard work to get a wife. Brown. Ha, ha, Dixon, I had not thought of that, but I guess that "you've hit it just about right, for they say that he's tried all the girls in town*. TEE WIDOWER'S TRIALS. $ Dixon. Yes, poor fellow 1 I can't help feeling sorry for him. Enter Fat, b. Pat. Shure Mr. Dixon, an' there's goin' to be a big time at the Colonel's house this evening. Dixon. Why Pat, what is going on? Pat. Faith an' the Colonel's comin' home, an' is goin' to bring a wife wid him, an' the foiks are goin' to give him an inception. Dixon, Reception you mean, Pat. Pat. Well, it is somethin' of the kind, an' everybody is invited, {exit, L. Dixon. Well, Brown, 1 guess we will have to attend. Brown. Oh, yes, we will have to go of course. 1 am very anxious to see the bride, in fact I am always anxious to see handsome young ladies you know, and the Colonel wouldn't get any other kind for a wife. Dixon. Well then I will meet you there, so for the present, adieu. {exit. Brown, L., and Dixon, a., change to SCENE III.— Parlor in Colonel Jackson's residence Dixon and Emma Watkins seated, b., Brovjn and Bertha Morgan l., Frank, c, others seated talking. Dixon, {looking at toatch) Half past eight, surely the train must be in by this lime. Brown. It should have been here a half an hour ago. Frank. What was that? I heard some one drive up. {runs to door) It's them. They've come. Brown. I wonder if she's handsome. Dixon. Brown, that is all you think of. Brown. Oh. ])8haw, Dixon, I very ofier think of other things, still I will confess that there is nothing I so admire as a beautiful young lady. Frank. By thunder she's got a littl§ girl, he's married a whole family, I guess. Bertha. Perhaps its her sister, Frank. Now do go and sit down. Frank. I shan't do it, I liave got just as good a right here as you have, and I'm goin' to do just as 1 please. Enter Colonel Jackson, b., with wife and little girl, followed by Pat and Mol- lie — all rise. Dixon, {shaking hands with CUo>iel) Colonel Jnekson we welcome your- self and wife, and wish you a life of happiuessand peace. Colonel introduces his wife and shakes hands with all except Frank Col J. Kind friends, this warm welcome was wholly unexpected, and I hardly know how to thank you. Brown. Never mind the thanks, Colonel, we don't ask them. Pat. {asioe) Unexpected did he say? Be jabers an' the old sinner wrote to Mollie to ax 'em to come. Frank. Look here Colonel, I guess you didn't see me. Give us a shake of your paw. Col J. {aside) That devilish b«>y again, {aloud) Well, well, Frank, I ilid not notice you, how do you do ? {shakes hands Frank. First rate Colonel, the next time you want me to go out of the room, I'll just skip. Col. J. Never mind Frank, we won't talk about that now. Frank. It was all right anyhow, wasn't it Colonel, {pokes him in the ribs— to audience) It is with you, is it not kind friends, and if any of you should happen to be afflicted with boils, please to remember that Go where you will. Carbuncles and biles, Are nothing at all. To a WIDOWER'S TRIALS, CURTAIN. THE LATEST NEW PLAY JUST ISSUED AND NOW READY. PKICE 25 CENTS. HAL HAZARD. OR THE FEDERAL SPY ! A Military Drama of the late war of the Rebellion, in four acts, by Fred G. Andrews This drama is a sjreat success, And is piibllsbecl now for the first time, from the author's oricjinal manuscript. There has been a de- mand for a play wliich could be used by Grand Army Posts, Mili- tary Companies, etc., which would be effective, and yet not difficult to represent. This want Hal Hazard will supply. It has eight male characters and three fcmnle. A few soldiers, both U. S. and C. S., may be used, but there is no elaborate drills or difiicult stage business to try the patience of the manager. It takes from 1% to 2 hours to present it. The leading character is a double one. "George Clarendon," who assumes the character of "Old Hal," a very deaf and shrewd old man, who is equally at home in the Confederate or Federal Camp. As the Spy he is always on hand at the j)roper time, and always comes out ahead in all places where his services are needed. The other characters are all good, consisting of a Captain and Lieu- tenant in the U. S. Army, and four Confederates. Generals Sher- man, Stoneman