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Consular Reminiscences. 
 
 BY 
 
 G. HENRY HORSTMANN, 
 
 Late United States Consul at Munich (July, 1869, to December, 1880), and 
 United States Consul at Nubembebq (Decembeb, 1880, to April, 1885). 
 
 f 
 
 p 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY. 
 
 1886. 
 
-% 
 
 
 Copyright, 1886, by G. Henry Horstmann. 
 
 <1[. ftf<LOT YPLI^anoPRinT^sI^ 
 
TO THE 
 (say, in round numbers) 
 
 50,000,000 
 INHABITANTS OF OUR COUNTRY 
 
 WHOSE SERVANT 
 
 I HAD THE HONOR TO BE, 
 
 THESE PAGES 
 ARE LOVINGLY DEDICATED. 
 
co:ntents. 
 
 CHAPTEK I. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Introduction — Recollections of a magazine article — Anonymity use- 
 less — All incidents related, actual occurrences — Connected narra- 
 tive not to be expected — What is a consul, at any rate ? — Duties 
 of a consul — Bright sides of a consular career — Every business has 
 charms — Pay of consuls — Working for others — Poetry in every 
 occupation of life — The poor cobbler — The grocer's boy — " From 
 Greenland's icy mountains" — The field of the consul gives full 
 scope to the imagination — Destination of goods sent from con- 
 sulate — Paris kid gloves — Diamonds — Gold and fancy paper — 
 Bronze powder — Works of art — Poeta Nascitur — Mr. O'Sweeney, 
 ** The top av the morning'* — Assisting fellow-citizens in trouble — 
 Loss of gold bracelet — Loss of diamond ring — Stolen jewelry 
 of a lady : police station — Order for a picture : price not right — 
 Lady's photograph : a perfect fright — Trunks that had been sold 
 — Threatening to write about imposition in all the newspapers — 
 Row with Italian courier — Quarrels about apartments — Cursory 
 note from a lady — One lady used a decoy (price of coals) . . 1 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Authenticating invoices — Consul to know the price of everything — 
 Notarial business — Executing the first commission — Reports to 
 Department of State — Reports to Treasury Department — Reports 
 to appraisers — General reports — At seaport places still more to 
 write on — Saluting consul by squadron — Circulars from Depart- 
 ment — Mrs. Pardiggle — Like school compositions — Rinderpest, 
 and report on the same — The story of two wild Indians . . 24 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Bamums abroad — Zulu chieftain — Bedouin trapeze artist — Ameri- 
 can Hercules — Egyptians with learned frogs — Colonel Sellers — 
 Complaints of minister to Spain — Multifarious correspondence — 
 Inquiries in regard to Munich — Man who practises animal mag- 
 netism — Prices of living in various Gorman cities — Labor, wages, 
 and condition of working class — Artificial breeding of fish — To- 
 bacco — Wants to be made a member of Statistical Society — Hops 
 — Bread — Telegraphs — Railroads — Railroad brakes — Oiling ciir- 
 wheels — Fire departments — Sugar-refineries — Nickel-plating — 
 
 V 
 
Vi CONTENTS, 
 
 Audience of the king : does he speak English — Ladies attending 
 court ball — Newspapers in Bavaria — Statistics of mortality — 
 Slaughter-houses — Selling lands in United States — To write art 
 articles for newspapers — Preserved milk — Categorical questions — 
 Fire-extinguishers — Platform scales — Lithographic stones — Quar- 
 ries at Soluhofen — Opening for improved coflBns — Drunkenness — 
 Where to hire a piano — Where to buy a parasol — Where to get 
 milk from ** one cow" .60 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Something about fiddles — How many fiddles in the United States — 
 Mittenwald — Jacob Stainer — Andreas Hofer and Stainer — Mat- 
 thias Klotz — Neuner <fe Hornsteiner, Baader & Co. — Difference in 
 build of violins — Origin of the violin — Zithers — Concert at Mit- 
 tenwald — " Isar rolling rapidly" 60 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Descriptions of person on passports — Noses described on passports, 
 oblong — Costume of a sculpturing woman — Wanting to make a 
 bust of the king — Consul to write to the king — Kaulbach and 
 Achenbach, how pronounced — Consuls* titles — Jokes on consul's 
 title — Contents of letters, funny — Samples of German-English let- 
 ters — Queer titles and headings in German letters — Pasting holy 
 pictures in letters — Begging letters — Long letters about nothing 
 from Americans — A rounded letter, fish-hooks — The consul a little 
 postmaster — Telegrams coming at all times of the night — " Try 
 Munich" — Dead letters — Startling letter, " I have to be executed 
 here to-morrow" 74 
 
 CHAPTER YI. 
 
 The guillotine — Hanging — Best method of inflicting capital punish- 
 ment — Last execution by sword in Munich — Public execution by 
 guillotine — History of the guillotine — Plea for other method than 
 hanging — Executions should not be public — Can a clergyman vote 
 or hold office? — "I was ever of opinion :" subject of a bet — A 
 letter of Washington — Two Barons Washington living in Bavaria 
 — Washington's letter — James Washington — Our flag : its origin 
 — Our flag : when displayed — Our flag has further uses : Fourth 
 of July speeches 87 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Consul like the American eagle — American eagle : its origin — Our 
 arms — Eagle on the coinage — What our eagle looks like — Consular 
 arms furnished by the Department — President of Ornithological 
 Society — Sign of a poultry dealer — The " Adlerwirth" — State 
 arms — Hunting up family arms — Hunting up genealogies — Smith 
 family — Hunting up lost trunks — So many lost trunks — Two 
 American ladies lose trunks — Railroad director loses trunks — 
 Wants to sue the company — Trunks at forwarding agent's — Want- 
 ing consul to call on Sunday — Cases where consul must go to par- 
 
CONTENTS. vii 
 
 ties — Attacking the consul at the opera — Engaging rooms — Meet- 
 ing lady with baby and nurse — Travelling companions for ladies 
 — §uch requests not«from acquaintances — Consul to bargain for a 
 painting — Newspapers received in a torn state — Work on Faust : 
 no old fogy — Bill of glassware : where's the punch-bowl? — Consul 
 to collect debts — Young Americans not writing home — To hunt up 
 a sister — Wanting situations as clerks, etc. — Wanted, an artist to 
 show strangers around the galleries — Tramps — Free railroad 
 tickets — Tickets to New York, to Milan — Shooting the judge at 
 Thulba — Violent sailor — French woman with baby — Parties com- 
 ing in the evening to private lodging — Even tramps not the most 
 formidable people — Making a living time-table of the consul — 
 Armed with a circular letter of introduction — Putting one's 
 knowledge of geography to the test — Which is the best route to 
 Suez ? — First class from Munich to Verona — When do trains leave 
 Munich for Paris ? .99 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Man with a balloon — Guardian and trustee for fatherless children — 
 Not much luck in this respect — Chapman and Butler, arrest and 
 trial — Lady in prison for debt 112 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A sweet subject — Sucking liquorice — Characteristics of the German 
 — Essay on liquorice-culture in Bamberg — Bothersome to ask 
 questions in Germany — Handshaking of German-Americans — 
 Wanting to show off their English — " Hats off in front" — Ameri- 
 can manners — American tailor, so called — Man in the office keep- 
 ing his hat on — One more case of the above — Professor of art 
 school — How to manage an art school — Royal State Library at 
 Munich — Lending books and manuscripts — Deaths of Americans 
 — Suicides — Student making diagram of his brain — Franklin 
 Webster — To look after graves of Americans — Curious affection of 
 the mind in sorrow — ** Is that grave as deep as usual ?" — Talking 
 politics on leaving the cemetery 126 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 The cemetery at Munich — Making the acquaintance of the dead — 
 How the corpses are handled — Ring and bell attachment — Beau- 
 tiful monuments — The first monument — A ghost story — Sending 
 a corpse home — The right man in the right place — ^^Is Dr. 
 Leberfleck more for the kidneys ?" etc 135 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Not knowing who people are — The lady and the bum-bailiff — Royal 
 bronze foundry ; business there — Information sought on art mat- 
 ters — Casts of iEgina marbles — Stained-glass windows — Iron rail- 
 ing for church — Measuring picture-frames — Bequest for photo- 
 graphs of buildings — Request for photographs of Kaulliaoh's 
 
Viii CONTENTS. 
 
 PAQE 
 
 drawings — Exact copy of photograph on porcelain — Pictures of 
 old masters for sale — Requests for postage-stamps — Our newspa- 
 pers instruct the people — " Lick, brothers, lick, oh, lick with care" 
 — Franco-German war — Terrified lady and the flag — Letters : is it 
 safe to be in Munich ? — Forlorn situation of group of ladies — Treat- 
 ment of French prisoners — Return of troops; banquet — Trial of 
 two Irish ladies for insulting a corporal 148 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Homesickness — Good square breakfast — Consul not allowed to marry 
 parties — Lunatic setting his room on fire — Once an Englishman 
 always an Englishman — Our common law based on English law — 
 Right of expatriation — Few Americans become subjects of other 
 countries — Foreigners received as American citizens — Naturalized 
 citizens returning to their native country — Our naturalization 
 treaties — Bancroft's merits — Treaty with England — Bancroft cen- 
 sured by Department of State — The Bavarian protocol — Mild rule 
 in practice — Bavaria holds firmly to treaty — Minister must decide 
 a man's nationality — Talk of withdrawing from the treaty — Ger- 
 mans the most cosmopolitan of people — No chance of getting a 
 better treaty — Chief flaw in our treaty — Bavaria made a mess of 
 it — A returned Bavarian neither one thing nor the other — Case 
 of such a man dying — Naturalized citizens to enjoy the same rights 
 as native citizens — Circular from the Legation — Naturalized Ger- 
 man having no passport nor citizenship paper not to make ap- 
 plication 163 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Caught by a letter-box — Stehhalbe — Suspicion of passing counter- 
 feit money — American swindlers — The circus-rider — Telegram, 
 ** look out for swindler" — Telegram : lady swindler — Doctor of 
 medicine-swindler — Anthony Sharp — Warlike tailor — Books with 
 begging letters — Insurance companies — Schools and academies; 
 references — American dentists — The flute — Boehni and the Boehm 
 flute — Requests for music — Munich a musical city — International 
 Peace Jubilee — Showing a friend around the city — Which is the 
 gem of the collection ? — What kind of grease do they use for car- 
 axles in this country? — General Grant in Munich — Circular of 
 Department of State — " Put money in thy purse" — Preparations 
 made at Munich — Description of personal appearance — Visit to 
 court brewery — Letters of introduction — State Department letters 
 of introduction — Circular in regard to letters of introduction — 
 Very mean people in the world — Sending Confederate notes to rela- 
 tives, etc. — *' I haven't brass enough for that" .... 182 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 The Passion play at Oberammergau — Interviewed as to my opinions 
 of the play — Performance at New York prohibited — Origin of the 
 play — Loss of originality — Successive alterations and improve- 
 ments — Specimen of the old text — Reforms — The performers — Ed- 
 
CONTENTS, 
 
 IZ 
 
 ward Devrient's book — The representatives of the characters — 
 Morality of the Ammergauers — A village brawl (note) — Opinions 
 of English and Americans — The acting — Quotations from Devri- 
 ent's book — The effect produced upon us — The mind prepared for 
 the play — Effect on devout Catholics — The stage — The absence of 
 something — Dialect — Lodgings with the thief — The little child 
 actress — Why do people say **Christus"? — Meeting Christ in the 
 cars — Personal appearance of Maier — Eating curds and whey 
 with mustard — An Americanism : " I cannot enthuse" — " He talks 
 like an Englishman" 203 
 
 CHAPTER Xy. 
 
 Difference between English and American — Lies mostly in the tone 
 of the voice — Voices of American women — **A bad workman 
 quarrels with his tools" — School-girls* French — German coming 
 into fashion — Clumsy German words — Faults of both languages 
 equally balanced — Want of expressive English words — Want of 
 genders to our nouns — The German diminutive — Germinant qual- 
 ities of German language — Long words — French technical words 
 — Use of titles — Full title to be used in Reuss-Schleiz, etc. — Fel- 
 low from Arcadia learning four languages — Hospital wanting pay 
 for an American — Consul's answer to the letters — Liberality of 
 our government and people — Collections in Munich for Chicago 
 suffereid — United States pensioners abroad 221 
 
 CHAPTER XYI. 
 
 Rows among young Americans abroad — Good character of Americans 
 in Munich — Spree : " You are one jackass" — Row with soldiers : 
 pouring beer on them — Strangers aggrieved by decision of courts 
 — King Ludwig the Second — Scandals — Eccentric ways and doings 
 — King a musical enthusiast — Duties of present kings — Cost of 
 keeping a king — Not showing himself to the public — King's strict 
 education — Influence of Wagner's operas — The public to keep out 
 of the king's way — Trap-door arrangement with dining-table— 
 Counsellor reading behind a screen — Mr. Maynard : " will I see 
 the king?" — The king in the theatre — Separate performances — 
 Row at the OcT^on ; concert — Fire apparatus at theatre — Real rain 
 — His veneration of Louis XV. — Copy of Versailles — Coming to 
 and leaving Munich at night — The winter garden — Opera singer 
 falling into the lake — Fond of riding in his youth — The wild horses 
 of Macbeth — In the riding-school — Hunting-lodges in the moun- 
 tains — Princely chambers on the mountain pass — Mimic stage — 
 Moon out of order — Are all these things true ? — Character of the 
 king 231 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Ludwig the First — The maker of modern Munich — Lola Montez — 
 Her house in the Barer Strasse — History of Lola — First appear- 
 ance in Munich — Title of nobility — Personal appearance — Her 
 portrait — Her ambition — The students — Stabbing scene — Order to 
 
X CONTENTS. 
 
 P1.0B 
 
 close the university— Affairs on the 10th of February— The stu- 
 dents ordered to leave Munich — Police attack at the Academy 
 — Resolutions of the citizens — Audience of the king — Students 
 declare they will not leave the city — Demonstrations against the 
 bouse of Lola — Affairs on the 11th of February — Concessions of 
 the king — Lola ordered to leave town — Arrival of the king — Lola 
 tries to get back to the palace — Abdication of the king — Lola's 
 subsequent career and death — King Ludwig after his abdication — 
 His jealousy of Maximilian — His free and easy manners — His 
 witticisms at a concert 252 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 The Centennial Fourth of July — Our mode of celebrating Fourth of 
 July — The Centennial — Art of decorating by Munich artists — 
 Paris Exhibition of ] 867 — Nothing but flags — Flowers — Decora- 
 tions at Hotel Detzer — The speeches — Conclusion of the celebration 
 — American Artists' Club — Conundrums — Puns and sayings . 267 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 Art — Circular from Department of State — Results of the circular — The 
 reports published by the Department — Deluge of letters to consuls 
 — My report — To take off all duty on works of art — Despatch of 
 April 12, 1878 — American goods being slowly introduced — Amer- 
 ican toys in Bavaria — Our tools — American versus German ham- 
 mers — Characteristics of our productions — Our weakness in at- 
 tempts to decorate — Definition of ornament — Ornamentation of the 
 hair — Helps to nature — Ornament must express a function — Its 
 laws must be studied — Inborn feeling for art in the American — 
 Our ships, carriages, etc. — Art forms in common implements — 
 What art form in a machine? — Flowers and weeds — The intent to 
 ornament and decorate — We do not know what originality means 
 — Schools for teaching art — Art must be seriously studied — One 
 step our government can take — Take off duty on works of art — 
 Facilities for seeing works of art facilitate art — Art must be made 
 more popular — Our tariff is for protection — Artists in different 
 lines not equally protected — Artists not pecuniarily benefited — 
 Americans will not buy foreign landscapes — We cannot have gal- 
 leries of old masters — Are musicians and authors protected? — 
 Where and when Americans purchase — Importation of foreign art 
 works will increase — American artists will sell better — New tariff 
 bill of March 3, 1883 — Protests from American artists — Americans 
 at Munich Academy — Number of prizes 283 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 Traveller putting his watch in holy water holder — English notions 
 of rank — Bavarian holidays — Ride to Nymphenburg; people re- 
 storing themselves — Trinkgeld — German cities celebrated for 
 something in the eating or drinking line 312 
 
CONTENTS, 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 PAOB 
 
 Beer: introductory — Beer-drinking must be begun in infancy — 
 American ideas of beer-drinking — How the German drinks — 
 American perfecting himself in beer-drinking — No humbug in the 
 measure of beer — The initials on the mugs — Origin of beer — His- 
 tory of beer — Meaning of the word beer — Approach of spring — 
 Bock — Radishes — History of bock — Salvator beer — Breweries in 
 Munich — Consumption of beer — Consumption of beer in Munich — 
 But little drunkenness — Teetotal ideas in America — Percentage 
 of alcohol in Bavarian beer — Process of making beer — Laws in 
 regard to brewing — Taxes on beer — Salaries of brewers . . 322 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 Character of the Bavarians — Fault-finders — Munich beggars — People 
 asking for loans — The old Leipsic woman — Sandy-haired man 
 wanting forty florins — American artist slouches — Directory of 
 America — " I can prove that I am myself" — Fifty years behind 
 the time — Consular speeches — Bribing ...... 345 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 Closet skeletons — Politeness of King Maximilian — Artists* balls — 
 American keeping his hat on — "Crossing" — Count Rumford — A 
 corner in wheat — Health of Munich — Murray's handbook of South 
 Germany — An ominous paragraph — Letter of Dr. Frank to Mr. 
 Murray — Extracts from Dr. Frank's letter — Death-rate of various 
 cities — Death-rate of Munich — Explaining the above — Mortality 
 of young children — Causes of the above — The marriage laws — 
 Baby-farmers — Making deductions — Munich as healthy as most 
 large cities — The typhus — The cholera — The year 1854 in Munich 
 — The epidemic of 1873 and 1874 — Cholera in American cities — 
 First death from cholera, an American — Death of Kaulbach — 
 Fears of the cholera — Former condition of Munich — The soil of 
 Munich — The water-supply — Improvements in Munich — Climate 
 of Munich — How to dress — Rain — Sundry diseases . . . 355 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 Diplomacy — Quarrel between circus man and wife — Circus people's 
 business with consul — No permission to perform — Japanese acro- 
 bats — Uses of the Odeon — Yankee girl and Richard Wagner — 
 " Oh, hell" — Stretching conscience — Boy with talent for art and 
 music — The dying man and his obliging friend .... 382 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 Our consular system — Voting for Sheneral Shackson — To the victor 
 belong the spoils — Foreign opinion of our system — The office 
 must bo a necessity — Appointing applicants — Rush of office-seek- 
 ers — Anecdote of Hendricks — Public business suflfers through con- 
 
xii CONTENTS. 
 
 sular changes — Changes abroad still more inconvenient — Reform 
 not to go the other extreme — Foreign bureaucracy — Public ser- 
 vants to be controlled — Becoming disamericanized — Supervising 
 officers for consulates — Complaints against consuls — Investigating 
 consulates — Examinations — Young men specially trained — Con- 
 suls must speak language of the country — Commerical men to be 
 appointed — Ideas of what a consul has to do — The consular corps 
 —Salaries — Payments not justly distributed — Furniture, cleaning, 
 lighting, and heating — Pay to vice-consuls — Gentleman not satis- 
 fied with servant — Lady not satisfied with servant — Clerks — 
 Consul should not be allowed to transact business — Is the consul 
 satisfied with the Department? — More intimate connection between 
 the consul and the Department — Consular reports — Delegation of 
 tailors — Fireproof material — Uncertainty of tenure of office — 
 Consul often a figure-head — Finding nothing but vice-consuls 
 — Sword of Damocles — Conclusion 398 
 
CONSULAR REMINISCENCES. 
 
 CHAPTEE I. 
 
 Introduction — Recollections of a magazine article — Anonymity useless 
 — All incidents related, actual occurrences — Connected narrative not 
 to be expected — What is a consul, at any rate ? — Duties of a consul 
 — Bright sides of a consular career — Every business has charms 
 — Pay of consuls — Working for others — Poetry in every occupation 
 of life — The poor cobbler — The grocer's boy — " From Greenland's 
 icy mountains" — The field of the consul gives full scope to the imagi- 
 nation — Destination of goods sent from consulate — Paris kid gloves 
 — Diamonds — Gold and fancy paper — Bronze powder — Works of art 
 — Poeta Nascitur — Mr. O'Sweeney, " The top av the morning" — As- 
 sisting fellow-citizens in trouble — Loss of gold bracelet — Loss of 
 diamond ring — Stolen jewelry of a lady : police station — Order for 
 a picture: price not right — Lady's photograph: a perfect fright — 
 Trunks that had been sold — Threatening to write about imposition in 
 all the newspapers — Row with Italian courier— Quarrels about apart- 
 ments — Cursory note from a lady — One lady used a decoy (price of 
 coals). 
 
 " Julius Caesar was a consul, Napoleon the first was 
 a consul, and so was I." 
 
 That is the way in which I should certainly have 
 commenced my book, had not somebody else got ahead 
 of me, and used the very words above as introductory 
 to an article relating to his consular experiences. 
 
 I remember reading, many years ago, in one of our 
 magazines, a very humorous paper written by one who 
 had accepted a post as United States consul at some 
 little place on the Mediterranean, and I thought the 
 way in which he launched into his subject was par- 
 ticularly felicitous. The words have not escaped my 
 memory. I do not know who the author wan. llo 
 commenced by describing his feelings of pride upon 
 receiving the weighty papers from the State Depart- 
 
 1 1 
 
2 A MAGAZINE ARTICLE. 
 
 ment, bearing the ofiScial seal, and which notified him 
 of his appointment to , and containing the pre- 
 liminary instructions for his guidance. He tells how 
 he made his preparations for the journey, what adven- 
 tures befell him on the road, and how the reality of 
 the situation struck him upon arriving at his post, 
 compared with the bright pictures he had drawn of it 
 in his imagination. He tried not to show the secret 
 pride that was budding at his heart when he saw his 
 name in the newspapers among the presidential ap- 
 pointments. He tried hard not to look down upon men 
 who were not consuls, nor to appear snobbish under the 
 weight of the honor that had been heaped upon him. 
 He drew up glowing plans of how he was going to 
 enlarge the sphere of his usefulness when he got to 
 the appointed place and was fully in harness ; how he 
 was going to icork ; for he had heard that most consuls 
 regarded their office as a mere sinecure, — that they 
 pocketed their immense earnings, and did nothing in 
 return but go out to dinner-parties. He was conscien- 
 tious, however, and was determined that the govern- 
 ment which had loaded him with gold and with 
 honors should receive a full equivalent therefor in his 
 labor, his assiduit}^ and in the manner in which he 
 would uphold the glory of the American nation along 
 the classic shores of the land to which he had been 
 accredited. He was big with good intentions, and no 
 new broom that was ever made was to sweep half so 
 clean as the reforms that he was going to introduce. 
 He had given his bond 'Mn a penal sum of dol- 
 lars" that he would *' truly and faithfully discharge the 
 duties of his said office according to law, and that he 
 would truly and faithfully account for, pay over, and 
 deliver up all moneys, goods, effects, books, records, 
 papei-s, and other property which should come to his 
 hands or to the hands of any person for his use as such 
 consul, under any law now or hereafter enacted, and 
 that he would truly and faithfully perform all other 
 duties now or hereafter lawfully imposed upon him as 
 such consul, etc., etc." He had, moreover, taken a 
 solemn oath that he would "support, protect, and de- 
 
ACTUAL OCCURRENCES. 3 
 
 fend the Constitution and government of the United 
 States against all enemies, whether domestic or foreign, 
 etc. etc.," and that he would be true to his trust — " so 
 help him God." He therefore felt that the United 
 States had a good right to expect vigilance, industry, 
 ability, and integrity on his part. 
 
 The writer then goes on to describe what he really 
 found on arriving at his post ; what difficulties he had 
 with the local police authorities before he could take 
 possession of the office ; how a few limp books, a torn 
 flag, a very ragged coat of arms, and a broken stool 
 formed the consular property, for the safe delivery of 
 which he had given his bond for so and so many thou- 
 sand dollars; how he waited for business and none 
 came, and how, at last, after lingering at his post for a 
 few months, and rotting there, he resigned, — renouncing 
 all claims to the emoluments of office, the glory of the 
 position, and the honor which his country had thrust 
 upon hinl. 
 
 I will not go on further in allusions to that magazine 
 article; it has served me for an introduction to my 
 own book, and in writing a book, — as in life, — one of 
 the great difficulties is to get a fair start. 
 
 But it has also done more than that : it has made 
 me calculate that if a man who was consul for only a 
 few months could have so much to tell, the material 
 that accumulates during sixteen years of office may 
 guarantee a more extended venture in the form of a 
 narrative, which may, perhaps, not be entirely devoid 
 of general interest. 
 
 It would not only be useless, but it would be quite 
 contrary to my object to attempt anonymity. Every 
 description or allusion to places or scenes would, if 
 successful, at once locate the same, and I should feel 
 sorry if such were not the case ; besides, the incidents 
 related are all actual occurrences. Everything that 
 struck me as important, peculiar, curious, or humorous 
 I took a note of at the time. On commencing tiieso 
 pages many things that have taken phice during my 
 consular career had been nearly forgotten by me in 
 the course of the years that are so last flying by, but 
 
4 CONNECTED NARRATIVE NOT EXPECTED. 
 
 now, raking them out from the lumber of the past, they 
 seem fresh to me, and they clothe themselves with the 
 associations of the times when they occurred. It is 
 like rummaging in a garret to which has been con- 
 signed all the rubbish that we had no further use for, 
 or at least, no immediate use, and which was thrown 
 there to get it out of the way, and which has been ac- 
 cumulating there for years. In our casual visits to 
 fling something more upon the pile we only see what 
 is nearest to us in the heterogeneous mass, — what is 
 on top and in front covers up what is beneath and be- 
 hind ; but when we come to a general ransacking, how 
 often do we come across a piece that we had not 
 thought of for years, — that we had forgotten the very 
 existence of: it may be only a broken and useless piece 
 of furniture, a toy, a battered household utensil, and 
 3'^et it awakens pleasurable or sad sensations as our 
 mind reverts to the time when it was in use, and when, 
 perhaps, it was valued, — for it calls up a train of asso- 
 ciations of persons and scenes and circumstances which 
 passing years had covered with a thick veil like the 
 long settling dust that had covered the articles them- 
 selves. 
 
 It is well to say in the beginning, that in writing to- 
 gether my experiences with the observations that they 
 naturally lead to, a very connected narrative cannot 
 be expected. The business, indeed, of a consul is so 
 varied, that a single day often forces him to take into 
 serious consideration subjects that are as remote from 
 each other as the poles. Nobody but a consul can 
 have an idea of the varied wants of our government in 
 all its departments, of the wants of States, cities, cor- 
 porations, and individuals at home, of the people in the 
 country where he is located, and above all, of tbe wants 
 of that free, roving, money-scattering and railroad- 
 patronizing crowd — our countrymen abroad. The long 
 columns of " wants" in any one of our daily papers are 
 insignificant as compared with the endless string of de- 
 sires for information, advice, assistance, enlightenment, 
 protection, and relief which is tugged in at the consular 
 door; every knock brings a new subject for the con- 
 
DUTIES OF A CONSUL. 6 
 
 sideration of the consular brain. Without attempting 
 any connection in the matter of the paragraphs, there- 
 fore, let the blank lines between them represent the ac- 
 customed three knocks at the door which keep the 
 consul perpetually on edge, shouting — " herein !'* * — all 
 day long. 
 
 One of the many questions often put to me in various 
 forms — sometimes abruptly put, and sometimes politely 
 disguised, or flowered over with the ornaments of 
 speech, but always implying that the parties really 
 " wanted to know, you know" — was, "What is a consul, 
 at any rate, and what has he got to do?" 
 
 There is, perhaps, no better place to enlighten the 
 minds of such people, and to give a general answer to 
 the question, than in this introductory chapter; and, 
 for fear I might give it too modestly, I will use the 
 words of the Consular Manual, which, in reverting to 
 some expressions of Talleyrand on the subject of con- 
 suls, says, "Many of the consular duties arise from 
 peculiar circumstances, such as the character and habits 
 of the nation in which the consul resides, its laws and 
 customs, and the nature of its intercourse with the 
 United States. In the most restricted sense, they are 
 important and multifarious, are quite difl^erent from 
 those of other officers employed in foreign affairs, and 
 require for their proper performance an amount of 
 practical information for which the consul needs a 
 special training. Consuls are often so situated as to 
 exercise towards their countrymen within their con- 
 sular jurisdiction the duties of judges, arbiters, and 
 peacemakers; they are the registers of marriages, 
 births, and deaths; they act as notaries, and sometimes 
 as revenue officers; they watch over and verify the 
 sanitary condition of their consulates ; and, through 
 their social and official relations, they are able to obtain 
 a full and accurate knowledge of the commerce, navi- 
 gation, and industry peculiar to the country of their 
 residence." 
 
 The duties specially imposed upon consuls, as given 
 
 * Come in ! 
 1* 
 
6 DUTIES OF A CONSUL. 
 
 at length in the Consular Eegulations, are too many, 
 and would take up too much space in their enumera- 
 tion for the present purpose. Suffice it to say, that in- 
 dependent of the technical instructions contained in 
 the volume, it tells of hundreds of things that a consul 
 ought to do, and of hundreds of other things again that 
 he ought not to do. Perhaps in the perusal of these 
 pages the reader will get an insight into many of the 
 matters which come within the field of a consul's 
 labors. 
 
 But if the prescribed and intimated duties of a con- 
 sul as set down in the Consular Regulations and the 
 numerous circulars that are sent to him by the State 
 Department as supplementary instructions are un- 
 countable as the stars that twinkle above us, how in- 
 finite is the sphere of supposed duties and obligations 
 which our countrymen and countrywomen abroad con- 
 fidingly surround their "official representative'' with! 
 The confidence they place in his unlimited knowledge 
 and power and influence is certainly flattering. A man 
 never knows how much he really does know until he is 
 put upon his mettle, and a considerate public gives us 
 plenty of opportunity to show off in this respect. Some 
 of the questions and wants of callers at the consulate 
 are amusing from their very naivete, or are interesting 
 from the strangeness of the subjects they touch on, 
 and they can easily be condoned for the sake of their 
 variety; but one is often pestered by people who apply 
 to a consul for information, only because they are too 
 indolent to hunt it up for themselves; many, through 
 mere ennui, which no amount of sight-seeing can dis- 
 sipate, come to lay their petty grievances before the 
 consul because they can thereby pass a half-hour very 
 pleasantly — to themselves — in conversation. One very 
 ingenuous man was kind enough to tell me that 
 wherever he went he hunted up consuls, only to have 
 a chance to "chat in a Christian lingo, for he couldn't 
 understand a word of these infernal foreigners." 
 
 It is not only our conversational powers that are 
 taxed by such people, but they often expect us to act 
 for them in many ways, which, to say the least, do 
 
BRIGHT SIDES OF CONSULAR CAREER, 7 
 
 not come within the scope of legitimate business; 
 thay are bold robbers besides, for if one of our favorite 
 proverbs is true, — that time is money, — they are actually 
 gnawing at the consul's purse. 
 
 But the consular career has its bright sides too, and 
 many of them : the recollections of transactions done, 
 of business performed, of incidents met with, and of 
 persons with whom I have been brought into contact, 
 are, most of them, to me very pleasant ones. How 
 many occasions are here presented for making interest- 
 ing acquaintances, for forming warm friendships, and 
 for meeting with curious characters! The variety of 
 the duties falling to the province of a consul, the variety 
 of the subjects on which he is consulted, and the variety 
 of the interests of those whom he meets or corresponds 
 with, open up to him new avenues of thought; he 
 hears original opinions and gains instructive informa- 
 tion. From intelligent travellers who have their eyes 
 open to all around them ho hears comparisons made 
 between people and things in our country with those of 
 others, which, if not always just, have all the charm 
 of freshness. From the conversations and explanations 
 of persons who have devoted themselves to specialties 
 in the various branches of science, literature, and art 
 he gets an insight into many things that were perfect 
 mysteries to him before. One is led into new channels 
 of observation, and in making the desired explorations 
 for others in some strange subject, one gets deeply 
 interested himself; and in learnihg of so many things 
 that are new to us, we see fresh paths opening out to 
 us which we have a desire to follow still farther for our 
 own sakes. 
 
 Thus there is always a healthy change for the mind, 
 and the routine of a consul is not a dull, monotonous 
 one like that of many another business course. 
 
 But every business, to him who conscientiously at- 
 tends to it, has its charms, and is lull of interest, llow, 
 otherwise, could men — educated men — find such absorb- 
 ing pleasure in poring over the pages of their counting- 
 house books, which, truly, have for them more fascina- 
 tion than the most stirrinir romance. The one is the 
 
8 PAY OF CONSULS. 
 
 real story of their life, their actions, their struggles, 
 their progress : recording, day by day and step by step, 
 the affairs which make up the sum of their material 
 existence, the registers of loss and gain, the accumu- 
 lation of practical experience, and the trustworthy nar- 
 rative of results which sway and determine the posi- 
 tion they are to hold on the real stage of the world ; 
 while the other is but the phantasmagoria of lifeless 
 figures and passions that we can close out from us as 
 easily as we can close the book itself. Not so with 
 the leather-bound ledger and day-book, — their figures 
 attach themselves to us as parts of our being, and are 
 the index of the prosperity on which the happiness of 
 ourselves and our families depends. 
 
 Now, although a consul has no chance of making more 
 than what his fixed salary* is (with the exception of 
 what he gets in the way of notarial fees, which, except 
 at very large and important places, form but a trifling 
 sum), he nevertheless takes an interest in seeing the 
 columns of his fee-book and his invoice-book increasing 
 as if they were the records of his own private business ; 
 he is sorry when the sums show less than they ought 
 to, and he rejoices when the consular business prospers; 
 he takes a pride in seeing the fees paid over to Uncle 
 Sam at as high a figure as possible. How happy is he 
 if he can do substantial good to his government or to 
 his countrymen ! What a pleasure does it give him if 
 he is able to introduce some article of American manu- 
 facture into the country where he is located, or to ex- 
 tend the sale of what is already known there, thus 
 bringing profit to private individuals, but at the same 
 time helping thereby to raise the prosperity of our 
 native land ! He is always working for others ; but he 
 reaps the thanks of his countr3'men therefor. 
 
 * Previous to the act of Congress of March 1, 1855, there were only a 
 few consulates for which a fixed salary was appropriated; all other con- 
 suls were allowed to retain all the fees collected by them, so that im- 
 portant places like Liverpool, etc., were worth more than the best-paid 
 diplomatic posts at present. At those consulates for which no salary la 
 appropriated the incumbent is now allowed to retain only twenty-five 
 hundred dollars in all for his services : all fees over and above that sum 
 must be accouuted for to the government. 
 
POETRY IN EVERY OCCUPATION OF LIFE, 9 
 
 I once heard somebody make the remark that the 
 business of an architect must be a very tantalizing one, 
 as he is always planning and building comfortable 
 houses for other people to live in. But I don't think 
 such is more the case in his than in any other business; 
 one couldn't expect him to live in all the houses he 
 builds, any more than one could expect a baker to eat 
 all the loaves he bakes, or a dentist to enjoy the ex- 
 quisite pain of every tooth he pulls ; yet they both take 
 pleasure in doing something for others, for the very 
 reason that it is business. So with the consul, — he is 
 publicly set up to do what he can for the advantage of 
 his countrymen at home and abroad, and though he is 
 not paid specially for it, he takes an interest in such 
 transactions, and cheerfully performs them, because 
 they constitute his business. 
 
 And, moreover, the employment of a consul is one 
 full of poetry too. 
 
 I am disposed to believe that there is poetry in every 
 occupation of life, if one has the poetical feeling wnthin 
 oneself, and if one takes the trouble to find it out. In 
 the most prosaic situations there are plenty of things 
 to interest the speculative mind. 
 
 If a man be only a poor cobbler, working in some 
 dingy attic, he could, in imagination, follow up a thread 
 of circumstances and picture to himself scenes, all 
 directly connected with the common articles which he 
 daily handles in working at his craft, which would tend 
 to lighten the hours as he sits stooping over his labor. 
 The leather, which now has a penetrating smell, per- 
 vading the close walls of his shop, and making a heavy, 
 pungent air to breathe, was once the glossy hide of 
 cattle grazing in peaceful country places. Perhaps in 
 his youth — and on Sundays even now — he has strolled 
 into the fields and has seen the sparkling dew upon the 
 grass; has snifi'ed the fragrance of the country air; has 
 seen the herd browsing on the meadows ; and has ad- 
 mired the shining cows as they make bright s])Ots of 
 color in the landscape. lie has refreshed himself with 
 a glass of country milk, — so diiferent from the milk of 
 the city, — has tasted butter fresh from the dairy, and 
 
10 THE POOR COBBLER, 
 
 has enjoyed berries plucked direct from the bushes 
 without having on their sides the mushy contusions 
 which hundreds of miles of railroad jogging have 
 brought to them. He has, perhaps, seen the farmer's 
 plump boy or the sunburnt maid driving the cows 
 home in the evening, and has seen the sun setting, — 
 actually setting on the horizon, and not sneaking away 
 behind brick chimneys and high, dusty roofs as he 
 generally sees it do, long before his day's work is done. 
 
 Kecalling such scenes to his mind, his imagination 
 will pleasantly carry him away from the torn sole he 
 is stitching at and trying to make " as good as new 
 again." 
 
 He may, perhaps, think of the various operations the 
 hides have gone through before they are fit to come 
 even to his hands, — of the glaring tan-yard with its 
 watery filth, the sloppy currier-sheds with their slip- 
 pery floors, and of the horrors of the glue factory ; and 
 may have reason to thank God that his lot is better 
 than the lot of those whose hard-working lives are 
 spent in such putrid places. 
 
 The yellow wax at his side, which is still redolent 
 of the sweet flowers of the meadows, — which has the 
 fragrant breath of the honeysuckle and the clover in it, 
 — brings a bit of cheerful, lusty spring into his dark 
 abode, even when the cold sleet of December is patter- 
 ing against his dirty window-pane. ^ 
 
 When he threads his needle, or stuffs his mouth full 
 of tacks (to be disgorged singlj'-) for hammering into 
 the thick soles, cannot his thoughts carry him back to 
 the black iron countries, and bring present to his mind 
 the digging and delving in the earth's bowels ; the roar- 
 ing and leaping of the forge fires ; the heavy ring of the 
 sledge-hammer, mashing the glowing metal with irre- 
 sistible force, and making the glittering sparks fly out 
 like useful fireworks? Can he not picture to himself 
 the brawny breasts bared and the muscular arms 
 strained to the work of reducing the mighty bars to 
 such small bits as he is daily handling? 
 
 Even the hempen thread he uses is made up in busy 
 factories, where weak-cheated women force their voices 
 
THE GROCER'S BOY. H 
 
 into plaintive songs to drown the noise of the whirling 
 spindles. 
 
 Then, too, can he not speculate on the various paths 
 of life that are trod in the boots and shoes which his 
 handiwork has furnished ? One step is light and elas- 
 tic, as that of the father hurrying home to the family 
 from whom he has been away all day, working for their 
 support. The welcome of the children, the quiet smile 
 of the wife, the cheery light within, and the delicious 
 smell of the preparing supper greet him as he enters. 
 Here is another step, light and elastic too, — it is that 
 of the young man as he starts out into the world, 
 thinking the whole world his, — his own master at last. 
 But he must be his own defender now, too, against all 
 attacks of that world which he thinks his own, but 
 which will not spare him, — it spares none who passes 
 through it. 
 
 How many a heavy tread we hear as the weary, the 
 forlorn, the oppressed, the neglected, the unfortunate 
 pass us in our daily walks! Think of the slow step of 
 mourners to the grave of those who stood nearest them ! 
 Think of those whose steps are leading them to the 
 hospitals, to the poor-house, to the prisons! Think of 
 the last heavy step of him who has to ascend the 
 scaffold ! 
 
 How often is the common saying heard, " I would 
 not like to be in that man's boots for any money!" 
 This saying must be brought home to the breast of the 
 cobbler with a telling force, for has he not made the 
 boots that that unlucky man stands in ? 
 
 I do not say that my poor cobbler can know, or even 
 guess, in all cases, the destination of the work which he 
 supplies, but has he not play for his imagination in 
 picturing to himself such scenes and possibilities ? 
 
 If I were a grocer's boy, allotted to the dingy store- 
 room or the cold cellar where the goods are stowed 
 away in their original packages, each cask and box and 
 bale and bag would suggest to my fancy pictures of 
 the various countries which produced their contents. 
 
 In taking up a tea-chest, covered over with those 
 funny-looking figures and those extraordinary words 
 
12 ''FROM GREENLAND'S ICY MOUNTAINS.'' 
 
 or letters which look like scratched-out sums in arith- 
 metic, and have no meaning for me, but are perfectly 
 intelligible to people whom I am accustomed to con- 
 sider so much my inferiors, — in handling that curiously 
 soft paper on the inside, which is so like velvet to the 
 touch, or like the leaf of a rose, my thoughts instantly 
 fly through the very centre of the earth quicker than 
 any underground cable could carry them, and I am at 
 once in the midst of my antipodes, w^alking along the 
 crowded streets, surrounded by shaven heads and pig- 
 tails, and jostled by palanquin-bearers and slit-eyed 
 fellows carrying their wares on long poles on their 
 shoulders. I see the light temples, rising up, story on 
 story, with their turned-up roofs with little bells hang- 
 ing at the points, and the perfume of joss-stick greets 
 my nostrils like a perpetual Fourth of July. 
 
 If I were drawing oif molasses from the cask, or 
 weighing out sugar, my mind would revert to the 
 sunny plantations of the South, where the work is 
 done by steaming negroes in their open shirts and 
 check breeches, singing at their labor, and where hos- 
 pitality takes its cheeriest and most genial form. 
 
 But the farther countries have still more interest for 
 me, for every mile that makes a country more and 
 more inaccessible adds more and more to its mythic 
 charms ; every sniff of fragrant spices has the perfume 
 of poetry in it. I remember, in my boyhood, when 
 going to church was made compulsory, the continual 
 recurrence of the same service seemed to me a very 
 unacceptable form of praise to the author of a creation 
 that is so endlessly beautiful and varied, — its mystic 
 harmonics never repeating themselves ; its wondrous 
 atoms, infinite as the power that grouped them to- 
 gether; — and the hymns struck me as differing from 
 each other only in the transposition of their words and 
 in their metre, like the Gloria Patri that follows them. 
 But when collection-day for foreign missions came 
 round, and " From Greenland's icy mountains" was 
 sung, then my blood was stirred. As I joined in the 
 words of that hymn I saw a moving picture with my 
 mind's eye, — a picture of all the changing scenes so 
 
FULL SCOPE TO THE IMAGINATION. 13 
 
 artistically touched on in that beautiful poem. It was 
 like the smoothly-sailing scenes of a diorama seen from 
 within a darkened room, but illuminated by hidden 
 gas-jets which gave it the exaggerated brilliancy of a 
 sunny landscape looked at through a pale yellow glass. 
 Even the music had something moving in it to my 
 mind ; there was a sense of pushing on, like that pro- 
 duced by the thudding rumble of a railroad train, — there 
 was the exhilarating feeling of getting out of the narrow 
 confines of every-day routine, and of flying out into the 
 bright, broad world, so enticing to every youth. Even 
 now the invigorating perfume of the clove or nutmeg 
 always suggests to my mind the line, " What though 
 the spicy breezes blow soft o'er Ceylon's isle." 
 
 And so, the grocer's boy of healthy imagination can 
 never want for beautiful and varied pictures of far-off 
 countries and their strange inhabitants. 
 
 There is not a trade or a business that has not some- 
 thing of poetry in it. 
 
 The field of the consul is certainly one that gives full 
 scope to the imaginative powers. I have lived in a 
 district where there are but few manufactures and 
 where there is little or no commerce, and where the 
 exports to our country make but a small figure com- 
 pared with those of almost every other place ; still, it 
 always gave me pleasure when making up my invoices 
 in the prescribed form, with the green ribbon and the 
 red seal upon them, or in entering them in the books, 
 to follow, in my mind, the various articles on their way 
 from the old to the new world, — from their origin to 
 their final destination. 
 
 Now (I used to think), those boxes marked " A. B. 
 C. No. 1," and so forth (for which I had just made out 
 the consular certificate), containing " certain goods, 
 wares, and merchandise mentioned and described in the 
 annexed invoice," are on their way to Bremen or Ham- 
 burg or some other port, to be put on board ship there. 
 Now they are hoisted up the side and swung down into 
 the capacious maw of the steamer, to be disgorged again, 
 in time, at one of our own ports, smelling very much 
 of a bad digestion and of bilge-water. The while those 
 
 2 
 
14 GOODS SENT FROM THE CONSULATE. 
 
 boxes, in the company of other boxes and bales and 
 bags and casks and crates, are firmly dovetailed into 
 each other to keep them from shifting, and as the vessel 
 rolls from side to side, or pitches frantically, oh, how- 
 deathly sick is the living freight above ! Every motion 
 of the spiteful ship seems to slam our stomach into the 
 wrong place ; there is a general feeling of having too 
 much stomach and of not knowing what to do with it ; 
 or, as if we had somebody else's stomach and got very 
 much cheated in the bargain. If, at such times, it were 
 possible to speculate at all, we would be apt to envy 
 the contents of the boxes and bales below us, for they 
 keep their places intact through all the motion, — our 
 contents seem to be very badly packed. 
 
 At last the ship arrives at its destination. The pas- 
 sengers scamper off as quickly as possible and disperse 
 to the four quarters of the Union. The freight does 
 not begin to be unloaded until the next day. Then 
 comes the rushing and running and tramping on the 
 decks. What before and during the passage was so 
 clean and shining and orderly, is now all dirt and con- 
 fusion. Now come up the boxes from the hold ; now 
 they are slid down to the wharf; now comes the scram- 
 bling, jostling, racketing, and swearing of the carmen, 
 the porters, and all those other amphibious animals that 
 are of the docks, — docky. Now comes the protective 
 arm of the revenue service, and now come those beauti- 
 fully complicated, intricate, and mazy operations at the 
 custom-house, before the performance of which no goods 
 can be put into the hands of their rightful owners, — 
 operations which take about as long to be got through 
 with, and call for as great a display of ingenuity on one 
 side and of patience on the other, and cost about as 
 much, as it did to make the articles. 
 
 But once out of the clutches of the custom-house, and 
 in the hands of our merchants, they soon are scattered 
 in all directions, and in delightful revery I follow with 
 my mind's eye the destination of the goods which have 
 passed through my hands, or, to speak more correctly, 
 of which the various invoices have passed through 
 them. 
 
PARIS KID GLOVES. 15 
 
 The Paris kid gloves, made of the skins of meek Ba- 
 varian lambs, poor little shiverers on their bleak moun- 
 tain pastures, embellish the windows and deck the 
 counters in the Broadway of New York and the Broad- 
 ways of other cities. I see them sold by sleek and 
 well-brushed salesmen to fair customers in gallant 
 street rig, out for the enjoyment of a morning's shop- 
 ping. They soon grace delicate hands, and are pressed 
 by loving swains, who anxiously wait for the returning 
 pressure of the soft mass within, which is the electric 
 reply to their unuttered aspirations. I see them softly 
 shining in connection with costly robes sweeping the 
 carpets at brilliant balls ; at operas and concerts, and 
 in gayly-lighted parlors. 1 see them in the company 
 of pets of bonnets and stunning costumes parading 
 through our crowded thoroughfares, or whirling along 
 in high-wheeled vehicles in our parks. I see them 
 at weddings and at christenings and at funerals, — at 
 churches and at theatres, now holding the golden- 
 clasped prayer-book, now swaying the light fan, — 
 and every scene they present to me is so thoroughly 
 American, so characteristic of our land, that a strong 
 undercurrent of undefined longing mixes itself with my 
 revery ; — and these are the same gloves which I have 
 wa'tched in the process of manufacture in glaring back 
 rooms in the quiet by-streets of Munich. 
 
 The diamonds (which at one time were sent in large 
 quantities from my district), I used to think, I could see 
 glistening throughout the length and breadth of our 
 land. No true American is complete without them 
 nowadaj's. A man can't transact his daily business if 
 they are not sparkling in his snowy shirt front; and 
 as for the ladies, — we all know they use them by the 
 bushel. 
 
 What becomes of all the gold and fancy paper that 
 is made in and around Munich ? It is used by the con- 
 fectioner and the bookbinder; it goes to make pill- 
 boxes, and it forms the covering of the corks of millions 
 of bottles of medicine (of which our people are so fond), 
 deftly tied on by spruce dispensers in our j)alatial apoth- 
 ecary-shops. Nowhere else in the world arc these 
 
16 WORKS OF ART. 
 
 latter so rich in colored marble and so blazing with 
 gold as with us, — nowhere else are they so well patron- 
 ized. 
 
 The bronze powder and the gold leaf of all shades 
 and tints lend their effulgence to the decorations of 
 many a gaudy ice-cream and oyster saloon, and my 
 mouth waters when I think of them; blessed memories 
 of "fried, stewed, broiled, roasted, and on the shell," 
 and fragrant ghosts of cocktails, cobblers, smashes, and 
 kindred spirits, haunt me pleasantly. 
 
 And thus I picture to myself the ultimate destina- 
 tion and uses of each article that is exported from my 
 district. 
 
 But the most prominent of the products of Munich 
 sent to the United States are works of art, — paintings 
 and statues, — and here a flowery field for speculation 
 opens, boundless as the great expanse of nature itself, 
 from which all true art springs- It has been my privi- 
 lege to see most of these art works in all stages of their 
 creation, from the first dashy sketch in colors or in clay 
 to the last stroke of the brush, the last cut of the chisel. 
 
 It is only by constantly associating with artists ; by 
 being an intimate of their studios; by accompanying 
 them on their summer study tours ; by being let into 
 the secret chambers of their minds, when their ideas 
 are starting fresh and working themselves out to the 
 surface ; by sharing with them their many trials and 
 difficulties in bringing into a visible, tangible form the 
 conceptions within their brains, and by witnessing their 
 triumph when success at last crowns their efforts, and 
 their still greater triumph when their production is 
 sold, and the money jingles in their pocket, that one 
 can appreciate how much is really on the canvas, — 
 how much lurks in the heart of the gleaming marble. 
 Following these art works from the studios to the exhi- 
 bition-rooms of the picture-dealer or the art-unions, I 
 followed them still farther (and with feelings of satis- 
 faction), when they took their way across the ocean, 
 there at last to find their home and their resting-place. 
 
 Munich is essentially an art city. The Munich 
 school of painting is as well known with us as it is in 
 
WORKS OF ART, 17 
 
 Europe. How many of our most prominent painters 
 of the present day have been educated in the city of 
 the " little monk/' which extends its hand and offers 
 its treasures with the same cordiality to the stranger 
 as to its native Bavarians ! Even those who have not 
 studied there have felt the influence of its teachings, 
 for though unacknowledged by many, it is nevertheless 
 true that the revival of art in all its branches in Munich, 
 since the beginning of the reign of King Louis the 
 First, has spread its waves through all the civilized 
 countries of the world. 
 
 It is hard to write about Munich without dabbling in 
 art criticism : I believe no one escapes it ; but this ever- 
 lasting writing on art is the shoal on which many, 
 otherwise worthy persons, have stranded. The Munich 
 air is so impregnated with art matter, — art stares at one 
 from every street: the newspapers discuss art, — and 
 conversation so turns on art, that the new-comer soon 
 drifts into the current, no matter in what class of 
 society he is thrown. He gets the infection, and ho 
 becomes an art-critic. It's as easy to catch as the 
 fever. But he doesn't keep what he knows to himself: 
 he begins to write about it. It requires one to become 
 acclimatized in such an art city before one is capable of 
 enjoying the good that one sees without hampering the 
 senses with the stuffy wraps of comparison and criticism. 
 I will promise in this book — the recital of events during 
 my prolonged stay in Munich — to do what no one has 
 succeeded in doing before me, — not to write about art. 
 Perhaps I may have my good reasons for it. 
 
 I have known several people who came over to Europe 
 with the boast, and perhaps with the inward convic- 
 tion, that they were going to study up art — in three 
 months (for the purpose of publication). I know of 
 one who was going to spend six weeks in Italy to thor- 
 oughly acquaint himself with the spirit of Italian art 
 (for a similar sinister purpose). I envy the self-satis- 
 faction of such people. I knew of one young man (ho 
 was not an American, however) who was studying 
 civil engineering. He appeared to have a good head for 
 mathematics ; it was well filled with logarithms and 
 ^ 2* 
 
18 MV FIRST CLIENT. 
 
 mechanical powers and extracts of square roots and so 
 forth, but it seemed he got tired of his knowledge. One 
 day he astonished his friends by saying that he had 
 given that up, — that he was not going to be an engineer 
 after all, — that he was going to be something else. 
 
 " What else?" said we. 
 
 " Why, I am going to be a poet." 
 
 I am afraid that young man had never heard of 
 Poeta Nascitur, 
 
 But art has upset me already, and I have wandered 
 off from my subject ; I must get back to the consu- 
 late. But here comes a knock at the door, and I shout 
 " herein !" 
 
 " The top av the ntorning to you, sor, and how do ye 
 find yerself to-day, sor ?" 
 
 My very first client an Irishman, as true as you live, 
 — and in trouble. But he did not come in person : he 
 introduced himself by letter. Mr. O'Sweeney* gave 
 vent to his feelings in six closely- written pages of 
 quarto letter paper. He had been egregiously swindled 
 by a hotel-keeper in one of the mountainous districts of 
 Bavaria ; the man had done him, according to his com- 
 putation, out of one hundred and sixty florins, which he 
 had had to pay (there being no consul in the neighbor- 
 hood), but he now took occasion to state his case to his 
 "natural representative" (he had become naturalized 
 for that purpose) and expected him to set him to rights. 
 Mr. O'Sweeney had bargained with the landlord for 
 the price, and the quantity and quality of everj^thing he 
 w^as to get, and yet when after some two months' stay 
 his bill \vas presented, there were items on it which 
 set Mr. O'Sweeney's blood boiling, and caused him, no 
 doubt, to make use of some very classic expressions 
 which, unfortunately, the landlord did not understand. 
 It appeared from the letter in question, after the some- 
 what confused statement had been disentangled, that a 
 French bonne who had been engaged to impart the ele- 
 
 * It is almost superfluous to notify the intelligent reader that all names 
 here given, except those of well-known public persons, are fictitioua 
 
ASSISTING FELLOW-CITIZENS IN TROUBLE. 19 
 
 ments of Parisian manners to the O'Svveeney children, 
 and who had been discharged a weel^ before, had in- 
 dulged in surreptitious lunches, potations, and even 
 drives for her health at Mr. O'Sweeney's expense, and 
 thus the bill had acquired its unexpected dimensions. 
 
 This being the first case, outside of legitimate com- 
 mercial business, in which I was called upon to assist a 
 fellow-citizen in trouble, I give it its place here in the 
 beginning, as its importance demands. Indeed, it forms 
 the key-note of a long strain of similar requests for in- 
 tercession, which are mostly put to the consul in the 
 form of a demand, as if he had been appointed solely 
 for the purpose of attending to the little personal squab- 
 bles of his countrymen. A new broom sweeps clean, 
 but it often happens that a new broom is still green. I 
 must say, that at the outset of my career I felt it my 
 bounden duty to take up each such quarrel as if it were 
 my own ; to make it, so to speak, the pet lamb of my 
 cares ; but later on, when I had got seasoned through 
 experience, it began to occur to me that perhaps there 
 were other duties that were equally, if not even more, 
 important. But the people in trouble were always 
 convinced that it was the primary business of a consul 
 to attend to them, and, above all, to take their view of 
 the matter in hand, to listen only to their account of it, 
 and to see them snugly through. I regret having to 
 state that almost in nine cases out of ten it was the 
 opposing party who appeared to me to be in the right, 
 for the difficulties generally arose from the arrange- 
 ment (in cases of tenant versus landlord) being made in 
 German, imperfectly spoken, and only half understood 
 by the American and without witnesses to the trans- 
 action, or from that haunting horror many people have 
 that they are always being swindled. 
 
 I may as well, in referring to these little troubles, 
 put them all together in one bundle and bo done with 
 them, as I heartily wished to be at the time they oc- 
 curred. 
 
 A few cases out of many will servo to show their 
 general character. 
 
 A gentleman came in one day accompanied by the 
 
20 LOSS OF GOLD BRACELET. 
 
 portier and the omnibus conductor of Hotel R . He 
 
 had had his trunks sent on from Italy to the custom- 
 house at Munich, and had sent the omnibus conductor 
 to the latter place with the keys to have the trunks 
 examined and passed, and to bring them to the hotel. 
 When they were brought up to his rooms, he made the 
 discovery that a gold bracelet had been taken out of 
 its case and was gone. He recollected quite well, he 
 said, that his niece had packed the bracelet in the trunk 
 at Turin, for she had stated to him that she was cer- 
 tain she had done so. In the course of further con- 
 versation, when I questioned him more closely, he said 
 it might possibly have been Florence where the trunks 
 were last packed, but at any rate, whether it was at 
 Turin or Florence or any other rotten old city, the 
 thing was gone, and he was determined to make the 
 hotel people at Munich responsible for the loss. I of 
 course questioned the portier and the omnibus con- 
 ductor, but they could only give me assurances that 
 they were both honest men, and they indignantly denied 
 knowing anything about the bracelet. 
 
 Just about that time there had been a number of 
 robberies on the road between Verona and Innsbruck, 
 and travellers and the newspapers asserted that they 
 had been committed by Italian railroad officials. I took 
 occasion to mention this to the gentleman, and said 
 that suspicion pointed as easily in that direction as 
 against the omnibus conductor, if the bracelet had 
 really been stolen ; for I had a lurking notion that 
 perhaps it had been left behind or lost in Italy, or that 
 it would still be found in some corner of some of the 
 trunks (why should a person take a single bracelet 
 only, when there were lots of other jewelry lying be- 
 side it?). 
 
 That unfortunate if damaged my reputation as a 
 defender of the right. The gentleman had come to 
 me fully prepared to see me pitch into the omnibus 
 conductor and the portier in a manner that would 
 wring confession from them. He was less than half 
 satisfied with the result, for he said as he went away, 
 that " at any rate" he '' would stay at Munich for three 
 
LOSS OF DIAMOND RING. 21 
 
 months and would pay a thousand dollars to have 
 satisfaction, if he were convinced that such stealing was 
 an institution of the country." 
 
 Another gentleman once came who had lost a dia- 
 mond ring at one of the hotels some weeks before. It 
 was diligently searched for, of course, but not found, 
 and the gentleman had to leave Munich minus his ring. 
 Upon his return to Munich some weeks later, and put- 
 ting up at the same hotel, he called the landlord to 
 account for the want of honesty on the part of his em- 
 ployes, when the landlord smilingly told him the ring 
 bad at last been found, and handed it to him. The 
 gentleman put it in his pocket without examining it, 
 but afterwards discovered that it was not his ring, but 
 one something like it, only of much less value. 
 
 Both the gentleman himself, and his friend who ac- 
 companied him to the consulate, were very much ex- 
 cited. They suspected the hotel-keeper of dishonest 
 practices. I knew the latter personally, and could give 
 him the very best character, but that did not satisfy 
 them. If I couldn't help them to get the right ring 
 back, they said, they would employ a detective to ferret 
 out the matter; which course I advised them to take if 
 they thought proper. They were willing to give a hun- 
 dred florins for the discovery of the ring. 
 
 Their grievance rested on the moral certainty that 
 the ring was lost at the hotel, and could have been 
 lost nowhere else. 
 
 The circumstance of some one else losing a similar 
 ring at about the same time, and the landlord sup- 
 posing it to belong to the gentleman in question, had 
 to their minds a very suspicious appearance. In the 
 course of further conversation it came out that the 
 gentleman was not in the habit of wearing the ring 
 on his finger, but of carrying it in his porte-monnaie, 
 so it seemed quite possible to me that it might have 
 dropped out unobserved at any place : on the street, 
 at a railway station in the hurry of getting tickets, 
 or at night. We all know, from the few times wo 
 regain anything that we thought lost, how absurdly 
 far from the conjectured spot the missing article is 
 
22 SOME EXPERIENCES. 
 
 always found. If such were not the case we would 
 look in the right place at once. 
 
 I was once dragged to the police-office by a lady 
 to make a statement for her of some jewelry that 
 had been stolen from her at her lodgings, when, 
 some weeks afterwards, she flippantly told me, with- 
 out much appearance of mortification, that she had 
 found the things all right in one of her bureau-drawers ; 
 and it seemed so very queer to her that she hadn't 
 found them at first, for she had tumbled her things 
 all through, she said, to look for them. I suppose 
 she had tumbled her things all through several times 
 before, — at the time of losing sight of her jewelry. 
 So much for order. 
 
 A lady had bespoken a picture of a well-known 
 artist in Munich, and when it was sent to her with 
 the bill, there was a difficulty about the price, which 
 was not the one stipulated upon. The lady wanted 
 me to go straight to the painter and ask him what 
 he meant, and to make him come down to her terms, 
 and to give him a piece of her mind. As she did 
 not state how big a piece she was willing thus to 
 dispose of by proxy, I, of course, couldn't go. 
 
 Another lady had had her photograph taken, and 
 wasn't satisfied with it, — it looked like a fright, — and 
 thought she had been cheated, and wrote to me pretty 
 much in the same style, asking me to go to the 
 photographer and to see about it. They seem to 
 think the consul is fond of running on errands. 
 
 Another lady was in great distress about some trunks 
 she had left at Munich on storage, and when she wanted 
 them, heard to her amazement that they had been sold 
 in default of payment of storage. Of course she wrote 
 to me, — a voluminous letter, — anathematizing the com- 
 mission man in such terms as only the female mind is 
 capable of framing, and threatened that if she did not 
 receive justice she would write about the swindling of 
 
 that man K in every newspaper and magazine in 
 
 the United States (they always threaten to do that, 
 these gentle creatures). 
 
 When I had investigated the case, it was found that 
 
ROW WITH ITALIAN COURIER, 23 
 
 the lady had left her trunks with the party in question 
 for several years; that it had been stipulated that she 
 was to pay for the storage at the end of each six 
 months ; that, in the mean time, she had never written 
 to the party nor let him know of her whereabouts, 
 and that the commission man, after having advertised 
 several times for the owner, had, according to Bava- 
 rian law, and with the sanction of the chamber of com- 
 merce, sold the trunks and their contents at public auc- 
 tion. The law may be a hard one, but I found there 
 was really nothing to be done in the matter, and it was 
 my painful duty to write the state of the case to the 
 lady. This led to an extended correspondence, and I 
 was in receipt of a flow of closely-written letters which 
 were at least very edifying, as they let me into the 
 mysteries of the logic of the female mind. She princi- 
 pally made much ado about a certain invaluable family 
 portrait that was in one of the trunks, and said the man 
 had certainly no right to sell that. No such article was 
 on the inventory of effects, which the merchant showed 
 me, and which I looked carefully through. 
 
 In a subsequent letter the lady thought it just possi- 
 ble that the lamented portrait might be in one of her 
 other trunks which she had left at Naples. 
 
 Another party, a couple of gentlemen, had a row 
 with their Italian courier, whom they "rather sus- 
 pected" of cheating them (unsophisticated travellers), 
 and tugged him to the consulate to make him own up. 
 As I couldn't get anything more out of the courier 
 ^than they could, although he had evidently got a good 
 deal out of them, I advised them to tug him still a 
 little farther to my colleague the Italian consul's and 
 let him make an affidavit there, for the fellow said he 
 was ready to do so at that office, but that it was a 
 one sided affair to take him to a "foreign tribunal that 
 could have no sympathy with his doings." 
 
 I might go on with other recitals of the like kind, 
 but fear they can have but little general interest here, 
 however well adapted they might be to furnish maga- 
 zine articles, as my lady friend who had lost or mislaid 
 her ancestor seemed to think. 
 
24 CURSORY NOTE FROM A LADY. 
 
 The most frequent causes of quarrels were misunder- 
 standings between occupants of furnished rooms and 
 the parties who let them. The former were generally 
 ladies, unprotected, and many were the altercations I 
 was called upon to witness, and which, it was supposed, 
 one majestic wave of the consular arm, one frown of 
 the consular brow, would settle to the advantage of my 
 fair countrywomen. A couple of times I was sum- 
 moned, late in the evening, to come immediately, as if 
 I were a doctor. One party, who considered that I 
 had not done her sufficient justice on the occasion of 
 such a nocturnal visit, wrote me, afterwards, a very 
 short note ; so short, indeed, that it was directed with 
 my name without even a Mr. before or an Esq. behind, 
 — it was a very cursory note. 
 
 One lady used a decoy. She entreated me to call 
 that evening or very early the next morning. She 
 wrote, *' I am greatly in need of advice in several re- 
 spects, and you will do me much kindness by calling as 
 early as you may find it convenient. I am in urgent 
 necessity, and will you favor me with a reply as to 
 whether you can call, and when? I cannot well talk 
 with you in your office, and therefore beg you to call 
 and see me." I really thought this time (the writer 
 being an elderly lady) that it was an affair of impor- 
 tance, and went there, and found it was a matter of dis- 
 pute between her and her landlord as to the price of 
 the coals furnished. 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 Authenticating invoices — Consul to know the price of everything — No- 
 tarial business — Executing the first commission — Reports to Depart- 
 ment of State — Reports to Treasury Department — Reports to ap- 
 praisers — General reports — At seaport places still more to write on — 
 Saluting consul by squadron — Circulars from Department — Mrs. Par- 
 diggle — Like school compositions — Rinderpest, and report on the same 
 — The story of two wild Indians. 
 
 In Christian countries the principal business of a 
 consul, except at some seaport places, is the authenti- 
 
AUTHENTICATING INVOICES. 25 
 
 cation of invoices. From the nature of our tariff 
 system, the safeguards placed by the government to 
 protect itself against fraud are very complicated, and 
 they begin at the place where the foreign goods origi- 
 nate, — where they are manufactured or sold. The ex- 
 porter of goods destined for our country must, at or 
 before the time of shipment, appear in person at the 
 consulate, armed with the bills in triplicate (or, if the 
 goods are sent in bond, in quadruplicate), and must 
 there make declaration in writing on an equal number 
 of printed forms that he is the manufacturer or seller; 
 that the prices given are the true prices, etc. ; that no 
 discounts, bounties, or drawbacks are contained in the 
 invoice except such as have been actually allowed ; that 
 no different invoice of the goods has been or will be 
 furnished to any one; that entry of the goods is to be 
 made at the port of the United States designated by 
 him ; that the boxes or other coverings are marked so 
 and so, and that they contain such and such articles, 
 etc. The consul then has to certify that the invoice 
 was produced to bim by the subscriber of it; that he 
 believes that person to be the person he represents 
 himself to be ; that he believes him to be a credible 
 person, and that he believes all the statements made 
 by him to be true, etc. 
 
 Our business men are familiar with these things, and 
 for others it would only be tiresome to go into a further 
 consideration of the manner of using the consular red 
 tape. 
 
 The consul is supposed to know the cost of manufac- 
 ture, the market price, and the selling price of every 
 article that leaves his district, from a child's rattle to a 
 locomotive, — from a pair of gloves to a live elephant. 
 He is thus enabled to detect any misstatements on the 
 part of the exporter, and to report the same to his 
 government. The performance relating to the authen- 
 tication of invoices is the one from which most of the 
 i'ees are derived. The consular service is self support- 
 ing; it even pays in annually a handsome little sum to 
 the treasury over and above the amounts paid lor sala- 
 ries and for the contingent expenses of the consulates. 
 B 3 
 
26 EXECUTING THE FIRST COMMISSION. 
 
 But in addition to the functions of a consul as toward 
 his government, he is allowed to exercise those of a 
 notary public at home. He is allowed to administer 
 oaths to his countrymen abroad, to take acknowledg- 
 ments to powers of attorney, deeds, assignments, etc.; 
 to verify the signatures of private persons and of the 
 public officers of the place he is in, and he is often 
 asked to make out instruments of writing that a for- 
 eign notary would not be able to do. He has often to 
 make translations of various documents from one lan- 
 guage into another. Sometimes he is appointed by the 
 courts in our country to execute a commission, — that 
 is, to take the deposition of witnesses who are called 
 in suits pending at home, but who may be residing or 
 temporarily sojourning abroad. For all such services 
 the consul is paid by the respective parties, and such 
 fees are not official fees to be accounted for to the 
 government. In large places, and at cities where there 
 is an American colony, these perquisites may amount 
 to a considerable sum ; but at most consulates they are 
 very trifling, and scarcely to be taken into considera- 
 tion. 
 
 The first commission I had to execute was on behalf 
 of a party to a disputed will case. A gentleman of the 
 
 State of , who had amassed a considerable amount of 
 
 property there, died at a little town in the south of Ba- 
 varia. It appeared that some years before he had made a 
 will leaving a certain part of his property to his wife 
 (there were no children) and the rest of it to his nearest 
 blood relations. There had been some slight estrange- 
 ment between himself and his wife, which had induced 
 him not to make her his sole heiress. His health failing 
 him, he was advised to go to Europe, and there, wishing 
 for quiet and mountain air, he decided on going to that 
 little town in Bavaria nearly bordering on Tyrol, where 
 he could have both. He was quite infirm when he 
 reached the place, and he never left it alive. But he 
 had written to his wife to cross the ocean and join him 
 there, which she did, but only to find her husband on 
 the verge of the grave. He had repented making the 
 
EXECUTINO THE FIRST COMMISSION. 27 
 
 will which gave part of his estate to his brothers and 
 sisters, and now wished to leave everything to his 
 wife. 
 
 On a lovely summer Sunday morning, when the vil- 
 lage bells were tolling^ a notary was called in and two 
 witnesses. The dying man expressed his wishes to the 
 notary. The notary, not taking into consideration the 
 fact that his client was an American citizen, and that 
 his will should be made according to our laws, said 
 there was a technical difficulty according to the laws 
 of that part of Bavaria, in making a will debarring 
 the blood relations entirely from a certain part of the 
 property, and, as there was no time to be lost, the in- 
 strument was hurriedly drawn up in the form of a 
 mutual marriage and inheritance contract, by the terms 
 of which either the husband or the wife dying first left 
 all his or her property to the survivor. The instru- 
 ment was read to the dying man, who nodded his as- 
 sent to it, thereby showing that he understood it. 
 When it came to be signed by him the pen was placed 
 in his hand, and he tried to form the first part of 
 the letter F of his name, but the notary seeing'he was 
 too weak to write, told him that if he made three 
 crosses it would be sufficient. He managed to make 
 the three crosses, and scarcely was the paper signed by 
 his wife and the notary and the witnesses, when ho 
 sank back and expired. 
 
 This will was disputed by the opposing parties at 
 home on the ground that the instrument purporting to 
 be a will was not really a will in the strict sense of our 
 law, and that it was not written nor signed by the 
 testator, nor was it shown that it was written at his 
 request. The stroke which was made for the first 
 cross was run through the letter F, which had been 
 feebly commenced, and it looked as if the dying man 
 had begun writing his name and had then crossed it out 
 again. 
 
 A lawyer at Munich and myself were appointed by 
 
 the Supreme Court of to examine the notary and 
 
 the witnesses who were present at the executing of 
 the instrument. There were a certain number of ques- 
 
28 EXECUTING TEE FIRST COMMISSION. 
 
 tions, some thirty or forty, I think, to be put separately 
 to each witness on the part of the defendant, and an 
 equal number of cross-interrogatories proposed on the 
 part of the plaintiffs. 
 
 It was a bright winter day when my companion and 
 I started on our journey to the picturesque little moun- 
 tain town on the southern border. The last ten miles 
 or so had to be made in the stage-coach; we were 
 drawing nearer and nearer to the great range of moun- 
 tains that form the upper spurof the Alps. The jagged 
 peaks of the Madeler Gabel shot up proudly into the 
 clear sky, its eternal snows covered with a fresh mantle 
 which reached to its foot. As the sun went down the 
 sky took a rosy hue of indescribable softness, and as it 
 began to fade and settle into a purple gray, the re- 
 fracted rays of the sun, which had long left the valley 
 in a sombre shadow, now caught the icy peaks, and the 
 whole mountain range seemed to be of red-hot metal, 
 or as if it were transparent, and were illuminated with 
 an intense light from behind. This was the famous 
 Alpen-Gliihen, — the Alpine glow, — which only takes 
 place under a combination of the most favorable cir- 
 cumstances. 
 
 The next morning we sought out the witnesses and 
 arranged with them for their examination. Each one 
 was sworn by us and the questions put to them. Of 
 course, it was necessary to make a translation of the 
 questions into German beforehand, and the answers 
 had, subsequentl}^, to be translated into English. I put 
 the questions sharply to the witnesses, and I watched 
 them eagerly and meaningl}^ as they gave their answers, 
 which a scribe put to paper. I, all at once, felt myself 
 quite a little lawyer, and was almost disposed to badger 
 the witnesses when the cross-interrogatories were put 
 to them. A sort of forensic inquisitiveness seemed to 
 take hold of me. I fully appreciated the importance of 
 my position. It seemed to me as if with one step I 
 had entered the mystic circle of judicial power, and I 
 secretly resolved, upon my return to the city, to lay in 
 a stock of the largest-sized full calf volumes, that my 
 office might outwardly accord with the dignity I felt 
 
REPORTS TO DEPARTMENT OF STATE. 29 
 
 inwardly, and might bear witness (for the benefit of 
 the public) to the amount of knowledge which a consul 
 must possess. Thus, gentle reader, you are introduced 
 to a phase of the consular duties. 
 
 It somewhat took the starch out of my self-felt im- 
 portance to learn later that *' any respectable person," 
 even if he be not a consul, may be called upon to exe- 
 cute a commission. 
 
 In the present instance, the evidence elicited from 
 the witnesses of the dying man's intention to leave 
 everything he possessed to his wife was so clear, that 
 there could be no hope for the opposing party. 
 
 I may mention that my predecessor in office had, 
 a year or so before, executed a similar commission in 
 taking the testimony of the witnesses, but owing to 
 some technical irregularities in it, it was resolved by 
 the court to have the witnesses examined a second 
 time. 
 
 The widow eventually gained her suit. 
 
 The lawyer and the consul from the capital were 
 made much of by the inhabitants of the little town 
 during the three days we were there. Through the 
 notary we were introduced to all the notabilities of the 
 place, the Mayor, and the Chief Judge and the Doctor 
 and the Eoyal Head Forester, and one evening we as- 
 sisted at a grand celebration in honor of the conclusion 
 of peace between France and Germany, where music 
 and songs and patriotic speeches flowed almost as co- 
 piously as the streams of beer that accompanied them. 
 
 Conscientious consuls can't keep their hands in their 
 pockets nor devote their time to sitting on a store 
 counter and whittling, — even if a smooth, soft, mellow 
 piece of wood like our pine were to be had abroad, — 
 "the which it isn't," as Mrs. Gamp would say. 
 
 "As often as each official has anything of importance 
 to communicate, but in no case less frequently than 
 once a month" (say the Eegulations), he is to make a 
 report to the Department of State on all subjects which 
 may bo calculated to advance the commercial and in- 
 dustrial interests of the United States. The principal 
 
 3-^ 
 
30 REPORTS TO DEPARTMENT OF STATE. 
 
 end to be obtained thereby is the introduction of 
 American trade and its enlargement in his consular 
 district. 
 
 He is from time to time to advise the Department of 
 the demand for different kinds of products and man- 
 ufactured articles of our country abroad, and how the 
 demand may be increased by legislative, executive ac- 
 tion, or commercial enterprise. 
 
 He is to transmit quarterly reports giving information 
 on the following points : 
 
 *^ 1st. The usual terms on which merchandise is 
 bought and sold, whether on credit or for cash. The 
 usual discounts allowed, either from custom or in con- 
 sideration of cash payment, or from .other cause ; 
 whether such discounts are uniform, and, if not, whether 
 they vary in the same, or only in different descriptions 
 of merchandise ; and whether such discounts, or any 
 of them, are regarded as a bonus or gratuity to the 
 buyer for his benefit; whether he purchases for him- 
 self or ships merchandise to order and for the account 
 of others. 2d. The bounties allowed on articles ex- 
 ported, and for what reasons and under what circum- 
 stances ; whether they are the same on exports by 
 national or foreign vessels ; if not, the difference ; the 
 rates of such bounties and how estimated, whether on 
 weight, measure, gauge, price, or value. 3d. The cus- 
 tomary charge of commissions for purchasing and ship- 
 ping goods of different descriptions ; the usual broker- 
 age on the purchase or sale of merchandise ; whether 
 it is paid by the buyer or seller, or by both. 4th. The 
 usual and customary expenses in detail attending the 
 purchase and shipment of merchandise, including com- 
 missions, brokerage, export duty, dock, trade, or city 
 dues, lighterage, porterage, labor, cost of packages, 
 covering or embaling, cooperage, gauging, weighing, 
 wharfage, and local imposts or taxes of any kind ; 
 which of the foregoing, or other items, are usually in- 
 cluded in the price of the article or become a separate 
 charge to be paid by the shipper or purchaser." 
 
 Consuls are to report *' freely and frequently" useful 
 and interesting information relating to agriculture, 
 
REPORTS TO TREASURY DEPARTMENT. 31 
 
 manufactures, labor, wages, population, and public 
 works, to scientific discoveries, to progress in the use- 
 ful arts, and to general statistics. They are to report 
 carefully all events occurring within their several 
 districts which affect favorably or otherwise the com- 
 merce and navigation of the United States; the estab- 
 lishment of new branches of industry, and the increase 
 or decline of those before established. 
 
 Consuls are to transmit " as soon as published state- 
 ments of all changes in the commercial sj'Stems of the 
 governments to which they are accredited ; copies 
 (translations of course) of all commercial treaties, 
 regulations, light-house notices, revenue laws, acts, and 
 regulations respecting warehouses, tonnage-duties and 
 port-dues ; all tariffs and modifications thereof, and all 
 enactments, decrees, royal orders, or proclamations 
 which in any manner affect the commercial, agricultural, 
 mining, or other important interests of the United 
 StatesV' 
 
 They are to report specially on all articles of import 
 and export; the countries they come from and the 
 countries that receive them ; the increase or decrease 
 of the same, — from what causes ; the market prices of 
 staples of export, average rates of freight, what articles 
 are prohibited from importation, and why. They are 
 to report the differences in duties on articles imported 
 in foreign or national vessels ; all port, warehouse, and 
 sanitary regulations, and those relating to entry and 
 clearance. They are to report on the employment of 
 capital of United States citizens in their district, in 
 whatever pursuit employed ; on the consumption of our 
 products, and the amount of the same imported in 
 American vessels. 
 
 Then they are to report to the Secretary of the 
 Treasur}'^ the prices current of all articles exported 
 from their district to the United States ; the rates of 
 exchange between the places at which they reside and 
 London, Paris, Amsterdam, and Hamburg, and also the 
 principal cities of the United Staters. 
 
 They are also to re])ort to the appraisers at our 
 principal ports the prices current, the merchants' and 
 
32 CIRCULARS FROM DEPARTMENT. 
 
 manufacturers' prices, " and all other useful informa- 
 tion." 
 
 Besides, they are expected to give general reports on 
 the finances of the country they are in, its expenditures, 
 revenues, taxes, etc., — on emigration, on the social, 
 moral, and pecuniary condition of the people, — on health, 
 on mortality, on the climate, on the weather, on the 
 humidity of the atmosphere, and on various other 
 things too tedious to mention. 
 
 Of course, at seaport places, there are still more things 
 that have to be reported upon ; for there are the ships, 
 and their captains, and their crews, and their cargoes 
 to write about, — and where they came from, and how 
 long they stayed, and what they wanted there, and where 
 they went to, and how they behaved themselves while 
 there, and whether they were expected to come soon 
 again. 
 
 To be sure, a seaport consul sometimes has a moral 
 compensation for the above salty work in the con- 
 sciousness that if a United States squadron enter his 
 harbor he is entitled to a salute of seven guns, fired 
 either while he is on board, or while he is being con- 
 veyed from the vessel to the shore, in which case he is 
 to stand and face the vessel and raise his hat. All this 
 is very flattering to the consular heart. Being an in- 
 land consul, I did not have the honor of such a thun- 
 dering reception, and as none of our war vessels came 
 up the Isar while I was there, I did not get a sight of 
 any part of our magnificent navy. 
 
 In addition to all these regular reports, the Depart- 
 ment (that consuls may not stagnate) sends numerous 
 circulars stating what it would particularly like to 
 know. Sometimes it has a burning desire to find out 
 all about pisciculture or forestry' and their laws in for- 
 eign countries ; then there is some special branch of 
 agriculture or horticulture or arboriculture it wants to 
 be posted on, such as the raising of hops, or wine, 
 or tobacco, or beet-sugar, or tulips, or mulberry -trees. 
 Then again it wants to know all about systems of 
 credit abroad, — whether people are fond of giving 
 credit, and for how long, and at what rate of interest, 
 
MRS, PARDIGOLE, 33 
 
 and whether such credits have a good or bad influence 
 on trade and the morals of the mercantile community. 
 Then it wants to have statistics of all kinds of mills and 
 factories ; how large they are, how many hands they 
 employ, how much they produce, how many hours the 
 hands work, what wages they get, how they are able 
 to live on such wages, whether they drink much, and 
 whether they use much tobacco, and whether they fight 
 much among themselves; how much profit the manu- 
 facturers make on their wares, and how they behave 
 towards their w^orkmen, — and hundreds of other things. 
 
 The Department even goes so far as to make a regu- 
 lar Mrs. Pardiggle out of the consul, for it instructs 
 him how he must interview " representative work- 
 men and their families and secure the information di- 
 rect, somewhat after the manner of the following ques- 
 tions." It then gives a schedule of personal questions 
 to be put to these unoffending parties, something in the 
 st^'le of a fourteenth century inquisition, as to how old 
 they are, and how long they have been married, and 
 how many children they have, and how much they 
 earn, and what they spend their money for, and what 
 they eat and drink, and how much, and when they 
 get up, and when they go to bed, and what kinds of 
 clothes they wear, and how much they pay for school- 
 books, and what their doctor's bill comes to, and 
 whether they save anything for old age or for sick- 
 ness, and what they expect will become of their fami- 
 lies if they die. 
 
 But it is not only the common laborer that the De- 
 partment is after; it wants to know the wages and 
 salaries and incomes, and the manner of living of all 
 sorts and conditions of men; of officials, of farm-hands, 
 of tradesmen, of hod-carriers, of army and navy offi- 
 cers, of soldiers, of clerks, of washerwomen and of sow- 
 ing-girls ; and of the prices of lodgings and clothing, 
 and the staple articles of food. 
 
 Then it wants to be informed of the number and 
 kinds of cattle in the land, its condition, its appearance, 
 its value, its weight, its quality, its breed, and how 
 much fodder it consumes. 
 
34 RINDERPEST. 
 
 It sometimes seemed to me as if I were going to 
 school again, when I had to write compositions on 
 these interesting subjects. 
 
 Once the Department wanted to know all about the 
 Rinderpest : the cause and progress of the disease, its 
 origin, its symptoms, its treatment, its danger; what 
 laws were in force to prevent its spreading, and in how 
 far the United States might suffer through the conta- 
 gion if salted or frozen hides from infected countries- 
 were allowed entry at our ports. 
 
 I somehow, all at once, took a deep interest in the 
 subject. I made the Rinderpest my special study. I 
 traced back its history to the most ancient times. I 
 hunted up the best authorities on the subject, and read 
 their works lovingly. I corresponded with several of 
 the most celebrated experts of Germany (cattle doc- 
 tors) and got their opinions. I translated all the im- 
 perial German, and all the Bavarian, and all the local 
 laws and ordinances bearing on the matter ; I visited 
 the Eoj^al Veterinary College at Munich to get the 
 personal views of the professors there. 
 
 In the course of my investigations I made the ac- 
 quaintance of more sick cows (figurativelj^ speaking) 
 than one could shake a stick at, and I built up a 
 lengthy and exhaustive despatch for the Department, 
 well filled with good, swelling medical and surgical and 
 pathological terms, — and I hoped I had done my whole 
 duty thereby. But I suppose my scientific work was 
 too deep for the compilers at Washington, for it was 
 historically, geographically, nosologically, aetiologically, 
 symptomatically, therapeutically, and prophylactically 
 handled ; it was never published, as should have been 
 done, for the benefit of suffering bovines of our land. 
 
 Perhaps it was this want of appreciation on the part 
 of the Secretary of State, and my failure in being able 
 to appear before the public as a medical writer, that de- 
 terred me from reporting to the Department a scientific 
 discovery I made some time after, touching the man- 
 ners and customs of our aborigines. I give it here as 
 follows : 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 35 
 
 THE STOEY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 
 
 The glory of the great fairs that were, in old times, 
 held in all the larger cities of Europe, has departed. 
 In Germany, the fair at Leipsic is the only one that 
 retains anything of its former importance. Up to 
 the year 1870 there were two fairs held in the 
 city of Munich,* one in January, commencing on the 
 day of the Holy Three Kings, or Twelfth-tide, and the 
 other in July on St. Jacob's day, and each lasting a 
 fortnight. The large plantation extending along the 
 Maximilian's Platz from the monument of Schiller to 
 that of Goethe, with its undulating lawns and winding 
 paths, where groves of roses and rhododendrons are 
 sheltered by the strong young oaks, and which is nick- 
 named by the people the " Munich Alps," was, within 
 a few years ago, a great pebbly stretch of blinding 
 whiteness, where dust for the whole city seemed to be 
 kept on hand, and it was then, not inaptly, called the 
 " Desert of Sahara." But twice a year its aspect was 
 changed, — it presented then a stirring picture, full of 
 life and sound and color. Long rows of wooden booths, 
 forming three or four avenues, extended from end to 
 end, — and even farther down, across the Carl's Platz 
 to the Protestant church, and sometimes even beyond 
 that building, so conspicuous in its bandboxy ugliness. 
 Every kind of ware was temptingly displayed for sale 
 in these temporary shanties : toys and fancy articles, 
 dry goods, clothing, woodware, tin and iron and brass 
 and copper ware, earthenware and china, gloves, rib- 
 bons, hats and bonnets, boots and shoes and slippers, 
 tools, clocks, kitchen utensils, books, pictures, cakes and 
 candies, and, in fact, everything that a person could 
 possibly want or not want, and it was the time-honored 
 custom of the good wives of the town to put off making 
 their necessary purchases until it could be done at .the 
 fair, where the system of jewing could be carried on to 
 its most prolix extent ; they thus combined entertain- 
 
 * These fairs are now role^ated to the suburb Ilaidhauson. 
 
36 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 
 
 ment with business, and had the satisfaction of buying 
 trash much cheaper and also more trashy than they 
 could have done at a respectable shop, and had the ad- 
 vantage of having to carry it home themselves without 
 its being wrapped up, so that all the neighbors could 
 see the splendor of their purchases. 
 
 But people didn't want to buy only, — they wanted 
 amusement also, and it was generall}^ the neighbor- 
 hood of the Protestant church that was reserved for 
 circus and menagerie, monkey-shows, marionette-thea- 
 tres, and puppets, wax-works, — historical, anatomical, 
 and horrible, — panoramas, dioramas, dwarfs, giants, fat 
 women, big pigs, two-headed chickens, fortune-tellers, 
 and all the usual array of rifle-booths, strength-testers, 
 swings, carrousels, roulettes, and ring-pitchers. The 
 din of the competing bands, mingled with hand-organs, 
 big bells, and trumpets, was ear-splitting. 
 
 I confess to a weakness for such shows. You pay 
 your money, and you are always taken in ; but once in, 
 you seem to think that human nature is not so bad 
 after all, for you see how little it really takes to amuse 
 people. 
 
 Among these sights at the last of these fairs, jammed 
 in between the fat woman and the "fairies' grotto," 
 was a booth plastered over with the very wildest of 
 gaudy paintings, and containing "two living, genuine 
 wild Indians from the Eocky Mountains of North 
 America, — the chiefs Scalp-um-boi-wid-ta-moi-hegan, 
 and Wam-pum-wam-pum-pai-ure-wam-pum." There 
 was a loud-mouthed man on the little platform in front 
 gesticulating wildly and yelling at the top of his voice, 
 and anon rushing up to a big bell that was hung from 
 one of the posts supporting the roof, and jangling it 
 frantically. On first impressions one might have taken 
 him to be one of the wild Indians let loose, but closer 
 inspection showed him to be a white-skinned animal, — 
 only something the worse for dirt. He was pointing 
 with a stick to the pictures above him, and from the 
 description he gave of what was to be seen within, he 
 w^as perfect!}^ tame compared with what was on the 
 other side of the canvas curtain, — the curtain that 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 37 
 
 separated the public from his savage guests. Every 
 now and then a bloody yell shot out from the interior 
 of the booth, thus giving accentuation to his vivid nar- 
 rations of the habits of the dreaded warriors, — of the 
 war-path, — of tomahawking and scalping, — of the tor- 
 tures at the stake, and of horrible massacres where the 
 reeking knife never got dry from the blood of its shriek- 
 ing victims from one onslaught to another. 
 
 The wondering crowd outside was told that these 
 savages ate only living animals, and that now was the 
 time to see them, and that they were just on the point 
 of " producing themselves" in their national war-dance, 
 in shooting and in tomahawk-throwing, and that the 
 performance would conclude by their eating live pigeons 
 and hares before the eyes of the public. Here he held 
 up a frightened little rabbit by the ears, which curved 
 its back and kicked desperately. 
 
 Such a show was not to be resisted, and, especially 
 as these Indians were fellow-countrymen of mine, I felt 
 doubly bound to see them. 
 
 I rattled my twelve kreuzcrs on the plate, — going, 
 of course, into the aristocratic part of the house. The 
 curtain was drawn aside to let me in, and I stood among 
 about twenty other people in eager expectancy. When 
 as many people were caught as could be reasonably 
 expected in one throw of the net, the performance at 
 length commenced with some invisible yelling behind 
 the scenes that would have done credit to the most 
 cannibalistic lungs that ever breathed an air odorous 
 with the steam of roasting missionary. The little 
 green blanket that separated us from the stage was 
 now pulled back, and the two savages, with mighty 
 bounds, sprang in from the right and the left and con- 
 tinued their diabolical yelling, but now showing the 
 extent of the mouths from which the frightful noises 
 proceeded. They were artistically gotten up in their 
 war-paint and feathers; a leopard's skin girded their 
 loins ; they had rings in their noses, and the traditional 
 gold bands on wrists and arms and atikles. They 
 were fine-looking fellows, and they did their work well. 
 They danced and they sang, and screeched and howled, 
 
 4 
 
88 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 
 
 and blew on a distracting horn made of a big sea-shell, 
 which sounded like the last trump in its melancholy 
 madness. They attacked each other in mimic combat ; 
 they shot with their bows and arrows, and flung a 
 hatchet behind the wings, which probably fetched up 
 in a box of saw-dust placed there for the purpose. They 
 made horrible grimaces at some of the women among 
 the audience, as if they would like to chew them up. 
 Sometimes they made a start towards a young girl as 
 if with the intent of killing her — or of embracing her, 
 but they slunk back, awed and subdued by the stern 
 and commanding gaze of their master, who proved to 
 be the loud-mouthed man in front, who had deserted 
 his post for a few minutes to come inside and explain 
 the show. A lad who had been assisting the old lady 
 with the cash-box at the entrance evidently took the 
 loud-mouthed man's place in front in the mean time. 
 
 But their greatest feats were reserved for the last, 
 when a live pigeon was brought in. Both savages 
 made a dive for it. The one who secured it at once 
 took the head of the poor bird in one hand, the body in 
 the other, and with his teeth bit its neck apart. Fling- 
 ing down the head, he set to work to eat the rest, spit- 
 ting out the feathers with a great spluttering. The 
 meal on the live rabbit was pretty much the same, ex- 
 cept that the fellow spit out fur instead of feathers. 
 But there was no mistake about the animals having 
 been alive and that they were now perfectly dead. 
 
 The moment I saw these interesting savages, I set 
 down one of them, at least, for a gentleman of color, — 
 not copper color, but of that cooler shade of black 
 which generally accompanies a woolly head, and in the 
 jargon that they made use of in their savage conversa- 
 tion with each other I thought I detected some English 
 words which sounded very much like, " Whar's dat 
 doller yo' owe me, — when'r yo' gwine to pay me 
 back ?" Perhaps my ears deceived me, and it was all 
 genuine Choctaw. 
 
 Still, I did not regret having seen at a small expense 
 these wild Indians, — wilder than any I had ever seen in 
 America, — and I went out of the booth quite satisfied. 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 39 
 
 All the other shows after that seemed very tame to 
 me. 
 
 The fair was over, and the booths were rapidly- 
 cleared away; snow fell, and the Desert of Sahara was 
 transformed into a sample of the polar regions, so cold, 
 so bare, so deserted did it appear in contrast with its 
 late life and gayety. My wild Indians had flown with 
 the rest of the shows. 
 
 It was a week or two after this that I received a 
 letter from Bamberg, — a long, scrambling letter, in 
 which the unrestrictiveness of the orthography kept 
 pace with the playful irregularities of the chirography, 
 — yet it was a lachrymose letter, for it was blotted here 
 and there with tears — and ink, which had been hastily 
 licked up, after the manner of school-boys ; but by way 
 of compensating for the blots, it was undisturbed by any 
 punctuation-marks from beginning to end. It came from 
 a Mrs. Krumbach, of Dudenhofen. 
 
 Mrs. Krumbach wrote that she was the proprietress 
 of the wild Indians and of the booth ; that she had 
 separated from her partner (who, it appears, was the 
 loud-mouthed man, and who had made off with all the 
 earnings), and that now she and her son had the busi- 
 ness alone, but that the Indians had deserted her. The 
 one man, she said, was a negro, who gave a different 
 name at almost everyplace he went to, but w^as known 
 to her as Abe Chuffers ; the other man was a Spaniard. 
 She said that both these men had run away from her, 
 and that both owed her money, but she was particu- 
 larly down on Chuffers, who, she assured me, owed her 
 thirty-eight florins and forty-two kreuzers, and treated 
 her most brutally. He was an American, and he made 
 a practice of going to the American consuls and min- 
 isters and begging money of them, and that, as he gen- 
 erally forfeited his passport in every town he visited 
 (where it was retained by the police as a guarantee for 
 his appearance to answer sundry charges made against 
 him), he also begged for a new passport of the A merican 
 officials, and told all sorts of lies in order to get one. 
 
 She begged me on her knees (she said) if either of 
 these men came to me, not to believe a word they said, 
 
40 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS, 
 
 and by no means to give them money nor a passport, 
 but to compel them to pay her back the money they 
 owed her. 
 
 I pitied the poor old lady; but what could I do ? 
 The birds were flown, and I could not help her. I soon 
 forgot the matter. 
 
 Lots of people came in on all kinds of business, as 
 usual, and with all kinds of wants, and among the latter 
 came one morning a young, fine-looking colored man, 
 whom, from his appearance and bearing, one might 
 have taken for a steward on board ship, or something 
 of that sort. He told me that he was very hard up ; 
 that he had just arrived in Munich ; that he had been 
 travelling on foot, and he begged me to give him a little 
 money and some old clothes. He pulled up his trousers 
 to show me that he had no drawers, and he pulled up 
 his sleeves to show me that he had no shirt. He was 
 suffering dreadfully from the cold, be said, and was 
 very hungry. There was something in the fellow's 
 physiognomy that had a familiar look to me, and it at 
 once struck me that he must be my wild Indian, the 
 very man who had so wronged poor Mrs. Krumbach. 
 
 I went about my work diplomatically, and questioned 
 him closely. 
 
 " Where did you come from last ?" 
 
 " Well, sah, I come from Stuttgart." 
 
 " YouVe never been in Munich before ?'* 
 
 " Oh, no, sah." 
 
 " What have you been doing over here?" 
 
 " Well, sah, I was servant, sah, but the 'gemman as 
 engaged me didn't fulfil his contrac', an' he turned 
 me loose over heah in a strange country, an' I hadn't 
 got no money to get my rights wid, an' now I ain't 
 got no money to get so'thing to eat with." 
 
 "You're sure you've never been in Munich before?" 
 
 " Oh, no, sah, never seed Munich afore yest'day." 
 
 " Now, look here, young man, weren't you connected 
 with some kind of a show which was here during the 
 fair some weeks ago ?" 
 
 I looked steadily at him. I had got to the top round 
 of my diplomacy. He looked steadily at me, and se- 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 41 
 
 riously, — then his eyes began to twinkle, and at last 
 he broke out into a regular guffaw, and he said, — 
 
 " Well, now, 3'ou got me, sah. Yes, sah, I wos one 
 of dem wild Indians." 
 
 " ISTow, it would have been much better for you if 
 you had told me the truth at once ; why didn't you do 
 so?" 
 
 " Well, sah, I felt a little ashamed o' myself." 
 
 I then laid the contents of Mrs. Krumbach's letter 
 before him ; told him he had treated the old lady most 
 shamefully, and that it was his duty to go to some kind 
 of work at once, and pay her as soon as possible. He 
 looked down into his hat for a while, then rolled his 
 eyes up and said, — 
 
 "I^ow, see heah, sah, let me tell you de whole truf 
 of de stor}^. De fac' is, I don't owe de ole woman no 
 money, but contrarily, she owes me money, 'cos I 
 wasn't paid nuffin' for de whole time I was in Munich. 
 De ole woman didn't engage me ; de man engaged me, 
 but de ole woman kep' de cash-box. De ole woman 
 an* de man had a fight when we wos about to leave 
 Munich, an* de man ran away an' stole de cash-box, 
 an' I didn't get no pay eider way, but if I git hold o' 
 de ole woman agin, she's boun' to pay me." 
 
 I began to get interested in the case, and asked him 
 how he happened to get into such a business. 
 
 He said he was born in New Orleans : that previous 
 to the war he had been a slave. After getting his free- 
 dom, things didn't turn out as well as he had thought 
 they would. He couldn't earn enough to keep himself, 
 so one day he joined a ship that was about leaving for 
 Hamburg. On board the ship he got acquainted with 
 a German, who told him he was in the circus and show 
 business in America, but was now going back to Ger- 
 many to start a company there. 
 
 "He as'd me how much wages I was gettin' on do 
 ship, an' I told him thirty dollahs a month. He sez 
 to me, ' Wouldn't yo' like to earn fo'ty dollahs insted of 
 thirty?' Sez I, ' Well, I guess I would, boss.' So, scz 
 he, ' When we git to Hamburg, if yo'll go wid me, I'll 
 pay yo' fo'ty dollahs a month.' 
 
 4* 
 
42 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 
 
 "De bargain was soon made, so wen we got to Ham- 
 burg, I went wid him. I didn't know what he wanted 
 me to do; I didn't know weddah, p'raps he wanted me 
 to ride in a circus, or to 'xplain de animals, or to act, — 
 p'raps Otello, or suffin' of dat sort. At Hamburg he 
 got hold of anoder man, a Spaniard by birth, from 
 Brazil, an' he took us two to Frankfort, but we didn't 
 know yet what we wos to do. 
 
 " One day he goes out, an' he cums home agin' an' 
 brings a leopard-skin and some feathers wid him, an' 
 he sez to me, ^ Now, Abe,' sez he, ' yo' got to take off all 
 yo' close, an' to put on dis skin an' put dese feddahs 
 in yo' wool, an' yo' got ter play de wile Injun !' 
 
 *'I tole him I didn't know how to play wile Injun, 
 an' dat I wouldn't take off my close; but he soon tole 
 me dat I hadn't any money to live on, an' dat I was 
 in a strange country, an' dat if I didn't do what he 
 wanted me, he'd give me over to de police ; so I was 
 skeered, an' I had to take off all my close. Den ho 
 dressed me up right bizzness-like, an' he put a big ring 
 dat had a spring in it in my nose, an' oder rings in my 
 ears, an' den he shows me how to dance, an' how to 
 holler. De ring, sah, pinched my nose, but he tole me 
 I'd soon git use to dat. I didn't find de work wery 
 ha'ad so fur; I soon learn' de wa'-dance, an' de wa'- 
 hoop, an' to frow de tomahawk, an' to shoot, but den 
 he come to me, an' he sez, ^ Now, Abe, yo' got to learn to 
 eat live pidgins,' an' he fotched one in. But I couldn't 
 do dat, sah. Den de odder man comes in, de Spaniard, 
 — he'd bin playin' wile Injun befo'; but he never tole 
 me so, an' he knew all about it. Den dey bof gets at 
 me togedder, an' dey cuffs me, an' licks me, an' dey 
 makes me bite into de pidgin's neck. Oh, sah, de 
 feddahs an' de little bones, dey git in my throat an' 
 most choke me, an' I got awful sick afterwards. But de 
 man told me I got to do dat, or else starve, or go to de 
 police. After dat, he comes an' he brings me a couple 
 of tumblers, an' he sez, *Now, Abe, yo' got to smash 
 dese tumblers wid yo'r fist to show de people how 
 strong yo' are.' An' look heah, sah, all dese scars I got 
 smashing up glass tings wid my fist." 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 43 
 
 Here he pulled up bis coat-sleeve and showed several 
 scars on his arm, but they appeared to me to be very 
 old scars, and were probably caused by something 
 else. 
 
 He then went on to tell me that after a week's re- 
 hearsal at Frankfort, in which his colleague, the Span- 
 iard, also put him up to many of the niceties of the 
 business, they came to Munich. In Frankfort, his 
 boss (the loud-mouthed man) fell in with Mrs. Krum- 
 bach, who was momentarily out of business, but with 
 a small sum of ready money in her pocket, and asso- 
 ciated himself with her. She and her son were to have 
 half the profits, the man the other half, and the Indians 
 were to be paid so and so much per week. 
 
 They came to Munich, performed here for two weeks 
 during the continuance of the fair, and then there was 
 a general smash-up. The old woman went off in one 
 direction, the man in another, and they left him and 
 his comrade here alone, in a strange country, and quite 
 penniless. He begged me again to give him a few 
 florins and some clothes, and asked me to help him to 
 get some work here. He w^as willing to do anything, 
 he said. 
 
 I was not inclined to believe his story altogether, for 
 the old lady's letter seemed quite sincere. I told him 
 he had better go round to the hotels, — that he might 
 probably get some some situation as boots, — that they 
 were often glad to have people for such places that 
 speak English. He answered that he had been round 
 to all the hotels in town, but that none of them had 
 any work for him. 
 
 An idea then struck rae. I told him to go to the 
 Academy, — that he might there be able to earn some 
 money; that it wasn't often the students or the profes- 
 sors got hold of a colored model, and that they would 
 be likely to make use of him. 
 
 At this proposal he seemed very indignant. 
 
 " What, sah, go to do 'Cademy, an' stan' dare naked 
 afore all de geu'lemen? No, sah, I couldn't do such 
 a ting to save my life." 
 
 I began to get tired of him now, and told him I 
 
44 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS, 
 
 could do nothing for him ; that he should go to the 
 Academy at once; that it was no worse to stand 
 naked before a few gentlemen than to dance and carry 
 on half naked before an indiscriminate public. I gave 
 him a trifle for his immediate needs, and he went off, 
 and I supposed that was the end of the matter. 
 
 It was some weeks after this that I stepped into a 
 small beer-house one evening, and was looking over the 
 papers, when my attention was arrested by some loud 
 talking behind me. That was nothing unusual, for the 
 talk in beer-houses generally is loud, but it seemed to 
 me that I had heard one of the voices before, though 
 I could not remember where. I looked round, and 
 there, sure enough, was the loud-mouthed man who 
 had belonged to the wild Indian show. He was en- 
 gaged in rather excited conversation with a little Jew 
 in a striped waistcoat, and the subject of the conversa- 
 tion seemed to be money. 
 
 As I was about going home, I happened to turn my 
 head, and I noticed that the loud-mouthed man was now 
 sitting alone, his companion having left him. A sudden 
 impulse seized me to gain some information from this 
 man; it was not just curiosity that prompted me, — I 
 suppose it was the nobler feeling of a desire after truth, 
 — for the statements of Mrs. Krumbach and of Chuffers 
 were so diametrically opposed to each other that they 
 certainly showed discrepancy somewhere. 
 
 I stopped in front of the man and told him how I 
 came to know about him, and that I had received a 
 letter from Mrs. Krumbach who said Chuffers owed her 
 money, and that afterwards Chuffers had come to me 
 and said that Mrs. Krumbach owed him money. 
 
 The man at once sprung to his feet, holding his hat 
 in his hand ; he was very polite, and very communica- 
 tive. He began by saying, " Now let me tell you the 
 truth of the story." He said it was perfectly true that 
 he had engaged the men, but that he had turned over 
 the business to Mrs. Krumbach, and that he had only 
 been acting as her agent. 
 
 He told his story pretty much in this way : 
 
 " That nigger's an awful blackguard. Mrs. Krum- 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS, 45 
 
 bach don't owe him any money at all ; she paid him 
 well and she treated him well, and he's got plenty of 
 money now. (With indignation :) he hungry, and got 
 nothing to eat ?^that'8 all sham ; and if he had no shirt 
 or drawers on, he took 'em off on purpose to go to you 
 to beg. (Lowering his voice, and insinuatingly:) he 
 don't owe Mrs. Krumbach money, that's true, but he 
 owes me money, the blackguard, for I lent it to him 
 privately out of my own pocket. 
 
 " When we left Munich we went to D , where 
 
 the fair commences after the one at Munich closes. At 
 
 D Chuffers was drunk almost all the time, and 
 
 we couldn't do anything with him. He was so beastly 
 drunk that instead of dancing and yelling as he ought 
 to have done, he would come on the stage and lie down 
 and go to sleep. That was enough to spoil the busi- 
 ness. When I tried to rouse him by kicking him up, 
 he got furious, and threw the hatchet at me. Such a 
 thing couldn't go on, so we told him he'd have to quit. 
 
 " But that wasn't the worst of it, sir. I had a girl at 
 
 D , and there this nigger began making love to 
 
 her and tried to cut me out. One night after the per- 
 formance 1 caught him on the street walking with my 
 girl, with his arm around her waist. I pitched into 
 him, and we had a regular fight. My girl pitched in 
 too, but she took his part, and her thumps and scratches 
 were all directed at me. I got Chuffers down on the 
 pavement at last, but the woman pulled me back by 
 the hair, and set up a dreadful screaming, or I believe I 
 would have killed the fellow. Just then a couple of 
 gens d'armes came up, arrested us all three, and took 
 us to the station-house, where we were each locked up 
 in a separate cell. 
 
 " While I was sitting there alone through the night, 
 I began to think over the matter, and I came to the 
 conclusion that it was best to let Chuffers keep the 
 woman, — she wasn't worth my love if she turned round 
 against me so for a nigger. The next morning we each 
 had a fine to pay, and as I thought my girl was begin- 
 ning to cost me a good deal, and might lead me into 
 further trouble, I considered it best to make up with 
 
46 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 
 
 Chuffers, for then he would pay me back the money he 
 owed me, — and my girl became his sweetheart. Chaf- 
 fers left us at D , and the other man ran away too; 
 
 but I didn't get my money. Oh, sir, if you could only 
 help me to get it from him. 
 
 "It's all a lie that Chuffers can't get any work, — he 
 doesn't want to work. He's got plenty of money, and 
 I'll get it out of him yet. He plays billiards all day, 
 and at night he goes to the dance-houses and drinks 
 champagne, and lives like a baron. He plays cards, sir, 
 and that's the way he gets it." 
 
 The man told his story in such a simple, straightfor- 
 ward way, that I was quite convinced my colored fellow- 
 countryman was even wilder than if he had been a real 
 Indian. 
 
 Poor Mrs. Krumbach must have got wind of this in- 
 terview, and wanted to get ahead of the loud-mouthed 
 man in his claims, or else she came spontaneously, 
 merely to seek redress for her wrongs. However that 
 may have been, it was not long after when, one after- 
 noon, she called at the office, bringing her son along with 
 her. She was a short, thick woman, with a blue cloak 
 and a sprawling umbrella. The first thing she did was 
 to burst out into a shower of tears, and as her boy drew 
 the back of his hand a couple of times across his nose, 
 I suppose his heart was full too. The woman's recital 
 w^as most pitiful. She too began by saying " now let 
 me tell you the whole truth of the story." ^ 
 
 She then informed me that wild Indians and such low 
 thinorswas not her lec:itimate business. Herlescitimate 
 business was anatomical wax-works. She had been in 
 that line of business for many years, and she had been 
 the possessor of one of the finest collections of anatomi- 
 cal preparations that was ever shown at any fair. She 
 had had one specimen in particular (of which she 
 seemed to be very proud), — a full-sized human figure 
 cut down through the middle showing the action of 
 the heart and the bowels, "just like life." It struck 
 me though that I had never heard of a live gentleman 
 cut in two and displaying his heart and bowels under 
 a glass case. She had had the breathing Venus accom- 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 47 
 
 panied by two amorettes with darts, and the wounded 
 soldier that rolled his eyes and groaned. Within the 
 last few years there had been a great deal of competi- 
 tion in wax- works, and it was hard to get public enough 
 to support such an expensive show. Her husband, who 
 used to explain the figures, died, and her son was still 
 too young to be of much assistance to her. Things 
 went worse and worse, until at length, just before the 
 closing of the fair at Frankfort, her whole collection 
 was sold out by the sheriff. Piece by piece went off 
 (at ruinous prices) to different parties ; the Venus to 
 one, the wounded soldier to another, the man with the 
 action of the heart and bowels to a third, and thus the 
 once celebrated anatomical museum was scattered, and 
 nothing was left her but a board sign, fortj^ feet long (but 
 which could be taken apart in pieces), painted blue and 
 white, with the legend " Mrs. Krumbach's Celebrated 
 Anatomical and Mechanical Museum," — for which no 
 one bid. 
 
 Here there was a fresh gush of tears. The floor was 
 already sprinkled with them. 
 
 She couldn't make use of this sign any more; it was 
 only a dead piece of lumber on her hands. As long as 
 all her beautiful wax preparations were gone, what 
 did she care for this sign ? So she left it in the lurch 
 at Frankfort. The auction sale, notwithstanding its 
 sacrificing character, left her a small sum of money in 
 hand, and that was enough to entice Herr Stiirmersberg 
 (the loud-mouthed man) to propose to her that they 
 should go into partnership with each other with the 
 Indians. 
 
 This was her complete ruin. (Fresh sobs.) 
 
 She had never had to do with such brutes before, she 
 said, and they kept her in a continual state of terror; 
 the Spaniard wasn't such a bad man, when he wasn't 
 drunk, but the nigger was a perfect devil. 
 
 The little money she had rescued from the anatomical 
 wreck he had forcibly wrenched from her. Ahnost 
 every day he came to her for money. She paid him 
 his wages when they were due, and then she paid him 
 in advance, but not satisfied with this he came again 
 
48 STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 
 
 and again, and continually, to borrow money. He 
 demanded the monej^ of her with dreadful threats. If 
 she refused, or even hesitated, he would jump at her, 
 and catch her by the throat and flourish his hatchet 
 over her head, declaring he would split her open if she 
 didn't hand him the cash. Twice he had got after her 
 with a knife and chased her all around the room until 
 she gave him what he demanded. So it came about 
 that she had given him, from time to time, thirty-eight 
 florins and forty-two kreuzers, and that she was thus 
 rendered utterly penniless. She had always hoped 
 that when his drunken spell passed over he would 
 come to his senses again, tame down and play the Avild 
 
 Indian, and work out what he owed her, but at D 
 
 he ran away from her, and she had heard that he was 
 now in Munich, leading the wildest kind of a life. She 
 had scraped together her last pennies to come to Munich 
 with her boy to hunt him up, and to try to soften his 
 heart, and to beg him to pay her; but when she saw 
 him last night, the fellow had the audacity to say he 
 didn't owe her anything, but that she still owed him, — 
 *' which, oh, Mr. Consul, is not the truth." 
 
 She couldn't tell me enough about the fellow's atro- 
 cities ; not alone that he had completely ruined her, but 
 he frightened hel* so that her nerves were completely 
 shattered, and she was subject to violent cramps. 
 (Here a fresh volley of tears, — fresh sniflles from the 
 boy.) 
 
 But the man's cruelties culminated in the circum- 
 stance which poor Mrs. Krumbach related as follows: 
 
 " You could hardly believe it, sir, that a human be- 
 ing could have such a heart of stone. When he had 
 got all my money from me, and knew that we were 
 nearly starving, this wretch came over to the little 
 tavern where I stopped last night, and while I and my 
 poor boy were gnawing a crust of bread and a rind of 
 hard cheese, he took a seat opposite us, at the same 
 table, and ordered fw;o portions of roast hare with pota- 
 toes and mushrooms, — and ate them up before our very 
 eyes." 
 
 That was the straw that broke the camel's back. 
 
STORY OF TWO WILD INDIANS. 49 
 
 That was the hare that broke down poor Mrs. Krum- 
 bach. 
 
 What could I do but give her a trifle that she could 
 get something to eat ? 
 
 She said it wasn't money she came for, as she com- 
 placently slid it into her reticule, but to ask me if 
 nothing could be done to make Chuffers pay what he 
 owed her. She thought that if Mr. Consul would take 
 the matter in hand, she would get back her due. I 
 explained to her that in her case she could only go to 
 the Bavarian authorities for redress. 
 
 "But," she said, ^'if Mr. Consul would only write to 
 the President about it." 
 
 It was with difficulty I could get rid of Mrs. Krum- 
 bach. When the door finally closed upon her, it was 
 the last I saw or heard of poor Mrs. Krumbach and 
 her sorrows. 
 
 The wild Indian never came to me again, but I saw 
 him from time to time on the street. I heard that 
 he had, when other resources gave out, gone to the 
 Academy. He must have made some money at this, 
 for he was really a good-looking fellow, healthy and 
 muscular, and was a fine model. Indeed, I had an 
 opportunity of seeing his black body on many a canvas 
 in various studios afterwards. At length he disap- 
 peared entirely. Perhaps he is eating live " pidgins" 
 at some other place now. 
 
 I find that this is the story of one wild Indian only, 
 but I presume the reader has had enough with one. 
 
50 BARNUMS ABROAD. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Barnums abroad — Zulu chieftain — Bedouin trapeze artist — American 
 Hercules — Egyptians with learned frogs — Colonel Sellers — Complaints 
 of minister to Spain — Multifarious correspondence — Inquiries in 
 regard to Munich — Man who practises animal magnetism — Prices of 
 living in various German cities — Labor, wages, and condition of work- 
 ing class — Arti6cial breeding of fish — Tobacco — Wants to be made a 
 member of Statistical Society — Hops — Bread — Telegraphs — Railroads 
 — Railroad brakes — Oiling car- wheels — Fire departments — Sugar-re- 
 fineries — Nickel-plating — Audience of the king : does he speak Eng- 
 lish — Ladies attending court ball — Newspapers in Bavaria — Statistics 
 of mortality — Slaughter-houses — Selling lands in United States — To 
 write art articles for newspapers — Preserved milk — Categorical ques- 
 tions — Fire-extinguishers — Platform scales — Lithographic stones — 
 Quarries at Soluhofen — Opening for improved coffins — Drunkenness — 
 Where to hire a piano — Where to buy a parasol — Where to get milk 
 from *' one cow." 
 
 There are Barnums (in a small way) in Europe as 
 well as in the United States. After the melancholy- 
 death of the French Prince Imperial, Zulus were in 
 demand. A showman in the ^' Natural Curiosities" line 
 came to me with a young negro, to make application 
 for a passport for him, who was performing as a Zulu 
 chieftain, clothed with a shield and an assegai, and 
 scarcely anything else. 
 
 Another colored gentleman, who came to me for as- 
 sistance, was performing as a Bedouin trapeze artist, 
 and another (also in trouble), but who came out in his 
 true colors, was picking up a living as an American 
 Hercules. The poor fellow's travelling-van had been 
 attached by the police because he was not able to pay 
 his (fair) dues. 
 
 Being on a dark subject, I will relate one other case. 
 
 Two '^ gentlemen of color," — gentlemen of the very 
 darkest dye, — of that shade in which charcoal would 
 make a white mark, called at the consulate. I asked 
 them what they wanted (in English, of course). When 
 an American meets with a negro abroad it seems to 
 
COLONEL SELLERS, 51 
 
 him a natural thing that the negro should speak only 
 English. I was therefore not a little surprised to find 
 that the two strangers did not understand me. They 
 spoke French, and a little German. They wanted my 
 assistance and intervention with the police. They 
 were in the show business, and exhibited learned frogs, 
 — frogs that went through all kinds of exercises, such 
 as drawing each other in carriages, tight-rope dancing, 
 and broadsword fighting. The police authorities had 
 refused to give these. men permission to exhibit in 
 Munich, because their performances with their froggies 
 were looked upon as coming under the category of 
 cruelty to animals. They wanted me to use my good 
 influence in controverting that extreme view of the 
 police, and offered to give me a private performance, 
 and to show me how their amphibians were trained, 
 that I might convince myself of the gentle treatment 
 the frogs received at their hands, and of the alacrity 
 with which they did everything that was required of 
 them. In fact, they assured me the frogs rather en- 
 Joyed it, and intimated that they were actually jump- 
 ing for a chance to show their feats. As one of the 
 fellows here made a motion of his hand towards his 
 breast, I began to fear he might have some of his pets 
 about him, and was going to demonstrate on the spot, 
 and it flashed through my mind what a demoralizing 
 spectacle it would be if a party of staid Americans 
 should happen to drop in and see the consul surrounded 
 with such festive vermin. 
 
 On inquir}^ I found out that the men were Egyptians. 
 I was glad to be able to tell them that they were in 
 the wrong shop, and I turned them and their frogs 
 over to the tender mercies of the Turkish consul. 
 
 I do not know when the character of Colonel Sellers 
 was first conceived, but, at any rate, long before he 
 made his appearance on the stage I knew a man in 
 Munich who was equally sanguine and equally ingeni- 
 ous in his schemes for making his own and everybody 
 else's fortune. He hadn't done it for himself yet when 
 I first made his acquaintance. He had only got so far 
 
52 COLONEL SELLERS. 
 
 as having a large family of small children, with a sure 
 promise of increase to it. He had served in some public 
 capacity at home, and had come to Germany for his 
 health, or for his wife's health, or for somebody's 
 health. At any rate, he had been living for some 
 months at Munich, and every time he called on me he 
 enlarged on some new business project he was about to 
 go into. He was very fond of writing letters, too, in 
 true Micawber style. In his first letter he communi- 
 cated to me that he was about embarking in a splendid 
 enterprise. Having, unfortunately, just at that moment 
 no capital, he was going to send a petition to the king, 
 and he wanted me to recommend him to His Majesty, 
 and to exert my good offices with the king in con- 
 vincing him of the national importance of the proposed 
 speculation. 
 
 My optimistic acquaintance was going to buy up all 
 the kid gloves manufactured in Munich and export 
 them to the United States. By becoming the exclu- 
 sive purchaser he would be able to get the goods at 
 lower prices, and, by extending the demand for the 
 article, manufacturers would be able to work cheaper 
 than hitherto. He would be able to sell his wares at 
 home at such a low rate that all competition would be 
 driven out of the market, and, having succeeded thus 
 far, he would also become exclusive seller in the United 
 States, and could then make his prices as he pleased. 
 
 He demonstrated that he would be benefiting both 
 countries (but particularly Bavaria) with his grand 
 scheme ; and he only wanted the king to advance him 
 twenty thousand florins, which he would soon be able 
 to repay him at a rate of interest that would astonish 
 His Majesty. 
 
 Only nine days after this (it was at the time of the 
 Franco-German war) came a second letter. He had 
 come down a peg in his aspirations. It was not the 
 king, now, he wanted me to win over, but the Eoyal 
 Bavarian Minister of the Koyal Household and for 
 Foreign Aff'airs. He requested me to call on the min- 
 ister, and to get him to use his influence in procuring 
 for my friend an appointment as officer in the German 
 
COLONEL SELLERS. 53 
 
 army. He was willing to go down as low as the rank 
 of captain, for he knew that in a time of activity, where 
 the soldier had a chance to display his talents in the 
 field, he would soon advance to the top. He was kind 
 enough to tell me in his letter (to save me trouble) just 
 what I should say to the minister in his favor. He 
 gave me a long list of the positions of trust and honor 
 he had held in the United States, and of his own 
 achievements in the military line. Besides, he had 
 always, he said, been a great admirer of the German na- 
 tion ; had always taken a lively interest in its welfare ; 
 bad always exerted himself to glorify its deeds of arms. 
 
 He was too late with his offer; for the Germans, 
 seeing by that time that they were likely to win, did 
 not want any outside help. 
 
 When this project fell through he was quite pros- 
 trated. He had given up the glove business, because 
 he considered the profession of arms a much nobler 
 occupation, and thought that in time of war he with 
 his inventive resources could make it remunerative. 
 He was now in despair. 
 
 Certain events at home, which could not be put off, 
 took place. He found himself richer in one respect, 
 but pecuniarily he was worse off than ever. This last 
 disappointment weighed so heavily on his mind that 
 he was in danger of losing it. A gentleman who lived 
 in the same house, on the floor below him, came to me 
 in a state of the greatest apprehension. He said tlie 
 man above him kept walking the floor incessantly, 
 groaning and tearing his hair; and he was sure that 
 before long the gentleman would commit suicide, as he 
 was continually calling for a pistol, with which to put 
 an end to his miserable existence. What then would 
 become of the wife and all the children ? Besides, how 
 horrible would it be for himself if such a tragedy were 
 enacted over his htiad, with the blood, perhaps, oozing 
 through the ceiling. 
 
 Things did seem to bo looking very black, and I was 
 considering what ought to be done in such a case, 
 when, that very same afternoon, my desponding coun- 
 tryman himself made his appearance. I felt very 
 
 6* 
 
B4 COLONEL SELLERS, 
 
 nervous when he came in, for I had a vague impression 
 that perhaps, not wishing to disturb his family, he had 
 brought his pistol with him, and was going to finish 
 himself off at the consulate. 
 
 But my first glance reassured me. My friend did 
 not look dishevelled, nor show any signs of conster- 
 nation, but, on the contrary, wore a smile on his face, 
 and was in the highest of spirits. He grasped me 
 warmly by the hand, and said that he had now found 
 out something, — the thing. 
 
 He had accidentally come across a man who had 
 made a most important and useful invention, but, being 
 a poor devil without friends, he w^as willing to sell it 
 for a mere song. My sanguine fellow-countryman 
 Baid it would never do to let such an opportunity slip. 
 All he wanted of me was to advance a few thousand 
 florins. We would then buy the invention, have it 
 patented all over the world, and, the patents once 
 secured, we would start the working of the thing on a 
 grand scale on the spot. 
 
 '' It's the greatest chance I ever heard of," said he. 
 ^^ There's millions in it." 
 
 After having made a very flattering computation of 
 the profits for the first year, which, he said, would be 
 doubled the next, I ventured to ask him in a difiident 
 manner (for his calculations rather dazed me) what the 
 invention might be. 
 
 " It's a new system of pitching," said he, quite tri- 
 umphantly. 
 
 I was greatly perplexed even after this disclosure, 
 for, misled by the association of ideas that sprang up 
 in my mind, I w^as in doubt whether it had any refer- 
 ence to the motions of a vessel, or to the pitching of 
 quoits, or to the still nobler game of pitch and toss ; 
 perhaps it was a method for making heads always win. 
 The idea really had some poetry in.it, till he explained 
 that the invention in question had relation to a new 
 system of pitching beer-barrels. I do not recollect 
 now — did not exactly understand at the time — how 
 the thing was to be done, but from that moment I lost 
 all interest in it. 
 
MULTIFARIOUS CORRESPONDENCE. 55 
 
 He was now quite despondent again and cursed his 
 fate, and was going home to shoot himself again; but it 
 was not many w^eeks before he came with another 
 scheme, — and again with another. 
 
 At last he got hold of something that was the real 
 thing, — there was no mistake about it this time. 
 
 I was not sorry to find that this real thing w^as not 
 in Bavaria, but far off, and as it was to be secured at 
 once, it necessitated his leaving suddenly with his 
 whole family. 
 
 One of our ministers to Spain once wrote to the De- 
 partment complaining of the multifarious correspond- 
 ence with which the Legation, in addition to its legiti- 
 mate duties, was burdened, by applications from pri- 
 vate individuals for mercantile, political, statistical, and 
 miscellaneous information : many of these requests, 
 he said, if properly attended to, would involve a vast 
 amount of research and labor, and take up a consider- 
 able amount of time, "and," he added, "it was not en- 
 couraging to have days of patient eifort pass without 
 even thanks to stimulate like efforts in future." But 
 he was only a minister, and people comparatively spare 
 a minister when they know that a consul is the right 
 person for them to attack. I suppose every officer in 
 our foreign service would have like material to com- 
 ment upon to the Department of State if he were dis- 
 posed to do so, but neither the head of our home office 
 nor his assistants would be likely to manifest further 
 interest in the subject than that contained in the reply: 
 " Your dispatch. No. 999, has been received. I am, sir, 
 etc." I will recite here a few of the wants, made both 
 verbally and by letter, that were presented to my con- 
 sulate, and which, I may conscientiously add, I tried to 
 answer fully and to the best of my ability. 
 
 Of course, it is not necessary to more than allude to 
 the numerous inquiries in regard to Munich itself, — 
 its climate, its sanitary condition, its advantages for 
 business or for pleasure ; in regard to the cost of living 
 there; in regard to its hotels, and whether they are 
 clean and comfortable, and moderate in their charges; 
 
56 MULTIFARIOUS CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 in regard to schools and other institutes of learning ; 
 in regard to the facilities for studying art, music, medi- 
 cine, chemistry, languages, etc. ; in regard to teachers, 
 lawyers, doctors, dentists, chiropodists, etc. One lady 
 was in search of a man who " practises animal mag- 
 netism for her three daughters who are ill," and wanted 
 particularly to know whether he was '^ an intelligent 
 man." 
 
 Some parties not only wanted the prices of living, 
 schooling, etc., at Munich, but asked me to make out 
 comparative tables of such prices for Munich, Stuttgart, 
 Dresden, and other cities. 
 
 In regard to information concerning labor, wages, 
 and condition of the laboring classes as already referred 
 to in speaking of consular reports to the State Depart- 
 ment, I received dozens of communications from states, 
 corporations, and humane individuals who had the wel- 
 fare of the w^orking-man at heart. 
 
 One party wanted to know all about the artificial 
 breeding of fish as practised in Bavaria, and asked me 
 to call on a certain gentleman noted for his success in 
 this line, and to " find out from him all you can." 
 
 Another modestly asked the consul to give him a full 
 report on the " cultivation, production, and commerce 
 of tobacco in any foreign country which has been 
 visited by the consul, or in the country in which he 
 resides," — and to make it easy for him a schedule of 
 sixty-one questions to be answered was submitted con- 
 cerning the subject. 
 
 A gentleman on this side, equally interested in the 
 weed, sends an elaborate historical and scientific essay 
 on the plant, and wants the consul to forward it to the 
 Statistical Society of New York, and to manage that 
 he (the writer) may be made a member of that society, 
 and be furnished ^\\i\\ the usual diploma; he will be 
 much obliged to the consul if he will do this for him. 
 
 Of course, being in a country where the best hops in 
 the world are raised, this plant came in for a full share 
 of my investigation. 
 
 The board of health of New York is interested in the 
 staff' of life, and inquires into the police regulations of 
 
MULTIFARIOUS CORRESPONDENCE. 57 
 
 Munich in regard to the making, baking, and selling 
 of bread ; — what are its component parts ; what are its 
 qualities, price, weight, and how are these controlled 
 by the police ; in what way are the regulations carried 
 out, and what are the punishments for fraud and 
 adulteration. 
 
 One party wants to be posted on the telegraphs and 
 telegraph system of Bavaria, another, on the railroads 
 and railroad system ; a third confines his wishes to in- 
 formation in regard to railroad brakes as used in 
 Bavaria (Haberlein's system) ; while a fourth, still more 
 modest, wants me to '^find out all about a patent 
 method of oiling car-wheels to prevent the boxes get- 
 ting hot, said to be used on the Bavarian railroads for 
 some years past.'* 
 
 One letter asks for information in regard to the 
 strength, efficiency, and method of working of the fire 
 departments in Bavarian cities; another wishes a reply 
 in regard to sugar-refineries, and another in regard to 
 nickel-plating, while still another inquires how a 
 person must go about getting an audience of the king, 
 and whether the king speaks English. 
 
 Some ladies, royally disposed, were anxious to at- 
 tend a court ball. I did my best for them (for fear 
 of the consequences if I should appear lukewarm in 
 seconding their ardent desire). The answer of the 
 Eoyal Master of Ceremonies was couched in such 
 politely, diplomatically turned sentences that the ladies 
 experienced quite a feeling of satisfaction in hearing 
 how very deeply His Majesty regretted not being able 
 to have the pleasure of making their acquaintance, for 
 the reason of the time being so short (the letter was 
 written on the day that the ball was to take place). 
 
 One gentleman desires the consul to send him a list 
 of all newspapers and periodicals printed in Bavaria, 
 with their price, size, circulation, and tendencies; 
 another begs for statistics of mortality. 
 
 A board of health of one of our cities wants the 
 consul to investigate the arrangements and working of 
 the slaughter-houses; it has heard that a sort of mask 
 is used over the head of the ox to prevent it from seeing 
 
58 MULTIFARIOUS CORRESPONDENCE, 
 
 the man with the axe, and to make the stroke in- 
 fallibly deadly: it wants to know if the living oxen see 
 the others killed, and whether anything is done to 
 alleviate pain in the butchering; it also wants to know 
 the consul's opinion as to whether the ox has any con- 
 sciousness of what is going on around him, and if the 
 smell of the fresh blood seems to affect him. 
 
 I am almost ashamed to say that my studies in ox- 
 ology had been so neglected in my youth, that I did not 
 feel competent to offer my speculations on the last two 
 questions. 
 
 Once I was called upon by an incorporated company 
 to assist in selling land in the United States to Bava- 
 rians, and about the same time an editor of a conti- 
 nental English journal requested me to write some art 
 articles and notices of American artists in Munich for 
 his paper. He would be very happy to print them, he 
 said, and hoped that next year, when his paper had got 
 a better footing, he would be able to pay liberally for 
 my subsequent productions. All that was very flatter- 
 ing, but I was once still more flattered by the confidence 
 placed in my judgment, of a gentleman who wrote 
 asking me to get Professor Baron von Liebig's opinion 
 of preserved milk, and to give him also my opinion of 
 it. 
 
 Sometimes the information sought for is to be given 
 in a series of answers to a direct line of questions put 
 in quite a familiar way. A woman, who, it appears, 
 has money owing to her by a Bavarian officer, and who 
 has some trouble in getting it back, sends nineteen ques- 
 tions, regularly numbered, the last of which is, "Now 
 how in the world could an officer go and make debts, 
 and, in spite of his fortune, not have to pay them, and 
 how could he get advanced from captain to lieutenant- 
 colonel, when the city court must have known of his 
 debts r 
 
 I was obliged to " give it up." 
 
 A gentleman "down East" wants me to tell him all 
 I know about chemical fire-extinguishers, while another 
 wants to know what system of platform scales is used 
 in Germany, and a third is interested in lithographic 
 
MULTIFARIOUS CORRESPONDENCE. 59 
 
 stones. I may remark here that the quarries of Solu- 
 hofen, in Bavaria, are the only ones in the world that 
 produce the peculiar stone used for the finer kinds of 
 artistic printing, — there is nothing elsewhere that equals 
 it. It is curious that so near to the city where the art 
 of lithography was discovered and perfected, the only 
 stones suitable for its purpose should have been lying 
 for thousands of years undisturbed and ready for Sen- 
 nefelder's hand.''' 
 
 The gentleman who wrote to me was particular in 
 his inquiries. He says, " Please inform me what sort of 
 stone is, or was, found near the surface ; was it in boul- 
 ders or in slabs ? How deep is it necessary to go before 
 good stone (perfect enough for printing) is found ? Is 
 it much harder on the surface than in the ground ? Are 
 the quarries on a hill-side or in a valley ? Does the 
 color change as the quarries are penetrated ? etc. Give 
 me all the information you can." 
 
 It will be seen from the foregoing what a goodly 
 scope of subjects is presented to the consular mind for 
 rumination. One jovial man, who was undertaking in 
 more senses than one, even wanted to ascertain if there 
 was no opening in Bavaria for his improved coffins, and 
 sent me a ver}^ prettily illustmted catalogue of his 
 wares as a bait to catch purchasers for his luxuries. 
 But the favorite subject of inquiry from our side of the 
 water was in regard to the consumption of wine and 
 beer and their effects on the population, — in short, in 
 regard to drunkenness. One clergyman Avanted to 
 know " at once*' all about i^^ These persons generally 
 requested information in extenso, and accompanied by 
 published reports and statistics, and they would be 
 happy to " remit" upon their receipt. I am sorry to 
 have to say that on a couple of occasions the gentlemen 
 whom I had fattened up with manuscript and printed 
 documents forgot both their thanks and their remit- 
 tance. On one occasion, a reverend gentleman was so 
 very particular in his inquiries, going into the niceties 
 
 ^ Lithography was invented by Sennofoldor at Munich, towards tho 
 dose of the last century. 
 
60 SOMETHING ABOUT FIDDLES, 
 
 of the different qualities of intoxication resulting from 
 the drinking of beer compared with that from wine or 
 spirits (as if I had tried them all, — I mean the intoxi- 
 cations), that I felt inclined to invite him to come over 
 to Munich and go to the court brewery with me, where 
 I would soon give him an opportunity of seeing just 
 twice as much as he generally does with one pair of 
 eyes. 
 
 But to conclude this long recital of a consul's minor 
 activity, I will only mention further how a lady sends 
 an exhaustive letter, the gist of which is to ask where 
 she can hire a good piano by the month, and what it 
 ought to cost, while another lady came in person to 
 consult me as to the best place to buy a parasol, and 
 how a gentleman rushed in one morning, almost breath- 
 less, with a little tin can in his hand, to know " where 
 in the mischief" he could get ^' milk from one cow." 
 He was a young man, and it was evidently his first 
 baby, and I could vividly picture to myself, from the 
 cheesy pallor of his countenance, the terrors of the 
 night's screaming he had gone through. I happened 
 to know that " one cow," — it was just around the cor- 
 ner, and I sent him on his way rejoicing. 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 Something about fiddles — How many fiddles in the United States — Mit- 
 tenwald — Jacob Stainer — Andreas Hofer and Stainer — Matthias Klotz 
 — Neuner A Hornsteiner, Baader <fe Co. — Difference in build of violins 
 — Origin of the violin — Zithers — Concert at Mittenwald — " Isar roll- 
 ing rapidly." 
 
 If any one wanted to investigate the question as to 
 whether we are a musical people or not, I think he 
 need only take a census of the pianos in the United 
 States, and he would find that there are at least one 
 and a half instruments to each man, woman, and child 
 
SOMETHING ABOUT FIDDLES. 61 
 
 of the whole population. I give this estimate as based 
 upon the published statements of the piano manufac- 
 turers themselves in their advertisements (for, like the 
 sewing-machine men, they try to outdo each other by 
 telling us how many hundreds of thousands of their 
 contrivances of torture are in use). 
 
 Now, the piano is a popular instrument, and the 
 number of fingers that work upon it daily and nightly 
 (I won*t say play), if put to some useful occupation, 
 would add millions to the treasury, as the statisticians 
 say. Besides, the piano is a pleasing and graceful piece 
 of furniture, and looks well in a room ; the owner is 
 proud of it, and likes to show it, and takes good care 
 that people in the street who can't see it shall hear it. 
 There is no mystery about the piano : we know it is 
 there. 
 
 But take the fiddle. There are very few people who 
 ever think about a fiddle. Its very insignificance has 
 given rise to the saying, " I don't care a fiddle for it," 
 and anything that is trivial in its nature we call "fid- 
 dling faddling," and when we want to express con- 
 tempt for any remark or opinion we say, " fiddle de 
 dee," and even the unoffending performer on this in- 
 strument does not escape the contumely of having a 
 person in the last stages of intoxication characterized 
 as being " drunk as a fiddler." 
 
 This would all seem to prove that the fiddle is not 
 popular with us either subjectively or objectively, and 
 one would suppose, therefore, that w^e as a nation 
 owned very few fiddles, and yet such is not the case. 
 Indeed, since 1 have been consul I have even been 
 sorely vexed in my brain by trying to solve the difii- 
 cult conundrum, "What becomes of all the fiddles?" 
 To me the solution seems much more give-it-upablo 
 than that of the older question of " What becomes of 
 all the pins?" I have made a careful computation, 
 and find that there are about fifty thousand violins ex- 
 ported every year to the United States. Now, that is 
 only one instrument to every one thousand of our pop- 
 ulation ; true, but then one must consider that a fiddlo 
 is not a thing that is soon used up, or a thing whoso 
 
 G 
 
62 FIDDLES IN THE UNITED STATES. 
 
 form is subject to the changes of fashion, or a thing 
 which is only good in a fresh state. On the contrary, 
 there is every inducement to keep it as long as possi- 
 ble, for a good violin is like good wine : it improves by 
 age, and becomes more valuable as years pass over it. 
 It appears, therefore, that a violin is not a thing that 
 would be wantonly destroyed ; as fuel they cannot be 
 advantageously employed, as the amount of heat pro- 
 duced by their combustion is so trifling in comparison 
 to their bulk, that even the laziest man is convinced 
 that it is better to go to the back shed and chop his 
 wood honestly, if he wants his pot to boil, than to rely 
 on his fiddle for that purpose. Though a fiddle may 
 sometimes be used to knock a man over the head with 
 (in which encounters the fiddle suffers more damage 
 than the head), such performances are comparatively 
 rare. Again, a fiddle is not a thing that can be 
 converted into a table or a work-bench, or a book- 
 case, or even a receptacle for dried apples, as one often 
 finds an old piano used in countr}^ places. Its limited 
 dimensions preclude all such uses. The disappearance 
 of a fiddle, therefore, has something mysterious about 
 it ; but I know they do disappear in some way, other- 
 wise we would be overflooded by them by this time. 
 
 Now, allowing for all the vicissitudes of life, if we take 
 only ten years as the average age attained by a violin 
 we will see that we have a standing army of five hun- 
 dred thousand fiddles, which would be one to each hun- 
 dred of our population. But ladies, with but very few 
 exceptions, do not use a fiddle ; it is properl}^ a weapon 
 for the sterner sex, and for the sterner sex indeed only 
 after it has emerged from the innocence of childhood 
 (we know that some of our Congressmen are addicted 
 to the fiddle, — it would be well if they were addicted 
 to nothing worse). If, then, we deduct from the whole 
 population the number of females, of males under ten 
 years, and of " Indians not taxed," we arrive at the 
 astonishing conclusion that there is one violin in our 
 land to about every twenty-five men. Now, if I put 
 down the whole number of my gentleman acquaint- 
 ances at five hundred, I ought to know about twenty 
 
MITTEN WALD. 63 
 
 men who own violins; but I don't; I don't think I 
 know the eighth of one man to a hundred who has 
 one, and so the question comes up again in my mind, 
 What becomes of all the fiddles? 
 
 From the consular district of Munich about seven 
 thousand violins are exported to our shores every year. 
 These instruments are generally of a better quality 
 than those sent from Saxony and other places, and are 
 somewhat higher in price. They are made at a little 
 village in the south of Bavaria, close upon the borders 
 of Tyrol, — at Mittenwald. 
 
 The Isar is a picturesque stream from its source in 
 the Tyrolese Alps, and throughout all its windings to 
 where it flows into the Inn, at Deggendorf, whose 
 waters have but a short flow until they mingle with 
 those of the Danube. But scarce at any part is the 
 Isar so wildly lovely as near where it takes its rise in 
 the Karwendel Mountains, which tower to a height of 
 over seven thousand feet. Here, wedged in between 
 the rocky buttresses of the Bavarian Alps, and in 
 the valley of the young Isar, lies Mittenwald, at the 
 very foot of the gigantic walls w^hich in winter admit 
 the sunlight only for a couple of short hours, and even 
 in summer throw their shadows over the valley long, 
 long before the sun has left the world on the western 
 side of the rugged mountain ridge. 
 
 Mittenwald is now a quiet little market town, shut 
 out from the line of travel, and only visited by those 
 who delight in the beauty and grandeur of nature. 
 Every ten years, when the Passion Play at Oberam- 
 mergau is performed, some few foreign tourists make a 
 foot trip from there to Partenkirchen and Mittenwald, 
 and thence on to Lake Kochel, but at other times the 
 route is little traversed except by Bavarians. 
 
 Some four centuries ago, the shady road, now almost 
 deserted, which follows the windings of the Isar almost 
 as far as Lake Walchen, was the bustling highway over 
 which the riches of foreign lands, gathered together in 
 the lap of mighty Venice and sent by her into the 
 great Empire of Germany, all took their way. Those 
 
64 JACOB STAINER. 
 
 indeed were different days for Mitten wald, — those were 
 her golden days, and she rose to the zenith of her im- 
 portance when, in the year 1487, the great Italian fair 
 which up to that time had been held at Bozen was 
 transferred there. Mittenwald at once became the 
 commercial centre for the trade between Italy and 
 Germany. Here the Venetian merchants settled their 
 annual reckonings with their German customers. Im- 
 perial gold flowed freely in exchange for the articles 
 of luxury of which, at that time, proud Venice was the 
 dispenser to all parts of the civilized world. Rich and 
 tempting wares were displayed in the booths; the 
 productions of far-off lands were exposed for sale. 
 Festivities and merry-makings of all kinds took place, 
 and people were attracted from great distances and 
 from many countries to this fair, either for the pur- 
 poses of business or of pleasure, or of both. 
 
 But this prosperity lasted only for two centuries, 
 when the fair, for some reason not fully explained, 
 w^as, as suddenly as it had been transferred to Mitten- 
 wald, restored again to its original seat, Bozen. At 
 once the life and splendor which Mittenwald had re- 
 ceived through the great fair vanished with it, and the 
 wealth and importance of the place gradually declined. 
 New roads began to be opened between Italy and Ger- 
 many, and the former immense traffic of Mittenwald 
 soon flowed through other channels. The place being 
 now deserted as a mart of commerce, and, owing to 
 the rocky nature of the country around, there being no 
 resources to be had from agriculture, its people gradu- 
 ally fell into poverty. 
 
 It was about this time that the manufacture of vio- 
 lins at Mittenwald commenced. 
 
 But I must here leave Mittenwald for a moment to 
 speak of the first manufacture of violins at a little 
 village some miles south of it, in Tyrol. 
 
 Up to the end of the sixteenth century, musical in- 
 struments, especially stringed instruments, were only 
 made, to any extent, in Italy. At that time, when 
 Italy was the blooming garden of all the arts, she was 
 
JACOB STAINER. 65 
 
 also celebrated for the wonderful violins made by Stra- 
 duarius, Guarnerius, Amati, and others, masterpieces 
 of skill, and which at the present day are worth more 
 than their weight in gold. 
 
 In the year 1627 a poor peasant-woman by the name 
 of Stainer, living at Absam, in the valley of the Inn, 
 gave birth to a son. The boy was weakly in body, but 
 his mind developed rapidly, and it soon became ap- 
 parent that he was more than ordinarily gifted, and, 
 especially, that he had a natural turn for music. The 
 kind priest of Absam, a friend of the family, and him- 
 self as poor as the peasants around him, was one of the 
 first to recognize the genius of young Stainer, and he 
 persuaded the father not to make a peasant of the boy 
 like himself, but to put him to an organ- builder in the 
 neighborhood to learn the trade, thinking that thereby 
 his young charge would have opportunities of perfect- 
 ing himself in music. But it was soon found that the 
 lad was not strong enough to perform the work in the 
 construction of such large instruments, many of the 
 pieces which he necessarily had to handle being very 
 heavy ; his master himself then made the proposition 
 to the elder Stainer that his son should leave him and 
 be put to learn the making of violins instead. 
 
 There were no violin-makers in the neighborhood, 
 and it was no small sacrifice the poor parents were 
 called upon to make in order to send their son to Italy. 
 It is very likely the good priest at Absam contributed 
 his mite, too, for the journey. At any rate, the boy 
 was sent to Cremona, and was taken into apprentice- 
 ship by Nicholas Amati, who also soon became con- 
 vinced of his great musical talents and admired his 
 genius. Amati took a great personal liking to Jacob 
 Stainer, which increased from year to year. The liking 
 of master and pupil for each other seems to have been 
 equally strong on both sides; they got to be, notwith- 
 standing the disparity in age and station, intimate and 
 inseparable friends. Amati initiated young Jacob into 
 all the secrets of his profession, and openly confided to 
 him all he had learned through long experience and 
 constant practice. Years passed on; the lad grew up 
 e 6* 
 
66 JACOB STAIN ER, 
 
 to manhood ; he was still as industrious and eager to 
 excel as ever, but a shade seemed to be thrown over 
 his spirits. He became quieter, and gradually more 
 reserved in his manner towards his master. 
 
 Amati had a daughter, — she was no doubt young 
 and lovely, — but Stainer being of a shy nature began 
 to feel ill at ease in his master's house, and when forced 
 into conversation with the girl, addressed her only in 
 the most distant terms. He began to talk of leaving 
 Cremona, under pretence of wanting to see more of the 
 world, and further, to perfect himself in his musical 
 studies. Amati was distressed at the thought of 
 Stainer leaving him, and imagined that he had found 
 out the secret cause of the youth's uneasiness. He 
 was anxious to retain Stainer permanently at Cre- 
 mona, and thinking the latter's diflSdence might pre- 
 vent him for a long time from making any advances 
 towards his daughter, resolved to cut the matter short 
 by proposing to Stainer that he should marry her. 
 Here seemed to be a solution of the difficulty, which 
 the young man would eagerly accept; what was 
 Amati's astonishment and chagrin, therefore, on awak- 
 ing next morning, to find that Stainer had disappeared. 
 He was nowhere to be found. 
 
 It is supposed that Stainer, being of a dreamy nature, 
 had already formed an attachment, even as a child, in 
 his native village, which still held possession of his 
 heart ; at any rate, the prospect of being kindly forced 
 into a marriage with Amati's daughter seems to have 
 frightened him. He secretly left Cremona and fled to 
 Venice, where he worked for some time with Vimercati, 
 
 He had now thoroughly learned his trade, — he had 
 learned to make those wondrous shells of wood which, 
 when deftly handled, give forth such entrancing tones ; 
 and being a good musician besides, he was able to test 
 practically what his hands had fashioned. He soon 
 returned to his native village in the broad valley of 
 the Inn, and married there. Through his great in- 
 dustry and energy, and on account of the superiority 
 of his instruments, which were considered equal to 
 those of the Italian masters, his fame rapidly spread, 
 
JACOB STAIN ER. 67 
 
 and it was not long before he received the title of 
 court violin-maker, first from Archduke Ferdinand 
 Charles of Tyrol, and soon afterwards from the Ger- 
 man Emperor, Leopold of Austria. 
 
 But dark days were in store for Stainer towards the 
 close of his life. 
 
 At the fair at Hall, near Innspruck, where Stainer had 
 gone to sell some of his instruments, he happened, out 
 of mere curiosity, to buy a Lutheran book of a wan- 
 dering peddler. The mere handling of such a book at 
 that time, in the very heart of Catholic Tyrol, was 
 looked upon as an abomination, and this thoughtless 
 act of his drew upon him the suspicion of heresy. The 
 intolerance of the Jesuits hunted him down, even to 
 the foot of the throne, so that Stainer thereby lost the 
 protection which the Emperor had hitherto extended 
 to him, and, falling into debt shortly afterwards, a 
 humble petition for assistance which he sent to the 
 Emperor was entirely disregarded. 
 
 Stainer had a large family, and poverty came creep- 
 ing on him. He had never been a good business man, 
 and now that age was coming on too, he began to be 
 haunted with the idea that he had sold his instruments 
 too cheap, and that through his own want of tact his 
 family had now to suffer. He fell into a state of deep 
 melancholy which soon ripened into raving insanity. 
 He was only relieved from these tortures by death, 
 some four or five years afterwards. At his home at 
 Absam a bench is still shown, upon which the poor old 
 man was bound during his paroxysms of madness. 
 
 Next to Hofer, the victim of Napoleon's cruelty, 
 there is no name so well known to the Tyrolese as that 
 of Stainer. His whole history is somewhat clothed 
 in mystery, and many are the legends related by the 
 simple people of this weird musician who made his own 
 instruments, and drew from their strings the most won- 
 derful and heart-touching melodies as he wandered 
 through the rocky passes and the wild forests of his 
 native land. This much is certain, that Stainer first 
 introduced the manufacture of violins into Germany. 
 Ho departed from the Italian form in the build of the 
 
68 MATTHIAS KLOTZ. 
 
 instrument, and made many improvements in its con- 
 struction. Through Stainer, indirectly, the manufac- 
 ture of violins was established at Mittenwald. 
 
 As I have already stated, at the time the great Ital- 
 ian fair, as it was called, was removed from Mittenwald 
 to its original site, Bozen, and when new roads were 
 opened for the traffic which formerly passed through 
 Mittenwald, the town lost its importance and itswealth. 
 Its inhabitants became poorer and poorer, and a crisis 
 seemed impending. 
 
 At last one of Mittenwald's sons arose like a savior, 
 at this extremity, to ward off destruction from his 
 native town. He conceived the idea of introducing 
 the manufacture of violins into Mittenwald, and he 
 hoped in time to make it a second Cremona. This 
 man's name was Matthias Klotz. His father, Egidius 
 Klotz, originally a poor peasant, was a violin-maker; 
 he had learned the art of Stainer at Absam. He was 
 Stainer's best pupil, and had already made instruments 
 which were considered as good as those of his master. 
 Egidius Klotz, after he had left Absam and returned to 
 Mittenwald, had instructed his son Matthias in his art. 
 Matthias, in his youth, had visited the greater part 
 of Upper Italy, and had worked there under the best 
 masters, especially at Cremona and Florence. The 
 father and son were quite alone at their trade at Mit- 
 tenwald. The son thought he would soon be able to 
 instruct the simple villagers in the making of the sev- 
 eral parts of the instrument, which could then be put 
 together under his superintendence, and that thus re- 
 munerative employment might be furnished to almost 
 every inhabitant of the place. He took into consider- 
 ation, too, that the very best wood for the purpose 
 grew in abundance in the great Bavarian forest, and 
 especially round about Mittenwald itself He knew 
 that this wood was preferred b}' all the Italian makers ; 
 here he had it close at hand, and could select it and 
 season it to suit his purpose. This wood is the so-called 
 hazel-pine : it grows in lean soil in deep valleys where 
 it is best protected from storms. The rings arc lar 
 
MATTHIAS KLOTZ, 69 
 
 apart, and towards the outside of the trunk, nearly 
 equidistant from each other. When the wood is split 
 it has a peculiar metallic lustre, and the veins are 
 straight and parallel. The wood, even at the present 
 day, is exported to all parts of the world for the mak- 
 ing of sounding-boards for all stringed instruments. 
 
 Matthias Klotz soon got the citizens of Mittenwald 
 interested in his project, and the more easily, as they 
 too saw that something must be done, some new indus- 
 try started, to make up for what they had lost in the 
 way of their fair and the trade it had brought them. 
 The hardy sons of the mountains took to their new 
 employment under Klotz's guidance with hearty good 
 will. They were industrious and patient and tracta- 
 ble, and before many years had passed they had be- 
 come able to produce instruments of such fine quality 
 that they were at first often sold as genuine Stainers. 
 Mittenwald began to become known again to the out- 
 side world, not now as a mart of commerce, but as 
 being the seat of manufacture of the best stringed in- 
 struments of all kinds in Germany. 
 
 The amount of the sales of violins at that time was 
 of course not to be compared to that of the present day. 
 Then, the finished instruments — violins, violas, bass- 
 viols, and guitars — were carried on the backs of ped- 
 dlers or agents to the neighboring countries to find a 
 sale. With the music-loving monks these poor fellows 
 always found a hearty welcome and a night's shelter, 
 and glad were they, after a hard day's march over hilly, 
 rocky roads and dangerous mountain paths, to stop at 
 the portal of the cloisters to unstrap their heavy pack 
 from their shoulders, and to partake of a good meal in 
 the refectory, which was cheerfully offered them in ex- 
 change for the news from the outside world which 
 these wandering merchants brought to the recluses. 
 
 Now, on approaching Mittenwald, one meets on the 
 highway huge four-horse wagons piled up with cases 
 of instruments, which are taken to the nearest railway 
 station, thence to start on their long journeys to other 
 countries of Europe, to Asia, Africa, America, and 
 Australia. 
 
70 MANUFACTURE OF THE VIOLIN. 
 
 To-day, the two principal firms in this business are 
 Messrs. Neuner & Hornsteiner, and Messrs. Baader 
 & Co., both of which date back through many genera- 
 tions. They have successively extended their business 
 until it has reached its present importance. 
 
 Although a part of the work in the making of violins 
 is done in the factories of these two firms, by far the 
 greater part is done by the inhabitants of Mittenwald 
 in their own houses. After the sawing of the woods 
 of diff'erent kinds, all furnished by the surrounding 
 forests, and which is often seasoned for fift}'' years be- 
 fore it is used, the rough pieces are given to the pattern- 
 maker, who cuts them into shape. They are then dis- 
 tributed to the various workmen, who each make only 
 one particular part, and, indeed, the same part he has 
 been accustomed to make from childhood up. One 
 man makes only the necks, another carves only the 
 scroll-work at the end, another makes the finger- 
 boards, a fourth makes nothing but bridges, the next 
 only pins, and so on, until each of the separate parts 
 are finished. The making of the shells themselves, 
 and the so-called coffins (the indented periphery which 
 forms the sides of the instrument), is confided only to 
 the most skilled and experienced hands. It is now the 
 work of a distinct party to cut the/ holes, a very deli- 
 cate operation ; another fits the parts together, a third 
 does the gluing. The varnishing is mostly done by 
 women. As you pass through the clean streets of the 
 town and look in at the low windows, you see nothing 
 but men, women, and children busily at work on some 
 particular part of the instrument. 
 
 One not accustomed to seeing violins, or to thinking 
 much about them, would suppose they were all alike, 
 and it would be as difficult for the layman to notice the 
 difference between them as it is for the married man 
 to discover the necessary variations in the monthly 
 changing fashions of his wife's bonnets; and yet each 
 style, each ''make" of violin, is as distinctive in its 
 model as that of the various builds of ships. Each 
 great master had his peculiar model. In the establish- 
 ments of either of the two firms alread}^ mentionel can 
 
ORIGIN OF THE VIOLIN. 71 
 
 be seen a collection of instruments of each of the most 
 celebrated masters, and the amiable proprietors take 
 great pleasure in pointing out to the uninitiated their 
 distinguishing qualities. The violin in its present form 
 is the outgrowth of several rude, ancient instruments, 
 the most fitting parts of each — further developed and 
 combined — making an instrument different from them 
 all, but exhibiting certain characteristics of each. The 
 rebec and the crowth and the lute, the latter of Egyp- 
 tian origin, gave birth to the viola, which was a favorite 
 instrument in the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries. 
 But it was only towards the end of the sixteenth cen- 
 tury, in Italy, that the violin was perfected. All sorts 
 of variations and experiments had been made in the 
 number and arrangement and material of the strings, 
 and it took two hundred years to teach the makers 
 that the real quality of the tone lay in the wood, and 
 not in the strings, and the Italians were the first to pay 
 attention to the properties of the wood and to improve 
 the form of the instrument. Stainer gave the greatest 
 care to the selection of his wood. He knew every tree, 
 and studied closely its growth and its properties. It is 
 said he most highly prized quite old trunks whose top 
 branches just began to show signs of decay. 
 
 The best strings still come from Italy. Packed in 
 air-tight tin boxes, they are stored in the two establish- 
 ments I visited to the value of hundreds of thousands 
 of florins. 
 
 The violin, like a painting or any other work of art, 
 may have almost any value ; new ones such as made at 
 Mittenwald cost from less than a dollar to several hun- 
 dreds of dollars. Even the cheapest are quite good 
 instruments, sufficient for all purposes for any ordinary 
 performer. 
 
 The modern viola and violoncello date back to about 
 the beginning and middle of the sixteenth century re- 
 spectively, the bass-viol or contrabass to the beginning 
 of the seventeenth century. 
 
 But there is another instrument which I must speak 
 of in this connection, which belongs essentially to the 
 Alps, — the zither; and Mittenwald is the princij^al i^laco 
 
72 CONCERT AT MITTENWALD. 
 
 of its manufacture. There are several zither-makers 
 in Munich and Vienna, but they are nearly all natives 
 of Mittenwald and learned their art there. In the 
 mountainous regions of Bavaria and Austria there is a 
 zither in almost every house, and there is something 
 touching in the sight of these stalwart, broad-shouldered 
 mountaineers with their powerful, sunburnt hands, as 
 they lovingly bend over this little instrument and 
 bring forth from it sweet, bell-like sounds, varying the 
 low, plaintive love-songs with the brisk, stirring andler. 
 Of late years the zither has come into fashion in other 
 countries, but it seems out of place, and will only be 
 liked there as long as it is fashionable. It is purely a 
 national instrument, and to hear it at its best one must 
 hear it in its home, and handled by those that know it 
 best, and love it. 
 
 King Maximilian the Second founded an Academy at 
 Mittenwald in the year 1859, where the young people 
 can get a better education than had hitherto been 
 offered them. Practical instruction in the art of violin- 
 making is there given. The courses have been further 
 extended to theoretical branches, and to musical in- 
 struction, for it is necessary that the maker of a good 
 violin should also be a good musician. 
 
 These people are music-loving by nature, and in the 
 evening, seated in the cosey public room of the inn, we 
 had convincing proof of their great executive profi- 
 ciency and of their fine feeling and understanding. 
 Quartettes of Beethoven and Haydn and Handel were 
 performed in a manner that would not have dishonored 
 the columned hall of the Eoyal Odeon. The improvised 
 concert was varied by performances on the zither, and 
 by singing ; for the good Mitten walders are not be- 
 hindhand in their devotion to the grand vocal com- 
 positions for which Germany always has been and 
 always will be the home. 
 
 The hours flew rapidly by, and it was a happy even- 
 ing, — we felt that we were among kind-hearted, simple, 
 good people, and in our full enjoyment the words of 
 Schiller swept through the soul like a vibrating accom- 
 paniment to the whole, — 
 
''ISAR ROLLING RAPIDLY,'' 73 
 
 " Wo man singt, da lass dich nieder, 
 Bose menschen haben keine Lieder/* 
 
 As we have just been lingering on the banks of the 
 Isar at Mittenwald, there are still a few words to say- 
 about this stream when it reaches Munich. 
 
 It is well known (we have it on the authority of 
 Mr. Twain) that no tourist can go to visit the Colos- 
 seum at Rome without murmuring, " Butchered to 
 make a Roman holiday ;^' so there is scarcely a mid- 
 dling capacitated traveller who does not remark, on 
 crossing any of the bridges at Munich, " And so this 
 is the ' Isar rolling rapidly.* " 
 
 I then have to explain. Perhaps it may save my 
 successors in office, for all generations, trouble by en- 
 lightening our countrymen and others on the geographi- 
 cal discrepancy between the real site of the battle of 
 Hohenlinden and its universally accepted proximity to 
 the Isar, induced by the too frequent spouting of Camp- 
 bell's stirring poem in our schools. 
 
 The Isar at its nearest point is twenty-five miles dis- 
 tant from Hohenlinden. There is a small stream, the 
 Isen, which takes its rise near that place. It does not 
 even flow into the Isar, but into the Inn at Menotting. 
 It is probably the slight similarity between the two 
 names that confused Campbell, and made him take that 
 poetical license of twenty-five miles in length which 
 has further confused all who visit Munich, and make 
 a point of quoting him. 
 
DESCRIPTION OF PEliSON OX PASSPORTS. 
 
 CIIAPTEll V. 
 
 Descriptions of person on passports — Noses iloscribod on passports, ob- 
 long — Costume of a soiilpturing woman — Wanting to make a bust of 
 the king — Consul to write to the king — Kaulbach and Achenbach, bow 
 pronounced — Consuls' titles — Jokes on consul's title — Contents of let- 
 ters, funny — Samples of German- English letters — Queer titles and 
 headings in (lorman letters — Pasting holy pictures in letters — l^egging 
 letters — Long letters about nothing from Americans — A rounded letter, 
 tish-hooks — The consul a little postmaster — Telegrams coming at all 
 times of the night — *' Try Munich" — Dead letters — Startling letter, 
 ** I have to be executed here to-morrow." 
 
 In old times it was not possible to travel in Europe 
 without a passport. It w^as just as necessary as any 
 other part of the traveller's equipage, and to lose one's 
 passport w^as worse than losing one's pocket-book : 
 nione}^ can be replaced ; it is merely the representative 
 of what one can do, but the passport is the representa- 
 tive of what one is : it established the respectability and 
 the harmlessness of the bearer, — it documented his 
 reputation. 
 
 On approaching the borders of a new sovereignty 
 (and Germany and Italy especially had scores and 
 scores of little, distinct sovereignties that were not much 
 bigger than the crown of your hat) the passport had 
 to be visaed on one side of the line to find out if it were 
 safe to let you out of the country, and on the other side 
 of the line to see if it were safe to let you in. An old 
 passport is quite a curiosity; it is so bespattered with 
 stamps and seals and signatures that can't possibly bo 
 read, and permissions to leave hero and to enter there; 
 the three blank sides of the large folio sheet were in- 
 sufficient lor all these gracious embellishments of the 
 police agents, if one made an extended tour, and a little 
 book was generally attached to the passport, and the 
 latter folded into it. It follows, that for such a paper 
 to have any use at all, it was necessaiy that the de- 
 scription of the bearer should be very closely given, — 
 that it should fully identity him, in fact. I hope it may 
 
NOSES DESCRIBED ON PASSPORTS. 75 
 
 be no anachroniftm to say that it was intended to take 
 the place of the photograph of the present day. 
 
 With the decline of the importance of passports the 
 art of pen-portraiture has also declined. The descrip- 
 tion of the person as given in our passports nowadays 
 is often ludicrous in the easy generalization with which 
 our smart clerks at the State Department smooth over 
 the physiognomies of our most interesting fellow-coun- 
 trymen. 
 
 Here is one of many such descriptions which is quite 
 unique as a specimen of vivid characterization; it gives 
 Buch a striking likeness of the bearer that no police 
 agent could possibly mistake him: 
 
 Description of the person of John Smith. 
 
 " Age, 40 years. 
 
 "Stature, 5} feet. 
 
 " Forehead, middling. 
 
 "Eyes, round. 
 
 "Nose, middling. 
 
 "Mouth, middling. 
 
 " Chin, middling. 
 
 " Hair, short. 
 
 " Complexion, middling. 
 
 " Face, oval." 
 
 The person who filled out the above description was 
 certainly not fond of going into extremes; he kept to 
 the golden middle. 
 
 The nose being the most salient feature of the 
 human countenance, it naturally has more individu- 
 ality than the others, and for ordinary people it is 
 more easy to describe. Our clerks have therefore at- 
 tacked this protuberance more successfully in their 
 passport descriptions than any other part of our per- 
 sonality, and it gives them play for the most extended 
 variety of adjectives. I have seen it described as long, 
 short, broad, narrow, stout, png, Eoman, aquiline, 
 ])ointed, peaked, hooked, straight, crooked, humped, 
 stub, angular, prominent, disproportionate, and pro- 
 jecting, and one gentleman of fine feelings wrote down 
 "pyramidal at the nostrils." 
 
76 A SCULPTURING WOMAN, 
 
 On another passport, a man who was blessed with a 
 nose of rather conspicuously noble proportions had it 
 characterized as ^^ oblong." The party writing that 
 word meant to be sharp, no doubt, but it is a question 
 whether he knew what oblong means. 
 
 She was a sculpturing woman, and her costume was 
 peculiar. Perhaps it was what some people call stat- 
 uesque, whatever that may mean ; at any rate, the 
 most prominent piece of her wardrobe was a black veil 
 which must have been some half-dozen yards long, 
 and which was slung around her head, and then below 
 her chin, and over one shoulder, — along her back, up, 
 under her arm, around her waist, and back again to 
 her neck by some complicated process of slipnoosing 
 and belaying which was evidently studied from the 
 snakes in Laocoon. 
 
 She was bent upon making a bust of the king, and 
 she wanted my assistance, — not in making the bust, 
 but in giving her an introduction. She wanted me to 
 write to the king that she would like him to give her 
 a sitting, — one sitting only, for, being a quick worker, 
 she could finish him up in that time. 
 
 I ventured to hint at the king's peculiarities, and 
 told her I was afraid it would be a difficult matter, for 
 His Majesty was known as the "royal hermit" and was 
 entirely inaccessible, even to his own most favored 
 subjects. Meaning to be very polite, I added that he 
 was particularly shy of all embodiments of female love- 
 liness. My soft-sawder did not take root, — she was 
 more for business than for beauty; she told me she 
 expected me to help her, and she also gave me a 
 sketch of what I should write to the king, and she 
 continued by telling me that she had made the busts 
 of many of our generals and congressmen, "and they're 
 as good as your (?) king any day," — and she volun- 
 teered to show me some of her work that ^I might be 
 able to judge for myself of what she was capable of 
 doing. 
 
 Of course, I had to promise to write her a letter. 
 She called for it next day. She seemed to know my 
 
MAKING A BUST OF THE KING, 77 
 
 duties even better than I did myself; nevertheless, I 
 took the liberty of writing out a form of letter accord- 
 ing to my ideas of what was proper — couched in the 
 usual courtly phraseology — and for her to sign. 
 
 When I handed her the letter she remarked, " But 
 it's not signed yet." No, I told her, she was to sign it. 
 
 The letter being written in German, the lady said, 
 "/can't read that, — now tell me what's all that in 
 English." I translated it for her and re-handed her 
 the letter. 
 
 " Pshaw !" she said, " I could have written such stuff 
 myself, — what can I do with such a letter?" 
 
 I told her the letter was hers, and she could make 
 what use of it she pleased. 
 
 " Well, then, see here; so much for your letter." And 
 she tore it up and scattered it on the floor. 
 
 It is scarcely necessary to add that this lady left the 
 consulate less than half satisfied. She had expected 
 me to put aside all considerations of the peculiar official 
 position which a consul holds towards the head of the 
 government to which he is accredited, and to write in 
 my own name, and on my own responsibility, an urging 
 letter to the king, at the same time puffing her and her 
 works as a means to compel him to condescend to her 
 wishes. 
 
 A couple of days afterwards, however, the lady had 
 the satisfaction of calling at ten o'clock at night, under 
 pretence of asking for letters, but in reality to let me 
 know that she had gone, after leaving the office, to 
 Kaulbach ; that she had been graciously received by 
 him ; that she had completely won him over, and that 
 he had allowed her a corner of his studio to work in ; 
 that she had bought some photographs of the king and 
 had succeeded in making a very good bust of him, " no 
 thanks to anybody," and that Kaulbach and others 
 had praised it very higlily. 
 
 I was completely crushed. 
 
 If ever I should become a great man, I know that 
 lady won't make my bust. 
 
 Speaking of Kaulbach calls to my mind the difflcul- 
 
 7^ 
 
78 CONSULS' TITLES. 
 
 ties which many of our people have in pronouncing his 
 name ; it gives them almost as much trouble as it does 
 to understand his pictures. Some of them call him 
 KoU-batch, and some Coal-bake, and some Call-back. 
 His honored name shares the lot of that of another 
 eminent painter at Dtisseldorf. An American there 
 asked another if he had seen the pictures of Atchen- 
 batchy yet. He said, " Never heard of such a man, 
 but I have just seen a splendid marine by Ake-and- 
 bake." 
 
 But "what's in a name?" There's no more than in 
 a title, and the titles a consul gets hurled at him, both 
 verbally and by letter, in a non-English speaking coun- 
 try, are as varied as they are flattering and amusing. 
 Not enough that he is called Honorable and Excellency 
 and High Excellency and your Grace, and putting aside 
 the ordinary German appendages of well-born and high- 
 born and high-well-born, he is often addressed as Con- 
 sul and Counsellor and Consulent and Consulship and 
 Consulate and Counselage. One of our pensioners, in 
 her numerous and lengthy letters, always addressed 
 me as "Hih Eggsalenz," and signed herself, "Your 
 friend, Mary P ." 
 
 A gentleman once wanting to send me a package, 
 asked a public porter if he knew where to take it. 
 " Oh, yes," he said, " I know very well where the 
 American Sultan lives." 
 
 But not enough that a consul has to put up with 
 these things in a serious way, his title is made the sub- 
 ject of the jocoseness of airy travellers. One of these, 
 who proved to be a "talking man," saluted me with 
 "Good-morning, sir. I have just dropped in to have 
 a chat with you as a man, and as a consul.'' Another 
 rounded off his little joke by saying, " Feeling a little 
 disconsolate this morning, I thought I would just stop 
 in at the consulate for a little consolation ;" whilst an- 
 other, of a funny vein, asked me if I were one of the 
 "three per cent, consols." I had to intimate to him 
 that his capital of wit was too small for me to take 
 any interest in it. 
 
SAMPLES OF GERMAN-ENGLISH LETTERS. 79 
 
 It is not only the titles that one gets, and the ad- 
 dresses on the letters that are funny, but the contents 
 of the letters themselves are often equally so, especially 
 from persons on this side, who have made the English 
 language their study, and who, in trying to write 
 elegantly, fish for their words and expressions in the. 
 dictionary; sometimes they catch the right ones, and 
 sometimes they don't, — oftener the latter. 
 
 The following letter, which was addressed to my 
 consulate, will serve as an example : I think it would 
 take the prize over all other similar letters which I 
 received. It almost reads like the effort of some 
 '' funny man" in giving a specimen of "English as she 
 is spoke,'' but it is a verbatim copy of a genuine letter. 
 
 "Much Honored United States Consul: 
 
 " You excuse kindly my repeated writing. A long 
 while, almost a half-j^ear, I have no account in my case. 
 I request you to advertise me how my subject forward 
 
 goes. I have written to Mr. and him sent ten 
 
 florins for his kindly endeavors, and hope he soon give 
 me replication to act in this matter. Just now this 
 
 afternoon, is arrived a plenipoteure* from , which 
 
 I do now expedite to you. The determination by the 
 Bavarian courts is very long time lastingly, and it shall 
 be well if you convince you in own person by the court 
 how my thing progresses forwards. It could be, the 
 actsf of my cause are mislaying, and cannot be found. 
 I beg you to do a walk to make this subject in vogue. 
 
 My lawyer, Mr. , is well knowing in this subject, 
 
 and you can it let read your counsel. But, are done 
 pieces in my case already, you might not take ill this 
 letter, for I have no peace till is finished my concern, — 
 it was me very please if you me favored by some rowsj 
 in a few days. 
 
 " With greatest respect, 
 
 " Your submissive 
 
 " P.S. — There I carry fear you should not can the 
 
 * Power of attorney. f Papers. J Lines. 
 
80 SAMPLES OF GERMAN-ENQLISH LETTERS. 
 
 German language, I take me the liberty you in English 
 to write. 
 
 " If you cannot speak or write a sermon in German, 
 I have an application made which you only may sign 
 and send to the minister." 
 
 In the last sentence the writer evidently got misled 
 by the word minister. He found in the dictionary 
 that it also means clergyman, and then, looking up the 
 German word as the object of his verbs, he found it 
 given as discourse ; address; sermon ; and in connection 
 with the title minister, he concluded that the most 
 elegant English would be to use the word sermon. 
 
 Here is another one, which is almost as good in its 
 way ; it was written to a party who had had some 
 misunderstanding with a shopkeeper in regard to some 
 goods bought of the latter. 
 
 "Mr. — We have received your honoured of the 19th 
 and do not mistake perhaps if we think you have bought 
 the signed articles (plastique figures) here in Munich, 
 and that you do not know never more at which shop. 
 
 " The one hundred and ten pieces Wickelkinder you 
 have ordered us (in a caisse K. L. 206) have arrived 
 
 already in the care of Mr. . Mr. gives us 
 
 notice that you will not pay our sending. You have 
 taken with you one piece Wickelkinder without paie- 
 ment, and you have exactly ordered to send to Mr. 
 
 one hundred and ten pieces Wickelkinder. A 
 
 mistake is not possible, we can you bring six to eight 
 witnesses in our shop, and if you not pay immediately 
 
 the sending marks we will go to law (embezzling 
 
 and deceit). If you say you have ordered only at our 
 shop plastique figures, so this is a cock and bull story. 
 If you say you have paid one Wickelkind to us, so is 
 this also a cock and bull story. If you believe you can 
 lead us by the nose you are in a mistake. Your letter 
 contents only untruths and gainsayings. 
 
 " We will wait upon your paiement till 20th inst.; if 
 you not pay the 20th inst. we will tell on you by our 
 
 German Consulate at or by the United States 
 
 Attorney General. Yours, " 
 
QUEER TITLES IN GERMAN LETTERS. 81 
 
 Some of the letters written by Germans in their own 
 language are equally entertaining. Here is one such, 
 which I translate freely, not following the German 
 construction in order to make it appear outre, but 
 giving the spirit of the phrasing as nearly as it is 
 possible to do in rendering from one language into 
 another : 
 
 *'YouR Excellency, — Encouraged by the distin- 
 guished reputation for extreme goodness and philan- 
 thropy which glorifies the illustrious name of your 
 Excellency, I take the liberty, in view of the late 
 threatening reappearance of the Asiatic cholera, most 
 submissively to lay before your most high person the 
 within communication." (Here follows a description of 
 the wonderful results of a new method of treatment in 
 cases of cholera and of the medicaments to be used, 
 and also a prescription for compounding the same, 
 which upon examination by a medical man I found to 
 be of no value whatever.) "I take the liberty, there- 
 fore, submissively to beg your Excellency to transmit 
 the enclosed prescription, with directions for use, to his 
 Excellency Mr. the President of the United States of 
 America, for his most exalted personal use, and sign 
 with deepest veneration, your Excellency's obedient, 
 
 "Severin Biegenstock, 
 '^Country Doctor and Accoucheur^ 
 
 Another letter is addressed to "Most Illustrious, 
 most serene, highborn, gracious Consul and mighty 
 President of America," — a long letter all in the above 
 style about a brother who had been a tailor in the 
 United States, became a forger and was imprisoned ; 
 and the writer now wants the consul and the Pres- 
 ident to set his brother free ; his aged mother begs on 
 her knees to have her praj^er heard, and looks to the 
 consul as the savior of her child, etc. 
 
 A poor man who had served in our late war wrote 
 in regard to my making an application for him for a 
 pension. Ho had got the largest sheet of paper pro- 
 
 / 
 
82 BEGGING LETTERS. 
 
 curable — like a mortgage form — and the heading was 
 engrossed in letters nearly an inch high, "To His 
 Eksilence Our Most Gracious American Consuldad in 
 Munich." 
 
 « 
 
 A woman in the south of Bavaria, in the very black- 
 est part of the Ultramontane district, who was in great 
 distress, bombarded me with long letters in a matter 
 in which I could be of no assistance to her. It was 
 always ''with weeping and groaning" that she "seized 
 her pen" to write to me, and she promised each time 
 to pray for me, and my wife and my children, if* I 
 would only help her. In order to make her letters still 
 more efficacious, she sometimes pasted little pictures of 
 saints at the bottom of the last page, as if it were the 
 seal of her faith, — as if she thought her favorite saint 
 must help her if the consul couldn't. 
 
 That a consul is in constant receipt of begging 
 letters it is scarcely necessary to say, and their recitals 
 of distress are depressing enough ; but these letters 
 are scarcely more formidable than another, quite dif- 
 ferent, class of letters written by people who are not 
 in distress at all, but who, on the contrary, are enjoying 
 themselves, and in their charitable spirit want to in- 
 oculate others with their joy in the shape of epistles, — 
 people who write because they are so fond of writing, 
 even when they have nothing to say. 
 
 I used to think that the long letters written by char- 
 acters in novels, and so beautifully composed, were 
 most unnatural things. Nobody ever writes such let- 
 ters in real life, thought I, — going in for such apt quo- 
 tations, such striking similes, such fine, descriptive 
 painting. I was mistaken. I have letters, especially 
 from ladies, which would, if printed, fill four or five 
 book pages (which is the general length of a novel 
 letter), and so precisely worded and sentenced, — with 
 here and there a piece of very innocent (sometimes 
 aged) pleasantry, — that they might serve as models for 
 the letter which is spun out to take the place of a 
 chapter in the most creeping romance. Then, too, 
 these cheering writers mix up a great many French 
 
THE CONSUL A LITTLE POSTMASTER. 83 
 
 and German and Italian phrases in their epistles, to 
 show the extent of their travels and the linguistic 
 profit they have derived from them; often, too, they 
 write in a moralizing strain as if the consul were an 
 intimate school friend of theirs. 
 
 One of the most rounded letters (but here the writer 
 really wanted something, and therefore his letter had 
 a humane object) began thus: ''I don't intend to treat 
 you like a fish, by merely dropping you a line, but like 
 a king, by sending you a couple of pages. But speak- 
 ing of fish naturally suggests water, and this is what I 
 want to tell you. Water is coming down all around 
 me as if it would never stop. I am completely hemmed 
 in by it. The mountains are so completely veiled by 
 the sheets of pouring rain that they might as well not 
 be there, for all I can see of them." 
 
 The writer then goes on conscientiously to fulfil his 
 promise, and I turn over leaf after leaf of narrations of 
 his summer experiences; of what luck he had had in 
 sport, and of how his sympathies were with gentle Isaak 
 Walton ; and the upshot of the matter, which came at 
 the very end (like the worm), was that the gentleman 
 requested the consul to get a certain number of certain 
 numbered fish-hooks for him, and send them to him by 
 post. 
 
 It is the custom of many travelling Americans to 
 have all their mail-matter addressed to the care of the 
 various consulates. They call for their letters or 
 papers in person, or expect the consul to re-mail them 
 to them, so that the consul becomes, in a way, quite a 
 little postmaster. Our instructions are, to retain all 
 letters not called for for six months, and then to return 
 them on the first of January and first of July of each 
 year to the Dead Letter Office at Washington. If this 
 instruction is not complied with, such unclaimed letters 
 accumulate in great numbers. One of our consuls on 
 taking charge of the office at Liverpool sent nearly 
 three thousand letters to Washington, which his pre- 
 decessor had neglected returning semi-annually during 
 his administration. 
 
84 " TRY MUNICH.'' 
 
 It certainly does not make much extra work for a 
 consul to attend to the delivering of such letters. If 
 parties call for them at his office, he hands their mail 
 to them, or if they want it re-directed, it is but a trifle 
 to cross out the name of the city and write another in 
 its place and return it to the post-office. 
 
 The most trying affair connected with these post- 
 office duties was the receipt of telegrams, often coming 
 at the dead of night, as if they were the messengers of 
 some great calamity or of some momentous family oc- 
 currence, and which, when tremblingly opened, dis- 
 closed the important order, — " Send letters to Paris (or 
 some other place), care of consul.'* I had to put a stop 
 to these nightly'disturbances, by ordering the telegraph 
 officers not to forward such messages except between 
 six in the morning and eight in the evening, for it was 
 too trying to the nerves to be roughly roused from one's 
 slumbers on an average four times a week for the 
 benefit of one's countrymen. 
 
 In the height of the season my little post-office often 
 received from twenty to thirty letters and papers a day 
 for distribution and re-mailing. 
 
 A letter once came ft*om the United States directed 
 
 to " Mr. , Munich." The writer had only put a 
 
 three-cent stamp on it, so the postmaster at the place of 
 mailing supposed it to be a home letter. I do not know 
 that we have any post-office town in the United States 
 by the name of Munich, but there are many others 
 that have names similar to it, and which, if the address 
 be indistinctly written, might be mistaken for it. Now, 
 that letter had been skimming along from one end of 
 the Union to the other without finding a resting-place. 
 At seven or eight places the postmaster had endorsed 
 on it " not known" — " not here" — " undeliverable," etc. 
 After knocking around various States and Territories, 
 and no one appearing to claim it, one fellow at last — 
 smarter than the rest — wrote across it in big letters, 
 with a blue pencil, " Try Europe.'' His advice was 
 taken ; they tried Europe ; the letter reached its desti- 
 nation ; the recipient was in exultation. 
 
A DEAD LETTER, 85 
 
 Speaking of dead letters reminds me of a case that 
 had a serio-comic aspect. 
 
 A Munich woman of the middle class came in, hold- 
 ing a letter in her hand. She began by telling me that 
 her husband had left her a couple of years ago and had 
 gone to the United States ; that she had not heard 
 from him since ; that he had treated her very badly 
 and that she didn't care anything for him, but that it 
 had come to her ears that he had made a good deal of 
 money over there, and she now wanted me to procure 
 her a mortuary certificate, that she might be able to 
 prove his death to the court here; and finall}^, that she 
 had a good chance of marrying again, and that the 
 money he left would come in very nicely for her outfit. 
 
 I asked her what notice she had received of his 
 death. She said she had written to him last some 
 months ago (a registered letter), and that now it had 
 come back to her with the word dead upon it, which a 
 friend of hers had translated for her. She was so 
 exultant at being free again that it was almost a pain- 
 ful duty for me, as I took the letter from her hand, to 
 explain that that was the expressive mark with us for 
 an undeliverable letter, and that it was not her husband 
 that was dead, but only the letter. She was quite 
 crestfallen as she went away, and her face took nearly 
 the expression it ought to have taken if she had really 
 lost her spouse. 
 
 A letter once came late in the evening. It was an 
 express letter; that is, it was delivered by a special 
 carrier at the moment of arrival by train, and therefore 
 was a letter of importance. I was just about going to 
 bed, but I knew the letter was from somebody wanting 
 something very badly, or he would not have been in 
 such a hurry about it ; so I opened it quakingly. 
 
 1 was prepared for something serious, but not for 
 what the letter really contained, and the announcement 
 II ade me stagger. 
 
 It was a small sheet of note-paper, written upon in a 
 straggling hand, commencing nearly at the middle of 
 the page, so that there was only room for a few words 
 
 8 
 
86 A STARTLING LETTER, 
 
 on it, but those words were appalling, — they nearly 
 took my breath away ; they were as follows : 
 
 "• Sir : I have to be executed here to-morrow in the pres- 
 ence of a United States Consul'' 
 
 Good heavens! I thought, and here at the last 
 minute only the poor wretch has been able to send me 
 these few lines. 
 
 I was not sufficiently calm to consider that even in 
 such an extremity of a delinquent countryman my 
 complying with his last wish (for such I deemed it to 
 be) was not imperatively binding on me, — that, after 
 all, such a thing was entirely out of my line ; my only 
 thought was, '^ too late, too late." I had not read 
 anything in the papers of any American having been 
 sentenced to death ; I was disturbed to think how such 
 a thing could happen without my having heard of it 
 sooner. Perhaps this was a judicial murder perpetrated 
 against a helpless foreigner, and no chance had been 
 given him to communicate with the representatives of 
 his countr}^ 
 
 I turned over the page to see who the unfortunate 
 man was, and what he had done; and then my doubts 
 were solved. 
 
 The man had been guilty of nothing worse than bad 
 grammar^ showing total depravity in regard to his dis- 
 regard of punctuation, and an unexampled reckless- 
 ness in writing such momentous words just at the 
 bottom of a page, which could only be explained by 
 turning over the leaf My mind was relieved to find 
 that it was not a human being, a fellow-countryman 
 that was to be executed, but only a power of attorney. 
 The whole sentence read thus : " I have to be executed 
 here to-morrow in the presence of a United States 
 Consul a power of attorney and not being able to 
 come to Munich I request you to come at once to me 
 I will pay your fare and make it all right with you, 
 etc." 
 
 I did not go, of course, and lost the pleasure of see- 
 ing that man, but I shall never forgive him for the cold 
 perspiration he threw me into. 
 
CAPITAL PUNISHMENT. 87 
 
 CHAPTEE YI. 
 
 The guillotine — Hanging — Best method of inflicting capital punishment 
 — Last execution by sword in Munich — Public execution by guillotine 
 — History of the guillotine — Plea for other method than hanging — Exe- 
 cutions should not be public — Can a clergyman vote or hold oflSce? — 
 ** I was ever of opinion :" subject of a bet — A letter of Washington — 
 Two Barons Washington living in Bavaria — Washington's letter — 
 James Washington — Our flag : its origin — Our flag : when displayed — 
 Our flag has further uses : Fourth of July speeches. 
 
 I don't know whether any of my readers have ever 
 seen a man hanged. I never have. We are told that 
 it is an easy death; perhaps it is; but we are always 
 told this by people who have never tried it. Marwood 
 expatiates on the superiority of hanging over every 
 other form of violent death. 
 
 As long as capital punishment exists, it is certainly 
 the duty of law-makers to provide, in this enlightened 
 age, that the manner of execution should be such as 
 produces death as quickly as possible, and without any 
 unnecessary application of cruelty. The death-penalty 
 is no longer to be regarded as a torture, its object is 
 simply to put a dangerous subject out of the way, and 
 to act as a deterrent against the heinous crime of mur- 
 der. In our country, where we go in for labor-saving 
 machinery and modern improvements to a greater ex- 
 tent than anywhere else, it is a wonder that we still 
 cling to this primitive method of execution. Then 
 again, when we reflect how bungling the working of 
 the gallows often is ; how often the best of rope breaks, 
 and how often the knot is unscientifically fixed, leaving 
 the victim dangling for dear life, sometimes for half an 
 hour before he is cut down, it certainly suggests to our 
 understanding that some more humane, some less re- 
 pulsive method should be adopted. 
 
 " They order these things better in France,*' and in 
 Bavaria too. Up to near the middle of the present 
 century the mode of execution hero was by the sword. 
 
88 PUBLIC EXECUTION BY GUILLOTINE, 
 
 They had a capital swordsman at Munich who was un- 
 failing, and always severed the head from the body 
 with a single blow. The last time he was called upon 
 to exercise his grim function he drank, as usual, to get 
 his courage up, but it appears he just overstepped the 
 mark, and it was noticed that when he ascended the 
 scaffold he was a little shaky. He swung his great 
 two-handed sword with a whirring sweep, but he missed 
 his aim, and only hacked his victim. This unexpected 
 failure made him nervous and excited ; he plied his 
 weapon again and again, and it is said he cut seven 
 times before the head was at last severed from the 
 body. It was a sickening sight; the public was in- 
 censed, and hooted the man from the scaifold. 
 
 Execution by the sword was then done away with, 
 and the guillotine was introduced, and is still used in 
 all Bavaria. 
 
 I have been led to this subject from having once been 
 called on by some State board of prisons to furnish it 
 with statistics, pointing to the question as to whether 
 the abolition of capital punishment has a tendency to 
 the reduction of capital crimes or not. It wanted me 
 to see how the guillotine works, and to state whether 
 it is a humane means of executing capital punishment 
 or not. 
 
 Till about twenty years ago the executions in Bava- 
 ria were public; those at Munich were held on the 
 Marsfeld, the military exercising ground, just on the 
 northwestern outskirt of the city. They took place 
 early in the morning, just after daybreak. The cul- 
 prit was driven from the prison at the southern end of 
 the city to the scaffold in an open two-horse wagon, 
 something like a hay-wagon, and painted a dull blue. 
 He was habited in a dark blue or almost black gown, 
 bare-headed (the hair being cropped short, so as not to 
 interfere with the cutting of the knife), and with a black 
 board hanging on his breast, on which was painted in 
 large white letters "/or murder.'' His limbs were free, 
 but he was sandwiched in between two gens d'armcs, 
 each carrying his loaded and bayoneted musket, — these 
 three riding backwards. Opposite them sat a priest 
 
PUBLIC EXECUTION BY GUILLOTINE. 89 
 
 with book in hand, mumbling prayers as they jogged 
 along. The driver sat on one of the horses. As the 
 distance from the prison to the place of execution was 
 great, and the wagon went at a funeral pace, the poor 
 wretch had ample time to take his last look at life and 
 activity and freedom for others, and to be stared at by 
 the crowds that lined the streets. Brought out sud- 
 denly from his lonesome cell where he had been con- 
 fined for weeks, he was once again shown the stirring 
 world that he would soon be snatched away from for- 
 ever. This doleful procession always seemed to me 
 particularly cruel, — a refinement of the tortures of 
 Tantalus. The doomed man saw the swarms of peo- 
 ple that were free to move about at will ; he saw the 
 faces at windows expressing the consciousness of the 
 security of their homes; he saw young children, quite 
 innocent of the meaning of crime, and he knew that 
 all had turned out to gaze upon him as some mysteri- 
 ous monster, uncomprehended by them, without sym- 
 pathy from them, and feeling that no human link 
 bound him to them. He knew that in a few short 
 minutes that crowd would scatter to its usual occupa- 
 tions, each knowing what was before him, while he 
 would be launched into that unknown region so full 
 of awful mystery, and having no assurance in his 
 breast (now branded with the title of his crime) that 
 he had obtained that forgivenness which is beyond the 
 power of earthly judges. 
 
 Was it to be wondered at, then, that at that chill 
 morning hour the murderer often trembled visibly, 
 while his face showed pallid as if the blood bad already 
 left the body. 
 
 As the place of execution was neared the crowd grew 
 denser and denser, and as the view of the field opened 
 on one, one saw an immense multitude and heard the 
 suppressed hum of thousands of voices. The gentler 
 sex was not wanting among the spectators, and even 
 numbers of children were there. Old women hawked 
 programmes of the show, containing a narrative of the 
 crime from beginning to end, and generally embellished 
 with a rude wood-cut of the delinquent. In the centre 
 
 8* 
 
90 PUBLIC EXECUTION BV GUILLOTINE. 
 
 of that black and swaying mass stood the scaffold, a 
 platform about fifteen feet square and ten feet high, 
 hung all round with dark red cloth, and surmounted 
 w^ith a wooden railing. On each of the four sides was 
 drawn up a compact line of cuirassiers with their horses 
 breasting the scaffold, their shining helmets looking 
 like a row of big brass-headed nails garnishing some 
 huge piece of upholstery. A little farther off a couple 
 of companies of infantry were posted. 
 
 From the top of the platform, and about at its centre, 
 rose two parallel bars, not more than nine or ten feet 
 high and perhaps twelve or fifteen inches apart. At 
 the upper end was suspended the knife, a bright bit of 
 steel, like a big cleaver, heavily loaded, and the blade 
 not horizontal, but diagonal. One would scarcel}'- have 
 taken it for an instrument of death, — it looked like 
 some neat but unknown agricultural implement. 
 
 Arrived at the scaffold, the delinquent was taken in- 
 side (an opening of the red drapery allowing a passage, 
 which was immediately closed again by its falling to- 
 gether). The executioner was within, and also some 
 officers of the law. A small provisional altar was 
 erected, — with crucifix and candles, — and there, out of 
 sight of the people around, the last religious services 
 were performed. The prisoner was then blindfolded 
 and pinioned, and was led forth to ascend the steps of 
 the platform. The executioner and a jailer preceded 
 him, whilst the priest guided him, and a couple of 
 prison officers followed. On arriving at the top, a few 
 paces brought the criminal to an upright board, which 
 reached to about his breast, having a small foot-board 
 to stand on. A leather strap was quickly buckled 
 across the small of the back, another over the ankles; 
 the board was tilted over to a horizontal position, slid 
 forward, until the head, with the face downwards, pro- 
 jected between and beyond the parallel bars; a board 
 with a semicircular cut in it to fit the neck was let 
 down to keep the head in place, and at the same 
 moment a spring was touched, and down came the knife 
 with a heavy thud, and the head had fallen into a 
 basket at the end of the machine. Scarcely any move- 
 
HISTORY OF THE GUILLOTINE. 91 
 
 ment of the body could be detected afterwards, — per- 
 haps a slight quiver, — but it was only momentary ; the 
 blood was seen pouring in a thick stream from the 
 neck. As soon as the head was severed, the execu- 
 tioner removed the black bandage from the eyes, and 
 clutching the head by the hair (which had been left a 
 little longer on the top for that purpose), held it up at 
 arm^s length for a few seconds to show it to the public ; 
 it looked like a head of chalk, so white was it. Body 
 and head were quickly put into a coffin, standing ready, 
 and all was over. The crowed dispersed, leaving only 
 a few officers to superintend the workmen, who imme- 
 diately removed the instrument and the scaffold. 
 
 From the moment the prisoner commenced ascending 
 the steps of the scaffold until the knife fell I do not 
 think more than forty seconds elapsed. Death seems 
 to be instantaneous. 
 
 I saw several such executions at Munich : they were 
 during my student days. 
 
 The guillotine is not by any means a modern inven- 
 tion. In old times it was used in almost all countries. 
 It is said to have been first used in Persia. In Italy, 
 it has been the privilege of the nobility, when sen- 
 tenced to death, to suffer the penalty by that method 
 in preference to others that were less expeditious and 
 more cruel. A wood-cut of Lucas Cranach, of the six- 
 teenth century, shows an execution by means of an in- 
 strument quite identical with the present form of the 
 guillotine, except that the prisoner is in a kneeling 
 position instead of lying with the back upwards. Al- 
 degrever and Penz, the latter a scholar of Albrecht 
 Diirer, in wood-cuts with the date 1553, show the same 
 form of execution, thus proving that it was in vogue in 
 Germany also at that time. The instrument was called 
 in Germany the dolabra, — in Italy, the mannaia. Dr. 
 Guillotin, from whom it takes its present name, merely 
 suggested, as a member of the National Assembly in 
 1789, that in future executions no distinction in the 
 method should be made (where the death-Hcnlence 
 should be passed) in regard to persons, or in regard to 
 the nature of the crime, and he recommended that 
 
92 EXECUTIONS SHOULD NOT BE PUBLIC. 
 
 some instrument should be introduced that would work 
 more quickly and reliably than the usual manipulation 
 of the executioner of those days. 
 
 It was in the year 1791, when the debates upon the 
 penal laws were again taken up, that one of the mem- 
 bers brought in a motion that decapitation should be 
 the only form of the death-penalty. Dr. Antoine Louis, 
 secretary of the college of surgeons, was called on to 
 make a scientific report as to which was the most 
 humane manner of decapitation. He favored the in- 
 troduction of an instrument similar to those which in 
 former generations had been in use in England. A 
 model was made which received the approval of the 
 General Assembly, and in the year 1792 the instru- 
 ment which was afterwards destined to play such a 
 frightfully conspicuous part in French history received 
 its first victim. 
 
 As I was called upon, as before stated, to give my 
 views as to whether death by the guillotine were a 
 humane way of inflicting capital punishment or not, I 
 could not help stating that, as far as my limited exper- 
 ience in such things went, it appeared to me the best 
 method of any I had ever read or heard of. 
 
 I know that this is a very horrible and bloody sub- 
 ject to write about, and to have a place in such a book 
 as this, but one should never neglect making an effort 
 (be it ever so humble) to further a good cause, when- 
 ever an opportunity presents itself As long as we 
 have capital punishment for the greatest of crimes, 
 would it not be well to consider, at least, whether it 
 would not be more becoming to us as a nation to adopt 
 the most merciful and expeditious form, instead of 
 holding on to the bungling system of hanging, which 
 oftentimes, in its inefficiency in producing death quickly, 
 gives rise to the most revolting spectacles and inflicts 
 tortures on the unhappy victim smacking of the taste 
 of the dark ages, but not compatible with the views of 
 justice of the present enlightened times? 
 
 Above all, let not executions be public entertain- 
 ments. The public must be satisfied with knowing 
 
CAN A CLERGYMAN VOTE? 93 
 
 that the last penalty of the law has been properly- 
 applied, and this can be amply testified to by the gov- 
 ernment officers and the medical men who are present. 
 The witnessing an execution has no deterring effect on 
 the crowd ; on the contrary, the culprit who is allowed 
 to make maudlin speeches on the scaffold, and has the 
 satisfaction of seeing that such a stir is made about 
 him, is often looked up to as quite a hero, and many a 
 would-be murderer has what little conscience he pos- 
 sesses smoothed by the thought that even if caught 
 and sentenced, he still remains a person of distinction 
 in the eyes of thousands of the brutal crowd that 
 honors him with its presence. 
 
 From the moment a man is found guilty of the crime 
 of murder he should be isolated from the outer world. 
 The public should have no knowledge of his doings or 
 his sayings or of his situation afterwards, except what is 
 actually necessary to convince it that the ends of justice 
 have been strictly and lawfully carried out. The public 
 should not be allowed to hold any intercourse with such 
 a being. The disgusting scenes which took place in 
 the cell of one of our most infamous murderers, and 
 the equally disgusting accounts of them published for 
 the benefit of all who, on account of absence from the 
 place, were not so favored as to have a personal inter- 
 view with him, certainly threw a very bad light on our 
 " institutions" in the eyes of all intelligent foreigners, 
 and it was very hard work to tiy, for the honor of our 
 country, to explain the same to them in a mollifying 
 manner. 
 
 A blacksmith at Straubing on the "beautiful blue 
 Danube," who was perhaps a learned blacksmith like 
 another of his profession before him, and seems to have 
 hammered at other things besides his anvil, wrote me 
 an express letter wanting an immediate answer, begging 
 me to tell him whether, in the United States, a clergy- 
 man of any sect, even if ho be a citizen, can vote or 
 hold office. "It is the subject of a wager," ho con- 
 cludes. 
 
 On another occasion two Germans, one a fat, per- 
 
94 A LETTER OF WASHINGTON. 
 
 spiry fellow and the other a young, dirty little chap 
 who looked as if he might be a tailor's apprentice, came 
 in to have me decide a bet between them on the cor- 
 rectness of the opening sentence in Goldsmith's "Vicar 
 of Wakefield" : " I was ever of opinion," etc. 
 
 Young apprentice maintained it was classic English ; 
 fat man said he had " lifed a goot many yearce in Am- 
 mariky and knew Inklish shust as goot as Sherman," 
 and contended that the expression was not correct 
 grammar. 
 
 I asked him what was the matter with it. He said 
 it ought to be " I alwace wuss of de opinion." 
 
 They seemed to me to be members of some English 
 circle or debating club or something of that kind. My 
 decision, in which, of course, I took poor Goldsmith's 
 part, did not appear to settle their bet, for they went 
 over the yard in a loud quarrel with each other. Be- 
 fore leaving, however, the big man wanted to pay me, 
 — he " wanted to do de right ting, you know." 
 
 A LETTER OF WASHIJSTGTOK 
 
 Everything relating to Washington must have an 
 interest for all true Americans. It may surprise many 
 to learn that there are two brothers, Baron Max 
 Washington and Baron Carl Washington, evidently 
 descended from the same stock as our first President, 
 living in Bavaria. 
 
 Baron Max Washington once showed me a letter 
 addressed to his father, written by George Washington 
 in 1799, — in the last year of his life. This letter* will 
 be new to most of my readers. When shown to me it 
 had just been discovered among the private papers of 
 the late James Washington, the father of the present 
 Barons Washington, and had narrowly escaped being 
 destroyed, being among other old letters which seemed 
 to have no further value. 
 
 The above James Washington was born at the Hague, 
 
 * With the kind permission of Baron Washington, I published this 
 letter in the ** American Register" of Paris, in April, 1878. 
 
WASHINGTON'S LETTER. 95 
 
 January 26, 1778. He entered the Dutch service in 
 1794, which he left the following year and went to 
 Germany, where he lived as a refugee. He entered the 
 Bavarian army in 1803, was adjutant to the Crown 
 Prince (afterwards Louis I.) of Bavaria; was sub- 
 sequently colonel ; was sent to the headquarters of 
 Wellington at Waterloo as Bavarian Minister, and 
 entered Paris with the Duke. He was adjutant to 
 King Maximilian Joseph, of Bavaria, in 1821, and was 
 afterwards adjutant-general to King Louis. 
 
 It seems that this James Washington, when about 
 twenty- one years of age, wrote to his great namesake 
 in America in reference to his genealogy, and inquir- 
 ing whether he could get an appointment in the United 
 States army. Washington's letter is in answer to this, 
 and is as follows : 
 
 "Mount Vernon (in Virginia), 
 "20tli of January, 1799. 
 
 "Sir, — Through the goodness of Mr. Adams, the 
 American Minister at Berlin, I am indebted for the 
 safe conveyance of your Letter, dated the 19th of Oc- 
 tober, in that city ; and through the same medium I 
 have the honour to present this acknowledgment of it. 
 
 " There can be but little doubt, Sir, of our descending 
 from the same stock, as the branches of it proceeded 
 from the same country. At what time your Ancestors 
 left England is not mentioned. Mine came over to 
 America nearly one hundred and fifty years ago. 
 
 " The regular course of application for Military ap- 
 pointments is to the President of the United States 
 through the Secretary of War. But it would be de- 
 ception not to apprise you beforehand that it does not 
 accord with the policy of this Government to bestow 
 offices — civil or military — upon Foreigners to the ex- 
 clusion of our own citizens. First, because there is an 
 animated zeal in the latter to serve their country; and, 
 secondly, because the former, seldom satisfied with the 
 Rank they sustained in the service of their own coun- 
 try, look ibr higher aj^pointments in this — whicli when 
 bestowed — unless there is obvious cause to justily the 
 measure, is pregnant with discontent — and, therefore, 
 
96 JAMES WASHINGTON. 
 
 18 not often practised, except in those branches of the 
 Military service which relate to Engineering and Gun- 
 nery, for in these our military establishment is de- 
 fective, and men of known and acknowledged abilities, 
 with ample Testimonials thereof, would be certainly 
 encouraged. 
 
 ^' Deeming it better to give this candid detail than 
 to raise hopes that might prove fallacious — is the best 
 apology that I can offer for my plain dealing. At the 
 same time, be pleased to accept assurances of my being, 
 Sir, your most obedient and humble Servant, 
 
 " G. Washington. 
 
 ''Mr. James Washington." 
 
 I have seen many of Washington's letters, and I 
 possess fac-similes of his handwriting, with which I 
 compared the present letter; there cannot be the least 
 doubt of its genuineness. The style is eminently char- 
 acteristic of the open, straightforward, conscientious 
 manner of Washington. The favorite use of the dash, 
 and the writing of the principal nouns and adjectives 
 with a capital letter, are in accordance with the fashion 
 of that time. The seal on the folded letter bears the 
 well-known device which Washington also used as a 
 book-plate, — a shield with three five-pointed stars and 
 two horizontal red bars, with the motto " Exitus acta 
 prohaty 
 
 The great-grandfather of James Washington was 
 also named James. He was obliged to fly from Eng- 
 land in 1685, during the civil wars in the reign of 
 Charles the Second. He was shipwrecked on the coast 
 of Portugal, and thus lost what little personal prop- 
 erty he had been able to carry with him from Eng- 
 land. From Portugal he wandered to Holland, where 
 he engaged in trade. England tried several times in 
 vain to effect his extradition. This James Washington 
 was the progenitor of the present Washington family 
 in Bavaria. 
 
 In an old family Bible belonging to a Mr. Keurenaer 
 at the Hague (who married a Miss Washington) the 
 following note is inscribed : 
 
OUR FLAG. 97 
 
 "James Washington left England about the middle 
 of the seventeenth century, when the country was dis- 
 turbed by civil wars ; he came to Holland, and set- 
 tled at Eotterdam. His brother went to the English 
 colonies in America, settled there as a planter, and was 
 the grandfather of the founder of the American Union, 
 — George Washington." 
 
 The fullest and most authentic papers on the subject 
 of Washington which we have at home are those pre- 
 served at the State Department. In the genealogy of 
 Washington there given, based upon the statements 
 made by the Garter of the College of Arms at London 
 in 1796, and as given by Washington himself from the 
 period of the emigration of John and Lawrence Washing- 
 ton to the United States about the year 1657, the name 
 of James does not appear. Yet it is significant that 
 the arms of the Washington family in Bavaria are 
 identical with those of our Washington. 
 
 Our flag, in its present form, was likely enough sug- 
 gested by the arms of Washington ; indeed, it is proved 
 by some people that it really was so suggested. Dur- 
 ing the Revolution we had no established device for our 
 flag, for it went through various alterations and modi- 
 fications for a long time, and it was only at the first 
 session of the Third Congress (on the 13th of January, 
 1794) that a law w^as passed " that from and after the 
 first day of May, Anno Domini one thousand seven 
 hundred and ninety-five, the flag of the United States 
 be fifteen stripes, alternate red and white. That the 
 Union be fifteen stars, white in a blue field." 
 
 If our stars were taken from Washington's arms, it 
 must be remarked that originally those five-pointed 
 figures so called were not stars at all, but, in the lan- 
 guage of heraldry, mullets^ or spur rowels. Stars were 
 quite difl'crently represented. 
 
 By the act of April 4, 1818, the following provision 
 is made relating to our flag: " That from and after the 
 Fourth of July next (July 4, 1818) the flag of the 
 United States be thirteen horizontal stripes, alternately 
 red and white; that fhe Union bo twenty stars, white 
 V' 9 9 
 
98 OUR FLAG. 
 
 in a blue field ; that on the admission of any new State 
 into the Union, one star be added to the union of the 
 flag; and that such addition shall take effect on the 
 fourth day of July then next ensuing.'^ 
 
 Since that day we have gone on industriously adding 
 star by star till we have nearly doubled them. When 
 our immense Territories get chopped up into smaller 
 States, as they eventually will be, it is hard to tell how 
 we will crowd in all the stars. There will be little of 
 the blue left. Our armorial firmament will become a 
 regular milky-way. 
 
 At seaport consulates the flag is generally hoisted 
 daily over the oflice roof, but in inland places it only 
 gets a regular airing on Washington's birthday and the 
 Fourth of July. 
 
 On some sad occasions it has been our painful duty 
 to display it heavily draped with crape, as a symbol of 
 mourning over some great loss our country has sus- 
 tained. 
 
 Eut of course our flag has further uses still. If not 
 oftener, it is at least certain once a year to lend its 
 folds '' to print a moral or adorn a tale," for no Fourth 
 of July oration is complete without an allusion to it ; 
 and here an example : " Our eagle is a big and glorious 
 bird, gentlemen, and spreads his wings over a continent, 
 — aye, and farther yet. Even in this remote city, so 
 many leagues from the seat and centre of freedom, one 
 of his bright feathers may even now be seen floating 
 in the air." This referred to the flag hanging out at 
 the consulate. I think the explanation is necessary. 
 
THE AMERICAN EAGLE. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Consul like the American eagle — American eagle: its origin — Our arms 
 — Eag]e on the coinage — What our eagle looks like — Consular arras 
 furnished by the Department — President of Ornithological Society — 
 Sign of a poultry dealer — The " Adlerwirth" — State arms — Hunting 
 up family arms — Hunting up genealogies — Smith family — Hunting up 
 lost trunks — So many lost trunks — Two American ladies lose trunks — 
 Railroad director loses trunks — Wants to sue the company — Trunks at 
 forwarding agenVs — Wanting consul to call on Sunday — Cases where 
 consul must go to parties — Attacking the consul at the opera — Engag- 
 ing rooms — Meeting lady with baby and nurses-Travelling compan- 
 ions for ladies — Such requests not from acquaintances — Consul to bar- 
 gain for a painting — Newspapers received in a torn state — Work on 
 Faust: no old fogy — Bill of glassware: where's the punch-bowl? — 
 Consul to collect debts — Young Americans not writing home — To hunt 
 up a sister — Wanting situations as clerks, etc. — Wanted, an artist to 
 show strangers around the galleries — Tramps — Free railroad tickets — 
 Tickets to New York, to Milan — Shooting the judge at Thulba — Vio- 
 lent sailor — French woman with baby — Parties coming in the evening 
 to private lodging — Even tramps not the most formidable people — 
 Making a living time-table of the consul — Armed with a circular let- 
 ter of introduction — Putting one's knowledge of geography to the test 
 — Which is the best route to Suez ? — First class from Munich to Verona 
 — When do trains leave Munich for Paris ? 
 
 " I HAVE come to invoke the protection of the Ameri- 
 can Eagle." 
 
 Travellers in difficulty are fond of pictorially alluding 
 to the consul as the American Eagle. They do not 
 know with what bitter truth they apply those trito 
 words. 
 
 The consul is like that symbolic bird : he has both 
 hands full; upon his breast, hung by a chain around 
 bis neck, is a heavy shield ; but it is more like a clog, — 
 a heavy load of responsibilities, — ^^just glazed over with 
 a thin coating of blue and red and gold to blazon the 
 honor of his position ; but he has, alas, nothing to cover 
 his back with but the few feathers that Congress with 
 a niggardly hand allows him. Gazed u]) to from below, 
 ho looks like a bright constellation of authority and 
 power, — a mass of glittering color, — but lookc^l down 
 
100 OUR ARMS. 
 
 on from above, and more closely, he is found to be a 
 very dusty brown indeed. 
 
 At the time our "American Eagle" was invented 
 heraldry had fallen into disuse, because there was really 
 no occasion for it any more. Every man who was 
 anybody was able to write his name, so his signet-ring 
 became a mere ornamental appendage, and, as his face 
 was not covered with a visor, but beardlessly displayed 
 beneath a cocked or a bell-crowned hat, it was not neces- 
 sary for him to have his arms painted or embossed or 
 embroidered on his shield as a means of identification, 
 as it formerly was for the knight, in order that people 
 might know who it was that was concealed within the 
 sweat-producing armor. 
 
 In heraldry, the drawings of animals (which were 
 the favorite emblems) not being made by artists of the 
 first rank, were obviously very crude ; but this very 
 crudeness of drawing soon began to have an established 
 meaning, and each distorted position and each grimace 
 denoted some quality of the person, or had reference 
 to some of his acts. 
 
 When our young colonies, in adopting many of the 
 usages of the older countries, thought it necessary or 
 proper to have an " arms" also, the eagle was decided 
 upon as being the most appropriate animal to symbolize 
 our independence and freedom ; yet I find no mention 
 made either in our Articles of Confederation or in our 
 Constitution or in our statutes of such a symbol being 
 ever legally recognized by us. In fact, the word " arms" 
 does not occur at all, although it is in common use with 
 our people. 
 
 In the act of September 15, 1789 (First Congress, first 
 session), it says, "And be it further enacted, that the 
 seal heretofore used b}' the United States in Congress 
 assembled, shall be, and hereby is declared to be, the 
 seal of the United States," — but what that seal is it 
 nowhere says. The only reference to the eagle is in 
 the acts relating to our coinage. In the eighteenth 
 section of the law of February 12, 1873, it says, " Upon 
 the coins there shall be the following devices and 
 
WHAT OUR EAGLE LOOKS LIKE. IQl 
 
 legends: upon one side there shall be an impression 
 emblematic of liberty, with an inscription of the word 
 * Liberty' and the year of the coinage, and on the 
 reverse shall be the figure or representation of an 
 eagle, with the inscription 'United States of America,' 
 and 'E Pluribus Unum,' " etc. 
 
 In what way soever our eagle originated, he didn't 
 arise from his ashes like the phoenix, but started up a 
 brand-new bird, untortured with any heraldic angular- 
 ities, and in all the fulness of realistic splendor that a 
 bad draughtsman was capable of giving him. Some- 
 times he is chub-headed, with wings like a new-fledged 
 chicken, — sometimes humpbacked, and mostly straddle- 
 legged ; sometimes he has the pert squint, the knowing 
 look of an old raven, and sometimes he looks like a 
 drowned rat. He has no established position. The 
 only thing that is a settled matter is, that he must 
 have a ribbon floating from his beak bearing the motto 
 E Pluribus Unum, and that he must have one talon 
 full of arrows and the other clutching a sprig of laurel, 
 the meaning of which is, that he is ready to off'er you 
 peace or war, just as you please. But the most playful 
 part of his panoply is the shield, over which he has 
 complete control, for he can do what he wants to with 
 it. Sometimes he wears it strung around his neck, 
 and sometimes plastered over his breast. But some- 
 times he takes it ofl^, and uses it as a table to stand 
 upon and peck his food from ; sometimes he stands it 
 up perpendicularly and roosts upon its edge, and some- 
 times he has it resting upon a dirty piece of cloud and 
 is sportively tilting it over with his foot, and sometimes 
 the poor fellow is spread out behind the shield stretch- 
 ing out all fours as if he were prepared for a barbecue. 
 
 In the Consular Regulations it speaks of the " Con- 
 sular Arms," which are to be displayed over the door 
 of the office. The Department of State furnishes such 
 arms to the various consulates. It sends to each a 
 painted piece of sheet-iron in a gilded oval frame, lull 
 of gay colors, which is quite a curiosity as a work of 
 art, and, from a scientific point of view, leaves ample 
 room for speculation in the mind of the beholder as to 
 
 9* 
 
102 THE CONSULAR ARMS. 
 
 the genus and species of the animal intended to be 
 represented. 
 
 No wonder that a grave-looking person once came 
 into the office to inquire as to the best kind of seed for 
 a certain kind of fowl. He soon apologized, however, — 
 he thought mine was the office of the Ornithological 
 Society, and he took me, I suppose, for its president. 
 
 A music teacher whom I had for my children told 
 them that the first time he saw the arms over the door 
 from the other side of the street (" before he had the 
 honor of our acquaintance") he thought it was the 
 sign of a poultry dealer. 
 
 The landlord of the house in which the consulate 
 Tvas situated for several years was a large, portly man, 
 and was fond of standing in the little front garden, his 
 head garnished with a showy smoking-cap ; his well- 
 fed figure in connection with the sign outside soon 
 procured him in the neighborhood the appellation of 
 the Adlerwirth, — the host of the Eagle. 
 
 Each of our States has its arms, the devices being 
 mostly of a very realistic nature. Michigan has in ad- 
 dition a crest, in the shape of a tin helmet, belonging 
 to no particular period, and not meaning anything in 
 particular, — or if it does, its meaning must be known 
 best to those who made it. 
 
 There are a great many persons in our republican 
 country who have a hankering after arms. 1 was 
 called upon on several occasions to hunt up the arms 
 of families whose ancestors came from Bavaria. The 
 Eoyal Library furnished me with the necessary works 
 on genealog}" and heraldry, and in a few cases I was able 
 to rejoice my correspondents by sending them a draw- 
 ing of the coveted arms, which I suppose they soon 
 had painted on tbeir carriage doors, stamped on all 
 their plate, and worked into all their linen. 
 
 A more innocent pursuit than hunting up arms is 
 that of hunting up genealogies. It is not every one 
 
HUNTING UP LOST TRUNKS, 103 
 
 that has arms, but everybody has ancestors. The 
 hunting up of these worthies in 'old church registers is 
 pretty troublesome work. I generally emplo3'ed some 
 poor parson to do this, making the applicants pay for 
 the labor. One case came quite expensive on account 
 of the great mass of investigation and writing which 
 attended it, owing to the number of years the family 
 reached back, and owing to its extensive ramifications. 
 I think in this case I can depart from my rule and give 
 the real name of the family, — it was Smith. 
 
 But if arms and genealogies were the worst things 
 people wanted, consuls would be well off. There is 
 something interesting in the pursuit of such subjects, in 
 digging out the armorial bearings of ancestors from 
 dusty tomes through centuries back for the benefit of 
 their simple republican progeny, who so much esteem 
 these attributes of monarchical countries and despotic 
 ages, — it is instructive to find how the little weaknesses 
 of these ancestors have unerringly descended to them- 
 selves ; but when it comes to hunting up lost trunks, 
 there is something less ennobling in the pursuit, and 
 yet we are called upon to do that too. The system of 
 checking baggage in Germany is very complete, — it is as 
 good perhaps as with us, — it therefore seemed wonder- 
 ful to me that so many trunks should go astray, and 
 that I should always be the party selected to restore 
 them to their owners. 
 
 A couple of ladies wrote from Stuttgart, ..." We 
 liave heard nothing of our trunks, and we are in great 
 distress of mind about it. Will you have the kindness 
 to write to the chef de gare at Florence and Yerona and 
 Munich, and see if you can get an}^ information about 
 them. If you could find out for me where they are, I 
 would go myself to find them if we can't get them 
 otherwise. Please, out of jnty to two poor American 
 ladies in distress, try to learn something about them as 
 soon as possible, 
 
 " Very respectfully, 
 
 "Annie McClosky." 
 
104 HUNTING UP LOST TRUNKS. 
 
 Such an appealing letter had due effect, and I did 
 what was asked of me. 
 
 Some months later a couple of ladies called at the 
 consulate to get addresses of American residents. They 
 had a slight Irish brogue, and their lool^s and manners 
 were such as convinced me that they were natives of 
 the green isle of Erin, and not just members of the 
 upper ten. It turned out that one of these ladies was 
 Annie McClosky. I strongly suspected that they had 
 no legal right to call themselves " two poor American 
 ladies," and that they had tackled the American consul 
 in their distress because it was the easiest thing for 
 them to do. 
 
 A gentleman had a great ado about some trunks that 
 were miscarried somewhere on his route across Bavaria. 
 He wrote and telegraphed to me nearly a dozen times 
 about them, and in his letters told me that he was di- 
 rector of a railroad company himself in the United 
 States, and knew all about such things, and he darkly 
 hinted to me that he was a person of great influence at 
 home, and I was led to suppose that he held the fate 
 of consuls in his hand. Of course such a personage 
 was not to be trifled with. I went to the Eoyal Head 
 Director of the Eoyal Bavarian Eailroads, who received 
 me very politely, and showed me a batch of tele- 
 grams he had received in regard to the matter and of 
 his answers thereto, and showed me that everything 
 was already being done on the part of the Direction to 
 ferret out the trunks and to restore them to their owner. 
 The gentleman received his trunks soon afterwards, 
 and I thought he would be thankful ; but I straight- 
 way received another letter from him telling me that 
 he had been put to an expense of over one hundred and 
 twenty florins in telegraphing, hotel bills, etc., caused 
 by the delay, which, ho said, the company were 
 bound to refund him, and he wanted me to direct 
 him as to the ^^ surest and most expeditious way of 
 getting his money back." He thought I ought to take 
 the matter in hand for him. Not wishing the gentle- 
 man to lose any further money in an attempt at re- 
 
WANTING CONSUL TO CALL ON SUNDAY. 105 
 
 ceiving compensation for such outlays at the hands of 
 a German railroad company, I advised him to take the 
 advice of a good lawyer on the subject. 
 
 A Mr. Bothers had left three trunks at a forwarding 
 agent's on storage. He wanted one of the trunks sent 
 to him, but was afraid the agents would not send him 
 the right one, so he wanted the consul to "go there and 
 see the trunk so that it is all right." 
 
 And a Mrs. Troublewell writes: "I left my trunks at 
 
 No. Street, with Mr. , with his consent,'' etc. 
 
 . . . "Will you please see to this immediately, as I 
 want to go to Venice. Please write to me at Venice 
 and send the trunk directly through to the care of the 
 ' consel,' and you shall be paid for all expenses. You will 
 remember I have money at & Co.'s bank still." 
 
 Another lady sends over a letter late on Saturday 
 evening, and wants the consul to go to her apartments 
 the next day (Sunday) to give hei; a certificate as to 
 the contents of her trunks, which she is going to send 
 to the United States. She would not put the consul 
 to the trouble, she said, only she wanted to rest her- 
 self to-morrow, and was trying to get well enough so 
 that she might be able to leave Munich the next 
 (Monday) morning. 
 
 Now, this lady could have come to the consulate any 
 day, when she went out, to get the desired papers, but 
 it suited her better to let the consul go to her, and on 
 a Sunday too (she was a good church-woman, b}^ the 
 bye, but in Europe her religious views must have 
 become blunted a little). She tried flattery at the end 
 of her note, saying, " I do not like to go to another 
 consul about it, as you know about my trunks, and if 
 the document is given me by you, I shall feel quite sure 
 of its being all right." 
 
 I necessitated her going to another consul notwith- 
 standing, for I did not give myself the pleasure of pay- 
 ing her the official visit as she proposed, and I did not 
 see her afterwards. 
 
 There are, of course, cases whore real illness prevents 
 parties from leaving their bed or their room, and who 
 
106 ENGAGING ROOMS. 
 
 have important and pressing papers to sign and ac- 
 knowledge before the consul, and I suppose no officer 
 is so inhumane as not to comply with such requests; 
 but our female fellow-citizens, from being just a little 
 too much spoiled at home by our male fellow-citizens, 
 don't always display that tact and consideration which 
 should be the distinguishing characteristic of a well- 
 bred and well-educated lady, and I am sorry to have to 
 add that this fact was demonstrated to me very un- 
 pleasantly on many occasions. 
 
 After the performance of one of Wagner's longest 
 operas (being accompanied by a ladj^ and trying for her 
 sake to get out of the draft into the cloak-room) I was 
 boarded by a couple of female fellow-citizens, who had 
 hailed me from afar in the crowd (and from whom I 
 could not escape), one of whom wanted me to give her 
 the addresses of some Americans in town, and the 
 other wanted me to take a note that she was going 
 to leave, and to remember that her letters were to be 
 redirected to such and such a place. 
 
 This forced intrusion of the shop within the walls 
 which had scarcely ceased re-echoing the last strains of 
 the " Meistersinger" was unpoetic, to say the least. 
 
 Next to the hunting up of lost trunks, the most in- 
 spiriting work is the engaging of rooms or apartments 
 for people who intend honoring Munich with their 
 presence. It may appear singular, but they don't 
 hesitate in the least writing to the consul to do such 
 things for them, and they are generally very particular 
 about it, as to site, and as to being comfortably fur- 
 nished, and healthy, and respectable, and cheap. Some- 
 times their requests come by wire, as, for instance, "Am. 
 Consul, Munich: Mrs. Brassbound and daughter will be 
 at Munich to-morrow ; order one room at Four Seasons.'* 
 
 A party writes from Switzerland, "My dear Sir: 
 
 My daughter Mrs. will arrive on Friday evening 
 
 at Munich en route to Italy, with her baby and nurse. 
 As she has no escort w^ith her, may I ask you to see 
 her on Saturday morning and assist her getting her 
 tickets, etc. ? If you go to the country will your clerk 
 
TRAVELLING COMPANIONS FOR LADIES. 107 
 
 (io as much ? Perhaps you would engage a room for 
 her at the Bavarian Hotel." 
 
 But it is not only babies and nurses that are to be 
 looked after, — a lady wrote to me that she was travel- 
 ling alone and was not quite well, and asked me to find 
 some agreeable lady travelling companions for her; she 
 was coming to Munich for a few days, and was then 
 going to Italy. 
 
 It must not be supposed that all these requests came 
 from friends or acquaintances (in that case there would 
 be no object in mentioning them here), but from per- 
 fect strangers, who write to the consul because they 
 think the consul is at his post for no other purpose but 
 to do such things for them. 
 
 A lady saw a fine painting which she would have 
 liked to buy, but the price was too high for her. After 
 she left Munich she wrote to the consul to try and bar- 
 gain with the artist for it, and to get it at her price. 
 Another wanted me to go to a sculptor's and hurry 
 him up with a statuette she had ordered of him. 
 
 A gentleman passing the summer in the mountains 
 for the benefit of his nerves complains that he so 
 frequently receives his newspapers in a torn condition, 
 — he has remonstrated at the post-office there several 
 times, and now writes to the consul, — thinks it a shame 
 that Americans can't get their newspapers abroad with- 
 out being torn: sometimes one half of them torn away, 
 — something must be done in the matter. 
 
 A literary gentleman notifies the consul that he has 
 written a work on Goethe's Faust, and wants the consul 
 to have it perused by some competent authority at 
 Munich before it is translated or published. He wants 
 " a candid opinion about its merits," but does not want 
 the consul *' to give it to any old fogy to read." Ho 
 
 proposes Professor to the consul as a suitable man 
 
 for the purpose. 
 
 Then come a couple of letters from a gentleman who 
 had bought some glassware, and when the goods 
 arrived he found a good many things in the box which 
 he did not order, but one of the princi|)al tilings which 
 he did order — a punch-bowl — was omitted, lie simply 
 
108 WANTING SITUATIONS. 
 
 wants the consul to go to the firm and get that punch- 
 bowl for him and have it sent on, and to tell the people 
 that he is not going to pay any more than he has 
 already paid, for he cannot help it if they make mis- 
 takes and send him things he did not buy, — but he 
 wanted h\s punch-bowl. 
 
 That a consul is very frequently called upon to col- 
 lect debts for other people will not, I suppose, surprise 
 any one. If he cares about doing that kind of work, 
 it is a matter of business and he can charge a percentage 
 on the amount — if he gets the money. 
 
 Sometimes young Americans do not write home for 
 a long time, and their parents get anxious about them 
 and write to the consul to hunt them up and give in- 
 formation about them — and their morals. Once I was 
 requested to hunt up a man's sister who was supposed 
 to be in Munich, to see her and try to persuade her to 
 write. 
 
 Lots of persons, mostly Germans, come, wanting the 
 consul to give them a situation as clerk or secretary, or 
 at least to give them a recommendation that will assist 
 them in getting a situation elsewhere. They are fond 
 of parading their broken English, and are hard to get 
 rid of 
 
 One morning a lady called — elegantly dressed, but 
 somewhat bulky, — who took up a good deal of room in 
 the office, and who cleared several things out of the 
 way on the writing-desk to have a place to rest her 
 arm upon — to get the address of some artist to go 
 round with her and her party to the picture-galleries 
 that they might have the benefit of his criticisms. I 
 told her I did not know of any artist who did such 
 things for strangers. **' Oh, yes," she said, " in Florence 
 we had a splendid artist, who went to the galleries 
 with us and explained all the pictures to us." I took 
 the liberty of telling her that I doubted such a person 
 being an artist, — that I supposed it was some valet de 
 place who talked art at them ; at any rate, I did not 
 feel justified in giving her the address of any of my 
 artist friends for such a purpose. She put on an ap- 
 pearance of feeling quite injured that I would not com- 
 
TRAMPS. 109 
 
 ply with her request, and intimated that it was not at 
 all necessary for the Munich artists to be so " stuck up." 
 
 Then came the tramps. It would hardly be believed 
 what a number of these gentlemen choose Europe for 
 the field of their excursions. I must, in justice to our 
 people, say that almost without a single exception these 
 were German-Americans, — naturalized citizens, drawn 
 to the Fatherland by the natural ties of aifection. I 
 sometimes had three or four such visits a day. It was 
 almost always money they wanted, — simple and direct, 
 — though they sometimes beat round the bush by ask- 
 ing for old clothes as a starter; but a favorite craving 
 is for the consul to give them a recommendation to the 
 Eailroad "Direction" for a free passage to the next 
 town where there is a consulate. We really have no right 
 to make such a request to the railroad "Directions," 
 yet some consuls are weak enough to do it, and I have 
 to thank several of them for the tramps thus for- 
 warded to Munich, and who expected me in turn to 
 forward them farther. These free excursionists were 
 often impudent enough to ask if there were many 
 Americans at the next place they intended going to. 
 
 Sometimes they wanted tickets to quite far-off places, 
 as if it were not worth their while to stop at any little 
 consulates on the way. One man wanted a ticket to 
 Milan (he was recommended to me by one of my col- 
 leagues), or, if I couldn't give him a tickejt, would I 
 lend him ten florins, which he would be sure to pay 
 back. Another man wanted me to give him a free pass 
 to New York for himself and his sister. They had re- 
 latives there who would help them ; he would be sure 
 to pay me back some day ; if I would only do it, I 
 would be making two people happy, he said. Another 
 man was so hard up he didn't know what to do. lie 
 was dreadfully ragged and dirty, and because I refused 
 to give him a list of the Americans at Munich to whom 
 he could go begging he got very violent, and said that 
 if he was caught begging on the streets he would be 
 locked up or sent out of the country. lie thought the 
 best thing ho could do would be to steal or rob, or 
 
 10 
 
110 TRAMPS, 
 
 shoot the judge at Thulba (who it appears had 
 handled him roughly), and then he would be provided 
 for. With this threat, and a small sum with w^hich to 
 get something to eat, he left the consulate. 
 
 A man who claimed to be a sailor, and who seemed 
 to be sailing over all Europe on the railroads and on 
 foot, insisted that I was bound to send him to Antwerp 
 to get on board ship again. He was very much the 
 worse for liquor, and it was with great difficulty and 
 with the assistance of a police-officer that I got him 
 out of the office. 
 
 The regular routine was somewhat varied once by a 
 woman coming in, in great distress, with a little baby 
 in her arms. She was a French woman, and spoke 
 nothing but her native tongue, and said her husband, 
 James Wilson, was an American citizen, — was a musi- 
 cian at a circus at Vienna, and she wanted a ticket to 
 that place to join him there. 
 
 Sometimes the parties came in the evening, and to 
 my private lodgings, in which case they fared better, 
 for my wife then gave them something to eat and 
 drink, and something to take along with them. What- 
 ever doubts one might have as to the truth of the tale 
 each had to tell, there was something refreshingly sat- 
 isfactory in the way they demonstrated (when the 
 victuals were set before them) the truth of their asser- 
 tion that they were hungry and thirsty. 
 
 But even tramps are not the most formidable people 
 one has to encounter; it is not necessary to expend 
 much politeness on them. 
 
 Of all persons who come to bother the consul, the 
 most borish are those who, out of pure laziness or ar- 
 rogance, want to make use of him as a living time-table, 
 by having him tell them at what hour the trains leave 
 for certain places, and when they get there, and how 
 many English miles it is, and how much it costs, and 
 whether the consul does not consider it pretty slow 
 travelling. Now, all this information (except as to the 
 last point, and that is not of much value) they can get 
 much better at their hotels, or by consulting the rail- 
 
A LIVING TIME-TABLE. m 
 
 way time-tables or their guide-books ; but no, — it's 
 easier for them to go to their consul. These people 
 are generally armed with a circular letter of introduc- 
 tion from some senator or congressman or from the head 
 of one of the departments, saying that the writer will 
 feel personally obliged to the consul for any attentions 
 he may show the bearer. Something must be done, 
 therefore, and once in the clutches of the bearer when 
 he gets to inquiring about travelling routes, it is not so 
 easy to get out of them, — one has to sit and bear it. It 
 is no use politely handing him the last Bradshaw or 
 Hendschell, and telling him he will there find full infor- 
 mation, — he shoves the book back without opening it, 
 and says, "Oh, won't you please look it out for me? I 
 never could make head or tail of these confounded rail- 
 road books." He puts one's knowledge of geography, 
 too, to the severest tests by asking unexpectedly which 
 is the directest way, supposing jou are in Paris, or 
 London, or Copenhagen, or Constantinople, to get to 
 such and such a place ; and then he wants to know 
 how many kilometres it is and how often one has to 
 change cars. 
 
 A gentleman took the trouble to write to me to tell 
 him which was the best route to Suez: he wanted to 
 go there to the opening of the canal; another tele- 
 graphs from Italy, "American Consul, Munich: Give 
 me price in francs of first class from Munich to Yerona. 
 Answer paid. Borington." Now, couldn't that fellow 
 have looked it up for himself? The waiter at the hotel 
 he was stopping at coukl have told him at once. An- 
 other writes a postal card, dated at the railroad station 
 at Hof (where the time-tables are hanging on all sides 
 and where there is a friendly broken-English speaking 
 portier to answer questions), to ask at what time trains 
 leave Munich to Paris, and how long a journey it is, 
 and what the ticket costs; and another, — but this is 
 tedious. 
 
112 MAN WITH A BALLOON. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Man with a Balloon — Guardian and trustee for fatherless children — Not 
 much luck in this respect — Chapman and Butler, arrest and trial — 
 Lady in prison for debt. 
 
 One bright, invigorating morning in the early autumn, 
 a very long man came into the office. Perhaps he was 
 not as long as he appeared to be, but he was very thin, 
 and his trousers were narrow. He had on a greenish 
 sort of a shooting-jacket, which was not American in 
 make nor in material, and yet the man was unmis- 
 takably a thoroughbred Yankee. I asked him to be 
 seated, and when he got down to the lowness of the 
 chair, his legs did certainly seem to take up a good 
 deal of room. When he flung one leg over the other, 
 the semicircle he described with it was so great that I 
 was afraid the centrifugal force would make his boot 
 fly off". He doubled himself )3till further by leaning for- 
 ward so as to bring his head and shoulders down to my 
 level, and folded his hands across his stomach as if 
 there were but little in it and he wanted to keep that 
 little safe. 
 
 He went pretty straight to work by telling me he 
 was a balloonist. He had made ever so many ascen- 
 sions in America, and had now come over to Europe to 
 try his luck, — but luck had tried him still harder; in 
 short, he was in difficulties. 
 
 It was just the time of the October festival, and he had 
 come to Munich with his balloon to make an ascent 
 here. He could not get the permission of the police au- 
 thorities, however, as there were already such a number 
 of shows of all kinds. What he wanted, in the first 
 place, was for me to get him the required license to 
 make an ascension. I explained to him that I could 
 not help him there, because the actions of the police 
 were regulated by strict rules, and, by his own show- 
 ing, he had been too late in making his application. 
 
MAN WITH A BALLOON. 113 
 
 There was really nothing to be done in the matter. 
 The man was somewhat disappointed, but he was not 
 disheartened. He considered awhile. Then he came 
 with his second proposition, which was, that I should 
 lend him some money. 
 
 It was embarrassing for me, but there being just at 
 that time looming-up signs of the Oriental question 
 taking a new phase, I was compelled, out of political 
 considerations, to decline. 
 
 The man must have taken a liking to me, neverthe- 
 less, for he did not go off in a rage, as he ought to have 
 done, but made the startling proposition to me that I 
 should go into partnership with him. He placed un- 
 bounded confidence in me, for he said if I would only 
 advance the capital sufficient to pay for the gas for in- 
 flating his balloon, and for the necessary advertise- 
 ments, I might take in the money on the day of the 
 ascension. I need not go up with him, he said ; I might 
 sit at the gate, in fact, and have full financial control of 
 the enclosure, and that then, after paying me back the 
 sum I had advanced, he would share the profits equally 
 with me. 
 
 I suppose I must have been blind to my own interests, 
 as I very often am, and at the present moment I can 
 scarcely understand how it was that I did not close 
 with this proposal. It was another opportunity gone. 
 
 He then offered to sell me his balloon at such a very 
 reduced rate that I am almost ashamed to write that 
 I let that opportunity slip also. Included in the very 
 low price he named was also the benefit of his ex- 
 perience, and complete instructions as to the filling of 
 the balloon, as to managing it, and — as to making the 
 thing pay. He knew that I would be able to sell it 
 again at an immense profit ; there were a great many 
 of the show people out on the grounds (the Theresien- 
 wiese, where the October festival is held) who had ap- 
 proached him with offers, but ho would rather have 
 the balloon fall into scientific hands, and he was sure 
 I would soon find professional men in such a great city 
 as Munich who would be eager to buy it ; it was 
 want of time alone that prevented him from finding 
 h 10^ 
 
114 MAN WITH A BALLOON, 
 
 the right purchaser, for he was in a hurry to get home 
 and wanted to leave Munich at once. 
 
 Although I was plainly a loser in not jumping at his 
 offer and going into the proposed speculation, and 
 must have sunk very much in his estimation, he 
 generously gave me yet another chance. He swung 
 back his leg, describing another great semicircle, and 
 fumbled in his pocket, and at last drew out something 
 wrapped up in a limp bit of newspaper that diffused 
 rather a chees}^ smell through the consulate. When he 
 opened the paper he displayed an instrument made 
 of brass and glass which did not look unlike some 
 very clumsy sort of pocket-watch with a very dirty 
 face. 
 
 " Xow, Consul, here's a patent ^ Annie Ride' barometer 
 which I'd like to sell you cheap. It's a most useful in- 
 strument for you to have. You see this scale, and this 
 little index? Well, this instrument '11 show you right 
 away just how high you are. You see there ? — that's 
 a thousand feet. There's two thousand feet ; there's 
 five thousand feet, and there's ten thousand feet, and 
 it goes up to twenty-five thousand feet. That's higher 
 than Mount Blank, that is. ^NTow with this instrument 
 you always know where you are when you go up. I 
 haven't used itlono-, and it's as wod as new. It's hard 
 for me to part with it, but I'll give it to you for a third 
 of what it's worth." 
 
 It was indeed, on closer examination, a beautiful 
 little instrument, — somewhat tarnished and clammy 
 irom being carried in a warm pocket, but then (I 
 thought), if I bought it I could easily polish it up again. 
 The man's assurances convinced me that it was as use- 
 ful as it was ornamental. I was in quite an undecided 
 state of mind for a while and began to feel sensible of 
 a burning desire to possess the instrument, but when, 
 after cool consideration, I called to mind the fact that 
 I was not in the habit of going higher than the garret 
 of a six-story house (to visit some of my artist friends), 
 or, sometimes on my travels, to the top of a steeple, 
 the height of which is determined (for they are always 
 very particular about measuring steeples), I came to 
 
GUARDIAN AND TRUSTEE. 115 
 
 the conclusion that I should not very often have occa- 
 sion to use the instrument. I was obliged to decline 
 this third offer. 
 
 I am afraid I did the wrong thing again : the long 
 man's patience was evidently exhausted, for he slammed 
 the door very hard when he went out. 
 
 It sometimes happens that a consul is called upon to 
 be trustee or guardian for fatherless children. 
 
 I had a United States pensioner whose husband was 
 killed in our war. She had returned to her native 
 place in Bavaria afterwards with her children, and 
 drew her pension regularly, but after having been here 
 for several years, and not liking it any longer in Ger- 
 many, she determined on going back to the United 
 States to live. The grandfather of the children had left 
 them a small sum of money on trust, the capital to be 
 paid to them upon their coming of age. The woman 
 being an American citizen, and having expressed her 
 determination to return to her adopted country, the 
 court, at her solicitation, decided that if the consul 
 would accept the charge, he should be appointed trus- 
 tee and guardian for the children. 
 
 The consul accepted, but he hadn't particular luck in 
 the affair. 
 
 I learned that the eldest of my wards (whose pecu- 
 niary and moral interests I was supposed to have to 
 guard) was not only just about coming of age, but 
 was also just about coming out of jail, where he had 
 been for the second time, for stealing. There wei-e 
 several bills to be paid yet for him, which left but little 
 of his portion of the legacy remaining, and made him 
 dissatisfied. 
 
 The family got over to America, and 1 was glad when 
 the third and last of the children reached his majority, 
 and I could close my accounts with them. 
 
 I was soon after brought into communication with 
 jail-birds of a much deeper dye. 
 
 Police Counsellor B called at the office one 
 
 morning, saying ho had been directed by the chief of 
 
116 TWO AMERICAN COUNTERFEITERS. 
 
 police to confer with me on a certain matter of some 
 gravity. He then told me that on the evening before 
 two Americans, giving the names of John Butler and 
 I. E. Conkling, of New York, had been arrested at the 
 railway station just as they were on the point of 
 leaving Munich for Dresden. They had had a large 
 quantity of United States fifty-dollar notes changed by- 
 several bankers in the city, and one of the latter having 
 a strong suspicion that the notes were counterfeit had 
 given notice to the police, and a detective had been set 
 to watch their movements. When the officer got on 
 the trail, he found that they had just left one of the 
 larger cafes and had betaken themselves to the rail- 
 way station, where they were found, doing quite the 
 nobby thing (for Germany) by sitting in the first-class 
 waiting-room. As the train they intended taking did 
 not leave till evening, it was somewhat strange that 
 they should go to the station in the afternoon, several 
 hours before the time. Some casual questions were put 
 to them by the detective, when they at once took 
 alarm, — Butler tried to make his escape through the 
 door, whilst Conkling was quite consternated and even 
 trembled. From their nervous manner and the con- 
 tradictory answers they gave, the officer considered 
 himself justified in arresting them. On being taken to 
 the police-station, it was found that the men had been 
 stopping at different hotels and under other names 
 from those now given. The man Conkling, on being 
 pressed with questions, admitted having changed sev- 
 eral fifty-dollar notes of the National Broadway Bank 
 and of the Tradesmen's National Bank of New York 
 in the city, but stoutly denied having any more in his 
 possession. On being told that his person must be 
 searched, he acted in the most violent and unruly 
 manner, but he was obliged to submit to the procedure, 
 and it was then found that he had artfully secreted 
 in various parts of his dress over a hundred United 
 States fifty-dollar notes and a large quantity of ten- 
 dollar notes of the Consolidated Bank of Canada. The 
 belief that these notes were counterfeits, and a tele- 
 gram from the police at*Vienna stating that the year 
 
TWO AMERICAN COUNTERFEITERS. II7 
 
 previous two Americans (supposed to be the same) 
 had sold similar counterfeit notes there in great num- 
 bers and made their escape, was sufficient to cause their 
 detention and to have them arraigned for trial. 
 
 Police Counsellor B in the first place wanted my 
 
 opinion as to whether the notes were genuine or not. 
 I could not give him a decided opinion, not having any 
 genuine notes at hand to compare them with, but I 
 thought from the feel of the paper that they were 
 counterfeits. I could only advise him to send some 
 specimens to the consuls at Hamburg and Bremen, who 
 would certainly have an opportunity of making a 
 comparison. 
 
 The prisoners had United States passports, which 
 were deposited at the police-office, but the officer think- 
 ing they might be forged, and asking me if I would 
 do him the favor to examine them, I made an appoint- 
 ment to go to the police-office that afternoon. 
 
 I had no reason to doubt the genuineness of the 
 passports; one was issued by Mr. Welsh at London, 
 the other by Mr. Kasson at Vienna, both of recent 
 date. The officers seemed dubious on this point, and 
 I therefore told them they had better write to the 
 ministers at London and Vienna, where they would 
 receive information. They then asked me if, on hear- 
 ing the men speak, I could decide whether they were 
 Americans or Englishmen, to which I answered that 
 that would be but a negative proceeding, for even if 
 the men were born Englishmen it was quite a possible 
 thing that they might be naturalized American citi- 
 zens, and therefore entitled to their passports. The 
 officers seemed urgent on the point of nationality, and 
 suggested that I should speak with the men and ques- 
 tion them. At this stage of the proceedings I did not 
 feel called upon to do that, and replied that only u|)on 
 an official request from the Director of Police, or on a 
 request from the prisoners themselves, as American 
 citizens, I would do it. 
 
 The next day there came such a request from the 
 prisoners. The detective who had made the arrest 
 came in person to my office, saying that the man 
 
tiff TWO AMERICAN COUNTERFEITERS. 
 
 Conkling had asked to see me, and that he had some- 
 thing to say to me that he would say to no one else. 
 Butler had also asked to see me. 
 
 When I repaired to the police-office, Conkling was 
 brought up. He was a small, nervous man with a 
 sandy, fall beard, but bald on the top of his head, very 
 pale face, and with stooping shoulders, and was about 
 forty years of age ; he was well dressed, but not dandi- 
 fied. He appeared very much confused. He first com- 
 plained of being put in " a dark place, where there was 
 no light, — where I can't see anybody," and that he 
 was continually asked questions which they had no 
 right to put to him. He said he did not know why he 
 had been arrested, — that there had been no charge 
 made against him. 
 
 I told him the charge against him was that of pass- 
 ing counterfeit money, and that other money found 
 upon him was believed to be counterfeit too. I pointed 
 out to him that the fact of he and his companion 
 having stopped at different hotels in Munich under 
 false names, together with the contradictory state- 
 ments made by them, were strong grounds of sus- 
 picion against them. I cautioned him that I merely 
 saw him at his own request and that I had no desire to 
 question him, and that he need not say anything that 
 w^ould incriminate himself. If he were innocent he 
 could, no doubt, easily prove himself so ; if guilty, I 
 advised him that a full confession at the proper time 
 would work to his advantage in tending to shorten his 
 sentence. 
 
 The man, who kept edging up closer to me, and con- 
 tinually stroking his beard with his white, attenuated 
 hand, did not attempt to make any denial of his guilt, 
 but gradually came out with expressions which, I 
 thought, fully established it. In the first place, he 
 said he did not mean any harm by taking a false name, 
 — he had no object in it, — he didn't know himself how 
 he came to do it. Then he said, " Suppose the notes 
 are not good, can't I make restitution to the bankers 
 and thus make it all right?" He said the police had 
 no right to search his person nor to ask him any ques- 
 
TWO AMERICAN COUNTERFEITERS. 119 
 
 lions when arrested on mere suspicion, — that such a 
 thing would not be done in America or England, — that 
 there the waj's of the police were different. 1 said to 
 him, "You seem to know all about the ways of the 
 police in England and America." " Oh, no," he said, 
 " only what I read in the papers about such things." 
 He asked me, in case of his being found guilty, if the 
 punishment were a heavy one. Not being fully versed 
 in the criminal code of Bavaria I could not tell him 
 what the sentence might be, but added that I feared it 
 might be a long imprisonment. In the United States, 
 I said, he might get as much as twenty years for such 
 a crime. To this he quickly replied, "It only says fif- 
 teen years on our notes ;" he seemed to have studied 
 that point. In the further course of conversation he 
 came out with such remarks as, " I cannot say that I 
 am entirely innocent," — " I expect to be punished," — 
 " if I get a long term I will not be able to live it out ; 
 I am already quite broken down in health," — " I wish 
 the United States would call for my extradition." 
 
 He asked me, rather hesitatingly, whether I thought 
 they would let him write a letter to a woman in Eng- 
 land who had charge of his two children, — he wanted 
 her to provide for them, but did not want her to know 
 what had happened to him, for in that case, he said, her 
 house would be surrounded by the police. From all he 
 said I was quite convinced that he was connected with 
 some gang in England. The letter he wanted to write 
 was probably a blind, — its real object was to let his 
 pals know his situation. He seemed to think, however, 
 it was all up with him then, and he said, mournfully, 
 he had been made a tool of by others. 
 
 At the end of our conversation, as he was about leav- 
 ing the room, the other man was led in ; they merely 
 said good-day to each other, but it was accompanied 
 by a knowing look which evidently conveyed some 
 secret sign. 
 
 The second man was a short, thick-set man, having 
 the appearance of being a mechanic or something of 
 that sort, a strong, heavy fellow, with short black hair, 
 moustache, and goatee. I told him who T was and that 
 
120 TWO AMERICAN COUNTERFEITERS, 
 
 I had heard he wanted to see me. ^^No," he said, "I 
 did not ask to see you ; I have nothing to say." He 
 looked dogged and determined, and clearly knew his 
 business, for having seen that I had been talking with 
 his partner he deemed it best to keep silent. He was, 
 therefore, taken back to his cell. From the few words 
 spoken by him, and from his appearance and manners, 
 I set him down as an Englishman. Conkling was an 
 American. He said he was born in New Jersey. 
 
 The trial of these two men took place on the 17th 
 of February, 1879. In the mean time, at Conkling's 
 request I had visited him at his prison a couple of times. 
 He had nothing particular to tell me ; I suppose the 
 poor fellow only wanted a chance of speaking English 
 a little. I offered to send him some books to read, but 
 he thanked me, saying he had plenty of books. He 
 told me that he was in a room with four Germans who 
 were also awaiting trial, — that at first he could not con- 
 verse with them, but that he had procured a German 
 grammar and was studjnns:; the language, and had 
 made some progress in it. He looked deathly pale, and 
 there was little I could say to comfort him. He seemed 
 resigned to his fate, and said he had heard in prison 
 that he might get as much as fifteen years. 
 
 Butler never desired to see me. 
 
 Upon the arrest of these men their photographs 
 were taken and sent to the State Department at 
 Washington. The Chief of the United States Secret 
 Service recognized the man giving the name of Butler 
 to be Billy Baker, alias Dobson, one of the Dobson 
 brothers of California who had acquired such notoriety 
 some years before. The other man giving the name 
 of Edward Conkling was identified by one of our de- 
 tectives as the well-known Joseph B. Chapman, a 
 fugitive from justice. He was one of the robbers of 
 the Third National Bank of Baltimore in 1872, who 
 made away with some three hundred thousand dollars* 
 worth of paper. Chapman then went to London, where 
 he lived in sumptuous style for a time, but when he 
 learned that proceedings were being taken for his extra- 
 dition he disappeared. In 1874 he was in Constan- 
 
TWO AMERICAN COUNTERFEITERS, 121 
 
 tinoplc, and was there arrested for forgery of British 
 notes, was convicted, and sent for three years to prison 
 in Smyrna. In the same prison was confined a man 
 known as Howard Adams, who formerly kept a bar- 
 room in San Francisco, for forgeries upon the Ottoman 
 Bank. Adams made the acquaintance of Chapman, 
 and learned that the latter's wife was holding safe a 
 great part of his gains. Adams managed to break jail, 
 and escaped. He at once hunted up Chapman's wife, 
 cruelly murdered her, and robbed her of all her jewels 
 and money. Chapman had two children living in Lon- 
 don. An English woman, very respectable in appear- 
 ance, called on me some time afterwards to get per- 
 mission, through me, to visit Chapman in jail ; she said 
 a high-born lady in London would provide for the 
 children. I had my suspicions that my visitor was in 
 some closer and less innocent way connected with 
 Chapman. 
 
 At their trial these men were each defended by good 
 lawyers, but the trial brought out facts which stamped 
 Chapman and Butler as two of the most precious 
 scoundrels, who had been plying their nefarious trade 
 not only in the United States and Canada, but in almost 
 every country of Europe. That the notes sold by 
 them were counterfeits was attested by the Treasury 
 Department at Washington, and communications from 
 the police departments of New York and London char- 
 acterized them as most dangerous forgers and burglars, 
 belonging to an organized band of thieves and robbers 
 in England. 
 
 In 1878 some five thousand dollars' worth of United 
 States notes were sold by these men in Vienna. These 
 notes, which were, at the time, not suspected, found 
 their way to Hamburg, and were there sold to emi- 
 grants, who, upon their arrival in New York, dis- 
 covered, to their horror, their worthlessness. Chap- 
 man was no stranger in Munich. In 1873 he drew in 
 that city six hundred and seventy-five pounds sterling 
 upon a circular letter of credit, and in Brussels and 
 Vienna had also drawn some seven hundred pounds on 
 the same. It was discovered that this circular letter 
 F 11 
 
122 LADY IN PRISON FOR DEBT. 
 
 was originally for two hundred pounds only, but Chap- 
 man had so artfully altered it to two thousand pounds 
 as to cheat the bankers in three large cities. He and 
 others of his gang had also drawn money in Mannheim, 
 Frankfurt, and other places on forged papers, and the 
 Swiss police had charges against them too for similar 
 oifences perpetrated there. 
 
 At the trial, the ways of a German court of justice 
 did not meet the approval of these men. They pro- 
 tested, especially, against direct questions being put to 
 them, saying that in the English and American courts 
 no person on trial was obliged to give an answer that 
 would criminate him ; hereupon they were instructed 
 by the judge that such was not the practice of the 
 German courts, and that a refusal to answer on their 
 part would be construed as a confirmation of the ques- 
 tion. The trial lasted two whole days. By degrees 
 they made confessions which, of themselves, were 
 enough to establish their guilt. Chapman acknowl- 
 edged being a forger, but indignantly denied being a 
 thief. 
 
 The sentence pronounced against Chapman was nine 
 years', against Butler, five years' imprisonment. There 
 were requisitions for the delivery of the prisoners from 
 the United States, the Austrian, and the Swiss govern- 
 ments after the serving of their terms in Bavaria, so 
 that their ultimate prospects of any years of ease and 
 freedom were extremely problematical. 
 
 Both men died in jail : Butler died in 1883, and 
 Chapman in 1884. The Ministry for Foreign Affairs 
 sent me a notice of the deaths. Chapman left some 
 effects, an inventory of which was also sent to me, and 
 which I reported to the State Department; he left a 
 lot of clothing, some jewelry, and quite a small library. 
 
 I was again brought within prison walls not long 
 afterwards, though this time the subject of my visit 
 was very different from the two hardened sinners I 
 have just written about. 
 
 The proprietor of one of the larger hotels sent round 
 to me one Sunday evening begging me to go at once to 
 
LADF IN PRISON FOR DEBT. 123 
 
 the City prison, as there was an American lady there 
 who had just been arrested at his house for debt, and 
 who had urgently demanded to see me. I hastened to 
 the hotel to get the particulars ; it was too late at any 
 rate that evening to get a permit to visit the prison. 
 The lady in question, although a born American, the 
 daughter of a gentleman who had held a high official 
 position at home, was no longer an American citizen, 
 
 as she had married Herr von W , who had been, 
 
 formerly. Secretary of Legation at the Embassy 
 
 in Munich. The Imperial Minister, who had died 
 
 only a week or so before, at Munich, was an uncle of 
 the lady's husband. This uncle had on several occa- 
 sions dutifully paid the not insignificant debts of this 
 sumptuously faring couple (who for the last year had 
 
 been living in great style at ), and had also, shortly 
 
 before his death, endorsed notes of his nephew for over 
 twenty thousand dollars, and had, besides, loaned him a 
 sum of over half the above amount. 
 
 On learning of the death of their good uncle, who 
 was, besides, a bachelor, they hurried to Munich in the 
 hope of finding themselves proclaimed his sole heirs 
 and of taking immediate possession of his property. 
 But cruel fate was against them, for another nephew 
 of the deceased minister (who had always felt himself 
 
 injured because Herr von W had been his uncle's 
 
 favorite) no sooner heard that the couple were in the 
 city than he had them arrested for debt, — partly for 
 debts owing to him personally, but principally for 
 debts owing to the estate. 
 
 There is no imprisonment for debt in Bavaria, but 
 in the case of foreigners, where fears are entertained 
 that they may abscond, they may be placed in deten- 
 tion for a period not longer than five months. 
 
 I knew the lady was no longer an American citizen, 
 and therefore I could not interfere officially, but I knew 
 who her relatives were, and I knew that she was a 
 personal friend of a distinguished American gentleman 
 
 with whom I was acquainted. I repaired to the 
 
 Legation that evening, intending to see the acting 
 secretary, for no new minister had been appointed ; I 
 
124 LADY IN PRISON FOR DEBT. 
 
 had hopes that I could induce him to set the lady at 
 liberty, seeing he had the husband in safety. The sec- 
 retary was *'not at home;" my card had probably 
 given him an inkling of the object of my visit. 
 
 I repaired next morning to the prison, and was 
 ushered up-stairs into a pretty large room, well lighted 
 and clean, though barely furnished. I found the lady re- 
 clining on her bed, dressed in very rich velvet, with a fur- 
 bordered cloak, and with kid glov.es reaching nearly to 
 the elbows, with about forty-seven buttons. It would 
 be out of place here to give any description of her per- 
 sonal appearance ; suffice it to say that it was not in 
 ill accordance with the richness and stylishness of her 
 dress. A girl, also a prisoner, had a mattress in the 
 corner of the room, and evidently acted, for the time 
 being, as servant to the lady. The girl went out of the 
 room to walk in the corridor during my visit. 
 
 The lady, without changing her position, and with- 
 out further introduction, ran over the catalogue of her 
 wrongs in a very voluble, but at the same time very 
 rambling manner, well spiced with anathemas against 
 her husband's cousin and the Secretary of Legation, 
 whom she called '' the dirty little Jew" more than 
 once. From the long diatribe I gleaned a confirma- 
 tion of the statements already written, and also, that 
 her affairs in America were in a pretty tangled condi- 
 tion. It was long, very long, before I was able to 
 put in a word, which simply was to tell her that I 
 could do nothing for her officially. She knew that 
 very well, but she implored me to write a letter in her 
 
 behalf to General , to tell him her situation and 
 
 to entreat his help, — which I did. She also wanted to 
 cable to America, and had written a couple of despatches 
 which covered nearly four pages of letter-paper each, 
 and I was obliged to hint to her that for a person who 
 was momentarily out of funds such a despatch would 
 be of somewhat disproportionate expense, and begged 
 her to sacrifice her feelings and send only a few 
 necessary words — and to the point. 
 
 Some accounts she gave of her husband's doings 
 were not calculated to generate any great feelings of 
 
LADV IN PRISON FOR DEBT, 125 
 
 respect for him, and I thought it would have been 
 better to have left such things unsaid before a stranger. 
 He was confined in a separate apartment, and had no 
 communication with her, but I believe she was not 
 grieving very much on that account. 
 
 The husband, it seems, took rather a light and airy- 
 view of their position, as was shown by some letters he 
 wrote during his confinement to his cousin, — his de- 
 tainer, — and which were read in court as evidence, and 
 which caused much merriment. He even tantalized 
 his cousin with the assurance that he would get no- 
 thing from him at any rate, while with him time was 
 passing very rapidly in prison, especially as he had 
 turned scientist, and had taken to the study of zoology, 
 and had made interesting observations as to the habits 
 of certain very small animals of which the prison bed 
 furnished some excellent specimens. 
 
 I left the lady, promising to do what I could for her. 
 It was onl}^ a day or two after this that our Minister 
 at Berlin received a cable despatch from the State De- 
 partment to inquire into the lady's situation, which he 
 did, by writing and telegraphing to the consul and in- 
 structing him to do it, — which the consul had already 
 done. The correspondence between the Legation and 
 the Consulate began to take ominous dimensions, and 
 the consul had to spread himself over many a sheet of 
 foolscap in the case. 
 
 The minister could not act oflScially any more than 
 the consul could ; his kind intentions of acting as a 
 mediator between the lady and her creditors were 
 somewhat impeded by the incoherency of the lady's 
 long epistles to him, in which she inveighed against her 
 husband's cruel relatives, and gave vivid pictures of 
 the hardships she had to bear, but she omitted giving 
 a statement of such facts and circumstances as would 
 have aided the minister in making an approach to a 
 friendly settlement. 
 
 All acts of persuasion would not soften the hearts of 
 the creditors, and it was only when a lawyer camo 
 over from America and proved to the court that no 
 part of the property of the parties in the United States 
 
 11* 
 
126 A SWEET SUBJECT, 
 
 could be made available for the payment of the debts, 
 that the prisoners were freed, — after their having been 
 nearly six weeks in detention. The creditors, although 
 they got no money, had the grim satisfaction of having 
 inflicted severe and humiliating punishment. The lady 
 and her husband, it is almost unnecessary to say, 
 glided away from Munich in the shortest possible time 
 to seek more hospitable lands. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A sweet subject — Sucking liquorice — Characteristics of the German — 
 Essay on liquorice-culture in Bamberg — Bothersome to ask questions 
 in Germany — Handshaking of German-Americans — Wanting to show 
 off their English — " Hats off in front" — American manners — Ameri- 
 can tailor, so called — Man in the office keeping his hat on — One 
 more case of the above — Professor of art school — How to manage an 
 art school — Royal State Library at Munich — Lending books and 
 manuscripts — Deaths of Americans — Suicides — Student making dia- 
 gram of his brain — Franklin Webster — To look after graves of Ameri- 
 cans — Curious affection of the mind in sorrow — ** Is that grave as deep 
 as usual ?" — Talking politics on leaving the cemetery. 
 
 Where is the boy, or girl, who has not revelled in 
 the delicious luxury of sucking liquorice, — of chewing 
 liquorice-root? Don't you remember, kind reader, the 
 ecstatic joy you experienced in getting hold of some 
 empty medicine-bottle, filling it with water and dissolv- 
 ing little chunks of liquorice in it, and then shaking it 
 up till the brown juice looked like foaming porter? 
 What a coveted treasure it was ! how proud was the 
 happy possessor of it ! Or, if not having such a bottle 
 5''0urself, what a boon it was, when, after much begging 
 and coaxing, or by the promise of so many marbles or 
 half-eaten apples in return, you were allowed to take 
 a suck from the bottle of some little comrade, he hold- 
 ing it to your mouth, clutching it with a firm grip, 
 never allowing the bottle to go out of his hands, and 
 tilting it back nervously for fear that too much of the 
 precious liquid might disappear! and how ambrosial it 
 
ESSAY ON LiqUORICE-CULTURE. 127 
 
 tasted, notwithstanding the bottle was pretty warm 
 from being long carried in the pocket ! 
 
 A colleague once wrote to me that he had heard 
 that liquorice was cultivated to some extent in the 
 neighborhood of Bamberg, Bavaria, and that he was 
 desirous of obtaining some statistical information in 
 regard thereto. He simply wanted to know the quan- 
 tity grown, its value, the mode of cultivation, and the 
 markets it was sold to. I wrote at once to the head 
 of the Agricultural Bureau of Upper Franconia, asking 
 for a short reply on the above points. 
 
 When a German starts out to do a thing he does it 
 thoroughly ; we all know the old story touching on 
 this characteristic. If a German were called on to 
 write an essay on a locomotive, for instance, he'd go all 
 the way back to the Garden of Eden, merely as a con- 
 venient resting-place from which to take a retrospec- 
 tive view of the history of the world, from the time 
 even before chaos was quite completed, and he'll prove 
 by mathematical calculations and logical deductions 
 that at that time there were no locomotives yet, — that 
 they must have come later, and he'll spread himself out 
 through folio after folio on their origin, and you'll won- 
 deringly learn that there are more things in heaven 
 and earth than you, in your philosophy, had dreamed of 
 
 The answer I got to my questions was astonishing 
 in its way, but not being entirely uninteresting, I will 
 give it in part here. 
 
 " The deductions of vegetable geography prove that 
 Glycyrrhiza echinata is cultivated in Eussia, Glycyr- 
 rhiza glabra in Spain, Glycyrrhiza glandnlifera in the 
 Caucasus, and Glycyrrhiza lepidota in Louisiana, in 
 the United States of North America. 
 
 '' It is beyond a doubt that the first plant, which was 
 the origin of the cultivation of liquorice which has been 
 carried on for centuries at Bamberg, came from Spain. 
 Relying on the tradition that the original plant was 
 first raised and nurtured in the cloister gardens of the 
 Benedictine monks of St. Michael's Mount, wo can 
 
128 ESSAY ON LiqUORICE-CULTURE. 
 
 assume that monks from some Spanish monastery- 
 brought it over to Bamberg, or that the inhabitants 
 of St. Michael's Mount came into possession of it at 
 the time the great highway of traffic passed through 
 Venice and Augsburg, for it was a great desideratum 
 with the inhabitants of St. Michael's Mount to plant 
 the fields around Bamberg not only with vegetables, 
 but also with such fruits of the earth as would form an 
 article of commerce. 
 
 "The sandy soil of the neighborhood was just suit- 
 able for liquorice; the roots could spread, and the plant 
 flourished, so that in a short time its cultivation was 
 BO extended that, as early as the sixteenth century, it 
 was sent from Bamberg to all parts of the world, ^even 
 in big two-horse wagons,* as a report of that period 
 states. In a manuscript preserved in the archives of 
 Bamberg, entitled ^De landibus Bambergse,' the author 
 quotes the Prince-Bishop of Eedwitz (1522) as saying 
 that the planting of liquorice began there in the fif- 
 teenth century, and that it was one of the most im- 
 portant of their products. 
 
 " This branch of industry, which has already taken 
 large dimensions, has always been pursued with great 
 gusto, and at the time when the institution of the 
 guilds was at its height, and the cultivators of the 
 liquorice were dignified by the name of * gardeners,' 
 and were classed as apprentice, journeyman, and master, 
 no one could be promoted to the latter grade without 
 having made his so-called ^masterpiece.' This master- 
 piece consisted in digging out a root of the liquorice 
 plant without in the least injuring it. As the main 
 or vertical root not only grows down into the earth 
 some six or eight feet, but the lateral roots extend 
 eight or ten, sometimes even twenty feet in all direc- 
 tions, parallel with the surface, it is no easy matter to 
 dig them out with a spade (the only instrument that was 
 allowed to be made use of) without cutting through or 
 even scathing the roots. It required great command 
 over the tool in doing this work. If any accident 
 happened in the process, the aspirant for mastership 
 was obliged to begin, at once, work on a fresh root. 
 
BOTHERSOME TO ASK QUESTIONS. 129 
 
 Three or four hours were allowed for bringing out the 
 root entire, and if, on account of the roots being longer 
 than usual, he did not fulfil his task in that time, he 
 was roundly chaffed by his companions. The digger 
 having cut down some two and a half or three feet, 
 and thrown out the earth around him to the same 
 height, stood in a pit nearly up to his head ; he could 
 not get out of this pit, or was not allowed to do so, 
 until his work was done. Of course the exercise gave 
 him a keen appetite, and his comrades reached him 
 some refreshment if he begged for it in the set form 
 of words and prescribed supplicatory manner. If the 
 roots happened to lie in a hard soil, he was allowed a 
 bucketful of water to soften the earth with. He had 
 the hardest time of it if the roots formed a knot or 
 ring, in which case he had to delve under them, and it 
 not unfrequently happened that the earth around him 
 caved in and almost buried him. This, of course, was 
 a sign for a great outburst of jollity on the part of the 
 spectators. All this is changed now. With the aboli-* 
 tion of the guilds system such performances are done 
 away with, and a gardener is no longer obliged to earn 
 bis mastership by such a hard trial." 
 
 I have given the foregoing in a very condensed form. 
 The paper goes on to describe what kind of soil is best 
 suited for liquorice, the time and manner of planting 
 and of propagating it, how long it takes before the plant 
 is ready for use, etc. The further contents of this 
 lengthy paper can have no interest for the reader. I 
 have merely given the foregoing to show what kind 
 of an answer the Teutonic mind often builds up to a 
 simple question. It is sometimes bothersome to be 
 inquisitive in Germany; not bothersome to the party 
 asked, — for he is always glad to show his erudition, — 
 but to the party asking, who throws himself open to 
 be attacked with such a long-winded reply. 
 
 It is a peculiarity of German-Americans that they 
 invariably (no matter what their station) want to 
 shake hands with me when they come and when 
 
130 AMERICAN MANNERS, 
 
 they go, — also that they always want to show off their 
 English. Native Americans do not shake hands as a 
 general thing when they merely come on a matter of 
 business. 
 
 " Hats off in front." 
 
 In regard to our manners we are a very vilified na- 
 tion. People in Europe who consider themselves the 
 cream of good breeding pretend that they cannot think 
 of a Yankee except with his hands in his pockets, his 
 feet high in air, and his hat tilted over on to his nose 
 as if it were glued there. 
 
 A little Mosaic tailor, whose English was about as 
 crooked as his nose, set himself up and announced him- 
 self on his sign and on his cards as an "American 
 Tailor," and in order to carry out the illusion, and to 
 make himself appear genuine, he was in the habit 
 when he entered any place, either public or private, of 
 keeping his hat firmly plastered on his head, with his 
 ^ hands dug into his trousers, and of whistling softly. 
 I sincerely hope some good shoemaker's work came 
 into close contact with his own broadcloth for it. 
 
 I can inform the world that, as far as politeness and 
 courteousness are concerned, we are on a par with any 
 other nation. Perhaps some of the outward forms may 
 be here and there lacking with us, but the kernel is 
 as sound — it may be sounder — as with many nations 
 who pay so much attention to externals. 
 
 In regard to this one particular, that of our alwa^^s 
 keeping the hat on in a room, or in another person's 
 house, I can testify that in my long experience I can 
 think of only two or three cases where Americans did 
 not uncover their heads in coming into the office, just 
 as spontaneously as any other gentleman would have 
 done. If foreigners had any cause to depreciate us in 
 this respect, it is a thing of the past. 
 
 I can call to mind only one full-blooded example of a 
 class which is, I hope, becoming extinct. The gentleman 
 in question was i'rom the heart of our country ; he ac- 
 companied a^couple of ladies who had business at the 
 consulate. The ladies did all the talking, and he, being 
 
PROFESSOR OF ART SCHOOL, 131 
 
 of a contemplative turn, tilted back his chair and did 
 not attempt to wear out his hat by any unnecessary 
 handling of it; he held communion with a quid of very 
 good tobacco, which he was silently enjoying, and he 
 honored my spit-box with attentions which it had 
 never received before. But this was the only case of 
 the kind. 
 
 No, there was one other ; he was a professor too, — a 
 professor in one of our art schools. His business 
 abroad was to look into the working of the art 
 academies of Europe. At his request I took him to the 
 Academy in Munich, where one of the professors, a 
 friend of mine, showed us all through the building, 
 through the class-rooms, through the painting and 
 sculpture rooms, through the librarj^ — in fact, all over. 
 
 My professor — I mean the Yankee one — got very 
 tired in this ramble, his numerous questions in the be- 
 ginning, which were answered through me, as inter- 
 preter, began to thin off, and at last he only opened his 
 mouth to yawn, which he did pretty frequently. When- 
 ever we came into a new room he sat himself down on 
 a stool, or anything he could find, and hugged his knee. 
 But the most aggravating part of his behavior was 
 that he never took off his hat, except now and then to 
 cool his head. I introduced him to several of the gen- 
 tlemen who were at work, but the hat didn't come off, 
 and I must say the Yankee professor did not make a 
 favorable impression on those he met. 
 
 After we left, he confessed to me that he didn't un- 
 derstand much about painting as yet, but that he was 
 going to learn. He asked me innumerable questions as 
 to my views in regard to the plan of instruction for an 
 art school. As he seemed really to place some con- 
 fidence in my judgment, I could not help telling him, 
 without any intention of being personal, that I thought 
 the best plan was to begin by teaching the professors. 
 
 The Eoyal and State Library at Munich was, some 
 twenty years ago, the second largest library in the 
 world ; I believe it now ranks third or fourth. It is 
 
132 DEATHS OF AMERICANS. 
 
 housed m a colossal building on the Ludwig Strasse, 
 erected by the architect Gaertner. The staircase, in 
 particular, is very imposing, and glows with gold and 
 bright colors. Our government has made several 
 valuable presents of books to this institution through 
 the medium of the consulate. 
 
 The institution is very liberal in the advantages it 
 offers to readers. Any one can call for books in the 
 reading-room. To take books from the library it is 
 necessary to have an introduction from some respect- 
 able and known citizen or public officer. Americans 
 who wish to take books home with them apply to the 
 consul for such an introduction. Even Americans re- 
 siding in other countries of Europe apply through the 
 consulate for books, which are cheerfully loaned them. 
 
 A gentleman in Philadelphia once made a request to 
 have — not books — but some old Spanish and Italian 
 manuscripts touching on the history of the Jesuits sent 
 to him. I hardly thought the Director would accede to 
 such a request, for a manuscript is something which, if 
 lost, cannot be replaced. He had no authority to lend 
 me the manuscripts, especially to go across the water, 
 but said that if the sanction of the Secretary of the In- 
 terior were obtained, there would be no objection made 
 on his part. As the works asked for were for the use 
 of a gentleman of high literary standing I wrote to the 
 minister, who courteously gave his permission. The 
 manuscripts, sealed up in a tin box, and fully insured, 
 were sent over. It was a relief to me, however, when, 
 after about half a year, they were safely returned. 
 
 The most painful and melancholy duties a consul is 
 called upon to perform are those which sometimes arise 
 on the death of an American in his district. It is not 
 the mere taking charge of the effects of the " deceased 
 citizens dying abroad who have no known heirs or 
 representatives" there that is trying, — all that is regu- 
 lated by consular instructions, — it is a matter of busi- 
 ness, — but the consul is generally expected to assist at 
 the interment. The friends or relatives of the deceased, 
 being strangers in the land, feel themselves naturally 
 
DEATHS OF AMERICANS. 133 
 
 drawn towards the consul as if he were the one who could 
 be most in sympathy with them. He sometimes has 
 to visit the dying, too. He is, in many cases, asked by 
 the family to attend to the embalming of the corpse 
 and to the sending of it home for interment.* 
 
 Death is a cheerless visitor at all times, but par- 
 ticularly so when he clutches his victims far away from 
 their home, — far away from those loving ones, — those 
 nearest of kin. And yet some even call on death be- 
 fore he is ready for them, — force him to them. It was 
 my sad duty to report no less than four suicides of 
 young Americans during my term of office. They were 
 all students, and were quite alone. There was nothing, 
 in either case, but some wearing apparel and a few 
 books, perhaps a trifling sum of money, to be taken 
 charge of. I had never known any of these unfortu- 
 nate men. Each had, for some time before his rash 
 act, completely withdrawn himself from the society of 
 his fellow-countrymen. 
 
 One of these cases seemed to me particularly horrible 
 on account of the deliberateness with which it must 
 have been done. It was that of a medical student 
 who had been at Munich only a few weeks. He was 
 stopping at a hotel, and he was found in his room, 
 sitting in an arm-chair, with a pistol lying on the table 
 beside him. It was a revolver, but only one barrel had 
 been loaded, the contents of which he had driven 
 through his brain. But on the table was also found 
 something that was even more wicked-looking than 
 the pistol itself. It was an anatomical diagram of the 
 skull. He had evidently studied out which was the 
 most fatal course for the ball to take, and had marked 
 the drawing with a black spot where the ball was to 
 enter, and had indicated the line of its passage. The 
 corpse showed that he had, in the coolest manner, 
 placed the pistol in exactly the same spot on his own 
 head, holding it in precisely the intended direction ; 
 death must have be'en instantaneous. 
 
 A score or so of Americans have their final resting- 
 
 * I unfortimiktelj had soveral such commissiun.i to exocute. 
 12 
 
134 THE GRAVES OF AMERICANS. 
 
 place in the cemeteries of Munich. Mr. Franklin 
 Webster, formerly United States Consul at Munich, is 
 also buried there. His successor, at the request of the 
 family, had a stone erected over the grave. 
 
 Touching letters sometimes came from those at home 
 earnestly entreating the consul to look after the grave, — 
 the grave of some loved one, — and to give them a de- 
 scription of its condition and its appearance. I thought 
 the best way of complying with such requests was to 
 send a little drawing of the grave. 
 
 Every one must have had occasion to notice — per- 
 haps experienced it themselves — how curiously the 
 mind of those who have just lost some one who was 
 very dear to them is often affected. For the first few 
 days the mind is in a kind of stupor: it will not con- 
 trol itself; it is sensible of a great calamity, of an over- 
 powering sorrow, and yet, how often does one catch 
 oneself at such times wandering off and thinking of 
 the most trivial things, or of making remarks which 
 might almost strike the hearer as being feelingless ! 
 The oppressive burden of grief, the gnawing longing of 
 the heart after him we have lost, — the stinging sense 
 of the void created in our breast, — come later, but most 
 surely, with crushing force. 
 
 A gentleman with his wife and a family of small 
 children came to Munich to spend some time. His wife 
 was a sickly woman, and taking a heavy cold which 
 was not attended to, it developed into a fever and she 
 died. The poor man was in despair. On the day of 
 the funeral a difficulty arose which made his sense of 
 loneliness and grief still more poignant. He had 
 omitted giving notice of his wife's death to the English 
 clergyman, and now, at the last moment, he found that 
 the clergyman had left town. He did not want to have 
 a German Protestant clergyman because he belonged to 
 a different sect, and besides, because he thought it not 
 right to have the service performed in a language which 
 was strange to him, — a language that his wife had not 
 understood. He hurried to the consulate just as I was 
 about going to the cemetery. He told me his dilemma 
 
THE CEMETERY AT MUNICH. I35 
 
 and begged me to read the funeral service. I did not 
 feel myself worthy of performing such an office, but he 
 urged me bo that I was obliged to consent. At the 
 cemetery, however, there was a young student who 
 had originally studied for the ministry j he took the 
 task off of my hands. 
 
 In walking into the cemetery with the gentleman, 
 before reaching the chapel (the corpse-house), we had 
 to pass the prepared grave. Here he stopped and 
 looked into it. Then he made some remarks, which 
 struck me as being very curious. He asked me if 
 that grave were about as deep as they generally make 
 them at home ; then he asked me if the soil were not a 
 very moist one, and then he asked me how long I 
 thought it would take a body to rot in such a soil. 
 
 I drew him away as gently as I could. A number 
 of Americans were assembled at the chapel. The 
 funeral procession started to the grave. The service 
 was performed in a most solemn and befitting manner. 
 I accompanied the gentleman back to his lodgings ; it 
 struck me again as curious that all the way back he 
 talked politics. 
 
 CHAPTEE X. 
 
 The cemetery at Munich — Making the acquaintance of the dead — How 
 the corpses are handled — King and bell attachment — Beautiful monu- 
 ments — The first monument — A ghost story — Sending a corpse home 
 — The right man in the right place — *^ Is Dr. Leberfleck more for the 
 kidneys ?" etc. 
 
 The cemetery at Munich has a great attraction for 
 strangers ; it is one of the sights of the city. 
 
 If one has not been successful in seeing any one of 
 the great men of Munich while living, one can always 
 make his acquaintance upon his death. To be sure, 
 you cannot hold much communication with him, for 
 there is a thick plate glass between you and him, but 
 then you can see him to the best advantage, for he is 
 lighted up with plenty of wax candles, and he keeps 
 
136 THE DEAD-HOUSE. 
 
 very quiet for you to look upon him. He is almost 
 smothered with flowers, and the face looks very leath- 
 ery by contrast with their brilliant colors. The glass 
 windows are somewhat greasy at the lower portion 
 from the people flattening their noses against them to 
 get a better view. 
 
 The corpses are kept for forty-eight hours in the 
 " dead-house" before interment. Each coffin is num- 
 bered, and outside, in the vestibule, a framed list gives 
 the name and age of each occupant. Great precau- 
 tionary measures are taken against the chance of bury- 
 ing any one who might possibly be only in a trance. 
 
 A corpse is not allowed to be kept more than twenty- 
 four hours in the house (quite a wise regulation in 
 cities where many families live under the same roof). 
 It is then taken to the " dead-house" at the cemetery. 
 When the coffin has been placed, a ring is slipped over 
 the middle finger of the corpse, having a connecting 
 wire to the ceiling, and from there carried over to an 
 adjoining apartment, where the wire is attached to a 
 bell having a number corresponding to that of the 
 coffin. The slightest movement of the body would 
 cause the bell to ring, and the attendants would be at 
 once notified. In such cases they have their special 
 instructions as to what is to be done. 
 
 In the large halls there is quite a net-work of wires 
 with the ends hanging down, and it rather unpleasantly 
 reminds one of a vast telegraph-office where a good 
 deal of business is being done. The quiet corpses lying 
 there side by side, with their fingers in the rings, make 
 a weird and mystic impression on one — those poor 
 human batteries, — charged with all the miseries of 
 earth, — with their wires connecting with eternity. If 
 those wires were indued with the power of trans- 
 mitting the expressions of the living soul within, what 
 tales would be theirs I 
 
 I often used to think how horrible it must be should 
 one of the bells suddenly begin ringing — suppose at 
 the dead of night, when the great graveyard is 
 deserted by all, save the thousands of ghosts that 
 haunt it, — the ghosts below ground, and those in the 
 
BEAUTIFUL MONUMENTS. 137 
 
 halls, silently awaiting their turn to be shovelled in, — 
 and the solitary living watcher in the charnel ante- 
 chamber. And yet such things not unfrequently hap- 
 pen. From the swelling of the bodies the hand some- 
 times slips down, and the bell rings. The watchman, 
 ' — hardened old chum of the dead, — like a sprightly 
 waiter, saunters in to see what is wanted; but he only 
 has to raise the icy, leaden hand to its place again, and 
 he returns to his room, hoping he may not be dis- 
 turbed again for the night. 
 
 This arrangement of the rings and the bells is made 
 probably more for the consolation of the public than 
 for its necessity : no case has occurred since its intro- 
 duction, some thirty years ago, of any of the occupants 
 of the dead-house coming to life again. 
 
 The little children alone lie there in groups by them- 
 selves, and have no wires attached to them. 
 
 In the southern cemetery the dead-house lies between 
 the old and the new parts, and is enck)sed in an arcade. 
 People who are not fond of gazing on the dead can 
 pass by without the sight being intruded upon them. 
 
 A visit to the southern cemetery is of great interest 
 on account of the number of beautiful monuments, 
 works of the highest art, which adorn it; many of 
 these are embellished with figures in marble and in 
 bronze, and with paintings in fresco on the walls of 
 the arcades. Before the present century the graves 
 were only designated by simple crosses of wood. Those 
 who wished to pay more marked respect to the mem- 
 ory of their dead, and whose means permitted it, set 
 up a larger cross of iron. Franz Schwanthaler, the 
 father of the famous Ludwig von Schwanthaler, about 
 the year 1790 ventured to put up the first monument, 
 — a female figure mourning over an urn, — but this in- 
 novation met with so much opposition on the part of 
 the public that the monument was, soon after its erec- 
 tion, destroyed at night. Schwanthaler the elder per- 
 severed in his efforts to introduce works of sculpture 
 as appropriate tributes to the memory of the dead, and 
 by degrees the people accustomed themselves to them. 
 At the present day there are few cemeteries which 
 
 12* 
 
138 A OHOST STORY, 
 
 possess such stately and beautiful monuments. All the 
 graves are covered with brilliant flowers, and are well 
 tended. 
 
 The older part of the great cemetery was consecrated 
 in 1577. In 1789 all the other cemeteries, those at- 
 tached to each church, were done away with, and the 
 remains of the corpses transferred to the cemetery. 
 In 1818 it was further extended, and enclosed within 
 a wall, the ground-plan being that of an Egyptian 
 mummy-case. In later years a new cemetery adjoin- 
 ing and connecting with the old one was built by Gaert- 
 ner. It is in the form of the Italian Campo Santo, and 
 carried out in mediaeval Lombard style, with vaulted 
 halls around the four sides. In the centre stands a 
 colossal crucifix in bronze, one of the best works of 
 Halbig. 
 
 A GHOST STORY. 
 
 It was an unusually wild winter. There was a great 
 deal of sickness, and many cases of fever. November 
 and December, with damp, quickly-melting snows and 
 slush and sleet, were succeeded by a January of in- 
 tense cold. 
 
 A young American from one of the Western States 
 had come to Munich to study, — I believe to study art, 
 although he was not at the Academy. I had known 
 him but slightly. He did not associate much with 
 other Americans; he was no beer-drinker, and he 
 seems to have lived a retired life, and spent his even- 
 ings at his rooms. Some distant relatives were with 
 him, and through them I learned that he had become 
 dangerously ill, and was lying at the hospital. He had 
 a severe fever, and had soon become delirious. He oc- 
 cupied a private room at the hospital, — was not in one 
 of the wards, and had the best medical attendance. 
 Every attention was paid to his comfort by the good 
 Charity Sisters who nursed him, but all in vain. He 
 lingered on for a long time, but his condition did not 
 improve. His family at homo had been written to, and 
 they were prepared for the worst, for it was evident 
 that the young man (who was not bf a strong or ro- 
 
A GHOST STORY. 139 
 
 bust constitution, and who had been ailing already 
 when he first came to Munich) was slowly dying. 
 
 I had not been quite well myself that winter. Al- 
 though not confined to my bed, still, I was glad enough, 
 after office hours were over, to lie down and get rest 
 and warmth and quiet; and in the mornings I re- 
 mained under the covers as long as possible, for my head 
 was heavy and my limbs felt creaky, as if the bones or 
 sockets had got rusty and wanted a good oiling. One 
 morning I had just got into a violent perspiration, 
 which, I was satisfied, was going to do me a world of 
 good ; which, I imagined, would set me up entirely. I 
 was lying as quiet as a mouse, not daring to twitch a 
 muscle for fear the least motion might interrupt the 
 electric fluid which I felt was whirling around me, 
 when suddenly the house-bell was jerked with a vio- 
 lence that put the wire to the severest test, and before 
 I had time to speculate as to who could possibly be the 
 author of that wild ring, I heard loud wailing and 
 moaning and excited cries in the entry. With that 
 instinctive feeling which one has on hearing such 
 turbulent voices (which even the intervention of two 
 walls only serves to muffle, but not to shut out), that 
 some dreadful accident has happened, I jumped up and 
 hurried on my clothes. But I had not proceeded far 
 before I learned what the matter was, for I heard a 
 piercing cry of, "Oh, Eobbie's dead, — Robbie's dead!" 
 
 The ladies (his relatives) had rushed to the consul. 
 They begged me to go at once to the hospital. They 
 did not seem to know themselves why I should go, or 
 what I should do there, but in their distress they felt 
 that that was the first thing to be done, and their en- 
 treaties were quite imperative, so that I was forced 
 along without getting even a chance to advert to my 
 own illness, or to the fact that my going to the hospital 
 could really have no object. It was one of those cases 
 in which a man is started by some mysterious power 
 on an errand which he knows has no meaning, and 
 which he is yet impelled to perform. I saw it would 
 give some comfort to the mourning relatives of the 
 dead boy, — so I went. 
 
140 A GHOST STORY, 
 
 It was one of those surly, cold, leaden days when all 
 nature seems to have come to a stop. There was no 
 wind moving, there was no snow falling, there were no 
 clouds flying overhead ; even the cold had nothing 
 active in it. It did not force itself against me, but it 
 seemed to be oozing into and filling all the pores of the 
 skin, soaking through to the muscles and the bones 
 with its own dull weight. The earth was enveloped in 
 a whitish-gray mist, — it seemed as if the world were 
 dissolving itself slowly into a state of purblindness, to 
 be followed gradually by absolute chaos. 
 
 A hospital is not at any time a cheerful place to 
 visit, but on such a day, and in my then depressed 
 state of spirits, the building appeared to me gloomy in 
 the extreme. 
 
 On stating my errand, after having passed through 
 its grim portal, I was directed up-stairs to No. 11. On 
 the head wall of the first landing was a life-sized cru- 
 cifix, one of those hideous pieces of wood-carving, 
 painted in the hues of death, with masses of clotted 
 blood issuing from hands and feet and breast and fore- 
 head. In that cold, biting air, in that bare, white cor- 
 ridor, lonely and deserted, this lank, naked form looked 
 like some horrible specimen from the dissecting-room, 
 hung up and spread out as a target for the blood- 
 reeking scalpels to slash into. 
 
 It served to prepare me for what was in the room 
 beyond. I opened the door and entered. The window 
 was open to let in the cold, foggy air; there was a 
 strong smell of vinegar in the small apartment, which 
 contained only a narrow bed, a chair, and a common 
 table. On the bed lay stretched the body of the young 
 man. I thought I had never seen a corpse so emaci- 
 ated ; it seemed as if everything had been sucked out 
 of his frame by the fever, leaving nothing but some 
 rags of skin to cover the bones with. As I looked 
 upon that poor ghost, so cruelly exposed to the piercing 
 air, so deserted, and lying unwatched, uncared for in 
 that dull, bare room, I could not help wondering what 
 his folks at home might be doing just at that moment, 
 not knowing that their son was dead (for they had not 
 
A GHOST STORY, 141 
 
 yet been telegraphed to), and I pictured to myself 
 their anguish when the bell rang to usher in to them 
 the dreadful news. 
 
 When I went down-stairs again I gave a few direc- 
 tions to an attendant whom I found there, which I 
 knew would be acceptable to the relatives of the de- 
 ceased, and left. 
 
 The same afternoon the corpse was taken to the 
 cemetery, to be laid out at the " dead-house" until the 
 day of the funeral. The young man belonged to a 
 Catholic family, and the funeral services were con- 
 ducted according to the rites of the Eoman Church. 
 The priests came out to the hospital (it was not the 
 city hospital, but a private one, somewhat out of the 
 built-up part of the town) with their banners and 
 censers and crucifix to take charge of the body and to 
 escort the hearse to the graveyard. As the coffin, now 
 placed upon the bier, stood in the bleak hall-way of the 
 building, the priests ranged themselves on either side 
 and muttered in hoarse, croaking tones the Latin 
 prayers for the dead. The priests themselves looked 
 as if mortification were beginning to set in on the ex- 
 posed parts of their bodies, so gaunt were they, and 
 so blue and pinched from the cold. It was quite a con- 
 solation to me to notice one of them diligently plying 
 his snuif-box while the service was being performed, for 
 the action had something reassuring in it, — it at least 
 suggested life and the requirements of the flesh. 
 
 On the third day was the interment. I tried to get 
 as many Americans as possible to attend, although, as 
 I said before, there were very few who had known the 
 deceased. 
 
 The weather had continued just the same as it had 
 been the day of the death. 
 
 At the cemetery gloom reigned supreme. In the 
 city there was still life and activity and sound strug- 
 gling through the fog and cold ; but hero, with the few 
 people moving slowly and silently about in front of the 
 glass windows of the arcade, and the rows of quiet, 
 stiff bodies within, each waiting for its turn to bo 
 shovelled into the earth, it was brought painfully to 
 
142 A GHOST STORY, 
 
 my mind that we on the outside of the " dead-house" 
 were only there on sufferance, soon to take our places, 
 too, on the sable tressels, and to fall into the ranks of 
 the "innumerable caravan that moves to that myste- 
 rious realm," — to that crushing sleep whose dreams 
 may be so frightful. 
 
 I approached the window and peered through it, and 
 there, among a score of others as ghastly as himself, 
 lay the American lad with the usual flowers grouped 
 around him, with the usual sickly-yellow light of the 
 wax candles shedding their weak rays on him. 
 
 The funeral was to take place at four o'clock, which 
 is about the latest hour for interments here, the less 
 pretentious ones taking place at half-past two or three. 
 
 One by one the victims for that day had been brought 
 out from the charnel-house, the coffin-lid closed upon 
 them, and then, standing for a few moments under the 
 arcades till all was ready, had been lifted on to the 
 threadbare shoulders of the rusty little bow-legged pall- 
 bearers — themselves looking like cinders and ashes — to 
 be totteringly borne by them to the open grave, there 
 to be packed away at last, out of sight. And each 
 time that dismal procession starts the bell of the chapel 
 jangles dolefully the parting salute. 
 
 Our turn was soon to come ; the dirty light of the 
 short winter day was growing dimmer. I spoke with 
 the disconsolate relatives of the poor boy. At such a 
 moment they felt themselves more strange and lone- 
 some than ever in a strange land. Their feelings, 
 worked up to an excited pitch of sensitiveness, were 
 jarred by witnessing the undemonstrative and busi- 
 ness-like way in which the funerals were conducted. 
 
 With us, the undertaker is an artist in his line. 
 There is so much elegance and exquisite subduing of 
 the harshness of bereavement manifested in all his 
 doings, that we are almost reconciled to the unceremo- 
 nious way in which death officially intrudes upon us. In 
 his quiet, gentlemanly way he tries to make it comfort- 
 able for all parties, — for his client in the coffin, and for 
 those who follow after, and who are later to find out 
 what expensive luxuries stylish funerals are. 
 
A GHOST STORY, I43 
 
 It was probably the contrast between the ways of 
 Munich and our waj-s that made the ladies view with 
 especial horror those snuify and dilapidated males with 
 their napless hats and shiny garments (which once were 
 sable), that take charge of the corpses as if they were 
 their own special property. The ladies had a small 
 golden cross and a wreath of flowers which they wished 
 to have laid on the breast of the deceased before the 
 coffin was closed, but did not want the hands of those 
 rough men to touch, to pollute them, and they asked 
 me as a favor to do it for them. I applied to the 
 proper officer for entrance, and was admitted into the 
 hall of the dead by a small door at the rear, which 
 was again closed after me. 
 
 It was my first appearance in such company; I was 
 a stranger, but I needed no introduction. There were 
 about twenty bodies lying out in state, not lying flat, 
 but tilted up at a convenient angle so that they could 
 be better viewed from without through the plate-glass 
 windows, — as if to show what a varied assortment of 
 stock goods death had on hand. Edging through the 
 rows of these quiet ladies and gentlemen, I was care- 
 ful not to brush against the plants which rise pyramid- 
 ically around each bier. It made me shudder to think 
 that if I accidentally upset one of those tall bushes 
 the noise might startle the sleepers and cause them to 
 turn uneasily, or even to raise the head. The idea of 
 carelessly knocking against one of the wires coming 
 down from the ceiling was still more horrible. What 
 — I thought — if one of those bells should commence 
 ringing of itself, — what if I should see some white 
 hand moving, — what if some of these poor ghosts were 
 to come to life again, — what if I were to see their 
 gasping struggles, — what if one were to clutch hold of 
 me in its efforts to fight for life again ? Perhaps it was 
 nervousness on my part ; perhaps it was the pungent 
 smell of burning wax in that close atmosphere or the 
 stifling odor of wilting flowers, or perhaps of some- 
 thing even worse, that made me feel weak and shaky. 
 At any rate, the situation was a novel one to me, to 
 say the least. 1 peribrmed my errand and deposited 
 
144 A GHOST STORY. 
 
 the flowers and the cross, — the one on the breast, the 
 other in the dead man's unoccupied hand. In enter- 
 ing, I ^had come in from behind, but turning now to 
 depart, I had all the faces turned towards me, and I 
 fancied that they had been watching me surreptitiously 
 through the narrow slit between the partially-closed 
 eyelids. 
 
 It was a relief to rae to get out again, to be among 
 the living. 
 
 The funeral service was performed, and, following the 
 example of the priest, as he spoke '' earth to earth, dust 
 to dust, ashes to ashes," each person approached the 
 open grave in turn and threw in his three little spade- 
 fuls of frozen earth and stones, which went rattling 
 down on the coffin-lid ; it was the last knock at the 
 door of that narrow house whose occupant is always at 
 home, yet will not open to us. 
 
 The mourning relatives and friends dispersed. It 
 was now quite dark. I felt dejected, but, on going into 
 the city again, the reviving influence of the brightly 
 lighted coffee-house, the perusal of the newspapers, and 
 the meeting with acquaintances served to dispel for a 
 time the gloomy recollections of the scenes I had just 
 passed through. But at night they came back again 
 with redoubled force, and falling, at last, into an un- 
 easy slumber, it was hard to tell where waking thought 
 ended and dreaming commenced, for the same subject 
 ran through both. 
 
 After midnight, I suppose it was between two and 
 three o'clock, there was a violent ring at the outside 
 street door. The servants slept at the back part of the 
 house, and not wanting to disturb them, I quickly put 
 on my wrapper and looked out of the front window, 
 but could see no one at the door. I called down, but 
 there was no answer. I began to think it was some 
 delusion, and was about returning to bed when the bell 
 rang a second time. It was possible that the person 
 had taken refuge within the deep door-jamb and that I 
 could not be heard calling from the window, for the 
 night had become stormy, and the wind moaned through 
 the streets and set everything that was loose to rattling. 
 
A GHOST STORY. 145 
 
 I seized the lamp and went down-stairs, and into the 
 broad carriage entrance which all the Munich houses 
 have, and calling, before opening the door, as one 
 generally does at that hour of the night, and alone 
 (not that one's afraid, you know), "Who's there?" a 
 trembling voice answered, " It's I. Where's Eobbie?" 
 
 I am quick at forming conclusions. It at once went 
 through my brain that at the beginning of the young 
 man's illness his family had been written to stating how 
 critical his case was, — that some one had at once started 
 off to come to him, — that he had just arrived, too late 
 by three days, and that, not having the address of the 
 young man's relatives in Munich, he had naturally come 
 at once to the consul, not knowing yet of the death that 
 had taken place. It might be the father or a brother. 
 
 I opened the door cautiously, but a sudden gust of 
 the storm forced it wide. I had set down the lamp on 
 the bottom step leading from the entrance-way, and it 
 now shed its glare on — oh, God I I reeled back against 
 the wall ; no being of living blood was before me, but 
 gaunt and stark and livid stood that dead man, — no 
 wreath on his breast, no cross in his hand, but escaped 
 from his coffin nevertheless. I gazed on him in terror, 
 and the same terror seemed to be reflected in his coun- 
 tenance. I could not speak, I could not move, for I 
 felt that at the least attempt to move the ghost would 
 follow me. The wind had blown the door shut again, 
 or I would have rushed into the street ; but now I was 
 barred in with that dread presence opposite me, and 
 with no means of escaping from it. I could not help 
 noticing, however, that for the first few moments the 
 spirit seemed as ill at ease as I was myself. 
 
 It gasped out, "Where's Bobbie?" 
 
 I answered, " He is dead ; we buried him this after- 
 noon, and you know it." 
 
 "Oh I no, no," it said in a hollow voice, "do not toll 
 me that!" 
 
 "Bobbie is dead," I repeated ; " we buried him this 
 afternoon." 
 
 " Give mo your hand," it said ; " conduct me to his 
 grave." 
 
 ^ 18 
 
146 A GHOST STORY, 
 
 I shuddered. The idea of making a midnight excur- 
 sion to such a place, and in such company, was enough 
 to make the cold shoot along my spine as if icicles were 
 trickling down from my collar. 
 
 " You do not know who I am," said th« apparition. 
 " I have forgotten to introduce myself." 
 
 I tremblingly replied, " If my senses do not deceive 
 me you are Eobbie yourself; but how you came here 
 I cannot understand, — my brain is reeling, — I am not 
 quite well, sir." 
 
 The ghost only groaned, '' Oh, poor Eobbie, poor 
 Eobbie! Oh, how will his mother stand this!" 
 
 The tones of his voice now began to sound more 
 human to me, for I was gradually collecting myself, 
 and my fear was not as great as in the beginning. 
 The spectre, if such it was, grew more corporeal in 
 appearance, and I by degrees noticed that it wore 
 different clothes from those in which the corpse had 
 been dressed. Getting the better of myself, I at last 
 ventured to ask the stranger who he was. 
 
 He said, "I am Eobbie's brother, — his twin brother; 
 I started from America on first hearing the news that 
 Eobbie was so ill, and now I have arrived to find I 
 am too late after all. Oh, how will our mother stand 
 this!" 
 
 The mystery was cleared ; the brother, who, I could 
 now perceive, resembled Eobbie, the dead boy, as closely 
 as one egg resembles another, haggard from anxiety 
 and long, uninterrupted travel, night and day, pre- 
 sented such a picture of those poor remains of mortality 
 that only a few hours before we had sunk into the 
 earth, that I mistook the living for the dead. But I 
 had received a great shock. When (after assuring my 
 visitor that I would call on hjm the first thing in the 
 morning, and having directed him to a hotel close by) 
 I again reached my bed, I found myself in a feverish 
 state, my temples throbbing, and with a dull, thudding 
 pain down my shoulders, and with such a feeling of 
 weakness that I could scarcely lift my head. 
 
 I was afraid it was the beginning of a dangerous 
 illness. 
 
THE RIGHT MAN IN THE RIGHT PLACE. 147 
 
 I trust my readers will forgive me for misleading 
 them by giving such a grim title to this narrative of 
 one of my experiences. The circumstances relating to 
 the illness, the death and burial of the young Amer- 
 ican, are written as they actually occurred, without 
 any attempt at embellishment; in fact, it is but the 
 simple recital of my connection with a case, of which, 
 unfortunately, there were several similar ones during 
 my stay in Munich. The particulars given, up to the 
 quitting of the graveyard after the burial, are of re- 
 alities, — the rest was but a troubled dream, induced no 
 doubt by the mind lingering on the subject that had 
 engrossed it through the day, and by my not being 
 well at the time. But the dream seemed to dovetail 
 in so naturally as a sequel to the day's experience, that 
 I have been tempted to write it down too. 
 
 On one occasion, having attended to the sending of 
 the remains of a deceased American to his home, I re- 
 ceived a letter of thanks from the father. It was very 
 hearty in tone, written with simple earnestness, though 
 somewhat ungrammatically ; but it did me good to 
 have it. It concluded : " You place me under many 
 obligations for your great kindness to the departed. 
 Such acts of kindness to one in a strange land go to 
 show that the American Government do sometimes put 
 the right man in the right place." 
 
 I felt very much flattered by the above compliment, 
 but it was not long before I was considerably taken 
 down in my own estimation. 
 
 A consul, of course, by reason of his supposed knowl- 
 edge of the worth of all things which affect his consular 
 district, should be a nice discriminater ; he should bo 
 able to go into specialities — it is expected of him, — but 
 when a rather scrawny female comes to him to consult 
 him as to the merits of a certain doctor to whom she 
 has been recommended, and puts the question, '* Well, 
 now, consul, is Doctor Lebcrflock more for the kidneys 
 or for the spleen ?" he is rather taken aback. 
 
 I must say I felt very much iishiimod of myself for 
 
148 ^07^ KNOWING WHO PEOPLE ARE. 
 
 not being able to give the desired information, and I 
 had uncomfortable doubts that day as to whether I 
 really was the right man for the office. 
 
 CHAPTEE XI. 
 
 Not knowing who people are — The lady and the bum-bailiff — Royal 
 bronze foundry ; business there — Information sought on art matters — 
 Casts of ^gina marbles — Stained-glass windows — Iron railing for 
 church — Measuring picture-frames — Request for photographs of build- 
 ings — Request for photographs of Kaulbach's drawings — Exact copy 
 of photograph on porcelain — Pictures of old masters for sale — Requests 
 for postage-stamps — Our newspapers instruct the people — ** Lick, 
 brothers, lick, oh, lick with care" — Franco-German war — Terrified lady 
 and the flag — Letters : is it safe to be in Munich — Forlorn situation of 
 group of ladies — Treatment of French prisoners — Return of troops j 
 banquet — Trial of two Irish ladies for insulting a corporal. 
 
 I HAVE always had a bungling way of not knowing 
 at the right moment who and what people are whom 
 I have already met, — but only casuallj^ met, — that is, as 
 the saying goes, I do not know where to place them. 
 I feel that I know them, but cannot call to mind where, 
 when, and under what circumstances I have seen them. 
 It is not so much the name that bothers me, — that 
 would soon occur to me if I only could recollect what 
 the person is. In such perplexing predicaments I have 
 to run through my mental speculations in a certain 
 order: I think, first, is it somebody I have bought 
 something of, going over in my mind all the businesses 
 I am accustomed to dealing with ; is it somebody in 
 the shop where -I buy my books, my stationer}^, 
 my groceries, clothing, fancy-goods? Is it perhaps my 
 bookbinder, carpenter, locksmith, plumber ? Is it some- 
 body that is in the habit of bringing things to my 
 house, — is it perhaps some person in some public office 
 with whom I have had to do ? Is it perhaps some one 
 whom I have by chance scraped acquaintance with or 
 have been introduced to at some cati^ ? Or is it, even, 
 some person whom I have never known, but who has 
 
THE LADY AND THE BUM-BAILIFF, 149 
 
 only been pointed out to me as such and such a one ? 
 Have I seen him in company, or alone ? Were the cir- 
 cumstances under which I came in contact with him 
 pleasant or otherwise ? When all these combinations 
 fail me, I have to leave to chance the unravelling of my 
 mental entanglement. I know that in the course of 
 conversation some allusion to something or other will 
 all at once solve the difficulty ; but in the mean time I 
 am quite absent-minded whilst talking, for it is con- 
 stantly going through my brain, " Who the mischief 
 can this person be ?" and I can't get down to the proper 
 tide and flow of conversation till that point is settled. 
 Sometimes the party (if he or she is anyways smart), 
 noticing my blank looks, comes at once to the rescue, 
 saying, " Perhaps you remember me, I am so and so." 
 
 That this awkward failing of mine often leads to 
 embarrassing situations may be readily imagined. With 
 persons who by virtue of their prominence in official, 
 or social, or business stations I ought to recognize at 
 once, I am often as distant as the moon, but then I 
 make up for that by sometimes treating with the 
 greatest cordiality and consideration a party who even- 
 tually emerges out of the cloudiness of my speculations 
 as the man who used to blacken my boots last year, or 
 the man who helped to move my furniture, or the man 
 who once bored me to buy some bad cigars of him. 
 
 There was a lady, the wife of an American physician 
 in , whom I had known personally some years be- 
 fore (both are dead now, alas !), came to me in a state 
 of great nervousness and perturbation for my advice 
 and assistance. Her story was as follows. But don't 
 think, my dear reader, that I got the grip of it as easily 
 as you will do, for I had to hear it mostly hind part 
 first, and even this backward course was so impeded in 
 its flow by stumbling over ejaculations, parenthetical 
 sentences, sobs and sighs, and " fii'stlies" and " lastlies,'* 
 that to me it was pretty much like guessing at some 
 complicated charade. Disentangled and straightened 
 out, the simple story was this : 
 
 A day or two before, the lady had hired a cab for 
 the purpose of taking a drive, and had hired it by the 
 
150 THE LADY AND THE BUM-BAILIFF. 
 
 hour, starting from her hotel. After seeing the sights, 
 and wishing to go to the opera, as it was now drawing 
 on towards evening, she told the driver to take her to 
 the Royal Theatre, where she jun\ped out eager to 
 secure her ticket (for it was already late), forgetting 
 both her parasol, which she left lying in the carriage, 
 and — to pay the driver. The next morning early the 
 driver came to the hotel, bringing back the parasol, and 
 demanding pay from the time the lady had taken him 
 in the afternoon till midnight. 
 
 The poor lady, for her evening's entertainment, had 
 picked out one of Wagner's longest operas, which was 
 not over till long after eleven o'clock. 
 
 The cabman's case was as follows : the lady not pay- 
 ing him when she entered the theatre, and leaving her 
 parasol in the cab, he supposed he was to wait for 
 her until the end of the opera, — which he did. He 
 waited till the last party had left the house ; he waited 
 till all the lamps were put out, but no call was made 
 for his number. He now looked at his watch, and 
 added the time it would have taken to drive the lady 
 back to the hotel if she had put in an appearance, and 
 took his horses home to their stable. 
 
 Being a man of gallantry, he could not disturb the 
 lady at that late hour of the night by asking for his 
 pay, but the next morning he drives to the hotel to 
 present his bill, adding again to it the time he loses 
 thereby. The lady refused to pay the bill, which 
 amounted to a pretty large figure (much larger than 
 was pleasant to her), saying that she had simply for- 
 gotten to pay on leaving the vehicle, and that she 
 would onl}^ settle the fare up to that time. 
 
 Jehu, who considered his claim perfectly legitimate, 
 stuck to it, and, having to do with a stranger, who 
 might be off at any moment, quickly drove to the police 
 court, had his little claim put on paper, properly 
 stamped, and then took it to the nearest sheriff's officer 
 (Gerichtsvollzieher) for collection. As he did all this 
 on wheels, of course the amount of his bill kept swelling 
 proportionally, — gathering as it went, like a snow-ball 
 rolled through the snow. 
 
THE LADY AND THE BUM-BAILIFF. 151 
 
 When the man of the law appeared at the hotel with 
 the bill she again refused to pay, which refusal was 
 promptly noted down by the officer, and so the lady 
 received a summons the next day to appear at the local 
 police court. She took no notice of the summons, but 
 she was not a little surprised and terrified when, a short 
 time after, the sheriffs officer again came, armed with 
 the original bill of the driver, and embellished with a 
 rider of several more florins for costs, and told her that 
 he must have the money at once or he would attach 
 her trunks for payment. In her distress the lady 
 rushed over to the consulate, telling the officer he must 
 at least wait till she had spoken to the consul. 
 
 Such, in substance, was the lady's story, got at by 
 degrees, partly through her own recital and partly 
 through after-developments. People were coming in 
 with invoices all the time, and her story was often 
 interrupted. She was quite bathed in tears, and she 
 was just telling in violent terms what a ruffian the 
 sheriff's officer was and how brusquely and peremptorily 
 be had demanded her money or her — trunks, w^hen a 
 knock came at the door, and a gentleman entered. 
 
 The gentleman's face was not quite strange to me, 
 and it seemed to me that I had met him somewhere 
 before. I did not know just where to place him, but a 
 certain twinkle in his eye made me, stupidlj" enough, 
 think that I had met him in jolly company — perhaps 
 at some club ; at any rate, as he advanced towards me 
 I met him half-way, grasped" him warmly by the hand, 
 smiled, and asked him to take a seat awhile, and to ex- 
 cuse me for a few moments. At the same time I 
 begged the lady, who had suddenly risen from her 
 chair, to accompany me to the adjoining room, which 
 was more private. The lady, however, stood quite 
 transfixed, in a violent tremble of excitement, — first 
 viewing the stranger with disdain and rejnignance, and 
 giving me a searching look which made my very hair 
 freeze; but she was unable to utter a word. The man 
 slowly produced a roll of foolscap paper and a pen which 
 he carried in a little case in his pocket. Here was a 
 pretty mess I had made. The tall, bhind man in hia 
 
152 THE LADY AND THE BUM-BAILIFF, 
 
 gray suit and spectacles was the sheriff's officer himself, 
 — the Gerichtsvollzieher. I had on a former occasion 
 had some business with him, and therefore knew that 
 I knew him, but on his entrance I had unfortunately 
 connected him in my mind with some quite different 
 occasion. 
 
 One can imagine the consul's situation : a lady comes 
 to her official representative to seek redress for injuries 
 received at the hands of a low German bum-bailiff, and 
 he (the consul) gives a cordial welcome to the fellow 
 who had dogged her steps from the hotel to the con- 
 sulate, so as not to lose sight of her. 
 
 What could I do ? I couldn't take back that friendly 
 grip, — I couldn't take back the smile that had spon- 
 taneously lighted my countenance with my greeting of 
 the stranger. 
 
 I humbly apologized to the lady and offered my 
 explanations, trying to convince her of the peculiar 
 alienation of my powers of recognition with regard to 
 individuals not intimately concatenated with my affec- 
 tions. But neither big words nor plain words had 
 any soothing effect ; the lady kept looking at me in a 
 petrified manner, as if she were inwardly saying, " It's 
 too thin ; please don't exert yourself" 
 
 There was no apology to make to the man, of 
 course ; on the contrary, I tried to wipe out my former 
 cordiality by giving him the blackest kind of a scowl, 
 and asking him how he dared come into the consulate 
 in that manner without announcing himself, and thus 
 making me mistake him for some one else. The words 
 I gave that man ought to have somewhat reconciled 
 the lady, but the mischief of it was, that all this had to 
 be said in German, and the lady did not understand 
 much of that language, so I was still laboring under a 
 disadvantage, and was still the object of her distrust. 
 
 The man was now about to speak, but mj^ fair client 
 energetically thrust him aside, and said, without taking 
 much notice of me, " First I am going to speak, — I'm 
 an American, — here, at the consulate, we're in Amer- 
 ica." She then poured forth a very robust strain of 
 general matter, not altogether complimentary, and as 
 
THE LADY AND THE BUM-BAILIFF. 153 
 
 all this was done in English I was eased in knowing 
 that the man did not understand what she said. 
 
 When I was at last able to get a gentle word of 
 inquiry into the subject, the lady explained that she 
 did not go to the police court, firstly, because she did 
 not know what the paper that had been brought to her 
 meant ; that even if she had gone, she would not have 
 been able to understand the judge, nor any one else ; 
 and, secondly, because she had determined not to do 
 anything in the matter without first seeing the consul 
 (and she knew that yesterday it was already after 
 office hours); and, thirdly, because she was convinced 
 the whole thing was a swindle, and she wouldn't be 
 imposed on. 
 
 The man, on his side, showed me a duly executed 
 order of the court to collect the demand of the cab- 
 driver with the costs added, which now alone amounted 
 to more than the original demand. My visitor was in 
 a state of trembling fury, and eyed me like a lynx to 
 see whose part I was going to take. I could not help 
 expressing my opinion that in the case before mc I 
 was afraid that not much could be done, and that any 
 further refusal on the lady's part might only cause her 
 further annoyance. At that, — giving me a look of 
 scorn that was enough to wither up the whole con- 
 sulate, and even to make the unoffending eagle wilt, — 
 she jerked a bank-note out of her purse, threw it on 
 the table, and vanished through the door. The amount 
 of the note was greater than the man's claim. I rushed 
 out and called after her to take the change, but she 
 gave no heed, — and was gone. The officer was paid, 
 and he vanished too, leaving a receipt for the money. 
 
 My dreams that night were of a troubled kind. It 
 seemed to me that I was in the presence of my great- 
 grandmother, and of a wolf who was preparing to oat 
 her up. Instead of trying to defend helpless innocence, 
 as I should have done, I found myself shaking hands 
 with the wolf, who, in punishment for m}^ want of gal- 
 lantry, suddenly turned round and fell on me instead 
 of my grandmother. 
 
154 THE ROYAL BRONZE FOUNDRY. 
 
 I don't know whether I felt more relieved or abashed 
 next morning, on receiving a few hurried lines from 
 the lady begging me to overlook her apparent hasty 
 manner in leaving the consulate, but, she said, she was 
 ill and nervous, and not being accustomed to such pro- 
 ceedings as had been taken against her by a detestable 
 cabman, she had lost control of her faculties of just 
 perception. She asked me to give the remaining money 
 to the " first case of charity that came along." 
 
 The poor gained a trifle by this transaction, and I 
 gained something too, — it was a lesson to me, always 
 to find out first whether a presumed acquaintance was 
 a sheriff's officer or not before I extend my hand to 
 him in friendly greeting. 
 
 The Eoyal Bronze Foundry at Munich has done a 
 great deal of work for America. I need only allude to 
 the door of the Capitol at Washington, the equestrian 
 colossal statue of Washington at Eichmond, and the 
 Probasco fountain at Cincinnati ; there are a score of 
 others. These works, with the exception of the last 
 named, are by American artists, mostly by those living 
 in Eome and Florence. 
 
 1 often had business at the foundry: it was some- 
 times at the request of the artist to report to him how 
 his work was getting on ; it was sometimes on the 
 part of the founder, to give a certificate that certain 
 works were finished ; it was sometimes in behalf of 
 some art association at home, to negotiate for the cast- 
 ing of some group of statuary for our parks. Some- 
 times applications were made through the medium of 
 the consul to get permission to have copies made of 
 statuary in State or royal possession in various cities 
 of Germany. 
 
 The foundry is well worth a visit. In the museum 
 connected with it are the plaster models of all tho 
 works that have been cast there. Americans will be 
 surprised to see what a number of these works are in 
 our possession. 
 
 It will readily be supposed that a consul living in 
 Munich is frequently called upon to furnish informa- 
 
INFORMATION SOUGHT ON ART MATTERS. 155 
 
 tion on matters connected with art, — as to the facilities 
 for studying them, as to the requirements for entering 
 the Academy, as to whether there are classes for ladies 
 there, as to what the chances are of being taken into 
 the studies of certain artists as pupils, as to wliether 
 strangers are allowed to copy in the galleries and so 
 forth. He is often asked for his counsel by intending 
 students as to the proper steps to be taken by them for 
 accomplishing their object, and he is often requested to 
 give them letters of introduction to leading painters 
 and sculptors. 
 
 On the part of one of our colleges the consul was 
 written to to negotiate for the purchase and trans- 
 portation of casts of the ^gina marbles (the figures 
 from the pediments of the temple of Minerva on the 
 island of ^gina, discovered in 1811, and which are at 
 present among the most valuable of the classic marbles 
 in the Glyptothek). Then, again, he is asked by church 
 committees to send designs and estimates of cost of 
 stained-glass windows (for the production of which 
 Munich is famed). Anon he is taken in tow by a rev- 
 erend gentleman to visit the workshops of artistic 
 blacksmiths to see what they are able to do and to get 
 their prices for making a Gothic church railing. But 
 there is always something to be learned in such expe- 
 ditions; one gets an insight into many things that 
 were strange to one before. I am fond of knocking 
 around workshops and factories; I like to see how 
 things are made. Sometimes the consul is asked to 
 perform much humbler services, as, for instance, to take 
 the measures of certain gold frames that have been or- 
 dered for pictures, to see that they are all right, and no 
 mistakes made in the sizes. Innumerable were the re- 
 quests to send photographs of the public buildings, the 
 public men of Munich, of paintings and statuary in the 
 galleries. One party (it was very shocking) even pre- 
 sumed to ask the consul to buy for him certain of 
 Kaulbach's drawings (extravagancies of his earlier 
 years), well known to all artists, but which it would 
 never do to expose to public view. 
 
 Speaking of the photographs reminds me of a tick- 
 
156 ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHS. 
 
 lish case I once had. A gentleman wanted to have a 
 photograph made on porcelain, and wrote to me to give 
 him the name of the best person to do it, and his price. 
 I made the inquiries and sent him the address. In a 
 few days he wrote again, thanking me, and saying, 
 "Enclosed is a photograph on paper. I want an exact 
 copy of it. If you think it can be done, please give the 
 order to have it done at once. But, if you think it can 
 not be done, please save yourself the trouble and me the 
 expense ; and what to me is of more consequence than 
 the latter, the necessity of keeping and looking at an 
 unsatisfactory result, as I am now doing, for I have had 
 a portrait done on porcelain by the best artist here with 
 this result, although he tried to copy this identical pho- 
 tograph." 
 
 Now, could I take it upon myself to hold the balance 
 of that man's huppiness or unhappiness in my hand ? 
 Suppose that picture were not to turn out perfect, as 
 most likely it would not, my conscience would never 
 be easy when the situation of that unfortunate gentle- 
 man, at being under the *' necessity of keeping and 
 looking at an unsatisfactory result," presented itself to 
 my mind. He expected too much of me ; he wanted 
 me to judge beforehand whether a photograph on 
 porcelain was going to turn out all right, and I was to 
 decide for him whether to order it or not, and if the 
 picture did not come up to his expectations, then the 
 blame was to be laid at my door. I returned him his 
 photograph on paper, and told him that I was always 
 happy to be of service to my countrymen abroad 
 whenever it was in my power, etc., but could not 
 help adding (this is sarkassum, as Artemus Ward would 
 have said), "however flattered I may feel by the confi- 
 dence you repose in my judgment, I must beg leave 
 to decline the honor of accepting the responsibility of 
 ordering the picture for you, as I cannot possibly know 
 what your criterion of an exact copy and a satisfactory 
 result may be." 
 
 It is astonishing what a number of genuine pictures 
 of old masters (no mistake about them) are lying 
 
BEQUESTS FOR POSTAGE-STAMPS. 157 
 
 around loose. I would never have supposed it had not 
 several parties in Munich come to the consulate offer- 
 ing them for sale. Some of these people thought that 
 most likely there were lots of rich Americans that 
 would like to become the possessors of such simon- 
 pure bits of canvas ; some had heard — even read it in 
 the papers, though they could never produce the 
 papers — that a national art gallery was to be established 
 at Washington, and that the consul was empowered to 
 buy for it. 
 
 But the humblest of wants in the artistic line are for 
 complete galleries of portraits of our great men ; in 
 other words, for postage-stamps. Similar requests, in 
 great numbers, come from people at home for foreign 
 stamps.^ It appears the mania lor collecting these used- 
 up bits of paper has not yet died out. 
 
 Anent postage-stamps, yet a few words. 
 
 Our newspapers tend to educate our people in many 
 ways. One of the peculiar institutions of all our papers 
 are the so-called paragraphs, — sometimes drawn up in 
 regular columns, but oftencr scattered throughout the 
 body of the paper, and stuck in between the most im- 
 portant political items or the most serious articles. I 
 believe these are more universally read than many of 
 the heavier parts. They are generally clothed in a 
 humorous form, but are always concise, terse, and to 
 the point. They catch the eye and can be read at a 
 glance. They are often arranged pyramidicall}^ de- 
 creasing in length from the bottom upwards, so that 
 the top sentence sometimes only consists of three or 
 four pithy words, but full of meaning ; perhaps it is 
 only a joke or a pun. I do not hesitate to admit that 
 I never let the funny parts of a paper escape me. 
 I take them all down, even if I only skim over the 
 more serious news. But these paragraphs often con- 
 tain useful and practical hints, and, because they are 
 eagerly copied from paper to paper, and fly like winged 
 words throughout the length and breadth of our hind, 
 they become popuhir in the counting house of the mer- 
 chant, in the luxurious parlors of the rich, in the houses 
 
 14 
 
158 NEWSPAPERS INSTRUCT THE PEOPLE, 
 
 of the poor, in the school-rooms and factories, and in 
 the log cabins of the remotest settlers. 
 
 I beg to refer only to one instance to better explain 
 this theory. 
 
 Post-office clerks, in cancelling the stamps on lettere 
 and newspapers by printing the date and the title of 
 their office upon them, work with amazing celerity, 
 shoving one letter after another forward with the left 
 hand while plying the stamp with the right. This goes 
 almost as quick as thought, provided the stamps are 
 put on the proper place, — that is, on the right-hand top 
 corner of the envelope ; but let a stamp be to the left, 
 or at the bottom of the letter, the clerk is immediately 
 put out of swing ; it is like a sudden break in some 
 swiftly-moving machine ; it is like a stumbling-block 
 put in the way of a racer going over a smooth course ; 
 I believe post-office clerks sometimes forget their Sun- 
 day-school training at such moments. 
 
 In my long experience as a receiver of letters from 
 all sorts of people, I may remark that I have had 
 scarcely more than two or three letters coming from 
 America, even from quite illiterate and ordinary per- 
 sons, where the stamp was not in the right place, 
 whereas letters coming from Germany and other coun- 
 tries almost as often as not have the stamp down in 
 the corner or to the left, or sometimes even on the back 
 of the letter. One party, evidently fond of symmetry, 
 on a letter which required four stamps, put one on 
 each corner of the envelope. It had a pretty effect, 
 but I am afraid the stamping clerk said at least four 
 times " donnerwetter" over it. 
 
 Now, w^hy is it that our people as a rule know where 
 the stamp must be placed ? Is it not in a great measure 
 owing to the promulgation of those lines which, a few 
 years ago, went the rounds of all our newspapers, and 
 were so affectionately and fraternally addressed to the 
 whole mass of our people ? — 
 
 " Lick, brothers, lick, oh, lick with care 
 A one-cent stamp for a circulare, 
 A two-cent stamp for a newspapare, 
 And a three-cent stamp for a sealed lettare. 
 
FRANCO-GERMAN WAR, 159 
 
 Stuck on the right-hand top cornare, 
 Not scattered all over everywhere. 
 Unless you want the postmastare 
 To get in a rage and curse and swear. 
 Then lick, brothers, lick, oh, lick with care, 
 And stick on the right-hand top cornare.** 
 
 Now, if Herr Stephan, the great Imperial Postmaster 
 of Germany, to whom are due so many improvements 
 in the postal system and whose genius is recognized 
 by all nations, would pay a liberal sum to a Teutonic 
 poet to translate the above classical effusion into equally 
 classic German, and would induce the Imperial police 
 to extend the freedom of the press to allow the article 
 to be printed in every paper in the realm, he would be 
 adding one more laurel to those he has already so justly 
 won. 
 
 War is at all times terrible, and no matter how 
 distant its scene of action may be, we all know into 
 what a state of consternation all non-combatants are 
 thrown when war approaches the borders of their 
 country. Even foreigners temporarily sojourning in 
 the land are none the less perturbed, because they are 
 not certain whether, in the havoc made by contending 
 armies, the rights of neutrals will always be respected. 
 
 It was just after the war broke out between France 
 and Germany that a lady came to me in a state of great 
 trepidation, wanting to know if it were true that the 
 French were coming to Munich. I told her that the 
 French had promised to go to Berlin, and, being a very 
 polite nation, no doubt they would keep their engage- 
 ment. They had not yet definitely stated on what day 
 they were coming to Munich, but the Bavarian govern- 
 ment was certainly making every necessary arrangement 
 for their reception. The works of art in the galleries 
 and in the museum and in the other collections, and the 
 jewels in the palace, were being hastily packed away 
 and hidden in places of safety, probably that there 
 might be more room in these public buildings for the 
 entertaining of the great numbers of Turkos and Spa- 
 his and other French gentlemen who might be ex- 
 pected at any moment. 
 
160 FORLORN GROUP OF LADIES, 
 
 I am sorry to say that the lady trembled even more 
 violently than at first, and I had really only intended 
 to soothe her. 
 
 At last she burst out with, "Well, if the French do 
 come, and butcher and burn all before them, they are, 
 at least, bound to respect the American consulate. I 
 shall rush up here and wrap myself in the American 
 flag, and shall sleep on the staircase in front of your 
 door." 
 
 1 promised her, in such an emergenc}'', the use of a 
 flag, and she went away somewhat calmed. 
 
 Many were the letters from parties abroad inquiring 
 whether it would be safe or " pleasant" to be in Munich 
 during the war. Some had heard that the city was 
 full of wounded and sick soldiers, and that disease was 
 spreading alarmingly among the population. One per- 
 son wrote, saying, war having been " declared between 
 France and Prussia would bring Bavaria into the 
 theatre of the war," and concluded, " I would be very 
 much obliged for your opinion whether it is safe for us 
 to come, and in how far you could protect Americans 
 in case of a French invasion." 
 
 But fancy the forlorn situation of a group of unfor- 
 tunates, one of whose number writes: "Excuse my 
 troubling you, but I never was in such a helpless place : 
 we are some ten families here, English and American, 
 without a man among them; we get no newspapers but 
 the local ones, that know nothing but rumors that keep 
 us in continual anxiety, so that it is really a charity to 
 give one correct information." 
 
 Many were the inquiries, too, as to the treatment 
 of certain French prisoners in Munich. An afl'ecting 
 letter came from a poor woman at Lyons, begging me 
 to find out if her son were perhaps a prisoner of war at 
 Munich, — she had not heard from him for four months. 
 I was unable to give the disheartened mother comfort- 
 ing news ; her son was not to be found in Munich. 
 
 On a bright, sunny day in July, 1871, the Bavarian 
 troops, which had so distinguished themselves in the 
 war for their bravery, returned to the capital, the 
 streets of which were magnificently decorated, and 
 
INSULTING A CORPORAL. 161 
 
 many persons who had seen the streets of Berlin 
 when the Prussian troops entered that city, confessed 
 that Munich, in artistic arrangement, quite outdid the 
 capital of the Empire. The foreign representatives at 
 Munich received cards for places on the diplomatic 
 stand in front of the Odeon, where the king, on a su- 
 perh horse, with his staff, awaited the coming of the 
 Crown Prince of Germany at the head of the troops. 
 In the evening there was a grand banquet in the im- 
 mense enclosure of the crystal palace, where some 
 three thousand guests were seated. The Crown 
 Prince attended, but the King of Bavaria, of course, 
 was not there : he had gone off by extra train to one 
 of his castles in the country. He had not, personally, 
 taken any part in the war ; he did not want, personally, 
 to take any part in the festivities. 
 
 The great drama of war was not without its after- 
 piece. 
 
 There were a couple of ladies sojourning at the time 
 in Munich. They were not Americans, but Irish 
 ladies, with whom I was personally acquainted. They 
 were zealous Catholics, and their sj^mpathies were en- 
 tirely with the French. One of these ladies had been 
 in the habit of visiting the French prisoners at the 
 military hospital, and in addition to her words of 
 comfort, and the cheering influence of her presence, 
 brought further joy to the hearts of the captive war- 
 riors in the form of tobacco and cigars, wine, jam, and 
 sausages. Perhaps her conversation with the prisoners 
 was such as flavored too strongly of invective against 
 the German cause ; at any rate, after she had been con- 
 tinuing her visits for several weeks, she was much as- 
 tonished one day, when she went there with her cus- 
 tomary little basket of material comforts in her hand, 
 at the Bavarian corporal on guard telling her that he 
 had orders from his colonel not to admit her any more. 
 She tried to push her way past him nevertheless, when 
 the corporal quickly barred the door to the room with 
 his musket. Seeing herself thus cut off from entrance, 
 she turned her moral forces against the unlucky cor- 
 
162 INSULTING A CORPORAL. 
 
 poral, and told him in Germanic phrase but with Mile- 
 sian ardor that he had no business to intercept her 
 passage, and that if she only had money enough to fee 
 him well, she knew he would let her in. 
 
 The corporal's honor was assailed at its weakest 
 point, and he brought a charge against her in court for 
 defamation of character. 
 
 On receiving the summons to appear, the lady with 
 her friend came to me and begged me, as a great favor, 
 to accompany them to court, as they felt very nervous 
 about going there alone. I went, — unofficially, of 
 course. The judge, finding the ladies did not speak 
 German fluently enough to express themselves, and 
 that they did not understand the language sufficiently 
 to follow the proceedings, readily granted that I might 
 translate for the ladies instead of employing a sworn 
 interpreter. I had to regret this afterwards, for in the 
 course of the hearing the lady, in her Irish brogue, got 
 off such a storm of abuse against the corporal and 
 against the court in general that was quite dismaying. 
 I could only give the judge the substance of her re- 
 marks, and was glad to be able to say that the lady 
 had spoken so rapidly that it was impossible for me to 
 follow her, and that some of her expressions were quite 
 untranslatable. 
 
 The corporal proved bis case quite clearly. The 
 lady had actively opposed his authority; had loaded 
 him with derogations, and openly accused him of ve- 
 nality which the restricted limits of her purse alone 
 prevented from being carried into action. 
 
 The lady was mulcted for ten florins and the costs. 
 Her rage when we left the court was unbounded. 
 
HOMESICKNESS. 163 
 
 CHAPTEE XII. 
 
 Homesickness — Good square breakfast — Consul not allowed to marry 
 parties — Lunatic setting his room on fire — Once an Englishman always 
 an Englishman — Our common law based on English law — Right of 
 expatriation — Few Americans become subjects of other countries — For- 
 eigners received as American citizens — Naturalized citizens returning 
 to their native country — Our naturalization treaties — Bancroft's merits 
 — Treaty with England — Bancroft censured by Department of State — 
 The Bavarian protocol — Mild rule in practice — Bavaria holds firmly 
 to treaty — Minister must decide a man's nationality — Talk of with- 
 drawing from the treaty — Germans the most cosmopolitan of people — 
 No chance of getting a better treaty — Chief flaw in our treaty — Bavaria 
 made a mess of it — A returned Bavarian neither one thing nor the 
 other — Case of such a man dying — Naturalized citizens to enjoy the 
 same rights as native citizens — Circular from the Legation — Natural- 
 ized German having no passport nor citizenship paper not to make 
 application. 
 
 Homesickness is one of the most distressing of com- 
 plaints. How often have I had occasion to judge of 
 its effects ! There are some travellers that have such 
 an uncontrollable longing to be back home again that 
 nothing can cheer them, no new sights divert them, no 
 strange lands interest them. They droop like wilted 
 plants; they can draw no succor from the foreign soil 
 on which their foot rests. Homesickness has been 
 sung by all our best and most feeling poets, and in the 
 Bible it is beautifully and tenderly alluded to. 
 
 I once received a letter in which the writer said, " I 
 believe I have arrived at that era in my foreign life 
 that the sight of a friend's face would be the most ac- 
 ceptable thing in the world ; yes, I think I would be 
 glad to see even a dog from homey 
 
 A gentleman from Philadelphia was less canine in his 
 partiality, but more material. He stopped in with a 
 friend. They were both despondent and heartily tired 
 of travelling. They were joking each other about 
 being homesick and wanting to get back to their eity 
 of brotherly love as soon as possible. One of thoiii 
 said that it wasn't so much homesickness that ailed 
 
164 LUNATIC SETTING HIS ROOM ON FIRE. 
 
 him as it was that he wanted to have a good, square 
 breakfast once again. 
 
 Why is it that so many people have the fixed im- 
 pression that a consul is empowered to perform the 
 marriage service ? I would not refer to this matter if 
 the question had been put to me once or twice only, 
 but it came from so many sides and was asked by so 
 many diflPerent parties, and by intelligent parties, too, 
 that it appears to me to be an almost universal belief 
 that this act is one of the consul's most cherished pre- 
 rogatives. Thank God, we are spared the responsi- 
 bility of undertaking such a solemn office. In Chris- 
 tian countries a consul has no authority to celebrate 
 marriage either between foreigners or between his own 
 countrymen, and "that American consuls have no such 
 power is clear, because it is not given to them by any 
 act of Congress, nor by the common law of marriage 
 as understood in the several States. And marriage in 
 the United States is not a federal question, but one of 
 the resort of the individual States." Thus says the 
 Consular Manual, ed. 1856. 
 
 A waiter from the Hotel came in one day. I 
 
 did not know that he was a waiter at first, and was 
 somewhat surprised at noticing that he wore under his 
 overcoat a black suit, with dress coat (somewhat shiny 
 to be sure) ; he was much excited. He told me hur- 
 riedly that there was an American stopping at his 
 hotel who had become suddenly crazy in the night, 
 had set fire to his room, and was now in a raving state, 
 — what should they do? 
 
 The curing of lunatics being outside of the consular 
 jurisdiction, I told him I supposed the best thing would 
 be to get a ph^'sician at once, and gave him the address 
 of one English-speaking doctor, and further, that they 
 should report the case to the police, so that the young 
 man could be taken to the hospital. I promised to go 
 round in the afternoon to see the patient. 
 
 The proprietor of the hotel was at the police-office 
 when I arrived, but he soon returned, and then showed 
 
LUNATIC SETTING HIS ROOM ON FIRE, 165 
 
 me the room where the young man had lodged. It 
 appears the portier had been wakened up in the night 
 by being nearly suffocated by a dense smoke in the 
 corridors ; he found his way up to the door from which 
 the smoke issued, and went in (the door not being 
 locked). A candle was dimly burning, and he discovered 
 the American lying asleep on the sofa. He at once 
 dragged him out into the corridor in an almost sense- 
 less condition, wakened up the waiters and the boots, 
 by whom the fire was soon extinguished. The window- 
 curtains and shade were burnt down, the table, part 
 of the wood-work of the window, and the carpet were 
 burnt. It is supposed the young man, in a stupor, had 
 laid himself on the sofa, and the wind from the open 
 window had blown the curtain into the flame of the 
 candle and thus caused the fire. The American, how- 
 ever, on regaining wakefulness, had become raving 
 crazy, so that it required the strength of all the 
 servants to get him down-stairs into a room where he 
 would not disturb the other guests. Fortunately, the 
 fire had been so soon discovered and so quickly ex- 
 tinguished that the guests, of whom there were very 
 few at that season of the year, were not alarmed. 
 
 In the mean while (when the proprietor was showing 
 me the scene of the accident) the young man was in 
 one of the private rooms, where he had at last become 
 quiet, but he was in no condition to be questioned. 
 He was a tall, slightly-built man, and was evidently 
 well dressed, though from the general derangement of 
 his clothes, his blackened hands and face and dishevelled 
 hair, he presented a wild and forbidding appearance. 
 He wore a small silk travelling-cap, which he kept con- 
 tinually pressing down on his head. We could not get 
 him to speak a word, but had no great difficulty in 
 getting him into a carriage to take him to the sanitary 
 police bureau to have him examined by the police physi- 
 cian in order to get him a permit for the hospital. The 
 ride roused him a little, and on one occasion he made an 
 attempt to jump out of the carriage, but was pulled back 
 again. On driving into the court-yard of the police 
 building he seemed to have some indistinct misgiving. 
 
166 LUNATIC SETTING HIS ROOM ON FIRE. 
 
 He looked distractedly around and then refused to go 
 in, — he showed fight, — but the doctor coming out, he 
 was soon quieted. Once in the room, he sank down into 
 an arm-chair and immediately fell into a deep sleep. 
 The physician pronounced his casedelirium tremens, and 
 gave us an order for the hospital and instructed one of 
 his assistants to accompany us. 
 
 As we drove to the hospital the young fellow wakened 
 up, and then became very talkative. He spoke in a 
 rambling way about art and about what he had seen in 
 Italy, and had a good deal to say about Correggio and 
 Carlo Dolci. 
 
 After seeing that he had every comfort in his room, we 
 left him. 
 
 The next day I went to visit him, but was told that he 
 had gone out walking. The superintendent of the hos- 
 pital said the young man was all right again, but that he 
 preferred staying at the hospital for a few days until he 
 was perfectly well. 
 
 A week or so afterwards the young man called at the 
 consulate to make his apologies, as he said. He was 
 neatly dressed, but his clothes had an old-fashioned, 
 country-store look about them, and hung loosely on his 
 tall figure. He wore a high, standing collar, like a meat- 
 chopper. He hadn't much recollection of what took 
 place when he set his room on fire, nor of his ride to the 
 hospital nor of anything else. He was of a very nervous 
 temperament. He confessed that he had been drinking 
 pretty hard on his way from Vienna to Munich, prin- 
 cipally brandy ; that when he got to Munich, he drank a 
 good deal of wine and beer at the hotel. He did not 
 know how in the world he could have become so crazy. 
 Yet in the course of further conversation it came out 
 that he had once or twice had such spells at home. He 
 was an intelligent, well-read man, and had a kindly ex- 
 pression in his clear gray eyes, and I felt sorry for him. 
 
 The landlord's bill for damages was not exorbitant, 
 and it was at once paid. 
 
RIGHT OF EXPATRIATION, 167 
 
 ONCE AN ENGLISHMAN ALWAYS AN ENG- 
 LISHMAN. 
 
 We all know with what tenacity the mother-country 
 has always held to the above doctrine. Other na- 
 tions, though not in just the same formulated expres- 
 sion, have, in spirit, contended for the same principle. 
 
 In modern history there is no other example of a 
 people which has so completely torn itself from the 
 parent stem in all that relates to the theory and prac- 
 tice of government, as did the thirteen united colonies 
 which so decisively and defiantly set themselves up as 
 a new corporation in a new world. 
 
 Although the common law of England remained in 
 great part our common law, and many of our statutes 
 were based upon the English statutes, yet in political 
 matters we take entirely different views from those of 
 England. Especially in the matter of expatriation, our 
 laws are explicit, and opposed to those of England and 
 most other states. The preamble to the act of July 
 27, 1868, says, " The right of expatriation is a natural 
 and inherent right of all peoples, indispensable to the 
 enjoyment of the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit 
 of happiness;" and its conclusion says, "Any declara- 
 tion, instruction, opinion, order, or decision of any 
 officer of the United States which denies, restricts, im- 
 pairs, or questions the right of expatriation, is declared 
 inconsistent with the fundamental principles of the re- 
 public.'^ 
 
 We uphold the principle just the reverse of that con- 
 tained in the heading of this article. It seems to us 
 that one might, with the same philosophy, as well as- 
 sert that — once a tadpole always a tadpole. But why 
 shouldn't the tadpole have a right to become a frog if 
 he wants to ? Why shouldn't he be allowed to re- 
 nounce all allegiance to his wriggly Cauda, east it off, 
 and become a free, unhampered, jumping citizen of a 
 new state? 
 
 Some things in this world are one-sided, — we, of 
 course, are not so. Wo find it perfectly natural that 
 the oppressed citizen of the eftete monarchies of the 
 
168 AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP. 
 
 old world should come to our glorious land of liberty, 
 should clutch our standard, and, enfolded in the safety 
 with which it invests them, should snarl defiance at 
 their former tyrannical rulers ; but I think we would 
 find it very funny, to say the least, if any of our citi- 
 zens were to go to a foreign country, and there 
 throwing off the sheen of the ^^star-spangled," etc., 
 were voluntarily to take upon themselves the yoke of 
 the oppressor, and turn their backs on the fair land of 
 freedom that gave them birth. But that is just where 
 we have the advantage ; such things don't happen, or 
 at least, such cases are so isolated that they are not 
 worth taking into consideration. We have thus been 
 liberal in the forming of our naturalization laws : they 
 bring fish to our net. They were made early in the 
 history of our existence,* at a time when we wanted 
 population, and though they have been modified from 
 time to time, they have not been changed in spirit 
 nor in their essential bearings. It is a fundamental 
 principle of these laws that every foreigner, after 
 having fulfilled certain conditions (which arc simple 
 and very eas}^ to fulfil), can become an American citi- 
 zen, and, after having been naturalized, can have no 
 political aflfinities with or obligations towards the land 
 of his birth. We open our arms to every one who, 
 with a fair reputation, comes to our shores, and we 
 soon make him one of us : and in the main we have no 
 reason to regret our hospitality. The great majority 
 of our recruited citizens fully assimilate themselves 
 
 * " In the colonies, even during the restrictions on naturalization in 
 England, there were always greater or less facilities accorded. Before 
 our Rerolution, all foreign Protestants and Jews, upon their residing 
 seven years in the American colonies, were naturalized as if born in the 
 United Kingdom, with the exception of holding offices; and that even 
 more liberal enactments were not made was, in the declaration of Ameri- 
 can Independence, assigned as one of the grounds of separation. It is 
 stated there as a subject of complaint against the King of Great Britain, 
 that he has endeavored to prevent the population of these States ; for 
 that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; re- 
 fusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising 
 the conditions of new appropriations of lands." — Wheaton, " Elements 
 of International Law,'* Appendix No, 1. 
 
FOREIGNERS AS UNITED STATES CITIZENS. 169 
 
 with us, both socially and politically, leaving but a 
 very small number who, with less honest motives in 
 taking upon themselves our nationality, use this ac- 
 quired privilege to escape attacks which their former 
 country has reason to make against them, — or as a 
 shield to cover them in making attacks against that 
 country itself. With whatever feelings of opprobrium 
 we may look upon such beings, our laws still consider 
 them as good as ourselves. 
 
 But, while we make naturalization easy for every 
 foreigner, the requirement of our law is in one respect 
 more exacting than that of the principal countries of 
 Europe, for we not only demand an oath of allegiance 
 to our country, but also an abjuration of all other states 
 and of all princes, and especially of the one of which 
 the applicant was a citizen or subject. We do not 
 trouble ourselves with the question as to whether the 
 applicant has a right to tear himself from all authority 
 of the power to which he owed allegiance or not, — 
 that is his business, — but, by making him a citizen on 
 our soil, we have him, and possession is nine-tenths of 
 the law. He is at once invested with every right and 
 privilege of the native-born citizen, with the one single 
 exception (so jealously guarded by the second article 
 of our Constitution) of not having the magnificent 
 chance of some day becoming President. 
 
 It is evident that so long as our naturalized citi- 
 zens remain within our boundaries there can be no 
 question as to their nationality, and no disputing their 
 political status on the part of foreign nations. But let 
 one of these naturalized Americans return to the land 
 of his birth either for a short visit or for any other pur- 
 pose, and then the trouble commences ; the question 
 of nationality then becomes a very vexed one. Some 
 countries, like England, although they admit foreigners 
 to the rights of their own subjects, do not allow of the 
 expatriation of their native subjects ; other countries 
 do not permit a subject to renounce his allegiance 
 without the special sanction of the crown thereto. 
 
 Naturally, when the non-molestation of such returned 
 emigrants was not secured by special treaty they 
 H 16 
 
170 OUR NATURALIZATION TREATIES, 
 
 generally had a hard time of it on once more putting 
 their foot on their native shore. The correspondence 
 of our diplomatic officers, found in the volumes of the 
 " United Stafes Foreign Kelations," contains accounts 
 of hundreds of cases where such persons were at once 
 arrested, subjected to heavy fines and penalties, im- 
 prisoned, made to serve in the army, and prohibited 
 from again leaving the country. In reply to their 
 protestations that they were American citizens, the re- 
 spective foreign governments said, ^' It is all very well 
 as long as you are over there, but when you come back 
 you are still one of us." Our government was power- 
 less to protect such persons. We couldn't be going to 
 war every day. 
 
 We have, within the last twenty years, made natural- 
 ization treaties, based upon reciprocity of action, with 
 nearly all the countries of Europe and with Mexico 
 and Ecuador, and having for their primary object the 
 better protection and more liberal treatment of natur- 
 alized citizens on their returning to the land of their 
 birth. These treaties are in the main satisfactory. 
 They have a higher interest for us than for the several 
 nation^ with which they were concluded, for the reason 
 already hinted at, — that but few native Americans be- 
 come citizens of foreign countries, whereas hundreds 
 of thousands of foreigners come annually to our shores 
 to remain, and to merge manners, customs, politics, 
 language, in ours. 
 
 The first of these treaties (concluded February 22, 
 1868) was with the North German Union. Our then 
 minister at Berlin, George Bancroft, in writing to the 
 Department of State says, *' I hold it of good augury 
 that the treaty between the United States and North 
 Germany respecting the effect of naturalization has 
 been signed on Washington's birthday." The second 
 treaty was made with Bavaria, May 26, 1868, and then, 
 in succession, with Baden, Wiirtemberg, and Hesse- 
 Darmstadt; all concluded in the same year. During 
 the same period similar treaties were made with Mexico 
 and Belgium. 
 
 It is only possible for those who are intimately ac- 
 
BANCROFTS MERITS, J 71 
 
 qiiainted with the political creed, and with the modus 
 operandi of the police and military courts of Germany, 
 and especially of Prussia, to fully appreciate the re- 
 sults which Mr. Bancroft brought about. It must be 
 remembered that Germany, like England, had never 
 admitted the right of expatriation of its subjects, and 
 when the former country did acknowledge the natu- 
 ralization of a German in a foreign country, it was 
 merely by a concession made in each particular case, 
 and not in accordance with an established principle. 
 Our minister, in paving the way to these treaties, had 
 to strike at the very root of old prejudices which had 
 been flourishing ever since feudal times. Bancroft was 
 greatly esteemed at Berlin, and at all the other German 
 courts.* However high his attainments as a diplomat, 
 his attainments as a scholar were placed higher still 
 by the Germans. He spoke German well, and was 
 conversant with the literature, history, and politics of 
 Germany ; he was able to talk in their own language 
 with all the men who could be of use to him ; he could 
 chat with them intimately and unreservedly on social 
 occasions, — and in diplomacy, it is just in such informal 
 meetings that a point is often gaifted which would be 
 greatly jeopardized or entirely lost in the official 
 wrangling on matters of concession between the repre- 
 sentatives of different powers. It is a great question 
 whether any other man, no matter how great his qual- 
 ities as a sharp politician might be, would have suc- 
 ceeded in making such treaties with Germany if his 
 linguistic capabilities were confined to his expressing 
 himself in his native Yankee. Mr. Bancroft was not 
 advancing a new theory of his own in regard to the 
 rights of expatriation, but he knew how to win over to 
 our view of it such iron men as Bismarck and others 
 of the same metal. 
 
 But the negotiations of our minister with the Prus- 
 sian government had still wider bearings than with 
 
 * TJcfore the foundation of the German Empire we had a Minipter 
 Plenipotentiary accredited to the North German Union, but ho was our 
 diplomatic representative to all the other German states as well. 
 
172 BANCROFT CENSURED. 
 
 that government alone, for at the time the preliminary 
 discussions were taking place feelers were put out to 
 ascertain the view England and other nations would 
 take in regard to the intended treaty, and they brought 
 the news that England would at last be inclined to 
 give up its long-cherished theory of " once an English- 
 man always an Englishman" as far as we were con- 
 cerned in the matter. In his letter of July 23, 1868, to 
 Mr. Seward, Bancroft says, " Count Bismarck informs 
 me that the British government has inquired of him as 
 to the answer the Prussian government would make to 
 the American government on the subject of naturaliza- 
 tion. In reply he informed them of the intention of 
 this government to come to an understanding with 
 that of America, according to its request. The re- 
 marks of Count Bismarck implied that the British gov- 
 ernment is inclined to follow the example of the Prus- 
 sian, and that the settlement of the question here will 
 be virtually a settlement for Great Britain.'* Future 
 events proved the correctness of this information, for 
 two years afterwards (May 13, 1870) we concluded a 
 similar naturalization treaty with England. The trea- 
 ties with the several German states coincide nearly, 
 though not entirely, with each other in their terms. 
 Mr. Bancroft, despite his good efforts, received some 
 very sharp words from the Department for not making 
 them all exactly alike; but the Department had never 
 been in Germany. It did not seem to know that in 
 the then ununited states of Germany, each with its 
 "particularistic" interests and petty jealousies, the 
 very fact of one state having gone into such a treaty 
 was sufficient reason for another state not doing the 
 same. Therefore the more credit is due to the result 
 obtained. 
 
 The Bavarian government, for instance, strenuously 
 upheld the view that the release of the emigrant from 
 future claims to his performance of military service 
 should date only from the moment of his naturaliza- 
 tion, and not from the moment of his emigration. 
 Prussia had declared that the emigrant was released 
 from all future obligations to his native country from 
 
THE BAVARIAN PROTOCOL. 173 
 
 the moment of his leaving it with the intent to become 
 naturalized in the United States. But Bavaria suc- 
 cumbed at last on this point, and then went a step 
 further in our favor, by adding an official protocol to 
 the treaty explaining each article, and thus making it 
 the most complete and liberal treaty of them all. 
 
 In the third article of that protocol, which was 
 signed on the same day as the treaty itself, it says, '^ The 
 regulation contained in the second clause of the tenth 
 article of the Bavarian military law of January 30, 
 1868, according to which Bavarians emigrating from 
 Bavaria before the fulfilment of their military duty 
 cannot be admitted to a permanent residence in the 
 land till they shall have become thirty-two years old, 
 is not aifected by the treaty. But yet it is established 
 and agreed that by the expression ^ permanent resi- 
 dence* used in the said article the above described emi- 
 grants are not forbidden to undertake a journey to 
 Bavaria for a less period of time and for definite pur- 
 poses, and the royal Bavarian government, moreover, 
 cheerfully declares itself ready in all cases in which 
 emigration has plainly taken place in good faith, to 
 allow a mild rule in pi-actice to be adopted." 
 
 It may not be evident to every one what is meant 
 by " allowing a mild rule in practice to be adopted." 
 
 Before the making of the treaty, if a naturalized 
 German returned to his native country, being still 
 liable to perform military duty, he was at once seized 
 upon, fined or imprisoned for the offence of unallowed 
 emigration, and then impressed into the army. No 
 excuse that he could give was valid, no representations 
 on his part were accepted. Now, he can at least re- 
 main unmolested for two years, and even before his 
 having fully acquired his new nationality on our 
 shores he can visit Bavaria for certain purposes with- 
 out fear, for the second article of the protocol explains: 
 "the words * resided uninterruptedly' are obviously to 
 be understood, not of a continual bodily presence, but 
 in a legal sense, and therefore a transient absence, a 
 journey, or the like, by no means interrupts the period 
 of five years contemplated by the first article." 
 
 15* 
 
174 DECIDING NATIONALITY. 
 
 My own experience has convinced me that Bavaria 
 has faithfully held to the promise given in the protocol. 
 As a general thing the royal government is always 
 ready to regard every naturalized Bavarian that re- 
 turns as an American citizen, and it does not take 
 active steps to ferret out those who are liable to per- 
 form military duty. When such persons are charged 
 by the government, the knowledge of their delinquency 
 is generally traceable to private jealousy on the part 
 of some friend of the returned emigrant who plays the 
 informer. When such a case is brought to the notice 
 of the government, of course it has to follow the dic- 
 tates of the military law, but even then ample time is 
 given the offender to leave the country if he so chooses, 
 and every opportunity is given him that he may apply 
 for mediation from his diplomatic representative. 
 Even in cases where naturalized Bavarians had been 
 living in Bavaria for fifteen — twenty years, and were 
 established in business there, the royal government 
 tacitly considered them American citizens ; whilst I 
 had my just doubts whether the parties really deserved 
 that distinction. 
 
 I, at least, made it a rule that whenever a natural- 
 ized Bavarian not in possession of a passport not over 
 two years old, or whom I knew to have been living 
 over two years in Bavaria, came for any service in 
 which it was necessary for him to legitimate himself as 
 an American citizen, to refer him first to the Ameri- 
 can minister to decide his nationality for him. In 
 this practice I was supported by the approval of the 
 Department of State. 
 
 The treaties with Germany were made for the period 
 of ten years from their date, with the privilege, at the 
 expiration of that time, of either party giving one 
 yearns notice of their discontinuance. During the last 
 few years there has been talk on our side of with- 
 drawing, and of making new and better treaties, but I 
 am convinced that such a step would be disastrous for 
 us. I do not think, in a new treaty, Germany would be 
 disposed to adhere to its present terms. We would be 
 the losers by it. The emigration from Germany to the 
 
GERMANrS COSMOPOLITAN PEOPLE. 175 
 
 United States is ever on the increase, and even now 
 the Empire is anxiously considering the question of 
 establishing colonies in order to have outlets for those 
 subjects who wish to leave their native land, and yet 
 to have them within bounds and under the control of 
 the military laws. The German emigrant (and especi- 
 ally he who goes to the United States) is lost forever 
 to his fatherland ; he becomes naturalized as soon as it 
 is possible to do so, and he assimilates himself in his 
 social and political views with those among whom he 
 has taken up his home. I should say that the Ger- 
 mans are the most cosmopolitan of peoples. The Eng- 
 lishman, no matter in what part of the world he lives, 
 carries his customs, his strongly-rooted views, his per- 
 sonal peculiarities, — even the usages of his table and 
 his toilet, — with him. The French do the same (in 
 a lesser degree, perhaps), also, but the German who 
 comes to us at once accustoms himself to live as we 
 do. In his political principles the German becomes as 
 thoroughly American as ourselves; nay, even more so, 
 — in this respect he outherods Herod, for, hear him, 
 on his return to his former home, holding forth to his 
 relatives and quondam companions, whom he looks 
 down upon with affectionate commiseration, upon the 
 greatness, the magnificence, the power, and the purity 
 of the country which he now helps to support. Ho 
 will tell them all that they are poor slaves, whilst he, 
 in his new position, is the equal of the kings and 
 princes of backward Europe. His children, born on 
 our soil, are Americans, wholly and incontrovertibl3\ 
 
 Being industrious and steady people, the Germans 
 who come to us generally succeed in business, or 
 at all events they do better with us than they did at 
 home, hence the great mass of them never return to 
 their native country to live, but on their visits there 
 generally induce friends and relatives to follow their 
 example, and from these causes the steadily-rolling tide 
 of emigration to our shores begins to make Germany 
 tremble at the continuous loss of future soldiers. 
 
 It is not likely that Germany, that conceded so much 
 (according to its own ideas) in 18G8, would allow itself 
 
176 TREATIES. 
 
 to be cajoled into making still easier terms for the emi- 
 gratinor of its subjects now. On the contrary, the Ger- 
 man diplomatists would probably say, " We made a 
 quite liberal treaty with you nearly twenty years ago, 
 — we granted you what we had granted no other na- 
 tion, — we put aside certain deep-rooted principles of 
 our policy to accommodate you, but, nevertheless, we 
 have stood to our agreement, and have made no show 
 of withdrawing from it. If you are not satisfied with 
 the treaty, it is your lookout if a new one is not as ad- 
 vantageous to you as the present one.'* 
 
 As good as our several treaties with the German 
 states are, they are still full of holes ; but that is not 
 a characteristic of these treaties alone; others have 
 them too. The chief flaw in them is, that the estab- 
 lishment of the nationality of a naturalized German re- 
 turned to Germany is of a negative character only, for 
 in all the treaties it says, "If a German (Bavarian, 
 etc.) renews his residence in ^orth Germany (Bavaria, 
 etc.), he shall be held to have renounced his naturaliza- 
 tion in the United States'' (reciprocally, if an American 
 naturalized in North Germany, Bavaria, etc.); "the in- 
 tent not to return may be held to exist when the per- 
 son naturalized in the one country resides more than 
 two years in the other countr}'.'* The naturalized 
 citizen residing on his native soil is, therefore, left to 
 the tender mercies of the mother-countiy to decide for 
 him whether he has renounced his acquired nationality 
 or not. Our Legation at Berlin is careful in each case 
 where it furnishes a passport, or renews one to a natu- 
 ralized German who has stayed over the stipulated 
 time in his fatherland, to say, "As you have remained 
 in Germany beyond the two years provided for in Ar- 
 ticle lY. of the treaty, the Legation cannot guarantee 
 that the German authorities will not interfere with 
 you." 
 
 Now in the case of North Germany and some of the 
 other German states, the terms of the fourth article 
 (alluded to above) are pretty clear; that is, if a natu- 
 ralized North German residing in North Germany for 
 more than two years is looked upon as having re- 
 
TREATIES. Yil 
 
 nounced his naturalization in the United States, it 
 logically follows that he falls back to his former status 
 of nationality, and is again, per se, a North German 
 subject. 
 
 But Bavaria, which sought to be so explicit in the offi- 
 cial protocol by explaining article for article, has on this 
 point made a mess of it. In the third article of the 
 protocol, relating to the fourth article of the treaty, 
 it says, "It is hereby agreed that when a Bavarian 
 naturalized in America, and, reciprocally, an American 
 naturalized in Bavaria, takes up his abode once more 
 in his original country without the intention to return 
 to the country of his adoption, he does by no means 
 thereby recover his former citizenship ; on the contrary, 
 in so far as it relates to Bavaria, it depends on His 
 Majesty the King whether he will or will not in that 
 event grant the Bavarian citizenship anew. The arti- 
 cle fourth shall accordingly have only this meaning, 
 that the adopted country of the emigrant cannot pre- 
 vent him from acquiring once more his former citizen- 
 ship ; but not that the state to which the emigrant 
 originally belonged is bound to restore him at once to 
 his original relation. On the contrary-, the citizen nat- 
 uralized abroad must first apply to be received back 
 into his original country in the manner prescribed by 
 its laws and regulations, and must acquire citizenship 
 anew, exactly like any other alien. But yet it is left to 
 his own free choice whether he will adopt that course 
 or will preserve the citizenship of the country of his 
 adoption." 
 
 There is something in this concession which would be 
 quite touching if it were not so funny, and it would be 
 extremely funny if it were not for the serious pre- 
 dicament in which the subject of its bounty sometimes 
 finds himself. If a naturalized Bavarian returns to his 
 native country and remains there longer than two 
 years, the Bavarian government has the right to hold 
 that he has renounced his naturalization in the United 
 States ; therefore he is no longer our citizen, and our 
 government, by the terms of the treaty, cannot protect 
 him as such. But then, he is not yet a Bavarian sub- 
 
178 NATURALIZED CITIZENS. 
 
 ject, for he must first make application for that distinc- 
 tion, and is dependent on the pleasure of the kingr for 
 its granting. In the mean time, what is he? He is 
 thoroughly skied, for he can call no part of the earth 
 his own. . Where is he to apply for a recognition of his 
 rights? He is a football between the two powers. He 
 is nowhere. He does not know himself where he be- 
 longs, and if he seeks for information he is sent " from 
 Pontius to Pilate," as the Germans say. If he comes 
 to the consul for advice, the best thing the consul can 
 do is to turn him over to the minister ; if the minister 
 can't handle the case he refers it to the State Depart- 
 ment, and if the State Department is undecided, it asks 
 the opinion of the Attorney-General. 
 
 Now, in the case of a live man, he at least can press 
 the question to a settlement in some way or other, or 
 he can return to America and remain there and con- 
 tinue his American citizenship undisputed ; but suppose 
 a man who is just in the transition state — in the nega- 
 tive state of being neither a citizen of the United States 
 nor a subject of Bavaria — suddenly dies ; then the 
 question of his nationality becomes a very vexed one 
 indeed. In all such cases, Bavaria, as before remarked, 
 either as a matter of courtesy, or in order to avoid 
 complications, tacitly allowed such persons to be con- 
 sidered as American citizens, and what little property 
 they left was administered on according to our laws. 
 But if it were to the interest of Bavaria 7iot to consider 
 such persons as American citizens, there would be 
 plenty of international squabbling over the remains. 
 
 It is not necessary to give examples. The intelligent 
 reader will be able to clearly understand what trouble- 
 some questions may arise in the present uncertainty 
 of the political status of a returned naturalized Ba- 
 varian. Mr. J. C. Bancroft Davis, formerly United 
 States Minister at Berlin, in some of his letters alludes 
 to this matter as " the difficult subject of citizenship :" 
 he hit the nail on the head with a single stroke. 
 
 I now come to another matter connected with this 
 subject. 
 
 We pretend to give our naturalized citizens every 
 
NATURALIZED CITIZENS. I79 
 
 right and the same protection that our native citizens 
 enjoy. We do this at home, but we are not able to do 
 it fully, and to all intents and purposes, abroad, for the 
 reason that the status of a naturalized American citizen 
 on returning to his native land is modified by treaty 
 stipulations. But in as far as we are unhampered by 
 the intervention of foreign governments, in our treat- 
 ment of those who have not yet been abroad for two 
 years, let us see if such enjoy the same advantages as 
 the native citizen under the same circumstances. 
 
 I call attention here to an instruction which was 
 issued by the United States Legation at Berlin, dated 
 June 14, 1875, and which seems to me to bear very 
 unjustly on the naturalized citizen. This circular, ad- 
 dressed to the consular officers in Germany, relates to 
 applications to the Legation for passports on the part 
 of United States citizens. According to its terms a 
 native citizen coming to a consul to make application 
 for a passport is simply required to make oath as to his 
 name, place of birth, age, etc., and his application is to 
 be forwarded to the Legation even if he have no old 
 passport or other paper to identify him as an American 
 citizen. But, in the case of a naturalized citizen, it 
 says, " Should the applicant have neither a certificate 
 of naturalization nor a passport, his application for a 
 passport must be refused. The instructions from the 
 Department of State are positive on this point, and 
 admit of no exception.'' 
 
 Suppose, now, one of our adopted citizens is un- 
 fortunate enough to lose his passport or his certificate 
 of naturalization, or suppose he left America without 
 his bringing either along with him, and it becomes 
 necessary for him to have a passport at once, what is 
 he to do ? He may go to a consul to state his case, and 
 the consul may be perfectly satisfied as to the man's 
 nationality, — may feel tfiat the man is fully entitled to 
 a passport, may know how pressing is the need of one, 
 and may know what disastrous consequences may at- 
 tend the withholding of one, — and yet the consul has to 
 turn the man out of doors as if he were a " heathen 
 Chinee," or something worse. 
 
180 NATURALIZED CITIZENS. 
 
 "But," expostulates the poor supplicant, "at least 
 write to the minister at Berlin in my case ; I can give 
 you every proof you need on my oath and on the 
 declaration of friends who know me personally, that I 
 am a loyal citizen, and I certainly have the right, ac- 
 cording to our Constitution, to be protected the same 
 as a native-born American." The consul rubs his 
 hands and smilingly says, " Ah, it's all very well, my 
 friend, I don't doubt your veracity in the least, but you 
 see, it is not only the passport that is refused you, but 
 you are not allowed to make the application for one. 
 I am not permitted to give you any assistance in this 
 matter. Here are our instructions, you see, in black 
 and white. You had better pack up your bag and just 
 run over to the United States and bring me your 
 citizenship paper, and then I'll make it all right for 
 you." 
 
 Here, then, is a clear case in which the naturalized 
 citizen has not the same rights as the native, and there 
 is no apparent reason for making such a cruel distinc- 
 tion. This is a distinction that is not necessitated 
 through any pressure on the part of a foreign govern- 
 ment, but it is an arrangement that concerns only our 
 own. Again, is not the oath of one as good as the oath 
 of another, when dealing with persons whom we have 
 considered honest enough to confer the great favor of 
 citizenship upon ? 
 
 I had some doubts whether this regulation issued by 
 Mr. J. C. Bancroft Davis (possibly for some particular 
 or temporary purpose) was still to be considered in 
 force after he had left Berlin. I thought, perhaps, it 
 might have been overlooked by his successors in office, 
 and had not been countermanded by them because they 
 had not noticed its harshness. But in 1882 I had oc- 
 casion to allude to the matter in a despatch to the De- 
 partment of State, and was informed, in reply, that the 
 said regulation was still in force. 
 
 The curious feature in the above circular is, that in 
 its introductory paragraph it says, " The statutes of 
 the United States make it the duty of all officers to 
 afford to naturalized citizens the same protection of 
 
NATURALIZED CITIZENS. 181 
 
 persons and property which is accorded to native-born 
 citizens." The same circular, with admirable logic, 
 goes on : " Should the application be for protection 
 against an attempt to compel the applicant to do mili- 
 tary service in Germany, or against an act of local offi- 
 cers, the consular officer, in addition to personal efforts 
 in support of the application, should (unless he be satis- 
 fied that his personal intervention will accomplish all 
 that may be desired) also report the case to the Lega- 
 tion, accompanied by proper proof of the citizenship of 
 the applicant, and by a statement of any other facts 
 necessary to be known." 
 
 Now, if the consul can give proper proof of the citi- 
 zenship of the applicant for the purposes of the latter 
 case, why is that same proof not sufficient to entitle 
 him to make an application for a passport? One might 
 here quite pertinently say, "What is sauce for the 
 goose is sauce," etc. ; but this is low, — it is not diplo- 
 matic. 
 
 If the naturalized citizen gets into such a scrape as 
 just contemplated, the German authorities, in the first 
 place, want his United States citizenship established, or 
 at least the applicant's claim thereto supported by the 
 endorsement of some United States official who is recog- 
 nized as such by the foreign government ; but that can 
 only be done satisfactorily in the form of a passport. 
 The consul is prohibited by the " Consular Eegulations" 
 from giving any paper certifying to a person's citizen- 
 ship. The only proof thereof is the passport itself. 
 
 16 
 
182 CAUGHT BY A LETTER-BOX. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Caught by a letter-box — Stehhalbe — Suspicion of passing counterfeit 
 money — American swindlers — The circus-rider — Telegram, " look out 
 for swindler" — Telegram : lady swindler — Doctor of medicine-swindler 
 — Anthony Sharp — Warlike tailor — Books with begging letters — In- 
 surance companies — Schools and academies: references — American 
 dentists — The flute — Boehm and the Boehm flute — Requests for music 
 — Munich a musical city — International Peace Jubilee — Showing a 
 friend around the city — Which is the gem of the collection ? — What 
 kind of grease do they use for car-axles in this country? — General 
 Grant in Munich — Circular of Department of State — " Put money in 
 thy purse" — Preparations made at Munich — Description of personal 
 appearance — Visit to court brewery — Letters of introduction — State 
 Department letters of introduction — Circular in regard to letters of 
 introduction — Very mean people in the world — Sending Confederate 
 notes to relatives, etc. — " I }iaven*t brass enough for that." 
 
 I OFTEN amuse myself by planning odd situations that 
 a man might get into without any fault of his own, and 
 how he might often be exposed to ridicule, and even to 
 suspicion of the gravest character, by the most trifling 
 mishap. 
 
 Once, in putting a letter into one of the post-office 
 boxes at the street-corners, I found that it was already 
 pretty well stuffed, and that my letter would not go in 
 completely, but left an edge sticking out at the opening 
 of the box so that any one might easily have pulled it 
 out again. I tried to poke the letter in with my fingers, 
 and wedged them in through the oblong slit until they 
 were actually in over my ring. In attempting to 
 draw my hand back, the ring caught against the inside 
 opening, the brass teeth, which hang down, letting any- 
 thing in easy enough, but preventing anything going 
 out (on the principle of a mouse-trap), closed in against 
 the ring, and the harder I pulled the tighter I was held, 
 as if a mechanical bull-dog had me in his grip. 
 
 It was not long: by pushing my hand a little farther 
 in and by raising the teeth with my other hand, I man- 
 aged to get free ; but it went flashingly through my 
 mind what a narrow escape I had made, and I pictured 
 
STEHHALBE. 183 
 
 to myself the pretty predicament a fellow would be in 
 if really thus captured by a letter-box: first, the frantic 
 struggling to get loose, and the horrid sensation of de- 
 spair on finding one's efforts fruitless ; then the crowd 
 gradually collecting; then, perhaps, the offered assist- 
 ance of some one more humane than the rest, whose 
 attempts to extricate our finger are not crowned with 
 any better success than our own; then the thousand 
 suggestions by the crowd as to how the thing should 
 be done: there seem to be as many ways for doing 
 it as there are cures for the toothache. But a 
 crowd is seldom practical ; it is generally more noted 
 for its patience. It is wonderful how long people can 
 hold out, and how much time they can devote to it, 
 when anything is going on where somebody else has 
 met with a misfortune on the street. I suppose it 
 must be on account of the love bestowed on them by 
 the person in the predicament, for the old proverb as- 
 sures us that " misery loves companions." 
 
 A crowd must be entertained, however, and if the 
 originator of it doesn't do something to keep up the 
 fun, the constituents must do something for them- 
 selves ; hence it is that witty and jocose remarks gen- 
 erally fly about from a few of the more humorous 
 spirits in order to pass the time pleasantly. I can 
 imagine, in the supposed case of my letter-box captive, 
 the shoemaker's apprentice (who is always the first 
 man in a German crowd), with his heelless slippers and 
 his arm hung full of boots, and with his impertinent 
 nose, asking the gentleman how long he intends to 
 stay there, and whether he shall bring him a stehhalbe* 
 Another one in the crowd wishes to know " if the <]:en- 
 
 *t.e., a standing half-glass. When good Munichers have been sitting 
 for about seven or eight hours at a stretch in the beer-house, and Avhen, 
 at last, the moral conviction begins to dawn upon them that they are 
 able to hold out until next morning, and they at last rise, and put on 
 their hats and coats and pay their reckoning, it is often proposed by 
 some one of the party to drink a atehhalbe, — to drink half a quart yet, — 
 standi uij, before they go. One Htehhalbe generally loads to another, for, 
 in getting up to a standing position, they always lind that it makes room 
 for still a little more beer. They verify the refrain of the old song, 
 *' The ancient Germans drank still one, before they left.** 
 
184 AN AWKWARD SITUATION. 
 
 tleman perhaps has an attachment on that property," 
 while a third surmises that the gentleman happened to 
 see his tailor coming round the corner and had tried to 
 hide in the letter-box, and thus got caught. But these 
 observations, so sportively put, are only indulged in 
 and enjoyed by the privileged few who are on the in- 
 side. Those on the outskirts of the crowd who are not 
 able to look over the shoulders of those in front, 
 revenge themselves for not being able to see the vic- 
 tim by taking a more sinister view of the case, and it 
 is soon spread around that the person thus happily 
 caught in flagrante is a noted bank robber and forger 
 came all the way from London — or Paris — to do a 
 stroke of business by picking letter-boxes, but that 
 Munich has been too much for him. 
 
 Then, at last, the police arrive and wedge their way 
 through the crowd, and now the real interest of the 
 scene commences. It's no good for the poor gentle- 
 man to explain, for he's not believed, and the gens 
 d'armes would at once march him off to the station, but 
 in this case they can't conveniently do so. It appears 
 to them that they must either take the house along 
 with him, or they must cut off his finger. Here is a 
 horrible situation, both for the sufferer and for the 
 officers of the law. Then some one in the crowd sug- 
 gests that it is not necessary to take the house along, 
 — " send for a blacksmith to unrivet the letter-box 
 from the wall." A blacksmith is sent for (the shoe- 
 maker's apprentice cheerfully volunteers to go for him), 
 and after half an hour's waiting he arrives, but, of 
 course, he hasn't brought the right tools with him, and 
 he has to go back to his shop to fetch them, and on the 
 way he stops to fortify himself with a quart of beer. 
 He can't wrench the thing off with a crowbar, — he 
 must have a file and a chisel. Here some genius shouts 
 out, " Pry open the slit." The crowbar comes into play, 
 and at last the unhappy man is released, — released 
 from the letter-box, but not from the police. He has 
 to. march along with an aching finger and an aching 
 heart, and followed by a dense stream of admirers, to 
 the police-office, there to be examined. The box has 
 
COUNTERFEIT MONEY. 185 
 
 to be examined too, to see if nothing is missing, and 
 lucky is the individual if he gets off from the clutches 
 of the police with nothing worse than an admonition, 
 given in a fatherly way, to mind in future not to put 
 his fingers in things that don't concern him. 
 
 Such is a case that might possibly happen. Here is 
 a case that really did happen — at Nuremberg. 
 
 A gentleman was about leaving the city at night, 
 and being somewhat late was in a hurry. He paid for 
 his ticket in a flurried manner, in silver, and darted 
 off towards the waiting-room to pass through it to the 
 train, but was much startled at feehng himself tapped 
 on the shoulder, in a strange place, and turning, saw, 
 to his horror, that it was a police-officer who had hold 
 of him. The officer told him he arrested him on sus- 
 picion of passing counterfeit money, and dragged him 
 off, despite the gentleman's protestations that he was 
 an honest man and a foreigner. At the police-office, 
 the silver the gentleman had paid at the railway station 
 was produced, and it certainly had a very peculiar 
 whitish lustre, and was blunt and had a very queer 
 feel to the fingers. He was asked to show up his other 
 money which he had about him. All his other silver 
 looked and felt the same way. On closer investigation, 
 however, it was found the silver was genuine, but its 
 singular outward appearance could not be accounted 
 for. His purse was also examined, and he was asked 
 where he had bought it. He had only purchased it a 
 couple of hours before from a street vender, for the 
 moderate sum of fifty phennigs. And then the secret 
 all at once came out. These purses, which had been 
 hawked about the streets and taverns at the above 
 cheap rate, were found to be strongly impregnated with 
 quicksilver, — they had been made out of the cast-off 
 sheep-skin bags in which quicksilver is exported from 
 Spain. The gentleman was at once liberated, with 
 many apologies. But he was obliged to remain that 
 night in the " quaint old town of toil and traffic," to 
 ruminate over his own little traffic there which led to 
 89ch unpleasant consequences. 
 
 16* 
 
186 AMERICAN SWINDLERS. 
 
 Although the unfortunate gentleman above alluded 
 to was perfectly innocent, and was only the victim of 
 an untoward accident, yet his case reminds me that 
 there are, nevertheless, real swindlers enough hailing 
 from our fair land, who transplant their cunning tricks 
 to foreign soils and come under the notice of the police, 
 and very often under the notice of the consul too. 
 
 There was a man who represented himself as a cir- 
 cus-rider. He had been engaged at an American trav- 
 elling circus ; he had been thrown from his horse and 
 had broken his collar-bone, and was then out of employ- 
 ment. He was very crooked about the shoulders, and 
 carried his arm in a sling. He was perfectly destitute 
 in a strange land, had a suffering wife and I don't 
 know how many children to support, and, painful as it 
 Avas to him to do, he had to appeal to the charity of 
 his countrj^men. It was just the day before Christmas 
 when he called, — at a time when the giving hand is 
 more than ever open, — and he received quite consider- 
 able sums of money, besides eatables and clothing. 
 The gentleman's breath smelt somewhat of brandy, 
 which he had taken on account of the intense cold. 
 He was armed with a letter from some susceptible con- 
 sul, who highly recommended him. It is almost need- 
 less to say that it afterwards turned out that the man 
 (very strong, active, and muscular, and with a collar- 
 bone as little out of order as his appetite — or his thirst) 
 was a professional and accomplished beggar. 
 
 A telegram advises me to " look out for Dr. Thomas 
 Blindell, of Chicago, Illinois, swindler, who obtained 
 passport here and money under false pretences. Eetain 
 passport if possible. , Secretary of American Lega- 
 tion." 
 
 Another one, quite mysterious, followed not long 
 after: "American Consul, Munich : Caroline Gardiner, 
 twenty-seven to thirty years of age, lady's maid, tall, 
 slim, dark, agreeable ph^'siognomj^ small eyes, nearlj^ 
 black, fine black hair, green dress, black trimming, hat 
 with flowers, modest, lady-like bearing, wears water- 
 proof C ." 
 
AMERICAN SWINDLERS. 187 
 
 I afterwards ascertained that this person, so modest 
 and lady-like and with the dark, agreeable physiognomy, 
 had robbed her mistress. She was caught. 
 
 A medical gentleman, living quite in style with hi^ 
 wife for some time in Munich, suddenly left, forgetting 
 in his hurry to pay his bill for board and lodging. All 
 he left behind him were a couple of trunks, which, 
 when opened, displayed only a few pieces of old wear- 
 ing apparel and some odd books. He wandered up to 
 one of the northern countries of Europe, where he 
 worked upon the tender feelings of one of our consuls 
 there, who loaned him quite a sum of money, which the 
 doctor made use of for travelling purposes, leaving his 
 wife behind him in a state of great destitution. The 
 consul hoped to get something back in the way of 
 effects, but there was nothing left out of which money 
 could be made ; besides, the landlord of the doctor's 
 former lodgings had a prior attachment. But the affair 
 led to quite an extended correspondence between my 
 colleague and myself, out of which, however, nothing 
 came, for I know my colleague never recovered a cent 
 from the doctor. 
 
 A very poor fellow with his wife and three small 
 children came for assistance. He told me he was from 
 Texas. He said he had a brother in Eatisbon who 
 was going to send him money to go to him, where he 
 could get work at good wages, as he was a machinist, 
 but that at present he had nothing whatever; he was 
 waiting for the money. The whole party had such 
 honest faces that there was no disbelieving the story. 
 My wife allowed them to come every da}'' at noon to 
 get their dinner, and gave sundry bits to take along 
 with them for the children. At last, the money not 
 coming, they begged us for enough to take them to 
 Eatisbon, which the man promised to repay as soon as 
 he got to work and received his first wages. Wo did 
 not flatter ourselves much with the prospect of getting 
 back the money or of ever hearing of them again, but 
 it had done one good to see how the children pitched 
 into the victuals and emptied the dishes. We wore 
 mistaken in our surmises, for a few days afterwards 
 
188 WARLIKE TAILOR, 
 
 came the astounding telegram from the man — from 
 Nuremberg — saying, "My father just written he sent me 
 fifty-two thousand dollars. Please give immediate an- 
 swer. Send it on when it comes. Answer paid. Anton 
 Sharp." Two days after a telegram came from an inn- 
 keeper at the same place, " Do -you know the where- 
 abouts of John Sharp, from Bronzeville, in Mexico? 
 Answer immediately. Paid." Aha ! I thought, John 
 and Anthony are the same person, who conveniently 
 changes his name and place of residence to suit circum- 
 stances ; a light began to dawn upon me as to the charac- 
 ter of my honest friend. In a couple of months a long 
 letter came from the judge of the district court of Nurem- 
 berg, asking for information in regard to Anthony Sharp. 
 The judge said Sharp had been borrowing money largely 
 in that city, representing that he had been a man of 
 great property in Strasburg, but had lost one hundred 
 and seventy-five thousand francs there during the war; 
 his father, however, living in Jamaica (this time), had 
 sent him thirty thousand dollars, which were on their 
 way to him ; that I was instructed as to this remittance 
 by his father, which was to be sent to the consulate, 
 and that he had telegraphed to me to receipt for it. I 
 believe Anthony received something for his financial 
 freaks in Nuremberg, in the way of free lodging for a 
 certain time. 
 
 At the time our Alabama claims were being dis- 
 cussed, a valiant knight of the needle, a stitchologist, as 
 the}^ are sometimes called, from a small town in the 
 Palatinate, wrote me a fervent letter, intimating that 
 in case of the breaking out of a war between the United 
 States and England he was anxious to enter the Ameri- 
 can army. He wanted to know what would be re- 
 quired of him in such a case, — what qualifications it 
 was necessary for him to possess. He was ready to 
 desert his goose for our eagle. He was a far-seeing 
 man and sniffed the smell of coming battles. He evi- 
 dently believed, by putting in an early application, that 
 " a stitch in time saves nine." 
 
AMERICAN DENTISTS. 189 
 
 A consul has a great many books (mostly small 
 volumes of poems) thrust upon him, with begging let- 
 ters from poor authors to buy or otherwise help them, 
 or from parties who sell the book in aid of charitable 
 purposes ; but it is hardly compatible with the salary 
 of a consul to indulge too much in light literature. 
 
 Insurance companies, especially life insurance com- 
 panies, are very anxious to get the consul's name as a 
 " reference" to put on their circulars ; likewise, schools 
 and academies of all kinds. 
 
 American dentists have as great a reputation for skill 
 abroad as they have at home. There are one or more 
 established in almost all the larger cities of Europe, and 
 who generally succeed, and in some cases amass im- 
 mense fortunes. This draws on many more from our 
 shores, who are industriously looking around for an 
 opening. Many were the letters received asking as to 
 the prospects for an American dentist to establish him- 
 self at Munich ; as to the laws of the country respect- 
 ing their practising there; as to the requirements de- 
 manded, etc. Many German dentists are proud to style 
 themselves " American dentist" even if they have only 
 been over to the United States on a short visit and 
 pulled a couple of teeth there, or those who only sub- 
 scribe to American dental journals and use American 
 instruments and appliances. 
 
 The flute is a favorite instrument with a good many 
 people, and on quiet summer nights its melancholy 
 tones can be heard floating out from many a third-story 
 back-room window. It is a patient instrument too, 
 and can often wait a long while for one note to follow 
 another, as if they were in no hurry whatever to catch 
 the train of melody ; and that is generally the stylo of 
 the amateur performer. But the flute was always a 
 defective instrument ; some of the tones were leaky 
 when in the hands of the best players ; the holes and 
 the keys were not adapted to the natural position of 
 the fingers. 
 
190 MUNICH A MUSICAL CITY, 
 
 In the beginning of this century, a noted flute-player 
 in the Munich orchestra, Theobald Boehm, gave his at- 
 tention to the perfecting of his professional instrument, 
 the flute. His alterations went so far as to make the 
 flute quite another instrument, for the boring and the 
 placing of the holes were made on a new principle, and 
 the celebrated Boehm flute was the result. The old 
 gentleman died only a few years ago at an advanced 
 age. He was a genial man, and a great admirer of 
 America and of Americans, and I had many pleasant 
 and entertaining talks with him. One of our officers in 
 the State Department is a flute-player, and he wrote 
 me several times to give him information in regard to 
 the mechanism of the Boehm flute, and to have certain 
 things explained to him by the maker. Others wrote 
 to me on the same subject, so that by degrees I got to 
 know all about it. 
 
 Then came requests to send over music for the flute 
 arranged in a certain way. 
 
 Munich is a musical city, and a city of good music 
 I need scarcely refer to the court orchestra, both in tht, 
 Eoyal Opera-House and in the Odeon, the performances 
 of which rank second to none in Europe. Then there 
 is the magnificent church music, which can be heard 
 almost daily. In St. Michael's Church the old masses 
 of Palestrina, Pergolese, Ett, and Orlando di Lasso are 
 wonderful in the fulness, richness, pathos, with which 
 they are rendered. The military mass on Sundays, in 
 which the organ is supported by full orchestra, is a 
 grand treat indeed. In the court chapel the choir is 
 composed of the principal singers of the opera. The 
 military bands are the finest in Germany; they play 
 daily at the Hall of the Marshals and at the City Hall 
 on the Marien Platz ; they perform, besides, almost 
 nightly at the larger beer-gardens and concert-rooms. 
 But there are many other bands, in addition, which can 
 be heard for a trifling sum, — about ten cents of our 
 money. Gungl was for many years in Munich. Even 
 in the smallest beer-houses, the hock music in the morn- 
 ing is always bright, sprightly, and stirring. The 
 
INTERNATIONAL PEACE JUBILEE, 191 
 
 South Germans are musicians by nature — by disposi- 
 tion, — they are full of fire in their performances. But 
 the reputation of Munich as a musical city is too well 
 known to require further mention here. 
 
 In 1872, when the International Peace Jubilee was 
 held at Boston, one of the agents, in a somewhat pom- 
 pous letter, wanted the consul to write to the Minister 
 for Foreign Affairs to send over a " crack" Bavarian 
 military band. The expenses of transportation were 
 to be paid by the association. The terms were quite 
 liberal. He also wanted the consul to send a special 
 invitation to the king to go over to attend the concerts. 
 He did not say whether the king's expenses were to be 
 paid too, but he held out, as a special inducement, that 
 " President Grant has promised to come too." 
 
 Showing a friend around the city, " showing him the 
 lions," in fact, is one of the most thankless tasks that 
 fall to the lot of a person who is supposed to " know 
 the ropes.'* When you pilot your friend around you 
 call his attention to what you consider sightworthy, 
 and you begin to expatiate on the beauties of a certain 
 building, or the peculiarities of a certain custom, and 
 you are distressed to find that he doesn't enter into 
 the warmth of your discourse, and you catch him look- 
 ing away, abstractedly, in another direction, or gazing 
 intently at something which you fail to see. You fol- 
 low his eyes and try to discover what it is they are 
 looking at. A feeling of disappointment creeps over 
 you, knowing, as you do, that you have been imparting 
 very useful information (information that is not to be 
 found in the guide-books) that hasn't been listened to. 
 A feeling of littleness creeps over you too, because you 
 know that you have studied up the subjects that 3^ou 
 are speaking about well, that you have had time to 
 form your own opinion of them, that you have heard 
 the opinions of so many others, and that you have had 
 the advantage of the acquaintance of old residents who 
 have told you many particulars relating to houses, and 
 streets, and monuments, and places that a stranger or 
 
192 SHOWING A FRIEND AROUND THE CITY, 
 
 a traveller could never have got hold of, — and, sud- 
 denly, you find that you have been pouring these valu- 
 able descriptions and narrations (for which a person 
 ought to feel most grateful) into ears belonging to eyes 
 that are intently fixed on something else. You begin 
 to have a general feeling about you of, ^-Confound the 
 fellow ! he is always looking at the wrong thing." 
 
 If you are in a picture-gallery, its walls blazing with 
 Titians and Tintorettos, with Murillos, Rubenses, and 
 Vandykes, with Diirers and Holbeins, and you dis- 
 course eloquently on composition and expression and 
 color, your companion has a bland look about him, and 
 his eyes wander aimlessly from canvas to canvas, or 
 are fixed on the ceiling or on some distant door. You 
 recall his attention to what is before you, and just as 
 you think you have at last chained him with partici- 
 pating interest in the subject, his mercantile mind will 
 upset you by his suddenly asking you, '• Xow, which is 
 considered the gem of this collection ?" In other words, 
 he would like to know which picture has the highest 
 money value. That puts a stop to all further art dis- 
 course, and the only satisfaction you have is to tell him 
 imperiously and with an unsympathetic frown for his 
 insensitiveness, that the treasures of art are not weighed 
 out like sugar or soap, nor sold by the yard like his 
 own calicoes ; and that you hope these, in particular, 
 will never come under the hammer in order to satisfy 
 him as to which one brought the highest bid. 
 
 You used to be such vei-y good friends with each 
 other at home, and now you find that there doesn't seem 
 to be as much sympathy between you as formerly. 
 The things which you have been accustomed to think- 
 ing very fine, and which you think ought equally to 
 interest those who now see them for the first time, 
 almost begin to appear a little tame to yourself, and 
 you are sensible of some vague, undefinable loss. What- 
 ever you may say in praise of a thing, your friend is 
 sure to compare it with something else he has seen at 
 some other place, which is finer. You now feel that it 
 would be a relief to knock off from sight-seeing alto- 
 gether, and to drop into some pleasant, shady little 
 
SHOWING A FRIEND AROUND THE CITY. 193 
 
 beer-garden for lunch, there to talk of other matters. 
 But in this you are balked : you haven't even the con- 
 solation of your friend getting hungry at the same 
 time as yourself You have settled down to the cus- 
 toms of the place you are in, and take your meals at 
 early hours. Tou have had nothing but a cup of cof- 
 fee and a roll since rising, while your friend has had 
 his late breakfast of beefsteaks and potatoes and ome- 
 lette, and does not want to spoil his appetite for his 
 five o'clock dinner. 
 
 I remember once starting out with a gentleman to 
 show him the sights of the city. I had promised my- 
 self much pleasure in his companionship, for he had 
 professed himself very much interested in architecture, 
 and said he wanted to have the benefit of my comments 
 on the various buildings of Munich. I felt flattered, 
 and therefore felt pleased, and I thought I had at last 
 got hold of some one whose rapt attention to my 
 words would be a reward for the brilliant and original 
 remarks I was going to treat him to. 
 
 We were standing in front of the arch of Victory at 
 the end of the Ludwig Strasse, its pure white marble 
 glistening in the bright sunshine like snow, and re- 
 lieved by one of those intensely blue skies, such as one 
 sees nowhere more beautiful than, occasionally, in 
 Munich. I was explaining the bas-reliefs to him, 
 praising the delicacy of the proportions of the archi- 
 tecture, pointing out to him the fine profiles of the 
 mouldings, calling his attention to the fresh contrast in 
 color between the gleaming marble and the deep azure 
 of the air, and was just going off into a learned disqui- 
 sition concerning the differing points between this mas- 
 terpiece of Gaertner's and the arch of Constantino at 
 Eome, which evidently suggested the Sieges Thor at 
 Munich, when I suddenly perceived that the gentleman 
 was not stretching his chin up at the same angle as 
 mine (and which he ought to have been doing), but 
 that he was intently gazing at something down the 
 road, through one of the arches. I could see nothing 
 but a horse-car gliding quietly along, and becoming a 
 less and less spot of blue in the distance, while the 
 I n 17 
 
194 GENERAL GRANTS TOUR. 
 
 sound of its little bells on the horse had entirely- 
 died away. But the gentleman had been evidently 
 watching that very car, for just when I was in the 
 most complicated part of my architectural analysis, 
 he said, without raising his eyes from the ground, " I 
 wonder what kind of grease they use for their axles 
 in this country?" I am sure, even if I had known, I 
 would not have told him for any consideration. 
 
 I was appointed to office by President Grant. I got 
 my appointment in the way the most of them are pro- 
 cured, — through the recommendation of some senator 
 or congressman. At any rate, I felt very thankful to 
 President Grant for conferring such an honor on me. 
 
 President Hayes came out so strongly in regard 
 to civil service reform before his election, that there 
 was no backing out afterwards, and with his coming 
 in fewer official changes were made (at least in the 
 consular service) with the change of administration 
 than had ever been made before. So it happened that 
 when General Grant spread his Saratoga trunks over 
 the civilized world, ready to take up in their capacious 
 maws all the addresses, testimonials, and the more sub- 
 stantial expressions of admiration that were showered 
 upon him, most of the United States representatives 
 abroad were of his creation, and were directly under 
 obligations to him for the positions they held. It 
 was perfectly natural, therefore, that if General Grant 
 visited any of the cities to which such officers were ac- 
 credited, they would show him that attention that was 
 due to his rank and for his long and eminent services 
 to our country. 
 
 Had our then President (Hayes) any distrust of his 
 ministers and consuls, who were still holding their 
 offices under him, so to speak, on suiferance, or was the 
 Department of State oversensitive or shaky in its 
 opinion of the gentlemanliness of its subordinates 
 abroad, that it saw fit to issue the following circular, 
 which seemed to me to be as uncalled for as it was 
 didactic in its spirit? — 
 
• 
 
 CIRCULAR OF DEPARTMENT OF STATE. 195 
 
 "Department op State, 
 "Washington, May 23, 1877. 
 
 "To the 
 
 ^^Diplomatic and Consular Officers of the United States : 
 '' Gentlemen : 
 
 "General Ulysses S. Grant, the late President of the 
 United States, sailed from Philadelphia on the 17th in- 
 stant for Liverpool. The route and extent of his travels, 
 as well as the duration of his sojourn abroad, were alike 
 undetermined at the time of his departure, the object 
 of his journey being to secure a few months of rest and 
 recreation after sixteen years of unremitting and de- 
 voted labor in the military and civil service of his 
 country. 
 
 *^ The enthusiastic manifestations of popular regard 
 and esteem for General Grant, shown by the people in all 
 parts of the country that he has visited since his retire- 
 ment from official life, and attending his every appear- 
 ance in public from the day of that retirement up to 
 the moment of his departure for Europe, indicate be- 
 yond question the high place he holds in the grateful 
 affections of his countrymen. 
 
 " Sharing in the largest measure this general public 
 sentiment, and, at the same time, expressing the wishes 
 of the President, I desire to invite the aid of the 
 Diplomatic and Consular officers of the government 
 to make his journey a pleasant one, should he visit 
 their posts. I feel already assured that you will find 
 patriotic pleasure in anticipating •the wishes of the De- 
 partment by showing hihi that attention and considera- 
 tion which is due from every officer of the government 
 to a citizen of the Eepublic so signally distinguished 
 both in official service and personal renown. 
 "I am, gentlemen, 
 
 " Your obedient servant, 
 (Signed) "Wm. M. Evarts." 
 
 Reading between the lines, it was plain that the 
 meaning of this exhortation was not only that it was 
 expected of our ministers and consuls to Bhow their 
 outward respect to our great commander by putting 
 
196 GENERAL GRANT IN MUNICH. 
 
 on a fresh paper collar for the occasion, but that it 
 embodied that sterner adjuration of lago's, "Put 
 money in thy purse." I think it would have been 
 more graceful on the part of the Department to have 
 left its consuls and ministers to follow their own in- 
 stincts, and I don't think they would have brought 
 shame on the Department thereby, while certainly, to 
 the fine-feeling traveller, the social homage paid him 
 must have a better flavor if he knows it to be sponta- 
 neous, and not commanded from above. 
 
 Everybody has heard of General Grant's travels, — 
 how his few months were extended, how tokens of 
 regard were presented to him by corporations and 
 cities and states, and by potentates of every degree 
 and complexion, and how juicy dinners were given 
 him everywhere. He was a most comprehensive 
 traveller, — he took in everything ; he left scarcely a 
 country unvisited. 
 
 It was to be expected, then, that such a city as Mu- 
 nich would not be slighted. 
 
 From Switzerland the general wrote to me that he 
 was coming to Munich on a certain day next week, in- 
 tending to spend the next day there, and on the fol- 
 lowing morning to leave again. It was in August, — 
 at a time when there are scarcely any of the residents 
 or sojourning Americans in town ; however, a notice 
 sent to what few there were still in the city brought 
 them together, and we made plans for receiving the 
 general next day, and doing the best we could. We 
 were just about breaking up for the evening, and were 
 fully prepared for making an onslaught on the flower- 
 shops and for going to the station to meet the general 
 and Mrs. Grant the next day, as a first step, when 
 the little circle was startled b}^ the arrival of a note 
 from the proprietor of the hotel where they had pro- 
 posed staying. This considerate gentleman, just in the 
 nick of time, sent us word that he, had received infor- 
 mation that the general had concluded to put off* his 
 visit till November. That note saved us the mortifica- 
 tion at least of rushing to the station armed with 
 pretty speeches and flowers and having nobody to fire 
 
GENERAL GRANT IN MUNICH, 197 
 
 them at. After having been written to so particularly 
 as to when the general was coming, and how long he 
 was going to stay, I had imagined that he would also 
 have let me know directly of the change of his plans. 
 But I suppose his not doing so was a war stratagem 
 which I could not understand ; at any rate, we were 
 debarred the pleasure of seeing him that time. 
 
 It was not till September of the next year that 
 General Grant did come to Munich. This time his 
 courier wrote to me. 
 
 Notice was again given to the few Americans in 
 town to assemble together. They mostly seem to have 
 heard in their childhood the story of the little boy that 
 cried '' wolves! wolves!" — fooling the people who 
 rushed to his rescue, so that when the wolves really 
 did come, the people thought he was only making fun 
 again. The gentlemen assembled were not as enthusi- 
 astic this time as I could have wished to see them. It 
 was evident that if anything was to be arranged in 
 the way of a festive reception, it must be done by the 
 American artists, but they were all off in the country 
 making studies, only two or three happening to be 
 about. 
 
 It was again determined to do the best we could. 
 
 The day had been fixed by the courier when we 
 were to expect the general, but on the day preceding 
 I received a letter from him about noon, that the gen- 
 eral and Mrs. Grant would arrive that very evening at 
 six o'clock. I had onl}'- time, therefore, to capture the 
 best flowers that Munich could produce on such short 
 notice, and found myself at the station, a deputation 
 of one, with a hired fellow behind me holding the 
 flowers. A sudden storm came up, and it was raining 
 in torrents, and the wind blowing a gale as if it would 
 lift the roof from the building and carry it away. 
 
 The train was nearly an hour behind time, and I 
 stood on the tiptoe of expectation ; when the train at 
 last did come, the warning whistle sent a strange thrill 
 through mo. I straightened myself up to give myself 
 as soldierlike an appearance as possible, lor I thought 
 I should feel awed in the presence of the martial form 
 
198 GENERAL GRANT IN MUNICH, 
 
 and military bearing of our greatest soldier. I don't 
 know why it was that I was picturing to myself some- 
 thing like General Scott before age had bent him. I 
 knew that Grant was not a tall man, but the fame of 
 the hero of so many bloody battle-fields makes the 
 impression on one's imagination of his being something 
 grander than ordinary mortals. I knew his predilec- 
 tion for military men, and I was keenly sensitive that 
 I might appear a very small and insignificant civilian 
 aside of him. 
 
 When he got out of the cars I knew him at once, 
 though he was not at all like what I had been ex- 
 pecting. He wore a light summer overcoat and car- 
 ried an umbrella ; his figure was stooping, and, except 
 that he had a full beard and moustache, he looked like 
 a meek Pennsylvania Friend from the country in his 
 First-day clothes. But what took me still more aback 
 was the smallness of his voice. Could those thin, 
 piping tones, I thought, be the ones that were heard 
 above the roar of artillery, the rattle of musketry, the 
 clashing of swords, — shouting commands to his aides ? 
 
 I believe he was not feeling quite well (he had just 
 come from the baths of Eagaz), and he intimated that 
 he would like to have a few days' rest. After escorting 
 them to their quarters at the hotel, I left them for the 
 evening. 
 
 Their stay at Munich was short and quiet : the gen- 
 eral was busy all the time with his correspondence. I 
 asked him if he would not like to see the galleries, the 
 museum, the bronze foundry, etc. (there were no sol- 
 diers in town, for it was just the time of the autumn ma- 
 noeuvres), but he kept his cigar in his mouth and replied, 
 " Well, I guess I don't care much to see such things ;" 
 but when I asked him (as we were walking through 
 the Maximilians Strasse not far from his hotel) if he were 
 thirsty and would like to go to the Court Brewery, close 
 by, and get some of the best beer in the world, his 
 cigar twinkled, and he said he had no objection. When 
 we drew up to that noble building and entered the yard 
 and tried to wedge our way through the crowd of 
 people standing elbow to elbow, and each armed with 
 
GENERAL GRANT IN MUNICH. 199 
 
 a quart pot in his hand, and heard the hum of thou- 
 sands of voices and saw the happy expression of gusto 
 in the fiaees of the drinkers, I noticed for the first and 
 only time during his visit an approach to a smile on 
 the general's staid countenance. The incipient smile 
 was only momentary, still, it was index enough to 
 denote that the general was tickled. This army of 
 beer-drinkers had conquered his gravity for a single 
 second. 
 
 It is the work of some minutes to get inside the 
 building, which is always just as jammed as the yard, 
 only that here the majority of the people are sitting on 
 dirty benches at dirty tables, but with all the passages 
 filled with standers, whilst in the yard all have to 
 stand except those few lucky ones who get hold of an 
 empty barrel to serve as seat and table. There is not 
 much done in the way of waiting on the public at this 
 establishment ; there are about two serving-women for 
 a couple of thousand guests, so that it is only the 
 favored ones that can get hold of one of these Hebes to 
 fetch him his drink. The mass of the frequenters of 
 this place wait on themselves, and prefer to do so. 
 The receipt for getting your beer is something like the 
 receipt for cooking a hare, — " First, you catch your 
 hare.'* The manner of proceeding is this: the first 
 thing that is wanted is a mug to put the beer in, — one 
 therefore hunts around for an empty mug. These 
 mugs are of gray stoneware with a pewter cover and 
 a number engraved thereon. If anywhere a mug is 
 standing with the lid left open, it is a sign that it is 
 empty, and at the disposal of any new-comer, or if it 
 is lying on its side, it is empty fer se. 
 
 Grant watched my tactics as if it were some new 
 war manoeuvre ; I felt flattered by his interest in the 
 proceedings. After a careful reconnoissanco I at last 
 succeeded in capturing two mugs. The next thing is 
 to skirmish through the crowd to the hydrant with 
 the big stone trough under it to wash the mugs tho- 
 roughly (for each man washes his mug carefully first, 
 — and indeed, each time he gets the same mug filled 
 again). The next position to take by storm is the long 
 
200 VISIT TO COURT BREWERY. 
 
 counter, behind which the flowing beer-barrels are 
 posted, and once there, you shove your mug along the 
 counter, being very careful to note your number, and 
 at the same time to pay the price of the beer. The 
 mugs are snatched up by another man behind and set 
 with uptilted lids on a long tray beneath the spigots, 
 which are attended to by a third man ; the mugs are 
 pushed along in Indian-file under the flow, and are so 
 deftly handled that the moment one is full the next 
 one is shoved in its place, and so it sometimes happens 
 that a barrel of several hundred quarts is emptied 
 without once turning off^ the spigot. As the full mugs 
 work their way along the tray they are taken up by 
 the second man and brought to the counter, and he 
 calls out the numbers in a rapid manner, which, if 
 translated, might sound something like the following: 
 *' Sev'n hund fo teen nint fo six hund twent sev two 
 bund tate five hund two eight sev nine hund twent 
 six fo sev nint fo," etc., without a comma, colon, or 
 dash between either. Each fellow makes a dive for his 
 mug and shoulders his way out of the crowd, — if such 
 a term were proper, — but it is rather a shifting of posi- 
 tion only in one contiguous crowd. When the jam is 
 more than usually dense there is a little stratagem em- 
 ployed (and it is always done on such occasions), that 
 of singing out, ^^ Sauce meine, Herrenr — '^ Gravy, gentle- 
 men !" This is intended to imply that one is carrying 
 a dish of stew high over the heads of the crowd, and 
 considerately wishes to avoid spilling the gravy on the 
 shoulders or the shirt-fronts of those around him. It 
 generally has the desired eff*ect, and a few inches more 
 passage-way is allowed one. 
 
 At last we got out into the yard again, where the 
 general put his quart inside of him without winking. 
 He only stopped once in the middle to take breath and 
 to remark, " Ah, this is excellent beer I" When I asked 
 him if he would like to have another go, he said, "My, 
 mercy, I could hardly get that down." 
 
 I don't think he paid the beer any unmeaning com- 
 pliment, for that same evening (my colleague from 
 Nuremberg happening to come to Munich to pay his 
 
LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. 201 
 
 respects) the general particularly requested him to go 
 with him again to the Court Brewery, and there he put 
 down more of the delicious stuff. The general, on this 
 occasion, employed the services of a kellnerin to bring 
 his beer to him. He created some stir afterwards by 
 giving her a two-mark piece (fifty cents) as *a tip. It 
 was a lucky thing for him that he got away unmolested, 
 for the giving of such an immense sum as a tip at the 
 Court Brewery is liable to raise suspicion in the breasts 
 of its frequenters of the money having been honestly 
 come by. 
 
 It has already been mentioned that a great many peo- 
 ple come to the consul armed with letters of introduc- 
 tion from persons of high standing in the United States. 
 Many travellers think it more necessary to provide 
 themselves with such helps — which are so easy to be 
 got — than with a passport. That consuls are very 
 often bored by such visitors, who generally come to the 
 consulate and poke their letter of introduction into the 
 consul's hand, and then expect him to devote at least 
 an hour of his valuable time to their conversation, can 
 easily be conceived. It is not always out of respect to 
 the person that comes, but out of respect to the writer, 
 that one must bear the infliction. There has been 
 great abuse practised in the indiscriminate furnishing 
 of such letters of introduction. I have no doubt that 
 many consuls take the same view of the matter. One 
 of them writes in introducing a particular friend of 
 his, "I am sure that in bringing you together I confer 
 
 a favor on both, for Mr. I know to be one of 
 
 those Americans whom we consuls do not dread to 
 encounter," etc. 
 
 Our State Department was formerly very lavish in 
 its gifts of such letters, — any decently-dressed person 
 could get one by going there, — but in a circular of 1881, 
 addressed to the Diplomatic and Consular Officers of 
 the United States, it says, "Letters of introduction in 
 favor of American citizens travelling abroad will hero- 
 after only be issued to officers of the government, or in 
 cases where some special reason may make it the in- 
 
202 CONFEDERATE NOTES. 
 
 terest of the Department to commend some one to 
 your consideration for a particular purpose. The prac- 
 tice of granting general introductory letters to facilitate 
 travel will be discontinued. 
 
 '' With regard to outstanding letters of introduction, I 
 have to observe that personal commendation to your 
 courteous attentions is not to be construed as import- 
 ing any claim to the hospitalities of the representatives 
 of the United States abroad, or as requiring more than 
 the kindly civilities which are naturally due to coun- 
 trj-men in a strange land, and which it is presumed 
 they uniformly receive at your hands. For such pur- 
 pose a passport or evidence of citizenship and identity 
 is thought to be sufficient. Under no circumstances is 
 it intended that the recommendation of the Depart- 
 ment should entail any charge on you, or constrain 
 you to render personal service to a visitor to the detri- 
 ment of the business of your office." 
 
 There are some mean people in this world, — there are 
 some very mean people. I'm sorry to say weVe got a 
 few of them in the United States. 
 
 After our war, I think there were at least a score of 
 cases of people who came to the consulate to ask me 
 how much certain notes were worth that they had re- 
 ceived from America. Sometimes it was a loving 
 brother who sent his poor sisters in the Fatherland so 
 and so many dollars as a present, sometimes it was an 
 affectionate son who sent his old father something to 
 help him along, and sometimes it was an honorable 
 debtor who not only wanted to square up, but who 
 wanted to do the handsome thing by sending his patient 
 creditor a round sum covering the amount of the origi- 
 nal loan with a fat rate of interest for his long waiting. 
 These tokens were sent in the form of government 
 notes, and the beaming recipients (mostly from the 
 country) generally thought that I was the person to 
 cash them. These notes were government notes, but 
 they were of the government of the Confederate States, 
 which nobly volunteered to pay " to the bearer, two 
 years after the ratification of peace," etc. 
 
THE PASSION PLAY, 203 
 
 It was heartrending to witness the despair of these 
 people sometimes when I w^as obliged to tell them that 
 the notes were worth about as much as the paper they 
 were printed on, unless they could find somebody that 
 was fond of buying curiosities; then, perhaps, they 
 might get twice as much. 
 
 A young and very modest (sic) sculptor was once 
 asked why he did not have some of his works cast at the 
 royal bronze foundry. " Oh, I haven't brass enough for 
 that," he said. 
 
 CHAPTEE XIV. 
 
 The Passion play at Oberammergau — Interviewed as to my opinions of 
 the play — Performance at New York prohibited — Origin of the play — 
 Loss of originality — Successive alterations and improvements — Speci- 
 men of the old text — Reforms — The performers — Edward Devrient's 
 book — The representatives of the characters — Morality of the Ammer- 
 gauers — A village brawl (note) — Opinions of English and Ameri- 
 cans — The acting — Quotations from Devrient's book — The effect pro- 
 duced upon us — The mind prepared for the play — Effect on devout 
 Catholics — The stage — The absence of something — Dialect — Lodgings 
 with the thief — The little child actress — Why do people say " Christus" ? 
 — Meeting Christ in the cars — Personal appearance of Maier — Eating 
 curds and whey with mustard — An Americanism ! " I cannot en- 
 thuse" — " He talks like an Englishman." 
 
 So much has been written about the Passion play at 
 Oberammergau that I presume all my readers, even 
 those who have not seen it performed, have a full 
 knowledge of its history, and a good idea of the sub- 
 stance of the drama and of its mode of representation. 
 
 I would not inflict my readers with anything further 
 about it, only that during the years of its performance 
 I was written to so much in reference to it by travel- 
 ling Americans who had a desire to see it,* and was 
 
 * So many letters were received, asking for information as to the days 
 of the performance, price of places, and beht moans of getting there, to- 
 gether with requests to secure tickets and lodgings for strangers, that it 
 
204 THE PASSION PLAY. 
 
 interviewed by them both before and after they had 
 been there as to what I thought of its moral tendency, 
 it now seems a sort of gentle retaliation to write still 
 a few lines about it here. 
 
 The ultra-religious, or, better perhaps, the ultra- 
 sectarian, had their doubts about the propriety of the 
 thing, though they had a strong hankering to see it ; 
 and if they did go to see it, they did it probably on the 
 principle of the good clergyman who read all the bad 
 books that he might be better able to preach against 
 them and warn his flock to keep clear of them. Yet 
 there was scarcely an}^ need for pious laymen having 
 any scruples about going there, seeing that hundreds 
 of clergymen of all denominations and of all countries 
 found nothing wrong in doing so. The opinions of 
 these clergymen and of strict church people who had 
 been to Oberaramergau differed of course widely from 
 each other, but the majority of those with whom I 
 spoke were fully impressed with the grandeur of the 
 play, and did not find anything revolting or objec- 
 tionable in such a performance as performed at Oberam- 
 mergau. That is the justest criticism of the whole 
 thing. When a speculative individual proposed giving 
 a similar performance in New York, I was heartily 
 glad that the mayor so strenuously protested against 
 it and refused giving a license. What here springs 
 from an inward conviction on the part of the simple 
 villagers of the sanctity of their doings, would be there 
 but a foul device for prostituting the effects of the stage 
 to render coarse and commonplace what we instinc- 
 tively feel should be veiled in the mystery of awe. 
 The Passion play is a thing that cannot be transplanted ; 
 it is as much a growth of the soil as the silk-like star 
 of the edelweiss that clings to the rocks of the highest 
 and almost inaccessible peaks of the Bavarian moun- 
 tains, — nearest to the eternal snows whose color it 
 takes. 
 
 was necessary to issue a little circular from the consulate giving all the 
 essential data for the benefit of American visitors as a general answer 
 to their letters. 
 
THE PASSION PLAY, 205 
 
 The present Passion play is a survival of the old 
 church plays called " mysteries," because they were in- 
 tended to impress upon the minds of the people the 
 mystery of the divine religion, and they date back al- 
 most to the founding of the Christian Church. When 
 Christianity spread to Germany these plays also found 
 their way there, and already in the twelfth century 
 they were performed with great pomp. Originally, 
 the performance took place in the church itself, after- 
 wards in the graveyard or some other consecrated 
 spot. The pieces were written by the priests, and the 
 priests themselves personated God-Father, Christ, the 
 apostles and the saints ; the other characters alone were 
 allowed to be performed by the unanointed. Passages 
 from the life of Christ and also plays founded on the 
 historical narratives contained in the Old Testament 
 were presented, but the passion of Christ and his re- 
 surrection always remained the most popular and the 
 n^st engrossing subject on account of its thrilling dra- 
 matic interest. The Oberammergauers, when they 
 made their solemn vow in 1633, at the time of the 
 plague, that they would represent the passion of Christ 
 every ten years, were already acquainted with the play 
 in the form in which it was written by the monks of 
 the neighboring monastery of Ettal. With the excep- 
 tion of one or two interruptions, for which the Ammer- 
 gauers were not responsible, the vow has been kept to 
 the present day. 
 
 There is only one other place where the play is still 
 performed, — at Brixlegg, in Tyrol, but it never there 
 reached the eminence of the Ammergau play, nor did 
 it ever approach the latter in the artistic manner of its 
 getting up nor in the histrionic skill of its actors. 
 
 In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries there 
 was scarcely a village in the mountain districts of Ba- 
 varia and Tyrol that did not have its religious play of 
 some kind, and, especially during Lent, the Passion play. 
 But in places where they were not directed by the 
 clergy, or by the monks, these plays began to lose the 
 strict religious decorum of the surroundings which at- 
 tended their original representations, and tliey began 
 
 18 
 
206 THE PASSION PLAY. 
 
 to be resorted to by the peasants more as places for 
 festive meetings than for devotional purposes, so that 
 through the efforts of the clergy and the state they 
 were finally suppressed in 1781. 
 
 If some people complain that the Passion play as 
 now performed has lost its originality, and that the 
 acting is no longer the simple exponent of the religious 
 feeling on the part of the actors which it formerly was, 
 they are not doing full justice to the performance nor 
 to its histor3^ 
 
 Our taste has become more refined in the course of 
 centuries than it was in the middle ages when manners 
 and customs were much rougher, and what then was 
 not considered at all out of the way would shock us 
 ver}^ much now. The play, as successively altered, has 
 been also successively improved, both in text and in its 
 scenic arrangement, as well as in the accompanying 
 music. In its original form, and indeed in the form in 
 which it was given up to the end of the last century, 
 it was full of absurdities, not to use a harsher word. 
 The devil in person held a prominent part in the 
 play, and his satellites often filled the stage. Their 
 pranks were of the most ludicrous kind, and espe- 
 cially, when the punishment of Judas came on, they 
 performed freaks which would be disgusting to our 
 tastes, both morally and aesthetically, but which at 
 that time greatly enhanced the dramatic power of 
 the play in the minds of the audience. When the arch- 
 betrayer had hanged himself, these little devils cut him 
 down and then cut open his stomach and feasted 
 luxuriantly upon his entrails, which were made of 
 smoking sausages, so that it was worth something to 
 the village urchins to be allowed to play such demon- 
 iacal parts. Tbe text, too, was quite in keeping with 
 the performance. When Judas came on the stage, rope 
 in hand, and in doggerel verses cursed his hard lot, 
 Lucifer upon his throne, sitting in state, and surrounded 
 by his imps, declaimed as follows : 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! my Judas, I guess 
 I've got you now ; 
 I'll make the leaping fire hot, I vow. 
 
THE PASSION PLAY, 207 
 
 You'll have to roast forever and a day. 
 Why did your master you betray ? 
 Hello ! ye devils, come and take him ; 
 Forever now I'll burn and bake him." 
 
 Such scenes and such unadorned language were 
 popular with the peasantry, and the bodily presence of 
 Satan as the exponent of all evil, and of his imps as the 
 all obsequious servants doing his will, made the moral 
 application of the piece more understandable to them. 
 It was a difficult business for those reformers, who, with 
 better taste, saw that the evil influence working in 
 mankind should be represented in the character of 
 Judas itself, and not through the visible presence of 
 Satan, to do away with him and his court, — and it was 
 not until the beginning of the present century (1811) 
 that this was accomplished. 
 
 It is not to be regretted that the play has been 
 thoroughly expurgated and that the text has been re- 
 vised and rewritten, so as to make it more in harmony 
 with the dramatic earnestness of the characters and the 
 situation. 
 
 In regard to the performers themselves, it may be 
 said that if they have lost anything in the originality 
 of their representation, they have gained more than 
 they have lost, in the better understanding of their 
 task attained by good and intelligent schooling. In 
 consequence of the improved means of communication, 
 the villagers of Oberammergau are not as isolated as 
 in former years, and the outer world being more easy 
 of access to them, many of the present performers have 
 seen dramatic representations and good acting on the 
 stage of Munich. Even if they are unwilling to take 
 the acting of a profane subject as a model for that of 
 their religious performance, or even if they are incapa- 
 ble of imitating the manners of good orators and good 
 delineators, the}' still get some idea there of stage pro- 
 prieties and of the most eflfectivo ways of communicat- 
 ing the words and meaning and sj)irit of the author to 
 the audience. As the Ammergau play is intellectually 
 gotten up on the co-operative plan to a groat extent, 
 it is evident that those who have seen acting at other 
 
208 THE PASSION PLAF. 
 
 places can. besides guiding themselves thereby, influence 
 others in the matter of stage deportment, so that by 
 degrees the sharp edges of the performance have thus 
 been rounded off and a greater harmony in the whole 
 design attained than was formerly the case. 
 
 If it be said that the villagers' playing is addressed 
 rather to the high pei^onages and educated strangere 
 who throng the dearest places than to the simple 
 peasantry on their hard benches — and who composed 
 their original audience — said that everything is done 
 to win the approbation (and the money) of the former, 
 the answer is, that the first-named classes of people are 
 now in the majority, and really give the most material 
 support to the undertaking; yet it would be doing 
 great injustice to the good people of Ammergau to say 
 that they would not perform with the same spirit and 
 earnestness even if the boxes and the higher places 
 were empty, or were occupied only by peasants like 
 themselves. One must never leave out of sight the 
 origin of the performance; the religion of the people 
 which binds them to their church and its observances 
 binds them also to the vow of their forefathers, and, 
 audience or no audience, they will still continue to give 
 the play, — and their children after them will do the 
 same. 
 
 Before the year 1850, when Edward Devrient, the 
 great German tragedian, visited Oberammergau, and, 
 in the following year, wrote a most favorable criticism 
 of the play, it was scarcely known outside of Bavaria, 
 and there were only a few chance visitors from other 
 countries. His book gave the performance popularity, 
 and at each succeeding representation strangers from 
 all parts of Europe (among whom the English were 
 prominent) and our own countrymen in ever-increasing 
 numbers thronged the roads leading to Oberammergau 
 and filled the higher-priced places in the auditorium. 
 
 There is one thing that prevents the play from 
 degenerating into a mere theatrical performance. The 
 representatives of the different charactei^s having only 
 the aid of costume, but not that of the ordinary stage 
 *' make up'' in the way of paint and wigs, are selected 
 
THE PASSION PLAY. 209 
 
 in accordance with their natural resemblance to the 
 personages in the play as transmitted to us by tradi- 
 tional descriptions or by the accepted types as painted 
 by the old masters. Thus each person for months 
 before the play takes place (sometimes even for years), 
 feels himself identified with the character he is to per- 
 sonate; that character is nothing new or strange to 
 him ; he has learned to know it thoroughly through 
 illustrations given from the pulpit of the village church 
 from his youth up, and when he comes to take it on 
 himself he feels an increased interest in it. When he 
 goes upon the stage, having no other preparation to 
 make than to put on the simple costume, it is nothing 
 further to him than the changing of one raiment for 
 another, and he enters into the action of the piece 
 almost in his natural character. Knowing his part 
 perfectly, and that of all the rest, his mind is not 
 hampered by having to look to any prompter for his 
 cue or for the words of his own speech, so there is no 
 balking on the part of any performer nor in the play 
 itself. 
 
 There may be some of the inhabitants of the village, 
 it is true, who are not fully imbued with the sanctity 
 of the performance (for there is no community on earth 
 where all are saints) ; but then, in making a choice of 
 the character which each is to take, it is not the out- 
 ward resemblance alone of the real man to his ideal 
 that is taken into consideration, but his moral standing 
 also has a great deal to do in the matter. For the 
 part of Christ, for instance, it is not enough that the 
 mere personal appearance of the performer should be 
 suitable, but he must also be a man of acknowledged 
 religious character, — a man whose life is pure, whose 
 reputation is spotless, and whose moral tendencies are 
 of the highest. Indeed, it would shock the feelings of 
 the most depraved if, in illustration of the character 
 and actions of Christ, it were not known that the per- 
 former was at least as godly a man as the community 
 can furnish, known to all, and approved by the village 
 priest as a man worthy to take tiie part. But it must 
 not be understood that the performers are graduated 
 o 18* 
 
210 THE PASSION PLAY. 
 
 in their moral standing according to the characters 
 they have to play, for Judas and Pilate are probably 
 just as good men in private life as any of the others, 
 and it would be hard to find men willing to take such 
 parts if it were supposed that they w^ere selected be- 
 cause of any affinit}' in their nature with that of the 
 arch-traitor or the weak ruler; my meaning is, simply, 
 that only those of irreproachable character and those 
 w^ho are impressed with the earnest and devotional 
 spirit of the play are taken for the principal parts. 
 
 But the whole village of Oberammergau is noted for 
 its good morals,* The performing of the pla}^ itself 
 w'ith all that pertains to it, its traditions, its close asso- 
 ciation with the historical events which shadowed forth 
 in the Old Testament the coming of one who was to 
 redeem the world, the teachin<rs of forgiveness and for- 
 bearance as exemplified in the life of Christ, and, abov^e 
 all, the immediate and intimate and frequent contact 
 into which the villagers are brought with their curate, 
 — all these have their influence in softening the man- 
 ners and in curbing the passions of the people. 
 
 Englishmen and Americans generally go to Oberam- 
 mergau either with their expectations raised too high, 
 or with too little preparation from previous reading up 
 of the subject, and in consequence, those of the former 
 class are often greatly disappointed with the play, 
 while the others seem quite bewildered, and forming a 
 hasty judgment from impressions only, they either laud 
 the whole performance as being nothing short of per- 
 fection, or they sum up their opinion of the representa- 
 tion, of the players, and of the tendency of the play as 
 blasphemous, coarse, degrading. What they sec and 
 hear is shocking to them because the familiarity with 
 which the subjects of the Old and New Testament are 
 
 *0n one occasion, in the evening, after the play, when the streets 
 were crowded with departing guests, there was a brawl before one of the 
 taverns which attracted our attention. An old man seeing us standing 
 there (it was the one who had been Abraham in one of the tiibleaux) 
 came up to us and hastened to explain that they were peasants from 
 quite another part of the country, and not Ammergaueis; he seemed 
 jealous for the good reputation of the village. 
 
THE PASS TON PLAT. 211 
 
 treated is so new to them. They forget, or do not 
 take into account, that in the Catholic churches people 
 are accustomed from childhood up to seeing statues 
 and paintings of all the saints, of Christ and the Virgin 
 Mary, and even of God-Father. The sculptured fig- 
 ures, mostly of wood and painted in the natural colors, 
 are often lovingly (if tastelessly) dressed in gorgeous 
 raiments of silk and cloth and gold, like children dress 
 their dolls. On certain festivals these figures are car- 
 ried around the village on the shoulders of youths and 
 of young girls. The figure of Christ on the cross, in 
 every possible material, of every size, — from that of 
 your little finger to the colossal, — and with every 
 liberty taken with anatomy that it is possible to take, 
 is on every roadside and in every house, in every 
 tavern ; they pray to it, converse with it, and even 
 handle it reverentially and kiss it. They know that 
 these figures are the work of men's hands (numbers of 
 them being made in Oberammergau itself), — they arc 
 not worshipped as idols, but are looked upon as the 
 Bj^mbol of their religion, as a constant reminder of the 
 sufl'ering that was gone through by its founder for the 
 redemption of mankind. It is but a slight step further 
 for them to give actual life to the figures and action to 
 the scenes that are so well known to them. If our 
 people find an^^thing revolting to their religious feelings 
 in the play, they must recollect that it was never 
 written for them, nor intended for their approval, but 
 for those upon whose minds the living picture of the 
 suffering of Christ and of his final triumph would have 
 a beneficial eifect. 
 
 As regards the acting itself, I think there can bo no 
 more competent judge than Edward Devrient, the actor, 
 before alluded to. In describing the first scene, the 
 entry of Christ into Jerusalem (to my mind the most 
 imposing scene of all), he says: "Christ approaches 
 the anterior stage (through the city gate to the left), 
 upon which the sunshine is streaming, which at the fii^st 
 glimpse seems to concentrate u|)on him like a halo. 
 His descent from the ass is easy and lull of grace, tor 
 he does not bestride the animal, but sits sideways like 
 
212 THE PASSION PLAY, 
 
 the women. All such things are done with a remarka- 
 ble tenderness of feeling." " It makes the most won- 
 drous impression on us to see our Saviour — that 
 conception nurtured in our imagination as its most 
 cherished object from childhood up, seen by us in so 
 many pictures — here moving before us in bodily pres- 
 ence, and speaking. The performer is, in his outward 
 appearance, so excellent that we give ourselves up en- 
 tirely to the artistic illusion. Not only his person, but 
 his very motions seem to grow out of old pictures. 
 The gestures of his arms, of his hands, the light and 
 yet so quiet gait, — everything is done in the most rev- 
 erent manner, and yet all so natural, so unstudied, so 
 inherent. One feels that the rdle is not learned, but 
 lived through." 
 
 In alluding to the scene in the temple where Christ 
 overturns the tables of the money-changers and of 
 other dealers, and the seats of them that sell doves, 
 and of the tumult that thereupon ensues, he says : " All 
 these different groups speak together in masses, and 
 3^et distinctly, with the greatest anger and vehemence, 
 and yet there is no discordant screaming. Christ's 
 words are heard clear through all the din of the multi- 
 tude. Everything preserves its just balance, and yet 
 all is full of life and energy. There are no supernu- 
 meraries upon the stage, — that is, dumb persons who 
 only fill out a place, — all are real actors ; all, even the 
 little children, speak and gesticulate. But it is remark- 
 able that the machinery of the drilling is never detected 
 in the action. We believe we see real persons, who 
 all, and moved bj^ the same living impulse, have the 
 same words on their lips." 
 
 At the conclusion of the morning performance he 
 says : " I w^as moved to ecstasy by the fulness of the 
 impressions which I received from the first part of the 
 play. My doubts in regard to the much-worried ques- 
 tion as to the propriety of representing the person of 
 our Saviour on the stage were completely dispelled 
 from that hour; I was conquered." 
 
 — ''Not only that no protanation of our idea of the 
 Saviour could be here thought of, but the spiritual pic- 
 
THE PASSION PLAY, 213 
 
 ture presented obtained such a convincing reality 
 through its bodily presence among other men, that 
 many things relating to Christ's appearance on earth 
 that I had tried to make clear to myself now for the 
 first time took the form of actuality." 
 
 — *' On his triumphal entry, surrounded by the mul- 
 titude crying hosanna, I read upon his brow that he 
 was yet to be their victim. In the midst of the excited 
 opponents, still victorious in spirit, the knowledge of 
 the necessity of his sacrifice already seemed to throw 
 its shadow over the simple, afi*ecting figure. That un- 
 derstood apparition was doomed — from the very begin- 
 ning — to be denied, betrayed, and abandoned by all 
 who were now following him." 
 
 — " I began to feel already that the crime of man- 
 kind against its ideal was to be brought home to my 
 heart by this village tragedy with such thrilling per- 
 ceptibility as no words or pictures had yet had the 
 power to impart." 
 
 Independently of the subject of the play and its 
 highly dramatic incidents, which both appeal so di- 
 rectly to all hearts, and of the vividness of the action, 
 the effect produced upon us is still further heightened 
 by the novelty of the scene and the situation ; by the 
 unusual arrangement and colossal dimensions of the 
 stage and the auditorium ; by the ingenious alternation 
 of the living pictures from the Old Testament (embodj^- 
 ing each a prophecy referring to the ensuing scene of 
 the play) with their accompanying explanation by the 
 chorus of guardian spirits, and the drama proper; and, 
 lastly, by the quiet demeanor of the audience, and the 
 rapt and devotional expression seen on every face. 
 
 One enters the building with a mind prepared for 
 earnest, thoughtful attention. 
 
 The ride or the walk from Murnau to Oberammer- 
 gau is one of quiet beauty. We are approaching the 
 rolling hills which are the outworks of the grand B»- 
 varian Alps. Beyond the first range are seen the dis- 
 tant peaks bathed in the soft colored light of the sotting 
 sun, while the country we are passing through, undu- 
 
214 THE PASSION PLAY. 
 
 lating in its character and crossed by many a mountain 
 stream, is clothed with the most luxuriant vegetation. 
 To those who have never been in a mountainous coun- 
 try as well as to those who know the mountains well 
 — and love them, — it seems like entering into a new 
 land of promise. 
 
 Notwithstanding the prosaic scrambling to secure 
 one's bed and supper on arrival, on being awakened at 
 daybreak the next morning by the firing of cannon and 
 the sound of the village band moving through the 
 streets, and on going out into the pure, fresh early 
 mountain air, the dew glistening on the grass, and see- 
 ing thousands and thousands of people pouring — an 
 endless caravan — towards the theatre like a pilgriin- 
 a2:e to a holy city, a new sensation takes hold of us. 
 We are thrilled with expectancy. A mysterious feel- 
 ing (almost akin to awe) that we are about to witness 
 scenes that will deeply affect us creeps over us. I 
 think even the most hardened, the most thoughtless, 
 and even those who have no belief, must still concede 
 that the story of the career of Christ on earth, his suf- 
 ferings, the contumely to which he was subjected, his 
 base betrayal, his humble yet steadfast bearing, and 
 his final triumph, form the most touching drama that 
 has ever existed or can be conceived of If to the 
 minds of those who, putting aside the divine origin of 
 Christ, look upon him merely as a historical character, 
 the narrative of the New Testament is full of pathos, 
 with how much greater force must it move the hearts 
 of those who are inspired with its truth. It is by being 
 mingled wnth thousands of the latter who, about enter- 
 ing to witness in tangible form what has hitherto only 
 laid hold of their imagination, show by their deport- 
 ment the solemnity of the occasion, that those of less 
 faith are tinged with a feeling of earnestness also. 
 When standing at an open grave, although we may not 
 have known the deceased, and the death may not in 
 any way personally concern us, yet the grief of those 
 around draws us instinctively into sj^mpathy with them 
 and with him for whom they mourn. 
 
 It is very difficult for me to express in words what I 
 
THE PASSION PLAY. 215 
 
 was inwardly impressed with on observing the surging 
 crowd on my visit to Oberammergau. The idea I seek 
 to convey is, that even before entering the building 
 our minds voluntarily or involuntarily have been 
 brought to a slate of solemn preparation so different 
 from the entire absence of emotion with which we 
 enter an ordinary theatre, or other place of entertain- 
 ment. 
 
 Once inside the building (or, rather, enclosure) and 
 having secured our seats, the first thing that strikes us 
 is the immensity of the structure. From the covered 
 loges at the back the seats sweep down a long inclined 
 plane, to the stage, so that the figures in front seem 
 quite small from the great distance they are from us. 
 The stage itself, with its proscenium of eighty feet in 
 width, its curious combination of open space in front 
 with the covered inner stage in the centre, having the 
 houses of Pilate and Annas adjoining it on either side, 
 and beyond these again, to the right and left, the 
 streets of Jerusalem running far back behind the cen- 
 tral stage, — all this is so novel, and so well adapted to 
 the movement of the play, that the mind loses itself in 
 quiet speculation as to how grand the effect will be 
 when all is filled with actors. We have heard that in 
 some scenes between five and six hundred persons are 
 on the boards at once. We now begin to comprehend 
 how it is possible for them all to find room. But what 
 gives the picture its peculiar charm is, that beyond this 
 broad sweep of varied structure (Roman in its general 
 character), and rising high above the pediment of the 
 temple-like building in the centre, we see the rolling, 
 verdure-clad hills forming a background, and the light 
 morning clouds floating over them. Nature and iho 
 work of men's hands seem here to blend harmoniously 
 together. We are in an enclosed building, and yet 
 we are in the open air. We hear the low tinkling of 
 bells in the distance, we hear the songs of birds, and 
 see them flitting above and around us. 
 
 The audience is streaming iti from all sides, yet all is 
 hushed and quiet ; the people take their places as they 
 would do in a chnrch. 
 
216 THE PASSION PLAY. 
 
 That the performance is given without the aid of 
 artificial light greatly enhances its effect. I have seen 
 it in sunshine and in rain, and under either condition 
 it struck me that no theatrical appliances of illumina- 
 tion would have improved it: the very singularity of 
 this feature gives it additional interest. 
 
 While sitting through the long performance, quite 
 lost in deep attention, we have yet at times a certain 
 undefined feeling of the absence of something, — some- 
 thing we do not miss, yet something to which we are 
 accustomed. It is like the sensation one experiences at 
 Yenice, — we are there in a populous, bustling city, the 
 streets are full of passengers, laughing, talking, crjnng 
 their wares as in other places, nevertheless we wonder 
 every now and then what it is that impresses us so by 
 its absence, and it is some time before it occurs to us 
 that it is the usual rattle of vehicles and the clattering 
 of hoofs that we do not hear. So at Oberammergau, it 
 is the absence of all applauding on the part of the vast 
 audience that has impressed us so vaguely. 
 
 Those American and English visitors who go to the 
 extreme of commendation of everything pertaining to 
 the play mostly aver that the performers speak a pure 
 German without any dialect. This assertion comes 
 from their not being entirely conversant with the lan- 
 guage, and from their ears not being able to detect 
 what is quite apparent to a German. The Oberam- 
 mergauers strive to pronounce their sentences correctly 
 on the stage, but being accustomed to their own dialect, 
 w^hich is a very broad one (like that of all Upper Ba- 
 varia), this unusual manner of speaking sounds very 
 affected with the most of them, and their dialect shines 
 through notwithstanding the pains they sometimes 
 take to conceal it. But after all, there is no great 
 necessity for their trying to pronounce in the accepted 
 style of the best German. This original performance, 
 the outgrowth of the simple poetical proclivities of a 
 people dwelling in a mountainous region, would lose 
 nothing of its charm if the performers spoke unre- 
 strainedly in their own natural tongue. 
 
THE PASSION PLAY, 217 
 
 On my first visit to Oberammergau I lodged with 
 one of the thieves (the bad one who would not repent, 
 even on the cross). I had a small room there, barely 
 furnished, but everything scrupulously clean and neat, 
 . and with an excellent bed. The man was a saddler by 
 trade. He told me it was no easy matter hanging on 
 to the cross so long (nearly twenty minutes) with his 
 arms over the beam, and that it always tired him very 
 much. He was a jolly fellow, and had a good deal of 
 thirst in him, which he alluded to incidentally ; so we 
 had some wine together, and in return he took me all 
 over the stage and showed me every part of its simple 
 construction, and especially the means by which the 
 performer of Christ is attached to the cross. Under 
 the stage, and on the meadow back of it, are rude tables 
 and benches where the players sit when not engaged 
 in the scene : it is pre-eminently a green room. There 
 are but a few dressing-rooms, many of the participants, 
 especially the children, putting on their costumes at 
 home and walking in them to the theatre. One often 
 sees the latter flitting about the town, and even during 
 the performance, back of the theatre, on the hill-side. 
 In one of our rambles we came across a little girl of 
 not more than three years, with a light gauze tunic, 
 with sandals on her naked feet, and a golden band 
 through her flaxen curls, and asked her what she did in 
 the play. She said, with childish simplicity, " At the 
 manna I do so," suiting the action to the word and 
 falling on one knee and stretching out her open palms 
 as if catching something, and with upturned face, " and 
 at the big grapes I do so," turning half round and 
 clasping her hands together as if in astonishment. 
 The little thing was proud of her contribution to the 
 whole. 
 
 I do not know why all people who speak about the 
 Passion play (and those who write about it too) persist 
 in always saying "the Christus" instead of "Christ." 
 They seem to think it blasphemy to use the English 
 word in conversation, and in connection with its human 
 representative on the stage. It strikes mo that it is 
 K 19 
 
218 THE PASSION PLAY. 
 
 very poor make-shift for their conscience to do so ; in- 
 deed, I think they are really sinning in an opposite 
 direction by thereby imputing ignorance to the Deity, 
 by whom German is as well understood as English. 
 It is like those good people who always say "darned," 
 when they know, and we know, and God knows that 
 they really mean " damned." 
 
 It was in the summer of 1870, just after the breaking 
 out of the Franco-German war. It was the regular 
 year for the performance at Oberammergau, but the 
 play was suspended, because many of the performers 
 had been called to arms. I was at Stamberg with a 
 friend, just about taking the train for Munich. In 
 looking about for seats my friend exclaimed, " There 
 sits Mair;* let's go in to his coupe.*' We soon got into 
 conversation with him. Several other performers were 
 with him. He told us how, the evening before (Sun- 
 day), he had played and had just time to run home, get 
 his clothes on, take a hurried leave of his wife and 
 children, and, by riding all night, to catch the steam- 
 boat at Seeshauptf for the early train. 
 
 He showed us his hands, the palms of which were 
 now quite hardened, but had been at first full of 
 blisters ; he said the arrangement for holding the hands 
 out, with the nail which appears to go through them, 
 hurt very much, and that it was a severe strain on the 
 whole body to remain on the cross during the twenty 
 minutes which the scene lasted, and a great part of 
 that time to keep perfectly motionless representing 
 death. We made the remark that if he had to join the 
 army he would have to have his hair cut, and that that 
 would disqualify him from taking the part again in 
 case the war should terminate and the play were re- 
 sumed ; he answered, " Oh, in that case I could have a 
 wig made, which would be more agreeable than wear- 
 ing the long hair continually." Although he spoke 
 
 * Joseph Mair played the part of Christ in 1870, in 1871 when the 
 play was resumed, and in 1880. 
 
 "I" At that tipae the railroad did not go as far as Murnau. 
 
THE PASSION PLAT. 219 
 
 lightly, I do not think he meant it so, for the smile 
 that accompanied his words was a very mournful one. 
 He told us they had decided not to take down the 
 theatre for the present, as they yet had hopes that 
 towards the end of the summer they might be able to 
 use it again. 
 
 That a man taking such a prominent part in the 
 play as he should get somewhat spoiled by all the 
 flattery heaped upon him by over-susceptible people, 
 especially of the gentle sex, is not to be wondered at. 
 He was quite simple and open in his manners, yet he 
 fully felt his importance. I liked the bearing of his 
 companions better. He told us that when he got to 
 the city his first business was to go to the court theatre 
 to pay his respects to his '^ colleagues," and that then 
 he would go to the commandant and report himself for 
 military duty. 
 
 He did not have to serve in the ranks, however, but 
 was appointed a place as military scribe of some sort. 
 I often saw him afterwards on the streets of Munich, 
 still with his long hair and pointed beard. 
 
 Joseph Mair was not a handsome man in the face ; 
 his features were somewhat lumpish and he was broad 
 at the cheek-bones, yet on the stage he had a certain 
 resemblance to the pictures of Christ as painted by the 
 old masters. His hair was darker than it is generally 
 depicted. His figure (especially the lower limbs were 
 remarkably fine) was well proportioned, and quite 
 elegant. He had soft, dreamy eyes, and a habitually 
 mild, melancholy expression of countenance. He had 
 a clear, tender, and sympathetic voice with well-regu- 
 lated modulation. 
 
 One little incident connected with Oberammergau, 
 and then I have done with the subject. 
 
 It is curious how many things are taken for granted 
 by people who do not look deeper than the surface for 
 the causes of certain customs ; many accidental occur- 
 rences are jotted down by travellers in their note-books 
 as the peculiar but every-day practices of nations which 
 are strangers to them. Books of travel, if not always 
 
220 SUGAR AND MUSTARD, 
 
 interesting, are often amusing to the initiated from the 
 number of queer things that are seriously written about 
 foreign countries and about the customs of the in- 
 habitants by amateur excursionists, who flatter them- 
 selves that after a few weeks' experience gained in 
 hotels and on the streets and in the family of whom 
 they hire their rooms, they are perfectly acquainted 
 with the national and social characteristics of the people 
 they are sojourning with. 
 
 Walking to Oberammergau with a friend just at the 
 height of the season of the Passion play, and when the 
 roads were full of vehicles of all kinds conveying thou- 
 sands of eager visitors to the little village, we stopped, 
 tired and thirsty, at an humble wayside inn and farm- 
 house to rest and refresh ourselves. We thought some 
 thick milk — bonny-clabber we call it in some parts of 
 the United States — would cool us off and set us up for 
 the rest of the hilly way, so we ordered some, with the 
 usual accompaniment of sugar and cinnamon. 
 
 The landlady, a good-humored soul, and a woman of 
 penetration, who had heard us speaking English with 
 each other, soon brought us each a broad earthen dish 
 of deliciously cool milk, thick as a jelly and with a rich 
 crust of cream on the top like a meerschaum just be- 
 ginning to color. It was fresh from the cellar. She 
 then brought us each a little saucer filled with crushed 
 sugar, and another little saucer filled with — mustard. 
 We expressed our astonishment at this and supposed it 
 must be some mistake. " Oh, no, not at all ; the Eng- 
 lish always eat thick milk with sugar and mustard," 
 said the woman. " The other day there were a couple 
 of English ladies here and they called for sugar and 
 mustard, and ate it on their milk with great relish." 
 
 My powers of reasoning did not desert me at such a 
 moment. 
 
 The German word for cinnamon, zimmt, and the 
 German word for mustard, senf^ — the way it is pro- 
 nounced in Bavaria, — sound very much alike. 
 
 I can readily imagine that the English ladies in ques- 
 tion in all honor called for sugar and cinnamon, but 
 perhaps not speaking the word quite distinctly, it 
 
AN AMERICANISM, 221 
 
 sounded like mustard. The landlady may have been a 
 little surprised, at first, at this singular order, but then 
 recollecting that "the English are crazy enough to do 
 anything," as people here often say, she thought they 
 really meant mustard, — so she brought them mustard. 
 The English ladies, on their part, who wished to un- 
 derstand the country thoroughly, and who acted on 
 the principle that when in Eome one must do as the 
 Eomans do, considered this a new and noteworthy ex- 
 perience of their travels, and therefore ate the curious 
 mixture with a determination and persistency that did 
 honor to their British constitutions. 
 
 I have not had the pleasure of seeing the published 
 book of travels of these ladies, but I am as well satisfied 
 that they have therein promulgated the fact that the 
 Germans always eat thick milk with sugar and mustard 
 as I am that the good old landlady believed the same 
 thing of the English when she told us so. 
 
 CHAPTEE XV. 
 
 Difference between English and American — Lies mostly in the tone of 
 the voice — Voices of American women — *' A bad workman quarrels 
 with his tools" — School-girls* French — German coming into fashion — 
 Clumsy German words — Faults of both languages equally balanced — 
 Want of expressive English words — Want of genders to our nouns — 
 The German diminutive — Germinant qualities of German language — 
 Long words — French technical words — Use of titles — Full title to bo 
 nsed in Reuss-Schleiz, etc. — Fellow from Arcadia learning four lan- 
 guages — Hospital wanting pay for an American — Consul's answer to 
 the letters — Liberality of our government and people — Collections in 
 Munich for Chicago sufferers — United States pensioners abroad. 
 
 Is this an Americanism? I suppose it is. A gentle- 
 man from Ohio, quite well educated, as it seemed to 
 me, in the course of conversation which turned on art 
 and on the works of the old masters said, " Well, at any 
 rate I cannot enthuse for such objects." 
 
 A lady and a gentleman who came to the office on 
 
 19* 
 
222 VOICES OF AMERICAN WOMEN. 
 
 business fell into a low conversation with each other 
 while I was doing some writing for them. I happened 
 to overhear the lady say to her companion, " He talks 
 like an Englishman," — meaning me. I do not know 
 whether it was intended as a compliment or otherwise. 
 
 When people call attention to the difference of our 
 manner of speaking from that of the English, I think 
 they (without being quite clear about it) lay more 
 weight upon our pronunciation and enunciation, and 
 the use of slang phrases, than on the tone of the voice, 
 which, it appears to me, really constitutes the essential 
 difference. As far as slang goes, the English have just 
 as much of it as we have ; but slang should be avoided 
 in all good conversation. It is not alone that it is 
 always coarse, but it also denotes a feebleness in the 
 expressing of ideas. As regards pronunciation, there 
 is in many cases no established rule, and numbers of 
 words are really left to the taste of the speaker in pro- 
 nouncing them. There are some vowel sounds which 
 are less agreeable to the ear than others, and among 
 these is the broad, long i, and I think it is as well to 
 avoid it in all words where it is admissible to do so. It 
 certainly sounds very harsh when people persist in 
 saying piesmna and genui^^m^ and Ztalien, as many of 
 our folks do. But all these things are less disturbing 
 in reality to the Englishman who finds fault with us 
 than the high pitch to which we raise our voices, — 
 especially our women. Whether that comes from our 
 climate, or from habit, or from want of proper training, 
 or from any other cause, I leave the learned to decide. 
 Living for a long time abroad, this peculiarity does cer- 
 tainly strike one more than when one is accustomed to 
 hearing it on all sides at home. 
 
 When people approached my door, in conversation 
 with each other, — even before I could distinguish the 
 words that were spoken, — even before I could tell 
 whether it were English or German that they were 
 speaking, — that strident voice which seems to be manu- 
 factured and produced somewhere between the eye- 
 teeth and the nostrils, and forced through a syringe 
 
GERMAN COMING INTO FASHION. 223 
 
 instead of flowing in rounded tones from the grand 
 bellows of the lungs, warned me that it was the 
 American female that was coming. 
 
 "A bad workman quarrels with his toolsJ^ 
 
 The German language is only beginning to come into 
 fashion with us as an accomplishment. ^ 
 
 No school-girl thinks her education finished until a 
 smattering of French has been driven into her. She 
 learns the phrase-book through, and her conversations 
 with the washerwoman, the chambermaid, the dress- 
 maker, the physician, and the green-grocer go pretty 
 glibly when her master (mostly some snuffy French- 
 man with a genealogy reaching back to a count, at 
 least) complacently takes upon himself to personate, 
 for the time being, each of the above characters ; but 
 when she gets to Paris and hears the oily talk of the 
 real French washerwoman and the real French cham- 
 bermaid, the ditto dressmaker and physician and 
 green-grocer, she finds that she is all abroad, and she 
 is astonished to find that they neither say nor answer 
 what is set down for them in the phrase-book, and that, 
 besides, the talk has quite a different sound, and that 
 she can't make out where one word begins and another 
 ends. Her French is first rate in America, but it don't 
 seem to hold together in Paris. After all, for showing- 
 oif purposes, America is a better field for her than 
 France, and by putting a few volumes of Kacine and 
 Moliere and Voltaire, and Eugene Sue and Dumas, 
 and Emil Zola in the bookcase, and by leaving them 
 carelessly opened on the centre-table, she can prove to 
 her own satisfaction and to the env}^ of those who 
 haven't, that she has mastered the French language. 
 
 Fashion now demands that she shall master the 
 German in the same wa}' also. Perhaps this budding 
 fashion has been dragged in by the heeU in the form 
 of the cotillon which has with us received the name 
 of the " German." But the study of the German lan- 
 guage has not yet taken such root with us as that of 
 the French, and we still have several millions of people 
 
224 DEFICIENCIES OF OUR LANGUAGE, 
 
 to whom it is yet quite strange, and those who have 
 already attacked the language are undecided whether 
 it is "the thing" to enjoy it or not. In this incipient 
 stage it is a most common thing (and it is considered a 
 witty thing) for people on first coming to Germany to 
 point out the defects of the language, and they deem 
 it funny to call attention to the fact that the Germans 
 call a thimble a *' finger-hat ;'' a glove, a " hand-shoe ;" 
 a pin, a "stick-needle;" a sweetheart, a "love-haver;" 
 a blow, an " ear-fig ;" a corn, a " chicken eye ;" and they 
 love to point out what short and simple words we have 
 for everything. 
 
 But without going into any philological dissertation 
 on the peculiar merits of either language, I believe the 
 deficiencies of both (for we are naturally fond of finding 
 fault) are about equally balanced. In regard to our 
 own language as compared with the German, it would 
 certainly be an embellishment if we had a real declen- 
 sion of the nouns, adjectives, and articles, instead of 
 having to glue the sense together with prepositions. 
 Our verbs are rich in the different forms of certain 
 tenses, but our nouns, pronouns, and adjectives are very 
 lame and limping from the want of a dative case. 
 
 In real, understandable, Saxon words for many con- 
 ceptions, we are sadly deficient. In teaching the young 
 idea how to shoot, it stumbles at the very first words 
 that are presented to it. After getting through our 
 complicated and ruleless spelling, the next target set 
 up for it is arithmetic, and its rings are called addition, 
 subtraction, multiplication, and division, while the 
 bull's-eye is fractions. But how is a child to get an 
 idea of the meanings of these terms? Is there any 
 simple word, tangible to their young perceptions, that 
 conveys a clear picture of what all these hard words 
 are about? The German language, besides having all 
 the above technical terms for older understandings, has 
 real German words for them all, which express "teach- 
 ing of counting," " putting together," " taking away," 
 "making more," "separating," and "breaking," respec- 
 tively. 
 
 When the young idea comes to grammar it gets still 
 
WANT OF EXPRESSIVE ENGLISH WORDS, 225 
 
 more bewildered in the maze of nouns, pronouns, verbs, 
 adverbs, adjectives, articles, prepositions, interjections, and 
 conjunctions, infinitive, indicative, subjunctive, and impera- 
 tive moods, conjunctions, declensions, auxiliaries, and de- 
 fectives, not one of which expresses to the young idea 
 an obvious meaning. Here the German language 
 comes in with crisp words of its own, — and so, all 
 through, there is a corresponding original word for 
 every foreign one that is introduced into the language. 
 
 The German, on embarking in the practice of the 
 English language, feels the want of a great many nice- 
 ties which distinguish his own. In the first place, if 
 only speaking of his friend or his cousin, he finds it 
 embarrassing that, in order not to be misunderstood, 
 he has to refer to them as his male friend or his female 
 friend, his male cousin or his female cousin, or else he 
 has to prop up his meaning by clumsily dragging in an 
 explanatory pronoun. Imagine, my gentle reader or 
 my stern reader, the feelings of a foreigner (you don't 
 know, now, whether I mean a he-foreigner or a she- 
 foreigner) on hearing, perhaps, at an evening party 
 or in the family circle, some lady relate how she had 
 just returned from Europe with a neighbor to whom 
 she was very much attached, and that they occupied 
 the same state-room all the way, and what fun they 
 had with each other ; or, some gentleman giving his 
 experiences of a stroll in the country with his cousin, 
 and how, coming to a secluded spot on the borders of 
 a well-sheltered stream, out of sight of every one, they 
 undressed themselves and went in to bathe together. 
 In his language there could be no misapprehension in 
 hearing such statements, but in ours, the guileless 
 stranger (unless he keeps a sharp look-out for the ex- 
 planatory pronouns) is left to wonder, in such cases, 
 whether it is our grammar or our morals that is at 
 fault. 
 
 To be sure, we have the sexual distinctions between 
 kings and queens, emperors and empresses, princes and 
 princesses, counts and countesses, barons and baron- 
 esses, but these are just the people wo have the least 
 use for in our blessed country. In the narration of in- 
 
 P 
 
226 THE GERMAN DIMINUTIVE. 
 
 tiraate relations with our friends, cousins, and neighbors, 
 there is room for a good deal of presumptive specula- 
 tion on the part of the foreign listener. In the most 
 loving connections of life we are singularly in want of 
 words. We have no single word for brothers and 
 sisters together, and we have no endearing, single 
 word for " mother-in-law." The few masculines and 
 feminines which we have for animals are not used 
 with full freedom, and prudish people think it quite 
 abominable to discriminate between the genders of 
 gome of our most favored pets, while, as for saying 
 cock-pigeon and hen-pigeon, cock-sparrow and hen- 
 sparrow, it is simply shocking, and the gentleman of 
 the domestic feline pet is dignified with a Christian 
 name to designate his sex in order to get rid of the 
 stilted form of calling him a he, 
 
 A great charm of the German language is the con- 
 tinual use of the diminutive in familiar or affectionate 
 conversation. There is not a noun to which the dimi- 
 nutive cannot be applied. The termination varies in 
 different parts of Germany. In Bavaria, the soft, gut- 
 tural erl gives a peculiar cadence to the word. When 
 a person uses the diminutive, you know that he has 
 affection for the person addressed or for the thing 
 spoken of. It is not alone to children that this form is 
 used, and it must not in any manner be considered 
 analogous to our celebrated baby-talk, in which we 
 smash up our language for our infants, and then (after- 
 wards) set them to work, in their tender childhood's 
 years, to hunt together the broken pieces, and to com- 
 mence learning to speak anew, worrying at them to 
 discard the pronunciation they have heard from others, 
 when addressing them, from their very birth, and 
 driving at them to speak properly, and in quite a dif- 
 ferent manner to that in which their young tongues 
 have been accustomed to imitate the sounds whicJi 
 have been addressed to them by the ^' tweet ittle 
 baby's own bessed mudder." 
 
 The German diminutive is the " my dear fellow" of 
 the language ; it links you lovingly with the person or 
 the object. 
 
GERMAN COMPOUND WORDS. 227 
 
 The germinant qualities of the German language are 
 such as are possessed by scarcely any other. In Eng- 
 lish we cannot make two or more words grow into one. 
 We cannot inoculate one word with another so that 
 healthy sprouts spring from the parent stem, bearing 
 improved fruit. The English language is stiff and 
 stubborn ; like the oak and the reed in the fable, it 
 won't bend, but it is easily broken. The number of 
 words you can hitch on to each other, in German, 
 making one word, yet making sense too, is almost un- 
 limited. Take, for instance, the word " localdampfschiff- 
 fahrtsactiengesellschaft." Now, that seems funny to 
 us. It isn't so to the German ; he takes it all in good 
 part. The word is in itself compound, but in its sense 
 it is concrete. We make jokes of such words when we 
 see them, and people who are so "very funny and 
 original" make literal translations of them in their let- 
 ters home to their friends or to country newspapers. 
 Their country cousins laugh at them a good deal. And 
 yet some of these words are shorter than any we can 
 show for them. I give only the single instance of 
 '' Thierschutzverein," which is the same as " Society for 
 the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals." 
 
 Here is another German word quite in common use 
 in business, " Malzaufschlagruechverguetungsbetraege" 
 — "amounts of recompensation for taxes on malt." 
 Here another sample, " Hottentottenpotentatentanten- 
 attentat," which means " an attempt at assassination 
 of the aunt of a Hottentot potentate ;" and here is an- 
 other, which is on the sign of the offices of a steamboat 
 company in Lucerne : " Vierwaldstaetterseeschrauben- 
 dampferactienconcurrenzgesellschaftsbureaux." Now, 
 that word contains just seventy-one letters, and com- 
 prises all the letters of the alphabet with the excep- 
 tion of j, q, and y. That is really food for a smile. 
 
 In technical words, especially in chemistry, the sci- 
 entific gentlemen of other countries are not much be- 
 hindhand. We have " diparatolyldidiazophenilur," 
 " orthomonitrodiphenyldiacetylen," and " ethylenoto- 
 tramethyldiphenylphosphonium." I don't know what 
 they mean, and don't care; but they wore published in 
 
228 RESOUNDING TITLES. 
 
 an article in a late number of the Paris " Scientific 
 Eeview." 
 
 In the use of titles, as in the names of things, the 
 Germans are just as tenacious in making them express 
 all the functions of the person who bears them. I once 
 saw in one of the daily papers the announcement of the 
 death of Miss So and so, " Koeniglicherhoftheaterlam- 
 penauznendersassistententochter," — " royal court the- 
 atre lamplighter's assistant's daughter." 
 
 In the year 1844, during the reign of Henry the 
 Seventy-second of Eeuss-Schleiz-Greiz-Lobenstein- 
 Ebersdorf, there was issued a sovereign order that 
 every person in the land should be addressed by his 
 full title. A certain Hans Buetow had to appear at 
 court on a petty charge, and the sergeant called on him 
 by name to stand forth. The prisoner appeared to 
 take no notice of the summons. On being repeatedly 
 called on, and giving no answer, the judge, in despera- 
 tion, shouted out, "Are you deaf?" "No," said the 
 culprit, " but I demand to be called by my full title." 
 " Well, what is your title, then ?" " I am ^ provision- 
 ally appointed Eeuss-Schleiz-Greiz-Lobenstein-Ebers- 
 dorfer, assistant adjunct of the highway-cleaning de- 
 partment,' and if you leave out a syllable of my true 
 title you are liable to pay a fine of one thaler, accord- 
 ing to the most supreme command of his Highness the 
 Prince of Eeuss-Schleiz-Greiz-Lobenstein-Ebersdorf." 
 
 But this is enough for one lesson. 
 
 There was a Western chap, fresh from the budding 
 groves of Arcadia (wherever that may be), who came 
 to Munich, and brought all his hair with him. I mean, 
 he hadn't left any of it with any barbers on the way. 
 The length of his limbs was in proportion to the length 
 of his locks, but his tailor hadn't kept pace with his 
 growth, and his lower extremities looked like a race 
 between legs and trousers, in which legs always won. 
 He was young and ardent, and had great plans for the 
 future. His confidence in himself was something to 
 admire. His intention was to stay one year in Germany 
 
LEARNING FOUR LANGUAGES, 229 
 
 to learn German perfectly ; twelve calendar months in 
 Paris were to set him up au fait in French ; the next 
 year festive Italy was to receive him, and it was his 
 aspiration, and his intention too, to perfect himself 
 there in the '^lingua Toscana in bocca Bomana.'' The 
 last year was to be devoted to Spain and the Spanish, 
 and he was then going to return home to his native 
 grove and open an academy for young ladies, and teach 
 them the four principal modern languages of Continen- 
 tal Europe. He must have had a talent for languages. 
 The frisky way in which he played with his own Ar- 
 cadian tongue was sublime. He always spoke of mo- 
 lasses in the plural. Once, when he was very ill, he 
 had an uncontrollable desire for some of that sweet, 
 luscious syrup that would remind him of home and of 
 his boyhood. It was procured for him. I heard him 
 call out from his bed into the next room where his at- 
 tendant friend sat, " Charley, whar\s those molasses?" 
 His progress with the German language was not as 
 rapid as he had expected. He lingered on in Munich 
 for about three 3'ears, he got the fever, he got in debt, 
 and he got so far in the language that he was able to 
 call for a glass of beer unassisted, and at last he got 
 himself off, — he disappeared. I do not know what ever 
 became of him, but I am inclined to think that the 
 Arcadian young ladies are still uninstructed in the four 
 modern languages of Continental Europe. 
 
 On several occasions the director of one of the hos- 
 pitals in Southern Bavaria wrote to the consulate say- 
 ing that it had been obliged to take care of an Ameri- 
 can who had become ill, or met with an accident there, 
 that the patient had no money to pay for his admis- 
 sion and treatment, and that, therefore, he sent the bill 
 to the consulate. To those very cool demands I sent a 
 warm answer, pointing out that where the Bavarian 
 government had one poor sick American to take care 
 of we had thousands and thousands of sick and desti- 
 tute Germans thrust upon us^ and that wo provided for 
 them in our hospitals without considering as to their 
 nationality ; and in my letter I could not do better than 
 
 20 
 
230 UNITED STATES PENSIONERS ABROAD, 
 
 to quote the powerful and convincing arguments of one 
 of our ministers to Switzerland, the Hon. Theodore S. 
 Fay, who once wrote to the Swiss government to ex- 
 postulate on a similar occasion. 
 
 But the liberality of our government, of our State 
 and municipal institutions, and of our citizens is well 
 known and appreciated and extolled abroad. Every- 
 body knows with what lavish hand we have helped 
 the suffering people of all lands when terrible misfor- 
 tunes have befallen them. We know, on the occasion 
 of the inundations in Germany and Austria some years 
 ago, what sums we sent. 
 
 At the time of the Chicago fire about fifteen hundred 
 florins were raised in Munich among the Germans for 
 the sufferers. 
 
 The United States does not do things by halves. It 
 is not alone that we are liberal, but there is no narrow- 
 ness in our charity nor in our rewards. For instance, 
 with our pensions, it is always a matter of surprise 
 here that those who are entitled to a pension enjoy it 
 just the same whether they are living in the United 
 States or abroad. There are some twenty or twenty- 
 five United States pensioners living in Bavaria, who 
 come regularly to the consulate each quarter to have 
 their signatures to their vouchers verified, and whose 
 money is then sent out to them. One poor woman 
 who had lost a son in our war, after some difficulty in 
 proving to the satisfaction of the pension bureau that 
 she had been, in part, dependent on her son for support, 
 was granted a pension, and was paid for four outstand- 
 ing years. Her letter of thanks and her expressions 
 of reverence for the country that granted such a boon 
 to a foreigner were very touching. 
 
rOVNO AMERICANS ABROAD. 231 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 Bows among young Americans abroad — Good character of Americans in 
 Munich — Spree : " You are one jackass" — Row with soldiers ; pouring 
 beer on them — Strangers aggrieved by decision of courts — King Lud- 
 wig the Second — Scandals^ — Eccentric ways and doings — King a 
 musical enthusiast — Duties of present kings — Cost of keeping a king 
 — Not showing himself to the public — King's strict education — In- 
 fluence of Wagner's operas — The public to keep out of the king's way 
 — Trap-door arrangement with dining-table — Counsellor reading be- 
 hind a screen — Mr. Maynard, " will I see the king?" — The king in the 
 theatre — Separate performances — Row at the Odeon ; concert — Fire 
 apparatus at theatre — Real rain — His veneration of Louis XV. — Copy 
 of Versailles — Coming to and leaving Munich at night — The winter 
 garden — Opera singer falling into the lake — Fond of riding in his 
 youth — The wild horses of Macbeth — In the riding-school — Hunting- 
 lodges in the mountains — Princely chambers on the mountain pass — 
 Mimic stage — Moon out of order — Are all these things true ? — Character 
 of the king. 
 
 Where so many young men — mostly students — are 
 collected in a foreign city, it is quite natural that they 
 sometimes fall into trouble. At Munich such cases 
 were never of a serious character, and I am proud to 
 say that among the great number of young Americans 
 who sojourned in the city during my long stay there, 
 there was not one really disreputable character that I 
 know of. As a class they were well behaved, earnest 
 in their occupations, studious, and peaceable. Quarrels 
 among themselves were very rare, and they harmonized 
 with the many foreign elements with which they were 
 brought into association throughout. That now and 
 then, in the hilarity of some festive occasion, their 
 mirth had a loudness which was incompatible with the 
 views of the police in the matter, is easily to bo con- 
 doned. 
 
 On the adjournment of a New- Year's gathering, a 
 young American with a couple of his friends — when 
 the night had b}' some hours given place to the next 
 (lay, although still dark, and when most people prefer 
 to lie in quiet slumber — carried their merriment into 
 
232 YOUNG AMERICANS ABROAD, 
 
 the street with them. A couple of policemen attracted 
 by the noise went up to them and remonstrated with 
 them and ordered them to be more quiet, but, finding 
 their words had not the expected subduing effect, they 
 arrested them and attempted to take them to the sta- 
 tion-house. But the young people were too much for 
 them ; they quickly swung themselves loose and started 
 off on a run, and invited the police-ofiicers to follow 
 them and catch them. The guardians of the peace at- 
 tempted to comply with their wishes, but could only 
 carry out the first part of the invitation. They were 
 led on to a very complicated chase, for the young men 
 made sport of them, and urged them to come and take 
 them, and they allowed the officers to get quite close to 
 them, and then by sharp doubling they evaded their 
 grasp. It was only on a reinforcement of officers 
 coming round a corner that the fugitives were caught 
 and were then marched off to the police-oflSce. On ar- 
 riving there, the young American gave further vent to 
 his jocoseness by loudly hammering at the door and de- 
 manding to be admitted, for he wanted to prove to his 
 captors that he went there of his own accord and was 
 going to make himself at home there. On being taken 
 into the room of the officer on duty, a big, snuffy fellow 
 with a moustache like a boot-brush and an apoplectic 
 neck, and on the two original policemen making their 
 charge, the occurrence was written down by an elderly 
 secretary in spectacles. When the gentleman was 
 asked if he had anything to say for himself, he politely 
 explained that he was rather deficient in his German 
 and only had a few words at his command ; but he 
 rather astonished them with the little he did know. 
 Holding up his left hand with the fingers stretched 
 apart, he looked first at the original gens d'arme, and 
 doubling down his little finger with the forefinger of 
 his right hand, he said, slowly, " You are one jackass ;" 
 then eying the second and turning down the next finii;er 
 in the same way, he said, "You are one jackass." The 
 next finger was devoted to the secretary, to whom he 
 said, " You are one jackass," and as he turned down the 
 last finger he smiled pleasantly at the pompous old offi- 
 
YOUNG AMERICANS ABROAD. 233 
 
 cer behind the railing and said, " And you are one jack- 
 ass, — makes four jackas&es." Such conduct was en- 
 tirely too aggravating. He was locked up for what 
 yet remained of the night, or rather, morning, and 
 when the usual hour for the police trial of the cases 
 came on, he was sentenced to a fine of a few marks or 
 four days' arrest, — " One day for each jackass," as he 
 afterwards said. 
 
 A party of art students were having a jolly time at a 
 little tavern in the neighborhood of the city. They 
 were in a room in the second story and were amusing 
 themselves by singing student songs, mixed, perhaps, 
 with " nigger." One of the party wanting some fresh 
 beer, poured the remainder which was in his mug out 
 of the window. It happened that a number of soldiers 
 were sitting below, on a bench against the wall, and as 
 the beer descended on their Sunday uniforms, they sup- 
 posed it was purposely meant for their reception, but 
 they had great objections to taking it outwardly. 
 They rushed up to the room, and being double in num- 
 bers to those in possession of it, they soon cleared the 
 latter out of it and down-stairs, hurting some of them 
 considerably. 
 
 The students complained that they had been grossly 
 insulted and maltreated by the soldiers, without having 
 given them an}^ cause for provocation. When the affair 
 came to be investigated, it turned out that one of the 
 Americans (upon one of the soldiers coming up to him 
 to remonstrate with them for having beer thrown upon 
 him and his companions, and asking if it were done in- 
 tentionally) drew out his revolver as a suitable apology, 
 but fortunately did not fire it off, as it was knocked out 
 of his hand ; another pulled out a dirk. There ap- 
 peared to be a little wrong on both sides. The matter 
 was quietly settled, I believe, to the satisfaction of all 
 parties. 
 
 This affair happened before my time, and I have the 
 particulars only on hearsay. 
 
 I can think of no other rows (unless of the very 
 slightest kind) that occurred. 
 
 20^^ 
 
234 KING LUDWIO THE SECOND, 
 
 Strangers who are aggrieved by the decisions of 
 courts of law and other courts against them, always 
 think it the consul's business to right them against 
 such decision, and they complain that the ways of the 
 law in Europe are very different from the ways of the 
 law at home. It is hard to make such people under- 
 stand that only in case they can bring proof that they 
 were treated differently from natives by the courts on 
 account of being foreigne'l's, any intervention on the part 
 of our officers can take place. 
 
 It would be but an ungraceful act on the part of one 
 who had been officially set up in a foreign country, 
 fortified with the recommendations of the President to 
 the kind attentions of the ruler of that foreign country, 
 — introduced as it were to the house of a friend of one's 
 friend, — to abuse the hospitality of one from whom we 
 had received a hearty welcome, and to turn round, as 
 soon as we had left his house, and to relate for the 
 amusement of others the eccentric sayings and doings 
 of our host. 
 
 I went to Munich bearing the compliments of the 
 head of our nation to the head of the Bavarian king- 
 dom. In the consular commission, the President prays 
 His Majesty the King of Bavaria to "afford all proper 
 countenance and assistance" to the consul, and the 
 President offers '^ to do the same for all those who shall 
 in like manner be recommended to him by His said 
 Majesty." 
 
 It would be a breach of courtesy, as well towards my 
 own country as towards the one in which I sojourned, 
 were I to drag forward in these pages the string of 
 malicious scandals — alwa3^s attaching themselves to the 
 person or the court of a king — which, in the case of the 
 King of Bavaria, have had more than usual nourish- 
 ment from the circumstances of his romandc disposi- 
 tion and the impenetrable seclusion of his life.* 
 
 * I will only refer to one circumstance in this connection, because 
 gome newspaper writer incidentally brought the consul into his narrative. 
 In an article published in 1872 in some of our Western papers, and copied 
 into those of other cities which were short of news, the adventures of a 
 
A MUSICAL ENTHUSIAST. 235 
 
 But of some of the eccentric ways and doings of the 
 King of Bavaria there is really no reason for keeping 
 quiet, seeing they have been published in almost all 
 newspapers outside of Bavaria. Even Bavarians them- 
 selves, and the most loyal subjects of His Majesty, relate 
 quite openly many queer things about him. People 
 who are near his person, and those holding office under 
 him, people who are more or less distantly employed in 
 his service, are equally communicative on the subject. 
 These stories have mostly found their way into all our 
 newspapers. How often does one read paragraphs 
 headed " Royal Eccentricities'' or " Vagaries of the 
 King of Bavaria," — telling of some of his freaks or 
 of the curious machinery introduced into his many 
 palaces. His very intimate, former relations with 
 Kichard Wagner, and the manner in which they were 
 suddenly broken off, are known to all the world. Of 
 the perpetual moonlight in his bed-chamber at his 
 castle of Berg, on the Lake of Starnberg, most people 
 have read, and that he has private performances at 
 the royal opera-house and the royal residence theatre, 
 where he is the sole spectator, is also well known. 
 
 The king is a musical enthusiast, so the people say, 
 — an enthusiast of the music of the future. His prac- 
 tical ideas too, are, perhaps, more adopted to the future 
 than to the present, or, on the other hand, if we go 
 back two or three hundred years we shall find him 
 more in sympathy with those monarchs who believed 
 in the right divine to do just as they pleased, without 
 taking common mortals into consideration at all. At 
 the present day kings generally keep their crowns 
 under glass cases, and they are oftener seen off their 
 heads than on them, and in consequence of wearing 
 stove-pipe hats instead pf golden diadems, kings are 
 
 certain Mrs. Fanny Jordan, in her determination to gain the affections 
 of the king, are given in detail, headed with the largest and fattrst 
 capitals. It was then stated that she had letters of introdiu'tion to the 
 consul, which she presented to that functionary, and that by moans of 
 them she gained access to the highest aristocratic circles. It is scarcely 
 necessary to say that the whole statement is entirely false; 1 never saw 
 the person, and thus know nothing of such letters. 
 
236 DUTIES OF PRESENT KINGS, 
 
 reminded that they sometimes have to work too, just 
 like other people. Almost all the present monarchs of 
 Europe are determined to have something to show in 
 the way of performance on their part for the money 
 the people pay them, and they are desirous to prove 
 that their office is not a sinecure. The bluff old Ger- 
 man emperor is a man who goes in for doing his duty 
 thoroughly. He is as hard a worker as any man in 
 the realm, and the good example he sets is not without 
 its influence on his royal colleagues — with certain 
 exceptions. 
 
 The old superstition about kings is, that they 
 know perfectly well what they have got to do and 
 what they haven't got to do, and that it is no- 
 body's business to remind them of either the one or 
 the other. There are still some kings who reign by 
 divine right who stick to this theory, and the improve- 
 ments of the nineteenth century do not seem to have 
 affected the old-fashioned machinery of their minds in 
 this respect. People who have to pay for a king know 
 very well that they can't expect to be invited to the 
 palace very often, even to lunch, nor can the king be 
 expected to visit all his subjects regularly; the only 
 chances, then, that the general public has of seeing 
 royalty is in the streets, or at a review, or at the 
 theatre, or at a railway station, or at church. But 
 people are glad even for such glimpses of their beloved 
 monarch, and it is as little as a sovereign can do to 
 grant the populace this boon in return for the mag- 
 nificence and comfort in which he is permitted to live, 
 and which every man, woman, and child contributes 
 to.* In short, the people want the king to show him- 
 self. It has been thus from time immemorial, and it 
 will probably be so as long as kings exist. But in no 
 other country is there so much apparent loj'alty as in 
 
 ♦In Bavaria, each man, woman, and child of its 5,284,778 inhabiting 
 has to pay one mark (about twenty-five cents) for the support of the 
 king and other members of the royal family, the king receiving a salary 
 of 4,231,014 marks, — just a million of dollars. In the United States each 
 person pays less than one-tenth of a cent for the support of our Pres- 
 ident, so that each true Bavarian pays two hundred and fifty times as 
 much for keeping up royalty as we for keeping up republicanism. 
 
THE KINGS OF BAVARIA. 237 
 
 Bavaria. The kinoes of Bavaria have been accustomed 
 to mingle with their people. The first king of Bavaria, 
 Maximilian Joseph, was familiarly called ''Papa Max" 
 because he was really so fatherly towards his subjects. 
 He was daily seen among them ; he took an interest 
 in all their doings. His son, Ludwig the First, was 
 just as popular; he was on familiar terms with all 
 classes, and if he loved one class more than another, it 
 was the artists, — who were his chosen people. He 
 walked or drove out everyday, he attended the theatre 
 or the concert nearly every evening, and when carnival 
 came, the officers, or the artists, or the students, or 
 even the merchants did not consider their balls com- 
 plete unless the king came for an hour or two to share 
 their enjoyment. 
 
 King Maximilian, son of the former and father of 
 the present king, though a much more serious man 
 than old Ludwig, was not less sociable. He took his 
 almost daily walk in the city, attended only by his 
 adjutant, — often entirely alone. But even in plain 
 citizen dress (he only wore uniform on rare occasions) 
 he was known to everybody; every child knew him, 
 and his hat was certainly more in his hand than on his 
 head during all his walks and all his drives. He was 
 very simple in his habits and in his mode of life; his 
 tastes were more literary and scientific than otherwise, 
 and he was not a seeker after pleasure, yet he con- 
 sidered it part of his duty as king to attend public en- 
 tertainments with the queen at his side; he wanted 
 every one of his subjects to have a chance of seeing 
 him, — and besides, he was fond of seeing his people. 
 
 It comes hard, therefore, to the Bavarians when they 
 all at once get a king who doesn't show himself King 
 Maximilian died suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, and 
 liis young son Louis, a handsome, tall stripling with 
 waving hair and melancholy eyes, when he followed 
 his father's coffin with faltering steps, was already a 
 king. He was only eighteen years old, and the crown 
 tell upon him before he had seen anything of the great 
 outside life beyond the palace nursery walls. Ho had 
 no sisters, and only one brother, a boy some three years 
 
238 A ROVAL HERMIT. 
 
 younger than himself. These princes had been brought 
 up under the strictest discipline. They had had no 
 freedom whatever; great care was taken in their edu- 
 cation to keep them from all contact with evil, and 
 from a knowledge of the evil ways of the world. They 
 had to study hard, and incessantly, and, that their 
 brains might remain clear, they were kept on such 
 plain and low diet that as young children they often 
 begged of their governess (a lady who told me the cir- 
 cumstance herself) a piece of bread and cheese, — 
 because they were hungry. It is not surprising, there- 
 fore, that such a young man as the crown prince on 
 suddenly becoming not only his own master, but the 
 master of nearly five millions of people, should strike 
 out into eccentricities. But these did not take the 
 form of wildness. He did not sow his wild oats in 
 the gilded haunts and among the gay companions that 
 are to be found in every capital, nor in the dazzling 
 blaze of the court. On the contrary, he very soon 
 developed into a royal hermit. After the first year or 
 so of his reign he was seldom in his capital, but sought 
 refuge in his palaces in the country. There were too 
 few of these for him, and he commenced building new 
 ones, on a scale of the most lavish magnificence, in the 
 most romantic parts of his kingdom ; but in far-away 
 and almost inaccessible places. The first opera of 
 Wagner's he ever saw was "Lohengrin," and the mys- 
 terious appearance of the Knight of the Holy Gnail, on 
 his errand of love and justice, his short, rapturous 
 hours in the arms of his earthly bride, and his mys- 
 terious disappearance and return to the consecrated 
 halls of his fathers in unknown lands, were not without 
 effect on the mind of the poetically inclined youth, 
 and led him to plan the erection of the marvellous and 
 imposing castle of Hohenschwangan — high up in the 
 clouds. 
 
 He is now never more than two or three weeks 
 during the whole year in the city, and then keeps shut 
 up within his palace walls, or, at most, drives out in a 
 closed carriage, sitting back and hiding behind the cur- 
 tains so that he may not be seen. He would like best 
 
" COURT NEWS.'' 239 
 
 to have the city emptied of its inhabitants when he 
 goes out. 
 
 Under the head of " Court news" the Munich papers 
 of March, 1882, published the following paragraph : 
 **His Majesty the King takes his usual daily drives to 
 the English Garden between five and half-past five 
 o'clock in the afternoon. At a considerable distance 
 below the lake His Majesty leaves the carriage to take 
 half an hour's walk. As His Majesty does not wish to 
 be in any way disturbed, mounted policemen form a 
 cordon of several hundred paces around him to keep 
 all persons out of sight of His Majesty." That notice 
 was also meant to serve as a warning. When he is in 
 the country, nearly all the year round, he is almost 
 entirely alone, with only his servants about him, and 
 he would like to dispense with even these if it were 
 alwaj^s possible. 
 
 At one of his castles he has a trap-door arrangement 
 like that employed on the stage of a theatre. He enters 
 his dining-room alone, and locks the door after him. A 
 table is set for dinner containing the first course. When 
 His Majesty has partaken of this he touches a spring, and 
 the table, with all upon it, descends through the floor. 
 His Majesty, as it were, sits at the edge of a deep 
 abyss, but not long, for soon the table (another table) 
 rises again, bringing up with it the circular piece of 
 floor, thus making all level again, and lo! the table is 
 spread with the second course, and so the thing goes 
 on, course for course until the dinner is at last finished. 
 His Majesty is very fond of the delicacies of the table. 
 Next to music and solitude he likes good eating, it is 
 said. 
 
 The king, by thus humoring his humors, has got to 
 be quite shy of all mankind, and especially of all woman- 
 kind. He does not like to have people near him ; ho 
 wants every one to keep out of his road. He is quite 
 unapproachable except to some favored members of the 
 family, and then only when he is in the mood for see- 
 ing them. Even those officers he has of necessity to 
 confer with, he likes to have out of sight. His privy 
 councillor, who has to read to him the reports of the 
 
240 THE KINO AND THE THEATRE. 
 
 cabinet ministers, is obliged to stand behind a screen 
 whilst the king sits on the other side and verbally 
 makes his comments, and gives his answers and in- 
 structions. On the occasion of a long reading of this 
 kind, the functionary behind the screen probably got 
 very tired of standing, and, without making any pause 
 in his delivery, gradually sank down into a chair, 
 thinking no harm could be done, as neither the king 
 nor anybody else could possibly see him. The king 
 had sharp ears. He probably distinguished that the 
 voice was not on the same level as at the beginning. 
 He glanced round the screen. The privy councillor's 
 occupation was gone from that hour. 
 
 This peculiarity of the king — his not allowing any 
 one to get a sight of him — is so universally known, 
 that I was quite amused once by the freshness of one 
 of our ministers in alluding to him. When the late 
 Horace Maynard was appointed minister to Turkey, I 
 called on him at his hotel in Munich, as he was passing 
 through. He asked me what there was in the city 
 worth seeing. I gave him a list of all the sights, and 
 told him, among other things, he ought not to neglect 
 seeing the palace. He asked me what there was to be 
 seen there. I told him, — sumptuous apartments, golden 
 statues, mosaic floors, modern paintings, frescos, gal- 
 lery of beauties, etc. Then he turned to me, and said, 
 with childlike simplicity, " Then I suppose I'll see the 
 king there too, if I go there ?" as if the king were lying 
 around loose. I told him no, I was afraid not ; so he 
 thought it was not worth while going there. 
 
 His Majesty is fond of the stage, and especially of 
 Wagner's operas. At first he went verj^ often to the 
 theatre, and the people were always unaffectedly glad 
 when he honored the house with his presence, notwith- 
 standing his sitting half hidden in the royal court box 
 opposite the stage, whereas all the other kings had 
 used that only on great state occasions, and had always 
 preferred occupying their private proscenium-boxes in 
 full sight of the audience. In the course of a very few 
 years, however, he found that all he wanted was to 
 have people on the stage, but not in the boxes around 
 
THE KING AND THE THEATRE. 241 
 
 him, and above him, and below him, and he began to 
 have private performances for himself alone. There 
 was not a soul but himself in the vast auditorium. The 
 players played to a beggarly account of empty boxes, 
 — all but one, — but that was filled with majesty, and 
 majesty was enough to fill the whole theatre. These 
 performances mostly took place in the daytime, but it 
 was no unfrequent thing that after a play or an opera 
 had been given at night, and the audience had left the 
 building, it was commenced anew, or another piece 
 given which lasted till two or three o'clock in the 
 morning. Woe then to any employe, any usher who 
 happened to show himself in the body of the theatre. 
 It is related that on one such occasion the General In- 
 tendant, — as he is called, — that is, the royal head man- 
 ager of the royal theatres, was in his own seat near the 
 stage, fully concealed, as he supposed, by the little green 
 curtains of his darkened box. He merely sat there to 
 see that everything went on right. But the king got 
 a sight of him* By some mysterious sign given to one 
 of the officers of the royal household, who had to wait 
 in the anteroom adjoining the king's loge, the luckless 
 head manager was ordered out, and for several weeks 
 afterwards he trembled in his boots for fear of getting 
 his dismissal.* 
 
 Not only the performers, vocal, dramatic, and or- 
 chestral (who, it is said, are not at all brilliantly recom- 
 pensed for this extra work), have to suffer, but the 
 public, too, is sometimes put to annoyance, not to say 
 to real loss, in consequence of these separate perform- 
 ances. Some four years ago Liszt's oratorio of " Saint 
 Elizabeth" was given at the royal Odeon by the or- 
 chestra and singers of the royal opera. The beginning 
 
 * Even at Oberammergau, in 1870, a separate performance of the 
 whole play was given for the king. In I88i a separate performanco of 
 " Parsifal," which as yet has been nowhere given except at Hayrruth, 
 took place at the royal opera-house at Munich. The scenery and the 
 costumes were brought from Bayreuth, and the world-renowned singers 
 who took the parts theie were secured, charging roundly for their 
 Bervices. A couple of other operas were porforuicd by the same com- 
 pany before the king alone. It is said that each of these representations 
 cost forty thousand marks, — nearly ton thousand dollars. 
 L 7 21 
 
242 AN ASTOUNDED AUDIENCE, 
 
 was announced in all the papers and on all the bills at 
 seven o'clock. Fancy the consternation of the assem- 
 bling public in the cloak-room between half-past six and 
 seven to hear that the concert had already commenced. 
 But that was not the worst of it, for the doors of the 
 concert-room were closed, and according to the rules 
 of the house nobody could be allowed to go in to dis- 
 turb the others until the first part of the oratorio was 
 over. The crowd became denser in the anterooms; ex- 
 postulations and threats were all in vain : the doors 
 were barred against them. Some then attempted to 
 have their money refunded them, but it was with the 
 greatest difiiculty they could accomplish even that. 
 In almost any other city in the world the deluded pub- 
 lic would have forced its way into the concert-room, but 
 the Munich people, though giving vent to their rage in 
 vehement words, remained pretty passive, and waited 
 till the first part of the concert was over, and they were 
 then allowed to take their seats. 
 
 It came out afterwards that the king had, at the 
 last moment, set his heart on hearing Weber's opera of 
 "Oberon" that night, all by himself, and as the singers 
 and musicians who performed in the opera were the 
 same who performed at the concert, the hour of com- 
 mencing the latter had to be suddenly changed in order 
 to make the time come out right, and to give the 
 performers a few moments of breathing. Of course 
 the devoted head of the manager of the royal opera 
 had to receive all the objurgations of the public, and 
 the newspapers hauled him over the coals for not at 
 once postponing the concert altogether. Further than 
 that it was not permissible to make any comments. 
 
 There are few theatres where the apparatus for 
 guarding against or for extinguishing a fire is so com- 
 plete as at the Munich opera-house. Some ten or 
 twelve years ago a net-work of pipes, pierced with in- 
 numerable small holes, was laid high up above all the 
 flies and galleries, so that by opening a cock the water 
 pours down like a heavy thunder-shower over the 
 whole stage, thus effectually saturating all the scenery 
 that may be hanging in the stage-house at the time. 
 
REAL RAIN. 243 
 
 At one of the "separate performances" a piece was 
 given in which a sudden pour of rain takes place. The 
 actors, in such cases, usually pretend to get very wet, 
 and one often sees a follow wringing out his cloak to 
 make the illusion more convincing. The king, how- 
 ever, did not want any pasteboard water this time ; it 
 struck him that one ought to make use of the new 
 extinguishing apparatus to provide real rain. It was 
 a park scene. The stage was laid out with real sod, 
 embellished with real flowers and trees, and now the 
 king wanted real water. Representations were made 
 to his majesty in as strong a form as one dared to do 
 it that such a plan was not feasible; that the costumes 
 would get spoiled ; that the scenery would get spoiled ; 
 and, in fact, that the damage the water might cause 
 was almost incalculable. AH this didn't mend the 
 matter : the king had set his mind on it and he must 
 have it. So there was nothing to be done but to turn 
 the cock. There was some shaking and trembling on 
 the stage before the water came, and there was more 
 shaking and trembling when it did come. The actors 
 had no umbrellas, because the piece was not a modern 
 piece, but represented a period before the introduction 
 of these liseful articles. The author might have left 
 out the superfluous words, '' Mon Dieu, how it pours!" 
 These were intended, of course, when the piece was 
 given with imaginar}^ rain, to call attention to the sit- 
 uation ; but there was no use for them now, for there 
 was no mistake about the wetness of things. The 
 reservoir at the top of the house was full, and the rain 
 came down in streams, splashing up again from the 
 stage into the orchestra. It is needless to say that the 
 damage to costumes and scenery which was predicted 
 was very great. Some of the magnificent scenery to 
 " William Tell," which had been painted by the best 
 artists from studies made in Switzerland in the locali- 
 ties where the scenes of the tragedy are laid (and which 
 had unfortunately been left hanging, from the previous 
 night's performance), were so spoiled that they required 
 months of repairing. The actors got the snuflles, and 
 were on the sick list for some time, and the stage and 
 
244 VENERATION FOR LOUIS XIV. 
 
 the machinery under it got so swollen that the traps 
 wouldn't work for weeks. There wasn't a ghost of a 
 chance of getting them open, and there wasn't a chance 
 for a ghost during all that time. Even Hamlet's father, 
 armed as he was "from top to toe — from crown to 
 sole," could not have fought his way through one of 
 those traps to astonish his moody son at midnight. 
 The repertoire had to be kept within the limits of 
 every-day existence ; there couldn't be any sudden and 
 mysterious disappearances, and even any too great 
 changing of scenes during a performance had to be 
 avoided, for there was a great groaning and creaking 
 of all the rollers when they were used until, after a 
 general oiling of all the pins and sockets, things got 
 back to their original state of dryness and dust again. 
 
 The piece in which this natural deluge took place 
 plays in the time of Louis XIV. of France. Several 
 such pieces have been written expressly for the king. 
 
 It is one of the peculiar, ununderstandable, and seem- 
 ingly contradictory characteristics of the king's mind 
 that, leaning, as he does, in his tastes to the legendary 
 heroes which have been Wagner's favorites, — clothed 
 with the nobility of high and chivalric virtues, — veiled 
 and softened in the mists of long-past ages, he should 
 also be an enthusiastic admirer of the Grand Monarque. 
 He interests himself deeply in the history of and in 
 all that concerns the French king. He venerates him, 
 and he imitates him, but only in his architecture, not 
 in his surroundings. The French monarch could not 
 be without his courtiers, and especially without his 
 ladies constantly around him. The Bavarian king 
 builds palaces on the plan of Versailles, but the gor- 
 geous halls are deserted ; no footstep falls in them ex- 
 cept that of the king.^ On the Lake of Chiem a palace 
 is now building which, if not quite so extensive, is 
 richer in its interior decorations, in the mass of costly 
 marbles, of carving and gilding, of silks and embroid- 
 eries, than even the renowned French original. The 
 king went to Versailles a couple of times, in the strict- 
 est incognito, of course, to make a personal study of the 
 building. He has court-suits the exact copies of those 
 
THE WINTER GARDEN. 245 
 
 worn by his royal prototype, and, when alone, he some- 
 times dons these and personates the great king of 
 France for his own delectation. 
 
 When His Majesty comes to town, and when he leaves 
 it, which is always at night, his special train halts a 
 few miles out — in the fields! — his carriage takes him 
 from and to the train. He does not want to have any 
 gaping spectators at the railway station. When in 
 town, he spends a good part of his time in his mag- 
 nificent winter garden on top of the palace. The 
 visitor to Munich will notice on the west wing 
 of the palace, facing the Hof Garden, an immense 
 vaulted roof of glass, which extends backwards, at 
 right angles, into one of the court-yards. This is the 
 new winter garden of the king, to distinguish it from 
 the old winter garden at the other end, adjoining, and 
 forming the royal entrance to the opera-house. It is 
 much higher than appears from the street, because 
 its foundations go deep down below the cornice of the 
 wall. It is a wonder in its way. It contains large 
 trees and the rarest of flowers and plants. There is a 
 lake in the centre, with machinery under the surface 
 of the water by which it is kept in motion as if 
 stirred by the wind, and to make it ripple against the 
 shore. There is also a high water-fall coming down 
 over natural rocks. When the garden was being built 
 1 saw the immense rocks as they were slowly hoisted 
 up to take their places there as if they had grown 
 there. They were, with great labor, hollowed out, 
 leaving only the outward shell, so as to make them 
 lighter. Big, gnarled trunks of forest-trees were also 
 hoisted up. At one end of the building, and closing 
 the vista, is a colossal painting by Professor Knab, a 
 former pupil of Piloty, representing a landscape in the 
 character of the Himalayan Mountains, and all the 
 plants at that end are of Asiatic origin. 
 
 With the exception of some one or two favored ones 
 of the royal family, and the gardeners who are obliged 
 to attend to it, not a soul is allowed to see this bit of 
 fairy-land. The strictest orders are issued — and the 
 people know what they are to expect if they disobey 
 
 21* 
 
246 THE KING AS A HORSEMAN. 
 
 orders — that on no pretence is any one to be admitted. 
 And so it is with all the other palaces of the king. 
 Only the workmen who are engaged in the building of 
 them, and a few servants, ever get a chance of seeing 
 them. 
 
 In the early part of the reign, soon after the finish- 
 ing of the new winter garden, there was one exception 
 to excluded mortals. It w^as an operatic lady. She 
 was engaged to sit up on a high rock and sing. She 
 began to imagine she had found favor in the eyes of the 
 young king. She sometimes sang in the boat on the 
 lake, while His Majesty paced up and down on the op- 
 posite shore. She probably wanted to bring things to 
 a climax ; so one day she left her moorings and put out 
 into the lake, to cross it. She went boating on her own 
 hook, singing all the time. Perhaps, not being such 
 an adept with the sculls as with the scales, she upset 
 herself into the water. The king did not rush in to her 
 rescue, as might have been expected (and, perhaps, as 
 was expected), but, knowing that the water was not 
 very deep, he signalled to one of his lackeys to fish the 
 lady out, while he walked quietly away, not to be a 
 spectator of the discomposure of her toilet caused by 
 her ducking. The lad}^ afterwards confined her aquatic 
 performances to swimming around in the painted waters 
 of Eheingold. 
 
 In his youth the king was passionately fond of rid- 
 ing ; in the early evening he was frequently to be seen 
 emerging from the palace gate mounted on a fine, 
 black, Arabian stallion, and cantering towards the Eng- 
 lish Garden. He w^ore a small Hungarian hat with 
 turned-up brim, and with long black ribbons floating 
 out over his profuse, curling, black locks. He had a 
 Bweet and winning expression of countenance. His 
 youthful figure was well proportioned, and his move- 
 ments were full of grace. With the increase of 3'ears 
 and of flesh comes the desire to sit quietly behind the 
 horse rather than on top of him. The king was a fine 
 horseman, and he took the wildest rides in the wildest 
 roads among the mountains. Following his solitary 
 bent, he rode only in parts of the country where he 
 
A CURIOUS EXPEDIENT. 247 
 
 was sure of meeting scarcely any people. He is a 
 great lover of horses, and of course owns a magnificent 
 stable ; he admires them with the eye of an artist, — he 
 admires their fine forms, their power, their spirit, and 
 the grace of their uncurbed actions. Perhaps it was 
 the allusion to the wild horses in *' Macbeth" that once 
 induced him to keep a whole stable full of the choicest 
 steeds from all exercise for several days, well fed with 
 oats, and then to have them turned out, unbridled, into 
 a large enclosure, where he could witness their gambols, 
 their tearing around, and their rolling in the grass. 
 
 When he came to town he wanted to ride too, but 
 there were too many people in the neighborhood of 
 the city ; they were in his road. He hit upon a curious 
 expedient. He had all his favorite rides measured out. 
 After the opera (this was at the time he still attended 
 the public performances) he would go to the riding 
 arena attached to the royal stables (an immense build- 
 ing with a lofty roof; the ground covered with tan) 
 and mount his horse. This building had also been 
 carefully measured, and so and so many times round 
 represented the distance from certain places in the 
 countr}^ to others. His adjutant was his sole com- 
 panion, and had to be his groom also, but he had still 
 other parts to perform, as we shall see. His Majesty 
 rode furiously down along the wall, across the end, up 
 the other side, and over at a right angle down again, 
 and so on and on. His adjutant stood back with a note- 
 book in his hand and carefully wrote down the number 
 of times the king had performed the circuit of the 
 building. When His Majesty had got round, say, three 
 hundred and seventeen times, his adjutant would step 
 forward and tell him he had now arrived at such and 
 such a place, upon which His Majesty would rein in, 
 salute the oflficcr as Herr Wirth (landlord), comment 
 on the weather and the state of the roads, call for a 
 glass of beer, which the obsequious adjutant biought 
 him, mount a fresh horse, say good-by, and then gal- 
 lop off again. At the end of, sa}^, four hundred and 
 twenty-three rounds, the king was at some other place, 
 when he would again halt. The same ceremony was 
 
248 ON THE MOUNTAIN-PASS. 
 
 gone through with again, including the beer, the re- 
 marks on the weather, — perhaps, for the sake of variety, 
 with some observations on the crops, — and so the thing 
 went on, — often till three or four o'clock in the 
 morning. 
 
 At present, the king takes less kindly to the saddle, 
 and prefers a luxurious carriage. 
 
 On the tops of many of the mountains are little hunt- 
 ing-lodges, containingonly one or two rooms, but these 
 magnificently furnished and decorated. No ordinary 
 carriage can reach them, but the king has had little 
 cars made, something like a jumper on wheels, or like 
 a Eoman chariot turned front side back. There is room 
 for but one person, and the body of this curious look- 
 ing two-wheeled scoop almost touches the ground. 
 Four or six horses are hitched, tandem fashion, and 
 mounted by postilions, and thus the burly person of 
 the king is hoisted up to these almost inaccessible 
 places. He then spends the night there, — sometimes 
 he remains for two or three days, all alone, wrapped 
 up in the clouds and in the contemplation of nature. 
 Sailing over the smooth bosom of Lake Kochel, one can 
 see, high up at the very top of the Herzogenstand, a 
 little excrescence which seems to be as big as a cigar- 
 box ; and that is one of the king's hunting-lodges. 
 
 At a high pass near the boundary of Austria stood an 
 out-of-the-way tavern. It was built on a projecting 
 rock, the sides of which go down perpendicularly, like 
 a wall, some five or six hundred feet. The road winds 
 round a narrow ledge, on the other side of which rises 
 a breast of fir-covered woodland reaching to the clouds. 
 The place is very lonely and the scenery is wild and 
 grand ; so it just suited the king. He at once bought 
 the house and had it transformed into a couple of 
 princely chambers, which now glitter with gold. Walls, 
 ceilings, and floors were made at Munich, and were put 
 together when they reached their destination. One 
 room is hung with crimson silk, the ceiling and all the 
 wood- work being in white and gold, the other is hung 
 with light blue satin with white and silver. They are 
 both luxuriously furnished. His Majesty keeps the 
 
MIMIC STAGE. 249 
 
 keys ; he generallj^ chooses the winter, when everything 
 is covered with snow, to visit this place. The day be- 
 fore a proposed visit servants are sent to put every- 
 thing in order, to prepare food, and to stand guard 
 when the king is within to keep off possible prying eyes 
 and listening ears. 
 
 When night comes on, and all nature is enveloped 
 in darkness, the king is driven up to this high pass 
 in his sleigh, — the horses covered with magnificent 
 trappings (which can be seen in summer-time at the 
 royal saddle-chamber at Munich). The king is muf- 
 fled up in furs, but when he emerges from them to 
 step into his apartments, lo, he is apparelled in the 
 magnificent costume of Louis the Fourteenth. It is 
 not known what he does there. His shadow has been 
 seen at the window overlooking the valley by persons 
 afar off. It is supposed he is up all night, and that 
 when the first streak of the late morning twilight 
 appears, he throws himself on a lounge and sleeps 
 through the short winter day. On the second night, 
 when darkness comes again, he glides into his sleigh, 
 and is furiously driven back to his nearest castle, the 
 horses charging along at the top of their speed over 
 the winding and hilly road. 
 
 I have several times mentioned the kinc^'s fondness 
 for, and admiration of, Wagner's works. But it is not 
 on the real stage alone that he sees them performed, — 
 he performs them himself, — he is orchestra and stage- 
 manager together, and his dramatis personce are — 
 puppets. A model of the Munich stage and prosce- 
 nium was made for him, complete in every part, with 
 all the traps and machinery, foot-lights and prompter's 
 box. The scenery was painted by the same artists that 
 produced the original scenes for the onera-houso. The 
 heroes of this toy stage are mute. They don't make 
 a noise, but then they are jointed, and can be placed 
 in any position. There is a separate figure for each 
 of the principal personages in all the operas, and hun- 
 dreds of others for the chorus. Under the directions 
 of the artistic director of the royal opera, or costumer, 
 as we would call him, a complete stage wardrobe was 
 
250 MOON OUT OF ORDER. 
 
 made for all these little people. The king will some- 
 times go through one of the operas from beginning to 
 end, playing the music upon the piano, — on which 
 instrument he is a skilled performer, — standing up his 
 wooden subjects or knocking them down, as the situ- 
 ation demands. 
 
 When he is tired, he goes to his moon-lighted cham- 
 ber to seek repose. The machinery of this moon was 
 made by the former stage-carpenter of the opera-house. 
 One night there was a catastrophe, — the moon wouldn't 
 shine; there was something the matter with it, and 
 the feeble attempts of the head man at the palace to 
 tinker it up were resisted by the now sheenless orb. 
 His Majesty could not sleep without the moon. There 
 was no such thing in the programme as an eclipse, so 
 the people were at their wits' ends to know what was 
 to be done. But the king knew. He ordered the 
 unlucky stage-carpenter to be fetched at once from 
 Munich. It was telegraphed across the lake to have a 
 special train in readiness; and it was telegraphed to 
 Munich to have a carriage waiting at the station. The 
 king's private steamboat^ which is always heated up, 
 proceeded across the lake bearing the messenger. He 
 jumped into the train at Starnberg, and rushed on to 
 Munich ; he took the carriage there, and was rapidly 
 driven to the house of the inventor of the moon. At 
 dead of night the poor man was roused from his slum- 
 bers by a violent ringing at his bell. It was natural 
 for him to think the house was on fire, but what was 
 his consternation to learn that he must at once proceed 
 to Berg to repair the moon. He dressed himself as 
 quickly as possible, was driven to the station, was 
 carried to Starnberg, thence across the lake to the 
 castle, and in scarcely more than an hour's time he 
 had reached the moon. He was the only man that 
 understood it, and he was soon able to make it shine 
 again, — and the king was able to sleep. It is unneces- 
 sary to say that the head machinist of the royal 
 opera-house didn't get much sloep that night ; it took 
 him several days to get over his fright. 
 
CHARACTER OF THE KING. 251 
 
 Are all these things true ? I cannot vouch for them ; 
 I relate them as I have often heard them related by 
 persons who had the means of knowing about them ; 
 they are anecdotes quite in common circulation. 
 
 Notwithstanding these eccentricities of character, it 
 must not be supposed that the present king of Bavaria 
 is a weak-minded monarch. Although he keeps aloof 
 from all personal intercourse with his royal colleagues, 
 and although he seemingly devotes all his time to his 
 own personal pursuits, he nevertheless neglects no 
 business of state. When it has been necessary for him 
 to give a decision in grave matters, he has displayed 
 wisdom and intelligence, and rare powers of discern- 
 ment, and quickness in grasping the subject. In what- 
 ever he does, politically, he hits the nail on the head. 
 He has shown himself strong enough not to be in- 
 fluenced by the Eoman party which tried to control 
 him, and has stoutly resisted all their wiles. He has 
 secured freedom of conscience to his people. 
 
 When the war broke out with France, he fearlessly 
 did his duty. He at once sent out his army in the 
 cause of united Germany against the power that had 
 always sought to weaken it. The welfare of the com- 
 mon Fatherland was dearer to him than the artificial 
 independence of a small monarchy; he sacrificed per- 
 sonal vanity in being the first to advocate that the 
 king of Prussia should be proclaimed German emperor, 
 and in the treaties after the war he secured for Bavaria 
 an honorable and exalted station in the confederation 
 of states that now form the empire. His dynasty is 
 secured to him, and there is no reason to apprehend 
 that the house of Wittelsbach, which has been reigning 
 for over seven hundred years, will be deprived of its 
 throne as long as Germany remains — a monarchical 
 power. 
 
252 LUDWIQ THE FIRST. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Ludwig the First — The maker of modern Munich — Lola Montez — Her 
 house in the Barer Strasse — History of Lola — First appearance in Mu- 
 nich — Title of nobility — Personal appearance — Her portrait — Her am- 
 bition — The students — Stabbing scene — Order to close the university 
 — Affairs on the 10th of February — The students ordered to leave 
 Munich — Police attack at the Academy — Resolutions of the citizens — 
 Audience of the king — Students declare they will not leave the city — 
 Demonstrations against the house of Lola — Affairs on the 11th of 
 February — Concessions of the king — Lola ordered to leave town — Ar- 
 rival of the king — Lola tries to get back to the palace — Abdication of 
 the king — Lola's subsequent career and death — King Ludwig after his 
 abdication — His jealousy of Maximilian — His free and easy manners — 
 His witticisms at a concert. 
 
 Louis the First, the grandfather of the present king, 
 was the maker of modern Munich. His capital, when 
 he came to the throne, was but a small and unimpor- 
 tant place. It had not kept pace with the improve- 
 ments in other cities. It contained many art-treasures, 
 it is true, for the Wittelsbachers had always been 
 patrons of the arts, but the collections were mostly 
 locked up in the palaces, and were not easily accessible 
 to the public. Besides interesting remains of the middle 
 ages, it had many fine buildings of the Eenaissance 
 period ; but they were little known to travellers, for 
 Munich was an out-of-the-way sort of a place, and was 
 visited by few tourists. The king, who, as crown 
 prince, had spent a great part of his time in Ital}'' and 
 Greece, had acquired a love for classic art. He was 
 very saving — having but few personal wants — and was 
 able to build the Glyptothek before he came to the 
 throne. When his father, Maximilian Joseph, the first 
 king of Bavaria,* died in 1825, he at once sought to 
 make Munich the great centre of art for all Germany. 
 The Art Academy had been founded by his father some 
 years before. Louis called the most prominent artists 
 of the day — architects, painters, and sculptors — to Mu- 
 
 * Bavaria was raised from an electorate to a kingdom by the first 
 Napoleon. 
 
THE MAKER OF MODERN MUNICH, 253 
 
 Tiich, and he at once gave them employment. What- 
 ever he had seen abroad that pleased him he wanted 
 to have reproduced at Munich. His tastes were poet- 
 ical, but not altogether practical. He built churches 
 and palaces and temples in which to house the art- 
 treasures of the kingdom, — magnificent halls and tri- 
 umphal arches, but they were all put up in dreary, 
 waste places, broiling in the sun, or standing bleak and 
 lonely under the lowering skies, with the cold moun- 
 tain winds beating around them. They were like gems 
 without any setting, — like pictures without frames. In 
 dry weather, clouds of dust encircled them; when it 
 rained, they stood in a morass and were nearly unap- 
 proachable. There were no paved streets nor sidewalks 
 leading to them. He left for his successors to do what 
 was useful. The great boon of having a supply of 
 wholesome water for the town he never thought of. 
 He copied so many of the buildings of Greece and 
 Italy, he ought to have commenced by copying the 
 Eoman aqueducts. Of all his great works, the realiza- 
 tion of Charlemagne's idea of connecting the Danube 
 with the Ehine b}^ the building of the Ludwig's Canal 
 (1836 to 1845), is the only one that is of a purely busi- 
 ness character. 
 
 Although many of King Ludwig's buildings, like his 
 doings, have been severely criticised, yet the beautiful 
 and interesting city of Munich of the present day has 
 to thank him for what it has become. 
 
 As one walks out the Barer Strasse towards the 
 Pinakothek, not very far from that building, and on 
 the left-hand side of the street. No. 19, stands an un- 
 pretentious three-story house, which has nothing to 
 distinguish it outwardly, in importance, from the other 
 houses near it. In its present form it is much larger 
 than it originally was. When first built, it was a sim- 
 ple two-stoiy house without any wings. An iron gate 
 on cither side gave entrance both to the house and to 
 the garden beyond, which was very extensive, — quite a 
 little park, having grand old trees in it and luxuriant 
 shrubbery, and adorned with fountains and statues 
 
 22 
 
254 LOLA MONTEZ, 
 
 and grottos. It was surrounded by other gardens, — for 
 the cit}" at that time did not extend that far, — so that 
 the house itself was a suburban villa, just near enough 
 to the city to form a part of it, yet detached from the 
 rows of contiguous houses, thus having the neighbors 
 not all too near. But if the house was plain on the 
 outside and of very moderate dimensions, the interior 
 was said to contain wonders : it was a very fairy-land 
 of splendor. It got to be gossiped about that enormous 
 sums of money had been spent in making this mansion 
 a marvel of magnificence, such as had never been seen 
 except in the imagination of the Eastern story-teller 
 who has so vividly described the riches of Aladdin^s 
 palace. 
 
 It was said that gold and precious stones glittered 
 on every side; that the walls w^ere hung with the 
 richest silks of India interwoven with thread of gold, 
 or were painted wMth n^^mphs and cupids framed in 
 with mosaics of the rarest marbles. Crystal and 
 mother-of-pearl, lapis lazuli and malachite were scat- 
 tered on all sides in the most dazzling combinations of 
 colors. Gorgeous draperies from the looms of Paris 
 and Persian carpets soft as down, and princely fur- 
 niture, gave comfort and luxuriance such as no Pompa- 
 dour, no Maintenon, no Du Barry had ever indulged 
 in. The air was perfumed with the breath of the most 
 exquisite of exotic plants and fruits and flowers, and 
 a rainbow-tinted light shed its lustre over all. 
 
 The truth is, the lower, or ground floor, the one 
 connecting with the garden, was fitted up and furnished 
 in Pompeiian style, the walls and <}eilings painted in 
 those glowing colors and with those graceful and deli- 
 cate designs, which, even transplanted to the rougher 
 climate of Munich, must have had a peculiar charm and 
 gorgeous eff*ect. The upper rooms were filled with 
 everything that royal means and royal taste could pro- 
 cure to make the apartments such as a royal guest 
 could revel in. 
 
 The royal hand that created this little paradise was 
 that of King Louis the First of Bavaria, — but still, he 
 was only a guest iIkmv. The hostess was Lola Montez. 
 
LOLA MONTEZ. 255 
 
 It is very hard to get at the truth concerning the 
 birth and parentage and antecedents of this peculiar 
 person, whose career was certainly one of the most 
 romantic of modern times. According to some ac- 
 counts, she was born at Montrose, in Scotland, accord- 
 ing to others at Limerick, or at Seville, in Spain, about 
 the year 1820. She appears to have been the illegiti- 
 mate daughter of an Irishman or Scotchman by the 
 name of Gilbert. It is probable that her mother, after 
 marrying the Carlist officer by the name of Montez, 
 who, however, was soon after killed, gave her daughter 
 his family name to bear. She was called Maria Dolores 
 Peris y Montez, or Lola, for short, which is the familiar 
 Spanish abbreviation of Dolores. She received her first 
 education from her mother, and was afterwards sent to 
 a school at Bath. While still quite young, she secretly 
 married an officer by the name of James, but soon left 
 him, after having accompanied him to India. She 
 made extensive travels in that country, but at the end 
 of a few years she returned to England. She went 
 upon the stage as a dancer, and went through some 
 strange adventures in Paris and Brussels. 
 
 In 1846 she came to Munich and danced at the royal 
 opera-house. But not long. She soon attracted the 
 attention of the king. He took her from the stage and 
 planted her in those snug quarters in the Barer Strasse. 
 She lived there like a princess. The king gave her 
 everything her heart could wish for. He gave her that 
 beautiful house, he gave her horses and carriages, ho 
 gave her liveried servants, he gave her rare and costly 
 presents, and he gave her a title of nobility. This 
 latter, however, not without difficulty. The ministry 
 was strongly ultramontane. The minister-president 
 thought to gain the support of the nobility and of the 
 rest of the ro^-al family — who, of course, viewed this 
 spectacle of royal attachment to a dancer with jealousy 
 and repugnance — by protesting openly against such an 
 act as the inoculating so light-inoraled atui light-i'oolod 
 a stranger with the blue blood of Jkivaria. The minister 
 predicted that a revolution would take place if the act 
 were consuinnuited. But the king feared the bright 
 
256 LOLA MONTEZ. 
 
 eyes of Lola more than he feared his minister, or even 
 the prospect of a revolution. He was up to the emer- 
 gency. He dismissed his entire cabinet, or, as he ex- 
 pressed it in his own royal words, he " kicked out the 
 whole set of them." 
 
 With the formation of the new cabinet, Lola was 
 soon known as the Countess of Landsfeld. She was 
 not considered handsome, but she had a vivacity of ex- 
 pression that gave her irresistible charms. She was 
 still a young woman. She had large, lustrous black 
 eyes, with long, drooping lashes, and a wealth of wavy, 
 raven hair, that was almost purple in its blackness. 
 When excited, her thin nostrils dilated, and her eyes 
 shot fire, and the color burst into her otherwise pale 
 cheeks : her olive complexion was all aglow. In figure 
 she was of medium height, and slender. Until about 
 twenty years ago her portrait, painted by Stieler, formed 
 one of the collection of beauties which King Ludwig 
 ordered, and which cover the walls of two of the rooms 
 of the new palace at Munich. It was certainly one of 
 the most interesting of them alh King Maximilian, at 
 last, had it removed, because the public, in viewing it, 
 were apt to make unpleasant remarks concerning his 
 father ; out of respect for the latter and for his own 
 family, Maximilian, although he owed his premature 
 ascent to the throne to that woman, thought it better 
 — disregarding all rules of symmetry — to have a blank 
 space at one end of the wall than to have it covered 
 with that portrait. For a long time the square on the 
 red silk hanging, which had preserved its original color 
 under the picture, while all the exposed parts of the 
 tapestry had became bleached to a pinkish gray, 
 naturally led strangers to inquire what picture was 
 wanting. Some years ago all the pictures were re- 
 hung, so as not to leave an empty space. 
 
 It is not to be wondered at that a woman like Lola, 
 in the prime of her years, bright, witty, with a pas- 
 sionate nature, and possessing great command of lan- 
 guage, and who could be irresistibly winning in her 
 manners when there was anything to be won, should 
 soon gain the confidence of a monarch who not only 
 
LOLA MONTEZ, 257 
 
 admired everything that had a spice of poetical mys- 
 tery in it, but who also fully appreciated natural grace, 
 intelligence, and piquancy in others, — for he himself 
 was gifted with all these qualities. 
 
 Lola, not satisfied with possessing the friendship of 
 the king, who was her almost daily visitor, sought to 
 make her influence felt in another field than that of ad- 
 miration. She wished to take the reins of courtly in- 
 trigue and of royal favor into her own hands, as other 
 charmers had done with other Louises. That, even at 
 the very start of her career in Bavaria, she was able to 
 upset the cabinet, could not fail to give her courage to 
 attempt still greater things. She succeeded in a man- 
 ner, and her growing power began to be more and 
 more feared. Her house became a kind of intelligence- 
 office for supplying servants of the state with good po- 
 sitions. With a deal of cunning, she especially sought 
 to fill the high offices of the police department with her 
 creatures, for she knew that a time might come when 
 she would want their assistance. 
 
 Lola was very fond of the old king, who was now in 
 his sixty-second year, but she had room in her large 
 heart for younger lovers too. There were certain 
 students at the university who became her favorites ; 
 who were happy to bask in the light of her coun- 
 tenance, to smoke prime Havana cigars, in which she, 
 in Spanish fashion, joined them, and to drink the iced 
 champagne from the royal cellars. These students 
 formed themselves into a corps or society, calling them- 
 selves the " AUemania." In the language of the popu- 
 lace they were known as the "Lolianers." These peo- 
 ple, sunning themselves in the reflected rays of royalty, 
 or enjoying the kingly presence by proxy, soon made 
 things too warm for the less distinguished, students, 
 whose shoulders got very cold by contrast. The whole 
 corporation of students refused to associate in any 
 manner with the Allemanians, they were bent on com- 
 pletely ostracizing them. 
 
 The Allemanians held their social meetings at Cafe 
 Eothmanncr, at the entrance of the court garden (the 
 present Cafe Denglor). On the 8th of February, 1848, 
 r 2'2^ 
 
258 LOLA MONTEZ, 
 
 on two of the^AUemanians showing themselves at a 
 lecture at the university, the other students in a body 
 rose from their seats and left the lecture-room. This 
 had happened several times before. The professor tried 
 his utmost to urge them quietly to remain, but his 
 words were not listened to. The class collected on the 
 outside of the building, and when the two AUemanians 
 left it, they followed them down the Ludwig's Strasse 
 as far as the cafe, giving vent to hisses and groans of 
 the most unmistakable character. 
 
 The next day the thing was repeated, when one of 
 the AUemanians, just as he was about entering the 
 cafe suddenly turned, and, drawing his dirk, attacked 
 and severely wounded one of the unoffending (?) stu- 
 dents. The knight of the knife took refuge in the 
 cafe, which was surrounded by a crowd of threatening 
 students and others, but policemen being near, as they 
 always are at that point, called others to their assistance, 
 and with their bayonets kept off the crowd, which 
 loudly demanded the arrest of the offender. 
 
 At this crisis, Lola Montez, who was taking her cus- 
 tumary noonday promenade, came down the Ludwig's 
 Strasse attended by a couple of her proteges. It was 
 noticed that they were seemingly expostulating with 
 her not to proceed farther towards the crowd. But 
 she was determined, and walked on. When she got 
 near the cafe she asked some bystander what the 
 matter was. She was immediately recognized, and the 
 crowd in its rage setting upon her, she quickly tried 
 to take refuge in the house of one of the nobility close 
 by. But the door was closed against her ; she had 
 again to face the crowd, and had a hard time in manag- 
 ing to get into the adjoining Church of the Theatines, 
 which is just opposite the palace, and near the cafe in 
 front of which the stabbing had taken place. Al- 
 though a great stream of people had followed her into 
 the church, yet the sanctity of the building was re- 
 spected, and no further harm was offered her there. 
 The crowd partially left the spot. Others who had not 
 seen where Lola had taken refuge made a demonstra- 
 tion at the police headquarters farther down the street, 
 
LOLA MONTEZ. 259 
 
 for it was supposed by them that she had taken refuge 
 in that building. When a suitable opportunity offered, 
 Lola was escorted by a posse of mounted police-officers 
 across the street to the palace. She was still threatened 
 by the mob, and on the way she drew a pistol, which, 
 it appears, she always carried about her, but fortunately 
 she made no use of it. She was wild in her depreca- 
 tions of Munich and of its inhabitants, and she was 
 heard to say, in French, that it would be no great pity 
 to burn down the whole nest (meaning the city). 
 
 On the afternoon of the same day the king sent an 
 order to the rector of the university to close the same 
 at once, and to keep it closed for the rest of that term, 
 — till the next October. The rector stoutly contended 
 that the king had no right to give such an order, — that 
 he was mixing himself in affairs that did not concern 
 him, and over which he could have no control, — that 
 he, the rector, was at the head of that institution, and 
 that he would not give up his authority even for a 
 king. Fearing, however, that a scene of riot and blood- 
 shed might ensue, — for he knew that the students 
 would fight on the side of alma mater, — he finally closed 
 the iron gates and had a proclamation posted up that 
 the university would not be opened until October. 
 
 During the rest of the day and night the streets were 
 patrolled by the military. The Barer Strasse was oc- 
 cupied by soldiers at each opening, and the house of 
 Lola was strongly guarded by the police. 
 
 On the 10th, the next day, things began to assume a 
 still more threatening aspect. The notice of the closing 
 of the university was not the only one that was posted 
 on its gates, but there was also a proclamation accom- 
 panying it, that by royal order the students must leave 
 the city by Saturday, the 12th of February, only the 
 next day but one after. Although this cruel and un- 
 justifiable command primarily affected the students 
 themselves, yet there were others who would greatly 
 suffer thereby if the order were carried into execution, 
 — the great army of tradesmen, shop-keepers, and letters 
 of lodgings, who would certainly be the losers by this 
 decamping of a thousand men who were in their debt ; 
 
260 LOLA MONTEZ. 
 
 they at once went over to the side of the students, and 
 joint resolutions were at once passed. The citizens 
 were to assemble at one o'clock at the town-hall, the 
 students at about the same time in front of the univer- 
 sity. The students did not at first pretend to any op- 
 position to the order to leave the city at the appointed 
 time. They marched down to the Academy (which 
 was at that time the seat of the Ministry of the Inte- 
 rior) to take a formal leave of the minister. Prince 
 Wallerstein, singing on the way "Gaudeamus igitur." 
 A company of policemen approached from one of the 
 neighboring streets. The captain may have thought 
 this demonstration of the students to be revolutionary; 
 at any rate he made a charge upon them with fixed bay- 
 onets, and, it is said, made a personal assault on one of 
 the students who was standing in the door-way of the 
 Academy, wounding him with his sword. The students 
 were not armed, and several of them were hurt. 
 
 The citizens, meanwhile, had assembled at the court- 
 house, and there demanded that the mayor should head 
 a deputation to confer with the king, and to compel 
 him to rescind the order for the closing of the univer- 
 sity, and to have the captain of the police who had 
 made his unwarranted charge upon the students con- 
 summately punished, to command that Lola must im- 
 mediately leave the kingdom, and that the Allemanians 
 must be disbanded. The mayor advocated asking an 
 audience of the king merely for himself and one or two 
 of the citizens, and proposed that the others should 
 quietly disperse. But the good citizens were not to be 
 put off in this manner, and remained firm in their de- 
 termination to march in a body to the palace, and to 
 await in the open square in front the decision of the 
 king. The mayor, being compelled to acquiesce, pro- 
 ceeded to the royal residence to ask at what hour the 
 king would receive the deputation, and, after a long 
 delay, was obliged to return to the court-house to an- 
 nounce to the impatient citizens that the king was not 
 in his palace. But this royal "not at home'* was no 
 more believed in than when private persons put off 
 unwelcome visitors with that conventional lie. As the 
 
LOLA MONTEZ. 261 
 
 crowd meant business, it was determined to go on and 
 burrow out majesty at any risk. The mayor and the 
 city council got themselves into their official court-rig, 
 with cocked hat and sword and golden-striped breeches. 
 They rode to the palace, the concourse of citizens fol- 
 lowing in good order behind. The latter filled the Max 
 Joseph's Place, crowding up the broad steps of the 
 royal opera-house and the long colonnade of the post- 
 office. The approaches to the palace were guarded by 
 infantrj^ and cavalry. 
 
 The deputation was presented to the king by his 
 brother, Prince Luitpold, who earnestly urged him to 
 comply with the public wish. The king at first stormed 
 around, saying he would rather lose his life than take 
 back his royal word in regard to the closing of the 
 university, but, becoming by degrees more quiet, he 
 said he must at least confer with his privy councillors 
 and his ministers, and that his decision would then be 
 made known to them. The crowd returned to the 
 court-house to await the turn of events, and it was late 
 in the evening that the king's answer came, — that he 
 was willing to have the university reopened after 
 Easter. But this was not satisfactory, and the citi- 
 zens, after indulging in threatening remarks against 
 the privy councillor who had brought them the infor- 
 mation (and who was suspected of having influenced 
 the king), told him to go back to his master and to 
 report that it was the determination of the citizens 
 to press the matter to an issue, and that they would 
 reassemble at the town-hall early the next morning to 
 take further steps. 
 
 While these things were transpiring at the palace 
 and at the town-hall, the students had declared at their 
 meeting that they would not leave the city as ordered 
 to do by royal decree. 
 
 A demonstration was made against the house of Lola 
 that night, but the approaches being well guarded by 
 mounted policemen, no great damage was done, though 
 bricks and stones, and other missiles less savory were 
 freely used by the crowd. At the same time others 
 had gone to the police headquarters to make an attack 
 
262 LOLA MONTEZ. 
 
 on that building. The gens d'armes several times 
 tried to make a sally, but were always driven back by 
 the shower of paving-stones which had been torn up 
 from the street. The captain who had made the 
 charge on the students in the afternoon was not to be 
 seen. In this street fight many persons were, of 
 course, severely wounded, but none fatally. It was 
 only on the appearance of a large body of military 
 coming up from the Marien Platz that the enraged 
 crowd was dispersed and the tumult quelled. This 
 was the state of things on the night of the 10th of 
 February. 
 
 The royal opera-house was very empty that night, 
 but still the king had the courage to attend the per- 
 formance, remaining during the first act. 
 
 Besides the attacks upon Lola's house and the police 
 headquarters, there were demonstrations against the 
 gens d'armes made at every point: wherever they 
 showed themselves they were assailed with stones and 
 brickbats. 
 
 On Friday, the 11th, the citizens again assembled at 
 the town-hall at eight o'clock, and resolved to send an- 
 other deputation to the king, to demand that the uni- 
 versity be opened on the following Monday, and that 
 Lola, who had been the cause of all the trouble, be im- 
 mediately ordered out of the city, — she must not only 
 leave Munich, but she must leave Bavaria at once. 
 The students, meanwhile, met at the university to 
 await the issue of the conference with the king. The 
 iron gates had been opened to them, and they inter- 
 preted this as a certain concession to their rights. 
 They were no longer locked out from the build- 
 ing. They remained quite orderly, watching out for 
 the first appearance of the citizens on their return 
 from the palace. When these at last came, they 
 brought the news that the king had given in to them 
 on all points. 
 
 Loud cheers now went up for the king. Students 
 and citizens joined with each other and marched in 
 procession down the Ludwig's Strasse and past the 
 royal residence. 
 
LOLA MONTEZ. 263 
 
 It had been rumored through the city that Lola had 
 been ordered to leave Munich within an hour, and 
 Bavaria within twenty-four hours. 
 
 A crowd assembled before her house, making loud 
 demonstrations of anger against her, which soon turned 
 into attempts at actual violence. The mounted police, 
 who were guarding the house, did their best to prevent 
 the excited mob from getting near the gates, but not- 
 withstanding, a large body, by a decisive rush, pushed 
 on to the entrances and made a show of battering down 
 the bars and bolts. At this moment, Lola, who had not 
 had much time for making her toilet, appeared on the 
 balcony, a pistol in each hand, and swore to shoot down 
 the first man that touched the gates. Almost at the 
 same instant the king came up to the scene of action 
 and tried to appease the crowd. He had an eye to his 
 property, too, for he cried out loudly, " That is my 
 house ; that is my house ; it doesn't belong to her. Be 
 quiet, my dear friends, and all will go well ; the count- 
 ess will leave the city at once. Make room that she may 
 be able to drive out." The royal words had their effect 
 on the crowd, for the king was very popular ; he had 
 always lived on such an easy and accessible footing 
 with his subjects that his person and his voice were 
 familiar to them all, and when the mob now saw him 
 and heard his earnest entreaties, it drew back instinc- 
 tively from the approaches to the house. Lola, too, 
 appeared to be somewhat reassured by the appearance 
 of the king. She immediately withdrew from the 
 balcony, and it was not long before the gates were 
 thrown open and the Countess of Landsfeld, in an open 
 barouche, drove out, stately and perfectly self-possessed. 
 There had been no time for leave-taking with her royal 
 lover, but, with a woman's smartness, she thought she 
 saw through the whole thing; she saw that the king's 
 presence and his pacifying words were merely a ruse 
 to delude the public, and that the true interpretation 
 thereof was that she should simply make a pretence 
 of leaving the city. She drove ofr, therefore, at full 
 gallop, and was soon out of sight, but when she got far 
 beyond the city she made a dash over towards the 
 
264 LOLA MONTEZ. 
 
 English Garden and then drove back to the royal 
 palace, which she attempted to enter by the back door. 
 She supposed the king would keep her in hiding there 
 till the storm had blown over. But here she was 
 mistaken ; everything was closed against her, and the 
 royal commands were not to let her in. Her eyes 
 were now opened to the fact that her little game in 
 Munich was at an end. There was nothing left for her 
 but to fly. The horses were again spurred on, and her 
 carriage rattled out at the Sendlinger gate, taking the 
 road to Hesselohe; at night she cut across the country 
 to Pasing; she there took the train, and had soon left 
 Bavaria behind her. 
 
 The events of these few February days in Munich 
 were the precursors of those more serious ones which 
 took place in March. It was the time when all parts 
 of Germany were shaken with revolutions against 
 monarchical power. The King of Bavaria did not 
 escape from the troubles of this general movement. 
 The populace demanded great constitutional conces- 
 sions at his hand, which he was loath to comply with, 
 although the queen, on her knees, begged him to give 
 in to the just desires of the people. He was stubborn, 
 — the events of the past few weeks had soured his 
 disposition towards the public, and he could not bear 
 to be dictated to by it. He therefore preferred 
 abdicating the throne in favor of his eldest son 
 Maximilian, which he did, on the 20th of March, 1848. 
 
 The person who had been the cause of the disturb- 
 ances in Munich was also well known in America, 
 and this may excuse my writing at length about what 
 was only an episode of local Bavarian history. Lola 
 figured in the United States as a dancer and as a 
 lecturer. It was her former relations with the King 
 of Bavaria that gave a romantic tinge to her career 
 and drew more public attention to her than would 
 otherwise have been the case. 
 
 After leaving Bavaria she went first to England, and 
 there married a young officer by the name of Heald ; 
 but ho soon deserted her. 
 
 She died in New York in 1861. Her last days were 
 
KING LUDWIG AFTER HIS ABDICATION. 265 
 
 spent in retirement, she living on a pittance of a friend 
 who had known her in her childhood at Montrose. 
 
 I am told that in America the subject of one of her 
 lectures was " Female charms and female virtue." 
 Lola possessed the one and knew a good deal about the 
 other, presumably. She adverted freely to her life 
 and doings in Munich, spoke in high terms of the king, 
 and innocently alluded to him as Mr. Wittelsbach. 
 
 All her royal surroundings had fled. 
 
 KingLudwig, after he had laid down the sceptre and 
 the sword, and hung up the ermine and the crown, lived 
 the life of a private gentleman. Not being longer bur- 
 dened with the management of state affairs, he could 
 devote his life to his pleasures. He enjoyed this for a 
 time, but when the political troubles had cleared away 
 and things got into their ordinary ruts again, he always 
 afterward viewed his son's position with something of 
 envy and jealousy. A sort of estrangement crept in 
 between father and son ; they only met when the 
 rules of etiquette strictly required it. At the theatre, 
 Maximilian sat in his proscenium-box to the right, the 
 old king in his proscenium-box to the left, as far apart 
 as possible. When they went to the public balls, they 
 generally kept to the opposite ends of the room. At 
 the concerts, a row of arm-chairs for the royal family 
 were placed in front of the platform and heading all 
 the other seats. At one end of the line sat the king; 
 at the other end, his father. During the pauses it was 
 their custom to walk around the room to converse 
 with such of the audience as they were acquainted 
 with. The king went up one side, the old gentleman 
 up the other side ; when they met at the top they 
 dodged each other in courtly manner, and then con- 
 tinued their promenade until each had finished the 
 circuit. 
 
 Old Ludwig was very free and easy in his manners, 
 — it assisted his popularity, he thought. He was gos- 
 sipy, too, and liked to know all that was going on in 
 all circles of the community. He would often stop 
 people on the street and chat with them about their 
 M 23 
 
266 WITTICISMS AT A CONCERT, 
 
 own affairs and the affairs of their neighbors. One of 
 his greatest delights was to see people embarrassed, and 
 as he gave full liberty to his tongue and was not over- 
 fine in his consideration for the feelings of others, he 
 managed often to bring a blush to the cheeks of those 
 he addressed and to make them feel extremely un- 
 comfortable. Then he chuckled at his success. Being 
 rather deaf, too, and especially when he didn't want to 
 hear, he habitually spoke in a loud voice which could 
 be heard by all in his neighborhood; even his whispers 
 were very much like those on the stage. 
 
 At one of the Odeon concerts, when the two kings 
 were about to make their customary circuit of the hall, 
 I happened to be standing under the colonnade to the 
 right. When the old king started from his chair the 
 first person his eyes rested upon was an immensely fat 
 lady, — such as one seldom sees, except for money. All 
 at that end of the hall rose, of course, as the king rose. 
 The lady belonged to one of the wealthier families, 
 for her ample bosom supported a number of diamonds, 
 and she was addressed as baroness. 
 
 "Well, well," said the king in his usual brusque 
 manner, "dear me, — how do you do, baroness, — haven't 
 seen you for a long time, — you're looking very well, 
 though." 
 
 "Yes," said the lady, trying to make as graceful a 
 courtesy as possible, " as your Majesty sees." 
 
 "Yes, yes, — I see, — getting fatter from day to day; 
 if you don't look out, you'll soon be so stout that you 
 won't be able to bow to me at all any more." 
 
 A general titter. The king moved on. The dia- 
 monds around the lady's neck were resting on a bed 
 of crimson that shot straight out through all the 
 powder. 
 
 Just in front of me stood a young Austrian officer. 
 The king came up to him. "VVhat's your name, sir, 
 what's your name ?" " So and so, your Majesty." 
 
 " Ah, ah," said the king, " much pleased, much pleased, 
 — knew your father well, — jolly fellow, — glad to know 
 his son. But tell me" (this in one of his stage whis- 
 pers), "who are those young ladies?" — pointing slj'ly 
 
THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY, 267 
 
 towards a couple of very slim and shy-looking girls 
 close by. 
 
 " Please, your Majesty, those are cousins of mine," 
 returned the officer; "may I introduce them?" 
 
 The king put his hand to his mouth and continued 
 his whisper, which, however, could be heard by all 
 that were near, "You must tell them not to lace so 
 tight, — it's not good for the health, — not good for the 
 health." 
 
 And the king passed on. Such were the kingly 
 words I heard that evening. 
 
 The foregoing are but mild examples of the king's 
 unrestrained conversational style. The equivocal re- 
 marks he often made, the smart replies he gave, the 
 questions he asked and the quibs he perpetrated are 
 told over by hundreds of people who heard them, but 
 many of these witticisms are of such a character that, 
 although his majesty may have thought them suitable 
 for the occasions which called them forth, and for his 
 own royal lips to utter, are certainly not suitable for 
 these fair pages. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 The Centennial Fourth of July — Our mode of celebrating Fourth of 
 July — The Centennial — Art of decorating by Munich artists — Paris 
 Exhibition of 1867 — Nothing but flags — Flowers — Decorations at Hotel 
 Dctzer — The speeches — Conclusion of the celebration — American Ar- 
 tists' Club — Conundrums — Puns and sayings. 
 
 The "heathen Chinee" has taught us several things, 
 — which we give him due credit for. Ho claims to 
 have been before us by many thounands of years in 
 other things which we fondly imagine we ourselves 
 had discovered and invented. Be that as it may, ho 
 certainly taught us how to eclcbrato the Fourth of 
 July. Wc have been faithful to him in this res|)ect 
 ever since we have had a Fourth of July, though there 
 
268 THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY. 
 
 are many thoughtful people now who begin to preach 
 that we ought to find out some more original way of 
 giving vent to our patriotic feelings than in the present 
 explosive and sulphurous manner. However well fire- 
 crackers and other detonating instruments of joy of a 
 larger and noisier calibre may do for us at home, it is 
 evident that in foreign places, when our great national 
 festival comes round, we are obliged to adopt a dif- 
 ferent form for its celebration. In the cities of Europe, 
 wherever two or three Americans are met and as- 
 sembled together, the festivities generally take the 
 form of a dinner or supper, where the popping of cham- 
 pagne corks supplies the necessary shooting for the 
 occasion. 
 
 The Americans at Munich never allow a Fourth of 
 July to pass without notice, and as the artists generally 
 take the thing in hand, there is always something in 
 the spirit in which it is done, and in the festive decora- 
 tions that accompany it, that give these celebrations a 
 distinctive and original character. 
 
 The Centennial Fourth of July was something which 
 each man instinctively felt he was only likely to take 
 part in once in his life. It was not a determination 
 alone, — it was an inmate impulse which actuated the 
 American artists to do their best and their worthiest 
 for the great event. There were thousands of other 
 celebrations of the day, celebrations attended with 
 more pomp, with more noise, with greater display of 
 oratoiy, and, withal, with more expense, but I am sure 
 there was none where the enthusiasm was greater or 
 where the artistic embellishments were finer or more 
 appropriate than at Munich. It is of these that I wish 
 particularly to speak. 
 
 I doubt whether there are many places where the 
 art of decorating buildings internally or externally 
 and streets and public squares for festive occasions is 
 better understood than at Munich. The Munich artists 
 are celebrated for their taste, their genius, their inven- 
 tiveness in this respect. They convert the barest hall 
 into an ephemeral fairy-land. They make use of 
 forest-trees, artificial rocks, plants and flowers, dra- 
 
THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY, 269 
 
 peries of rich stuffs, statues, and paintings, improvised 
 architectural bits, combining all into voluptuous group- 
 ings of gorgeous colors and graceful forms. They are 
 not stinting of gold ; and after all, gold is the most 
 beautiful of all colors; it harmonizes with and height- 
 ens the effect of everything with which it is brought 
 into contact, — it catches the light and transplants it to 
 distant places, and it sparkles there like dew-drops on 
 flowers. Gold gladdens the heart of man, — its very 
 shimmer suggests joy and gayety. The Munich artists 
 have the knack of making the most deceptive imita- 
 tions of old Gobelins, of building up groups of statuary 
 and immense vases with bits of canvas over a form of 
 straw, and moulding directly with the plaster ; out of 
 the most humble and unsuspected of materials they 
 make arms and armor and emblems of all kinds, and 
 for performances and processions they even make ani- 
 mals — elephants, camels, and dragons — which are as- 
 tonishingly natural in their appearance and in their 
 movements. 
 
 It will be remembered that at the International Ex- 
 hibition of Paris in 1867 the Munich artists decorated 
 their hall in which their paintings were exhibited in 
 such a manner as to eclipse all the other halls of the 
 art department in richness and beauty, and to call forth 
 universal admiration, and especially of the French 
 themselves, and that is saying a great deal. When 
 the triumphant German troops returned to their gar- 
 risons after the eventful war of 1870-71, it was ad- 
 mitted that the street decorations of Munich far sur- 
 passed those of Berlin both in splendor and in taste. 
 The services of the Munich artists are called in requisi- 
 tion where decorations for any festive occasion arc to 
 be made, at other places too. 
 
 In America we are somewhat limited in our idea of 
 festive decoration. 
 
 It would be rank heresy not to say that our flag is 
 the most beautiful one in the world ; apart from our 
 patriotic reverence for the " broad stripes and bright 
 stars," we see in its undulations as it floats in the breeze 
 chasing gleams of color which are in themsolvos boau- 
 
 23* 
 
270 THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY. 
 
 tiful. "When the light falls through the bunting its 
 rich hues are softened into harmonious blendings. Yes, 
 our flag is always beautiful! but, for decorating pur- 
 poses, do we not make just a little too much of it? 
 Whether the occasion is a patriotic one or a scientific 
 one, or a musical one or a religious one, our flag is 
 there by hundreds of dozens, — big flags and little flags 
 — flags strung across lines, like clothes to dry — flags 
 with their sticks crossed and flags stuck up straight — 
 or flags gathered up by the hands of the upholsterer 
 into pleats and flounces, gored and biassed, and flags 
 stretched across platforms and along galleries — flags 
 hung straight over balconies, like aprons — flags used 
 as curtains, and flags used as table-covers. Perhaps 
 we add a few strings of evergreen slung from one un- 
 eonstructional part of the building to another, making 
 what we call festoons. They are generally of the 
 same thickness throughout, like sausages; and like 
 sausages are hitched up at the end with a string. We 
 wind some creeping plants around the chandeliers and 
 hang up some Chinese lanterns, — and we are about at 
 an end. 
 
 But then there are the flowers, — which I have for- 
 gotten ; oh, yes, the flowers. But what are our ideas 
 about flowers ? Our ideas are that to make any efl'ect 
 we must have them in profusion, — by the cart-load. It 
 is the boast of entertainers, whether public or private, 
 that the flowers alone cost so and so many hundreds 
 of dollars. We must let the expense of the thing speak 
 for our good intentions. We plaster flowers on the 
 walls or on the banisters of the staircase, or we torture 
 them into eccentric groups which we call emblems. 
 The poor flowers are skewered on wires like the early 
 Christians were empaled ; the iron is forced through 
 their tender hearts, and they are slowly bleeding to 
 death while we are dancing or feeding in the midst of 
 them. We all know the mushy, incongruous forms 
 into which they are wrought. If the occasion is a 
 wedding, there hangs the huge clump of whiteness 
 which our fancy defines as the "marriage bell," and 
 under which the happy pair have to stand while the 
 
THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY, 271 
 
 ceremony is going on. Why we should select the 
 bell as an emblem (if even the flowery monster only 
 looked like one) I am at a loss to understand. I sup- 
 pose a bell rings seldomer for a marriage than it does 
 for anything else, — and then there are so many other 
 kinds of bells besides church bells : there are the fire 
 bell and the locomotive bell, the steamboat bell and the 
 factory bell, and scores of others that clapper for like 
 every-day purposes. The poetry of bells has pretty 
 much faded out since the time when Schiller wrote his 
 grand ode. Then besides, we have cushions and books 
 and other meaningless objects simulated with crowded 
 flowers with all the breath crushed out of them by 
 being so jammed together. 
 
 At funerals the thing is almost even worse; the 
 coffin is heaped up with crosses and stars and crowns 
 and anchors and hearts, all done in the rarest and 
 costliest of white flowers, and yet we know the poor 
 fellow within was neither a monarch — to wear a 
 crown, nor a sailor — to have use for an anchor, nor a 
 butcher — accustomed to the ripping out of hearts. 
 
 In respect to festive decorating the American artists 
 at Munich have profited by the example set them by 
 their German brothers there, and on the occasion of 
 which I am speaking, their cunning hands transformed 
 the fine dining-hall of Hotel Detzer into a scene of 
 marvellous brilliancy and magnificence. Entering the 
 room from the low Eenaissance corridor leading to it, 
 *' One stood in amazement in the midst of beauty in 
 every form," as one of the reporters aptly said in the 
 newspaper account of it. The table was set in horse- 
 shoe form, with the opening towards the entrance, 
 thus permitting one before taking one's seat to have a 
 full survey of the whole. The first object which struck 
 the eye was a colossal bust of ''America" in tinted 
 plaster, standing out in soft relief against a back- 
 ground of rich old velvet, at the centre of the head 
 wall; an immense buff*alo-hido covered the pedestal, 
 sweeping down in dark, slTaggy folds to the floor. A 
 peculiar luminousness was thus given to the head, in 
 
272 THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY, 
 
 which a subtle blending of the Indian type with a 
 classic conception of outline, pose, and expression, 
 stamped it as a work of noble and earnest art. A 
 stern repose of feature — a majesty of countenance — 
 gave it the look of a seeress, — a prophetess. Those 
 calm, large, searching eyes seemed to be piercing the 
 glorious centuries which our nation has before it. 
 Picturesqueness was given to the whole design by the 
 simple and well-arranged drapery over the breast and 
 the flowing lines of the hair. This bust was the work 
 of Mr. Frank Dengler, a young artist of great promise. 
 It was almost his last work. Eeturning soon afterwards 
 to Boston, he died there a few months after his arrival. 
 
 The pictorial decorations consisted of large canvases 
 upwards of ten feet in height, and varying in width to 
 suit the wall spaces between the pilasters. Framed in 
 by the architecture of the room, they lost all seeming 
 of being only temporary adornments. 
 
 On either side of the bust just mentioned were paint- 
 ings by Duveneck, who even at that time was noted for 
 his bold handling and forcible color. They were alle- 
 gorical embodiments of the Goddess of Liberty. On 
 the left she appeared as a fair, heaven-descending 
 figure in the first blush of maidenhood. She floats 
 over the sea ; the soft brightness of morning is break- 
 ing forth at the horizon; the beams of the new-born 
 sun stream upwards over her form and her features, 
 sufi^using her in iridescent light. Her pale drapery 
 rustles in the breeze as she slowly descends; a 
 sword is in her right hand, and with her left, out- 
 stretched above her head, she draws down from the 
 sky the new flag, whose tints seem to be taking grad- 
 ual form and substance from the pure ether above and 
 the rosy vapors around. 
 
 On the right, she was depicted as a strong, nobly- 
 developed woman (the America of to-day), standing 
 firmly on the land with the upraised laurel wreath of 
 victory in her hand, — a figure of remarkable vigor 
 both in drawing and in tone. 
 
 The left wall was given to Mr. Walter Shirlow. He 
 chose "North" and "South" for his subject. His twa 
 
THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY. 273 
 
 canvases were the largest of all, and he had room on 
 them to give extended typical pictures of Northern and 
 Southern life, framed in with arabesques containing, in 
 cunning vignettes, episodes of the characteristic pur- 
 suits and manners of the two great sections of our 
 country. The scroll-work being painted in transparent 
 colors on a gold ground, the effect was extremely rich 
 and lustrous. On the centre-piece of the one canvas a 
 couple of cotton steamers on the Mississippi come 
 struggling along through the water, steering away 
 from the dangerous snags in the foreground, — a twi- 
 light scene; on the other a locomotive is pulling a 
 train through the wild scenery of the Eocky Moun- 
 tains; it is just stopping at a night-station. The daz- 
 zling glare of the head-light illumines the track in front, 
 while behind the moon is fighting its way through 
 stormy clouds. 
 
 The centre-piece on the opposite wall was the work 
 of Mr. Frederick P. Vinton, of Boston. It was a 
 graceful acknowledgment of the hospitalities extended 
 to American artists by the Munich Academy, and was 
 expressed by amusing combinations of the arms and 
 attributes of Eavaria and the United States. " The 
 little monk, or * Munich child,' as he is called, whose 
 quaint little form is used as the Munich symbol, is 
 seen standing on a beer-barrel, extending the hospi- 
 tality of the city to America by offering her a glass of 
 the famous beer, which she smilingly takes." Far in 
 the dim distance were seen the pepper-box towers of 
 the Cathedral, and beyond them the snow-capped Alps 
 that half encircle the city. This painting was very 
 popular with the guests, for all present could under- 
 stand and appreciate its spirit to the full. 
 
 " On either side of this were canvases which must 
 have tried the skill of the artist, in composition, to the 
 utmost. They were of the same height as the other 
 decorations, but the architectural divisions of the room 
 limited their width to about eighteen inches, — an 
 awkward form, which the artist by skilful treatment 
 made to appear not only original but exceedingly 
 agreeable. Upon these were depicted scenes from the 
 
274 THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY. 
 
 beginning and close of the century. One represented 
 a small band of our New England fathers walking 
 armed through the pine forest on a dull November 
 day, perhaps on their way to church. In the fore- 
 ground lurked a solitary Indian. It told well the story 
 of the life and danger of our fathers in the more ex- 
 posed frontier during the century before the founding 
 of the republic. The other represented a street of an 
 American city — perhaps the Centennial City — on the 
 one hundredth birthday of the nation. I need not de- 
 scribe it. It brought vividly to our minds the joyous 
 old celebrations of our boyhood. The flags and fire- 
 crackers were all there. The artist, William M. Chase, 
 proved in these and his other two decorations what his 
 friends all acknowledged before, — the universality of 
 his genius." 
 
 A single silk flag with its staff planted in a huge 
 mound of moss and ferns and flowers, and with rich, 
 dark foliage behind it, filled out the corner near the 
 arch opening into the anteroom, where the platform 
 for the musicians was built up. The decorations thus 
 far were all stamped with a national character, as be- 
 fitting the occasion which was celebrated. The great 
 majority of the participants of the feast being artists, 
 it was meet that some of the emblems should have 
 reference to their particular calling. Mr. Vinton's 
 painting formed, so to speak, the connecting link be- 
 tween patriotism and art, and Mr. Chase gave full em- 
 bodiment to the spirit of art by gracing the remaining 
 wall with two panels, "Painting" and "Sculpture," 
 which "caused much merriment, and were greatly ad- 
 mired for their fine color and treatment. Both in the 
 * painting' and the ^sculpture' we find the artist a 
 chubby little nudity in distress. In one he has slipped 
 upon a huge palette, and fallen upon his back into 
 great heaps of color, and the remains of Prussian blue 
 and red upon a certain rosy place mark the spot where 
 must have been the first point of contact. In the other 
 we discover an enraged little sculptor throwing cla}^ at 
 a bust, which turns away its face in agony. They were 
 painted upon gold and lighted up finely." 
 
THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY, 275 
 
 An immense bronzed punch-bowl three feet in diam- 
 eter, modelled by Frank Dengler and E. Keyser, of Bal- 
 timore, rich in figurative design, completed the decora- 
 tions. But this latter was more than a mere decoration. 
 Standing on a pedestal covered with gold brocade and 
 old velvet looped up with garlands of fruit, and with 
 all the attributes of a bacchanalian feast heaped around 
 it, a large orange-tree bending over it from behind with 
 the rich-colored fruit gleaming through the green, a 
 block of ice peeping out from the capacious bowl, with 
 a battery of bottles and pyramids of sugar, half covered 
 with flowers at its base, it formed a picture of still life 
 equal in attractiveness to any of the others. 
 
 The names of our artists (now so well known) who 
 furnished the decorations, and who also took charge 
 of putting them up, vouch for the brilliant manner in 
 which everything was done. 
 
 The elaborate menu cards, in brown and gold, as well 
 as the invitation cards, were the work of Mr. Walter 
 Shirlow. 
 
 Over sixty gentlemen took part in the festivities, 
 and enjoyed the excellent dinner from the famous 
 kitchen of Detzer. After the usual toasts, appro- 
 priate speeches were made by Professor E. P. Evans, 
 by Mr. Vinton, and by Colonel J. M. Wilson, at 
 that time United States consul at Nuremberg, and by 
 others. It was expected of me that I should do some- 
 thing in the speechifying way, too; so, knowing that 
 others would do full justice to the patriotic character 
 of the feast, I tried to say something connected with 
 and suggested by the works of art around us, and with 
 reference to the artistic ingredients of the assembly to 
 whom we were indebted for all we enjoj^ed. When the 
 bell of the Cathedral, just above us, had solemnly tolled 
 twelve I gave vent ('' fully unprepared," of course) to 
 the following effusion : 
 
 Throughout our cherished land this golden day, 
 In festive gatherings, with joyful tone, 
 
 Columbia's sons their eager tribute pay 
 
 To Liberty's first century, come — and gone. 
 
276 THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY. 
 
 Just heaven fosters what is great and good ; 
 
 The radiant maid that erst stepped on our shore 
 Has budded now to luscious womanhood, 
 
 Her charms enhanced as each year passes o*er. 
 
 Our humble offerings at her feet we lay, 
 And deem her present, — our exalted guest, 
 
 Forgetful of the stormy, weary way 
 
 That parts us from the land we love the best. 
 
 But we are parted only by the tide 
 
 That bore us from our brethren, for I ween 
 
 In spirit we were with them, side by side, 
 
 Though twenty oceans rolled their waves between. 
 
 Our shores, our homes shall hear that we this day, 
 Sojourners in a far but friendly land. 
 
 Are no less fervent in our joy than they 
 
 Who 'neath our starry banner's rustling stand. 
 
 A hundred years are passed, — a volume one 
 
 Of that great work, whose spreading leaves extend 
 
 Across a continent ; it was begun 
 
 Midst strife and gloom, but glorious is the end. 
 
 How fair the picture offered to our view ! 
 
 Its glowing colors strong and pure and bright; 
 Its tones harmonious, and to nature true. 
 
 Illumined by the western sun's broad light. 
 
 And here I am reminded that I speak 
 
 To artist friends, and \o\ing fn'enda of art/ 
 
 For such, no pompous phrases need I seek ; 
 
 Those words are best that best reflect the heart. 
 
 Need I then pardon crave if I adapt 
 
 The terms which painters in their converse use 
 
 To clothe my homely thoughts ? — The mountains wrapt 
 In sunny haze, their stony roughness lose. 
 
 On the broad bosom of a new-found land 
 Our patriot fathers the first outline drew 
 
 Of the great picture which a century's hand 
 Has now completed, — open to our view. 
 
 With telling strokes the figures were drawn in. 
 And bold and vigorous was the pencil's mark; 
 
 The first conception midst the battle's din 
 
 Was made, when all around seemed bleak and stark. 
 
 But 'twas a composition well conceived. 
 
 Well balanced in its mass of light and shade, 
 
 Its heroes modelled well, and well relieved 
 
 By the dark background which oppression made. 
 
THE CENTENNIAL FOURTH OF JULY, 277 
 
 The first great care was, that the drawing true 
 
 And perfect in all parts should be, before 
 They took the brush in hand, for well they knew, 
 
 The just and true endures for evermore. 
 
 They knew what arduous work was to be done, 
 
 They bared their arms to struggle 'gainst the flood. 
 
 Their color-sketch was made at Lexington; 
 
 They knew henceforth their deepest red was — blood. 
 
 But they had iron nerves, their hearts were true, 
 They looked to heaven to aid them in that hour ; 
 
 From heaven they took the starry vault of blue. 
 And set it as the key-note of their power. 
 
 The virgin snow that soft its mantle winds 
 
 On Cumberland's and Alleghany's heights 
 Was emblem of the pureness of their minds. 
 
 And gave the color for their highest lights. 
 
 Their palette was the broad Atlantic's beach ; 
 
 The colonies ranged round in varying hue, 
 Each had its separate tone and power, and each 
 
 Its separate interests, — holding to them true. 
 
 But on the canvas they their tones must blend. 
 Some warm, some cold, — to make a perfect whole 
 
 One master-thought must through the work extend, 
 And thirteen states must have one heart, one soul. 
 
 That soul was liberty, — the eagle's sunward flight, 
 
 The symbol of the freedom they adored. 
 To their new bond our fathers gave their plight. 
 
 And faith became the heart's controlling chord. 
 
 So, year by year, through sunshine and through storm, 
 
 Each generation did its loving part, 
 And now, our second century's dawning morn 
 
 Beholds the finished masterpiece of art. 
 
 Our fervor is the varnish, which imparts 
 
 Its lucent gloss to bring the colors out ; 
 And forty million joyful, patriot hearts, 
 
 — The golden frame that circles it about. 
 
 The conclusion of the above was the signal for at- 
 tacking the punch-bowl. Under the genial influence 
 of its contents the proceedings of the night began to 
 take a more informal character. The musicians com- 
 menced giving livelier strains. The speeches and the 
 toasts got to be more general in their themes. It was 
 
 24 
 
278 AMERICAN ARTISTS' CLUB. 
 
 proposed to drink to the success of the Art Academy 
 of Munich; then the health of the American artists in 
 Munich was drunk, and the toast was soon extended to 
 include the American artists in Europe, and finally all 
 American artists wherever they might be ; and when 
 all these had been enthusiastically disposed of, came 
 for consideration that noble class of people, "those who 
 buy the pictures," — those who patronize art, and it was 
 hoped that the honoring of that toast might embrace 
 wishes for the health and welfare of the whole Ameri- 
 can nation. 
 
 As the morning advanced, and being now freed from 
 musical restraint by the departure of the professional 
 musicians, — the band, — the hours were enlivened by the 
 singing of patriotic and other stirring songs besides 
 those of a deeper tone and darker coloring, such as 
 "Old Uncle Ned" and "Shoo Fly," thus giving a chiaro- 
 oscuro of melody doubly enjoj^able to the painter. 
 
 Everything was harmonious, everything was pleas- 
 ant. There were gentlemen present from all parts of 
 the United States, and each contributed his share to 
 the sum of the enjoyment; and so the hours flow 
 rapidly by, till all distinctly saw " by the dawn's early 
 light what so proudly they hailed at the twilight's last 
 gleaming," — the star-spangled banner, — the graceful 
 folds of which were no longer illuminated by the now 
 useless gas, but caught the first rosy beams of the 
 rising sun. 
 
 This genial Fourth of July celebration of the Ameri- 
 can artists in Munich, uniting in good fellowship so 
 many kindred spirits, is painted in bright colors in 
 their memory and framed in their hearts, — a glowing 
 picture of the patriotism which the American citizen 
 loves to display in however remote a part of the earth 
 he may be sojourning. 
 
 The American Artists' Club, at the time of the cele- 
 bration just mentioned, was not as old as our Fourth 
 of July by some ninety-seven or ninety-eight years. 
 Many attempts had been before made to form such a 
 club, but somehow or other the thing was like a bubble, 
 
CONUNDRUMS, 279 
 
 and always burst just as it was beginning to get 
 brilliant. But the present club seems to have a good 
 start now. As it is principally made up of young men 
 who only stay at Munich for a few years, its member- 
 ship is always changing, and that brings freshness to 
 it. Many are the pleasant nights that have been spent 
 there, many the festivities and varied performances 
 that have taken place, many the sketches, caricatures, 
 and comic illustrations that have been produced there, 
 many the jokes and good sayings that have been made 
 there. The artist, when he unbends, is always a cheery 
 fellow. If there are professional jealousies between 
 them, I do not believe they are as strong or as bitter 
 as similar jealousies between colleagues in other walks 
 of life. When they congregate at night this slight 
 mantle, at any rate, is thrown from their shoulders. 
 The cloud of smoke hanging through the room seems 
 to wrap them together as with one common cover, and 
 the beer-mugs on the table are the connecting link of a 
 chain that binds them to each other. At such moments 
 they take everything in good part, and their sound 
 qualities of heart can be best understood by the public 
 when it is known that they patiently, and without any 
 thoughts of blood-shedding, suffered themselves to be 
 inflicted with such artistic conundrums as the follow- 
 ing : 
 
 Why is a wicked giant with the jaundice like an 
 indispensable color? Because it's a yellow ochre 
 (ogre). 
 
 What is the difference between a novel and vermil- 
 ion ? One is light reading, the other is light red. 
 
 Why is a certain powerful color like an intoxicated 
 subject of the German emperor? Because it*s a Prus- 
 sian blue. 
 
 Why is painting with pomade instead of oil, to an 
 artist, like a favorite dish to an epicure? Because it 
 suits (suets) his palate. 
 
 What beautiful but expensive color reminds you of 
 a savage's war-whoop? Indian yellow (yell, oh!). 
 
 If you pull Mr. Brown's nose and then kick him 
 afterwards, what color does the second operation ro- 
 
280 CONUNDRUMS. 
 
 mind you of? One makes Brown mad, but the other 
 makes Brown madder. 
 
 Why is a certain very bright color worth five hun- 
 dred thousand times as much as modesty? Because 
 one is a vir-tue (two) and the other is a ver-milion 
 (million). 
 
 What is the difference between self conceitedness 
 and a donkey without a tail? One is a human fault 
 and the other is an ass fault (asphalt). 
 
 Why is a man who has a spell of vomiting just after 
 sundown like a French drying-oil ? Because he's sick 
 at eve (siccatif). 
 
 Suppose a negro were to instigate another negro to 
 commit the larceny of a bag of wheat, what French 
 color would he name in saying it? Styl de grain 
 (steal de grain). 
 
 Why is a statue of Eve like the last popular song ? 
 Because it's a nudity (new ditty). 
 
 Why is painting a man's nose a shade too ruddy like 
 a celebrated painter ? Because it*s a Tintoretto (tint 
 too red, oh). 
 
 What's the difference between a young miss and an 
 old master? One's a dear, but the other's a dearer 
 (Diirer). 
 
 If four natives of Singapore sit down to play whist, 
 why is it like an indispensable article for an artist? 
 Because it's an Indian rubber. 
 
 If a cat's natural enemy were roasted, what painter 
 would the sauce put you in mind of? Sassoferrato 
 (sauce of a rat, oh). 
 
 Suppose an Irishman and one of our aborigines were 
 to use the same living subject to paint from, why would 
 it be like a miniature, new-principled locomotive, already 
 protected by law ? Because it would be the model of a 
 patent engine (Pat and Indian). 
 
 (By our Irish contributor, most likely instigated by 
 the above.) Why is claret dropping from a broken 
 cask like a very fine color ? Because it's a crimson 
 lake (leak). 
 
 What is the difference between the season of lent 
 and the interior of a Dutch ale-house? Because it 
 
PUNS AND SAYINGS. 281 
 
 takes forty days to make the one, but it takes ten 
 years (Teniers) to do the other. 
 
 Why is the unfortunate fellow whose picture is 
 rejected by the "salon" like a good shot at wild 
 ducks ? Because he gets his canvas back, you know. 
 
 It was hoped that the torture was here at an end, 
 but the party who proposed the above startled us by 
 making a new departure and asking, What drum can't 
 be beat ? Nobody knew, of course, but himself, so he 
 told us it was his last conun-drum. 
 
 There was perfect quiet and order in the room. 
 
 Not even satisfied with the foregoing, there were 
 anecdotes, little passes at repartee, and specimens of 
 word- maiming and pronunciation excruciating (some- 
 times called punning), which — so hardy were the 
 members — did not have the effect of scaring off the 
 attendance. Here are a few of the sayings : 
 
 It is always dangerous for our poor Indians to take 
 a cold, because it is so likely to develop into a whoop- 
 ing cough. 
 
 A young fellow being introduced at a party to 
 several young ladies each of whose names happened to 
 be Mary, was smitten on the instant with tbe last one 
 presented to him, and, as a compliment, compared her 
 to honesty. On her blushingly asking him for an 
 explanation he answered, " Because you are the best 
 Poll I see.'^ 
 
 One of the fellows wanted to know whether we 
 knew why Mark Twain was likely to be the most 
 fortunate man at a lottery. " Because," he said, " in 
 buying his numbers he was very sure to draw all 
 (drawl)." 
 
 At a breakfast where only Jews happened to be 
 present was a certain rosy leg of pork, of which none 
 of them would partake : why was it like the Prince of 
 Denmark's soliloquy? Because it was Hamlet alone 
 (ham let alone). 
 
 Why are the police reports in the daily papers like 
 a boarding-house chicken? Because it is all sinews 
 (sin news). 
 
 24* 
 
282 PUNS AND SAVINGS. 
 
 " Happy to meet a colleague," as the hangman said 
 when he adjusted the noose under the culprit's ear. 
 " How so?" said the man. " Because you're in my line, 
 — don't you see?" 
 
 Conversation turned on politics, and some one gravely 
 asked who we thought was the coming man. There was 
 some diversity of opinion, which he settled by saying 
 that the coming (combing) man was the hairdresser. 
 Nothing happened to the gentleman in question that 
 night: he was not even waylaid when he went home. 
 
 Mrs. Jarj ingle, who has written some sweet lines, and 
 whose command of language is something wonderful, 
 on being pressed by a young publisher to give her 
 effusions to the world, modestly consented, but she did 
 not want to sign her real name to them ; she said she 
 would rather ^'have them published unanimously." 
 
 A doctor once said he hadn't time to take part in a 
 projected excursion, because he had a number of grave 
 cases to attend to. Somebody remarked that he was 
 afraid all Dr. A 's cases were grave cases. 
 
 The pre- vailing style of dress, that of Adam and Eve 
 before the fall. 
 
 We don't know why artists should feel hurt when 
 their pictures are "skyed," — they should feel flattered 
 that their works are thus stamped as belonging to 
 high art. 
 
 Aunt Mary to little Johnny, who has smashed up 
 his new hobby-horse with the kitchen cleaver, " Why, 
 dear me, Johnny, what have you been and done ?" 
 " Oh, nothin', auntie ; pap said yesterday the best horse 
 wasn't worth anything unless it was well broken." 
 
 Yery weak punch reminds one of the fonts at the 
 entrance of the Catholic churches, — it seems to be 
 wholly water. 
 
 In spite of the foregoing conundrums and sayings, 
 the club still exists. 
 
ART. 283 
 
 CHAPTEE XIX. 
 
 Art — Circular from Department of State — Results of the circular — The Re- 
 ports published by the Department — Deluge of letters to consuls — My 
 report — To take off all duty on works of art — Despatch of April 12, 1878 
 — American goods being slowly introduced — American toys in Bavaria 
 — Our tools — American versus German hammers — Characteristics of 
 our productions — Our weakness in attempts to decorate — Definition of 
 ornament — Ornamentation of the hair — Helps to nature — Ornament 
 must express a function — Its laws must be studied — Inborn feeling for 
 art in the American — Our ships, carriages, etc. — Art forms in common 
 implements — What art form in a machine? — Flowers and weeds — 
 The intent to ornament and decorate — We do not know what original- 
 ity means — Schools for teaching art — Art must be seriously studied — 
 One step our government can take — Take off duty on works of art — 
 Facilities for seeing works of art facilitate art — Art must be made 
 more popular — Our tariff is for protection — Artists in different lines 
 not equally protected — Artists not pecuniarily benefited — Americans 
 will not buy foreign landscapes — We cannot have galleries of old masters 
 — Are musicians and authors protected ? — Where and when Americans 
 purchase — Importation of foreign art works will increase — American 
 artists will sell better— New tariff bill of March 3, 1883— Protests 
 from American artists — Americans at Munich Academy — Number of 
 prizes. 
 
 AET. 
 
 I SAID in the beginning that I would not write 
 anything about art. The reader must not be startled 
 by the heading of this chapter nor accuse me of 
 inconsistency. I merely meant in the first chapter 
 that I would not let myself be led into any criticism 
 on art or on Munich painters or paintings. I simply 
 wish to say a few words here on art encouragement, 
 and in its connection with our country and the fetters 
 which our country has seen fit to shackle it with. But 
 in order to get on the track I must take tlie reader a 
 rather roundabout road, which, however, is necessary 
 for the bettor understanding of what I am trying to 
 aim at. 
 
 In August, 1877, the Secretary of State sent a 
 circular to the Diplomatic and Consular oliicers an 
 follows : 
 
284 CIRCULAR FROM DEPARTMENT OF STATE, 
 
 " Department of State, 
 '^Washington, August, 1877. 
 
 " To the'Consul of the United States at . 
 
 "Sir, — Under the provisions of section 208 of the 
 Eevised Statutes and of paragraphs 380, 381, and 382 
 of the Consular Eegulations, the Representatives of 
 the United States in foreign countries are instructed to 
 transmit to the Department such commercial informa- 
 tion and statistics as they respectively obtain, in order 
 to enable the Secretary of State to prepare the annual 
 reports upon the commercial relations of the United 
 States which the laws authorize him to make. 
 
 " Besides the general information thus to be com- 
 piled, there is another and more specific line of inquiry 
 to which the Department now desires to invite your 
 attention. 
 
 '^ It is believed that the period has now arrived when 
 it would be wise for the nations not only of this conti- 
 nent, but also of Europe, to consider more carefully 
 than heretofore how they may best enlarge their trade 
 with this country. The United States are in a condi- 
 tion to supply, cheapl}^ and easily, many products and 
 manufactured articles suitable to the wants of the dif- 
 ferent countries, receiving in return natural products 
 and articles of manufacture which can be utilized and 
 consumed here. A favorable opportunity for the de- 
 velopment of such trade would seem to be now offered 
 by the prevailing stagnation of business and depres- 
 sion of prices. It is desirable, of course, for the United 
 States that they should find markets for the export of 
 their products and manufactures, and on the other 
 hand, it is advantageous to the people of other coun- 
 tries that they should be able to purchase at the present 
 decreased valuation. 
 
 " In view of these considerations, it is desired by the 
 Department that its Diplomatic and Consular officers 
 should devote attention to the question of methods by 
 which trade with the United States can be most judi- 
 ciously fostered. Without seeking to interfere with any 
 commercial operations or enterprises that may now be 
 in existence, it is, nevertheless, deemed highly probable 
 
RESULTS OF THE CIRCULAR. 285 
 
 that you may be able, by examination and inquiry, to 
 
 point out branches of trade with in which the 
 
 United States may properly and usefully share. You 
 are instructed, therefore, to make such examination at 
 your convenience, and to advise the Department, when 
 suitable occasion shall offer, as to the demand for dif- 
 ferent products and manufactured articles now used in 
 
 , their nature and prices whenever they are such 
 
 as it is probable the industry of the United States can 
 
 supply. Also as to the products of in which the 
 
 trade with the United States could be increased, either 
 by legislative or executive action or by commercial en- 
 terprise. 
 
 " The inquiry here suggested should not be hastily 
 made, nor is it expected that it will be rapidly accom- 
 plished. It is rather the purpose of the Department 
 that it shall be continuous, and that you should from 
 time to time communicate to the government such in- 
 formation as it may be in your power to acquire in this 
 direction, in order that it may be laid before Congress 
 and the general public. 
 " I am, sir, 
 
 *^ Your obedient servant, 
 
 "F. W. Seward, 
 " Acting Secretary'^ 
 
 This bait, which was to catch the custom of the 
 whole world and which was distributed among the 
 consuls to put on their individual hooks, emanated 
 from the fertile brain of William M. Evarts. It is very 
 probable the success of our Centennial Exhibition had 
 something to do with the formulating of the idea. At 
 any rate, great credit was given to our then Secretary 
 of State by all our merchants and manufacturers (who 
 were ultimately to be the gainers by it) for the step ho 
 took. 
 
 The consuls went fishing with a will. Many were 
 the lines that were thrown out into the stagnant 
 waters of foreign needs to catch orders for our ])rod- 
 ucts, and many were the lines sent in to the State De- 
 partment in response (not figuratively this time, as 
 
286 THE REPORTS PUBLISHED, 
 
 the piles of manuscript there preserved can testify). 
 Nearly every consul sent a reply in due course of time 
 to the above circular, and gave all the information in 
 his power, and all suggestions to which his experience 
 or his ingenuity prompted him. Many of these reports 
 contained valuable matter; many contained nothing 
 that was new ; and many were, of course, repetitions 
 of what others had already written, but almost all con- 
 curred in the opinion that the three quarters of the be- 
 nighted world lying outside the limits of the United 
 States were in burning need of our wares, and would 
 prove a perfect El Dorado for our manufacturers and 
 producers if they could only succeed in making those 
 wares better known abroad. There was not an article 
 under the sun (our sun) that would not then be eagerly 
 grasped after by those backward foreigners, and un- 
 told gold was to flow into the pockets of our people. 
 
 These reports were published by the State Depart- 
 ment, — some in full, some only in part; they were 
 eagerly reproduced by all the export, commercial, man- 
 ufacturers', and trade journals which are devoted to the 
 interests of our commerce — and of their own columns. 
 There was a sudden demand for such journals, and the 
 editors were jubilant, and they thought the movement 
 a most important one and considered these reports a 
 boon to the country. The daily papers printed extracts 
 from the reports, longer or shorter, according to their 
 necessities. It is natural that many comments were 
 made on these consular effusions. Some of the New 
 York papers tried to poke fun at the rose-colored views 
 with which many of them were tainted ; other jour- 
 nals gave full credit to the labor that had been ex- 
 pended on them. 
 
 Soon after the publication of these reports there was 
 a perfect boom of letters and circulars and catalogues 
 and price-lists which swooped down on the devoted 
 heads of our consuls, thick as the falling leaves of au- 
 tumn. It was expected that the consuls should put 
 our sellers in direct correspondence or connection with 
 the foreign purchasers ; it was supposed that they had 
 the facilities for at once opening up the new channels 
 
DUTY ON WORKS OF ART. 287 
 
 to our trade which they had so strongly recommended. 
 There was no want of soft sawder in some of these 
 epistles, intended as a tickler to consular vanity in 
 order to bring about a speedy compliance with the 
 wishes of the writer. Some parties, in their innocence, 
 even offered a percentage on the profits, seemingly 
 ignorant of the fact that consuls are prohibited from 
 unnecessarily augmenting the wealth that accrues to 
 them from their splendid salaries by any such sordid 
 means. 
 
 I am satisfied that every ofiicer abroad did his best 
 to bring about the ends the Department had in view. 
 Whether the results were as overwhelming as many 
 sanguine spirits were led to believe they would be, I 
 leave for others to investigate. 
 
 Being a conscientious consul, and a circular coming 
 soon afterwards saying what dreadful things would be 
 done to consuls who did not comply with the Depart- 
 ment's instructions, I also wrote a report. It was a 
 lengthy report, — for we are not stinted in stationery, 
 and do not have to give vouchers for the postage 
 accounts. I at least tried to give such information 
 as I thought would be most useful. My report was 
 only partially published, — perhaps on account of want 
 of space in the volume which was to appear on the 
 subject, — perhaps because the Congressional appropria- 
 tion did not reach to carry it out to the end, — perhaps 
 because the Department did not think it worth pub- 
 lishing in full. 1 should not have been dissatisfied with 
 the curtailment if it had only been made at the right 
 end ; but, unfortunately, the part to which I attached 
 the least importance was printed, and the latter part, 
 which contained quite a startling suggestion, was taken 
 no notice of. 
 
 This latter part was nothing less than a recommen- 
 dation to take off all duty on works of art^ — to discontinue 
 the protection given to American artists. 
 
 That my reasoning may be better understood, it is 
 necessary for me to give the substance of that despatch, 
 which was dated April 12, 1878, condensing it as much 
 as I possibly can. Many of the points have but little 
 
288 AMERICAN GOODS IN BAVARIA. 
 
 interest for the general reader, and I shall merely refer 
 to them for the sake of the connection. 
 
 One of the chief difficulties in replying to the De- 
 partment's circular from a place like Munich, which is 
 neither a manufacturing nor a commercial town, was 
 to avoid giving useless repetitions of what other consuls 
 at more important places in Germany were sure to 
 write. Very able papers had been sent in by some of 
 my colleagues, and it was only left for me to concur 
 generally in the views therein expressed by them. I 
 was obliged, therefore, to limit my remarks in that 
 connection to my own consular district, or, at most, to 
 Bavaria. I thought it of importance, in the com- 
 mencement, to take into consideration the degree in 
 which our manufactures and products had already ad- 
 vanced in the estimation of foreign customers. 
 
 Bavaria, I wrote, being rather an agricultural than 
 a commercial country, and being an inland state, it is 
 natural that new articles from foreign countries should 
 be more slowly and less directly introduced than into 
 states bordering on the sea and having an extensive 
 outside trade. I noticed with gratification that for the 
 last ten years or so our manufactures and products 
 had been gradually finding their way into Bavaria. 
 Before that time it was a rare thing to meet with any 
 American article exposed for sale. There was a prej- 
 udice against our wares, arising most probably from 
 the fact that they were still so little known to the 
 mass of the people. I then enumerated the articles I 
 had seen successively introduced into the shops of 
 Munich and other Bavarian cities: American ham- 
 mers, hatchets, and axes, spades and shovels, hay- and 
 manure-forks, planes, augers, braces and bits, hand 
 grindstones, washing- and wringing-machines, patent 
 boot-jacks and corkscrews, and those numerous and 
 ingenious trifles known as Yankee notions, canned 
 vegetables and meats and fruit, lobsters and oysters, 
 all kinds of agricultural machines (which serve as 
 models for nearly all those that are made in Germany), 
 and the ubiquitous sewing-machine, which is an indis- 
 pensable article in every household here as it is at home. 
 
AMERICAN GOODS IN BAVARIA, 289 
 
 But what was most surprising was that American 
 toys should be sent across the ocean into the very 
 heart of that country which, for so many centuries, 
 has furnished playthings for the children of every part 
 of the world. It seems indeed strange that in Bavaria, 
 in whose ancient city of Nuremberg — still walled and 
 moated — the treasures of childhood were in former 
 years almost exclusively made, American toys should 
 be encroaching on the time-honored figures which 
 were wont to delight us and our fathers and our fathers* 
 fathers for long generations back. First, I had seen 
 our toy steam-engines, then patent building-blocks, 
 then our endless variety of mechanical toys and puz- 
 zles, until "John Gilpin" and " Funny Fellows" have 
 become as regularly a part of the stock here as they 
 are with us.* Twenty years before that time our 
 india-rubber toys were the only ones I had ever seen 
 in an}^ part of Germany. 
 
 A description of the annual agricultural exhibitions 
 which are held at Munich here followed in my report, 
 with remarks on the American machines, implements, 
 and tools there displayed ; and in concluding that part 
 of the paper I gave a general list of all the articles of 
 American manufacture which I thought, if properly in- 
 troduced, might find an extended and remunerative 
 market in Bavaria. 
 
 I drew particular attention to our tools, especially 
 for carpenters and others who work in wood. Many 
 years before, I had often spoken to hardware mer- 
 chants and mechanics on the subject and urged them 
 to make a trial of our tools, for those used here are of 
 very inferior material, roughly made, of clumsy shape, 
 and continually breaking; wearing out very quickly, 
 and getting dull with little work, thereby taking up 
 much time in keeping them sharp. This branch of our 
 manufactures seemed a ver}^ important one to mo, 
 because I was convinced of the superiority of our tools 
 over those of — I may say — almost any other nation. 
 
 *It is almost noodless to saj that all these artiolos were soon olumsilj 
 copied by Qerman manufaoturors. 
 
 N t 25 
 
290 AMERICAN GOODS IN BAVARIA. 
 
 On visiting our Centennial Exhibition this fact was 
 again made apparent to me. Other visitors were also 
 struck by the same thing. Professor Seelhorst, of 
 Nuremberg, was so thoroughly convinced of the superi- 
 ority of our tools that he took a complete collection of 
 them with him on his return to his native country, 
 and exhibited them all over Bavaria and other parts 
 of Germany, and gave lectures on their uses and 
 advantages. 
 
 One can judge of the qualities of a workman by the 
 look of his tools. A lazy workman is not so particular 
 about having his tools of the very best : he is afraid 
 they might lead him into doing too much work; but a 
 good workman who has good and reliable tools takes a 
 pride in them, and takes a pride in showing that he is 
 master of them and in showing what he can do with 
 them. And it is certainly true that a good w^orkman 
 will accomplish nearly twice as much with good tools 
 as with bad ones. 
 
 In making a comparison between German and Amer- 
 ican tools, I need only take the simplest as an example. 
 Look at the ordinary German hammer; it is somewhat 
 of a pig-headed instrument, always going the wrong 
 way, — turning in the hand, and not striking fair and 
 flat on the object. The head is mostly convex, gliding 
 off from the nail when struck and knocking it over 
 sideways ; the handle is either too short, or too light 
 or too heavy for the head, and is roughly finished, and 
 both the iron and the wood used are generally of the 
 poorest quality. It takes great practice (accompanied 
 Mnth an accumulation of black thumb-nails and still 
 blacker words) to handle such a hammer effectively. 
 The American hammer, on the contrary, is quite a dif- 
 ferent tool. The head is shapely, truly made, and of 
 the best metal (the Germans think any old iron is good 
 enough for a hammer), — the handle is of wood almost 
 as tough and strong as the iron itself, cleanly finished, 
 and made exactly to fit the hand. Our hammers are 
 so well balanced, that in taking one up one feels how it 
 immediately falls into the grip, how it has just the 
 right swing, and how the head comes down parallel 
 
AMERICAN PRODUCTIONS. 291 
 
 with the surface it is striking with a sharp, elastic 
 stroke. It is not necessary to make further com- 
 parisons. I have alluded to the above as a single in- 
 stance, but in all our tools the same care in the finish, 
 the same accuracy of the model, and the same elegance 
 of shape is everywhere apparent. 
 
 My remarks as to what changes might be made in 
 the shape of many of our tools and machines to suit 
 the prejudices and to conform to the traditions of 
 German workmen in order to make them more salable 
 in Germany, are not in place here. It is evident that 
 such alterations could be made in many articles with- 
 out their losing thereby their good qualities or their 
 handiness. Even so competent an authority as Mr. 
 Gladstone, the eminent tree-feller and statesman, 
 praised our axes, pronouncing the hickory handle 
 excellent, — yet he wished it were cut straight across 
 at the end at a right angle to its axis, as he had alwaj^s 
 been accustomed to having it. 
 
 It will have struck every one who visited our Cen- 
 tennial Exhibition at Philadelphia, where the best 
 opportunities for making comparisons were given, that 
 our own productions generally displayed a strength 
 of material coupled with the utmost lightness of form, 
 — a compactness of parts and an elegance of finish not 
 surpassed by those of any other nation ; these are the 
 qualities that make our machines and our manufactured 
 articles popular and commend them to the attention of 
 all foreigners. 
 
 The American workman is neat and quick in his 
 work ; he is apt at catching an idea and practical in 
 carrying it out. He is not slow to discard an old 
 method when a newer and better one suggests itself. 
 He applies himself to supply the popular want, and 
 his ingenuity also leads him to invent articles which 
 soon create for themselves a demand. Wherever 
 manual dexterity or the marvellous working of tho 
 labor-saving machine can come into play, there are few 
 articles which cannot be made in the United States as 
 well as elsewhere. Indeed, it is astonishing to what 
 
292 DECORATIONS. 
 
 perfection we have brought the manufacture of many 
 articles which have been for years, for centuries even, 
 the specialties of certain countries, — which have been 
 the heirlooms of their genius, — which have been 
 wrapped in the jealous mystery of a family or of a 
 national protection. 
 
 It is natural that, in every new country, only after 
 the first actual wants of the people are supplied can 
 attention be given to what promotes our comfort or 
 adds to our enjoyment. The embellishments of life 
 come when its necessities have been supplied. 
 
 The immense expanse of our country and the high 
 rate of wages are the factors which have created the 
 ingenious labor-saving machinery used in the produc- 
 tion of all our staple articles. The natural treasures 
 of our land supply the best of materials for the making 
 of these machines, and money being more equally 
 distributed with us than is the case in other nations, 
 the demands for the fruits of our people's ingenuity 
 are also more general than elsewhere. We are thus 
 enabled to supply our own wants in all that is needful 
 and useful, and to send the surplus of such wares and 
 products to other countries, where there is an ever- 
 increasing demand for them. But when we come to 
 look at the luxuries and elegancies of life, and the 
 objects of art that surround us, we must make the 
 mortifying confession that they are almost all imported. 
 
 As far as good workmanship, solidity, fine finish, 
 are concerned, as far as adaptability and practicability 
 are concerned in the making of an article, we can 
 hold our own with any nation ; but when we go be- 
 yond this, when we seek to give the useful a decorative 
 dress, when we attempt to add the charm of ornament 
 to our work, there we show our weakness. There we 
 must yield the palm to all the nations of Europe. 
 
 There is a great difference between the logical appli- 
 cation of artistic forms to articles which, even without 
 such application, would fulfil the purposes for which 
 they are designed, and the decoration of the same to 
 make them appear of more value. 
 
 I once heard ornament defined as " the characteristic 
 
ORNAMENTATION OF THE HAIR. 293 
 
 expression of a certain function," and I take that 
 definition to be correct. At the present day, when so 
 man}^ persons are dabbling in art, and, in fact, with all 
 persons who do not know exactly what they are 
 about, the tendency is to give extravagant contour to 
 every article, and to plaster over everything they have 
 a hand in with figurative devices either in lines or 
 in colors, or in relief, or in indentation, which are 
 intended as adornments. 
 
 There can be no aesthetic objection to making any- 
 thing as rich as possible, — to lavish on an article the 
 treasures of color, form, and material wherever we 
 have the means to do so. But the thing must be 
 understood, — we must know where to place our gems, 
 and why we so place them. Not knowing this, we put 
 the wrong things where the right things should be, or, 
 oftener, we put these parts where there should be 
 no decoration at all, — where the distinctive form of the 
 object itself should be left to speak its purpose. 
 
 I think no one would quarrel with a woman for 
 trying to arrange her hair in the manner most becom- 
 ing to her. If she be imbued with artistic taste, and 
 she does not allow her hands to be shackled by the 
 mere demands of fashion, she will work in the lines 
 and group the masses so as best to harmonize with her 
 features, with the form of her head, and with her 
 figure, so as to throw shadows where such shadows 
 serve to bring out into stronger relief the brightness 
 of the skin ; she will make use of a flower, or a ribbon, 
 or a jewel of that color which by contrast would 
 most enhance the natural color and glossiness of her 
 hair. I believe God, when he gave the finishing touch 
 to the human form, purposely left the hair soft and 
 pliable, and without sensation, that some part of our 
 body, at least, might be under our direct control, that 
 we might have freedom to exercise our fancy in its 
 arrangement, — to give thereby an expression to our 
 individuality, and to help in softening blemishes, which, 
 alas, but few of Eve's children are without. Hero 
 we have, on our own bodies, a legitimate field for orna- 
 mentation. 
 
 26* 
 
294 HELPS TO NATURE, 
 
 Even if a woman, who lacks the natural charms of a 
 pure skin and rosy cheeks, assists nature by applying 
 color artificially to her countenance, — provided she fully 
 understands the art, — can there be, aesthetically con- 
 sidered,* any absurdity in her so doing? But when 
 we take the case of the Indian, who daubs his face with 
 various bright colors in crude patterns and hideous 
 contrasts, the thing is barbarous, — revolting. In the 
 case of the lady, — she merely wishes to supply what 
 through some infirmity of the blood or the lungs or 
 the liver (or some other organ or fluid which a doctor 
 would be better able to name) has been denied her. 
 She merely wishes to indicate the functions which her 
 skin would have in a healthful state ; and beauty is 
 healthfulness. It is at least the right thing in the 
 right place. But in the case of the savage, — he is put- 
 ting things where they never belonged, where they 
 have no normal meaning, where they are made to hide 
 functions that should be expressed. 
 
 And so it is with ornament. All ornament must ex- 
 
 ^' We are generally educated in our strict schools of propriety to look 
 npcn anything artificial in the make-up of our bodies as affected, ignoble, 
 sinful. But surely, if a person have the misfortune to lose his hair or his 
 teeth, is it not his duty towards his fellow-men to try as far as it is in the 
 power of art to do so to hide these defects by the purchase of a well- 
 made wig, or by the insertion of artificial incisors? We have indeed 
 become accustomed to look upon a bald pate on a man as the result of 
 great brain-power and energy, and as the stamp of an intellect that has 
 been driven to its utmost capacity by serious, powerful, and unremitting 
 brain-labor; but after all, the falling out of the hair is only the result 
 of a disease, more or less prevalent in all countries, but certainly none 
 the more beautiful on that account. There are lots of women that think 
 as hard and work as much with their brains as men, and yet we don't 
 like to see bald-headed women, — and we rarely do see them. 
 
 We are prejudiced against women's painting principally from a med- 
 ical point of view (because so many injurious substances are offered to 
 them for that purpose), and also from a nursery point of view, for we 
 have, from our infancy onward, heard the practice held up to us as a crime 
 by those who either, honestly, had no need for calling in art to their aid, 
 or by those who for all the world would have liked to indulge, but were 
 only deterred therefrom through the fear of being found out and 
 ridiculed. And there lies the secret which has already been hinted at, — 
 the difficulty of applying the art so that it seems no art. Where nature 
 requires a little helping in the cause of comeliness, there is no wrong 
 done in giving such help. The palpable smearing of the face merely as 
 a matter of fashion is a very reprehensible custom. 
 
ART IN THE AMERICAN. 295 
 
 press the function of the part to which it is applied. 
 Decoration is of a secondary nature, and must always 
 be held in subordination. The art of decoration can 
 never be understood until we are fully versed in the 
 science of ornamentation, and ornamentation is the 
 artistic exponent of strength, force, support, expanse, 
 extension, and connection symbolized by representa- 
 tions of natural things (more or less realistically char- 
 acterized) or of ideal figures. 
 
 Granting that ornamentation is a science, it follows 
 that its laws must be studied. It is true that some 
 few people have to a certain extent an innate cognition 
 of the proprieties of ornament, yet a knowledge of its 
 principles must be acquired before its application can 
 be brought to correctness. We generally find that 
 where any form grows out of the requirements of use 
 or actual necessity, it is, in itself,— without any attempt 
 on the part of its creator to make it so, — graceful and 
 .beautiful. But even in such cases the characteristics 
 of different nations make themselves apparent in their 
 unconscious expression of the fitness of form. It would 
 lead too far in such a book as this to take into consid- 
 eration the feelings which moved the ancient Greeks in 
 forming the beautiful vases of the early period. They 
 were without schooling: it was the uses to which their 
 vases were to be put that guided instinctively the hand 
 in giving them their distinctive, rational, and graceful 
 outline. Greece was a nation of born artists, and the 
 artistic instinct developed itself b}^ degrees into that 
 perfection of art which has left its works as models for 
 all succeeding generations. 
 
 It may seem paradoxical to say so, yet I believe that 
 the matter-of-fact American, looking only to the ac- 
 complishment of an object without any waste of labor 
 or material upon it, possesses something akin to the 
 genius of the early Greeks in often giving, unbeknown 
 to himself, beautiful forms to whatever is demanded by 
 stern necessity. The art-spirit is latent, — it is crude, 
 — but it is there. Let me refer, for instance, to our 
 naval architecture. The problem here is to build ves- 
 sels which with the greatest strength shall combine 
 
296 AMERICAN SHIPS, CARRIAGES, ETC 
 
 the qualities which give them the greatest speed. To 
 obtain speed two factors are necessary, — power to drive 
 the ship (that is, either by means of inward and con- 
 cealed machinery, or by the expanse of sail presented 
 to the wind), and, secondly, the shaping of the hull so 
 that as little resistance as possible may be offered to 
 the water in passing through it, and that the displaced 
 water rushing back on either side and meeting again 
 behind may serve to give the ship a fresh impulse for- 
 wards. Now, I do not suppose that any of our naval 
 architects have studied art, or that they have had any 
 ideal forms in their minds when drawing the hull or 
 the other parts. They have merely studied the physi- 
 cal principles which when applied to the shaping of the 
 hull, the raking of the masts, and the spread of the sail, 
 would give the greatest speed to the ship, and they 
 have made their drawings accordingly. Yet see into 
 what grand lines of grace they have unwittingly been 
 led. Our ships and boats, both large and small, have a 
 majestic beauty of form, a subtle fineness of lines, an 
 ele^gance of proportions which have not been reached 
 by the builders of other nations. 
 
 In our vehicles of all kinds, the great strength, tough- 
 ness, and elasticity of our woods have made it possible 
 to construct them much lighter than elsewhere, and this 
 lightness of construction has necessitated the utmost 
 simplification of all the parts. But in making the con- 
 structional connections our builders by instinct fall into 
 lines and proportions that are generally beautiful. The 
 same result is brought about in our machinery. The 
 framework which has to support the whole (enclosing an 
 axle here, encasing a wheel there, — at all parts sinu- 
 ously winding along, — making way for a shaft at one 
 place, escaping a crank at another place, going in and 
 out, so that every moving part may have full play, but 
 not giving an inch more room than necessary) shows 
 lines as intricate as the branching of trees and roots, — 
 and as graceful. Some parts require great strength, and 
 a consequent greater bulk of material must be given 
 there ; other parts have lighter work to do, and in such 
 the material is reduced to its utmost limits of lightness. 
 
ART-FORM IN COMMON IMPLEMENTS. 297 
 
 The builder of the machine endeavors in his way to em- 
 phasize both the extra strength he has given to certain 
 parts and the saving of material wherever slenderness is 
 admissible. Here again, without having any artistic 
 object in view, the machine-builder unconsciously gives 
 proportions which have the elements of grace in them, 
 because the parts in their size and in their forms bear 
 the just and necessarj^- relationship to each other. 
 
 Even in some of our most common implements, in 
 the handles of our tools, for instance (look at our 
 ploughs, our scythes and cradles), because they are 
 made to fit the hand and the swing of the body, we see 
 lines that are eminently beautiful in their undulations. 
 
 I am inclined to think that even in the handwriting 
 of our people, as distinguished from that of other na- 
 tions, we see expressed an inherent feeling for graceful 
 lines, which, I make bold to say, may also be taken as a 
 proof of the assertion before made, that the American 
 possesses art-spirit, but that it is, as yet, undeveloped, 
 uncultivated, and unperceived by himself. 
 
 There are doubtless many people who will be dis- 
 posed to think that the views just expressed are very 
 extreme views, and, with a doubting smile, might ask 
 what art-forms one can possibly see in a machine. 
 To such I answer that we are accustomed to pass by 
 many things in nature without being struck by their 
 beauty, simply because we look for beauty only in 
 those objects which have been traditionally held up to 
 us as objects to admire. From childhood up we have 
 been taught to admire flowers, but we pass by weeds 
 or trample them under foot, seeing no beauty in them. 
 I am aware that this comparison is not in all respects a 
 favorable one, for in the case of flowers, their fragrance 
 and their greater expanse of vivid colors have much to 
 do in making them esteemed by us ; they appeal so di- 
 rectly to the senses that their qualities are understand- 
 able by every one ; the babe before it leaves its mother's 
 knee clutches at them eagerly and holds them afloc- 
 tionately in its chubby fist; it loves flowers before it is 
 taught to admire them. 
 
 But if we take the trouble to examine the despised 
 
298 ORIGINALITY. 
 
 weeds of the field we will discover as exquisite grace 
 in their forms, and often as beautiful gradations 
 of color as in the proudest garden flowers. Indeed, 
 most of the ornaments used by the Greeks in their 
 architecture, in their vases and candelabrums, are but 
 the typified forms of the commonest wild plants. 
 
 So in all objects made b}- man, we are accustomed to 
 look for beauty only in such as address themselves di- 
 rectly to the senses, — in such that he has endeavored 
 to make beautiful. 
 
 I now come to the consideration of the point which 
 has led to the above explanation, — the intent^ the effort to 
 ornament and decorate. If I have maintained that the 
 American evinces a certain subtlety of feeling in the 
 artistic expression of what is necessary and indispensa- 
 ble, I can assert that he is all afloat when he openly 
 attempts to embellish or enrich his work. 
 
 I have a collection of photographs and drawings of 
 furniture, organs, clocks, silverware, etc. I might call 
 it my "chamber of horrors," only that it happens 
 to be a portfolio. When I open it I am taken aback 
 at the uncouthness of the designs, the crudity of the 
 drawing, the want of elegance and justness of propor- 
 tion, the non-appreciation of fitness of detail, and the 
 misapplication of architectural forms there so aff'ront- 
 ingly staring at me. 
 
 We seek to be original, but we hardly know what 
 originality means. The world has been rolling on its 
 axis too many thousand years not to have taught us 
 that to the principles of art we can scarcely hope to 
 add anything new, yet we hear people prating to this 
 day about the founding of an American style of archi- 
 tecture, for instance, — just as if any style could be 
 made to command, — when we ought to know that the 
 distinguishing characteristics of architecture in differ- 
 ent periods and diff'erent countries onlj^ grew gradually 
 out of what had been before. The so-called styles of 
 architecture are but the difl^crent languages in which 
 the same idea is clothed, — the idea of support and 
 extension. It only depends on the soundness of 
 the principles and the correctness of the language in 
 
ORIGINALITV. 299 
 
 which they are expressed, whether the architecture is 
 good or bad. This much is certain, that in all good 
 architecture we never see the forms of vegetable 
 or animal life, when applied to constructional parts, 
 realistically given, but they are always translated into 
 the typical idioms of stone, or wood, or metal. Jeffer- 
 son was a good man, a great man, a statesman and a 
 patriot, but he did not understand anything about 
 architecture when he proposed that for American 
 buildings, in the capitals of our columns and elsewhere, 
 we should use the tobacco-leaf and the corn-stalk, and 
 other plants indigenous to our soil, in their naturalistic 
 forms, so that the most uneducated should immediately 
 recognize them as such. There would be no harm in 
 making use of our plants as suggestions for architec- 
 tural ornament, if we prefer them to others, but they 
 must be treated in the same way as the Greeks and all 
 good artists who followed them treated theirs. It is 
 not presumed that the Greeks selected the acanthus- 
 leaf because any national association was connected 
 with it ; they merely did so because they saw in that 
 class of plants the elements of grace and strength 
 which, modified in form, mid grouped round the core 
 of the capital, served to symbolize the supporting of 
 the liglit abacus (for the core of the capital itself is 
 the supporting member between column and archi- 
 trave) and to express the termination — the crowning — 
 of vertical support and the transition of that to the 
 horizontal support of the architrave, whose functions 
 must be indifferently characterized. In the Doric 
 capital, the colored ornamentation of the echinus was 
 nothing more than the type of some leaf bent over by 
 the weight above it (for here the abacus was massier 
 and heavier) and turning inwards till its point met its 
 stem again. This idea of a supposed duty on our part 
 of striking out into an original, a national line of art 
 (in any of its branches), as long as we are on our 
 present art footing, is baneful in its consequences. It 
 would be best to give up all such theories of a ^' new 
 departure" in art! We might as well attempt to make 
 a new language on the spur of the moment. The 
 
300 SCHOOLS FOR TEACHIYG ART. 
 
 English dictionary is a big book, and contains all that 
 is necessary for us with which to express our thoughts 
 and ideas, and more than any one single man could 
 possibly want during the longest life — and if he lived 
 to be as old as Methuselah. The principles of art are 
 just as firmly established as the words of our language, 
 and the typical expressions of art which we already 
 possess are sufficient for the uses and purposes of any 
 nation, and of all nations, for all time; but these 
 expressions must be studied, — they must be understood 
 before we are able to make use of them properly. 
 
 Before we can turn out intelligent artists (I use the 
 word in its broadest sense) we must have schools for 
 teaching art. 
 
 The subject of industrial art education occupies the 
 attention of almost all the nations of Europe, and 
 governmental support is given to it, and the fact is 
 acknowledged that in fostering the arts and in dissem- 
 inating art education, a nation increases its wealth and 
 its importance. We, in our country, cannot expect 
 governmental support to be given in this direction, but 
 our States, at least, should make generous appropria- 
 tions for such purposes. The good fruits will not be 
 found wanting. When we are able to do ^s well, 
 artistically, as we can now do materially, there will be 
 an eager market in all countries not only for our 
 useful and necessary articles, but for such articles also 
 as minister to our enjoyment, — for such articles as 
 appeal to the senses. 
 
 A great deal is being done already in many of our 
 larger cities for the encouragement of industrial art, 
 and for the furthering of art education and for the 
 dissemination of art knowledge, and it is earnestly to 
 be hoped that these efforts will not relax, but that they 
 may in time take deep root, and thus develop art 
 education into a permanent institution. We must not 
 be misled by the apparent zeal which our people have dis- 
 played for art work for the last few years. It is more an 
 art craze than an honest thirsting for art with the masses. 
 It is a thing of fashion, which in its turn will give way 
 to the next new occupation that is brought out to kill 
 
SCHOOLS FOR TEACHING ART. 301 
 
 the time of the idle or to furnish easy pocket-money 
 to those who are not entirely dependent on it for their 
 existence. But no matter what the present abuses 
 of our art schools and art classes are, they afford an 
 opportunity for learning to those who are really 
 earnest. The ranks will soon be thinned by the 
 falling off of those who have taken up the thing in 
 play, and there will then be ample room for those who 
 honestly wish to work. We already bear complaints 
 on the part of directors and teachers of art schools 
 that the students sneak off one after another because 
 they find that they do not get on as quickly as they 
 expected ; they are unwilling to go through the drudg- 
 ery of elementary study ; they are impatient of 
 mounting step by step, — they want to jump a whole 
 flight at once. They want to draw the relief before 
 they have a correct idea of what a contour is, they 
 want to use the brush before they have learned to 
 handle the pencil, they want to make compositions 
 before they have studied any of the parts. Thank 
 fortune, there is no help for such people. Art is not 
 to be tampered with. Art is of slow growth, and to 
 bring out its flowers it must be nurtured with soulful, 
 unremitting care : it dare not be slighted. 
 
 Those who would tread the higher paths of art must 
 take to her, not as to an easy mistress, to fondle on her 
 bosom only when smiles light up her face and the 
 bloom of youth still sits upon her cheek, but as to a 
 wedded wife to whom his whole life, to whom his 
 whole strength is devoted, to whom he remains true 
 and adoring through calm and through troubled times, 
 and whose honor he is pledged to defend against every 
 attack. 
 
 But even in art in its minor applications — to our 
 articles of eveiy-day use and to household embellish- 
 ments — we must be equally conscientious ; she must bo 
 to us as a near kinswoman whose softening presence, 
 whose elevating influence makes us purer men, for ho 
 who strives to give a form of fitness and of beauty 
 even to the most humble work, ennobles himself, his 
 work, and those who come in contact with it. 
 
 20 
 
302 DUTY ON WORKS OF ART. 
 
 For the purposes of the art workshop the principles, 
 at least, of art, the laws of the harmonies of lives and 
 colors and proportions, must be taught and demon- 
 strated with all thoroughness and all energy, and the 
 students must be made to accept the teaching in the 
 same spirit. 
 
 If there are no prospects of our government doing 
 anything in the way of appropriations for the encour- 
 agement of art, there is yet one step in this direction 
 which it might take without much loss to the treasury. 
 
 As the circular from the State Department, given at 
 the beginning of this chapter, also asks for the opinions 
 of consuls in regard to the question whether by legisla- 
 tive or executive action the trade with the United 
 
 States as to the products of (in my case, Bavaria) 
 
 could be increased, I took the liberty to state that, in 
 my opinion, the admitting into our ports all works of 
 art free of duty would be attended with the most bene- 
 ficial results. 
 
 Charity begins at home ; we do not make enact- 
 ments to benefit other nations, and where we make 
 concessions we expect to get a full return in some way 
 or other. In advocating the free admission of works 
 of art of foreigners it is not the gain of foreign artists 
 that I have in view, but the gain of our own artists, 
 the gain of art in general in our country, and, indi- 
 rectly, the gain of our manufacturers and industrial art 
 workers. 
 
 There is no doubt that the mere seeing of good pic- 
 tures and statues has a progressive influence in edu- 
 cating the taste of the people. We see such results in 
 all nations where the arts have been fostered, and 
 where the works of art have been made accessible to 
 all. The mere seeing"^ of good specimens of art gives a 
 
 * I once knew a gentleman who made a set of picture-blocks for his 
 children (that is, cubes, on eiich side of which is pasted part of a picture, 
 which, when properly placed together, form a whole picture, and, as the 
 cube has six sides, six different pictures can be formed). Everybody 
 knows such blocks. The gentleman in question had cut up six fine steel 
 
DUTY ON WORKS OF ART. 303 
 
 training to the eye and to the mind, which may per- 
 haps not even be acknowledged by the recipient, but 
 which, nevertheless, expresses itself involuntarily in his 
 productions, if only in a slight and almost undiscernible 
 degree. The ill-mannered man, by associating with 
 those of better manners, even though he have no one 
 to instruct him in the rules of common politeness, in- 
 stinctively gains a little polish. 
 
 That our people have a love for art every one must 
 admit who saw the crowds that continually thronged 
 the "Memorial Hall" at our Centennial Exhibition. 
 There was no other part of the Exhibition that was so 
 universally visited as this. Most people are interested 
 in certain branches, and paid their attention to those 
 to the exclusion of others, it being impossible, even if 
 one were a daily visitor, to see everything in that vast 
 display, but all went to see the pictures and statues. 
 
 The great demand now is that art shall be made 
 more popular. One certain way of doing this would be 
 to take off all duty on works of art. I use this term, 
 of course, in its restricted sense, meaning thereby only 
 paintings and statuary and monumental works (which 
 can properly be classed as individual works of art), not 
 anything that can be reproduced by mechanical or 
 other means, or anything that is intended to be put to 
 any practical or material use. The revenue* to our 
 government from this source is quite insignificant, while 
 the duty of ten per cent, is a serious item to the single 
 purchaser. There is not a nation of Europe that im- 
 poses any duty on works of art except Greece (alas. 
 
 engravings for this purpose. On my asking why he had not taken com- 
 mon pictures such as are commonly used for children, he said that chil- 
 dren should be accustomed from their earliest youth to see what is good 
 in art in order to stimulate their taste for the beautiful, lie was per- 
 fectly ri^ht. 
 
 * The duty on works of art (except those of American citizens executed 
 abroad) is ton j)er cent, ad valorem. On the frames to j)icturo8 there is 
 «n additional duty of thirty five percent. ; that was the tariff at the time 
 the report was written. For present tariff, see note at the end of thi« 
 chapter. 
 
304 DUTY ON WORKS OF ART. 
 
 oh, Hellas!) and Turkey, which we can scarcely class 
 as a civilized state. 
 
 A painting or a piece of sculpture is the emanation 
 of the hand and of the mind of a single individual, ad- 
 dressing itself to the senses of all who behold it. Each 
 new work of art is a new creation. It cannot, there- 
 fore, be viewed in the light of an ordinary piece of 
 manufacture which can be reproduced indefinitely, 
 neither can it be looked upon as an article designed for 
 the ultimate use of one person, since it can call forth 
 the same pleasurable emotions in those who are priv- 
 ileged to view it as in its actual possessor. It is 
 true that some artists repeat their work once or twice, 
 and a picture or a statue is sometimes imported for the 
 purpose of public exhibition, thus bringing pecuniary 
 profit to its owner; but such cases are comparatively 
 rare. 
 
 But our tariff is avowedly not for the purposes of 
 revenue alone ; it is essentially a protective tariff. The 
 first law of the United States was an " act to regulate 
 the time and manner of administering certain oaths," 
 and the second law, passed July 4, 1789, was an " act 
 for laying a duty on goods, wares, and merchandises 
 imported into the United States.'* And the preamble 
 to that law states that " it is necessary for the support 
 of the government, for the discharge of the debts of 
 the United States, and the encouragement and protec- 
 tion of manufactures." In that law the duty on works 
 of art (being among " all other goods, wares and mer- 
 chandise not enumerated") was five per cent. In the 
 statute of August 10, 1780, "pictures and prints" were 
 subjected to a duty of ten per cent. With the excep- 
 tion of some slight variations, which, however, were 
 repealed within a year or so, the duty on works of art 
 remained at ten per cent, until the year 1883. 
 
 Now, if the duty on works of art is intended for the 
 protection of our home artists (for the whole sum which 
 foreign works of art bring in as revenue will not aver- 
 age thirty-five thousand dollars a year), let us see if they 
 have not just cause for complaint of having been very 
 much slighted as compared with producers in other 
 
PROTECTION, 305 
 
 branches, for almost all other articles have been succes- 
 sively raised in the tariff to forty, fifty, sixty, and one 
 hundred per cent, of their value. Again, they have 
 cause to complain that Americans working abroad are 
 not taxed on sending their works to the United States. 
 The artist in Europe has immense advantages in study- 
 ing and pursuing his calling which we have not yet in 
 the United States. Almost all the academies of art are 
 open to the foreigner on the same liberal terms as they 
 are to the citizens of the country in which they are 
 situated. As an artist, the American can live cheaper 
 abroad, and can study cheaper than he can at home. 
 His studio is cheaper, his models are cheaper, his ma- 
 terials are cheaper. He has the undisturbed use of 
 galleries and museums to aid in extending his knowl- 
 edge and in guiding and forming his judgment; and in 
 the art-markets of Europe, in the exhibitions, in the 
 salesrooms and in the studios, he sees more contempo- 
 rary art in a day than he could see at home in a year. 
 Turning to our compatriots of the brush and those of 
 the chisel, working abroad, we find that they are not 
 equally treated by our laws. The American sculptor 
 abroad can ship his works through our custom-house 
 entirely free of duty ; with the painter it is different : 
 it is only his canvas that is free, — on the frame he has 
 to pay a heavy duty. Now, the frame is essentially a 
 part of his picture. The picture is painted in the 
 frame, the colors are toned at the extremities of the 
 canvas to harmonize with the color of the gold. The 
 picture is, as it were, built into the frame which the 
 artist has chosen, and which he intends shall always 
 remain an indispensable and inseparable part of his 
 picture. 
 
 And now let us consider the question whether our 
 artists in general are, either pecuniarily or profes- 
 sionally, protected, or even benefited, by the present 
 law, or by a law which places the duty still higher. 
 
 I assume that an artist of acknowledged power 
 cannot suffer through the unhindered competition of 
 foreign works, inasmuch as an art-production is an ex- 
 pression of individuality which is not the result of a 
 u 20* 
 
306 THE HOME OF ART, 
 
 certain calculable outlay of capital, or of a specified 
 period of time for its completion, and not subject to the 
 same tests of comparison as one piece of manufactured 
 goods with another. The artist, therefore, whose style 
 and conception and execution find favor with an in- 
 tending purchaser, stands no less chance of selling his 
 work because it is surrounded by hundreds of others. 
 A person who is bent on purchasing a quiet domestic 
 scene, or a fancy head or a still life, is not likely to take 
 instead a gory battle-piece, or a terrific thunder-storm, 
 happening to be hanging on either side of it, merely 
 because those two stand higher as works of art than 
 the one whose subject suits him. On the other hand, 
 a mediocre artist, who is earnestly striving to better 
 himself, can' always learn something by seeing good 
 pictures near his own (it is a positive advantage to 
 him) ; but he need not fear the company of foreign pic- 
 tures any more than the company of native produc- 
 tions : in the midst of either home or foreign rivals each 
 work must stand on its own merits. 
 
 No one will be disposed to dispute the fact that in 
 Europe, where art has had its home almost since the 
 beginning of that country's histor}^ the best and high- 
 est of its works have been produced, and that even at 
 the present day its prestige is not lost. Not seeking 
 to make any comparison between the works of our 
 artists and those of foreigners, we must all admit that 
 the greatest number of good paintings and statues, 
 both relatively and absolutely considered, are still 
 made in Europe.* It is probably owing more to the 
 
 * It is the hackneyed saying of Americans, and we can see it in every 
 article written on art, that as figure-painters we have yet to make 
 our mark, but that our landscape painters are the best in the world 
 (I think we have got to prove the one assertion as well as the other). 
 Those who buy pictures abroad will rarely touch a landscape; I scarcely 
 know an assertion in art-matters more general than the above. The 
 train of reasoning which induces such people to this sweeping boast, and 
 which they have been kind enough to explain to me, is this ; they say 
 we have such grand scenery in America, such brilliant sunsets, such di- 
 versity of glowing colors in our autumnal foliage, that painters are never 
 at a loss for magnificent subjects, and that therefore our landscapists are 
 greater than any Europeans. These people don't know what the require- 
 ments for a picture are : the modern French school has shown us with 
 
PRIVATE ART GALLERIES. 307 
 
 fear of competition in quality than in price that animates 
 the upholders of a protective art-duty. 
 
 It is not every American artist that has the oppor- 
 tunity of going to Europe to study, and of seeing there 
 the best works of the best masters ; these, as well as 
 those who have already been abroad, and are now re- 
 turned, want to be kept posted up in contemporary art, 
 and hail with satisfaction every new acquisition from 
 foreign studios. The man who has nothing more to 
 learn is not yet an artist. The true artist will have 
 the desire to see the products of the various schools of 
 Europe, and of their best representatives, upon our own 
 walls in as large numbers as possible. 
 
 It is urged that foreign works of art are only bought 
 by our millionaires for their own private gratification, 
 and are shut up in their galleries, and that thus the 
 public reaps no advantages from such importations. 
 This is to some extent true. Yet these galleries are 
 not quite so inaccessible as most people suppose. The 
 owners are always glad, and at the same time proud to 
 show their treasures to all who take an interest in 
 
 what simple material the grandest landscape compositions and effects can 
 be produced. But it is useless trying to explain to such people that it is 
 a mistake to suppose that grand scenery, in itself, furnishes the best mo- 
 tives for pictures, or is capable of making good painters. It is a blind 
 prejudice, — it is giving oneself a certificate of mental povert3', not to ac- 
 knowledge that where the most thorough art-training is imposed there 
 the best artists in every branch will be formed. It is true, there are 
 some men who are artists " by the grace of God," — who have taken na- 
 ture alone for their study, and who have found out for themselves how 
 to translate it to their canvas, — but I believe such are fewer and farther 
 between than angels' visits. If we had to dej)end on them alone for our 
 works of art, pictures and statues would be about as scarce as comets. 
 
 No ; art must be pursued as a study. We must learn from those who 
 are ahead of us. — from those who have been before us. Nature must ever 
 be our great model, but art must teach us how to make ])r()j)cM- opj)liea- 
 tion of it. Old King Ludwig said the first thing he required of a painter 
 was that he should bo able to ])aint. lie meant by that that the greatest 
 genius would not help a man in art until ho had learned to handle his 
 pencil and his brush correctly. Jle meant that the best ideas would bo 
 of no use to others unless the possessor of them knew how to clothe them 
 in the dress that would make them understandable to others, lie meant 
 that a man must first learn what is allowable in art expression before ho 
 could make a composition. One cannot write a poem without first having 
 learned the language. 
 
308 ART AND LITERATURE. 
 
 them. Besides, there are often loan exhibitions in all 
 our cities to which all possessors of works of art gen- 
 erously contribute, and they are thus exposed to the 
 inspection of the student as well as the public. 
 
 We can never, of course, hope to have collections of 
 the works of the old masters on our shores such as the 
 museums and galleries and palaces and churches and 
 private houses from one end of Europe to the other 
 are able to show, for such works are all in hands that 
 will never part with them. The American student, if 
 not able to go abroad, can only study such works 
 through photographs and casts or through good copies. 
 But apart from the works of the old masters, there is 
 so much in the contemporary art of Europe worthy of 
 study that we should use every means in our power to 
 secure as many good specimens of it as possible, and 
 our government should surely lay no stumbling-block 
 in the way ; for art is not for one man's use, nor for 
 one class of people, but for all men. We don't think 
 of placing any tax on foreign musical productions,— 
 what sorry dogs we would be if we did! — and yet I 
 suppose we have some composers of negro melodies 
 and whining sentimental ballads who think they have 
 as good a right to be protected as the painter or the 
 sculptor, but heaven protect us when we begin to pro- 
 tect them. Look at our authors ; is not our country 
 overflooded with reprints of the literary products of 
 foreigners, which no law hampers? Would it not be 
 logical, from a congressional point of view, to say that 
 our people must read the works of our own writers for 
 the writers' benefit, — that they must pa}^ heavily for 
 the privilege of reading the works of foreigners ? 
 
 I am aware that some of our artists who take larger 
 views of matters in general than what is bounded by 
 the frames of their own canvases, are, and have been, 
 for a long time, in favor of admitting all legitimate 
 works of art free of duty. 
 
 To those weaker ones who clamor for governmental 
 protection, and whose arguments are dollars and cents, 
 let me say a few words in conclusion. I would like to 
 comfort them with the assurance that they would be 
 
THE AMERICAN ART-MARKET. 309 
 
 no losers by the passage of such a law ; I go so far as 
 to predict that, on the contrary, our artists would 
 profit pecuniarily thereby. 
 
 It is almost the rule with Americans who have a 
 taste for the fine arts and the means to gratify it, that 
 they put off making any purchases in that line till they 
 go to Europe. They know that there they have a 
 larger stock from which to make a selection. They 
 know that the American art-market does not particu- 
 larly bristle with foreign works. Our art-dealers do, 
 of course, import works of art from all parts of Europe, 
 because they must have something on hand, but they 
 are very cautious in the selection and in the quan- 
 tity of what they buy. Compare the stock of our 
 leading art-dealers with that of leading importers in 
 other branches, and see what a limited assortment 
 they have. If a work remains long on their hands and 
 they are obliged to sell by auction, they get much 
 lower prices for good pictures than the same would 
 fetch if sold under the same circumstances in Europe. 
 These same art-dealers know that they cannot hope to 
 sell American works of art, — cannot even get amateurs 
 to examine them unless they have a certain proportion 
 of foreign works to keep them company. But, the 
 stock of foreign pictures being small, the stock of 
 American ones must also be small. The American 
 purchaser therefore, as I have said, mostly waits till ho 
 makes a trip to Europe, for he will there have an op- 
 portunity of seeing works of art in vast quantities and 
 of all ranges of style and subject. As many different 
 dealers have each a work or works of the same artist, 
 the buyer is soon able to form an intelligent estimate 
 of the money value of each artist's productions. It' in- 
 ducements were held out to him to patronize more 
 freely our home dealers, he would be likely now and 
 then to buy an American picture too. 
 
 There is another class of Americans, who have a 
 desire to possess works of art, but who, not having 
 sufficient reliance on their own judgment, — not trusting 
 in their own knowledge in art-matters, — think they can 
 purchase more safely abroad, because they have the 
 
310 IMPORTATION OF PICTURES. 
 
 idea that only second- and third- and fourth-rate 
 works are sent to America, the really valuable things 
 finding, as tiiey think, a ready sale where they are 
 produced. Then, too, he is haunted by the fear that 
 he might be buying only a "copy" after all. He has 
 heard of the pleasures of visiting studios abroad, and 
 he can then satisfy himself by going to the artist in 
 person. Artists are generally full of blarney, and when 
 they catch a man in their studio, it is ten to one they 
 do not let him go out as heavy in pocket as when he 
 went in. At home, every man who has money, or who 
 is making money, is full of business; he has no time to 
 be running around studios. 
 
 Now, let us take off the duty entirely on works of 
 art (and I mean, too, the duty on frames, where the 
 frame is a bona fide part of the picture, and where it is 
 not of more value than the picture itself), and let us 
 try to imagine the result. 
 
 In the first place, the importation of foreign works 
 of art will increase. The art-dealers will extend their 
 galleries, and in order to vary and complete their stock 
 they will buy more American works than now. The 
 selling prices of foreign works being sensibly decreased, 
 the sales will be greater. The buying public will in- 
 crease in numbers ; but this very public,, by becoming 
 better acquainted both with foreign and American pro- 
 ductions, and by seeing them keeping company with 
 each other on the same walls, will be more apt to take 
 American works than now, for many of the subjects of 
 the latter will always please more, and be more under- 
 standable to them than those of foreigners. Good pic- 
 tures in Europe, as a general thing, bring better prices 
 than good American pictures in America. Our artists* 
 works, hanging side by side with those of Europe, will 
 thus gradually command higher prices, too, than they 
 now do. 
 
 By having as large and varied an assortment at 
 home as possible, we must aim at making our people 
 purchasers while they are at home, and at all times. 
 We should strive to make the going to Europe not 
 indispensable for the procuring of works of art. 
 
TEE TARIFF OF 1883. 311 
 
 As it now 18, the American, when he returns from 
 Europe, finds that he has been spending money there 
 freely, and he now determines to retrench his expenses ; 
 he brings with him enough articles of luxury to stock 
 his house with, and he has no room for more; he has 
 his daily routine of business cares to absorb his attention, 
 and he has, besides, no longer that elastic interest in 
 art which he had abroad. He generally, on his return, 
 sets himself to work with redoubled energy to make 
 up for what he has spent on his travels, and for what 
 he considers a loss of time, and he feels that he must 
 not throw away any more money at present on expen- 
 sive ornaments for the mere embellishment of his 
 house. He has become somewhat satiated with art on 
 his travels (not being accustomed to the diet), and 
 when he gets back to the land of the free and the 
 home of the brave, he sees more color in the glorious 
 stars and stripes that welcome him than in all the 
 canvases of Europe put together. He is less prone 
 than ever to encourage art at home. If we want to 
 secure his patronage we must catch him before he 
 goes abroad. 
 
 Note. — When the new tariff bill of March 3, 1883, was preparing, 
 some of our prominent artists at home, those who had received their art- 
 education abroad, took steps to call the attention of the Tariflf Commis- 
 sion to the views of the more intelligent and liberal-minded of their 
 craft in regard to the subject of protection, and urged that the then 
 existing duty of ten per cent, on foreign works of art should be removed. 
 The matter was taken up by our newspapers, and they seconded the 
 views of these artists. The arguments in support of these views were 
 ably set forth, and from the general interest taken in the subject it was 
 hoped that at last something would be done in the matter. 
 
 Something was done in the matter. 
 
 Great indeed was the surprise and indignation of all true lovers of art 
 and of intellectual progress to find that instead of the duty of ten per 
 cent, being repealed, it was suddenly raised to thirty per cent. Protests 
 went in from all American artists studying abroad, for they felt really 
 ashamed that in return for all the hospitality and the actual benefits 
 they had received at the hands of foreign nations — benefits that they 
 could never have at home — our government was going to treat those 
 nations in such a shabby and unheard-of manner. The great mass of our 
 artists at home joined their brethren in Europe in their appeal. 
 
 Many foreigners felt the new law to he so unjust that it was even 
 seriously proposed that American students be no longer admitted to the 
 academies on the same terms as natives and those of other countries, as 
 they had hitherto been, and that the government institutions anil public 
 
312 AN AMERICAN TRAVELLER. 
 
 exhibitions should not award any prizes or other tokens of merit to 
 American artists. But no such retaliatory measures were taken, and the 
 American has still the same advantages of study as he formerly had at 
 the academies of Europe. It is well known what^a number of Ameri- 
 cans have received their artistic education at the Ecole des Beaux Arts 
 in Paris free of charge, and what a number of medals and prizes have 
 been bestowed on them both by that institution and by the jury of the 
 Salon where their works have been exhibited. 
 
 The number of Americans who have studied at the Royal Art 
 Academy at Munich (enjoying exactly the same privileges as Bavarians) 
 is not so well known. The following are the numbers for the last 
 thirteen years: 1872,20; 1873, 26 ; 1874, 36 ; 1875, 35; 1876, 32; 1877, 
 35; 1878,42; 1879,37; 1880,39; 1881,39; 1882,39; 1883,44; 1884, 
 43. Of the above, about five per cent, were sculptors ; the rest were study- 
 ing in the antique classes, life schools, painting and composition schools. 
 Taking the average whole number of pupils at between five and six 
 hundred, we find that the Americans represented about seven per cent, 
 of all. During the last thirteen years fifty large silver medals, one 
 hundred and twenty-six small silver medals, and four hundred and 
 eighty-three bronze medals were distributed as prizes among the pupils; 
 of the first, the Americans gained three, or six per cent, of the whole; 
 of the second, fifteen, or twelve per cent, of the whole; and of bronze 
 medals, forty-six, or nine and one-half per cent, of the whole. 
 
 There is no prescribed limit to the period of a pupil's studies ; he may 
 remain within the hospitable walls of the Academy for eight or ten years 
 if he wants to. 
 
 CHAPTEK XX. 
 
 Traveller putting his watch in holy water holder — English notions of 
 rank — Bavarian holidays — Ride to Nymphenburg; people restoring 
 themselves — Trinkgeld — German cities celebrated for something in 
 the eating or drinking line. 
 
 We all know the story of the Western chap who 
 was accustomed to the freedom of the backwoods 
 coming to visit a friend in his sumptuously furnished 
 house in the city, and, chewing his quid with diligence, 
 expectorated promiscuously over the expensive velvet 
 carpet. The host gingerly pushed the spittoon with 
 the point of his foot within the range of the shower, 
 and shifted it from one point of the compass to the 
 other when he saw the man taking his aim. The 
 visitor always evaded the shining spittoon, and the 
 city man got warm in his endeavors to draw his fViend's 
 attention to it. At last the backwoodsman got out of 
 
AN AMERICAN TRAVELLER. 313 
 
 patience with these attentions, which interfered with 
 the easy flow of conversation, and broke out, "If you 
 don't take that derned thing out of the road, I'll spit in 
 it yet." 
 
 We smile at the ignorance of some people who do 
 not know the uses of things that are quite common to 
 us ; and even if they have never seen them before, we 
 think they ought instinctively to guess their purpose 
 and their meaning. 
 
 How many travellers go abroad and see things, and 
 have not the least idea of what they are for ; or, they 
 attribute some other use to them, and think themselves 
 smart for having discerned it so easily. 
 
 All through Bavaria, and in fact in all Catholic coun- 
 tries, especially in the rural districts, there is scarcely a 
 house that has not in at least one of its rooms, and gen- 
 erally in most of its rooms, a crucifix in the corner, and 
 a little receptacle for holy water hanging on the wall. 
 Especially in the bedrooms the latter is hardly ever 
 wanting. It is mostly of porcelain, gilt and painted, 
 and has a good deal the shape of a lady's slipper hung 
 up by the heel. A Yankee, on his first foot tour 
 through the Bavarian Alps, after a hard day's tramp, 
 came limping in, tired and foot-sore, at a little tavern, 
 and after refreshing himself with roast veal and beer, 
 was glad to be shown up at once to bed. The room 
 was a marvel of cleanliness ; the curtains at the win- 
 dow and the sheets of the bed were as white as snow. 
 Over the latter, and quite near the pillow, hung such a 
 holy water holder. Our friend was too sleepy to pay 
 much attention to his surroundings: he only saw that 
 everything was comfortable ; he jerked off his clothes, 
 wound up his watch, and glancing at the wall, exclaimed, 
 "Well, I'm flummoxed, if this isn't the greatest coun- 
 try for finish /oversaw, — they've even got a watch- 
 pocket for every guest," — deposited his watch in it, 
 popped out his candle, and rolled over to sleep. 
 
 The effect on the machinery after a good ten houiV 
 
 soaking may be imagined. Overnight the works had 
 
 became water-works. There was only one drawback, 
 
 — when they wore taken out of the water thoy wouldn't 
 
 o 27 
 
314 ENGLISH NOTIONS OF RANK. 
 
 go any more. The young man's reflections were not 
 holy when he discovered the mess he had made. 
 
 I cannot see why the business of a merchant or a 
 shop-keeper should be looked down upon as Basing less 
 noble than that of the physician, the lawyer, or the 
 divine. In all cases we have to pay for their commodi- 
 ties, and we certainly have a better standard for judg- 
 ing of the true value of what we get from our grocer 
 and our dry -goods man than of what we get from our 
 surgeon or our preacher. The salesman shows us his 
 goods and names his prices. If we are not satisfied 
 with either we can go to another shop, and thus are 
 able to institute an intelligent comparison. But for 
 the setting up of our bodies or our souls we have to 
 give our confidence or credit. We do not care about 
 breaking our leg a second time to see if another doctor 
 would patch us up quicker, nor can we well turn back 
 from the road to heaven under the guidance of one 
 pastor just to try if another one knows a shorter cut. 
 
 In the United States, it is true, we do not hold the 
 man who makes his living by buying, and then selling 
 again, in such contempt as they do in the old country, 
 nor are we able to draw the lines in the social scale as 
 finely as they do, for instance, in England. Every- 
 thing is graded there like a thermometer, and the 
 slightest difference in rank is notched in and noted, 
 beginning with those unknown and mythical depths 
 below zero, where it is hard to discern where the brute 
 creation gradually merges into the lowest forms of hu- 
 manity, coming up to the denizens of the slums of Lon- 
 don and other cities (and even there, we are told, there 
 are certain orders of precedence), going higher up and 
 higher up, line by line, until one approaches the illimita- 
 ble realms of distinction represented by majesty itself, 
 beyond the sphere of, and not conceivable, not un- 
 derstandable by common mortals like ourselves, and 
 millions of other dwellers on earth who do not enjoy 
 that celestial privilege of ruling — by divine right. 
 
 An English lady once objected to meeting some 
 friends of mine on the ground that they were below 
 
BA VARIAN HOLIDA VS. 315 
 
 her in rank. I represented to her that she freely asso- 
 ciated with others who were in the very same business, 
 and considered them sufficiently ^ood for her. She ex- 
 plained : "Ah, there's a great difference, you know, be- 
 tween one who sells in large quantities and one who 
 sells in small quantities; the one is a merchant and the 
 other is a tradesman, you know. The one may be a gen- 
 tleman, you know. A merchant has an opportunity of 
 raising himself to position ; he may have access to the 
 society of persons who are naturally above him. There 
 is a great difference between one who does business by 
 wholesale and one who does business by retail." So I 
 found out that her station condescended to go down as 
 far as a wholesale man or a manufacturer, but could not 
 cross the retail line. A man who sold by the gross might 
 approach her, but a man who sold by the piece must not 
 expect her to recognize him. A consul or a lawyer or a 
 clergyman, or even a literary fellow, were acceptable to 
 her. 
 
 Knowing that the limits of her station were the 
 wholesale limits, I was afterwards somewhat perplexed 
 about the propriety of introducing another friend to 
 her, who, I thought, was fit to hold his own in any 
 company ; but unfortunately, my friend was a retailer. 
 He did not even sell his things by the dozen (to say 
 nothing of by the gross), — he sold his goods singly, — 
 piece by piece. He was an artist. 
 
 I put the matter in that form to the lady. She 
 thought the joke was a poor one, — but she " caved." 
 
 Ours is said to be a rich country, and so indeed it is. 
 In one respect, however, we are poor, and that is in re- 
 gard to the number of our holidays. Take the case of 
 Bavaria, by contrast, and see what a small kingdom can 
 do in this respect. In Bavaria there arc, besides the Sun- 
 days, sixteen regular fixed holidays which are observed 
 all through the land. But in addition to these, each city, 
 each town, or each district has its special patron saint, 
 and his name-day is kept as a holiday at the respective 
 places, too. For instance, the patron saint of Munich 
 is Saint Benno, that of Augsburg Saint Uirich, etc. 
 
316 BAVARIAN HOLIDAYS. 
 
 On these holidays every business is closed, and they 
 are observed in the same manner as the Sundaj^s. 
 There is scarcely a month in which a holiday does not 
 fall; in many of the months there are two, or even 
 three. But June is the favored month in Munich : 
 there are no less than five holidays which may fall in 
 June ; now if there happen to be five Sundays besides, 
 there is a possibility of just ten days out of the thirty 
 being holidays. Of course such a concurrence of good 
 things is rare, for the most of these festivals having their 
 date dependent on that of Easter, some of them now 
 and then come in May, and some may be shoved over 
 into July, but Saint Benno is a constant fellow, and his 
 date is al^vays the 16th of June. You will find by 
 studying the almanac that there are, with the Sundays, 
 generally eight red-letter days observed in Munich in 
 June, very often nine, and never less than seven. And 
 on all these days the people devote themselves to pleas- 
 ure. When one of these holidays happens to fall on a 
 Sunday, of course the people are cheated out of half their 
 fun, for then they only get one holiday instead of two. 
 In fine weather, the whole population, dressed up in 
 its best, is seen swarming out in all directions to 
 places in the suburbs, or to places farther off. Those 
 who go by rail make their day's excursion to the Lake 
 of Starnberg or to the stations on tbe route, as Pasing, 
 Planegg, Gauting, and Miihlthal (where Charlemagne 
 is said to have been born), an idyllic gorge which gives 
 one a foretaste of the romantic scenery which one is 
 approaching. An hour's ride from the city brings one 
 to the magnificent lake, whose southern side is bor- 
 dered by the long chain of the Alps, with the Zugspitz, 
 nine thousand feet high, gleaming in the distance. 
 Others go to Murnau (on the road to Oberammergau) 
 to Miesbach, Tolz on the Tsar, Eosenheim and Aibling, 
 and some even as far as Lake Kochel, Lake Ammer, 
 Lake Chiem, Lake Schlier, or to the beautiful valley 
 of the Inn to Kufstein in Austria, and intermediate 
 places. Then there is the old town of Dachau, quite 
 near, with its fine park and magnificent view over the 
 plain, with Munich and the mountains at its end. 
 
BAVARIAN HOLIDAYS. 317 
 
 Schleissheim, with its beautiful rococo palace and ex- 
 tensive picture-gallery, is only half an hour's ride by 
 rail. Its grand park, laid out in Italian style, with 
 fountains, cascades, and basins, its long, straight ave- 
 nues of chestnuts and beeches, and its parterres of 
 flowers, which in the autumn are particularly brilliant, 
 is a favorite spot with the Munichers. Then there is 
 Grosshesselohe on the banks of the Isar, which are here 
 so picturesque, — the rising ground on both sides being 
 covered with a forest of magnificent old beeches, out of 
 which peep the turrets of Schwanthaler's castle. 
 
 Those who walk, or make use only of the tramway 
 or carriages, have a large number of pleasant places to 
 choose from. There is Nymphenburg, the royal palace, 
 with its extensive grounds laid out partly like an Eng- 
 lish park and partly in the French taste of the last 
 century. Although somewhat smaller than the famous 
 grounds of Versailles, the gardens of Nymphenburg 
 are not less lovely. The fountains, cascades, grottos, 
 temples, and lakes, and the sculptured accessories are 
 not on such a grand scale here, but they are admirably 
 adapted to and blended with the natural beauties of the 
 landscape. The interior of the palace and the interi- 
 ors of the Badenburg and the Amalienburg in the most 
 flowery rococo, and the Saint Magdalen Chapel, built 
 to represent a ruined abbey, with its spring of blessed 
 water, believed to be good for the cure of sore eyes, are 
 well worth seeing. Near at hand is the royal stag 
 park, and just outside of the palace grounds is a large 
 public concert-garden. 
 
 There is also Harlaching on the heights of the Isar 
 just above the city, commanding lovely views. Hero 
 Claude Lorraine spent several summers making sky 
 studies. He came from sunny Italy for that purpose. 
 There is a monument erected to his memory at this 
 place. 
 
 Then there are pleasant gardens at Sendling, Nou- 
 hausen, Forstenried, Brunnthal, Thalkirchon, Bogen- 
 hausen, besides numbers of places in the English Gai*- 
 den itself, and in the Isar park. At every plaeo^ there 
 is music and gayety. 
 
 27* 
 
318 RIDE TO NYMPHENBURG, 
 
 In bad weather, on holidays, the concert-halls and 
 beer-saloons and all places of amusement in the city 
 are filled to overflowing. 
 
 Large as is the number of red-letter days on the Ba- 
 varian calendar, it was in former times still larger; 
 even now, scarcely a session of the parliament passes 
 without the subject of reducing it being brought up 
 for discussion, but the motion finds little favor with 
 the people, who are very tenacious of all customs, and 
 are most conservative in their views when any measure is 
 suggested which might serve to curtail their enjoyments. 
 
 The road from Munich to I*^ymphenburg is lined on 
 both sides with fine old limes (planted in 1758), which 
 meet overhead, and one seems to be driving through a 
 vast arbor or continuous green arcade. In the early sum- 
 mer, when the trees blossom, the perfume is delicious. 
 
 In the short distance between the Propylean and the 
 royal palace at Nymphenburg, which is about four 
 English miles, there are at least some fifty taverns or 
 ^' restaurations," dedicated on their signs to every town, 
 place, country, and nation in existence, — to every bird, 
 quadruped, and reptile known, — to every deity, — to 
 every virtu^e, either cardinal or otherwise. In fact, there 
 are so many taverns that one would be led to think 
 that the very hardest work the publican would have 
 to do (which generally consists in going around among 
 his guests and wishing them "good appetite," or, 
 ^^ May it well agree with you") would be in hunting 
 up a name for his establishment which is not already 
 in use. 
 
 I remember once driving to Nymphenburg with a 
 friend on a beautiful summer's day, — it was a Sunday ; 
 we had first driven through the English Garden, and 
 had seen there the swarms of people streaming in from 
 the city. They had overflowed all the public places of 
 entertainment. Every table was occupied, every bench 
 was filled, and thousands who found no room to sit had 
 spread themselves on the grass, with their beer-mugs 
 by their side, a picturesque continuity of imbibing and 
 enjoying humanity. In this avenue too, through which 
 
RIDE TO NYMPHENBURO, 319 
 
 we were now driving, before each public-house crowds 
 of people were sitting, drinking their beer. My friend 
 was a Philadelphian, and Philadelphians are thirsty 
 fellows, notwithstanding the respectability of their 
 grandfathers; he had sympathy with the people, and 
 it gave him unbounded pleasure to read the names on 
 the signs, and his standing joke all along the way, and 
 repeated about every quarter of a minute, was, "Hello, 
 here are more people ^ restoring' themselves/' 
 
 But his pleasantry eventually fell into a strain of 
 philosophizing. He said it seemed to him that the 
 people of Munich were incessantly restoring them- 
 selves; that they never left off; and he began to work 
 out the problem as to how the people ever found time 
 to get into the position of needing to restore them- 
 selves. He said it was like a watch ; if you kept on 
 winding it up all the time, you never put it in a posi- 
 tion to need winding up, — you never gave it a chance to 
 go. 
 
 My friend might have carried on his philosophical 
 train of reasoning still further, but we now drove up to 
 the great oval place in front of the palace, and the big 
 fountain springing up from the pile of rocks in the 
 centre of the basin gleamed in the sunlight, and its 
 wavering spray fell like showers of jewels. Here there 
 was comparative quiet: only a few groups of people 
 were sauntering along the broad walks leading to the 
 palace. It was no wonder, my friend said, — how was 
 it possible to be otherwise? — all Munich, he was con- 
 vinced, with the exception of these few loungers and 
 ourselves, was sitting in the " restaurations" along the 
 road we had passed, and in the English Garden, and 
 therefore there could be nobody left. He had been 
 making a mental calculation of the probable numbers 
 we had seen out of doors, and when I told him what 
 the actual population was, he had come to the conclu- 
 sion that, with the exception of the bedridden and the 
 fellows in the prisons, we had seen every blessed indi- 
 vidual of the place. What w^as his astonishment, 
 therefore, when we wdieeled into the cafe on the left, 
 just to " restore" ourselves, this time, before going into 
 
320 TRJNKOELD. 
 
 the park, to find an immense garden, bigger than any 
 he had seen yet, crowded to its utmost capacity with 
 thousands of people, and every man, woman, and child 
 with either a cup of coffee or a glass of beer before 
 them, as if it were a fresh freight of population sent 
 there on purpose to surprise him. 
 
 That the Germans are a thirsty people is well shown 
 in the word they have for any gratuity they receive for 
 any service. We call it a tip, — they call it " trinkgeld" 
 — di'ink-money, — and they're not ashamed to say so. 
 Whenever they do anything extra for you, they expect 
 to take a drink on it, — and there are so many little 
 extra things in Germany. Wherever there is a fixed 
 price for any service one must always give a trifle over. 
 It is true, they are satisfied with a small sum in general, 
 and it is always best to give it. Our people are not less 
 generous than any other on the face of the earth, but 
 I believe they are often deterred from offering a few 
 phennigs in this way from motives of delicacy, — for fear 
 they might hurt the feelings of the persons who have 
 rendered them a service. They imagine it would be 
 insulting to a party who is the wearer of some kind of 
 uniform or who is well dressed, and apparently well to 
 do, to slip something into his hand. But only let them 
 try it. They will find that it is taken in good part, and 
 they will receive a polite dofiing of the cap, and cheer- 
 ful thanks for it. A traveller is often in need of some 
 little outside service on the part of a railroad or post- 
 office or custom-house official ; these are always ready 
 to render it, and a little token from the traveller in the 
 form of a trinkgeld makes things go more smoothly. 
 I am told it is sometimes done in the case of the latter 
 class of officials even in the United States, — only we have 
 another word for it there. 
 
 The mistake the American abroad generally makes 
 is that either he gives nothing, or, when he does give, 
 he gives entirely too much. It may be snobbishness or 
 it may be ignorance on their part, — I am inclined to 
 think it is the latter. 
 
 One of the most embarrassing things for a stranger is, 
 
TRINKQELD, 321 
 
 on leaving a hotel, for all the waiters with their white 
 shirt-bosoms and shining black swallow-tails and their 
 sleekly-combed hair, the porters and the boot-blacks, 
 and that pompous individual who inhabits a little ken- 
 nel near the entrance door, and called for that reason 
 the portier, — all stand up in an avenue (through which 
 you have to pass) to see you off, and each beaming face 
 is one of expectancy, and each helping hand is one of 
 graspancy. The chambermaids, though they are not 
 allowed to leave their floor, always manage to hover 
 around in a general manner when they know you are 
 going to leave your room for the last time. 
 
 If you take a cab, the driver is alwaj^s thirsty when 
 he jumps down from his box to let you out. 
 
 If jon go to a picture-gallery or a church, or a 
 museum, or public collection of any kind, you will find 
 that the attendants are in a chronic state of thirst. 
 
 If you are at a restaurant, or a cafe, or a beer-house, 
 it is always good to be careful that the waiter or 
 waitress does not get too dry, by giving a few phennigs 
 over and above the account. 
 
 It would swell this volume considerably if I were to 
 give a full list of cases where a trinkgeld is acceptable, 
 but it would all go to prove the correctness of the as- 
 sertion made at the beginning of this article, that the 
 Germans are a very thirsty people. 
 
 But the Germans are fond of good eating too. There 
 is scarcely a city in the empire that is not celebrated 
 for some delicacy in the edible line that is as well known 
 to the masses as Cincinnati hogs or Jersey lightning 
 with us. 
 
 For instance, there is Braunschioeiger Leberwurst, 
 Gothaer Cervelatwurst, Danziger Marzipan, Leipziger 
 Allerlei, Nurnherger Lebkuchen, Offenhacher Pfefter- 
 niisse, Mainzer Handkiise, Kieler S])rotten, Westphdli- 
 scher Schinken, Aachener Prenton, Hamburger Ilaiich- 
 fleisch, Strassburger Ganseleberpastcte, Wiener Schnitzl, 
 and hosts of others. 
 
 Then in the way of drinks, take up any wine-card, 
 and see what a number you will find of wines which 
 
322 BEER. 
 
 are universally known by the name of the town or the 
 province where they are produced. There is Danziger 
 Goldwasser, iVbr^Aaw5(3r Branntwein, Frankfurter Aq^^qI- 
 wein, Berliner Blonde, Leipziger Gose, and, — coming 
 down to Munich, — what is Munich celebrated for? — 
 for its BEER 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 Beer: introductory — Beer-drinking must be begun in infancy — Amer- 
 ican ideas of beer-drinking — How tbe German drinks — American 
 perfecting himself in beer-drinking — No humbug in the measure of 
 beer — The initials on the mugs — Origin of beer — History of beer — 
 Meaning of the word beer — Approach of spring — Bock — Radishes — 
 History of bock — Salvator beer — Breweries in Munich — Consumption 
 , of beer — Consumption of beer in Munich — But little drunkenness — Tee- 
 total ideas in America — Percentage of alcohol in Bavarian beer — Pro- 
 cess of making beer — Laws in regard to brewing — Taxes on beer — 
 Salaries of brewers. 
 
 It would be but a poor work on Munich if one 
 chapter were not devoted to beer; most of the people 
 there devote their whole lives to it. Bavaria takes the 
 lead of all nations in its consumption of beer, but 
 Munich out-beers all Bavaria, and it is no more than 
 proper that the chief characteristics of a nation should 
 culminate at its capital. 
 
 In this country, beer is the great constitutional, politi- 
 cal, and social lever. Kings may depart and fresh kings 
 ascend the throne, new constitutions may be demanded 
 by the people, — and granted them or refused them, — 
 treaties after a war may nip off a piece of their land, 
 or add territory to it, — and everything soon settles into 
 its usual course, but let any social, religious, or political 
 question arise that might, directly or indirectly, inter- 
 fere with the quality or the price of their beer, and the 
 Bavarians would be up in arms. Munich has seen 
 several beer riots within its walls. 
 
 Beer is the great absorbing subject of interest for 
 
BEER, 323 
 
 every true Bavarian. Beer is the staple topic for de- 
 bate, and the starter of sociability between acquaint- 
 ances or strangers. People are relieved here from 
 taking the everlasting weather as an opener to conver- 
 sation; when a new-comer joins you at table, his first 
 remark is, " How is the beer to-day?" — that leads on 
 to a delightful avenue of comment and counter-com- 
 ment, which may branch off to other paths of discourse, 
 or may prove fascinating enough to detain the enthu- 
 siastic worshippers of Gambrinus within its bounds 
 during the whole sitting. 
 
 Prom one end of the year to the other beer is drunk. 
 It never gives out ; its spring is perennial. 
 
 Game has its time to fall ; 
 Fresh vegetables come but once a year, 
 And Christmas once, — but thou hast all — 
 All seasons for thine own, oh beer. 
 
 Almost every nation has some old-fogy saying, that 
 such and such a thing is " gold in the morning, silver 
 at noon, and lead at night ;" it is only varied by sub- 
 stituting some diflPerent edible as being thus fluctuating 
 in its qualities. With some people it is cheese, with 
 some it is fruit, and with others it is always some ar- 
 ticle which we would just like to enjoy when we feel 
 most like partaking of it, without having to pull out 
 our watch to see if the hour is correct for its consump- 
 tion. But the traditions of beer are unhampered with 
 any such restrictions. Beer is gold at all times, and 
 the Munich man will prove it to you : it suits to every- 
 thing in the eating line ; it goes well with breakfast, 
 dinner, or supper; and even between times, it tastes no 
 worse if taken alone. It cools one in the heats of sum- 
 mer and it cheers one in the chill of December. It is 
 the grandest thing in the world when one is right 
 thirsty, and it is equally so when one is not thirsty ; 
 and the Bavarian w^ould be able to prove that also, even 
 though he cannot do it from his own experience, for ho 
 never happens to be in the latter state, and he does not 
 allow himself to get to the extreme limits of the Ibrmer, 
 for he plies himself with beer prospectively, that a 
 
324 BEER. 
 
 parching thirst may not overtake him. A man here 
 could not get along without beer all his life any more 
 than he could get along without air, and it is a ghastly 
 little joke to say that even after death he can't get along 
 without his bier. 
 
 The Bavarian could not have brought the science of 
 beer-drinking to its present state of perfection if he did 
 not begin at infancy. Nature teaches us that those or- 
 ganisms are the most perfectly developed that are of 
 slow growth. To begin in later life to qualify oneself 
 as a beer-drinker, would be to begin an art at its flow- 
 ery extremities instead of at its source ; it would be 
 like expecting to be perfect in rhetoric without having 
 learned to speak, to be perfect in spelling without 
 having learned the alphabet ; it would be like plunging 
 into the water before we had learned to swim ; it would 
 be like trying to get to the top of a ladder without 
 starting at its bottom rounds. No ; the Bavarian be- 
 gins ah incunahilis. The babe at the breast is given its 
 first sip of beer. Before it is more than a year old it is 
 knowing in the matter of beer, and claps its hands 
 joyfully when it sees the sparkling brown juice in the 
 mug. Before it can walk it is generally honored with 
 the present of a miniature beer-glass, which becomes 
 as necessary a table equipment for it as the spoon it 
 eats with. When the child is able to run about, it is 
 taken by its parents to the beer-houses and the beer- 
 gardens, and it there clutches the heavy mug of its 
 father or its mother with both its fists, and immerses 
 its beak into it like the older persons around. The 
 magic attractions of beer already begin to work their 
 charm, for it keeps the children from straying away. 
 They may play around at a short distance from the 
 table, but they do not go out of sight of it, and return 
 to it from time to time to take a swig. As they ad- 
 vance in years and are put to the primary school, 
 they become more sedentary at the beer-table ; they 
 then have a glass of their own. It is quite astonishing 
 to see how many children are sitting quietly, with 
 their elders, for hours, instead of romping around as 
 children in other countries would do. Their taste be- 
 
BEER. 325 
 
 ginR to form ; they wait expectantly for the tapping 
 of a fresh barrel, and they are already judges of the 
 quality of beer, and can talk about it like connoisseurs. 
 When the}" get to the higher schools, the gymnasiums, 
 the academies, and the universities, their imbibing pro- 
 pensities have developed to an enormous extent. The 
 universit}^ student, in particular, becomes an adept in 
 beer-drinking, — whatever else he studies, this art he 
 pursues con amove, 
 
 I have (living so long in Bavaria, and having made 
 special investigations there) called beer-drinking an 
 art. We have no idea in America how beer should be 
 drunk. I have always thought we get but little satis- 
 faction from our eating and drinking, from the manner 
 in which we gulp it down. What we call a bar is 
 certainly a bar to the enjoyment of what we imbibe 
 and what we devour. We scarcely give it time to get 
 a taste of it. No wonder the Indian wished his neck 
 a mile long that he might taste the whiskey all the way 
 going down. In the way of eating and drinking almost 
 all nations can teach us something. In the matter of 
 drinking we can learn most from the Germans. 
 
 The German does not drink as much as he does 
 through any unnatural craving for drink, or from the 
 promptings of intemperance, or to kill time, or to 
 drown his sorrows, but simply because he enjoys it. 
 And because he enjoys it he drinks much. But to ar- 
 rive at this happy consummation, the thing must be 
 done scientifically. The great secret of being able to 
 drink much is to drink slowly. 
 
 The German is noted for his philosophical persever- 
 ance and patience in all things. Note him when ho 
 goes to a beer-house. If the locality is such that ho 
 can see the barrel from which the beer is drawn, ho 
 first takes a scrutinizing look at it. If it is lying flat 
 on its belly on its wooden horse, he knows that it has 
 but lately been tapped, and he sits down and is ready 
 for his beer. If the barrel is very much tilted over to- 
 wards the front, he knows it will soon be empty. Ho 
 then somewhat delays taking his scat, or ho strolls 
 around under pretence of hunting a bettor place, or 
 
 28 
 
326 BEER, 
 
 passes a few words with acquaintances in different 
 parts of the hall or the garden, as the case may be, for 
 he is cunningly waiting for a fresh barrel to be tapped. 
 Being once at the table, he has scarcely settled him- 
 self, when, without his asking for it, a pint glass or a 
 quart mug (according to the locality he is in) is set be- 
 fore him. He sits quietly for a few moments to com- 
 pose himself, glancing with satisfaction on the scene 
 around him. Having rooted himself comfortably on 
 the chair or bench, — for he is not disposed to leave it 
 very soon, — he slowly raises the vessel, and with a 
 dexterous motion of his thumb causes the pewter lid to 
 fly back on its hinges. If it be a glass he has, the ice- 
 cold beer has caused its outward surface to be covered 
 with a pearly moisture which looks like bronzed frost- 
 work. He raises the glass still higher so as to bring 
 it between his eyes and the light, and takes a critical 
 look at its color ; then he nears it to his lips, and takes 
 a long pull. But the pull is only long in duration, for 
 when he sets down the glass and carefully closes the 
 lid, you find that only about a fifth of the beer has dis- 
 appeared. If he be at a brewery or a cellar where the 
 beer is drunk from high stone mugs, he opens the lid 
 and looks lovingly into the foam, as he can form an 
 opinion (from the color and consistency of the same) 
 of the quality of the beer before tasting it. If the foam 
 makes big eyes, as the expression is, and the bubbles 
 rapidly burst, be shakes his head deprecatingly. If, on 
 the contrary, the foam is of a soft, warm, whitish color, 
 and creamy in its consistency, and covers the beer only 
 to the depth of half an inch ; if it remains long in that 
 state without showing any signs of dissolving; if it 
 adheres to the inner side of the lid like the snow of 
 fresh-beaten eggs, a beaming smile of satisfaction over- 
 spreads his countenance. His first glass is taken for 
 thirst, or for the nearest approach to real thirst that 
 he ever allows himself to arrive at, and it may, per- 
 haps, be empty in the course of ten or fifteen minutes. 
 The succeeding glasses are more slowly emptied, and 
 from twenty minutes to half an hour are devoted to 
 each. In refilling the glasses no time is wasted. The 
 
BEER. 327 
 
 attendants go round with Argus eyes on the lookout 
 for empty glasses : to see one standing for more than a 
 moment after it has been taken from the lips is a hor- 
 ror to any right-minded waiter or waitress. Without 
 their asking " by your leave" it is immediately snatched 
 away, and is soon brought again refilled to the guest. 
 These attendants have a most wonderful talent for 
 noting the number of each glass, and for keeping a 
 running account of the number of glasses each guest 
 has drunk. They will often gather up from eight to 
 twelve empty glasses at a time from as many guests, 
 and in returning them they never make a mistake. 
 Each man gets his own glass back again. 
 
 I once knew an enthusiastic American who wanted 
 to perfect himself in beer-drinking after the Bavarian 
 model. Of course he started too -late in life as a beer- 
 drinker to inspire any discerning judge with the hope 
 that he would ever more than partially succeed. But 
 the young man was earnest, and full of confidence. 
 He had gone through a bad system of schooling, and 
 there was much to be unlearned. He had been accus- 
 tomed to take his malt down at a jerk, according to our 
 fashion, and always standing, so that it might go down 
 even more quickly. He had great difficulty in getting 
 out of this habit. He always took too much at one 
 swallow, and his first glass was empty in no time ; and 
 then, he was already satiated with his pint, and could 
 drink no more ; for his second glass he had no relish. 
 After meeting with but indifferent success in his study, 
 he told me in confidence that he had at last hit on a 
 capital plan which could not fail. He was going to 
 gauge his glass into a certain number of swallows, and 
 then, by laying his watch on the table, he would take 
 a certain number of minutes' rest between, and, he said, 
 he should not be satisfied until he had brought him- 
 self so far as to require just half an hour to each glass. 
 
 Of the quality of the Bavarian beer, and also of the 
 quantities consumed, I shall speak farther on : I only 
 want to remark in this place that in the measure of the 
 beer one gets there is no humbug. The law requires 
 that each glass and each mug shall bear on its out- 
 
328 BEER. 
 
 side the governmental attestation as to its capacity. 
 A horizontal line is ground into the glass or stone 
 showing the exact level which the liquid must have. 
 This line dare not be less than one centimetre (half an 
 inch) from the rim, so as to allow for the foam. The 
 vessels must be filled to that mark with beer. Woe to 
 the publican who does not come up to the scratch. If, 
 in the hurry of business, such a thing does occasionally 
 happen, the guest is not slow to send his glass back to 
 be properly filled, accompanied with some compli- 
 mentary German epithets which would more than fill 
 a barrel. 
 
 The unit of liquid measure in Germany is, as in 
 France, the litre (something over a quart). Each mug 
 holding that quantity must be stamped with the letter 
 L before the stroke ; if a half-glass, with } L, so that 
 there can be no mistake as to its real capacity. Be- 
 fore the introduction of the new weights and measures, 
 in 1874, the unit for liquids in Bavaria was the mass 
 (the measure), and the stone jugs were marked with 
 an M. 
 
 It is so customary to display the initials of the reign- 
 ing monarch as an emblem all over, as, for instance, on 
 the helmets of the soldiers, on the boxes of the royal 
 opera-house, etc., that one begins to accept the sign as 
 having that meaning only, and no other. An Ameri- 
 can who stopped at Munich during the palmy days of 
 King Maximilian's reign, and who pursued his studies 
 with greater assiduity at the Eoyal Court Brewery 
 than at any other institution, returned some ten years 
 later (during which time he had been gathering useful 
 knowledge) when King Ludwig the Second was on the 
 throne. Our friend was not slow in resorting to his 
 favorite place, the Court Brewery. When he got his 
 mug he was at once struck with the alteration of the 
 letter on it. " Well, I'm dod dasted," he said, " if these 
 Bavarians aren't the most loyal people I ever saw, — 
 even on their beer-mugs, — formerly it was always M for 
 Maximilian, and now it's L for Ludwig." 
 
 But I have thus far been talking of the drinking of 
 beer only, I must now come to the article itself. 
 
BEER. 329 
 
 The origin of beer, like that of many of the best in- 
 stitutions of this world, is lost in the gray mists of an- 
 tiquity. It is very natural that wine should have been 
 the beverage to have been first invented, for it is made 
 of a single ingredient, whioh in its natural state is 
 pleasant to the taste. It must have been a fine mind 
 to conceive that in a combination of hops and barley, 
 neither of which are palatable in their separate states, 
 one of the most delicious beverages should come to 
 light. Perhaps, like many other great inventions, it 
 was the result of chance. The invention is generally 
 ascribed to King Gambrinus, whose fame was further 
 exalted by his example of personally testing to his full 
 capacity the practical merits of his invention. But 
 since our faith in William Tell and other great charac- 
 ters has been so terribly shaken within the last few 
 years, we cannot rest too confidingly on the above hy- 
 pothesis. Prosaic minds, even now, contend that Gam- 
 brinus is but a corruption of Jan Primus (John the 
 First) of Flanders, who flourished in the thirteenth 
 century. 
 
 Although in pretty early chapters of the Bible we 
 are made acquainted with the composition of wine and 
 of its effects on certain steady old heroes, no mention 
 whatever is made there of beer: the latter seems to 
 have originated with the Germans about the beginning 
 of the Christian era. Tacitus mentions that the Ger- 
 mans used a liquor made of barley or other grain that 
 was nearly as good as wine. In the chronicles of the 
 twelfth century we find dissertations on the manner of 
 brewing. Already in the eighth century the word 
 beer-barrel occurs. In 1575 a doctor of the laws, 
 Heinrich Knaust, wrote a work entitled " Five books 
 on the godlike and noble gifts of the philosophical, 
 highly prized, and wonderful art of brewing beer; an 
 exquisite and philosophical secret ; a particular gift of 
 God to mankind that it may discover, know, and com- 
 prehend how to force a delicious, sweet, white or red, 
 hoppy, palatable drink from the preparation and cook- 
 ing of wheat or barley, that those people may have en- 
 tertainment in whoso land no wine grows, and who 
 
 28^ 
 
330 BEER, 
 
 would otherwise be doomed to drink nothing but 
 water." 
 
 It will be seen from the above with what affectionate 
 care the subject was treated three hundred years ago. 
 Even for centuries before that time beer seems to have 
 been considered a "Godlii^e gift," for it is a notable fact 
 that the earliest breweries were founded by monks of 
 various orders, and those pious men knew as well what 
 was good for the palate as for the soul ; and to the 
 present day, some of the very best beer that is brewed 
 is produced in the cool vaults of the monasteries. 
 
 Breweries were in existence in Bavaria previous to 
 the founding of the city of Munich by Henry the Lion 
 in 1158, but up to the fifteenth century the principal 
 drinks of the inhabitants were mead (a fermented 
 mixture of water, honey, and various fragrant herbs), 
 and the wines from Tyrol, from Italy, and from Bava- 
 ria itself. One of the first breweries in Bavaria was 
 the one established in the year 1146 at Weihenstephan 
 (the present brewers' academy) by the bishop of Freis- 
 ing. One of the oldest breweries in Munich was the 
 one belonging to the "Holy Ghost Hospital," founded 
 in 1286. In the year 1325, under the reign of the 
 Emperor Louis, the Bavarian, there was already a 
 court brewery established at Munich, which was the 
 property of the crown. In 1370 there were but three 
 breweries in Munich, which number, in the course of 
 two centuries, had increased to fifty-three. 
 
 In the sixteenth century wheat beer was introduced 
 into Munich from Bohemia, and threatened in the be- 
 ginning to supersede the brown beer, but the opinion 
 soon began to be held that white beer was not whole- 
 some, and, moreover, it was contended that the con- 
 sumption of wheat for that purpose would soon 
 drain the country of that cereal and there would be 
 none left for other uses. Different measures were taken 
 to restrict the brewing of white beer, all of which 
 proved failures ; at last the Duke of Bavaria took to 
 himself the sole right of brewing it, and thus was es- 
 tablished the Royal White Beer Brewery at Munich, 
 which exists to the present day. 
 
BEER. 331 
 
 The word beer is a general term for the luscious fluid 
 made of malt and hops, but in Bavaria, and more par- 
 ticularly in Munich, there are several distinct kinds of 
 beer which have their individual appellations. Winter 
 beer and summer beer are the same, except that the 
 latter is made somewhat stronger for the purpose of 
 making it keep better. This is the beer that is drunk 
 all the year round. At home we are accustomed to 
 calling all beer lager beer, but lager beer is properly 
 only the summer beer. 
 
 At the approach of spring, in Munich, its heralds do 
 not always take the form of buds and blossoms, nor 
 does one have to depend for one's reckoning on the 
 more than one swallow to make a summer. The Mu- 
 nich man has other signs to tell him of the coming of 
 spring. 
 
 On walking the streets of the city, one notices that 
 many of the beer-houses are garnished with a large, 
 fragrant spruce-tree fresh from the woods, standing in 
 a little keg of water on either side of the door-way. 
 Above the door-way is a circular painting, like a target, 
 representing a goat, rampant, with one of his fore feet 
 resting on a flowing glass of beer, which he is tilting 
 over. The goat is often decorated with a blue ribbon 
 around its neck, and the whole composition is wreathed 
 round with fresh spruce boughs as a frame. What 
 does this mean ? It means that there the famous 
 Munich Bock, or buck beer is to be had. This is com- 
 menced to be drunk in the early months of the year, 
 and therefore the Munich man knows that spring is 
 soon coming. After dragging through the cold and 
 the snow and the slush and sleet of winter, the first 
 balmy days of March or April always fill us with an 
 indescribable longing to rush away from our daily pur- 
 suits and our daily haunts, and to speed off" from the 
 city — from the labyrinths of brick and stone and mor- 
 tar, and the confining streets — to fresh fields, — to the 
 open country, — on, on, we know not where. The im- 
 agination is heightened, — wo picture to ourselves the 
 joys of travel, — wo are itching to experience again the 
 sensations which new scenes call up in the breast, — wo 
 
332 • BEER. 
 
 feel ourselves all at once much younger, and more elas- 
 tic, and we walk more briskly than is our usual wont, 
 as we sniff the first breath of the sun-warmed air of 
 returning spring. A curious emotion of unrest seizes 
 us, — it is a burning desire to get away. It is an inborn 
 feeling we cannot account for, and it returns regularly, 
 as each new spring approaches. I suppose it is some- 
 thing akin to that of the early flowers, which leaves 
 them no rest in the dull earth any longer, but forces 
 them to shoot up into the free air, and into light. 
 
 But not the most fragrant violets or lilies of the 
 valley, those sweet harbingers of their brighter, but 
 not more lovely sisters, could stir up those feelings of 
 spring-tide unrest in the breast of the Munich man 
 more strongly than the sight of the rampant buck over 
 the beer-house door. 
 
 Passing in through the green boughs and into the 
 broad hall-way, which is also decorated with garlands 
 of spruce and fir, redolent of the breath of the forest, 
 the Municher feels himself half in the country alreadj^ 
 The scene is one of joyousness and hilarity; it is about 
 ten in the morning; the kellnerins are rushing to and 
 fro, with each hand clutching five or six tall, foam- 
 ing glasses. There is a continuous buzz of laughing 
 and chatting guests, to which the merry strains of a 
 small orchestra of fiddle and flute, clarionet and harp, 
 perched up somewhere on a raised platform, form a 
 pleasant accompaniment. When a very favorite and 
 popular air is started up by the musicians, the guests 
 join in the chorus with their voices. An indispensable 
 adjunct of the bock is the fresh radish, which makes its 
 appearance at the same season. These are hawked 
 about by old women (a peculiar Munich type), who 
 dump you down a little pile of salt from an old wine- 
 bottle, on a radish leaf, or on a piece of paper, or on 
 the bare table. The preparation of this radish is quite 
 a science. It is first carefully pared, and then sliced 
 from top to near the bottom in thin sheets (and in this 
 operation the skill of the cutter is demonstrated). The 
 radish is then opened like a book, and each leaf care- 
 fully spread with salt, and then closed again. In a 
 
BEER. 333 
 
 few minutes it is taken up in the fist and well squeezed, 
 when the water runs out of it in streams like the juice 
 from a lemon, and the flesh becomes soft and flabby, 
 and then it is ready to be eaten. It is said that by 
 this process the deleterious properties of the plant are 
 destroyed and it becomes a most health-giving esculent. 
 
 But the bock itself; I am afraid I could not do it 
 justice in a description of my own ; I will give it in 
 the words of the old chronicler Johannes Letzner in a 
 work published in Erfurt in 1596, in which he says, 
 " It has a fine, cooling, spicy, cleanly, and lovely taste. 
 When the bock (Eimbeck beer) possesses a good color, 
 a healthy odor, and clean taste, so is it a glorious, 
 praiseworthy, wholesome beer and a delectable drink, 
 whereof a man, without being robbed of his reason and 
 without any injury to his health, can well be joyful, for 
 it does not weight the body as other beers do. It stim- 
 ulates and refreshes the light, ardent heart, quenches 
 the thirst, and is, withal, exceedingly wholesome and 
 useful to the sick." 
 
 The present bock possesses all thq above-mentioned 
 qualities. 
 
 The bock, nowhere else better than in Munich, is not 
 a Bavarian invention. It was first brewed in the town 
 of Eimbeck, in Hanover, at the beginning of the six- 
 teenth century. The word bock is said to be derived 
 from the name of the above town. The sign of the 
 rampant buck evidently took its rise from the supposed 
 effects of the beer, it being likely to butt one over if 
 too much trifled with. Dauel von Fiirstenberg, writing 
 from Frankfurt in 1569, in a work called the " Dancing 
 Devil," says, " At this time there is in Munich a 
 brewage so good and so strong that it can knock down 
 nine monks and talk out of their bodies for three days 
 afterwards." 
 
 The bock was early brought to Munich in great 
 quantities, where it found immense favor. It was 
 soon brewed there, and the city of the little monk 
 became famous all over Germany for its bock. Duko 
 Erich of Brunswick, at the diet of Worms in 1521, 
 handed his friend Martin Luther a silver can full of 
 
334 BEER, 
 
 bock. The great reformer emptied the can with 
 much gusto, and said, "As this day Duke Erich has 
 been thoughttul of me, so may our Lord be thoughtful 
 of him in his last agony." 
 
 But there is still another beer in Munich which 
 makes its appearance but once a year (in the spring) 
 and is sold only for a short number of days, — it is even 
 stronger than the bock, — the Salvator beer. 
 
 To a certain extensive garden, high up on the right 
 bank of the Isar, from which a beautiful view of the 
 city is had, there is every year a pilgrimage of all 
 Munichers. It seems as if a world's fair were being 
 held. Close streams of people, men, women and chil- 
 dren, people of all ranks and of every station in life, 
 pour in from all directions, and the garden and the im- 
 mense halls, and even the street adjoining, are swarm- 
 ing with drinkers. It is a hard fight of many minutes, 
 duration before one can get to the various counters 
 where the beer is tapped. It is a hard fight in the first 
 place to secure an empty mug. The crowding and the 
 shoving is almost intolerable, and yet the Munich man 
 stands it bravely and good-naturedly ; the prize rewards 
 him for all the inconvenience he has in getting it. The 
 thing must be seen, it cannot be described. 
 
 Salvator beer is the invention of the Paulian monks, 
 who brewed this beer with special care at all their con- 
 vents under the name of Holy Father beer, and they 
 commenced drinking it on the second of April, the 
 feast of the Holy Father. When the order was dis- 
 banded, the brewing of this beer ceased at all places 
 except Munich. Their brewery in the Au (a suburb 
 of Munich) was sold to a citizen brewer, who kept on 
 making the brewage, faithfully adhering to the original 
 receipt, to the great delectation of all Munichers. But 
 at that time the Bavarian law did not permit the brew- 
 ing of any beer either weaker or stronger than the 
 established norm (the brewing of bock was a govern- 
 ment privilege). The government for a long time 
 closed its eyes to this one particular brewery. The 
 government officials were themselves evidently fond of 
 Salvator. Later, when it was found the law must take 
 
BEER, 335 
 
 its course, a daily fine of fifty florins was imposed, as 
 long as he sold the beer, on the now rich brewer. He 
 paid the fine and laughed in his sleeve. But as the 
 evading of the law on such conditions was, withal, of 
 precarious tenure, the brewer was advised to make a 
 direct petition to King Ludwig the First to secure his 
 privilege. His petition was successful. The king 
 granted him the right, and at the same time the mo- 
 nopoly of forever brewing the Holy Father beer on the 
 site of the former Paulian Convent brewery. 
 
 Many of the Munich breweries are in the heart of 
 the city, but each brewery has generally on the out- 
 skirts of the town its cellars, where the beer is stowed 
 away in immense barrels. If these cellars do not hap- 
 pen to be natural rock cellars, or of a sufficiently low 
 temperature, the barrels are packed in ice. Over these 
 cellars is a large hall surrounded with an extensive 
 space planted with trees and filled with rough benches 
 and tables, and on summer evenings these gardens are 
 a great resort of the population, where the beer is 
 drawn fresh from the cask as it comes from the cellar. 
 Wherever you go, these places are crowded ; some of 
 them hold from four to six thousand persons. 
 
 There are (in 1882) five thousand four hundred and 
 eighty-two breweries in Bavaria, or a little more than 
 one to each thousand inhabitants, which proves that a 
 " long felt want" is not allowed to exist here. We have 
 about two thousand five hundred breweries in the 
 United States, so that some twenty thousand or more 
 thirsty people have to depend on each for their beer. 
 In Munich the smaller breweries have been gradually 
 swallowed up by the larger establishments, and there 
 are at present twenty-nine breweries, the largest of 
 these using one hundred and thirty thousand hectolitres 
 (three hundred and sixty-four thousand bushels) of 
 malt, and producing about seven million gallons of beer 
 per annum. 
 
 In all Europe there are about forty thousand brew- 
 eries, producing about one hundred and two million 
 hectolitres (seventy-four million eight hinuhv<i thou- 
 sand barrels) of boor. Of this qiKuUily Bavaria 
 
336 BEER. 
 
 produces twelve million two hundred and thirty thou- 
 sand hectolitres (eight million nine hundred and seventy 
 thousand barrels.)* 
 
 Munich consumes nearly one million hectolitres 
 (seven hundred and thirty-three thousand barrels), of a 
 value of nearl}^ six million dollars annually. 
 
 In Europe, the least beer is drunk, of course, in those 
 countries where they either have good cheap wines, or 
 where a great deal of spirituous liquors are drunk. 
 France, Spain, Italy, and Russia consume but com- 
 paratively little beer. In the United States the quan- 
 tity of beer consumed per year by each man, woman, 
 and child of the entire population is about thirty-five 
 quarts, or less than one-tenth of a quart per day, — 
 scarcely a thimbleful. The Dutchmen and the Danes 
 are ahead of us, drinking annually forty and sixty-three 
 quarts per capita respectively. England rushes up the 
 number to one hundred and thirty quarts, and then 
 comes Belgium with one hundred and sixty-five quarts, 
 and the German Empire with one hundred and thirty- 
 five quarts. But certain parts of Germany are thirstier 
 than others, for the little kingdom of Wiirtemberg has 
 the respectable showing of two hundred and twenty- 
 five quarts to each of its inhabitants, while if we take 
 only the countries of North Germany, the average is 
 only sixtj^-five quarts. Bavaria still overreaches Wiirt- 
 emberg, for in Bavaria each person consumes two 
 hundred and sixty-one quarts in the course of the year, 
 showing that where one of our citizens drinks one glass 
 of beer the Bavarian drinks seven and a half. Bavaria 
 thus takes the lead of all countries in its beer-consum- 
 ing capacities. 
 
 But if the last given amount of two hundred and 
 sixty-one quarts seems large, just see what Munich 
 does as a capital to keep up its reputation. The an- 
 nual quantity of beer consumed per head of the popu- 
 lation amounts to four hundred and seventy-three 
 
 * I have not thought it necessary to trouble my readers with ragged 
 figures, but have rounded them off, to make them more sightly, and the 
 amounts thus given are sufficiently accurate for a work of this kind. 
 
BEER. 337 
 
 quarts, or one and three-tenths quart per day ; more 
 than thirteen times as much as the average amount 
 for the American citizen. 
 
 Although, as I have said, the very babes begin drink- 
 ing beer almost as soon as they do milk, yet the quan- 
 tities consumed by them are comparatively small. 
 Then again, if one takes half the population as being 
 females, who, of course, are moderate (according to 
 their ideas) in the use of beer, I suppose it would leave 
 a showing of three and a half or four quarts to each 
 male over the age of sixteen years. Now, four quarts 
 in the course of twenty-four hours is a small amount 
 to a Munich man. If I give the figures of the capacity 
 of an ordinary drinker, and of an accomplished drinker 
 on extra occasions, they will appear startling. I ven- 
 ture to say that there are thousands of men in Munich 
 who drink their eight quarts every day of their lives, 
 — there are many who drink ten and twelve quarts. I 
 knew one man who told me he had been drinking six- 
 teen quarts daily for many years. When I looked at 
 him I believed him. I knew another who drank six 
 litres (nearly six and a half quarts) regularly every 
 evening, besides what he had stowed away during the 
 day. I am almost afraid to write how many quarts a 
 full-fledged student when put upon his mettle can pack 
 away, my fear being that my readers might think I 
 am an expander. It is a well-established fact, how- 
 ever, that a student can drink, and does drink at times, 
 ten to twelve quarts at a sitting. In order to get some 
 idea of this quantity, suppose it were put into our or- 
 dinary five-cent glasses, filled as they usually are (for 
 it must be remembered our glasses are one-half foam), 
 and we would have a row of about sixty glasses wait- 
 ing to be emptied. 
 
 Eecently at an evening festival held at one of the 
 Munich breweries, which was attended by about eight 
 hundred persons, twenty-nine hectolitres of beer passed 
 their lips in about four hours. This averages about 
 three and six-tenths quarts to each participant. It was 
 a congress of scientific men from all parts of Germany ; 
 steady, staid old fellows, the most of them, 
 p w 29 
 
338 BEER. 
 
 Now, although such immense quantities of beer are 
 consumed in Bavaria, the amount of drunkenness is 
 much less there than in most other countries. A 
 drunken man in the streets is a thing almost never 
 seen. Even when people take more beer than they 
 can properly stand, its effects are not so exciting as 
 those produced by the immoderate use of wine or 
 spirits. The beer, on most natures, has a stupefying, 
 somnolent effect, and is not so apt to make people 
 quarrelsome as other stimulants do. It is true that in 
 country places, particularly in the districts of Upper 
 and Lower Bavaria, on festive occasions, there is often 
 a fight, — bloody, and sometimes fatal in its results, — but 
 these rows have a sort of premeditated character. 
 Those hardy sons of the high countries have a tradi- 
 tional itching for a fight, very much *like that of the 
 Irishman who throws his coat on the ground and asks 
 somebody to please step on it, — very much like that 
 imbued in the minds of our own boys when one of them 
 with clinched fists and set teeth says invitingly to his 
 comrade, "■ Now jes' you knock that chip off of my 
 shoulder, will yer?" 
 
 Any one who visits the great October festival at 
 Munich, where, on a fine day, perhaps eighty to ninety 
 thousand people are together, and sees all, great and 
 small, crowded together on the rough benches drink- 
 ing beer in such quantities as to be quite appalling to 
 a novice to such a scene, will be struck with the order- 
 liness, the amicable hilarity of the crowd. There is 
 hardly ever a disturbance of any kind. 
 
 I have no sympathy with the man who gets intoxi- 
 cated, — he should be ostracized from all respectable 
 companionship, — but I have none the more sympathy 
 with those weak philosophers who preach tectotalism. 
 We do not make crusades against pies and candy and 
 conglomerated dinners of antagonistically disposed and 
 badly-cooked viands, and yet dyspepsia affects the 
 brain and leads to many suicides and other crimes. 
 The great thing for our country would be to teach the 
 people to enjoy the good things of life without abusing 
 them. One of the best checks to the curse of drunk- 
 
BEER, 339 
 
 enness would be to make good, pure beer, and light, 
 healthy wines more accessible to the public. We are 
 already making great strides in that direction in our 
 country in the introduction of beer in all sections, and 
 statisticians tell us that the consumption of whiskey and 
 allied spirits is thereby decreasing. 
 
 Then I think we make a grave mistake in so relig- 
 iously prohibiting the young from even tasting beer or 
 wine, and in investing these beverages to their imagi- 
 nations with mysterious qualities, and in inculcating 
 in their tender minds the belief that their only effects 
 are noxious effects, and that their use is unerringly 
 baneful. The young man has many opportunities of 
 seeing others drinking and enjoying what is denied to 
 him. His fancy and his curiosity are both excited, and 
 when the time comes (as it inevitably does) for forcing 
 himself from the paternal constraint, he has a hanker- 
 ing to taste the forbidden fruit. It has a fascination 
 for him he cannot resist, because it has been so long 
 forbidden him, and because of its being something so 
 new to him, — something yet unexplored, — and, in 
 order to prove his manliness, he often takes, at the very 
 start, more than is good for him. If children were 
 brought up to look upon wine and beer as being only 
 hurtful in their abuse, to look upon them as they look 
 upon any article of food, as causing sickness if immod- 
 erately indulged in, they would not have an unnatural 
 craving for these liquors in after-years, and, as both 
 wine and beer when taken in moderation, and only 
 when the appetite calls for them, are at the same time 
 gentle stimulants, they would not have the desire to 
 indulge in stronger drinks. 
 
 I do not by any means wish to give the Bavarian 
 standard of quantity as one to be recommended to our 
 countrymen. We eat a great deal of meat, butter, and 
 eggs three times a day at least, and there is therefore 
 not the same demand with us for so much malt liquor. 
 In Bavaria, it must be recollected, the beer is very nu- 
 tritious, and therefore the people eat less solid food 
 than we do. They cat more bread, but less meat and 
 vegetables than wo. With them beer to a great extent 
 
340 BEER. 
 
 takes the place of solid food. It is, in fact, often styled 
 the liquid bread of the laborer, who generally takes 
 beer for breakfast. 
 
 The percentage of alcohol in Bavarian beer is less 
 than in any other beer. In the making of beer two 
 methods are in general use. The one is by a process 
 of infusion, and the other by a process of decoction. 
 The object of the mashing is not only to extract the 
 sugar and the dextrine which is contained in the malt, 
 but also to produce sugar and dextrine from the existing 
 starch by the help of the so-called diastase of the malt, 
 and a temperature of 60^ Eeaumur(167° Fahrenheit). 
 
 The process of infusion and the process of decoction 
 differ from each other in the manner in which the tem- 
 perature of the mash is raised to the proper degree for 
 producing sugar. In the first-named process (which 
 is practised in England, France, and most parts of 
 North Germany) the mash is brought up to the proper 
 temperature without any part of it reaching the boil- 
 ing-point. In the process of decoction, which is the 
 one universally practised in Bavaria, the mash is 
 brought up to the required temperature by putting a 
 part of it in the kettle and heating it to the boiling- 
 point, and then conducting if back to the rest of the 
 mash in the mash-tub, so that the whole reaches a 
 temperature of 42° Eeaumur (126.5° Fahrenheit). A 
 part of the whole is then put a second time in the ket- 
 tle and brought to a boil, and again returned to the 
 rest of the mash, so that it reaches a temperature of 
 60° Eeaumur (167° Fahrenheit). The proper tempera- 
 ture is generally reached by twice boiling a part of 
 the mash, although in some few breweries it may be 
 done in three successive boilings. This process, of 
 course, takes more time and demands more attention 
 than the heating of the whole to a certain temperature 
 (from ten to twelve hours are required to finish the 
 entire process), but better results are obtained by it. 
 It is known as the Bavarian method, and it produces a 
 beer richer in dextrine; while by the method of infu- 
 sion a beer is produced containing less dextrine, but 
 more alcohol. 
 
BEER. 341 
 
 The Bavarian winter beer contains about four per 
 cent., and the summer beer four and a half per cent., of 
 alcohol, while English porter contains from six to seven 
 per cent., and ale from six to nine per cent., of alcohol. 
 
 The malt used in Bavaria is partly from Bavaria 
 itself and from Hungary. Bavaria produces an aver- 
 age crop of barley of about sixteen million one hundred 
 and fifty thousand bushels, principally raised in Lower 
 Bavaria and Lower Franconia. The hops used are 
 mostly of Bavarian growth, these being universally 
 acknowledged as the best. Bavaria is one of the 
 greatest hop countries in Europe. In 1883 the total 
 yield of the whole German Empire was about forty- 
 two million six hundred thousand pounds, of which 
 Bavaria produced twenty-two million pounds, or more 
 than half of the whole amount. The Austro-Hunga- 
 rian Empire produced the same year nearly ten million 
 pounds. The total average of hop lands in the German 
 Empire is, in round numbers, one hundred thousand, 
 that of Bavaria over fifty-five thousand, that of the 
 Austro-Hungarian Empire twenty -nine thousand. The 
 exportation of hops from Bavaria to the United States 
 varies very much from year to year. During the sea- 
 son of 1882 about one million one hundred and eighty 
 thousand pounds, of a value of nine hundred and thirty- 
 nine thousand dollars, were sent from the consular dis- 
 trict of Nuremberg to our country. 
 
 In Germany, the laws in regard to the manner of 
 brewing are very stringent: surrogates for either malt 
 or hops are restricted to a few articles, which are at 
 least innocuous in their properties, whilst all articles 
 hurtful to the health are strictly prohibited. 
 
 In Bavaria, the first law regulating the making of 
 beer was issued in 1420, allowing brewers to make 
 mead and an inferior sort of beer, the restrictions being 
 only as to the duration and the nature of fermentation 
 (warm fermentation). The materials and their quan- 
 tity for a certain amount of beer were not pre8cril)ed, 
 but each brewer was bound to make a certain quantity 
 of beer in order to meet the demands of the countr}'. 
 
 The process of cold fermentation was introduced in 
 
 29* 
 
342 BEER. 
 
 Munich in the fifteenth century. It is now practised 
 in Bavaria, in most of the countries of Europe (with 
 the exception of England and some parts of North 
 Germany and Russia), and in the United States. 
 
 There was a law passed in the year 1553 directing 
 that hops, barley, and water should be the only sub- 
 stances from which beer was to be brewed, and that 
 the liquid should be sufficiently cooled before being 
 brought to fermentation.* Every brewer was obliged 
 to brew two different kinds of beer, — summer beer and 
 winter beer, — the price for which was fixed by the gov- 
 ernment uniformly for the whole country, the winter 
 beer at four hellers per mass (one-third cent per quart), 
 the summer beer at fiYQ> hellers per mass (five-twelfths 
 of one cent per quart). In Bavaria the beer is only 
 brewed in the cold season, from September to the mid- 
 dle of April. Part of this beer, after a short storage in 
 casks, is consumed during the winter, whence the ap- 
 pellation winter beer ; the other part (for which more 
 malt and hops are used) remains in the cellars till the 
 summer months, and is drunk from the time the brew- 
 ing ceases in the spring till it commences again in 
 autumn. 
 
 In 1616, owing to the continuous fluctuations in the 
 price of barley and hops, a new law, or " beer regula- 
 tion," was passed, authorizing each community to make 
 fixed prices annually for the summer and the winter 
 beer, in accordance with the prices of barley and hops 
 and fuel. The said law further prescribed that from 
 fiYQ schaffel of malt (31.5 bushels) not more than fif- 
 teen eimers (1065 quarts of beer) should be made. 
 
 The principal features of this law remained in force 
 until the passing of the new beer regulations of 1811. 
 From that time on, until the new trade law of 1867 
 was passed, it was only allowed to make seven eimers 
 (497 quarts) of winter beer and six eimers (426 quarts) 
 of summer beer from one schaffel (6.3 bushels) of malt. 
 
 There are at present no restrictions as to the quantity 
 of beer that shall be made from a certain quantity of 
 
 * This law is now in force. 
 
BEER. 343 
 
 malt, although most brewers, for the sake of their own 
 reputation, conform to the usual rule of 2.3 volumes of 
 winter beer and 1.9 to 2.0 volumes of summer beer to 
 one volume of malt. 
 
 Most of the beer produced in Bavaria is consumed 
 in the country itself, only about seven per cent, of the 
 whole production being exported. The principal cities 
 taking part in this export — which is chiefly to North 
 Germany, France, and the United States — are Munich, 
 Nuremberg, Erlangen, and Kulmbach. 
 
 The taxes on beer have suffered many variations in 
 the course of centuries. The present state tax is one 
 dollar and seventeen cents on each 2.8 bushels of malt. 
 Besides this, it has been the custom in most cities and 
 towns to impose a separate and personal tax upon all 
 beer sold within their precincts; this municipal tax 
 now amounts in Munich to about fort3-five cents per 
 2.8 bushels of malt, and brings an annual income of 
 two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, being more 
 than one dollar to each inhabitant. 
 
 At present most of the Bavarian brewers have their 
 own mills for crushing their malt, which b}^ an in- 
 genious device measures and registers the quantity of 
 malt running through them. No brewer is allowed to 
 run his mill without having first declared the amount 
 of malt intended to be crushed, nor without having 
 paid or secured to be paid the taxes due the state and 
 the municipality. The fines inflicted for non-observ- 
 ance of the rules prescribed by the tax law vixvy from 
 one hundred and fifty to six hundred marks for the 
 first offence; for succeeding offences the fine ma}^ ex- 
 tend to one thousand eight hundred marks. The 
 brewers are in general satisfied with the mode in 
 which they are controlled by law, as there is very 
 little inconvenience to them in the carrying out of its 
 provisions, and the brewing manipulations are in 
 nowise impeded thereby. They justl}^ complain, how- 
 ever, of the high rate of taxation, wiiich is out of ])ro- 
 portion to the prices obtainable for their product. 
 The average retail price of the beer is about 5.5 cents 
 per quart. 
 
344 BEER, 
 
 The brewage itself is carefully controlled by the 
 authorities, and a brewer who is caught using other 
 substances than malt or liops, or selling beer which is 
 not in a good condition, is subjected to a heavy fine or 
 imprisonment, and his beer is unmercifully emptied 
 into the gutter. 
 
 As a proof of the high importance attached to the 
 art of brewing is the fact that no labor is as well paid 
 in Bavaria as that of the brewer. To be a master- 
 brewer in one of the larger establishments in Munich 
 or other cities is better than being a cabinet minister 
 or a general in the army, — or even a consul : he gets 
 more than many a little German prince. In the largest 
 breweries a master-brewer receives from five to six 
 thousand dollars per annum, and has, besides, a large 
 extra income from the sale of the yeast, which he is 
 allowed to dispose of for his own account. The yeast, 
 after being pressed into a thick mass, is packed into 
 wooden or tin boxes isolated by sawdust or some non- 
 conductor of heat, and is shipped to all parts of the 
 globe. Thus prepared, the yeast is sold for fifty cents 
 per pound, and the yield therefrom is equal in some 
 cases to twice the regular salary of the master-brewer. 
 In addition, the master-brewer is entitled to from 
 fifteen to twenty quarts of beer daily, for which checks 
 are given, but these checks are good for the day of 
 their issue only. He can either drink that beer him- 
 self or dispose of it in some other way. All workers 
 in the breweries receive in addition to free lodging 
 on the premises from four to eight quarts of beer, 
 according to their services, but they are not entitled to 
 an equivalent in money for the quantity of beer not 
 consumed by them. 
 
CHARACTER OF THE BAVARIANS. 345 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 Character of the Bavarians — Fault-finders — Munich beggars — People 
 asking for loans — The old Leipsic woman — Sandy-haired man want- 
 ing forty florins — American artist slouches — Directory of America — 
 " I can prove that I am myself^' — Fifty years behind the time — Con- 
 sular speeches— Bribing. 
 
 The Bavarians are a good-natured people. They 
 may be rough in their ways and in their expressions, 
 but they are free from affectation. They are straight- 
 forward, open, and honest, and are full of good-will 
 toward each other and toward strangers. Especially 
 among the lower classes, one notices that, without being 
 servile, they are complaisant and deferential to their 
 superiors. One may go into any place which is filled 
 with the poorest of the people without fear of any 
 personal or unpleasant remarks or signs being made or 
 given by them. On the contrary, they feel honored if 
 any one, their superior either in intellect, or wealth, or 
 station, makes his appearance in their midst. I think 
 the higher education of the heart of the common 
 people is to a great extent due to the fraternizing 
 tendencies of beer in Bavaria. All classes mix so 
 freely together at the fane of Gambrinus that the more 
 unruly are, from childhood up, accustomed to be held 
 in check by the presence of the better educated and the 
 better mannered. 
 
 It may, on the other hand, be urged that in the same 
 way as the lower class of people are raised by contact 
 with their superiors in breeding,^ the latter become 
 proportionately lowered thereby; but there are always 
 more good people in the world than bad people, more 
 well-bred than ill-bred, and the average mixture will 
 always turn out with the larger percentage of good. 
 
 The world is full of fault-finders. There are people 
 ever on the alert to find out some mistake we have 
 made either in word, or in action, or in omission, and 
 
346 FA UL T- FINDERS, 
 
 are ceaselessly watching for an opportunity to trip us 
 up. It seems as if the daily bread of such people was 
 the hunting for motes in other people's eyes. They 
 sometimes call themselves critics. We are disposed to 
 find fault with these fault-finders, and some people set 
 them down as intolerable bores. I think we do them in- 
 justice. They are a very useful class of people ; they save 
 us a world of trouble and a world of labor sometimes. 
 
 If there is anything we do not know, but would like 
 to find out, what is the use of our going into any deep 
 study for the purpose ? Why should we rack our 
 brains in wandering through text-books or commen- 
 taries, elaborate treatises, histories, biographies, ency- 
 clopaedias, or dictionaries, when we have thousands of 
 thoughtful people ready at our elbow and eager to set 
 us right? All we have to do is to make some hap- 
 hazard statement ; if printed, so much the better. If, 
 for instance, I want to find out what the national debt 
 of the United States is, or in what year Washington 
 was born, I have only to write an article and say at 
 random that the former is twenty thousand millions, 
 and that the Father of his Country came on the stage 
 of existence on the 31st of September, 1702, and I will 
 have plenty of people to correct me and to give me the 
 exact information : to be sure, they give such correc- 
 tions with a malicious fling at our ignorance, but we 
 have to swallow that as the coating to the pill that 
 brings out the right date and figures. And one good 
 thing is, that when we get information in that way we 
 are not likely to forget it. 
 
 I have, somewhere in the middle of this book, 
 inadvertently made an assertion or stated a supposition, 
 which I now find I am not quite clear about, nor have 
 I the means at hand to find out about it, but if I happen 
 to have any readers at all, there will be some consider- 
 ate person among them who will enlighten me. 
 
 If there were only one beggar in the world, what a 
 rich man he would be ! Each heart would certainly 
 expand towards him to the extent of helping him 
 on a long way towards competency. 
 
BEGGARS 347 
 
 But when it comes to dividing up our charity in 
 about quarter-hourly doses, we feel that it is such a de- 
 mand on our time and our small stock of naughty words 
 that we became very chary of our cash, so that we are 
 often thereby prevented from diving into our pockets 
 as deeply as we would like to. 
 
 Among the crowd which honored me with its visits 
 was an old lady who was a periodical: I don't mean a 
 periodical that comes out once a month, but one that ap- 
 pears about every third day. I got in the habit of giving 
 her ten pfennigs (about two and a half cents) every 
 time she came. This was continued for a year or so. I 
 then moved my office, and the old lady was not slow in 
 finding my new quarters. I suppose the expenses of 
 moving must have been pretty heavy, at any rate I had 
 a feeling that I ought to retrench, generally, my out- 
 lays, so when she came as usual, with her usual courtesy 
 and her usual appeal, I gave her only five pfennigs. 
 She did not make any remark, merely thanking me less 
 heartily than of yore, and turning the coin over in her 
 palm, with a searching look out of her bleary old eyes, 
 she went off. The second time she came to the new 
 abode, I again, remembering my resolution to econo- 
 mize, gave her only five pfennigs. 
 
 This was too much for her, — or rather, too little, — 
 she seemed to think if that sort of thing was to go on 
 it was time for her to put a stop to it. She held out 
 the piece in her hand and said she supposed I had made 
 a mistake, as she was accustomed to getting ten pfen- 
 nigs, and not five. I felt convicted, but managed to ex- 
 plain ; basing the reduction of the alms on the grounds 
 that the necessaries of life had gone up so immensely 
 in price during the last few years (here she groaned 
 and nodded her head confirming!}^), that the salary had 
 not been proportionately increased, while competition 
 in her line had more than doubled. My arguments 
 were not convincin<]^, and my language not as soothing 
 as I had hoped. The old lady flared up and said she 
 had not expected such treatment at such a house. 
 I well knew, she said, that none had been so regular 
 as she, and that she lived a great way off, and that 
 
348 BEGGARS. 
 
 she really could not come so far unless she got what 
 she had been in the habit of getting. She could tell 
 me that poor people had their troubles as well as 
 others, and their duties, too : she had prayed for me 
 and for the whole family every day since she first came 
 to the office, — if it were my intention that in future 
 she should get only five pfennigs, she really couldn't 
 come any more. 
 
 By being persistent in my resolution I lost her 
 friendship and her sympathy and her prayers. But 
 there were soon others to take her place. 
 
 Street-begging in Munich is a thing that is scarcely 
 ever seen, for it is prohibited, and the police are terri- 
 bly on the alert to catch such offenders, but begging in 
 the houses is carried on to a fearful extent, and the 
 beggars have certain advantages which they do not 
 have in all cities. The front doors of the Munich 
 houses stand either quite open, or they are at least un- 
 locked, during the daytime. The beggar, therefore, 
 does not have to stand at the street-door ringing a bell 
 to get admittance. He can so easily glide into any 
 house, and then go from story to story to make his 
 calls undisturbed by any police-officer. In almost each 
 hall-way is posted a large notice that begging and 
 peddling is strictly prohibited, and that parties caught 
 in the act will be dealt with according to law; it has 
 little eifect. 
 
 But even among the worst of Munich beggai'S one 
 does not see such ragged misery, such evidences of ab- 
 ject destitution, as one mostly sees in other countries. 
 One does not see such specimens where it looks, not as 
 if the rags would not hold together, but as if they had 
 no connection with each other and were only glued to 
 the skin by the filth and grime that cover it. Per- 
 haps from his being accustomed to paying his visits in 
 the houses, the Munich beggar keeps himself a trifle 
 more decent than street beggars. The Munich beggar 
 don't care so much for scraps of meat or crusts of 
 bread ; he'd much rather have the money, for then he 
 can go to the tavern for his food and drink, where he 
 will find the most congenial company. Of course the 
 
ASKING FOR LOANS, 349 
 
 consulate comes in for its full share of the patronage 
 of these people. 
 
 The downright beggar is a jewel to those insidious 
 individuals who ask for a small loan, and make prom- 
 ises of paying it back again. I would rather have fifty 
 dirty beggars to deal with than one shabby-genteel per- 
 son who makes such scruples of asking for assistance 
 that he will not accept it as charity. 
 
 An old woman, — I recollect her so well, for she put 
 me in mind of Mrs. Jarley, and I believe she was in 
 some kindred line of business, — with a fancy head-dress 
 full of flowers and frills, had a son and other children 
 in America. She was from Saxony, and she spoke the 
 Saxon dialect in its most winning form. Her son should 
 have sent her money to join him in the United States, 
 but either his purse or his filial affection had given out, 
 and he had disappointed her. He was such a good son, 
 too, and the old woman was sure somebedy must have 
 bewitched him or he would have sent her the promised 
 money. She knew there were witches in America as well 
 as in Germany. The woman wanted the consul to lend 
 her eight dollars to get to Hamburg with, where she 
 knew she could find a position as stewardess on a ship, 
 and thus get over. She made quite a demonstration at 
 the office, wringing her hands and crjnng copiously. 
 " By heaven," she said, " I will pay it back to you when 
 I get to Hamburg, and pay you two dollars on top of 
 it, — willingly, willingly." It was nearly an hour before 
 I could get rid of her, and then onl}'^ by the opportune 
 appearance of two gentlemen who came on business. 
 When she at last l^ft, the whole floor was wet from her 
 tears as if a dripping umbrella had been carried about. 
 
 The next day a short, sandy-haired man called, in a 
 check hunting suit, rather greasy around the collar, 
 and with check linen which had not been to the wash- 
 erwoman's for some time. I saw by the gleam of his 
 eye that he was not a beggar, but still that he wanted 
 something. It was therefore necessary to put on an 
 extra coating of politeness. 
 
 30 
 
350 ASKING FOR LOANS. 
 
 ^' Are you the American counsel, sir?" 
 
 " Yes, sir. Are you an American too, sir ?" 
 
 " Yes, sir, I guess I am. Where do you hail from, 
 counsel ?" 
 
 "Philadelphia;^ 
 
 " I'm from Burlington, Vermont, sir." 
 
 " Very happy indeed." 
 
 "I've brought over the ^Jigger Brothers,' the cele- 
 brated acrobats and jugglers, and want to play at the 
 
 theatre here, but can't get an engagement till 
 
 next month ; I'm on my way to Vienna now, and I 
 find I'm just forty florins short. I^ow, sir, I have just 
 come to you to ask you if you can accommodate me 
 w^ith forty florins for a few days, which I will " 
 
 " Very sorry, etc. ; have been obliged to make it a 
 rule, etc." 
 
 " So 3^ou don't want to lend me forty florins?'* 
 
 " Well, sir, I am afraid, sir " 
 
 " Then you mean to say you won't lend me forty 
 florins?" 
 
 " I'm afraid you'll have to put that construction on 
 it." 
 
 " Very well, sir, that's all I wanted to know." 
 
 Taking out his note-book and pencil, and with a very 
 severe expression of countenance, "Let me see, sir, 
 your name I think is so and so," — writing it down very 
 slowly, and speaking each letter aloud as he entered it, 
 and glancing up at me with a withering look at each 
 letter. " Very well, sir, — good-day, sir." 
 
 "Good-morning, sir." 
 
 He shot up from his seat, and rushed out of the 
 house as if he hadn't a moment to, lose before getting 
 to the next consul. 
 
 I expected to get a hauling over the coals from the 
 State Department in its next despatch, but I was spared 
 that time. 
 
 The American is bound to do everything on an ex- 
 tensive scale ; he is used to big things. When he 
 comes to the classic ground of art in Europe, and sees 
 his colleagues of the brush and the chisel going into 
 
AMERICAN ARTIST SLOUCHES. 351 
 
 vagaries of art even as far as their dress and the style 
 of wearing their hair is affected thereby, l\e goes in for 
 carrying the thing still further, — he out- vagaries them 
 all. When he gets slouchy, he gets very slouchy. 
 He'll swear off from the barbers and take pains to ram 
 his hat into all kinds of artistic shapes, wearing crum- 
 pled linen and baggy clothing. Yet, may he affect 
 ever so much carelessness as to the fit of his garments, 
 there is not the grace of naivete about his whole get 
 up which characterizes the appearance of such as are 
 to the manner born ; there is not the bandit-like ease 
 in the sling of those rags which ought to accompany 
 the wearing of them. Our American artist slouch is 
 only playing a part ; he knows well he would not dare 
 to appear in such a costume at home. He can do as 
 he pleases abroad ; he knows that he has more freedom 
 there, — at least as far as dress goes. 
 
 After all, this forceful way of trying to give oneself 
 an artistic air is only another phase of swellism. I 
 have often noticed how just the very men that were 
 most outre in their dress in the direction of slovenli- 
 ness, would, upon the slightest provocation, become 
 dandies of the first water, undergoing a change as to 
 their outward man to which the transmogrification of 
 Cinderella by the fairy's wand was as nothing. This 
 clearl}^ proves that such vagaries of dress as we often 
 Bee displayed by our art students abroad are but a 
 form of affectation which appear ridiculous to those 
 who see beneath the surface. 
 
 I knew one young man who was quite a model of 
 the recklessness of genius, whose mind was so absorbed 
 in his labor — in his dreams of immortality — that he 
 could not bestow a thought upon his apparel. His 
 shirts resembled the pockets of most of his colleagues, 
 — there was no change in them ; his collars were no- 
 Avhere, and his outward clothes had almost as much 
 paint on them as his pictures, and they looked as if ho 
 were accustomed to sleeping in them not on his ])allet, 
 but really on his palette. He was sometimes called 
 Joseph, because he had on a coat of many colors. 
 
 And yet this very man, when he left Munich and 
 
352 DIRECTORY OF AMERICA. 
 
 went to London, became, I was told, the greatest swell 
 imaginable. He could get no stove-pipe glossy enough, 
 he could get no gloves fawny enough, he could get no 
 boots bright or tight enough, no shirt-front spotless 
 enough, and his fingers and bosom sparkled with the 
 pastiest of diamonds. 
 
 An old lady wanted to write to some relatives who 
 had gone over to the United States many years ago, 
 and she had never heard from them since. She had 
 some important news to communicate to them now, 
 but she didn't know their address. She asked me if I 
 hadn't any " address book" (directory) of America. 
 
 A party writing from Eatisbon in regard to making 
 an acknowledgment to a notarial paper, wants to know 
 what proofs are required at the consulate as to his 
 identity, as to his being the person who executed the 
 instrument. He put it in this form: "My mother-in- 
 law says I must ask you if you require me to bring 
 any paper to prove that I am myself. I could bring 
 my marriage certificate if you wish it." 
 
 Happy man, with a mother-in-law who can bring a 
 marriage certificate as proof that he is still himself. 
 
 Americans often make the remark that everything 
 is fifty years behind the age in Germany, and wonder 
 how I could manage to stay so long in such a country. 
 
 But if that be so, is it not of some advantage to feel 
 that you gain just fifty years thereby, — that you are 
 fifty years younger than your birth register makes 
 you ? AVhile my school-fellows are plodding along on 
 the shady side of manhood at home, I shall still feel 
 like a sporting child over on the old side of the water. 
 
 When on any occasion of social entertainment the 
 consul is called on to make a speech, and he is not of 
 the speechifying kind, he can always fall back on the 
 statement that his instructions are that there are cer- 
 tain matters which he must not allude to in public 
 speeches, and that paragraph 423 of the Consular Regu- 
 
ATTEMPTED BRIBERY. 353 
 
 lations further says : ^* It is a still better rule to avoid 
 public speeches when it can be done without ex- 
 citing feeling (the Eegulations do not say what kind 
 of feeling) in the community in which the officer 
 resides." In this way he can beat a graceful retreat, 
 by hoping that no " feeling" will be excited in the com- 
 munity if he remains silent. He is spared the embar- 
 rassment of plugging his thumbs on the table-cloth and 
 hunting for ideas and words in odd corners of the 
 ceiling, and the company is generally satisfied with his 
 humorous explanation. 
 
 I need scarcely add that this piece of pleasantry is 
 common property of all consuls. 
 
 One day a lady called, wanting to see the consul on 
 a very delicate matter. She was a German by birth, 
 but had lived in the United States a longtime and had 
 returned to her native land on a visit. She was richly 
 and stylishly dressed. 
 
 The gist of her narrative was that she had an oppor- 
 tunity of marrying in Germany — an extraordinarily 
 good match — to a man of title, — if the thing could bo 
 done quickly. There was but one impediment in the 
 way, rumors of which had come to the ears of the 
 relatives of the other party. 
 
 The lady was already married in the United States, 
 and her husband was still living. 
 
 She explained to me, however, that the match there 
 had been a runaway match, and that the ceremony had 
 been performed in an out-of-the-way place by an out- 
 of-the-way clergyman. She showed me her marriage 
 certificate in confidence, in the hope that I might find 
 some flaw in it. She said that such things (tying the 
 nuptial knot she meant) were often done in such a 
 loose way in the United States, that there was always 
 a question whether in such cases the marriage were 
 really valid. In her case, the thing having been done 
 in a hurry and the witnesses being dead, and her hus- 
 band having treated her very badly, she really could 
 scarcely consider her marriage lawful. At any rate, 
 she thought it was possible for me, under the circura- 
 X 30* 
 
354 ATTEMPTED BRIBERY, 
 
 stances, to give her a certificate that her supposed mar- 
 riage in America was not a legal one and not binding 
 on her; if this could be done, she said, there would be 
 no hindrance in the way. It is needless to repeat her 
 arguments upon my telling her that a proof of non- 
 marriage would always be a negative proof only, but 
 that in her case, after having seen her marriage certifi- 
 cate, I had positive proof that she was married. Then 
 the lady gently hinted that she would pay liberally for 
 my services if I would only help her, and that she had 
 as great an object in keeping secret as I. 
 
 Such a startling proposition led me to fall back upon 
 stratagem, for I could hardly believe that it was 
 earnestly meant. I darkly referred to the danger ac- 
 compan^^ing such an action, and doubted whether she 
 were able to pay the price for such a service. She, of 
 course, did not understand me. She gave me a look full 
 of meaning and quietly replied, " I am wealthy, sir." 
 
 It then became necessary for me to explain to her in 
 words that probably wounded her feelings that she had 
 better, for her own peace of mind, not try to tread such 
 crooked paths, and that the way out of the consulate 
 was a very straight one. 
 
 That night, instead of falling asleep as I ought to 
 have done, I fell into a certain train of reflection. I 
 w^ondered whether people (and there are many such) 
 who have the hardihood to try to bribe a public officer, 
 or any other person, ever bring their minds to bear 
 upon the real nature of the services they demand ; 
 whether they ever attempt to weigh the compensation 
 they are willing to give with the loss entailed on the 
 other party, — the loss of a clear conscience, — the sur- 
 render of moral character. I suppose there are many 
 persons who could be bought if they could obtain their 
 just price; but as that price can never be paid, they 
 cannot give themselves away for anything less. What 
 is that price? To sell oneself in the manner contem- 
 plated by those who offer a bribe, one should receive as 
 an equivalent a bandage to close the eyes against every 
 power of discrimination between w^hat is right and 
 what is wrong, — a salve to heal the conscience of every 
 
CLOSET SKELETONS. 355 
 
 pang, and a polish to clear it of every upbraiding, — a 
 wad to close the ears to every whisper of self-reproach, 
 and £C mirror in which one sees one's soul free from 
 stain, — a gauge which shows us that we have not fallen 
 in our self-respect, — a soothing monitor, which tells us 
 that we have acted uprightly, which tells us we can 
 still hold up our heads before our fellow-men with the 
 same consciousness of our worth as we did before. 
 
 Until such a price can be paid we must reject all 
 offers, — and such a price is not to be found in the purses 
 or in the bank accounts of the richest on earth. 
 
 CHAPTEE XXIII. 
 
 Closet skeletons — Politeness of King Maximilian — Artists' balls — Ameri- 
 can keeping his hat on — *' Cussing" — Count Rumford — A corner in 
 wheat — Health of Munich — Murray's Handbook for South Germany — 
 An ominous paragraph — Letter of Dr. Frank to Mr. Murray — Extracts 
 from Dr. Frank's letter — Death-rate of various cities — Death-rate of 
 Munich — Explaining the above — Mortality of young children — Causes 
 of the above — The marriage laws — Baby-farmers — Making deductions 
 — Munich as healthy as most large cities — The typhus — The cholera — 
 The year 1854 in Munich — The epidemic of 1873 and 1874 — Cholera in 
 American cities — First death from cholera; an American — Death of 
 Kaulbach — Fears of the cholera — Former condition of Munich — The 
 soil of Munich — The water-supply — Improvements in Munich — Climate 
 of Munich — How to dress — Rain — Sundry diseases. 
 
 The cases laid before a consul in which his advice, his 
 assistance, or his intercession is requested, are some- 
 times of the most delicate and personal nature. Matters 
 concerning the most intimate relationships in life are 
 sometimes imparted to him that would not be imparted 
 to any one else. The closet skeletons presented to a 
 consul's view are enough to fill a respectable-sized 
 graveyard. Mr. Tulkinghorn's secrets were as nothing 
 to them. The consul buries them in his bosom ; well 
 might he at times write over the door of his private 
 office as the street amanuenses of Paris do over their 
 stalls, — "Au tombcau des secrets." 
 
356 POLITENESS OF KING MAXIMILIAN. 
 
 King Maximilian, the father of the present king, was 
 a very amiable man, and a man of thorough good breed- 
 ing. On my first visit to Munich, when Maximilian 
 was on the throne, there was a little story going the 
 rounds of an occurrence at a ball, in which an Ameri- 
 can was concerned. I was present at the ball, but 
 not a witness of the scene, which was thus described by 
 my friends. 
 
 I must first state that it is the custom of the Munich 
 artists to give, during the carnival, a grand costume 
 ball. These balls are the great event of the season, and 
 are magnificently gotten up. The costumes of all the 
 participants are made from drawings furnished by the 
 artists, and are always historically correct. The artists 
 sit in open committee for several weeks before to give 
 assistance and advice in regard to the cut of the gar- 
 ments, the stuffs to be selected, the colors to be used, 
 etc. 
 
 The first ball of the kind which I saw had for its sub- 
 ject the triumphal entry of Rubens into Antwerp upon 
 his marriage with his second wife, Helena Fromann. 
 It was a gorgeous sight. The hall was sumptuously 
 decorated. At the end was a raised platform sur- 
 rounded with a heavy balustrade and broad steps lead- 
 ing up to it like a garden terrace, and overlooking the 
 Scheldt, with an immense canvas covering the entire 
 wall on which was painted a view of the city of Ant- 
 werp lying on the river. Large trees and plants upon 
 the terrace framed it in, and looking out from the in- 
 terior of the hall it appeared as if it were open and one 
 were gazing on a real city, on real water. Another of 
 these balls had for its subject the period of the Reforma- 
 tion. Another, the fairy-tales Cinderella, Little Red 
 Riding-Hood, Sleeping Beauty, Bluebeard, Beauty and 
 the Beast, etc., each represented by a separate group. 
 
 The ball in question was a mere fancy ball without 
 any particular costume being prescribed ; it was only 
 required that the ladies should wear some fantastic 
 head-dress, and that gentlemen who came in modern 
 ball-dress put on an odd-looking hat or cap which was 
 supplied at the entrance to the hall. These caps were 
 
AMERICAN KEEPING HIS HAT ON. 357 
 
 worn the whole evening, and were not taken off even 
 during the dancing. 
 
 The young gentleman with whom the story had to 
 do was a student,— of medicine, I think. He had a tall 
 and conspicuous figure, and his fancy cap could be seen 
 bobbing around over the heads of most of the people 
 there. This gentleman was, at the time, engaged to a 
 Munich lady, quite accomplished, and who spoke Eng- 
 lish exceedingly well. 
 
 It was the habit of the king to attend these balls, if 
 only for a couple of hours, but he had the privilege, of 
 course, of appearing with his stove-pipe hat in his 
 hand instead of donning the fancy cap. As he walked 
 around, accompanied by his adjutant and some of the 
 ball committee, the crowd drew back to a respectable 
 distance that he might have a clear space about him, 
 and all the gentlemen in his vicinity uncovered their 
 heads. On ascending the platform at the upper end 
 of the hall, the king stopped to take a comprehensive 
 view of the animated scene before him. Just on the 
 platform, at the same time, happened to stand our 
 American friend with hm fiancee on his arm. The king 
 immediately recognized the lady, as she had on a 
 former occasion been presented to him, and commenced 
 talking with her. She appeared to be introducing her 
 intended, who quite unreservedly joined in the conver- 
 sation, but — oh, horror ! — he didn't take off his hat. It 
 was quite shocking to the bystanders, but it was still 
 more shocking to the Munich lady, who felt that all 
 eyes were riveted on her lover, standing there talking 
 so familiarly with his hat on his head to roj^alty with 
 his hat in his hand. The king alone appeared not to 
 notice it. But this painful situation was too much for 
 the lady; she tried to give her future husband some 
 sign to call him to his senses: indeed, some of her 
 glances at him were such as generally come only after 
 marriage. Finding she could not attract his attention 
 in that way, she began nudging him with her elbow, 
 but he did not understand what that was for either. 
 As she kept on nudging him, however, each time a 
 little harder than before, he at last got out of patience 
 
358 ''CUSSING.'' 
 
 and gave her a nudge back, — a concentrated nudge, 
 but in doing so he accidentally knocked against the 
 king's arm, and the sudden jar knocked the king's hat 
 out of his hand. But who didn't pick it up ? — that was 
 our American friend, who was so consternated that he 
 didn't know what to do. Several gentlemen rushed 
 forward to clutch up the hat and hand it to the king, 
 but the king was quicker than any of them, and 
 stooping, with a smile, he had it in his hand again and 
 went on with the conversation as if nothing had hap- 
 pened. 
 
 One can imagine that this little episode was quite 
 the talk for some time, and the Munich lady had a hard 
 conflict between her loyalty for her king and her loy- 
 alty for her lover. 
 
 " I've come to do a little cussing." That is the fa- 
 vorite mode of expression with a good many people 
 who come to the consulate to take an oath. Even one 
 of our most noted humorists introduced himself to me 
 in the above words. I must confess I had expected 
 something better of him, — something more original. 
 
 It always made me feel a little queer when, in such 
 cases, I considered it my duty to call the attention of 
 such blithe and airy customers to the solemnity of an 
 oath, and to remind them of the responsibility they in- 
 curred in taking it. They looked at me wonderinglj^. 
 Their idea of an oath mostly seemed to be that it was 
 a mere matter of form, and that the only thing needed 
 was to have the consular seal stuck on the paper to 
 make it all right. 
 
 In cases where people who were abroad were about 
 sending some of their chattels home, and wanted to 
 make a sworn statement at the consulate that such ar- 
 ticles had been in use by them abroad, and that they 
 were not intended for any other person nor for sale, 
 they took a still lighter view of the matter, and their 
 gay remark was, " Oh, well, it's only for the custom- 
 house," as if any kind of an oath were good enough 
 for that. 
 
 There is scarcely a country where so much swearing 
 
''CUSSING.'' 359 
 
 is done, where so many oflScers are entitled to admin- 
 ister oaths as in ours, and it is not that we attach less 
 importance to the fact itself, but because from the very 
 frequency of the ceremony it is attended with so little 
 ceremony tliat we come to look upon the taking of an 
 oath as simply a part of business routine which is es- 
 sential to the finishing of the matter in hand, in the 
 same way that the date and the signature are essential 
 parts of the letter. 
 
 With consuls, the administering of oaths is quite a 
 common and every-day part of their business. It often 
 happens that an affidavit is required of some person 
 temporarily abroad to be used as a matter of proof at 
 home, and the party repairs to the consul at the place 
 where he happens to be, or if there is no consul there, 
 to the nearest place where there is one, to swear to his 
 statement and have the official attestation attached. 
 In matters of controversy, or in trials pending in our 
 courts, where a necessary witness is out of the country, 
 a commission is issued by the court to the consul to 
 take the depositions of such witnesses to be used in 
 court as testimony. Sometimes in private matters an 
 oath is necessary to strengthen the assertion of some 
 persons. Often, too, in mercantile affairs, it is required 
 of a merchant to make an exhibit of his books before a 
 consul, and to swear to the correctness of certain trans- 
 actions. The occasions for taking an oath are innu- 
 merable. The Department of State is a great stickler 
 for oaths. After a consul has, at the time of his ap- 
 pointment, taken an oath in general to conscientiously 
 attend to the business and render just and true ac- 
 counts, he must again at the end of each quarter make 
 an oath that that particular account is correct, lie 
 swears this to his vice-consul. If his vice-consul is 
 sick or out of town, he swears it to his agent. 
 
 But why should not a man's word be considered as 
 good as his bond ? Why could not a man's statoinent, 
 made by him in open court, or signed by him in tlio 
 presence of witnesses, be taken as an asseveration, and 
 why should not a false statement, made under such cir- 
 cumstances, be punishable the same as perjury is now ? 
 
360 A MONUMENTAL CITY, 
 
 When a man signs his name to a bill we require no- 
 thing of him but his signature, yet there is nothing he 
 holds of more sacredness than to meet that bill when 
 it is due. 
 
 It is not right to give so many petty officers the 
 power of administering oaths. Nine-tenths of them 
 think nothing of the sanctity of the proceeding; they 
 merely look upon it as a matter which brings a fee to 
 their pockets. The business like way in which oaths 
 arc- generally administered is really dragging down all 
 religious reverence into the mire. If it is meant that 
 an oath should be considered as a direct appeal to the 
 Almighty to punish us if we are not speaking or acting 
 the truth, it would be well to find out if the person 
 making the oath have any religion at all. For those 
 who have none, there is only the fear of the law before 
 them, and for such it is easy enough for the law to 
 make them responsible for their statements. But we 
 require an oath for the acceptation of ever}^ proof It 
 seems as if nothing were to be believed in our country 
 unless it is spiced with an oath. 
 
 Baltimore is called the Monumental City because it 
 has three monuments. What, then, should Munich be 
 called, which has over thirty public monuments stand- 
 ing in its streets and squares, all of colossal size ? 
 The Bavaria, indeed, is the biggest thing out, and will 
 remain so until " Liberty" gets a firm footing on our 
 shore. Besides these monuments erected to the mem- 
 ory of celebrated men, there are a score or more of 
 fountains, groups, and allegorical figu^;es scattered 
 around the public places. So great is the rage for 
 putting up monuments to great men in Munich that 
 the trouble is to find great men enough to satisfy the 
 artistic demand. It is no wonder that they some- 
 times are obliged to take a foreigner to expend their 
 superfluous bronze on. Even one of our own country- 
 men stands, with cane in hand, and pigtail hanging 
 down his back, in one of the most beautiful parts of 
 Munich, looking benignly down upon the crowds of 
 promenaders that pass him. 
 
COUNT RUM FORD. 361 
 
 Benjamin Thompson, afterwards Count Eumford, was 
 born at North Woburn, Massachusetts, in 1753, but in 
 the matter of patriotism his character is somewhat ques- 
 tionable. He was a roj^alist, and took part against the 
 Eevolutionary cause. After being in England for some 
 years, he met at Strassburg in 1801 the future Elector 
 Maximilian, of Bavaria, who was so charmed with his 
 manners, his intelligence, and his views of military 
 matters, that he invited him to come to Munich, where 
 he was successively advanced from one position of 
 trust to another. Although Thompson did nothing to 
 the advantage of his native country, he did a great 
 deal for Bavaria, — enough to justify the Bavarians in 
 giving him a public monument. His first efforts were 
 directed to the amelioration of the condition of the 
 common soldier, by making great reforms in the sani- 
 tary condition of the barracks, and by providing them 
 w^ith wholesome food, which, through improvements in 
 the manner of preparing it and cooking it, and a more 
 economic manner of procuring the materials, was much 
 better than w^hat the soldiers had been receiving, and 
 yet was no greater expense to the government. He 
 also did much for the poor ; he founded soup-houses 
 which are yet called by his name. He wrote many 
 valuable essays on pauperism. But his principal work, 
 and of which present generations have the benefit, was 
 the laying out of the English Garden, the great park 
 of Munich, in 1789, under the Elector Carl Theodor. 
 Less than a hundred years ago these beautiful grounds 
 w^ere a dreary w^aste of pebbly strand and marshy 
 meadow, with scarcely a tree upon it. 
 
 In 1871 the American Academy of Arts and Sciences 
 published at Boston a very exhaustive biography of 
 Count Eumford, written by George E. Ellis. 
 
 1 once had an invoice to authenticate which quite 
 tickled me, and I have no doubt it tickled the recipients, 
 too. The party sending the merchandise intended to 
 be complimentary. It was a consignment of hops, 
 
 addressed to "Messrs. & Co., proprietors of a 
 
 corner in wheat in New York." 
 Q 81 
 
362^ HEALTH OF MUNICH 
 
 I believe many people are deterred from coming to 
 Munich because they have heard on all hands that it 
 is such an unhealthy place. 
 
 In Murray's " Handbook for South Germany" for 
 1867 it says, " Munich is a city of one hundred and 
 sixty-six thousand inhabitants, and one of the highest 
 cities of Europe, the climate of which is variable and 
 unhealthy." As succeeding editions of the book were 
 published the increase of the population was duly 
 noticed, but otherwise the sentence remained unaltered. 
 
 Some years ago Murray was the only companion of 
 the wandering Englishman and American in Europe. 
 Murray was the father of guide-book makers. The 
 many excellent works that have latterly sprung up are 
 all modelled after his. They still retain the character- 
 istic red cover ; they are still arranged on the plan 
 originated b}'' Murray, and it is not going too far to say 
 that many of them were freely copied from Murray. 
 At any rate, it was through such sources that travel- 
 lers all got the impression that Munich was a dread- 
 fully unhealthy city, a dangerous city, a city of the 
 pest, — the breeding-place of the typhus. 
 
 Every one knows what an influence the guide-book 
 has on the general traveller. One can see it in every 
 street, in every gallery, in every church, in every rail- 
 road car, and on every steamboat, how religiously 
 these books are studied. Their columns are doubly 
 and triply perused. They are studied before starting 
 on the journey, so as to be posted up as to what ought 
 to be seen ; they are devoutly read when standing in 
 front of the objects described (it is much better than 
 looking at the things themselves), and they are gone 
 over again when one returns home, so that one may 
 know what to talk about. 
 
 Murra}^, the forerunner of them all, has left his 
 impress on his followers. Years ago he was the only 
 one that spoke to us in our own language, and his red 
 breast was pressed in many a warm embrace by trav- 
 ellers of both sexes, both of Albion and of Columbia. 
 A young man at home, who had never travelled, and 
 whose affianced bride was doing Europe with her par- 
 
MURRArS ''HANDBOOK.'' 363 
 
 ents, was driven to the verge of distraction, to the 
 greenest depths of jealousy, when in one of her letters 
 she innocently wrote, " From the moment I arrived in 
 Europe, and wherever I roam, — by day and by night, 
 Murray is my faithful and inseparable companion." 
 
 Murray tells the traveller what he must see and 
 what he must do, what he must eat and what he must 
 pay; how he must dress and how he must act; and 
 indeed, the pile of information heaped up in the body 
 of the work is as reliable and useful as the paternal 
 advice in the introductory chapter is sound and whole- 
 some. Murray takes the traveller by the buttonhole 
 and says, "Look here, friend, don't you believe what 
 other people tell you, but do you go according to me, 
 and you're all right." Murray tells us just what we 
 want to know in travelling: he helps us along in our 
 history, and in our dates, and in our geography; he 
 kindly catches us under the arm when we are liable to 
 stumble into some architectural, mythological, or artis- 
 tical slough; he strews poetical patches of Byron and 
 other pathos in our path which come so a propos in 
 filling up letters home ; he tells us on high art authority 
 what pictures are to be examined and what particular 
 parts are to be admired, so that we may boldly and 
 without fear stalk up to the well-browned canvas and 
 point out beauties in its blackest depths, and then, 
 after having worked ourselves tired and hungry, he 
 leads us to the best and nearest restoring place, and 
 shows us upon the bill of fare the particular delicacy 
 for which the restaurant we are just in is celebrated. 
 Then, indeed, as we stretch our wearied limbs under 
 the table and reverse the tension of our necks, stiffened 
 from gazing upwards on martyred saints above the line, 
 and frescoed nymphs on far-off ceilings, by gazing 
 downwards upon the palatable things before us, — then 
 indeed, do we fully appreciate the varied merits of 
 our versatile friend, and as the delicious wine, or the 
 cool, frothy beer which he has recommended tingles 
 over our tongues, — then we exclaim, "Yes, it is true, 
 Murray is a great man, long may he live." 
 
 Is it, then, to bo wondered at that a paragraph so 
 
364 SANITARY CONDITION OF MUNICH. 
 
 ominous as the one just quoted concerning the unhealth- 
 fulness of Munich should deter hundreds from stopping 
 there, — should, in fact, deter many from going thereat 
 all ? Is it to be wondered at that the authorities of 
 the good city of Munich should at last think it worth 
 while to try to put an end to a paragraph that had 
 done so much injury to its reputation, by sending an 
 open letter to Murray requesting him to alter that 
 paragraph, and showing good reasons why he should, in 
 common justice, do so. 
 
 In 1867 the town councils took the matter into con- 
 sideration, and the Chief of the Municipal Board of 
 Health, Dr. M. Prank, was instructed to write out a re- 
 port on the sanitary condition of Munich, which report 
 was addressed to Mr. Murray, and which drew from 
 the latter the reply that although in former years the 
 application of the word unhealthy to Munich seemed to 
 him to have been correct, yet he was now convinced 
 that such was no longer the case, and that he would 
 take the opportunity in future editions of his work to 
 alter the statement, and to impress upon the travelling 
 public the fact that Munich is just as healthy a place 
 as the average of large cities. So much for Mr. Mur- 
 ray. I have not looked at the later editions of his 
 book, but presume he made the promised correction. 
 
 I have spent so many years in the beautiful Bavarian 
 capital, I have been treated with so much kindness by 
 its inhabitants, I have drunk in the many aesthetic 
 pleasures which Munich spreads out so copiously, that 
 I feel it would be unpardonable in me if I did not do 
 everything in my power to place things in their true 
 light, and to try to counteract the wide-spread impres- 
 sion of its unhealthfulness, which only those have who 
 do not know Munich well. As a help to doing this, I 
 cannot do better than to give a few extracts from the 
 pamphlet of Dr. Frank. 
 
 My light and easy reader, do not fear that I will heap 
 dry statistics upon you : I wish to make this particularly 
 one of the chapters which you do not skip. I do not 
 wish to bother you with too many figures, which al- 
 ways look so formidable in a book of this kind, but 
 
DEATH-RATE OF VARIOUS CITIES. 3G5 
 
 refer those who wish to have all the details to the 
 work itself, " Ueber die Gesundheits Verhaeltnisse 
 Muenchens — Ein offenes Sendschreiben von Dr. M. 
 Frank, Muenchen, 1870." 
 
 I shall first give a summary of Dr. Frank's letter, the 
 data of which reach only to the end of the year 1869, 
 and shall then state the results of observations made 
 from that year to the present time. 
 
 Dr. Frank says, *' The climate and the sanitary con- 
 dition of our Munich are so decried by Englishmen and 
 Americans, that, as I am credibly informed, many of 
 them have the greatest fear of setting foot in our city, 
 let alone of staying here for any time. This fear has 
 to a great extent been engendered by a paragraph in 
 Murray's 'Handbook for South Germany,' which is in 
 the hands of thousands of tourists. It is now high 
 time to combat this false statement, and to produce the 
 proof that our climate is not unwholesome, — not worse 
 than that of hundreds of other cities which strangers 
 visit and sojourn in without the slightest compunction, 
 — and to show that the sanitary condition of Munich is 
 better than that of man}" other cities of the same size, 
 as the statistical figures bearing on this subject prove." 
 
 The writer states that having been (at that time) for 
 the last seventeen years Chief of the District Board of 
 Health, and it being his duty to make monthly official 
 reports on the sanitary condition and mortality of 
 Munich, and being a sworn officer of the crown, he has 
 the best opportunity of procuring reliable information, 
 and is bound, by virtue of his office, to give an impartial 
 statement on the subject. 
 
 According to Oesterlein, "Handbook of Medical 
 Statistics," and Hausner, " Comparative Statistics of 
 Europe," the average death-rate of the principal cities 
 of Europe is as follows. In Geneva, which figures as 
 the healthiest city, the number of deaths per thousand 
 inhabitants is 22. Next comes FranUfurt-on-tho-Main 
 with 24 deaths per thousand. London, despite the 
 crowded and filthy state in which the poorer classes 
 dwell (and how squalid is the wretchedness of the ])oor 
 there I), — London, despite its fogs and rains and damp- 
 
 31* 
 
366 DEATH-RATE OF MUNICH, 
 
 ness, and coal-smoke, and the villanous smells which 
 used to rise from the Thames, has always been and still 
 is one of the healthiest cities. The mortality remains 
 almost steadily fixed at 24 per thousand. Stuttgart, 
 where so many of our countrymen sojourn, has 25 per 
 thousand. Lubeck, 26 ; Leipzig and Berlin, about 28 ; 
 Paris and Cologne, each 29 ; St. Petersburg, a little 
 over 32 ; Florence, 33 ; Dresden, another German 
 asylum for our countrymen, and Hamburg, each 34 ; 
 Konigsberg, 35; Liverpool, 36; Prague, Amsterdam, 
 and Eome, each from 39 to 40 ; Vienna, 40 ; Stock- 
 holm, 41 ; and Pest, 42. The mortality in our cities is 
 not so high, generally, with the exception of New Or- 
 leans, which is given as 42J per thousand. New York 
 for the last Qve years is given at 27i per thousand ; 
 Jersey City for the last nine years at a trifle over 24, 
 and Brooklyn at 33J per thousand. Baltimore from 
 1850 to 1880 had 24J deaths per thousand inhabitants, 
 and from 1881 to 1883 about 22^ per thousand. The 
 figures given for the foregoing foreign cities are taken 
 some years back ; it is possible tbere may be some 
 slight improvement in them at the present day. 
 
 In Munich, the average number of deaths per thou- 
 sand inhabitants for a period of about twenty years 
 back is 33J. 
 
 This figure is very high, and to those who put their 
 confidence in figures alone, Munich would certainly 
 appear to compare unfavorably with most other cities, 
 and those who hastil}^ scan the columns of statistical 
 works would be sure to stamp Munich as an unhealthy 
 place, because so many people die there. But some 
 Tvords of explanation are necessary here to account for 
 the discrepancy between the statement that Munich is 
 no worse in a sanitary point of view than many other 
 large cities, and the apparent high rate of mortality 
 which it exhibits in figures. 
 
 I may begin by saying that the Munichcrs are strong, 
 hearty, and enduring, and the number of persons that 
 reach the age of eighty, ninety, and even beyond ninety 
 years is as great as anywhere else. It is the first year 
 of life that is trying to the little monks, and that is 
 
MARRIAGE LAWS. 367 
 
 where bo many of them fall, and the percentage of the^e 
 deaths is conspicuously large, for in Munich nearly one- 
 half of all the deaths take place during the first year of 
 the existence of its incipient citizens, whereas in most 
 other large European cities only about thirty to thirty- 
 three per cent, of all deaths are those of children under 
 one year of age. In our American cities the average 
 of such deaths is not more than about twenty-four per 
 cent, of all deaths. Brooklyn figures as the heaviest in 
 this respect, with twenty-seven per cent, of all deaths ; 
 New York, Jersey City, and Baltimore, with twenty-six 
 per cent., while in New Orleans, which shows a high 
 figure in the general mortality, the deaths of children 
 under one year of age is only twenty per cent, of all 
 deaths. 
 
 But how is it that so many of these poor little 
 worms of humanity are thus early crushed in Munich? 
 
 In the first place, look at the number of illegitimate 
 children born in Munich. In former years, and indeed 
 up to the year 1862, the number of illegitimate births 
 was about equal to the number of legitimate birth. 
 Take, for instance, the year 1861. In that year there 
 were 2552 legitimate and 2513 illegitimate children 
 born in Munich. In the year 1859 the number of legi- 
 timate children was 2478, and of illegitimate 2487 ; in 
 the year 1858 there were 2334 legitimate and 2339 illegi- 
 timate; so that these two years show even an excess of 
 illegitimate births. From the year 1862 the proportion 
 of illegitimate births steadily and rapidly decreased, 
 and from the years 1870 to 1884 not much more than 
 one-third of all births are those of illegitimate children. 
 
 The cause of this decrease is the gradual lightening 
 of the marriage laws, which were formerly very hard 
 in Bavaria, making it in many cases almost impossible 
 for parties to marry. Many parties who otherwise would 
 have formed a legal union, had from the very begin- 
 ning of their acquaintanceship no ])rospect and no hope 
 of ever being able to marry. The consequence was 
 that thousands of ])air8 lived with each other and were 
 true to each other as if their union had been rocogni/AHi 
 by the church or the state, but their children were 
 
368 BABY-FARMERS. 
 
 illegitimate. The very stringency of the law which in 
 80 many cases put marriage quite out of the question 
 with those who were inclined thereto, and who were 
 only debarred from having the rites performed because 
 they were not able to furnish proof of their means 
 (which the state always insisted on) to support each 
 other and their future families, only furthered immor- 
 ality by making it an inducement for young couples 
 not to wait, where they knew waiting would be in 
 vain, or when, even in the most favored cases, the best 
 years of their life would be gone before they could ap- 
 proach the altar. But, living in such a state of illegal 
 intimacy, they had the same ease in getting rid of each 
 other as they had of coming together. The offspring 
 of such parties was, of course, illegitimate, and had to 
 go through life without the father's name. Whatever 
 may be the natural love of parents for such progeny, 
 it would be a stretch of sentimentalism to believe that 
 they could have the same interest as that of a duly 
 married couple in the bodily and spiritual welfare of 
 children for whose support the law only bound the 
 father for fourteen years, and the mother only in so far 
 as that the children should not become a burden to the 
 state, and whom either father and mother could disown 
 at any time after their coming of age. 
 
 Is it, then, to be wondered at that no special pains 
 are taken to help such poor bastards on their legs, or 
 that, being only an encumbrance, they are exposed in 
 the tender days of their first existence to every danger, 
 and subjected to every neglect that is calculated to 
 take their breath away that their unnatural shepherds 
 can allow themselves without stranding on the rocks of 
 criminality ? 
 
 In England they call these people " baby-farmers,'* 
 — here they have the more poetical expression of 
 "angel-makers." The children suffer in both coun- 
 tries, but in Germany there is some slight consolation 
 expressed in the term, which proclaims, at least, that 
 the little innocents, if prematurely shoved out of this 
 world and all its troubles, are furnished with wings for 
 a better one. 
 
INFANT MORTALITY, 369 
 
 Again, let me here note another cause of the exces- 
 sive mortality of Munich children during the first 
 twelve months of their lives. Taking the total number 
 of all children born in Munich, high and low, rich and 
 poor, we find that only about seven and a half per 
 cent, are nourished at the breast. Instead of getting 
 what nature intended them to have, they are stuffed 
 with thick, clammy pap, or swilled with cow's milk, 
 which, in large cities, is generally not of the best, as is 
 well known, and given to them from bottles and 
 through india-rubber tubes that are not always any of 
 the cleanest. This is trying to the poor babies, and 
 life seems to their weak constitutions like a hard riddle, 
 and they soon give it up.* 
 
 Eeferring again to the period 1862 to 1869, in which, 
 with an average population of 171,580, the average 
 annual number of deaths was 5718 (or 33J deaths to 
 each thousand inhabitants), if we deduct seventeen per 
 cent., which is the excess of deaths of children under 
 one year of age, over deaths of the same class in other 
 large cities, we would have in the above seven years' 
 period 4746 deaths in general, instead of 5718; and 
 this would give for the average population of 171,580 
 one death to each thirty-six inhabitants, or about 
 28 deaths per thousand of the population. 
 
 There is still another factor which must be taken 
 into consideration — which helps to swell the death- 
 rate. It has always been the curious custom at Mu- 
 nichf to include the number of still-births in the death 
 figures, a custom which is not observed in other coun- 
 tries (for instance, not in all England nor in any of our 
 American cities). The number of such cases if reported 
 as deaths is, in Munich, about the twenty-first part of 
 all deaths. Making allowance for such cases, which 
 
 * A proof that the climatic conditions of Munich are not to be taken 
 as the cause for the before-mentioned high percentage of deaths (33i 
 per thousand), but that social conditions and usages have much to do 
 ivith it, is the fact that among the quite large Jew population the deaths 
 are only about 15 per thousand. 
 
 t Until the year 1875. From that year on the number of still-births 
 is not included in the death-roll. 
 
370 THE TYPHUS. 
 
 cannot properly be considered as deaths, the average 
 of mortality of Munich for the period before referred 
 to would be about 27 per thousand, which brings 
 Munich up to about the standard of Berlin and New 
 York, and makes it show favorably over Paris and 
 St. Petersburg, Florence, Dresden, Hamburg, Prague, 
 Amsterdam, Rome, Vienna, Stockholm, and many 
 other cities. 
 
 For the last fifleen years the death-rate of Munich 
 shows no increase over the rate just given. It will 
 thus be seen that Munich is as healthful a place as 
 the majority of large cities ; and when it is borne in 
 mind that the principal item which entei's into the 
 high death-rate is the unusually great mortality of 
 children in their first year, it must appear that there 
 is no reason for strangers being more afraid of so- 
 journing there than in any other city to which they 
 flock, and in which they remain for longer or shorter 
 periods for purposes of business or recreation or study. 
 
 But the most dreaded enemy, against whom the hue 
 and cry is taken up by all st lingers, is the typhus. 
 But in what part of the world does this enemy of 
 mankind not exist ? If we go back some twenty-five 
 or thirty years, we find indeed that the number of 
 deaths from typhus in Munich was somewhat greater 
 than in many other large cities. For the ten yeai-s, 
 1860 to 1870, four and a half per cent, of all deaths 
 were those from typhus. But Paris and Stuttgart had 
 just the same proportion, and Vienna had five and a 
 half per cent, of all deaths from typhus. From the 
 year 1867 the number of deaths from typhus in Munich 
 showed a marked decrease, the average number of 
 deaths from typhus being only about three per cent, 
 of all deaths. In 1872 the number of deaths from 
 typhus was five and a half per cent, of all deaths, but 
 that is the only time it has been at that high figure 
 within the last thirty or forty years. But from the 
 year 1872 on, it is interesting to note the gradual de- 
 crease of the deaths from typhus in Munich. The per- 
 centage of deaths from typhus to the whole number 
 of deaths was for 1873, 2.86 per cent., and, successively, 
 
THE TYPHUS. 371 
 
 3.87, 3.24, 1.90, 2.37, 1.50, 2.88, 1.86, 0.57, 0.58, 0.59, 
 and 0.47 in 1884. 
 
 There is probably not a city in Europe that can show 
 such a small percentage of deaths from typhus. Turn- 
 ing now to our own cities, we find that the percentage 
 of deaths from tj^phus to all deaths is, in San Fran- 
 cisco, 3.60; in Jersey City, 2.64; in Rochester, 4.0; in 
 Cleveland, Ohio, 3.0; in St. Louis, 2.44; in Providence, 
 Rhode Island, 3.39. I have no doubt that in many of 
 our cities the percentage is still higher, but I have only 
 been able to receive official statements from some fifteen 
 of our larger cities. 
 
 The assertion that in Munich the typhus is par- 
 ticularly dangerous for strangers is quite unfounded. 
 In the years 1864 and 1868 a careful list was made of 
 all strangers stopping for a longer time in Munich, and 
 of the two thousand two hundred and thirty-four 
 strangers in 1864, and of the two thousand and seven 
 strangers in 1868, only 1.07 per cent, of the total num- 
 ber of deaths among them was from typhus. I may 
 here remark that in my personal experience of many 
 years in which I was brought into contact with many 
 Americans and English, or at least, generally heard of 
 all cases of illness or death among them, such cases 
 were not greater in number than at other places. It 
 must be remembered that a large proportion of the 
 English and American colony of Munich is composed 
 of young men pursuing their studies there. It is 
 natural that such persons are not as careful as regards 
 precautions against illness as older persons, or as they 
 would be if under the care of their parents and under 
 the restrictions of home influence. Many of these per- 
 sist in continuing habits contracted in their own coun- 
 try, such as drinking immense quantities of water, 
 sleeping with the windows open, and wearing very thin 
 clothing on summer evenings, — all of which may bo 
 quite right at home, but do not suit for the climate of 
 Munich. The figures just given are taken, too, in years 
 in which the general mortality from typhus was much 
 greater than it is now, and at present they would 
 bo reduced to less than one-half per cent, of deaths. 
 
372 THE CHOLERA, 
 
 I now come to another of those grim diseases which 
 strangers have made into a perfect bugbear, and, espe- 
 cially since the year 1873, frightening off thousands 
 who otherwise would have flocked to Munich to par- 
 take of the treats, artistic, musical, and scientific, which 
 it at all times offers. 
 
 Munich has within the present century had three 
 visitations of the Asiatic cholera : in the year 1836-37, 
 in 1854, and in 1873-74. But then it has been free 
 from cholera at times when other parts of Europe were 
 attacked by it, as, for instance, in the years 1848-49 
 and 1865-66. Compared with other cities on the con- 
 tinent, Munich has not suffered as much in this respect 
 as Hamburg and Berlin, the former of which cities has 
 had fourteen visitations of cholera since its first appear- 
 ance in Germany, and the latter twelve. 
 
 In the years 1836-37 the cholera epidemic at Munich 
 lasted four months, and the number of deaths from 
 cholera for each thousand inhabitants was ten. In the 
 year 1854 (during the time of the first International 
 Exhibition held at Munich, and which was the second 
 of the great International Exhibitions which have since 
 been held in almost all countries) the cholera raged for 
 six months, and the number of deaths was twenty- 
 three to each thousand inhabitants. During the years 
 1873-74 the epidemic lasted ten months, but the num- 
 ber of deaths per thousand inhabitants was only eight. 
 The virulence of the disease during this last period 
 cannot in the least compare with that of the outbreak 
 of the cholera only the year before (1872-73) in Hun- 
 gary. In all Hungary and Transylvania, four hundred 
 and forty-seven thousand five hundred and seventy-one 
 persons, or about thirty per thousand of the whole 
 population, were attacked by the disease, and 42.2 per 
 cent, of these died ; equal to about twelve per thousand 
 inhabitants. In the parts visited by the cholera, fifty- 
 three out of every thousand persons were attacked, 
 and twenty-two died. In the city of Pesth about thir- 
 teen per thousand of the inhabitants died. Berlin was 
 visited by the cholera in the years 1831, '32, '37, '48, 
 '49, '50, '52, '53, '55, '^^, '71, and '73. In the years 1837 
 
THE CHOLERA, 373 
 
 and 1839 the number of deaths per thousand inhabitants 
 was 8.85, in the year 1866, 8.33, and in the year 1831, 
 6.21. In other years the death-rate was much less. 
 
 It is true that the year 1854 was a dark one for 
 Munich, and, as I have said before, the cholera broke 
 out soon after the opening of the International Exhibi- 
 tion, when there were crowds of strangers in the city. 
 These, of course, soon fled, but not before many of them 
 had been attacked by the fatal disease. The condition 
 of the city at that time, in regard to good water-sup- 
 ply, drainage, general cleanliness, etc., was quite differ- 
 ent to that of the present day. Since then vast im- 
 provements have been made in every direction on an 
 extended scale ; but of this I shall speak later. 
 
 It is the cholera epidemic of 1873 and 1874 which 
 here can have present interest for us. It was dis- 
 tinguished from the two former epidemics, not by a 
 greater intensity, but by its longer duration, and by 
 the peculiarity of its appearance, or rather, reappear- 
 ance during the coldest weather of the year. In 1854 
 the epidemic commenced towards the end of July and 
 lasted till the beginning of December; in 1873 it com- 
 menced the end of July likewise, reached its height in 
 August, and gradually decreased through September. 
 In October only single cases, and at intervals, appeared. 
 From the first to the nineteenth of November there 
 were only two cases reported. As the cold season had 
 now commenced, and which is generally looked upon 
 as a safeguard against epidemic diseases of this type, 
 great hopes were entertained that the danger was over, 
 at least for the winter. But just at that time the dis- 
 ease suddenly increased in malignancy, and on the 
 fourth of December had reached a degree of virulence 
 even greater than during the hottest weather of 
 August. Towards the beginning of January, 1874, the 
 number of cases gradually diminished, but it increased 
 again during the latter part of the month. During 
 February the number steadily decreased, and in March 
 and April there were only sporadic cases, and the last 
 case of cholera was reported on the twenty-seventh of 
 April, 1874. 
 
 32 
 
374 THE CHOLERA. 
 
 It is almost unnecessary to say, that even at the 
 height of this last cholera epidemic it was never as bad 
 as outside reports made it out to be. The Medical 
 Times and Gazette^ of London, published a very bitter 
 article at the time, in which it denounced Munich as 
 the breeding-place of cholera, and it advised all English 
 physicians to warn their countrymen from going there, 
 — and it concluded with the hope that the "taboo 
 would soon be taken off one of the most beautiful and 
 interesting of modern cities." The worst day was the 
 11th of December, 1873, when the number of cases 
 were reported at thirty-three, and of deaths twenty-six. 
 But the days on which the number of deaths reached 
 twenty were very few ; the number of fatal cases was 
 about one-half of the whole, but that is the usual pro- 
 portion in all countries where the cholera has prevailed. 
 During the ten months' period in 1873 and 1874 the 
 number of deaths from cholera was eight per thousand 
 inhabitants. 
 
 Almost all the American and English families left 
 Munich during the last epidemic, — still, there were 
 numbers of young men remained. I do not know of 
 any deaths of Americans from the cholera (except one, 
 which I shall presently speak of), nor that any of them 
 were attacked by it. 
 
 Among our American larger cities there is scarcely 
 one that has escaped very serious visitations of the 
 Asiatic cholera. New York, since the year 1832, has 
 had the epidemic no less than sixteen times ; Jersey 
 City, seven times; St, Louis, five times; Cleveland 
 and Eochester, four times; Baltimore and Providence, 
 three times. The duration of the disease, to be sure, 
 was not very long in either of these places, vary- 
 ing generally from three to six months, but the death- 
 rate was in many cases very high. In New York, in 
 1832, the number of deaths per thousand inhabitants 
 was 15.64, and in 1849, 10.24. In Baltimore, in 1832, 
 the number of deaths from cholera per thousand in- 
 habitants was ten. In St. Louis, in 1849, there were 
 sixty-seven deaths per thousand inhabitants, and in 
 1866 there were 17.3 deaths to each thousand inhabit- 
 
THE CHOLERA. 375 
 
 ants. In Providence, in 1832, when the cholera lasted 
 less than three months, there were twenty-five deaths 
 to every thirty-six cases of cholera, so that over sixty- 
 nine per cent, of all cases ended fatally; and in 1849, 
 when the epidemic lasted six months in the same city, 
 the number of fatal cases were sixty-six and a half 
 per cent, of all cases of cholera. 
 
 There is a circumstance connected with the last cholera 
 epidemic of Munich which gives it a painful interest 
 to Americans. On the 24th of June, 1873, just as I was 
 about stepping into the railway-car to leave Munich 
 for the enjoyment of a six-weeks' leave of absence, a 
 messenger came up to me with a note from one of the 
 hotels, stating that there was an American lying there 
 dangerousl}^ ill, and begging me to come at once to see 
 what could be done for him. I requested the vice- 
 consul, who had accompanied me to the station, to go 
 there, which he did. The stranger was just about 
 being removed to the hospital, where he died the next 
 day. This was the first case of Asiatic cholera, and its 
 victim was Eev. Pliny Wood, a Methodist clergyman, 
 from East Cambridge, Massachusetts, fifty-three years of 
 age, travelling alone. He had just returned from Vienna, 
 where the cholera had already made its appearance, 
 and he had contracted the disease there. He was 
 buried in the southern cemetery of Munich. This was 
 looked upon as an isolated and exceptional case, and it 
 did not create much uneasiness, as it was well estab- 
 lished that the disease did not originate at Munich. 
 A week passed over before the people were startled 
 by the fact that the epidemic had broken out amidst 
 them. 
 
 When the disease had at length spent its force, when 
 the last lingering seeds only took effect after intervals 
 of several days between the cases, and when things 
 began to brighten, and when the people of Munich 
 were eased in their minds, as if a heavy weight had 
 been lifted from them and were rejoicing that the long 
 period of dread suspense was over, a death occurred, 
 the news of which was transmitted by the lightning 
 wires to all parts of the civilized world. It was the 
 
376 DEATH OF KAVLBACH. 
 
 death of Wilhelm von Kaulbach, the painter, Germany's 
 greatest satirist, who had for many years made Munich 
 his home, and where his grandest works were all pro- 
 duced. He was taking recreation in his garden one 
 afternoon, being as well as usual, when he suddenly 
 felt pain. He was persuaded to go to bed, although he 
 did so unwillingly, and even then he kept on smoking 
 his cigar, which was his inseparable companion. He 
 had lain down more out of consideration for the anxiety 
 of his family than that he felt the necessity for it him- 
 self It is said that in the midst of his pain he jokingly 
 remarked that it would be a funny thing if the cholera 
 caught him at last, after his many escapes from other 
 ills. It made short work of him. He died on the 7th 
 of April, 1874, after a sickness of only a few hours. 
 
 This was a great blow for the art city : it was not 
 alone the loss of a great man it had to deplore, but the 
 prominence of his death — its suddenness — spread the 
 fact of the existence of the cholera, and of its attack- 
 ing rich as well as poor, — of its attacking those who in 
 their homes, in villas detached from the thickly-settled 
 parts of the town, had the best means of guarding 
 against it, — to all parts of the world. It was, there- 
 fore, supposed that the cholera was raging in Munich 
 to a fearful extent. Other places tried to make capital 
 out of Munich's misfortune, everywhere the accounts 
 were dreadfully exaggerated, and it was made out that 
 Munich was verily the most dangerous place on the 
 face of the earth : especially in Switzerland the good 
 hotel-keepers tried to keep their houses full by warn- 
 ing strangers not on any account to go near the fated 
 city, for they knew that the time otherwise devoted to 
 Munich would then probably fall to their share, and, 
 as time is money, they thought it would not be amiss 
 to make hay while the sun shone for them, and the 
 black pall rested on the city of the little monk. 
 
 I was in frequent receipt of letters during this time 
 from travelling Americans, asking me to tell them can- 
 didly if it were safe for them to stay overnight, or 
 even if it were not dangerous for them to only pass 
 through Munich. I remember one party wrote me 
 
FORMER CONDITION OF MUNICH, 377 
 
 out a statement of the peculiar constitution of each of 
 his children, specifying to what disorders they were 
 most predisposed, and asking me if it would "really be 
 tempting Providence" to stop for a day or two. Of 
 course 1 could not take the responsibility of giving any 
 advice on the subject. I sent such inquirers the daily 
 number of cases and of deaths, giving them the popu- 
 lation of the city, and let them judge for themselves. 
 
 Some thirty or forty years ago Munich was, it is true, 
 an unhealthy place, and there were many existing evils. 
 There were no canals, no drains, and but little good 
 water. All the liquid refuse from the houses and 
 workshops slowly wound its way along gutters that 
 were not paved nor confined by curbstones, or stag- 
 nated there. This slimy run, or rather creeper, was 
 the only thing that divided the streets from the side- 
 walks, which latter, like the streets, were also paved 
 with sharp cobble-stones, only that they were some- 
 what smaller and more poinded, wounding the feet 
 through the thickest soles, so that it was rather a re- 
 lief to walk in the middle of the road, which most 
 people did. That was the state of affairs in the heart 
 of the city. In the outside streets there was only sand 
 and pebbles, which in wet weather were of the consist- 
 ency of a poultice, and when the frost came out of the 
 ground in the spring, one almost sank in up to the 
 knees, and it was necessary to have tight-fitting boots 
 if one did not want them to be sucked off one's feet. 
 The numerous arms of the Isar which rushed through 
 the city were uncovered, and their waters were tainted 
 with the filth from tanneries, dyeing-works, slaughter- 
 sheds, and the closets of the houses which bordered 
 them. Offensive smells were as prevalent as those for 
 which Cologne used to be celebrated. 
 
 The ground of the vast plain upon which Munich is 
 built is Alpine rubble, from twenty to forty feet in 
 depth, resting upon a stratum of marl, probably somo 
 hundreds of feet thick, and is very permeable both to 
 water and to air. The marl, which is exposed to sight 
 only in parts of the steep left banks of the Isar, is the 
 sediment of an antediluvian lake, which in the tertiary 
 
 32* 
 
378 SOIL OF MUNICH, 
 
 period spread over the whole of the Bavarian upper 
 plain. This solid bed of marl is impermeable to water, 
 and forms a water-tight bottom for the whole section, 
 and under the bed of the Isar also. The bed of the 
 Isar being the lowest part of the whole plain, the 
 ground water naturally drains from both sides of the 
 river together. The interstices of the pebbles which 
 cover this water-tight bottom are mostly filled with 
 water and air, and constitute more than a third part of 
 the entire mass. It can be truly said that the ground 
 on which the Munich houses are built is one-third air. 
 The experiment to prove this can be easily made by 
 taking any vessel and filling it with the soil by shak- 
 ing it down compactly. Bj then pouring water in it 
 one can see how much of the space was before unoc- 
 cupied. 
 
 Such a soil has certain advantages as well as disad- 
 vantages. One of the former is, that there are seldom 
 wet walls and damp houses, which is so often the case 
 in other cities. Even the houses in the immediate 
 neighborhood of the Isar are not damper than those 
 which are quite distant from it. The water which 
 penetrates the soil from above does not stagnate, for 
 the solid bed of marl under the pebbles has a strong in- 
 clination towards the river, and carries off the water 
 below the bed of the latter. Not only the river, but 
 the ground water also has a strong fall, which prevents 
 stagnation. The great disadvantage of the soil is that 
 the interstices are not filled with clean water alone, but 
 with the filth also that enters into it. It is wrong to 
 suppose that the porosity of the soil is like a drain, 
 which carries everything through it: it is more like a 
 filter, which allows the clean water to pass and retains 
 what one most wishes to get rid of. It is, therefore, 
 of the greatest importance in such a soil that all closet 
 wells and sinks should be made perfectly tight. In 
 former years too little attention was paid to this, and 
 as the pumps were not very far from such sinks, and 
 their walls not being water-tight either, the water was 
 thus contaminated, for the liquid oozed into the pump 
 wells, making the water disagreeable to the taste and 
 
MUNICH'S WATER-SUPPLY, 379 
 
 unhealthy. The water itself, independent of these in- 
 fluences, was not bad, as has been sufficiently proved 
 by chemical analysis.* 
 
 The water, which is brought into the city in pipes 
 from the two water-works at Brumenthal and Thal- 
 kirchen, is quite as good as the water furnished to most 
 cities ; but Munich having grown so rapidly, the sup- 
 ply from these two places is not sufficient, and a new 
 water-supply from the Mangfall — ample enough for a 
 city of three times the size of Munich — has just been 
 opened. 
 
 Within the last twenty years Munich has been un- 
 derlaid with a complete net-work of admirably con- 
 structed canals, which carry away all the refuse matter 
 to a point in the Isar far below the city. The bene- 
 ficial results of these canals have already made them- 
 selves apparent in the lessening of disease and in de- 
 creasing the death-roll. 
 
 But it is not only the system of canals which has 
 been occupying the attention of the city authorities for 
 the last quarter of a century. They have graded and 
 paved the streets and made gutters with granite curb- 
 stones, and compelled householders to pave the side- 
 walks with hard and very durable artificial stone flags, 
 uniform throughout the whole city, and laid in cement, 
 thus forming a walk as even as a floor and very agree- 
 able for the feet. The rain pipes from the roofs run 
 beneath the pavements directly into the canals. Many 
 of the old, narrow and crooked streets have given 
 place to new ones, and there is a free circulation of air 
 through all parts of the city. Most of the streets are 
 very wide, and I know of no place where there are so 
 many open squares planted with trees and laid out in 
 flower-beds as Munich possesses. The area of the 
 built-up part of Munich is greater in proportion to the 
 number of inhabitants than that of any city of Europe. 
 The city fathers have not only done their work well, 
 but they have compelled the citizens to do their share 
 likewise. In all new houses the closets, sinks and 
 
 * See Pettenhofer'fl works. 
 
380 CLIMATE OF MUNICH. 
 
 wells and drains have to be built in a certain prescribed 
 substantial manner, and in all the old houses altera- 
 tions and improvements must be made in those respects 
 as far as practicable. 
 
 The sanitary condition of Munich is, therefore, no 
 longer what it was thirty years ago ; in fact, I do not 
 think there is a city on the continent where so much 
 has been done in the way of useful and beneficial im- 
 provement within the last quarter of a century, as 
 there. The streets and public places are kept in good 
 repair and are well cleaned, — indeed, this forces itself 
 on the attention of most strangers. How many Ameri- 
 cans have made the remark to me, " What a beauti- 
 fully clean city you have, and how orderly every- 
 thing is !" 
 
 As to the climate of Munich and the sudden changes 
 of temperature, of course nothing can be done to alter 
 that. Munich lies about sixteen hundred feet above 
 the level of the sea, and is one of the most elevated 
 cities of Europe. The plain upon which it stands is of 
 vast extent ; the air comes directly from the moun- 
 tains, and there being no stagnant water in the neigh- 
 borhood, it is pure and bracing ; and Munich not being 
 a manufacturing nor a commercial city, it is not tainted 
 with the belching smoke of factory-chimneys and the 
 exhalations that rise from the wharves of seaport 
 places. The middle temperature is in winter, about 
 27° Fahrenheit ; spring, 42 J°; summer, 64° ; and autumn 
 42°. It never gets as hot in summer nor as cold in 
 winter as in our Eastern cities. The heat is some- 
 times very intense, but the heat is in the sun's rays 
 and not in the air, for on going into the shade or on 
 entering a house one always experiences a grateful re- 
 lief from the burning heat of the sun. With us the 
 air is hot through and through, and at night we suffer 
 almost as much as during the day. In Munich the 
 nights are always cool, and even in midsummer — even 
 if the thermometer has been over ninety in the shade — 
 one is glad to have a light blanket or two as a cover 
 at night. On the hottest days, as soon as the sun goes 
 down the air begins to cool. The changes of tem- 
 
RAIN. 381 
 
 perature, especially in summer, are great and sudden : 
 the thermometer may fall thirty degrees in a few 
 hours. Whenever it rains in Munich it is cold. It is 
 true that in such a climate some precaution is neces- 
 sary, and one must dress accordingly. One should 
 always have a light overcoat or a shawl ready, even 
 when the hot spell is at its height, for they will be 
 needed when evening comes on ; but with sensible at- 
 tention to the matter of dress, one need not be more 
 liable to take cold at Munich than at any other place. 
 One cannot disguise the fact that there is a good deal 
 of rainy Aveather in Munich, and that it often rains for 
 a long time uninterruptedly. One must remember that 
 one is here very near the clouds, and there is often a 
 great amount of moisture in the air, even when it does 
 not rain. Munich is certainly not the place a consump- 
 tive, or any one suffering with a lung or bronchial com- 
 plaint, would select for the benefit of his health ; such 
 people must go to the land where 
 
 " The citron and olive are fairest of fruit, 
 And the voice of the nightingale never is mute," 
 
 or some similarly constituted country, just the same as 
 with us, if consumptives had their choice, they would 
 prefer the climate of Florida to that of Philadelphia or 
 New York ; yet Munich is not so dangerous a place for 
 consumptives as either of those cities. 
 
 For persons suffering from any nervous diseases the 
 climate of Munich is particularly invigorating. Many 
 persons who have sojourned there have told me that 
 their nerves had grown stronger and sounder, and that 
 they felt themselves much better and more elastic in 
 body and in spirits than at home. Dysenterj-, of which 
 we have so much in all our cities, is almost unknown 
 here. Intermittent fever is seldom met with except in 
 the hospitals, and then only among strangers, who 
 have probably brought it with them from some other 
 place. Scrofula and caries are diseases seldom appear- 
 ing, and strangers afflicted therewith generally find the 
 air of Munich does them good. 
 
 I have tried to give within a small compass an im- 
 
382 DIPLOMACY. 
 
 partial and a reasonably full statement of the sanitary 
 condition of Munich, based partly upon my own obser- 
 vations and experience during my long residence there, 
 and upon the statistical information given by the au- 
 thorities I have already mentioned, and which may be 
 relied upon for being correct ; and it would be a satis- 
 faction for me if I could believe that this chapter has 
 done any good in contributing a mite towards the dis- 
 pelling of the senseless and unjustifiable charges made 
 against Munich. 
 
 CHAPTEE XXIV. 
 
 Diplomacy — Quarrel between circus man and wife — Circus people's busi- 
 ness with consul — No permission to perform — Japanese acrobats — 
 Uses of the Odeon — Yankee girl and Richard Wagner — " Oh, hell" — 
 Stretching conscience — Boy with talent for art and music — The dying 
 man and his obliging friend. 
 
 The first clause of section 1738 of the Eevised Stat- 
 utes of the United States says, '' No consular officer 
 shall exercise diplomatic functions;" no, of course not, 
 — diplomacy for a consul indeed ! I startle at the 
 words, I shiver at the idea. I fall down and thank an 
 all-wise, an all-knowing, an all-feeling government that 
 has spared us the glittering responsibilities that beset 
 the path of the hardy diplomat. 
 
 Diplomacy is a colossal pyramid to which the biggest 
 of the wonders of Ghiseh would but serve as an apex. 
 But its position (like everything else pertaining to this 
 inscrutable science) is just the very reverse of what 
 an ordinary mind would expect, for it stands, not upon 
 its base, but upon its point ; the big blocks are at the 
 top, and everything settles down on the little fellow 
 below. 
 
 The great secret of diplomacy is always to shift the 
 blame on somebody else, — to funnel down the responsi- 
 bility from the top to the bottom. 
 
 We'll suppose one of our beloved citizens, most likely 
 one who has deserted his own nest and has been taken 
 
DIPLOMACY. 383 
 
 Up under our wing, on visiting a foreign country (say 
 Germany) suffers a grievance, or imagines he does, at 
 the hands of the government of that country. 
 
 Most of the thus injured parties rush at once to the 
 nearest consul or minister to obtain immediate bloody 
 redress, or if they are of a less rabid turn, to claim, at 
 least, inky satisfaction. But some few of these bottle 
 up their wrath to carry it across the water with them, 
 that they may let it out at headquarters. We will 
 suppose one of the latter cases. 
 
 When the injured individual gets home he makes a 
 dreadful blow about the scaly treatment he received 
 abroad, and reports his case at once to the President of 
 the United States. The President, clearly, has nothing 
 to do with such matters, so he gently wafts it over to 
 the Secretary of State. The Secretary of State gets up 
 a despatch to the United States minister in the country 
 where the reported outrage was committed : the min- 
 ister examines his map, and after some study finds out 
 where the place is. He has two consuls-general under 
 him whom he can travel over and take the start from 
 as if he were standing at the forks of a road and were 
 only doubtful as to which one he should take to lead 
 him in the direction he wants to go. He chooses the 
 right one; and the consul-general then gets his in- 
 structions to give his attention to the matter at his 
 earliest convenience. The consul-general, of course, 
 does not soil his fingers with such work. He tackles 
 the proper consul under him in writing, and instructs 
 him again to give his attention to the matter at his 
 earliest convenience. The matter having thus succes- 
 sively settled down from the higher to the lower officer, 
 and reached its mean level, it is time to give the thing 
 a fresh start. The consul, a man of spirit, takes a 
 higher flight; he skies the question to the Eoyal Pres- 
 ident of the district where the supposed malfeasance 
 was committed. The Royal President goes downwards 
 again. He writes to one of the head officers of one of 
 th<5 subdivisions of that district about it, thus packing 
 it down into narrower limits. This last person com- 
 presses it into still narrower limits and pitches into the 
 
384 DIPLOMACY, 
 
 burgomaster of the place which was the scene of the 
 outrage ; this gives him a chance too to make a show 
 of his authority, for the parties are getting down lower 
 in the scale of importance, and it is a good thing now 
 and then for a superior officer to remind the fellow 
 under him of who he is and what he is there for. 
 
 But every beery burgomaster of even the smallest 
 town is a diplomat in his way, for he has a rusty 
 clerk or two that he can knock about for a couple of 
 weeks before he condescends to dip his pen to sign 
 the closely-written statement made from his dictation. 
 The answer, in due course of waiting, countersigning, 
 and counter-commenting, worms its way back through 
 the same channels and reaches the consul. The consul 
 then sends in his report to the consul-general (not 
 being allowed to address so high a functionary as a 
 minister directly). The consul-general turns it over 
 to one of his clerks to dish up, adding his comments on 
 the case, as if he found it was not quite salty enough 
 (for it would never do if he didn't put in a word or 
 two), and then it is forwarded to the minister. The 
 minister, of course, now puts the whole thing into 
 shape and writes out a despatch to the Department 
 about it, and there (unless we are willing to send one 
 of our innumerable ironclads across the water) the 
 whole things ends — except on paper; for, a year or 
 two afterwards, the case comes out in print in the 
 volume of " Diplomatic Eelations," and is very edifying 
 reading. These volumes are bound up in a red cover 
 like a guide-book, — a guide to that slippery country 
 from whose bourne no straightforward answer ever 
 returns. 
 
 Now, it might be asked by the uninitiated reader 
 why, in such a case, the United States minister could 
 not write directly to the burgomaster, or whoever the 
 last man maybe? Such a thing would never do ; in 
 the first place, what would we do with all our red tape, 
 of which we have such a goodly stock on hand ? and 
 then again, how could such a mighty power as a 
 United States minister with the effulgent armor of 
 extra-territoriality blazing on his person, lower himself 
 
DIPLOMACY. 385 
 
 to take up arms against a civic official of a foreign coun- 
 try in a red vest and top boots, who would be sure to 
 be sitting in some tavern swigging bis beer and puffing 
 at his long pipe at the very moment such a missive 
 might reach him ; besides, don't you see, by this long 
 course of winding and counterwinding and going from 
 one hand to another, the complainant gets so old that 
 by the time he begins to see a faint glimmering of the 
 thing ever coming back again to his own cognizance, 
 his interest in his own cause has become quite enfee- 
 bled, and he hasn't youthful vigor left to press it any 
 further? But, best of all reasons, and the most potent 
 one of all, — suppose the whole investigation does not 
 turn out to the satisfaction of the Department, — to the 
 satisfaction of the Secretary of State, — who is to be 
 blamed for it ? 
 
 Now, in the regular course, the Secretary of State, in 
 such a case, writes an awfully polite despatch to the 
 minister; the minister can fall back on the consul- 
 general and tell him he didn't " appear to have under- 
 stood the instructions" given him ; the consul-general 
 revenges himself by hauling the consul over the coals, 
 and writes him that he hadn't been sharp, and " why 
 didn't he, etc.," and unless the consul has some little 
 clerk that he can kick, the blame settles down on the 
 consul through the inevitable laws of gravitation. 
 
 In former days, when countries were separated from 
 each other by weeks and months of staging, and when 
 sailing vessels were at the mercy of the winds and 
 waves, sometimes for a quarter of a year in getting 
 from our shores to Europe, diplomatists had something 
 to think about, and had to work their wits ; a great 
 responsibility rested on their shoulders: now, they 
 play with the telegraph and ocean cable, wiring their 
 questions to the fountain-head as to each step they 
 take. The governments jerk back their movements to 
 them through thousands of miles of air and water, — 
 and thus the little game is played. 
 
 I do not wish to imply that diplomatic representa- 
 tives in a foreign country are merely ornamental pieces 
 of furniture, nor that we could do without them. I 
 R z 33 
 
386 DIPLOMACY, 
 
 merely wish to say that the deputed power which they 
 formerly represented in their persons has lost much of 
 its siojnificance at the present day. Formerly they 
 were like a partner in the firm, having to rely on their 
 own resources — without having frequent communica- 
 tion with headquarters — for long periods ahead, whilst 
 to-day they are more like political bagmen or drum- 
 mers, who have to ask for information from their prin- 
 cipals before making or accepting each bargain. 
 
 But in every business transaction a good deal of the 
 success depends on the personal appearance, manners, 
 and attainments of the party acting. An agreeable 
 and obliging salesman in any shop will sell twice as 
 much as a mopish one will. The minister in conclud- 
 ing negotiations with a foreign country is simply car- 
 rying out the instructions of his chief, but in his per- 
 sonal accomplishments, in the matter of argumentation 
 and insinuation, much of the success of his endeavors 
 depend. By cultivating personal, friendly relations 
 with the officers of the government to which he is ac- 
 credited he gains many opportunities of informally 
 learning the views of that government and of hinting 
 at the views of his own, and by thus being on the 
 lookout he should often be in a position to prevent 
 serious conflicts from arising, which, in an official dis- 
 cussion, might be fraught with danger. 
 
 Although we are told that in all diplomatic inter- 
 course frankness alone can lead to good results, yet 
 one of the cherished tenets of all good diplomatists is 
 to avoid giving a direct answer to any question put to 
 them, but to wind it round with a web of sentences 
 and phrases which will always leave a loop-hole for 
 pushing through another construction of their mean- 
 ing. A diplomatic answer should always bear the 
 impress of the character of the showman who exhib- 
 ited the picture of the battle of Waterloo, who, when 
 the sharp boy asks him, *' Please, sir, vich is Yelling- 
 ton and vich is Bony?" replies, "JDon't be basking 
 himpertinent questions, my little man ; you pays your 
 money and you takes your choice." 
 
CIRCUS PEOPLE. 387 
 
 One afternoon a man and a woman came into the 
 office in a great state of excitement. I had heard loud 
 and angry voices of a man and a woman, and the bark- 
 ing of a dog, coming over the yard. The man, some- 
 what short in stature, but immensely muscular, with a 
 square chin and a bull-like neck like a prize-fighter, 
 started by saying that he wanted to get a separation 
 from " that woman ;" he couldn't stand living with her 
 any longer, she " beat him around so." He was bruised, 
 he said, from head to foot ; and he at once pulled up 
 his pantaloons to show me his shins, which certainly 
 did exhibit many spots and stripes of black and blue 
 and yellow, adding, " My wife did it, sir." " Yes, Mr. 
 Taborca," she quickly put in, " I did do it, but I did it 
 in self-defence; but, oh, Mr. Consul, you ought to see 
 w,y legs." Her lips were bruised and swollen, and her 
 cheek-bone looked as if it had had a recent application 
 of fist. The man was an American, a rider belonging 
 to a travelling circus which had just arrived in Munich. 
 His wife was an Englishwoman, tall and slender, with 
 large black eyes and wavy hair. She would hear of 
 nothing short of a divorce ; how could she get it? 
 
 The chief cause of complaint seemed to be that the 
 man was not only very strong in his muscles, but also 
 very strong in his attentions to another woman in the 
 circus, whom he had to ride with, lift up on his shoulder, 
 and generally sling about by a belt around her waist 
 while he stood with each foot on the boarded backs of 
 a span of horses like a galloping Colossus of Ehodes. 
 "Well," he said, in extenuation, "but that belongs to 
 my business." The recital on the part of the wife of 
 Mr. Taborca's other carryings on with the lady, which 
 were not strictly professional, was a little too prolixly 
 spicy to be put down here. This public divulging of 
 Mr. Taborca's shortcomings did not have a soothing 
 effect on him. He retorted manfully. One word led 
 to another. Recriminations and counter-recrimina- 
 tions were wildly flung backward and forward, and it 
 was evident they were nearly prepared to give an 
 acrobatical display of the way they settled their little 
 quarrels in the very consulate. 
 
388 CIRCUS PEOPLE. 
 
 I advised them to go away and try to get along 
 better with each other, or to come again when they 
 were both cooler. They carried their battle across the 
 yard with them, and into the street, on reaching which, 
 however, they took the opposite pavements to pursue 
 their way circuswards, while the little dog, with strict 
 impartiality, trotted along in the middle of the road 
 between them. 
 
 The next day they came back again with the little 
 dog, and with the old complaint. I gave them the 
 address of a lawyer, who drew up an agreement of 
 separation for them, which they afterwards signed at 
 the consulate. For the consideration of the monthly 
 payment of two hundred and fifty francs to Mrs. 
 Taborca she w^as to let her husband alone, and to do 
 as he pleased, and he also gave her the same liberty; 
 and they left, mutually satisfied with the arrangement. 
 This time they walked side by side circuswards, and 
 the little dog waddled close behind them, pleasantly 
 dodging alternately around the ankles of the one and 
 the ankles of the other. On visiting the circus some 
 evenings afterwards, when Mr. Taborca came into the 
 ring he honored me and my family with a fixed stare 
 every time he flew around, and especially when his 
 horse stopped to blow and for Mr. Taborca to pant. I 
 believe it was a stare of relief 
 
 His wife was not a rider; she only took part in the 
 ballets and in the pantomimes. When the circus left, 
 she remained behind in Munich. She did fancy needle- 
 work for the stores, and was skilful in embroidery in 
 gold and silver. Some months afterwards she became 
 very ill, and it was necessary for her to undergo a 
 complicated and dangerous operation, which kept her 
 in a very critical state for a long time. Her landlady 
 came to the consulate and begged me to go to her, for 
 she supposed her to be dying. My wife and I visited 
 her, and took some trifles for her comfort with us. 
 The crisis being at length over, she began to recover. 
 Of course the money her husband sent her was not 
 enough to pay for the doctors and nurses and drugs 
 which she required ; he had been somewhat remiss too, 
 
CIRCUS PEOPLE. 389 
 
 and had not sent her the full sum stipulated upon. 
 The woman's lawyer wrote to the husband several 
 times, and rather urgently, I suppose. At last Mr. 
 Taborca wrote to me what I thought was a pretty 
 sensible letter, and one which showed him to be not 
 such a bad sort of a man. 
 
 He said it was not necessary for him to be reminded 
 of the terms of his contract with his wife. " I know 
 them, and act up to them as far as lays in my power; cir- 
 cumstances alter cases, and circumstances have greatly 
 
 altered mine. I sent on the and remittances, 
 
 and have had no reply to say whether they were re- 
 ceived or not. I know my wife is ill, and has been for 
 a long time, unfortunately for me. Now, if I was to be 
 taken ill or met with an accident (which is very fre- 
 quent in my profession), my pay would be stopped and 
 I would have no money for myself, let alone for my 
 wife, for I have no capital nor income, only what I 
 work for, and at present not much. I send as much as 
 I can afford. 1 know my duty ; in fact, I have sent more 
 than I could afford, for I have got into debt here in con- 
 sequence While I am in work and in health, I 
 
 send what I really can afford, and will always do so: 
 if I am sick or out of a situation she can expect noth- 
 ing (take nothing from nothing and nothing remains), 
 so there is no use plying me with letters; leave me 
 alone and I will do all in my power as becomes my 
 duty and a gentleman to do the right thing. Why she 
 should undergo an operation so expensive, with three 
 surgeons, when there are hospitals so much cheaper, 
 I am at a loss to understand. If I had to undergo an 
 operation or meet with an accident, I should be com- 
 pelled to go to an hospital, because I could not afford 
 
 private attendance She depends on me, and I 
 
 depend on health and circumstances (wo are all the 
 children of circumstances and must submit to them). 
 .... I could enumerate to you many things in my be- 
 half, but it would be trespassing too much on your 
 valuable time; suffice it to say, I will do all in justice 
 and duty that lays in my power. Eespectfully yours.** 
 
 38* 
 
390 CIRCUS PEOPLE. 
 
 There is scarcely a circus in Europe that has not 
 some Americans in the company, and in travelling 
 around they often have to do with the consul. Some- 
 times they have lost their passports, sometimes they 
 come to sign a contract with their employers, or to get 
 a release, sometimes they have differences with their 
 employers and seek the consul in the hope of getting 
 redress at his hands. 
 
 The business manager of one of our great American 
 travelling circuses and shows came to Munich to make 
 arrangements for exhibiting there. But he could not 
 get the desired permission to perform. He came to 
 the consulate in his distress. The police department 
 made no objections, the city authorities made no objec- 
 tions, — it was only the Royal Director of the Eoyal 
 Opera that was opposed to him. All proposed public 
 exhibitions and entertainments, musical, dramatic, or 
 spectacular, must first receive the approval and consent 
 of this personage. The manager of the circus in ques- 
 tion did not know what to do ; they had made all their 
 arrangements to come to Munich, and if they were not 
 able to perform it would be an immense pecuniary loss 
 to them. He urged me to use my influence with the 
 Director of the Royal Opera; he assured me that he 
 had had similar difficulties in Vienna, and that there 
 the American minister had gone to headquarters and 
 personally arranged the matter for them. Such a pre- 
 cedent was enough to convince me that there could be 
 no harm in a consul following it. The manager was 
 kind enough to promise me that if they came to Mu- 
 nich I might have one of their best horses to ride 
 every day they remained, either in the ring or on the 
 street, as I preferred. I am not a riding man any more, 
 but the offer was tempting. I wrote a letter in his 
 behalf to the Roj^al Director of the Royal Opera, ask- 
 ing permission onlj^ for a three days' performance, and 
 received a very polite answer; he regretted very much, 
 etc., that he was unable to give the desired permis- 
 sion, but the ground on which he based his refusal was, 
 I thought, quite unique. He said that besides the Royal 
 Opera there was another theatre open, and all kinds 
 
CIRCUS PEOPLE. 391 
 
 of concerts and other entertainments going on, and that 
 those were enough for the people, and besides, the com- 
 petition of the great American circus might be inju- 
 rious to the receipts at the Eoyal Opera. I think his 
 fears unconsciously gave some dignity and applicability 
 to the expression ^' horse opera" with which we are 
 sportively in the habit of alluding to the circus. 
 
 On another occasion the proprietor of a band of 
 Japanese acrobats wanted the use of the royal music 
 hall, the ^^ Odeon," for exhibiting in. As he alone 
 could not make any headway in gettting the permission 
 of the Eoyal Director, he too came to the consulate. 
 I had to write again, and got another polite answer, 
 but this time the refusal was based upon the assertion 
 that it would be a desecration of the building, which 
 was only intended for musical purposes, to allow its use 
 for such performances. 
 
 It was only a short time after this refusal that the 
 annual chicken show was held within the sacred walls 
 of that devoted fane. Perhaps the cackling of the 
 hens and the crowing of the roosters was considered 
 musical. There could be no question as to the scent 
 they distributed through the hall. Subsequently the 
 ^Hwo headed Nightingale," the twin negro sisters 
 grown together, held its or their receptions there, to 
 say nothing of the performances of a Semitic presti- 
 digitateur and tiresome magic-lantern shows which 
 followed. Public balls were also held in the same 
 building during the Carnival, where a good deal of 
 perspiring was going on. So that, after all, it was 
 rough on the Japs. 
 
 I must add, however, that since the last five or six 
 years the royal Odeon has been swept clean of all 
 such profane usages, and is now strictly devoted to its 
 original purpose. Classical concerts only are held in 
 it now. 
 
 The spirit of independence which is impregnated in 
 the very being of young America, even to its humblest 
 representatives, is something wonderful to contemplate. 
 Bold, fearless, and self-possessed, young America, whor- 
 
392 YANKEE GIRL AND RICHARD WAGNER. 
 
 ever he goes, feels himself the equal of all the world, — 
 the equal in station, importance, attainments, — the 
 equal in everything. His veneration for age and for ex- 
 perience in others is exemplified in the condescension 
 with which he will impart his own views and convic- 
 tions for the benefit of those who have laboriously^ 
 worked their way up to the top of their profession. 
 No subject comes amiss to him, and he expects his 
 elders to give him full sway to enlighten and advise 
 them. 
 
 A young girl whose lovely seventeen summers had 
 just floated her out of the confines of boarding-school 
 and launched her, with her fresh stores of erudition 
 still clinging to her, into the old world, told me that 
 she had just been on a visit to Eichard Wagner at 
 Bayreuth. She had been at his house, and had there 
 engaged him in a learned disquisition on music, reach- 
 ing from the very borders of prehistoric time to the 
 veiled mysteries of the music of the future. She had 
 given him the sense of her people on the momentous 
 musical questions of the day ; she had comforted him 
 with the declaration that her countrymen were begin- 
 ning to appreciate the colossal genius of Euterpe's 
 apostle, whose bombardonic notes had produced a new 
 revelation of the deep poetry and holy rhj^thra of 
 sound, and she conjured him not to deviate from the 
 j)ath he had struck out, for she could assure him that 
 he would be ultimately sustained by the acclamations 
 of coming generations of the new and the old world. 
 
 She said Wagner listened to her in rapt astonish- 
 ment. No doubt he did. I can fancy the old master, 
 who has broken the heads of so many musicians and 
 split the voices of so many expensive tenors, thus 
 cornered by a Yankee girl in her teens talking music 
 at him with the glibness of a rampant barrel-organ and 
 illustrating her remarks with citations from her own 
 . experience, as if she had been a musical critic since the 
 daj's of Pan. The old man was disarmed ; he hadn't 
 his baton with him, and so she had him at a disad- 
 vantage, but I feel certain that when he got his armor 
 on again, if he were called upon to write a part for that 
 
STRETCHING CONSCIENCE. 393 
 
 young lady's performance, it would be about ten thou- 
 sand bars — facet. 
 
 In the coffee-houses the waiter-girls come up to you 
 flourishing two britannia pots, one in either hand, con- 
 taining coffee and milk respectively, and put the curt 
 question, "Hell oder dunkel ?" (Light or dark?) They 
 then pour into the cup first the coffee and then the 
 milk, and generally hit the exact shade of the mixture 
 to suit each customer's taste with wonderful accuracy. 
 
 A young man who had been very strictly brought up 
 at home, whose conversation was yea, yea, nay, nay, 
 and who had been taught to shun the appearance of 
 evil, was once attacked by this question. In his inno- 
 cence he aired his Grerman,and drawled out, " Oh, hell.'^ 
 A sly look from one of his friends as he uttered these 
 unexpected words quite upset him; he became dread- 
 fully embarrassed, and inwardly thought Germany was 
 a very wicked place. 
 
 It's good there is such a thing as india-rubber. It 
 shows us how elastic some things can be. We couldn't 
 form any correct idea of the elasticity of some con- 
 sciences if we hadn't this ocular demonstration in the 
 case of india-rubber. 
 
 A gentleman, w^ho, like the one just alluded to, was 
 very orthodox in his views, determined, during his 
 European travels, to keep up his Puritan observances 
 of the Sabbath even on the continent, where Sunday, 
 all over, is the liveliest day of the whole week. He 
 went to church wherever there was an English service. 
 But in going to or returning from church he had to 
 walk the streets. The shops were all open and his 
 eyes were too, so of course ho could not help seeing 
 what was displayed in their windows. 
 
 We came to a jeweller's shop, and there he saw an 
 enticing pair of sleevc-buttous. We stopped to look at 
 them more closely. 
 
 "I wonder what they cost?'' said he. 
 
 " Go in and price them," said I. 
 
 "Oh, no," ho replied, " to-day's Sunday,—! couldn't 
 
394 A TALENTED BOY. 
 
 do such a thing. Please, you go in and price them fuv 
 me." 
 
 *' Come, now," I said, "that's rather strong. But I 
 tell you what, — if they do not cost more than ten gul- 
 dens, shall I buy them for you ?" 
 
 He looked perplexed, but soon answered, " Oh, no, 
 no, I couldn't take them if they were bought on a 
 Sunday." 
 
 We stood for a long time at that window, he looking 
 at the buttons longingly, — I might say covetously, — he 
 would have liked so much to have had them at once. 
 At last, on our turning away, he broke out with, " Oh, 
 my, — how I wish to-day wasn't Sunday!" 
 
 As to going to an opera on a Sunday, he regarded 
 that as the abomination of abominations. 
 
 We approached the " Hall of the Marshal," where 
 the military band was playing a sprightly waltz. 
 Crowds of people as .usual, in their holiday attire, were 
 standing and promenading in front of it. We stopped 
 too. I noticed that my friend listened eagerly. I 
 even caught him tapping time with his foot. I couldn't 
 help saying to him, '' Now look here, isn't this just as 
 big a sin, your standing here listening to the music, as 
 it would be in your going to the theatre ?" 
 
 I did not upset him, as I had expected to. He began 
 to explain. He said, as a free-born American he had 
 a right to go where he pleased, and the streets were 
 all open to him ; if the soldiers chose to pla}^ there, of 
 course he couldn't stop them, and he, being there, could 
 not help hearing them, — " and besides, you see, this 
 makes the great difference, — I don't have to pay any- 
 thing." 
 
 A fond mother brought her son, a lad of about six- 
 teen, to the consulate, telling me they had just arrived 
 and were going to stay some time, — '' Yery much de- 
 lighted, I'm sure." The lady said she had selected 
 Munich because she had heard that there was an art 
 academy and also a conservatory of music there. I 
 soon found out that the son was a prodigy, — the mother 
 said so, and their friends in America said so. 
 
AN OBLIGING FRIEND. 395 
 
 But the boy was too much of a prodigy : his talents 
 were embarrassing. It appeared that he was a musical 
 genius and an artistic genius at the same time. He 
 was equally good at drawing with the pencil and draw- 
 ing the bow, and a practical trial was to decide whether 
 he should become a modern Titian or a second Pa- 
 ganini. The lady thought she had hit upon a good 
 plan : she was going to send her son for six months to 
 the Academy and then for six months to the Conserv- 
 atory, and then she would leave it to the professors 
 themselves to determine (unless they all persisted in 
 claiming him for their own) what path of art her son 
 should henceforth devote his life to. I told her I 
 thought the plan was a first-rate one. I believe I 
 would have told her almost anything (after her having 
 been sitting in my office for three-quarters of an hour) 
 to induce her to take her departure, for she threatened 
 to bring several portfolios of her son's drawings for 
 me to look at. If I had been weak at that point, I 
 know she would have come the third time with the 
 fiddle. 
 
 A young American, who had left his home in a very 
 poor state of health, broke down at last under a dis- 
 ease from which he had long been suffering. By his 
 retired and somewhat peculiar manners, induced, no 
 doubt, by his ailments, he had estranged himself from 
 nearly all his fellow-countrymen. I had never been 
 on very intimate terms with him ; but when he had 
 taken to his bed I visited him, at his dull room, 
 which was made still duller by being partially dark- 
 ened, and by his having a large, dingy screen placed 
 at the foot of his bed. The doctor had ordered ice 
 to be applied to his head, and had also told him to 
 suck small pieces of ice. It appeared his landlad}'' 
 had a bungling way of chopping the ice for him 
 which did not satisfy him, and one day ho murmured, 
 " Oh, if I only had an American ice-pick. Don't they 
 have such a thing in this country?" I hunted around 
 the shops for such an instrument, but could not get the 
 exact thing; but I got the next best thing to it, in the 
 
396 AN OBLIGING FRIEND. 
 
 shape of a cobbler's awl with a flattened handle, which 
 pleased him mightily when I brought it to him. 
 
 He kept on getting worse, and at last it was neces- 
 sary to remove him to the hospital, where a private 
 room was procured for him. There was another young 
 American at that time in Munich (as good-hearted a 
 fellow as I ever met with, but a little eccentric in his 
 manners) who nursed him devotedly. He cheered the 
 dreary hours of the sick man with his company. 
 
 Mr. A , who felt himself in a critical position, 
 
 growing gradually worse, and lying in a hospital in a 
 strange land, the language of which he had never been 
 able to master, and attended to by persons to whom he 
 could not express himself fluently, derived great com- 
 fort from the companionship of his friend B , who 
 
 did all in his power to console him in his affliction. I 
 visited the patient a couple of times; but seeing that 
 
 Mr. B was almost constantly with him, and that 
 
 he had every attention it was possible to provide, I 
 did not go there frequently. ^ 
 
 The following conversation that took place between 
 the sick man and his friend B I learned later. 
 
 One day when the poor sufferer evidently felt that 
 his end was drawing near, he faintly said to his friend, — 
 
 " B , it is a hard thing to have to die in a foreign 
 
 land, so far away from home, so far away from one's 
 family." 
 
 " Yes," returned B , weeping, " it is indeed hard ; 
 
 but come, you musn't think of dying, my dear fellow, 
 you'll get better, soon." 
 
 " Oh, no," said A , faintly ; " I feel it rapidly com- 
 ing on." 
 
 The two friends mingled their tears; it was a sad, 
 sad moment. After a pause, the dying man said, " It's 
 not so much the thought of dying abroad that worries 
 me as the thought of being buried in a foreign coun- 
 try ; that one's body should not have its last resting- 
 place in one's native soil ; to think that no loved ones 
 will ever visit my grave." 
 
 Another long pause. Poor B was quite over- 
 come by the sadness of the situation ; in the goodness 
 
AN OBLIGING FRIEND. 397 
 
 of his heart he would have done anything to bring a 
 spark of comfort to his friend ; but, glancing at the 
 hollow cheeks and sunken eyes, he felt instinctively 
 that all would soon be over with him. He knew from 
 what the doctors had told him that there was no hope 
 of recovery. He sat at the side of the bed, his head 
 bowed down, his eyes glistening with tears. He was 
 pondering over what his friend had just said. The 
 horror of having one's body buried so far away from 
 home came up forcibly to his imagination. At last a 
 bright thought struck him; he roused himself sud- 
 denly and said, " I'll tell you what, A , even if you 
 
 should die here, I can have your body embalmed and 
 sent over to America, you know." 
 
 "Oh, would you!" plaintively said the sufferer ; "I 
 think I could die easier then. Thank you, my friend." 
 
 That afternoon I happened to meet B , who was 
 
 walking in great haste. He stopped on seeing me and 
 eaid, abruptly, " Have you any idea how much it costs 
 to embalm a body and have it sent to the States ?" 
 
 " Good heavens !" I exclaimed, " is A dead ?'* 
 
 "No," he replied, "but he can't last many days 
 longer, and I want to find out beforehand how much it 
 
 costs. I am going to Professor and to Professor 
 
 to inquire about it; it will be such a comfort to 
 
 poor A — — to know that I have attended to it.'* 
 
 It at first appeared such a shocking thing to me, 
 such a feelingless act for a man to be running around 
 to dispose of his friend's remains before he was even 
 dead ; but looking up into the earnest, honest face of 
 
 B , I was convinced that he was acting from the 
 
 most humane motives. He thought ho was really 
 easing the mind of his friend by showing the interest 
 ho took in carrying out his last desire. 
 
 But after he had left me, sad as the situation was, I 
 could not help thinking how ludicrous it was too. 
 Here was a young man starting up from the sick-bed 
 of his friend and rushing about with the greatest alac- 
 rity to make arrangements with some medical man 
 (perhaps bargaining with him in regard to the price) 
 for scientifically preserving his friend, when there was 
 
 84 
 
398 OUR CONSULAR SYSTEM, 
 
 a chance of his still lingering on for many days yet, 
 and then going and telling him all about it in the hope 
 of raising his spirits. 
 
 It was not long before the bitter hour came : he 
 died peacefully. His body was not sent to America: 
 it was buried at the Munich cemetery in the presence 
 of most of the American gentlemen then in the city, 
 and sincere indeed in his mourning for his lost friend 
 was kind, devoted, simple-hearted B . 
 
 CHAPTER XXY. 
 
 Our consular system — Voting for Sheneral Shackson — To the victor be- 
 long the spoils — Foreign opinion of our system — The office must be 
 a necessity — Appointing applicants — Rush of office-seekers — Anec- 
 dote of Hendricks — Public business suffers through consular changes — 
 Changes abroad still more inconvenient — Reform not to go to the 
 other extreme — Foreign bureaucracy — Public servants to be con- 
 trolled — Becoming disamericanized — Supervising officers for consul- 
 ates — Complaints against consuls — Investigating consulates — Exam- 
 inations — Young men specially trained — Consuls must speak language 
 of the country — Commercial men to be appointed — Ideas of what a 
 consul has to do — The consular corps — Salaries — Payment not justly 
 distributed — Furniture, cleaning, lighting, and heating — Pay to vice- 
 consuls — Gentleman not satisfied with servant — Lady not satisfied 
 with servant — Clerks — Consul should not be allowed to transact busi- 
 ness — Is the consul satisfied with the Department ? — More intimate 
 connection between the consul and the Department — Consular re- 
 ports — Delegation of tailors — Fireproof material — Uncertainty of 
 tenure of office — Consul often a figure-head — Finding nothing but 
 vice-consuls — Sword of Damocles — Conclusion. 
 
 EvERrTHiNQ must come to an end. Glancing up at 
 the number of the page, I am warned that if I wish to 
 retain any portion of the good-will of my readers I 
 must draw to a close. 
 
 The welcome finis is soon in view. 
 
 There is only one stage more of our road, and that 
 shall be given to a few general words in regard to 
 
 OUE CONSULAE SYSTEM. 
 
 It is a current joke, fanned into fresh circulation 
 every four years, that in Pennsylvania, my own native 
 
ROTATION IN OFFICE. 399 
 
 State, there are farmers known as the Pennsylvania 
 Dutchmen who still vote for Sheneral Shackson. Why 
 " Old Hickory" should retain such a hold on their 
 affections I do not know. The man who in all mat- 
 ters took the responsibility on himself also promul- 
 gated the doctrine that to the victor belong the spoils. 
 This doctrine has proved such a convenient one for 
 those who make the victor (for they know that the 
 victor, out of common gratitude, must pay handsomely 
 those who elected him) that it has ever since been 
 retained. 
 
 In foreign countries, where every fat nest is feath- 
 ered for life, and where every rickety, ink-bespattered 
 desk of the lowest scribe holds the same snuffy occu- 
 pant as long as he is willing to jog along the beaten 
 track of jaded subordination, there is no one of our in- 
 stitutions that is more frequently criticised than that 
 of the everlasting routine of office, the injustice done 
 to the office-holders, and the drawbacks to the proper 
 discharge of the public business which must ensue 
 thereby. Foreigners cannot understand how a man 
 not properly schooled for the office can perform its du- 
 ties, and this leads them to form but a wqvj poor esti- 
 mate of the capabilities of our civil officers. In the 
 old country every career is so measured and marked 
 out, step by step, that it is considered indispensable for 
 every one to have absolved the next preceding class 
 before he is ripe to enter the next higher one. A man 
 must be apprentice and journeyman before he can ex- 
 pect to be a master. They think that every person 
 with us who is jnmped into a public office must neces- 
 sarily be an ignoramus in that branch. They do not 
 make any allowance, for they do not comprehend the 
 elasticity of the American character. They do not 
 understand the quickness of grasp of the American 
 mind ; they do not appreciate our versatility. 
 
 But although I believe that no other nation would 
 do as well as we under our present haphazard system, 
 I do not wish to defend that system. I believe it is 
 wrong in several points. There is no reason why wo 
 should take the favorite view of the matter that public 
 
400 RUSH OF OFFICE-SEEKERS. 
 
 offices exist merely for giving employment to our 
 people. The office itself must be a necessity in the 
 first place. Then we should strive to get the most 
 honest, the most capable, the most energetic man to 
 fill that office. If he fills it to the satisfaction of the 
 government and the public it should matter little to 
 any one what that man's politics may be, and we must 
 assume that the longer that man remains in that office 
 the better he will be qualified to perform its duties. 
 A merchant does not car^y on business merely for the 
 sake of giving employment to others, but when he 
 wants help he tries to engage the best he can get for 
 the salary he is willing to pay, and he retains that 
 person as long as he can make use of his services. 
 Why should our government take a different view of 
 the matter? Again, when the President has the giving 
 of over a hundred thousand offices, is it possible that 
 he can have any personal knowledge of the character 
 or capability of the one-thousandth part of the appli- 
 cants ? He must take that at second or third or fourth 
 hand. He must take the responsibility of the appoint- 
 ment, and yet he has no knowledge of the antecedents 
 of the applicant except what is told him by the politi- 
 cian who recommends the applicant, and who does that 
 as a favor to the latter because the latter has done a 
 favor for him. The very word applicant has something 
 unpleasantly suggestive about it. Why should there 
 be such a clamoring howl for office every time a new 
 administration comes in? Any one who has been in 
 Washington during the first few months of a new 
 President's incumbency knows the surging, greedy, 
 inconsiderate multitude, the undisciplined army that 
 beleaguer the quarters of the head of the nation, and 
 steal away every hour of his time, as if he were there 
 for no other purpose than for them to plunder. One 
 might really suppose that the most important business 
 of the Executive, and the only duty he had to perform, 
 was that of weighing out offices to suit the deserts of 
 each applicant. One might imagine the safety of the 
 nation depended on the quickness of his selections. It 
 is not only after the inauguration of the President that 
 
ANECDOTE OF HENDRICKS 401 
 
 his trouble begins : he is beset by hordes of office- 
 seekers from the moment he is elected, for every one 
 wants to be j^r^^ with him. His private house, and his 
 grounds, if he have any, are invaded by these ruthless 
 cormorants. Each one is sustained by the hope that 
 he may possibly get something. He knows that so 
 and so many thousand offices are to be given away, 
 and he takes his chance in the raffle, and he is ready 
 to waste his time from week to week hanging around, 
 and doing no good to himself or his family, or to any 
 of his fellow- men, except to the bar-keepers of the capi- 
 tal. But it is not only their own time that they waste, 
 — which is not of so much importance, — but the time 
 of thousands of others, — congressmen, senators, cabi- 
 net ministers, and other officers, whom they importune 
 with demands for the use of their influence. If the 
 time thus frittered away at the capital for the first 
 quarter of a year after the inauguration were given to 
 useful labor, it would represent millions and millions 
 of dollars. 
 
 But what is the cause of this great army of scram- 
 blers bearing down upon Washington every four years ? 
 It is because it is well known throughout the broad 
 expanse of our country that a thorough change is to 
 be made in all the civil offices, — that men are to be 
 turned out and fresh ones put in their places. It is a 
 thing that is quite well understood by all parties. 
 
 After the defeat of Mr. Tilden and Governor Hen- 
 dricks, the latter made a trip to Europe. He was a very 
 genial gentleman, and I spent some pleasant hours 
 with him at Munich. Ho had some friends with him. 
 When the conversation happened to turn on the elec- 
 tion he jokingly said, '' Oh, well, the thing's over now ; 
 at any rate, if I had been elected, you see, I wouldn't 
 have the pleasure of being in Munich now and going 
 around with you." *' No," I said, "and if you hud 
 been elected I suppose I would not bo hero to bo show- 
 ing you around." 
 
 He gave vent to a political smile. 
 
 Notwithstanding the natural gift Americans have of 
 quickly adapting themselves to any situation, it cau- 
 
402 CONSULAR CHANGES. 
 
 not be doubted that the public business suffers seriously 
 from these continual displacements of the public offi- 
 cers. The very smartest man has always something 
 to learn in every new position, and although he may 
 acquire a knowledge of his business rapidly, it is not 
 acquired at once, and therefore there is a certain inter- 
 ruption in the working of the office with the appear- 
 ance of each fresh incumbent. Besides, the man hold- 
 ing office, knowing he only has it for a few years, is not 
 likely to take a very deep interest in it, except as to its 
 receipts, and when the time approaches for his leaving 
 it, he is already looking around for something to do 
 next, and that takes up his attention principally. It 
 is no wonder that his legacy to his successor is mostly 
 a mass of unfinished business, and he turns over his 
 office in a mess because he found it all in a mess when 
 he took charge of it. 
 
 But if these constant changes of office at home are 
 attended with serious inconveniences, how much 
 greater must they be abroad, where a man is suddenly 
 surrounded by everything that is new to him. He 
 goes to a country of w^hose history he knows scarcely 
 anything, w^hose language he probably does not under- 
 stand. Its manners and customs are strange to him ; 
 the people are different to those with whom he has 
 been brought into contact at home; the ways of doing 
 business are different; the common observances of life 
 are different. It takes him some time to get accus- 
 tomed to his surroundings. It takes him some time to 
 get settled. I have already tried to show how multi- 
 farious the duties of a consul are. Mr. Frelinghuysen, 
 in a report to the President, dated March 20, 1884, on 
 the subject of the consular service, admits that " the 
 duties of a consul are varied, and often very compli- 
 cated and delicate, and nothing save long experience 
 and careful study will enable the officer to properly 
 and successfully discharge the important trusts com- 
 mitted to his care." The man who takes a public 
 office at home, even if he be not in the beginning posted 
 as to its duties, is surrounded by friends and advisers, 
 — many who have been in similar offices before, — with 
 
FOREIGN BUREAUCRACY, 403 
 
 whom he can consult on any point which is not per- 
 fectly clear to him. The consul is alone, separated 
 from all his friends, and has to rely on himself in every 
 step he takes. He has had some coaching, it is true, 
 during the month he is supposed to be receiving in- 
 structions, and the Consular Eegulations are put into 
 his hand for his guidance, but when he arrives at his 
 post he finds there are hundreds of subjects turning up 
 that have not yet been expounded to him, and hun- 
 dreds of questions arise which he looks for in vain to 
 be answered in the neat, red-covered little book issued 
 by the Department of State. There is much to learn 
 before he can flatter himself with the thought that he 
 is able to do everything as it ought to be done. It 
 certainly takes him longer to work his way into a 
 clear insight of the business than it would in any 
 office at home. 
 
 In making a reform in the tenure of office in our civil 
 service, we would be going just as far wrong in the 
 opposite direction in carrying it to the other extreme 
 by creating a bureaucracy similar to that with which 
 most old countries are cursed. Those men who consider 
 themselves practically irremovable, soon degenerate into 
 a race of unbearable snobs and petty tyrants. They 
 have long ago forgotten that they are the servants of 
 the people, and they treat the public with exasperating 
 indifference. Their services are rendered (in such good 
 time as they seem proper to do so) as if it were a favor 
 they were conferring which must be humbly begged 
 for. They are punctual in their routine work, but 
 their routine work is very slow work, and is ordered 
 by them with a view to their own convenience. Their 
 motto is, — never to be in a hurry, and to let the public 
 wait, wait, wait. The smallest government officer de- 
 mands a show of deference to his station on the part of 
 the supplicant for his services that would simply be 
 laughable, if it were not that the failure to show the 
 proper respect for him puts the power into his hands 
 to revenge himself by thrusting all sorts of impedi- 
 ments and petty annoyances in the way of those who 
 show remissness on this point, lie can afford to bo 
 
404 PUBLIC SERVANTS. 
 
 quite brutal towards the long-suffering public, for he 
 knows that even if any one hardier than the rest 
 should dare to make a complaint against him he would 
 be sustained by his superiors, who themselves are 
 hankering after a due display of respect to their dignity. 
 If the matter were pressed, it would be explained to the 
 unlucky informer that the reverence he is expected to 
 show towards a public officer is not to the individual him- 
 self, but to the symbol of the crown upon his cap or his 
 buttons ; he is a man appointed by the government, and 
 the government knows what it is about, and the gov- 
 ernment's selection of its officers is not to be questioned 
 by any person. Unless such an officer actually does 
 something dishonest (by which the government suffers) 
 he knows that he is safe, no matter how the public 
 may grumble about his want of manners. The very 
 discipline that debars each officer in succession from re- 
 torting to any reproof he gets from the one next above 
 him in station, leads him to vent his irritation on the 
 public instead. When the infirmities of age come 
 creeping on him, he still hobbles about his office as long 
 as his shrunken shanks will carry him (and his trem- 
 bling hands and his failing sight and his failing memory 
 make things go still slower), and when he at last be- 
 comes so decrepit that it is impossible for him to get to 
 his bureau any more, he still receives a pension from 
 the government for the rest of his days. 
 
 We do not want such servants. What we want is 
 that men should know that when they get appointed 
 to a public office they can hold that office as long as 
 they behave themselves properly, and as long as they 
 are able to discharge its duties efficiently, but no longer. 
 The government is spending the people's money, and 
 the people have a right to demand that that money be 
 applied to the best advantage. The government must 
 have good work done for it, and for good work we 
 must pay good wages. But there must be somebody 
 to see that the work is done. Let all the public ser- 
 vants be closely controlled, and if it be found that any 
 one is remiss in any way, let him be removed and a 
 better man put in his place. If a private person have 
 
BECOMING DISAMERICANIZED, 405 
 
 an old and faithful servant, and rewards him when he is 
 infirm and not able to do his work any more by still 
 continuing his wages to him, such an act is very com- 
 mendatory (he is doing with his own what he pleases), 
 but the government, spending the people's money, has 
 no right to pay that money without receiving an equiv- 
 alent for it, and it is therefore proper not to pay pen- 
 sions to retired officers ; these men have simply been 
 doing their duty, and they should receive pay only 
 Avhile they are doing it. The introduction of the pen- 
 sion system would lead to great abuses in our country. 
 If a man serves his country in an extraordinary way, 
 let him be rewarded in an extraordinary way. The 
 reward all civil officers would be satisfied with would 
 be the prospect of promotion, and that would spur 
 them on to do their utmost for the public good. 
 
 With regard to consular officers, there is a deep- 
 seated prejudice entertained by some of our best states- 
 men and patriots against an American remaining too 
 long away from his native countr3^ They contend 
 that an American living for many years in a foreign 
 country gradually gets tinged with the political and 
 social peculiarities of that country ; that he loses 
 somewhat in his republican views and affinities ; that 
 he loses in a manner his adherence to the worship of 
 American institutions ; that the ties which should 
 always bind him to his native country become weak- 
 ened ; in short, that he becomes disamericanized. 
 There is some ground for holding such opinions, but 
 the results presupposed are the exceptions and not the 
 rule. 
 
 It would be very easy for our government to have 
 a permanent officer appointed for each great division 
 of the earth, — a competent, experienced, and trust- 
 worthy man, to visit the consulates to see that the 
 business is properly conducted, and to return from 
 time to time to the United States to have personal 
 conference with the Sccretar}^ of State (and that would 
 prevent him from becoming disamericanized). Such 
 a person, in looking after the technicalities of the office, 
 would have no difficulty in his intercourse with its oo- 
 
406 COMPLAINTS AGAINST CONSULS. 
 
 ciipant in soon finding out the man "with soul so 
 dead," and his instructions from headquarters might 
 include the line, " If such there be, go mark him well.'* 
 It might be urged that such a system would be a sort 
 of espionage, distasteful to the American character, but 
 it is not necessary that such a control should be any- 
 thing more than w^hat every right-minded officer would 
 be willing to submit to. On the contrary, it would often 
 be a welcome occasion for the consul to explain certain 
 matters in his own defence where unwarranted attacks 
 are made against him. There is no officer that is so 
 open to all kinds of mischievous charges being made 
 against him as a consul. He has dealings with persons 
 from every section of his own country, besides those 
 with the foreign public and the foreign officers of the 
 country he is in. He is expected to make everything 
 right for all. The travelling American who comes to 
 the office, and who perhaps spends only a few hours in 
 the city he is in, and because he is in a hurry to get 
 away, thinks the consul must, upon his appearance, lay 
 aside every business he has in hand and attend to him 
 at once. I have tried to give, already, an idea of the 
 various demands made by all classes of people, both 
 public and private, on the consul. If he had half a 
 dozen pair of hands instead of one, he would, perhaps, 
 be able to do better, and, as it is, woe betide him if he 
 puts any of his clients to inconvenience. The arms are 
 at hand : that person writes to the Department of State 
 about the consul's want of consideration towards his 
 fellow-countrymen. I was told by an officer in the 
 consular bureau at Washington that the pigeon-holes 
 in the State Department were bulging out with such 
 complaints. As a general thing they are too trivial in 
 character for the Department to take notice of; or, in 
 the worst case, it writes to the consul in a mild way 
 not "to do so again." But there are some cases 
 in which a consul's character is attacked when he 
 thinks the Department, without receiving any coun- 
 ter-statement from himself, might be inclined to con- 
 sider him in the wrong, but not having the opportu- 
 nity nor the desire to trouble the Department with 
 
INVESTIGATING CONSULATES. 407 
 
 the matter, he would be glad to have an intermediate 
 officer who could form an impartial judgment of the 
 case on the spot. Although the Department cannot 
 investigate every charge made against a consul, yet in 
 the aggregate, if a great number of them come to 
 its notice, it naturally works to the prejudice of the 
 latter. 
 
 Our government has on several occasions sent out 
 men to look after the consulates. Two or three of 
 them visited my office. They were not very strict. 
 One of them was a cheery little gentleman. I have 
 an idea he was enjoying a summer's recreation abroad. 
 He showed me his letters of introduction and his au- 
 thority for his mission. He pulled out a copy of the 
 ^' Consular Eegulations." " Look here," he said, " have 
 
 you made the alteration in paragraph on page , 
 
 in regard to debenture certificates according to the cir- 
 cular sent last month ?" I opened my copy of the 
 "Consular Eegulations" to show him that I had done 
 so. " Oh, well, then you're all right, I guess," and he 
 then asked me what there was to see in the city. I 
 offered to show him my books or anything else, but he 
 said he didn't want to see them^ it wasn't necessary, 
 — he wanted to see something of the town ; so after 
 office hours he called for me again, and we went out 
 walking together. 
 
 In the report of Mr. Frelinghuysen, already alluded 
 to, the permanency of a tenure of office in the consular 
 service is s'trongly advocated. Those who take an in- 
 terest in the subject will find in that paper many 
 pertinent remarks and good suggestions, and also the 
 Secretary's opinion of the personnel of the present 
 consular corps. 
 
 The proposition which has been made of late, that 
 every applicant for a public office should bo made to 
 pass an examination before a board created for that 
 purpose before he can be accepted, is not, I think, a 
 feasible one as applied to the consular service. The 
 President who makes, and the Senate which confirms, an 
 appointment should be satisfied, in the first j)hico, that 
 the applicant (if we still have to use that term) is a 
 
408 QUALIFICATIONS FOR CONSULS. 
 
 gentleman of good moral standing, and with a fair edu- 
 cation. The man whom our country sends abroad 
 should know something of his country^s history, and 
 should be familiar with its political, social, and mer- 
 cantile tenets. He should be a man conversant with 
 the usages of trade and commerce, and he should un- 
 derstand at least the rudiments of the common law of 
 our land. He should be an active and a healthy man, 
 for we do not want our foreign posts filled with in- 
 valids. 
 
 The suggestion that young men should be specially 
 educated for the consular service, as is done in other 
 countries, is not a good one. It would inevitably lead 
 to the formation of a bureaucracy such as already al- 
 luded to. Besides which, our government would be 
 very much hampered in its disposition of such forces. 
 We already have a limited number of consular clerks 
 who are trained in the consular service, and the}^ are 
 sufficient to fill any emergency that might arise through 
 death or removal or inability of an officer to act. If 
 the tenure of office is assured to those who are ap- 
 pointed, the officers can learn as much at a ripe age as 
 is necessary, and as well as those who have studied up 
 the matter from their youth. 
 
 One requisite, I think, is very important, — it is that 
 every consul sent to a non-English speaking country 
 should be able to speak and write the language of that 
 country', — not only that he have a smattering of the 
 language, but that he should know it well (some ex- 
 ceptions of course may be made in the case of China, 
 Japan, etc., the languages of which it is impossible to 
 acquire beforehand in the United States). There are 
 no positive instructions on this point, it is only mildly 
 suggested somewhere that the consuls apply themselves 
 to learning the language as soon as convenient. But a 
 consul has his time fully occupied and has none of it to 
 spare (if he attends to his business) for the study of 
 languages, and besides, it is then too late for him to be- 
 gin ; he wants that knowledge from the very start. On 
 arriving at his post, the first persons he has to do with 
 are not his own countrymen, but those of the place he 
 
LINGUISTIC ACQUIREMENTS, 409 
 
 is in. He is expected to present himself to certain of 
 the officials of the city, and to his colleagues from other 
 countries. It is very humiliating for the individual to 
 have to put his first question on such occasions, " Do you 
 speak English, sir?" and if by chance the other party 
 is not able to converse in English, to stand hemming 
 and bowing there and making ungainly signs and awk- 
 wardly getting himself out again without either party 
 having had any satisfaction from the visit. It places 
 our government in a very humiliating light too, for 
 foreigners shrug their shoulders and think, *'Is this 
 international courtesy, to send a person over to us in an 
 official capacity and expect us to learn his language for 
 the purpose of being able to communicate with him ?" 
 They gauge a man's other qualifications by that of his 
 linguistic shortcomings, and they wonder if we have 
 so few educated men in the United States that we can- 
 not aiford to send one who is able to talk not only in 
 his own, but in at least one foreign language. Again, 
 it is a risky thing to take the chance of a man's being 
 able to learn a strange language. Some people have 
 no talent that way, however intelligent they may be 
 in other things. It is a good deal like the position of 
 the man who was asked if he could play the fiddle, and 
 answered that he didn't know, he had never tried it. 
 I have known many consuls, very estimable men, who 
 at the end of their four years' sojourn in a foreign coun- 
 try knew as little of its language as they did of 
 Esquimaux. 
 
 In most non-Christian countries the consul has very 
 varied and very extended powers; he acts in a judicial 
 capacity, having to " adjudge the financial interests of 
 Lis countrymen, and to try those accused of crimes, in 
 some instances involving the extreme penalties of tho 
 law." It is evident that at such posts it is necessary 
 to send trained lawyers to act as consuls. But in all 
 Christian and civilized countries, and especially in such 
 where we have a diplomatic representative, tho princi- 
 pal part of a consul's official work is of a mercantile 
 character; for this reason it is essential that men who 
 have had business experience should be sent abroad. 
 s 35 
 
410 CONSULAR DUTIES. 
 
 The notarial business which a consul is allowed to per- 
 form is separate and distinct from his official duties ; 
 the government is not responsible for any notarial acts 
 of a consul, nor is he responsible to the government for 
 them, and the government does not derive any profit 
 from the fees received for such acts, and the consul is, 
 moreover, warned that he shall only attend to such busi- 
 ness when it can be done without interfering with his 
 official duties, or without taking up time that should 
 be devoted to his consular work. A consul, therefore, 
 although he has daily opportunity of making himself 
 useful to his fellow-countrymen abroad in drawing up 
 papers and taking acknowledgments for them which 
 it would be very inconvenient, in many cases impossi- 
 ble, for them to obtain except through the agency of 
 the consul, is not necessarily obliged to act as notary. 
 If he chooses to do so he can, by the aid of good text- 
 books and form-books, and by the experience which he 
 gains in such matters, soon get sufficient knowledge to 
 enable him to act intelligently in this respect. 
 
 Everybody has some general idea of what a military 
 man has to do, or what a naval officer or a postmaster 
 or a judge or even a president has to do, but there are 
 few who have any clear idea of what a consul's occu- 
 pation is. It is mostly supposed that the post is a 
 sinecure. Although it is well known that the pay is 
 not great, yet it is believed that the office gives one 
 certain social advantages, privileges, and distinctions, 
 such as are highly prized by many people. We there- 
 fore have among the army of applicants a great num- 
 ber of educated and comparatively well-to-do men, 
 who think that a few years' residence abroad will do 
 them a great deal of good. Some wish to go for the 
 benefit of their health; some are pursuing studies which 
 would be facilitated thereby; some are amateurs in 
 music or art and want to enjoy the galleries, the thea- 
 tres, and the concerts; some want to go for the purpose 
 of educating their children; some, because they want to 
 be thrown into quite a fresh circle of acquaintances. 
 The very fewest of all who apply have the principal 
 object in their minds, that of serving their government. 
 
CONSULAR SALARIES. 411 
 
 They honestly intend to do that, of course, but they 
 think it can be done without much interfering with 
 their other hobbies. They suppose there will be a 
 great many papers to sign and letters to write, but 
 they think it will not take up a great deal of their 
 time, and that they can do it when it suits their own 
 convenience. It is not due to our system of filling 
 these offices, but to the enterprise, industry, and accom- 
 modating spirit of the American character that the 
 consular corps stands as high as it does. Whatever 
 misconceptions a man may have previously had of the 
 position he accepts, when he arrives at his post and 
 finds that there is really work to be done and that he 
 is obliged to do it himself, he does it. If, in years 
 gone by, the consular corps was rather looked down 
 upon as not just being formed of the best material of 
 our country, yet at the present day I believe that all 
 who know anything about it will concede that it com- 
 pares favorably in capability and intelligence and re- 
 spectability with any other branch of our civil or 
 military or naval service. 
 
 In regard to the much-mooted question touching the 
 insufficiency of the salaries paid, I will not speak. It 
 is generally contended that they are all too low. But 
 our government acts on the principle that it can get 
 plenty of able men — men with which it is satisfied — to 
 take the offices at the present rates, and why, there- 
 fore, should it volunteer to pay more? Taking all 
 the consuls-general, consuls, and commercial agents to- 
 gether, the average salary to each is about two thou- 
 sand dollars per annum. All other countries pay their 
 " consules missi" (that is, citizens of the country who 
 are sent to foreign countries as consuls, and are sal- 
 aried) much more. The average salaries of the British 
 consuls may be put down as more than twice as much 
 as ours. 
 
 The principal cause for complaint would bo that the 
 salaries are not duly proportioned according to the 
 amount of labor there is to perform at each post. Con- 
 gress has hitherto only had an 03-0 to the return of fees 
 of the various consulates. Those that return the most 
 
412 CONSULAR SALARIES. 
 
 fees to the treasury get the highest salaries. But 
 taking all the consulates together, it will be found that 
 ninety per cent, of all fees proceed from the authen- 
 tication of invoices. At many places this is mere 
 routine work requiring but little mental labor. Some 
 consulates have scarcely any invoice work to do, and 
 the fees they return are quite insignificant, yet there 
 may be much business of other kinds to do, of a tedious 
 and perplexing character, — business that calls for deep 
 consideration, study, and investigation, — business that 
 takes up much time and calls for much exertion on the 
 part of the consul, and often requires great tact and 
 delicate handling, — and yet, such consulates are the 
 ones that are the most scantily paid. Some consulates 
 are at very remote quarters of the world, — at towns 
 which are not desirable as places of residence, far from 
 any more civilized parts, where the consul feels as if he 
 were an exile, and must often lead the life of a recluse 
 also. Some posts are in countries the climate of which 
 is quite dangerous for foreigners, and it certafnly re- 
 quires some resolution of character for a man to go to 
 such a place for small pay. On the other hand, there 
 are many pleasant places of residence, particularly^ in 
 Europe, gay cities, or towns situated among beautiful 
 scenery, offering every advantage for recreation and 
 amusement, which are proportionately much better 
 paid. As the consul receives no compensation for 
 travelling expenses either from his home to his post 
 or from his post home again, and as he is instructed to 
 take the quickest — that is, the dearest — means of get- 
 ting to his post, it may, with a family, often cost him 
 much over a thousand dollars to get to a place which, 
 when he takes possession of it, brings him in less than 
 that sum annually. Those consuls whose salary is over 
 one thousand dollars are allowed a sum for office rent 
 not exceeding twenty per cent, of their salaries. ThiSj 
 generally, is enough to pay for the bare rooms, which, 
 according to instructions, should be in a central and 
 respectable part of the town. The office furniture con- 
 sists mostly of a very plain desk, a book-rack, some 
 boxes for invoices, and a fire-proof safe; but if the 
 
CONSULAR SALARIES. 413 
 
 consul wants a chair to sit down on or a chair for any 
 one else to sit on, he either has to buy or hire it. The 
 cleaning, lighting, and heating of his office he has to 
 pay out of his own pocket. Even the salary he is pro- 
 mised is an illusion, for he only draws that so long as 
 he is at his post. If he works for three hundred and 
 sixty-five days a year, deducting the Sundays, he gets 
 the whole of it, but if he takes a little holiday, he must 
 pay for that out of his own pocket. If he goes away 
 for a short time, he must pay the vice-consul for acting 
 during his absence. He can make an arrangement 
 with the latter as to the compensation he is to receive, 
 but in whatever way the agreement is made, it gener- 
 ally comes to about one-half the salary for the time the 
 vice-consul acts as consul. If the consul absents him- 
 self for a period longer than sixty days, as, for instance, 
 on a visit to the United States, he is obliged to pay 
 the vice-consul for every day over and beyond the 
 sixty days his whole salary. The poorest clerk, if he 
 is promised so and so much annually, and his employ- 
 ers allow him a few weeks^ holiday, does not have his 
 pay docked on that account. The representative in a 
 foreign country labors under great disadvantages too, 
 for being strange to the ways of the place, he pays 
 more for every article than a native would do, and ho 
 does not get the same return for his money as a citizen 
 of the place with the same salary would. If, once 
 settled, he is willing to live as the people there do, he 
 can possibly manage to scratch along, but if he tries to 
 live in the way he has been living at home, he finds 
 that every deviation from the customs of the country 
 is an extra and a luxury, for which he has to pay 
 heavil}^ and out of all proportion to its value. 
 
 As our consuls, notwithstanding the scanty means 
 furnished them by the government, are proud to keep 
 up a certain appearance of neatness and completeness 
 in their offices and their dwellings, and as the United 
 States is everywhere known to be such a rich country, 
 the idea gains abroad that our consuls are rolling in 
 wealth. I received several letters from parties ottering 
 large tracts of houses for sale, because they thought it 
 
 35* 
 
414 SALARY OF CLERK. 
 
 would be a trifle for the consul to buy them and to 
 erect "large business palaces in their place in the 
 American style/' which would bring in good profits. 
 A gentleman called one afternoon after business hours 
 and wrote on the slate, which I always had hanging at 
 the door, that he thought it would be advisable for the 
 consul to keep a servant that could speak English, as 
 the servant I had was of no kind of use to Americans 
 coming to make inquiries. Yes, of course, — I ought to 
 have imported an American black boy or an English 
 flunkey in livery to satisfy that gentleman. A lady 
 came, too, once, and couldn't get along much better with 
 the servant. It was late in the afternoon, and I had 
 some important writing to finish, and did not want to 
 be disturbed, and had given orders not to admit any 
 more visitors. But the lady couldn't understand the 
 servant's apologies, — she was heard to say in anything 
 but a winning voice, " Oh, shut up with your German ; 
 I want somebody that speaks English," and giving the 
 girl a stab with her parasol, she pushed past her to the 
 ofiice door. The servant was quite frightened, — she 
 thought the lady was going to make an assault on her. 
 One man's ideas of a consulate was that it ought to 
 have a cosey reading-room furnished with all the leading 
 American journals, — paid for by the consul, of course. 
 
 Another serious drain upon the nominal salary of the 
 consul is the payment of a clerk, which in most cases 
 has to be made out of his own pocket. Oat of over 
 two hundred consulates only about fifty receive any 
 sum for clerk hire. But there is scarcely a consulate 
 where there is so little work as not to require the ser- 
 vices of a clerk, unless the consul is willing to slave, 
 and to attend to all business which is not strictly desk- 
 business, outside of business hours. It can then be 
 asked if the consul have any hours of recreation at all. 
 He is obliged to keep his office open daily from ten to 
 four o'clock, according to the statutes ; if there is any 
 business to do outside of the office, he must attend to 
 it before or after these hours. If he wants to get 
 through with his daily work without neglecting any 
 
TRANSACTING BUSINESS, 4I5 
 
 part of it, and if he wants to keep up any show of the 
 respectability and importance which, certainly, a gov- 
 ernment office in a foreign country ought to command, — 
 unless he wants to be the personal prey of every street 
 beggar and vagabond that chooses to enter the office, — 
 he is obliged to take some one as an assistant. He 
 needs such a person to do the routine work, to attend 
 to parties who come on usual business, while the con- 
 sul may be engaged with others on matters which only 
 the consul, personally, can attend to. He, in most 
 cases, cannot afford to pay much to such a person, but 
 whatever he does pay goes out of his salary and helps 
 to lessen it. 
 
 Mr. Frelinghuysen says, " No consulate should be 
 without a clerk to keep the office during the consul's 
 absence, for in the performance of his duties the consul 
 must be out of his office frequently. It is his duty to 
 acquaint himself with the market value of the goods 
 exported from his post ; to attend to Americans there 
 present, and needing aid ; at seaports, to visit Ameri- 
 can vessels, which, in many instances, lie at anchor 
 several miles distant from the consulate, a single visit 
 to such vessels often consuming the consul's time for an 
 entire day; and, in short, to perform many duties 
 which make it imperatively necessary that he should 
 leave the consulate from time to time, and this during 
 business hours, when some one should be present in the 
 office." 
 
 Mr. Frelinghuysen, in that very sensible paper, — his 
 report of March 20, 1884, to the President, — puts the 
 whole needs of a reform in the consular service in their 
 true light. 
 
 Of the many demands for charity thrust upon a con- 
 sul every one can have an idea, — but I have adverted 
 to such cases in the body of this book. 
 
 The proposition sometimes made, that it would be 
 well to allow every consul to carry on a private busi- 
 ness in the country he is in, and that then it would not 
 be necessary to pay the high (?) salaries now paid, is 
 one that cannot bo taken into serious consideration. 
 If a man attends to the duties of the consulate ho has 
 
416 CONSULAR REPORTS. 
 
 no time to attend to any business of his own, and if, as 
 a merchant, he expects to make any money, he would 
 not have time to attend to the consulate, — it is the old 
 proof of the old dictum that a man cannot serve two 
 masters. 
 
 The Department of State has on several occasions 
 expressed its satisfaction with the services of the con- 
 sular corps, but the consuls, of course, never have an 
 opportunity of expressing in how far they are satisfied 
 with the Department. If there is any cause for com- 
 plaint, the only satisfaction one has is the negative one 
 of the reflection of children who think they are not 
 rightly treated by their progenitors, — that one ought 
 to have been more careful in the choice of one's parents. 
 The Department is very fatherly in its relations to- 
 wards the consuls ; it would like to do them a favor 
 i»ow and then, but it is very strict, and always has 
 Congress at its back to prevent any spoiling of its chil- 
 dren. The Department is the Mr. Spenlow of the 
 firm, but Congress is, in reality, the terrible Mr. Jorkins. 
 I can only say, from my own experience, that every 
 reasonable request made to the Department is, if the 
 Department have the power of doing so, granted. 
 
 Many suggestions could be made, no doubt, for the 
 more intimate connection between the Department and 
 its consuls, and, indeed, consuls have been invited to 
 make such suggestions, and the Department, if con- 
 vinced of their usefulness, has acted upon them to the 
 extent of its power. It is verj'- certain that never be- 
 fore has the Department taken such a lively interest in 
 the whole working of the consular system as within 
 the last ten years, — since the incumbency of Mr.Bvarts, 
 in fact, as Secretary of State. To that gentleman are 
 due many of the reforms in the service over which he 
 liad direct control. He gave the consuls a stirring up, 
 but it was good for them. He prevented their going 
 to sleep, and they are now obliged to give signs that 
 they are awake at all times in the form of the frequent 
 consular reports, which are in turn given to the public. 
 However much some people have tried to ridicule these 
 reports, — and others have earnestly argued that they 
 
CONSULAR REPORTS, 417 
 
 are of no value whatever, — yet I think the majority of 
 those who read them acknowledge their usefulness. 
 There are, of course, many places from which a consul 
 cannot communicate anything that is new, and if forced 
 to write by the fatherly commands of the Department, 
 he can only reiterate what has already been said, and 
 turn up the old dust on roads that are being constantly 
 travelled. Yet if any one will take the trouble to com- 
 pare the generality of these reports with those made 
 some fifteen or twenty years back, he will find in many 
 respects great improvements. In former years the De- 
 partment did not trouble itself much about the consuls 
 and the consuls did not trouble themselves much about 
 the Department. I know that in one instance the De- 
 partment wrote to a certain consul that no communi- 
 cation had been received from him for over two years, 
 and it urged him to let the Department know some- 
 thing of what he was doing. 
 
 That the consul may not be at a loss for a subject to 
 write upon, the Department now considerately helps 
 him along by frequently asking for special information, 
 which makes the literary labors very varied. In its 
 endeavors to do good to the public the Department 
 takes up the consideration of every theme that the 
 public wishes to be enlightened on. If anybody wants 
 to know anything about a foreign country, all he has 
 to do is to go to the State Department and communi- 
 cate his wishes, and the Department sends out a circu- 
 lar for the consuls to give the desired information. 
 But there is some danger of this convenient sj'Stem 
 being carried too far. In 1884 a delegation of tailors 
 called on the Secretary of State and asked for intelli- 
 gence through the instrumentality of the consuls in all 
 quarters of the globe on certain points, — as to whether, 
 in the consul's district, there are any schools where 
 boys can learn the tailors' trade ; by what laws they 
 are governed, and whether the system is a success, etc., 
 etc., — and the Department launched out its cireulara 
 accordingly. If that sort of thing goes on wo shall 
 soon be called upon to inquire into the workings of 
 street-cleaners and chimney-sweeps, and tluit much 
 hb 27 
 
418 UNCERTAINTY OF TENURE OF OFFICE. 
 
 vexed question as to what kind of soap the latter gen- 
 tlemen find most effective in scouring their counte- 
 nances after the termination of their day's labor. 
 
 Before this organized inquisitiveness was introduced 
 on the present extended scale, I sometimes thought the 
 Department showed apathy in regard to subjects which 
 ought to interest it. I remember being once invited 
 to witness some experiments made with a certain new 
 material for rendering wood, paper, woven stuffs, — in 
 fact, all kinds of materials, — incombustible. The arti- 
 cles were impregnated or coated with the newly-found 
 mixture, and trials were made at the bronze-foundry 
 and at the theatre with them. The flames raged 
 around, over, under, and through them, and yet they 
 would not catch the fire, nor were they consumed. I 
 thought at least the thing had merit, and, considering 
 the great number of conflagrations we have at home, 
 that it ought to have interest for our people. I there- 
 fore wrote to the Department about what I had wit- 
 nessed, and in fact was doing nothing more than ful- 
 filling a duty thereby, for we are instructed to notify 
 the Department of any new inventions that might be 
 of advantage to our country. To my very warm de- 
 scription of the fiery ordeal I had witnessed came the 
 rather cool reply that " Dispatch No. so and so has 
 been received.'' 
 
 About a year afterwards the fire broke out in the 
 Patent Office, destroying thousands of models of pat- 
 ented inventions, records, and a great part of the build- 
 ing itself, which it has taken years and years to re- 
 pair. 
 
 To come again to the starting-point of this chapter, 
 — the present uncertainty of the tenure of office, — there 
 is still a word to say which I neglected putting in its 
 right place. 
 
 Through resignations, removals, and other causes 
 vacancies arise during the middle or towards the close 
 of an administration. New appointments are at once 
 made, and plenty of men are found eager to fill the va- 
 cancies. They know that in all human probability 
 
THE ''SWORD OF DAMOCLES,'' 419 
 
 they will only be able to keep the office for a year or 
 two, or even for a few months only, and that when the 
 new President comes in they must again give place to 
 another man. They must be men of some means or 
 they would not be willing to pay the expense of the 
 journey out and back again ; they therefore look at 
 the appointment in the light of a pleasant excursion, 
 and for the short time they have before them they 
 think it is hardly worth while to take very serious 
 hold of the work. They find a vice-consul at the post, 
 a native of the place (for the fewest of our vice-consuls 
 are Americans), who has probably been in the same 
 position under several of his predecessors, and who, 
 therefore, knows the ropes. Such men, who have the 
 means to compensate a vice-consul, too often degener- 
 ate into mere figure-heads. They sign their name at 
 the bottom of printed forms and other papers, and the 
 office is run by the vice-consul and the clerk, if there 
 is one. They travel a good deal, I am told, at least if 
 I am to take the authority of a lady who once came to 
 the office when I happened to be away myself. She 
 had important business, of course, and wanted to see 
 the consul personally. The vice-consul told her the 
 consul was out of town, but that he could attend to 
 what she wanted. She rather took all the dignity out 
 of him by exclaiming, impatiently, " Oh, pshaw ! wher- 
 ever I go I find nothing but vice-consuls. I would 
 like once to see a real consul." Her wish could not be 
 gratified on the spur of the moment. But that night 
 she was taken suddenly ill, and she was glad enough 
 to send round to the vice-consul's house to come to her 
 immediately. It was a sort of retribution, I suppose, 
 that she had to accept his services in running for a 
 doctor for her. 
 
 I commenced this book with a quotation from an 
 article written by a consul many years ago, and I close 
 it by referring to an impassioned remark of a col- 
 league, who, in expatiating on the utter uncertainty of 
 his position, said it was like the "sword of Damocles** 
 hanging over him. The lease of his residence was out, 
 
420 CONCLUSION, 
 
 and he had to move ; but would it pay to go to the ex- 
 pense of taking other lodgings, if only for six months, 
 when he knew that the President was making many 
 new appointments ? By the time he got his furniture 
 snugly ensconced in his new abode, the knell might come 
 that he must give place to another man ; he could not 
 tell when his turn might come ; no kind of a hint is 
 given of it beforehand ; he does not know what plans 
 to make. To add to the tantalizing predicament, he is 
 still buoyed up with the faint hope that perhaps he 
 may escape the general dethronement. 
 
 And that man's position is the position of almost all. 
 
 No matter how well a man has performed the duties 
 of the office ; no matter how well qualified he may be 
 for the position ; no matter how well satisfied the State 
 Department may be with him ; no matter how highly 
 he may be esteemed by the community among which 
 he has been sojourning, — without any cause, without 
 any reason being given, without a word of recognition 
 of his services, any day, any hour, at any period of his 
 career, — the postman may bring to his hand the fatal 
 missive : 
 
 *^SiR, — The President having appointed Mr. , 
 
 of , consul of the United States for , I will 
 
 thank you to deliver to him the records and archives 
 of the office, the seal, press, flag, and arms, together 
 with the Revised Statutes, the Statutes at Large, 
 Wheaton's Digest, and all other books and property in 
 your possession belonging to the United States. 
 
 " I am, sir, etc.*** 
 
 Sic transit gloria Consulum, 
 
 * I was fortunate enough not to get such a summons. It having been 
 my intention to leave the city I was in and the consular service also, I 
 sent in my resignation just before the inauguration of President Cleve- 
 land, and turned over the office to the vice-consul. 
 
 Nuremberg, March 28, 1885. 
 
 THE END. 
 
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 A WORLD LEADER IN PAPER PRESERVATION 
 
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