LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. ©fera, dajmrigli 3ftu Shelf. jrr- . \ to UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. f\p\)or\sn\$ of J!k T 1 ?^ T^'W- APHORISMS OF THE THREE THREES BY EDWARD OWINGS TOWNE *t*A i ■ An Aphorism is the sum of a long reflectio7t; a sentence embodying a deep thought; a fezv words conveying a wor- thy sentiment. JAN 6 1887 £ / ^ washing^ CHICAGO CHARLES H KERR & COMPANY 1887 COPYRIGHT, 1886, By Edward Owlngs Towne, W. S. BATTIS & CO., PRINTERS, CHICAGO. This little book derives its name — Aphorisms of The Three Threes, — from the fact that its contents, for the most part, are made up of the utterances of the members of a small south side club called The Three Threes, — an association of nine well known business and professional gentlemen of Chicago, who dine together, at stated inter- vals, in the club rooms of a down town restaurant. At these meetings, held "every ninth night after the first night of each and every of the nine months following the ninth month of the year," called "Ninth Night Banquets," it is the custom of the members, "seated in threes at three three-legged tables," to spend the entire evening in discus- sions upon such topics as suggest themselves, or may be called out by the events of the day. From these after- dinner conversations the aphorisms of the following pages have been gathered by the writer, to whose habit of noting down such observations of his friends as seemed to him to be particularly original, witty, sparkling or just, he owes it that he is able to present to the reader a volume which he hopes may not prove to be altogether unentertaining or uninstructive. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. MAN'S worth may usually be measured by the number of sacrifices he has made. It is not in being deceived that we are pained; it is in being undeceived. 3 If you would hear a wise man speak like a fool, get him to talk about his children. 4 It is a question, frequently, whether the re- membrance of our joys or of our sorrows furnishes us with the more satisfactory recol- lections. 6 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 5 Soft words strike hard blows. He that goes into debt makes himself the slave of the future. 7 A woman never sincerely hates a man whom she has not loved. How wise we would all be, could we but recall, upon occasion, the thoughts we have forgotten. 9 How quickly one forgets the things that move him most. How quickly a face van- ishes into a dream. How quickly a love be- comes a memory. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. . J 10 He argues best who never contradicts. II Women write as they dress — to be ad- mired. 12 Our best wish for our friend would be — not that he might never have a disappointment, but — that he might never have a disappoint- ment that might not be for his good. 13 He that is prone to construe to his own disadvantage every look and word of his neighbor passes sentence upon himself as meriting the supposed criticism. For he that looks for censure will seldom fail to find it, and kind fortune has so ordered, that the occasion will be rare when he will not merit Avhat he gets. 8 , Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 14 To be happy, make others happy. 15 Arm wit with sneers and you have sar- casm. 16 The most selfish man is not always selfish. Let no one plume himself on a single good action. 17 The greater part of the business of society is small talk. He that takes anything to heart, said in gossip, is foolish. 18 People of equal mental capacities are al- ways mutually attracted. Thus a fool is never so happy as when surrounded by an hundred others. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 9 Patience is the noblest form of courage. 20 He that has many faults has few excuses; he that has few, has many. 21 Youth is the time of choice; old age is moral or vicious by habit. 22 Poverty is the usual heritage of the son of the father, who was ever the poor man s friend. 23 Woman plays the greatest havoc with the mildest weapons. She has been known to sink a navy with a tear, to scatter an army with a smile, to buy a world with a caress. io Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 24 To be kind is to be wise. 25 Age is not experience: some men are old at thirty, others young at sixty years. 26 From childhood the world constantly be- comes narrower until it reaches a point in death. 27 Women are more apt to fall into love with men that pretend to love them than with those that really do. To one who loves with his whole heart, the issue of his suit is so momentous, that he stands but an un- equal chance with his skillful, fearless rival, upon whom failure can entail no more ser- ious consequences than the soon forgotten pangs of wounded vanity. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. n 28 There is always luck in a little ill-luck. 29 The really unfortunate victims of drink are the drunkard's friends. 30 The years dim the eyes of those that love, that age may see no wrinkles in the dear familiar face. 31 If you would have a woman think you per- fect, accuse yourself of faults which you do not possess. If you are charitable and kind- hearted, confess with penitence that your most grievous sin is selfishness. She will quickly take up the cudgels for you to defend yourself against yourself, and will soon, in her earnestness, become blind to those faults which you really have. 12 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 32 Our fears furnish our hopes with wings. 33 An atmosphere of applause is the paradise of fools. 34 Men are more frequently jealous from pride than from love. 35 How few the friendships that endure, when to be faithful is to incur reproach and shame. 36 Notwithstanding professions of friendship, no prudent man will believe that a man who was once his enemy has become sincerely his friend. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 13 37 Every friend multiplies myself. 38 The dead are lonely in winter. Grief freezes as well as love. 39 To make a fool your enemy is, frequently, to make a wise man your friend. 40 If a man wrote all his thoughts in a book the best name he could give it would be — A Volume of Confessions. 41 We find more generous poor men than generous rich ones. The poor are generous from sympathy; the rich, too frequently, from pride. 14 Aphorisms of the Three Threes, 42 There is a laughter sadder than tears. 43 The dishonest man's most skillful antago- nist is himself. 44 Nothing increases our respect for a man so much as to see him respected by others. 45 There are virtues that, adhered to too strictly or carried too far, become vices. 46 The presence of poverty softens the heart; the presence of death renders it humble. 47 What a home of follies the human heart would be, did not one drive out another! Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 15 48 Repentance is God's fire for refining souls. 49 He that pockets an insult usually thereby pockets money. 50 Every public work of a great city should be a work of art. 5i He who thinks he needs it not, stands most in need of experience. 52 The more men deceive others, the more they deceive themselves. S3 For the majority of men, it is pleasanter to read modern criticisms than old plays. 16 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 54 Our hopes end in — hopes. 55 If you would see a plain woman beautiful, put love into her eyes. 56 Since the world began, a good dinner has ever made a wise man happy. 57 When a vice wishes to disguise itself, it almost always assumes the garb of its op- posite virtue. 58 The chief use, at the present day, of the jury (an ancient relic of times when people hanged witches and ate without forks) is to delay justice and render litigation uncer- tain and expensive. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. i? 59 If sin be beautiful it is no longer sin. 60 The older the bachelor, the younger he wants the lady to be. 61 The child is like the narrow man; the nar- row man is like the child. 62 Terror and joy are not altogether strang- ers. Love frequently surprises them in very close company, 63 He who never fails in an undertaking is, usually, of a soul so narrow that it can be of little consequence to the world whether he succeeds or does not succeed. 1 8 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 6 4 Great virtues magnify little vices. 65 Pity for others is courage; pity for our- selves, cowardice. 66 Praise, though deserved, is mere flattery, if he who yields it hopes thereby to benefit himself. 67 An engrossing vanity will not brook jeal- ousy; but a jealous man is always somewhat vain. 68 The most ordinary life, were its secrets fairly written out, would read very like a romance. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 19 69 Wit is wisdom's playground. 70 One can hear everything at a watering place, except people saying their prayers. 7i The majority of people, it would seem, spend half their youthful days striving to render their old age miserable. 72 The truth concerning a contemporary can not be known; invariably, his friends make him better, his enemies worse, than he is. 73 The pain occasioned by a request granted too late is greater than the pain occasioned by a request denied. 20 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 74 Love is the key of heaven. 75 It is difficult to be witty in the presence of those we fear. 7 6 The slave for whom there is the least hope of freedom is the slave of an idea. 77 We frequently show a consideration for two, in company, which we would bestow upon neither, if alone. 78 No man is so great that he can borrow no lustre from his friends; no man so low that he may not be further dishonored by his associates. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 21 79 A mistake can never be wholly rectified. 80 An unhappy childhood embitters a whole life. 81 They that govern by fear are themselves governed by passion. 82 Not he whom men deem successful is to be envied, but he that has a happy, virtuous and contented heart. 83 The road of vice is a complete circle. He that travels upon it is constantly shaking hands with the same old landlords and be- ing bitten by the same old dogs. 22 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 84 Memory is a good staff, but a poor sword. 85 Most follies die of their own extravagan- cies. 86 Passionate memories are sometimes more powerful than present emotions. 87 That which we have long expected fre- quently comes when we are least prepared to receive it. 88 The question most often on a woman's lips, in addressing her lover, is .... Are you sure that you love mef The thing about love that a woman would last part with is ... . loves protestations. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 23 89 Smiles and tears are very near relatives. 90 We more readily forgive grave faults that do not injure us, than slight ones that do. 91 Of pride and interest, pride is the greater liar. 92 If you would flatter a man, remember his face ; if you would wound him, forget his name. 93 There is a sad infinity, called the world, in which a man can never distinguish true from pretended friends, except he have the misfortune of being covered with calumny and reproach. 24 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 94 More faults have been cured by ridicule than by reason. 95 We answer the questions we put to our- selves with shrugs. 96 We trust nothing so fondly as hope; yet nothing has so often deceived us. 97 A bad system of art usually receives its death blow from the devotion of its follow- ers. 98 The height of a man's monument, dead, is usually in exact proportion to the length of his purse, living. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 25 99 He may be bold for a cause that is timid for himself. 100 Philosophy frequently reiterates what wit has better said before. 101 The most disgusting affectation is the af- fectation of being unaffected. 102 A gentleman is a man who respects him- self and has a heart solicitous for the welfare of others. 103 How many faults, that before we did not perceive, we are able to find in the man that has slighted us. 26 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 104 They that tell lies should have long mem- ories. 105 If we seek more than one woman's love we deserve none. 106 Almost every vice can be shown to have had its origin in some other vice. 107 None are so foolish as those that pre- ceded you; none so wise as those that come after you. 108 The difference between love as a passion and love as a sentiment is almost as great as the difference between love and hate. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 27 109 The guilty conscience discovers a punish- ment in every misfortune. no There is nothing so honest as prejudice — and nothing so fatal to honesty. in To have an opinion is to be unpopular; to have no opinion is to be contemptible. 112 One should in youth practice the virtues of old age, if he would in old age enjoy the delights of youth. 113 When one has learned to boast so grace- fully as not to offend his neighbors, he has mastered a useful art. 28 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 114 Success makes men daring; fortune favors daring men. US Cruelty for a moment is sometimes kind- ness for a lifetime. 116 The greatest harm that some men can do a woman is .... to love her. 117 If we would win confidence, we must seem to bestow confidence. Diplomacy has no deeper secret. 118 In order to judge a man we should know not only what others think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 29 119 In all change there is a tendency to the better. 120 It is impossible to think well of a man and ill of his friends. 121 The woman whose virtue does her the least honor is the homely woman. 122 Nothing will bring thoughts of ourselves so quickly to mind as to hear others talk of themselves. 123 When fortune lacks other materials for making a successful man, she seizes upon her favorite's blunders. 3Q Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 124 Vices, more readily than virtues, become habits. 125 We think of death as near to every one but ourselves. 126 He that utters the noblest sentiments does not always lead the best life. 127 The generosity of the man that gives, in order that he may receive, is mere greed. 128 Men are prone to imagine that because some of the censure they receive is unmerit- ed, it is all unjustly bestowed. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 31 129 A handsome face is usually an index of a good heart. 130 Poverty is an anchor many times; but oftener, a millstone. 131 He that marries to please his fancy, usually repents to satisfy his judgment. 132 Our lives, in great part, are made up of events that ordinarily would not occur. 133 He is not so much to be pitied who has misfortunes, as he that is unable to turn them to account, or bear them with patience. 32 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 134 We frequently drink, not that we want wine, but wit. 135 The things that cost most are the things that are given to us. 136 There is no character which interest plays so often as that of disinterestedness. 137 If Christianity were not the true religion its ministers would have killed it long ago. 138 Sad as it may seem, love, with the majority of mankind, is a mere habit, engendered and fostered by associations, circumstances, and conveniencies; circumscribed and limited by the possibilities of prosperity or adversity, thrift or unthrift, success or failure. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 33 139 The really good are those who are good unconsciously. 140 The family of the vices is noted for the misery of its children, 141 Having forgiven our faults, we find fault with others .... for being less kind. 142 It is some time after we have ceased to love that we give up the pretense of loving. 143 No man should be judged by an absolute standard of morality. The practices of the age in which he lives, the habits of the peo- ple by whom he is surrounded and a thousand considerations of tastes, motives, circumstances, and conditions, should enter into the account and affect the decision. 34 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 144 A man's life is half over before he learns how to live. 145 The rejected lover finds his greatest con- solation in the belief that he — can never again be happy. 146 He can not have good manners who has not self-possession. Self-possession is the first quality of a gentleman. 147 The most untiring and ceaseless talkers in the world are the man who makes a long story short; the minister, who says a few words by way of conclusio?t; the law- yer, who tries to be as brief as possible ; and the woman, who has just a minute to stay. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 35 148 It is easier to conquer an "I will" than an ( I will not." 149 However unworthy the object, love en- nobles the lover. 150 He that profits by conversation will, ordi- narily, listen but to so much of what is said as will furnish him with the cues of his own reflections. 151 If the Devil were to write a novel, his hero would be a bad man subsequently re- formed. His Majesty would follow him through all the intrigues of vice with intens- est sympathy and interest; when he became good .... a?td married the story would end. 36 Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 152 Malice can not go into details without un- masking itself. 153 By hating a man we confess a certain ad- miration for him. 154 Time creeps for the lender but flies for the borrower. 155 It is less difficult to remember what others have said than to remember what we our- selves have said. 156 Flattery is an instrument that every man of the world should know how to use. The most cunning and irresistible flattery, at the proper time, is silence. The most skillful flatterer is he who listens well. Aphorisms of the Three Threes. 37 157 Few would do evil did they not expect that from evil good would come. 158 The cords with which love binds two hearts together are exceeding strong ! We may say, "Ah! ah! " and— "It is over." We deceive ourselves. The bonds are not all broken — some of them remain .... and must sever one by one .... and days and months and years must aid .... to loosen and decay! 159 Most people that write verses give as a reason for the belief that they possess talent, that they do it so easily. Truly . . . . , for it is possible to write a thousand lines of verse and not give expression to a single worthy thought. They that write should remember that mere sound, in composition, is like foam upon the water, beautiful .... but nothing floats upon it. 38 Aphorisms of the Three Threes, 160 Those who listen most attentively are frequently most bored. 161 In youth we long for the fame of the fu- ture; in age we sigh for the happiness of the past. 162 To-day is a substance; to-morrow a dream. To-day is youth and strength and glory; to- morrow old age and feebleness and shame. To-day is life; to-morrow death. To-day is time; to-morrow eternity. 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