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LETTERS 
 
 FRANCE: 
 
 WRITTEN BY 
 
 A MODERN TOURIST 
 
 IN THAT COUNTRY 
 
 AND DESCRIPTIVE OF SOME OF THE MOST AMUSING 
 
 MANNERS AND CUSTOMS OF THE FRENCH. 
 
 WITH CHARACTERISTIC ILLUSTRATIONS, FROM DRAWINGS 
 TAKEN ON THE SPOT; 
 
 By M. S. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR, 
 AND SOLD BY T. SOTHERAN, No. 3, OLD BROAD STREET. 
 
 1815. 
 
DC33, 
 
 Q.m. 
 
 \4- \&60 
 
 J. HILL, PRINTER, 
 HUISHI COURT, WATER LANE, BLACK FRIARS, LONDON. 
 
 TMP92-008252 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 The following Letters are supposed 
 to be a correspondence between an old English 
 Alderman, illiberally prejudiced in favor of 
 his own Country, and his Nephew ; who, de- 
 pendant on him, is bit by the mania to visit 
 the Continent, and obtains his Uncle's permis- 
 sion, and the use of his purse, to gratify his 
 inclinations. 
 
 Distressed at the Old Man's prejudices, he 
 endeavours to overcome them, partly by hu- 
 mouring and partly by opposing them. He at 
 first tries to reason his uncle out of his opi- 
 nions ; but, finding the attempt unavailing, he 
 insensibly leads him on, by showing the hu- 
 mourous and pleasing side of the picture, till 
 he gradually excites a wish in the Alderman 
 to become an eye-witness to the scenes he re- 
 presents, and at length completely gains his 
 point, by making or rather by inducing his 
 Uncle to leave that land which he had vowed 
 never to quit for an hour, and visit the country 
 
 a 2 
 
\\ PREFACE. 
 
 he had abjured for ever as unworthy the trou- 
 ble or condescension of a visit from an Eng- 
 lishman. 
 
 The Author has often grieved over the ex- 
 pression, which was once let fall from a high 
 quarter in the Senate, and which has since 
 tended greatly to strengthen the prejudices 
 which have so long subsisted between this 
 country and France, by affording a citation to 
 support the opinions of the ignorant and illi- 
 beral. The Author alludes to the following, 
 " That the French are our natural enemies;" 
 and, should this work in any degree tend to do 
 away with this idea, he will feel more than re- 
 compensed for his trouble. The Author, feel- 
 ing the low value of his work, is encouraged 
 in the hope of the good that may result from 
 its publication, by the idea that it is perhaps 
 
 re likely, from its nature, to fall into the 
 hands of the unfortunate proselytes of the sen- 
 timent alluded to than any other set of people. 
 
 The pretensions of this work being very 
 small indeed, the Author entertains a hope 
 that he may not fail in his object. He co- 
 vets not that his work should be deemed hu- 
 mourous, witty, or clever, but only hopes that 
 it may amuse an idle hour. 
 
LETTERS 
 
 FROM 
 
 FRAN C E 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 Harley Street, Cavendish Square, 
 September 1, 1814. 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 I see what it is, you want to go to 
 France. — Well you are welcome to my purse, 
 even though it be to make use of it in that vile 
 country. — Go, but remember, young men are 
 fickle, pleased with novelty, and fond of play- 
 ing the ape. Mark me well — The French are 
 our natural enemies. Never forget that maxim; 
 and, if you bring home one bow, one twist, or 
 one shrug from that country — bear in mind that 
 my property is my own; and, thanks to the 
 Laws of Old England, is at my own disposal. 
 
 B 
 
2 LETTERS FROM 
 
 I am not prejudiced — no— for I like a good 
 bottle of Champaign as well as any man, and 
 none the less for its coming from France; nor 
 do I wish to be thought illiberal, for I give you 
 leave to bring back as much silks and lace for 
 your sisters and cousins as you may think pro- 
 per; but, if you learn to take snuff*, or — — - — . 
 Good by Tom; you know I am not apt to be 
 prolix. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
FRANCE. 
 
 LETTER II 
 
 Havre de Grace, Sept. 12, 1814. 
 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 Your nephew is at length in France, 
 and is not more surprized to find himself there 
 than those about him seem to be at the event, 
 for I have not been able to stir out of the house 
 as yet without being followed, like a dancing 
 bear, by a host of children; who, by the va- 
 rious reproachful changes they rung upon the 
 word Eingleese, made me, involuntarily, and for 
 the first time in my life, blush to own my coun- 
 try, and almost query with myself if there was 
 any thing disgraceful in the appellation. If 
 this feeling will wear off with custom, it is not 
 likely to continue over another day. 
 
 We had a tolerably fine passage across 
 from Southampton. Our freight consisted of 
 five deadly sick ladies, whose tongues, for 
 once in their lives, were restricted to the ut- 
 terance of one single word, Steward, which 
 rapidly passed through the various intonations 
 which the different degrees of sickness could 
 afford ; its utterance commencing with that 
 
 b2 
 
4 LETTERS FROM 
 
 certain warm feeling that universally precedes 
 sea-sickness, in a patient hope that the Stew- 
 ard would be attentive should they stand in 
 need, or rather lie in need of his assistance; 
 then, when the certain cold sensation succeed- 
 ed, changing into an impatient hope that the 
 Steward was at hand ; then, arriving at its cli- 
 max when the sudden moment came, into a vio- 
 lent call of " Steward" ! and, after this direful 
 time, varying only with the momentary relief 
 of the sufferer, but never rising above the low 
 tone of hopeless despair. 
 
 In the same cabin with these ladies were 
 two gentlemen, groaning alternately to each 
 other, but disdaining to call for the Steward, 
 who they could but perceive was fully occu- 
 pied with their unfortunate dames. * 
 
 On the deck sat a row of four qualmish 
 gentlemen, and about the deck icalked a row 
 of six gentlemen sailors in healthy pomp, and 
 some of whom had the audacity to deem them- 
 selves competent to assist when ship duty was 
 to be done; and, having first given their gloves 
 to " my man John" to hold, would display a 
 ring-loaded set of fingers on a well-greased tra- 
 versing rope; and, finding it, to their utter 
 astonishment, dirty, would wipe their hands 
 on a scented India handkerchief, and put on 
 
FRANCE. 
 
 their gloves again with an air of as much self- 
 satisfaction and approbation as if they really 
 had done something. 
 
 We arrived here yesterday. I have not yet 
 seen a Diligence, but I purpose starting in one 
 to-morrow for Rouen; and, after the account 
 I have received of them, I assure you it requires 
 no small degree of resolution to make up my 
 mind to the undertaking. 
 
 I know you are an enemy to all kind of 
 verbal gratitude, where you know it to exist 
 in the heart, I shall therefore be silent on the 
 score of your goodness, which has enabled me 
 to date my letter from this part of the world. 
 
 With best compliments to Lady Crusticorn, 
 I have the honor to be 
 Your dutiful nephew, 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
 PS, Inclosed I send you a sketch of a 
 Havre Pilot, the first effort of my pencil on 
 landing. 
 
 To Sir CRUSTICORN QUERY, Bart. 
 
LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 Rouen, 
 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 When I last wrote to you I was in a 
 state of anticipating agony, at the prospect of 
 a day's journey in a French Diligence, but I 
 assure you I found the reality far better than 
 I had hoped: there was certainly enough to 
 complain of, but far more to ridicule. 
 
 I rode, myself, in the Cabriolet or Gig in 
 front, with two others, squeezed in sufficiently 
 tight to travel over the roughest road without 
 shaking ; inside were crammed nine persons, in 
 the same compressed situation with myself, 
 two of them smoking, and with the seats so 
 ingeniously contrived that no one can descend 
 without the consent, and sometimes the de^ 
 scent, of the whole; behind was a huge over- 
 grown basket, loaded like a waggon ; and on 
 the top another smaller one, containing the 
 luggage of the travellers and a man to watch 
 them. This sort of mongrel-bred machine, 
 half-waggon and half-coach, was drawn by 
 five horses, three leaders abreast and two 
 
FRANCE. 7 
 
 wheelers, and driven by a rnan seated on the 
 near leader; but the drawing I send you with 
 this will give you a far better idea of it than 
 my pen possibly pan. 
 
 The internal and external arrangement be- 
 ing completed, a yiplent cracking of a huge 
 whip which our postilion used with both hands 
 at once, leaving the reins tied to a ring in the 
 pummel pf his saddle, together with a variety 
 of hoo-eeps, he-arks, argees, and a la routes, put 
 this curious concern in actual motion, and gave 
 me a fit of laughing, which astonished all and I 
 am sorry to say hurt the feelings pf some of my 
 companions, to whom however I apologized 
 for my rudeness by pleading the novelty of the 
 scene. 
 
 We passed through the town of Havre 
 through many narrow streets at a rapid pace, 
 and turned corners with a dexterity that would 
 have puzzled C. B. himself. 
 
 The stopping and starting of this vehicle 
 was an operation generally of five minutes du- 
 ration, the horses' mouths being as little sus- 
 ceptible to the bit as their hides were to the 
 whip. 
 
 I had taken it into my head that these Di- 
 ligences were very rough, but I soon found 
 out my error, for they are hung on thick straps 
 
8 LETTERS FROM 
 
 of leather which have a great elasticity in them ; 
 and at the end of this day's journey I feel not 
 in the least fatigued, so that on the whole I do 
 not so much despise or dread this sort of con- 
 veyance; though at the same time, if one of 
 them were to parade down St. James's, I doubt 
 if the whole city of London would not turn 
 out to behold this Travelling Phcenomenon. 
 It is late so I must to bed. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
FRANCE. 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 Harley Street. 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 Your first letter was a good one; I 
 liked it much: your second not so good. I 
 am sorry to see you are so soon becoming 
 reconciled to those wretched Diligences, which 
 appear to me to be about one hundred degrees 
 worse than our long-bodied coaches; but I was 
 glad you stood your journey in them so well. 
 
 Learn, young man, to have a better opinion 
 of the citizens of London, who never " all turn 
 out," as you express it, but on the glorious 
 Lord Mayor's day; and the man who would 
 
 not turn out on that day ! Good by Tom. 
 
 ■ — ^-Your Aunt is ill. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
W JITTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 Roiicn. 
 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 The affecting account you give of my 
 dear Aunt's indisposition does not, I must say, 
 Jeave me free from apprehension on her ac- 
 count, but flattering hope still cheers me, and 
 a confidence that you will be particular to keep 
 me informed of her health relieves me in some 
 measure from anxiety. My spirits being low, 
 you must excuse me this once if my letter par- 
 takes of a serious nature ; and, knowing that 
 my journey must be the topic, I will endeavour 
 to accommodate both our feelings. To begin 
 then with that which is uppermost in my mind ; 
 the crosses which are placed by the road side 
 in many parts of Normandy, and which must 
 strike the eye of every Englishman. Can any 
 thing be a more complete mockery of respect 
 than for two women passing the cross in high 
 dispute and anger with each other, with ill- 
 will in their hearts and ill-words on their 
 tongues, to incline their heads to it ; or for a 
 man enraged with a poor donkey, of an unfor- 
 
FRANCE. H 
 
 tunately unyielding disposition, to bastinado 
 the wretched animal by the cross with the most 
 unrelenting barbarity, only stopping in his 
 cruelty to pay the required mark of homage. 
 The former of these cases, I am told, often 
 happens, and the latter I have seen myself. 
 
 These crosses are generally about thirty 
 feet high, with the figure of Our Saviour cru- 
 cified on them. Some are better executed 
 than others, and as much as they are better so 
 are they more distressing to the feelings ; but 
 I know you are not fond of moralizing so I will 
 no more at present. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT, 
 
12 LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER VI. 
 
 Harhy Street, 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 There was something in your last 
 letter that pleased me, but be sure that you 
 never write two of the same sort to follow. 
 Your Aunt is better, so no more serious moods 
 for awhile, though I don't actually complain 
 of your last letter ; for, as I said before, there 
 was something in it that I liked. I perceive 
 you have a very just and proper idea of the hy- 
 pocritical religion of those Frenchmen, aud 
 your abuse of them proves to me that you see 
 their absurdities, as your Uncle has done before 
 you, without becoming either illiberal or pre- 
 judiced. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
FRANCE. 13 
 
 LETTER VII. 
 
 Rouen. 
 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 The detailed account you so kindly 
 give me of my dear Aunt's illness and subse- 
 quent recovery requires my most grateful ac- 
 knowledgments, and I beg of you here to ac- 
 cept them. 
 
 I am sorry to find you so very violent in 
 your sentiments against this nation. I am not 
 inclined to call you prejudiced or illiberal, but 
 I must say that, if you were to be some time 
 in this country, I cannot help thinking you 
 would change your opinion of some things. 
 Every nation has its faults ; but, in my opini- 
 on, there cannot be a more decided bane to 
 universal philanthropy than the encourage- 
 ment of the idea that one country can be the 
 natural enemy of another, a position which it 
 would be hard to maintain and still harder to 
 prove. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
U LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER VIII. 
 
 Harley Street. 
 
 Change your style of writing, young 
 man, it ill becomes you. 
 
 My opinions are not those of a fickle or a 
 young man ; they have not the variability of 
 the one, or the rashness of the other; and, if 
 you hope ever to see me in France, it is a vain 
 idea. — Write to me, but don't preach to me. — 
 France is the natural enemy of England; and 
 if you are too much of a Frenchman at heart 
 to think so, I have no wish to see your English 
 person again at my house. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
rkANCB. Yh 
 
 Letter ix, 
 
 -Pdrfo. 
 
 MY DEAtt UNCLE, 
 
 You cannot but be aware that it 
 must ever be farthest from my intentions to 
 offend an Uncle who has not only behaved 
 kindly but generously to me : accept then my 
 apology for the past, and I will endeavour for 
 the future to be more circumspect in my man- 
 ner of writing. 
 
 I reached this place yesterday at a late 
 hour; and, not having been out yet, of course 
 can give you rio intelligence respecting this 
 city, which communication I shall reserve for 
 my next. 
 
 Yesterday was Sunday; and, happening to 
 pass through a town at the hour of high mass, 
 curiosity led me near the church, when a scene 
 presented itself; which, to the eye of an Eng- 
 lishman, was inconsistent with every rule of 
 decorum. The market, which is generally the 
 case throughout Normandy, is held in the 
 space before the church. The church was 
 
16 LETTERS FROM 
 
 certainly full, and so was the market-place, 
 thus food for the mind and for the body were 
 both distributing at the same moment; for, I 
 should say, it was high market as well as high 
 mass; and it was hard to determine who was 
 most earnest, the minister in praise of virtue, 
 or the butcher in praise of meat. There was 
 a constant passing from the market to the 
 church, and from the church to the market, 
 so that he who had made a good bargain might 
 return thanks for his good fortune, and he who 
 was about to make one pray for it. 
 
 We met to-day, on the road, what is termed 
 an Avant Courier; a fellow that may be better 
 described, according to English ideas, by an 
 Avant Ragamuffin. 
 
 It is the custom in France for persons of 
 consequence, when travelling, to send on their 
 servant, with a postilion for his guide, to the 
 next stage to order horses to be ready ; and, as 
 the post-masters are obliged to send them on 
 at the rate of ten miles an hour, a pace very 
 injurious to the horses, the worst are generally 
 chosen for this duty. 
 
 In the drawing I send you, the man in the 
 foreground is the postilion, the other the ser- 
 vant ; and, as the great art in French driving 
 
v - ^ 
 
 k / 
 
 ' 
 
 
 
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FRANCE, 21 
 
 LETTER XT, 
 
 Harley Street, 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 You write in good spirits and seem 
 much amused, which you know delights me ; 
 indeed, if one could only put up with the 
 d- — -d nonsense one must meet with at every 
 step from those Frenchmen, there seems 
 enough to amuse one by all accounts, but I 
 know I should never be able to put up with 
 their hops, and their skips, and their bows, 
 and their shrugs for a single moment ; but, 
 tell me Tom, have you seen no pictures yet ? 
 You know how fond I am of painting, and I 
 shall expect you to bring me home an exact 
 account of every scrap of canvas in the 
 Louvre, 
 
 French cloths are very fine and good. Buy 
 as much as you like, but don't have an inch of 
 it made up in Paris, — No French kicks for 
 me, 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY, 
 
2i LETTERS FROM 
 
 P, S. We, that is the Lord Mayor and 
 Aldermen of the city of London, are going to 
 give a most splendid dinner on the 1st of 
 April, to He-hon-ton Das-tan-back (or some 
 such name) a Mameluke Tartar who has just 
 arrived in London, He is one of the under- 
 strappers in the stables of the great Ha-li-beii» 
 kan-some thing, and is taken even more notice 
 of. if possible, than the Cossack. 
 
 The dinner is to cost ^2,000, 
 
FRANCE. 23 
 
 LETTER XII. 
 
 Paris. 
 
 MY BEAR UNCLE, 
 
 I think you Avill hardly fear my fol- 
 lowing the Parisian mode, when I tell you 
 that pea-green trowsers of an inordinate size, 
 a bright red waistcoat, and a light grey coat, 
 apparently made for anybody but the wearer, 
 form the present Parisian Go. 
 
 The drawing I send you will give you a 
 just idea of a Paris Beau ; and, if you think I 
 oan ever reconcile myself to looking comme ga, 
 I am very much mistaken in your opinion of 
 Tom Seebright. 
 
 I have been to the Louvre several times, 
 but it is so crowded every day that it is im- 
 possible to see any thing. It will be closed 
 to the public in a few days, and then I hope 
 to pass much of my time there. 
 
 I walked in yesterday ; and, not being able 
 for the crowd to see the pictures, amused 
 myself with hearing the observations of some 
 of our City Apprentices, Shopkeepers, Tailors, 
 Men-milliners, &c. who, of course, all pass 
 
34 LETTERS FROM 
 
 themselves for Travellers and Connoisseurs 
 here. 
 
 One supposed this must be the Louvre, for 
 they had followed their paper as strictly as 
 possible. Another wondered how many peo^ 
 pie there were in the room. A third, with 
 his friend, squeezed through the crowd to the 
 farther end of, the gallery and back, as fast as 
 numbers would permit, for dinner was ready ; 
 declared it was a very pretty place, that they 
 never saw so many gilt frames before, and 
 wondered what all the pictures could be 
 about. A fourth was just going to start in 
 the diligence from Paris, but would just cram 
 his head within the Gallery door that he might 
 have it to say he had seen the Louvre, A 
 fifth, in the Gallery of pictures, wondered 
 which was the real Venus de Medicis ; while 
 a sixth, in the Gallery of statues, stood be- 
 fore a modern Laocoon, with his wife upon 
 his arm, and explained the antiquity of the 
 Apollo de Belvedere, to the great amusement 
 of a French coal-heaver, who stood by ; and 
 who could, I would venture to say, have told 
 the history of more than half the statues in the 
 room, as well as the names of the artists who 
 carved them, so low does the love for the arts 
 descend in this country. I have often seen 
 
FRANCE. 25 
 
 the lowest class of labourer, with his two 
 children and perhaps his wife beside him, 
 standing before some fine picture in the 
 Louvre, explaining the part of Scripture or 
 History to which it refered, and pointing out 
 its beauties with all the taste of an artist. 
 
 I compared the two characters, blushed 
 for my countryman, and left the Louvre. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
26 LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER XIII. 
 
 Harley Street. 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 Your account of those rascally be- 
 ings, the very bantlings of ignorance and con- 
 ceit, downright maddens me. — To think that 
 the credit of British taste is in the hands of 
 such scum. — Why, it would take a host of 
 English artists and connoisseurs to do away 
 with this one impression. I .wish I could only 
 be in that Louvre for one short hour ; I'd 
 show them that there were those in England 
 
 who : but no matter. Our dinner went 
 
 off capitally. — Two Royal Dukes at table. — 
 The Mameluke showed the manners and cus- 
 toms of his country admirably, and we all 
 went home as . Good by Tom. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
FRANCE. 27 
 
 LETTER XIV, 
 
 Paris. 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 I yesterday intimated to my Valet 
 de Place that I wished to take a trip to Ver- 
 sailles, on which he informed me that my only 
 way would be to get into a Pot de Chambre, 
 a row of which was always standing under 
 the walls of the Thuillerie Gardens. The 
 proposition was somewhat alarming to the 
 ear ; but, determining to let my eye be the 
 criterion, I pursued my way to the Pot de 
 Chambre stand, and found the vehicle to be 
 a heavy kind of tax-cart, on two wheels, 
 drawn by the ghost of a horse, and carrying 
 only six persons inside ; and baskets, bags, 
 dogs, brooms, &c. outside ad libitum. The 
 moment I came in sight of the stand I was be- 
 set by at least twenty conducteurs of these 
 machines ; who, without consulting me, but 
 as if I were common property, at once laid 
 violent hands on me ; one insisting on taking 
 me to St. Cloud, another to St. Germain, and 
 a third to Vincennes ; and it was not without 
 some hard pushes, that almost amounted to 
 
28 LETTERS FROM 
 
 blows, and some other manual exertions, that 
 I was able to extricate myself from them ; 
 when, half inangt A , I turned off, resolved to 
 give up my project if it were not attainable by 
 some milder means. When I had gone a few 
 steps, a man, hat in hand, stept up to me ; and, 
 urging that he was not one of those who had 
 so roughly handled me, pleaded so earnestly 
 that I would join a party of four, only wait- 
 ing for two more to start, that I turned again 
 and yielded to his solicitations. A fat lady 
 and her daughter were already seated, I next 
 entered with my valet, and we were in turn 
 followed by an officer of Hussars, and a dash- 
 ing girl of about twenty-two. Our postilion, 
 or conducteur as they are called, was just as 
 he is represented in the design which accom- 
 panies this, and which also gives a most faith* 
 ful portrait of the whole turn out. 
 
 We were taken nine miles in two hours and 
 a half; and, when set down at Versailles, paid 
 thirty sous, or fifteen-pence each. A cheap 
 ride it certainly was, considering how much 
 time was given us for our money, -but I 
 prefered returning on foot, and I write this 
 after a fagging walk home. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
UJ:nH \\\w\\ 
 
FRANCE. 29 
 
 LETTER XV. 
 
 Harley Street. 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 You know I am fond of the humour- 
 ous, and hang me if I would not almost go to 
 France merely for the sake of having it to 
 say that I had rode in a Pot de Chambre ; it 
 would tell so well against the Monsieurs. 
 
 You say nothing of the Boulevards. Tell 
 me about them. A friend of mine, who has 
 just returned from France, tells me they are 
 the only things worth seeing in Paris. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
30 LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER XVI, 
 
 Paris. 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 You ask me for an account of the 
 Boulevards, and I am seated to answer your 
 request ; but, in so doing, I must warn you 
 that I shall make the future remarks of your 
 friend, whoever he be, sink lower in your 
 estimation^ 
 
 The Boulevards.- are a continuation of very 
 broad streets, bordered with. a double row of 
 small trees ; and which formerly surrounded 
 Paris ; but which, from the town having 
 extended far beyond them on all sides, form 
 now a rural circle, as it were, round the heart 
 only of the city. 
 
 On these Boulevards every thing of curious 
 and common, novel and antique, wise and 
 foolish, is to be seen at one view. 
 
 Tis here you will find the works of Racine, 
 Rousseau, and Voltaire exposed for sale at 
 the same book-stall with Piron, Gaudet, and 
 Lambert, and all indiscriminately advertised 
 at sevenpence halfpenny a volume. 'Tis here 
 
FRANCE. 31 
 
 you will see many an ingenious invention, for 
 which some pirate Englishman ha^just en- 
 tered a caveat, or perhaps taken out a patent, 
 rusty with age and worn out with use ; while 
 new ones spring up on all sides, faster than they 
 can be exported. Here, on one side, those 
 fools by profession, but wits by nature, the 
 Quacks or Conjurers, exercise their various 
 talents in the most uncouth dresses, before 
 their little tables, to the amusement of the 
 learned, and astonishment of the ignorant ; 
 while, on the other, the tortured monkey is 
 alternately shaved, drilled, and flogged by a 
 set of men, whose existence depends on 
 making be&sts of themselves, by making men 
 of their beasts. 
 
 On the Boulevards, age and its sad conse- 
 quences puts itself on a par with youth and 
 beauty, by walking the same esplanade. On 
 the Boulevards the illiterate raise themselves 
 to the literate, by standing at the same book- 
 stall ; while the wise lower themselves to the 
 foolish, by gaping at the same Quack. 
 
 Such, my dear Sir, is the unvarying round 
 which the Boulevards present ; and, having 
 drawn this faithful picture for you, I shall 
 leave you to judge if the sentiments of your 
 friend be worthy of a sensible man or not. 
 
32 LETTERS FROM 
 
 I send you a drawing of one of these 
 Quacks I have been speaking of, just as you 
 would see them dressed on the Boulevards. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
FRANCE. 33 
 
 LETTER XVII. 
 
 Hurley Street, 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 I do not see my friend so much in 
 error as you do. His expression is too strong ; 
 but, I can tell you, that, if anything could 
 bring me to France, it would be those very 
 book-stands on the Boulevards. I doat on 
 an old book as a fidler does on an old fiddle, 
 even if it have but two strings, for I love to 
 strum over one though half the leaves be gone. 
 Now Tom answer me one question. Tell 
 me candidly, do you think I could put up with 
 France and the French long enough just to 
 see the Louvre and look over all these book- 
 stands ; that is, if I should ever think of pas- 
 sing thro' France on my way to Italy ; that is, 
 if I should ever think of going to Italy. Good 
 by Tom. — Write me very soon. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY, 
 
 D 
 
LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER XVIII. 
 
 Paris. 
 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 You have no idea what a very small 
 portion of philosophy will enable you to put 
 up with all that you will have to encounter 
 in a trip to Paris ; and it would really be a 
 pity for one, who is so fond of the arts and 
 sciences, not to avail himself of this opportu- 
 nity of seeing a country, which another war 
 may prevent his ever visiting. 
 
 What matters it whether you go to Italy or 
 not. Pay your visit to the Louvre and the 
 book-stands in Paris and then you can talk 
 of the same amusements in Rome. 
 
 I am going for a few days to Orleans, to 
 see the Banks of the Loire ; and, on my re- 
 turn, I shall set off immediately for Calais, 
 where I shall expect to meet you. 
 
 If I remember right, I sent you a sketch of 
 a post-boy some time ago. That was taken in 
 the country, but the enclosed is the fac-simile 
 of one who took me to St. Cloud from Paris ; 
 and is, you see, a much more natty fellow. 
 
FRANCE. 03 
 
 His pigtail, from the quantum of pomatum in 
 it, and ribband round it, I should compute to 
 weigh about one pound avoirdupois ; but his 
 boots, which are framed of wood, leather, and 
 iron, I know to weigh only twenty-eight 
 pounds, for I had the curiosity to weigh them. 
 On my asking him the reason of his wearing 
 such, he replied, " On ne saute pas;" and, 
 on my further query if that were the only 
 reason, he answered, " On ne casse pas Us 
 jambes;" but he evidently considered his first 
 reason the more cogent one, and it is certain 
 that these great weights on their legs do most 
 effectually keep them from what we call bump- 
 ing in their saddles. 
 
 Do write soon, and tell me on what day I 
 shall meet you at Calais. 
 
 I will write you from Orleans. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
 D 2 
 
36 LETTERS FROM 
 
 LETTER XIX. 
 
 Harley Street. 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 Why you write to me as if all was 
 settled ; or, in other words, as if I were not a 
 married man. You must know I have not said 
 a word to Lady Crusticorn, and therefore can- 
 not answer your letter positively yet. 
 
 Don't quote French lingo to me again. 
 
 We are all in a roar in the city, about the 
 Corn Laws. I have not asked what it means 
 yet, but petitions have been lying on our 
 tables at the Mansion House for signatures 
 ever since Monday last. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICORN QUERY. 
 
FRANCE. 37 
 
 LETTER XX. 
 
 Orleans. 
 
 MY DEAR UNCLE, 
 
 We arrived here yesterday; and, as 
 all travellers must tell when, what, and where 
 they eat ; after a hearty breakfast at the 
 " Golden Ball" of veal cutlets, bread, fruit, 
 and wine ; I, as all travellers must go to see 
 churches and cathedrals, went to look at the 
 celebrated one in the centre of this city. I 
 reached the place or square before the cathe- 
 dral, but here my progress was impeded by 
 a scene which curiosity could not resist stop- 
 ping to witness. 
 
 On one side stood a man and woman, each 
 elevated on a stool, with a sheet of scriptural 
 pictures behind them, in the midst of which 
 Our Saviour crucified was the most conspicu- 
 ous. The woman sung the sacred history to 
 which they related, while the man accompa- 
 nied her on the violin, occasionally using his 
 bow as an index to the most impressive parts 
 of the pictures. 
 
 On the left of this groupe was another of a 
 
38 LETTERS FROM 
 
 similar nature chanting before a wax model of 
 the Virgin Mary and Infant Jesus, accompa- 
 nied by a tambourine and flute, and all under 
 the canopy of an enormous family umbrella of 
 about eight feet diameter. Between these two, 
 and exactly in front of the cathedral door, sat 
 a lady astride upon a large black horse, a large 
 thonged whip hung over her shoulders, and 
 her heels ornamented with a pair of silver 
 spurs. She had a small blue valise, and a 
 red umbrella strapt on to the back of her sad- 
 dle, and before a wooden box of philosophical 
 instruments. This lady held in her hand a 
 powerful magnet and an iron dish, and deli- 
 vered a lecture on the attractive powers of the 
 one, and the adhesive properties of the other, 
 to a gaping crowd ; who if they could not de- 
 rive amusement from the fair Philosopher's 
 discourse, were still detained by a second 
 loadstone which she held in reserve. This 
 was neither more nor less than music ; for, in 
 front of this equestrian lecturer, stood a 
 breechless urchin, whose diminutive stature 
 was almost entirely screened by the rotundity 
 of a huge bass drum ; and, of him, it might 
 truly be said that 
 
 - " Ever and anon he beat 
 " The doubling drum with furious heat," 
 

FRANCE. 39 
 
 to fill up the intervals of harangue ; and this, 
 when philosophy failed, often detained the 
 steps of the departing youth, who had scarcely 
 made up his mind to quit before he was again 
 nailed to the spot by the heavenly voice of the 
 drum; for music is a Frenchman's antidote; 
 and the huxter who, with a hunting horn or a 
 fiddle to sound before he spoke, might sell all 
 he had in an hour, would wander through 
 Paris for a day, without it, and not sell an ar- 
 ticle. 
 
 To-morrow I proceed to Tours, and thence 
 in a few days back to Paris, where I shall ex- 
 pect to find your reply to my last, and a day 
 appointed for me to meet you at Calais. 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THO. SEEBRIGHT. 
 
40 LETTERS FROM FRANCE. 
 
 LETTER XXI. 
 
 Harley Street. 
 
 DEAR TOM, 
 
 I have spoken to Lady Crusti; and, 
 on Monday next, I shall leave the peaceful 
 serenity of the sensible British Metropolis to 
 seek the noisy tumult of the frivolous French 
 one. 
 
 Yours, 
 
 CRUSTICOKN QUERY. 
 
 P.S. Yesterday the Corn Mob knocked 
 Lord D.'s and Mr. R.'s houses about their 
 ears ; and, last evening, pulled several Mem- 
 bers of the Commons out of their carriages by 
 
 the collar, Mr. C r of the Admiralty was 
 
 among the number. 
 
 N. B. I shall not travel with arms as I am 
 told France is in a state of perfect tranquility 
 at present. 
 
DESCRIPTION OF THE PLATES. 
 
 The Author, aware that to some of his readers the 
 Plates will be much more interesting than the Letter-press, 
 and fearing they are not sufficiently explained in the Letters, 
 has added this slight Description of them, which he feels 
 will be necessary to those who have not been eye-witnesses 
 to the scenes they represent; and takes this opportunity of 
 assuring the Public that the drawings are not caricatures, 
 but only characteristic illustrations, as neither the Jack-boots 
 of the Postboys, the Bonnets of the Ladies, or the clumsi- 
 ness of the Carriages represented, anywhere exceed the pro- 
 portions of the reality, though generally copied from its 
 extremes. 
 
 PLATE I. To face the Title Page. 
 Is a mere political satire, by the play on the words " Chas- 
 seur d pied." The frame on the child's back is such as the 
 Porters in Paris carry goods on. 
 
 PLATE II. Page 4. 
 
 Represents the dress of the Pilots at Havre de Grace, with 
 the silver anchor on the breast, given them by Government, 
 as a badge of their office. 
 
 PLATE III. Page 8. 
 
 A French Diligence changing horses, with the Conducteur 
 on the top arranging the luggage. This plate represents the 
 
42 DESCRIPTION OF 
 
 pavee and chaussee, which is the general form of the roads 
 within two hundred miles of Paris, and in many parts of 
 France. The middle seat of the Diligence sometimes rests 
 on the side of the door ; which, when opened, generally oc- 
 casions the seat to fall. The Diligence in the distance gives 
 a very accurate idea of their general effect when passing 
 along the road. 
 
 PLATE IV. Page 16. 
 
 This plate is sufficiently explained in the letters, to which 
 we refer our readers. 
 
 PLATE V. Page 20. 
 
 A French Lady, with her bonnet tied comme ilfaut. She 
 is stepping over the ruisseau, as it is termed, or gutter in the 
 centre of the street; which, when it rains, becomes of no in- 
 considerable magnitude, and is often overlaid by a plank 
 placed by a little urchin, who expects a Hard for the accom- 
 modation. Two Englishmen are seen in the distance. The 
 military hat of the one forms a striking contrast with the 
 French one in Plate III. while the low collar of the other is 
 
 no less opposed to the collar in Plate VI. A French Lady 
 
 had rather splash her stockings than her petticoat or gown. — 
 La chaine d'or serve de Porte-clef. 
 
 PLATE VI. Page 24. 
 
 A French Gentleman, with his hair tout a fait d la mode, 
 traversing the Place Vendome. His poodle dog carries his 
 stick ; and, though it is a misling rain, his hat is au bras. — 
 When you draw a Frenchman mind that his hands are well 
 crammed into his pockets. 
 
 PLATE VII. Page 28. 
 A Pot de Chambre under the walls of the Thuillerie Gar- 
 
THE PLATES. 43 
 
 dens loading for Versailles. — " Un bon cheval Anglois, 
 Monsieur!" 
 
 PLATE VIII. Page 32. 
 
 A French Conjuror and his assistant; with a horn, so held 
 by a cord that leads to the top of his helmet that he can 
 play both horn and fiddle at the same time; taken from life 
 near the Place de Carousel. 
 
 PLATE IX. Page 34. 
 A French Postilion. The portrait of one who drove the 
 Author out of Paris. 
 
 PLATE X. Page 38. 
 A French equestrian Lady Philosopher. 
 
 N. B. The Author is sorry to be under the necessity of 
 confessing that, owing to a slight error on the part of the 
 Engraver, the right boot of the Postilion in Plate IX. is 
 somewhat exaggerated ; the left he believes does not exceed 
 the bounds of truth. 
 
 J. Hill, Printer, , 
 Huishi Court, Water Lane, Black Friars, Loudon. 
 
Mr '08