f you wish a Comic Soup that will pleape every one, send for a copy of 
 ~ = = J That Little Black mustache, i = = - 
 iiv James M. Dow. Priee, 30 cents. Sold by all music dealers. 
 
 AMES' SERIES OF 
 
 STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, 
 j-pS(,3 NO. HI. 
 
 z^F^B^r- 
 
 YANKEE DUELIST 
 
 WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS 
 OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COS- 
 TUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, . 
 AS PERFORMED AT THE PRINCIPAL 
 AMERICAN AND ENGLISH 
 THEATRES. 
 
 Catalogues of ALL PUBLISH ED PLAYS od receipt of 3 'cent stamp. 
 
AMES' SERIES OF ACTESTG PLAYS. 
 
 PRICB FIFTEEN CENTS EACH. CATALOGUES FREE. 
 
 HO. If. F. 
 
 12 A Capital Match, farce, 1 act, by J. M. Morton 3 2 
 
 30 A Day Well Spent, farce, 1 act. by John Oxenford 7 5 
 
 2 A Desperate Game, comic drama, 1 act, by Morton 3 2 
 
 75 Adrift, temp drama, 3 acts, by C. W. Bibcock, M. D 6 4 
 
 80 Alarmingly Suspicious, eomrdietta, 1 act, J. P. Simpson. ..4 3 
 
 39 A Life's Revenge, drama, 3 nets, by \V. E. Suter 7 5 
 
 78 An Awful Criminal, farce, 1 act, by J. Palerave Simpson. ..3 3 
 
 15 An Unhappy Paw, cthiop'n farce, I act, by G. W. II. Griffin ..1 1 
 
 65 An Unwelcome ReUirn, com' intl'd, 1 act, by Goo. A. Munson 3 1 
 
 31 A Pet of the Public, farce, 1 act, by Edward Sterling 4 2 
 
 21 A Romantic Attachment, comed'tta, 1 act, by Arthur Wood. ..3 3 
 
 43 Arrah Defiaugh, drama, 5 acts, by F. C. Kinnaman 7 o 
 
 78 At Last, temperance drama, 3 nets, l>v G. C. V»uitrot 7 1 
 
 20 A Ticket of Leave, farce, 1 act, by Wattd Phillips S 2 
 
 100 Aurora Floyd, drama, 2 act, by W. E. Sutor 7 3 
 
 89 Beauty of Lyons, dom drama, 3 acts, by W. T. MoncriefK.il 2 
 
 8 Better Half, comedietta, 1 act, by T. J. Williams 5 2 
 
 98 Black Statue, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by C. White 3 2 
 
 113 Bill Detriek, melo drama, 3 acts, by A. Newton Field 6 4 
 
 86 Black vs White, farce, 1 act, by Geo. S. Van trot 4 2 
 
 14 Brigands of Calabria, rom drama, 1 act, W. E. Suter 6 1 
 
 22 Captain Smith, farce, 1 act, by E. Berrie :i 3 
 
 84 Cheek will Win, farce, 1 act, by W. E. Suter :i 
 
 49 Der two Surprises, dutch farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. CI i fton ..1 1 
 
 72 Deuce ia in Him, farce, 1 act, by 11. J. Raymond 5 1 
 
 19 Di.l I Dream it? farce, 1 act, by J. P. Wooler 4 3 
 
 42 Domestic Felicity, farce. 1 act, by Hattie L. Lambla 1 1 
 
 60 Driven to the Wall, play, 4 acts, by A. D. Ames io 3 
 
 27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend, ethiopean farce 2 
 
 13 Give me my Wife, farce, 1 act, by W. E. Suter 3 3 
 
 117 Hal Hazard, military drama, 4 acts, by Fred G. Andrews. ..8 3 
 
 50 Hamlet, tragedy, 5 acts, by Shakespeare 15 3 
 
 24 Hundy Andy, ethiopean farce, 1 act 2 
 
 bfi Hans, the Dutch J. P., dutch farce, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler. ..3 1 
 
 116 Hash, larce, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins 4 2 
 
 52 Henry Granden, drama, 3 acts, by Frank L. Bingham 11 8 
 
 17 Hints on Elocution mid how to become an Actor, 
 
 103 How Sister P. got Child Baptized, etho farce, 1 act, 2 1 
 
 76 How He Did It, comic drama, I act, by John Parry 3 2 
 
 74 How to tame Mother-in-law, farce, 1 act, by II. J. Byron. ..4 2 
 
 35 How Stout You're Getting, farce, 1 act, l>y J. M.Morton 5 2 
 
 26 Hunter of the Alps, drama, 1 act, by Win. Dimond 9 4 
 
 47 In the Wrong Box, etho farce, 1 act', by M. A. D. Clilton 3 
 
 95 In the Wrong Clothes, farce, 1 act, 5 3 
 
 77 Joe's Visit, etho farte, 1 act, hy A. Leaviti <fc U. Eagan 2 1 
 
 11 John Smith, farce, 1 act, by W. H.-ncock 5 3 
 
 99 Jumbo Jum, farce, I act 4 3 
 
 82 Killing Time, farce, 1 act 1 l 
 
 9 Lady Audley's Secret, drama, 2 act, by W. E. Suter 6 4 
 
 3 Lady of Lyons, drama, 5 acts, by Bulwer 12 5 
 
 104 Lost, temperance drama, 3 acts, by F. L. Culler 6 2 
 
 106 Lodgings for Two, comic sketch, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 3 
 
 ^S" Catalogue continued on next page of cover. 
 
THE YANKEE DUELIST, 
 
 AN ORIGINAL FARCE, 
 
 -BY- 
 
 A. NEWTOII FIEU>, 
 
 •AUTHOR OF- 
 
 Twain'a Dodging ; School ; Those Awful Boys ; Other People's Children 
 
 Reverses; Th6 New Magdalen; Bill Detrickj 
 
 The Pop- Corn Man ; etc., etc. 
 
 — M — 
 
 Printed from the author's original manuscript. 
 
 — M — 
 
 1VITH A DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES, CAST OF THE CHARACTi: 
 RET. ATI YE POSITION OF PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, ENTRANC:. 
 AND EXITS, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 
 
 As performed at the principal American and English Theatres* 
 
 Entered according to act of Congress in the year 1882, by 
 
 A. D. AMES, 
 in the office of the Libarian of Oongress, at Washington. 
 
 MM-0 ! 
 
 \ 2 
 
 $ CLYDE, OHIO, {- 
 
 A. D. AMES, PUBLISHER 
 
THE YANKEE DUELIST. 
 
 ^) 
 
 yt/ 
 
 i Y 
 
 A n 
 
 1 CAST OF CHARACTERS 
 
 -?- 
 
 A ? first performed at Clyde, Ohio, Thursday evening, December 29, 1381, 
 under the management of the aul 
 
 Ela,n Pfl ^ke, Alf ^ Fid ^ 
 
 Mr. Weatherton, {a landlord) , W. H. Arhn. 
 
 Amanda ' {his mice) AlheB. Field. 
 
 Homer. r . „ , 
 
 ■ -Louis Hocke, jr. 
 
 Costumes Modern. 
 
 —PROPERTIES— 
 
 Brace Pistols, Satchel, Cane, 2 Letters, Bottle and Glass, Lar-e Hotel 
 Register, Table, Two Chairs, Dkmer Sell. a 
 
 liiiie of representative— 30 minutes. 
 
The Yankee Duelist. 
 
 SCENE I.—Strcet. 
 Enter Mr. Weather ton, L. 
 
 Mr W. (as he enters) Look after the trunks and boxes, Homer, and get 
 them in as soon as possible. 
 
 Amanda, (outside) Yes. And Homer, that band-box is mine, and that 
 shawl, and those two small trunks, and that large one, and you must be 
 sure and not get any of those small boxes broken, for my best seaside hat 
 is iii that one, and those little boxes are full of my French candies, be 
 careful of them. Do you hear. 
 
 Enter Amanda, L. 
 
 Aman. Oh dear, one's baggage destroys the pleasure of traveling. Don't 
 it, uncle ? 
 
 Mr W. Yes it Hoes, and thank heaven we are at home again. But do 
 you know, Amanda, I enjoyed my stay at the little village of Stillwater 
 better than I did our visit to either Lake George or Saratoga ! 
 
 Aman. Oh, yes, it was very well for you men who had your fishing and 
 billiards, and horses, but for poor me, the time would have been very 
 heavily on my hands if it haden't been for the comic stories of that Yan- 
 kee relic seeker. 
 
 Mr W. Yes, confound him find revolutionary flint lock, that he picked 
 up on the battlefield of Bemis Heights. Why be was always guessing. 
 He guessed at the number of bushels of oats in that field, and the probable 
 amount of corn in this one; guessed at the water power of the Hudson 
 river. In fact he was eternally and infernally guessing. 
 
 Aman. Yes, and uncle, he made another guess one day when you were 
 away! 
 
 Mr W. He did. And what was that? 
 
 Aman. Why, he guessed that he loved me. 
 
 Mr W. Well I always though the fellow was a fool. 
 
 Aman. Oh, no indeed, he was no such thing. 
 
 Mr W. Its good for him that I wasn't there ! 
 
 Aman. Oh, indeed, it would have done you no good, for he 'ain't a b*t 
 afraid of you. Why one day he said to : "Miss Amanda, don't you think 
 your uncle a little bit stuck up and starchy ?" 
 
 Mr W. (in a passion) Starchy indeed. Pooh! pooh! But thank 
 heaven we have got rid of him at last. When I was buying our tickets at 
 the steamboat c nice he cr.me rushing through the crowd and said to me 
 ' 'Going down the river?" said he. That is none of your business, said I. 
 "Maby it 'ain't, but where is the gal?" said he. She is in her state room, 
 I suppose, 1 said. With that he rushed through the crowd and I haven't 
 seen him since, and hope to heaven I never shall see him again. 
 ' Aman. Don't be to sure of that, uncle, for he knows you keep this hotel. 
 And who knows but he may come down and pay you a visit ! 
 
 Mr W. Well! well! Don't you be anticipating evil, but go to your 
 room and get yourself ready for dinner. 
 
4 THE YANKEE DUELIST. 
 
 Aman. Very well, uncle, I will wait for you in the break-fast room. 
 
 {exit, r. 
 
 Mr W. {looking at watch) Let me see, ten and one-half, time to shave 
 rm<l clenn myself u j >, and look over the books to see how much money the 
 bave knocked down during my absence. 
 
 i..) (yet out, yu tarnal oritter. I can carry up my own 
 baggage as well ;is vu ken. {walks on hurried!]/, runs against Mr. 17., lets 
 fall on stage, looks at bag then at Mr. 17) Look here, yu, du yu 
 see that ere thing down there, well that is full of the damdest putiest 
 things yu ever saw, ami if any on 'em is piled or damaged I'll make yu 
 pay for them. Blister my feathers if I dou't ! 
 
 Mr W. Well, sir, who are you ? 
 
 Elavi. Who he I ! Guess I be ! Who be you ? 
 
 Mr W. I tun landlord of this hotel. 
 
 E <nn. The very critter I want to see. Perhaps you can accommodate me 
 fur a day or two. 
 
 Mr IV. No sir, I can't. I am sorry that all my rooms are engaged. 
 
 El am. Wal neow, that is jest what they told me comin' down on the 
 steamboat last night. They promised me a half a bunk along with a fat 
 feller, but he got in ahead of me and then there wa'nt no room left. Now 
 heow du yu suppose I got a bunk on board that boat. 
 
 Mr IT. Why, how should I know. 
 
 Elam. Thai's so, how should you ! But, sir, you couldn't guess if you 
 were to guess till next new moon. But when I was a leavin' hum dad says, 
 says he: "Elam, through all your perigrinations through this earth, alius 
 remember that desprit deseases require desprit remedies." Now how du 
 yu suppose I got a bed aboard that ere. boat? 
 
 Mr W. I can't say, I'm sure! 
 
 Elam. Well, sir, about 12 o'clock — I don't know exactly as I didn't look 
 at my watch — might a been half arter eleven, or a few minutes arter 
 twelve, but call it half arter twelve, I got out into the middle on the cabin 
 floor and I hollered fire like old flugen. Yu'd orter seen those passengers 
 turn out belter skelter, pellmell, one on top o' tother. Well, arter they 
 had all turned out why I turned in, and I should have slep pretty well, 
 tu, if it hadn't been fur the rattlin' of the pots and kettles down in the 
 cellar of the boat. But I see how it is, you wan't a weeks pay in advance, 
 here it is, a new five dollar gold piece. 
 
 Mr W. Well, that's brass. 
 
 Elam. No, sir, its the genuine spelter. I got it eout uv the bank at 
 Skowhegan jest afore I left hum. 
 
 Mr IT. Do you know, sir, since I look at you again, that I believe I 
 have seen you before. 
 
 Elam. Neow you see me in front. How du yu like it? 
 
 Mr W. You came down the river on the steamer last night? 
 
 Elam. I believe I was around when that boat started ! 
 
 Mr W. And do you remember a little conversation we had on board 
 that boat? 
 
 Elam. What about, the gal ? 
 
 Mr W. Yes, about the girl. Now, sir, you must know that she is at 
 present staying in this house, resting for awhile beneath the parental 
 tree, as it were, and if I hear of your ever speaking to her one loving 
 breathing syllable, I'll call you out I 
 
 Elam. Call me out ! 
 
 Mr W. Yes sir, call you out! 
 
 Elam, But suppose I don't go out ! 
 
 Mr W. Then I'll post you around on the street corners as a coward; 
 
 Elam. Well, 'squire, I'd hate the darndest of all livin' endurin' things 
 tu be posted 'round as a coward, but ef that ere gal loves me as well as I 
 Ihink she does, it is my intention to court her considerable I 
 
 Mr W. {fuming) What is that, sir? 
 
THE YANKEE DUELIST. 5 
 
 Elam. If she likes it as well as I du I'll sit up all fired late with that 
 gal. Roll me into pig-iron if I don't! 
 
 Mr W. And do you know, sir, what will follow? 
 
 Elam. Marriage, I calculate. 
 
 Mr W. (in a passion) We'll see, sir ! We'll see I (exit, R 
 
 Elam. Now that old fellers gone off at half-cock. I wonder where that 
 ere gal is, she come down on the same steamboat along o' me la3t night ; 
 and once as I was apassin' by where she sot she dropped her hankerchief, 
 and I stooped down and gin it tu her, and oh ! Godfrey's cordial heow I 
 did blush. But these ere gals are all on 'em alike, they lite up a feller 
 with a blaze like a sky rocket and then leave him to wilt down like a cab- 
 bage leaf in June. (bell rings outside 
 
 Elam. (picks up his satchel and listens) "Ancient and venerable sound, 
 I love you." That's the grub hammer ! (exit, e. 
 
 SCENE II. — Plain interior, table at back, a, chair on each side of table, 
 Mr. W. discovered looking over register. 
 
 Mr W. How pleasant it is after being tossed upon the tempestuous bil- 
 lows of this wicked world, to find oneself snug and comfortable at home. I 
 find the clerks have done well, yet they're awful fellows, these hotel 
 clerks. Let me see how my rooms are filled up — 
 
 Enter Elam, r. 2 e. 
 
 — No. 1, Amanda; No. 2, hired girl; No. 3, Mr. Hodgins and wife; No. 4, 
 Mr. Snodgrass and family; No. 5, stranger; No. 6, ditto; No. 7, ditto ; No. 
 8, ditto. 
 
 Elam. (aside) I wonder if all them dittos come down on the steamboat 
 last night. There was a lot, uv fellers thet sed they come from Kansas, 
 and I dunno but their names was ditto. 
 
 Mr W. Now that is indeed encouraging, to come home and find every- 
 thing full. 
 
 Elam. That's heow landlords usually like tu be — full. 
 
 Mr W. I feel so good natured that I think I'll take a little of my old 
 favorite beverage, some gin and sugar. (pours out liquor into glass 
 
 Elam. He's human, any heow ! 
 
 • Mr W. Pshaw, that glass is filthy, dirty, confound the girl ! 
 
 (sets glass to other side of table, pours out more liquor into second glass 
 
 Elam. "lis a little nasty, but I guess I ken worry it down 1 (Mr. W. i$ 
 just going to drink when Elam says) Here's luck, old feller! 
 
 Mr W. Well, sir, this is what I call pretty thin ! 
 
 Elam. It is a little thin, I guess. You must hev put some water into it, 
 didn't you? 
 
 Mr W. Get out of mv house, sir ! 
 
 Elam. No, sir, your livin' suits me too well ! 
 
 Mr W. Get out of my house! 
 
 Elam. Say, 'squire, "hold on a minute. Where do all the people lodge 
 that live in this houee? 
 
 Mr W. In their beds, I suppose! 
 
 Elam. Yes, but where does that gal lodge ? 
 
 Mr W. That is none of your business, sir ! None of your business ! 
 
 Elam. Maybe it 'ain't, maybe it 'ain't. But as dad says : "You can't 
 tell about tha't until you've meddled with it a little smudger. 
 
 Mr W. Now get out of my house ! 
 
 • Elam. Come, old feller, don't get riled! 
 Mr W. Come, get out! 
 
 Elam. What, git, vambozzle? 
 
 ;' Mr W. Yes sir, go! 
 
 1 Elam. I like the way yu du'things tu well tu leave yu yet. 
 
 Mr W. Then sir, you'll hear from me. (exit, l. 
 
6 THE YANKEE DUELIST. 
 
 Elam. He's just about as mad as they make 'em, but if he waits till it 
 freezes he'll cool down, {takes out letter) I've been writing the jove fire- 
 rlcst love tu that gal as ever was endured in a free country- I wonder 
 which room Bhe Bleeps in, it's either No. 1 or No. 2. Well, "here goes for 
 No. 2, let the consequences be what they will. I recken she'll hev tu wilt 
 when she gets that. (throws letter out, l. 3 e. 
 
 Enter Amanda, B. 2 E. 
 
 A man. Oh, excuse, me sir! 
 
 (bows, Elam bows two or three times, Amanda answering each 
 
 Elam. Miss Amanda, I believe? (botes 
 
 Avian. And you are Mr. Pancake? (bows 
 
 Elam. Elam ! Elam ! ef you'd jest as liv'. 
 
 Avian. I suppose you are waiting to see my uncle ! I'll call him. 
 
 Elam. Oh, sit deown, sit deown ! (Amanda sits) Maby since you're here 
 you'd jest as soon have a little spell o' talk along o' me ! 
 
 Avian. Talk to you ? 
 
 Elam. Yes, about your uncle. You came deown on the same steam- 
 boat along o' me last night? 
 
 Avian. Yes, sir, I believe we did. 
 
 Elam. Heow did you sleep aboard that ere boat? 
 
 Aman. Oh, I slept very well. 
 
 Elam. Well, I should tu ef it hadn't been for the bed bugs and cock- 
 roaches ! 
 
 AnMn. (rising) Well, if that is all you have to say I had better retire ! 
 
 Elam. Oh, sit deown! sit deown! I ain't half through talking tu yu 
 abeout your uncle. 
 . Avian. Well, what about my uncle? 
 
 Elam. Your uncle says that ef he ever catches me a speakin' tu yu one 
 livia' breathin' syllable he'll call me out ! 
 
 Aman. But you'll not surely fight with him ? 
 
 Elam. I don't know I'm considerably agitated when I'm riled. Hev yu 
 any partioular regard fur the old critter? 
 
 Aman. The old critter! Why of course— is he not my uncle? 
 
 Eta?n. Why so he is, so he is. And when I saw yu two on board the 
 steamboat last n4ght I sed tu a feller who stud nigh me that I'd bet a 
 cookie thet yu two was bound together by some tie of consanjinnity. But 
 since yu hev a haukerin' regard fur him I'll shoot hkn as easy as I can. 
 
 Aman. Well, I must go now. 
 
 Elam. Miss, there is something else that is a laborin' on the upper part 
 of my disposition which I should like to promulgate ? 
 Avian. Sir? 
 Elam. Be yu engaged ? 
 
 Enter Mr, Weatherton, L. u. E. 
 
 Avian. Sir? 
 
 Elam. Be yu engaged tu be married now or at some future time? Furl 
 should like to marry yu myself. 
 
 Mr W. (has open letter in hand) Sir! I am your humble servant. 
 
 Elam. Remain so and I'll give yu seven dollars and a half a week. 
 
 Mr W. And you, miss. Are you not ashamed of yourself ? 
 
 Avian. No, sir! For he who so breaks into the privacy of a lady, de- 
 serves all you shall get— contempt— for so unwarrantable an intrusion. 
 
 (exit, r. 2 e. 
 
 Elam. (punching Mr. W. in the ribs) Don't yu feel a little streaked, 
 now ? 
 
 Mr W. (clearing his throat) Hem ! Say, sir, is that your writing ? 
 Elam. (aside) By chowder, I slung it into the wrong room, (aloud) 
 If anybody asks you tell 'em you don't know. 
 
THE YANKEE DUELIST. f 
 
 Mr W. Answer me eatagorically. Did you write that letter ? 
 
 Elam. Du yu think the feller that writ that could make ten dollars a 
 week over and above his board and washin.' ? 
 
 Mr W Answer me. Did you write that letter ? 
 
 Elam. [looks at letter) Well that looks— say that "p" has aswingin' long 
 tail ! 
 
 Mr W. Hang the 'pa tail. Did you write tbat letter ? 
 
 Warn. Well, lookin' at it as I do, it looks as near like my fist as any- 
 thing I ever saw. 
 
 Mr W. Then how dare you write such an epistle to my niece, or in fact 
 any member of my family? 
 
 Elam. Land of hope and blessed promise! Hev yu got a family? 
 
 Mr W. You shall find out. Remember, you shall hear from me. 
 
 (exit, r. 2 e 
 
 Elam. That's right, write occasionally, do. The old feller is on his 
 high horse neow sure enough. But by Jupiter that ere gal ha3 got me fur 
 all I'm worth, and she give the old feller a taste uv her temper before she 
 went out. I guess I've got her pretty well gone on me. By jingo, here 
 she comes. 
 
 Enter Amanda, l. 2 e. 
 
 Aman. Here's a letter, Mr. Pancake, that my uncle told me to deliver 
 to you immediately. 
 
 Elam. A letter for me. (opens letter) A challenge. 
 
 Aman. A challenge ? 
 
 Elam. Its a challenge, or I shouldn't say so. "Dear Sir — Meet me on 
 the other side of the river at day break. Pistols the weapons." By gum, 
 I must have a shootin' article uv some sort. (to Amanda) Tell him I 
 shall be on the spot at the given time, armed and equipped according to 
 the twenty- fourth article of war. 
 
 Aman. But surely, Mr. Pancake, you don't intend to fight him, do you ? 
 
 Elam. Well, Miss Amanda, I know, you see I hev a kind o' hankerin' 
 arter yu myself, and neow tu business. Let me see, yu will be worth 
 nigh on tu two thousand dollars when your uncle dies, that is if yu are 
 successful in collectin' all that in due? 
 
 Aman. Yes, sir, somewhere about that sum. 
 
 Elam. Well, I'll be putty well off myself when my aunt Hulda dies. 
 We took an inventory of her stock last year and found that she had two 
 acres of land out in Iowa, besides eighteen dollars in cash on hand, in 
 specie, and enough clothes, with prudent economy, to last her the space of 
 her natural life, that is ifit ain't spun eout too long. 
 
 Aman. But to return to our former conversation. 
 
 Elam. Oh yes, our former conversation. I'll go and get the minister 
 and we can do the job up in a trice. 
 
 Aman. By our former conversation, I mean that you have a challenge 
 that you got a duel to fight at day break in the morning. 
 
 Elam. Oh, that little affair yu mean. I thought that it was the more 
 serious affair of matrimony. 
 
 Aman. You will find this serious enough before you get through with 
 it. Here's my Uncle Billy gone away and left a pair of loaded pistols on 
 the parlor table. 
 
 Elam. The dangerous man, and little children a playing 'round jest as 
 like as not. 
 
 Avian. But, Mr. Pancake, consider my feelings, remember my love— 
 
 Elam. Oh ! well since yu love me as yu say yu du 
 
 Aman. Sir ! 
 
 Elam. Since it seems that I hev at last animated the muscles of your 
 bosom toward me, which vibrates sympathetically atween us— 
 
 Aman. But sir, you don't understand me. I mean 
 
8 THE YANKEE DUELIST. 
 
 Elam. Oh, cf yu hev been a je3tin with me I'll blow the old feller intu 
 the land of Nod. Intu the land of Nod he flies. 
 
 Aman. But, sir, I was thinking how you eould compromise the matter 
 before yon fight. He might ask your pardon, or you might ask his— 
 
 Elam. I ask his pardon? Yu don't know what you are talkin' about. 
 It is a wonder, at such an epithet as that, that all the old dead and buried 
 Pancakes of the Inst century and a half don't rize up from their graves and 
 say : "Elam ! Elam ! what are yu abeout?" 
 
 Aman. Well then, why not go and withdraw the bullets out of the 
 pistols and save one or both of yon from a terrible death. 
 
 Elam. That is putty good fer one uv yuer size. But wouldn't that be 
 what is called back in' out? 
 
 Aman. No, not at all. 
 
 Elam. Well neow, heow would it be fur yu tu go and take eout them 
 bullets. If I should be caught in there, they might think that I was a 
 trying to steal something. 
 
 Ainan. Very well, I'll do it ! {goes towards !.. u. K. 
 
 Elam. Hold on! What if yu were a little in favor uv savin' the old 
 man and lettin' me flicker, and yu left one uv them bullets in 
 
 Aman. Not for the world. (exit, L. u. E. 
 
 Elam. I'll trust her if I get blowed sky-high in a minute. 
 
 Enter Mr. Weatherio?i t r. u. e. 
 
 Mr W. Now, sir, take your choice. (presents two pistols 
 
 Elam. Them's pistols, ain't they? 
 Mr W. Take your choice, sir 1 
 
 Elam. Say, yu, is that silver on that un or only sham ? (takes pistol 
 
 Mr W. Now take your ground ! 
 Elam. Don't snarl or you'll take yourn. 
 Mr W. Now how shall we arrange this affair ? 
 Elam. Any way that suits yu, so long as there is no danger in it. 
 Mr W. Oh, I have it! You stand with your back to mine, at the 
 center here, then walk three paces, wheel and fire. 
 
 Elam. I stand to your back, march three paces, wheel and fire ? 
 Mr W. Yes. Are you ready ? 
 
 Mr. W. stands facing l. u. e., Elam gets behind him, facing same way close to 
 
 hem. 
 
 Elam. Turn on your axis ? 
 
 Mr W. (counting) One, two, three ! (turns around, Elam holds pistol 
 close to his face) What are you about? 
 Elam. I'm abeout to shoot ! 
 Mr W. Not that way, you must go the other way. Now ready 1 
 
 Uicy come to c, Elam has his back to Mr. W., but follows him backxoards as 
 he moves to l. u. e. 
 
 Elam. Open your flues and let her sliver. 
 
 Mr W. (counting) One, two, three ! (both turn at the same time, Elam 
 has pistol close to his face) What are yu at? 
 
 Elam. I'm at yu again ! 
 
 Mr W. (points r. I e.) March that way and count as you go. Now 
 ready. (they come to c, Mr. W. facing l. u. e., Elam facing B. 1 e. 
 
 Elam. Go on with your rat killin'. 
 
 Mr W. (counting) One, two, three 1 
 
 Elayn walks of, b. 1 e., Mr. W. rushes after him and brings him back by coat 
 
 collar. 
 
THE YANKEE DUELIST. 9 
 
 Elam. I counted nine, and would hev made it fifty ef yu hadn*fc stop- 
 ped me ! 
 
 Mr W. I see this must be arranged some other way. How shall we do it? 
 
 Elam. See here, 'squire, you seem mighty anxious. You stand up 
 there — (points l. t\ e.) — ami I'll stand here. (r. 1 e.) When I say three 
 let her sliver, but don't let her sliver before I say three or off goes your 
 belifry. Now, oue, two ! (aside) This is getting warm, (beckons) Say, 
 'squire, see here ? (Mr. W. comes down to him, he crosses feet and leans on 
 Mr. TV's, shoulder) Elder Peck observed in his afternoon discourse on last 
 Sabberday that it was the worst thing in nature tu 
 
 Mr W. {jerks away from him) Darn Elder Peck. Take your place ! 
 
 Elam. Yu darn Elder Peck, du yu. Whoever dams Elder Peck gets 
 shot! One, two, two and half, (aside) Thermometer is risin'. (aloud) 
 Say, 'squire, hev yu settled all yuer little accounts, made yuer will and so 
 forth ? 
 
 Mr W. Will you give the signal, or have me commit murder? 
 
 Elam. If there's a bullet in his pistol I'm a dead man. Farewell to 
 Mary Blain. Ready, one, two, three ! (Mr. W. shoots, Elam drops pistol 
 and slaps himself all over body, finally lays hands over his heart and looks at 
 audience) Right through the gizzard, I swow. (brushes off stage c, with 
 handkerchief) Say, old feller, if yu have killed me I'M lick you till yu 
 can't stand, (lays down) Write a letter down tu our folks and tell them 
 that I went off kinder percussion like. {lays still 
 
 Enter Amanda, R. 2 E. 
 
 Aman. Oh, uncle, what have yon done? 
 
 Mr W. (r. h.) I done something I'm sure I'll regret till the latest day . 
 of my life. 
 
 Aman. You have indeed. For you have killed the only man I ever 
 loved. (Elam groans 
 
 Mr W. You loved him then? 
 
 Aman. To be sure I did. (Elam groans 
 
 Mr W. And you would have married him ? 
 
 Aman. Of course I would. (cries — Elam groans very loud 
 
 Mr IV. Then I would give half my fortune and your hand if I could 
 bring that dead Yankee back to life! 
 
 Elam. {jumping up) I take you, by chowder ! 
 
 Mr W. Alive? 
 
 Elam. Yes, alive and kicking. And you can't back eout? 
 
 Mr W. No, Sir, I have no desire to. Take her, she is yours ! 
 
 Elavi. Throw yourself under my protection and yu'll not regret it till 
 the latest day of your life, that yu've made a pancake of yourself. 
 
 —CURTAIN.— 
 
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AMES' PLAYS,-CO]SrTINTnED. 
 
 NO. M. r. 
 
 46 Man and Wife, drama, 5 acta, by R. A. Webber 12 7 
 
 91 Michael Erie, drama, 2 acts, by Egerton Wilka 8 3 
 
 36 Miller of Derwent Water, drama, 3 acta, by E. Fitzball 5 2 
 
 83 Miachievoua Nigger, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by C. White...4 2 
 
 34 Mistletoe Bough, melo-drama, 2 acta, by C. Somerset 7 3 
 
 69 Mother'a Fool, farce, 1 act, by W. Heuri Wilkina 6 1 
 
 1 Mr. <fc Mrs. Pringle, farce, 1 act, by Don T. De Treuba Coaio.,7 2 
 
 23 My Heart'a in the Highlanda, farce, 1 act, 4 3 
 
 32 My Wile'a Relations, comedietta, 1 act, by Walter Gordon...4 4 
 90 No Cure No Pay, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by G. W. H. Griffin..3 1 
 
 61 Not as Deaf aa He Seems, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 
 
 37 Not so Bad After All, comedy, 3 acta, by Wybert Reeve 6 5 
 
 44 Obedience, comedietta, 1 act, by Hattie L. Lambla 1 2 
 
 81 Old Phil's Birthday, drama, 2 acta, by J. P. Wooler 5 2 
 
 33 On the Sly, farce, 1 act, by John Madison Morton 3 2 
 
 109 Other People's Children, etho farce, 1 act, by A. N. Field 3 2 
 
 85 Outcast's Wife, drama, 3 acta, by Colin H. Hazlewood 12 3 
 
 83 Out on the World, drama, 3 acts, 5 4 
 
 53 Out in the Streets, temp drama, 3 acts, by S. N. Cook 6 4 
 
 57 Paddy Miles' Boy, irish farce, 1 act, by James Pilgrim 5 2 
 
 29 Painter of Ghent, play, 1 act, by Douglass Jerrold 5 2 
 
 114 Passions, comedy, 4 acts, by F. Marmaduke Dey 8 4 
 
 18 Poacher's Doom, domestic drama, 3 acts, by A. D. Ames 8 3 
 
 51 Rescued, temperance drama. 2 acts, by 0. H. Gilbert 5 3 
 
 110 Reverses, domestic drama, 5 acta, by A. Newton Field 12 6 
 
 45 Rock Alien the Orphan, drama, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins..5 3 
 
 96 Rooms to Let without Board, ethiopean farce, ] act, 2 
 
 59 Saved, temperance sketch, 1 act, by Edwin Tardy..., 2 3 
 
 48 Schnap3, dutch farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. Clift'tou 1 1 
 
 107 School, ethiopean farce, I act, by A. Newton Field 5 
 
 115 S. H. A, M. Pinafore, burl'sq, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkina... 5 3 
 
 55 Somebody's Nobody^ farce, 1 act, by C. A. Maltby 3 2 
 
 94 Sixteen Thousand Years Ago, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 3 
 
 25 Sport with a Sportsman, ethiopean farce, I act, 2 
 
 79 Spy of Atlanta, military allegory, t> acts, by A. D. Ames... 14 3 
 
 92 Stage Struck Darkey, ethiopean farce, 1 act, ..2 1 
 
 10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 
 
 62 Ten Nights in a Bar Room, temperance drama, 5 acts, 7 3 
 
 64 That Boy Sam, etho farce, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 3 1 
 
 40 That Mvsterioua Bundle, farce, 1 act, by H. L. Lambla 2 2 
 
 38 The Bewitched Closet, sketch, 1 act, by H. L. Lambla 5 % 
 
 87 The Biter Bit, comedy, 2 acts, by Barham Livius 5 2 
 
 101 The Cumin? Man, farce, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkina 3 1 
 
 67 The False Friend, drama, 2 act, by Geo. S. Vautrot 6 1 
 
 97 The Fatal Blow, melo-drama, 2 acts, by Edward Fitzball. .7 1 
 
 93 The Gentleman in Black, drama, 2 act, W. H. Murry. 9 4 
 
 112 The New Magdalen, drama, pro 3 acts, by A. Newton Field. ..8 3 
 
 71 The Reward of Crime, drama, 2 acts, by W. Henri W.Ums..5 3 
 
 16 The Serf, tragedy, 5 acs, by R. Talbot 6 3 
 
 68 The Sham Professor, force, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 4 
 
 6 The Sludio, ethiopean farce, 1 act, :••;;:;;•: Z ° 
 
 102 Turn of the Tide, temp drama, 3 acts, by W. Heuri Wilkins...7 4 
 
 54 The Two T. J's, farce, 1 act, by Martin Beecher 4 I 
 
 $&~ Catalogue continued on last page of cover. -«^. 
 
AMES' PLAYS,-CONTINUED. 
 
 VO. M- F 
 
 7 The Vow of the Ornani, drama, 3 acta, by J. N.Gotthold 8 1 
 
 28 Thirty-three next Birthday, farce, 1 act, by M. Morton 4 2 
 
 118 Those Awful Boys, etho farce, 1 act, by A. Newton Field 5 
 
 63 Three Glasses « Day, tem dm, 2aete,by W. Henri Wilkins...4 2 
 
 105 Through Snow and Sunshine, drama, 5 nets, 6 4 
 
 4 Twain's Dodging, etho farce, 1 act, by A. Newton Field 3 1 
 
 5 When Women Weep, com'd'ta, 1 act, by J. N.Gotthold 3 2 
 
 56 Wooing Under Difficulties, farce, 1 act, by J. T. Douglass... 4 3 
 
 41 Won at Last, comedy drama, 3 acts, by Wybert Reeve 7 3 
 
 70 Which will he Marry, farce, 1 net, by Thos. E. Wilks 2 8 
 
 58 Wrecked, temperance drama, 2 acts, by A. D. Ames 9 3 
 
 111 Yankee Duelist, farce, 1 act, by A. Newton Field 2 2 
 
 PL EA SE READ CA BEFULL Y. 
 
 When remitting, send Post Office Order if possible, otherwise send 
 a Registered Letter, or Draft on New York. Small amounts may be 
 sent in. I, 2, or 3 eent postage stamps with but little risk. 
 
 Do not waste your own, and our time by asking us if we can send 
 you a certain play, but enclose your money, 15 cents per copy. If 
 it is published, we will send it, otherwise wo will notify you, and 
 you can instruct us to send something else, or return the money. 
 
 Please notice that we will not fill telegraph orders, and will not 
 send goods to any one C. O. D. 
 
 Our books may be ordered from any bookseller in the United 
 States and Canada. If you have trouble*however, in getting Ames' 
 Edition, send directly to us. 
 
 Amateur companies often have trouble in procuring Plays smiled 
 to their wants, ordering perhaps five dollars' worth before anything 
 suitable can he found. This can be avoided. Our list embraces Plays 
 suitable for all companies, and if our friends will write to us, stating 
 their requirements, we can suit them. Enclose 15 cents per copy 
 for as many sample copies as you wish, and a list of those you have 
 produced. State also the kind of Play desired, number of charac- 
 ters, etc. We will select and send samples by return mail. 
 
 We do not make any discount on a number of copies of books, 
 neither will we send Plays out to be returned if not suitable. 
 
 A complete Descriptive Catalogue will be sent free to any one on 
 application. Send a postal card with your address. 
 
 A. D. AMES, Pub., Clyde, Ohio. 
 ■ ■■■•■ 
 
 LIBRARY OF CONGREJ 
 
 017