PS 3505 .R94 07 1905 Copy 1 ■■-. ■•■■■ • ■'■."■•■■■ // **** ^ttt^ GROWE COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 0- RIG- IIM- A- TIONS. By ■[Hi IS JEFF. CROWE., AD. Lt. M FR VTERX \l. PUB'G & SUPPLY Co. Publishers, 1 1, t r. .it. Michigan, U. S V LIBRARY 01 CONGRFSS Twt Cnpi^< Received JUN 25 I906 ( £lass and Crosses 38 Home-Made Theology :;:i An Optimist Refrain 40 Don't Need to Worry Vbout That 41 The Chairman's Dream 42, 4:s The Vilest Sinner .... 4". Only a Cog in a Wheel 44 The Quarrel 4." Illustration 4i! Song of the City Lad 47 The Point of View IS Look Yourself in the Face 4" Just Forget 7.0 Words We Need Not Sa\ 51 Illustration 52 The Temple Builders ',.', When Your Feet Arc Slipping Away 54 From Our Own Correspondent V, Illustration 5(S The Man Who Posted Pictures on Our Fence. 57 The Man Behind tin- Gavel 58-511 A Hard wear Hat .",!' Cranx G0-C1 Good-Bve (ii JUST A BOOK OF MODEST RHYMES 'TIS TRUE. LET US HOPE A BOOK OF REASONS TOO. A FOREWORD. Most of the verses here submitted have not previously appeared in print. A few have appeared in metropolitan and society journals and have been re- ceived with Mich favorable comment that the author has been induced to have the collection published in this more substantial form. Lovers of obscure suggestion and hidden meanings will here find little to please their fancy, as the writer has endeavored to present the thoughts free from unnecessary verbiage and to keep the drapery of rhyme and rhythm subordinate t" clearness of expression. If any offering leaves with the reader a cheerful remembrance, emphasizes any worthy thought, or points any desirable moral, the object of the author will have been happily accomplished hi all who have encouraged our humble efforts with words of commenda- tion, and to all who still further encourage us. these originations are gratefully dedicated. The Author A fc* THE FLAGXOF THE FREE. There is no other flag like tile flag of the free In splendor it blazes over hilltop and tree, Its colors celestial in true harViony blend, Its perfect proportions grace ami symmetry lend, It reminds us of freedom, unionVind glory, Statesmen, warriors, heroes — triumphant the story— Of firm justice in peace, of kind n\ercy in war; The whole world must respect an\ must honor each star. Mast high or mountain high — over knd, over sea— There's no flag like "Old Glory," theXflag of the free There is no other flag like the flag orVthe free. The oppressed of all lands to its broaV shelter flee, Its wonderful story our hearts make ecst\tic, Exalting, inspiring, superb, emblematic, "lis a refuge, an anchor, a lifeboat, a slii L ^ Just as ample its folds as expanded its fiel God of Nations keep it free from blot or Vtain, Keep us worthy of it, make our duties plaif^ O'er vastness of empire, o'er vastness of sea, Uphold it. protect it — our flag of the free. WHEN MOTHER BRINGS HER PAINT PAILS OUT. She di it 'iii china nor niako any kind of views nd or sea, and portraits she never yet did eh But she i work, the benches and the chairs — Tubs, ■ ich the rainbow hares. eard of schools of art, of exhibitions and the like. But for genuine excitement our home you ought to strike In the- Spring or October days, but mind what you're about ( lr in trouble you'll get when Moth I'his must be painted azure-blue and that a gl I You dodge the painting all the day and think of il { pun a chair you dan- not sit until with hand you've tried ["o ee that the paint or varni h on it is surely dried, 1-or varnish like a brother sticks, and clothes of white or black Are not improved by red or bl running cross the back. 'I is not exactly funny but it puts the blues p, rout, 1 or you must keep your wits when mother brings her paint-pails out I hese shelves must lie a pearly-white, and those a russet-brown, (lie careful where you hang your li.it and never lay it down). rhose doors where thoughtless hand- have been must surely have a patch— mother's troubl ' for the color- never match. She winds up in the kitchen yard with things exposed to weather. (1 think the paint she uses there is remnants mixed together), ■ .11 inn-! smile and praise it all, ne'er criticize or pout, ire busy tunes when mother brings her paint-pails She d e n't ha thi w irk dear mother doi This making old things new again — she docs it all for us. .i hin il done would not to her the satisfaction give, rk for other- sin- will not care to live. b ith cold and white will lie upon Iter br> And mother, dearest mother, will have gone to well earned rest, And thinking thus we constant pray with fervency devout That mother dear may long Ik- spared and bring her paint-pail- i I in A PRESENT MINDED BADGER. He's a present-minded badger and he knows where he is at, He lias gone and joined the Orders he admires, He has many thousand brothers — sisters too — (just think of that) And good offices can have it he desires. He knows the power of Union — eacli for all and all for each. He know, tin- kindly grasp of frater's hand; He never fails the principles of brotherhood to teach, And for a brother's rights to nobly stand. Blue badge, black badge, badge of every hue; Come join the growing army (larger day by day); There's room for ev'ry worker (a place reserved for you i. Wear a badge lor your own dear sake and pay-your-waj He's a present-minded badger and be knows that he is right; IK' has figured out the profit and the cosl He's "in nun of brain and muscle trusting to inherent might. Who scorned to be fraternals and were lost. By tbi'. cosmopolitan army he's protected night and day 'Gainst fortune's freaks (as tickle as the wind). 'Gains! possible distress or want, and when he is called away They'll guard the dear ones he lias left behind Big badge, little badge, ev'ry size and style. Several million fraters drive despair away, Cutting down the almshouse, building up the home. Wear a badge for your dear ones' sake and pay-your-way He's a present-minded badger and has had to toe the mark Of discipline and observance of the laws; He has learned that plans and system are essential to good work And to uphold them is a worthy cause. This education politic — obedience to each rule — He ne'er forgets and loyalty maintains: He makes a better citizen (the lodge room is a school), He good government defends with hand and brains. Gold badge, silver badge, red and white and blue: Emblems that inspire (driving selfishness away). Ev'ry member doing the good we're pledged to do; Wear a badge for your Country's sake and pay-your-waj lie's a present minded badger and his head is full of signs — He knows a brother twenty yards away; He knows that business system with fraternity combines, And his share prompt and cheerful he doth pay. He knows it many dollars takes to relieve distress and death. That prompt relief oft saves from vice and sin : When demands are coming heaviest be newer growls a breath, Ills dollars help to let the sunshine in. Square badge, round badge, triangles, links and stars. Teaching wholesome lessons (truths that have come to stay). Broader far than creeds (leave no wounds or scars) ; Wear a badge for humanity's sake and pay-your-way Apologies to Rudyard Kipling. 11 ON DUTY AT SANTIAGO. The Min not yet had the Can ibean sea \nd the sweeping searchlights Hashed from the giant ships ni steel That sail beneath the bonnie flag that makes and keeps men tree. Si.!, inn the scene, and grand, on Cuban coast tl reveal, But grander yet the dari that early morning -aw Winn Sampson said, "lor seven fear!ess»volunteers 1 call. Who'll enti ! channel (from winch nunc may e'er withdraw i And -ink their ship beneath them and beyond yon I wall." Though many promptly offered to contest with death the name. To these eight intrepid Jackie-" is the glory and the tarn-. "Present for duty" Hobson, Montague, Kelly. Phillips, Murphy, Diegnan, Clausscn and Charet, They'll take her through unless they're crushed to jelly. Ne'er will they falter nor their trust forget. i in yonder towering cliff, gray, defiant Morro stands Each flanking headland bristling with guns that -weep the narrow course. In front, above, on cither side the enemy commands No battleship that entrance dares even attempt to force. Beyond those hills Spain'- steel-clad pride and hope securely rest. No game of bluff i- tin-, no play, no trick, no boyish lark. i heir chosen course a hundred deadly hidden mine- infest, Death shrieking through the air above, lurks in the watet dark. These peril- knowing only made their lip- more firmly set, No man e'er flinched, im quiver showed a semblano ol - "Present at call" — Hobson, Montague, Murph; Phillips, Kelly. Diegnan, Claussen and Charet, Eight gallant heroes of their country worthy, I lit ir n. line- and deed America will ne'er forget. 12 On Duty at Santiago. Straightway they undaunted steam toward the narrow course, N'c.r heed the storm of concentrated fire from monster guns. Shot following bursting shell in fast and furious force Blaze and crash! The very air an inferno soon becomes And yet the gallant crew rush on their perilous way Charmed must they be! Ne'er did Heaven more justly shields bestow. They swung and sunk their ship as she across the channel lay, And. dune their task, surrendered to the fierce and cruel foe. Through all the annals of the world of deeds with gun and sword Xo act this one approaching does history e'er record. "Absent cm duty" — Hobson, Montague. Murphy, Phillips. Diegnan, Kelly. Claussen and Charet. Eight Yankee lads, history-makers, nervy. Though a thousand dangers Jul their lives beset. NOTE. The attempt of Admiral Sampson to "bottle up" the Spanish squadron in Santiago har- bor included a plan to reach the open sea upon a raft but during the sinking of the slop the ropes became entangled, carrying the raft down with the ship. The crew took refuse under the raft, which stood at an angle projecting several feet above the water, and toey were thus by an accident protected from the fire of the forts. Had they succeeded in launching their raft they would probably a" have been destroyed. The attempt to blockade the channel, though not wholly successful, was sufficiently so to compel Cervera's fleet to pas., out in single tile m their effort to escape, thus making them easier prey. Plaudits for Lieut. Hobson have been beard on every hand but the men who shared the perils with him are never name.!. A little departure f*-om such unjust dtrorimfnatiOn is here submitted. 13 THE ODD FELLOWS' SAFEGUARD. 1. — vo Impulsive youth! if to success thou wouldst attain. Mark well thy course to all they ardor seeks to gain, And ere in manhood's path you tread, with jpirits free. d well the lessons Iearn'd, for future use to thee. Ambition loud doth pall, stern conflict seems but fun. All things look bright and fa me seems eas'ly won It mill in coming years tin- worth of Friendship's pow'r, 'Twill help you in the sunshine or in stormy hour. Whate'er thy station be, in palace or in cot, The warning heed, "Forget it not, forget it i II. — MANHOOD. Man in thy noble prime, 'mid earth's stern, ceaseless strife, The joys and sorrows, hopes and fears of life, Unev'n appears to thee the never ending fight, Foul vice and crime seem sure to triumph over right ; Fear not, but labor on and bravely strive and plan, Your duty do to God, and home and fellow man. Love linked with Truth will in the end put fraud to flight, Ev'n in this world it pays to always do the ri.^ht \\ hate'er thy station be, in palace or in cot, The warning heed, "Forget it not, — forget it not!" III. — OLD AGI And thou, gray sire, o'er whom old age comes swiftly on, Whose "trembling limbs" betoken sure thy setting sun, Whose life object battle is nearly won, or lost, Give us of thy wisdom ; — is the struggle worth the cost : What knowledge hath dear "experience" to thee brought? What "safeguard" found 'gainst "ills of life" thou long hast fought: Listen to the answer, both middle age and youth, "Practice in thy daily life Friendship, Love and Truth." Whate'er thy station be, in palace or in cot, This precept heed. "Forget it not, — forget it not!" NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE SUCCESS. From the heights of the ages The wise scholars and sages Have pointed out the way-- wc should follow Tho' many their quaint sayings, Their great preachings and prayings, Good to-day, yesterday and to-morrow, "Honors bring honors" and gain. "Money makes money" are plain But of all mottoes 1 freely confess There is nothing so truthful. Be it aged or youthful. As "There is nothing succeeds like success Till polished free from dirt and grime Ev'n gold or diamonds never shine. But burnished brass "attracts the passing eye," [■ r 'in carl> mi n'n till set c if sun "Fainl heart hath ne'er fair lady u i m " "Fools wait for the stream to cease flowing by," "Si nke while the nam is hot," we - i\ While the sun's shining "make your hay," Don't mope and hang out a sign of distress, If you wan for "boost" or "pull" Vimr cup of grief will be full, To succeed VOU must merit success, "Laugh and the" crowds will laugh, too, "Weep and you will weep" with few — The world soon tires of sorrow and moaning, So "never loosen your grip," But "keep a stiff upper lip," Singing is heard much further than groaning. The "crowd will follow the crowd," So "keep your bugle blown loud." "Merit wins," but only in its hest dress Tn the fierce "battle of life" Face "with courage the strife." You must to win make a show of success We are told that in I leaven "He that hath shall be given " We applaud the victor — the man who can boast — "There are no flies upon him." Full of "snap, vigor and vim," We abhor the vanquished and "h loo" the lost "God helps him most who helps himself." "Rack numbers stay upon the shelf," The world's ever ready the blessed to bless "Mills don't grind with water past." But "hustlers get there" at the last, For "There is nothing succeeds but success." 15 UNCLE BILLS ORTERM'BEEL "Yes, wife, I've done il this time, made the biggest kind o' ti Ye musn't do no kickin' fer it's most tor ye its's m | I've ti the old bay team, 'n wagon 'n some feed For sumthin' thai we old folks arc likely sure to need. Ye needn't look so skeered, !'vi been doin' nuthin' rash, i Asid class doth a row most sincerely enjoy, Quarrels amuse him like a child with a toy — i )h, the kicker, tile kicker, the kicker. When in liis glory he sings his old son-, Sustain him if right, but condemn him when wrong, Keep his class in the rear, just where they belong, Rebuffs ne'er will make their heads thicker. With this easy rule you are certain to win, If you have not begun, 'tis time to begin, It you wish to have peace, not turmoil and din, With the ki:ker, the kicker, the kicker. Now don't misunderstand or think that I mean 'I liuM true members who in all lodges are seen. \\ ho lor law and lor order always have been, May we ever have plenty such kickers. May they always stand firm, defending the right. For justice, and honor, and truth may they fight With such the great ( )rdcrs will grow in their might. Give us kickers, such kickers, such kickers. I mean those wdio kick for the fun that they find, Forgiting the promises made when they joined, For harmony's sake to be ever inclined. His highest aim seems to be a flaw picker. Let us therefore unite in compact so fast, Determined complete this vile habit to blast, 'Till the kicker-chronic's a thing of the past— ( )h, the kicker, the kicker, the kicki i 19 •NO DOUBT." All have met him. He's a rival of the man that knows it all His manner loud makes timid people wince; He says he's willing to be told, but his ire doth always fall On any who attempt to him convince. He heard of a society organizing in our town, And his eyes scintillated with glee, To the Secretary his application he promptly put down And laid with it the usual fee He said he knew "how things ought to be done an' what members ought to do," And "to even fill an office might decide." The Secretary smiling, said, "We're needing workers such as you, Our members less experienced to guide. We need you on our committees and our entertainment work, Our audits and our sick to visit, too. I shall note you are a worker and not disposed to shirk, We'll lay out work at once for you to do." "Oh, no," the quick reply, "Such work I leave for those more spry than me And younger. Tint is not my line." The Secretary smiling said: "Ah then, your specialty, 1 see. Is field work — new members-- that is tine" The applicant shook his head. "Oh, no, 1 have no time to spare For gettin' members X", indeed." "Then what on earth," the Secretary said, "do you deem your share Of labor in the work such Orders need?" The answer came: "Oh. 1 can criticize an' keep 'em runnin' right, They call me 'an objector' down our way; An' if things don't suit my notions I ran put up quite a fight, An' when I join a lodge I stick an' stay. Those who alius want to run things don't like my ways an' greet- ing — A good objector's sure to weed 'em out, After a while they get tired an' stay away from all the meetin's "_ The Secretary groaned and said, "No I liTKl" OUR FLAG O'ER EVERY SCHOOL-HOUSE. Raise our flag o'er ev'ry sclioolhouse; let it float upon the breeze; Sing aloud the "Spangled Banner" as it rises o'er the trees Tell the children all in story, on the land and on the sea — 'I hat it-, prt names are "Old Glory" and "The Banner of the Free;" That its red should e'er remind us of the blood by heroes shed Who for it fought on land and sea and knew not fear where duty led. 'I hat its white our faith should strengthen that our cause is right ami just, And no monarch e'er shall rule its but the God in whom we trust. That its blue fm- truth eternal, like the azure sky above, E'er should, keep us true and loyal, and our Nation's honor love. Its stars dispel oppression's night, and must prove to all who see Thai the people can be trusted with the boon of liberty. Its stripes mean justice, one to fall on all assailing foes. It waves proudly, bold, defying all who dare its power oppose Raise our flag o'er ev'ry sclioolhouse, 'mid Northern pine and Southern bloom, 'Mid prairies broad and "Rockies" grand, the sclioolhouse brings the outlaw'- doom Keep the flag and school united o'er wondrous west with wealth untold. Let tropic sun o'er isles of ocean garnish it with gleams oi gold. Peach 'neath schoolhousi flag the truths that make us ureal and keep us free — Ihat the door of power is opened wide by education's low, That the blond red torch of anarchy must to the earth be hurled. While the white torch of true liberty enlightens all the world. And. gleaming bright o'er kind and sea. tin- flag of our great nation 'Twixt freemen everywhere shall be a bond, an exhortation Teach that worth alone is royal, teach that honor makes men great, And the humblest child maj grow to be a pillar of the State 'Bove all keep our banner of beauty, to it let homage be done, i he.r for our schools and our heroes, cheer for our "many in one'' Raise .air flag o'er ev'rv school house, let it llo.it upon the breeze, Tell the children ne'er to tyrants need the) ever bend the knees, hell them of the martyr'd host who gave their lues to prove it- worth. 'I he only flag that despots fear freedom's hope through all the earth, 1, oppresses neither sect nor race, schemes and plots u doth defy, In freedom's storm-tossed struggling ship 'n- a rainbow in the sky. Raise it high, 'mid spire and steeple, let it glisten in the sun; It has no spot of shame to hide in all its victories won Tell the children that it symbols a great Slate for ev'ry star. Tell them it- inspiring record in peace as well as cruel war. Tell them it is theirs to cherish, that its stars must never set. And in future they'll defend it, if need be with the bayonet Keep the flag on ev'ry sclioolhouse, with your ballot- it defend. Learning and freedom firmly join, then our Union ne'er shall end. •J I THE FELLOW WHO ROCKS THE BOAT. Of the ii tin battle i if life Who, shock and alarm us and involve us in strife I hci e maj fi ir mosl oi them be - imc little exi But i im ni anci worth; ol naught b ilings \\ nli sadness « e m ite ; In reckless abandon he much trouble will make, that lives are at stake, reams "t' his victims and appeals are in vain. With bravado he treats all advice with disdain — The fellow who rocks the 1 I n -i as i hi the vvati i The Rocker's fool methocfe we find hard to with lie spreads terror into clubs, lodges and chin IK'. endi mirches, i o\ i-r his work may g] Rockers differ from wreckers who mean to do harm. Rockers tail t.> see danger or cause for alarm. Win never in life we mil si trust our fellow man lie exhibits himself that's the evident plan, i n the fi ii '1 » ho rock- the 1' 'i- .Int. i from kickers who may honestly aim To alter some plan ami their opinions proclaim, Rockers' methods are brutal- -thej cavil and sneer, distrust ami bring danger alarmingly i Wnh faith n might be rem Little matters to him it' the sailing lie fair. i I] torm clouds fill our minds with deep dread and despair, And in dire ruin threaten our fortunes to . He rock^ agitates, desecrates, up to the last, The fiend who rocks the boat. ■ i - i , ; : i ■ i You in.i. with kicker^ who kicking find joy. may mercy receive e.v'n from wreckers lie ming belie. The t >e -t .ill g 1 that's a:! I lis boasting disguises the scorn of the mocker. 'Neath the m. - k ol the clowi thi gi n ol ker; Let not his self-assurance dissuade out alarm, p Freak) ferine u ho n icks the I 22 "HE EXHIBITS HIMSELF— THAT'S THE EVIDENT PLAN." •j:t WAITING FOR THE RETURNS. Yes, wife, I know you're worryin' 'cause it-- thund But I'll tell you all about n if you'll only patient wait. 1 lied an ovcrp.iui.rin' desire to know if we would win, So I've been down to the telegraph to hear the returns come in, You orter seen the people how they jostled an' they sh \s each report convinced 'em thai the others had bei 'Bove .ill tlu- fun a wave of solid patriotism floated Which made me feel so proud that I hed surely gone an' . First came news thai i p :d an' didn'l even raise a It gave some "scatterin' " figures an' said "everythin's in doubt." When 1 heard this 1 got discouraged at such onsartin news. All my courage fizzled an' my heart went plump into my For I'd figured how a host of us would rise up in our might An' would beal them cranky foes of ours completely out of sight. I wondered if it could possible be that we wen- in the wro \n' oui opponents be th n ue « i Then I determined come what might to our principles I'd cling. Even if most discouragin' news the lightenin' would bring; Foi I felt that this great people ne'er would demagogues believe, Nor would ever lei the lure-, o' crafty schemers them deceive. Soon came anothet telegram a strangely muddled story, Bui told o' "gains" upon the side o' honor an' o' glory. "We're gainin' on 'em." I forgot myself an' shouted, out aloud. An' the cry was quickly taken up an' carried thro' the crowd. \.gain I fell thai we were righl that was my firm conclusion — An' the others everlastin' wrong an' sure would meet confusion; Thai he who holds the fate o' nations in the hollow o' his hand Would again inspire the peopli to another glorious stand i the lightenin' message brought with it new exaltation. It sed we'd certain "gain'd the day both in the State an' Nation." At this the crowd brol e I : again, they fairly howl'd with joy; Vs for myself, I believe I capered as tho' 1 was a hoy l-oi an hour or more encouragin' reports did hustlin' come Till 1 lin'lly tore myself away an' made a break for hum; An' all the way to this 'ere door I heard that crowd a cheerin' — If telegrafin' don't let up they'll stay till day I'm fearin'. N'o\\ we can go to rest knowin' that there'll ri~e to-morrow's sun O'ei the "Battle o' the ballots" fought for righl an' nobly won. While we sleep there'll flash to all the world the story o' our g] O'ei many thousand miles o' land an' deep beneath the sea. Not in vain hcv' we been marchin'. no! in vain our banners waved; The great people hcv been heard from an' the Nation has been L'l VONDUNDER'S OBSERVATIONS. Dere's lots of tings so funny like ven 1 around me looks, Some tings, my poy, vol deachers don't egsplain in all your books Dese great "reforms" you dalks about und say ve sure must vin Are 'cause dose on iler outside vould reform dose vol vas in, Und veu you gets dot big reform und puts dose rascals oud De beeple find dey don't not know vot it vas all aboud, Den ven you on der inside got you soon vas de "whole ting," Und dose outside dey boint und say — "Dot machine vas sure a Ki A rich man does fool tings dey say "egcentric" he vas sure, IJut dey call it "crazy gone" ven dey know dot man vas poor. If a man's "gone up" ven he's "broke down" vich vas de vorst or most? A horse vas "fast" ven he runs quick, or ven tied tight to a post A man takes "nion" (somvon else's p'raps) und puys linn "shtocks" dat rise De beeple shmile und say it i.h "investment" sound unci vise; But ven dose shtocks drop oud of sight und he vishcs b evas dead, i lose beeple say t vas "gambling" und dey solem shook der bead A man's "infirm" ven be shaky vas und shtaggers all around A post's in linn only ven it vas solid in der ground; De business man's union ve call a "trust" for our subjection, lie vorkmgman' trust ve call a "union" for our protection. How can a man get "tight" ven In- vas of habits loose? If your girl vas "lectlc duck" how vas her sister von lag goose? A man shteals bread or shoes, 't vas "larceny" — to chad you see. ile shteals tousand tollars i vas "financeering" — be gov, free De "nuisance" It vas de ting vat de Oder feller does. But ven you does it den it vas de ting to cpnck egscuse, You make de noise, you block de shtreet, you try to slim. ike us black, But tink it vas an "outrage" ven you gel dot nuisance back. If you valks out de shtreet upon und go mit closed your eye You tink de horsemen should "look oud" Itnd dodge you safely py, But if you got dot auto-craze und fly der shtreets aboud I ><■ beeple all most shcatter or you'll knock der daylights oud It vos "sense" ven de oders tinks de same tings as does you. But 'tvas "nonsense" ven dey tinks some different tings to do; You call dem "vise" und "libral" ven on your side dey all be. But "crank" und "bigot" ven mid you dey dare to disagree Some day I'll take my ben nut ink und sits me quiet down My chin I puts upon my hand und on my face a frown, Und I writes a dictionary pook mit vords so hlainly seen. Ve den vill know, ven beeples shpeak, shust vot dose shpeaknis mean THE WORLD THAT'S RUN BY CHANCE. As I laid me down to rr-t on a sofl orious Summer day \nd -nulled the birds and the trees and flowers as I idled the hour away, 1 thought of the power that governs them all from thi IT, , seed time, rest, tl •'.< again— like : like tin- world wide over. In the shrubbj ] a i left that I never had seen bi With impulse trong I pri ed back the shrubs and a cavern expli A- 1 progressed the darkness denser than the blai night, Then without a glimmer of warning, flashed an intense, fiercelj blistering light; When my eyes to the glare had accustomed becomi 1 beheld fai things Than all the hobgoblin I childhood days to my vividest memory brings, Wierd, distorted vegetation, gnarled and sen e trees with - spread in the air ;raceful growths, no fragrant star like blooms, no symmetry — uglii y where . I looked in vain for the round topped trees, thi I and that delight the eye, i foi .: fl< i cloud or a bit of blue in the dull brown sky. "We creatures here." he said, "were mortal once in the world so fair you have left behind. We scoffed al the tl a creative powei of a God with omnipotent mind. \\Y learnedly talked of atoms, of ever changing matter, of nature's subtile laws. Forgetting th?l these force , i all, must have some harmonizing cause ; For our pervert • - ive have lure been sent and from iln- judgment that ordered so Can not appeal." "How long," 1 asked, "have you denizened been in this plao • ■! "I cannot tell." he said "Perhaps a thousand years. My guess then refuting, For in this syst^mless, hapless world there can be no means of time com- puting; ! we have clocks of crudest make they would lighten the v. f i iur \\ eat j life, Even gravitation is unstable and the elements at constant strife; We can have no machines -tram cannot be u-<-<\ -it explodes or lies dor- mant by turn-. And the water a- thm sometimes as vapor is sometimes so thick that it burns, en in vain to improve out lot hut nol a step can we advance l'ii rule, no law. no guide, no starting point in the World that's run by Chance " -V. The World That's Run by Chance. Groups of strange creatures soon appeared— though hideous each bore some mark of human birth And semblance of human grace. Some huddled in the trees, some gro\ eling "ii the earth, For mid these mam grotesque horrors- unbridled nature's mad conglom e rat mil — I saw no house, no shelter remotely fit tor meanest human habitation; Soi f the creatures had arms where legs should he. some hail eyes on top of the head, S, me had monstrous, misshaped mouths, others so small 'twas a mysterj how they were ted ; ( oarse, colorless clothes were careless thrown round their shapeless form? a pitei his sight : ["heir skins were black and yellow and blue, repulsively mottled and rarely white. Now approaches one more man-hke appearing than the others He speak? His manner learned, his language clear. He says: "I greet you, stranger from the outer world To bring your earthly body lure Von have fortunate been. We. coming in the sp,nt only, were compelled to take Such forms as chance might give, foul or grotesque, and hear Us burdens whether sleep or wake. The hormrs m view I sec you do not comprehend," he said, with harrowing glance ; This is the one hope- forsaken spot of the Universe— the World that run by Chance." As we wandered along ugly, grotesque forms on every side were seen. I he coarse masses of grass were black and red and white hut rareU .1 glimpse of green. Potatoes were sour, turnips m apple-trees growing, and apples beneath the ground ; Corn had cobs outside-like ashes within, tempting melons dry as cotton we found ; Here were chickens with heads of fishes, woolly swine, uncanny sheep and cattle Of distorted forms as if shattered and torn by the shot and shell of battle; Scraggy fruit of fetid odor— strangely marked were every shape excepting round ; XearK featherless birds, decrepid, dingy, more resembling reptile-, sang 1 inly a mournful sound. "But how do you know what to eat?" I said He replied "Each must tin. I as best he may For what is desirable food tomorrow may vilest poison he today. When we get sick we must get well again, though we have doctors learned 111 all the schools. No science of medicine ever could practiced he in a world that has no rules WE CANNOT DIE." lie uttered these startling words in tones of acutest sorrow "There is here no death! We must patient wait for what chance may bring tomorow." !7 The World That's Run by Chance. "Elei i we plenty liavi "but it will 1 1< >t observi rules, ely it shocks and cripples and burns all who attempt to control it w ith ti ids." Then the air grew black— darkness that could be felt that bl i m — \ii'I I cried aloud, My guide in tones assui "There is ' nan " That'- the way our sun does its -him for minutes time- man) daj 5. Vmi -ee why our tin be measured hut must ever remain in a maze \ day may lie minute- or months. Even the ground causes us trouble and H i .0 — The lake which you saw "n your right was a hill top only a few 1 Then came a crash terrific— a -hock appallii worlds had ru I her. 1 ) an electric storm," he said, "a happening of our capricious weatl ["was a- if wind .-iml lire ami water fur mastery vicious fought from far and wide. Bold stood mj guide, hut a lightning flash in dem >n f him shiek- ing from my side. Then above the groaning of the storm 1 heard a \ lice, awe-commanding and deep : — "Be ii"i deceived God i nol n i ked Whatsoevei man sows that shall he also reap " Fiercer raged the storm, raindrops scalding hot followed by hail anil snow in fury dashed ; Gravitati in seemed suspended — things movabli aii I .-ether ii shed. the ground upheaved and I felt myself thrown into a seeming bot- ti unless gap. \- I fell — 1 awoke and opened my eye- 1 had surely been taking a nap. In my hand I clutched a daisy fair ami a- I looked upon it- smiling face New beauty 1 saw in its commonplace form, perfect symmetry, harmony, grace; And I -aw I never before had known countless lessons of < >rder are fi Mind In the myriad things, freel; given to man. that everywhere abound. My eye- glanced up at a giant oak a hundred nun could stand 'neatl ample -h.nl,' . And 1 saw though it from an grew, it could grow only where i: was l.inl The trees and the vines, the beautiful birds, the smallest insect, the greatest man. Each bound by immutable, beneficent law; -in- grand, han - \ml I thankeil my i mil that I lived in a World of infinite rule- and a power Supreme : That my sojourn brief in the World of Chance was only a horrible dream. ABOUT DOGS. When I hear a dog at shadows a-barkin' an' a-bayin', i lr see a puppy with a rag or other trifle playin', A-tttmblin' like a baby an' silly jumpin' like a frog, Then T see there's lots o' childish human nature in a dog. When I se a dog jealous 'cause another dog is petted. An' kno' his mind with envy and hostility is fretted, I hen I think o 1 our own weaknesses — it gives my pride a jog, For I -ee so much reflected human nature in a dog. When I see a dog a-growlin' at everythin' in sight, A-snappin' an' a-snarlin' as tho' no one else had a right To live. I think 'twould lie proper if someone him should flog For there's too much o' cranky human nature in that dog. When I see a lazy dog a-loafin". round the livelong day An' a-rousin' seldom 'cept when to his meals he's called away, Like a man who lets tobacco or drugs his system clog. It's plain — there'-- l"ts o' shiftless human nature in that dog. When I see a dog a-seizin' all the plate o' meat an' hone. Grabbin' all the weaker fellows' share an' gobblin' o' his nun, It reminds me o' the stingyness o' some two-legged hog An' I see — there's lots o' selfish human nature in the dog. When I see a dog a-foll'rin' round a worthless kind <>' chap, A-rubbin' up agin his feet an' a sittin' in his lap. — A fellow whose main accomplishment is drinkin' bits o' grog. Then 1 see — there's lots o' (woman) human nature in the dog. When I see a dug stand by his master with unwav'rin' faith, Fightin' fur him. an' his property defendin' to the death. Then I think o' human heroes that have set the world agog An' I see — there's lots o' hero human nature in the dog \\ hen 1 s cc a mongrel dog whose pedigree is hopeless lost. Hut useful an' true as thoroughbreds who .if "bltte-bl i' might boast. An I know it isn't blood alone makes gentleman or "prog," hi n 1 -ee there's somethin' kin to human nature m the dug P'raps that is why we love him so an' for bis faults excuse him. Why some a close companion make an' others will abuse bun, A problem he. as strange as man — it to solve our brains befog, One thing we know— there's ad kinds o' human nature in the dog. a-) WHEN FATHER BRINGS THE HOSE OUT. When father brings the hose out and remarks, "The grass is dry," Tis th( b :ttei pai i of valoi foi • ind flj . For there's nothing makes us hustle in lliis, our humble home. Like father and that dreadful hose, its sputter and its i When father brings the hose out, then we begin to scatter, in dread ama i to learn just what's the matter. They wonder if our li ime's on fire o i >me horrid slaughter, Bui we tell them 'tis n<>t fire, jusl onlj hydrant water. When father brings the hose out, we barricade eacl And close up all the win low 01 ome rum we'll deplore, For when he stop, to wipe his brow, it comes, alas, He gets the watei everywhere except upon the grass. When father brings the hose out, then your rubber garments get, For the place you think the safest that place he'll surely wel If behind a wall you seek to protect your summer suit, That hose will surely find you out and 'round the c irner -hoot. When father brings the hosi nd an auto chuggeth damper i >n their i i a :e f r running I And when thej loudly protest you'll hear father calmly say, "Don't scool so fast that we can't see you when you rush out When father brings the hose out, then pedestrians receive A shower bath so plenteous you scarcely would believe. The knowing ones with care avoid the walk past our abode, And take the other side or else the middle of the road. When father brings the hose out, as the cyclists speedeth by, And father thoughtless turns around they get it in the eye. As up the road in terror they do swiftly disappear, They make remarks so horrid we stop Up every ear. When father brings the hos,- out, then neither you nor me U ill be safe within the cellar nor yet up in a tree We must speed like folks demented until w« safely find Deal father and the hose-pipe are a hundred yards behind. OR * T — ^— — CSnrr/rif "F( iR WHEN HE STOPS T< ) WIPE HIS BR( >W IT O »MES, A!. AS. ALAS.' •THE MACHINE. I'll not go to tnat lodge any more. Through the whole of t h<- incoming term; Yes, I've s.-ml much the same thing before But this time I'm determined and firm. 1 In lodge ain't what it mijfht to have been, Things ain't running quite proper and ri^li t . Foi the crowd that 1 call "the machine" Captured every office last nighf. They elected a man to the chair Who's a crank on "the law" and "the rule" (Like a schoolmaster acts, I declare, And the lodge like a dutiful school). The second man. he copies the first; He don't know quite so much about law, (I admit take his faults at the worst Mi work is done with hardly a flaw). The Secretary's quiet and -low. 'I hey say he'- an expert keeping hooks, And lie writes a fine hand, that I know. ((■in-- they elected him lor In- gi od loi ik- i. Their Treasurer's honest; his hooks are right. And our money we always can n.i I i I'.nt he'- no u-i- for debate in a tight — Rarely cm r is heard in a speech). And it' i • w ith all the offices Every one ha- some glaring fault. Spiti '■ all m> constant prophecies ivould make no change, nor call a halt. I Mi. yes; they're all good fellows and true. Brotherly, honest and lull of fun; But none of 'em know the whole li-l through. How -ii had ought to he run. I hold these machine-, these slati and rings \n mighty wrong and should he ovei thrown. Si i -' ime i if us i iise such things Put up an i iffii ei 5' list ol our own. our ticket e>it a lug heating. Nearly all of their people were there: e ours stayed away from the me< Looks to nie that they didn't much care So I'll stay away and let 'em get mixed (I want no office, that'- plain to he seen); But next election we'll have a -late fixed And knock out that unholy machine. "THE DEVIL." Yes, we believe in the devil, my friend. We surely, certainly do, Where misery, squalor and crime conteni I he devil abides there ti u i. He is dressed in colors of white and rod. Yellow, purple and brow n, He inspires to deeds of horror and dread. lie smothers the conscience down The gamblers' secret den, the outcasts' shun. The robbers' obscure retreat, All keep tins devil to nerve the arm And stead} the wavering feet He pi miise* help f< >r every ill. I le mask-, in the guise "I friend, But woe to the man with a weakened will- Bitter drees must drink in the end \".> place so sacred — no home so secure- That lie dares not enter there, Conquer young a id old— the rich and the I I is pit falls are ev'rywhere This devil of wine is cunning and shrewd. Of health ami pleasure he sings, When his victims' hopes are rosiesl lined Then disaster cruel brings. He offers support for the weak and lame— A staff that's reputed strong, But 'twill surely break and disease and maim If trusted too far or long. lie ne'er points to the end oi the journey long Asks only * me step at a time. (hilv mie step in the directum wrong — Step nearer the dirt and grime. We laugh at the antics his victims make. We laugh at the mind obscure. Tii protest we fail tin. ugh we know hearts break As cowards we calm endure I lien we pious pray and calmly think Of the words we might have -aid. While our brother's feet go over the brink ' I is to,, late when he's lust or d .:.; THE BEND IN THE ROAD bend in the road it al >^< ir1.~ them all • mis an endless pai Young and old, rich Disappear from view wl fade. id in the n \nd fi illi i« ing cli iselj I - behind Othei ei « nil quickening ; The fori Some arc forced to tramp in the noon-day glare, < )i- through rain and mire drag their wear] i ithi i lei ure take and enjoy the air Where laden with odor of blossoms - Some are free from burdens of grief or rare. Somi and stumble beneath their load, But whether a tramp or a millionaire, \ll di: appi ai 'n >und the bend in the n >ad S. ime ride in ci laches or on pi eed, With noise and clatter the) proudly dash, S e i in glil ti ring Uitos swiftlj speed, Come and ar<- gone like a meteor flash; Some with careless gait arc plodding al< I [esitate, falter and for others wait, mg like .1 rollicking song, Ne'i 1 think 1 if ruber timi faces an- drawn from worry and can 1 3 arc peaceful, set ■ mild, show want, some evil, in every -1 \nd in contrasl strong conic, a prattling How many have earned the things they possi How man 1 ed « here 1 ithers ha 1 Yet while we judge them perhaps wro All 1 'round the bend in the road. cred while i aud, em pleasure bent -< ime 1 m duty sad, Some crowding others, tho' the way is broad, I lere they come together — the k I and bad; Sen. follow content path- others have n Some scorning the ruts, make paths of their own. Some s.ck the sunshine some enjoj the shade. Some seel, companion- some travel alone; in helping others arc always tree, Some determined seem to crush others down. S hout and chatter with boisterous Some never smile, but have always a frown. Their virtues' Their failings? We ne'er may ki Some calm-appearing breasts arc grief's abode, Alike and unlike they conic and they All 1 round the bend in the road. Bend in the Road. Reflected we see in this bustle and strife This well-trampled road and dim-distant bend, The up-hill and down of the roadway of lift' — The rough spots and smooth, its ruts and its end. How motley the crowd that constant nunc-. <>n The hanker, the beggar, the wise and the fool, "lis hoped they've learned ere forever they're gone That "keep to the right" is the wisest rule. Let who follow hasten good deeds to do. And say the kind words we intended to say, l-'.re the ones to hear them have passed from view Round the bend in the road have faded away; Let us cast fair flowers by the road — not weeds, Let no cankerous evil our minds corrode. Let the truth be our Guide — inspire our deeds — For all must pass 'round the bend in the road. TELL US YE SCIENTISTS. tell us, ye scientists great and wise m we ask to adi Ye who have measured the sun and the Jupiter's moons and the mar!< [ars, Have made your charts of the heavens so high And know the comet's trail across the -kv. Ye ha , ered the earth with I steel, Taught the captive lightning your power to f< Ye speed o\ er the globe from - Talk under the sea — annihilate time, Our metals into thin liquids ye p: * n inti i e\ a h scent gas, And as wizards modern convert them then Hack to their forms original again ■ . tell us, >r scientists great and wis< — Perhaps your science can our faith surj Ye can analyze, crystallize and combine The products of field, of forest and n Classify drugs to cure every ill And brand things noxious that poison and kill. ttle learning makes ye pompous grow, i e seem t > forgi t how little ye know And much less how little ye undei The simples! things in the air or the land. Why does plant life constantly turn to the light} "Affinity." Yes, ye surely are right "Light draws them" Ml, y iat is also true. But why and how I i II us the secret. Praj tell us, ye scientists great and wise- tan ye not some better answer de i The more that ye learn the more ye must see What ignorant creatures all poor mortals be. We are asking knowledge- ye iur faith rebuke, Ye wis, i i i nave perhaps "beliefs" forsook. What is the power within the gentle shrub, \ii'l tell us how ii knows, (.Pray do not suulA- lliat light will stimulate to growth and bloom — I hat onl) weakness comes from out the gloom ? Til answer ye, we, like the groping vine, Will with "blind faith" reach for the light benign Will with "blind faith" reach for the light benign, \ml feeling sure that we are growing right. Our face, keep toward the glimmering light 36 DON'T CHEER, THE POOR DEVILS ARE DYING.' 'Tis o'er. The storm of shattering shot and shell Which on Spain'', famous boasted navy fell, That sought with vicious rush ami sudden dash The Yankee watchers to surprise and crash That Sunday morn the Spaniards did invoke [Tie -_r ■ > < I of war to tighten Cuba's yoke. That by sonic fate sore rum and defeat Should fall upon the hated Yankee licet. With blood each ship bedeck And make that historic Sunday morning To all who risking wreck. Would dare attempt to check- Spam's cruel course, a fearful warning. The long and patient looked for time had come. The sneer to meet — that we would soon succumb, That untried slups and tars of Yankee rare Skilled Imperial crews could never face. But Yankee gunners in their Sunday clothe-. Poured shot and shell into their foreign foe. And with appalling suddenness did sweep Each oppi sing ship into a helpless heap. Spain pompous — world defying — Hath lost. Swift storm of retribution o'er, I Icr si m- are maimed or dying, Her hope is crushed and lying (hi long suffering Cuba's ransomed shore The dreaded monsters from beyond the -ea That came to set hack human liberty And carry out the oft repeated boast, Destroy our cities on Atlantic coast. To them — Spain's trust — is dread destruction brought. Idle naval battle of tin: ace is fought And freedom won, Is't strange that Texas' tars Should wish to cheer their bright triumphant star-"' Swinging arms in happy mood, ( if joy 1 iv give one i heer they could. They start each voice to raise in loud acclaim Their great, brave Commander -t 1 Appealing. Be all honor to his name 'Twas Captain Philip, with uplifted hand. Ills voice in pity, not austere command: One of those men God raised up for the lime. Hero, fighter, blackened with battle grime, The platform where he bravelj did direct I he fighters had, by Spanish shot been wrecked. lie saw — the mind of the hero discerning — That the foes helpless were drowning and burning. Though to ruin they're led, Their truce-flag in suppliance living, "I lon't cheer, men." Philip -aid. "Let us praise Cod instead," "Don't cheer — those poor devils are dying." i olumbia, thy heroes are worthy thy pride, I hy faith in their valor may ever abide, I )n land and on sea. again and again. rhey've shown that tierce fighters can he gentle men. I. ions in courage when duty's at stake. Gentle as doves for humanity's sake, Alert as the eagle to strike at thy foes. Like tigers they'll light while any oppose. I hit when victory appears \nd our liag is triumphantly flying, I \ en your hi ild cannoneers Willingly stifle their cheers When the foe they find helpless or dying. 37 STARS AND CROSSES. ther wave, O standards of the Free, 1 ho' comirn n I 11 -nap and snarl al Wave "ii the hope of ages yet to be — Wa\ I ierty. found where'er thy bearers led, Religious freedom where thy soldiers tread, Refulgent light where darkness reigned instead The light ol Liberty. lom in fact, not merely empty name, lawless discord, anarchy and shame, The subs the fitful flash and flame — Rational Liberty. VVhal matter- tho' barbarians build their walls, Thy hen . .md ev'ry barrier falls, No envious malediction e'er appal s — They strike for Liberty. The only hope our enemies possess I'bai through some frenzied folly or c- We may forget and bringing -ore distress Imperil Libei Delusive hopi Should leaders e'er prove knaves, Free no more are suppli'nt sla But "stars" and "crosses" each to brother waves F i both and Liberty. a" the echoes ring, The same grand anthem roll- "Cod save our King,' "Red, White and Blue." we all together sing — Sing loud for Liberty. Forever wave— illumine I i ;el her all i m m mies defy. For this we strive for this our martyrs die — Progress with Liberty. forward, down the steeps of time iter meeting destiny sublime. Together colors, music, hearts anil rhyme And all for Liberty. Written for the British American Society. - HOME-MADE THEOLOGY. I hev' ,i filosi ify i if my own Mebbe it's neither wise nor strange, But my faith it has always keot in tone An' 1 ain't a-goin' to change. I've seen men a-prosperin' all around Whose lives were vile the whole year lone, An' I've seen good men by misfortun' ground, Everythin' they touched went wrong; I've studied the thing from all points of view. Kept Scriptur' thoughts fast m my mind. An' am firmly convinced that me an'' you Good reasons '11 sometime find; I've read that "the transgressor's way is hard." An' that "your sin '11 find you out;" I 'i give a full-weight pound, an honest yard. Pays best m the end I've no doubt. 1 feel sure there'll be a reckonin' day- It may be far, it may be soon — God doesn't balance up His books 1 say By changes we see in the moon I convinced myself a score o' yeai That there's reason fur day an' night, I bat there's reason for all our trouble an' woe, I hat all will be sometime right I've seen men be brutal an' never kind. Press other men back to the wall, — God's mills to us may seem to slowly grind. But they do grind exceeding small.' I here's plenty o' men whose life objects seem To pull down, hut never a boost — I heir chickens wax fat in some selfish scheme But 'II surely come home to roost. Selfishness and greed, enmity, false pride Are weeds our growing -mils to try To make us till the deeper— straighter guide, For harvest's golden by-'n-by, Things d m't alius happen the way we pray, 'I he reason we'll learn late or soon — God doesn't balance up his books. I say, By changes we see in the moon. I've studied well an' come to this conclusion — That final justice e'er prevails. That useless suffering or confusion Our world's Creator ne'er entails; l'\ e studied tin- animals an' the bird - Along the plants, an' fruits, an' flowers. In astronomic books the law that glials I his beautiful world of ours lo the Universe. I've looked for some blunder Bul found it not — only mystery deep — tions vast that inspire our wonder. That never disobey, nor sleep ["ho' centuries come and go. Stands to reason 'I hat unjust rule, for man would mar Creation's plan, inviting treason. While ev'ry mysterious star Teaches order. The eternal year, or day, lias neither December nor June — i, nd doesn't balance up bis hooks. I f'.\ changes we see in the moon 30 AN OPTIMIST REFRAIN. ■ ill world is growing wiser growing wiser day by day, lb. rank wildei less of erroi ruth is giving way. Then Ige — fertile fields of golden grain. Where the weeds and brambles flourished,— now they strive to root in vain; lelusions the sullen past, W driven before the sunlight and into the sea arc c; i listen you can hear the sturdy Woodm Neither stump nor -tone can long withstand brave pioneer attacks; You can -ci- the cli . you can hear the chorus rise — Tis the pean of patient p iding to the -lies — "Make a way. break away -all worthy -hall he frei Make a way. break away . foi Liberty." This old world ing bi tti i daj by day. You can onflict, ev'rj skirmish, ev'ry fray; You can read il in the galling barbarisms of the past, In the cruel, clammy customs of foul vassalage and caste; In ancient moldy mysteries the mind of man deceiving Now suppliant servants of our will — our common want- relieving; In histori p dripping red with human sac: heii i- born a dear-born prize — i giant u i- growing— it will battle ev'ry wrong, "Equal Rights" throughout the world will sing this grand triumphant song. "Make a way. hreak awaj all worthy shall he fri Make a way, break awaj : i ■ foi Liberty." old world i- growing freei growing Freei day by day; Lei ii- catch the insp k and sing and cheer and pray; The bigot shackles from mi n to II are b ining, There are heights attained our forefathers never dreamt of win: You can see it in thi oud as it swiftly scurries free. Purifying, agitating, till it rests within the sea; You can see n in the lighti i handwriting on the sky- Proclaiming full enlightened freedom and justice by and by; Faith can s tl . j( m the sunshine that on king and beggar fall. And in the crashing thunder-tone- can hear this rallying call: — "Make a way, hreak away— all worthy shall he free; Make a way, break away— make way :Tr Liberty." in DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. 1 he philosophers toll us of many changes immense That they feel certain will happen in remote ages hence. The earth is growing colder they feel sure every day. And by the year 20,000 will be frigid they say. But we don't need to worry about that. The sun will burn entirely out in some ten tl.'illion years. But we will not be here to see it. so silence your fears. If the earth stops revolving it will fall into the sun. But we need 11, it let that interfere with our present lun. So we don't need to worry about that. By some ten thousand years more the population will grow So there will not be standing room on this planet you know, The people will croud on it then as thick as they can wedge \ 1 1 . i maybe some poor fellows must hang over its edge; But we don't need to worry about that. And in less than ten thousand years they say there is no doubt Our supply of coal and firewood will most surely give nut. The earth's changing its shape and some remote day we are told The nee. in will cover the earth with its waters so cold. But we don't need to worry about that. Any year a big comet may happen to come our way And knock our earth into dust, some wise scientists say. Our future is safe in the hands of our Father above. It's the present is with us, shall we recreant prove? We all ought to worry about that. A monstrous demon I see holds the whole earth in his grasp. Kingdoms and empires all are crushed in his powerful clasp; He feasts on home, happiness, honor, all drawn to his snare, And gives in return disease, poverty, death and despair. We all ought to worry about that. Our own land ah me. ten hundred million dollars at least Each year pays, to sustain the hosts of this great wicked beast, I need not stop to tell you when 1 mention this vast sum That the demon who takes it is the vile demon of rum. We all ought to worry about that. His great army of soldiers is two hundred thousand strong, Who struggle for more power for this cruel giant, wrong. Each year he feasts upon a 'hundred thousand human lives. Spares neither rank nor sex — fathers, mothers, children, husbands, wives, We all ought to worry about that. His slaves we all are. more or less, for struggle as we will We must help to bear the burden, it costs to feed the still. Where is your manhood, men. that you should let this demon roam To burden honest labor and to desecrate the home? We all ought to worry about that. 1 ho' his hosts are defiant, let your banner wave 011 high. As God is our great leader we must conquer bye and bye; So when your work on earth is done and you reach the golden gate. If the Angel asks your record, this you can tell him straight: "Well, when T was on earth 1 attended Dr. Soandso's church, and tried to live a Chris- tian life, but as I regarded intemperance the great giant evil of the world, I devoted so much of my time to rescuing my fellow-men from the grasp of the demon, and to endeavor ing to cripple the power of that dreadful scourge, that I didn't really have time t<. study ALL the creeds of Christendom, and, of course, I may he wrong in my belief." I think the bright Angel will smile, and most surely will say, As he opens wide the portal and shows to you the way: "You don't need to worry about that." 41 THE CHAIRMAN'S DREAM. L'hough short was the meeting, it had wearisome lenj The Chairman in va icerted his strength, In endi avoi ti md Which hung o'er the members i >ur glorioi I >ur i ibjects and pla id de- I In- orders wore read and to eacli for- mal call, Followed the ring sharp fall; And "G 1 of the Order" was shortly (How oft it's an order that's sadly misnamed i back with despair. The Secretary promptly to leavi pi i pare. ( ;oldwatei hts to hi • side did roam. And he drearily said, "Guess-we'd-bet- g'-home." ii rose and vacated his chair; ["he members alarmed at each did stare, (link he inii ndi d to make thi ech ; But hi- said, "I'm not going ta nor to preach. A strange dream I had when I slum- ist night, f"o help me translate it. you all I in- vite. \ wagon I saw. built on lines to con- To a fort, a shield, a safe refuge from storm. And upon its broad sides and over each Were mottoes fraternal and figure- ga- lore." "Twixt the thills 1 was strapped, with collar and your promised help I chose to submit: ogi the] n i pulled it united and mg — And for a brief while we moved swift ly along. 1 grew a burden wheels cl irth; In dismay I eli to un- rth; 42 The Chairman's Dream. At las; in exhaustion I fell to the ground, Imagine my feelings when looking around; In anguisli I saw as I lay on the track. Some who should push hardest wen' pulling straight back; And some seated calmly in comfort in- side. Were through others' labor enjoying the ride." "Then I heard a voice say, 'The reason is clear. Win we move 50 slowly, 'twixt doubt- ing and fear; lis a head we are lacking — his power grows le We need a leader who can pull to cess.' In dismay I awoke and made up my mind I'd tell you my dream in the hope we would find The solution (I trust 'twill not difficult seem) 1 »i this very puzzling remarkable dream If through it we may profit. I freely confess. Its horrible moments 1 gladly shall Moral — If you want things to move, help do tin.- pulling; or, if you won't help, don't kick. THE VILEST SINNER. "1 must, dear mamma, ask of you, What naughty thing did Marj do. That people charge her all the while With being 1 me 50 very vile ?" "My child, I've neither heard nor I If her. nor know what you can mean, I n tell you I can not begin — Where did you bear of Mary'- n "At church, mamma, this verse they tell < if her. and seem to know her well — ' For while the lamp In ilds out to barn I he vilest ■.inner Mary Turn 43 ONLY A COG IN A WHEEL. i if machines there arc millions filled with wheels in di i part, each i ither, ■ ng its brother, All by some common force stop and start; Laboring some mid dirt and grime, ( (thers merely mi ev'ry motion is ri must hold firmly its grip ' r would bring disa lip, riiough each only one cog in a wheel. A complex, w machine, Ever changing real i ene, I mankind with its numberless sections; \\ hei \\ h( els "I pli p imp and pain. Rolling ever in many direction . I tiding bj nighl day, — Grinding each other away — Human cogs that can see and can feel; Si ime in Erei from jar, Oilier-' noise is heard . But each S<. all our efforts, our . Be great or humble our claims, I lave limits despite our endeavor; To 51 >mi center we are bound, Carried around and an mud, Tho' able, or wealthy, or clever; Ev'n id" perfect demeani n And your work may be cleaner Than your fellows' and exalted you feel; I he greal machine will mc , Soon forget that you are gone, I or each is only one cog in a wheel. What useless folly to boast — We are ] i « i aklings at mi i I ( ii oui talent s, i n powei . or « ealth ; ( Ir to think ii ery friend Should in obiesance bend iur whims in mir sickness or health. lake a despot you ma\ storm, Enragi pcrfi n m, : the fact vim can never conceal; You're a small part in a plan, Depending on fellovi man. Foi yi m're i ■ 1 1 1 > i me o ig in a w heel. < Inly a single 1 1 ig, I say, But duties many, day by day, Duties to God and toward mankind; faci d and bra\ elj di me, Battles fought and nobly won, \\ ith ne'er a flinch from the daily K'ind. The tune will come when at command I J. h . hi el w Hi sti ip bj Master's hand. That you i true may your work reveal; tr part may heart and voice, Exultant, ci mfident 1 1 As a faithful cog in a worthy wl tl THE QUARREL. Yes. it's true. Bill an' me have quarrelled, I feel ashamed to say. As for many years we've been the closest friends by night an' day. 'Twas about a little dicker — I felt sure thai I was right. An' when my word was doubted gol so mad 1 had tl know thai life with ns is largely what we make it. Now feel that whiff of fragrant air laden with sugar and p And yonder if you're over warm is some cream prepared with ii That I 1 "'. When tired of life that hone} is a glorious place to die. Joj am nd ii- No complaint from decent flies. Of all mean things a chronic growler I do the most d "Ah me," n othei ly, Your long lecture I've endured. You'n ' with glut! i less case I feel assured. , mind me of th i mr animal books call men. Who each other constantly abuse with vicious tongue and pen; talk of aristocrats and oppression isses. While some berate the anarchists and "discontented classes." The;, this fact to know ('1 ame, my friend, with That lepend upon the point from which we view. From youi ph j seems correct, I h; For j iside of the screen bul I am on the out." is LOOK YOURSELF IN THE FACE. It may please to be flattered and favored, To be noted, handsome and brave; It may please to succeed where you've labored, In language be brilliant and suave, It is pleasant to be wittj and wise, To have confident manners and grace, But ne'er can talents your failings disguise When you look yourself in the face. 'Tis well to pose as a model for youth, Ideals in have broad and grand, 'Tis well to be known as loving the truth. To be known for liberal hand; 'Tis well to In' strong, ev'n boast of one's strength, But can't beat yourself in the race; l r \'n one living knows best bis own length And knows what he sees in bis face. 'Tis good to friendly and sociable be. To have a great army of friends : But friends may fail and if needed may tier When fortune or trifle offends, Mid all disappointment, worry and care, (ine thing you can dodge— 'tis disgrace; With manhood unsullied the world you can dare And look yourself square in the face. 'Tis bad if amid the duties of life When you see yourself in the glass, You find deceit, dissipation or strife Revealed in the lines as you pas — J lus wrinkle a fault and that one a sin — No smirking can ever displace, rubers mav guess, but you know what's within When you look- yourself in the faci Whate'er else be your rules or predictions. This axiom safe you will bud — When true to your soul's bravest convictions, You'll surely be true to mankind; 'Tis a comfort in life — a solace in death. Whatever the time or the place. To know that with conscience you've always kept faith- ( .in look yourself square in the face. 49 JUST FORGET. I've had !i But forgel If nursed ii will do Do 1 tie- Dreams I Ahead of the b Sim ■ in the The.man in'thViead has the I v n « h tor the day, ,,, ,, R . race Nor any days in the week when grieving If you don't drive your work it may ilm ' ea « bl ' V, i ■ . debt 1 iel discouraged do j Just 1 ' iright bl irage gel \\ ■ might grow over boastful w icked you kn i\v . If all things went oui waj certain i \\ e forget. Dailj tasks lo not hirl Busj get. \\ orrj kills us n ii ... >rk— Don't foi • still i~ decay. Laboi . so work ■. 'i maj "Blui ■ in walk through the People smiling you mi ■^ ■ The thousands ■;. i "shut in' who never can roam From the narrow confines of an im- lesome honn Pains b 1 iur health not the best Nerves up Nol i i worry's l i ( 'heerful gel . I here'l] be b >oks. I and task \iiit we are from view and from mem- Ills f irgi I f enemy assails Just foregt, Hill- can't be without vale \\\ < : Hatred shows you're in sight— malice ih - you're alive Men ne'er env) the dead n ir u itll Hil- lings strh e riien i • ■ \re your duties a task — Jusl forget. Pays tn discontenl mask From all n .in and an ng '< is '"'-' : ' i ill ' i whistle and sing And foi I las som< friend givei Jusl foi I lave you trusted in vain Wisdom get. 1 1- the fate of us all i i exist j US | t . , learn Expei ■ n — n d e i a nn o j Ii foi the most .it" your ji ■■ Il.l[l|l> yet. ill'ow darkness ■' m'l alwaj - lie fair nor all It nursed it will d 50 WORDS WE NEED NOT SAY. It isn't the things we need to do that cause us endless pain. It i- pandering pride and envy and greedy grasp for gain It is not the smoothly beaten path of daily duties done, That has pitfalls deep and briers that tear and rocks that bruise and stun: Tis not the shut-, from open foe that with danger must beset, But missiles thrown by careless hands that can ne'er be seen nor met; So mid the daily struggle kind thoughts arc driven away And we hasty fling the foolish words we never need to say. 'Tis a thankless task advice to give to those who need it most, 'Tis an art to give it free from critic's cut or cruel boast, But given should be with grace received and grasp of proffered hand - Between friends a thoughtless thrust or stupid sneer should never stand. Sharp words 'tis best to cut in two — casting mil the stin^ or bite — "It takes t\vi> to make a quarrel" — perhaps neither wholly right; 111 chosen words though not ill meant oft bring ruin and dismay, For the words that deepest cut arc those we never need to say. Yes, we all yet tned and fretful when things don't go quite right, I'm it doesn't help to snap and snarl like dogs that dare not bite ; Men will always fight lor mastery with word- if not with guns. Each will seek to speak the word the adversary soonest stuns. But in the hallowed circle — home, 'mid friends or social call. Stinging -Inrs and cruel cuts from human lips should never fall; There arc hearts that ache and needles- break and souls that drift astra . For the words that hurt the most arc words we never need to - We don't need ourselves humiliate nor fail our rights di i id. lint boisterous words arc worthless — ever break hut never mend; 'Mmi; abhorrent things stand mockery — meanest of word-made tools. And insinuating irony — the logic used by fool — Ami sarcasm — often meant for wit 'gainst these thy conscience gird, Nor exhibit weakness by the craze to have the final word; ( hi these rocks sweet peace and hope are lost — are needless cast av For the words that rack' and wreck arc those we never need to saw We don't need to be always smiling, or happy, nor ev'tl kind; Don't need to ever encourage, or soothe any troubled mind; Don't need to sine any roses, tho' none like a thistle or burr; Don't need to give any sweetmeats, if bitter drops you prefer; Life is torn by useless contention -some of us learn too late, [iach year it- burden of sorrow brings don't needless add to the weight, Engrave this text upon your heart and read it day by day — The words thai deepest cut are those we never need to say. 51 Cofyrtgbt, /pOj. *r 7"<*f' Cowpanj Courtetj cf Leslie i tt'eeklj STEADY ! THE TEMPLE BUILDERS. clear away the weeds that cumber — clear away tlie rubbish lieap. Plow it square and plow it broad -dig it true and dig it deep; High and massive walls their ponderous weight secure hum lay On this unyielding base prepared of rock and pile and clay Now we see the building forces gathering in their might. Men and engines, men and horses — working day or night, Solid bastions placing of cement and iron and stone, Squared and plumbed and leveled till a foundation true i- -In wn "Hen ;i pillar — there a brace, Now steady yonder beam in place. This stone with g 1 cement encase We are .1 temple building." X^w bring the massive corner-stone turn from the mountain's heart. Now from the giant forge bring clamping steel to bind each part; See it, like a thing of life, steady rising 'bove the earth. Now we see it- beauty — now we behold its promised worth; Replete with life indeed it i — the thought is not in vain- Each block baptized with energy of human brawn and brain, It rises to the music of the chisel and the maul, And the trowel ceaseless working cements together all. "That coping bread now set secure 1 hat angle-iron will strength ensure, ( )itf work must for an age endure — This temple we arc building Now as the structure rises it reveals designer's plan — Columns erect guard portals broad which graceful arches span; Now see the faithful workmen — each with skill performs his art — In the busy hive each worker seems an independent part; While we the energy admire — the lain a- perfect dune; We o'erlook the system that unite all it- part- in one — Each man a given -hare to do — each block a place to till — Guided by master-minds and they by masters higher -till "Carefully true up yonder ledge, Intel this arch that keystone wedge All to tune of riveter's sledge A temple noble building " Now the giant crane and pulley cease their hemic wori Have creaked and groaned 'neath daily load- but ne'er to fail nor shirk \nd from base to dome the masters proclaim it strong and true; Then carving, cornice and bracket ornate are brought to view. The artist brings his dextrous touch -his gold-leaf and bis dyes. And the temple strong 1- a temple fair to mortal eyes; Now flash the light— illumine bright each shaded spot, and then We see a tit abode for women fair and noblest men "Garnished and glazed and glorified, Each 'gainst the others' skill has vied. Each to his part can point with pride — A temple glorious-builded " 53 WHEN YOUR FEET ARE SLIPPING AWAY. An ol.l Man- Plaint. After climbing life's hill <1< >n't expect too much When tin rough, downward path yon descend, That the world will have any kindlier to When you'n nearing your long journey's end; Don't think tin.- repose you have striven to win Musi be yours at tin- closi our day, n't expect overmuch from kith or from kin. When your feet you find slipping away. This whirling old world i- crowding thi I In- swift lightning i- crowding tin- ex- it jeer- the patriarchs, -inn- at the sages, Gray hair- it irreverent mocks; \- your pace slackens it will leave you behind So keep moving— don't get in tin- way, Narrowing, narrow r youi place you will nd, A- your feet you feel slipping aw With eyi | lim y< m must see Iiki 1 1 Stumbling is ne\ er i* irgi\ i n With hearing impaired you must hear like the The slow must ruthless be driven; The race has no time to list to your groaninj To hear you preach, point precept 01 pray, Keep ill- to yourself and stifle your moaning, When '"in feel you find slipping away. Youi back tho' bent with burdens and battles Should never complain of it- load-. tongue must be dumb— dumb a- the cattle's, Dumbh obeying the fate that goads; Don't rage at the fashions, thi frolic, the folly, — The thoughtless must have their own way. As they sow they shall reap — 'twill not '• ■ so jolly, When their feet they find slipping away. Youth and vigor think it take- courage to die — You know it lake- courage to live, To face daily the trials around you that lie The service expected to gi\ e ; Tho' your body is tired your ambition is hold \nd you struggle to conquer dismay, In desperation on life just tighten your hold Tho' your feet you feel slipping awaj If fortune ha- smiled and you've laid snugly by \ surplus, 'twill vanish like dew, When you find through ill health 'ti- useless to try lo defend it where friend- are -o few; When young you may act like a capering colt. Erratic in work or in plaj . But with any tailing- you're a "doting old dolt." I f your feet at e -lipping away. We know you are feeble, and frail and failing. That your old heart it- pulses -low give. But make peace with yoitr aches forget all \onr ailing, Make the best of the tact that you live. You would -mile but never see aught that'- amusing, \nd io laugh have! forgotti n l hi way, But say "All i- well." your faith never abusing, ["hough your feet you feel slipping awaj Don't sa\ I'm complaining no. never a word— We old "querulous crank-" should he calm. I preach precious patience my pencil i- -purred — ii ni life i- ., dignified psalm, ease you are dreaming and perfect content You ma) mid you are sadlj astrav. Consolation comes only it days In- well spent, our leet have goni slipping away. 54 FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENT AT DEER CREEK. Editor Limetown Bugle I've lots of news for you this week for things are surely moving the Under- takers all complain their business aint improving reports of sickness in our midst was just a cruel Imax (Doctor Lancer's been away some weeks a visit- ing his folks ) John Higgins started on the bank nf creek an ice house to build he met with such an accident he fatally was killed a tree he felled fell on bis bead ('twas sixty inches round) being killed he fell into the creek where be was quicklj drowned the funeral was large for the people all turned out bis deeds were known by residents all living hereabout the preacher for our example said our neighbor sure bad gone to that land where winter's storms and snow ami cold are never known. Doctor Peelum has remarked success a treating of the sick be performed a operation successful on Mrs Dick bis methods are unique Ins fame some would like to borrow (Mrs Dick's funeral ser- vice will take place tomorrow ) Rev. J. Henry Smythe has received a flattering call from an unfortunate church in the town of Bloomingfall with salary much larger and may break the ties that bind be says to make the sac- rifice he's not made up bis mind lint is praying for guidance and the light that praying brings (but Mrs. Smytbe has the curtains down and is packing up their things The proudest man in our town is Mr. Sylvester Foggs he is proud as can be- over one of his premium hogs lie's .1 ini fellow and weighs nearly 400 pound (lie's a great breeder and has taken prizes all around 1 Some hoys were caught last week with a big jug of corn juice got it ihe\ said front Deacon Rich'- cellar he's madder than the deuce. Samuel 1 laniels is a "forger" and tie work lie does is very line call on him it you want anything in the forging line be keeps his spirit- up by never pouring down a drop (be does his forging and all such work at his blacksmith shop) Scat and Gray an addition are build- ing to their hotel to enlarge their saloon (it will be run in like a L) this will to ire refreshments the ladies enable without going through the office or around by the -table the linn's deter- mined to please the best people m town from Deputy Sheriff or Village Presi- dent down. John Dodge's gone on a visit to an institution id" the state be was chaper- oned by George Sharp who as a guard- ian is great he's the village Constable he favors none nor any fears (Dodge took some things that wasn't his and the Judge he said "four years") John Moore at bis dairy farm has sunk a deeper well that bis business is growing we do not need tO tell be sells all kinds of milk also buttermilk and cream that be can well lill any want lo say may useless -cent. Nick Fritz has a fine meat-market and sausages over par (bis Newfoundland dog was killed last week run over by a car ) Bob Alexander's residence was burned last Friday night the family es- caped with nothing on they were a sorry sight the only furniture saved from the cruel conflagration was some fruit stored m the cellar also the stone foundation Bob nearly lost bis life (we do regret his close escape) though fully covered by insurance might be in much better shape. The Trustees of Mope Cemetery met last Friday night: they're going to dam things down the creek to make a new mill-site: they resolved to thank those who bad most helped their enterprise especially Druggist Martcr and Liquor Dealer Wise also the Auto-Club ami Eureka foot-ball team. It is hoped some more citizens will help along the -ebeme 1 wrote last week that Samuel Jones was a bustling bustler your types -aid to my amaze he was a "busting huckster." I said Prof Mills had invented a com planter vour types said "corn plaster" and he got mad nist. inter Jones is look- ing for me with a club such things make me despondent yon must watch your types Or you will need another ( ( )RRESP( INDEN 1' ( X 1 1 1 e . --The lack of lucidity in communica- tions of the avi ragi country correspondent, the disregard for punctuation, frequently giv- ing double meaning and requiring constant watchful revision at the editorial mom-, is well known to every publisher. The foregoing "correspondence" was written, as .1 suggi of .1 style that might be adopted which would make such items more interesting without les- sening their verdant chai m 1 .-,.-, 5G THE MAN WHO POSTED PICTURES ON OUR FENCE. We all have our ideals of the things that make men great, i lur heroes are the men whose deeds we'd like to imitate — The fireman on his ladd r— the soldier on the firing line. I fie man who makes his engine leap seems to some the most divini , The man who throws the swiftest hall and saves a close-fought game And the man \\1m climbing steeples big profit gets and fame. But J remember when 1 thought the hero most immense Was the man who daily posted the pictures on our U:i}< < Some crave to fie a po t and smooth verses write that iingle, Smile aspire to painting sunsets — the tints and colors mingle. Some see glory running Iiorsi leading in the frenzied heats, Some see heroes in the blue-coat — proudly guarding city streets, would sail the treach'rous waters —battling 'gains! the storm-king's | Some find their heroes on the stage who tragic rage and glower. But my youthful eye o'erlooked them a'! and chose without pretence I he man who daily posted lag, startling pictures on our fence () thos C bright red and yellow posters m) mind can see today; There wa- Davy Crockett braveh keeping all the wolves at bay. I here wa- the King of Iragedy in rob.es of royalty, \ 1 1 ■ I the Soldier Boy wuh emblems profuse of loyalty, The songstress who sweetb warbled for Society's delight And the "Boxing .Match"- two men who seemed to us prepared to light. 1'. tote tile hills were torn and ruined we waited with suspense la.r the next surprise from "him" who posted pictures on our fence Each week he would have something new to delight our youthful eye: — The overlapping combinations would oft create surprise; We would read that "Skinner's Hair Dye" — "Speedy cures the stomach-ache." "Bin groceries at Grinder's, -1 then "Winner's Soothing Syrup take,' "Read the Morning Record." — "Cures gore eyes and frosted feet," "Buy Greenum's Draperies and Carpets,"— "Never can he heat." "Reverend Doctor Love will preach on," — "Huff's Whisky is immense," Then they'd blame the careless man who posted pictures on our fence When the circus spason came it put our hero at his best. He unrolled maidens on the slack-wire and clowns with sill) jest. He built great parades of elephants and camels and the like. Gymnasts, jugglers and men doing famous tricks upon the "hike," There were snakes of great proportions till we shuddered at the sight, Timers wild and ev'ry other thing that ever lived to bite, We wondered how much of u he owned— the doubt grew quite intense, \s we ga/ed upon the man who posted pictures on our fence Since that time we have grown wiser (in our own estimation), Seen heroes countless and ideals of our own creation. We've seen giant rockets fall after blazing in the skies. We've seen some idols crumble — we've seen heroes grandh rise, We've learned that all can noble be in humblest avocation— That around us he incentives to worthy aspiration, But in all the recollections that memory recompense None beam brighter than the man who posted pictures on our fence 57 THE MAN BEHIND THE GAVEL. You've heard the doleful plaint ;m ponderous earthy ball, Norn can equal the big man behind the gavel. \t Farmers' t !lub, in Disti icl Si 1 1, ( >i where the learned professors rule, You observe him with unbounded admiration; And where he wears a stiff, high hat at appeals and such as that, You recognize his exalted elevation; ( )r in our Legislative halls. Whose tricks the simple mind appals Or where delegates our politics unravel, And like- their great progenitors, Make Presidents and Senator-. \i hi- best you find the man behind the gavel As you pass within the portal i i in see he's n< > common mortal. You see his arm outstretched above his fellow-: lie has courage and endurance And unlimited assurance See his bosom proudl) heaving lik< a b taws; See the members flocking round him — You would think they'd sure confound him, And at his dictation would indignant cavel; But you see in half a minute, \, , i mi i Ise is reallj "in it," Winn compared beside the man behind the j I f you wain your pn ijecl cat ried You must see that he is harried, \nd buttonholed and coaxed and complimented high; For b\ deft manipulation, 1 le can put j our pi i ci eatii m, Sleeping sweeth in the land of by-and-by; lie know- ev'rj man that lobbies And know- well each member's hobbii Parliamentary tangles can unravel; I le must ever he respected, 1 • i >meone will be dejected l',\ this omnipotent man behind the gavel. You may think him domineering, Winn you -ee him firmly steering, Tin dangers avoiding a learned pilot -ee-: Sometimes hi- asseveration I - thoughtless consternation, But he in safetj brings In- craft before the breeze; 1 ■. i lust '. lunged debater, Ev'r; nois; a [itator, Feel ! : powi r and at hi- mandate- sullen cavel; They dare not him attempt <\ri\. Or they will fail to catch hi- eye, When they'd -peak before the man behind thi 58 MAN BEHIND THE GAVEL. Throughout all civilization He is met with adulation, In many tongues he speak-, and rules in man) lands; Respects the strong majority, Protects tin weak minority, His gavel is supreme when held in proper hands; Out of tumult he brings order, Law and usage are his border. And beyond these bounds he will not let you travel; Quick when his magic gavel falls, In lodge or club or Congress halls, We heads uncover to the man behind the gavel A HARD-WEAR HAT. 1 careless strolled one day into a store a hat to liny. It proved to he a hardware store — the mistake mj soul did try. Said one clerk. "We can a 'stovepipe' li.it put up to lit you true." And he suggested perhaps I might he out at clbozt'S too; Another said 'twould need be ironed and polished without doubt, And if am dents are "stove" in it the\ must he hammer-ed out; They both agreed the job was plane— could do it in a twinkle — lust rivet on a rim and In! — 'twill be without a wrinkle When I iVoii-icalh axe-d them the cost of their ad-iw. They said to shovel out a dollar would be the staple price, To fork over my while-metal 1 didn't feel inclined. But screen-ed from them the purpose 1 was casting in my mind. A pot-ulent porter said the hat would like a chimne) draw- Attention to the spoon-iest rake the people ever saw Their stoves they said had feet and could be run but wouldn't walk, And stranger still they had some pairs of tongs that couldn't talk; Their jokes then took a narrow- range about fellows full of brass Who needed stovepipes on their heads to allow escape of gas; I semt'-ed up courage, brace-d myself and said their fun I'd hamper. On such hot-air I'd surely close a check and turn a damper. I told them they were not square though they thought their conduct grati \ ivire-y lot of chaps were they — it made me hesitate, 1 felt mv mettle rising and a chain of things was thinking, 1 saw that I was in a trap and felt my spirits sink-'mg. So I just flue toward the door— I found it &ar-red and bolt-ed, I tripped a step (ladder) over— m) anatomy it jolted. I broke my nails, 1 ivrcnch-ed m\ joints, but hoe-hoc, a window raised; I rushed, then lead m a race— at my at-tacks the) were amazed, I scale-d, said "watch m\ smoke—] prefer to do the fire-'mg." It soot-ed me to get away, no hat-chet and perspiring. MORAL. Though can-tank-erous their conduct and a n-ice-box 1 was in, I my nickels saved, got plumb away— much to their shear chagrin; Yet this pan-ic tale is not complete with. ait this little moiu'r— If you'd hue. or hook, or steel a ha1 don't try a hardware store 59 CRANX. You meet them in the ti ' m on the You meet them in the churches— in the lodge their fai You meet them in the restaurants- you meet them in the banks great omnicient arm.) -mystic, irrepressive cranx. Jk lAx'Zoetje t-A eir jfcLceJ hi&c-t Their judgment cannot be astray on Histon or Kinan disaster I England, German) and France, ["hey view with apprehension every legislative bill, \n.l they know the Commonwealth i- rapid!) going down the hill. ["he.\ have remei ill distress from chills to poli No one ever them can "bunco"— the) know all the latest trick-. And if our dear Country goes to smash b\ running off the track ranks a willing hand will lend to pull her saf.'ly b rhere"s the man who loud prognosticates dire famines, floods and war — He gets it through some secret "wireless" source from rudd) Mars Can tell you how the stars control your living and your dying— Tis '"destiny" for you to change at all i- useless trying; - the man who's studied Shakspeare till he lives within it- spell. ( )f I lamlet, Juliet, i ithello it pleasi - him to tell. He ran prove b\ apt quotations that In-'- right or you are wroi And with pleasurable fervor he repeats hi- little There's the man who look- for wondrous things when it shall come to pass, That we all our daily diet make on peanuts, fruits and grass; Ami funnier still the man who would drive all our ills away, Just by limiting our hill of fare to one his meal a day; There'- tin- man who undertake- nobl) to reform the world, \t liquor and tobacco hi- anathema- are hurled. Despite of drinker'- -coif- and sneers, with no one him to thank. He bravel) rights hi- battle tho' he know- he'- labeled "crank There's the man who knows the world i- rapid coming to an end lie proves it by the Prophets and for his claims doth loud contend. Hut he keeps on loaning money on "promises to pay," And lays b) an honest penny to meet a rainy day. Perhaps best of all that genial chap what would we do without him — Who through all trials cordial yreet- everyone about him lie never "trouble- trouble," spreads bright sunshine all around Such crank- the world can ill afford to lose or feelings wound There's the deluded creature — hall we pity him or blame? Who keep- up -team with stomach charged with alcoholic t! Hi- energ) some ma) admire— his wit some loudly praise, But ill know and tell each other it is liquor's transient craze; Worst of all I ami meanest I i- the man who'd cure all ills B faith, because 'tis cheaper than paying .1.1,1.11'- bills lie take- a grain "f truth and a mountain make- of error; children helpless perish in agony and terroi 60 CRANX. 1 here'.* the man who's running over with well-meant religious zeal, Bui forgets true Christian charity t'ward other's creeds to feel; Strong in contrast is the crank who makes it his foolish mission To give each good and sacred thing his vilest opposition; ["here's the man who thinks for "autos" the street, have been created — I li.it horses and pedestrians should he eliminated; The man whose "luck's against" him — just someone else to blame, or "fate.' And the man who of his aches and pains does constant!} relate. "Aiver lrgy.lief "CnMiJloYy or finOt. o e." "•sAf >n tO\ whose. /ac/i'S agamslfy) And there are man} minor cianx who sing a minor tune--- lln- man who cuts his hair and sets his hens b\ change of moon. 1 In- race-track cranks, the baseball cranks, who "root" and yell and rage, \ml the man whose thoughts asleep, awake, are centered on the stage; I he man who feels the inspiration his "poetry" to re.nl. I ho' you must listen his effusions both rhyme and meter need; Single-tax. free-trade and socialism and government control, Have each extremists who combined make up the merry whole Of faddists and collectors there's a multitude, believe us, Earnest, wide-awake, amusing -their acts can never grieve us. The men with pleasant hobbies are the happiest men alive, Harmless fads keep men from evil — may they multiply and thrive. Fancies, follies, failings there's room tor all — room lor you and me; If all were built and thought alike how sombre all would be; Let u- living, learning, laboring, avoid each freak extreme. If we must be cranx let kindness in our ev'ry action gleam. JuSl one meal a day ' 'Me lives within its S/iell MiS aekes andfiaaS' We'll gather in the trolley cars- we'll gather in the street; We'll gather in the churches — in the lodges we will meet; We'll gather in the restaurants — we'll gather in the banks The great, omnicient army — mystic, irrepressive cranx. el GOOD-BYE. t I bj e, g< i id cheer — Kiml reader, sister, brother, friend, M.i\ happiness thy needs attend Through all the year. I i 1 bj e, g I heart — Tin grief Ik- light as swallow's v I In joy pierce gloom as robins sing \ml storm-clouds part. • id bj e, g I health — May muni and body e'er agree, Bring health, whate'er thy fortune be In fame or Health. i i I byi ><] nann As 'li irmant deep amid the gl Patient awaits tin beauteous bid ( luard thou thj lame. < i I bye, gi ii h1 speed — May ev'ry milestone on life's way. Ma\ ev'ry impulse grave or gay, I gi iodness li ad ' Bye 62